#like ideally yes! but i am going alone and don't want to talk to people at all or I'll have a heart attack and die

[cowardlycowboys]

"do you wanna use the bar??" no im scared

[ilydeku]

izuku loves to talk about you during interviews

- anything and every topic it will ALWAYS be about you

- the question won't even be remotely related to you and still izukus answer will revolve around "y/n, my wife!!" <3

- oh, the glint in his eyes, the peaking smile when he speaks about you, lover boyyy

- the media knows he LOVE LOVES you, they think it's funny for this big, confident, mighty hero to be reduced to sap when it comes to you

- it's like his whole is personality is HIS WIFE

- the journalists lowkey get so SICK of him for this, they don't want to invite him anymore 😭

- but they kinda have to, due to to his status as #1

"Good evening everyone and welcome Hero Talk! Tonight we'll be staring someone you all know and love, single handedly the greatest hero of all time, Deku! Alright, Deku how are you tonight?"

"Feeling pretty good! This is one of my wife's favorite shows, so I'm even more grateful to be here. And how are you?"

"Oh, same old. Really, just living. Now, we wanted to ask you some fun questions. Let's start with this one. Why did you want to become a hero?"

"Wow, haha! That really brings be back to my youth. When I was kid, my biggest influence was All Might, and he miraculously became my mentor. He was a good hero, and a good man. I wanted to be just like him: fearless, persevering, saving people with I smile. I would beg my mom everyday to watch this video on the computer of him saving a bunch a people. I was really swayed by All Might. I wanted to become a hero to make an impact in the world. I wanted to save people with a smile too."

"That sounds really endearing, Deku. I remember All Might's reign. He wasn't number one on the top charts all those years for nothing. So, did you ever think you'd be standing as Japan's top hero?"

"Well, it was never really my goal to become number one. That was Kacchan's- Dynamight's. My dream was, like I said, to become a hero and save others. But I have to say, it really is a blessing. I'd like to thank my Mom, All Might, my friends, and especially my wife for who I've become. My Mom has really done a lot for me growing up: protecting, encourage, and just always caring for me. All Might has kinda been that father figure for me when my Dad was away. My friends have shown me what it's like to work together and really be part of a heart. And my wife? Haha...I can't thank her enough for all the times she's been right by my side, even before we were together. Nothing I can say or do will ever be enough to express how much she means to me."

"Mm. Quite the supportive group. Your wife sounds like quite the lady!"

"She is. She's wonderful."

"Moving on to the next question, do you use social media often?"

"Occasionally, yes?? My wife uses it regularly, posting about us when we go out and stuff. It's mostly for her family to see how she's doing. She handles most of my official accounts. She says it's to be more appealing to the public, and I guess to show that there's more to heroes on the inside?? I'm not really sure, but I trust her process. Although, I'd rather be appealing to her alone."

"The public will always interested in a hero's private life! Now, Deku, what is your ideal setting of relaxation?"

"My wife doesn't like places that are too crowded or noisy, so maybe a cozy day at the beach?- but early in the morning or in the evening when the crowds calm down. Maybe a movie theatre, but days after the movie is released so it's just us together. Actually, a lazy day at home together is great too! Cooking meals and watching a movie on the couch? Really, any place is relaxing if my wife is with me."

(am i questioning Deku's wife or Deku!?) "How scenic! Those sound very fitting for you!! How about any restaurants?"

"Not really. My wife really knows how to cook, it's amazing! I love her home-cooked meals, so there's no way I'd go out of my way to a restaurant. But if my wife is feeling it, I'll be sure to make reservations."

"(sigh)"

"(smiling warmly)"

[0luv9]

forlorn || mattheo riddle

Summary: based on this request.

Beware: angst, fluff, slightly aged-up characters, Hufflepuff reader, sweet reader, she/her pronouns used, mostly in second person, jealousy, mistreatment, a little bit of blood, slightly commanding(?) and intimidating Mattheo.

Words: 7.8k (not beta read)

Note: I am sorry luv, I don't think I did justice to the request. I also apologize for taking so long. I still hope you like it, even if it's just a bit. @cat-loves-music

Mattheo Riddle, son of Voldemort, or Tom Riddle if you will—for a more humane approach. But then, there's no humanity in the way he's treated. Always an outsider, always a monster.

There is wealth to his name; after all, he is the only living heir of Salazar Slytherin. However, his blood is corrupt, shunned by the very people who kissed the steps his baby feet took. Looked down on by the blood supremacists and not accepted by the other side, the "good side."

Even he was tired of the same sob story. He doesn't even need to introduce himself; they already have a preconceived image of him in their minds. He could try to fix his image in an ideal world, but even then, what would he say?

'Hello, everyone, I'm Mattheo Riddle, son of the man who once threatened your lives. Please welcome me with warm hands.'

Too cliché? Yes, but it's true and the only truth he knew.

Riddle didn't even know why the name Riddle was cursed and didn't know what his father did that made everyone's hate transcend generations. What made their hatred justified and his hate a crime? He didn't know until it was too late.

Mattheo was raised by the only living relative of his, his mother's aunt—the one who died recently. The one who kept all this hidden away from him hid all the Hogwarts' letters, raised him like her own, and protected him until her last breath. She loved him but all within the vicinity of the manor. He didn't know the world that existed beyond those walls.

He knew about the world outside only through the books she'd let him read. He thought it would feel liberating to step off the lavish floors onto the rich earth. It was everything but that.

"But Nona, why can't I go outside?" he remembers asking that silly question when he was about nine. What he wouldn't do to get that naivety back.

"Because, my dear, there are people out there who wouldn't like you. There are bad people outside ready to punish you," he also remembers crying when she told him that. He didn't understand why people would hate him. He just wanted to try the chocolate frogs he read about.

He just wanted to talk to all the different animals out there, the same way he could talk to the garden snakes.

"But I didn't do anything wrong, Nona. Tell them that I'm a good boy. I can even give them some of my toys. Will they like me then?" If only it were that easy. His Nona cried for the first time in front of him then, looking at all the toys he had set onto her lap, looking at her with teary eyes, pleading, "I didn't do anything wrong, Nona, I promise."

Mattheo didn't understand her tears back then, but now as he stands all alone, those same tears fall out his eyes. It's useless. "They'll know that someday, moon pie. You aren't wrong. They'll know." They'll know? What a fucking joke.

Mattheo tries to enjoy the view in front of him, you know. But how can he? When his batchmates are out there partying and enjoying life, he's been a lone wolf all his life. Yet in moments like this, he seems to forget his old ways of existing.

There's not much he can do anyway; he's not needed anywhere. In fact, they all want him gone. Finding beauty in small things is hard when misery clings to him. There's self-loathing in the way he thinks about the night and himself. There's nothing positive he can say.

You'd think that he must've gotten used to it all by now. No, he hasn't; it only got worse. At least little Mattheo held hope that people would understand someday or the other. Every bit of hope was destroyed by the very people who would've feared him had his father been alive. In moments like this, he wished he could see the man, live as the son they paint him as.

He'd have someone to lean onto then, someone to call his own. At least his father would've loved him. But this last bit of consolidation too was stolen away from him when he got to know that he was a backup plan for his father. Mattheo Riddle was not supposed to exist. His father wanted to live on forever; he was the last option the so-called Dark Lord had, to produce an heir and have them further his cause, and control his life as Tom lived on his last lifeline.

But all of it died with him. Mattheo promised himself that he would never be the man they all expected him to be, the man they wanted to point fingers at. So, he stayed in line. But then he thinks, sometimes, maybe, what if—you know?

He simply stares up at the brightly lit sky, it's a shame that he's the only one out there to appreciate the scenic beauty because he's physically and mentally incapable of appreciating anything, you can't blame him now, can you?

Cold breeze in mid-August, how fucking ridiculous just like this life of his, so unlike his peers, who were out there partying and having the time of their lives, the music vibrating through the walls was like salt on wounds. He'd like to drink a few and chat with his friends but then again, he hasn't got any. And it's the bitter truth that he's not welcome there, he'd be greeted with nasty looks if he tried to enter any such party, they'd all glance his way like the ominous thing he is. It's times like this when he really contemplates it.

Mattheo looks down from the height he's on, no one would care anyway, the fall will kill him, might just give it an actual try unlike those previous attempts- he's been a coward all his life, never ready to face the extremes of life but he has nothing to protect at the moment, he's come far too long, life was never going to be worth it.

He climbs over the railing onto the brick ledge, sitting down for a moment, to take it all in for the last time ever. Mattheo remembers all the whispers that followed him, the suspicious looks passed along the way, those words of disdain- at the same time the thoughts of a happy life enter his mind, it all feels unattainable, in fact, he's so far gone he can't even picture joy, all he sees is bright colours when he thinks of a happy life.

Mattheo had desperately sought relief all his life, but the pain only worsened with time, it's only reasonable to want to end this feeling of hopelessness. The weight of his family's legacy feels heavy on his shoulders. He slouches over and looks down once again, sighing as his eyes shift to the ring on his finger, the other Gaunt ring, he slowly removes it- a pathetic heir he is, he doesn't deserve it, couldn't live up to the name, disappointing both sides of the world.

Maybe they should have destroyed this along with his father's ring but apparently, his dear sweet Nona thought he could change their fate, change the course of history, change the Gaunt legacy for the better, fuck- he couldn't even try and change people's perception about him. Even in this sense, he's nothing like his predecessors, incapable of leaving a mark, of changing the world, be it for the better or the worse. He's just fucking worthless- he fiddles with the ring as he shifts a bit closer to the edge, ready to let go of it.

"Nice ring," he turns around startled, "Mattheo, isn't it?" not Riddle? He hadn't heard his own name in a long time, no one had directly addressed him in years let alone called him by his first name. It all feels foreign, he simply nods not knowing what to say. "Do you mind if I join you?" you don't wait for a response though and carefully bend and climb through the gaps between the two rails, settling down beside him. "Hi, I'm-" he doesn't hear it, he's too focused on your face, you were dolled up, for the party he thinks, but then why are you here of all places? Was this some kind of prank? He steals a glance back at the entrance and the seemingly empty hallway, to see if anyone is waiting for a reaction.

"You know you shouldn't sit so close to the edge, you might fall down," you grab his forearm urging him to move back, your hand feels warm on his skin, it feels unnatural, his hands are always cold. Even though it's on him for a couple of seconds he can't help the multiple emotions going on about in his mind and before he can sort them out, his mouth decides to act on its own, "Why aren't you at the party?" "Oh-" you look disappointed, and he apologises right away, not wanting to upset the only person who had the decency to talk to him, "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked," he's quick to defend himself, it's a natural response after all but you only seemed amused, "No, it quite alright, I was just surprised by your voice-" "Is it that bad?" "Gosh no! It's just not what I expected, quite rough, it's nice," you are quick to shut him up, "And about your question, I am annoyed at my friends forcing me to try more drinks and all, I just came up here to relax."

"I can leave if you'd like," you add on as an afterthought, but you really didn't want to go, it was the only place with some peace, unlike the loud corridors and dorms, where you were mad at your friends and were in no mood for a party. "No, it's quite alright, I was just surprised," he tries to lighten the mood, repeating your words jokingly, it works, you laugh and properly look at him instead of the waters ahead.

"Haha so funny," you say in a monotonous voice, trying to act like you didn't just laugh but you can't contain your smile, and he finds it quite beautiful. You look down at the ring between the two of you, "it's a beautiful ring I must say," You compliment it again since he hadn't acknowledged it before. Mattheo thanked you quietly trying to think of a response that might not make you run away from him.

It's been only a few minutes and you've said more nice things to him than he has ever heard in his whole life, it's quite ridiculous when he thinks about it, seemingly you find it quite easy to compliment him. He stays quiet not knowing how to take a compliment, but you don't let the silence continue, you look around trying to find something to talk about and soon enough you start talking and he's glad, "You know about those plants right there?" you point to the shrubs at some distance from the castle walls. Mattheo shakes his head unable to recall if he had seen them before. "It's alright but now that you know, you have something to look forward to this upcoming month!" you smile yet again, cheerful that you have something to share.

"What's special about them?" "It's not the plant itself but the fireflies that live there!" Mattheo tries hard to keep up with your energy and pace, "Why aren't they out now? They aren't migratory, are they?" "That's what makes it special unlike fireflies that are present throughout the summer, these ones light up only for the last week of August," "I'll look forward to it," "You should! I missed it last year and then everyone thought I was lying when I mentioned it." Mattheo frowns, "No one knows about them? Not even the professors?" "The professors would know but it wasn't that serious that I'd take it up to them," Mattheo finds it difficult to relate, he always would let everyone know that he was in the right if the facts favour him because no way in hell would he let anyone see him in the wrong light, he couldn't bear to be in the wrong.

And it slips out his mouth, "I would've argued till they knew I was right," "I don't like arguing though, reminds me of my parents, they parted ways because they argued a lot, so I try to avoid it myself," his lips purse trying to think of an appropriate response, "Anyway, you are in Slytherin right?" it wasn't a question, you just knew, "I'm in Hufflepuff, nice to meet you!" you turn towards him and extend your hand with a smile, he can't help but mirror your smile, "Nice to meet you indeed." Your hand feels soft in his, he was finding it hard to let go but you pull your hand back almost instantly- remembering something, "OH right I forgot, do you like chocolates?" Mattheo was quite taken aback by your energetic self, it was infectious, "Of course you do, it's a silly question, I mean who doesn't like chocolate-" you stop midway and fix him with a scrutinising look, "Unless you are some heartless monster-" "Nah I like chocolate alright," "Good good."

You fish through your jacket's pocket and pull out two chocolate bars, "It's muggle chocolate," you place one in his hand, "Muggle? I've never had muggle candy," Mattheo inspects the small sweet in his hand, "You are missing out then!" you chuckle as you take the wrapper off yours, "I'll eat it tomorrow, thank you," He pockets it and looks ahead with a small smile, tonight's beautiful now that he looks at it.

"You are a muggle born then?" Mattheo can't help but want to know more, because how dare his fucking father go after your lot, "Yep, I was surprised you know? To receive the letter, I thought it was some prank but of course, after a few days I realised how real it was, couldn't have been happier, to be away from home." It's funny because all Mattheo wants to do is go back to the gloomy old mansion and here you were saying the opposite, the stark difference between the two of you was obvious to him.

You ramble on and he listens, it's nothing but enjoyable to listen to mundane stories being narrated with such interest, he finds himself smiling a bit too much, to the point where his face hurts but he doesn't care because you are quite the lovely company to be around.

Muggle-born, the same year as him, Hufflepuff, living with your mom- it's not the best back home he gathers that much. You were angry at your friends and were going to hold a grudge if they didn't apologise. He learned a lot about you in that one hour and learned a few things about him as well, he didn't know he had jokes like that OR you were just too kind to laugh at his bad quips, whatever it was he was grateful because you didn't make him feel bad or like a burden. Mattheo was glad that you were the talkative one and that you didn't expect him to share anything if he wasn't comfortable, also the fact that he didn't want to send you running away by talking more about himself.

He admires the fond smile you wear when you talk, the stars reflect a bit too brightly in your eyes, and he inhales breathing in your scent, it's surreal, the moment. Mattheo didn't quite think properly until you left, wishing him a good night, "it was nice spending time with you, Mattheo!" He wonders if you knew how much it meant to him.

...

He finds out your name the next day and sees you everywhere, it's annoying because he was tired since he couldn't sleep thinking all night about you and now he has to see your face again. Now that he knows you, he can't seem to avoid you, earlier it was easy to be blind but now, everything else seems like a blind spot but you. Or maybe it's that his head is not hanging low, avoiding looking up at people.

Mattheo got over the irritation rather quickly, discreetly looking at you, eyes following every movement of yours. But you don't look at him once, he was just like any other guy to you, the realisation both hurts and feels nice, knowing that you don't demonise him but also the fact that he's no one special either. And maybe, he can live with that.

He notices the large number of people you keep around, you are never alone, always surrounded by a group and you are always the one talking, you are clearly popular. How had he not noticed you before? But then again he knew no one in the school apart from the professors, he never tried to get to know anyone because of course his fate wouldn't allow that.

Mattheo seeks out the solace of the library to keep you out of his mind for a while but the plan doesn't seem to work when he finds the chocolate you gave him in his bag. He simply sighs, knowing that there is no escape, unwarps the sweet and pops it into his mouth, shutting his eyes, and recalls your sweet smile. Warmth takes over his body, it feels nice like this, he has to talk to you once again because that can't be the only interaction he has with you, not when it's all he can think about. He breathes out slowly, staring down at the wrapper and mindlessly reading the information on the back, his jaw tightens as he realizes his stupid pathetic feelings. Mattheo puts the wrapper in his quill case and tries to study with a head full of you.

...

Okay, now it was really starting to bother him, he practically couldn't keep his eyes off you, it's like a spell had charmed him in. He wasn't even trying to be discreet at this point, he downright stared at you from a distance, it was creepy, he was aware of that but he couldn't bring himself to give a damn. Mattheo doesn't like this new feeling you've instilled in him, it's sweet and it's fucking uncomfortable. He finds it extremely difficult to get rid of you from his thoughts, so he gives up on trying and lets his mind go on autopilot.

The way you talked to him without any judgement in your eyes that day, the images of you repeated over and over again in his mind. Even when he sees you with someone else he can't help but think you are in front of him telling him a story, with those animated expressions of yours, but then seconds later he comes to his senses and sees the smile that's not directed at him, the one you gave to everyone, him too. He thinks it was your pity, that made you talk to him. He didn't feel like he was burdening you then but now when he thinks of approaching you, he knows he'd be burdening you. Your life looks no different, every day is full of joy, and you aren't smiling any less.

Why would you talk to him of all people? Perhaps, you only talked to him that day because you needed a change of scenery and not because you wanted to, he's wrong in thinking that but he's also deluded. It's the only way he keeps himself at peace, to not see meaning in your words, to not long for your company.

But he's a Riddle after all, some things just run in your blood, he has his eyes set on you and he finds it difficult to look away. New dream of his, and he'd like to have it, no matter how unattainable it feels. Yet he hasn't got a clue, it's all too new, and he doesn't know what to do, he'd like to have a plan but what would the plan even say? Go and talk to her? Yeah, like he's about to embarrass himself in front of her.

...

Your eyes stretch at the sight of him sitting in the library, alone but not in some deserted corner, he had claimed the whole couch in the centre of the room, sitting right in the middle, reading a book leaning back, a frown on his face. He looked intimidating, and to be honest, you were scared of him, the little beer in you that night had given you the courage to approach him, maybe your fate was too kind to let you find him that night but now your nerves were on fire.

It was no secret to you that he had been staring at you the past couple of weeks, but you couldn't understand the look on his face, his jaw was always clenched, eyes narrowed, and not a hint of emotion on his face. Was he mad at you? Was he the planning on-

No. You didn't like to think about it, you didn't want him to be the man they paint him as, he's just a boy, your age, maybe that's another reason why you hadn't approached him. Staying away because you were scared that they'd be right, you'd rather delve into what ifs than actually be heartbroken, your imagination brought you bliss.

But would it really be your mind if it would let you just forget it? You think and think, getting worked up over every little interaction you've had with him. How could he be evil? He talked to you so nicely the other day, even- even though you were a muggle-born, a mud blood. But when you see how he looks at you, you can't help but feel scared.

It really was an intimidating sight, your courage wore thin but you had made up your mind. You approach him cautiously, as you greet him, you start feeling jittery and flushed, "Hey Mattheo."

Mattheo jerked his head up as he heard your voice, surprised, caught off guard in fact, he didn't trust his words just yet so he simply nodded at you, acknowledging your presence, closing the book and setting it aside, all his attention on you. "I came here to study and noticed you," you look around bashfully before continuing, "I just wanted to ask you if you liked the chocolate I gave you the other day, you know the one with dark brown wrapper-" "Yeah I did," He stops you from rambling on, not that he had any problem with it but you clearly seemed nervous, he just wanted to ease your nerves, "Right so-" you quickly pull out a small pack of the chocolate from your sling bag placing it beside him, straightening up, "I'll go then, enjoy-" you are quick to turn away from him, cursing yourself in your mind, blaming yourself for making things more awkward than they already were.

Mattheo stops you in your tracks as he calls you by your name, you turn around, and he speaks in that cold voice of his, "You said you were here to study right?" you nod timidly, clutching onto the straps of your bag, he leans back and with a flick of his wrist, a table and chair are summoned in front of him, "then study," he motions to the chair opposite of him.

You were quite taken aback, you stood there for a bit before actually registering his words, and you quietly sat down, you didn't have it in you to disobey him, he was Mattheo Riddle for fucks sake, he looked and sounded like someone who doesn't take no for an answer.

A small smile tugged at his lips as he watched you carefully sit down, looking down, not meeting his gaze, he couldn't believe it, you obliged his wishes? Mattheo leaned back fully, arms folding as he watched you, brown eyes capturing each detail, amusement crawled over his face as he watched you pull out multiple books all at once, various colourful stationery items sprawled out all over the table. You looked pretty like this, stray strands of hair framing your face, lips pursed in concentration. He knew how creepy he was being, so he opened his book again and tried to read but he simply couldn't not when you were sitting in front of him, he relished your presence and this was so unlike the others, every time he had looked at you- you had been surrounded by people, so it was a sight to behold, only for him to admire. So he did, in secret, glancing up at you, every few seconds.

It's been two hours and not once did he get bored of looking at you, a small smile lingered on his face as you closed your books and looked up at him, "How's that book?" you nod towards the book in his hand- the one he was supposed to be reading, "Good, good" he bites the inside of cheek as he lies through his teeth, "Got everything done?" he sets his book aside, fixing you with a soft stare, "Yes, I just wanted to revise a bit, I forget stuff easily if I don't revise regularly," you tilt your head a bit, his eyes were much softer now, and it made your heart flutter a bit, feeling a lot more comfortable than before, so you do what you usually do when you are comfortable- talk.

"By the way, did you study for the upcoming herbology test?" And before he could answer, you pulled out a piece of paper from your bag, "This is like the holy grail, a senior gave it to me last year, it has all the specifics, of recognising plants and how to make generalised guesses about their uses-" you speak in a hushed voice, slightly leaning over the table, eyes wide as you shared your little secret, "you can have it, I have it memorised haha" You bless him with that pretty smile of yours, pushing the paper towards him, you don't let him refuse the offer and start talking about something else, he gives you a small smile, and it makes your insides turn into mush, you bite your lip trying to contain your smile, eyes shy as you start fiddling with your hands on your lap.

You talked for hours, he was much more open this time, and the conversation flowed smoothly between the two of you, it was you who mostly did the talking but he didn't seem to mind he looked more than pleased, he didn't like talking much, it seemed, so you filled in the gaps, made it look so effortless like it was easy talking to him, maybe it was easy for you but to him, it made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. You two stopped only when the librarian came in and told you it was curfew time, your eyes widened as you turned to look back at him, an amused smile on your face, both of you got up, walking beside each other, not uttering a word till you were out of the librarian's stern gaze.

"I made you miss dinner-" your eyes widened further as soon as the two of you got out, stepping into the empty hallway, "it's alright, I don't mind," you playfully rolled your eyes at him, he chuckled at your antics, "yeah sure, but your stomach would, but- we can sneak into the kitchens, you know, sneak some food out," you wiggle your eyebrows at him with a sheepish grin on your face, he scoffs in disbelief, a fond smile gracing his face, "something tells me, this isn't your first time sneaking around."

"No, it's not," you chuckle a bit before continuing, "So, are you coming or not?" you purse your lips, looking up at him with doe eyes and he questions your motives right then because there's no way you didn't have a clue about what you were doing, "would be an idiot to say no," he muttered under his breath shaking his head, "I didn't catch that-", "Yes, I am."

You give him a pleased smile, you looked so happy at that moment, he was rooted in his position as you started walking ahead of him, he had to look away to catch his breath, "Merlin" he exhaled, a hand reaching over to his chest to soothe his loud thumping heart, and in that moment he knew he was a goner.

"Mattheo-?" you turned around since you didn't hear him walk with you but soon he rushed to your side the moment you looked back, you gave him another smile as he walked beside you, he looked straight ahead then, you needed to stop doing that because no fucking way- would he be able to let go of you.

You lead him to the kitchen, both of you cautious, well just you- he was having the time of his life, getting a detention would be worth it, just a small price to pay. Mattheo repeatedly stole glances here and there, the moment you entered the kitchen, you grabbed his arm and pulled his painfully slow self in, "gosh- you sure do walk slow," you glare at him, but there's no malice in your eyes, instead they are just amused, you roll your eyes when he just shrugs in response, moving over to the tables. Mattheo just looked at you with fond eyes, he was just trying to buy more time with you by walking slowly and he didn't feel one bit guilty about it, he felt a bit too proud. 

You sigh dramatically before returning to him with a small tray in your hands, "I didn't find anything else, apart from these blueberry muffins," your eyes wander around once more trying to see if you missed something, "usually there's still stuff left, that's weird- oh well, at least we have these," you give him a small defeated smile, setting the tray on the table, shrugging as you felt that muffins weren't worth the effort of sneaking around and that you only troubled him further. Mattheo saw through you and he hated that you were feeling that way, "didn't I mention this to you? I love muffins, especially the blueberry ones." he gave you a small smile, picking up the muffin, taking a bite, "yeah, that's good, way better than the dry vegetable and chicken pies they make." He didn't look at you as he said that, but you smiled, realising what he was trying to do, you wanted to cry, why was he being so considerate? You were now beginning to go down a spiral, of all the times you thought of him in the wrong light, how dare you even think like that? 

Mattheo caught you staring and it was hard for him to control the heat that rose to his cheeks, he cleared his throat, "What? You don't like these? Well, guess they are all for me-" he teased, taking the tray in his hand and started walking away, "Hey! No-" you rushed after him with an amused smile, "I want one too," and the tray was shoved back into your hands, "better not eat all of them, yeah?" he gave you a small cheeky wink, leaning against the table, finishing the muffin in his hand. 

Mattheo offered to walk you back to your dorm, he didn't have to insist much, after all, you wanted to spend time with him too, you easily agreed after a couple of tries. You two walked in comfortable silence, as you neared the Hufflepuff dormitory, you were thinking about how you'd part ways, overthinking about what would be appropriate and in the mix of it, you just gave him an awkward side hug, squeezing his arm a bit before mumbling a quick "goodnight" and rushing in. 

He couldn't believe his eyes, were you blushing? No way, he must be imagining things. Mattheo could still feel your warm touch lingering on his side, the scene playing over and over again in his mind, he wanted to scream out of excitement- he was getting cuteness aggression, had to be it, his fists clenched at his side as he stared at the door, for god knows how long, if he could- he would've squeezed you into a bone-crushing hug, but you were quick, left him speechless. 

He walked back to the Slytherin dorm without any trouble, he closed the door behind himself and leaned back against it, he was pretty sure his skin was burning with all the warmth that was flowing through his veins. Merlin, he was embarrassing! Mattheo sighed contently, a big smile on his face as he replayed the whole day, your smile- 

...

The next few days, you guys didn't talk at all, he was back to staring and this time, when you did catch him in the act, instead of pretending you didn't see him, you gave him a knowing smile and a wave. Lingering looks, and subtle greetings, were sweet, Mattheo was now on a new high, he couldn't get enough. But for some reason, he maintained his distance, he stuck to looking at you from afar, it felt comfortable this way, not wanting to taint your reputation by talking to you in front of others, he'd talk to you if it was only you but you were never alone. 

Mattheo starts seeing life for what it is, when he looks at the trees outside, the castle in its entirety, he feels like he is seeing it for the first time. How had he missed this? He finds himself back at the astronomy tower, he looks at the lake ahead, it was a sight to behold, and he is starting to appreciate the view, these days he didn't care about much, you were all he could think about and you were more than pleasant, it was as if the grey lens of his life was replaced with a coloured one, and it would be foolish to credit anyone else but you for it, and he was fucking grateful for it. The reason he was here was, that it was the end of August, and the fireflies you so damn wished to see would be out tonight, he came here just in the hope that he'll get to see you alone. 

He was zoning out when some movement near the edge of the lake caught his eye, it was you- with a few of your friends, his smile faltered the moment he saw some blonde Hufflepuff dude pull you to his side, slinging a hand over your shoulder, you all walked towards the shrubs and didn't have to wait long before the fireflies lit up and started raising above the shrubs. He was about to leave, he was mad for some reason, really pissed- but then he took another look at you. You were standing a bit behind your friends, who had all their attention on the flies ahead, you seemed sad, looking down, messing with the soil beneath your shoe, hands in your jacket. Mattheo could make out the pout on your face, the deflated shoulders, you then turned to look right where he was, and he felt his breath catch in his throat.

Your posture straightened immediately, the pretty smile returning to your face as you looked up at the astronomy tower balcony, having spotted him, you waved at him. Mattheo nodded, forearms on the railing as he leaned forward, a smile gracing his features, the anger leaving him. You excitedly pointed at the sky, and he nodded, you turned back around when your friend called you and he couldn't look away, he was staring at you till you left, Mattheo started feeling the warmth creep up to him when he saw you making an effort to steal back glances at him. He felt seen, fucking special- 

...

Mattheo still hadn't talked to you, he couldn't catch you alone really, it was starting to get to him, he longed to hear your voice, hear you talk to him- and yet, he didn't have it in him to approach you in front of others, it would ruin you, you thrived in the company of others, he couldn't snatch that away from you. Maybe if he was a bit more selfish, he'd do it, snatch you away from others, have you all to himself but he wasn't about that life, it was something his father would do, he's sure of it, go after what he wants, not caring what others would think- 

Mattheo feels like passing out when you deliberately look at him just to give him a shy smile, a flushed look on your face. He walks away because he cannot handle looking at you, the urge is too strong, to just take you into his arms, he walks out to the empty hallway, a hand over his chest- it had become a subconscious habit of his, whenever you gave him that smile, the one that felt like it was just reserved for him, yeah that one, he felt like he was in heaven, you sent his heart rate through the roof when you did that, it borderline hurt him since he couldn't do much to satiate this feeling. 

The longing was etched into his eyes when he looked at you, one thing he realised was, that when he had his head up, no one dared to look his way, he was enjoying that power for some reason, it filled his veins with something dark, he liked seeing people look down instead of him looking down, it felt fucking nice, and it felt even better when the only person that did look at him, was you. People averted their eyes when he entered the room, choosing to ignore his presence but the fear was very much evident, so he knew they didn't see him staring at you but at this point, he really couldn't bring himself to make an active effort to look away even if someone noticed. 

It was no lie, that Mattheo wasn't up to date with all the gossip and news, he just lived life passively but now that he was out there more, he couldn't help but hear the words that fell onto his ears, Yule Ball, huh. WAIT- ball dance? That meant having a date, who were you going with? Fuck his mind was rambling shit to him, he could not let someone else take you to a fucking dance as their date, no, he wouldn't let that happen. He had to get to you before someone else did, it was nighttime, and tomorrow's the weekend, approaching you will be the first thing he'll do after he wakes up, he has to plan shit out, you know, make it special and heartfelt, you deserved nothing less.

But his heart nearly broke when he overheard two Slytherin guys talking about you. The way one of them talked about you made his blood boil, his jaw clenched tight, nails drawing blood from his palms as they dug into his coarse skin, "I told you not to ask her out, plenty of guys tried and guess what? She rejected them all." the guy who was being talked to only scoffed angrily, "She's a fucking slut, that's what she is, leading people on-" the other boy just stopped him and Mattheo exhaled, a bit relieved because if it wasn't for him, Mattheo would've smacked the guy and pushed him to the fucking wall, "dude, come on, that's not true, all she did was smile at you when you gave her your seat, she's a nice girl," these guys were in the fifth year, he recognised that much, "sure, whatever," the guy walked away to his room, making sure to loudly slam the door behind him. 

Mattheo then gets up and walks towards the guy left behind, the one who stood up for you, when he stands in front of him, he sees the dude cower into the seat, Mattheo tries to speak in a polite voice but the anger is still radiating off him, his irritated stare didn't help either, "she doesn't have a date, yeah?" his hands were behind his back, over one another, the blood still fresh, "who-o?" the guy stutters out, looking around for help but no one was there- "You know who," he fixes him with a glare, before uttering your name out loud, "no no, she doesn't, rejected them all." Mattheo then nods at him and leans back, then finally he walks back to his room, allowing the guy to catch his breath. 

Mattheo feels relief wash over him as he lets the information sink in, okay good, you didn't have a date but then again, why were you rejecting them all? What if you reject him as well? Yeah, he couldn't handle that wound, he'd fucking die, he contemplates whether he should ask you or not but he's done fucking waiting, waiting for his fate to fuck things over, if things are going to be fucked, he'll be the one to do it. 

...

Mattheo puts on a black shirt and black pants, not caring to tuck his shirt in, the cold metal ring stings him as he puts it on, the feeling is grounding, he's doing something his dad would've done and for some reason that doesn't feel half as bad, he feels like himself, it was like something had possessed him, the confidence was unwavering, even as he stepped out into the crowded hallway, hands in his pockets, looking ahead, people parted, giving him space and Merlin, did that feel fucking powerful. He rolled his sleeves up to his elbows as he approached the room you'd be in, you always were there on the weekends, with your friends and he didn't think before he stepped into the room, heads turning towards him in shock, even yours but the shock on your face was soon replaced with a smile, quietly waving at him and that right there, fed right into his ego.

He walked over to you in a few quick strides, eyes zeroed in on you, nothing else mattered at that moment, "Can I talk to you?" To say you were surprised would be an understatement, you were ecstatic, you've wanted this for so long, to talk to him in front of others, you never knew if you should because he might've felt uncomfortable, "Yes ofcourse, what is it?" you nod, a smile still on your face, "Alone," his voice was cold, "oh yeah, sure-" you step towards him, thinking he'd lead you somewhere private but he stayed rooted in his place, eyes never leaving yours, he stayed quiet for a bit, taking in your whole self, the bright clothes you were dressed in, the equally bright smile on your face. Then he looked over your head, to the shocked faces of your friends, "Alone." It came out as an order, he couldn't care less. 

Mattheo liked this newfound authority, he also relished in the fact that you were being so compliant as if you wanted this to happen and he couldn't be more glad, "Guys, I'll be back, you can go ahead, don't worry," you explained, seeing their hesitance, his unwavering gaze was back on you, brown eyes were intense. The apprehensive group slowly emptied the room and just went the last person was out, Mattheo muttered something under his breath, and the door slammed shut, locking itself. 

Mattheo cursed that pretty smile of yours before smiling back, "You have a date? For the ball?" you lowered your eyes to the ground at the question, a shy look grazing your features as you shook your head, the more he looked at you, the more positive he got. "Good."  He finally pulled his hands out of his pocket and suddenly there was a bouquet of your favourite flowers in his hand and a velvet box, he wordlessly handed them to you, your eyes were wide, full of amusement, face warm, you noticed how the lights around you got dimmer, the small mock firefly charms that floated in the air, you didn't have a clue on how he was doing all this without his wand but you couldn't bring yourself to think of it, not when you had him standing in front you, in all his glory, about to ask you to the ball, gosh you felt like you were on cloud nine, the guy you were waiting for had actually approached you? You had to be dreaming. 

Then out of nowhere, you hear your favourite song but on strings, you look down at the box curiously- "It's the muggle chocolate you were talking about, the one you said was hard to get your hands on," he shrugged nonchalantly, as if it was no big deal but in reality, he was finding the courage to finally tell you what he was feeling, ask you out. Your brows pinched together, as you noticed that all of it was a muggle, even the flower arrangement- the song, how did he do all of this? You looked up at him with an amused look. "No questions please," he breathed out like he was out of breath, you then smiled at him gratefully, and he quickly averted his eyes, his hand subconsciously reaching over to his chest, "Oh Merlin," he exhaled quietly, not being able to look back at you. 

He then slowly gathered the courage to look back at you, you were just looking at him patiently, the smile still on your face, Mattheo cleared his throat before opening up, "I have never been the one to be graceful but I want to do this properly." he inhaled sharply before continuing, "Ever since that night, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you, I think I've gone mad honestly," He lets out a dry chuckle shaking his head, looking into your eyes, "I think I've taken a liking to you, your voice, your smile-" and then he interrupts himself, forgetting the little speech he prepared as he watches your smile widen at his words, "yeah that, more of that please," and that makes you blush, the genuine interest in his eyes, the way admiration shines in his eyes, you are so close to him, that you can hear his heart thumping loudly, "I'd like to have the honour of taking you to the ball," then he says your name quietly, "would you like be my date?" 

"Yes yes!" you couldn't be more excited, you are quick to throw your arms around him, and all the worries leave his body as soon as he is subjected to your embrace, he closes his eyes, pulling you closer, finding everything comfortable in your grip. His heartstrings thrum at the moment, it was embarrassing how quickly you got him flustered but he didn't seem to mind it. He whispered a small "thank you," before hugging you tighter, you just giggled into his chest and Merlin, did he feel like he had just won the lottery.

...

<<prev work: this love || mattheo riddle

[cruyuu]

Mr. “I don't feel a thing/I am not human” proceeds to show anger which is a human emotion. The contradictions with Sukuna are still persisting with Yuuji since with all others, he never had that issue. He never acted the same with others like he did and does with Yuuji. After all, the way he responds to love (to admiration) is by killing. He doesn't know what to do nor how to feel with Yuuji.

Still, something that is bothering me a lot is that for someone who is clearly very intent (and yes, that means emotionally invested) on killing everyone just because of Yuuji, it's pretty clear that he's obviously feeling and not incapable of feeling. Now, we can also speculate that he's afraid of being shown pure compassion (the kind Yuuji embodies) after years and years of being feared and being admired for his strength, standing on a pedestal away from everyone's hands. It would be obvious considering how he came into the world and what he did to achieve the status he's proudly wearing now. He's been seen as a monster, as the King of Curses, as a curse for a lot of years. Never as a human.

After all, Sukuna is someone who had survived a lot of years alone, persisted through the Golden Age of Jujutsu and is still persisting in the modern era. Untouchable, unreachable. Unseen and unknown.

And maybe he wants it to remain that way?

Yuuji is asking the right question. Why me? Why invest yourself? Why all that hate? Does it have an answer? He can only feel pity because all that anger is seemingly empty of reason. Sukuna gives no answer for why, only claims that he understands what Yuuji is telling him but feels nothing. Yuuji can't understand that even if he wanted to, which is why he separated them from others and trapped them in this domain in the first place. He still wanted to know why, even if Sukuna is someone he loathes and he admits it to his face.

Now, considering that Sukuna had unusually obliged Yuuji's request and went on a walk with him, with no threats nor attacks which is again quite unusual, and yet only lashed at him when he realized that Yuuji was feeling pity for him– we can conclude what gave Yuuji the idea to give chase, to try and reach him (someone who ruined his life and talk with him despite everything because it's true that Sukuna was there when he was the loneliest, dwelling inside of him and keeping him company), and why he's feeling pity, why he's compassonate towards him.

Yuuji thought there was something hiding behind that hate. Something about him, perhaps. So he shows him a lot of his life (something he never did with anyone btw) and even shares some of his past with him, creates memories with him also, and says that to him, this is what humans are all about. He shows him a different view, hoping it'll change his mind, prompt him to talk.

But that fails. After all: You can admire a blooming flower, but you can't ask it to understand you. Both of them are vastly different from each other, and even if they had rubbed off on each other slightly, they still persist on being who they always were without changing themselves for each other. They're unable to understand each other nor the ways they change each other quite subtly. Yuuji had changed a lot, went from being adamant on not killing to reducing himself to nothing but a curse killer (a cog in the machine) only to embrace that his life is worth something in the end and Sukuna had embraced emotions (even if denying it) when it came to Yuuji, started seeing other people's viewpoints and kept indulging Yuuji even if he was pathetic by his standards. He went all that way to crush his ideals and now is going his way to kill everyone Yuuji loves. He cares, your honor, even if he claims he has no reason behind it.

What's funny to me really is that Yuuji went through all that and wanted to have a conversation with him (he claims he was frantic, meaning he really really wanted to talk) before it really was too late.

He said, “I can kill you but... you can also live if you come back to me.” If anything it just proves Yuuji does actually care about him, even if it isn't said out loud. After all, he took him through his hometown, made memories with him and bared parts of himself he never showed to anyone else and is still giving him a chance. He had Sukuna fish, he had him shoot arrows. Had him be a human and not a jujutsu sorcerer. That cannot be hate.

Just how Sukuna's hatred towards Yuuji is unexplainable, Yuuji's pity towards Sukuna is as well. And that's something only the two of them have. Something nobody can understand, not even them.

[oldfriendsseniortwittersanctuary]

Should they be at the club: Mobile Suit Gundam '79

Amuro Ray

There is no character that should "be at the club" less than Amuro Ray. There is no way you could keep him in the club for more than 15 minutes. He's waiting outside the entire time, if he hasn't already called an uber. Do not bother.

Sayla Mass

Absolutely, yes. Let this girl tear up the dance floor. Heaven knows she deserves it.

Bright Noa

I am of the firm belief that the only thing that would fix this guy is a life-changing experience in the bathroom of a seedy club, so yes, for the love of God, take this man to the club.

Fraw Bow

If you take her she's going to get roped into being the designated driver, and that's just not fair to her. She does not want to be here. The club is not her natural habitat. Let her go home and catch up on her netflix backlog.

Kai Shiden

God, you know he'll down two virgin daiquiris, say the wrong thing to someone, and get punched the fuck out. Yes, he should be at the club.

Hayato Kobayashi

He'd be quiet for the most of the evening, until at the very end when he says something deeply unpleasant and out of pocket, just dragging the whole mood down. No, he should not be at the club.

Mirai Yashima

Hell yeah. She'd have a grand ol' time, just living it up. And when she gets drunk she'll be That Drunk Girl In the Bathroom. You know the one. She belongs in the club.

Ryu Jose

He's the one making sure everyone's doing all right, not getting into too much trouble, and making sure the people who are way too drunk get home OK. He must be at the club; this is non-negotiable.

Sleggar Law

He'd be a absolute pain in the ass, however he will also be watching over every girl like a hawk. The second he sees someone slip something in her drink or try to cop a feel, he will throw hands. Him being at the club is an unfortunate necessity.

Char Aznable

Contrary to popular belief, no, do not let this man within 100 feet of the club. His latent Causing Problems instinct would go into overdrive, and there's no telling what Problems he would cause by the end of the night.

Lalah Sune

She would just sit... and watch... until at which point she just walks up to a random stranger and says the most off-putting shit you've ever heard. She should be at the club.

Ramba Ral & Crowley Hamon

Moot question, they're already at the club, scouting for a third. They do this every other Saturday.

M'Quve

*insert the lyrics to How Soon Is Now*

Garma Zabi

I mean, he'd be fun enough to be around, I suppose, but you know by the end of the night he's going to hook up with some blond twink that looks suspiciously similar to a Certain Someone We Know and like... don't let him keep hurting himself like this, man.

Icelina Eschonbach

The only way you're getting her in the club is if she's with Garma, and she will watch him pick up that twink and not even register that anything is amiss. That's just sad. Don't take either one to the club, it would just be too hard to watch.

Degwin Zabi

Uh, the spirit is unwilling and the flesh is ever so weak. Probably a bad idea for him to be at the club.

Gihren Zabi

So he wouldn't, but God could you imagine? Ideally the second he starts ranting about Hitler is the second he gets knocked on his ass, but sadly no one would dare to do it. No, he should not be at the club.

Dozle Zabi

Oh yeah, totally. He'd be louder than the music and would not stop bragging, but those stories would be the wildest fucking stories you'd ever heard. He should be at the club for that alone. Also, he could easily be talked into buying everyone a drink.

Kycilia Zabi

She would scare the hoes and the bros. She should be at the club.

Cucuruz Doan

[Redacted]

Miharu Ratokie

She would somehow end the evening lying face down in a pool of her own blood. No one would know how she ended up this way. It is not much a question of whether she should be at the club as it is an inevitability. We cannot help but to repeat the cycles of tragedy.

[chaikachi]

Rosegarden, Cinderella, and Fairytale Romance

0r Why I Will Eat My Glass Slipper if Oscar and Ruby Don't Dance by the End of the Show

-

Part of Ruby's arc in v9 is realizing that the ideals and dreams she had as a (younger) child are too ambitious and unrealistic. That life, huntresses, herself… they can't be like the fairytales.

It is a very big lesson to learn but, much like all things in RWBY, there is a push for nuance. Weiss and Blake even have called out in show that those storybook morals are too simplistic or black and white. Ruby is overwhelmed and breaking under the weight of her burdens and is being given the opportunity to either keep trudging on until it destroys her, or leave all of it behind.

But what about a secret hidden third option? Can she not leave Ruby Rose behind, not become someone entirely new, but rather… Choose to be the version of Ruby Rose she wants to be on purpose? And not as a result of other people's pressures or expectations that she's internalized for too long?

The point I'm trying to make here is that she can admit that holding herself to the impossible standard of an untouchable hero that always wins in the end isn't sustainable, but still find the intersection of fairytale and reality.

Now how does this tie in to RG? For that, I want to talk about two things:

The other canon romance plots in show

One of Ruby's smaller/more subtle 'allusions'

Of the three other big relationships in the show, each one's confession seems to fall into a very specific 'theme' (I understand I am generalizing/simplifying a bit but bare with me):

Arkos is rooted in tragedy: Pyrrha's death

2. Renora is rooted in reality: A two volume long conflict that ends in them acknowledging their feelings, talking it out, and agreeing to be patient with each other.

3. Bumbleby is rooted in a literal fairytale: A pocket dimension created specifically in the Ever After to push them into smooching (and y'know... confessing)

Rosegarden is currently in the tragedy stage. Constant separation over and over again leading up to Oscar being left in Remnant thinking she's dead and Ruby stuck in the Ever After not knowing how much time is passing back home and if he'll even be there when she gets back.

Reality we've seen for them a lot in how down to earth they are with each other. The constant quiet support. Oscar seeing past the pedestal, past the ideal, straight through to Ruby. Ruby seeing past the merge and seeing him fully as just Oscar.

But how do we tie the fairytale into it when Oscar isn't in Ever After to give them that storybook magic? Well, we go back to the earlier mentioned subtle allusion for Ruby: Cinderella.

NOW I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. "But Chai!! We already have a very clear allusion to that character!!!"

Okay yes, but Ruby is a mirror to Cinder. We've seen it in their arcs as primary antagonists to each other, we've seen it in their costume designs with the parting of their hair and similar colour schemes. Cinder Fall, Ruby Rose (as in to rise). They are two sides of one coin.

Back at the dance in v2, Ruby arrives and is left alone by her friends. She isn't wearing glass slippers, but there is a whole lot of focus on how uncomfortable her shoes are.

She leaves the dance early after not having fun and runs into Cinder. And when the clock strikes midnight and the spell is broken? Cinder is at the dance in her pretty dress with Mercury and Ruby is back in the tower getting one of, if not the first big reality check(s) of the series.

This situation is teased by Oz in the episode prior with his little conversation with Ruby:

Ozpin: Not enjoying yourself? Ruby: Oh, no aha, everything's fine. I'm just not much of a... dance-y pantsy... dance-y girl. Ozpin: Well you can't spend your entire life on the battlefield, even if you may want to. Ruby: Yeah that lesson's been floating around a lot lately. Ozpin: If you think about it, fighting and dancing aren't so different. Two partners interlocked. Heh, although one wrong room on the ballroom merely leads to a swollen foot. Ruby:Or a twisted ankle Ozpin: It's not every day that friends are able to come together like this. Time has a way of testing our bonds. But it's nights like these that can help keep them stronger than ever. Nights like these are ones we'll never forget.

He teases that the dance is special. That Ruby should get to enjoy it because life has a funny way of creeping up quickly on these things. That these moments are rare and should be treasured... and he's proven right almost immediately.

Every other person in the cast got a dance - or something close to it - that night. Blake and Yang. Blake and Sun. Weiss lost her date 'cause Neptune's a goof, but they still got to sit down and talk. Jaune and Pyrrha had a moment on the balcony before he went to grab a dress and they all danced together. Ren and Nora. Penny even danced with one of her guards. Glynda and Ironwood too!!

But our hero didn't get one. All she got was a fight.

And see, this is where I think the 'fairytale' comes in. Ruby's had her reality check. Time and time and time again that fairytale spell has been broken. She is going through a metamorphosis throughout v9 to become a newly actualized version of herself, or at least find the start of the path that brings her there. But when she returns to Remnant what is waiting for her? More war. More fighting. More responsibility as being this symbol of hope and a leader for everyone. But part of her arc is learning to share her burdens with others. And the person that has consistently tried to do that with her without her asking for it, has been Oscar. Oscar, who is currently in Vacuo with who knows how much time passing wrestling with the knowledge that Ruby, the rest of her team, and Jaune are very likely dead. Oscar, who is now bearing the weight of this world saving mission without her there.

All I'm trying to say is that a celebration of sorts with a redemption dance, quite possibly in Vacuo, isn't entirely off the table. In fact I'd argue it's been teased since the very start, especially considering just how often they are posed as if they are asking each other to dance.

Also to go back to something Ozpin said "fighting and dancing aren't so different"... One of Oscar and Ruby's first scenes together, they are sparring in front of a sunset and they can't stop smiling at each other. They're just having so much fun with it.

Also their premiere moments in volumes 6, 7, and 9 are all RG in a fight of some kind. The first two Ruby is saving him from Grimm. The latter Ruby is being attacked by Neo's illusion of him. In volume 8, we don't get that. But we do get these two moments which also count for something (especially because dances and hugs are also quite similar in some ways):

There are going to be very high emotions when RWBYJ return to Remnant and what better way to celebrate that they are still alive than a party (and if not then, then after the war is over... but hopefully not THAT long). Where they can just 'dance and laugh and love… and just live'. Even for just a moment because who knows what the next will bring.

Ruby in v2 wasn't really a dance-y pantsy kind of girl... but post-v9 Ruby? She gets to choose the kind of girl she wants to be. Just the knight? Or maybe the princess too, even just for on day. And I think if anyone is going to offer her a chance to try it out, it's going to be her Little Prince.

-

I love these normal kids with their very normal knees a very normal amount. I love how their respective 'specialness' makes them the perfect match for each other because it means they can be 'normal' together. That is all ty for listening. RG canon okay byeeeeee~

[tangledbea]

This sort of sprang into my mind just now so maybe it isn’t well thought out but what if Cassandra had gone with Edmund and Co. to the dark brotherhood instead of going on a nondescript journey of her own?

Cassandra never really expressed a desire or need to explore, she just wanted to fight and be recognized for her efforts. Somehow even with all the back-bending the show did to give Cass attention in S3 they still managed to give her an unfulfilling ending in my eyes. I think it would’ve been cool if she’d gone with the DK characters to help fix it after she had stolen the Moonstone and put TDB under mind control, especially since we never see her really interact with anyone from the Dark Kingdom past S2.

Cassandra could help fill the hole Quirin (had likely) left behind in manpower and could truly fulfill her dream of being a royal guard, even while outside of Corona. I feel like this would be a cute fic concept and wonder how many people have thought about a concept like this.

It's not a bad idea, but I, for one, am perfectly happy with her ending. Personally, I always felt like she went on a journey of not only finding out who she really is and what she really wants, but where she really belongs. Because Corona ain't it. She was completely unsatisfied with her life there, even at the best of times.

It would be nice if she made amends to the Dark Kingdom by helping them rebuild, but I don't personally feel like she felt like that was her place, either. After all, she's never trusted Adira and only ever faced Hector in unwarranted fights. She barely interacted with Edmund, but somehow subjecting herself to the possibility of him grilling her for information about Eugene and Rapunzel doesn't seem to me like it would be a good time for her. Cassandra is not a people person, and committing herself to hanging out with a group of people she has a shaky relationship at best with doesn't seem like an ideal "finding herself" thing.

I think part of Cassandra's problem is that she's spent her whole life trying to be what others expect her to be. She even told Eugene, "I don't have time for dreams," and even though that was a lie, it was something she believed about herself. So now that she's on her own, after everything she's experienced and done, she gets to learn who she really is, what she really wants. She kept talking about taking her destiny, but one of my complaints is that she never defines what that is. Maybe that's because she herself doesn't know.

We don't even know that she wants to be a guard anymore. That was her grand goal for her life in Corona, but she was very willing to be a warrior in Ingvaar. Cassandra wants recognition for her skills, talents, and knowledge, and she wants to not have to do what other people want her to do anymore. "Take orders," if you will. That doesn't seem like someone who would thrive in a Guard anywhere, unless she was at the top, and she certainly wouldn't be able to walk in, a stranger, at the top. She too opinionated and has seen and done too much to not look at the reason for every mission or order given. Even being a guard seems to stem from wanting to follow in her dad's footsteps and wanting a visible position that had potential for singular recognition for outstanding service. She wanted him to be proud of her and respect her, because he's her parent. And yes, weapons and combat are things that genuinely interest her, but one can be involved in those things without being a guard.

No, I'm perfectly happy with her traveling alone, finding herself, seeing what she likes to do and who she likes to be when she's not beholden to anyone.

[imminent-danger-came]

What do you think of the resolution of the Samadhi Fire arc?

I'll take this to mean the "Embrace Your Destiny" special, which effectively closes what I consider to be the first arc in Lego Monkie Kid!

Between liking it as a finale and liking it as set-up for the next season, I decidedly like it as set-up more (but there is plenty to enjoy about what they answered/resolved). I think the 3x13 flashback gives a lot of depth to LBD (which is then later paralleled to by Azure), and it answers a couple questions along the way, like: why? Why did the Lady Bone Demon do any of this? Why was she in her prison? Why is the Mayor in league with her? And ultimately, what is her destiny?

As far as those questions go, I liked the answers the show gave and how LBD's defeat was ultimately brought about (through standing together and with that unity bringing about hope/the future, something that was contrasted by MK's s2 arc and supported by 3x08 and 3x10, doing it together vs doing it alone).

The final confrontation of ideals is beautiful to me, boiling down to perfection vs imperfection (chaos?👀):

Lady Bone Demon: "You would allow this world to continue to fester and rot? The eternal misery of countless souls because of your sentimentality for mortal pleasures!" MK: "*yells* You can't judge things by they're worst qualities!" Tang: "This world might not be perfect, but it's still worth fighting for!" Pigsy: "Yeah! Sometimes it's that little bit of char that makes for a more flavorful meat! Even if it is a bit tangy." Sandy: "You said it Mo! The world may be full of darkness, but to let the light shine, all we need to do is stand together!"

Like this sentiment of an imperfect world being worth fighting for, and by extension imperfect people being worth fighting for, is one I love. It also ties in nicely with MK and his low self-esteem, (like, thematically, heaven knows he has not applied his "you can't judge things by they're worst qualities" mentality to himself), where you can still love/defend things that aren't perfect or wholly "good". This naturally affixes itself to Wukong, who has lifetimes of mistakes. At this point MK chooses to ignore and repress his perception of Wukong's flaws, but eventually, we're going to go the direction of loving people in all there imperfectness. Yes, even when someone has made terrible mistakes, you can still fight for them and care about them (4x08, 4x13).

Though, let me also talk about Samadhi Fire Mei and possessed Wukong! I love both of these concepts, and I love the way they were executed. "Don't use the flame Mei...Be the flame!" linking to 1x09 "You don't use a weapon....you ARE a weapon!" This idea of "using vs being" intrigues me, and I think it works in tandem with being controlled versus having your freewill. The Lady Bone Demon both used Mei and Wukong for her purposes, and her ruin was for them to be themselves. I think you can also view Azure with this lens—he was so focused on using the Jade Emperor's Power to change the world/revenge, he ignored actually being the Jade Emperor.

Overall, I think Samadhi Fire Mei does a good job of continuing Mei's arc (using power to protect those you care about), and perpetuating the pattern of her following in MK's footsteps. For Wukong, he's a character who always desires the ability to do whatever he wants. So possession is delightfully ironic for Wukong, you know. He keeps running off to keep MK safe, but running off is what also put his protege in danger, from his own hands no less ("Can't you see you're hurting the people who care about you the most?" - "Until I know what I am, what my destiny is? I can't risk hurting the people I care about—the one's I have left.").

And obviously 3x14 has one of my favorite scenes in the whole show, that being the "To pain" scene, which continued to blur the "good guy"-"bad guy" lines that have slowly been obscured over the course of Monkie Kid. I will never shut up about that scene. Doing what you think is right and giving it your best can still lead to disappointing and terrible outcomes.

And of course, they began "A Hero is Born" with a Tang narration about the past, and then ended 3x14 with a Tang narration about the present. I always love a good book-ending.

[akaiuchiha]

So, I couldn't sleep so I decided to went through my notes and there was a period when I translated song I liked (english cover for example) and I translated Reason Living at some point (and English cover).

Guys, I think you have no idea how crazy this opening is to me.

(Beware, spoilers ahead, don't read if you don't want to be spoiled)

The symbolism behind it is just awesome.

Dark Era is really one of my favourite arc. It made me cry and grieve FOR MONTHS before I was even able to listen to the opening without wanting to cry.

And I KNOW how BSD works, it's about the characters but also about saving the world and crazy people trying to change everything with the page.

But if you think about it, BSD is also about people finding themselves. I think we can all agree that some characters for whom we got backstories or even explanations DID find themselves are at least, they are going in the right direction (they clearly are not Zoro). And Atsushi is the main character for a reason because he is still finding who he is and why he is worthy.

And Reason Living? It's just pure hope and angst at the same time it hurts. They PLAYED IT while Odasaku was fighting Gide and I HATED that because the irony of it always made me cry. Playing REASON LIVING when Odasaku LOST his reasons to live??? I know maybe he could have try to keep on living because he wasn't alone but that's not the point and I fully understand Odasaku okay. That man lost his ideals, his ideas of a brigther future because of Mori, how was he supposed to react in other ways than wanting to kill Gide?

But playing this song, about not knowing why you are alive, why you should stay alive but still wanting to find a reason, wanting to find hope?? Yeah that was a horrible experience.

This song describes so much characters. We can obviously state Dazai who's still trying to find himself (I personaly think he is about to have his answer in the manga but it's not the topic here), but it also describes Atsushi who is still learning about his ability and how to deal with it and how to deal with his past. Maybe we can also include Kyouka, even Kunikida because I'm quite sure he is as lost as everyone.

They act but they don't know why, they just know they have to and that maybe they'll find why they have to keep on living.

And I swear this opening hit HARD. I never questioned why I was alive, I just want to be alive because I don't like death at all. It's scary and the end of everything so yes, I never thought about it. But this opening? It takes your feelings and crushes them under the pain, the hope, the despair and everything the characters feel.

BSD is really one of my favourite manga and it really hit me how this manga is about people searching themselves and trying hard to create a brighter future.

Yeah, it might be stupid because Reason Living is probably not the only opening talking about all of that, but it's still my favourite out of all of them. Also, it's clearly stated in the title "Bungou Stray Dogs" how the story is not going to be a walk in a park.

And yet, this story is absolutely amazing and the influence of Dark Era, of Odasaku in this universe is crazy because he's not really a good man (this scene in the novel traumatised me, the one with the vacuum cleaner) and his influence is clearly less important than Natsume's, but we can all agree that it is weird how in every universe, he can't live if Dazai's alive.

Anyway, I really went too far, I just wanted to vent about why Reason Living is a really good opening and how soul crushing it felt to hear it during the fight. Even without speaking and understanding japanese, I felt its meaning deep within my soul.

Thank you for reading!

(I'm really sorry if it's seems a bit..weird to read, it's late where I am from (like, 2 in the morning) and my hands were going ahead of my brain).

[tales-from-nocturnaliss]

One thing about me: I like community. I like to make people feel at home and welcome, moreso if they make me feel the same.

About two years ago, the husband and I started a guild on Mobile Legends: Adventure. Gained little traction in english, so we decided to switch over to french and go recruit in those channels.

Nowadays, we're a thriving community of 50 people with very rarely an open spot. I befriended a few of these people and generally just enjoy watching them having fun (I'm guild leader, fyi).

Yesterday, I was chatting with one of our two Swiss players who asked a lot of questions about my writing. Not gonna lie: it made me feel sooooo good that she asked. I do crave attention (don't we all?). And with my plans to get some stuff ready to self-publish, I figured I'd talk about the first story I intend to release.

I narrowed the theme down to: Vampire guy struggles with trauma and ends up encountering a creature more dangerous than himself that ends up playing with his head.

Her response was, basically: that's different, usually Vampires are shown as supreme beings, so it's cool that this one'd get manipulated.

I had to take a mental double take on that. Because: I'm so used to my world that, for me, this sort of situation is like... normal. Vampires are apex predators to be sure, but there's still more dangerous things than them lurking about, and this guy happens to meet such a being (with reason). It never struck me that this story could be interesting just because it shows Vampires in a different light. I guess I can no longer tell if something is 'cool' or 'different' because, well, my nose has been stuck in Aeyuu for so long that it sometimes even affects my perception of RL normal (for example, blue is warm, red is cold, yes my brain sometimes thinks these colours are inverted irl in terms of temperature).

All this to say that it made me happy to hear her thoughts, happy in a way that goes beyond excitement. It's a wide, calm sort of happiness, mingled with hope, mingled with premature contentment that reading my stories might make other people happy (even if the themes tend to be dark and tragic XD). This is the feeling I've been hanging onto lately, to try and get past the utter anxiety and dread of self-pubbing something and it 1. getting hated 2. getting ignored.

In that line of thought, I've finally reached out to an editor (on PillowFort) and gotten the first reactions to this story yesterday. A lot of it is pertinent. It sure as hell drove my anxiety through the roof since, y'know, there was criticism in there... but I'm also glad to finally be taking yet another step forward. And I'm liking their style, be it a bit too brutal for me in places, but then they do see things that I've either overlooked, ignored, or that need a tad better wording to make the meaning/reason clear.

Additionally: today, I find I have 7 more followers on here. Which... wait, just, wow? How? And I check my notificiations and see: oh yeah, I reached out in a nice, encouraging, honestly-me way to people. Not gonna lie: much as that is my personality, I'm also still autistic, chronically tired, and some days I don't have the spoons to socialize, let alone to like people. But when the energy allows, I enjoy just going to the quiet places and leaving a friendly message. Creating a sense of: you belong with the community, too.

This said, I do have plans to 1. write a real writeblr intro sometime, 2. make feedback asks available. With my potential/likely editor not being a pro but someone like me who is self-taught and picks up instinctively on issues, I feel like this is something I want (and am allowed!) to give out in turn.

Creating community, y'know? And the world I want to see, which is a world where people are nice to each other, help each other out, but also get to have boundaries and see them respected without a 'no' turning into an argument or anything. Utopic to be sure, but what's wrong with having ideals?

[toldbytendo]

"here lie the ashes: releasing the ideal of black love and embracing reality"

In this post, I'm going to be talking about love. I don't know why, because I've got ten thousand other things to be focusing on in my life, but the lover girl in me is dying inside and I need to talk about it.

I know I'm not alone when I say that dating, relationships, talking stages are one of the worst things about navigating romantic relationships in this life, like one of the *worst* things ever, with it's infamous talking stage that seems in essence to be a contest of 'who can act like they don't care the most', or social media's standard of what constitutes the 'bare minimum' that for whatever reason we all need to abide by, I could go on, but the point is, it sucks.

It's insane to me that we have all these ways of connecting socially and digitally and yet genuine connections feel so much harder to come by. We've all become so incapable of having deep, meaningful conversations, romance appears dead, and it's all so very very frustrating. But, that's actually not what I'm here to talk about.

Today, I'm in mourning, *cue drama*, if I had one, I'd be wearing a Morticia Adams coded dress, maybe a veil for some drama and holding a bouquet of dead roses (not black roses - *dead* roses), yes - it's that deep. I'm mourning the loss of an ideal, a notion, a fairytale if you so wish. As is the nature on this blog, this sacred little corner of the internet of mine, this article represents an outpour of clogged, internal suffering, and stifled emotion from not being able to burst into tears in my family home anywhere but silently under my blanket in my tiny room, where no-one can hear me cry (I'm feeling very dramatic right now) and I've decided to share this rather painful revelation with anyone who might be reading, (I applaud anyone for being able to get this far, hats off to you.) I thought about adding a little PSA that this obviously doesn't apply to all Black men but I'm tired of feeling like I need to do that, I think that goes without saying and if you don't think it does then this isn't the place for you.

I am mourning the notion of 'Black love'. Yes, I know, it sounds insane. I'm not even sure I'm saying what I'm trying to say correctly anymore but who cares. I'm mourning Black love. I feel like I've always been taught to hold onto the ideal of Black love - that nineties kind of romance that shows like 'My Wife and Kids' and Martin + Gina' tried to sell us, where people that understood each other in a way that only someone who looks just like you truly can, that sees beauty in your skin because it's the same love they have for their own, that celebrate Blackness in all it's difficult but equally glorious forms with you.

For the longest time, this has been my dream. I've imagined my ideal relationship with a gorgeous dark-skinned man, sharing our culture, raising a beautiful Black daughter who would grow up seeing herself reflected in her parents' love and adoration. But lately, I've found myself wanting to let go of this notion-and it's not because I've decided that Black men are bad people universally, or that they deserve anything bad. It's simply because I cannot find it in myself to hold onto a dream based off nothing. When I was younger, I could dream like that because there was no experience to support it, just a little girl who loved Disney and wanted a man with the same colour skin as her to make her feel like a princess for the rest of her life, but I'm ready to let that go, because the twenty-three year old woman writing this article does have experiences, and she can't keep pretending that they haven't completely altered her desire and hope that Black love will always prevail.

I've been processing this feeling for quite a few days now, potentially even weeks and I've decided that I'm in mourning, I'm grieving, I'm laying this beautiful ideal of what I thought my idea of love should look like, to rest. The reality is that dating Black men has been filled with its own set of trials and tribulations, I've encountered men who aren't emotionally available, who don't value commitment, or who carry their own traumas so close to the surface that they haven't begun to heal and project that in their encounters with women. The experience of dating Black men has been to say, disheartening. I've held onto this ideal so tightly and so close to my heart, that the hurt is magnified. The experiences I've gone through have shattered the perception that I first entered the world of dating with, perhaps that was my first mistake, having any sort of expectation, nonetheless ones that were founded on nineties romantic comedies but how was a little girl with a love for television and romance to know what awaited her on the other side.

Letting go of the dream of Black love feels like letting go of a piece of myself. It's hard to accept the possibility that my ideal relationship may not look like what I imagined. It's hard to think about my future daughter and what lessons she'll learn about love and relationships from me, and how I may not be able to pass onto her the same beautiful notion that I once believed Black love to be. Growing up, movies and television provided such a beautiful comfort in this world with Black love, it was portrayed as this amazing, unbreakable bond, it felt like such a given, after all, as the daughter of a Black man and woman, and niece, granddaughter and cousin of so many others, what reason did I have to believe that Black love could be anything other than...easy, something I could rely on. But now, as I reflect on my experiences, it's difficult to ignore that most of the disrespect, pain and rejection I've endured in this world has come from Black men. It's even harder to hold onto this beautiful ideal when I'm constantly surrounded by so much on social media showing Black men not respecting, protecting or advocating for Black woman in the way I was shown in movies and television when I was younger. Seeing this reality day in and day out chips away at the hope and optimism that I once had for Black love.

Admitting this is painful, writing this is painful, I really do feel like I'm mourning a part of my identity, even now, I can feel a slither of hope, a refusal to accept my own words as I write them, as my mind begins to bring every beautiful Black couple I can name from the internet to the forefront of my mind, an ideal I'd cherished for so long, even manifested in my stories, in pinterest boards, in my social media following. I struggle with feelings of self-worth, questioning whether I'm asking for too much or if my standards are too high. But I know I deserve a love that is respectful, protective, peaceful and unwavering.

The rampant internalised self-hatred within Black communities, especially amongst Black men adds fuel to the fire in my heart. This self-hate stemming from societal perceptions, feels manifested in the experiences myself and other Black women have had with Black men. In my own experience, I've found that this inability to love themselves and their skin colour translates into how I've been treated emotionally. I once knew a Black guy that told me he dates both Black women and White women. He admitted that White women didn't have to be a ten out of then-they could be mid or basic looking, they had that permission. However, if he dated Black women, they had to be perfect, ten out of ten, all the time, looking good, body set good, just everything. This comparison highlights a painful reality: Black women have to work twice as hard to be considered beautiful to some Black men and that's just an insane concept to me that I'm so *so* done being told to accept.

Why is this such a common theme with Black men? It often feels like we're being punished for being Black women. This societal conditioning that places White/Eurocentric beauty on a pedestal seeps deep into our communities, affecting how Black men perceive and value Black women. It's disheartening and exhausting to always feel like we have to be the best of the best to be valued.

Thoughts of my future daughter add another layer to this conflict. How much harder will it be to explain racism, discrimination and prejudice to my her when she may not even have a foundation of Black love in her own home? It's a tough and conflicting thought, one that raises so many questions in my head of how interracial families actually navigate these conversations. I've always wanted my daughter to see and experience the beauty of Black love in the same way that I had growing up, but more than that, I want her to understand her worth and not settle for less than what she deserves, even if it means stepping outside the boundaries of what I once thought was essential.

Maybe letting go is necessary, maybe it's time to broaden my horizons and be open to love in whatever form it comes. it's a tough pill to swallow but perhaps it's the only way to find genuine, fulfilling love in this complicated dating landscape.

This isn’t some article begging Black men to love Black women as they are. This is about us, Black women, living boldly and beautifully, being comfortable with who we are. This isn’t about forcing an agenda or trying to 'bring back' Black love. If anything, it’s the opposite. This is me laying to rest an ideal that I’ve long since held onto but desperately need to let go of.

Black women, myself included, are beautiful and perfect just as we are. Letting go of the notion of Black love is me letting go of the idea of struggle love. I can't continue to exhaust myself for an ideal of love that lacks evidence or support.

I want Black men who love non-Black women to do so wholeheartedly, and for those who already do, to continue doing so. This isn’t about holding onto something that isn’t working. It’s about recognizing our worth, our beauty, and letting go of the struggle. It’s about moving forward, finding genuine love, and being open to whatever form it takes.

Let’s continue to live our truths, embrace our worth, and find love that respects and cherishes us for who we are.

RIP Black love—you will be missed, but I’m moving on. To all my sisters out there, let's keep living our truths, embracing our worth, and finding love that truly respects and cherishes us for who we are.

Date of Death - 25/06/2024

#blackwomen#blacklove#blackgirlmagic#genzdating#blackwomanhood#datingstruggles#relationshipgoals#selfworth#loveandrelationships#blackcommunity#blackexcellence#sisterhood#loveyourself#blackempowerment#interracialdating#selflove#blackvoices#healingjourney#datingingenz#realtalk#blackmen#blackmasculinity#blackbrotherhood#blackidentity#blackmanhood#dating#modernlove#relationshipadvice#datingadvice#singleslife#datinglife#romance#love#relationshipproblems#datingculture

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

july 20, 2021 7:30 a.m. ireland

[grant] but what actually made you leave? what was the motivation?

[aoife] well, you spend your whole life doing one thing and it’s a real swift kick in the bollocks when you’re forced a change in trajectory. one minute, you’re farming land in your family’s name, and the next, you’re meant to marry and tend someone else’s land in someone else’s name.

[grant] that makes sense. it's a total directional change. and you were already independent, so going into a partnership is kind of losing all that you’re used to. it doesn't matter how you find the relationship, you still have to make concessions.

[aoife] see, you’re smart!

[aoife] but my parents didn’t feel any of those were worthy problems. they had plans for me and i ruined them. they had different ideals of what i could do to help them as an adult. i won’t blame them, though. every parent has dreams for their children and we all push them too hard once in a while. find me a parent who hasn't done that.

[aoife] and for my father, well, i suppose he felt like he'd done everything in the world in his power to make a perfect country, and i think he took personal offense to me disagreeing with one part of the way things were.

[aoife] but i sacrificed everything for our family farm. i don't believe i slighted anyone. i did what had to be done. for one, i barely went to school, never finished even primary school, because my work was the priority. i gave up the only chance of an education and more, and i was meant to walk away from the fruits of my labor.

[aoife] i was young and somewhat bullish. in the heat of it all, i felt betrayed by their asking me to marry.

[grant] and they did, too.

[aoife] they did.

[aoife] now me? i was so hurt, i told them i'd first live with the yanks in america before i'd give up my name and my family for some man.

[aoife] but are those two options not the same?

[grant] i guess one is by choice, though.

[grant] but did you, um, leave to make a point?

[aoife] what point?

[grant] like, “this is how desperate and serious i am, please let me stay at home with you."

[aoife] and now you're too smart. but you’re bang on.

[grant] did they ever get it?

[aoife] they died resenting me.

[aoife] never mattered how hard i tried to prove i wanted to do right by them and look after the family, they never understood. there’s that rehearsed betrayal line. my siblings didn’t come up with it alone.

[aoife] i kept my surname. i taught my children, my grandchildren, and now my great-grandchildren to know irish and i'd death glare at you if you dared use the colonizer’s tongue without good reason. i retold all the stories i heard as a girl, brought you home for visits...

[aoife] i did everything for you kids that they taught me and wanted from me, but it never made them happy with me again.

[aoife] listen, my parents were glad you all existed and to their standards, had good times with you here, but yes, they’d still look at me like they were embarrassed of me.

[grant] but they were just casually cool with seámus and róisín being in america?

[aoife] oh, jesus. i don’t know. they knew seámus hated farming, so i suppose they knew his whole life he’d never stay, and róisín...well, talk about egos. she has notions.

[aoife] their leaving was no surprise. mine was.

[grant] something something, you were a good girl and did everything asked of you your whole life, so they thought you’d do it one more time.

[grant] and now a whole bunch of people make fun of you for the things you did do "right" because suddenly, those things weren't "enough" to please them. you disappointed someone once and they let it stain every other part of you.

[grant] do you still wish you hadn't left? do you wish you lived here?

[aoife] i love you so dearly but that is a question only a man could ask.

[aoife] very bold of you. never ask me that again.

[grant] that was stupid. i'm sorry. i didn’t mean it that way but i see your point and agree. we did just have a whole conversation about how making the decision as a woman to leave and break up a family’s standing fucks up everything.

[needys-diary]

Why Doflamingo Donquixote is My Comfort Character:

Beware incoming opinion, not incoming argument. This will pertain to me personally. Plus I'm lowkey venting lol

In reality, Doffy is a well-crafted villain and being in a romantic relationship with his canon character would most likely be toxic because of his puppeteer-tendencies and so forth. In reality, if I were to magically be in the One Piece world I know for a fact that his character would never go for me, but I can dream, right? That's what being a fangirl and fantasizing is all about right?

Ok, so, why would Doflamingo be anyone's comfort character? Many reasons, in fact, he's one of my favorite overall villains. His character and way of handling his business, his kingdom, and being a King, is kind of inspiring to me, even if it is from evil intentions. Doflamingo knows what he wants and he gets what he wants, even if he has to make it happen, to charm or persuade a person or kill for his will to happen. Doflamingo is very organized about how his whole organization worked and he manages it very well. Although he is very controlling and very dominating and perhaps frightening and intimidating in person, there's aspects to his character that you just don't see in men anymore.

In general I mean, I'm not trying to cap all men or anything. It's just I've seen certain marriages and couples in my family and in my life where the wife is willing to support the husband but now is just doing all the work. Like mentally, emotionally, spiritually, even physically, like being the "head of the household" and handling everything because we're so strong and independent, like yes but no. If I have to act like the husband and the wife in any marriage to the point where I'm so stressed and overworked and feel like I'm by myself then what's the point in marrying anymore? Women cant drop down the their gaurd anymore because everything is expensive, and there needs to be 2 acting husbands in order to survive. I get that. But at the same time theres families where the wife feels like shes alone in this, and im not talking about physically or economicslly, like every household is different, its kinda hard to explain...Im single and never been married so I may be wrong or whatever. I admit I don't know what it's like to have a husband, this is just what I've been witnessing.

So what does this have to do with Doflamingo? It's just comforting to think about him when I'm stressed or feel alone. Like, Doflamingo being a King, I imagine him taking care of everything and just imagining this big enormous dominating character taking whatever is bothering me or stressimg me out and making it go away to make me relaxed or happy is comforting for me. It's something he would do for his Doflamingo Family, for example. Imagining Doflamingo taking care of me is a huge stretch because he is very prideful, I mean I'm happy to take care of him. I'd be happy to support and take care of a man who knows how to manage his life, his business, and is a (more or less) good authority over me. Because I don't care how strong and independent of a woman I am, I ideally need a man to be able to take the weight off of me and say "Good job, I'll handle the rest.", "Don't worry your pretty little head about this." Like, I hope this makes sense.

Im sorry to say that I'm not equipped for the same stress that men go through, that people go through in general. Like, I'd breakdown and neglect myself because I just don't know how to handle anything anymore. Sometimes I just wanna quit and be at home, like being a housewife, cleaning, cooking, parenting, etc. is a big job on its own. And now I have a whole job on top of that because the USA is depriving our energy, focus, money, and mentality? Just being single and living is hard for some people. If marriage changes nothing then there's no point, youre roommates at this point. I just feel like the meaning of marriage is slowly losing its purpose and emotional and spiritual meaning.

It's very comforting to know that, not just Doflamingo, but any fictional villian who "loves you" would burn kingdoms for you, kill people for you, do anything to make you smile. All you have to do is give them your attention and love, just sit on their lap or shoulder and look pretty. They're handle all the deep down and dirty work.

I'm not saying I'm looking for a Doflamingo in my life, romantically, but sometimes life is just so difficult that I feel like I need one, yuno? Can doffy use his strings to manipulate the bad things in my life? Make my problems go away? Lol, so, yea. When you're stuck in a hole, u go for the extreme to make yourself feel better. That's just, how I cope sometimes.

So maybe it's a little OOC, but this is just my experience. You don't have to agree with me. I may be wrong. Either way it's comforting for me and Idk lol.

(Wrote this last night and never posted it cuz I knocked out)

[ultfreakme]

Do you agree if said that Megumi and Tsumiki are "toxic doom siblings" (like wei wuxian, jiang yanli and jiang cheng from MDZS)?

Also, I'm surprised your fav MXTX is SVSSS (I thought it will be MDZS). I always think that most people love to dismiss SVSSS and said that it's not as serious or deep as MDZS & TGCF (but I still love SVSSS the most). So happy when I find other people who also love SVSSS.....

For me

Best MXTX protagonist : Wei Wuxian

Best MXTX male lead : Luo Binghe

Best MXTX couple : Hua Cheng/ Xie Lian

Overall story and best comfort read : SVSSS

How about you, Riki? (Sorry if I'm wrong in calling you, I did not mean to be rude, it's just in the end if every 'ask' you wrote : Riki ask)

Also sorry for this long ask....

Hi Anon! I'm answering this in reverse order a bit hehe. I go by Riki it's not rude at all dw dw! No need to apologize for asks, long or short, I'm grateful someone wants to interact with me and talk about shared interests <3

Megumi and Tsumiki being toxic siblings...hmm....idk if toxic is the word I'd use to describe them but there definitely were a lot of issues. Primarily because I think their ideals on life clashed. Tsumiki is someone who wanted to be nice to everyone, but Megumi can't afford that, he's a lot more practical about what kindness and helping people means because of his reality as a sorcerer. Megumi's convinced that she's faking her kindness or is trying too hard.

I don't think Tsumiki is totally faking it, I think she is a genuinely nice person but like every teenager, likes messing around and isn't perfect. Potentially, she's trying to live up to what she preaches and is having a hard time.

I think a lot of the conflict is teenage angst and him being a little brother. She's the only constant in his life, he may have took that a little for granted and when she got cursed it brought into sharp relief the differences in their reality of being a sorcerer and non-sorcerer. No he's the one who has to protect her and he's been left alone. It's easier to probably harbor resentment for her doing something as 'stupid' as getting cursed than confront that their relationship wasn't on the best terms when she fell into a coma and there's no way for him to fix it anymore.

It had a lot of potential to have gotten better if Tsumiki remained, or if she came back any time that wasn't the Culling Games and they got to grow up together. But alas....It's less toxic and more "bad timing".

Also SVSSS fav???? They're so rare to find right? Omg yes!!!

I've only read SVSSS and MDZS, I haven't gotten around to TGCF but my irl friend and everyone online says it's the best one. I'm just intimidated by how long it is. I might get around to to it someday but who knows.

SVSSS is definitely less deeper than the other two but it's got its own charms. I know in terms of everything it's lesser but idk, the potential and the meta story is really intriguing. The extra chapters changed my entire perspective on so many characters (Shen Jiu my guy you had so much potential I am sorry).

Also hmmmm I haven't really thought about them in terms of like, best protagonist, best couple, best male lead.....If I really had to rank then:

Best Protagonist: Wei Wuxian, novel version especially. He's a lot more flawed and genuinely devious in a lot of place in there. I love his arrogance and his confidence.

Best Male Lead: Luo Binghe. Pathetic man, horribly evil. I love you king.

Best Couple: Mobei-jun/Shang Qinghua tied with Yue Qingyuan/Shen Jiu

I like side couples and rarepairs that have no content I hate my life why do I do this to myself? MoShang;s dynamic when it focuses on SQH being MBJ's creator and in many ways, equally powerful or more powerful than him is fun. YQY and SJ are so tragic like, love toxic doomed yaoi.

[violettduchess]

Hello! Well I'm here just because I wanted to share my unpopular (i think?) opinion on Gilbert's route, or better, character. I think I'm one of the few people who actually liked his canon personality, and yes, i acknowledge the fact that he has many red flags, he's abusive and a bit a lot like a yandere... But it's because of these same reasons that i like him. Surprisingly, all my fav characters have at least one red flag, yes abusive relationships are my guilty pleasure. So you could say that i was pleasantly surprised when Gilbert did what he did....if you know you know. Of course i know that people like him are toxic and dangerous and should be kept away in real life, but since this is fiction I don't care about that.

What i find interesting though is the fact that most people had too high standards for him?? I guess?? I mean, he is the main villain of this story, and i kinda knew from the beginning that he would be the worst among the suitors, i was sure about that. So it's interesting how much people idealized him? Idk, it's just strange for me.

I know that most people don't have my tastes, fortunately, and that probably they found Gilbert's actions if not disturbing, at least cringe or whatever. I personally didn't find any of it disturbing or repulsive etc, i was actually ready for more toxicity but he came out better than I thought he would ahah. Anyway, that's all, just so you know I'm not here to fight, i just wanted to share my opinion because i thought it would be nice to see the perspective of someone who actually liked his canon personality. Sorry for my English, it's not my mother tongue, and have a nice day!

I appreciate you taking the time to speak your mind and offer an alternative to those readers who have trouble with elements of his route.

There are clearly plenty of Gilbert fans who agree with you, who have no issue with his possessiveness, his way of treating Emma, his manipulation. And that's ok! I wouldn't begrudge anyone their right to enjoy something I don't.

I am still struggling, personally, with facets of his personality and behavior that go far beyond things I imagined or have written about. But that's my issue to deal with and I've only openly talked about it because I saw others going "Wait a second..... what?" and wanted them to know that they weren't alone in their uncertainty.

[chertila3000]

I don’t know if other artists will understand me, but sometimes I am overwhelmed by a great desire to delete and redo everything, but my desire for ideality is overcome by reason and pity for the work done. Well, at one of these moments I drew a comic about how this roughly happens in my head.

Picture No. 1: Creativity: “Let me go!!! I have to fix everything! Let’s delete everything and start from scratch! I promise, this is the last time” Mind: “Yes? But I’m hearing this for the first time. We’ve been waiting for this for six months, the readers are already tired of waiting, and we’ve almost finished the chapter. You'll drive us to the grave like this” Creativity: “Who needs us?!” Mind: "Stupid! Re-read the reviews and you will see how many people are waiting for this" Creativity: “But it will be better this way” Mind: “You’ll waste a lot of time on this, but once you start, you’ll immediately give up.” Creativity: "But...but"

Picture#2: Creativity: "What are you doing?" Mind: “I decided to whine from us on the Internet so that you would calm down” Creativity: “It doesn’t work for me” Mind: “It works, I’ve been living in the same body with you for a bunch of years now.” Creativity: "No!!! My determination is indestructible, I will see everything through to the end" Mind: “Yeah, let’s talk about this again until two in the morning, but now excuse me. We need to finish the chapter.”

Picture#3: Mind: "Better?" Creativity: "Yes" Mind: “I hope this doesn’t happen again.” Creativity: "I don't know..." Mind: "*Sigh* Maybe you can separate fanfiction and drawings, and not have the chapter depend on the cover" Creativity: “But...But I really want to show them this” Mind: "Let's finish the job first" Creativity: “What about the group? It has a bad design” Mind: "Leave her alone! We are not a franchise with a business, but a little girl who is a fan of the old fandom" Creativity: “But we’re already 18” Mind: “People are like children even at 30”

Picture#4: Artist: "I need a psychologist" *Music for nervous disorders*