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There's a video of Namjoon playing the saxophone in military brand practise and someone said La La Land Namjoon...
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And all this is metaphor. An ordinary hand—just lonely for something to touch that touches back.
Anne Sexton, from “The Touch”
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Desgraciado: (the collected letters), Angel Dominguez
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mature drabble: jealousy

wherein you become a TA alongside yoongi, and jungkook has no choice but to prove his superiority in other ways
[ smut, unprotected sex, oral, jealousy, slight dumbification kink AND praise kink, he’s a little dense and a little mean and beyond endearing (like always), he Wants so badly to give a creampie (so he does), hints of possessiveness, overstimulation, typical mature!jk levels of yearning n overcompensation ]
read mature here!
If you had to isolate one thing about Jungkook (just one, singular thing) that both annoys the living hell out of you and endears you to him to the point that it gets you closer, if that was even possible — it would be his inability to let go of things.
In his process of climbing up the ranks to become your boyfriend, Jungkook’s inability to let you distance yourself from him without getting into numerous fights and an incessant amount of groveling cemented him in your life in the first place.
He’s mouthy and nitpicky, yet he knows diligently when to shut up and just take it. He harnesses the perfect amount of stubbornness that would make you cave after several negotiations here and there, but never excessive to the point that you’d feel the need to post about him on Reddit with a seething heading of “my partner M27 pretends to faint in front of me every time I tell him I don’t want to cuddle”.
(Jungkook isn’t even faking it.)
Jungkook knows that he’s not the go-to guy for a lot of practical things. He knows that he’s not the one you run to when you need to go over your reviewer for your oral exam that’s worth 70% of your grade, because that’s Yoongi’s place.
Jungkook’s there when you need to get your shirt ironed to perfection without any creases (even in the tricky part of the underarm-to-midline area), and he’s also there when you need someone to poke holes at your seemingly airtight presentation proposal. He is there, but it doesn’t mean he’s the best guy for the job.
Jungkook is and will be there for anything that you need, require, and desire of the world even, but he knows to himself that he can’t be utilized in the way you can bond with Yoongi.
(He hates that stupid, intellectual son of a bitch.)
Your boyfriend knows in his heart of hearts (he knows that it exists somehow and someway) that although he’s not the most optimal partner around for the technical, higher-process things that fill up your everyday life, he’s trying his best to catch up. Jungkook studies voluntarily now (70% to impress you and get you to call him your smart boy, and 50% to make an attempt at getting an above passing grade in all his classes) and even better than before, he loves listening to you.
Jungkook, your (occasionally smart) beloved, listens when you tell him about your day.
He listens and hums and replies when you tell him how tiring it is to be a TA, and how you’re simultaneously excited because it feels so fulfilling to be praised and approached.
He listens and laughs and his eyes twitch slightly when you tell him how fun it is to be a TA alongside Yoongi, because the both of you would have glowing recommendations after the gig and your superiors keep telling you that you’d probably end up at the same place of work after graduation.
He listens and smiles very tightly and squeezes his fists roughly against your pillows when you tell him how some juniors keep muttering that they want to have the uni experience of being smart and being a TA with their partners, supposedly like how you and Yoongi look to them.
Jungkook, a man of his word, will catch up to you.
Jungkook, a man of his word and an even bigger man of his overcompensation, will beat Yoongi.
“You know what they say about guys with big brains,” your boyfriend tuts out of nowhere, looking up from his laptop that only had Yoongi’s LinkedIn profile up for the past half hour while he stews in annoyance. “Really, really small dicks.”
“Where’d that come from?” you immediately snicker, looking up from your actual reviewer, putting your highlighter down to indulge Jungkook in what you’re sure of is just a random conversation.
Just a random conversation out of nowhere that’s totally not fueled by the jealousy he’s been harboring the past few weeks.
“I’m not citing my sources to you,” Jungkook huffs, closing his screen unceremoniously before crossing his arms, shaking his head slowly. “Such a shame about Yoongi.”
Now that you think about, you should’ve seen it coming from a mile away.
You should’ve been suspicious when it was Jungkook himself who asked how Yoongi did awhile ago with a shit-eating grin on his face, as if he’s just gathering all the pent-up frustration he has for the sake of being over with it.
You snort at the implication, the excitement of what could possibly be running in Jungkook’s mind slowly hitting you. “Well, I heard from a friend that he’s really end-…”
“Don’t give a fuck,” he rasps immediately, clicking his tongue. He doesn’t want to hear about what you heard about Y**ngi being well-endowed. He doesn’t want to hear anything but you.
“When you said that fun trivia,” you start, rolling your eyes playfully as you stand up from your desk, joining him on the bed. Jungkook doesn’t move an inch like he usually does to accommodate you; he just lies there, seeing you adjust to his strapping figure on your twin bed. “You do know that you were kind of insulting yourself, right?”
“That I’m not smart but I can fuck you dumb?” he shrugs carelessly, willing himself to not react when you sit on his lap seemingly innocently, embracing him warmly whilst fixing his bangs. “Not really an insult to me.”
The laugh that leaves your lips was purely unintentional.
“You don’t believe me?” he tilts his head, his eyes still bordering on playful yet there’s something behind them that’s even bigger, something you can place as none other but Jungkook’s sheer will to prove himself.
“I don’t think you’re dumb, Kook,” you placate him, the gentle smile you have on your face breaking at the edges into something more intoxicating for him; something more provocative that would set him over his limits. “Just like I believe you haven’t exactly fucked me dumb either.”
The grin on your boyfriend’s face would be appalling if not for the stern grip he has on your thighs, fingers digging resolutely at the flesh with the politest, most harmless known tone to man, even if his words were anything but.
“Now you sound like the dumb one between us,” Jungkook laughs, his sweet laughter going straight to your ears as he noses your cheeks, teeth grazing your jaw as he refuses to kiss you when you try and catch him. “You don’t remember, baby? Don’t remember how I’m the only one who can worship you like this?”
Within a split second, Jungkook strips you out of your tank top that’s far too tight on you, immediately making your boobs spring out right in front of his face like the universe intended for him alone.
Your boyfriend, never losing his thoroughly amused and offensive grin, cups your boobs harshly to the point that he pulls you even closer to him, tongue grazing at your nipples that peek out in between his reddened knuckles.
“Kook…” you swallow the lump in your throat, exhaling shakily when Jungkook keeps you upright with one arm against him, the other doing quick work of shimmying you out of your panties like it’s a test item he can answer in his sleep. “Yoongi’s j-just next door, I don’t think-…”
“Oh, I know that,” he hums, his large, tattooed hand traveling from the small of your back and all the way to your scalp, his trimmed fingernails just barely grazing your hair when he tugs, setting you down on the pillow while he hovers above you. “He can think about how smarter he is than me alll he wants,” he hums, taking his clothes off while conveniently ignoring the way your heartbeat keeps pulsing uncontrollably with barely controlled lust, but Jungkook, just this once, would like to think that he’s better than you.
Jungkook, just this once, would like the upper hand completely when it comes to pleasing you, unwavering to your insistent demands of him giving you what you want, exactly when you want it.
Your boyfriend is not and will never be the one to deprive you of anything; as a matter of fact, he’d like to give you everything— far more than you’re ever asking and deserving of, just as his idea of getting even.
“But he’ll never get to beat me when it comes to fucking you.”
“Yoongi’s not challenging-…” you interrupt yourself the moment Jungkook inserts two fingers right from the start, curling them immediately out of muscle memory. You seethe at the intense, overwhelming pressure he gives to you without even begging for it, the warmth of his digits still being no match to the dumb, willful anger in his face; Jungkook’s so mad and determined, his cheeks turned pink just thinking of how to bend you at his mercy.
“He’s just-..! He’s just trying to get in your nerves, that’s all,” you whisper shakily, hands darting to try and grip onto his hair but Jungkook pushes your hands away, instead redirecting them harshly to keep yourself open. “It’s all just… rage bait, baby. You know that.”
Jungkook laughs thickly, shaking his head as he can quite literally see your struggle for words. You’re dripping wet and trembling, and yet you still want to placate him as if it would save your case.
“And you think I’m not gonna leap on it? I literally will be baited into rage. You know how dumb I am,” he huffs, the addition of a third finger into your pussy that’s already sopping wet making you writhe in sweet tension still, the pleasured cry that leaves you without inhibition making Jungkook even rougher. “You know how dumb I can go just trying to please you.”
There’s a sickly sweet sense of pride that fills Jungkook when he sees you keeping yourself open for him despite your legs aching to clamp down and squeeze on his fingers.
There’s a sickly sweet and overwhelming sense of cockiness that only Jungkook could feel at the moment when he rubs the entirety of his palm roughly against your folds, barely cupping and moving yet all your juices quickly spread, the rough pads of his palm only amplifying the punishing pace of his digits inside you.
"Feel too good, sweetheart? Haven't even become precise with it," Jungkook laughs, biting his bottom lip as he savors in the way your mouth couldn’t even close with the amount of gasps and moans that leave you desperately.
“Fucking arrogant ass," you whisper under your breath in between whimpers, your attempt of a dig at him becoming futile because Jungkook immediately stops rubbing his palm against your core, landing a rough slap against your folds instead.
"What's that now?" he asks, voice deepening as he straightens up, rolling your clit in between his fingers menacingly. The high-pitched, needy moans that leave you make Jungkook even more smug, your frustration making your head jerk repeatedly against the cushions. "I'm not saying it's rocket science to make you cum, baby. I'm not a nerd like Yoongi," he hums, the smile on his face widening the more that you plead at him. "I'm just saying..." Jungkook lulls, burying his fingers knuckle deep before pounding you with them repeatedly, making your entire being squirm upwards at his insistence of making you cum messily. "It takes a whole lot of devotion for it to come easy to me."
“I-I’m gonna— fuck, fuck, f-fuck!” you blubber at your release, crying out as Jungkook dips his head to your pussy (partly admiring at his handiwork, and mostly criticizing himself because it was just not enough for him), grabbing you by your thighs and setting them flush against his face until there's no gap; until he feels lightheaded.
Jungkook eats you out fervently like you’ve always depraved him of such a blessing, your cum still warm as it hasn’t even finished dripping out of you yet your boyfriend laps you up regardless, eyes closed and breathing ragged.
It just wasn’t enough for Jungkook. Getting you to cum felt less like a feat and more of an intimidation for himself, proposed by himself, because Jungkook didn’t want to stop.
He didn’t want to stop eating you out scandalously with his biceps curling in on your thighs, refusing to stop making you feel good as you practically tremor in his hold. He didn’t want to stop being better; he didn’t want to stop catching up with you with none other than his appetite and will.
“Y-you don’t have to-…” you whisper as you shake, the never-ending cycle of Jungkook’s tongue fucking you and cleaning you from the inside making your back arch from the mattress in overstimulation. “Fuck, Jungkook. I-I think I’m-…”
“Isn’t that so stupid, baby?” he giggles sweetly, the entire lower half of his face covered by your cum and his spit, lips reddened and swollen from how hard he’s going. “Gonna cum twice and I haven’t even put my cock in you?” he frowns playfully.
“My smart girl,” Jungkook lulls, talking against your folds as his hands knead your skin even harsher, barely matching up to the sheer desperation in his mind that being inside you wouldn’t even be enough.
He doesn’t take mercy on you, and you don’t even ask for it. You take what Jungkook gives you and even then, it wouldn’t be enough. Even if he rises to his full height and pulls you to the edge of the bed, lining his cock perfectly into your tight pussy that does nothing but suck him into a warmth that would never not stop feeling new and overwhelming for him, it wouldn’t be enough.
“Feel good? Feel good looking stupid on my big, dumb cock?”
“So— s-so good, baby. I-I can’t-…” you whimper, your cheeks sticky with your tears and Jungkook’s open-mouthed kisses that you keep asking for because you can’t be any closer than this; you think you can’t be any more satisfied than this in your life and it makes you cry even harder. “Can’t…. c-can’t talk. I can’t stop c-cumming."
“I can’t hear you,” Jungkook sing-songs, his pace punishing to the point that your skin burns at the impact of his thrusts, body moving alongside every push Jungkook gives you. “My silly girl. Thought you had all the words?” he laughs, gnawing on his bottom lip in amusement when he sees your eyes getting crossed slowly the harder that he slams into your sweet spot. “You need cue cards, is that it, baby? Y’need to brainstorm with Yoongi for them?”
“No, no, n-no!” you ramble, shaking your head desperately. “I-I don’t— d-don’t need Yoongi. I don’t, I-I swear!”
“Then what do you need, hm?” Jungkook asks, prying your lips open with his fingers, your tongue immediately darting out even before he could gather enough of his saliva to spit in your mouth scandalously. “Need you to spell it out for me, pretty girl. I can’t understand otherwise,” he spits, pupils blown out as you immediately swallow what he gives you, mouth parting open slightly to try and respond clearly yet you struggle.
“I just— ffffuck!” you groan, the rough, calculated pull of your hair right when he thrusts into you harshly with all of his weight making you sob in pleasure. “Just n-need you, Jungkook! Just you!”
“Just me? Cute,” he pants, the white edging at his vision making Jungkook feel truly, madly, and sincerely grateful of the universe rewarding him in exchange of all his dumb misfortunes before you. Jungkook feels so good that he could cry. “Can you explain that to me?”
The sincerely annoyed groan that leaves you in frustration in between all of your pleasured moans makes Jungkook throw his head back in laughter, the crawl of both of his hands towards your neck cutting your annoyance short.
“You mad?” he sing-songs, the quiet, panicked chants that leave your lips for his change of pace making Jungkook’s ear ring nonetheless. “Aww, but I slowed down just so you could talk again.”
The look that you give Jungkook– eyes red and lashes wet, lips puffy and bearing evidence of him— is enough to make any living being sink to their knees and devote their lives to you.
Jungkook, however, wants to be the lone devotee, and he wants to make it perfectly clear.
“But I don’t want you to,” you whine, the temporary gift of regaining your voice and your words only irking you.
“Don’t wanna give me a presentation? But you’re so good at those, baby,” Jungkook frowns, his pace only slow and barely noticeable, if not for his size that you still haven’t accustomed to no matter how many times he fucks you.
“I-I… I don’t want you to stop,” you whisper in admission, eyes wet for a completely different reason this time, tugging at his heartstrings.
Jungkook tilts his head as if asking you to elaborate, thumb wiping at your tears.
At the very moment, Jungkook decides that true, absolute strength is always giving what you want, whenever you want it.
“I want you to keep fucking me dumb again.”
Jungkook doesn’t waste a single second before bottoming out completely, his calloused hands adjusting you repeatedly as you moan fervently because no matter what, Jungkook feels like he's not close enough to you. He'll remain to feel like he hasn't bottomed out completely until he finds that spot of yours that completely dissolves you into his hold, all for him to mend.
Jungkook folds you in half with both your legs raised, putting you in a mating press with the entirety of his weight, the unbearable squeak and the drawled out, pornographic moan that leaves you after making him sigh in relief.
“Like this?” he whispers to your ear, pace slow and punishing yet deep; far deeper, closer, and more crushing than he’s ever been in you. “Until— fuck, fuckkk— u-until you’re drooling again? ’Til all you can do is say my name?”
“Say it, Y/N,” Jungkook insists. “Say— s-say I’m better than him.”
You moan graphically at the entirely new sensation of being full of nothing but Jungkook in all senses, your words coming out desperate and resolute.
“Give it.”
“What?”
“Give me a creampie,” you grit, scratching your nails against his back, making him whimper. “Give me your cum, Kook.”
“W-what?” he stutters, breath evidently shallowing at your command.
“Give it,” you practically snarl, your desire bleeding out evidently into Jungkook’s bloodstrean. “I-I already know you’re better than him, Jungkook. I… I just need you to prove it.”
“This is not proof enough?” Jungkook switches in an instant, his brief moment of shock and disbelief being overwhelmed by your desire that’s always been his. “N-need me to— holy shit-…! Need me to stuff you with my cum so we’d know?”
“Yeah. T-there’s not other way, right? How would we know?” you indulge him, nodding your head continuously as you feel the knot in your stomach tighten, the weight of Jungkook’s cock in you getting heavier by the second. “My dumb, dumb baby. How are we gonna know how stupid I’ll look if you don’t cum in me?”
Jungkook realizes then, that the upper hand he’ll have over you is by giving you what you want, always, because it’s all he’ll ever want too.
“Y-you’re right. So, so smart, sweetheart,” he concedes, gripping your jaw. “Look at me, baby,” he whispers, eyes boring into you deeply. “Need you to know that I’m the only one who can see you like this, yeah?” Jungkook pouts, talking you through both of your desperation. “That I’m the only one who can fuck you dumb,” he hums. “And how I’m the only one who can see that stupid look on your face.”
“Just you,” you nod without a single dust of doubt, screwing your eyes shut when you feel full beyond your limits within an instant, Jungkook’s cum shooting into you with all its warmth and fulfillment of stuffing you making you squirt.
Jungkook stays inside you as he writhes in overstimulation, the moans that leave him paying absolutely no mind to your neighbors because at this point, it had totally slipped his mind that he went into pleasuring you trying to get even at Yoongi.
Your boyfriend peppers you in kisses as you come down from your high, his own cheeks smeared with his tears as he nibbles at your shoulder out of habit.
“Can I creampie you next time again, please? Like, not just a special occasions thing?” he mumbles sheepishly after some time, looking up at you with his head pressed to your chest.
“The special occasion tonight was you being jealous,” you retort, rolling your eyes at Jungkook’s meekness as if he wasn’t just rearranging your guts minutes ago.
“Thanks for the correction. Let me revise,” he returns your attitude, picking up your habit of rolling your eyes as he clears his throat. “Can I cum in you henceforth?”
“Smartest thing you ever said,” you joke, shaking your head.
“I know,” Jungkook giggles boyishly, tucking his face into the crook of your neck in shyness. “I felt my temple pulse with that one.”
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Dude, I'm deep. I'm dating the poetry club.
JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE (2006) dir. Betty Thomas
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love is the fabric of the universe.
vladmir nabokov in a 1926 letter to his wife véra // la traviata, giuseppe verdi // the antennae galaxies in the midst of colliding, x // speak, memory, vladimir nabokov // heart and soul nebulae, x // interstellar (2014), dir. christopher nolan // divan i shams, rumi
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—Haruki Murakami, 1Q84
[That’s what the world is, after all: an endless battle of contrasting memories.]
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thinking about that one quote from the simpsons about how much homer misses marge
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love as recognition
anna gavalda / friedrich nietzsche / clarice lispector / jandy nelson / rebecca perry / mhairi mcfarlane
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I WANT YOU TO BE MINE. SELFISHLY, THOUGHTLESSLY, MINE
@vaitiolo ; // “Orpheus and Eurydice”, by Virgil; // H.G. Wells, from a letter to Rebecca West (w. April, 1913); // “No, I don’t miss the dissipated night’s”, by Alexander Pushkin (tr. by D.M. Thomas) (1832); // “Blue is the Warmest Color”, by Ghalia Lacroix (2013); // “The Voyage Out”, by Virginia Woolf (1915); // Virgina Woolf; // “Soft Human”, by Emery Allen (2019)
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As in the soft and sweet eclipse, when soul meets soul on lover's lips,
Percy Bysshe Shelley, Prometheus Unbound
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