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megalony · 1 day ago

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Forgive And Forget

This is a new Buddie x reader imagine I had an idea for and I think it turned out rather well.

Please let me know what you think and if you would like a follow up.

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Buddie Masterlist

Summary: When Eddie learns Maddie is having another baby, it leads to an argument within his relationship. Because when Maddie left after having Jee, it was (Y/n) Eddie and Buck who cared for her daughter in the aftermath.

Enjoy.

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A discontented groan left Eddie's lips when the sound of his alarm rung out through the air, jostling him from his dream.

It was early. He felt like he had gone to bed five minutes ago, but if his alarm was waking him up then he guessed he had slept longer than usual. Most of Eddie's recent shifts had been early, usually starting at five or six in the morning.

Today's shift was lined up to begin at nine which would feel like turning up in the afternoon compared to normal.

With a grunt, he twisted to the right and flopped onto his back, reaching his arm out to try and turn off his alarm. He had to get up, get Chris and the twins ready and take them all to school on his way to work.

His brows furrowed when he groggily opened his eyes and looked towards the other side of the bed. (Y/n) was awake; more specifically, she was sitting up in bed. He didn't expect her to wake up with him when his alarm went off, not when she didn't have to go into work today and early mornings weren't always her thing.

He reached his hand out and began to glide his hand up and down her thigh while he tried to wake himself up. It took Eddie a moment to clear his head enough to sit up and properly start to wake up and when he did, he looked over to his left. His eyes raked her up and down, taking in the way she was sat to see what she was up to.

She was sat up in bed with the covers strewn across the middle of the bed. One hand was pressing down into the mattress, presumably to help keep her balance and her other hand was pressed against her temple while her head was tilted forward.

"You okay, amor?"

He let go of her thigh to stretch his arms up above his head, straining to click his neck into place before he twisted to the side. His knees gently nudged hers and his hand came up to rest on the side of her neck, his thumb swiping across her jaw until she opened her eyes.

"What's up?" He murmured softly, leaning over to peck her cheek when (Y/n) leaned her cheek into his palm. She nuzzled into his touch, trying her best not to lean on Eddie too much in case she let all of her weight fall onto him and have him hold her weight up for her.

"I feel sick."

For a while now, she hadn't been able to sleep. All she could do was fidget and squirm and groan. She felt sick. She felt like she was starting to burn up, but it just seemed to be her imagination. She hadn't thrown up, she wasn't sweating and she wasn't about to collapse, she just felt horrid. (Y/n) had probably picked up a sickness bug from somewhere.

She twisted to the side so she could lean her cheek on Eddie's shoulder when his hand dropped from her face so he could loop his arm around her waist. His hand splayed out on her hip and he kissed the top of her head while his other hand moved round to brush across her stomach.

"They're still asleep." (Y/n) muttered softly, and she managed a smile as she tilted her head back to look up at Eddie.

She knew what he was doing. Now they were twenty-one weeks along, (Y/n) was staring to feel the baby move and kick and the boys were enamoured. But she liked the way Eddie continued to drag his fingertips along her stomach like he was either waiting for the baby to disagree or like he was soothing them to keep them asleep and content.

It felt a lot better this time around to just be having one baby to concern herself with. It had been a shock to her system four years ago when she got pregnant and ended up with twins for her first pregnancy. Double the kicks, double the discomfort and it meant doubling the check ups she needed and the scans and it increased Eddie and Evan's worries about her and the babies.

At least for this pregnancy, (Y/n) didn't feel weighed down or sick to her stomach every day. She only had one baby wriggling and kicking and messing with her system. It would be a lot easier once the baby was here too, she wouldn't have to do double the nappy changes or two feeds one straight after the other. It would lessen the cleaning and the washing as well with only one baby to contend with.

"Do you want me to get you a drink and some meds?" Eddie peppered a few kisses up and down her neck and shoulder while his hand rubbed soothing circles across her stomach to try and calm her system.

"Please… I may as well get up with you though." (Y/n) found the will to pull away from Eddie's embrace, but not before he tilted her head in his direction to steal a kiss.

She wasn't going to be going back to sleep anytime soon, (Y/n) may as well get up along with Eddie and Chris and help get the twins ready. At least she didn't have to go to work today, it was her day off and Evan would be home soon. She could spend the day with him before they got the kids from school and waited for Eddie's shift to finish later on tonight.

When Eddie climbed up off the bed and held his hands out towards (Y/n), she smiled softly and let him pull her up to her feet. His hands moved down to hold her hips and he attached his lips to the top of her head, waiting patiently for (Y/n) to move first so he knew she was alright.

She could feel Eddie's arm staying secure around her waist as he followed her out their bedroom and down the hall. Once they reached Chris's room, Eddie knocked on the door and nudged it open, muttering a groggy "Time to get up bud." in the process.

He knew Chris had heard him because of the grunt he heard and he knew in five minutes Chris would drag himself out of bed and get dressed.

(Y/n) could feel her head spinning and she was glad Eddie was behind her because her knees started to shake. She still felt sick and her head was throbbing like she was being hit with a hammer. She tried to reach out for the door to the twins bedroom but Eddie's hand enveloped around hers and he attached his lips to the back of her head.

"Go sit down amor. I'll get the girls sorted and find you some painkillers."

If she wasn't well Eddie would rather her sit down and take it easy for a while. He knew Evan would be home soon so he could look after her and make sure she was alright so Eddie could go to work without having to worry.

His hands moved to her shoulders and he kissed the back of her head while he followed her into the living room to make sure she sat down and that she was alright in there.

His lips pursed as he watched (Y/n) flop down on the sofa and curl into the cushion. She brought her knees up until they were pressing into her bump and one arm flopped over the cushion while her other hand started to rub circles around her stomach.

"Won't be long," He mused against her temple before he kissed her cheek, then the tip of her nose and finally her lips when she tilted her head up, chasing after his lips.

Eddie headed into the kitchen to find what he needed before he headed back into the lounge.

He set down a glass of water on the coffee table and some painkillers while he crouched down in front of the sofa. He took the time to reach his hand out and card his fingers through her hair while he perched his chin on his arm that rested on the edge of the sofa.

"You sure you're okay?"

"I feel a bit better."

"Hm, well Buck will be home in a bit so make sure if you need anything, you tell him. And I'm sure he said Maddie and Chim are gonna come by later."

Both men knew what (Y/n) could be like. They knew she would rather hide things from them and suffer in silence than ask them for help or admit when she didn't feel her best and needed taking care of.

All three of them were much the same in that respect. Eddie was used to being the one people relied on, the one who looked after everyone else. So the first time he got properly sick after getting into a relationship with Evan and (Y/n), he hadn't wanted them to take care of him. And Evan was used to looking after people, all his relationships had been one-sided so being loved and cared for wasn't normal for him either.

They were all learning to change those dynamics and accept love and help from each other.

***

"Where is everyone?" Eddie peered his head round the dining room door before he continued and headed into the kitchen.

He had come home and found the house eerily quiet. No one in the living room with a movie blaring out or books and games scattered on the carpet. No one doing arts or crafts in the dining room. No noise coming from the hallway to signal that the kids were in their rooms, and there was no one dancing about in the kitchen with the radio on.

So far, the only family member Eddie had found was his boyfriend who seemed to be in the middle of tidying up the kitchen.

A grin broke out on Evan's face when he turned around to see that Eddie had come home. He swung the tea towel over his shoulder and walked over towards Eddie. One hand cupped the side of his face so he could reel him in for a sweet kiss.

"In bed." Evan whispered each word against Eddie's lips while his thumb brushed across his jaw like he was smoothing out the stubble beginning to grow.

"What, all of them?" Eddie's head tilted to the right before he turned back when Evan stole another kiss while he had the chance.

It wasn't even tea time yet. Why was everyone in bed?

"Yep," Evan popped the 'p' while he finally broke away from Eddie and leaned his left hip against the kitchen island. "(Y/n) went for a lie down, Chris followed her to watch tv in bed with her. And when the girls finished baking they went for a power nap, although I'm pretty sure all of them are watching a Disney movie now."

Once Maddie and Chimney had come and gone, (Y/n) had retired to watch tv in bed. She still didn't feel great, she was coming down with a cold and she looked run down.

When she went to bed, Chris sheepishly asked if he could watch tv with her because he was tired from school and wanted to relax.

The twins had a bit of energy after nursery so they had baked some cupcakes with Evan, but the pair of them had become easily tired after that. Rather than putting them in their room, Evan settled them with (Y/n) because he knew they would sleep for longer with her and they would settle for a movie once they woke up.

He was sure he could hear the theme song from Toy Story blaring down the hallway every now and then while he decided to clean up before tea.

A quiet "Oh," left Eddie's lips and he nodded while he leaned his hand on the counter and watched Evan clean the flour from the worktops.

"Did Maddie and Chim stop by after all?"

"Yeah, with good news." The grin that lit up Evan's face made Eddie smile quizzically and he tilted his head to one side, eager to know what he had missed.

Eddie knew Evan didn't like it when one of them was working when friends or family came round. He didn't like any of them missing out on 'family moments' as he called them and Eddie understood. He didn't particularly like it either, but he had to work today. He had just been glad that he only had a short eight hour shift as opposed to the usual twelve or sometimes twenty-four hour shifts they pulled at the station.

"What news is that?" Eddie swiped the tea towel from Evan's shoulder and moved over to the sink so he could dry the dishes while he waited to be told what he had missed.

If it was some family drama, Evan would have said he had missed 'the gossip' because as much as Evan hated arguments, he loved getting the gossip. And Maddie was a reliable source. She gave them information on just about anybody and she told them a lot of the things she heard down at dispatch.

"Maddie's pregnant, they're having a baby too."

Evan had been ecstatic when Maddie told him and (Y/n) earlier this afternoon while the kids had all been at school.

Maddie had been pregnant with Jee just as (Y/n) had been about to give birth to the twins. And now (Y/n) was halfway through this pregnancy, Maddie was having another baby. Their timing seemed to be almost level, Maddie and Chimney were just a few months behind them again just like last time.

Evan loved the fact that their kids would be close in age. The twins got along great with Jee, she was like another sibling to them and their next kids would hopefully be close too.

There was a nine year gap between Evan and Maddie which had set them a little out of balance. It made Maddie become Evan's substitute parent rather than his sister, especially because she had helped to raise him. Evan didn't want any of his kids having that relationship. He wanted them to bond like other siblings and be close, he didn't want them to have to raise each other like him and Maddie.

When he didn't hear a response, Evan glanced over his shoulder, but Eddie had his back to him. Eddie was piling up the plates ready to load them back into the cupboard.

The little hum Eddie let out and the nod of his head wasn't very encouraging and it wiped the smile off Evan's face completely.

This was good news. This was an extension of their family, this was their close friends expanding their family and showing how happy they were together. Why wasn't Eddie delighted and smiling and wanting to celebrate this moment?

"We'll have two more babies in the family," Evan moved his left hand in a circular motion like he was trying to coax a response out of Eddie who finally turned to face him. But the way Eddie lifted his chin and gave a very placid smile didn't make Evan feel any better. He was practically shrugging off this news like he had said Maddie got a promotion rather than getting pregnant.

"That's good." Eddie cleared his throat and put the plates away before he started on the cutlery.

With a sigh, Evan dropped his shoulders and leaned one hand on the counter while his other hand moved to his hip. He leaned to the right, cocking his left hip out while he looked over a this boyfriend with a somewhat deflated expression.

Evan liked to celebrate news and he liked it when both his partners were as enthusiastic as him about good news like this or things he was excited about. And usually, he didn't have to worry about either Eddie or (Y/n) not reacting. They were always so understanding and bright and eager with him. Not barely coherent like this.

"What's wrong, aren't you happy for them?" He couldn't quite keep the hurt out of his voice, but he was glad when Eddie instantly shot him a look and fired back.

"Of course I am."

"You don't look it, Eddie. What's that face for?" He could read Eddie like a book. He knew that little shrug and the way his lips would form that thin line meant he wasn't so thrilled. He also knew that Eddie would curl his upper lip and bite his lower lip when he was trying not to say something he shouldn't or when he didn't agree with something.

Eddie shook his head and started to drop the knives and forks into the right places in the drawer, but he tried to keep his body facing Evan. He didn't want to fully turn his back on Evan and have his boyfriend think he was angry or trying to start a fight because he wasn't. Eddie really didn't want to start anything today.

"Nothing, it's great, okay."

"Eddie. I know something's gotten to you so just talk to me, please."

A deep breath stuttered past Eddie's lips when Evan's fingers delicately curled around his wrist and he tugged him away from the sink to capture his full attention. He watched the way Evan leaned closer and pecked his cheek while he pressed up against him so their chests were glued together and Evan was towering that little bit taller than him.

He wanted Eddie to open up. He didn't want him to bottle up his feelings and feel like he couldn't talk to Evan about anything. This was about family, Evan wasn't just going to turn around and ignore it when something was clearly bugging his partner.

"Is she going to be able to cope with another baby? If she suffers with postpartum depression again, will Maddie let any of us help? That's what's on my mind Buck, that's what's worrying me."

Each word was calculated and careful because Eddie didn't want to word it the wrong way and sound like a cruel bastard or like he was trying to have a go at Maddie or her integrity, that wasn't his intention. But he couldn't help but be worried about this.

Eddie had been there last time. He had been there for the aftermath. He had seen how broken Chimney was and how worried Evan had been about where his sister had gone because she didn't tell them. They had no idea whether she was okay or safe or not until she rang Evan once, weeks later.

And it was Eddie, (Y/n) and Evan who were left to look after Jee while Chimney juggled going to work and trying to find Maddie and bring her home. They were the ones who took Jee into their home for months and brought her up like they had triplets instead of twins. She became a foster child to them.

Tension rose in Evan's chest as apprehension flooded his veins and made his breathing become laboured.

He didn't want this conversation. He didn't want Eddie thinking like this. It wasn't right; they didn't need to be talking like this when it wasn't set in stone that Maddie might suffer with that condition a second time.

"She might not suffer with that again and if she does, we'll all be here for her-"

"That's not what I'm asking. I'm asking if she will let us, Buck. She had everyone around her last time and she left-"

"Hey, she had every reason to leave. She wasn't well Eddie and you know it."

Eddie hated the way Evan tilted his head at that angle and how his chest tensed and bubbled up like he was transforming into a different figure right before Eddie's eyes.

"Whatever."

Eddie clenched his hands into fists and turned his back on his boyfriend before he said something he shouldn't. If they were going to talk about this then Eddie wanted to talk, not argue. And he hated it when Evan cut him off and wouldn't let him finish. He got so defensive that he didn't even let Eddie explain, he stopped him because he didn't want to hear what Eddie had to say. But that wasn't how this worked.

He tried to carry on drying the pots but his hands were starting to shake too much so he tossed the tea towel and tried to leave the kitchen. It didn't work very well when Evan sidestepped into his path and stood in front of him like a boulder that wouldn't be moved.

"No, no it's not whatever. She's my sister, she's my family so if you have a problem with her, you tell me right now." The dark tone in Evan's voice made Eddie want to scream. He only liked that voice when Evan used it in the bedroom.

Getting snarky with Eddie right now wasn't going to do him any favours because Eddie was going to get just as riled up and upset as Evan.

But if Eddie had a problem with Maddie or this situation, Evan wanted to hear it and he wanted to air this problem out now. She was his big sister, she was like a mum to Evan and she was part of his world. Evan hated any of his family not getting along or being at odds with each other and it hurt worse to know his boyfriend had a problem with the person who raised him.

He watched the way Eddie took a step back and debated walking the other way around the kitchen to get out of the room, but he seemed to scrap that idea pretty quickly.

His shoulders rose up and his hands clenched into fists at his sides while his chin lifted almost defiantly so he could look up at Evan and square up to him so they were level.

"Alright. I get she's your sister, I know you love her, me and (Y/n) love her like a sister too. But you can't admit that Maddie was in the wrong with how she dealt with her depression. You and Chimney won't accept the possibility that her actions were unjustified and she hurt us all. If they want another baby that's great, really, but I'm not picking up the slack a second time, I'm telling you now."

The way Eddie pointed his finger right at Evan's chest near his collar bone made Evan's eyes go wild. Those deep blue iris's were swallowed up by dark pupils that expanded to the max. And Evan's lips pressed into a very thick pout as the veins in his neck started to throb and press up against his skin.

He did not just point a finger at him. He did not just make a jibe at Evan and his sister like that.

"Excuse me?" The guttural sound of Evan's voice almost made Eddie's knees go weak, if it weren't for the desperate need within him to get Evan to listen to him. For once.

Where Maddie was concerned, Evan wore blinkers. He saw only what he needed and wanted to see and if anyone tried to say one alternative word about her, Evan shut them down immediately. But he couldn't do that to Eddie or even to (Y/n). He couldn't shut his partners down, he had to hear them out and Evan was the one who demanded to have this conversation. He couldn't back out now when this was his choice, his demand.

"Buck, she could have told Chim or us that she needed a break, she could have told us she needed to go. We would of helped her, we would of come up with a plan or something, but no, she walked out on her own."

Everyone knew Chimney would have made her stay, he would have coaxed Maddie into staying in LA and maybe that would have worked. Maybe she could have gotten help here and stayed with everyone. But if she had been so adamant about leaving, she could have come to them. Evan would of helped her sort things out and prepare to leave to look after herself.

Eddie and (Y/n) would of supported her and made sure to help her and get her settled somewhere else. They would of found her a place to get help. She didn't have to run off without telling anyone and she didn't have to cut all contact with them and frighten them like she did.

Eddie could understand Maddie wasn't in the right frame of mind. But she had thought enough to make a video to explain to Chimney. She had been coherent enough to drop Jee off with (Y/n) and pack her things when no one was around and planned a place to go.

"She was sick! She was suicidal Eddie, she was frightened of hurting her baby and she knew she had to leave to look after herself. What if it had been (Y/n) in that position?"

Evan dreaded to think what would happen if (Y/n) had gotten into such a state of depression after having the twins that she felt like that. He would break if (Y/n) had been suicidal and tried to take her life the same as Maddie. And Evan would lose his heart if (Y/n) had left. He wasn't sure he would of helped (Y/n) leave if she needed to, but with Maddie it was different.

She had to go. She was so used to looking after herself and Evan, she was used to doing things by herself and taking care of things on her own. Asking for help wasn't what Maddie was used to, she was the one giving help, not receiving.

"No, we're not doing the what ifs." Eddie shook his head and pointed his hand again before he clasped both hands behind his head.

He deadlocked his fingers together at the back of his head and stuck his elbows out at the sides as he tried to take a deep breath. And when Evan moved closer, Eddie stepped back. He knew exactly how this conversation was going to go, but he didn't care. It needed to be said.

"Maddie came to our home, dumped Jee with (Y/n) and then left. Without explanation. Without a sorry or a word at all. We would of helped her, Chim might have stopped her but we wouldn't. (Y/n) was sick too! We had eight-month old twins and a sick girlfriend and Maddie left her kid with us. And you forgave her straight away. Maybe you can forgive and forget Buck, but I can't."

It hurt.

It hurt Eddie so much that Maddie had been forgiven. It took Eddie a long time to get that sibling-relationship back with Maddie because whenever he looked at her or Jee, he felt betrayal. He felt angry. He wanted to tell her how wrong she had been and how selfish she was for doing what she did, but Eddie could never do that.

He could never hurt Maddie like that because he cared too much, and he would never say those things to her directly and cause Evan that pain either. Because Evan would stick up for her and he too would feel betrayed. So Eddie kept it all bottled up.

"Eddie, she needed help. And if history repeated itself today, I'd understand her reasons again and again. She wasn't in her right mind and she did the right thing by leaving Jee with us rather than telling Chim and having him convince her to stay. There's three of us in this relationship, three people to help look after Jee-"

"She's not our responsibility! (Y/n) was struggling but she looked after Jee every fucking day. That little girl practically lived with us for five months. She cried when Maddie came back and she went back home with her and Chim. When she came to stay with us we ended up with triplets and you know it."

Eddie backed up into the counter and leaned his hands behind him to grip the edge and balance himself.

Jee had been with them for months. While Chimney tried to work, (Y/n) had Jee and the newborn practically moved in with them. Then when Chimney went in search of Maddie, Jee stayed with them again.

By the time the couple came home, Jee was already settled into a routine and a safe home with her uncles and her aunt. She didn't want to go home. She thought this was her home. When she came to stay with them, it felt like they had gone from twins to triplets with Chris and three little girls to look after, all similar in age. The twins were only a few months older than Jee.

Eddie still remembered how Jee cried when she left. That little toddler, reaching out for (Y/n) and screaming when she was taken away in the car.

He remembered that pain, and he remembered exactly how it broke (Y/n)'s heart. She had become attached to her niece. She had loved and cared for her every day for almost half a year, and then Jee was suddenly torn from her arms and taken back to her true home.

There was no way they were doing that again. Eddie wouldn't put his family through that heartache of looking after another baby and probably Jee too if Maddie started to become ill.

If she was sick or had depression or anything went wrong this time, it would be down to Chimney to sort it. Not Eddie's family.

"That's not fair." Evan's broken voice made tears well up in Eddie's eyes and he couldn't look at his boyfriend any longer without bursting into tears.

Both Evan's hands wavered at his sides as he dithered on whether to grab his hips or wave his hands in front of him or point the finger at Eddie like he had done a moment ago.

It wasn't fair to justify things like that. Evan would rather their niece come and stay with them than risk his sister struggling and taking her own life. And he would rather have Jee safe and settled with them than on the road with Chimney while he tried to find Maddie and bring her back home.

No part of this situation had been easy or straight forward, but it couldn't all be blamed on Maddie.

"What would you rather her do? She tried to kill herself Eddie."

The tears running down Evan's face made Eddie shake and he tipped his own head back and smothered his mouth with his hand so he didn't start to do the same.

"I- I would rather her tell us how she felt and let us get her help than leave the mess at our door like that."

Surely, Maddie could see that telling them what she was doing and asking for help would have been a far better choice. No one would have shamed her for how she felt. She had seen Evan through all his meltdowns and breakdowns growing up. She had witnessed (Y/n) in a few bad states. She had seen the aftermath of Eddie's breakdown and how he coped through that.

Did she think they would judge her? Did she think they wouldn't mind being given their niece out of the blue and left to wonder if she was dead or alive?

Moving both hands to his face, Eddie ran them up and down to try and stimulate his nerves and clear the tears from his eyes. He tried to calm himself down and gather some sense of composure so he could carry on this conversation that was heading south very quickly.

"Buck, we have three kids and another on the way. I can't come home to find (Y/n) on the verge of passing out with a bundle of kids to look after. Okay? I don't want Maddie to get caught up and afraid and drop another child on us because she realised a second too late that she can't cope."

When Maddie had her breakdown and left Jee with them, (Y/n) hadn't been well. She had a virus and was just getting over sepsis. She could barely take care of Chris and the twins. She had been extremely sick that day and when Eddie came home, he found (Y/n) in a bad state and his niece and all her things suddenly dumped in the living room.

They were having another baby themselves. What would happen if (Y/n) was home with all four kids and suddenly she had to take care of Jee and another newborn? They couldn't handle six kids in the house.

They couldn't take on Jee and another baby as responsibility if Maddie started to suffer again. Eddie needed to know that if Maddie needed help or she was suffering, that she would tell them and get help instead of running away from her family and responsibilities again.

"And I think my sister deserves the benefit of the doubt. How cruel would it be to start pretending that she can't cope or asking every five minutes if she's okay? We can't treat her like that, and she knows if she needs help she can tell us. She will."

Evan wouldn't do that. He wouldn't become one of those people.

He would not patronise his sister by constantly checking in to see if she was okay. He wouldn't hound her and ask if she was coping, if she was starting to feel under pressure or feel sick. Evan wasn't willing to become a hovering family member who was waiting, teethering on the edge expecting Maddie to fail.

If they all expected her to have a breakdown or suffer then it could push her into that state and that wasn't fair. No one deserved to be treated like that.

Maddie deserved to be treated just like she had been when she had Jee. Like any other, normal pregnant woman and then when she had the new baby, no one needed to wrap her in cotton wool. She needed to be treated the same way (Y/n) would be treated. With love and respect.

Eddie pushed off the counter and took a few daring steps closer to his boyfriend, now that they both seemed to have simmered down somewhat.

But before Eddie could say anything else, both their heads turned when they head footsteps.

For a moment, Eddie's heart jumped into his throat at the thought of it being Chris coming in. He knew Chris hated if any of them argued, it set him off into a meltdown. And if the girls heard they would start panicking or run over and cling to one of their parents to make them stop arguing.

But both men felt relieved when they realised it was (Y/n).

She was rubbing her hand across her temple in a way that indicated she still had a headache and didn't feel well. She could barely keep her eyes open and the grimace on her face told both her boys that she was coming down with some sort of illness.

She wandered into the kitchen barefoot which sent shivers running throughout her system when she stepped onto the cold tiled floor.

The bedroom felt as warm as the oven compared to the rest of the house and (Y/n) suddenly felt cold wearing only one of the boys lounge shirts and a pair of sleep shorts.

Her attire made both of them blank for a few moments as they forgot what they had been trying to say- and arguing about- when they focused on their girlfriend and what she was wearing. But (Y/n)'s confused frown and the way she inclined her head to one side brought them back to the moment.

"Why can I hear raised voices? What's going on?" (Y/n) folded both her arms on top of her bump and leaned her hips back against the kitchen island so she was facing both of them.

The way she rose a brow and kept her lips in a thin line told them she wasn't happy they were arguing about something. Especially when they hadn't told her before now that something was wrong and why they were in a mood with each other. Not to mention that Chris and the girls could hear them arguing, they couldn't make out what was being said but they knew the tone of their dad's voices and knew both of them weren't happy.

"Well?"

Eddie sighed and tipped his head forward before he looked back across at (Y/n). His hands fell to his hips and one knee jutted forward as he tried to think how to explain.

"Buck told me about Maddie. I'm as concerned for her as I am happy."

"Really?" Evan deadpanned with narrowed eyes and his arms folded over his chest in the same manner as (Y/n). He hated the way Eddie side-eyed him and grutned.

"Buck for God's sake I don't want to argue. I'm not saying they shouldn't have a kid, they're great parents I'm not judging. I just want Maddie to… to be prepared, I guess."

The way Eddie looked across at (Y/n) made her sink her teeth down into her lower lip and coil her arms tighter around her waist. She knew he was looking for validation and for her to agree with him and she didn't want to put herself in the middle of the boys when they were arguing. She didn't want to take sides or make this worse.

This was a tricky situation and a very hard thing to have a conversation about. Clearly both of them had been taking things the wrong way which had led to an argument.

"Don't tell me you think the same as Eddie, please. You saw how worried Maddie was to tell us today. She deserves a family and she deserves respect from us. We can't act like she's broken or worry all the time that she's gonna get ill again."

Evan reached his hand out and gripped (Y/n)'s arm as he moved to stand beside her. He couldn't take standing at odds with both of them and when (Y/n) didn't pull away from him, he looped his arm around her waist instead and leaned into her side.

"I know, if I was in her place I would hate to have people tread like that around me." Understanding flooded (Y/n)'s voice as she tilted her head back to look up at Evan.

She could see how horrid that would be for Maddie if people started to treat her like a broken doll or as if she were a ticking time bomb, set to go off at any moment. And if people expected her to fail or to run away a second time, it would make her feel like a failure before she'd even started and that wasn't fair or respectful towards her.

"I didn't want to cause a row, but I'm worried, okay?" Eddie moved his hands to his sides and dropped his shoulders.

He didn't want to row anymore, he just wanted to diffuse the situation and sit down with their family and see the kids. He didn't come home begging for a fight and he didn't expect to have an argument with Evan, he was sorry if he had started this.

"Can we all just be happy for them? It won't be the same as with Jee, it won't." The determination in Evan's voice was pleading yet loving at the same time and Eddie nodded.

But when Eddie looked across at (Y/n) to see why she wasn't saying anything, his heart picked up speed.

"Hey, hey, why the tears mi amor?"

Eddie moved to stand in front of (Y/n) and gently cupped her face in his hands and tilted her head back so she was looking up at him. His thumbs swiped across her cheekbones, collecting her tears to try and clean them away.

He could feel her trembling even as Evan shifted to let her back lean into his chest so he could curl his hands around her hips and press his lips to the back of her head.

Both men shared a look as the same worry popped into their mind. (Y/n) hadn't been feeling well today, was she suddenly feeling worse? Was there something wrong with the baby? But Evan couldn't feel her trembling and she wasn't creasing over with pains or saying she felt sick or she was in agony. So it couldn't really be the sickness she felt that was making her cry.

"I can't- if Maddie needs help again, I can't do what we did before, Evan. I can't raise Jee or another baby for months and then… then hand them over once Maddie's better. You don't know how much that hurt."

(Y/n) moved her hands to cup Eddie's wrists and she tried to look up behind her to look at Evan.

She understood. She knew where he was coming from and she wasn't going to hover around Maddie or make her feel incompetent. But if Maddie struggled again, (Y/n) agreed with Eddie, she had to let them help or find some proper help. (Y/n) couldn't take in Jee or a new baby and care for them the way they did last time.

"Baby, it hurt us too when she left-"

"You know when Maddie asked if we wanted Jee for the weekend, and I kept saying no?" Her breaths shuddered and she leaned her cheek into Eddie's hand to try and rid the few tears she was still shedding.

Both of them nodded and shared a look. They knew what she was talking about. When Jee was a toddler, after being back home for a while, Maddie asked if they wanted Jee over for a sleepover, to see Chris and the twins. (Y/n) didn't exactly explain to the boys while she kept saying no. They knew she wasn't telling the whole truth when she said she was busy or not feeling up to having another kid running round the house since they already had three.

Most of the time, the twins ended up going over to Maddie and Jee for a sleep over. It took a while until (Y/n) finally agreed and Jee started staying over with them every now and then, and Eddie and Evan never probed why. They suspected that maybe having Chris and two toddlers was hard enough without looking after Jee too.

"I said no, because Jee started to call me mummy, and- and I couldn't tell Maddie that. I couldn't hurt her like that. We raised her, and that confused her when she had to go home. I can't do that again."

Tears streaked down (Y/n)'s face and she started to tremble when she felt how tense Evan was behind her and how his hands tightened around her hips so much he was starting to bruise her skin. And when she looked up at Eddie, she saw the devastation in his eyes.

She tilted her head back when she felt Evan move. He didn't let go of her or move very far, but he tilted his head back like he was staring up at the ceiling and (Y/n) saw the tears trickling down his face as he tried not to burst into tears.

She hadn't told them that before.

(Y/n) couldn't tell them. She knew if she told Eddie, he would get angry. He would be furious that poor Jee had become so attached to living with them that she thought she was one of their kids. He had never argued Jee living with them, Eddie always agreed she needed a stable home and they could care for her, but it had clearly been for too long and at such a vital time in her life.

If they cared for her now, while she was three, she would have more comprehension. She would know she was staying with her aunt and uncles. But being so young and impressionable when she stayed with them made her confused.

And (Y/n) knew if she told Evan he would break down. He loved Jee almost like she was one of their girls and he felt he had to look after and protect her while Maddie had been unwell and Chimney was desperately trying to help her and bring her home.

"Oh baby," Eddie continued to brush his thumbs across (Y/n)'s face while he leaned closer until he could press his wet lips to her temple.

That made sense, now. Both men could see why (Y/n) denied Jee stopping over. She wanted Jee to have more stability and she didn't want to risk breaking her own heart if Jee accidentally called her 'mum' again.

And how could (Y/n) tell Maddie that? How could she explain that she couldn't care for her niece too often because she started to believe (Y/n) was her mum? That would completely crush Maddie's heart and it could have sent her into a relapse of depression or into another breakdown.

It would have complicated things between them all and (Y/n) couldn't risk doing that.

"That won't happen again. I won't let things get that bad, I swear, I swear to both of you that it won't be like that."

Evan let go of (Y/n)'s hip so he could stretch his arm out and grip Eddie's bicep and reel him in closer. He kissed the back of (Y/n)'s head again and again before leaning over to peck Eddie's temple. He tried to hold them both as close as he could until (Y/n) was safely encased between them and he had both of them in his arms.

He wouldn't let anything like that happen again. He would try and make sure Maddie opened up to them if she needed to. He would keep an eye on her. If she needed help, Evan would make sure she got help, they all would.

And Evan wouldn't let the same situation happen again. They wouldn't have to take Jee and or a new baby into their home and care for them. They wouldn't get caught up in something like that again.

Maddie and Chimney would have their baby, and Evan, (Y/n) and Eddie would have theirs.

#imagine #911 imagine #evan buckley #eddie diaz x reader #evan buckley x reader #pregnant! reader #evan buckley imagine #buck x reader #buck imagine #eddie diaz imagine #eddie x reader #eddie diaz family #eddie diaz #buddie x reader #buck x eddie

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jeonsblackgf-writes · 16 hours ago

Text

Brat Tamer | JJ Maybank

summary: You underestimate JJ when it comes to sex

pairing: JJ Maybank x black!readee

word count: 7,942

warnings: unprotected sex, oral sex (m&f), face slapping, rough sex

AN: I’m high yall so when I started writing i literally could not stop .. and now here we are! REQUESTS ARE OPEN

________________

The summer heat was stifling, heavy enough to make tempers flare. But you didn’t sweat—ever. Not physically, not metaphorically. It didn’t matter if it was the middle of July in the Outer Banks or someone testing your patience—you stayed cool.

Today was no exception. You sat at your usual table on The Wreck’s patio, long legs crossed and nails tapping against your lemonade glass. Freshly manicured, your nails caught the sunlight in a way that was impossible to ignore. The poor waiter had already tried twice to get your drink order right, but still, the lemonade didn’t taste like what you asked for.

“Listen, baby,” you said, your voice syrupy-sweet but laced with edge. “How hard is it to add strawberries? I know y’all got ‘em. I can see them behind the counter.”

The boy stammered something about checking again, and you waved him off, exhaling in annoyance. “Can’t find good help no more,” you muttered, leaning back in your chair.

Across the patio, JJ Maybank lounged in his seat, sunglasses sliding down his nose as he tilted his head to watch you. He wasn’t subtle. That amused grin tugging at his lips wasn’t, either.

“She’s somethin’ else,” JJ said, low enough for only Pope to hear.

You caught him staring, though. You always caught them staring. But JJ didn’t look away like most people did when you locked eyes with them. No, he leaned into it, smirking like he knew something about you that you didn’t.

You let it slide for now, but when the waiter returned with your drink, still wrong, your patience hit zero. “You know what?” you said, voice sharp as the click of your heels as you stood. “Forget it. I’ll make it myself.”

You stalked toward the bar, every step calculated, hips swaying just enough to make sure everyone knew you were somebody. On your way, though, you couldn’t resist stopping at JJ’s table, your shadow falling across him.

“You got somethin’ you wanna say, or are you just gon’ keep gawkin’ like a lost puppy?” Your words were pointed, but your tone was teasing, a challenge wrapped in silk.

JJ slid his sunglasses off, eyes a piercing blue that raked over you slowly, boldly. “Maybe I’m just waitin’ for you to bite first.”

That made you pause. You leaned closer, close enough to catch the faint scent of his cologne and whatever mischief was brewing in those eyes of his. “Boy, you couldn’t handle it if I did.”

“Try me,” he said, voice dropping just enough to make your stomach tighten.

You studied him for a beat longer than you meant to, then tilted your head, a slow smirk spreading across your lips. “Cute,” you said, straightening and taking a step back. “But I don’t do charity cases.”

JJ chuckled, low and gravelly, as you walked away. “Keep tellin’ yourself that, princess. We’ll see how long that lasts.”

You didn’t stop, but you tossed a look over your shoulder, the curve of your smile enough to keep him hooked. “Don’t hold your breath, Maybank.”

But as you made your way behind the bar, the heat wasn’t just from the summer sun anymore.

The sun was setting now, casting the Outer Banks in golden light, but JJ Maybank wasn’t about to let you go that easily. Something about the way you dismissed him—like he wasn’t worth your time—lit a fire in him.

You weren’t his usual type. You were high maintenance, all diamonds and designer sandals. The kind of girl who expected the world handed to her on a platter. But damn, if you weren’t intriguing. Sharp tongue, sharp wit, and sharp enough to cut through his charm like a knife.

He stood up from his table, sliding his hands into his pockets as he watched you behind the bar, instructing the staff like you were running the place. Maybe you were. He wouldn’t put it past you.

When you turned, you spotted him leaning against the bar, watching. You rolled your eyes. “What now, Maybank?”

“Didn’t think you’d notice,” he said, grinning as he stepped closer. “Figured you were too busy bossin’ everyone around.”

“Someone’s gotta do it,” you shot back, resting your forearms on the counter. You tilted your head, meeting his gaze without a shred of hesitation. “Now, you followin’ me, or you just lost?”

JJ leaned in, closing the distance between you until your faces were inches apart. His voice dropped low, just for you. “Maybe I’m both.”

You blinked, your composure slipping for half a second before you masked it with a scoff. “Cute. But if you’re lookin’ for a handout, you’re barkin’ up the wrong tree.”

He smirked, catching the faint crack in your facade. “Who said anything about a handout? Maybe I just like a challenge.”

“You? A challenge?” You laughed, leaning back, but your pulse betrayed you. He was too close, his presence electric, and you hated that it was working. “Boy, please.”

JJ’s eyes traveled down to your lips before snapping back to your eyes. “Keep tellin’ yourself that, princess. But you’re the one still talkin’ to me.”

You opened your mouth to fire back, but nothing came out. He had you, just for a second, and he knew it. That smirk widened, lazy and confident.

Before you could regain the upper hand, JJ stepped back, breaking the tension just enough to leave you wanting more. “Enjoy your drink,” he said, turning on his heel and sauntering away, his swagger as cocky as ever.

You stayed where you were, blinking, wondering how the hell you let him get the last word. But as you watched him disappear into the crowd, you felt it—that little spark of curiosity burning hotter than you wanted to admit.

JJ Maybank had your attention, and that was dangerous. For both of you.

The night rolled in, and the soft glow of fairy lights strung around The Wreck gave the place a dreamy vibe. You stayed longer than you planned, sitting at your table and letting the warm breeze dance over your skin. If you were honest with yourself, you were waiting.

Waiting to see if JJ Maybank had the audacity to come back.

You didn’t have to wait long.

“Thought you might still be here,” his voice drawled from behind you.

You glanced over your shoulder, arching a brow. He stood there with his hands in his pockets, his T-shirt clinging to him in all the right ways, his hair tousled like he’d just rolled out of trouble.

“And what if I am?” you asked, turning back to your drink and swirling the straw lazily.

JJ took it as an invitation, sliding into the seat across from you like he owned it. “Figured you’d want some company. Can’t be easy keepin’ up that mean girl act all by yourself.”

You smirked, shaking your head. “Oh, trust, I’m not actin’.”

“That so?” He leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that made your breath hitch. “Could’ve fooled me.”

The way he looked at you wasn’t casual. It was deliberate, like he was daring you to react. And as much as you hated to admit it, you liked it.

“You must be real bored,” you said, leaning back and crossing your legs. “Or just desperate. I can’t decide which one’s worse.”

JJ chuckled, low and rough. “Maybe I’m just curious.”

“‘Bout what?”

“‘Bout you,” he said simply. “You act like you got it all figured out, but I think you like pushin’ people away just to see who’s stupid enough to stick around.”

The words hit harder than you expected, but you didn’t let it show. Instead, you leaned in, lowering your voice. “And you think you’re stupid enough?”

He smirked, his eyes dropping to your lips for a split second before meeting your gaze again. “I think I can handle you.”

“Boy I’ll break you,” you scoffed, laughing softly. “You couldn’t handle half of me.”

“I dunno,” he said, his voice dropping, rougher now. “You seem like the kind of girl who likes seein’ people try.”

You stared at him, your stomach flipping in a way you hadn’t felt in a long time. He wasn’t wrong. You liked the game, liked the power it gave you. But this wasn’t just any guy trying to impress you. JJ was playing your game and flipping the rules, making you wonder if you could keep up.

Before you could respond, he reached across the table, brushing his fingers against the back of your hand. It wasn’t much, just a light touch, but it sent a jolt through you.

“You feel that?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

You didn’t pull your hand away. You didn’t say anything. But the heat between you was undeniable, sparking in the space neither of you dared to cross just yet.

“Good,” JJ said after a beat, leaning back with a satisfied grin. “Means I’m gettin’ somewhere.”

You rolled your eyes, snatching your hand away and shaking your head. “Keep dreamin’, Maybank.”

But you didn’t leave. Neither did he. And somewhere in the back of your mind, you knew this wasn’t over.

The tension hung heavy between you and JJ, crackling like a live wire. You told yourself you were just bored, letting him hang around for entertainment. But deep down, you knew better.

He leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, his smirk firmly in place as if he knew exactly what he was doing to you. And maybe he did.

“So, what’s your deal, princess?” JJ asked, breaking the silence.

“My deal?” You arched a brow, stirring your drink as if you weren’t fazed. “What’s yours? What’s a Pogue like you doing sniffin’ around Figure Eight?”

He grinned, the kind of grin that said he didn’t care what you thought of him. “Maybe I just like a challenge.”

“Or maybe you don’t know when you’re out of your depth,” you shot back, tilting your head.

JJ chuckled, leaning forward again. “See, that’s where you’re wrong. I think you like that about me. You’re used to all those Kook boys doing whatever you say. Bet you don’t know what to do with someone who doesn’t play by your rules.”

You stared at him, your lips pressing into a line. He wasn’t wrong, but you’d never admit that. Instead, you let a slow, teasing smile curve your lips. “And you think you’re that someone?”

He held your gaze, his blue eyes piercing. “I know I am.”

The confidence in his voice made your stomach flip. You leaned closer, your faces inches apart now, your voice dropping to a whisper. “Boy, I could ruin you without even trying.”

“Do it,” he said, the challenge thick in his tone. “I dare you.”

The air between you felt suffocating, your heart pounding so loud you swore he could hear it. His eyes flicked down to your lips, and for a split second, you wondered what it would feel like. You were a different breed, JJ would have his dick tucked, crying back to his friends if you got a hold of him

You could feel the heat between you intensify, like everything around you faded out, leaving just the two of you in this charged moment. His gaze flicked down to your lips again, and you caught your breath, heart pounding as the words left your lips before you could stop them.

“Don’t tempt me, Maybank,” you murmured, the edge of your voice betraying the control you were trying to hold onto.

JJ’s grin didn’t falter. If anything, it only deepened. “Then maybe you need to be reminded of how good it feels when someone calls your bluff. Maybe those kook boys don’t fuck you good enough, but me? I’ll fuck you just right.”

Your hand twitched, the urge to push him away—or pull him closer—fighting for dominance. But you stayed still, your breath shallow as you stared at him, a slow burn crawling beneath your skin. The space between you seemed to close with each passing second, and you fought the impulse to give in. To give him what he wanted.

He leaned forward, so close now that his breath was warm against your cheek. “I know you feel it, too. That thing between us. Don’t act like you don’t.”

You took a slow breath, the sharpness in your tone returning as you shoved the fire creeping up in your chest down. “You’re right,” you said, voice quieter now. “I feel it. But don’t get it twisted, Maybank. This little game of yours? It’s gonna cost you.”

JJ’s eyes sparkled with a mix of amusement and something darker. He leaned in just a little more, his lips brushing your ear as he whispered, “I’m counting on it, princess.”

You froze. The tension was unbearable now, and for the first time, you felt that little bit of control slipping. But you weren’t about to let him see that. Not yet.

You pulled back quickly, putting a few inches of space between you, eyes narrowing as you gave him a look that said you wouldn’t back down. “You talk a big game, but can you actually keep up?”

JJ’s smirk never wavered, the cocky confidence radiating from him. “We’ll find out, won’t we?” He stood up, slowly, never taking his eyes off you. “I’ll see you around, princess.”

As he walked away, you watched him, heart pounding in your chest, a mix of frustration and desire swirling inside you. The game was only just beginning, and you weren’t sure who would end up winning. But one thing was clear—he wasn’t going anywhere, and neither were you.

The days that followed were a blur of half-hearted attempts to focus on anything else. You were used to getting what you wanted, on your terms. But ever since JJ Maybank had come into your life, it was like everything shifted just a little. He was everywhere. The way he looked at you, the way he challenged you—it made your head spin.

You weren’t used to this.

It was a warm afternoon when you found yourself back at The Wreck, seated at your usual spot with a drink in hand, waiting for your friends. You told yourself you were just there for a good time, not to see if JJ would show up again. But as the minutes ticked by, you found your eyes wandering to the front door with the hope that he’d walk through it.

And, of course, he did.

JJ strolled in with that same lazy swagger, looking like he’d just stepped out of a beachside magazine shoot. He scanned the room, and for a second, his eyes locked onto yours. You narrowed your eyes at him, giving him the cold shoulder, trying to maintain some semblance of control.

But you couldn’t ignore the way his lips twitched when he saw you.

Without breaking eye contact, he made his way over to your table, sliding into the seat across from you without asking. His grin was cocky as ever. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

You raised an eyebrow, leaning back in your chair. “And what? You think I’m just gonna follow you around now?”

“I think you can’t stay away,” he said smoothly, his voice dropping a little lower. “I think you like the game. And you’re not ready to let me win yet.”

You huffed, trying to mask the little flutter in your chest. “Keep dreamin’, Maybank.”

But he didn’t back off. Instead, his gaze slid over you, slowly, deliberately, making your pulse quicken. He was testing you, and you weren’t about to give him the satisfaction of knowing how much he affected you.

“I’m not dreamin’, princess,” he said softly, his voice almost too low for anyone else to hear. “I’m just enjoyin’ the view.”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut. You felt your cheeks flush, but you kept your face neutral, refusing to give him any indication that his words had landed. Instead, you leaned forward, your lips curving into a playful smirk.

“Is that so? You sure you’re not just tryin’ to get under my skin?”

JJ’s smirk widened, and for the briefest moment, you saw something more in his eyes—a flicker of something deeper. But it was gone before you could name it. He leaned in, mirroring your posture, his face only inches from yours.

“I think it’s working,” he said, voice thick with something dangerous. “Don’t try to pretend you don’t feel it.”

Your breath hitched, but you refused to back down. “I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”

JJ’s gaze flicked to your lips before meeting your eyes again. “You don’t have to admit it, princess. But I know you’re just as interested as I am.”

You stood quickly, your chair scraping back as you leaned over the table, the distance between you vanishing in an instant. “You don’t know a damn thing about me, Maybank.”

His smile didn’t falter. He leaned forward just enough to close the gap, his lips barely brushing against your ear as he spoke. “Maybe I’m just waitin’ for you to show me, then.”

The electric tension that shot through your body in that moment was undeniable. Your heart raced, pulse throbbing in your ears. You hated how much you wanted him—how much you wanted to break and let him win.

But you didn’t.

Instead, you pulled away, your composure returning as you straightened up. “Nice try, but I don’t do charity cases.”

JJ laughed low and easy, sitting back in his chair, his eyes never leaving you. “We’ll see about that, princess.”

You walked away, but this time, you didn’t feel the relief you usually did. You knew something had shifted, and you couldn’t deny the pull toward him any longer.

And, somehow, you didn’t want to.

It was getting harder to ignore the pull, the way JJ seemed to be everywhere you went, always so damn close. The chemistry was undeniable, and every interaction felt like an unspoken dare. But the game was far from over. You weren’t about to let him think he had you figured out just yet.

But you also couldn’t help the way your body responded when he was near. Every time he got close, you could feel it—this electric charge between you that made it hard to breathe. You didn’t know whether to run or lean in, but you sure as hell weren’t going to make it easy for him.

It was late one evening when you finally cracked.

The Wreck was quieter than usual, the late-night crowd thinned out, leaving the place with a calm, almost intimate atmosphere. You were sitting at the bar, swirling your drink in your hands, letting your thoughts drift. That’s when you felt the familiar presence.

You didn’t need to turn around to know it was JJ. You could feel him, his eyes on you, drawing you in even from across the room.

“Couldn’t stay away?” he asked, his voice smooth, almost too confident.

You looked up at him, keeping your expression neutral. “What do you want, Maybank?”

He slid onto the stool next to you, close enough that you could feel the heat from his body radiating into yours. “I told you, I’m just curious. Still don’t think you can handle it?” His tone was teasing, but there was something else lurking beneath it—something darker.

You narrowed your eyes at him, the temptation to let your guard down almost overwhelming. “I’m sure you don’t know the meaning of the word ‘handle,’” you shot back, though your words were laced with more heat than you cared to admit.

“Think I don’t?” He leaned in closer, his voice lowering, sending a shiver through you. “I can handle you. I think that’s exactly why you keep tryin’ to push me away.”

You looked at him, eyes locking. The intensity between you was suffocating, the kind of tension that had been building between you for days now. There was no going back.

Without thinking, you slid off your stool, standing right in front of him, so close you could feel the heat from his body envelop you. “Don’t try to act like you know me, JJ,” you said, voice steady despite the wild pounding of your heart. “You couldn’t handle a girl like me.”

His eyes darkened, lips parting slightly as he leaned in, not giving you any space to escape. “I think I could.” His voice was a growl, a soft challenge hanging in the air between you.

Your breath caught in your throat, and for a moment, you almost couldn’t breathe. The way he was looking at you, the way his body was just inches from yours—it was too much, and yet, you wanted more.

He reached for your wrist, gently pulling you closer. You could feel the calloused warmth of his hand against your skin, a contrast to the softness of your own. “I’m not some Kook who’s gonna back down,” he whispered, his lips brushing your ear as he spoke. “I’ll push you until you can’t stand it. Until you beg for mercy.” He licked your ear.

You swallowed, your chest rising and falling with each breath, your heart a wild mess in your chest. You wanted to fight him, wanted to say something, anything, to push him away. But it was hard to find the words when everything in you screamed to just give in.

Instead, you pushed him back, just slightly, your voice barely a whisper. “You better be ready for the consequences.”

JJ’s lips curled into that familiar smirk, the one that said he was already three steps ahead. “I’m counting on it.”

Without another word, he let you go, standing up slowly and walking toward the door, leaving you breathless in his wake.

You stood there for a long moment, struggling to collect yourself. But something inside you knew you weren’t done with him. Neither of you were. The line had been crossed.

And you both knew there was no going back.

It had been weeks since that night, and the tension between you and JJ hadn’t let up. If anything, it had only grown. There were still moments when you’d catch him looking at you with that cocky grin, like he knew something you didn’t, and then there were moments when he’d be all too serious, like he was trying to figure you out.

But tonight? Tonight was different.

Your friends had dragged you out to a house party on the outskirts of the Outer Banks. The house was packed with Kooks and Pogues, loud music blaring from the speakers, people laughing and dancing like the world didn’t exist beyond this moment. You told yourself you were just here for the fun, to forget about everything else for a while. But you couldn’t stop thinking about him.

JJ Maybank was the last person you wanted to see tonight. And the first person you were hoping would show up.

You had been making your way through the crowd when you saw him—standing in the corner, drink in hand, with that same lazy confidence he wore like armor. His hair was slightly damp from the heat of the room, his shirt clinging to his chest, and that smirk? It was there, as if he knew exactly what kind of effect he had on you.

You paused, watching him for a beat. It was almost like he was waiting for you to come to him.

You didn’t give him the satisfaction. Not yet.

Instead, you found your friends and tried to lose yourself in the chaos, but it didn’t take long before JJ was on your radar again. You could feel his eyes on you, and every time you turned around, he was closer, moving through the crowd like he owned the place.

Finally, you couldn’t take it anymore. You had been avoiding him long enough.

“Hey, princess,” JJ’s voice was low and smooth, right behind you, sending a shiver down your spine.

You turned, almost too quickly, your eyes locking with his. “What do you want, Maybank?” You tried to keep your voice steady, but the way his gaze slid over you made your chest tighten.

“I was gonna ask you the same thing,” he said, his tone teasing, but there was something else in it—something deeper. “But I think I already know the answer.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Yeah? What’s that?”

JJ grinned, stepping closer, his body just a few inches away from yours now. The air between you was thick with tension, like a magnet pulling you toward him whether you liked it or not. “You’re thinking about me.” His eyes dropped to your lips, just for a second, before meeting your gaze again. “Aren’t you?”

Your heart skipped a beat, and you hated that it was so obvious. But you weren’t going to let him win so easily. “Not as much as you think, Maybank,” you said, though your voice was a little less convincing than you intended.

JJ chuckled, a sound that made your stomach tighten. “You keep lying to yourself, princess. But you can’t lie to me.”

You tried to step back, but JJ’s hand shot out, gripping your wrist gently. “You don’t have to fight it anymore. I know you want this.”

The feel of his hand on your skin was like fire, and the tension that had been building for weeks came crashing down in an instant. You stood there, staring at him, your pulse racing.

“I don’t have to fight anything, Maybank,” you whispered, leaning in just enough so your lips were barely brushing his. “But don’t think you’ve won yet.”

JJ’s smirk grew, and for a second, it was almost too much to handle. He leaned in, lips grazing your ear as he whispered, “Oh, princess. We both know I’ve already won. You just don’t wanna admit it.”

You should’ve pushed him away. You should’ve said something—anything—to end this before it went too far. But you didn’t. Instead, you found yourself leaning into him, your body betraying you once again.

“Let’s get out of here,” he said, his voice low and commanding. “I think we both need a little privacy.”

The offer was tempting, too tempting. You knew the consequences, knew where this could go. But at that moment, you didn’t care. You weren’t ready to stop, not yet.

Without saying another word, you let him lead you through the crowd and upstairs, your hands brushing against each other, sending a jolt of electricity through your body.

JJ had this way of making everything else disappear, and the only thing that mattered was the feeling of his hand in yours, the pull between you two undeniable.

As you stepped inside a random room, the cool night air from an open window hit you, but you didn’t feel cold—not with him so close.

He turned to you, his hand sliding to your waist, pulling you closer. His eyes locked with yours, the playful smirk replaced by something more intense, more real. “You’re not gonna regret this,” he murmured.

Your heart was hammering in your chest, and every inch of you screamed to step back. But all you could do was nod, your voice barely a whisper. “I already am.”

JJ’s lips curled into a grin, and without another word, he kissed you.

The kiss was all fire—fierce, hungry, and urgent. You could feel everything in that moment: the heat of his body against yours, the way his hands roamed, pulling you even closer. Your mind screamed at you to stop, but your body didn’t care.

“JJ..” you whispered, as his hand urgently went all over your body, tilting you head back as he started to place wet, open mouth kisses on your neck.

“I know baby…I know.” He whispered, as he started to take your clothes off one by one.

Wanting to have control, you pushed him onto the bed, a grunt escaping his lips as he watched you run your manicured hands along his thighs, that siren look in your eyes, making him wait to cum in that moment. Without another word, you bit onto your lip, as you watched yourself zip his pants down, him helping you get him out of his jeans, leaving him only in his drawers.

“Remember when I said you couldn’t handle me?” You asked him, seductively. JJ gave you a small chuckle and nodded his head. You hummed, looking at him as you stuck your tongue out, running it along the outside of his plaid boxers, a moan falling from his lips as his back fell onto the bed. You licked again, this time slower, and harder.

“Jesus..do something.” he groaned, looking at you again as you kept licking the base of his dick in a teasing manner. The music from the party was still going loud so if anywhere were to hear you, they would be listening to damn hard.

“What do you want me to do baby? Talk to me.” You spoke, pulling his dick out from the pee hole. It was red, very red, and pre-cum was leaking from the tip so you did what any girl would do and licked the pre cum from his dick before taking his entire tip into your mouth, making sure that your mouth was wet, before abruptly stopping, JJ’s eyes popping open, almost scowling at you.

“What happened to you putting me in my place? Guess you just like every other kook den huh white boy.” You teased, giving his tip another soft lick.

Your words must’ve ignited something inside him, because he immediately reached forward and gripped your neck, catching you off guard. It wasn’t enough to kill you but enough to stop a little air flow. He leaned close, until your lips were barely touching.

“I’ve tried to play by your stupid ass rules. You’re gonna see why those kook idiots could never handle a girl like you like I can.”

You were suddenly thrown on the bed, JJ growling in the process. He immediately started to discard your clothes, not wasting any more time and not giving you a second to say a thing. He looked at your underwear and smirked.

“Matching set huh? How’d you know my favorite color pretty girl?” He asked, leaning down to rub his hands along your neck, wrapping both his hands around it before running them along your chest slowly, feeling it ride up and down quickly as he continued to move down to your breasts. He smiled at you before opening your legs and getting in between them properly. He continued to rub, going along your sides and your stomach, truly admiring your soft brown skin, before stopping right where he wanted to. The party on the other side was long forgotten.

“That’s a coincidence. You ain’t nobody special boo.” You retorted, despite the vulnerable position. You mouth would never let up, and he knew that.

JJ smiled, almost as if he were taking you for a joke, as he started to pull your underwear off. “Okay baby.”

With your panties gone, he finally got a chance to get a good look at what he had been thinking about so much. It was like watching a kid get his favorite toy. Your pretty legs were wide and welcoming, your pussy leaking, almost as if it were fucking fake.

He was in awe, he had never seen anything so pretty. Not only were you fucking soaking, you had a fat fucking pussy, a fucking perfect, and he would’ve came in his pants right then and there if he didn’t wanna eat you so bad.

He took one long sniff and moaned loud, almost catching you off guard. Nobody had ever done that.

“You smell so fucking good mama , can’t wait to eat you til you cry…” He whispered, placing open mouth kisses on your plump thighs, holding a tight grip on them. He licked the space between your right thigh and your pussy, causing you to gasp and bite your lip “You talked so much shit I swear to god I’m gonna make you regret agreeing to let me have you.”

Part of you was scared of that statement, not knowing what he truly meant, but you knew you were about to find out.

“Such a pretty pussy..” He whispered against your lips, slurping and sucking on your clit until he pulled it into his mouth and let it go. You let out a loud whine as your back arched against the bed, trying to close your legs from the immense pleasure but JJ growled and snapped your legs firmly back in place, watching your facial expression as he sucked your clit harder, shaking his head into your sopping wet folds.

“What were you saying? About me not being able to handle you?” He asked against your lips. Before you could answer, he placed his lips back on your clit, sucking harder and harder until you were pushing his head off you, not like he’ll let you. As his sucking continued, he added two fingers into your pussy, slowly fingering you as he watched you unfold. His mission was to make you come at least two times. That way, you never stop wanting more.

JJ flattened his tongue on your clit, and set rubbing circles, using his tongue, enjoying the feeling of your clit throbbing against him. You moaned, almost too loudly, pushing his head into your waxed pussy.

“Fuck yourself on daddy’s tongue. Give me that nut baby.” He rasped, allowing you to move your hips against his mouth, letting you use him any way you wanted. He was eating your pussy better than any guy you had come across.

“Fuckkkkkk JJ, Im gonna come.” You cried, gasping loudly as he sucked your clit harder. Your vision going white as you came, not realizing the liquid that came out of you. When you came down, youopened your eyes to see JJ looking at you like you were a prized possession.

“I just made you squirt…”

You widened your eyes, but before you could say anything, his mouth was back on you for the second time and you almost choked on your moan from how sensitive you were, but he didn’t care. He had a point to prove.

JJ slide two fingers into you, and started fingering you hard, and fast. Not caring about how loud you were, JJ watched as you continued to let out the most beautiful moans he had ever heard, and he wanted to heard more. He moved up to your mouth, placing his lips on yours but not giving you a full kiss. His ego got bigger as he watched your eyes twitch before they rolled in the back of your head.

“Hey hey..eyes on me or I’ll stop. I need two more baby, two more and I’ll think about taking it easy on you.” He whispered, his eyes never leaving yours, his lips finally found yours. You pulled your top down, pinching and playing with your breasts as you kissed him

He swallowed your moans, his fingers never letting up as you unraveled even more. He knew you were still sensitive, but you were so adamant and couldn’t stop running your mouth. It was his mission to give you what you been asking for. He tilted his head, pushing his tongue into your mouth, letting you suck on it before pulling it away, biting your bottom lip and letting it go. You were drunk off him and he hadn’t even fucked you yet. He gripped your face in his hands, squeezing your jaw to open it as he spat a big glob on spit into your mouth, smiling as he watched you swallow it and smile at him with your tongue out. You were a fucking freak. And he was going to take advantage of every minute of it.

JJ pulled away, but kept fingering you as he looked you in your face, watching even facial expression you make.

“Gimme another one, Gush on my fingers baby, I need it.” He whispered, fingering you harder, watching you writhe under him. He leaned down and took one of you nipples into his mouth, sucking and biting on the brown nub until you were a whining mess under him. He smiled against you.

“You talk all that bullshit, but look at you. A bitch for my fingers. A pogue. Wonder what your friends would think if they saw you.” He teased, slowly moving his fingers, his thumb rubbing at your clit harshly.

You smirked slowly, “What I do ain’t nobody business but mine, welcome to the roster big daddy.” You whispered, almost like a moan,

The way you were reacting to him made him want to do unimaginable things to you. He knew he had to really give it to you. You had too much mouth, never had anyone to put you in your fucking place. Tonight that changes, and JJ could give a fuck if anybody hears.

“Keep talking to me like that. It just makes me more eager to fuck you up mama. After I’m done with you, there won’t be a roster.” He replied, pinching your nipple, making you squeak.

He quickly pulled his fingers out of your pussy and shoved them in your mouth, making you suck them. You moaned, silently thanking yourself for your good hygiene. Your tongue moved slowly in between his fingers, moving from one finger to suck, and then the next, making sure you stick your tongue out to lick up his finger slowly as he watched you, biting his lip.

“You’re a fucking slut.” He laughed, pulling his fingers away and pushing you back on the bed. “But i’m not done with you.”

JJ’s then went back to your pussy, slurping on your juices as loud as he could as you shook under his touch, hold his head with both your hands as you thrusted into his mouth, biting your lip. He moaned against you, letting you use him as your thrusts started to get rougher.

“Fuck fuck fuckkkkk, I’m gonna fucking cum.” You cried, your face scrunched up in pleasure, using the same hand to hold him close to push him back, but he grabbed both hands and did his face in deeper, as you screamed, squirting on his dick.

“Stop running, or i’ll fuck you until you pass out.” He growled, before moving your legs up high, “Hold your legs up.”

You did as told, watch as he went from your pussy to your ass, suck on the rim. You gasped, from both pleasure and shock, watching as he went to town on your asshole, using his tongue to push past your rim, fucking your rim slowly. With you holding your legs up, rubbed your clit with one hand and pushed four fingers into your pussy with the other, thrusting aggressively

“Tell me how good i’m making you feel or i’ll stop right now and leave you right here.” He growled, sucking at the puckered hole, his hands still moving. Before you could say anything, you let out a loud gasped as you arched your back off the bed, squirting around JJ’s hands. Your legs shook violently as you came.

“Guess that said enough.” He laughed. “Suck my dick and I’ll think about giving you some dick mama.”

You said nothing, as you sat up and got in front of the bed, letting JJ move back to give you some space. You got on your knees and began rubbing his thighs, looking up at him with a drunk smile as he ran his hand across your cheek, before trialing up to your braids and gripping them hard. He used his other hand to hold his dick and guide it to your mouth, not giving you a chance to adjust to the size and length of his dick before he started thrusting into your mouth, Luckily for you, you give extremely good head, and adjusted quick, getting your mouth wet as he trusted in and out harshly. You wrapped your lips around his dick, watching as he hung his mouth open and let out a loud groan before taking his lip into his mouth and looking down at you as you looked up at him, tears in your eyes. It was the sexiest thing he had ever seen.

JJ gripped your hair with both hands now, thrusting even harder into your mouth until he couldn’t reach anymore, smirking as he watched you take his rough he was being. Your eyes looking up at him was the sexiest thing he had ever seen. He was looking foward to ruining you.

Before JJ could come, he pulled you off of him, leaning down to pick you up, and throw you right back on the bed, and turning you around on your hands and knees. He pushed down the middle of your back to deepen your arch, your ass perfectly in front of him. He moaned, giving your ass a loud smack causing you to gasp, before leaning down to kiss the area he hit.

“Read to get your life fucked up?” He asked, leaning down to kiss your forehead. You scoffed, wiping his kiss off.

“Fuck me, or don’t. Either way I’ll get fucked.” You shrugged, wanting to rile him up. JJ must’ve caught, because his face turned dark and before you knew it he was thrusting into you from behind, having a harsh grip on your hips, one that’ll probably bruise later. His head tipped back as he roughly fucked you from behind, using one hand to grab you by your back and pull you to him, his thrusts powerful and firm. A moan coming ron you ever thrust.

“Imagine…dick like this every day for the rest of your life.” He moaned, using both his hands to hold into your breasts, your whines becoming louder as you feel yourself about to come again. “Shit it’s so fucking good, i’m gonna fuck you up over … and over .. and over…”

You moaned at his words, as he pushed you back down, your face in the pillows as his foot was now on top of your head, angling your body so he could thrust deeper. His thrusts were ruthless, not letting up on you at all. You almost felt dizzy, but you couldn’t tap out…now now, he just started fucking you.

But it was so good, You grabbed onto his ankle of his foot that he planted on your head and started aggressively throwing your ass back, catching him off guard, his hands now on his own hips as he watched you do the work, sounds of smack and squelching along with your combined moaned filled the room.

“Jesus fuck, slow down.” He gasped, his head tilted back but you didn’t listen, in fact, you went harder, loving the small whimper that just escaped him.

JJ was in bliss, he smiled into the ceiling as he felt your ass crash back into his pelvis again and again. He rubbed his hands slowly up and down your back, loving the feeling of you gripping the shit out of his dick. He quickly pulled out of you, turning you on your back and immediately thrusted into you, leaning down on you, grabbing your neck with both hands and pounding you into the mattress until you kept tapping him, officially tapping out but that didn’t stop him, he smiled. He took one of his hands and slapped you across the face before placing it back on the side of your neck, spitting in your mouth.

“Nobody could ever fuck you like this. Fuckkkkkk.”

“Perfect fucking pussy. That dick feel good baby? Hm?.” He groaned, grabbing his phone from the nightstand before propping it up on the lamp right across from you and pressing record, and ramming his dick into you at a unforgiving pace, causing you to choke on your moan, your cream creating a white circle around his dick.

“Tell the camera who’s making you feel good.” He demanded, forcing you to look at the camera. You finally got a look at yourself, your braids were kinda frizzy, and your eyes were low and tearful as you tried your best to take what he was giving you.

“It’s yours, daddy. It’s all yours.” You cried, feeling yourself sauirt once again tonight, your legs shaking drastically. You cried against him as you came again. JJ smiled, pulling you in for a kiss. Never in your life have you submitted to a man…ever. It felt foreign, but good at the same time.

“Good job baby.” He praised, allowing you to come down from your high. “Too bad I didn’t come yet.”

Your body went limp as he pulled you to the edge of the bed, turning the lower half of your body to the side, before lining his dick up with your pussy and thrusting harshly before pulling out and doing it again. You slowly started to slide up away from him, your pussy too sore to keep going. JJ growled and yanked you back down before pounding into your pussy, grabbing your hip and your thigh as he punished you.

“Stop *thrust* fucking *thrust* running.” He snapped, in between thrusts, using one hand to slap harshly at your face before stuffing his fingers in your mouth.

“I want everybody to hear you. I want every man whose ever fucked your to hear you.” He moaned, grabbed the phone from the night stand and turning the camera to face you.

You were ethereal, your eyes big and glossy, lips puffy and raw from the kissing and biting. You had hit marks and buckles littered across your collar bone and neck. A true masterpiece. JJ smirked at the thought.

Your walls began squeezing around JJ, prompting him to want to nut faster. He leaned down, face to face, moaning against your check as his breathe hit the side of your face. JJ’s moana and groans were getting louder, more rough. Him pumping his dick into made you moan loud, the way he touched you, sucked you. You just might drop all your other hoes.

“G-god I’m gonna cum all in your fucking pussy. Gonna fill you up so fucking good mama.” He could feel his orgasm coming as he watched your face etched in pleasure. JJ bit his lip, tilting his head back and he thrusted harder into you, chasing his own orgasm, the bed hitting the wall with every thrust.

“W-wait JJ- I’m not on birth control.” You gasped, clenching around him. He hummed.

“Guess we’ll be busy for the next 9 months.”

JJ thrusted into you one hard time before letting himself go inside you, moaning as he looked down at where you were connected and kept thrusting slowly, fucking his cum back into you as much as he could. When he was finished, he pulled out of you, laughing at your fucked out, cock drunk state.

Your body was limp, only thing moving being your chest because of how hard you were breathing. Your eyes towards the ceiling, not sparing JJ a glance as he looked at you lovingly.

“Hope you know this means your mine now pretty girl.”

You couldn’t do anything but nod, which made him laugh.

“Told you I could handle you.”

#black reader #interracial #black!reader #x black reader #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank x bitchy!kook!reader #jj maybank x kook!reader #jj maybank x you #jj maybank x black!reader #jj mayback imagine #jj mayback x reader #jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #outer banks #obx fanfiction #obx fic #obx cast #obx season 4

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ellswritings · 19 hours ago

Text

I Knew You Were Trouble

Ex!Evan Buckley x reader

Eddie Diaz x reader

TW: Emotional and physical cheating (from Buck), heartbroken reader, 118 supporting reader, Eddie picking up the pieces, angsty fluff.

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Evan Buckley. The moment his piercing blue eyes showed up at the 118, Y/N knew she was in for it. His flirty smile, the forward flirting, it was hard not to fall for it. Y/N has never been the type to fall for a guy just because he flashes a smile, but something about the way his nose crinkled whenever he grinned at her, it made her heart flutter.

Y/N L/N has always had a strong personality. She was part of the LAPD for five years before going through the Fire academy. She was the best in both of her fields. Always professional, super playful, witty, reasonable, and always down for a good time. That’s why she fit in so well with the team at the 118 when she was placed there. Hen and Chimney were the first two she met, then Captain Bobby Nash came rolling in. He clicked seamlessly with them too. And then… Buck.

On paper, he was perfect. At least in Y/N’s eyes he was. Despite his constant need to go against Bobby’s orders, she could never truly dislike the boy. Did she think he could be irrational and dumb sometimes? Absolutely. But that’s one of the things she found endearing about him.

And that’s also the reason he fell for her. Everyone on the team treated him like some idiot kid who was just a ticking time bomb. But not Y/N. She treated him like an equal, like a partner. Even when he immaturely would flirt with her on shift, tease her, blatantly but playfully check her out, she still never once genuinely got irritated with him.

So when the two of them started dating, the team wasn’t necessarily surprised. It was around that time a new recruit came into the 118. Edmundo Diaz, or as he likes to go by, Eddie. He was the missing piece the 118 needed. It felt like a full fledged family when Eddie showed up. He and Buck didn’t get along at first, but Y/N, being the effervescent force she is, managed to make them get along.

The team was amazing. Going on calls was a breeze because they all just worked so well together. Even team outings were an absolute blast because everyone got along. They are truly one big happy family.

Of course though, Eddie, Buck, and Y/N always had a deeper connection with each other than the others. Perhaps it’s because they’re so close in age, but they truly just clicked. When Eddie originally showed up to the firehouse, he wasn’t oblivious to how genuinely beautiful Y/N is. Her infectious smile and booming laugh would catch any man or woman’s attention. He would have pursued her if Buck hadn’t already won that battle.

They were always relatively professional at the job. Out of the two of them, Buck seemed to have the hardest time keeping his hands off of her. Stealing kisses here and there, smacking her behind when he thinks no one’s looking. They were happy, and anyone with eyes could see it.

At least until Taylor Kelly came into the picture.

When they got the call that her news helicopter had a mechanical failure, no one really thought anything would’ve came out of it. Y/N was pretty much in the midst of all of it, being the one to pull Taylor out of the situation while the rest of the group helped her crew and got the copter under control.

However, despite Y/N saving her life, the redheads attention was solely focused on Buck. Something that not only Y/N noticed, but the rest of the team.

It only got worse when Taylor showed up to the firehouse, claiming she would be following the 118 crew around until she felt comfortable enough to go back into the sky. Not only was Bobby annoyed, but Y/N wasn’t too thrilled to be seeing her around. Especially with the way she’s been paying special attention to her boyfriend.

Now, Y/N has never been the jealous type. She knows Buck is good looking and that other people are bound to think so too. Whenever they go out, there’s always one or two drunk individuals that try to slip him their number, but he’s never entertained any of them. After the whole Abby fiasco, his eyes have only ever been on Y/N.

That’s why she tried her hardest to ignore Taylor’s persistent behavior. She also tried to ignore how much Buck seemed to enjoy the attention. She had to remind herself of how much she loves and trusts Evan Buckley. Still, some reassurance would’ve been nice.

Anytime she’d talk to Hen and Athena about it, they’d share a look before saying that it’s just Buck’s personality. He’s a flirty guy. But that he’s never been as committed to someone as he is to her. That was always nice to hear. Even Chimney and Bobby found small ways to tell her that she has nothing to worry about.

That’s why it stung so much to walk into her apartment, one that she asked Buck to move into to get him out of Abby’s, only to find him and Taylor naked on her couch.

Her entire world crashed down around her that night. Neither of them seemed to even hear her walk in as they were still mid action and didn’t look like they were stopping anytime soon.

Y/N being as quick witted as she is, snapped a photo of their dalliance before spinning on her heel and slamming the door behind her. Anger, hurt, frustration, grief, any emotion someone could think of, she felt it that night. As soon as she got in her car, tears started flowing freely down her face. She had no idea what she was going to do with that photo. Some part of her just knew she needed proof, a reminder of what she just saw. Because she knows as soon as Buck comes crawling back to apologize, she’d forgive him in an instant.

That’s why she picked staying in her car for the night over going back there. Even though it’s her apartment, her safe space, she couldn’t bear going back. Not right now at least. Every single call he made went without an answer, all the texts, emails, all of it. She didn’t even bother to read.

Sleep didn’t come easy for the poor woman. In fact, it didn’t come at all. She simply stared out her front window, arms crossed as she buried herself deeper into her hoodie. So when the sun came out, Y/N couldn’t have been more relieved. Work was the one place where she wouldn’t have to confront this. Maintaining professionalism is of the utmost importance to her, so for the next twelve hours, she can shove all of these issues to the side.

Y/N walked into the 118 station that morning with an air of quiet fury. Her normally upbeat energy was replaced by a stiff, almost mechanical demeanor. The shift in her mood was impossible to miss. Her jaw was set, her eyes distant, and the usual lightness in her step was gone, replaced by rigid, purposeful movements. She walked past the common area without so much as a word, heading straight to the locker room to stow her gear.

The station was never completely quiet, but as Y/N entered, it felt like the atmosphere shifted, as though everyone unconsciously held their breath. Bobby was the first to notice her as she passed by his office.

“Morning, Y/N,” he greeted her, his usual warm smile in place. But Y/N, normally quick with a bright ‘Good morning,’ barely glanced his way.

“Hey, Cap,” she muttered, not slowing her pace. Her voice was flat, a stark contrast to her usual chipper tone.

Bobby frowned, watching her as she moved further into the station. He’d been a captain long enough to know when one of his firefighters was struggling with something, and Y/N’s behavior set off alarm bells in his mind. She wasn’t being rude—she was too professional for that—but her unusually short response made it clear something was off.

Y/N reached her locker, tugging it open with more force than necessary. Her hands moved quickly as she shoved her bag inside, not caring that it landed haphazardly. She was wound so tightly that every movement seemed deliberate, controlled, like she was holding back a flood of emotions threatening to escape.

Hen, who had been watching from the other side of the room, approached carefully. She knew Y/N well enough to see that something was seriously wrong. Normally, Y/N would joke about the early mornings or make some witty comment to lighten the mood, but today, she was all business.

“Hey, Y/N,” Hen said softly, leaning against the lockers beside her. “You okay?”

Y/N paused, her hands gripping the edge of her locker door for a moment before letting out a sharp exhale. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she replied curtly, closing the locker with a loud clang.

Hen didn’t buy it, and neither did the rest of the team, who were now quietly exchanging glances from across the room. Chimney, watching from the doorway, nudged Eddie.

“Something’s definitely up,” Chim whispered. “She doesn’t look like she’s slept.”

Eddie’s gaze was fixed on Y/N, his brows furrowed in concern. She was usually the first to crack a joke, the one to bring energy into the room, but today, her whole demeanor was different. She was stiff, guarded, and Eddie could see the tension in her shoulders, the way she was holding herself together with an almost frightening precision.

“Y/N,” Eddie called out softly as he approached. “You sure you’re okay?”

Y/N glanced at him briefly before looking away, her lips pressed into a thin line. She appreciated the concern, but she didn’t want to get into it—not here, not now. “I’m fine, Eddie,” she said, her voice clipped but not harsh.

Eddie didn’t push, though his eyes stayed on her, worry etched in every line of his face. He knew Y/N well enough to know that ‘fine’ wasn’t fine at all.

As Y/N moved through the rest of her morning routine, the tension around her only grew. Her movements were brisk, efficient, but there was a hardness to her that wasn’t normally there. She didn’t engage in small talk, didn’t banter with the team like usual. The shift in her behavior was like a cloud hanging over the station, and everyone could feel it.

Then Buck walked in, his entrance loud and hurried, as though he was already feeling the weight of the guilt on his shoulders. He looked disheveled, like he hadn’t slept, and his eyes immediately locked onto Y/N.

Her entire body tensed the moment he entered. She could feel his presence without even looking at him, the air between them thick with unresolved tension. She didn’t want to deal with this right now—especially not at work. But Buck, clearly desperate to make things right, approached her anyway.

“Y/N, can we talk? Please?” Buck’s voice was quiet but urgent as he moved toward her.

Y/N stiffened even more, her back straightening as she turned to face him. Her eyes were cold, and her lips pressed into a tight, thin line. “Now’s not the time or place, Evan.”

He flinches at the cold use of his first name, “Please, Y/N, I just… I need to explain,” he said, his voice cracking slightly as he took another step closer.

Y/N tenses, her grip tightening around the locker door. She swallows hard, mortified that he’s bringing this up here, in front of everyone. She glances around and sees Chimney and Eddie looking at Buck with something akin to disgust. Hen’s brow is furrowed in confusion, and even Bobby has stopped pretending to read the morning paper.

Y/N hesitated, hating that he’s cornering her in the only other place she thought she’d be safe. The woman was trying so hard to stay professional, but he wasn’t making it easy. She could feel the eyes of everyone in the station on her, and the last thing she wanted was to make a scene.

“Fine,” she muttered through gritted teeth, motioning for him to follow her to a quieter corner of the station.

Once they were away from the rest of the team, Buck wasted no time. “Y/N, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

Y/N’s eyes flashed with anger, her composure slipping just a little. “You didn’t mean for it to happen?” she repeated, her voice low and dangerous. “You’re telling me you just accidentally ended up screwing Taylor on my couch?”

Buck winced at her words, his guilt written all over his face. “I—I wasn’t thinking. I was confused.”

“Confused?” Y/N’s voice was sharper now, her anger bubbling to the surface. “That’s your excuse? You didn’t know what you were doing?”

“I was in a bad headspace, Y/N. It just—” Buck struggled for words, clearly not understanding how badly he was making things. “It didn’t mean anything. You and me, we’re the real thing. That with Taylor… it was just a mistake.”

Y/N’s eyes widened, disbelief and fury warring in her chest. “A mistake?” she echoed, her voice trembling with the effort of holding back her rage. “No,” she scoffs. “No. No, a mistake is when you lose your keys. What you did was make a blatant choice without thinking of the consequences.”

Buck’s face flushed, and he shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. “I didn’t mean for it to happen like this. Please, I can’t lose you.”

“You should’ve thought about that before you cheated on me!” Y/N snapped, her voice rising. The anger she had been holding back all morning finally erupted, spilling out into the open. Her words echoed through the station, drawing the attention of everyone around them.

Buck’s face paled as he realized the entire team had heard her outburst. He looked around, embarrassment flooding him, but Y/N didn’t care. She was too angry, too hurt to worry about how this looked.

“Y/N—”

“No, Buck!” she yelled, her hands trembling as she tried to hold back the tears threatening to spill over. “You don’t get to do this! You don’t get to stand here and pretend like it didn’t mean anything. You cheated on me. You lied to me. And now you want me to just… what? Forgive you because it didn’t ‘mean anything’?” She shakes her head, failing at stopping herself from making the situation worse. “You try to act like you’ve changed, but you’re still the same freakin’ playboy who had sex with every girl who paid him the slightest bit of attention.”

The station was dead silent. The rest of the team, though trying not to stare, couldn’t help but listen to every word.

Buck’s mouth opened and closed as he struggled for a response, but nothing came out. The weight of Y/N’s words seemed to hit him all at once, and the guilt that had been simmering beneath the surface came crashing down on him.

Before Buck could say anything else, Y/N shook her head, her voice breaking. “I can’t do this anymore. I– I just– I can’t. We’re done.”

And with that, she turned on her heel and walked away, her heart pounding, her face flushed with a mix of anger and embarrassment.

The silence in the station hung heavy until Hen was the first to break it, her voice firm. “What the hell, Buck?”

Chimney sighed, his disappointment evident. “You messed up, man. You don’t do that to someone like Y/N.”

Bobby, usually the voice of reason, stepped in, his tone stern. “You need to figure out how you’re going to make this right. But more importantly, you need to take responsibility for your actions, Buck. This wasn’t just a mistake. It’s a breach of trust. We don’t do things like that to each other.”

Buck looked around, his face pale as he realized just how badly he had screwed up. But it was Eddie who delivered the harshest blow. He stepped forward, his eyes blazing with barely concealed anger.

“You had something good, Buck,” Eddie said, his voice low but full of emotion. “And you threw it away. She deserved better than that. Better than you.”

Buck’s face fell, the weight of Eddie’s words hitting him like a punch to the gut. Eddie never spoke like that—especially not to his friends—but this was different. This was Y/N. And Eddie wasn’t just mad—he was furious.

As Buck stood there, looking like the ground had been ripped out from under him, Eddie turned on his heel and followed Y/N outside. He found her pacing near one of the firetrucks, her hands shaking as she tried to calm herself down.

“Y/N,” Eddie called out softly.

She paused, glancing up at him, her eyes red and glassy. “I’m fine,” she muttered, though it was clear she wasn’t. She won’t let any actual tears fall. Not here. Not at work. She can’t lose it.

Eddie sighs before taking a gentle step forward. He stops her pacing by grabbing her hands as delicately as possible. He can feel the furious energy buzzing through her skin. It’s a rage similar to his own. As he looks into her gorgeous (e/c) eyes, his anger morphs into pain. His heart aches at how broken she looks. She trusted Buck with every fiber of her being and he took it for granted. He took her for granted. How could he throw away such a beautiful soul?

“No, mariposa, you’re not,” he shakes his head. His deep chocolate gaze makes her shoulders slump. Her tense posture falls, knowing that there’s no point in lying to him. For whatever reason, Eddie has always been able to read her like an open book. She couldn’t keep secrets with him. He knew them before she even knew herself. “Everything that happened in there… that’s not fine. So please, don’t pretend with me.”

Y/N finally forced herself to open up. She exhales shakily, blowing a big puff of air out as she laughs brokenly. A small sniffle escapes her, “It just… hurts, y’know? I mean, I kinda picked up on something weird with them, but I thought I was just being paranoid,” she looks back down at her boot-clad feet. “I try not to be jealous, I feel like it makes me look crazy. But… I guess I should’ve trusted my gut.” She sends a halfhearted glare over at Buck who’s still standing in the middle of the fire station, trying to avoid everyone’s wrath. “I’m such an idiot.”

“Hey,” Eddie stops her, a serious look on his face. He moves one hand to cup her chin, forcing her to look back at him. “You are not the idiot in this situation. He is,” he nods in Buck’s direction. “He didn’t see the amazing woman he had right in front of him. He’s the biggest damn idiot in the world for losing you.”

Y/N feels like she can let her walls crumble around Eddie. There’s something about the way his strong presence grounds her, silently reassuring her that he’s there, that he’s supporting her. She relaxes into his soft touch, “I just… I don’t know what I’m gonna do now. I mean, he lives with me.”

Eddie hesitates for a moment before pulling her fully into him, wrapping his arms around her as she rests her head on his chest. “Well, the best answer I can give you is that you continue being you. And trust me, there’s someone out there who’s going to see how incredible you are and never take it for granted. Someone who would treat you like the gem you are.” He pauses before planting a soft kiss on her forehead, “And if you want, you can always stay with Chris and I until he gets all of his stuff cleared out.”

Y/N looks up at him, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I think I might take you up on that.” She swallows, trying to keep herself together. “But… what if I don’t want to go through all of that again? Maybe I’m not meant to find anyone else. What if I’m just…done with relationships?”

Eddie’s expression softened even further. He knew how hard this was for her, and part of him hated seeing her in so much pain, especially because of someone like Buck. But he also knew she was stronger than she gave herself credit for. “You’re not done, Y/N. You’re just hurt right now. But you’ll heal, and when you’re ready, you’ll move on. And when that happens, you’ll find someone who’s going to love you the way you deserve to be loved.”

Y/N searched his face for a moment, her breath catching in her throat. There was something in the way Eddie was looking at her—something she hadn’t noticed before. A tenderness, an intensity that made her heart skip a beat.

She blinked, trying to shake off the feeling. Now wasn’t the time. “Thanks, Eddie,” she whispered, her voice shaky but sincere.

He gave her a small smile, his hand lingering near hers for just a moment longer before he stepped back. “Anytime.”

They stood in silence for a few moments, the air between them charged with something unspoken. Eddie wanted to tell her that he was there for her in more ways than just friendship, but he knew this wasn’t the right moment. Y/N had just been through hell, and she needed space to heal.

But he also knew that if she ever needed him—really needed him—he’d be there without hesitation.

Before Y/N could respond, the station doors opened, and Hen walked out, giving them both a look. “Everything alright out here?”

Y/N straightened up, wiping her face quickly and nodding. “Yeah, I’m good.”

Hen gave her a knowing look but didn’t push. “Alright. We’re heading out for a call in a few minutes, so just wanted to make sure you were ready.”

Y/N took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself for the day ahead. “I’m ready,” she said, her voice more steady now.

Hen nodded and headed back inside, leaving Y/N and Eddie standing there in the quiet. Eddie looked at her one last time, his eyes filled with a silent promise. “You’ve got this.”

Y/N nodded, forcing a small smile. “Yeah. I’ve got this.”

As they walked back inside together, the weight of the day ahead still heavy on Y/N’s shoulders, she knew that it was going to take time to fully heal. But with Eddie by her side and the support of the rest of her team, she knew she wasn’t facing it alone.

And as for Buck? She wasn’t sure what the future held, but one thing was clear: she deserved better than what he had given her. And one day, she’d find it. But for now, she’d focus on what she did best—being a damn good firefighter and an even better person.

══════ ∘◦❀◦∘ ══════

Working a twelve hour shift on absolutely no sleep had to have been the worst decision Y/N could have made. It’s not that she isn’t capable of doing her job, it’s just her emotions were already on overdrive after seeing Buck, but now that exhaustion is kicking in, it’s not good for anyone.

She pulls the hair tie out of her hair as she grabs the remaining items from her locker. Her eyes travel over to Eddie who is already waiting by the entrance of the firehouse for her. He sends her a small smile and she returns it, a small flutter in her chest catching her off guard. Y/N internally scolds herself for staring too long. She’s always found Eddie attractive, but she just got out of a relationship with Buck. Now is not the time to be casting ogling glances to Eddie.

She slings her bag over her shoulder before heading out of the locker room. Thankfully, she has enough clothes in her bag for the next few days to bring to Eddie’s so she doesn’t have to go back home. She bids a proper goodbye to everyone, narrowly avoiding Buck who just walked out of the showers. He looks like a wounded puppy when he watches Y/N walk away.

He walks away dejectedly, trying to avoid the angry stares from the rest of the team. Y/N feels a certain level of safety as she continues growing closer to the Diaz man. To her dismay though, someone felt the need to disrupt her journey.

Taylor.

“Y/N, can I speak with you for a moment?” She asks, tilting her head in a way that makes Y/N clench her jaw.

“I don’t really think that’s a good idea,” Y/N replies smoothly.

Taylor persists, “I’m just asking for a second of your time.”

“To interview me professionally or to try and explain why you were butt ass naked on my couch?” Y/N raises a confrontational eyebrow, yet her tone remains collected. Taylor purses her lips, trying to fight off her own embarrassment as more people in the firehouse look over to them. Eddie takes a few steps closer, getting ready to intervene if needed.

“Look, you have every right to be angry–”

“Oh, I know,” Y/N nods, crossing her arms. “I don’t need your permission or you to tell me I have the right to do anything.”

Taylor sucks in a deep breath, clearly getting impatient. “I just think that maybe you’re being too hard on Buck. He really was in a rough place. I think you owe it to him to hear him out.”

“Really?” Y/N lets out a humorless laugh. “I owe him? Oh sweetheart, I don’t owe anyone anything,” she shakes her head, taking a step forward with a condescending smile. “He made his bed, or in this case, the couch, so now he can lay in it,” she shrugs nonchalantly. Y/N looks Taylor up and down before scoffing, “You two deserve each other…” she grumbles before shoulder checking the journalist and finishing her journey over to Eddie.

He watches her with an impressed look on his face, “How’d that feel?” He asks with a small grin.

“So good,” Y/N breathes out with a victorious sighs. “If I could’ve punched her without getting fired, I would have.”

Eddie chuckles, wrapping his arm around her shoulder as he walks her out of the firehouse. “You’re too professional for that.”

“Yeah… I suppose,” Y/N leans into his side.

“Hey, why don’t you ride home with me?” Eddie suggests. “Since you’re staying at my place, we could just carpool in the morning.”

“I can’t just leave my car here,” Y/N says logically.

“You can get it tomorrow,” he brushes off, guiding her over to his vehicle. “C’mon… it’ll be fun. I’ll let you play Hamilton on the way,” he grins, knowing that’ll get her to say yes.

Y/N sighs reluctantly but ultimately ends up hightailing it towards Eddie’s car. It makes her flush at the thought that he pays that much attention to her and the things she likes. She loves musicals and everything related to theatre. It’s a guilty pleasure she’s had since middle school.

The moment they walked into Eddie's house, Christopher came sprinting toward them, his excitement contagious.

“Y/N!” he called, throwing his arms around her waist. “Are you staying over?”

“For a little while,” Y/N said, ruffling his hair. “Think you can put up with me?”

Christopher grinned. “Only if we make cookies.”

Y/N looked at Eddie, raising a brow. “That okay with you, Chef Diaz?”

Eddie smirked, leaning casually against the doorframe. “I guess I can allow it. But don’t think you’re getting out of clean-up duty.”

Christopher grabbed Y/N’s hand, dragging her toward the kitchen. “C’mon! I already know where the chocolate chips are!”

Eddie followed, shaking his head with amusement as he grabbed an apron. “You’ve got him wrapped around your finger,” he teased.

“Oh, please. He’s the boss around here,” Y/N shot back, tying her own apron and bumping Eddie lightly with her hip.

As they worked, the kitchen buzzed with laughter and lighthearted banter. Y/N and Eddie stood shoulder-to-shoulder at the counter while Christopher focused on cracking eggs without shell casualties. Y/N nudged Eddie when she caught him sneaking a handful of chocolate chips.

“You’re supposed to bake with those,” she said, trying to snatch the bag away.

“You’re the one who ate half the dough at the station,” Eddie countered, leaning closer with a playful smirk. “Hypocrite much?”

“Someone had to test it for poison,” she shot back, their faces just inches apart. She realized too late how close they were, her breath catching at the warmth in his eyes.

Eddie cleared his throat, stepping back as he tossed the chips into the mixing bowl. “Poison control. Got it,” he said, his voice quieter now.

Christopher’s cheerful commentary broke the moment, and Y/N refocused, though her heart raced.

Later, as the cookies baked, the three of them sprawled on the couch with mugs of milk and plates of their handiwork. They watched Moana, singing along at Christopher’s insistence, and Y/N felt herself sink into the comfort of it all—a fleeting glimpse of a life she hadn’t realized she wanted.

By the time Christopher went to bed, yawning through his goodnight hug, Y/N felt exhaustion settle over her. Eddie walked back into the living room with a blanket slung over his shoulder.

“You take my bed,” he offered, his tone leaving no room for argument. “I’ll take the couch.”

“Eddie,” Y/N protested, “don’t be ridiculous. I can sleep out here.”

“I wasn’t asking,” he said with a crooked grin, tossing the blanket onto the couch.

She hesitated, looking up at him. “I mean… we could just share. Your bed’s big enough, right?”

Eddie froze for a beat, his brows lifting. “You’re serious?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Y/N shrugged, trying to sound casual, though her cheeks burned.

He exhaled and nodded. “Alright, but if you snore, I’m kicking you out.”

Later, lying side by side in the quiet of Eddie’s room, Y/N broke the silence. “I thought Buck was the one,” she admits quietly, her eyes falling as she thinks about everything that’s transpired in the past twenty-four hours. “And, y’know, maybe he was… for a while.” She turned her head, meeting Eddie’s steady gaze in the dim light. “But I’d be lying Eddie if I said I never thought about you,” her voices comes out in a whisper, almost like she’s scared of how he’ll react.

Eddie didn’t answer right away, his expression softening. Then, before she could second-guess herself, he leaned in, pressing his lips to hers. The kiss was slow, deliberate, and unguarded, carrying loads of unspoken feelings. When his hand slid to her waist and she deepened the kiss, Eddie pulled back suddenly, resting his forehead against hers.

“Y/N,” he murmured, his voice rough. “I can’t… I don’t want to take advantage of you. Not after everything with Buck.”

She nodded, her chest tightening with a mix of disappointment and admiration. “You’re a good man, Eddie.”

He smiled faintly. “I’m trying to be.” A small chuckle leaves his lips, “Believe me, it’s not easy. Not with you here, like this,” he gestures to the closeness between them. “I’ve thought about this more than I’d like to admit. Probably an embarrassing amount of times. And while I would love to continue what just happened, I can’t do that to you. Not when your heart just got broken.”

Y/N reaches over to cup his cheek, “Then maybe you can help me figure out how to fix it.”

══════ ∘◦❀◦∘ ══════

Over the next few weeks, their connection only grew stronger.

At the station, Eddie would appear beside her with coffee, their hands brushing in ways that felt intentional. Y/N’s laugh came more easily around him, and the team couldn’t help but notice. Hen caught Eddie sneaking glances more than once, and Chimney started placing bets with Bobby about when Eddie would make his move.

At Eddie’s house, Christopher treated Y/N like part of the family. She helped him with homework, played board games, and joined them for Sunday dinners. Eddie would lean against the doorway, watching them, his heart full.

Things finally felt good for Y/N. Like every single piece of her life fit perfectly. She was getting over Buck while still getting along well with the team. She’s been spending a lot of amazing time with Eddie and Chris. She absolutely loves the little boy. It’s like being apart of them and their routine was that little spark she was missing before.

One evening, after dropping Christopher off at a friend’s house, Eddie finally asked her out. “Y/N,” he began, his voice tinged with nervousness. “What would you say if I wanted to take you out for real? Like a date.”

Y/N smiled, her heart soaring. “I’d say it’s about time.”

Their first date was simple: dinner at a small Mexican restaurant Eddie loved, followed by a walk under the stars. They talked for hours, and when Eddie kissed her goodnight, it was everything she’d been waiting for.

Back at the station, their relationship became the team’s favorite topic. Hen teased them mercilessly, and even Chim couldn’t resist joining in. Buck, though initially uncomfortable, eventually came around, admitting that Eddie made Y/N happy in a way he hadn’t.

For the first time in a long time, Y/N felt like she was exactly where she was meant to be—with Eddie, with Christopher, with a future that finally felt whole.

#911 imagine #evan buckley #eddie diaz x reader #eddie diaz #station 118 #bobby nash #athena grant #hen wilson #chimney han #taylor kelly #christopher diaz #angst with a happy ending #female reader #911 abc

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mingi-s-dimples · 2 hours ago

Text

At his mercy - hj

KINKTOBER DAY 24, REQ. BY anon

~"hongjoong tortures y/n by strapping a vibrator onto her pussy and tying her limbs, causing y/n to squirm and stop for him to make it stop. hongjoong edges y/n by turning the vibrator off everytime she's abt to come."

pairing: dom!hongjoong x sub fem!reader

genre: 18+, bdsm au

summary: one broken rule of his would bring you on the edge of being desperate and begging.. for him

wc: 3.2k

warnings: bdsm au, dom/sub relationship, harsh dom!hj, whiny sub!reader, use of toys (vibrator), lots of edging, denied orgasms, crying (out of overstim), slight dacryphilia, use of restraints (he uses soft scarfs to tie her up, and the toy), kissing, neck holding, neck grabbing, slight choking, clit stim, some praising here and there, completely consensual, for sure forgot something, will edit later.

Author's Note: I love writing bdsm style fics sm... y all can see one of my personal kinks ups🧍‍♀️it s all good tho, I love conveying my thoughts whenever I write bdsm typa fics 🤭 I'm so so into the edging thing I'm going insane... anyways, anon, enjoy !!! 🤗💖

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and does not represent the reality of the member in any way.

The soft glow of twilight filtered through the curtains, casting shadows across the room that felt heavier than usual. You had been home for barely an hour, your shoulders aching from the weight of the day, when the realization hit you like a jolt of lightning: your phone was dead.

You froze mid-step, the memory of Hongjoong’s firm words echoing in your mind.

“Keep your phone on, *always.*”

It wasn’t a casual request. In your relationship—both romantic and deeply rooted in the careful dynamics of trust and power—it was one of the fundamental rules. His rules weren’t arbitrary; they were meticulously crafted with your safety and the trust you had placed in him at their core.

But today had been a whirlwind. You’d been caught up in errands, lost track of time, and when your phone had died, you’d brushed it off. *I’ll charge it when I get home,* you’d thought. It didn’t seem like a big deal at the time.

Now, as you stared at the lifeless device in your hand, your stomach sank. You knew Hongjoong would already be home, and you could practically feel the weight of his disapproval before even stepping into the bedroom.

A deep breath did little to steady your nerves as you opened the door. The sight of him, seated on the edge of the bed, confirmed your fears. He was dressed impeccably, his shirt sleeves rolled up to reveal his forearms, a casual elegance that only heightened the intensity of his presence. His head lifted as the door clicked shut behind you, his dark eyes locking onto yours.

“You’re late,” he said evenly, his voice calm but sharp enough to send a shiver down your spine.

“I’m sorry,” you blurted, your hands tightening around your dead phone. “I—”

He raised a hand, cutting you off. “Spare me the excuses.”

He stood, his movements deliberate, and the sheer authority radiating from him made your pulse quicken. As your Dom, Hongjoong’s presence carried an unspoken weight—a mixture of love, control, and safety wrapped in his unwavering confidence. Tonight, though, you could feel the shift in the air, the tension crackling between you like an unstruck match.

“You were unreachable for hours,” he said, his tone quieter now, but no less commanding. He crossed the room with slow, measured steps, stopping just in front of you. “Do you know how dangerous that is?”

“I wasn’t thinking,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

“No,” he agreed, tilting his head slightly, his lips pressing into a thin line. “You weren’t. And because of that, you’ve broken one of my rules.”

The weight of his words settled heavily on your chest. Hongjoong wasn’t one to lose control or raise his voice; his power lay in his restraint, the deliberate way he handled every situation. You knew how much effort he put into crafting your dynamic, ensuring that every boundary, every rule, was there to protect and guide you.

“Tell me,” he continued, his voice deceptively soft, “what happens when you break the rules?”

You hesitated, heat rising to your cheeks. “There are consequences.”

“Good girl,” he said, nodding once. “Then you understand why we’re here.”

A thrill of nervous anticipation coursed through you, your body already responding to the subtle shift in his demeanor. This was no longer just about the broken rule or the dead phone. This was about his rule—rebuilding it, reaffirming it, and reminding you of the structure you had both agreed to.

“Strip,” he said, stepping back just enough to give you space.

You swallowed hard, your fingers trembling slightly as you reached for the hem of your shirt. There was no hesitation in his gaze, no flicker of doubt. His command wasn’t rooted in anger but in the unshakable confidence that this was what you both needed.

Piece by piece, you removed your clothing, the vulnerability of the act heightening your awareness of every movement, every breath. When you were finally bare before him, he gestured toward the bed.

“Sit.”

You obeyed, perching on the edge of the mattress, your heart racing as he reached into the bedside drawer. He pulled out the familiar length of silk—a scarf he often used during scenes—and the sight of it made your stomach flutter.

“Hands,” he instructed, his voice firm but not unkind.

You lifted your hands, palms up, and he moved closer, the scent of his cologne washing over you as he carefully bound your wrists. The fabric was cool against your skin, the knot secure but not too tight—a reminder of the balance he always maintained between control and care.

Once your wrists were bound, he stepped back, his eyes raking over you with an intensity that left you breathless.

“Do you know why this is happening?” he asked, his voice low and steady.

“Because I broke the rules,” you replied softly, your cheeks flushing under his gaze.

“More than that,” he said, leaning in slightly, his presence overwhelming in the best way. “Because you forgot what it means to me. To let me protect you.”

The words hit you like a bolt of lightning, your heart clenching at the weight of his words.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, the sincerity in your voice evident.

He reached out, his fingers brushing against your jaw as he tilted your chin up to meet his gaze. “I know you are,” he said, his tone softening slightly. “But sorry isn’t enough. You need to feel this—so you don’t forget.”

His words sent a shiver down your spine, anticipation thrumming through your veins as he stepped back. Slowly, he climbed onto the bed, his movements deliberate and precise. He positioned himself above you, his hands braced on either side of your head, and the sheer proximity of him made it hard to breathe.

“You trust me,” he murmured, his voice a low rumble that sent heat coursing through your body.

“Yes,” you replied without hesitation.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, sir.”

A small, satisfied smile tugged at his lips. “Good.”

He leaned down, his breath warm against your skin as he pressed a kiss to your temple—a gesture that was both comforting and charged with electricity. Then, without another word, he began his work.

His hands moved with practiced ease, tracing a slow, deliberate path over your body. Every touch was calculated, designed to heighten your awareness and leave you yearning for more.

Hongjoong’s eyes gleamed with something primal as he pulled back slightly, his fingers trailing down the curve of your waist, leaving a path of fire in their wake. Without breaking eye contact, he reached back into the drawer. The faint hum of anticipation in the room grew sharper as he retrieved a small, sleek vibrator.

The sight of it made your breath hitch. He held it up between you, tilting it slightly, the light catching its smooth surface. His thumb hovered over the button, and with a soft click, it came to life—a low, teasing buzz that made your body tighten in response.

“This,” he said, his voice dripping with authority, “is for me to control. Just like you.”

A shiver coursed through you as he climbed off the bed, placing the vibrator down for a moment. He grabbed another length of silk, this one thicker, from the drawer and leaned down to secure your ankles to the bedposts. His touch was firm but careful, ensuring the bonds were snug but not uncomfortable. The vulnerability of having your legs spread and tied left you quivering.

With your wrists already secured above you and your legs now restrained, Hongjoong stepped back to admire his work. His gaze traveled over your body, appreciation and dominance mingling in his eyes.

“Look at you,” he murmured, almost to himself. “Completely at my mercy.”

You couldn’t hold his gaze, your cheeks heating as you squirmed under his scrutiny. But the sound of the vibrator clicking to a higher setting snapped your attention back to him.

“Eyes on me,” he ordered, his tone sharp enough to cut through your haze.

“Yes, sir,” you stammered, your voice shaky.

He smirked, the corners of his mouth lifting in that way that always left you breathless. Slowly, he climbed back onto the bed, the mattress dipping under his weight as he positioned himself between your thighs.

“I’m going to teach you,” he said, running the vibrator along the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, just shy of where you wanted it most. “Teach you to listen. To remember who you belong to.”

The vibrations against your skin were maddening, a tantalizing promise of what was to come. Your hips instinctively arched toward him, but he pressed a firm hand to your stomach, holding you in place.

“Uh-uh,” he said with a click of his tongue. “You’ll take what I give you. Nothing more.”

“Yes, sir,” you managed to whisper, your voice barely audible over the hum of the vibrator.

The heat in his gaze intensified as he trailed the toy higher, stopping just at the apex of your thighs. The anticipation was unbearable, your body trembling as he kept you on the edge, never quite giving you what you craved.

“Good girl,” he murmured, his voice soft but full of power. “Now let’s see how well you can obey.”

The sound of the vibrator’s low hum filled the room as Hongjoong continued his torment, letting it hover just close enough to make your body tighten, only to pull it away at the last second. His precision was maddening, each pass over your skin deliberate and cruel in its restraint. You could feel your orgasm building—heat pooling deep within you, your breaths turning ragged—but just as you neared that peak, he stopped.

A desperate whimper escaped your lips as your body ached for the release he denied you.

“Ah, ah,” Hongjoong tutted, clearly relishing your reaction. His smirk was wicked as he trailed the toy lightly along your stomach, far from where you wanted it. “Did I give you permission for that?”

“N-no, sir,” you stammered, your voice shaky.

“Then why are you acting like you have control here?” he teased, his tone both sharp and teasing as he leaned down, his breath ghosting over your ear. “You don’t. Not tonight.”

Your body trembled as he brought the vibrator back to your clit, the sensations sharp and all-consuming. This time, he pressed it against it with just enough pressure to send your nerves spiraling toward that edge again. Your breaths quickened, your hips bucking against the restraints as pleasure surged through you.

But once again, just as you were about to topple over the edge, he pulled back, switching the vibrator off with a casual click.

“No!” The protest slipped out before you could stop it, your voice thick with desperation. Tears of frustration pricked at the corners of your eyes, and you pulled weakly against the silk holding you in place.

Hongjoong chuckled, low and rich, clearly enjoying your unraveling. “Oh, sweetheart,” he said, his voice dripping with amusement as he brushed his fingers gently along your jawline, tipping your chin up so you had no choice but to meet his gaze. “You’re really not in a position to argue, are you?”

You bit your lip, unsure how to respond, and his smirk deepened. “Since you seem to need a reminder of your place…”

He reached into the drawer again and pulled out a silk ribbon. Your heart raced as he carefully tied the vibrator against your inner thigh, angling it perfectly over your clit, where every nerve felt raw and exposed. He secured it with meticulous care, ensuring it stayed in place.

“There,” he said, flicking the toy back on to a steady, teasing hum. It wasn’t enough to overwhelm you, but the constant stimulation was maddening, leaving you squirming in your bonds.

You let out a soft cry of frustration, your body both desperate for relief and overwhelmed by the unrelenting sensation.

“Comfortable?” he asked, his tone mockingly sweet as he knelt on the bed, watching you with that same unshakable confidence.

“Please,” you whispered, tears now slipping down your cheeks as the frustration became unbearable.

“Please, what?” he prompted, his voice softer now, almost tender.

“Please, sir,” you choked out, your voice trembling.

He leaned down, brushing a thumb across your cheek to catch a tear. “You’re so beautiful like this,” he murmured, his voice rich with satisfaction. “Desperate. Completely at my mercy.”

The hum of the vibrator against you was relentless, the teasing just enough to keep you teetering on the brink without ever letting you fall. Hongjoong’s eyes burned with intensity as he watched you writhe beneath him, the control firmly in his hands.

“Let’s see how long you can hold on,” he said, his voice a mixture of warning and promise, leaving no doubt that he was far from finished.

Hongjoong climbed over you, his presence overwhelming as he hovered above, his knees bracketing your hips. His face was close—so close that you could feel the warmth of his breath against your skin. The intensity in his gaze was magnetic, holding you captive as he leaned in slowly. When his lips finally met yours, the kiss was firm yet teasing, a tantalizing mix of control and tenderness.

His fingers trailed down your sides, deliberate and unhurried, until they found your thighs. He pressed his palms into the soft flesh, his touch both grounding and electrifying. Without breaking the kiss, his hand drifted lower, brushing over the vibrator tied against you. He pressed it gently against you, just enough to amplify the sensation.

A soft, breathless moan escaped your lips, and Hongjoong broke the kiss just long enough to chuckle—a low, amused sound that sent shivers down your spine.

“You’re so responsive,” he murmured, his voice dripping with satisfaction. “Every little touch drives you wild, doesn’t it?”

You nodded weakly, your body trembling beneath him. His fingers resumed their journey, tracing the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, leaving goosebumps in their wake. When he reached the vibrator again, he paused, applying just enough pressure to make you arch into him.

“Easy,” he murmured, his tone both commanding and soothing. His touch softened, his fingers now trailing upward with featherlight strokes that left you aching for more.

When his hand finally settled over your wet cunt, he didn’t rush. Instead, he teased, tracing slow, deliberate circles on your clit, each movement precise and controlled. You gasped at the sensation, your body straining against the bonds as he continued his careful exploration.

“You’re mine,” he whispered, his voice firm but intimate, as if sharing a secret meant only for you. His fingers continued their torment, each movement designed to draw you closer to the edge without letting you fall.

“Say it,” he commanded softly, his fingers pausing just enough to make you desperate for their return.

“I’m yours,” you whispered, your voice trembling with emotion.

A satisfied smile spread across his lips as he leaned down, pressing another kiss to your lips, softer this time, but no less consuming. His touch remained relentless, a masterful mix of restraint and precision, leaving you completely at his mercy in the best possible way.

Hongjoong’s fingers moved in circles, his touch relentless yet measured, keeping you balanced right on the edge of release. The vibrator’s steady hum against you combined with the pressure of his skilled fingers made your entire body tense, the pleasure building to an almost unbearable peak.

You felt it coming—the moment your body would give in, the flood of the orgasm you so desperately needed. But just as you reached the brink, Hongjoong’s hand stilled, and he pulled the vibrator away ever so slightly, leaving you hanging in exquisite frustration.

A cry of anguish escaped your lips, tears of desperation welling up and spilling over as your body trembled beneath him. Your head fell back against the pillow, your breaths coming in shaky gasps as you looked up at him, pleading silently with your tear-filled eyes.

Hongjoong’s expression softened, but his smirk remained. He leaned in, brushing a strand of hair away from your face, his thumb catching a stray tear on your cheek.

“Poor thing,” he murmured, his voice rich with mock sympathy. “You’re falling apart, aren’t you?”

You nodded, your voice breaking as you whispered, “Please.”

“Please, what?” he asked, his tone deceptively gentle as he tilted his head, his gaze boring into yours. “Say it. Use your words. Tell me exactly what you want.”

Your cheeks burned with humiliation, but the desperation in your chest outweighed any shyness. “Please, sir,” you whimpered, your voice barely above a whisper. “Please let me…”

Hongjoong chuckled, the sound dark and intoxicating. “Oh, sweetheart,” he said, leaning closer so his lips brushed against your ear, his breath sending shivers down your spine. “You’re going to have to beg better than that.”

Tears slipped freely down your cheeks as you swallowed your pride, your voice trembling. “Please, sir, I need it. I can’t take it anymore. Please, let me come. I’ll do anything.”

His smirk faded slightly, replaced by something deeper, more genuine. “That’s my girl,” he murmured, his voice low and soothing. “You did so well for me.”

With a flick of his wrist, he brought the vibrator back against you, his fingers resuming their work, but this time his touch was more focused, more demanding. The build-up was immediate, the sensations overwhelming as he guided you closer and closer to your orgasm.

“Cum, darling… isn't that what you've been asking for?” he said softly, his tone commanding but tender.

The tension in your body snapped, and your irgasm hit you like a tidal force, your body shaking as you cried out in relief. Hongjoong didn’t stop, his fingers and the vibrator easing you through the intensity, grounding you as you came down from the high.

“That’s it,” he murmured, his free hand smoothing over your thigh in a comforting gesture. “Breathe, mhm… this is only the start..”

As your breaths began to steady, the room still thick with the remnants of your pleasure, Hongjoong shifted. The comforting caress on your thigh was replaced by a firm grip on your chin, gently tilting your face to meet his gaze. His dark, smoldering eyes held yours with an intensity that made your stomach flip.

“I hope you’re not under the impression that I’m satisfied yet,” he said, his voice low and velvety, carrying a teasing edge. He leaned closer, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear, his breath warm and deliberate. “We’re just getting started.”

Before you could respond, his hand slid to your neck, his fingers wrapping around it—not enough to hurt, just enough to command your attention, to make you feel utterly claimed. The weight of his touch sent a new wave of heat through your body, an unspoken promise hanging in the air between you.

“Next time,” he said, his voice a blend of a growl and a purr, “if you push me like that, you won’t get to cum so easily. Do you understand me?” He tilted his head slightly, studying your expression as if savoring the moment.

You swallowed hard, the mix of his authority and care electrifying. When you managed to nod, his thumb brushed softly against your jaw, a stark contrast to the intensity of his grip.

“Good,” he murmured, his lips curving into a satisfied smirk. He released your neck, his touch trailing down to your shoulder, and leaned back just enough to take in your flushed, breathless state.

“Now,” he continued, his tone playful yet resolute, “we’ve got a long way to go, darling. I’d suggest you keep up… for your sake.”

NETWORKS:

@blossomnet

@illusionnet

PERMANENT TAGLIST:

@mingleshine @musiclovingfairy @crazylittlebisexual @sanhwalvr @arki-sha @artistic-rendition @hongjoongtime117 @cypher-03 @peachy-bell26 @atiny1 @cursed-eastern ?, I can't find your acc 😞

#ateez fanfic #illusionnet #blossomnet #ateez x reader #mingi s dimples masterlist #ateez fic #ateez x y/n #fanfic #smut fic #ateez #ateez smut #smut #hongjoong x y/n #ateez hongjoong #hongjoong x reader #hongjoong #hongjoong dom

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lucid-loves · 1 day ago

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Feelings Reforged

Imagine: March carrying you home after you fall from a fever.

“Earth to Y/n? You shouldn’t space out while handling the forge.” March began to chastise like he always did, but you knew it came from his worry for you. You were zoning out a little too much for someone that was handling hot coals.

“Huh? Oh, sorry. . .” You simply apologized, a rosy blush creeping along your soft cheeks.

March quirked a thick brow, but didn’t question you further. It was nice that he tended to mind his own business in moments where it counted. It wasn’t like you were ready to confess your feelings for him just yet.

Besides thinking about how handsome he looked next to the light of the fire though, you were also starting to feel a little burnt out. You’ve been toiling away at the farm for a good two years without a real break trying to prove him wrong, that you were here in Mistria to stay, and to get money in your pockets.

Everyone was busy seemingly all the time, but even the hardest workers in town found the time to relax at the beach or at Juniper’s bathhouse. Even Adeline, the workaholic that she is, managed to fit in quality time with the girls.

There was a time where March noticed just how busy you were each week too during a Friday night at the Inn. Called it out too with a bright smile and invite you to the seat next to him. Yeah, he was drunk at the time, but he still noticed.

You hoped that he didn’t notice how you subtly swayed your head in lightheadedness.

“Pay attention. We don’t want any accidents.” He reprimanded again, quickly getting annoyed with how distracted you seemed. You asked him to teach you how to make more metal works. He had to make time out of his busy schedule for you. And now you were daydreaming? He could be getting through another order of nails by now.

“Sorry, March. Can you show me again?” You heavily sighed, placing your shaky hands in your pockets.

March gave an exasperated huff and struck his heavy hammer down on a molten shield, molding it to the perfect shape. “Strike like this. See how flat I made it? Not too thin, but not too thick either. You don’t want it to snap on impact or be too heavy to hold. Got it now?”

You nodded lazily and reached for the shield, your vision getting dark. A strong grip grasped your hands roughly before you could make contact with the project. “You idiot! The shield is like lava! Are you trying to burn your hands off?! Grab the forceps!”

An attempt at an apology was made, but it came out slurred as you caved into the fever. March stiffened as your body leaned into his, your eyes closing in sudden exhaustion. The feeling of his bare shoulder on your head felt cool to the touch, despite the both of you being near the hot forge. The blacksmith noticed that stark contrast in body temperature.

“H-Hey! Y/n?!” He held you up, once furrowed brows in annoyance now morphing into worry. He held you steady against him, feeling just how hot your forehead burned against his hand.

March looked around the area, hoping that someone from the small town was around to help out. When he noticed no one, he clicked his tongue and stepped up. Thanks to strength built by years of blacksmithery, you were light as a feather as he began to carry you home.

As he walked with you in his arms, he thought about how he should’ve noticed your fever sooner. You were zoning out a lot more than usual. You didn’t seem as energetic either, not like how you were every day. Now that he thought about it, he’s never really seen you not working.

And he thought he knew you better than this.

“You should take better care of yourself.” He scolded at your unconscious body. You stirred a bit in response, the side of your head nuzzling closer to March’s skin. He knew that you probably didn’t know that you were doing it, but he couldn’t help but start to redden. His ears were burning so hot that he could be the one with the fever.

The door to your house was unlocked, the town being safe enough to warrant such carelessness. March considered dropping you on the couch, but then decided that you would be more comfortable on the bed. Once you were settled down and tucked in, he took a moment to breathe from the long walk.

You were still warm and asleep, clearly sick from all your hard work. March bit his lip as he noticed how nicely decorated the house was. How organized and full your fields were with produce. He remembered when this land was nothing but a rotting home and overgrown grass.

He was wrong about you.

March brushed back some hair sticking to your sweaty face. “Sorry, Y/n. You’ve worked hard. I’m proud of you.”

He blushed hard at his own words, his heart going a mile a minute. More of your features began to come to light as he watched you sleep. How nice your lashes looked. How perfect your face contoured.

He’s tried so hard to push those invasive feelings down since the moment he met you. March didn’t want to have false hope about you. He didn’t want to get hurt. Yet, you have consistently proven yourself every single day.

Damn it, he was in love with you.

To distract himself from his feelings, he went to your kitchen to begin cooking. You were going to need something gentle on your body once you wake up.

#fom march #fom #fields of mistria march #fields of mistria #march x farmer #march x reader #march x you

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crabbunch · 3 days ago

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HAPPY BIRTHDAYY!!!!! clethubs goofing around !

yayyy thank you ^D^ have some clethubs trying to set up etho's gmail account

"Okay," Etho says, squinting down at his shitty old laptop. "I opened the browser, I think, so-"

"Is that Opera?" Cleo demands. "Why are you using Opera? You barely even know what Internet Explorer is!"

"I don't know! I haven't opened this thing in years!" Etho whines.

"Well, click off- this wasn't even on your taskbar! How did you get here?" Cleo demands. "Click the little circle there. It'll be easier to set this up in Google, anyways."

"He could use Firefox, you know," Bdubs says, leaning into Etho's side. "There's better email providers than Google- you never know what data Google is stealing."

"Shut up, Bdubs, Etho doesn't have to worry about that. He's boring," Cleo says, and then pauses. "Well, at least, he won't be using his gmail to say anything worth spying on. Honestly, I have my doubts that his account will ever see the light of day again after this."

"Cleo! You guys!" Etho wails. "I'm right here! And I'm- I'm a changed man! I'm learning all sorts of things about the internet! I'm definitely going to be checking my online mail all the time, so we should really get the best one!"

Cleo and Bdubs exchange a glance.

"I'm right here!" Etho insists again.

"Okay, Etho, let's just start out with something super easy and type something into the search bar," Cleo says,

Etho stares down at the keyboard. "...anything specific?"

"Duckduckgo has a email provider, but considering the lack of transparency they've shown in the past, I'm not sure I'd trust them," Bdubs says sagely. "Proton's pretty good, and anything Swedish is-"

"Bdubs, he doesn't know what that means," Cleo interrupts, and then pauses. "I don't know what that means. Type 'gmail.com' into the search bar, okay, Etho?"

"Okay," Etho says, and then slowly starts pecking out each letter, pausing to find each key.

"This is terrible," Bdubs whispers to Cleo in what he probably thinks is a discreet and private manner.

"I know, but we can't leave now. We've got to face this like men," Cleo says in a normal voice.

"I'm right here you guys!" Etho whines. "And I'm not that bad."

"You really are, dear. Hit enter now, it'll take you to the place where you can set up your gmail account," Cleo instructs him.

"Enter? Got it," Etho says confidently, and presses the enter key. The laptop's screen lags, caught between the search page and the gmail launcher, before suddenly loading a porn site.

A notification pops up in the bottom right corner- virus detected.

"Is that good?" Etho asks. The poor laptop, not designed for such strenuous activity and already years beyond its life expectancy, promptly catches fire.

#clethubs #ethoslab #zombiecleo #bdoubleo100 #hermitfic

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maodear · 18 hours ago

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This is me yapping about alien stage to its fullest. I Mostly yap abt round 7 and the video All-in

Till is alive. I think. Because in the end of round 7, his little stupid picture flicks. And his earpiece that probably tracks his heart rate ((checking on his breathing probably??) fell out. So that’s why it flickers since the alien doesn’t know if he’s still alive or not.

SO. HYUNA & MIZI CAN GRAB HIS ASS AND RUN AWAY. ((And I guess Luka too..)

Though realistically, I think Till will survive due to him having such a big role in alien stage. I don’t think Vivinos is THAT evil to let him die, if Ivan already sacrificed himself.

But I do think that Hyuna and Luka will definitely go against each other. (Or what if Till survives and goes against Mizi or smth.. and Hyuna goes against Luka. ???) because 3 is a odd number. (Yeah I didn’t know) Having 3 go against each other would be difficult. Why have 3 when you could get 4? And two more bonus rounds am I right? ((Please leave till alone. He’s my son. Yes I am his mom. Canon.)

Mizi and Hyuna will definitely get captured. No way they will be able to get out of a stage. FILLED with aliens all round. No way. Unless Dewey & Issac bomb the whole place and happy ending.

One of the most anticipated to happen is Hyuna and Luka going against each other. Maybe finally would Luka will show fear? And crack his “perfect” appearance. I would love to see him break because of Hyuna.

As much as I love Hyuluka. It cannot work, because Luka (maybe?) killed Hyunas brother. I have no idea how Hyuna could possibly forgive him.

Unless.. he didn’t? ((Which he probably did but let me cook. I want some hope.)

((Yes he probably did. But I want to put this theory somewhere)

In Hyunas All-in video, during the flashback to the Hyun-woo and Luka “fight” Luka was bleeding from the side of his head,but when looking at Hyun-woo’s hand. He had no blood on his hand? What if the fight was started by Hyun-woo? Possibly since Luka was rather odd to Hyuna. I don’t think Luka would start a fight, due to his conditions. It doesn’t click in my mind for him to fight. What if Hyun-woo hit him on the rock first? I mean hyun-woo didn’t have any blood on his hand. The whole scene isn’t shown. We don’t el know what fully happened. Not saying Hyun-woo is in the bad AT ALL. If he did, then Luka for sure deserved it. And maybe a fight broke out. Causing Luka to kill Hyun-woo.

Luka probably wasn’t that old in that time. Most can be 15. At that age, no matter what. The feeling of killing is horrid. Yes maybe Luka did intend to hurt him. But not kill him. Has it been shown in comics. It did show that Luka and Hyun-woo would fight and Hyuna would break them up. I mean boys usually fight. Look and Ivan and Till.

I read a theory that said Luka might have PBA. Which causes you to laugh,smile or giggle in inappropriate situations. Even if you don’t truly find it funny or even if you’re actually horrified.

And do remember that Heperu taught Luka to overcome Fear. Possibly he messed up Luka that much, to make him laugh or smile even if he is truly scared. (Which also explains why he is also shown trembling.)

No way am I saying Luka is innocent. He’s a bitch but I feel like people do forget that he is also a victim as everyone else. Alien stage is a fucked up show, which Vivinos will not let us be happy 😭 We can only be happy in the Actor Au..

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runningatypufullspeed · 8 months ago

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WOULD YOU GUYS LIKE TO SEE MY FUGLY UGLY ASS ALLEGORY OF THE CAVE X FAHRENHEIT 451 CROSSOVER DRAWING THAT I WAS FORCED TO DO FOR SCHOOL….. ITS SO UGLY AND MONTAG IS

WHITE.

AND THE HOUNDS ARE DISGUSTING THE COLORING IS SO SHITTY AND MILDRED …. Well ok she looks alright kindof but the COLORING ….. SKETCH WAS BETTER but do you guys. Do you still want to see it…….,,,,,,

ALSO NO OFFENSE TO WHITE PEOPLE PLEASE I LOVE YOU GUYS 🫶😁👍 within reason

#like ok maybe it isn’t. THAT bad #NO NO I TAKE THAT BACK I JUST LOOKED AT IT RIGHT NOW AND THE COMPOSITION IS ALL FUCKING VOER THE PLACE #IT. IT IS. THAT BAD #IF YOU GUYS SAY YESS YOULL SEE #ok but nasty bad art aside I know some of you will be asking why white Montag is such a bad thing and #there isn’t anything wrong with it!!! it’s just that for me personally #after I did a bit more thinking I was. physically incapable of perceiving Montag as anything other than POC/nonwhite #so when I look back at my old f451 art and stare into the eyes of a pale skittish twink it just #it doesn’t click. like that isn’t MY Montag if ykwim #now trembling BROWN skittish twink. that’s a different story #AGAIN I DONT have any issues with ppl making their own versions white I just think that . for me specifically. he looked a bit funny #a little off. a bit too crackerish for my liking #where is bros melanin 😭#I’m complaining right now but if I wanted to I could just… go in and try and make the skin tone darker #I might do that depending on how tired I feel after doomscrolling #also if it matters even though I have read the book over at least 8 times now not once have I touched either of the movies.#and it will STAY THAT WAY. until I completely log my notes for the book #then I can move on to the movies 🥰#but I will admit 2018 did sort of lead me to having a change of heart w my design. just a little. just a teensy bit. kinda. sort of?#actually not really now that I think about it #I have my own reasons.#TOO MANY WHITE PEOPLE MY EYES THEY BURN AAAYHHHHH MY EYES OW OW OW OWIEEEE #my Beatty design was so white that my eyes developed stage 4 cataracts #I needed a palate cleanser that WASNT Millie… oh god my Millie design…#she was white there too. terrible #it’s okay… 💔 I’ve since learned and moved on #ARGH GUYS I DONT HATE WHITE PEOPLE I JUST THINK THAT MORE SKIN COLOR VARIATIONS WOULD E NICE

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its-maemain · 9 months ago

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I'm not getting over how last night I went on a tangent about Gotham and Metropolis, and Batman lore

And very early on I say Gotham is in New Jersey. The most thick laughter came out of my father as he stirs my mothers soup and he says, “It is? Of course it is. No wonder it's so fucked up.”

I love my parents but good god, father you never hear me till I'm talking straight at ya

#like he did NOT know and I could see it all click into place on his face #LIKE EVERYTHING MADE SENSE IN THAT MOMENT #I've been complaining and explain the actual lore of superman and batman to parents at they make dinners and I do dishes #my mom enjoys me learning about the actual comics and such #she's encouraging me to send her comics to buy for my birthday. and not for my birthday.#I think it's mostly cause her dad threw out all her comics when she was younger. she's healing a bit of her inner child with me #he also threw random other stuff she collected too. STUFF SHE COULD HAVE SOLD TO GET MONEY IN A PINTCH!!#like she collects rocks again. she's quit smoking. she started reading again when she was pregnant with me. all things her father prevented #yeah not getting into that #I'm done #anyway my father knows nothing and it's funny sometimes #my dad #gotham

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shotmrmiller · 9 months ago

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it turned to smut in seconds, i cannot control my own hands, ok. 18+ (implication of breeding kink or something and simon's a jealous boy)

ex-husband simon who signed the divorce papers without a fight. it'd stung, you're not gonna lie, but it needed to be done and the fact that he didn't make a big fuss about it made things easier for you physically. (emotionally you were in shambles because did he not even want to try and fight for you?)

he comes over only on the weekends when he's on leave.

he's a good father to his boys. he takes them to their softball games when he can, buys them the ice cream and takes them toy shopping.

and then there's a sharp knock at your door on a wednesday afternoon.

"simon?"

he walks in like he owns the place, which technically he does- even pays the mortgage because there's no way you would be able to afford living here with your own measly income.

"what's this the boys are tellin' me 'bout a man bein' in here?" his voice is calm, steady. but you know simon better than you know yourself, and he's furious.

"i- i'm not sure-" he swipes his hand in the air and your mouth clicks shut.

"don't lie t'me, poppet, or i'll be findin' him myself an' you really don't want tha'."

what man? there hasn't been any since the divorce! you're digging through your memories, scrambling to find what the hell he's talking about when-

"oh! it's the plumber!" you take steadying breath. "i called a plumber on sunday. i needed the kitchen sink fixed."

his dark eyes are piercing, so sharp they could cut. simon's always been a walking lie detector, and it's unnerving to be on the opposite end of that analyzing stare.

he nods imperceptibly, then flicks his gaze to behind you, over your head. "show me."

you scoff indignantly. "show you what? the bloody sink?"

simon wordlessly heads to the kitchen and his knees pop as he kneels-

he's actually checking the fucking sink.

with a grunt, he leans his head into the cabinet and twist awkwardly which is no doubt causing a familiar pain to flare up in his lower back. you can't help but wince in sympathy.

lo and behold, there's a shiny, white elbow in the middle of the rest of the dirty, scratched pipe.

he hums, and rises to his feet, closing the cabinet with his leg.

simon approaches you slowly, fingertips touching the kitchen island as he rounds it. "palms flat on the counter, sweetheart."

oh. oh you know exactly what that means, and your pussy throbs almost in reflex. months without his touch and your body still responds the same.

your protest already at the tip of your tongue, almost involuntarily because principles, but he sees right through you, as he's always done.

"jus' a reward for all o' your hard work. takin' care o' the boys is a stressful job all on its own." his worn hand cups the underside of your jaw tenderly. "aren't i always good t'ya?"

your exhales are weak, just like your resolve. "okay."

simon's eyes glint with satisfaction as he lifts his hand, index pointing upwards and twirls it in a slow, deliberate motion.

your palms are flat on the counter when he curls his fingers into the waistband of your shorts and knickers, tugging them downward.

they're flat on the counter when he lowers himself to his knees and taps the inside of your foot, indicating you to widen your stance.

they're curled into fists when his breath puffs against your slick cunt and his warm tongue slides through your folds, drawing lazy circles around your bud. a tingle of arousal shoots up your spine, his mouth sparking a fire right under your navel.

they're reaching for simon, nails sinking into the delicate skin of his wrist as your back bows when you come on his tongue, vision spotted with black, blurry dots and white hot ecstasy coursing through your veins.

your hands are now crossed at the base of your spine, your cheek pressing into the cool kitchen counter as he bends you over it.

"15 minutes before the boys are home from school. tha's plenty o'time, yeah?"

a rhetorical, if you've ever heard one.

your knuckles stain white as you clench your fists at the heavy, hot weight of his manhood stretching your walls to take him in, a sweet burn that you've always loved. he's gentle but sure, bottoming out in one smooth stroke that pushes the air out of your lungs. the sibilant hiss simon lets out is never fails to elicit a whimper out of you.

"fuck," he groans. "i could stay inside this pretty pussy forever."

and the dirty talk. how much you've missed it.

"would you like tha', pet? be inside of ya til you don't know where i end and you begin?"

a garbled mhm slips past your lips. your head already empty at just the sensation of being so unbearably full that it feels like you're tearing at the seams.

"another time, then, since the kids'll be home soon."

he begins to move, shallow but firm thrusts that drag his cock along your nerves deliciously- a sure fire way of getting you to climax around him in minutes.

your walls begin to squeeze down as the knot in your stomach tightens, and he lets go of your wrists, looping an arm around your waist and straightens you- his broad chest to your much smaller back.

his clever fingers wind downwards, and rub precise, little circles on your slippery clit, and it's all too much, you're hurtling toward the precipice at neck break speed- "god, simon, please-"

his pace never falters, not his hips nor his fingers as your moans begin to rise in pitch. "i'll get ya there, love."

he does, he gets you to your highest peak- blindingly intense- one that chokes the very breath out of you and slackens your knees. "i've got ya."

there's no strength left in you to brace for the spine-jarring thrusts he gives after, the only thing keeping you from sprawling forward is the arm that's looped around you as he pulls you to him.

"on anything?" he rumbles.

your ears ring at that because he can't possibly- your head shakes unbidden.

"good."

the last four thrusts are heavy, backed by his weight, and he smothers a loud groan into the junction of your shoulder as he finishes inside of you- thick, viscous cum filling you until it begins to drip and fall to the floor with an audible plop.

he presses tender little kisses to your sweaty shoulder and nips the side of your neck. "just in time."

the clock on the stove says 5 minutes before the bus gets there.

he helps you redress, chuckling under his breath when you won't look him in the eye. "i'll get the kids, go get cleaned up."

the knot in your chest loosens when you hear the boys' laughter at seeing their father on the driveway. it loosens when simon picks both of them up, one in each arm, and glances up at you as you look down at them from the window.

heat licks up your cheeks when he gives you a smarmy little grin.

idiot.

#call of duty #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x f reader #simon ghost riley smut #simon ghost riley x reader #cod mw2 #simon ghost riley x you #simon riley smut #cod smut #cod mwii #simon riley #ghost smut

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in-class-daydreams · 4 months ago

Text

Imagine you're still furious with ex-husband Gojo over his behavior regarding the flowers from your "secret admirer."

You put on a happy face for the Sister School Exchange Event, however. For the sake of sportsmanship (and safety), your son, Sen, is heavily restricted. He's a great asset to his team all the same and the Tokyo team have two of their strongest students ready to intercept him.

"The brat's showing off too much. His form's sloppy," Sukuna says from the seat beside you.

"He's been telling me how the two of you have been doing some brutal conditioning lately," you comment with your eyes fixed on the screen.

Sukuna scoffs. "Not brutal enough, apparently."

And it's that attitude that secured Sukuna's place as your son's favorite teacher a long time ago.

Imagine that in-between the major conflicts of the event, you and ex-husband Gojo get to have a longer conversation without your son jumping to your rescue.

For once, Satoru isn't trying to flirt with you. He's watching the image of his son running through the woods battling curses without breaking a sweat. They may have vicious, gut-wrenching fights at times, but one could not deny how in awe Satoru was of his son.

"He's so talented," he murmurs more to himself than you. He leans back in his seat, gaze hidden by his blindfold. "You did a great job," he tells you softly.

You put your hand over his - the first tender contact you've initiated with him in perhaps years.

"So did you," you reply.

"Please. The kid hates me."

"He doesn't see it now, but I know that you did what you thought was best for him." You give his hand a little squeeze. Romance or not, divorce or not, you and Satoru have always understood each other unlike anyone else. You knew he had to choose between being in Sen's life and keeping him safe.

By the time team battles ended, you'd forgotten what you were even mad at him for.

Imagine you and ex-husband Gojo proceed with the Sister School Exchange event on good terms.

Which is why you feel so guilty when while Satoru is occupied with catching up with Yuji during the transition between events, your gaze falls on the man you've been avoiding eye-contact with all day.

You see him tapping away on his phone. When he looks up, he smirks and hits send on whatever message he was typing. Heat creeps up your face and you quickly avert your eyes.

A moment later, your phone vibrates. It feels like it's burning a hole in your pocket, but you force yourself to wait a minute so it's not obvious.

After what feels like ages (but is really only about a minute), you allow yourself to check your messages.

[11:27 am] Hope you liked the flowers, beautiful. Rika helped me pick them out <3

Edit: Reader and Gojo are approaching their 40’s in this, Sen is 18, Yuta is approaching 30. Just to make that clear.

Click [here] for more of Sen being mean to his dad | Ask stuff about Sen and the fam [here]

#tbh feel like a cooked with this one #the plot thickens #rip gojo #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen #jjk imagines #jjk x reader #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru #gojo sentaro

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lokissweater · 2 months ago

Text

little mouse

{toge inumaki x f!reader}

summary: toge inumaki, the barista at your local campus coffee shop, is the cutest man to ever cross your life— the both of you clicking fast and becoming the best of friends as the years flew by together… but you were in love. uncertain of crossing that line between friendship and lovers as you focused mainly on trying to see if he even liked you back. but as for toge? he was focused on trying not to burden you for the rest of your life because of his inability to speak, wanting you and only you, but juggling and tormented over his labored silent existence, hurting you in the process.

warnings: MDNI. afab!reader, college!au, FLUUUFFFF SO MUCH, pet names, TOGE LOVES YOU BROOO, angst!!! but with comfort!!, happy ending, SMUTTTT, p in v sex, fingering, creampie, doggy hehe, mentions of alcohol and drinking, sorority party, toge is a barista ouuu, cursing, best friends to lovers trope, reader and toge argue, all characters are aged up.

word count: 15.2k

authors note: YEEEOOOOWWWWW this fic was originally NOOTTTT supposed to be 15k but i’ve said it once and i’ll say it again I CAN NEVA STOP YAPPING MY GOD??? i hope you guys love this one as much as i do though it is SOOOOOO CUTEEE man :(( thank you SO SO MUCH for your love and support as ALWAYS, AND I LOVE YOUUUU AHHH MWAH MWAH HAVE A GOOD DAY OKAY <333

anyone that was a regular at the shop knew toge inumaki didn’t really ever speak.

and it was something you found out on your first day of college, running to the nearest coffee shop at eight-thirty in the fucking morning looking for something to snack on and wake you up before lecture, choosing to go to the one just around the corner from campus through a recommendation of a friend— but not knowing at all that you were about to run into the cutest man to ever plague your god damn existence, as well as your bestest friend in the entire world.

toge was the main barista and cashier at the shop, his mixology skill incomparable as no one else on the floor could replicate it successfully without errors the way he did— ringing customers up while simultaneously throwing coffee bases and syrups in a blender, topping each corresponding one with whipped cream on various orders before sliding it over to the pick up counter, all without even breaking a sweat through the times that you’ve shamefully watched him work from your little table before or after classes.

the first time you met him, you thought he was just having a bad day… and that he also hated you.

you had politely told him your order while at the same time ogling his handsome face— a small and simple sweet vanilla cold brew drink with a little blueberry scone on the side— when toge didn’t even spare you a glance and just tapped in your order on the screen, turning the tablet over to showcase the total before moving to the back to get started on your drink, not a single word leaving his scarf covered mouth as you silently paid and got a table.

it’s not like you were expecting anything out of it, but you hoped you would at least catch the color of his eyes before you had to leave.

and it went on like that for a total of four days— you saying the exact same order but just switching up the little pastry depending on your mood (it only consisting of your usual three— blueberry scone, cake pop, and cheese danish), toge’s eyes never leaving the register or drinks he made as you waited, and him sliding over your order in record time as he got started on attending the next customer.

on the fifth day, toge finally looked up.

the way he took your order didn’t change, but when it came to placing it over the pick up counter where you stood, your eyes widened when you noticed he was already looking at you, a grin on his face as he personally handed you your drink instead of sliding it over.

his eyes were purple.

and you just about fucking screamed, your days of hopelessly coming in to try and ridiculously take longer peeks at his face whenever you could finally paying off in that moment— and not expecting whatsoever to see the sides of his mouth marked with tattooed snake eyes either.

that day was also the day you noticed toge knew sign language.

most of the time toge took orders quickly without a word and punched in requests, but from time to time when a customer had a question about a menu item or what the passcode to the bathroom was, he always had a little whiteboard next to him with a black marker to scribble out what he needed to say— regulars already knowing how he communicated and not batting a single strange eye.

but on that day, a new customer came in that you didn’t recognize to be a regular, signing to one of the confused employees at the cash register until the employee turned around and tapped toge on the shoulder, pointing and saying words you couldn’t really hear before he quickly nodded and put down the blender he was holding, going over to sign.

you were mesmerized by it, the way his hands and fingers came together and away from each other to form different words and sentences completely unknown to those who didn’t understand the language, something that was beautiful to you and made you want to actually learn so you could potentially have the liberty to talk to him some time in the future if you could.

the next time you came into the shop early in the morning, toge was at the register. and upon seeing you walk in, he smoothly looked down and started typing away already on the screen, seemingly not listening and leaving you standing there confused.

“um—” you stammered. “can i…”

you trailed off as you watched him pick up his whiteboard and uncap the marker, scribbling.

‘i remembered your order.’

you froze, your heart doing enormous leaps considering this was the first time toge actually spoke to you apart from getting your order down and smiling at you.

“oh! really?” you laughed nervously. “…do i come in here too often then?”

he gave you a friendly grin and shook his head, erasing what he had before writing again.

‘do you want a blueberry scone, cake pop, or cheese danish?’

your eyes bulged. “you know that too?!”

he laughed, the sound making your hands clammy as you giggled along with him shyly.

“i’ll do a cake pop today!” you smiled. “i’m running a little late and that’s— easy to eat.. you know—”

he gave you a thumbs up and nodded, signaling with his head for you to wait by the pick up counter as he scribbled another few words, turning the whiteboard around.

‘i’ll see you tomorrow :)’

your cheeks flushed pink.

“y—yeah!” you spoke gingerly. “i’ll see you toge.”

the next few times after that toge would absolutely beam whenever you came into the shop, having already scribbled down your three choices of your usual pastries before having it ready for you at the pick up counter once you chose, even every now and then asking you a simple thing or two about your classes and major from the register as you sat by your table, him propping his little whiteboard up for you to see.

and ever since you saw that toge knew sign language, you wanted to know too, your desire to communicate with him more efficiently a silly priority on your mind as you signed up for entry level sign language courses at your college, trying to learn as much as you possibly could so it’d be easier for him not always having to step back and write.

“wait wait!” you put your hands out one slow morning upon arriving at the shop, toge stopping mid tap on the screen just as he was about to input your order, eyeing you.

your fingers shook a little as you slowly signed your order and choice of pastry for the day, trying to remember and grasp what you practiced repeatedly the night before, hoping your efforts would successfully come across and that you didn’t look like a fucking idiot.

but his focused eyes followed your movements, carefully watching you sign with pinched brows until you eventually finished— a slow pearly white smile spreading across is face as his gaze flickered to yours before writing on his whiteboard, turning it.

‘you know sign language?’

“barely!” you sputtered. “i um.. i started taking classes a couple of months ago but i’m not very good… did you— get it though? what i said?”

he quickly nodded.

‘it was a little choppy but good! good job y/n :)’

you breathed out a sigh of relief, a hand over your hammering chest as you swallowed.

“oh thank god.” you breathed. “i was worried i looked stupid or was accidentally telling you something weird.”

he laughed and waved you off, a slight tint to his cheeks as he wrote.

‘how’s learning it overall?’

“hard as fuck.” you mumbled, but peering up at him with a smile. “i’m trying though! i really love the language and i love learning it… it’s just hard because my professor kind of sucks and teaches it too fast.”

he hummed, moving around in the back while preparing your order before coming around through the little swinging door and over to your usual table, you standing dumbfounded at the register still as he stood there with your pastry and his whiteboard.

toge pointed to your seat.

“oh!” you gasped, walking over and taking a seat, smiling gratefully once he placed your coffee and cheese danish down for you, but stiffening once he scooched the chair out across from you and sat, your cheeks ablaze again.

“you wanna—” you looked at him with furrowed brows. “you wanna sit with me?”

he laughed a little and nodded.

“but the…” you pointed to the cash register.

he uncapped his marker and wrote, turning the board over.

‘it’s a slow day. if someone comes in i’ll just go.’

“oh— okay!” you breathed out nervously, wringing your fingers together as you kept them on your lap.

your thoughts were speeding across every corner of your mind, not knowing exactly why toge chose to sit with you right now but hanging on to the moment anyways, you anxiously trying to come up with things to say to get to know him a little better.

“i like your um..” you pointed to the corners of your mouth. “—your tattoos. did they hurt?”

he smiled and wrote.

‘thanks :) and not really, my throat hurts more than the tattooing itself hehe.’

your eyes snapped up to his.

“your throat?” you asked softly. “is it okay?”

‘oh it’s fine!’ he wrote. ‘well no but it just hurts a lot when i talk so i just don’t.’

you hummed in understanding, the missing puzzle as to why exactly toge never spoke out loud to anyone in the first place finally clicking into place.

“i’m sorry toge…” you expressed sweetly. “have you tried— well i assume you have but… like getting it checked out? or maybe honey with lemon or—”

he turned his board around.

‘yeah :P nothing really works. L for me.’

you giggled, and he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth in a smile.

‘can you show me what else you know in sign language?’

“ohhh this is it.” you swallowed. “you’re about to laugh in my face and think i’m stupid.”

he laughed and gave you a look.

‘you’re silly. just show me.’

you huffed before timidly showing him very basic simple phrases that you managed to pick up from class out of the millions that were shown— short choppy kiddy words that didn’t even serve to get by in a quick conversation, but enough for simple one worded responses.

“oh! and i like this one the most!—” you put the bases of your palms together and rubbed a little.

toge let out a squeaky cute laugh as he watched you before quickly picking up his marker and writing.

‘cheese? your favorite thing to sign is cheese?’

“yeah!—” you giggled shyly. “it’s funnn! and i never fuck it up.”

he nodded with a gleam in his eye.

‘i could teach you sign language if you want.’

you froze, eyes wide as you looked at him.

“seriously?” you quickly leaned forward. “are— are you sure? you definitely don’t have to at all toge… i don’t want to burden you or anything.”

his eyebrows furrowed and he shook his head.

‘not burden at all.’ he wrote. ‘i’m a lazy fart i don’t do much besides this so it’s fine.’

you giggled and nodded excitedly, a hopeful shine in your eyes as you looked at him.

“o—okay!” you agreed. “i’d like that a lot… thank you toge!”

he was so nice.

and just as he was about to write something else, a customer came through the doors and up to the cash register, toge quickly scribbling something down before standing and showing you, walking backwards.

‘i’ll talk to you later little mouse :)’

you laughed loudly, a hand flying over your mouth as you did.

that nickname stuck.

“bye toge!” you responded kindly, gathering your things before heading out for the day with your coffee and pastry.

unfortunately for you, midterm season came and knocked the absolute shit out of you for a week, you unable to go back to the coffee shop to see toge until it was all fucking over, your heart heavy over the fact that you literally failed your sign language test, but giddy and excited nonetheless to finally see him after a while and go back to your usual happy routine.

and as for toge, he was left utterly confused.

was he too forward? did you think it was weird when he called you little mouse? did you think he was weird?

was it something he did? why had you stopped coming into the shop after going in continuously for like weeks at this point?

and he had just gotten the courage to look you in the eye too.

toge literally had your order ready every single day with your three pastries warmed up and toasted if need be, your sweet vanilla cold brew drink ready to go the moment you walked through those doors at any given point and time… but you just didn’t come. him leaning on the register counter bored out of his mind and dejected over the disappearance of the pretty nice girl that always came in and talked to him at his work, ending up always drinking the coffee he made for you silently and munching on the three pastries you chose between when it was time to close.

but when you finally came in, early in the morning like you always did and looking forward to seeing him again— toge was hunched over the counter with his chin propped up on his hand like he had been for the past week, you unknowing of that as you walked over with a smile.

“hi toge!”

he shot up, eyes wide with his palms flat on the counter.

“y/n!—”

he spoke.

toge spoke and he immediately cowered over in a fit of painful sounding coughs that racked through his body, his mouth shoved into his elbow as he quickly pushed through the doors and walked to the back, leaving you there wide eyed and completely fucking shocked.

he said your name.

“toge..?” you called softly, timidly as you leaned over the counter to try and catch a look at him from inside the employee break room, still hearing faint coughing. “hey— are you okay?”

he returned to the floor chugging back a bottle of cough syrup like nothing before tossing it into the nearest bin and swallowing, snatching his marker to write on the mini whiteboard, holding it up.

‘where the fuck have you been?’

you looked at him with an apologetic little face, your eyes soft.

“i’m sorryyy!” you whined. “i’m so sorry it was midterm week for me and i was grinding so hard and i just didn’t have time to come in… it was torture.”

you guiltily bit your lip. “…are you mad at me?”

he shook his head slowly, his shoulders visibly relaxing at the confirmation that it wasn’t anything he did that could’ve potentially put you off.

‘not at all mouse :P.’ he wrote before reaching to the side and sliding over your already made coffee and three pastries, lined up.

and surprise crossed your face.

“you had it ready?” you gasped. “toge! thank you!”

you quickly opened your book bag and he placed a hand over your arm, stopping you and shaking his head ‘no.’

“no?” you asked softly. “what do you mean? i’m just gonna pay.”

toge only shook his head again with a small smile, nudging his head over for you to sit at your usual table.

your shoulders slumped. “now what would you do if i just burst out crying right now.”

he laughed loudly and let go of your arm to write, leaving a burning fuzzy feeling on your skin in return.

‘cry? why?’

“because you’re so nice!” you whined. “please let me pay. i already feel bad not coming in for a week… especially after you offered to teach me sign language.”

‘go sit down mouse. i’ll sit with you in a little bit.’

you begrudgingly stood in place before nodding and taking your drink with your bag of pastries, walking over to the side and plopping down on a seat.

toge had a bit of a rush in and couldn’t join you for nearly an hour, him constantly shooting you apologetic looks and you frantically waving him off and reassuring him that it was okay, you astronomically thankful that you didn’t have class that day until later in the evening.

but when the rush was eventually over, toge dropped down on the seat across from yours with a big tired sigh and his whiteboard, head down.

you gently poked his arm then, and he looked up.

“is your throat okay?” you asked, face serious. “and you?”

he nodded, giving you a warm smile before grabbing his marker.

‘it happens sometimes, i just slipped up. L for me again.’

you smiled sadly and retracted your hand from across the table to settle back over your lap.

“i like your voice… if that makes you feel any better.” you spoke shyly, looking down at your fingers.

toge bit the inside of his cheek and smiled cheekily.

‘thanks mouse… but i know something that’ll make me feel even better hehe.’

“what?” you asked curiously.

he wrote.

‘give me your number before you disappear on me again you little rat.’

“hey!” you whined. “i thought i was a mouse..”

he chuckled cutely and nudged your foot gently from underneath the table, erasing and writing again.

‘i’m just kidding. we need to set up those sign language lessons soon though :D.’

and at the reminder of that you groaned, body slumping over the table as toge eyed you confusedly.

“you’re gonna laugh. or be mad. or disappointed. or all three..” you mumbled, voice slightly muffled.

he poked your head repeatedly and you lifted it, chin resting lazily on the table as he looked at you expectantly.

“i failed my sign language midterm.”

toge snorted but quickly slapped a hand over his mouth, and you whined again before shoving your face back down as he quickly shook you by the shoulders, trying to get you to look up again.

“no no no i’m a disgrace i’m a failure i studied so fucking hard for nothing it’s over i’m not cut out—”

he kept shaking and delicately pinching you before you finally looked up again.

“what.” you mumbled, eyes dragging to his propped up whiteboard.

‘i’m sorry i laughed… but don’t worry you’ll pass the next one. you’ll be okay.’

“and how do you know.” you grumbled.

‘because now you have delicious me, duh :P’

you giggled softly and lifted yourself from the table, leaning back against your chair.

he gave you a warm knowing smile before writing again.

‘cheer up mouse… i promise i’ll help you.’

a slow cutesy grin spread across your face, one that made him swallow hard as you looked at him through your lashes.

“thank you toge… do you— do you work tomorrow?”

his gaze flickered up in thought before he shook his head, eyes landing back on yours.

“maybe we could start… tomorrow? if you’re free? and if— if it’s okay of course!” you stammered nervously, gnawing at your bottom lip as you waited for his response.

his cheeks fluttered pink a little before quickly nodding.

“okay!” you breathed excitedly. “great! we could do it here? or—”

he frantically shook his head no and uncapped his marker.

‘my dickhead manager will pull me to work if i’m here on my day off.’

you laughed and nodded. “okay not here then.. where? we can try my place but i already know my parents are gonna be annoying about bringing a guy over so..”

he smiled and looked down to write.

‘we can do my apartment mouse. i live alone.’

your eyes widened. “you have your own place? really?”

he slowly nodded.

“that’s so cool toge! oh my goodness i can’t wait to see it now!”

you bounced enthusiastically in your seat and he chuckled, perplexed as to why you would ever be excited to see something like that, but choosing not to question it.

‘it’s kind of small, and i mainly just sleep and be lazy if i’m not working or streaming.’

you tilted your head. “streaming..?”

he pursed his lips and looked down again to scribble, an embarrassed undertone to his face before propping the whiteboard up.

‘i play games and stream to earn extra money on the side like a little loser.’

you giggled, your eyebrows slightly furrowing before relaxing. “why would that make you a little loser toge? you’re making money while doing something you like… i think that’s really fun!”

an eager attractive grin ran across his face before quickly writing again.

‘i’m glad you think so :) but give me your number neow.’

“oh that’s right!” you beamed, taking his offered whiteboard and marker before quickly writing down your number with a heart in the corner, passing it back.

“just text me whenever and we can set a time for tomorrow okay?”

he nodded, his eyes trained to the heart you drew.

for the rest of his shift, toge spent it bouncing around between your table and back to the cash register to take orders and make drinks, seemingly finishing each beverage ten times fucking faster than usual just so he could come over and talk to you before you had to leave again for your evening class.

but you didn’t want to leave whatsoever, and you even juggled the possibility of skipping class to stay longer with toge, but the next class happened to be sign language, and you didn’t want to fail another fucking midterm by not showing up and missing material.

you threw your trash away before grabbing your book bag and slinging it over your shoulder once it was time, you slowly and timidly trying to get toge’s attention as you walked to the exit.

your shy raised hand caught his eye in between him blending and pouring drinks, toge quickly putting everything down and reaching for the whiteboard from the register, erasing whatever he had from a previous customer to write and flipping it over with a silly smile.

‘bye mouse!’ it read. ‘i’ll see you tomorrow! :P.’

and that was nearly two and a half years ago, the heart you drew in the corner of his whiteboard still there to this day as he answered questions, responded, or scribbled directions in any given situation with it no matter if it was in or outside of work— always wanting to have a little part of you with him wherever he went.

toge also kept his promise and taught you sign language, you trying so so fucking hard every waking day you spent with him at his cute little studio apartment— learning phrases and properly constructing it into sentences that actually made sense as you both sat sprawled on the floor for hours on end, him patient and kind as he watched you shakily sign and accept his gentle corrections with an open mind.

but although your sentences were continuously choppy and a little off at that point in time, they were definitely in way better condition than when you tried to study and learn it on your own… and toge was unsurprisingly a really good teacher— ten times more helpful than your literal freaking licensed professor whom you had started with, as toge would actually take the time to write and explain each concept in the best way he possibly could for you to understand.

now you were comfortable enough with it to respond in very simple sentences and phrases, but stronger at understanding it whenever toge signed to you, a plus when he clumsily forgot his whiteboard somewhere or when he just didn’t want to use it.

and ever since that first day you went over to his place to learn and study, you literally never went a day without going back again, your cute routine with him being going to his apartment every second of the day to hang out with him or do the things that you needed to do— some that could easily be done in your own space and home and room, but you refusing to for the sole purpose of wanting to be with toge all of the time, him feeling the exact same way and going as far as to giving you a copy of the key to his apartment.

(toge :D): MOUSE

your phone buzzed repeatedly just as you were walking up the steps to toge’s floor, you nearly dropping it over the uncontrollable buzz.

(toge :D): LITTLE MOUSE

(you): YES <3

(toge :D): ouuu a heart?? i didn’t know we were married :P

you let out a giggle and quickly typed a response, your face hot.

(you): mmm i don’t know my ring finger is quite literally bare right now :/ maybe next time!

(toge :D): YOOOOO

(toge :D): it’s because it’s gonna be under your pillow

(toge :D): like from the tooth fairy

(toge :D): a big shiny cock

(toge :D): I MEAN ROCK

(toge :D): ROCK I MEANT ROCK SORRY

you burst out laughing as you readjusted your book bag on your shoulder and turned the corner, nearing his apartment number.

(toge :D): …please still come over

(toge :D): oh wait that’s why i texted you! :P

(toge :D:) WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU

(toge :D): YOU’RE LATE MOUSE

(you): LMFAAOOO

(you): IM COMMINGGGG i’m literally down the hall sir

(you): but now that you yelled at me HMMMM i don’t feel like going today <//3

(toge :D): NO

(toge :D): i’m sorry i’m on my knees

(toge :D): i’m begging

(toge :D): i even brought you a blueberry scone from work

(toge :D): and i’ll buy you whatever you want

(toge :D): FUCK COME OVER NOOOWWWWW

(you): SAY PLEASE AND ADDRESS ME CORRECTLY

(toge :D): PLEEEAASSEEE MOUUSEE

you bit your lip in attempts at suppressing your giddy smile, it not really fucking working as you arrived at his door, pulling your keys out from your bag and shuffling through them to find his— one that had a tiny onigiri design on it.

(you): coming!! <33

(toge :D): so you’re saying we’re married again :P

the door clicked open upon you twisting the key in, stepping inside before closing it behind you while juggling your textbooks and locking it, toge seated on his little gaming chair when he swiveled around and waved at you with a big smile, standing.

“toge!” you gasped exhaustedly, stepping over to him. “you have got to help me please my god—”

he grabbed the textbooks from your arms and walked over to his desk, setting them down before turning back around and giving you a curious look.

‘what’s wrong?’ he signed.

“everything! everything is wrong sign language two is not for the weak oh my goodness gracious—”

you flopped down with your back flat on his bed, eyes shut in agony as he watched you amusedly.

“my professor’s teaching us grammar now and it just gets harder! i don’t know where to properly put anything or— or sign anything.”

he giggled softly and you peeked an eye open, looking at him.

‘i’ll help you mouse.’ he signed, stretching a hand out and you taking it, letting him pull you up to sit as you lazily did so.

“but i ask you too much.” you pouted. “and i feel bad every time i do, especially when you’re playing.”

he snorted, going over to his little dining table and pulling out a chair, lifting it over to his desk gaming set up area and placing it down before ushering you over with his hand.

“nuh uh.” you shook your head.

toge gave you a half lidded look and sat on the dining chair, him always saving his big comfy gaming chair for you whenever you sat with him at his desk since the first time you came over— his eyes expectant.

you deeply sighed and stood, trudging over to his gaming chair before plopping yourself down.

“you don’t have to toge… it’s okay.” you spoke gently. “you’ve been teaching me for like— two years already. my new year’s resolution was to stop bothering you about it and let you live.”

he slid his little whiteboard over and erased what he previously had, uncapping his marker and writing.

he showed you.

‘i’ll always help you and you know that :( and it doesn’t bother me you rat, i do it because i want to.’

or because he’s in love with you. either or.

you giggled and lifted your hand, your index finger erasing over the word ‘rat.’ “—it’s mouusee toge. it’s like you get off on abusing and hurting your bestest mestest friend.”

he laughed boyishly and put down his whiteboard, sliding over one of your textbooks from across the table to him and flipping through several pages, reading to try and see exactly where you were at by the sticky notes you left behind in the margins.

“don’t you have to stream today though?” you asked timidly. “like right now?”

he simply shrugged, turning a page as he reached over to write again on his board.

‘i can stream later tonight—’

he quickly turned it around again to add something just as you had finished reading, him flipping it back over.

‘—with you asleep on my bed. because you’re sleeping over. and that’s FINAL.’

you laughed loudly while leaning forward, your cheeks brewing up a little flush at the request even though you’ve slept over at his place plenty of times before— the thought of him actively wanting you to making your heart bounce around erratically in your chest.

“fuck i don’t know…” you feigned concern. “i’m not sure if i can toge i’m sorry.”

he slumped, eyes so sad that it made you almost sick to your stomach as you struggled to commit to the small bit.

‘why not?’ he signed.

“because i’m missing something.” you pouted.

‘missing?’ he signed again. ‘missing what?’

you snickered.

“my ring!” you extended your hand to him and wiggled your little fingers, you poking the tip of your tongue out to the side cutely. “the one you promised me over text.”

toge breathed out a laugh and nearly dropped dead at your cute expression, him mimicking you and sticking his tattooed tongue out before picking up his whiteboard from his lap to write.

‘i told you the tooth fairy has it :D you have to be patient little mouse.’

you giggled and put your arm down, giving him a stern silly look.

“kayyy thennn!” you dragged, sitting up in your chair and looking over your textbook. “i’ll be expecting my big shiny rock under my pillow in the morning sir.”

he saluted you and you grinned, the rest of the time being spent with toge trying to teach you as best as he could with you hopelessly following along, feeling like the dumbest bitch alive and embarrassed whenever you got something wrong.

but toge never minded, not one single bit— even when you made the same grammar mistake literally three times in a row and him correcting you each freaking time the same exact way, no sign of annoyance or frustration on his face as he worked with you.

and that’s one of the biggest reasons as to why you loved toge so much. since the moment you met him all he wanted to do was just help you, regardless of the fact if you were a stranger or not as he generously always put the things he needed to do aside for you— making sure you were always okay and getting the things you needed no matter how many times you told him he didn’t need to worry, you feeling special and appreciated whenever you were with him no matter what.

you hoped to god he felt the same… and you hoped you weren’t being straight delusional when you noticed the way he looked at you a little longer than he should have at times, or when you read too much into the casual little pecks on your head from him, or when you had told him how much you loved just studying on the floor beside him while he streamed but made a joke that sometimes you couldn’t see because it was so dark in his apartment, toge literally the next day buying you a little flower lily lamp to set and prop up right next to you so you could comfortably study, him laughing and wiping your tears when you ridiculously cried over his consideration.

so did that mean he loved you too?

“toge…” you murmured in the midst of him fixing a signage error of the word ‘before’ with his fingers.

he pointed to your hands so you could take note of the alteration he made, waiting for you to carry on then.

you smiled softly in gratitude before continuing.

“have you ever—” you pursed your lips. “have you ever um… well— actually nevermind—”

he blinked before slowly lifting his hands.

‘have i ever what?’ toge signed, and you quickly shook your head.

“nevermind! it’s okay.”

he gently nudged your foot with his, beckoning you to tell him as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

fuck.

okay if he kisses your head right now then you’ll tell him.

“i forgot toge.” you lied. “that’s why i said nevermind… oopsie!”

he laughed and leaned forward, pecking your forehead before reaching a hand up to ruffle up your hair.

fuck!

no you take it back you can’t do it you can’t—

‘silly.’ he signed, turning his attention back to your textbook and flipping a page.

he wondered what it was, but figured it would come back to you eventually and you’d tell him soon after.

by the end of the day, it was like there was an actual fucking light at the end of the tunnel for you and your sign language two class— you going from being over a thousand percent sure that you were about to pathetically fail the entire course, to having a shiny little sliver of hope because of toge’s ability to get anything through your big head and make you understand, feeling eternally grateful for him in many ways than one.

and you wanted him, so fucking bad, ever since you saw him at the coffee shop, that you thought in that moment while toge set up his bed for you to sleep in while you sat on his desk chair, dressed in his big white t-shirt and pajama pants, that if you just— maayybee tested the waters and crossed the line a little bit without it being too drastic, that you’d get your answer.

but did you want to know? what if he didn’t love you back? what the fuck were you supposed to do then?

cry and wither away, that’s what. you don’t think you’ve ever loved someone as much as you loved toge.

you hear the familiar squeaks of his black marker streaking against his little whiteboard, the sound pulling you from your thoughts and you looked up.

‘you’re so spacey today pretty. are you still worried about your class? :(‘

pretty.

“oh!” you stood. “no toge i feel a lot better about it actually because of you… thank you.”

he grinned, nodding before walking and leaning over his pc to set up his streaming session, mouse clicking away.

“toge—”

he looked over at you with his gorgeous purple eyes and you froze, cheeks heating up as your wobbly lips struggled to come together and fucking speak.

“nevermind nevermind—”

his eyes narrowed, snatching his whiteboard and quickly writing.

‘you did this earlier today too. tell me what’s wrong.’

“no.”

‘no?’ he signed. ‘tell me y/n.’

“no! not my name!” you dived dramatically on his comfy blanket filled bed and groaned. “you only call me by my name when you’re mad and i don’t like it.”

he sat next to you on the edge of the bed and pulled on your shoulder slightly, you fully turning around on your back and looking at him anxiously.

toge wished he could continuously beg you and ask you what was wrong so you’d just tell him— him at times sick of constantly having to pause and make you wait so he could get his point across, a painful fact that never left his mind and made him feel like the biggest burden in your life.

that’s why he never wanted to cross that line you both always seemed to lean over without meaning to. the line that’s kept you both on this limbo of half best friends and half more as he sometimes hugged you a lot longer or snuck in a couple of self indulgent cheek and hand kisses to your skin… but that’s as far as he’d really let himself get. toge didn’t want to permanently have you drag him along in your life no matter how much he wanted to be in it as something way more.

you deserved noise, you deserved loud love, you deserved someone who could actually speak to you— things he mourned over that he could never give you.

and he knew this. he’s known from the moment you walked into the coffee shop the very first time even though you swore up and down that he noticed you later, you unaware that he actually saw you right off the fucking bat on the first day and couldn’t bring himself to look you in the eye— knowing you were going to be the biggest heartbreak of his life and ruin him if he so managed as to let you in when you kept coming back.

but toge was selfish, and he couldn’t help himself.

so he tried to compromise.

there’s nothing wrong with being just friends… right? a casual conversation between two people while he was at work? to then bid goodbye and say hello to every now and then?

except a quick conversation with you turned into ones that lasted almost his entire shift sometimes, and then casual meet ups turned into sleepovers at his apartment when he offered to teach you sign language, and then little hugs of farewell and hello’s turned into him kissing you practically fucking everywhere that wasn’t your mouth with the tightest embraces, him completely going against what he swore he wasn’t going to do and damning himself for life.

and even more so when you had joked about wanting a ring that one day, him actually going out the next day and buying you matching ones even though he didn’t even know if he was strong enough to actually give yours to you.

but toge was still freaking selfish.

because as you looked at him now, your gorgeous face anxious and thought-filled about things he wished you would tell him without worry, the outline and shape of your plush soft lips burning his pupils in such a way that it felt like a privilege, your body in his clothes—

made him want to speak the three worded phrase he was only allowed to say in his sleepy dreams if he was lucky.

“what toge?” you spoke softly, reaching a hand up to delicately card through the front pieces of his pale blonde hair, soft and silky as the outline of his tattooed snake eyes made you a little fuzzy.

he slowly shook his head, a far off look in his eye as he leaned over you, his face close and strained that your eyebrows pinched a little at his expression.

your hand proceeded to gently smooth down from his hair to the side of his cheek, cupping it and caressing over it with your thumb so lovingly that he nearly broke his oath.

if you said that you loved him… he wondered if he would crack. if you confessed and told him that you felt the same way, he juggled the possibility of ruining his own life by giving in and letting you take on the burden of his existence just to have you like he’s always wanted—

“i love you.” you told him.

toge’s big wide afraid eyes stared back at you as you smiled sheepishly, his breath caught in his throat.

“i—” you hesitated, playing with the hem of his shirt. “i really love you. like in the way where i want you to like— kiss me and stuff in your free time…”

he huffed a shocked breath, his face still just alarmed and strained and you started to believe that maybe you actually were delusional and misinterpreted things, his lack of anything making you second guess.

“i’m sorry.” you blurted. “i’m sorry i thought—”

and toge was still selfish as he let his lips fall down and crash against yours, moving so feverishly and hungrily that you couldn’t keep up as he dug his arms underneath you and around before pulling you up flush against his body, wanting you as close to him as humanely fucking possible incase he never got to do this again with you, the possibility horrifyingly still there.

“does this mean—” you spoke in between kisses, breathless. “does this mean you love me too—”

toge broke apart momentarily and quickly nodded, eyes ditzy and clouded as he panted against your lips, drunkenly lowering his head and linking his wet lips with yours again as he sloppily kissed you, laying you back down while you wrung your arms around his neck, you giddy and absolutely fucking enamored with him and that he was finally yours.

except he technically wasn’t… yet…

even when three full weeks had passed.

you still visited toge at work in the coffee shop in the mornings or the afternoon like you always did, ordering the same thing and going in to chat as he wrote his responses on his whiteboard— except now whenever rush hour would conclude, toge would greedily sneak in kisses with you at your table or hold the back of your hand to his cheek as you talked about your classes and your plans for the weekend, his conflicted mind putting his oath on the back burner for now as he tried to relish in the love he’s been wanting for so long.

and you were a little confused as to why toge hadn’t taken the initiative that night and asked you to be his girlfriend, but you didn’t complain, you too caught up in the moment when he would make out with you at his apartment in between study or streaming breaks with his hands literally all over you like a man starved, groping and squeezing at anything he could but never going over that last jump to do something intimate with you, your lovesick mind too in it to care at the moment.

that was the next compromise he made.

if you both just— just stayed this way. no official title no matter how much it pained him just so that he could continue doing these lovely lovely things with you whenever you both wanted, his mind thinking that since you both weren’t technically together that he wasn’t burdening you for life just yet, wanting to keep it this way for as long as he possibly could because toge didn’t fucking know what he was going to do when the time came for making it official.

well yes— he did know. but what he wanted to do and what he should do were two completely different things.

“togeee!” you bounded into the shop one morning, thankful that it was empty as you quickly leaned over the counter and pressed a sweet kiss to his cheek, him smiling wide with a flush to his face in response.

‘hi mouse :) <3’ he wrote on his whiteboard. ‘have you had something to eat yet?’

“i’m good im good! wait i haven’t ate but im good!” you spoke excitedly. “i come with newwsss. really fun news!”

he hummed and nodded, motioning for you to continue as he moved around in the back to get and warm up a breakfast sandwich for you.

“one of my friends from sign language told me she’s throwing a party at her sorority house and invited meee!” you beamed, hearing a little oven ping and then following him to your usual table so the both of you could sit.

toge gently slid your sandwich over upon scooting his chair up, warm and yummy as it sat pretty on a little pastel green plate and him signing ‘eat please’ as you grinned.

“and i know you told me once that you’ve never been to a college party, so i was wondering if you wanted to maybe.. come with me?”

he smiled softly.

‘when?’ toge signed.

“tomorrow night!” you responded, taking a bite out of your breakfast sandwich.

he nodded, thinking a little in his head before sliding his whiteboard over to write.

‘of course ill go mouse but it might be better without me.’

you faltered, swallowing. “without you? why?”

he erased and wrote again.

‘because i can’t talk. your friends might think it’s a little odd.’

“no they won’t.” you countered. “and that’s totally okay, toge. just bring your whiteboard.”

he snorted, shaking his head.

‘i’m not bringing my whiteboard silly that’s even worse.’

“but you’ll be with me.” you reasoned. “and i don’t really talk to anyone at school either besides her so it’s literally just you and i hanging out.”

you wiggled your brows. “and drinkinggg ehh?”

he laughed and eventually nodded, reaching across the table and taking your hands in his as he agreed to go, caressing his fingers over your wrists.

the familiar scent of coffee beans and vanilla— a scent you’ve come to know for almost three years now wafted and swirled around through your nose comfortingly, it permanently reminding you of toge and the time that you’ve spent with him.

he let go of your wrists to write.

‘how was sign language yesterday? are you still good?’

you swallowed the bite you were chewing on and held back a grimace.

“oh i’m doing horrendously again… but it’s all good! ignorance is bliss and i’m choosing hardcore ignorance right now.”

toge’s jaw dropped before he laughed in disbelief and picked up his marker.

‘you’re sleeping over at my place again so i can help you no exceptions sorry about it :p’

you giggled and nodded— saluting him, a mannerism you picked up on from him as he smiled brightly.

“but i do know this!” you exclaimed excitedly as you pressed the bases of your palms together and rubbed, signing the word ‘cheese’— your favorite.

toge laughed cutely and signed the same word back, unable to do much else as the doors chimed to the shop then and a group of students came in, toge’s chair scraping against the floor as he stood before giving you a quick kiss and a ruffle to your hair, his whiteboard in hand as he started making his way to the back.

‘i love you.’ he signed and you bit your bottom lip in a smile, your heart swelling obnoxiously as you watched him shuffle on and tap a few things into the register, nodding along to the groups order as you soon after gathered your things for your afternoon class.

and that night after toge taught you a little more sign language and helped you work on the things you were struggling with, you fell asleep rather earlier than usual on his bed— him reaching for one of his fluffy blankets and draping it over your sleeping gorgeous self and staring, slowly leaning down and pressing the softest kiss ever to your little warm cheek— his chest twisting and contorting with the desire to just fucking give in and stop his stupid ridiculous suffering, to just be selfish one last time and ask you to be his.

and maybe he could.

maybe toge could allow himself this one tiny thing— the most important pretty thing of all, he felt.

just once.

“toge?” you murmured sleepily, eyes pinching a little as you lazily reached out for him.

but what if you grew tired of him? of the silence?

he delicately took your outstretched hand and hummed in question.

“come sleep.” you mumbled. “with me.”

his eyes softened, the corners of his mouth curving as he carefully tapped his index finger against your cheek repeatedly, you straining your eyes open.

‘look under your pillow.’ he signed.

your groggy eyes narrowed in confusion, barely making out what he was signing in the dark but catching key words.

“under my pillow?”

he nodded, pointing.

you breathed in and propped yourself up on your elbow, lifting the pillow you were laying on and suddenly snapping the fuck awake.

a ring.

you shot up, sitting up fully as you looked at him.

he stood and reached over for his whiteboard and marker, uncapping it and writing for a moment before flipping it around and showing you.

‘i got us matching bestest mestest friends but also in love at the same time rings :]’

you picked it up, a dainty thin silver banned ring with a milky white heart in the middle, iridescent as it glowed against the moonlight streaming through his open window.

“toge—” you breathed out. “you actually… you actually got me a ring?”

he wrote, a sly little grin on his face.

‘the tooth fairy did mouse.’

you giggled then, a vibrant pink glow to your cheeks and still a little shocked as he took the jewelry piece from you and gently grabbed your hand, sliding it over your ring finger smoothly, his ring finger already having his shiny silver band on.

he put your hand down and grabbed his whiteboard again.

‘that ring is me promising to help you and love you and kiss you until i die.’ he wrote. ‘okay?’

you quickly nodded, absolutely cheesed as you threw your arms around his neck and pulled toge in— feeling so so happy and fresh and loved, like everything was officially falling into place after nearly three years of semi crossing lines and stolen glances and unanswered questions about what exactly you both were for the longest.

your pretty pretty face had toge in a daze as you looked at him like he carried the world on his shoulders, his mouth slowly coming closer and closer to yours before softly pressing against them— slow and tender as you tugged him down to you by his shirt until he climbed in and was in between your thighs.

each kiss exchange was sensual and a mouthful as you helped toge tug his shirt off over his head, your palms running over his bare skinned chest and back as he deepened his kisses, your hands quickly pulling your shirt off and his eyes bulging at the sight of your puffy tits snug and pretty in your bra.

you were desperate for him and didn’t even have to think twice about something like this as you reached and tugged a little at his jeans, signaling him to take them the fuck off—

‘baby.’ he signed shakily, not even sure why he was asking since he doesn’t think at this point he could stop, but needing to check in with you first. ‘are you sure?’

“fuck yeah i’m sure.” you whispered quickly and unzipped his pants, toge smiling big as he kicked his pants and everything else off, carefully helping you do the same until you were bare and vulnerable in front of him.

toge moved to place a hand on your thigh and you squeaked, suddenly bashful as you shyly covered your arms over your chest and squeezed your thighs together.

he leaned down and placed gentle soft kisses on your cheeks, patting a comforting hand over your head.

‘it’s okay mouse. you’re okay.’ he signed.

you nodded, comfort washing over you as you slowly let your thighs spread and your arms reveal you, his spit catching in his throat at the sight of your gorgeous fucking body beneath him, his dick embarrassingly already leaking a little bit of cum as you watched him pump it a few times.

‘you’re beautiful.’ he signed, and you blushed.

he drooled some spit over his fingers and slid it gently in between your folds, your bottom lip coming in between your teeth as you tried to hold back your moans, his digits prepping you while slipping through your hole deeming it fucking hard as he was completely lost in it, unaware of the way he was riling you up and already building up that familiar sensation in the pit of your tummy.

“t—toge—” your pussy clenched at the way he was fucking you with his fingers, keeping your thighs apart with his other arm as he was completely drowned in the gushy sticky sounds of your hole.

“you’re gonna make me cum and i—” you panted, cute whines slipping from your lips as he looked up at you. “—i wanna cum when you’re inside—”

his cock spasmed and a drop of cum drooped out at your yummy plea, his breathing trembling as he quickly nodded and squeezed your thigh endearingly, slowly slipping his fingers out and stuffing them into his mouth to suck your juices as he pumped his cock while lining it up with your hole.

toge sunk in his dick then, the both of you groaning at the way he filled you up so fucking nice and stretched you, your pussy literally grabbing his cock and sucking him inside easily as you gripped his shoulders tight.

“mmm!—” you whimpered, toge now slowly pumping his cock inside of you as he leaned over and propped himself up by his arms, hips tenderly and deliciously rolling in as he panted and softly whined in your ear.

you were so god damn tight, his throat literally closing at the lock you had around him as he fucked you slow and breathless, one of his hands coming down to grip your waist to try and keep himself grounded and from snapping his hips into yours brutally— him wanting to make love to you and not do that just yet.

toge ducked his head down and licked over a perky tit, your breath hitching and subconsciously spreading your legs wider as he closed his lips around your nipple— suckling and laying a flat tattooed tongue over it as you moaned.

“faster—” pant! “faster please baby—”

with a mouthful of your tit he snapped his hips up, you choking as he started going a lot quicker than you anticipated as your hand flew to your mouth to keep your moans in, your tits bouncing with every fuck.

“oh my god oh my god—”

toge suddenly pulled out and threw you over, tummy to the bed as he hauled your ass up and lined himself at your entrance again, wasting no time in pushing in and screwing you in the same pace he had before.

but this new position was an absolute delicacy as you drooled over his sheets at the way he rammed his cock, the recoil of your ass sending a shiver up his spine and roughly gripping your hips and ass in anyway he could, you screaming and whining into his pillow as a series of slaps to your ass cheeks from him echoed through his little studio.

toge was about to dump the biggest fucking load in you that it was embarrassing.

you reached a hand behind you and he quickly grabbed it, his thumb running over your skin soothingly as he pistoned roughly into your cunt, him groaning and whimpering over the squelching and leaking of your hole as he felt his dick harden— his cum on the brink of release.

“fuck fuck fuck—” you hiccuped into his pillow. “baby i’m gonna cum i’m gonna cum hah!—”

he gripped your hand harder and leaned down over you, rutting into your pussy as he heaved and pressed his lips up against your ear, choking out the word ‘cum’ so softly that it bypassed the confines of his situation, your eyes squeezing shut as the hardest fucking orgasm you had ever had in your life hit you like brick.

you felt toge’s hips snap up and still as his hot milky cum spilled through your walls with a grunt, gooey and slimy as it filled you up and left you squirming at the weight of it.

his breath fanned against your hair as he tried to calm it, his hand moving soothingly up and down your back as you weakly tried to gain back some consciousness, the both of you sweaty and spent with his softening dick sliding out slowly.

toge carefully nudged you back over and kissed you tenderly, his hands traveling from your back over to your tummy and smoothly caressing every part of you down to the sides of your thighs, eyes swelling in utter worship over you as he leaned back to look at you.

‘i love you baby.’ he signed, and you beamed.

and just as toge had finally decided to ask you to be his girlfriend then, to officially let go of the fears he had and let himself have you— there in your arms as you peppered sweet cute kisses all over his face and over his tattooed markings on the corners of his mouth, pulling him further in to rest and sleep?

toge had a horrendous day the following morning that threw it all away.

horrendous.

it started in the morning when he left your sleeping figure quietly with a kiss to your head for his shift at work that day, excited and in a never ending state of bliss from the night before as he drove to the shop.

except he had forgotten his whiteboard at home.

toge had realized when he was already fucking halfway into the drive, a full fledged twenty five minute one that he didn’t have time to go back and repeat as he pulled up to the parking lot— cursing himself for being such a dumbass and wondering how the fuck he was gonna answer specific questions from customers, especially since he was the only one really working today.

he figured he should be fine… right? usually the people that come in already know what to get and they just read it out to him.

but there’s always a few every single day without fail that ask questions toge needed his whiteboard for. and you didn’t have class that day— so the means of you coming down there were for nothing, at least not until the party later that night.

and he didn’t want to ask anything of you…

but he really needed it.

(toge :D): hi pretty mouseee i know you’re asleep i’m sorry but is there anyway you could come to the shop when you wake up and drop off my whiteboard please? i left it on the desk like a stupid fucking idiot EL OH EL

“inumaki.”

toge froze on his walk to open the shop and looked up from his phone, eyes blowing wide.

there his manager stood, who was also the owner of the coffee shop itself, a stern look on his face with crossed arms as they both stood in front of a shattered door and windows, shards of glass twinkling on the floor.

“did you lock up last night?”

toge nodded, eyebrows furrowed as he scanned the ground.

“everything?”

he went to nod again, but stopped.

he did… he did truly he did—

…oh.

he forgot to lock up and cash in the register.

toge quickly stepped over the glass and swung open the shattered door and over to the front counter, sure enough finding the register wide open and battered with not a single fucking penny left inside.

he groaned, his hands shooting up and digging the bases of his palms into his eyes as he leaned back, lips in a thin line at how utterly fucking stupid he was for forgetting to lock up the register and take in the money— the number one thing he was always supposed to do.

“what happened?” his manager asked, hands out. “have you been not locking it up?”

toge scrambled for his phone and pulled it from his back pocket, the thought of his job literally on the line because of this sending him for a fucking ride.

‘i always lock it up, honestly.’ he typed and showed his phone. ‘but i stupidly forgot last night and i can’t express enough to you how sorry i am.’

his manager sighed deeply and dropped his hands, looking over at the open register.

“you’ve consistently been one of my best.” he spoke. “but a mistake like this isn’t something small like forgetting to properly close and wipe down everything or put up the chairs.”

toge nodded understandingly, arms tightly crossed over his chest as he shamefully looked to the side, feeling like the biggest pathetic loser for doing something like this that could’ve been entirely avoided if he just did his damn job correctly.

“it’s alright.” his manager reached and patted a heavy hand to his shoulder. “it happens. it’s just unfortunate that we got broken into right when it did.”

toge looked at him.

“we can’t open today because there’s glass everywhere… so if you can stay and call up the insurance for the shop—” he pointed to the wall, their number amongst others typed and labeled. “—and file an insurance claim in any way you can for me that’d be great. i’m gonna go down to the police station and report.”

toge quickly nodded, typing again on his phone before showing him.

‘okay sounds good. i’m really really sorry and this won’t happen again.’

his manager waved him off with a smile. “don’t sweat, inumaki. i’m pretty sure i did this too when i was working except it was my works safe and not the register…”

softly chuckling, toge nodded once more and gave his manager a tiny wave as he patted his shoulder again before stepping around the glass, leaving.

regardless of being lucky enough to have such an understanding boss, toge still felt like complete and utter shit as he stood behind the counter slumped over after, on hold with the insurance company for thirty minutes now as he stared at the broken shards and the register.

you had gotten toge’s text the minute you woke up and quickly got up to get ready, not even bothering to change into anything different as you left with his pajamas on you and his little whiteboard, hopping into your car and speeding off knowing how much he needed it for work sometimes.

and when you pulled into the shops parking lot, confusedly already noticing scattered glass on the concrete walking up, you froze in front of the coffee shop upon seeing the windows and doors completely shattered— toge propping his forehead up with his palm on the counter solemnly.

“toge?”

he looked up.

“what happened?”

his shoulders dropped in relief and he slowly came around the counter, opening his arms a little and pulling you in as he buried his face into your hair, sighing.

you hugged him back. “are you okay? did this happen right now?”

he shook his head and stepped back, taking the whiteboard from you.

‘someone broke into the shop last night. but i forgot to lock up the register and cash in the money so they stole that too.’

“oh my god!” you gasped, hands flying over your mouth. “fuucckkkk was your manager mad? don’t tell me he fired you—”

toge erased and wrote before flipping the board over.

‘no just disappointed. but i still feel like such a fucking moron for forgetting and i hate that i did.’

“toge..” you sighed sadly, running your hands over his upper arms. “it’s okay you’re human baby. these things happen so don’t feel like that please..”

he nodded a little before ducking down and pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

you smiled and looked around.

“seeing the shop like this is nuts.”

he hummed in agreement.

toge stuck around for a little while, you next to him behind the counter still waiting on hold with the insurance company, feeling awfully bad for keeping you here when he knew you wanted to go shopping for a dress for the party, but him stupidly forgetting again that he couldn’t speak— too caught up in trying to make it up to his manager for his fuck up to think about how exactly he was going to talk to the insurance company on the other line, you demanding to help him.

sometime down the line when the insurance claim was filed, toge’s manager told him that if he wanted to open up the shop for the day he could, and to just sweep up the glass a little from the ground and fix up the place a little so it didn’t look like they just got robbed.

and because toge was still in his self dreaded state of guilt and shame over what happened, he immediately agreed to, trying to make up for his mistake and see if he could double the shop’s earnings for today.

“i could stay toge let me stay.” you pushed, but he only shook his head and sent you off to do the things he knew you needed to do with a pat on the head and a kiss on the cheek, telling you he’d see you at his place to get ready for the party.

but maybe toge was better off telling his manager a bit fat no and going home with you, because it was like everybody that came into the shop following that had eaten a big bag of dicks and salvaged the biggest fucking attitudes out of it to spit back in his face.

no one was understanding him. no one. not a single soul. even when he used his whiteboard to explain everything that certain customers needed, for some reason the extra effort of them having to just read putting them off and yelling and making toge’s shift a living hell.

and it’s not like he’s never managed shifts on his own either— never having an issue and still putting in and preparing orders efficiently like he was supposed to, but he figured the debacle from this morning was setting him off since he couldn’t do anything right at the moment, the attitude he was getting from literally every single fucking customer leaving him wishing he at least had one more person on the floor with him.

but toge was still blaming himself.

why couldn’t anyone understand him? why couldn’t he just speak? his life would be so much easier if he could… and you would’ve been his a long time ago.

so as toge sat there tiredly after work with his eyes closed on a stool next to you in his bathroom, you applying the finishing touches to your hair and makeup— you could practically feel toge’s exhaustion, frustration, and sadness seeping into your skin and insides over the shift he told you he had, your eyebrows pinching anxiously.

“we don’t have to go baby…” you murmured, looking down and playing with the rings on your fingers. “i would much rather stay here with you so you can relax for a little…”

he slowly peeled his eyes open, the sight of you standing there in front of him— so fucking beautiful in your dress and heels and dolled up in the way that you were, made his cheeks buzz pink as he slumped forward and mushed his cheek up against your tummy, wrapping his arms around you and shaking his head.

“are you sure?” you asked gently, running your fingers over his soft hair. “i don’t mind what we do toge… as long as with you i’m okay.”

his heart jumped as he looked up and gave you a cute smile, nodding.

you’d decided to meet in the middle and just go home early so toge could have enough rest for his shift tomorrow, him driving you both to the sorority house and parking a bit down the street amongst dozens of other cars, a little nervous and apprehensive and wondering what he was gonna do if any of your friends came up to talk to him— but the desire to make you happy and accompany you to something that you were so excited for far, far greater.

the night went smoothly for the most part, you in no time at all spotting your friend that initially invited you through the crowd along with some of your other friends that you had no idea were coming in the first place, introducing toge to each one and him giving a small smile and wave in response as he interlaced your fingers and gladly let you lead him to wherever you wanted through the dark and blue lit house, taking sips occasionally of the tequila orange liquor mix from his red solo cup and funnily from yours too— since you had gotten a different punch like flavor that he liked better.

“y/n? i didn’t know you were coming!”

your head snapped to the voice just as you were talking to toge, your eyes widening and a huge smile spreading across your face.

“oh hey! i didn’t know you were either!” you quickly turned to toge. “he’s in my sign language class the one i told you about that teaches us how to cuss—”

your friend laughed, “you talk about me y/n? interestinggg.”

toge quirked a brow.

“not like that—” you slapped his shoulder. “i talk about you so i can build up the stamina to rat you out.”

he gasped dramatically. “says the one who bothered me last class to teach her how to sign the word cunt.”

“no i didn’t— wait actually i did.”

your friend laughed again but diverted his attention momentarily to someone pulling on his arm a bit.

toge nudged you gently and you turned.

‘i’m gonna go get a drink mouse.’ he signed.

“okay!” you nodded. “i’ll wait for you here.”

he nodded, kissing your head before leaving— the kitchen not too far from where you both were originally at as he walked and threw away the drink he had initially and scanned the counter, looking for the fruity punch one you got before spotting it and picking one up from the rows of others, the smell of alcohol filling his nostrils.

“hey sorry to bother, which flavor is that?”

toge froze and looked over, a girl standing there and pointing at his cup.

oh shit.

toge pointed to his cup.

“yeah, which flavor is that one? i’ve tried the others but not that one yet.”

oh fuck.

why couldn’t he just talk?

the girl quirked a brow at his silence, and just when she was about to say something else, someone came through the kitchen.

“i think that one’s tutti frutti but i could be wrong.”

she turned to the other person and nodded, giving toge an awkward look before walking around him to get a cup for herself.

toge covered his eyes with a hand in complete fucking mortifying embarrassment, cheeks warm as he leaned against the kitchen sink in the lowest low he had ever lowed.

or so he thought.

because the sound of your loud pretty laughter had him slowly looking up and taking his hand away, you conversing so— so openly and freely with your friend from sign language triggering a hint of jealousy and bitterness in his chest. bitter as to why he was cursed to deal with something like this, bitter over the loser that was blatantly obviously flirting with you… but jealous of him that he was able to open his mouth and speak to you in whatever words and phrases he wanted, syllables flying out without any sort of pain or blood as a paying price like he had to.

that’s what you needed… that’s what you should have. not him.

not his inevitable silence and whiteboards and constant pauses, his lack of being able to tell you how much he loved you and how much you meant to him whenever, wherever… without being tied down to a marker or a phone.

his mixup from this morning, his customers not understanding him, everybody else not understanding him, has led him to believe that someone as beautiful as you shouldn’t carry the burden of even trying to.

toge knew from the very first time you came into the coffee shop that you were going to unknowingly break his heart if he let you in because of his situation… and fuck did he let you in.

and now he had to break yours so you could find and be with what you deserved.

toge walked over to you then, head down with his jaw tight and mind fogged over as you doubled over in laughter over something your friend said.

“wait—” you gasped. “wait toge he just told me that—”

“is he your boyfriend?” you friend asked, pointing to him.

well, toge still hadn’t really asked you… but he gave you a promise ring, and you were both wearing them tonight so—

your eyes snapped to toge, who was shaking his head no.

…no?

your brows furrowed.

“oh! i thought you guys were together, my bad.”

toge twitched over the way your friend sounded relieved, but you didn’t notice a thing, still looking at him with the most gutting look that made him want to scream.

“yeah.. my bad too.” you mumbled, your friend not catching it as he then got pulled by the shoulder to a different crowd, him calling over that he would come find you later on in the night.

“no?” you repeated to him.

‘come with me outside.’ he signed before slowly walking and leading you back to the kitchen and through the backyard doors, the chilling cold night air a refreshing break from the stuffiness inside.

“if this is a joke it’s not that funny toge.” you mumbled, hugging yourself as you closed the door behind you.

he looked at you sadly.

‘you shouldn’t be with me mouse.’ he signed.

“what?” you breathed out. “what are you talking about?”

‘i can’t give you what you need.’

“what i need?”

he nodded. ‘it won’t work. you and me.’

“toge—” your chest picked up speed, tears prickling a bit at your eyes. “you’re telling me all of this yet no answers— why won’t we work.”

‘you should be with someone that can talk to you and tell you that they love you and say anything without all of this baggage—’

“wait wait slow down i can’t—” you put your hands out. “you’re signing too fast i can’t understand you—”

you couldn’t understand him.

and toge realized that the reasoning he had would be something that you would counter and fight for, and something he would more than one hundred percent give in to you winning just so he could have you again.

he needed to make you hate him so it would be easier for you to move on.

toge dropped his arms, a defeated look on his face as he shoved a hand in his pocket for his phone, typing out a message to you.

you received it on the other end, your phone illuminating your face as you opened it.

(toge :D): i realized after we confessed that this isn’t what i want anymore and im sorry

your jaw dropped, eyes narrowing as you looked up at him.

“what the fuck do you mean.”

his thumbs shook as he typed, his heart pulling and screaming at the muscles and nerves tied to them for him to stop.

(toge :D): we’re better off as just friends. i’m really sorry that i realized after the fact. you deserve someone better anyways and i just don’t think it’s with me.

you let out a sob that ripped him to shreds, hand coming over your mouth in disbelief as you stared at the blurry screen in your grasp.

he realized this after the fact? after messing around with you for almost three years? after confessing to you and saying he loves you? after being intimate?

you felt fucking used.

“you’re realizing this now?” you shook your head. “toge— you realize we’ve been flirting like this for as long as we’ve known each other and all of a sudden you’re pulling back? after you got your fucking fill? after kissing me and telling me that you love me, and— and after—”

you ran an exasperated trembling hand through your hair. “toge we had sex and you’re telling me this isn’t what you want?”

god this is everything he wants.

but toge bit his tongue, him strained all over with a locked painful jaw as you yelled at him, his eyes glossy over how much he was hurting you as he stiffly nodded.

you stepped closer, jabbing a finger to his chest. “look at me in the eyes right now and tell me if our entire fucking friendship before leading up to our bullshit confessions was all a lie. tell me right now if this—” you held your hand up, the promise ring he gave you shimmering under the fairy lights of the backyard. “—was a lie when you promised me that you would always help me and love me.”

toge breathed in and out shakily, swallowing thickly as he slowly nodded, his entire body in absolute detriment.

holy fucking shit.

how long had you been this stupid for you to not realize the kind of person he actually was?

but— but it didn’t make any sense. this wasn’t toge. this wasn’t toge at all you didn’t know who the fuck you were yelling at right now because toge would never do this to you.

“do you know why i’m learning sign language in the first place?”

toge blinked back tears, shaking his head no.

“i started taking sign language for you, asshole!” you sobbed. “when i was stupidly crushing on you at the shop before we talked for the first time, i noticed you knew sign language and i signed up for you so it’d be easier for you to communicate with me without always having to use your whiteboard.”

he felt a pang to his heart, harshly wiping his eyes.

“but even then i don’t fucking care toge! you could have absolutely nothing to talk to me with and i’d still love you and do anything for you because that’s how much i’m in love you!”

you sobbed as your shoulders shook violently, hands covering your eyes.

“glad to know the feelings not mutual.”

oh he takes it back.

he takes it all back.

toge reached for your hands and you pushed him away.

“you’re so full of shit toge.” you sniffled. “if this is what you want then fine. take this fucking—”

you slipped the ring off from your finger and threw it at him, the feeling of it thudding against his chest and clinking to the ground beneath his feet close enough to a damn bullet.

he shook his head frantically, picking up your ring and following you up the steps of the porch, grabbing your hand and pulling you back, but you only shaking it off and trudging on forward.

“mouse—” he spoke. “please stop—”

the sound of his rare voice made you freeze in place, unmoving and feeling guilt pool in your stomach at the sound of him reeling over and coughing violently as a result.

he spoke to you… but his dreaded words from earlier still lingered in your mind, betrayal etched into your chest like a tattoo.

“don’t call me that.” you mumbled over your shoulder, swinging the door open to the kitchen and slamming it shut.

toge heard nothing from you for four weeks.

even through all of the calls and texts he sent you, he started to conclude that you actually blocked his number the moment you left him that night, unable to see his actual explanation through the masses of messages he sent you and still continued to even after confirming the thought that you had blocked him.

he couldn’t believe himself. he couldn’t believe he actually hurt you and drove you away like that.

and toge had never felt so much self hatred, missing you like fucking crazy throughout those weeks— it reminding him of that one time when you first started getting to know each other where you disappeared for a week, except far far worse now that you had both built so much together over the years.

his life felt empty now that you weren’t in it.

and funnily enough, his job— something he had gotten before you, now solely reminding him of you as he tried to work without throwing something over the random flashbacks he’d have of that night, blending and serving drinks and sliding them over the pickup counter all meaningless if you weren’t there at your usual table to give him a cheeky smile and sign the word ‘cheese’ to make him laugh on the other side.

his little mouse.

and toge silently cried almost every night at his desk, him clutching your ring.

you were basically the same way as him, if not fucking lower as you were the one that was practically presumably dumped and used, you unable to sleep for hours on end in your bed and your parents wondering what the hell happened between the two of you as they tried to console your tears through your restless nights, you half in denial that this was your reality and toge was out of your life.

after some time, you realized that you had left nearly half of your things in toge’s apartment, it settling into your mind how much time you actually spent with him and not at your own house as you constantly found yourself needing things but couldn’t have them because they were over there— one of those things unfortunately being your freaking sign language textbook.

there was absolutely no way you could get it, and you opted to borrowing your friends for the longest time… but by the time you reached the beginning of the fifth week without toge, you started feeling really bad for continuously bothering your friend for her book when you could just suck it up and get yours.

so you made your jumbled mind up and reached for your phone one day after your morning class, going to toge’s contact number and unblocking him before texting.

(you): hi. sorry to bother but i left some things in your apartment that i need. i was wondering if i could come by today to get them.

toge nearly jumped out of his skin at your pretty name flashing across his phone while he was lazily and depressingly laying in bed, scrambling to type back not even a minute later.

(toge): yes of course

(toge): i’m home right now if you want to come

(toge): and you’re never a bother

you pursed your lips, a lump building in your throat.

(you): okay. i’ll be there in a few minutes.

toge flung his scattered clothing inside his closet or literally anywhere that was out of eyesight, trying to turn his rut of a room back to how it looked like when you were always here, shaking out a big garbage bag and throwing all of his trash in there (along with all of the cake pop, cheese danish, and blueberry scone wrappers…), opening the blinds and straightening out his sheets.

you pulled into his apartment complex parking lot and parked not too long after, your hands drenched in sweat and your body rigid as you came up to his floor and over to his apartment number, knocking even though you had the key.

you almost turned back to leave once you heard his padded footsteps, but decided against is as he was already opening the door.

and my god, seeing him hurt a lot more than you thought it would.

his eyes were soft as they looked at you, and red like yours, him quickly stepping to the side to let you in and you doing so with your head down, not saying a single word.

“i think—” you shakily spoke, eyes already watering as he closed his door with a click. “i think i’m just gonna get my sign language textbook for now i’ll come back some other time for the rest—”

you felt a little tug at your hand, and you turned, his shoulders slumping at your teary eyes, stray droplets slipping down your cheeks already.

‘please don’t cry.’ he signed. ‘i’m so sorry for everything.’

you snorted, shaking your head as you reached behind you to get your textbook.

“sorry for stringing me along and using every part of me until you were bored? sure.”

he frantically shook his head no, panic rising in his chest as he watched you step around him and head for the door.

he couldn’t let you leave.

because he had a feeling if he did, he actually would never see you again.

toge quickly grabbed your wrist and tugged you back around.

“what toge—”

‘stay for a bit.’ he shakily signed. ‘please just stay and let me explain.’

you followed his signage, and your eyes narrowed. “explain what? there’s nothing to explain—”

toge swiped his phone from his bed and opened it, going to your contact to type out a message.

you hesitantly pulled yours out and waited, your phone vibrating against your hand once he sent it over.

(toge): i lied about absolutely everything i said that night. i don’t think any of those things at all. i’ve wanted you so fucking bad from the start y/n, i’ve been ready to be with you i don’t think for a second we’re better off as friends i want more with you always and for the rest of my life.

what?

he sent another message.

(toge): i said what i said because throughout our friendship i told myself like a fucking idiot that i couldn’t let you all the way in because i can’t talk. i kept thinking that you needed someone who you can talk to you whenever you want without having to always step back and read or write like you have to with me. i didn’t want you to carry that baggage and deal with me and i just felt like a burden, and i love you so fucking much that i wanted better for you.

you sniffled and wiped your cheeks, you rubbing away lonesome tears that landed on your phone screen.

(toge): but i’m selfish baby i’ve BEEN selfish. i said those horrible things to you so it’d be easier for you to move on and im so sorry. none of them are true. i don’t want you to move on from me. i didn’t use you i could never and that night we had sex was the most meaningful experience of my life. i love you more than anything in my life, and im gonna be selfish again and please ask you to come back to me. you’re my best friend and more, and i still believe that you need someone better and that can give you more than i can, but i just can’t let you go man i’ve been physically sick for four weeks without you.

you cried still and he typed again.

(toge): i’m selfish and i’m in love with you mouse. i’m sorry.

“toge!” you cried and chucked your phone to his bed, flinging your arms around his neck and pulling him in a tight embrace— the weight completely lifting off both of your shoulders at the feeling of your bodies pressed against each others like a perfect little key in a lock, toge hugging you back so so fucking tight with his face in your neck that he practically squeezed the air out of your lungs entirely.

“i love you.” he spoke, his words incredibly powerful in your ear even though it couldn’t have been more than a mere whisper, the sound and depth of his voice ringing through your head and one you wanted to remember forever and ever, feeling so incredibly loved over the fact that he’d use his voice for you even when it hurt him so much.

but he really didn’t need to. you just wanted him.

and you’ve never been so happy to hear someone tell you that they lied.

toge pulled back a bit and turned his head to the side, stuffing his mouth into the crook of his elbow and coughing.

you pressed your cheek against his once he was done, kissing it a few times beforehand and him closing his eyes at the feeling of your lips on his skin after so long.

“you okay?” you murmured softly, and he nodded.

“i love you too, toge.” you tightened your arms around his neck. “please don’t ever think that you’re a burden or giving me baggage to carry. i’ve never ever felt that way and neither should you.”

you stepped back and cupped his cheeks.

“i need you, baby. i don’t need anything or anyone else but you. someone that has the ability to talk can’t give me even ten percent of what you’ve been giving me. i’m happy with you. the happiest i’ve ever been is when i’m with you… okay?”

toge grinned, huge and shiny as he nodded and leaned forward and captured your lips in a kiss— the both of you utterly deprived as your mouths smacked and moved in haste, his hands running and squeezing over your body with labored breathing between the two of you.

he pulled apart for a second and you stopped.

“what baby?” you breathed, watching as he raised his arms.

‘please be my girlfriend mouse.’ he signed. ‘or i’ll die.’

you giggled cutely and a blush rose on both of your sore cheeks from smiling so much, you happily nodding and roughly pulling him back in to continue.

and how lucky was toge to have such a sweet little mouse that cared for him this much? for someone who couldn’t even speak? who had the greatest level of patience and not once ever complained about the burden she had to carry?

you learned sign language for him. solely for him. the reasons he was thinking about how he’d be baggage to you, was amazingly the total opposite on your end, as you didn’t want to be baggage to him when it came down to communication with you— as if something like that were ever even possible.

and you learned sign language for him— a totally beautiful and different and complex language that was iterated through the feeling of arms and body, to be read across with purposeful moving hands and symbols and diligent fingers— somehow looking even more beautiful when it was you that was doing it.

silence was toge’s greatest form of love… one that you received with open arms and acceptance without a twinge of judgement in your heart, and one that toge only ever wanted you to receive.

you.

his little mouse.

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