#like its kind of funny. but also realistically it would not happen this way bc zelda has more common sense than that

[blueskittlesart]

not to be That Guy but i would genuinely love to know the route zelda and link took to get under the castle for the opening of totk because the only route that I can find that looks like it would have led down there pre-upheaval is marked with a very clear explanation of what is down there and what you should absolutely not do if you find it. and link and zelda presumably saw this warning and then did exactly the opposite of what it said

[stripedtabbycat]

since I’m rewatching gravity falls rn I thought I’d make a post about my thoughts so far. (I wanted to start on August 31 which is dipper and mabel’s birthday but I ended up starting on September 1 instead. watching 1 episode a night and challenging myself to do the credits code each time)

under a cut because this will probably get long:

first of all this show is so funny. not all the jokes hold up but I really enjoy its sense of humor in general

i remember liking the second season better than the first and not just because it’s more overarching plot-driven, I just think the plot is a little more focused and the characters and their relationships are more solidified

I love seeing the development of Stan bonding with the kids over time. I noticed in “carpet diem” (the season 1 body swap episode) he’s commending dipper (who is really Mabel trying to turn him against dipper) for finally standing up to him and the next episode is the best we see them get along all season. it’s nice but still done in a funny/weird way that fits the show’s tone

dipper and mabel are siblings of all time. I love how clearly the show establishes how well they get along and work together and how often they’re goofin around and having fun at the beginning of episodes and how realistic their teasing and bantering and bickering feels…if you hate on mabel you’re wrong btw

i appreciate that the show doesn’t need to bluntly state the lesson we’re supposed to learn at the end of each episode but still has clear themes for each one. i also like when they kind of have a subverted/parodied version of a typical cartoon moral like in the truth teeth segment of “bottomless pit” when the expected lesson of “sometimes a small lie is okay” turns into “sometimes you have to let your uncle lie to the cops so he doesn’t get arrested for regularly committing tax fraud”

that said sometimes i’m a little :/ at the conclusions of certain episodes. I try not to harp on this bc I think part of what drives the more intense discourse about kids’ cartoons is the idea that they have to be teaching good messages to their target audiences, or at least not teach them harmful ones. I don’t think all kids’ shows should be Wholesome and Morally Edifying but sometimes you’re like. oh this is imparting a particular viewpoint I don’t love

anyway I’m just thinking about how “fight fighters” seems like it’s going to be about how physically fighting over petty relationship jealousy is dumb and immature but instead it kinda comes off like dipper has to learn “you have to fight your own battles” which…idk. I could be misinterpreting

then again I just watched “the love god” which tries to raise the interesting dilemma of “is it right/okay to meddle in others’ relationships [using magic or not] if they genuinely end up happier?” but given all the baggage around using love potions in fiction you can tell they had to walk that back a little in journal 3. I don’t think the element of “it actually wears off after a few hours” would have undermined the question too much but whatevs.

(i will say that stan in dreamscaperers saying he's hard on dipper to toughen him up kind of gets questioned later when we see the stans' backstory and it's clear their dad was not actually that great of a guy. room for interpretation there too i guess)

another reason I like season 2 better is because the show is finally done with the dipper/wendy crush plot that really dragged down parts of s1 imo. mostly because it felt like dipper had to learn that a relationship between them wasn’t happening a number of times before the show definitively said it and it lead to some of those dubious episode conclusions.

(whenever people claim that mabel was selfish and dipper always had to sacrifice things for her sake I just think…most of the time what he was “sacrificing” was a chance to impress wendy or spend more time with her, and I feel like this is more a problem with that aspect of the show than anything else)

(ALSO when people say there are too many "mabel's crush of the week" subplots - i never really got that impression? when she's going over her failed summer romances i realized there were only like, 4 episodes up to then where there was a plot about her liking a guy and it didn't feel overdone to me. however that's also why i was disappointed with her part of "northwest manor mystery" because i thought we were done with that. i guess they figured she and pacifica had already had their bonding episode in "the golf war" but i still wish she got to be involved with the main plot in that episode, even if i mostly liked it. kind of felt like the writers couldn't think of anything else for her to do)

anyway back to positive thoughts! I really appreciate the show’s creativity with the supernatural elements especially when they need a way to do a standard fantasy cartoon trope. need to shrink the characters down to miniature size? crystals that change the size of things that get caught in the light they refract! need to do a body swap? how about a carpet that swaps your electrons when you static shock someone? time travel? the time machine is in the form of a tape measure. they can get pretty outside of the box and it’s always cool

i also like the balance of humor and (kid-friendly) horror it engages in. there are a number of moments throughout the show that seem like a sudden intrusion of sheer horror but because of their suddenness and (relative) over-the-top nature they’re also really funny. I’m thinking of dipper opening the convenience store freezer and seeing a horrifying brain monster, the summerween trickster eating a kid, bill cipher summoning “a head that’s always screaming” and its skin peeling off (or like. anything he does in that episode), a lot of moments from the shorts like the island head in “the tooth” or the ending of “lefty”…

this show is i think a lot of people's first experience with a cartoon that has overarching continuity and encourages the viewers to analyze it for clues to the greater plot and i love how it does that. also love how it still works as a show even if you're not actively looking for clues to the mystery. they knew full well how much the fandom was engaging with it and both the show and supplementary material are just chock-full of details that really reward repeat viewings in a way that very few other children's shows do.

i did a pretty good job keeping track of the end credits codes in season 1 but by season 2 i had to just look up on the wiki what the vigènere key words were because i don't have the time to scour the whole episode for those sorry. especially when they get more and more hidden throughout the season. i'm still proud of myself for figuring out how to decode those messages using the grid of all the letters though

i think i first caught up with this show right when "not what he seems" was airing and now that's next up on the schedule. it's a very different experience watching the episodes all in a row and not having to wait at least two weeks between each one lol. on the plus side it gave the fans plenty of time to pick over every episode and theorize like hell

final thoughts: i love that a disney channel kids' cartoon devoted an entire extra-long episode to the surprisingly realistic and sad backstory of the main kid characters' great-uncles, one of whom had mostly been a comedic side character for the first season, and it's fantastic. once i'm done with this i cannot wait to get my hands on the book of bill

[tricotea]

i love yapping about my project planning so here i am. i did knit my first sweater and i'll update about that at some point but rn i just wanna talk plans.....

first one is my good days sweater, completely and 100% inspired by good days by sza one of my fav songs of all time. if i can, i would knit it with wild violet fiber's colorway matcha in whatever base they have enough of and with the matching mohair. tbh i've been looking around at patterns and stuff to decide what pattern i want to follow for this bc i wanna maybe try something new but now that im thinking about it i might just stick with the step by step sweater by florence miller... its what i used to knit my sweater and it's a banger pattern, and like. since it's a construction i already know, i don't feel too crazy about fiddling with gauge and all that and i can just try it on. tbh however. the flaw with this is that i just don't think i would have enough yarn. the main color that i wanna use, the matcha is sold out in almost every base and pretty much gone in the others. like i just don't know if i would have enough yarn. but the design is basically just a regular stockinette sweater with "good days" written on it in colorwork, the color im thinking of is knitpicks stroll in melon and maybe holding it with their mohair in tarragon. although idk about that. it's not gonna happen for a while bc i really don't have that kinda money but maybe once christmas rolls around and i get a few gift cards... lol.

second plan is what i'm calling my iykyk sweater/jacket. originally it was gonna be a sweater but now that i'm thinking about it..... letterman jacket would be so cool. basically so well i'm obsessed with all for the game a book series (check out my reading blog if u wanna know more) and theres this one scene where the mc goes off on another character and it's just kind of iconic. and well i think it would be funny if it was on a sweater. the books about a made up sports team playing a made up sport so i would do it in their school colors white and bright orange. so far i'm leaning towards knitting for olive hokkaido in their merino and one of their whites/creams for consistency. i haven't found any patterns on ravelry that really match what i'm looking for except for one... and it's bottom up. idk how to reverse engineer knits so i might just free ball it from a somewhat similar cardigan and go from there. i think the biggest differences between a regular cardigan and a letterman jacket are the collar, the pockets, and the button band... the pockets would probably be the hardest to figure out... the collar i would just pick up stitches in the certain way i want... and the button band. well idk. i think that should be relatively easy to figure out from yt tutorials. colorwork, i would do the big rant text on the back and maybe honestly im really not sure about this detail but "iykyk" on the front near like the breast pocket area where logos usually go. maybe a little fox paw somewhere. but yeah. it'll be interesting to see if i can actually figure this out. i wish i was somewhere where these yarns were more available so if need be i can just pop over to the store and get more if i run out bc thats some of the biggest hindrances in my executive functioning. i get really nervous about the actual amount of yarn i need and it gives me anxiety if i maybe even have the slightest doubt im not ordering enough. but then also i can't afford to spend that much extra on yarn i realistically dont need lol. oh well. hopefully it will happen someday.

happy knitting !

[abcdosaka]

i feel like this was kinda a long time coming but it definitely feels weird to write it down.

having a weird time trying to, i guess, 'solve' my sex life and kinda by extension love life and reconcile it with having an actual relationship with my family. the hilarious part is the thing that brought this on was me shopping for toys lmao. this post is like half sex half depression.

like i was browsing dildos bc i wanna try to experience penetration for once without clenching up like a vise grip like i wanna try to learn to enjoy it bc ngl im getting a bit of fomo of all the other girlies out there. and also ive never really had the opportunity to kinda explore different things sexually like maybe i was just afraid but now that im basically financially independent its like i want to try. the same way i tried last year but this time i dont feel like there's other people or things holding me back. except there kinda is

anyway the entire time i was thinking like wait isnt this kinda like analogous to a man's penis? yeah no shit but its the realistic ones specifically that get me. i'm like wait i really do not like that. it really shoves in your face that like this is a MALE sex organ (which ya ik gender and sex is not real but for all intents and purposes in this case, it’s male). and its weird its like my brain kinda gets that im a lesbian but there's a disconnect with my body somewhere. like ok i know there's a huge thing about this and its like stepping on a minefield but just for me personally. i never thought i had a strong genital preference specifically like i always thought well, i like boobs and i like pussy and if i'm like watching porn or whatever and a dick pops up im like cool fine that is an object thats not a human. sorry to anyone i dehumanized just now. but its not like i HATE dick i think its alright sometimes even great but is it something i want inside me? idk. not really. especially not face to face with a man its just disturbing idk.

but point is im still kinda mentally in denial somewhere like my brain thinks theres some deep trauma or problem or bias against men that needs to be solved so that i can like men. but ive never been through a trauma like that. and obviously im well aware i am a little sexist like i dont vibe well with men. is that why? like i don't like the idea of having to have a relationship with a man bc i need to feel superior somehow? or maybe not superior but just not inferior. like its just more equal between women. yeah i think thats maybe it. but i feel like thats not just it. i also feel like theres some biologic instinct that turns me off to them. or maybe its nature vs nurture and ive nurtured myself so hard that im like well i can't like men now. the weird part about that is that i'd think it should be the other way around. like how straight incels will be like god i wish i was gay but i can't help being attracted to women. its a question ive been trying to solve for a decade and maybe i already know the answer but idk how to feel solid about it

anyway i saw one that was so cute it was like a bunch of pink hearts but its way too girthy. plus it was like $55 which is just. its probably normal for dildo prices that arent the microplastics shein ones but also like seriously. i might wait for if it goes on sale if i think ill like it after i try a smaller one. ill have to order it next week bc i wanna ship it to the post office so theres no chance my upstairs neighbour would get it by accident. but tbh ive experienced enough embarassing things that when i recall them i dont even get embarassed im just numb so i think if that happened itll just go in the numb pile or maybe funny pile.

now to the kinda sad part. how tf do i tell my family? ive always known that im gonna have to tell them sooner or later and id do it after im financially independent but this is the thing in my way that i was talking about. my family is not perfect or even close at all but idk. they kind of are all i got. yeah i have friends but nobody close enough to call in an emergency or whatever. and i feel a bit bad bc they have actually done a lot for me. like the shit before uni was whatever like thats what you do for family but everything they helped me with during uni, even though i hated it, i did need their help. i guess if i had other people to rely on i wouldn't have. but im a really fucking guarded person like i really dont like trusting people like that. at least with my family i believe they wouldn't screw me over bc of something petty. i moved halfway across the country so i could have the sort of privacy i wanted and seems like my mom knows that but i talked to her today and she was like maybe i could come visit in july and i was like alright i guess. but now im like wait so what happens if i start dating.

i actually really dislike that it seems like everyone in my family, extended and all, all of the sudden wants to hang out all the fucking time.

you know i bet they wouldn't even acknowledge it. in which case im not gonna acknowledge that they aren't acknowledging it. like ill just pretend they accept it. i need to make some queer friends here like actually

or maybe it isn't as big a deal as i think it is. i do live pretty far away. wtf are they gonna do from all the way over there lmao. nobody's gonna kill me over it. worst is i probably get disowned or cut off. or ill have to be the villain and cut them off. thatll be interesting

[miguelmybeloved]

hey!!! I hope you're well!

anyway I really don't have any idea or prompt to ask but.. could you please explain yours AU's a bit more? you got me curious 👁️👁️(maybe later I have and idea but idk)

have a nice day!!❤️✨

hi!! thank you for the kind message !! and sorry it took me so long to respond orz i've been busy...;;

so my AUs are super underdeveloped like they're really only ideas at this point and i *was* planning on developing them more this summer but *looks at the calendar* that kinda went bust... 😬

but i love miguel and i love talking about this so!! thank you for asking about them lol 😆

"REALISTIC" AU

that name doesn't really feel accurate i just literally don't know what else to call it but its my AU where MC is from miami (aka self-insert au ig?? even tho its supposed to be a self-insert anyway?? idk idk) and i just kinda wanted to explore the ramifications of an MC that knows a Miami that's very different from the one that miguel is in, not only bc its the 80s but also the criminal element and also the general areas of miami that i grew up in are very different from where miguel grew up... i also wanted to do HEAVY research about miami in the 80s (maybe i can show off my reading list lol) to get a more "authentic" portrait of the city ??? SO LIKE all that mixed together would kinda end up changing the plot up bc like ofc it'll still be romantic bc im a simp BUT bc im writing like a narrative with other themes and an "OC" and not a romantic visual novel, the elements i'll steal from CMIM are more like the skeleton of the plot and not a scene-for-scene remake, ykwim? so bc of that, i also imagined it shorter and also like a movie script - three-act structure and all that jazz SO!! its an action/adventure/crime/romantic/comedy taking place in 1980s miami!! ALSO U WENT TO SEE A MOVIE AND GOT SUCKED IN SO LIKE i wanted to explore that and the "man out of time" angle that the visnov can't rlly get into bc it can't assume anything about what time period ur from without breaking the self-insert illusion AND ALSO i rlly wanted some ängst re: if this is all real or if everything is gonna end once the "movie's over" ya kno i just love that drama spice of "do u love me bc ur supposed to love me, is any of this ur choice, what will happen when i wake up" and all that jazz 🤭 heehee hoohoo

IT IS MY BABY AND I WISH TO SEE IT COME TO LIFE

ACTOR AU

bc every fandom's got one lmao 😉 its just the perfect way to keep the original story in tact while also keeping characters that you love alive lol (no spoilers but i saw *****'s death coming from a MILE away) so yeah this is just a silly self indulgent AU where everyone lives and CMIM is a movie that miguel stars in and MC is a production assistant that dreams of being big shot director someday or smthg and then oops they fall in love lmao NGL as i was writing this down, i realized this would make a pretty decent "singing in the rain" AU LMAO 😂 its not perfect 1-for-1 but like miguel as don, mc is cathy, ramon is cosmo, stella is lena 🤣🤣🤣🤣 this is too funny to me lmfaoooo i'd prob take insp from singing in the rain as far as plot goes bc i literally had none but still is more of an "actor au" than a "signing in the rain au"

also just realized that the movie they make in the actor AU could be the "movie" im writing for the realistic AU loool 😆

[shinjaeha]

bad buddy ep 8 (thoughts)

so this ep really took us for a ride. i’m still reeling over the end of the ep even though i had a feeling that something like that was going to go down (though maybe not as publicly as what actually happened...). i have so many thoughts and questions...but most of them prob won’t end up being answered until at least next ep.

i think we’ll really have to strap ourselves in for a bumpy ride from hereon in, but FIRST let’s talk about all the things i loved about this ep as usual :)

as fun as last ep was, nothing beats seeing them as ACTUAL boyfriends and the domesticity that comes with that :’) they’re so CUTE i can’t stand them omg. pat making pran breakfast in bed!!!!!!!! i love the little details like the pics/post its on pran’s wall, or their uniforms hanging on the hooks in his room together. the ketchup kiss was so adorable (esp knowing that that was improv on nanon’s part and ohm’s reaction was very real 😂). it’s just so sweet to me that pran can be as playful as he wants with pat now (at least when they’re alone). he’s spent his whole life repressing all these feelings, but now he has the chance to actually indulge and fully be himself around the boy that he’s been in love with for years. you can already see how different he is from previous eps when he was more closed off. he doesn’t have to be like that around pat anymore bc they’ve laid all their cards on the table. they’re BOYFRIENDS now and i’ll never get sick of saying that!!

something i really like about this show is, even though there’s obviously an overarching narrative throughout, it feels episodic bc many of the conflicts they deal with are introduced and resolved in a single episode (and sometimes another conflict is introduced at the end of the ep). like last episode, it was the challenge and who would cave first (resolved at the end when they both become boyfriends). this ep, it’s the struggle of having to keep their secret relationship under wraps, whilst also dealing with their differing personalities and stances within their relationship. this is a fairly common and realistic thing for people in same sex relationships to have to deal with, but it’s obviously more complicated for pat and pran given the situation with their friends and family. as we’ve already seen, pran’s friends and family seem very accepting of whatever he chooses to identify as, so i feel like it’s fair to assume that pran’s as scared as he is to reveal their relationship not bc he likes a guy, but bc that guy is PAT. he’s also experienced firsthand how unaccepting his parents have been about him just being in the same band as pat before (let alone boyfriends) so he has a very valid reason to be as scared as he is.

the hand holding scene is SO sweet bc although pran pulled away initially (and pat was super understanding about it), he couldn’t even bear pat being sad for a moment longer and gave in almost immediately. it’s the little concessions they make for one another that i’m absolutely in love with. just these little things they do to make one another smile bc they know it means a lot to the other.

paa with her arms around the both of them as they held hands behind her back made me weep THEY’RE SO ADORABLE...i’ve watched this scene way too many times to count at this point.

literally this whole rehearsal scene i just felt bad for toto 😂 no idea how he was able to make them get anything done in the end. but also, watching this back, how DIDN’T he know there was something going on with them bc they weren’t even a little bit subtle. just constantly flirting on that stage.

inkpaa!!!!!!!!! i love that paa’s the one always knocking some kind of sense into her brother, but the second she’s with ink she becomes this cute, bumbling mess. and you can tell that ink finds it so endearing. wai though...that’s a no from me :/ it’s so funny to me how ink keeps shooing away all these boys buzzing around paa like their flies...she was NOT here for wai’s interrogation whatsoever.

omg so i full on burst out laughing the moment i heard the sizzy song and saw pat doing the moves in his car (love score has been and always will be a certified BOP). even better when pat starting rapping nanon’s part with the moves bc YOU KNOW that ohm had a great time with that and that pran’s reaction was really just 100% nanon being embarrassed haha.

i was having fun laughing along and then they hit us with whoever it was that saw them in the car...and i will circle back to this again at the end of this post bc i have MANY thoughts about this...

anyway, this is a great ep for us inkpaa stans :) paa continues to be the clumsiest person on earth, but she’s so SOFT around ink. if i were ink, i would be totally enamoured too. interesting how she paid attention to what pat supposedly said about how much paa likes shrimp (and peeling them for her!!!!!)...and their cute little ~moment!! i love them ;;;

i like how the scene right after this is pat and pran’s rooftop dinner date. it’s a great contrast. the rooftop is obviously a special place for them, but i love that this is the first time that we’ve seen them on it when the sun’s still up (now that they’re both awakened to their feelings for each other). it’s lovely, but there’s still that underlying sadness there that they can’t date each other in public (or just hang out in general) the way that pat sees ink and paa doing on their hotpot date. this is clearly something that’s quite difficult for pat esp to deal with since he’s the type of person that WANTS to show off who he’s dating/that he’s taken. i just really love how pran can see how much it affects pat and quickly tries to cheer him up. they’re stuck being a rock and a hard place, but they’re both so understanding of one another as they’re able to see things from the other’s perspective.

pat’s ig posts remind me of how jealous he was when he saw that ig story of pran and wai drunk at the bar together. and even that ig story he just saw of paa with ink. THAT’S what he wants...to be able to post freely about his boyfriend, but he can’t do that. so he settles for these cryptic shots relating to pran bc he needs an outlet of sorts. he’s never been able to suppress his feelings in the same way that pran can bc that’s just not how he deals with things. on the other hand, pran’s just a lot more private in general. and he’s understandably worried that someone might be able to link all these posts to him, so he can’t help but panic on reflex when pat teases him with the kiss (even though logically i’m sure he knows pat would never post something that obvious without his express consent). either way, it broke my heart a little that they’ve been forced into this situation where they have to hide their love like this.

pran trying to make it up to pat with all those little post it notes (and the toilet paper)...MY POOR HEART CAN’T TAKE THIS. pran using his love of smiley faces to make pat smile too!! they really, really just can’t stand to see the other sad at all. honestly, this is the type of cute, domestic relationship stuff that we tend to miss when couples only get together at the end of a drama. i LOVE that we’ve gotten to see their dynamic morph from their playful ‘not friends’ bickering at the start, to them still playfully bickering, but being in an established relationship now. how could you stay sulky after that :’) impossible.

every single one of their friends are so dense it would almost be sad if it didn’t makes it that much easier for them to hide their relationship, i guess 😭

the way we go from pat being sulky to pran being sulky though. but you can already see how the conflict will start ramping up more and more from here as pran gets more paranoid about pat’s posts (esp as they get more daring). that being said, it’s so endearing to see the different methods the both of them use to cheer the other up. they hate seeing each other sad, and they can’t stay mad at each other for very long either.

the line reading back hug scene though!!!!! no matter how many times i’ve seen it, i can never stop smiling during it. it’s just so damn adorable. poor pran squirming in pat’s arms as he reads his lines ahhh...again, how could you stay sulky after that...there’s just no way. also, the behind the scenes for this particular scene was so CUTE...nanon was really going through it omg 😂

it’s so weird to me how obsessed wai is with paa when he literally only talked to her like that ONE time they bumped into each other (and almost fought her before he saw her)?? and then wanting to fight pat when he thought paa was his girlfriend?? this boy doesn’t need a love interest, he needs anger management classes...

not how wai called pran dramatic in ep 6 when HE’S being as dramatic as he is. pran using wai/paa for his monologue on why his relationship with pat is so exhausting bc of all the hiding :((( pran tends to do this a lot. confide in his friends SOME of his feelings (without them really realising), but never telling them the whole truth. pat is the only person he ever tells everything to, but pat is also the one who’s the most patient and perceptive of pran’s feelings when he’s not saying what he means.

i have more to say about wai’s involvement in all this, but i’ll leave that until the end...

pat’s argument with his dad absolutely broke my heart. pat is such an interesting character to me bc on the surface he seems easygoing and carefree. he’s honest and wears his heart on his sleeve. but there’s also a lot more bubbling under the surface with him. and we’ve gotten to see more and more of this with each new ep.

originally, i thought that pat had more freedom than pran (even pran mentioned that pat’s family was more ‘flexible’ than his own), but i think i might have been wrong on that front. pat SEEMS like he has more freedom than pran, but it’s bc he’s always followed the path that his dad has set for him. his dad is constantly talking about his own reputation and how he needs pat to uphold it, and so far, that’s what pat’s been doing. up until this point he’s been the ‘perfect son’. he’s always been involved in the things that his dad WANTS him to be involved in and has been rewarded for it (eg. the drum set, the car). he’s living out his dad’s dreams. but by participating in the architecture play, he’s deviating off this set path that’s been laid out for him by his dad. i hate parents like this. they want to live vicariously through their children instead of acknowledging that their children are their own individual people with their own interests and wants in life.

it’s interesting when he says that he doesn’t intervene in pat’s life much when truthfully he does seem to be keeping pretty close tabs on what his son has been doing. in ep 2, he goes to pat’s dorm and pokes around his room, then tells pat that one of pat’s professors was his senior in school. he’s there during the bus stop opening, and again when pat was talking to pran’s mum. and now he knows about pat skipping rugby practice. all of this could just be him being a supportive parent, sure, but looking at if from this context...it does feel a lot more controlling than it appears on the surface. esp given how his father’s acting towards him now just bc pat is in a university PLAY. maybe he skipped some rugby practices, but he’s STILL on the team. he’s still doing what his father wants of him...only he’s doing something else HE wants on top of that.

i think what really gets to me is just how torn up pat is about disappointing his father like this. he very clearly looks up to and respects his father a lot, and he SO wants his father to be proud of him :( like he couldn’t even outright say that he didn’t want to play rugby last ep...he just kept saying he was too lazy, even when paa pressed him on why he was going for tryouts when he didn’t even want to play anymore. he’s followed his dad’s footsteps for so long, that now that he’s taken his own steps, his dad has intervened in a way that he’s never outright done before...and it’s really shaken pat. i get the feeling that pat might never have realised just how much he needed his father’s approval until this moment (since his priorities have always aligned with what was expected of him by his dad). this is the first time that this hasn’t been the case, which explains why it’s so crushing for him. he feels like he’s letting his dad down for the first time in his life. i just want to hug him :(((

i feel like this scene also lays the groundwork for how pat’s dad is going to react once he finds out about pat and pran’s relationship (esp if he’s already blowing up at pat for being in a PLAY). it’s not boding well for them...but i think we all knew that :/

OF COURSE the first person he thinks of calling is pran...he’s the only person in the world that can give him the comfort he needs. the only person that will understand. i read another post somewhere that basically said that the love that pat and pran’s friends and family have for each of them come with conditions/expectations, but the love they have for each other is unconditional bc they love each other for who they actually ARE and not what they expect from each other, and i just thought that was so beautiful and true ;;; they’re each other’s safe zones.

something i adore about this scene is how pat always come across as super confident and sure of himself, but when he calls pran up and hears that he’s out drinking, he seems to get kind of insecure in that moment. like he doesn’t want to burden pran with his problems/feelings (esp when he’s out having a good time). this is a pretty relatable feeling to have when you’re in a new relationship too. you just don’t want to come across as too much so you end up keeping things to yourself. i just like seeing this more vulnerable side of pat. that he’s not always confident all of the time.

but i also love that pran just knew something was up from the tone of pat’s voice and rushed back home to comfort him. this was actually my fave thing about this whole ep. in previous eps, it was mostly pat that was the one to come over and comfort/cheer pran up...we see so much of pran doing this for pat this ep, and it makes their relationship feel much more balanced and reciprocal.

pran presses a little bit bc he knows that pat’s upset about something, and pat folds immediately which is just so in line with his personality. he can try, but he’s just not the type to hold his emotions in like that. he’s way too communicative, and never wants things to be lost in translation. it’s so consistent with his character and what he previously said in ep 6 (”if you don’t say it, how will i figure it out? how can i possibly understand you?”).

THE BALCONY SCENE!!!!!!!!!! i. can’t. stop. smiling. pran being all cute and trying to make pat happy just shows how comfortable and stable he feels in their relationship now (he would never have done this before they became official). he just wants to make pat feel how pat makes HIM feel...wants to make him smile too. it’s always been really evident how much pat loves pran bc he’s not subtle about it at all. he conveys so much of his love in grand gestures. pran might be more quiet about it, but things like this really prove how much pran loves pat too. it’s just so cute seeing pran be silly and playful in order to make pat laugh. they’re both so madly in love with each other. i’m glad that pat gets to sniff pran’s shirt as much as he wants now too :’)

this is just my head canon, but i feel like pat specifically got pran the earphone bag with their initials on it bc he knows how much pran likes things with the first letter of his name on them (his bag, the giant ‘p’ light in his room)...and idk i just think that’s adorable.

oh god, the montage with kacha’s ost!!!!!!!!!!!! they’re both so gone for one another (and i’m gone for them). at least they gave us a giant slice of happiness before everything came crashing down...

pran’s anxiety about people finding out about their relationship when he heard his classmates talking about it...we knew it was coming bc it’s been building up but still :((( their fight hurt to watch.

i think this drama does a really good job of making us feel for BOTH pat and pran. it’s easy to empathise with either side as both their feelings are absolutely valid, and that’s why it hurts so much. their conflicting feelings in this ep remind me a lot of the ep 5 kiss. since pat’s living in the present, he wants to be loud and proud about the boy he’s in love with, but pran’s paranoid and worried about their future...so he lashes out and panics as soon as he realises that people could potentially be putting the pieces together through pat’s ig that they’re together.

okay but ohm’s acting in the xylophone scene!!!!!!!!! outsold!!!!!!!! gave me goosebumps and everything 😭 i really love that they didn’t use a score here...it was pure xylophone. they just let pat play out the anger he was feeling. art reflecting life. it made this scene so much more effective imo.

pran watching in the audience and thinking back to the history of their entire romance up until this point while pat played...then pat looking up at him with those eyes, so angry, and pran thinking back to what a huge thing it was that pat did for him (taking on the role of riam), making him reflect on how he shouldn’t have blown up at pat like that before walking away. ouch.

and the clarity in pat’s eyes. how he goes from furious to realisation to regret as he remembers the shirt and what it means to him (how much pran means to him). the way the fury in his eyes just dissipates like that as his xylophone playing simmers down to a stop. i just really, really love this scene so much. it says so much without any words at all.

THEIR APOLOGIES TO ONE ANOTHER. they REALLY can’t stay mad at each other for too long ;;; i love that they both knew exactly what they were apologising for, admitted their faults, and just realised that their anger wasn’t worth it in the end. they’re competitive, but they’ve never been too stubborn to admit when they’ve been in the wrong. this is what a loving relationship is. can’t believe pat and pran invented romance AND healthy relationships :’)))

the communication between the two is just soooooo incredibly refreshing and satisfying to see. but the way they compromise with one another is just as important. pat wants to tell the world that he’s taken, but as always, he takes into account pran’s feelings above his own (only posts cryptically, tells pran that he’ll stop posting if it’s what he wants). pran is terrified about anyone finding out about them, but he can also see how much it hurts pat having to keep their relationship a secret...he can see how stifling it is for him, so even though he’s scared...he still takes these baby steps forward (holding pat’s hand, letting him post vague posts alluding to them on ig, the hand holding pic) bc he knows how much that means to pat. they put each other first in so many ways. constantly make an effort to adjust to the needs and wants of the other. genuinely care about and want one another to be happy. if that’s not true love, i don’t know what is.

i also like that while it was pran that needed assurance in previous eps, it’s pat that needed more of it in this ep. i feel like that’s partially the reason he kept posting about them on social media. although pran shows his love in actions (acts of service), he’s not very vocal when it comes to how he feels. i really think pat needed to hear it from pran’s mouth himself, so when he says “just because i’m not telling people doesn’t mean i don’t like you” and admits to being pat’s boyfriend (which he’s never really said properly before), it provides pat with the assurance and security he needs...bc it’s one thing knowing someone loves you/thinks about you in a certain way, but it’s another thing hearing the person that you love say the words out loud like that.

OKAY. so now let’s talk about the big reveal. it was always coming but...it really had to be in the most dramatic and revealing way ever huh.

so there’s a lot of speculation that it was wai that revealed them (possibly turned up the mic on stage/dropped the curtain)...and he does seem like the most likely candidate seeing the way he was overseeing them in the sound booth...like they were just puppets on his stage. he, at the very least, most DEFINITELY heard everything from the look on his face. i know one of the screenwriters tweeted about it too before deleting their tweet. it would also fit with the more villainous trajectory of his character development seeing as how he’s been racking up the red flags for awhile now (and esp since last ep). i’m sure he’s also angry at pran for telling him to give up on paa when pran’s been secretly dating pat this whole time.

what i’m having trouble fitting with the narrative though is, if he really was the one that saw them in the car, does that mean he was acting the entire time he went drinking with pran?? he knew the whole time but was just waiting to reveal it?? i know that wai’s pretty manipulative, but that’s plain diabolical. that’s so much more deliberate (and evil) than if he’d just found out at the theatre and revealed them impulsively...also imo it would have made more sense for him to have confronted pran immediately after seeing him in the car bc that seems more in line with his personality. since he’s the type to act first, think later.

unless he just saw pran get in the car and didn’t know who it was with?? so he went drinking with him to try to figure things out, maybe saw that the phone call pran received wasn’t from his mum, but still wasn’t able to quite pinpoint who pran was being so secretive about until seeing/hearing the two of them in the theatre (and then exposing them in an impulsive fit of anger).

or maybe someone else entirely saw them in the car?? ngl at first i thought korn...like why was he in the theatre in the first place? but then he didn’t seem very sus when they were teasing pat about dating an architecture ‘girl’ so...who knows. i guess we’ll only get answers with ep 9.

either way, what happened to them made my heart stop :( i’m so upset for the both of them that it had to happen like this. and i know their friends are gonna make this REAL hard for them next ep, but i hope they can power through everything together as they’ve been doing so far.

bless ink :’) and i know that the preview has paa looking kind of shady, but i do think she’ll come around. she’s grown up in the same heteronormative environment that pat has...she’s likely never even thought about her brother liking another boy (let alone PRAN) in that way so it might take her some time to adjust. esp given their family histories. and who knows, it might also make her question her own feelings and admiration for ink in more detail...js.

anyway, i do think we’ll get a resolution for the friend drama by the end of ep 9 (since that’ll be their main conflict next ep). they’ll prob have to wrap it up by the end so they can get to the family drama, which is likely going to be a thousand times worse... :/// i’m so worried for them but so invested...here’s hoping we’re all able to get through this storm okay. i just want them to be happy together, that’s it!!!!!

[jostenneil]

what do you think talia’s relationships would be like with linda, selina, jade, and clark? i say them specifically only because i’ve seen you talk about parallels, fix-it ideas, etc. between talia and those characters but feel free to add more!

i think in the post-lex corp era who i would most want to see her forming a close friendship with is clark. there's a lot they can relate to each other on not just through their relationships with bruce but also through the shared experience of being an immigrant and someone alien to a society you'd like to otherwise partake in but aren't sure how to. the fact that talia successfully leads her campaign against lex corp but never makes any friends during the experience really speaks volumes to me about how out of her element she's come to feel bc she's realized her outside connection to the world was primarily through bruce and their adventures together. and talia and clark, despite that alienated experience, are both kind people at heart. so it's not like it's flaws within themselves that prevent them from integrating. they just don't know how to grapple with what their individual responsibilities and place in the world means for their relationships with others and with justice at large, and once they got over their differences and misconceptions of each other, i could really see them bonding with each other over that and perhaps even coming to deeply trust each other bc of that shared experience.

with regards to linda, i said this half in jest on twitter, but i'm honestly really serious in that i totally think linda, lois, and talia could lead a behind the scenes team that tackles reconnaissance and discreet investigation for matters the justice league would otherwise have trouble navigating either bc they're busy dealing with the more immediate consequences of bad guys' chaos or bc their figures are too public to conduct certain aspects of investigation successfully. they're smart, resourceful women, they have extensive experience navigating superhero detective work bc of their adventures with their husbands, and together they have an abundance of resources that could help them in those endeavors. also, i think dc (esp in recent years) has kind of undermined the importance of journalism and how critical its operation would be to taking mastermind supervillains down. exposes are a long-lasting work in process and it makes no sense to me that there isn't a coalition of supers-associated journalists working together behind the scenes to help take down evil corporations and the like (i recognize talia isn't a journalist but she's an investigator for sure and that still counts to me lol) (also if dc had gone about vicki learning bruce's real identity any other way then it would be cool to include her here too)

with selina i think it would be an occasional acquaintance at best with the potential to develop into a friendship in special circumstances. perhaps. . . bruce disappearing. or dying. lolsies. but aside from that scenario i think however their paths crossed they'd be intrigued by each other more than anything. talia by this person who has seized freedom for herself since day one and enacts that freedom out in the strangest way possible and selina by this person who somehow goes through the deepest shit, esp at the hands of bruce, but still manages to be kind. i know talia condescending to selina is funny on a surface level but realistically i don't think she actually would. she's a humanitarian and she'd help people in need at the drop of a hat and i don't think she'd look down on selina for doing what she can about the disadvantaged in gotham's east end. she'd respect her for it and even try to help where she can if their paths happen to cross. and by way of that respect for each other i could definitely see them calling in favors from time to time, maybe gossiping every now and then at bruce's expense, or perhaps about their own traumas and shared sympathy. they'd be like wine moms

[relaxxattack]

(i dont care to do c! tags bc theres. so many characters. if i dont say cc! then im talking abt the characters) normally i am not one to think much about the syndicate bc outside of ranboo being there to protect tubbo the syndicate Frustrates me a bit but. if phil starts to realize just how fucked over tubbo got by schlatt being erased from the narrative (and especially how shittily techno has treated tubbo) then i really hope they lean into like. the fact that the syndicate may soon turn into phil, niki, ranboo, and possibly the mystery member (im including mystery member mostly because i think tubbo is on good terms with almost everyone except like. dream, possibly wilbur but we'll see, and like the eggpire ppl but none of them are likely options but it is possible that the mystery member could just be neutral) all like. wanting tubbo to be safe and phil is *just* reasonable enough that i think he'd realize how unfair it is for tubbo to have been subjected to so much shit just for techno to introduce even more fear and the need to hide in his life

like phil already keeps the bee duo marriage and michael a secret, he lets tubbo come over and while of course its mostly from the semi lore vibes phil seems vaguely fond of tubbo already (i dont think phil and tubbo have father/son vibes tho, more just like. tubbo is just That Kid that adults cant help but adore even though the kid will rob them of house and home. slightly amused elder watching a tiny fucking gremlin make sex jokes and talk about soviet russia), niki from what i remember still cares about tubbo (probably because she cant redirect any anger towards him without realizing how unjustified it would be kcnsks she can come up with excuses for hating tommy but tubbo didnt do anything that niki has a problem with outside of her maybe having a bad view on butcher army if she knows about it?), ranboo is. ranboo. i dont need to clarify. and then like said theres a very low possibility of the fifth member *disliking* tubbo or being unable to sympathize with him.

people talk a lot about how techno needs to lose in a way that he cant easily come back from without introspection and i think while the rest of the syndicate standing up for tubbo would increase technos grudge against tubbo initially its also like. something that i think would maybe force techno to see tubbo as a person because now theres nothing techno can box (haha gettit. tubbox tubbo in a box tubbo getting boxed into certain roles by people who refuse to let him out techno esp doin this teehoo) tubbo into that wouldnt just. acknowledge that tubbo is a person. hes not apart of the government anymore, not planning any failed revolution, the most negative title to his name is being one of the nuke makers but even then thats out of fear and safety and techno knows that. otherwise tubbos current crimes are nothing thats special to tubbo (like. stealing and searching for evidence in ppls homes and stuff, the latter of which techno doesnr even know about). right now tubbos a husband, a father, a friend, a kid, *ex*-government, a person. and just.

i think that with how much foreshadowing about tubbos execution no longer being a secret amongst the witnesses and tubbo himself and soon being something that people close to techno like phil and ranboo know about as well (in that i want phil to learn that techno did it and for ranboo to learn about it in general bc hes just biased enough for tubbo and just smart enough that i think even if somehow he wasnt told who did it he could figure it out), and with the fact that tubbos lore has been confirmed to now be something thats actively going to be played into? i think (or at least hope) that it might spur phil and techno into finally seeing tubbos side of the story (and probably also get into the possibility of tubbo opening up to tommy and ranboo but i do think realistically either tubbo will try to play it off/not truly open up about how much its effected him or tubbo will at first shut down or go into complete repression mode, especially if phil and ranboo get the story from other people rather than tubbo himself [but god do i hope they confront tubbo himself]. either those two or tubbo talks about his emotions through fucking snapping at something/someone like he did at quackity when reminded of his execution, which as long as its Not tommy or ranboo ill absolutely be cheering on him for)

which is all a very convoluted way of saying uhh. *grabby paws at the ccs currently involved in the arc of clearing up personal misconceptions about l'manberg (and especially tubbos involvement and how easily those around him judged him based off of their versions of the story)* tubbo lore? tubbo healing tubbo talking about his problems? characters learning to see him as a person and recognizing how traumatized he is and that hes not uneffected but actively repressing any effects? please? (also ending note as the cherry on top of this essay that im sorry for dropping into your inbox: im kind of glad that tommys healing arc and tubbos possible healing arc are going to happen at similar times but are still separate. something something its nice to see acknowledgement that tommy and tubbo wont heal in the same way and arent going to know how to help each other but theyre still going through it together. their arcs are intertwining without removing their individuality and as someone w major co-dependency issues its kind of nice idk. you can be there for someone and still acknowledge that you have your own things to go through too and that while you wont be alone you shouldnt force those around you to support you. the bench trio are all helping each other out of free will and genuine love for each other while still realizing they have some problems they arent ready to talk about yet that arent forced to the open because theyre all doing their best to handle each other with care and i just. bench trio my beloveds. the kids are alright.) -🎭🎪 (also as the actual end note if theres ever a need to refer to me as something other than the emojis mask or eyez works fine but the idea of my name being the emojis is also Very Funny to me so do what you will)

im working on my aperture camera college assignment rn and my brain is sort of fried so i dont have an intelligent answer, but i got the happy chemical reading this.

yeah. i think we all know here that my favorite character is tubbo, and i REALLY hope we get him addressing anything that’s happened to him in canon. pretty much all of what you said sounds very good. *grabby hands* spare tubbo lore? please? spare tubbo lore?

perhaps during the three weeks wilburs off in the fucking woods (/lh) we could have a the-others-find-out-what-happened-to-tubbo-(and in DETAIL)-arc. pleaseeeeeeeee and ty

[areyougonnabe]

Fic Writer Questions!

tagged by @palamedessextus !!! thank u i love to procrastinate on writing by writing about writing

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

110 on my main account (+ 4 on my sneaky sock for Crimes™ lol)

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

614,551 on my main account which is. hm. a lot

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

obvi the main ones are the terror (50 fics) and good omens (35 fics). beyond that: TMA, the OA, doctor who, LOST, red dwarf, what we do in the shadows, the aubreyad, legends of tomorrow, banished, MCU, bbc ghosts, jeeves & wooster, russian doll, true detective, twin peaks, fleabag, & it's always sunny.

so technically 19, but wow a LOT of those are because i am a fiend for crossovers. (true detective x red dwarf... twin peaks x hannibal... the OA x lost.... russian doll x doctor who...) and many of the others were one-offs for yuletide. i'm pretty monofannish when it comes to writing!

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

lol they're all going to be for good omens... let's see

1. "it's a new craze" - the podcast fic. imho this fic is the definition of "The Claw," a.k.a. the phenomenon that sees some fics plucked out from the fray to become super popular. i'm not denying that it's good! i still think it's pretty clever! but its popularity was probably as much a function of timing as of quality

2. "what a way to make a living" - the uber driver fic. honestly still pretty proud of this one, it flows well and is structurally interesting and genuinely very funny and the perfect length. i had a blast in good omens fandom writing comedic fic, this one

3. "dearly departed" - another one i'm still very happy with. my first ever finished multi-chapter fic & the story that proved to me i could sustain a plot and original characters and also that people would actually enjoy it. so a pretty big deal!

4. "blame it on my juice, baby!" - the fake love potion one. i wrote this fic while delirious with horrible fever cooped up in a tiny council flat airbnb bedroom in london. i think it's still pretty strong although since writing it i've developed a severe aversion to the "meddling friend engineers a get-together" trope in fic & so cringe a bit when i read it back, lmao

5. "greatest hits" - the one with the original songs! the songs are still good.... the fic is ehhhhhhh i guess.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i don't respond to comments on most of my gomens fic anymore because 🤷‍♀️ but i do try to reply to everything i get on my terror fic/smaller fandom stories! my replies are usually very lame but i do like to take the time to thank people for reading.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i usually don't write angsty endings because i'm a weenie BUT the one exception is probably my terror/TMA crossover which cannot be said to end well by any means lol

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

dearly departed has a very lovely ending... i will also plug my OA fic heat rises which is GREAT and has a GREAT ending and nobody read it because nobody watched the OA. i'm fine it's fine

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

as mentioned above, yes, compulsively... award for craziest simply has to go to It's Always Sunny In Another Dimension which is, yes, an IASIP x OA crossover. i apologize for nothing

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not that i can recall, [bubbe voice] tenks gad!!!

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

i do i do.... when i first picked up fic writing again after college i thought smut would forever totally beyond me but after some very kind encouragement from friends i tried my hand at it & was off to the races.

i would not say i am an expert at it by any means but i have a lot of fun with it, & people seem to generally appreciate it, so i will keep going!

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

also no, phew

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, a bunch of my gomens fics have been translated into chinese and russian, which is so so super cool!

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yuh, i had a few legendary cowrites in GO! the slow show metafic with cherry @fremulon and the shitscript crossover extravaganza with hallie @kalelraejepsen !!! both tremendously fun experiences

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

that is a very tough one. if you go by my ao3 bookmarks it's aziraphale/crowley, which might be true still tbh... but i dunno. maybe ten/rose because that shit never leaves you.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

in terms of fic i already started posting, there's my one terror WIP with amnesiac tozer that i swear i WILL finish one day... and same goes for my good omens music & lyrics AU, which i fully expect to pick back up and finish off when i inevitably return to the fandom for series 2.

as far as stuff that never made it out of drafts, i started a hodgson-centric fic a few weeks ago that i got like 4k into before realizing i need to seriously refine my approach. so hopefully after exe fest i will get around to that!

16) What are your writing strengths?

well i am funny. so i've got that going for me. other than that ummmm i don't know. i don't think of myself as a particularly good or strong writer bc i really am just here for a laff. i think i can turn a phrase well and get the most out of imagery; i'm good at coming up with compelling story concepts and weird gimmicks, i guess?

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

i fundamentally don't know or understand how People Actually Act And Feel so i have a hard time getting realistic or interesting reactions and conflicts out of characters. my plots (when my stories have them at all) are very powered by external events, i wouldn't call myself a character-driven writer by any means. for the same reasons i struggle with voice and dialogue beyond superficial signposting via vocabulary/syntax. also, sustaining a long story/finding enough Stuff To Happen to fill it up/having the patience to keep writing... is something i need to work on for sure.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i'm a lame american who only speaks english so honestly i don't really have thoughts!

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

i distinctly remember hand-writing in my notebook two or three pages worth of a story about what happened to the main precog in "minority report" after watching the movie when i was like seven. the first fandom i actually wrote fic for and posted it online was probably doctor who circa 2010 ish? but my warrior cats RP career predates that by a few years and i did a LOT of writing there. oh warriorsforest39 dot proboards dot com you are missed....

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

SEX GHOST AU! SEX GHOST AU!

tagging folks :))) @laissezferre @titleleaf @theburialofstrawberries @girdedheraround @flanneryoconnorfanfiction @wreathedwith if u want!!

[azroazizah]

Would you kindly give us a ranking of the soul eater arcs from 1/10 based on your opinions?

Ooooookay I’ll say first that I’m extremely picky wwwwww but here we go:

Prologues Arc : 6/10. I give this high ranking despite its messiness bc they’re the episodes that set the whole vibe. The ones that enchanted people to follow the series ✨ also kudos to Bones for cutting all the yucky bits out of the anime

Remedial Lessons Arc : 6/10. Also high bc this is the bit where I first see Soul’s fierce protective side. Loyalty always got me weak 🔥 Again kudos to Bones for cutting out Ohkubo’s gross jokes.

Demon Sword Arc : 8/10. Shit’s happening dude! Nuff said.

Uncanny Sword Arct : 9/10. Tsubaki’s characterization was... astounding. The analogy of Tsubaki as camellia flower?? 10/10. We could see how deep, complex, sad, and grey her character were. Absolutely interesting. I have no objection with this arc.

The Experiment Arc : 6/10. I like it bc it’s the first time we see Maka’s internal issues.

Black Dragon Arc : 3/10. Funny, but not interesting for me. And I personally find the Flying Dutchman more annoying than Excalibur.

A Fight to the Death at the Anniversary Celebration Arc : 8/10. Daaaaaamn the first actual creepy thing happening. True Shit™️. Stein/Spirit vs Medusa is one of my fave fights here, I love how they gave absolutely no fuck 👌

Trial Enrollment Arc : 5/10. If Arachne and Giriko weren’t introduced, I would give this arc 2/10. Apparently, this supposed to be Crona’s ‘redemption arc’ or whatever, but it failed its purpose. You just can’t bring a former enemy who had nearly killed two of your students into your school without proper surveillance. Especially when you know they’re dangerous and unstable. Showering them with unconditional love and support is not the realistic way to turn a former antagonist into the good side. it’s lazy writing.

The Bodyguard Arc : 5/10. I like it bc we got to see Star’s brotherly side and how he was slowly spiraling down into restlessness and hunger of power

Reunion Express Arc : 4/10. Another failed attempt at redemption, I was like... meh... when I saw Crona betray Shibusen, bc honestly they hadn’t even gotten a proper redemption in the first place. Plus there’s Flying Dutchman again.The thing that salvaged this arc for me was Star’s inner struggle and the start of the madness.

"BREW" - The Tempest Arc : 5/10. idk if it’s just me, but I’m not that into the whole BREW thing, honestly. The glimpses of the past were certainly interesting, but it’s just not that appealing to me. maybe bc I’ve never actually get what the hell BREW was and just heard the characters comment on its magnificent power over and over again without giving an actual explanation of why it was so powerful. But hey, we got more B Team screentime and Soul’s first time playing his soul piano!

Internal Investigation Arc : 5/10. I wish we get more of BJ. For his and Marie’s story to end like that was just.... sad. And again, I love Star’s descent to madness and how Kid managed to--literally--punch some senses into him.

The Clown Arc : 10/10. I don’t have any particular objection for this arc. Simply the best. Not only as a SoMa shipper, but also how Blair tagged along with them. Maybe it’s just me, but I think she did that bc she was worried for her kittens. She’s sticking more onto them after the madness ‘changed’ and started to turn into physical threats. Best Mama Kat 👌

Operation Capture Baba Yaga Castle Arc : 8/10. Ok, I love a LOT of things about this arc, especially the ART, GOSH. But I also don’t like a few things, hence no full score. Like how Star killed Mif or how Arachne just... died like that.... that felt like a waste of characters.

Grigori Arc : 5/10. I HAVE A BIG DILEMMA ABOUT THIS ARC OKAY? In one side, I love how SoMa it is and how badass the Spartoi were, but really, how could Ohkubo just abandon the whole concept of Maka’s Anti Demon Wavelength and just replaced it with pretty angel wings I mean COME ON!!! If you want to make Maka the ultimate target wouldn’t it make more sense for her to be hunted because she has a wavelength that could outright PURIFY the madness instead of her ‘perception skills’??? A skill that was shared by MANY other meisters???? If she has the strongest ADW she would naturally be the ultimate weapon to defeat the kishin oH COME ON THAT IS A VERY PROMISING CONCEPT WHY WOULD YOU GIVE IT TO HER IN THE FIRST PLACE IF YOU’RE NOT GONNA FCKING COMMIT TO IT, OHKUBO??? This is probably the arc that frustrates me the most.

The Witch's Research Arc : 8/10. LOVE how Star got batshit crazy on Crona. THAT was a proper reaction when you see a person who had betrayed your best friend despite having been given the utmost kindness. also KILIK AND THE THOMPSONS FCK YEAH 🔥🔥🔥

Business Lunch Arc : 2/10. I hate how they treated Marie. This arc was very sexist and had a very poor taste on jokes. Also everyone was a horrible adult for partying when a child was in the enemy’s hands. The only uplifting thing about this arc for me was this...

Salvage Arc : 8/10. I also have a big dilemma about this one...... I love it. As in LOVE it. It’s SoMa’s Holy Grail. But... again... I can’t give it perfect score. The tasteless sexist jokes.... and how they just brushed the THOMPSON SISTERS ASIDE????? I understand that Ohkubo wanted Star vs Kid, but that’s just not how you do it, man... They’re Kid’s weapons! Partners! They were dying to see him! They SHOULD GO FERAL TO SAVE HIM!!

Mad Blood Arc : 9/10. THIS. SOUL’S FCKIN GROWTH. MY BABY. ALL GROWN UP. AND HE DID IT BY HIMSELF! My side note for this arc is I wished it was where Star or their other’s friends to snap and slap the actual severity of Soul’s condition to Maka. I wanted it to be her turning point on how to see around her more clearly, that there’s people, not just strangers in another country, but also HER PARTNER, who were suffering because of Crona’s descent to madness.

Hunt Arc : 4/10. I.... don’t like that the kids just blindly follow Maka around without question. That’s just.... urgh... not healthy

War on the Moon Arc [the whole of it]: 7/10. Sooooo many things were happening, I love a lot of things, but also dislikes a lot of things. I DEMAND A DEEPER SPIRIT/MAKA SCENE, ALSO A SPIRIT/SOUL SCENE BEFORE SPIRIT WENT TO THE MOON! FAMILYYYYYYYY!!!!

Dark Side of the Moon Arc : Hrrnggghhhh do I have to rate thissss ghfjjhg.... ok 7/10. THIS IS THE ARC WITH THE BIGGEST DILEMMA! I’VE NEVER SEEN AN ENDING SO PERFECT YET SO FLAWED I AM STILL ANGRY!!!! I ALSO DEMAND A PROPER ALBARN FAMILY REUNION DAMMIT!!!!

Hrrrrgh.... that’s it I guess.... thank you for asking wwwww

[ectonurites]

for the character headcannons ask game, jason and cass?

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT im putting this one under a cut because it got SUPER long bc i cant shut up ever

lets start w jason

A (realistic headcanon): 

ok using the ‘realistic’ category here loosely but GOD i love the idea of Damian & Jason having interacted while Jason was staying with the League before getting dunked in the Lazarus Pit. like. this obviously would need to be set more in preboot and following the Lost Days & Batman Annual 25 version of Jason’s resurrection, but god the idea of it just makes me scream in a good way. Like... these are things Jason likely doesn’t remember very clearly once he’s brought back to life more fully by the pit because he was uh pretty catatonic, but Damian being a little kid and knowing about the boy that his mother keeps around the base, that she’s trying to help bring back to health. Damian not even knowing that’s his big brother, just that he’s a presence that shares his mother’s attention. Jason again being unresponsive but like, ok god you know that part of lost days where Talia shows the others observing him that he only fights back at those he perceives as genuine threats trying to hurt him, 

Because Jason can perceive that she’s safe, she’s not actually trying to hurt him, he trusts her because she saved him? thinking about lil child Damian who is ya know already being trained in fighting stuff and like the idea of him trying to provoke Jason just to see what happens but Jason not fighting back because on some level be it his connection to Talia or even little baby Damian visually reminding him of Bruce, he knows that Damian is safe too 🥺 

and then when Jason and Damian meet again in Gotham as Red Hood & Robin respectively, Jason not really remembering because there was so much going on back then for him, but Damian realizing that oh... that was Him

B (hilarious): 

alright so if we are looking at comics currently, in modern stuff jason is what, like 22? hes old enough to drink in the US but still definitely early 20s so around my around my age, thats what im using as a basis here. if we adjust timeline and still consider his death having happened when he was 15, that puts it around 2013. and then coming back to like interacting with people about three years later if we still kinda base things off of the preboot timeframe (since we never got a super solid retelling of the timeline of death -> resurrection -> training -> tries to get revenge aside from knowing he went to the all-caste instead of the lost days version of the story) making him reenter the regular world and stuff around age 18 in 2016. meaning a solid three years of pop culture that he was entirely missing, and like im sorry but he really doesn’t strike me as the type to bother looking into what he missed, he’s kinda busy focusing on other stuff. lets take a quick look at some major things from those years. 2013 gave us ‘what does the fox say’ and ‘the harlem shake’ . 2014 had that time U2 just put a fuckin album on everyone’s phones, The Fault In Our Stars movie came out. 2015 introduced the phrase ‘Netflix and Chill’ and the whole blue & black vs gold & white dress debate happened. imagine any of the other batkids (or even arguably roy during rhato stuff) bringing these things up and jason’s ensuing confusion. thank you for your time

C (heart-crushing): 

so. there are two specific instances from rebirth era Jason i want to bring up here and much like a lot of these it’s less a headcanon and more of an inference based on observations, but i wanna take a sec to discuss Jason’s relationship with other people’s death. early in rebirth, Tim ‘dies’ from that whole thing in detective comics. he didn’t actually die, we as readers know, but in-universe they all very much so thought he was dead. frustratingly a lot of the batfam wasn’t really shown mourning him aside from in the Detective Comics Rebirth title itself (which just. when a major character dies even if its temporary- that should have a ripple effect) BUT an exception to that is in RHATO 2016, where we get this offhanded comment in Jason’s internal monologuing

similarly later when Roy, who like, had an incredibly close relationship w Jason that had just gotten mended before Heroes in Crisis, gets fuckin murdered in that whole thing... Jason doesn’t go to his funeral either. He leaves a dramatic voice mail and then visits the grave on his own later, choosing to instead keep working on the mission they’d started rather than going and taking the time to mourn properly.

Jason’s relationship with death is incredibly complicated, obviously. He has died, he has come back, and he now is willing to cross the line most other bats won’t and will kill people when he deems it necessary. I think thats something important though- he doesn’t just like... go around killing for fun (usually, some writers preboot made him a little murder happy but even then usually this still was vaguely followed) he kills people he thinks deserved it. Like, even looking back at the mess of Morrison’s Jason during Batman & Robin 2009, Jason was still trying to bring a sense of justice with who he was killing (”punishment that fits the crime”), it wasn’t killing for the sake of killing. He sees things in this kind of almost black and white ‘people who deserve it’ and ‘people who don’t’ way, and he has no problem dealing with death when it’s with the people he thinks deserve it. 

but when someone who doesn’t in his mind ‘deserve it’ gets killed? i think he just goes into total avoidance mode. throws himself into other things he’s doing, tries not to dwell on it too much no matter how much he still thinks about it (this is especially evident in him consistently telling people “i’m fine!” after what happened to Roy, despite bringing Roy up literally like every few issues for a WHILE after he died and very clearly still struggling with it, Artemis is the only one who gets through to him on it a little bit) 

but yeah, I just think that from Jason’s relatively unique situation of having been murdered, he knows what it’s like and he is perfectly fine wishing that on people he thinks are bad and deserve it, but it crushes him to imagine the people he loves and cares about having to experience something as painful as what he went through. not to mention the whole “I came back, why do I get a second chance at all this when they, who are a much better person than I am, probably won’t” mindset we get some implications of him having 

D (canon is a coward and won’t) 

hello DC i am once again insisting a batfam member is bisexual

CASS TIME

A (realistic headcanon): 

ok so we know cass likes ballet. thats canon. however i think we also should in general explore cass experiencing other types of dance/performance as well, be it herself as a performer or even just watching. like... god imagine her & like my brain just automatically for group activities puts her with tim steph and duke but also for this in particular I feel would be a Jason embraced activity, but like them going to see a broadway show or some other professional theatre or something, and her just being enthralled by the reading of body language of the performers! like again by any point in current stuff cass does have like, the ability to speak fine (reading still hard tho) but even so I think like. okay im a theatre kid if that’s not obvious from the Everything About Me but one thing I always do after seeing a show is ya know spend dinner afterwards discussing it with whoever i saw it with.

I just think that like, bringing those people i just mentioned to the table to discuss seeing a show after would be so FASCINATING because cass would bring this whole perspective of critiquing their acting on a whole different level- not based on how well they delivered lines out loud, but by what their body language was saying as they moved on stage. like im very amused by the idea of cass getting a totally different picture in her mind about what a character’s motivations were because she was paying way more attention to what their physicality was saying vs the words that were written and how they were delivered. i think the debates her and the others would have would be EPIC there. jason defending the text as it was written adamantly and cass being like ‘ok yeah sure but thats not what they did’

B (hilarious): 

cass having no concept of money because why would she bother? is SO funny to me. like it’s not that she couldn’t be reasonable if she wanted to, but like, she knows that the Waynes are well off so it’s not something she actually needs to be concerned about, so she just goes hog wild. takes steph out to fancy dinners and makes steph order for them since cass ya know doesn’t really read the menus, and steph’s like ‘jesus christ this costs-” “don’t worry about it” “but cass-” and she just holds up one of bruce’s credit cards and steph’s still like “but you don’t even know the range-” “it is fine”

bruce does not have the heart to tell her to stop

C (heart-crushing): 

i mean this is pretty much canon but especially now after death metal where she’s remembering, not just being told by a guy using weird alternate timeline technology, that she used to be an adopted member of the Wayne family... like that hurts so bad. To look at these people who have ya know been kind to her, Bruce has still been a father-like figure to her (i mean literally from the moment they met in New 52 canon during the flashback in Batman & Robin Eternal, where he’s telling her that she’s not a monster just because of what people forced her to do.... that she’s a hero... that hug.... dad behavior), and they do to some extent treat her as family... But to then really know, to feel and remember that she was actually adopted! She was a part of their family. To look at how she’s been calling herself Orphan while working with them this whole time... that’s so heartbreaking! I have cried about this idea so much! I want so badly a conversation between her and Bruce now where he offers to officially adopt her again, I need it so bad and if it doesn’t happen at some point in the next year or two I will be so distraught.

D (canon is a coward and won’t) 

i want an in-depth exploration of cass’ relationship to her own gender. being raised without language and you know with so much of her life being independent (remember: CASS RAN AWAY AROUND THE WORLD WITHOUT REALLY KNOWING ANY SPOKEN LANGUAGE) and outside of an organized society impressing too much of gender expectations on her, i feel like the way she experiences it would be very unique! like sure she’s so far been fine with being assigned ‘girl’ (ya know that comes with batgirl, and how people just automatically treated her based on how she looks) but in terms of gender expression and like her actual relationship with ‘traditional femininity’ etc like... because of how she was raised I just think she’d have a really different perspective on it that could be cool to explore, and I think she’d fall outside of the binary after she really thinks about how she identifies.

tldr on that: she/they nb cass is what i’m getting at here

[acircusfullofdemons]

Follow up question <3 tell us about the Pastas.

- @maddgicalgirl

@maddgicalgirl So. :>

Wait b4 I get into that, idk how familiar you are with creepypasta (im assuming at least a little bit bc you asked this lol) but just to be safe: Creepypastas are internet horror stories, they're (imo) usually pretty sucky bc they're all written by 12yos, but whatever the fandom never sticks with Canon anyway. There's also the SlenderMansion AU (very popular, you've probably seen fanart of it) where the pastas all live together. Whos there depends in the person i guess? So for me its: Tim/Masky, Brian/Hoodie, Slender, Toby, Ben, Jeff, EJ, Jane, LJ, Smile Dog, Sally, and my parame Simon. Sometimes Jason & Slender's brothers are there, too.

I mostly daydream about Tim/Masky being my dad. and also Brian/Hoodie, being my other dad. They are Married <3

Tim is your typical tired dad, I guess? Him & Brian work for Slender with Toby (who've they also mentally adopted as their son/brother). Brian worries about everyone (he has anxiety) and is generally a mother hen ngl. Since I also mentioned Toby here (+ I want all the proxies together), he's a chaotic lil shithead but knows when to pull it together for serious situations. A more realistic version of the popular fanon, I guess.

If Tim is a Tired Dad then Slender is a Tired Grandpa <3 /j. He's the one that actually runs things & makes sure the pastas don't murder each other, especially Jeff & Jane. Its also hard to tell if he genuinely cares about the pastas or not - an elderitch being with no face is pretty good at hiding its true emotions, shocker ‐ but he does tolerate them living in his house, so. Probably? He secretly wants to be a dad let him have this.

Jeff.....has actually chilled out. Like. A Lot. I'm still toying with the idea of if he murdered his older brother, Liu, yet. Because if he didn't, then Liu would be a detective; but if he did, then Simon (my parame) would be able to see Liu (they're the para i mentioned that can see ghosts) & fix their relationship so Liu can move on. ANYWAY, personality-wise, he's still an ass but now its like. A Funny Asshole. Probably bc he spends to much time with LJ. He's also the primary caretaker of Smile Dog (he's a "family dog", but also Jeff's Dog, u know?).

Jane has also chilled out. In the sense that she isn't trying to murder Jeff on sight anymore. After some talking (and encouragement from Slender), they've decided to call it a truce (?) and more or less ignore each others existence unless necessary. It works surprisingly well.

Here's a post that kind of explains the gaming pastas ("Glitches" as they're called here), including Ben.

Sally is. just a lil 8yo baby we love her <3. She's also the only child living at the mansion & kind of likes it that way. She likes being the only Baby so all the attention is on her 💖

EJ is the mansions doctor! He was turned into a Demon before finishing med school, but Slender has plenty of medical books and its EJ's Special Inerest (listen....idc at this point. they all have adhd and/or autism. fight me) so he learned everything pretty quickly, which is good because its. a bunch of murders living together. What do you think happens daily.

I don't daydream about LJ that much idk why I listed him but yeah he's There he Does Things.

I'd talk about Simon but I've gone on long enough, that's like. a whole other post lmao.

[your-turn-to-role]

hi okay i hate sending asks to people without knowing them but you seem kind so im trying: during the break, i’ve been working my way through VM, and i’m at episode 75. my question, because i’ve read some of your more recent meta, is “what’s Percy’s deal?” i know he’s loved by the fandom, but i can’t find myself relating to him, and i find his assertions that he’s the only one with a plan offputting. is there more context you can give to me about percy’s character that explains his motivations?

aww, thank you!

(and yeah, asks like this are totally fine, i totally get that anxiety, good job on sending this!)

i mean, first off, you don't have to like a character everyone else does? if you don't relate to percy you can just, not relate to percy, that's fine

(and to be fair, as much as i love him as a character, i would not want him as a friend, because he's a very flawed person that has a lot to work on, but in fiction those traits are interesting to watch rather than difficult to deal with)

but, percy's deal! the short answer is people generally like him because taliesin's funny and charismatic and he does morally grey right, which is rare and a fun thing to explore (also in his relationships with other people, the entire vex-vax-percy-keyleth square is full of neat parallels and opposites and interesting things and i have whole essays in my head on all six combos there)

i don’t know which posts you’ve read so i’ll link this one here too, just to cover a couple more of the generally unnoticed aspects of his character, and things i like about percy

he’s also far from perfect, as you’ve noted, he does tend to believe he’s the smartest person in any given room, because he’s young and clever and used to being that, which you’re allowed to find off putting, but i will say i find he does that less than a lot of characters of his general archetype? he listens to pike, he listens to keyleth, he listens to vex, he respects when they have more knowledge than him on a particular subject, he’s not above asking for help. and generally most of the arguments he has with keyleth on that subject aren’t him asserting he knows more than her, but more a matter of principles and values (they’re a really interesting pair that way, they have similar backgrounds, both children of royalty running away from the crown, but they’re such opposites. percy is a natural leader who would rather anyone rule than him, keyleth fumbles her way through all of it but sticks to it because she doesn’t want to let anyone down, percy is a pragmatist, keyleth is an idealist, they both are too focused on the big picture but in two completely different ways, i could write a whole other post on this, but to get to my point, they wouldn’t be such good balances for each other if percy didn’t absolutely respect where keyleth is coming from)

for the long answer, i’m gonna break this down into parts and try to get to the core of percy's character and why he is the way he is

(under the cut bc this gets long)

1 - heavy trauma

like... this is the really really big one. percy, at age 17 or 18, had his entire life up to that point completely destroyed. his family was killed, his friends were killed, people he trusted like family (professor anders, who was a more present figure in percy's life than his actual parents) betrayed him and helped the briarwoods, he was imprisoned in his own castle's dungeons and tortured for information, they threw his siblings' bodies in there with him to make a point, cassandra helped him escape but as far as he knew she died helping him. he has two years of his life after that he straight up doesn't remember, his hair turned white from the stress of it. 

trying to go after ripley the first time didn't work, he was captured and left to starve in a prison cell, for the first few months of travelling with vox machina he genuinely believed it wasn't real, because realistically no one was gonna come save him, this was just a hallucination of his dying mind. returning to whitestone he was forced to confront the fact that literally everyone he ever knew growing up (with the sole exception of archibald) was either dead or working with the briarwoods, and even after retaking the city there's a lot that can never be repaired. 

and he's just... never really dealt with any of this? like, he gave vox machina the technical details of what happened to him in the briarwood arc, because they needed to know that information, but the first time he actually started processing his trauma, the first time he admits it out loud to anyone, is the final episode of campaign one. before then it had been occasional snide or handwavey comments, and like, he'll let himself feel the anger over it (in the beginning of the story he encouraged it, because then he didn't have to feel anything else), but he's never processed the grief, never admitted to himself how badly that affected him

which means he's got a lot of pent up emotions in there that he just keeps burying, and sometimes they come out in unhealthy ways. having so much taken from him also makes him really motivated to keep the things he does have - he’s got some deep set abandonment issues and takes any kind of betrayal really badly, don’t know if you’ve got up to the scanlan stuff by the time i post this, but that’s something to keep in mind as to why he acts the way he does there. (and it’s not more explicit because percy was raised nobility, keeping a brave face through anything is part of who he is, he tends to cover emotions he’s insecure about in snark or indifference or, for the intense ones, anger, because those are the things he thinks he’s allowed to show, but the real emotions show up occasionally, when they’re particularly strong, or if you’re reading between the lines. he really does care a lot about vox machina)

2 - legacy and loyalty. 

speaking of nobility, it's hard to do a character study on percy without mentioning whitestone and the house of de rolo. this is the number one thing to percy. he was raised to respect title and name, and most importantly, raised to respect the people he represents - both the townsfolk of whitestone and also percy's ancestors and future de rolo generations. whitestone is more important than any one life, he has a duty to protect and serve it, and that comes before any personal wants he may have. it's also important to him for family reasons - he was a pretty lonely child, but he loved reading about the history of the city, all the weird ghost stories whitestone had even before the briarwoods. it probably made him feel more connected to all of that, this is the place he belongs. and after his family dies, it becomes even more important, because this is his connection to them. the soul of a city lives as long as its people, by protecting what's left, he keeps a little bit of what came before

(and also in just tidbits to understand percy's character, he sees all cities and man-made things the same way - in a world where some races live for centuries or millennia, their history exists mostly by word of mouth, you can physically talk to people who were around 500 years ago and get their take on things - humans don't have that, they get 100 years at most, so the things they build are vital to their heritage. this is how you keep people alive long after they're gone, by honouring what they created. and especially for someone so concerned with legacy and history, percy literally says abandoning westruun would be blasphemy, because the place people grew up is important, yes it's better that they live, but letting the city be abandoned and destroyed would be an irreparable act of violence.) 

this is the number one thing on percy's mind when evaluating anything about himself, where do i come from, and what do i leave behind? which is a question that has a lot of moments to be tested, because of my next point...

3 - pragmatism and terrible thoughts

when it comes down to it, percy is a very ends justify the means kind of person. he finds it very easy to square away any kind of collateral damage as long as it gets him to his end goal. see: trial of the take, where he's fine to catch his friends in the blast radius of a new bomb design because he's so excited that it worked, preparing to fight vorugal and resigning himself to potentially having to kill innocent people to kill the dragon (he wasn’t okay with that, but he would do it), also his conscious decision to let ripley go, knowing she would lead to the deaths of thousands because it was her or the briarwoods and he wanted revenge 

(this is by his own admission his lowest point and worst mistake, because as mentioned, he thinks about the consequences of his actions near constantly, he knew she would reproduce his guns and they would lead to a whole new form of warfare. but in that moment he was just blinded by grief and way too emotionally burnt out and did not have the capacity to care. and he spends the rest of the campaign and honestly probably the rest of his life trying to make up for that one)

he's also, by his own admission, someone who has a lot of bad thoughts he doesn't act on, he's very clever and creative and ideas for ways to use those skills for violence or vengeance come easily to him (like, percy as an actual villain would be ripley but worse, ripley's intelligent but a very direct point a to point b kind of thinker, percy has multiple times criticised her lack of imagination, a percy with her lack of morals would be terrifying)

(honestly this is why i was seeing percy so much in taliesin's narrative telephone, because "sometimes i wake up having dreamed of a terrible thing, and normally i just file that away for things that i would never do, because i wanna maintain friendships, but then LIAM did something to me." and the whole being absolutely fine with throwing the rest of the cast under the bus just to enact revenge on liam was quintessential percy)

but we’ve seen the pragmatic anti hero everywhere, anyone can be a terrible person, and have reasons for it, that alone doesn’t make an interesting character (at least not for me)

what does, is my last point

4 - trying to be good

i still vividly remember when i first watched campaign one, being really surprised at how much percy asked for help? like, i went in expecting the usual full on demon possession storyline, i expected percy to hide how bad it was, i expected him to make poor decisions without realising he was doing it until he was in too deep to back out

and like, he had some of that. but at the first sign of things being out of his control, he asked his friends for help. he let pike greater restoration him. he told vax to kill him if things ever got too out of hand. he was really, genuinely scared about what he got himself into and what he might do because of it. there was never a point where he pretended, even to himself, that making a deal with orthax was okay. the minute he realised there was a demon involved, he was working to stop it. and yeah, by the time he realised it was already a bit too late, there were already some things out of his control (and also taliesin kept having the worst rolls against the whitestone corruption which was really fun on a meta level), which is how things got as bad as they did. but honestly, all things considered, there’s very little to criticise about the way percy handled himself in the briarwood arc. 

and he keeps doing that, trying to get better. he struggles with it, he struggles a lot, against his anger issues, against all the trauma, against the fact that he really doesn’t want to be here and things would be so much easier if he were dead. but he recognises he holds grudges too easily, so he starts actively trying to forgive those who’ve wronged him (this is something he and vex have in common, and something they were working on together before they were together, which probably helped a lot in getting them to that point as well). he recognises he makes poor decisions when he’s angry, so he starts learning to step back in those moments and leave the decisions to someone else. he has never not owned up to his mistakes, he takes responsibility for everything he’s done, and if he notices a problem he can’t solve himself, he asks for help.

and i find that fun to explore. like, percy’s been likened to hamlet in the actual show, and i was the kid who got super obsessed with hamlet when i was like 15 because i was in that same mental space of suicidal self hatred and existential melancholy but also thinking i was the smartest person in any given room and being too young to have gotten over the arrogance that makes you ignore everyone else’s needs for the sake of indulging your own problems. and then i got older and realised there are smarter ways to go about things, like having empathy and appreciating the light in the world and not being a dickhead to people because it makes you feel better, and maybe hamlet can be justified and in the wrong at the same time. and while there’s some stuff i won’t spoil for you, percy after ripley kills him is definitely starting to learn that, which you rarely see in the hamlet archetype, bc everyone’s like “ah yes so Deep so Important who cares what bad things this person did they had Trauma and are Clever”

well, percy cares about the bad things he did, and cares about not doing those anymore. so like, he’s still a disaster of a person bc he’s like 23 and no one has their life together at 23, especially not someone in percy’s situation, and honestly i find that fun to watch as well bc i like watching characters make stupid mistakes and do stuff i’d never approve of in real life, and as i mentioned at the start, taliesin makes captivating and funny characters. but yeah, that’s generally where percy’s at, most of the time

[jewlwpet]

Ignoring... all that... (spoilers up to chapter 123 of Gakuen Alice/Alice Academy)

Mikan left Hotaru, but it was to be with her mother, not a boy, so that's fine with me.

Sad as it is, it's also kind of funny bc Ruka had just given this speech about how Mikan should be with Natsume because he "needs her the most," but then she decided not to be with him anyway (at least for now).

In the relationship chart that occurs in each chapter, Mikan & Natsume's relationship has changed from "Some kind of interest?" to "mutual love/like (suki)." Well, Natsume definitely loves her romantically and the implication of 同士 is certainly that she loves him in the same way, but... I don't really see it tbh. Clearly she does love him now, but the scenes that were meant to be read as attraction always came off more to me as anxiety about how his feelings would affect their friendship.

...granted, there's a lot left of the book, so I doubt I'll be able to cling to that delusion for very long. But like I said before, she's still clearly been established as sapphic regardless of what happens.

The twist that the Elementary School Principal's clone was running the main resistance org was a relief, bc it's clearly not being portrayed as morally good and this is the most realistic way to justify such a portrayal.

This combination of excellent writing and horrible writing is exhausting. It's like reliving Glass Mask. I don't think it's as bad as Glass Mask, or even, objectively, as bad as Cardcaptor Sakura at its worst, but that time travel portion came close to Glass Mask's level of badness.

[dem-khuya]

drama recommendations

just a yes/no thing. i’ll probably add to this as it goes on. im scared of ppl finding this post and getting angry (that used to happen a lot on twitter) but honestly this is jus my opinion and it’s based on A) treatment of and development of female leads + B) whether or not the writing is interesting. i am not really forgiving of a lot of cdrama tropes so do factor that in.

the bad kids 2020: yes wholeheartedly yes please watch it right now actually. the best drama i’ve seen by far advisor’s alliance 2017: yes 100% it’s three kingdoms centered but focused mostly in wei kingdom. portrays cao cao as problematic but incredibly progressive. the women in this show are written with so much respect and dignity. i think it also becomes liquid misery-ish (sowwy i’m still finishing this up <3) but if you’re familiar with three kingdoms it’s probably not a surprise. legend of fuyao 2018: recommended if you want to turn your brain off. the acting is actually pretty good, writing leaves a lot to be desired. kind of a reverse harem. very heterosexual. also kinda horny. mostly no killer and healer 2021: first half is good. but...stop at episode 19. writing feels strong at first but it weakens gradually to match its production value (very low budget). overall not really go ahead 2020: i want to, bc of the familial themes (which are very strong and so realistically well written) but literally its SO incesty and weird that i just can’t. i didn’t even watch it all the way through. song weilong could not save this one the longest day in chang’an 2019: watch for production value and development of the main female lead + worldbuilding + attention to history. lots of blood, gore, and misery, so i would recommend watching it detachedly, and with some lower expectations for the writing side.  nirvana in fire 2 2014: really good but it is liquid misery. yes. i think the storyline rivals and even to some extent surpasses the first one winter begonia 2019: if you liked farewell my concubine you’ll like this. it shares most of farewell my concubine’s flaws, specifically being liquid misery to the point that it feels comedic. cinematography is good, writing is questionable, don’t hold fast to any female leads cuz they’ll either be written off or written to turn into a bitch. the actors are incredible. can you imagine how unbearable this show would have been without qin zheng and huang xiaoming? anyway i guess it’s...fine but i liked the first half of killer healer more than most of winter begonia. find yourself 2020: i haven’t finished this but it’s kinda stupid and funny. very questionable premise though. doesn’t really handle its serious themes very seriously, and song weilong kinda carries the whole show on his shoulders. if you’re bored...sure

stuff i want to watch later is probably word of honor (just to say i’ve seen it), miss truth, miss S, and any show that has ju jingyi in a main role bc she’s beautiful ;_; 

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 30, 2019 // larkspur lane/the whisper box

this post is a double whammy cause they have 2 eps happen in the same day if u can believe it (thats how awful judging timelines in this show is!!)

-"hi josh..." LMAOOOOOOO

-BESS just breaking in lmaooo how many god damn times does bess just shit the bed in this show

-LOVE her frowny face at nancys closet ("my expectations are low" lmfaoooo but this would totally be me)

-"bet she meant it metaphorically" okayyy but then why did lucy say that at all? i feel like theres defo more to this story, combined with josh's cagey behavior (part of which is to get nancy to stop looking into shit d/t him and karen but still)

-"they dont accept visitors unless they're family" .....🙂

-ace "youre really good at that" to bess i fuckin love this friendship with all my heart (also love their talk at the claw mirroring nick & nancys talk in the last ep)

-also PINK AND ORANGE BESS ARE U BLIND (also 1) why tf would nancy own this and 2) where would she wear it??)

-okay wtf is vampire dip

-"boss??" see this is what i meant yesterday about nancy ruining everything for nick/george

-god DAMN she sucks at dealing with this news lmaooo that emotional competency babey + love george literally agrees to help bc she feels bad (AND nicks immediate look of "you just reprimanded me for helping her last ep and i know why youre doing this rn" lmaoooo)

-LOVE george noticing nick "shout out to jean valjean" lmaooo once again nancy would never have noticed/commented on something like that

-"get the hell out of here" was this foreshadowing for an epic dad joke for these two eps? "how do you make holy water? you boil the hell out of it" 😂😂😂😂

-so what i dont get about the whole haunting is the ball + kids' laughter but its all the emphasis on "mr roper" the adult? wtf like what kind of entity is this

-"how did you ever have a solo career??" 😂

-okay amaya's hair is gorgeous here (also "you feel like a snack" ....👀) *ahhh so the reason bess feels so off balance is bc its like a top vs a top scenario

-has anyone who's ever been to prison confirmed this is what it looks like?

-love how ace is the only employee there when they all leave so he had to fucking close the place when he goes

-why does she take the whole file? time constraints? it'd be smarter to take pics + replace it (better sleuthing) but this place is clearly not well run anyway 😂

-so this is a pretty decent cover she invents but theres no way she would get away with it so easily for a real guard

-love how ace recognizes ryan's car (+ is able to find it by driving around)

-"my father wouldnt do anything like that" LMFAOOOOOO SIS WHY ARE U DEFENDING HIM ironically, ace is actually the best person suited to engage w ryan here d/t the car accident + connection with laura being ryans SIL. its a unique set up

-i am fascinated by the concept of priests + holy water being so effective here combined with mcginnis' beliefs and basically nondenominational ghosts/seances etc after that. the show is very clearly big on diversity but definitely steers clear from too much WASP stuff yk? wonder if other stuff from christianity works against the ghosts/demons like taking refuge in a church "holy ground" or using silver etc

-"did this start after the night of sept 10?" *this is where you get the time line for the seance if you didnt know

-this is so fucking funny when u realize that patient sal talks to is actually a ghost so sal really is psycho i guess 😂

-bitchsplain/tall jar of mayonnaise 🙏🏻😌 2gether 4ever

-how did ace get this van? also heart attack when he yells at carson (but then grins at him like a goofball lmaooo)

-"for nancys sake and yours" damn she owes ace big time for all this shit

-"what do we do for 7 minutes?" ...ummm play 7 minutes in heaven lmaooo 👀🥵

-was not expecting ace to look this sexy holding an axe but okay (*ah, its his short sleeve shirt showing his arms. usually hes a sleeves guy)

-"desperate for attention" nancy (from gomber) vs "bc she's starved for attention" patrice --> lucy (and candace also...) we know nancys detective work makes her seem like an attention seeker, but what was lucy doing to make them all think that? she was trying to hide her relationship with ryan, not expose it. unless they just mean the rumors about her?

-so is patrice hiding lucy's "truth" talking about lucy being a whore or lucy being a ghost? what is lucy's secret? did patrice guess she was pregnant or did patrice's somehow garbled mind remember tiffany trying to show patrice the video with lucy on it?

-wonder what captain thom thinks of this stand off w ace lmaooo

-"like you do?" top v top shenanigans

-how awko for carson to talk to karen again like this

-"oh no" ACE 😂

-love how amaya says "be a human" like shes kind of admitting people in rich circles typically arent (^this is an interesting focus in s2 when bess's rich family rejects her, thus making her human again, but nancy embraces her rich fam and experiences subsequent moral struggle which is predicted with the wraith)

-wonder what ryan thinks he could get from the marvins (which he cant get now lmaooo)

-this damn whisper box. so many questions. who named it the whisper box? why are the ropers' old possessions still there? who decided to build a mental hospital on top of it? and patrice! she "hid lucy's secrets" hannah gruen thinks tiffany tried to show patrice video w lucy on it, which patrice then specifically says she hid in the thin mans book. so patrice knows of the thin man? can she see him? does she know he was a ghost/supernatural? she must have a supernatural sense to know about him (unless sal told or some shit) so then when tiffany shows up w/ lucy being supernatural in it patrice hides it to protect her? is this why she is "crazy" kinda like victoria? supernatural elements or ability to sense ghosts makes her unstable? this is why lucy being a ghost/nursery rhyme that she repeats makes patrice worse/"stroke"? how did patrice even get into the whisper box to put the key in the bible and get out without getting trapped? also, her dementia --> lucidity is really fucking off, some people mildly switch like that but usually with dementia they cant even register new shit anymore

-...so did bess take the ride? 👀

-interesting how celia says "your father will be disappointed" but nothing of her own opinion. wonder how much celia truly puts up with to keep everett calm and nonhomicidal

-like george asking nick follow up questions that nancy never really would have asked

🥞🥞🥞(ep13)🥞🥞🥞

-is this bitch just eating a plain pancake with her bare hand?

-"extra case load and excessive volunteering" ugh. nancy's family here are like, gross in how "good" of people they are // unrealistic, trying to paint carson in the best light/ no way ryan could ever compare (but the reality is theyre not that good of people for lying about nancy) **and shes arrogant to think shes better than everyone else ie the only one who truly lives virtuously, thinks she can do no wrong sometimes even tho using sex to cope, breaking and entering, etc is not morally "good" stuff she still thinks she is the only one who doesnt lie and plays fair (like in the pilot she lists everyone else as a suspect but herself- obviously we know she isnt guilty but no one else does. (i mean in theory we really dont, what if nancy was an unreliable narrator and was actually guilty, that would be a hella cool show)its reactions like that where she cant understand why others like the chief suspect her

-ooooh ironic that in the Good Place carson readily agrees to pay her for helping with cases as opposed to s2 in reality

-nick's house has "problems" so why does he need a lawyer? as opposed to an interior designer, plumber, or realtor?

-in the Good Place nick and george realize they are not going to work out after one date. does this failure in the Good Place predict failure in reality, or merely an easier way of figuring out the truth? does this mean that the "opposite" of the Good Place is reality, or only an opinion of what is better? (nancy says "you all like me" as her opinion of them liking her is skewed; does this then only reflect nancys version for what is the "perfect life"?)

-why is bess a hippie??? and love how george curls her hair and wears pink lipstick here

-if this dream is so realistic then why is the one thing it cant conjure smoke? like how random

-love the locket being a key realization bc with things like jewelry you dont notice the weight of them until theyre gone

-"you all like me" in her perfect life nancy means they "like" her objectively/regardless of circumstance even though liking her is still an objective choice (like they "like" her because of other reasons instead of her working at the claw? (like how you make friends with coworkers/people at school every day but after you leave the job/graduate you never speak to them again) and her "thanks for showing up!" as if theyre not doing exactly that in reality 😐like where is she getting this shit? she sort of acknowledges in earlier eps she is hard to like/that she puts mysteries before friends, but also pushing them away to avoid danger like the previous ep "why do u show up" etc

-is it just me or does the inside of nicks "house" look like the drews'?

-nick has a dick scar lmaooooo (or more likely was hit in the balls or smth)

-love how nick + george match their anger in confronting sal 100% on the same level

-so when did ace go back to work after having such a busy day earlier?? lmaooo

-damn father shane is a creep (casting defo hired him for his voice) and how tf did he just poof + escape? and what did he request???

-love bess's white hair bow here 😌+ her jacket, whole outfit on point as usual

-like how bess is right that nancy has to find her way out but thats kind of a nonstarter for a room full of panicked people wanting to help

-in the Good Place theres no bad blood between drews + hudsons bc nancy is really theirs

-"the only one who has the key is you" in the Good Place nancy has the key (smaller picture, to finding out what happened to lucy but bigger picture, post-reveal) but ryan has the clues nancy needs- following the Good Place's mirroring, this just means that in reality ryan will either be completely useless or an active hindrance (but you KNOW this is a dream bc in what universe would ryan remember clues like that 😂)

-so in a perfect universe ryan acknowledges his family's "criminal empire" as opposed to reality where he only makes under cover jabs about disengaging with being an "entitled corrupt legacy criminal" ie finding the bonny scot relics but does nothing about them, etc

-"strippers" 😂

-okay what is nancys obsession w her beanie?? bc her mom made it? "wear beanies do crimes?" idk

-making the call: nancy -unable to make up for lost time/both her mothers had to find out/suffer alone / in the Good Place nancy was able to be with kate while she called, and in reality she had carson; somethig about seeing the mother looking to the daughter for strength in the Good Place instead of the reverse (which is what reality sounded like, kate being strong for nancy through the illness despite the struggle)

-concept: nancy & nick "let's wait out the storm"

-"i believe that you believe it" nick in the Good Place + owen in reality both trust nancy when she says she's seen things (owen's is the teeth) but nick in reality (and not really knowing details) doesnt think much of their "moment" bc it wasnt real (so she had to leave the Good Place to save carson- but if she had known then he wasnt her real dad, would she have stayed to be w nick?)

-stranger - suede james 💙👌🏻

-"really anxious as a kid" v telling bc of her desire to know everything to remain in control of situations like she always does now

-"the medicine or the metaphysics?"/"you cannot beat supernatural with science"

-i love nancy playing with her pinky while saying goodbye 🥺

-"always seek out the truth even if it hurts" this is straight irony bc kate never told nancy anything. like does that include the truth about nancys parentage? they taught her to seek out the truth, but who taught her that the truth is the only thing to live by? ie things dont count anymore like carson and kate straight up raising her is tossed out bc she finds out its not "the truth" like all that work/stress to protect carson + she just drops him? with kate maybe shes just upset thst she spent all that time mourning for someone who lied. and would she do the same to ryan if needed? probably

-bess and ace head tilt 💙

-like how for all the time she spent there nancy only has a subconscious memory of blue curtains

-YESSSSS i LOVEthese beautiful overhead shots of hannah's hands. so out of character for the show lmao but so gorgeous

-i feel like future eps/grand future will be nancy going through the lock boxes to help people who asked hannah for help

-the video is officially dated Aug 22, 2019

-soooooo in the first ep nancy breaks into the hudsons house and finds tiffanys secret drawer w the nail polish and finds the amulet with a note that says "for your protection HG" yet on this video tiffany says she talked to a medium who gave her the amulet sooooo am i just confused? HG is hannah gruen obvi so is the address for the medium what hannah gave her? or was the address on the amulet which nancy dissolved in salt water to see? so how would tiffany know where to go? its chicken and the egg which came first hannah or the medium?

and lastly:

i close these two eps with a thought that everything in this show is sealed in death. all the lies, the imagery, the fake constructs people put up to get by all crumple the second someone dies- all the secrets come clean just like these doors have been unsealed.