#like his ass would not say that what are you on about 🤨

[kiwiorcore]

https://www.tumblr.com/kiwiorcore/754902490967851008/if-youre-a-white-creator-and-your-brownblack?source=share i'm scared of making black characters top even if it fits their canon/perceived personality and ship dynamics more, because of that nasty stereotype 😭

i feel like it's less to do with their literal positions and more with the language used to describe them or personality traits given to them (in some cases). ygm?

like if the black/darkskin character is being described using animalistic or overly aggressive language and the white/lightskin are being described as delicate, fragile, that type of language, that's where the issue lies.

i would say write them as tops but be careful with how you're describing them

[hanzajesthanza]

when sapkowski is all “i don’t believe in absolute evil” like he didn’t write like vilgefortz and leo bonhart and birkart grellenort likeeee okkkk but those guys were preeeetty evil though

[beeholyshit]

Imagine everyday waking up to a phone call of a demanding mf yelling at your ear at 6:00 AM, telling you to wake up for work or she is going to stop paying your rent

[mainfaggot]

had a moment of whimsy followed by a moment of genuine irritation

[angeltism]

I hate like 80% of my tag actually

[astonmartinii]

i will always love you | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x fem bodyguard reader

what he wasn’t supposed to fall in love with his bodyguard? this IS a rom com

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

f1insider

liked by user1, user2 and 45.925 others

f1insider: red bull have confirmed that max verstappen will have a bodyguard for the rest of this season after increasingly aggressive fan activity towards drivers at races. what do you think about it?

view all comments

user3: i completely understand that it’s insane that it’s gotten to the point where he needs a bodyguard …. but like JEALOUS

user4: i pray there’s never any need for her to do her actual job

user5: f1 need to sort it out i agree

user4: i meant because i would be no better than a man im sorry god but i want to watch her fight someone 😫

user6: this should’ve been done so long ago but i’m glad they’ve finally made the step

user7: what i find crazy is that people can afford a paddock pass and wanna fight the drivers ??? what a waste of money GIVE THEM TO ME

user8: i’m being completely serious when i say … any punk ass influencer tries to film max in the bathroom i want this bodyguard to shoot them with a gun

user9: no i agree

user10: and when i do it on purpose so she can beat the shit out of me ??

user11: choke

user12: she look familiar to any of you?

user13: i thought i had seen her before but like i just can’t quite recall

user14: swiftie here! she was taylor’s bodyguard for a couple years so you probably have seen her in paparazzi photos or something

user15: taylor swift and now max verstappen i need her agent

user16: the thought of that massive hunk of a man cowering behind her is killing me

user17: it’s killing you? it’s getting me excited this is so romance book coded

user18: you people’s obsession with putting people in “relationship” is the worst thing to happen to the sport

user19: i agree! (they would be unbelievably cute)

user20: i’m glad to see we’re all being very serious about the state of the sport where a driver needs a bodyguard and not the fact that said bodyguard is visually appealing

user21: sky i will deal with your bias if you give us the visual on her

user20: jesus wept

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 120,399 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: new job, same friendship bracelets

view all comments

user22: WE FOUND YOU

user23: hi mother !!!!

user24: we miss you serving face with taylor :(

maxverstappen1: you were a bodyguard for TAYLOR SWIFT ???

yourusername: you didn't read my CV? you had the last say on me being hired?

maxverstappen1: i let GP read them and he's never steered me wrong before

yourusername: that seems irresponsible

maxverstappen1: ANYWAY my point was going to be ... can we still get eras tour tickets?

yourusername: i can see what i can do

maxverstappen1: what if you just called taylor up?

yourusername: do NOT reference the kardashians if you want tickets

maxverstappen1: noted :3

user25: i can't have anything in this life ??? what do you mean you've worked with taylor and max?

user26: she looks so hot with a gun i'm starting to think the NRA are on to something

yourusername: absolutely not get out of here with that shit

user27: oh she educated as well? will you accept my hand in marriage?

maxverstappen1: 🤨

landonorris: and if i said you could guard me all night

yourusername: it's kinda my job to guard max all night

landonorris: but you'd rather guard me 😉

yourusername: i doubt you'd pay me as well as max

landonorris: i can pay you other ways 😉

maxverstappen1: lando i will break your fingers one by one

user28: max is out here like SHE IS MY BODYGUARD

user29: him being possessive... idk where to look but both of them - mark me scared AND horny

user30: TOO REAL

maxverstappen1

liked by schecoperez, fernandoalo_oficial and 1,452,099 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: simply lovely to be back on the top step in brazil, @yourusername you're clearly my lucky charm

view all comments

user31: max does a generational drive and immediately gets on instagram to flirt with his bodyguard

user32: he's so real for that because look at y/n

user33: i once thought swifties were crazy for being so obsessed with her but now i am just as bad lol

yourusername: nuh uh that drive was all you big boy

maxverstappen1: heheheehehe

maxverstappen1: did i make a good first impression?

yourusername: a very good first impression ;)

maxverstappen1: are you proud of me?

yourusername: very proud maxy

maxverstappen1: :3 thank you <3

user34: what in praise kink did i just read?

user35: i know he's done it in a very public forum but just leave them to do whatever they gotta do

user36: i know this man saw her in a suit and with a gun and fell to his knees

yourusername: well... close enough!

landonorris: idc about all of that ^^ i'm still going to shoot my shot

yourusername: is me rejecting you luck or talent?

landonorris: HUH ?????

yourusername: i may just be a bodyguard but i still have working ears 👍

user37: okay so she does serve more than just looks ...

user38: she's got a fan in me now

charles_leclerc: let me just sit back and observe

yourusername: you good?

charles_leclerc: i am sitting back and observing

yourusername: you are observing very loudly

charles_leclerc: i am just watching max embarrass himself, this is very healing for my younger self

maxverstappen1: RUDE

yourusername: he's not embarrassing himself if it's working?

redbullracing

liked by maxverstappen1, schecoperez and 2,451,045 others

redbullracing: statement regarding today's incident.

view all comments

user42: sorry red bull but i want that video tattooed on my eye balls

user43: i am so unbelievably hot and bothered after seeing that video

user44: red bull i'm afraid you'll have to take that video out of my cold dead hands

landonorris: i didn't realise the paddock came with dinner and a show today

oscarpiastri: lando they tried to kill max...

landonorris: well he was never in any actual danger with y/n around

oscarpiastri: do you ever read the PR briefs?

landonorris: PR whats?

oscarpiastri: this is starting to make a whole lot of sense

user45: they'll try to cancel lando for this but like he's being real

user46: no because why was george russell and kimi antonelli literally in the back of the footage eating LITERAL POPCORN

user47: i've never wanted to be two people so bad

maxverstappen1: i lived bitch

yourusername: MAX????

maxverstappen1: because of you, i'm forever in debt to you <3

yourusername: just doing my job :)

maxverstappen1: so you didn't just do it because of your undying love for me :(

yourusername: i think that would be inappropriate

maxverstappen1: THAT'S NOT FAIR, THEY CAN'T TRY AND KILL ME AND YOU CAN'T SAY YOU HATE ME IN ONE DAY

yourusername: oh maxy, do you need a cup of tea

maxverstappen1: and a hug ????

yourusername: yes, even a hug

user48: oh to have max that pathetically down bad for you

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 2,309,773 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: can you people stop thirsting over my girlfriend please - i may not be able to fight but she can

view all comments

user49: HE HAD ENOUGH

user50: i mean i too think thirst comments from my literal friends would throw me over the edge

user51: he was like winning in brazil is not enough i gotta watch my gf beat the fuck out of someone and then publicly claim her

yourusername: you're puffing out your chest in the paddock when all the girls on the internet are thirsting over you - if anyone should be jealous it's me

maxverstappen1: but you're so much better than anyone else i am horrendously in love with you

yourusername: HORRENDOUSLY

maxverstappen1: i have never felt anything like this? im scared???

yourusername: no need to be scared baby i'm in for the long ride

yourusername: and i can and WILL protect you

maxverstappen1: i need to report a hostage situation? it's me in my bedroom - i need to be saved

yourusername: you're so cheesy, you're lucky i love you

user52: i have another hostage situation - it's me in this comment section

user53: watching them be in love is like torture to me i'm so lonely

user54: they need a trigger warning i fear

maxverstappen1: @landonorris @pierregasly @olliebearman suck on that

landonorris: LEAVE ME ALONE

pierregasly: don't hate the player hate the game

olliebearman: why did you say fuck me for ????

maxverstappen1: i've seen those looks ollie don't lie to me

yourusername: babe i think he might just be scared of me

olliebearman: WOMEN IN POSITIONS OF POWER SCARE ME I'M SO SORRY Y/N

yourusername: no worries ollie! max is just possessive

maxverstappen1: ugh duh! you're the best thing that has ever happened to me, obviously i want to keep you to myself

yourusername

liked by olliebearman, maxverstappen and 342,067 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: and iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii will always love you! sorry it had to be done - whitney houston is a LEGEND

view all comments

user56: of course she knows that song, she's basically living that story

user57: OF COURSE SHE KNOWS THAT SONG IT'S ONE OF THE MOST FAMOUS SONGS EVER ???

yourusername: and you can bet your ass the red bull garage have been singing it non stop since i arrived

redbullracing: singing is our passion

maxverstappen1: they'd have to kill me to keep me from you DEADASS (pun intended)

yourusername: and that won't be happening because i'll be there to protect you

maxverstappen1: i'm not opposed to watching you deal with a problem in the paddock

landonorris:WHY WAS I MADE THE BAD PERSON WHEN I SAID I WANTED TO WATCH ???

maxverstappen1: because it was my life that an attempt was made on ?

landonorris: and?

maxverstappen1: AND?

landonorris: it would've made winning the championship much easier ?

yourusername: nuh uh i would jump into that red bull and win out of spite

maxverstappen1: it's true, i've been training her up

landonorris: you gonna let me have anything

maxverstappen1: nope :P

yourusername: nope :P

user58: oh they're so annoying 😭

user59: true ride or die couples are so irritating

user60: i still wish i was them

danielricciardo: i get fired and you get a girlfriend ??? how is this fair

maxverstappen1: idk what you want me to say, i'd never give y/n up for anything

danielricciardo: not even a red bull maxiel reunion

maxverstappen1: sorry buddy, maxiel is dead

danielricciardo: EXCUSE ME?

yourusername: sorry daniel, there's a new sheriff in town - should've charmed max when you had a chance

maxverstappen1: try as he might, he'd never be you

yourusername: awwwww considering your massive teenage crush on him... i love you!

danielricciardo: so fuck me then?

fin.

note: TWO IN ONE WEEKEND WHAT?

[racew1nn3rs]

─ 𝘚𝘌𝘊𝘙𝘌𝘛𝘚, 𝘚𝘌𝘊𝘙𝘌𝘛𝘚 🫀

max verstappen x singer!fem reader // smau

⤷ summary: when max verstappen starts commenting on the posts of the beloved singer y/n l/n, fans are confused and less than enthusiastic at the new friendship. what they could never expect is just how long they've been 'friends'...

based on this request <3

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liked by sabrinacarpenter, maxverstappen1, and 46,908 others

tagged sabrinacarpenter

ynusername my new album is now officially out on all platforms! thank you so so much for all of the love and support, and special thanks to sab for her feature on the song <33 love u bb girl 🫦🫦 now that the album's out, tour next!!! see you all soon!

23,560 comments

user1 THE ALBUM OUT. THIS IS NOT A DRILL PEOPLE THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

user2 i cannot be normal about this i fear

user3 ik her back hurts from CARRYING the music industry on her back 😩

user4 hey so WHO TF IS SO AMERICAN ABOUT?? A LOVE SONG

user5 y/n writing a love song in god's year of 2024... wow

user6 y/n in the top 10 charts, fork found in kitchen

user7 sabrina and y/n are never beating the gf allegations

ynusername damn right we're not 😏

user7 HOLY SHIR HOKY SHIT HOKST SHUT

user8 y/n's in love and it's not with me, hanging myself as we speak

user9 the comment is gonna get reported but so real op

user8 can't a woman hang herself in peace 😣

user10 album's such a banger i had this shit bumpin at my grandmas funeral 🙏🏼 rest in piece nancy 🕊️💪🏻

user11 OH MY GOD???

user12 rest in piece nancy you would've loved make you mine 😔

ynusername oh my god please tell me your joking

user10 sorry queen the grind never stops

ynusername NO SHOT

maxverstappen1 great album! 👍🏼

user13 why does he text like my father 🧍🏻‍♀️

user14 brother eughh

user15 what da hell is a polar bear doin in arlington texas

ynusername thank you max!!!

user16 y/n l/n to redbull in 2025

user17 hellurrrrr who is this man in ur likes y/n

user18 f1 driver!!

user17 Y/N NO ATHELETES PLEAEJEWK 🫵

user18 tour content soon??? i'm sat

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

user19 bro looks like he snuck onto earth, get his ass outta here

user20 grammy-award winner, vogue cover model, new york university graduate and Some Fucking Guy

user21 not y'all coming to her defense like the mighty morphin power rangers 💀💀 he's literally a world class athete and she writes pop music

user20 17.172.224.47

user21 IS THAT MY IP ADDRESS??

user20 melinda charleton

user22 IS THAT HIS MOTHER'S NAME!!?1?1!

user20 you want me to do you too???

user22 no we good 😃

user23 ruth bader ginsberg did not die for this

user24 now wtf does this have to do with babe ruth 🤨

user25 WHOOOOO 😧

user24 ... that wasn't right was it

user26 now let's be fr he does NAWT have a chance

user27 have u seen the marble-carved  goddesses these men pull, i fear he does 😔

user28 please no i feel ill

user29 TWO???? OH HELL NAW

user30 two might be pushing it, only one was confirmed

user31 jesus christ

user32 first taylor, now this

user33 yall, all he commented was great album 💀💀 yall are LEAPING to conclusions

user34 what can i say it's an art

user35 i do not see 👁️���👁️

user36 no like 💀💀 im in your walls

user37 haha max verstappen!! right!!! (theres a sniper at ur location)

user38 omg ur so right 🤩 it is about him (i have a bomb strapped to my chest)

user39 i dont mean to sound stupid, idk who that man is, if i saw him on the streets i wouldnt know a thing 🥱

user40 this is so random too like what 😭

user41 the power of kindness won't work here, i have to throw him off a building

user42 i used to be a max verslsjjwwo lover 🤩 now im just a max verslsjjwwo hater 😔

user43 NURSE 🫵 SHE'S OUT AGAIN

user44 why would u put that into the universe 😧

user45 alright, lets get you to bed grandma

user46 mari stop being delusion and go touch grass 🧍🏻‍♀️

user47 ENOUGHHHH

user48 ain't no way in hell 😭

user49 ik ur feet hurt from all this jumping to conclusions babe

user50 lets leave the parkour to the athletes 😃

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liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, and 54,789 others

ynusername italy thanks for letting me be inside you (; it was such a lovely show, expect me back asap!!!!

15,267 comments

user51 IT WAS SO GOOD I THNK I BLACKED OUT THE WHOLE TIME THO

user52 oh!

user51 oh so now this isn't a safe space

user53 LANDO AND MAX IN TGE LIKES??? NO NO NO NO

user54 ABORT ABORT ABORT

user55 y'all are doing too much 🙄 she's one of the top artists in the world, i think it's safe to say they might like her music

user56 the second picture 🧎🏻‍♀️do you need a stool cause i can kneel and be really quiet

user57 y/n fans be normal challenge (impossible!!!) (never done before)

user56 WOMP WOMP

maxverstappen1 wonderful show! 🙏🏼 you are so talented

ynusername ty max (: im glad you could come see me

user57 ain't NO WAYYYYYY

user59 THIS IS SIXKENJNG IM GONNA PUKE

sabrinacarpenter my gf looking sexy 🫦🫦🫦

ynusername only for u bbg 🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️

user60 BOOOO 🗣️ GET A ROOM

user61 do y'all need a third!!!!

user62 mamma mia pizza pasta mozzerella moment

user63 i just put u on a watchlist

user62 🧍🏻‍♀️

landonorris RAHHHHHH 🦅🫵🗣️‼️

ynusername RAHHH RAHHH RAHHH RISE POWER POWER 💪🏻‼️

user63 what the fuck

user64 OH GOD WHAT IF SHES DATING HIM????

ynusername brother eughhhh

landonorris WHAT THE FUCK????

user65 SINCE WHEN IS SHE FRIENDS WITH F1 DRIVERS HOW MANY CHAPTWRS DID I MISS

user66 apparently we all went into a universal coma while she was out galavanting cause idk how else this could've happened

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

maxverstappen1 posted to his story!

(caption: beautiful show)

22,456 replies

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

user67 someone save my girl bro, she don't know any better 😭

user68 it's like a little kid trying to touch the hot stove, LIKE STOP THAT!! DON'T DO THAT

user69 am i the only one who thinks they'd be cute together....

user70 YES!?!?

user71 there is literally no fucking way he bagged her

user72 losing y/n to european f1 driver would be the biggest american tragedy since 2001

user73 i had to read this shit twice, op what r u waffling abt 🫵😧

user74 can't even be nonchalant about this one bro, i'm chalanting hard asf

user75 we do not care

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

liked by redbullracing, f1, and 78,567 others

tagged maxverstappen1

ynusername first time in monaco, safe to say i enjoyed myself! so happy to see you shine this time my love<3

25,788 comments

user76 oh. my. fucking. god

user77 THEYRE FUCKING DATING OH MYFODNSJ

user78 THAT SHOULD BE MEEEE HOLDING YOUR HAND THAT SHOULD BE MEEE MAKING YOU LAUGHHH 🎤

user79 i'm in mourning

sabrinacarpenter CHEATER 🫵

ynusername BABY IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, IT WAS JUST ONE TIME 😣😣😣 IT WAS A MISTAKE

maxverstappen1 we've been dating for 2 years??

sabrinacarpenter SHUT UP FAST & FURIOUS NO ONE ASKED YOU

user80 i'm sorry 😃 two Y EARS

user81 i feel like i just got dumped. y/n don't do this, the kids need you 😔

maxverstappen1 i got p1 for you, i love you 🫶🏼

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

hope you all enjoyed! please let me know your thoughts and feel free to leave a request for me to write something for your fav <3

[ham1lton]

HE SAYS TO BE COOL (I DON’T KNOW HOW YET)

pairings: jenson button x maneater!reader.

warnings: large age gap - around twenty years. a lot of judgement and criticism as there is scrutiny of your relationship.

summary: after a party at a mutual friend’s, you and jenson are photographed leaving together. the large age gap causes concern especially after your admission that you had a crush on him as a young driver.

author’s note: so this is NOT a part of the main maneater storyline. this is just a what if scenario. just something indulgent for the maneaters out there who go for dilfs! last time i checked the friendship group poll, it was practically 50/50 so until that’s decided, there is a big group of all them. also as per usual, there is a poll at the end so please vote <3

— a part of the maneater series ꕤ

liked by messybitch1, landonorris and 1,728,838 others.

ham1ltonshaderoom: after the release of lewis hamilton’s newest almave drink, formula one driver y/n l/n, better known as maneater, was seen outside of the event looking quite cozy with former formula one driver and forty-four year old jenson button. how are we feeling about this new power couple, ham1ltons?

view all comments

user1: poor lewis. his drink release has been completely overshadowed by this news 😭

user3: age gap couples never last long lol. good luck but he’ll move on to the next twenty something as soon as she shows one sign of aging.

user34: SHUT UP HES SO FINE 😭 i’d do the same as you y/n girl.

-> user51: LIKE 😭😭😭 bffr. most of the ppl here would fold for their older celeb crush.

user7: idk who’s benefiting more from this relationship? but it’s definitely not love.

user9: Y/N!!!! I’LL SAVE YOU!!!

user2: not jenson going through his mid-life crisis post-divorce. girl u can do better.

user8: maneater… pls say this is a publicity stunt.

-> user73: no cause this genuinely might be her ticking off her childhood crush list. which is real but idk if it’s good for her?

user6: is she fucking all the aging drivers? or is jenson the only one stupid enough to say yes?

user25: i support it. i met my husband when i was 21 and he was 37 and we have been together almost twenty years this may. not all age gap relationships are inherently bad.

-> user4: you’re a victim 😕

user12: y’all are gross. any of us would jump at a chance to date our celeb crush. jenson is hot and y/n is a consenting adult. she’s not a child anymore. she didn’t even know him as a child. bffr.

————————————————————————

liked by bestie2, georgerussell63 and 3,828,782 others.

yourusername: what do you do when you haven’t seen your besties for ages? do a photoshoot in the middle of the street. how did you spend your weekend?

view all comments

bestie1: we look so good!!! it was soo good to catch up babe. we missed u!!!

-> bestie2: we’ve all been so busy it’s insane how we’ve not been able to see each other more. i was going insane without my girls!!!

user1: is she not even gonna address it?!

-> user6: big ass elephant in the room.

user4: we knew how you spent your weekend ms l/n.

landonorris: am i not your bestie? why wasn’t i included?

-> georgerussell63: or me?!

-> alex_albon: or me? 🤨

-> logansargeant: or me?? 😕

-> oscarpiastri: i get why i wasn’t included tbf.

user10: u think posting pretty girls will make us forget ur weekend escapades? … maybe. keep posting.

user2: can you guys not make everything about a man? who cares if she’s dating jenson? what does that have to do with her ability to do her job or advocate for causes?! i feel sorry for her because you guys clearly dislike her for stupid reasons and are twisting this into a way to jump her ‘ethically’ which doesn’t even make sense. the only problematic thing she’s done is date a man older than her. grow up, my god.

*liked by landonorris, bestie1, bestie2, georgerussell63, oscarpiastri, alex_albon, logansargeant and 45,728 others. *

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liked by charles_leclerc, bestie1 and 1,092,728 others.

yourusername: italy, i love you ♥︎

view all comments

user3: get you a man that flies u out whenever ur sad.

-> user7: why are we not assuming she flew HIM out?

-> bestie2: he definitely flew her out. lmao.

user89: feels like a disaster waiting to happen lol.

-> logansargeant: not every relationship is like your parents. get therapy instead of projecting onto strangers.

user6: still a whore. i can’t stand this bitch.

-> oscarpiastri: stay mad! she’s young, successful and has many people who love and support her while you’re cursed to just scroll through her posts and seethe in your head. this one sided beef is crazy 🤣🤣!

user9: they’re cute!! idk how i’m the only one who thinks this.

user67: she’s still ugly.

-> alex_albon: looked at your pictures mate and cheers, my nan just vomited.

user12: when he leaves her >>>>

-> georgerussell63: 6.220.183.12

-> user3: NOT THE IP ADDRESS HELP?2&/&

user8: jenson. call me when you need a real woman.

-> bestie1: where is the real woman you speak of? she’s definitely NOT you.

user21: honestly? i just can’t get on board with this ship.

-> landonorris: you can’t even afford a ticket 🤣 delete this.

user10: i’m not saying shit cause why the y/n defense squad dragging people in the comments 😭

liked by oscar.priv, alex.priv and 21 others.

maneater.priv: NEED HIM CARNALLY <3

view all comments

bestie1priv: thank god he doesn’t know about ur priv account. i think he’d combust.

-> maneater.priv: nah he giggles. he thinks its funny.

oscar.priv: everyone on a campaign to save you from jenson when they should be saving jenson from YOU!

bestie2priv: LOVE U BOTH <333 cutest couple!

lando.priv: dare you to post this on ur main 😏🤣😁😝

-> george.priv: 43.0.109.12

-> lando.priv: MAN COME ON 😭

don’t want to miss out on my next post? join my taglist! if you enjoyed this, check out my masterlist or buy me a coffee! no pressure ! <3

[herrinarte]

The ACOTAR fandom is so weird because what do you mean Tamsand isn’t one of the most popular ships 🤨 Tamlin is literally on Rhysand’s mind 24/7, either this man is massively insecure, gay as fuck for Tamlin or massively insecure about the fact that Tamlin ain’t fuckin him right now and could be with someone else so he has the uncontrollable urge to tell his ex-boyfriend to kill himself. How are people not saying this is gay????

And then there’s whatever the hell is going on with the bat boys. Fucking in the same room? What you just gonna stare at each other? go one step further and just do it with each other. Stop being a coward bro 😤✋

And Azriel choking Eris, uh it’s just floor play. Don’t worry it’s cool, they have a list of dos and don’t that they made when they got married.

How can you look at Lucien ‘fire in his blood’ Vanserra and Tamlin ‘literally a big ass beast’ and go no I don’t think they have had nasty passionate sex under under a cherry blossom tree 🤓 like huh????? They’re literally roommates. Lucien lost an eye for Tamlin. Tamlin felt more betrayal over loosing Lucien than Feyre. YOUR HONOUR THEY ARE IN LOVE

Then the Valkyries…um gay too. Lesbian throuple. Come on people get creative. The girls are kissing and cuddling and having beautiful sex and you are all boring.

I have never seen a fandom go so feral for dry ass ships in my life. Literally no other fandom would ignore the plethora of gay ships.

This is your sign to stop caring about what is canon and start being fun, cool and interesting xxx

[burstinn]

REQUEST!

as a male!Reader, I feel very represented in your works,

could you write a male!Reader that’s really tall? Like, humongous? In hight, and body? (In the military as well)

I always see male!Readers that are so small and tiny and baby.

like, no. You get me? Just saying. Thanks!

Male! Reader with the height and body of a goddamn Monster.

(Headcanons)

Note: some mentions on top reader but I like to keep it ambiguous. So you can read it as a switch! Reader. This is a quick drabble of some Hcs

People shown: Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Price, Keegan, Graves, Nikto, König, Horangi, Logan Walker,Roach, Makarov, Krueger

-Reader is 6'5.

-Basically built like the Russian terminator guy

GHOST

- Got shocked when he first saw you, wanted to seem more intimidating than you.

-So he puffed out his chest and glared at you.. Bro wants to challenge you nahh 😭😭🙏🙏

-You would fold him tho ngl (in the ring and in bed fr fr)

-when he got comfortable with you kinda jealous his title of the big, tall intimidating man got taken away.

-When you sparred with Ghost it was a tough fight but you managed to get Ghost in a chokehold wrapping one of your tough bulging sexy ass arms around Ghost's neck.

-Never knew he wanted to be man handled so bad it was Hot he had to excuse himself and run off because he got hard.

-Starts imaging if your cock is just as big.. Spoiler alert.. It is..

SOAP

-Looks at you then Ghost mind blown that there was someone more humongous than Ghost

-Teased Ghost for awhile

-Drools over your pecs..

-He totally dreams of being crushed by you..

Or being crushed between Ghost and you.. Or both..

-Asks if he could feel your guns (Your arms..)

(IT COULD ALSO BE YOUR HUGE THROBBING CO-)

-Keeps glancing at your cock. Even though it's clothed.. I mean look at you.. Your manhood is basically too tight for your pants he can literally see your outline.

-Soap asked if he could measure your Length.. So he could see how far it could go inside of him YK?! YOU UNDERSTAND.

GAZ

-More interested than having dirty thoughts.

-Keeps asking how you got that big

-Wants to be just as strong as you

-Cutie patootie (T_T)

-Basically hangs around you to see how you work

-Even follows you so he could watch you train and spar

-Asks about your diet and if how your body looks is genetic

-inspired by you. Like a child (😭😭WHALUAAHHAH GAZZ)

PRICE

-Beneficial for him I mean he gets to have another soldier that's just as intimidating as Ghost.. Maybe even more.

-Is like a proud father

-Talks to everyone about you and how bla bla bla

-Trains with you

-He'd show you tricks and tips on how he trains and you show him tips and tricks on how you train

-Probably has a picture of you at his desk.. Beside the other pictures of his other not biological family. Aka. The whole 141..basically has a pic of everyone they all family up in 'ere

KEEGAN

-Heh.. Yknow.. Pictures..

-In the showers in lockers makes sure he's there near so he can see you in all your glory

-Probably had wet dreams about you

-Also makes sure he's there when your training. It's not like he's obvious everyone there is fuckin watching you

-What's that? You wearing a compression shirt? 🤨🤨 nuh uh in the sex chamber you go 👉

-Touching, touching, touching EVERYTHING

NIKTO

-Quiet

-What the fuck

-Silent panicking

-Jealous very jealous

-Compares himself to you, would train harder just so he can look like you (bb nooo 😭😭)

-Would watch also how you train your body so he could copy it

-You caught him once training in the middle of the night.. And he's using your technique on how you use the punching bags.. He's just getting some stuff wrong..

-When he notices you he got.. Slightly embarrassed and angry.. Panicked inside when you came closer asking him if he was using your technique in training

-You trained him properly on how you do it.

-so like now.. You train him in the middle of the night..

GRAVES

-same as price shows you off but more in an annoying way

-Hes boasting

-Would face you off against his strongest shadows no diff you still win.. Yuuuhhh

-Subtle touching like hand on shoulder, arm, head whatever.

KÖNIG

-Relieved that he has someone that looks like him.. Albeit slightly shorter.. Still!

-Got nervous meeting you first.. Forced himself to act tough to impress you I mean he is a colonel

-Makes sure to be in missions with you. Wants to see you in your most serious and intimidating

-Got intimidated himself once he saw how you act on field

-Tries to be on your good side the whole time

-One day he was watching you and just started thinking about YOU KNOWWW!!

-Blasphemous! He got red and cried to Horangi about it

HORANGI

-You know about this guy

-He's silly

-He'd read fanfics thinking it's him and you

-he'd make fanfics too, about you and him maybe adds König

-Shows it to König all proud and shit as if König isn't looking at him with absolute horror in his face when he reads what Horangi wants to do with you or you with him.

-He's delusional

-Slapped your ass and blamed it on someone else that's near him. It was König.

-Is it as veiny as your arms? A man can only dream.

-gives you a soda can and tells you to crush it in your arms.. Better yet in between your legs.

-Would then tell you like "good now do my head"

-PlEASE let him be between your thighs

LOGAN WALKER

-Rolled his eyes when he saw you

-Avoids you like the plague

-Why doesn't he like you? No idea. He a big pussy bitch is what. He sad you get more dick n pussy than him.

-Complained about you to Hesh

-He may not like you. He can't lie tho. You are good at your job so like he can't do anything about that

MAKAROV

-Sex Chamber. Now.

ROACH

-Quiet around you..

-Looks up at you like a damn bug. It's cute. He likes it when he looks up at you

-He'd jump on you and crawls around like a cockroach

-haha funi jok

-Would use your shoulder as a seat.

-If you do pushups he'd be on top of your back

ALEX KELLER

-Oh..

-Audible gulp sound (haha he's drinking your seme-)

KRUEGER

-Curses in German

-Dreaming about HAHAHAHAAHAH

-If he's fingering his gun to clean it he just.. Thinks..

-If he sees YOU finger your gun to clean it.. That's it he's done.

-He's dragging you somewhere

[covenists]

✦ CHAMPION TO YOUR HEART, L. NORRIS

everybody knows about his relationship with a motogp rider, but there's another side that they didn't know about this.

req: Could you do a smau about lando dating a MotoGP world champion? And the media expects him to be bitter because she’s younger than him and a world champion when he hasn’t won a race, but in reality he’s just immensely proud

₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆｡✦˚‎

yourusername

circuit ricardo tormo

liked by marcmarquez93, landonorris, and 281,905 others

yourusername the prettiest night in valencia

view 15,720 comments...

alex_albon call me, we're going out (of course with lilymhe too🙄)

⤷ lilymhe what was that mean??????

username bf lando is appearing in the likes i see 👀👀

username she looks so good with the suittt😍😍

username y/n ilysmmmm

username slayed the fits as usual

lissiemackintosh i would love to see you race there

⤷ yourusername and i would love to see you be on the paddock

⤷ username two mothers interacting

username that hair is so good

username the prettiest motogp rider fr

username can't wait to see you on the track on sunday

username imagine we heard her national anthem for the nth time this year is the same as max's wilhelmus in f1

username i woke up and i'll heard y/n's anthem

username idk if i want to be her or lando rn

username she's literally so cool

username it's practically a cycle bcs if i watch f1 it's gonna be dutch anthem, and if i watch motogp it's going to be italian anthem. EVERY TIMEEEEE😔💀

lando.jpg

liked by lailahasanovic, yourusername, and 711,735 others

lando.jpg elevator love

view 8,288 comments...

username wait who took the pic?🫢

⤷ daniel3.jpg it's always been me😔😔😔

⤷ maxfewtrell OR me????🤨

⤷ mclaren 🤨🤨 or me

⤷ quadrant OR ME????

⤷ yourusername now what the hell's going on

username he looks like lance

username SOMEBODY SAID HE LOOKED LIKE LANCE💀💀😭

⤷ lancestroll that's not me...

⤷ username but how do lando looks like him

⤷ username who took this is a skinwalker

⤷ danielricciardo i waste all of my talents for this

username okay just admit now who took this

⤷ username girl no one know just let that be a mystery of the year

username she looks so good thoooo

username she looks drunk

landonorris wait how do i look like lance

YOURUSERNAME'S INSTASTORY

yourusername added to their story!

INSTAGRAM

daniel3.jpg

liked by landonorris, yourusername, fabioquartararo20 and 159,733 others

daniel3.jpg he is a boyfriend of the current motogp world champion, and still eat a canned choco cookies 🫵🏻

view 31,607 comments...

landonorris i don't know why am i even liking this but CHOCO COOKIES IS GOOD CHANGE MY MIND 🙄🙄

⤷ yourusername i don't really liked the canned one but idk 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

⤷ daniel3.jpg look she's siding with me

⤷ landonorris the BETRAYAL

⤷ username noooo y/n i thought we were something

⤷ carlossainz55 but true though tinned cookies are very dry

⤷ landonorris NOT YOU TOO 😭😭😭

⤷ username he made it looks so good though i am tempted😭

⤷ oscarpiastri it's three holes out already, is he finished it though?

⤷ danielricciardo clean. 🧽

⤷ landonorris DON'T BELIEVE HIM

username he looks cute when he's laughing

username if my granny was there, she's going to throw away the cookies and only to keep the tin

username remind me more of that pedro pascal skit on snl

fernandoalo_oficial poor little norris

username why am i hearing it in my head???

mclaren 🍪🍪

username why is he always taking his random ass picture?

⤷ username they're husband and wife do you not realize?

⤷ username the 'HUSBAND AND WIFE' part got me on the floor🫵🏻😭😭😭

username how is he always taking their cute moments

⤷ danielricciardo tell him that it's his turn to capture me and heidi's moments now

⤷ yourusername nah cause she's liking a girl riding a motorcycle more now

⤷ danielricciardo SAY SIKE

⤷ heidiberger_ 🤭

⤷ username omg babe SAME

⤷ username crazy how this is just from lando's pics

⤷ landonorris and why is it always me

username why am i still curious about why did y/n decided to have a boyfriend like him

⤷ username what do you mean?

⤷ username yeah i mean she's the first woman world champion in motogp this year and how about him? name his win in the first place.

⤷ username they both got their own advantage and disadvantage

⤷ username but does he even got jealous or smth or just uses her for fame?

⤷ username bro wdym they both are literally famous even before they're started dating.

yourusername

liked by georgerussell63, centralcee, and 391,433

yourusername you're a bad influence.

view 22,560 comments...

username why am i having a bad feeling here

username bad influence who now girl

username where is lando when we need him the most

⤷ username he ain't going in the liking section ⁉️⁉️❗❗😧😧😨

username NAH LANDO WHATD U DO

username but she suited car tho

username wonder who the bad influence would be... 🫢🤔

⤷ username i see mercedes here then idc

⤷ username don't make me think it's lewis

username lando boy what you do

username i see george, but i don't see lewis

⤷ username relaaaax i think the bad influence means that she's now into car

⤷ username keep being delulu darling we're all with u

⤷ username but what if

⤷ username 🫷no don't even

username convertible and the racing jacket suited her sm

YOURUSERNAME'S INSTASTORY

yourusername added to their story!

caption: stealing pecco63 spare helmet for a bit

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

liked by fabioquartararo20, marcmarquez93, landonorris, and 1,590,726 others

yourusername how's my new look? #ad

👤: hrc_motogp, repsol

view 46,714 comments...

danielricciardo HOLY SHIIITT

danielricciardo i swear it's far from my radar

⤷ landonorris same honestly

username SHE HAS TATTOOS??????

username daniel's holy shit is me rn

username omg rosalia.vt he encontrado "LA" motomami de todas las motomamis.

username SHE GON BRUNETTE??

pecco63 brown looks good on you😁

⤷ yourusername they've always told me right😛

landonorris i started my day with this is a great starter

⤷ yourusername don't forget to brush your teeth!

⤷ username "DON'T FORGET TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH" AJSJWJWIS SHE'S MOTHERING HIM ALREADY 😭😭

username she is literally mother

username landonorris how about we switch gf

⤷ landonorris no thank you, i'm perfectly fine with this one😋

INSTAGRAM

landonorris

liked by alex_albon, carlossainz55, and 287,012 others

landonorris i feel like a proud father 👶🏼

👤: yourusername

view 10,358 comments...

username THE HAIR WAS FAKE???😭💀😭😭😭😭😭

⤷ username we all knew it's just a wig bruv

username i know she must be so exhausted like damn she look fainted

username their hand holding is so cute

username MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE

georgerussell63 R.I.P. repsol y/n 🪦

carlossainz55 doodle master™

⤷ yourusername 😒

⤷ landonorris i had a bad feeling about this

⤷ yourbestfriend because she's gonna get u rn

username still not get over to the fact that hot mama version of y/n is just for an ad

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

liked by isahernaez, francesca.cgomes, and 548,163 others

yourusername celebratory kisses (thx maxfewtrell)

view 56,820 comments...

maxfewtrell i think you should do her technique on thanking for pictures

⤷ landonorris oh c'mon i've thanked you many times 🙄

⤷ maxfewtrell yeah and many times too that you've forgotten about that

⤷ username y/n posting about her and lando's kiss after her wins, meanwhile lando and max:

⤷ username this world separated into max and lando and y/n and lando

⤷ username i'll definitely into the first one

username this one's special for their kiss only

username he is so proud of her, and this post is everything

username his interview about her is melting my arse out, i want him

username i feels like it's their hard launch

⤷ username they've been together since 2 yrs ago

username idk but i hate when media is always like "oh you're the man and why are you not having the wins like your gf did" like they should stfu for a sec

⤷ username and what's that question they throw on him like "is she younger" i mean ???

username but anyway i'm happy that they're both are happy with each other's wins and losses, the two of them truly deserves the whole world.

username they just have to accept the fact that they're just belong like that. with or without the championship.

lando.jpg

liked by carlossainz55, schecoperez, and 641,782

lando.jpg wild wind.

comments on this post has been disabled

YOURUSERNAME'S INSTASTORY

yourusername added to their story!

caption: guess who's riding with me?

₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆｡✦˚‎

taglist: @queenofmanydreams @muglermami @4limq @avengers-assemble123456 @cabbyhabs @meowtastick @4mula-1 @miarabanana @amel1ee @dinosushilun1

[deadghosy]

HAZBIN HOTEL X ROBLOX NOOB! READER

prompt: your best friend John Doe hacked you into a universe where hell is much different in your mind

“OOF-” you said as you press the buttons on your ps5. A portal opens as blocky person with yellow skin exits out of the portal looking at you. “JD!” You said with a “:P” face. “noob…you get to get out the house more…” John Doe said with a static voice as he picked up your bloxy body and thrown you into a portal as you kept smiling

“:) yay I’m falling.” You said out loud as you felt yourself fall in the air. You fell but landed on your feet like always. You look around to see that it smell like must, ass, and most importantly fire. You walked around just smiling as demons and sinners looked as if you were some weirdo…..

You came across the hotel and applied for a job to be the schedule manager. You got a red outfit to match vaggie and Charlie as you grab a flat board and started to write who gets to do what.

Noob! Reader is the type to pull out a cannon out of fucking no where and fuck someone’s life up🦆(a/n: pinkie pie type shit)

I can see Alastor watching you do a r6 dance as he just looked at you weirdly with a strained smile. You literally said out loud “/E DANCE!” And started to dance 😭

Lucifer got scared because he accidentally let you dove off a roof…but you respawned with a blue force field around you making Lucifer think you were an angel.

You love the egg boiz as they love you too! You do color sheets with them as Pentious brings you guys some cookies like a mom💗

You had onetime pulled a chainsaw out because husk said he needed to get a haircut on his fur. You literally pullled it out of no while husk jolted looking at your crazed face as you reved it up.

“You said you needed a hair cut!!” “I SAID HAIR CUT! NOT END MY LIFE YOU FUCKER!” Husk yells back as you chase him smiling like “:D” with the chainsaw. It was giving scooby doo as you kept chasing him.

Lucifer would be weirded out with Noob as noob just sticks their tongue out like the :P face while Lucifer pokes you curious about your game like box body.

I imagine noob! Reader showing Charlie a picture of bacon hair boy who is doing orange justice in the back. “Oh is that your friend?” Charlie says with a nervous smile at how your friend’s hair literally looks like bacon or is. You nodded excitedly as you wave your phone happily at bacon hair boy.

You blasted “it’s raining tacos” outside of the Vee’s tower when learning your friends had opps in there. So you wanted to annoy them.

This lasted for 2 days until vaggie had found you and took you home as you screamed out the song LOUD AND PROUD

I can imagine Lucifer making you a duck hat that says “don’t duck with me!” It’s so cute 🦆

I headcannon noob!reader to be the most dangerous being in hell as they literally been to every other gun and fighting game of the roblox universe.

NOOB SOLOS‼️‼️🔥

You know those badass Roblox games with those cool combat moves? That’s what you use. 🤨

You grabbed a sinner’s face and run dragging their body in the ground with a smile. You lifted your arm and swing them around as they flew to who knows where as the crew behind you had an either shocked or entertained face.

One time Charlie and you were shopping in a mall and you peaked over the boarder to keep people from falling. “I wonder if I can die from this height.” “NOOB NO-” that’s when you had to get a kid leash on you anytime you go out with the staff.

It was a nice day as Angel was throwing knives to increase his skills. You walked by him curiously grabbing two knives and throwing them at the same time. Making it hit the bullseye as Angel looked at you shock.

“Whoa kid, how did you learn to do that?” Angel asked pulling out the knives you made in the bullseye. “I was murder once!” You said with a happy smile as you walked away. Angel dust has the most confused face ever(picture below)

I headcannon noob!reader to be like Kirby. So like noob pulls out a knife to be murder, and then they could pull out a gun as Sheriff✨🦆

“Pew pew pew” you said as you stood on the balcony of the hotel as you shot at random sinners. Alastor appeared behind you confused but laughs at the misery of the sinner running when a missed shot almost killed them.

One time Angel gave you a Tommy gun not suspecting you know how to use it….you literally started to blast sinners away-

You SHOT AN OLD LADY ALSO😨

yeah Angel never gave you his Tommy gun ever again.

As you stayed in hell, you didn’t know that you would be spied on by the angels as Adam laughs at how chaotic and naive you are.

You’re so use to bullshit in Roblox you just stand there like “🧍🏾” as shit goes on. Literally when Charlie was panicking when the extermination was due in 6 months

During a uno game you ate a card as husk was trying to win but forfeited in anger as you screamed out uno. Leaving the missing card out of your mouth….it got quiet so quick as husk chased after you.

Niffty finds you amazing as you both have crazed tendencies. You both literally cause made chaos around places 🤭

YOU USE YOUR ADOPT ME SCAMMING SKILLS TO SCAM PEOPLE 😭😭 I CAN SEE THIS

The overlords are confused when they see Lucifer bring you to a meeting for once. You just sat there eating a taco. “Ello.” You said waving your blocky arm at them.

When watching the horror movies with the crew, you don’t react at all with Alastor as you been in lots of horror games with that one guy named Guest…you miss home and him.

I headcannon that you once accidentally summoned John Doe because you sneezed and he literally stood there as you hugged him. The rest of the crew was confused thinking he was your brother.

[bubbless-s]

Can we please get Kyle & Kenny general dating headcanons☹️🙏

↳ ❝ [Kyle and Kenny dating headcanons] ¡! ❞

- ʚɞ genre: fluff

- ʚɞ warnings: slightly suggestive

-ʚɞ a/n: aged up characters (highschool)

Masterlist

Kyle

★ He’s so dorky bye. But you know what they say a jew in the streets, a freak in the sheets.

★ Kyle also yaps a lot.

★ You have him saved as “Kyle 🤓👆”

★ Jokes aside he loves you so much.

★ Does the ‘fuckboy’ face to make you laugh. Its an inside joke now.

★ Probably found a shitty tiktok routine for his curles and makes you do it.

★ Gets so red in the sun. You have to remind him that he needs to put on sunscreen often. Its also easy to depict when he didn’t put on sunscreen because something smells burnt.

★ If you can’t cook Kyle would roast the hell out of your „roast“ chicken.

★ Kyle has diabetes so he sadly gets sick more often. Although he greedily enjoys being looked after, also Kyle would absolutely pretend to still be sick even if he is very well. Just a little white lie to keep your attention on him.

★ Back hugs, back kisses you name it. Kyle also has long fingers so..🥰 this is so random Im sorry

★Usually he prefers to be the big spoon but when Kyle is very stressed or not in a good mood he NEEDS to be held by you tightly.

★ Oh and he would also complain that you’re not holding him tight enough.

Kenny

♡ Kenny basically lives at your place.

♡ Very handsy. If you ask him about it he’ll say he just likes feeling you under his fingers 🤨

♡ Kennys got no feeling of shame he can and will kiss you anytime. If you’re uncomfortable he will drag you to a non crowded place and kiss you there. You can’t win either way

♡ You know that sound “do you wanna make out?” “no” “*sobbing* me neither i wanna go to sleep *agressive snoring*” thats him and you in a nutshell

♡ Slaps your ass. Idk I feel like thats such a Kenny thing to do.

♡ Gets you flowers. (From where? From the graveyard from the last time he has been there. Get it?)

♡ Has a weird quirk of rubbing his cheek against yours.

♡ If you bend down he will be respectfully looking.

♡ Tried to order you a plush once, a cute teddy bear but the thing that came was pretty deformed. Thats his pfp now in all his socials.

♡ Kenny is a bully in bed.💔

♡ Cuddling will be done nakey. No questions asked.

♡ Overall Kenny loves you so much he might get heart eyes while looking at you.

[xndrexcruz]

Unexpected Love (smau)

✮- pairing: joão félix x fem!reader

✮- faceclaim: madison beer

✮- summary: when an unexpected turn of events causes a beloved pop star and a rising fútbol star to unexpectedly fall in love and share their story through social media

✮- warnings: none

✮- author’s note: this is pure fiction, also this is my first time doing anything like this so if you have any tips or feedback that would be great. also jude bellingham and reader have a pure platonic friendship.

@username1

❤️ 💬 ↗️

liked by 691,652 others

username1 are we gonna talk about what my man just said a few minutes ago..

view all 88,793 comments

username2 UHMM… when was this?!? (not that im mad about this at all 🌚)

username3 SAY WHATTTT

username4 wait why do i kinda ship…

username5 he’s upgrading 😌✊

username6 MY WIFE AND HUSBAND!?!!?

@yourusername

❤️ 💬 ↗️

liked by sabrinacarpenter, itsnicolewallace, judebellingham, and 1,920,077 others

yourusername finishing my newest album can be expected to drop later this week 🤍🎶

view all 72,583 comments

sabrinacarpenter can’t wait to listen ☺️

yourusername liked this comment

username7 can we be expecting any feature by anyone 🌚

username8 i wish i wanna see her feature with someone again!!

username9 i’ve been counting down the days since your last album im so excited!

judebellingham can you even play the guitar? 🤨

yourusername yes now why are you hating 😒

judebellingham IM JUST ASKING

@yourusername

❤️ 💬 ↗️

liked by joaofelix79, judebellingham, milliebobbybrown, and 2,973,328

yourusername ackk i can’t believe it after 2 motnths of working my ass off y’all can finally go stream UNEXPECTED ENCHANTMENT 😌 anddd not only that but i’ll be having a tour in europe/the uk for it as well, so go buy tickets if interested i’d love to see all of you there! 🤗 i’m so happy that i was able to pull this off in the spam of 2 months thanks to not just my production team but a certain someone who might or might not be my muse thank you 😉 but HOPE YALL LOVE UNEXPECTED ENCHANTMENT!!! 🫶🏼

view all 962,895 comments

judebellingham so did your “muse” send all those flowers 👀

yourusername wouldn’t you like to know

username10 not jude being a chismoso

username11 he’s so real for that

username12 i love their relationship

theweekend congrats on your album

yourusername liked this comment

username13 okay joão i see you liking her post 🌚

username14 our man is finally making a move 🙈

username15 can’t he just like her post?

username13 i’m just saying he might be liking it since he likes her

username16 ARE WE NOT GONNA ADDRESS SHE PRACTICALLY SAID SHE HAS A BF BY CALLING HIM HER MUSE AND THE WINKY FACE?!?!

username17 NO CAUSE LITERALLY WHAT ARE THE THEORIES GUYSS

@joaofelix79 just posted a story!

seen by 8,459,035

@joaofelix79

❤️ 💬 ↗️

liked by yourusername, pablogavi, redbullracing and 1,156,833 others

joaofelix79 thank you for the amazing experience, i had a lot of fun! 🏎️

tagged @f1 and @redbullpor

view all 378,563 comments

username18 YOURE SO FINE JOÃO 🤭

username19 OMGGG DONT PANICK BUT Y/N LIKED

username20 AHHH SCREAMING AND CRYING

username21 uhmm wasn’t y/n supposed to be at this event too ?? 👀

username22 are we not gonna talk about who took these pictures 🧐

username23 probably his manager or a photographer?

@yourusername

❤️ 💬 ↗️

liked by scuderiaferrari, joaofelix79, redbullracing, and 1,847,384 others

yourusername fast cars and even faster melodies! had a blast at the event! 🏎️🎶

tagged @redbullracing

view all 153,472 comments

username24 spotted at the same event…. is it official yet? ❤️

username25 woww you and joão are both here! coincidence? i think not! 😉

username26 it was not a coincidence let’s be honest 😏

redbullracing we were happy to have you! come again soon

yourusername dw you’ll see me again!

@yourusername just posted a story!

seen by 7,749,264

judebellingham has replied to your story

is it who i presume it is ⁉️

yourusername

who knows maybe.. 🤷🏻‍♀️

judebellingham

girl you know damn well 😒

fraternizing with the enemy is a big no no

yourusername

womp womp

go cry about it ☺️

judebellingham

i see where ur loyalty stands now 😔

@foxsoccerspn

❤️ 💬 ↗️

liked by 472,859 others

foxsoccerspn joão félix’s pointing gesture says it all. a win dedicated to someone special in the crowd! 🌹

tagged @joaofelix79

view all 328,561 comments

username27 pointing to his lucky charm? 🫣

username28 idk what else y’all need as proof to him and y/n dating SHE WAS LITERALLY AT THE GAME

username29 i really hope they are cause i shipppp!!

username30 this celebration means everything 🥰

username31 he’s so sweet i need a joão to my y/n like by yesterday

@yourusername just posted a story!

seen by 9,475,946

@barcelonasportsnews

❤️ 💬 ↗️

liked by hugofelix18 and 368,946 others

barcelonasportsnews caught by surprise! joão félix and y/n l/n, from stages and fields to barcelona’s streets! 🌇❤️

tagged @joaofelix79 and @yourusername

view all 274,921 comments

username32 I CALLED IT FROM THE START AND YALL ALL SAID I WAS DELUSIONAL

username33 awww they’re so cute wth 🥺

username34 HELLO ?? ARE WE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT HUGO LIKING THE POST

username35 NO CAUSE I HAD TO DOUBLE CHECK TOO 😭

username36 the new it couple 😍

username37 i’m just so happy he’s moved on from magui

username38 as he should she’s a bop 😝

@yourusername

❤️ 💬 ↗️

liked by joaofelix79, lamineyamal, judebellingham, and 4,643,275 others

yourusername he’s got a way of turning every doubt into gold, with him by my side, there’s a story yet untold 💗

tagged @joaofelix79

view all 2,975,832 comments

joaofelix79 minha linda namorada 💗 (my pretty girlfriend 💗)

yourusername o meu lindo namorado 💗 (my pretty boyfriend 💗)

username39 AHH ITS FINALLY OFFICIAL

username40 i knew her album was about him 🤭🤭

lamineyamal mis padres ✌🏽(my parents ✌🏽)

yourusername mi niño (my boy)

joaofelix79 creí que yo era tu chico 😒 (i thought i was your boy 😒)

yourusername mmm los dos? (😁 mmm both of y’all? 😁)

useranme41 he’s living proof you can get with your celebrity crush!

[cherbexr]

Sentinel Prime as...

your music manager??

^^(the readers laughing at how ridiculous this dumbass hc is)

Not really a Sentinel Prime x Reader romantic post

Warnings: Bad language, slight fat shaming, Sentinel Prime

-------------------------------------------------------

yeah wtf cherry? what kind of headcanon is this 🤨 Just something a little different!

I like to think that there are different forms of entertainment in Iacon. There's of course the Iacon 5000, but there are other forms like strip clubs and television shows like Iacon's Got Talent.

Sentinel Prime was invited to judge the show, and he took the opportunity to show Iacon how involved he is with the city and how great a leader he is!...

You decided to try for Iacon's Got Talent to show off your awesome vocals! Unknowingly THE Sentinel Prime would be there to judge.

You stepped out on the stage when on cue and a round of applause was heard as you did. You smile and wave and look over to the judges and gasp when you see a stupid smile from a royal blue and golden big ass bot.

You introduced yourself and your talent and after a few moments, you did your thing.

When you were done, whoops and applause were heard again and the judges were impressed.

One judge gave their opinion and the next until it was Sentinel's turn. He probably said some shit about how outstanding you were and yada yada.

"I would like to personally endorse this talented bot and help them prosper!"

Oh! That's great news!

.

.

.

Wait what??

Did he just say he wanted to endorse you?? No way the leader of Iacon wants to endorse you and make you become the singer you've always wanted to be! This is great news! Heck yeah you're accepting that offer!

-------------------------------------------------------

That was the worst decision you've ever made.

This guy literally made you change your paint job to match his. But it can't be the same because Sentinel Prime's color palette is his own palette and nobody can copy it.

Your paint job is probably like a pastel blue and yellow or something along the blue and yellow thing. You have to represent him in some way.

He endorsed you because he wants to show Iacon how a great leader like him can bring up great stars like you! You have to make him look good, perform well, sing well, and look good. Everything has to be perfect because if you make a flaw, you'll make him look bad and a failure of a manager.

He makes you perform at the Iacon 5000 to get his people pumping. Making you do the most over-the-top performances. You have to keep looking back at him for his approval. He is secretly sending you messages into your processor on what to do and if you need to be louder or something.

He doesn't let you have a social life and is very restrictive about what you're doing.

"That's one energon cube too many, you're going to be fat. I can't have a fat star, can I?"

The only time you'd be seen with random people is when you're being filmed doing charity or something good for the community.

Wow! Sentinel Prime endorsed such a kind bot! He has a great eye for good people!

Dating? Don't even think about it before asking him first. He would only let you "date" some popular bot. Maybe a top racer or another star. But you wouldn't be actually dating, it's just a way for Sentinel Prime to keep you relevant.

You have to be the top singer in all of Iacon. All other singers and stars, don't even think about trying to outdo you. If they somehow surpass you, oops! They accidentally ingested poison! I wonder how that happened... (That Beyonce theory reference lol)

Don't even think about getting sick and having to call off the show. You are doing that to show whether you're dying or not. He's gonna get the top doctor and patch you up right away. How unreliable you are for canceling a show thousands of bots wanted to see!

-------------------------------------------------------

You talk to Sentinel, telling him you don't wanna do this anymore and he stops in his tracks. He turns around and bends down to face you with a disappointed look.

"You don't want to do this anymore? After all this hard work and money I put into you, to make you become who you are now? Well...I guess it's such a shame...All those poor poor bots who look up to you and love you will be just so sad to see you leave your whole career and them behind..." He then stood up and guided you near the window that had a whole view of Iacon.

He then glances at you, "Such a shame, am I right?"

Take that as a no.

-------------------------------------------------------

One time you're practicing for a big performance. The stylist and stage decorators are doing their thing and you run through the show. Sentinel Prime walks in on it and watches it before interrupting.

"Woah Woah Woah Woah! What is this?? I did not ask for this. The decoration is ugly, and the paint job is sloppy, who the hell wrote this script?!"

A stage manager looked around and back at him, "You did sir." They said as they pointed and showed him the clipboard.

He snatched it out of their hand and threw it to the side, "How could I possibly write this? This isn't even my handwriting! You're fired."

(He wrote it. )

He then motioned for you to come over to him and he grabbed your face and showed you to the rest of the crew, "I can't have precious (y/n) looking all ugly and making a fool out of herself now can I?"

You glared at him, "I think it's fi-"

"shhh, I'm doing you a favor."

He rewrote everything, changed every single direction, and watched the whole rerun applauding.

"Now that's what I want!"

-------------------------------------------------------

Remember my headcanons

Feel free to request!

Not proofread

[notreallysorryxx]

#"Be A Millionaire"

Aventurine wants to put a baby in you.

Characters: aventurine (the peacock himself)

Warnings: vaginal sex, unprotected sex, breeding (so smut), use of the word "whore" (if that bugs you, why are you reading it 🤨), petname "pet", there's some hoes in this house LMAO

Notes: This was heavily inspired by "Baby By Me" by 50 Cent & Ne-Yo. I absolutely love breeding in smut so why not try writing my own. I'm not good at writing smut, but I tried!

Words: 1.5k

You couldn't deny that Aventurine was attractive. Although he might be a threat to you and the other Nameless, you couldn't resist his charm. He liked spoiling you, his 'pet'. Veritas thought the both of you were disgusting. He'd found out about your relationship after walking in to the two of you fucking in the hotel bathroom.

Aventurine often invited you to his hotel room, spoiling you there too. He'd give you anything you wanted, absolutely anything. Aventurine had invited you after dinner today. His gaze stayed on your stomach, noticing the slight bulge from the food you had eaten. Even though you were talking, he wasn't paying attention to what you were saying. His arm wrapped around your waist, palm pressed against your stomach.

"Aventurine? Are you listening to me?" you asked.

"Huh? Yeah, of course," he answered.

But you could clearly tell he wasn't. You were confused, following his gaze. What was he so fixated on?

"What's up?"

Aventurine smiles, rubbing his thumb against the skin of your stomach.

"It almost looks like your pregnant, doesn't it? Wouldn't be so bad if you were," he murmurs.

You don't respond, jaw dropped. The two of you hadn't ever talked about a baby, but you weren't opposed. You thought about it, a mini Aventurine sounded adorable. With his genes, any kid you'd have would look cute.

"Yeah? I didn't take you for someone like this-"

"Someone like what?" Aventurine laughs, "I saw a cute kid today in the hotel and then you show up, belly bulging from food... imagine how good you'd look if you were actually pregnant. You'd be glowing, gorgeous as always. Makes me wanna put a baby in you."

He smirks as he sees you go red, "Oh? You like the idea? Should I actually..."

He pulls you impossibly closer, hands groping at your ass. This is a habit of his, groping you. Aventurine knows you like how handsy he is.

"If we actually do this... I won't let you rest at all. Clear your schedule for tomorrow, hm? Come on, be a good little pet."

Your hands shake as you take out your phone to message the Astral Express group chat. The message you send is a jumble of words that can barely be discerned.

"Tsk, can't even spell write. Maybe you should call them."

You inhale sharply. Calling everyone at this hour? And when he's touching you like this? How would you keep your composure. Knowing Welt and Himeko, they'd pick up on this. And you know that Caelus wouldn't approve of your fraternising with the "enemy".

Aventurine waits as you decide. Eventually you give up and call your friends. "Ah, hello," Himeko answers sweetly. "We were wondering where you were."

You take a deep breath before requesting a break the next day. Himeko listens, allowing your request.

"But I do wonder why you'd request a break. Are you tired? Or is there another reason?"

"N-No, I'm just taking time for myself. Recuperating after the Luofu, you know?"

"Mhm, sure."

The doubt is clear in her response, but you brush it off. Aventurine raises his eyebrow, squeezing your thigh.

"Um, I should go... see you later, Himeko."

"Of course, goodnight."

Aventurine smiles, kissing your wrist as you set your phone down.

"Good pet. And you know what good pets get? They get treats. Sit on the counter, legs open. Rest them on my shoulder."

You do as he says, letting him kneel between your legs. He hooks a finger around the waistband of your underwear, pulling them off. They stick to you, wet from your arousal.

"Hm? Already so wet from the idea of me knocking you up, sweetheart? How lewd," he comments.

Before you can respond, he's flinging your undergarment in the other direction, licking a stripe up your core. You gasp. His mouth is so wet and it feels amazing on you. Aventurine smiles against your cunt, suckling on your clit. He teasingly nibbles.

He's too good at this, too good at using his tongue. In more ways than one.

He pulls back a bit, licking his lips, "I've barely even done anything and yet you're gushing on the counter. How cute."

Aventurine leans back in, tongue slipping inside of you. He hums and you can feel the vibration. Your moans only serve to encourage him, his tongue working faster. You beg him to stop. Not because you don't like it, but because you don't want to cum just yet. He doesn't listen for once. Your pleading spurring him on in a way.

"Don't be afraid... let go, my love. I want to taste you," he whispers as his face is still buried between your legs.

You barely hear him, legs tightening around his head. He grunts as you practically smother him with your thighs. But he doesn't mind and you can tell by the way his cock is straning his slacks.

"Please, Venturi-" you whine.

You're cut off by your orgasm, hands gripping his hair tightly. He groans, tasting you on his tongue. Aventurine laps every last drop of your cum up, wiping anything he got on his face with his finger before licking that up too.

"You taste sweet, as always," he coos, inserting his finger now.

You whimper from the overstimulation, squirming.

Aventurine clicks his tongue, "Don't make me tie you down, darling." By the way you clench around his fingers, he can tell you lick the idea.

"Dirty little thing, you are."

He stretches you open, but the both of you know that won't be enough.

"I'm sorry, my sweet. But I just can't wait anymore. It'll sting a bit, okay?" he whispers, nibbling on your earlobe. You nod, not minding if it does sting.

A little bit of pain is nothing if it gets you pleasure later.

"Good pet."

You watch as Aventurine slides his slacks off. The front of his boxers is a mess, fabric incredibly wet. You realise he must have came in his boxers earlier. His cock is reasonably sized, a bit bigger than average but nothing extraordinary. And yet he could no doubt break you with just his cock.

"I don't think the counter would be the best place for this. Especially if we're doing this all night. On the bed, all fours, and ass in the air."

You comply, stripping yourself completely while you're at it. He absolutely loves this position. Loves being able to push your head down in the pillows, loves being able to grope you from behind, loves leaving marks on the nape of your neck and whispering in your ear.

He positions himself behind you before entering you. You hiss at the feeling of him pushing in, stinging just as he had said earlier. But you relish the feeling. It's not so much painful, just unexpected. He can feel your walls clamp around him as your body struggles to fit him since he didn't stretch you enough.

"Shit! You're so tight, wish I had stretched you out more. But it feels amazing, sweetheart. The way you clench around my dick. You love it so much, don't you?" he teases, "I know you do."

He makes a point by thrusting into you. You groan, grabbing the sheets beneath you so you don't collapse.

"Was that painful?"

"No, keep going..."

He listens to you, setting a steady pace. But not before you adjust to his size. It feels amazing, euphoric, as he slides in and out of you.

"You can go faster," you mumble.At first, you don't think he hears you as he pulls out. You're proven wrong as he slams back into you. While the pace before had been steady and rather slow, now he's pounding into you, destroying your insides.

"My pet," he croons, sounding out of breath. "This is what you wanted, hm? For me to treat you like my personal toy... What would the others on the Astral Express think? Seeing you with someone they dislike? What are you going to tell them when you wind up pregnant? That it was an accident? Or will you tell the truth?

"You moan, "T-Tell them the truth..."

"Yeah? That you've been whoring yourself out to me?"He slaps your ass without warning and you can practically hear the grin in his voice."You're fucking adorable... imagine our child. I bet they'll have your eyes," he murmurs softly.

It's strange, endearing almost, that this man who's fucking you so roughly is speaking so softly about what your future kids will look like. You almost laugh at the image, but you can't in your current state. Aventurine reaches for your clit, rubbing it in a circle and pinching it between his fingers.

"I can feel that you're close. Cum for me, darling."

And you do, faceplanting into the pillow and collapsing on the mattress.

Aventurine follows after you, chest against your back. He pants in your ear. You feel him shoot his load into you, his seed warm. It's something you're not used to since he usually pulls out.

"That was amazing, you're wonderful. You'll make a beautiful mother, my dear," he whispers. "Ah, but don't think we're done."

He chuckles as you grunt into the pillow.