#like i cant do all at once so it rotates
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mangoes-and-mothman · 1 year ago
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every time my interests shift i feel like im abandoning my child on the side of the road
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best-fnaf-song-competition · 11 months ago
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Oh you KNOW this playlist is full of bangers when I've got 4-5 of them stuck in my head at once
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ladysqueakinpip · 9 months ago
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not me lying wide awake at 5:30am on a sunday on my day off bc after almost a full year I finally FINALLY realized the implication of the end of remember them from the cyclops saga
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#that song has one of the most powerful ending crescendo sequences ive heard in maybe all of musical theater#so it. always felt incomplete after ALL that buildup during the I AM THE INFAMOOOUS#only to just drop to SILENCE. no music. no fanfare. just ODYSSEUS!#he doesnt even really sing it he just sort of... shouts it#and then its followed by the faintest sound of ocean waves#its poseidon. listening. THATS why athena said DONT#poseidon heard that declaration and came back to get him later#😬#i just looked up the lyrics for ruthlessness too and poseidon basically spells it out 😂#ive only listened to that song once or twice tho and i guess i wasnt too focused on the words#anyway i relistened to the songs on friday and theyve been rotating in my mind like a 7/11 hotdog#the whole cyclops saga especially is just.... so so good#they truly dont make music about bashing peoples heads in like they used to#the first 3 songs of the saga especially... oof#how they blend one into the other back to back and end up making like a 10 minute narration of events#the whole thing is so bone chilling#it gets my heartrate up lol#PLUS the theme of pain and vengeance bring more pain#EVERY time polyphemus says 'what gives you a right to deal a pain so deep'#and when odysseus says 'what good would killing do when mercy is a skill more of the world could learn to use'#rocking back and forth sobbing crying#remember them the next time that you DARE choose not to spare! remember them... remember us... remember me!#cant wait for everyone to turn their back on this musical in 5 yrs#like they did with hamilto.n#hamilto.n never stopped being good actually#yall are just embarrassed about being weird fanatics over people who rly existed
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nexus-nebulae · 11 months ago
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odd thing we've noticed. the less okay we are the smaller our active system gets
#like logically you'd think we'd get more members while stressed but we don't usually#we actually split way more often when we're feeling okay and alive#i think it has something to do with mental bandwidth#like when mental health bad we don't have enough mental energy to put towards the system#so we just. reduce a lot in size. to make the workload easier#like a few months ago we had about 100+ people active at once all rotating out frequently and cofronting a TON#and now we're down to like. three or four active the rest really only able to be active for a few minutes at a time#we're just too exhausted to deal with the chaos of so many people so it kinda. slows down a ton#it's hard to get used to when everything was So Loud before. its kinda scary sometimes#like damn. i cant just call Incredibly Specific Task Guy to deal with this task i really cannot do right now. that kinda sucks#but knowing that this is like. more bc of the fact that we Can't Deal With Much More Than This makes it a little easier#we're a bit like my current computer. shit ass RAM bc its got like 50 malware (illnesses) on it#and once i get a new computer (get a little better and more functional) i can get back to multitasking#side note my god my RAM on this computer is shit running tumblr and minecraft at the same time totally breaks it#like it makes the Entire Computer run at 10 fps it's Great#i'm getting a new one at the end of this month hopefully#and hopefully Actually Nice Thing Accomplished will also help brain a lot#also not having to stress about how annoying to use our computer is should help lmao
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thingswhatareawesome · 11 months ago
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just could not get that 12th star in pure fiction. have retried so many times, ended up playing until way fucking longer than i should have. and yet i see people clearing the whole thing with fucking 70s. partly this is what i get for not having prioritized traces on my buffing characters. also this i guess is what i get for not pulling every single uber ranked 5 star even though part of it is getting fucked over by rng (I SEE YOU STANDARD WARP AND GEPARD AND FX). but also i guess this is what i get for rng fucking me over on so many halfassed to lousy relics? i think that's what gets me--is that it's just never enough. never enough 5* never enough pulling the RIGHT ones, never enough traces done never enough truly good relics bc the game won't GIVE me them
and it's not that i'm ftp anymore, i'm doing that little monthly jades subscription and the occasional bp here and there. but it's just never ENOUGH.
#seriously i've got 80s with 80 lcs and i am pushing so many of my dps traces to completion#stats and main traces (and secondary ones on many)#but i was prioritizing dps so much that my buffers aren't the best#and ofc the chars that are perfect for this i haven't put as much work into bc they're not great otherwise???#ie himeko and well idc if herta's great for this i don't like her or her animations/vocalizations/girl design#but like it's not enough to have argenti and jingliu and jing yuan and dhil and now blade#i guess i'll look at more guides on teams tomorrow but it always comes down to buffers#and every guide wanting tingyun and pela on every damned team well they cant' be on two at once come ON#it's like i'm being punished for daring to not like herta or topaz or rm as well as for my rng fail luck#please ignore my sr bs#no matter what i do or how many hours every day or all the info i look up and read i just am never good enough#and for everyone else it's ez even at much lower levels and i just#frustration frustration frustration everywhere i turn in this game no matter how hard i work at it#sometimes i get so fucking tired of how much HOMEWORK i'm expected to do for xiv and star rail#like you can't just have fun or play to relax everything has to be researched and minmaxed and improved to the nth degree#and you have to memorize fucking encylopedias of theory and meta and rotations and i am TIRED#can't i play to have fun without this expectation that means i get left out of everything and can't participate bc you're only allowed in#if you spend every waking gaming moment perfecting EVERY tiny miniscule tidbit about every character ever skill ever gear piece#i wish these games had a fucking middle ground and not constant casual/fun/get left out of all content vs HARDCOOOORRRRREEEE#like why are there only two extremes
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orangechickenpillow · 1 year ago
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I need more content of the bg3 companions cuddling, okay here's my pitch:
Everyone piling on top of Karlach and falling asleep (a classic)
a group hug with Wyll smushed in the center
Gale hooking his arms Shadowheart and Lae'zel's shoulders because he lacks a healthy fear of death and/or bodily harm
Karlach holding Astarion like a teddy bear while Shadowheart is asleep in her lap like a cat
Gale, once again with no regard for his own personal safety, somehow ending up with Astarion sitting in front of him like they're sledding so he can lecture him show him the best parts of his book
Wyll gets curious about what they're reading and joins in, then Karlach notices, then suddenly the whole camp including Withers is piled around them for Bedtime Stories With Gale
Karlach seeing if she can pick up and carry everyone all at once, which requires all of them to hang onto someone and help each other out (which they do once they've determined they're actually going to attempt this, no bullshit)
This ends in lots of yelling and, shockingly, no one losing an eye. Lae'zel threatens to murder Gale for picking her up, Astarion claims he wouldn't touch her with a six-foot pole while hanging off of Karlach's bicep, his legs wrapped around Shadowheart, who is holding onto Karlach like a baby koala. Meanwhile Wyll is trying to climb past Gale without getting in the Lae'zel Line of Fire or snapping Karlach's neck, who is unbothered and yelling for Withers to come join them or it won't count (he Does Not)
Shadowheart, Lae'zel, and Astarion huddling in their Gossip Corner to talk shit. Shadowheart ends up draped over Astarion's lap while he re-braids her hair and Lae'zel is sitting behind them on a log or something with her elbow propped on Astarion's shoulder, making occasional comments about how poor of a job he's doing
Wyll and Karlach using each other as weighted blankets. Gale wants in the moment he finds out about it. Then Astarion discovers what they've been up to. Then Shadowheart. Are you seeing the trend. They literally cant function as individuals anymore. They have to rotate around like gas station hot dogs
Speaking of dogs, Scratch joins the Karlach Cuddle Pile some nights to keep warm. And the owlbear, who always singles a certain vampire out. Astarion likes it complains very loudly about it
Scratch is Karlach’s bestie and usually ends up sleeping directly on her face. They're all sure they're going to find her dead like that one morning
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n3ptoonz · 5 months ago
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can you write hdcs on sfw/NSFW for Smoke? Please 🥺
Y'ALL CANT GET ENOUGH OF THESE HUH 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️
smoke hcs
nsfw under the cut; not explicit, includes reader, i went to yappersville and they knew me
SFW
he's well aware he looks significantly less intimidating without his mask so he wears it like everywhere. he rotates them too since he got a collection of unique ones that look intimidating (NERD)
growing up in the lin kuei i know for a fact kuai and bi han always pointed out that he's white LMFAOOOOO and cause he gets visibly red easily they never let him live it down
since we're on the topic, kuai was often joking but bi han would always use it in arguments. i can literally see him losing an argument to tomas and being like "shut up you're white" 😭😭 bet he said it in mandarin too
tomas is almost fluent in mandarin, i make the rules. he learned most from overhearing conversations but also madam bo too
the funniest of the three. before his family um...yeah- he loved making his siblings laugh and wore a badge of honor once he got kuai to laugh at a stupid joke he made in passing when they were teens
has a platonic crush on johnny. i will not explain further. (he would love to be in a movie)
in my head he's had long hair on multiple occasions but cuts it on random occasions cause he couldn't make up his mind, but around the time of preparing the fight in madam bo's restaurant he kept it short
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NSFW
captain switch. i've seen so many different hcs and fics and have come to conclusion that he has the capability of being dominant because he has to be in order to survive you feel me, BUT!! wouldn't hesitate to give up control if asked
lowkey masochist. i say lowkey bc you notice how he reacts if you do something that would inflict pain. be it a louder moan or him asking you to do it again without stuttering this time
don't call me crazy but i genuinely think he'd be hung LOLLLL sweet boys always got it going on what can i say?! tomas serving mad girth and tonage today 🙂‍↕️👌🏾
when it comes to you he kinda...he can't help but have such perverted thoughts sometimes. now i don't think he's a baby who can't speak for himself but damn does he get reduced to one red faced brain cell if you catch him staring at your ass. he's thinking of all the ways he could discreetly have you bent over the counter you're standing in front of. esp if you two just sparred
tomas vrbada is an ass man i DIE ON THIS HILL. back shots, cowgirl, PRONE, you facing the wall, you name it. he loves the feeling of your ass in his hands it's like the mf has never seen cheeks a day in his life
when he's dominant it fluctuates between soft dom and feral beast. it mostly depends on what his day was like + how good you look that night. especially if you teased him all day. my goodness, it's twinkie central in this bitch
when he's submissive he completely trusts you and listens to everything you say. is down for a lot of things peg him and generally you ain't gotta do too much to convince him to do things you wanna. he's all ears and puppy eyes
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year2000electronics · 2 months ago
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Ford is such a fascinately flawed character, If he not keep in check he unintentionally brings ruin to everyone around him.
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this is literally how i feel talking about ford. ^
because dont get me wrong at many times i am a ford defender when people slander him for the wrong reasons, but also a lot of the time i will be like "YOUR HONOUR HE DID THAT SHIT AND I THINK HE WAS HOT WHEN HE DID IT" and then at other times i will be like "YOUR HONOUR HE DID THAT SHIT AND ISNT IT AMAZING THAT SUCH A COMPLEX AND FLAWED CHARACTER IS NOT DEMONIZED AND VILLAINIZED BY THE NARRATIVE BUT INSTEAD GIVEN A CHANCE TO GROW". so a lot of the time i just end up walking in circles rotating him a lot because i end up wanting to play devils advocate from like literally every angle of "so how much harm did ford do Really"
but i think when you look at ford in the show, hes a very interesting character, specifically because he's this very "loadbearing" character. he's the author, so he has to be the driving force behind the mystery, but he also has to have met and have ended things badly with mcgucket, so we have their falling-out as a tease to the mystery. we need him to cause conflict in the show thanks to his arrival, so he'll do some unlikable things like punch stan and demand his house back and offer dipper the apprenticeship. but he cant be TOO unlikeable because this is a member of the family stan has fought for 30 years to get back, and he also needs to be integrated as Officially A Pines in the VERY limited time we have with him on screen. not only that, but you have to explain his entire backstory in one episode where he harms and is mean to a character who has had two seasons' worth of love behind him SEVERAL TIMES. but you also need to make us feel for him, and you have to make stan's part of the conflict sting too. and THEN! ON TOP! OF ALL! THAT! YOU ALSO NEED TO PAY-OFF THE SETUP YOU HAD OF BILL CIPHER AND THE AUTHOR'S MYSTERIOUS RELATIONSHIP!
and so a lot of the time what i end up thinking is yes, ford is flawed. yes, he can be really callous and unfeeling at times. but i think because he's constantly needing to carry like 10 different plot elements on his back at once, constantly needing to drive conflict along, he ends up being really divisive to people- especially since he has no time to just goof off like everyone else!
so i circle back to this idea of ford as the "ruin-bringer". i think about that wording most meticulously. because that walks this VERY delicate line between saying something about fords character, his flaws, his backstory, and dipping right into "omg lets blame ford for EVERYTHINGGG!" but you think a lot about ford and his self-isolation and his EGO and the way he lifts himself above others both out of pride and out of shame.
ford is almost doing that to himself, really. making himself this common denominator black hole that people keep getting sucked into. because he is of the opinion that there are Special People who need to rise above, he ends up either isolating himself or isolating others to Join Him on the Path. and obviously that in and of itself is a gesture of companionship, of reaching out, because he says "i see the same greatness in you that i do myself"! but of course there IS no secret hidden greatness! so its all inherently flawed! you cant be rising above simply because youre "special" and you "deserve it"! but "special" is the only thing ford knows how to be!
ford is deeply hurting i guess. he seems deeply hurt the way that stan does to me, where everything he does just BLEEDS his trauma. you can see it staining everything. stan's need for companionship and ford's self-isolation. ford's hurting and he needs a healthy outlet but he has a path of destruction in his wake. and that just makes it so much crazier
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sneezeshame · 1 year ago
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// mess
someone whos spent days battling a horrible head cold, the wettest and heaviest they've had in years, but no matter what they do they just can't sneeze. they huff and snort and sniffle and blow their nose in loud burbles and start to hitch, and hitch, but it just never comes. they feel so full and uncomfortable no matter what they do, and when they come home from work that day they realize they're sick-sick with this thing, and all night its incessant. they keep trying to sneeze, their body is trying so hard to get all the gunk and virus out of their swollen passages, but they just cant. it's waking them up a couple times an hour and their head is pounding with pressure and they're so miserable they want to cry.
around 1am, their partner wakes up and turns the lamp on and offers to help, saying how terrible they sound, and they feel so sick that they agree. the next time they start to hitch, their partner takes two q-tips and slips them up their red, chapped nostrils, then rotates them both at the same time so they tickle every nose hair and chafe against every sore, swollen, cold-ridden membrane.
they sneeze once, but it stifles against the wall of snot. they try it again, and it stifles a second time, but their sniffles sound a little looser, like something is about to break. sure enough, on the third time, the sickie's red nose explodes, and it rockets violently up their sore throat and blasts their overswollen sinuses apart long enough to shoot out both qtips and two ropes of snot onto their partner's hand. before they can stop it, another sneeze causes a second eruption from their cold, this time both shooting snot everywhere and spraying it. a fourth and fifth sneeze disloges even more crammed into the swollen folds of their sinuses, and their face is pounding with the shaking force of it all. their poor nostrils flare again, and another rope of snot connects with their partner's neck and stays in a long string that ends back at their sick nose.
the sickie sniffles, dazed. "Oh doe, Ibb so sorry, uubbb--" then they sneeze again. and again. now the sneezing is incessant and wet and violent and a theme for the rest of the night.
at 6am the next morning when their alarm goes off, they moan and call in sick, then try to fall back asleep breathing through their mouth, clutching an icepack to their throbbing sinuses in the warm dark. their partner coaxes a thermometer in their mouth, and they struggle to breathe around it while its under their tounge, and it comes out with a warming temperature of 100.8. as their partner removes the thermometer, they sneeze again and again, exploding their cold all over their partner for the hundreth time that night, and then they sniffle and sink miserably back down into the pillows as they start to nurse their chills.
"I hobe I didn'd gibe you by code," they rasp. "this ode is really bad-- HETSCHOO! Guuhhh, SNNXT... I really dodd feel well ad all..." it was terrible when they couldn't sneeze at all, but now that they can, it feels like the cold really is in full swing. it feels like the virus has spent the night hitting their sinuses with a baseball bat.
their partner blames their tiredness on having spent half the night tending to the sickie, but the truth is that by the time they say that, their own throat is feeling a little sore, and they aren't sure they're feeling their best, either.
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omg-snakes · 3 months ago
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Hi! I have a question about feeding my 3yr old corn snake. Hes 340g and ive been trying feeding him every 14 days. But I cant seem to find mice that are big enough and he acts hungry all the time lately. Are rats ok once in a while or should I just give him more than one mouse all the time? Thanks!
Hey, friend!
Rats are okay and strongly encouraged. Corn snakes often do act hungry when they don't actually need more food, and they can beg themselves into obesity so be mindful of that. If his body condition is good or if he's a little lean, then he might be actually hungry.
A snake that size and age should be eating about 35-ish grams of food every 10-ish days, which is a large (but not jumbo) adult mouse or a large pup/small weaned rat. You can also offer two mice that add up to 35 grams, an extra-small chicken chick, or a small quail. Once or twice a year you can also offer ONE quail egg (they're very rich; just one is enough.)
Variety is the spice of life, so switch it up as often as you are comfortable doing!
Really, corn snakes probably shouldn't be eating only one species of prey their entire lives. We do this in captivity for our own convenience but, like, it's definitely not natural. We don't do this with any other animal we keep. Dogs and cats have different flavors of canned food and multiple types of meat and veggies/grains in their prepared dry foods. Insectivorous lizards (should) get different types of bugs on rotation. Even fish get more species variety in their food than snakes!
I should mention that corn snakes in captivity have become a little bit like "chicken nugget kids" where they are so used to eating one type of food that they might be hesitant to try new things at first, especially when it comes to rats. I suspect rats are less yummy-smelling than mice to the snake palate. You may need to poke a little hole with a pin in the head of a thawed rat to expose some brain. Brains are mostly fat and fat = flavor, so that's usually enough to convince a neophobic snake that what's been placed in front of them is, in fact, delicious food and not a weird warm fuzzy rock or a dangerous but strangely unmoving predator.
I hope that makes sourcing food a little easier going forward, and that your buddy is happy and well-nourished!
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deanbrainrotwritings · 2 months ago
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— BUTTERFLIES AND HURRICANES
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SUMMARY : Colt takes you out for a ride…
PAIRING : colt seavers x fem!reader
CHARACTERS : none
WARNINGS/TAGS : explicit(18+), fluff, jokes and fun times, unprotected piv, fingering, handjob, maybe a kissing kink (idk if that's a thing)
WORD COUNT : 6.7k
A/N : title is a muse song. this is part of the @alphabetquest challenge — car sex! (heheh, I have a type) <333 the car has to be a 2022 ford shelby gt500 since it's the first image that popped up when I searched up Mustang in Canva, lmao. ALSO IM NOT DEAD YET AND THIS ISNT DEAN... I WAS SCARED TO WRITE ABOUT A NEW CHARACTER BUT I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT RYAN GOSLING SO IDK WHY THIS IS LONG SORRY xx
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All you could think of was Colt Seavers.
You felt embarrassed with the way he occupied your mind, but it was impossible for you not to fall fast and hard for him. He was funny and sweet and romantic and caring and genuine. He made you feel young and careless, but not in a way that would bite you in the ass once you returned to Earth. 
You knew you could dive headfirst into him and his gorgeous blue eyes, and never be afraid that you've wasted your time.
To clear things up, you only felt embarrassed because you needed to get work done. Here you were, staring at the empty script that was waiting to be written, and all you could think of was Colt Seavers. You were embarrassed because, suddenly, all your stories, all your words, and all your characters contained an aspect of him. 
Your relationship with Colt wasn't a secret, but the director was expecting certain specific details and plots from you. And he'd know Colt was the reason for the change in your writing, and everyone would know, and Colt would know. 
And you weren't sure you were ready for that. Even if you were going steady with him, already shared intimate moments, and it was becoming the norm to wake up beside him. Even if he was effortlessly sweet, and perfect for creating a happily-ever-after with.
He was magical. Refreshing. Good. 
He was like a crisp sunshine in the early morning, never scalding, never freezing. Perfect for catching some vitamin… D… No… don't do that, body. 
You reached out for the cup of coffee beside your keyboard and lifted it up to your lips. You knew the caffeine wouldn't ease your overactive mind, but it would probably help you focus that energy on a specific task. You hoped very hard that it would be the case, and that you'd write something that make the director, and everyone else on set happy.
"Uh, you, whatever your name is, that's mine."
You stopped drinking and looked behind you, at Colt. He was trying to look serious. You resisted a smile as you licked some coffee from you lips. You looked back at the cup and rotated it to find his name written in black ink.
"I was just making sure it wasn't poisoned," you lied, allowing yourself to smile briefly. You turned around in your chair and held the cup out for him—your smile gone. "It's safe to drink."
"Oh, great," Colt beamed, and crossed the space to take the cup from you. "Wow, someone's boss thinks I'm special enough to save from poisoning." 
You stared up at him as he took a few sips, and you admire him, his glowing skin and… beard… remniscing about what it felt like all over your body when he'd kiss you. He stared at you as he swallowed his final sip of the warm caffeine, and you knew he was waiting for you to say something, but you kind of have nothing to say now. 
He's so adorable. And beautiful. And you should focus on writing, but the way he's staring down at you is making your heart race, and he bit his lip to hide his grin, and all you can think of… is how much you want him. 
"Maybe I should learn the name of the beautiful, brave, and selfless woman who almost died for me, possibly," he started up again, dramatic and very much flirty now. He held out his hand, you took it, and shook it once. You were about to say your name, but he set the cup back down on the table. 
You followed the movement, barley began looking back at him, wondering what he was up to, when he tugged you up out of your chair. You squealed as you crashed against his hard body and the smooth leather of his F1 suit. He released your hand to wrap his arms tightly around your waist, and hold you close to his chest. 
You looked up and found him smiling already. Colt kicked your chair out of the way and walked you back into the desk, but he didn't lift you up on it. He just kept you trapped between his warm body and the edge of the table, which dug into the bottom of your ass. 
"So… I can kiss you, right?" He wondered, staring down at your lips. He licked his own. "We're at that… you know, stage…? Where we do that?" The more he talked, the bigger you smiled, especially since you knew he was trying to actcasual. 
"We've fucked before, like… twenty times, I'm not counting, but I'm pretty sure it's around that much," you rambled. You definitely wanted a kiss from him, but he always managed to make your face hot and your heart beat at an insane rhythm. You didn't even know what the point of your sentence was anymore, but it caught him off guard and distracted him. 
"Fucked? That's a bit aggressive," he commented quietly, leaning closer. His hands squeezed your hips and you flattened your palms on his chest. Your breaths became heavy, as did his—quick and warm against your tingling lips. "I'd say it was more like making-"
"No, don't. I don't wanna hear it said that way." 
"But it was…" he bit his lip and looked into your eyes. "…like… that…" He lifted his hand and brushed your hair away, his hand rested against your jawline and your cheeks heated up. 
"Sometimes," you replied quietly, trying to maintain the playfulness. You shrugged. "There were those time where you bit me really hard and-"
He snorted. 
"I'm gonna kiss you now," he warned and began to dip down. You held your breath, suddenly, almost virginally, the anticipation of his kiss made you shamefully needy. He stopped, almost touching your lips, teasing you, so you felt his breath tickle your lips. 
Then, when you were at the apotheosis of hot, horny, and embarrassed, his lips pressed against yours. Your nerves and neurons exploded at his touch. The coarse hair of his beard and mustache tickled you, but that was what reminded you who you were kissing. 
Colt's hand clenched in your hair and his arm tightened around your waist to pull you impossibly close. Your knees weakened when he traced your lips with his warm tongue. You clung to the leather covering his body, breathed shakily against his mouth, and he tilted his face to deepen the kiss. 
His mouth met yours again, and his tongue was in your mouth this time. You tasted the sweetness of coffee in him and he tasted that sweetness in you. You felt lightheaded and your arousal skyrocketed, and you worsened it by sitting up on the desk and pulling his hips against yours. You moaned softly against his mouth at the contact, he groaned in response, and nibbled on your lip. 
Colt gently pulled your hair and dragged his mouth down your neck, his teeth and tongue followed, all the way down to your clavicle. Your hands moved upwards into his hair, threading through to tug at as you panted for air. Your body felt sensitive and fiery against his mouth, and his body, and his hands. 
He rolled his hips against yours, slid his hand down the back of your thigh to press precisely against your covered clit, all with his hand still tight in your hair. 
"Colt!" 
His name being shouted through the two-way radio ripped the veil of lust and contentment that kept you blind to reality. Colt grunted in irritation against your neck and brought his mouth back up to yours, ignoring the stunt coordinator. 
"Where are you? We're starting in five minutes!" You gently pushed Colt's chest and smiled against his greedy mouth. 
"We have five minutes," he mumbled against your lips. You laughed softly and kissed him firmly as a goodbye, but his warm and calloused hands sneaked beneath your pink blouse. You drew your mouth away from his, despite his complaints, and he licked his lips as he gazed down at you playfully. 
His hand untangled from your hair, he cupped your cheek instead, and slowly began leaning forward, waiting for you to stop him. 
"Colt," you whispered, placing your finger on his lips to stop him from diving back in. "You should go," you tried not to laugh. He wrapped his fingers around your wrist and leaned forward to kiss you deeply, then placed two soft kisses against your lips. "I'll see you later," you promised breathlessly.
His thumb brushed against your bottom lip, he his teeth sank into his own as if contemplating kissing you again. But he ended up conceding, "yeah, okay."
Colt udjusted his suit at the crotch area, then ran his fingers through his tousled hair. His natural hair was growing out so only the tips remained bleached from… being Tom Ryder's stuntman... You had a hard time believing his life story was anything but fiction, except there was plenty of evidence proving otherwise. 
"Wait, where will I see you?" He stopped and leaned against the door. 
"Here. I'll take you to- well, it's a surprise," you grinned playfully. "But it's a gift for me, mostly." You batted your lashes innocently at him. Colt shook his head and laughed, finally heading out. 
"Wait, your coffee!"
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You were touching up the script, deleting and rewriting lines of dialogue and adding a few important moments that needed to be acted out, all while smiling to yourself as you recalled the way Colt subtly flirted with you any chance he got while standing behind the director. 
It was nice to steal a few moments with him when the opportunity presented itself. With Colt being who he is, he pretty much managed to make nearly every moment with you romantic to some extent. Sometimes it was seductive smiles with a hint of playfulness, long and innocent touches with undertones of sensuality. But maybe what you loved most was that he always managed to say something cute, romantic, sweet, funny, sexy, or dorky in a way that most definitely made you blush, somehow. 
You weren't going to lie, you were a little excited for tonight. So excited, in fact, that you quickly stopped by the hotel you were staying at to shower and put on a burgundy sundress rather than the jeans and blouse you'd been wearing earlier. 
There was a soft knock on your trailer and the door quietly opened, but Colt had already given himself away with a quiet hiss and an, "ouch." 
You shut your laptop while you grinned, ready to laugh at him for whatever he'd clumsily done—since he didn't often do anything clumsy on purpose. 
He must have gotten the same ideas as you, and gone back to his room to get cleaned up and put something clean on. And he had a small orange moon cactus in his hand; the other hand, he was inspecting carefully. He'd pricked himself. 
When he looked up at you, he was as stunned as you were. He dropped his hand after blindly kicking the door shut behind him, and slowly dragged his eyes down your body before returning to your face. 
"Wow, you look very pretty." Had the air not blown the scent of his cologne rushing to you, you would have been able to repsond with something as sweet and earnest as his compliment.
"So do you," you murmured, sounding dazed, unfortunately. Still, his cheeks turned bright and he laughed while holding the plant out for you to take. You took it from him carefully. 
"I know you said you hated flowers because they reminded you of funerals and hospitalisation, so I got you a plant instead," Colt explained. You couldn't stop the laugh that bubbled out of you hearing that out loud, and coming from him, it was more funny. 
He joined in and chuckled softly, seeming a little unsure. 
"That's a pretty decent loophole," you sighed, and lifted the cactus so it was at eye-level. "It's cute." He shoved his hands into his jeans, stepped closer and looked down at it with you. 
"I named it Shirley," he informed you. 
"That's more adorable." Him, the fact that he named it, the name? All of it?
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You stopped at the winding road that your friend had told you about. Had she not taken you and your two other friends to see the place, for a picnic date, you'd have never wanted to see Colt in your car, driving the way you've always dreamt of doing.
But here he was, well, he was in the passenger seat, but still. You were going to ask him to drive your car down to… nowhere in particular, just to live vicariously through him. 
"What's here? A serial killer cabin?" He looked over at you, a smile playing on his lips. Your eyes skimmed over his gorgeous face, his beauty somehow enhanced with the glow of the vibrant sunset pouring over his face. 
"I have a request," you started, watching him lean in close to you, listening intently for your words. He smelled so clean and soft and good—no, that's not the point. "Drive my car, you can stop whenever you want."
"That's… you want me to drive for any particular reason?" Colt looked down the empty road and then over at you, his blue eyes sparkled flirtatiously. 
Your heart began to beat swiftly again and your face heated up. "You know… When I was a kid, I wanted to be a NASCAR driver, and writing about an F1 driver is just… you know, do this for me?" 
"Really? You wanted to be a NASCAR driver?" He was on the verge of bursting out into laughter, but he also looked genuinely surprised at your confession, so you looked away and shrugged. 
"To be fair, I wanted to be a palaeontologist, elementary teacher, and fashion designer, too. Those option would've been… more awesome than… this," you mumbled, looking at the road as the sun hid behind seemingly endless hills and trees. 
"I think you're awesome right now," he whispered. You turned to him again, and became flustered by the softness on his gaze and his words. Your stomach somersaulted, he chewed on his lip, and you could've kisses him hard if your heart would've allowed you to relax.
"Shut up," you muttered bashfully. "I mean, thank you. What? Stop it," you looked away from him and he snickered. 
"I'll do it," he told you, giving you and your warm face a small break. He started to get out, and you fumbled with the seatbelt to meet him at the front of your car, where it was warmer compared to the cool breeze surrounding you and Colt. "If you wanna stop just tell me. Also, I'm gonna need a kiss," he teased and shrugged casually. 
You rolled your eyes, but how could you deny him? The air had been sexually charged the whole ride here, and now that you were stepping closer, you felt like you were being fused to him. Like a massive chemical reaction would occur as soon as you touched him. 
You closed the distance between you and him, on your tip-toes. Your hands gripped the colourful green and blue plaid shirt he was wearing, and his hands held your hips, clenching slightly. He waited for you, this time, as your breath mingled with his. 
The touch of your lips to his made you breathless instantly, and what was meant to have been an innocent and quick kiss became another make out session. With you on the hot hood of your car, with his fingers tangled in your hair, with yours buried in his hair, and his other sneaky hand lifting your dress higher and higher. 
"Colt," you breathed his name out softly. 
He released you instantly and licked the taste of your mouth from his lips. "Right, be professional. Totally."
"Not too professional," you smiled and slid down the hood with his help. "Anyway," you looked ahead and the darkening sky, "It's no Nürburgring, but we're not here to check my car's features. What I did check was the traction, it's all good… so…" You clicked your tongue and gave him a thumbs up, which he returned with a grin. 
You quickly entered your car and sat in the passenger seat, but when he entered the driver's side, his head hit the top of the roof and his thick thighs squeezed beneath the steering wheel. 
"My God… you are tiny," he murmured playfully, adjusting the seat and the mirrors. You snorted, slightly embarrassed. But as you watched him, your wondered if this was a good idea. You wanted to jump him and—no, please. "Alright, how attached are you to this car?" He joked, putting his seatbelt on while looking over at you. 
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Colt was hot enough as it was, but being there in the car with him as he smoothly sped down the road, making sharp turns smoother than you could've done—you couldn't tell if your heart was racing because of the speed or because of how hot he looked beside you. 
You liked the way he handled your car, the way his hands moved adeptly over the steering wheel, the way his thighs became taut with every press on the brake and gas pedal. There was surely nothing more sexy than the sight of him concentrated and cautious, all at once, as he drove at speeds higher than you were brave enough for. 
He turned into an empty field and drove straight a fair distance into the tall-ish grass, at first. He was testing the ground, feeling it beneath the wheels as he turned and braked before moving the car in a circle, once and twice, then stopped. 
His chest was heaving and he looked alluringy flushed—you imagined that you probably looked similar to him. He relaxed against the seat, rested his hands on his thighs, and looked over at you with an exhilarated smile. He looked beautiful and unexpectedly relaxed. 
You smiled back, dazed and… aroused.
"Wow, that was…. you're… amazing," you sighed, looking out at the night sky, a slim orange line of light remained on the horizon. You were too embarrassed by your desire for him, but the darkening sky was distraction enough. For a few moments, the bright star that shined near the moon on the darkest side of the sky captured your attention.
"Not as amazing as you," he exhaled. His hand wrapped around yours and you turned back to him with a blush you wanted to hide extremely bad. 
What you really wanted most was for the warm throb between your legs to stop, so the moment could remain sweet and funny, but the way he looked at you, and the way his hand felt in yours was making you feel like you were on the verge of combusting. 
You pressed your thighs together and squeezed his hand subconsciously. Before you could attempt to brush it off as nothing, Colt leaned forward to capture your lips with his. The kiss was fueled by adrenaline and by the suffocating lust that had been engulfing you both since the morning. 
Typically, you would have pulled away to crack a joke and ease the sexual tension, but you were done with trying to stay away from him. There was no reason to continue being professional now that you were off set. 
So instead, you unbuckled your belt and then removed his own—more carefully, so it wouldn't slap painfully against his body. His mouth chased yours anyway and it made your stomach flip. You cupped his face to guide his mouth back to yours, ignoring the course tickle of his beard against your soft palms, and kissed him roughly. 
He moaned softly into your mouth, surprised, but kissed you back just as desperately. 
You felt him blindly turn the car off, and once he did, he turned to you fully, and quickly started to lift your dress up your legs. Your heart pounded in your ears while he squeezed your thighs. His teeth nipped at your lips, your soft gasp gave his tongue access to slip into your mouth, and slide against yours. 
Heat pooled between your legs, dampening your underwear. His warm hand was gripping your hip beneath your dress, so tight it made you moan as he expertly licked into your mouth. It was maddening and you only pulled away to regain your wits, to catch your breath, to see what he was currently feeling or thinking about the whole… You and him thing. In the car. 
"Do you wanna…?" He asked before you could, with his cheeks burnt red with a blush. You felt as hot and coloured as he looked, despite the chill of the night. You pressed your thighs together, feeling the wetness between your legs soaking your underwear, which only worsened by staring at the flushed and wrecked state of him. "We don't have to, it's up to you." 
Instead of responding, you shoved your dress upwards, and Colt leered at you as you lifted your hips to pull your underwear down your legs. He made you feel, possibly, hotter than you ever felt before, and made you act far more daring than you thought yourself capable of. You would never have had car sex in the middle of an empty field with anyone. 
But everything always felt right with Colt. 
"Are you sure?" He murmured, lips parting as he watched you climb over the middle and into his lap. He swallowed and carefully placed his hands on your thighs, grateful that you'd kept your dress lifted as you slid over to him. 
"Very sure," you reassured him, pecking his parted lips once. 
"Okay, cool, cool," he said, voice slightly shaky. You leaned close to him, holding the seat with one hand and trying to find the handle beneath the seat to recline it with the other.
Colt's mouth was on your neck instantly, beard scratching your sensitive skin, his playful and passionate mouth worked like heat conduction with your body. You'd held the handle, distracted by his lips and tongue against your pulse, it was when he pulled away that you mischievously pulled the lever. 
"Oh, fuck!" He exclaimed, attempting to sit up straight against the sudden movement. You tried to balance in his lap despite his shock and then he laughed, melting against the seat with his hands in his hair.
"Sorry, I thought it'd be funny," you laughed apologetically, playing with the button of his jeans. You leaned over him and brushed his wavy hair away from his blue eyes. 
"That was really mean," he chuckled. You apologised again, but he was laughing with you, and shifting beneath you until he was comfortable. His hands were back on your thighs and moving up higher, reigniting a heat between your legs. "Are you comfortable?" He whispered, watching your face as your eyes danced over his contently. 
"Mm-hmm," you nodded, caressing his cheek, just above his beard. "Are you comfortable?" Colt leaned into your touch and you tried, with one hand, to unbottom his shirt, only slightly exasperated by the sight of a white t-shirt underneath. 
You turned the light on above you have clearer sight of the buttons. He looked way prettier, even under the yellow light, like honey or gold. 
"It's kinda hot," was all he said. You smiled, felt his thighs become tense beneath you, and so you started to undo the buttons with both hands to get him out of the warm layers faster. "Can I… touch you?" He asked quietly, brushing his thumbs along your hipbones. 
"You are touching me," you teased, trying to focus on popping each button of his shirt out, and doing the same to his jeans. He shifted beneath you and flexed his hands impatiently on your thighs. 
"Can I touch you… everywhere else?" He was being playful, too, now, but if only he knew that the way he was touching you now was somehow turning you on. 
"If you get all this clothes off, then yeah," you replied, shoving the warm flannel over his broad shoulders. He chuckled and lifted himself up to shrug the warmest layer off his shoulders, and took the opportunity to kiss you. Your hands clenched the hem of his white t-shirt. You could feel his muscles tightening as he attempted to smoothly remove and throw his shirt in the back seat. 
You laughed against his mouth when he yanked it off his wrist impatiently, and eagerly began to pull his t-shirt up his muscled torso yourself. Your hands moved flat against his warm skin, feeling every hard and defined plane of his body with curious intensity. Colt smiled and hummed softly at the cool touch of your hands, his hips wiggled beneath you, urging you to go faster. When his shirt was high enough, he barley allowed your lips to separate, and instantly returned to kissing you. 
You threw the shirt in the back, brought one of your hands back down to his jeans, and carefully pressed your hand against his dick. He groaned against your mouth and his hips bucked upwards into your palm. A pulse shot through your clit at the sound and you gently kept rubbing your palm against him to draw more sounds from him and buried your fingers in his soft hair. 
"Please," he mumbled against your lips, pulling at your clothes, demanding that you be bare above him. Your stomach clenched and you let him drag your dress up your body, so you were sitting on his lap only in your bra. 
You breathed heavily, your skin flushed and prickled as he stared longingly at you. He pulled you closer with his hands on your hips, blunt nails pressing into your flesh. 
You leaned into him as he settled back into the reclined seat with your body as close to his as possible. 
"Kiss me again," he whispered, his baby blue eyes glued to your mouth, begging for it to be on his again while your hands wandered between your bodies to get rid of his pants. 
You dipped down to meet his greedy mouth with a singular firm kiss. 
"Colt," you murmured over his kiss-swollen lips, having half the mind to beg him to finally touch you. Except your breath hitched when he fervently leaned forward to capture your mouth with his, licked gently along your lip as an indication of his intentions, and carefully slipped his tongue into the rift made by your surprise. 
You could feel how slick you were, your neediness thrummed through your cunt and tingled across your skin wherever his body touched yours. 
You mindfully began unzipping his jeans as he devoured your mouth with so much passion your head felt light and your hearing was muffled by your heartbeat. 
His lips moved over yours hotly and his warm hands pressed tightly against the skin of your back. He adeptly undid your bra, threw it in the backseat as well, and ghosted his lips down your throat and sternum to kiss your breasts. 
You brought your hand inside his jeans, feeling the warm, thick hardness of his dick against your teasing hand over his briefs. He groaned and bit gently at your breast, and his hands trailed down your sides roughly. 
You couldn't take it, the feeling of his hot mouth, and the aching need between your legs, and the tingling sensation on your sensitive body following the touch of his skin. 
You thread your fingers through his hair, urging his mouth away from your spit-slick nipples. He grunted at the sharp tug of his waves when he ignored you, released your breast with a pop, and gazed up at you endearingly dazed. 
"What?" He asked with a playful smile, trying to hide the fact that he was more than enjoying teasing you. You tugged at his hair again, with enough force to draw a deep groan from him, and your cheeks flared up.
He bit his lip when you shoved your hand inside his underwear, your fingertips traced the length of him, feeling him throb and twitch. Colt whined quietly, his brows drawn together, teeth buried impossibly deep into his already kiss-swollen lip. You clenched around nothing and circled your thumb around the leaking tip of his cock. He shakily exhaled your name and lifted his hips into your hand. 
"I need you, Colt."
"Fuck… yeah, me too," he panted and started shoving his briefs and jeans down before you even got your hand out. You laughed softly at his enthusiasm and lifted your knee up to the padded console next to the seat to give him more space. 
You kissed him again, felt his smug smile against your lips when you tenderly cupped his face in your hands. He followed your mouth when you pulled away to drag your mouth down his neck and collar bone. Your hands moved down his warm skin, exploring what you could of his fit body. You licked at his skin, the dips of his throat, and grazed his collarbone with your teeth. 
Your hearing was entirely focused on his heavy breathing and breathy words. You felt his fingers move along the inside of your thigh and you sucked gently at his chest, then bit down on the hard muscle. 
"Shit," he grunted, and pressed his hand between your legs. His palm rested against your clit and his fingers circled your entranced. You gasped as your stomach summersaulted and heat spread through your body instantaneously. "You're so wet," he murmured, dragging his glistening fingers up to your clit. 
You lifted yourself up shakily, hands flat on his chest, and watched him. His blue eyes first swept over your face as he circled your clit, your thighs shook as you kept yourself up. He bit his lip before allowing his gaze to fall to your breasts and finally, between your legs where his fingers were busy. He looked so attractive beneath you, chest heaving and face flushed pink. 
You shuddered when he pressed two fingers into you, slowly and shallowly pulling them out and back into you, and never going as deep as you wanted him to be. Still, he curled his fingers inside you and your breath hitched. 
He kept the same rhythm and you flushed as the slowness somehow amplified the lubric sound of his fingers entering you. Your lips parted, shaky breaths slipped from between them, and your eyes fell shut for a few moments before opening again to criticise him. "You're driving me crazy, Colt."
"You look hot when I do that," he admitted unapologetically, and gave you a smirk. You squirmed and clenched around his fingers, embarrassed by his earnestness. And then he continued to tease you, watching your hips move and your body tremble when his thumb brushed against your clit just perfectly. 
"Stop that," you scolded, holding his wrist shortly despite the new layer of slick that dripped around his hand. He hummed softly and buried his fingers deeper into you. 
"What?" He asked with a grin, moving his fingers faster and pressing his thumb harder against your clit. The sound of your wetness nearly mortified you. "Is that better?" He asked softly, but still teasingly. Your stomach felt like it was free-falling and your thighs twitched, wanting to shut around his hand as your pleasure increased exponentially. 
"Please, just…" You leaned back slightly and dragged your nails gently along his abs. Through your hazey eyes you wrapped your fingers around his cock and gently slid your loose fist over him. 
"I heard you," Colt mumbled jokingly, jerking his hips into your hand. He gasped when you slid your palm over his wet tip and squeezed your hand downwards to spread his precum over the smooth and hot skin of his cock. He laughed and pulled his fingers from inside you. "Right, I was just- ah, fuck," he grunted, slightly thrown by the unexpected sensation of your thumb rubbing beneath the head of his cock repeatedly when your slid your hand upwards. 
"You're such a fucking dork," you mumbled, stopping your own tormenting touch to guide his cock between your legs. 
"Uh, yeah, and you're into that." He bit his lip and stared into your eyes, which glittered with amusement at his words. You watched him suspiciously and smiled a little. "I mean, there's also my six pack and when you see me naked, you start-" You interrupted him by sinking down on him, he choked on his words, and moaned with you as you slowly dropped yourself on him. You stretched around him, feeling deliciously full and hot with him throbbing inside you.
Colt gripped your hips tightly once you were fully seated on him. You smirked at the facial expression he made when you clenched around him in your own smug excitement and languidly lifted yourself up with your hands on his chest. 
"Let's keep kissing," he proposed breathlessly, bringing one of his hands up your shoulder, behind your neck, and into your hair to pull you forward. You couldn't help laughing at him, but allowed him to bring you down. His soft mouth parted slightly, ready for yours, making your stomach tingle.
His beard tickled your chin and lips when your lips collided, his tongue swiped over your teeth, then slid into your mouth to move against yours.
You lifted yourself up cautiously, nose brushing against his when you pulled away to find a comfortable position and rhythm. But Colt was serious about kissing you and lifted his head to reattach his lips to yours, and thrusted upwards into you.
You moaned into the kiss, forced to hover above him with his steel grip on your hip, and his hand clenched in your hair to keep your mouth firmly against his. He inched you up his body, hips angled slightly, and rolled his upwards experimentally, pushing his cock against your gspot and making it so you clit rubbed against him.
His name tumbling from your lips was muffled by his hungry mouth against yours, his tongue tasting as deep and thoroughly as he could despite the clash of teeth. He fucked you harder, panting and breathing against your lips to catch his breath before kissing you with so much passion you knew your lips would be sensitive in either a few hours or by tomorrow. 
"You feel so good, fuck," he grunted against your mouth and sank his teeth into your lip. You whined at the sting, but your stomach fluttered at his words. He licked your lip soothingly and let his calloused hands desperately wander over your body, occasionally flexing his hands over your skin. You could feel yourself getting wetter and wetter around him.
"Colt, I-" you whimpered, moving your mouth away from his to bury your face in his neck, feeling the unabated force of your orgasm approaching. His hips stuttered when you sucked softly at his throat and he breathed out your name. You inhaled the scent of him, the shampoo, and body wash, and shaving cream nearly masked by the thin sheen of sweat on his skin. 
"Please… wanna see you," he exhaled the words unevenly, nuzzling against the side of your face. His breaths and grunts against your ear made you shiver and tighten around him. 
You were too stupefied and saturated with pleasure to lift yourself up, but when his fingers drove into the flesh of your hips and his thrusts became sloppy, all you wanted was to watch him fall apart beneath you. 
You lifted your flushed face and steadied your forearms on his broad shoulders, meeting his glossy blue eyes, his rosy cheeks above his beard. His warm breath fanned over your face and you stopped seeing sense in continuing to edge yourself on him. 
Pleasure washed over you, his name and praises dropped from your lips in desperate sobs. You clamped down and pulsed around him as you came, trying to fuck yourself slower on him to drag your orgasm out. He cursed against your open mouth and pleasure contorted his handsome face. 
His hips snapped upwards and he held your hips down as he twitched and spilled inside you. He grunted your name and helped you ride out your orgasm with him. You were out of breath and your thighs were burning from the position you were in, but your body was tingling with so much numbing pleasure, that you didn't care.
You watched him become more gentle again as he came down from his high with you, that sweet smile returned and his adoring blue eyes turned softer. It made your head spin, the way he looked at you. And right now, you could see all the jokes and loving words taking shape in his mind as he caught his breath.
You took his face in your hands, pressing tender kisses over his cheeks, forehead, nose, and anywhere you could reach. He was smiling the entire time, almost triumphantly, but he looked more shy than ever.
"Was it that good?" He teased anyway, smirking playfully. 
"I don't like you," you lied, dropping your hands to his chest.
"Liar," he accused, pressing your hips closer to him. Your sensitive core jolted and he stifled a groan, sensitive and soft inside you.
Colt sat up, breathing slowly against your lips, but he didn't kiss you this time. His fingers ghosted gently down your back and rested on your waist. "Wanna eat some burritos?"
You stared down at him, his blue eyes shining from his orgasm, his face flushed and alive from the afterglow, his wavy hair a sexy mess, and his lips red and plush. 
You bit your lip and looked back up into his eyes. He looked wrecked and… happy. It was endearing. It caused a fiery heat to blaze up your chest to your cheeks. "Y-yeah, sounds, uh, that sounds nice."
He stared at you and you stared back, wondering if you'd given yourself away; the fact that you really liked him. 
"What?" He smiled, looking at you curiously. 
"What?" You shrugged, flustered and pretending that you didn't just realise that you really really liked him. Okay, you loved him. "I said yes."
"Hmm," he tilted his head, eyes moving slowly over your face. You tensed in his grasp and blazed with embarrassment. Run away. You lifted yourself off him, ignoring the dribble of cum slipping down your thighs and over his cock. 
You laughed shyly to yourself, slipping away into the passenger seat, where you started to feel the ache in your body as you relaxed. You tried to ignore him, and listened only to him readjusting his jeans and briefs. 
"What were you thinking just then?" He wondered, leaning over to take your chin in his hand and force you to gaze into his stupidly pretty face. 
"Absolutely not!" 
"What? Please, tell me," he begged. You shrugged and kissed his palm before turning away to retrieve your dress and underwear. "I'll kiss you," he offered. 
"You'll kiss me either way," you smiled, pulling your underwear up your legs. 
"That's true. You're lips are very soft and they taste like roses and they feel like roses, too, and your mouth is always minty. Do you eat?" He rambled, his gaze focused on your mouth. "I mean, of course you eat, I was just wondering-"
"Okay, I'll tell you," you cut him off, your heart began racing at just the prospect. He perked up, but you just couldn't fold. "As soon as we get those burritos! Buckle up, cowboy, I'm hungry." 
He deflated slightly, but then he smirked, watching you put your seatbelt on. "Can I at least put my shirt back on first?"
"No, I think I can see a little better in the dark when you're shirtless," you jested, dreamily trailing your hand down his bare chest. His muscles became taut under your touch and he released a breathy laugh. 
"I'm driving," he reminded you quietly. 
You brought your hand up to his jaw and smiled, scratching gently at his beard. "Whatever," you shrugged, "my car, my rules."
You were about to move your hand away, but he took your hand in his, pressed your small palm into his cheek, and looked at you through his lashes. "I think we should kiss."
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goomyloid · 6 months ago
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PLEASE explain your thoughts on kriselle in full detail
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS 100% UNPROMPTED ASK! I SHALL EXPLAIN
i hate toby fox. why did he do this to us. he really put it better than anyone else. not really romantic not really platonic but…. something else… some secret more sinister more heartfelt more absurd third thing
i wonder at what point should i clarify that i dont even really seek out kriselle in a romantic context… DONT GET ME WRONG i have zero issues with the ship whatsoever and all of the krisellers out there are living their best (most painful) lives and i SEE THE APPEAL. BUT when i rotate them in my brain i dont need them to kiss or anything like that i just need them to sit down and sadly hold hands and stay like that forever and ever. in case you couldnt gauge that from my art so far
tldr i dont think i ship them in the traditional sense at least …. the things that i usually fixate on for any romantic ship are not there with these two. there are no romantic feelings there In my mind. and all at the same time i start screaming and throwing up and killing myself (all positive) whenever i see them even in the same image together. hngh
ive tried explaining this to people before and they usually suggest something along the lines of a QPR and even that doesnt feel right to me. truly the best way i can put it is… that red string of fate man… which i almost hesitate on saying too because i dont actually know if noelle is Quite an important enough character to the story to warrant a connection like that. WHICH IS A CRAZY THING TO SAY. I KNOW. DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT GETTING ME WRONG i think dess and her connections to gaster and her usage as a stepping stone into the weird route are all VERY important… but in my brain its just not kris/knight/asriel/every other mysterious main focus of the story Important. i didnt mean to get into deltarune theorizing here i hope nobody’s blood is boiling rn
so yeah in the end. toby fox once again put it best. they are friends, but they are also something else.
back to the actual pairing though… sometimes i think im going overboard and overestimating how close kris and noelle were as children because noelle will go and say things like “i wonder if we were ever really friends at all.” which is kind of a fair statement considering the circumstances. sure they played together and all and tagged along with their siblings to do stuff together but when dess went missing… it all kind of stopped. kris is just a kid, they dont know what to do or even how to process it, much like noelle. asriel is probably dealing with his own feelings, he just lost his friend and likely old enough to understand the weight of what happened. while noelle and kris cant say much to each other at all.
im always back and forth on speaking headcanons for kris but the one that i always seem to come back to is selective mutism… to me kris had a lot of trouble communicating well as a child and could only grow comfortable around certain people, asriel and noelle being clear examples because they’re both so patient with them. maybe because of this noelle felt like they could understand each other without really needing words, and just physical interaction was enough to achieve some form of closeness… or maybe that was all just on her end, she thinks when kris goes to play the piano. but if that’s the case, why does it feel like a concert just for her…?
jesus dont even get me start on them as teenagers either. noelle has lost her sister, and now kris has lost their brother… but not in the same way. they look at each other and wonder if they’re the same now. or, maybe thats too cruel. maybe its not the same thing at all. asriel’s coming back soon, after all. it will all be over soon, kris won’t have to feel this way for much longer, right? so then, why does kris look so miserable, sitting in the corner over there? all noelle feels like she can do is sit next to them quietly. to be there, and to somehow, vaguely, messily help each other. the misfit kids that dont really know how to talk to each other and yet understand each other regardless
thats why the dark world feels like such a dream to her. these crazy city lights, fantastical creatures, susie’s there, and she actually might have the means to defend herself and stand her ground, whether it be verbally or… otherwise
and most of all, much like with kris offering an adventurous haven to susie in ch1, the same is extended to noelle. by kris’s side, no less. it feels like theyre doing things together again, and its fun, and nostalgic… she wants to bring dess. and i think its okay to assume kris wants to bring asriel, too. recreating the make-believe world they lost so long ago… is it really possible?
no… how can it really be possible, when this isnt kris? something is wrong. its almost perfect, except kris… it’s them, but it’s not. she sees their face, their expressions, their laughs, their worries. and yet the voice that comes from them… isnt them. and it scares her! even if nothing particularly bad happened as a result. and if something bad DID happen, well…
she just wants what they had before back. is it really so impossible? can they reconcile after all these years? does kris want to? is kris capable of doing so? maybe they just need to hug again. will it feel like a real hug? the person she thought she understood is acting in ways she doesnt understand. they’re telling her to do weird things. they cycle through actions as if they just want to know what happens. and they cant even play piano anymore.
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ganondoodle · 17 days ago
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i have seen people talk about how hard it is to draw anything if you have aphantasia (which is good to talk about and true and valid and also intersting to read and this post isnt to devalue that, two things can coexist etc etc)
i personally struggle with the opposite; i have incredible imagination, i'd say it's my best and only "inate talent", (this is not a brag ..) all stories i think about are movies, i can stop them, change camera angle and poses, rotate ever object however i want, place lighting sound and voices, even styles, i switch from ghibli to botw to fortiches style, even into the style of a comic i recently read which wasnt even animated, the only thing that only works half the time is music-
and that all might sound fantastic, but its a mess, it goes too fast and too quickly, things never play out one way, theres interruption, involuntarily sudden changes to other subjects, i feel like struggling to keep an angry horse on one path, it makes me waste HOURS each day just reversing and redoing a scene like im a movie director wizard in my head, theres no ONE finished version, it changes everytime yet i go back over and over again to make it better, i forget most of it within a few hours anyway; even IRL when someone tells me about a memory and they are not sure if i was with them during it once they start to explain trying to make me remember it instead i will imagine it, in the end i wont be sure if i actually remembered or if i just imagined it too real, it scares me how much i forget and cant remember only for my mind to make shit up, makign me doubt my own memory (its weird how it works, i have horrible geographical memory, when i drive somwhere i have known my entire life i need to remember the path to it by imagining driving it, i remember significant things but not the path to them or how they connect or in what order, i have to go through it in my head every single time)
by far the worst part though is that extreme disconnect between whats in my mind and what i can do, just because i can imagine things like that doesnt mean i can draw it (god i WISH), nothing i have ever drawn is how it was in my head, the few things you get to see are the ones i won the fight against myself with to keep going and say 'good enough' at some point the speed is a problem too, the things playing in my head, sometimes even multiple at the same time, play like, again, a movie, whatever im trying to draw is rarely ONE thing, its a whole scene that plays over and over, i want to draw it all but it wont work bc my mind is too fast and i am too slow, it makes me try to skip ahead and get things done as fast as possible, it NEVER works (also too much, theres so many things in my head, i have almost the entirety of the totk rewrite in my head already, novels worth of lore and story for my other projects, its overwhelming how much is in there that i cannot get out and on paper)
its why comics take me so long to make, why detailed paintings are so rare, its the rare times i can force myself to try and tune out my mind and just work on what is in front of me, usually works for a few hours .. if i can manage to reach that sort of focus at all, its why basic sketches of characters are so much easier to do bc i dont have to fight as hard to just draw a character doing nothing- as soon as i want to make it a sketch page of things and scenes the movies are back and are there to haunt me until i cry and give up after hours of trying to keep up with my mind that i will never be able to catch up to (and this is only about drawing .. )
i know skill and speed increase over time, but i wont ever get to where my mind is, its always ahead and trying to skip and jump towards it only makes me stumble and fall flat on my face- maybe its ADHD, maybe its the autism, maybe its the depression, maybe its just me, maybe its just all of that
what im trying to say is, head full, too much thought, too fast, never able to translate it into viewable things in the way and speed as my head works, i explode
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saym0-0 · 9 months ago
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what do you think the mechs would be avatars of? my first thought was slaughter for the group as a whole bc,, duh. but now that im thinking about it, i think they'd be more eye/end aligned. because their whole thing is stories and the part they clearly deem most important is the end right? theres all the blood and gore in the middle but the important bit is everyone dies at the end
individually though, not as a whole group they're all sorts of stuff i think
ashes would be desolation for sure with all the fire and the likes, and hades makes me think web too? they're the one behind the scenes pulling the strings (granted, usually for their own entertainment but who can blame em really)
toy soldier would be stranger, once again for obvious reasons. im not really sure if theres much crossover on this one really.
jonny i reckon would be eye and slaughter, mans cares for two things and its violent crime and a good story (amen!)
brian is SO lonely coded like?? its in the backstory song man,, also vague end-ness probably, though tbf they probably all have that end cloud by virtue of being the mechanisms. maybe vast too
tim would be slaughter too, he loves a good murder spree but i feel like theres something else and ive just forgotten like half the fears lmao OUGH hunt maybe? tim goes crazy is very hunt coded
ivy is SO immensely eye. she's literally an archivist. she gathers and stores aaallll that information but her emotional connection to it is reset every night. thats so eye!!
nastya is definitely lonely, at least towards the end but probably the whole time (from what little i know of cyberian demons) and maybe dark? that ones 100% vibes i have no explanation
marius has very spiral vibes i think. hes just a silly guy ur honour i think he deserves it. i cant really think of any other one for him tbh
and raph is quite stranger coded i think, idk the detachment from humanity that comes with being a mad scientist just feels very stranger to me? more so than the average mechs detatchment from humanity
i dont know why i made this post but ive been rotating end/eye mechs in my brain for a couple days just because i think the idea of s5 jmart stumbling across a domain thats kind of an accumulation of the various album aettings and music that can be heard from anywhere in the domain and victims living/reliving the parts of the characters is very very cool and i needed to word vomit it somewhere
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l0cal-catb0y · 1 year ago
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Hero!Ghoap x God!Reader brainrot
this is mainly about ghoap cuz i didnt focus on them in the first post and they deserve love too!! and i wanna add backstory :33 based off this post i made and i think i want them to be childhood friends!! (its one of my favorite tropes im sorry </3)
once again this is just word vomit !! not my best but it must be shared :DD but also!! let me know if you have any ideas for what reader should be the god of cuz i really have no ideas and i wanna add more details to them!!
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definingly have the vibe they would've meet by running into each other playing in a field when they were very young and just ended up sticking together. simon found comfort in johnny's presence and just sort of started following him everywhere he went with johnny just completely okay with dragging this boy around cuz!! he gets to have fun with his friend!! :DD sadly though they have to have reason to become fighters for plot reasons </33 their village gets destroyed, burnt and looted with few survivors left. theyre both distraught and angry with johnny openly wanting to track down the people behind the attack and fuck them up (simon too but hes silent about it) maybe johnny starts getting ready to start that hunt without telling anyone but simon can just read him perfectly and just pulls him aside to tell him that he's coming too.
I feel like along their hunt they would stop and take care of anyone that were causing issues, probably with just small trouble makers but as they become stronger and more experienced they deal with whole gangs of people (they end up getting the names ghost and soap along the way somehow) they become more renowned for their strength and victories that even cities far off know them!! im thinking the group that destroyed their village became an army and overconfident to the point of disrespecting the gods (probably not all but definitely some big ones) so when ghost and soap become bigger names they are given the upperhand with the backing of the gods who wish to put the group back into place. they basically get to the level of demigods !!
romance wise though,,, giggles,,, somewhere along their journey after a hard fight they would confess while patching each other up, the concern for each other far outweighing the fear of rejection <33 the gentle touch of making sure theyre still there and the whispers of love would be so soft after they know its a mutual love omg. their routines change a little afterwards too!! like simon giving johnny little trinkets to have in his pockets (probably something handmade when he cant sleep) and johnny braiding part of simon's hair before a fight (maybe he braids a piece of simon's hair into his own braid and his hair into simon's?)
I don't think they would actively worship one particular god? they would give offerings every so often as thanks for the blessing or in hope of getting some luck with something (finding info or just having good weather) but they are mainly on their own for the most part. yes they are favored more than others but it doesnt mean the gods really care about them yknow? they both know theyre just a means to an end for some of them :((
so when you start looking out for them theyre both just :OO you actually care about them outside of what they can do!! you help them with small things!! your watching eyes comfort simon when he cant sleep!! you guide johnny to peaceful areas for him to relax and draw at!! you send your associated animal to keep watch if they ever both crash after a fight!! they start to add stuff to their routines that relate to you in some way :33 making crafts of your symbols and having one with them for "good luck" or making a small spot for you at every camp they make or talking to you (aka the open air of your spot) about their plans and what they wanna do next!!
idk man brainrot and lack of sleep are getting to me!! im going to rotate these two in this au in my head for the next month ^-^
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raineyana · 4 months ago
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What is your normal grocery list? I’m about to be living at a dorm and I am looking for stuff to stock up on, I can’t really keep frozen foods though
i actually dont even cook all that much so i dont keep a lot of frozen foods either. this is my regular list when i go, usually weekly.
FASTING FOODS
okay so youre probably like. raine you arent supposed to eat anything when you fast. hear me out bc this is how i consistently fast a 20-4 schedule everyday, with a lot less binges than before, AND getting all of the benefits of fasting. and yeah, i still binge from time to time, but my binges are far less because my stomach actually cannot handle being fed over 1000 calories anymore, especially not all at once.
these are my ESSENTIALS so theyre pretty much the only things i consistently buy weekly.
cucumbers
chicken broth (0cal kind)
seaweed snacks
pickled ginger
tea (any, but i like trying new flavors ! my favorite is lemon ginger because it helps digestion, and green tea because it speeds up your metabolism. also a lot healthier than diet coke with the same amount of caffeine, also less likely to spike your blood sugar and kick you out of ketosis- which will make your cravings for food much worse)
...dont get me wrong i couldnt live without diet coke. but sometimes ill go for the healthier option.
why i eat these foods while i fast
these are foods that have extremely low cals and carbs (like less than 2 grams per/serving) so they wont kick you out of ketosis (which is the major benefit to fasting, where your body burns fat at a higher rate). when youre in ketosis, your body stops sending you as many cravings, which is why sometimes it feels easier to fast 24 hours after you last ate as opposed to 3 hours.
because i spend the majority of my time fasting, (and i would never be able to do that without these foods) i go through these items pretty quick.
but otherwise i only have to buy other healthy foods on a biweekly or even monthly basis, because i wont eat them as fast ! heres some things i rotate through depending on how sick of them i am lol.
regular food
built bars - essential for me. tons of protein, less sugar than other bars, and relatively low cal.
somebody on here introduced me to these and im soo glad they did. i dont remember who but if youre seeing this ilysm.
tuna creations packets - rly good for on the go, tons of flavors, lots of protein so they're really filling for only being 70-90cals depending on the flavor
blueberries + apples - so hard to over eat these two items, plus fiber
rice cakes - self explanatory
pistachios or sunflower seeds - great for curbing hunger, but im a little sick of them rn
a low cal air popped popcorn - i forget which brand i have rn, but its pretty good and has a lot of fiber.
chobani yogurt + yogurt protein drinks (50cal) - the fact that these r 50cals amaze me for how good they taste. the yogurt drinks are my favorite bc theres actually a shit ton of protein and taste pretty good without actually having to make myself a protein shake. the cookies and cream and peaches and cream are my favorites ive tried. good for breaking a fast with.
thats all i can think of atm ! sry for the fucking essay i hope this was a little helpful at least.
typing this out manically made me realize im a little crazy. i cant say with my whole chest that you should listen to me and my d1sordered thoughts, but i think everyone on here knows that already so... uh
please be kind to yourselves. take ur vitamins (even while fasting) i genuinely love you all every one of you fucked up bitches like me.
goodnight <3
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