#like gob and dee

[sunscall]

canon macdennis would have dennis acting like gone girl

[beefrobeefcal]

I'm gob smacked. bamboozled. bowled over. shocked. delighted. humbled.

I still have asks up the wazoo from my 900 Friendo Celebration, so until The Bistro's 1st birthday [just wait for what I have planned!] there's no special 1K Friendo ask box activities, but the THOT TANK is open, babes!

Thank-you-for-being-a-friendo,

Beefro👌🥩💜

[Sentimental gobble-dee-goop under the cut]

10 months ago, I started this blog, assuming no one would give two onions about fat/chubby/rollie-pollie p-boys & the ravings of a lunatic who had things to say about them. I have never been so happy to be so wrong.

From the brand new lurkers who drop a like here & there to the moots who have liked, commented and reblogged since the start - & every single one of you in between - you all make this place what it is. I'm just the lucky beef who gets to watch it unfold.

I have made connections through this blog with moots I can proudly call my people. From the late night laughing fits over hats that say Ahoy!, the gif spamming, the watch parties, the asks that make even me clutch my pearls, the continual bastardization of SpongeBob memes, Din looking suspiciously like Bill Murray, the dm's just to say hi, meeting new friendos, swapping p-boy pics and everything else I have had the luxury of experiencing with you amazing folks...

Keep being B.P.W.L.P.P.

*Beautiful People Who Love Pedro Pascal

[teagballs]

teagballs masterlist!! | requests currently open

requests post

arrested development

gob bluth:

"desperate"

nsfw alphabet

"take control"

"hands!"

michael bluth:

"take it out on me"

"how can i make it up to you?"

"take them home"

it's always sunny in philadelphia

dennis reynolds:

"calmed"

"like no one else" ("calmed" pt 2)

"sick days"

dee reynolds:

"the gang finds out dee likes girls"

charlie kelly:

"first time"

what we do in the shadows

nandor the relentless:

"love at first sight"

----------------------------♡----------------------------

[doubledyke]

dissociatED ch. 3

edd makes a confession

The contents of an overflowing black grocery bag poured into a pile on Ed’s paint speckled project table. Eddy gave the bag a final shake for good measure before tossing it and a lengthy receipt to the floor. The biggest perk of hanging out at Ed’s after school was that they never had to worry about cleaning up before they left- though that never stopped Edd from doing a cursory trash collection at the end of the night.

“Bon appétit, boys.” The shortest teen pronounced flatly after having first dibs at the avalanching mountain of snacks. He then flopped onto what was left of Ed’s mattress and dug a Game Boy Advance from one of his generous pockets. With a handful of sour gummies crammed into his gob, he listened for the usual jingle as the device powered on.

The lump was next in line to make his selections and went straight to work, stacking bag after crinkling bag of 2 for $1 treats in the crook of his arm. Once satisfied with his haul, he spun around daintily on his big toe, but was halted mid-pirouette by the waifish boy waiting patiently behind him. Edd toppled to the floor with a surprised yelp and flinched as packages slipped from Ed's clutches onto his face.

"Sorry, Double Dee." In one fell swoop, he was returned to his standing position by the herculean strength of Ed's free arm.

“That's quite alright, Ed- ED! What in heaven's name are those?!” he exclaimed, spotting the contraband just as it was unsubtly tucked behind Ed’s back. Lips pursed and arms crossed, he flashed The Look. 

“Really, Ed. Butterscotch disks?” His skinny neck snapped toward the bed to address the one who'd surely been the mastermind. With a voice as artificially sweet as the various treats that littered the floor, he resumed his questioning. “Eddy? Why, pray tell, would you make the purchase of goods containing butterscotch knowing Ed’s allergy to the confectionery?”

After he paused his game, Eddy’s unamused glare traveled slowly from his accuser to his accomplice, then back.

“It was I, Double Dee.” Ed’s noodle head hung shamefully, a jutting bottom lip garnering little sympathy from the room. “The siren of scorched butter beckons me with her syrupy serenade!” A fake sob punctuated his surprising use of syllables. 

“Ed, I only ask that if you’re planning on ingesting potentially injurious indulgences to at least provide some notice! You’re lucky mister, that I, for one, have learned from your history of impulsivity, and keep a topical antihistamine in my bag for times like these. However, there may come a day when I won’t be around to-”

The diatribe was thankfully cut off by the timely roar of a muffler-less Buick Estate approaching the house. Eddy glanced up at Edd who in turn looked at the remaining member of their trio. Ed stared a thousand yards ahead while he tore open a pouch of Pop Rocks and emptied it into his mouth. The teens waited in silence as the wagon steadied to a rumble in the driveway before sputtering out when the engine was cut. A car door was heard creaking open and slamming shut, followed by footsteps that squeaked across the floorboards overhead.

“Welp, dad’s home. May I be excused, Double Dee?” Carbonated sugar crystals exploded off his tongue as he spoke. Edd took a step back and raised a finger, but before he could offer his pardon, the perpetually sticky boy was clambering up the stairs to attend his nightly roundtable reprimand. Ed remained outwardly unaffected for being the person his family used as an emotional punching bag. It was nothing new, and as disturbing as it was to his friends, they’d learned not to harp on it. Still, Edd's chest tightened with guilt for eating into a rare moment of peace with a well-meaning but unnecessary scolding. He managed to stave off a further spiral by vowing to apologize later. 

Before retreating to his usual spot on the old blue chair, he sorted through the mess of snacks on the table. To his pleasant surprise, Eddy had taken the time to locate his special request: unsalted dry roasted edamame. A giddy peek at the bed found two eyes peering back at him over the handheld console until they darted back to the tiny pixelated world on the screen.  

“Thank you, Eddy.” He flashed a weak smile and sat cautiously on the decrepit recliner, wondering if this would be the night it finally collapsed. With his weight fully settled, he breathed a weary sigh of relief then sluggishly rummaged around his satchel for a source of cerebral stimulation. On quite the rebellious streak as of late, his eyes shifted scandalously as he thumbed past his homework folder and opted for a decidedly more recreational selection. He settled as comfortably as he could to begin yet another read through of Finnegans Wake.

By page five he realized he’d just been staring at the blocks of text without processing their deeply ensconced meaning. The exposed plywood digging into the small of his back was only partly to blame for his distraction. Being alone with Eddy these days was rare and resulted in an unavoidable onslaught of complex thoughts and emotions.

Three years feels like an eternity when you’re a kid. But the collective trauma caused by the events of the summer before 8th grade remained evergreen in Edd’s restive brain. Much like everyone else in the neighborhood, he’d been shell-shocked by the revelation of Eddy’s abuse at the hands of the man he misguidedly idolized. The image of his friend, unguarded and gored took months to shake. It was made all the more difficult by his own incessant replaying of the tender moment the two shared immediately after the carnage.

He wondered what Eddy felt when reflecting on the overt display of affection. Did he look back on that moment with the same warmth? Did he look back on it at all?

An eerie quiet loomed over Rethink Avenue after the incident. Since his painfully public humiliation, Eddy left his days of bunco artistry behind and seemed to be exploring his newfound individuality- or so Edd hoped.

Despite their initial outpouring of empathy, the kids struggled to maintain a tolerance for Eddy once it was clear that his riley temperament wasn’t as easily dropped. Ed and Edd didn’t mind of course; they loved Eddy for the firebrand that he always was. The trio was closer than ever, and weren’t particularly bothered by their largely unchanged status as outcasts. Some things had changed, however. It wasn’t long before Edd noticed a disparity in how he viewed his two closest friends. He and Ed were still akin to brothers, offering comfort and protection from their less than ideal home lives.

But "brother" no longer seemed an appropriate label for Eddy; thinking back, he wasn’t positive it had ever been. Eddy often teased that they were “partners in crime”, prompting Edd to roll his eyes in tepid disapproval. Now, with the so-called crime behind them, did that mean they were just... partners?

At first, this shift in perception was easy enough to shrug off as another fleeting infatuation- after all, he still had a bit of a thing for Nazz. But the passage of time did nothing to sway this new sentiment. By now he’d long given up trying to deny the dangerous appeal of Eddy’s casual insubordination, the bizarre charm in his audacity, his inexplicably endearing immaturity. Not to mention how fetched Edd was by his patchy goatee and trendy hoop earring.

Suddenly everything Eddy said or did was under scrutiny for some implicit meaning. Every indiscreet invasion of personal space and cheeky comment was taken as a hint that he might just feel the same about Edd.

Then again, Eddy wasn’t shy by any means, so if he did have similar feelings, surely he would have mentioned it by now… right? Given the boy’s turbulent upbringing, it was reasonable to assume that he was simply too afraid or embarrassed to broach the subject. Plus, the mildest affectionate gesture made his skin crawl- a fact that Edd was painfully aware of.

The concept was completely foreign to him, as years of touch starvation were starting to take its toll. So much so, that he’d recently found himself looking forward to the occasional odiferous bear hug from Ed. Nonetheless, he respected Eddy’s boundaries, ever-changing as they were.

The mixed signals were a tad frustrating, though. One moment he’s utterly unapproachable, the next he’s practically on top of you. Edd could no longer control the way his lip quivered during those moments. The way he'd turn beet red and still be utterly incapable of looking away.

“Take a picture why dontcha? Weirdo.” The croaky voice snapped Edd’s mind back to the crumbling purple walls of the basement where he’d been gawking at Eddy for the entirety of his impromptu reflection. He emitted a few indignant scoffs and squeaks while scanning the immediate area for something else to look at.

“Oh no, I-I wasn’t…W-Well I was just…”

“Relax, Sockhead, I’m just joshin’ ya .” His brow curled in genuine concern at the mortified expression on Edd’s pallid face.

“Oh, of course, a joke. Hehe. Funny.” His eyes grew large just as he shot abruptly from his seat and snatched up the discarded grocery bag from the cement floor. Spread out flat, it was just wide enough to provide a barrier between the rancid mattress and his pristine pants. With a painfully tight grip on his bony knees, he twisted rigidly to face the portly object of his affection. The unexpected proximity had Eddy slowly shrinking into the corner.

“I need to get something off my chest, Eddy, to clear the air, so to speak.”

Eddy perked up slightly. “Seriously, it was just a joke. I don’t think you’re that weird.”

“Never mind that.” Though impertinent, the clarification was some relief to Edd. He continued, “After considerable time spent deliberating, I’ve come to accept that though my selfish unburdening may well bring about unintended consequences, I simply can’t go on ruminating and rehashing hypotheticals. For my own sanity, it’s best I know exactly where I stand- where we stand. You have my word that no matter your reaction to what I have to say, I won’t be upset. I only ask that you take into consideration my sensibilities when forming your sincere response.”

“For chrissake Edd, just spit it out already! You’re makin’ me nervous.” The Game Boy was shut off and tossed aside so he could wipe his sweaty palms on the thighs of his jeans.

“Eddy, I-”

On cue, pounding footsteps barreled down the groaning stairs. Their newly liberated friend burst into the room sporting his trademark slaphappy grin. Eddy’s indignant glare lingered on a jolted Edd, whose attention was drawn elsewhere.

“I am back, you guys! Pass the ointment, Double Dee!” Resilient as always, Ed stomped over to the buffet of junk in search of something salty to accompany his disks of discomfort.

Eddy stood up on the bed briefly before hopping to the floor and yanking the lofty teen to eye level by a handful of his jacket collar.

“Welcome back, big guy. Hey, listen, I just remembered there’s this gargantuan bug in my bathroom and I need Double Dee here to come see if it's poisonous.”

“Oh, why Eddy, if you simply provided a description of this aberrant arthropod, I’m certain I could-” His innocent offer was snuffed by a clammy hand over his mouth. He fought the immature urge to bite one of the fingers. Like it was his fault that Eddy’s on-the-fly excuse was so easily refuted.

“You're in charge of holdin' down the fort till we get back, got it?”

“Roger Wilco, Eddy!” A ground shaking stomp and stiff salute served to drive his unclear point home.

“At ease, Lump.” He landed a few affectionate wallops on Ed’s bicep, then shot a look at the quasi-entomologist. “Let’s get this over with.”

The old table buckled when Eddy leapt onto the corner to gain access to the window and shimmied through the ever tightening port to the backyard. 

“Double Dee?”

Edd stopped on Eddy’s trail to answer, “Yes, Ed?”

“If Eddy’s bug needs a place to stay, there is plenty of room in my humble commode.”

“How… considerate of you, Ed. I’ll inform, um, it of your very generous offer.” He turned to leave but was quickly sidetracked again.

“Oh, Ed!” He looked up with doe eyes and placed a gentle hand on the boy’s sinewy forearm. “I’d like to apologize for chastising you earlier. It’s not my place to dictate the decisions you make regarding your health. Though, it’s probably best to provide you with your own tube of diphenhydramine cream. Just in case.” An affiliative smile spanned his face for the few seconds he waited for a response.

“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cured meat. And I am quite partial to bologna.”

“Yes, well. I’d best be on my way if I hope to avoid an ear-splitting admonishment of my own.”

The ginger haired giant gaped, eyebrow cocked, as the boy’s spindly arms struggled to lift the weight of his equally scrawny lower half out of the basement. After spending several seconds watching his friend’s kicking legs and pained grunts, he lurched to the window and nudged Edd’s rear with just enough force to send him stumbling into the patchy footpath outside. Once somewhat stabilized on his disproportionately small feet, he hollered his appreciation.

“Thank you, Ed! Back in a jiff!”

Standing coolly at the end of the front yard, Eddy wasted no time pulling out a metal case and matching Zippo from another of his many pockets. His thumb stroked the crudely buffed out initials of the case’s previous owner as he popped it open. He pinched a slightly stale menthol cigarette between his lips and used his left hand to block the breeze, his right to light. That first fiending drag of nicotine always left him woozy. Using a light post to steady himself, he watched through heavy lidded eyes as Edd flounced into view.

The out of shape boy’s dramatic heaving stopped as soon as he whiffed the acrid aroma of tobacco.

“Eddy, I’d prefer you didn’t do that upwind of me.” He swallowed hard and watched the cherry glow red as Eddy inhaled another puff, a characteristically devious grin forming around the carcinogenic tube.

“You’re the one standin’ so damn close! C’mon, I ain't out here for my health.” 

With that, the pair started down the sidewalk to Eddy’s home. Their shared lack of spatial awareness resulted in the frequent bumping of shoulders, elbows and hands as they shuffled along in silence. A gust of autumn wind on top of the awkward physical contact prompted Eddy to lip his cigarette and shove his hands in his jacket pockets.

The whimsy of marcescent leaves rustling in the nipping breeze had Edd recalling the many idyllic scenarios wherein he finally makes his long awaited confession. Planning was the one constant throughout all of his fantasies; scheduling a time that was convenient for them both, meeting at an undisclosed- and tastefully atmospheric -location, and reading from a deliberately worded billet-doux.

Instead, the rosy imagery was choked out by another miasma from Eddy’s mouth. He grimaced, watching the discarded cigarette land in a growing pile below the back window. His attention was then quickly drawn back to his prospective flame who, in a heartening display of etiquette, had stepped back and was motioning him through the bedroom’s exterior door as it whirred open with an inviting gush of warm air. It wasn’t the moss covered stone pergola hidden away in the vast secret garden of his daydreams. But the clean, well-decorated interior of the bedroom was an improvement.

Edd lingered by the door, looking on while his wheezing friend slunk off to the bathroom. 

“Go on then,” The husky boy was heard a few minutes later, garbling through the foam of toothpaste in his mouth. “I’m listening.”

Edd bit his lip and took a few reluctant steps toward the middle of the room. The sound of medium bristles scrubbing properly aligned teeth echoed off the tile floor of the bathroom. He cleared his throat loudly and adjusted his hat. Feeling a bit dispirited by Eddy’s seeming indifference, he struggled to maintain focus on the task at hand.

You’ve come this far, Eddward. Turning back is no longer an option. Besides, you’ll feel better once you’ve disencumbered yourself. Go forward!

“Hello? Earth to Double Dee?” The voice was now outside the bathroom. Eddy flicked the light off on his way out, slung a retro patterned hand towel used to dab his mouth over his shoulder and zipped to his vanity. There he refreshed his CK One.

The corners of Edd’s mouth tightened. Choosing the right words from the hundreds that bounced around his brain at any given second was more challenging than expected. The wrong one could lead to a critical misunderstanding, which might cause irreparable damage to their already at-risk relationship.

Eddy managed to pry his eyes from his reflection long enough to turn around and face Edd who looked to be fighting a losing internal battle. Nothing new there.

“Forgive me. You’ll understand if I’m a bit nervous.” He faked a chuckle. A second clearing of his throat expelled the first words that came to mind.

“I’m quite fond of you, Eddy.” Dilated pupils darted to the furthest corners of his bugged out eyes. The stocky body in his periphery didn’t move.

A bit lackluster, but a good start. Elaborate.  

“To put it more plainly, my indelible admiration for you has taken on a romantic hue… Hours of introspection, countless thought experiments and an economy-size box of facial tissue have all led me to this conclusion.”

His stiff neck ratcheted slightly to the right, followed by the rest of his body as he dared to close much of the space between them.

“I’ve grappled with the possibility that said feelings may be unrequited. And in the event that you do share my sentiment, less than two percent of adolescent affairs last beyond high school...”

Emboldened by adrenaline, he froze where he stood, now only a couple feet away and placed a heavy hand on Eddy’s broadened shoulder.

“That said, I’m truly hoping that for once, the odds are in my favor.”

Edd's gimlet eye and uncharacteristically forceful grip had Eddy weighing his options for an escape; if he was quick, he could slip out from Edd’s grasp and leg it back to Ed’s. No way he'd want to keep talking about this in front of Ed. Or, he could fake the sudden onset of some obscure disease- a surprisingly reliable option.

His eyes narrowed as he debated, fixed on the wisps of thin, dark hair resting against Edd’s cricked neck.

“Eddy?” The voice was so low it prompted Eddy to look around for the source.

“Why’s everyone think I’m gay, Double Dee?” There was a genuine curiosity to his question, though he dreaded every possible answer.

Edd withdrew his hand and used it to anxiously massage his bony chest. His lack of facial expression was typically an indication that he was on the verge of collapse. Eddy tried to be subtle in taking a small step back.

Now, look what you’ve done. Why would you touch him? And with unwashed hands, no less!

Feigning maturity was beyond tiresome. Edd wanted to throw himself on the ground, kicking and screaming until he got his way. He’d half a mind to inform Eddy exactly why everyone was so quick to make judgements regarding his sexuality. Figuring he’d already put enough strain on their friendship for one night, he instead played dumb. 

“Um… Far be it from me to dissect the complexities of your identity, Eddy. It seems, based on your reaction, that even my perception was skewed after years of friendship.” The adenoidal quality of his voice returned once his throat was cleared a third time. His hand instinctively pressed against his burning cheek, then tugged at the zipper of his quarter zip sweater.

Eddy’s short rearward steps continued until he collided noisily into his rickety dressing table. After confirming nothing had broken, he contested.

“So a guy bathes regularly and knows how to put together an outfit. That makes him a f-” Noting Edd’s disapproving squint, he quickly found another word. “...Fruit?” 

If the context weren’t so gut-wrenching, Edd would have laughed out loud at the boy’s callow reasoning. 

Oh, Eddy. My obstinately oblivious abettor. 

Behind the beads of perspiration on Eddy’s scrunched forehead a war raged on; a conflict between conscious and unconscious mind. To think, someone whose last name wasn’t Kanker was interested in him. And it was Double Dee of all people- the finicky genius, wise to the many skeletons in Eddy’s overloaded closet. The guy who even seemed to have the dames figured out wanted him. It was doing wonders for his recently shoddy self-worth. And he could’ve easily been carried away on that cloud had it not been for the anchor of doubt, despair, and disgust keeping him firmly on the ground. It was true, he knew Eddy like one of those tomes he read for fun. So if Edd thought he was bent… That meant he’d better keep growing out the goatee.

“Eddy, my personal interests aside, I feel I must reiterate: There is nothing nefarious about same sex attraction. It is entirely amoral, despite hegemonic messaging to the contrary.” He paused, remembering that morality wasn’t exactly topping Eddy’s list of priorities. He tried a different angle.

“Gay and bisexual men aren’t inherently less masculine than their heterosexual counterparts. Sexual orientation has no bearing on how someone may choose to express their gender identity.”

The blank look on Eddy’s face was proof enough that he remained unmoved by the attempted appeal to logic. He pinched the bridge of his nose and tapped his foot impatiently.

“Eddy, are you going to listen to me or your father, who can only be distinguished from archaic man by his ability to cajole elderly widows into the peeling leather interior of dubiously discounted daily drivers?”

The fist-clenching frustration that prompted his outburst dissipated quickly, replaced by pity when he met eyes with the confused young man before him.

Still at a loss, Eddy knew his friend was right. But as far as he was concerned, to admit that was tantamount to coming out.

“I’m sorry, Dee. It’s nothin’ personal, really. I just don’t swing that way."

[crawlingbetweenearthandheaven]

Who are some characters you headcanon as bipolar? Will you ever write for them? I really like your bipolar writing

kendall roy, sucession

sirius black, no fandom at all he just sprang into life

gob bluth, arrested development

recently have been identifying Themes in dee reynolds, always sunny

hamlet

fleabag? but not sure if more borderline. not an expert in that

crowley, good omens

gary king from the world's end

sherlock holmes from the books

[norashelley]

Not a wave in sight - but Frances Dee and Wynne Gibson are being very nautical! Both wear the white gob trousers that are so popular this summer. Each with a different idea about the top part of her costume however. Frances chooses a short-sleeved, striped sweater like that of a Basque fisherman. Wynne gets striking color contrast by bright colored lacings on her white shirt.

[mallratsys]

"Gob is like Dennis." "Gob is like Mac." you fucking idiots. Gob is like Dee.

[roadkill-frankenstein]

Pokemon Victorious Sword and Triumphant Shield

Chapter 5 - How it all Began

Full Story Here!

~

"Arceus, Harley, when- when did you get so fast?!" Ace gasped for breath as they stumbled to a halt, resting their hands on their knees.

"I didn't get faster, you're just slow because you've got that big coat on." Harley teased, one hand on their hip as they gestured to the large fur-lined coat Ace wore like a cloak around their shoulders. "Or are you just slowing down in your old age, eh?"

"Oi! Shut your gob, I'm only 25!" Ace swatted them lightly across the back of the head, earning a laugh in response. "Come on, we shouldn't leave your friends waiting any longer, should we?"

"Yeah. Need a hand up the stairs?" Harley grinned cockily, running up the stairs to Hammerlocke with an offended Ace on their tail.

Harley had been to Hammerlocke more times then they could count, but the city never failed to amaze them. The gigantic stadium with architecture like wings scraping across the sky was awe-inspiring. Maybe if they got lucky, they'd get to meet Raihan.

"Look who finally decided to show up, hmm?" A lilting voice called from nearby, and Harley spotted his friends standing by the door to the Pokemon center. Lydia and Owen, both enjoying pastries they'd probably bought from the Cafe nearby.

Lydia was a tall, slender girl, a year or two older than both Owen and Harley. She had brown hair with a streak of bright green running through it, tied in a ponytail. Her Farfetch'd was seated comfortably on her shoulder, munching on a berry he'd been given. She'd had him for years now, but Onion (as she named him) still hadn't evolved. Perhaps he just didn't want to.

Owen was about the same height as Harley, give or take an inch. He was gentler than he looked, though his rather piercing gaze made him a little more intimidating than his personality was. He had a Kantonian Meowth perched on his head, wearing a cozy little vest warning people not to pet him because he was a service Pokemon. Mao certainly looked tough, with claws and fangs, but he had never hurt a soul in his life.

"I hope I didn't keep you guys waiting too long." Harley chuckled guiltily as they jogged up to their friends.

"You didn't," Owen assured him with a grin. "But you left us thinking you were going to be late to your own birthday celebration, mate."

"We were so close to just opening your gifts ourselves." Lydia laughed, moving Onion off one shoulder and onto the other. "Happy birthday, by the way."

"Ha, thanks, Dee. You guys didn't need to get presents for me!" Harley started, but was quickly interrupted by Ace setting a hand on their shoulder.

One of the reasons that Harley, Lydia and Owen had clicked so well was the fact that the two didn't lose their minds over seeing Ace or finding out that they were related. Everybody else they'd met had immediately jumped onto the idea of being able to meet the champion, not being their friend. Harley was eternally grateful for that fact.

"Shush, Harley. Let your friends be your friends, yeah?" Ace patted their back. "I'm going to go run by the stadium and check up on everything. Try not to cause too much chaos, yeah?"

"No promises." Harley replied with a shrug, and Ace rolled their eyes before leaving.

"So, did you get your first Pokemon?" Owen asked, leaning forward so much Mao almost toppled off his head. It was almost as if Pippa was summoned, because she emerged from Harley's bag with a wide yawn.

"Ooh my goodness!" Lydia gasped, clapping excitedly. "Finally! I was wondering when you were going to get one!"

"The Professor let me take her." Harley grinned, giving Pippa a pat on the head. "Her name's Pippa, she's a Slowpoke."

"I forget there are Galarian Slowpoke sometimes," Owen admitted. "I'm so used to the Kantonian ones back home."

"I've never seen a Kantonian Slowpoke before. What do they look like?" Harley's eyes lit up, but Lydia cleared her throat.

"We can continue our deep slowpoke discussions later. For now, birthday time!" She pulled a box out of seemingly thin air, holding it out to him with a grin.

"Oh, Arceus, guys-" Harley started, but Lydia shushed him.

"Just take the present, Harley."

"Alright, alright, you win." Harley took the box, prying the lid off and looking inside. Inside was a comically sized Wooloo cushion, with plush white wool and a neatly-sewn face. It was almost a perfect replica. "Ohhh my- Oh! OH!"

Owen laughed as Harley positively beamed, giving the cushion a test squish. It was absolutely perfect.

"We both chipped in to get it, since we know you love these sorts of things." He explained, scooping Mao off his head and cradling the Meowth in his arms. "Mao got it off the high shelf for us."

"Mmrow!" Mao confirmed cheerfully, golden coin glittering in the sunlight.

"Thanks, you guys! You're the best!" Harley laughed gleefully as he stuffed the cushion back into the box, tucking it under his arm. "What're our plans for today?"

"Up to you." Lydia set a hand on her hip. "What about we go to the battle cafe? Maybe you can give Pippa some practice in battle!"

"Ooh, that sounds cool!" Harley grinned, glancing at the slowpoke. "You want to kick butt?"

"Po-poooke." Pippa affirmed with her best dopey smile. The group of kids went down the street to the cafe, naive to the future that lurked ahead.

Ace was standing in the middle of the empty field, pacing back and forth along the lines as Raihan spoke to them. The great tamer of dragons had kept his place even all these years later, though he'd discarded his old hoodie years prior after a particularly nasty sandstorm tore it apart. He had simply resorted to tearing the sleeves off his gym uniform, wearing the tattered remains of his jacket around his hips.

"So, what you're telling me is all sorts of Pokemon are just - turning up? Raiding the city?" Ace rubbed their chin. "How come I haven't heard about this?"

"The first real situation happened yesterday." Raihan explained, crossing his arms. "Right after those tremors, remember those? A whole flock of Corviknight from the taxis went nuts, started attacking their cabbies out of nowhere."

"Was anyone hurt?"

"Not badly, no. A few are scratched up, but the others managed to chase off the things 'til I got there. The Corviknight seemed fine after a quick trip to the Pokemon center, like they hadn't just gone absolutely mad."

Both were quiet for a moment, Raihan the first to break the uncomfortable silence.

"Doesn't this remind you of anything, champ?"

"Yeah, when the old chairman tried to bring the Darkest Day about. But it couldn't be that again, could it? Leon's running Macro Cosmo now, and he knows better than anyone else how stupid of an idea that is." Ace scoffed. "I'll go chat up some of the other gym leaders, see if they've had similar experiences… make sure you keep an eye out, call me if something else happens."

"Aye aye." Raihan saluted with a mocking grin, giving Ace a thump on the back. "Remember you owe me a rematch."

"How could I forget?" Ace rolled their eyes in response, prodding Raihan's side. "Alright, I've got to go."

"See ya," Raihan waved, and the two went their separate ways. Ace's mind was abuzz with thoughts, theories, any thread they could grasp and hold on to.

What was happening to Galar?

[adamsdice]

Requests! [ CURRENTLY CLOSED send in via the ASK BOX when open!]

First and foremost, I will NOT write

Smut/ Sexual Content

Non-con / Dubcon

Kink-based stuff

Incest

Adult x Minor relationships

Anything that makes me personally uncomfortable

I also reserve the right to decline requests when I see it fit.

So with that out of the way, feel free to send in :-

Unprompted requests

Requests based on things I reblog

Requests of any format ( Word prompts, " Person A, Person B and Person C do [thing]", Quote, song/poem-based . . . and so on and so forth )

Very specific scenarios/ dynamics

I'm most likely to write about:

Iasip

BBC's Merlin

Will & Grace

Community

Arrested Development

M*A*S*H

Friends

Mythic Quest

My favorite pairings ( be it platonic, romantic, familial or otherwise ) are under the cut

*The ones marked an all-caps trope can only be within bounds of said trope. ( aka it ain't gonna be romantic folks )

Jeff Winger / Dean Pelton

TroBed

Margaret Houlihan / Trapper John McIntyre

PiercIntyre

CharDen

CharMac

CharMacDen

Charlie Kelly / The Lawyer ( Especially as "rivals" )

DeeTress

DeeArtemis

PLATONIC Dee Reynolds & Mac McDonald

Blunder

Maebe interacting with literally any other member of the bluth family ( OBVIOUSLY FAMILIAL)

Michael & Gob being brothers ( AGAIN, FAMILIAL/ BROTHERLY )

Gob Bluth & Tobias Funke ( Preferably platonic )

Michael Bluth & Tobias Funke ( Preferably platonic with the show-typical innuendos because they crack me up. )

MerWaine

MerCelot

MerWaineCelot

GwainCelot

Gwencelot ( Preferably Queer-Platonic )

Mergana ( preferably platonic )

PLATONIC/ BROTHERLY Mordred & Merlin

PLATONIC Will Truman & Karen Walker

PLATONIC Jack McFarland & Karen Walker

Will Truman & Jack McFarland ( Preferably Platonic/ Queer-platonic but I'm open to other stuff )

Will Truman / McCoy Whitman

Chanoey

Rachel Green / Phoebe Buffet

Rachel Green / Monica Geller

Brad Bakshi / David Brittlesbee

But please feel free to ask for any other pairings, characters or dynamics ( could even be more than 2/3 per fic i LOVE MANAGING GROUP INTERACTIONS ), so long as you see me post about their show on here ( can't write what idk about ! ). Just make sure I'm open for requests at the time!

[bookgeekgrrl]

My media this week (18-Jul-21)

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

If I Could Turn Back Time: Cher's Greatest Hits [Cher]

Cher (top songs)

‘80s Dance Hits

Paula Abdul (all songs)

‘90s Dance Hits

Hail Satin! [Dee Gees]

The Chicks (all songs)

Obsessed: Peter Gabriel [Lena Hall]

Wake Up and Pickitup

Irish Rock Classics

Lena Hall's Obsessions – all the Lena Hall covers I like

The World of The Clash

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

Dark Ages - 4. A Bitter Cup of Jo (aka The Arfabarkus Wrex)

Dark Ages - 5. D-Day (aka The War Memorial)

Dark Ages - 6. It’s a Hard Nick Life (aka The Night Janitor)

Big Gay Fiction Podcast - Bookseller, Disgraced Aristocrat & An Emotional Support Knife with Author KJ Charles

Dark Ages - Goblin Special: Take This Gob and Shove It

Dark Ages - 7. Marwood Goes Home (aka The Simple Stone Tablet)

Dark Ages - 8. Sweeps Week (aka The Inspection)

Richmond Til We Die: A Ted Lasso Podcast - Season 1 Wrap-Up & What's Next

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Josephine Baker’s Chateau

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Oh The Places We Could Go!

99% Invisible #451- Hanko

Dark Ages - 10. The Lesson Plan (aka The Tome)

Dark Ages - 9. Fired Up (aka The Afterburner)

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Kilwa Kisiwani

Word of Mouth - The Art of Inventing Languages (with David J. Peterson)

Dark Ages - 11. Dark Comes to Light (aka The Timbered Tablets)

Overinvested, Ep. 221 - Marvel's Loki

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Beale Treasure

Dark Ages - 12. The End of All Things (aka The Heart of the Museum)

Dark Ages - BONUS: Season 1 Blooper Reel

I Think About Art - 4. Last Conversation Piece

This is Good for You, Ep 12 - Resin Work Is Good for You (with TK Dutes)

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

Miss Fisher's Modern Murder Mysteries - s2, e3-e8

Legends Of Tomorrow - s1, e6-10

The Repair Shop - s3, e6

Ted Lasso - s2, e1

Murdoch Mysteries - s13, e17-18; s14, e1

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

😍 Network Effect (The Murderbot Diaries #5) (Martha Wells )

🙂 The Second Labor (AidaRonan) - 57K, alt-history/canon-divergent, part epistolary - really interesting in the canon divergence since it makes Bucky the Winter Soldier much, much earlier and keeps a pre-serum Steve.

🙂 Unsolicited Advice (Saddaughter16, art by DeamonSlayer576) - 50K, shrunkyclunks a/b/o

😍 Some Kind of Freaky Friday Shit (rainbow_nerds, art by jehans) - 40K, shrunkyclunks - exactly what it says on the tin, and absolutely delightful

plus 155K of shorter fic so shorter work shout out

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

...and this compromise series (luninosity) - X-Men, 75K over 10 parts - an older (2015) but really excellent canon divergent series where Charles & Erik navigate developing a D/s relationship while still doing what they do

AND ALSO THESE ESSAYS/ARTICLES I REALLY LIKED

Unvaccinated Is Different From Anti-Vax (Ed Yong, The Atlantic)

[senor-plume]

Tumbling Along

she is a rolling and tumbling peachy scented tumbleweed

I crack my windows to hunt down her scent

she skips (like lightening) down my street like a lonely ball of hurt

with my nose keen and my eyes peeled I sit hand to face in the window waiting for her to do her famous ...zip a dee doo dah...

then, dust

fruit flavored dryness chappen my lips... they crack and bleed and it hurts to yell out to her

(not that she'd hear me as she is already 5 blocks removed from my home)

I rise from the table and stub a smoke in the tray

one more night with me:

waiting.

her consecutive passing byes are well into the hundreds

but I will be there again when the moon smiles (...smirks really) and fills my head with the words:

Maybe Tomorrow

I have hung everything on those two tempting words

and I believe she will stop rolling some night

look up to me at my window and simply say:

Hey, wanna kiss?

and then the gobs of days that I have put in will all be worth it

no doubt about it

[woman-respecter]

In my opinion Gob is a combo of the whole sunny gang bc he is also chaotic and a lil dumb like Charlie and not valued by his fam like Dee

yeah thats v true...altho i think his devaluation by his fam is much more warranted than that of dee lol

[larrydavidbyrne]

hiiiii what are your top five episodes of iasip and also what are your top five fictional characters just like in general. ALSO what is ur favorite color. Okay bye

HIII JULIA❤️ ok top 5 iasip eps in no real order:

the gang tends bar, mac and dennis break up, the gang gets trapped, frank sets sweet dee on fire, and reynolds vs reynolds: the cereal defense

top 5 fictional characters also in no particular order:

george costanza (obviously), kendall roy, gob bluth, abed nadir, and diane nguyen

my fav color is green!!💚💚

[slasherbeachbitch]

Road Trip

The sweltering heat that purveyed your room was not diminished by your piddly electric fan that shook and stuttered occasionally. It was the last day of the semester and you were spending some time by yourself in your room, while your roommate was planning a "surprise" for you.

As much as you loved Deliah, you were not excited as she was for her surprises. Most of which were half thought out, hair-brained schemes, that would eventually get the two of you in trouble one day. Though by now you should be fine with that and fully expect this type of stuff. You'd known each other for years.

From middle school to the present day, you two were together through thick and thin, her parents practically adopting you after some family troubles that were going on in your life. Yes, you two were as thick as thieves. That didn't mean you wanted to go to jail like one though.

Okay, so maybe you were being a little dramatic, but the last great idea that she convinced you to join her on landed you two behind a Krispy Kreme dumpster watching a drug deal happen. You will never help her try to adopt a dog EVER again.

A shuffle and a burst of movement from your door as it was busted down caught your attention instead of the boring hotdog with sunglasses statue that was being oversold on the shopping channel, and to Deliah. Her glasses were skewed over the bridge of her nose, almost about to fall on the floor if she wasn't careful, and dragging behind her a chart.

Ooh boy, this was going to be wild.

She wiped off her dark brow and let out a breath before clapping her hands and saying, "Now you're probably wondering why I've brought you all here today..."

"Dee, I'm literally the only one here, and this is my room." You sighed out and preemptively held your head in your hands. You were gonna need an aspirin after this, you could just feel it.

"Ahem, I am trying to give my presentation here a dramatic flair." She frowned and pushed her glasses onto her nose once more, straightening into a professional posture. She was really trying to sell you on this one. You sighed once more and waited patiently for her to begin.

"Now," She began after a fake cough, "You and I have both wanted to go on a road trip for years, right?"

You nodded.

"And we both love weird shit, right?"

"Where are you going with this?"

She shushed you and then continued, "Well strap your ass into an astronaut chair and let me take you on the weirdest, wildest fucking ride you'll ever experience. Starting all the way here in our great state of Louisianna and ending in Oregon by the end of it!"

You nodded once again, "Alright you got me, I'm interested."

With that, she explained in great depth your "Wacky College Weirdness Trip".(You guys are working on the name because that is not good.)

Now granted, it was still a bad idea, I mean who knows what could happen to the two of you, and yet the thought of going to all of the strangest places in America was just too good to pass up. You always jumped at an opportunity to experience something new. Without your overeagerness for change and excitement, you wouldn't be where you were now.

A long night of packing, pizza, and a restless slumber lead to a groggy heated morning. The sun was already almost in the middle of the sky when you finally left, tiny clouds lazily scuttling along as you two sped along the highway. At around three, you guys stopped for lunch at a small vintage looking diner where you discussed the first place you were heading to.

You snagged some pancakes and a small cup of orange juice, while Dee just got a plain old cup of coffee. Your waitress came by and soon both of you were sipping on your respective drinks.

"So we're going to Wilmington? What kind of name is that?" Your fingers traced the map and tapped on the little dot with the odd name and a red circle traced around it.

Dee shrugged, "Beats me, all I know is that it's supposed to be some haunted town."

You frowned and your plate was set down before you before a rather haughty voice spoke up. "Ugh, Wilmington? That place is a total rip-off."

Looking up, your waitress seemed to be a short Latina girl in her late teens, makeup looking expertly done and plush red lips holding a slightly amused smirk on them. Her very old looking wrinkled yellow and white checkered uniform had a scratched nametag reading Eva on her breast.

"If you really want to check out a ghost-town, I know a much better place."

Deliah quirked her eyebrow curiously like the back of a threatened cat. "Really? Pray, tell what it is?"

Oh god, she was using her weird Shakespeare language. Curse her and her English classes.

"Oh, it's a forgotten town little ways down the highway. Turn left at the big sign saying, Southerland and keep going. You'll get there eventually."

"How will we know?" You chirped up.

"From what I remember there's a little sign that says something about a wax museum. I went there when I was really young, creepy place."

A ding came from a small window that connected the kitchen to the front, right behind a counter with all sorts of different drinks and condiments. A burly man with graying hair popped his head out, "Eva, back to work."

Eva sighed before saying, "Back to work I guess. Well, enjoy your meal."

When she walked away, the two of you looked at each, clearly, you both were thinking the same thing.

"We should totally go!" Deliah practically squealed in excitement.

"We should totally not go!" You shot at the same time.

Well, shit.

"What do you mean we should not go? This is a great idea. Plus I've never been to a wax museum, you have." She held an indignant scowl on her face, hair hanging in strands in front of her face.

"Yeah, and it wasn't that fun. I just don't get a good feeling from this." You sternly held your stance, a little peeved while you shoved your flapjacks into your gob.

"But please can we go? For like five minutes and then we can leave and never come back." She looked at you with the biggest puppy-dog eyes she could muster, putting on her best performance. You looked at her for a good, long minute before giving in.

"Fine, five minutes and that's it."

She pumped her fist in the air and chugged her coffee, badgering you to finish your food fast. When you were done you left a five-dollar tip and hopped into your ride.

A gnawing feeling was making your gut tumble around in your body, you really didn't trust this.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Christmas Special Villains

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Much like I did for Halloween, I wanted to do a bunch of one-shot or at the very least minor Christmas villains, which presented me with an interesting problem – most Christmas specials don’t really have villains. Usually the main obstacle to overcome in any holiday special is some sort of emotional fault of the main character, a lack of belief in the spirit of the holiday, or something to that effect, and when there is an actual villain, it tends to just be ones from the show at large with a Christmas-related scheme. Like I’m not doing Princess Morbucks or the Kanker sisters for this.

Luckily, There were a few I was sure on, and I managed to scrounge up a few more to deliver five lovingly-wrapped holiday villains. We have:

Mrs. Claus from The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy

Ghost Writer from Danny Phantom

Robot Santa from Futurama

Edna Jucation and the Faculty Four from Codename: Kids Next Door

The Woodland Critters from South Park

Here’s the most interesting thing: Despite Christmas stories tending to lean more towards internal conflict and self-reflection, when they do have actual, tangible threats like these, they tend to be honestly and genuinely great. This is in stark contrast to A lot of the villains from the Halloween specials, who tended to just be big scary baddies without much oomph to them.

Actor: Mrs. Claus is portrayed by Carol Kane, an incredibly prolific actress who you may know best as Valerie, the wife of Miracle Max from The Princess Bride. And much like in that film, she manages to be as enjoyable and funny as the guy playing her husband, which is a tall order indeed – in that film it was Billy Crystal, and in the special it’s Gilbert Gottfried.

Ghost Writer is portrayed by Will Arnett of all people. This was post-Gob Bluth but pre-Batman and BoJack, so while not unknown by any stretch it’s definitely weird to go back and see him in a Butch Hartman action cartoon of all places. He does a great job, as to be expected; when has he ever done poorly?

In his first appearance, Robot Santa was voiced by none other than John Goodman. Normally I’d say Goodman would be perfect for the role of Santa, but… this one’s a maniacal robotic serial killer. It’s a wonderfully jarring juxtaposition. After that, John DiMaggio gave Robot Santa a voice for his other appearances, and he does a good job for sure. Obviously he’s no John Goodman, but really, who is?

Edna Jucation is voiced by Candi Milo, and the Faculty Four are played by Dee Bradley Baker and Darran Norris; Baker is the Unintelligible Tutor and Thesaurus Rex, while Norris is Mr. Physically Fitastic and the Human Text. These are all top-tier veteran voice actors, and they do a fine job, but I can’t particularly say they really make any of these characters stand out or be memorable, which is a shame.

As to be expected, the Woodland Critters are voiced by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Big shock there. Even less shocking is that they are perfectly funny as these depraved animals.

Motivation/Goals: Out of all of these, I think it’s really fitting that Mrs. Claus is the one with the best motivation. As the HEAD head vampire in the North Pole, she has turned Santa into a vampire and put a halt on Christmas because she is overworked and exhausted, having to do all the household chores all year while Santa only works one night. It is absolutely, perfectly understandable that she snapped… but apparently this isn’t even the first time, as Santa mentions at the end this has happened on multiple prior occasions. You think he’d treat her better after the second or third time, but then we wouldn’t have a plot.

I’d say that Ghost Writer and the Woodland Critters are tied for the next spot; both of them have solid reasons for doing what they’re doing. Ghost Writer was just a humble author trying to finish a Christmas story in time for Christmas, but unfortunately this caught the eye of the extremely Scroogey Danny Phantom, who absolutely hates Christmas due to traumatic events caused by his family fighting on Christmas in the past. Danny, in a moment of incredible callousness, blasts the poor ghost’s manuscript to bits and then proceeds to rub it in, which drives GW to breaking the annual truce and using his powers to torment Danny by trapping him in a Christmas story where he and everyone else can only speak in rhyme. It’s honestly hard to feel sympathy for Danny here, but GW does take it a bit too far.

The Woodland Critters, on the other hand, are just utterly depraved… but that’s to be expected seeing as they are the creations of Eric Cartman, inhabiting a Christmas story whose sole reason for existing is to make Kyle look like a tool. In the story, they get Kyle knocked up with the Antichrist. You see, there master is Satan, and they want nothing more than for his spawn to be born into the world. They really just exist as a reason for Cartman to rip on Kyle for being a Jew at Christmastime, as Kyle himself points out in their debut episode.

Edna and the Faculty Four are a bit simple and amusing, as is befitting of a gimmicky villain from The world of the KND. They team up with the Delightful Children because Substitute Teacher’s Day is virtually unknown compared to Christmas, the kind of absurd, wacky reason for villainy you’d expect from a world where some of the most feared supervillains include an evil dentist and a vampire who spanks people. Robot Santa is likewise extremely simple, yet effective: every Christmas he flies down to Earth to punish the naughty – which is everyone except Zoidberg. This is due to a programming oversight that left his standards set way too high, so no one can ever measure up. Except Zoidberg. There’s really not much more to him than that, but really, does their need to be?

Final Fate: Mrs. Claus is redeemed at the end of the special thanks to Billy, who helps her understand the true meaning of Christmas and who heals her husband so that he can apologize. Things seem like they might work out for real this time because now Malcolm McDowell’s vampire is around to help with tidying up, so hooray! Happy ending here!

Ghost Writer gets thwarted because Danny picks up an orange; as Ghost Writer never watched Drake & Josh and thus didn’t realize that “door hinge” is an acceptable rhyme, he was unable to continue writing his story and got beat up by Danny and his rogues gallery and then thrown into Walker’s prison for breaking the yearly truce in the Ghost Zone. At least he got to complete his book?

The Woodland Critters go out when Santa comes in and blasts them away with a shotgun… but since they are technically fictional characters, they show up in Imaginationland to cause problems. Still, it’s reassuring to know they can be taken out with simple firearms.

Edna Jucation, the Faculty Four, and Robot Santa really don’t have any canonical final fate; they just get defeated and then go on their merry way. In Robot Santa’s case, he actually showed up quite a few more times after his initial appearance to wreak havoc, but the Faculty Four and Edna were entirely oneshot antagonists.

Final Thoughts & Score: Christmas honestly fares a lot better than Halloween does as far as I can see. The villains tend to be a lot more thematic, or at the very least they have more personality and thematic function. Halloween doesn’t really have any sort of core themes to work off of as opposed to Christmas, which has a lot of reoccurring themes in works based around it. Still, most of these characters just settle on being funny.

Mrs. Claus and the Woodland Critters are the best of the bunch here, and both earn themselves a spot on the Nice List with a 9/10 each. Mrs. Claus is just a lot of fun, mostly because of the fact she has legitimate grievances on top of being a unique twist on the character. Mrs. Claus as a vampire overlord who commands hordes of vampire elves? That’s the sort of creative wackiness that Billy & Mandy delivered on. The Woodland Critters are just funny, plain and simple, acting as the sort of amusing subversion that could be expected of from South Park in its glory days as well as being totally in line with Cartman’s personality. These are the exact sort of original characters I’d expect from a guy who ground up a kid’s parents and made them into chili, what with their blood orgies and ultraviolence. Amusingly enough, they score a point higher than Cartman did in his own Psycho Analysis, which is mostly due to their limited appearances meaning that they stay remarkably consistent, where Cartman tends to be whatever an episode needs to be, be that hero, anti-hero, or villain.

Next up are Ghost Writer and Robot Santa, who both get 7/10. Ghost Writer is a very amusing oneshot, but it’s honestly weird that out of all the Villains from Danny Phantom, he’s the first one I talked about. You’d think it would be Ember or Vlad or something… at any rate, he’s an amusing antagonist, but he’s also one who it’s hard not to view as being in the right, especially since Danny was just a jerk to him completely unprovoked due to his own personal hangups with the holidays. As usual with fun ideas on the show though he was only ever used once, which is a real shame but at the same time understandable; his gimmick really only works with Christmas, so it would have been weird shoehorning him into another episode’s plot. For what he is, he’s fun.

Robot Santa has a similar problem, not really being able to function outside of Christmas specials, but his few appearances leave him as an amusing antagonist who never really overstays his welcome. He’s not as entertaining or engaging as, say, Mom, but he definitely offers some laughs with his hilarious concept and his ridiculous levels of bloodlust. Points t him for helping out the heroes in the first Futurama movie too.

That just leaves us with Edna and the Faculty Four, and the Faculty Four just manage to scrape onto the bottom of the Nice List with a collective 5/10. They don’t really have much character or personality, especially when compared to the heroic Marvel pastiche that is Elfa Strike, but as brief amusing gag villains meant to pay loving tribute to the Fantastic Four, I think they’re decent. Edna is not so lucky; she’s a bit obnoxious, shrill, and doesn’t really correlate to any sort of Marvel character, which is baffling since the entire episode is one big love letter to Marvel comics. Sad to say, but she’s landing smack dab on the Naughty List with a 2/10. She doesn’t even have a cool gimmick!

I suppose that wraps it up for Christmas special villains. Doing something like this is tough, because it really makes you sit back and wonder what sort of Christmas villains you should put on. Obviously I avoided any theatrical film villains, but that did leave one particularly glaring omission of a villain from a holiday special… a big, green, unpleasant omission. He’s a mean one, for sure...

[quinnmorgendorffer]

What’s... what the gay Jason Bateman show

OH. FUCKING. BOY.

Let me tell you about this show. This show. This fucking beautiful, awful, terrible, amazing, gay sHOW.

So, Jason Bateman did a Vanity Fair interview on YT talking about his biggest roles. Not all of them were really big or iconic, unlike the GQ one, which I highly recommend. So, anyways, he does the VF interview and he brings up this short-lived show in 2001, because his career has been like almost exclusively short lived TV shows since he first popped up in like one season of Little House on the Prairie. And this show was called Some of My Best Friends. And the conceit of the show is that a gay man and a straight man live together. Oh the hilarity!

Trust me, he was very much making the same sarcastic jokes about that, about how “apparently that was progressive back then”. And he already said it in the interview, but one look at this picture tells you who exactly the gay man is supposed to be:

That’s right, it’s Jason Bateman playing a gay man. But, like, a Will Truman gay man with a Jack best friend sort of thing. It lasted nine episodes. It’s a dumbass concept based off a film written by a straight man that based it off his own experiences I guess and he was really trying his best to be a good ally. But like…it’s not good lol.

So, the full set-up is that Jason Bateman’s character—whom we call gay Michael since it’s gay Michael Bluth—was living with his bf, got home one day and found the bf left him. He puts out an ad for a roommate and calls himself a “GWM” - gay white male. This Italian—they emphasize him being Italian so much, so I just call him Italian dude—wants to be an actor and needs to get out of his controlling mother’s house. So, he sees “GWM” and thinks it’s “guy with money”. Eventually he realizes what it really means and after at first freaking out, the pilot ends with them deciding to stay roommates. And the remaining episodes are just wacky hijinks and misunderstandings.

Now, I love sitcoms of all kinds. And I love truly awful shows, too. And so when I found out all the episodes are on YouTube, I fucking rejoiced. As did @theonewherelaurynhasablog. She gets me that way lol.

So back in February, after I got home from work one day, we sat down to rabbit them (RIP, man). We invited others btw and got no interest. Whatever, it was their loss.

And yes, it was awful. But also not awful. There were jokes that landed. Stories that I found highkey hilarious—as did Lauryn, btw. 

There was a very weirdly delightful episode where gay Michael hangs out with his very gay friend and the Italian dude’s mother and ends up, after some persuading, giving her sex tips. There’s an episode where he helps Italian dude throw his parents a big anniversary party and shit goes down. There’s an episode where Italian dude think gay Michael is into him and then vice versa. It’s all so dumb.

But weirdly funny.

And so fucking shippable. 

The last episode we ended up watching—I think we have one more left but like I had work the next day and she had uni—they find a stray dog and, after some convincing, gay Michael allows them to take it in. They become a fucking family. But Italian dude has gay panic because a girl in their building assumed he was in a relationship with gay Michael. Eventually, since it’s a sitcom, the owners find the missing ad and take the dog back and gay Michael is so sad because they were a family and he liked that!!! 

Keep in mind btw that his fucking sister is his LANDLORD! He has a family!!!

So, what does Italian dude do to make it up to him for his gay panic and all?

HE BUYS THEM A FUCKING FISH!

SO THEY CAN BE A FAMILY TOGETHER!!!!!

WHAT STRAIGHT GUY DOES THAT??????

So, yeah, we ended up loving it despite how  horrible it was. We were planning an AD fanfic around it—Blunder style, obviously, with gay Michael being Tony and Gob as the Italian dude, Lindsay as his best friend, Sally as the landlord, and Michael and Tracey were going to be the over-involved “parental” roles. IF we ever have the time, maybe we’ll make it happen. We had an over-arching plot starting anyways like it’s so easy to make this straight story into a straightbait story.

But, again, the show’s not good. It’s not horrible, but it ain’t good. And, yes, I’m glad it got cancelled or else we probably wouldn’t have gotten AD. Still, it’s really fun. And, as an added bonus, YT has both the pilot AND the unaired pilot.

Best part of the unaired pilot, you ask? Well, it’s almost exactly the same, except a different woman playing the Italian dude’s mother, bUT! BUT!!!! For whatever reason, all the transition music is “Blue (Da Ba Dee)”. For LITERALLY! NO! REASON!!!

Yes, we watched both.

Anyways, I’m sorry this got so long, but I am so fucking passionate about this show. I love dumb, awful, multi-cam sitcoms like this. I love trash TV in sitcom form. And this is as trashy yet as good as it gets. So bad it’s good to the max.

And today Lauryn brought it up in a discord server we’re in and then made that moodboard and I told her to publish it so I could have it somewhere and that’s why it’s up months after we watched it.