#like get as far away from me rn | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

if-mirrormine · 3 months ago

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a man approached me at the gym this morning (WHILE i was mid bulgarian split squat mind you like sir i do not have the time nor will nor energy for this right now) trying to chat me up and i can't help but imagine how often that happens to gray.

and you know what. add that to the growing list of drabble ideas.

#i need people to leave me alone at the gym #it immediately angered me lmao #like get as far away from me rn #anyway #rant (?) over #alli talks

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stressedanime · 11 months ago

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just received +25 psychic damage by relating song lyrics to the treatment of demigods in pjo

#coffins by misterwives #when i tell yall i made myself nauseous #i heard the lyrics “how do you soften the thought of carrying coffins? we were so alive only to see us wither and die” and i thought of #lester carrying jasons coffin to camp jupiter #this entire song feels like demigods who once had faith in the gods. but just can't anymore after being used for so long #god what i could do if i could edit videos still #lyrics “your ego swallowed you and from there you fled so far away could not find your way back”#SO lester coded #OH FUCK IT GETS WORSE #“i shook your ears tried to make you hear my call but you were long gone. no hope in a sunless dawn”#tell me thats not piper when shes holding jasons body #oh my GOD I SHOULD BE SLEEPING RN BUT SDJFKSLNFJSKLNJK im inflicting the damage on myself at this point #trials of apollo #the burning maze #toa spoilers #tbm spoilers #jason grace #lester papadopoulos #piper mclean #percy jackson #pjo #oh my GOD upon further analysis #it could also be very much thalia @ luke coded #about his corruption and turning his back on demigods #ohhhhhh this song is going to be the death of me

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magentagalaxies · 1 month ago

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wanted to go to bed at midnight but instead stayed up to 3am writing an outline for a future video essay about the simpsons (specifically todd flanders' grief-as-purgatory and the graggle simpson meme)

#might be one of my weirdest essays i've written (technically it's just bullet points so far)#but i really like it and it might be the first real ''video essay'' i make #my goal rn is to put out that college-class-tier-ranking video first. then maybe one about my favorite albums of 2024 #(ik it's been 2025 for almost a month i'm not confined to timeliness lmao)#and then do a full-on video essay for my todd flanders video #and i will get to my chicken lady essay eventually time just got away from me lmao #anyway lowkey intimidated to make a simpsons video essay bc some of my favorite video essays of all time have been about this show #(shoutout to therealjims if you like the simpsons definitely check out his channel)#but the todd stuff is such a niche topic and i haven't seen any of them discuss the ''graggle'' meme as more than a passing reference #so even tho the show has been analyzed to death i think i've found my own take to approach it from

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lesbianwyllravengard · 1 year ago

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Jesus fucking christ I hate the US south

#Cw gun mention I guess #I was feeling super nauseous so I went into the kitchen to get ritz crackers #And we're at my grandma's rn for Christmas and she has windows in the kitchen that look out at the road/other houses #And NO curtains or blinds because she's old #And anyway I turned a small light on so I could see the crackers and I hear a fucking man outside shout “WHO'S OUT THERE”#In the heaviest southern accent. Mind you every fucking person in this area has a gun bc there's lots of trees with squirreld they shoot #And logically now that I am calming down I know it was just a bad coincidence and he was probably yelling at smthn in his yard #But jesus fucking christ I felt such immediate intense fear my head went cold #Ran to my baby brother's room bc I was certain someone was gonna come kill us #Then the rationality took over and I just told my mom about it. But now I'm sitting outside his room eating crackers bc I'm fucking paranoid #It is almost 4am and I haven't slept a wink I cannot do this rn #But literally the last time I went for a walk around here my dad told me not to go alone and also not to say anything stupid #And also stay far away from houses bc I could get myself shot #Literally what the fuck is this.#“Afearican” except I'm still very much in the US #Not to mention almost every fucking house has a blue lives matter flag and some have isr*el flags now too like #I fuuuuucking hate it here

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amegeddon · 6 days ago

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HOLY FUCKING SHIT

I WAS NOT READY FOR THE WAR WITHIN QUESTLINE

I HEARD DE COOKED BUT I DIDN'T REALISE IT WAS GONNA BE A GOURMET FEAST HOLY HELL THAT WAS AMAZING???

I have also heard the story gets EVEN BETTER from this point on so oh my god I'm very hyped for that. Just a shame mhwilds is out in a few days since it's 100% going to eat my attention lol

#I think if I knew just how good tww was gonna be I probably would've managed to get into wf on my first try #bc it took THREE tries for me to finally figure out the game and start properly progressing #and god I'm so glad it clicked for me on my third try #this game is genuinely amazing (even with its flaws that make it difficult to get into) and I love it so much #really excited to see where the story goes :) and to see what 1999 is like once I reach it #the demo for it was fun so hey the full version probs will be too #also sidenote I really like that I've clocked 78 hours in the game so far but I could probably still be considered a newbie LMAO #not got a lot of frames. or weapons. only just hit rank... 7 I think?#I do have a good chunk of frames building rn though #very excited I've wanted chroma since I first started in late 2023 and now I'm just over a day away from getting him!!#plus volt and saryn who both seem really fun to play as (esp volt I love being extremely fast at all times)#warframe

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bruiisedfawn · 16 days ago

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₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ☆.𖥔 ݁ ˖

#so anxious all the time. there s just too much going on rn and everything is changing and i dont like any of it.#i've had the exact same life for years and years and years and i dont like change.. even if itmight be needed i dont like it #my sister moved and as my mom is there with out dog all the time.. i realized how hard it is to be so far away #and i'm mostly in waiting lists for student housing in cities further away. but thats bc it's so hard to get appartments in cities close by #so now im realizing how hard it's gonna be to be so far away from my dog :c and he is 9 & this breed's estimated lifespan is 13yrs.... :(((#plus being far away from the only support system i have. even if we are dysfunctional it's like #if smth happens to my cat then my family could help me but if im several hours away im on my own :/#and not only that. i have to first get accepted to a program. then find an appartment...#but before that i need to pass my two classes.... and then do a test for a third class and somehow pass that #just to get grades in all courses i need to be able to get my highschool diploma #buuuuut also. i need to apply for university in march. and i wont get my grades until may. so.. i need to get documents showing #im taking the classes needed that will make me be eligible for the program when it starts #i get overwhelmed by just running several errands in one day my brain is shutting downnnn #i dont wanna be an adult and independent. i dont want to.#ppl can talk all they want abt how you're 'supposed' to live. but i just dont agree. i dont think everyone are buikt to live the same way #i dont want to be in charge or have responsibilities. i could have a job yes but i dont wanna live alone or whatever whatever id #im just so anxious and stressed qnd i cant relax at all. i dont like being alone and have to figure out all of these things alone #it's so stressful and too much for me to handle and think abt and i just wish #.. im so envious of other ppl lol #like all my old friends are in relationships.... they dont have to be stressed abt where to move and what to do on their own #idk. i just dont know!!!!!!!!! i want to love w my family forever bc like in the future we could afford a house together.#but they dont wanna do that 😭😭😭😭😭 i get it but im just stressed #hmm.. i dont know. im not good under time pressure either.. like.. there is such a short span of time now where everything will change #i dont like it :///////

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corpocyborg · 27 days ago

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having played a decent amount of bg3 now i can say with absolute certainty that i'm going to durgetash hell

#in my next playthrough i mean #i'm tav rn but when i play durge... oof #i expected astarion to interest me more than he does tbh #however a pretty boy simply cannot compete with a wet rat man #i know a lot of villainfuckers like raphael too but eh #all he does is talk a bunch and be cryptic and not really do anything useful lol #and if you try to make a deal with him apparently he just decides he doesn't want it anymore?#and monsterfuckers seem to be into the emperor but again... eh.#i mean his story is cool i guess but i was kinda annoyed that i had to support him no matter what #anyway i have eyes for one (1) man #i mean my tav is romancing karlach and i do like her a lot & they are chaotic cuties together #my durge is gonna be pure evil though #i am interested to see how it changes things but honestly i was kinda disappointed so far by how many illusory choices this game has #like it seems like a lot of the time they try to make it feel like you have more control over the plot than you actually do #like for example i am playing a gith who ran away from her creche because of strong ideological differences #and i wanted to side with orpheus and kill the emperor but apparently that's just not a real choice? like i guess u just die if u do that #also i succeeded on the check to get ketheric to surrender and he WAS surrendering but then aylin flew in and i was forced to fight him?#so far it seems like you pretty quickly get ushered back into the same main sequence of events no matter what #like the game isn't bad but it also is not as good as i was lead to believe #i know some degree of railroading happens in every RPG ever and is pretty much inevitable ofc #idk maybe it is just bc my expectations were too high bc of how much praise the game gets but it's not really on the level i expected

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deadmossballz · 1 month ago

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sometimes i rlly wish i lived closer to my friends :/

#i live about 30-40 minutes away from my friends rn #and like i know that isnt that far but sometimes i wish i could go hang out with them on a whim yk #like having to drive 30 minutes back to my place at night isnt super fun #and we have work school in the morning so by the time we all can hang out its usually in the late afternoon and such and i end up having to #leave early bc i gotta get back home at a reasonable (ish) time bc i tend to have work at 8 or 9 in the morning #like i wanna move out from my parents but like im planning on going to school in the fall and im still paying off my car so theres like no #way for me to afford rent + car payments and all that #tldr i like seeing my friends and i wanna hang out with them more outside of the weekends #hopefully my friends and my schedule will line up some when i start university in the fall

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yaminerua · 2 months ago

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so many things about selling online are so complicated now and maybe I’m just too overwhelmed to really understand it but either way it boggles my mind and makes me constantly terrified I’m gonna Do Something Wrong so my old storenvy has been perpetually closed for ages. I really don’t know what I’m gonna do with all that old stuff from cons I used to sell at years ago.

like I’d sell it online but I’d have to limit where I am able ship to bc the EU’s new GPSR requirements are an extra layer of things im not even sure how to go about following, as well as the VAT issues that already existed. It would’ve been different if Brexit hadn’t happened but. Well.

it’s sucks tho bc it means I can’t really offer my things to anyone in the EU, or N. Ireland either I think. Storenvy doesn’t actually let you remove regions from the shipping options tho so I would probably have to raise the shipping price to something stratospheric instead.

idk if I’d ever be able to sell at cons again and even then this is all old stock I need to offload and if I sold at cons I really ought to make new stuff. But I have like. Barely any money to pay all the bills and afford food rn it’s getting very close. So there’s no way I can afford ordering a bunch of merch and a table spot and all the other stuff, esp if it might not even sell

sometimes I feel a bit like I have a wall around my brain keeping me from being able to Understand everything I need to understand and it makes me feel so very out of my depth lmao

#I should probably just open commissions again now that i can draw with my ipad to make art #my old sheet probably could do with updating tho it was a bit busy #Sometimes it’s like. Well we couldn’t afford food today which is going to happen for a bit rn #Since my dad got fined for driving without insurance (it had expired the previous day) and he doesn’t really have the means rn #To pay for the insurance cover. My uncle used to pay it bc it used to be his car that dad was just borrowing #but then he gave dad the car proper and shifted the insurance and stuff to him and this is the first year he had to pay it #so it got a bit confused as to when the cover was up and how to go about it #I don’t Want to beg for donations when things get super tight bc there are so many ppl in far worse situations and I can like. Live I guess #But man. It has me constantly on edge bc it’s only one big enough inconvenience away from genuinely being a major problem

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gifti3 · 3 months ago

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so yea running servers isnt like a cheap thing is what ive been learning these past couple weeks

#fair warning this is me just like going off new knowledge so i could be getting things wrong #buying an actual server isnt really that expensive itself! the issue is like actually running it and when you have actual ppl on said serve #thats where costs start racking up #theres different ways to go about handling a server but mainly what ive been getting from this is:#self hosting (running urself) or managed hosting (having a 3rd party run it for you)#so when ur small or solo u can get away with managed servers cause theyre pretty lowcost or free #and you usually want to go this route if you dont have the skills built up to take care of a server yourself #or if you arent interested in learning cause its pretty time consuming and u have to upkeep it #but they are scary expensive once u get a certain amount of users from what ive seen #its extremely convenient and gives u peace of mind but theres no point using the service if ur making enough money #especially since you wont have as much control of your server if its managed #so at that point just hire people to take care of your own servers you buy #however there are still server costs u need to pay (along with the people u have hired)#im only bringing this up to say that solmare is running ''two'' separate servers for two seperate games (as far as ik)#and probably arent making that much more in profit cause #me as a user...if i have two games that r practically the same on my phone im not spending money on both #its either one or the other #but you still need to pay accordingly to have both of these servers up #like realistically they arent gonna be able to keep both apps running indefinitely #but yea whatever they were saying in the beginning about having both games running and not forgetting about the og #was either a very generous guess or they were just lying #if it were like a nikki game situation where all the games r very different then maybe it would have been feasible #anyways yea sorry i needed an excuse to talk about the website stuff ive been learning!! and obey me is always in the back of my head #im like thinking about this stuff a lot cause for my site i need to have a server and its like okay we r gucci rn #i can stick with managed for now cause im assuming its gonna stay small #but like...theres always that non zero percent chance that it might not be gucci later on lol #so been researching a lot and i just dont wanna run my own server that sounds so boring its not even funny #so yea im just like AHHH

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vypridae · 3 months ago

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chat im half cooked

#i have work this week but i live too far away for my dad to want to take me #i work 4 days (friday saturday and then thanksgiving weds thurs)#i have a ride to work on friday + there and back weds and thurs #BUT AS OF RN IM STILL COOKED TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET HOME OM FRIDAY AND GET TO AND FROM WORK ON SATURDAY #chat im losing my mind #the curse of being unable to drive. soon hopefully i pray and then all will be fine maybe because im SO limited right now #xanrants #i guess thats more xanrants than xanchats but also idk i just. bawled my eyes out for like 10 minutes straight i was so stressed BHGBHGH #i am Fine now tho and i am now once again thinking about sun and moon. as always

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bruiisedfawn · 2 months ago

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☁️

#i thought of smth today....#i will try to bring it up w my mom...#bc like my sister has moved out on her own and my mom stays there a lot bc we've all been cramped up in this tiny apartment 4ever #but my mom hates this apartment and neighborhood (we all do) and she HAS to move she says #but she only talks abt moving w my little sister #the idea is that i will move out to another city (wherever i cand find an appartment + program/school)#but..... it just hit me..#that if i would study online i.e on distance and not have to go to a physical school #then i wouldnt have to move to a specific city #and i could move with them....#bc the reason i cant now is bc of my income that isnt approved to put on contracts etc #but..... maybeeee if i do that and i could study from wherever as long as i have internet #maybe i domt have to move to a city far away (im only able to look at omes where student housing is available... and nothing is close by)#this all made me think and honestly i cant be far away from my family and our pets #esp when i wont be able to afford to travel to them often lol #i cant be alone i think.... i just wont be able to live like that... i wish i could make my mom understand that #i'd wish in the future i could have a partner and live w them. but that isnt what my reality is rn lol </3333 #i have to choose between moving to a city 3-5hrs away from my family or... uh be homeless ig lol #so i will bring this up w her and see what she says #maybe she'll just shoot it down immediately haha...#but i will test the waters at least... maybe she'll need convincing :')))#im just not ready bc that would mean that i would have to move...#this august.... fuck i get a heartattack just thinking abt it #i'd have to hurry and finish 3 classes by may #but also have started applying for university in uhh... march/april maybe????#and then find housing... and get one in the same city i can get into a program in #and then move in august 🥴🥴🥴🥴#no thanks i wanna fucking throw up just thinking abt it NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOO. NO. NOPE.#ok i will have to convince my mom fuck that T-T

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keeps-ache · 4 months ago

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once again i am on the playlist lol

#just me hi #my strange brain concoctions back at it again lmfsh #i've been workin on it by bits and bits for the past 2-3ish days and i think i've almost got what i mean hfvbs #yea... mnmnm...#//outta the Lagoons into the Blues !! what a transition hkfshv #i mean i Have found that i actually really really like the shampoo we've been using for like 5 years hghfsv #but also i've had to switch from that one to a different one anyway cuz my hair? is grezy ghfbshv #it Is soft now though which is cool :D cuz the old soap didn't get it quite well and i was using dish soap sometimes to strip it so Lmao #which btw the dish soap worked p well. however it Did feel stripped kgfhsv #/what else what else uuum #i've developed more world stuff for pi.e which is also very epic and neat ; like the 3 Cities + radiation towns + Sanctuary cities +#Sanctuary zones + how they interact w/ each other lol :)#i have these weird lil creatures that i'm calling Rascals rn but i think they need a different name pfshv #and also cuz i made the general world bigger that means i have defined more of the plot just by. scribbling some points for towns on paper #yea :D this thing is maybe just a little bit daunting but i'll prolly get it figured out lol ; roman 3 #/oh i Do really wanna draw more pi.e stuff to post hfh :>#cuz despite it all i am still v shy abt my stuff and that's kinda silly so !!#/sometimes my brain gets into these weird paper jams where i'm doing one thing but then i see and wanna do another thing (easy transition ?#but then i see another thing and then another and now i have 4 different things and i feel bad just focusing on just one because. ??? ????#when i was little i used to humanize objects Just before they were thrown away and i think that sort of carried over in a weird way bfhsvgj #balance in all things !! wait no not like that w-#//oh wait wait did i ever mention i learned to make stir fried rice w/ egg #prolly not that big of a deal but i'm STILL happy abt that lol :D #maybe especially cuz i was doing most of the cooking while my picky-cook brother was helping and he thought it was good so like YAY #though tried to make it a second time and i let my ma put the salt in the pot and she oversalted it by Far TwT #it was fine though just really salty lol :)#//mnm also getting into classic vehicles a lil bit #just a bit! cuz i don't know where to start and i just really like that one bike i doodled a bit ago #also i'm a bit spooked that my dad will find out and he is Overwhelming when he finds you might like smth he knows smth abt gfvsgh <3 #//Oh i'm outta tag space pfshgv - Toodlesssss ciao :3

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waerloge · 7 months ago

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I swear to fucking god, if they don't hire some new employees soon, and if that one coworker doesn't come back to help out already, I will lose my fucking mind.

#I keep getting full time shifts despite literally officially working PART time #and they're not even paying me accordingly #Just the usual part time amount. while giving me full time shifts.#I didn't even get paid accordingly for covering all those shifts for that one employee who refused to come anymore #due to being so down in the dumps about her fucking boyfriend drama and ultimately quitting because of it #And then there's a bunch of other shit that annoys me #and while none of this is So annoying that it makes me want to kms like my previous job-#I don't think I'm coming back for a second season once my contract expires #At least I'll finally have some proper job experience to put on my resumé. One (1) decent thing will be on there at least.#I hope when this is over I can manage to get a job at the writing and art supply store near the store I work at rn lol #Or a bookstore #Idc where just quiet and not too far away from wherr I live #v3nt

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phagodyke · 7 months ago

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weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<

#im gonna go and do my food shop etc to keep myself busy and hopefully my 2nd meds will kick in and we'll be able to handle it together #i think i kind of do this so regularly bc my brain is just processing everything bc i dont rly have time during the week #all cool tho im doing good overall def on the up n i feel way more capable of coping emotionally which is nice. i <3 meds #also.. possibly settling on the idea that i might be agender. very tentatively. lots of experiences n thoughts coming together rn #ive been reacting in unexpected ways to a lot of gendered shit atm which has made me reconsider the way i think abt myself #but very difficult to articulate it to myself let alone anyone else. so ive been sitting with it for now until it precipitates #gender stuff has never rly affected me much or ive never been in a place to explore it which is why i havent thought abt it super hard #but im not the sort of person who needs a lot of internal exploration to figure out my identity like im v self aware tbh #and while im wildly indecisive abt most things in my life for some reason i never have been abt stuff like this. i learned abt lesbianism #like idk 9 years ago-ish and straight away was like yeah that makes sense for me. never looked back since #n similarly ive experienced forms of gender dysphoria before n just immediately dealt with it symptomatically n moved on #its never been smth to agonise abt for me like i know what makes me comfortable in my skin so theres no question abt doing it #and ik im privileged to be able to do that. and also it helps that gender for me is mostly divorced from external perceptions #+ that im v autistic so social pressures dont stick to me very well. i mean yeah i was bullied for it as a kid but i was stubborn asf #so yeah from the moment i realised i was genuinely uncomfortable/upset abt it earlier this week i was like okay. lets try this instead #its given me pretty instant relief from any distress i was feeling so far which is nice. rare respite from one of my torture labyrinths #just testing out internally whether it frames things more clearly n makes me feel more myself/at peace before i choose to stick w the idea #but not gonna do a whole coming out fanfare either way. dont think i wanna change how ppl interact w me + im still a dyke #so i dont consider it relevant to anyone else unless they share a similar understanding of gender to me. or if we're v close #ill prolly broach it w other trans friends eventually bc insert philosophers talking image. but to everyone else its business as usual #happy to play my cis-sona at work. + w new queer ppl i meet ive been introducing myself recently w mirrored pronouns instead of any/all #and i think i prefer that. virtually indistinguishable but theres smth nice abt inviting ppl to recognise me the way they do themselves #like translating + localising a non-gendered language into a gendered one... simplifying decisions abt how to perceive me #and ofc ppl are still gonna perceive me however but idc much unless we're actually friends. the rest is all a performance anyway #doubtful anyone on here ever has reason to refer to me but if u do for some reason... im freeloading off ur pronouns now btw <3 #but yeahhh. much 2 think abt. i need to read more alien/ai sci fi.. non-human sentience has been such a comforting concept lately #but yea tldr i woke up one morning this week like damn im prolly agender but i have a full time job to go to rn so idc abt that #.diaries #okkkk my dex is kicking in im no longer on the verge of tears lets go get these groceries wooohoooo

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gemharvest · 7 months ago

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Need to get on top of whatever dumb fucking inferiority complex I got going on I'm tired of looking at everything about myself and going "Wow I am really sub-par." I know it's 2am but this isn't the midnight thoughts talking this is a fucking persistent curse throughout my day.

#ventings #drew up a really cute sketch and I will be honest I wanna share it at this stage sooo bad but my brain keeps telling me #that my dialogue writing is atrocious. so i guess im keeping this to myself until its lined lol #its going to take so much for me to share it and not go `sorry if this is ass haha..` BECAUSE I DONT WANNA SOUND LIKE IM FISHING #FOR COMPLEMENTS. IM NOT. I JUST GENUINELY DON'T THINK A LOT OF WHAT I COME UP WITH IS GOOD #LOL. LMAO EVEN idk im not even sad about this its kinda just pissing me off. can i not be confident in my works at least once #i think this is why i dont write a lot either. cuz id love to do it more i just constantly think what i put down is complete ass and it #demotivates me. positive comments are nice and i appreciate them sm but then my brain goes back on its bullshit #going to throw up and cry so many talented people surround me and i genuinely do not get what anyone sees in me LOL #like you can follow people who emulate the fnf style better. you can follow people who make better ship art or fics #you can follow people who are funnier. the worst is feeling like everyone around you is a moment away from realizing youre #actually worth nothing and dropping you for someone better at articulating things or who are funnier or are less annoying or #okay i just looked into the invisible camera and gave a toothy smile and a thumbs up to stop myself from crying i think #ive gone far enough into this. im going to bed #sorry everyone who sees this i promise im not normally this much of a sad bitch!#my inhibitions are just lowered cuz im tired and also all of my friends should be asleep rn so im not gonna accidentally #make people feel bad for me cuz of this. gluh. ive got shitpost doodles in the works ill be back to being goofy shortly

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