#like im not depressed depressed or anything

[angellurgy2]

Something I noticed is that you respond to well wishes with something like "if I deserved nice things then these bad things wouldn't be happening to me" but I often see incredibly bad things happen to good people all the time. Very frequently I see nice people treated like shit and institutions fail to protect the most vulnerable. In fact, this is often a recurring trend. The idea that what is happening to you right now and people treating you badly is reflection on you is something that people often feel in the moment, but is often not the case. People very rarely aren't treated the way they're deserved to be treated and I wonder if you would apply this logic to a stranger: have you never seen someone be mean to someone else? Have you never heard a news story where whatever happened wasn't the victim's fault? Have you never seen or heard of someone being bullied?

Often we can admit that strangers do experience these things, that other people with a lack of support don't deserve the shit they go through, but we don't extend this kindness to ourselves. Why?

I think it can feel hard to be gentle with yourself because if what's happening isn't a reflection on you, then how can you control it? But the truth is, sometimes people are unlucky or misunderstood or don't have the support they need and it sucks. But you never get a chance to be understood and gain more luck if you're not here to try again. There is nothing intrinsic to you that makes you worth less than anyone else--you deserve to get the chance to experience gentleness and I hope you can spare some for yourself. I know this might seem random, but I hope you can have hope? At the very least, whatever happens, I hope you don't end up thinking that this is happening because you deserve it, because I don't think this is your fault

i guess you're right, yeah. i kind of know its just depressed speak but when all i get from almost everyone is telling me the same or doing bad things to me idk why react in any other way. being angry is so tiring. i just wanted some affection before the end bc deep down i know i deserve it and i know i was failed. but everytime i say it someone whos sposed to be one of my own comes in to tell me im evil for saying so. even if im not intrinsically bad there is smth about me that makes most ppl not relate or feel anything for me, and that im not quite able to fix bc its of biological nature. idk. ty

[pomefioredove]

i personally think vil can be shipped with SO many characters (including, but limited to, leona, azul, and idia) just because of his perception of beauty. you’d think with how obsessed he is with his looks he’d be vain and cruel and think beauty is the conventionally attractive features society agreed upon. but he isn’t!! and not a lot of people know that. (my take! :) vil finds beauty not in the conventionally attractive features many others do, he finds beauty in doing the best you absolutely can. in taking care of yourself. and so many of the twst characters do not do that. it’s why yuu is long overdue for an overblot 😭 the characters i listed earlier. (my take!! again! :) leona is super unmotivated to take care of himself and shows a lot of signs of depression!! he stopped giving anything any amount of effort until the spelldrive tournament (which obviously went… not so well) because he felt hopeless and basically?? worthless,, both azul and idia have a low self esteem, i don’t know too much about them (on. book 3… im just a pro listener to my friend’s lore ramblings) so i won’t give my take yet! yuu…….. yuu is…!!!! tries their best of course but. it’s kind of hard to. take care of yourself AND a cat AND all of your friends(?) AND your literal principal at the same time. and also try to have that principal not hang the fact of ‘you’ being poor and having no recourses over your head every time you try and say no when he asks you to help him out with something ridiculous that should not be your problem at all. maybe that was a little specific but. yuu’s been through it is what im getting at. and they are hardly appreciated enough as they should be. now. VIL. VIL would appreciate yuu to the absolute best of his ability. and more. in this essay i will

ANON.

ENOUGHHHHHH GGGGRRGRGR I WAS LITERALLY THINKING ABOIT THIS EARLIER

yuu is so overlooked as a character, I know they're supposed to be a vessel to project onto but that's a whole Guy to me. a whole Person. like there's so many traits that canon gives them. and one of them is "motherly". whether that's WILLING or not depends on the player, but everyone in CANON!!! makes constant comments about how grim is like yuu's little baby and how yuu essentially takes emotional care of so many students. in the recent event ace said something like "there's crowley's official beast tamer" in reference to how yuu just. takes care of these chaotic little things.

vil is literally the only other character who plays a similar role in the story.

... cause chars like trey and lilia are almost there, but distinctly different in their roles, while vil is THE mother.

one of the things that elevates vilyuu to otp levels for me is that vil is one of the only characters in game that treats yuu with respect, and as an equal. I like to think that he kind of admires yuu, and almost looks up to them in a way, for all they're capable of. yuu having not overblotted or melted down (yet) is probably something vil finds fascinating (and kinda worrying), because he knows them well and he KNOWS how much shit they go through. I'd imagine he's almost envious of the self control they have

and I think they're the closest out of everyone in the overblot gang. yes that includes malleus idc. literally everyone in this game is so fucking mean to yuu but vil isn't.

he canonically has such a huge soft spot for the prefect, platonic or romantic or whatever, that's just. so different from what he shows others. to me

[11queensupreme11]

Everybody fucking minds and always doing it the no sexy way 😞😔

Do love no war babygirls

If we're very decided we can solve all of this in bed! The sexy way

Or play UNO and whoever wins is the top

Sincerely, after watching the dress... Totally would think they're doing some kinky shit 🤣

Beelzebub: we can hold hands if you want 🥺 totally platonic no second intentions here

Percy: *didn't hear anything, cared no shit for what's happening, wants a hot dog with meat that probably is from a rat* what did you say?

Percy watching Sally being happier without her, her friends being happy with some girl... Queen, totally trauma, I'd cry and beg my mom to hold me even if that makes us miserable

Beelzebub, your yandere tendencies are showing. Giving her traumas and comforting her after. Get a man that can do both (please don't get you a man that can do that)

(Give us moooooore I'm starving)

(Waiting for what you're going to do with that, Percy progress- maybe fall is the correct word- is showing queen. Love it)

Anyway, can someone please draw them on their date? 😭 That's so cute, they're literally so perfect together, like that couple that is the black cat boyfriend with his golden retriever girlfriend and they're precious 💞

(Beelzebub worrying about her suicidal thoughts and he admitting he doesn't want to die so much... *Cheff kiss* we love an emo boy that is self aware)

Now, Loki?

Loki, my boy, your panic is beautiful to watch, horrific to endure.

I'm wondering how they are going to deal with being in the same harem? Fight to be the favorite concubine? Seduce their way to Percy's bed?

Percy: you're just a pathetic simp pretending to be an alpha man and you just go destroy mode whenever you're confronted with your own emotions. You love me so much that is making you look pathetic

Loki:

Him switching sides in the moment he accepts he loves her is gold.

He may be crazy, sadistic and a psychopath, but by the gods he's not going to fool himself.

He loves the girl, now he needs to kill all the other people that love the same girl.

Assassination! His favorite hobby! She's so much fun and they haven't even had sex yet! Wonderful wife indeed

And starting with Beelzebub is a wise move, you know? From all of them he's the one that she's the most comfortable with, he could play the slow game he's the one she'd fall at the end (you know, once she forgets about the other world, that he could make happen too).

Right now Beelzebub is that best friend that is the one for her (the other, even if I love them, aren't so close to her). He just needs to wait, fool her and she'd be his

(as if the other are going to let that happen, but is the scent, you know?)

Loki is right to be jealous of him, no one (with a dick) is close to her like him, she's herself with him and is the only one that likes him with his depressive tendencies.

He could say: Percy, for medical reasons, undress yourself and let me study your body. It may end in sexy medical porn, depending on my self control

And she wouldn't see no wrong.

Is Beelzebub! Her bestie! She can trust him with her security (poor navy girl, you can't never trust a man that much). Even if he has feelings for her she wouldn't worry about him doing anything to her, just worry about the uncomfortable situation.

Wondering if they're going to guilty trappe her to stay (You made us love you! We are learning to be open and to accept love and you want to leave us? Leave us in a world where we're fated to yearn for you for eternity and be alone again?), Percy would suffer whatever if she thinks she's saving people, such a naive and dumb girl, too good to this world.

This whole situation is pure chaos, they're planning so many things just to crash with each other. Would be funny to see them working together but also don't know how that situation would happen.

Anyway, thanks for the amazing chapter Queen! 👑

im sorry but this part cracked me up 😭

"for medical reasons we may need to fuck 😔"

"yeah sure ok"

😭😭😭

IM SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED THIS CHAPTER!!

i had a blast writing this chapter lmao, and im currently writing another chapter (not the next one) that's gonna be even better

maybe... idk. all i can say is that beel digs an even deeper grave in this one chapter and i just love watching him lose his shit

[l1tw1ck]

anniversary event is gonna be a little bit delayed

i've been busy lately and oh so very lazy (kinda depressed) so im sorry !! i finished 1 fic (just one😭) so hopefully i can proofread then post that soon

i always feel nervous when i miss my self imposed deadlines but i'll take it slow, i just thought y'all should know i didn't forget or anything

i was also considering rewriting/expanding or adding a second part to my earlier fics, so if anyone is interested in that send me an ask and the name of the fic. if u want a part two you're more likely to get it if you tell me what u want to happen bc as i've said before, i often feel satisfied with my oneshots and it's hard to come up w something to add

[cantsaythetword]

I'm lee for my friends but not in a fun 'aaaah nooo help I lee' way more in a 'tword me so I know you definitely love me' way

[inkskinned]

today i love the red metal crane in her long neck arching her body over the boston skyline, which means i am okay for a moment. when i am unwell, everything is a little ugly. i always tell myself look for the beauty but when it is bad, i will look at birds and sunsets and little ducklings and feel absolutely nothing.

when my brother got his puppy, i was in a deep depression. what kind of monster isn't affected by a puppy. i was gentle and kind to her - i just didn't have an emotional reaction. she's five now and i feel like i spend all of our interactions apologizing to her - i don't know why. i just didn't feel anything. how embarrassing. i feel like if i admit that, i'll seem cruel and jaded. it comes in waves. like, two months ago when i went out into the world - it was like that. life behind a pane of stormglass. a firework could go off over your head - nothing. like dead skin, no reaction. not to ice cream or rainbows or baby chickens. life foggy and uninteresting.

i love goslings again. i love their little webbed feet splayed over grass. i love good food and live music and long walks. i like puppies. i feel like some kind of my soul has been starved - i keep staring at everything with wide eyes, trying to burrow the sensation into my stomach. it's real. beauty is real. when it's bad again, remember this. i stop and smell the flowers, feeling cliche in the moment. i like the white-to-red ombre of my neighbor's roses. i like colorcoding and yoga and cold drinks. i try to pass my hands over every moment, feeling like i'm squeezing joy out of every instant. remember this. for the love of god, it's real - just remember this.

[scourge-sympathiser]

SCOURGE SUNDAY 024/???

[melaugo]

Offers you inuyasha fanart

[ryssbelle]

Some of y’all portray John Dory as so old and yeah he is older and you can do whatever you want forever as an artist or writer but he is 30 years old and yall draw him like his pushing 50

Mans got one foot in the grave and the others going in the second he his 36

Bonus:

[bluehairedspidey]

"boone would hate gannon because he talks too much lol"

boone:

[skunkes]

[hecksupremechips]

Come back home when you have some sense

You can throw your life away just not at my expense

You’re not the son I raised

[mentally-ill-but-fucking-trying]

[redeliminator]

@strawbrygashez's post about andre going crazy to time is running out by muse got me thinking and I finally got slapped with an even worse afterthought.

I remembered another muse song, which perfectly encapsulates what I think might have been going through Andre's mind seconds before he pulled the trigger on himself.

the song is "thoughts of a dying atheist"

and I know you're in this room, I thought I heard you sigh floating in between where our worlds collide. (...) it scares the hell out of me and the end is all I can see (...) and I know the moment's near and there's nothing you can do look through a faithless eye are you afraid to die?

he IS afraid to die. it DOES scare the hell out of him. the end IS all he can see. and cal's words ARE floating between them as andre's initial escape plan collides head-on with cal's relentless wish to die.

andre didn't intend to die that day. he wasn't prepared. but he accepted the situation for what it was. he had to. he acknowledged that his plan to get out was a fool's game and so, his entire perspective turned upside down in a split second. the moment was near. there was nothing he could do.

maybe at the very end, when he felt the gun under his own chin, everything around them did go silent. he knew cal was still there, he heard his voice as he counted down the last seconds of their life, but it felt so distant. drowned out.

maybe the sigh he thought he heard was in fact the shot that ended it all.

[calamarispiderart]

mind in the notes app wowza

[todayisafridaynight]