#like from a business perspective I get what both sides want I just think one side is remarkably arrogant and foolish

[ujuro]

Man I feel so bad for newjeans cause after observing their career for what? Two years since they debuted? I came to the general conclusion that min heejin was one of the most insufferable people in kpop but seemed to at least have that under control enough to do right by the girls for the time being (even if the reasoning was that she saw them as an extension of her own genius rather than caring about them as people) but no turns out like from the minute they blew up she was planning to try fist fight the parent company they’re under like come on 😭

[drchucktingle]

sometimes buds ask’ what is it like to be a neurodivergent artist?’ and this is great summary: the charts can look like this, and at same time people will be endlessly posting on how you are ‘not real’ or ‘a bit’. you can hold bestsellers in slot 1 to 4 and still not be 'serious'

i am ultimately ok with this. i love my trot and would not have it any other way, but i think it is worth investigation. when irony poisoning has seeped into everything, how many times does a neurodivergent person have to say ‘actually this is NOT so bad its good. its just good’

when you are autistic, or queer, or both, how much proof do you need to be considered good art? or good business? what do the charts have to look like for me to be a ‘real’ author? or allowed my face mask at a library association conference? or one person not a group of writers?

im coming up on a decade of writing tinglers soon, and people are still talkin about my ‘serious’ works vs my ‘joke books’ and at every turn, as kindly as i can, i shout from the rooftops: THEY ARE ALL SERIOUS BOOKS. THIS IS NOT A BIT.

but its hard when buds have had ‘the correct way to be a writer. the correct way to be an artist. the COOL way to react to a book that is TOO weird’ pounded into their heads by internet culture. 'kill it with fire' they say. 'i need eye bleach' they say without thinking. a line.

heres the thing, the tide IS turning. theres buckaroos jumping in and saying, ‘I want to be a part of this’ and for that they are being rewarded. the publisher who took me seriously is lookin pretty dang good right now with these charts and these sales. i am honored and moved

over time there will be more buds who shed that irony mask. the tide of sincerity is powerful, and the tide of love is inevitable. it is difficult to stand strong in our uniqueness but it also pays off, and I hope to be a shining example. eventually THE TIMELINE BENDS TO YOU

so this is not a thread to complain. i have been trotting long enough that these things do not really bother me. being made fun of and disparaged as ‘not legit art’ while also being objectively successful at the things im made fun of about is kind of the ocean that i swim in.

no. my point of this is to say THANK YOU to those of you who have been trotting by my side over these years. THANK YOU for proving love to me. im so honored by your support, and you should know that YOU have seen beyond the irony poisoned veil that stops many others. YOU get it.

and to those with their own unique perspective on creation: look what you can do. yes there will likely be a lot of resistance to something different, but there is also a LOT of reward. YOU can trot a new path. YOU can prove love is real, not in MY way, but IN YOUR OWN WAY

anyway thank you for reading buckaroos. thank you for your support. LUCKY DAY comes out next summer and it is probably as FAR OUT and existential as the tingleverse has ever gone. you can preorder it here

[miel-ji]

Wanted It Forever

Genre: angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort 

Pairing: Seungmin x Fem!Reader 

Word Count: 2k

Warning: argument, crying, depression 

Summary: After a fight unresolved, you’re left to wonder if there is even a relationship anymore to salvage

A/N: based on this request!! I hope this is what you were looking for <33 love when I get asks!!

“Oh my god, Y/n! Please, how many times are we going to have to go through this?” Seungmin asked you with wide eyes, his hands running through his hair for the nth time that night making it look wild and unruly. 

“Until you prioritize me for once in your life!” You shouted back at him. Your voice was strained, and it came out sounding more like a plea, desperate to get him to understand how you felt. 

You weren’t sure how long the two of you had been fighting for, but it felt like hours of just going in circles. You weren’t even sure what exactly started it, but the second you got to the root of the problem, everything seemed to unravel from trying to pretend that it was all fine for so long. You were in a standoff in the middle of the kitchen with him on one side of the island and you on the other, creating the distance that you had been starting to feel inside. You had tried to be patient with Seungmin, but it felt like the more you ignored it, the more he stopped even trying. 

He let out a long and frustrated sigh, “why are you being so needy and unreasonable? You know that I’m an idol. You know that I have a lot of responsibilities. I try to give you as much attention as I can. Why isn’t that enough for you?” Seungmin was always trying to maintain an even tone during an argument, but you could tell this one was wearing the both of you thin. It scared you a bit as the thought of this being the final argument played in the back of your mind. 

You scoffed disbelievingly at his words. You had no time to feel hurt by his accusations as you only felt anger simmering inside you from him not willing to see it from your perspective. “Needy? Unreasonable? Seungmin, you really think this is all about attention? This is the third time you’ve stood me up on a date. We haven’t properly gone out as a couple in over a month!” 

“You think I want to? I’m busy, Y/n! I thought you knew what you were getting into when we started dating.” He threw his hands up in frustration as he offered you the same excuse as he always did. 

“The Seungmin I started dating actually made me feel like his girlfriend! You put me on the backburner for everything these days, not just work. Am I so wrong for wanting to feel important to you?” All of your emotions were starting to bubble over, and you could feel the hot tears welling in your eyes. You swallowed thickly and clenched your fist, trying to stay in control. 

Seungmin leaned back against the cabinets with his arms folded. He was silent for a moment with your collective breathing being the only sound in the room. His head was bowed as he pinched the bridge of his nose, “You are important to me, Y/n.” He said, stressing each word firmly before looking at you again. “I don’t know what else you want me to do. I can’t just ignore my career for you.” 

You dragged both hands down your face, “You’re not listening to me!” 

“I am listening to you, but you’re not being fair!” he volleyed back defensively. 

You laughed sardonically as you took in the absurdity of looping back through another circle. “I can’t do this anymore,” you rubbed your temples as you started to pace. 

“Do what? This relationship?” Seungmin asked you bitterly. You froze in your spot, and the tension in the room was palpable. Were you both really calling your relationship into question? Had it really gotten that far? 

Your heart was quickening in pace at the thought, and it was getting harder to breathe. You were trembling from all the pent up emotion, and you tried to take a deep breath before facing Seungmin again. He was watching you closely with his eyebrows furrowed, and the hurt you saw reflected in his eyes made your anger slightly recede. “No, Seungmin,” you started defeatedly, with your shoulders slumping. “I just need a break.” 

“A break,” Seungmin repeated before it was his turn to laugh sardonically and shake his head. “You know what, fine. I’ll go.” He grumbled as he grabbed his keys with urgency and stalked over to the doorway.

You just watched as he quickly slipped on his shoes and paused as he reached for the door handle. He tilted his head up, and you could see his eyes were glossy as his bangs fell away from his face. It felt like a knife was twisting in your heart as you clearly saw how torn up he looked in that moment, seconds from breaking down like you. You wanted to reach out to him, but you couldn’t say anything as he took a deep breath and walked through the door. 

The air was stiff with finality as the sound of him harshly closing your door reverberated off the walls. As soon as he was gone, you crumpled to the floor and hugged your knees to your chest, and you purged yourself of the tears and frustration. Sobs wracked your body as you thought back on everything that had just happened, and how much it hurt you that Seungmin couldn’t just tell you what you needed to hear. You just needed to know that your relationship was worth making time for to him, but he did little to reassure you. 

The feeling of Seungmin’s absence was overwhelming, and you couldn’t do anything to ease the sense of dread from the thought of losing him. You felt as weak as a puddle on the floor as you cried until you could only hiccup, and your head was pounding. You mustered up the strength you could to get yourself up only to bury yourself under the covers in your bed to block out the rest of the world. Not even sleep offered you comfort as your dreams were plagued with memories shared with Seungmin. 

~~~

Seungmin and you were alike in so many ways that he made you believe in twin flames and soulmates. You both have the same way of thinking, you both reach the same conclusions, and overall you both just have the same perspective. You understood each other on a level that you had never felt understood with anyone else, but it also meant you shared the same flaws. Right now, you were worried that being such mirrored souls would be what caused the end of your relationship. 

You were both stubborn and hated admitting when you were wrong, so making up after a fight was always another struggle until eventually you both caved in. This fight had been different though. When you and Seungmin had parted ways, you weren’t even sure if there was still a relationship to be mended. You were hesitant to reach out as you replayed the argument in your head, but the moment that stuck with you the most was the look in Seungmin’s eyes before he walked out, making you doubt if he even wanted you to reach out. So you waited, and when a week went by without communication, you were feeling like you had your answer. 

You had just been going through the motions of life ever since then, and if you did feel something other than miserable, it was just numb. With each day that passed that your and Seungmin’s relationship was still in the air, you felt that hope slipping further and further away from you that it was just another bump in the road. You had been with him for over a year, and you couldn’t just forget the plans and promises you made together. For the first time, you had wanted it forever. 

Some of the members had guessed that something was wrong between you and Seungmin with how long he was staying at the dorm and tried to check up on you, but you didn’t have the energy. You were just tired, and everyday you came home and crawled right back into bed, hoping to finally get some proper rest. However, your heart didn’t agree with your head as it couldn’t stop waiting for Seungmin until your eyes welled with tears and spilled down your cheeks. That’s where you were when you heard another knock on your door, and you groaned as you dragged yourself out of bed. Assuming it was one of the members again, you quickly tried your best to make yourself look presentable. 

You took a deep breath to open the door, only to have it stolen by who greeted you on the other side. “Seungmin?” You asked tentatively, your voice barely a whisper, almost afraid that he was just a mirage curated to console your heart ache. 

“Bubs,” he said, voice just as delicate and wavering slightly. The pet name made you feel a pang of sadness in your chest, but also a sense of relief in the same moment. He took a shaky breath, “can we… can we talk?” He looked up through his bangs with wide, pleading eyes and a tilt of his head that made him look like a wounded puppy. 

All you could do was nod and step aside to let him in, still trying to process he was here, and you felt a sliver of hope for the first time since he walked out. You softly closed the door and took a second to gather your courage as you turned to face him. You crossed your arms over your chest, waiting for him to continue, but you could tell that he was nervous from his hands fidgeting with the hem of his t-shirt. When his eyes met yours again, they looked tired and sad. 

He looked as afflicted as you felt inside, and you wondered if he’s been going through the same struggle as you had this week. “I’m… I’m sorry,” he started, shoulders slumping as he looked deflated. “I know I haven’t been the best boyfriend lately, and I’m sorry for not listening to you.” His eyebrows were furrowed and lips parted as he collected himself to continue. “But I meant it when I said you were important to me, and if you forgive me…” He took a cautious step towards you and gently took your hand in his, “I’ll do everything that I can to prove that to you. I love you, Y/n. Please forgive me?” His voice slightly cracked as he asked you the question, looking up at you with tears welling in his eyes. 

“I love you too,” you said softly, looking back at him with round, vulnerable eyes. The corners of his mouth turned up a little in a small smile, and your heart picked up pace with how much you’ve missed him. “I want to make this work with you.” 

At your words, he pulled you into a tight embrace, and your body fit perfectly against his as he wrapped his arms securely around you. He cradled your head softly with his fingers tangling in your hair, and you buried yourself in his neck, letting his comforting scent wash over you. He let out a shaky breath, and you felt his body shiver against you as he laughed in relief, “I want to make this work too, more than anything. I can’t lose you, bubs.” His voice was still raspy with emotion. 

You pulled back to gaze into his eyes again, seeing nothing but love filling in the deep dark depths of them. You cupped the sides of his face with both hands, “never.” You reassured him before leaning in to give him a sweet, tender kiss on his soft lips, conveying all the love and longing you have felt. It was balm for your soul as you felt him kiss you back, warm hands gripping your waist with a familiarity that you craved. You finally felt peace in his arms, knowing this wasn’t the fight that ended everything, but the one that would make everything stronger in the end. 

[scoobydoodean]

Hi im a samgirl and i dont mind if others feel differently about this but if you are interested in a samgirl perspective, the short story to sam's allegorical queerness is that sam grew up feeling fundamentally different from his family. He felt that there was something dirty or unclean about himself which is how a lot of marginalized queer children feel growing up. It's not that queerness itself is monstrous but that society and the patriarchal family unit will cast queerness as the monstrous Other, which is why monstrosity is a pretty common queer allegory.

I keep getting asks about queer Sam and I'm not sure exactly why, other than people maybe assume I have a strong opinion about it. The simple truth is that I just don't find what's said about it compelling so it doesn't interest me. I have no issue with other people exploring it and don't have any desire to ruin anyone's fun. It's just that I don't personally see it when I dig deeper than the surface level of "he felt different" and examine why and exactly what Sam actually wanted and why he felt that way. I will get into that here to an extent I guess because I was asked in another piece of mail what my opinions were, but I don't intend it as an "argument" to start a fight or to dismantle anyone else's perception—just an explanation of my personal lack of interest in this particular type of meta.

First, I don't think "Sam grew up feeling fundamentally different from his family" works for me as a queer meta when the reason Sam felt "fundamentally different" was that—according to his own early framing—he was the normal one trapped in a family of freaks who wanted him to be a freak like them.

Sam says in 1.08 that he felt different from Dean and John, but when we read on to see why, he says it's because he wanted to play soccer instead of being a child soldier.

SAM Because I didn't wanna bowhunt or hustle pool - because I wanted to go to school and live my life, which, to our whacked-out family, made me the freak. DEAN Yeah, you were kind of like the blonde chick in The Munsters.

For people too young to get "the blonde chick in The Munsters", Dean is referring to Marilyn Munster, who was the one "normal" person in a family of monsters in a 1960s sitcom.

In childhood flashbacks in 4.13, Sam refuses to fight Dirk at first even though he could easily best him using the skills he learned from their father.

YOUNG DEAN That's right, you don't. You could have torn him apart. So why didn't you? YOUNG SAM Because I don't want to be the freak for once, Dean. I want to be normal.

In both situations, Sam views his family and what they do as freakish and wants to distinguish himself as the one normal one trapped in a family of monsters who is at threat of becoming like them by pure association and family pressure.

YOUNG SAM Yeah, my, aah -- my dad's a mechanic. So I have to be a mechanic, too. MR. WYATT Do you want to go in the family business, Sam? YOUNG SAM No one's ever asked me that before. MR. WYATT Well? YOUNG SAM More than anything, no.

In 5.16 Dark Side of the Moon, one of Sam's greatest childhood memories is getting to sit down for Thanksgiving dinner in a normal, upper middle class household instead of sitting around with "A bucket of extra-crispy and Dad passed out on the couch."

In 1.01, he says he wants to be nothing like his family. He says he is normal unlike them when Dean is telling him they're the same:

DEAN You can pretend all you want, Sammy. But sooner or later you're going to have to face up to who you really are. SAM And who's that? DEAN You're one of us. SAM No. I'm not like you. This is not going to be my life.

Sam sees the upbringing that he has in common with Dean as something almost... humiliating—to the point that he plans to lie to Jess forever about how he was raised and about his family (1.01).

All of this to say... when the queer allegory I'm being sold is that a guy is queer because he wants to go to college, get married, have 2.5 kids, go no contact with his brother (because Dean isn't normal like him?), and lie about his family to his friends because the idea of them knowing he didn't grow up normal is embarrassing... I don't feel like I'm reading a queer allegory. I'd be more likely to think that if anything, I'm reading a comedy from the POV of "the token straight" who initially functions (in the Pilot) as the "normal" character to introduce the "normal" audience to an "abnormal" world in a relatable, palatable way.

That said, when we embrace the fact that the Winchesters are a family of freaks, there is an easy counterpoint here which is that Sam's attitude in the beginning of the series represents being closeted and desperately trying to assimilate with normal society and be perceived as just like everybody else... and his freak family is in the way. In this case, Sam knows deep down that he is like his family (i.e. queer) but desperately wishes he wasn't so that he could fit in. Given that I'm a big believer in Sam being a hunter through and through despite his occasional denials, I find this much more compelling than the argument that Sam feeling othered in his family because he sees himself (at least at first) as the one normal one makes him queer.

*One of you shaking me back and forth*

"But PK—WHAT ABOUT THE DEMON BLOOD?!?!"

Yeah yeah yeah. While it doesn't start out that way, eventually, Sam does reflect on his childhood and see himself as Megamind instead of Marilyn Munster. This is retroactive though (in my opinion. I do not actually believe Sam could "sense" his dormant powers) after finding out that Azazel dropped blood into his mouth when he was a baby. Instead of feeling like the normal one in a family of freaks, Sam starts to feel like the biggest freak in the family, and Dean's "I'm a freak too" suddenly feels like platitudes. Dean—whose calls Sam didn't pick up for years—starts to seem like the normal one—the good one—between them. Dean is the hero character, the righteous man, the sword of heaven... and Sam thinks in his worst moments that he is someone Hero!Dean should be duty bound to kill (2.11). These are all feelings that (again—in my opinion) develop later. I talk about Sam's feelings of otherness and why he actually had those feelings and how I think the demon blood erroneously comes into play as an explanation for his insecurities here.

I think it probably also makes sense to mention here that the idea that Sam was treated as a monster by his family is very very overstated by portions of fandom. I'm not saying Sam never had reason to feel different or othered or unloved or neglected—he absolutely did (as did Dean). I am saying that people like to write about things that never actually happened when they talk about how Sam was treated growing up. Sam felt different from his family because John let Dean start hunting when he was younger than Sam, then he felt different because he wanted to play soccer and go to school while John wanted him to hunt, and because he thought Dean enjoyed being a parentified child and being raised like a soldier and Sam didn't. Retroactively, Sam feels different when he finds out he has powers. These do not develop until he is an adult, and it is never indicated to us that John knew about any of this when Sam was growing up—much less treated him differently growing up because of it. Retroactively, Sam believes Dean sees him as a freak for having visions even though Dean repeatedly treats his visions as no big deal and psychics are an accepted and trusted group within the hunter community (see: Missouri, Pam, Fred). Retroactively, Sam feels different because he was fed blood as a baby. He did not know this until he was an adult, and neither did Dean, as far as we know, neither did John. Sam never believes that Dean would act on John's last whispered command (that again—does not transpire until Sam is an adult) to the point that he repeatedly tries to guilt Dean into promises to follow through and carry out John's will. Retroactively, Sam feels like a freak in season 4 because Sam chooses to drink a completely different demon's blood of his own free will and develop a completely new power set and Dean doesn't think it's a good thing.

TL;DR Sam did not grow up being treated as the monstrous other by his dad and brother. He grew up as an understandably rebellious kid whose dad was a neglectful asshole and a drill sergeant, and he hated being dragged from place to place with no say. He felt different because he stood in contrast to a brother who tried his best to keep the peace because experience taught Dean that refusing to obey would get people killed (1.18), John would send Dean away if Dean gave him lip (14.12), and Dean felt he had to be there to take care of Sam and John (1.06).

More or less, these are the reasons I don't find the queer Sam metas I have stumbled across particularly compelling (along with—imo—Jared's lack of romantic chemistry with other men). At the same time, people seeing Sam as queer or not queer doesn't bother me. I am not trying to "take away" that interpretation from anyone else (as if I even could). I'm just not interested.

[sharksnshakes]

New Perspective- Leon Kennedy

After losing a bet with friend and fellow DSO agent Leon Kennedy, he takes you for a ride on his motorcycle. Unforeseen consequences include windburn, watery eyes, and maybe developing a crush on him. Maybe.

AN; so i'm back with another installation of bestie leon wanting to be more than besties. you can read as a continuation of this one, anyways post-re2 leon is still on the brain and likely will be forever

Wordcount; 1.1k

TW; mentions of a potential motorcycle crash, mildly suggestive

Never again are you making a bet with Leon Kennedy.

"What were the terms again? Five minutes?" He asks, a shit eating grin on his face.

You speak through gritted teeth. "Yeah. Five."

Leon's grin widens.

"Shut up," you say halfheartedly, warily glancing down at the motorcycle you're both perched on.

"Didn't say anything, sweetheart."

You roll your eyes and zip your jacket up.

You're not sure how Leon's bike is supposed to safely carry you at all, let alone through busy downtown streets, without throwing one of you off or blowing up or spinning out of control or something. Suffice to say, you're not a fan of motorcycles--Leon knew that when you'd made the bet, and you'd only agreed because you'd been so certain that you'd win. Why else risk life and limb on the back of his Ducati?

That was the thing about Leon Kennedy and bets, though, because you've come to realize that he's got a way of winning regardless of how the odds are stacked. It's great for field work, but it's also a massive pain in your ass, because (news flash) you lost and now you'll have to endure a five minute ride on his death trap of a motorcycle.

"Let's get it over with," you sigh, looping your arms around his waist. The engine purrs beneath you, sending a shudder through your body.

"Y'know," he muses, and you can hear the grin in his voice, "I bet I could do a wheelie."

You laugh, you hope he doesn't feel the slight tremble in your hands, you hope he can't hear the nervous twinge to your voice. "Absolutely fucking not."

He drives slowly through the parking garage. Most DSO staff have already left for the night, and it's probably better that way, because the last thing the two of you need is for a hotshot supervisor to call you out on your antics. Meaning Hunnigan. Because if Hunnigan saw that neither of you were working on the literal mounds of paperwork gracing your desks, she'd probably hit you with a Jeep.

"Might wanna hold on tighter than that," Leon says offhandedly, revving the engine as you approach the street entrance.

"I'm not your backpack, Kennedy."

He chuckles. "Didn't think you'd know the lingo."

"You know that nobody says 'lingo' anymore, right? This is why Claire says you sound like an old man."

"Well, suit yourself," he shrugs, and suddenly you're rocketing into traffic.

You curse violently, digging your fingers into Leon's sides hard enough to bruise. You swear you feel him laughing, but you can't hear a damn thing over the engine and you're more focused on not falling into oncoming traffic.

"Fuck you, Kennedy," you mumble against his leather jacket, your eyes tightly shut.

The agent banks around a turn and you just barely hold back another string of curses. As his body shifts in the seat, you can feel the muscles in his sides stretch and shift and move beneath your fingers, and, wow, he's built, and now your cheeks are pricking with heat. You try not to think about it.

"You okay back there?" Leon calls, bringing the bike to a slow stop at a red light.

"Haven't decided yet?"

"Well, lucky for you, we're at-" he stops, glancing quickly at his watch. "-The two minute mark. Only three to go."

"Technically," you say, peeling yourself off of his back, "It's already been five, if you factor in the drive from the parking garage. So I say we head back."

He casts a glance over his shoulder at you, a smile playing across his lips. "That wasn't the deal, sweetheart."

"Would you quit with the 'sweetheart'?"

"You'd prefer 'backpack', then?"

"I'd prefer nothing, actually," you tease back, even though a tiny voice in your head riots at the thought. This banter with Leon is nothing new. You go back and forth like this in the office, on jobs, whenever, but perched on the back of Leon's bike has you feeling like you've crossed a line with the teasing somehow, like maybe he's actually flirting with you and maybe you're not actually minding it.

"Yeah, well..." The light changes to green. "Nevermind. Hang on, yeah?"

This time, you're feeling brave enough to divert some of your attention from clinging to Leon like your life depends on it, and instead you glance to the sides and take in the bustling downtown scene around you.

The sun's just barely set, casting a dusky haze over the streets. Pedestrians clog the sidewalk, passing through pools of golden lamp-post light; some duck into stores, some leave their apartments, some walk their dogs. You pass a restaurant with outdoor seating, a bookstore, a bank, and you've seen all of these places before on your daily commute, but the back of Leon's motorcycle is affording you a new perspective.

You turn your head to look at the other side of the street and catch a waft of Leon's cologne in the process. It's faint, but distinctly him. It's enough to bring the tiny voice in the back of your head to center stage, where it drenches the situation in rosy colors and 'what if's and 'sweethearts', grabbing you by the shoulders and practically injecting fantasized scenarios into your head. Everything from grocery shopping to painting your living room to getting in bed--

Oh, fuck, are you being a creep?

"Just another minute!" Leon shouts.

You nod against his back and swallow with a dry mouth. Your cheeks are flushed, you can feel it, and you hope you'll be able to play it off as windburn. The last minute of your ride is spent not unlike the first: with eyes slammed shut, ignoring Leon's heartbeat at your chest and ignoring the way your own heart whispers that there's more to be had here than just a friendship.

When Leon finally parks the bike in the garage and cuts the engine, your chest unclenches. Your five minutes are over and you are never getting on a motorcycle again.

The blond helps you off, looking far too amused.

"So, sweetheart... you liked the ride, yeah?" He raises his brows at you suggestively, but it's so exaggerated that you're positive he's just doing this on purpose.

You still nearly choke on your spit.

All the way back to the office, the two of you go back and forth over whether the Ducati's evil and dangerous and a horrible investment. He's laughing, insisting it isn't necessarily deadly, and you keep laughing incredulously and saying that's not a strong argument. Things feel normal again, and you've effectively written off the tiny voice in the back of your head as a bizarre, anxiety-induced response to your first and last ride on a motorcycle.

But his hand lingers on your shoulder for a little too long when you say you're heading out for the night, and after the rapid-fire scenarios that flashed through your head on that goddamned bike, you're not so sure you got rid of that tiny voice after all.

[mxtxfanatic]

I would also like the mdzs fandom to stop inventing turmoil between Jiang Fengmian and Jiang Yanli just because Jiang Fengmian had a strained relationship with Jiang Cheng. There’s nothing to say that the father-daughter duo had issues, that Jiang Fengmian was neglectful (to either of them, tbh), or that he was indifferent to his daughter's presence. You feeling like Jiang Yanli is disappeared into the background of her family life because she, like her father, doesn't have a lot of scenes is not supported by the canon. While we don’t get a lot of interactions between them (because there is literally no plot or conflict to highlight), what we do get is Jiang Fengmian sticking up for his daughter and terminating a marriage contract that his abusive wife set up, something even Jin Guangshan was afraid to do:

[Jiang Fengmian] told Jin Guangshan, “The engagement was originally made at the insistence of Ah-Li’s mother. I never agreed with it. Given what happened today, it seems both sides aren’t very fond of each other, so it’s best not to force the issue.” Startled, Jin Guangshan hesitated a bit. Regardless of the situation, ending an engagement with a member of another Great Clan was never a good thing. “What do children understand? Let them fight. Fengmian-xiong, we need not take notice.” “Jin-xiong, though we can help them arrange a marriage, we can’t live the marriage for them. In the end, they are the ones who will spend their lives together.” This marriage business wasn’t Jin Guangshan’s idea in the first place either. From the perspective of consolidating power through a marriage alliance, the Yunmeng Jiang Clan would not be his first choice, nor was it the best choice. The engagement had happened only because he was perpetually afraid of opposing his wife. But in any case, since the Jiang Clan had brought it up of their own accord, and Jin Clan was on the male side of the arrangement and thus had fewer things to be concerned about, it was not necessary to remain entangled. Besides, he knew Jin Zixuan wasn’t happy with having Jiang Yanli as his fiancée. After giving it serious consideration, Jin Guangshan found his backbone and he agreed.

—Chapt. 18: Elegance VIII, fanyiyi

We get him hand-making kites with her to decorate for Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, and the rest of the disciples to play with:

Back when Wei Wuxian lived at Lotus Pier, he had played the kite shooting game with the disciples of the Jiang Clan and had placed first many times. ... Jiang Fengmian had constructed the frame himself and Jiang Yanli had drawn the design. Thus, whenever Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng had taken their kites out to compete, they had felt a kind of pride.

—Chapt. 32: Morning Dew V, fanyiyi

We get them having family dinners often enough that Wei Wuxian seems worried that he would miss one right before the Wen show up to Lotus Pier:

Wei WuXian asked, “Uncle Jiang went out so early in the morning —why hasn’t he come back yet? Would he make it in time for dinner?”

—Chapt. 57: Poisons, exr

We get him having no qualms with Jiang Yanli's hobbies such as cooking, even seems eager to partake in her creations—if we assume he hasn't before:

With a smile, Jiang YanLi wiped Wei WuXian’s mouth and chin, and walked happily out with the bowl in her hands. Jiang FengMian sat down where she had been sitting. Glancing at the porcelain jar, he seemed as if he wanted to taste it as well, but the bowl had already been taken away by Jiang YanLi.

—Chapt. 56: Poisons, exr

The reason why Jiang Cheng thinks his father hates him is because he takes any whiff of disapproval from his father to mean hatred, a trait he picked up from and that is nourished by his mother's own insistence that Jiang Fengmian "must" hate her son for being like her:

The founder of the YunmengJiang Sect, Jiang Chi, was born a rogue cultivator. The ways of the sect were honest and unrestrained. Madam Yu’s manners were the exact opposite. And, both Jiang Cheng’s looks and personality took after his mother. He hadn’t ever been to Jiang FengMian’s liking. Since birth, he taught him in many ways, yet he still couldn’t change, which was why Jiang FengMian had always seemed as though he didn’t favor him too much.

—Chapt. 56: Poisons, exr

The founding father of the Jiang Clan of Yunmeng, Jiang Chi, came from a knight-errant background. The family was exuberant, honest, magnanimous, and carefree in its ways —all of which were in complete opposition to Madam Yu’s spirit. Jiang Cheng took after his mother in looks and personality, which had never been to Jiang Fengmian’s liking. He had tried to educate Jiang Cheng in a myriad of ways, but it had all been for naught. This was why it always appeared as though he didn’t favor his son.

—Volume 3, Chapt. 12: Sandu: The Three Poisons, 7seas

Notice how it doesn't say that Jiang Cheng, himself, was never to Jiang Fengmian's liking, but that Madam Yu and her personality type that Jiang Cheng inherited was never to his liking, and it only "seemed/appeared" that Jiang Fengmian did not favor his son because he spent a lot of time trying to correct Jiang Cheng's bad habits, something Jiang Cheng resented. Notice how it also does not say that Jiang Fengmian avoided or ignored his son. In fact, we are told that he tried different ways to teach Jiang Cheng, a futile action we see him still committed to even up to the fall of Lotus Pier. Jiang Fengmian never gave up on his son. Jiang Cheng gave up on himself as Jiang Fengmian's son. None of that has to do with how the Jiang Fengmian and Jiang Yanli interacted in life nor how Jiang Yanli felt about her parents in death, still visiting their tablets regularly to clean and talk to them:

Jiang YanLi was kneeling in the ancestral hall. She cleaned her parents’ memorial tablets as she whispered. Wei WuXian poked his head inside, “Shijie? Talking to Uncle Jiang and Madam Yu again?”

—Chapt. 71: Departure, exr

To say that Jiang Fengmian is a terrible father simply because Jiang Cheng is more comfortable believing his mother’s lies than understanding that unconditional love does not mean unconditional tolerance for poor behavior does Jiang Fengmian’s character a disservice. To say that Jiang Fengmian is a terrible father to Jiang Yanli based on Madam Yu and Jiang Cheng’s own fantasies of victimhood is just an extra unnecessary lie to give credence to an idea that the story proves untrue. At worst, Jiang Fengmian was a man reserved in physical displays of affection that could have stood to hug his son more if that was what Jiang Cheng truly wanted. But if we are being truthful, Jiang Fengmian's just a regular fucking guy juggling raising kids and leading a clan with deterring his abusive wife from turning his home into a battlefield any time she deigns to show her face. Whatever issue you think Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng should have with their upbringing, the locus of the problem is named Yu Ziyuan, not Jiang Fengmian.

[starillusion13]

Hello! I love your writing!! I saw that your requests are open so I would like to ask what type of outfit would attract and turn on ateez members👀

Imagines...

These are just my thoughts, you might can agree and disagree at some point in your perspective but knowing them since predebut, this is my opinion on their likings and nature. But honestly, I was really imagining myself while writing this like how would I dress up if I ever get to meet them personally lol. i'm being too much delulu right now. I need some serious therapy.

Hongjoong

The man who is in love with passionate and hardworking girls rather you can say, a dedicated woman. He loves the way if you are always dressed up fashionably according to the occasion. If you are wearing a tight short dress or a long body-hugging slit gown for a night party or business meeting party then you should have to feel under watch. He would steal glances of you now and then and would keep you by his side and whisper some good and nasty compliments, to let others know how to keep their eyes off from you as you are taken by him. He would try to maintain a proper image in front of everyone with a wide toothy grin but behind the sly smirk is how he thinks of bending you in-front of the mirror and see you falling apart in that classy dress. Also, his soft side would get attracted if you wear any clothes and shoes designed by him, like the designer jackets which will make him proud that you are appreciating his hobbies and he would secretly click your pictures in it.

Seonghwa

Oh, a sweet personality who has always this adoration and awe in his eyes whenever he gets a glimpse of you. He loves a person who is a very soft aesthetic and dress up femininely. Wearing cute skirts or frocks like summer dress or casual wears. He would find you the most beautiful one in these outfits. He likes the way your dress flows with the light breeze and a bright smile adorning your face which brings a small smile on his face. He would hold your hand and feel himself the most luckiest one to have you and would try to help you in every other household chores so that you don’t look exhausted and can spend sweet times with him. But, it’s not always about this sweet romance as he might sometimes lose control to see you cooking and back hugging you in the kitchen in those frocks and well, he would bring the heaven to the kitchen counter.

Yunho

A tall handsome who doesn’t know how to keep his eyes off from you. He just finds you attractive in anything. He is like a hopeless lover and feels so happy just to see you holding his big hands with your cute little hands. Maybe, he likes you the most when you wear skirts as he would swiftly lift you up in his arms and place you on his lap, you placing your hands around his neck and both having beautiful smile on your faces. His one hand would caress your face and the other would going up and down your bare thighs. He loves the way you look so vulnerable in those cute skirt and top that it’s very difficult for him to leave you alone. Your every small shifting on his lap makes him hard and painful but no matter what he just wants to keep those cute skirts on you, rest everything off. Theres one more thing that attracts him more is you in his big clothes as you looked like a kitten dumped under the pile of clothes and he would coo and hug you all the day.

Yeosang

Well, he might be of two types. His one personality like you in some cute outfits which are totally like frocks and skirts and sweetly hold your hand and compliments here and there. He would often try to match his outfits with you and let you buy couple wears to let others know to whom you actually belong. His sweet demeanour is far to recognise that’s hiding a demon of possessiveness. He is very shy whenever he tells you about his favourite skirt or dress that looks absolutely beautiful on you. He loves it more whenever there are some cute floral or pattern designs on the dress. But if the dress is looking too sexy on you then just expect his other personality, his fingers inside of you as he would love to see you making little noises in those cute outfits. He just loves you so much so he doesn’t know how to really appreciate you in the dress so he sometimes tries to make a drawing of yours and you secretly keep it treasured in your closet.

San

He just can’t keep his hands off to himself whenever you are around him. He loves to see you in classy outfits where he can proudly present you as his partner to everyone. He has this side where he wants to see you in all elegant and classy and people admiring you for your beauty and success but he also loves your silly side. So, You in any elegant outfits might make him go crazy for you as he would definitely bring you to his parents to arrange for a wedding the next day. Speaking of turning him on, maybe if you are a very confident woman in a classy dress approach him but acts all shy during the conversation with him closely, it might turn your planned day into something else. Maybe his hands and minds both will be somewhere else unlike other times. Welcome the demon inside the sweet man.

Mingi

Tight outfits will make him hold you tightly against his body. Anything that highlighting your curves and hugging your body perfectly would turn him on. His here and there light touches and patting your head with a smile as if letting the others around him know that even if they are looking at you but you are only for him to touch and desire. Licking his lips and staring at you while you sexily sits across him on a sofa when you both have gone for a dine out would make it so hard for him to not drag you home and see you fall apart. But apart from this, he has a soft side which is majorly available the whole day, he is just always whiny for your attention so if you are wearing his favourite outfits then it might make him too soft for you to handle. He might also like baggy clothes on you sometimes as he thinks those look cute on you.

Wooyoung

He is such a Loverboy that he will always let you know about his likings and love for you. As usual, you both first met in the dance studio so that’s the very first thing he liked about you being having the same passion as his and you in the dance practice fits like a tank top or crop tops with sweat pants is the weakest point for him. He loves you in those funky outfits or tomboy-ish clothes but would definitely love anything which gives off an aura of dominance from you. Simply, those just turns him on even if you both are in public. Sometimes, you jokingly wear his clothes especially those hoodies as they are very much comfortable but to him, he wants you to always wear his clothes and maybe do all the nasty things that coming across his mind at the moment.

Jongho

He will never let you know that he loves you in your classy work outfits. Yes, this man is very reserve but a cute lover if you know him after spending 24/7 with him. Every morning whenever you are wearing those straight pants with a plain shirt or solid top , or maybe like a knee length skirt and blazer outfit. OH GOSH, have mercy on the man as he would be staring a bit too obvious that you have to raise your eyebrows and ask him continuously if you would change it or anything wrong with your look. He will wave it off as nothing or swiftly sing few lines for you to make you smile but inside his head the only thing is going on that why it is necessary for you to appear such perfectly for the meetings where all the eyes will be on you and he would not be there to glare them off. Lastly, he might just love you in outfits which are not too much revealing.

[ Please let me know if you like this sort of imagines, this is really my first time doing this sort of writings so idk how it turned out but I had fun. I want to make a NCT ver. on this so badly. Aldo, the other requests are in the queue to be posted soon. wait patiently babygorls, I'm back with all my out of world imaginations..... ]

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades [open!]

[sea-owl]

I was just thinking about the whole Debling vs Colin thing and I kinda wanted to point this out.

Debling and Colin are actually both perfect for Penelope but different sides to her.

Debling is Lady Whistledown's perfect match while Colin is Penelope's perfect match.

Debling has work he leaves for years to do, passions that take up more of his heart than any living human would. He left behind his own family who he says never understood him but that's all we know. He wants a wife to take care of the estate and the home front. He doesn't read Whistledown, meaning he won't ever see any similarities between Penelope's writing and Lady Whistledown's. If Penelope was truly Lady Whistledown all the time like the switch was flipped and never turned off, then this is a perfect life for her. On her own, left alone, and can run her business without interference. If she wants, she can fudge the numbers a little bit to hide some of her own money away in the estate. She'll have children one day that she'll love. She will be secured. She will also continue the status quo of her life before of being alone in her own home, and I would make the argument becoming more like Portia as time would go on. Now, don't get me wrong. Debling is a good man, but he is also Lord Featherington in a different font. Penelope already knows what life with Lord Debling would look like she's seen it in her parents' marriage, in her father. Lord Featherington put his own passions before his family as well, and while he never physically left, that man completely dissociated around his family. Again this type of life would be perfect for Lady Whistledown but Penelope rightfully so hesitates.

Colin, on the other hand, while he has his own passions, will still put someone he loves first. He's willing to be there to support them if they need it. He has a close bond with his family and wants to open that bond to any potential spouse that may be folded in. Once he knows his feelings, he's not afraid to show them. He's affectionate and sensitive to others. He also I noticed forgives rather quickly meaning he has the ability to see from someone else's perspective. This is someone Penelope has dreamed of for years, and frankly kind of needs. She's been emotionally starved of affection and never has seen or heard acts of love outside the few she's had from the Bridgertons. She was raised on tough love and never really shown softness before. Colin can give her that softness, that love, and happiness. But Colin is also a horrible match for Lady Whistledown. He is always in Penelope's business and space, and if not him, another member of his family would be. All in good faith, they watch out for one another, but it would make Penelope's absence a lot more noticeable. Penelope will also be shoved in the spotlight as well marrying in and while she has craved the potential change it makes her work much harder. His disdain for Whistledown as well has been well spoken to others. He also potentially has the clues to piece together Penelope's identity. He has her letters and Lasy Whistledown is not hard to get either. If Penelope accidentally made any mistakes in either writings, like similar phrasing or she reused something from his letters in Whistledown he could clue it together. He will most likely be angry at first but I also think given time to cool off he be willing to hear her out. He's already shown he's not afraid to fight for her so what's one more round?

And the funny thing is Colin has the potential to be Lady Whistledown's match as well. He's a good writer and has been shown to engage in gossip, too. He moves fluidly around the ton, charming them and easily communicating with them. His strengths compliment can help boost where Penelope has a weakness. They can very easily become true partners, Lord and Lady Whistledown. We first just have to get Colin to warm up to the idea.

[teeny-tiny-revenge]

Look, when Ed leaves with Jack it isn't Ed choosing Jack over Stede as the better partner/love interest. This is what Stede thinks is happening. Stede hasn't even entirely admitted to himself at this point that his investment in Ed is romantic, but he does treat it as a breakup, he sees Jack as a rival for Ed's attention/love, so from Stede's perspective, yes, Ed is leaving him for Jack.

Stede thinks he is in the romance novel plot and has to compete with his love interest's ex for his affections.

This is also what Jack is intending to make Stede feel.

Jack is playing a con. He is actively working towards Stede coming to the conclusion that Love Triangle Business is happening, but Jack's motivation isn't winning back Ed as a boyfriend from Stede. I don't think Jack does boyfriends. Jack does dalliances. He would probably agree with Lucius's "we don't own each other". And this would apply if Jack happened to randomly come across the Revenge and decide to fuck with Ed's new crush for kicks and giggles (which is what Anne and Mary do when in that situation!). But Jack doesn't come across the Revenge by accident. He is on a mission, given to him by Izzy. We don't know if Jack gets paid for it or if he does it because he's worried about Ed and doesn't want the Navy to get him, or some combination of both, but Jack is the only one in this equation who actually knows what is happening, and what is happening is a plan to drive a wedge between Ed and Stede to make Ed leave the Revenge so he's out of the picture when the Navy shows up.

But neither of this is what's going on from Ed's perspective. (This entire episode is a masterpiece in the "characters completely misunderstanding each other and what's going on" trope.) Ed doesn't really figure that he's been cast as the pivotal point of a love triangle. Ed isn't spending the episode trying to choose the better boyfriend candidate and then leaving with him.

Ed is busy having a personal identity crisis.

This crisis has been ongoing for a while when Jack shows up. With Izzy's pressure to pirate a certain way gone, Ed is freer to explore what Ed wants to do now and how he wants to live and who he wants to be. He is tired of the traditional pirate life, he wants to try something different. He also isn't ready to fully do a hard cut. He just figured out Stede might return his feelings during the treasure hunt. They just decided to co-captain. A lot of things are changing for Ed.

And then comes by a very old pal. Jack and Ed have history, they used to sail together, they survived their difficult youth under a cruel captain together. Jack represents a different type of pirate life than Izzy. Jack is fun. (Everyone but Stede thinks Jack is fun, and that's in no small parts because Jack is actively working towards making Stede uncomfortable but everyone else have fun and take Jack's side - this works on everyone in the crew including Ed!)

From the beginning on, Ed is struggling to make Stede and Jack get along and like each other. He's trying to somehow combine his old life and his new life because he doesn't want to choose between one of them. He wants to have the best of both worlds. He wants his old friend and his new friend/his ex and his crush to be friends and get along. He wants to keep what was fun about traditional piracy (as represented by Jack) but also move on to Stede's new brand of doing things. He wants fancy breakfasts, and then has to realise that Jack pours alcohol into his teacup. He wants to play coconut war like the old times, but has to realise Stede hates the idea. A big part of this episode, from Ed's perspective, is about trying to reconcile these two worlds and failing.

Ed's main problem, through both seasons, is that he doesn't really know who he is or who he wants to be. He struggles massively with self-worth and self image. He views himself as an unlovable monster and spends his entire life bending over backwards and wearing masks to cater to what he thinks other people want him to be. He plays up Blackbeard for Izzy, Blackie for Jack, and he isn't sure if who he is being with Stede is actually Ed or not. Ed thinks nobody can possibly like him, so he constantly tries to perform to whatever expectation his direct peers have of him.

Next to this main crisis, Ed is having another secondary crisis called "fuck I'm in love with this guy" and "does my crush like me back". This secondary crisis is heavily influenced by the first, because Ed thinks he is a terrible unlovable person, remember, so "does this guy who I think is the bee's knees return my feelings" becomes a lot more fraud than it would be for a person with a modicum of self-esteem.

Ed, who struggles with "who/what am I as a person", sees Jack as a person who is similar to Ed. They have a lot in common. They share a lot of backstory. They are both pirate captains. They used to do the same things. Ed always played Yardies and Whippies and Turtle Vs Crab, because really that's just pirate culture. The main difference between Jack and Ed is that at some point Ed outgrew this life, and Jack didn't. But Ed, who is bad at recognising himself as a person and to define his identity, is only sorta vaguely aware of that. In Ed's perception, him and Jack are very much alike.

So when Stede, Ed's new friend and crush who he already thinks is too good for someone like Ed, starts rejecting Jack and Jack's behaviour, and says things like "I don't like who you are around this guy", what Ed hears is "I don't like who you are". Ed hears Stede thinks Jack is a bad person, and because in Ed's head a) he and Jack are the same and b) Ed is a bad person anyway, Ed hears "you are a bad person".

"You were always going to realise what I am", says Ed, as he is leaving with Jack after Stede tells Jack to leave the ship. Note the dehumanising "what" instead of "who" Ed used for himself. Ed, who thinks he sucks and is an unlovable monster, thinks this is the other shoe dropping, and he's been waiting for it to drop all along, because someone great like Stede isn't for a guy like Ed. Stede was always going to see what Ed is.

Ed's leaving the Revenge/Stede is 100% down to Ed's abysmal self-worth. It's a self-perception born from childhood trauma that fucks Ed over several times during the show (and ultimately leads to his suicide attempt).

Ed is so busy having All That going on that he mostly fails to notice that Jack is playing him, or what exactly happens between Jack and Stede, that Stede perceives Jack as a romantic rival for Ed's attention/affection or that Stede too struggles with self-worth and that Jack is hitting him where it hurts all the time. Ed's headspace in this episode isn't "oh, two sexy guys I like, which one should I choose to be with". It isn't even "oh my old pal is being a real dick to my new friend who is feeling really insecure here". Ed's headspace is "I'm a terrible person and Stede is seeing it now and Jack wants me to do more pirate party stuff but Stede hates that so now they both hate me and I probably deserve that because I'm a monster".

Ed leaves for Jack as much as Stede an episode later leaves for Mary. It's the exact same situation. For Stede, his own trauma and self-worth issues show up in the form of Chauncey Badminton, telling him he is a monster and ruins beautiful things, and Stede's reaction is to agree because he already thinks that of himself, so he takes his horrible ruinous monster self away from beautiful things (Ed) and back to where it belongs (to a miserable life he was hoping to leave behind). And for Ed, no Chauncey Badminton is required, because he's already constantly thinking these things about himself anyway. From Ed's perspective, Stede tell him he is a bad person (just as Jack), so Ed agrees and takes his horrible self away from beautiful things he doesn't deserve (Stede) to a miserable life he was going to leave behind.

Neither Jack nor Mary actually feature into the leaving much. Neither situation is "leaving the new guy for the ex". They're both situations of "I have a fuckload of trauma and self-hatred and it destroys my actually pretty nice new relationship".

And this is very interesting as a parallel. It doesn't even end there! When Stede returns, and Ed hears where he went, Ed too goes to "you left me for Mary". Same as Stede went to "you left me for Jack". And neither of it is actually what was happening!

Stede doesn't leave Ed for Mary, and Ed doesn't leave Stede for Jack. They both decide, driven by very similar trauma, to leave because surely the other one is going to be better off without them.

[balioc]

Oh, boy! It's Education Theory o'Clock again!

...I have a lot of thoughts on this topic. At some point, when I'm less busy and tired, I should probably try to write them up. Natively, I'm one of the school-is-a-nightmare-prison people, like so many others in this little discourse-sphere -- but I'm married to a middle school teacher, so I regularly encounter both the good arguments from the other side and the facts on the ground, and those things have altered my perspective somewhat.

But I am, in fact, busy and tired. So for now I'll just content myself with saying:

School is an institution that serves many, many, many purposes at the same time. A lot of those purposes are load-bearingly important. (A couple of years ago, I wrote this about college, and...it's double-plus true for primary and secondary schools.) If you don't try to account for all of that stuff in your theory of What School Is and How School Works, you will generate incoherent garbage thoughts. If you have a New Concept for school entailing top-down design that is optimized for a single function (like "increasing test scores" or "causing kids to love learning" or whatever), you'd better have a plan for how you're going to do all the other important things that schools do. And even if you think that some of those things aren't actually important or necessary, you'd better have a plan for dealing with all the people who disagree. Because...

-----

...school, as it exists today, is an inherently political institution. Both in the "soft" sense that everyone has strong opinions about what it's supposed to do and how it's supposed to work, and in the "hard" sense that it is actually controlled by democratically-accountable governments. (This is double-plus true in the US, where it is controlled by local governments, and therefore doesn't even have the protective insulation of a massive bureaucracy.) Everything about the way schools work is a compromise brokered amongst ideologues and self-dealers. Everything about the way schools work involves a lot of decision-makers trying not to get yelled at by the yelliest people around. If you're looking for elegant purpose-driven top-down design, you won't find it. You could probably make a case that any elegant purpose-driven top-down design would be better than the thing we actually have, but getting there would require finding a way to remove the political element.

-----

Most importantly: public schools are (1) compulsory, (2) universal, and (3) for children. [People who are legally children, anyway, whether or not they are actual children in whatever sense matters to you.]

This means that they cannot let students leave, and they have to keep control of all the students that they aren't allowing to leave.

In the most literal not-a-judgment-but-a-fact sense, they are indeed prisons. They are coercively keeping people inside. They have to do that thing, as per their most fundamental mandate within the current system. The alternatives involve letting kids run around unsupervised, and/or failing to give some kids even the most cursory kind of education, and those things are absolute non-starters under present conditions.

All the normal institutions-for-adults operate on the principle of -- If you really don't want to be here, you can leave, and deal with whatever consequences there may be for leaving. This is not an option for schools, and that fact accounts for...everything.

Classroom structure is built around the necessity of keeping the most-hostile, least-engaged student in the class present and supervised, and then trying to prevent him from disrupting things for everyone else. Because the obvious solution that any other institution would use -- "just cut him loose, he doesn't want to be here and we don't want him here" -- isn't available.

(I once talked to my wife about the rationed bathroom access thing, which is one of the most flagrant nightmare-prison aspects of the school experience. Her response was, "If you let kids use the bathroom whenever they want, as much as they want, then you don't have mandatory universal education anymore. Some of them will never return to the classroom, because they don't want to be there." Which is...obviously true.)

So you have something that replicates many of the features of prison, because it has to accomplish the same basic tasks that prison accomplishes. Yay, Foucault.

[nobie]

Neil Gaiman.

I want to say a few things from a journalist perspective. I'm a journalist myself, I needed to get as much information as I could about this news with as much objectivity as I can have.

Tortoise is a UK based media group. They do a lot of multi media investigative reporting (not traditional mmj though more like scripted podcasts, regular podcasts, videos etc.). Their motto, I guess you could call it, is “Get the news not when it happens, but when it’s ready.”

It’s a fine model from a business standpoint, but in the journalism industry, being fast and accurate is what most news organizations strive for. But never hit the mark to be honest. Heavy on the accuracy part. Tortoise is comparable in America to NPR, but NPR is on a far larger scale since Tortoise is still new, being founded in 2019.

The SA allegations became a story from the ground up. There was nothing said about it before yesterday because this story came directly from the women he allegedly assaulted. I know using the word "allegedly" seems like a cheap shot, but it has to be used because none of it has been confirmed by Gaiman. Only that he did in fact have relationships with these two women. But the SA allegations continue to be denied. The reporters and producers at Tortoise media have written an article and created a full four part podcast. They detailed their stories from both women, spoke about SA misconceptions, and gave background on Gaiman and his relationships (relationships meaning sexual and non con acts happening with them so be aware of that).

The podcast, I'm not entirely fond of because a sensitive subject should not be made into a form of "entertainment." But it did give me more information and different perspective on the story. And from the way this podcast is produced you can tell this story was not investigated lightly. It is a bit distasteful, but it has been done before. This is a full production mind you with a beginning, middle, and end. Plus sound effects and dramatic music, so thats why I say I'm not really fond of the idea. Just reporting the entire story with quotes from the victims would've been enough. I can only hope the reporter and producer did their job ethically as to fully understood the allegations and weight of the subject. (They do mention that in the podcast as well, but as a journalist all I do is ask questions so I def had questions.)

Now this goes without saying, but there should never be any doubt that SA is unjustified and horrifying. And one should never disregard the feelings of the victims. Saying anything like "well they shouldn't have put themselves in that situation," is what I mean by disregard. Why would anyone put themselves in that situation?

That line of thinking is why SA is one the biggest ethical topics in media. Should it be reported? Should it not? How do we go about reporting such a sensitive subject objectively? Do we name the victims? Do we name our sources? Have we considered all of the code of ethics in our reporting? What about our personal values?

Journalism code of ethics: Minimizing harm, seek the truth, act independently, take accountability and be transparent. This might be the first time you're seeing these and I know historically it feels like none of this is considered, but I always consider them.

It’s been a battle of my own personal values to have to report events like this with no bias, but it’s necessary for accuracy and integrity in my reporting.

Ethically, as a journalist, I can't choose sides I need to look at it from all sides. But personally, as a human, I can't condone these actions. Nor will I ever condone it. All kinds of things are being said about this news, and everyone is allowed their own opinion. I only wanted to put my perspective out there because it should be another side of the story to understand, considering this came from Tortoise investigating the allegations.

Here is the article and other news sites that have talked about the story from Tortoise. Also gonna link SPJ code of ethics in case you want to read through them.

Tortoise

The allegations against Neil Gaiman (ep.1 on spotify but you can listen anywhere they have podcasts)

The Telegraph

Daily Mail

The Rolling Stones

SPJ Code of Ethics

Also to the Good Omens fandom, I know this is tough news, but you are allowed to still enjoy Good Omens. I know the guilt/shame of enjoying things that are against your morals, but be kind to yourself.

none of this edited so i apologize for any mistakes.

[elysiansparadise]

Hello my sunshine!

I noticed your ask box was open! I'm so happy!

Could you please do an interpretation of Mars in 11H. I have this placement. Thank you.

Have a fantastic day and a wonderful week.

Stay warm and cozy. ❤️

Hello my love, hope you're doing wonderfully. ❤️

Mars in the 11th house

Here we have natives who are more likely to rationalize when something happens that bothers them, they are not usually so impulsive when it comes to reacting and they may want to see things from different perspectives. They are very ambitious people who, once they have a plan or project that they are passionate about, dedicate themselves fully to it and not only think about it, but do something to achieve it. This placement favors those who want to start their own business, as it indicates that they can earn a lot of money working on something of their own or being their own boss. Since I mention bosses, even if they do not like to command, they have leadership skills and ensure what is fair both for themselves and for members of their group or other members of society. They are the voice of those who are marginalized or ignored and many people can feel taken into account by them. They have no problem approaching and talking to other people, in fact some tend to give the impression of being extroverted, but they highly value their time alone and doing things on their own. This is an ambivert placement.

Now talking about friendship, these natives tend to be funny, motivating and supportive friends, they have a curious way of taking care of their friends and they are not initially emotional, but rather take care of them in more practical ways. They may feel more energetic after spending time with friends or a group of people and are sometimes the person they turn to when a difficulty or problem occurs. These natives are those who tell you the truth no matter how painful it is, and honesty is something they value above all things in their friendships. They may attract more friendships with people with masculine energy, protective people, strong temperaments, or people who motivate them in some way. There may be some drama in your circles, arguments, or just having somewhat boisterous friendships. It is very likely that they prefer friends with similar ideas or perspectives in order to maintain a harmonious environment, as they stand out for defending their ideals tooth and nail. They like to defend causes linked to freedom, whether identity or expression, which is why it is a common placement for activists, feminists, people who fight for equal rights or justice for marginalized sectors of society. They have a healthy empathy in which they do not put others above them, but instead seek to understand and support them.

Although these people are open-minded when it comes to meeting many people, it is somewhat difficult for them to open up emotionally, they tend to be really defensive with their emotional world and may feel that they have to appear strong, if accompanied by other aspects of style, it can make them feel difficulty expressing their most vulnerable side. One of the good things about this placement is that they are very firm with their boundaries and do not stay in places where they are crossed or ignored. They would much rather be alone than in bad company and they have no problem with being alone at times. They seek to form friendships with more practical parameters without getting carried away by just feeling happy with the other person. They need friendships in which they feel they can trust and with whom honesty and loyalty is guaranteed, so even if they appear friendly, they remain alert and observant. In the sexual area, these natives are very open and experimental with their partner, they really like to surprise and be surprised in intimacy, and they always make sure not to fall into monotony. They don't just care about their pleasure, for them it is important that their partner also feels pleasure and feels satisfied.

[thelov3lybookworm]

Mine? (Part 8)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

Summary: Oops. She is happy. But is she supposed to be calm when she knows she's gonna get yelled at?

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Word Count: 1333

A/n: okay so ive got the next parts already plotted out, and i will let yall know. theres one more part after this and then an epilogue 🥹

i cant believe this is coming to an end omg stawp 😭

anyways, enjoy!🥹

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Y/n was not dumb enough to think that after asking Grayson to stay, all her problems and worries would leave. Of course not. But she hadn’t even expected it to become so bad.

Every other day, she would just be smiling while watching the love of her life play with their daughter, and then the next moment, she’d be sitting wondering if he was here willingly. Every few days, she'd wonder if he even wanted to stay.

Wondered if he was only here because he wanted to prove to himself that he was a better father than Sheffield grayson.

Did he not mind waking up in the middle of the night sometimes to hold Adelaide when she cried? Did he like living in the same house as Y/n, someone who had tried to take away a part of him?

It was not easy these past two months. But Y/n knew that it was probably just her being insecure, maybe it was her scepticism. Maybe it was the grudge her family still held against him.

Since they found out that Y/n had let Grayson stay with her and Adelaide, they had been quite vocal about their disapproval of her decisions. It frustrated Y/n to no end, but she could also see how it looked from their perspective and knew they just wanted to keep her and their granddaughter safe.

Atleast Y/n was glad her brother didn’t know.

Since she had been born, her older brother, Liam had been a little too protective of her. Every time they played as children, he’d be extra careful so as not to hurt her. Every time they went to the playground or someone would try to approach Y/n to be her friend at school, Liam would scare them away, his gaze hard as he’d then drag his baby sister to play with her.

Y/n had never really understood why he did that. Being a little girl then, she had felt hurt but she also couldn’t stay mad at him at all.

After a particularly bad day, five year old Y/n had exploded and complained to their dad about it. After that Liam had cut her some slack, but still he never let anyone bully her. She could still remember the one time he had punched a boy because he’d pushed Y/n over and she had scraped her knee. She had cried and hugged Liam then, and he’d offered to take her to the ice cream shop if she stopped sobbing.

She loved the idiot of course, but she had to admit, he was protective to a fault.

He was currently on a business trip to New York and had been for over two months now. Apparently the business over there needed his attention. Her parents told her they weren’t sure when he would return, so she had begged them not to tell him about Grayson.

She was scared that once he found out, he would fly over just to break his jaw. Or nose. Or both, she didn’t know.

The happy squeal of her daughter drew Y/n from her thoughts finally, and she turned to look at what she was doing.

It once again brought a smile to her face.

Grayson was sprawled on the couch, in simple grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt, and was blowing raspberries on Adelaide’s stomach. He was smiling wide, his eyes twinkling in a way Y/n had rarely ever seen before.

Before he found out about Adelaide, anyways.

Y/n set aside her phone, telling herself that she could tell her brother later. It was feeding time. She walked over to the couch, holding her hands out to Grayson.

Gryason’s brows furrowed and he squished Adelaide to his chest.

"Mine." 

Y/n blinked. He hadn’t ever been as childish as he was the past week. On one hand, she was surprised, but she was also happy about it. She loved this side of him, a side even he probably never knew existed.

"I know that, mister five years old, but it's feeding time."

He almost pouted, but handed a giggling Adelaide over. "I want her back when you’re done."

Y/n shook her head, hiding her smile.

The past two months, even with her bad days, had been unexpectedly pleasant. She and Grayson had had long talks about how to proceed. He had apologised profusely for calling what they did that night a mistake. According to him, he regretted saying that but had been too arrogant to apologise and thought that things would just go back to normal.

The prick.

Still, Y/n found it hard to be mad at him, because at one point, even she had thought that night was a mistake.

But now that the two had forgiven each other, life was fun. They went back to being friends, their time together feeling just like a year and a half ago, when everything had been normal between them.

Just as Y/n went to settle down on the other couch and Grayson got up to give her some privacy- he still refused to be in the same room as her when she was feeding Adelaide- the bell rang.

Instantly, Y/n shot up, and Grayson glanced at her, brows tugged together. Y/n herself did not understand her own reaction, but she knew not to dismiss the heavy feeling that was beginning to take root in her chest.

Grayson inclined his head, a question in his eyes, then turned towards the door. Y/n shook her head, then handed Adelaide back to him and rushed to open the door instead.

She did not have a good feeling about this. The feeling almost resembled the anxiety she felt when Grayson had first come to visit. It was almost like she knew who was on the other side, and she knew no one was going to like it one bit.

And sure enough, when she rolled onto her tiptoes to peer out of the peephole, her blood chilled.

Liam.

She turned to Grayson, frantically moving her hands around, trying to tell him to hide even if it wouldn’t really help, knowing it made no sense to him whatsoever. It wouldn’t have made sense to herself either if she did not know the context.

Before she could say anything, the bell rang again, and Y/n smacked her head, then opened the door.

Liam grinned at her, his dark hair tousled as if he had been running his hands through it. He honestly looked ready to fall asleep.

Despite the panic clawing at her insides as she tried not to think too much about his reaction when he found out about Grayson, she smiled back.

It had been a long while since she saw her brother.

She stepped forward, letting him wrap her in a tight embrace. It instantly relaxed her, and she let herself enjoy this moment, knowing all hell would break loose the moment Grayson came into his sight.

"Li. Missed you."

He chuckled. "Missed you too, munchkin." he pulled back, placing a tender kiss on her forehead. "Where’s my little niece?"

"Inside." Y/n bit her lip, contemplating. "How come you’re here? I thought you were in New York?"

He nodded, patting her head before manoeuvring around her to walk inside, dragging his bag behind him. "I was going back home, then thought, why not drop by? It’s been a long while anyway, and-"

He stopped speaking, and Y/n watched with growing fear as his shoulders tensed.

Y/n hurried in behind him, clicking the door shut as she took in the scene.

Grayson stared at Liam like a deer caught in headlights, giving no reaction even as Adelaide grabbed fistfulls of his hair and tugged.

Liam made no move when he spoke next, his voice low. "What the fuck is that bastard doing here?"

Well, this was going to be fun.

Sarcastic. That is sarcastic.

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Mine taglist: @aaronwarnerobsessedmylove @blocked-zombieartist @lillycore @lanterns-and-daydreams @bubybubsters

@berryzxx @riddlesb1tch @thena101 @imaseabear

The Inheritance Games Taglist: @dahliawarner @thena101 @yucanbmylxdy @sheisntyou @kitkatlover015

[bambidixon]

I've been thinking about them. A LOT. I mean it sooo

First thing first They're so “The exit” by Conan gray

Feels like we had matching wounds— the way they grew up

But mine's still black and bruised and yours is perfectly fine—She being stuck in the past unable to form bonds with new people while Daryl finding his place with his new family

Feels like we've buried alive something that never dies— the past and ofc Merle

NOWW some things I've been thinking about

I don't think she would like Carol at all at leats until the prison maybe? they would eventually become friends and probably before she and daryl get together.

She would hate Rick, not that much but she would find him quite annoying.

I feel that she would get along with the Greene family, in fact she would be closer to them than to the rest of the group.

Beth would be her first real friend and Hershel the first man she trusts other than Daryl and Merle and I'm dying on that hill

She has something that Daryl gave her (a necklace, a ring, a diary idc anything) and she takes it everywhere

About how I think things would happened...

So she left, but I don't think she's going to leave Daryl behind just like that. He's all she has, and Daryl's "friendship" is the only stability she's ever known. I believe their it will happen gradually , probably starting during their time on the farm. In the first days, she and Daryl are both busy looking for Sophia—there's no time for buddies talks, and things don't seem to have changed between them. But as the days pass, she can't help but notice how much finding Sophia means to him, and she just doesn’t understand it. From her perspective, that girl is probably dead, and Daryl is risking his life for nothing. Yet, she keeps her thoughts to herself bc she knows better than arguing with him.

Their first real argument happens when Andrea mistakenly shoots him. She's furious—Daryl could have been killed, and it feels like no one else truly cares. She’s the only one who went out looking for him. They end up yelling at each other, both too stubborn to back down.

Things don’t change much until Sophia is found, already turned into a walker in the barn. The entire situation leaves Daryl angry and disillusioned with everyone. He retreats to what he knows—her—but it no longer feels the same. There’s a discomfort, a sense that Daryl no longer belongs by her side, and it bothers her.

Their distance grows when Daryl starts to bond with Carol. Is she jealous? YES ABSOLUTELY, but not in a possessive way—more in the sense that Carol is actually good for him unlike her, and he seems happier around these people, more like his true self. As his connections with the group strengthen, the gap between them widens—though it's more that she distances herself from him than the other way around.

After the farm burns down, when they’re camping with the group, she overhears Carol asking Daryl to leave with her and separate from the group. For a moment, she wants to say something, because who is she to think she can just take Daryl away like he's some lucky charm? But Daryl’s refusal to leave stops her.

Ultimately, I think she would leave after Merle’s death. She realize that if Daryl is happy and has chosen to stay with these people, she wouldn’t be the one to take away his chance at having a family, even if she’s no longer part of it.

[fancyfeathers]

Hands of a Knight

(Yandere Childe) (Normalized Yandere AU) Part two to Hydro Knight

credit to the names goes to @busy-dadzawa-fish who I asked if I could use the names they came up with here as placeholder names for the other darlings when writing from different perspectives

The room Clarus was kept In what could presumably be the late Signora’s bedroom in the Zapolyarny Palace. The Tsaritsa decided to keep the knight around, saying how he made for good company, and as embarrassing as it was to admit she wasn’t bad company either. As of now he sat in an arm chair, book in hand, the door was locked so there was no where else to go, he tried to focus on his book but it was difficult to say the least. His mind kept on drifting off to the day he was brought before the Tsaritsa and the Fatui Harbingers, after Signora’s death. She had his letter he was going to send to you read aloud to all the Harbingers, revealing that you were his student, teaching you how to fight. Clarus truly thought he was done for when he met the eyes of your “fiancé”, Childe. Sure your marriage was arranged by him and your over eager parents (you told him how excited they were that you were to be married to not only a harbinger but your childhood best friend, how romantic was that? You two laughed at this of course) but that didn’t mean Clarus didn’t feel fear when the harbinger smiled at him. Clarus expected to be killed then and there, but instead he was brought to his feet and a sword was out in his hands, space was cleared out of the way as the harbinger knowns as Tartaglia approached him, a smile plastered across his face…

“I want to see how skilled my darling’s master, the Hydro Knight of Mondstadt, is with my own two eyes. I promise I won’t hurt you too bad, after all you probably mean a lot to her.”

Clarus does not think that fight was evenly matched. Sure they both wielded blades that day and both wore hydro visions, but he was just a knight, sure he was one of Mondstadt’s best but he didn’t stand a chance against a harbinger. His back was still sore from when Childe kicked him in the stomach hard enough to send him flying into a nearby pillar. That knocked him out cold, and Clarus didn’t know what Childe classified “too bad” as, dead probably seeing as he woke up with a few broken ribs and a concussion.

It has been a couple of weeks since then, that time was spent every day pretty much the same. He would wake up as the maids came in to change his bandages and clean his wounds, he would get dressed in the clothes that were provided, they weren’t his usual style but then again his usual clothes wouldn’t fit the Tsaritsa’s standards. Then speaking of the Tsaritsa, he would then be escorted to the dining hall where he would have breakfast with her and whom ever else would be there, most of the time these were harbingers or some other Snezhnayan nobility. During their time together the Tsaritsa would bring up how much Rosalyne would talk about him, of course this wasn’t him, it was mostly his past life, Rostam. Clarus and Rostam were similar, yes, but they were not the same, they wore different faces, different families, different appearances, and Clarus didn’t know much about his personality. After breakfast the rest of his day would either be spent by the Tsaritsa’s side, if she wished for the company, or he would be in his room, left to his own devices, the door locked of course.

That leads to where he was now, sitting in an arm chair, reading. His mind was elsewhere, he couldn’t get himself to focus. He set the book down before standing up and walking over to the window, looking for anything unusual. Like always nothing was there but the snowy landscape of Snezhnaya, it felt like nothing like Mondstadt. He missed his home, he missed the other knights, he missed his students, but most of all he missed his friends, he missed you. You were kind to the formal and serious knight, you weren’t bothered by his cold personality. You were able to find the heart of gold underneath the ice, frozen over to protect it. He sighed, trying to keep himself crying, just because there was no one else around doesn’t give an excuse to show his weakness, especially here.

There was a knock at the door which snapped the knight out of his melancholy thoughts. He hummed in response, letting the person know they could come in. There was a turning of a key, followed by the twisting of the door knob. Clarus looked over to see the eleventh harbinger standing there. Clarus raised an eyebrow at the harbinger. “The Tsaritsa told me you were going on a vacation to  Fontaine. Changed your mind?”

“No, I’m leaving later today actually.” Childe answered, resting his side against the door frame. “I wanted to discuss something with you first, Captain Clarus.”

The knight scoffed and tucked his hands in his pockets. “I am no longer a Captain of the Knights of Favonius. Unless they have decided to leave my chair empty which I would be surprised if they did.” Clarus paused on his words, brushing his hair out of his face. Honestly he didn’t know who would take his place, if there was anyone who would want to, he was the recruitment captain. He ran the boot camps, he tested the endurance of potential candidates for the knights, he had to be stern and strong but kind when they needed someone to talk to. He pushed these thoughts down, clearing his throat to keep himself from crying, and turned his attention back to the harbinger. “Anyway, you wanted to talk to me, about what?”

“Your student.”

“One of my future knights, or (Name)?”

“My fiancé.”

“Hm…I didn’t think you had one.” Clarus said with a laugh, but Childe, despite his smile, was not amused. “My apologies, but I do not think she is ready to marry.”

“Her parents said otherwise, they seemed so excited for her to marry me.” Childe replied, still not moving from where he stood. 

“Did you think that was because of what is expected of her, to fall into someone’s obsession and be a possession? Not to mention you are a harbinger, that sort of marriage would mean she’s would never have to worry about something like work again.” Childe’s smile twitched at the knight’s words, but he didn’t break it yet. “No… (Name) is a free spirit, she can’t be tied down, nor should she. Marriage here in Sheznaya is till death do us part… it is similar other places, Fontaine, Liyue… but here… sometimes death won’t mean someone’s freedom.”

“It’s not like that, (Name) and I have known each other since we were children. I love he-“

“Love? You’re joking.” Clarus stepped forward, standing up to Childe. Something he would probably scream at himself for in the future, so hot headed. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but (Name) told me it has been almost seven years since she saw you last, you were children. You’re living in a delusion, she isn’t that same girl she was all those years ago.”

“Then tell me who she is.” The harbinger’s smile finally broke as he looked at the hydro knight with those blank, empty eyes. “Who is she? You must know since you taught her how to fight? Is she good?”

Clarus gulped and nodded, clearly nervous now. “She is very skilled, she… she was able to fight a ruin guard after the first week of lessons.”

Clarus expected the harbinger to be angry, letting you run into such obvious danger, but he only smiled…

“Oh, I’m looking forward to see that strength with my own eyes…”

—————————

It has been a few days since that conversation, but it does not matter much to you since it is beyond your knowledge. You have been traveling with two others since Clarus’ disappearance, the former mother of the House of the Hearth and darling of Arlecchino, Solene, and with her the former darling of the harbinger know as Sandrone, Sylvie. The medic and the hunter, the darlings of Dottore and Capitano respectively, had decided to stay in the wilds of Sumeru, an environment they were familiar with. The one you ran away with, the darling of Pantalone, had gotten herself a job somehow at the Jade Chamber as Lady Ninggaung’s personal assistant, so she stayed behind there. You three now travelled, looking for a safe place to land, that is why you found yourselves in Fontaine. Fontaine was not the safest region for you all, but Solene wanted to check up on a few loose ends before you all continued on, most likely to Natlan next. You were the brawn of the group, which wasn’t a lot, just you knowing you’re away around a sword thanks to the missing Clarus, which leads you where you are now.

You slashed through the skin of the last Fatui agent that had spotted you three. You all were on your way to the Court of Fontaine when you were spotted by more than a few members of the Fatui who attempted to take you by surprise, but luckily Sylvie had more than sensitive senses, she had noticed them in time for you to draw your blade. As the body fell to the ground with a sickening splat you breathed a sigh of relief, you could live to be free another day. Sylvie and Solene started discussing on how you all could figure out where Fatui were stationed to avoid them all together as you sheathed your sword. Then, out of the corner of your eye you noticed a strange envelope in the unconscious man’s pocket, you were careful not to kill him that would be to brutal for you. You reached down and delicately grabbed it. You walked behind the other women as you opened the wax seal and read it and immediately your heart sank.

My dearest (Name), 

I wish so much to see you again soon. Your teacher has told me about how strong you have gotten and honestly while I wouldn’t have taught you how to use a weapon, I am so incredibly proud of you, милая. Honestly I can’t wait to have the chance to test your strength myself, I promise not to hold back if you don’t.

Yours,

Ajax

P.S. These agents had orders to bring you to me, but something told me that they wouldn’t stand a chance, so I wrote this letter just in case.

This letter had confirmed your fear about the Fatui holding your friend, but there was not much you could do about it. Sylvie had guessed weeks ago, when Clarus was first missing, that if the Fatui were the ones behind it, he would be in Snezhnaya by now. You must have looked like a ghost when reading the letter because without you realizing it, the two other woman were in front of you, trying to snap you out of it. You could hardly process anything besides the loud heartbeat in your ears, you were in a complete panic.

You looked towards the unconscious body of the Fatui. If they were to wake up they would report back to Childe about where you were.. you could…

You quite literally had to shake that thought away as the others guided you on either side away from the carnage you caused. You looked down at your hands and all the callouses you had gotten over the last weeks… or was it months? They were not the soft and delicate hands that would play with that young boy in the woods of Morepesok, your hands had become rough and strong like that of a soldier… like Childe’s…

No, no, no, you cannot think of yourself like that, you cannot be like him…

Your hands can be strong and rough, when you need to be, but they can be soft and delicate, holding them out to help another up…

Your hands were like a knights’s.

[kinkandkreep]

Heyy can you do J,I,Y,X,V,S,N,E,F,B nsfw alphabet for ratonhnhaké:ton please 😊

Thanks for sending this in hun! Y'all feel free to take a gander at my NSFW Alphabet and send in some more requests! Happy reading! 

Ratonhnhaké:ton:

B= Body Part (favorite body part of their own or their lover's) 

Connor’s favorite body part(s) of his own are his arms

His favorite body part of yours is your lips (he's also quite partial to your cheeks and hands)

Connor admires the strength of his arms, how easily they allow him to carry you, and caress you and comfort you when the occasion calls for it

He likes your lips because they’re soft and oh so kissable

He could spend an eternity just gently kissing you, savoring the way you taste and holding you close *swoon* 

E= Experience (do they know what they're doing ) 

Connor…sort of knows what he’s doing

Initially

He really doesn't really have all that much experience, mostly on account of the fact that, y'know, he's a busy Assassin/Captain/Business Owner🙃

I personally headcanon that Connor lost his virginity to the person he married; in this case, let's say that's you 

In the beginning, Connor is hesitant but very teachable

He really just needed a gentle, encouraging hand to help him along and before long, he’s practically an expert at making you feel good

F= Favorite Position 

Con-con man’s a bit of a vanilla guy so I’d say something intimate like missionary or spooning

He’s also partial to just your basic cowgirl

I= Intimacy (do they prefer to "fuck" or "make love”) 

Connor prefers to “make love” 9 ½ times out of ten

The rest of the time he’s probably hopped up on adrenaline or something and needs to properly “fuck” the energy out

J= Jack Off (do they masturbate & how often) 

I wrote about this once before but I imagine that Connor actually masturbates fairly often

Which probably sounds counterintuitive given that I just said he’s a busy man but just hear me out 😂

In that drabble, I noted that he has a high libido, and, looking at it from the perspective of an average, sexually healthy person, the reader couldn’t always keep up/doesn’t feel like takin’ it to the bed all the time

So, as a remedy to the issue of essentially always being ready to go, outside of like quickies, Connor just masturbates and it helps

Not necessarily a whole lot, but it helps nonetheless 🙃

N= No (turnoffs or flat-out no no's) 

Connor will not hurt you in bed, no matter how you plead and beg and whine and moan

If that’s one of your kinks

Connor’s already lived his life around so much violence and he’s gotten his fair share of scars and injuries, and he would never want to inflict something like that onto you

Yeah yeah, he knows how to be gentle and maintain self control and he could feasibly play rough but he just prefers not to

Connor’s a big ole’ teddy bear ok, just let ‘im be soft 😭

S= Stamina (how many rounds per night, how many nights/times per week)

 Rounds per night: As many as you’re able to go and then some, so if I just absolutely had to give a figure it’d probably be 3-4 

Nights/times per week: Again, as many as you’re up for, but on his own, he could go the aforementioned 3-4 rounds every night of the week

V= Volume (are they loud, do they talk & if so, what kinds of sounds do they make) 

Connor doesn’t talk loudly, but he may whisper sweet words in his native language and even swear in it and English when things get really heated

Other than that, he makes the usual grunts, sharp intakes of air through his clenched teeth and, if you’re fortunate, you may even pull a throaty moan from him on occasion *waggles eyebrows*

X= X-ray (length, girth, any special attributes like piercings, veins, tats, etc.) 

So…here’s the thing

I think we as a community have collectively decided that Connor is, for lack of better term, packin’

He’s big, and I would even imagine he knows it 😏

Let’s say about 8 ½ inches in length, a little greater than half an inch thick, with prominent veins running along both sides 

And that’s not even me being generous

Honestly I could imagine him to be a bit bigger but I don’t want this to become too unrealistic

Even though he’s a fictional character but I digress 🙃

Y= Yearning (a look into their libido) 

As previously mentioned, Connor has quite the libido

Contrary to what one might assume from observing his personality and mannerisms, Connor has a naturally high sex drive and he practically runs on adrenaline, so while he’s not perpetually hard exactly, he’s pretty damn close 😂

Plus him being so adoring of you doesn’t help, simply observing you do the most simplistic things sends his drive through the roof

He’s just in love ok, leave my baby alone 😤

I believe that’s everything this time ‘round. I hope you enjoyed! 👋🏾