#like his name probably isn't Larry

[badpanduhmemes]

Okay soooo, this is a second attempt at a thing, that I am scrapping. This was building to a punchline that was way too good to waste on the Chameleon...so here's a look at what could have been: The Chameleon could have been Mrs. Jibongi.

[sysig]

Enecomimi Banzaiiii (Patreon)

[seraphicloves]

𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞

⊱✿⊰ summary: he isn't yours so why do you get so jealous?

⊱✿⊰ warnings: jealously, you're possessive but sal likes it, he doesn't believe anyone would love him :( cringy confession; reader is a dork i fear (she is me)

⊱✿⊰ notes: i heard this song and had this daydream and was like dang this would be a fire fanfic so here we are. ALSO WHERE ARE ALL THE SALLY FACE FANS LIKE I WRITE FOR IT GUYS NOTICE ME ahem anyway

⊱✿⊰ taglist: @fashionablysouly @kozumesphone

You had a secret: you were excruciatingly and agonizingly in love with your best friend, Sal Fisher. Okay so maybe it wasn't a secret to anyone except for Sal himself but it was still something you would rather die before Sal found out. He definitely didn't see you that way and he would probably reject you immediately if he found out. So it was safer to just not say anything.

He didn't need to know about the nights spent screaming into your pillow or crying in Ashley's arms over how sickeningly giddy his voice made you. He didn't need to know how easily he made your heart beat like you ran a marathon or how easily he made you feel like your head was in the clouds.

However that led to dilemmas such as the one you found yourself in currently. You were probably the most aware of Sal'a attractive but unfortunately, you were not the only one to notice it. So it was common as was happening right then, to find a girl start talking his ear off obviously trying to flirt with him.

"You're so funny, Sallyy," The girl giggled, sitting across from Sal at the cafeteria table. You tried to stop your glare from settling into your face but it was far too late, jealousy was disease that affected you quickly and viciously.

She was beautiful with tanned skin and soft lips, she was perfect and far more in the league of someone as incredible of Sal. But no, she doesn't deserve Sal. She doesn't know him like you do, she doesn't ache in her bones at the thought of being near him. She can't have him.

"You might as well leave." Larry commented to her, seeming far to amused as he glanced at you. You felt self conscious and tried to relax your face from the deadly look you had been casting on that girl. He continued, "[Name] is far too jealous to let you stay for much longer."

Murder should be legal, you quickly decided as you shot a look at Larry that made him well aware he would not be living for much longer. Why the hell would he say that? In front of Sal too?

Did he want you to die of heartbreak? Surely Larry fucking Johnson was praying on your downfall because there is no other logical reason for him to have done that. Unless he has a death wish.

"[Name] isn't dating Sal. Isn't that right, honey?" The girl replied, placing her hand over top Sal'`. That was when you snapped; how dare she touch Sal?

Before you could fully process thinking you grabbed her wrist and yanked it away from Sal. You looked at her, trying to cool the inferno of anger in your gaze as you said, "That boy is mine. Touch him again and I break all of your bones."

The girl let out a whimper and quickly rushed away, leaving a majority of the lunch room's eyes on you. You sunk into your seat, far too afraid to glance at the blue haired boy beside you. You were beyond embarrassed by your possessiveness, who were you to say he was yours?

Larry and Ashley were absolutely cackling, way too amused to see this side of you publicly outed to the boy you loved with your entire soul. Sal turned to look at you, his prosthetic hiding any hint of emotion you could have gotten.

"I'm yours?" He asked, his voice making your tummy rumble and roll. Even his voice was attractive, it physically wasn't fair to exist beside him and not have him to kiss and hold.

"Have you really not noticed, Sally?" Ashley asked, nudging you on the shoulder. You bit the inside of your cheek, preferring none of this to happen. Why did your feelings have to come out this way?

Sal made a confused noise but you grabbed his arm, and said, "Can I talk to you alone?" He nodded and let you lead him away from the lingering stares, into the hallway which was far more empty.

"What's up with you?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest. You felt his gaze on your face, making it warm even more. Although that didn't seem quite possible with how feverish every inch of your skin felt. You looked down at your shoes, trying to stall the confession.

"I don't want you dating anyone." You said finally, jealously arising yet again as you remember that girl flirting with Sal. He let out a huff of confusion, his eyes still directly on you. Crap, you had to explain more.

"Seeing those girls flirt with you or hearing them make those vile comments about the things they want to do to you. It makes me so angry, it isn't fair. I don't want you dating anyone except for me. I want you to be my boyfriend." You ranted, feeling your blood boil as you remember all the times you had gotten jealous.

When Sal froze, you realized what you said. Oh no no no, he is going to reject you and never talk to you again. If only there was a self destruct button on your body you could press in this moment.

He kept staring at you, making you wish you could see beneath his mask to have a guess at how he was feeling. How disgusted he might be at your ridiculous feelings for him.

"why do you like....me?" He finally asked, sounding shocked that you could have feelings for him. Your gaze shot back up to meet his, and you saw the surprise (and dare you say, happiness?) in his eye.

"Why wouldn't I like you, Sal? You're so amazing and god I love you so much I think I've gone insane." You replied, feeling almost breathless with this string of honesty. His body finally relaxed and you could almost sense the smile beneath his mask.

"I love you too, [Name.]" Sal replies quietly, "Can I be your boyfriend?"

You felt your lips part with surprise, not believing your ears. Sal must have noticed your shock because he laughed and leaned closer, interlacing your hand with his deliciously cold fingers.

"Yes, you can be my boyfriend." You said, rambling slightly. You must've been injected with a dose of caffeine because you kissed his mask right where his lips lay under. Then you ran away, giggling like a lunatic. You stopped in a hallway, feeling flushed and faint and giddy and ridiculous.

Finally that boy truly was yours.

[topthreedetectives]

ace attorney x pokemon teams! (mostly investigations characters but with phoenix wright)

warning! yapping incoming!

these were all formulated with everything up to aa4 + investigations 1 and 2 in mind as i have not played past that yet! i've already made raymond shields/eddie fender's pokemon team so that doesn't show up here- but it exists!!

before i go into the teams, in this universe the prosecutor and defense attorney badges have been replaced to look more like these pokemon (this is important for later)

now, the investigator himself:

his doublade was given to him by his father before his passing. yes, it is a sword pokemon referencing his last name, but it also has outstanding defensive and offensive strategies. it used to be a defense attorney's pokemon, so it only makes sense that it's a good defender, too! miles himself has proven to be skilled at both as well. (also if you look at my other post about ray's team, his aegislash is related to miles' doublade!)

his gallade was also given to him back when it was a kirlia, but from manfred von karma instead of his father. it is yet another blade pokemon, and similarly to doublade, specializes in both offense and defense. it can defend others with its arm blades, but it can also use them to deal devestating blows very quickly

skarmory is another sharp mon, given to him by manfred. i have less reasoning for this one compared to the other blades, i just think it looks like a mon miles would own. i see it as his fly mon that he uses when it's more convenient to fly via bird than with a private jet (as long as it isn't raining)

his ninetales was also a gift from manfred, given to miles when it was a vulpix. it's very intelligent and fits the whole elegant thing he's got going on

it's hard for me to explain with words why he has an espeon but i mean. of COURSE he has an espeon. yk?? back in elementary, he found three abandoned eevee with larry and phoenix. they each decided to convince their families to let them have one, and miles' later evolved into espeon

finally his dartrix! it was given to him by gregory when it was a rowlet. not only do they have the same hair and similar fancy neck accessories, but they are both extremely precise with their attacks- until they aren't. dartrix spend a lot of time making sure they look their best and get distracted if something about their appearance needs fixing, and that feels very miles edgeworth to me

he also has some pet pokemon!!

the rockruff and shiny sinistea were his and his father's pets, and the persian was from von karma.

as you've probably noticed, most of his mons were given to him or passed down from his father figures. the only exception is espeon

next, that man...

he has a pidgeot that he mega evolves, and while i could say it makes sense to be there because it's a common route 1 bird, i'm going to be completely upfront and say its only actual reason for being on his team is the matching hair lmao

his sylveon was one of the eevee he found with miles and larry. it's the perfect eeveelution for him!!! picturing feenie with a sylveon is the cutest fucking thing ever i love them <3

arcanine are very loyal and protective, and they aren't the kind of mon to shy away from danger- very on par with phoenix. it also parallels miles' ninetales

he got his goomy shortly before the feenie trial, and it's the whole reason he got sick in the first place (he didn't realize just how germy goomy were)

yet another mon i can't quite explain the placement of, he has a cinderace. do you see the vision.

lastly, togedemaru. silly spiky hedgehog mon. need i say more.

next up, the butz-

his smeargle makes art with him and they each help each other hone their skills. he got it as soon as he set his mind to becoming an artist, and they've been inseparable since

he has a magikarp and a feebas because he thinks gyarados looks super cool and strong and milotic would be perfect to have as a model for his art. he can't evolve his pokemon to save his life though, so it's doubtful they will ever achieve their final form. he still loves them, though

there is ONE pokemon he's managed to evolve, which was his umbreon. it was one of the eevee he found with miles and phoenix. the one mon on his team he could evolve was the one that only required a strong friendship. speaking of, you may or may not have noticed that miles, phoenix, and larry's eevee all evolved via friendship......

his wimpod is not only just as cowardly as him, but it also spits out poisonous liquid when startled. that liquid happens to be very smelly, and when something smells... well, you know the rest! he really wants it to evolve into a super cool mon, but despite its inability to do so under larry's training, he still cares for it

he has a luvdisc that he brings around on his first dates for him and whoever he's with at the time to "discover" together. he does it to bring good luck to his relationships, as it is believed to bring about everlasting love between couples who see it. this, however, is obviously fiction, considering his relationships last for a couple months at best, despite his efforts

even in the depths of night, when no other bird dares to take flight!

she has two corvid pokemon. corvisquire are known to use tools (cough cough little thief) and murkrow love anything shiny. i considered giving her a tinkatuff for a short time, until i remembered that she would probably hate that entire line for opposing the corviknight line lmao

floragato is mischievous, dexterous, and likes to pull pranks every now and then. they are GREAT friends, and their antics oftentimes raise poor dadworth's anxiety to a dangerous degree. also, fun fact, kay is a cat person!! ...well, she's more of a bird person, but she does still like cats!

her gengar was inherited from her father. similar to floragato, it is mischievous and likes to pull pranks. it is also very stealthy and likes to hide in the shadows

frogadier is a ninja pokemon, so of course kay would love it! they are very skilled climbers and possess many cool ninja-like skills kay would be obsessed with. they train frequently together

finally her zorua, another mischievous mon. it can create illusions and disguise itself, and that would make it a great team member for the yatagarasu!

lang zi says: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWL!

LOTS. OF. DOGGIES.

as i was making his team, i was concerned having only dogs/wolves would be a little boring or too obvious. after some reflection, i realized lang would 100% only have canine pokemon on his team so i stopped worrying about it

these mons are fierce, loyal, and care for their pack. they all fit very well! they can all howl at the moon with lang and bark at anyone who gets in the way of his investigation. except lycanroc. dusk form lycanroc don't really bark, but lang and the rest more than make up for it

oh? what's this? i'm giving luxray to yet another one of my favorite characters? yes, yes i am. and what're you gonna do about it?! i am unstoppable!!!! i know luxray is more of a lion than a wolf but that shiny is just too perfect. it's still sort of a 'pack' animal anyway so the luxray stays!! i like to imagine it's a bit of an outcast when it comes to other luxray because it acts more 'dog'-like than the others. lang noticed it was rejected from its own 'pack' and took it in in a heartbeat. while unable to exactly howl or bark, it does its best and lang still sees no difference between it and the rest of the pack (lang zi says: trans rights!)

he's also raising a houndoor pup which i think is adorable <3

detective gummy time, pal!

i completely forgot about this until a few days ago, but jake marshall gave him a cactus to talk to about all of his problems. in this universe, the cactus he gave gumshoe was actually a cacnea

he has a yamper nicknamed missile, of course! it's not really fully his since it's a police dog, but they have a really close bond and it's practically his at this point

he has a gumshoos because.... gumshoos.... gumshoe.... get it............. really though they are both very determined and not easily gotten rid of, and both can withstand being very very hungry, which gumshoe has to do often because miles keeps docking his pay. he never lets his mons go hungry, of course! just a lil thing they have in common (poor scruffy)

his fidough helps him make dough for noodles so he can cook homemade ramen. this helps him save money when he needs to and he can spend quality time with his lil guy in the process!

his magnemite acts as his metal detector in universe and is a police mon. like yamper, it's ended up being more of gumshoe's pokemon than the police's

palafin. palafin. pal. afin. ....... outside of the name though, it's very loyal and will do whatever it takes to help out its friends when they're in trouble. when it really needs to pull through, it will! just like gummy <3

make way, foolish fools! it's fran time!

obligatory vine whip mon, a shiny servine. it whips its foes relentlessly and is very prideful. due to its pride, it doesn't like to work with others and takes a long time to warm up to people and pokemon. very franny like, if i do say so myself

she has a shiny gardevoir that was given to her as a kirlia by her father, and it was given to her at the same time as miles' kirlia. she mega evolves it in battle

her shiny starmie is a symbol of her being a prosecutor, and she specifically went on a mission to find a shiny. i think she'd be a shiny hunter in this universe! feels very in character for her. i like to think her shiny obsession started when manfred gave her the shiny kirlia

her shiny galarian rapidash is also very prideful and fearless, and is one of the reasons she is referred to as a "wild mare" by others. she preferred the shiny, so she GOT the shiny

her alolan ninetales was given to her by manfred at the same time as miles' ninetales (both were vulpix at the time), and they are very close. it is a very calm and collected mon, and it helps franziska feel more at ease when the pressure of everything starts to get to her

the alolan persian was yet another mon given to her by her father at the same time as miles' persian. it's one of the many prideful mons franziska has, and it's also very hard to work with- unless your name is franziska von karma, of course!

(last few! spoilers for aai2, in case you haven't played it yet)

now, debeste team for debeste prosecutor!

he has a kricketune to conduct for, and they play music for his quaxwell to dance to. they like to put on shows for others to marvel at (their performances leave much to be desired, though.) he and his quaxwell both put a lot of effort into their hair (canon!), and a part of their morning routine is spending hours in front of the mirror together to perfect it. they also both put a lot of effort into their work, even if their prosecuting and dancing skills.... leave a lot of room for improvement

his leafeon has MATCHING QUESTION MARK HAIR OH MY GOD. i knew i wanted to give him an eeveelution because he 100% had an eevee, and when i saw leafeon. i nearly exploded.

he has a bulbasaur because "its pokedex number is #1, that means it's the best pokemon!" he gave it an eviolite and makes sure it's always carrying it

the cubone cries VERY often just like him, and i like to think that once sebby comes to terms with his father being horrible and lets a lot of that baggage go, the cubone grows from the experience, too, and evolves with him (im not crying theres just something in my eyes i swear)

he's got a deino, and to be completely honest, it's there because of the matching hair. what can i say, it's too perfect to pass up!!

prepare for the goddess of law's righteous judgement!

yes, she has a legendary virizion- shiny, at that!! i figured if anyone would have a legendary on their team it would be her. it's a sword of justice, after all. it's also the most intelligent of the swords of justice trio. ALSO. in pokemon reburst, the swords of justice are captured by GREAT GAVEL. as in verity gavelle. anyway-

dragonair are known as the "divine pokemon", and in this universe the blue gems on justine's clothes are meant to represent the blue crystals on dragonair

the flowers worn by yellow florges are the 'lion lilies' in this universe. they are protective and devote themselves to what they see as important. for florges, this is its flowerbed, and to verity, it's the law

leavanny care deeply for younger pokemon and are very parental. they would both do anything it took to protect their children, even if it meant going against the goddess of law herself

her shiny delphox.... i'm just gonna leave one of its pokedex entries and a segment from justine's fandom page here:

"it leaves burn marks in the ground with the flame at the tip of its wand. long ago, people used the shapes of these burn marks for divination."

"when gavelle investigates crime scenes, she sometimes swings her gavel, hitting the floor and leaving marks."

lastly, her bronzor is based on the yata no kagami. the badge judges wear in japan is based on it, and it's also the basis for verity's japanese name, mikagami, which means water mirror. the mirror is a symbol of god-like wisdom, honesty, and the truth. bronzor are said to reflect the truth, being based on the yata no kagami and all. they were literally made for each other. it's the perfect mon.

nowaynowaynowayyyyyy! it's mr monkey man!

he OBVIOUSLY has the do no evil monkeys on his team, he's literally the three of them stacked in a clown costume (his simipour is evolved because LOOK AT IT. they are the same)

speaking of clown, he has a mr mime. no need to elaborate

his alolan meowth is the one that becomes an armrest instead of the regular cat. alolan meowth are selfish and manipulative, and become hysterical if things go south for them. sound familiar?

his slakoth is there to keep up his silly harmless guy persona, but it later evolves into vigoroth to beat the absolute shit out of him once his true nature is revealed

thanks for coming to my tedtalk <3

if you have any suggestions for the current teams or teams for characters i haven't created yet, i'd love to hear them!

[yumiis]

headcannons for getting drunk with tgc?

like how high their tolerance to alcohol is,

what they usually have,

and stuff similar?

ignore my 'ideas' if you dont wanna do them <3

🫧 anon

absolutely!! i love making hcs like this (i also won't be including larry bc he isn't of legal age to drink :P)

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ ﾟ。 drunk ; tgc boys

　 ﾟ･｡･ﾟ

genre/type: fluff/humor, headcanons

read below!

ISAAC;

absolute unbeatable tolerance. insane tolerance. dude can take 6 shots of everclear and still walk a straight line.

you've only seen isaac blackout ONCE, and it was complete accident. you hadn't seen isaac drinking that much, but he was actually borderline drunk. he asked you in a pretty sober sounding voice, "how many drinks have i had? should i stop?" you say, "i've only seen you take like 2 shots. drink some more!"

horrible move. he blacked out and also woke up with the world's worst hangover.

ever since then though, his tolerance, like i said, is rock solid.

he likes the classic drinks, so i'd say he likes a good screwdriver.

super clingy and COCKY when he's drunk.

drowning you in kisses and hugs, and he goes, "babe, i'm soooo hot. i'm soooo hot and sexy.."

"sure you are."

your two options are to kill his ego or boost it, but it kills you too much to deflate his ego.

"how cocky was i last night?"

"yeah."

TANNER;

moderately normal tolerance, maybe a TINY bit lower than the average person in their mid-20's.

like, if we're measuring in shots of vodka again, like 4 1/2 shots he'd be gone. not black out gone, but "i'm gonna talk about every celebrity i could probably pull" gone.

he's such a YAPPER when he's drunk dude.

will probably do the trend of writing fake band names to try and make you laugh

he's dancing around to loud ass music in the kitchen, invites you to dance with him, he immediately starts shoving himself against you

he won't shut up about how much he loves you

he's definitely got his head in your lap and he's making you play with his hair and listen to him talk

however you have to stop him talking at a certain point, because he'll just start having a crisis and making himself sad.

he's never blacked out, but he has terrible hangovers.

favorite drink? he strikes me as a daiquiri kinda guy. he'd love them.

but if it's more casual drinking at home, he's happy with some soju.

NICK;

literally AVERAGE tolerance.

about 2-3 shots of vodka has him tipsy, 4-6 has him drunk, and don't give him more than 8, he might start drunkenly making an album.

he's not a clear liquor guy, he prefers browns like brandy or scotch.

there is almost ALWAYS a bottle of whiskey in the fridge for nick, he never runs out.

he drinks regularly, but he doesn't HEAVILY drink on those nights.

he's super sleepy when he's drunk. he could literally fall asleep anywhere if given the opportunity

he could be laying on the floor to "stretch his back" he's asleep 10 minutes later

you have to carry this dude to bed (and if you can't do it alone, isaac helps you)

like i said he prefers drinking brown liquors, so i think he'd maybe like a tequila sunrise or just straight whiskey

BLAKE;

"i have a ROCK SOLID tolerance!" dead in 3 shots. don't listen to him lie to you

every time you and the guys go out for dinner at like chilis or something, blake orders a margarita and everyone sighs in unison

the margarita gets him on the verge of drunk. just a little past tipsy.

he can HARDLY casually drink with anyone because his tolerance is just THAT bad

you constantly pick at him for it but he's just accepted it at this point

he's so SILLY when he's drunk man

cracking jokes that do NOT land at all and are not funny unless he's talking to a bunch of drunk people

"so the.. uh.. what? yeah.. uh.."

he suddenly forgets english

he can barely formulate a SINGLE sentence and he's basically speaking in mumbles

he's like speaking in fancy or speaking in riddles like a troll under the bridge or some shit

you have to baby him while he's drunk or he won't know what the hell is going on

i think he honestly.. just likes whatever he can get his hands on.

[berrystainedsue]

28th march fic rec!

A trace of you (30K) by SweetieR

Louis and Harry met one day of April 2019 at a cinema and it was love at first sight for both of them. Louis was so sure they would spend the rest of their lives together, it was an evidence. Flashback to 5 years later, one Sunday of April 2025 where Louis is cold, lonely and single. He goes to his closet for a sweater and then has his life turned upside down when he falls upon one of Harry's old sweater there. Can such a simple piece of clothing bring two people back together or will it be too late and that sweater will allow them to say goodbye forever?

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Relaxed Daddy, Tamed Bratty (9K) by SomeDovesFly | @somedovesfly

“Oh, you are in so much fucking trouble,” Louis laughed, but couldn’t glare since he was still blindfolded. And Harry couldn’t talk back since the earplugs were still in, so he wiggled a dance on top of Louis’s hips to show he was pleased with himself. He even dared to draw little Xs over Louis’s nipples with a smile shape across his tummy while he listened to Louis’s threats.

Louis threw his head back down on the pillow in not-so-convincing anger. “Well, finish what you started then. Better use your mouth while you still can.”

or

Established d/s Larry. Louis has a stressful day at work and asks subby Harry to give him sensory deprivation to relax and decompress. However, the brat in him can't resist playing with his tied up Dom and Louis is more than happy to give him some fun-ishment for misbehaving.

or

A realistic BDSM story about how couples use kink for not just sex, but also stress relief

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Dreaming of You (30K) by louislittletomlintum | @louislittletomlintum

“Do you like cigarettes after sex?”

Harry blanched, wondering why on earth Louis would ask him a question like that.

“Oh, well, I - well I have asthma, and ehm, I’m actually a virgin, so,” Harry managed to stutter out, answering purely on instinct as he fiddled with the edge of the vinyl case he was holding and looked at Louis nervously.

He met Louis’ eye after a few seconds and saw an amused glint, one of his curved eyebrows raised in question as he nodded down at the vinyl in Harry’s hands. Harry looked down and was met with three words in white, serif typeface against a misty black background:

Cigarettes After Sex

or the one where harry's in his mid-20's so it's probably about time louis took his virginity

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Say Something (105K) by kingsofeverything | @kingsofeverything

At fifty years old and recently divorced, Omega Harry Styles isn't interested in dating. When his doctor suggests a heat and rut matching service, he signs up out of necessity. It’s the only use he has for an Alpha in his life.

Twenty-eight-year-old Alpha Louis Tomlinson aims to change that.

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Chasing Empty Spaces (79K) by Lis (domesticharry)

The year is 1934 and Harry Styles was to inherent the largest tobacco firm in the south. His parents have picked out the “perfect” girl for him to marry and he has the privilege of receiving the highest education possible. The problem was, Harry hadn’t realized he didn’t actually want any part of that future until he met a mechanic named, Louis Tomlinson.

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Halloween (59K) by SomeDovesFly | @somedovesfly

Follow Harry and Louis through 6 Halloweens in a sex, drugs, and rock and roll AU in a time before cellphones or internet.

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starin' back from the lookin' glass (there stood a woman where a half-grown boy had stood) (23K) by 4ureyesonly28 | @evilovesyou

Harry squeezed his feet into the black heels his mother handed him from their little satin bag and stood up, slightly wobbly for a few seconds before he caught himself.

“They’re small on you, I know,” Mama said quietly as she went and grabbed the mirror. “You’ll have to use your first money to get a place to stay, but after that you need to buy shoes that fit you…”

She was still speaking, but Harry couldn’t hear her anymore over the blood rushing in his ears as she turned the mirror and made him look at himself.

He looked… He was… He felt like a woman. Where just under an hour ago, he’d seen a boy, barely a young man, shaving off the bits of his beard that had started to grow in so late, he now saw a woman. She was as real as he had ever seen. His posture, unsure and shy, morphed into hers, shoulders straight and hip cocked as she tried her best to balance herself on the high heels she’d inherited.

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(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction (48K) by SwimmingInAChampagneSea

“And finally, Harry’s so-called quirky trait is probably the one that requires most getting used to," Zayn says, smirking. Louis looks at Harry, whose only reaction is rolling his eyes so hard Louis thinks they could get stuck. “It’s normal and natural,” Harry sighs. “Right, so lads, Harry masturbates a lot. Like a lot. And he is not quiet," Niall says, grinning and looking at Harry like he sort of admires him for it. Louis looks at Harry again. He has squared his shoulders and is looking defiantly around the room. Louis is intrigued. This could be fun. “Are you a leftie?” Louis asks, obviously looking to tease Harry. Harry sighs so profoundly that Louis is impressed with how much air he can blow out in one go. "I am not," Harry answers, looking mildly annoyed. "So, how are you getting by now?" Louis asks, generally interested. "Not well," Harry mumbles, looking genuinely annoyed.

OR Harry broke his arm and can't pleasure himself the way he likes. Louis has no intention of helping him out AT ALL, but alas, here they are.

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stat time! (clearly i havent read a lot this month im going to blame severance for taking over my life sorry not sorry)

856,607 words read (-23% than last month)

16 fics read (-20% less than last month)

15 authors (-25% less than last month)

feel free to send me an ask if you have read a fic ive recommended! i'd love to talk about the fic with you <3

[0yuri-chan0]

~ Don't leave me ~

Wait.. Wait Sally Face fandom isn't dead? YES! No, because I love sally face like he a murderer but hes my murderer 💅 So you guys like demolished Levi Ackerman and I'm not mad about it. I know this is basic but he's gonna show you his face for the first time. Fluff with a pinch of romance because y'all eat that shit up anyways no more ranting. Enjoy!!

Paring - Sal Fisher (Sally face) x Gn reader

Warnings - None

Genre - Fluff

Yes it was true you and Sal knew eachother for the longest. It also wasn't a secret to the group you liked Sal, well everyone knew. I mean who wouldn't fall hard for the blue haired boy he was sweet and gentle, caring, selfless. Basically near definition of perfect in your eyes. But in his, not so much he didn't see himself like you saw him. He knew he fit the description of a kind soul but definitely not a beautiful one. It was all because of his face, sure you never saw it only Larry, Ash, and Todd had. And if your honest it bugged you a lot, not just because he didn't show you his face no, no, no not that. It was the feeling that he didn't trust you enough to do so. The feeling of sadness that washed over you every time you thought about it. He told you before that it was a hard topic for him to talk about. And you respected that; you really did, it just confused you why you hadn't seen it in all the years of knowing Sal Fisher. So of course you had to find out.

It was a normal day, well not so normal Larry couldn't hang out with you and Sal because he was with Ash at the towns oh so very small mall. Todd said he couldn't hang out because he had a science project which was fine before, you and Sal would hang out all the time doing whatever without the gang. You didn't know why this time was any different. It was awkward you both sitting in his room watching TV as gizmo layed on the bed next to you. Sal on your other side playing on his gear boy. You couldn't help but look at him stealing a couple of glances his way.

Not wanting to get caught staring at him like so many times before. You averted your gaze back to the TV. Now acting like nothing was wrong, it was eating at you and on top of that you didn't think he'd trusted you to show his face. You usually were a outgoing person, a person who voices their concerns. Being quiet was unusual for you and of course Sal noticed, I mean if he did he didn't say anything. You couldn't just blurt out "Sal why don't you show me your face? Do you not trust me?" That would make him anxious and you didn't want to do that to him. I mean who would do that do him? Not you. You looked back at him playing his gear boy. His long slender fingers pressing buttons skillfully might you add. A soft sigh escaping your lips. Trying to hype yourself up to ask him or at least express your feelings. Basically in that moment you were trying to grow a pair as fast as you could.

You opened your mouth and closed it. You needed something to say it could be like 'Sal I need to ask you something' then ease you way into telling him. That was your best option and only option, so you really didn't have a choice. "Sal." You called his name in a soft manner. He only hummed in response not looking away from his gear boy. "Why don't.. Am I the only one who hasn't seen you're face, Sally?" His fingers stop moving in result his character died. His screen showing a red 'Game Over' his head turned to you his eyes focussed on yours.

Did you mess up? Maybe but you really can't think at the moment. You turned your gaze to the floor and exited a deep breath through your nostrils. "What I mean is like. I feel like.. I know I'm. Probably the last to see your face in the gang and I know it takes a lot of trust to let me see it." And there you go, you were rambling nervously because he was looking at you. Your stomach doing flips and heart beating so fast it might give you a heart attack. "You want too see it.. My face?" Now those seven words stopped you from talking. Lifting your head up you looked him in his one good eye the other a prothsic. You nodded your head slowly. "I don't want to force you to show me your face. I want you to be positive you want to." You started picking at your hang skin on your pointer finger. "I want to" Was all he said before he uncliped both the buckles. He held the mask up on his face with his hand and looked down. The gear boy clearly discarded on the bed.

"Don't be scared of me [Y/n]" He said in a shaking voice already very nervous. You sat on your knees facing him on the bed you raised your hand slowly hooking your fingers under his mask. Your pace slow giving him time to pull away if he wanted. He didn't "I would never be scared of you Sal. Your my best fucking friend." He let out a sharp breath when you lifted his mask. His heart was pounding his plams sweaty. He quickly grabbed your wrist with his free hand. "Promise me you won't leave me.." His voice wavered while he spoke. Your gaze soften and a pleasant, calming smile appeared on your face. "I wouldn't dream of it." You truly did love Sal. You looked him into this eyes while he retracted both of his hands back to his side.

You slowly pulled his prosthetic away from his face. Once you saw his face your grip tightened on the plastic mask. His face had a lot of scarring. His nose was deformed as well as his jaw. His jaw was crooked his cheek torn showing some of his top teeth. You could tell chunks of meat were removed from his cheeks. You could clearly tell his left eye was a prosthetic, it being more dull and only staring straight ahead instead of looking at the ground like his other eye was. You brought your hand to his cheek gently. His flinched soon his eyes finally meeting yours. "You're beautiful.." Was all you could say your thumb stroking his cheek gliding over his scars gently. Tears falling from his eyes with ease his hand grabbing your wrist once more. "You really mean that?" He asked in disbelief once you muttered out those two words.

You nodded and leaned forward your lips connecting with a bit of difficulty. You knew this man was touched starved so you let him get use to it. His lips were kinda chapted and the kiss was kinda clumsy but it felt so good at the same time. You felt him visibly relax as you pulled away with a small smile on your face only to be pulled back by his hands behind your neck reconnecting your lips to his. The kiss got more desperate, and more needy.

You finally pulled away with a airy chuckle. "I mean it." He smiled it honestly amazed you how you never saw him smile but it was better then you imagine. "I want... Will you be lover?" You grin and kissed his forehead. "You don't know how long I've been waiting to hear those words." He laughed and grabbed your waist pulling you closer to him. "How long?" He said with a raised brow. "Too long" you mused and kissed him again.

At least you finally know what's under the mask and its beautiful...

Its finished! I had a hard time with this for no reason. Thank you for reading. I have another problem the you guys can solve 🙏 I have no clue what to write next so my request are open to you! Please use it 👀

[coolmanjohnny]

SAW: (unrated) rant

Okay. I just watched the unrated version of Saw (2004) in theaters. So for some reason, they alter the ending for the unrated version of Saw. I have no idea why they chose to do this. I didn't see much discussion going over the details so I thought I'd go over it and why I think its inferior to the original cut. (Forgive me if I seem nitpick-y, I just love the original film so much haha. Totally fine if you like the unrated ver., I'm just sharing my thoughts here.)

To start, the unrated is advertised as a version with more gore/blood, which it does fine on that part. There are a few extra seconds of shots, for instance, the scene where Amanda is sifting through organs, some of the crime scene photos, and the wire trap maze is slightly longer. Here is a good article that goes over the Director's Cut with more details if you are interested. (I believe the Director's Cut is the same, if not very similar, to the unrated version? Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.) Also, I think the colors are also less blue? I can't confirm this though. I believe there may be a few other details changed as well, but they're not super relevant. Feel free to share any ones I'm missing just for fun though.

These extra shots are fine, thumbs up emoji. My problem starts and ends with the final moments of Saw (unrated). This is Tumblr. You all know the ending to Saw and are probably obsessed with it. It's incredibly impactful and angsty. Its one of my favorite ending sequences of all time. I still think about Adam being left to die alone often. RIP.

Now, lets go over what's changed in Saw (unrated)'s ending:

Some of the final lines are cut out. (Why???)

For some reason, they cut the line where Adam asks, "Am I gonna be okay?" and Larry turns back and says, "I wouldn't lie to you." Why would they do this? I don't know. I can only speculate. Maybe they thought that it contradicted with Lawrence's character, since he is in fact a liar/adulterer? Maybe they thought it was too "hopeful"? Homophobia? (joke)

I think that it's really a shame, because it makes Larry much more likable imo. This one moment is representative of his character development in the film. There are a lot of complex emotions tied with that one line. For once, Lawrence isn't lying to Adam. He truly does want to help. At the same time, you can tell that he feels uncertain. He doesn't know if he actually will be able to make it back in time (if even at all).

Notice how he responds to Adam's question in a roundabout way. He doesn't know if Adam will be okay.

In a way, Jigsaw's trap did work. Lawrence learned empathy. LMAO. It is also makes Adam so much more tragic, any last glimmers of hope he had left get ripped away as soon as he realizes that Jigsaw isn't who he thought it was. They are both fucked. (Ignore that Saw 3D exists for a second here, lol. I definitely think that the original implication here was that Larry is screwed. Either Kramer gets to him, or he bleeds out.)

Here is the original scene for reference:

2. The end credits are changed.

Saw ends with Adam's haunting screams bleeding into the end credits. There's about 20-30 seconds of silence/very subtle music. Then, it leads into the song "Bite The Hand that Bleeds" by Fear Factory. I just LOVE the angst.

Now, lets see what the unrated version is like. (I had to really dig to find this lol.) Obviously, there is no longer licensed music. It instead plays the "Saw theme". (I believe Hello Zepp/Overture is the official name of the song?)

It's...fine. (Once again, forgive me for nitpicking. I'm starting to think that I may be overreacting a bit, lol.)

I sort of understand why they would change the licensed music. It makes the first film feel more "connected" with the sequels; now they all have matching theme songs. (Another idea is that they simply didn't get the rights back to the original song for the re-release. I'd have to do more research on this.) However, it still makes me sad, lol. I just love how edgy and aggressively 2000s the original end credits feel. It matches the film's tone so well imo. The filmography of Saw reminds me a lot of early 2000s nu-metal music videos (unique colors, over-edited to hell, etc.).

I want to really emphasize the importance of film preservation in this post. Thankfully, the original theatrical cut of Saw is pretty easily accessible. (However, this isn't the case for all films. Star Wars is probably the most famous example.) I am just a little saddened that some first-time viewers will end up watching this version of the film without being aware of these changes. I love Saw so much you guys

[hernakedmuse]

Lily Evans Headcanons

Lily didn't grow up anything like Regulus or James

She came from a family very rich in love but not money

She grew up in a two bedroom flat in Cokesworth which isn't a very nice area

But the flat is decorated and well dressed in kitschy thrift store chachkis and hand me down heirlooms and always smells of cinnamon and aging flowers

She shares a room with her sister who used to be her best friend in the whole world but only sneers at her half of the room that's dressed in Beltane festival posters and Beatles vinyl art.

Tuney has new friends now like Karen Hill and Tina Cartwright, and she doesn't like to be called Tuney anymore…

Sev is her neighbor, but ever since she started befriending the Marauders in sixth year, he didn't want to be her best friend anymore either and didn't call her very nice names…

Lily doesn't know why no one wants to stay her friend, they all end up hating her.

It's her bogart, her biggest one, of all her loved ones leaving her, because it had actually happened.

Maybe that's why she kept telling James Potter she didn't want to be his girlfriend

Maybe it's why even though she knew Regulus was becoming more interested in her when he replaced Sev as her potions partner, she played it off.

She couldn't go through losing more people she loves.

She felt like she was always the one who loved more.

But she learned soon that was no longer the case.

Marlene was still her friend, and Dorcas, and Remus,Pandora, and then she got new friends like James, Regulus, Evan, and even Junior.

Especially, Remus she thinks has always really been her true best friend since third year when she was performing a full moon rituals of making moon water, but she heard something, sounding like someone being torn in two.

Lily has always been a brave little one, which was why she was placed into Gryffindor instead of Hufflepuff (everyone thinks she was almost in Ravenclaw because she's so clever and loved her books, but her kindness and compassion and the natural comforting and cozy aura she possessed nearly had her wearing yellow and black)

But she heard the sound of a boy in pain and went into the dark and most haunted wood in Scotland with her mason jar of moon water and a home-knit jumper from the loving hands of her mother, to stumble upon a lone Remus Lupin, one of the Marauders, her best friend at the time’s sworn enemies. Out of loyalty to Severus she would stay away from them, despite her being best friends with a Slytherin and snubbing (unintentionally) the most loved boys in Gryffindor, who were also her dormmates friends, it put her in a sticky situation, and ostracized her from the rest of her house. But friend, loyalty, or whatever, someone was in pain, someone was in terrible pain and they needed her.

She nearly went to him until she saw him turn into something she hadn't even learned about in class yet, something she knew about only because being a child of muggle society, werewolves are popular creatures of myth especially in horror films, but this was no creature of myth this was her classmate, and this was no horror film, but a Monday night at school.

She didn't wear silver because she's allergic to it but she had a feeling that was probably a theory created by a werewolf who didn't want anyone to know their weaknesses.

He was no longer the sweet, shy, boy who she sat with in Care of Magical Creatures and shared kind words with, well he had to be he was in there fighting. She climbed up the tree in the wood and by the time he had caught scent of his potential prey, she was too high up in the tree to climb after , just aggressively snarling until a poor doe passed by and he sunk his teeth into it flesh and bone, red blood seeping through the slits of his gnarling fangs.

Lily sat in that tree all night, watching Remus Lupin become victim to such horror, and it wasn't anything like she imagined, it wasn't anything like Larry Talbot.

Her emerald eyes were wide and stricken and unblinking with hot tears running down her cold cheeks from the Scottish autumn night, she was shivering uncontrollably but not from the cold.

And she was crying but not from fear (and thank God she would climb her grandparents trees in their wood behind their cottage when she would spend summers with them in Wales)

Lily was crying because the sweetest boy she has ever met, the kindest boy she ever had spoken to, went through what no one ever should, and he's just a boy.

And once a month every month, he'd have to have his flesh ripped off until it was no longer his and become something that wasn't in his nature, and she loved him for it she loved him for being so brave, and that night she loved him in a way that you can't romantically, she loved him like not a brother but something dearer perhaps a twin or your own child.

When dusk approached and he returned to himself covered in scars and naked and alone, she shakily climbed down the tree with the barks and twine scraping and biting at her, her jar of moon water had collapsed into the earth and shattered and the water had evaporated over hours.

She took off her jumper for she had a long sleeve shirt underneath, she rubbed Remus skin and whispered healing spells that mended him some, it was a secret she knew and no one else that she could do, and now he knew too. She dressed him in her jumper and his tattered jeans.

He has woken somewhat and was horrified that Lily saw him saw it, but she shook her head with tears in her eyes and he looked into her eyes and saw warmth and understanding and she told him she'll take care of him.

They stopped in the kitchens, the elves made them a pot of hot chocolate and then she helped him to his dorm, the Marauders.

They were best friends ever since and she was the first to know of his lycanthropy.

It was one of the many reasons why James fell so in love with her, she's so open minded and empathetic and he would never love anyone who didn't accept his mates, but she did more than accept, she loved them too.

The less she was under Severus’ hold the more she saw how James isn't a bully or looks down at others, she saw he was fiercely and downright scary protective of those he considers under his wing especially those he loves, and Lily understood how it was and is to love so hard. She saw Severus pick up on bad behavior and it would slip out sometimes with her, and she could see how James didn't like that, she could see him not bother anyone else who seemed weaker, she saw how he took Peter Pettigrew under his wing, she saw it all, and how he looked after everyone that he is quite the nurturer and mother hen, and daresay she found it attractive.

Because she was around Severus she met the Slytherins quite intimately, not just the ones who were blood prejudice but ones who weren't like the clairvoyant Pandora Rosier, they were partners in Divination and loved tarot cards, crystals, and they were both very good at looking into the future but Panda (As Lily christened her), was better. She was very intrigued by Lily's telling of muggle witches, pagans who celebrated the five point star and seasons like Yule, Samhain, Beltane, and Lammas and Imbolc, and Mabon.

Severus didn't like Pandora because she ended up introducing her to the other Slytherins which was his job he thought.

Evan Rosier and Barty Crouch Jr. Are well feared in the halls of Hogwarts, but the eccentric serpents found Lily's warmth, her tendency to not be offended, and slight coddling (chastising them for not wearing their cloaks and scarves when it's too cold, knitting them mittens, lending them muggle books to read since they had an addiction to books as well, during holidays she would owl them her baked goods and etc. ) they couldn't help but become attached to the muggleborn, maybe opening their minds more, and they became very protective over the redhead.

Then there was Regulus

Antisocial, unfeeling, complete opposite of his passionate and flamboyant brother.

He always secretly, harbored feelings for the auburn haired beauty.

Doing small things to harm Severus for treating her like an object or someone groomed to be his lover and nothing like a friend.

He and Severus always had an unspoken rivalry, Regulus excels in everything Severus thinks he does, including potions. He noticed he didn't like that Lily was better at it as well.

He watched Lily, how she never did anything in half, how every little thing mattered to her and everyone, how when she cared about you, you could feel it pour from her, like some goddess of love.

He was so envious of everyone who she touched and talked to, no one loved him, the boy he has a crush on is so in love with this love goddess and he couldn't envy him for it, instead he was confusingly just as beguiled by her as James is and as he is of James who would never want him because he's seemingly straight and Sirius probably told him a million and one horrible things about him to him!

(Although none of that is true)

Regulus craved love so much but he fears it just as much and does a top job disguising a requirement for it.

No one would give love to someone who is cold to everyone and remains aloof…

Except Lily noticed Regulus on his own, she said something to Sirius and the Marauders, and they couldn't say no to a begging Lily, so they would try to include Regulus but the Slytherin just kept rejecting their advances, except when James was the only one advancing.

When James would corner him by himself and talk about Quidditch, and they bonded over that and exchanged long glances and brief fingertip touches and brushes of shoulders, and they had more talks without his brother and his boyfriend present…

And Lily would knit him jumpers when she noticed him staring at the Rosier twins and Junior's with a slight glance of interest, she noticed he loved pumpkin anything whenever he ate at the dining hall, and when he was studying late she would bring him pumpkin and cream cheese muffins she made using the kitchen (the elves love her so she has free use of the kitchen) and pumpkin juice or hot apple-pumpkin cider.

She made it so hard to not fall in love with her

He had no idea she was doing these things because she has feelings for him as well as James, who she brings hot lavender and eucalyptus towels to after practice and blue chamomile pain balm.

She was kind to everyone, when Peter looked a bit lonely she made him chocolate chip cookies and knit him a hat, and with Sirius well she gave him the maternal comfort he never had and he'd go to her whenever he needed that specifically, plus in a way she brought his brother back to him and that's what he wanted always, secretly.

[stylesclarified]

In the Louis/Liam Gallagher post, you mentioned writing a post on Louis being a homophobic bully

You then said this:

"Louis cheated on Hannah with Eleanor and at first Hannah didn't know, so she and Louis were on good terms, but she has been openly very negative about Louis ever since late 2011."

Do you remember Hannah's brother tweeted that Hannah had caught him cheating with a man? And before that, while Louis was on X factor someone tweeted that Louis had bullied another boy at the school for being gay. That, and your other comment below

"think he's still trying to market himself this way because deep down he still wants the acceptance of his high school buddies and other men like them"

seems to represent, in my opinion, someone who willingly mocks gay men, or those who don't fit into a particular role, because it's not deemed cool by his friends. I'm not trying to turn this into a "is he gay, is he straight" discussion but reading your post, breaking down his people pleaser personality in a way, has me thinking that if he was gay or bi, he wouldn't want to come out because it wouldn't be seen as "cool" by his friends, or fit in with his faux Liam Gallagher tough guy persona. I think the only reason he stayed close to his Doncaster friends is because they're the only friendships he had so he feels the need to impress them. He didn't seem to bond with or make long lasting friendships in his time in the band. Sure he had Zayn, Liam and so on, but there isn't a real genuine friendship between him and anyone outside the band from that time.... compared to someone like harry who was always networking

I think his sexuality is somewhat important in all of this Liam Gallagher wannabe character he's playing because it seems to mirror his behaviour in high school (bullying gay people to fit in with his friends and putting on an act, and now he's laying on this chav act very thick to replicate his friends' behaviours to fit in. Seems to be a pattern)

I understand this message might be crossing a line discussing sexuality, but I would be interested in your opinion on how he wishes to be perceived by his friends, and the bullying claims

I'm going to quote stuff you say to answer, because this is very long.

Do you remember Hannah's brother tweeted that Hannah had caught him cheating with a man?

This didn't happen. Louis cheated on Hannah with Eleanor, not with a man. How do I know this? Well, Alana Burton.

Harry started working at W. Mandeville, a bakery in Holmes Chapel, when he was fourteen years old. Alana also worked there, she's from a nearby town that I'm not gonna name out of respect for the fact that she's not a celebrity and is quite private (Larries have spread this, though). Alana is two years older than Harry, so after a while working together, she moved to Manchester to go to university. She met Eleanor Calder there and they became roommates.

Harry then got put in 1D, they came in third in the X Factor, and then they toured with the rest of the contestants of that season. These are some of the X Factor tour dates:

Harry invited Alana to go to one of their shows — we don't know which one (presumably one of the Manchester shows). Alana brought friends, Eleanor being one of them. This is why they've always said that Louis introduced Louis and Eleanor.

Larries interpreted Harry being uncomfortable about this as him being heartbroken or jealous... No, he was probably perfectly aware of the fact that Louis had cheated. Harry got along really well with Hannah.

Larries also lied and said that Harry didn't get on with Eleanor, but that's absolutely not true.

This is Harry and Eleanor hanging out a few years ago. And yes, that's Eleanor. This is the pub right next to Harry's house, which Eleanor is been known to frequent. You could also see her dad in the video.

Anyway, tangent over.

This is the story Alana herself tells to her friends. There was a Larrie here a while ago who openly talked about this because she allegedly met one of Alana's friends. She gave details that the fandom didn't have at the time, like the fact that it happened during the X Factor tour.

Why did she do this? Well, when confirmed that he was about to become a father, Larries created a disgusting blog with "receipts" where everyone would submit theirs. She tried to use this as a receipt against the validity of Louis and Eleanor (I don't remember what her logic at the time was) and it backfired. As far as I'm aware, the posts are deleted. I THINK this is the Larrie that spread the "receipt":

I can't find anything else about this on her blog, but I'm pretty sure it was her and she just deleted everything. This is one of the OG huge Larrie blogs talking about it years later:

I don't generally take what Larries say seriously, but the fact is that all of these things align with what members of the band have said, with Harry hanging out with Alana (even their families together, as per the pictures I posted above), and with things I detailed in a second.

I mean, Louis himself had already sort of said it to Seventen Magazine (July 2012):

He didn't tell the entire story because in March 2011, Louis was still VERY MUCH with Hannah. In fact, she posted this pic on Easter, a month later:

And they wouldn't break up until July. Hannah took a break from Twitter July 17. I can't post her tweets because her account has been deactivated for years but I can post fan reactions to her tweets:

This next screenshot I could find on Google. Read it bottom to top, it starts July 17 and ends July 24. But basically, after her Twitter break, on July 24, Hannah vaguely referenced that she and Louis had broken up but that they were on good terms, to which Louis agreed.

Obviously, at the time, Hannah had no idea that Louis had met Eleanor several months prior and had... let's call it "kept in touch." Stanley Lucas was one of Louis' best friends (Louis even bought Stan a car). This screenshot was taken in 2015, when Eleanor briefly reactivated her Facebook after she and Louis broke up. Stan had a private profile, but a fan had a friend in common with him and...

(Don't ask me for the source of the screenshot because it's completely lost to time. I just tend to save stuff. I actually found this buried in my Google photos account recently when I was cleaning up).

The timing is........ incredible. And to make matters worse, Eleanor's cousin, Emily, was a huge 1D fan since their X Factor days. She was kept in the dark about Eleanor and Louis knowing each other until after he and Hannah broke up and almost immediately:

I can't embed for some reason, but here's the link

He also followed her on Twitter and called her on the phone:

As far as she was aware, at this point, Louis and Eleanor were "just friends" and she wouldn't find out they were an item until it became public knowledge. Why? Because, well, she was a child, and she was a 1D fan, so she knew perfectly well that Louis had a girlfriend until LITERALLY two weeks prior to following her.

Larries took Emily's lack of knowledge of the situation as "proof" of it being all fake, instead of the fact that she was lied to and told 1% of the information. She was told that Louis and Eleanor had known each other for a while, but she didn't have the full context:

Sugarscape, a popular media outlet at the time that had a lot of interviews with 1D, said that someone spotted Louis with a brunette girl at V Festival (August 20/21 2011). I can't find the original article because Sugarscape has gone offline since then, but I can find an archived version of a second article where they reference it, a year later:

Eleanor confirmed it was her:

Sugarscape wrote this second article because Louis had given an interview where he said that he and Eleanor didn't know how long they'd been together:

Larries also used this as proof that their relationship was fake, but... he couldn't say how long they'd been together BECAUSE THEY CHEATED. Not because he "didn't know" or because "he didn't care" or any other Larrie-backward-ass-logic. He did know, but if he admitted it, he was basically spelling out that he had cheated on his ex for months.

Notice how Sugarscape corrects Louis, who said they'd been together for 6-8 months. They're like "no, actually, it's at least 11." And, no, actually, it's MORE.

So, when you say that Hannah's brother said Louis cheated with a man.... no girl. He cheated with Eleanor. At first, Hannah didn't know, but she probably did realize it eventually, and that's why her brother was upset. This is what he said (a year+ after the breakup, and a month after the Sugarscape article I linked):

He used a gay slur, and that's why Larries say that George accused Louis of cheating with a man, but that's... not true. You can see from his profile picture that he was a literal child. He most likely just used that slur because it was the worst word he could think of and had no idea what the implications were. Louis had been with Eleanor, very openly, for a year. They were first spotted together in September 2011. Eleanor then confirmed that they were together IN AUGUST.

You think that Louis not only had a parallel relationship with a man, but also that his ex girlfriend's little brother (I think he was literally, like, 12), knew about it and tweeted about it openly?

And the proof of this is one word that can be very easily explained with logic? As opposed the mountains of proof of the opposite? Not that OG Larry blog believed George was alluding to Louis cheating with a man, and she was so delusional, she believed that Hannah was "a friend who was doing Louis a favor."

And before that, while Louis was on X factor someone tweeted that Louis had bullied another boy at the school for being gay.

"Someone" didn't tweet this. Three separate people did, over the course of eight years, including the gay boy himself. One day I'll make a post about it.

That, and your other comment below "think he's still trying to market himself this way because deep down he still wants the acceptance of his high school buddies and other men like them" seems to represent, in my opinion, someone who willingly mocks gay men, or those who don't fit into a particular role, because it's not deemed cool by his friends.

Or because he's an asshole? Just saying.

I'm not trying to turn this into a "is he gay, is he straight" discussion

You absolutely are, babe. Own up to it. Louis has said he's straight, and there's literally no reason whatsoever to believe he's lying or that has changed.

but reading your post, breaking down his people pleaser personality in a way, has me thinking that if he was gay or bi, he wouldn't want to come out because it wouldn't be seen as "cool" by his friends, or fit in with his faux Liam Gallagher tough guy persona.

I know it's painful to accept the fact that an artist you like is an asshole, but you're doing too much. He's straight. He didn't cheat with a man — a child simply called him the f slur because he thought it was a good insult. He cheated with a woman, has consistently dated women, he got a woman pregnant. He used to pile girls into vans while leaving clubs wasted and high off his face. He's straight and he's an asshole. He's not secretly gay and trying to fit in.

What you're doing is called self-soothing.

I think the only reason he stayed close to his Doncaster friends is because they're the only friendships he had so he feels the need to impress them. He didn't seem to bond with or make long lasting friendships in his time in the band. Sure he had Zayn, Liam and so on, but there isn't a real genuine friendship between him and anyone outside the band from that time.... compared to someone like harry who was always networking

I can actually agree with this, in terms of him feeling the need to impress his friends. But this doesn't justify his treatment of that boy or make it any less embarrassing. He's a grown man. Can I empathize? Sure. Can I also say that he should work on it? Absolutely.

I think his sexuality is somewhat important in all of this Liam Gallagher wannabe character he's playing because it seems to mirror his behaviour in high school (bullying gay people to fit in with his friends and putting on an act, and now he's laying on this chav act very thick to replicate his friends' behaviours to fit in. Seems to be a pattern)

He's straight. There's absolutely no reason whatsoever to think he's not straight. He's 100% straight. He bullied gay people because he's a dick. And it's not the only homophobic thing he has done. He literally kicked rainbow flags off the stage for no fucking reason in the middle of concerts, and his friends were nowhere near when this was happening:

This is a gay 1D fan who tweeted about it one of the multiple times it happened:

As I said, one day I'll make a post... this is just one of the many many things he's done.

I understand this message might be crossing a line discussing sexuality, but I would be interested in your opinion on how he wishes to be perceived by his friends, and the bullying claims

It's not crossing a line. You're fine. It's just that you're not well-informed, which I'll chalk up to the fact that disinformation runs rampant in this fandom. It's why I made this blog lmao. I can't blame someone who (I'm assuming) comes in later and sees all the random things people took out of context. But... yeah. Louis is not a poor self-hating gay. He's just a dick.

[1dmonthlyficroundup]

— 1D Monthly Fic Roundup —

Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for May 2024! Below you’ll find 1D fics that were all published this month. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup​. You can find all our other posts here.

Happy reading!

＊ Ocean Wave Blues by babyhoneyhslt / @babyhoneyheslt [M, 49k, Louis/Harry]

After the gruesome death of his Alpha, Harry takes over as the Captain of the Rose Arrow. Trying his best to uphold her reputation as being the most dreadful pirate ship to sail the Seven Seas.

With the help of his alpha-quartermaster Niall, he manages to keep his secondary gender hidden from everyone except his most trusted crew, as he operates under his late Alpha’s name. Captain Payne.

Everything changes when his ship is taken hostage by Pirate Captain Louis.

To keep his crew, and himself, alive, Harry must play the part of dutiful Omega who’s waiting for his Alpha’s return.

＊ You Put the Boom Boom Into My Heart by @kingsofeverything [T, 5k, Harry/Louis]

Harry's been trying all summer to come up with a way to show Louis how much he means to him before he leaves for college.

Or five times Harry fails to win Wham! tickets and one time he succeeds.

＊ Into the Woods by @kingsofeverything [E, 2k, Louis/Harry]

Whenever he hikes, Harry keeps an eye out for trees with knots and scars that resemble buttholes. What started as fodder for his silly little Instagram account has become his favorite way to masturbate.

＊ A Book in the Ruins by magpielivingforglitter / @builtyouahousefromabrokenhome [M, 10k, Harry/Louis]

Harry randomly meets Louis, they eat food and read poetry, and it’s the zombie apocalypse.

＊ now i'm tracin' all my steps to you by @alwaysxlarrie [T, 5k, Louis/Harry]

Of all the things Harry was prepared for this summer, Louis Tomlinson and his wonderful, wonderful scent isn't one of them. It probably shouldn't be as shocking as it is that it makes Harry want to nest. There's only one slight problem -- Harry and nesting aren't exactly on familiar terms. At all.

This does not stop Harry from borrowing ("borrowing") Louis' things all throughout summer, though. Oops?

＊ just a couple of my cravings by YesIsAWorld / @louandhazaf [G, 3k, Harry/Louis]

Summer's just around the corner and Louis' battling his addictions... Cigarettes and Harry Styles.

＊ better latte than never by @disgruntledkittenface [M, 1k, Zayn/Harry]

Harry was looking forward to the coffee cart at work. Until the subject of the previous night's fantasies lined up next to him.

＊ I Like to Watch by larry_hiatus / @larry-hiatus [E, 9k, Louis/Harry, Louis/Zayn]

If there’s one thing Harry loves, it’s watching his husband Louis get fucked by other men. After picking up a lad called Zayn who is baffled by this concept, the three men are in for a wild night.

＊ Hope by @hellolovers13 [T, 2k, no pairing, Louis, Harry]

A father's desperate journey against time.

＊ On Love's Doorstep by @hellolovers13 [T, 1k, Harry/Louis]

Harry Styles: a day in the life

☑ Stuck in a dress ☑ Abandoned by his best friend ☑ Date with hot neighbour

All in all, not the worst day ever

＊ the very last drops of an ink pen by staybeautiful / @harruandlou [E, 47k, Louis/Harry]

The spoon made a hissing sound on the rim of his cup before he put it on his napkin. Sharp eyes met Harry’s over the table and Louis said, “So, we have a lot to talk about then.”

“How do you mean?” Harry blew on the foam at the top of his latte and let the heat of it warm his hands. Anxious energy curled down his arms as he waited for Louis to speak.

“Well, what are we doing about the business?” Louis picked up his mug and with his mouth against the lip of it, added, “Or are you going to leave that too?”

Against his will, his cheeks flushed in annoyance and Harry snapped, “Of course I fucking won’t.”

Or just after midnight on Harry's 30th birthday, he realizes he can't do another year without change. So, he forces it. Breaking up with Louis might have hurt less if they weren't co-owners of Studio 28, living within walking distance of each other, and if he wasn't the thing Harry was most afraid of losing. Secluding themselves on their shared estate in an attempt to save their working relationship may shed a light on where everything else started going wrong. And perhaps give them a chance to fix it.

＊ don't be afraid to love (and love again) by localopa / @voulezloux [E, 83k, Louis/Harry]

All Louis’ life, he’s known he’s been different. There’s always been something at odds about how he felt.

As the eldest daughter of seven kids, he knew something was wrong with his body. Something was off, he just couldn’t quite put his finger on it. His mum dressed him in dresses and tights, plaits in his hair as he wandered around with the local neighborhood boys. They called him a girl, called him she and Rosemary when his name is Louis. He had told the boys as such, but they would tell him Louis is a boy’s name, not a girl’s.

Louis is a boy. He knows he is.

or the one where louis is trans and afraid, harry is cis and brave, and being 100% yourself is easier said than done.

＊ Pacify Her by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright [E, 2k, Harry/Louis]

Harry's anxiety is acting up. Louis has the only thing that will soothe her.

OR Louis' pussy is the ultimate pacifier.

＊ this brokenness inside me might start healing by LiveLaughLoveLarry / @loveislarryislove [T, 29k, Louis/Harry]

Louis grew up in a tiny town, where everyone knew everyone -- or at least, they think they do. Then he left, and became a successful singer-songwriter, a star that everyone in the country knows -- or at least, they think they do.

But when Louis returns home for the birth of his first nibling, he meets a librarian who doesn't know him at all. And that's all Louis could ask for.

“I remember when you were a teenager," Miss Susan says, "telling me all the things you wanted to accomplish, the places you wanted to go. And I’ve seen a lot of kids, with a lot of big dreams – but you were different. You had this… quiet energy, this determined certainty. When you told me all you were going to do, I believed you.” She smiles, spreading her arms. “And now here you are.”

Here he is indeed, Louis thinks bitterly. Back where he started. His dreams on pause, his future uncertain. His whole identity built out of secrets and half-truths, while everyone thinks they know exactly who he is.

He left to find himself, he came home to find himself, and yet – here he is, feeling more lost than ever before.

＊ Rewriting the Melody by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13 [T, 26k, Harry/Louis]

Louis doesn’t get put in One Direction. This time, the path to true love takes the long way round, including singing in toilet cubicles, fruit baskets, and long distance band counselling from someone who really doesn’t know what he’s doing, he just wants to keep talking to Harry.

＊ warmth within your arms by @hsburnr [M, 1k, Louis/Harry]

when it's get too much to bear and nothing makes sense, harry seeks comfort from louis.

one shot, hurt/comfort au.

- Fic Fests -

＊ 1D Dystopian Fic Fest / @1ddystopianfest / masterpost

“Telling a story in a futuristic world gives you this freedom to explore things that bother you in contemporary times.” ~ Suzanne Collins

- Podfics -

＊ [podfic] Season 3, Episode 4: Timeless [a fic by babyhoneyhslt] by podfic_pals / @podfic-pals [G, Louis/Harry]

After visiting an antiques shop, Harry gets transported through time, and discovers that he and Louis are Timeless.

Based on Taylor Swift's Timeless.

[rei-ismyname]

SENTINELS #3 From The Ashes Review

For those of you who haven't been reading the series, the basic premise is that Chuck resurrected Larry Trask (son of Bolivar, inventor of the first sentinels) on Krakoa. His mutant gift is limited but very accurate precognition, he only sees days at most into the future but he doesn't know how to control his powers properly. After Krakoa fell, he returned to running Trask Industries and won a contract with Graymalkin prison. Alex Paknadel is writing the series after an excellent run on Infinity Comics.

There's Larry and his four 'sentinels.' Also Magneto, somehow.

Having ostensibly learnt his lesson from most of his family dying from the robots they created, he's running a paramilitary outfit with traumatized veterans and nanotechnology grafts, power armor, and augments. These are the Sentinels, and the tech requires all kinds of mood stabilisers, surgery, and psychiatric care - these people are hallucinating and having psychotic breaks all the time. His stated motivation is to prevent wars between mutants and humans, using his precognition to identify the most dangerous ones. So far they've captured Omega Red and Sebastian Shaw, but everyone involved is a mess - personally, mentally, professionally, financially. Sentinels is set in Post-Krakoa America (mostly) but it is not an X-Men book. It's not even a hero book. It's paramilitary horror with transhumanist themes. Larry believes he's protecting mutants and humans but he has constant flopsweat and is clearly out of his depth.

The Krakoa continuity is excellent

Issue #3 begins in media res, with Warden Ellis interviewing Drumfire about their most recent mission - capturing Fabian Cortez. Drumfire clearly has about as much respect for Ellis as I do, which is a nice touch. We're meant to try to sympathise with these sentinels, and showing tension with someone we know to be awful helps. The fuckhead doesn't even get her name right. The chain of command is a little confusing, but I don't remember the first two issues that well. The important takeaway is that while these people work together, there's tension and dehumanisation there. Ellis doesn't treat anyone with respect, but that's just the tip of the iceberg.

The fireteam boots down the door Cortez is behind only to find that he's healing a child. Cortez sucks, but he did experience some growth on Krakoa. That he's doing this altruistically isn't completely out of the question. So immediately their mission becomes complicated. A civilian's present, and Cortez isn't doing anything wrong.

This throws the team off so they run it up the line to Trask. He makes the (probably correct) assumption that Cortez' healing abilities were amped up through resurrection. He certainly died enough. Larry tells them to bring him in but Lockstep, the field leader, insists it's his call. Before he can make that decision a civilian grabs him, affording Cortez the opportunity to flee. He did want to abort, but the point is moot.

Ellis pressed Drumfire on her mood stabiliser usage and she lies that they'd been helping with her hallucinations. She refuses to discuss them, though Onslaught (who she's been hallucinating) is obviously not receptive to being stabilised. Lockstep/Hansen's tech/mind fizzes out and comms stop working so the team is on their own. They finally catch up to Cortez but he's face down in the dirt. Possibly dead. They didn't do it, though that they have to ask says a lot.

What's left of the fireteam runs into the last person a mutant hunter wants to see - Magneto. This clearly takes place after X-Men #3, as Ellis has intelligence on Magneto's medical woes, but for all we know it takes place after Raid on Graymalkin. It doesn't seem like how Magneto would act these days, or is able to act, but there he is. He's blocking bullets and throwing metal around, though he's less dramatic than I'd expect. I'm not going to speculate on whether it's actually him - the characters don't reach consensus and that's by design.

One of the difficulties with this book is telling the identically-dressed soldiers with similar names apart, not helped by personnel turnover. It's not Drumfire, so I just have to accept what I'm shown. It's most likely Voivod hulking out and attacking Mags - he's the most heavily augmented and as we'll see has some other secrets in that body. There are clearly mysteries afoot, so I assume it'll be revealed in time. However, these are our protagonists. There's something to be said for the interchangeability of their personhood, which just adds to the feeling of confusion and terror.

Mags, the scamp, drops a classic EMP blast - not a good time to be a cyborg. He not only gets away but takes Cortez with him. The team are in shambles, with Voivod speaking in binary and others unable to move. Ellis expresses surprise that they survived, but not concern.

The team is suspended with pay while they're being investigated, and Ellis still calls Drumfire the wrong name. She's surely taking notes or recording the interview, plus she'd have their records, so it's probably on purpose. We already know she sucks, but this scene does a lot for Drumfire. She's clearly miserable in a wretched work environment and nobody cares. I have no respect for the US military or sentinels, but I have sympathy for this broken person who's suffering with no support system. The hiring practices are clearly predatory, seeking traumatized people out and withholding medication unless they do as they're told.

Drumfire isn't cartoonishly evil like most mutant hunters have been portrayed, and considering the mutants they're hunting she probably thinks it's ethical. Everyone has been made to feel like they don't matter before though, and being dehumanised and dismissed by those who should be looking out for you is relatable (at least it is to me.) I'm invested.

Looks a lil bit like Scurvy?

We don't have full context for what Voivod and Trask are discussing, but Larry is clearly in over his head. He confesses his problems to someone he's supposed to be in a position of power over, but Voivod spits bile at him. He's clearly not happy as a guinea pig for whatever medical horror Trask is up to, and Larry feebly tries to regain the power by beating someone who can't fight back. His anxiety is palpable but his declaration of righteousness and good intent feels hollow. This is a man on the edge and he's taking these poor fucks down with him. They do seem to know each other well enough, I wonder if it's someone we know.

Yeah Trask has no power here. He's cracking up and hiding it poorly with pressure coming from every direction. Maybe he can take solace from Havok still wearing the weird gimp suit he designed in 1967. Sawtooth catches the end of the conversation plus Larry's appearance and makes that face up there - 'we're so fucked!'

The C plot involves Lockstep's son confiding in him that his mother has unmanageable Mafia Maggia debt. He resolves to do something about it and perhaps to snatch what little control and self respect he can from his trainwreck of a life. He gives the gangsters everything he has on his (ex?) wife's behalf, but they try to squeeze him further and push him around. It only takes up 3 pages but it's an effective development in line with what we've seen of him so far.

The issue ends with him using his augmentation/nanotechnology fuckery to kill them all. It's not presented as heroic or a good decision, rather the act of a desperate man at the end of his tether with only bad decisions available. He definitely enjoys it, though. It's easy to see how someone fluent in violence with abilities beyond regular humans might respond when pushed into a corner - after all, the military industrial complex is built on devaluing certain lives. Enemies, acceptable targets, guinea pig soldiers, mutants. It'd be dishonest to tell a story about it without going there, so it's both a grim character beat and a further exploration of the book's themes. Can you really do state violence 9-5 and be a good person? Can you even keep the violence to work hours? Nope, and the honesty is refreshing.

Marvel has been very pro-military and police for its entire publication history - less so in the X-books, but it's still absolutely there. It's a bold direction to take and a new kind of X-story. Sentinels is definitely focused on these things, but ultimately it's about people - as all good stories must be. I recommend it and feel confident in saying it's in the top tier of From The Ashes books right next to Exceptional X-Men.

[strange-anni]

What happened to Nancy Wheeler on Wills 8th birthday?

Long story short I do believe that the events of S3 namely Mayor Larrys Fun Fair/The Mind Flayer/ The Battle at Starcourt Mall could all give us some clues as to what really happened when Will got 8 years old in 1979.

Read this post if you want to know more. If you don't you may not understand what I'm talking about in here.

This time I mostly want to talk about Nancy Wheeler and what I believe could have happened to her on the 22nd of March 1979.

The Hawkins High Marching Band was at Mayor Larrys Fun Fair in 1985. This likely means that wherever Wills birthday party took place in 1979, the band was there too. Probably not directly because of him but they were at the same place at the same time.

Since the Marching band was there, Robin was most likely too as well as Vickie.

But

In S1 Steve also assumes Nancy took part in band practices. She denies it though but I don't fully believe her. I think Steve is right that she was in band at one point in her life and therefore was also present when Will had his birthday party. I'll get into why later.

That doesn't bode well considering that it's likely something horrible happened at the same day. Something Will only has vague memories about. El distinctly remembers killing a bunch of kids in the lab in S4. Even though it turned out that she didn't do it and it was 001 who did it, I do think there is a bit of truth to it as these memories are most likely altered memories of Will.

So a bunch of children died back then and it's the year 1979 we are talking about. Nancy, Jonathan, Robin and Vickie would have only been about 12 years old at the time and Steve about 13 years.

Kids.

This is what Robin had to say when she and Steve were drugged and in the elevator with Erica and Dustin. Ominous to say the least.

But back to Nancy

I think she got shot in the chest.

Her sweater is white and it's pure fuel but it's not coming off. The fuel blood just won't come off.

And it's Larry who gave it his best shot at the Fun Fair. Larry who shares the same name with Lonnie. Both are short versions of Lawrence.

Nancy like many others got killed on that day but something else also happened. Will got a box with 120 crayons and drew a big space ship, a Rainbowship. Joyce told us it's the only thing Will wanted to do. He didn't care for his new Star Wars toys and only wanted to draw. If that Rainbowship is so important, it's for a reason I think. It's purpose is to bring a lot of people into space/the UD to save them and then bring them back to earth so they can live again.

Karen is right I think. Nancy did get swapped in the hospital. She died there and then seemingly came back to life but it's not really the same Nancy. She looks like her and mostly acts like her but it's not her.

It's the Nancy that got transported back from Space/the UD with the Rainbowship after she died in the hospital. She was swapped.

She's what an eight year old Will believed her to be like. His best version/interpretation of her along with some deliberate alterations. If being in band was what killed her on that day, she can no longer be in band. So that aspect of her life got erased. It's why I don't believe her when she said she wasn't in band. She can't remember ever being there and this version truly wasn't but the old one was.

The new car which looks just like the old car but isn't the old car. A metaphor for many things in this show

[your-divine-ribs]

I’m With the Band Part 38

Words: 3.8k

This is the new chapter! The band are gonna arrive in Glasgow next part ready to play TRNSMT 💖

I’m With the Band Masterlist Main Masterlist

My ears are ringing from the noisy bar so it's a struggle to listen for Jack's footsteps heading away. I try anyway, ear pressed up against the flimsy door that I uneasily realise isn't much of a barrier between me and the rest of the tour bus. There's not even a lock I can slide across.

I reason that there's no way Jack would come in here though, even if he was a total creep he wouldn't risk trying anything on with the state I'm in and the knowledge that I'm related to Larry... would he? I think back to my conversation with Lisa that I rudely cut short. This is exactly the sort of thing she was trying to warn me about I'm sure.

Fuck... my head's swimming and my legs feel weak and shaky after my fall. I peel myself away from the door and flop down on to the makeshift bed I'd created earlier by sliding the two couches together. I'm shattered now and I'd be tempted to try and sleep but knowing the amount of alcohol in my system I'll probably be close to comatose as soon as I shut my eyes. The thought of blacking out makes me feel vulnerable, especially when a muted clattering from somewhere on the tour bus not a million miles away from my door reminds me that Jack's still out there lingering around.

I really don't want to be on my own right now. I slip my phone out of my bag and quickly scroll through my contacts. I don't have Lisa's number and I know if I call Larry he'll pick up on the worry in my voice even if I try to hide it. I really don't want to cause a fuss on night one of the tour, it's a guaranteed one-way ticket back to Llandudno as I'm positive that my killjoy cousin will be reporting anything concerning my welfare straight back to my aunt and uncle.

That just leaves Van and Johnny. I'm not in the mood right now to deal with what would likely be a very over-the-top reaction to my predicament from Van so it's an easy choice to make.

The first call goes straight to answerphone and I start to panic when I hear a faint scuffling sound right outside the door, quickly jabbing the call button again. After three rings he picks up.

"Arabella love? Where did ya get to? Am just heading back to the bus..."

"Johnny... come back... come back quick... please!"

My voice cracks on the last word and I take a deep breath, trying to stifle the sob but it escapes anyway, and Johnny's tone changes immediately, his voice coming loud and urgent.

"What's up? Are ya okay? You don't sound good. Tell me where ya are love."

"I'm on the bus," I croak out, quieter now as I hear a rap on the door. "Please hurry!"

"Am coming right now don't worry, am coming as fast as I can. Stay where you are." He keeps the call open and I'm thankful for that as another rap sounds, sharper this time.

"You alright in there darlin'?" Comes Jack's voice through the thin plastic door. I can hear Johnny panting now like he's running and the thought of him rushing to get to me calms me a little.

"I'm fine, I just wanna be on my own, okay?" I call out to Jack, hearing Johnny's confusion down the line.

"Who's there? Is someone there with you? I'm here now, I'm here. Just give me a sec..."

The line goes dead and I drop my phone on to the couch, hugging my knees to my chest and listening to the raised male voices that are increasing in volume until I hear Johnny right outside, knocking and calling my name.

"Johnny!" I blurt out, all relief and flustered emotion as his worried face appears around the doorframe. I'm on my feet in an instant, launching myself into his arms and burying my face in his chest, the sobs that have been building for the last half an hour tumbling out of me uninhibited. I couldn't hold them in even if I wanted to.

"Fuckin' 'ell Arabella, whatever's the matter love? Last thing I saw of you, you were dancing with Van and propping up the bar with Lisa... what the hell happened?"

Johnny sounds bewildered but I can't answer him yet, I'm still sobbing, a snotty-nosed tear-streaked mess likely soaking his shirt through with tears and slobber and god knows what else. I don't want him to see me like this. I press my face further into his chest, hiding away. I'm not sure whether it's the amount I've had to drink, the harsh words from the girls in the bar, the perceived threat from Jack or a combination of all three but all of a sudden I'm overwhelmed with a whirlwind of emotions that I can't contain.

"It's... it's... it's..." I whimper, struggling to get my words out but Johnny just shushes me, stroking my hair and holding me tight to him, not demanding an explanation now, just comforting me.

"Hey... hey... it's okay love... I'm here. Whatever it is we can sort it, okay? Don't get yerself in a state over it, am sure we can fix whatever's happened. Just keep calm... I've got ya."

"S... s... sorry," I stutter, my voice coming out all shaky, the sobs punctuating my words. I peel myself away from Johnny just enough so that I can look up at him, peering through mascara-clogged lashes. "You said f... first night of tour was a b... blow-out and I'm sp... spoiling it for you."

"Don't mind me lass," he smiles down on me, a gentle hand smoothly my hair back from my face. "Reckon you might've saved me from an almighty hangover tomorrow. Dougie was just getting the shots in when I saw you'd tried to call me. Me and tequila don't mix well at all."

"But you were having fun," I protest, my voice all slurred and whiney. "And I've gone and spoiled everything... again."

I reluctantly loosen my grip on Johnny's shirt so I can raise up a hand up to wipe at my bleary eyes and that's when I notice Jack lingering in the open doorway. He's looking me up and down, more bemused than concerned even though I'm obviously upset.

"Ya find out what's wrong with her?" He addresses Johnny like I'm not even there at all. "Tried to help but she didn't wanna know."

He takes a step into the small room as he speaks and I instinctively stiffen, recoiling slightly from his proximity. It's only a barely imperceptible reaction and I'm not expecting Johnny to notice but he appears to nevertheless. I feel his body tense and the hand that's curled around my waist grips me a little tighter as he pulls me protectively into his side.

"It's okay mate, I'm dealing with it, nothing for you to worry about. We just need... uhhh... a little bit of privacy if that's okay?"

His voice is amiable but firm and I watch Jack from behind a lock of hair that's fallen over my face, see him shrug as he backs up over the threshold.

"Suit yerself, was just tryin' to help, that's all. Tour bus really ain't no place for a young gal like that anyway. Don't know what the fuck Larry was thinking." He shakes his head and I feel a surge of annoyance surface.

"I'm 19... I'm not a child!" I blurt and he chuckles, amused by my outburst. He doesn't reply though, just mutters something about hormones and 'time of the month' under his breath as he turns and slinks away.

I'm relieved when Johnny leans over to shut the door, finally stepping back from him and flopping down to sit on the couch.

"What a prick."

Johnny voices my own thoughts and I look up at him. "You think so too?"

He nods, taking a seat next to me. "Yeah, we got some new crew for this tour. Just a few of 'em but they're not like the usual guys at all. They're all sound, Van and the lads have known 'em for years. Some of 'em have been there right from the start so they're all mates, but these new guys they've hired are a different breed. Proper dickheads some of 'em, you should hear 'em talking about the young fans, 'specially the girls." He pauses to frown in distaste. "Management reckon we need a bigger touring crew now though, everything's on a much bigger scale see, we got more kit, lighting rigs, fancy stage setup an' all that..." he pauses to take a breath and his expression darkens a little. "Hey... it wasn't him was it? Jack? The one who upset you?"

"No!" I say hurriedly, bolstering my lie with an enthusiastic shake of my head. I don't want anyone to think that Jack might actually be right in his observation that a tour bus is no place for a young vulnerable girl, annoyed with myself that I feel like that might be the truth right now, my usual outward show of sass and confidence well and truly knocked by the night's events. "It wasn't him, it was actually before... in the bar..."

"Was it any of the other lads?" He asks, a gentle hand coming to rest on my upper thigh.

"No... it was... it was..." I start but trail off, replaying the insults from the girls in my head. I'm not sure why I'm so reluctant to share, maybe it's the unwelcome voice in my head that tells me there was some truth in their cruel observations. "I... I don't really wanna talk about it, not right now. It's nothing anyway, I'm just overreacting 'cause I've had too much to drink, that's all."

"Doesn't look like nothing to me," Johnny says, reaching around to gently pull my legs up and around into his lap. His eyes go wide at once as he notices the sore, bloody grazes on both of my knees, instantly distracted from the source of my distress.

"Shit, you taken another tumble? Bloody hell love, you're accident prone you are... no wonder really... you've got those ridiculous heels on again instead of your docs."

He instantly sets about unbuckling the straps of my heels and easing them off my feet, fussing around me in a way that makes me feel small but in a good way, comforted and safe.

"I said I was okay, you don't need to fuss..." I start but my words are cut off in surprise as he curls one hand under my thighs and the other around my back, rising up on to his feet with me scooped up in his arms, bridal style.

"Johnny! What the hell are you doing now?"

He smirks down on me. "Said I was gonna look after ya, didn't I? I'm a man of my word!"

I wrap my arms around his neck as he manoeuvres me carefully through the narrow doorway, my curiosity giving way to a fit of the giggles. I realise I don't actually care where he's taking me, my earlier distress melting away as I bask in his caring attention. He carries me down the corridor and nudges the bathroom door open, setting me down on the narrow ledge next to the sink so I'm perched there with my legs dangling down.

"Thought someone else'd be fixing me up tonight," he muses as he turns to open the small wall-mounted cabinet, frowning as he sees all my fancy toiletries inside. He shifts bottles about like he's looking for something before giving up and reaching under the sink and producing a bright green box which looks like a first aid kit which he holds aloft. "Last tour I ended up falling off a bar in some pub, cracking my head open. Surprised I didn't need stitches."

"What were you doing up on the bar in the first place?" I laugh, crazy images flashing through my head.

"Benji dared me to get up there," he chuckles at the memory, wincing when he remembers the outcome. "I'm a liability when I'm on the shots, like I said earlier. Just keep the tequila away from me, that's all I'm saying!"

"I'll remember that." I file the information away for future reference, watching Johnny root through the case and pull out a plastic packet of antiseptic wipes.

"You don't need to do all this," I swing my legs, trying to act unbothered. "It's nothing, it doesn't even hurt."

"Looks a mess though all bloody like that. What's Larry gonna say when he gets back? You know how he worries about you. Now, this might sting a little."

He sinks down on to his knees so he's on a level with mine and he presses a wipe to the cut. I wince, hissing as the antiseptic seeps into the gash. Johnny pauses, eyes locking with mine.

"It's okay, I'm not a baby," I say, even though I feel silly and childish sitting here, getting my grazed knees cleaned like a school playground accident.

"Just don't wanna hurt ya, that's all." He continues to clean up the wound, his actions painstakingly gentle, pausing every time I flinch. "You must have gone down with a real bang, you've made a right mess of yer knees. Let's see what we've got in here."

He starts rooting through the small first aid box and I watch him, trying to gauge whether he really is annoyed with me for cutting his night short. He said he wasn't but knowing Johnny he'd be unlikely to tell me the truth even if he was. That's just the way he is, well certainly with me anyway.

"Ahh here we go, this'll do just the job," he announces, holding up a packet of plasters. I groan out loud.

"Plasters? Really? But it's just a scratch."

"You'll be getting blood all over the bed-sheets if we leave 'em like this," he says, eyes glowing with amusement at my obvious disapproval. "What's up? Don't you think they'll go with your outfit?"

I bite down on my bottom lip to mute my grin, enjoying Johnny's playful teasing more than I'm willing to admit. "Well, it wasn't exactly the sophisticated look I was going for tonight. I'm gonna look even more of a mess all patched up."

"Oh I don't know," he covers my injuries carefully with a large plaster on each knee, smoothing over with a gentle caress. "You might set off a new trend, all the girls'll be wanting to emulate your look. 'First aid kit chic' they'll call it. It'll be on the catwalks of Milan and Paris before you know it."

He looks up at me from his spot on the bathroom floor with a smile. His hands are still on my knees, the pleasant warmth of his touch leeching into my skin. I giggle quietly, feeling my mood shift, my earlier anxiety starting to ebb away. There's just something about Johnny that calms me, his laid-back placid temperament and soothing attentiveness setting me at ease. But that's not all. Fuelled by the boldness from the cocktails that I've been knocking back all night, my mind starts to whir. I know full well that Jack could still be lingering outside but apart from him we've got the whole tourbus to ourselves. That's probably not going to happen very often.

"You know what my mum always used to say to me when I was little and I hurt myself?"

"Yeah?" He urges me on.

"She used to say if she kissed it better all the hurt would go away."

"Oh aye?" I don't miss the tiny spark of mischief in his eyes, the way his grin widens as if to say 'I know your game.' I'm just not sure whether he wants to play.

I look down coyly, back up to meet his gaze. "Yeah... and it just so happens to work."

"Oh really?" His eyes narrow slightly but he's still smiling. He shifts a little where he's kneeling and I think for a moment he's going to rise up, but instead he leans forward, maintaining eye contact with me as he puckers his lips to place a soft kiss on my left knee. A pause then he pulls away, only to lean over to give my right knee the same treatment, this time letting his lips linger there, dragging them softly over the unblemished skin to the inside of my knee. It makes me shiver. "How's that? All better now?"

"Hmm, getting there... could be even better though... maybe a little higher up," I reply, my voice a soft whisper. The air in the small bathroom feels thick, a little charged, or maybe I'm imagining things, wishful thinking in my tipsy state.

He lets out a breathy chuckle, his smile not fading but I detect a shift in his demeanour, I can see it in his eyes. "Arabella... you're drunk..."

"Only a bit!" I butt in, feeling the pout forming in anticipation of what's coming next. "I've only had a few, I'm not that bad!"

"More than a few I'd say," he muses, glancing at my injured knees. "And what's more, I'm drunk too... bloody hammered actually." He laughs and then he does rise up, hands on the ledge on either side of my hips, face a few inches from mine as he leans in. "And what kind of man would I be if I let anything happen tonight eh, when we're both in a state like this?"

"A lucky one?" I offer, knowing I'll never sway him but trying my luck anyway, resting my hands on his shoulders and giving him my best seductive eyes. "C'mon Johnny, we've practically got the bus all to ourselves. No one needs to know, it'll be our little secret. I swear I'm not as drunk as you think."

"There's no way," he grins and my breath catches as he leans even closer and I think for a moment he's giving in but instead of his lips connecting with mine he plants a small sweet kiss right on the tip of my nose before he draws back. "You don't half look cute when you're sulking! I'm just looking out for you, ya know I am. You might think you want this now but you might feel differently in the morning when you wake up with a sore head and a tonne of regrets."

"Can guarantee you I won't," I disagree, swinging my legs as he pushes himself away, his attention turning back to the cabinet above the sink, opening it and peering inside.

"Well, that's a chance I'm not willing to take. I'm not about to take advantage of you whilst you're wasted. That's just the way it is. Now are we gonna take your make-up off before you go to bed?"

I huff loudly, more for effect than anything, ignoring his question. I'm certainly not aggrieved by his moral stance, I actually finding it refreshing and honourable and in any case I know I'm fighting a losing battle, I can hear the pronounced slur in my words and I know he'll never give in whilst I'm this level of inebriated. Maybe I'm just enjoying the playful dynamic we both share, the way Johnny won't take chances, ever mindful of me as always. I cross my arms across my chest in a defensive pose even though I'm grinning up at him lopsidedly. "I'm not wasted at all, like I keep telling you, I only had a few cocktails. You want me to prove it, huh? Is that it? D'ya want me to show you how elegantly I can walk in a straight line?"

"Love, you can hardly stand up unaided," he chuckles, but he steps back to give me space nevertheless.

"We'll see about that!"

But the lazy buzz from the alcohol in my system seems to ramp up to full throttle as I go to make my move, my knees going instantly weak as I jump down far too enthusiastically from the countertop. I know I'm in trouble as soon as my feet hit the floor.

"Shit!" I squeal as I feel my whole body career to the side, and if it wasn't for Johnny's lightening fast reaction as he darts forward I'd likely have gone down on the bathroom floor like a sack of spuds.

"Ughhh I think maybe I moved too fast," I groan, slumping against his body, nuzzling into his warmth. "Think I need to lie down."

"Come on piss'ed, let's get you to bed," he laughs warmly.

The room's spinning now that I've made a move and seduction's suddenly the furthest thing from my mind. I don't want Johnny to leave me yet though. I look up at him, gripping on to the lapels of his shirt to stabilise myself. "Can you stay with me tonight? Please?"

"I don't think that's such a good idea..."

"Just to sleep!" I blurt out. "Nothing else I swear! I just don't wanna be on my own that's all, first night away and all that."

"But what would Larry say..." he starts but I cut him off quickly, my tone sharp.

"Fuck Larry!" I cry, then I realise I'm shouting and giggle, slapping a hand over my mouth before I take it away to wave it dismissively. "I'll talk to him in the morning, he'll be fine. I always manage to talk him round in the end, you'll see."

But Johnny doesn't look convinced, his face creasing up as he shakes his head. "Nah, I don't think so, don't wanna cause problems on night one. And what about Van?" He frowns and I roll my eyes. "Can't be doing with him all fucking moody with the gig coming up. Tell yer what..." he pauses, looking thoughtful. "You can crash in my bunk tonight if you want? If you really don't wanna be alone? At least we're not shut away in private then. We can say we were just chatting and passed out there if anyone asks?"

He raises his voice up questioningly but I don't have to ponder his offer, the thought of cuddling up to Johnny all night is exactly the comfort and security I'm hankering after right now. I know Larry will still be unimpressed but it's not like we'll be getting up to anything in those shitty bunks with the other band members sleeping so close by is it? I move my hands to curl around his waist, smiling up at him as he holds my swaying body steady. "Mmm, yeah, I'd like that. I'd like that a lot."

[neutrallyobsessed]

hi, I'm genuinely confused, please don't take this as an attempt to be insulting! i'm just really interested to know where you picked up the idea that phoenix and miles don't like one another? miles continuously refers to 'that man' and using his methods in investigations, as well as multiple scenes between the two stating they've saved/want to save one another. i'd just like to know where you're coming from 😄

Exhibit A:

Pretty straight forward, no room for doubts. But it is very early on and before the character development (ugh *~*) so maybe things change but we're definitely NOT in a good start.

Exhibit B:

Phoenix asks Miles for help and the latter refuses, he's not willing to break court etiquette for his "friend", his job is more important that his "friend". But he does plead to the Judge for a 30 minute break. But that was for Maya, he is concerned and wants to save Maya. Because she is the victim now duh but let us see this exchange

It is very interesting to see how quick Miles is to understand the situation and put men to work on Maya's rescue but even more so how it seems like Phoenix is sort of refusing this... like- You're not going to save Maya, I'm going to save Maya!! unlike saving Miles, and the possibility of someone else doing it, this feels... a lot more... personal if you know what I'm sayin~~~~ Hmmmmm 7w7

Exhibit C:

Damn lol ok, no comment, was looking for something else but here it is, clear as day. (It's not even about just Larry, it says childhood friendssssss with an S, in plural)

Exhibit D:

Ehhh this is more about how Maya is a bigger priority for both of them, more than they are to each other hahaha :3 Sure, she's the bigger victim here but still :333

>>>>>>

Yes, Miles does like- reference That Man... very sporadically... vaguely... and he doesn't sound pleased about it... like he doesn't even mention him by name which out-universe is because it's not his game, but what could be the in-universe explanation? Well, that he fucking hates him and wants to erase him from his memory as much as possible! At least to me, that's how I feel~~

>>>>>>

Exhibit E:

You may call this "playful banter". I don't. Too mean-spirited (xd) for that. Just plain telling to his face he didn't miss him. Much like he told Will Powers that he liked his work to his face. Emotionally constipated? Yes. Dishonest? Never!

>>>>>>

Yes, Wright talks a lot about saving and helping people, he thinks that about everyone, probably because that's his job and maybe some hero complex but ok, let's pretend Miles case is more particular. Miles doesn't want his help, he has no choice but to accept it because plot but if it were up to him, he'd try to be helped by someone else (or not at all, fatalist that he is)

I do not remember any moment where Miles wants to save Phoenix. It is heavily implied that he did help him with the getting back his badge but A) Nick's biggest allies in this were Ema and Trucy B) I don't think this happend out of Miles good will or feeling endebted, I feel like this was Maya's doing and as we've seen, Miles does take Maya a lot more seriously in a way and if she wants Nick to be a lawyer again then she'll get it and if Chief Prosecutor Edgeworth has to put his weight for it, if it's for Maya he'll do it. but of course, this last bit is speculation so don't worry about it.

The fact is that they have this one-sided friendship of sorts where Phoenix sees Miles as a friend but Miles sees Phoenix as this co-worker he's in friendl-ish terms with. Feel free to ship them and believe that it was love at first defense over a crime he didn't commit but I do not see any romance blooming from this so-called "bond".

Sorry if this isn't too much of a comprehensive list but I rather not think about my notp. At all. Not even to list why I think they're incompatible, I'm not going to waste too much of my energy on researching something I hate when I could focus on something I love. If someone out there is a bigger hater and has more moments of what I like to call NRMT Hostility™ (basically when Wright and Edgeworth's enemesty shines) feel free to add them or something lol

[tommycorriander]

Larry x Kabu (AoKabu, Blueturnipshipping) headcanons/rambles who cheered!!

- the name 'blueturnipshipping' is being coined by me!!! If there is another wildly used name I would like to know, but my reason for choosing that ship name is because when combined, Ao and Kabu translates to 'blue turnip' (at least, when using machine translation. If it translates differently I would like to know!!!!)

- Kabu, especially in his youth, was seen as quite attractive due to his physical fitness and general attitude on the battlefield. Paired with being a celebrity he was likely sought after frequently. He mentions it very rarely in passing but isn't something he likes to bring up, both from general politeness/being humble and also because a good chunk of those pursuing him were parasocial due to his status. It happens a lot less now due to his age, since he doesn't use social media he doesn't see how there are some people online who make negative comments about him being past his prime. Even so he still has that latent feeling of having peaked, stemming from his previous stumbling in his career as a gym leader.

- Larry probably hasn't experienced being desired in the same capacity as Kabu. Being a gym leader and elite four member doesn't get you much prestige in Paldea due to having less money within the League and a lack of celebrity culture in Paldea for the league. The only exceptions to this are people who are famous for things outside of their position as a gym leader, like Iono with her streaming career. As this is something Larry doesn't have, he isn't on nearly as wide a stage. He's also not particularly 'handsome' in the sense that he isn't well built or looks like a model, so while he has had experience dating and being sought after it's generally not very common and definitely became rarer as he got older. Thats partially because of him being extremely busy as well, not just from his age/looks.

- Kabu is extremely outwardly passionate about battling, something that Larry admires and partially envies. Larry also has a passion for it- he wouldn't be a double member of the League otherwise- but due to working two positions and having an office job he's worn thin and has lost that 'spark' that made him really enjoy battling in the first place. Kabu reignites that in him.

- Kabu greatly appreciates Larry's ability to ignore how others think about him. Kabu isn't self conscious per se, but you do end up taking on some level of concern about your appearance/attitude/actions/etc when you're a celebrity and scrutinized 24/7.

- Kabu is canonically from Hoenn and I headcanon Larry as being from Johto due to his Dudunsparce + how heavily based on the Japanese salaryman stereotype he is. Because of this they both bond over a shared appreciation for the similarities in their cuisine (I headcanon that hoenn has a heavier focus on seafood due to having a lot of ocean nearby, and the Kanto/Johto areas are more agriculture focused. However they are both based on Japan so there is overlap)

- Kabu is more prone to grand gestures of love. Think impressive dinners, big bouquets, if he's making you a meal it's going to be a full course meal. That sort of thing. His 'always do your best' attitude carries over into his love life, though he does try to tone it down as Larry can sometimes be overwhelmed by it.

- Larry, conversely, shows his love in smaller ways. He sees something at the store while buying groceries he thinks Kabu would like and gets it, and doesn't really say much about it. Sending texts on his break that are just simple reminders that he loves Kabu. They balance each other out.

- both of them are a little surprised to learn they like each other back. Larry because he views Kabu as completely out of his league, and Kabu because he would have thought his more fiery personality wouldn't have meshed very well with Larry's more muted one. Kabu has had experience in the past with having lovers originally fully enjoy how passionate it is before they got tired of it and found it overbearing; Larry is just always a bit surprised people actually like him outside of him being a generally fine coworker since he's constantly hearing from others that he's boring and not very fun.

N e wayz. I like sharing and I like answering questions!!! So if anyone sees this and is curious about other headcanons of mine for these two (even just individually, not just as a pair) then send me asks!!!! I don't bite :)