#hopefully someone gains something from this though idk what youd gain lol

[possessed-pack]

As a fictive of a temporary fusion of two characters, my identity is a little bit more complicated than most others in my system. This post will be me explaining my identity as a possessed Hunter fictive in a little more depth than I've done in the past.

Warnings: Spoilers for The Owl House up until and including season 3 episode 1, very brief mentions of abuse, very brief mentions of death.

In my memories, everything was canon compliant for the most part, up until a certain point. For needed context for those unfamiliar with the source, Belos is the main villain of the series and he had made Hunter as essentially a clone of his dead brother. Hunter was raised on the Boiling Isles--an alternate dimension to the human realm--by Belos as his "nephew". Hunter was mistreated and lied to about his origins, but he managed to get out and made friends with Luz and the rest of her group.

Eventually, the main group ended up stuck in the human realm, along with Belos, who then possessed Hunter and tried to hurt his friends. In my memories, we died in the fight immediately following the possession, and we ended up here in our system, still fused together--except it's not just Belos in control anymore, it's a weird amalgamation of both of us.

We're not a subsystem, because we're not separate at all, though in the beginning it was much closer to something along those lines. We'd only have one stream of thought at a time, but it'd be both of us thinking at the same time, though it didn't blend seamlessly together into a new person. Considering both of our different views on... Pretty much anything, I'd be arguing with my own thoughts in my brain a lot of the time and trying to figure out what I actually wanted. Responding to what people asked me took time, and it was overall unpleasant.

It was hard, especially because I couldn't separate into my two parts. I didn't know how and it just made things worse because it felt like my brain was constantly tearing itself apart, but nothing I could ever do would actually separate us. It hurt a lot, knowing that I was my own abuser and my own victim at the same time. And knowing that some people were going to be scared of me regardless of me still being part Hunter, because I was also the villain of the series and I did do terrible things also hurt a lot. I felt my existence itself was a contradiction and I was fighting with myself every waking moment to properly function.

Recently though, I've discovered that as time went on, I've become more separate from Hunter and Belos. I'm not either of them anymore, I'm Mal. I'm a new person, my own person separate from them, regardless of the fact that they made me who I am. I don't argue with myself, I have a new name, I didn't do all the horrible things that Belos did even though he's a part of me, I'm less stressed overall and I have separate interests to the both of them, even if some of those interests do overlap. Over time, things became much easier for me. It felt more like we were three people rather than two people stuck together, and it felt so much better to actually function that way.

We've been able to separate since. It happened during a particularly stressful period of time, but we separated, and my components changed their names to be Horizon (Hunter) and Bait (Belos). They were unstable being separate at first, finding it hard to exist as their own people after so long. In the beginning they were both scared of each other as well. Horizon was worried that Bait would want nothing to do with him anymore and that I would stop existing forever and my partners would be upset with him, and Bait was worried the same way. They did speak though, and they'd even consider each other friends now, despite their history.

Now we fuse and unfuse whenever we'd like, and all parts of who I am are stable. When they combine to make me, I still don't argue in my own thoughts, and when they separate, they're able to be their own people. I still feel as if people who know my source and are from it see my icon on Discord and avoid me, and as much as that does hurt, I know that I'm not my source and none of us--not even Bait--have done anything bad here.

Overall, we've really improved as a whole, despite our struggles. Our identity is still very complicated, but it at least isn't causing us any harm anymore.

[apocalypticacolyte]

hot mess recap

CAA RIGHT NOW opened memo on board HOT MESS.

Memo is now Secret by CAA

Memo is now Invite-Only by CAA

CAA: hello!!!

CURRENT radicalGameboy [CRG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.

CRG: Hello!

CRG: How's it going?

CURRENT testifiedQuantum [CTQ] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.

CTQ: hello, and good.

CTQ: how about you?

CAA: !!!!!!!!!!!

CAA: our favorite furry arrives

CTQ: indeed i do!!

CRG: What?

CAA: kacys a furry!!!!

CRG: OK then.

CRG: Sorry if it takes me a while to respond I'm currently being pestered.

CTQ: who is pestering you?

CAA: owo

CRG: Umm, their name is webWeaver? I think they're involved with the people pestering y'all.

CAA: ask them their name!!!

CAA: like

CAA: their real name

CRG: Sorry I got a bit distracted, their name is Argaia apparently.

CAA: hm.

CAA: i havent heard many good things about them

CTQ: ?

CTQ: what're they saying?

CRG: They're talking about the game? Supposedly I have an "important role" in it?

CAA: oh?

CRG: Hey Lana she just mentioned you and someone named Finola?

CAA: :O

CAA: what did she say???

CRG: She's woried Finola will mess things up for you? Because she seems very generous with the information she shares.

CAA: hm.

CAA: i hope our conversations didnt mess anything up for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CRG: Hopefully not!

CRG: She said to tell y'all "Try not to get too overwhelmed! You have a very big job to do, but I'm confident you can do it well!"

CRG: IDK if she intended for me to directly quote her but oh well.

CRG: She said "Hello."

CAA: tell her i say hi!!!

CTQ: i say hi too then

CRG: She said "Hello Lana!! You will be amazing in the game, I'm sure!"

CAA: :O

CAA: :D

CRG: Also she said "Hello Kacy!! Your job is very big too but your creativity will serve you well!"

CRG: Sorry its taking me a while to type these she uses several numbers instead of letters.

CAA: valid!!

CTQ: ohh! and valid

CRG: Oh it seems she knows about Nova too.

CRG: Just mentioned that video game metaphors are more Nova's tastes though.

CAA: huh

CRG: BTW do y'all mind me asking what you've been told so far about this game? Karrom and Argaia are vague but they said they're supposed to be. IDK I guess a collective knowledge might make this easier though.

CAA: finola said something about powers? and that she didnt gain hers?

CAA: i didnt talk to kirrin long enough to learn much

CAA: and poscah was purposefully vague because argaia told her to be

CTQ ceased responding to memo.

CRG: Huh, I guess Argaia did say she was the one who mostly enforced the whole vagueness thing.

CAA: huh

CRG: It's a bit late to ask Kacy but has he mentioned anyone named Lyerra?

CAA: not that ive been here for

CAA: why???

CRG: Oh, I did the :3c emote and Argaia said Lyerra would like it and when I asked who Lyerra was she said he's been talking with Kacy.

CAA: so is lyerra a furry or something???

CRG: LOL

CRG: IDK but he likes cats according to Argaia.

CRG: To directly quote her, "Little guy, likes cats, good at hiding."

CAA: oh ive heard of him!!!!!!

CAA: finola and kirrin mentioned him earlier!!!

CRG: Huh. I guess they really all do know each other.

CAA: well they said that they are all trapped together basically

CRG: Huh.

CRG: I guess I really haven't found out much about their whole situation.

CRG: Karrom did say there were about a dozen of them though.

CAA: wow thats.. a lot

CRG: Yeah.

CAA: some of them implied that they need us to help them???

CRG: Really? Argaia said she and Karrom were just trying to help us.

CRG: Some stuff about a new environment and having something familiar (them) there to help us?

CAA: kirrin threatened to make our lives hell if we didnt manage to save them

CAA: kirrins,,, scary :(

CRG: Oh yikes.

CAA: i hope she doesnt contact me again

CWW ceased responding to memo.

CRG: Well you can always block her, can't you?

CAA: i already did that and she still managed to contact me :(

CAA: !!!!!!!

CAA: finola just messaged me!!!!!!!!

CRG: Oh oof. Well hopefully she doesn't contact you anymore.

CRG: Oh?

CAA: she says that argaia told her to stop talking to me so shes talking to me now because of that

CRG: LOL. As funny as that is, maybe should should listen?

CRG: IDK what

CRG: 's going on exactly but it seems like it might be best to be careful.

CAA: it might be best to be careful but i also would like to know whats going on!!

CAA: finola just said that

CAA: argaia messed up a lot of things when they played the game

CRG: Oh?

CRG: ((sorry i'll brb i gtg use the bathroom))

CAA: she didnt really explain in more depth

CRG: Huh, Argaia made it out like it was the whole group that messed up.

CAA: she mentioned something about a "time player"???

CRG: What does that mean?

CAA: "uhhh just knovv it's rreally helpful forr biggerr and shittierr grroups"

CRG: Is it supposed to be an Ocarina of Time reference or something?

CRG: Oh?

CAA: "because vve fuck up a lot morre than smallerr vvell-coorrdinated ones like yourrs"

CRG: That's... weird.

CAA: she said stuff about there being other powers and that the way we gain them is "kinda suprising"

CAA: and said that she looked ahead and that mine are pretty cool!!!

CAA: shes pretty cool herself,,,

CRG: What does that mean? Looked ahead?

CAA: i uhh

CAA: dont exactly know

CAA: shes accusing me of being a furry :O

CAA: the only furry i know of is kacy >:P

CRG: Well are you?

CAA: no!!!!!!!!!!!

CRG: LOL OK.

CAA: we only have room for !!!one!!! furry in this group!!!

CAA: and that furry is kacy!!!!!!!!

CRG: TBH though I'll be kind of glad when we play this game or whatever so people can stop being vague.

CAA: oh big mood!!!

CRG: ((brb sorry))

CAA: she said that im the only one she talks to??? at least as far as she knows so far????????????????

CAA: she says that we all have really cool powers!!!

CRG: Oh?

CAA: she didnt really elaborate before moving on to venting about her session

CRG: Huh.

CRG: What's she saying about her session if it's alright to ask?

CAA: that most of the people to gain powers in that session were

CAA: give me one second to find a word to replace the one she used please

CAA: jerks

CRG: Oof.

CRG: I guess she's probably not gonna talk much about the game itself huh?

CRG: Though I guess I should mind my buisness to avoid "spoilers" so to speak.

CAA: she did say to not be shaken up about the method of gaining the powers if youd consider that something useful!!!!

CRG: I guess power does come at a cost.

CAA: do you have any ideas of any questions i should ask her???

CRG: Maybe if she can at least give us a little information about what we're getting into? IDK I had more questions but I forgot sorry.

CAA: "take it serriously, it seems like a game but rreally it's superr &^*#(@^ serrious"

CAA: censoring mine

CRG: Huh.

CAA: "you'rre on a prretty strrict time limit, so uh prriorritize and shit"

CAA: she swears a lot hm

CAA: im just not gonna censor it since its her words not mine so it shouldnt bring me bad luck

CAA: "prriorritize yourr frriends overr the game and the game overr us"

CAA: " some people vvill tell ya that the game's the most imporrtant thing"

CAA: "but rreally it's yourr grroup"

CAA: "you need ALL OF YOU to succeed"

CAA: "that's vvherre vve fucked up"

CRG: Hmm.

CRG: Well I guess that does seem like useful advice.

CAA: "but like 100% no shit put yourr grroup beforre yourr session"

CAA: " because the game is strrange"

CAA: "it makes you think you'rre supposed to do one thing, and you get so focused on that thing,"

CAA: oh this gets.. interesting

CAA: "but rreally that vvasn't it at all"

CAA: "and if you decide that a possibly vvrrong goal in the game is morre imporrtant than yourr frriends, vvell..."

CAA: "it's not good"

CAA: "it was the worst mistake we ever made"

CAA: "and look where we ended up"

CAA: "everybody'll tell you you can't trust anybody and all that crap"

CRG: Oh. That's interesting.

CAA: "but really the one you can't trust is the game itself."

CAA: "it's not you versus each other or you versus us or even you versus the queen. it's your group versus the game."

CAA: "that's how i see it anyways. not that anybody listened. not that i knew it in time to make a difference."

CAA: "not that i could've, without any powers."

CAA: it seems like its really important for us to all stick together!!!!!

CRG: Yeah. We should probably mention this to Kacy and Nova?

CAA: ill send them the log when they get back on!!

CAA: "you have to stay together. promise me that. i know kirrin's told you not to give a shit about us, that you have to win."

CAA: this,,, gets dark so im going to paraphrase what she said if thats ok

CRG: OK! I'm a bit worried now though.

CAA: she says that even more important than the game is keeping the group together

CAA: she started to,,, spill her guts and id prefer not to send what happened but heres some info from it

CAA: "i don't know why the game picked what it did for you. but i'm worried about what that could do to you."

CRG: OH?

CRG: Thats... kind of concerning?

CAA: yeah!!!!!!!

CRG: Well I'm here for you so hopefully nothing bad happens! In regards to the what it could do to you thing.

CAA: she says that we have a good group and for me to not be afraid to ask for help

CRG: Huh.

CRG: Well I'll always try to be here for y'all!

CRG: Well I got to go to sleep, let me know if anything interesting and/or important happens!

CAA: alright!! sleep tight!!!

CRG: You too! Whenever you do!

o