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all-our-turf · 3 days ago

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scared to live (scared to die)

Ajax and Swan are out on a mission when they have a run in with the cops. It rattles Ajax more than she was prepared for.

explored swan & ajax dynamic post canon but also lots of remjax and background swercy! read under the cut or on ao3 !!

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It wasn’t often that Cleon sent anyone out with express permission to start a fight, but when she got wind of a group of guys harassing women on the edge of Warrior turf, she told Ajax and Swan to “handle it”.

Ajax suspects it might have been a ploy to try and get her and Swan to actually talk to each other, but Cleon underestimated just how willing the two of them were to spend the entire walk in dead silence.

Ever since Ajax got out of jail, things between her and Swan have been - well. Complicated, to say the least. The first few days were especially volatile, and Ajax knows she hasn’t done much to make it easier. Once the burning anger faded away, she and Swan seemed content to avoid each other, despite some of the other Warriors trying to get them to just talk about it. But everything between them - everything they probably should say to one another - felt too heavy, too wide and dangerous of a distance to even attempt to cross.

Which brings them to where they are now, walking side by side and refusing to look at each other. Ajax shoves her hands deeper into her pockets, trying to ignore the way her mind is buzzing in the tense silence. Before leaving, Rembrandt had asked her to try, and part of Ajax wanted to.

She hates this weird limbo they’re in, hates that it’s putting Rembrandt and the other Warriors in an awkward position. She knows Rembrandt wants things to go back to how they used to be, and Ajax can admit that she wants that too. If Cleon had given her and Swan this mission six months ago, they would’ve spent the whole time shoving at each other and bickering playfully, placing bets on who could end their fight the fastest, and Ajax felt a pang of longing go through her at the thought.

But nothing done could be undone. And considering how Swan hasn’t made any effort to cross that bridge either, Ajax doesn’t know if there’s any hope of salvaging what’s left of their relationship.

She’s brought out of her depressing train of thought by the sound of shouting up ahead, and as her and Swan turn a corner they find what they set out to look for.

There’s a group of four guys up ahead, whistling and getting closer to a girl who couldn’t have been older than 16. Ajax glances over at Swan and finds her already looking back, the same fury lighting up in her eyes. Despite the situation, Ajax grasps onto this one moment of normalcy, of her and Swan being on the same page for what must be the first time since before that night. Without a word, they both stalk forward towards the guys.

“What’s going on over here, boys?” Swan calls out, a clear warning in her voice as they approach.

Go as far as you need to get the point across.

Cleon’s words echo in Ajax’s head as her and Swan place themselves in front of the girl. She hears the girl inhale sharply at the sight of the red W on the back of their vests. Ajax glances back and finds her staring at them in wide eyed awe, and for a moment she’s reminded of Fox. The memory of her lodges itself painfully in her chest. Ajax lets it fester into anger.

“Just talkin’. You ladies shouldn’t be out by your lonesome this late, ya know.” The one in the front says, his voice a sleazy drawl. The others chuckle at his words.

“This is Warriors territory. Fuck off while you still can.” Swan’s itching for just as much a fight as Ajax is, clearly, considering her half assed efforts to diffuse the situation with words.

The guys laugh again, and one of them is stupid enough to take a step closer, nearly leaning into Swan’s space.

“Don’t worry, there’s more than enough of us to go around. I’m sure I could show you a good time.” He bares his teeth in what he must think is a charming smile. He reaches a hand out towards Swan’s face and Ajax flexes her fingers at her side, but keeps her eyes locked on the other three so they don’t try anything. “I bet a girl like you likes it rough, I -”

His sentence cuts off in a cry of pain when Swan stops him from touching her - probably by breaking his fingers. Ajax doesn’t give the others time to react.

“Think it’s funny to harass women, motherfuckers? Fucking try it with us,” She snarls, sending the first guy crumpling to the floor with a violent kick between his legs, punching wildly at the other as he tries to get his arms up to block. She suspects the third one has gone to defend his friend against Swan, but considering the pathetic noises the two in front of her are letting out, she’s not too worried about Swan holding her own.

Ajax vaguely registers the girl they saved running off, but she can’t bring herself to care much about anything other than the assholes in front of her. It’s been too long since she got to throw herself into a fight like this, and maybe if Ajax were a better person she’d think of that as a good thing. Cleon’s been working so hard to make Cyrus’s dream a reality, to make it so they don’t have to fight, but this anger - this violence - has been a part of Ajax for as long as she can remember, has clawed and ravaged at her insides, begging to be let out, and the urge has only gotten stronger since that night. Since Fox. Since prison. Since Swan stopped being able to look at her.

Ajax doesn’t think you could even call this a fight, really, but she doesn’t stop. The guys are on the ground, barely moving, but she can’t bring herself to stop, even as something crunches under her fists and her knuckles split open and blood spills over her hands. Swan never moves to stop her, and Ajax suspects Swan is taking the same chance to finally let loose in the way she always holds herself back from.

They’ve always been more similar than either would care to admit. Ajax knows the anger that rages inside her also lays dormant inside Swan. Ajax wonders if they’ve been carrying the same pain for the past few months.

“Hey! You two! Stop!”

It’s not the voice that pulls Ajax out of her head - it’s the way the world flashes blue and red immediately after, the sound of sirens piercing through the air. Something foreign curls in her chest - something that makes her lungs stop working and every muscle in her body tense.

This feels too familiar.

She remembers the park, the metal closing around her wrist, the concrete box she was locked in for weeks. Being away from Rembrandt, from the Warriors, not being there to protect the people she was supposed to protect.

It must be panic that’s taking root in her chest because all Ajax can think is that she can’t go back there.

Suddenly Swan’s in front of her, grabbing onto the fabric of Ajax’s vest and shoving her forward.

“Ajax, fucking run!”

And for the first time in her life, Ajax doesn’t stop to question the orders. She turns and takes off at a sprint, away from those fucking lights.

Her feet pound against the pavement, but she can hardly hear anything over the deafening sound of her own heartbeat in her ears. Judging by the sharp pain that blooms in her side, Ajax doesn’t think she even breathes. She can’t even think of anything aside from getting as far from those fucking cops as possible - of making it back home.

She makes it all the way back to the Warriors’ apartment building, flying halfway up the steps before she finally starts to come back to herself. She grasps at the railing, desperately gasping for air and listening for the sound of anyone chasing her.

She can still hear the sirens, but they’re further away now, and when she turns there isn’t another person in sight.

Ajax freezes for an entirely different reason, her stomach dropping.

Swan isn’t behind her.

Ajax waits, a lump in her throat, hoping, wishing, praying that at any moment now Swan will whirl around the corner, indifferent as always, and make a quip about Ajax worrying about her. The seconds tick by.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Ajax flies up the rest of the stairs, pounding on the door to Cleon’s apartment, where the others are likely waiting for their return.

The door finally opens, and Cleon’s suddenly in front of her with a warm smile that immediately fades at the sight of Ajax.

“What happened?”

She ushers Ajax inside to the living room, where the others are sprawled out. Everyone sits up when she comes in, and Rembrandt is in front of her in half a second.

“Ajax? What’s wrong?” Rembrandt cups her face with the softest hands, soft in a way Ajax doesn’t deserve right now. Not when she just ran and left Swan behind. “Baby, you’re shaking.”

“Where’s Swan?”

Ajax looks up, meeting Mercy’s gaze over Rembrandt’s head. She feels like her insides are trembling, and she’s briefly worried she’s about to throw up in front of everyone.

“I -“ Ajax’s voice hitches uncharacteristically. “I don’t know.”

Mercy’s face twists, and before anyone can react she’s ripping Ajax from Rembrandt’s grip, shoving her against a wall and fisting a hand into her collar.

“What the fuck do you mean you don’t know?!”

Ajax swallows harshly, forcing herself not to look away from the storm raging in Mercy’s eyes and lifting a hand up to stop Rembrandt from trying to get in between them.

“Cops pulled up on us,” she forces the words out, and everyone in the room seems to go still, the same thought likely flitting through their heads.

Not again.

“They took her?” Cleon clenches her fists at her side as she fights to keep her voice even. She’s not successful in hiding the way it wavers around the words.

“No I - I don’t know. She told me to run and I took off. I thought she was right behind me but -“ Ajax cuts herself off, feeling the way Mercy’s grip tightens around her collar.

“How fucking far did you run before you realized she wasn’t with you?” Mercy’s voice is quiet, dangerous, and Ajax swallows harshly, guilt threatening to suffocate her if Mercy doesn’t do it first.

She must take too long to answer because Mercy is pulling her forward just enough to slam her back into the wall, voice raising into a yell. “How fucking far, Ajax?”

“Mercy, come on, this isn’t going to help.” Cochise tries to intervene, placing a hand on Mercy’s shoulder. Mercy shrugs it away without taking her eyes off of Ajax.

“I only realized once I made it back here,” Ajax finally admits, her head hanging. “I don’t know if I lost her on the way or if -“

She’s cut off by Mercy’s fist slamming into her cheekbone.

Mercy manages to get three solid hits in before Cochise and Cowgirl are wrenching her away, and Rembrandt is stepping protectively in front of Ajax. Mercy curses, flailing wildly in their grip.

“Enough!” Cleon’s voice makes everyone freeze, rough and raw in a way it rarely is. She’s leaning heavily on the back of the couch, gripping onto it so tightly her knuckles turn pale. She takes a carefully controlled breath. Then another. Finally, she looks up, pinning Ajax in place with her stare. “Ajax. Tell me exactly what happened.”

Ajax nods immediately, and Rembrandt guides her to sit in an armchair. She collapses into it, watching as Cochise and Cowgirl gently push Mercy down to sit on the couch.

Ajax is still shaking.

She manages to fumble her way through the story, starting from the moment they saw those guys pulling up on the young girl. There’s not much to say. The last thing Ajax remembers is Swan shoving her forward and telling her to run. Everything else feels like a blur.

“We have to go look for her.” Mercy frantically looks at Cleon, but Cleon just shakes her head. “Cleon -“

“They either took her in or are still out looking. Going out just risks the rest of us. All we can do is wait.” Cleon looks like she’d rather be saying anything else.

“This is bullshit!” Mercy jumps to her feet, gesturing wildly. “If it were anyone else, Swan would be -“

“Swan would be telling you the same thing I am.”

“If any of us got into trouble because we went out looking, Swan would never forgive herself,” Cochise adds, reaching out to grab Mercy’s hand.

Mercy makes a frustrated noise in the back of her throat. Her gaze lands on Ajax again, and her face darkens.

Rembrandt immediately puts herself in between Ajax and Mercy.

“Rembrandt, move.”

“No. You don’t get to blame Ajax for this.”

“Like hell I don’t -“

“Swan can keep up with Ajax just fine - if she wanted to run with her she would’ve. She made a different choice, that’s not on Ajax.”

Mercy laughs humorlessly, but Rembrandt continues before she gets a chance to disagree.

“Was it Swan’s fault when Ajax got arrested?”

Mercy goes still, jaw clenching tight. Ajax rises to her feet, reaching out to grab Rembrandt’s arm and pull her back. “Rem, don’t -“

Rembrandt ignores her, keeping her eyes on Mercy, the two of them locked in a tense staring contest. “You’re scared and you’re looking for someone to blame. I’ve been there, remember? But you don’t get to take your emotions out on Ajax.”

“Why not?” Mercy sneers cruelly. “Isn’t that what Ajax did to Swan after getting out of prison?”

Ajax flinches as if the words were a physical blow. She feels sick to her stomach.

“Okay, maybe let’s all take a breath and calm down.” Cochise makes an effort to pull Mercy back to the couch, but Mercy roughly pushes her away.

“No, fuck that.” Mercy instead takes a step closer to Ajax and Rembrandt. “You were handcuffed to a bench, surrounded, and Swan still nearly stayed behind to try and help you. Did you even hesitate before turning and running?”

“This is not the same.” Rembrandt’s voice hardens.

Mercy ignores her. “You couldn’t even be bothered to fucking glance back to see where she was?”

Ajax can barely breathe around the lump in her throat, her heart pounding wildly in her chest. Rembrandt doesn’t give her a chance to speak even if she wanted to.

“What difference would it have made?!” Rembrandt shoves Mercy back with a hand on her chest. “Back the fuck off. Like Cleon said, either Swan got caught or she didn’t. Ajax wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it either way.”

“At least then we’d fucking know!” Mercy screams. “If you’d just cared enough about Swan to look, to fucking check if she was with you before you up and left her behind, maybe then we’d know if she was caught or if she ran another way or - or -“ Mercy’s voice breaks around the unspoken alternative, and she presses a hand to her mouth to muffle a strangled sob.

“Mercy -“ Cowgirl reaches for her, but Mercy shoves her way past them and disappears down the hall. The door to her and Swan’s bedroom slams shut a moment later.

“Fuck.” Ajax crumples back into her chair, burying her head in her hands. Rembrandt kneels down in front of her with a sigh, grabbing onto Ajax’s wrists and rubbing soothing circles into her skin.

“Come on,” Rembrandt murmurs softly. “Let’s get your hands cleaned up.”

Ajax blinks, looking down at her knuckles. They’re still split open and bleeding from the fight, but she hadn’t even registered the pain. Her body feels wired, heart pounding with adrenaline from her sprint here. Still, she nods and lets Rembrandt lead her over to the kitchen table, where Cochise joins them with the first aid kit.

Cochise is almost done, wrapping her knuckles carefully in bandages, when Ajax startles at a hand falling heavily on her shoulder. She looks up to find Cleon standing there, her gaze unfocused and jaw clenching as if she’s trying desperately to hold herself together. Ajax braces herself, expecting the worst.

But Cleon just inhales shakily and squeezes her shoulder. “It wasn’t your fault.”

Ajax doesn’t respond, keeping her eyes trained on the table in front of her. Cleon sighs, like she expected this. She squeezes her shoulder once more before letting go. “You’re still shaking. Go up to the roof with Rembrandt and try to calm down.”

She doesn’t phrase it as a request, so once Cochise finishes with her hands Ajax rises to her feet and heads out the door, Rembrandt right behind her.

Ajax immediately goes to lean against the railing, tilting her head to stare up at the night sky and willing her heart to return to a normal rhythm. She fishes a cigarette out from her pocket and holds it between trembling fingers.

“It wasn’t your fault.” Rembrandt leans into her side, echoing Cleon’s words. “I meant everything I said to Mercy. You couldn’t have done anything.”

“If someone had to stay behind it should’ve been me,” Ajax says quietly.

“Ajax -”

“No, you know it’s true. Swan’s our number two, the Warriors need her - Cleon needs her -”

“That doesn’t mean her life is worth more than yours -”

“But it is!” Ajax snaps, and they both freeze. She hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

“Ajax,” Rembrandt’s voice wavers around her name. Ajax stubbornly avoids her gaze, so Rembrandt reaches forward to cup her face. Their eyes meet, and Ajax swallows at the intensity she finds in Rembrandt’s. “I need you here. Do you understand that? I wouldn’t be able to handle you getting taken away again.”

Ajax huffs, but Rembrandt’s grip on her tightens. “I’m fucking serious. I could barely do it the first time around, I won’t survive having to do it again.”

“I don’t think I would either,” Ajax finally admits shamefully. She squeezes her eyes shut. “I fucking ran, Rem. Those cops showed up and it - it was like it was that night again and I couldn’t even move until Swan snapped me out of it, and then I couldn’t think of anything other than getting away and making it back to you. I - I was -” Ajax chokes on her words.

“Scared,” Rembrandt finishes for her, tugging Ajax forward. Ajax falls into her, burying her face into Rembrandt’s shoulder with a pathetic whimper as she starts to finally feel the events of the night come crashing down on her.

“I can’t go back there.” Her words are barely more than a whisper.

Rembrandt cups the back of her head. “You won’t. You made it back home to me, Ajax. That’s the most important thing.”

Ajax shudders, wrapping her arms tight around Rembrandt’s waist. Ajax has no idea how much time passes while they stay there, wrapped in each other's arms, swaying lightly. Eventually, she breaks the silence, mumbling, “Mercy’s never gonna forgive me for this. Swan might not either.”

Rembrandt frowns. “Swan told you to run and you did. Even if she did get caught, she wouldn’t hold it against you. You know Swan’s not like that.”

Ajax shrugs helplessly. “I don’t know anything when it comes to me and Swan anymore.”

Something a little sad flashes across Rembrandt’s face, but she doesn’t bother trying to dispute the claim. Instead she sighs, and they both shift to look over the railing.

“The thought of Swan and Mercy going through what we did…fuck, I can’t even stomach it,” Ajax says, staring down at her hands. She’s still dangling a cigarette loosely between her fingers, but she makes no effort to light it.

“We don’t know if she was caught,” Rembrandt reminds her quietly. “But…yeah. Me neither. If it’d been you they’d probably lock you away for longer, though, since you have a record from barely a few months ago. Maybe - maybe we’d be able to get Swan out faster.”

Ajax shakes her head. “Swan spent half her childhood in juvie. Her record’s worse than mine is.”

“Fuck.” Rembrandt swallows harshly. “We don’t know if she was caught.” She repeats the words, though Ajax suspects she’s trying to reassure herself just as much. They desperately hold on to this shred of hope.

+++++

Eventually, Ajax and Rembrandt head back down to join the others in Cleon’s apartment. Mercy’s come out of her room, her eyes red rimmed, but she doesn’t look in Ajax’s direction. Ajax isn’t sure if that’s better or worse.

They heat up leftovers from the fridge, but no one seems to have much of an appetite. A silence settles heavily over the apartment.

There’s nothing to do but wait.

The night drags on, but there’s no sign of Swan. Cochise and Cowgirl have sprawled out on the floor in a nest of blankets, both of them having dozed off a few hours in. Rembrandt is half conscious against Ajax’s shoulder on the couch. Mercy paces through the apartment like a caged animal, while Cleon sits by the phone and stares at the door. Despite the night she’s had, Ajax can’t bring herself to sleep, so she watches Rembrandt and tries to quiet the voices in her head screaming that this is her fault.

The sun is just starting to rise when there’s the distinct sound of a key scraping the lock of the front door. Ajax startles so violently that she knocks Rembrandt’s head from where it was resting, and her girlfriend blinks awake. Cleon and Mercy are across the room in half a second, yanking the door open.

Ajax barely catches a glimpse of Swan before Mercy is throwing herself at her, both of them stumbling into the hallway. Mercy’s yelling, and she can hear Swan murmuring reassurances to try and calm her down, and the commotion has Cochise and Cowgirl jerking awake. The two of them scramble to their feet when they realize what’s going on, rushing towards the door and hollering excitedly. Eventually, Swan seems to manage to extricate herself from Mercy’s grip, and Ajax hears the first thing she asks.

“Where’s Ajax?” Swan’s voice is low, dangerous, and Rembrandt immediately tenses next to her.

Ajax squeezes her hand, murmuring quickly, “Don’t try to get in between us.”

“But -”

“Please. Let me handle it.”

Rembrandt clenches her jaw, but nods reluctantly, and Ajax rises unsteadily to her feet. The others finally move enough to let Swan through and into the apartment, and she sees Swan’s eyes frantically scan over the living room before landing on her. Swan looks rough, covered in grime and sweat, and there’s a few scrapes along her exposed skin and rips in her clothes. Her knuckles look much like Ajax’s did, bruised and bloody, but she doesn’t seem injured beyond that. There’s something wild in Swan’s expression that sets Ajax on edge.

“Swan. I -” Ajax doesn’t get to finish her sentence, because suddenly Swan is crossing the room and gripping onto the front of her shirt. Ajax braces herself for a blow.

But a blow never comes. Instead, Swan is yanking her forward into a fierce embrace, burying her head into Ajax’s shoulder. Ajax shares a wide eyed look with Rembrandt, and finds the other Warriors seem equally dumb founded. Cleon's expression morphs into a sad smile, and she nods at Ajax.

Ajax doesn’t hesitate, wrapping her arms around Swan’s back and fisting her hands in the back of her vest, holding her just as tightly. Swan’s trembling slightly against her, but Ajax’s movement prompts her to relax even further into the enforcer’s body, letting out a relieved exhale. Ajax feels something settle in her chest, and she lets her own body finally relax, her head falling forward to rest against Swan’s.

Swan pulls away first, but it’s only enough to lean her forehead against Ajax’s in a gesture that used to be normal for them, but Ajax can’t help the strangled gasp that escapes her at the motion. There’s tears threatening to slip down her cheeks, but she doesn’t move to put any distance between them, instead stares down at Swan and finds the same vulnerability staring back at her. She can’t remember the last time her and Swan even looked this closely at each other, much less without all their carefully guarded walls.

“Are you okay?”

“Am I okay?” Ajax scoffs wetly. “Are you?”

Swan nods slowly. “Yeah. Better now.”

Ajax flexes her fingers in the fabric of Swan’s vest before splaying her palms out, feeling the rapid pounding of Swan’s heart. She finds she can breathe easier knowing Swan’s here, that she’s alive, that she won’t have to go through what Ajax went through at the hands of those fucking cops.

“I’m sorry.”

Swan furrows her brow, leaning back slightly to look at Ajax properly and tilting her head. Ajax meets her gaze, hoping Swan can read her expression and understand everything Ajax is trying to say with those two words.

And Swan does, because she nods again and wraps Ajax in another hug. “Yeah. Me too.”

Ajax feels like a weight has been lifted off her chest when her and Swan finally separate from each other. The corner of her mouth lifts in a tentative smile. “You look like shit, by the way.”

Swan huffs out a laugh, shoving lightly at Ajax’s shoulder, and Ajax’s heart leaps at the familiar gesture. Their moment’s broken by Rembrandt pushing past Ajax and jumping at Swan, her arms wrapping around Swan’s neck.

Swan stumbles slightly in surprise, but a split second later she’s hugging Rembrandt back, lifting the tagger off of her feet. Ajax knows the tension between her and Swan has affected Rembrandt’s relationship with her too, and she can’t help but grin at the sight of them now. She glances past them and spots Cochise and Cowgirl excitedly nudging each other. Cleon’s got a relieved smile growing on her face, and Ajax thinks maybe all the Warriors have been desperate for Ajax and Swan to sort their shit out.

Well - almost all of them. Mercy’s staring at Ajax with narrowed eyes, her mouth twisted to the side. Ajax looks away.

Swan finally sets Rembrandt back on her feet, and Ajax catches the quiet words Rembrandt whispers to her.

“Thank you for getting her home.”

Swan nods, and Rembrandt finds her way to Ajax’s side as Mercy takes her place wrapped around Swan, holding on like she’s worried Swan will slip through her fingers. Ajax knows the feeling.

“So,” Cowgirl drawls. “Where the hell have you been? You were gone for hours.”

“Why didn’t you run with Ajax?” Cleon narrows her eyes, and Swan sighs heavily like she’d been expecting this question.

“They had two patrol cars, and even if we got away I didn’t want them sniffing around so close to where we all live. So I ran the other way. Well - I chucked a rock through their window and then ran the other way.”

Ajax can’t stop herself from snorting at that. Mercy and Cleon make varying noises of disapproval, but Swan ignores them.

“I led them on a chase halfway across the island before finding a spot to lay low until they were gone. Assholes stuck around for longer than I hoped they would, but once they fucked off I came straight back.”

They all look at Cleon, waiting. Cleon pinches the bridge of her nose and inhales heavily.

“You can’t be mad at me for this - I made the right call!” Swan defends herself preemptively from the oncoming lecture.

“I’m not mad at you.” Cleon pauses, reconsidering. “Well maybe a little for throwing a rock through a cop’s window.”

Swan winces, and Ajax presses a hand to her mouth to muffle another amused chuckle.

“Hey, maybe we finish this conversation later? Sounds like Swan’s had a long night,” Ajax says, studying Swan. If Ajax was tired from the sprint back home, she can only imagine how drained Swan must be after getting chased all night.

She notices how heavily Swan’s leaning against Mercy, the exhaustion that clings to her expression, and she knows she’s right. Cleon seems to come to the same conclusion.

“Yeah. I think we’re all in need of some sleep. Swan, let Cochise bandage your knuckles and any other rough scrapes and then go to bed. Everyone else, find somewhere to sleep, I don’t want anyone leaving this apartment just yet.”

Swan throws Ajax a grateful smile, collapsing into a chair at the kitchen table. Mercy stands behind her, and Swan leans her head back against Mercy’s stomach and lets her eyes flutter shut. Mercy carefully brushes her hair back from her face, and it’s a testament to how exhausted Swan must be because she holds her hands out for Cochise without complaint.

Ajax busies herself with helping Rembrandt and Cleon distribute pillows and blankets. Cowgirl’s already returned to her nest on the floor, well on her way to sleep. Cochise works quickly, determining none of the other scrapes require attention and telling Mercy to take her girl to bed before she passes out on the table.

A small smile curls at Ajax’s lips as she watches Swan grumble discontentedly when Mercy coaxes her out of the chair. She tugs Swan down towards their bedroom, but Swan pauses in the living room. The night seems to have fully caught up to her now, but she stumbles groggily towards where the other three Warriors are standing by the couch. She reaches Rembrandt first, wrapping the smaller girl in a brief hug. Cleon’s grabbing her the moment the two separate, and Ajax can practically see the relief pouring off the warchief in waves as she nearly suffocates Swan in her grip, prompting half hearted protests. Cleon presses a kiss to the top of Swan’s head before finally letting go.

Ajax fidgets awkwardly for a moment, but Swan falls easily into her, and Ajax hugs back just as fiercely.

She finds Mercy staring at her over Swan’s head, and Ajax leaves her expression open for Mercy to read whatever she wants from it. Mercy’s eyes shift to where Swan is leaning heavily against Ajax, her head nestled comfortable under Ajax’s chin.

Mercy softens, and when she looks at Ajax again she nods in acknowledgement. Ajax returns it. It’s not perfect, but it’s enough for now.

Later, Mercy and Swan have disappeared to their room, and Rembrandt is fast asleep on top of Ajax on the couch. She can hear Cowgirl’s quiet snores on the other side of the room. Cochise is bunking with Cleon, and Ajax assumes both of them are fast asleep too. Ajax stares up at the ceiling, breathing slow as she gets lost in her head.

She can finally admit to herself that yeah - today was fucking terrifying. But only because she has so much to lose.

Maybe this whole being emotionally vulnerable thing wasn’t so bad, though.

Rembrandt shifts against her, nuzzling in closer, and Ajax settles into a feeling of warm contentment.

They’ll be okay.