#like if this is the way my brain has chosen to cope with that feeling of loneliness and helplessness

[twilight-good-yall-dumb]

I'm realizing that the reason I feel so deeply attached to things I loved as a kid probably has something to do with the way I don't feel that attachment with my parents. Like yeah, I'm going to be devastated when the member of a band I've loved for over half of my life dies because he was there for me when my own parents weren't. And yeah, I'm going to feel ridiculous adoration for the woman who writes and sings songs about love and heartbreak who I've been singing along to since I was a child because she's shown me what love could be when my own mother couldn't set that example. And yeah, I'm going to love a cozy atmospheric piece of media because I felt comfortable living inside of that world when my own home growing up was never a place of reprieve. etc etc etc

[dark-l-angel]

if you want requests, I am so delulu, I'm stuck in my own world 24/7 and my brain refuses to stop.....

Jason, who growing up had a crush on reader, but being the clueless person we are we have no clue (I swear it's a curse, I genuinely don't know that someone is into me until they say it. No flirting computes with me) but then the whole- ya know, not living thing happens.... The thing that leads up to Red Hood (I refuse to say it) and reader is later confronted by either Dick or Alfred at the funeral and they're like

“You know he like you, right?” and readers response is

“Not as much as I loved him”

which I guess causes a whole sad thing that I can't cope with, so you decide what happens from there, but basically the ending is when Jason is not the scary evil Red Hood anymore but more the Jason people fantasize about, he tells reader how he feels and IDK man something cute and fluffy, my brain is just sad all the time so all I have is the sad stuff.

Anyways, this is a lot longer than I thought it would be, but here it is, please ignore it if it's weird or too much 😅

have a nice day, peace out ✌️

Princess, believe it or not i had hundreds of scenarios to this situation at fucking 5 a.m when i was ab to pass my bachelor exam *I'm talking math day 💀

And having your own world is nice actually.. ❤ at least you have an escape place from painful reality and ur comfort character is hugging you in your rough times. Hope happiness strikes you like jason's beauty did to me 😃💝 love u deeply 💖

Reunion

Jason todd x fem!reader

"You know that he liked you.. right?" Dick's voice ringed in your ear.. even after all this time.. it's like it happened yesterday..

Thinking while staring at a book jason used to read when you both were younger.. before.. that incident..

You put the book away and picked another, you shared the same love of books with jason, that explains why you become a loyal customer to libraries and coffee shops.

It was always a sad thing to go to libraries, yet it felt like happiness to you.. finally some freedom from this cruel world. You don't have to suffer through reading some simple lines with deep meanings.. in fact, it changed you 360 degrees, your vision to the world has changed since ever jason introduced you to the books.

You were walking around the library while hugging different books, looking carefully through the shelves of another chosen one, Losing all connections with your world, not feeling a specific guy staring at you in admiration.

Your eye fallen on an interesting novel, but it was on the top shelf. You tried to reach it but failed, and you got that idea of reaching it through another book was by your hand. You did, the novel is coming out, but still not enough, you had to put extra efforts by standing on the top of your toes.

"Too bad short angel can't reach her little novel" a tall handsome man was towering you from behind, you looked up and his eyes fell into yours, green emerald eyes inspecting your angelic features in admiration carefully *while you took your time to enjoy his mesmerizing gorgeous beauty like the little whore you and i will do*.

He smirked before looking back to the novel and pulling it out for you, gosh he was handsome, but.. you could swear you know him from somewhere.

He reads the title loud before saying "damn baby girl you've got some pretty good taste out there.. i like it" he smirked "oh thanks, I've always liked that type of stuff especially when *author name* added his pov of the topic.." he laughed.

As you both sat at a coffee shop and continued babbling ab different books to different subjects.. almost everything.. as if you actually know this person years ago, the problem was that you weren't the type to get comfy to people easily.. so what's the matter with this guy?.

Probably his smile that cached your mind? or his emerald eyes and their beauty? his funny jocks? Or it's your shared likings? Or the fact that he was the only person to be able to crack his way through your dead heart and plant a rose of adoration that was meant only for him? The only person to have the ability to warm your heart after all these years? Or him being the reason of your tears of laughter?... sooo much questions going through your head.

You finally managed to ask him.. " i feel like i know you from years, never had fun like this since then.. do i know you by any chance?" You said while wiping away the tears of laughing on his stories.

"You didn't recognize me y/n?" You didn't tell him your name yet.. how would he- "i missed you so much actually... i have been thinking about you in everything i was doing back then, dick might probably told you about it, yet i still do think about you all the time..." you watch the man goes on.. but dick? He spoke about jason only.. and jason is.. gone.. "you forget me y/n?" That can be..

He smiled staring at you in pure love and admiration and adoration.. "It's jason.. the dumb boy who fell dumber in love with you, angel ♡".

Hope you like it ❤ baby gurl was here 😘

[awkwardandeccentric]

I’ve written before about how I think Stolas self-sabotages and I think another example is lending the grimoire to Blitzø.

Tw for suicidal ideation, abusive familial dynamics.

Think about it. He could get in a lot of trouble by letting an imp handle his grimoire. Yet, here he is lending it out to not only an imp, but that imp’s employees and hellhound child. They’re not even subtle about it! It’s in the commercial. It’s in the Sinstagram photos. Octavia knows where to find the grimoire when she sneaks out. Blitzø told Striker on their first meeting. No one is taking keeping this quiet seriously, not even the guy who could get seriously fucked by this getting out.

My guess? He wants it to get out.

A lot of us with brains who are telling us to kill ourselves self-sabotage. We isolate from friends. We pick up terrible coping mechanisms. We intentionally put ourselves in triggering situations. I think what Stolas is subconsciously, as I don’t think he’s actually consciously thinking any of this, is that he wants an out of his very abusive dynamic but doesn’t want to be the one to pack up and leave.

I can’t blame him for that. My dad left two abusive marriages and I saw the toll it took on him. He aged decades in a matter of months. He lost most of his friends. He had to start over in a brand new state. He doesn’t work in his chosen field anymore and he doesn’t particularly like the job he has. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

I think Stolas wants the choice to live or die to be made for him. Leaving an abusive marriage is terrifying. Leaving an abusive marriage in an abusive cult is even worse. He has no money-making prospects, no home outside the one he inherited from his father, no support system, he burnt the one bridge he had, and he may never see Octavia again. But what if the decision was made for him? What if the higher ups found out about their little secret and made the decision to kill him? He never has to tell anyone anything about what Paimon did to him, or Stella, or anyone else. He doesn’t have to own the fact that he was abused for nearly 40 years and without a precautionary heir being quite literally forced upon him, he could have had a life he actually enjoyed.

I think his survival instincts are kicking in just enough that he’s not personally broadcasting any of this (he gets pissed in Truthseekers about Blitzø inadvertently revealing the existence of demons) but he also wants to be caught just enough that he’s not really drilling in the importance of keeping this quiet, or what could actually happen to him if the big bosses find out (and granted, we don’t actually know what’ll happen to him. He might be killed, or exiled, or become a sexual sacrifice. We won’t know for a while. But he does).

Or he did feel that way. But then he took his life back, thanks partially to Blitzø for giving him just a taste of what fighting for what he wants can bring him. Except now it’s too late. After fighting tooth and nail for the ability to make a single choice for the first time, it will be made for him.

Be careful what you wish for.

[strayheartless]

So I don’t know if I’m ever really going to be able to write it coherently because it’s a mess of an idea but I need it out of my brain box. But I have an idea for a fic I’ll probably never write -because as I say ✨coherency✨- and it kinda goes like this:

Cloud is a pretty lonely kid. Even when Tifa tries to include him, he struggles socially and the others don’t really like him. As a way of coping with this Cloud falls back on his imagination and essentially creates the entire universe of kingdom hearts in his head like a maladaptive daydream to cope with his situation.

He has drawings of Sora and the gang all over his room and every note book is filled with complicated plots and backgrounds and ideas for characters. His Ma worries that he spends too much time in his own head. However, she quickly realised that moving his drawings and Writing causes him great distress so she tries to leave them be.

For Cloud Sora is an extension of the outgoing hero he wants to be. The kid who wasn’t necessarily the chosen one but is the best version of himself and is the hero because he’s good.

Riku is his sephiroth type character. He’s the cool kid that everybody wants to be like, and just like us he lives for torturing his blorbo. What Clouds not really aware of as he writes though is that Riku becomes more and more like an extension of himself. There’s an intense loneliness to his character and a repression of something Cloud is really not ready to look at.

Kairi is probably his romanticisation of Tifa and an extension of Clouds own desire to protect the people that matter to him most. Sora wants to protect kairi in the same way Cloud wants to protect Tifa. But like Tifa as the Kairi develops she has a certain strength of her own and a story worth telling.

More characters develop along the way and by the time he joins shinra military he’s got a whole fantasy world (or worlds in this case) planned out in his head that consumes his every waking minute.

Cut to being in the army and Clouds usually got a small field journal with him that he uses like an ideas book that’s full of scribbles and drawings. He’s incredibly territorial about the notebook and has gotten into altercations over it multiple times.

By this point he’s established some other stories. Sora feels really distant to him and he can’t quite reach him. It’s upsetting but around the time he meets Zack Ventus sort of emerges from nowhere.

Ven is quirky, he’s a bit silly and a lot sarcastic. But he’s smiley and friendly and exactly the person Cloud is around a certain second Class soldier…

Hiding his sketches from Zack was never an option. He was never going to get away with carrying his journal around without Zack popping up over his shoulder to ask “whattcha doooin’?”. Once Zack got a little snap shot into Clouds world(s) he wanted to grill Cloud about it every time they hang out. What Zack doesn’t really get though, is that for Cloud it’s not a story… not really.

These are Clouds friends. This is where he feels safest. Being able to talk of them makes them more tangible more real and when the Genesis war starts to get that bit more tense Cloud is stuck in his head As Sora and Riku make a reappearance.

Waking Dreams and nightmares plague Cloud for hours to the point of exhaustion because there’s someone on his island! Someone who shouldn’t be. Zack suddenly gets the feeling that maybe there’s something a little off about Clouds stories. He unfortunately gets his answer when he opens the door to Clouds room in the barracks and finds him crying into his knees and rocking.

“He opened the door, he opened it Zack! He shouldn’t have done that!”

“Who? What door Cloud? Where’s your head at bud?”

“Riku! He opened the door to darkness”

From that point on Zack is very careful about how he approaches Clouds stories. He notices Clouds staring; the times when he will start crying for no reason; nights when Zack will come to get him for dinner and find him scribbling out drawings of dark little shadows and a sword that looks like a key… The night before sephiroth burns down Nibelhiem Zack leaves Cloud scribbling a drawing of Ansem rising up covered by a monster gagged with bandages.

…..

When cloud dreams in the Mako pod it’s confusing. He dreams of Sora Trapped in a white room. He dreams that none of his friends know him and that Riku isn’t what he remembers. He dreams of some of his lesser characters in Black coats and his brain confuses Ventus and Sora to make Roxas.

He dreams that Lea is no longer Lea he’s Axel. He dreams of Kairi with Black hair and Blue eyes but she’s not Kairi she’s- shes…. Xion? He dreams that there’s a girl that’s making Sora forget things, and he’s struggling to remember things himself.

He dreams that Riku won’t show anybody his eyes. What’s wrong with his eyes?! He dreams and dreams and dreams of Sephiroth, in the colosseum, in Radient Garders… no Hollo- hollow bastion… why are you here?!

Get out get out get out get out!

GET OUT!

…..

……..

When Cloud wakes up in the sector seven train station the first thing he registers is that summer vacation is over. No that’s not right. They were going to the beach right? Roxas and Heyner and Pence and Ollette. They were going to the beach, to get pretzels and watermelon and…

Sora?

He blinks and he’s lying on his back in a bed on stargazer hights and When Sora Cries so does he. Why is Sora crying? Where is Roxas?

There’s a tower surrounded by stars, and a wizard who tells Sora that the darkness still exists. He tells him about Nobodies that are the husks of people who have lost their hearts and Cloud wonders if he is a nobody too…

There’s a black feather in the underworld. And one on Mount Olympus when Sora parks the Gummi ship. Cloud thinks someone should be running to meet them with a big smile and questions about Terra… no that’s not right?

There’s a figure in a black coat in hollow ba- radient- hollow bastion. And another one in the underworld. Half way up a mountain in the land of dragons there’s another one, different from the others who won’t fight back.

As Avalanche reach Kalm Cloud makes a beeline for an art supply shop and suddenly there’s flowers in radiant garden again.

When he gets splashed with Mako in Corel he’s sees Riku and Roxas in loveless avenue. No that’s not right. What… what is this place.

“Come on sora, you can do better then that!”

“Oh yeah look which one of us is winning!”

“Stop by once me and him are both hero’s!”

“Oh so never come back!”

… Hello?

This is where I got up to with this idea and I can’t figure out the rest of it, but it’s been bugging me for months. So ✨here✨

[childrenofcain-if]

Hi! I want to start by warning that this will probably be a long rant about how much i love your IFs. But first, I hope you feel better soon!

The first IF of yours i played was the pjo one, which sent me down a rabbit hole of going through the rest of them (still haven't played tcs but i will soon 🤞🏻). It was just BAFFLING how people could be so purposefully ignorant about the concept of fanfiction and accused you over and over of plagiarism like, please go outside and touch grass, clearly the internet has stopped your brain from developing critical thinking.

Anyways, the adaptation was so well done and faithful while also exuding a newness to it that i am very excited to see unravel. I understand at the moment it has been paused (and I don't know if you've addressed why it's no longer up) and i hope with time you can feel comfortable with it again. None of the shit you've gotten was deserved or even understandable but alas, it still happened. As a content creator myself, i truly truly sympathize with you. I hope these words offer some comfort, however small.

Same goes for WLB, but the awe at how descriptive and raw your writing is really peaked through in something of your own creation. I find myself revisiting it and experiencing the exhilaration from my first reading all over again. I can't wait to watch everyone around my mc descend into eldritch madness as they become more and more unhinged. Consequences of my own actions? Never heard of them, i want my mc to go apeshit!

Now, gods where do i start... TBOTYG is *chef's kiss* flawless, i never thought i could become so obsessed with anything with only one part. I awaited the demo with baited breath, already anticipating all the ways you would surprise and impress (and you did). Every choice, every scenario, the way you build your plot and characters, your descriptions (I don't know if you can tell that I'm a little too hung up on the writing aspect of it) of characters and actions and feelings. The amount of work and effort you put into characterization is so very clear and it feels very freeing to have that amount of control over a character that we're supposed to "relate" to (in the context of the narrative, almost as if living vicariously through them). i think that no matter how much time passes, your IFs will remain a staple in the community and every player who finds your gems will feel blessed and changed after playing.

It's gotten to the point I've created a whole google doc of my MC, and made fake ig accounts with interactions (just for myself, to cope with the anticipation) and this is a level of commitment I've only felt with my own OCs and works. In such a short time, your IFs have carved a deep space for themselves in my life. I find myself replaying and going through their official pages religiously even though I've read every post already.

a question! will every LI's gender be chosen individually? I'm wondering because C and D are suitmates, but is it doable if they're different genders? same for mc and V. I'm thinking yes but also wanted to be sure

Honestly very very sorry for the long rant, I'm sure you have better things to do 😭😭 but i had the uncontrollable urge to express my feelings on your art and it took me an entire day of trying to talk myself out of it (i failed).

(also, here's my mc's profile and dm box. her royal highness maxine's ig profile is private btw. going for c route first. Mitică is the romanian diminutive for the name Dimitru, and opsis is an ancient greek concept i thought would fit V)

i’m speechless (sentimentally), dear reader 😭 i still can’t believe some people would take the time out of their day to think about my silly little worlds and the characters in it, less of all like how i’ve written my works. every single time i hit a writer’s block or have the whole doxxing trauma flare up again, i think of quitting but it’s the urge to write stories and the joy of sharing it with everyone that is still keeping me going.

i can’t explain how much your words mean to me because this is what i write for. to have people relate to or identify with or adore the world and characters i’ve built is such a dream within itself. from the bottom of my heart, i am thankful for every single reader who has always been nothing but supportive from day one. if elias has his apple, i have y’all. and no, it doesn’t mean y’all can have my meagre inheritance but it’s the sentiment that counts.

to answer your question, every single LIs gender will be selectable! blackthorne hall has individual bedrooms per suite so y’all will only be sharing the common areas and kitchenette with V while having your own personal space. it’s more like an apartment than a usual college dorm tbh.

oh and please, rant away! i’d love nothing more than to hear about your MCs and the various headcanons, questions, or theories you might have!

(also please knock C down a few pegs, they desperately need it 😔)

[orgaslink]

Things to say after kissing. #18 with Legend and your choice!

Stormy! Thank you for the ask and I'm sorry it's taken so long.

There were so many options I could have chosen but apparently my brain chose Ravio.

Under the cut for length.

There comes a point when tension becomes so taut a snap is inevitable. Like a coiled spring that has been under far too much pressure for far too long suddenly releasing the tension in a significant and sometimes volatile explosion of energy.

For weeks now, Legend’s quaint little home had become stifling, every molecule seemingly compressed under a rock that had Legend feeling claustrophobic. Except, there was no rock, yet the pressure was palpable and getting heavier with every passing day. At this rate, he would ground his molars into dust with his furious clenching.

The cause of Legend’s woe? Him. The hooded menace that was the freeloading merchant who has taken to humming and whistling to himself in a cheery way that grates on Legend’s last nerve until finally–

SNAP!Footsteps stomping across the floor are Ravio’s only warning before he is nose to nose with an irritated hero, his whistled tune trailing off as his hood is knocked back by the force of Legend yanking him by the collar and pulling him close enough that Ravio can see the vein in Legend’s neck pulsing in barely contained anger.

“Now, listen here. I’ve been more than fair with you letting you turn my home into some kind of rental shop, I’ve put up with feathers everywhere from that winged beast you call a pet–” When Ravio opened his mouth to speak, the snarl on Legend’s face made him close it pretty sharpish. Probably best to wait until Link has said what he needs to, don’t poke the bear and all that.

“I can just about tolerate seeing this ridiculous purple hood everyday. Hell, I can even cope with you using my hairbrush and not cleaning it out. But the noise, Ravio? The annoying whistling and the nonsensical humming? Nope, na-ah, no way.”

“Mister hero, I–” Ravio’s protests or whatever it was he was going to say fall short.

“I’m not finished. If you can’t keep yourself quiet, I’ll have to do it for you.”

Before Ravio can question, Legend’s hot breath was ghosting against his lips. Hesitant, Legend waited for Ravio to pull away, allowing him the chance to give an indication as to if he’s okay with Legend’s action. The way Ravio’s breath hitched and he leant in closer gave Legend his answer.

In an instant, Ravio’s eyes were closed so tightly, he was seeing stars. Or maybe that was from the tongue plunging into his mouth and tangling with his own. It was difficult to tell really. The dizziness he was feeling could also be because of said kiss stealing his breath away or from the sheer unexpectedness to be playing tonsil tennis with someone he never considered was a possibility.

Yet here he was. Engaged in a saliva swap with none other than Legend. Fuck.

Legend’s kisses are as intense as his stares, as deep as his eyes and as rough as his personality. And Ravio was here for every single delightful second of it.

“O-kay,” Ravio is breathless when they finally part for air, lips shining with the evidence of their activity. “Should we dissect what just happened here? How are we feeling right now?” Ravio grins, exposing the gap in his teeth that Legend secretly thinks is cute (he would never admit it).

“Fuck you. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Ravio’s laugh followed Legend as the hero dropped his grip from the merchant and turned to leave, they can talk about this later when Ravio isn’t being such a smug and insufferable bastard.

At least he wasn’t whistling anymore, the giggling Legend could cope with.

Maybe.

[goodboyaudios]

Hello Hello Gb, I’ve returned to give you more praise on your creativity and questions.

1. How do you decide which theme of music fits best for each of the Orrerian Giants? 

2. Is Poseidon's chariot actually shaped like a chariot or is it more like a car or another vehicle?

3. Is Posiedons appearance modeled after his VA’s (@DadeAudio) appearance, like with the leather jacket and stuff?

4. Since Pandora was the one who created Polythemus, does that technically make them the mother while Posiedon is the father?

5. The big three have golden leaf crowns but instead, is it possible that Persephone would have a golden flower in her hair to symbolize her relation to spring and the other giants have different objects based on their aesthetics as well?

6. Am I allowed the theorise that: One, Persephone is actually dead and Hades writes letters to her in order to cope with the loss? And two, some sort of fight broke out between Hades family in the past which involved Persephone which is why they're all so estranged with one another, even though he said they have no issues with each other?

7. Why do the giants look like that of stone yet don’t have the same components as stone? Do all the Orrerian's share this attribute or is it just Hades and his siblings?

8. What do Hades and Pandora do together when they're not working on Ambrosia?

9. How big is Cerberus when compared to Pandora?

10. How come Zeus has red highlights in her hair while her siblings don’t and do a few others share this trait with her?

Sorry if I ask too many questions but your continuous creative genius ceases to amaze me and I admire that from you! Good sir, your decisions in the field of script writing make my brain work over time.

1. Tbh, I don't, lol! I just fond music that fits the current themes and emotions I want people to feel.

2. It's essentially a Harley lol

3. Actually, no! I just wanted him to look like a biker uncle! Dade was chosen after!

4. I prefer to think of Thoosa, Poseidon's workshop, as his mother. While Pandora did technically take charge in building Polyphemus, I think Pandora has enough on their plate to deal with outside of being a mother lol

5. It's possible!

6. You can do whatever you want, lol! Doesn't affect me or the story, lol

7. WHY do they look like they're made of stone? Well, there's no small answer to this question, but the simple answer is, I love the aesthetic of Greek statues and wondered what an alien race would look like based on them. So yes, they all look like that on one way or another.

8. Play with Cerberus, eat, sleep, read, look at all the weird things Hades and Poseidon have found, etc...

9. About the same height, 7 feet tall.

10. That's just a Zeus thing. Though, her children may show that trait too.

[ohwolfling]

So I re-read your "Gale gets a bj" fic, because it's one of my favorite things, and I was wondering... do you think Gale immediately starts finding it easier to let Tav do things for him/to him in bed, or does it take a while, with maybe some or a lot of protesting/fussing until he can relax and enjoy it? And I guess the same question out of bed as well: when does he let himself be taken care of by someone other than Tara?

First, thank you so much for reading and rereading. I'm glad it resonates. 💖

What I think is so appealing about any relationship dynamic in Baldur's Gate 3 is that inherently these people have to lean on one another. You have to be open enough to say when you need to rest, when your personal shit will heighten danger or offer a boon. You eat together. You camp together. And when you add romance to that... it's romance born of your worst circumstances so to some extent your worst self. So in little ways, Gale (& everyone) are forced into this sort of communal openness.

I think that a Gale who gets to go on and live a life, especially with a partner he trusts, is probably thrilled by trust. It's scary but it's a but it's an adrenaline rush. You're dealing with that buzzy, chaotic feeling of being in love, the confusing cocktail of emotions after several near death experiences, and you keep doing this Big NoNo- WANTING, TRUSTING- but instead of certain doom you just get your needs met or you compromise or even if you get a no you get to live and read a book and make pasta or whatever.

So I think that by the time Gale and Tav are building a deeper relationship or even an entire life together some of the MANY walls he has up as Wizard of Waterdeep™️ and Mystra's Chosen™️ are down for Tav. They might pop up in unexpected places - you don't know your triggers until they trigger you- but most of the time Gale is open to being Gale.

Here's my idea of that timeline, results may vary depending on your Tav or your interpretation of Gale, but ya know:

1-3 months post danger of knee-jerk "anything you need? Is this good? No but I can make this a celestial four way, are you sure?" And because Gale thought he was gonna ctrl alt del after that first time with Tav, he accepts the let's bone normal because I want YOU thing and so is comfortable accepting it each time. His acts of service extend far past the bedroom so I imagine this time period probably has a lot of panic attacks or just so worked up he's vibrating about like... bringing breakfast in bed, trying to make EVERY DINNER a romantic dinner, stuff like that.

Performance giving sex god Gale is a thing he actually enjoys but I really think that goes on for A WHILE. I don't think that stops until Tav stops it (the choice I made for the fic) or some other big thing occurs that flips the switch in his brain into, "oh, we're just... we're together and no one is leaving over a bad mood or a bad day." Theres definitely space here too for potential breaks or break ups honestly because in having no boundaries he might accidentally disrespect his partner's boundaries or start shutting down himself without realizing it because ultimately one way relationships make him miserable... but he doesn't know anything else.

But outside of that, if he has a partner who will communicate with him and meet him where he is, if he has wizard therapy, if he has the tools and support system to unpack the abusive god marriage he escaped, I don't think he's someone who fusses or protests. It is very clear (to me at least) that Gale's people pleasing, performing, and chasing of greatness were maladaptive coping mechanisms born from a boy who genuinely wanted to care for people and animals and loves entertaining people and loves learning. Gale is so interesting because his flaws aren't the opposite of him. He's very much himself. His traits just mutated to navigate wizard academia, Waterdhavian politics, & an abusive relationship he was groomed into through all of it, from childhood. If pleasing and teasing him makes his partner happy, that's ultimately his goal.

I'll say too that while I think Gale's default in a mortal relationship would be a kind of submission I am very pro Soft Dom Gale. I don't think Gale would have any framework in the timeline of the game to consider that sex can be a fluid give and take, that domination doesn't need to be godhood or invented orgasm heaven, that the dynamics of a relationship and the existence of love will remain unchanged or even strengthened by that sort of exploration sexually. With Mystra, intimacy is a CHALLENGE. A test. She teased him with a bigger world of magic, a space and a home only she could get to, and I think a common misread is that he wanted to dominate her... but if he talks to the mirror in the little hidden wizard workshop about his desires his true desire and being home, in his tower, and it being a safe haven for him and a partner. Gale wanted equality. Gale wanted to take her home or else become worthy of her home.

That was A LOT but I have so many thoughts about Gale!!!

[harrywavycurly]

I saw you say sorry for sadness but honestly Sarah just hit me with it plz

Hiii lovey!! I am in my sad girl era right now 🥺 I see you’re also in your sad human era? 🙈

TW: mentions of death

But really the main idea that’s been swirling around in my brain is just Eddie going about his day too day life like going to work, hanging with his Hellfire crew and coming home to his apartment and making it seem like everything is fine but in reality he still hears you talking to him in his mind and sometimes even sees you as if you’re still alive. Anyone who looked at him wouldn’t know that as he’s staring at the frozen pizza options at the mini mart he is actually having an internal argument with you about which one to buy.

“I’m telling you that you’ll like the five cheese because it’s simple and you like simple when it comes to pizza.” Your voice is teasing in his mind as he looks at the cheese pizza you suggest he gets.

“Yeah but I’m trying to be more adventurous.” He thinks to himself and to you making him smirk as he reaches for a supreme pizza. “If I don’t like it then I’ll let you tell me I told you so how about that?” He hears the sound of your laugh in his head and it makes his chest tighten because he’s always loved how cute you looked when you laughed and it’s one of the things he misses most is being able to hear and watch your face as you laugh especially when it’s at him.

“Deal but maybe grab the cheese one as a backup just in case.” Eddie just does what you say and grabs the cheese one as well before heading to the front of the store. He smiles at the girl checking him out as she scans the two frozen pizzas and the six pack of beer. “She’s cute.” Eddie ignores your voice as he hands her his ID. “You know you need to move on Eddie.” Your voice is soft and it’s almost like Eddie can feel your breath on his neck like you’re practically whispering it into his ear.

“Then stop popping up unannounced and talking to me so much.” Eddie argues as he slides his card so he can pay for his items.

“Eddie…” He hates how he knows exactly what your face would look like if you said that while standing in front of him, your eyes would be soft as you look up at him with concern written all over your features. “I’m not real.” He just grabs his bags after telling the girl thank you and heads to his van.

“I know.” He doesn’t mean to say it out loud as he sits in his van, he knows your voice and even the moments he sees you are all just ways his mind has chosen to cope with your death. “I’m not ready.” And with that he puts his keys in the ignition and heads home to his tiny one bedroom apartment for a pizza and beer night where you’ll argue with him some more over what movie to watch.

[winvyre]

OC-tober But I Have No Prompts And Just Do Whatever I Want: Day 16

SUPER LONG POST!!!!

Originally my version of a Glitter Force series (that show altered my brain chemistry), a combination of three total generations and various artistic outputs of general magical girl brainrot has produced [Magical Girl Show].

From left to right (Name/Alias): Elodie/Peony, Adita/Cirque, Megha/Sukha, Imani/Lemondrop.

Each girl's design is based on her insecurities and interests (it goes with the whole "magic comes from the heart lore). All the good stuff is under the cut!

Protagonists:

Elodie had to grow up too fast and she likes gardening so her theme is flower. She was placed in a caregiver role when she was pretty young because her mother fell ill, her father isn't very paternal (he's always away on business, only ever dropping in occassionally to buy back his kids' affection with gifts or mailing in a check to cover expenses. He also cheated on his wife after she got sick and has a secret second family he prefers), and she has two younger siblings who need to be taken care of. The outfit also takes inspiration from classic ballerinas because she used to love ballet but had to quit to have more time so she started gardening as a close-to-home way of coping. Elodie chooses the name Peony because her mom had a prized peony bush in the front yard that sparked her love for gardening.

At first Elodie only participates because Adita begged her (Adita was once one of Elodie's bullies) but she realizes she feels empowered being a magical girl and a genuine friendship starts blossoming between them (but beware the lingering resentment). Her weapon is a rake that she uses like a combat staff and flies on like a witch would with a broom.

-=+=-

Megha was always the happy-go-lucky, bubbly, optimist type. When her parents divorced and she had to move away from her community, she kept a smile on her face even as she was consumed by depression and crippling loneliness. The more she overcompensates the worse she feels but she can't face her darkness or she'll fall apart. She'll pop like a bubble (her theme!) Megha chooses the name Sukha as a nod to her Hindu culture and as a wish to feel all right again.

Being a magical girl distracts Megha from her bad thoughts and gives her a friend group to hang out with. She may be on good terms with pretty much everyone but she isn't really close with anyone until she bonds with her team but then we get to have "are we really friends or do we just hang out because we're forced to" angst. She does gain a girlfriend in Elodie by the end. Her weapon is a giant bubble wand that summons giant bubbles for capture/containment or she can sit/stand and float on them (only Megha can touch them without becoming trapped).

-=+=-

Shamefully, Imani is not as developed as the other characters. I can't even seem to get her transformed design right. Here's what I do have: Imani has self worth issues and struggles with feelings of envy. She's "sour," like her theme of lemon, after living in her older sister's shadow. She was Adita's best friend when they were little. Her reason for accepting magical girl duty? Partially Imani wants to reconnect and partially being told she's special makes her feel good. Her weapon is the soda cans attached to the belt on her dress which she can pull the tab off of and throw and they'll explode like a grenade but it's more like a shockwave than fire and death. The tabs can then be used as throwing stars.

-=+=-

Adita is the main character.

Groundbreaker (the mallet) chooses Adita to carry on Blanc's legacy then won't let her discard it, reappearing nearby every time she tries to get rid of it. The bad guys won't leave Dita alone because she has Groundbreaker. Unless she's chill with dying, she kinda has to fight back. Even though she's resistant at first, eventually, being the "chosen one" goes to her head so she gets unchosen until she stops being a jerk.

Adita feels the need to perform for others so her theme is circus/carnival. She has to do well in school and activities and act strong through her chronic pain so she doesn't bother anyone with her "neediness." Her parents put a lot of pressure on her and they don't understand yet that her pain just won't go away. It's constant.

"But who is Blanc?"

I'm glad you asked! But first, the magic system and other internal logic because I'm an info-dumping fiend!

Setting & Magic System:

Transformations are done via sticker.

In the original pilot, this is only used on the Demises (bad guys' monster of the week that replaced Bafoons. They were inanimate objects turned evil and when they activated they created an arena with invisible walls to hide the destruction from onlookers and a magic time loop to reset the damage when that arena disappeared) and the magical girl transformation is done via Glitter Pact (because I was writing a Glitter Force series).

In [Magical Girl Show], the Demises work a bit differently and the sticker catalyst applies to everyone.

-=+=-

In the unnamed Magical Girl Realm, technology was developed that allowed people to enhance their magical abilities with a sticker stuck over their heart. Because magic comes from the heart.

The sticker merely collects the magic in the world to a single spot where it can be drawn upon. The manifestation is based on the user's personality and the normally gray circle sticker changes its appearance to reflect that.

Without this sticker, magic is limited in the MG Realm and impossible on Earth.

The unnamed Big Bad modifies and abuses this technology to channel magic into unwilling participants and thus create the Demises. This kind of exploitation is why only a chosen few in the MG Realm get to be magical warriors.

-=+=-

At first, the magical warriors were general law enforcement, emergency responders, etcetera. When BBEG started manufacturing his own stickers and dishing them out to his followers (like the goons who are in a perma-transformed state) and started his takeover, they became actual warriors who fought the darkness. The war was long and destructive but Blanc was able to defeat the BBEG and seal the darkness away using Groundbreaker.

When, centuries later, the war restarted and the MG Realm fell to the BBEG, some of the people fled to Earth which is how three stickers ended up there. The immigrants settled down, started families, and now, fifty years later, they must pass on their knowledge to a new generation of magical girls so that their stickers can be used to end the war once and for all.

A warrior can relinquish their sticker and set it back to a neutral state wherein it is no longer connected to their heart (after being activated for the first time, the stickers are connected to the user no matter how far apart they are as long as that user has magical girl potential).

Blanc never relinquished her sticker, so it never went back to neutral. This is why Adita cannot transform for most of the story. (Blanc is not wholly dead either and death counts as a form of relinquishment)

A part of Blanc's soul is in Groundbreaker, which is how a mallet can choose a holder, so Adita is using Blanc's magic when she fights. This is until some milestone happens and Blanc is finally put to rest (you can stop trying to please everyone now, sweetie) and Groundbreaker changes appearance to coincide with Adita's new alias as Cirque. (The hammer becomes the sticker because the transformation is no longer active but the hammer comes back once Adita transforms because the reason why she was chosen in the first place is because of how similar she and Blanc are.)

And now we can get into who Blanc is!

Blanc:

Blanc was one of the first of the ancient magical girls who were a part of the warrior generation. And she was by far the most powerful. She was the one who sealed away the BBEG with Groundbreaker which is why the goons want it: because they think the only weapon that can free their master is the same one that defeated him.

Blanc's costume takes more inspiration from old French mimes rather than Cirque's colorful Carnival vibe. This ties the two together through a common theme as well as distinguishes them. Blanc is more of the strong, silent type, whereas Cirque is a bit more flashy.

Blanc's signature move was called "Cirque du Blanc." This is the origin of Adita's magical girl alias name. The move involved a mass duplication of Blanc, the copies of which would run about doing acrobatics. But not just for show, the copies would also work to take down the enemy. It symbolizes Blanc's feelings of wishing for assistance but not trusting anyone except herself to do the job.

Adita hears Blanc's voice in her head or hallucinates her ghost occassionally as she guides her down the path she wants for her. We get to play around with the chosen one trope, too! Blanc choses Adita but Adita doesn't want to be chosen, then Adita choses herself but Blanc unchoses her, how will it end? Does being "chosen" really matter? What does that even mean? Find out next time on Dragon-

Plot:

Adita goes over to Emily (her best friend)'s place for a sleepover. Emily's grandmother owns an antique store. The girls sneak into the shop at midnight and Adita finds a black and white strongman mallet. Picking it up, she hears a disembodied laugh and decides that's a problem for someone else to deal with.

The next day the two go to the park and are ambushed by a goon who summons a Demise. People die, property is destroyed, and two women in sparkly dresses kick down the proverbial door to evacuate the civilians and curb stomp the Demise. Adita runs back to the antique shop to grab the mallet because the spooky laugh is making her ears ring.

The sparkly fighters instruct Adita on how to defeat the Demise and she does. They then pull her off to the side to exposition dump just enough for the audience to follow what happened and to spur on the next plot point of collecting teammates with the three remaining transformation stickers. Once alone, Adita rejects the magical girl responsibility and abandons the mallet but when she makes it home it's in her bedroom. This continues all weekend.

Fed up but realizing there's no escape, Adita tells Emily everything and Emily immediately begs to be a teammate. Unfortunately, she does not have magical girl potential, just like the sparkly women who helped them at the park. Still, one willing participant is better than no one even if they're comically weak. But Emily's enthusiasm and Adita's avoidance spark tension between them that will only continue to grow despite their attempts to be healthy communicators.

The next day at school, Adita thinks she finds the perfect candidates for the team so when the next attack comes she bestows two of the stickers upon them. But they were secretly goons in disguise! Adita just lost two stickers!

She demands Emily give back the sticker she lent her for safe keeping and emergencies right after Emily helped her defeat the Demise and calmed her down after her mistake. Adita says he needs a "real teammate." Emily is upset but complies.

The only other person Blanc sensed had potential was Elodie. But they don't exactly have the... best... relationship. Adita begs Elodie to join her when she uses Groundbreaker to bust open a portal to the MG Realm to get the stickers back and Elodie agrees on the basis of "I was in the park that day and if this stops the end of the world I guess I'll come along."

They steal the stickers back and Elodie asks to keep hers when they return to Earth which Adita is more than fine with but when Emily finds out she's super salty. She still hangs out with Dita though.

Megha is the new girl and people really seem to like her. They keep calling her "Megan" which she doesn't appreciate but it's whatever. Adita has been trying to figure out how to tell her that she's one of the few people capable of saving the world but that's a weird way to introduce yourself.

-=+=-

That's all I've got for now. I have some plot points that need to happen as well as a few reveals under my belt but [MGS] is still incomplete. It'd be great if I could make this into a visual novel (an animated series is likely impossible but that would be so cool) someday. Oh well. Back into the box you go, [MGS].

I once again apologize for my long, disordered, possibly crucially unfinished infodump. My need to share the stories that won't leave my brain possesses me and I am but a vessel for its yapping.

[v3nusxsky]

Right I need a good hurt/comfort fic cause my parental issues are kicking my ass atm. If you don't mind could you please write a Larissa weems x non-binary reader where r is a student (of legal age of course) where r and Larissa are in an established relationship but haven't taken the next step in their relationship yet. During parents weekend both of r's parents end up coming despite them being separated since r was a little kid so typically they take turns. This is the first time Larissa has properly gotten to meet them both and together so when r's dad shows up drunk and their mum's deadnaming them, larissa is concerned to say the least. Throughout the weekend it gets worse and they are both constantly and very loudly fighting about anything and everything while using r as their mediator. Larissa notices how different r is from their parents since r is very reserved and logical to the point of coming off as cold to people who don't know them well but before Larissa can think too hard about that r comes bursting into her office and immediately starts to kiss and undress her. Larissa is happy r wants to finally take the next step but is very confused at why now and why r is letting their emotions get the best of them so forces r to stop and talk to her. This leads to r breakdown in Larissa's arms (something she's never seen before) and explains that they can't handle their parents anymore and they just need Larissa to make r forget about them. Feel free to end it however you like, thank you!

Make me forget| h&c slight 18+

*Authors note~this fic has been haunting my brain bc I want to do it justice and I hope I have now that it's really ready to post.*

Trigger warnings~ non binary r family issues sexualising one's self, sex as a coping mechanism meltdowns drunk dad separated parents dead naming

Prompt~see ask^^^^

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Parent's weekend was something you'd been anxious for now for the past week, your parents would attend for your youngest sibling Dahlia while having no idea that you taught here. Not only that but that you go by your chosen name not your dead name. They also weren't privy to the knowledge that you happened to be dating the principal. Larissa Weems loved you for what you are on the inside, not the name you were born with or what gender you resonate with. You are you, and that's why she loved you. Together you both knew what it felt like to be misunderstood for what you are and that's why you would always try to prevent these things occurring in Nevermore Academy.

Larissa knew of your sister, but your sister had yet to stumble across you, you'd actively been dodging her since her arrival. So we one safe kiss of reassurance you both headed down to begin parents weekend. Your mother was first to arrive, as emotionless as she always was until she laid eyes on Dahlia, only when she caught sight of you did her eyes darken in anger and she muttered, "Lia? Who's that thing over there?" Ouch, but before she could even turn to see you, your dad came stumbling through the gates, three sheets to the wind. Truly nothing had changed here.

As a child you spent every week bouncing from house to house and parent to parent but neither provided you with the love and care you deserved. Your dad was always drunk or hungover, there's no middle here. Your mother took things hard when you came out, refusing your new name, "I named you for a reason, that's your name! Not whatever monstrosity you came up with" her words stung, you spent ages souring the internet for the perfect name. And she didn't even hear what you choose, just dismissed you straight away.

Right away your parents are way to busy arguing to notice you approaching them until your sister screams you're new name and runs into your arms. "I missed you Lia bug" you murmured into her ear before whispering, "I work here now bug" which caused your sister to beam back at you. "What are you doing here?" Your mother almost snarled at you. Of course she dead named you. Your dad chirped in about how a creature like you shouldn't be working in schools where you influence children. After all he blamed your mother and she blamed him. You and Lia were always caught in the crossfire, just how it always has been.

By the end of the evening you'd had enough so you set off in search for your girlfriend. Barging in through her the mahogany doors and immediately stormed over to your unsuspecting love. You immediately gabbed the lapels of her blazer and smashed your lips to hers in a hurry, hands tugging at her clothing and your own in a desperate blind need to feel something, anything.

At first Larissa reciprocated the desire until she realised this felt wrong, you'd both spoke about how the first time together would go and this wasn't it so the fact you were trying to rip her dress from her body, you'd removed your own shirt before Larissa managed to brace her hands on your shoulders, "hey hey hey love, slow down darling slow down. Talk to me" she murmured as you attempted to avoid her gaze. Those words was all it took for you to start sobbing, "I'm sorry I'm sorry so so sorry I'm god sorry" over and over again as you collapsed.

As Larissa came to hold you after wrapping her blazer around you she began to realise just how much you were the opposite of your parents. You had never broken down like this before so whatever they did was clearly bothering you and it hurt her heart to see. "Can't do this they just Ris help make me feel. Please need to feel good please Ris make their words go away make it all better please." You mumbled over and over as you sobbed into her shoulder. A soothing hand rubbing circles on your back as you cried it out. Larissa promised herself here and now that she would never let your parents hurt you ever again. For the rest of the evening Larissa doted on, drew you a bath and got a some snacks, just held you and showered you in love and comforting words.

Word count~ 1085

[sequinsmile-x]

The Past Coming Back With the Light in the Morning

It was strange to think he’d spent his life chasing the violence he’d desperately tried to escape as a kid.

-x-

Hi friends,

This is fully sponsored by my insomnia, so take that as a warning for the level of feelings in this one based on previous experience.

Please do let me know what you think <3

-x-

Words: 3k

Warnings: Mentions of canon typical violence, referenced/implied child abuse (Aaron's childhood)

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Aaron stares down at his knuckles, flexing them again and again so the skin doesn’t heal. Stretching and stinging as he repeatedly makes a fist and then releases it, the pain the only thing keeping him from losing it. Fresh scars over old ones, marks against his skin that are permanent reminders of the last time he’d hit a man, the last time he’d tried to protect a woman he loves. 

He sighs, grateful that he has a moment alone, a moment to gather his thoughts, all too aware that Emily would find him soon. That she’d wear concern for him like a perfume, her knowledge of him, of how his brain works, enough that he’d first smelt it the moment his fist had hit the wall. Her love for him overriding any professionalism in that moment as Derek apprehended the unsub who had dove out of the way of Aaron’s punch. Agent Prentiss, a member of Aaron’s team, immediately pushed to the side and replaced by his wife, reaching out for him before he slipped away from her grasp, walking away without further comment once he’d made sure she was okay. 

She always told him he’d ruined her ability to compartmentalise. That he and their kids were the only ones who could push through the cracks in her coping mechanisms, worming their way into her heart in a way she’d once thought she was incapable of allowing. 

He runs his fingers through his hair and leans forward, his elbows on his knees, pressing into old scars that had long since healed. 

He remembers falling off his bike when he was four. He’d been going too fast, adrenaline and excitement rushing through his veins. He took a corner too quickly and came off of it over the handlebars. He’d cut his knees, gravel and grit breaking his skin, and damaged the paintwork on the bike. 

He’d been punished for both. Sent to his room with his skin still stinging, as if his joy and excitement had been careless. A lesson he was still struggling to unlearn even now.

He still has the scar on his left knee, a small jagged line that he could only see if he had a tan. A dull reminder that would show through when he was on vacation with his family, a talisman from the past he was never quite able to escape. The phantom of a man long since dead, a mirror image of who he never wanted to be, the man he came from, seemingly only ever one step behind him.  

It was strange to think he’d spent his life chasing the violence he’d desperately tried to escape as a kid. His chosen career, his desire to stop people from hurting others, to make them pay whatever penance they owed for the pain they had already caused, a clear side effect of how he’d been raised. A vain hope that, one day, he would reset the balance. That he’d counteract the fact he’d never been able to stop his father, that the only thing that had brought his reign to an end had been his death. Something that had come too early and far too late at the same time, the spectre of his anger haunting their home for years. Long after they’d buried him in the ground. 

Aaron did his best to ensure he never became his father. It was one of the reasons he’d put off having children for so long, why he and Haley had waited for so many years. For the longest time, he thought that the violence was in his DNA, so much a part of him that he’d never be able to escape it. Eventually, Haley had convinced him that wasn’t the case, something he was grateful for because he couldn’t imagine his life without his son, but there were moments, days like today, when he convinced himself that she was wrong. 

He’d never be able to escape any of it. 

He hears a knock on the door of the office he’d snuck into and he turns as it opens, his eyes meeting his wife’s as she walks in before she closes the door behind her, giving them the privacy he wished was in their own home. 

“Aaron, honey?” Emily asks, carefully keeping some distance between them no matter how much she wants to wrap him up in a hug, to put her arms around him and tell him everything will be okay, “The others are packing everything up,” she says, taking a step closer, “And the locals are taking care of the arrest. So we should be able to go soon.” 

Aaron nods and clears his throat, looking back down at his knuckles, flexing them again as he does so, “Good.” 

She frowns as she steps closer, catching sight of how his knuckles glisten in the low lighting of the room. She gasps slightly as she realises what she’s looking at, reaching out and placing her hand on his shoulder as she speaks.

“Are you bleeding?” 

He flinches, pulling away from her touch as if she’d burnt him, and he clears his throat, “It’s fine. I’m fine.” 

Emily sighs and crosses her arms over her chest, desperately trying not to feel hurt about the fact he had pulled away from her. She knew this was about him, not her. She’d known it the moment he’d thrown a punch at the unsub, how his automatic reaction would have convinced him of so many, untrue, things he thought about himself. 

Even though he’d done it to protect her. 

It all happened so quickly that they’d barely had time to react. The unsub, the man they’d finally arrested after days of picking through the lives of the people he’d killed, of the damage he left behind, had made a break for it as soon as they’d tried to get him out of the car he’d been bundled into at his latest would-be crime scene and into the precinct. Emily hadn’t been there for the arrest, so she had been standing outside, getting some fresh air from the stuffy, overly warm precinct. 

The unsub had got way and grabbed her, throwing her against the wall with such force it had momentarily taken her breath away. Pushing it all free from her lungs in a way that made her cough as she desperately tried to suck it all back in. Aaron and Derek made it over to her in seconds, Aaron throwing a punch, seemingly forgetting he had a gun on his hip in the moment, and hitting the wall as the unsub dove out of the way.

Emily had vaguely heard the guy talk about police brutality, as if they weren’t about to add ‘assault of a federal officer’ to his list of charges, as Derek led him away. All of her focus had been on her husband, on the way his knuckles had cracked as they hit the brick wall she’d been forced against herself. He’d stepped towards her and asked if she was okay, his voice tight and on edge, his hands in fists by his sides as he stopped himself from reaching out for her, as if he was scared he’d hurt her. As soon as she nodded that she was fine he was gone, walking away before she’d had the chance to ask him if he was okay.

She’d given him a little time on his own, careful to make sure that she didn’t give him too much. Afraid to let him steep in all the worst things he thought about himself, all the things she wished she could make him believe weren’t true. 

She sighs and walks over, crouching down in front of him and forcing herself into his eyeline, something that makes him reach out for her automatically, his hands on her waist as if to steady her. Something that makes her smile softly. 

“Come with me,” she says, reaching for his hand and linking their fingers, gently encouraging him to stand. He does as she’s asked, silently letting her lead him to the bathrooms just down the hall. She takes him into the ladies bathroom and locks the door behind them, giving him the privacy she knows he needs, and she walks him over to the sink. She turns on the water and takes his left hand in both of hers, the sight of his blood, even such a small amount of it where the brick wall had broken his skin, enough to make her breath catch in her chest. 

When she blinks she sees a flash of the pool of blood on the floor of his old apartment. A stain she knows she’ll never forget, the shape of it burned into her memory like Ian’s violence had been burned into her flesh. Even when she moved in with Aaron and Jack, a move that was temporary whilst they found a new house, a fresh start for all of them, she’d be able to see it. A spot on the ground she’d stare at whenever she couldn’t sleep. Drawn to it in a way she couldn’t explain. 

Aaron had found her sitting on the couch more than once, pulled out of bed by her absence. He’d curl around her and provide the only thing she found comforting in those moments - the warmth of his skin. The proof he’d survived, that they’d both survived the things they’d been through, and they had each other now. The prize at the end of the longest road. 

“Did I ever tell you that I love your hands?” She says softly, flashing a look up at his face before she returns her attention to his knuckles, gentle as she washes his damaged skin, “They’re huge. They make me feel safe,” she smiles softly, “Among other things,” she looks up and down again as he remains silent and decides to carry on, “I love watching you with Jack and Isla, how gentle you are with them.”

“Em-”

“You aren’t your father, Aaron,” she says firmly, looking up at him as she turns off the water, satisfied that she’d cleaned his hands enough before she reaches for a paper towel, “You never could be. You make us feel safe.” 

He sighs, wishing more than anything that he could believe her, that the half of him that came from his father hadn’t seemingly won out earlier.

“I was going to punch someone, Em,” he says, letting her pat his hands dry with the paper towel. “I didn’t even hesitate.” 

“You were protecting me,” she says, her tone of voice leaving no room for argument, “That makes you the exact opposite of him.” 

She was no stranger to trying to escape the shadow of a parent. Of desperately trying to be more than she had once felt as if she was destined to be. Her life running parallel to her mother’s, a reflection of what Elizabeth could have been whilst constantly fearing that the lines would someday cross. That she’d accidentally become what she’d always told herself she wouldn’t be. 

Aaron closes his eyes and pulls her into a hug, something she gratefully returns, her arms tight around his middle as she lets him take what he needs. His face buried in her hair, breathing in the scent of her shampoo, the comfort it brought washing over him, letting him breathe deeply for the first time since it had all happened. He pulls back to look at her, his hand cupping her cheek.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” 

She nods, turning her head to kiss his palm, “I’m sure.” 

He clears his throat and presses his forehead against hers, clenching his jaw as familiar anger washes over him again.

“If he’d hurt you…” 

He doesn’t have to finish his sentence, they both know how it would end.  He once beaten a man to death for hurting, for murdering, a woman he loved. She’d walked in on it, the crunch of Foyet’s face, the sound of his teeth shattering, a sound she knows she’ll never fully shake off. 

She’d helped him then too. A moment they’d never spoken about. She’d guided him to the bathroom in the house he’d once lived in, her words a whisper as she said she needed to clean him up before he went to see Jack, and she gently washed his hands for him, her skin against his in a way that was unfamiliar at the time but now something he couldn’t live without. 

“I know, honey,” she says, stamping her lips against his gently, trying to push everything into it that she wants to say, everything he won’t believe right now, “Let’s go,” she says, not letting go of his hand as she pulls away, “The sooner we get out of here, the sooner we can get home to the kids.”

“Yeah,” he replies, squeezing her hand, silently showing her how grateful he was for her, for their life together, “Let’s go home.” 

___

By the time they get home, Isla should very much be in bed. She isn’t. 

Jessica smiles apologetically before she leaves, at the mercy of the 3-year-old just as much as the rest of them were. She explains that as soon as Isla knew they were on the way home she insisted on waiting up for them. So she’d let her, getting her ready for bed, the little girl's hair in the braids she always insisted on, and in her Spiderman pjyamas before they got home.

Isla runs at Aaron when they walk through the door, so excited to see her father, her favourite person in the whole world, that she barely says goodbye to Jessica as she leaves, her arms tight around Aaron’s neck as he holds her close. 

“Hi princess,” he says, kissing the side of her head, smelling the no-tangle shampoo Emily always bought her as he does so, “I missed you.” 

“Missed you too, Daddy,” she replies, smiling widely at him as she pulls back. She was a mini Emily, every single part of her a reflection of his wife, right down to the smile that always convinced him of anything. She was more like him in personality though, slightly more reserved, especially around people she didn’t know, but fiercely loyal to those she loved. 

“What about me?” Emily says from behind them, her tone dripping with face annoyance, “Should I just leave?”

“No, Mommy, don’t leave!” Isla says, playing into the scene that repeated most times they came back from a case. She leans towards Emily and Aaron passes her over, making sure his wife has a good hold on the little girl before he lets go, “Hi Momma!” 

“Hi baby,” she says, kissing her cheek, the familiar weight of her daughter against her something she’d never tire of. 

Before she can say anything else, Isla catches sight of Aaron’s hand, of the broken skin on his knuckles, and she frowns. She grabs his index and middle fingers, a grip Emily knows he could easily break free from, and has a closer look. 

“Daddy hurt?” She asks, looking up at him, and he briefly looks at his wife, seeing the soft smile that she flashes him, before he returns his attention to his daughter. 

“I’m okay, baby, I promise,” he says, smiling when her frown deepens, clearly not believing him. She leans down and kisses his hand, just shy of the broken skin and she looks back up at him, her gaze turning expectant. 

“All better?”

He feels his heart swell in his chest, her gentleness, her endless empathy, making him smile. It was something he always did when one of the kids was hurt. He’d press a bandaid against their broken skin and then a kiss, desperate to make sure when they were his age they’d look at their old scars and remember the love, the care they’d been shown in the aftermath. 

“Much better, Isla,” he says, flashing a smile up to his wife who holds their daughter closer, her lips against her forehead again, “Thank you.” 

She smiles and shrugs, “Welcome.” 

“Mom, Dad,” Jack says, rushing into the foyer, slightly breathless, “Can we get Chinese food for dinner?” He asks, making his parents exchange an amused smile.

“Well hello to you too, Jack,” Aaron says, hugging his son who smiles up at him. “Hi,” he says, turning to look at Emily too, “Hi Mom,” he looks back and forth between them, “So, Chinese?” 

Aaron shakes his head and chuckles, the family of four slowly heading towards the living room, “I thought you preferred pizza.” 

Jack nods, “I do, but you guys were gone for ages,” he says, drawing out the word with a flair of drama he’d never had before Emily moved in with them, “And I know you like to get Chinese when you get home.” 

“That’s very sweet, Jack,” Emily says, securing an increasingly sleepy Isla to her before she reaches out with one hand and ruffles her son’s hair, “As long as you’re sure?” 

He nods enthusiastically, “As long as I can open all the fortune cookies.”

She chuckles and nods, “Deal, why don’t you go get the menu?” 

She doesn’t have to ask twice, and he runs off towards the kitchen, sliding along the floors in his socks in the way they’d told him not to a hundred times. Once he’s out of earshot she turns to her husband, seeing the wistful look on his face. 

“You okay honey?” She asks, taking a step towards him. He looks at her and smiles, reaching out and tucking some of their, now-sleeping, daughter’s hair behind her ear. 

He might be half his father, a reality he couldn’t escape but his children, his wonderful, perfect, children were half him. They were kind and thoughtful. Gentle in a way he knows they get from both he and Emily, a gentleness that hadn’t been worn away by everything they’d been through. Soft edges they’d fought to keep.

Jack and Isla both had all of the qualities he’d spent years convincing himself weren’t real, qualities he was sure he didn’t have. They shone out of them like the break of dawn after the longest night, a reflection of himself in them that he once never thought he’d see. 

“Yeah,” he says, pulling her close, wrapping both of his girls up in his arms, “I’m fine.” 

As long as he had them, he knew he always would be. 

-x-

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[rou-luxe]

as the certified #1 Alfons enjoyer, could I get your opinion?

so I've been listening to your alfons playlist (it's really good) but I'm also making one for myself that has more songs I'm into as well, and I was wondering if "chosen" by dua saleh fits him? I only know him from the eng server (and a few translations), so I would like an expert opinion before I commit to adding it.

only if you have the time or want to check it out, that is!

NAH MY BROWSER BROKE TRYING TO ANSWER THIS ASK

HELP... I'M THE #1 ALFONS ENJOYER NOW... 😭😭 AND I'M BEING CONSULTED FOR THIS... HEKJFKDHVKDLFJ

oooo you're making a playlist too??? could you send it once you're done 😇

ngl I'm from english server too (I know a bit of JP but I'm lazy 💀). checking this out right now. I am always free for Alfons research... I'm going insane...

about the song you mentioned - the verdict is go ahead 👍 I'd say it is more about him in a general way. says a lot about intoxication and the thrill. but honestly if I'm not sure I go pull up the lyrics and do an analyzation before deciding 💀💀

I forgot to make the thumbnails for the other LIs to publish the playlists thank you for reminding me 🌝

rambling under cut

my irl said "you probably think the alfons playlist is a masterpiece don't you? 😔"

I didn't think much of it at the time

Until I went on a listening marathon

speaking of my choice in songs for these playlists... it usually includes (examples from alfons playlist) - LI singing to MC - MC singing to LI (I would like to point out "KOE" - ASCA and "MEMORIA" - Eir Aoi. The main songs out of place. These songs are mainly about grief and loss, or forgetting someone / something. Alfons' MC, post-curse.) - joke / troll songs / inside jokes especially in alfons'. more hidden though. (Tom Lehrer is the most obvious) - vibe of LI - music mainly (eg. Chogakusei, "Loveit?") - vibe of LI - lyrics only. sometimes these songs don't really fit the LI musically but we cope

usually when making character playlists I keep these playlists to myself or just leave them public but never mention them publically like on tumblr - my brain works differently and I understand every little reference but that means I'd need to explain these playlists 💀💀

there are few songs that I feel suit them perfectly in both music and lyrics. these songs tend to be near the top of the playlist. however - due to certain headcanons occupying my brain recently about Alfons' curse, some songs feel out of place

some songs made me curl up and cry when in alfons context specifically - "House of Memories" - P!ATD - "Flight of the Crows" - Jhariah - "KOE" - ASCA - "MEMORIA" - Eir Aoi

there will be an explanation for alfons' at some point... not now though irl life is getting pretty busy

[chounaifu]

I’m really glad that those asks I sent out are being well-received. There’s still a few more that I need to write up, but, I’m pacing myself. :’)

Thoughts about my own current state beneath the cut, since my therapist always encourages me to open up to the people in my space. Some of it can be potentially triggering, so, please do not open if the discussion of trauma, stalking and abuse is harmful to you:

I’ve been vocal about the horrifying, traumatic stuff that caused me to leave the RPC in 2017, to a few of you before. Without going into deep detail, between the years of 2017-2021, I was trapped in an extremely, extremely abusive relationship with a member of the RPC who is no longer here, thank fuck. Because of my poor coping skills and extremely fragile mental health at the time, he managed to keep me in a social isolation until I finally left him in 2021. And I mean true social isolation; I wasn’t allowed to talk to anybody but him. (I literally had to lie and pretend like I was having internet troubles if I even wanted to open up another chat box on Discord to talk to somebody, because he would literally point out the amount of minutes it took for me to respond to him.) He tracked my location in real time with GPS. He controlled what I ate when we spent time together irl. He forced me to quit one of my jobs before, because he wasn’t pleased with how busy I was. Any free time I had, had to be given to him. I had no identity, no autonomy, no sense of self.

Since I left him in 2021, I’ve been in a long process of learning how to be a human being again, how to exist around multiple people, and how to monitor my energy levels. It’s been hard, and, there’s a lot of times where I have to learn that I am adapting to an entirely new way of life. I used to be able to write a lot of thread replies, ask replies, and drabbles in a short period of time, but, my brain just does not do that anymore. And it makes me sad, but, I know that my RP partners understand my situation.

I cannot emphasis how much going from *one* person to— well, a lot of good friends has been good for me, but also a difficult experience in itself, because I’m still fighting with my own hypersensitivity and paranoia.

Choosing to come back here was one of the scariest decisions I have ever made. And, even though I don’t vocalize it, I actively fight trauma responses every single time I open Tumblr— not because anybody is doing anything to me, but because the experience I went through was so deep.

That’s why I’ve been trying to take a minute to sit down, and send some nice words to everybody. You never know what somebody is going through. *Nobody* knew what I was going through, because I hid it so well— because I was forced to. We’re all human beings, on this rock, and we all chose to sit here and write, whether because it is a coping mechanism, something we’re passionate about, or because it’s simply fun. And I think that’s really, really beautiful.

I don’t think I’m ever going to be the same, energetic Rex that I once was. And I wish I could be. But that is okay.

So, for the people who welcomed me back, and remembered me: thank you for accepting my return, and accepting my apology.

And for the people who didn’t know me, who have become my friend lately: thank you for giving me a chance.

I’ve lost a lot of people, both friends and family, in the past decade or so. Nobody can fill those gaps, but, you guys make me feel a lot less lonely. Believe it or not, I don’t have many friends irl, and I really don’t know what I would be doing with myself right now if I hadn’t chosen to come back to Tumblr.

I wish there was more I could do to help uplift everybody who has been having a difficult time lately, I really, really do. But, at the end of the day, I cannot; what I can do, is point out that there’s at least *one* person out there who wants to see the best happen for you.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, I just want to be a good person, despite of the horrible things I was called by my abuser, and I hope I am doing that.

[i3utterflyeffect]

I can sorta picture Vic in the human au 'knowing' a lot about humans (he does not) and maayybe being a bit calmer than Chosen because of this... (All their knowledge would basically be wild interpretations of reality lol)

Also I feel like Cho and Vic might kinda bond...? (It really depends if this is before or after the box) I kinda feel like they'd have somewhat similar ways of coping

I'm rotating this au in my micro-brain

it's probably before the box but i love hitting vic with hammers so much i need to kill them so bad. it's a pathological thing it has to happen. bonks them bonks them bonks them bo--

anyway i feel like victim logically would be focusing all of their study on the weaknesses of humans and how to get the upper hand in a fight which. the first part makes them extremely nervous about their new status as a human and the second part is now completely obsolete considering they are not a stick anymore!

victim also very much hates being human considering they consider being a human to be a moral sin at this point (subconsciously or otherwise) and they're VERY alarmed to discover that no humans, in fact, have survived complete decapitation, meaning they STILL DEFINITELY SHOULD NOT BE ALIVE

[eusuntgratie]

fuck it friday

tagged by @onward--upward who is working on an amazing rwrb au that’s making me lose my mind a little.

fuck it friday = post whatever you want. ideas, snippets, art, not fic, whatever. fuck it! post whatever you want!

i haven’t had much time to write, but i always have a million ideas running around in my head, so i thought i’d share a few ideas and a few things i’m working on. if you have ideas/thoughts or want to scream at me about which i should work on, please feel free to share, because my brain is currently a big ol’ mess and i’m not getting anywhere with anything.

dumotanger abo college au... snippet shared here. where am i going with this? who could say.

tknp patty retires fic which i have been working on for *checks notes* A YEAR. lots of snippets in #patty retires fic

sid and geno read thirst tweets bc i had too much fun doing tknp. sid is unphased by blatantly sexual commentary about his ass and thighs because he’s so used to it. geno is impatient with too many sid tweets and tries to steer the conversation back to him and how hot he is.

geno and tanger hook up on the dads trip bc i love pain and sadness

firstprince college au... alex finds tightlaced, obnoxious henry drunk off his ass at a party and takes care of him. how’d this get in here? shhh back to hockey but rwrb maybe ate my brain a little.

tangerkarlsson freak4freak... maybe from sid’s pov. he is alarmed he is concerned he does not get it but also... it’s kinda hard to look away.

a sequel to liar i’ve been dreaming about since i wrote it where geno makes tanger write their numbers on sid with a sharpie.

i’d have to rewatch the episode, but i’d love to write a badwrong buck/kameron hookup from the episode where she runs away to his loft. all buck wants is to be chosen, to be needed. he feels like everyone finds him wanting, but kameron is carrying HIS baby and when she panicked and didn’t know where to go she came to HIM. the man has some feelings about that and some unhealthy coping mechanisms. and uh. sex is a great way to induce labor. so. yeah. i’m thinking some thoughts.

i haven’t touched it in AWHILE but i want to write some mess about this mess. why are you trying to kill the tiny man, pld? maybe bc the guy you’ve been hooking up with in winnipeg and accidentally fell for can hardly look you in the eye because he’s still so hung up on somebody who he never even had. DELICIOUS. 

i have more, but yeah. i got that 5 million wips at a time disease real bad. this is only three fandoms, so that’s pretty good. SIGH.

tagging anybody with something to share but also no pressure tagging @voxofthevoid @jbarneswilson @lostcol @ghostgeno