#like i said it doesnt matter now
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The way that u really have to choose clarity that hurts over hope that confuses it sucks
He rlly just wanted to scrub his life clean of me and move on after 2wks like if that isn't a very clear indication he wasn't the one for me idk what is. Idk what is. He wanted to be soooo mad at me for Leaving but then turned around and deleted anything that involved me and found someone new to obsessed over in 2 weeks. Like I'm better now and I'm coping and I'm moving on too but once in a while I think abt it and I do cry. Because I really thought he was the one. I wanted it to be him so bad I gave up SO much I sacrificed SO much and he wouldn't move a foot outside his comfort zone for me. It just hurts. And then for him to move on so quickly because he's just so vindictive. And I know very well that could have all been a lie to aggravate me and make me feel like shit but I'd rather believe he really did move on. I'd rather believe that than believe he'd lie to upset me, that's so much worse.
#there was a lot. there was a loootttttttttttttttttt#so so much.#it hurts my head to think abt and i began to accept that like. it's not worth thinking abt.#i cant solve it. it's done and over and none of what i think abt matters.#there's no point in thinking it's time to feel and keep moving.#that's where the tears come from. another wave of grief another wave of 'god i really wanted it i did SO MUCH to try and make it be true'#grief of it all being in vain. grief of not recieving the same#grief of the person i wanted and thought he was#grief of seeing everything i tried to ignore and excuse#grief of losing good standing w him. that's what it really truly is at the end of the day.#he probably fucking hates my guts and wants me dead and i hate that. after all i did and tried to end it amicably but like#i always knew it would never ever be amicable unless i lied and sugarcoated and pretended#and if he does or doesnt hate me i dont even want to know.#im sure he does and it kills me. but if he doesnt i dont rlly care i dont wanna know#like i said it doesnt matter now
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Long distance besties. This definitely happened after the third movie (source: trust me bro)
Based on this
#anyways time to yap in the tags 😋☝️#but first ummmm lemme just tag some shit#how to train your dragon#httyd#httyd hiccup#hiccup haddock#hiccup horrendous haddock iii#toothless#httyd toothless#ok i think that its done#anyways this definitely happaned after the dragons left like just trust me bro 🙏🙏🙏🙏#omfg i wanted to make this with hijack as well cause lol. do you get it. they're long distance LOLOLOL#maybe i will make it who knows. is it weird to make the same art trend with different characters??#OH WAIT FORGOT ANOTHER TAG#hicctooth#is this the duo name for them#or is it called#hictooth#doesnt matter. what matters is that theyre literally the definition of platonic soulmates bro#like wtf i love them#sorry for making them look miserable i didnt meant for them to look lile that 😭😭😭😭#omg with that being said#BROOOOOO I AM NOT GONNA DRAW DRAGONS ANYMORE IM DONEEEEE HOW DO YOU DRAW DRAGONS 😭😭😭😭😭🙏🙏#anyways first attempt do you like it. SAY YES RIGHT NOW#if you read this much till the end you need to kiss me rn muah muah muah#also say i did a good job at making them look like cookies like#say it rn#okie bye byeeeeee#I FORGOT TO ADD HIS BRAID IM GONNA KMSSSSSS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#omg i failed
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Maybe i SHOULD draft out my ‘Clark is a SuperPlant’ propaganda post
#chattin#due to. recent tags that resonated w me#im already someone that loathes the ‘theyre completely alien AND they conveniently look AND function exactly the same as a human’ trope#esp when they have the nerve to make them PROCREATE w humans wo any defects whatsoever#ur lying ur unimaginative u suck !!!!#so my compromise is always like#fine. the point is that they have to blend in very well. i will concede on that front#but god as my witness i will make him so fucked up internally.#u should xray him and see a fucking mess of organs pumping in bizarre places#things that let him see things w a microscopic lens#things that let him exist in a vacuum bc he doesnt need to Breathe#u should get him in a red sun room and realize hes still able to exist unharmed in a vacumm and go hey man. what the fuck .#going to reach max tags bc i never seem to behave myself no matter what im yelling about#i need bruce to sit down and finally read whatever kryptonian text is floating around#and realize clark- despite his mammalian appearance- is far more linked to plants than anything else#a plant w TEETH and EYES and somehow became a predator instead of staying as a plant#HOWWW did u evolve into what u are now? what did ur ancestors look like??? a daisy???#if u look at any kryptonian species youd see that all of them behave like clark- like they all evolved in a similar way#saw a post (i GOTTA find it again) that said that clark is brownskinned which seems a little silly when u compare it to human melanin#but that sunlight makes for a healthy kryptonian and their skin will show it#and paleskinned kryptonians are seeking out more sun and starving for it. like. ouuuu.#i wont add that to my own hcs but its that kinda shit i love sooo much#get so caught up on trying to make him human in ur eyes that u end up misunderstanding him entirely#love him#xenobio#for tagging
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"Tell your baby that I'm your baby" but it's Severus watching as Sirius laughs and jokes with Minerva and Albus and he's calling her "Minnie" and she swats at him with a laugh and says it seems Azkaban didn't kill that cheeky streak of his now did it "ye wee sugar-tongued menace" but when Severus says anything even slightly disrespectful like that she scolds him and tells him to remember who his elders are, and Sirius is there and he's making her laugh, Sirius is there calling her "Aunt Minerva" after that and she's calling him her "lad" but that's what Severus gets to call her, Severus is supposed to be Minerva's "lad", but it only took a few moments for him to have what Severus has taken 13 years to catch even a tiny little piece of, Minerva's taken it away to give to Sirius at once, and there's Albus just smiling and his eyes are twinkling like stars like they've never twinkled at Severus, he can't remember if Albus ever looked at him like that, and it only took a short while for Sirius to once again have the favour, the love, that Severus has spent over a decade trying to earn even a fraction of, he's their golden boy again, he gets to sit with them and laugh with them and call them his mates, he's their boy, even though Severus has done everything he can, yet no, it's Sirius who they love effortless, it's Sirius who didn't need to do a thing to earn it, it's Sirius who has now taken his place, Sirius is their "snarky lad" now, he's come in and taken it all.
And neither of the two seem to care that Severus is the one who's supposed to be theirs.
#severus snape#pro snape#albus dumbledore#minerva mcgonagall#sirius black#i just have a lot of thoughts of the whole order dynamic#how severus and sirius are essentially like two sons- one loved and one not#and how there would be that element of favouritism carrying on from childhood#sirius was one of Minerva's favourites after all. and one of albus's#and severus was just unimportant to either at the time#and over the last 13 years he's become one of them#but he's never gonna be like sirius is he? they're never gonna love him the way love him#and he acts like it doesnt matter#even though it really really does#“don't kill me!” he'd said to albus that night he came for help. now he wished albus had done just that
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Im doing doodle requests again for the next few hours!! :3
RB with your favorite character and ill do a little doodle of them being happy/silly ✨ Id love to hear a bit about them too if you would like to share! (Again nothing inappropriate please 🥺)
If you cant think of anything but want something I can draw you a little cat just lemme know!
Also if you'd rather stay anon you're welcome to send a request as an ask!
To start off here's a little twilight sparkle because I just think shes neat :3
Update: I'm finishing up for the night!! Thank you for another fun night :3
#Again ill be checking this post periodically and ill update this post when im about to wrap up 💖#We will draw softly but swiftly 😎✨#my mutual friends I encourage you to make a lil request! LET ME DRAW FOR YOU RAAAAAAAA#(cinna this is mostly directed at you ily 💖)#that being said everyone is welcome to this! doesnt matter if you follow me or not hehe 💖#my new keychain designs came in today so im extra excited#i will yap about them if given the opportunity i really like how they turned out awkdsm#ok im going to hit post now lol
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Lmao so I finally done drawing a lineup of P3 cast in my Highschool AU. Call them wokesona or something ahskskskskasosk
#i really need to figure out an actual name for this AU i cant keep calling it wokesona to myself privately forever 🥲#anyway Aki's costume is like the least y2k here cuz I cant recall anyone wearing jumpsuit as fashion at that time#but shhh mom said i can be cringe online today so like I was thinking that Aki doesnt really have a lot of new clothes in his wardrobe#most of the time he thrifted it or its a hands down from his foster parents or something#but it doesnt really matter his fangirls doesnt care that he is out of date when it comes to fashion#all they know is that boy is hot and they're the reason why Aki has terrible sinus because they wont get his name outta their mouth#anyway again this isnt their permanent clothes hhh its more like a guide for me for everyone's style#i was envisioning that if this is an actual cartoon that nick somehow decides to greenlight#it would be something like 'as told by ginger' where everyone changes clothes in every episode#anyway now that I get this outta my way I can finally go through my request hsjsjaka bUT FIRST //passes out and sleeps for 1 millennia#asukart#persona 3#persona 3 reload#persona 3 portable#yukari takeba#mitsuru kirijo#fuuka yamagishi#aigis#aigis persona 3#kotone shiomi#minako arisato#persona 3 femc#shinjiro aragaki#akihiko sanada#makoto yuki#persona 3 mc#junpei iori#00s highschool au
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my god my god why have you forsaken me
wasn't I good to you?
#shizaya au#shizaya#heiwajima shizuo#orihara izaya#drrr#durarara#fallen angel izaya#priest shizuo#shizuo is having moral dilemma#hes having a hard time with his faith too#if god so good why evil exist hm?#MIREN LES JURO Q TENGO LA TRAMA Y CARACTERIZACION MASOMENOS HECHA PERK NO SE INGLES#also sorry if u see me posting so much i dropped out#btw the wings are definitely wrong like the anatomy#but it doesnt matter izayas gonna lose them anyway#bc hes a fallen angel so he doesnt need them anymore#god really said ha fuck u *rips out your flying ability from you even tho it's all you've known and now you are stuck with these legs*#imagine izaya like those newborns animals that dont know how to walk yet so they keep falling#shizaya fallen angel au#in memory of god
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i wanted to see what a piece would look like if i finished it in my three main mediums, pencil, ink, and watercolor (+colored pencils) >:*)
#my art#naruto#yamato#yamato tenzo#tenzō#kakashi#kakayama#image desc in alt text#okay now to talk shop. SO. i did these in the order theyre presented#which means that the pencil was done first#and by the time i got to the watercolor id drawn this same picture quite a few times#so if the quality seems to improve thats more than likely a matter of repetition and the benefit of past foresight or whatever#like yamatos shin is too small in the first picture.#and i noticeably lengthened it in following pictures. i also shortened kakashis thigh a little bit#yamatos torso looks really long but thats partially because he's slid back a little bit—his flack jacket is up high and you can see#it gapping at his shoulder#but ultimately that doesnt make the anatomical weirdness completely forgiveable so if i drew this again id do it differently probably#THAT SAID IM STILL SOOOO HAPPY WITH HOW THESE TURNED OUT#drawing the same picture over and over and over again? kind of great actually. i recommend it.#if you want to try doing this and you dont have a lightbox (u dont rlly need one) just like. take one drawing you like#and a blank sheet of paper#and tape it to a window thats getting a LOT of light#and then trace ur old drawing's bare bones (the forms. u know)#and then once you have that down. draw on top of it. or use new materials#it allows you to preserve ur previous drawing also which is great#once i was doing a commission and i realized i got the room i was drawing the characters in backwards#so i just. turned the paper around. put it against the morning window. and traced the now-mirrored image onto a new sheet of paper.#saved SO MUCH TIME LMFAO#the paper on the last picture is different and more yellow in tone so thats why the color is weird there ajxjskhfjahx#anyway happy testostone tuesday to all who celebrate 💚 love you
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i adopted this guy from a cardboard box on the side of the road
^^^^ he says this then instantly eats shit
#sunglasses guy -> sunny#nate was said by madi hjakfhkfs#ppl call him sunny night 2 annoy him bc he SUCKS#my failboy my cringefail boy#sunglasses guy#parkour civilization#sunny nate#evbo#im not drawing iron boots rn noooooooooooooooo#get leather instead#puppee art#NOBODY SAID THAT THOSE WERE PANTS#THEY COULD B A SKIRT WHICH IS Y HE SUCKS ASS @ PARKOUR#IM JUST SAYING HEY LISTEN 2 ME LKISTEN#y did i get attached 2 like the 1 guy who does not matter#i gave him long hair bc fuck u minecraft doesnt decide hair length I DO#parkciv#i rlly do just yap in my tags huh#im so srry 4 this cause tbh i think im the only person in the world who sees him like this#bc @ 1st i was liek damn im going 2 make him emo hehehehe#then i got bored bc he just wears a stupid hoodie so i drew more shit & then it progressed#then i gave him long hair bc cOUGH reasons#now im here & he looks nothing like his minecraft skin & thats fine i find it funny LMAO#my neck hurts#kinda#its more my shoudler cause im drawing @ a weird ablge
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darkraiiiiii
#art#i was brewing up a complicated picture in my head too many factors intermingling and i put a requirement on myself that i would need to#feel a certain mood to create said picture cuz only then would it feel good and true but it was an impossible to achieve mood#and it made me miserable for a week i went to bed as soon as possible everyday to skip to the next one but today i woke up at 2am#and thought well maybe i should just draw something simple that i like it doesnt have to be high concept#so its just darkrai!!!! cuz its such a cooly! and its made out of shapes ive enjoyed drawing recently#smoking fire plumelike stuff u kno...#and i got to try out the spraypaint thing again cuz there was stuff i realized i coulda done better after the red 3 head hybrid pic#so i wanted to do it again. do u like these- with the spraypaint rendering? i will make more of them no matter what u say#but im about to go to bed now. i started the pic at 11am and finished at 8pm so 9hrs spent?! well the stenciling takes a long while in pain#i did the spraying in ms paint again and then composited it in paint net like usually.#also im typing much because the combination of coffee (which i try to make special and rare for me so it hits more cutely)#+ the euphoria that drawing gives me makes me talkative. but now.- ! im tired !! goodnight#pokemon#darkrai
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hey guys remember like a few days ago when a good chunk of this fandom thought ed and stede weren't going to reunite until like the very end of the season, or at least that they were going to spend a big chunk of the season separated? and then the full trailer dropped and suddenly we got all this footage of them in the same frame interacting and everyone realized how unlikely those predictions are??? and how literally just a tiny bit more detail changed everyone's perspective on things?????
anyway yeah maybe we need to all think abt that for a minute and like. rethink the way we're treating certain theoretical s2 plot points as if they're a given.
#ofmd#our flag means death#ofmd s2#ofmd season 2#ofmd s2 spoilers#if u squint idk#txt#mine#og#this applies to a lot of things i've seen ppl in the fandom saying#but right now specifically it's abt the stupid canyon kool-aid comment#like for one thing. have some fucking faith that the writers will do a good job with izzy no matter what his arc is#(this is me saying i have no problem with an izzy redemption arc in case that isnt clear)#and secondly: y'all. we literally do not know the context of anything in the trailer.#we are all just spitballing our predictions right now#like i've seen a LOT of izzy fans taking victory laps abt izzy getting redeemed in s2#and like i said idc if he gets redeemed i'll eat up literally anything the writers want to give me#but for the sake of izzy fans i almost hope theyre right#bc there is a nonzero chance his “belonging” line is taken out of context and doesnt mean what we think it means#like. we don't know. we literally just don't know.#i'm gonna enjoy whatever happens but like i seriously hope nobody's gonna be heartbroken if izzy just gets worse
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no matter what happens, no matter how much it hurts, you don't stop dancing, and you don't stop smiling, and you give those people what they want.
#I DONT POST NINJAGO HERE ANYMORE FOLLOW @LEGOGENDER#ninjago#cole brookstone#cole ninjago#be nice im still learning to paint LOL#if even one perspn can understnad this ill be amazed#sorry today we are going for the cole art drenched in personal interpretation#um. well first off hes trans. and i will say i think his entire s1 arc w his father feels very trans. if you dont understnad dont worry#but uhhh. i think a lot about how cole canonically still struggles with living up to expectations#despite making up with lou. and tbh honestly in my mind that didnt even happen#ive said before maybe but i Personally think the stronger arc for cole would have been having to make the choice to stay a ninja despite#his fathers disapproval. that maybe even tho lou disowns him it doesnt matter. bc the ninja r his real family now#bc honestly lou is so absent in the series it might as well ahve never happened LOL#but yeah in s11 is the obvious one. w the travellers tea#and again in s13 not being able to do the burst#feels a Lot like how he reacted in the royal blacksmith ep#i think lous expectations of cole and harsh treatment definitely cld have been the source of his issues.#and especially considering he says he had to do all the chores after his mothers death... makes his anxiety around being leader#(in early seasons)#a lot more sad. i think this was in books confirmed#um. yeah. i think abt cole. hes rlly interesting hope u understand now kinda#so yeah. and i used the bojack quote cus i think its similar in that cole was only young when lou installed these fears in him#'a song you taught me when i was small' and all that#altho i think the gina version fits jay also LOL#artsbotz
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Everyone arguing about Stannis, JonCon, Jaime, god forbid Jorah being the 1000th commander of the NW….when it will be Jon again 🌚
#btw this is not stannerism like i do have legitimate reasons why i think it will be jon at the end#i think an interesting part of jon’s politiking as LC is him realizing how deep the rot is in the watch#he spends an entire book - agot - realizing that he institution he spent his childhood idolizing is not so glorious#he spends the next book directly confronting the issues that come with being a good man ( helping gilly#and being a true man to the watch and starting to notice the cracks in the system#and then asos is like the turning point you know?#adwd is him trying to fix the watch from within but failing imo because as i said the rot is far deeper#it doesnt matter how many people you replace the watch needs an overhaul - a complete uprooting to the core#which is why i dont like theories of him being a passive bystander as the watch crumbles#its just too narratively juicy if he takes a part in the destruction of the watch coz yknow some things need to be cleansed w/ fire n blood#a nice lil parallel to dany and what shell be doing in the east throughout winds#i like him as the 1000th lc because its a nice round number and thats a bit silly but its also signifying a renewal#Its a blank slate which is essential to jon because he does have a vision for the watch and the wildings!#and he can start from the ground up - and like one of the most underrated themes in jon’s arc is nation building#ive said before that i think the show kinda got it right….like we’ll see a weird mesh of lc of the nw and kbtw as jon’s endgame#I wont get into that now….but i know a lot of jon stans dont want him back at the wall because it seems needlessly cyclical and i get it#and i get that the watch isnt the most glorious place to be…but i really do think its meant to be a vehicle to explore themes of rebirth#and renewal which appear in jon’s arc -think of jon’s messianic framing and the watch being his “new earth” after all is said and done#not so much a place of punishment but a place to find new meaning and exist beyond many societal frameworks#for the cripples bastards and broken things….anywayyyyy lmaoo#asoiaf#jon snow
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(clasps my hands) Hi everyone, i'm doing a quick interest check !
Please only respond if you would consider becoming a patron of mine! I want to see what site people would prefer the most and where my audience is. :-]
As for rewards, I have many ideas! From regular WIPS of all my work (school, commissions, boothing, etc), to Livestreams (If my internet allows it), to timelapses, etc! Also commission discounts :-)
#I'm kind of having a lot of financial anxiety right now but also have many goals in my life#So I'm deciding to really buckle my seatbe;t and ask the questions now#ourgh maybe i should have timed this for the americans. please pass this around if you know someone who likes our art I guess u_u#also!! If you have anything you want to see from us please leave a suggestion! I have ideas but maybe you have better ones#After this poll I might host a different poll on who would possibly become a patron ..#or possibly use the answers from this as my interest check on who would subscribe t all ^^"?#also i did the math. patreon and ko-fi would genuinely pay me the same thing. ko-fi doesnt take a cut but paypal's fees are GIGANTIC on kof#to the point where it doesnt matter ?? did you guys know that geez#patreon does take a cut but paypal's fees with patreon are less so >_>#thats why this interest check matters! I want to know who of you prefers what platform to see creators on :-)#mod stuff#EDIT ON THE MATH: everything i said is not TRUE.. Patreon would be a total of 10.9% and Ko-fi is a total of 7.9%! around those no's!#I did the math after talking to a friend who uses kofi for tiers and i did not know some information beforehand lol#polls
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man the thing about beauty standards and being ugly and being pretty and being insecure is that ultimately you do just kinda have to Decide that youre pretty. like ultimately thats how you become pretty, or hot, or sexy. you have to just Decide that you Are. you have to recognize that its made up, its arbitrary, its subjective, and that people might disagree with you about it, and as much as you are able, you need to completely and utterly disregard their opinions on your appearance, and decide that youre pretty now. and THEN.
you need to find beauty in "ugly". you need to recognize that ugly is made up, that its arbitrary, that its subjective, and you need to be able to find the beauty in it all. and this means you cant bodyshame people. you cant body shame shitty celebs or politicians. you need to base your criticisms on the substance of their character and misdeeds and unhinged horrific opinions and not give a shit about what they look like. you cant go calling people ugly for being shitty. you cant go calling people ugly for looking A Way You Dont Like.
and then if you wanna really galaxy brain this shit you start using ugly as endearment. OBVIOUSLY do not fucking call other human beings ugly. that shit is far too loaded, its just Rude. Dont call specific features of people or even characters ugly cos thats also too loaded. as a term it has baggage. but you can see the ugly in tacky, loud, garish clothing, and it can be Good. you can see the ugly in a distinctive, horrible tiny car from the 90s, and it can be good. you can see the ugly in animals that have evolved to look the way they do, without a single thought of what humans find appealing. you can see the beauty and the freedom in "Ugliness". you can break out of this shit altogether and feel nothing but disdain for anyone who stoops to insulting your appearance if they disagree with you about shit. you can get completely out of the cave of these beauty standards. you can find it so freeing to revel.in letting yourself be ugly. in recognizing that the way you look and exist might be ugly to some people, and youre out of the cave enough to simply recognize. thats just your opinion and it doesnt matter. didnt ask.
you can look at ppl arguing about the correct amount of skincare products to use daily, the Correct Amount of makeup, and whether or not its radical to conform to beauty standards or defy them and argue about is it really conforming if visible makeup pisses men off, and you can say, well I dont care about any of that, I recognize the societal pressures of flawless skin and all that but you see,
I just want to look like a silly little clown :o3
#toy txt post#i wasnt gonna end this on that silly note. but then i had to#ugly#pretty#beauty standards#not saying its easy. not saying you have to do this#but like if youre tired of feeling insecure about your face your fashion. you gotta just figure out what you like and lean in#and you gotra recognize this shit is made up and subjective and arbitrary and you shouldnt be doing it for anyone else ever#i used to be insecure about a few features of mine that i feared made me Ugly. and then i Decided to try to find it pretty.#it sounds so stupid and made up but like literally i just. Decided. im pretty now. this is pretty. this shit is made up. why am i listening#to you. you dont know shit. im pretty now. AND THEN i decided. actually. im ugly on purpose now but not in a way that has much to do with#my actual appearance so much as my complete disregard for your opinion on my appearance. you gotta do it for you. you gotta dress for#yourself#ANYWAY#before anyone comes in with how beauty standards are often externally enforced via peer and social pressure:#yea bud im a human being on planet earth. im aware. thats why i said: as much as you are able. i recognize i have a number of privileges in#this regard that not everyone does. the way im given more space and freedom to dress like a little freak as a thin white person etc#but like i still had and have societal pressure to shave my legs and underarms to conform. theres societal and peer pressure to wear makeup#and i just. dont. the legs thing is less noticeable tho ill admit cos i also Hate Shorts but thats a whole complicated can of worms#which also involves i am not exposing myself to ticks like that are u insane#anyway. yea. the other magical thing about this philosophy of mine is that you also just dont have to. like you can just Ignore Me.#you can keep doing what youre doing and thats fine too#but genuinely if you struggle with insecurity about appearance you gotta just. this is the fake it til u make it shit#i decided im pretty now and it got easier to take selfies bc i was pretty then#doing art and exploring different faces for ocs and making them look different from the conventional beauty standards. also helped#and like dont get me wrong theres still shit im vain about appearance wise that doesnt matter. i still like to style my hair before i leave#the house etc. im still looking in the cave sometimes#but perhaps one day i will be as blissfully uncaring about ppls perception of me as a fuckin goby#anyway. anyway anyway anyway#if you do this things get so much easier. but you dont have to. i have no power over you
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you: nicholas alexander chavez, the actor from ryan murphy's recent work
me, a mama's girl and daytime tv viewer:
#text post#general hospital#nicholas alexander chavez#spencer cassadine#sorry i'm still not over my shock at this lol#i remember asking my mom MONTHS ago (she follows general hospital news online) 'hey wheres spencer i havent seen him in awhile?'#'oh his character died off. the actor is doing some netflix show where he plays a murderer'#and you have to understand. i dont consume anything to do w true crime. but to my 63-year-old mother. ryan murphy doesnt exist#so bc of just how self-contained the archaic institution of network soap operas are. i just. idk i didnt assume it was a big role#it didnt register to me that it was the sequel to the dahmer show. is what i am saying. and i never thought about it again#mommy made it sound like he might be coming back bc soap opera characters fake-die all the time#and so i put the thought out of my head until completely independently i was watching a video about monsters: menendez being flawed#and i was like. going absolutely insane w how familiar he looked i was like 'ok i know that man cant be too famous but i KNOW him'#'i know him from something and i know him WELL from something. like whatever hes from is iconic to me'#and then the video creator said his name and i was like THATS INSANE WHERE DO I KNOW THAT NAME??!?!??#it's a name i read in the credits but probably never thought in my head at all bc sorry he's just spencer to me#so i googled it and i was gobsmacked. i was like MOM DIDNT SAY he was gonna be in THIS SHIT!?!?!?#i also do lay my life down on the defense that the cinematography of a prestige netflix drama makes him less recognizable to me#who knew him best under cheap soap opera lighting in basic back and forth dialogue shots. like#i have to be honest i never cared for his looks on gh bc he just kinda looked like too perfect. like he looked like a mannequin#i see it now though i get it#i get why he's very fan editable to the true crime girlies i get it#not that it matters. im just in mourning bc it never occurred to me the spencer era was over. i actually liked his character#i cant tell u why bc he wasnt all that distinguishable from all the other basic dramatic character archetypes. idk it was a good performanc#i cant explain to u what makes a soap opera character distinct while still being completely generic (they all are)#i also liked his relationship w his girlfriend in the show it was cute. he was evil but they were sweet#nicky please come back. im begging u. as your only general hospital era fan who is your age#i dont wanna watch monsters menendez i reeeeeally dont
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