#like he acts like he has his own agenda and goals but it's really just. do anything kim wants😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[maraczeks]

bcs s5 thread pt 2

[professor-doc-emeritus]

I love the dichotomy we get between jinshi and the emperor that shows off how the traits that make jinshi a great prince, boss, friend (husband 👀👀👀👀) are the very same traits that will make him a terrible emperor.

His hard working streak that lets him handle his weird assignments with grace and manage the clashing egos of the inner palace is what will get him killed by overwork as emperor since he has no real head for delegation. It took 11 volumes and the intervention of most of his immediate family just to get jinshi to hire a secretary. The emperor always being free to host parties, sleep with the consorts, and bust jinshis balls in-between it all is, much like lakan always being free to annoy maomao, actually a sign of him being god-like at delegation and organizational management.

His lack of ego and willingness to look the fool if it gets the job done is great for avoiding political snafus and getting to the truth of things. It's genuinely the thing that makes all his expeditions to the western capital so wildly successful: he really doesn't gaf about how he's seen by the public, so long as the job gets done and his friends aren't in immediate danger. It's also the exact opposite of what you need from a head of state who's legitimacy is not-insignificantly based on the public perceiving you as an instrument of the will of heaven. The emperor being willing to kill people and their families over slights jinshi (and most sane human beings) would be willing to let slide is cruel and inhuman, but it's also what keeps the populace at large from being able to organize against him and challenge the imperial power.

Jinshis compassionate streak, his urge to save as many people he can and find the best solution for everyone possible, makes him great to work for. He'll give you assignments that match your hyper fixation, work around your crippling social anxiety, give you a post that just-so-happens to involve you staying with the love of your life for a few months. More over, he isn't gonna risk his life and your position over petty ego or greed when he can find a peaceful solution instead. But the hesitation he feels at using people like tools, and his unwillingness to act if it means throwing people under the bus, is what will lead to death and destruction if he's the emperor. Especially in a time of war. The current emperor is willing to ruin lives and crush nations if it reaches a goal, advances an agenda.

Finally, jinshis loyalty, I'd say even more than his looks, is what draws people to him. He loves his toys, can't stand to give them up. It makes him a great romantic figure. But when you're the emperor, and you need to be willing and able to marry someone for political ends, produce as many heirs as possible regardless of who with, and set aside the feelings of those women for your own sake, that loyalty is poison.

Idk, so often in stories with these systems they sorta follow the logic of "if he's a good person he'll be a good leader." I think it's cool to have a series talk about how being a leader involves being EXTREMELY comfortable with being an asshole, for a myriad of reasons, and how someone being pleasant to work for wouldn't make them an effect monarch.

[yuurivoice]

easiest and hardest part in the writing process for each of your projects? like maybe the earnestness of bittersweet or the world building of eoe, etc. idk if my question makes sense lol

I think across the board, the hardest part is undoubtedly just getting the work done. Battling with myself will always be the biggest pain point of the creative process, but I can identify a few particulars.

BitterSweet's best part in regards to writing has been the beauty of tapping into these kegs of creativity and discovering what was actually in there. I have ideas, bullet points, etc, but when the rubber hits the road it becomes magical. For example, realizing that so much of Alphonse's motivation is related to his grief. When working on the Director's Cut and going over chapter 1 specifically, I see these gaps where the grief I figured out later on fit so perfectly. It was always there, I just didn't want to pull back that particular curtain...for reasons that I probably don't even need to sit with my therapist to figure out, I can tell you EXACTLY what that was lol

The hardest part with BitterSweet was the handful of voices that I felt tried to invalidate my work. I let it bother me, a lot. It left a very sour taste in my mouth. To reduce this story about love to the very narrow viewpoint of only being valuable if the trio explicitly kiss and declare with very deliberate and specific language that it's deep romantic love is a garbage thing to do, and the anger I felt was nearly enough to get me to walk away entirely. But this challenge made me better as a writer, because it taught me to trust myself. I accomplished this much by listening to my heart, and my gut. I will accomplish even greater by continuing to do the same.

With Echoes of Evalas there is a bit of that same anxiety, because there are similarly bold choices being made in different ways. Antagonistic relationships, a general moving away from the heavily romance based influences in favor of a broader scope, etc. but a bigger challenge has been making tasteful, thoughtful, considerate choices in relation to how serious subjects will be handled. We're dealing with fantasy colonizers, displaced peoples, implied genocide. That shit is heavy, but the goal isn't to treat it as window dressing, but calling out the wickedness that those same acts are built upon in our world. The thing about it is, it's EASY to handle that with taste and care, but I feel the pressure to get it right and be responsible with my writing. So I do a lot of analyzing as I write.

For example, there was a situation recently with a fantasy race that has some tribal implications, and someone would absolutely throw around the word "savage" carelessly because there are facets of their culture that are violent in nature and opposed to the "normal" way of life. So as I began to delve into it, I recognized that it's on me to express how it is viewed within the culture itself, some of the reasoning, the way of life. You don't pluck the character out of that culture and then just make them the angry, bloodthirsty one, ya feel me? So rather than "x character is a killer with a grudge, he's just really angry and wants to murder the oppressors", we're looking at how the oppressors MANIPULATE and create that image to further that systematic oppression through fear of a culture unlike their own.

Said character is righteous in their anger, as are those who were wronged, but you can't just treat them as "oh they're big scary and violent" and leave it at that. Because that's literally pushing the same agenda that has been used to oppress peoples here in reality, and that's fucked.

So there's a WHOLE LOT of self analysis going on as I write, but I feel like I'm doing the best I can to ensure that what ends up being put to screen is made with the care and thoughtfulness that the fantasy genre has historically lacked.

The thing that I hope comes through loud and clear is that Evalas' stories specifically speak to the wicked thing in people's hearts that make them believe they have the right to oppress and lord over those who are different from themselves, in my pitch I've written for potential collaborators on the project, I specifically call this out:

"In summary, I think I’ve got something to say about whatever wicked thing finds its way into people’s hearts that may make them feel entitled to erase and rewrite that which makes another so different from them. It rears its head in ways broad and narrow, but they share the same ignorance and fear of otherness. Some that I’ve experienced personally, some that I’ve witnessed and stood in allyship against, and certainly more that I’ve yet to understand and consider."

There are many ways I cannot ever experience oppression, but I can identify the systems and hate that fuel the machine, and imagine a world where we put our faith in each other to overcome that hate. It cannot be perfect, or without failure and misunderstanding, but we can find our way towards being greater as a whole in our path to purge that wickedness from the world.

Saying alllllll of that to say, the hardest part of Evalas may also be the easiest, because these are core to my beliefs. It is work that feeds my soul and makes me consider my fellow man, and seek to understand and empathize and learn. If I stumble along the way, I hope I am afforded the grace to learn and continue that pursuit.

[starswhisperwritershear]

@any-n-everything Here's why i think Sam and Tucker needed some more thorough development. I mean it's not that they were terrible, and I think the majority of my problems with them suffer from the writing and it being a kids show who's primary goal was to teach kids moral lessons. But Sam had several moments where she disregard what Danny wanted and pushed her own agendas no matter how that affected him and Tucker. Such as the gorilla project (yes it was for Danny's grade but the poor kid got no sleep that night and clearly didn't want to be there), or the one that gets me the most is season 2 episode 1 when she wished Danny and her had never met and then instead of trying to solve the problem in any other way (she already knew at this point that it was the wishing ghost attacking) Like going to get help from any of the other ghost hunter or dealing with the ghost herself which she was shown very capable of doing (and we needed more of because honestly that was a cool aspect of her character) she decided to put her friend, who she supposedly cares about, through the most traumatic experience of his life a second time. She killed him, twice. Because she was the one who egged him on to go in the portal the first time despite him warning her about safety issues, and then she just shoved him in the second time. But then the show wants to convince me she likes him romantically. That's crazy. Not to mention the one time with the trucks that Danny and Tucker liked and she wanted him to use his ghost powers to her advantage despite having in several other episodes berated him for doing the same thing. And (last example I promise) in the show finale when he gave up his ghost powers to protect his family and go back to a normal life because he's been struggling with this for so long, she gets upset! (They all do, I'm not excluding Jazz and Tucker from this, this is just my Sam paragraph). She tells him that she feels she lost a friend and that he's wrong to give up superpowers because now he's not unique or special and she wants friends who are unique and special. Like damn, Sam. Low blow. It's like when a friend only wants to hang out with you to play on your x box and when you don't have the x box they disappear and hate you.

As for Tucker, he's not quite as bad and again I think his character just suffers from the Tv-Y7 rating, but there are a few times where he just straight up disrespects Danny. The only two times we're shown that they get in a fight, Tucker completely does a 180 and makes Danny out to be the bad guy. In the episode where he wishes he has ghost powers he just blames Danny for taking the spotlight and showing off how much better he is, when Danny never did any of that (at that point in the show). Even if Tucker felt that way because of jealousy, he was still really rude with how he spoke to Danny and quite literally put a citizen's life in danger just to upstage Danny. He does it again in the one for where he runs against Dash for class president. (I know that in both of these he was under a ghost influence, but all of the problems started before the ghosts got involved, they just enhanced what he was already feeling.) (And I know Danny and Sam weren't listening to him but that's wildly out of character for Danny and I feel the writers just conformed his personality to the plot to teach the listen to your friends narrative) but he also took that scepter willingly from the mummy ghost. He has like a weird superiority complex that he takes out on people at the most random times. Then in the episode with Nocturne, his best dream is him being all rich and making Danny his janitor! That's not how you think of your best friend! That shows just how much better he thinks he is compared to Danny. Then in the episode where the G.I.W. buys Danny's house and Danny is freaking out, Tucker is like hey man, you have a lot of money now, act like it and enjoy it and calm down. Then gets mad at him when he acts like it and enjoys it! And also he did the same thing as Sam in the finale.

Sorry for the chaotic jumbled mess of thoughts, I have more to say I just can't remember any more specific examples off the top of my head at the moment. But again, he could have worse, I just think they also deserve their own growing and learning moments.

[gavillain]

X-Men '97 Spoilers

Apparently controversial hot take, but I actually really like Doctor Doom's cameo in X-Men '97

I think there's a lot of fun implications here, and the voice acting is really solid. I'm interested in seeing if they end up doing anything further with his collusion with Bastion, but if not, it's always cool to see one of my favorite villains of all time making an appearance.

But I've seen people take umbrage with Doom working with mutant hating extremists, and, y'know, literal Nazi Baron Zemo

Because Doom would NEVER work in the same group as a Nazi, right? ... Yeah, no, that is historically not true....

He doesn't LIKE it, but he HAS collaborated with the Red Skull in the past. It doesn't usually end particularly well, and Doom DOES genuinely hate Nazis and takes it out on Red Skull when the latter is of no further use to him...

But Doom isn't above holding his nose while working with him and other similarly morally questionable people when he thinks he has something to gain from it.

And that's a fundamental part of Doom that you kind of HAVE to understand to "get" his character. Any sort of moral standard or code is always always ALWAYS a distant third for Doom after:

Anything that fuels his narcissistic self-aggrandizing view of himself (including proving his general superiority to everyone else)

The pragmatic and strategic moves necessary to achieve his goals.

He never (or I should say rarely/inconsistently since comics have their peaks and valleys) allows any moral views that he holds to get in the way of the prior two, quickly discarding his morality when it's inconvenient, and even his "moral code" is more about fueling his view of his own superiority than anything else.

Take his one line here in X-Men '97

Yeah, war crimes are BAD, right Doom? ... Except for, y'know, all the times he commits them...

But that's completely consistent with regards to Doom and his characterization. The 90's Hulk cartoon actually has a great little moment specifically ABOUT Doom and war crime activity (time stamped for your convenience):

He completely dismisses and justifies the accusations of war crimes because it doesn't fit within his narcissistic view of himself. And that's part of what makes Doom SO psychologically fascinating! For him, the ends will always justify the means, so long as the ends are advantageous to him. It certainly seems like Bastion's sentinel scheme that's unfolding has the potential to set Doom up nicely to fuel his own agenda. And if the X-Men and/or Avengers don't beat him to it, I'm sure he fully intends to do away with Bastion and Zemo once he gets everything he wants out of them. That's just who he is, and there's a LONG comic history of him doing exactly that.

Reducing him to a "mutant hater" or defining him based on his race as a Romani are both reductive. Because he's Doctor Doom before he's anything else. His race and his backstory inform his character, certainly, but Doom is much MUCH more complex than a sweeping generalization. He's a complex and nuanced person, and he's also a villain who obviously is not going to be 100% palatable to your real life world views. And I wish people would see him more clearly before trotting out the pitchforks.

[xerith-42]

Stop blaming characters for bad writers

Seriously, stop fucking doing this. While this is a post that could certainly be applicable to MANY fandoms, I'm mainly directing this whole rant at my target audience which is mentally ill minecraft obsessed freaks.

If a character is written badly, gets badly fumbled by the creator, or has the ball dropped in regards to their arc in some way, a lot of people will blame the character, as if they're a real conscious person making these decisions. When they aren't. They're a block man literally being controlled by two people who just aren't very good writers and one or both of them are incredibly sexist, kind of racist, ableist, and just bad writers in general.

Yeah, Laurance does some pretty shitty things through out Season 2 of MCD, actively crossing lines he wouldn't have previously crossed. We as fans can cope by saying something something calling, or just saying Laurance is a bad abusive person, but the reality is that the writers wanted to force the series to fit a specific vision and as a result were willing to do anything to get the series to that point. In order to make Aaron the most favorable suitor for Aphmau, her previous suitors need to be out of the picture, or clearly inferior options.

Garroth suffered the out of the picture, being mostly absent outside of a few cutscenes here and there until episode 81 of season 2, but episode 81 is the culmination of the writers goals to make Aarmau happen. By the time Garroth has returned to the series, the damage has already been done. He's not getting the life he wants. And Laurance is written out of the picture as well, but only after being shown to be inferior because Jesson were pushing an agenda.

Laurance didn't deteriorate as a person due to neglect of his physical and mental well being after a severely traumatic experience. He deteriorated as a character because the writers stopped giving as much of a shit about him and instead were using the series as self indulgent fanfiction of alternate versions of themselves. That's not Laurance's fault.

And this applies to any character who was completely fumbled in MyStreet due to this similar focus on wish fulfillment from the writers. Jess has stated that the relationship between Aphmau and Aaron in Phoenix Drop High is reflective of her relationship with Jason, we all know this. This means that any characters who come off as total fucking creeps in that series (namely Gene), are not actually acting on the whims of their own autonomy or desires as characters. They are acting in service of telling a predetermined story that they are retroactively being added into for author fulfillment.

In this regard I fully support fandom cope and say that you should rewrite your little guys to your hearts content. But if you're going to criticize these characters for their actions, don't criticize them. They didn't do anything wrong. All characters are just puppets in service of the story or themes a writer is trying to push. If a character acts in an objectively terrible way, especially a way that isn't in line with their previous characterizations, that is a failing of the writers, not the character.

And I feel like largely a lot of us can and frequently do this. We're actively criticizing Jesson for being terrible low-key bigoted writers all the god damn time, it's like half of the content here. But when we get into character discourse I feel like some people cling onto bad actions of the canon too closely and I've seen more than a few posts presume some pretty terrible interpretations of characters based on these actions. Obviously Laurance is a character I and a lot of others are fixated on so a lot of discourse revolves around him, and it was seeing some... interesting takes on him that prompted me to start writing this post.

But this happens to everyone. Quite personally based on the character I was shown in MyStreet, it feels really weird that Garroth would make an insensitive comment about his brother's weight. Yeah siblings poke fun at each other and often cross lines, but if that was something Zane was seriously insecure about (which it seems like he might be) then it does make Garroth come off as a really insensitive brother, which just doesn't gel with how hard he tries to bond with Zane despite their tense relationship. And I don't think Garroth should be criticized for making those comments.

Whoever wrote those lines (Jess and/or Jason) should be criticized for writing a scene where a character is mocked by their older sibling over a physical insecurity even if said sibling would not normally do that. It's not Travis' fault that Jesson never decided to give him more of a character beyond "funny pervy guy" that's not funny in every anime they've watched until Season 5 of MyStreet. It's unfair to try and say Travis should be scrutinized for his borderline sexual harassment of some characters when it's not his fault that happened, he was written by writers who don't think this sort of behavior isn't all that bad if they make it out for comedy and punch him in the face.

And god dammit it's not Laurance's fault that his jealousy became the most prevalent emotion he felt. Laurance has always been a character to give into his vices and yet fight against them at the same time, it's what makes him compelling. If they were going to pull on those vices in order to make him a less appealing love interest, he never had a chance to really be his own character after a certain point. Because at a certain point in Season 2, Jesson stopped caring about the character they had been writing for over a hundred episodes at that point. They just wanted to canonize their self insert ship and were willing to do anything to get it.

Laurance isn't an abusive angry person who would have killed Aphmau if they got together. He's a flawed character being handled by incredibly flawed writers who are prone to making some of the worst decisions you have ever seen a creator make in regards to their character writing. He was caught in the crossfire of the adoration he received from a very dedicated fanbase, and the creator who would rather pretend he and his previous arc didn't exist for the sake of her fun. It's not Laurance's fault his arc was stilted, jerked around, and ultimately ended with him completely face planting. And yet still reliably dragging his bloodied body up at just the slightest glimmer of hope (Void Paradox).

It's deeply poetic and tragic that I can describe his character in universe and in the meta-textual sense that way, but we should never blame Laurance, or Aaron, or any other characters for things being like this.

They didn't write the show. Jess and Jason did.

[purplehairedwonder]

Chapter 1081: Heartbroken

Me, reading this chapter:

Okay, let’s start with the stuff on Hachinosu:

Garp and his ship land in the wake of the giant explosion at the end of last chapter. He’s worried he’s losing his touch while everyone else looks on in horror at the thought that this is what losing a step looks like. (Just saying, Akainu should be sending Sengoku flowers and chocolates for saving his life at Marineford when he stopped Garp from attacking.)

Moreover, thankfully we don’t have to wait for Garp and Coby to reunite.

But there is a complication: turns out Kuzan is actually on Hachinosu after all (which leaves Lafitte and Catarina Devon to potentially be on the ship heading to Egghead). I am genuinely surprised by this; I felt fairly certain Kuzan would be at Egghead with all the Ohara references. But now I’m wondering if Kuzan will cross paths with the Straw Hats at Elbaf... which is also where Saul is. That would be something.

(Also, I still want to know where Smoker is.)

Kuzan announces his presence by freezing Hibari. 

So, this could be a coincidence, but there’s also a potential for something more dramatic here. There are theories floating around that Hibari is Akainu’s daughter, so Kuzan freezing her here could be a sort of revenge against the man who cost him the position of Fleet Admiral and his leg.

We also get a flashback to Kuzan joining the Blackbeard Pirates:

NGL, it’s pretty sus that Kuzan and Blackbeard just happened to end up at the same place. I don’t feel like this stops the speculation that Kuzan is undercover, especially considering some of the things he says:

Back at Ohara, he says

Later, when he saves Smoker from Doflamingo on Punk Hazard, he tells Smoker

(Side note, this is very much like what Law tells Smoker about why he became a Warlord--seeing things at a different angle.)

Kuzan, despite being with Blackbeard at this point, is calling himself independent. And he says,

Which brings us to what he says on Hachinosu:

He’s acting according to his own wishes, not the World Government’s and not Blackbeard’s. After all, consider what Blackbeard says when he recruits Kuzan:

Kuzan clearly has his own agenda here--one he’s had in mind and has been inspired by for a long time, only now he feels free to act on it--and if he has to fight Garp to keep up his place in their midst until his goals are achieved, he will do so. 

(I just want to take a moment to note that we have yet another contrast between Blackbeard and Luffy; Luffy’s crew is full of his friends who fight for one another and want to help each other achieve their dreams. Blackbeard’s crew is entirely transactional.)

The way he phrases the need to make sure Coby isn’t rescued is also telling:

The optics would be bad for his mission if Coby got out in his watch, and that’s the only concern. He’s not a true believer here; he’s doing what is necessary for whatever his mission is.

So, Kuzan is an immovable object and Garp is an unstoppable force. They collide.

AND NOW TO THE PART OF THE CHAPTER THAT WILL BE LIVING RENT FREE IN MY BRAIN FOR THE REST OF FOREVER.

Oh no.

WELL, THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY.

This panel... hit me like a physical blow. Law’s been on the Tang since he was 16. I’m emotional about it.

Law whumps so pretty, sorry not sorry. (Add this to the file with him on the Heart Throne in Dressrosa and being tortured in Wano.) Bepo is... really adorable? And I love that the two of them are together here? Bepo’s with his captain, and I cry. This was also a brutal fight since it was Blackbeard and three Titanic commanders vs. the Hearts.

And another Rocky Port mention:

So, this confirms that Law got his hundred hearts at Rocky Port, and they’re all still on Hachinosu.

Meanwhile, Bepo (in another adorable panel) eats a new rumble ball from Chopper. (Can we talk about Chopper making this for Bepo? Chopper, bb, I love you so much.)

Law, stop being so pretty while you’re bloodied up.

Blackbeard knows about the Perennial Youth Operation, which is not surprising since he’s been hunting down Devil Fruits and Law’s is known as the Ultimate Devil Fruit. It’s interesting, too, that when Blackbeard ambushes Law, he says it’s for Law’s poneglyphs, but when Law is defeated, he talks about his Devil Fruit instead.

(Speaking of Law’s poneglyphs, did Blackbeard get them? With the Tang sinking and the captain and navigator escaping... wouldn’t it be ironic if he ambushed Law for his poneglyphs only to forget to take them in his victory.)

AND CHOPPER’S GIFT LETS BEPO GO SULONG WITHOUT THE FULL MOON. HYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYPE.

This bear, who is constantly apologizing for silly things, TAKES ON BLACKBEARD AND HIS TITANIC CAPTAINS to protect Law. I love their friendship so much.

Bepo takes Law and escapes in the sea. (Fun fact, polar bears can swim about 6 mph/10 kmh, and the longest known distance a polar bear has swum is 220 miles/354 km. So, Bepo is capable of getting Law to safety.)

Also, Law is leaving his hat and Kikoku behind -- two of his most visible signifiers. This... this hurts.

I am genuinely heartbroken by this moment. We know how much Law cares for his crew; he sent them to Zou to protect them from Doflamingo, and he gave himself up to be tortured in Wano to rescue Bepo, Shachi, and Penguin. He takes his role protecting his people very seriously, so he begs Bepo to turn around even though he’s in no shape to do anything. He just won’t abandon them (reminds me of him refusing to abandon Luffy if he were to die in Dressrosa).

But Bepo tells Law to trust in the Hearts. They’re tough and they’re survivors. This makes me think the Hearts will survive and regroup offscreen while Law and Bepo get away. (I can’t help but think, though, about the Hearts scattered on Winner Island and in the water and how Blackbeard is involved in the slave trade. Could you imagine the rage if Blackbeard sold the Hearts into slavery and Law had to rescue them? Or, if Blackbeard brings the survivors back as prisoners and lets the pirates with missing hearts at them... Yikes.)

Despite being conscious, Law must be in really bad shape for Bepo to be worried about him dying here. (I get that going underwater is safer against threats like Van Augur here, but Law is a badly-wounded Devil Fruit eater... he’s not going to be able to stay under very long, Bepo, heh.)

I want to examine, for a second, the way the defeat of the Hearts is framed versus the defeat of the Kid Pirates (versus the defeat of the Straw Hats in Sabaody).

“Winner Island, New World. On this day, the Heart Pirates, led by Trafalgar Law, were soundly defeated.”

“On this day, in the New World by Elbaf, the Kid Pirate crew, led by Eustass ‘Captain’ Kid, a man worth 3 billion, was completely eradicated.”

“Grove 12, Sabaody Archipelago, the Grand Line. That day, the Straw Hat Pirates, led by Captain Monkey D. Luffy, were eradicated.”

It’s quite noticeable how much more dramatically both the Kid Pirates’ and the Straw Hats’ defeats were described. For one thing, the descriptions of the Kid Pirates’ and Straw Hats’ defeats are more flowery. 

Plus, the use of the word “eradicated,” which sounds permanent. Obviously, the Straw Hats weren’t permanently broken up, but they are separated for two years. It’s a dramatic defeat. We don’t know what happened to the Kid Pirates, but it didn’t look good, as both Kid and Killer, who can’t swim, were thrown into the water. On the other hand, the Hearts are described as being “defeated” while Law and Bepo escape.

So, what comes next? On the one hand, it would make a lot of sense for Bepo to get Law to safety and then call the Straw Hats. This could be a great excuse to get Law back onto the Sunny for the duration, especially since his goal to learn about the Will of D. is aligned with Luffy’s without competing with his. Plus, you know Luffy wouldn’t hesitate to help Law.

On the other hand, if we think about where Law is in conjunction to the other two captains...

He’s closer to Elbaf than Egghead. It would not shock me if we start to see all these plotlines (Straw Hats, Kuzan, Law) converge on Elbaf.

Ugh, this chapter has completely wrecked me.

[silviakundera]

I found your blog while watching for love's sake splendid drama and nice commentary from you I saw you watch chinese shows and I have a question am I dumb or because why are they so frustrating I don't know if it's because I'm used to japanese ones where there isn't much romance and this is how romance is written these days or is this a cultural thing because why every one of these I watch has such weird romantic relationships where this dude is breaking his back for her from day 1 and this dudette is out here acting like he's number 5 on her priority list?

yaassss Love for Love's Sake representation. I will never rest from reccing that drama 👏👏 you clearly are NOT dumb & have great taste 😘

for cdramas, my beloved, in my experience of watching in recent years is that there is such a wide breadth of genres & tones. There is just SO MUCH. Definitely chinese entertainment has its own tropes and way of portraying romance. And you either like or you don't. But there are many different flavors. If you feel like you were seeing the same dynamic repeatedly, it may have been bad luck.

If you prefer minimal romance, there are definitely options for that in cdramas! There are mystery/investigation dramas and wuxia martial arts dramas with little to no romance. Because of censorship the gay romances naturally are circumspect and light on the romance (see: The Untamed, Couple of Mirrors, Word of Honor, Spirealm, Guardian). Since you like Love for Love's Sake, I'd rec The Spirealm on Viki - also queer love story about a guy who enters a video game and the people he meets there become real to him; though warning it IS censored and that means the ending is more ambiguous. I can't promise you'll like it. (Semantic Error and Eighth Sense are my other 2 fav korean gay romances btw. )

There are also cdramas that do include romance but in terms of screen time the romance is like 30% of scenes and the plot & character arcs are 70% of scenes. Like in Blossoms in Adversity that I'm watching now, yeah there is most definitely romance but the FL/ML romance scenes compromise like 25% of the overall screen time. It's about way more than who she might marry.

But also in terms of cultural differences? hmm idk because I'm not chinese. I really should NOT speak like I understand their PoV. From an outsider's perspective, I have felt like there are many cdramas with overtly feminist themes - commentary about restrictions on women, the challenges of navigating through a society that can be unfair and entrenched with misogyny. (I joke and yet not that chinese entertainment seems to have 3 propaganda drums that it beats: nationalism/unification, anti-war, and feminism.) It's certainly a fact that many cdramas feature female characters that fall in love but they maintain other priorites & don't let themselves be subsumed in devotion to a man. They have romance & find love but "keep their eye on the prize."

My best guess (??) about this is that it's a rebellion against old cultural mores about women's role being subserviant to father then husband, when during imperial times a woman was expected to prioritze her husband and his family above her own wants, health, and happiness. (It was immoral to be jealous or not follow direction from the man.) Modern chinese screenwriters, both men and women, appear to be writing for an audience that will respect & support the idea of a woman who has her own agenda and maintains focus on her goals despite her love for the ML. Perhaps because this is viewed as moving away from "old thinking". idk.

I presume the target audience in china for romance dramas simply doesn't worry so much that the ML is getting loved enough & aren't as sensitive to thinking he might be at a disadvantage... They're aware society is already set up to his advatange & for much of history he would have all the power in the relationship. (He might bend now and be giving it his all, but the audience knows he can tap into more power & control at will. if she gives up control & her goals, it will be harder for her to recover & reclaim status/money/power compared to him. There are dramas I've seen that pretty much explicitly state that FL wants to earn her own status and money that is hers, thru her own efforts, not lent by him - not prestige or wealth that comes through him and thus could be taken away).

Personally I don't view this as unromantic, just the practical realities of existing in a patriarchal society. (cdramas can hit different imo because they can be blunt about how people operate based on self-interest & pettiness, the realities of classism, the ugliness of rumors, how judgmental people can be about appearances, how you can't always get justice when wronged. Reminds me of the Discworld books that were very frank about how the common people commonly are. It's not saying: this is how people should be; it's saying: this is how things are, the bitterness of life, but you can still find sweetness & meaning within it)

There's another aspect: some cdramas have male protagonists (e.g. Mysterious Lotus Casebook, Blood of Youth, League of Nobleman, Eternal Brotherhood) and some have female protagonists. If you're watching a female protagonist, as the protagonist her priorities & goals are the story driver. So her love interest will take a back seat to that even though it's a romance. He's a support role - his job in the story is to break his back for the protagonist. (A Journey to Love is an example where ML and FL share the protagonist role & you can see that in how things play out, how they each have separate priorities that don't get dropped for love.)

At the end of the day, there are plenty of cdrama romances where I ship it hard and feel a mutual love & devotion between the couple. My fav flavor is where both FL and ML have their own strengths and can be counted on to support each other. I'm not keeping score on who owes who, and neither are they.

But it's all not gonna to be to everyone's taste and that's fine. :) When it comes to international tv, if we enjoy content from other countries then it's our good luck. But if we don't...well, it wasn't made for us. That's ok.

[teine-mallaichte]

Happy Friday x3 How about "Trust issues" from the Fear of Vulnerability list for any ships or characters you feel in the mood to write today x3

Bit of Fenris & Hawke for this one, originally meant to be Fenhawke but it didn't really go that way, so pre-fenhawke maybe.

Last @dadrunkwriting prompt for this week i think

The marketplace of Kirkwall was bustling, vendors calling out their wares as Hawke and Fenris weaved through the crowd.

"You know, Fenris, if you keep scowling like that, your face might freeze," Hawke teased.

Fenris glanced sideways, "What do you want, Hawke?"

Hawke's smile softened, his eyes dancing with mischief. "Just trying to lighten the mood. You're always so serious."

Fenris frowned, "I have reason to be serious. This city is filled with danger. There is little room for levity."

Hawke chuckled, "Well, maybe I just want to see you smile for once. Is that so wrong?"

Fenris stopped in his tracks, turning to face Hawke fully. "Why? Why do you do this? Act this way?" His green eyes were intense, searching Hawke's face for answers he wasn't sure he wanted.

Hawke's stepped closer, his voice dropping to a softer register. "Because I like you, Fenris. And I think there's more to you than just the anger and hurt. I want to know that part of you."

Fenris felt a knot tighten in his chest, his heart pounding. Hawke appeared sincere, but he couldn't be. Noone ever acted the way the rouge did without expectations, ulterior motives, unsavoury goals. People were only "nice" when they benefited, only "kind" when it suited them. So far Hawke had subverted his expectations again and again, but that did not mean that the man could be trusted, it simply meant that Fenris had not yet figured out what the rouge wanted.

"I... I don't understand you, Hawke," Fenris admitted.

Hawke's expression softened, his gaze steady as he met Fenris' uncertain eyes. "I know you don't. And I don't expect you to trust me just because I say so. But maybe... just maybe, you could give me a chance to prove myself."

Fenris hesitated, his mind swirling with conflicting emotions. Hawke's persistent kindness and teasing felt like a foreign language that he struggled to comprehend. "You act as if it is so easy," Fenris murmured as he looked away.

"It's not easy," Hawke admitted. "Trust isn't something that comes easily to either of us. But maybe, if we're willing to take a leap of faith, we can find something worth holding onto."

Fenris remained silent for a moment, grappling with his thoughts. The noise of the marketplace seemed to fade into the background as he looked at Hawke, really looked at him for perhaps the first time without the lens of suspicion clouding his vision.

"I've trusted before," Fenris finally spoke,

"And it always led to pain."

Hawke nodded slowly, "I understand. But I'm not asking you to trust blindly. I'm asking for a chance to show you that not everyone has ulterior motives. That friendship, companionship, can be genuine."

Fenris searched Hawke's face, searching for any hint of deceit or hidden agenda. What he found instead was sincerity, an earnestness that mirrored his own longing for connection, hidden beneath layers of past betrayals and scars.

"I have my doubts," Fenris admitted quietly, almost reluctantly. "But perhaps... perhaps there is some truth in your words."

Hawke's smile widened, a glimmer of hope sparking in his eyes. "Doubts are probably healthy in Kirkwall," he joked, "but I promise, if you give me a chance you wont regret it."

Fenris sighed softly, his gaze flickering between Hawke's earnest expression and the bustling market around them.

"I suppose there's no harm in giving you a chance," Fenris finally conceded

Hawke's grin softened into a genuine smile, relief evident in his eyes. "Thank you, Fenris. I won't let you down."

[ganymedesclock]

What is your favorite incarnation of Princess Zelda in the whole franchise?

This is a little tricky to say, because I'll be honest; one thing I tend to do is take characters like Link and Zelda as kind of cumulative? Every version of Zelda has relevance and every version of Link has relevance to each other.

(this is why I can never get my brain around Linked Universe, though absolutely no ill will to those who create and enjoy it)

But all that said I'll stop waffling and point to Tetra from Wind Waker, and Breath of the Wild's Zelda, for very different reasons. I think this is in no small amount because for me, they are the First and Last Zeldas- at least, as of this writing. Wind Waker was the very first Zelda title I ever played, which makes it more formative for me than the deservedly iconic Ocarina of Time- I encountered OoT as an adult after having grown up with hours and hours of Wind Waker.

Tetra is, IMO, one of the most proactive Zeldas we get in the series. Even if she's a child, she seems more worldly and mature than even some of the young adult Zeldas. I love that cheeky wink that she has and I'd adore it to come back as a character quirk for Zelda, though I understand why not; ever since Twilight Princess we've had a run of Zeldas who pretty clearly haven't felt much like winking.

Tetra manages to be a spitfire without hitting too many "stereotypical girlboss" type qualities; she doesn't feel like she's proving anything about how a girl can fight or whatever. She's a powerful, authoritative leader; we watch her quickly and decisively make plans, and I feel like she sort of sets the prototype for the canny, calculating ally we get in Twilight Princess in Midna (who is, to this day, my all-time favorite Buddy Character)

The scene in the bomb shop where Tetra spots Link but pretends she didn't is a standout favorite, as is the conversation she has with him right before Helmaroc drops in- specifically, when she says, "don't you have something else to worry about?" and points upward. Tetra's casual relationship with danger, and her obvious astuteness and intensity is great. I like that she doesn't really feel like our friend until we've earned it- the same qualities that make her a good leader also make her kind of scary and aloof. Again, she feels like the prototype for Midna in a lot of ways and Midna's the only helper who has an unapologetically selfish agenda.

I don't think it's a good thing to just, bully Link (because he takes a lot of crap from his co-stars) but it's nice to feel like someone is actively setting standards with Link that he has to live up to.

Tetra feels like she's using that aspect of Wisdom for her own designs, and until Link earns her trust, it'll actually work against him. Even if their goals are similar enough they don't really compete, if not for the curse Tetra would absolutely have made good on her word and blasted the back off Outset Island and demanded Nayru's Pearl for herself.

Which makes it brutal when Tetra absolutely gets the knees kicked out from under her by the revelation of- almost literally- the one piece of wisdom she couldn't have. The smart, seafaring tough girl is completely laid low by the revelation she "is Zelda" and has to be "as Zelda" and it takes the entire second act of the game and a kidnapping for her to rebuild that confidence.

It's why I always felt deeply disturbed by Spirit Tracks Zelda and how she's scared of rats and so obviously sheltered, has been led to believe that it's "a family tradition" for Zelda to wait passively for the hero as if her own grandmother only waited because she was forced to, and regretted it the second she got her feet back under her. It feels like Cole's manipulations, or, worse, that Tetra's children betrayed what she stood for and things only even worked out as well as they could because despite everything, Cole couldn't completely crush Zelda's spirit.

And speaking of crushed spirits...

BotW Zelda is just about the opposite in every way. While she's no less intelligent than Tetra, she's running in survival mode. And that, I think, is the kicker- I don't think any version of Zelda is stupid. I think many of them are just doing the best they can with a horrible situation.

BotW Zelda lived most of her life in futility. The brilliance that makes Tetra a shrewd, calculating person is reflected here in the most destructive way possible. I'm endlessly haunted by the cutscene of her standing at one of the shrines, musing in frustration that there has to be some kind of backdoor, there always is- a cutscene we only see after we know that Ganondorf was able to level Hyrule in this game because of the existence of that exact backdoor.

Zelda reached out and knocked on the walls of Ganon's prison long before he ever moved to attack, and thought nothing of it, because she is just a stupid girl who can't do anything right.

Where Skyward Sword Zelda is broken by the memory of Hylia, and how Hylia does not appear to have perceived any meaningful distinction in where she ended and Zelda began, BotW Zelda yearns for that cruelty. She begs the statue of Hylia to at least "tell [her] what's wrong with [her]", while being brutally cut down by her father at every single turn.

(Sorry, Rhoam. Whatever your intentions or fears, what you did to your daughter was abuse, flat-out)

If Tetra knows exactly who she is until the floor is dropped out from underneath her, BotW Zelda is the opposite; she spends so long mired in doubts and misery that the ultimate culmination of her power is the saddest possible epiphany- it's just being in so much of a crisis that nothing she does matters anymore. It's the soul equivalent of hysteric strength and I cannot begin to imagine the muscles she tore within herself to maintain that for a hundred years.

And even then, it's clear in her telepathic communications to Link she is still so sorry, still feeling so pathetic and helpless. Swimming in the Malaise, seemingly largely without lucidity, she might as well still be kneeling in a shrine begging a stone to talk to her; just instead of a statue, she's across from a screaming, wrathful, self-ascended god not speaking any language she understands.

But when I say "I think Zelda is cumulative" it's with the fact of, no matter how different Tetra and Zelda seem from each other... Tetra would make so much sense to BotW's Zelda. Everything Zelda wishes she was- such a badass you don't even take a lack of power for granted. There IS a backdoor, and it's called having a fuck-off galleon with big old fuck-off guns and a bunch of burly men who will heed your word. Despite being "a nobody" who forgot her royal lineage entirely to survive, Tetra rules like a queen on the high seas- besides the ghost ship and a few sunken wrecks we don't see a boat anywhere near the size of Tetra's pirate vessel and a portrait in Hyrule Castle unsubtly paints her crew as directly analogous to the retainers and court that her ancient ancestor commanded. She fearlessly requisitions one of the most expensive shops on Windfall Island and faces no consequences.

If Ganondorf pities her, it's that she's the queen of such a small, empty world- subtextually threaded into his comments to Link, how much he sees himself in both of them at that point, as he was also once the highly-skilled sovereign of a wasteland that hampered his ambitions like a tiger in a cage.

BotW and Wind Waker are both apocalypses, but they seem to reflect different forms of apocalypse. Wind Waker is an apocalypse of clarity, arguably; Tetra is nearly a fully-actualized Wisdom Bearer and one of the most bold and powerful Zeldas despite a lack of holy magic- she quite frankly doesn't need it, and uses the light arrows Link himself acquired elsewhere. The sacred regalia is just another treasure to plunder from a blind ocean. More than in any other game, Ganondorf speaks to Link and Tetra, and explains who he is- and wonders who they are, even in anger. Before the final fight, he even expresses a willingness to leave them alone if he's able to restore Hyrule- a pretty strong statement considering his curse voiced in OoT and echoed (preempted?) by Demise in Skyward Sword. There was so much clarity at the antediluvian end that the cycle very nearly stopped there, with the end of Ganondorf's anger.

BotW, despite being a fuller, more 'flourishing' world in all ways- the bounty of Hyrule's landscape even in decline is a direct contrast to the fishless Great Sea- is an apocalypse of amnesia. Zelda doesn't know who she is. She has no foundation to operate with confidence on. It's not a lack of intelligence, and it's not a lack of skill, and it's not a lack of craftsmanship. It's some intangible thing that she grapples furiously with and even at the end of the game she tiredly communicates that she has no control over it, and calling it once in a blind panic that somehow lasted a century without aging her means nothing- that power vanished and left her just where she started.

She remains a flower that can't be saved, such that the only thing that can be done for it is abandon it and hope, which is exactly what happened during the calamity. And yes, that flower was strong enough... but at what cost? It came with no understanding. Ganondorf is absent for BotW, acting by proxy from somewhere deep underground. We are faced with distorted, faceless echoes of Ganondorf, the Calamity and Blights, shadows in the water, and his thinking and his motives are completely ambiguous. With the name of the triforce being seemingly forgotten entirely in BotW, all of its bearers are lost in different ways:

The identity, autonomy, personality, of the bearer of Power has been buried and subsumed such that his blood boils out of cracks in the rock screaming that it will not be subjugated but the contents of his words are lost.

The bearer of Courage fatally overtaxes himself, because in a do-or-die moment he dies anyway, and cannot accept it, surviving at the cost of almost everything else that matters. At the end of it all, the person he spent everything to save timidly asks him if he even remembers who she is.

And the bearer of Wisdom, thwarted by an inability to put the pieces together, not because she's any stupider or weaker than her predecessors but because so much of the puzzle has been destroyed she can't know what's missing. Who knows, Zelda! Maybe, like Tetra, you have only half of the triforce of wisdom and should be tearing all over creation looking for small golden triangles! You can't know that, because you don't seem to know what the triforce is anymore or what that light in your hand means!

[traumxrei-archive]

【 book 6 thoughts ! (2) 】

hello, back at it again w/ more thoughts on book 6 ^^ (this one's a lot longer than the first one so oops)

part : one, two, three, four / ??

[ warning !! spoilers from 6-16 till 6-35 under the cut ]

[ about : ...acting director idia.... ]

i'm sorry. i laughed when he said "i'm the BOSS". like he was doing so good on the intimidating with the "don't you guys know where you are? don't you know who i am?" and then he just HAD to say the cringiest line in all of humankind.

but tbh, it's interesting to see idia's more cynical side pop out. usually he's very self-serving, but that's bc his goals don't involve other people, his goals are usually stuff he does for himself, but after being named acting director, you can see how callous he's acting toward the other dormleaders. usually he would mind his own business in the corner, but now he's holding his ground bc he was given the authority.

DESPITE THAT. the one thing i appreciate is that he keeps on emphasizing not using unnecessary violence. one of the charons was about to blast riddle again, and he was the one who stopped that. idk it was just a gesture that stuck out to me.

[ about : the history lesson ]

it's interesting to hear that idia's family came from such...rich history. i mean, being one of the pillars of enforcement basically ? punishing those who abandoned principals ? that's a heavy cross to bear. especially with the fact that society basically abandoned/forgot them after magic became more well introduced into the world.

also malleus added that they used to lock up overbloters in the island of woe and that it was idia's ancestor who watched over the island. it begs the question, how many overbloters are kept in captivity ? like i'm sure that the old old ones died, but are there those that are alive ? or even the blot monsters of those who have died ? (since, iirc, crowley mentioned that the blot monster can outlast the overbloter if they run out of magic n die)

also. floyd brings up a good point. for an organization that works in secrecy, they sure made a really big ruckus coming in to take the overbloters. he brings up the fact that they probably have a good way of covering up all of this, which begs the question, what kind of cover up will they do ? since this is a magic world, could it be they'll wipe everyone's memories ? of styx and of the people that were taken, so people don't try searching for them ?

[ about : crewel's concern ]

crewel scanned jack n yuu for injuries before leading them to where epel + adeuce were. and how he offered to patch up yuu's minor injuries sniffs,,,, he talks tough, about how he's going to teach them a lesson n stuff, but i think it's bc he as an educator feels like he failed. he feels partly responsible for not teaching them how to fight safely ++ that they didn't try to call him for help. and the way he's so protective of them.....dad crewel agenda is actually happening everyoneeee

[ about : rook's escape ]

NOT ROOK. NOT HIM BEING WORRIED ABOUT VIL NOT HAVING SKINCARE I'M ACTUALLY WHEEZINGGG—

tbh i think he's using it as a cover up. ofc he cares about vil deeply. as a person. not just his skin. but like,,,,i do wonder why he's emphasizing the skincare so much. i think he's trying to deflect from the fact that vil could actually be in a dire situation by using the shoot and skincare as a distraction. but. rook honey.....just say you're worried about vil man.....

i do think that rook's plan is. stupid. bc why would he go alone ? he clearly has the means to find the isle of woe, but how is he going to bust through styx security without any back up ? i'm 90% sure he's acting mostly based on emotion, and that's why he's in such a rush to head over there w/o any real plan,,,,,, (sob, i was right,,,in 2-23 he talks abt how he's worried about vil and angry at the styx dudes)

[ about : yuu's plight ]

i feel. really bad for yuu bc of all they went through. first, they lose grim to the blot crystals,,,,they haven't seen him in weeks bc crowley was doing who knows what with him. and then when they do see him, he's in a cage and being taken away w/ the rest of the ob gang.

then, their home gets completely destroyed. that's only the tip of the iceberg, because they watch as their friends fight against this mysterious organization that slowly takes them away, and they can't do anything because...they don't have magic.

they arrive at the infirmary with minimal wounds while their friends are bedridden, and they can't do anything to help them. they're torn between staying and going with rook bc they're afraid they'll just be dead weight,,,,,but going anyway bc of their determination to find grim and get him back. like if you didn't think yuu was resilient before, think again.

[ about : map of the world ]

when you hit 6-23, you can see a map of a portion of twisted wonderland and :000 it's really cool to see ^^ so the closest country to sage island is the "land of dawning". there are names that i recognize n names i don't. obv we know about shaftlands, queendom of roses, and the briar valley. but we don't know anything about the kingdom of heroes, sunshine lands, or the land of dawning. i do wonder if we'll ever get to go there in future events, or if they'll forever remain unexplored.

[ about : rook's UM !!! ]

!! i think his UM is really cool !!! rook calls it weak, but i see it as a very persistent spell, and it fits well with his skillset + personality. and as epel says, it's pretty intimidating. if he has it cast on you, you wouldn't be able to lose him. like ever. and the line he says ?? "come, see if you can flee from me. arrow afar!" that's so rook ? see if you can flee from me, i mean c'mon. the arrow leaving its quiver sound as he casts it, and his confidence is so damn cool >:DD (also we are welcoming rook hunt into the rich boys club. immediately.)

[ about : STYX welcome movie ]

first off. "safe use" of technomantic technology my ASS, y'all walked into a MF SCHOOL and started zapping everyone who retaliated with stunning spells all while wearing anti-magic suits that were wwwayy too much defense for going against teens.

n the phantom database. does that mean they have a database on all the phantoms that they've been able to capture alive ? or do they...keep phantoms from before too ? magical disaster prediction, does that mean predicting overblots ? a lot of questions indeed

[ about : phantoms ]

all the talk about phantoms has me thinking back to the mines. bc that CLEARLY was a phantom that adeugrimyuu encountered at the beginning of their NRC careers. the question is, who's phantom was it, and why didn't STYX take that phantom in for research if they have eyes and ears everywhere ?

and the fact that even creating phantoms is a rare thing ? on top of overblotting being a rare thing ? i can see why STYX just had to get their hands on our ob gang, given that each of them weren't consumed + manifested phantoms + recovered fine, there might be a link between their obs that even they didn't see.

[ about : utilizing blot safely ]

ok it makes a ton of sense. now hear me out. blot is seen as this unnecessary byproduct to doing magic, and it's also harmful to the mage + those around them. the fact that STYX wants to turn this around and try to figure out a way to use blot is a natural thing. it's the same thing w/ humans in our world turning plastic bottles into ecobricks or animal manure into biofuels, attempting to turn something harmful into something useful is like. mankind's thing.

[ about : SSR Troublemakers ]

yk that's a pretty catchy name for the overblot gang. maybe i should start calling them that instead of overblot gang jskfjsdf

[ about : trials w/ riddle, vil, azul ]

okay so the first trial was in a vr space that looked like a virtual space + they were fighting ortho n the charons. they said everything was pretty normal.

they mention a lachesis system,,,,lachesis is the second of the three fates, the one who measures the length of the thread n decides how much time a human has left.

second trial, they're in the cafeteria ? oH GOD they're gonna have them fight the vice housewardens ??? isn't that playing dirty ?? ofc they wouldn't wanna fight against the people they care about. and framing it as them wanting to wrest the dormleader seat from them by dueling just adds to the betrayal !! it's natural that there's an increase in blot production, probably bc of the negative emotions they were feeling in combination w/ having to fight their friends

[ about : trials w/ jamil n leona]

trial one, vr space once more. since the results are likely the same, i won't go into details about it, but like...how are they measuring blot when they aren't using magic irl ? technically, they're only using magic in the VR world, so how come their blot levels are rising in the real world too ?

trial two, oughhh not ruggie n kalim,,,, ofc leona kingscholar and his sexy brain can see through the illusion that they wove. he starts attacking ruggie right away instead of waiting. (also i'm. his laugh. guys his laugh. ok bye) like whew the amount of levelheadedness and quick thinking this guy has in unknown situations is so ?? cool ??? and then ofc, jamil being very quick on the uptake as well, we are looking at two big brained ppl rn. (not idia getting annoyed at jamileo figuring out the system in one go—)

[ about : analysis time ! ]

imma summarize the results down below, just bc it'd be interesting to see everyone's results side by side

riddle:

pros; very quick casting, magic pool larger than avg (might be due to receiving special training when younger; magic pool built up from hard work)

cons; when he's indecisive he uses brute-force to overwhelm the enemy (an inefficient use of power), blot accumulation spikes dangerously with output, mental state is heavily impacted by surroundings (more stressed in trial two, therefore more blot accumulated)

result; high offense, very low defense -> glass canon ranged DPS (ok not idia saying riddle's a glass canon *insert moyai emoji*)

azul:

pros; good grasp over precision and control, takes in surroundings to play support, calm and efficient (could also be using others as shields), utilizes a wide range of spells

cons; slow caster, magic pool insufficient to sustain his range of spells (makes him careful with his spells)

result; cautious fighting style with precision and control -> healer that observes the field from the back

vil:

pros; the icon of stability, high manifestation speed, potency aND his magic pool is substantial, solid in both offense and defense (w/o specialized training), physically and mentally resilient (stress doesn't affect his blot much), unique magic lasts a long time

cons; nothing ??? (they legit did not have anything to say abt vil.)

result; being the icon of stability and consistency -> a tank that calls that shots for the rest of the party

leona:

pros; superior casting speeds, superior magic pool (received extensive magic instruction as a kid), efficient in using magic (tailors spells to enemy output; reduces accumulation of blot), stress didn't have much affect on blot, great mental fortitude

cons; when he does experience intense emotions, it could cause a drastic spike in blot accumulation

result; would be suited for tank but isn't a leader

jamil:

pros; efficiency over speed (similar to azul), quick and precise with defensive magic (due to guarding kalim ?)

cons; constantly worried about his reserves

result; could probably handle being in any position -> melee DPS that supports tank OR healer class

[ about : river lethe ]

HELLO. what do you mean. by "everyone who's had a run in with STYX goes down the River Lethe" ????? "that system can erase us from anyone's memory and from any data" ??? SO THIS WAS THE. so this was the countermeasure that STYX had built up. which is why they were so ballsy with their invasion of NRC.... (it's sad to think that idia doesn't even want to try making friends, bc in the end, when he becomes a researcher at STYX, all traces of him will get erased in the river lethe, so he sees no point)

[ about : grim TT^TT ]

omg GRIM beloved omg grim— oh god it's so cruel that he remembered hurting yuu and the first years all fighting for him,,,,the fact that he thinks that he got captured just bc he hurt yuu SNIFFS i swear i am not crying. i swear. i swear i am nOt sad bc he started crying and his voice sounded teary

"am i never goin' back home to ramshackle ?" HHHHHHHH im not built for this please stop my heart is literally going to break huhuhuuuuu

okAY i think this is a good enough stopping point for now, bc the next chapter is back to the rescue gang ! even though i just received the most hEARTBREAKING CLIFFHANGER IN THE HISTORY OF EVER !! stay tuned for uh. more heartbreak tomorrow *finger guns* (o yea, feel free to send stuff about book 6 to my inbox if you wanna chat ^^ i'd love to share theories n opinionsss)

[justatalkingface]

I have tons of things to say. But can I say this: do you think Izu is more used to prop others characters and no one does that for him?

Look not saying people need to worship him. But Shoto can traumadump on Izu, but Izu can't ever talk about himself or his struggles.

And I'm not sure if is intentional or not. (I do think Hori is a bad writer, I do think Hori hates his mc but...at the same time, to hate a character you need to think about him...sometimes feels he never thinks about Izu)

Yes.

In a very real sense, this honestly is a lot of Izuku's characterization at this point; sacrificing himself to help others, both as a person and as a character.

Or, to be pithy: Izuku's goal in life seems to be to literally martyr himself for others, in every possible way he can, and there's no sign that's ever going to stop.

There's also the writing, which uses Izuku as a convenient point to support a character or an idea, as a not-so-subtle way to tell the audience that, 'You should like this!', and to some extent, these two things mix with each other to the point where it's hard to distinguish what's what, but...

It's easy to point at, like Izuku being Shoto's trusted vent friend, for example, and say that's Izuku being, well, supportive for one of his friends. That makes sense. Then you think about it and realize that, for all their parallels in situations, with Shoto and Endeavour to Izuku and Bakugou, neither of them ever... bring that up. Izuku never vents back to Shoto, even though I'm sure he'd be happy to return the favor, and Shoto never reaches out to Izuku, his first friend.

Why? Is it because Izuku is too traumatized and too used suppressing his negative emotions to bring it up? Is Shoto still too unsocialized to know to ask? Or does Hori just not want to bring that up?

Any or all of that is probably correct, depending on what point we're at in the story.

And then Bakugou, while we're at it; to some extent, there is definitely some Hori work in the background making sure they're "friends" despite all logic, but looking at how Izuku acts, and how he used to think (because we can no longer see him think on screen any more)... how much of that is forced? How much of that is that Izuku just wanting to help Bakugou? How much is his old awe of his old tormentor, always so superior in every way to the pathetic Deku (and, for the record, I put 'Deku' very much as Izuku being used to support Bakugou, specifically to protect him from having to grow the fuck up and use his actual name), and long engrained habits to the tune of, 'Bakugou is never in trouble, so don't even bother because it will only hurt me?'

Again, the answer is basiclly, 'Yes'.

The thing is, even before Hori started messing up the plot to push one agenda or another, one of Izuku's biggest traits was self-destructive behavior; hell, even as a kid, he would try to protect others, even at his own expense. It's clear that at this point in canon, no matter how much better it should be by now, that Izuku still has no self worth, and thus, little to no need to protect or prioritize himself and his needs.

He doesn't value himself, so him taking on extra burdens from others, and refusing to talk about his own, isn't just likely, it's still canon. But at the all the same....

Like, Endeavour. Izuku spends a lot of time with him, doesn't tell anyone about the blatant abuse, and even tells Shoto 'you're already try to forgive him', and that? That is just so forced. That's just Hori dropping Izuku next to someone he wants to be more popular, and hoping that his 'I'm A Good Guy' energy rubs off.

So... ultimately the answer is C, all of the above. Izuku does his best to be everyone's hero, it tears him apart because that's impossible, and he doesn't see anything wrong with that. Hori is trying to use him to support his other characters, and prevent the parts of him that he doesn't like anymore from coming up, so no one ever really talks about Izuku's problems, even if they actually would, or why he's like this, or how he feels about things, and of course Izuku would never be so rude to bring up his own problems when they could possibly inconvenience someone!

To be frank, at this point being Hori's character support character is so interwoven into Izuku's characterization that we're long past the point where it could be excised realistically; this is something that's ruined his growth as a person for years now, and would require changes to Izuku and others long before The War Arc, much less the last arc of the story, changes that would organically change how people interacted with him and how he responds to them, changes that would escalate naturally over time to the point where many characters, especially Izuku, and even the story itself would be drastically different than they are now.

But... well. Izuku doesn't get nice things. He just gets to be everyone else's nice thing.

[reimeichan]

The Crowded Room Thoughts Part 2

God there's so much to talk about since my last post. A lot of my thoughts have changed since then and a lot have... gone along the same line and just matured, if that makes sense. This gets REALLY LONG, so I've put everything under a read more. Spoilers for up to Episode 7 ahead.

The Good:

The series has actually picked up since Episode 5. The episodes are actually more intriguing and the story pacing, while still slow, matches what I'd expect at this point. It allows time for you to really marinate on some thoughts and cook up some theories about what's going on while still being intriguing enough to pull you forward to see what else there is. It's a bit of a shame that it took until episode 5 for me to really start enjoying the series but I suppose better late than never.

In regards to the DID rep, there's definitely a lot of things I resonate with. I don't and never have really experienced my alters externally like Danny does; I don't experience having lived with my Yitzak or Ariana equivalents, or having friends I went to school with like Jonny or Mike. However, I do recognize that this may be how other people experience their alters. The constant struggle of trying to remember things you did, and casually brushing off memory problems as just having "worse memory than other people but it's not a big deal" type of way, was something I did a lot pre-diagnosis. Different alters having different strengths, sometimes literally, is also something I experience.

My favorite thing, though, is how they showed the alters interacting with each other. Not in the first few episodes when Danny is retelling his story to Rya, but rather, when we see what's happening internally in Episode 7. They argue with each other, they support each other, they may have their own agendas or goals but in the end they want what's best for Danny, or rather, what's best for all of them. The way Yitzak and Jack argue back and forth over what they should do mirrors a lot of what Green and Pink do in our system. And I really, really liked showing how, when the alter is standing in the light shining into the barn mindscape/inner world, that's the alter that's fronting right there. It's such a good imagery and taken directly from the book itself. And, it shows that, even when the alter is in the literal spotlight, they can still hear and understand what's going on with the other alters.

Externally, it's also really fun watching Tom Holland act as the different alters. He especially kills it at Jack masking as Danny, with that slight posh English accent that he's trying to minimize, though I also enjoyed watching him as Jonny. The series does enjoy showing Tom switching between the alters too, and while I do have my own personal grief with how switching is treated more acceptably in media than it is irl... I do still admit that Tom does a good job at it. I especially enjoyed watching him switch from Yitzak to Jack and then being immediately tackled by the guards (switching from Yitzak to Mike is a close second).

I also appreciate the series including how the people around Danny are reacting to his switches in personality. Confusion how he's acting differently, anger when he seemingly doesn't keep his promises (when usually they're dealing with another alter who may not know what's going on), fear when he's being so incredibly out of character he ends up doing something he normally wouldn't... These are all responses I've gotten from my own switches. And, the best part of it? The alters aren't (usually) trying to pretend to be the same person (with the exception of Jack), they're just being themselves. The people around them notice that they're acting differently. They're a more overt system, but because nobody understands or even suspects what MPD (now DID) is, or even believes it exists, they all just see him as Danny being erratic and confusing.

And then.... his childhood. He has such a positive, glowing idea of who his mother is while fearing and, at least distrusting, if not absolutely hating, his stepfather. He only recalls the good aspects of his mother, but when we see her in the present day talking to Rya, we see a haggard woman who may love her son but also is not present, either physically or emotionally, in his life. She's not the perfect mother that Danny paints her as in his story. And it's clear that his life even before meeting Marlin was difficult; his father left him and his mother, after all, and we hear her and her boss talking about how terrible of a spouse he was. And I think the story handles Marlin's abuse of Danny/Adam fairly tastefully. We never see what actually happens to him/them in the barn, but we do see Rya's horrified reaction afterwards, and I think that was the perfect way to paint that aspect of the story. No explicit details, but the emotional impact is still there.

(I am still not fully convinced either way that Adam is either a truely biological twin brother or another alter, so I am being vague about his involvement/identity at this time)

And that ending of Episode 7.... god, when Danny looks at Rya and starts crying, talking about the voices in his head.... that was pretty much how we looked in our first session with our first DID therapist. We we so lost and confused. I really saw myself in that moment and I complete related to what Danny was going through at that time.

The Bad:

As stated, the pacing of the story for episodes 1-4 is really slow. It takes a lot of time to establish the characters, particularly the friends/housemates (which we now know to be other alters in the system). I personally feel like some of the scenes could have been cut shorter or even removed altogether and the point would have still gotten across. If anything, episodes 1-4 could have probably been condensed into 2 episodes.

The dialog/writing of the story also feels a little bit clunky at times. Some of the phrases feel forced, kind of like the writers went, "oooo, that's a really good, poetic line!" but left in there unnaturally against the flow of the dialog. Sometimes the characters seem to suddenly jump to a thought or idea and it just feels completely out of the blue; Rya pointing out the picture of Jack, for example, and then questioning if Danny ever spoke in an English accent, had absolutely no build up to why she'd even ask about the accent (god, that entire scene where she and Matty are talking in the kitchen is just really bad writing).

(tw: mentions and talk of CSA for the next paragraph, skip it if you don't want to read it.)

For the DID aspects of the story, I understand that the writers are likely trying to go for a more accurate portrayal of how DID/MPD was seen back in the 1980s when this story takes place, but it feels almost irresponsible how this is handled. I'm not even talking about the usage of the words "personalities" or calling it split/multiple personalities. I don't appreciate them bringing up Sybil in this series when that case study is filled with controversy including the fact that the true patient did not actually have MPD. And the thing Rya says where "multiple personality results almost solely from extreme.... sexual abuse in early childhood" is so, SO INCREDIBLY MISLEADING. I understand wanting to put emphasis on the possibility that Danny has been sexually abused by his stepfather in the story, but this is just irresponsible writing because that is not true. They could have said it has a high correlation with sexual abuse in childhood, or that MPD is often caused by extreme childhood abuse including sexual abuse. But to say it's soley extreme CSA? That's just untrue and just flat-out misinformation. I do not care if it was how MPD/DID was understood back in the 80s. This series is published in 2023. You can do better. This is honestly my biggest gripe with the series thus far.

(tw over)

Overall Thoughts:

Additionally, I'm not sure how I feel about certain portrayals of what's going on in the barn/inner world of the Danny system in episode 7. Jack shoots Yitzak, and Yitzak is presumed dead (or placed with the undesirables). The others act as if they will all die if Danny agrees to have Rya help him. Here's the thing: alters cannot die. They can go dormant, or be locked away (not recommended during the healing process but still a thing to acknowledge is possible), or prevented from communicating with other alters. Alters can split. Alters can fuse. They do not actually die in the same way a person dies in the physical world. The way the other alters talk about the situation makes it sound as if them disappearing is a death sentence (which reminds me of a lot of rhetoric surrounding fusion and how fusion is making alters disappear and thus die, which is.... not correct). And perhaps that's simply because they are alters and not professionals. And perhaps the series may show that Yitzak is not actually dead. But as it currently stands, I do not really enjoy this particular aspect of how the show presents alterhood.

The part I actually dislike the most in regards to the alter interactions is how they all talk about what's best for *Danny*. The host. Not the system as a whole, not each other. Danny. This reinforces the idea that alters are there to serve and protect/help the host alter. Which, I personally believe is not the most healthy way to portray system dynamics. Each alter in the system is just as valid and important as each other, including the host alter. The host is no more important than the other alters. I am aware some systems will put more emphasis on assisting the host than for the system as a whole, but I... personally wish that this show would show that all the alters are equal to each other.

I think I have very complicated feelings about this show. I want it to be good, I so, so badly do. I don't really know what direction this show is going to go in when it comes to DID rep. I think Tom Holland has really approached his portrayal of Danny Sullivan with a lot of nuance. I think the showrunner and writers wanted to take the time to approach this disorder with respect and understanding. I'm not sure how much they are succeeding at that, honestly. I really do need to see this show all the way until the end, and maybe even rewatch it, to have a fuller picture of how good or bad or in-between The Crowded Room is.

[wherestarsarestillasleep]

sigma could have been such an interesting character if theyd more delved into his role making the ambidex project and the conviction mindset needed for that and and how his young -> old -> young iterations of himself feel about facing each other

sigma displays some of the most compassion of any ze character over the course of vlr and he's the guy who set it up but there's like little room for him to dwell on that with the pacing of the ending of vlr and the back to back reveals and ztd just like. there Isn't conflict and he's.. he acts different than vlr but in a way that he's just like. calmer and more serious more or less imo

when akane offscreen and in implication must deal with the horror of discovering she is the mastermind thats been tormenting the players of 999 she reckons with the fact that is a person she will grow into of her own volition. she will end up holding that conviction herself she Is zero, zero is her future. she'll end up a person who decided to do all of that herself

sigma isnt the same because sigma really is not zero. its just a title for him its still akane with all the driving will and planning, he is just executing her plans. sigmas role is to do what someone else told him. and she tells him to do something thats theoretically fundamentally against his rather strong sense of morality, to an end that does align with it. but it still must have had to shift significantly. it is not a plan on his own conviction and it is not an even plan between equals because akane always has her own agenda and she lies to him about it. but apparently she does it convincingly enough that sigma keeps a conviction that wasn't his own, one to follow instructions for a goal he's been given and accepted without much of his own thought in the moment we see him agree to it, for Forty Five Years

[dearweirdme]

Hi, I'm the one who asked you if it was Tae in the Paris video.

Well, first of all, I'm not trying hard to not "believe" that it was him so it would make me doubt Taekook, of course not.

I don't know what was the purpose of this Paris walk but I know for sure that it's beneficiated one person and it was that girl.

I have plenty of proofs why it wasn't him : the walk, the body, the face, etc. Everything has been debunked by accounts on Twitter the moment the video went viral.

And when I said: "stoop this low", I was thinking about the act of someone like Tae ( a big celebrity from the biggest boyband in the world and also a pretty busy person) agreeing to walk with someone around a city with cameras following them just for people to think he is straight or clear his homosexual agenda.

This just doesn't make sense to me, because he gave multiple hints that he wasn't involved in that and showed even MORE of his homosexual side afterward.

So what was the point of it all if it was him??

Now honestly I want to know your reasons for thinking this was Tae.

Hi anon!

Paris is the only thing that gives Taennie some credibility. Without that walk, it would just be some rumors. So many Tkkrs stopped believing after that walk.. and that’s the purpose right.. less people had to think Tae could be queer. That’s the principle of closeting.. the less people think someone is queer.. the safer. But without that walk.. it was very much.. are they, aren’t they. This solidified it for many people. Job done.

I don’t think Tae gave any hints of that not having been him. I think he did try to distance himself after, by untagging Taennies for instance. What matter most in this is that Tae has had an evident female relationship. It doesn’t matter what he did afterwards with Layover or on socials to ‘hint’ at his queerness. The ‘relationship with a female’ is what is on most people’s minds. Tae will go into the army with a breakup with Jennie fresh in everyone’s minds. That is what this has done and what people think of right now… not of him wearing a Disney pride hoody a while back.

I think the movements and body language all fit Tae. You can even see how he wasn’t into it at all. At the clearer pictures I think it is also his face (that blown up pic with a gap between his teeth is manipulated to an extreme, so I tend to lean to that being the work of a fan). His manager was there. He was dressed full in Celine. There were a lot of people around. The pap talked about it in extreme. It was Jennie there as wel.

I don’t automatically take accounts on Twitter to be the source of knowledge and my own analysis is that it’s them. To me there’s more pointing to it being them than to it not being them. Is there weirdness involved? Absolutely. Weird scheduling stuff, weird footage, weird backstory from the pap… but I do think those people are Tae and Jennie.

Is it possible the stuff was shot at a different time, sure. But when something like this is thought up, there’s a goal they want it to reach. There’s money and schedules involved (paid pap, possible paid fans). The main goal was to get attention to Jennie’s show, the side effect was closeting for Tae. There was no room for failure (being found out for faking it) because then the goal would not have been reached. Jennie’s show would not have gotten the attention, Tae would not have gotten the cover… and.. how were they supposed to trust again? Just going for a rerun in another city would have been idiotic and not credible.. and it would have had to been them that time to not blow up in their faces again.

There’s plenty of celebs who do this. Harry Styles (every other weekend during Holivia) Taylor Swift (now this new thing seems real.. but tell me it’s not also pr), the Kardashians.. all big names.. all going on papwalks themselves. Are idols above this? Why would they be? Especially with Hybe and Yg involeved.

It’s not really on us to judge how someone deals with their closet anon. You might feel people should be above that, but that is not exactly how the world works. Plenty of big celebs have had to walk around with someone from the opposite sex to come across as straight. That is not something to think lightly about. Plenty of common people have to get a friend to accompany them to a family event to act as a date… for covering up their sexuality. Being famous only means you have more of a spotlight on you. We talk about Tae and Jk not being safe in the army all the time.. why is taking that step so not understandable?

[wackybuddiemewbs]

Random thoughts about 6x13 before we can move on with life again

OMG. That whole episode was chaotic perfection!!! I really love those "filler episodes" that are just wacky calls, mingled with some domestic firefam shenanigan, a lot of Buddie goodness, and some heartfelt drama. Like, girls (gn), we've been FED this whole episode.

Here a not at all ordered assembly of what was going through my mind, watching the episode:

Human Calculator Evan Buckley

I do hope Buck gets to keep his math skillz a while longer. And I'd really love to see it come in useful on a more serious call, too? But oh well, a fangirl can dream. Chimney asking if he did math "in his head???" was sending me. Just like Eddie's facial journeys during the math homework scene. Like, he's such a muppet.

On a more serious note, I wonder what they are going to do with that, moving forward. They laid on pretty heavy with the whole theme of figuring out the equation (hence answers in life), missing the assignment, and how Buck's skills may only be temporary. So it might be that he'll lose his way again (the same way his math skillz may leave again). We'll have to see. But it's... intriguing.

Babytrap and Sugarbaby

Like seriously. They stole this straight out of fanfic, I'm not even kidding. Eddie is babytrapping Buck so hard, only to start hustling together with him, and Buck happily handing over the money. Eddie Diaz, I'm in your walls.

Love to see Eddie being like: I will use your abilities, for evil. This guy (affectionate).

For real, though. What is the point of all that if not to give those two a nudge in the right direction (aka each other's muscly arms and taut tummies)? Eddie taking out Buck for poker dates... Them doing crime together... Them doing homework over at Buck's apartment... Buck being alone with Christopher to make cookies for school??? What is even happening??? And what's the point if not the BUDDIE AGENDA???

Also, Eddie Diaz, wear some sunglasses, your hearteyes are showing. Geez, wear some protection, you freak.

The Man with the Answers

Speaking of which, Buck's journey this season has now taken him to the stage where he feels like he is the one having the answers he's been seeking for so very long. He began this season, reading self-help books and asking e.g. Hen for the right answers. After his coma dream, Buck figured out some things about himself. He learned to appreciate his inherent value and could let go of the ghost of Daniel haunting him ever since that revelation.

Which is to say: They're moving the chess pieces in the right position, for the strategy to fully unfold. And I do believe it is the Buddie Agenda, I do.

I think a big hint was Eddie telling Christopher that the point of doing the homework himself instead of letting Buck run the calculations is that this is what's for Buck in store as well. Buck will only truly learn and get those life lessons he's so desperately seeking if he's the one to find the answers. He can't rely on self-help books or the opinions of others. He has to figure out that equation entirely on his own. He has to figure himself out.

Details that pointed me in a similar direction:

Buck telling Eddie why he didn't just get more gas: Because figuring it out was "more fun". AKA the getting to the destination is actually the goal. Buck is already where he needs/wants to be.

Eddie pointing out that those "superpowers" aren't permanent: Which may indicate that Buck will find himself struggling further down the road. Once he doesn't have the answers anymore (or rather, has them, but doesn't know how to act upon them).

Buck asking Eddie if he thinks Buck knew math all along (which is why it's actually no secret superpower via lightning ex machina): Because yes, Buck, you knew all along how to solve the equation, you're just running the wrong calculations right now. But I have faith in you that you will figure it out. Maybe just use a different measuring system!

Christopher pointing out that Buck may get more superpowers the stronger he gets: Which may be the big hint that Buck can have so much more than he currently has (more powers), the moment he understands that he already has these things (the family unit with Eddie and Christopher). He just has to claim his winnings.

I tend to believe the upshot is going to be that Buck has the answers, he just didn't put them together yet. It's like he has all the puzzle pieces, but he has to stick them together to see the grander picture (the secret ingredient). And my guess would be that it's going to be the resolution of the sperm donor storyline as well. He's looking right at the solution, and yes, it's Eddie and Christopher. And it has been all along.

The Sperm Donor Storyline(s)

Speaking of which YET AGAIN, I do find it interesting that we got this donor parallel (or antithesis) with Nathaniel and Denny vs. Buck and Kameron's and Connor's baby. Like, they now established that Nathaniel will get to play some role in Denny's life, because that is what Denny wants.

Which makes it hard for me to believe that the writers will choose the same route for Buck, also for the plain reason that they seemingly put Buck and Connor on different trajectories. Whereas Hen and Karen had an agreement with Nathaniel to keep his distance, Connor keeps sending sonograms and what not. He involves Buck actively in this whole "process" or "experience", which makes for an entirely different premise of how they are going to negotiate Buck's future role in Connor's life as well as that of Kameron and the child.

Which is something I honestly didn't see coming, I'll admit. I figured they'd take the route that him and Kameron would rather try to push Buck away (while he'd try to push into their lives). Because they chose someone as their donor who's not as much part of their social circle as Buck may have been, back when he and Connor were still roommates. The point being: I thought the storyline was going to be that Buck has to (painfully) accept Connor and Kameron having chosen him as the donor also because he'd be "easier to cut out of" their lives (and that of their child by extension). But that's not the route they are taking thus far.

But in the light of how they chose to have Nathaniel interact with Denny, I guess it makes sense. Because that'd be repetitive, in a way. Which isn't to say that Buck won't overstep and try to insert himself more into their lives than he should. I actually believe he will (it's been foreshadowed with the baby cozy and all). But Connor actively involving him thus far gives me a different vibe from what I'd previously estimated.

I'm interested to see whether they wish to explore how hard they make it on themselves, by Connor having Buck be that invested. Even though the reality is that Buck's always going to be donor not dad for that child. Like, I see great potential there. Just like I see potential character development for Connor, say, in a scenario where he feels like he's not the child's dad or so. And how he may come to struggle with that (or may even project that on Buck). There are many paths this could go.

But to turn this back to Buck here, the Nathaniel-Denny-storyline fits in so damn neatly. And I personally hope we get that kind of antithesis by the end of the season (because I'd find that very neat storytelling, is all). Namely, that Buck will do the opposite thing and extract himself from the child's life, having finally solved the equation that his family equals NOT Buck + baby but Buck + Eddie + Christopher. Because that is the stark contrast with Nathaniel. He doesn't have the family Buck already has. So that'd be the kind of bittersweet finale to that storyline I'd love to see, personally.

The Wilsons and Nathaniel

I still love to see the show standing true to exploring the different shapes family can take, now also by adding Nathaniel to the mix, portraying the tough reality that comes with this. It felt very real to me, how anxious Hen and Karen were that their son was slipping away from them.

I also liked to see Nathaniel owning up to his actions (albeit belatedly) and apologizing for his irresponsibility, without demonizing him. That guy feels very alone in this world, it'd seem, and to seek out that connection with Denny... It felt very human. So I loved to see them making it out to be just that, people making mistakes, but those mistakes being motivated by love.

And I LOVED to see Toni's growth as a character. Like, she's really trying to be there for her family, she serves as the messenger between Denny and his moms. And now she's seemingly also part of the rules Hen and Karen are setting for Nathaniel and Denny to safely interact. I love to see her safeguarding her family by opening up conversation and accepting people for who they are and how they feel. LOVE TO SEE IT. LOVE IT.

Also, loved how the Wilson family seemed to visually match, when they went to see Nathaniel at the hospital. Like, we saw a lot of yellows and blues, which signified to me that they were being there as a unit. Which tells me they're gonna be alright. Or as Toni said, they just need to figure out the right way.

Chimney's Journey to Healing

First of all, loved to see his interaction with Denny and with Hen. He's such a supportive uncle and friend (note: VERY different from what we see Buck and Christopher doing this whole episode, coz Buck ain't his uncle!!!). Like, I loved to see how he showed understanding for Denny and even let on about his own troubled feelings about his father. Even though that must still be heavy on his mind.

I do find it interesting that Chimney and the Buckley children seem to follow the same path: Which is not to forgive their parents, but to choose to let that anger/grief not control their lives anymore. Chimney has a family of his own and it's wonderful. So him coming to terms with his troubled relationship with his father in an effort to embrace the future he has as a family father is great for him. I do hope it pans out like that.

It also shows how the next generations (Chimney, Maddie, Buck) try not to repeat their parents' mistakes by holding on to e.g. grief but to choose to move on and embrace the future instead. Like, Chimney recognizes his father's humanity, well aware that this man's not changed one bit and did the terrible things he did and still does not see his son for what his son sees him (a fallible human being)... it highlights the long way Chimney's come and the great person he's become. And that's owed to the family he's found and his own strong character.

Like, I love to see that we get different versions of breaking vicious cycles.

With Eddie and Ramon, they seem to take a different route, in that Ramon seems to show genuine interest in reconnecting with Eddie, trying to find a better way for them to be father and son again.

With Toni and Hen, we see a similar thing. They reached a level of healing. Also, in that, Toni is stepping in and actively supporting her daughter and her family.

But then we still got those absentee parents who are seemingly never going to get past themselves. Which I feel is... very real in that way? You will have those people in your life. Some of them may even want to change, but they can't, past a certain point. And buying your son a new couch won't mend that relationship because you still haven't taken full accountability for what you've done in the past. Showing up to one family dinner (and being an absolute pest about it) is not going to mend things either. That's as much the reality of troubled family relationships as are the examples where there is a moving forward, together.

3 Minutes and 17 Seconds

That one's still sending me across the universe, right into a black hole. Like, they are nudging Eddie and Buck in a certain direction, but neither one is seemingly ready yet to solve the equation. Eddie knows down to the second how long he lived in a world where Buck was dead. And he feels the need to point that out, unprompted.

I honestly thought they'd have Captain Mehta point back to the shooting regarding the matter. But again, I guess timing is of the essence (maybe also signified by Buck's and Eddie's fancy watches). But after they were told that Eddie was welcome back without Buck as his human calculator, maybe we will see a second poker scene to get us there?

Like, there is something very purposeful about bringing the actor for Captain Mehta back after he left acting, really. You wouldn't do that if it didn't serve a purpose, right? And up until now, I haven't seen it. So maybe Eddie will play poker without Buck. And then Captain Mehta will say something about the shooting that either we as the audience don't know yet (e.g. Eddie lied to Buck about how little he remembers and he's only ever shared that in the poker family) or Eddie doesn't know (what Buck was like after he got shot, something that Captain Mehta witnessed first-hand).

Performance Anxiety Underway

Something that struck me was that Buck was, on the one hand, rather confident in his abilities that he started to hustle with Eddie. On the other hand, he seems very unsure about them (and what they may mean, or if they're meant to stay, or if they've been there all along). It gave me similar vibes to Buck being unsure if something's wrong with him, when the doctors did more and more tests, without telling him what may be wrong with him.

We got a hint in the previous episode that Buck still has a way ahead of him in dealing with his trauma. Right now, he is more caught up in those "new sensations", and doesn't know how to move on with his life. At the poker table, I also had a feeling that there were those moments when he wasn't just confused (as he often tends to be) or putting on a poker face. I felt like he feels out of place in a way, like he doesn't yet know what to do with his abilities/with his life, after this event. He is still doing lists to be sure he's back to reality (back to life), after all.

Deep-down, Buck is immensely insecure. And the moment he felt like something he used to be confident about (his abilities to sexually please his partners) may actually hit closer to home than just... you know, ego. They played it for laughs, having him call the women he's slept with. But they might actually turn this around to be something more serious (i.e. a symptom for something else).

Like, Buck is hellbent on pleasing other people, so potentially not being satisfactory in bed may just be the kind of performance anxiety we may see in the next episode. It ties in with Buck's previous fear that his donation isn't good enough, so he spends weeks being horny and hangry thanks to green smoothies.

If I remember correctly from some of the interviews, Buck has no intention to dip his toes back into the dating pool and will basically have the shutters on for now... Which makes it unlikely for me that he's gonna start sleeping around, to be sure that he's good at sex after all.

But if it wasn't just for laughs, I could see the theme of "having the answers already" coming back into play here. Though I'm not sure how. There's just something to that theme of Buck needing his body to be functional, and how it may give him serious anxiety, feeling like his body isn't doing what it's supposed to do (or rather, what he always believed his body was supposed to do).

On a side note: Buck telling Christopher that he likes to measure everything to feel like an actual chef hit a similar mark to me. Like, Buck is overthinking things, which may make him miss the assignment for now. Buck seemingly feels like he's only pretending at things right now (which may feed into his insecurities, really), or like he has to seize control (measuring things, calculating everything, doing those lists, and texting Bobby). Like. There is something there. I just can't wrap my wee head around it just yet.

So yeah, I can very well see Buck continuing to have performance anxiety. And I'd love to see more of that, in all of its awkward facets.

Healing Starts in the Kitchen

Kitchens continue to be the places to be for meaningful conversations for characters, and it seems to be back in full swing for Buck and Eddie. Last episode, Buck found himself finally relax when he was at Eddie's (and on Eddie's couch, hopefully soon just on Eddie). The conversation with Eddie in the kitchen definitely helped him in some ways, but the road ahead of him is still long.

It's an interesting choice that we continue to see Eddie, Buck, and Christopher being this domestic in the kitchen/at dinner tables. Like, we started out this season with Bobby's infamous lasagna and Boggle, and now we're here for math and popcorn and more math and cookies.

Others have already pointed this out, but Buck learns to express his care by cooking for his loved ones (contrast that with takeaway for his parents and waffles for Taylor at a point in their relationship where they were basically done for already). So having him repeatedly cook for/with Christopher and Eddie is just SUCH a big thing, I believe. We're shown that Buck's not just the uncle to come pick Christopher up when Eddie's car's broke. He is alone with Christopher, baking cookies for school with him. He is not just a donor, not just legal guardian (AKA the backup plan) here. And I do believe that part of Buck's journey is going to be to figure out that part of the equation.

We've already established in previous seasons that Buck's apartment is a safe space for Christopher, and it continues to be a second home for him. In the same way Eddie's house proves to be the same for Buck (as we were reminded last episode). Which has me think that part of the equation for Buck is to fully embrace that, or rather, see it for what it is, namely his path to happiness that's been there all along.

Honorable Mentions

Here's a list of things that was sending me:

Everyone of the firefam is a himbo, except for Athena and Karen. Which drives the point home that they're the only ones with the brain cell. Like honestly, Bobby and Chimney instantly jumping on detective work like that??? Buck calling his past sexual encounters??? They're all himbos, your honor!

Denny, take your damn shoes off when you are in bed, you little punk!!! Your moms raised you better than that!!!

Hen at the hospital being like "My husband? The heterosexual audacity!" was everything.

Buck continuing to creep people out with random knowledge now fueled by the power of math. We stan a himbo icon.

Eddie interrupting Buck thinking about women he's had sex with, like "I did not take you out to sexy poker night for you to use your brain for that right now, you traitor!"

I guess RIP to a favorite headcanon of mine that Buck's gonna blurt out at some point that he's screwed with plenty of guys in the past. Because he specifically started to think about the women he's slept with, though the guy was talking about partners (gn), I believe. If the writers wanted to keep that door open, I guess he would've said people or partners or whatever, too. But I shall keep it for fanfiction purposes forever and always. Because that scenario is always sending me places.

Chimney asking if Buck did math, in his head??? No, Chimney, he did it in yours, now get the hell out of here.

Buck calling the women he's had sex with... oh, those phone bills. Also: We stan a himbo icon yet again.

Buck and Eddie, doing crime, dressed in blue and red, looking damn fine. I'm here for every damn second of it.

Christopher's sass being back in full swing. We stan the one true icon.

So yeah, that's it. For now anyway. I guess I'll ramble a lot more. But I rest easy in the knowledge that Buck and Eddie marrying in Vegas just became a possibility.

Cheers!