#like i know what 12 tbsp of butter looks like

[evildeerboy]

tried to avenge my earlier baking fail (the spicy banana saltloaf) by making a pinterest recipe of those cream cheese pumpkin muffins from starbucks from scratch including the pumpkin puree

dw i still fucked up the filling placement as you can see. but actually they still slap. so i win at baking again

come to my house and eat these

[digitalfishwish]

Kit's Traybake Pancakes (cinnamon apple var.) - Updated!

Love eating pancakes but hate making them? This traybake pancake recipe may be for you! Making these gives me enough pancake squares for 6 days (5 if you eat two on the day you make them). They’re fluffy, reheat well, can either be eaten with or without maple syrup, and are very customizable! I recommend adding fruit and protein powder like I do in this recipe, making it a (slightly) healthier breakfast than just pure carbs.

(Updated) instructions under the cut!

Full disclosure, the base for this recipe was the mug pancake recipe from Emma’s Goodies, which you can watch here!

I made this mug pancake for years (except with tripled portions because I was using a very big mug) and it was super delicious! However, for just one mug pancake, it was a bit of a production and didn’t feel super worth it. Thusly, I have adapted the recipe to be made in a 13”x9” baking tray, which makes a whole lot of breakfast.

Recipe (serving size: 2 squares):

Base Ingredients:

12 tbsp. butter (I use salted, if you don’t have salted butter, add a small amount of kosher salt to your recipe)

9 tbsp. (1/2 cup+ 1 tbsp) granulated sugar

12 fl.oz. milk (I use skim, use whatever kind you like)

3 cups all-purpose flour

3 tsp. baking powder

Customizable Ingredients:

1 scoop protein powder (I use vanilla flavored whey)

1/4 cup of maple syrup (ideally not pancake syrup, they’re different)

1 apple (I use McIntosh or Honeycrisp)

A piping hot cup of apple tea with a heaping tablespoon of honey

Nutmeg, cinnamon, cardamom to taste, for sprinkling on top

Base Instructions:

Heat oven to 375°F, take out a 13”x9” nonstick baking pan and spray bottom and sides with cooking spray (yes theoretically I know you don’t need to spray a nonstick pan but better safe than sorry).

If you choose to put apple chunks in, I recommend doing this step first. I personally like to let the chunks soak in my favorite loose leaf apple tea (non-sponsored plug)! Boil a cup of water and fill the tea infuser with tea. Add a heaping tablespoon of honey to the cup and stir until it dissolves. Then put them infuser in and steep the tea for three minutes, after which you should give the mug a final stir and pour it into a bowl. See “customizable instructions, steps 2-4” for how I recommend cutting the apple. After that, put the peeled apple chunks into the bowl of delicious tea and let them soak until it’s time to add them later on!

If you’re not putting apple in, do this step first. Put butter in a bowl and melt it in the microwave. I recommend microwaving for 1m20s.

Put butter in a stand mixer, preferably with the paddle attachment. While you heat the milk in the microwave* (40 seconds, I use a glass liquid measuring cup), add the granulated sugar to the mixer. Once the milk is heated, give it a real quick stir, and then add it and use one of the lower settings on your mixer.

(If you have customizable wet ingredients, add them now!)

Add the flour and baking powder, mix again on low setting until it forms a batter (a small amount of lumps is okay from what I’ve heard, you don’t want to overmix).

*You can’t put cold milk into hot butter, it will form little clumps and be gross

Customizable Instructions:

Add a 1/4 cup of maple syrup (as above, preferably before the flour, with the other wet ingredients), and also one scoop of your preferred protein powder. Mix on low setting until it’s incorporated.

Peel the apple wedges with a peeler (don't use the skin, you'll thank me later). If you have an apple cutter (the thing that looks like a wheel with handles), use that. If you don’t:

Take your apple and a large, sharp knife (be careful) and cut the apple in half vertically. Then place it down with the core side up, and cut each apple half like so: cut off the left side, avoiding the core, followed by the right. Then turn what’s left of the half apple on its side, and cut off the last piece at the back. Do the same for the other apple half, then chop the segments into whatever sized chunks you want.

Use as much of it as you want, but I myself use the whole apple. (If you don’t, eat whatever segments you don’t intend to use for a lil snack.) Then put apple chunks into mixer, and half the tea if you made it, and mix until incorporated. (Drink what tea remains, it’s even more delicious now that the fresh apple’s been in it!)

Baking Instructions:

Pour batter into greased baking tray, shake the pan until the batter is flattened and reaches all the corners (or use a spatula and spread it evenly by hand). Optional: Sprinkle the top with cinnamon, nutmeg, and cardamom according to your tastes. I tend to have a heavy hand even if I don’t mean to, but it still comes out very tasty! (and smells great while baking!)

When the oven reaches temperature (if you preheated it at the beginning, it may have already been at temperature for a while) put the pan in and cook for 35 mins. Know your oven and if it tends to be hotter or colder*, adjust cook time as necessary.

When the timer goes off, test the center in several places with a toothpick. As long as it doesn’t come out goopy, you’re good! (crumbs on the toothpick is fine) I say test in several places because if you accidentally go through a piece of apple, your toothpick may come out slightly wet, but that doesn’t mean the pancakes aren’t done. If it's not done, cook in intervals of 5 minutes, testing each time the timer goes off.

Take pan out and use a butter knife or a pie serving spatula and poke around the edges of the pan to free the pancake traybake from the edges. Let cool for 10 minutes.

Cut into squares. I tend to cut 12 pieces, but you could go smaller or larger depending on how much you intend to eat at once.

*How do I know if my oven runs hot or cold, you may ask? If any recipe you make comes out raw and/or takes longer to cook than the instructions say, your oven is colder! If your food ends up burnt and/or takes less time to cook than the recipe instructions say, your oven is hotter!

Enjoy! I eat two squares at a time and it makes a good breakfast! For storing, put however much of it you can eat in 2-3 days in the fridge. Store the rest in the freezer.

For any customizing other than what I did, use whatever fruit, spices, syrups, and/or protein powders you want! Just be aware that more fruit in the batter means it may take longer to cook!

If you make them, either the same way I did here or differently, let me know how they came out!

OLD EDIT: After some experimentation, it seems like the pancakes come out more moist if baked for 35 minutes at 375°F! I also soak the apple pieces in a cup of “Apple Blood Tea” (find it on adagio teas, it’s super delish!) with honey at the beginning of the process, then add the ‘marinated’ apples and half a cup of the tea into the batter.

NEW EDIT 09/2024: I just changed the recipe whether it needed changing, since I realized that changing stuff behind the readmore didn’t transfer to previously reblogged posts 😫 I also added image descriptions.

[thebakeologylab]

Chapter 2: Donut go breaking my heart

Beauty

'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder'

But I possess no such thing

For I cannot imagine another

To love me as if I'm their everything.

I've always been jealous

And envious of other's beauty

But now I have learnt

That that was my own insecurity

I learnt to love myself

And let others get to know ME

She was always locked away on a shelf

But now she is free.

Like the oceans and forests and sunsets,

Each beautiful in their own way

They are all different from each other

Yet they never take each other's shine away

For a while, I have struggled with loving myself because I've always compared myself to others. I used to criticize my looks and wished I looked like someone else. What I failed to realize was that another person's beauty does not take away from your own. We are all different but beautiful in our own way. No one on earth is exactly the same. Each of us are special and unique and that is what matters most.

This week we are making donuts! Just like us, donuts come in all shapes, flavours and sizes. You can personalize your donuts however you want. From toppings like sprinkles, chopped peanuts and cinnamon sugar, it's all up to you.

Donut recipe (12 donuts)

2 cups flour

4 tbsp softened butter

2 tbsp sugar

1 tsp salt

2 tsp yeast

1 tsp vanilla extract

1/3 cup milk

1 egg

Preparation

Sift flour into a large bowl then add sugar, salt and yeast. Add in butter and mix until it looks like crumbs. Lastly whisk in your egg, vanilla and milk until a dough starts to form. Knead with your hands and form it into ball and place it an oiled bowl. Cover and let it rise for 1 to 2 hours. Next, roll out the dough about half an inch thick and cut out your donut shapes using a donut cover or a large cup and a small bottle cover. Leave to rest for 10 minutes before frying. Lastly, fry on low heat until golden brown.

Allow your donuts to cool completely before adding any icing and toppings of your choice.

Ps. You are never too much, and you're always enough <3

[hasufin]

I am about to make an entire ethnic group mad at me. Ready? Here goes.

Southerners don't know how to make biscuits.

Please note, I am not saying they are unable to make biscuits. They make perfectly good, even exceptional, biscuits. (Note, I am talking about the American usage of "biscuit", not the British term)

But Southerners have no idea HOW they are making good biscuits. They are doing what their mama or gramma taught them, using very possibly the exact same tools, buying ingredients from the same grocery store, and reproducing the same results, but this is not a skill they have any capacity to explain.

And if you look online, you can find a plethora of Southerners who moved (invariably to New York City, apparently) and suddenly were completely unable to make decent biscuits, with no ability to diagnose why. Once they have made a clean break from their traditional tools and materials, they are lost.

Which means you end up with all these weird essays as they flail around and make up reasons for why "Northerners" can't make good biscuits, usually inventing super special secret ingredients, which they then share.

None of these Southern-led instructions work. If anything, the results are worse. If you want to know how to make good biscuits: find a Northerner who has learned and ask them. That is, find someone who learned as an outsider, because they will be able to explain what they're actually doing with awareness, not simply "and then you do like gramama did which is, uh, you just do!"

None of the instructions I've seen from Southerners on the art of biscuit-making work. By contrast, the recipe in Joy of Cooking has never failed me.

Here is what I, as a Northerner, have learned. Let's start with the recipe:

2 cups all-purpose flour

2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

1 tsp salt

6 tbsp butter

3/4 cups buttermilk

1. Preheat your oven to 450°F. Thoroughly clean a space on your counter to roll out your biscuits.

2. Combine the dry ingredients in a large bowl. If possible use a sifter.

3. Using a pastry cutter, cut the butter into flour. You do not want to cut it too much - stop shortly after you get it down to pea-sized bits.

4. Add all the buttermilk at once. Combine with a rubber spatula or wooden spoon until it's combined enough to work by hand. Then, once you can work by hand, knead together very firmly. (I will note more on this step later, it's important but people make it Weird.)

5. Roll the dough out to a thickness of about an inch. If you have a biscuit cutter use that to cut the biscuits, otherwise use the bottom of a glass and a paring knife. Gently knead the excess dough back together and cut more biscuits until you run out of dough. The fewer times you have to knead the dough, the better off you are.

6. Arrange the biscuits on a baking sheet. Brush the tops with milk or melted butter and bake for 10-12 minutes.

Now, this is not a terribly complicated recipe. And, start to finish, it will take roughly half an hour, mostly due to the time it takes to heat the oven to 450°F. So here are the important things I have learned:

a. DO NOT use self-rising (or raising) flour!!!!!! Ever!!!! Yes, I know that's what your gramma used, but she was using a particular brand in a particular region with leavening adjusted based on decades of experience. Self-rising flour is a terrible scam and makes people think they suck at baking. All it is, is all-purpose flour with some unknown amount of unknown leavening and maybe salt added. How much? No idea! They certainly aren't going to tell you. It takes control out of your hands. Use unleavened all-purpose flour and measure your own damned baking powder, baking soda, and salt.

b. You do not need a special soft wheat flour which is only sold in 50-lb bags under the full moon at a mill in rural Kentucky. If that was important, that kind of flour would be in every grocery store in the country. Any all-purpose flour will work. It's possible that you might get some interesting results mixing in a lower-gluten cake flour, but odds are you personally will see no value in that kind of fussiness, and it's certainly not necessary for good biscuits.

c. By contrast, the buttermilk does matter. It's not impossible to make good biscuits using standard grocery store buttermilk, but you will thank yourself for finding a nice, rich buttermilk from a local dairy.

d. Now, the kneading. This is the big one. Biscuits are in fact an awful lot like pie crusts. And like pie crusts if you work them too much they will get awful and tough. The problem here is that most online guides make you terrified of working the dough at all, and you spend 45 minutes poking tentatively at the dough with icy fingertips, which is 45 minutes wasted because that will never get the dough to come together and you're still going to need to do actual kneading. I honestly think this is why people end up with hockey pucks: they lack confidence and end up doing far worse than if they'd jumped in and just done it. So....

First, as with any dough, it's going to be very sticky when you first add the liquid. You will not be able to knead it at this stage. You need to use the aforementioned spatula or spoon to fold the liquid in until it's no longer too sticky to knead - and only until that stage.

Second, once it's no longer too sticky to work with, you're going to need to get your fingies dirty. Make sure your hands are CLEAN and DRY. If you did this in a big enough bowl you can knead directly in the bowl, otherwise you'll need to turn it onto the counter.

Third, use a lot of pressure. This is not a "tickle lightly with iced fingertips" situation. PUSH THAT DOUGH. Your goal is to force it together. Quickly. You should be able to do this in two or three turns because you are kneading it like it's the neck of the worst boss you've ever had. The one who called you in to run the register on Xmas eve so they could go home and watch TV. If the dough were their skull, it should be crushed. Use a lot of pressure very briefly. but VERY briefly. Put your weight into it; your goal is to press the whole mass together right away and be done.

Fourth, apply that same approach to rolling it out: fast, forceful, confident.

It's a simple thing, but there are many ways to screw it up. The trick is in knowing what they really are.

[robbybirdy]

Sumertime Baking Therapy #2 Chickpea Chocolate Chip Cookies

Hello, every birdie!

Now imagine this: you wake up, can't go anywhere because the sky is orange, and you have asthma. (You constantly pray for the people of Canada.) Normally you go to your local food pantry/thrift store and the fact that you can't go makes you frustrated. Now you want to go bake something, but then realize that there are no eggs in the fridge. This fact does not phase you because you live in the time of internet and can easily find egg less dessert recipes.

I honestly didn't know what I was going to be making yesterday. I knew that I had chocolate chips and I had chick peas/ gorbonzo beans. And so I searched the internet to find a recipe that would work. And I didn't exactly find a specific recipe for what I was looking for, but I did take inspiration from the two links down below. Feel free to check them out.

What you will need: • 15 oz can chick peas • 1 bag chocolate chips • 1 cup Peanut Butter • 1 or 2 tbsp milk ( most of the recipes were using maple syrup and it added the moisture that it needed. Just go with what looks good.)b • 1/2 cup brown sugar • 1/2 cup granulated sugar • 1 tsp vanilla extract • 1 tsp baking powder • 1 tsp baking soda • 1 cup oatmeal

The two kitchen appliances that I am going to be using is both my food processor and my convection toaster oven.

Grind up your chicks peas first because you don't want pieces of chickpeas in the cookies. Once the chickpeas are smooth you are going to put in the rest of your ingredients minus the milk, oatmeal and the chocolate chips.

You will want to add the milk a little at a time, just until the desired consistency is met. And it will be met a bit differently each time. Place your cookie dough in a bowl and fold in your oatmeal and chocolate chips.

Now I used my convection oven to make these cookies. But you could easily make them in a regular oven. Regular oven - 350 F. Convection oven - 315 F. You want to go 25 degrees difference if you are baking in a convection oven.

Each oven cpnvection or normal is going to be different. And if i havent made a cookie yet i eill always just bake it for 8 minutes and add time to it. Because as my mom has told me " you can always add time, Robyn. You can never take it away. If a recipe says 10-12 mi utes always go with the first number." You want these cookies to be brown and golden around the edges.

Regular oven - bake your cookies for 10 to 12 minutes.

Convection oven - bake your cookies for 8 minutes.

Let them set on the cookie sheet for about 4 minutes. Then transfer them to a cooling rack and enjoy.

I personally loved these cookies. Both for dessert and for breakfast. It was so high in protein, they weren't extremely sweet or anything like that. And I think my favorite part of these cookies was what my younger brother said to me. He takes a bite, looks at me and says " Robyn… You made a Cliff bar but you made it taste good." This comment was so unexpected, and it made me laugh. It wasn't what I was going for but it was something.

I honestly baking this way. Just randomly baking with what ever we have in the house. It helps me mentally and honestly it helps me when it comes to not being just being a person who only make when type of dessert. And I understand how lucky I am that I have my family, who will give me there honest opinions. I don't think I would continue baking if the responses I got were just " this tastes good" or " this is sweet." Sometimes I just need the honesty.

I hope you liked this recipe.

Recipes that inspired me: https://www.verybestbaking.com/recipes/original-nestle-toll-house-peanut-butter-and-milk-chocolate-morsel-cookies/

https://iheartvegetables.com/chickpea-chocolate-chip-cookies/

[curvycarbivore]

Pumpkin Mousse Pie with a Pumpkin Snap Crust (Vegan)

Yield: 12 servings | Prep time: 20 minutes | Cook time: 35 minutes | Total time: 55 minutes

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's pumpkin season, and you know what that means... pumpkin pie!! I recently fell in love with the Pumpkin Snaps from Sprouts Farmers Market grocery store, and it turns out that they can be made into a deliciously crunchy crust. I then filled the crust with some homemade pumpkin mousse and topped it off with some vegan whipped cream. This pie is best enjoyed chilled, or you can even freeze it if you want it to be more of an ice cream style dessert. Try it both ways and let me know which way you like better!

Ingredients:

1 ½ cups of crushed Sprouts Pumpkin Snaps (about 30 cookies)

5 tbsp vegan butter, melted

7 oz extra firm tofu

¼ cup pumpkin puree

¼ cup white sugar

¼ cup dark brown sugar

1 tsp vanilla

1 tbsp maple syrup

½ tsp pumpkin pie spice

3 cups of vegan whipped cream (I used an entire container of TruWhip)

More crushed Pumpkin Snap cookies for decorating the top

Directions:

Preheat your oven to 350° F. Lightly grease a 9 inch pie dish and set aside.

Start by making the crust.

Place 30 pumpkin snap cookies in a food processor or blender and pulse until crumbs have formed. Alternatively, you can place them in a plastic bag and crush them with a mallet.

Combine the pumpkin snap crumbs with 5 tbsp of melted butter in a bowl.

Transfer the buttery pumpkin snap crumbs into the pie dish.

Using a pint glass or your hands, press the crumbs evenly into the pie dish, making sure to evenly cover the bottom and sides.

Bake for 20-25 minutes or until it looks golden brown.

While the crust is baking, make the pumpkin filling.

Drain the tofu of any excess liquid, but do not press it.

In a blender or food processor, combine the tofu, pumpkin puree, white sugar, brown sugar, vanilla, maple syrup, and pumpkin pie spice.

Blend until everything is combined and there are no lumps.

Once the pie crust is done baking, let it cool for 5 minutes.

Pour the pumpkin filling into the pie crust and spread it out evenly.

Place it in the fridge for at least 30 minutes to set.

Lastly, spoon the whipped cream topping onto the pumpkin layer and spread it out evenly.

Optional: if the whipped cream is too warm to slice, place the entire pie in the freezer to set for about 10 minutes before serving. You can also freeze the pie for 2 hours to make it more of an ice cream treat!

Serve, topping with some crushed pumpkin snap cookies for a garnish.

Tips and Tricks:

If you can't find the Sprouts brand of Pumpkin Snaps, any brand will do. Ginger snaps would also make a yummy crust!

Store any leftover pie in an air-tight container or covered with plastic wrap in the fridge for up to 3 days, and the freezer up to 2 weeks.

[dearlydetests]

Do you hate the rising prices of bread?

Things are getting more expensive. Bread in stores are full of gross preservatives. It doesn't taste as good as when you were a kid.

I have a book. It's called 'How to Cook Everything' by Mark Bittman. It's a great read, the link I put is to their direct website and it's like $12, but you could find it on thriftbooks, used, for like $6 or less. I use the 20th edition because it was a gift and good lord do these recipes work.

So, here it is, the bread recipe they use. It takes about 4 hours hours, a longer if you don't have a stand mixer, but the bread that comes out of it is way better than any I've bought in store.

What you Need:

1 1/4 cup of milk (I use whole milk, the book suggests 2% as a replacement if you don't like whole. I haven't tried anything different)

3 1/2 cups all-purpose or bread flour, plus more for kneading and shaping

1 tsp salt

2 1/4 tsp (1 packet) instant yeast

1 tbsp sugar

2 tbsp good quality vegetable oil (I used olive oil, I would not recommend switching this out for butter as the olive oil made it lighter)

And that's it. That's all you need to make bread. You could make multiple loafs in a day, just spend a day making bread. Heat up your milk to 100℉, a little lower or a little warmer depending on altitude. Throw all that shit in a bowl or stand mixer or food processor or whatever. I use a stand mixer with the bread hook attachment.

Run that shit at a low speed until it all looks mixed together, then a little higher until it feels tacky and smooth. You can knead it if you want to make it smoother, that's what I did, but I don't think you have to. Grease a large bowl, or the bowl you mixed it in, wrap it in plastic wrap, and leave it alone for 2 hours. Go play video games, do homework, run to the store, whatever you want! Or start on another loaf!

It should be twice the size. Smack it down. Put it on a cutting board that's dusted with flour. Cover it and let it sit for 15 minutes. Shape it into a loaf form, put it in a greased 9x5-inch loaf pan, cover it and let it rise in a warm place for about 1 1/2 hours. What I did and the book suggest for this part is put your oven at the lowest temperature, let it preheat then turn it off. Put the bread in there for the hour, then put it on top of the stove for the last 30 minutes. Set the oven to 350 and get ready to cook it for 45-50 minutes. I brushed it with butter before I put it in and the crust tastes soooo good. The book suggests water.

And that's that! Let it cool on a wire rack or whatever you have, cut it, and enjoy the amazingness of fresh baked bread.

I know not everyone has time for this, but if you ever have a day off, it is so worth it. You can put the loaf in the fridge and it will last longer. My roommate made us grilled cheeses with my bread and it crisped nicely, it was soft on the inside. Trust me. It takes a while but it's mostly rest time and you can do other stuff while you're waiting.

[deerteatime]

In relation to the Ask Game:

Spicy Mayo and possibly Choccy Milk.

Spicy mayo - I appreciate the vibes you give off Choccy milk - we are baking cookies together and you don't have the option to say no

:D thank you nihi!!! also CHOCCY MILK SO TRUE!! MUTUALS GET IN HERE WE ARE MAKING COOKIES

[bumblebeeappletree]

Hey friends, welcome!💛 I hope you enjoy these simple, minimal ingredient, vegan and gluten free desserts! All of these are absolutely delicious and fairly quick and easy to throw together. You don't need any special tools and the ingredients being used are most likely already things you have hanging out in your kitchen!

If you try any of these be sure to let me know down in the comments or snap a photo and tag me on IG @flavourfuljulia

#vegandesserts #glutenfreedessets #simpledessertrecipes

✨Connect with me!✨

IG:

https://www.instagram.com/flavourfulj...

Tiktok

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMenhR17x/

Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/user/1t9ellh...

What I use to film : sony zv1 + iPhone 12 Pro

What I use to edit: iMovie ( on my Macbook )

Microphone: Razer Seiren Mini

0:00 Intro

0:29 Date Squares

1 cup pitted dates

1 1/2 cups rolled oats

1/2 cup crushed walnuts

3 + 1 tbsp maple syrup

3 tbsp + 1/4 cup cashew butter

2 tbsp coconut oil

1 tsp cinnamon

1/4 + 1/4 tsp salt

1 tsp vanilla extract

- preheat oven to 350F

- soak pitted dates in hot water for at least 15 minutes

- In a bowl combine oats, walnuts, 3 tbsp maple syrup, 3 tbsp cashew butter, coconut oil, cinnamon and 1/4 tsp salt. Mix really well

- Line a 9x6" baking dish with parchment paper ( or oil then pan with coconut oil sufficiently )

- place 3/4 of the granola mixture into the pan and lightly pack in the pan creating a nice even layer. ( No need to push really hard, but enough to form it tightly )

- Bake for 20 minutes

- Place drained, soaked dates into a blender or food processor with 1/4 cup cashew butter, 1 tbsp maple syrup, vanilla and 1/4 tsp salt. blend until smooth

- Once the base layer of the date squares is done add the date mixture on top, followed by the rest of the granola mixture. Bake for 15 more minutes and then allow to cool completely before cutting.

2:49 Chocolate "Fudge"

100g dark chocolate ( most chocolate over 72% is vegan, but look at the label to double check! )

1/2 cup cashew butter

1 tsp himalayan salt ( optional for topping )

- Line a loaf pan ( or an even small pan ) with parchment paper

- Bring a small pot with a small amount of water in it to a steaming point ( you don't want the bottom of your bowl to touch the water )

- Roughly chop your chocolate and place it into the bowl over top of the steaming water. allow to melt slowly. Add your cashew butter then take off the heat and stir in very well.

- Pour your chocolate mixture into your parchment paper lined pan and place in the freezer for 1 hour

- Pull from the freezer, sprinkle with salt, cut into desired sizes and enjoy!

4:08 Date Twix Bar

Cookie layer:

1 1/2 cups oat flour

3 tbsp coconut oil

2 tbsp maple syrup

1 tsp vanilla

1/4 tsp salt

Date Caramel layer:

1 cup pitted dates

2 tbsp cashew butter

1/4 cup water

( feel free to add some maple syrup or other sweetener if you desire! )

Chocolate layer:

60-70g dark chocolate

- Pre heat oven to 350F

- In a bowl combine all cookie layer ingredients

- line a loaf pan ( 9X5" ) or other small baking dish with oil or parchment paper. ( 6x8" or 6X6" would work however the cookie might need a couple more minutes to cook because it will be thicker )

- Pack your cookie dough into the pan to make a even layer ( no need to push crazy hard but enough to make it tightly formed )

- Bake for 15 - 17 minutes

- Add your dates, cashew butter and water to a blender and blend until smooth. Once cookie layer is done and cooled add the date caramel. Place in the fridge while you melt your chocolate over the stove.

- Bring a small pot with a small amount of water in it to a steaming point ( you don't want the bottom of your bowl to touch the water )

- Melt 3/4 of the chocolate then remove the bowl from the heat and mix in the rest of the chopped chocolate, stirring until completely melted

6:40 Chocolate chip + dipped cookie

1 1/4 cup oat flour

3 tbsp coconut oil

1/4 cup maple syrup

1 tsp vanilla

1/4 tsp salt

2 small handfuls of chocolate chips ( mini ones would be amazing! )

50g dark chocolate

- In a bowl combine everything except chocolate chips and chocolate. Once well combined mix in chocolate chips

- Line a plate with parchment paper then measure out 1 heaping tbsp of the batter, rolling it into a ball and placing it onto the plate ( don't worry they aren't supposed to stay in a ball lol )

- Place in the freezer for 20-30 minutes

- In the meantime, melt your chocolate using the same technique stated above in the twix recipe

- dip the tops of the cookies into the melted chocolate then leave to cool

Music by Ashes to Amber - Iris - https://thmatc.co/?l=15ABBCEA

Music by sunshine blvd. - Ocean Blue - https://thmatc.co/?l=7552AA4D

Music by Mark Generous - Orange And Pomegranate - https://thmatc.co/?l=C3543685

Music by Nicky Youre - Sunroof - https://thmatc.co/?l=19A25C2D

[onionchoppingninja]

Kurokiba Ryo’s Autumn Pacific Saury Cartoccio (Shokugeki no Souma/Food Wars)

It’s autumn in the northern hemisphere, which means it’s time to revisit the Autumn special!

This is Kurokiba Ryo’s pacific Saury Cartoccio, which he made for the finals. I previously made Souma’s Oja-Style Nuka Pacific Saury Takikomi Gohan here. (Man, what a mouthful). My and the Bottomless Pit’s decision on who won between the two at the bottom!

One thing to note is that I could only find frozen versions of the seafood (except the prawns), so there’s definitely some difference in quality there. And I could only get dried versions of the herbs. Do try to get everything fresh if you can! Recipe under the cut for dashboard users.

Ingredients (feeds 2, or 1 hungry person)

For the herb butter

125g Salted Butter

2 cloves garlic, minced

Black pepper to taste

Parsley, 1/2 tbsp

Thyme, 1/2 tbsp

Main ingredients

1 large Pacific Saury (or I used 2 small ones because that’s all I could find and using 1 alone looked really sad)

About 15 asari (manila clams)

About 8-12 mussels

4 medium prawns/shrimp

3 button mushrooms, sliced

5 Cherry Tomatoes, halved

2 slices lemon to garnish

1 tbsp lemon juice (optional)

Method

6-24 hours before:

1. Make the herb butter! Microwave the salted butter slightly until it melts. I recommend 10 secs each time on high, stirring between every nuke until it’s all soft.

2. Mix the herbs, garlic, pepper in! If using fresh herbs, make sure they are clean and dry.

3. Stick it in a covered bowl in the fridge.

About 30 mins before dinner:

4. Arrange the seafood in baking paper (or that high heat cling film that Kurokiba uses) as you preheat your oven to 250 Celcius (482 F)

5. Put the herb butter over it in chunks.

6. Seal up the package as best as you can. I folded the paper in several layers. 

7. Bake at 250 Celcius for about 15 mins, when you see bubbling in the package.

8. Garnish with the lemon slices and serve! I guess you could bake it with the lemon, but I dislike the bitter taste lemon gets when cooked. You can add the lemon juice after you open the package too.

Our verdict?

.

.

I strongly prefered Souma’s dish with a more distinct taste! But the Bottomless Pit liked Ryo’s better, maybe because I served it with pasta, as shown below. But he agreed that if it was on its own, Souma’s would’ve been better. Still, as a dish, Ryo’s is definitely too unsubstantial as a meal by itself. (Unless you’re on a keto diet.) It also helped Souma that I only have access to frozen saury, which means Souma’s way of making the saury tastier gave him a leg up.

Ok, I know there’s still Hayama’s left before I really try them all, but I’m a little hesitant on trying to prepare raw fish since I haven’t received any formal sushi/sashimi training... especially since saury has so many bones....

++++++

For more fan recipes, follow me @onionchoppingninja!

And check out my: Recipe Archive | Instagram | Facebook

[tastesoftamriel]

I posted 899 times in 2021

489 posts created (54%)

410 posts reblogged (46%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.8 posts.

I added 2,050 tags in 2021

#asks - 433 posts

#the elder scrolls - 247 posts

#pictures - 235 posts

#tes - 231 posts

#world building - 191 posts

#worldbuilding - 188 posts

#food - 159 posts

#tastes of tamriel - 151 posts

#tastesoftamriel - 123 posts

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Longest Tag: 97 characters

#are rollerskates a thing in tamriel because i think talviel would absolutely take up roller derby

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Khajiiti Caramel Tarts

Dur to popular demand from my post about Tamrielic sweets, I'm pleased to bring you this recipe for delicious, dairy-free caramel tarts from Elsweyr! This recipe is for about 12 tarts- if you have any filling leftover, steam it in a glass ramekin for 30 minutes or so to set, before glazing with sugar as per the recipe below. Want more tarts? Just add more puff pastry!

[Image from the Skyrim Melt in Your Mouth mod...my pastries were a bit burnt and did not look great so I had to settle for the next best thing to publish on time!]

You will need:

320g (1 pack) puff pastry

5 egg yolks

350ml coconut cream

1/2 cup caster sugar

1 vanilla bean pod, scraped (or 1-2 tsp vanilla essence

1 tsp pandan essence (optional)

1/2 tsp ground nutmeg

1/2 tsp ground cardamom

Approx. 2 tbsp brown sugar (preferably coconut sugar, muscovado is also good)

Method:

Firstly, grease a muffin mold with butter and cut your puff pastry into 1" thick circles (or a size that will fit your molds snugly). This recipe makes about 12 tarts, but you may have more or fewer depending on your molds.

Preheat your oven to 250C/482F and set the pastry aside for now.

In a small pot, whisk together the coconut cream, vanilla, pandan essence, nutmeg, cardamom, and egg yolks on low heat, ensuring that the yolks do not cook and curdle. Keep whisking gently until the mixture is smooth and well-mixed, and pour them into your pastry molds immediately.

Pop the tarts into the oven on the middle shelf and bake for about 15-20 minutes, until golden brown. The centre custard should be jiggly, but not liquid.

Remove the tarts from the oven and sprinkle the top surface of each with brown sugar. If you have a kitchen blowtorch, now is the time to let it shine- blast the sugar for about 5 seconds per tart to caramelise the tops! If you don't have a blowtorch, simply pop your tarts back into the oven directly under the grill for a minute.

Leave to cool before eating. Great warm or cold!

275 notes • Posted 2021-07-02 08:01:29 GMT

#4

What have the Tamrielic races got in terms of candy? I know the Khajiit have moon sugar brittle and the Nords got their honey sweets, but what else is there?

There are so many sweets in Tamriel it'll make your teeth hurt, and I'm lucky enough to have tried loads of them! These are some of my favourite treats...

Redguards

I adore going to Hammerfell sweetshops, which are packed to the rafters with fresh candies and pastries dripping in honey. The Redguards enjoy sweet cakes flavoured with exotic spices like cardamom and nutmeg, along with syrups of rose, coconut, and salty caramel soaking right through them. My favourite, however, is deep-fried sugar swirls, which are made from thick coconut sugar syrup that's fried in hot oil, fresh from the cauldron!

Bretons

The Bretons are known for their boozy filled candies, which are quite inventive and pack some punch (literally)! Aside from the famous brandy-filled chocolates, High Rock is home to some of Tamriel's best patisseries. From airy butter tarts filled with brandy jam, to jaw-dropping tiered fruit cakes with absinthe-filled fizzy lemon sweets, you'll be in heaven if you're a fan of desserts!

Argonians

The Argonians don't have much of a sweet tooth, but they do love tropical fruits and a curious nectar from a native Murkmire plant, scuttlebloom. Papaya and watermelon "cakes" are layered fruit wrapped into little rice paper parcels which are then soaked in scuttlebloom nectar and served slightly chilled. Another favourite is steamed sago pudding, served either hot or cold, with chopped yams, preserved palm fruit, barley pearls, and fresh fruits. Refreshingly different and totally moreish.

Khajiit

Now where do I even begin with the Khajiit? From pastries and biscuits to boiled sweets and airy spun moon sugar, sugar-tooth has a double meaning the second you cross the border to Elsweyr. My personal favourite are caramel tarts, which are a sweet biscuit shell filled with caramel pudding, topped with moon sugar, and blasted with a lick of fire (often spells) to grill the top to crackling perfection. And of course, you can try my Moon Sugar Brittle and Senchal Baklava for a taste of Southern Elsweyr too!

Bosmer

In addition to chewing or smoking sweetgnats, Green Pact followers have mastered to an art the creation of naturally sweetened animal meats and milks through generations of selective breeding and a staunch diet of moon sugar cane and fruits. Sugar mammoths are a smaller breed of timber mammoth that fall under the criteria, and their milk is pleasantly sweet and easy to caramelise. It makes it the perfect base for creamy desserts, and the meat of the sugar mammoth is prized for its sweet but meaty flavour. A typical Bosmer dessert would be a baked egg pudding topped with a flame-grilled scuttlecream meringue, which is perfectly sweet and balanced!

Nords

You're right about Nords having a slight addiction to honey, which is the basis of our sugar, though we also grow sugar beets to a smaller degree. Aside from Honey Nut Treats and taffy, we're also famous for our honey-based hard boiled sweets, which are delicious plain or flavoured with berries, juniper, and other herbs. Think of a little ball of mead, unless you dislike mead. I should probably have tried to sell this a little harder, but I do enjoy both mead and boiled honey sweets.

Dunmer

Traditional desserts from Vvardenfell are a bit confusing to mainland Tamrielic tastes, and are often sweet saltrice-based soups flavoured with ingredients like comberry, ginger and ash yams, served with glutinous saltrice dumplings stuffed with roasted gold kanet seeds or sweet ash yam paste. Cakes are common as an afternoon snack, and range from simple marshmerrow sponges to intricate scuttlecream chocolate sculptures.

Orsimer

Orcs aren't huge fans of desserts or candy in general (bad for the tusks), but there are a fair few stronghold staples that are understandably praiseworthy. My favourite is echatere cream cheese torte, which is made from a divinely light cheese creme that has the distinctive grassy scent of echatere milk, set deep in a buttery biscuit crust. It isn't overwhelmingly sweet and is perfect plain, though some variations also include berry compote, vanilla, and even ingredients like citrus and lemongrass among the Wood Orcs of Valenwood.

Altmer

Dessert isn't great for the Altmer figure, but you'll need to exercise serious control when you see the patisseries of Summerset! The High Elves are less prone to munching on sweets, preferring dried fruit such as blood orange peels, pomegranate "raisins", and candied ginger. In fact, candied ginger is the star of a famous Alinor cupcake, which is a little confection of vanilla sponge soaked in lemon syrup and orange blossom liqueur, filled with a fragrant ginger marzipan, and topped with a soft orange crème and candied ginger pieces.

Imperials

The Imperials are famous for their simple yet perfectly balanced cakes and pastries, which feature natural flavours from ingredients imported from around Tamriel. Everything from saffron from Taneth to almonds from Elsweyr can be found at the Imperial City markets, and there are cakes and candies galore you can sample. In terms of a classic Cyrodiilic dessert, I adore a good coffee liqueur cake, made from layers of coffee pudding and creamy rum jelly on a crisp coffee biscuit crust. It's best served cold, with a strong shot of espresso to wash it down!

393 notes • Posted 2021-04-05 19:45:19 GMT

#3

Rustic apple sweetroll

Here's a surprise Solstice recipe from me to all of you! Now, it's pretty obvious that I love apple desserts. Cinnamon gorapples? Cream cheese frosted gorapple cake? Princess' Delight? Yum! But I've decided to put a Talviel spin on a Tamrielic classic today, and I am pleased to unveil the apple sweetroll! I personally found it sweet enough without icing, but nothing is stopping you from decorating it the traditional sweetroll way! This cake can be a little recalcitrant coming out of the tin, so don't feel bad if it peels or looks a little rough- it's still delicious!

You will need:

3 big green apples (I used Bramley), cut into thin wedges

3 eggs

250g butter

250g brown sugar

250g plain flour

1.5 tsp baking powder

2 tsp vanilla essence

3 tsp cinnamon

Method:

Preheat your oven to 180C/356F. Grease a large bundt tin with butter, and evenly lay out apple slices to cover the sides and base of the tin. Set aside.

In a mixing bowl, beat the butter and sugar together until light and creamy. Add the eggs and continue to beat the mixture until smooth and even.

Add the flour, baking powder, vanilla, and cinnamon. Continue mixing until a smooth batter forms. Pour the batter into the bundt tin, making sure that the apple slices are all covered well.

Wrap the tin in foil and bake on the middle shelf for 45 minutes, until the cake is golden brown and a toothpick comes out clean if you poke it. Leave to cool for at least 15 minutes before flipping it out onto a large plate or serving platter. Fabulous with custard and ice cream!

519 notes • Posted 2021-06-20 16:50:14 GMT

#2

Braided bread

My mother-in-law's recipe book has been invaluable over the more recent years of my cooking journey, and today's recipe (ever so slightly adjusted) is one that fans have been clamouring for: braided bread. This delicious, light brioche is sweet and fragrant- if you don't have saffron, try using a good amount of nutmeg, cinnamon, or any other spice you wish!

You will need:

900g flour, plus extra for dusting

200g butter, melted

500ml warm (not hot!) milk

50g dry yeast

1/2 tsp salt

250g caster sugar

1g saffron

2 eggs, beaten

Method:

Combine the butter, half the milk, and yeast. Stir thoroughly and set aside until the yeast is frothy.

Add the rest of the milk, sugar, and saffron once the yeast is frothy. Add one of the eggs to the mixture and beat on medium speed with an electric mixer with dough hooks if possible.

Once the mixture is smooth, add the flour, and crank the speed up to high. Continue to mix until the ingredients are well combined and you have an even, yellow dough. Cover with cling wrap and set aside in a large bowl for about 3 hours to rise. The dough may need a second proofing if it starts to spill over, but try to keep the rising time to about three hours to allow the saffron to infuse.

On a lightly floured surface, divide the dough into 3 even lumps, and roll each of them out individually into ropes. It's important that you don't over-flour the dough, as it's very buttery and really doesn't need any to prevent it from sticking. I like my strands to be at least an inch thick, so they get nice and fluffy when baking. If you prefer, you can divide the dough into two separate batches to make smaller breads- simply make 6 ropes instead of 3.

With the dough resting on a baking sheet lined with paper, pinch the tops of the three ropes together to join them, and braid your bread. It should neither be too tight or too loose- it should hold if you pick it up.

Set the braided dough aside for 30 minutes. Turn your oven up to 250C/482F. Brush with the other egg over the bread (be sure to get in the corners!) to give it a pretty glaze, and bake on the middle shelf for 8-10 minutes. Leave to cool for at least 15 minutes on a wire rack before eating.

696 notes • Posted 2021-01-01 16:46:12 GMT

#1

Apple Dumplings 2.0

Apple dumplings are probably the first dessert I ever learned to make, and have become something I've refined over the years. This is my new and improved recipe, with a tastier, richer filling!

You will need:

3 big cooking apples (I used Bramley)

1 sheet (320g) puff pastry

1/2 cup soft brown sugar

1/4 cup water

2 tbsp butter

2 tbsp sweetened condensed milk

1/2 tsp vanilla essence

1/2 tbsp cinnamon

1 egg, beaten, for brushing

Method:

Preheat oven to 220C/428F. Line a tray with baking paper.

In a pot, melt the butter with the condensed milk and half the sugar. Turn the stove to medium heat.

Peel and dice the apples roughly, and add them in with the water. Stir to incorporate the pieces into the caramel, making sure that it does not stick to the bottom of the pot.

As the apples release their juice, add the rest of the sugar, along with the vanilla essence and cinnamon. Keep stirring until the apples disintegrate into a puree. Remove from the heat to cool.

Lay out your puff pastry and cut into six even squares. Scoop a heaped tablespoon of filling into the centre of each square.

To turn them into dumplings, gently grab the top left and bottom right corners to meet together at the top, and pinch together. Bring the other corners up to do the same. Now, gently pinch all the pastry together, with seams of about 1mm of space. Make sure you get the bottom folds too, you want these dumplings to be airtight to prevent filling from leaking out!

Space your folded dumplings on the baking tray, with plenty room between them for the pastry to rise.

Brush with beaten egg to give the pastry a nice glossy finish, and bake for 15 minutes, or until golden brown.

Leave the dumplings to cool for at least 15 minutes before serving- the filling will be extremely hot! Have them on their own, or with custard or ice cream, and a drizzle of maple syrup. Best eaten immediately.

Edit: You'll have some applesauce left over with this recipe. It's delicious mixed with custard on the side, or have it with oats and cinnamon!

1119 notes • Posted 2021-05-07 08:00:49 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[edgewaterfarmcsa]

CSA WEEK 9

P I C K L I S T

CORN - LETTUCE - PURPLE CABBAGE - BASIL - GARLIC - (softy) BLUEBERRIES - TOMATO - BEETS

LEMON CUKES - SLICING CUKES - ANNISE HYSSOP - PURPLE PEPPER - HOTTY PEP JALAPENO - RED ONION

Lengthy pro-tip section, so not a lot of room for updates but I can tell you this:  My heart is totally bursting from the back to back blueberry-pick-pop-ups.  It just feels so good to be able to welcome you all into the fields again!  And the turn out for both days and the good vibes all around are really and truly what CSA dreams are made of. Well, that and a ½ bushel box full of kimchi making crops (napa cabbage/bok choy/ginger/hot pepper/scallions/etc… who’s with me on this?).

In other news, last week Mother Nature finally started to lighten up on us and now we are getting some proper summer weather.  The cukes and summer and zucchini just started to really kick in. Melons are on the verge of major harvesting and the flavor has been pretty good considering the water and lack of sun. Cherry and grape tomatoes should be coming in to it pretty soon as well. We have made most of our final direct seedings outside with the exception of a few more radishes and a spinach seeding for fall.  FALL!!! EGADS, NOT READY!!  We continue to plant broccoli, cabbage and cauliflower in hopes of some favorable September/October conditions, but goodness gracious at this point it’s all a crapshoot.

PRO TIPS:

SOFTY BLUES… YES! YOUR BLUEBERRIES ARE QUITE SOFT! THIS IS NOT AN ILLUSION… Here is the deal, as blueberry season marches on, the picking conditions are less than ideal.  Literal branches hanging out in standing water.  The field we are currently on is soaked- therefor the berries are super soaked.  Nobody is pumped, HOWEVER, these berries can be combined with your berries from PYO on Saturday and transformed into the most beautiful and flavorful smoothie/pie/jam/sauce etc… OR FREEZE these blues, and in the winter when you are desperate for some summertime flavorflavs, thaw out, combine with yogurt, and soft blueberries will never be more welcome.  

JENNY’S NOTE: THE FOLLOWING IS ENTIRELY FROM THE BON APPETIT WEBSITE, BUT I WHOLE-HEARTEDLY AGREE WITH THE FOOD PROCESSOR SENTIMENT.  IF YOU CAN FIGURE OUT AWAY TO GET ONE (THEY ARE SO EXPENSIVE I KNOW!!!) THEY ARE TOTALLY WORTH THE INVESTMENT. IT’S A SUMMER EATING SEASON MUST… You will need a food processor—if you don’t have one, we highly recommend making this an excuse to get one; it’s a good investment that you’ll use forever and ever and ever—and a handful of ingredients like basil, pine nuts, olive oil, Parmesan, garlic, and salt. The key for this classic pesto is to add the basil at the very end instead of blending everything all at once. That way the herbs will maintain their verdant color without bruising or losing flavor.

Ingredients

MAKES ABOUT 1½ CUPS

½ cup pine nuts

3 oz. Parmesan, grated (about ¾ cup)

2 garlic cloves, finely grated

6 cups basil leaves (about 3 bunches)

¾ cup extra-virgin olive oil

1 tsp. kosher salt

Step 1

Preheat oven to 350°. Toast pine nuts on a rimmed baking sheet (or quarter sheet pan), tossing once halfway through, until golden brown, 5–7 minutes. Transfer to a food processor and let cool. Add cheese and garlic and pulse until finely ground, about 1 minute. Add basil and place the top back on. With the motor running, add oil in a slow and steady stream until pesto is mostly smooth, with just a few flecks of green, about 1 minute. Season with salt.

Do Ahead: Pesto can be made 1 day ahead. Top with ½" oil to prevent browning. Store in a covered container (an extra drizzle of oil on top will help prevent oxidation) and chill.

Step 2

If you want to use this with pasta, cook 12 oz. dried pasta (we prefer long pasta for pesto) in a large pot of boiling salted water, stirring occasionally, until al dente. Drain, reserving ½ cup pasta cooking liquid.

Step 3

Place pesto and 2 Tbsp. unsalted butter, cut into pieces, in a large bowl. Add pasta and ¼ cup pasta cooking liquid. Using tongs, toss vigorously, adding more pasta cooking liquid if needed, until pasta is glossy and well coated with sauce. Season with salt.

Step 4

Divide pasta among bowls. Top with finely grated Parmesan.

Anise hyssop:

So fragrant! Bees love it! So beautiful! So productive! So medicinal! So delicious! The list goes on and on.  This herb, with a flavor of licorice-mint, steeps beautifully in hot water for a divine summer tea meant to ward off the expected Summer cold, and soothe the ever racing Summer brain.  

MEDICINAL PROPERTIES:

-alleviates fever and reduce bacterial and viral load in case of illness.  Anti-inflammatory

- soothing cough suppressant

- encourages relaxation

How to use

Teas: Add fresh Anise Hyssop to a jar and cover with boiling water. Eyeball 6-8 tablespoons of fresh herb per quart jar (including flowers!). Cover and let steep until cool enough to drink. Strain and drink, or cool and refrigerate to save for iced tea.

 Other: The leaves and flowers are edible. Add to savory or fruit salads, smoothies, or baking projects. 

 Garlic noodles (FROM THE OFFICIAL COOKBOOK OF SUMMER ‘21): 

BURMA SUPERSTAR: ADDICTIVE RECIPES FROM THE CROSSROADS OF SOUTHEAST ASIA by Desmond Tan and Kate Leahy

 ¼ cup canola oil

4 tblsp. minced garlic

¾ cup sliced red onion soaked in water and drained

2 tblsp. Soy sauce

½ cup sriracha

1 tblsp. Minced ginger

¼ teaspoon sugar

¼ teaspoon salt

2 tblsp. Water

12 ounces fresh wide wonton noodles or dried chinese wheat noodles

1 cucumber thinly sliced

3 green onions thinly sliced (sub in your onion tops!)

 In a small pot, heat the oil over medium heat.  Add 3 tablespoons of the garlic, set the heat to low, and fry, swirling the pot frequently, until the garlic is nearly golden in color, no more than 3 minutes.  (If the garlic starts to darken too quickly, pull the pot off the heat for 30 seconds before returning it to the heat).  Because the garlic can burn quickly, watch the pot the while time while the garlic fries.

 Immediately pour the oil into a heatproof bowl and let it cool.  The garlic will continue to cook and turn golden as it sits.  If the garlic is already golden brown before you take it off the heat and it looks like it might burn if left in the oil, all is not lost.  Pour the oil through a fine mesh strainer into a heatproof bowl to remove the garlic from the oil and stop it from cooking further.  Once the oil has cooled a bit, return the garlic to the oil.  

 Add the onions and soy sauce to the garlic.  

 In a small serving bowl, stir together the sriracha, the remaining 1 tablespoon of garlic, the ginger, sugar, salt, and water.

 Bring a pot of water to a boil.  Add the noodles and cook, stirring often with chopsticks, until nearly soft all the way through, about 4 minutes or until tender but still slightly chewy.  Drain in a colander and rinse briefly under cold water.  Give the colander a shake to remove excess water.  

 Return noodles to the pot. Pour in the garlic-soy sauce mixture and add the cucumbers.  Give the noodles a stir with a pair of tongs, then divide among bowls.  Top with “green onions”.  Serve with srircha

[sunmoonandeddie]

miss twenty something - july 29th, 2020

pairing: modern!bucky barnes x reader

word count: 63

summary: You’ve got a birthday resolution.  To write in your journal every day for a year.  Yeah, we’ll see how well that goes.

chapter warnings: Calorie counting, mention of alcohol

masterlist

a/n:  I played a drinking game with Alli tonight and oh my godddd

July 29th, 2020

Dear Someone,

It’s kinda hard seeing Bucky now.  I know what pain looks like.  I know why people drink.  But he’s not my responsibility, especially not after what happened.

1 cup cottage cheese - 222

2 tbsp peanut butter - 188

2 tbsp grape jelly - 100

1 piece bread - 79

12 oz black coffee - 4

2 tbsp coffee creamer - 70

Total: 663

[papermoonloveslucy]

LUCILLE BALL CHATS ABOUT CHRISTMAS DINNERS

December 12, 1971

Lucille Ball, in conversation with Helen Dorsey for Family Weekly, a Sunday supplement.  

"Christmas Is for children, and it's not quite as much fun now that the children are grown up. We still enjoy Christmas though -- it's always been very important in our family."

“We all patterned ourselves from my grandmother Hunt [Flora Belle Orchutt Hunt. Lucille's maternal grandmother.] She was something special because she did everything: made all the presents, decorations for the tree and did all the cooking. There were always 16, 18 or 25 for Christmas dinner. It was real New England!”

"Grandmother Hunt was a real pioneer lady. She cooked everything, especially rhubarb pie, my grandfather's favorite. My grandparents raised and butchered their own hogs and raised chickens. We had a huge truck garden, and my grandmother canned everything from that garden.” 

"Traditionally, our Christmas feast was a big turkey with sage-pork dressing, cranberry sauce, two or three kinds of pie, puddings, biscuits, gravy, and maple syrup from our end of the country. (Lucille Ball spent much of her childhood in Celoron Village near Jamestown, N.Y.) I particularly remember her strawberry shortcake, hot biscuits with melted butter, strawberries canned fresh from the garden and real whipped cream. There were always walnuts grown on our trees.” 

“I lived with my grandparents as a child, my father was dead and my mother was working, my Granddaddy was our father. He was a very lighthearted, cute man, funny but very strict. He was a disciplinarian, but he loved vaudeville and loved to take us places. He taught us things like looking for mushrooms (which, incidentally, has to be taught), and fishing, swimming and tobogganing. He was a wood turner and would make all those things by hand--our doll furniture, playhouses and slides. He'd make sure we went roller skating and ice skating in the winter. We even fished through the ice in Chautauqua Lake for muskie, bass and perch.” 

"My mother's getting ready for Christmas now. She and my aunt Helen have been making persimmon cake at Christmas for years. I don't know where they got recipe - it's been in the family years. My mother gets the persimmons and lets them ripen, then starts baking the cakes early, wraps them, and gives them away as Christmas gifts. Mother also makes cranberry sauce. She makes it as many times a year she can get cranberries. We might have as many as 16 cans going around the family every year!” 

"My main role at Christmas is being Santa Claus. I usually start shopping early in September. I've got a lot of good help, too, from Wanda, my secretary. If I see something I like, she gets all the information, and we put in the orders early and try and get a head start. [Traditionally, Lucille sends out about 600 gifts to friends and crew who have worked with her over the years.]” 

"I don't know where we'll spending Christmas this year - maybe in Snowmass [her mountain ski retreat in Colorado] or little Lucy's new house. Her house is so adorable. I haven't heard her say what she plans cook for Christmas, but she's such a marvelous cook. She may try doing a turkey.” 

"I do most of my cooking Snowmass: New England boiled dinner: chicken, steaks, chops, brisket, or fresh fish we get up there. I cook big breakfasts, pancakes, ham and eggs or bacon. Altitude's supposed to make some difference in cooking if you go according to the book, but I found out that you don't have to make adjustments in recipes."

“A lot of funny things happen to me in the kitchen! Because I don't cook that often these days, it’s very difficult for me to time a dinner so everything gets out of the oven, off the stove and on the able at just the correct time. Or I’ll prepare a salad, fix the rest of the dinner and go back and find he salad still in the refrigerator. I've gone even farther than that. I once gave a dinner party for eight people and forgot to ask the people!" 

LUCILLE BALL'S CHRISTMAS PERSIMMON CAKE 

3 tbsps. butter 

2 cups sugar 

2 cups persimmon pulp 

2 cups chopped walnuts 

1 cup seedless raisins 

1 cup chopped dates 

1 tbsp. grate orange peel 

4 cups sifted cake flour t 

4 tsps. baking soda 

3 tsps. baking powder 

2 tsps. ground cinnamon 

1/2 tsp. ground cloves 

1/2 tsp. ground allspice 

1/2 tsp. ground nutmeg 

1 cup milk 

2 tsps. pure vanilla extract 

In a large mixing bowl cream butter with sugar. Add persimmon pulp, nuts, raisins, dates and orange peel; mix well. Sift flour with baking soda, baking powder and spices. Add flour mixture alternately with milk beginning and ending with flour. Stir in vanilla extract. Turn batter into 2 well-greased 9 x 5 x 3-inch loaf pans. Bake in a preheated 300° F. oven 1% hrs. (or until a cake tester inserted into center comes out dean.) Turn out onto wire rack and cool. Garnish, if desired, with glace fruits and nuts arranged in a row down the center of the cake. Yield: 2 loaf cakes 

FRESH CRANBERRY SAUCE 

1 Ib. fresh cranberries 

1 medium orange 

2 cups sugar 

Wash, remove stems from cranberries; dry well. Grind cranberries in food chopper set on medium setting. Quarter orange, remove seeds and grind peel and all with medium setting. Add the sugar. Mix all ingredients together well, chill in refrigerator 3 hrs. 

[squishymoth]

Moth’s and Lorelei’s Veggie or Vegan Sandwich Tips:

To preface this I’m kind of a picky eater, especially about textures. Most delis in my area's offerings for vegetarians are made up of various roasted veggies, avocado and cucumber, resulting in a very GOOPY unappetizing sandwich. 

I also don’t subscribe to the idea that vegetarians should only eat vegetables,  and that fake meats are all flavorless and pointless. Most of the tastiest vegetarian sandwiches I’ve had include fake meats.

Nothing I’ve written here is crazy insightful or revolutionary but if anything here helps someone make a tasty vegetarian or vegan sammy I will be happy.

Additions specifically written by my lovely girlfriend Lorelei are marked (L) for Luigi.

Sandwich thoughts below the cut!

Fake Meat:

I will start with the cheaper, easier to find fake meats. Good vege sandwiches should be accessible IMO. I believe these brands will be more widely available and you won’t have to go to a specialty health food store to find em.

Morning Star Farms Bacon:

The MSF bacon is salty and savory and can be as crispy or chewy as you like. Just cook it a couple minutes on either side in a dry non-stick pan. I’m not sure that it tastes exactly like bacon, but it’s strong point is that it has a good flavor all on its own which is what I think defines any good vege meat.

Morning Star Chik Patties:

A great chik’n patty if you are looking for a crispy chicken sandwich, easy to cook in the skillet or the microwave (both ways come out tasty and crispy). Overall Morning Star has good stuff and is widely available.

 Tofurkey: 

really succeeds at a lunch meat texture and has a subtle savory flavor that allows it to support other sandwich ingredients. 

 Fancier Fake Meats:

Green Slice Meatless Deli Slices:

(WARNING not all of them are vegan some use egg white) I’ve often wondered why there was no vege ham alternative, on a recent grocery run I discovered there was one! Green Slice’s applewood smoked slice (I have only tried this flavor, but I’m sure the others are also good) these have a lovely very meat-like texture and flavor. My only quibble is that they are very small and there aren’t that many.

Sweet Earth Facon:

This bacon smells amazing and tastes very bacony. It is cooked in oil, make sure to use paper towel to blot off extra oil.

Light Life Smoky Tempeh Bacon:

Tempeh itself gets a bad rap (you have to cook it in a very specific way), but honestly for sandwiches tempeh is not worth using unless its smokey tempeh bacon. It has a lovely flavor, but it is a very different experience to the other two facons in this list. Imagine it as the contrast between your typical everyday bacon and a thick cut, pepper corn encrusted, artisanal bacon. It is thicker and chewier, but has a delicious smoky sweet flavor.

Tofu:

Pan Seared Tofu:

Ok if you’re really not into fake meats or you just like tasty tofu here is a home made, very tasty, and pretty all purpose recipe for a tofu sandwich filling. This recipe is from The Pho Cookbook by Andrea Nguyen. Best part about it, no need to press! Cooking it in the pan before adding oil drives off water super well, and gives a really unique tenderness. We eat this on it’s own, it’s that good!

Ingredients: firm tofu, 1 TBSP neutral oil, 1 TBSP soy sauce (optional in this case if it doesn’t fit the VIBE of your sandwich, if you leave out the soy sauce make sure to compensate with other umami ingredients in the sandwich) 

Instruction: cut your tofu into desired shape (triangle or domino or whatever) put them in a DRY non stick pan, and drizzle with soy sauce on both sides (if desired, salt and pepper could also be used). 

Cook on medium without disturbing the pieces for ~5 mins. 

Drizzle with oil and then flip them, allow the second side to cook for ~5 mins.

To check if the second side is ready try shaking the pan a little, if the tofu moves you can flip. If they are not to your desired brownness flip again and allow to continue cooking until you are satisfied. You are looking for a mottled brown color.

Crispy Tofu:

If you are looking for a crispier tofu here is a homegrown method that I’ve learned through trial and error, also a great addition to spring rolls.

Ingredients: firm tofu, neutral oil, salt and pepper (any other seasoning you like). OPTIONAL: a sauce as in orange sauce, teriyaki, or even BBQ (never tried BBQ but it could work.)

Instructions:

Most important thing for crispy tofu is to drain and PRESS IT. I would press it for between 15-20 minutes. Either cut up your pieces to desired shape and size before pressing or press the whole block if you want to prepare a big portion.

After they are pressed and the moisture is removed, season your tofu. I’ve experimented with rolling tofu in cornstarch to add an extra crispiness but it should crisp up on its own. You may just sprinkle your desired seasoning on both sides as you like. 

In a non stick pan fry tofu on both sides in oil (enough to coat your pan) on medium high heat until golden brown and crispy. When cooking tofu I’ve heard it’s good to leave it undisturbed before flipping to prevent bits sticking to the bottom and preserve inner softness. Try shaking the pan, if the tofu moves a bit it is not going to stick to the pan and lose it’s crispy outer layer. When they are finished cooking set the tofu on a paper towel to remove any excess oil.

OPTIONAL: in the last minutes of cooking add a sauce of your choosing, flip the tofu to coat.

Fats:

Avocado:

Avocado is a great addition to almost any sandwich, especially if you are vegan or lactose intolerant. It can easily take the place of cheese or mayo in 99% of sandwiches.

Vegan Cheese:

My girlfriend has tried MANY vegan cheeses and has found all of them to be disappointing. So we have no recommendations for vegan cheese. 

Garlic Butter:

A tasty spread to up your sandwiches flavor. we don’t have a recipe with EXACT measurements, this is all to taste. This can be applied to any sandwich for extra flavor and fat.

Ingredients:

A couple spoonfuls of Butter/Vegan butter

1 small garlic clove (or garlic powder)

Black pepper

Italian herb blend (or pretty much any green herb, fresh or dried [dried preferred] will be tasty)

Honey (if vegan just leave out the honey)

Instructions: In a small bowl grate your garlic clove into the butter, add all other seasonings and the optional honey, and mix. Make sure and taste, if you find it under flavored add more of the flavor stuff, if it is overpowering add more butter (this can keep in the fridge if you end up with too much). Then just spread the desired amount on your toasted bread.

(L) Mayonnaise:

Ok listen, it's stinky. But so is almost every cheese. It adds more of a feeling than a flavor, the fattiness can really uplift a lot of sandwiches, especially with tomato. But, if you are opposed to mayo for whatever reason, avocado, cheese, even olive oil, will fill this role. (not sure about vegan mayos but it can't be that hard to nail right? (Moth does not endorse this pro mayo stance)

(L) Vegan/Dairy freeRanch:

I don’t like ranch, but this homemade stuff really justifies it. I used normal mayo but it should work with vegan mayo. This is a very loose recipe, so tweak it to what works for you

½ cup mayonnaise (egg or plant based)

½ a lemons worth of juice

¼ cup oat milk (soy and almond milk don't play nice with savory flavor)

1 tsp garlic powder

Salt and pepper to taste

1 tbsp fine chopped fresh dill (or dried, or any green herb0

Whisk the mayo, milk, and lemon together. Add your herbs, and let it sit in the fridge overnight

This is the most important step, this time allows the garlic powder to rehydrate and the herbs to steep that give the ranch its signature flavor. Ranch is basically garlic powder sauce.

I have not tested this ratio much (ok fine at all), so trust your gut! 

Also fun fact,  juice of 1 lemon + 1 cup of oat milk + time = 1 cup of vegan buttermilk!

MISC:

Deli dressing:

You can buy this bottled in store or make your own at home easily. It will add that deli je ne sais quoi to a sandwich. Works best on a simple sandwich that might otherwise be lacking in flavor.

Ingredients:

Olive oil 

Red wine vinegar (any vinegar should do TBH)

Italian seasoning (again some dried oregano or other similar dried herbs should be fine)

Salt and pepper

OPTIONAL: put some vinegar hot sauce (tapatio, cholula, taco bell packet, etc) in that bad boy.

Instructions: mix it UP. This is another recipe that I usually just measure out by eye and taste

Falafel: I am not very experienced in making falafel so I don’t have a recipe on hand, but they are yummy.

Sprouts: a welcome addition to almost any sandwich, earthy, light and crunchy. They are also really easy to grow in a jar at home.

Pickles: love these funny dudes, they don't play well with sweeter sandwiches though. Use your judgement.

Chips: put em in there, 12 year olds know what they're doing.  

Dutch Crunch: objectively the best sandwich bread. 

Coleslaw: if you dislike coleslaw maybe you’ve only had a mayo based one. The only good coleslaw is vinegar based. Thin sliced cabbage, olive oil, vinegar of choice, honey (or vegan alternative) a spoonful of grainy mustard and salt and pepper. Great on a chik’n based sandwich.

Vegetarian Sandwich Ideas:

I don’t really have anything ground breaking here but here are some of the tastiest sandwiches I’ve made. If for some reason you want to try making one of these you can add or leave off anything you like. Salt and pepper all your sandwiches. And add cheese to any if you eat cheese!

BLAT or BLA:

To start this off, I don’t like tomatoes in sandwiches, I know I’m not correct, but you can add tomatoes if you want.

Ingredients: 

Garlic butter

iceberg lettuce (or any lettuce)

avocado

facon (my fav is morning star farms, a fancier facon such as smoky tempeh bacon is also good but has a completely different flavor and texture)

tomatoes (optional because I do not like them)

(L) TOMATO TIP: salt and pepper your tomatoes and let them sit a moment, also if its not tomato season cherry tomatoes are ur best bet for a decent tomato from the store.

Orange Tofu Sandwich:

A note: feel free to substitute a different sauce or to omit sauce entirely. The pan seared tofu makes a good sandwich filling without any extra sauce.

 Ingredients: pan seared tofu, crispy tofu, or gardein orange chikn nuggets (these come with a packet of orange sauce)

Orange sauce

Iceberg lettuce (other lettuces or even finely chopped cabbage will be good as well)

Avocado

Thin sliced sweet or bell pepper 

(L) Fancy “Ham” on Rye:

Ingredients:

Rye bread The rye bread adds a lovely funky herby note to the entire experience. Its what makes it fancy.

Green Slice applewood smoked(or any You could use tofurkey, but honestly if you find it/afford it green slice has an amazing texture and deep flavor that tofurkey doesn't. This is a simple fancy sandwich, splurging is gonna go a long way here.

Garlic Honey butter

Iceberg Lettuce (again or any other lettuce, or a mix with arugula and spinach)

Optional mayo: (L) i adore mayonnaise on this kind of sandwich, it really lets the other flavors shine. I havent tried it with avocado, my gut says it wouldnt work as good but I’m not a cop put some on there avocado is yummy. 

Optional cheese a sharp cheddar or fancy gruyere. 

Crispy Chik’n Sandwich:

Ingredients:

Morning Star Chik Patty (spicy one if ur spicy)

Facon (strong recommendation for morning star on this one) 

Vinegary vegan coleslaw (or any lettuce iceberg is recommended and easier on the fly)

Dill pickles (pickles+crispy chicken very yummy, we specify it on this one because its almost necessary for a spicy sandwich.)

Condiments of choice (ketchup, BBQ, honey, hot sauce etc)

Deli Style Sandwich:

A really basic sandwich, add whatever other sandwich fixings you like.

Ingredients:

Tofurkey

Sprouts

Iceberg lettuce

Sandwich dressing

Avocado 

Pickle or Cucumber

[shefightslikeagirl]

TBT - Emilie Autumn’s MAD TEA PARTY, published in Orkus Magazine [No.1 | 2008].

For full transcribed recipes, read more, or visit our (new!) Asylum Bakery page.

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Highly Doubtful Teacake with Very Suspicious Creme

What makes this teacake so very “doubtful” is the addition of fresh lavender, the historical meaning for which is “distrust”. So be careful whom you share it with…

Teacake Ingredients: 1 cup milk 3 Tbsp. fresh chopped lavender flowers 2 cups all-purpose flower 1 ½ tsp. baking power ¼ tsp. salt 6 tbsp, butter, softened 1 cup sugar 2 large eggs

Grease and flour a loaf pan, and no, I won’t tell you what size because it won’t matter anyway. You’re going to use whatever pan you have, and I’m not holding that against you, I do the same. Half of my recipes were created entirely out of being on the road touring, and really needing to make tarts, but having not the proper equipment. Baking is an adventure, so do treat it as such.

In any case! After greasing and flouring, kindly preheat your oven to 325 degrees F. In a small saucepan, heat the milk, adding the chopped lavender and bring almost to a boil, then remove from heat and let steep until cool.

Sift flour, baking powder and salt together in a bowl. In another bowl, thrash the butter about until its light and creamy and gradually add sugar, then eggs, one at a time, thrashing even more until the whole mess is light and fluffy and much prettier than you ever imagined raw eggs ought to be. Add flour mixture and lavender milk alternating between each addition, and mix until batter is just blended, no longer.

Spoon the flowery goodness into your mystery loaf pan and bake four 50 minutes, or until a wooden skewer inserted in center comes out clean. Leave your cake to cool in the pan 5 minutes, then remove to a wire rack to cool. When completely cooled, dust with confectioners’ sugar and garnish with sprigs of fresh or candied lavender. If you don’t know how to candy lavender, then read ahead on the section on candying rose petals and you’ll get the idea. Serve with a dollop of Very Suspicious Creme.

- ♡ -

Creme Ingredients: 8 oz. cream cheese 1 Tbs. heavy cream ½ tsp. fresh chopped lavender flowers 3 tbs. confectioners’ sugar 1 tsp. pure vanilla extract

Blend the cream cheese with the heavy cream until smooth and fluffy. Add in the lavender, confectioners’ sugar, and vanilla, beating until silky and very suspicious looking. Serve with Teacakes of all sort, but especially highly doubtful ones.

- ♡ - 

TEA TIPS: When serving tea to your guests, be sure to present a variety of sugars. Piping tiny frosting flowers onto heart-shaped sugar lumps and displaying rock candy sugar in various colors will set your table sparkling! Save some for the rats…

♡ - ❤ - ♡ 

Cyanide Tea Scones with Clotted Cream

Ah, sweet cyanide…what can we say about cyanide? You surely know it’s historical impact as a popular ingredient of both murder and suicide. But did you know that cyanide is derived from almonds? Being my personal flavour, you’ll see a somewhat excessive if not altogether inappropriate use of it in the following recipes. And as for the clotted cream, well, that sounds bad enough. Doesn’t it?

Scone Ingredients: 4 cups all-purpose flour 4 tsp. baking powder ½ cup sugar 1 tsp. salt 8 Tbsp. very cold, unsalted butter, cut into ¼ inch cubes 1 cup milk 6 black teabags of the best quality you can find, I prefer Twinings 2 eggs, beaten ½ tsp. pure almond extract ½ cup sliced almonds 1 Tbsp. cream ¼ cup sugar ¼ cup finely chopped almonds

Preheat oven to 400°F. In a chilled glass bowl, sift together flour, baking powder, sugar and salt. Using your fingers if you know what you’re doing or a pastry blender if you don’t, cut in the bits of butter until the crumbly mess is the size of smallish bees. Set the bowl into you refrigerator or out in the snow while you carry on. In a small saucepan, bring milk almost to a boil. Add tea bags, cover, and brew 5 minutes. Remove tea bags and cool. Beat in the eggs, almond extract, and sliced almonds. Gradually add tea mixture to flour mixture, stirring until just combined, no more.

Turn dough out onto a floured baking sheet and pat into a circle. Slice the dough into 16 triangular wedges. Alternately you can use heart shaped baking pans like the one I used here. Either way, brush dough with cream and sprinkle generously with sugar and chopped almonds. Bake 20 minutes or until golden, always best to sit right by the oven the first few times you try out a new recipe just to verify that everything’s going along as it should. Your oven is a unique creature you really should get to know, because no two are alike. Once done, cool scones on a wire rack. Serve with The Asylum’s Own Clotted Cream. Makes 16 scones.

- ♡ - 

Clotted Cream Ingredients: ½ cup cold heavy cream 3 Tbsp. confectioner’s sugar ½ cup sour cream ¼ tsp. almond extract

In a chilled bowl, beat cream until stiff peaks form, and don’t think you can’t do this by hand, because you can. As the cream begins to stiffen up, sift in the confectioner’s sugar. Gently fold in the sour cream, and almond extract, and voila! Clots galore! Chill until use. This fluffy topping for scones and crumpets is also called “Devonshire Cream,“ but it doesn’t quite have the same ring to it…clots clots clots clotty clots…

♡ - ❤ - ♡

Marzipan Leeches & Plague Rats

Yes, more almonds…but that is hardly important when it is merely a delicious modeling tool for some truly gourmet bonbons. Marzipan rats will charm your guests, marzipan leeches will horrify them. Just let them wait until you’ve given them all names…

Ingredients: 1 package (8 oz.) Marzipan (baker’s almond paste, available everywhere) ¼ cup confectioner’s sugar 2 Tbsp. Amaretto liquer 1 tsp. unsweetened cocoa powder 1 thin-tipped paintbrush

To begin with, open your Marzipan and cover it with a damp cloth as it likes to dry out and then what have you got? Next, add a bit of the cocoa powder to a few drops of the liquer and mix it with the paintbrush, experimenting with ratios to achieve a palette of lovely browns that you can use to accent your rats and leeches. Sprinkle some sugar onto your hands and work surface and you’re ready to begin a life-changing adventure!

Leeches: Leeches can be sculptured in myriad ways, but I will explain my method as a mere example.

Roll a small ball of dough until it becomes a rope, then roll the rope between your hands until it is thinner at one end.

Curl the rope to make your leech, posing him in whatever manner you find suitable, keeping in mind his station and lineage.

Roll two tiny balls of dough for the eyes, and attach them to the top of your leech’s head, then make an indentation within each eye with a very small object.

After waiting at least 30 minutes to let the leeches dry, use your cocoa-liquer mixture to paint stripes and details onto your leech, and place him in a bonbon paper to be displayed proudly in your best leech jar.

Plague Rats:

Roll the rat’s body from a small ball of dough into an oval with one end pointed for the nose.

Roll two little dough bits into ear shapes and press them into the sides of your rat’s head in an appropriate spot.

Roll a thin snake of dough and attach to the rat’s body, curling it over his back for the tail.

Using the wooden end of your paintbrush, make the indentations for the eyes.

After waiting at least 30 minutes to let the rat dry, use your cocoa-liquer mixture to paint shadows and details onto your rat, and place him in a bonbon paper to be displayed proudly on your tea table.

♡ - ❤ - ♡

Cucumber Hatred Tea Sandwiches

If revenge is a dish best served cold, then this is the dish they were talking about. The Historical meaning of basil is ‘Hatred’ and these delicate finger sandwiches are loaded with it…who’s cool as a cucumber now?

Ingredients: 8 oz. cream cheese, softened 3 Tbsp. cream ½ tsp. salt ¼ tsp. black pepper 3 Tbsp. fresh chives, chopped 6 slices wheat bread 6 slices white bread 1 English (seedless) cucumber 1 Bushel of fresh basil leaves (approx. 24)

Beat together the cream cheese and cream until smooth. Add salt, pepper and chives, blending well. Spread 1 slice of wheat bread and one slice of white bread with cream cheese mixture. Arrange a layer of cucumber slices on the wheat bread and top with basil leaves. Place white bread slice on top and smash sandwich down ever so gently with a rolling pin. Trim crusts, and cut into triangles. Repeat with remaining bread to make 24 hate-filled sandwiches.

♡ - ❤ - ♡

Rose Petal Poison Sandwiches

Poison? Well, not if you go into your garden and pick yourself some fresh, chemical free petals. Otherwise, you’ll get sick and the sarcasm will be lost…

Ingredients: 6 oz. sweet butter packed in fresh rose petals overnight, softened ¼ cup confectioners’ sugar 1 cup fresh, clean rose petals (from your garden, pesticide-free) ½ sliced almonds 12 slices white bread

To assemble one sandwich, spread two slices of bread with rose scented butter. Sift sugar over buttered sides of bread. Arrange a layer of rose petals, followed by a layer of almonds. Top with the other slice of sugared, buttered bread, and press down with rolling pin. Trim crusts and cut into triangles, hearts, rounds to suit your fancy. Sift sugar over sandwiches and top each with a candied rose petal (petals dipped in beaten egg white and rolled in granulated sugar, then dried until crisp). Repeat with remaining ingredients to equal 24 sandwiches.

♡ - ❤ - ♡

Royally Mad Tea

A standard British Royal Tea is served witha  glass of champagne and one o’ sherry. Call me crazy, but for my Royally mad Tea, I prefer champagne and absinthe. 

I do hope your Tea Party was to die for.

From the Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls, - EA