#like it was said to me and i didnt believe it

[discodummy]

I'm gonna rant about my body image issues and dysmorphia for a second so watch out. I'll put it under a read more if i can figure out how

slay i think i did it. anyway, going to the gym as much as i have and getting into shape and stuff has been lovely, dont get me wrong, but it also makes some things very strange for me. Like, I was raised by a an who had a manual job and was a bodybuilder in his 20's. My perspective of what a "dad bod" was was SO skewed by my dad that i though it meant a buff guy who puffs his chest out when he stands stil to look bigger. My older brother (by three years) was chubby in middle school and then did swimming and lacrosse and had an insane dorito shaped body by 17 and still has it now. I was 6'3 when i started high school and i looked like a lollipop: just a big head on a tiny body. And i stayed that way all through high school. I assumed that getting beefy and filling out like my dad and brother did just want going to happen for me. I spent all of my early and mid 20's weighing like 145 (150 on a good day) and having to buy 28x34's for pants and medium shirts. The pandemic happened and i started working from home and after a few years i was about 210 or so. I stayed around that weight for bit and assumed it was my adult weight and what my body liked and spent over a year coming to terms with it. wel NOW after going to the gym and eating better for the last 10 months, im down to a toned 180 and im all sorts of jumbled up. I hit my shoulders on doorframes bc even though i measured and know my shoulders got at least 4 inches broader, i still dont believe it or feel it. My mediums got too tight, and my XL's from being 210 fit my shoulders and chest but hang off of me. Like im surrounded by evidence of the shape my body is in now, and i can see in the mirror how i look, i just dont think its clicking for me. I'm right about 6'4 and until the last year or so i wouold just say i was "medium tall" bc i didnt think i was TALL tall, just tallER. Like thats how deep this weird disconnect from the objective truths of my body goes. And now im at the point where people compliment my arms or chest or butt or something and i cant shake the nagging feeling that its just flattery and they dont mean it and isnt true. Someone said my arms were big and i was like "i mean theyre long, but i wouldnt say big" and it took me seeing several people with smaller arms over the course of a while for me to be like "oh yeah i guess so". Like, i always felt like the most average and unremarkable of my family and thats SUPER bleeding into things now. Maybe i dont think i can be extraordinary or above average or something?? All i know is im CLEARLY not seeing what everyone else is, and poeple are getting frustrated with me about it and taking it as me being fake-humble or just plain oblivious. And i feel insane talking about it bc one of my friends says it makes him feel awful to see someone who "looks like me" doubt myself so much, because that means that HE must be so much worse then. I also know that a 6'4 in shape white guy having body image issues isnt exactly the easiest thing to sympathize or empathize with, but it sucks that I feel like i cant really talk about it with anyone bc it just gets too personally hard for anyone to go in depth about. Its like my issues are too triggering for others and i just need to get a grip or something. IDK, i just needed to vent about this bc i dont know what else to do. if you read all of this, let me know what you think or something lol

[urdsstiny]

ACCUSATIONS | chris

warnings : toxic bf, cheating accusations

notes : I hate hate hate this!

you stood across from chris in his kitchen, your head hurting from the tension between the pair of you. "I got told!" he yelled, referring to the fact that he had just accused you of cheating on him at a party you were at yesterday without him.

"by who?" you yell back, crossing your arms. chris raised his voice to your level even more, not caring if any of the neighbours heard. he walked up right to you, getting in your face while looking you up and down. "who do you think? your friends who saw you!"

"are you serious?" you scoff, "the same friend that wanted you since day one? she literally was in your dm's! ofcourse she’d lie." you argue back just as his brothers came home, walking into the kitchen with concerned looks. "you guys okay?" nick questioned, knowing what his brother got like.

chris ignores him, not taking his eyes off of you. "so you're saying that they are lying then? you didn't cheat on me then is what you're trying to say?" he questioned you, not believing your words one bit.

“i wouldn't cheat on you, chris." your voice grew quieter, showing how genuine you you You didn't want to hurt him, but he always drastically changed things no matter how hard you tried. he was toxic, but you were inlove.

he sighed out loud when he heard your words, he ran his hand through his hair, not knowing whether he could believe it or not at this point. his brothers stood silently while watching you both, not sure whether to get involved or not. "why should i believe you then? huh?"

you frown, feeling your lip beginning to tremble. "are you serious?" you felt a quiver in your voice, "it's been two years. will you ever trust me?"he crossed his arms once you said this, feeling defensive as you begin to break down. it pained him to see that, but he still couldn't fully believe that you didn't cheat. "that doesn’t mean shit, i’m just meant to trust and believe you then? just like that?"

"when it's a random girl with bad intentions telling you lies, then yeah." he rolled his eyes, still not believing you. "what if she's not making it up then? what if she's actually telling the truth? what then, huh?"

you roll your eyes, fed up of arguing. you rubbed your hands up and down your face in frustration - not responding. he got more annoyed by your silence, his face growing red. "answer the question. what then if she's right, huh?" He demanded from you.

you still didnt respond, fighting tears as you hid your face in your hands. he took notice of you covering your face, and he slightly lightened up, his face turning a bit less red. "don’t get all emotional now." he said as his expression softened a little bit.

"i’m sick of this, chris." your finally take your hands away, your eyes now red. you hide your shaking hands behind your back, pulling at your fingers to distract yourself. he could see your glossy eyes from the tears. "sick of what? me not trusting you?"

"yes. i haven't done anything to earn this. i’ve tried to be sympathetic, to help you and earn your trust but it's useless." you shake your head, taking a step back from him. "are you saying this is all my fault then?" he questioned you, his face becoming red once again, his voice growing higher. "i’m asking you one last time. did. you. cheat?"

"chris." matt cuts in, standing up for you. "leave her alone, i was with her all night. i was the only guy she spoke to, and i even drove her home." you look over him, thankful for his input.

his eyes darted to his brother as he cut in, his face was still red as he began thinking about what matt had said. "...really?" he asked. he wanted to believe that matt was right, he trusted his brothers more than anything, but deep down he still wasn’t sure.

"she’s not your ex, chris." nick piped up, sick of his behaviour. he let out a sigh, and his red face started to fade. he knew that his brothers were probably right, he was just too blinded by anger and his fear of being cheated on, again.

“i need to go." you couldn’t be there anymore, you had to be alone. you could feel yourself beginning to fall apart. his face saddened once he noticed that you were leaving, he hated to see you upset like this. "wait.." he called out to you as you began to walk away.

"leave me alone, chris." you spoke as as you slid on your shoes, "i’m sick of you doing this to me." you spoke your truth, wiping your teary eyes. "i can take you home." matt offered, grabbing his keys again.

chris just stood there, listening to your words. he hated that he hurt you, but sometimes his anger got the best of him. seeing you wipe away tears made him feel like a jerk, and he began to realize how crazy he had been acting.

"you’re really leaving.?" he asked you softly. you nod, not sure what this meant for your relationship. “please don't go." he spoke softly but desperately, his voice and expression filled with pleading.

you didn’t respond, instead following back to the car. you slipped into the backseat, feeling your heart thumping against your chest. “are you okay?” he asked, spotting your shaking hands as you try to calm yourself down.

you nod, your head falling into your hands as you feel yourself break down. chris watched from the door, his heart breaking as his brother comforted you. he needed to fix this.

[messrsrarchives]

What did you do in college????? I start year 12 next week and I want do english at uni what subjects did you do and what uni choices???? If you're okay saying ofc

heyyyy

i did a-levels in english lit, psychology and politics (+ AS spanish) !! and then i'm 2nd year dual honours english lit + politics now :)

uni wise (excluding the one i actually go to) i applied to durham, cambridge, st andrews, nottingham, brighton

some unis aren't too fussed about what other subjects you do !! there were even some (not these ones) that don't need you to do english lit alevel, it's all v individual !! but then others wanted certain english lit + another humanity. all very annoying. all very unnecessary BUT generally if you're doing english lit and meet the grade boundaries that's it :) only fussy unis want more

does this help!? maybe not !! i will say that the personal statement was a big part of it to but if i remember correctly they've changed how that works so idk what it's like now

[wormsical]

whatever

[robiinurheart33]

Do they know it’s legal now

[kangals]

FLUFFY GUY HAS MADE HIS FIRST ORBIT OF THE SUN! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEPLER! 🎉🔭💫

[caseyhughes]

<I guess this is me from now on,> Tobias said.

I knew there were tears falling down my cheeks, but I didn't care anymore.

[peacockrulz]

N tries to tell another joke (gone wrong)

Sequel to This

[emborami]

Hi so in case anyone was dying to know, this is what i think some of the cast of the terror would look like as animals :3 notes under cut

From left to right:

Crozier- Irish Terrier

Silna- Polar Bear

Goodsir- ryeland sheep (known for tasty mutton ;3)

Hickey- red fox

Franklin- old english game rooster

Fitzjames- red deer

I had fun coming up with them :) and I kinda wanna doodle some screencaps but with like a lil short sheep goodsir and his bestie the giant polar bear lady silence whom he thinks would love England. Or like hickey on his bullshit but with more flair bc he would have a fox body and tail to really fuck up that line of action

Anyways heres some closeups and sketches

[rasb7rry]

sick of seeing katsuki all smooth and flirty in fanfics like that man CANNOT flirt for the life of him or communicate his feelings properly AT ALL and he represses his true feelings and masks that as anger or hate and does NOT give a shit about love or other bs like that because why does that matter !!!! unless it's izuku, ONLY THEN it matters

[screechingfromthevoid]

I don't think Dorian wants the stewardship. I never thought he wanted the stewardship.

They're his characters and Robbie can do what he wants but when Dorian says "I'm free" it kills me inside because you can hear the relief but you can also hear the lingering dread of "for now".

And when orym asks about the future Dorian only wants "day by day" which is totally fine in the short term. But when time comes and his parents are old and grey and tired, will he return? He is next in line. Will his parents do their damnedest to stay alive as long as possible so Dorian can be free for as long as he can? Will Dorian come home and gently coax the stewardship from them when they are no longer fit?

Who will be the next Firstsun?

[ratatatastic]

the sauna robe era: a beautiful saga unfolding before us. we really have gone from "it was matthew's idea to wear them for pregame fits" to "sasha texted them team to make them wear the robes for the preds game"

nashville predators @ florida panthers postgame interview | 11.7.24 (x)(x)(x)(x)(x)

DO YOU KNOW HOW FUNNY IT IS THAT BOTH RODDY AND MAFFHEW WENT oh the whole team all thought it was a prank but we still wore them anyways which somehow makes the robe walkin an exercise in trust and love that everyone passed with flying colours god this team is filled with lobe and friemdship

also happy mackie did in fact get ribbed for taking the shirt option his team uncles sure are giving him the rookie experience and also "i wasn't sure if i was showing too much skin or not" on a team

THAT WALKED IN LIKE THIS WITHOUT ANY SHAME. YEAH BUD I DONT THINK THATS A PROBLEM HERE.

the robes are truly a hit amongst the team aka we dont have to use our brains and we just put on a robe its fantastic, mackie maffhew and nosey are on absolutely onboard unsurprisingly

and if you wondering oh what about paul when will we see him-

the answer is a firm NO on both accounts so to those (me) who wanted to see an old man in a skimpy robe our dreams have to be crushed from the getgo but maybe if the streak goes long enough-

[freyadragonlord]

I will freely admit it when I am wrong.

Reading the manhwa, I didn't think Lout of the Count's Family would actually ever get to the war part Cale has been talking about since the beginning.

And I sure as hell didn't predict the battles would be this brutal and badass. Holy shit.

[epiphainie]

i love the farewell, tommy. the 217's loss is our gain! note so much. like what a nice way to say that tommy was appreciated and always welcome back to the 118, if not literally, at least spiritually. that's a coworker they loved DOWN :')

[themyscirah]

Complaining abt Suicide Squad yet again but the fact that they have Waller exposing the alien community to space racist attacks and talking abt how she got to her position through deceit and being a terrible person and stuff is just. Ahsfiwueh JUST SAY YOU DONT KNOW WALLER.

Anyways literally the 3rd mission of the Squad ever (and the first framed as smth Waller picked and not orders from above) was the Squad discrediting and stopping a rogue vigilante who was only arresting POC and funneling white people into white supremacy groups (of which he was the most prominent member) in SUICIDE SQUAD #4. and it's explicitly framed as this mission being personal for Waller that she's hiding from the government bc its illegal like. Guys. Please why are we having her incite (space bc comics) racist attacks now

Also the whole "Amanda got her position through deceit and being a terrible person" NO. she KEPT her position through being shitty and playing complicated political games!!! She wasn't always that way like there is a difference and it is IMPORTANT ppl PLEASEEEE. In Secret Origins #14 we learn Amanda's backstory and she used to be a normal, caring person! Like even after she entered into working in government and politics she wasn't automatically morally bankrupt like please people. She was originally given control of the Squad by Reagan (*sigh* 80s comics...) to distract and get rid of her because she was so successful at pushing progressive social policy in Congress. Acting like she's this static pillar of evil is such a waste of her character and so fucking uninteresting and disrespectful to her arc it drives me MAD.

Like I am NOT saying Waller is all sunshine and rainbows, she fucking SUCKS (said w love <3) but like there's a human being there. It's a progression, she has a character arc like please, DC, please!!! They've fucked up Waller so bad and made her so opaque and uninteresting she can't even be the protagonist of her own story for fucks sake!

Like I don't know how many times I have to scream it until DC hears me or remembers but WALLER IS THE MAIN CHARACTER OF SUICIDE SQUAD. ITS HER BOOK. yet right now she's a cutout to be used as the villain wherever the writers please. Even in her book we get none of her perspective really displayed, no exploration of her thoughts with any kind of understanding of the role she traditionally has played and was made to play in the story.

[paranoidgemsbok]

I'm gonna lose my mind. An adult woman just saw my bumper sticker ('I brake for roly polys', with a picture of an isopod) and said, laughing "did you ever see a roly poly?" And I said yeah! I breed them! And she goes "oh??? Are they real???????"