#like he’s so unstable even though he tries so hard to be functional

[heartofarcanum]

I’m trying so hard to articulate how entranced i am by his more volatile behavior. Like something something a mask of calm he tries so hard to keep in place over a sea of roiling volatile emotions that are so close to the surface and that always manage to break free despite his desperate attempts at control because at the end of the day he’s still just an incredibly emotional boy obsessed with love and respect and constantly denied them no matter what he does something something

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

Destinytober24: Day 26 - Divine

Link to Ao3 if you prefer to read it there

Dust and rocks crunched under the Drifter's boots as he approached Eris Morn at her station on the Moon.

Eris's lip quirked up into a smile when she heard the sound. He was making noise as he walked on purpose to let her know he was there. She knew his gait instantly.

"Drifter." She addressed him, wondering if he had waited until the last Guardian had transmatted away and, if so, how long he had been waiting. It could not have been long or she would have smelled him.

"Hey, Three-Eyes! Came as soon as I could. What’s this mysterious thing you need me to see?"

Eris stepped toward him and clasped his hand in hers warmly.

"It is in a cave in the Anchor of Light. There will be Fallen on the way. May we take your Sparrow?"

"Yeah we can do that. We’ll have to snuggle, though. And it may be a bit more bumpy than you're used to."

"I am accustomed to walking."

"Right, well, this will definitely be faster than that. Wanna ride shotgun or drive?"

"I would prefer to drive."

"Ha. You say that now, but you might regret that."

. . .

A few moments later Eris was frowning as the Drifter climbed in behind her. It was a tight fit but that was not the source of her displeasure. The Sparrow engine made a grinding noise as she tried to turn the ignition. The vehicle lurched to the side but did not move forward.

"How is this even remotely tolerable to you?"

"Well, up until now I’ve been the only one that’s had to deal with it, and I’m used to it."

"It doesn’t even start."

"It starts, you just have to jiggle it a bit, give me your hand."

He put his chin as close to her shoulder as he could without pressing it into the Hive chitin on her pauldrons and reached around her, wrapping his gloved hand around her own.

"Like this." He jiggled and then twisted the switch hard. The engine begrudgingly kicked in and began to rumble in an unstable fashion.

"It sounds as though it is about to fall apart."

"I mean, you’re not wrong. We could walk."

"No. You will shoot and I will drive."

"You got it."

She pushed the accelerator and felt the vehicle churn as it responded, only to have to course correct to avoid driving them into a rock wall.

"Why does it pull to the left?"

"Ah yeah, that." He said in her ear as they picked up speed. "I’ve been meaning to fix that but I never got around to it. I’ve just gotten used to compensating for it."

"I’ve seen you build functional machines out of garbage. You have the competency. Why have you not fixed this?

"There’s this old saying, the cobbler's children have no shoes."

"People who make footwear abuse their children?"

"Nah, it’s just you do something all day every day and then you neglect that thing for yourself. You do it too. Like a lot."

"I doubt that."

"Yeah? How much rest and self care do you do when I’m not around, unofficial therapist of the Vanguard?"

"Hmmm… Two on your left.'

"On it."

The Drifter shifted behind her and his scout rifle began to fire.

. . .

"Well this sure is a spooky cave."

"You should see the Hellmouth sometime." Eris' glowing orb hovered above her hand as the Drifter followed.

"I’ll pass. Wha-"

Eris caught him as he began to slide down a rough incline. Gravel and dust continued past where his boots had stopped. They slid into a dark pit.

"Tread carefully."

"I am treading carefully. I just can't see in the dark like you."

"Take my hand. I will guide you."

The path was winding and steep but Eris' grip was firm and he did not slip again.

After a few minutes the cave opened up into a larger chamber.

"Here. This is what I needed you to see." She held her Ahamkara bone up high. Its light was largely swallowed by the surrounding darkness.

"You may wish to add some flame to the Soulfire," she added.

The Drifter snapped his fingers and a flaming coin appeared between them. He held it in front of him.

"Moondust… am I seein' what I think I’m seein?"

"I believe so."

"Is this some kind of joke?" he asked as he walked forward. "Someone pulling a prank on you?"

"Unlikely."

A large sigil was scratched into the floor. A four-lobed flower. Eris’ symbol, the Bane of the Swarm, the same one she had on all her charms and wore on her chestplate. It was several feet in diameter. The scratches were uneven and deep, as though they had been made by claws.

The Drifter walked across it to what could only be a stone altar at one end of the cavern. He held the flame in his hand up to the knee-high figure in the middle of the altar presiding over the room.

It was a rough-hewn effigy of a human figure made of stone. Crude armour made of rotting Hive chitin had been affixed to it with distinctive pointed pauldrons at the shoulders. In one hand it held a sword carved from bone with a very distinctive knife-point perpendicular to the blade affixed to the tip of it. A spherical green stone was in the other hand. In the figure's face were three finger-width holes containing small green stones.

"Huh. How’d you even find it?"

"I was led here."

"Led? By what?"

"A Thrall."

"Come again?" He looked back at her.

"It groveled to me and did not attack."

"What happened to it after you got here?"

"It left. Still groveling. Backwards out the way we came."

"You didn’t think they were trapping you in here?"

"It would not have ended well for them if they had."

"Huh. So they are worshiping you now?"

"I do not know. It is a shrine, but… Hive worship is usually some form of death: theirs or someone else’s."

"I mean, you were a god to them."

"I was."

"Have you showed this to anyone else?"

"I wanted your thoughts first."

"I mean, it’s certainly new behaviour that’s for sure. Do you think you can… control them?"

"The lesser Hive are easily controlled magically for short periods of time. They will cower to anyone with sufficient power."

"But for more than that? If they worship you, do you think they'd like… do what you want, long-term?"

"Doubtful. I have no way to receive their tithes. Their own worms would devour them."

"Wild. Has it changed since you were last here?"

"Hmmm… perhaps there is more detail? I cannot tell for certain."

"I wonder what would happen if you… leave them something here."

"I don’t know what I would leave, or why."

"Well, they wanted you to see it. Maybe something to… I don’t know… acknowledge them?"

"And what might accomplish that?"

"I mean, I’m just grasping at straws here but… nah that’s a terrible idea never mind."

"Speak."

"That’s a statue of you, right?"

"Mmhmm"

"It’s just, Hive are really into bodily fluids for some reason… usually pullin’ them outta other people, mind you… but… maybe smear some of your eye goo on the statue’s eyes maybe? Sorta like… peeing on it, without actually, you know, peeing on it? Claiming it in a way?"

"Crude, but… there is internal consistency in your logic… and it works within the principles of contagion magic. Very well."

Eris pulled her hand out from under her Ahamkara bone. It remained hovering beside her. She removed the gauntlet from her left hand and reached up to her cheek, sliding the tips of index, middle, and ring fingers through the paracausal tears flowing from below the bandage she wore around her eyes. Then she stepped forward and placed those fingers into the three eye-holes of the statue, drawing them down to leave dark streaks on the stone.

Hissing echoed through the tunnels.

"Uh." The Drifter held up his flaming coin, looking around nervously.

Louder hissing seemed to answer the call of the first.

Eris tugged her gauntlet back on and summoned her orb to her hand. "We should leave."

"Yeah."

"Stay close." She drew her sword.

"Don’t have to tell me twice, Sister." He moved behind her, his coin in one hand, his hand cannon in the other.

"Of all the things to call me." Eris began leading him back the way they had come.

"Fine, Lover."

"Hmmm…"

"Hmmm yourself," he said near her ear as the hissing seemed to swirl around them. "You’re smiling. I can hear it in your hmmm."

"Hmmm…"

They heard the sounds of claws scrabbling along stone in the distance.

"Faster," Eris said and began to move more quickly.

The Drifter matched her pace. "Can you make a portal to get us out quicker?"

"If necessary, although it would also make plain our position."

They heard more hissing coming from behind them. It was louder.

"Oh I think they already know we’re here."

"But which ones, I wonder."

"Let’s not stick around to find out."

"Agreed."

A dead Eliksni lay beside the Drifter’s sparrow when they emerged from the mouth of the cave. Its entrails had been ripped out. Its limbs were splayed in an unnatural configuration.

A wrench was still clasped tightly in one three-fingered hand. It held a wire rifle in another. The ammunition cartridge had been spent. A Marauder cloaking device had been pulled off of its belt and smashed. Bits of its other two hands were still embedded in the sparrow itself.

"Uh… " The Drifter looked down on the dead body with confusion.

"They protected your sparrow ."

"That's unfortunate," he said dryly. "It wasn't worth dying for. "

"I'm sorry. If it's any consolation we probably would have had to defend ourselves from it on our way out."

"Maybe. Still sucks."

"Yes."

The Drifter crouched down and pulled the dismembered fingers out of the vehicle. He dropped them into the hole in the middle of the corpse.

"Looks um… displayed," he said, Trust dangling from his fingers as he examined the body.

"An attempt at communication."

"Ghost!" The Drifter's ghost appeared at his shoulder. "Scan that." The ghost began to do as he asked.

"Maybe we can get them to communicate less violently?"

"Doubtful," Eris answered him. "This is the Hive."

The Drifter's eyes flickered to the empty tunnel mouth and then returned to the corpse.

"House of Devils." He muttered looking at what was left of its clothing. "That's weird. You ever seen House of Devils on the Moon?"

The Drifter's ghost emitted its single tone to announce it had completed its scan and disappeared.

"I am not certain. I do not believe so. I thought the House of Devils operated primarily on Earth"

"So did I. Never seen 'em on the Moon but you hang out here more than I do."

Hissing and scratching echoed up through the tunnel mouth. It sounded very close.

Eris mounted the sparrow and after a couple of tries, got it running.

"Are you coming?" she asked him.

The Drifter nodded. He paused to fold the dead Eliksni's four arms over its chest cavity and covered its head with what was left of the tattered cape bearing the sigil of its house.

"Best I can do." He told the corpse before standing and climbing on the back of the sparrow behind Eris. "Let's go."

The Sparrow made a grinding sound and lurched. Eris growled at the controls. The engine coughed and sputtered.

The Drifter reached down and picked up the wrench from the dead Eliksni. He gave the sparrow a sharp smack with it just in front of Eris' left knee.

The Sparrow's engine roared to life. Eris sighed and began driving them back across the lunar surface to Sanctuary.

Link to the entire month's worth of prompts on Ao3, posted daily.

[woomycritiques543]

Okay, following up in my heated ask about Viv where I stated her ableism... (And other things about her too but mainly the ableist part) I do apologize for being so heated but as an autistic it hit me hard in a way seeing a joke being played for laughs the way it did

critic-cal-zonez post is an example of what I meant yesterday in my ask where they stated Viv made a very tasteless joke about (blitzo almost calling a neurodivergent character r*tarded) (only to acknowledge Viv can't say the r word because it's used as a slur towards neurodivergent people). Meanwhile in the pilot episode of helluva boss Vivs writing team use the r word freely and even after fans called it out they never apologized for it. You'll find this *joke* in the newest episode "Western Energy" where blitzo waited 5 years to take loona to the vet for a shot. At 3:27 (start of joke) to 4:22 (end of joke) is what I referred to. That being the joke made in the episode about neurodivergent and lower functioning autistic people. Basically playing off the joke like being neurodivergent and autistic automatically means I'm r*traded and stupid and deserve to be treated like crap because of it hope that explains it all :D

Ah, that is very concerning.

They used the r word towards a character who had a “slow” though process, while another character who’s definitely autistic gets called “smooth head, slow-” for not catching up immediately on what Blitz was saying, and he’s also a hyperfixator, both of which are autistic traits. -and even “reta^^^” in the pilot and then this episode now referenced when it depicted the r word as “offensive and quirky!”, shooting itself in the foot since that means that the show showing a slur as “quirky!” is not just something horrible that the writers did-

But it’s now canon in Helluva Boss…

-and people defended this as “But it’s a demon in-“ but that doesn’t fucking matter if it’s depicted/animated as “cute and quirky!” In the scene instead of as a problem especially since we now know that Vivziepop is 100% an ableist person.

These are the same people who have insulted people by calling them “mentally unstable” or a “psycho!” and constantly use the show as a way to mock something people have in real life- aka MENTAL DISORDERS!

Moxxie is called slow and “retar^ded!” and is constantly insulted whenever he has a hard time understanding why Blitz is insulting him, which isnt just gaslighting, but ableism that the show 100% romanticizes to the point of having Millie, his “defensive” wife excuse what Blitz does or just not exist at all every time this happens. It’s 100% ableism on the writer’s part, and the fact that people tried to use the fact that it’s a depiction of ableism to gaslight people into not seeing the way the ableism is being depicted is absolutely disgusting.

Anyone who actually supports the disabled doesn’t write ableism this way, anyone who actually supports us doesn’t defend it either. 

It’s also super weird that the only characters in the show that get ableist insults are ones with neurodivergent traits. Also, Vivziepop is ableist in real life so… that explains a lot.💀

[iwasmadetobeasoldier]

Asset

((Just a small fic I tossed together))

You've always wondered where your uncle went when he went away for his 'holidays'. You knew as much as he, that he went somewhere very few people knew of. And no one should know of it. You asked him one day, he didn't answer directly.

"One day you'll get to see." He laughed distantly, ruffling your thin hair.

"But when?" You always asked yourself when you were alone. When were you allowed to see whatever secret he was hiding? What could he possibly be doing? He had explained that his job was essential to mankind, that without his organization, the world would be utter chaos. And you believed him.

One day you heard him talking about something fascinating.

"And the Asset. Its time to use him again."

The Asset? That sounded like a weapon except for the fact he used the word 'he'. It, whatever it was, could it be human??

It wasn't til year later when you turned 21 that he came to you with a red book, a black star on the center of the leather cover. It was kinda thick, like a journal.

"Its time you knew about the Project."

"Sir?" You gave him a quizzical look, also eyeing the book.

"I'm talking about something that I and your father have been involved in for many years. Do you know the word H.Y.D.R.A.?"

"It was an organization in the Second World War. If the American's had not destroyed the soldier serum, H.Y.D.R.A would most likely still be in function." You recited from years of grooming. Your uncle had always been sure of your loyalty.

"Not 'most', young man. 'Will'."

"Will, sir?"

"Read the first page." He handed the book to you, the sudden action brought a sense of power to you. You were being handed something that could have taken over the world at one time. And most likely would soon.

You opened the leather cover, it was written in Russian, one of your second languages. It wasn't hard to translate, simply unbelievable.

"How-" You kept reading, the Asset, Project Insight, it was all there. You finally had been granted the knowledge of what your uncle had been doing all these years. "So it has been him that's been responsible for these assassinations." You look up at him, an expression of pride hidden under his face.

"Yes, we tell him to. And he does it."

"But- doesn't holding someone against their will seem a little immoral?"

Pierce stared at you for a long moment, studying your eyes. 

"Come with me. I will show you this Asset and you will change your mind."

The underground bunker of H.Y.D.R.A. You were finally there. All these years and your dream had come true. Armed guards stood at every hallway, not that they would do much if what you've heard rumors of was true. The Winter Soldier was formidable in combat. 

"Sir-" A man tried to stop your uncle from entering a locked room, a cage for a door. Behind it you could see scientists and machinery pressed up against the wall. "He's unstable-"

Your uncle, unmoved as always, stormed past the man, the door shutting behind you. 

In the center of the room, sitting on the largest machine in the room, was a muscular man, his long dark locks hanging over his face. His position one of aggression. 

Pierce waved down the guards pointing their weapons at the Soldier.

"He looks like a large dog about to fight." The thought crossed your mind as you noticed a scientist on the floor, clearly this man had done something 'unstable' as the other put it. But what stood out to you the most, what his left arm. It was entirely made of metal, fading the flesh around the collarbone. His eyes were glazed over,  even though you had never seen The Winter Soldier, you knew something was off.

"Mission Report." Your uncle demanded, standing near but not too close to the Soldier.

He didn't respond. 

"Mission Report." Pierce repeated. "Now!"

The Soldier just stared.

Finally you heard him grunt as Pierce struck him across the face, a unfeeling expression on your uncle.

"The..the man on the bride," He finally spoke, his voice recalling something. "Who was he?"

It might have been your imagination, but you swore you saw Pierce glance to another guard, this one more relaxed than the other guards.

"You met him a few days ago on assignment." Pierce explained.

"I knew him." The Soldier stated, firm yet still questionable.

You looked at your uncle. 

"He shouldn't remember.." You mumbled, risking a glance at the Soldier, his eyes determined. Only your uncle knew the past of the Soldier, but with the understanding of the book, you recalled he shouldn't remember his past or his targets.

"Prep him," Pierce ordered, standing up from the chair he was sitting on. "And wipe him again." He stood up to leave, letting you stay behind.

You watched from a distance as a scientist placed a mouth guard between the Soldier's teeth, his strangely perfectly white teeth. 

"Must have been the serum." You assumed, the super soldier serum made any human into the perfect specimen. 

You noticed his breathing became harsher, his chest rising faster as the machine grasped his arms in locks, a device coming around his head, the sound of electricity was drowned out by the screams the Soldier released, clearly pained through the procedure.

Eleven words resonated in your mind. Eleven very crucial words.

Longing.

Rusted.

Seventeen.

Daybreak.

Furnace.

Nine.

Benign.

Homecoming.

One.

Freight Car.

Soldat?

[possessed-pack]

As a fictive of a temporary fusion of two characters, my identity is a little bit more complicated than most others in my system. This post will be me explaining my identity as a possessed Hunter fictive in a little more depth than I've done in the past.

Warnings: Spoilers for The Owl House up until and including season 3 episode 1, very brief mentions of abuse, very brief mentions of death.

In my memories, everything was canon compliant for the most part, up until a certain point. For needed context for those unfamiliar with the source, Belos is the main villain of the series and he had made Hunter as essentially a clone of his dead brother. Hunter was raised on the Boiling Isles--an alternate dimension to the human realm--by Belos as his "nephew". Hunter was mistreated and lied to about his origins, but he managed to get out and made friends with Luz and the rest of her group.

Eventually, the main group ended up stuck in the human realm, along with Belos, who then possessed Hunter and tried to hurt his friends. In my memories, we died in the fight immediately following the possession, and we ended up here in our system, still fused together--except it's not just Belos in control anymore, it's a weird amalgamation of both of us.

We're not a subsystem, because we're not separate at all, though in the beginning it was much closer to something along those lines. We'd only have one stream of thought at a time, but it'd be both of us thinking at the same time, though it didn't blend seamlessly together into a new person. Considering both of our different views on... Pretty much anything, I'd be arguing with my own thoughts in my brain a lot of the time and trying to figure out what I actually wanted. Responding to what people asked me took time, and it was overall unpleasant.

It was hard, especially because I couldn't separate into my two parts. I didn't know how and it just made things worse because it felt like my brain was constantly tearing itself apart, but nothing I could ever do would actually separate us. It hurt a lot, knowing that I was my own abuser and my own victim at the same time. And knowing that some people were going to be scared of me regardless of me still being part Hunter, because I was also the villain of the series and I did do terrible things also hurt a lot. I felt my existence itself was a contradiction and I was fighting with myself every waking moment to properly function.

Recently though, I've discovered that as time went on, I've become more separate from Hunter and Belos. I'm not either of them anymore, I'm Mal. I'm a new person, my own person separate from them, regardless of the fact that they made me who I am. I don't argue with myself, I have a new name, I didn't do all the horrible things that Belos did even though he's a part of me, I'm less stressed overall and I have separate interests to the both of them, even if some of those interests do overlap. Over time, things became much easier for me. It felt more like we were three people rather than two people stuck together, and it felt so much better to actually function that way.

We've been able to separate since. It happened during a particularly stressful period of time, but we separated, and my components changed their names to be Horizon (Hunter) and Bait (Belos). They were unstable being separate at first, finding it hard to exist as their own people after so long. In the beginning they were both scared of each other as well. Horizon was worried that Bait would want nothing to do with him anymore and that I would stop existing forever and my partners would be upset with him, and Bait was worried the same way. They did speak though, and they'd even consider each other friends now, despite their history.

Now we fuse and unfuse whenever we'd like, and all parts of who I am are stable. When they combine to make me, I still don't argue in my own thoughts, and when they separate, they're able to be their own people. I still feel as if people who know my source and are from it see my icon on Discord and avoid me, and as much as that does hurt, I know that I'm not my source and none of us--not even Bait--have done anything bad here.

Overall, we've really improved as a whole, despite our struggles. Our identity is still very complicated, but it at least isn't causing us any harm anymore.

[peepee-magee]

We all write the dca as loving but Ruin DLC has me knowing for a fact if any of us were to wonder into the daycare Sun would side eye us so hard it’d crush half our souls n then he’d pick up the second half, call it a smelly adult, and then drop kick us off the premises

Man could barely keep it together talking to a child, something he’s programmed for, you think he’d happily handle me? A child sized adult? No he’d let moon kill me on sight. Even if he wasn’t distressed he’d buzz around like a wasp till we were forced to leave the premises.

I do think Eclipse would be nicer about it though. Maybe talk for a few minutes to figure out why we’re there, then help accomplish it so we can leave as quickly as possible, or if unable to help would shoo us away by telling us help is on the opposite end of the plex

Oddly enough I think Moon would be the sanest of all three of them minus the virus. I get the distinct impression he’d linger menacingly in the shadows while you wondered around but would be the first to help if you asked. Like a coyote who follows you around on your walks but is so use to ppl feeding them that they’d sooner attack another coyote that got to close than they’d ever attack you.

It’s a shame he was given access to the entire ai network the way he was. If he’d stayed a worker n not been upgraded to security he’d probably be his normal self or at least wouldn’t be as infected as he is. Tho it makes me wonder if it was ever even a virus or if it was just the mimic stealing bits of their code until it went to far cuz there’s no logical reason for the mimic or Vanessa to purposely make them aggressive if the goal was to help the mimic build itself. The Pizzaplex running normally was the perfect training ground for a learning mimic n the Glamrocks would’ve helped her catch Gregory regardless of tampering due to security protocol.

However if the mimic needed to learn certain things to make it function believable as a person but were hard to find consistency in via mirroring (food enthusiasm via Chica, confidence via Roxy, genuine emotion via Monty) it’d be easiest to take it from other models that have already successfully presented results. Taking the bits that work for it n leaving the rest. Thus forcing the living code in the animatronics to adapt the best it can until it’s stable again n making it extremely unstable in the mean time until it does

I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s really how Bonnie went. A minor injury (maybe accidental, hit himself in the leg with a ball while bowling) turned to full dismemberment in the early days when the mimic was still trying to get access to the main system n tried to use a damaged Bonnie as an easy access point since he was already wired in. It would explain the scene we see on the log ride. Monty really was innocent but the extent of the damage was so severe it was hard to imagine anyone other than Monty capable. Which upset Monty, making him easier to mimic n steal code from n so on.

Anyway those are my rambling thoughts srry for misspellings I’m tired

[nobalg]

Rant of a Frog

Bruh, Yo Java Guys, why you faking it bruh.

Why you trying to be someone else and failing so hard on it.

May be change is the only way we can be better than yesterday

But your base was so so rigid bruh, its making things difficult for the older community and the newer community is unable to connect with their Grand uncles bruh.

Its obviously clear that at last you accepted the fact that JavaScript's functional way and callbacks were legit from the start. You trying so hard to make Java geeks believe that reactivity is something which will change the world, but I want you to intimate your audience that node js was doing it from so long, concepts like event loop were lying around there from so long. Its just that you were may be late to the party, or have to follow the trend to make the developer's stick to you. May be you want to attract Js developers with your functional styles and lambdas introduction, but this seduction is far from what you planned for.

You only can boost the utilization of multithreaded programs, and utilizing the multicores of a system. But let me tell you this, they will eat you up in this aspect as well.

Why the default was introduced man, in interfaces? Why you had to break your own principles?

Introduce a new concept bruh, but don't alter the story mate, why create such a story, you have created holes in your happy story, while trying to replicate what JS (even though single threaded and have a reputation of having browser language only) have done from long ago.

Functional Programming , ehh, what's wrong with your OOPS man, you used to boost of. Han?

Even though if somebody tries to start from fresh on this path, other then Josh long or Venkat, no legit resources, no community, no answers on Stack overflow for legit questions. Just Blackbox.

So you want to make some threads free ehh, thats why reactivity, ehh,

onErrorContinue ehh, you yourself say the biggest anomaly ehh.

Please comeback when you are consolidated bruh, We devs dont know how to estimate around you with such open things, We don't know how to handle Exceptions efficiently, Venkat said, if you can't handle or sometimes feels like imperative is better , Go for it.

He said if you want only happy path, then functional will be good.

But ehh, you know right, nothing is happy about programming, there are exceptions , errors , which are meant to be handled.

Bruh, either grow exponentially, or die, as We devs are not able to justify, why you are actually good, but what it will cost to get married with you and your unstability may be.

Angry

[twig-tea]

A few things really stuck with me after the latest episode of Step By Step:

Jeng hearing Pat wants to quit [again], and equating that to breaking up...and Pat agreeing that's what it means.

Jeng claiming to have never made a mistake, and promising to continue to be the perfect heir, but also immediately afterwards begging Pat to stay with him, all while NOT talking about what that means for how their relationship can function.

Jeng solving his problems with money, without discussing the solution with Pat, and never once acknowledging that Jeng is rich and has fallbacks that Pat does not.

Jeng grabbing Pat in his father's office, after barging in (his father's secretary trying to keep him out), not letting Pat walk away to avoid a scene in front of his father i.e. the company president until Pat insists.

As a character choice, this all makes sense. How much do you think it was driving Jeng out of his mind that he not only put Pat in this situation (the bar was his place and his idea) but had to rely on Put to get them out of it? And Jeng has been treating his father as an annoyance that he can manipulate, convince, or otherwise control throughout the series, even though he's not actually that effective at it and falls into his father's own manipulations more than he realizes. And, Jeng has consistently insisted that Pat only make decisions after consulting him while not consulting Pat before making decisions himself, including decisions that involve Pat (like setting him up to take over the department).

From what I can see, Jeng does not think of Pat as his equal, he sees Pat as an extension of himself. He sees it as his responsibility to make things work out for Pat rather than trusting Pat to be successful on his own. He expects his own decisions to be ok with Pat but does not like Pat making his own choices. And he does not see how the effects of this situation are different for Pat than they are for him. I was hoping they would be able to work through that issue without breaking up, but with the time left in the series, a breakup and time apart is the only way it could happen.

With one episode left, I'm honestly thinking a slightly open ending is the best we're going to get for this series (as in, they agree to see one another again and fade to black).

[Also just to say, Jeng is a sweetheart who has been trying so hard for so long to be perfect, and he can't reconcile critical parts of himself with the expectations of his father, so he tries desperately to control everything he can in order to feel stable in an inherently unstable position (heir with a fatal flaw). He seems to think if he can just last long enough, the company will eventually come around and let him do what he wants (with both his digital marketing department and his life--I suspect he's wrong about both). He's also older than Pat and they have been working together as mentor/mentee for months at least. I sympathize with him a lot, and can understand why have trouble separating Pat from his own self-image. His relationship with Pat is the ultimate work-life integration.]

[bonaesperanza]

All of this.

And also, Succession for me is one of the rare shows where the psychological and sociological messaging intertwine and inform each other seamlessly.

People often act like it's either a show fundamentally about the evils of capitalism and the complex characterizations are there to add flavour (no they're not, if that were the case the writers wouldn't put that much effort into the trauma parts and y ou'd get something like Glass Onion or Don't Look Up), or a show about abuse and trauma that just happens to be set in the context of the 0,1% to make it more exciting.

I think it's a show about how societal systems breed trauma and vice-versa, because the capitalism as it's portrayed in the show has the same logic and mechanisms as an abusive family. Logan is successful BECAUSE he's a bastard, and he became a bastard so he could become successful in a ruthless world where everything is a "fight for a knife in the mud". And he raised his children to be bastards as well, and he did it by applying the ruthless hypercompetitive hyperpunitive capitalist logic to their upbringing, leaving them as the perfect embodiment of everything we criticize in modern society, from the myopia of privilege, to the internalization of toxic zero-sum narratives, to the commodification of relationships, to people playing to "win" and not to provide or find any kind of purpose in what they're doing.

Whenever anyone tries to apply any other kind of strategy, their environment ruthlessly yanks them back down and punishes them for it, so it's all kind of self-propagating: they're all desperate to escape but they're all also pulling each other back in like crabs in a barrel. At its core it's a tragedy of the commons/prison dilemma kind of narrative, and this is how capitalism functions: people trying for kinder practices are eviscerated by the likes of Jeff Bezos because it's the system that's broken. I rarely see works of art that portray this phenomenon with such perfect precision.

And it's successful precisely BECAUSE it makes you empathize with the characters, to the point that you feel it on a visceral level when they're humiliated or "lose" something they want. You need to become intimate with them to realize that, just like with most of us, their identities are built entirely on the social norms of their environment. Even though to us their problems seem ridiculous, they are filtering the world through their own broken lived experience and for them "losing" feels as visceral and annihilating as it does to anyone else, despite them realistically still being better off that 99% of people. That's kind of how human beings function: we're hypersensitive to loss, and humiliation, and others antagonizing us, and it's difficult to see the wider picture under those circumstances because your lizard brain is constantly working overtime. And again, this is what capitalism does: by pitting us against each other, by making everything a competition, by creating artificial scarcity, by teaching us to base our identities on being "winners", it keeps us in a constant state of fight-or-flight and unable to focus on wider issues or other people or anything that doesn't personally concern us. And creating a kind of narrative where you can't help but empathize with the characters and cheer for them and hope that something good will happen to them to offset their existential emptiness gets YOUR lizard brain going so you can see how easy it is to fall into this kind of mindset.

And this entire system creates insecure, unstable bastards who then see everything through this kind of mercenary lens and have a hard time connecting to their fellow humans. And then go on to be shitty spouses, parents, siblings. Because that's who you need to become to thrive in this kind of system. The system rewards it. Circle closed.

And it has to be about rich yet broken people because it needs to show you that it's the system that's the problem, it eats its young even at the top of the pyramid. You can't change it simply by putting "better people" at the top of the broken pyramid of pain, the pyramid of pain makes EVERYONE selfish and broken.

“the ruling class is never touched by the grief and pain and suffering of the working classes they rule over”  IS the point of succession. ‘it’s not saying anything new’ is a silly and vague and kind of baffling criticism -- not even getting into ‘is art supposed to say anything new?’ i’d counter that succession shows us the above thesis in new, creative ways that are meant to make one deeply uncomfortable. you are meant to hate and sympathize with the roys. the show pivots on the axis of their humanity, wretched as it is. hurt people hurt people (multibillion dollar bass boosted edition). it’s all very basic at it’s core. and like. art is meant to be experienced and an experience doesn’t have to be comforting. and even then the show does a great job of never letting you forget about all the working class people needed to make the roy’s lives as gilded as they are through visual storytelling – if they never get close to the roys or are able to fuck them over in some pivotal good guys are able to meaningfully impact the ruling class moment, well. that’s the point. succession is an illustrative narrative, really, not a transformative one 

[the-hydroxian-artblog]

What happens if a human being tried to pick up a Mobian ring, do they just physically interact with the big golden donut or does it also disappear into sparkles and give them extra health?

Sort of answered in the past: basically humans just get less protection than the critter-people do, but they DO work decently. Rings function in-universe the same way they do in the games.

Anonymous asked: You've managed to make a lot of sonic characters interact that normally wouldn't. A lot of them are friends. But are there any pairings in the Hanging Au that simply aren't friends? Like not hate, but simply just, maybe they have no reason to talk to each other.

Personally, I think Blaze and Knuckles would have problems holding a conversation without outside intervention despite having zero beef.

There's not exactly much I can answer about that, anon. If two characters likely don't talk or interact much... it wouldn't.. really be covered or acknowledged in a slice of life story. I mentioned most of everyone is on friendly-terms, but it's not like I have great, elaborate interactions with everyone planned. Hope that doesn’t sound dismissive, I just can’t really meaningfully answer this question besides, “yeah, I’d imagine”

Anonymous asked: Who would win in a race, Mike or The Blue Shell?

Ignoring go-karts, Mike, though The Blue Shell wouldn’t be a slouch. With go-karts, The Blue Shell, much to Mike’s anger.

Anonymous asked: I will say, I can very clearly see Mike just flipping Starline into the pavement in the exact same way Robotnik did in the PRIME TIMELINE. With probably even less of a damn given.

He would. With how Mike refers to Sonic as “rodent”, you can tell he inherited a LOT of mannerisms from the doctor.

Anonymous asked: Hi! I’ve been admiring your blog from afar for quite some time so I just wanted to ask a few questions(Its gonna be dumb ones)

1. In the hanging out comic, did you have to go through some ideas, or had a lot of time to think about how Amy’s tarot cards powers work or something? Did you think about how a tarot card could be used as a ping pong paddle? Or was it just a, “Oh this sounds cool, why not have a pink hedgehog use a tarot card for a ping pong paddle.”

2. Who’s the worst sonic character in the entire franchise and why do you despise there existence. Or a character you just find overrated,

3. I LOVE METAL AND AMYS FRIENDSHIP MY GOD YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THERE DYNAMIC FUELS ME WITH SO MUCH SEROTONIN. I love two unstable friends who can understand and learn to grow as a.. anthropomorphic animal/robot(I hope you don’t mind metamy shippers on ur platform) And the blazamy art you post are amazing, so are you, <3

4. Finally, what’s your favorite apple type? Met galas, Granny Smith, Red apple, ect :]

1. Kinda the latter, sorta worked out the actual mechanics as the updates came. I knew the basic idea of “each card has an effect of some kind”, but beyond that the nuances were kinda Whatever until I really understood it later.

2. I can’t bring myself to hate Sonic characters.

3. I don’t mind at all! I don’t take a hard stance on shipping actually, most explicitly romantic content is commissioned by other people. I find meaningful relationships of all kinds to be equally important, so I think regardless my approach will work for most people.

4. Granny Smith, all the way, as long as the skin isn’t rubbery/uncomfortable to bite into. Eugh.

[finnicus-gayicus]

Eddie fix-it fic I'm working on because I can't cope with him being dead. (PT 1)

Some things in life are simple, easy. The year was 1986, late August. It had been about five months since the fight with Vecna/Henry/One. Max was still comatose, and according to the doctors, essentially braindead. Eleven had tried everything to get her back, but she couldn't find her. It was as if her mind had been erased. Lucas kept visiting her nearly every day, insisting that one day she'd wake up and he wanted to be there for her when she did. School had started a week ago, and now the kids were juniors in high school. Jim Hopper, Joyce, Jonathan, and Will Byers were back, although Hopper remained hiding in his old cabin. He had explained that it'd be difficult to come back and explain where he'd been for the last eight months. Everyone that had remained in Hawkins had welcomed Joyce and the boys back with open arms of course, but the town was basically in ruins. Some buildings still functioned, trying to work as if the massive earthquake hadn't happened five months ago, dividing Hawkins into four pieces. But moving on was hard. So many homes had been destroyed, so many lives lost. Many former residents deemed Hawkins irreparable, and simply moved on, starting new lives in different cities. The residents that did stay, try as they might, continued to live normal lives. As normal as it could be. The massive trenches from the "earthquake" were deemed too unstable to build over and there were fences surrounding them, preventing people from getting too close to the perilous edge.

At least it didn't glow anymore.

The Upside Down gate seemed dead, the orange and red hues not making an appearance since three days after it had formed and Hawkins was showered in the ash. No one had been able to figure out why the ash had fallen, luckily many people assumed it was just ash from the fires that had been spread. But the group knew better. It wasn't a good sign.

It had been five months, though, and nothing else had happened. When she wasn't in the hospital trying to find Max, Eleven tried nearly every day from the safety of Hopper's cabin to find Vecna, but her efforts were fruitless. If it weren't for Will, they would've assumed everything would be ok. But Will kept saying that Vecna was still alive, still fighting. He could feel his presence. Mike was unfortunately in denial, saying that since El couldn't find Vecna it had to mean he was dead. That had led to a massive fight, unfortunately, and the results had divided the party. It seemed that their party was over. With Lucas glued to his seat in the hospital next to Max's bed playing Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush on repeat, Will and Mike's fight, El trying every single day to find someone, Dustin had no choice but to try to do something. He'd tried to keep the party together, tried to get Mike to get his shit together and apologize to Will, tried to be supportive of El by bringing her snacks and comics as a way to help her relax somewhat, sitting with Lucas for a few hours at a time. But his efforts seemed futile.

The only ones who seemed to be somewhat normal and had their shit together was the teenagers. Nancy and Jonathan were still together, although the relationship seemed strained. Robin and Steve refused to date, most likely because Steve was being too much of a little bitch to actually ask her out. They both had lost their jobs at the video store, due to it collapsing into the Upside Down. They now worked at the grocery store, volunteering on their days off to help with the disbanded party. Steve kept his babysitter role and was very serious about it. He and Dustin seemed to be the only ones trying to keep everyone together. He and Dustin unfortunately didn't hang out much anymore, Steve always making excuses to be alone. Even Steve couldn't get through to Mike, and had given up trying months ago. It seemed like Steve had given up on a lot of things, but tried to be there for everyone all the less. It seemed like everyone had given up.

"Vecna would want us to be separated!" Dustin had insisted. "That way we couldn't help each other-"

"Oh my god Dustin!" Mike had yelled outside Hopper's cabin. It was April, about a month after everything had happened. "Vecna is dead! He can't come back, he won't come back!"

"How do you know that?" Dustin had demanded. "Will says-"

"Fuck what Will says! El can't find him, so he has to be dead!"

"Mike, you weren't there! Steve and Nancy and Robin all said that there wasn't a body. He's still out there." Dustin was getting angry now. Everything was stupid. This whole situation was dumb. They shouldn't be fighting like this, they had to stick together.

"Maybe he crawled off and died?" Mike had insisted. "El can't find him. According to Nancy he had been lit on fire and she shot him like a dozen times with a sawed off shotgun. No one could survive that! Hopper said that he killed the demodogs with a gun, Vecna couldn't have survived."

"Mike! You. Weren't. There. You were hiding out with Will and El in a pizzeria, you didn't even go to the Upside Down. Things work differently there. If Will says he can still feel Vecna then that means he's still out there." Dustin was getting fed up. Mike and Will needed to make up, Mike needed to get his head out of his ass. As much as Dustin would love for Vecna to be dead and for them to live their normal lives again, it didn't look like that was the case.

"Maybe Will was just sensing the demogorgon, or maybe the Mind Flayer. El can't find Vecna. If he was there she'd find him." They were just going around in circles.

"Mike-"

"No, Dustin. I'm done. I'm going back and sitting with Eleven." Mike had then turned around and went back into the cabin, slamming the door shut and leaving Dustin standing alone outside, the chilly spring air clinging to his exposed hands and face.

That was four months ago. Mike refused to talk to Dustin, barely tolerating his presence when he came by to hang out with Eleven and check in on her. Dustin tried to talk to Will, too, but even he didn't want anything to do with the old group. He had locked himself in his room, and according to Jonathan didn't even leave his room unless it was for the bathroom or grabbing something to eat. Even then, though, Jonathan had said that most of the time he'd only eat if he or Joyce brought him something. They had moved into a different house, the old one having been destroyed during the splitting.

Suzie was still a safe space for Dustin, the two of them still talking every night on the radio. Most of the time it was just Dustin venting about his friends and the shitty situation, leaving out some details. He didn't want her to get sucked into their shit show. She would give logical, sound advice that Dustin completely agreed with, but he knew his friends didn't think the same way. Tonight, however, Suzie wasn't able to talk for very long. She apparently got in trouble for skipping her chores and her radio time was going to be limited to once a week for a month. Dustin didn't know how he was going to manage. They were only able to talk for a half hour before she had to go, leaving Dustin alone in his room.

The silence was unbearable, so he had taken his mom's record player into his room. He was slowly gathering a small collection of vinyls, mostly some popular songs as well as a few metal ones. The metal ones being thanks to Eddie Munson.

Eddie…

Eddie had died in the Upside Down five months ago. He had given Dustin the most metal concert ever, playing Master of Puppets by Metallica to distract the demobats and draw them away from Vecna's house while Steve, Nancy, and Robin attacked him. Unfortunately, despite the awesome job they did of fortifying Eddie's trailer, they weren't able to seal everything off. Dustin had managed to get through the gate, but Eddie had stopped, slicing the rope and gaining the attention of the demobats. He had saved Dustin, saved Hawkins from the demonic beasts. Giving his life in the process.

"I love you, man."

The words ached in Dustin's chest. He got up from his bed and siffted through his record collection, deciding to forego his vow of silence on a school night. He found the record he was searching for, pulling it out of its sleeve and setting it up. He hit play and his room was filled with heavy guitar riffs, drums beating methodically. He sat on his bed and closed his eyes, remembering just how awesome it had been with Eddie standing on top of the trailer, putting his soul into the instrument. The red lighting, the vibration from the amp tickling his feet and spreading up through his body. The pure energy that filled the air and himself. Listening to the vinyl didn't have the same effect on Dustin as it had when Eddie had played it, but the song made him feel somewhat closer to him. But the song wasn't the only thing he and Eddie had.

He reached over to his bedside table and opened the drawer, sifting through it until he came across a polaroid. It was a picture of the Hellfire Club, the members posing and smiling at the camera. He stared at it fondly, his eyes stinging with tears as a couple silently fell down his cheeks.

"Never change, Dustin Henderson. Promise me?"

The tears came harder, dripping down onto his lap as a soft sob wracked his body. His hand holding the polaroid trembled. His chest aches, his eyes stung, his throat was tight. Everything hurt.

A soft knock came from his door. "Dusty?" His mom's soft voice came from the other side. "Dusty, sweetie, are you ok?"

"Y-yeah, Mom." He so blatantly lied, his voice thick with tears as his shoulders shuddered.

"Are you sure? Do you want to talk about it honey?"

"N-no. I just… I just wanna be alone." He managed.

"Ok sweetie. If you need me I'll be in the living room. Goodnight baby." He could hear his mom's footsteps quietly leave. He sat there, turning his attention back to the picture of his friends. He wished he could go back in time, go back to when he had first joined the Hellfire Club. He wished he could go back even further, to when he and Mike, Will, and Lucas had been fighting the demogorgon, with the only consequences being their characters losing HP. He still needed to give Will those comics.

Suddenly his bedside lamp flickered. Once. Twice. Three times. Dustin wiped his face off, his eyes wide. His heart stopped, and he scrambled to grab his radio from his desk as the light kept flickering. Not again. Not again.

He was about to speak into the radio, his eyes trained on the lamp, when he paused. The light stopped flickering. Then it started again.

Tap tap tap.

Pause.

Tap, tap, tap.

The three flicks were drawn out.

Tap tap tap.

Then went back to being quick.

There was another pause, before the light started flickering again. Three quick taps, three drawn out ones, then three more quick ones.

Morse code.

SOS.

Dustin blinked as the light kept flickering, buzzing. He set the radio down, walking slowly over to the lamp. The taps continued, pausing each time after spelling out SOS.

"... Eddie?"

[randomshyperson]

Seeing u getting many requests there, that's really cool you deserve it (though I hope it doesn't overwhelm u or smth). May I request smth? A WandaXReader where they're always arguing and being sarcastic to eachother but it's just sexual tension. Maybe smth with the lines "why are u laghing did I tell a joke?" "why don't u look inside my head and find out". I think it would be pretty cool. It doesn't have to be smutt though, only If u fell like it (also a dom!reader would be nice). Thank you!

Hello Anon! Hope you’re doing fine! 

Sorry this took long. It was really hard to write actually, because I don't feel anger towards Wanda and thinking about fighting with her was really weird haha But I hope you like this. 

Attraction and Reaction / / AO3 

Warnings: 18+, Smut, language.

Words>  2.415k (One)

Part Two Here

It was no secret on the Avengers team that you and Wanda did not have the best of relationships. 

There were numerous warnings from Steve and Tony, and even Natasha, due to the number of arguments and disagreements that took place. You were sure that no action was taken just because you two function well on the battlefield, even if you don't get along off it.

At this moment, for example, you were in a meeting with the rest of the team about the next Avengers mission, but you weren't really paying attention as you scribbled on your notepad. And then your cell phone vibrated, and you pulled it out of your pocket to check it.

- Can you pay attention, Y/N? - Tony asked, and you looked away from the notification of a message from Carol to look at him. But before you could answer, Wanda muttered with irony:

- Typical.

You blinked, feeling a familiar irritation fill your entire body.

- Is there anything you wanna say to me, Maximoff?

- Just for you to fuck off.

You were going to hit back with a angry response, but the team let out a loud impatient grumble.

- Don't even start! - Tony ordered with a serious expression. - I need to go over all this, you can kill yourselves after the presentation.

- No one is going to kill anyone. - said Steve, and you giggled. - Just continue the presentation, please.

Tony rolled his eyes and resumed the presentation. You let out an impatient sigh and tried to pay attention. Fortunately it wasn't much longer before Tony finished. As the members began to get up, Steve signaled for you and Wanda to stay in the room, and you grumbled as you sat back down, throwing your feet up on the table.

- Girls, this can't go on any longer. - Steve said in a serious tone.

- I don't know what you are talking about. - You mock with your arms crossed. Steve doesn't laugh.

- I'm not joking. - He warns. - You need to work out your differences.

- Things would be easier if Y/N wasn't such an arrogant jerk. - Wanda says, and you let out a wry exclamation.

- If Wanda wasn't completely mental and stubborn it would also be easier for us to get along.

Wanda turns in her chair to look at you, her expression of anger.

- Oh, I'm the unstable one? Remind me who is known to lose her head around here?

You roll your eyes impatiently, but before you can respond Steve shouts.

- Stop it, you two, that's enough. - He says. - You are suspended from the next mission.

- Excuse me? - you exclaim looking at him.

- Until this conflict is resolved, you will work together. - He clarifies and you let out a nervous laugh, frowning. - You will be team partners, and you will learn to get along. That is my final decision. Now you can go.

You get up from the table in annoyance, and hurry to leave, with Wanda right behind you. As you stand in the hallway toward your rooms, she shouts:

- This is all your fault! You have to talk shit all the time, don't you?

You let out a wry laugh as you stop walking and turn toward her.

- You're so annoying. - You grumble with your hands in your pockets. - I can't believe I'm going to be stuck with you.

Wanda lets out an annoyed sigh, and you notice her reddened eyes and the magic slipping from her fingers, and you look at her in defiance.

- Come on, do it. - You tease. - I dare you.

- Girls! - shouted Natasha as she turned into the hallway, and quickly got between you and Wanda, putting her hands on her shoulders to calm her down. Wanda blinked in confusion, lowered her hands and her eyes returned to normal. - You two have lost your minds, haven't you?

Your heart was racing, and you thought it was the adrenaline. Licking your lips, you let out a laugh and gave Wanda one last angry glance before turning and heading for your room.

//-//

Steve was really serious about the suspension. The vast majority of the team was out of the tower heading to some city in Europe, and you and Wanda were basically grounded in the tower while Steve left Bucky checking up on you two.

At that point Bucky assigned you and Wanda to train together, and you didn't understand how the best alternative to resolve conflicts was to make you fight, but you didn't question it.

- I want a clean fight, girls. - He said sitting on the stool beside the mat, while you and Wanda climbed into the ring from opposite sides.

- Tell it to the little witch, there. - You retort, looking at Wanda, and she frowns at you.

- You're really going to piss me off before you fight me, aren't you?

You roll your eyes, getting into a defensive position. Bucky lets out a chuckle, getting to his feet. He picks up two sticks, and hands one to each of you.

- You two need to practice using bladed weapons. - He explains and sits back down.

And then you advance on Wanda, who narrowly defends your blow. She counterattacks with the stick towards your legs, but you jump and throw the stick at her, who ducks quickly. You take two steps back, preparing to attack, and as you launch a series of quick strikes which Wanda fights back, you manage to trip her, and watch with a wry smile as she falls backwards onto the ground looking extremely annoyed. But your smile dies when Wanda punches the tatami and her magic escapes, throwing you away.

You fall backwards, feeling your whole body boiling with rage, and get up quickly, but Bucky has already stepped onto the tatami and gets in front of you before you can reach Wanda, who has also gotten up.

- Let's just calm down, okay? - He says seriously, looking between the two of you. - A five-minute break? And no magic next time.

Wanda rolls her eyes, turning to leave the mat. You start to take off your training gloves. 

- What's the matter with you two? - Bucky asks looking really curious. You roll your eyes impatiently.

- I don't want to argue about this again.

Bucky lets out a sigh, leaving the ring. You look around, and notice that Wanda is in the corner of the room, drinking some water. She is sweaty, and her hair is disheveled, and you look down at her exposed collarbone, feeling your throat suddenly dry. You imagine yourself kissing and biting the exposed skin as she moans your name. You blink, trying to push these thoughts away, and then step out of the ring.

- I don't want to practice anymore. - You announce it before you leave. You think Bucky says something, but you have already left the academy.

//-//

Bucky decided to try a different tactic to improve your relationship with Wanda. He described it as a trust technique, which was something he and Sam tried for a while. 

So here you were in one of the empty rooms of the complex, sitting in a chair facing Wanda. Both of you had your arms crossed.

- Let's get started girls. - announced Bucky, standing in front of you. - I'm going to ask you some simple questions, and I need you to answer them honestly.

- Yes, sir. - You retort with mild irony, but Bucky doesn't mind.

- Y/N can you tell me something you like about Wanda?

You let out a dry laugh. But seeing Bucky's expression, you realize that you are going to have to answer.

- I like it when she shuts up. - You retort, and Wanda lets out an annoyed sigh.

- And I like it when you are not around.

- And I...

- Enough! - Bucky interrupts angrily, pressing his fingers to his forehead. - Let's try something else then. I have brought you a list of questions.

- This should be interesting. - You sneer as Bucky walks up to the living room table behind the papers.

When he reaches for the papers, he decides to stand against the table, looking at you.

- Well, Wanda. Tell me, what behavior do you think Y/N should change towards you?

Wanda smiles wryly.

- I wish she wouldn't talk to me.

- That's fine with me. - You retort grumpily, and Wanda looks at you angrily. Bucky sighs with impatience.

- I am serious. - He says. - Do you even know when this conflict started?

You laugh.

- I'm not the one who brought the enemy back to the team. - You point to the time when Wanda fought alongside Ultron.

- Seriously? - She replies incredulously. - Of course you had to bring that back.

- They are just facts.

- The only fact here is that you are an arrogant jerk...

- You just know two adjectives, don't you? - You mockingly interrupt.

- Oh, I have other adjectives for you, yes. - She retorts with irritation, starting to list them on her fingers as she speaks. - Immature, rude, selfish...

- Don't forget hot. - You hit back with a smile, and Wanda rolls her eyes, but before she can continue, Bucky gets up from the table.

- Okay, you guys are going to do the silent exercise. - he says. - Five minutes looking into each other's eyes. Now.

- You're kidding, right? - You retort incredulously, but Bucky's expression is serious.

- Now. - He repeats and you roll your eyes before looking away from him to Wanda.

It's weird, especially in the first few seconds. She looks at you with an impassive face, and you look at her with the same expression. And then you realize that she has very beautiful eyes. Has it been five minutes, you think, starting to feel strange. You hold your gaze, but your thoughts start to wander, and you imagine that you want to leave. But looking at Wanda like this, your thoughts begin to take a completely different turn.

You imagine Wanda sweating like that day at practice, only this time she's with her legs spread wide while you fuck her on your bed. Then you imagine her spreading her legs for you now still sitting in her chair, while you kneel down and touch her until she loses all control.

You also imagine pushing her down on the table, fucking her until her scream. 

And then a noise startles you, and you blink in confusion, looking away.

- Damn, sorry. - Says Bucky looking at his cell phone that is ringing and vibrating in his hand. - It's Steve. It might be about the mission. Try not to kill yourselves while I talk to him.

Bucky rushes to answer it and out of the room, and you let out an impatient sigh. Getting up, you walk over to the desk, looking at the notes he has made.

- Couple therapy techniques. - You read aloud with irony. - This is a joke.

- We wouldn't be here if you weren't such a pain in the ass.

- Yes, it's all my fault. - You retort, throwing the papers on the table and leaning on the furniture. 

- Are you implying that this is my fault? - she replies angrily. - You're the one who has hated me for no reason since I came here!

You blink in surprise and then you're laughing. You never hated Wanda. Your laughter seemed to irritate her even more because she stood up and assumed an aggressive posture.

- Did I tell a joke, by any chance? Why the hell are you laughing? - She asked irritated, you bit your lips, she was hot as hell with her jaw clenched.

- Why don't you take a peek into my mind and find out? - You challenged, looking at her with intensity.

Wanda looked slightly surprised, but didn't flinch. And then her eyes turned red, and you showed her exactly how you felt about her.

You moving towards her, grabbing her around the waist and kissing her mouth firmly. Your tongue in her mouth, as she moaned against you. Your hands going down a little, steadying her before lifting her onto your lap to carry her to the table and have her sit down without breaking the kiss. 

Once seated, you would move your kisses down her collarbone, sucking on her skin until it was red and sensitive, while your hands went inside her shirt at the waist and up to her breasts. You imagined Wanda moaning in your ear, asking you to touch her. And then you would. 

Guiding your hand up her thigh, you would lift her skirt, running your fingers along her skin, until you touched her where she wanted you to. And you would kiss her hard when you reached it, hard enough to make her lose her direction. 

You would start by superficially caressing her through her panties, until she began to tremble and push her hips against you.

Then you would push the panties aside, and penetrate her all at once, feeling her hot and wet in your fingers, while she moaned loudly against you.

You would bring your hand to her hair, pulling gently to expose the collarbone you wanted so badly to kiss, while Wanda would get overwhelmed with such intense satisfaction. You would push your fingers into her until her walls tightened around you, and she began to spasm, whimpering."

Wanda stumbled backwards with a surprised exclamation and a breathless sigh, the sound of the door opening and Bucky entering the room woke her up. You licked your lips, feeling extremely turned on by the playfulness.

- I see you didn't kill yourselves while I was away. - said the soldier, putting away his cell phone. Then he looked up at you two, and frowned. - Is everything okay?

You cleared your throat, trying to smile. But then Wanda spoke first.

- Everything's great. - Her voice came out a little hoarse. - We talked a little while you were out there. - She lies, but you cover it up. - Y/N and I are going out together for a while, to try to resolve this situation without involving the team.

Bucky looks really surprised, and you bite your lip to keep from laughing, and then Bucky smiles.

- Wow, that's great news! - He says - I am proud of you guys.

- Can we go now? - Wanda asks looking anxious. 

- Sure, go ahead. - He says, still smiling. Wanda looks at you and the gleam in her eyes makes your stomach turn with anxiety.

You walk silently out of the hallway, and there is such tension in the air that it is hard to breathe.

About five minutes later, you are in your room, settling your differences in the best possible way.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Oh man I was scrambling trough tumblr tag and I saw this LB quote about Aleksander: "The Darkling is beautiful, I wanted to create a leader who was charismatic, appealing, a dictator you could imagine yourself following, an antagonist you couldn't just dismiss. [...] The Darkling is beautiful and broken and had a rough childhood, but he's also a brutal, manipulative monster with no regard for human life. He's dangerous because he's seductive, because he evokes sympathy.

…I just don’t even know when to start with this? Can she come off as anymore ignorant and offensive by trying to sound so woke. I mean “beautiful and broken”?! Are you kidding me?!

(Book Spoilers. Trigger Warning: Trauma and Mental Health)

Hmm well I'm not sure you could really sum it up as a 'rough childhood' more like a rough life filled with alot of trauma that has left him isolated and struggling to form human connections. Also I'm not sure I like the term monster for someone who is made the way they are through trauma and also the line about him having no regard for human life is just false he has lines he wont cross which is why he didn't harm the grisha children in book 3 and he was never going to because he values their lives. To be honest though I had some issues with the way LB dealt with trauma and mental health in the books. Not just with Aleks either but with Sergei too, actually I found the way she treated Sergei and his mental health in the last book rather appalling. Sergei is established as being severely traumatised by losing Marie to the point where he struggles to function properly. I think out of all the characters in the trilogy he's depicted as having the worst trauma, all the other characters have bad dreams and what not but Sergei really does find it debilitating and he struggles with day to day tasks like eating, sleeping and even just walking/travelling takes its toll on him. But Alina's attitude towards Sergei at times was troubling. To be clear though I'm not blaming the character for this as it was just the way she was written but she seems to consider Sergei weak and his mental health a hindrance. Here are some extracts from R&R the first is right after Sergei accidently revealed Genya's real name to Nikolai:

I shot to my feet. “What happened?”

“Sergei let her real name slip. He seems to be taking to heights about as well as he took to caves.” I released a growl of frustration. Genya had played a key role in the Darkling’s plot to depose the King. I’d tried to be patient with Sergei, but now he’d put her in danger and jeopardised our position with Nikolai.

Sergei was nowhere to be found. Probably a good thing, since I didn’t have time to give him the pummelling he deserved.

And like I understand that this must have been a frustrating situation but Alina knows that Sergei is struggling with his trauma and that he didn't mean to cause anyone any harm. I can understand her frustration but I really don't like the line about the 'pummelling he deserves'. I just don't like the suggestion that a person who is clearly suffering from a mental health issue deserves to be punished for making a mistake because of his trauma. Here's another instance where Alina is annoyed at Sergei:

Sergei had slowed us during our fight with the militia. He was unstable. I could apologise, offer useless words, but I didn’t know how to help him, and it didn’t change the fact that we were at war. Sergei had become a liability.

Again I get the frustration but again I have issues with the suggestion that because they are at war Sergei should just pull it together. Or even this image that's being painted that people who have mental health issues are just a burden on those around them. People in real life who suffer with similar mental health issues like depression and anxiety often worry about feeling like a burden to their loved ones so this could be really triggering for them. Then there is this from Baghra:

“We came to find you. What’s the matter with that boy?”

“He’s had a hard time of it,” I said, leading them away from the tank room.

“Who hasn’t?”

“He saw the girl he loved gutted by your son and held her while she died.”

“Suffering is cheap as clay and twice as common. What matters is what each man makes of it."

This one really troubled me because its like LB is saying that you can control your own trauma or decide how the trauma is going to effect you. It's again this suggestion that Sergei is weak because he struggled with his trauma more than others did. But the part that actually kind of disgusted me when I read it and I actually had to stop reading the book for a bit because of how much it upset me is how the characters talk about Sergei after his death. Alina had sent Sergei away because she felt he had become a liability and he then went back to the darkling and told them all the information he had on Alina and co. This move was obviously one born of his trauma and was made out of desperation. On several occasions Sergei has said he is struggling with feeling safe and no matter how hard he tries he never feels safe. Alina even tells us that Sergei had gone back to the darkling looking for reassurance and safety which really makes sense, this man grew up at the LP the one place where grisha could be safe, he grew up under the protection of the darkling. Then he chose to stand with Alina and went through the trauma and grief of losing the woman he loved horrifically in an attack against the LP which was his original safe place. He then never feels safe again so it would make sense for him to go back to what previously had made him feel safe, the LP and the Darkling. But this is what the other characters say about Sergei after he is killed by the darkling:

I sat beside him, unsure what to say. I remembered sitting like this with Sergei in the tank room, searching for words of comfort and failing. Had he been scheming then, manipulating me? His fear had certainly seemed real.

Abruptly, Zoya said, “I should have known Sergei couldn’t be trusted. He was always a weakling.”

Though that seemed unfair, I let it pass.

“Oncat never liked him,” Harshaw added.

Genya fed a branch to the fire. “Do you think he was planning it all along?”

“I’ve been wondering that,” I admitted. “I thought he’d be better once we got out of the White Cathedral and the tunnels, but he almost seemed worse, more anxious.”

Abruptly, Adrik snarled, “I’m glad Sergei’s dead. I’m just sorry I didn’t get to wring his neck myself.”

Steel is earned. Adrik had that steel, and so did Nadia. She’d proven it again in our flight from the Elbjen. A part of me had wondered what Tamar saw in her. But Nadia had been in some of the worst fighting at the Little Palace. She’d lost her best friend and the life she’d always known. Yet she hadn’t fallen apart like Sergei or chosen life underground like Maxim. Through all of it, she’d stayed steady.

And yes again I understand why they feel betrayed but they knew that Sergei was struggling and instead of understanding that Alina is accusing him of manipulating her and Zoya is saying he couldn't be trusted and that he was a weakling. To be honest it kind of reminds me of the way people talk about the darkling. Instead of recognising their trauma and trying to understand they jump straight to well they were a bad, untrustworthy person who was manipulating me.

Then there is the last part where Alina is thinking about how Adrik and Nadia are strong because although they faced trauma they were able to keep going and keep fighting but not Sergei, Sergei was crippled by his grief and his trauma and this means he was weak. Maybe its because I have struggled with crippling mental health issues myself where I couldn't even get out of bed let alone do anything else but I just found this implication that Sergei was weak really offensive to those who do struggle that way. People deal with trauma in different ways and whilst some people can fight through it and will just have a keep calm and carry on attitude others can't, others just fall apart, but that doesn't make them weak. I also don't think this 'just carry on and push through it' attitude towards mental health issues is necessarily a healthy message. If you need help then you should ask for it and be able to have access to it. LB could have used this as an opportunity to show a character who is severely traumatised getting support and help to work through his trauma and heal. But I feel like nobody really helped Sergei and any comfort or support he got seemed to be grudgingly given and there was more of an attitude of I'll try to help you because your issues are a hindrance to me than because any of the characters actually cared about him and wanted to help him.

Sergei and the Darkling were both characters that were 'beautiful and broken' but neither one of them was given the support or help they needed. Instead they were painted as either weak or as a monster. So what kind of message does this send to readers who also struggle with trauma and mental health conditions?

[min-yunki-agustd]

THE HOSPITAL chapter: 4

I'm calling them chapters now because I feel it fits better.

~ sope series~

Doctor Min and sickie hosoek.

word count: 3,392

Dr. Min meets an unforgettable patient. An incident happens which leads hoseok and yoongi to head to the hospital. Feelings for one another begin to spark.

Tw: lots of fluff, domestic sope, mentions of emeto, adult language

previous chapter: Thinking about you... Part: 3

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The ambulance drove off.

Yoongi had never felt this way before...

yoongi's heart hurts. In fact, his entire chest was tight. Yoongi feels sick. He stood there, in the middle of the road. He watched as the ambulance drives off too far for him to see. The sound of the siren geting softer and softer. The red and blue lights fade in the distance.

It was when he could no longer see the car or the lights that he takes in a breath. He realizes he's been holding his breath since the ambulance drove off. He stands there not moving a muscle. He can't move. It's starting to get hard to breathe with how tight yoongi's chest feels. He hates this feeling. Even though Hoseok woke up and was responding he felt extremely worried. He couldn't get the image of fear covering hoseoks face out of his brain. He kept replaying the moment he saw hook's limp body on the floor. Why was the image affecting him so much? He's a doctor. He's seen it all. He's seen far too much to be feeling this way. He was starting to get that feeling in his lungs and head. His head felt light, His lungs tight not allowing air to enter them fully. This is the same feeling he felt when he lost his first patient. An anxiety attack he was told by his doctor. A much older and experienced fellow. It was so easy to diagnose other people but for himself not so much. So, when he had his first anxiety attack due to losing a patient he thought he was dying and that it was the end of his medical career. Knowing what was happening to himself didn't make the situation any better. Standing in the middle of an empty road in the middle of the night didn't help much either.

He kicks himself out of his motionless state as his breath picks up. He has his hands on his knees and he begins panting. He holds on tightly to his pants. He was trying to get himself to calm down. The humid air caused sweat to fall from his forehead and trickle onto the road. His stomach swirled due to lack of proper oxygen.

Jungkook sees the once frantic man now in a panic state in the middle of the road. Jungkook runs over to him and pats his back. He noticed that the guy was taking ragged and unstable breaths. He knew exactly what was wrong with him this happens to his friend all the time. He tried talking to him. " you alright man?" The younger says. yoongi speaks between breaths, " huff, yeah, huff, I just gotta- " yoongi gasped for air he couldn't really speak. He feels like he could puke. "I think your alright man, just gotta uh... breathe" jungkook felt awkward as he talked to the stranger. Yoongi found comfort in his words. " you're a doctor right? " jungkook says. yoongi was confused at what the other was geting at. ( I stole this from iron man three when tony has a panic attack in the car and the kid calms him down : P) " what do you normally do when someone feels like this." jungkook is trying to get the man to think about something else and distract himself from the panic attack. Yoongi closes his eyes. He could feel the wind blowing on his face. He could feel drying sweat on his forehead. He can hear crickets outside, and the sound of cars in the distance. He felt himself calm down. he could smell something. It was light, sweet, and fresh. Yoongi realized what the smell was, it was the inside of hoseoks apartment. The smell stuck to him from being inside hoseok apartment. He was finally calm. His breath slowed and his lung function felt much better. He opened his eyes and stood up. " I have to go see hoseok at the hospital." He says to jungkook. Yoongi sticks out his hand in front of jungkook for him to shake. " Thanks for all your help" Jungkook shakes it and smiles.

Jungkook walks back to his apartment. He opens the door and yoongi can hear the sound of a cheerful dog coming to greet him. Yoongi walked to his car. He got inside and turned it on. He was thinking about hosoek. yoongi was a very caring person but he cared so much for Hoesok that it hurt.

He speeds over to the hospital. He's a bit surprised he didn't get caught by the police, he's thankful he didn't. Hosoek lay on a gurney. He gained awareness of his surroundings. So many people were touching him and the lights were so bright compared to the darkness of the apartment. He doesn't remember much after waking up with yoongi in front of him. How did he even get into his house? Hosoek could feel a pounding in his head. He felt something in his hand and tried to sit up. He felt could and his mind was hazing. An odd and dull sensation was in his stomach. It was as painful as before, it felt numb. He looked down at himself. His body was covered in a white gown with light blue diamonds on them. He felt something strapped to his hand. He looked over and saw a male nurse Putting tape over the iv that he just placed into hoseok. He felt someone tampering with his other arm. He saw a female nurse on the other side. He felt squeamish when he saw the needle she had he quickly looked away as she inserted it. He didn't know what it was but he felt the substance go in. He cringed. His body felt extremely heavy and he just wishes they'd stop touching him.

He looked back to see the male nurse clamping something to his finger. He didn't like the pressure but he'd rather look at than the needled. " You'll feel a slight pinch," the nurse says. Hoseok didn't respond to her. He felt sick. The nurses move from hoseok and are writing down things, messing with medical stuff on a metal tray. Hosoek clears his voice before speaking up. "w-wheres... doctor Min. The nurses look at him and then at each other in confusion. the female nurse speaks up. " Dr. Kim will be here shortly, he will be your doctor. " Hoseok felt scared and confused. " Where is Dr. Min." He was just with me. I want- hoseoks voice shakes, I want to see dr. Min." The nurses were confused about how he knew dr. min worked here and why was he asking for him. The male nurse notices that hoseoks heart rate was beginning to rise. " Sir, please calm down, Dr. Min isn't available right now, but Dr. Brown will-" Hoseoks interrupts the other man. Hoseok is drowsy and confused and he just wants a familiar face. Hosoek could feel his eyes water. " please, hosoek chokes on his words. I need Dr. Min."

Hosoek's heart rate picks up substantially. the nurses try and calm him but it doesn't work. Hosoek's breathing picks up as well. At The same moment, Yoongi burst threw the door. The nurses stare at him as he walks in. "Dr. Min do you know him?" " Yes, Yes I do I was there when it happened," yoongi says as he stands by hoseoks bed. Hoseoks hands are shaking, his body is shaking and he feels panicked hearing the machine go off, replicating his frantic heartbeat. yoongi noticed the boy's frantic state. Yoongi feels calm knowing hoseok is safe. yoongi shoulder's relax before he spoke again. " Can you guys give me and my patient some privacy, I need to talk to him," yoongi says looking at the nurses. The nurse lifts The bandage she has in her hand." I wasn't finished bandaging his arm." " I can do it yoongi says. walking over and opening his hand to take the bandage. The nurse places it in his hand. He walks back over to hosoek. The nurses leave and close the door. yoongi looks down at hoseok. He's still shaking. He puts a hand in hoseoks hand and looks into hoseoks eyes. hoseoks was pouting and his eyes glistened with tears" what happened at the apartment?" Hoseok looks down at himself as he begins to recall what happened. Hoseok looks at his hand it was in yoongi's. yoongi's hand felt soft. his long pale fingers held on tightly.

Hoseok relaxes. The machine behind yoongi quiets down a bit and that helps hoseok focus on yoongi's warm and delicate hand. Hosoek takes a deep shaky breath. The odd sensation in his stomach fills a little worse as he tries to speak. "I was laying down... and I was hungry and cold... but- th- the - I didn't..." hoseok words were caught in his throat. " relax, "yoongi says looking deep into hoseoks eyes. " look at me... " Hoseok did what the doctor told him to. Yoongi's ora was soothing. Him being here kept him calm and it made him feel safe. Hoseok gave yoongi's hand a squeeze. Hosoek could see the brown in yoongi's eyes. His eyes were very pretty. They sparkled in the fluorescent lights. Hoseok tried again. he felt calmer. "I got up to get a blanket," hoseok spoke softly. yoongi let go of his hand and began to bandage up hoseok arm making sure the needle stayed in place. Once he was finished yoongi held back onto hosoeks hand. " I felt dizzy, and my stomach hurt really badly."hosoek continues. " ok, yoongi sighs in relief theirs not many signs pointing to anything serious he says to hoseok hoping this information would be a comfort to hoseok. Yoongi slowly lets go of hoseok hand. His hand was feeling clammy and to be honest holding on to hoseok's hand made his heart flutter. " please, don't" hoseok says looking into yoongi's eyes. yoongi looks confused. " it's embarrassing but I'm really scared right now." hobi admits. ( this is the part where animated orange and yellow leaves come out of nowhere lol) Yoongi holds back onto hoseoks hand. Holding it tightly. Yoongi felt too shy to say anything. he could feel himself blush. He was holding another man's hand. he's done it before in past relationships but this felt different. and hoseok wanted him to keep holding his hand it made yoongi's heart warm up and beat fastly. He tried not to show it. He wanted to keep hoseok calm.

yoongi looked down. trying to hide the pink covering his pale face and ears. Hosoek wiped his face of tears. "Dr. min?" can you please stay with me? I don't want to be here alone. hosoek admits. " of course, I can. " you don't have to if you're too tired it is pretty late." Hoseok felt selfish for asking when he remembered that this was dr. mins time off. " no- no I want to be here with you." I wanna make sure you get better. " "plus-" yoongi adds feeling embarrassed. " you really scared me back there. I don't think I can leave until your alright." yoongi says trying to keep his voice steady as he held hoseok's hand. Yoongi can feel anxiety roaming around in his brain. Did he go too far? hoseok was quiet. yoongi interrupts the silence. " have they called your family yet?" hoseok remebers the sadness he was feeling. He felt it all over again. There.... out of town right now they can't come and see me." Hoseok felt tears pile in his eyes and then trail down his face. Yoongi looked up at hoseok's eyes. tears ran down. Yoongi takes his hand and wipes a tear away. Yoongi gives the boy a short hug. keeping hoseoks hand firmly grasped into his own. yoongi whispers " your gonna be ok... I promise" hoseok was astonished. was this moment real? he'd pinch himself but he couldn't move. His eyes were opened wide. yoongi sits back down on the chair beside hosoek's bed and hangs his head embarrassed that he showed affection to the other. hosoek felt like he was dreaming. did- did doctor min like him? he thought. no.... well. that's not the kind of affection you show to just any old patient hoseok thought.

A new sensation hit Hoseok's brain from entertaining the thought of Yoongi being in love with hoseok. He looked at yoongi a little differently now. He wasn't quite sure if it were true but he felt something when Yoongi was around. " what about you? " Hoseok asks sincerely. " how did you know something was wrong and how did you get in," Hoseok asks. "Yoongi looks at Hoseok. Hoseok's expression changed from a sad one to a hopeful one. Yoongi would do anything to keep that look on hosoeks face. " well, do you remember texting? yoongi says. Hoseok looks as though as he's looking for the memory in his brain. " I asked you how you were," yoongi says trying to help jog hoseok's memory. " oh I remember!" hosoek perks up to say. yoongi continues. " well... I text you back and you didn't text back for a really long time so I asked if you were alright again and you didn't reply. I was worried that you may have been in trouble but thinking back now, you could have just been sleeping." How'd you get in? I recall seeing your face but that's all I remember. hosoek says looking at yoongi's worried expression. " Me and your neighbor broke the locks to the door. " I'm really sorry about that, I will pay for the damages. " I kept knocking and calling but there was no reply. yoongi says. " hoseok giggles at yoongi cute expression. " it's ok, I know you were just trying to keep me safe." " you could have just sent the police or an ambulance though, but you saved my life and I couldn't be more grateful." "Thank you so much, Dr. Min. " Hoseok says smiling. He teased yoongi a bit, realizing that he cared a lot about him. hell, he had to care to break down the door hosoek thought.

yoongi looked away blushing a bit while nervously scratching at the back of his head. Well, it was really no problem. I just want to make sure you were safe is all. They were silent for a while. The strong medication made him tired and yoongi by his side made him feel safe and relaxed enough to fall asleep. Yoongi sat and watched. admiring hosoek face. He wondered what hoseok did for a living yoongi's eyes scanned hoseoks body. He was quite fit. He also had the brightest personality yoongi had ever seen. Hosoek went from crying and scared to calm and maybe a little happy yoongi thought. watching as he sleeps. yoongi yawns. He felt really tired. He looked in the direction of the hospital room's window. The sun was beginning to rise. He turns back and looks at hoseok. He looks so peaceful. Yoongi realized he was falling for the other. He'd only met him a few days ago but in that time he has laughed a little, he's cried a little too. He just can't imagine not seeing hoseok every day. No. He can't. He doesn't know anything about this man. He is his patient. yoongi let go of hoseoks hand. He can't fall for someone he just met. He was his patient. It's probably against the rules. It's been a while since he'd checked the old handbook but he's pretty sure. And if he did, there is no guarantee that hoseok would feel the same. yoongi was the one who made moves. He held hosoeks hand. hosoek probably was only scared that's why he didn't let go ,yeah that's what it was. Even if hoseok did magically like him what then? a relationship? Could he really handle one right now? what would his co-workers say if they found out he was with a man. what would his parents say? Did hoseok even like men?

Yoongi laid back in the chair he sat in. Arms folded. He put his chin to his chest and began drifting/falling asleep. The two stayed sleeping in the hospital room. Nurses would come in to check but they would stay quiet so as to not disturb the two. It was around lunchtime when hoseok woke up. He sat up in the hospital bed. He looked over to the side. Yoongi was sleeping peacefully. He couldn't have been comfortable sleeping though hoseok though. Hosoek realized he stayed. He didn't have to. Hoseok wouldn't have minded if Dr. min went home while he was sleeping. Dr. Min was so sweet hoseok thought. Yup, he was definitely falling for him. He tends to fall too quickly. He couldn't help it. He's never had someone care so much. It warmed his heart. The feeling left quickly when he felt an awful pain in his stomach. He laid back in the bed and yelped in surprise by the pain. He held on to his stomach. He's not sure if whatever he was given worn off or if it was a different pain but it hurt a lot.

Yoongi hopped up and looked over to hoseok. Hoseok looked up meeting yoongi's groggy expression. yoongi was so tired that he leaned in a little too close. He was close enough to kiss. They accidentally bump noses instead. Yoongi stepped back, surprised almost falling over the wires connected to the machinery. He balances himself and apologizes. He asks hosoek if he's ok. Hosoek tells the doctor about his stomach. "It's probably hunger" yoongi helped hosoek pick out food from the hospital's menu and yoongi stayed by hoesoks side. making sure he ate well and relaying any symptoms to his doctor. After eating hoseok complained about his stomach not doing so great. " was it the food?" yoongi asks." did you eat too much?" hoesok kept his eyes closed as he rubbed his tummy. " maybe... I'm not really sure." "it's like... " hoseok hiccuped in between talking " my stomach won't digest it. or it won't settle down." " would you like me to get your doctor?" " I thought you were my doctor." hosoek says. "I'm not on the clock right now." " hoseok pouted a bit. His expression was like a little kid's. "oh"

"call up your doctor. He'll tell you what he's going to do next and he'll help you out. " yoongi says. Hoseok says ok and grabs the remote and presses the button. It was a bit of a long wait. Yoongi tells the other to be patient. It was hard to with the pain growing. He was starting to sweat and nausea swirled in his stomach. " I'm not sure that I can wait. " what's wrong?" yoongi says in a calm tone but stands quickly. " I think..." hoseok gulps and sits up. " hoseok, tell me what's wrong. " yoongi says. " I think I might puke." hoseok spits out. Yoongi walks over to the cabinet and starts rummaging for something. Hosoek squeezes his mouth shut feeling bile rise in his throat. yoongi finds what he was searching for and hands it to hoseok. Here. Hoseok takes it and keeps it over his mouth. hoseok gasped for air. He hiccups and then retches up his lunch. The blue bag grows heavy in his grasp. yoongi rubs the other back lulling him to calm down. After another round hoseok manages to calm his stomach. He rubbed it in circles as he tried to relax. He lays back feeling weak and achy. The pain from the fall before has caught up to him and now makes his body ache.

The doctor eventually walks in. yoongi explains the situation and the doctor tells him that a nurse forgot to give hoseok a round of the meds they were giving him. Which was most likely the reason for nausea. This angered yoongi but he kept his cool and listened as the doctor spoke. The doctor tells hoseok that he will be released soon. The doctor states that unfortunately, they couldn't find the problem. yoongi was the first to find this problem. The doc said that He has more medication that he can pick up and that they'll run a few tests before he's allowed to leave. Hoseok was glad that he wouldn't have to stay much longer.

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This is definitely one of my favorite series!

I hope you enjoyed and don't worry things really pick up in the next chapter ; ) also yes I'm so addicted to this story that I've already planned out the next chapter lol

[angelguk]

this prompt: jock!jaykay and namjoon running into each other at a party or sth and namjoon being like ‘you finally grow a pair and ask oc out yet?’ and jks just like 😧 and joons like ‘seriously dude? 😑 i’ve been waiting for you to ask her out since before i even dated her’. but make it more angst!!! namjoon is kind of an asshole here. there’s smoking, drinking and jk getting a brief lapdance. oc is a LIAR. jaykay deep in his feels tbh. roughly 1.5k. listen to all i wanted by paramore

Jeongguk's crossed too many paths with people during his life to remember every face his eyes have ever seen. But there’s one he will never forget, no matter how hard he tries to scrub the memory from his brain, ignore the muted forlorn twang in his heart, the low ache that ebbs from the base of his skull. It sparks up again despite years of never seeing the individual who caused the problem. How could he forget those broad shoulders? The sharp analytic eyes. The man whom you’d attached yourself too for a good chunk of your joint high school careers. It surprises him, honestly, because Jeongguk’s got a girl grinding on his lap but his eyes are locked on Namjoon, ears trailing after the sound of his deep laugh instead of the sweet nothings Nayeon (or Naeun, or Nayoung — he can’t fucking remember) is murmuring into the hollow of his neck.

For one, he’s fucked out of his mind. Taehyung probably laced the joint; he liked doing that shit even when it messed up Jeongguk’s trip. He should have known not to take a hit, but he was already ten shots in and nothing sounded better than smoke in his lungs. Maybe not nothing. This girl feels good in his hands, responds to the lightest of his touches, moans in his ear like she wants him to fuck her.

He could. He has before. Probably. She knows exactly where to nip his neck for this to have not been a repeat hook-up. But in the haze of the low living room lights and the spinning headiness of the drinks he’d downed, he couldn’t make out her face. It’d shift and twist and turn into an image that almost makes him want to cry because, at some angles, when the shadows form right, he thinks he can see your face. It could be you in his lap, you whimpering whenever your crotches aligned just right, you clinging to him like the sun hangs onto the evening sky.

But it’s not.

And for some unfathomable reason, Jeongguk’s ruined mind recognises that sucks.

Because it should be you.

He doesn’t know how he gets that girl off. Probably some lie that he needed to pee. In reality, he needed to breathe, because those thoughts surface with malicious intent, purposefully drawing him closer to deep dangerous waters. If he’s not careful he could easily drown, suffocated by desires he can’t even string together into a comprehensible sentence.

The night air hits sharp, seeping through his loose shirt. It grounds him enough for his steps to stabilise, feet following a slow trudge to the edge of the balcony. He doesn’t even know whose house this is. Somebody he’s probably never met honestly. But he wanted you to come. Everyone was coming out tonight. Even your elusive roommate Sohee was somewhere in some bathroom with a head between her thighs. You probably are doing that too, to be far. Even the name evokes bile from his throat, bitter and violent, full of jealousy he’d never really learnt to contain.

Lee Eunwoo. A graphic design major. Slightly taller than Jeongguk (only when Jeongguk is having a bad day) and somehow he can make you giggle like he’s getting paid for it.

You’d mentioned it so softly that Jeongguk didn’t even hear it at first. But then your cheeks had heated up, that stupid sparkle melting through your gaze. You wanted to spend the night with him, take advantage of an empty apartment, perhaps watch a movie or two.

It's obvious that you were going to sleep with him. The thought itself irked something visceral inside of Jeongguk. But he’d given you an easy smile, laughed at the modesty of your demeanour and wished you well with a tight hug. The same low buzzing of frustration that he got when you were with Namjoon was already waning through his system as he completed his sets at the gym with more force than needed.

Which is why he can’t help but release a bitter laugh into the night. Ironically, Namjoon was here while you were getting your back blown out by another idiotic guy Jeongguk did not like.

“What’s so funny?”

He can’t spin around to face him, Jeongguk knows he’ll throw up if he does. But he can’t forget a timbre like that. Not when you nearly wrote a poem about how wonderful Kim Namjoon’s voice was. A poem which you recited to Jeongguk before he begged you to rip it to shreds and never talk about again.

(Subconsciously Jeongguk had adopted a deeper voice whenever he talked to you since then. It came out more when he was drunk, but it’s not like you paid any attention anyway).

“Nothing,” he returns. He hopes Namjoon gets the hint and goes away. The bastard joins him on the balcony instead.

“No, seriously, what’s funny? You look like you’ve got a lot going on in your head.” Namjoon was always so concerned in talking about emotions and putting your feelings into words. It’s one of the reasons why you loved him and probably reason one thousand why Jeongguk hated him.

“Hello to you too, Kim Namjoon. Don’t you think we should catch up on the pleasantries before you start psychoanalysing me?” He retorts, forcing his gaze onto the other man. Namjoon looks good; golden skin, broad shoulders and his hair cropped short. There’s an ease to him that Jeongguk could never replicate no matter how hard he tried. Perhaps that’s what happens when you’re born sure of yourself. Like Namjoon was.

The laugh he receives is empty. Namjoon is busy rifling through his pockets, fingers emerging with a joint and a lighter. “Nice to see you too, Jeon. Didn’t think I’d ever bump into you after high school but the universe works in mysterious ways, doesn’t it?” The jay slips between his lips, followed by a swift flick of the lighter before a deep inhale that Jeongguk swears he feels in his lungs. The smoke floats out pretty, fading into wisps of nothing but grey as the breeze sweeps it away. Namjoon offers it cordially, a simple raise of his defined eyebrows and even though Jeongguk’s legs are melting through the floor he can’t say no.

“You sure?” The doubt tinting his tone makes him take it. His overestimation in his maintenance capabilities leads to a rather rough inhale, and an even worse hacking cough that he wants to be mortified at because Namjoon fucking laughs. But he can’t when the world feels like air in his fingertips, slowly slipping away. Almost like you feel at times. 

“You should stop taking the shit Taehyung rolls. I don’t even know what he slips in there but last time I smoked with him I thought I was on Mars.”

“Taehyung offers, I never ask.”

“You never ask for anything to be frank.”

“What?”

“You heard me,” Namjoon returns, smoke falling from his lips.

“Yeah, I fucking did. I was giving you the chance to pretend you didn’t say it.” Jeongguk’s all in his space in an instant, the itch to smash Namjoon’s face tingling beneath his skin. Namjoon doesn’t even back up, gracing Jeongguk with a quizzical look that leaves him bewildered. “You don’t fucking know me—"

“I do.” There’s a scoff that riles him up even further. Namjoon’s still incredibly unbothered as he talks. “You think being Y/N’s boyfriend I didn’t hear everything and anything about you? Jeongguk this! Jeongguk that! You know that’s the reason we broke up, right?”

That halts him, a lag in his brain as he attempts to process the words leaving Namjoon’s mouth. The older man just stares at him, the sigh that drifts in between them bordering on pity.

“She didn’t tell you that, did she? Y/N lies about a lot more things than you think, Jeon. Where is she by the way? I’ve seen all her friends but I haven’t seen her.”

“Why would you know her friends?” It’s a stupid question but in the jumble of his thoughts it’s the only thing his mind is capable of plucking out. A question that doesn’t leave him bare and vulnerable like the other one’s racing through his head.

“We don’t have each other blocked on everything. Sometimes we talk,” Namjoon supplies easily. And just like that Jeongguk crumbles. He’s not even aware of it but the first crack spears deep enough to leave the rest of him unstable, wavering as he falters away from Namjoon. You never told him any of this. As far as Jeongguk knew you ended the relationship hating him (a thought that briefly consoled Jeongguk if he’s being truthful). But apparently, you felt comfortable enough to share your life with the person Jeongguk thought hurt you the most.

“Man, fuck you.” It’s a release, to say it. Because honestly fuck Kim Namjoon. In the span of a few short sentences he’s tipped everything he’s ever been sure of upside-down, stomped on Jeongguk’s heart like it was bendable and ducked his head right into the ocean he was afraid of diving it, keeping it under until the water filled his lungs and Jeongguk ceased to function.

Namjoon shrugs, not even looking as Jeongguk stumbles back to the door. He needs to find you, ask how much of Namjoon’s words were true. He doesn’t care if Eunwoo is over he’ll kick him out if need be.

But then Namjoon opens his mouth one more time, the final nail in the coffin.

“You should have asked her out. I was waiting for you to it — she was probably waiting too.”

[littlemessyjessi]

“Not My Bias”: Park Jimin Imagine: Plus Size Reader

Park Jimin Imagine Summary: Jimin is upset because he is not the chosen bias of his girlfriend but instead it's actually Namjoon.   A/N: Also, this is just an imagine, a oneshot if you will.  However, if you want to see more of the story, just let me know.   Extra: Plus Size.  Also, woman is older than the man by a few years. Pre-established relationship, Jimin is dating an Army, ft Platonic moments with Yoongi.   Warning: Fluff, Angst, mentions of suicide and issues with mental health, arguing, jealously... teeeeennnnnnsssssiiiooonn.   Anyway, yeah. ----

Flared nostrils and a deep breath.

'He's just having a day.  Let it go.  He's just in a mood.'

The thought swirled around in that head like smoke.

"Babe, you were all over him.  I don't know how you can think that's ok? If I had done that to someone you would've flipped out!" Jimin's voice sounded.

Regardless of the fact that Jimin was continuously all over people because he was very affectionate and naturally flirty.  

Also, regardless of the fact that he literally had millions of people ready to volunteer like Katniss for the Hunger Games at the drop of a hat.

Regardless of the fact that it was very much clear as to how much he was loved and adored by his partner.

Still.

'Don't snap.  Don't lash out.  Just let it go.'

The thought swirled less like smoke and more like the unstable circle of terror that was the beginnings of a hurricane.

"I mean, fuck, you might as well just be with him.  You were practically eye fucking him right in front of me."

Stone cold.

Every thought brewing in that mind was screaming to let it go, to talk to him calmly, to just fix it.

But that's not what happened.

Because even though Jimin was clearly feeling insecure and it had turned into jealously... you had feelings too.

You slowly turned to look at him.

Jimin's gaze was hard as he looked back.

He had that about him where one second he could be cute and adorable and the next he could be very intimidating.

However, his duality was no match for yours in that moment.

"Jimin, you've got about three seconds to apologize." you said evenly.

"Apologize?" He scoffed.  "For what? Apologize for calling the bullshit when I see my girlfriend trying to fuck one of my best friends right in front of me?"

That was it.

You had a long fuse on a big bomb and right now... you weren't just a stick of dynamite.

You were a nuclear bomb.

You ran your tongue over your teeth trying in vain to calm down.

"First of all, fuck you." you snapped and his brows lifted on his forehead.  "Yeah I said it.  Don't you ever insinuate that I am anything less to faithful to you.  God dammit, Jimin.  I didn't want to have a fucking fight with you but since you seem so hell bent on it, let's go.  It's time for war, mother fucker."

His gaze intensified at your response, "Don't you talk to me like -"

"Me?!" you snapped. "You want to talk about me? You're the one who stood right there, basically called me a whore and accused me of fucking your friend! Who by the way, you owe a god damn apology to! He didn't do anything to you and you've been a dick the whole day!"

It was the wrong thing to say and you knew it.

Bringing up Namjoon during a fight, especially considering the context was the worse thing you could've done.

It further ignited his anger and his jealously all but consumed him.

But you didn't care.

He may have started the fire but you brought the gasoline.

"That's just great, Y/N.  Wonderful.   Exactly the way to convince your boyfriend that you're not fucking someone else.  Defending them in the middle of an argument."

Your screaming had clearly drawn attention and the door opened to reveal Jin's concerned face.

He said something but the two of you were too far gone in trying to outscream each other to hear him.

"That you started!" you snapped at Jimin.

"I was trying to talk to you!"

"You were accusing me!"

"Because it was obvious!"

You were shaking when Yoongi's head popped in beside Jin's but you paid them no mind even when Hobi appeared in the doorway.

"Guys, come on." Hobi said trying to calm you both down.  "Don't do this."

"Come on. Let's go get some food and chill out." Jin offered, knowing very well how Jimin's temper could be and also how he could say some horrible things when he really didn't mean them.

He had a sinking feeling that they'd already been said though and there wasn't much that could be done.

"What was so obvious to you, Jimin? Hm? I am a fan.  You know this? I was an Army before I ever met you.  This was abundantly clear to you from the beginning.  Did you really think that there would never be moments when I wouldn't be starstruck occasionally?" you seethed. "Because I'm sorry I'm not perfect Park fucking Jimin! I'm human!"

His jaw tightened and he narrowed his eyes at you.

"That's not what this is about." he said.

"Yeah, the fuck, it is." you snapped.  "Listen, I'm about to make myself abundantly clear about something.  You don't fucking know me as well as you seem to think you do."

"Clearly." he responded and you had to fight the urge not to strangle him.

Yoongi almost rolled his eyes at Jimin and his fucking mouth.

The rest of the members had joined the chaos at this point and you... you just no longer cared.

You were ready to go to war.

Fuck it all.

You drew a deep breath in through your nose, staring at the carpet before lifting your eyes up to Jimin's again.

"You seem to think that you have me completely figured out and you know everything about me.  But you don't know shit, Jimin.  Just because we've been dating for three months does not mean that you suddenly know every thought in my head.  But you're about to find some shit out about me right now."

"You're right. I don't know wh-"

"Shut the fuck up." you said coldly.  "You want to know so god damn badly why Namjoon is my bias?  Fine, I'll tell you and you can either deal with it or you can continue to be a spoiled, selfish little brat.  I don't really care anymore."

He would've fought you for calling him that but internally something stopped him.

"I was never into this type of music.  It wasn't my thing.  I listened to metal and classic rock.  That was what I liked.   So BTS was never really in my statosphere.  But a few years ago, I was at my lowest. My husband had cheated on me leading me to file for an immediate divorce.  I had just lost our baby and I was wrecked.   I didn't want to do it anymore.  So let me paint you a picture here, Jimin.  I was standing in my childhood bedroom because I couldn't bare to be in that house where he fucked his secretary.   I'm standing there in front of my little vanity from when I was a kid and I had my grandpa's pistol loaded, the barrel in my mouth.  My finger was on the trigger and I started to press down."

Jimin, all with everyone else, had gone completely pale.

"And then suddenly my cousin's stereo starts thudding from the other side of the wall.  And it's "Voice" from Joon's first mixtape and I stopped.  Because for the first time in a long time, I felt like someone understood what I was going through.   I put the gun down and I saw there on the floor with my ear pressed against the wall listening to that song.  I cried until I couldn't breathe because no one had ever put my feelings into words like that before.  That song.  Those lyrics.  They saved me.   I put the gun away as if it had burned me,  I cried because I had been so close to ending it all over someone else who wasn't worth it.  I went home that night, researched the lyrics and figured out who wrote them and then I began listening to anything and everything that Namjoon had a hand in creating.  Because it was those words that kicked me back off the ledge."

Jimin was completely still at this point.

No movement.

No sound.

No nothing.

You were staring straight into his soul in that moment.

"So you'll have to excuse me if ever so often I get a little starstruck with the person who literally wrote the wrong that kept me from killing myself." you said lowly.

You finally looked around to see the rest of the members there, skin heating with embarassment that they'd just watched you and Jimin verbally rip each other's throats out and then hear your suicide attempt story.

You looked at Jimin once more before you shook your head and pushed your way through the members.

Several tried to comfort you but you didn't want to hear it.  

You just wanted out.

And that was exactly what you did, shoving through the door and disappearing from sight.

Immediately, upon the slam of the door, Jimin erupted into tears, crashing to the ground.

He hadn't known any of that.

Taehyung rushed to his side, pulling him into his arms and trying to calm him down enough to function.

Yoongi pursed his lips before going after you.

He knew what it was like to pick at old scars like that and how fresh those old wounds could still be.

He caught up to you rather easily, insisting that you let him take you out to eat.

You fought him on it but he did something that he rarely ever did.

He pulled out his super power on you and used his cuteness.

And you couldn't resist the lil meow meow so you caved... just like he knew you would.

You didn't mind it as much as you thought you would.

Yoongi didn't push you and instead the two of just enjoyed a meal together.

You fought him over the check but he already slipped the waitress his card before you could even get a word in edgewise.

Then he took you to a local dog park, watching puppies chase their own tails because he knew it was impossible to watch dogs smack into each other and not smile.

He didn't force you to talk or to address what had just happened.

But what he did do was stay with you, offer you kindness, made sure you ate and did something that made you smile.

He reached out to place his hand on yours and gave it a squeeze.

"I won't pretend that I know what you've been through.  I'm not that arrogant and I'm not you.  But I do understand what it's like to get to a point where you don't want to do it anymore." he said as the two of you focused on a pomeranian with an attitude problem who reminded you both of Yeontan.

"You can talk to me.  Anytime." he said.  "I know I don't usually say alot but I'll listen. I promise."

"Thanks, Yoongi.  I'm fine.  I promise.  I'm alot better now.  I'm not the person I used to be.   Things are different.  Jimin just really hit a nerve with what he was saying and I snapped." you explained.

He nodded with a sigh.

"Jimin is someone who is full of emotion.  He's passionate.  That sometimes means that he loses his temper when he's scared.  He loves you and he's more insecure about losing you than he lets on.   He didn't express that in the right way at all.  I won't defend him on that.  I'm just saying, don't give up just because you two had a fight.  A hell of one, mind you.  Do you realize that you're terrifying when you're angry?"

You finally broke into a laugh at his words.

"I thought Jimin was the scary one." you commented, knowing very well that every single one of them collectively thought Jimin was terrifying when he was really angry.

"Shit, he's a punk compared to you." Yoongi chuckled. "You looked like an absolute demon.  If I hadn't seen it for myself, I'd have never believed sweet Y/N looked like she was forged in the fires of hell."

You nearly snorted at his response before finally looking over at him.

"Thanks, Yoongi.  Really.  You made me feel a lot better." you admitted. "I'm glad you came after me.  This was much better than how I likely would've handled it."

"How would you have handled it?" he questioned.

"Probably something self sabotaging and toxic as hell." you shrugged. "Or maybe I just would've cried when I cooled off.  Or took off.  I've been known to jump in the car and just keep driving when I'm angry.  It's literally me running from my problems but for the lazy because fuck that.  I'm not running from anybody.  Zombies can just eat this ass."

He shook with laughter.

It was one of the reasons he liked you a lot and he thought you were perfect for Jimin.

You were naturally funny and had a great wit about you... and you were tough.  

You needed to be tough if you were going to date someone who worked in the business they did.

You don't fall in love with the idol, you fall for the person.... but that person still has a job and to be their partner is really hard.

It wasn't for the weak of heart.

The two of you sat there for a while.

You'd turned your phone off almost instantly as soon as you cleared the building, not even entertaining the thought of dealing with any questions.

You assumed that Yoongi had likely told someone he was with you since he'd been with you for hours and no one was calling him.

You took in his profile as he watched a squirrel run up a tree.

You could practically see him thinking.

"Just spit it out." you sighed and his lips quirked just a little before looking at you.

"What makes you think I have something to say?" he questioned.

"Because, unfortunately, we are too much alike in some ways." you said.  

He chuckled, "All I'm going to say is, cut Jimin some slack.   He's crazy about you.   Anyone can see that.   And also, give him a chance to digest everything you just told him today.  That was a lot.   You know that better than anyone."

"I didn't mean to tell him like that." you shrugged. "I didn't mean to tell him that at all."

"Why not?" Yoongi asked, very seriously.  "You love Jimin right?"

"Yeah, of course." you said.

"And you trust him?" he said.

"Yeaaahhh." you said.

"Then how come you haven't talked to him about that before?" he asked.

"Because we've only been together for three months, Yoongi and we haven't spent a ton of time with one another in those three months. You don't just blurt your past suicide attempts out to people like that." you all but snapped.

You were getting defensive and he knew it.

But Yoongi also knew that you were only being like that because he'd hit a nerve.

He knew because he was like that at times.

"You were friends before you got together." he pointed out. "I know you're an Army. I get it.  But you and Jimin clicked at that fan event that day.  Don't get me wrongs.  He's a hopeless flirt but Jimin has never willingly forked over his phone number like that.   He didn't even know your name and he was hooked."

You ground your teeth because you knew he was right.

"All I'm saying is, give him a chance.  He's jealous of Joon.  He can't help it.  A part of him wants to be your bias because he's your boyfriend.  I can get that." Yoongi shrugged.

"It's not like Joon is my bias is a romantic way, Yoongi." you sighed.  "I literally just -"

"I know." Yoongi cut you off.  "I know.  I get it.  Trust me.  We are all painfully aware of that situation now."

You chewed on your lip, vulnerable at having your business out there like that.

"Hey." he said reaching for your hand.  "I didn't meant that to come off the way it did.  I'm glad we know.  I wish you hadn't felt like you were so backed into the corner that you had to come out with it like that.  But still, it's good to know that about you.   I think it'll bring us closer as a group."

You just nodded.

He sighed, "Listen, I'm gonna tell you something that I think we'll help.   Men are rather simple in a lot of ways.  Some not so much but others- incredibly so."

You lifted a brow at him.

"Ok?"

"Explain that Joon's work inspires you and it helped you through a lot." he said.

"I literally just-"

"No, stop and listen to me." he cut you off.  "Explain that you admire Namjoon and his work. You love his writing.   This is also true for me or Hobi right?  You and I have talked for hours about some of my stuff and I know you and Hobi sat there and dissected Hope World for like three days.   You admire the work, the lyrics, the content, right?"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"I know that it's a little different with Joon because his song was the first one you'd heard and it was a rather traumatic time.  So there's somewhat of an emotional attachment there.  And honestly, I think that's what Jimin is so scared of." he said.

"Scared of what?  It's music and yeah, I love the way Joon writes and yeah it was a crazy time but I'm in love with Jimin." you argued.

"Jimin is scared that Namjoon could take you away from him." Yoongi said directly.  

"What?" you gasped. "But I love Jimin."

"I know that." Yoongi said.  "Everyone knows that. But he also knows how much you obsess over anything Joon writes."

"It's good music." you said.

Yoongi nodded, "Yeah, it is.  But Jimin has likely got it in his head that you could easily just run off with Joon and have this philosophical conversations about poetry and lyrics.  I'd be willing to be money on it that he's insecure because you didn't start out loving BTS, you started out loving RM.   And that scares him."

"It was never about loving RM or BTS." you countered. "I needed those lyrics.  I liked RM as a musician.  I liked BTS as a group.  But I fell in love with Jimin.  And I'll tell you another god damn thing, I never fucking meant to either! I didn't want to love anyone after that shit happened!"

Your temper was flaring, which truthfully was dangerous, as Yoongi could match you in it.

But he also realized you were just very sensitive right now and not actually angry so he just watched you calmly.

"I didn't want to fall in love with anyone.  Ever again, Yoongi.  I was terrified.  I'm still terrified.  But I met Jimin and he fucking smiled at me and I crumbled.  It wasn't really about me falling in love with him.  I jumped head first into the darkness because even though it scared me shitless, I didn't care.  He's worth it.  No matter what."

You didn't realize that you'd gotten to your feet until Yoongi was smiling at you and he gently nodded over your shoulder.

You turned around and there he was.  

Of course.

Jimin.

With his expressive dark eyes and his dreamy lips.

As cliche as it is, it was almost as if time stopped.

There was nothing else but Jimin and you.

It became a race to get to one another and as soon as you got within arms reach of each other, your kisses were feverent.

"I'm sorry's" and "No I'm sorry" and "You didn't do anything wrong"  "I was just jealous" "No, no, no"

They all clanged together in a jumbled mess of mutterings slurred with kisses.

"Joon is not my bias, Jimin." you breathed.

"Baby, it's fine.  It's not a big deal.  I just got a little -"

"No, listen." you breathed.  "He's not.  I admire him.  I admire his work.  But he's not my bias.  I don't have a bias."

Jimin pulled back to look at you, "What?"

"I don't have a bias." you clarified.  "I don't pick favorites."

"Uh..." he said.

"I don't have a bias." you repeated. "But I do have something else.  Something super special."

"What's that?" he asked, brows furrowed.

"A keeper." you said.

"A keeper?" he asked.

"Yep, the keeper of my heart.  Only one person can be that and that's you."

It was cheesy.

Ridiculously so.

But Jimin melted for you and he squeezed your soft body to his so tightly that you could barely breathe.

And all the while, Min Yoongi sat on that park bench, watching the scene from the corner of his eye, a smirk tugging at his lips.

Smug grin ever permanent on his impish features.

"Lil Meow Meow strikes again..." he whispered to himself.

------

—-

Hey loves!

I hope you enjoyed and I’d love to hear your thoughts!

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Love,

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