#like i just realized he would sooner die than ruin their friendship and closeness by confessing
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jarchivussy · 2 years ago
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JUST CAME UP WITH A KAI N MORGAN PARALLWL.... WAUGH
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angry-geese · 4 years ago
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OSHA Non Compliance
Nanami Kento x Reader
Warnings: nsfw/minors do not interact. shameless smut. fingering, oral (fem and masc receiving), face riding, praise kink (kinda), multiple orgasms, mutual pining. gojo slander. a little dub con due to the sex pollen stuff. afab reader
Notes: some sex pollen smut with Nanami. i have a post thats pretty similar to this thats a gojo x reader which you can read here
Word Count: 3.3k
If there's one thing you two can agree on, it's how this is all Gojo’s fault.
The job was supposed to be simple; get in, exorcise the curse, get out. It wasn't a particularly deadly one, but it was proving to be difficult for lower grade sorcerers. Anyone who had come into contact with it fell violently ill, suffering effects that lasted between hours to days. The symptoms themselves varied from person to person. Nobody seemed to give a straight answer.
In response, you two were sent out.
As odd as it was, you didn't question it. Curses are odd, things like this happen. Two grade one sorcerers should have been enough to take this thing out. One alone should have been enough, not to mention the army of sorcerers sent after it before. Gojo wanted you to take backup just in case, shrugging you off when you asked why he couldn’t do it himself. You were certain you could take this alone, but he was insistent.
Reluctantly you dragged Nanami along.
The two of you weren't officially partners, but most of your jobs were done together. It was a mutual agreement. He found you much less annoying than Gojo. That's not to say he didn't find you annoying at first, but you were more tolerable. Nanami wasn’t much older than you—only by a few years—but he acted as a mentor when you first started out. You quickly improved, nearly rivaling him in strength. It wasn't long before you became a grade one sorcerer, same as him. On that day he was there to celebrate with you.
He likes to think you’ve turned out to be a semi-functional human being. Maybe he’s gotten sentimental as he’s grown older. He hated for his work life to cross over into his home life, but he’s made an exception for you. Any time you’d call, he’d come running.
The curse had taken up residence in an abandoned school, only being discovered when the building was being surveyed for possible reuse. You’re not sure why nobody had noticed it sooner, but you’ve learned not to question a curse’s behavior.
It’s attack had a strange area of effect. You've never seen anything like it. The fact that such a non-lethal curse was considered such a high grade should have tipped you off in the first place. The curse released some strange sort of fumes. Or spores. You really weren't certain what they were. It was airborne and you knew that you needed to stay far away.
While the direct hit missed you, you were still affected. You took in a lung-full of the stuff before you managed to get away.
If it weren't for Nanami…
You barely make it back to the car. You’re not injured, so much as you’re lightheaded, and nauseous.
“I’m not going to make it back to the school.” You say.
“Are you hurt?” He asks.
Slowly you shake your head. It's not wrong, per se, but it's not right either. This is a strange type of hurt.
Your apartment is closer. The drive was twenty minutes on the way there; you make it back in about eight.
You’re not sure what to do once you get inside other than contemplate your life choices. You toss your keys and bag aside. There's not much you can do aside from flop down on your couch and pray. Not that you’re the praying type normally, but what could it hurt?
The effects of the pollen seem to hit you all at once. The sickly sweet taste in your mouth makes you gag. You fall to your hands and knees and retch, but nothing comes up. If you thought you felt bad before, you definitely do now. Sweat beads on your forehead. You feel jittery, yet lethargic. Heat radiates off your skin like a furnace. Your mouth has gone dry. Your clothes feel too tight. You’d claw them off your body if your partner wasn't sitting a few feet away.
You swallow hard as heat begins to pool between your legs. You shift uncomfortably, trying to get some relief.
While you’re slowly losing it, Nanami looks fine. As calm and collected as ever.
Nanami didn't seem to get the brunt of that attack. Or maybe he's better at hiding it than you.
He is.
He’s been dealing with an aching cock since you two left that building. He was all-too aware of every corner and bump on the ride home. You were too busy trying to escape with your dignity to notice him, and the tent that grows in his pants. He covers his lap with his suit jacket. You think nothing of it.
He studies every dip and curve of your clothed body. They cling to your skin with sweat in a way that makes his cock throb. Nanami knows how wrong it is. He shouldn't feel this way. You're his damn partner! Looking at you this feels so wrong.
In an attempt to comfort you, he smooths a hand across your back, gently squeezing your shoulder. Sweat beads in your hairline. Your chest heaves.
“I don't think it’s something we can wait out,” you say, swallowing hard.
“What are we-” it’s as if he didn't realize what he was asking. His eyes go wide, before his gaze shoots straight to the ground.
“‘Ken-” You say, hoping he can't hear the way your voice trembles, “I feel like I’ll die if you don't touch me.”
It's with a sinking, horrifying feeling that he agrees. Slowly you climb into his lap. It feels wrong. But your body fits perfectly against his. He’s your partner—your friend—you shouldn't be wanting him this way. He’s pliant against your touch, moving with you, paying close attention to each and every one of your movements. Every cell of your being wants him to fuck you.
“I know.” He says. “Me too.”
He hauls you into his arms, setting you down on the couch back-first. The sudden weightlessness you feel makes you gasp. There's nothing gentle behind his touch. Your hands work to undo the buttons of his shirt, but they tremble so bad it's hard to do.
“Don't worry about that.” He coos. "Let me take care of you."
With shaky hands he undoes the buttons on your pants, sliding them down your legs. His face heats up at the way your panties are already soaked through. All this just for him?
He tries not to stare too long. If you were the only thing he looked at for the rest of his life, he'd be content.
He strokes at your clit through the thin fabric of your panties. He almost seems afraid to touch you. For a moment he is, but that quickly wears off when you moan. He can't help but watch the way you squirm and writhe under his touch. How the delicate fabric clings to your skin from how wet you are. He hates how much he enjoys seeing you like this. It feels wrong.
“Please,” there’s a hazy look in your eyes.
He swallows hard. You’re not thinking straight, he thinks, this is so wrong.
He pulls down your panties, throwing them aside with your pants. You tug off your shirt, quickly tossing it aside. His hands come up to palm at your breasts through the fabric of your bra. He gently tugs the fabric down, exposing your breasts. Your nipples harden in the cool air. As wrong as it feels, you would be lying if you said your partner wasn't attractive. Not only is he handsome, and one of the most powerful sorcerers you have met, he was a close—if not your closest—friend.
Nanami’s touches are feather-light. It's not that he's worried about hurting you—though the fear of that is there—he doesn't want this to ruin your friendship. He doesn't want you to view him differently because of this. The two of you have gone through much together; he doesn't want this to make things awkward. He’s just wanted you for so long.
He never intended for his work life to cross over into his home life. That was until you came along. Nanami can't imagine a life without you around.
Two of his fingers press against your entrance, his thumb circling your clit. His fingers are long, and fairly thick. Only one enters you at first, but you’re wet enough he adds a second one not long after. His fingers curl, stroking against your g-spot. His touch feels like too much yet not enough. You desperately grind against his hand, chasing your own release.
If he can just get you to finish, maybe he can wait it out. You’ve clearly got it worse than him. Right?
He pulls you up into a kiss. His lips taste sweet. Your lips part, allowing his tongue into your mouth. His chest presses against yours. Your thighs tighten around his hand, though not in an attempt to stop him.
Heat pools low in your stomach, slowly building in intensity. You moan into Nanami's mouth. You're reduced to a whining, whimpering mess under his hand.
His free hand moves to cup your cheek, tilting your head so your gaze meets his. A sleepy grin spreads across your face. The pad of his thumb brushes over your glossy lips. In a moment of lucidity you wrap your lips around it, swirling your tongue around the digit.
Nanami almost forgets how to breathe. Nobody can get him nearly as flustered as you can.
The coil in your stomach snaps. If you knew how much you gushed around Nanami's fingers, you'd be blushing. Your cunt clenches around his fingers as you ride out your orgasm on his hand.
Your first orgasm provides no relief. In a matter of seconds—probably less time than that if you're being honest—you're ready for another round.
You work the last few buttons of his shirt open before he gets impatient and pulls the thing over his head. You let out an audible “oh!” at the sight of his chest. It's more toned than you expected; not that you’ve given it much thought.
“Like what you see?” He says in a sudden moment of boldness that it surprises both of you.
You nod. Now really isn't the time to be shy, but you can't help it.
He's painfully hard, his erect cock leaking precum against his thigh. The tent in his pants is impressive to say the least. You get on your knees, tugging his pants down his hips. You were right to notice his bulge. He's huge. Long and thick. Uncut too. The hairs towards the base of his cock are light—a similar sandy blonde as the hair on his head—and neatly trimmed. He always takes care of himself. A prominent vein runs up the bottom. A small pang of guilt hits you when you realize how needy his cock looks. His chest, the tips of his nose and ears, and the head of his cock are all dusted with pink. He looks at you with such adoration it makes your chest flutter.
You slide off the couch, getting on your knees. Nanami parts his legs just enough for you to kneel between them.
His eyes go wide the moment your lips touch his cock. You press kitten licks to the tip, watching the way his lip twitches in frustration. Nanami’s hands bury in your hair. The feeling of his nails raking against your scalp makes goosebumps raise along your skin. What you can’t fit in your mouth, you stroke with your hands. Saliva runs down your chin in streams, tears stained black with eyeliner streaming down your cheeks.
The only sign that he’s about to orgasm is the way he tilts his head back, cursing.
When he cums, he cums a lot. It's thick, but runny, and has almost no taste to it at all. His cum spills out the corners of your mouth when you pull off of him, releasing him with a pop!
Without thinking, you swallow.
With how long he stares down at you, it almost seems like you’ve done something wrong.
You can't stop the squeak you let out as he hauls you into his lap. He lays back, guiding your hips so you’re kneeling above his face.
“What are you-”
“It’s only fair that I return the favor,” he says.
No matter how hard you try, he doesn't let you wriggle out of his grasp.
“I- I don't want to suffocate you.” You say.
The amount of his testicles Nanami would cut off just to get a taste of your cunt… He’ll give you a hint, it's more than one and less than three.
“You won't.” He said. Even if you could—which you couldn't, he’s stronger than he looks—he’d die happy.
Your thighs cradle his head in an almost perfect way. There's almost no better feeling. His tongue dips between your folds, circling your clit. You taste sweet, he notes. A kiss is pressed to your clit before long, slow strokes of a hot tongue lavish it in affection. He kneads your thighs gently all while alternating between licking and sucking on your bundle of nerves.
He wants nothing more than to take his time with you. After all, he’s got years to make up for.
You can feel and hear him panting against your dripping sex. He can do little to hide the way he grinds his bulge against the couch. He grunts when you tug his hair, guiding him to where you need him most.
There's a feeling of emptiness as you cum, your walls contracting around nothing where something should be. You ride out your orgasm with a series of short, high pitched moans, rocking your cunt against his mouth. Nanami takes all of it in stride, lewdly slurping at your sex. Your thighs shake, your cunt spasming as he continues to press kitten licks to your clit.
And god- the sight of his face; his lips wet and slick from your cunt, eyes hazy with lust, his hair a mess.
"It's no use." You say. It's in-between whimpers and moans. Even as your second orgasm approaches, you feel no sense of relief. "I need your cock."
He feels himself twitch with need. His cock barely went soft the first time he came. Nanami wants nothing more than to sink his length into your warm, wet cunt.
He doesn't bother carrying you to your room. He would have fucked you in the car if you asked. He’d fuck you on every flat surface of your apartment if you wanted him too.
His cock presses against your entrance, rubbing at your folds. He doesn't mean to tease you, he just wants to drag this out as long as he can. You're so wet you take his cock with no resistance. He groans at the feeling of your cunt as you sink onto him.
Cumming on his tongue is intoxicating, but it feels like nothing in comparison to his cock. Nothing substitutes for the hot, full sensation of his cock inside of you. You string together words in some desperate attempt to make a sentence. Being completely filled is making you woozy. Nanami fits just so well inside of you. It's like you were made for this. You're not sure if it's the pollen, or just him, but you can feel every ridge and vein on his cock.
"Can't believe-" he huffs, "can't believe you got tighter after cumming twice."
"Please Ken," you whimper.
It hurts, but it feels too nice to stop. Nanami can't tear his eyes away from the way your tits bounce as you ride him. The sounds of skin slapping on skin echo through the room, mingling with his grunts and your moans, creating a lewd cacophony.
"Fuck," he says, his seemingly calm demeanor fading, "you're so fucking pretty."
Gojo would give him shit about this for weeks if he knew…
You're starting to think he meant to do this.
"I'm going to kill him," you say, although it's hard to stay mad for long.
“Me too,” he says.
Your orgasm rolls over you like a wave, throwing you around and spitting you back out, leaving you an absolute mess. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes. Eyeliner runs down your face in streams, leaving black trails across your skin. It's the first time you've cum from g-spot stimulation alone. But it's also the same as the other two times you've cum: you're ready for another round instantly.
At some point in time Nanami gets on top. Your legs lock around his back, pulling him in. Maybe you blacked out. Exhaustion creeps into your limbs, leaving them sore and wobbly.
Nanami thrusts harder, trying to quell the fire that pits in his stomach. He doesn't warn you that he's coming. If he's being honest, he didn't know he was either. You just feel hot ropes of his cum fill you, spilling out, staining your couch. When he cums, his cock doesn't even go soft. If anything he’s harder. Almost instantly he’s ready for another round. He's never felt anything quite like this.
The sensation of his cum dripping out of you, running down your thighs in streams is bizarre. There's so much of it. You don't want him to stop. He brings a hand down to give your ignored clit some attention. His spare hand wipes your tears away, his thumb gently brushing across your cheek.
Even as he's made you cum for the nth time tonight he doesn't stop. The two of you can only fuck and cum until you're no longer sure where your body ends and his begins. It doesn't feel like enough. You’ve never been so full. He wants to cum in you and breed you until your womb is swollen with his child.
At some point he collapses from exhaustion—he thinks—and he's certain the two of you are going to die. No human can survive this, he thinks, that's impossible.
Neither of you died.
It could be minutes, it could be hours; by the time you wake up the sun has set completely. You're not sure what time it is, but judging by how long the sky's been dark, it must have been a while. Nanami snores softly, his drool pooling in the valley between your breasts. You card a hand through his hair, brushing it out of his eyes. One of his eyes cracks open. He can't tell if he’s dreaming or not. If he is, then this is too good to be true.
"You still with me?" You ask.
He nods.
You're cradled chest to chest, his heartbeat as steady and alive as ever. He pulls out slowly, admiring the mess between your thighs. Even in his sobering state he finds you truly beautiful. From the way your skin glints with sweat to the way you run your tongue over your parched lips. You stretch out, trying to work the stiffness out of your limbs. You’re certain you’ll be sore in the morning.
Nanami disappears into the kitchen, returning with two glasses of water. What you could really use is a shower.
If you want, he'll never mention this again. He's starstruck by your naked form, his cum dripping down your thighs. Part of him wants to see you like this every night. But that might still be the pollen talking.
He's sputtering out an apology; stringing words together in hopes of begging for your forgiveness.
"I didn't think that's how it'd happen," you say, shrugging, "but…"
You really can't complain. Everyone but Nanami seemed to realize how head over heels you were for each other.
"You… liked it?" He asks.
If you didn't like it, he would know. Nanami can't believe it.
"Minus the nearly dying part." You say. "I've spent the past year and a half trying to get in your pants. So yeah."
Instantly his face turns red. How has he not noticed? He's both mortified, and relieved that you feel the same—or at least similar to him. Then the embarrassment hits him. He didn't think he could be more embarrassed than he was standing naked in your living room.
"I'm gonna go shower." You say. He gives a nod in response, stopping dead in his tracks when you say: "join me."
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bloody-bee-tea · 4 years ago
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Raise
Ever since he and Nie Mingjue broke up, Jiang Cheng has only been going through the motions. He’s still fulfilling his duties as a Sect Leader—his pride in his Sect won’t allow him to do anything else—but that’s about it.
There’s nothing in life to take enjoyment from anymore and Jiang Cheng feels a lot like he did right after the war, except with less existential dread. But he’s lost and unmoored and he doesn’t know what to do.
He hates it a little bit that Nie Mingjue still has this kind of power over him, but mostly he’s just fucking devastated.
Now he understands his sister and her tears and her sad smiles a bit better.
Getting your heart broken really is the worse and Jiang Cheng guesses it doesn’t help that at least he knows that Nie Mingjue felt the same for him.
Jin Zixuan was a complete asshole to his sister, which must have made it a little bit easier Jiang Cheng hopes, because he wishes this for no one.
When he realizes that he lost himself yet again in his own head, he scoffs. It’s been happening a lot lately, and usually all of his thoughts turn to Nie Mingjue but he can’t afford to slack off.
No matter what his second in command keeps telling him on a daily basis.
If Jiang Cheng would take a day for himself, he wouldn’t do anything but wallow in his misery anyway, and he prefers working over doing that.
So he goes on, and on, one letter after the other, until he made a considerable dent into the stack that built itself up during his last weeks with Nie Mingjue.
Jiang Cheng grinds his teeth together when he realizes that he’s yet again thinking about the other man and he slams his hand on the table in his rage.
He really wonders just how long this will go on; how long he will be haunted by the thought of Nie Mingjue. Right now, he hears Nie Mingjue’s laugh echo in the hallways they frequently walked together, he feels Nie Mingjue’s phantom touch on his shoulder whenever he sits hunched over some work for too long, and he still feels all the love Nie Mingjue had for him.
But duty comes first, Jiang Cheng understands that. He doesn’t have to like it, but he understands.
“You can’t just—no, wait,” Jiang Cheng suddenly hears from outside and he lifts his head a second before someone barges into his study.
“You fucking asshole,” is what Nie Huaisang greets him with and Jiang Cheng knew that the break-up would throw a little bit of a wrench into their friendship, but he didn’t expect this.
“Huaisang,” he still greets his old friend, but he figures he shouldn’t have when Nie Huaisang glares at him, clearly too agitated to even get his fan out.
“Do not even dare,” Nie Huaisang hisses. “You absolute fucking asshole. You said you would love him!”
“I do,” Jiang Cheng says with a sigh, getting up to close the door behind Nie Huaisang, hoping that not all of Lotus Pier heard him yet.
“Yeah, I can tell,” Nie Huaisang sarcastically gives back. “It’s so very evident in the way you broke up with him.”
“Don’t be unfair,” Jiang Cheng whispers, but he can’t meet Nie Huaisang’s eyes.
It still hurts too much.
“Unfair. Unfair! The only one being unfair here is you!”
“Huaisang,” Jiang Cheng snaps, now slowly getting angry himself.
He can understand the protective instinct of a sibling, but this is really going to far. It’s not Jiang Cheng’s fault, and he didn’t actually want to break up with Nie Mingjue, but since it was what Nie Mingjue had wanted, he had done it.
And it seemed unfair to be attacked over this now.
“No. I’m going to ruin you,” Nie Huaisang lowly says and while usually Jiang Cheng wouldn’t give much thought to a threat like this, he knows that if Nie Huaisang really wants to, he will.
Going by the glare Jiang Cheng gets, Nie Huaisang really wants to.
“Why? It’s not my fault,” Jiang Cheng snaps at him and Nie Huaisang laughs right in his face.
“Right, not your fault. Of course not. How could it be? You’re just the guy who broke up with my brother.”
“Because he wanted to!” Jiang Cheng shouts at him, his heart still hurting so damn much and that at least is enough to shut Nie Huaisang up for a few seconds.
“He wanted to,” Nie Huaisang lowly repeats. “That’s what you’re going with? Really?”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Jiang Cheng asks, suddenly drained of all energy and he goes to sit back down at the table.
He doesn’t want to fight with Nie Huaisang and he doesn’t want to do it while standing up, and all he really wants to do is go crawl into bed with Nie Mingjue and curl up against his chest, but it’s not like he’ll ever be able to do that again.
“My brother finally opens up to you about the qi deviations and your first instinct is to run away and break up with him? And now you’re trying to twist it like it was actually his idea? You’re really something else, Jiang-zongzhu. I thought better of you.”
“That’s not what happened, Huaisang,” Jiang Cheng says with a small frown, because Jiang Cheng remembers that conversation a lot differently, and he was actually present.
“Then enlighten me,” Nie Huaisang hisses. “What did happen?”
Jiang Cheng desperately doesn’t want to speak about it—the pain still too near and fresh—but Nie Huaisang is levelling him with a look that promises pain and absolute ruin if Jiang Cheng doesn’t start speaking like five seconds ago and so he sighs.
“He told me about the qi deviations,” Jiang Cheng says, because so far they are on the same page. “That he’ll die soon and young and violently.”
“And you left him for it,” Nie Huaisang says with a nod, as if there could be no doubt about it.
“I love him. Do you really think that low of me?” Jiang Cheng asks, a new kind of hurt finding its place in his chest.
Jiang Cheng thought he was long over being hurt by people being disappointed in him, but it seems like he was wrong.
“Seeing as he is back home, absolutely devastated and you’re going on like nothing happened, I think the only possible answer can be yes,” Nie Huaisang sneers at him and Jiang Cheng sees red.
“I have to do this,” Jiang Cheng yells and shoots up. “I have to because if I don’t keep busy, if I don’t distract myself, I’ll be a fucking shell. I want to do nothing more than to crawl into bed and cry for a good week but what good is that going to do me? It’s not going to get me Mingjue back and my Sect actually still needs me. I was miserable all through the war and for a good while after and I don’t want to feel like that again. And besides; he made his choice. What use is there for me to cry after him.”
“He made his choice? The audacity you have! And don’t raise your voice at me like that,” Nie Huaisang gives back, clearly unfazed by Jiang Cheng’s explosion and it cuts all of Jiang Cheng’s strings.
It doesn’t matter what he tells Nie Huaisang, he realizes. He has his mind already made up.
“He told me about the qi deviations and that his Sect must come first,” Jiang Cheng still mutters. “He needs an heir.”
Jiang Cheng barely gets the words out, and he hates himself a little for how his eyes well up almost immediately. It’s been almost a week by now and the words still hurt as much as they did when they left Nie Mingjue’s mouth.
In front of him, Nie Huaisang freezes.
“What?”
“He said he needs to prepare, that he needs someone to take over eventually. It’s not that hard to understand his meaning,” Jiang Cheng whispers.
Nie Mingjue needs an heir. And for that he needs a wife. It’s as easy as that.
“Did he say it like that?” Nie Huaisang asks and Jiang Cheng nods miserably.
“That fucking idiot,” Nie Huaisang mutters and finally sits down himself, slamming his fan on the table. “Listen here, Wanyin,” he says and Jiang Cheng wonders when he switched back to being Wanyin again.
“I’m listening,” Jiang Cheng says because clearly Nie Huaisang is waiting for a response from him.
Though he’s not quite sure he can take any more accusations today.
“My brother is an idiot,” Nie Huaisang solemnly says and Jiang Cheng fights the immediate urge to defend Nie Mingjue.
He’s not sure he still has that right.
“Why?” he asks instead, because it seems like the safer option.
“I am his heir,” Nie Huaisang tells him and Jiang Cheng goes very still. “When father died and da-ge decided to not take a wife, they wrote that down somewhere. I’m to inherit the Sect should anything happen to my brother.”
“He—it didn’t sound like that when we talked,” Jiang Cheng carefully says.
It makes no sense. Nie Mingjue had looked sad as he had said that he needs to prepare. Why would he look sad if he already has an heir.
“There was sadness on his face when he said it,” Jiang Cheng weakly goes on, because he still remembers that look and it cuts him just as much as it did then.
“It was probably regret. Da-ge wanted to give me an intensive few months of Sect Leader training, so that he could hand off the reigns sooner, before his qi deviations get really bad. He resolved himself to not see you during those months, because he said you distract him too much.”
“No, he—” Jiang Cheng starts, putting his head in his hands. “That’s not how that conversation went.”
“Clearly, it’s not,” Nie Huaisang says drily. “But we both know da-ge and we know you. Both of you tend to draw your own conclusions. Da-ge thought he made himself perfectly clear—asking for a few months with nothing but letters for contact—and you thought he was breaking up with you. I can see where you would get that idea from, don’t take me wrong—da-ge is horribly bad at wording things—but it’s not what he wanted. He’s moping and heartbroken at home. I didn’t even get any training yet.”
“You hate training,” Jiang Cheng mutters, his head spinning.
“I like logistics and getting people to do what I want,” Nie Huaisang corrects. “And I would like my brother to be happy again,” he tacks on, with a raised eyebrow.
Jiang Cheng swallows.
“He doesn’t want to take a wife?” he asks, just to make sure. “He doesn’t want to sire an heir?”
“He does want to adopt a kid with the guy he had been courting for a while,” Nie Huaisang says, absolutely nonchalant as if it’s not blowing Jiang Cheng’s mind to hear that Nie Mingjue thought about a little family of their own.
“Really?” Jiang Cheng asks, his voice full of hope and his heart hammering away in his chest.
“Really,” Nie Huaisang assures him, finally picking up his fan and flicking it open with the by now so familiar gesture.
“I think I have to cut your visit here short, then,” Jiang Cheng says, already scrambling to his feet.
“You go on ahead,” Nie Huaisang waves him off, draping himself over the table. “The flight here was way too exhausting for me.”
“Sure,” Jiang Cheng says, rolling his eyes, but not actually bothering to convince Nie Huaisang.
If he flies alone he can push himself as much as he wants, and then he gets to see Nie Mingjue sooner.
~*~*~
Jiang Cheng doesn’t bother to announce his arrival and Nie Mingjue’s disciples clearly don’t deem it necessary to do it, either, it seems, because Jiang Cheng simply barges into Nie Mingjue’s quarters without anyone telling him.
“What are you doing here?” Nie Mingjue asks him, his voice rough and Jiang Cheng sees the dark circles under his eyes and how pale he is.
It seems they both didn’t deal well with the temporary break-up.
“Huaisang invaded Lotus Pier,” Jiang Cheng tells him and Nie Mingjue immediately draws himself up.
“Whatever he said, don’t listen to him. I respect your choice,” Nie Mingjue reassures him and Jiang Cheng wants to go to him and hug him and kiss him, but for now he simply rolls his eyes.
“He said there was a misunderstanding.”
“A what?”
“You said you need someone to take over the Sect. You never mentioned Huaisang. I thought you meant you want to take a wife,” Jiang Cheng explains in as little words as possible, because he is dying with the urge to finally get his hands on Nie Mingjue again.
“A wife,” Nie Mingjue repeats and blinks. “If anything she would be the second wife, because I intent to marry you.”
Jiang Cheng flushes bright red at that, but his heart is dancing in his chest. With happiness, for a change.
“Yeah, I should hope so,” Jiang Cheng says and dares to step closer. “But I understand duty to your Sect and so when you said it like that—”
“You thought I would ask you to step back so I can focus on my Sect. You would have allowed me to take a wife?” Nie Mingjue asks and Jiang Cheng shrugs.
“Duty comes first,” he says because if he learned anything in his youth then it’s that. “I understand that. I didn’t like it, but it sounded sensible to me.”
“Nothing about that is sensible, I love you, what the hell would I ever do without you?”
Find someone else to love, Jiang Cheng wants to say, but Nie Mingjue doesn’t let him, because with two big steps he’s right in front of him and he doesn’t hesitate to crush Jiang Cheng to his chest.
“What would I even do without my heart?” he whispers again and Jiang Cheng’s resolve is broken.
He slings his arms around Nie Mingjue and presses himself as close as he can get, his breath leaving him in shuddering bursts.
“I didn’t like it,” Jiang Cheng chokes out. “I missed you so much. I love you.”
“Never think something like this again,” Nie Mingjue begs him. “I would never do that to you, not for any duty in the world.”
“Okay,” Jiang Cheng weakly says and Nie Mingjue presses a kiss to his head.
“Not for any duty,” he repeats and Jiang Cheng nods.
“Okay, alright,” he gets out, his voice choked up with tears.
For once they are tears of happiness because he’s finally back where he belongs.
Link to my ko-fi
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plus-size-reader · 4 years ago
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Crush
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Philip “Lip” Gallagher x Plus size!reader
Word Count: 1726 words
Warnings: none 
Summary: Lip develops a crush on the reader, Fiona’s childhood best friend
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Fiona'd had friends of hers in and out of the house since Lip was a kid, but no one more so than you.
You were arguably her best friend in the entire world and everyone knew it. For the better part of both of your lives, you’d been inseparable and it was only natural that you get close with the rest of her family.
In a way, for them, it was like you were a part of their family, and even Frank spoke highly of you, which in itself was a feat. They just all seemed to love you.
Unfortunately though, as Lip got older, he didn't seem to feel the same way.
It wasn't that he didn't love you, because he did, and you were very important to him. It was just that he didn’t feel the same way for you that the rest of the Gallaghers did.
More than anything, he was in awe of you for everything that you were. You were confident and gentle, with more heart and soul than anyone he’d ever known. You were sweet, and caring, while also being a huge badass.
To Lip, you were everything.
...But he knew the truth.
You saw him as nothing more than your best friend's annoying baby brother, and that was never going to change. What did change though was how Lip wanted you to see him.
He didn’t want to be that in your eyes, not when he could be so much more.
Not that you could ever know that.
Lip was positive that he would die if you ever found out how he really thought about you. Nothing could ever be more embarrassing, especially because he had a pretty good idea of how it would go.
You were the one woman in the world he couldn't be confident around, and it had everything to do with the history you two shared.
You had helped Fiona raise him; and Ian, and Deb, and Carl. Hell, even now, you picked Liam up from daycare three days of the week.
You knew everything about every single one of the Gallaghers and the crush that Lip harbored wasn't going to be anything more than a cute little joke.
What you didn't seem to realize was that Lip was a grown man now.
He didn't need you to take care of him now, not anymore.
You were no longer the girl who came around and bothered him when he tried to hang out by himself, and you certainly weren't the girl who'd found his playboys under his bed and put them back without a word anymore either.
You were attainable, as far as age, feelings, and experience went but that didn't mean that Lip could make you his.
Every member of his family was too invested in all this for him to start going out with you, not to mention that Fiona would never allow it. She would sooner end his life than let him be with you.
So Lip kept quiet.
It was much easier to do than opening that can of worms.
He opened the refrigerator door slowly, his hand lazily falling on the neck of the bottle. It was as if the motion was a habit by now, and he didn't even have to think about it.
Across the kitchen was you, giggling at whatever was being said over the phone. He didn't know who you were talking or what it was all about; all he knew was that you were having an amazing time.
There was nothing Lip wouldn't do to hear that laugh but he just wished that he could be the one making you act that way.
Knowing that he couldn’t was more than enough to anger the younger male, who slammed his near-empty bottle down on the counter without a word and stormed out.
You hadn’t really been paying attention to him before that, but you couldn’t help but notice that he was gone. It would have been impossible not to but what you didn't know was why?
It certainly couldn’t have had anything to do with you.
You had just been on the phone with your cousins in Jersey. They spent most of the time arguing with one another more than talking to you, but they were also a laugh riot.
...But Lip didn’t know that.
In his mind, you had been laughing and carrying on with the greasy yet somehow charming usher from the theatre who loved you. He hit on you all the time and it wouldn’t have surprised Lip if you’d hooked up with him.
There was no way for him to think about it that didn't make his blood boil.
You were his, you just didn't know it yet.
~ Normally, you would have let Lip be.
Sometimes he could be dramatic and it was possible that he’d just gotten upset about something else and you’d read the room wrong. However, you had a feeling that wasn’t the case.
So, naturally, you went to go check on him.
If you were wrong, you could just move on and go about your business, but if you were right, you might be able to make him feel better.
“Hey kid, what’s going on?” you asked, knocking lightly on his door frame to let him know that you were there. You didn’t want to say anything if he was busy, but he didn’t seem to be.
In fact, he was far from it.
Lip was just sitting there on his bed, his beer bottle long discarded on the floor. It was funny, or perhaps it would have been, if he wasn’t so clearly upset.
“Don’t call me that” he snapped, catching you off guard.
There was something so pointed and aggressive about the way he spoke and it shocked you. Maybe you had done something after all, but you had no idea what it was.
“Okay, sorry. Is there something going on?” you asked, doing your very best to be understanding, even though you were more and more confused with each passing moment.
You were just lost.
Nothing that was happening made any sense at all to you.  
“No, why would there be?” he questioned, that accusatory tone still evident in his voice.
You weren’t even sure why he wouldn’t just tell you what it was, but since you were clearly gonna have to pull it out of him, you sat down.
“Out with it?” you suggested, though you both knew it was more of an order. If he didn’t want you to call him a kid, he’d have to stop acting like one.
Usually, Lip was the most mature of the Gallagher siblings but times like these made you wonder if that was true. It didn’t really make sense that he couldn’t just tell you what was wrong.
He sighed at first, the deep sort of sigh that you’d gotten used to hearing in this house. Someone always had a problem that needed to be worked out, even Lip, apparently.
“I don’t like that you talk to that guy, he’s trash, even more than most of the people around here” he commented finally.
There was a casualness in the way he spoke, though you could see just how hard this was for him in his eyes.
“Who? What are you talking about Lip?” you asked, genuinely confused this time. Clearly he thought you were talking to someone else but you had no idea who it could be.
You haven't been seeing anyone new lately.
“That guy from the theatre, what’s his name-” He huffed, scrambling a little when it came to his name. Lip had always been so focused on how much he hated him that he didn’t pay attention to what he said.
All he knew was the guy was not good enough for you and he was tired of hearing about him.
“I haven’t talked to him in forever. Why do you even care?” you asked, finding it hard not to be offended that he clearly didn’t think very highly of you.
He assumed that you were just going out with whatever guy paid attention to you, and honestly, that hurt. You had never been that kind of girl, but even if you had, it wasn’t really his business.
“Because, you’re way too good for a guy like that” he groaned, going for broke. The cat was out of the bag and there was no getting it back in now.
Gingerly, Lip reached out to take your hand in his own, his fingers brushing over the back of your knuckles slowly. The skin of his hands was noticeably rougher than yours, likely to working construction over the summer, but you didn’t mind.
Instead, you chose to ignore the strange feeling that overtook you at the touch. This was Lip, and the fact that you were even in this position was not alright
You’d known him all your life.
“Lip-” you started, but he stopped you before you could continue.
He knew that as soona s you said what you needed to say, this would be over and he at least had to get out what he was thinking before that happened.
If this ruined any friendship you'd ever had, he had to know that he got it all out there.
“I care because the right guy for you is right here, I always have been” he continued, startling you with his admission but he was far from done. Lip had been sitting on his feelings for so long, it was almost a relief to be honest.
“I know you probably think it’s just some stupid crush but it’s far from that. I’m in love with you”
By the time he’d finished, the male was almost entirely out of breath but neither of you minded. In fact, you were just trying to wrap your mind around what he was saying.
Lip was in love with you? How was that possible?
“I have to go” you decided finally, the walls of the room felt like they were closing in and you could hardly even breathe. It was ridiculous that you were even considering this, but you couldn’t help it.
Was it possible you cared about him in that way? Then, as if you hadn’t been handed enough, you realized something. What happened when Fiona found out?
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champion-leon-imagines · 4 years ago
Text
Chronicles of Galar - Chapter 3: A loss & Gain of trust
This chapter is kinda sad at first. As a warning, a minor (and non-canon) character death that hit you hard and you don’t know what to do.. then you meet Leon and everything changes. Your level of friendship increases and he gives you comfort in a way, no other person would ever be able to give you. Comfort!Fluff.
"[Y/n]..", Cynthia's voice was sad and battered and that alerted you directly. Cynthia rarely called, and only when it was important or bad news. Her pitched voice suggested the worst. "I hate to have to say something like that over the phone .. ... Grandmother died .."
Your eyes widened and tears began to run down your cheeks. You had expected all sorts of things, but this news threw you completely off the mark.
"W-what ..? W-How ..? She was very healthy and not yet that old .. ", you mumbled sadly and clutched your smartphone tightly while more tears ran down your face. Professor Carolina, the village elder of Celestic Town and grandmother of Cynthia, was like a mother to you. Carolina had cared for you since the beginning of your trainer career. Since you lived in Sinnoh for several years and lived with her, the two of you cultivated such an intimate and harmonious relationship. Her death news had torn the ground from under your feet.
"She had a heart attack .. Caused by an allergic reaction after she had been exposed to the poison of an aggressive Roserade .. Roserades release a special toxin that has so far remained undiscovered by researchers, as they only eliminate it when they are really feel cornered and have to protect their offspring .. Grandmother had found a nest and wanted to study it from a safe distance, but one of the Roserades has lost its nerve. She fought for survival in the hospital for days, but .. ", Cynthia said and could no longer speak through her own tears .
"For days ...? And you call me NOW ..? Cynthia, I would have left everything and gone to Sinnoh .. "
"I didn't wanted to ruin your adventure in Galar. None of us expected that Grandmother ... would not survive .. The doctors also said at first that she was recovering nicely, but then her condition deteriorated so rapidly .... And then I was just too occupied and sad that I forgot to call you earlier. I am so sorry.."
You felt terrible. Not only because of the loss, but also because you screamed at Cynthia like this for not letting you know sooner. "Don't apologize .. I'm sorry if I sounded harsh .. I .. can't believe it .." you mumbled sadly and wiped your face.
"We all feel that way in Celestia Town.. Believe me .. The .. funeral is next week .. on Wednesday ... Are .. are you coming ..? "
"Of course I'll come .. Cynthia, thanks for everything you've done for me. I'll never forget Carolina .. I'll see you on Wednesday .. I love you, big sister, okay ..? "
"I love you too, little sister .. take good care of yourself."
With these words, Cynthia hung up and you dropped to your knees to completely give in to your emotions. You were crying so loud that your brother and his fiancée ran from the study straight to your room and wanted to know what was going on.
It wasn't long before you felt overwhelmed by the comforting hugs and words of your real family. You gently pushed the two of them away and stood up. "Sorry .. But I would like to be alone for a moment .. I'll go for a walk ..", you said and walked to the door.
"Now..? Do you took a look outside? It's raining cats and dogs. Take an umbrella with you at least. ", Aki said , worried and crossed her arms.
"I don't mind .. It's just water .. I'll .. I'll come back later, okay ..?", You smiled sadly and raised your hand to say goodbye before you just stormed out into the rain. Aki shook her head and collapsed onto the hotel couch. You and them currently stayed in Motostoke.
“I never realized how close the relationship was between her and Professor Carolina. Her death hits her as hard as if a family member had died. ", Aki said quietly.
"She was a family member for her." Mamoru began sadly. “When [Y/n] lived in Sinnoh after our parents started to argue daily, the professor behaved like a mother to her. She raised [Y/n] without hesitation, and became more or less like a little sister to Cynthia. Professor Carolina was the caring mother, our mother couldn't be at that time. So I understand that her death takes [Y/n] with it ... ", he explained.
"Shouldn't we then follow her and be there for her?", Aki insisted. Mamoru shook his head slightly.
"No. She said she wants to be alone. My sister is strong. She won't do anything stupid. Let's give her some time. And when she has recovered, she will come back and then we can still be there for her. ", he smiled confidently.
"If she hasn't caught pneumonia by then.", Aki sighed slightly. Mamoru smiled sadly.
“Then we mustn't blame her. This is what she needs least of all at the moment. "
You ran around aimlessly in the rain for a few minutes until you lost your strength and sat down on a wet bench. Your clothes were soaked and your hair was stuck to your face so that you could barely see anything. But you didn't really care about that at the moment. You pulled back your knees and put your arms around them as you leaned your head on your drawn knees and sobbed softly into them. You couldn't even say goodbye to Carolina .. You wanted to tell her so much, show her so much .. So many things were unsaid .. For example, how grateful you were that she welcomed you so warmly .. How much you appreciated you had learned and how much you  loved to bake Christmas cookies with her one last time .. that was all over now. That thought just didn't go into your head.
Minutes passed. The minutes turned into hours and the rain just wouldn't stop. It was like the heaven cried for her too. Not that it helped in any way, because your own tears just wouldn't stop. At some point you could only hear the rain, but the droplets didn't seem to hit you anymore.
'Have my senses become so numb that I can no longer feel the rain on me ..?' You thought bitterly and then looked up. You blinked perplexed when a red cape was stretched over you. You saw Leon, who was holding his big cape over him and you and protecting both of you from the rain.
"You didn't choose a good day to sit out here." Leon laughed slightly until he saw that it wasn't just rainwater that had moistened your face. Your gloomy eyes made his smile fade and he held the cape over you more generously. "Did you .. cry ..?" He asked quietly. Normally you would have been happy to meet him here, but under the current circumstances, you couldn't utter a single word. Instead, you bit your lip to hold back more tears. Unsuccessful as it seemed, because more tears ran down your cheeks again and made you sob softly in response.
Leon seemed a little overwhelmed. How should he behave now? Nobody has ever cried in front of them, especially not a woman. The purple-haired man looked around for help until he noticed that his hotel was not far from here. "You don't have to speak right now, but we should get dry first, don't you think so?" He smiled and you nodded slightly when you got up. Then, under the protection of his cape, you ran to the hotel. As he entered, Leon called the receptionist to bring fresh clothes and a towel to his room. And a hot tea. You two went to an elevator and drove to the floor where his room was.
Once there, Leon took the towel and rubbed your hair dry. Then there was a knock on the door and the room service had brought a sleeping gown that you could slip into for the time being. Leon gratefully accepted the  gown and handed it to you.
“I'm going to have a look after the tea. So you can change in peace. ", He smiled and patted your head lightly before he got up and left the room. You looked after him slightly. The tears finally stopped, but you still felt miserable. Although another emotion was budded in your heart. A warm, pleasant feeling.. You were glad that someone was looking after you at the moment .. and he was so thoughtful.
A few minutes passed before there was a knock on the door. "It's me," Leon called. "Can I come in?" He asked, not wanting to burst in while you were changing. You thanked him very much for his courteous manner.
"Y-yes. I've already finished dressing. ", You said a little broken. The door opened and Leon held a small tray with the tea on it. He saw you on the hotel bed. The towel around your shoulders and in the hotel's white night gown. He smiled a little, because you didn't seem so exhausted anymore. After placing the tray on the bedside table, he sat down next to you.
"How are you?" He asked.
"Terrible .." you replied quietly. "But better than before," you added after seeing Leon a little worried.
"Would you like to talk now about what happened?" He asked further, looking at you.
"... The woman who practically raised me ... and was like a mother to me ... died." You wiped away the new tears and sobbed softly. "She was such a wonderful person .. Why did she have to die so early .."
Leon was silent for a moment and then looked sadly at the floor. His hands clenched into a fist and he didn't even know how to react.
"Professor Carolina ..?" Leon didn't even had to guess, since he already knew a lot about your past. You nodded sadly and Leon's face grew sadder. "I'm really sorry about that .. My deepest condolences .." he said sadly.
"Thanks ..", you mumbled and hugged yourself, trying to find some warmth.
"If I can do anything for you .. Tell me.", He offered you and you looked next to you. You swallowed lightly and sighed.
"Can you .. just hug me ..?" You asked softly. Leon blinked slightly. Although you had met a few times, both of you hardly had any physical contact so far. Except for a short, half-hearted hug as a greeting. This time it was different.
"Of course," he replied immediately and put his arms around your trembling body to pull you close. You buried your face right in his jersey and wrapped your arms around his stomach.
"Thank you ..", you whispered softly and muffled when you felt how he caressed your back soothingly.
"Don't mention it." he said and hugged you to give you the greatest possible comfort. You and Leon lingered in that embrace in silence. Your sobs grew quieter and your breathing became calmer. At some point the purple-haired man noticed that your eyes were closed. You must have fallen asleep. Leon smiled a little and laid you on the bed properly before covering you and caressing your cheek. Then he looked at his smartphone, which was about to remind him of an appointment. He got up and wanted to go when he noticed how you grabbed his hand and prevented him from going. "[Y/n] ..?"
"Please don't go now .. I .. don't want to .. be .. alone ..", you stuttered with half-open eyes. Your [e/c] irises shone from all the weeping and Leon looked at you desperately. He thought about his appointment and sighed. Then he put his other hand on top of yours and smiled.
"Alright. I'll stay with you. ", He said and sat down on the bed again. You smiled gratefully and pressed his hand to your cheek.
"Thank you ...", you mumbled softly and then held up your other hand, asking that he lay down next to you. Leon smiled and lay down next to you to pull you into his arms and hug you. You both looked at each other for a while before closing your eyes and falling asleep.
On the next morning, Leon's voice woke you up. He didn't sounded angry, but a little louder than usual. And he seemed to be talking to someone. You opened your eyes and blinked when you saw Leon pacing up and down the room.
“I told you Oleana. I couldn't meet with President Rose on this appointment because there was an emergency. ... a private emergency. No, it didn't concern me personally, but ... ... Now please listen to me. ", Leon sighed and rubbed his face in annoyance. You just couldn't talk sensibly to this woman. “Of course, I am aware of the consequences if I fail to keep important appointments for no good reason. But the reason was important to me. And I don't care if you see it any other way. … Yes, then tell President Rose that we will postpone the appointment until next week. ”He hung up and sighed deeply again. "I wouldn't want to work with this woman .." he mumbled quietly and turned around. He saw that you were awake and looked at him in shock. "Oh..“
"You had an appointment with President Rose yesterday ...?" You asked and Leon averted his gaze guiltily. "Why did not you say anything..? I wouldn't have held you here if I had known that you had an important appointment .. ", You said ashamed and straightened up.
"You needed someone.", Was his only answer when he looked at you again. His words only made you more shocked.
"You had put my well-being over your appointments ..?", You asked incredulously and put your hand over your mouth. Leon smiled and walked towards you when he put his big hand over your head.
"Of course. I can always make up or postpone appointments. But you cannot control your feelings. That's why .. it was more important to me to be there for you than to give Rose another stupid interview about why I'm the unbeatable champion. ", He said with a charming smile.
You felt like you were about to start crying again. This time, however, not from grief. The warmth of this man simply took in every fiber of your body and you literally threw yourself into his arms after these words. Leon blinked in astonishment before putting his arms around you and hugging you again as you buried your nose in his neck.
"I-I'm sorry, only because of me...Because of me your schedule got messed up .. I'll make it up to you, I promise," You said quietly. Leon laughed softly before pulling away a little and caressing your cheek.
“If you want to make it up, then .. I know of a small, cozy ice cream parlor. That serves the BEST Alcremie sundae in Galar. How does that sound? ”He asked and winked. You smiled and your grief was almost forgotten for that moment.
"Sounds good."
Since that day the friendship of you had reached a new, more intimate level.
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snackleggg · 4 years ago
Text
City of splintering hopes: Chapter 1 "Frosty conversations"
~~~
Ao3
~~~
Frostbite quickly seemed to realise what he had said and stopped talking, immediately dropping his usually happy attitude. Danny was still processing what he had said.
"Hey Frosty?" Danny asked during one of his semi-regular visits to the Far Frozen.
"Yes Great One?" Frostbite replied as he finished up checking that Danny had fully recovered from a terrible case of the ghost flu he had caught a few days ago.
"You and the other Yetis seem to know alot about my hybrid physiology when I don't even know that. How come?" Danny asked. It was an innocent enough question. Jazz had pointed it out just before he left for his visit and he hadn't been able to shake it from his mind since.
"Well, of course!" Frostbite said with a boisterous laugh "You think you are the only Halfa to have ever allied with our tribe? We have always been friends to your kind Great One!" Frostbite said back with a carefree kind of happiness before he realized what he had just accidentally spilled.
Now they stood there in heavy silence as Danny processed the meaning behind Frostbite's words.
"Other Halfas!?" Danny all but screeched as he nearly fell from where he was sitting with the realisation of what Frostbite said.
Frostbite looked uncomfortable to say the least. He seemed to look around at anything but Danny as he replied "Y-Yes of course! You didn't think you and those two others were the only ones of your kind." Suddenly Frostbite looked Danny in the eye with concern "Did you Great One?"
Danny couldn't reply.
By the heavy look Frostbite was giving him it seemed like there was something deeper to this subject than he was realising. Danny just shook his head.
"Mmm no, the only other Halfas I've ever met were Dani and Vlad" Danny said matter-of-factly. By the look Frostbite was giving him it was obvious he was missing something, some unspoken fact that hung in the air just out of his reach.
Frostbite suddenly broke from his gaze as he huffed while looking to the side "That Plasmius should be ashamed of himself to even dare call himself a Halfa. He may be there biologically but none of his actions reflect on your people" Frostbite said with a tone of bitterness, a tone that was slightly sharper than the bitterness he usually talked with when talking about Vlad.
"Yeah, totally agree, 100% but back to the topic at hand I have a people!?" Danny's brain was trying to understand this new revelation. In a way it answered alot of questions that he had never really thought about. How were the ghosts able to tell he wasn't a full ghost. Why had Pointdexter known to call him a Halfa as if it was a common term. Why ghosts just didn't seem all that surprised about the existence of some weird hybrid. Of course Vlad could've had a part in that but Vlad was always too busy in his cheese castle plotting revenge to really interact with many ghosts outside of hiring them to do his dirty work.
But it also brought up a while slew of new questions. Where had these other Halfas come from? Definitely couldn't be another lab accident caused by his parents. Why wasn't there any information about the existence of ghost human hybrids on earth if there were enough Halfas around to be considered a people, a kind, not just an anomaly that repeated a few times but by the sounds of it some sort of society? And most importantly, where were they!? Danny had never ran into anyone like himself apart from Vlad and Dani.
He looked at Frostbite, trying to pick which question was the most important to ask first. It seemed Frostbite was blissfully unaware of his internal struggle as he just went on.
"Well yes Great One. The Halfas were a strong and prosperous people.... I suppose there isn't really a way for you to know that but I am surprised this is the first you are hearing about this" Frostbite said awkwardly.
Danny probably looked like a fish with how much he was opening and closing his mouth without a word coming out. Finally he managed to say something past his shock.
" 'were'?" Danny asked, his hopes at meeting someone like him suddenly beginning to die.
Frostbite just nodded, avoiding looking at him again as a sorrowful look came upon his face "Yes, Pariah Dark" Frostbite said the name like it was something foul and Danny was inclined to agree "wiped them all out when he sensed they would be a threat to his throne"
Danny almost snorted at that.
Pariah Dark sounded like a character in a tragedy or a myth in that context. In trying to stop Halfas from dethroning him he was indirectly responsible for a Halfa dethroning him. Okay maybe not responsible, Danny would've done it whether the race of people had still been around or not but still the irony was there. So was the karma.
Then he focused on the more depressing part of what Frostbite had said.
"Oh" so there really wasn't anyone else. He shouldn't have gotten his hopes up.
"But!" Frostbite said, a little bit of a cheer coming back to him "the ruins of their old city still stands! Maybe, if you are interested in knowing more, you could visit them? Of course everyone here in the Far Frozen would be more than happy to recount stories of other Halfas to you Great One but our knowledge is limited. Even with our friendship with them, they were always a secretive bunch" Frostbite explained.
Danny didn't really know what to think of the offer. It wouldn't be the same as actually talking to another Halfa but it would still be something, right?
"I'll... think about it" Danny said.
He had gone through too many revelations in too short a time span and he really just wanted to crawl into bed and take a nice long nap, which he could do since it was the weekend.
"Of course Great One. It is entirely up to you what you do" Frostbite said with a smile.
The rest of the visit seemed to fly by but the conversation he had with Frostbite was stuck at the back of his head. He kept on wondering about the other Halfas.
Were they nice? What kind of society did they have? Had they ever been to Earth or did they live exclusively in the Ghost Zone? Why were they as secretive as Frostbite said? Even to their own allies? Why had Pariah felt so threatened by them? Were they really that powerful? What will I find if I go to these ruins?
Even after he left to go back home the thoughts of a people just like him, a people long gone, lingered in his mind.
He was distracted.
He knew Frostbite and the other Yetis had noticed it even if they didn't comment on it but Jazz was alot more proactive about these sort of things. She noticed the far away look Danny had as they were eating dinner and afterwards pulled him off to the side as their parents went back down to work in the lab.
"What's up?" She asked.
"Nothing" Danny mumbled. He didn't know if Jazz would understand his dilemma. Sure he was born human but thinking about the possibility of other Halfas, even if he hadn't been born one, it made his core clench with a need to learn more, to find them
"It's obviously not nothing, you've been distracted ever since you came back from visiting the Far Frozen. What happened?" Jazz asked.
Danny couldn't meet her gaze. He didn't know how to fraze it, to tell her about all the spiraling thoughts in his head, the confusing feelings in his core.
"Danny" Jazz said seriously.
Finally Danny caved and told her about the conversation he had with Frostbite about other Halfas. He told her about his feelings and thoughts on the matter. It was like the dam that had been filling for the last few hours had broken and suddenly Danny was exasperated as he finished recounting everything.
"Other Halfas...." Jazz said thoughtfully.
Danny nodded. For some reason he felt guilty, he felt like he was betraying his family by trying to explore this part of himself.
Jazz, thank the ancients for the observation skills she definitely didn't get from their parents, noticed Danny's dip in mood and quickly went to comfort him.
"Hey, you shouldn't feel bad about this. It makes sense you'd want to find and learn about people who might've gone through similar struggles" Jazz said as she put her hand on Danny's shoulder, a grounding gesture which he was silently thankful for.
"But I feel bad about how if I do learn about this then I'll be keeping more secrets from mom and dad. I already feel terrible lying to them about The accident" Danny shrunk into himself. It's not that he wanted to keep lying to his parents but the perpetual fear of them not accepting him hung over his head heavily and he feared now that if he tried to explore and learn about these people who were like him it would only give his parents more reason to distance him from the family if they found out.
"Danny, look at me" Jazz urged and Danny barely managed to meet her gaze. It was determined and honest, an immovable rock he needed in the swirling river that was his thoughts.
"You don't have to go there if you don't want to but you shouldn't jump to the conclusion that it will only make everything worse. Think about it but don't forget that just as many good things could come from this as bad things" Jazz said and Danny nodded along. That made sense.
"Yeah. I guess the concept just kinda overwhelmed me" Danny said and suddenly he felt emotionally drained all over again.
"Go on, get some rest. Sleep on it but there really isn't a time limit" Jazz encouraged and she was right but Danny felt like if he did want to go then it might be better to do it sooner rather than later.
He crashed onto his bed not really knowing what to think. A few hours ago he was excited by the prospect but now he dreaded what he might find at those ruins, what secrets the Halfas kept hidden away even from those closest to them.
Danny almost laughed at the parallels as he thought about his own secretive situation with his parents. He was in no place to preemptively judge.
Finally he went to sleep.
Dreaming of a lullaby he never heard and a city of people he would never meet.
~~~
First | Previous | Next
~~~
I'll be tagging all content do to with this story with the tag City of splintering hopes so if guys want to you can follow the story easier. You can also use that tag for any questions or content you guys make of the story!
Hope you all like this first chapter!
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potterbite · 4 years ago
Text
i can only be me with you
After one of Buck’s heroics spreads all over the news, Eddie finally sees what happened above ground when he was trapped almost a year before. 
On AO3.
As Buck and the team hops out of the firetruck, the rest of the station starts applauding; some are early for their shift that’s about to start, others preparing to head home. About twelve of fifteen people are just standing there, grinning at Buck.
“What - ?” Buck begins, looking to the others for some confirmation that they know what this is about. However, they all seem just as confused as he feels.
As the applauds die down, Bobby speaks up.
“What was that about?”
One of the women on the upcoming shift grins. “It’s gone viral.”
“What has?”
“The video from earlier today of Buck jumping out of that window to save the little girl.”
Oh. 
At this, Hen and Chim laugh while Eddie gives him a nudge on the shoulder, muttering, “Now you’re just like Firefox.”
-----
The thing is, it’s not like he had the time to think it through before jumping out of the window on the eight floor; it was all instinct, seeing that little girl fall through it with nobody else close by to help her. But on some level, he knew he still had the harness around his middle and he trusted his team enough to fully believe they would catch that rope before it was too late.
So he flew through the crashed window barely two seconds after the screaming five year old and caught her around the waist; she was so stunned she paused her screaming. They came to an abrupt stop at the fourth floor, hanging like a couple of ragdolls, and he could’ve sworn he heard someone from up above swear loudly in spanish. 
But it’s not like he thought that someone might be filming it all and uploading it to every social media plattform known to mankind or that it would be on all the big news channels less than six hours later. 
He won’t lie, he kind of likes it. But he’s still exhausted by the time he pulls the key out of the ignition in the driveway. He leans his head back and closes his eyes; his phone is finally quiet, blissfully so, after ringing every three minutes since he finished work four hours ago. Granted, he did turn off sound and vibration so the quiet might be thanks to that but he doesn’t dare to look and check for number of missed calls in the last thirty minutes.
A rapt knock on the driver window makes him jump, the top of his head hitting the roof of the car with a thump and his legs slamming into the steering wheel.  
He curses in pain, but still hears the muffled laughter; he flips the other person off. 
“Nice one,” Eddie comments as he opens the car door. Buck just grunts in response, shaking his legs a couple of times as he climbs out. 
“Don’t sneak up on a person like that.”
Eddie raises both eyebrows. “You’re sitting in my driveway. Chris heard you and wanted me to check you weren’t a murderer.”
Buck grins at this. “And he made you go alone?”
“I didn’t say it was logical. Now come on, dinner is almost ready.”
At least three or four times a week, Buck goes over to the Diaz house for dinner and to hang out with two of his favorite people. Also, ever since Eddie broke it off with Ana a few weeks back, Buck’s been afraid that Eddie might feel lonely. Whenever he asks about her though, Eddie doesn’t say much about the break up, only that it had been amicable and then he always gets this tinge of red on his cheeks that Buck absolutely does not find cute. 
“Hey kiddo!” Buck calls out as they enter the house through the kitchen door.
“Bucky! You’re on TV,” Chris replies and Buck sighs, standing next to Eddie by the counter. 
“I can’t look at that shit anymore,” he murmurs and the other man smirks.
“Not all it’s cracked up to be, being a celebrity?”
“I - “ 
“Bucky! Come see, they’re showing when you tried to save Dad, too,” Chris calls and well, Buck isn’t sure but it would seem his entire stomach flips at these words. 
Eddie goes still, a frown on his face. “What’s he talking about?”
Buck will absolutely not blush. “Probably just heard him wrong.”
“Dad! It’s really cool when Bucky screams like that, come see!”
Buck straightens. “He really shouldn’t be allowed to watch the news by himself, I’ll go put a movie on.”
He takes big strides towards the living room, but before he makes it all the way Eddie swishes past him as if he’s got wings. Eddie picks up the remote and rewinds a couple of minutes. And honestly, for a man claiming he hates technology, Eddie really loves that smartTV, even though he didn’t even know he could rewind until Buck showed him (something he regrets now). 
It’s not like Buck is ashamed of how he reacted that day when the ground collapsed on top of Eddie. Not really. It’s more that it feels like a pandora’s box he’s only ever opened on that day and he’s now deathly afraid of what will happen when he peeks under the lid again. 
But what can he do except stand there behind the couch next to Eddie and watch as the other man finds the right moment and press play? 
“Yes! Let’s watch it over and over again,” Chris claps. Buck ruffles a hand over his hair in response and the boy giggles.
“When was - ?” Eddie starts, but then he seems to recognize the farm. “Oh.”
In silence, they listen to the news anchor saying what a good guy Evan Buckley is and how he lost it when one of his own team members went under. There’s a drone shot from the moment of the collapse. A close-up on Buck’s face as he screams, and Bobby scooping him up.
Buck had known there were news teams there, of course, but he hadn’t realized they’d gotten him on camera as well. He’d ignored all reports from that day, preferring to not think about all the thousand things that could’ve gone wrong, so he’s never seen this before. But obviously, Eddie hasn’t either given the way he stares open mouthed at the screen. 
When he turns his head to look at Buck, Buck just shrugs sheepishly at him.
“That was so cool, right dad?” Chris grins, and Buck sees Eddie’s face soften. 
“Yeah, it was.” He looks up and meets Buck’s eyes for the fraction of a second and there’s another jolt in Buck’s stomach. “Time for dinner.”
-----
They don’t talk about what they saw on the news for the entire dinner or during the movie. 
Well, Chris does bring it up one time when he turns to Buck and asks, “Would you scream like that if I disappeared too?” with honesty only a child can muster. Buck doesn’t really know what to say to this so he grins and promises that he sure would. 
But even though Eddie acts normal, Buck can feel it in the air or when their eyes meet. It’s as if Eddie is screaming to say something but doesn’t want to in front of his son. Buck has no idea what that would be, because there’s no way Eddie could tell from those fast glimpses what really went on inside his head. The repeated mantra of ‘not him, not him, not him’ was not seen in his eyes, he’s sure of that.
If it were, Eddie would’ve caught on earlier. Maybe when he, Eddie, started dating Ana. Or when he broke it off with her. That fire inside of Buck’s soul dimming and glowing stronger was not visible through his eyes, because that would mean he’d lose his best friend. And that was not an option. 
But he’s still nervous when it’s time for Chris to sleep; is this the last time he’ll say goodnight to Chris like this? So when the boy takes Buck’s hand and says, “Can you do it instead of Dad?” he does. Eddie stays in the doorway to Chris’ room, silently watching as Buck tucks the boy in. 
“Buck?” Chris whispers so quietly Buck has to lean forward to hear.
“Yeah?” he whispers back.
Chris reaches for Buck’s face and moves it so he can whisper the words right by his ear. “I think he loves you, too.”
Buck blushes, straightening a bit. “Um, thanks buddy,” he replies, his voice still barely a whisper. He sneaks a glance at Eddie, who thankfully doesn’t appear to have heard the silent conversation. Then louder he adds, “Sleepy time.”
Chris nods happily, and has fallen asleep within three minutes of Buck reading his favorite book. 
As he stands up to leave the room, Eddie enters to give Chris a kiss on the forehead. Buck stays in the living room, not sure if he should take his opportunity to leave or just get this over with so he’ll know if their friendship is ruined or not.  
Before he has made up his mind, Eddie comes out and closes the door behind him. Buck opens his mouth to say something, anything, when Eddie meets his eyes and Buck sucks in a breath. 
“I’ve never seen that before,” Eddie says. Buck doesn’t even question what ���that’ is, since he can only be talking about the video of Buck screaming at the top of his lungs. 
“No,” Buck says stupidly. “I suppose not.”
“I wish I had though.”
“Oh?” Buck isn’t at all sure where this conversation is going, but for some reason Eddie keeps moving closer to him, so he has no choice but to lean against the wall. 
“Yeah.” Almost chest to chest.
Buck licks his lips and swallows. His stomach does another flip then, because Eddie most certainly followed that movement with his eyes. 
“Why?” Buck asks even though he has difficulties concentrating when all he can think about is if Eddie can feel the beating of his heart when their chests are touching like this. 
“‘cause we could’ve done this much sooner,” he replies and surges up for a kiss. 
Buck gasps, and he can feel the smirk against his own lips. So as soon as his brain has caught up with what’s happening, he pushes off from the wall and flips them as some kind of revenge. He presses Eddie against it instead which makes him groans, and as his lips open Buck takes advantage of that and sneaks inside. 
As they battle together and Eddie’s fingers caress his neck, Buck nudges his thigh in between Eddie’s legs and gets another groan in appreciation; Buck savors that vibration as if he’s starving. 
He feels as if they should slow down, talk about what’s happening, why neither of them has said anything and what’s going to happen next. But then Eddie bites gently in his lower lip, making him moan and Eddie swallows the sound greedily. 
As if it’s the most natural thing in the entire world, he starts to back Eddie into the master bedroom, closing the door with his foot once they are inside.
What the hell, they can talk tomorrow instead. 
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shoutaaizawas · 5 years ago
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Hi! I saw requests where open and I had a small idea. How about The fake dating AU with Izuku and the prompt “I think I’m in love with you.” If it’s okay, please and thank you!
thank you for the request i hope you enjoy!!
↳ izuku midoriya x reader → ❝wedding date❞
event: au prompts summary: you and midoriya are childhood friends and you’ve been in love since high school, before you can stop yourself you offer to be his date to his mother’s wedding to make his mom happy. word count: 2,663 tags/warnings: fake dating, fluff, weddings a/n: okay i think toshinori/inko is super cute so don’t mind me fitting them into this
In hindsight, this was a bad idea but they say hindsight is 20/20. You probably should have seen this coming in the first place.
Izuku Midoriya had been your best friend since you were both kids The first day of Kindergarten you were riding or die. You had been through everything together and were always there for each other. You had both been quirkless at the time and bonded over it. You would always stick up for him and he would do the same for you.
Things had changed when you went to high school. You had both planned on going to UA and you did but you had expected Midoriya to be in the general ed classes with you not in the hero course. It was hard being away from your closest friend but it didn’t stop your friendship. You were so happy for him that he had a chance to follow his dreams.
That wasn’t the only thing that changed, as you got older your platonic feelings had turned into romantic ones. It was hard being so close to someone you cared about so much but your friendship came first and you wouldn’t risk it to be selfish. It was easier to tell yourself he could never like you like that, how could he when he had so many amazing girls that he could date in the hero course? Izuku never looked down on anyone in general education but why would anyone from the hero course date someone who wasn’t a hero?
Once you graduated you pursued your career in the behind the scenes of pro hero work. Izuku was quick to establish himself as an amazing hero and quickly opened an agency himself. You were the first person he told and the first person he hired.
It was a usual Friday night eating takeout in his office trying to finish up all the paperwork from the week. You laugh at a story he tells you from patrol. It’s nice, it’s familiar. Izuku is tall and manly now but it still feels like when you were kids hanging out at his house playing with his All Might figures.
“My mom won’t say it but I know she really wants me to bring a girlfriend to the wedding.” He sighed. You smile but feel a sting of pain at the thought of a girl on his arm.
“I’m sure you can find one, I’m sure there’s a line around the block already.” You tease.
“She doesn’t want just some random girl, she wants me to be dating someone seriously.” He explained. “I know she just wants to see me happy but I would rather go alone. It’s her day though, I don’t want to ruin it.”
“Why don’t you take Uraraka?” You offer, it makes you sick to say it but your his friend and it’d be wrong to withhold advice. You knew she always had a crush on Izuku, honestly, you thought they would have dated by now.
“No, I don’t like her like that.” He said.
Looking back you wish you had used your brain for once and thought it through before opening your mouth.
“Why don’t we go together?” Your blood turns to ice as the words come out before you can stop it. Stupid! What if he catches on that you like him? What if he’s upset that you offered? What if he laughs it off?
“Really?” He asks, one eyebrow raised.
“Uh, yeah. You know I’d do anything for your mom.” You say. While that’s true what you wanted to say you would do anything for him.
“I mean if you don’t mind. I think that would make her really happy.” He said with a shy smile.
“It’s a date.” You say with a smile but you mentally slapping yourself.
That’s how you ended up here, getting dressed for Izuku’s mother’s wedding. It was an event you had already planned to attend considering you were practically part of the family. You had even helped her pick out the decorations and her dress. You loved Inko.
You were excited for her, she deserved a husband that would love her and take care of her. Izuku’s father was never there for either of them, they both deserved more and they finally had it.
Who would have ever thought that Izuku’s step-father would be All Might? Well, Toshinori Yagi as you knew him now.
It made you laugh, you could imagine telling a young Izuku where he would be down the line. You could practically see the excited boy in front of you if you thought hard enough. When Izuku was having a hard time getting through things you always told him everything would be alright. You were happy that you were more than right about that.
“Bunny!” Izuku called out as he entered your apartment. You rolled your eyes at the nickname. You had loved bunnies as a kid, they were your favorite animal. You even had one as a pet. What Izuku didn’t know was that the reason you loved them so much was that they reminded you of him. “Are you ready?”
“Almost, just putting my earrings on!” You said as you put on the jewelry. You looked yourself over in the mirror admiring the dress Inko helped you pick out. It was Izuku’s favorite color, something you hadn’t consciously done. It was flowing and beautiful, perfect for the beach-side wedding.
Straightening the dress you walked out into the living room. You stopped as you caught sight of Izuku. He wore a classic black tuxedo with his hair loosely gelled back, stray hairs framing his face. Your heart nearly stopped at the sight. At the same time, Izuku stared at you.
“I-”
“You loo-”
Both of you spoke at the same time, stopping as you realized that you were talking over each other.
“Sorry, go ahead.” He said rubbing the back of his neck.
“Zuzu you look so handsome.” You teased him with the nickname you had given him as a child.
“You look stunning.” His words were so genuine that you nearly froze.
“Thank you.” You said with a smile. “We should get there soon, so we can help out with the last minute stuff.” You said looking at the door.
“You’re right, let’s go.” He said turning to leave.
The location they picked was beyond beautiful. A green cliffside overlooking the waves. As you walked in with Izuku it looked like things were nearly done. You were able to help with setting up some small details but before you knew it guest were arriving.
You took your seat next to Izuku in the front row. Toshinori stood at the arch waiting for his bride to be. You smiled at the retired hero. It was nice to see two people who deserved a respite from the lives they lead to find each other. They made each other happy and it warmed your heart. You could see Toshinori’s smile from your seat.
The sun was setting behind the arch leaving the sky looking almost fake with its beauty.
The music started and everyone stood to watch Inko enter. She looked beautiful in her white dress, tears already welling up in her eyes as she walked down the aisle.
Looking over at Izuku you saw the tears welling up in his eyes as he watched his mother. Without thinking you reached over taking his hand in yours, threading your fingers between his. His calloused hand was so much larger than yours, a big contrast from when you used to drag him along to the playground as children. You pressed your shoulder against his, even though his tears were happy you couldn’t stop the urge to soothe him.
As Inko approached Toshinori taking her place beside him, Izuku looked over at you. His eyes moved down to your connected hands before glancing back up at your eyes. There was a look on his face you couldn’t place.
Everyone sat down and you were shocked when you let go of his hand only for him to keep your hand close to his. You glanced at him but didn’t question it. He probably was just trying to stay in character.
The wedding was a moment you were so happy to be a part of. Their vows made you tear up not that you would admit it even if Izuku did see it happen. After everyone made their way to the reception area. The sun that was setting now was gone leaving the last lights of the day.
Everyone made their way to the new couple giving their well wishes to them. You and Izuku decided to wait a bit before going over, grabbing some champagne to ease your nerves.
“I told her already.” He said. “That we were going as a couple.” He clarified.
“Oh, good. It’d probably be pretty awkward to drop that on them now.” You said.
“Yeah.” He said. “She was really excited.”
That made your heart drop. What would you guys do after today? Pretend to date whenever you were around his mother? Or did you let her down quickly and say things just felt better as friends? This was a bad idea how could you have been so stupid to do this.
Before you could consider the repercussions of your actions Izuku was pulling you along to his mother and new step-father.
“Aww, honey!” Inko cooed as you both approached. She pulled him into a big hug nearly crushing him despite the height difference. As he did so you gave Toshinori a side hug, congratulating him as well.
“Congratulations, mom.” He said as pulled back smiling at his mom with tears in his eyes.
“Thank you, sweetie.” She said. “I should be saying the same to you too. I’m so happy for you both, I never said it but I always knew you two would end up together. I’m so happy you finally realized it.”
“Heh, yeah. I thought they would have figured it out a lot sooner.” Toshinori joked. Inko smacked his arm gently giving him an endearing look.
“It doesn’t matter I’m just so happy,” Inko said.
The wave of emotions that hit you was too much. You could feel yourself disassociate, it felt like everything around you was a blur. You could barely hear them talking in front of you. This was bad, you shouldn’t have done this. They were so happy. They had always thought you two should be together. How could you ever tell them, how could you ever move on to anyone else?
“Bunny?” You could hear Izuku’s voice muffled. It snapped you back to reality. “Are you okay?”
“I just need some water.” You lied, giving a smile to Toshinori and Inko before walking away as fast as you could without looking more suspicious.
The crowd around you felt so loud. You needed to get away. You made your way away from the reception back towards the cliffs the ceremony had taken place. You found a secluded spot in the darkness, the only light from the full moon glinting off of the ocean waves as they crashed down.
Taking a deep breath of salty air you felt better now that you had some distance but it didn’t remove the feelings in your chest that felt like they were suffocating you.
“Bunny,” You heard Izuku’s concerned voice from behind you. “Are you okay, why’d you run off?”
“Izuku this was a bad idea.” You said looking at him. “How are we supposed to tell your mom? We tell her that we lied? We tell her that it didn’t work out? I didn’t think this through.”
“Bunny, calm down.” He said, placing his hands on your shoulders. The weight of them brought immediate comfort.
“I feel so bad, Izu.” You said, your eyes filling with tears.
“What if we didn’t do any of those things?” He said looking down at you.
“What?” You questioned confused.
“We don’t tell her, we don’t break up.” He said.
“I don’t understand. If we keep pretending we’ll just dig ourselves in a bigger hole. Once the media finds out-”
“That’s not what I’m saying.” He interrupted. “What if we dated for real?”
“Y-You,” You stuttered out. Was he saying what you thought he was saying or were you just hearing what you wanted to hear so badly?
“Bunny, I-” He paused to take a deep breath, his right hand moved from your shoulder to the side of your neck. “I’ve had feelings for you for a long time, feelings that you don’t have for someone who’s just your friend.”
“Izuku-” You breathed, trying to wrap your head around it.
“I-I love you, I have for a long time.” He admitted. “The only reason I said yes to this was because I thought that maybe if we pretended for a night it would give me enough courage to tell you how I really feel.”
“Izuku-”
“If you don’t feel the same, please don’t feel obligated. I’ll tell my mom the truth about all of this and we can try and pretend it didn’t happen-” He said, his tone turning from sure to his usual rambling.
“Izuku!” You finally stopped him. “I feel the same way, that’s one of the reasons this was so hard. I couldn’t stand the thought of being so close to a relationship with you but so far away.”
“Oh.” He said.
“I’ve loved you since high school, I just never thought you’d feel the same. I mean your a pro hero, one of the best now. Why would you want to be with someone like me?” You admitted the insecurities that had plagued you for so long.
“How could you think that? You’re my best friend, you’ve been with me through everything. You were with me before I had a quirk before I was a hero and you’re still here being the most caring person in my life. How could anyone ever compare to you? No one comes close.” He said.
You didn’t consider yourself a crier but you couldn’t stop the tears that ran down your face. For so long you thought you weren’t good enough but here the love of your life was telling you no one could ever come close to you.
“Bunny, please don’t cry.” He said looking down at you were tears in his own eyes. He wiped away the tears that ran down your face. “I love you so much.”
He pulled you close, fingertips brushing the side of your face he looked down at you intensely with the green eyes you loved so much. It felt like the world stopped around you like all the breath had left your lungs.
“Can I kiss you?” He murmured softly as he leaned down towards you.
“Please.” You said, he didn’t hesitate meeting your lips with his own. Your arms wrapped around his neck pulling him in closer. One of his hands stayed at your neck while the other held your waist.
It was hard to let go of him, you had gotten everything you ever wanted in just a few minutes. But this wasn’t your night and you didn’t want to take Izuku away from his mother’s wedding.
Walking back hand in hand you felt like you were walking on air. Music played and people were on the dance floor, twirling in their partner’s arms to the melody.
Izuku looked down at you with a big smile, pulling you forward onto the dance floor. He wrapped his arms around your waist and your hands moved to his shoulders. He couldn’t resist leaning in for another brief kiss.
Dancing the night away, enjoying drinks and food in honor of the newly wedded couple felt like a perfect way to begin a relationship and would always stick in your mind as the best night of your life. That is until it was your time to walk down the aisle.
taglist:  @sugarmaplewings-fics @lilkiwisfinest @ewwis @kandy1410 @moonlightaangel @winnies-headcannons @bakugousidehoe @paintedr0ses1 @toobsessedsstuff @spellboundxizi @ourladyofseijoh  @x0doodlebug0x @katsushimaa @mooncademia
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beebubb · 3 years ago
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frankie the undead with hanahaki disease?
Frankie the undead with hanahaki disease
When the disease first started, it just began with a pain on his chest
He knew about the hanahaki disease but he didn't think he would get it. So he thought maybe it was just a random chest pain
He knew that someone could get it when you fell in love but...he wasn't in love, was he?
He always made sure to not get too close to anyone, how could he possibly like someone?
But the day when he woke up and felt like he had something in his throat, and finally coughed out a flower petal, he finally realized it.
He was in love.
At first he was pissed off at himself.
How could he possibly fall in love? How could he be such an idiot to do so? It's the number one thing he always told himself not to do.
He kept thinking of y/n
He always saw them as a friend but he knew that someone like them would never find him attractive or appealing in any way.
At first he tried to avoid them as much as possible. He didn't want to see them, maybe that way he would lose feelings.
But considence or not, he would always find them wherever he went
The first few times he would try and ignore them or push them away
But the more he did, the more his feelings grew
And so did the disease.
It was becoming an everyday thing of coughing up petals, untill he could actually feel the roots of the flower dig into his lungs
He wasn't worried about death sense he technically already was.
So the disease wouldn't bring him a fate of death, instead, an eternal suffering.
He can't die, so as long as he's in love, he'll have to live with disease for most of his life, untill he confesses or gets it surgically removed
confession
At first he didn't want to but....what if y/n actually DID like him back? What if they, somehow, managed to look past his cold exterior and actually liked him?
It was a possibility. He thought it wasnt likely, but hey, maybe it happened
And plus, if he confessed and they accepted, he would get rid of the disease AND get to have y/n as his S/O. So it was a win win situation
He usually spends his day offs catching up on sleep or just relaxing, but he ended up using the day to ask y/n to a date
He was a bit awkward asking them sense he isn't used to the whole dating thing. But was still glad when they accepted to go out.
Even if it was his first date with someone and despite all the stress, he actually enjoyed the date. He had fun and loved every second being with them
But the moment was ruined when he felt a petal coming up his throat, which just reminded him of why he even got the courage to ask y/n out
"Hey um, y/n, i need to tell ya something'. It's actually really important...to me"
When y/n asked what it was. He immediately felt his body pent up and But there was no backing away now
"I have feelings for you .....you could say that i....like you....and i know i can be an asshole sometimes but i'm actually glad to have ya around and be friends, but i was wondering if maybe....we could be more than that...?"
He just looked down at his hands, he wasn't confident on them saying yes but, he still had a bit of hope
Ending 1: accepting
"Frankie, i feel the same about you! I would love to be with you!"
his eyes immediatly widen and look up to them in surprise
"Wait, really?!? Are ya serious?! Ya ain't pulliny my leg here?!?"
He wasn't expecting that answer at all.
Yeah it's what he wanted but he actually didn't expect to get it
THEY actually wanted to date HIM??? The asshole zombie man?
Y/n smiled and confirmed their answer "of course i'm serious!"
He was happy and relieved
The disease would be gone, he would be with the person he liked, things couldn't get any better.
Ending 2: rejection
"I'm....sorry frankie but, i don't feel that way about you"
Of course they would say that.
What was he expecting? To have someone like y/n love an asshole and stitched up freak like himself?
His hands just turned into fists and immediatly got up and started walking away
"Wait! Frankie! Lets talk about this! We can still be friends!" They got up and started following him
Frankie ignored them and kept walking.
He still liked them of course, but, he didn't want to see them anymore.
He should have stuck to just being alone. That way he wouldn't have liked them in the first place, all of this was all his fault.
He kept on walking but didn't go the general directions to his apartment.
"Frankie where are you going?! Please! Let's talk!"
"Leave me alone!"
Y/n didn't want their friendship to be ruined, so they kept insisting
He started getting frustrated, he meant nothing of what he was about to say but, he didn't want to keep y/n around anymore
"What don't you understand of leaving me alone?!? I don't want to see you anymore!!! You're just a disturbance to me!! That's all yo-"
His words where soon cut off by him coughing out even more flowers while the roots dug deeper into his lungs. The disease was getting worse.
Y/n just stood there in shock "you.....have hanahaki disease...."
He kept on coughing out all the flowers he held through the date.
They reached their arm out to touch frankie's arm "Frankie i'm sorry! Come on! Let me take you to the hospi-"
He grabbed their hand before they could touch him
"If you want to help me then go! Leave me alone!!"
"But i-"
"Leave!!!!"
They were obviously hurt by his demands but when they saw the look of frustration in his eyes, they started walking away "i hope you get better soon..."
Once they were gone, he made his way to the hospital.
The sooner he got the surgery, the better.
He has to admit, he was sad. He wished he would have handled the situation better. That he would have kept some sort or friendship with y/n, but, were things even going to stay the same? They would have gotten tierd of his attitude sooner or later, so what was the point of even keeping something that was meant to never exist?
He was better off like always, alone, no friends or relationships. It was easier. And less painfull
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amazingdriverfics · 4 years ago
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hii, can i request a fic where reader is sackler’s gf and she constantly worried that adam still has feelings for Jessa/Hannah and he always reassures her. But after coming early from a trip to surprise him with a gift (an expensive watch with their anniversary and initials engraved at the back) she catches him making out with Jessa/Hannah in their apartment? Sad ending please, but with a time skip of reader moving on and meeting (cross over moment) with another Adam driver character? Thank you!
A/N: Hey love, I hope you are doing fine. I know this took me a while (just like everything lately), but I wrote this with much love. Two of my favorite characters are in here and so I hope that you can feel the double of love, although Sackler will fuck things up…
Anyway, hope you like it. Sending you love.
Warnings: bi reader (just a mention), alcoholism, addiction, mention to toxic relationships and cheating.
My masterlist
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When you met Adam Sackler you should have known better, you really should, but you saw so much of yourself in him and you wanted to help him so very much that you were blinded.
You first met him in a AA meeting, he was clearly devastated and as he spoke about his last relationship, it felt like you heard your own story from a couple of years ago coming off his mouth and it was like a light had surfaced inside of you and you just knew you had to find a way to help the man.
As soon as the meeting was over you made your way to the huge figure, confident that this would do you just as good as it would do to him. And so as he drank water by the door you got closer, gently calling his name.
Even though when he turned your way you were quickly astonished by how pretty Adam was, your intention at first had nothing to do with romance, you just wanted to be there for him.
You talked to him for a bit about your last relationship with a girl name Heather and how just, as he had said in the meeting, you were super unhealthy to each other, how it was super intense and no matter how much both of you loved one another, how nothing could make things work and how in the last of the relationship it felt like the only thing keeping you both together was the fear of being by yourself. You even told the unknown man how you had started to drink again after things ended until you decided to go back to the meetings.
As you finished the long introduction you invited him for dinner in a place nearby which made your favorite burgers in the area.
The dinner was nice, you got to know him and his story better, how the addiction started in a young age and that he soon realized that he needed to do something about it, how he had been jumping from one unhealthy relationship to another, how he had been struggling to sobriety since things ended between him and his ex-girlfriend named Jessa and how he felt so completely alone.
With every word he spoke, the more you saw yourself in him and, therefore, the more you convinced yourself that you could definitely avoid that the man had to go through all the terrible situations you had after things ended with Heather.
From there, your friendship evolved quite quickly, Adam was truly a lonely person and you made the effort to go and meet him whenever he asked you to. Hanging out with the man was fun, although he was a little bit of a weirdo and sometimes did some questionable things, you really enjoyed his company.
The real problem was that, after a couple of months being kind of his rock, your feelings started to get in the way of things and you knew that if you made a move you could ruin everything you had built with Sackler. You were completely aware that getting over a relationship like that took a lot of time and suffering and that he was nowhere near the stage in which he was able to date someone else and so you buried your feelings, telling yourself that they would eventually go away.
They didn’t.
Although you never admitted to yourself that your feelings had gone nowhere, they were constantly proving it to you. It was obvious whenever he stood too close to you and your heartbeat fastened, whenever he smiled and you found yourself smiling too just because seeing him happy made you just as happy, whenever you tried to make out with someone else and you just couldn’t bring yourself to really enjoy it and, mostly, whenever you cried alone in your bed because you knew that there was nothing you could do to get him to be with you.
Or so you thought.
Things really reached a turning point when Sackler stopped treating you just like a friend and he started to shamelessly flirt with you whenever and wherever he possibly could - sometimes he would say things so dirty that you felt your cheeks heating up -.
When he made the first move then it felt like you had gone to heaven. You were in his kitchen getting some water since it was super hot in New York and you felt like you would melt in the floor at any minute. You were so hypnotized trying to get your body temperature down that you didn’t even notice Adam sneaking behind you until you felt his bare chest touching your back.
In that moment, you were completely frozen, hyper aware of every inch of his skin that touched yours, but you didn’t know what to do, it truly felt like a dream coming to life. When his lips finally touched yours you thought that if you died in that moment, you would die a happy person, as things progressed and he went down on you, you were sure.
After that, things progressed slowly and you were actually the one to decide that it was the right pace to follow.
Even though you wished that his heart was all yours, you knew that a part of it still belonged to Jessa and knowing that ignoring that fact would just hurt you, you asked him to let things go on as they should, not hurrying anything. He tried to convince you to do otherwise, saying that Jessa was the past and you were the present and future, but you knew better.
At least until then.
The problem with addiction is that some are more obvious like being addicted to drugs or alcohol, you and the people around you tend to notice it kind of quickly, but when you get addicted to someone, things can go a long way before you do anything about it and maybe then it is already too late.
Therefore, you didn’t notice how addicted you were to Adam Sackler until you were crying your way out of the apartment you shared almost two years later.
What at first was something you felt as completely normal didn’t take long to become an insecurity.
Little by little, your world started to be all about Adam, you thought of him through most of your day, you dreamt about him almost everyday and whenever you could be with him, you would be. And so, with the progress of the relationship the thought that he might not feel so intensely for you started to haunt you a lot and it was usually followed by a voice telling you that he would never get over Jessa because you would never be as good as her.
And although you knew rationally that you were way better to him than her and the constant reassurance Sackler gave you, something inside of you could never let it go.
Of course you trusted him and you knew that he loved you back, in his own way he would always make it clear to you about how much you meant to him. He would take you for a run, walk you somewhere, hold you through some crisis and spend a whole day with you in bed if you just asked him to.
Things were really great, you spent a whole year without any major problems before you and him decided to move in together and for a while it was really good for your insecurity, because he would constantly remind you that you were enough for him and that he would never trade what you two had and how you made him feel, but as his work started to demand for him to travel to perform the insecurity kept making its way back in.
Hell broke loose two days before his birthday. You had traveled to Seattle for a family thing and you came back sooner as soon as you found out that the rolex watch you bought for him with both of your initials and anniversary engraved on it - after saving money for months - was ready. You figured that it would be nice to surprise him with the watch before and so you reschedule the flight.
You were so excited on your way back to him that you could barely stop smiling, you couldn’t stop picturing his perfect face when he saw the gift and just the thought made you tear up a bit from sheer happiness.
You didn’t suspect anything, not even as you got near the door listening to some strange noises, you were too much in your head, too excited to think about anything else other than opening that stupid door and kissing him deeply before surprising him.
As the door opened finally, the one to truly surprise the other one was Adam.
He had his eyes closed and his mouth attached to someone with long blond hair which was in his lap, her legs straddling him as her pelvis moved on top of his.
You were totally shocked, not a noise left your mouth and the only sound that announced your present to your boyfriend and his guest was the sound of the package holding the most expensive thing you had ever bought someone hit the ground. You watched as she jumped out of his lap and his guilty eyes met yours, but you could only focus on her face as you remembered the picture he had shown you years ago in the burger place, it was Jessa.
“y/n” you heard his deep voice, but you just couldn’t move as the tears streamed down your face and you kept looking at her.
Adam repeated your name getting closer and taking his hand to your wrist, the touch waking you up. You took your eyes off of her and turned to him, the hurt in you becoming too much. There was nothing that he could do or say to fix the situation and you had nothing to say to him.
With trembling hands you got off his touch and grabbed the present on the floor, handling it to him before saying ‘happy birthday’ and leaving the place. You could get your things some other day.
——————————————————————————
You weren’t going to lie, it felt almost like a part of you had died that night and you had almost gone back to drinking once again, but eventually things got better.
You started to go to therapy, you finally opened a cafeteria and bookstore like you had always dreamt and after you got your things off of his apartment, you never saw Adam again.
The first time you thought of dating once again was when you saw a tall man, with medium length black hair and a pretty face in your store. He walked in holding hands with his son and as you watched him talk so sweetly to the boy, your heart warmed up a bit.
After that day he started coming more and more, sometimes with his Henry, as Charlie had told you the little boy was called, and sometimes without him whenever he was with his mother.
The first time he had shown interest in you was when he told you that his theater company was on the other side of the street and that he could never say no to a good cup of coffee, a good book and a good company causing you to blush right away. And he kept his word, there wasn’t a day where he wouldn’t pass by, even if it was just for 5 minutes.
Two months after coming to the shop for the first time, Charlie finally asked you out on a date and as you said yes, you couldn’t help feeling that he might just be the one.
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colorfullfalls · 5 years ago
Text
Saddle up
Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: Being an old member of Agent Coulson’s team meant that you knew all too well about the wanted man, Grant Ward. Ward thinks you are the link to reaching Daisy, and he takes you as a hostage. He completely missed out on  the information concerning a certain Winter Soldier that is very much in love with you. Bucky will find you. 
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Coulson’ s team saved you and your best friend, Skye. Two girls that stuck together after they were too old to be in fostercare anymore. Coulson found you guys and gave you a home. A purpose. An actual life. S.H.I.E.L.D came with it’s ups and downs, the  first world shattering event for you was the betrayal of Grant Ward. 
He infiltrated the team so easily. He was a protective team mate, or so you thought. He truly made you feel like you were family. You foolishly grew to love him, just as you did with the other members. Finding out that he was HYDRA was one of the worst days of your life. Skye crying frantically was in imagine forever burned within your memory. 
At the time she weak and unable to do much to fight him. Skye went through  terrigenesis, found her true identity-now going by her birth name of Daisy Johnson- and became the strongest hero you knew. Quake was now a well known hero that even saved the Avenger’s ass more than once. 
The team working with the Avengers caused your connection with Bucky Barnes to bloom. He was enamored with your intelligence and humility. You were refreshing compared to the intense heroes he was always surrounded with. Sooner than anyone expected, you two were in a fully committed relationship. At first your team was weary of him, him being the most terrifying assassin. But once they saw him look at you, there was no doubt that he was smitten. 
Bucky and you went off the grid for a bit of a vacation. The team had been so busy lately that he only really saw you at night or if he visited the lab. He complained about it to Coulson and sure enough you had a week off. Bucky was stoked about getting you to himself. 
A cabin in the middle of nowhere sat close to a small lake. A red canoe rested against the worn dock, the stain chipping terribly. You smiled at the sight of Bucky starting a fire- upon your request. Smores sounded irresistible and since you were irresistible to him, he made quick work to create roaring flames. 
“Buck. I think we forgot the chocolate.” You sadly pointed out. He walked over and gently grabbed the bag from you to search. No luck, he gave you a sympathetic smile that shifted into a real smile when he saw your pout.
“Seems so. Dammit, the fire is going too.” 
Flames licked the wood, enveloping it to create a barrier of heat. From where you were standing you could feel the heat radiating, or maybe that feeling was because Bucky was standing so close to you, his flesh arm brushing against yours.
“No biggie. I’ll go get some and you keep that fire going, mister.” You said, grabbing your bag and keys.
His metal hand grabbed your waist, pulling you close to press a chaste kiss to your lips. His forehead rested against yours for a second before he pulled away and kissed above your left eyebrow. Butterflies swam in your stomach at how absolutely gentle he was. The badass winter soldier was the softest teddy bear around you. It was almost hard to believe that he could kill a man with a knife in one hundred different ways.
“Be safe.” He mumbled against your skin.
You scoffed, pushing away, “Buck, I don’t need to be. Look how swole I got!” You flexed your arms and pointed at the small amount of muscle you gained from Bucky dragging you to the gym three times a week.
A ripple of laughter barked from him as he grabbed a large piece of wood and set it on the fire. His blue eyes shimmered from the flames.
“Okay, tough guy- seriously though. Be cautious. You never know what the world will throw your way.” He warned.
He was right. Being in S.H.I.E.L.D. proved that danger was around every corner. Nightmares of little kids were very much real and a lot of horror manifested in the world. You tried your best to fight evil with science but when it came to physically warding it off, you were sort of lost.
Bucky worried about your safety at all times. Being a scientist with the expertise of human anatomy meant that HYDRA would be interested. The current goal was to create super soldiers from scratch and he had a feeling that they knew about your set of skills. He would not let you get caught by them. His eyes conveyed how intense he was about you returning unharmed.
“Aye aye Sergeant Barnes. I’ll be back before you know it.”
Chocolate secured, you walked around the end of the store to purchase it. In the corner of your eye you saw someone behind you in the distance but when you turned no one was there. This occurred a few times before you got out of the store. Starting to grow paranoid you briskly walked to your car.
As you were about to open the door you were pushed harshly so that your face smacked off the car. Your arms were quickly restrained and a hand snuck around to clamp your mouth shut. Your heart beat out of your chest as you realized what was going on. You were caught by HYDRA and you were going to die or be used as bait to lure in Bucky.
“Don’t scream and I’ll take my hand away.”
Blood drained out of your face as you recognized the voice. Fucking Grand Ward found you.
You tried to scream but Ward managed to haul your body effortlessly onto the backseat of his car without anyone noticing. Your muffled cries for help angered him as he tied your hands and feet together with rope. He slammed the door shut and climbed into the driver seat. You regretted asking Bucky to make a fire now. You could’ve made out in the nice cabin instead but you buttered him up to make a fire. You decided that the chocolate wasn’t worth it and that s’mores weren’t that great.
Your eyes watched out the window as he drove, trying to memorize the area you could see from laying down so that if you possibly escaped you would have an idea where to go. Ward was sort of dumb for not blind folding you, you thought as he pulled into long lane that held a large house.
He got out of the car and man handled you inside. You grew nervous as you saw about twenty hydra agents spread through out the house. He kicked open the basement door and sat you down at a table. The stone walls covered with cobwebs made you shiver. Clearly this wasn’t as welcoming as the cute cabin you should’ve already been back to.
“You’re a dick.” You threw out.
He rolled his eyes, “You’re insufferable.”
You guffawed loudly as your hands fought to get out of the rope, “You’re a killer! How did you even find me?”
He grabbed a nearby chair and sat in it nonchalantly as if he hadn’t kidnapped a rival agent, “I didn’t plan to, I happened to be in the right place at the right time. Better take an opportunity when it presents itself.”
His stupid smug voice made your insides burn with hate. A knife wedged between his eyes danced around your mind. Oh boy did you wish that you had Daisy’s powers in that moment. You would quake him until his insides turned to jelly.
“No, I think you’re a stalker.”
He clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth, “I don’t care what you think, I care about what you know. Where is Daisy?”
Laughter bubbled in your throat, ripping out in a furious wave of sound. You carried on until tears were running down your face. Granted, your situation was not funny but you were nervous and him thinking Daisy wouldn’t kill him really humored you.
“Stop laughing and tell me.” He gritted out.
“Grant Ward, you’re a demon on this earth, but never before did I think you were this dumb! I mean come on man, as if Daisy wouldn’t end your life the second she saw you? Lincoln died to kill you and Hive, but you somehow lived and made your way back here- surviving like a parasite. She will never forgive you, especially not after that.”
He punched you as soon as you finished your words, landing a blow to mostly your nose and mouth. You blinked in surprise as he drew his fist back. Grant grimaced as he noticed your busted lip. Once again his anger got ahold of him. Daisy hating him exposed his true monster because he loved her. As fucked up as it was he was still in love with her even though she rather him be dead. And the truth of that hurt. Daisy would really hate him for harming you.
“I didn’t-“
“Fuck you.” You spat, glaring at him with pure resentment, “It is not my fault that you messed up your life so bad, not my fault you ruined your friendships. For god sake, you plunged Fitzsimmons into the depths of the ocean without batting an eye. Our forgiveness is not in your future.”
“I’m not asking for your forgiveness.”
Your tongue swiped against your bottom lip that had a small amount of blood on it. Metallic tasting liquid invaded your taste buds, making you wince.
“You’re asking for hers. Tough luck, killer, you won’t get it!”
He slammed his fist against the table causing your body to flinch at the bang. Your face pulsed in pain remember the punch delivered moments ago. You were trying to be strong but you were scared. Grant Ward was a murderer and he had you locked up in a basement in the middle of nowhere. You were extremely helpless and vulnerable in your chair due to being tied up. You wished more than anything for Bucky to kick that door down and save you.
Bucky waited thirty minutes before jumping in his vehicle and making a beeline for the store you two had visited earlier. Getting chocolate would not take that long and his gut knew something was wrong. He pulled in and saw your car in the lot. He lunged out of his and ran over to yours. His blue eyes became darker as he noticed two hand marks and a smudged face mark that wasn’t there before you left. Someone harmed you.
Bucky looked around the lot for any suspicious vehicles but nothing looked out of the ordinary. His heart was hammering furiously in his chest at the idea of someone daring to lay their filthy hands on you. Bucky punched the pole beside him, denting it considerably.
“Fuck!”
Grant Ward stared at you as you attempted for the tenth time to get the ropes off of you. You didn’t even have a plan for if you got them off, but that was the first step. He rolled his eyes at your actions.
“Will it take torture for you to speak up? Hmm? Maybe a knife in your thigh? Another punch? I am tired of playing nice here.”
You ignored his words, only trying to loosen the ties around you even more. Bucky would’ve already been out of this chair and had killed Ward if he had been where you were. Unfortunately, you were not a trained assassin and you were very worried how this day would end. Bucky had to have known you were taken and you knew he was looking for you. And when he found Ward, all hell would break loose.
“You’re not going to get those off. Stop fussing, you’re annoying me.”
“I don’t care what annoys you,” you seethed, “Let me go! I’m not telling you anything about Daisy so keeping me is useless. It’s signing your death warrant, really.”
He hummed in a condensing manner, “My death warrant? I’m alive for a reason, princess. I’m better at killing than my opponents.”
The condescending pet name irritated you to no end. Princess was a generalization of a snobby girl who got whatever she wanted. You were a educated woman who knew worlds more intellectual information than the man in front of you.
You dryly laughed, “Not more skilled than the Winter Soldier and when he gets here, you better saddle up because he will beat the ever loving shit out of you.”
Ward nodded in amusement, “S.H.I.E.L.D keeps a tight rope on him- I’m sure. Coulson doesn’t have the authority to send him out. Daisy is the rescue team and we both know that.”
You felt paranoid that he knew so much about your team, that he knew Daisy was the key factor in saving you guys and the world again and again. Had he been keeping tabs on her? It made your skin crawl to think that he watched her every move. What all did he know? Apparently not enough to know that you were the Winter Soldier’s darling. Grant Ward was doomed the second Bucky walked in the door, you decided.
Ward was one of the best agents after Natasha and he skillfully took down so many people. But Bucky was so far above him. Not only in combat skills but your boyfriend was a freaking super solider that had serum that granted him strength and reflexes no one could fathom.
“You idiot, I’m his girlfriend!”
Ward shifted in his seat at your reveal. He studied your face to see if you were bluffing or not. By the look on his face a few moments later he could tell that he realized it was true. He clenched his eyes shut in frustration.
“You were here with him, weren’t you?” He asked.
You grinned cheekily, “Bullseye!”
Bucky paced back and forth in front of your car before a black SUV pulled in front of him. Out jumped Daisy Johnson, fully suited up. She hugged him quickly before pulling away.
“She came here to get chocolate and she never came back! I didn’t know what else to do.” He rambled.
She calmly grabbed his arm for him to look at her, “We got intell on a house close to here that HYDRA agents are hiding at. Word has it that Grant Ward is there too.”
Bucky squinted his eyes, “Grant Ward? I thought he died?”
“Apparently not. That parasite just can’t stay dead. She’s there, I know it.”
Bucky grit his teeth. HYDRA would crumble to the ground if one hair on your head was damaged. He promised himself to kill each and every one of those bastards that dared to take his girl. Bucky knew of Grant Ward and the emotional toll that the man’s betrayal had on you.
His first clenched as the metal whirled in his arm. Anger engulfed him to the point that he punched the same pole again. The large pole crashed to the ground, catching attention of the fellow shoppers around them. People ignored it because they weren’t about to get in the way of an angry man strong enough to do something like that.
Daisy looked at the pole before looking back at Bucky, “I’m sure they can deal with that. We gotta go.”
Ward disappeared upstairs leaving you to patiently wait until Bucky arrived. A part of you was worried for him. There were twenty agents here plus a maniac killer who May even used to struggle to defeat. Sure, he was the Winter Soldier but that didn’t mean he wasn’t human. A shot to the wrong place and he could be dead within seconds.
You also had a feeling that they would try to summon the Soldat and then everyone here would be screwed.
A man slipped quietly through the door and your breath caught in your throat. He had a sinister smile as he crossed the room to duck down in front of you.
One time Bucky explained that HYDRA agents weren’t that well trained if they were basic agents. The organization spent most of its dedication to training about ten top skilled people to get the job done. The man in front of you probably wasn’t one of the top ten, but he still posed a threat.
“You’re prettier than we assumed. When Ward told us that the Winter Soldier would be here any second to rescue you, we assumed he was pussy wipped.” He grabbed a knife off the table and twirled it between his fingers.
“Charming” you sarcastically noted.
“But looking at you now, I get it.”
You shifted yourself to lean away from him, “Get what?”
His hand roughly grabbed your jaw and turned your head to look at him. His green eyes were not kind like Bucky’s blue eyes. Your boyfriends gorgeous blue eyes could stop a war before it even started. Those blue eyes were home.
“You’re ethereal, babe.”
A loud shot rang in your ears as blood sprayed your face. You let out a blood curdling scream as his body fell on you. Grant Ward stalked over as he put his gun back in his holster. He shoved the body off as if it was a dead pesky fly.
Your adrenaline was going through the roof as you realized that a man was shot and killed on top of you. His warm blood clung to the soft skin, tainting it in the most sinful way. Tears welled up as you looked at the murder in front of you.
How could someone be so utterly cruel? So vile that the devil himself would turn away at his acts. Bruised heart not caring about the lives of other human beings. His face showed no remorse. It never did unless Daisy was involved.
“What the hell.” You whispered, gazing at him.
“Today isn’t the day to test the winter soldiers rage when he finds out one of my agents sexually assaulted you. Because that’s what he was going to do.”
Vomit crawled up the back of your throat at the idea of the man touching you like that. You shoved it back down with a gulp. Bucky hurry up, you internally pleaded. Wrapped in his thick arms always made you feel safe and right now that’s all you wanted.
Lights in the room shook, an earthquake force ripping through the room. Ward’s eyes got wide as he realized your rescue team was here. Not only did Bucky find you, but so did Daisy.
He grabbed your body and pulled your back to his chest, barrel of his gun kissing your temple wickedly. Screams and cries sounded off like a war zone. And a war zone it was. Bucky would kill everyone here, even if Daisy didnt approve of it. He didn’t care to hold back his impending wrath.
Daisy quakes three agents back so that they slammed against the wall, knocked unconscious. She was really trying to deter Bucky from killing them all but he knew how protective he could get. And how revenge was wrapping itself around his very bones.
“I didn’t want to kill you but it looks like you’re my bargaining chip, y/n.”
You whimpered at the implication of him using your body to get Daisy and Bucky not to kill him. You heard heavy footsteps clambering down the stairs and you held your breath.
Mistaking the power of Daisy Johnson was the dumbest thing Ward could have done. She quaked the door until it flew against the wall, broken off of its hinges. Bucky raced into the room, large gun sweeping the room to look for you. You had to be here. He heard a whimper and his eyes set on the nightmare before him.
You, pressed up against Grant Ward with a fucking barrel to your head. Crippling fear took over for a second. You were so vulnerable unlike him and that shot would surely kill you. His darling’a life was threatened and that alert his senses into kill mode.
Daisy held her hand out for Bucky to stop as she slowly walked closer to you two.
“Let her go, you sick son a bitch. You wanted me and here I am.” Venom seeped out of her voice.
Ward glanced at the super soldier who would gut him as soon as he let you go. He regretted his decision to take you. He was going to die today. “I didn’t want it to go like this.” He pulled your closer, the metal of the gun digging painfully into your skin.
Your eyes connected with Bucky’s and you conveyed all of your love for him in one look. Relief washed through your veins like a river being undammed just by knowing he was in the same room as you. No one could protect you like he could, love you like he could. He was it for you and you wanted to be in his arms instead of where you were.
Bucky slowly grabbed his beloved knife, twirling it in between his metal fingers. Ward was too distracted by Daisy to notice his movements. The knife launched out of Bucky’s hands and right into the hand that Ward was holding the stupid fucking gun with.
Ward yelped and let go enough that you ran out of his arms and behind Daisy. Bucky made sure you were safe before charging. His body threw Ward’s to the ground, going in to land a punch. Ward dodged his attempt and rolled to the side, pulling the knife out of his hand.
Ward thrust the knife towards Bucky’s body but Bucky grabbed his wrist and twisted hard, breaking it. Ward grunted out in pain. Bucky grabbed the knife and stabbed his opponent in the side. Flashes of you with a gun to your head spurred him on to stab him again and again and again.
Ward was gasping for breath when Bucky heard a gun shot. You touched your shoulder, wincing in pain as a straggling agent shot again, this time the bullet embedding itself in your leg. You gasped as you hunched down to hold your leg in pain.
Daisy quaked the agent and he fell unconscious.
Bucky left his knife in Ward’s dead body as he crossed the ground and had you in his arms within seconds. His lips attached itself to your temple, holding you impossibly close to him. Ignoring the pain was easy when such a handsome man was grasping onto you like his life depended on it.
“You’re safe now. We gotta get you outta here doll.” He murmured against your skin as he hoisted you up in his arms.
“Simmons is waiting for us at the compound. She can take care of her.” Daisy spoke, bending down to grab the knife out of Ward’s body. She shook her head before leading the way out of the building.
Bodies littered the floor, deep red stains soaking into the carpet. Necks were broken, arms dislocated, faces bloody. Your hand ghosted you’re cheek, knowing that blood of a man laid on you. Saying you weren’t a bit traumatized would be a lie. Especially when you looked at the dead agents sprawled out in different areas of the house.
Bucky gripped you close to his body on the car ride back to the cabin. Daisy drove silently, well aware that you needed a moment. His nose nuzzled into your neck, scenting you like a damn wolf. You were irrecoverably his and he would never let anything bad happen to you again. He had to calm his mind down because all he could see was you with that gun to your head. A weapon that could’ve easily ended your life and his in return.
Fitzsimmons greeted you with warm smiles containing roof level high amounts of love. They were so relived to see you in one piece. The couple knew all too well of how brutal Grant Ward could be. Bucky stood close by as Simmons withdrew the bullets. You clenched your teeth in pain as they were pulled out. Bucky’s hand reached out and intertwined your fingers and she stitched you up. Daisy walked in to see how you were doing. The bus kids were once again untied, plus Bucky Barnes.
“So he’s dead this time? Like really dead? Dead dead..” Fitz asked.
“As hard as it is to believe, yes.” Daisy retorted, handing Fitz a pop as she sat down by him on the stool, “That sicko is gone for good. Bucky stabbed him too many times to count.”
Bucky blushed slightly, shifting his hand slightly against yours as all of your team mates looked at him like the hero he was.
“Thank heavens,” Simmons mumbled, working her nimble fingers diligently against your warm skin. You felt Bucky’s hand squeeze a bit for reassurance. You smiled gratefully up at him.
“Y/n isn’t this your first time getting shot?” Fitz asked, slurping his drink.
“Uh huh, doesn’t feel too great.” Your leg was throbbing by the time Simmons got to work on it. Your pants had to be cut off and you gave a very solemn look at the discarded material lying on the floor. You liked those pants...
“You’ll get used to it.”
You choked out a laugh at the harsh glare Bucky was giving Fitz. You rubbed your thumb against the flesh of his hand to calm him down. Bucky didn’t think you getting harmed was something to joke about. You were uneffected by the jesting, it was how your team worked to deal with all of the tragedy. Bucky was Bucky and he would always be over sensitive about how people spoke to you.
“Ahh, I don’t think so. I’ve been shot many times and it hurts all the same. Ian shooting me in the stomach was the worst.” Daisy added to the conversation.
You shivered as you recalled the time where your best friend was on the brink of death, her body laying limp as Simmons worked over her frail body. You blinked away the memory, focusing on Bucky’s metal hand moving to rest comfortably on your thigh as Simmons finished up your leg.
“That was a bloody horrible time.” Gemma snorted, “Not as horrible as when Fitz unleashed Aida on us all.”
Fitz opened his mouth to protest, “How many times do I have to say I’m sorry about that!”
“Probably for life, you’ll get used to it.” Bucky retorted, “As much as we would love to stay and chat, I think y/n should get some rest. Thank you for the help, Gemma.”
Simmons smiled, “Of course. Anything for her.”
He led you into your shared bathroom and cleaned the blood off of your face, taking the burden of the pain with him, helping you deal with it. You silently watched him as he wrung out the washcloth. You were so enamored that such a strong man was so soft when it came to you. God, you adored him.
Bucky helped you change into clothes that weren’t bloody. Unsurprisingly, he chose to put his red Henley on you. A shirt that you loved seeing on him as much as he loved you in it. The soft cotton swallowed you, encapsulating you in his cologne left over on it. You two crawled under the comforter, his arms holding you to his chest as he laid on his side with you facing him. You were just so pretty, he decided as he bent down to stuff his face in the crook of your neck.
“Comfy?” His deep voice rumbled against the skin of your throat as he peppered a few kisses there, centering himself.
“Around you? Always.” You whispered, his kisses growing wet as he slot his lips lovingly against your skin. You shifted, moving so that his thick thigh was trapped between yours. He hummed in appreciation as he pulled you closer, his hands roaming your body. His metal arm rested on your behind as he ground himself into you, moaning at the feeling. His flesh hand glided across your hip and moved down.
You hissed in pain when his hand pressed down near the bullet wound.
He quickly pulled away, “Shit! Sorry, sorry I wasn’t even thinking about your leg, doll.”
You huffed out a “it’s fine” before moving to just cuddle him, “I think we both got caught up in the moment.”
He gently ran his flesh hand through your hair, “I guess so. I’m just thankful that you’re safe in my arms. Seeing him- with that.... to your.. it broke my heart.”
You situated yourself so that your eyes were level with his, the beautiful blue was swarming with sadness. You smiled sympathetically.
“You saved me, Buck. You took away my biggest nightmare.” You whispered, “you should’ve seen the look on his face when I told him I was your girlfriend.”
The idea of Grant Ward knowing that death was on its way had Bucky feeling like a winner. Ward terrorized your thoughts and knowing he put an end to your fear made him feel high on life. Protecting you was in his nature, and getting rid of Ward was like winning the lottery. Your mind at ease made your boyfriend happy. The idea of you knowing that he will always be there for you made his heart soar. God he wanted you forever.
He grinned, “Bastard had it coming, had the right to be be fucking scared- daring to take away my girl from me.”
His lips pecked yours a few times before his cheek rested comfortably against yours. Your eyes fluttered shut, finally feeling peaceful enough to fall asleep. Peace was always easy to find around him.
Around your Bucky.
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vtmb2s · 4 years ago
Note
Past 1, 3, 6, 8 for Jason my beloved and Present 5-8 for Jenny annnd Future 2, 5, 7 for Helena! 😏
─ JASON
1. Briefly describe the way their parents grew up, and how it affected the way they raised them.
Both his parents were two regular middle class new yorkers, Frank (his dad) grew up in New York's suburbs and had a very conventional upbringing, he was the middle child of three siblings and thus kind of ignored so he usually just minded his own business... that very much carried over into adulthood, he was very reclusive and didn't really bother spending much time with his family -_-
Jason's mom, Gina, was a 2nd generation italian-american who grew up in a huge family with a billion siblings and cousins who are all very different from her husband. She liked it in the beginning but she became more and more unhappy and kind of underwhelmed. She really projected all her dreams of ever becoming someone on her kids that failed with her because she was stuck in a boring marriage with the most unambitious and boring man ever 😑
3. Describe their family. Who raised them, and who had the most impact on them? Did they have any siblings? Who were they closest to? What were the family dynamics like?
This ties in with the previous question but Frank was a bit of a loser, not particularly attractive and more timid & shy.. he was a very unambitious guy who worked a boring office job all his life without any intention of climbing the ladder. He really spent most of his time off work with his boring little loser hobbies :/
Gina was a much more spirited and lively person than her husband, Jason takes a lot more after her than his dad. She wasn't a great mother by all means due to the fact that she was unhappy in her marriage and with her life and kind of took that out on her kids, in a way where she placed certain expectations on them which Jason never really met. They weren't particularly close due to Jason's more.. rebellious nature he had as a kid, which in turn made him cause more trouble because that was the only way his parents gave him any attention at all :/ He also has an older brother, Richard, who their mother very obviously favored. Frank didn't really give a fuck about either of his sons -_-
He had a very close relationship with his mother's family though, particularly with one of her brothers. Carlo (said uncle) was a lot like him and never had any kids on his own so he became somewhat of a father figure to Jason :-)
6. Did the location they grew up in affect them significantly? Do they still go there?
He grew up in some little house in New York's suburb, not the prettiest house there because they didn't make enough for one of the nicer looking ones. He's not that fond of the boring suburbs (even in Boston), he spent more time in the city with his relatives and preferred that over his actual home. Other than that it didn't affect him much 🤷‍♀️
8. What was their childhood/teenage bedroom like?
A small little room with an ugly sports wallpaper that his parents never bothered to replace as he got older. It always looked a little messy and had a few mismatching mid-century decorations and furniture in there. As he grew older he started to cover the walls with random posters he had, to hide the ugly baseball wallpaper.
─ JENNY
5. What kind of people do they usually interact with? Who are their friends, the people they look up to/trust, and who are their “associates”?
She interacts with all sorts of people in New Bordeaux' criminal underworld - if you do anything illegal chances are you'll know Jenny. As for her actual friends, she's friends with the 3 other criminal 20 year olds in town, Danny, Lincoln, Ellis, unfortunately Giorgi (frenemies would be more fitting) and Lena. Her closest and best friends would definitely be Gavin (of @dannyburke fame)and Juliet (of @jennystahl fame) though, they're also pretty much the only ones who would fall into the "people she trusts" category... they're the only ones she'll have long weed induced therapy sessions at 1 am while the monkees are on tv.
6. What is their current relationship with their family?
Complicated... the love is there and all that, it's more of a business relationship though rather than a parent-child thing, especially with her dad. It's nothing that she ever questions (until aforementioned therapy sessions with her friends), she grew up in an environment where affection isn't really something she sees often and almost all her friends have messed up relationships with their parents too so while there is some resentment she never really questions that the way they raised her might not be ideal :c
The relationship with her siblings is complicated as well, especially because they're both a LOT younger than her. She was an only-child until the age of 13 and moved out of her childhood home when they were eight and six years old so there's this weird disconnect but there's a relationship nonetheless, which is weird. Eldest daughter AND only child disease 😓Not to mention that her parents are looking to make her little brother head of the family because he's a boy or whatever.. drama!
7. Do they have a partner? How did they meet, and what’s their relationship like now?
Yes.. she and Ellis met on some random job in the Hollow in 1963 that her dad was taking her along with (he and Sammy did random deals together and were also good friends 😌) and Jenny was like wow how boring. What if I just talk to this this guy's sons instead.... she thought he was some annoying teenage guy and only really talked to him whenever necessary (when her dad's business trips to Sammy's got REALLY boring). She forced herself to hang out with him more after Lincoln went to Vietnam and realized he's not so bad so they became friends :)
In actual game canon nothing really happens because he dies, Jenny just becomes sad that her friends were killed (him, Danny, Sammy and maybe Michael too because of Juliet connection.. she doesn't give a fuck abt Giorgi anymore that little rat can die) and wonders if she liked that goofy little guy with the ugly shirts, but in any case it's too late now.
We're doing au's here though (also this is as of '68) so in the good timeline they get together in 1968.. sort of. It's not a friends with benefits thing, more that sort of relationship that you know will end sooner or later for various reasons, so you're kind of living in the moment and have fun while it lasts. It IS genuine and not just about hooking up from time to time of course, it's just not the kind of thing that was built to last because it's based off of a dumb 20 year olds friendship and one of them (Jenny) doesn't really plan on sticking around in New Bordeaux. But well, who knows what will happen 😏
8. What hobby or pastime of theirs do they consider most important to them and why?
Well, she's big on making music, she plays the guitar and sings (she has a pretty nice voice c: ), she grew up in a pretty fucked up environment so that was her sort of escape in her youth, to be a normal kid who's playing the guitar very very badly. She doesn't play it badly as a 23 year old anymore of course and it's a little thing she shares with her best friends so that means a lot to her 😳
─ HELENA
2. Are they content with their future situation? Is there anything they would change?
Well, she's certainly not happy with the whole vampire situation - her dreams of becoming famous for acting were pretty much ruined, now she's legally dead and nothing more than a photo on true crime blogs and conspiracy theory websites... Famous but for the wrong reasons, in a way she's more bitter about "dying" before she had the chance to become famous than about the whole vampirism thing herself. There would have been something incredibly poetic about a beautiful young actress dying at the height of her career, now she's just some random nobody :/
It could be worse though. She's known among L.A. vampires for her lack of loyalty to any of the factions (despite her working for the Camarilla earlier) and her just helping whoever she feels like which is fine to her, most of them will just leave her alone. In any case, she's not in Los Angeles anymore after the events of Bloodlines!!
5. Did they get married or have a family? Why? If otherwise, why not?
See she would like to get married eventually, making a promise to love someone and be with them for eternity (literally... because... vampires) is incredibly romantic and she would love that (THIS is her wedding... not really because she's not that cringe but also.. yeah), so who knows what might happen.
Family though, no!! Starting one isn't possible, at least not with biological children since she's a vampire. It doesn't bother her that much, she always did envision herself with one child in the future but she's not desperate to be a mother anyway so she doesn't beat herself up about it. She does wonder what it might be like to have children and laments it from time to time (she's a little overdramatic) but overall she doesn't mind that much.
7. Are their friends still a part of their life? Are there people they are no longer in touch with, or newly important people?
Yes, sort of! As I mentioned before she's not in L.A. anymore post-bloodlines and she never had many friends there to begin with so she keeps in touch with the few she has there. She miiight make a few new (or old) connections once shes out of Los Angeles too, who knows!
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chickensarentcheap · 5 years ago
Text
Sanctuary -Chapter 49
Warnings: none
Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @alievans007​, @thunderintheshadows​, @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @valkyrie-of-the-light​
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Nik has arranged a private flight; her list of wealthy and well established connections is long and prosperous, with more names being added as the days go by. Most are former satisfied clients offering services in exchange of hefty payments, others are associates of big name and influential marks. Word travels fast in the dark underbelly of the soldier for hire world, and once you've established a reputation, it follows you; your client listing growing larger, the money offered much more substantial, the jobs more dangerous and life threatening.  
She'd reluctantly given him the departure time; slightly remorseful for causing an even bigger issue than she'd intended, and eager to keep the peace between Tyler and her herself. It would never be the same. They both know that. The last thread that had been keeping their friendship intact has finally been severed, relegating them to nothing more than colleagues. There's been too much damage done; the years of pursuing him and attempting to convince him to commit adultery, the trust issues that have been plaguing them since he refused to dump Ovi in the street in Dhaka (going against her direct orders), and now going behind his back and almost single handily ruining his marriage.   The latter is partly his fault as well; he shoulders his blame and has had a little more than twelve hours to torture himself over the decisions he'd made. With more meds in his system; he's finally starting to think straight again; the confusion beginning to lift,  the doom and gloom dissipating, the harsh reality of what he'd done sinking in. He's disgusted with himself; for resorting to the means he'd had, for allowing himself to spiral so far out of control that he hadn't even realized he was making a mess out of himself and his life,  for keeping such a horrendous and vile secret from his wife and for not letting her help him sooner.  And for reacting the way he'd had during their fight; for that brief moment when he'd come so close to not being able to control his temper and had thought about grabbing her or hitting her.
It makes him feel sick even now. When he thinks about getting to that point. That he'd allowed his brain to get so fucked up that hurting her had even become an option.  Under normal circumstances, the thought would never have even crossed his mind, not even in the midst of their nastiest and most intense of fights.  And the fact that it had had been enough to make him realize just how much things needed to change. How much he needed to change.  So instead of going on a bender and drinking away his misery, he'd proceeded to raid the mini bar in favour of dumping every bottle of booze down the drain to avoid temptation, and instead of going into an uncontrollable rage and trashing and destroying the hotel room, he'd sat down and had an emotional breakdown instead. Allowing the tears to fall and the sobs to wrack his body; feeling emotionally and physically spent afterwards, but determined to make his life better. He wasn't going to lose his wife and his kids. And he was going to make whatever changes he needed to make to ensure that didn't happen.
His hands are shoved in the pockets of his flack jacket as he crossed the tarmac; Nik and Esme are at the bottom of the stairs that lead up to the floor of the jet, quietly conversing as one of the stewards finishes loading the bags. Nik sees him first, attempting a small smile that he doesn't return, and her lips set themselves into a grin -almost remorseful- line before she whispers something to Esme, gives her upper arm a tight squeeze and then climbs the stairs to the jet without a glance back.
“Hey,” he simply greets, and attempts a smile. He's been miserable since she walked out the night before; heartbroken and desolate instead of angry and destructive. But he'd kept his promise; staying away from her, not even calling or texting, no matter how desperate he was to talk to her.  It's the first time in almost the entire five and a half years they've been together that they've gone that long without talking; always finding ways to communicate even when he was halfway around the world.  And he didn't realize that he'd miss her that damn much in such a short period of time.
Hey,” she sounds tired, sad. And he hates that he's done that to her. But her smile is genuine; it makes her smile sparkle and the bridge of her nose to crinkle. She's still the most beautiful thing he's ever seen; no make up gracing her still youthful features, clad in a pair of jeans and one of his hoodies.
“I was looking for that,” he teases, and nods at the sweater.
“You know it's my favourite one. I wasn't going home without it. And it still smells like you, so...” her voice trails off. “...what are....?”
“I know...”  he begins at the same time, then gives a small laugh. “Go ahead. Ladies first.”
“Age before beauty,” she playfully retorts, and even this small return to their often playful banter gives him hope.
“I know I said I'd stay away from you, when you called me to let me know you were leaving, but Nik told me what time the flight was at.  And before you get mad at her, I kind of put a huge guilt trip on her and forced her to tell me.”
“What are you doing here? I thought we both agreed we wouldn't see each other until you came home.”
“I'm not here to try and convince you to stay. I want to. But I won't.” He wonders if she wants him to; if she wants him to grovel and beg. Because if if that's what it will take to change her mind, he's more than willing to do it. He's far beyond worrying about his pride.
“You need to concentrate on the job,” she says. “And you can't do that if I'm here. You'll spend too much time worrying about me and the baby. And that's dangerous. If your head isn't one hundred percent in things.”
He nods in agreement. “I got a hold of Ovi. He's going to give it a couple of days and then they're going to make their way back to Colorado. I told him not to go to the house and to go to your mom's instead. It's going to be crowded as all hell there. Especially with Nik staying with you.”
“I told her she didn't need to, but she says it's for the best. She feels better if she can keep an eye on all of us. She said it would probably be okay if we went back to the house, but I don't want to be there without you. I'd feel better if you were there with us.”
“And I'd feel better if you stayed away from the house,” he says. “Until I got back. Just in case.”
“Are you okay?” she asks, and takes a step towards him.. “And don't say you're fine. Because I know you're not.”
“I'm not okay, but I will be.”
“You're taking your meds?”
He nods.
“Are you sober?”
“Yeah. I am. And I'm going to stay that way.”
Her smile is a little bigger this time, and she moves even closer to him.
“Have you been back there?”  she inquires. “The storage place?”
“No. Not since yesterday. Not since we...well...you know...”
“And are you going to? Go back?”
He shakes his head. “I told Mark to handle everything. That I wanted nothing more to do with it.  That I never should have done it in the first goddamn place. And I'm sorry. That I ever did do it. And that I never told you how fucked up my head actually is. As soon as I did it, I should have told you.”
“You thought you had a valid reason,” she says. “That's what your brain was telling you.  And I get that. That it was you but it wasn't you all at the same time. Promise me this won't ever happen again. That that's a direction you won't go in again. Because that isn't who you are. No matter what your brain tells you.”
“I promise. It won't ever happen again. That's not who I am; you're right. And it fucking makes me sick that I even thought about it.”
“Don't do that to yourself, Tyler. The guilt. Don't dwell on that. It happened. You can't go back and change it. For what's it worth, it wasn't all your fault. You had people enabling you. Making you think you were doing the right thing. And that's not who you are either. You don't normally give a shit what anyone says.”
“Guess I'm even more fucked up than I realize.”
“You're sick, not fucked up. And when you get home we'll deal with it. Together. Not on your own. You're not in this alone.  And the sooner you realize that, things will get better. You have to let me help you, Tyler. I know that's hard for you. You think I've already done so much. After Dhaka.  But I'd do it all again. I'd make the same decisions. In a heartbeat.”
“I didn't mean what I said. About wishing you'd let me die. I was just pissed off and on the defensive and...”
“I know...” she lays her hands on his hips.  “...I know you didn't mean it. And maybe things would have been easier. If I had have. But I wasn't letting you go. Not that easily anyway.”
He smiles at that.  
“I'm going to call the doctor when I get to my mom's. I should probably get into see her as soon as possible. I think I'm further along than I either of us think. Probably close to three months. If not a bit past it.”
“When I came back from El Salvador,” he easily recalls, and she nods. “Yeah, that was a wild eighteen hours. When I first got back. You were kinda...noisy...that night”
She blushes. “Yeah, well you have that effect on me. I just can't let it out when there's kids in the house. And if that's the case, that that's when it happened, I  need to get in to the doctor sooner rather than later. Just to make sure things are okay.  But I'll call you and let you know what she says. She'll probably want to do an ultrasound. To check on everything. I can send you copies of the pictures if you want.”
“Yeah, I'd like that. Then I go around showing them to complete strangers, bragging about my super sperm.”
She laughs, and shakes her head. “You're never going to let that go, are you.”
“Probably not.  Billy Flynn called. The IRA agreed. They'll take him off our hands. For everything we asked for. I'll let him know where you and the kids are. So he can have his people go there. So once I hand McMann over, that part of the job will be done. And no, I won't be doing it alone. I'll have someone there with me. So I don't flip my shit and fuck him up even more than I already have.”
“He'll get what's coming him to Tyler. Even if it's not you that does it. And I don't want you to be the one that does it.”
“I won't be,” he assures her, and reaches out to take her face in his hands, thumbs gliding across the tops of her cheeks. “I leave for New Zealand, In two days.”
“You found them? The kids? He told you where they are?”
“He just said they're in New Zealand. It's up to me to find out exactly where. But I'm thinking you were probably right about the grandmother's old store. That it's somewhere I should check out.”
“Don't go alone, okay? Because McMann may be out of the picture, but the Buckmans are still in it. And those are people you do not want to cross by yourself.”
“Mark and one of his guys are going to come along. Just in case.  As much as I can't fucking stand Mark...”
“He'll have your back. Mostly because he knows I'll kill him if he lets something happen to you. Please be careful, Tyler.”
“I will.”
“Because I kind of want you to come home,” she says, and fights back tears. “I really, really want you to come home.”
“I'm coming home, baby. I promise.”
She nods, and then drops her forehead onto his chest, arms wrapping around his waist. And he can feel her body trembling against him as she cries.
“It's going to be okay,” he drops a kiss on the top of her head, then places one hand on the nape of her neck, the other on the small of her back. “Everything is going to be okay.”
“I'm sorry. For some of the things I said. I know how bad they must have hurt you and...”
“Don't be sorry. They were true. I needed to hear them.”
“I would never, ever, take your kids from you. And I never should have said that. That was a horrible thing to say you but I was just so shocked over the whole thing and I was so angry with you and I was so hurt when you said you wished I'd let you die that I just snapped and....”
“Esme, it's okay,” he presses a kiss to her temple. “What I did was fucked up. And I'm sorry I did it. That I lied to you. That I disappointed you.”
“You're a great dad, Tyler. And when I said that you should try being a dad for once...”
'Baby, stop. Just stop.  It's okay. And it's true, I've been away more than I've been home. I've missed a lot. But I always tried to make for it. With them. But I never tried hard enough to make up for it with you. And I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry.”
“There's things we both need to work on,” she says, and he nods.
“Me more than you though. I've got a lot more shit to work out.”
“We'll do that together, right?” she sounds worried, and she looks up at him, her top teeth digging into her bottom lip. “This isn't something you want to alone or...”
“I'm coming home, baby. I already said that. Neither of us are going to do this alone.”
She smiles at that. “How long do you think? That you'll be in New Zealand?”
“Few days. A week at the most. It'll take us a couple days once we get there to track down a location. Unless the IRA can get more info out of McMann before they kill him. And I asked for proof. That he's dead. So we know for sure. So we don't have to worry about showing up on our doorstep a year from now.”
“I'll definitely be able to sleep better at night if I know for sure he's gone. And when you're home and I don't have to sleep in that big old bed by myself.”
“Yeah, that'll be nice. I know I know I'll sleep like shit until I get home.”
“You sleep like shit anyway,” she sniffles.
“Well I'll sleep like bigger shit until I get home,” he chuckles.  “You should go...” he rubs his palms up and down her back. “...Nik's probably starting to get antsy. Your mom picking you up at the airport?”
“Kyle said he would do it.”  The youngest Drummond boy. The only 'non cop'. A firefighter in Denver. For the most part he's neutral when it comes to his opinions on his sister's choice in men and her hasty marriage and pregnancy. But when his mother gets out of hand and he can't handle anymore, he becomes what they call 'Pro Tyler'.  It's mostly to piss her off, but they appreciate the support. And he's a good uncle; taking the time out of his schedule to spend time with his nieces and nephews, unlike the others who have a hard time even remembering birthdays.
“You'll call me?” he asks. “When you get there? So I now you're safe and sound?”
She nods.  “Don't go to New Zealand without letting me know about it, okay? I'm thousands of miles away, but I still like to know where you are and if you're alright.”
“I'll call you,” he promises. “Give the kids hugs and kisses from daddy. Tell them I miss them. That I'll see them soon.”
“I will,” the tears are threatening again. “Be home soon, okay? I'll miss you.”
“I'll miss you too,” he takes her face in his hands and kisses; tender, sweet, long. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, Tyler. Please stay safe.”
“Always,” he says, and places a kiss to her forehead before taking a step backwards and watching her as she climbs the stairs to the jet. Smiling when she pauses in the doorway to give him a small wave before disappearing inside.
****
Kyle is already waiting at the edge of the tarmac when they arrive; leaning against the passenger's side door of his pick up truck, hands stuffed in the pockets of his navy blue Denver Fire Department jacket. The third youngest, he's the tallest and biggest of the three boys; just hitting six feet, with broad shoulders and chest and strong, powerful arms. He's the spitting image of their late father; brilliant blue eyes, the same easy smile and witty and sarcastic nature,  the graying hair clipped short to his head in a brush cut. He gives his sister a bright, cheerful smile as she raises her hand in greeting as she descends the jet steps, then hangs back as she and Nik exchange a brief conversation and a quick hug before Nik departs to meet with the waiting 'security experts' she'd assigned to the family.
“Who's that?” he asks, as he quickly strides towards his sister, relieving her of her carry on bag and suitcase. Watching as Nik...in her well tailored charcoal grey pant suit and pink blouse...climbs into the back of a Lincoln Navigator.  
“That's Nik. She's going to be staying at mom's too.”
“Friend of yours?”
Esme nods. “She's also Tyler's boss. Sort of. She's the one that calls him when she has work she needs done.”
“What kind of work?”
“We've talked about this. A million times. Private security.”
“Private security, huh?” he slings the strap of the carry on over his shoulder. “Why do I get the feeling that's code language for something else entirely?”
“It's been five and a half years, K. Let it go.”
“Yeah? Well It's been five and a half years of thinking you're full of shit. Hold up...” he places a protective arm across her stomach when the Navigator comes within feet of them on it's way off the tarmac.  And he notices how Nik is watching them; oversized sunglasses covering her eyes, a slow smile spreading across her face.  “She's cute,” he says.  “Your friend.”
“She's with Mark.”
He frowns. “Mark as in...”
“As in my ex Mark. The Mark who you dragged out of a bed at a hotel in Aspen and beat the shit out of in front of a prostitute. That Mark.”
“He's lucky all I did was beat the shit out of him. I should have killed him. I could have, you know. With my bare hands. I could have honestly killed him. Why would someone like her want to be a dick like him?”
“Maybe she didn't realize that you're single and 'looking to mingle',” Esme playfully digs her elbow into his side. “I mean, what's not to like about you? You're buff, crazy handsome, a firefighter. Chicks dig men in uniform. Even someone like Nik, I bet.”
Kyle chuckles. “Easy now. All I said was that she was cute. I'm not looking for you to hook me up.  Besides, I don't know if I could get with someone that's been with that prick. Not after all the stuff he's done to my little sister.”
“Typical, K. Always the protective older brother.”
“Always,” he declares. “How you doing, kid?” He wraps an arm around her shoulders and pulls her tight into his side, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Not sure about the red. Never thought I'd see you with that colour. What's that all about?”
“It is a long story that I do not have the energy to tell. But I'm dying it back as soon as I can get to a store and get a box of hair dye. I want this part of my life to be over. It's been a nightmare and I need every memory of it gone.”
“It's hair.”
“And I want it gone. It needs to be gone.”
“We can stop at a store before we get to mom's, if you're that hell bent on changing things. What did Tyler say about? Did he like it?”
“He was okay with it, I guess. He never complained about it. But I just want it gone. I don't like what it represents. I don't want to hang onto those memories. I need this part to be over.”
“This part as in Tyler or...”
“What?” she gives a short laugh. “No. Not as in Tyler. Tyler and I are fine. Sort of.”
Kyle arches an eyebrow.
“We aren't splitting up, so don't get hopeful.”
“Why would I be hopeful? I actually like the guy. I'm the only one who does. Everyone else has their heads so far up mom's ass they just go along with whatever she says. But I think he's  a good shit. It's kind of cool having an Australian as a brother in law. And he's good for you. Good to you. Worships the ground you walk on. And he's a great dad.”
She nods. “He is.”
“But? Why do I feel like there's a but coming on?”
“But, we're having some issues,” she admits.  “Not bad enough for us to call things quits. But bad enough that I had to come home. He's got a lot on his plate. With work. The thing he is working on is stressful and it's taking a lot out of him and he's not doing well. Mentally. I was only in his way in Ireland. He couldn't concentrate on doing his job when he was too busy worrying about me all the time.”
“This all sounds a little ominous,” he loads her things into the back seat of the truck, then opens her door for her, a hand on her elbow as he helps her climb into the seat. “All the more reason I think this private security business goes way deeper than you're letting on. What would he be doing in Ireland that would require private security?”
“Nik has a lot of international clients,” Esme explains, as she buckles her seat belt. “Tyler goes where she needs him.”
“For private security.”
Esme nods.
Kyle shakes his head. “You're full of shit,sis,” he says, and slams her door closed.
****
Their on the highway for several minutes before either of them speak again. Kyle turning down the volume on the radio and then taking a sip of coffee from the take out cup sitting in the holder between the seats.
“You want to talk about it?” he asks. “Whatever is going on? Whatever is happening between you and Tyler?”
She gives a small, almost apologetic smile. “Not really.”
“How bad is it?”
“I already told you. Not bad enough to split us up. There's no reason to hire a lawyer and get divorce papers drawn up.”
“What if I told you that mom's already been on google looking up good lawyers and taking their numbers down?”
Sighing, she shakes her head in disbelief.
“I know,” Kyle snorts. “What a bitch, right? Considering her marriage is a huge dumpster fire. She should be the last person judging anyone for their choices. You know she's convinced that he has women all over the globe? That he's hooking up with different people every place he goes?”
“She's a piece of work. I can't believe I'm willingly going there.”
“Does he? Have different women everywhere?”
She laughs. “No. He doesn't.”
“Is he cheating on you? Is that what the issue is? You found out about it and you're pissed and...”
“Tyler is not cheating on me. Tyler would never cheat on me. In the same way I'd never cheat on him. Why the hell is everyone so against us being together? It's been five and a half years. We have four children together. We are people still so bent out of shape about this?”
“Well you did run off to Australia, meet some random guy, hook up with him, and never come home. First time we're hearing about him is when he's in the hospital near death? In some messed up work related incident? What? What is a work related incident when you're in private security.”
“It's like being a cop. In a way. It's dangerous. Maybe even more dangerous than being a cop.”
“So he's packing heat, then.”
She nods. “And being shot at by other people packing heat. Among other things.”
“And he almost died?”
“Yes. On the job. He was shot...in the neck...and almost died.”
“Almost bled out. In your arms.”
She sighs. “Yes.”
“How the hell would that even happen? Why would you even be there? Where he's working? While he's working?”
“Because I was working too. With him. On the same thing.”
“Wait? What?” Kyle laughs. “I thought you were in Australia on a business trip.”
“I didn't meet him in Australia, Kyle. I mean, I did. In a way. I went to his place in Australia to meet him because we were going to be working together and Nik thought we should meet each other first.”
He frowns. “Nik? His boss? She's also your boss? What? How? I thought you were in business. Why would you and Tyler be working for the same person if he's in private security and you were in business?”
“This is a very long story. And it's weird and it's twisted and it's complicated and...”
“And we've got a two hour drive so start talking,”  he interjects. “What the hell is going on, Esme? Because there is something that you're not telling me. There's a lot you're not telling me. So talk. Now.”
She sighs heavily, chewing nervously on her bottom lip.  “I wasn't in business. I was in intel. I was hired by people like Nik to go places and get information. Valuable information. That no one else was able to get. On people that are suspected of doing some horrible things.”
“Like a spy?”
“Sort of, I guess. I don't know. I would just go where I was sent and weasel my way into peoples' lives and I'd get the information they'd need and then they'd go in and take care of things.”
“They? Who are they?”
“Mercenaries.”
Kyle's eyes narrow.  “Excuse me, what? Did you just say mercenaries?”
Esme nods.
“As in soldiers for hire?”
Another nod.
“You're kidding, right?” he gives a short laugh.  “You've got to be kidding. So what does this have to do with Tyler?”
“Tyler isn't in private security, K. He's a mercenary.”
“What?” he chuckles. “You're really expecting me to believe that? This is all a joke right? Some big joke that the two of you have cooked up to play on mom. Get her riled up. Give her some more gray hair and maybe some heart issues. There's no way you're being serious. Tyler? A mercenary?”
“It's how we met. Nik recruited him for a job that she needed me to take. We were sent to Dhaka.”
“Isn't that the capital of Bangladesh?”
“A drug lord kidnapped another drug lord's son. But Nik couldn't figure out where they were keeping the kid other than somewhere in the market area. So she went me in to poke around and make nice with the locals and see what I could dig up. And she sent Tyler with me to protect me. And to eventually get the kid away from bad guys and home safe to his family.”
“I am having a really hard time wrapping my head around all of this,” Kyle admits, confusing on his face, brow deeply furrowed.
“Tyler and I were pretending to be newlyweds there for humanitarian work. That's how we ended up...well...you know...”
“Fucking,” her brother finishes for her.
“And it went really well until it didn't. Things fell apart on the way to the extraction point. Tyler wasn't able to get there safely because the kid's father sent someone to try and steal the kid off of Tyler and....”
“What the fuck? What are you talking about right now?”
“I'm explaining it to you!” she snaps. “They didn't want to pay Tyler his money so they tried to steal the  kid back and all hell broke loose and we were the only two people from the team that didn't die and I had to hide out in the forest until the coast was clear and then walk back into town to meet you with Tyler and Ovi and...”
“Hold up...just hold up...Ovi? As in Ovi who lives with you?”
“There were cops everywhere,” she continues. “And the cops were in on it. And this drug lord Asif had these street hooligans chasing after us and it was still a big mess, so we had to hide in a sewer and Tyler's friend had to come and rescue us and he took us back to his house and then he back stabbed Tyler and Ovi had to kill him and...”
“Jesus Christ, are you honestly serious about all of this? What the hell, Esme? What in the ever loving hell?”
“...and we had to try and get across the Sultana Kamal Bridge but we needed help so Tyler got the guy that originally tried to steal Ovi back in the first place. And we had to split up and I went with them and Tyler stayed behind and...”  her hands begin to tremble, tears brimming in her eyes. “...and Ovi and I got across okay but Tyler had a harder time and a sniper shot him and get back up and then this kid...this fucking kid shot him in the neck...”  she wipes at the tears that manage to escape. “...and he was bleeding out and I was holding him and I was telling him not to give up...that he'd promised me we'd do all these things together and get to know one another better. And I had to put my hand over his  neck and there was so much blood. There was so much of it and there was nothing I could but watch him die.”
“Okay...okay...calm down..” Kyle drops one hand from the wheel and rubs at the back of her neck.  “Do you want me to pull over? I can pull over. Want me to?”
She shakes her head.  “That's how it happened How it really happened.  That's how Tyler nearly died. When he was stable, they transferred him to Australia and I went with him and I decided to stay with him. I didn't want to leave him there alone. I didn't want him to wake up and not have anyone there for him. So I stayed. And then I realized it was because I was in love with him and I wanted to be with him. And then I found out I was pregnant with Millie. So when he was well enough to be released, we moved in together and he asked me to marry him. That's how I ended up in Australia. With Tyler.”
Silence descends on the truck. Nothing but her soft sniffling and the windshield wipers back and forth as they clear away the light rain that's begun to fall. Out of the corner of her eye, Esme can see her older brother watching her; mouth slightly again, rendered speechless by her incessant rambling. And the hard truths it brought forth. His eyes rapidly -and repeatedly-  flicking between her and the road. Eventually, he pops open the compartment between their seats, pulling out a bottle of water and a handful of fast food napkins, gently drop the bounty in her lap.
“Thank you,” she manages through the remainder of the sobs wracking her body, and when she has a hard time opening the bottle because of the tremors in her hands, he does it for her.  Rubbing her knee softly when she gives him an appreciative smile.
“It's okay, kid,” he says. “Just try and stay calm. Everything's okay.”
“It's not. It's really not K. It's fucked up and it's a mess and I wish we'd never had to keep it a secret. But we didn't have a choice. It was to protect you guys. Just in case someone ever wanted revenge on Tyler. Just in case they didn't go right after him and went after family first.  We didn't want anything happening to any of you.”
“I get that. I do. I understand why you couldn't say anything. But...Esme...what the fuck right from the beginning? Why would you even get involved in all of this? Why would you even get involved with him?”
“It just happened. We didn't go into it wanting it to happen. Or expecting it to happen, It just did. And then it kept happening. For the entire five days we were there. We couldn't stop. And then when the job was done...my job was done...we realized that we wanted to keep seeing each other. We were going to take some of the money we were paid and travel. Spend time getting to know each other. To see if we could have something. Something real.”
“But why?  Why would you want that for yourself? Someone like him? That does that for a living? Something that's dangerous and scary and...”
“Being a firefighter is scary and dangerous,” she interjects.
“Being a firefighter and being a trained killer are two totally different things.”
“He isn't a trained killer. I mean, he is. If he has to be. He kills because he has to. He doesn't do many jobs where he has to kill people intentionally. Like assassinations or hits.”
“Oh my God,” Kyle groans. “This just goes from bad to worse.”
“He mostly does extractions. Like he did for Ovi. He gets hired to save people. And sometimes he kills other people to save them. To save himself.”
“Are you listening to yourself right now? Are you? Your husband kills people. And he gets paid for it. Does that sound at all normal to you?”
“I just told you! He doesn't just kill people. He helps people. Sometimes he has to kill. Especially if it's to save for himself.”
“Jesus...fucking...Christ...” Kyle mutters. “And you're okay with this? That he has to sometimes kill people?'
“It is what it is. It's the job. The people he kills deserve to be killed. He's not killing innocent people.”
“How do you know that? How do you know someone doesn't hire to take out someone that is innocent?”
“Because I know Tyler. And Tyler would not do that.  Every job he takes, he's very thorough and very detailed and he leaves no stone unturned. And he has great instincts and they never let him down.”
“I can't believe you're trying to rationalize this. How long has he been doing this?”
“Since he left the army. So about fifteen years, almost sixteen years, I guess.”
“And he's still doing it ? Even though you guys are married and have kids.”
She nods. “This is his last job. He has two kids he has to be find. They're being held somewhere in New Zealand.”
“And you came home because...”
“Because I knew he wouldn't be able to focus if I was there. That he'd be too worried about me and his head wouldn't be right into the job and those kids need him to be totally on his game. He wouldn't have been if I'd stayed.”
“Why? You're a big girl. You can take care of yourself. What would he be worried about?”
“I'm pregnant,” she reveals.  “He didn't want anything happening to the baby.”
“Esme are you serious? You're pregnant? You're having a baby?”
She nods.
“Holy fuck...” he runs a hand over his hair and down onto his face. “....what the hell have you gotten yourself into? Are you sure? That you are?”
“I'm one hundred percent sure. We've been trying. To have a baby. It's just happened sooner than we thought it would.”
“You're willingly bringing a baby into this goddamn mess?”
“I already have four. Tyler's been a mercenary longer than any of them have been alive.”
“Is that why you sent them away? With Ovi? Because of this mercenary shit?”
“Someone was after Tyler. They threatened to grab the kids and hurt them. So Tyler told Ovi to take the kids and run. To protect them.”
“This is insane,” Kyle breathes. “This is fucking insane.  My brother law kills people for a living.”
“Stop it!” she orders. “That's not all he does. He helps people.”
“I'm going to break his fucking neck. I'm going to hunt him down and I am going to beat the ever loving shit out of him.”
“For what? What has he done? Other than provide for his family?”
“What has he done?” He's gotten you...my sister...mixed up in this bullshit. In this life!”
“He didn't get me mixed up in anything. He didn't force me to stay with him. To fall in love with him. I did all of that willingly. It's not like he held a gun to my head and forced me to have sex with him or to marry him. You can't blame this entirely on him.”
“Like hell I can't! He got mixed up with you knowing what kind of life it would bring you. He could have just walked away and left you alone. And that's what he should have done. Even if you guys just fucked each other and then went your separate ways! But to get you tied up in more than that? Let you get mixed up in that life? He should have just fucked you and left you alone.”
She smirks. “I honestly never thought I'd hear you say that. That a guy should have just fucked your sister and took off.”
“I never thought I'd have to say it. But this isn't a normal guy. He's a fucking mercenary! He kills people!”
“And saves people,” she reminds her brother.
“I don't give a shit. Killing people sort of takes the shine away from saving them, don't you think? He had this life all along and he never should have let you get mixed up in it. If you loved you the way he says he does, he would have cut you loose. He wouldn't have wanted you to live this life. Why would you want this for someone you love?”
“Kyle, I got into this life knowing what he did and knowing what he's capable of. He didn't force me into anything, okay? You can't hold Tyler totally responsible for this. Because he's a good man and he's a good husband and he's a great father. And you can't deny him any of those things.”
“I didn't say he wasn't any of those things. But just because he's those things, doesn't mean he's not a goddamn hired killer.”
“For the last time!” she shouts. “That's not all he does! He helps people! Innocent people like Ovi! And if wasn't for Tyler, I never would have gotten out of Dhaka alive. So you need to shut the fuck about him being 'hired killer' and show him some respect. Because he's so much more than his job. So much more! And if you'd all give him a goddamn chance,  you'd realize that and stop shitting all over him all the time!”
“Whoa...whoa...settle down.  I'm not mom. I don't hate the guy. You know that.”
“He's my husband. He's the father of my children. And I am fucking sick of how she treats him all the time. Because he doesn't deserve that. He's not the horrible person she thinks he is. That she tells everyone he is.”
“I know that.  And I've never thought that about him. Ever. Like I said, he's a good shit. And he treats you well and he treats my niece and my nephews even better. And you know much I adore those kids. Like they're my own. I would do anything for those kids. And they wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him kicking in some DNA.”
“I'm just so tired of her shit and I know she's going to get on a tirade about him and I'm not in the fucking mood to deal with that. I'm worried about him and I miss him and I'm sick all the time and I'm so goddamn hormonal because of this baby!”
“Alright...easy...easy...” Kyle chuckles, and rubs the back of her neck soothingly.  “Just calm down.”
“I don't know what is wrong with me. It is so bad this time around. My hormones are out of control! They've never been this bad before.”
“”You're kidding right? They have been this bad before.”
“When?”
“When you were pregnant with the twins. You were off the charts insane when you were having them. Don't you remember? You were either crying or you were raging. No in between. Who was the one that was there? When Tyler was away? Who came to spend time with you and help out with Millie? I did. I was the one who had to bear the brunt of your hormones. I remember it very well.”
“Maybe I was a little...off.”
“A little off the reservation, maybe,” Kyle laughs and she glares at him.
“You're going be okay, kid,” he assures her. “You and that baby are going to be just fine. And I promise I won't kill Tyler when he gets home.”
“Thank you. I appreciate that. Because I kind of  like him and I like having him around.”
“I may break some of his bones or mess up that face of his.”
“Yeah, not the face, okay? He's kind of nice to look at it and I'd like to keep him that way.  Just don't go off on him. He's having a hard time and he doesn't need that shit. He's trying so hard. To keep his shit together. To keep us together. He's not a bad person, K.”
“I know he's not. And I know he's wildly and crazily in love with you. I've never doubted that for a second. I just worry about you, Esme. This is a hell of a life to be caught up in.”
“He's keep me and the kids safe for five and a half years. I trust him. With my life. With their lives. I'm safe with him. We're safe with him.”
Kyle nods slowly, considering her words.
“I just want this to be over with,” she laments.  “I just want him to come home. And stay home. Is that too much to ask?”
“You'd have to ask him that. Does he want to give it up?”
“This is his last job. He's done after this. And it's time. Because it's starting to break him down. I hate what it's doing to him. What it's doing to us.  I just want him home.”
“Soon,” Kyle says. “I'm sure whatever he's up to, it'll be over soon and he'll be back. He'll come home, kid. You know he will.”
She nods in confirmation, then leans the side of her head against the cool glass of the window. Seeking some relief for the overwhelming fear and loneliness threatening to swallow her whole.
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howtowhumpyourhiccup · 5 years ago
Text
We Care Not
Summary: On Berk, children quickly learned that their friends weren't there to stay. Harsh Winters, famines, illnesses, dragons, so many of them barely even made it to the age of ten. And sure, Hiccup made it to the age of fifteen. But why should the other remaining five care about him? He was a runt, destined to be taken from them sooner or later. Why open up their hearts to him, why care, when all that would lead to is even more hurt?
Rating: Teen and up (I think?)
Words: 1 706
Author’s Notes: Had this one sitting in my list of "fics to post" for ages because I was never sure if I should post it. Not quite sure whether this one counts as whump or not either. Or how to even properly tag this one.
Constructive criticism is highly appreciated.
Enjoy!
Also, Tumblr, bring back the ability to put lines into a post with a button.
Also, also, this fic is based on @digitaldaisy99‘s post. You can view it here.
Ao3
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Astrid remembered having a friend once. A dear friend.
She was four, like Astrid was at the time. Their birth had been almost days apart. Because of this, they celebrated them together.
Her hair was as black as charred wood and ended at her shoulders, just like her mother's. It wasn't often Vikings kept their hair short, but they did. Her eyes were a clear blue, like a rare sunny sky. She was the most fun of all her friends.
Second only to Hiccup, who could draw and made such pretty pictures with charcoal and paper, with sticks and in dirt.
Named Unn, she always came up with the most fun games. Her energy was endless and she never failed to make them all laugh. The memories Astrid kept of her, they were bright. The few times she took a moment to remember her, she would smile.
Unn was small, though. Her legs and arms were as spindly as thin tree branches. Or more like twigs. Not as small as Hiccup, but there was barely a difference between the two. She wasn't even an inch taller than him and everybody was taller than him.
Sometimes they played on the plaza, other times they played in the forest right outside the village, the beach was also a fun place to be. When they were daring enough, they would even go up to Mildew's cabbage patch at the edges of the village. It was always Unn who suggested teasing the old man. He was mean to the village children.
She was an innocent girl. A playful girl.
When her life was taken, it was during a raid. Not by dragons, but by other people. The Winterbeards, a tribe of hardened Norsemen and women who sought resources that they didn't have and stole them from other islands.
Astrid didn't know until the morning after the fighting. When those that couldn't defend themselves, like them, were allowed out of hiding and she wondered why Unn and her mother never joined them in the Great Hall.
She never got to say goodbye. They never got to play again. So sudden had Unn been taken away from her.
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There was once a little boy on Berk by the name of Ivar and he was Snotlout's best friend. Strong, husky, boisterous, he was the dream son any Viking couple would've loved to have. He was a big one ever since the day of his birth.
The two of them were always up to no good. They'd get in trouble, either with Mildew or other Vikings on Berk. Several times they had also sought out the dangers in the forests outside of the village. Usually ended up running at the smallest of sounds too.
Out of all his friends, Snotlout thought he was the best.
There was a harsh Winter one time. Not the harshest ever, but harsh enough. On their island, that particular season was followed by an Eel Pox epidemic. Every single year, again and again, without fail.
Little Ivar got sick. Many of the Hooligans did. It took Gothi much too long to receive the ingredients necessary for a cure. More than half of the crew send out with a longboat to gather them got sick on the way, delaying their journey further.
One afternoon six-year-old Snotlout walked up to Ivar's house to ask if he was all better and if he could come out to play yet. What he found were two mourning parents instead.
Neither Ivar, nor his little sister, Inge, had made it.
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The Thorston twins, Ruffnut and Tuffnut, they once had an older brother.
Like most Nuts, that is exactly what his name ended on. The thing with him was, his name was Nutnut. "Nut The Nut" they used to call him. Or simply, "Nut" for short.
He wasn't like other Thorstons. He wasn't the epitome of chaos and trouble. In fact, he was quite calm. Shy even! When the twins were five, Nutnut was already on his way to puberty.
He was a caring big brother. Always looked out for his younger siblings, got them out of any trouble they may end up in, made sure they ate and washed and slept on time. The twins were a handful and they knew it. When their mother needed a helping hand, with no supportive fathers in their lives, Nut was always there. He was a loving son.
During one bad dragon raid, Nut couldn't find his siblings.
Unaware of the dangers they were putting themselves in, Ruff and Tuff followed the fire brigade around instead of staying hidden like all the others who were told to hide.
Nut spend so long finding them, evading dragons and their fire left and right until he was unfortunate enough to cross paths with a Monstrous Nightmare in a ruined part of the village where there were no adults around.
There wasn't enough left to identify him with.
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Fishlegs' interest for books and dragons, it was greatly influenced by another girl in the village.
Dagny was a cousin of his and like many of the members in his family, she was a hefty girl. Vikings would say she had the promise to be a brawny one later in life, but she was much more of a brainy one instead.
Families were close on Berk and Dagny often read books together with Fishlegs and his older sister, who often told them many stories. Dagny and Fishlegs were of the same age. Dagny was only a few weeks older.
Nobody talks about Dagny anymore. Her passing due to a famine caused by the dragons was a painful one. Dagny's parents, they didn't last long after her death. Many believed they followed her to the next world, a broken heart too much to bear.
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There were twenty-five of them. That Winter, Hiccup was the first of twenty-five babies born the following twenty-four months.
A lot of them didn't make it to their first year. More died by the time they were five. When Hiccup reached the age of ten, once again the first of that season, the six of them were all that remained.
It didn't hurt. At some point, waking up one morning and finding out another friend had died became commonplace.
They took it as a lesson. A lesson that caring hurt far worse than not caring did.
And so they all stopped.
"Guys!"
Astrid remembered having a friend once. A dear friend. Snotlout, Ruffnut, Tuffnut, Fishlegs, they all remembered.
His name was Hiccup. He was fun, he could draw, he was really smart, but he was also small.
He was born too early. When a famine struck he was always one of those most affected. Every year during "Eel Pox Week", Gothi called it a miracle he wasn't taken back by the Gods. With each new attack by either dragon or man, he needed to hide because he couldn't defend himself. Unlike the other kids, he couldn't even lift up a bola. He was the most defenseless.
He was the next one. They were all sure of it.
"Guys?" On his eight birthday, three years after Snotlout started picking on him and two years before their very last friend died, Astrid, Fishlegs, Ruffnut and Tuffnut also decided to stop playing with him.
It was easier to stop caring for him than it was to care and lose him too.
Hiccup met them on the plaza that day, as he always did once his father finally let him go.
They didn't listen to his calls, ignored his requests to play, they pretended he didn't exist at all as they walked away.
The following days and onwards, he would notice they were starting to be mean to him too. Like Uncle Spitelout and some of the other adults.
There was little Hiccup could do, but watch them leave him behind as they decided to play elsewhere. Away from him. And it hurt.
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The remaining oldest children of Berk, now all fifteen and fourteen years of age, they met up to train together in the woods. They'd seen Astrid go there to practice with her axe and simply followed her there. Dragon training was about to begin for them soon, they wanted to train too.
Although, for the twins and Snotlout that meant fooling around. For Fishlegs, it wasn't so much as "training" as it was avoiding the three others as they picked on him.
As for Astrid, she didn't get much done when the other teens refused to leave her alone.
As they made their way back home, practice quickly forgotten, Astrid's gaze caught the sight of Hiccup as he worked at the forge as Gobber's apprentice.
Her axe swung over one shoulder, she took a moment to watch as he gathered some swords and struggled to hold them all in his arms.
When they fell, he threw his arms up in exasperation and Astrid felt a sigh escape her. A sigh of disappointment.
Briefly, their eyes met and Hiccup froze up. He only stood there for about a solid second before he ducked behind the counter awkardly. Either to hide or pick up the swords he'd dropped.
When was the last time they'd talked? Not as friends, but as mere acquaintances?
Astrid realized she didn't care. She didn't mourn the friendship they used to have and lost so many years ago now.
She didn't care. None of them did.
Hiccup was going to die sooner or later. All their previous friends had and many of them had been much bigger and stronger than him. Being friends with the heir only meant pain in the future. It was easier not too care.
She joined the other teens again. The ones who made an inkling of a chance of making it to adulthood in this world. She wouldn't say she was friends with them, but they were all headed into the same direction and they were about the only others of her age. Who else was she going to hang out with?
They were heading towards the Great Hall for supper. They headed there, not knowing that this would be the night Hiccup would shoot down a Night Fury, changing Berk for the better.
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ofclaires · 5 years ago
Text
SELF PARA.
Date: April 18, 2020, noon in America.
Location: Room 102
Brief summary: Claire calls her mom ! They talk about sheep. This is the happiest thing I’ve ever written and I hate it.
As Mary suggested, it was Claire who made the room look like no one lived in it – spotless, like a hotel room. However, it was not just a coping mechanism to keep her mind off of the way things had happened between her and Kass, she'd been looking for something. It had taken ages, but she'd found it, tucked back behind her desk, precariously perched above an outlet: a postcard. Claire doesn't do anything with it for days, just keeps it under her pillow, but she thinks about it. She's been rereading it a lot.
Claire –
Hope everything is well at your school. You have no idea how thrilled I was so excited to hear from Callum that you were attending college – I never got to go myself, you know, so...you're a first generation! I think they do scholarships for that, you should see what's available. I know it's been a while since we've talked, but Olaf's mom is very sick, so we'll be moving back here to be with her. And we're getting married! We'd love for you to be here, if you can.
Miss you, Your mom +354 267-7777
The postcard is about a year old and worn at the edges. Claire never made any plans to go to Iceland. ( She never liked horses all that much anyway. ) When Claire first got the postcard last year, she’s pretty sure she broke not one but two of the punching bags in the gym – because after everything that happened, her mom wasted little time getting hitched with some guy. Some guy that was gonna treat her like shit, and Claire resolved she was DONE. She has too many memories of laying in her twin bed in the trailer, holding her hands over her ears as she waited for the screaming to stop, unable to sleep until she was sure her mom was getting into bed safely. Sometimes, she would sneak into the next room, crawl into her mom’s bed and wait.
Claire’s tired of waiting for people that don’t come back. After all, she’s been one of those people.
She doesn't know why she's started thinking of her mom so much now. Maybe it’s a result of allowing Callum back into her life or the fact that so many people are thinking of their parents, with the email that came out recently. She feels glad that her mom is semi-normal and clueless about what she does. Claire hopes that keeps her mom safe, from everything that's been going on at Gallagher. It's been a hard year on everyone, that should not be undercut, and while she'd like to say that her fight with Kass is the biggest thing on her mind...terrorism is just a tad more daunting.
Claire keeps her distance from the witness protection students for good reason. But she worries about Francis and his close friendship with one of them, and she worries about Kass, who has a tendency to form friends and attachments everywhere. She never thought she'd be glad about Nudge being totally preoccupied by a boyfriend, but at least it makes her feel like Nudge is safe.
After all, hanging out with one of those kids is what cost Amelia.
She taps her foot anxiously, whole legging shaking, which rattles the desk that she's sitting at. She knows there are things she doesn't want to die without doing, she just doesn't know if she's brave enough to do them. Claire doesn't even notice her own nervous tick until Tilly rolls over and looks down at her from her bunk. She gives Claire a look.
"I'm fine."
Disbelief. Tilly is too smart for that, and Claire has never been great at masking her emotions.
"Well, mostly fine. Do you mind leaving the room for a minute? Nothing freaky, I just want to make a phone call," Claire asks, and Tilly's not the type to be difficult, so she agrees.  But now that Claire's said the words out loud, she realizes that she wants to follow through with them – she's just scared. Granted, she should feel lucky that her mom is some regular lady in Reykjavik rather than some hired assassin or secret member of a terrorist organization. It's the little things.
Claire is pretty sure the dial tone is the worst sound she’s ever heard. She grips her phone tight, like...she might break it, if she squeezed hard enough, and she has to physically calm herself down, remind herself to breathe.
“Halló?” An unfamiliar voice answers the line. “Hver er þetta?”
Claire does not speak any Nordic languages, so she just stutters. “Um, hello? Is Maggie there?”
“Oh, hello! Yeah, she’s around here somewhere...in the garden, probably,” the man chuckles, switching to English without a second thought. “Who should I say is on the line?”
Claire likes how he phrases that, like she can make up anything for him to say and he’s happy to go along with it. She considers it, but shrugs, “You can say it’s Claire.”
The line goes silent for a moment, and she has to assume that this is her new husband – Olaf. He has a nice voice, but the last husband had a nice voice too. She’s met lots of boyfriends with nice voices, and by now, she’s realized there’s no way to really know a person until you get to know them. Instinct means next to nothing, you can’t trust it.
“Yes, of course. Hi – Claire.” He emphasizes her name, like he’s shocked that he’s gotten to say it, and then Claire spends the next ten minutes waiting in anticipation. She starts biting her fingernails, a habit she thought she broke years ago, but waiting on the line for her mom makes her FEEL like a child again.
“Claire, sweetie? Is that you? Oh my god, are you alright?” Her mom’s voice is like honey to Claire’s ears, bringing back memories she thought didn’t exist. Curled up in bed after long nights, pushing Claire’s hair back away from her face as she tells extravagant stories of pirates and vikings, eating junk food until the sun comes up.
“Hi, mom.” Ever reticent.
“How are you? I mean, I’ve heard from Callum a bit, he’s such a nice boy, but really, how are you?”
“I’m fine. It’s – it’s just been a while, so I thought I might...try your line,” Claire’s voice gets choked up near the end, and there’s tears in the corners of her eyes. She used to never cry, but she’s been doing it a lot lately, for some reason. Maybe she’s getting more in touch with her feelings, which is a horrifying thought.
“Well, it’s good to hear from you! It’s the first nice day we’ve had in a while, so I’ve just been out in the garden – I’m making Olaf fix the dishwasher, damn thing is ALWAYS acting up,” she laughs, and Maggie talks fast – it’s apparent she’s nervous, trying to fill the noise with some chatter. “And we’ve got sheep, and chickens, you would love these little guys.”
Claire furrows her brow. “Mom, you...you HATE gardening. And you also hate dirt. And chickens,” she adds, and she can already feel her heart sinking, because it’s just like her mom to meet a guy and completely reinvent herself into someone new. Claire’s seen her mom go through phase after phase – granted, gardening is a bit better than psychedelics, probably.
“Not any more! I’m a changed woman!” Claire can only nod emphatically at that, because, well, of course she is. “What are you studying again?” It’s also just like Maggie to act like it hasn’t been, oh, five years since they’ve spoken. Just launching into conversation like it’s normal, skirting around the rough stuff. Maggie always did that – avoided the tough conversations until it was too late.
“Listen – Mom, I just...I wanted to call to say I’m sorry. About everything that happened, I shouldn’t have...and I should’ve called sooner too, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened, and I still can’t – I –”
“Claire, honey, please. It’s alright, I’ve – I’ve moved past all of that, and...sometimes I do think about it, you know? And I wonder what my life would be like if you hadn’t stepped in when you did, or...if I’d even have one. I made some mistakes too, we both did. That doesn’t matter now.”
But to Claire, it still matters, at least a little. As long as she still dreams about the blood on her hands, it will matter. But it’s nice to hear her mom say it, and it’s a comfort to know that her mother’s life isn’t ruined by what she did – that things go on. She’s spent years imagining worse case scenarios, the turmoil she’d put her mother through, too afraid to reach out for fear of hearing the worst. This, at least, is some comfort.
“It’s okay, I know it can’t have been easy – forced to raise me on your own, and all. If I had a kid I’d probably drop it off on the doorstep of a nunnery or something.” Was that a thing? A nunnery?
“Don’t give me too much credit, I sure tried to get out of it – and god, your dad had it easy, doing God-knows-what in God-knows-where with his shitty band.”
“Is this the part where you tell me my dad is like, Mick Jagger or something?”
“Jesus, Claire, how old do you think I am?”
This makes Claire laugh, and after a moment, they’re BOTH laughing, and if it weren’t for the miles between them, it’d feel nostalgic – like coming home after school and throwing her backpack across the floor of their trailer. She’d sit at the kitchen table, eat dinosaur nuggets and Kraft mac & cheese while her mom would put on the radio, sing along to Dolly Parton in some ridiculous outfit. Claire remembers the bad days best, but when she remembers the good days, they’re really good.
“You’re happy though?” Claire asks, “I mean, you like this guy?”
“Yeah, I really like this guy – and I KNOW I don’t have a great track record, but he’s good. He’s really good. I mean, I’m out here gardening! I have chickens! He’s the real deal, and...he’s a great cook. I know it seems sort of crazy, packing up and moving to another country, but I really love him. You’ll get it someday, when you meet the right person.”
Claire rolls her eyes at that, in spite of herself. She’s glad her mom can’t see her face. She still doesn’t know what to think about love, but she has a feeling that it’s not really for her. She’s the metaphorical equivalent of Iceland – too distant, too much effort.  
Then again, some people seem to think moving to Iceland is worth it.
“Okay.”
“Wait! Oh, Claire, what are you doing this summer? Do you want to come stay with us?”
Claire wrinkles her nose, “And what? Shear sheep?”
“Yeah!” Maggie replies enthusiastically, not picking up on the note of disgust in Claire’s voice ( or choosing to ignore it. ) “It could be fun, and I’d love for you to meet Oly. It’s a great little place, and summer’s really the only time worth visiting because it’s pretty much all darkness from September to March. You’ve seen that little video on the Youtube, with that guy–”
Claire cannot recall the little video on the Youtube. “I don’t know, I’ll think about it. Summer classes and stuff, you know.”
“Oh, of course, I’m sure you work so hard!” Maggie sounds so PROUD over the phone, and Claire wonders what her mom would think if she knew the truth about everything. Claire doesn’t know whether to be happy or sad about the fact that her mom blissfully ignores everything that’s difficult, inviting Claire for the summer as if no time has passed.
“Yeah, so, um...tell me more about the chickens and sheep and stupid dishwasher, I guess. And the city? What’s that like?”
Claire’s happy to sit on the line for thirty more minutes, listening to her mom describe her new life, and they chat animatedly, like they’re at that kitchen table or laying in bed ‘til dawn, uninterrupted by the rest of the world. For thirty minutes, there’s no Blackthorne, no terrorist attacks, no witness protection students, or interpersonal drama. There’s only Claire and her mom ( mostly her mom, going on as Claire shakes her head and interjects, rolling her eyes as her mom teases. ) Although Claire knows better than to trust a calm before a storm, than to believe that nice things like this last. She won’t get her hopes up about the summer, because knowing Maggie, there’s a last-minute cancellation already in the works.
But she’ll enjoy this moment, right now, curling up on her bedspread like she’s a little kid again. So, when they get off the phone after a while, Claire just – she looks up at the slats of the bunk bed and smiles, so wide that it makes her face hurt a little – does smiling usually hurt like that? Now she’s pitying all the happy people.
Claire gets up to pin the postcard above her desk, deciding that there’s no point in hiding it underneath everything again. It’s probably not a good idea to get excited about even something so fleeting as weekly calls, but Claire is a glutton for disappointment, it seems. Lately, it’s felt like a big piece of her life is missing, and even if this one doesn’t fit perfectly in its spot, it’s still pretty damn good, because it fits perfectly in a different place – one she’d stopped noticing because it had been empty for so long. Optimism is a feeling she’s never really afforded herself before, but it feels good.
Well, as they say in Iceland:
Þetta reddast.
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rueitae · 5 years ago
Text
Forget Me Not
My fic for the @plance-spring-zine now that it’s shipped out!
In a world where humanity is confined to the treetops to survive, Lance finds himself stranded deep in the forest away from home as winter (and certain death) approaches swiftly. He finds a last glimpse of hope in a fading point of light. What he finds on the other side of the light not only saves his life, but saves his heart as well.
It's a winter he never wants to forget.
Rating: Teen
Length: 9.850 words
Pairing: Plance
Tags: Major Character Death (though the story continues in the afterlife). Angst and fluff with a happy ending. sick fic. emotional hurt/comfort. domesticity. goddess pidge. mortal lance.
Read on Ao3
~~~~~
Lance needs to be home before the earthquakes start.
But he isn’t leaving without Keith. 
“Keith! Keith where are you? Say something!” Lance yells breathlessly in between sprints. He hates being the responsible adult, especially since it means searching for an angry preteen deep in the woods.
A gangly root hidden by dense undergrowth catches his ankle. He slips forward, heart jumping to his throat as the ground slams into his face. Mud splatters his bare arms and soaks into his pants.
The Great Forest predates even the Disasters. And with large, winding roots that criss-cross narrow paths, Lance should be more careful. 
He pushes himself up and ignores the mud staining his clothes and the scrapes and bruises that might mar his skin. His health and hygiene won’t matter if he can’t find Keith and get them both home in time. He curses the kid’s recklessness. The chase took him into territory unfamiliar even to the cartographers. Lance isn’t sure he can find home at this point.
“Keith!” he screams again at the top of his lungs, desperate. Thunder steals the rest of his words and lightning flashes overhead. The perpetually overcast sky seems darker now as if it were night instead of the middle of the day, and a single drop of rain lands on his cheek.
It won’t be long now. The mystical force that protects the Great Forest from the outside elements wanes as it does every fall, only to return with the first signs of spring.
The forest, high in the trees, is the only safe place left on Earth.
It’s where Lance - and Keith and Hunk - should be. 
“Say anything!” Lance yells. “Just let me know you’re okay!” The rolling thunder increases in frequency and his breaths speed to match it. “Come on, Keith! Do you really think Shiro would want you risking your life for him like this?”
Not that Shiro has time to feel guilty over it, Lance thinks. The doctors are convinced this is Shiro’s last winter - if he even makes it to spring. Refusing to accept the diagnosis, Keith ran off in search of the forest goddess, to ask her if she would save Shiro like she saved him as a baby.
He refused to let anyone tell him the forest goddess had no control over human diseases - if she even exists.
Only the sound of rain falling onto the leaves of the trees and down on him answers. Lance falls to his hands and knees in exhaustion, working to catch his breath and slumping with a heavy heart. He’s not going to find Keith in time at this rate. 
A crisp autumn breeze shoots through the air and the rain picks up in intensity. Lance sits up and shivers, holding his arms close to himself. He prays that the legend of the forest goddess is true and that she led Hunk and Keith to each other at least, and home.
He can only afford to do the same for himself after he finds shelter. Then he can worry about surviving the Disasters until spring.
In the near distance, a grove of trees seems brighter than the rest of the forest, as if it’s summer’s last bastion.
It will have to do, whatever it is.
Lance sprints, stretching his body to its limit for this glimmer of hope. The ground softens as the rain continues to fall, mud sucking at his feet and hampering his speed.
The trees’ shadows blend into the murky dark as the light from the grove fades. Gusts steady and the air chills as the rain intensifies, sapping the heat from his arms and heart. 
He will die for certain if he doesn’t make it to safety. This light is all he has to grasp onto.
Lance isn’t sure what possesses him to yell, “Wait for me!” Keith and Hunk won’t be able to help, and no one lives out here.
As if in response to his cries, the light steadies. Lance breaks through the treeline and is stunned into stopping.
Any other day he'd be in awe at the ruins before him, looking older than most pre-Disaster structures that survived. Moss and vines coat the finely carved columns arranged in a circle, mirroring the treeline, but all but one lay broken as large pieces of stone.
At the center shines the source of the light.
Lance walks towards it. With no shelter in sight, he knows he should be panicking, but this place holds a sense of peace that even the howling winds can’t disturb.
The light emanates from an orb atop a chest-high pedestal and shines on his face like a torch amid the deepening darkness surrounding him. Swirls of spring greens and yellows dance in the orb, illuminated only by the very last flicker of light.
His heart twists in fear when can’t see the ruins any longer, much less the treeline he passed to get to them. He swallows a sob in his throat and cries. Soon he'll be locked in complete darkness, awaiting death by starvation - if the Disasters don’t reach him first.
"I'm so sorry, Mama," he whispers. He has his voice to keep him company at least, though it’s a poor distraction from his fear.
Unintelligible whispers reach his ears, quickly overcome by running water far calmer than the raging floods he’s used to. 
His jaw drops. The sounds seem to be coming from the glass orb, the light now only a dot.
He reaches out and touches it.
Instantly roaring water rushes over him. It threatens to overtake and wash him away, but he pushes back, unwilling to be swept away to his death so easily. He tries to hold tight to the orb, but his fingers pass through. Yet… he stands firm as the current washes over him. 
When Lance dares to open his eyes, he is no longer among the ruins. Streaks of blues and whites stream across a black void with no distinguishable landmarks. A circle of solid blue pools beneath his feet.
He doesn’t know where he is or what is pushing him, but stubbornness and fear alone freeze him in place.
"Lance!"
Surprised to hear a voice besides his own, he searches for the owner. An indistinct figure waves to him from a puddle of green. Pools of purple, red, and yellow complete the circle, each in the exact place where the columns stood.
"Lance, let go!"
He can’t tell who the voice is, but it tingles with familiarity. The tone promises far better than the alternative that awaits him here or outside.
So he lets go.
~~~~~
Lance wakes to the sound of chirping birds and the sweet aroma of flowers. He rests on something soft, with a light weight on top of him.
It’s warm, like the first day of spring. He moans in contentment. He imagines lying on a bed of grass surrounded by his friends and family celebrating the end of winter; a far cry from the cold and darkness he's just come from.
Wait. The warmth on his shoulders feels so real. How can it be when the sun hides behind the clouds through the winter?
He opens his eyes and sits up too quickly, his head spinning with vertigo. He nearly falls back down, but once the dizziness fades, he isn’t sure he believes what he sees.
His bed is really more of a lounge chair, plush and upholstered with purple fabric, and the same soft down in the pillows packs the blanket.
He’s back in the ruins, but they’re no longer ruined. Five intact columns in a circle reach for the cloudless blue sky, surrounded themselves by dense forest. A different color - purple, red, blue, green, and yellow - coats each of them. Between them, thick grass and clusters of wildflowers grow around neat stone sidewalk that lead to the where he lies in bed...and where the orb sits on a pedestal in the exact center.
It looks like the home of a god - the forest goddess, he supposes as he sucks in a terrified breath. What else explains the void and how the autumn tempest became peaceful springtime? Was he rescued or kidnapped?
"You woke up sooner than I thought."
The voice from behind startles him, and Lance falls off the makeshift bed onto soft grass, his legs entangled with the blanket. 
He stands clumsily, peering over the back of the bed-chair, recognizing the last voice he’d heard.
Time to meet the forest goddess.
Lance keeps his head low (that was proper procedure for meeting a deity, right?). His gaze slowly rises starting from her sandals. Pale green robes drape her figure and golden jewelry shines in the sunlight. Her necklace holds a green gem with swirls of similar hues twisting about inside. Her auburn hair is untamed and cut short to her chin and her glasses...
Her glasses?
Finally, he looks upon her face...
And remembers everything.
Fourteen years old and lost in the forest. She holds his hand and walks him to the edge of the village, scolding him for not listening to his parents.
Sixteen and she teaches him the calls of birds and where the animals live. She jumps into piles of leaves with him in the early fall. 
Eighteen and they explore the forest together. The ruins are her temple and home. 
Twenty when he realizes how lonely she is and how much his friendship means to her. He kissed her forehead, promising to never forget her -
Told her how she’d affected his heart.
Not a forest goddess. Pidge hates that term, prefers “spirit”.
Love wasn’t strong enough. He'd forgotten her. Again.
"Oh quiznak," he moans. His arms drape over the back of the bed-chair as he falls forward. "Pidge, I - I’m so sorry."
She shrugs and gives him a sympathetic smile. "It's not your fault, Lance. You're mortal. You're going to forget me every time we part."
Anticipation drains from his body, at ease in her presence. The fond memories of their time together overwhelm him with joy, and he can think of only one way to release it. 
Pidge blinks in surprise as he approaches, such a human response that always makes him forget she isn’t. “Lance? What are you — “ 
He wraps his arms around her. “I hate missing you when I don’t know I’m missing you,” he says. “You left so suddenly. I thought I’d never see you again!”
She stiffens and protests, “Lance! We talked about this. You’re getting older and I don’t age - “
“You’re still my friend first,” he interrupts. He doesn’t want to hear her completely rational and valid explanation. He knows he’s being selfish, but he doesn’t care. He won’t remember or miss her. Pidge will watch him live without her in blissful ignorance and happiness before watching him die…
“I love you,” he confesses, echoing their last meeting. “I’m okay with whatever you want us to be. I don’t want to see you hurt anymore than you already are.” His heart breaks at his willingness to accept no for an answer.
Reluctantly she relaxes and reciprocates the hug, and the longer he holds her, the tighter she grips him. “Thank you,” she whispers. He takes small comfort in her regretful tone, at least knowing the rejection doesn’t come from a lack of feelings. 
“You’re not supposed to be here,” she says after a long pause, dropping her arms from his back. “Mortals aren’t supposed to be able to enter this place.” Her brows furrow in thought. “I think. It’s never happened before.”
“But you saved me,” Lance says as he backs away. The pain of rejection is easily put aside by her attention to the problem at hand while a sense of foreboding bubbles in his gut. “Is that why you called out in that void place?”
“It is,” she admits. She paces for several steps, twisting fistfuls of fabric from her sleeves. “But you got there on your own, Lance. I don’t understand why or how but,” she sighs and offers a weak, but soft smile, “at least you’re safe.”
Safe. The word triggers panic. “Hunk and Keith. Are they okay?” he squeaks. “Did—”
“They’re fine,” Pidge interrupts. She pivots to the glass orb and beckons him to follow. Lance stands behind her, wary that the orb may once again whisk him away without warning. 
She waves a hand over it. The greenish hues transform into Hunk’s porch. There, his family ushers him and Keith inside, and a giant wave crashes against the door as soon as they slam the door shut. The water blends into swirling teals as the scene fades, the orb returning to its base greens.
Lance clutches his chest at the close call. It seems the floods are the first Disaster this winter, but at least Keith will be in good hands with Hunk’s family.
“I had to make sure they got back to the village,” Pidge says, trembling. Tears prick at her eyes when they meet his. “I knew you were out there,” she growls in frustration. “I just don’t understand how you’re here. You should be dead.”
Lance forces himself to smile for her sake; there’s no sense in adding any unneeded angst to her immortal life. Pidge has always been more human than she lets on, her love of human progress and joy in tinkering a testament to that. She needs comforting just like he does. 
“Well, I’m here.” He shrugs, putting on an air of confidence. “It doesn’t matter how it happened. You can just send me home, right? We can figure it out in the spring.”
Pidge doesn’t respond right away. Every second that passes causes his smile to deepen into a frown, worry churning in his gut. 
His heart twists at his conclusion. “You can’t,” he says. The memories of his time with Pidge play on fast forward in his mind, none during the dead of fall and winter. “And you can’t leave until spring either.”
Pidge nods. “I’m sorry, Lance. I know how close you are to your family.” She lifts her arms and green balls of light flicker at her fingertips. “I’m not even sure if I can once my powers return if I don’t find out how you managed to get here in the first place.”
An entire winter apart from his family? And they’d think him dead? In a strange immortal realm where he isn’t supposed to be? 
His heart drops into his stomach. 
But he’s with Pidge, and that emboldens him. “Ha. Are you kidding? Of course you’ll be able to get me home,” he boasts instead. “Pidge, I have seen you do amazing things.” He pivots on his left foot, gesturing wildly at the world around them. “You’ve saved more people over the centuries than I can count, and everyone remembers when you brought us Keith.” He snorts and puts a hand on his hip. “Hard to forget a walking tree.” 
Instead of glowing, Pidge clenches her fists. “I couldn’t save his father,” she confesses. 
“I’m sorry,” he says automatically in an attempt to match her mood before trying to lift it. “You saved Keith though. You did what literally anyone would do.”
Pidge closes her eyes. “I just… when I first realized what I was, I thought I could save everyone. People still drown, still burn, still get hit by debris. I can’t control the elements, only bolster the forest.” 
She takes a deep, trembling breath. “I’m so sick of not knowing why me,” she yells upwards. “I’ve tried to fix things, but it’s never enough! Maybe if the other elements were regulated like I do with the forest, but,” she drops to the knees and pounds her fists into the ground, “I have waited so long, and no one has come to take charge of them.”
Anger fills him at the implication that there should be others like Pidge to control the elements that keep humanity confined, that make the earth before the Disasters more legend than history with every generation...and that she’s so alone. 
He’s by her side in an instant, hand on her back to let her know he is here. “I don’t understand. Are the others lazy? Don’t they care about how bonkers the world is?”
“I don’t think they exist yet,” Pidge spits in disgust. Lance helps her to stand, struck by the dark bags under her eyes contrasting with paler skin than he remembers. Can immortals get tired?  She walks to the green column and places her hand on a single decorative marking. “The green pillar is the only one that glows.” She sighs, more reflective than angry now. “It’s been like that ever since I was brought here.”
“Wait, brought? You didn’t come here on your own?” Something clicks in his mind as her strange phrasing comes together. “Didn’t you always know what you were?”
Her face twists in uncertainty, transitioning to defeat. She drops her hand from the pillar and turns to face him, shoulders slumped. 
“It hurts to think about sometimes,” she begins. “That’s why I never said anything to you before. I used to be human.”
“Wait, what?” Lance shrieks in shock. 
Pidge nods, giving him a perturbed glance before explaining. “I remember Earth the way it used to be, before the Galra came and incited the constant natural disasters. My family escaped to the forest, but it was wild too, just like the elements. They founded the village you live in.”
“The Galra are real,” Lance echoes disbelievingly, “and you used to be human.” Lance laughs. “Next you’ll be saying I’m a guardian spirit too.” There seem to be a few job openings, and he’d be better than no one.
Pidge scowls and clenches her fists. “I’m telling the truth! I — “ she pauses, her entire demeanor changing. She stares at him, eyes wide and body rigid. 
“I’m sorry,” Lance blurts out of shame. This did explain a lot, such as her mannerisms and attachment to the village. She had a family. “How - how long have you been alone?”
Pidge doesn’t respond. She doesn’t look angry at him any longer either, but she looks scared - for him.
The moment breaks as she coughs. Lance winces at the deepness and how wet it sounds. Do spirits get sick? He steps forward and opens his mouth - 
“I’m fine!” she squeaks before he can ask. “I - I’m just not used to hosting anyone here. I’m glad it’s you, it’s just… weird.”
Lance sighs, shoulders slumping. She lets him take her hand and lead her to the bed. “Well, now you’ve got a roommate for the winter,” he jokes as he encourages her to sit, which she does heavily. “Ha. Do we have to share a bed too?”
The words come out of his mouth before he can think, but with it comes the revelation that he wouldn’t mind sharing with Pidge. But he won’t. Not until she says so, and he won’t push the issue. He can’t risk never seeing her again.
Pidge covers another cough with her arm before saying, “You can have it. I don’t need sleep. Not like you do.”
Why have a bed if she doesn’t need sleep?
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks instead. “That cough sounds bad.” 
Her gaze pierces his soul as if to judge him. In the moment he understands the untold amount of power his friend truly has. 
But an instant later she slumps her shoulders and her eyes soften, looking as human as he. 
“Since you’re staying I should probably tell you everything,” she concedes. She pats the spot next to her, bidding him to sit. She rests her head on his shoulder, looking more like a tired child than a goddess. 
“I don’t just lose my powers during the winter,” she explains more to the ground than him. “I also get sick. My life is never in danger, but I get sore and drained of all my energy.” She flashes him an apologetic smile. “I won’t be very good company; you’ll have to plan most of our Monsters and Mana story.”
Sympathy washes over him. Smiling, he takes her hand in his. “It would be my honor,” he says. “I’ll keep you company and make sure you’re comfy cozy - warm soups, blankets, massages - you name it! It’ll be the best winter you’ve ever had!”
Pidge stares at him, her mouth agape, before it wobbles and her eyes well up with tears. “My own family couldn’t even see me after I died. I don’t know how or why you can, but I treasure every second you spend with me.”
Warmth surges in his chest as she jerks up and wraps her arms around his neck. He aches for his family, but they have each other and Lance has no choice. He will just have to surprise them all in the spring by being alive. Pidge needs him more right now.
“You’ve been alone too long,” he whispers in her ear. “I’ll make sure you’re never lonely again.”
“You can’t keep that promise,” she says, shivering. “You’re mortal, and I’m the only thing between your village and destruction. I need to focus. I’ve already spent too much time fantasizing about this to - “
“Fantasizing, huh?” Lance chuckles. His lips are right there, and it takes zero effort to kiss her cheeks. It’s quick and friendly, emboldened by their years of friendship and the flame of longing that still burns in his chest (though he wonders if he imagines the chill on her skin). “That’s not fair, Pidge. I can only think about you when I see you.”
Pidge breaks the hug and wipes away snot with the sleeve of the beautiful dress that Lance will never see the likes of outside books. “You barely know me,” she says sternly, punching him dispassionately in the arm. “I only see you for half a year, and you forget. That’s asking a lot of you to even be my friend.”
“You’re not asking, I’m giving,” he says immediately, hope surging that she may reconsider the nature of their relationship. “Even if I do forget, I remember everything as soon as I see you. You love the early spring snowball fights, peanut butter cookies, and games.” He laughs. “Remember when I first brought my Monsters and Mana pieces into the forest? I had so much fun, I almost didn’t make it home before dark for a few weeks.”
Her mouth twitches, fighting to hold back a smile and losing. She’s more beautiful than a summer sunset. His heart swells, wanting nothing more than to just lean in and show her… but Pidge hardly looks to be in the romantic mood. “I guess,” she responds. “It’d be even better with more than two people, though. You’re a great friend, Lance, you’re just my only friend.”
He takes her hand, pouring his sincerity into the touch. He’d go insane if only one person could see him, he can’t imagine how it is for her. “We’ll just have to make the best of it until others can see you! I like spending time with you, Pidge. We can expand our game as much as we want, and you can show me around the forest before you get too sick and tell me about your family. I want to know everything about Pidge, not just the springtime Pidge.”
“Are you sure?” she asks, locking eyes with him. “We’d never be a normal couple.”
“It’s the best feeling in the world when I remember all our times together. I don’t mind. Are… you okay with that?”
Pidge steels her gaze. “I think I’d rather spend what time I have with you to the fullest than wonder what could have been. I want…” her eyes soften, “I want to see what happens.”
“Me too.” Lance smiles, cheeks warming. He kisses her knuckles, earning a red glow from Pidge’s face. “Maybe it was the power of love that brought me here?” he teases.
Pidge considers him carefully, biting at her lower lip. “I have a different theory about why,” she says, “but I don’t have enough evidence. I think -“
She heaves forward, rolling into his side in a coughing fit. Lance puts a hand on her back and rubs, like his mother would do for him. 
He hopes he can help her, ease her pain in any way. 
“I’m fine,” she rasps once finished, rubbing her tearful eyes with the palm of her hand. “It’s like this every year.”
Lance takes her into a gentle hug, careful to give her space to cough and wipe her eyes. 
“Not this year,” he says. “This year you’ve got me.”
~~~~~
Lance kneels in the tall grass alongside the creek, drawing water with a tightly woven basket. He stands and wipes sweat from his brow. Though his home sits in the depths of winter, this world is forever entrenched in spring.
A smaller basket filled with an assortment of plants sits on the bank. He’s gathering herbs and fresh water at Pidge’s request in anticipation for the worst of her illness this winter. He left while she napped, hoping to use their time while she’s awake to its maximum potential.
“There you are!”
He's not expecting to hear her voice so suddenly as he climbs the embankment.
Lance yelps and slips backwards. The basket of water flies out of his hands and his back stings when it hits the surface of the stream.
“Lance!” Pidge yells in worry. 
Lance doesn’t panic, even when the water invades his nostrils. He’s used to the forest here and needs only to sit his bum on the sandy, weed-choked riverbed to push his upper body above water. He spits out what’s entered his mouth and slicks back his hair, wiping his face with wet hands
“Seriously, Pidge? I thought you were sleeping,” he complains. 
“I was!” she says as she slides down the bank to the edge of the stream. “Then I woke up and you were gone,” she pauses to cough, deeper and more rapidly than the day before. 
Lance winces. How much worse will she get? It’s only been a few weeks. 
“I thought you’d gotten sent back someho —“ She stares, mouth open wide. 
Lance furrows his brow and follows her gaze. It’s on him, specifically his chest, which if he looks down… is easily visible now that his thin cotton shirt is soaking wet. 
She’s… ogling him? 
Worry for Pidge’s worsening condition temporarily forgotten, Lance knows an opportunity when he sees one. A mischievous grin overtakes his face as he teases, . “Enjoying the view, my goddess?”
Her face turns bright red. “Lance!” She sputters indignantly, coughing and putting a clutching hand over her chest. “I was seriously worried about you...and I’m a spirit, not a goddess!”
She doesn’t take her eyes off of him, giving him pause; she really is giving him the lookover. His cheeks burn despite the cool water that drips off his body. He knows it’s just Pidge, but that almost makes it worse than an honest to goodness - correct term or not - goddess appreciating his sex appeal. 
He clears his throat and pulls at his shirt, attempting to make it less form-fitting. “Enough to go looking for me?” he asks instead. “I figured I could get the pain relief supplies while you slept. You need it, Pidge.”
“Sleep isn’t going to help me get better. This is a magical illness. I won’t get better until spring.” She coughs, once, and not deep. 
Lance crosses his arms, a crazy idea popping into his head. “Well, if you’re not going to sleep…” he reaches out and grabs her arm, “then you can join me for a cool bath!” And he yanks her into the stream with him. 
Pidge screams in surprise as she crashes into the water next to him, spitting it out of her mouth a moment later when she sits next to him. 
Lance is pleased with himself as she attempts to dry, until his eyes fall a bit too far. The water drenching her makes her loose dress heavy, the neckline low enough to reveal more cleavage than he’s prepared to see. Fresh from the revelation of Pidge’s thoughts, it feels as if the water boils around him as he looks for literally anything else to observe. 
Her hair slicks back even better than his and he’s shocked to discover her glasses are only frames as she takes them off to wipe her face. He’s never seen her without them. It softens her features, and Lance falls in love all over again. 
“You don’t need glasses?” he asks. “Why do you wear them if you don’t need them?”
Pidge is somber as she puts them back on. “They belonged to my brother. I had been...teasing him before I died, and was wearing them. Somehow, out of everything I was wearing, they passed over.”
“Oh,” Lance says lamely. He focuses on a school of minnows that nibble his toes. “I’m sorry, Pidge.”
“At least I have something to remember my family by,” she sighs. “It’s weird. I have all these powers and all these books I saved, but,” she smiles and looks to the sky, “thinking of my family and seeing what they and their descendants accomplished are what really keeps me sane.”
Lance perks up. “That’s right. You said your family founded the village.” He laughs and pokes her arm. “Who are you related to?”
Pidge rolls her eyes but doesn’t stop smiling. “Chip Gunderson is the closest living relative I have. There hasn’t been a Holt in a long time.”
Now that she tells him, Lance can easily see the same goofy grin and round race, that same thirst for knowledge and knack for machinery.
His thoughts wander and he frowns. “You said you died young. Did you...were you ever...married?” Lance doesn’t know many courting details from before the Disasters, but there were so many more people in the world. Pidge is so smart and beautiful and funny; surely she had plenty of suitors. 
Pidge stares at him for a few long moments, and he does not expect her to burst into laughter. 
“What? What’s so funny?” he asks, as confused as when he first arrived in this place. 
She hugs her sides, calming. “Things were a little different before the Disasters,” she explains. “No, I wasn’t dating anyone and I was never married.”
Lance finds relief in her admission. Even if she loved before, it wouldn’t change how he feels for her. All the same, it’s liberating, despite having never thought on it before now.
“Hey,” she bumps his arm with hers. “Romance was the last thing on my mind when I was alive, but…” Her cheeks turn a rosey pink. “I’m glad it's happening now, with you.”
All sheepishness from earlier fades with her admission, and his heart melts. He leans comfortably against her as she does on him. It doesn’t matter that they’re half submerged in a stream. Lance decides that anywhere with Pidge is the perfect place to be. 
“I’d marry you,” he blurts, “in a heartbeat if it meant we could be like this forever.”
Pidge looks up, staring into his soul with the eyes of the guardian spirit she was. “I can’t stop you from forgetting me and falling in love with someone else.”
Her statement cuts Lance deep. It’s true. He won’t remember her in between their meetings. The guilt would cut away at him forever. “I won’t,” he promises. “I’m going to wait for you. You’re my soulmate, Pidge. You’re smart, you’re funny, you’re...beautiful…” Her face drifts closer “I - I know it’s a weird situation and - “ I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
She gives him a sad smile, cutting him off by placing a finger to his lips. “I want you to be happy, Lance. That starts with being with your family. Trust me on this one. Let’s make sure we can get you home first.”
He’s tried to push back his homesickness after the first week and succeeded too well. He misses his mom, dad, siblings, and friends. Lance sighs, but smiles sadly as he rests his forehead on hers. This is why he is hers; their love of family is strong. “Thank you, Pidge. I like it when you’re right.”
Pidge pecks his forehead. “Of course I’m right. I also like to keep score.”
Keep score? What kind of phrase was that?
Before Lance can ask, Pidge has already gathered up water in the cup of her hand. Her arm speeds across the water and splashes it in his face.
“Serves you right for dragging me into the water,” Pidge snarks. “I may have power over plants, but I’m not one of them.”
“Oh,” Lance says ominously once he shakes his head dry. Delighted by the spontaneous game, he stands and cups both hands in the water. “I see how it is.”
Pidge stands and leans forward, ready to pounce. “You’re not winning this one.”
Lance is drawn to her upper chest, cowl of her dress still sagging. He can’t help but wonder, as they’re about to get into a water fight, that perhaps they’re both winners so long as they each get good and wet. 
“We’ll see about that!” He strikes first, throwing as much water as he’s able in Pidge’s direction. She laughs in delight, sending a half-hearted splash his way in retaliation before turning her face away from his attack. 
It’s as if a wave washed over Pidge rather than the small splash he expected...
He dismisses it as Pidge launches her counterattack, wearing a cocky grin. This is a weird magical realm where anything can happen. 
He twists to keep the barrage away from his face, heart racing with the thrill of the game. He turns to launch his next attack and stops in his tracks. Pidge has fallen to her knees, leaning over in a coughing fit.
“Pidge!” he cries, heart thumping with renewed panic. He splashes over to her as fast as he can against the resistance of the water.
She falls into his arms as he reaches her. She shivers as the coughing abates. “I’m s-sorry,” she says weakly. “I’m so tired all of a sud--”
“Don’t talk,” he says gently as he cradles her in the water. It seems their idyllic free time is at an end, and he mourns the loss of it. “Just rest. I’ve got you, I promise. Leave everything to me.”
This is one promise he can keep.
~~~~~
Lance sets his offering down and kneels before her, the same as he does every day. “I got the usual. Ready?” 
“Please,” Pidge gasps. She lies on the bed, all blankets banished to the floor, her breathing labored. She’s barely better off than the day before, but now she has enough energy to speak. Surely she’s seen the worst of the illness and spring will soon arrive outside this realm. 
He tears some leaves and drops them into a basket of water. “I think tomorrow I’m going to go for a swim. I think I saw some Silvertails at the bottom of the lake yesterday.” He picks up a cluster of flowers and uses them to stir the mixture, squeezing them to filter out excess water. 
“They aren’t medicinal,” Pidge says. “Don’t bother.” 
With care, he pushes her bangs out of the way and lets the damp flowers rest on her forehead. “I thought you said they were pretty,” he teases. “I was going to make you a bouquet. A gift would perk you up.”
Pidge relaxes, all the tension melting away, leaving a goofy smile. “You don’t have to get me anything. I feel better already.”
“Good. It’s working faster every day.” He waggles a wet leaf above her head. The plant reacts to an overabundance of water - Pidge explained when she first instructed him - and it eases the pain in her throat. 
She opens her mouth, and he drops the leaf on her tongue. She rolls over, back to him, groaning in misery. 
Lance makes himself comfortable on the nest of discarded blankets, using the bed as a backrest. He grabs a half-finished basket from the floor next to him and begins to weave, one of many hobbies he’s picked up in his time in this realm. 
(He’s going to try underwater basket weaving one of these days, just to see an expression other than agony or relief on Pidge’s face.)
“What do you want to do next?” he airs. “Up for Monsters and Mana? Checkers?”
“You know,” she rasps. 
Lance rolls his eyes and sets the project in his lap. “Pidge, I don’t even know what half of it is saying. You’re a forest spirit; why do you have technical manuals?”
Pidge coughs, her throat too sore to say more.
He already knows: because they’re interesting (for her). Lance reaches for the pile of books at the end of the bed, grabbing the first his fingers touch. 
“SONAR: A Study of Sound,” he reads aloud. His nose wrinkles, and he sets it aside, twisting around to browse the other titles. “‘Study of Color: Extreme Quilting’? No. ‘The Cry of the Tapeworm’? What?.” He stacks them on the floor as he rules them out.  “Ah! Here we go! ‘The Colony’ - looks pretty interesting.” The cover features a flying ship. Hopeful it contains a story about space or a fantasy world in the sky, he opens it to the table of contents.
His jaw drops. “It’s an instruction manual to build a colony on Mars?” He groans and plants his face on the bed in frustration. “Pidge, do you have any actual stories?”
Pidge rolls over to face him, clutching at her pillow and smiling weakly. “Your Monsters and Mana adventures are better than any story I could read in a book.”
Lance twists to face her, heart pumping in excitement - and warmth in his cheeks from the compliment. “Your voice isn’t scratchy anymore! Feeling better?”
“I’ve been worse.” She flops an arm on his shoulder. “Help me up. I need to check outside.”
He does, allowing her to hang on his shoulder as they walk the few steps to the orb. If Pidge feels better, then his time with her is coming to an end. It’s a fact he both loves and hates.
Winter was long. He failed to take in how bored he’d be with Pidge bedridden - he didn’t know she’d get that sick. Lance misses his family too, the prospect of seeing their tearful, happy faces come spring keeping his spirits high. 
Sympathy for Pidge makes him smile. She’s been here a long time, suffering alone every winter, companionless besides him each spring. He doesn’t want that for her. It isn’t fair. 
Pidge lazily moves her hand over the orb. It changes colors, dark greens shifting to a scene of the village standing strong like every year. An orange glow at the bottom shows a raging fire burning well below the treehouses. 
“So far so good,” Lance offers. He frowns as he notices the common house as the only area with lighting inside. “Everyone’s together. I wonder what’s going on.”
Pidge clears her throat but doesn’t respond. She thrusts her fingers onto the orb and the scene changes until they look in as if through a window. 
Lance sees everyone: his parents, siblings, niece, nephew, his neighbors, Hunk and his family, and Keith… sobbing uncontrollably. Everyone has an aggrieved demeanor. 
“Shiro,” he gasps. “Pidge, can you get us closer? Can we hear what they’re saying?”
He isn’t going to get to say goodbye. 
The thought is almost too distressing, to not say a final goodbye in a village where even the elders tease him for kissing a mouse instead of Jenny, where he attends every wedding - even for the schoolmates whose cups he and Hunk slipped tadpoles into for picking on Ina - where he knows everyone’s name. The loss of anyone hurts them all, and to lose a young man… Lance swallows. Shiro isn’t that much older than he is. 
And he’s a good friend. His declining health hit them all hard, especially Keith, hopeful - or stubborn - enough to hope for a solution. 
Which put Lance in the forest at the end of fall in the first place. 
Pidge applies more pressure to the orb. The scene jumps to Shiro, his face pale as he struggles to breathe. Dr. Iverson and his family surround him. No one does much but hold his hand, lips moving in presumed words of comfort while tears stain their eyes red. 
Salt touches the edge of his mouth, but he can’t find the energy to wipe his tears. Is this how his family grieved for him?
“I’m sorry,” Pidge mutters, leaning her head into his chest. “I wish I could have helped.”
“It’s not your fault,” he assures her swiftly.
Shiro takes no last gasp of air; he simply stops breathing. The doctor covers his face with a thin blanket.
Lance bows his head to pay his respects. His heart thumps, heavy with sadness. 
A burst of violet light disrupts the somber moment. Pidge gasps and Lance squints against the piercing light. 
The purple column shines bright, pulsing. Brightest of all is a symbol varying slightly from the one on the green column but clearly of similar origin.
Lance’s mouth, agape in wonder, snaps shut. “Do-does this mean there’s a new Guardian?”
“I… guess so,” Pidge responds, voice full of longing. “I can’t believe it’s actually happening.”
Lance squeezes her shoulder. “What do you want to do?”
Pidge straightens,  standing with her own strength for the first time in months. 
She takes a deep breath. “I need to say hello and help him understand what’s going on.”
“How do you know it’s a…” But it all lines up:  how she told him how scared and confused she was to wake up after death, learning her role by accident and necessity to save her family. 
Lance knows who they’ll be seeing.
He holds her hand as she reaches out to the column and presses her palm against the pulsing emblem. 
The spring world shatters like glass. An invisible barrier separates Lance from Pidge despite holding her hand moments before. Back in the void, he sees her clearly this time, standing across from him with a solid green circle beneath her feet. It’s the same as when he first touched the orb, only now purple tinges the darkness and red and blue stars dot the sky. 
Lance braces himself as an unseen force pushes him backwards, struggling to hold his ground against the waves. 
Shiro stands within a purple circle, breathing and clothed in silky robes of pitch black speckled with the stars themselves. A barely visible vortex swirls where his diseased right arm once was. 
“What - what’s going on?” Shiro asks frantically. He beholds his new arm as his other shakes, eyes wide and body rigid. “Where am I? Who are - Lance? Is this the afterlife?”
“Kind of,” Pidge admits. “I’m Pidge, and Lance is still technically alive. You - “
The force of the invisible wave wins over his will and Lance falls backward. He winces, anticipating solid ground.
His back meets soft cushions instead, his ears filled with the familiar birdsong of spring. He opens his eyes to Pidge’s realm.
Hours pass without Pidge. Never has he felt such restlessness. He knows Shiro needs her guidance, but the sounds of animals do little to alleviate the wrongness of not having Pidge there, accentuating the otherworldliness of the realm. 
He paces the temple area, pausing to examine the columns. The purple column now glows steadily. He wonders if it will take a long time for the other three to arrive. The thought makes him queasy, realizing that the right person has to die to protect humanity. What would he do with such a burden? 
He plops down by the bed. 
He fiddles with strings of bark left from his basket weaving, twisting it absentmindedly around his ring finger. Red overlaps the brown in a crude outline of a leaf. He ties it into a ring. Despite his earlier offer to bring her flowers, he wonders if Pidge would appreciate such a rustic gift when she adorns herself with gold jewelry. She hardly needs anything to remember him, but he’s a romantic, and a warm fuzzy feeling fills his chest at the thought of adhering to pre-Disaster ways of courtship. 
He falls back onto the grass with a silly grin. His thoughts circle to bending a knee to Pidge and offering up his latest craft, reciting flowery words from a book or daring to concoct his own. 
He doesn’t know how long he daydreams, but he doesn’t mind. He can do so all day. 
He misses her so powerfully his chest aches. A wave of understanding hits him; he won’t be able to stand being apart from her in the winter, not after all the fun times they had, nor does he want her to suffer alone in sickness. He doesn’t want to forget - but if he can’t be here, it’s a blessing in disguise to not know what he’s missing. 
A violet glow pulses once. Lance scrambles to stand, but it’s Pidge who runs towards him. 
She plants her face in his chest. “I was scared you might have been sent back to the forest.”
He holds her like a lifeline. “I ended up right back here. Is Shiro okay?”
Pidge inhales deeply as she backs away. “As well as he can be. Once he understood what he can do, he set to work pushing back the storms.” She smirks. “The forest will be a lot less windy from now on.” She takes his hand in hers. “Are you okay?” 
“It’s… a lot to take in,” he says truthfully. “This is what happened to you, isn’t it? And it’ll happen to the other three too, right?” The void flashes in his memory, of the blue spot that seems to be reserved just for him. “It’s terrifying actually, to think that one day that’ll be - “ He can’t say it aloud. Maybe he’s wrong.
Does he want to be right?
Pidge squeezes his hand. “I’m so sorry, Lance. I figured it out a while ago. I wanted you to live without the burden.”
His hand shakes, but he smirks to hide the burgeoning fear. Pidge has been through much, and the knowledge her fate will be his threatens to tear his mind apart. So he chooses to shrug it off. “What is there to it? I’ve always wanted to be a hero.” He laughs. “Just didn’t expect to die first.”
Pidge inhales sharply. “Yeah. You will.”
His face falls. That wasn’t the reaction he’d hoped for. “Pidge - “
“I can send you home now,” she blurts, averting her eyes. “Thanks to Shiro, I’m strong enough to bolster the forest earlier this year.”
The words chill his bones despite the perpetual warmth of this realm’s sun. Pidge was so sick not that long ago, but now she’s the picture of health, no longer sweaty and gasping for breath. She stands tall, robes clean, and breathes effortlessly. Her hair is longer, draping loosely over her shoulders.
She looks strong - and just like spring. 
He wasn’t expecting to leave her so suddenly. Although he’s scared, he says, “I don’t want to forget this.”
“The only way you can remember is to see me or stay here, neither of which you should do. It’d be better,” she says hesitantly, “if you don’t see me again until you die.”
Die. Her last word grips his throat. 
“No, oh no no no. I don’t want to play that game.” A new fear beats back the one for his fate. “Pidge, I’ll know I’m missing something if I never see you again. Please.”
Pidge narrows her eyes. “You can’t stay here, Lance.”
Dread weighs down his heart, and he swallows hard. “Not in the spring, but I can return every winter,” he pleads. “You just say the word and I’ll be there.”
“No!” Pidge says. “I - I mean, spend the time with your family. You’ll miss them when you arrive here for good.”
He does miss them already, very much. But he’s just seen Pidge at her worst, and he doesn’t want to leave her alone to suffer again. How can he? His mother raised him better than that. 
“I’m not alone anymore, Lance. There’s another Guardian now. Shiro’s a good person. I’m sure he’ll help me.”
But it won’t be me, Lance thinks. It’s the only rebuttal he has because Pidge is right. Shiro will look after her and Lance wants to be with his family while he can. 
A sob worms its way up his throat. He forces it back with a deep breath. 
“I promise I won’t forget you this time,” he says as tears cloud his vision. “I looked at your face as much as I could this winter. I’ll remember.” 
Her face is hard, but her eyes betray that she’s hurting with this farewell as much as he is. “You don’t have a choice, Lance. I don’t expect you to remember.”
“Then find me every spring.” He grabs her arms. “Please. You promised. Remember what you said when we agreed to try this?”
She hesitates before taking hold of his shirt, mouthing the words before saying them aloud. “To use this time we have to the fullest and see what happens.” She leans in closer, her eyes searching for an answer. “What do we have?”
Pidge draws Lance in like a moth to flame. He cups the side of her face and kisses her, to answer the question, to convey how much he wants to remember her. 
She presses into his abdomen, pushing him backward, and leans in, responding in kind. 
His hot face, her soft lips, their breath mingling as they part only for an instant...it’s all worth the hardships that await them.
Her lips find his again as his back hits the bed, his legs dangling off the side. Pidge straddles him with a fistful of his shirt. 
He breaks away to breathe, heart pounding in anticipation. “Don’t I need to like, cleanse myself in a sacred spring or something?” He kisses her neck. “Before we do this?” 
“I love you, Lance.” Her fingers run through his hair, nails scraping his scalp and lips pressing onto his forehead. “I want you exactly as you are.”
His ears - and other body parts - burn. “You really should meet my mother first.” But Lance fingers her hair rather than making a move to get up. “I love you, Pidge,” he says, basking in her warm hazel eyes and playful smile. “Don’t wait until I’m dead to see me again.”
A kiss that tastes of fresh strawberries lingers at the corner of his mouth. “I’m not sure I can stay away from you if I wanted.” Her weight rests on him, her head in the crook of his neck. “Thank you, for not wanting to forget.”
Her body is warm, and though he wants to be sated, he’s content to just hold her. He plants a kiss on her collarbone and quips, “Is this the part where we have a half-mortal kid who grows up to beat the bad guys?” 
She laughs, but it’s less mirthful than usual. “If so, there’s no one I’d rather be the father.” 
He drinks in her next kiss, and his lips struggle to hang on as she rises. He sits up, brow furrowed while she backs away from the bed. 
Why is she crying? 
Vines wrap around her arm, a soft green glow around her body. 
“Pidge, no, please,” he begs. “Promise me I’ll see you soon.”
She raises a hand and a green orb or energy forms on her palm. “Live a good long life for me, Lance.”
The green light overwhelms his senses and he futilely raises an arm to shield his gaze.
The light dims a beat later and Lance opens his eyes. 
Snow melts and vibrant flowers bloom before his eyes. He sits among a cluster of Forget-Me-Nots, a grove of trees in the near distance sprouting leaves, hiding its interior from view... 
How did he get so deep into the forest so soon after the beginning of spring?
He can’t even remember if Hunk and Keith are okay. Had he gone looking for their remains? A pit opens in his stomach. To lose his friends would be too much. 
Lance supposes he’d better go home and find out. He’ll worry about the mysterious wooden scrap that fits snugly on his ring finger later.
~~~~~
It’s hard to breathe these days. 
It only grows worse with each friend or family member who goes before him, his parents, siblings, Hunk, even Keith. 
His great nieces and nephews sit by his bedside, their mouths moving, but Lance hears no words. He hasn’t for a while. He recognizes a few by reading their lips: love you, get better, forest spirit - (their favorite story). 
That falls on Nadia now, to pass on to her children and grandchildren. 
The forest spirit kept them safe through the Disasters as they whittled away. The storms stopped and eventually so did the earthquakes and fires. Only the floods still come. 
Lance always wanted to see the world beyond the Great Forest, but he’s tired now. Perhaps the young ones will outlive the floods. He’s satisfied to leave that dream to them.
With no children of his own, his niece holds his hand, tears in her eyes. Lance is grateful because he hasn’t the strength to grip hers. 
He smiles, chest filled with warmth at the sight of his family just as big as when it was him and his siblings. The baby growing in Sylvio’s daughter will replace him in number. 
He wishes he'd be able to meet the kid. He loves kids. 
Instead, his vision blurs, and he whispers, “- love y - “
Lance gasps, not remembering the last time he inhaled this much air. Shouldn’t dying have the opposite effect?
“It’s about time, Lance! We’ve been waiting for you!”
Lance faces the voice and opens his eyes. “Hunk?” he exclaims, his breath hitching at seeing his oldest and best friend standing in a pool of golden yellow among a dark void. He looked forward to seeing him again. “You look like you just finished school!” he laughs.
Hunk grins. “I missed you, man.” Young again he may be, but he’s overdressed for a graduation ceremony. Robes of pure gold drape Hunk’s body, his muscular arms exposed and crossed - imposing to strangers, welcoming and huggable to friends. “Same to you.”
Lance yelps when he realizes he’s standing too. Gone are his sweat-drenched cotton pajamas; a silky robe dyed a blue deeper than the sky in summer adorns him as if he���s a king of old. He nearly stumbles over the hem in surprise, but an ethereal blue current from a pool of the same color caresses and holds him upright. It flows up his arms and through his fingertips. It's strange but comforting; the not-exactly-water overwhelms him but it’s not like the raging floods he’s used to.
Lance examines his hands, twisting them in front of his face. They’re smooth, wrinkle-free as if he’s twenty again.
“Welcome, Lance. Or should I say, welcome back?”
Shiro smiles at him from across the way. 
Lance is floored; he never got a chance to say goodbye all those years ago. “Shiro, I’m so sorry I wasn't there. I can’t remember what happened to me that winter.”
Shiro isn’t upset, but his grin turns mischievous. “You were right where you needed to be, Lance.”
“Hopefully now you’ll finally stop picking on me for getting you lost in the forest.” Keith wears robes of bright red that flicker like flame. Rather than an awkward kid, he’s the same physical age as him and standing in a pool of red, radiating confidence and smirking - as if he knows something Lance doesn’t.
“Is this it?” Somehow Lance expected… not this. Not the swirling black, blue, and white void. Not this group of friends. “Shouldn’t there be...more people in the afterlife?” Where are his parents, his siblings?
“Seriously, that’s the first question you all ask?” 
The very familiar voice comes from the fifth and final green circle. “Come on, Lance. You’ve been prepping for this.”
Before he can see her face, the world dissolves. 
He stands on a cliff overlooking the sea, a sunset reflecting off the water against the darkening blue - and clear - skies. It’s awe-inspiring to see such a vast amount of water not raging to kill him. He’s never seen so few trees before! With him on the cliff are five columns with laid stone between them, glowing in the colors of the circles from the other world. A bed with purple linens sits at the tip of the cliff, and at the center between the columns stands a pedestal with a glass orb that glows in blue hues. 
It all tickles with familiarity, but Lance can’t place it. 
“Maybe this will jog your memory?”
He turns towards the speaker, the girl wearing green robes and golden jewelry. A heartfelt and soft smile graces her face, tears behind the frames on her eyes. 
Pidge. 
It all comes back, from the first time she rescued him to his final and eightieth spring that she stayed by his side in the gardens making him flower crowns while he rested his aging body. 
To that winter that changed it all, the reason they waited for each other. 
He runs to her, legs as spry as when he was a teenager. 
“We made it!” he says as he hugs her as tight as he can. “Thank you for giving me time.”
Her embrace anchors him, and her curled lips warm his chest. “I would never take time from your family, Lance. I know what it means.”
“I’m all yours now,” he says, relief pouring from his soul. His fingers graze over a familiar object, the ring that he made for her so long ago. His chest is heavy and he wants to cry of happiness. He takes off the ring and kneels before her. 
Pidge gapes, but she’s soon as teary eyed as he. “My brother proposed to his fiancée like this. I thought the tradition was forgotten.” 
“I wanted to do this the way you remember. It’s the least I can do after what you’ve given up. Let me do this for you,”  he says. “I’ll be at your temple every winter and whenever else you want. Through sickness and in health, right?” 
Pidge gently places a hand behind his head and pulls him up, locking their lips together. The kiss thrills him, just the same as their first every spring. “I do,” she sobs as they part, “and you can finally keep your promise.”
Lance smiles so wide it ought to hurt and swears for the last time, “I’ll never forget you again.”
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