#like if im buying a copy of a book i read as a kid for example then like i want it to match the other books i have from my childhood

[theygender]

I love thriftbooks so much. My gf and I finally got a new bookshelf for our bedroom and there's a lot of extra space on it so I decided to try and fill in the gaps in my collection of warrior cats books from my childhood. I needed 8 books in total and I just found ALL of them in "very good" condition for a total of only $35 (with free shipping!)

[monsterhugger]

”why do people pirate books? haven’t you heard of the library?” the library just told me they won’t replace the two books in a series that have disappeared from their collection because the series is “too old”. the most recent edition was published in the 2000s by a major publisher. you can buy them for under $10. also at least two other people were reading the series at the same time as me so its not like no one wants to read it anymore

[quixtrix]

let's talk BL manga lore; on grooming, identity, and racism

spoilers for the official captain laserhawk bl manga ofc, plus brief discussion of grooming I've refrained from speaking about it because of spoilers, but it's been well over a month and I believe that it's time to openly discuss it. if you would still like to read the manga before reading this discussion, here's the link to buy a physical copy and you can search up 'Captain Laserhawk: Crushing Love' in your digital book store for it. okay time to talk about two, basically three subjects; racism, identity, and grooming. i'm starting with the grooming first, because that's the main focus of this manga. i would have to preface this by saying i've already discussed this topic in an earlier post (albeit it is a prediction, but it is a spot on prediction.) i'll briefly elaborate on it right now with what we know.

dolph's very first day with alex was carefully calculated to where dolph would be exposed to the world, but heavily rely on alex. he is shown around to alex's friends and is able to buy his own clothes, but it is under the heavy scrutiny of alex. alex ultimately decides what dolph wears, alex decides how the day goes, alex leads dolph. even when they have a beach day, take note of how alex holds dolph, dragging him around.

even the romance and the events leading up to when alex takes dolph's virginity are calculated. note how alex grasps dolph's hand, grabbing on tight enough to almost press down on his knuckles, loosening his hand, making dolph relinquish control. the context for the fight page is that after their sweet lil beach day, alex takes dolph down an alley where alex knows that he'll come across people who aren't the fondest of him. this event was calculated, alex knew it was going to happen, and he used it to test out his new lil boytoy.

also, alex taking dolph out to fight isn't just so he can get in the pants of a barely 18 year old. while holloway notes during this flashback that adrenaline is the greatest aphrodisiac, this is a test to see how good the new weapon he picked up is. how the new boy works, to see how eden's boy robot can benefit his group, not just him. its literally in the morning panels we get where alex talks with that woman, anna. they're talking about how loaded he is with tech, and while alex does consider that, he still actively thirsts over dolph.

also im jus saying if i personally was talking with one of my greatest confidants and they refer to someone i'm thirsting over as KID, i would personally be icked out. i would have a conscious and not do some weird shit, like literally refer to dolph in passing as kid in the next page. dolph aint even the first one who alex has done this shit to, as evident by this line by one of his friends, grace.

alex is a groomer and groomed dolph, case closed.

anyways! time to get on with what i really wanted to talk about, how racism and loss of idenity ties into dolph's character!

in this manga, during pillow talk between dolph and alex, we get dolph's backstory. dolph literally has only known this man for a day and he's giving him lore because alex treats him more normal than eden did. god. ANYWAYS ENOUGH DWELLING ON DOLPH BEING A VICTIM IN ALL WAYS INCLUDING BEING ONE OF THE OXFORD STUDY, we get to know about his brief life before eden took him in.

now let me turn for a moment to the show, and how we were told about dolph's backstory. this is VASTLY different than what we got in the show, with it being implied that dolph's parents were a white prostitute and a darkskinned immigrant man. this adds onto the idea that this supposedly impoverished, crack addicted boy came into this world not as an act of love, but as a mistake. not just a mistake though, his parents are supposedly the epitome of immoral, a prostitute and a criminal. not to mention that this also ties into the idea of the uncultured brown man and pure white woman, basically a racist idea that the scary immigrants who aren't like us good white christian americans (and honestly jus any homogenous group in general, though in america its ofc more applicable to white people), are corrupting our mother marys, our women. eden takes on this perspective in order to subconsciously frame in the minds of post american viewers the idea of this man as an other that they are helping and didn't at all snatch up from his mother for child experimentation. the concept of other is something that finds it's origins in fascism, and in order to mask the presence of said fascism, someone who is seen as apart of the other is given a seat at the table with the collective us, (as in the majority, or the ones that are supposedly superior), and will ultimately serve as an example of why the other are labelled as such. i go into this more with my rayman analysis. I brought up the specific portrayal of dolph's backstory from eden's documentary to showcase how eden has manipulated the view people have of this man. eden has not only manipulated the view of the in universe audience, but eden has manipulated our view.

in the propaganda documentary, we are shown photos of this man being a captain, someone of relatively high rank in the military. you can't even normally earn that through having an education, you'd have to have years of experience. he's portrayed as older than he is.

another thing, dolph fans, let's be honest with ourselves; before the manga, it was not uncommon to headcanon that man as a FREAK. with both the supposed images of dolph at a nightclub and the flashback of alex and dolph meeting outside a club, it wasn't too hard to think that the hottest man alive in that show who was fully born human was a freak. a sexual deviant. someone that a christian mother would be horrified enough by that she faints. the manga however, shows us that dolph really isn't any of that. hell, he didn't even get to go to a club before he met alex. in reality, he's around 18 years and his only sexual experience is his groomer.

say that again with me, he's around 18. he's just around 18, he's a young adult, and the environment he's grown up in has stunted him by treating him as a subject, a thing, cutting him off from anything that would humanise this child by not allowing him to see his mother. hell, even his childhood best friend serves eden by being the one in his ear, having him at her beck and call all in the name of eden.

we get none of dolph's true backstory in the show for any number of reasons. maybe it's on purpose, maybe it's a result of having to possibly cut down episodes, who knows? what matters though is that this adds a layer to the core problem defining dolph's life; the perspective others have on him warping who he is.

back to the pages with dolph's memories of his mother, we see dolph as he was when he was just a boy. he's his mama's boy, her son, a child. even when eden takes him in, he stubbornly clings to that bit of him that's pure, untainted by the idea of him being an experiment, a tool. this bit of him, this hint towards who he is supposed to be as a person, is something he clings to desperately. it leads him to follow eden's orders again because they promise that they've found his mother.

and yknow what happened with who dolph was told was supposedly his mother?

she was just a random ass indian woman.

wasn't even the right woman. they just used his identity issues because he's indian, and she was indian and in a cult that eden needed to take care of.

this, while admittedly is kind of funny, (like the confusion is funny in the moment look at ts) is actually fucked up crazy racism. they literally said that this random ass woman who happened to be indian was his mother like HELL!?!??!?!?

this insane fr. lucy didn't even double check LIKE GIRL THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR FRIEND'S MOTHER WHO HE HASNT SEEN SINCE HE WAS LIKE 6 AND YOU DIDNT EVEN DOUBLE CHECK IF SHE'S THE RIGHT PERSON?!?!?!?

moving on from that, this actually brings up a deeper layer of dolph's identity issues; the lack of cultural identity.

i want to preface this by saying that i am not entirely sure if this is the right term for this identity issue nor am i claiming to be an expert on the type of identity crisis that i am about to discuss. that being said, this specific disconnect of cultural identity that dolph has is actually reminiscent of those adopted from other countries, or transnational adoptees. there seems to be a need within these adoptees to find out more about their own heritage or their own mothers and families that they now struggle to find. while dolph does not actively go out to reconnect with his heritage, he does exhibit desires to find his birth mother. this type of identity issue seems to ask the question of 'what could I have been if...?,' and it tends to mess with the idea of the self. adoptees that struggle with this question hold a desire to go back, to almost reclaim what would have been. yes, dolph is not adopted into a family, but he is still a child under the care of eden, which became like his family, which is why i believe that this kind of identity issue could reasonably be applied to dolph. it explains why he does what he does in the manga, and how it's ultimately wrapped up by him losing this desire and moving forward. albeit he moves forward by alex instead becoming his main purpose, but this serves as the first chain of the past that he leaves behind. with this, he severs a tie that would have made him continue to be stuck under eden's control, and possibly find himself. he answers the question of what could have been with 'it doesn't matter anymore.'

but actually, he doesn't answer that question. he leaves it be.

i am reading way too into this tho lol. i would say that he doesn't explicitly say it, and that we do see a lack of dolph's past being used against him in that way because dolph has freed himself from that part, but in reality, it's because eden can't pull the same trick twice. im aware that the manga focuses HARD on dolph's grooming, but i feel like they really could have properly wrapped up dolph's identity arc with his mother if it was acknowledged at the end, but i fear we are left unsatisfied. that's one of my gripes with the manga. it gives us things that tie up loose ends, but some of these ties have entirely missed the holes they were supposed to secure. but what is done is what's done, and here we are.

tl;dr, dolph was groomed by alex. dolph's identity has also been warped by eden heavily, by how they dehumanised him as a child to be a weapon internally, to how he's shown to the public to be a case that they've saved, and yet he still becomes something that is "disgraceful." textbook example of this poor boy that we have saved that is actually jus like all the others that we know. dolph also suffers under similar identity issues as adopted children do, and this specific issue of his is let go in order to allow him to begin moving on and finding himself.

as always, im open to discussion and critique! my askbox is open as well if you want me to yap abt smth else in the show :P

[atomra]

going to a book sale thing tomorrow and hoping i might actually get a book for once. i think the last time i bought a book that wasnt for uni, an artbook, or manga was like... honestly over 15 years ago (or never tbh)

i mean, i even stopped buying my uni books after a point because i wasn't using them and i didnt need them. Or online services were better...

not against books either, i love them and i hope we can still keep physical media. But struggling to read 40% of the time makes a person not as excited to pick up a book 🤣🤣 (i used to seriously dread reading when i was a kid, i barely have any memory of anything i did read)

but!! i DID discover that i really want to get house of leaves, so if i find nothing at all at the sale, im gunna go pick up a copy of that 100%

[strwberri-milk]

Do you have any favorite books (online—ex: X readers— or traditional) and/or authors you would recommend? 😊😊

under the cut for more YAPPING - its some fics Ive enjoyed recently/novels

i do recc that you pick up some antholgies as well!! i love short stories all bundled up bc its like. a good way to read a lot without needing to commit to several hundred page stories. i have a few copies of different books from broadview anthology so thats my exp w anthologies!

i recently [read - two years ago] read the invisible life of addie larue which i like bc i love that take on immortality and so i decided to buy three more books by ve shswab (?) bc i liked the prose/diction. im also a big fan of girl on the train - i reccd it to my coworker and she loved the book and spilled the tiniest little sodie on it and felt so bad she bought me an entirely new copy LMAO and so thas a good read 2 me too!!

i also really like the picture of dorian grey and if i dug around my tub of books im sure i could hunt down some other novels i liked but that would take too long. i also love like. problem novels which are like. definitely necessary to read if youre trying to develop media literacy which is dying atm i strongly believe people are becoming weaker readers and the death of media literacy will be the death of art in general

ive fallen behind on uhh once upon an eclipse which is a ragbros kaeya turns into a kid longfic but DEFINITELY reccomend it and angel and an alpha which is a redacted asmr fic but it Changed my brain chemistry (and got me in trouble w my manager bc i was reading it in the back before the store was even open so i think shes annoying ANYWAY) and between you me and the fencepost which is another redacted fic that i pray to update every day

also pls read mitosis by my bestie its an obey me canon x oc and sometimes my little oc shows up and says hi in it LMAO

[kavalyera]

Not fiddler as in kiddie but he SAd women as young as 21-22 when he was in his 60s which IMO is just as bad in fact worse than someone 16-17 who’s at least into it. Which these women were NOT 🤮🤬

For those who don’t know Neil Gaiman is a weird looking scruffy hair dork who wrote one good comic series in like the 1990s and one meh book with Terry Pratchett that got made into a twee and overrated TV series with about 1000 times as many fans as the cinematic masterworks that are the JW films. So yeah

im such a big coraline fan (loved it back when i first watched it as a kid then read the book like a few years ago) and im so disappointed with this :( i loved snow glass and apples and yk what atleast im glad my aunt gave a copy of it to me instead of me actually buying it so there’s a plus side

for the second one i haven’t really watched good omens but based on peer review/friend(s) who’ve watched it i’ll just take your word for it

[matchamabs]

ok ok ill do this tag thing bc its fun and ive not done one in forever: 9 people u wanna know better

also hello @marvosa-yroz its been a long old time!! how are u

1: Three Ships

hrrng. like. maybe. ok im actually having 2 check my ao3 to see what the fuck i even like lmao. i havent done ship stuff recently !

A. Revali/Mipha that was the most recent ship stuff i did for a while

B. Tokoyami/Bakugou for the nostalgia

C. Terumi Mei/Yagura for the niche crowd

2: First Ever Ship

oh god it mustve been like. Pie/Midorikawa Lettuce from Tokyo Mew Mew?? back when i first started watching anime and back when u could watch 4 parts of an episode on youtube in 280p with no ads. lmao

3: Last Song

Akatsuki Records "Let's Ghost". banger mate

4: Last Film

uhhhhh it might've been Lactopalypse. if you havent seen Lactopalypse, (or Vanamehe Film) uh. go buy a copy from estonia immediately. right now. give them your fucking money. go watch a trailer on youtube its good and its STOP MOTION so. extra love.

5: Currently Reading

like. jane eyre im halfway thru. and wuthering heights! turns out that book is just about everyone and their cat having bipolar disorder

6: Currently Watching

rewatching archer for the billionth time. i got bought a rainbow high doll by my best mate and im really considering watching the series on netflix. is it good? is it like. remotely bearable?

7: Currently Consuming

ok thorntons do these like. seasonal gingerbread millionaire shortbread bites that are only 8 in a pack bc theyre dickheads but fuck me theyre reallllllly good

8: Currently Craving

LEBKUCHENNNNN i want some :(((

ok now i get 2 be a dick and tag people at my whim!! who do i love. who do i wanna know more abt. lets go with @frosty-tian @ohshy @101flavoursofweird @sukipershipper @theghostwthemost @lazypastry @pulpa-de-gorila uhh suddenly ive forgotten everyone i ever know. ok @the-acid-pear ive followed u for like. ever. ur time to shine. and. @kirayoshikage bc i hate u <3 anyway. do it. dont do it. do whatever u want kids ✨✨

[simonalkenmayer]

Saw you on my dashboard and realized i must have followed you at some point and woah… its crazy to see your blog now… when i was a little kid i was obsessed with your book. I distinctly remember bringing it to Hippie Jewish Summer Camp and creating a weird little kid book club which created a friend group of the few kids in the girls bunk who were interested (interesting to note that im pretty sure all of us who read it are No Longer Girls but thats probably correlation not causation or whatever) and went into the woods to figure out how to avoid being eaten (the solution was usually to leave the woods). Until one of my friends took your book out to read in the rain. Anyhoo it is nice to find your blog and see you supportive of trans rights and against antisemitism bc i know what it was like for some of my friends to find out that their favorite childhood author was very much Not Those.

Sorry if its weird reading about a bunch of kids reading your experiment but it is a good memory for me. Thank you for that. Not sure if i believe you. Still not sure but i guess the alternative is believing humans are alone which is kind of depressing.

Anyway my question is how do you recommend i get my hands on physical copies of your books? (I know your blog is online and all i just much prefer paper than staring at a screen for hours) I know I had a copy of the first one when i was a child (still do) but i don’t actually have any memory of how i came to acquire it? I mean, i can see listings for them on Amazon but i would rather not support that whole monopoly (and it probably wasn’t how i got the book originally because i didn’t have access to online shopping as a kid and i mean, you gotta admit its kind of a weird choice of a book for a mom to buy a twelve year old. No offense.) and if its on bookshop i can’t find it in the sea of normal cookbooks. If possible id like to buy them in whatever way supports you directly! :)

Have a wonderful day, and let me know if you ever want, like, a picture of my cat or something. (Also i assume from your blog header that fanart is welcome? But let me know if im wrong about that)

-Dandy

You can order the first book. I haven’t gotten the second back into print.

If you want an autographed copy, just message me and I’ll tell you how to obtain it.

It’s also hilarious to me that you say “when I was a little kid” as if it were plural decades ago. I obtained my tumblr in 2014. I didn’t do anything with it until the book came out in 2015. My website has been around since 2011. I’ve had the same pair of boots the whole time.

I am very honored to have been a part of your youth in a positive way. Thank you for telling me.

[voulezloux]

Hello hello I am here to bother you <3

What’s your comfort movie or tv series?

And what’s a quote from a book that stuck with you?

Hope you have a great day 🫶

this is gonna expose me so hard oh my GOD

my comfort tv shows have been niche one off shows that were on netflix for the longest time before being taken off and i’ve been unable to find them since 😭😭 shows like cheapest weddings that’s from australia, frisky business about a sex toy company called lovehoney from the uk, shit like that. if they were vhs tapes, i’d wear them down so bad that’s how much i watched these shows. my comfort movie is the recording of shrek the musical 😭 it’s literally one of my favorite musicals to ever be made unironically. i have a tattoo for it and i even referenced it in my big bang fic. it was on netflix for the longest time before i was taken off in the past couple years, and i legit had a bit of a panic attack before i found out i could buy it for streaming on amazon prime. i do plan to eventually get a physical copy of the musical just in case!

i could not for the life of me remember literally any quote from any book i’ve read (it’s more of the impact of the overarching story than a quote itself for me) and it’s been so long since i’ve been able to sit down and read a book (i’m very ashamed of this too) so instead i’ll recommend books ive read in the past that i loved growing up

it’s kind of a funny story - ned vizzini

the giver - lois lowry

copper sun - sharon m. draper

endangered - eliot schrefer

flowers for algernon - daniel keyes

number the stars - lois lowry

the outsiders - s. e. hinton

paper towns - john green

the giver is honestly my all time favorite book and i fucking despise the movie adaptation of it (sorry meryl streep) i once annotated and lent my copy of it to my high school boyfriend who then broke up with me a month later and never gave it back so get fucked [redacted]

a lot of these books i read as apart of english courses throughout school, save for it’s kind of a funny story and paper towns. there’s something that john green said in a vlogbrothers video about paper towns that i cannot for the life of me find. i found a scathing review from 2012 about it’s kind of a funny story where they put a 2012 mindset on a book published in 2006. im not say that it makes up for what they said was bad about the book, but it lends itself to why there were ignorant things written in the book. ned vizzini also wrote be more chill, which is also a musical apparently, and sadly took his own life at the end of 2013. it’s kind of a funny story is written based on his stints in psychiatric wards and it hits harder considering the circumstances around his death

copper sun i read in 8th grade and it’s a very good read. i read it so fast that i finished it before i was supposed to (nerd) and my english teacher had us do an assignment where we predicted the end of the book. i asked him what do i do since i finished the book and he told me to act like i didn’t finish the book and pretend to predict the ending. i obviously did not do that and instead gave the ending away and drew a crude stick figure depicting it

flowers for algernon fucking hurts. it’s both a book that makes you feel great and then it takes it away from you because you were feeling too great. i still recommend it bc while it hurts, the story itself is still wonderful. the outsiders is a pretty standard read for middle school kids and still a great book. we read it in 7th grade and watched the movie during the last week of school. number the stars is about the holocaust and two friends with one being jewish living in a nazi occupied town. there’s one scene that has stuck with me for years since i’ve read the book where someone is killed by firing squad by nazi soldiers (i won’t spoil who) and i can’t remember if it happened on screen in the book or im confusing it with the death by firing squad scene in the film life is beautiful (which is also about the holocaust and made my entire 8th grade english class cry) which happens off screen. endangered is about a teen girl trying to save a group for bonobos during a country’s civil war. its apart of a four part series by this author called the ap quartet

sorry to ramble but thank u for asking 🥺

[random-meme-bot]

Finally after all this time, I can finally present my two OCs

Elizabeth (Elly) [Up] & Dan [Down]

Elly is a 20-something year old girl, who after a strange car accident she had as a kid, gained the ability to see and interact with ghosts.

This caused her to not really have many "alive" friends as many people get weirded out by her "talking alone", and by her interests on the supernatural, on the other hand she finds easy to talk and establish relatioships with "ghosts".

Ghosts such as Dan, Elly's BestFriend & Trusty Partner.

Dan always has an smile on his face and a personality to match, he really likes to talk about it's interest specially to new people, he knows basically every ghost on the block so he's always excited to speak to any alive person (much to Elly's displeasure)

He is a mystery, even to Elly, all she knows about him is that he's older than her, and that his reason for not moving away and staying as a ghost is that he didn't manage to become a suscesfull writer.

By far Dan's biggest secret is his form, ghosts don't have a physical form, yet most of them tend to take a form similar to the one they had while they were still alive, Dan says that he prefers to look like that as it helps him get in character for his horror novels, but Elly dosen't buy it...

He runs a BookShop named "Hexes on the Shelves" in which he self-publishes and sells his books, (so far he's only sold one copy of one of the books) (it was to Elly...) (...she never finished it)

They met after some kids challenged Elly to enter "The Haunted Abandoned BookShop", this led to Dan hiring her as to try to attract a more "alive" audience.

Elly's paranormal interests usually leds to them exploring supoused "Haunted" locations and either helping whichever ghost is haunting them "pass away", or cathching whoever is behind the fake hauntings Scooby-Doo style.

To aid them in their adventures (as Elly likes to call them), Elly lets Dan posses her body so he can talk to people, do things she dosen't want to, and use her body as a channeling tool for his "Ghost powers", this leaves Elly as a small ghost with not really a form, and barelly any ghost abilities as she isn't fully-dead.

Don't want to overtuff this post, so random small things under the read more

The hat they wear is Dan's

It's a normal hat so people usually just see a hat floating around

To mimic it's sharp looking mouth while as a ghost, possessed Dan always shows sharp teeth or fangs.

The lighter parts of ghosts are where most of their energy is

When Ghost Elly gets angry she looses control of her powers leading to the tips of her ghost form growing and becoming sharper (which I tried to make look like messy hair but im not sure it looks quite right)

Elly's glasses and the heart on her shirt changes depending of who's soul is in the body.

This makes no sense and I don't have an explanation but I thought it was cool so let me have it.

dan is a diminutive of Daniel, but like with it's form he dosen't really talk about what it was.

[groundlicker]

got tagged by @dratula to tag ppl i want to get to know better or catch up with <3 🫰

fav color: GREEN. i do like a lot of colours (all of) but green is a big one. so many nice shades.

last song: your money, my summer by everything everything! really fun song, also theres a lyric that mentions a dog so I'm in . PUHLEASE listen to ee if you get the chance. blinks cutely

currently watching: im not personally watching anything on my own rn, too movie invested. been watching mob with my partners n we're abt to start s3 ! also almost done w steven universe future. it's pretty good, but still very much a kids show lol. all i care abt is the :3 mouth peridot at the end of the opening theme

currently reading: nothinggggg. i thought i had ordered may leitz new book, but i might have just never checked it outta the bandcamp store. i wanna read that, as well as house of leaves. im just too lazy to find or buy a copy, and i feel like its the kinda book you need a hard copy of. also if anyone has any splatterpunk recs id love em

Currently craving: just had a cig and im eating chocolate covered almonds rn so im pretty set. apparently carls jr went into administration (?) in aus tho so i want carls pretty bad rn . i wanna taste him one last time

coffee or tea: hard one ! i love tea, especially black tea w no sugar or anything. the herby taste is really comforting to me. but i do like a good iced coffee. if i had to pick i would probably say tea though.

erm. sorry iont feel like tagging anyone but i may reblog and tag people later. if you'd like to, you're tagged ! (also whether a username will actually tag or not is hit or miss so 🤷)

[sankttealeaf]

for skills and hobbies: 🍳, ✨️, 🎁 and ✍️

answering fun oc asks from here!!

🍳 - Are they good at cooking? Do they like to? Why and how did they learn to cook, or, if they didn't, why didn't they?

rue LOVES cooking! it's one of her few hobbies she has that isn't directly linked to being bhaal's chosen / child. she's very methodical when it comes to preparing food and will often like to butcher meat herself if it's being used. (pre-tadpole dinner dates with gortash were... interesting, especially because she doesnt fully trust his staff not to try and kill them)

her foster family taught her! her two siblings both worked in the elfsong tavern so would pick up recipes from the kitchen to bring home. she enjoyed watching her mama cook and would go out and buy vegetables for their evening meal and ask lots of questions!

post tadpole it's gale who becomes camp cook and rue does sit by him and watch but no one trusts her cooking enough to let her make something.

✨️ - Are they a magic user? If so, how did they come to learn it (born with it, studied, acquired, etc.)? What does their magic look like when cast? If not, what is their attitude towards magic?

rue is a wild magic sorcerer! i like to think that being born from bhaal's flesh means whatever magics that lie within him got a little wonky when getting into rue. her magic is chaotic and ive always described it as her being able to phsyically hear the thrum of the weave and she looks for notes that are out of tune to the rest and pulls from that. wild magic surges come from her pulling recklessly!

her magic is full of many shades of red! she's self taught as well, which makes for fun conversations between her and gale when she's "clearly casting it wrong - the somatic components look nothing like that!" and "not everyone can go to wizard school, gale. leave me alone or i'll zap you without even speaking a word"

🎁 - If they needed to give a friend a gift, how would they go about choosing one? Would they buy it, make it, or do something else? Would others consider them a good at gift-giving?

rue gets obsessive when gift giving. the gifts have to be PERFECT or else she will simply not give them anything

theres a scene im pretty sure is not going to make the final cut of "let sleeping dogs lie" but she goes on a small gift hunt for gortash's birthday and gets him a little carnivorous plant, a book of essays on research into different power sources for machines and berry pie with ice cream from the bakery they used to steal from as kids. she spends like, the whole day searching for this stuff and it's well thought out.

over time she does get a little less obsessive with finding the right gift and during her time adventuring she'll often give people things she's found that reminded her of them.

✍️ - What does your character's handwriting look like? Do they write letters often? What other contexts do they usually write in, if any?

messy. as a fellow messy handwriting girlie i need to project onto her. sometimes it's illegible. sometimes she gets tired writing a word and will scribble the rest. sometimes she reads it back and goes "i have no idea what im trying to say"

she's always been jealous of gortash's handwriting because it's prettier than hers and there's been times where she's tried to copy it (it never worked)

pre tadpole - she exchanged letters with gortash often, and wrote prayers down to give up to her father.

post tadpole - she keeps a little diary of her journey back to baldurs gate!

[confuseddipshit]

its kinda far away from what i expected it to turn out, strayed a bit in the middle, but its here once again. as always, sorry for the lack of cut, mobile tumblr isnt that fancy. enjoy.

⚠️cw: few mentions of blood, nothing too explicit; maybe some emotional neglect? not much though. much lighter than my last poem. still have some grammar mistakes, but theyre there on purpose, i refuse to write I'm instead or im.

i had a normal childhood, you know.

used to be that one kid that get an A and stay sad for an entire week that it wasnt an A+. used books to escape from reality since i read my first letter, so the first time i read romeo and juliet, i was 5 years old. it was an old copy with some eldritch language that i couldnt quite grasp at the time, too many details passed unnoticed.

but besides the introversion and shyness that appeared out of the blue when i turned 4, it was pretty common. my parents never laid a finger in me, nor threatened to do so.

how i wish they had.

of course, i never gave them reasons to do so, but many do it without reason, let alone a good one, so sometimes i wonder what would have happened if i wasnt too tame.

if i had questioned more. had complained more. screamed and cried and asked for more. i wonder how long would it be before they had lost their temper.

pretty long, thats for sure. they were always so controlled.

i guess, thats the entire point now. the stoicism to which i was exposed since birth couldnt make much good for a child. never experiencing the bad sides means the good sides were, too, hidden; never being hit also means that i never felt desired.

see, i did feel loved sometimes. when my mom brushed my hair before school. when my dad would let me mess with his hair while he was watching the news. when theyd both hold my hands when we were walking to the market to buy some bread for dinner.

but there was a time where it all would come to an end. i couldnt feel desired when mom decided she was done brushing my hair, and i had to decide between learn how to take care of it or cut it at the age of 6. and i certainly didnt feel desired when my dad wouldnt lift and carry me anymore at the age of 8. (he couldnt for health reasons, but of course my 8 years old self could never compreehend it).

now im 19 years old. since i was 14, ive been craving something, but could never get close enough to see what it was - or i was too aware of it, and therefore too scared of not being able to hide that side of mine. i took out the blanket that hid it, some time ago, and came to the conclusion that i crave suffering.

not the emotional kind, that i have a lot. you cant go unharmed from "gifted child, parents pride and joy" to "burnt out queer young adult".

i crave the physical counterpart of it. i crave a reason, a good one, something that justifies the intense unhappyness, this indifference and apathy thats always creeping around the corners, hiding in plain sight.

i crave broken arms and black eyes, i crave bruises and crooked noses and raw knuckles. i crave a few broken teeth and a blood-red stained record in school, with a few too many fights and a few too little good grades.

i crave the disappointment and the freedom it brings when no one expects nothing else from you.

i crave intenseness and adrenaline. i crave jumpscares and fist fights, and damn right, i crave pain.

hope you liked it, all feedback is welcome, please like and reblog if you enjoyed, makes a lot of difference for the artist. tell me if i forgot some kind or trigger/content warning or tag, im kinda new to this.

-> you can request a story, if you have something in your head that you think its too weird to ask other authors, i love weirdness and will write for anyone and anything that i can read about so. pretty much every existent character :) thats it for today bye

[nanjokei]

whats the first manga you ever read? and did you get it from the school library lmao

first manga i ever read was shugo chara, and no i did not. i bought it with my own money from kinokuniya while we were on vacation 😭 i wanted rozen maiden but i was happy to buy anything peach pit bc i was obsessed with them

before the big overseas manga crash circa 2010 manga was a little more affordable (i still buy ebooks but i only collect phys copies of stuff i know i already like and even then its rare)... i have that standard of price in mind so when i see current prices im like damn. i cannot be gambling on a series then hating it and being stuck with st that costs a fortune (relatively)

im not from a place that really has libraries like that also. we had a school library at the private school i attended and even thats rare. it was just a room thats the size of 1.5 classrooms with a lot of scholastic books. actually funny story in first grade i joined the library club and i borrowed exactly one book and took the entire year to give it back because uh. idk how to say this other than i was a very nd kid, i didnt even fucking read it i just got scared of giving it back late so i didnt give it back until i was told id have to pay for it and i didnt want my parents to get mad at me (they wouldnt have....probably? but you know)

but yeah. our public libraries barely exist in our lives...!!!

[midnight-versse]

ikr :( and wait? your school's got a suggestion box for books? that sounds so cool cause mine's stuck in the stone age w outdated, snooze-worthy books, meant for, like, kids?? 😭

and a blind date w a book event?? too?? that sounds intriguing im so jelly, wish my school did cool events like that. what's it like though??

as for pirating im kinda clueless?? but if you're referring to the unauthorised copying distribution or the use of copyrighted material, then i would say it's a bit of a double-edged sword?? on one side it's rad cause it gives ppl who don't have libraries nearby or can't afford to buy every book a chance to read them.

but then, on the other side it's kinda sketch?? cause it's basically swiping stuff w/o giving props to the creators who poured their heart into making it.

so it's like a whole tug-of-war thing???? 😭💀it's like balancing access w respecting the creator.

hi :3

you're so lucky to have access to a library where you can borrow all these cool books. meanwhile, i basically live in a ditch, lol. we don't have any libraries around here, so if I want to read anything, it's online shopping time. it's such a drag. 😭💀

aww thats actually really sad :( i love my school library. they even have a box where we can suggest books for them to buy, and they have a blind date with a book event going on right now. what are your thoughts on pirating...?

[ablednt]

I think everyone needs at least one unassuming media they read way too much into and like it only counts if you sound absolutely insane talking about it like you Cannot Be Normal about it, mentally you’ve got all the characters and plot points pinned up on a wall and your putting all these strings around and it’s largely incoherent but makes sense To You.