#also can i just say i hate when recipes measure butter in cups instead of TBSP
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tried to avenge my earlier baking fail (the spicy banana saltloaf) by making a pinterest recipe of those cream cheese pumpkin muffins from starbucks from scratch including the pumpkin puree
dw i still fucked up the filling placement as you can see. but actually they still slap. so i win at baking again
come to my house and eat these
#ever.txt#also can i just say i hate when recipes measure butter in cups instead of TBSP#like i know what 12 tbsp of butter looks like#3/4 cups i always accidentally read as 3/4 stick#But with 12 TBSP i canât fuck up
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It's baking season and, as a person who bakes as a hobby, I wanna post some tips beyond the usual "Just use milk instead of water for boxed cake" tip that everyone seems to think is some big secret.
Get parchment paper. It's super useful for cooking, too, but trust me you will want it for baking. Unless specified, most recipes will assume you're using parchment paper. Things bake differently on parchment paper than foil, get the parchment paper. Also, you don't need to put anything on the parchment paper to prevent sticking.
I don't care what the box or recipe says when you are making brownies DO NOT GREASE YOUR PAN. What you are going to do is line it with parchment paper and leave about 2-3 inches of paper sticking above the top of the pan. Once they're all done, you simply grab the paper and lift it out of the pan.
Brownies will bake fine in a glass baking dish if that's all ya got, you don't have to have a brownie pan.
When you are measuring ingredients use dry measuring cups for dry ingredients and level the ingredients. If you do a heaping "cup" of flour you have measured more than a cup of flour.
FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS. This isn't cooking, this is baking. Doing things in the wrong way, wrong order, wrong amount will impact the final product in terms of texture and taste in big ways.
If you are baking some kind of pastry (pie, tart, etc.) And the pastry tops/edges are done but the center and filling are not, cover the top and/or edges with foil. This will prevent burning while the rest bakes.
Be patient when you are creaming butter and sugar. The creaming process has phases. First the butter just gets coated in sugar (popcorn phase), then it kinda starts to break down and mix (lumpy mashed potatoes phase), then it will be nice and smooth and properly creamed (creamy mashed potatoes phase). Be patient.
Cube your butter before you cream it, it will make your life easier.
Unless specified, bring eggs and butter to room temperature before you use them. It will affect the texture.
Use whole milk if you can, the recipe will likely assume you are and it's taking the fat content of the milk into consideration.
When adding the dry ingredients into the wet do it in portions. It will incorporate better and make less of a mess.
Folding â mixing. When you fold your dry ingredients into either whipped cream or egg whites, DO NOT MIX THEM. You are undoing all the work you just did. Instead, pour some of the dry ingredients in, use a spatula to cut down the center and fold it over onto itself. Look up a video if you need to. Do not overfold, either.
Use wooden spatulas instead of silicone. Maybe this is just personal preference, but silicone spatulas have never been good to me and I hate them. Wood is much kinder and can actually handle thicker doughs and batters.
If you are baking cookies that you need to roll out and cut (either with a knife or cookie cutter), please make sure you chill the dough before you cut it. Not only will it be easier to cut out, but chilled dough holds its shape and doesn't spread while baking.
If you are doing a one bowl recipe, where it specifically says to mix everything in a single bowl, mix between ingredients. For example, if you add the flour first then the cocoa powder, mix after you add the cocoa powder. If it says to add baking soda next, mix after you add the baking soda. If it doesn't specify an order in the directions, just go down the ingredient list. This ensures everything is fully incorporated into the dough/batter.
I have no clue if anyone will actually need these, but I think people get intimated by baking so they never try it. It's one of my favorite ways to destress and it's not that scary, there are just a lot of things that aren't common knowledge for people who don't bake. Just start with easy stuff and you'll be fine. Feel free to reblog with your own little tips and tricks.
#baking#baking tips#tips and tricks#ive decided to making bread and brownies this year because apparently i hate myself#ive only made this bread once before and it turned out okay but not quite there#let's hope round 2 goes better
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Baking! (Yuta x you)
a/n : heyyo itâs friday, letâs have some âmeâ time and enjoy some imagine with Yuta! Idea came from @yutahoes comment on previous post HOT PATCHED
warning : none! suggestive, how you ended up with a bun in the oven! (your beloved Nami), and of course 2020 was a baking year and I am more than willing to share you the recipe i am referring to for this story! DM me :D also i got a bit too carried away :) but itâs gonna be fun :D
tagging : @2-3-t-i @yutahoes @ailoveyuta
with that said.. enjoy your scene!Â
Ever since the pandemic started and staying at home becomes a mandatory rule, you and your fiance, Yuta have been trying to overcome boredom with all possibilities. On the first month of staying home, you two are very excited about having âleisureâ time while working at home. Both of you are delighted by the fact that you donât have to wake up early, drive in the busy streets, and you just have to slip into your proper clothes when there is a board meeting. Considering your job is a magazine editor, you have meetings but luckily not every day.
Second month, you start to do yoga and exercises with Yuta every time he is bored, and he has nothing to do. Well, his comeback is still in preparation, so he only comes for regular practice and always got home when your office hour ends.
Fourth months, you pick up a new hobby and because your magazine company needs to make a new fresh content that suits the situation, the team comes up with a baking page. You are assigned to make the content, including taking pictures and trying the recipes your team made. You also have to do the editing but thereâs help with that. You take the challenge, though you never bake before you see this as the perfect opportunity to start a new hobby. Things were great, the content is rising in demand since the world is baking suddenly! You got your raise and you enjoy doing this until your silly ass fell from challenging yourself to a wild yoga pose. You hurt your arms, they are a slightly fractured and you cannot make your baking content for the first three weeks of recovery, but you are so irritated to just stay in front of the laptop and watch your other friend make the pictures and cakes. So, when you can no longer hold yourself back, you plead the director board to give you back the baking section and they did love your job so you won the part back.
âYuta can you come home earlier today?â you question the man who already wears his mask and has his training bag ready on his shoulder.
âMe?? I guess Iâm done after lunch, I only have to practice singing today. Why?â he asks you back
You put on your sweetest smile âDonât you want to try baking? I need some help with the rubric.â
Yutaâs eyes twinkle, itâs been his wish to try baking but because of practice and the amount of tools to wash and lack of time he hasnât been able to do it. Now that you are offering him, he thinks he can seize the opportunity.
âOkay, Iâll try, who knows NCT will have a baking vlog after this, might flex about my skillsâ he smirks and you only grin at his cockiness.
âOkay, you can go.â You push him away after kissing his cheek and blushing when he winks at you and disappear behind the door.
Today you just have to wait for the team to send you the ingredients and recipes. You wonder what youâll bake today no, what Yuta will bake today.
He was lucky the baking procedure he has to do today is easy. Simple lemon cake and you manage to get good pictures of Yutaâs hands and the aesthetic bowls and whiskers. You manage to hold the camera with your stiff casted hand, but it works even when you look super silly.
âOh gosh! This is healing.â Yuta exclaims when his first cake comes out of the oven nicely and with a good aroma. You quickly take pictures and once itâs done, Yuta has already cut a slice and pops it into his mouth. âYummy, I am talented indeed.â He sounds so confident and you hate to admit, his cake is better than what you expect and knowing your husband, you know he wonât stop bragging about this, he might even go as far as trying more baking recipes.
--
Your nightmare comes true, once his promotional schedule with NCT is over, he comes home with a load of baking supplies.
âYuta, whatâs all of this?â you ask when you help him bring in bags of spices, butters, and decorating tools.
âMy promotional week is done and I have our well deserved rest! I am going to be productive and bake for you every day!â he smiles like a little kid who just get a chocolate and you canât say no to him.
âOh no, not every day Yuta!â you joke as you help him organize the spices into the kitchen racks.
He brought different types of flours and sugars, even bought yeast and baking sodas. Oh he really is planning to bake!
âWell, I have to finish some works have fun baking! Make sure you wear the apron and donât set the oven too high. Wash the bowls too okay.â You pat his long hair and skip into your room.
Yuta takes his time to shower, sing in the bathroom, check the internet for easy recipes and even compare recipes from different websites.
His choice finally is decided on the famous banana cake, it doesnât require mixer and he notices you have bananas at home.
âFlour, bananas, eggs, butterâŠâ he bends to take the things out and places them all on the counter. Next he brings out the bowls and whiskers and the rest of the stuffs he needs.
âOkay all set,â he rubs his hands and takes the apron you have. Yutaâs lucky he can use your apron well, (thanks to his small waist). âAnd where is it,â he walks to the living room to get his small rubber band and as he bites the rubber between his teeth you happen to leave your room to get some water.
âOh!â you exclaim when you see a hot scene reveling in your eyes. If you bring something, youâd drop it already.
There under the golden hours of the sun from the window, Yuta is tying his hair up and his lip bites is not helping you. Not to mention the apron fitting him well. You kinda regret not buying a âcuteâ apron.
âLet me help,â you grin when Yuta fails to tie his hair. Somewhat in the middle of tying his hair we was surprised to see you gawking at him. He blushes a little when you step closer and take his hair into one bundle and expertly you tie the band around it.
âThere you go! Neat and tidy.â You click your tongue and run a hand down his exposed biceps.
âYouâre teasing me, arenât you?â you playfully ask him this when you learn just how âdolledâ up he is. In your apron, smelling good, looking hot, and smirking.
âAs much as you want me to tease you, see that?â he points to the kitchen and you follow his finger direction âI am baking you cake.â
You lead him to the kitchen, cool yourself down with a glass of iced water and Yuta starts to busy himself with the recipes.
He starts by measuring the cups of flour, sugars, and spoons of cinnamon and baking soda.
You choose to observe him instead of coming back to your work. Youâre glad you have saved your works earlier and donât have to return for it.
Yuta looks super serious when he cracks the eggs and starts mixing them to the dry ingredients. You take note at how accurate he is, you learned about the small details about baking through your rubric.
âNeed help?â Â you ask when Yuta starts to whisk the mixture together. He brings his bowl to his waist and with his tilted head and angled hand, he starts whisking the batter.
You have to hold yourself back when you see how he looks delicious right now. With an apron, a tied hair, tongue sticking out of his lips from focusing, his flexed arm and how he smirks at you. Gosh heâs the real cake here! You wonder how will he react if you suddenly come and bite him there on his neck which is inviting you to bite a mark there. Hey mark!
âNo, I got this.â He winks at you and continues whisking the ingredients. Another minute passed by, he adds the mashed bananas and some cut apples for better taste. You focus on his actions but mostly enjoying the show he gives to you.
âYou look hot.â You blurt that out loud as you secretly eat the choco-chips he will add later. âYou think I look hot? You havenât seen me whisk a whipping cream or make a meringue!â Yuta says as h places the bowl down and begin doing the next step.
You lean over the counter, eager to see what he is doing next. âOkay, all set just add choco-chips and stir and pour to container.â He smiles nicely to you, expecting to get praises or just a satisfied face. But all Yuta sees is your side smirk.
Yuta can always read you like a book, so without losing his cool, he checks you up from head to toe. He notices how youâre not focusing on him, biting your lips, and your ears and cheeks are as red as strawberries right now!
He connects the dots in his head and snaps his finger in front of your face. You jump in surprise âWhat?â you yell, clearly annoyed that your fantasy session is destroyed.
âNo youâre staring at me too intensely! Stop it,â he acts like his innocence just got violated.
You click your tongue âYuta, blame yourself!â you pull your hair in despair when you feel your body heating up more and feel tingles slowly creeping up.
Yuta is ignoring you when he shows off his flexibility by bending forward to put his container in the oven. âAnd thatâs the right temperature, now we wait!â he tosses the mittens aside and leans his body to the table youâre seating at. He glances to the cup of water with only ice cubes left, he grabs it up and swirls it around before sipping the remaining drops.
âWhat are you looking at Princess?â his playful remarks are slipping from his lips. You bite your lips down and try to shake whatever idea you have in your head after seeing him drink the last drop of water like that is the best water in the world. His Adamâs apple bopping is not helping you at all, you lick your lips and lowkey will kill him for making this looks so yummy and advertise-able.
âNothinââ you lie though it is as clear as day that you are âeatingâ him in your mind.
âYou sure? You donât look like that.â He says and then knocking the glass to his lips to take the remaining ice cubes in his mouth.
You nod your head and turn redder if itâs possible. Dang Yuta is clearly teasing you and you love it. âI-â you canât stop your sentence for the next thing he does is taking your lips there with ice cubes in his mouth. The cold sensation wakes you up from your day dream and you press your hands over his trained arms. He passes the cube into your mouth and youâre surprised with this new sensation. Oh Yuta and his surprises!
He continues taking you there until thereâs no more cubes left and both of you are already breathing harder and the atmosphere has turn super hot. Next thing you know, youâre already on the sofa pinned down by Yuta as he teases you with butterfly kisses here and there.
âYuta-â Â you moan out his name when you have the chance, your hand pulls on his hair so he can stop kissing you for a while âYour cake.â You breathily remind him about the cake in the oven.
âHm? My timer hasnât gone off.â He ignores your attempt to stop taking you here.
âYou want this right? Or do you want to eat me instead? You really look desperate earlier.â He nuzzles into your neck and gives some generous kitten licks there.
âOh you were teasing me!â you defend yourself âAdmit it.â You push him away to see his eyes and get the truth out, but Yuta is Yuta and he always has his way of making you lost. âNo, I did not. You were this turned on by me, that you were having such sexy thoughts in the middle of the day.â His hand travels south and you already stifle a moan so he wonât be cocky about it.
He already plays with the hem of your pants, only seconds to pulling them away and eating you raw there, but his timer goes off and he has the biggest grin on his face, while you the biggest disappointment. âYuta!â youâre already sounding so desperate, tears are forming in your eyes and Yuta only chuckles, he wipes your tears and stands up from between your legs.
âOops! My bad, cake is done! Why donât we try it when itâs hot?â he leaves you to turn the oven off and takes the cake out. He left you like that! All teased up and messy.
âYuta- you will pay for this.â You groan before ignoring the pain from the edged pleasure and stomping your feet angrily to the kitchen.
âCome try this, tell me if this is good.â He offers you a forkful and you angrily chomp down on it.
âBad.â You mutter, as you cross your hands over your chest but still chew on the delicious cake.
âBad? This is so yummy! I can take this to the boys, and theyâll ask for more.â Yuta towers above you.
You pout âFine, its yummy.â Your hand reaches out for some more bites, but you stop and shake your head âYou. Finish what you did to me, or I cannot enjoy my cake.â
He giggles and in one swift motion already has you in his arms âAlright my princess, let me enjoy my cake instead!â he brings you to the room and youâre already giggly again, giving him kisses and playing with his hair.
You swear you will kill him if he only leaves you in the room and goes back to eat his cake in the kitchen, lucky you he did not do that. You both know that the cake will be cold once youâre done with the session but who cares when Yuta can bake more of them!
ïżœïżœAnd that is probably how you end up putting a bun in the oven with Yuta!
fin.
#yuta x reader#yuta x you#yuta x y/n#yuta imagines#yuta scenarios#yuta fluff#yuta suggestive#yuta smut#yuta oneshot#yuta soft hours#yuta domestic fluff#domestic fluff#yuta#nct yuta scenarios#nct fluff#nct flirt line#nct yuta fluff#nakamoto yuta#nakamoto yuta x reader
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chocolate kisses - t.h
pairing: bestfriend!tom x youtuber!reader
words: 2.9k
warnings: none, just pure fluff
a/n: so... i did it again!!! i had this ideia after watching a video like this from one of my favorite youtubers. anyway, i really hope you guys enjoy and please do let me know what you think!! again, english is not my first language so thatâs that. thank you @definitely-not-black-cat for proofreading this, youâre the best and i love you đ enjoy!!!!!!
You adjusted the lenses of your camera one more time, making sure everything was ready to start recording. Since you started making videos for the internet and became a youtuber, you were practically obligated to learn about filmography. Sometimes you had your friend Harry around to help, since heâs a professional but today he got a job to do, so you were on your own. In fact, you had another Holland around, the oldest of them all and your best friend since you were kids, Tom.
Ever since you made your youtube channel, your viewers have been begging you to bring Tom to a video, so when the opportunity came, you finally asked him and he was more than happy to accept.
âYou ready?â You asked your brown haired friend.
âYep!â He said, making sure to really pop the âpâ, knowing you hated when he did that.
âTom, I was being serious earlier. I need you to behave!â You said, feeling like you were talking to a child instead of a 24 year old.
But that was the thing about your friendship with Tom, when you guys were together it felt like time hasnât passed at all and you were still two little kids, doing stupid things and constantly misbehaving.
âI got this! Donât worry!â Tom answered, a smile wide on his face.
âSaying not to worry actually makes me worry even more, you know?â You huffed, making sure the memory card was in.
âItâll be fine, y/n! I promise!â He said, looking at you with those big brown eyes that made you forget what you were even asking.
âOkay, Iâm going to start!â You told, seeing him clap his hands excitedly, but the years of friendship had taught you that this was just a thing he did when he was actually nervous. âAnd go!â You said, pressing the record button and joining your friend behind the kitchen island, where you had all the ingredients for the recipe already measured.
âHey everyone, welcome back to another video! This week we have another one of the baking series and if you couldnât already see, I have a guest with me today. Ladies and gentlemen, the star of the moment and my very own best friend, Tom Holland!â You said enthusiastically, while he observed you with a big smile on his face.
âHello everybody, Iâm Tom and Iâm really excited to be here today!â He said, giving a little wave at the camera.
âToday weâre making a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. This is one of my absolute favorites and itâs actually your momâs recipe, that she was kind enough to pass me so I could share it.â You explained, looking at your friend.
âI love this cake! Mum used to make it when we were kids but suddenly she stopped doing it, saying we were too grown up.â Tom pouted to the camera, making you laugh.
âWell, itâs your lucky day because weâre gonna start making it right now. You ready?â You asked, seeing him nod, looking at all the ingredients in front of him. âI know it seems like a lot but this cake itâs actually pretty easy and quick to make, just take a little while on the oven.â You explained, knowing he probably thought it was way too difficult for him to make a cake like that.
âGreat! Where do we start?â Tom said excitedly, which again made you laugh.
âOkay, the first step is always preheat your oven, in this case at 180 ÂșC, for at least fifteen minutes before putting the cakes in. Then we can start creaming together the butter and sugar. Iâm using a stand mixer today but you can totally use a hand one. Itâll work perfectly fine.â You said, pointing to the ingredients.
âThis is such a pretty mixer, y/n! I wonder who could have given you something like that.â The boy beside you pointed to your pink Kitchenaid with a smirk on his face. âIt was you, dumbass!â You said, shoving his shoulder.
âWow, Iâm such a good friend!â The smirk on his face grew even more, seeing you rolling your eyes at his antics. âCan you stop praising yourself and start making the cake?â You pleaded.
Tom nodded and after you told the camera the ingredients and correct measurements, he put them in the mixer, looking confused when he couldnât find the buttons.
âItâs on the side, Tom!â You told him with a laugh, showing exactly how to do it.
While the butter and sugar creamed together, you took the time to observe your friend, who seemed completely entertained with it. A couple minutes passed and when everything was looking good, you told him to stop the mixer, so you didnât have to shout at the camera.
âWhen you mix those two together, you can start adding your eggs, one at a time. Always remember to crack them on a separate bowl, to make sure you donât ruin your mixture with a bad one.â At that, Tomâs eyes light up, as if you had said the most clever thing in the world. âYou can turn the mixer on low while Iâm adding the eggs.â You instructed Tom, who nodded and made exactly that.
âThis is looking gross!â He said to you once he turned the mixer off.
âYeah, it does not look pretty when you put the eggs in but as soon as we put the flour, itâll all be fine.â You reassure him. âAlso, stopping the mixer and scraping down the sides of the bowl will help everything incorporate much better.â You advised, giving a pink rubber spatula to your friend, so he could do what you just said.
âStill look gross!â Tom scrunched his face, making you laugh.
âStop it, weâre going to add the rest of the ingredients now.â You scolded, which caused him to pout at you. âWeâre going to put 1 tablespoon of baking powder, 1 teaspoon of bicarb, a pinch of salt and 1 cup of cocoa powder into the flour and mix it really well before alternating this with the buttermilk. Got it?â You asked him, making sure he understood your instructions.
âSo, baking powder, bicarb, salt, cocoa powder, mixing really well.â He kept narrating his moves, which you found adorable.
âOkay, now we have to put the mixer on the lowest speed, otherwise weâll have flour everywhere. And donât look at me like that, we DO NOT want flour everywhere, Thomas!â The smirk plastered on his face was the same one of a child before doing something they shouldnât be doing.
âI swear I didnât think of doing that, y/n/n!â He stated, putting his arms up in surrender.
âYeah, right! Like I didnât know you for twenty four years.â You rolled your eyes, making him laugh.
Once he turned the machine back on, you slowly started to add the flour, followed by half of the buttermilk, more flour, more buttermilk and finally the rest of the dry mixture.
âPerfect! Now we can turn off the mixer and scrape the sides one more time, then turn back on for about a minute or so, just to make sure everything is really well combined.â You said smiling.
âThatâs it?â Tom asked, as soon as you took the bowl out of the mixer. âThatâs it, the batter is done! Easy, right?â You said and he nodded. âNow we can divide the batter into three separate pans that I already greased and lined with baking paper.â
âBaking paper?â He questioned, seemingly confused.
After explaining to him what baking paper was, you proceeded to put the batter equally into the pans.
Just as he was about to lick the spatula, you swatted his hand, making him wince. âDonât eat that!â You exclaimed. âWhy?â Tom asked.
âIt has raw eggs and flour. Itâs not safe!â You told him, sounding obvious. âFine, I wonât.â He promised, putting the bowl and spatula aside.
With the pans ready, you told the camera you were going to put them in the oven, for about 40min or until a toothpick came out clean. While you were away, Tom looked right at the camera and sneakily gave the spatula a good lick, scrunching his face at the taste of raw batter. When you came back, you rolled your eyes at your friend.
âWhat?â He questioned, trying not to sound guilty. âWas it good?â You asked him with a smirk.
âWhat?â He repeated himself. âThe batter, was it good?â You laughed, seeing him widen his eyes. âHow do you know?â He asked, confused.
âYou have some on your face, silly!â You said, throwing a towel at him. Tom flushed, feeling embarrassed for being caught. âIt wasnât even good!â Tom said, cleaning his face. âI told you!â You laugh at his scrunched face.
âOkay, now weâre going to clean this up and wait for the cakes to bake, then weâll come back and make the icing.â You told him, walking to the camera and stopping the filming. âYouâre such an idiot!â You tell your friend, making him laugh.
Even after you denied, Tom insisted on helping, but his help ended with him splashing and playing with water more than actually washing the dishes. When you finally got the kitchen cleaned, the timer of the oven went off, indicating the cakes were ready.
While the cakes cooled, you prepared the ingredients for the icing, which consisted in butter, icing sugar and melted chocolate. Once everything was ready, you joined Tom on the couch, where he scrolled through instagram on his phone.
âWhat are you looking at?â You asked plopping down next to him. âThe comments on my last post.â He said, looking at you.
âYeah? What is it?â You questioned, looking at your own phone, seeing a brand new notification. âIt was you.â Tom answered plainly.
âWhat?â You almost yelled, quickly clicking on the instagram app, where you found a picture of you taking the cakes out of the oven. âTom!â You exclaimed, sending an annoyed look at you friend.
âWhat? Everyoneâs saying you look good!â He told you, making you groan. âYeah, gorgeous!â You mocked.
âOh, thereâs one saying you have a great ass!â He smirked. âThomas!â You send him a reproving look. âNot my words, darling!â He shrugged, the smirk he wore growing even bigger.
âTheyâre also saying weâll make a cute couple.â Tom smiled, looking at you and catching your eye. âAs if, Holland! As if!â You mocked, getting up from the couch and making your way back to the kitchen to check your cakes, while his eyes stayed on your body.
âYou know what? They were right! You do have a great ass!â He smirked. âCan you stop being a flirt and help me finish this cake?â You asked, not believing the words that left his mouth.
Once your annoying friend joined you, you hit the play button again and started recording. âWeâre back!â You said enthusiastically. âWeâre back!â Tom repeated, making you laugh.
âOur cakes are baked and cooled, Iâve put them in the fridge now, just to make sure theyâre completely cold when we put the icing, which weâre going to start making now.â You said to the camera, followed by the ingredients and correct measurements. âOnce again, weâre using a stand mixer, but just as the cake, a hand mixer will also work. Now Tom, you can put the butter and sugar in the mixer, but be careful with the icing sugar, itâs very powdery and can go everywhere, so start at a lower speed and just go up when itâs fully incorporated.â You warned him.
âRight, boss!â He mocked, making you playfully hit his arm. âWhile you do this, Iâm going to melt the chocolate, okay?â You asked and he nodded.
Just as you turned around to put the bowl in the microwave, you heard your mixer going on full speed. The sight that greeted you once you turned back to your friend, was unbelievable. Tom was covered with powdered sugar, from head to toes, his curls where white with the powder and the look on his face was one of pure regret.
âIt really does go everywhere!â He said looking guilty.
âI canât believe it, how old are you? 5?â You rolled your eyes.
âIâm old enough to do this!â Tom said before jumping at you and wrapping his arms around your body. âTom!â You yelled, getting out of his grip.
âNow weâre equal!â The brunette winked, making your blood boil.
âYou idiot! You know weâre gonna have to clean this mess, right?â You questioned, shaking some of the icing sugar from your clothes.
âIt was worth it!â Tom laughed and hearing that sound made you chuckle too.
After a little bit of tidying up in the kitchen, you started recording again, this time hopeful that you could finally finish the cake.
âNow that the butter and sugar mixture is light and fluffy, we can add the melted chocolate and mix everything really well.â You informed, both Tom and the camera in front of you.
Tom helped you with the chocolate and after mixing the icing for a couple of minutes, you passed him a spatula to scrape the bowl and make sure everything was well combined. But, just as you were about to take the spatula back from his hands, he put it in his mouth, licking a stripe of the chocolate icing.
âTom!!! Not the spatula that youâre mixing the frosting!!!â You yelled, seeing him roll his eyes. âWhy not?â Asked the brunette.
âIâm going to eat that cake too!â You exclaimed, sounding obvious. âOh, câmon! Itâs not like we never shared saliva before.â Tom smirked.
âYou know Iâm gonna have to cut this part off of the video, right?â You questioned, shaking your head at his cockiness. âWhy?â He insisted, not taking that stupidly handsome smirk out of his face.
âYour fans already think that weâre a couple, they donât need to know that we drunk kissed at my twentieth birthday party.â You stated, shaking your head to try and get rid of the memorie.
âWhatever, I think they would like it!â Tom winked, giving the spatula another lick. âOh, they sure would!â You said, taking the object out of his hands and putting in the sink.
Back to the recipe, Tom helped you put the icing stuff away and bring the now cooled cakes, a knife, a cake stand and of course, a clean spatula to start icing it.
âNow with a clean spatulaâŠâ You said, glancing at your friend, that couldnât help but laugh.
After filling the cakes, you helped him spread more chocolate icing on the sides and the top, before putting some sprinkles.
âItâs finished!â You screamed, making Tom laugh. âIt looks really good. Can we eat?â He asked with hopeful eyes.
âWait! I have to take some pictures first!â You warned, before taking your camera and snapping a few shots of the finished cake.
Once you were done, you finally let him slice the cake, putting the piece on a plate for you guys to try. âThis cake itâs so good!â Tom moaned, taking another bite.
âItâs so moist and the icing is not too sweet. Itâs just⊠perfect!â You agreed, also going for another bite, but Tom was quick to playfully take the plate away from you.
âWell, that was it! I hope you guys like the recipe and try to make it at home because itâs delicious. Thank you again for joining me today and helping with the cake, Tom!â You smiled, looking at your friend.
âOf course, thank you for inviting me and you guys for requesting this video.â He said, smiling at the camera.
âDonât forget to subscribe and like this video, also leave your comments down below letting me know what other recipe you guys want me to make. Iâll see you next week. Bye!â You said waving at the camera, followed by Tom.
Once you finally finished recording, you and Tom got each one another piece of cake and went to sit on the sofa, where you eat it while watching some tv show.
Your attention was brought away from the show once you heard Tom lightly chuckled beside you.
âWhat?â You asked, already knowing he was up to something.
âYou have chocolate on your mouth.â He said, pointing at your face.
âOf course I have chocolate on my mouth, Iâm eating a freaking chocolate cake.â You rolled your eyes.
âNo, I mean⊠outside of your mouth. Here, let me help you.â Tom offered, getting face to face with you.
And of course, just when you thought he was going to clean your face and just forget about it, he surprises you once again, this time taking you by the neck and sealing your lips together.
You were so startled that your first instinct was to fight, but once you realized the familiarity of his lips, you relaxed and kissed him back. Unfortunately, it didnât last long but youâd be lying if you said it didnât leave you wanting more.
âIâm sorry, I shouldnât have done thisâŠâ Tom, being the gentleman he was, started to ramble and apologize for what he had done but you just rolled your eyes.
âJust shut up!â You smiled, leaning back in and kissing him again.
You knew that you two would have a lot to talk about after this but right now, all that you wanted were more of those chocolate kisses.
tagging some mutuals: @stuckonspidey @bi-writes @missnxthingg @peeterparkr @tomhollandthing @wazzupmrstark @screamholland @fallinfortom
#my writing#tom holland#tom holland fanfic#tom holland imagine#tom holland blurb#tom holland one shot#tom holland fic#tom holland au#tom holland x reader#tom holland x you#tom holland x y/n#tom holland writing
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Great Witcher Bake-off
https://archiveofourown.org/works/23908951
because thereâs no better way to say âi love youâ than to (not so) subtly suggest to get fat together
Itâs been weeks since quarantines and total lockdowns have been implemented all around the world, disturbing everyoneâs daily routines with ghastly news headlines. Households in the countryside and cities alike continued to mind their own business, but the prolonged isolation persuaded a vast number of citizens to rummage their minds for more ideas on how to make the most out of an unprecedented phenomenon.
There are wealthy individuals earning six figures and enjoying the nights swimming on their pools who thought singing will achieve world peace. Thereâs the common folk who are either working from home, or taking the time-off to practice meditation and self-care. There are also those who wish to have a magical glow-up after the quarantine and has long started to diet and exercise. However, there are still households who function on foodâmainly cooking and baking. Yes, baking.
And among those people are Jaskier and Geralt, with the former assisting the latter tie his apron.
Milk, yeast, salt, and other ingredients were laid out on the kitchen table. Bowls (a round metal helmet, according to Jaskier) and cups of assorted sizes sprawled across the granite countertops. A tea-stained book with pages dedicated to recipes was placed nearby; however, it was rarely used as one can simply look up online on guides for main dishes and desserts.
âAlright, Geralt,â Jaskier clapped his handsâhighly anticipating the chore, âWhatâs the most important ingredient in baking?â
Geralt sighed, âThe ingredients.â
âThatâs the second one! The most important is love.â
The taller one among the two no longer bothered to ask what mayhem did he get himself to. He chose Jaskier, after all. Instead, he opted to reorganize the clutter formed by the baking supplies.
âFor this afternoon, we will be making a soufflĂ©.â
âNo.â
Jaskier, though stunned at the sturdy answer, was optimistic nonetheless, âAnd why not?â
âWhy canât we just make a normal cheesecake?â Geralt retorted, âI will not beat egg yolks for 25 minutes just for your damned soufflĂ©.â
Then there was a short recollection back when they first attempted to create some meringue cookies. Their mechanical mixer was, in Geraltâs phrasing, not heavy-duty enough and it strangely heated up during the first seven minutes of beating the egg yolk. The remaining time was spent with Geralt manually doing the job.
âFine,â Jaskier responded, remembering how he hated having to wait for the egg soufflĂ©, âbut normal is boring. So, weâll go for a colorful and vibrant theme.â
In an instant, Jaskier poured a bunch of marshmallows on to the bowl.
âMarshmallows? Sweets? I donât trust this already,â Geraltâs eyelids closed.
âOh, shush.â
After adding butter, Jaskier placed the marshmallow to the microwave for two minutes, stirring the mixture before adding six cups of fruit cerealâthe whole ordeal making Geralt flinch.
âThis is a recipe for diabetes,â
Jaskier chuckled, âTrust me, even though youâre a sweet toothless creature, youâll love this,â
Geralt wasnât sure about loving the results. The process is bearable, however.
The marshmallow and fruit cereal mixture is then placed on a circular molder, acting as a base for the cake. Its surface was flattened using a measuring cup before it was set aside. What followed was cream cheese, lemon juice, heavy cream, vanilla extract, and more sugar. Jaskier tried to add another pinch, but was instantly blocked by Geralt. Â Â
âWeâll just freeze this for at least three hours, as we move on to another cheesecake recipe,â
Geralt groaned, taking the cheesecake to the freezer.
And the next recipe proved to be disgustingly sweeter.
A bigger batch of cream cheese was set to another bowl. A cup of sugar and a tablespoon of vanilla extract was poured instantly before being stirred. Warm milk and gelatin followed after.
âGeralt, bring out the ice cream wafer cones.â The said man complied without arguing.
Three smaller bowls were then sprawled on the countertop. Jaskier poured the mixture in each of them, and when Geralt returned, he tasked him to pour a pint of food coloring in each bowlâblue, purple, and pink. One color, one bowl, was his strict instruction.
âIt this supposed to be a flag?â Geralt asked, connecting the dots.
âUh, not intentionally? I donât mind the coincidence. Although, I intended to make a unicorn cheesecake.â
â⊠unicorn?â Disbelief clouded Geraltâs face, only to be met with Jaskierâs mischievous smile.
âDeal with it. This is your life with me now.â
Geralt wiped the beads of sweat that formed on his forehead, while on the other hand, Jaskier formed the base using graham crackers, butter, and sugar. The cream cheese mixture, now colored, was placed on the base on top of the base layer by layer. Jaskier then introduced the finishing touchâthe homemade unicorn horns. He dipped the ice cream cones on melted white chocolate, sprinkling its surface with blue and pink powdery edibles.
âWhy are you dumping everything?â
Earnest eyes gazed at Geralt, âYou can dump anything. Anything can be your dump,â
The taller one exhaled a heavy sigh, knowing he canât control everything. Everything was then placed into the freezer and the remaining hours was spent cleaning the kitchen, sweeping the floor, and putting the unused ingredients back to their assigned cabinets. Jaskier talked, hummed, and sang along the music playing on the radio, eradicating the silence an afternoon is most known for. Sometimes, heâd wiggle on the beat, encouraging Geralt to do the same, in which he would persistently resist until the last minute.
Then, the other would tell him that baking day is equivalent to Jaskier day, and it will require his cooperation, so he dances anyway. Geralt alleviates his embarrassment by swearing to give a strenuous workout regimen to Jaskier when itâs finally Geralt Day.
A few more hours pass by until the radiant one among the two drags the other to eat their most awaited cake.
âThere we go,â Jaskier takes one cake and hands Geralt the other, âour rainbow cereal cheesecake and unicorn cheesecake!â
Geralt huffs, âLooks like something you feed to little brats,â
Dinner time with these two closely resembled a childrenâs party instead, but itâs alright because thereâs no better way to say âI love youâ than to (not so) subtly suggest to get fat together.
#geraskier#geraskierfic#geraskier fic#oneshot#geralt x jaskier#geralt x julian#geralt x dandelion#the witcher#thewitcher#also on ao3#geralt wearing an apron is cute af#reminds me of napoleon solo uwu
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My Plan
The absolute biggest thing to keep in mind through all of this is that this is NOT a diet! This is not temporary and painful. Youâre not denying yourself things, donât tell yourself you âcanâtâ have a thing. Keep in mind that these are smarter permanent choices that youâre making and every time you put something in your mouth, youâre making the decision that itâs âworthâ the calories. The ONLY rule to weight loss is to burn more calories than youâre taking in, so you can adjust to whatever foods you need within moderation, donât treat this as torture.
Also, DO NOT weigh or measure yourself AT ALL until after the sixth month. Take all measurements before you start and then avoid it until then. Daily/weekly/monthly progress fluctuates too much and muscle weighs more than fat per square inch, so do not focus on numbers; nothing will de-motivate you quicker. Youâll be able to tell things are changing by how you feel and how your clothes fit.
First Two Weeks: -Make a list of all of the non-carby foods you like and wonât get sick of. There are many lists online to draw from. Donât worry, youâre not cutting all of the things out now; but the list will be helpful later. -Come up with three or four things you can make in bulk and freeze in baggies or containers (already cooked or ready to cook portions) for once weekly meal prep (helps when youâre busy or on the go - I use quiche/fritatta, chili, chicken stir fry, and pork chunks). -Do the same listing bulk things for the fridge that you can grab for snacks instead of snack foods (I use tuna salad, crack slaw, cheeses, lunch meats, and hard boiled eggs). -Cut out carbonated drinks. Even fat free, calorie, even sparkling water. Itâs not about that; they are stretching out your stomach with their bubbles, and making more room in there to convince you that you need more food in there to be full. -Cut back on sweets if you can. Have half of what you used to have. -Switch to five scheduled meals a day, one of which is a protein shake. SCHEDULED is important. Set alarms and just spend this time getting into the groove of five smaller meals instead of three larger ones. Donât worry too much about portions right now, however try not to ADD more food than what youâve been eating, just spread out what youâd normally have for the three and make sure one of the five is a shake. Any shake you like that has more than 10 grams of protein per serving. That extra protein will curb your hunger and get your levels up for when you start working out (donât panic, you can do this). Anyone on food stamps, be aware that if youâre getting your shake stuff on that, it has to be one that has a ânutritional factsâ label, NOT a âsupplementsâ label.
Second Two Weeks: -Replace a second meal with a shake. Any meal you like. At this point, youâre having two shakes and three smaller meals a day. Note that itâs different for everyone; no one can tell you how much to eat as it depends on what/how you were eating before. So donât stress about amounts. YOU know how much you were eating, so trust yourself and eat less than that per meal. Donât be worried, those two extra shakes a day will make a difference and you shouldnât need as much in the three meals. -Get into your meal prep and eating schedule routine; set one or two days a week when you cook and store food and by now you shouldnât need alarms as much for your meals.* *Amazon sells cheap little take-out storage containers, like 40 for $10 that can be frozen or refrigerated that have lasted me years that are âcorrectâ portion sizes (half cup). -Get moving. Weâre taking this slow, so donât push it, you donât want your body to get scared about whatâs happening. It will push back, but you got this! Pick any activity at all that will get your heart rate up for at least five minutes at a time, three times. This is called HIIT (high intensity interval training), and itâs the best way to work out as it maximizes your calories burned. Make a fun playlist on Spotify or whatever service, that gets you HYPE, and just go for it. -WATER WATER WATER. The more water you drink, the less hungry youâll be and the better youâll feel overall. Yes, itâs annoying to pee more, but even if youâre not taking in more fluids than before, at least replaces your sugary beverages with water. I HATED water when I started this, now Iâm addicted. We should be addicted! Trust me, your life will change with water. And a secret: Decaf coffee counts as water up to three cups a day! So enjoy that, but donât go over three, or youâll be worse off. -Cut out sugary coffees and juices. -Cut out the rest of your sweets (for now; theyâll be back once you have more self control on how much you have in one sitting. Better just not to have them in the house as a temptation).
Month Two: -Replace another meal with a shake or a protein bar. -Start focusing more on your portion control. By the end of the month, your goal is to be at a half cup per normal meal (2) and 8 fl oz shakes for the other three. -Stay on your eating schedule. -Time to up your activity! I know this is the part that sucks, but try to make it fun! Donât stick to the rigid guidelines of what people say is exercise. Make up your own. There are literally millions of videos online for every activity and any ability level. I am disabled, and I had to find things I could do with my limited mobility. If you have no equipment at all, you can things around the house! Or you can invest in an affordable resistance band set on Amazon. Try to do either 10 minutes three times or the five minutes 6 times. Either way, youâre doubling your activity. -No drinks except water. -No sweets or spreads. Time to drop that mayo, butter, BBQ sauce, etc. I know itâs tough, but you shouldnât need it anymore with all of the great recipes you have in your repertoire now.
Month Three: -Alright, time to crack down. You should be eating protein, veggies, and limited fruits only at this point. You should be feeling pretty satisfied with the two half cup meals and three protein shakes a day. You should only be drinking water, no other beverages. -Howâs that workout going? You should have been getting at least a half hour cumulatively of cardio every day and now you want to add some weight training if that wasnât what you were doing already. You want to look up âcoreâ exercises. Weâre not looking to get you âswoleâ or ripped. You donât need to work out all of your muscles. Youâre just looking to get your core strong. That will be the basis of all future workouts and it will make you feel better overall AND it will help to avoid any injury when you want to work out harder later.
Stick with this as long as you can; depending on how much weight you have to lose; and in a few months, youâll notice that unfortunately youâll plateau. This stall can last one month to many, and itâs the hardest part of this whole adventure. Youâll want to quit and give up and pig out. I PROMISE it will end and then youâll lose weight even quicker than you did before. If you want to jump-start the loss again, you may need to increase your workout and/or food intake again.
Lastly, just try to listen to your body! The society we live in has made that really difficult to do. Our whole lives weâve had to eat in the rush or âclean our plateâ or have our veggies... We donât really listen to our bodies anymore. Your body will tell you when you need certain foods and water. Donât assume that the more you eat, the less hungry youâll be after. You know from Asian food that thatâs not true. Protein, as a rule, will keep you fuller than carbs and sugars. Just try not to eat because you feel like you have to âfinish this servingâ. I did that for so long because I didnât want to waste food. Unfortunately you may waste food during this journey, but youâll come up with ways to store it and have it later and make adjustments as you go.
I lost 90 pounds this way over the course of 11 months. It feels slow, but think about how quickly a year actually goes by!
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Candy and Tradition
So, I decided to challenge myself to write and post 25 drabbles between now and Christmas. Here is the first (also, all the recipes listed are real things my family makes, so if you are curious about them, let me know and I can post some of them)!
For 90% of the year, Y/n was perfectly happy with her life in Seoul. While she did get a little bit homesick from time to time, her beautiful boyfriends made everything better on those days. Namjoon and Jungkook were the perfect mix of brains and brawn, art and sport, sweet and spicy, and kept life interesting enough that Y/n really didnât miss her home country. However, the 10% of the time where homesickness was paramount was the holiday season. Since she grew up in America, Y/nâs family all celebrated Thanksgiving, and sheâd grown used to not being able to do the same in Korea. Her family had never been traditional about the turkey and all the trimmings, so that part was easily displaced for Y/n. In fact, one year, her family had had a taco bar instead; however, the tradition that they kept without fail was that the entire family came together the Saturday after Thanksgiving to make homemade candy of all varieties. While other families baked Christmas cookies together, Y/nâs family spent 8-12 hours making all kinds of confections; if it wasnât nailed down, it got covered in chocolate that day.
Y/n usually would fly home for a few days to participate in the candy making festivities, but this year it just wasnât feasible due to her work schedule. Her family was okay with it, and her mom had promised to video call her so that she could see her nieces and nephews experience the day for the first time, but it just wasnât the same. So, when the week of Thanksgiving came, Namjoon and Jungkook noticed how upset she was becoming.
âHyung, we need to do something to help Noona. Sheâs so sad about not seeing her family,â Jungkook told Namjoon as he brought the elder a cup of coffee to his studio.
Namjoon accepted the steaming cup of coffee with a tender kiss to the youngerâs lips before speaking. âI know. Iâve been thinking about it all morning and I think I have a solution. What if we call and get some of Y/nâs favorite recipes from her mom and we have our own candy making day here in Seoul? We have this weekend off for a change, and maybe Jin-hyung would be okay with us taking over the kitchen for the day.â
âIâm sure he would because heâd get to eat some of the things we make,â Jungkook said thoughtfully. âWhen can we call for those recipes? It might be hard to get some of the ingredients so we might have to overnight them from online.â
âIâll reach out by text since itâs the middle of the night there. Maybe we can tell Y/n that we canât come over to her apartment tonight because something came up here, and we can stay late here and video chat her then.â
After getting a goodbye kiss for the road, Jungkook headed off to record some vocals for their new album. He felt a bit better now that he had a plan in place to cheer up their girlfriend, and he knew that sheâd love the surprise. Heâd loved Namjoon since he was 15 but was still amazed at how intuitive the man was and how quickly he could come up with a solution to nearly any problem. He trusted that Namjoon would let him know when their important call was, so he threw himself into his work to finish in plenty of time.
Y/nâs mother was a morning person and responded excitedly at 5 am her own time and scheduled a time to call the boys. They would call her at 10 pm KST; it would still be morning for Y/nâs mom, but it would give her time to get some recipes together. She wanted to scan them in and email them to Namjoon.
Jungkook knew that Namjoon would probably work on music right up until the call, so he called Y/n himself.
âHello, my Love!â she answered.
âHi Noona. Have you had a good day at work today?â he asked through the biggest smile. Just hearing her voice squeezed his heart in the best way.
âOh, you know. Itâs been work,â she giggled. âHave my amazing boyfriends been working hard?â
âYeah, we have. And thatâs part of why I called. Something has come up, and we wonât be able to come over tonight, Noona. We have to re-record all over our vocals for 3 songs. The computer they were on crashed and the vocals were lost, so we have to stay late to catch back up. I know you have to work tomorrow, and we donât want you to stay up too late waiting on us. I donât know what time we will be finished.â
Jungkook felt guilty lying to one of the loves of his life, but hopefully the surprise they were coordinating would make up for it. It tugged his heartstrings at the way she sounded so sad not to see them.
âIâm so sorry, Noona. We will make it up to you this weekend when we are off,â Jungkook promised.
After talking for a few more minutes, Jungkook made Y/n promise to text him when she got home safely after work so that he could order dinner to be delivered to her. Even if they werenât physically going to be there, he could make sure that she ate well. He pondered over their plan a bit more as he returned to Namjoonâs studio.
âI talked to Noona. I told her we had to re-record all the vocals for like 3 songs so we wouldnât be over. We should tell the others so if she asks they will play along until Saturday,â Jungkook told him. âI hated lying to her.â
âI know. I talked to her earlier today after we heard back from her mom, and I couldnât bring myself to tell her we couldnât come, so Iâm glad you did. When I tried, my voice just stopped,â Namjoon replied.
They curled up on the sofa in the studio and ordered dinner for themselves as well as dinner for Y/n once she arrived home. After they ate, Jungkook curled up into Namjoonâs arms for a bit, just loving the warmth and love radiating off of him. The recipes that Y/nâs mom had emailed came through, so they looked them over and started a grocery list. All the recipes had either standard names or weird Christmasy names; Jungkook didnât have any idea what the hell an Elf Bite was, but it sounded super good. Y/nâs mom called right on schedule and let them know that if they needed her to she could ship some of the ingredients that they might not be able to find in Korea from America. Namjoon pre-paid the postage for a package since they figured even sending a package second day from America would be expensive and since this was their idea, they wanted to cover the cost of everything.
âBoys, you have to have someone record her reaction to this for me please. I know we were a bit hesitant about your relationship at first, but Iâm so happy you found my little girl. You are both wonderful for her,â Y/nâs mom said to Namjoon and Jungkook before ending the call. âYou really do bring so much light and love into her world. Thank you for doing this for her.â
The next few days were a whirlwind as the boys worked hard and also spent a lot of time searching out the rest of the ingredients that they needed. Y/n mom had shipped nearly everything they needed for a few of the recipes, and with the help of some of the staff, they were able to get everything together. Jin helped hide everything in the dorm and was wholeheartedly supportive of their endeavor. So much so that he offered to help with the plan.
Namjoon and Jungkook were going to get everything out and get started on the peanut butter ball recipe that Y/nâs mom had sent. She had been very specific about how some of the ingredients couldnât be measured, but that Y/n would just know if it was right by taste. Jin was going to call Y/n at 6 am on Saturday morning and beg her to come over. He was going to say that he was trying to make waffles and he just couldnât figure out what was going wrong and beg her to come help him. Y/n loved to cook and to share her recipes with others, and this wouldnât be the first time that Jin called her at a random time of the day begging for her help in recreating something they had eaten in America. Hopefully, by the time Namjoon and Jungkook had stumbled through the first part of the unfamiliar recipe, Y/n would be there to make the special adjustments to make the recipe complete.
They had stayed at the dorm Friday night so that they would be in place to spring their surprise. Y/n had had to work late so it worked out all around. Once they had showered after dance practice that day, they curled up in Namjoonâs bed and facetimed their girl. She looked so sad and tired, but Jungkook hoped that the next day would lift some of that sadness. Jungkook slept wrapped around Namjoon, their bare chests pressed together, until their alarm went off. At 5 am, Namjoon and Jungkook were sleepily getting ready for their day. Jungkook felt like he had barely slept from his anxiety that they would fail at the surprise, but it was go time. Jungkook made coffee and a light breakfast for them while Namjoon got dressed.
Namjoon came down the hall with Seokjin following behind. They were talking quietly amongst themselves as Jungkook put eggs and toast onto 3 plates and poured three cups of coffee.
âAre you guys ready for this?â Jin asked between bites of eggs.
âYes, hyung,â Namjoon smiled softy. âCall our baby over.â
Nearly 30 minutes later, Y/n finally arrived. They had left the door unlocked so she could get in with no issues.
âJinnie?â she called softly as she removed her shoes.
âIn here, Y/n,â Jin called from the kitchen.
When Y/n rounded the corner into the kitchen, her mouth dropped open. Seokjin was standing against the back countertop with his phone raised, filming her reaction. Namjoon had both hands buried in a bowl, with powdered sugar streaked up his cheek. Jungkook was laughing as he stirred something in a bowl placed over a boiling pot while still watching Namjoon struggle.
âWeâre not making waffles, are we?â she finally gasped out.
Jungkook turned off the eye of the cooktop before coming over and wrapping her in his arms. âNo, Noona, weâre not making waffles. We know you were so sad you couldnât be with your family for making candy with them. So we talked to your mom, and brought candy making to you. Your mom even shipped some ingredients from America for us.â
âUmâŠmy loves, I hate to interrupt this beautiful moment, but I have no idea what Iâm doing. Please help me,â Namjoon whined.
After she finally recovered from the shock, Y/n jumped right into showing the loves of her life and her best friend how to make the recipe that her grandmother showed her how to make as a toddler. No one was surprise when Namjoon dropped the first peanut butter ball he dipped in melted chocolate onto the floor while Jungkook lived up to his golden maknae nickname by making a peanut butter ball that was perfectly dipped and looked better than Y/nâs example. As time went on, the other members started getting out of bed and following the smell of peanut butter and chocolate until the entire group was standing around in various states of dress, rolling dough into balls and dipping into chocolate. Even Yoongi got into it.
They made so many different recipes of candy. Y/nâs mom had sent over several different recipes: Mounds balls, peanut butter balls, peanut butter Elf Bites, Sâmores balls, chocolate covered pretzels, turtles, and peppermint bark. Half of the group was nearly sick from all the sugar, so they ordered pizza. Everyone else took turns in the shower while Y/n, Namjoon, and Jungkook curled up on the couch together. Y/n was sitting in Jungkookâs lap with her legs draped over Namjoonâs gorgeous thighs.
âThank you both so much for today. I canât explain how much this means to me,â she murmured to them through tears. âIt made me feel less like I was a thousand miles from my family. It was so amazing that you were able to make my familyâs recipes with me. Some time it would be amazing to merge the two, but even if that can never happen, I feel like it will be okay. The world wonât end if we start our own traditions here in Seoul.â
#bts fluff#bts fic#bts imagine#bts imagination#bts imagines#bts namkook#jungkook#namjoon#jeon jungkook#kim namjoon#bts poly#bts poly au#bts poly imagine#bts poly fanfic#bts christmas drabble#day 1
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Nervous Cooking: An Intro and How To
Hello there. Iâm a nervous cook. I hate wasting food. I donât like being bad at things. I have a very complicated relationship with food, thanks to an eating disorder.
In short, I often feel daunted in the kitchen, have felt that a lot of recipes gatekeep information and make it hard to me to feel like cooking is accessible and fun.
I like food. I love the idea of cooking. With the help of some nice people I know, Iâm making good progress into enjoying the kitchen, and playing around making things and swatting away the dreadful pretentiousness, snobbishness, and pomposity that sullies what is supposed to be a joyous, wholesome, and ultimately tasty activity.
So where to start? Before we get to sharing recipes, letâs have a breakdown of what weâre trying to do for ourselves, before we even turn the oven on.
How do we become less nervous in when cooking?
1. Put some music on.
Thereâs nothing as daunting as standing in your kitchen with a recipe open, feeling like youâre already set for failure before youâve even begun. So with that, put some good tunes on. You might have to turn the volume down occasionally as it is distracting you too much from the task at hand, but honestly, set yourself up for a good time.
Hall & Oates are great for making your meal with.
2. Read the recipe first. Maybe read it a few times.
Too often, Iâve started cooking and followed the recipe as a go, only to find that the person who wrote the recipe can smash out some sauce in 40 seconds while it takes me ages to do, while I burn my onions in the process.Â
Reading the recipe first enables you to plan for any tricky moments where you feel unsure, or indeed, helps you to work out how to re-word something that might confusing rather than having to translate it when youâre in the middle of cooking something.
Recently, I made something that said âadd 100ml of stockâ, which wasnât included in the recipe itself - reading it through before setting off meant that I didnât have a nervous breakdown halfway through.
3. Prep the ingredients
Foodies call it âmise en placeâ - donât worry about foreign phrases yet, we wonât be using them here and weâll probably do a translation of cooking terms at some point. These phrases are perfectly fine to use if you know what youâre doing, but of course, when youâre a nervous cook, your brain can go âAAAAAAAAAARGH I DONâT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS AND IâM ALREADY TALKING MYSELF OUT OF COOKING AND I MAY AS WELL JUST GO TO THE CHIPPIEâ.
Calm down. Itâs all good. Maybe weâll do a glossary of terms later, so we can understand what these people are talking about.
Donât worry. Mise en place basically means getting everything ready before you start, like they do on the telly. Youâve seen a TV chef saying âadd half a tablespoon of paprikaâ, and they just tip it out of a little bowl, rather than measuring out while the panâs on? Itâs that.
So, if youâre making a curry and the recipe says that 4 spices are all getting thrown in at the same time, then measure them out first, put it in a bowl, or a little glass dish youâve saved from when you ate a fancy yoghurt that came in a glass thing rather than a plastic pot, or even a cleaned out plastic yoghurt pot - it literally doesnât matter - you measure them out, throw them all into a thing, and when the time comes to add them to your cooking, you can lob them in the pan without thinking about it, because you did the groundwork before the stress of the timer.
And âmise en placeâ will not be used again on this blog, because thereâs no need really.
4. Convert American measurements in advance
If youâve found a recipe that looks ace on an American site, youâll soon find out they measure everything differently. They have a âcupsâ system. 1 cup is 128g or 4.5 oz.
If your scales are accurate enough to measure 128g exactly, go nuts. If not, take the time to find another recipe that has measured things out in a way that is more useful to you. If you have the money, have a look online and buy something cheap that measures out in American cups.Â
Just donât get caught on the hop while youâre in the middle of cooking your tea and get yourself worked up.
5. You can still eat a cock-up
American writer Hanif Abdurraqib said:Â âI'm not normally one for baking â I get that it is mostly all about the following of instructions, but I think that has always made the task more daunting for me and my many anxieties. If I failed, that failure would be speaking to some greater inability, or it might tell me something about myself. But, my anxieties, though busy as ever, aren't very interested in whether or not I fail at the moment. Also, I have such a low bar for edible desserts. Even a failed baked good is still a baked good worth consuming, in my home.â
Thatâs one of the golden things good cooks never share - even when you mess up, chances are, you can still eat it. Set your bar low. Donât tip it in the bin because youâve failed or because it looks like a mess.
I made a banoffee pie, and was worried I was going to balls it up, because Iâm rubbish at whisking. Talking to a very talented chef I know, she said âdonât bin it - mix it up and call it Banoffee Eton Mess style!â
That was a very important lesson to learn - if it doesnât work out perfectly, then re-brand the fucker and eat it anyway.
6. Follow good food people and ignore perfectionists if you want
A lot of broadsheet food writers and TV chefs are perfectionists, and donât share their mistakes. When they appear on TV, theyâre often berating some poor amateur cook for messing up their flans or whatever, because theyâve entered a talent show like Great British Bake Off, Masterchef, or whatever.
Ignore all that if you want, or if it puts pressure on you. Itâs just you in your kitchen, making something to eat. Doesnât matter if it looks like a road accident when you put it on your plate, as long as it tastes good.
Everyoneâs Instagram accounts only show you their successes, so you can write those off too, if theyâre doing your head in.
That said, thereâs good people out there who will show you short-cuts, things to not worry about, and enjoy food that looks like an absolute mess. David Chang is a good chef to follow - on his Instagram, he cooked chicken thighs in a plastic bag in the microwave âround his mums, and has a show called Ugly Delicious where the focus is about getting rid of the pointless rules and aesthetic bollocks that stops a lot of people from wanting to cook.
Brad Leone at Bon Appetite is another good egg - heâs very much a âbung it in, that should be alright shouldnât it?â type of cook. Very unpretentious. Good fun. Pronounces the word âwaterâ funnily.
7. Focus on flavour, not aesthetics
I talked to someone who knows a lot of professional chefs, and they told me the difference between restaurant food and what we cook at home is the delicious but disgusting amounts of salt and butter they put in everything. Like, youâll use a splodge of butter in your food, and a pro chef will stick a whole pack in.Â
Season the crap out of everything too. Keep tasting it as you go along - youâre not a pro kitchen who has to worry about sticking a spoon in your mouth and then returning it straight to the pan.
When a recipe says 2 cloves of garlic, and you know you love garlic, sod it, put 3 or 4 in.
If youâre nervous about making your food too salty, for example, then just follow the recipe to the letter, and then when you serve it up later, if it needs more, just whack a load on as a booster at the end. Itâs cool.
8. Donât worry about having loads of gear
You might read some recipes that ask you to pulverise something in a food processor and you might not have one. If you can afford the gear, fine, go wild. If not, see what the alternatives are. You might be able to do it by hand, or you might be able to cheat by buying some pre-mixed stuff. Cheating is good. Donât worry yourself.
If youâre bad at mincing garlic, just buy a tube of garlic paste. The only people who would judge that are terrible people, and terrible people donât deserve your cooking.
9. Worst case scenario
Youâve burned your food. Youâve used salt instead of sugar. The whole thing has gone so badly that it is inedible. You feel defeated and annoyed at yourself. You swear youâll never cook again.
Itâs okay to wallow for a bit, but remember this - if you angrily sling everything in the bin and walk to the chip shop or Maccies - a Big Mac or chips pie and gravy is still a 10 out of 10 meal to have. In terms of you eating, youâve not failed yourself.
Get stuck into your nuggets meal and enjoy them, and youâll remember to not put salt in, instead of sugar next time.
10. Give yourself a break
Chefs, foodies, and cooks often forget to tell you what it feels like to not know how to cook. That makes sense - theyâve been practising for ages.Theyâre at a certain level, and assume the person theyâre talking to is at a certain level too.Â
When they casually say âknock up a quick rouxâ and youâre not sure what a roux even is, thatâs okay - you can either stop listening to them, and watch a YouTube video about what a roux is, how to make one, and what theyâre for... or you can carry on watching your show and just have a holiday in someone elseâs good skills.
I can play guitar quite well, but I donât hear a blistering solo on a Steely Dan record and think âwell, I may as well throw my guitar into the streetâ - I can pootle along on mine, while enjoying someone else who is better at a thing than I am. Try and do the same with food shows. You can always turn them off if theyâre making you feel depressed - you donât owe anyone shit.
Remember how grateful you are when absolutely anyone else cooks for you and how you donât judge anyone elseâs food harshly, because youâre not an arsehole? Do the same for yourself.
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Over Biscuits
Happy birthday to one of my very favorite people, the amazing @aloemilk ! I feel so lucky to count you as a friend â€ïž I hope you enjoy this fluffy little fic!
Word Count: 2,075
Rating: K+
This can also be found on FFN (author: bowtruckles) and AO3 (author: remedialpotions)
***
Pausing in the doorway, Ron furrowed his brows at the scene developing before him. Hermione stood at the stove, her bushy hair just barely contained in a thick knot at the back of her head, gaze fixed intently on a saucepan. Not unsurprisingly - she was skilled at a great many things, but this really wasnât one of them - her face betrayed more stupefaction than sheâd ever displayed in Potions class. Given that this was his wheelhouse, he knew he should help her, but when she started nibbling on her lip, a flush rising in her cheeks from the heat emanating off the range, he thought there also wasnât much harm in allowing himself to watch her.
Just for a minute, anyway. He didnât see as much of her lately as he would have preferred, and it gave him a small glow of warmth, deep in the pit of his stomach, to see her standing in the kitchen of the Burrow, scowling at a recipe. Too many times over the past four months, he had thought the Christmas hols might never actually be upon them and that he would spend the whole of his life missing her, but she was home. For two glorious weeks, he had her all to himself, and he wasnât going to let any of it slip away.
He always loved watching her when she didnât know he was looking. Hermione was rarely vulnerable, but when it was just the two of them together, or he caught her in a moment when she thought she was alone, all of her pretenses fell away. She stopped being Hermione Granger, Head Girl and war hero and âbrightest witch of her ageâ, and simply became the woman that he loved - the one standing in his parentsâ kitchen with streaks of cinnamon across her cheeks.
âAfter melting butter on low heat,â Hermione was muttering to herself, eyes fixed on the stained and crumpled parchment before her, âstir in brown sugar, molasses, salt, and spices.â
She tugged a sack of brown sugar toward her, picked up a measuring cup, and dutifully dug it in.
âThere are spells for that, yâknow,â said Ron, opting to make his presence known and striding across the faded tile floor toward her. He plunked a tub of molasses down on the work surface and grinned at her.
âYes, well.â Hermione used the back of her wrist to push a rogue lock of hair out of her eyes. âIt never hurts to do things the Muggle way, does it?â
âNo, sâpose not.â Stepping behind her, Ron set his hands on her hips, his chin coming to rest on the fuzzy wool covering her shoulder. As she leaned back against him, one of her hands falling onto his, he peered into the saucepan. âEr - I should probably tell you-â
She craned her neck to meet his eyes. âOh no, what?â
âThe butter,â said Ron, wincing. âItâs a bit - er -overmelted.â
With a sorrowful glance down at the oily, golden-brown liquid in the pan, Hermione let out a sigh of resignation.
âYou can just say that I burned it, Ron.â
Suppressing a laugh, he pressed a firm kiss to her temple and tightened his arms around her waist. So many times over the past four months he had wanted to hold her, just to feel the warmth of her in his arms, and he wasnât about to take it for granted now. He only had a second to relish it, however, before she wriggled out of his embrace to retrieve her wand from the kitchen table. In the next instant, the burned butter had vanished from the pan, replaced by a fresh new block from the cooling cupboard. Instantly it began to sizzle and hiss against the scorching cast iron.
âOh, thatâs too hot, see?â Ron reached around Hermioneâs hip to dial down the flame. âIt isnât supposed to bubble like that.â
With her lips pursed tightly together, she glared at the butter as though it had committed a personal slight against her. She never did cope well with being less than the best at anything, even something as trivial as baking gingerbread biscuits.
âJust pretend that itâs Potions class,â he told her, wrapping one arm around her shoulders and using his free hand to gently stir the butter with a wooden spoon. âYouâre brilliant in Potions.â
âBut you hate Potions - and yet you like doing this-â
âYeah, well, this is better, it results in food,â he grinned. âAnd anyway, Potions was different, thereâs no way to like a class when you've got either Snape breathing down my neck, or Slughorn, who poisoned me and still couldnât remember my name-â
âTechnically it was Malfoy who poisoned you, not Slughorn-â
âStill,â argued Ron, that little spark inside of him igniting like it always did when they bickered back and forth, âyouâd think if someone nearly drops dead in your office, youâd-â
âOh, stop,â Hermione whined. The genuine anguish on her face was like a blade through his chest. âLetâs not talk about that anymore.â
âSorry.â He dropped a chaste kiss on her lips by way of apology. âLook, itâs really not a big deal,â he continued, deciding to pick up where she left off with the brown sugar. âWeâre only responsible for the entire pudding portion of Christmas Eve dinner, so no pressure - oi!â
For she had pinched him on the arm.
âThat isnât funny,â she moaned. Eyes closed, she leaned her cheek against his shoulder. âWhat if I end up ruining it-â
âYou wonât.â
âBut-â
âYou wonât,â he repeated gently. âWe - weâve had some pretty shit Christmases in our day, my family, but none of them have been completely ruined.â He quickly shoved away the thought that, in his eighteen years of life, no Christmas on record had ever followed events like that of the spring, and instead offered Hermione a smile. âItâd take a lot more than some botched gingerbread biscuits, I promise.â
She gave an relenting nod. âFine.â
Her fingers brushed his as she took the wooden spoon from him, stirring as he poured the brown sugar into the melting butter. There was still a streak of cinnamon across her cheekbone, and he wiped it softly away with the pad of his thumb.
Unbeknownst to Hermione, Ron had actually offered, in conversation with his father one Sunday evening, to make all of the Christmas puddings. It was the one part of the meal he felt he could successfully prepare, and while he wasnât naive enough to think that it would relieve the weight that had permanently settled onto his mumâs shoulders since the second of May, he felt it was the least he could do. He wasnât naive, but he also wasnât blind. He saw the weariness in her every time he and Harry visited for Sunday dinner, and as the pang of guilt shot through him, he would always promise himself he would do more, be there more. The only problem was that the Ministry of Magic seemed to think he had no life outside their intensive Auror Training program - and then George had asked him for help getting the shop back in order, and he couldnât say no to that - and heâd also been Apparating to Hogsmeade every chance he got-
Anyway, baking a few batches of biscuits and a treacle tart felt like the very least he could do.
A companionable silence fell between them as they continued to prepare the dough, punctuated only by the occasional shared kiss or murmured request for an ingredient. And Ron let himself pretend, just for a second, that perhaps this wasnât his parentsâ kitchen, but their own, and maybe they werenât baking for his family, but for their own children - and it was madness to think about, at eighteen, things like marriage and babies, but he couldnât stop himself. He looked at Hermione, and he saw the whole world before him.
âSo now,â he said, giving the sticky dough one last stir, his biceps sore from the effort, âthis has to cool for about an hour, then we bake it.â
âSo how do we spend our free hour?â asked Hermione, a sort of mischievous twinkle in her eye that made Ron deeply remorseful that his parents were in the next room. Kissing was one thing, but he definitely couldnât sneak her up to his room undetected.
âI - well - as great an idea as that is, I - I got you something,â he confessed.
He had never seen her look so indignant. âYou - but we promised-â
âI know, but it really isnât a gift - just stay here for a second, yeah?â
Before she could respond, he kissed her hastily on the forehead and darted out of the kitchen.
It had been a strategic move to stow this little token of affection in his former bedroom at the Burrow, knowing that he and Hermione would be spending a good portion of her Christmas hols there. And while he understood why they had agreed not to exchange gifts, given that neither of them had any income to speak of, he couldnât resist wanting to show her what she meant to him. He hoped this little item, silly and useless as it might have been, would maybe at least come close to doing that.
Her eyes were still shooting daggers at him when he returned to the kitchen.
âIf it helps, you donât have to think of it as a Christmas gift,â he said as he pressed the box into her hands. âItâs really just because I love you, anyway.â
At his words, her expression softened, and she leaned back against the work surface as she prised open the box; Ronâs stomach shook with nerves.
Gingerly, as though scared to harm it, Hermione pulled the little gold key from its bed of cotton with two fingers and looked expectantly up at Ron.
âItâs to Grimmauld Place,â he explained, though this did nothing to assuage the polite bewilderment on her face. âAnd I know what youâre thinking, that you donât need a key to get into Grimmauld Place, but itâs - yâknow, so that you know that itâs as much yours as it is mine or Harryâs.â
Her lips were on his before he could keep talking. Though he had more to say, he couldnât help leaning into it, forgetting everything but her and the taste of sugar on her lips.
âBut also,â he said around one last kiss, âitâs really mostly symbolic so it could also be for - for anywhere, really, that you and I might live together. Yâknow, in the future.â
As Ron watched, a series of emotions crossed over her face in rapid succession as she pieced his words together: confusion, surprise, happiness.
âSo you want to live together,â she stated as a smile split her face.
âI definitely donât want to live apart,â he assured her. âNot any longer than we have to, anyway. This is for later, by the way,â he felt compelled to clarify. âFor once youâre done at Hogwarts and youâve set the record for most NEWTs achieved by a single student or something-â
âStop-â
âI just mean,â he said, sobering a bit, âthat itâs there for you whenever youâre ready - if thatâs what you want-â
âOf course itâs what I want-â
âIâve completely bungled this up, havenât I?â said Ron, now a bit sheepish. âIt was supposed to be romantic-â
âAnd it was - oh, come here-â
And she grasped him by the ears and kissed him soundly on the lips. When she pulled back, her fingers remained plunged in his hair.
âYou still donât really get it, do you?â Her nails tickled down the nape of his neck. âI love you-â
âI know you do-â
âAnd I want all the same things that you want.â
He knew that. Of course he knew that. Two people couldnât share all that they had over the years without knowing, but she had never stated it quite so plainly before. It was something quite different to hear it aloud, to see their future etched more clearly before him.
âAll right,â he said, reaching up to take her wrists in his hands. âAll right, you decide, then. Wherever you want to live, whenever you want to live there - you just tell me and Iâll be there.â
âSounds perfect.â
âAnd in the meantime,â Ron said, giving her forearms a tender squeeze, âweâve got a treacle tart to make.â
#romione#romione fanfiction#ron weasley#hermione granger#romione fanfic#my writing#happy birthday! đ„ł#also I hope you know which part is inspired by a certain gif of harry and meghan#that may or may not have been my starting point#anyway LOVE YOU!#also lol at not being able to link anymore#I like my workaround
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Recipe 2: Best-Ever Blueberry Muffins
Resource: https://www.biggerbolderbaking.com/blueberry-muffins-best-ever/
Author: Gemma Stafford
Follow: Â Â Â Â Â Â Â
      YouTube: Bigger Bolder Baking       Â
      Instagram: @biggerbolderbaking            Â
               @gemma_stafford
I don't know about you guys, but blueberry muffins are my favorite type of muffins. They're soft, moist and chock full of antioxidants thanks to the blueberries, which, you gotta appreciate. Just between us, a little TMI, I also like to think of these as my period muffins. Why? Cause I have this bad habit of having a cup of coffee for breakfast every morning, and I'm trying to get better at having it every now and then. Plus, when I start my period, so does my "7-Day No Coffee Regiment", which allows me to get creative in the kitchen when thinking about what to have for breakfast. Thus, I sought out a blueberry muffin recipe to add to my arsenal. And if blueberry muffins are not your cup of tea, no worries, if you click on the link above there are plenty of breakfast ideas and then some. With that being said, let's get started!
Step One: Gather, Measure, Sort, Store, Preheat (GMSSP)
Gather: All of your ingredients, equipment and tools on your table top so you can see what you have, how much you have, and make note  of any grocery runs you'll need to make if your ingredients are running low.
Measure: Your ingredients before you start to mix anything together. I    recommend measuring the ingredients that require the most to the      least, so you could see if I have enough of each ingredient before you    begin baking.
Sort: Your ingredients across your table, so you can just grab one ingredient after another without thinking twice.
Store: Away your ingredients after you use them.
Preheat: Your oven to the temperature in the recipe
Step Two: Optional- Making the cinnamon crumb
Some of you may hate me for this, but I don't make the cinnamon crumb for this recipe. I'm more of a plain or sugar crystal type of gal. Call me lazy, an idiot, or even crazy for not making it without even trying it once, but sometimes a girl just wants a plain muffin top. Plus, my stomach is usually sensitive in the morning, so I can't really handle a big balanced meal like some, which is why I usually stick with coffee or a simple muffins.
Step Three: Batter Up!
Now mixing the batter is pretty self-explanatory, pour your wet ingredients into one bowl and your dry in another and combine each separately in their respective bowls. Then mingle them up into one bowl and mix them up until it forms a loose batter. Â And as the recipe says, don't overmix otherwise you'll work the gluten in the flour too much, resulting in a tougher muffin. Just a little baking science for ya!
Finally, you want to fold the blueberries in, which simply means combining ingredients gently together without vigorous stirring or whisking.
Step Four: Distribute the batter
After all of your ingredients got to know each other, now it's time to distribute the batter into your muffin or cupcake pan. Always remember to grease your tins with cooking spray or butter and flour before hand! Fill according to the recipe instructions, and if you went the extra mile and made the cinnamon crumb, go ahead and put as much as your heart desires. This is a Bigger Bolder Baking recipe after all, go big and go bold!
Step Five: Baking Time!
Bake according to the instructions. However, remember to bake at the bare minimum and constantly check on your baking. You never know if you'll need more or less time recommended. And don't go blaming your timer even if you do set it on the bare minimum and your muffins turn out burnt. You're the one in charge of your baking, the timer is just doing it's job of counting down the seconds you put on it. In my case, it only took about 30 minutes to bake, which is why I implore you to heed my warning.
 Step Six: Enjoy!
Once you've done the toothpick test several times through, and it does indeed come out clean or with a few dry crumbs, follow the recipe instructions and let them cool slightly. Though who am I kidding, we're bakers for crying out loud, it's our job to snack along the way and take the first bite to "see if it tastes good." Eat away my friends!
Sincerely,
The Amateur Baker â€
Results:
As expected, the muffins were moist, fruity and down right amazing, even without the cinnamon crumb. If you play your cards right, you could manage to make 12 muffins instead of 10. I don't know, maybe someday I'll get around to making the cinnamon crumb, then I'll have to bite my tongue and take back everything I said against it. But for now, a plain top muffin is all I need.
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I'm making spaghetti and GIANT ASS MEATBALLS for dinner so in honor of that, my birthday, and the exactly zero fucks I have left to give, here's my personal recipe for spaghetti and meatballs for any and all folks who want to do it. Please bear in mind that, while I find this recipe to be low-spoons for me personally, there are definitely steps in it that will not be for everyone. Plan accordingly. Ingredients: (this list has been severely edited because I am shit at writing down my recipes and I literally just wrote the steps and then came back here and added in the ingredients list because fuck if I know what I'm goddamn doing) ~2.5 pounds of ground beef - this recipe may sort of assume you, like me, live within reasonable transit of a wholesale butcher's where ground beef costs $14 for a five pound bag. The good news is that there will be enough leftovers from this to keep you in dinners for a week, so blowing your entire meat budget probably won't lead to protein deprivation later on. ~1 pound of SWEET ITALIAN SAUSAGE, GROUND - I cannot stress enough how important it is that you not just get plain ground sausage, although my dead great grandma and I would be fucking thrilled if you picked a spicy tomato sausage instead of the sweet. ~a handful of Italian herb mix - how much is a handful? Exactly as much as it takes to make a middle aged Sicilian woman ask "are you sure that's enough oregano?" Probably. Try like 3 table spoons at first and then next time adjust to your specific tastes. If you want hard mode, instead of buying the container of dried flakes labeled "Italian" or "provincial", then buy fresh rosemary, thyme, sweet oregano, basil, lavender, and get ready to grate a goddamn lemon peel over some minced garlic. ~4 to 6 eggs. Do you like your meatballs soft and just a little squishy? 6. Do you prefer them to be solid enough that they don't feel like the slimed underbelly of a frog with phlegm when you're shaping them? Maybe stick with 4. ~bread crumbs. I like the Italian seasoned ones. Because that middle aged Sicilian lady was right and you ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY did not put enough herb mix in there. ~any combination of the following four types of cheese in frankly unreasonable amounts: mozzarella, asiago, Parmesan, and Romano. Hard mode is to mix these grated monstrosities into the meatballs themselves. Easy mode says drop into your bowl after it's all been heated and prepped and fucking stir. ~2 pounds of noodles. You're feeding people for a week, shut up and make it 4 pounds. I like those cheap ass 2 lb boxes of elbow macaroni from Aldi's, but sometimes I splurge and buy the fancy spinach flour pasta or the fucking wheel noodles because I'm a goddamn child. Hard mode says to mix flour, water, eggs, and herb mix into dough, let rest for 24 hours in plastic wrap, and then roll, slice, and drop in the pot to cook for maybe 7 minutes but probably 5. ~a jar full of pasta noodle marinade. This means that you mix together garlic salt, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, lemon juice, and those little red pepper flakes they give you at pizza restaurants along with some fracked black pepper. Fill your pot with water, dump this in, and let it come to a rolling boil before you ever introduce noodle to wet, or my great grandmother's ghost will personally haunt you for exactly two days to tell you that your cooking tastes like sadness. There's a reason my mother never cooked pasta in my house and it's mostly because great grandma Josephine is a fucking irritation. If you want her to haunt you except to say nice things, you can use fresh garlic, kosher salt, sliced lemons and bell peppers dropped directly in the water, and a splash of red wine vinegar because Josephine was a bit of a lush. ~pasta sauce, at least 16 oz of it. The reason I know so much about Josephine is because I refuse to take the mother fucking time out of my day to personally crush the dozen tomatoes and two bulbs of garlic, dice a sweet onion, chop the flowering herbs, and layer in the white wine vinegar and chicken broth that she insists is the appropriate way to make sauce. Store bought costs like $8 for a week's worth on a fancy day and doesn't make my kitchen look like the scene of a grisly murder. I'm pretty sure she only haunts me for this out of spite and loneliness though, so you shouldn't need to worry and can just use storebought as well. The recipe itself is as follows: get a giant mixing bowl, crack in your eggs, whip with the herb mix, then dump in all the meat (and cheese if you took hard mode - Josephine is so proud of you) and the bread crumbs (which should be at a ratio of about 2:1 of meat:bread crumb) and just fold and squish. If you're like sane people and hate the feel of raw meat under your finger nails, I recommend dumping all this stuff into a giant plastic bag instead of a mixing bowl, sealing it tight, and just squishing it around a lot until the texture feels consistent. If you're like sane people except you have children who are constantly under foot and in your way, this is a great part of the recipe to let them do as long as either a) they're not four, or b) you don't mind losing some of the meat mix into the floor. Once your meat is mixed, scoop and shape chunks of it into lil balls. Or if you're like me and want to scare people, into something roughly the shape and size of 1.5 baseballs. I like this version because it means 1 meatball per meal per person is usually slightly pushing it, and since the recipe can make 20 of them....... well, portions are really easy to judge and it feeds a lot of people. Put these balls into one of two containers. Either an extremely large baking pan or a crock pot. Whichever cooking container you use, pour in enough sauce to basically cover the meatballs as if you were going to boil them in sauce. Because you are. If it's a crock pot, put on your lid, set on low, and let them slow cook all goddamn day while you're at work. If it's the baking dish, cover with tinfoil securely, preheat an oven to 400 degrees, and bake for about an hour and a half. Maybe two and a half if you made the baseball sized ones. Once you're mostly down cooking them (15-20 minutes left) you put a pot of water on to boil with your noodle marinade in it. When it reaches a rolling boil, drop in your pasta and cook to your preference. Strain the noodles and - this is absolutely fucking critical - rinse them with cold water (removes starch and prevents your leftovers from becoming a slimy block-o-noodles in their container) and put them into a giant bowl before tossing lightly with like a quarter cup of your noodle marinade. Hard mode involves putting some asparagus in a frying pan with steak seasoning, olive oil, balsamic vinegar and red wine vinegar, and a little butter until they're soft and a little seared to serve with the pasta. Once you're done, you put some noodles, a giant (or a few smaller) meatball(s) with some sauce, and a healthy amount of shredded cheese onto a plate, microwave it for about a minute to soften the cheese, and mix thoroughly. Then enjoy. This looks like a lot of steps. And it is. But it also typically only takes me 10-15 minutes of prep time and since the cooking is all done without needing attention (besides maybe stirring the noodles two times while they cook or flipping the asparagus during hard mode) I tend to find this to be one of the lower spoon feed-an-Army-and-pretend-you-slaved-for-hours-to-do-it recipes in my book. Hopefully it'll work for a lot of you all too. See you next time on the "I am the literal worst at measuring out ingredients and honestly you should just assume you haven't put in enough garlic" cooking show.
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Special - QUICHES
Hello! Thereâs been quite a long time since my last post, but thatâs because the semester finally started (delayed, due to some occupations that happened last year, of students trying to get the government to give up some real pretty bad reformations) and I havenât had the time to write anything since that. Even so, one of my friends moved in with me, and weâve been cooking almost everyday! Also, heâs way better than me when it comes to handling cameras and editing images, so the photographs might improve a bit too :P
Anyway, letâs get started! Iâll be describing three times I baked quiches and how the tries evolved. I also want to do something similar to brownies, but first, Iâve got to find all the recipes I used -and thereâs plenty.
First try:
Dough:
â> 150g of butter
â> Flour âas much as itâs necessaryâ (around 2 cups)
â> 1 pinch of salt
â> 2 spoonfuls of water
Filling:
â> 1 can of corn
â> 1 box/can of table cream
â> Âœ cup of creamy cheese
â> 1 garlic tooth
â> 2 eggs
â> 1+Âœ cup of shredded chicken
â> Mozarella cheese
â> Salt
This first version was made to be served on a dinner we had at a friendâs house (the same that now lives with me). It wasnât bad per se, just wasnât what I wanted.
The dough is a version of a dough used in pies (empadas, which google says are âpattyâ, but definitely are NOT), but itâs a butter-based, easily broken, melting dough, really good, but not what I was looking for. I had already made other dough like this, but didnât notice at the time.
(Empadas)
The seasoning of the fillig was kind of a problem too. Probably beacuse I used only salt and a little bit of garlic (I hate onions and one of my friends doesnât like garlic very much, so I reduced the quantity).
Also, the cheese didnât color (not that a pale cheese is less tasty, but itâs less pretty :P).
Second try:
Dough:
â> 1+Âœ cup of flour
â> 100g of butter
â> Âœ can of table cream without serum
â> 1 teaspoon of salt
â> 1 teaspoon of baking powder
This one I made at home, to eat alone. I donât have a blender, which would be necessary to make the corn cream from the first try, so I used the same filling as the pie cake from the last post: bechamel sauce and shredded chicken.
Remembering: with the chicken already cooked and shredded, make some bechamel sauce (donât even ask. I never measure anything here, so I still donât know how much I exactly do, and itâs always a struggle), season it and add the chicken & other complements (corn, peas, olives, whatever). I also added eggs here, to make the filling more consistent and quiche-like.
Again, the seasoning could be better (new series: everybody against seasoning!) (or maybe itâs just me #cry), but at least the dough was on point! Definitely better than the first one, more fitting for a quiche.
The cheese also didnât stick to its color, but I seems to be in a hurry to take it off the oven, and didnât let it color properly. Besides, I simply cut it in rough pieces, instead of grating it.
Third try:
Secondâs dough + Firstâs filling
Oh yeah! This was the quiche-supreme. I barely have anything to say about this one, as it was perfect! -I donât even have any complaints!
The dough turned out even better than the second, super soft and I used a different salt, with other spices on it (pepper, mainly), which gave it a great touch! Same goes to the filling, where I also used this different salt, and it even highlighted the cornâs flavor. Seasoning problem solved!
The cheese was also so beautifully colored! I made it for a dinner, just like the first and nothing remained.
After that, I repeated the last try in my parentsâ house, but we didnât have the special salt, so it wasnât SO good (and my momâs cake pan was really thin and the dough almost overcooked :/). Anyway, I donât even have any photographs of this try, so the third still counts as last :P
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