#like i know for me personally it's not quite the same and also i'm just not the same person when i speak my mother tongue
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Can you please make a muzan oneshot, smut with aftercare and muzan being alittle protective of m! Reader...
Thank you! <3
With pleasure I'll make this request! Take care💪🏼✨️👀
Also, I apologize for any errors in the text. I hope you will enjoy it.
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It was a day like any other, everyone looked the same. You, as a rank 0 higher moon demon, AND as the husband of the demon king, had a wide reputation among demons and humans alike. However, Muzan Kibutsuji didn't treat your strength like the others, he loved you too much to care if you were powerful enough. For him, you were and are his property, which he must protect against possible threats. Mainly rivals created by your handsome appearance. But who would dare to endanger the MUZAN himself? Probably just a real suicide.
Y/N was currently walking through the forest after mercilessly killing a man from the village he was passing by. As an Upper Moon demon, he must eat quite regularly in order for his strength to remain the same or even greater. Even if he sometimes has some signs of humanity in his heart, he still doesn't care much about this feeling. He had long since rid himself of the feeling of guilt in his soul, all in order to be able to kill more effectively and faster. He is about 600 years old, has adapted to living in the body of a creature and killing those who resist his actions. Y/N remembers almost nothing from his past, except for the feeling of weakness... his heart only remembers how he felt then, not what he was like and what his life was like, did he have a family? Did he have a wife and children? Was he someone important? Nothing. Emptiness.
While listening to the sounds of nature, he heard another sound, but of feet pattering behind him and then next to him. It was as if this person was fast enough to somehow teleport. Y/N looked at them, his c/e eyes meeting rainbow ones. It was none other than Doma, who no one likes because... he's the least bit annoying.
— Hello, Lord Y/N~! How is our handsome boy? — he asked with a practiced and false tone of joy, something that was probably the reason why no one liked him. Y/N remained unfazed by his presence, but he felt a certain irritation. Doma moved in on him far too many times, as if he wanted more than a punch to the jaw.
— How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that? Don't you have anything else to do? — he replied with a great show of dislike towards the demon next to him, looking at him out of the corner of his eye with his deadly gaze, which usually made every demon and human bend more than one knee. But not Doma, this type has too much of a disregard for other people's needs.
— Aww~ Ice cold as always, huh? I'm just trying to be nice to Muzan's lover~.... — he said. And his voice and facial expression were like a child who didn't get what he wanted.
—You'll be nice when you get out of here.— Y/N finally looking at the shorter man with his full perspective. However, instead of an answer, he received a kiss, which shocked him. He automatically pushed him away and punched him in the jaw hard enough to tear off half his face, staining his hands with blood. Doma looked at him with a strange look, maybe if his face was intact it would look better... The man smiled slyly as if he was proud of what he had done, lightly touching his newly regenerated jaw.
Muzan won't be happy with the fact that his "property" has been touched and Y/N knows it, which is why he felt a slight twinge in his stomach from the stress. Because he'll get hurt too.
—Who the fuck are you? — a deep and loud voice asked, while the sounds of limbs and bones being torn to shreds echoed throughout the room. The muzzled hand was tearing apart Doma's body, and Doma was not reacting much to any of these harms. The brunette's blood-red eyes scanned the demon in front of him, who was kneeling.
—How dare you disregard my order? How dare you TOUCH something that belongs to me? — he grabbed the blonde by the forehead, his claw drilling a hole in the skull. He then caused his cells to slowly melt Doma's body.
Upper Rank 2 began bleeding from the inside, choking on a red substance. Pulsating, almost purple veins appeared on his skin.
—I should kill you....But you are a useful demon because of your loyalty. However, one more move like that... and I will personally expose you to the sun.— Muzan threatened, letting his brother go free.
—Muzan....I'm sorry, honey. I had no way to react to protect myself from Doma's kiss... I didn't expect it. - you whispered, your voice sounding completely different because of the way the veins that carry Muzan's blood tightened around your weave. You were in a kneeling position in front of your husband, who was sitting on a chair, his chin resting on his hand and his eyes down on your apologetic form. He had you like this for a while now, letting his anger out on you.
—.....— Muzan closed his eyes and then stopped controlling his cells, letting you breathe. His gaze moved to the side, ignoring you. You could see from a mile away that he was still pissed at you.
The moment you gained access to breathing again, you gasped. Coughing heavily from the dryness in my throat and the lack of oxygen. But you didn't have time to feel sorry for yourself, you had to console Muzan somehow, before he will kill useful demons.
You stepped closer to Muzan, resting your head on his knee.
—I love you, you know?— you said, knowing that this sentence would calm Muzan down instantly. The man finally looked at you, his gaze still as cold as ice. But his eyes became less wild, clear evidence that he had calmed down. His hand gently grabbed your chin, stroking it lightly with his thumb.
— I know. I love you too, you're like a toxin that makes me sick. But it is also very....addictive.— Muzan pulls your body up by your hand, he also stood up. Making you both switch positions, where this time you are sitting and he is kneeling.
— However, I want you to make me realize this by fucking me.— he said with a smirk. His tone was seductive and his eyes were filled with lust and horniness. Your member twitch at that sight, you couldn't resist your husband's "request", when it was clearly what you desired too deep down. Before you answered, Muzan already was working your pants off, he rip them off to be honest. Exposing your big and hard length that he loves so much, his tongue licks his lower lip, getting ready to the delicious taste he will have on it by a few seconds.
He opens his lips wide, already trying to deepthroat your dick with his tight canal. Making you hiss from pleasure and tighten your grip on the chair, claws digging into the wooden furniture. Your King sucks every good spots, pulling away for a while to spit on your cock to make it more wet. His tongue lick your tip, kissing it passionately as if making out with it, before going back down to your shaft. Licking up and down, massaging your balls and squeezing them from time to time. Making your head be on cloud 9 and resisting the urge to fuck your husband's throat. He wets your cock so good that it made such a sloppy sounds that made Muzan's mind go crazy, he only wants you to rile him like the last whore and then shower with affection. That's why he grabbed roughly your wrist and put it on his head, signaling you to control his movements.
You didn't waste any time in making him choke and gag all over your large cock, you could feel his nails pressing into your skin on thighs from pleasure and the feeling of your rough treatment. The feeling of a colossal hand gripping his hair, that clearly belong to you made his own dick almost cream his pants from excitement. And when you finally came in his mouth, he swallowed it eagerly like a treasure. His lips all red and swollen from sucking and having his mouth filled with something so thick.
— Take my clothes off. Now.— he damanded, but his voice sounds so needy and almost desperate. While he tried to mask it by cleaning your dick off from the rest of cum. You pull him on your lap with one move of your arm, making him gasp a bit. Before you took off his whole clothes, your gaze fixed on his expression that showed a pure lust. Muzan's mouth instinctively wrap itself around your fingers, wetting them as if he knows by the look on your face what you want him to do.
— Good slut.— you said with a smirk and satisfaction, even if your husband doesn't seem to like this nickname. (He feels butterflies in his stomach but his mind refuse to accept it)
— I am NOT a slut.— he said with serious tone, sounding a bit stern.
— Then I'll have to prove you wrong. Cause sluts like you can take cocks like mine without preparation.— You said, making Muzan look at you in confusion and he understood in a second what you meant.
— Oi, no!— he tried to protest in panic, his eyes widen, a loud scream from pleasure and pain left his mouth as you slam your cock inside him with one, smooth move. You groan at the tightness around your cock, it almost felt like it's sucking you inside.
— Don't cry, honey... I know you like it. Good slut-husbands like you are experts in satisfing your beloved.— you whisper in his ear, wiping his tears off from his cheeks. You looked at his expression that was a mix of pleasure and pain, his teeth clenched from the feeling of you deep inside him, touching his prostate with the tip of your cock.
Muzan was quiet for a few seconds, before he chuckles from esctasy and his red eyes fixed on you. He tighten his gummy like walls around your member to tease you and motivate you into fucking him.
— Of course.....I'll take care of your crotch like a good husband slut.— Muzan's lips kissed your face, starting with you forehead and ending at your lips. He really do love you for agreeing for you to call him this way....
Next thing he knows was you making him bounce like a desperate bunny on your dick, making sloppy sounds from going in and out of his entrance. The sounds of his loud moaning, mewling and your grunts and groans spread all over his office. Muzan's hair were messy and wet from sweat. His eyes unfocused. His sharp nails digging intl your shoulders. His legs shaking. His walls clenched and unclenched from pleasure and overstimulation. You hit his prostate over and over again, making him wanna cry to heavens.... or to hell.
Suddenly, you stand up with him in your arms, surprising him a bit as he got placed on his desk with legs spread. His back met the surface of the wooden furniture, he pants like a dog as he watched you put his legs on your shoulders, making your balls made a contact with his ass. He whimpers from that feeling.
— Fuck me.....Fuck your slutty husband.....fill me with your hiers and have the satisfaction of owning the King of demons~— Muzan said with a smirk, chest going up and down from breathing hard. That words went straight to your cock, twitching inside your lover. Your gaze like a predator, as you move oncr again. Hips snapping back and forth hard and deep, as if you were seriously trying to make him pregnant or break. He grip onto the edges of his desk, almost destroying it with his demonic strength. The pre-cum made it easier for you to go in and out of his warm and wet ass. His entrance sucked you greedy in, as if not planning for you to leave it.
— Such a good slut for me, huh? Your tiny hole seems not to want me to let go.— you said between moans, rubbing his pale waist in your hands.
— Uh-huh.....Haah...haaah...haaah...Not let go....haah...HAAH....HAAHH...— he said dumbly, without thinking twice before saying it. Feeling stupid from esctasy.
Hours passed, it was already morning and you two only just done having sex. You slip your cock out of his hole, making the cum drip from Muzan's ass. You looked at your dear husband that you spent your whole life as a demon. Admiring his appearance that looked so messy. It's kinda sad that the marks you left regenerate faster than you blink...But you still felt satisfaction, because you owned THE Muzan Kibutsuji.
— Very well, Y/N......you kept me satisfy.— Kibutsuji said, his voice breathless but his gaze intense. He pulls you towards him with strong grip, making you lay on top of his body. Rubbing your back and head with his hand.
— But you have to make me a bath with rose petals.— he demand, looking down at you with a smile. You snuggle against his chest, squeezing his nipples between your fingers. Making him glare at you.
— Control yourself. I want bath.—
— Hehehe....— you laughed nervously.
#male reader#anime#gay#oneshot#request#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#muzan kibutsuji#kny muzan#rough kink#no prep#breeding k1nk#dom male reader#top male reader
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The Caged Bird Still Sings Part 12
Welcome to act 2. These are going to be a rough set of chapters for Steve. I hate to do it, but I've got to get him low, to have Eddie build him back up.
If you've been following along to WIP Wednesday, you'll know (or at least suspect) that I'm nearing the end of act 2 and the return of Eddie.
Then I'm not sure how much longer it's going to be. It could be a couple of chapters. But it might be several.
Here we have Jeff teasing Steve and Eddie. Steve decides to spend all his money on movies and popcorn, and at last a wild Birdie appears.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11
~
It took a month before Clint Harrington gave up on his crusade to chase his son out of town. That didn’t make Steve safe, per se, just safer. But he took what little comfort in that that he could.
The kids were jealous of the Sunbird, Mike finally admitting that yes, some mysterious benefactor had come in and swept Steve off his feet. He was a kept man.
Steve squirmed at the term. He was going to start looking for work. Just as soon as the dust settled. There was no point in looking when Clint Harrington was just going to come in and throw his weight around get him fired again.
Mike just rolled his eyes when he explained it to the kids, but Max was of the idea to milk for as much as it was worth.
“Seriously, Steve,” Max huffed, “if I could live in a hotel and swim whenever I wanted and order as much food as I wanted, I’d never want to leave.”
He scoffed. “That’s because you’re like ten and actually have friends your age or did you all forget that my dad chased all my friends off?”
“Ooh,” Lucas said clicking his tongue and shaking his head, “yeah, man. That’s rough. And it doesn’t help that this place has one movie theater, an arcade, and a handful of specialty shops none of which scream fun times for teenagers.”
“Yeah,” Will said from the couch, “Jonathan has been complaining about it all summer. There’s Bloomington or Indy, but considering you don’t know which direction your parents went, you’re pretty much stuck in Hell.”
Steve waved his hand at Will. “See? Will gets it.”
So all the kids got their heads together will Claudia and Joyce and tried to plot out something for Steve to do so that he wouldn’t have be staring at the same set of walls every day, no matter how gorgeous those walls happened to be.
Which is how Steve became cinaphile. He started just picking random movies to see at random times of the day during the week. His favorite time to go was Tuesday afternoons before the middle school got out. Not enough time for high school students to evade the place, but later than the moms taking their small children as a way to beat the summer heat.
It also allowed him to find new genres he liked and through all this Eddie stayed his constant phone companion. He loved listening to Steve talk about the plot and how hot the actors were. It was fun.
Steve was also starting to make friends with the rest of the band. He found out who the other person that picked up before thinking it was his phone that was ringing.
“Hey, is Eddie around?” Steve had asked, calling the mobile phone.
“He just stepped out for a minute but he’ll be right back,” the person said. “I’m Jeff by the way, I’m the one that picked up before.”
“Oh hello!” Steve said in surprise. “You’re the other guitarist, right?”
Jeff laughed. “Yeah that’s me. Thanks for not saying ‘the black one’ by the way.”
“Happens a lot?” he asked with a grimace.
“All the time,” Jeff deadpanned. “All the god damned time.”
“That must be shitty,” Steve commiserated. “I guess it’s not quite the same as saying the blond one or the tall one.”
“Yeaaaahhh, no,” Jeff said. “The other two are neutral attributes while being black carries a certain disdain to it.”
“One of the families I used to babysit before this all went to hell,” Steve said, “was a black family and I didn’t realize all the little shit they go through each day. All the snide remarks and sneering glances all the for the crime of existing in the grocery store.”
“Yeah,” Jeff agreed. “Oh wait, your lover boy is back. Hey Ed, it’s Steve.”
“Little Canary!” Eddie said excitedly upon being given the phone. “Jeff didn’t spill any of my secrets did he?”
Steve heard Jeff laugh in the background. “I didn’t know there were secrets he kept... I’m going to have to pump him for information next time.”
‘No, no, no,” Eddie whined. “Not allowed! Shoo Jeffy. Mine! Shoo!”
“Don’t worry, Eddie,” Steve giggled. “You can tell all your secrets yourself the next time you’re in Hawkins.”
“Yeah,” Eddie said softly. “I think I’d like that very much.”
“You’re just a gooey marshmallow, aren’t you?” Steve said with a giggle. “A perfectly roasted marshmallow. Hard on the outside, but all melty and gooey on the inside. Sweet and sticky.”
Eddie burst out laughing. “You really had me going there until the sticky part. Yeah, baby. I’ll be your marshmallow and you’ll be my little Canary.”
“Yeah, Eds,” Steve said, “I’d really like that.”
They talked for a little bit longer before Eddie hummed.
“Steve we have to talk about the last month of the tour,” he said seriously.
Steve’s blood froze in his veins. Eddie rarely called him ‘Steve’. It was a petname like baby, sweetheart, or honey, or little Canary, or maybe even Stevie. But never Steve. “Oh yeah? What about?”
“We’re going to be in Canada,” Eddie continued. “I’ll still be able to call, but only from hotel rooms. I don’t get good service there.”
The ice in his veins turned to lead in his stomach. “So while you’re on the road, you won’t be able to call me?” he asked, his voice small.
“Oh, little Canary,” Eddie said sympathetically. “I’ll try to call from payphones when we stop for gas, but yeah. It’ll be pretty sporadic. But I’ve gotten Chrissy to promise that she’ll take good care you.”
“She still doesn’t like, you know,” Steve said, “she thinks I’m distracting you from doing your job.”
“Which is fucking ridiculous,” Eddie assured him. “I shake my ass on stage and sing and play my heart out. I never skimp on that, and never walk out one meet and greets with the fans. It’s her job to worry, but it’s not your problem. It’s mine. Plus I have my little elf in play who will be plying you with as many little bird gifts I can find.”
Steve couldn’t help but smile at that. He had gotten in addition to the necklace that he only took off to shower, a couple of graphic t-shirts with canaries on them. A keychain as well as one with his name on it. Three little ceramic canaries and a glass one. All brought in by Eddie’s little elf.
“Yeah, okay,” he huffed. “I can’t wait to see what you come up with next.”
“Well, I’ve got to go, babe,” Eddie murmured, “I’ll talk to later. The change won’t happen right away, but I’ll tell you when the date gets closer, okay?”
“Roger that,” Steve said with a sigh of relief. Then they hung up and he flopped on the sofa like a fainting Victorian maiden. In a couple of weeks, he would go back to being as lonely as fuck.
He didn’t even know who the little elf was or why they never showed themselves. All though, knowing Eddie, it was probably just because he thought it was cute. Which it was. It was also a little on the creepy side. He had gotten to know the porters, bellboys, and cleaning staff very well, so he didn’t mind them coming in while he was out or even in the shower.
But a mysterious person whom he knew nothing about? Yeah that was a problem. He didn’t know if they were male or female, how old they were, were they friendly or just doing their job.
To say it drove Steve nuts would be an understatement.
It had been six weeks since his dad chucked him out for making out with Tommy on the sofa and all that time he hadn’t seen hide nor hair of the bastard or any of their friends. It was just then his luck ran out.
He had accidentally spilled almost his whole bottle of shampoo and had to go and get more. He spoke briefly to Joyce and chatted with her about Will and how Jonathan was adjusting to being newly graduated and turned around to run directly into someone.
“Shit!” Steve hissed as the basket he was carrying slammed into his stomach. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.”
He looked up, right into the green eyes and freckled face of Tommy Hagan.
“Steve!”
“Hey, Tommy,” Steve said with a fake smile. “How have you been?” The unasked question of ‘why did you leave me?’ hung in the air between them.
Tommy reached up and rubbed the material of Steve’s shirt between his finger and thumb. “That’s some pretty fancy new getup you’ve got there. Where you get the money for such nice things?”
Steve took a step back and crossed his arms. “I’m surviving. Like I always do.” He hated how he was already put on the defensive.
“Mhmm...” Tommy purred. “Pretty little slut like you, I bet you’ve got yourself a sugar daddy you’ve spread your legs for.”
Dread immediately pooled in Steve’s stomach. That wasn’t what Eddie was? Was he?
He smacked Tommy’s hand away. “Jealous that someone is fucking me better than you ever could? Maybe I have someone paying my bills or maybe I just have a trust fund. I’ll never tell you jack shit.”
The thing was is that he probably did have a trust fund. He just wouldn’t get it until he turned twenty-one. He had two years of running on empty he would have to do first. At least he had until Eddie came home anyway.
“No,” Tommy agreed, “you were always more of a screamer than a talker.”
Steve rolled his eyes and scoffed. “At least I didn’t run like a bitch when my parents walked in on us fucking. You find another dick to ride or did you go back to Carol like the coward you are?”
Tommy scowled. “You keep her name out your dirty mouth, Stevie boy. You don’t want to see what will happen if you don’t.”
“Yeah,” Steve said with a snort, “you’ll go running back to Daddy to protect you, like always do. Now pardon me, I have better things to do.” His eyes flicked over Tommy’s body. “If you hadn’t been the only option, I wouldn’t have picked you.”
He pushed passed him, bumping their shoulders together as he did.
He quickly bought what he needed and about as much junk food as he could get hands on. Joyce looked as though she wanted to ask if he was okay, so picked a different line to go though, hurrying out to his car. He looked around to make sure Tommy wasn’t waiting for him, but he didn’t see his car.
He drove back to the hotel, ready for a junk food night in front of the TV. He ordered room service and turned on the shower to wash off the slimy feeling of the interaction with Tommy. He had removed his shirt when he realized he had left the shampoo out there.
He opened the door and stopped in his tracks. Because there putting a couple of boxes on the end table was a girl with choppy blonde hair and boxy clothes. She was definitely not staff.
“So you’re my elf.”
~
Tag List: CLOSED
1- @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @beelze-the-bubkiss
2- @gregre369 @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system
3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog
4- @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji
5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon
6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman
7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth
8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @sticknpokelightningbolt
9- @scoops-aboy86 @kurofuckingshi16 @watermelonmite @eyehartart @dreamercec
10- @little-birch-boy @yearningagain @micheledawn1975 @blondie1006 @sadisticaltarts
#my writing#stranger things#steddie#ladykailtiha writes#age difference#ten years between steve and eddie
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This is in reference to this post
She didn't laugh at me, she was being entirely serious when she said that (1)
I have spent a decade working in medicine and am published in a peer reviewed neuroscience journal (2)
This was SO long ago, before tiktok EXISTED etc, this was before POTS was heard of online or even by most doctors etc. It wasn't taught in med school for most current doctors of the time. This online illness faker shit was not even a kmown phenomenon over a decade ago when this occurred, ESPECIALLY not with POTS. Which, yes, means "munchausen POTS" was simply not even a thing then (nor am I remotely convinced it is now). Can you even imagine how that shit has impacted people like me because of people like you?? (3)
I never said "I think I have POTS" bc I know most doctors' egos all too well and I'm not that stupid. I just told her my symptoms and what I had tried. Nothing more. She had never seen me before as my insurance had been changed so I had to switch, and spent mere minutes with me and refused to order any tests. I got my TTT with a competent doctor a month later. (4)
You are also pushing misinformation:
POTS is not easy to fake unless you (as the doctor) are a complete and total fucking moron. My TTT showed a >ONE HUNDRED BPM increase in heart rate. >100!!! you cannot simply fake that, and if your doctor has any doubts, it is very very easy to repeat the test - or the "poor man's tilt" version which any idiot can do with a simple BP cuff and chair & you can repeat that hundreds of times if you like. Good luck faking it every time. I've never once in my life, without medication, had a result under a 50bpm increase (those were my absolute best days). And I was a competitive rock climber and healthy, active, hydrated, well-rested person. To this day, my results are the same if there's a gap in my medication coverage (thank you USA healthcare!). But overall I don't think about it much anymore because ivabradine is so good at treating it for me.
POTS is *treated* not cured, and mine is pretty well treated will ivabradine (the changes you listed did not help much, I even had a personal trainer who was educated on POTS and related conditions & was drinking Normalyte all the time). *You* sound like a fraud, tbqh, as someone who is actually published and actually has devoted her life to medicine. You don't sound like you know fuckall, yet you poise yourself as if you were a medical professional here. I deeply hope that's not true.
You also, quite frankly, sound like a piece of shit, tbh. I know I am very lucky in terms of my POTS (and even my vEDS symptoms thus far), but the girl I knew whose nurse mother first tested me has not been so lucky. Both she and her sister have (genetically tested and confirmed) EDS from their father's side, and POTS as a byproduct. Her sister is a tough kid and doing alright for herself all things considered. But she is on disability and living at home, not able to work, because of the severity of her illnesses. If you were a real medical professional, you'd understand what a massive spectrum these conditions exist on.
If you ARE a real medical professional and are this ignorant and show this little compassion, I am begging you to either reup on your studies or quit. Someone should report you to the board xx
#really concerning behavior from anon if anon works in medicine#responded via screenshot of anon jic#mine#ask#anon#anon ask
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Son of divorce Rosquez AU. David has already confirmed to us that Valentino actually sent him a DM congratulating him and thanking him for the celebration. If that happened in the AU how would David feel? Because it has been quite private and hidden while, for example, a few weeks before he republished Alex Albon's (f1) helmet that he made in his honor. I'm between whether he would take it as a step forward or badly. I mean, in the sense that a stranger deserves that he make public his thanks but his own son can only have an MD?? Although an MD is also more personal. Idk. I feel that Marc, upon finding out, would also be conflicted, because its another way of not publicly recognizing David as his son but at the same time he has recognized his son even if it is in private.
Oh my god, Calia, I am so sorry that it took me an eternity to answer. I swear I didn't mean.
Thank you so much. I think you nailed it pretty good. Honestly, I think David would be pretty happy because he just wants to be aknowledged by his dad so he spents a good 10 minutes just jumping around and being happy. Sure, I think he'd be disappointed about not getting a public review like so many other did already but he knows the situation is complicated so he takes everything he can get and digs his claws in. I also think he wouldn't answer right away. I think he would tell Marc and Alex, maybe his grandparents and ask them what they think he should reply because he doesn't want to seen eager and annoy Vale. (Seeing how nervous and excited he is, breaks Marcs heart a little bit cause he is once again reminded that he is not David's everything. David still wants more. He still wants his other father even after everything Vale put him/ them through)
I'd say Marc is more concerned because he doesn't get what it means. Does Vale want to start making amends? Is this a way to get back in touch? Like an olive branch? And what does the 2nd part with the 'hope see each other soon' mean? Does he want to invite him to the ranch? Or is it all just publicity? He doesn't trust this whole thing. But it makes David happy so maybe it isn't that bad... Right? And Luca is at the ranch too. Luca surely influenced Vale. (he send him a text - yes, Luca helped Vale phrase the message and Uccio has no idea which calms Marc A LOT) So... Maybe it isn't as bad as he expected.
Nonetheless he can't know what will happen. He doesn't want David to get his hopes up too high. What if Vale was just being polite but didn't mean anything if it? What if this is a one off and then they'll never hear anything (good) from him again? What if this whole thing just ends up hurting his baby?
Oh yes he is very conflicted about this message.
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Selina's reaction to who's Nightwing after Bruce told her he is Batman.
Context: This is my version for this because I got the idea from when Black Cat found out Peter was a teenager and vomited. If she had an equally funny reaction in the comics that I should read that's good too
Bruce: Nightwing is Dick Grayson, who was also Robin… and he's my son.
Selina (surprised): Nightwing?
Bruce: Yep.
Selina: So the next thing you tell me after revealing you’re Bruce Wayne is that your son is Nightwing… and was your Robin?
Bruce (adding): The first Robin.
Selina's face turned pale the gulped.
Selina: He’s… your son and was the first Robin? Th- Th- the kid I met… that's Dick Grayson?
Bruce (nodding): Yep. Have you met him?
Bruce observed as Selina, usually so composed, locked up in shock. He remained stoic, knowing her reaction was a sign of just how blindsided she felt.
Selina: I have met that son of yours who was… Sweet Jesus, he was nine when we first met. Robin and Nightwing, the same person. Ha ha ha… I’ve met him. God, he was so… nice to me.
Selina recalled her flirty exchanges with Nightwing, completely oblivious to the significant age difference or the fact that he had been that sweet child she hugged when they first met. He had always turned her down, but back then, she’d just assumed he was being a prude.
Bruce: Mm-hm, he mentioned you two met when he was in his Nightwing suit… both versions. The popped collar one was a bit much, right?
Selina (shaking her knee nervously): Uh-huh... Oh God.
Bruce: What’s the issue? All he told me was that you guys talked, went on missions, yadda yadda.
Selina (laughing nervously): He said that? Well, that’s good. Is the son I met as a kid, who I saw again as… not quite a grown man in that tight blue and black suit… here right now?
Bruce (deadpan): He’s in the kitchen.
Selina (biting her fingernail): Okay, cool, cool, cool.
Bruce: I'm going to give you a moment to process all of this while I read.
He grabbed a magazine and began flipping through the pages, humming quietly while suppressing his laughter.
Bruce (teasingly): Oh, he was about seventeen when he became Nightwing. Not that it matters, but it’s a helpful fact.
Selina bowed her head, wrestling with whether to confess to Bruce.
Selina (whispering): Is this why I’m going to burn in hell?
Bruce: Is there something you want to tell me?
Selina (covering her blushing face with her hands): Bruce… I— I may have flirted with Nightwing a lot, thinking he wasn’t your son. And I thought—Oh God, how old was he again?
Bruce: He became Nightwing at seventeen. You definitely met him when he was eighteen, though.
Selina (groaning): I’m going to vomit.
Bruce (trying not to smile): This might not help, but your reaction is totally reasonable.
Selina: Oh, thanks. It doesn’t help that he was clearly uncomfortable with my advances. I’ve come to accept that I’m destined to burn in hell.
Bruce (comforting and not angry): No, that’s not going to happen. You’re having a good reaction, and it shows you weren’t aware. Plus, he told me you eventually stopped.
Selina (holding her head down): He told you how I actually acted, didn’t he?
Bruce: Yep… made it very clear that he was not a fan of it. I’m not mad, though; I’m actually enjoying this. Quick question—did you ever ask him to come over to your apartment?
Selina (blushing): I swear to God, I did not know! All he said was he knew you. If I had known his age, or that you were related— God, he was that cute little button— I sound like one of those creeps from TCAP.
Bruce: Selina, it’s not that bad. You’re showing guilt, and honestly, he did look older for his age.
Selina (covering her face in shame): I thought he was a prude! Yes, I stopped when he made it clear he wasn’t interested, but now I'm going to have to move.
Bruce: Or you could talk to him.
Selina: Nope, moving to Blüdhaven.
Bruce (chuckling softly): Dick lives in Blüdhaven.
Selina (gasping): Oh my God.
Bruce (reassuringly): He doesn’t hold any anger towards you. Just go talk to him.
Selina (lamenting): Okay, okay, remember when I thought you were a creep because you had a child sidekick? I look like one now.
Bruce: Ironic, isn’t it?
Selina groaned, leaving Bruce's office while angrily whispering to herself.
Selina (whispering): Great job, Catwoman. Flirt with him, that’s just what I do. I wasn’t aware he was your son.
Lost in her thoughts, she bumped into Dick, and their eyes met.
Selina: Oh hi, Nightwing, I mean Dick, I mean Richard— I mean���
She covered her face, overwhelmed.
Dick (nodding): I’m glad he told you.
Selina: I am terribly sorry for—
Dick: We don’t have to talk about it… ever.
Selina: Yes, but Bruce, Batman, your father… the man you fought crime with as a boy in that adorable hero suit. Oh God, I flirted with you so much, and I didn’t mean for it to go anywhere. I thought you were in your twenties at least.
Dick: Tsk, not sure if I should feel insulted that you thought I was in my 20s when I was 18. But either way, it's fine, I’m over it.
Selina: You have every right to be mad at me. Especially when you said it made you uncomfortable. I just— I never considered that you were that adorable little eight-year-old I met back in my early cat burglar days. I’m many things, but not a creep.
Dick (smiling): Selina, seriously, it’s fine. Sadly… I’ve dealt with worse. You eventually took the hint. When Bruce told me he revealed his identity to you, I was relieved he’d finally tell you who I was. It cleared up a lot of awkward tension that you weren’t aware of. How you’re reacting now is completely appropriate.
Selina: Your father, the man I'm dating, said the same thing. I’m not the type of woman who thinks a teenager is a viable partner. God, you were graduating high school at that time. You were a baby. Am I patronizing you again? Sorry.
Dick chuckled and patted Selina on the shoulder.
Dick: You kind of are, but it helps. You can see me as the adorable child I was and the charming man I am now. Remember, I’m Robin— I do flips and tricks.
Selina (lowering her hands): Yeah… you really are that precious little Robin I remember from back in the day.
Dick: Aww, thank you.
Selina (giggling): Awww, you’re still so cute. Thank you, Dick. Handshake?
Dick smiled and shook Selina’s hand, then walked past her towards Bruce's office.
Dick (over his shoulder): Oh, and Selina? Bruce definitely had you talk to me to embarrass us both.
Selina (sighing at the realization): That tracks… I need a drink.
Selina headed to the kitchen.
#selina kyle loves bruce's insane family#selina kyle#i think it's canon she flirted with him but I doubt she knew he was Robin lol#microfiction#flash fiction#batfamily comedy#batfamily#batman#batfamily chronicles#dick grayson#batfamily shenanigans#headcanon batfamily#batfamily headcanons#batfamily microseries#batfamily fanfiction#script fic#part of my batfamily microseries#batfamily funny#batfamily fluff#batfamily microfiction#batfamily chronicles microseries#nightwing#nightwing is the best#inspired by that one spiderman comic where Black Cat vomited on him#batfamily feels#batman and catwoman#part of my batfamily flash fiction#dc fanfiction#batfamily chronicles flash fiction#batfamily flash fiction
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I wonder what sort of role the members of 919 will be fulfilling in later books. Currently I'm thinking of Mahir, and how his linguist abilities might help with the mystery in Silverborn- maybe he might use his abilities to translate a message of some sort? I don't even know, I'm just excited to see more of the other members.
There is an interview or Q&A SOMEWHERE where Jess talks about how each book sort of focuses on or highlights a different 919 member. I feel like Wundersmith was Lam and Hollowpox was Anah.
I want to say that Silverborn will focus on Hawthorne since we know it’s going to explore the dragonriding world more, but I have two concerns:
1. The “HAWTHORNE??!?” redacted message makes me think something is going to happen to him, and some of the Neverfour emojis are giving hospital and “get well soon” vibes so he might be injured and I don’t know how much he’ll be around. He’s still going to feature somewhat we know though, because Jess mentioned how he was the funniest character to write for the book. His personal knowledgeof the dragonriding world might also be helpful if the “murder mystery” happens at a dragonriding tournament, which I think it will.
2. In the same vein, we know that Mog and Cadence “spend quite a lot of time together in this one out of necessity of the things that are happening in the book”. I am thinking that this means that they will be detectives together, investigating the mystery (mysteries!). If Hawthorne is out for the count, it makes sense that Mog would turn to Cadence for help.
So I don’t know who Silverborn will focus on and I am ready to be surprised. Same for all of the future books!
One idea for Mahir specifically could be related to that part in Hollowpox where Squall hijacks Mog’s powers and she finds it weird to “listen to her own voice speaking in tones and languages she’d never heard before”. IDK what that’s all about but as Mog continues her Wundersmith journey I think that is totally something Mahir can help her out with!
#nevermoor#asks#sorry I have a whole spreadsheet of every single interview and q&a that I need to put up on nevermoorsource#I would source the interview in question but I am working chronologically to transcribe things before I put them up#and I am being a little lazy about it because it is daunting#I am hard of hearing and she is a fast speaking australian lol#also a lot of early silverborn stuff is possibly lost media bc I wasn’t archiving things back then…… 😢#if you’re every curious abt things I reference in my posts that seem to have sources just ask btw#I love answering asks 👍 thank youuuu
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I am genuinely curious, what are some of the bad takes people have about the Constructicons outside of being misinformed or misleading about the [REDACTED] as you call it? I struggle to picture what those could even be! Just endlessly nitpicking the toys of them, or...?
*cracks fingers*
I'll try to be objective here and not fall into the helm of "personal preference".(even if the line is thin.)
First off, just so people know where I stand, when it comes to the Constructicons I always take their G1 appearances and bios as my reference, and so I always seek content that will somehow appease that "niche" (it's a niche nowadays.)
Sadly, there's no outside of the [REDACTED] ship, it is what people in general consider the law and it informs their view of all discussion around them. AND if it's not that godforsaken nightmare, it is the TFA characterization, which... Why? Can't we keep them as their own thing? Also goes a bit into toy territory, since I keep up with it (SADLY.)
So here's a short and sweet list of things I see on the regular, not a personal attack on anyone, and no strawman here, a reminder that I check their tags on most sites daily.
Constructicons are blue-collar workers: WHY? First off, just in TFA. In G1 they are quite CLEARLY engineers AKA white collar workers (workers in creative fields). Just lack of attention and most jokes involving them fall flat, because, it's not true! (Maybe the fact that they ALSO execute their projects may influence this take, but like, there are only 6 of them, so you can't do much).
The leader should be the guy who turns into the head: just vapid and unimaginative. I see this one at least once a month.
The Constructicons are oafs in one way or another: of all the explicitly incompetent and dumb characters in the cartoon, the Constructicons are not it (Again [REDACTED] ship and TFA.) Get another joke.
The Bayverse Constructicons are better and should be the default: oh yes, make the Constructicons a canonical conglomerate of interchangeable drones! YES! I'm a Bayverse apologist and enjoy ROTF Devastator, but PLEASE stop glazing the Bay Constructicons if you don't know the G1 ones, AND stop comparing both, THEY ARE TRYING DIFFERENT THINGS. (The studio series Devastator discussion is being and will be maddening, I will not survive.)
Construction vehicles are ginormous, and the scale is wrong: Please, American-brained individuals, remember that there are DIFFERENT types of vehicles and NOT every fucking construction vehicle is ten meters tall!! G1 Constructicons are SMALLER JAPANESE VEHICLES FROM THE 70's and 80's!
The Constructicons all look the same: Why are we still here? Just to suffer?/ref
Now, put this all in a loop and have fun being me!
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This popped up on my dash and since you said that the conversation is open, I thought I would share my two cents, even if it might be stuff you are already familiar with and do yourself. I don't think I'm in the same fandoms as you but things mentioned here are observations made from multiple fandoms. Although I have been writing in AO3 instead of tumblr for the most part, my experience here comes from writing almost exclusively Steve Rogers longfics (mostly 50k+ words, 10+ chapters) from 2021. I don't claim to be super popular - I'm just reflecting on the relative differencies I have noticed in my engagement.
First of all, please don't quit a series just because it has been over a month. That's not a long time for an update at all! If you're writing fic, it's something you do on your free time without getting paid, so there's absolutely no reason at all to apologize life getting in the way.
From my own experience, I have to agree with the consistency and speed of updates being pretty big factors on engagement. I have noticed most reader engagement when I have been able to push out one or more update a week for multiple weeks straight. It helps people stay engaged with the story and invested when the story is fresh in their minds. But then again, I have gotten a lot of comments when coming back from a hiatus too so I think it's not the only factor at all.
Writing a lot, even if it's not the same series, helps keep one's fics on people's minds, and helps establish you as someone who writes X character (with a certain kind of characterization). I share sneak peeks sometimes, but that's just because I am too impatient to wait, they're not from 'marketing' standpoint. Personally I try to focus on writing and let the writing itself do the rest, but I do make a point to reply to comments and thank people, even if that is sometimes very delayed, so that they know I appreciate them. I also don't talk badly about my own writing, because as a reader, seeing someone do that can very easily turn me off from reading their story. (To be clear, I don't mean venting about the human frustrations of writing but publically calling your own stories bad etc.)
One of the big things for me as a reader and a writer is having multiple storylines going and having 'hooks' in the story, so to speak, so that the readers know what they're looking forward to when the story continues. Cliffhangers are the ultimate form of this but things like a character uncovering a partial piece of information that raises questions work too. I spend a lot of time establishing chemistry, both romantic and platonic, so that the readers have something to root for.
Then again, engagement always depends on the story. Some things do better than others. Sometimes I think a fic is going to be well-liked and it doesn't get much attention, sometimes a thing I thought was just pure self-indulgence gains a lot of reader interaction. Which brings me to my next point - I think that the writer's enjoyment bleeds through the story to readers; things that I have enjoyed writing the most are my most popular fics. And sometimes when I think I'll write some easy 'trope soup' that'll get a lot of interest, it's crickets. I think there's a lesson there for me.
I try to engage with people and be a part of fandom beyond writing. I read and comment other people's fics, I reblog stuff, I talk about everyday things and try to stay active even when I have no capacity to write (happens to us all). It helps foster a sense of community, and while it's not self-serving and I read and comment out of genuine enjoyment, ultimately being active in fandom and engaging with writing helps us all. It does feel like current fandom population doesn't comment as much as they used to, which is a shame. But I try to be the change I want to see in the world.
It's also worth noting that sometimes there are these 'lulls' in fandom where everyone is sort of quiet and busy with life, I assume. Like major holidays. They just happen, and the season will change again. Also, scheduled reblogs and comment replies help reach different sets of people.
Finally, focusing too much on the stats is a thing that for me is a road to madness that sucks all enjoyment out of writing. It is human to want engagement and look at the pretty numbers but again, what matters is the enjoyment you get from a story. Personally I have written a 250k longfic in a tiny niché that was commented regularly by one single person and occasionally by about five people. And I still love that fic to death and am so proud of myself for writing it.
That's my two cents, from my personal experience. As always, they should be taken with a grain of salt, and they might not be universally applicable. I wish you the best with writing and hope that the muses are kind to you.
Writers of multi-chapter fics:
How do you keep your readers engaged as the story gets longer?
I've heard from many, and seen it myself, that interaction drops significantly as the chapters accumulate (which I honestly do not even understand...hence why I'm asking this) but I've also seen a lot of writers who have quite lengthy fics where the engagement and excitement seems to stay consistent throughout.
They're receiving asks with comments and questions about the latest chapters, the reblogs are abundant compared to likes, and I'm just curious if there's anything anyone does differently to help maintain this other than just being a great writer 🤣 (which I'm realizing is probably the key thing and that there's nothing to do other than just be able to write a really good story which I'm clearly not haaaaa)
I've tried sharing snippets of upcoming chapters in the past and they've always fallen on their face, I've released chapter playlists, etc so I feel like from a "marketing" standpoint I've done what I can? And also as writers we shouldn't even have to work that hard to "promote" our fics considering people ask to be on taglists and what have you. (This is the site for sharing and ACTIVELY participating in fandom...)
It's been a struggle to keep myself motivated to finish up my series and I'm starting to wonder if there's even a point now that it's been over a month since I've updated (which I realize consistent updates are likely a huge factor as well 🙃 but, you know, life.)
Anyway. Thinking out loud here. Any advice/conversation is welcome! 💗
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("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)
#svsss#bingqiu#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#lbh#sqq#i've been working through the series of unfortunate events and somehow that series has paired really nicely with svsss#the themes of cycling violence and what's justified and what isn't and what can possibly be done differently#and how trying to bring love and honour into the midst of it really changes nothing but also changes everything#it's just *chef's kiss*#i don't know how i can quite do my thoughts justice but i've spent the past few weeks quietly going between the two series (and mdzs and tg#as well if we're being honest they all hit similar questions and themes) and just reveling in the pain and ambiguity of it#everything is interconnected and it means you can never know what trauma and pain and necessity has shaped a person#each story goes too far back to ever ever EVER possibly see the full extent of it#at that level even communication itself is nearly impossible.#and because of that it's almost impossible to change anything. beat yourself apart and the outcome is the same#and yet ATTEMPTING to change things ATTEMPTING to do the kind thing the honourable thing is absolutely critical#because while you can change nothing you also have the capacity to change EVERYTHING#aaaaaaah i don't even know what i'm saying#but i read the beatrice letters today and the love letter just. killed me.#(obviously i cherrypicked some lines because it's three pages long but those ones felt right)#''i love you like a corpse loves a vulture's beak'' i just. can't get over that line.#to be completely changed. altered. destroyed. redeemed. purified. desecrated. reduced to nothing yet entirely necessary for another's life.#what a FUCKING line#anyway i was either going to blow up from thinking about it or else i had to exorcise it via art from an entirely different series#i've already done svsss and discworld why not throw a series of unfortunate events into the mix#i'll be honest folks i did not expect svsss to be the mxtx series that would fuck me up the most about the main ship#bingqiu is something else. i don't even know how to begin to approach my feelings on it. impossibility and necessity all at once#bizarre#my art
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The basegame wedding dress has a pregnancy morph??
#I can never be positive if something in my game is like. a third-party launcher addition#but this is so funny and I had such a strong hunch#because rushing to have your Sim get married before they give birth is such a thing so many players would do!!#and it would be so funny to pay attention to that detail by having the wedding dress show the bump!!!!#all your sim's wedding photos very obviously giving away the reason for the rushed date HAHA#the dress with the pendant at the back that everyone default replaces off (the one with the knife texture) also has a preg morph#which I know because it's the one your Sims get forced into if they attend a wedding#but it's kind of unusual because pregnant Sims don't have the opportunity to change into formal wear?#like pregnant Sims get new undies pyjamas and swimwear in addition to their maternity outfit#and if you direct a pregnant Sim to change into one of them then it changes them into the appropriate maternity fit instead of their usual#but you can't direct them to change into formal and if you use a hacked option like the shop any-wear rack it uses their usual non morph fi#so it has to be something external like a wedding that triggers them to change into formal. and I have no idea why#does this mean there's a BG suit with a preg morph for men??#or did maxis not think that pregnant male Sims would be quite so desperate to get married#anyway I'm probably the last person to know about this LMAO and I'm sure no one cares bc everyone uses wear-anything mods#but I'm a scrub who still prefers to use the default maternity meshes so this is yuge to me#also if you've never seen this dress b4: in the early game all Sims getting married under an arch used to be forced into the same outfits#actually I can't remember if the men got forced into the same suit or if they just used their regular formal#because most BG formal outfits for men were mostly wedding-appropriate#but at any rate. all women wore the same wedding dress. and it was this .... beauty#and I don't remember with which EP it changed but probably pretty early on they just let Sims use their regular formal wear for weddings#so you could pick their wedding dress yourself#but this dress remained hidden by default (I think?) so ironically it meant you COULDN'T use the wedding dress even if you wanted to#also this is completely off topic but you would also go away for your honeymoon#which meant the Sims getting married would literally get driven away in a limousine and stay off-world for a while#it was kind of cute because it really was like they took a vacation from the player too. got up to their own mischief away from your contro#then with bon voyage they introduced ACTUAL vacations and they turned honeymoons into an actual game mechanic#but again these offworld honeymoons are no longer a possibility#kind of like teens 'going out' with permission got replaced by going out on actual outings/dates even though it was a cute event#wow this note section is long and irrelevant. anyway enjoy picking up your wedding dress from a store called 'It's Not Too Late'
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2024 reads / storygraph
Asunder
slow-paced high fantasy
a woman who has a contract with an eldritch entity allowing her to see the dead & survives by taking various jobs
when a job searching for stranded smugglers in a cave goes wrong, she ends up with the soul of a dying stranger bound to her shadow
along with a scholar and her old childhood friend, they travel to his home country to find a way to unbind him and save them both
dark fantasy world with gods, demonic entities, arcane magic, and semi-sentient beasts used as transport
#asunder#kerstin hall#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#okay SUPER fascinating worldbuilding with some very visceral creatures and biological constructs and interesting magic systems.#many things I like. A great cast of characters. Honestly I could read tons more stories set in this world.#it’s very slow building and meandering narratively; focusing on the complex journey of the main character#didn’t love the audio narration tbh - it felt like some lines are read with the wrong emphasis or tone? but I got used to it after a while#So this has one of my absolute favourite tropes (bodysharing.) unfortunately it turns it into a romance which is. well.#it just doesn’t hit the same if you make it romantic!! so that kinda made it change traintracks from being on a direct line to#potentially 5 stars to a whole different station where i do not live. lol.#I SUPPOSE it’s a well developed relationship and I’d prefer romances more like that than instalove I guess.#I did love their dynamic; too; but suddenly realising it was romantic threw me for a loop. I had put him in the annoying dad category.#I do also feel like we didn’t get quite enough of him as an individual person and characterisation - which obviously makes sense to an#extent; but I felt like I only got to see more of him in the brief time around his father.#Also he was surprisingly chill and nice to her immediately considering he was essentially her hostage???#Anyway I did enjoy a lot of it; it just suffers the unfortunate tragedy of#[literally my favourite thing made for me] [turns that thing into literally my least favourite thing i hate]#but also -random dude you’re bound to being overly protective and considerate despite barely knowing you (platonic/familial vibe) - yeah!#random dude you’re bound to being overly protective and considerate despite barely knowing you (romantic) ehhhh…idk.....#(to me personally. i'm sure people enjoy that. whatever)
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ngl it makes me want to die a little bit that it's so often trans people who feel that sex is mutable but oppression is always-forever based on asab in ways that allow them to demand that information from other trans people. like it feels fucking bad. it feels bad when it's people holding up someone who posts a lot of selfies as transition goals to a degree they have to clarify what they have or haven't done or what "direction" they're going in, it feels worse when people are out there like "caster semenya is not tma" or whatever the fuck. i am, as always, not a trans woman, but here's a sentiment echoed by many of the trans women around me who log the fuck off, quoted directly from one: "people who draw a clear line where they say that semenya or khelif are tme and then call me tma are just calling me male at this point".
like i get it. i really do. we seek community and shared experiences, and we feel betrayed when people have less in common with us than we thought they did. [*more on this later.] but that's not those people's faults and my god in the case i'm seeing play out on twitter rn this poor person did absolutely nothing to intentionally mislead people, just posted pictures of their actual kid self. who looks a lot like i did, because shockingly enough "we can always tell" doesn't fucking work for trans people either!
on the one hand i move in intersex circles which are unapologetically welcoming in cis "dyadic" people with pcos, because it serves nobody to draw a clear line where mutilation or genetics or some ineffable childhood suffering are what make somebody intersex, especially when most of us (esp in places like nz) have never been karyotyped and are being treated for symptoms without a pinned-down cause anyway. the more of us there are the stronger we are, the more pressure we can exert on a medical profession which doesn't like to consider how common outliers are, how uneasy sex is at all. and then on the other hand there's dyadic trans people on the internet who've yelled me out of spaces because a couple of traumatised incarcerated trans women i worked with as a prison abolitionist assumed i was also a trans woman and i didn't immediately tell them my entire csa-involved history of being sexed in varying ways as an infant and child and/or exactly how big my phallus was at birth or where in my junk config my urethra lives so they could decide i was tme or whatever.
returning to the * for a related but not identical thought: i think presuming shared experiences leads to some fucked shit in general! "oh we all had a radfem phase" or "oh we all were channers" no we fucking weren't and it's particularly obnoxious when me & mine are trying to build trans community locally to organise and resist the growing wave of far-right backlash against our existence, and there's just white people in there on a spectrum from "straight up being antisemitic and trying to get the n-word pass" through "handwringing about how they need to make space for people who aren't politically correct" to "handwringing about how brown people are right to be mad at them but doing shit fuckall". and then the other fucking brown people in the space are on some identity politics shit where they're like "trans joy inherently excludes those of us who could get deported" or "big city white queers are killing us by being visible instead of going stealth bc it stirs up the discourse" or whatever the fuck i've heard pulled out this year. there's a bunch of reasons i primarily organise outside of trans spaces and that's one of them. i've never felt more alone in spaces where people claim we're all the same than being left as the brownest moderator or organiser in a space full of people to whom "this is a safe trans space" apparently means they get to abdicate all other responsibilities not to lapse into presumed shared patterns that are fucking racist or otherwise alienating. i've never felt more alone than surrounded by exclusively trans people who sort people into boxes and assume everyone in those boxes has the transition goals they have. like i was on cypro until it disagreed with me to the point of endocrine crisis and now i'm on t and at both those points people were so fucking presumptive or entitled to my reasons or journey or personal relationship w my body
literally just submitted on (and was invited to consult on) the nz law commission's review of the human rights act and like. it's straight up fucked how many nz trans people fully do not comprehend that any "sex assigned at birth" type definitions fundamentally exclude migrants who have no way of proving it and many intersex people who happen to have been reassigned later or many times or never assigned at all as a baby. we can't make law with this shit and that's why we have to have symmetrical protections for all genders/sexes/expressions/presentations, bc naming and defining a protected class here often leaves the people who already are left out from those shared experiences of marginalisation out in the cold when they face violence
#reblogs turned off because obviously i'm already bracing to be pilloried for saying one thing not quite correctly or whatever#and also bc i have zero interest in having this be boosted by trans dudes on their own transandrophobia agenda either#i'm just venting#but frankly the first time i got yelled at for saying that as an intersex person some of the immense violence i experienced as a child#was motivated by transmisogyny#i was a teenager and it was someone a fair bit older than me with more local clout so like. it's been a decade. how is it worse now.#intersex spaces have made SO much progress and yet#also yes i'm femme! i'm femme in a trans way! many dykes who aren't women are!#many of us got more comfortable w it as adults who had gender agency!#in literally the same way it took my wife ages after transitioning to work out she's also butch and doesn't actually want to do femme thing#bc that's a shared experience in how we've navigated the expectations of womanhood before opting out of the parts we don't want!#anyway the lawcomm shit was fucked bc honestl i don't give a shit if someone lost their gonads as an adult in an accident#they should be protected even if they don't consider themselves intersex#and we know that gender as an axis of oppression comes back to the reproduction of the nuclear family#and that cis women who can't have kids sometimes become the political football though ofc not as much by far and like#idk. y'all ever heard about solidarity? sometimes i feel like i'm back in the place where the loudest traumatised person at the party#is yelling at another young woman like “you'll never understand what it's like to be a victim”#when said young woman was assaulted the week before.#a politics that starts by defending and defining oneself w oppression kinda fucking sucks actually#and intersex people stopped policing intersexness by who got mutilated a long time ago#bc actually we want the generations ahead to not get that treatment#and when i see “trans elders” going on about how “if you pass and got on hrt before 18 you're not trans like i am” i'm like. why! what!#anyway. tired.#may regret this. we shall see#tony muses
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me as a kid: i have all these problems
every adult around me: you're not old enough to know what's wrong with you, you're fine
me as an adult: i still have all these problems
my doctors after i finally got the opportunity to choose them myself: oh my fucking god why have you never gotten help for all these problems. you should have seen me 10 years ago
#problems i have finally gotten help for that i was told i was not old enough to know about:#AMPS (was told it was anxiety and then when i kept coming back they said it was fibro Quite Literally just to get me to shut up)#(like the doc i just saw literally said 'they diagnose fibromyalgia here when they dont know what the problem is but dont feel like testing)#multiple food allergies (was also told the stomach pain and vomiting was anxiety)#seborrheic dermatitis (i was told 'youre just stressed thats why you have a rash')#(which- if im so stressed my skin is literally dying MAYBE I STILL NEED HELP?????????)#autism and adhd (my father knew! but refused to get me assessed bc if i dont have a diagnosis theres no problem right :)#anxiety disorder (oh so when I'm in pain i DO have anxiety but when i say i have anxiety I'm overreacting okay)#dyscalculia and possibly dyslexia ('you just need to try harder' I've asked for a tutor five times)#some of my doctors don't actually believe me about some of these problems BECAUSE i have no records from when i was a kid#they're like 'it just popped up at 18? seems suspicious......' like I WASN'T ALLOWED TO GO TO THE DOCTOR'S UNTIL THEN#there's definitely more but I'm still mad abt it#i might not be in a wheelchair Almost All The Time if i had gotten help BEFORE i lost half the feeling in my legs#i KNEW the fibro was a BS diagnosis#i tried to get assessed for autism at 16 and was told i have schizotypal personality disorder instead with literally zero testing#like my psych just refused to allow me to get tested for autism she was like 'no you have spd i Just Know'#same psych that said there was zero way i had anything like DID because my symptoms didn't present Exactly like the Only other#patient at the clinic with DID. i want to note that that was a 14 year old boy still being actively abused#and i was a 20 year old who was in a safe environment and had distanced myself from my abusers and stressors
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see, the thing is that (up until countdown at least) there’s no symmetry in jay and bruce's respective ways of grieving.
jay is perpetually trapped in the bargaining stage of grief, trying to reach out to bruce from beyond death.
bruce is way past this. he has settled into a quiet, passive type of mourning, devoid of hope for a reunion. and to stay in this state, he had to necessarily disregard jay’s true image – an image of an earnest, bright child, his son. the memory of jay has been reconstructed in his mind a thousand times and sealed in a folder labeled as “soldier” (or even just a personal failure). it's ugly. it's unfair. it's a coping mechanism.
so to me, the issue isn't that bruce wants his dead, sweet little boy back – the issue is that he barely remembers him. if he did, maybe he would be willing to take a leap of faith and search for that person in jason who came back. but he's not even trying to reconcile the image of 15yo jay with red hood – or rather, maybe the image of a volatile kid that he created in his grief fits with the red hood a bit too accurately. maybe it's a bit too convenient. it works perfectly well for his own self-preservation and sanity, to think that jason has been doomed from the beginning.
jason, on the other hand, is cursed with remembering. one of the very sparse concepts that i found interesting in rhato was when in #3 (2011) jason chose to give up on his happiest memory – skipping patrol to watch a movie with bruce. maybe it's because recalling these tender, sweet moments is what gives him hope, and motivates him to keep bargaining and trying to reconcile with bruce. and bargaining with reality is exhausting. the readers and jay know that it's a lost cause – both because neither bruce nor jay are the same people anymore, but also because, ironically, batman, the symbol of hope, doesn't have any left when it comes to getting his son back. bruce, in his grief, essentially closed the door. jay, in his grief, is banging on them.
#hm. you know i personally think that jay is shit at compartmentalisation. he's trying like his life depends on it!! and he's failing#bruce on the other hand is way too good at it.#to me the tragedy is. jason is still jason when he comes back. but the world is not the same and it's closing him off#who he becomes is a consequence of it..#god i'm afraid this post came off to much like bruce bashing but#closing the door on relationships is to be expected when someone is dead!#it makes sense.#disclaimer: you can just treat tarnishing jason's memory as bad writing btw and ignore it completely#i think it's fair game because it is also a result of dc writers hating jason.#personally – i think it's quite interesting to incorporate it into my reading#for the angst!#jay.zip#jay.txt#dc#phantom pains#cemeteries are for the living
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i have a question for everyone trans, non-binary, or just anyone who has a complex relationship with gender AND also speaks more than one language, do you feel like your feelings, expression, the way you use pronouns etc changes depending on the language you speak? not just what you like explicitly ask from ppl in regards to pronouns, but your internal life too. especially bc not every language offers the same freedoms in that regard.
#feel free to comment or send an ask or reblog and put in the tags whatever you want#like i know for me personally it's not quite the same and also i'm just not the same person when i speak my mother tongue#and when i speak english
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Randomized Robins AU - Ages + Worst Trait Exercise:
Steph (25):
Says her worst trait is her murderous rages (she is exaggerating for dramatic/comedic effect, she’s killed 3 people tops and for very good reason)
Thinks her worst trait is her spitefulness (one of the few traits she definitely got from her father + one that prevents her from fixing her relationships and living her best possible life. She’ll refuse to interact with someone she dearly loves after an argument (happens significantly less after Tim’s death) or will say things she knows are hurtful just for the sake of having the last word. This trait will worsen in some ways as the list of people who have wronged her and those she loves grows, but will also ease up as she matures and realizes the harm it’s doing to her relationships with those she loves most.)
Her worst trait really is her spitefulness
Cass (26)
Says her worst trait is her self-righteousness (she believes that her goals are righteous and, as a result, she is righteous. Cass becomes very defensive whenever someone questions the mission and often does not second-guess herself. This is a trait she only develops later in life as she grows closer to Bruce/learns to understand herself more/starts to love herself more. But she knows she isn’t perfect and when somebody she trusts criticizes something she is doing she is willing to listen. She just usually isn’t the one to START the introspection.)
Thinks her worst trait is her self-righteousness.
Her worst trait actually is her obsessiveness (she gets it from Bruce and, while not as bad as him, she will easily become preoccupied with her night-life and the mission if someone isn’t there to pull her back. She will do this to the point of self-destruction and it hurts her relationships with the people she loves, especially Steph.)
Tim (24)
Says his worst trait is his spitefulness (he actively rejects the idea of mending his relationships with the older members of the family and this causes him to also lack good relationships with the younger ones)
Thinks his worst trait is his obsessiveness (similar to Cass, if he gets fixated on a task or idea he will neglect everything else in his life in order to dedicate more time to it. Unlike Cass, he will almost never be dragged away from it unless Pierrot snatches control of the body and forces them to take care of themself.)
His worst trait actually is how manipulative he is (the KING of guilt-tripping and using people’s emotions against them. He’ll do whatever he needs to do to get what he wants, he’s not above crocodile tears. And he will do it to whoever he needs (or wants) to with little care for how his actions impact others.)
Pierrot (Insists: “Age doesn’t apply to me! And even if it did, I'd probably be the oldest. Or the youngest! I’d never be a middle child, though.” Mental assessments by the Bats have put him around 21, with a margin of error of 3 years. Pierrot has called this “blatant character assassination by my eternal rival!”)
Says his worst trait is that he is an irredeemable psychopath without any regard for the wellbeing of others (this is a lie and everyone who's important to him understands this).
Thinks his worst trait is his parasitic nature (he literally would not exist had Tim not suffered the way he did. Plus he is a living reminder of one of the worst things that happened to many of his loved ones. He is a parasite injected into a functional person's body and contributes to his continued suffering. This is also a largely incorrect judgement of himself, caused by his actual worst trait.)
His worst trait actually is his limited sense of self (he doesn’t really know who he is outside of ‘inheritor to the legacy of the Joker (a man he despises yet also views as a father)’ and ‘chip in Tim’s brain that became sentient’. He slowly develops an identity over the course of his life and relationships with other people, but he lacks the foundations of identity that most people have. Pierrot will often almost become a caricature of himself and what others perceive him to be because it's the only person he knows how to be. This causes wild swings in how he behaves and relates to others, sometimes to the detriment of himself and others.)
Dick (17)
Says his worst trait is his clinginess (he is a very extraverted person who likes to be around others, which mixed with his fear of abandonment after his parents died means that if he goes a few days without seeing/talking to a friend he will get very anxious.)
Thinks his worst trait is his anger issues (he gets ticked off very easily and will explode on people. He’s kind at his core and is usually very nice, but he has a temper that can escalate significantly. Spoiler (and later Twist) help him channel this anger into something positive.)
His worst trait actually is his anger issues.
Barbara (18)
Says her worst trait is her disability (internalized ableism, she thinks of herself as less valuable than the other Bats because she cannot be out there in the capes like they can. She will grow out of this as she matures and as she learns how invaluable her support for the team is.)
Thinks her worst trait is her disability
Her worst trait actually is her overly-independent nature (In an attempt to overcompensate for everything she can no longer do, she has resolved to do literally everything that she possibly can without any help from others. This results in many instances where she either takes on too much and winds up not being able to fully realize any of her tasks or where she makes her life and the lives of others significantly harder by refusing help when offered/not asking for it when she needs it.)
Damian (16)
Says his worst trait is his perfectionism (he is overly critical of both himself and others, taking any flaw or problem and amplifying it to an absurd degree. This is due in part to his life with the LoA (where even a brief misstep could lead to death), in part to how others treated him initially as Spoiler (any flaw was fixated on and used as a reason to either mistrust him or portray him as unworthy of the mantle), and in part due to the fact that he is Bruce’s son (the only person with worse perfectionism problems than Damian). Gradually, Damian has improved in this regard but it’s still a massive barrier to both his own happiness and his relationships with others.)
Thinks his worst trait is his perfectionism
His worst trait actually is his perfectionism
Duke (16)
Says his worst trait is his definitely-real secret evil side (says this as a ‘my dad is a villain so who knows??’ joke)
Thinks his worst trait is his impulsivity in his words (Sometimes he will crack a joke or say a remark without thinking it through, leading to a LOT of hurt feelings and drama. He’ll say something without thinking it through and wind up seeming insensitive. This isn’t done because of malice, rather because Duke is someone who’s quick to act and speak. But while the mantle of Insight and his awakening powers have helped him with his actions, they do not always help with his loose tongue. As such, Duke gains an unfair reputation in the media as an instigator and will accidentally cause family drama through what he says.)
His worst trait actually is his impulsivity in his words
Jason (14)
Says his worst trait is his bad manners (he grew up on the streets and has no idea how rich-people society works, which he’s pretty insecure about considering he’s now the youngest kid of Bruce freaking Wayne).
Thinks his worst trait is his reactiveness (Jason never got the privilege of planning ahead for various events in his life, so he instead needed to rely on being swift and harsh in how he could react to situations. It’s saved his life on multiple occasions and helps significantly in his role as Spoiler, but it can also lead to extreme overreactions (accidentally causing kidnapping scare after Jason ran away following a fight with Dick) and a struggle to plan things out ahead of time. As he grows more secure in his place in the family and in life, this trait will lessen but never fully dissipate.)
His worst trait actually is his reactiveness
#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#tim drake#dick grayson#barbara gordon#damian wayne#duke thomas#jason todd#batfamily#randomizedrobinsau#I'm debating whether I should tag this with the Joker Junior tag and those related to it for Pierrot#because like...it's not quite that. but it's also very close to that and is the direct result of that.#but Pierrot would fucking HATE to be tagged as that and sees it as an insult to his identity...which he already has problems with#so I don't think I'm gonna#anyways lmao I am totally projecting my younger self onto Barbara. How could I not? She's literally the reason I view my disability#the way that I do and she actively improved my mental health just by existing and saying some of the shit she did when I was in the#stages of accepting my own disability. So yeah I am projecting a lot onto her because I love her and see myself in her.#I'm mostly basing these characterizations on my favorite versions of them (ie Red Robin 2009 Tim and Birds of Prey Barbara).#so I'm taking the traits I like/think fit in this AU and discarding what I think either is bad or doesn't fit or if I just don't like it.#Damian's 'murder gremlin who is a meanie on purpose because he is a meanie' is entirely unappealing to me and also does not fit this AU#I prefer him when he's portrayed as a sympathetic kid (who is still an asshole) and not a demon child. So that's what I'm using.#same with Talia's 'abusive mother who is totally on-board with all of her father's bullshit and will kill someone for no reason' version#I have read enough comics to know what I like/what is most important and what I don't like/what is#BLATANT CHARACTER ASSASSINATION GRANT MORRISON YOU FUCK YOU SET TALIA BACK SO FUCKING FAR#I also decided to outline their WORST traits because I already know what I like about these characters/their best traits.#most people do. But what was a greater challenge was finding what would make their lives and those of others worse.#what would I hate about this person if I knew them IRL? What would I first suggest they get therapy for? What hurts them and why?#I found these questions really interesting in the context of this AU where some people are forced into completely different roles#the says/thinks/is was inspired by trying to answer that question for myself. I say my worst trait is my impulsiveness but when#I asked others in my life they answered 'oh so you said your weird thing where you don't ask for help right?'
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