#like honestly it’s been a while since I’ve been in such a well-fed fandom

[mel-ixa]

The more I think about it, the more the RWRB fandom is winning because what do you mean we have a book (with a collector edition!) AND an amazingly written film AND an upcoming sequel??

The difference in the film vs book makes it even better because now there’s 2 versions and they’re both good and canon!!

One of my fav changes in the film is that Alex passed Henry his key in exchange for the ring so they both held on to a piece of each other when the leak happened. And that Alex was the one who played the song in the V&A right after Henry said he always wanted to dance with someone he loved there like omg 😭

I just choose whichever bits I prefer and now the mashed up version in my head is the best of both worlds and damn we are so well-fed!!

Im not even going to get started on AO3 content cause the pairing has over 10k fics so it’s just a buffet there.

And of course Taylor and Nic are both such incredible actors. Like honestly what is there not to love about RWRB!!

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is: @lady-lostmind! lady_lostmind has 84 works in the Stranger Things fandom and 55 of them are in the Steddie tag!

@oh-stars recommends the following works by @lady-lostmind:

This Is The Coin I Had In My Pocket The First Time We Kissed, And I Always Have It.

Transfixed (under your spell)

Fuck

You know what to do, when it gets hold of you.

The Wall

"Mack is one of the best writers in this ship and I am so very lucky to read their work early on. Her Eddie voice is unmatched to me!! Every time I read a new fic of hers, I'm always shocked at how she can outdo herself with creating my next favorite fic. She's fearless in trying new tropes and genres, exploring super serious topics and she has some of the hottest scenes I've read. Every opportunity I have to read or reread her work is an absolute pleasure and I am so honored to get to see her flourish!" -- @oh-stars

Below the cut, @lady-lostmind answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

I’ve been reading fanfic since I was a teenager but I never felt the urge to write my own until watching these two together. I think we can all agree there was some undeniable chemistry between the two on screen and they have such a fun dynamic to work with. I’ve always enjoyed creative writing in some shape or form whether it be for a class or writing lyrics for the band I was in, or the half abandoned novel I have in my docs. I decided to give fanfic a shot and then really loved getting to actually be a part of the community instead of lurking on the edges and leaving kudos anonymously like I had for years. But there is something so special about Steddie in particular and I’m especially drawn to writing Eddie in particular. His character has so many layers to explore and different directions to go and I love making him fall in love with his golden retriever of a man over and over again.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

I am a sucker for a good slow burn, especially with some hurt/comfort thrown in. Please rip my heart out, stomp on it, pick it back up, and hand it back to me wrapped in a pretty little bow.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

Honestly, the same as what I read. As much as I love a good fluffy one shot there’s nothing quite like the sweet torture of dragging your characters through hell before they get their happy ending. It’s so fun trying to navigate what they would do in difficult situations, and how that affects the story overall.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

This is such a hard question. There are so many good fics out there. We’re truly well fed in this community. I think some of my absolute favorites have to be You’re Divine by oonionchiver, and The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway is that it’s you by greatunironic. Both of them inspired me to do a lot of fanart including a bind and cover art for You’re Divine, and drawing all the album covers in TMRTAYSITDITIY.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

I never really know what I’m going to write next until it smacks me in the face. But I’m definitely open to whatever that might be. I will say I’ve never ventured into the omegaverse in my writing but it does seem like a fun one to play around with.

What is your writing process like?

Chaotic. I love writing but have a hard time actually sitting down and focusing on it. I either write a huge chunk all at once, or I write a sentence at a time while watching tv or something. I do really enjoy writing with other people though whether that’s in a sprint or word game.

Do you have any writing quirks?

If I have music on while writing it can’t have any lyrics in it or I get too distracted.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

Oh, a schedule is generous, I’d say. But I do prefer posting chapter by chapter. I feel like people engage a little more as they read each one and I love getting the feedback as I go.

Which fic are you most proud of?

And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife. I think my writing grew a lot during that fic and I’m really proud of the work I put into it. AYMFYIABHWABW was also the first thing I ever wrote for an event and was a big step for me to actually put myself out there and talk with other authors and artists. I made some amazing connections through that event and am so glad I pushed through any self consciousness to ask for a beta reader because I found an amazing one in oh-stars and gained a great friendship through that. They introduced me to karadanverss when the two of them were looking for some help modding the Stranger Things Reverse Big Bang and I not only gained another friend, but got to dip my toe into being a mod, something I never would have even considered doing before, but have had so much fun being a part of as we set up other events together. So I think because of all that, AYMFYIABHWABW will always hold a special place in my heart.

How did you get the idea for This Is The Coin I Had In My Pocket The First Time We Kissed, And I Always Have It.?

During a rewatch of New Girl. Nick Miller is honestly such a mash up of Eddie and Steve, and I could not get the idea out of my head to Steddiefy the scene in the hall where Nick says “Not like this.” It screams hopeless romantic Steve to me, and the title is a line Nick says to Jess way later and it never fails to make me cry. So, I started with that. Just wanting to do a similar situation with Steddie, and it morphed into something much bigger than I intended.

When writing You know what to do, when it gets hold of you., what was something you didn’t expect?

I thought I would have a harder time with Steve’s POV in this one than I did. I really wanted to show a side of him that I feel gets overlooked a lot since he’s always throwing himself in front of everyone else when there’s danger. But what happens when that danger isn’t there anymore? What does he do with that? It’s a side I hadn’t explored much before and I was really happy with where that took me. I really liked getting to see where Steve’s mind would go when the group is seemingly safe.

What inspired Transfixed (under your spell)?

Transfixed was written for the Steddie Summer Exchange! So I actually had this prompt: ‘Popstar Steve and rockstar Eddie having a secret relationship whilst the public and their own band mates think they hate each other.’ to go off of for it. This prompt screamed angsty, hurt/comfort so I was really excited I snagged it in claims.

What was your favorite part to write from You know what to do, when it gets hold of you.?

I think it has to be the scene where Steve finally breaks down. When Eddie figures out what has been going on and Steve just lets it all out. If there is one thing Steve Harrington deserves, it’s a good fucking cry.

How do/did you feel writing The Wall?

The Wall was written for Steddie Love Month with the prompt: Love is letting yourself be loved and if that didn’t scream insecure Steve I don’t know what does. I remember feeling very bittersweet while writing The Wall because I know what it’s like to be afraid to let someone in again when you’ve been hurt, and how good it feels when you finally let that wall down and accept that risk because it’s worth it. I tried to capture that feeling as best as I could.

What was the most difficult part of writing Fuck?

Fuck was another Steddie Love Month prompt. The hardest part of writing this one was just trying not to cackle to myself about how ridiculous Eddie was being. This one was a lot of fun to write.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

Oh my. I think it either has to be the first scene I wrote for AYMFYIABHWABW that sparked the entire thing: Steve is staring at him, eyes wide and rocking a little on his heels like he’s so nervous he can’t stay still. Eddie’s stomach drops, his mind spiraling through a million worst case scenarios all at once. “What’s wrong? Is Wayne– Are the kids okay? Is it–” Steve holds his hands out in front of him and shakes his head. “Fuck, no. Sorry. No. It’s not–” Steve sucks in a deep breath, his hands shooting up into his hair before dropping to hovering in the space between the two of them. “Eds. I fucked up. I so massively fucked up. I can’t even begin to–[...] This feels like a fucking fever dream. Like something he’s imagined a million times over. Awake and asleep, In every possible scenario and position. All the times he fucked men in bathroom stalls and or pressed them against a wall in a dirty alley, this is what he wanted. And he was right. None of it even comes close to being this. This is…it’s everything. Fuck– it’s everything." Or this scene from You know what to do, when it gets hold of you where Steve finally gets to breakdown: Steve shakes against him, his tears wetting the shoulder of Eddie’s shirt. “I’m sorry.” Eddie shakes his head. “It’s okay.” He rubs his hand up and down Steve’s back. “Hey, you’re okay. We’re going to figure this out, okay?” Steve sobs, his hands fisting into Eddie’s shirt a broken “Sorry” slipping out of him again. Eddie’s arms tighten around Steve, and he struggles to swallow the lump forming in his throat, tears welling in his eyes. Can’t help the way his heart breaks a little at the sorrow in Steve’s voice. How vulnerable he sounds. Because Steve Harrington isn’t vulnerable. Steve Harrington dives into lakes with portals to another world at the bottom without a second thought. Steve Harrington rips other dimensional beasts apart with his teeth. Steve Harrington marched into battle calmly, and confidently. Steve Harrington carried Eddie out of a hellscape on his fucking back. Steve Harrington is the rock. He is the one everyone leans on. And Eddie knew. He knew something was wrong. He knew something was going on. But it’s one thing to know it, and another to see your hero crack and crumble in your arms.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

The Eddie Munson Big Bang! Definitely keep an eye on our tumblr (@eddiemunsonbigbang) to see all the amazing fics and art that will be coming out. I’m one of the mods over there, and I’m working on a fic for it that I’m really excited about. If this is posed before the end of September…we’re still looking for artists!

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

I’d just really like to thank anyone who has ever taken the time to read my fics, or like any of the fanart I’ve made. I never expected anyone to really see any of it when I first started all this and have really loved finding a community to be a part of. I never had any friends who were really into fandoms or fanfiction, and up until I started engaging in Steddie content no one in my life even knew I read it. Getting to talk to, and make friends in this community gave me the confidence to talk more about what I’m interested in and connect more with the people in my life. So, thank you all for showing me how to be loud about the things I love and that I don’t have to hide parts of myself away!

Thank you to our author, @lady-lostmind, and our nominator, @oh-stars! See more of lady_lostmind's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[starspatter]

Heroes and Thieves, Ch. 20

Title: Heroes and Thieves Fandom/Universe: BTAS, pre/post-RotJ flashback

Summary: A story about second chances, healing, and having hope.

Rating: PG-13, for references to character death, child psychological torture and trauma.

Genre: Romance/Family/Friendship/Hurt/Comfort

Word Count: 4,019 Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19

Also on ff.net and AO3.

Well my head is dead and my mind is fed up of all this stupid time That has dropped off the clock and I've avoided the knock From the monster that's been running my life He's ugly as hell and well, his heart is broken His eyes tell a tale with words unspoken He dreams of a day when he can honestly say he's alright

-This Love, “Free”

————————–

Then.

“What do you mean you guys haven’t kissed yet?”

The end of December was drawing near, and they had just finished with first semester finals.  The four of them trekked through fresh snow back to the dorms, Steph and Cass taking the lead while Conner and Tim tailed behind, the latter lingering a distance so as not to let the girls overhear their conversation.  Tim watched as the blonde in front of him stretched her arms to the air, blissfully exclaiming: “Ahh freedom at last~” before anxiously asking her friend what she got on one of the more difficult Physics questions.

“It just… hasn’t really come up…  We’ve been studying so much since then, there’s never been a good time…”

Conner shook his head.

“Dude, that’s no excuse.  You gotta keep her satisfied if you plan to hold onto her past holiday break. Sometimes you just gotta go for these things, man.”  He paused, clapping a hand on his companion’s shoulder as he suggestively leaned in closer.  “Listen, Christmas is coming; that means mistletoe season.  It’s a prime opportunity.  If you want, I can totally set something up for you two…”

“I don’t need your assistance.”

Although Tim scoffed at his roomie’s waggling eyebrows, the worry of not measuring up to expectations had been weighing substantially on him over the past few weeks.  Dick kept trying to push him to be more assertive as well, and had even insisted on lending him a collection of certain kinds of “magazines” as “reference material”…

“Hey, what are you boys whispering about back there?”

Stephanie had swiveled around and approached the pair, suspicious of Conner’s smirk and Tim’s evidently embarrassed expression.

“You wouldn’t be bullying my boyfriend, now would you?”

She wrapped herself protectively – possessively – around Tim, who bloomed an intense shade of pink at suddenly finding himself being fought over.

“Me?  A bully?  Wherever would you get that idea?”

Conner whistled innocently, while Cassandra observed the three in silence.  Tim shot her a pleading look to get him out of this predicament, thinking “free me” as hard as he could, but she simply smiled slightly.  Damnit, was she actually amused by his humiliation?

“Tim, don’t listen to what that mean ol’ brute says.”  Steph squished her mortified prize tightly, magnifying his discomfiture further as she stuck her tongue out at her opponent, who huffed in indignation.

“Please, if I were actually a bully, I’d do something like this.”

Without warning, he stooped to scoop up a clump of crystal flakes, flinging the freezing projectile at Stephanie, who screeched and released in order to defend herself.

“Why you-”

She laughed like a shriek as she shivered and shook the ice shavings out of her mane, crouching to collect ammo herself.  Packing heat – or rather coldness in this case – as she launched a quick counterattack. They began pelting each other gleefully with polar pellets, while Tim spectated uncertainly, wavering whether to break the battle up…  Until a wayward missile errantly missed its mark, instead splatting straight onto his face.

“…Ah.”

The combatants immobilized, glancing in nervous remorse at the unintended casualty, who stood there in complete shock for a moment.  Stephanie instantly flashed back to the water gun incident, and gulped apprehensively, afraid they might’ve made another mistake.  (At least she wasn’t entirely the one to blame this time.)

As before, Tim wordlessly wiped the wetness dripping down his cheek – before calmly bending down and gathering a lump to lob right back at his assailant.  Conner yelped as the unanticipated retaliation caught him by surprise, while Steph burst into an excited beam.

“Boo-yah!  Tim’s on my team!”

She eagerly declared as she aided her partner in an aggressive revenge, ruthlessly ganging up on their target as he raised his hands in a desperate attempt to shield himself.

“Hey, no fair!  Cass, help me!”

Fair?  They were up against a superhuman and a psychic, Tim privately thought to himself.  Although to be fair, Cassandra denied the other’s turn to beg for mercy, merely casting a lolling glimpse that quite plainly said: “You brought this on yourself, mister.  Now deal with the consequences.”  …As she simply sidestepped any stray shrapnel without choosing sides.

As they clobbered each other with clods of frost, people stopped and gawked at the infamous group of so-called “freaks” playing enthusiastically like little kids in the courtyard, but none of said shunned subjects even cared, too engrossed in their game to pay patronizing passersby any heed.  Tim could sense his self-consciousness slipping away as he pitched and dodged, slipping back into old practiced habits of evading punches and bullets.  The exhilaration he felt now was perhaps even more fulfilling though, without real risk of legitimate danger to his life or others’.  …When he witnessed Steph was right in the path of a sizeable snowball’s trajectory though, he dove on instinct, tackling directly to the ground.

He blinked as they abruptly found their features so very near to each other, flushed and respiring heavily from combined adrenaline and chill.  Rapidly beating hearts and heat of their bodies connecting through thick sugarcoated layers.  He could distinguish individual flecks of powder from the fluffy pile they had landed on dusting her long lashes as they fluttered up at her “hero”, feathery and fair. Complexion as rosy as her lips, waiting with bated breath.  Tim swallowed, before hastily rolling off.

“S- sorry.”

Stephanie sighed at the release of pressure, flopping back in familiar disappointment.  She soon started giggling though, and before long Tim joined her as they took a timeout to just lie there laughing for a minute. …And maybe after a while he’s laughing a little too loud and too long, but by God it felt good to let his happiness out uninhibited like this, after so many years of holding himself back.  He couldn’t remember the last time he had this much fun.

As soon as the chuckles subsided and they sat up though, Stephanie was startled by a sudden smack to her temple.  At first they both assumed it was a signal of resuming the bout, but for some reason the assault seemed a lot harsher and more painful than before.

“Ow!”

She cringed on contact. Tim’s pupils widened when he saw scarlet seeping down her forehead, staining the rich white beneath them. …Where a rock jutted out from the bank.

“Steph, you’re – you’re bleeding…”

She touched a finger to her brow in disbelief, stunned to discover drops of crimson come off on her tip. Tim spun around towards Conner, who immediately denied any involvement, shaking his head in equal horror.

“Tim, I swear to God, bud, it wasn’t me.”

Tim swerved and glared angrily at their surroundings, as every member in the audience awkwardly averted their gaze.  He grabbed the stone and stood up, grip so severe it stabbed into his own flesh.

“Who the fuck threw that?!”

He shouted at a volume high enough for the entire yard to hear, likely disturbing some of the classes where students were still testing as well.  He didn’t give a shit about that though, seething to the core.  Doubt darted in every whispering, snickering direction, until his vision landed on their other comrade, who remained oddly mute even in this situation.  His perception narrowed.  She didn’t look guilty per se (and he refused to believe she would ever dare renege on her pledge to never do anything to harm Steph), but something about her shifty, shrinking appearance told him she was definitely hiding something.

“…You know who did it, don’t you?  You can tell.”

Cassandra bit her lip, declining to answer.  Tim stalked towards her, seizing her shoulders roughly as he demanded a response.

“Tell me who it was – right now.”

“I…”

She winced at the strength of his clutch, cowering under his looming fury. Conner’s own lion rage awakened as he lunged forth to fasten around Tim’s wrist like a vice, violently pulling him away with a far greater force.

“Oi, get away from her!”  He barked as he twisted Tim around, locking both limbs in a firm hold.  “You need to cool it.”

Tim’s view darkened with a grim pall, as he lowered to avoid meeting the larger male’s lecturing look.

“Let go of me, Conner.”

He growled, glowering defiantly.

“And what’ll you do if I release you?  Supposing you do find out the culprit?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”  Tim’s irises flared dangerously.  “I’ll beat ‘em to a bloody pulp.”

“And then what?  Get your ass suspended again?  Kicked out? Lose your scholarship?”  Conner hissed in a cruel, but concerned tone. “Stop and think for a damn second, will you?”

Tim scowled, but eventually his fist uncoiled.  Conner loosened a little, relaxing as Tim’s appendage obediently descended.  Stephanie spoke up softly.

“It’s all right, guys.  I’m okay, really…”

There was liquid leaking through her cupped palm though, and Tim bristled again, but Conner clamped him down, resolutely shaking his head.

“Let it go, Tim.  Let’s just get her to the infirmary.”

Conner offered his hand to help her up, while Tim looked on uselessly. He eluded Steph’s perspective as he stuffed his own empty paws into his pockets.

“You guys go on ahead,” he muttered.  “I’m gonna… go cool off.”

“Tim?  Wait, where are you going?”

Stephanie strove to stop him, struggling against Conner’s support, but Tim had already taken off, escaping towards the dormitories.  When he reached his room, he slumped against the entry, sinking to the floor with his own cranium cradled in his hands.  Reflecting back on his confrontation with Cassandra, for even though she hadn’t acknowledged anything aloud, he could still hear the reluctant reply resounding inside his brain:

…They had been aiming for you.

“Goddamnit!”

He revolved and pounded his knuckles into the wall, not caring if he caused any damage to either it or himself.  Another voice murmured mildly beside his ear, smooth and satiated by the display of outright hostility.  Insanity.  Delightedly feeding on such delicious despair and self-loathing.

Now you see what happens when you get close to others?  Let this be a lesson to you, JJ.  Don’t you get it?  You’re a blight, diseased.  A dirty, perverted curse that contaminates, taints every single thing you touch – nothing but a burden, who brings suffering to everyone around you.  A monster just like me.

“Get.  Out.  Of. My.  Head.”

Tim screamed as he slammed his skull against the partition to try and get it to shut up, and when that didn’t work, he hurled himself onto the bed, trying to cover his crown with the pillow. Of course it didn’t succeed in suppressing the scalding speech either though, slowly consuming, corroding his corrupted soul from the inside out.

You’re toxic.  Don’t forget that.  Your existence is poison – pure and simple.  I’m the only one who can withstand it.  You don’t need them.  Nor do you belong with them.  Come back to me, my darling.  Daddy will make it all better, I promise…

“Leave.  Me.  ALONE!”

Tim yelled at the top of his lungs as he chucked the cushion at his hallucination, who only hovered out of the way and cackled.  The boy buried his visage into the sheets, smothering his polluted presence, shoulders shuddering as he began to laugh like crazy again – until he cried.

…

Some time later, he heard a knock on the door as it creaked open cautiously. He didn’t elevate to look, but he knew Conner was standing there, taking in the pathetic sight of his flatmate flat on the mattress.

“Yo.”

He entered, closing the access behind him as he crossed over and sat down gently next to Tim.  After an uncomfortable gap, he cleared his throat.

“Cass reported the one who did it to the dean.  They won’t be coming back after break.  …She told me what happened.  It’s not your fault, man.”

“The hell it isn’t.”

Tim spat as he flipped over, sleeve still shrouding his inflamed eyes. At length he removed a fraction of fabric though to peek at the other boy’s back, inquiring fretfully:

“…How is she?”

“They’re treating her at the nurse’s office.  It’s not as bad as it looks.  She’ll be fine,” Conner reassured.  “She kept asking after you though.  She’s worried about you, bro.  …We all are.”

Tim said nothing, scrutinizing the ceiling.

“She wants to see you.”

“I don’t… deserve to see her.”  Tim choked, eyes welling up again.  “How can I face her like this?”

Conner’s countenance soured as he started to lose patience, resorting to somewhat stricter tactics in an effort to snap him out of it.

“Stop being a selfish prick. This isn’t about you.  It’s about what she needs.  And right now she needs you.  So stop feeling fucking sorry for yourself, get the fuck up, and go see your goddamn girlfriend before I fucking kick your ass.”

He snatched Tim’s collar as he said this, in order to prove he would make good on the threat if necessary, hoisting the sagging sad sack up and half-heaving him towards the exit.

“I’ll help you get started on packing, so go.  And don’t come back until you’ve apologized for leaving her alone.”

With that, he swung the doorway shut, bolting it determinedly behind Tim, who stood there dumbfounded in the hall as curious onlookers halted their own parting proceedings to goggle at him, gossiping in a susurrant hush.  Shuffling sheepishly, he complied to abide by the directive for now, advancing in the direction of the health center (recalling its location from when he himself had to be carried there following his “fainting spell”).

When he arrived at the entrance, he waffled for a long while, inhaling deeply before finally rotating the handle.  The clinical smell that greeted him made his stomach sick at first, but he shoved revulsion down and quietly asked the receptionist on staff as to the whereabouts of the patient he was seeking.  She smiled and pointed him towards a curtain in the rear.  Upon lifting it back, he encountered Stephanie propped up on a cot, dome swathed in bandages in a manner that rather resembled his own injured image shortly after they first “met”.  She relieved visibly upon recognizing the visitor.

“Tim!  Thank God you’re here.  I was beginning to get bored out of my friggin’ mind.  Can you believe they’re making me stay in a bed while they run some tests?  It’s just a tiny cut, c’mon.  Plus it’s the last day of school before winter vacation.  We should be out celebrating right now.”

She bounced restlessly on the bedding, as Tim absorbed the ruby dye soaking through her dressing.  He clenched his fist in crushing shame and repentance.

“I think… maybe we should stop seeing each other.”

She stiffened sharply, fixing him with a flabbergasted gape.

“…What?  Just now, that was… a joke, right?  You’re not serious?”

He regarded her with a grave grimace.  Confusion and dejection distressed her chest at such curt rejection.

“Tim Drake, are you actually breaking up with me?”

“Yes.  Let’s break up.”

There was zero emotion in his tenor, as her own lips quivered, tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

“But…  But why?”

Tim exhaled as he spouted was probably the most cliché line in the history of bad breakups, but he didn’t really care about circumventing social pitfalls right now.

“It’s not you, it’s me.  I mean it. Nothing… good can come of being with me. I’ll only end up dragging you down.”

“Tim, don’t say that…”

“You got hurt because of me.  Besides, I… can’t do anything to make you happy.  Believe me, you’d be a whole lot better off without me in your life.”

“Tim…”

She tried to extend towards his hand, but he backed away.

“I’m sorry.”

He turned and fled before she could react, leaving her bewildered and brokenhearted beyond belief.  His own breast ached as it felt like something within him had shattered – shred into pieces once again.  Whatever light had been reignited was now eclipsed, extinguished by his own hand.  He should have known better, never tried to chase it in the first place.  Having been burned once before, only an utter fool would run right back into the flames.

…This is for the best.

For both of them.

…

It didn’t take long for Tim to realize he couldn’t well return to the residence hall without invoking his roommate’s wrath, so he was stuck outside for the time being.  Wandering back to the quad, he massaged his mitts together and blew out a puff of condensation, briefly wishing he still had some actual smokes on him right now.

Parking himself beneath the shadow of a barren tree, he idly surveyed the scene of classmates bidding goodbye before heading home for the holidays.  Some were being picked up by their parents, and his intestines constricted a tad more as the swarm of “normies” joyfully received their relatives whom they hadn’t seen in so long with hugs and ecstatic chatter.  He felt filthy – a black and ugly beetle, insignificant insect – petty and out of place compared to these bright, carefree families.  So Hallmark picture-perfect against a pristine postcard background, shining silver and gold.

Acquiring a fallen branch, he started to scratch absently at the slush, doodling a nostalgic depiction in the dirt.  Gradually, the symbol of a bat took shape – and beside it, a crude carving of two beings in capes – one big, one small.  He stared sullenly at the sketch for a minute, before striking the stick simultaneously through both stick figures’ axes in an “X”.

“Tim?”

He jumped, and hurriedly scraped over the rest of the illustration with his heel as he whirled around to face his… well, he supposed “ex” would indeed be the proper term to describe her now.

“Steph?  What are you doing here?”

“I managed to convince them to let me go.  Wanted to catch you before you left at least.”

She fumbled with a parcel in her hands.

“I know it’s kinda early, but… I wanted to give you your Christmas present. Didn’t want it to just go to waste, after I worked so hard on it and all.”

She fished inside the bag, and retrieved a folded red scarf.  It looked a little lumpy and misshapen, clearly clumsily homemade rather than a commercial product.

“Mom’s been teaching me how to knit.  It’s my first time making one, so it’s not very good, but I hope you’ll still wear it, and… think of me sometimes.  I guess now you could consider it something to remember me by?”

Tim remained reticent as she unraveled the muffler and draped it around his nape, tucking it tenderly so it was snug.  She reviewed her handiwork, nodding in admiring approval.

“As I thought.  You look good in red.”

Tim tugged the textile, fingering each fiber that was filled with such fondness – feeling his own thawing heartstrings being tugged at – torn.

“Why… would you go to all this trouble – for someone like me?”

She smiled.

“Isn’t it obvious?  It’s because I love you.”

…

“Eh?”

It took a bit for the statement to sink in, and the cloth’s color seemed to creep up his mug as the significance of the confession belatedly registered. She took his trembling skin in hers, keeping it cozy as his now cherished neck was.

“Plus I wanted to pay you back for letting me borrow your jacket,” she half-kidded, concealing her own blush behind blithe humor.

He shook his head.

“This is… too good for me.  You’re too good for me.  You shouldn’t have wasted your time…”

“Tim, how many times do I have to tell you?”  She squeezed his palm, praying he’d actually listen to – believe her for once.  Believe in himself. “You’re so much better than you think you are.  You’re kind, sweet, and caring – you’re not like any other guy I’ve dated before.  I like you for you, no matter what you or anyone else says.  If other people can’t see that, then to hell with all of them.”

He held her resolve for a long interval, before shyly expressing regret over his actions.

“Steph, I-”

She put a pointer to his lips before he could progress.

“Sh.  You’re forgiven.  Now let us never speak of splitting up over something minor like this again.”

Softening, she added:

“As for what I said before, you don’t need to answer me back right away. We don’t have to rush into anything if you’re not ready for it yet.  I’m happy so long as you’re happy.  As long as we’re together, that’s good enough for me.”

She boosted onto her boots’ toes to provide him an affectionate side-peck, sniggering as his cherry virtue exposed further at the gesture.  Yup, red really was his hue, it seemed.  …It suited him (more than he’d ever care – dare – to admit).

She started to separate, but he grasped back, bowing profoundly towards her as if to an angel.

“What… did I ever do to deserve you?”

He beseeched sincerely for a sign – that it was really okay for him to accept this much adoration from someone.

“Who knows,” she teased with a smug shrug, basking indulgently in flattering worship as she winked.  “Maybe it’s karma from a past life or something.”

Patting his hair like a puppy, she dotingly brushed off some sunken pearl beads from the strands – like a laurel of tinsel to match her own heavenly halo; planting another precious token on top in pardoned blessing – a starry seraph ornament – before bidding him rise.  As they strolled back to the quarters together, limbs still linked together in open broadcast of their bond, Steph piped up with another proposal.

“By the way, I wanted to ask you something else: I was wondering…  Do you want to come spend Christmas at my place? I already invited Cass to stay overnight on Christmas Eve, and Conner said he’d come too if you would.  Can you imagine it, both of them said they don’t have any plans this year, and that their folks were out of town.  I mean, what’s up with that?”  She shook her head.  “Christmas is supposed to be a time for people to spend together.  No one should have to be alone during the holidays.”

For the fleetest of seconds, an impression intruded on Tim’s conscience; of a solitary man holed up all by himself in a huge, vacant manor atop an isolated hill, hunched by the fireplace with a glass of brandy in hand, longing wistfully at his mother’s and father’s memorial portrait overlooking the mantle.  He urged it aside though, and smiled appreciatively at the offer.

“I’d love to.”  A nagging notion occurred however, as he agonized over accommodations on her behalf. “…Can your house really fit that many people though?”

She put on a persevering aura, pumping her fist.

“We’ll make it work somehow.  Worst comes to worst, we’ll just have to share some beds.”

He arrested in alarm at what she just said, as the implications dawned on both of them.  Steph swiftly endeavored to clarify, flailing and failing miserably.

“Uh, I mean, Cass and I can share a bed, of course!  I wasn’t insinuating anything else by it…”

The tables had reversed now as Tim snorted at her chagrin, and she grinned as well, goading his arm.  Clinging around it, she nuzzled up intimately against his shoulder, both marveling at the broad sky as it started to shed sparkling glitter again.  Safely cocooned by both her company and the gift she had granted him, there was no space left for someone else to come between; waking, walking nightmare to worm its way into his warmed spirit.

…And, for the first time in a long time, what he feels isn’t fear anymore – at allowing a new stranger into his narrowly confined world once again.  Chip through frigid barriers and sculpture’s solid shell in order to stir up the dormant globe – revive its stalled clock, frozen in stasis for so long.  Finally melting an age of presumed permafrost; nudging, encouraging cold feet to steadily begin moving forward again.

…

It’s hope.

————————–

Well keep it in mind I'm not as stable or able To use all my guts and turn over the tables Or open the door and stare the monster between the eyes But the times have turned and burned a hole in this heart Confronted the face of what tore my life apart And I'll start by living every moment like it was my last

[romanoffsbish]

I just noticed I made it over 2,000 followers, and I want to say thank you to everyone who’s found my blog of interest in the past six months since I started moving my fics over from Wattpad where I first write them.

The number is honestly a really cool feat, but I also do take into consideration that this has been my same Tumblr since I graduated high school in 2014. So I don’t know where I started before I rebranded the blog for fics.

This blog actually used to be dedicated to the Psych🍍fandom, and also worked at taking my innocence with the sporadic p*rn posts. 😂

Jesus.. I’ve written 105 fics, and 58 Chapter’s in a completed story all since October 2021, most of which surpassing the 2k word mark. 😳

You’d think I had no life, but really I do a lot(I swear to it), I just don’t sleep that much, and have the free time while at work to write.

I’ve been keeping y’all “fed”, maybe not always the most scrumptious of food, but damn that sure is a lot. It was about damn time I turned my daydreaming into something palpable. 😂

Anywho, thank you from the bottom of my heart to anyone who has read my stories, and engaged in anyway. Whether it be through a like, a reblog, or the amazing commentary, you’re all very much appreciated.

To the handful of friends I’ve made along the way, thank you as well for engaging with me, and all the support you continue to show me.

This almost comes off like a goodbye, but it most definitely isn’t, I just wanted to express my appreciation. ❤️❤️❤️

If anyone wants to send in a request, I’d be more than willing to write them, but it’ll just be after I finish writing about four part 2’s lol. I tagged this will all the characters I write for, and though I mostly write for fem!readers I am also open to writing for gn!reader from time to time.

Also here’s a virtual hug ❤️

[80s4life]

The Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing

Word Count: 4,438

Status: Not Requested

Fandom: Back To The Future 1985

Relationship: Biff Tannen x Female Reader

Summary: As time is altered for a total of 2 weeks (I extended it slightly), you and Marty struggle to get his parents under control, having problem after the next. But, when an unexpected solution occurs, you find yourself willingly okay with it, soon finding the exact reason as to why.

Warnings: language, fluff, Biff being a dick, slight angst, cute Biff

Masterlist Back To The Future Masterlist

Prompts: (from this list @youneedsomeprompts​)

Y/C/S= Your Choice of Sport/ Your Chosen Sport (you don’t have to honestly play one, just choose one you like or one that comes to mind)

{gif and prompts are not mine, gif credits go to @backtothefuturemovies and credits were given above for prompts!}

No one ever said time travel was fun. No one ever said the job was easy. And no one sure as hell told you the consequences that come with it. Well, at least not before you, and your best friend, Marty McFly, had gone dead-on through a barn, sacred a neighboring family of ‘alien invasion,’ run into younger McFly parents, and altered time just enough to fuck you over for a few days.

I mean, who would’ve guessed right? Your mom just so happens to be romantically interested in you, their child. Well, that was at least in Marty’s case. For you, you had just managed to run into the biggest dickhead of the century, Biff Tannen. Or so you thought?

Making your way out of bed, you automatically go to where Marty was sleeping in the garage, waking him along with Doc up. The go-to plan for the day was to go undercover as usual students in the 50′s, secretly following Marty’s parents around, finding out where they lie in this part of time, and try to find ways into manipulating them together once more in time for Marty and you to get back home. Easy enough, right?

Groaning, Marty goes to slap your hands away weakly, mumbling something along the lines of ‘Just a few more minutes.’ You giggle slapping his hands back in an attempt to wake him up cheerily. Mornings weren’t really your forte either, so any upbeat wake-up is better than a pissy, tired, horrible morning. 

Doc, on the other hand, was happy to return the affection, getting out of bed to give a quick hug and kiss to the forehead. Then he makes his way over to the bed, going to tickle Marty’s feet as you go to tickle his sides. Finally, in a fit of laughter, Marty gets up and goes straight for the bathroom. You were going to argue him, having to use the bathroom first, but decide to just leave it be, heading for the makeshift kitchen instead.

You smile fondly as Doc and Marty play around a while later, wrestling about, cracking jokes. It was only just a few hours ago that you and Marty had witnessed the untimely death of the currently very lively man in the house. Witnessing the blood loss, the machine gun in action, and the bullets that whizzed pass with only one malicious intent: to kill. But he’s here now; he’s safe and sound, having many years until that date will arrive.

With the freshly cooked smell of eggs, toast, and pancakes, the boys straighten up, Doc clearing his throat in an attempt to organize himself, and Marty leaving his shirt ruffled as he follows the smell of deliciousness. You giggle as both men of different ages act exactly the same, piling their plates high and digging in, giving thanks through mouthfuls.

///LATER///

After breakfast had finished, you and Marty made your way to the school, not wanting to be late, and, quite frankly, not wanting to miss a second in the disaster we’re in, wanting to fix it as soon as possible. Upon entering, the building erupts in laughter, tears, screaming, perfume, cologne, aftershave, and lots and lots of both testosterone and estrogen. Fucking high school, you smile.

Going to “your locker” right besides “Marty’s,” you both place the books and supplies that are unneeded inside it and take only the things you need for the first two classes, somehow having those together. As Marty catches glimpse of his father, George McFly, he winks at you, moving to catch up to him. Rolling your eyes playfully, you turn back towards your locker, just barely missing a group of young men some ways down the hallway, locking eyes with a particularly taller man, towering almost everyone in the halls.

You pay no mind, however, being blindsided by three girls your age. Instantly, you recognize the one right in front as Lorraine, Marty’s mother. Smiling nervously, your cheeks tint only a little, being unprepared to see her so quickly, not yet having a plan made up on how you could help tackle the situation with Marty.

“Hiya! I’ve never seen you before, are you new here? I’m Lorraine Baines, and you are?” she asks cheerfully, her books clasped tightly to her chest.

Taking an obnoxiously long time staring dumbfounded, you finally realize you haven’t spoken, quickly recovering with newfound purpose and confidence, “Ah, yes! I am new here! Sorry, I’m just trying to get used to this place a tiny bit. I’m Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Well that’s quite alright, you can come with us!” she says once more in a cheery tone, taking you by the arm and lacing her arm around yours, locked elbows. You smiled, knowing exactly where Marty’s cheerful and people-person nature had come from. Walking down the halls, she had asked for my schedule, checking classes to see what we had together, “English, History, and Agriculture- Hey! You should try out for cheer leading!” 

Shaking your head lightly, “Nah, I’m more of a Y/C/S myself to be frank.”

“But...We don’t have that sport here? There are no girls sports at all actually...” Lorraine says confused. You go to cover it up, choosing to say it was a sport you play for fun at home, in the backyard. However, a beefy arm separates you momentarily from her, as the owner of the harm moves to pin her to the lockers.

You were going to walk away, figuring it was some sort of make-out session in the works, but upon looking at her before going, you notice that the man was absurdly unwanted. 

“Get your meathooks off me Biff!” she screams at the man, his huge form towering her much smaller one. Not taking the message, the pair continue to squabble, neither of them being successful in winning. The warning bell sounds over the halls and classrooms, alarming kids to get their asses moving, but it seems whoever this dick is, he feels he is greater than the school, and god forbid, knowledge.

“Hey, you do realize your not making a damn bit a difference, right? She’s not interested! And, quite frankly, it seems as if no one does! Now, if you don’t mind, could you please be kind enough to unhand her as some of us treasure a piece of mind and how to take a hint?” you finish, quite ticked off as the last bell warns, cursing under your breath as you already know your in for detention on the first day.

It finally seems that he’d caught a grip, thankfully, letting go of Lorraine’s arm and she quickly scurries out of his proximity, taking your hand to lead you to the class you both needed to be in. As you go to walk in, you are stopped by the teacher, scolding both you and Lorraine. Looking at her regrettably, she smiles defeated. So you decide to do what’s right, take the fall.

“I’m sorry sir, I didn’t know where to go as I was trying to find where all of my classes were before I ended up lost every time classes switch. I caught up to Lorraine here at some point, and as she was hurrying to this class, she was kind enough to show me where I needed to be,” you finish, sighing guiltily.

“Well, as you’ve taken acknowledgment to your mistake, then you’d be just as happy with detention. After school, on Friday, as the first week is extremely busy. As for you, Miss Baines, thank you for your help. You are off the hook for now,” the older gentleman finishes, nodding to each of you personally before turning around and beginning just one of the classes you’d have today. This is going to be fun!

///LATER///

Finally, after grueling hours of just a few of your classes, lunchtime had came round, giving you a slight break. Catching sight of Lorraine, you smile and wave, going in the direction of Marty, or Calvin Klein, as you’d heard Lorraine go on and on about. You’d known it was him the second she’d said it, the brand not yet known to man yet; or at least in this timeline, it wasn’t.

As time had went on, it was only natural for the peace to be broken, as a newly familiar face was starting to appear more and more, Biff Tannen, as you’d known his name by now. But, instead of heading towards Lorraine, he makes his way over to the table you were residing with George and Marty, sitting himself right beside you. 

At first, you were trying to ignore him, knowing his presence was there, but keeping your eyes trained on either Marty or George, eyes dancing between the two. Biff, being the everlasting child he was, tried to catch you attention, trying stupid ass things after the other: kicking your shins, pulling your ears of hair, flicking your head, and even trying to tug on the 50′s style dress you’d been forced to wear to play your part. 

Only when he goes to tug your hair once more is when you finally snap, turning a furious glare to the hulking figure beside you, shoving his shoulder in a feeble attempt to create distance. He giggles at this, his body not moving an inch at all. “You can’t be serious right now! You don’t know when to quit it, do you?!” you scream, fed up with his shit.

“Well, if you’d give me the human decency of turning your head when I’m trying to talk to you, then I wouldn’t have to pester you, now would I?” he asks in a teasing tone, no doubt taunting you, but all you do is stare him down, getting lost in a staring contest, daring him to say something again. “Alls I wanted to say was that we have detention together. Just thought I’d let you know since you got me in all that trouble this morning.”  

“Why you-!” And with that, he gets up with a shit-eating grin plastered to his face, prancing out of view and back to the table he and his gang usually sit. Watching the whole interaction, George smirks at Marty, the pair giving an unspoken mutual agreement to whatever they had both caught on to, bursting into fits of laughter moments later. 

“You have a longer tolerance than I do, I-I-I’ll tell you that much,” George says, his usual slight stutter back in place, Marty laughing once more. As George joins in again, you couldn’t fight it either, giving into the childish antics.

///LATER///

To say your week had gotten any better than the first day was a lie. It hadn’t gotten any better, and your meetings with Biff at lunch had only gotten all the more common and all the more infuriating. He’d made it his duty to agitate you in any ways possible, even resulting in whispering something nagging in your ear when you weren’t paying attention, usually doing something in your locker.

Either way, he was on the countdown to Friday, it being constantly on his mind, mentally counting down the days, hours, minutes, and even seconds until the two of you were locked in a room alone.

Unfortunately, that day had seemed to come way faster than you’d like, Friday rolling around quite quickly. School had finished, and you were making your way to the front office, awaiting a tiring 2 hours with only yourself and Biff as company for the time being. You hadn’t known where the room was, and instead of spending time looking for it, you gave up and looked for the office instead, the nice front desk lady leading you where you needed to go.

Upon entering the room, there was Biff in his prime, casually spread across his chair, legs crossed atop his desk nearest the windows. Sighing, you ignore him, deciding to sit on the opposite side of him, the front desk lady giving you a sympathetic smile before she closes the door behind her. You look at the wall, head turned away from him like the plague.

You knew it’d only last so long until he’d speak, the time coming way faster than you pleased. Given it was Friday, you couldn’t even do homework or even study in order to block him out as he started to blabber, running his mouth over stupid shit once more. Inhaling through your nose, and exhaling through your mouth slowly, you straighten in your seat, hands clutching the desk so tight, your fists turned white. 

“Biff, Sweetheart, Baby, Doll Face, Hun. Please. PLEASE. Shut up for five god damn seconds. I know you truly have nothing to say, so why do you insist on speaking so much?” you finally say, hands prying off the desk to turn in his direction exasperated. 

“Well, if you’d just talk to me, Shortcake, I wouldn’t have much to say at random,” he answers, copying your actions and posture. With this change in childish demeanor, you give in, laughing at him in an unexpected rush, running your hands through your hair tiredly. 

Although you hadn’t seen it, he’d smiled in satisfaction upon seeing you laugh, the glitter in your eyes much more captivating than it ever was when he looked at Lorraine. He hadn’t barely pestered her since you’d barreled into his life. It was weird, but he welcomed it with open arms. And for the first time, he learned what it was like to have an actual, clammy-handed, closed throat, warm, cheek-tinted, teenage crush. A crush that left his heartbeat loud and fast, breathing ragged and uneven, and his behavior out of character and out of his control. Lorraine was way under whatever level he’d placed you on, holding you up on a pedestal like you were the sun or sky.

Of course, you hadn’t taken notice to his antics, just thinking he was annoying. Just Biff being his notorious self. But, as you finally calm your breathing down, the giggles fading, you decide to give him a chance, knowing that sitting in silence is just going bore you. Smiling warmly, you say, “So what do you want to talk about then?” 

///LATER///

Grabbing your bag, you get out of your seat, giggling at a story Biff had told you. He follows your lead as well, getting his own as he lets out a bark of laughter at a certain part. You guys looked like idiots as you shoved each other down the halls, making your way out of the school as your detention had came to a close. Sighing as the warm sun radiated on your skin with the light, spring breeze, you stretch out any kinks the classroom chairs and desks had left. Biff watched you intently, your small body easily swallowed by his shadow beside you.

The sun was setting and it was getting late, although you weren’t concerned. The boys knew you wouldn’t be home ‘til late due to the detention you had initially despised. Now, you and Biff were side by side, walking peacefully to his car in the school’s parking lot. For once, he was quiet, great company to have. It was something else for sure, but you enjoyed it. As you came up towards Doc’s place, you’d realized that Biff had drove you home like a gentleman, too lost in the conversation to notice earlier on. 

Sheepishly, you itch the back of your neck, realizing your mistake and feeling guilty for making him walk all this way to now have to walk all the way home. “Ah- Sorry...I didn’t realize I’d dragged you all the way out here. Now you have to drive all the way back.”

“It’s no problem, really. I liked it. It’s nice to talk to someone other than the guys every now and then. And to have A female speak to me instead of screaming,” he answers, now being the one who is a bit shy.

“You do know that you bring that on yourself right?” you say teasingly, now leaning your head on your hands, propped up on the passenger side door. “Not every girl would want to kick you in the groin if you showed a little more respect, “ you finish off with a smile.

“Yeah...Yeah I know. I’ll try harder, I swear.”

“That’s all I ask,” you say with a wink, drumming your hands on the door as you take a step back, waving as you start walking down Doc’s driveway.

“Hey!” Biff calls from the car, stopping you in your tracks to turn around, facing him with a smile. “Uhm- Well- The Enchantment Under the Sea Dance is coming up next week...Would you mind being my date?” he asks, stuttering as he feels his cheeks heat up, nervous as hell.

“I’d love to!” you answer, turning back around to walk into the house. Biff does a little fist bump as he puts the car back in gear, excited for what is to come.

///

Marty was a little less than amused with this newfound knowledge once entering the door and going over the events of the day. It was only when Doc had suggested that the date with Biff would keep him away from Lorraine, giving George the freeway to attract her long enough for their True Love’s Kiss. Then, and only then, did Marty give the okay, shaking his head, but liking the fact that it’ll give George some time, being the nerd that you know and love.

///Enchantment Under the Sea Dance///

Checking yourself over in the mirror for the final time, you let out a nervous yet satisfied sigh, feeling like an absolute princess. You never minded dresses too much, although you couldn’t deny the fact that normal pair of shorts, jeans, or even leggings were your first choice. All that mattered was that you liked the dress you were wearing, it fit you; it was your favorite color, length, and strap(less) type to hold everything in.

Walking out, you grab the pair of heels to match, knowing that you couldn’t get away with sneakers in this generation, painfully grimacing at the reminder. Finally standing, you recount when you had gotten the dress just a few days ago, having gone with Lorraine and the her two friends, Babs and Betty. They were very endearing and supportive the whole time, you not having to worry about being “to picky” as they were just the same. You ended up loving the dress given that you’d taken the time without pressure.

As you walked into the main room of the garage, you heard a low whistle of Marty, Doc slapping him on the back of the head for it. Giggling, you curtsy and spin in the dress. Doc, the gentleman he always was, compliments you, “You look amazing, my dear. Let’s hope this boy deserves it, hmm?” 

As an answer, you hug him tightly, knowing that, by the end of the night, he will be nothing but a dead man at home, in a lonely, dark parking lot. Your eyes tear up just at the mere thought of it, clutching him tighter. Marty seems to be on the same wavelength, going to interrupt the moment with great urgency, trying to pass him a piece of paper.

“Marty, if this has anything that involves my future, do not. And I repeat, DO NOT try to hand it to me. Whatever happens, happens young man. That’s how the world works,” he says in a warning tone. You wanted to disagree, but you knew the truth that was laced beneath it, as if it was a punishment. You whimper instead, pulling him in tighter; Marty looking down in defeat, soon switching to anger. In the midst of it, he storms out of the garage, getting in the car to go pick up who you’d hope was Lorraine for the dance.

“Just let him go...” you start, sadness evident, “He’s just not very happy with the outcome of what the future has in store for you. Quite frankly, neither am I.”

“I’m sure whatever the outcome is, that I wanted to go with it, dear. I assure you, I’m fine,” Doc answers in a consoling tone, wiping the tears that had slipped from your eyes. You knew it was just a mask, no one wants death, but you knew he needed to go no matter how much you hated it. So you nod, not having to say much more as a honk sounds from outside.

“That’s Biff...” 

“Have a great time! Make sure the McFlys kiss!” Doc screams, following out of the garage, scolding Biff from behind you.

“Yes sir!” you scream back, saluting him as you take a seat in the passenger.

///

“You look beautiful Y/N,” Biff says after a while, finally working up the courage to speak.

“Thank you Biff. And you look handsome yourself,” you giggle, the car pulling into the lot. 

He shuts the engine, grabbing his keys from the ignition and closing the door, making his way around to you as you let yourself out to straighten yourself out. He takes your hand as he leads you to the entrance of the dance, you sighing in relief as you catch a glimpse of Marty pulling up in a car with Lorraine. Finally, you relax, grasping on Biff a little lighter and with more meaning now as you have the night to yourselves. He smiles down at you as you wrap your arm within his, something Lorraine does with you quite often.

With the party in full blast, you let loose with the music, dancing and joking around with Biff. At some point, however, he says he needs a drink and will be right back. Although, he doesn’t seem to actually come back. You’d thought you’d seen him spiking the punch just as few moments ago.

Just as you were going to in the direction of the hallways to the rest of the school, you notice Match, one of Biff’s friends, storming out of the gym through an exit. Taking your bets, you follow behind him, soon being greeted by a huge commotion of screams, all of them from familiar people. Biff was in a car with Lorraine, her dress pulled and taken off in parts. He was no doubt about to do something stupid, the fact pissing you off, saddening you in some ways as well.

The others that were screaming were also George and Marty, the pair trying to get Biff to stop before he regrets it. He doesn’t listen, unfortunately, until your voice booms over the rest, “Biff!” 

His head snaps instantly in your direction, the situation dawning on him the instant he looks at your face. You hadn’t meant to portray your emotions so clearly, but your face had shown such distraught and hurt. He lied. He had gotten over Lorraine, yet the moment she was alone, he runs right back to her.

With his momentary change of focus, George finally steps in, “You get your filthy hands off of her!” finishing with a blow to the jaw that knocks Biff off balance. 

Marty looks to you sadly, but tries to smile in cheers as George and Lorraine leave together, motioning that he was going to follow them just in case. You nod, looking down now as your play with your fingers. You didn’t know what to do now as the only reason you were really here was for Biff. You weren’t needed for Lorraine and George, you knew Marty had it.

You decide to make your way home then, as there was nothing else you could do. Dances were just drags anyway, nothing worth while. “Your just going to leave? Just like that?” asks a deep voice, his body having gotten back off the pavement and stood by the car he was pinned against.

Without turning, you answer his question with another, “Why not? There’s nothing left here for me is there?”

“And why wouldn’t there be?” Biff asks once more, no doubt ticking you off at his usual teasing tone.

“Well, let’s see. You. You asked me to the dance as your plus one. I came here as your date. We have a good time, we dance, we talk, and then you come up with an ‘Oh I need a drink’ charade, not returning. Then, I come to find my date in the parking lot, about to get his licks in on a woman he was apparently over with! So tell me, what is left here for men here, Biff?” you finish, tears pooling your eyes over the time, although you don’t let the fall, keeping them there.

He looks guilty, you can see it, but you don’t care. Your not in the wrong this time. But, as your blood starts to cool down, you do notice the look in his eyes, the change in his demeanor, and the utter remorse that has overcome him. He has his head down, fists clenched at his sides, body stock still. He doesn’t know what to do, all he knows is that he’d fucked up.

“Or was this your fabulous way of telling me that you love me?” you finally ask, eyes moving to look up at him in a teasing manner.

He hadn’t expected you to speak, head snapping up to meet your gaze in confusion. Being as you’d looked at him with a glint in your eyes, he finally lets everything click together; you’d forgiven him. His face heats up in bashfulness however, as your words resonated within him as well, hand going to itch the back of his neck again.

You giggle, walking up to him now, hands going to his collar. Pulling him down, he gazes at you in amazement, his own hands falling to rest on your waist. Then, you crash your lips to his, pulling him ever closer. It takes him a moment to get the hang of it, soon pulling you closer to himself as well. Lifting you slightly, he sets you on the hood of his car, the height difference a definite stretch for him. But he wouldn’t have it any other way, you were perfect. Just the same as he was perfect for you.

[maximoff-pan]

Just Faking It? | Peter Maximoff x Reader

Summary: When you and Peter enter a fake relationship, what does that do to your friendship? Can you keep yourself from breaking the one rule you set? Do not fall in love. Can he?

Character: Peter Maximoff x Fem!Reader

Fandom: X-Men

Word Count: 2.9k 

A/n: It’s been a hot minute since I posted, but online school has been Kicking. My, Ass. AnyWAy....I am back now! I’m really nervous to post this and I knowwww the ending is trash but it just kept getting worse so (please bear with me). Hopefully my writing will get better. Despite my shitty scribe, I hope you can enjoy this, and maybe, even possibly like it???

Comments and feedback are also very much appreciated! A girl needs inspiration to write (if ya know, ya know).... 

You’re minding your business (in your room mind you) when your door flies open, and in comes a flurry of grey. As quickly as the door is opened, it’s slammed shut. You know exactly who the culprit is, that part is particularly evident to you, but what puzzles you is the absence of a reason for his dramatic entrance. It’s like he thinks you can read his mind or something....(you can, but that’s besides the point). That’s not really what you’re supposed to be using your mutation for and Peter knows that.

“I really fucked up.” He eventually breathes. But it leaves you with more questions than answers.

You tilt your head towards him, squinting your eyes as if to challenge a response from him. So?” You ask.

“What the fuck do you mean?” Widening his eyes, he appears in a minor panic. “I come rushing in here, telling you that I fucked up, and your only response is: ‘so?’”

“Peter, if I had a dollar for every time you told me you fucked up, I’d certainly be the richest telepath in this mansion, and Charles owns this damn place.”

He cranes his neck in frustration, a sigh falling from his lips. “Well this time, I really fucking mean it.”

He’s fidgeting a lot more than usual, and when you glance at him, his eyes dart from yours. If you know anything about Peter, and you like to think you know almost everything about him, you know that based on the way he’s acting, that he didn’t just fuck something up for himself, he’s also fucked something up for you.

Disappointed, but not at all surprised, you ask, “What did you do? And how does it involve me?”

*****

Peter Maximoff has always had a way with words. No matter what he says...nor how fast he says he it, he can always manage to get you to do whatever he wants. Sure, to the average person Peter may be incessantly annoying, but to you, he is overly charming. He’s always just been so....perfect...for a lack of a better term.

And it’s not like you haven’t tried to bury those feelings. You really really have. But every time you’re near each other, your heart beats a little bit faster and your eyes just fixate on him. He draws you in with his infectiously upbeat, care free - who gives a shit it’s the end of the world, let’s just have fun - kinda vibes. It’s intoxicating as fuck....and so, extremely bad for you. But it’s what you need. You actually need him.

So unfortunately (maybe fortunately...it really depends on the day), Peter Maximoff has you whipped like the fucking whiplash he’s always warning you about...and whether he knows that or not is the real question. You hope to God he doesn’t; you’ve tried so damn hard to hide it. It....Them...Your feelings....And this is the trickiest part. You’re not sure when you came to this realization, but: You’re in love with your best friend.....

And honestly....shit...what the fuck feelings??? That is not a good revelation to be having. That’s never a good revelation to be having. And that’s for many fucking reasons, including but not limited to:

He’s your best friend

He’s your best friend

He’s your best friend

Did you mention he’s your best friend? Did you?

To top it all off, your anxiety about what is justifiably a crapshoot of a situation (being in love with your best friend is no cake walk friends...don’t try this at home) has risen ten-fucking-fold. Because you’d do anything for him.

And that’s how you’ve gotten yourself into the inescapable shit storm you have now: fake dating Peter Maximoff....

Look, in all respects, it could be worse. You’re not really sure how, but that’s just what you’re telling yourself to make this whole thing feel a little better. Damn you and being a good friend...You should’ve just said no. But how could you have possibly said it without giving yourself away?

‘Sorry Peter, I’m too busy being in love with you to be your fake girlfriend. Maybe later.’

You just couldn’t do it to him. He needed your help, and there was just no way you could say no to him. He’s your biggest weakness yet your greatest joy in life. He’s your kryptonite.

*****

Peter feels like shit. He thought dating you would be the best thing in the entire fucking universe....and it is. Except for the fact that it’s not real.

When Scott and Jean had called bullshit on Peter for telling them he in fact, does have a girlfriend, (when he really, really doesn’t), he panicked. So he told them the name of the first person he thinks of, the first person he always thinks of: you.

If Peter’s being honest with himsef, the whole conversation was stupid to begin with, and he should’ve just kept his mouth shut. But Peter lives for laughter, particularly making his friends laugh, even sometimes at the expense of a couple of his other friends.

It started off as a slow bit of teasing, and Peter was getting laughs fromJubilee and Kurt, who were both quite enjoying his little comedy fest. Peter in his carefree manner, jabbed joke after joke about Scott being whipped by Jean, mocking their incessant pda and need to be around each other, when Scott threw it back at him.

“Have you ever even had a girlfriend Maximoff?”

And that’s when Peter fucked up.

That’s when he proceeded to say: “Fuck you Summers. If you must know, I have a girlfriend.”

I have a girlfriend...present tense. Which is nothing but a lie. A blatant, blatant lie. But it just slipped out of his mouth, and while Scott and Jean both called bullshit, he couldn’t back down at that point. It was far too late, and would be far too embarrassing to try and weave himself out of the web he had created. So he told them he was dating you, which...fair. You already act like you’re dating 99% of the time, and you are in love with each other (not that either of you knows the other’s feelings on the matter), so it would seem very believable....But the big problem with this blurting of words (as Peter had called it later), laid in the fact that Peter had to do this without your consent. You had no idea nor a choice in being brought into this, and that’s why Peter feels like he’s fucked up so much.

Because as much as he wants to date you, and as much as he loves dating you (even though it’s all pretend), he can’t help but fear that you resent him for bringing you into his problems. If you do resent it, you’re doing a pretty damn good job of hiding it. Every person that has passed by you, the news of your relationship spreading fast, has told you: it was only a matter of time. And then they’d smirk at you, seemingly proud that they had predicted this all along.

And yet, it’s all fake, and all your classmates and teachers, (except Charles...because he knows the both of you too well and honestly is too fed up with your shenanigans to intervene), are wrong. They’re being fooled...but Peter can’t help but wonder if he’s the one being fooled. Because it feels so real. Too real.

*****

He holds your hand in the halls, swinging your arm back and forth teasingly, telling himself that he’s only keeping up appearances, and yet his whole aura brightens. Peter’s not acting, and the fact that you are genuinely scares him. Because you’re so believable, and it hurts so much to have you, but to know it’s all a lie.

“I guess I owe it to you Maximoff.” Scott sneaks in between you two, breaking not only your hands apart, but popping the blissful bubble you had been in. “I’ve never seen two people so right for each other.”

The smile drops from Peter’s face, but like always, you’re there to save him. “I know.” You send Scott a sly grin. “You never should have doubted us.”

Us, Peter thinks. He knows you mean it, in the sense that you’re best friends, but it only hurts him more. The frown on his face tightens, as he attempts to avoid your gaze. He can feel you pulling him into your side, wrapping your arms around him. This action snaps an automatic response, and his lips pull into a soft smile, his face relaxing.

“Never will again.” Scott smiles fondly at the two of you, seemingly genuinely happy for you.

You place a kiss on Peter’s cheek, nearly grazing the corner of his mouth, and in that moment he wants you to kiss him, for real this time. It’s an urge he’s had before, but never as innate as this.

On instinct, he turns your body so that you’re facing him, and he kisses you. It’s instantaneous and it feels so so right. Your initial shock fades away and you lean into the kiss, your arms gracefully resting on Peter’s shoulders, slowly wrapping loosely around his neck. You raise onto the tips of your toes, desperately yearning for more. It feels like a tidal wave washing over you, soaking you in a plethora of feelings.

This has to be something, you think. What you have...it must mean something. Because you can feel his energy, his thoughts and desperations pouring into your mind. His exact thoughts are blurred, but you can feel the emotions that are flooding through.

“Jeez. Message sent.” Scott mumbles with a slight joking tone in his voice. “I’ll never make that mistake again.”

By the time you let each other go, Scott is retreating down the hallway, and you stare sheepishly at each other, both of you wondering: what the fuck was that?

*****

Nearly half an hour later, you’re once again sitting on your bed, when Peter comes barging through your door. A strong sense of déjà vu washes over you, your eyes quickly darting to his. To Peter, that half an hour feels like multiple. You should have remembered that his internal clock works a lot differently than yours.

The expression on his face is pained. “I’m sorry.” He blurts out. “I know I fucked up.”

“Peter-“ you try to interject, but it’s no use.

“I don’t know what I was thinking (Y/n). I just...I didn’t mean to. It was a mistake and I didn’t mean to drag you into my shit...”

It was a mistake. Your heart drops. You could have sworn that there was something between you, that it wasn’t as one sided as you had once thought.

“Do you regret it?” You’re trying to convey a front on neutrality, but it feels like it’s faltering.

“Of course.” He replies, and your heart shatters further.

“Oh.”

Your voice sounds so dejected that Peter has to rewind the tone of your ‘oh’ in his mind. Did you think it meant something? Did it mean to you as much as it means to him?

“(Y/n).” His eyebrows raise in conflict. “I didn’t mean-“

“It’s alright Pete...I understand.” You’re warm with him. You think he’s just turned you down, and you’re being so kind to him, trying to make it easier for him. Little do you know about the war he’s fighting in his mind. Just how much he wants to tell you how he feels. “It was silly of me to even entertain that it meant anything.”

But it did! But it does! He wants so badly to say, but the words won’t come out of his mouth. Blurting words before he could think of the repercussions was what had gotten him into this situation, and now that he needs to blurt what he’s thinking, his mouth can’t seem to move.

You can see the look on his face. He feels guilty. He doesn’t want to hurt you. It was foolish of you to say yes to him, to being his fake girlfriend, when you knew this would happen.

“Peter, I’m sorry.” You’re really trying to demonstrate to him how much you hope this hasn’t ruined your relationship. “It’s okay. I’m so okay, as long as we can still be friends.”

“No!” That’s the one fucking word that Peter is able to get out of his mouth? No?

Your eyes drop to the floor, and you avoid his gaze. Just a few days earlier Peter had been talking about just how much he’d fucked up, now you guess it’s you who’s the one that fucked up.

“Oh.”

And there’s that dejected ‘oh’ again that has Peter reeling. “That’s not what I meant!” He pushes the words out.

You’re becoming more and more flustered, embarrassed, and confused by the moment. “I don’t know what you want from me Pete! Just be fucking straight with me. That’s all I ask.”

Your frustration is understandable and Peter knows it...does he ever. He’s thinking, trying to get the words to come out when an idea comes to him, and he finally is able to calmly state: “Read my mind.”

Now this is a complicated statement for a number of reasons. The first reason is quite simple. When you became friends, you and Peter had made a set of rules, promising to always be open with each other, and to never use your powers on each other. And that was Peter’s biggest rule: never read my mind. Now he’s telling you to, pleading you to, because it’s the only way he can tell you how he feels. His thoughts could never lie to you, they could never hide from you if you didn’t want them to.

And second, breaking that rule would mean breaking that promise. It goes against the very foundation of your friendship, and so for Peter to ask this of you, it must mean that he has something very important to say. You’re just not sure you’re brave enough to hear it...

“Peter,” you question, tilting your head in absolute confusion, as if to say to him, are you sure?

“Read my mind.” He affirms. A look of panic crosses your features, and when he sees the distressed you are, he nods gently. “It’s okay. I promise. You can do it.”

You nod your head, signaling to him that you’re going to do it. “Okay.” You say timidly, entering the complex of his mind.

You’re flooded with memories of the two of you together, laughing and beaming with happiness. Pushing through the visuals, you reach his thoughts, allowing your mind to hear them clearly. After years of blocking them out instinctively, it feels so foreign to open that door.

‘I love you.’ It’s Peter’s voice in your mind. It’s unmistakable, yet so surreal that you almost miss what he says...almost. ‘I’m in love with you.’

Your eyes blink open in shock, pulling yourself so suddenly out of his mind, the door to his thoughts slamming shut once again. He’s watching you patiently, waiting for your response. But Peter’s never really been one for waiting.

“I never wanted it to be fake you know.” He breaks the silence for you. “If I had known just how hard it would be to fake our relationship, I never would have thought of saying your name in the first place.”

A chuckle of relief bubbles from your throat. “You better not be fucking with me...”

“I’d never do that.” He says.

“I beg to differ.” You joke, eyes staring softly into his. “The amount of times you’ve fucked with me on shit is insurmountable.”

“Hmm.” He grins menacingly. “And yet, I’ve never fucked you.” He raises one eyebrow in a mockingly seductive manner. Only Peter would make a sex joke to lessen the tension...or to ruin what would’ve been a perfectly romantic moment....you’re not really sure which.

You nearly choke on your own laugh. “Already jumping to third base Pete? Last time I checked, you were only on first.”

“That’s cause I’m so fucking fast baby.” His wink sends you into an internal conflict. and you don’t know if it’s really funny, or really hot. His eyes are pouring into yours, as if daring you to just kiss him...

...So you do. Your arms fly up to wrap around his neck as you pull Peter’s lips onto yours. He melts into your embrace almost instantly, a giggle bubbling in your mouth as he moves his hands up from your waist.

He pulls away with a dumbstruck smile on his face, his silver hair flopping in all directions. “I want to make this real.” He places a hand softly on your cheek.

“I do too.” You reply, hopefully.

His eyes soften at the sight of you. “Be my girlfriend? For real this time?”

“For real this time.” You nod, a grin stretching across your face.

And it’s truly the most at peace you’ve ever felt in your life. Which will probably last all of five seconds before Peter comes running back to you, telling you he’s fucked something up again, but that doesn’t matter to you, as long as you have each other.

“Maybe, for once in my life,” Peter’s voice is low and calm, “I didn’t fuck something up.”

Maybe for once in his life, Peter Maximoff had gotten something right...

*****

Tags:

@idjitdestiel @what-the-stories-have-foretold @lucyqueenofthestars @justsomerandomjunk @cherikxstucky @scorpionchild81

[fallingsunflower]

Sorry can you tell me what you don’t like he’s doing? The Olivia thing be or something else? And I’m sorry the fandom isn’t a safe place for you anymore 😔 I hope it does get better

I’ve been getting weird vibes from Harry for a while now, since before holivia. It would be unfair to say that that’s why I’m unhappy with him because I can’t pinpoint and exact reason but that was part of it.

In general I’ve been kind of fed up with his allusiveness. He doesn’t translate well on social media in comparison to how he does in real life. He also lacks communication which is frustrating, and that applies to multiple things (with his fans, in interviews etc). It’s like he doesn’t have a personality, which is also unfair to say - I know that - but sometimes that’s how I perceive him. Not all the time, which is why I’m still a fan, but it’s been becoming the norm for him. I think his team is pushing the mysterious sex god rockstar/pop star image on him and I’m not here for it. He’s also incredibly overexposed right now which is beyond annoying imo.

Honestly I could probably look past all that though if Olivia wasn’t in the picture. I mean, given all the shit she’s done and said, I just can’t BELIEVE Harry associates himself with that. It skeeves me out because what does that say about Harry? I could only hope he was blind sighted when he agreed to the stunt and now he’s contractually bound but obviously I have no way of knowing if that’s true or not.

I think one of the worst things, though, is Harry’s fandom. And I don’t mean you guys but I mean the newer fans specifically who ship him and Olivia together. For some reason they’re the worst of the worst. I’m sure it’s not all of them but y’all have to see some of the stuff they say about me in my inbox. I’ll probably get shit just for mentioning it here. I’ve gotten made fun of for my weight and race when no one even knows what I look like. I’ve been called all sorts of things like desperate and pathetic. I’ve been told to k*ll myself. And the way they say it is so abusive. I wouldn’t say Harry’s enabling the behavior but I also wouldn’t say he’s helping it either. Either or it’s not a fandom I really want to be a part of.

And just to be clear, I still like Harry and am a fan of his. I know people question that but it’s true. I’ve grown up with him. I like his music. I can kind of see past all the Hollywood bullshit and I like the person he is underneath it. I also see a little bit of myself in him so I resonate with that. I just want to see him make it out of this mess alive though, and then I might step back.

I hope this made sense. I tried to word it in such a way so you know I don’t hate Harry but I don’t really like how he’s changing. Hopefully it came out okay

[scuttling]

Hesitation

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Latina OFC Sophie Cortes Word Count: 1,294 Tags: SFW, Pre-relationship, Pining, Supportive Aaron, TW mention of police brutality Summary: Sophie hesitates, and Aaron helps talk her through it. Collection: Sophie Cortes timeline, 7-12 Months at the BAU (See Masterlist for reading order) Link to AO3 or read below! Sophie is at the bureau gym, beating the ever-loving fuck out of a hanging bag, when she realizes she’s not alone. It only takes a moment, and a faint whiff of cologne, light and crisp and clean, to realize who’s joined her, and though she’d usually smile, all she does is sigh.

“Who told you I was down here? Morgan, probably, he’s always in my business,” she mutters. Hotch steps past her, still wearing his suit, sans jacket, and holds the bag steady while she punches, knees, and kicks it.

“It was Reid, actually. He was concerned that you were being hard on yourself after what happened earlier.”

“And if I am? Why should any of you care?” she asks, gritting her teeth, even though she knows exactly what he’ll say—and that he’s right.

“Because we’re a team. A family. We care about you.”

“I care about you guys, too, and today…” She stops, takes a deep breath, brushes a stray hair out of her face. “I hesitated, and it could have gotten someone hurt.”

“It happens to everyone at least once; honestly, you’re overdue.”

“I am not the type of person to hesitate, Hotch. I know what that can do in our line of work, I know what that can mean.” She’s been sick to her stomach with guilt since she got on the jet, her adrenaline leaving her as fast as it came; she couldn’t even close her eyes without seeing Reid hurt, or Hotch, or the kid.

“Good. Then you need to accept that it happened and be more aware of your emotional state in this situation next time. There’s no need to be so hard on yourself.” She shakes her head, goes back to work on the bag though her hands are throbbing.

“Being hard on yourself is how you get tough, how you keep from making the same mistakes again.” She knees the bag a few times, somehow angrier than before. “So I should be hard on myself. And you should be punishing me.” She stops, feels herself deflating emotionally and physically. She wipes at her eyes with her wrist, and she knows tears are welling up, but she can’t stop them. “Punish me, Hotch.”

“No,” he tells her, voice soft, steady. His hands come up, wrap around her wrists, and she sobs, a sad and broken thing; he pulls her to his chest, then, strong arms holding her, letting her cry, and she breaks down in a way she hasn’t in almost a decade.

“He could have been my brother,” she says through sniffles, and he strokes her hair, keeping her close. “He looked just like my little brother, and I didn’t want to see another brown kid die at the hands of police when I thought I could talk him down.”

“I know, I know.” It’s all he says, all he needs to say, and she stays there in that safe space for a few minutes before pulling away.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have dumped all that on you.” His eyes are soft, sincere, and he takes her face in his hands.

“I want to be here for you.” He swipes his thumbs under her eyes, tenderly brushing away her tears, and her heart skips a beat.

A moment later, his phone rings, and though he’s looking like he’s willing to ignore it, she knows how against the grain it goes. “You can take that. I won’t run off.” He looks into her eyes for a long moment before pulling it from his pocket and answering with his name.

“Yes, I’m with her now. She’s doing alright. Nothing I think a few slices of pizza won’t fix; do you want to come with us? We’ll pick you up. Okay, see you in five.” He ends the call and she is smiling when he turns back to face her, despite how dry and red her eyes feel.

“Pizza with my two favorites? Shh, don’t tell the others,” she teases, grabbing her duffle, and he puts an arm around her shoulders as they walk out.

“If you think the others don’t know we’re your favorites, you seriously underestimate them.”

She grabs a quick shower, and they pick up Spencer and head to the by-the-slice pizza shop near the office; her partner bumps companionably against her shoulder in the booth beside her, and she smiles at him, feeling better than she has all day.

Though she still feels she messed up in the field, she also feels compassion for herself after what Hotch said at the gym. She knows she holds herself to a high standard, that she always will, but now that she has the kindness and support that Hotch, Reid, and the rest of the team have shown her… some things might never be easy, but they will be easier.

“It’s been a while since we ordered, I’ll go check on our food,” she offers, and she’s been standing at the counter for less than a minute when a man sidles up to her, closer than normal but overall nothing too threatening.

“I’ve noticed you in here once or twice—are you a fed?”

“Yes, I work for the FBI.”

“Hmm. That’s sexy. Do you carry a gun?” She looks over at him, runs her eyes over his facial features. He’s just a curious, gross guy, harmless, she decides, and she shrugs her shoulders.

“Sometimes. It’s not glamorous, believe me. Mostly paperwork.”

“Have you ever killed someone?”

“Is the food almost ready?” she hears Hotch ask, and even though she can handle a guy like this, she does feel more at ease knowing she has backup... or maybe it’s just because it’s Hotch behind her that she feels suddenly far less tense.

He puts a hand around her back, fingers on her hip pulling her closer, and apparently he’s pretending to be her boyfriend, now, which is… fine. So fine. Nothing to see here.

“Any minute,” she answers, leaning against the solid line of his body, seeing no harm in playing along. It feels a little better than it should, and she’ll probably try to analyze that at another time, but for now, after such a tumultuous day, she just lets herself be happy. “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

“You know I’d wait forever for you,” he says softly, pressing his nose against the top of her head, and she forgets herself, swoons a little.

The guy loses interest really damn quick, slinks back to his seat, and Sophie pulls away from Hotch, though she really doesn’t want to. His hand slides slowly off her hip. “Thanks for the save,” she murmurs, turning to look at him, and he looks like he wants to say something, but then their food is ready, and they carry it back to the table.

They eat, laugh, and when they’re done, he drops them off at the office; Sophie offers to drive Spencer home, and he thanks Hotch for the meal and runs in to grab his things. Sophie takes Hotch’s hand.

“Thank you, for… what you said at the gym, and for dinner, and everything.”

“I meant it,” he replies, squeezing her hand. “I’m here for you no matter what. Always.”

She knows that, which is one of many reasons she knows she has to tamp down on her little crush. If he found out, he would distance himself from her, and she would lose the careful, hesitant friendship that’s developed over the past year, and that would be worse than anything.

Spencer jogs out of the building, bags and coat in hand, and she pulls away, smiling at him. “Ready to go?” He nods, and she looks back up at Hotch. “Thanks again. See you tomorrow.”

“See you then.”

[janiedean]

I feel bad for all the nice J*nsa shippers who like their ship for whatever reasons (tropes, pretty art, aesthetic appeal, whatever) and know it's not canon but get associated with the misogynistic Dany hating crowd who act like Jon being attracted to Ygritte is J*nsa foreshadowing because red hair (I guess Jon should fuck Edmure Tully too? Omg give me Dark!Jon getting revenge on Catelyn by seducing her brother!) Tell me something. I'm new to the fandom but was J*nsa popular before the show? And I've heard something about the OG J*nsa shippers being alienated by the new shippers who insisted it had to be canon and acted like the series is called, "A song of J*nsa #danysux." I don't find that hard to believe because I know people who are now ashamed of calling themselves J*nsa shippers. Like, at this point, it's not only rival shippers who hate it. Even Gendrya/Braime/Jon stans/etc have started disliking that ship. You know your fandom is a problem when people who have nothing to do with Jnsa have a problem with it.

me: reads this ask

me: iwastheregandalf.gif which I can't find now but

okay anon buckle up because I am sadly well-equipped to answer this ask but before I do lemme tell you dark jon seducing edmure to take revenge on cat is LITERALLY THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD but *clears throat* ALL RIGHT THEN.

disclaimer: as anon says I have no issue with like the shippers mentioned by anon in the beginning and ngl I agree, I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO FUCKING STAKES in the j*nsa vs j*nerys war and the only het jon ship I gaf about is jon/ygritte and we all know where that ended up I just... have been here since 2011/adwd was over and all the fic around was just for the books under secret lj communities and asoiaf qualified for yuletide and I have... seen... things.... and I actually have like uh had... beef... with some people in there and I know things bc ppl who hated those others told me stuff so anyway *sigh* buckle up anon I'mma tell you the story of jon shipwars through the years

in order, the old gods help me here, under the cut bc this is long as fuck

when I got into fandom also given what numbers were on ao3 one ship was popular and it was sansan. no like sansan was lit. the only asoiaf ship on ao3 with more than 200 fics. jb had twenty when i checked first. jc had like around 100-ish because of the show but sansan dwarfed anything. I posted the first jon/ygritte fic on the ao3 tag and the fourth throbb fic and like the others were all reposts from lj kinkmemes. nothing was popular before the show except for sansan when it comes to huge numbers bc grrm doesn't like fic and it was all hush hush until the show made it impossible to control and that ship was the one with a huge enough fanbase it actually had numbers, so like... j*nsa wasn't popular in the way nothing else was popular until it got screentime on the show

now, that stated, j*nsa had a... fair amount of fic for a rareship which was mostly book-based and from og shippers that were there from before the show and liked it for what it was but literally none of them thought it was gonna be canon, like it wasn't huge or anything but it had a small but dedicated fanbase who did their own thing and thought it was fun/liked the idea but that was it

that fandom had their own niche of hcs that they cultivated and shit except that like... at the end of S5/beginning of S6 there was a surge in shipping for... well obvious reasons bc it was obv sansa was getting to the wall and that would have been all nice and good but a) it was the time puritanical shipping was starting to take root and the 'shipping sansa with sandor or tyrion is hella problematic' rhetoric had started to circle coming from sans*ery shippers mostly but I'mma not open that fucking can of worms here, b) while the ending of S5 had more of a theon/sansa spike, the j*nsa stuff started getting big

now here we have to mention my villain origin story ie: j*nsa fandom had this one stan whose name I won't make because honestly it's been years and if she's still around I don't want her to remember I exist who was a bnf, wrote for... the website that created the whole larry/carol thing etc who was really fixed on this thing that j*nsa was actually canon and started writing extremely popular meta about it. now you're gonna ask how do you know, I know because this person once wrote a meta named 'why robb stark is a dick' and I told her that it was really fucking bad meta and she took it so badly she kept on trash talking me on her blog/her podcast (I was apparently the insane robb stark fangirl l m a o good lord) and like that was when some sane ppl who argued with her informed me in pvt that she was basically harping on the CANON thing when they'd have been okay with like... it being crackshipping and that she was basically cultivating a hoarde of followers who were harping on them/the ogs and basically ostracizing them;

I would like to add that this person - before her tumblr got 'accidentally deleted' and remade it therefore deleted most receipts for, er, her so-called meta which included stuff like ned and cat raised sansa as a sexual object and only wanted to sell her like cattle - had at some point started a round robin fic thing where... some of the characters mocked openly said stuff that some of the og fans had said specifically targeting them and people in that side basically went harassing anyone who didn't agree with that specific notion

now never mind that this person basically coined an entire term to describe ppl who liked white guys and excused all their wrongdoings out of my conversation re robb basically lying about everything I said as if I didn't have the receipts and tried to sell shirts with it and it didn't work and like then she got kicked out of her own website because she was telling her commenters disagreeing pretty shitty insults (considering I was called psychotic for disagreeing with her that time I don't doubt it) I think at some point she stepped back from fandom bc idk wtf she's up to these days and I don't want to, but basically at that point the dam was broken and there was a bunch of puritanical shippers harping on anyone who didn't agree with j*nsa is canon endgame stuff

this also includes an incident when those ppl were like... passing themselves as throbb shippers and ended up trying to tell t*hramsay shippers off the theon tag based on moral reasons and I ended up arguing with all of them (and they were all from that crowd) which in turn landed me in contact with other og j*nsa shippers who were like detached from that fandom bc those same people harassed them away as well ssooooo fun

anyway when S6 happened everyone was high on it and whatnot but I wasn't gonna begrudge them that I mean... you shipped it for years, canon is delivering you, good for you, but then j*nerys happened

god j*nerys happened

aaand basically...... I mean personally I was there like are y'all seriously arguing about the best incest jon ship out there but like basically the j*nsa endgame side was like AH JON IS PLAYING DANY SEE IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, the j*nerys obv got defensive af and both sides were sort of alternatively shitting on jon/ygritte anyway and depicting any other romantic rship jon could have as abusive™ and during S8 it just got worse and like I tried to stay out of it but basically from what I'm seeing now idk how the j*neryses are doing but on the j*nsa one it's ah jon's gonna play dany anyway and she's going to go insane like in the show so SHOW TRUTHING EVERY OTHER WAY and like again denying that sandor exists or that tyrion exists and like I barely touch my corner (sansan) but I ended up arguing with j*nsa/th*nsa people on twitter who were antis and is2g it was white-hair inducing and I know for sure the sansa/tyrion shippers were harassed to hell and back throughout so FUN

and even if the show didn't go there now since everyone there banked on the jnsa endgame thing and admitting you're wrong is like... not a thing, they still haven't let go of it and attach to that ship any shred of evidence which honestly is grasping at straws half of the time (like... the sansa/alysanne parallels like guys please no) and which is why every other ship is starting to get fed up, attaching canon proof of stuff from other ships onto theirs see that batb argument and jb is platonic but jonsa is not nvm taking all the sansan stuff and throwing it on j*nsa but then denying that sansan has canon evidence (like guys I had to read sansa touching his shoulder when saying gregor wasn't a true knight wasn't meaningful and we were seeing things please) and blah blah blah

this also goes hand in hand with the fixation on like... villanizing dany at all costs and like is2g I have zero investment in dany or her storyline I don't even remember it and I don't particularly care abt her either way and sure af I'm not for j*nerys endgame but like.... some stuff I read is completely excessive esp when fixing on how she's a completely mad tyrant who's gonna have to be put down and like... guys no

(also there's some srs stannis hate in that corner which I honestly don't get why they even care abt stannis but I had to read stuff like ppl don't recognize that dany and stannis are the real villains in this saga and like........ idek)

I think most of the og shippers are gone or don't ship it openly bc they don't want to be attached to the drama but like I also think they're pissing off everyone else bc like... I mean a bunch of them also were down with sansa being paired with other ppl as long as it meant a good ending for her except those ppl were... like everyone but the ppl she has actual contact with in canon which meant that at some point sansa/gendry was a thing and like.... you can imagine why arya/gendry shippers & arya stans were fed up, and there's also this tendency to behave like sansa is the center of the entire saga which like these books is named a song of jon snow basically can we pls make peace with it and personally I've had it with both j*nsa and j*nerys people since they started with that dumbass JON/YGRITTE WAS AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP rhetoric but I'm also fed up with the total ignoring that sandor exists/depicting us as delusional and honestly I also was by proxy fed up from the harassing of the sansa/tyrion shippers soooooooooooo

there were also instances of 'well theon is an acceptable choice other than jon bc he can't threaten her' which... i mean we all know what that meant and I'm not even commenting it bc it's one AM and I have no force to but I don't have to explain why it's not a progressive take now do I

there were also metas about how cousin incest being legal in half of the world means that jondany is a worse incest and j*nsa doesn't count as such and I was basically there like guys please just fucking own up to it but honestly I chose to forgot where I read that and I couldn't find the link if I tried

tldr: no one wants to admit that it's not gonna be endgame which considering the amount of fic they have on ao3 is imvho useless bc they have more content than like.. anything I ship that's not jb or that's actually like canon *cries in joncon/rhaegar but I mean renly/loras is canon and has less fic than them* so idk what's the problem with enjoying that instead of insisting it's gonna be canon when not even the show validated it while show truthing anyway when the only show truthing that can be truthed is the small council made of minorities and possibly jon eventually fucking off with the wildlings but not like that but like most people who thought it wasn't gonna be endgame had left/were made to leave by the time S7 rolled by and at this point since wow isn't out yet everyone is fandom-grasping at straws to find stuff to discourse on and we're here beating dead horses *shrug*

so that's... how it is but I would again like to point out that I don't judge ppl on their shipping, I don't particularly care about this entire feud bc I only ship jon with ppl he's not related to in whichever way and I try to stay out of this mess bc I don't really care to argue with ppl who have already decided to bend canon to whatever they want and will have to realize that it's not what grrm wrote at some point but like I have a very good memory and the above rant is as objective as possible also bc again I don't literally have a stake in that race I just think romantic/endgame j*nsa is not a thing and that ppl should stay in their lane and not harping on other ppl who ship whatever in general but especially when their ship is the most popular thing in fandom in the first place /two cents

[emmelineparker308]

Father Dearest Part 7

Series Masterlist

Fandom: Harry Potter: Golden Trio Era

Pairing: Harry Potter x reader

Summary: Your third year at Hogwarts is about to start and with it come a lot of new changes. Harry, your best friend, and crush is in trouble from some man named Sirius Black. You try desperately to keep Harry safe but what happens when you find out some heartbreaking, mind-shattering information about your father?

Warnings: Angst, and suicidal ideations 

A/N: I want to thank everyone for the support and the love you have shown this series. I started it on a whim and didn’t realize that you all would like it this much. Thank you to everyone who’s been asking to get tagged, commenting, reblogging, liking, and sending me private messages. You guys are honestly my biggest motivation and inspiration to keep writing! Thank You genuinely from the bottom of my heart!

Previously on Father Dearest:  That night you decided that it was better to stop all the pain, all at once. You climbed up the Astronomy tower stairs, having to stop every two steps to catch your breath. Finally, you made it to the top and walked over to the balcony. Upon looking down you were terrified; it was a long way down. However, you knew you had to do it; you couldn’t go on like this. Everyone you loved either hated you or thought that you hated them. There was no going back, you closed your eyes tightly and threw yourself off the balcony.

Before you could jump two strong arms grabbed you and spun you away from the balcony. You fought to get the hands away from you but the more you fought the tighter the grasp held you. “Let me go Moony,” you cried.

“Not in a million years,” he answered. “I did not raise you, your mother did not die for you, your father did not fight for you, in order for you to throw yourself off a balcony.” You wailed although you had no tears left due to dehydration, you still let out a painful cry and before you knew it you passed out.

When you came to, you were laying in a nice warm bed. “You’re awake,” Moony exclaimed as he brought in a tray of all your favorite foods. “Eat,” he commanded but you only wrinkled your nose, your appetite still nonexistent. Moony took the spoon and force fed you a couple of things, and  as he cleaned you up, he chuckled.

“What’s so  funny?”

“You just reminded me of the times I had to feed you as a child. Once you stuffed everything I gave into your mouth and then sprayed it back at my face,” he laughed fondly at the memory.  

“Moony”

“Hmm”

“My dad didn’t kill Harry’s parents.”

Remus turned to face you, the facial expression that held joy a second ago was replaced by seriousness. “I am so sorry, my love.” You had opened your mouth to explain once again that your father was not capable of killing his best friend, but Moony placed a finger to your lips. “I am sorry because for thirteen years I’ve accused your father of a crime that he was incapable of committing. He loved me like his own brother and would have laid his life down for any of ours. I should have known better than to suspect him of this crime. He loved James more than anyone in the world. The evidence was just piled up against him that it blinded my eyes. However now I know who really betrayed Harry’s parents. I’m also sorry because I let you believe for years that your parents didn’t want you. The day I took you in, your mother, she walked up to my apartment in tears and gave me you. She made me promise to let you know that you were loved. She made me promise to raise you with all the luxuries that your parents would have provided for you. I was to love you as a mother and a father. I let her down, she made me promise all these as she breathed her last and I let her down.” Moony finished his monologue and faced you. Your eyes were filled with tears of joy and of sadness, you were so relieved that at least one person believed that your father was innocent. But upon hearing how guilty Moony felt you grabbed his arm and brought him into a soft, warm hug.

Once your sniffling went down, Moony forced you to drink some of his dreamless sleep potion. He claimed that for at least one night, you needed to rest without being haunted by nightmares. After you had taken the potion you laid awake for a while thinking about the events that took place this year. The year that started off on a sort of good news ended up with the man you were hopelessly in love with hating you, the people that you grew to hate for thirteen years being innocent of the crimes you accused them off, and you almost ending your life. Tears stung your eyes as you remembered all these things but before you could wallow in your lonesome Moony was by your side.

“Please don’t cry sweet child. You have cried enough for one lifetime. I promised your mother that I would never let you cry. Please don’t,” he whispered as he held you close to him.

“Can you tell me about them?” you drowsily state.

You heard Moony’s chuckle as he started telling you about your parents. “They were a troublesome duo. Your parents met during our first ride to Hogwarts. They were mischievous even then. Although back then they weren’t romantically involved. Your mother was such a great woman, kind, compassionate, as well as funny and brave. She stood for what she believed in and never once let anyone bully her into changing her view on anything. It was her third year when she found out about me being a werewolf. She held that secret close to heart, she would brew me all sorts of healing potions around the time of the full moon. Did I mention she was brilliant and beautiful? It was our fourth year that your father realized his true feelings for her. But like most teenagers they walked around their feelings for years. It was heartbreaking and nauseating at the same time. Your father was very handsome himself so you can imagine the effect he had on the girls at school. It used to drive your mum mad,” you could hear the smirk in his voice, “She once went after a girl who slipped a love potion into sirius’s cup with a bat. We caught her before she was able to hurt the girl, by the way. Then, our sixth year rolled around and it was as if everything changed. Sirius and your mother finally confessed their feelings for one another, Lily and James decided to give it a try. The darkness around us was brewing and perhaps because of that we all grew up fast. By the end of the seventh year James proposed to Lilly and Sirius proposed to your mum. We had a double wedding within weeks of graduation. And then a year or so later we were blessed with a god daughter, and god son.  

Hearing the happy stories of your parents and their friends, for the first time in months, you went to sleep with a smile on your face.

 ---------------------------------------------

“I told him,” Hermione said casually.

“You did what?” you almost screamed making Hermione jump a bit.

“I had to”

“’Mione the whole reason I told you was so that you’d stop bothering me, and you promised to keep it a secret,” you whisper yelled at her. You both were talking behind a hidden passageway, one that you were sure the boys knew nothing off. You started to notice that every time Hermione was cordial with you in public, the boys (mainly Harry) would be cold towards her. This, of course, lead to you insisting that you meet away from prying eyes. Hermione had laughed at the idea, saying that we are not lovers to meet in secret but at your insistence she caved.

“He needed to realize the impact his actions had on you,” she firmly said, and then took your hands in hers. “For Godric’s sake (Y/N/N), his words and actions made you want to end your life.” A tear had fallen from her eyes as she said this, it terrified her to even think about that night. To think about what would have happened if Lupin hadn’t gotten there on time.

“What did he say?” you asked letting curiosity get the better of you.

Hermione let out a deep breath, you almost told her to not say anything to you, not wanting to hear the cruel words you were sure Harry had said. “Honestly, he didn’t say anything. He stayed silent for a long time, so long that I thought someone had cast a Body Binding curse on him. Then, he just got up and left for his dormitory. Ron told me the next day that he hadn’t slept the whole night. Ron was sure he was crying, said he heard him sniffle all night. In the morning Harry said he wanted to find you and apologize. But since you don’t seem to ever be in the common room, and you appear and disappear so quickly during class times, he hasn’t gotten the chance.”

Hermione eyed your expressions; you were taken aback that Harry wanted to apologize. You were also kind of ashamed that you thought so lowly of him. “Well ‘Mione, if he really wanted to apologize, he would have found a way to get to me,” you responded.

“(Y/N/N) he stayed up all night two days ago hoping to see you sneak into the common room after everyone left. He didn’t believe me when I said that you haven’t slept in our dorm in weeks,” Hermione stated with a bit of curiosity hidden in her tone. Much to her disappointment you refused to answer the question that was hanging in the air, and reluctantly Hermione left to go to the Gryffindor Tower.

After the incident at the tower Moony didn’t want you out of his sight. And frankly speaking you didn’t want to be near the students either. Moony had someone (house elves) fetch your essentials from the girls dormitory and you moved into his quarters. You ate, slept and studied in there. You would go outside of that sanctuary only for classes and your daily visits to Hagrid and Blackie.

Ah, yes, poor Blackie. You felt bad because now that you moved into Remus’s room, your nightly cuddles with the beautiful dog stopped. Not only that, Blackie was subjected to listening to all of your feelings. You had tearfully mentioned to him about your field trip to the Astronomy Tower balcony, and he was crying in pain as well. That entire day he followed you around, granted you were walking around the edge of the forest, but still he refused to leave your side until it was time for you to eat dinner.  

--------------------------------

The visits to Hagrid’s hut were quiet depressing. He tried to be in good spirits but with Buckbeak’s sentencing and his professor job not going as greatly as he had hoped his mood was flat almost all the time now.

“Hagrid, why don’t you sit?” you asked the friendly giant of a man. He was bustling around his hut, trying to seem busy so that you weren’t able to see his tears.

“Nah (Y/N/N), I got to make ‘ou a cuppa tea,” he muttered out, trying to speak in a low voice so you wouldn’t detect his voice breaking due to pain.

“No, Rubeus Hagrid, I am commanding you to sit down,” you forcefully state as you pull at him. Your force was no match to the half- giant, you knew that but Hagrid obliged anyways. “Now you sit, and I’m going to make you a cuppa tea.” You got to work on the tea, and at first it was a bit hard, Hagrid’s pots and pans were made for him, it was quite heavy for a normal human to pick up. But soon you had a nice cup of tea poured out for him, and as he was enjoying that you whisked your wand and cleaned around his hut.

“Ya know I coudda done ‘hat,” Hagrid protested.

“Ah, you see Hagrid that’s the beauty of having people care for you,” you sass “they do things for you, even though you are very well capable of doing them yourself, because they like you.”

Hagrid smiled and looked at you for a minute. “You’r so much like your mother.”

His eyes and yours widened at this statement. “I shouldn’t said ‘hat. I should not have said ‘hat,” he fussed.

“It’s okay Hagrid,” you reassured him. “I know about my parents.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, I found out that day at Hogsmeade. And just so you know, no matter what you believe, my father did not betray the Potters. He could never,” you tearfully state and before Hagrid could say anything you ran out of his hut.

“ (Y/N/N), wait,” you heard a voice call from behind you. Though the owner of that voice hasn’t spoken to you in months, it was still one that you would recognize anywhere. Hearing his voice only made your steps increase in speed, you were upset and crying, you were vulnerable, and this was not a form you wanted him to see you in. “(Y/N/N) please,” you heard the desperation in his voice as he was closing in on you. You felt silly, running away from him like this, when you spent weeks and months hoping this would happen.

“Please,” Harry stated as his hand grabbed hold of your wrist and brought you to his chest. He held you there for a minute, tears coming from his eyes, and yours. The scent of vanilla and pine cones filled your senses, once again filling you with the calmness you desperately needed. But the calmness left you as the events of the past months flooded your vision. You ripped yourself out of his grasp. Tears of anger and hurt flowed freely.

“What do you want Harry? What do you want now? You think that an apology is going to make everything better? You cut me out of your life, isolated me and made me feel like I was nothing to you. You were hurt, I get that, Merlin’s beard do I get that. I know you better than I know myself, and for a second I let myself think that you knew me better than anyone else. But that’s not true, I hurt for months, for months, I was crying out in excruciating pain and you did nothing. In fact, you did a little more than nothing, you added to the pain. I’m not blaming you for my decision to end my life, that was a spur of the moment, dumb decision that I made. But Harry, hearing you say that I would kill you, sent me over the edge. You know that I would gladly take the killing curse for you, jump in front of anything harming you, but then you still said those words. What was I supposed to do? How was I supposed to feel?”

You fell to the ground as your monologue left you exhausted, and you sobbed into your hands. Harry, who was dumbfounded at your outburst, fell next to you. He cautiously held you, thinking that maybe you’d not want him to touch you. But when you didn’t move away, he held onto you tighter as he sobbed alongside you. After what seemed to be eons, he cupped your face with his hands and made you face him. “I’m so so sorry. I was hurt and instead of facing my sadness and reality I decided to punish you for something you had no control over. I am so sorry. I never meant any of the words I said and now more than ever I feel like an idiot. I can’t even imagine what would have happened if Lupin hadn’t been there that night. And to think it was from what I said, from the way I’ve been treating you. You tried so hard to talk to me, to reach out. You’ve always been there for me and  the one time you needed me I just left you, added to your pain. I’m sorry (Y/N/N) and I know that my words can never make up for how I made you feel. If you want to never speak to me again or hit me or jinx me I understand.”

You sobbed into his chest. You both knew that Harry Potter could do the worst things imaginable and still have the place in your heart reserved for him intact. His apology is all you needed. It was all you were craving, his attention, his touch, his support, and reassurance. It’s all you needed to feel like yourself again.

“If you ever hurt me again Harry Potter, I will jinx you into another dimension,” you sniffle out.

“Never again,” he promised in tears. He brought your face closer to his and without waiting brought your lips to  connect with his. You imagined your first kiss to be firework filled, but it was a different feeling. You were filled with warmth but also safety. You felt safe even though you were standing by the forbidden forest in the middle of the night. With Harry’s arms wrapped around you and his lips on yours, you felt the safest you’ve ever felt in your life.

Taglist: @missmulti​​ @may-machin​ @magicalaquarian​ @junkersandroadies-son​ @prongsyy​ @cute-but-weirdo​ @lozzybowe​ @minecraftlover444​ @selmeuuh @play-morezeppelin​ @ilovespideyyy​ @wecouldbreakthedistance @whothefuckstolemykeds​ @short-potato​ @lovestomanyfandoms @loser-lover​ @must-be-a-weasley-92​pepelachanel    @lozzybowe​ @writingmi @lovestomanyfandoms​ @amanda-rotigliano​ @sir-lili​

[ramblingkat]

May 3. The Vampire

Been looking forward to this one. Hope you enjoy. 

Fandom: Bleach(is that any surprise at this point?)

Pairing/Characters: Urahara Kisuke/Kurosaki Ichigo(or this part?), Tsukabishi Tessai

Honestly, this was one of the last things Ichigo expected to walk in on. Given that this was Kisuke he was talking about, that was saying something. But Ichigo knew that his imagination was no match for the sheer -weirdness- that Kisuke could get into. The man’s mad scientist vibes were simply too strong for any other result.

Still, seeing him and Tessai sitting together, Kisuke biting Tessai’s wrist, were never anywhere on the list.

It wasn’t anything sensual. Tessai was looking at a list of something, checking off things with one hand while Kisuke’s mouth was firmly set against the wrist of the other. Plus, he could tell that Kisuke was swallowing something. 

Ichigo had flashes of old movies he and Tatsuki used to watch. Old black and white films with Christopher Lee in them as Dracula. Because he couldn’t imagine what else Kisuke would be drinking from Tessai’s wrist.

It was obvious that they registered that he was there. Tessai had glanced at him, nodding slightly in greeting, and tension rolled across Kisuke’s shoulders. That, Ichigo recognized as the man’s guilty body language. It usually came up when Kisuke had dropped some of the nastier details of his history, when he was waiting for Ichigo’s judgement about those new aspects of his past.

Shaking his head, Ichigo finished stepping into the room, dropping his bag in the corner. Then he sat at the table as well, waiting for Kisuke to finish. He’d get his answers once the other was done. This was obviously the right thing to do as Tessai gave him a small smile, and Kisuke’s shoulders slowly relaxed when there were no demands coming at him. 

There was a soft sound as Kisuke’s jaw relaxed as well, and the blond pulled back away from Tessai’s wrist a bit. There was a flash of tongue against the dark skin, then Kisuke sat back and rested a hand on the bleeding marks. A faint glow for a moment, then he dropped his hand, leaving smooth skin behind it. 

“Thank you again, Tessai-san,” Kisuke said softly. He turned towards Ichigo, absently licking a streak of red off his lips, eyes narrowed as he studied Ichigo as much as Ichigo was studying him. 

Ichigo was quiet, though he grinned a bit as Tessai took his list and not so subtly fled the rood. Kisuke scowled after his friend for the abandonment. Then he looked at Ichigo again, hands folding against each other and resting in his lap. “So, how was your day, Kurosaki-san?”

“It’s been pretty good. Other than finding out my boyfriend is a vampire?”

Because at this point? Ichigo was willing to accept a lot of shit. He was just confused on how, since nobody else did anything like that. As far as he knew. Though the whole ‘hadn’t told Ichigo yet’ thing was a bit annoying.

“I’m not technically a vampire as most media would have it,” Kisuke protested. “Also, you have been watching far too many western films.” Ichigo gave him a look, and Kisuke sighed. “Therewasanexperimentthatwentwrong.” Those words were quick and quiet, almost a mumble. Then his voice picked back up to normal. “I don’t -have- to drink blood. But it does keep some unfortunate side effects from popping up.”

“I distinctly heard something about an experiment,” Ichigo pointed out, scowling a bit. 

Kisuke huffed at him. “It was long before you were even born. Yoruichi-san and Tessai-san have both already yelled at me for it.”

Brown eyes were full of humor as Ichigo held up a finger to stop Kisuke’s protest. “I don’t recall that being part of our deal,” Ichigo said, feeling a bit more relaxed. This was obviously something that had happened a while back, and he could understand why Kisuke was hesitant to tell him something like this. “If I recall correctly, if you tried to experiment on yourself, I had full permission to chew you out about it.”

Kisuke huffed at him. “Ah, you are so cruel to me.” 

Now the fan was out, spreading out and hiding Kisuke’s lower face. Ichigo felt something relax in him. Kisuke was playing now, and that was good. Worried Kisuke was serious Kisuke, and serious Kisuke made Ichigo want to fight something. Mostly because when he saw serious Kisuke, Ichigo had to go punch something in the face. 

He flashed a smile at Kisuke, then Ichigo leaned against the table, curious now. “Seriously, though, how does this work?” Ichigo wanted to know, because it was part of Kisuke. 

There was a long moment of quiet, and then Kisuke rolled his shoulders, fan snapping shut with a sound that would have made Ichigo jump if he wasn’t so used to it. Then he set it down, eyes fixed on Ichigo’s face. 

“Every few weeks, depending on how busy I have been, I sit down and drink my fill from Tessai-san. He’s the only one large enough to handle that sort of blood loss that was willing to donate.” Kisuke smiled faintly. “Occasionally Yoruichi-san also donates, but she’s not around as often as Tessai-san. So her visits rarely coincide with my need.”

“I could donate.” It was an automatic offer, but Ichigo meant it nonetheless. Kisuke was his boyfriend, and if he was going to suck on anyone, it was going to be Ichigo.

There was a chuckle from Kisuke, low and throaty. Ichigo blushed, but he didn’t take back his offer. Instead, he scowled. “Seriously,” Ichigo huffed, frown in full force at Kisuke’s laugh, even as he flushed over it. That particular tone did things. 

“I believe what you say,” the other admitted, smiling faintly as he looked at Ichigo. Kisuke hummed, and then perked up a bit. “Would you like to try now? I’ve just fed, so I wouldn’t take much. Better for you to see what would be involved now than when I am...less in control.”

His tone was a bit disgusted at the last part, but Ichigo ignored that. It wasn’t something he could change, Kisuke’s hatred of being out of control. Instead, he focused on the offer itself. 

Licking his lips, Ichigo nodded. “Yeah,” he said after a moment. “What do I…?”

He swallowed hard at the smile on Kisuke’s face. That look of utter delight and hunger made something squirm in his belly. It was utterly unfair that Kisuke could make him blush like this with just a look. 

“First, you have to get closer, Ichigo-san,” Kisuke said cheerfully. Back to first names. Ichigo was happy to hear that as he scooted around the table. Then Kisuke held out a hand, and Ichigo didn’t even need to be told to put his own hand out to rest there.

Another small smile, and Kisuke’s eyes locked with Ichigo’s as he pulled the younger man’s wrist to his mouth. Then he pressed a kiss where the pulse beat under the skin, humming softly. Ichigo felt his cheeks burn, but he couldn't look away. A roll of tongue against his skin was a little too familiar for comfort when they were in a room anyone could walk into. 

“Hope this isn’t how you act with Tessai,” he muttered, trying to find some way, any way, to dull his own reaction to what Kisuke was doing. 

Kisuke just chuckled, his thumb rubbing gently against Ichigo’s arm. Another roll of his tongue, and then he shifted his mouth. Instead of lips or a tease of a tongue, there was the edge of teeth. For a moment, Ichigo worried that Kisuke was going to have to tear through the skin with those dull human teeth. It would work, but it would hurt. 

Then something shifted, and it was a pinch, like a needle. Then he felt Kisuke’s tongue rolling against his skin again. But this time, it was less a tease to remind Ichigo of other things. No, this was purely to lap away the blood he could feel on his skin.

“It didn’t hurt,” he said, a little startled. There was a huff of laughter, as best Kisuke could do with his mouth full. But he didn’t pull back, hand supporting Ichigo’s arm against his mouth as the blond slowly lapped away at the blood, swallowing.

This…. It had definitely not been anything more than business as usual for Kisuke and Tessai. Now, the way that Kisuke looked at him, the way his thumb was still brushing against Ichigo’s skin, the curl of his tongue, this was a lot more intense than what Ichigo had seen before. He swallowed hard, flush only intensifying. That was not fair. Kisuke should not be so hot doing something like drinking blood. 

Sooner than he expected, Kisuke gave one final lap, and it was Ichigo’s turn to be healed. 

“That was….” He swallowed again as Kisuke leaned in and licked away the trace of blood left on his wrist. “Wow.”

Kisuke smiled at him. For a moment, it was soft, happy with the world. Then it shifted. 

“Ah, it was amazing that I could get some blood from your wrist. It all seems to be in your face.” Kisuke then obviously let his eyes drop to look downward. “Or in...other places.”

Ichigo threw a punch at his face, hissing. 

Okay, his boyfriend was a vampire. Sort of. Ichigo definitely needed to get more details on that. It was unexpected. Something Ichigo could learn to live with, though.

But he was still a giant asshole. 

[crossdressingdeath]

On the Lan Sect negativity:

1) The Lan Sect’s involvement was only at Discussion Conferences and the like - events they had to attend. No real choice, they had to go. But WWX mentions only the Jin Sect at Qiongqi path, and only the Jin and Jiang Sects at the siege.

WWX only mentions that WN might have hurt Lan Sect members when he went wild at his execution with WQ - and it should be noted that the Lan Sect let LWJ argue on behalf on the Wens. They had the power to stop him, but they didn’t. At the Nightless City, WWX seemed to attack everyone with no mercy or distinction between friend or foe. Of course they’re worried when LWJ disappears with him. But LXC specifically points out that he wanted to do it secretly, so it wasn’t a Lan Sect siding with the Jin Sect thing.

Yeah, there was the Second Siege... but the Jin Sect had “proof” that WWX had killed innocent people and had kidnapped Sect heirs and junior disciples. Not great proof, but ya know. And the Lan Sect was one of the first ones willing to listen to WWX.

2) We don’t know what went on with LWJ’s mother. We don’t know much about who she killed, why she killed them or anything. The fandom likes to paint her as this helpless victim but we don’t know if she was. We don’t even know if she was in love with her husband or not. You can speculate. You can headcanon. But you can’t know. It sucks, but it is what it is.

3) We see in the extras that it’s perfectly normal for Sect members to interact with someone of the opposite biological sex. WWX sees and talks to a female disciple, who was heading to feed the rabbits. And, actually, it seems that the separation only happened recently, as WWX’s parents met at CR. CSSR met JFM at CR. And it seems like a lot of the parents were there as well. It’s probably a tradition for Sect heirs to go. I wonder what could have happened with the past generation that could have caused the Lan Sect to decide “You know what, let’s seperate them”? That sounds like a great idea for a crack fic, honestly...

Anyway, the gossiping rule is only there to discourage the spread of misinformation. Considering that one of the main themes in the novel is the dangers of taking gossip at face value without looking into it, I don’t think that’s a rule we’re meant to find oppressive.

4) Where does it say that the “no talking to WWX” rule is written on the wall? I’ve only seen it in fics. And rereading the extra it was introduced in... hmm, not there... maybe translation differences? Or maybe it’s an exaggeration? Either way, this rule is clearly not taken seriously as WWX is allowed to teach the junior disciples. Without LWJ present even. This is shown in two seperate extras. So, unless we assume that the Lan Sect is too dumb to realize that WWX and the juniors all disappearing at the same time has a connection, we can assume that he’s probably allowed to teach them. And it’s very hard for a teacher to teach without communication with students.

5) Yeah, the Lan Sect has plenty of rules, but the rules are clearly dealt with differently depending on what they are, and the circumstances they are broken in. Like the rule against fighting - that is clearly fine to break if you’re fighting to defend someone or something. The rules against noise and running? Perfectly fine to break if there is an emergency and you need help instantly (or if you want to scold someone for doing something wrong). Someone being unconscious doesn’t violate the sleeping rules either.

It should also be mentioned that they’re even willing to let things slide not only based on serious (we never see WWX punished for running, or sleeping in, for example) but also on knowledge. They don’t punish him for those first four rules he breaks, they just make sure he can’t use not knowing them as an excuse to break more.

6) Yes, “Do not grieve is excess” sounds messed up on its own. But one, I don’t even remember if that’s a canon rule or a fanon rule (this is not as easy to double check as the rules in the extras), but I don’t remember it in any version I’ve seen. Two, there are certain parts of the grieving process that can actually be detrimental to one’s health if preformed for too long. The rule doesn’t put a time limit on grieving, it just says “excess”.

1) I believe it’s mentioned that they were present at the first siege, but it was the Jin and Jiang sects that were leading it and as I’ve mentioned before the fact that they felt the need to hide the bodies suggests to me that the Lans (and Nies) were far enough away from the actual Wen village that they never saw any of the remnants; it’s not like there wouldn’t be a large number of fierce corpses to keep them busy in the Burial Mounds. I think there may have been some Lan cultivators at the ambush? But that may be CQL-only (if it was a thing at all; I may be misremembering), and either way we never get any evidence to suggest their presence was sanctioned by the sect as a whole. And yeah, the Lans at the very least hid LWJ’s involvement from the rest of the sects; it may have just been an attempt to protect their own, but they were prepared to let a connection to WWX slide, at least. (Not to mention I don’t doubt that at least some of them suspected that A-Yuan was connected to WWX in some way, and no one said anything about that; I’ll be the first to admit that I can’t prove that, but it seems like a reasonable assumption.) And as you say, in the second siege they’re quick to stand down when given reason to believe that WWX isn’t an actual threat, not to mention how their sect leader actively sheltered him from the wrath of the sects not long before that point.

2) Yeah, that’s always the thing with the “the Lans locked up the Twin Jades’ mother and forced her to marry against her will” thing. It’s certainly a possibility, but it’s not a guarantee. The only source we get is getting the story second hand from people with a vested interest in making the whole affair look as bad as possible (to lower the risk of their current sect leader and heir doing something similar, which... fails). And if it did happen it doesn’t guarantee they’ll do it again in a very different situation; in fact we know they don’t, since WWX and LWJ’s marriage is accepted, if only grudgingly, and there’s no sign of them locking WWX up.

3) I imagine male and female disciples were always separated during classes, but it doesn’t follow that they’re separated all the time; clearly there are at least co-ed areas, if a female Lan disciple is going to visit the rabbits. Personally I’m thinking maybe the separation is at least stricter during the lessons to avoid distraction (hence why WWX never saw a female disciple as a kid but ran into one by accident while living in the Cloud Recesses) and it was probably a thing while the previous generation was there (CSSR is the exact sort of person to sneak into areas she’s not supposed to be in; I mean, she breaks into LQR’s room). But yeah, if nothing else there’s no reason to believe the male and female disciples don’t share information and a rule against sharing information that isn’t proven true (in a sect with rules against lying) which is generally rather negative towards the target doesn’t exactly seem unreasonable.

4) I think it’s in the ExR translation; is it not a thing in the original Chinese? But yeah, at worst the entire sect turns a blind eye to this rule being broken constantly, and more likely it was just quietly removed (if it was an official, policed rule to begin with, which is debatable). People seem to take that rule way more seriously than it’s ever taken in canon, honestly.

5) Yeah, the Lans are clearly prepared to make allowances in the rules for various reasons; there’s no reason to believe that mental health stuff wouldn’t be considered worthy of a similar allowance. Note that whenever we see a Lan faced with a clear mental health issue their response is to try to help; somewhat clumsily in LWJ’s case, but they do want to help, not shove the person back into some semblance of normalcy. That suggests to me that someone having genuine issues with following the rules would be treated more gently; note that LJY’s rule-breaking is treated mostly with mild exasperation and the usual punishment (which also grants Lan disciples a pretty useful skill, in this case; incredible arm strength is the Lan Thing, after all) and no one really seems to get fed up with him in any serious way.

6) Honestly, of all the sects I think that the Lans quite possibly have the healthiest grief-management stuff? I mean, we don’t see much of the Jins, but the Nies seem to go for “Channel everything into Rage and Fighting” and (while odds are it’s not indicative of the Jiangs as a whole, at least under JFM) every time we see grief in the Jiang sect it involves JC trying to murder WWX, which... is a whole thing. I’ve always taken “Do not grieve excessively” as “Do not let your grief consume you”, which is in fact a healthy way of looking at it; I don’t know if the Lans have grief counselling, but there is a point where grief just becomes incredibly unhealthy and saying “Hey, don’t do that” is at least... something. I do hope they offer some sort of assistance though, because just banning all-consuming grief and offering no help would be a whole mess. Still, if any sect is going to offer some form of counselling it’s going to be the one with the magic music for calming the mind!

[geekgirles]

Chloé’s redemption arc

I know I’m probably late to the party, but I’ve been meaning to do this analysis for a while, as I think there’s still much to be discussed.

When I first watched Miracle Queen, I must admit it was not in the best viewing quality possible. I watched it when it first premiered, in Ukranian (I think? Sorry, since I know nothing about the language I don’t really remember), in clips, and with lots of major events lacking. So that didn’t help improve my opinion on the episode compared to what we were promised (i.e. we were bound to cry), and what we got in Love Eater.

But I got the jest: Chloé is no longer Ladybug’s ally. 

Meaning all the time we spent hoping for her redemption was for naught.

And even so, I must admit that we should have seen it coming. Congratulations, members of the fandom who never believed in Chloé, you were proven right (this isn’t meant as a sarcastic remark, don’t worry).

What I mean to say is, the whole Queen Bee fiasco was foreshadowed during the season! Just like Chloé becoming Queen Bee was foreshadowed during season 2.

In season 2, whenever Chloé was given some focus, we got glimpses of her redeeming qualities, or aspects of her life/personality that were supposed to make us feel more sympathetic about her.

First of all, compared to season 1, Chloé didn’t cause nearly as many akumatisations in season 2, and when she caused them (directly, Malediktator, undirectly, Zombizou), she played an important role in the episode instead of being just their target.

In Despair Bear, thanks to Adrien’s coaxing, she tried to be a better person, and it probably would’ve done much more than just throwing a party, or trying to not be rude to others had Adrien hold her accountable for her actions longer (no Adrien salt, though. Just facts). 

In fact, the first hint on Chloé’s heroic side was shown then, when she actively did her best to help/save Ladybug from Despair Bear.

Then, we have Zombizou. 

True, her actions at the begining of the episode where far, far, far from heroic. Sabotaging Marinette’s present because she’d forgotten to bring one of her own was petty, mean, and childish. But she sacrifised herself for Ladybug and genuinely apologised to Miss Bustier.

In Style Queen she was clever enough to pretend to be on her mother’s side in order to prevent “being fired” by her, but she remained loyal to Ladybug and even tried to help her.

When it comes to Queen Wasp, even if Chloé’s actions were guided by the wrong reasons, in the end she acknowledged her mistakes, and even apologised. Hinting that there might actually be hope for her. Not to mention, she only used the miraculous when she was fed up with her mother belittling her in favor of Marinette, which, let’s face it, would be harsh for anyone.

And finally, we had Malediktator; the episode where Queen Bee became more than just a fantasy. That episode was the most hopeful of them all when it came to Chloé becoming a better person.

We saw Chloé displaying powerful emotions and intentions: sadness, courage, remorse...

She proved she was actually a competent wielder, and a loyal ally to Ladybug.

Heck, she was even nince to Sabrina.

See? Season 2 was meant to make us believe that Chloé’s change was possible. But season 3 threw many hints on the opposite.

In retrospective, the biggest hint would be Stormy Weather 2. 

Chloé’s actions there were inexcusable: she bullied Aurore like she messed with Ivan when he got akumatised, she kept on mistreating Sabrina, and for the first time we saw her desire to be Queen Bee again, no matter the cost. (Which would have been taken more seriously had the episode premiered after Miraculer like it was supposed to...)

And the biggest hint of all: “Once a villain, always a villain.”

Honestly, considering we already knew the synopsis for Miracle Queen then, I don’t know how we didn’t see it coming sooner...

And her interaction with Chat in Bakerix could be taken as one as well. Just like in Startrain, Chloé seemed to be starting to believe that just because she’d been previously entrusted with a miraculous, that she would always be needed. No matter the circumstances. When in truth, 90% of the time Ladybug hands out a miraculous is because she needs some very specific skills that are granted by one specific miraculous. So it’s a given Chloé wouldn’t always get the bee.

And, of course, there’s Animaestro. Besides Stormy Weather, that’s the other episode where she was like her season 1 self the most. Just because she didn’t like Kagami, and because she was jealous of her bond with Adrien, she cooked up a plan to embarrass her and even talked Marinette into helping her. Just like she would do to Marinette during most of the first season.

But because they can’t just hand us a straight up answer about Chloé being redeemable or not, they threw Miraculer and its “Chloé resisted akumatisation” scene at us. But, to be honest, considering the level of entitlement she displayed during the episode, we should have kept our guard up for the finale.

This is something that was most likely foreshadowed in the ending card:

Chloé’s back was turned on us, symbolising her future betrayal. That she would turn her back on Ladybug. The only one smiling was Hawk Moth, meaning he was up to no good. And after Sabrina had been defeated, Chloé got rid of both her picture with Ladybug, and her costume of her, signifying that she no longer looks up to her like she used to.

And, of course, there’s the finale.

Many will say it was Marinette’s fault for entrusting the miraculous to Kagami instead of Chloé, but seriously? I actually believe she made the right choice.

No matter how you look at it, Kagami wasn’t in nearly as much danger as Chloé was. Sure, Hawk Moth knows of their secret identities, but Kagami only revealed hers to her mother (who’d forgotten all about it once she was deakumatised) and Hawk Moth, whose least concern at the moment was the actual akuma battle. 

Chloé, on the other hand, had revealed her identity to all of Paris, including her parents. The ones who were akumatised at the moment. 

One could argue that was all the more reason to give Chloé the miraculous, but considering Love Eater had no qualms in endangering their daughter when she had no powers, I wouldn’t put it past them to do the same if they were to battle. And don’t forget it was them who were at fault for Queen Bee’s akumatisation during Heroes’ Day. That was Hawk Moth using Chloé’s identity against her. 

When it comes to Marinette, her only mistake was not detransforming when visiting Master Fu. Had she done it, and the most Chat and her would have had to face would be an akumatised Chloé. But not Miracle Queen. 

Was Marinette troubled by her own emotions when she picked the miraculous? Of course. But, ultimately, when it comes to her chosen, she made the right choice.

Now Chloé, despite being emotionally vulnerable, could’ve done better. After all, she managed to do so in Miraculer. She also had plenty of reasons to trust Ladybug before Hawk Moth when he was trying to manipulate her. 

I can’t take the fact that she tried resisting him at first from her, but you can’t take away from me the fact that she gave in, either.

When Hawk Moth was trying to convince her to side with him, he gave her reasons to betray Ladybug that were as easy to debunk as Lila’s lies. But just like that particular example, Chloé didn’t do something crucial; she didn’t think clearly.

“What has she ever done for you?”

“Nothing.”

That is the biggest lie I have ever heard! Not even Lila’s are that bad!

Because Ladybug had done so much for Chloé. And so many times! Arguably, Ladybug had done more for Chloé than her parents ever did.

She’s saved her countless times of akumas, many of which she’d caused.

She apologised for her mistakes (Antibug) or any action that might’ve hurt Chloé (Miraculer).

She entrusted her with a miraculous even when she had previously proved she wasn’t the smartest choice.

She listened to her problems and offered valuable advice and support.

Seriously, Ladybug has been more of a role model to Chloé than literally any other character in the show.

But did that mean anything to Chloé? 

No.

In the end, her desire to be exceptional and celebrated outweighed her admiration for Ladybug. 

In the end, the brat beat the hero.

And her immature rant and desperate attempts at the end of Miracle Queen didn’t really help either. She kept blaming Ladybug for not giving her the bee miraculous, which she constantly referred to as ‘hers’; she actually tried to grab the akuma Hawk Moth released after being defeated, she even tried to keep the Miraculous Box to herself!

Hate to say it, but it was kinda pathetic.

And, honestly? Now that she no longer has Ladybug as someone to look up to in her life, and her parents will probably be busier trying to rekindle their relationship than paying attention to her, I can only imagine she will walk down an even darker path. Especially given the debut of a new Bee Miraculous Holder.  

A miraculous holder that looks, suspiciously, a lot like Chloé. But who we know it’s not her, mainly because it’s been confirmed, and she’s been described as “very sweet.”

Now, this is mere speculation, but I believe this might actually be the true introduction of Amber Bourgeois. 

Remember her? She was thought to be Chloé’s sister and the original holder of the bee, a belief very widely spread until  the SDCC2016/17 (?), where Rena Rouge and Queen Bee were first featured.

It would actually explain Lindalee Rose’s statement; “secret siblings.” And this is perfectly plausible if we keep in mind that Félix was supposed to have been deleted when they created Adrien. But, hey! He has an entire episode dedicated to him! Crazy, right?

But back to the point. If Amber were to appear and prove herself to be way more likeable than Chloé, that would surely put her in a foul mood. Especially if she were to receive the Bee Miraculous. And I’m not even saying that Chloé has to know her sister’s her replacement to be mad!

As I see it, it wouldn’t be impossible to believe that, one way or another, Chloé had always been in Amber’s shadow, especially when it comes to Audrey and her affection. Probably, Amber wouldn’t only be nicer and generally more likeable than Chloé, she would probably be more exceptional than her, earning her the attention and approval from Audrey that Chloé so desperately seeks.

Maybe, we’ll see Chloé was so attached to the idea of being a hero because she genuinely thought that was her only chance to be something her sister wasn’t. She might have thought she could only be exceptional if she was Queen Bee.

Which will only be all the more painful when she realises that she truly has no chance to ever wield the miraculous again, not only because she betrayed Ladybug, but because she’s been replaced.

Both scenarios, losing the miraculous to another or having her sister outshine her again, would actually explain her fifth and new akumatisation in season 4.

So is Chloé really capable of redemption?

If you ask me, she is. But she’ll have to earn it as Chloé Bourgeois, not as Queen Bee or through any external help other than the hard truth.

What do I mean with this? Simple; redemptions happen when the character actually faces the consequences of their actions, consequences that are as grave as the mistakes or crimes they committed. So if we want Chloé to be redeemed, she must realise that she messed up, big time, after her actions catch up to her.

It’s for this reason why I personally don’t see a ship such as Luckloé happening. 

People argue Luka could be a good influence on her and they would really complement the other and bla, bla, bla... 

Seriously, though. What could Luka possibly do that shouldn’t have been already achieved by Ladybug or Adrien?

It’s true Luka could call her out on her flaws, and maybe she would try to be better in order to appease him. But just like with Adrien, it’d only be that, an attempt to get in their good graces again, not a genuine attempt to be a better person. Meaning, the moment Luka, or Adrien, or whoever she might want to impress forgive her, she’ll be back to being her usual self.

And don’t try telling me Luka would actually hold her accountable for her actions for more than an episode, because if there’s something that should be learned when watching Miraculous Ladybug that is that feelings can blind us.

For starters, that is literally the reason Hawk Moth even has akumas!

Hawk Moth literally depends on his victims’ hurt feelings to make it easier for him to get under their skin and get them to agree to being turned into his minions. All for the sake of revenge.

Second, although I am going to go on a bit of a tangent here, that is also what happens to those involved in this show’s complicated love story.

Surprisingly enough, Kagami is the best example. 

Despite being the most stoic one of the four teenagers that are romantically involved with each other, she allows her feelings for Adrien to blind her from things she doesn’t take kindly from other people.

For example, there’s the thing with moving on. Out of all the four of them, Kagami is the only one who’s shown no intention of actually letting go of Adrien. Because, even if Marinette and Adrien are certainly very attached to their own crushes, it’s been shown more than once that they have at least considered moving on from Adrien and Ladybug; respectively. And as for Luka, he’s made it very clear ever since Frozen that he would gladly let go of Marinette if it means she’ll be happy. Kagami, on the other hand, has made it very clear that she wholeheartedly believes Adrien and she belong together and that she refuses to let go of him entirely, preferring to wait for him to realise she’s the best choice.

There’s also the fact that Kagami’s stated many times she isn’t one to hesitate, nor does she have a lot of patience for those who do. Even going as far as saying Adrien’s hesitation was hurting her. However, that doesn’t stop her from still going after him, even when it has led her to doubt and don’t think highly of others.

See what I mean?

With this I’m trying to say that even Luka could be too blinded by his feelings for Chloé to actually make her rectify her behaviour if Lukloé were to happen. 

And there’s also the fact that if there’s any relationship she should work to mend and improve first, it should be her friendship with Sabrina.

Summing up, while I believe not all hope is lost, I also think Chloé shouldn't be entrusted with a miraculous again. She should work to be exceptional as Chloé, not as a hero. She should learn to be a better Chloé Bourgeois, not a better Queen Bee.

[clairecrive]

“All the time in the world”- Bob Saginowski x reader

I’m honestly so happy with the response of the Bronson piece! I love you guys so much <3 so here’s a little Bob fluff that never hurts. Also, this is my first time writing him so if he sounds a little bit off that’s why. 

Tag list: @mollybegger-blog​, @br0ck-eddie​, @of-love-and-of-the-sea​, @evelynshelby​, @deaflikehawkeye​, @shadow-of-wonder​, @fandom--0verdose​, @sopxhiea​, @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @fuseburner​ (let me know if you wanna be added or removed)

You did it. You finally had sex with him. You had only been going out for a while, a couple of weeks, maybe a month. However, you had known Bob for way longer. You were a regular at his bar, either with your groups of friends or by yourself. That would be the case in which you had met Bob, well you actually had talked to him. When you were tipsy, you tended to marvel about the stupidest things out loud. Bob thought you were amusing and decided to humour you. That had led to a really long talk and long walk home since you were drunk and he refused to let you go home alone. Then one night when you were there on your own, he told you that his shift had ended early and asked if you wanted to grab a bite with him.

From that moment you began unofficially dating. You would see each other every other day and not only at the bar where he worked. Then after the third date, before you could climb off his pick up, he kissed you sealing the deal. Seems like you were dating then. 

You would be lying if you said that you didn’t like him. Well, of course you did, otherwise, you wouldn’t be dating him. However, your feelings were shifting from “like” to something more. And that bothered you to no end. You didn’t get attached to boys. Especially those who you had been seeing for less than a month. Nothing good ever comes from that. You were a pro at hiding your feelings. Been doing it for so long that you felt now unable to suppress these feelings any longer. 

That was going to be a problem.

 It was way too soon to feel like you did and even sooner to let him know. But you couldn’t go on this way anymore. Seemed like the sex only brought it up and made it impossible for you to ignore. You were laying down next to him, Bob had dozed off and your mind had gone wild. Suddenly, it was all becoming too much for you and you felt like you needed to leave. Without giving it a second thought, you began to pick up your clothes and got dressed quickly. 

When you were about to leave his room, something made you stop and look at him. Sprawled over the sheets half-naked, his face restful and peaceful, he looked so innocent. Bob had always been good to you and this was how you were going to repay him? By acting like one of those assholes in those rom coms that you hated? You couldn’t leave like this and you knew it. You owed him at least to tell him something. So, before leaving, you looked for a pen and a piece of paper and left him a note. 

“I need to sort myself out and think things through. Last night was amazing though. Don’t take this personally because you have done nothing wrong.”

Those were the words that met Bob when he opened his eyes. Waking up to an empty and cold bed wasn’t what he was expecting and your words left him even more dumbfounded. Despite what you said, he couldn’t help but wonder if he had done something wrong. Furrowing his eyebrows, he quickly went through your time spent together. He was totally clueless though because he genuinely thought that everything was going great between you. Apparently, he had been blind because they were not. He wondered if he needed to give you some space but thought against it. The only way to solve this was by talking things through. Even if it meant breaking up. So he got dressed quickly and headed over your house. After climbing the stairs of your patio, he was about to ring the bell when your voice met his ears. It came from the back of the house. Walking towards it, he stopped just before he came into view when he overheard something interesting.

“So you left him in bed, after your first time together, because you’re afraid?” Your friend's Nadia incredulous voice met his ears.

“I know, I know, I’m a terrible person.” You groaned but your voice came out muffled and peeking from his hideout, he saw that you hid it in your palms.

“I’m sorry but I don’t understand, what are you afraid of?”

“Haven’t you heard a word I said?” Now it was you who was incredulous. It seemed like you two had been talking for a while.

“I did but it’s all bullshit it you ask me.” Nadia sassed earning a glare from you.

“I can’t tell him how I feel Nadia, I’ll scare him away.” you sighed sounding defeated.

“Well, I think you’ve already accomplished that by running away after sex,” she pointed out and when she received your you’re not helping look, she continued, “you should talk to him y/n, really. It’ll solve everything.”

“I know, I know that communication is the key to every healthy relationship but I… I just can’t.” Shaking your head you let it hang from the backrest of the swing you were sitting on.

“Talking to him means that I need to explain why I left and that would lead to my feelings for him, which he can’t know about yet,” you continued sighing, eyes looking up to the sky.

“You had no problem talking about it with me,” Nadia pointed out scrolling her shoulders.

“Are you dumb? That’s different,” you retorted snapping your head in her direction, “if I tell him that I think I love him, he’ll run away!” exclaiming, your expression resembled one of those teachers after they had repeated the same thing for the hundredth time and their students still weren’t grasping it. “It’s been three weeks Nadia, it’s way too soon for the “L” word,” defeated your head went back on the backrest. “Besides, who’s to say that he’s even looking for a serious relationship? He’s really busy with work, he has a lot on his plate right now.” You didn’t believe that. Bob could hear it in your tone and so could Nadia. Both knew you very well.

“Bob doesn’t strike me as someone who’s seeking a one night stand or something temporary.” And in fact, he wasn't. Everyone who knew him was aware of that. It was as plain as day even for Nadia that didn’t know Bob that well.

“Maybe I should just put both of us out of our misery and break up with him,” was your totally unrelated consideration. 

“Are you out of your mind? God, what does your mind tell you? You’re in love with the guy and you want to break up with him?” Bob shook his head at your total illogical thought process while Nadia looked completely confused by you. She was having none of it, what the hell.

“This is not what I signed for when we started dating, Nadia. This got way too serious way too fast,” looking at her you defended yourself. “Look at me! I’m here worrying about a guy when I promised myself I never was going to again.”

“Bob’s not the problem here. For all we know, he could be in love with you too and be heartbroken that you run away-” Nadia wasn’t able to finish her sentence.

“Please,” you scoffed, “have you met me? Why would he love me? And stop saying that I’ve run away, I’ve left him a note,” huffing out annoyed at your friend, both of them knew that they were getting closer to the true motive of your actions.

“-what I think it’s the problem here is you and your inability to let yourself go and feel your emotions instead of repressing them,” now it was her time to interrupt you.

“I hate that you know me so well,” you whisper under your breath, “I just- I don’t want to put myself in that vulnerable position again where he can hurt me.” And here it is, thought Bob. This was the problem then.

“Everyone’s bound to get hurt once in a while y/n, that’s life. And you ought to live it to the fullest and not repress every feeling and avoid any deep connection. You’re missing out on a lot, plus, it’s not healthy,” Nadia observed with wisdom that Bob would have never associated with her. But she had a point.

“If you think that it’s too soon to confess your feelings for him then don’t. Show him instead,” she added when you didn’t say anything.

“I’ve been doing that for the past week. Smothering him with kisses and affection, romantic dinners and shit that I’ve always despised in movies. I went over his bar often and stuff. He probably thinks I’m clingy now and he’s fed up with me,” you confessed listing with the help of your fingers.

“Sounds to me you just stopped being distant and started being a loving girlfriend,” Nadia commented with a patronizing smile. “Oh, and he probably already knows too. He’s very attentive and he knows you so…” Scrolling her shoulders she stated what she thought was pretty obvious while she observed your face scrunch up in desperation.

“It’s only been three weeks goddammit, why am I feeling this way?”

“Time is relative y/n. Stop worrying about it too much. Couples have married after two weeks of dating.” Nadia pointed out thinking to help her case but she got the opposite reaction from you.

“That’s madness,” you spat with wide eyes. 

The two girls continued talking but Bob had heard enough. As Nadia said, he had noticed the change in behavior and despite what you thought, he had thoroughly enjoyed it. But he had also been wondering what had caused it. Now he knew. Deciding to pick up Nadia’s advice, he turned around and headed back home. He knew how to solve this. He was just going to show you.

At home, Bob prepared a nice dinner. Nothing too complicated but he knew you liked it. He wasn’t good with words and apparently neither were you when it came to your feelings. So he needed to find another way. And he thought that paying attention to the details in a way that showed how much he cared, was the right one.

Show, don’t tell.

That was what he was going to do. Since the very first time you two had eaten together, you had always been very passionate about food. Bob was a much better bartender than he was a cook, hence his occupation, but he tried anyway to deliver a delicious meal. Your favourite nonetheless. From what he’d gathered, it was best for him to take matters into his own hands. Otherwise, if he had to wait for you, he’d probably wait a long time. So he sent you a text, mentioning the homemade diner he asked if you would join him. As he predicted, you’d said yes. You’d never turn down an invitation where food was involved. That alone showed how much Bod knew you. Surely, he wouldn’t pay so much attention to someone he didn’t care about, right? He thought your reservations were fair. He understood where you were coming from. On the other hand, he thought it was very clear his stand on relationships, yours in particular. Apparently not. He was to rectify that soon though.

When dinner time came around, you parked in front of Bob’s house right on time. He had probably heard you pull up because when you walked to his door you saw that it was open and Rocco was waiting for you on the threshold.

“Hello, you handsome boy,” you cooed at his cute little face giving him some well-deserved belly rubs until you noticed that he was holding something in his mouth. Gently pulling it out of his mouth, you saw that it was a folded piece of paper. 

It said:

“Please don’t run away like that again. If you don’t talk to me then how is this going to work?”

As you let the words sink in, your eyes flickered to Rocco who was now looking at you with his head tilted to the side. The pang of guilt was impossible to avoid and you knew that this dinner wasn’t going to be like any other. 

Closing the door behind you, you made your way through the hallway that leads to the kitchen expecting to find Bob dealing with your food. And there he was.

The table was already set, two sweet-scented candles were lit and he had just set your plates down when you walked into the room. You lingered near the door for a bit, not knowing what mood he was going to be in. You had left after having sex with him after all.  Still drying his hands with a cloth, he turned to where you were standing and as if he felt your insecurity, Bob gave you a small smile. 

Feeling a little more confident in yourself you crossed the room to meet him before you’d sit down at the table. 

“Hi,” you started shyly.

“Hi, babe,” two words and he managed to make you swoon. Oh, how you loved this man.

“I’m so so sorry for this morning, I-” he didn’t let you continue and you were secretly grateful for it ‘cause you would have probably made a mess.

“I know,” he reassured you holding you gently by the waist.

“You know?” How could he possibly know?

“I get that you have reservations when it comes to relationships, I do too,” he shared putting a strand of hair behind your ear.

“You do?” If you weren’t so damn confused by what was going on, you were sure you’d have punched yourself for being so stupid.

“Of course. I have been alone for a long time. Being in a relationship after a while can be difficult.” Gently cradling your face in his hands, he added, “But I want you to know that you can always talk to me.”

“I’m scared that what I’m going to say to you will make you run away from me. And I kinda like you so I don’t want that to happen,” you confessed quietly. He was so close to you now that you could whisper and he would hear. Somehow it made it easier to talk.

“I won’t,” he promised and you believed him. Why? Good question, it’s just one of those things that you just know. 

“I just-,” how were you going to tell him? “my feelings for you scare me,” by just saying it, you figured.

“You don’t have to tell me anything right now. Just know that we can turn that fear into assurance. I and Rocco are always up for some cuddles, aren’t we buddy?” And as if on cue, Rocco barked agreeing with his favourite human. You couldn’t help but giggle in happiness, you were really a lucky gal.

“Now let’s go eat. The food is getting cold.” And with that both your minds were at ease, ready to enjoy the night together. Yes, there were some things that needed to be discussed still but you had all the time in the world for that. It seemed that neither you not Bob had any intention to leave.

[lycorogue]

Some Passing Thoughts on the New Miraculous Episodes

Finally got around to watching the fansubs of the Shanghai special and “Truth” (I’m still waiting for the other episodes to come out before watching Furious Fu).

Miraculous World: Shanghai – The Legend of Ladydragon

I have to say, I might change my mind later if the Prodigious proves to be more crucial to the overall lore of the series, but right now? Yeah. This special is a major skip for me. 

I did not connect with Fei the way I fell in love with Jess and Aeon. I am so pissed at the set-up the writers came up with to GET Marinette to Shanghai; her reasoning is the most selfish thing we have ever seen her do and it is such an injustice to her character. Plus, it is like neither Ladybug nor Chat Noir learned anything from the New York trip as they both show up in Shanghai kind of spur of the moment (i.e. didn’t tell the other they were leaving Paris). In fact, Marinette - again, going back to my hatred for the setup to get her to China - didn’t even CONSIDER the fact that Paris would be left unprotected; that Ladybug would be MIA. Granted, it was stated that Hawk Moth was surprisingly inactive, but shouldn’t that put her on hyper-alert; waiting for the other shoe to drop and Hawky to release something big that he was building up to? Instead she just lowers her guard and doesn’t even consider her superhero duties when planning on following Adrien. 

Another annoying thing is that the writers didn’t seem to learn anything from backlash against the episode “Kung Fu.” They just once again have Adrien be the one offering to teach Marinette Mandarin; not her mother (whose Chinese name Marinette never even knew), nor her great-uncle. Another writers flub was in the battle against Roi Argent. Ladybug questions Mei Shi’s suggestion that revenge does not equal justice (if that was translated properly), and... I’m pretty sure Marinette already showcased in previous episodes such as “Silencer” that she very much knows that revenge doesn’t equal justice??? She’s the one who corrected Chat Noir that Silencer coercing Bob Roth to admit he stole from Kitty Section and Marinette isn’t justice; it’s revenge. So???? HUH? NOW she magically feels like Fei’s revenge on Cash is justice for what he did to her? 

If all of that wasn’t bad enough, the pacing of this special was in complete overdrive as well. You didn’t have any of those emotional moments - both heart breaking and fluff-bombs - that you had in the NY special. The focus was largely on Fei, and I didn’t even really like her. She didn’t have the heart and the fully-fleshed characterization that Jess or Aeon had.

I’m also confused about Gabriel spending the past 15 years planning this whole thing. HOW!? WHY!? This is before Adrien was even born, or VEEERY shortly after if we skipped over his 15th birthday in the series. This was LOOOOOOONG before Emilie’s illness, which is presumably why Gabriel started using the butterfly miraculous in the first place (as showcased by Gabe in Origins asking Nooroo to remind him how the powers even work before using them for the first time in a corrupted state on Adrien’s first day of public school). So, if getting the Great Power of the Prodigious was something he was planning on doing literally all of Adrien’s life, why present it as “I found something that can finally give me an edge against Ladybug and Chat Noir”? I mean, what was his original endgame going to be? He couldn’t have possibly known that he’d be in dire need for the cat and ladybug jewels but struggled to take them from two teenage superheroes. It’s like the writers are trying to set him up as some mastermind akin to David Xanatos from Disney’s Gargoyles, but they are failing miserably. The whole Hawk Moth plot just doesn’t make sense to me.

Honestly? The only things that made this special worth it for me were: 1) Finding out a bit more about Sabine and her family (I love that she probably picked the name Sabine because it sounded like the pronunciation of her Chinese name) 2) Seeing Gorilla be his action figure nerd self a bit more (and the action figures of Uncanny Valley and Eagle) 3) Mei Shi in Renling (?) form, who was hella adorable! I need him as a plushie STAT 4) Adrien being the precious bean that he is. Just every moment he’s on screen was adorable (complete with him STILL having the picture of Marinette that was sent to him in “Evillustrator” saved to his baton and using that to try to find her) 5) Seeing the world through the eyes of a kwami for the first time and learning a touch more non-crucial lore 6) Mei Shi in statue form reminding me of the Dragon costume on The Masked Singer.

(I know, seeing them side-by-side now, they really aren’t that similar after all, but it’s been about a year since Dragon was on The Masked Singer, and he’s still what I kept thinking of as I watched Mei Shi on screen)

While I obsessively watched the New York special at least a dozen times, I’m really only seeing myself re-watch this special once more when it’s in English, and maybe whenever I do a full-series binge (which is super rare that I take the time for that).

Not impressed. Sorry.

Truth

“Truth”, on the other hand? Hhhhhnnnnnngggg. My heart! It breaks! Poor Marinette. Poor poor Luka. I mean, silver linings at the end there, but also BIG OOF. (Also, why wasn’t Adrien around at all whenever Truth made people confess that Marinette’s secret was her love for Adrien? xDDD)

I’m also a bit confused about the Adrien pictures. She had them taken down pretty much since “Troublemaker”, and yet her walls are once more papered with Adrien’s likeness now that Marinette is trying to get over him and date Luka? How does THAT make any sense outside of the writers going “we need an awkward phone call between Marinette and Luka. Oh! I know! A picture of her Adrien-covered bedroom walls is accidentally sent to Luka!” >3> Also.... what is UP with Luka’s animation again!? The kid was so pale it’s like they forgot to add any color to his model in this episode. WHY CAN’T THEY JUST ANIMATE MY PRECIOUS SON LOOKING HANDSOME EVER!? FIRST NO EYELASHES, AND NOW NO SKIN TONE!? WHYYYYYYYYY!? Personally, I prefer “Silencer” to “Truth” both in overall story and in Luka’s akumatized form design. Also, side note, did anyone else notice that Ladybug was hit by Luka’s attack and couldn’t speak for most of the battle both times? And that she needed Chat Noir to help her set up her Lucky Charm both times? And that Luka’s drive both times was to get to the truth?

I did still enjoy this episode very much. It showcases the new stresses Marinette has to face (totally unfair; I agree. However, it’s a standard trope in most teenage superhero stories such as Teen Titans and Spider-Man, so I was expecting it). It showcases how hard it is for her to figure out a balance between life and superheroing (again, re: standard teen-superhero trope). The fans get confirmation on a fantheory that’s been circling pretty much since Luka was introduced (ESPECIALLY after the episode “Desperada”). The Ladynoir shippers are well fed, and it’s great to see LB and CN praise each other - including Ladybug’s love of Chat Noir’s humor. 

I hope this isn’t the end of us seeing Luka in the show (that would break my heart even more) and it feels lame to build up the Lukanette “love rival” arc only for it to die off before it really goes anywhere. There was so much story potential there where Marinette could grow to learn what it truly means to be in love, and not just idolize and romanticize someone you’re infatuated with. Instead, all she learned is that she is alone aside from Chat Noir, and I feel like that’s SUUUUPER railroading the Ladynoir ship. And, frankly, I’d much prefer to see the Ladynoir side grow naturally, as it has been, instead of forcing Marinette’s hand because Chat Noir is the only one she can be MOSTLY honest with (secret identities notwithstanding).

It’s been a long hiatus. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to dodge fandom salt, but still get a larger dose than I intended to have in my fandom diet, so maybe my views are a bit tainted from that. However, this special and season premiere feel a bit like the writers are stumbling. I don’t know if the pandemic somehow affected their writing flow, or if they feel pressured by the fans to tell the series’ story a certain way and are scrambling to do so, or if they are rushing to an ending instead of taking their time and letting it naturally unfold as they had with the first few seasons. But, regardless of their reason, I hope they re-find themselves; the ones who told great stories in seasons 1 and 2 and (poor writing for Marinette notwithstanding) really good stories in season 3. I hope they can step up their game for the remainder of season 4. 

It’s been a long break, and we all deserve something good to feed us. We don’t need another GoT or HIMYM final season. Especially when this isn’t even supposed to BE the final season of the series.

Guess it’s time to wait for “Lies” to come out, and hope for the best.

[carynsilver]

Favorite Fics: Drarry Edition

Like I mentioned last time, reading has been a big comfort to me with all this craziness and sheltering at home, so I want to pay it forward and send love to some of the writers whose work has been brightening my quarantine. Thanks, guys!

For this list, we’re leaving the MCU for a while and heading over to the Wizarding World. I liked Harry Potter when it came out, but I never really read much fanfic until I realized a couple of years ago how much a redeemed Draco fit into the redemption trope that I loved in Harringrove, LoVe, SnowBaz, and other fandoms and ships. Once I started perusing the fics out there, I realized that one of the strengths of this fandom is the length and quality of the stories. I love stories that are a meal, and Drarry provides so many!

As I’ve gotten into the ship (so many years late, lol), these are my top 10 favorites.

dirtynumbangelboy by @magpiefngrl

This is probably the Drarry fic that I most enjoy. I come back to it fairly often when I need just a good read in the HP world. Fake dating is one of my absolute favorite tropes, which made this one an automatic win for me, but it’s written with such heart. I really, really love Draco in this fic. His uni studies and his flat being so different from the diffident image he projects. This is also probably the best Astoria I’ve ever read. Also--Jam Today! Read it now!

Do It All Over Again by DracoWillHearAboutThis

I only discovered this series earlier this year, and I’ve already read it at least three times from beginning to end. It’s a re-telling of the original series starting from Book 1. Draco sends himself a letter from the future basically saying that his dad is wrong, and he needs to give up his pure blood ideals and befriend Harry, then--boom--the Golden Trio’s adventures all happen with Draco in tow (and eventual romance, of course). The plot is fairly similar to the actual series, but I am there for the angst and the character growth. Narcissa kicks ass in this ‘verse, and Draco/Hermionie as besties is a treat! Book 4 and Book 6 are both amazing. And her titles are hilarious. This is the only series on my list that is still a WIP, but there’s plenty to read. Books 1 - 6 are complete, and a new chapter for 7 comes out every two weeks. It’s a safe bet so far, and it’s so good--why wait?

A Secondary Education by Thunderbird587

In this fic, Draco takes a job as Potions Professor at Hogwarts after getting divorced under horrible circumstances and renews his acquaintance with Harry, who is the DADA Professor. It’s got a bisexual awakening, and manages to combine friends with benefits with some supreme pining. Like a whole pine forest. Thunderbird587′s Draco POV is so fleshed out, and yet it also lets us see how Harry is pining, even when Draco himself doesn’t. Plus, at over 200K, it is long enough to get lost in for ages, which is perfect right about now. And when you finish the main fic, there are three other ancillary fics, two in Harry’s POV that take place during the main one. The cufflinks one is my favorite, but the writing is so good that I even thoroughly enjoyed the third sub-fic that fleshed out an OC. So, so worth the read--all of it!

The Foundations!verse by Saras_Girl

All of the fics by Saras_Girl are great. You can’t go wrong with any of them. But Reparations, Foundations, and all the little one-shots after are my favorite. It honestly surprised me at first, because alcoholism is a trigger for me, but this fic actually helped me realize that it’s the addiction part, the fall to rock bottom that triggers me. Recovery stories are different. And, I guess, this one is a bit different in that, though it has plenty of characters recovering, Draco himself is actually in a healthy place and facilitating recovery without relapsing. Harry is a Healer in this one, which is not the usual, and I quite enjoy his other relationships in this ‘verse, as well. He, Ron, and Hermione’s friendship is great in this one (their pub nights crack me up), but I also really like Harry’s friends at St. Mungo’s. My second favorite Terry Boot ever, and two awesome OC chicks. And the process of Drarry going from can’t stand each other to in love is slow and prickly and yet really believable. Oh, and Harry and Narcissa’s relationship in this one is just fabulous.

Golden Age by zeitgeistic (faire_weather)

The Hufflepuff in me was bound to fall in love with this fic. I really enjoy Eighth Year fics, especially the ones that embrace inter-house unity (shouldn’t have taken them a war to see the need for that!). This one takes it to a new level when everyone in... I think it was 6th - 8th years were resorted at the welcome feast, and the whole 8th year dynamic is shaken up. Harry, Draco and Neville become Hufflepuffs; Hermione and Pansy become Ravenclaws; Ginny becomes a Slytherin; and somehow Ron and Blaise are the ones who stay in their houses because the hat thinks they are basically the uber Gryffindor and Slytherin. But with the rest of them, we get to see them embrace other facets of their personalities, which is super interesting. And then, after the resorting, we find out that Hufflepuffs have a whole different world going on that basically no one outside their house knows about, and that world is brilliant. Even Hufflepuff food in the Great Hall is different! Everyone would enjoy this story, I think, but if you are a ‘Puff, you really, truly should not miss it. And if you like this one, check out some of zeitgeistic’s other works. Her world building is fabulous.

Life skills outside the curriculum by Endrina

In this fic, Harry gets fed up with the Dursleys before his 11th birthday and runs away before he gets his Hogwarts letter. He ends up on the streets and somehow embraces this kind of instinctual magic that is really fascinating. A few years later, Draco runs away rather than get involved more closely with the Dark Lord, and of course they meet up. This whole fic is super compelling. Harry’s world view and the way people gravitate toward him even without chosen one status. Also, this fic has one of my favorite versions of Remus and Sirius ever. I really wish there was a part two that went in depth on everything that happened after the end of this one, but even on its own it is so worth the read. And everything is wrapped up. I’m just greedy and would’ve loved more. :-)

A Convenient Impracticality by @firethesound

This fic combines friends with benefits and fake dating into a really enjoyable story. Harry is so oblivious, but it all works out in the end. And Draco is a secret mastermind, but in a good way. So is Hermione. Unlike some of the other, angstier stories on my list, this one is so fun, and I love it. And if you like it, check out more of firethesound’s work, as well. It’s worth it!

you’ve got the antidote for me by kandakicksass

And then, back on the angst train, lol. Soulmates, red string of fate, rejected bond = terminal disease. Whew! There’s a lot to unpack in this one, but after I read it, I never forgot it. I read a lot of fic in a lot of fandoms, and I always know a story is going to become a favorite if it stands out so much that I remember it later and think about it. That surely happened here.

(We’ll Call This Fixer-Upper) Home by phdmama

This is one of the first fics I read on my first Drarry binge, and I’ve always remembered it. Just like I love Eighth Year and Hogwarts professor fics, I also love fics where they have really unexpected jobs--pretty much anything other than Aurors. In this one, Harry is an artist/photographer and Draco is an up-and-coming rock star. The music and art, the creativity is important in this fic, but it also really looks at Draco’s recovery after the war in ways I haven’t read since, and I’m also a sucker for our favorite characters actually addressing and recovering from their trauma. 

Boom Clap (The Sound of My Heart) by @femmequixotic and noeon (noe)

This fic takes the Eighth Year trope to the next level. Draco, Harry, Hermione, and some other faves are teaching fellows at Hogwarts. Junior professors, kind of. It read like if the HP crew went to college. And, of course, Draco and Harry fall in love along the way, but not without much angst and obliviousness. I really enjoy the Draco POV in this. His worries and anxieties feel so real for that stage in his life, but amped up because of the past. This was one I read, never forgot, and then had to go back and find so i could read it again.

So, those are my top 10, but there is lots of other good Drarry out there--both from these authors and all the others in the ship and the fandom. Thanks for all the writing you guys do.

Oh, and tagging @virtual-insomnia, but only because she said she might want to make some quarantine fic lists of her own. :-)