#like get as far away from me rn

[if-mirrormine]

a man approached me at the gym this morning (WHILE i was mid bulgarian split squat mind you like sir i do not have the time nor will nor energy for this right now) trying to chat me up and i can't help but imagine how often that happens to gray.

and you know what. add that to the growing list of drabble ideas.

[falmerbrook]

Not to be too corny but the new year has got me thinking and I really appreciate this blog because this is pretty much the only site/community/fandom where I don't stress out over posting every single thing I post, afraid I'll be shit on for... something (my brain is very good at coming up with hypotheticals). I know, I know I'm way too sensitive and i shouldn't care about what others think and the internet isn't real so it doesn't matter etc. etc. but unfortunately I just don't know how to get my brain to work like that. I mean, I'm still too afraid of being cringe to draw/write/yap about everything I'd hypothetically like to, but I've been way more social and open to posting my thoughts on here than I've ever been before, and it's made me more confident online overall. So thank you all for being so welcoming and chill!

[stressedanime]

just received +25 psychic damage by relating song lyrics to the treatment of demigods in pjo

[la-galaxie-langblr]

what is going on w my brain

[magentagalaxies]

wanted to go to bed at midnight but instead stayed up to 3am writing an outline for a future video essay about the simpsons (specifically todd flanders' grief-as-purgatory and the graggle simpson meme)

[lesbianwyllravengard]

Jesus fucking christ I hate the US south

[deadmossballz]

sometimes i rlly wish i lived closer to my friends :/

[crab-people-overlord]

"You're Getting Older/Ass Burgers", the Analysis that nobody asked for:

I’ve seen lots of discourse about the ‘’You’re Getting Older’ x ‘Ass Burgers’ episodes (and for good reason - imo they’re some of the best episodes in all of cartoons and even media in general that shows what depression is actually like). Folks seem really eager to pick sides - either defending Stan's struggle with depression and condemning Kyle's abandonment, or justifying Kyle's decision to distance himself from Stan's overwhelming negativity. But here's the thing: this really isn't a situation where we need to choose teams (and picking a team misses the whole fucking point).  I’ve had this written for a while but might as well share it now since I’m feeling a certain way about TikTok’s potential ban in a couple hours lmao.

Imo, the truth is a combination of both. Stan was wrong to expect Kyle to understand the utter depression and dark thoughts he was having and be able to offer real support based on those extremely dark thoughts. And Kyle was 100% wrong to just give up so easily on such a deep friendship despite the struggles and negativity his friend was projecting onto him. And I hate either Stan apologists defending Kyle being a piece of shit for this, and I similarly hate Kyle apologists for defending Kyle walking away so quickly and giving up so readily to their deep friendship even if it was for something he couldn’t understand. Neither side is right.  

The brilliance of these episodes lies in how they capture the messy reality of friendship during mental health struggles. Stan's experiencing something terrifying and incomprehensible - literally seeing and tasting everything as shit, a perfect metaphor for depression. He's a 10-year-old kid dealing with adult emotions he has no framework to understand or express. Of course he lashed out, especially given that it was the ADULTS he was supposed to trust who got him into alcohol in the first place. Of course he was difficult to be around. But telling your best friend "fuck you" and then trying to backpedal? That's not okay, depression or not.

On the flip side, Kyle's position is equally complex. Watching your best friend spiral into darkness while being completely unable to help or understand what they're going through? That's scary as hell, especially for a kid. But the show makes it crystal clear through the executive's pointed commentary that walking away from someone diagnosed with a serious condition - which depression absolutely is - represents a fundamental failure of friendship.

The episode literally tells us word-for-word what the creators want us to get from it:

Later on, the exec says, "Oh yeah, like any friend would say something that severe and then try to take it back' (at Stan trying to downplay his telling 'fuck you' to kyle's face earlier.)

And then they say when Kyle says that Stan's negativity was poison to him, the exec says sarcastically, "Yeah, like any friend would walk out on somebody who was diagnosed with a serious illness!"

The exec here is telling us what the creators want you to get out of the episode - that Stan, despite his scary and new feelings, never should have verbally treated Kyle that way, mental health issues or not. And that Kyle, despite the scary things his friend was feeling and how confusing it was, never should have just walked away from him. Trying to defend either boy’s behavior does nobody any good. THEY BOTH WERE WRONG.

What makes these episodes so powerful is their refusal to offer easy answers. Stan couldn't help falling into depression, but he could have tried harder to not push Kyle away or verbally be so harsh. Kyle couldn't fix Stan's depression, but he could have shown more patience and understanding instead of just bailing when things got tough. The show is saying something profound here: sometimes in life, everyone can be wrong at the same time, and that's what makes these situations so painfully human.

If there is anyone to be upset with in this situation, it’s the adults in Stan’s life. Their failure is staggering and unfortunately realistic. Randy and Sharon’s response to Stan's crisis is almost a textbook example of how not to handle a child's mental health issues (and this is coming from someone who usually respects Sharon). Instead of focusing on their clearly struggling son, they make it all about their own drama. Randy goes on national TV to call his son a ‘freak’ and the reason for the divorce. I love Sharon,and while it is shown she at least does the bare minimum to take Stan to therapy, she often gets way too involved in her showdowns with Randy over her children’s well-being (just look to the episode where Stan gets shot at school  but Sharon caves to Randy’s nonchalant response on this. I know this was more meant to be funny, but genuinely, what about Stan in this situation? What fear did he have to go through when he got shot at school and realized his parents didn’t fucking care enough to immediately go see him? Again, I love Sharon, but her potential of being a good parent is seriously held back from her hold on Randy’s manipulations.)

Stan also goes to the school-counselor as a cry for help, but Mr. Mackey’s response is both satirical and sadly reflective of real-world issues in mental health diagnoses. Rather than actually listening to Stan's symptoms and concerns, he jumps to an incorrect diagnosis based on trendy medical fears (the vaccine-autism conspiracy theory). This represents a broader criticism of how mental health issues in children are often misdiagnosed or dismissed, especially when adults are more concerned with their own theories than actually listening to the child. I think one of the only times I’ve actually teared up when watching SP or ANY SHOW is when Stan asks while finally crying after being so emotionally numb for so long, so vulnerably, “How do you go on when NOTHING makes you happy?” Stan is genuinely asking this question here. He utterly does not understand how anyone can continue to live life while being so miserable. But of course, Mr. Mackey goes to ruin it by touting conspiracy theories. This context actually makes Kyle's failure even more tragic - he was literally Stan's last hope for support, the only person left who Stan thought might have understood, the person he loved and trusted the most, the only person he trusted enough to open up fully to, and the last thing in Stan's eyes to turn to literal shit. But it also somewhat explains Kyle's inability to handle it - he's just a kid himself, and when all the adults in Stan's life failed so spectacularly, it's too fucking much to expect a 10-year-old to know how to handle his friend's depression. The episodes work as a damning indictment of how society handles childhood mental health issues. While Stan and Kyle's friendship breakdown is the emotional core, the real villains are the adults who should have known better and done better, and I won’t accept any Stan or Kyle ‘apologists��� claiming otherwise. It's especially poignant because South Park usually portrays kids as being more sensible than adults - but here, everyone fails, highlighting just how difficult mental health situations can be to navigate without proper support systems.

[yaminerua]

so many things about selling online are so complicated now and maybe I’m just too overwhelmed to really understand it but either way it boggles my mind and makes me constantly terrified I’m gonna Do Something Wrong so my old storenvy has been perpetually closed for ages. I really don’t know what I’m gonna do with all that old stuff from cons I used to sell at years ago.

like I’d sell it online but I’d have to limit where I am able ship to bc the EU’s new GPSR requirements are an extra layer of things im not even sure how to go about following, as well as the VAT issues that already existed. It would’ve been different if Brexit hadn’t happened but. Well.

it’s sucks tho bc it means I can’t really offer my things to anyone in the EU, or N. Ireland either I think. Storenvy doesn’t actually let you remove regions from the shipping options tho so I would probably have to raise the shipping price to something stratospheric instead.

idk if I’d ever be able to sell at cons again and even then this is all old stock I need to offload and if I sold at cons I really ought to make new stuff. But I have like. Barely any money to pay all the bills and afford food rn it’s getting very close. So there’s no way I can afford ordering a bunch of merch and a table spot and all the other stuff, esp if it might not even sell

sometimes I feel a bit like I have a wall around my brain keeping me from being able to Understand everything I need to understand and it makes me feel so very out of my depth lmao

[gifti3]

so yea running servers isnt like a cheap thing is what ive been learning these past couple weeks

[vypridae]

chat im half cooked

[keeps-ache]

once again i am on the playlist lol

[arolesbianism]

I may be failing my plan to not make any isat aus. So there's this guy her name is Euphrasie right. What if I took her and combined what could be 3 separate au concepts into one. And in the process forced myself to go back and reread a bunch of shit to make sure I know how to maximally fuck over this sad wet puppy of a woman

[warlockeye]

I swear to fucking god, if they don't hire some new employees soon, and if that one coworker doesn't come back to help out already, I will lose my fucking mind.

[phagodyke]

weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<

[gemharvest]

Need to get on top of whatever dumb fucking inferiority complex I got going on I'm tired of looking at everything about myself and going "Wow I am really sub-par." I know it's 2am but this isn't the midnight thoughts talking this is a fucking persistent curse throughout my day.