#like from a business perspective I get what both sides want I just think one side is remarkably arrogant and foolish

[xsoldier]

A big part was that a majority of the progress of the early 2000s to 2010 mattered to ACTUAL PEOPLE, whereas post-financial crisis, the progress started to focus solely on corporations' economic growth — whilst the enshittification of technology actively eroded away the progress that had been made for people.

That contributed to the growing class divide & inability to influence the world in a meaningful way, because the bigger corporations swallowed everything up, and transformed everything into a resource to serve ITS needs, rather than existing to address the needs of actual human beings.

Ex: Blockbuster won't get videos from everywhere, and runs out of what you want to watch? Netflix will mail you the DVDs for anything you can think of, and then eventually it's streaming so you don't even need that if you have good internet! It's addressing a need for actual people. Until that shift meant it was just a subscription service that only randomly had something you wanted to see, and would slowly but surely ratchet up its prices no matter how much less it was offering, because you didn't have any other legal options to watch & their content and participate in a collective social activity.

Even when I graduated from high school in 2004 — The stagnation of things like social security being estimated to be non-existed when I hit retirement age & the escalating impossibility to own a home still existed. There was a VERY cautious optimism of that being fixed, but none of us were holding our breaths — mainly because as Millennials we were being scapegoated for killing the economy of every conceivable business ever, while those in power ignored that what they were doing was fundamentally unsustainable.

We all work for companies that treat us like nothing but fuel to make their stock prices go up, and VERY few of us ever get to share in what the increase of that value means, on TOP of not making a meaningful difference while the rest of progress was a stagnation even when things were still getting a bit better in some places, with the flip side being how shit like school shootings were turned into a status quo because special interest groups were so powerful, your individual voice meant nothing at work or in government, and social media was the only place where that playing field was leveled between corporate, media, & political figureheads and everyday people… for a time.

That's why that particular string of nihilism & hopelessness is most often apathy rather than rage, as well as why it was so easy to find people tired of being blamed for fucking up everything all the time, point them at a scapegoat, and use that false empowerment to fuel far-right political fury like MAGA while the liberals & Democrats just clung to the status quo that was still failing everyone because they'd rather bask in the satisfaction of being right than risk what it'd take to actually be effective. (Not just an American problem either, but that's the perspective I know it best from).

Late-stage capitalism morphing into the far worse techno feudalism, whilst the Internet itself turned into a corporate dystopia YEARS ago from the once wild-west interconnected web of human experience that it was back then before Apps homogenized everything into locked down silos of control, where they'll siphon away anything you give, and you have no money to fight off something that massive in court, and seldom any tools to find fairness otherwise.

While most millennials don't have that active rage, we HATE that Gen Z wasn't given a better world. Sure it's got neat things, but we loathe the ways it's failed us both and prevented us from doing a damn thing. …and that's also why the second a Medical Insurance CEO got shot… everybody realized that it's a class thing and we got to see JUST how different it is when something happens to one of them vs. our friends getting murdered in schools & clubs for YEARS.

We didn't like the status quo back then, but it was still moving. We hate the present even more because it's regressing as the powerful are playing in a facade of a promised future, while going about it with all the myopic incompetence of every early-2000s power-hungry web admin with the morals of the most repugnant internet troll, and fucking over anyone below them with impunity. So let me say from experience:

When given power, those people will never care. They will never change, because they got there by being the way they are on purpose. Don't tolerate it. Don't normalize it. Don't play fair against them, because they're not. Play to win.

Remember that it's not an age thing, and it's barely a political thing because those lines VANISH when the real problem gets exposed. It's a class thing of corporate wealth trying to make themselves into gods who feed off of everyone else, and there's no low they won't sink to to take more however they can, and no matter how many of our lives it costs.

am taking perverse pleasure in reminding people it's 2025. that's a star trek year. silly little science fiction number. except it's happening, and DANG ain't it underwhelming!

[ujuro]

Man I feel so bad for newjeans cause after observing their career for what? Two years since they debuted? I came to the general conclusion that min heejin was one of the most insufferable people in kpop but seemed to at least have that under control enough to do right by the girls for the time being (even if the reasoning was that she saw them as an extension of her own genius rather than caring about them as people) but no turns out like from the minute they blew up she was planning to try fist fight the parent company they’re under like come on 😭

[b-lossm]

•+*Workout Plan*+•

Caitvi! x reader [modern au!]

Synopsis: two strong women at the gym want you?? wait,, they're girlfriends??

The New Workout Plan [+18]

You where exhausted, but you had to perservere.

As you walked into the gym you where talking to your friend on the phone "you know ever since I started to follow that workout plan, I got all my shit together" you talk to your friend as you walk to the locker room. When you walk in you notice these two girls talking, a taller blue haired one, and a slightly shorter pink haired one with tattoos, What you don't notice is how they eye you up when you walk by them, mumbling something not being better then a man

By the time you come out, all changed and ready to go, you notice the blue one looking at you but then quickly looking away and talking to the other 'weird' you think, self deprecating thoughts entering your mind but that doesn't stop you from heading to the platies room to attend your little workout class.

You sit on your pilaties machine and see the blue haired one from earlier and give her a little wave, hoping that she isn't as mean as you think she is. When you wave she gives you a little confident smile and waves back, immedately taking her phone out and quickly texts somebody, you assume its the pink haired girl from earlier.

Annoingly, yout instructor cancles last minute "freak my life" you mumble under your breath as you start to get your stuff "I know this is so annoying" you hear the blue haired girl next to you say, handing you your lipgloss that fell out of your bag "Almost lost this" she chuckles awkwardly and messes with her bangs. "Oh! Thank you" you say, smiling as you introduce yourself "Oh my name is Caitlyn" she awkwardly sticks out her hand for a handshake and you smile while shaking it 'shes pretty...' you think while talking to her and walking out of the room

She then sees the pink haired girl from earlier "Oh! Vi! come meet my new friend" she giggles as the pink haired girl looks suprised, a subtle pink flushing over her cheeks "Hi, I'm Vi" she introduces, looking at Caitlyn "Nice too meet you Vi, it is short for violence" you giggle while looking at her bandaged arms and hands. She then gives a knowing look to Caitlyn "hmm well i guess" she replies, winking.

--------------------------------------------------------------

After that you guys just..clicked you guess, you found out they where in fact girlfriends so you pined for the both of them in secret while the three of your's friendship blossomed past gym buddies. You three where now watching a movie at their place, you and Vi where on the couch underneath one of Cait's massive blankets while she got the snacktray ready.

"Cait we're watching Waves!" you shout from the couch, not noticing how Vi was eyeing you up in your cute flowy nightgown. You where too busy being exited to introduce the two to this Masterpiece, "Come on! hurry up Cait!" you whine impatiently "Yeah Cupcake can't keep Dumpling here waiting right?" she chuckles while playfully pinching your side "Shut up" you giggle and playfully hit her while Cait comes back with the snack tray. Cait sighs "Ten minutes without me and you guys are already tearing up the place hm?" she takes a seat next to you instead of Vi, leaving you in the middle 'Weird' you think, sitting up as to not lean on one of the other's girlfriend.

--

About midway through the movie your hope to not lean into Cait, or Vi failed, your where laying on Cait while Vi laid between your legs and rested her head on your tummy "Why is he yelling at her? He said that its okay if they keep it....like I get that its a high school pregnancy but she is valid to be sad.." Vi complained, tracing shaped into your side "Its just the way he is, He's a very angry and stressed character" You say as Cait plays with your hair "You'll see" you start to massage her scalp with Vi's hair and she sighs relaxing and even leaning into your touch.

As the movie progresses, and you watch the perspective switch Cait and Vi eventually awkwardly switch places with each other. "This movie is so.. complex" Cait says while leaning into your stomach "Its beautiful.... It shows how someone's life is effected in a time of grief and how it effects them, but it also shows that they can love again while going through it" you sigh and lean into Vi's soft touches "S' a real emotional movie Dumpling, didn't know you liked such emotional stuff like this.." she yawns and looks at you and Cait laid out on top of her

--

By the time the movie is over you start to help them clean up, not knowing how to react after basically spending the whole two hours cuddling "Uhm.. I should head home" you say, already putting your shoes back on only stopping due to Vi gently grabbing your wrist, her hand sliding down to meet yours "no!--uh, stay.. with us.. Please?" she says awkwardly, Cait coming over too see that their plan has worked "Its really no problem y/n" she says with a soft but confident smile, holding Vi's shoulder "Oh! uhm.. alright" you say with a soft smile, as you let them lead you to their room "In your bed..?" you tilt your head slightly 'cute' the girls think "Mhm, is that a problem, Dumpling?" Cait says, 'shut up are they seriously asking me to sleep in their bed' you think as you bashfully set your bag down and you pull out your brush and follow Cait to their shared bathroom to brush your hair, Vi lays on their bed and admires the two of you, wishing and hoping to see this everyday.

When you eventually get in their bed you find yourself on the edge to give them space but then Cait speaks up "What are you doing..? come here" she pats the space in between them 'holy shit' you think as you awkwardly crawl over to the space "So.....how's the weather?" you say with an awkward giggle and then the two then take initiative and lean into you, awkwardly shuffling before finding a nice cuddling position.

"uhm.. goodnight Cait.. goodnight Vi" you yawn, leaning to hug Vi who is in front of you while Cait braids your hair so it doesn't get tangled up "Goodnight Dumpling" Vi kisses your wrist "Goodnight y/n" Cait kisses your head.

You didn't wanna ruin the moment and mention how your only friends with them right now and how you felt a little weird, but I guess that's a talk that can wait for tomorrow.

--------------------------------------------------------------

meowmeowmeowmeow umm spoilers for next part maybe its probably gonna be sesbian lex and I'm not gonna talk about how they all get together so !!

[drchucktingle]

sometimes buds ask’ what is it like to be a neurodivergent artist?’ and this is great summary: the charts can look like this, and at same time people will be endlessly posting on how you are ‘not real’ or ‘a bit’. you can hold bestsellers in slot 1 to 4 and still not be 'serious'

i am ultimately ok with this. i love my trot and would not have it any other way, but i think it is worth investigation. when irony poisoning has seeped into everything, how many times does a neurodivergent person have to say ‘actually this is NOT so bad its good. its just good’

when you are autistic, or queer, or both, how much proof do you need to be considered good art? or good business? what do the charts have to look like for me to be a ‘real’ author? or allowed my face mask at a library association conference? or one person not a group of writers?

im coming up on a decade of writing tinglers soon, and people are still talkin about my ‘serious’ works vs my ‘joke books’ and at every turn, as kindly as i can, i shout from the rooftops: THEY ARE ALL SERIOUS BOOKS. THIS IS NOT A BIT.

but its hard when buds have had ‘the correct way to be a writer. the correct way to be an artist. the COOL way to react to a book that is TOO weird’ pounded into their heads by internet culture. 'kill it with fire' they say. 'i need eye bleach' they say without thinking. a line.

heres the thing, the tide IS turning. theres buckaroos jumping in and saying, ‘I want to be a part of this’ and for that they are being rewarded. the publisher who took me seriously is lookin pretty dang good right now with these charts and these sales. i am honored and moved

over time there will be more buds who shed that irony mask. the tide of sincerity is powerful, and the tide of love is inevitable. it is difficult to stand strong in our uniqueness but it also pays off, and I hope to be a shining example. eventually THE TIMELINE BENDS TO YOU

so this is not a thread to complain. i have been trotting long enough that these things do not really bother me. being made fun of and disparaged as ‘not legit art’ while also being objectively successful at the things im made fun of about is kind of the ocean that i swim in.

no. my point of this is to say THANK YOU to those of you who have been trotting by my side over these years. THANK YOU for proving love to me. im so honored by your support, and you should know that YOU have seen beyond the irony poisoned veil that stops many others. YOU get it.

and to those with their own unique perspective on creation: look what you can do. yes there will likely be a lot of resistance to something different, but there is also a LOT of reward. YOU can trot a new path. YOU can prove love is real, not in MY way, but IN YOUR OWN WAY

anyway thank you for reading buckaroos. thank you for your support. LUCKY DAY comes out next summer and it is probably as FAR OUT and existential as the tingleverse has ever gone. you can preorder it here

[michuga]

see both sides like chanel

summary: your best friend, jeongguk, has only ever dated boys. unbeknownst to you, (he was also into girls).

pairing: jeongguk x fem reader

content: best friends to lovers, sexual tension, fluff, reader is a little absentminded, jk is a damn tease

warnings: cursing, (it gets steamy)

wc: 2k

you and jeongguk have been friends for the past seven years.

jeongguk has only ever dated boys.

does that a gay man make? no! of course not, you knew this. it is the big year of 2025 after all. sexuality is a spectrum; and you were never one to judge.

leaning in, jeongguk brushes his lips against yours.

and that's how you ended up kissing your very gay best friend.

or, not? i guess?

you don't know if it was because he was your best friend; instantly crossed off as a potential lover in your mind anyway, or because he was always sporting a new shiny boy toy every couple of weeks. or the crop tops he wore all throughout high school. or the sexy fireman posters plastered all over his dorm room walls in college! either way; you never would have expected to end up bent over on his couch on a random tuesday afternoon.

but one thing is for sure.

you were stupid.

oh so very stupid.

you're probably wondering how you got here.

well, let me walk you through it.

it all started with an incident that happened a few months ago.

your best friend, jeongguk, was on your bed, ranting to you about his new fling.

"i can't believe i ever thought jimin and i could work," he complains.

grabbing the hem of your blouse, you lift it up and off your body, tossing it across your room.

left in your black lacy bra, you scour your closet for something to wear.

a minute or so passes, and you finally notice the silence that falls upon the room. you turn around to find him visibly preoccupied, going through his phone.

"you were saying..?" you tap his shoulder.

clearing his throat he continues, maintaining eye contact with his phone, "i just don't think he's the one for me. he's too.. flaky?"

you've always found it adorable how jeongguk got shy at times like these. it's been seven years and he has remained ever the gentleman, never taking advantage of your friendship or abusing the amount of trust you put in him. you never had reason to doubt him anyway, it's not like you were exactly his... type, per se.

"i agree, babe. you deserve way better than that," you say, returning to the agonizing task at hand; finding an outfit amidst the chaos that is your closet.

finally picking one out, you hold up the hangers against your body, standing in front of your full length mirror to see how it would look on you.

"what do you think of this?" you ask, lost in thought.

"your black skirt would go along better," jeongguk mumbles from your bed.

"right? i thought so too." putting the hangers down, you bend over to grab said skirt from your bottom drawer.

from an outside perspective, one could consider you shameless.

from jeongguk's perspective, he found you amusing.

and from your perspective.. well, the most complicated thought in your mind right now was putting together a damn outfit.

an hour later, you and jeongguk sit at your table eating the brunch he cooked you, catching up on your busy lives; as was your routine together.

"and this girl i was fooling around with at the time-"

your brain short circuits.

"come again?"

"what?"

"sorry, i thought you said girl." you say with a dismissive laugh, "imagine that."

"i did." he looks at you with furrowed eyebrows and an amused smile.

the entirety of your coffee is wasted in your spit take.

you wish you were exaggerating.

cleaning up the mess you made on the table, you backtrack.

"you like girls???"

"..yes?"

looking at him suspiciously, you scramble to find your words. you didn't want to offend him, but he had caught you very off guard.

"did you think i was gay?" he asks, with a raise of his eyebrows, fully dumbfounded this time.

"i've just.. you've always.. i've only ever seen you with guys?"

"well yeah, those are just the ones i've encountered, i guess."

"you're telling me we've been friends for the past seven years, and i'm just finding this out now?"

"damn. when you put it that way, you sound like a real bad friend, you know," he says with a chuckle, casually gulping down the rest of his coffee.

oh. oh.

helikesgirls

helikesgirlsandhe'sseenyounaked

helikesgirlsandhe'sseenyounakedonmultipleoccasions

with a small smirk and a tilt of his head, he gets up and walks up to you. "don't worry, you're still not my type." he whispers in your ear.

"if you need me, i'll be with the community dick!" he yells out as he walks away, taking your dignity and your pride with him; the last of it escaping with the final click of your apartment door.

"god how stupid am i?" you complain, rather dramatically, to your other best friend, hoseok. "i mean, how could i just blatantly assume he was gay? what if i made him uncomfortable before and he never told me? i'm a terrible friend!" flailing your arms, you ignore the dirty looks from onlookers passing by.

"i'm sure if you had made him uncomfortable, he would have told you. this is jeongguk we're talking about? are you trying to tell me he has any sort of filter?" he jokes, trying to cheer you up.

repeatedly bumping your head into the wall in front you, you surrender to the sea of embarrassment you found yourself drowning in.

"you should have seen my face. as if i wasn't stupid enough already, i made things awkward and rethought every interaction we've ever had, like, right in front of him. you could literally see the gears turning in my brain. i probably looked like a bloated pufferfish blowing bubbles. stupid, stupid, stupid," you repeatedly smack yourself in the face.

"wait. you're gay though, right??" you ask, suddenly feeling as insecure as ever.

"yes babe, i came out to you in the 12th grade. still as straight as rupaul." he says with a chuckle, finding your meltdown completely adorable.

reaching behind you, he takes hold of your seatbelt and fastens it.

you can't help but burn bright red. what the fuck is wrong with you? what ever changed? he's still jeongguk. your jeongguk. the same jeongguk whose clothes you helped clean from vomit, after he got drunk one too many times back in college?

you feel like ripping all your hair out.

maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

jeongguk had picked you up from work, and you were on your way to his place to hang out, as usual.

"so it's either that or fried chicken.. what do you think?"

"huh?"

"i said what do you want to order??"

"oh.. anything is fine, thanks," you say awkwardly, clearing your throat.

"okay then?" he says as he starts the car.

a few hours later and the evening was going smoothly. perhaps too smoothly.

mishaps forgotten, you and your best friend sit in his living room, eating, laughing, and watching desperate housewives. just as you always have been for years.

"i'm gonna go get us some more drinks," you say as you get up, making your way over to his kitchen.

"he's such an idiot," you mumble to yourself as you chuckle, remembering the joke jeongguk had cracked a minute prior.

initially you open the fridge to check for beer, but there wasn't any; so you resort to plan B: the fancy wine he stores in his top cupboard.

you stand on your tiptoes and extend your arm up, trying to reach the wine bottle.

suddenly you feel a prescence behind you. last time you checked, brick walls can't move. so if 1+1 equals 2; then warmth, musky vanilla and hard equals jeongguk.

you see a bigger arm reach up and get the job done. "here, let me."

"thanks.." and just like that, the strange feeling is back.

you knew there was no way the evening could go smoothly. no, you're never that lucky.

pulling away, jeongguk pops open the wine bottle, pouring crimson liquid in two glasses.

you jump up to sit on the kitchen counter.

"have you picked out an outfit for the gathering yet?" he asks, taking a sip of his wine.

"nope," you say with a sigh, shoulders slumped in defeat. "it seems like everything i try doesn't look as good on me as i imagine in my head."

"but everything looks good on you, doll."

"are you putting the moves on me, jeon?" you say, jokingly; waiting for him to laugh along.

inching closer, closer, closer.. he stops and situates himself between your legs.

"and what if i am?" he mutters with a deep hushed voice. "am i making you nervous?" mere inches between your faces laced with thick, undeniable tension. he dare not raise his voice a single octave; for that could ruin the intimacy of it all.

whether it was something in the air or the liquor in both your systems, something between you had shifted.

this was not your gay best friend.

this was someone much more dangerous.

"we really.. really shouldn't.." voice barely above a whisper, you manage to let out with every remaining ounce of self-control you have. a feather light hand on his chest, you fruitlessly attempt to push him away; physically melting into his touch instead.

grabbing your hand, he holds it in his.

"do you have any idea how batshit crazy you drove me all those times, stripping half naked right in front of me?" he starts, voice raspy and full of need, slowly tracing his finger along your thigh, going up, up.. "mindlessly running your mouth, bending over in your tiny panties.. when all i wanted to do was bend you over myself, and put you in your place? my best friend of seven years, assuming my sexuality.. tsk tsk.."

ghosting a hand over your throat, he firmly grips your chin, lifting your head up to meet his gaze.

"do you want me to show you.." with a sinister smirk he breathes into your ear, "just how much i love women?"

your breath catches in your throat.

it was at that moment he leaned forward and crashed his lips against yours, closing the gap between you.

78% nitrogen and 21% oxygen in the atmosphere, but right in this very room and in this very moment; it's 100% you, jeongguk, and your breathless pants. a different third gas; the kind that smells like blurring the lines between you and your best friend. potentially damning a solid friendship, and throwing years down the drain. not 1% was spared for rationale.

both of you are forced separate, bound by your human bodies, in need of air.

ravenous, you grab his shirt collar and shoved him right against your face, devouring his lips once more.

with a groan, his free hand grabs your calf, hitching your leg against his hip. you wrap it around his waist, while the other hangs low; your heels hanging poorly on your foot and finally dropping to the floor with a clank.

both of you move rhythmically at first, then it gets sloppy; a sense of urgency overwhelming you. your lips move together with hurry, adrenaline coursing through your body; as if replacing the very blood that flows through your veins. chasing his lips, you just about swallow him whole.

not that he minds, he seems adamant on doing the exact same.

tangling your fingers in his hair, you angle your head better to ensure your prey is perfectly trapped. an act of cannibalism.

it was primal in the most natural way, finally letting go after an entire night of need and clouded lust.

"mm'not.. here," you mumble in between kisses.

finally picking you up and wrapping both your legs around his waist, he wastes no time leading you to the nearest surface he could find. well, as good as he can see, anyway.

and that's the story of how you hooked up with your bisexual best friend.

you learned the hard way.

[sepherinaspoppies]

Riding the Dragon

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ masterlist ✧₊⁺AO3 ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ taglist

⟢summary: after a great dinner with Aemond, he decides to give you a ride on his motorcycle, a Dragon T6.

⟢pairing: Modern! Aemond Targaryen x Reader

⟢warnings: 18+, MDNI, public smut, pussy on bike, cum play?, reader getting off on Aemond's bike, some tiddy succin, mentions of p in v sex, I think that it?

⟢wc: 3,064

⟢notes: this is my first time writing in reader's pov? the whole 'you' kind of perspective. I apologize if it sucks ass, I wanted to try something different. And can y'all believe I wrote majority of this when I was ovulating? HAHA

“I had a really nice time tonight.” The man in front of you says with a content and flirtatious smile on his pretty chiseled face. 

Heat coats through your cheeks to the tip of your ears. Definitely not the effect of the two glasses of wine you’d drunk not too long ago. Wine hardly ever did a number on you to slightly fuddle your conscience. 

You give him a sheepish grin, scraping the tips of your heels against the pavement, shying away from the intensity that his eye holds. “Same here. I hope we can do this again sometime.”

His face contorts in a way that clearly indicates that the feeling is in fact very, mutual. “Mind if I take down your number?” He asks, pulling out the latest new Iphone from his pocket. You only engaged in conversation through the dating app both of you met in and you thought it seemed only fair to give him your number after weeks of meeting him.

He taps a few things on his screen before you’re met with a white screen with only your first name and birthday typed. It is then when you wonder how he came about on knowing your birthday, if you had ever mentioned it in your electrifying conversations either on the app or this date. Most likely the second option. 

You knew his name, well if you’d call it that, supplying you only his first initial. By his angelic looks, he was definitely of Valyrian descent. And you hate how much of a sucker you were for those blonde bitches. You knew he was in the last year of university, double majoring in political science and business here in the capital. You also knew he had a geriatric maine coon cat, Vhagar, who’d stuck with him since he was a child. 

But that was pretty much it. 

You nod, typing out the most critical information both of you needed in order to secure the second date. “Here you go,” you hand back his phone with such caution that causes his lips to quiver in a smirk. 

He leans forward, too forward in a way you feel his breath steadily fanning your face and the warmth that radiates through his chest. You don’t pull away as his head lowers, keeping your gaze steady with his, admiring the amethyst hue of his lone eye that twinkles against the low street lights. 

A snakes his hand around your hips, which normally you’d slap away if it was any other man. But he was different. A rare gentleman who bought you a single winter rose even when you were five minutes late, let you devour the fries off his plate, and hashed your steak without asking. 

You wanted him to kiss you and perhaps even more. 

You wouldn’t say no. If anything you’d whimper out a simple “please” if it came to that. 

However, just as you expect his lips, it doesn’t come. He pulls away with a lupine smirk on his face, waiting for a response to a question you did not hear.

You cough away the slight embarrassment, “What?” 

“I asked what your password was,” 

Before you process how he did it, you see him wave the gray screen of your phone around your face, waiting for the six digit code. 

Oh. 

“I got your number but you did not get mine and you’re gonna need it when I take you out to dinner again.” The blonde in front of you points out. 

True.

It almost feels too goofy revealing the code that multiple of your friends tease you for. Nevertheless, you stutter out the numbers: one, two, three, four, five, and six. 

You hear him dryly laugh, shaking his head side to side as he types out the three sets of numbers. “Mmm, you need a better password, darling. One might think you want your personal information stolen,” He teases. You shift your thighs to a close at the term of endearment, already feeling the slightest tingles in a place where you desired him the most. 

You make a sound of agreement making a mental note to change it later tonight. After he hands back your phone, he combs back the loose silvery hair out of his face into a neat bun that well flatters his face. “Take mine for example; it’s five, twenty-two, one-thirty. Easy to remember.” 

“Is that your cat’s birthday?” You questioned. 

“No. It’s the day we matched on Tinder.” 

You are lost for words. Not even you knew the exact date you matched with him, only knowing it was around a few weeks ago. Judging by your reaction, he knew what you were thinking. 

After a few more rounds of flirtatious conversations, you both decided to call it a night, waving each other goodnight as you watched as he sped up in a black, shiny Dragon T6, a vintage motorcycle that was the second most precious thing he owned. (The first being Vhagar). You’d be lying if that wasn’t one of the list of reasons why you swiped right. A tall Valyrian man, with long locks, that rode a motorcycle definitely modeled the countless dark romance books you’d spent hours reading. 

To your frustration, the price of Uber had doubled the amount you’d paid for hours ago. Not even Uber Share happened to be near your price range. For ten gold dragons, you could buy a week’s worth of groceries!

So you sighed, turning off your phone. Your usual bus was still in service and way cheaper than the ridiculous prices of Uber. And while it was too late to be out by yourself, it was a risk you were willing to take. 

As you rummage through your wallet for some copper coins, you hear a deep, rumbling sound of an engine revving up close to where you stand. 

It’s him. Braking his bike on the side of the road where you are. His expensive Lysene suit coat no longer hugged his body, wearing only a white dress shirt that was half unbuttoned, giving you an impeccable view of his perfectly rounded cleavage and the multiple hidden tattoos you didn’t know he had. 

“Hop in,” He says, pointing his head to the side. It was not a request but a demand. 

You tilt your head, unsure whether to say yes or no. “Is it safe?” You ask. His chest moves, seemingly laughing as he opens the visor of his helmet. “Of course it is. I’m a cautious driver, never had an accident and I don’t think I ever will. I made sure to drink water after a glass of wine, so I’m not under the influence.” 

He narrows his eye, observing the hesitation written throughout your face. He offers the spare helmet from his bag and hopes that it will coax the uneasiness. 

“If you’re so dubious about it then by all means the bike is yours to drive.” 

It’s your turn to laugh because the thought of you riding something of high value and rarity seemed absurd and silly. You were someone who did not have experience in driving in general whilst also being terrified of the narrow and steep roads of King’s Landing. 

But there was no humor in A’s eye. 

“You’re not serious are you?” 

He powers off the bike before he scoots back from his seat. “I am.” He eagerly pats the spot he has saved for you. 

“You do realize that this is a Dragon T6, right? They practically don’t make these anymore!” You gesture your hands around the expensive looking machine that was probably worth more than your left kidney. 

He clicks his tongue, crossing his arms on his chest. “What’s your point?”

You scoff playfully, “My point is that manufacturers don’t make these anymore and if I crash it–”  

“–You should have a little more faith in yourself. Maybe this will come naturally to you but you’ll never know if you don’t try.” 

You can’t help but exhale in slight failure. This was a conversation you knew you couldn’t win with him. “Look, I’m not going to pressure you into something you don’t feel comfortable doing but I happen to be a great teacher. And if you do crash I’ll buy another, they aren’t that expensive anyways.” The Valyrian man shrugs as if thousands, or hundred thousands of gold dragons were nothing. 

You mutter a “fine” under your breath which makes him all giddy with excitement and slides the helmet down your head. He double checks if it's secured before he lifts you to sit properly on his bike. 

“Or I have one or two things in mind of how you could repay me.” 

Every single piece of information he hurled your way was taken deep into your head. And you did your best to pay attention to it all under the sharp needles of nerves going through your spine. At some point he had given you little rubs up and down your back to soothe your nerves. The effect was anything but that, instead all you could think about was how his hands would feel against the bareness of your body.

Fuck. 

You tried to push those lewd thoughts away as he demonstrated the anatomy of the Dragon T6. The ignition was a little red switch right below the speedometer, whilst the clutch was on the left hand side and the accelerator in your right. The gear shift was something you had to get used to as it was not on your eye level but rather a small little lever near your foot. 

Once he feels you’ve gotten the grasp of how everything works it was time for the ultimate test. “Alright now we start. Are you ready?” He asked with an eager smile tugging his lips. 

No.

You nod your head, adjusting the mirrors to match your height. You feel the tips of his fingers lift and turn your chin towards him, “Use your words, darling.” There it was that name again that made you clutch your thighs together. You audibly gulp, “Y-yes I’m ready.”

“Good,” His hands squeeze at your hip bones to bring you closer to him. Your eyes widen almost comically to what you assume is his cock pressing insistently onto your ass. It was hard, and through the thin material of your dress you could feel it throbbing full of want and need. Gods, how will you ever focus now?

A brief image flashed through your mind of how much and what was packing underneath his undergarments. The length and thickness and how it would feel wrapped around your palm as you’d stroke him from base to tip, or the taste of him as you’d take him inside your mouth, or having his full length stuffed deep inside you as he fucked you dumb. 

Something tells you that he knows what you are thinking but neither of you speak about it. 

Finally, he takes your hands onto the handles of the clutch and the accelerator and you, being a step ahead, check if the gear is on neutral before you release the clutch and to your satisfaction it is. The blonde behind you smiles at you proudly like a teacher would to their student. 

“Now, you’re gonna slowly release the clutch and twist the accelerator slightly…there you go, good girl. You’re doing such a good job.” He coos at your ear. 

The beat of your heart raced almost out of your chest. You weren’t sure if it was the excitement of a small accomplishment or the low timbre of his voice praising you but you welcomed it. 

With confidence you didn’t know you had, you decided to drive the rest of the way to your apartment without complications and took up every tip the man behind you advised. The cool air kissing your skin and the adrenaline wildly pumping through your veins, awoke something in you and slowly you began to comprehend why A loved riding. 

You had felt like a small bird taking its first flight through the skies. 

When you both reached the parking lot to your apartment, you returned his helmet and a small part lingering inside you did not want to let it go. You enjoyed it and the freedom it brought you.  

“That was so fun! I can’t believe it was that easy. Think I need to save me up for one of these,” You quipped patting the bike. 

He throws his head back to let out an amused laugh, “Or I can just give you this one,” A tone of nonchalant laced through his voice. 

You look at him baffled, “I was–” 

“–But first we need to get you your license before I–” 

“–Absolutely not, I was jesting.” You snipped, making him roll his eyes with a slight pout drawing out his lips.

“You’re stubborn and difficult, has anyone told you that?” You chortle thinking of the numerous times you’ve been called that. 

“Plenty of times but I reckon this won’t be the last.” 

He hums tucking a loose piece of hair behind your ear, “I guess I have to fuck it out of you.”

You blink.

The hue of your cheeks increased tenfold, your feet and body became paralyzed to what he had just confessed. 

Had he just said that to shut you up? If so it worked. 

You didn’t know how to respond to something as bold as that and to your inclination you lowered your head but the blonde behind you couldn’t have that. You felt the tips of his fingers roughly grip your jaw to meet his gaze. The amethyst hue of his eye turned into a darker shade of violet as he eyed between your eyes then your lips. 

Every part of you screamed for him to kiss you or to do something to appease the longing. 

You instinctively parted your lips when his head began to dip towards your lips. The tip of his nose brushed delicately against your own then it slowly trailed to sniff at your neck, the sweet smell of spiced peaches. 

“Nyke jaelagon ao,” He whispered in his mother language. 

“Pār emagon issa,” You said before you mentally said ‘fuck it’ and knocked the wind out of him with a kiss. 

He lets out a mix between a growl and a groan as he feels your wandering hands tugging the roots of his hair. Something you yearned to do ever since you saw how long and silky his hair was. 

And Gods did it meet your expectations. 

His lips moved against yours most ardently and with equal fervor. It was hungry and needy the way your teeth clashed with his, tongues dancing for dominance until you hissed when he bit your lower lip. 

You melted into his warm embrace, deciding to tease him by rubbing your palm on his clothed length, detecting a damp patch. You shot your eyes open, separating away your lips. 

“Did you just cum?” You panted heavily. 

A smirked, “I came when you first got on the bike and I was about to cum right now.” 

You quirked a brow, “That’s what did it for you?” Redness coated his cheeks and before you knew it his lips were on you again and his hands lifted the hem of your dress, exposing the black lacy panties you wore just for him. 

“Incase you get lucky,” Your best friend Sara teased just the day before when you and her took a shopping trip to a Lysene lingerie store. 

Through some imaginary telepathic communication, you thanked Sara. 

He groaned feeling the wetness that gathered through your folds. You weren’t just wet, you were dripping like honey on a hot summer’s day. A mischievous idea popped into his mind, something so lewd that made the head of his cock twitch with excitement. 

You squealed as he swiftly turned you around and twisted the ignition switch on. Was he going to make you drive in this state? 

“Move your panties to the side.” He commanded behind you. 

You pushed away the curiosity and did what he bid you to do. “Good girl. Now lean forward a bit.” You shifted yourself forward until you could feel the warm metal of his seat pressing tenaciously at your bare cunt. 

A gasp turned into drawn out moans as the blonde behind you revved the accelerator at a speed that made stars appear in your eyes. It felt good, so obscenely good that all thoughts about being in a public setting flew right over your head. 

You began to grind yourself with the vibrations, creating as much friction to your bud as you could. 

“That’s it, darling,” He encouraged behind you, increasing power to the accelerator just enough for your arousal to coat his bike. “Fuck yourself on my Dragon.” 

You clenched around nothing, whining as you felt the pure waves of ecstasy slithering down your spine. It was unlike anything you ever felt, not even the vibrator you owned made you topple over the edge.

In ten seconds or less, you loudly moaned, not caring who heard or saw you, as your legs shaked and the coil around your stomach loosened, cumming absolutely hard. 

Your limbs felt entirely spent as if you ran three laps around Rhaenys’ hill. 

“Mmm, do not get too comfortable, now, darling.” He boasted smugly as his fingers scoop your honey to his lips, humming at the delicious taste. “I haven’t even fucked you senseless yet and after witnessing this I want nothing more but to ruin your ability to walk straight for week.” 

A low whine escaped your lips at the thought of him roughly taking you. “Is that what you want?” He questioned, lowering the straps of your dress to expose your breasts to his gaze. 

You sighed contently, feeling his tongue enclosing around your perk nipple. “Yes please,” You tenderly loop your fingers through his hair. 

“I promise I will never make you beg,” He murmurs against your breast, “But you sound so pretty when you do.” 

He had kept true to his word as he not only bent you over his bike as he fucked you raw, but took you three more rounds on your couch, bed and shower until you absolutely passed out in his arms. And for the rest of the week you couldn’t walk straight without limping. Thanks to Aemond Targaryen. 

general taglist: @dreaming-for-an-escape @marvelescvpe @omgisrdj @ramsip @silentf @thenightmistress @dixie-elocin @namelesslosers @gigi-panecillo @laureeedn @watercolorskyy @seabasscevans @kittendoll05 @fullmoonworshipper @bunbunbl0gs @summerposie @dusicapopilic @tulips2715 @kckt88 @chaoticwinnercupcake @folksriddle @ficsandsin @nyx-daughterofchaos98 @qweencrimson @slytherized @qyburnsghost @tofujiji @saturnssrings @janeety @thought--bubble @theunburt @mandiiblanche @iamkookiesforyou @jeben196 @just-a-harmless-patato @moneypriestess @ladymoon666 @angelinap09

empty is who I couldn't tag sowwy besties.

[charleslee-valentine]

Trudy refills Vincent’s cereal. He’s 2-3 years old and blind in one eye. He doesn’t need more cereal, he just needs his bowl rotated so he can see the cereal that was left over on his blind side. Not that we necessarily know how Vincent communicates without speech, but she hardly gives him time to answer her question about more before she’s refilling the bowl anyways. This is her approach to parenting her boys in general.

There’s no interest in fixing their actual issues. Rather than help Vincent to see what he already has in front of him, she’d rather add more, inadvertently also adding more onto the side he can’t see. At some point, this would just add to the issue. Overcompensation into overwhelm. Bo is brought in for breakfast kicking and screaming and it’s sort of evident why Trudy puts all her love into Vincent to the point of it being suffocating and unhelpful. Sure it could be a simple case of favoritism, but with the aspect of overcompensation specifically, it seems that she wants to balance her guilt over failing to parent one of her sons by pouring more effort than necessary into Vincent. Rather than giving the extra attention to Bo, it’s refilling a non-empty bowl of cereal.

I don’t think that necessarily mean she loves Vincent more. She finds him easier to parent. Fill the bowl whether or not he needs it because that’s easier than unpacking where Bo’s massive emotional outbursts are coming from. It seems more like love-bombing than genuine kindness. He’s “being such a good boy today,” but the implied part is an unsaid comparison to Bo. As twins, and conjoined twins at that, they’re not independent of each other. Vincent’s behavior exists only to contrast Bo’s, from her perspective. “Fix” his needs, and she can fix them both. Hence, preferring just to duct tape Bo to a chair than help him any.

Then Vincent grows up to become her protege, starting in his childhood but lasting until even after Trudy’s death. Over thirty years have passed since they were toddlers in those high chairs, but Bo gives a hint about why Vince got that ‘special privilege’ to not be as physically abused. “She always said that your talent would make up for what God took away from you.” Only, God didn’t take anything. Victor Sinclair doing illegal, unqualified surgery on his babies is why Vincent lost half of his face. Trudy only uses God’s name and religion as a shield for her own guilt about how her boys turned out. But it’s more likely she included Vincent in the wax business because she again, was dumping affection onto him over and over as her strategy.

Otherwise there isn’t as much favoritism between the boys. In their childhood photos, they both play piano, both play pool and baseball, both get to sit at the table with their birthday cake (without highchairs or bindings) and they play on the floor together. It's not entirely divisive between them, though it’s still obvious from which brother she’s slapping across his face and which brother she’s love-bombing which she’d prefer to deal with. Just not which she actually cares for more. Vincent wasn’t somehow spared from abuse in a house like the Sinclair household.

Interestingly, when Bo tells the story of Trudy and Victor, he mentions that once the Doc died, they were alone. Except, there’s at least one version of a prop newspaper stating that Trudy created a wax memorial for Victor. So this is just a false version of events most likely. Sure it could be that a decision changed, but there’s also the fact that, in the guns and ammo store, there’s a sign that says “Trudy’s Town or Wax.” And Bo tells Vincent, “We almost finished what mama started.” She’s also much older than the Trudy we see in the family photos and articles (even with the amount of cigarettes that woman smoked.) Ambrose is confirmed to have been abandoned for a decade, but to be turned into wax, Trudy would’ve had to die sometime between the abandonment of Ambrose and the present. Else she would’ve been properly buried most likely. The plan to fill Ambrose was hers, it’s just Bo that suggests using real humans (according to his apology to Vincent, he takes credit for the idea anyhow.)

Which makes her boys at least in their mid twenties when she died. In an older version of the script, Bo had killed her and Victor, but knowing it would put them all in foster care, that doesn’t quite make sense unless they were older. So the order of events is, Doc dying, the sugar mill closing, Trudy planning to reimagine Ambrose, and then dying herself.

The reason that’s important is because it’s emblematic of just how much pressure she was putting on both of her boys. And that’s not love. With two mentally ill, abused sons, (maybe three, since Lord only knows how they treated Lester once he came along,) that’s just manipulation. Victor and Trudy aren’t cartoon super villains for being bad to their boys. But when you can’t even just rotate a bowl slightly for your half blind little one, it’s shallow. Trudy has her cigarettes right in the boys faces in the opening and in most of the photos. Smoking was in one study linked to about 1/3rd of conjoined pregnancies, and in a similar case of conjoinment to the boys, one of the twins had lost an eye and had a prosthetic, but with minimal scarring because of the surgery being done in an actual legal hospital. It’s not about God taking anything, or about which is a little monsted and which is a very good boy- it’s about Trudy and Victor both messing up from the very beginning and causing the boys losses, then refusing to take accountability for it. Or, in the symbolic sense, to just do the right thing and turn a damn bowl of cheerios towards your blind kid.

[miel-ji]

Wanted It Forever

Genre: angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort 

Pairing: Seungmin x Fem!Reader 

Word Count: 2k

Warning: argument, crying, depression 

Summary: After a fight unresolved, you’re left to wonder if there is even a relationship anymore to salvage

A/N: based on this request!! I hope this is what you were looking for <33 love when I get asks!!

“Oh my god, Y/n! Please, how many times are we going to have to go through this?” Seungmin asked you with wide eyes, his hands running through his hair for the nth time that night making it look wild and unruly. 

“Until you prioritize me for once in your life!” You shouted back at him. Your voice was strained, and it came out sounding more like a plea, desperate to get him to understand how you felt. 

You weren’t sure how long the two of you had been fighting for, but it felt like hours of just going in circles. You weren’t even sure what exactly started it, but the second you got to the root of the problem, everything seemed to unravel from trying to pretend that it was all fine for so long. You were in a standoff in the middle of the kitchen with him on one side of the island and you on the other, creating the distance that you had been starting to feel inside. You had tried to be patient with Seungmin, but it felt like the more you ignored it, the more he stopped even trying. 

He let out a long and frustrated sigh, “why are you being so needy and unreasonable? You know that I’m an idol. You know that I have a lot of responsibilities. I try to give you as much attention as I can. Why isn’t that enough for you?” Seungmin was always trying to maintain an even tone during an argument, but you could tell this one was wearing the both of you thin. It scared you a bit as the thought of this being the final argument played in the back of your mind. 

You scoffed disbelievingly at his words. You had no time to feel hurt by his accusations as you only felt anger simmering inside you from him not willing to see it from your perspective. “Needy? Unreasonable? Seungmin, you really think this is all about attention? This is the third time you’ve stood me up on a date. We haven’t properly gone out as a couple in over a month!” 

“You think I want to? I’m busy, Y/n! I thought you knew what you were getting into when we started dating.” He threw his hands up in frustration as he offered you the same excuse as he always did. 

“The Seungmin I started dating actually made me feel like his girlfriend! You put me on the backburner for everything these days, not just work. Am I so wrong for wanting to feel important to you?” All of your emotions were starting to bubble over, and you could feel the hot tears welling in your eyes. You swallowed thickly and clenched your fist, trying to stay in control. 

Seungmin leaned back against the cabinets with his arms folded. He was silent for a moment with your collective breathing being the only sound in the room. His head was bowed as he pinched the bridge of his nose, “You are important to me, Y/n.” He said, stressing each word firmly before looking at you again. “I don’t know what else you want me to do. I can’t just ignore my career for you.” 

You dragged both hands down your face, “You’re not listening to me!” 

“I am listening to you, but you’re not being fair!” he volleyed back defensively. 

You laughed sardonically as you took in the absurdity of looping back through another circle. “I can’t do this anymore,” you rubbed your temples as you started to pace. 

“Do what? This relationship?” Seungmin asked you bitterly. You froze in your spot, and the tension in the room was palpable. Were you both really calling your relationship into question? Had it really gotten that far? 

Your heart was quickening in pace at the thought, and it was getting harder to breathe. You were trembling from all the pent up emotion, and you tried to take a deep breath before facing Seungmin again. He was watching you closely with his eyebrows furrowed, and the hurt you saw reflected in his eyes made your anger slightly recede. “No, Seungmin,” you started defeatedly, with your shoulders slumping. “I just need a break.” 

“A break,” Seungmin repeated before it was his turn to laugh sardonically and shake his head. “You know what, fine. I’ll go.” He grumbled as he grabbed his keys with urgency and stalked over to the doorway.

You just watched as he quickly slipped on his shoes and paused as he reached for the door handle. He tilted his head up, and you could see his eyes were glossy as his bangs fell away from his face. It felt like a knife was twisting in your heart as you clearly saw how torn up he looked in that moment, seconds from breaking down like you. You wanted to reach out to him, but you couldn’t say anything as he took a deep breath and walked through the door. 

The air was stiff with finality as the sound of him harshly closing your door reverberated off the walls. As soon as he was gone, you crumpled to the floor and hugged your knees to your chest, and you purged yourself of the tears and frustration. Sobs wracked your body as you thought back on everything that had just happened, and how much it hurt you that Seungmin couldn’t just tell you what you needed to hear. You just needed to know that your relationship was worth making time for to him, but he did little to reassure you. 

The feeling of Seungmin’s absence was overwhelming, and you couldn’t do anything to ease the sense of dread from the thought of losing him. You felt as weak as a puddle on the floor as you cried until you could only hiccup, and your head was pounding. You mustered up the strength you could to get yourself up only to bury yourself under the covers in your bed to block out the rest of the world. Not even sleep offered you comfort as your dreams were plagued with memories shared with Seungmin. 

~~~

Seungmin and you were alike in so many ways that he made you believe in twin flames and soulmates. You both have the same way of thinking, you both reach the same conclusions, and overall you both just have the same perspective. You understood each other on a level that you had never felt understood with anyone else, but it also meant you shared the same flaws. Right now, you were worried that being such mirrored souls would be what caused the end of your relationship. 

You were both stubborn and hated admitting when you were wrong, so making up after a fight was always another struggle until eventually you both caved in. This fight had been different though. When you and Seungmin had parted ways, you weren’t even sure if there was still a relationship to be mended. You were hesitant to reach out as you replayed the argument in your head, but the moment that stuck with you the most was the look in Seungmin’s eyes before he walked out, making you doubt if he even wanted you to reach out. So you waited, and when a week went by without communication, you were feeling like you had your answer. 

You had just been going through the motions of life ever since then, and if you did feel something other than miserable, it was just numb. With each day that passed that your and Seungmin’s relationship was still in the air, you felt that hope slipping further and further away from you that it was just another bump in the road. You had been with him for over a year, and you couldn’t just forget the plans and promises you made together. For the first time, you had wanted it forever. 

Some of the members had guessed that something was wrong between you and Seungmin with how long he was staying at the dorm and tried to check up on you, but you didn’t have the energy. You were just tired, and everyday you came home and crawled right back into bed, hoping to finally get some proper rest. However, your heart didn’t agree with your head as it couldn’t stop waiting for Seungmin until your eyes welled with tears and spilled down your cheeks. That’s where you were when you heard another knock on your door, and you groaned as you dragged yourself out of bed. Assuming it was one of the members again, you quickly tried your best to make yourself look presentable. 

You took a deep breath to open the door, only to have it stolen by who greeted you on the other side. “Seungmin?” You asked tentatively, your voice barely a whisper, almost afraid that he was just a mirage curated to console your heart ache. 

“Bubs,” he said, voice just as delicate and wavering slightly. The pet name made you feel a pang of sadness in your chest, but also a sense of relief in the same moment. He took a shaky breath, “can we… can we talk?” He looked up through his bangs with wide, pleading eyes and a tilt of his head that made him look like a wounded puppy. 

All you could do was nod and step aside to let him in, still trying to process he was here, and you felt a sliver of hope for the first time since he walked out. You softly closed the door and took a second to gather your courage as you turned to face him. You crossed your arms over your chest, waiting for him to continue, but you could tell that he was nervous from his hands fidgeting with the hem of his t-shirt. When his eyes met yours again, they looked tired and sad. 

He looked as afflicted as you felt inside, and you wondered if he’s been going through the same struggle as you had this week. “I’m… I’m sorry,” he started, shoulders slumping as he looked deflated. “I know I haven’t been the best boyfriend lately, and I’m sorry for not listening to you.” His eyebrows were furrowed and lips parted as he collected himself to continue. “But I meant it when I said you were important to me, and if you forgive me…” He took a cautious step towards you and gently took your hand in his, “I’ll do everything that I can to prove that to you. I love you, Y/n. Please forgive me?” His voice slightly cracked as he asked you the question, looking up at you with tears welling in his eyes. 

“I love you too,” you said softly, looking back at him with round, vulnerable eyes. The corners of his mouth turned up a little in a small smile, and your heart picked up pace with how much you’ve missed him. “I want to make this work with you.” 

At your words, he pulled you into a tight embrace, and your body fit perfectly against his as he wrapped his arms securely around you. He cradled your head softly with his fingers tangling in your hair, and you buried yourself in his neck, letting his comforting scent wash over you. He let out a shaky breath, and you felt his body shiver against you as he laughed in relief, “I want to make this work too, more than anything. I can’t lose you, bubs.” His voice was still raspy with emotion. 

You pulled back to gaze into his eyes again, seeing nothing but love filling in the deep dark depths of them. You cupped the sides of his face with both hands, “never.” You reassured him before leaning in to give him a sweet, tender kiss on his soft lips, conveying all the love and longing you have felt. It was balm for your soul as you felt him kiss you back, warm hands gripping your waist with a familiarity that you craved. You finally felt peace in his arms, knowing this wasn’t the fight that ended everything, but the one that would make everything stronger in the end. 

[scoobydoodean]

Hi im a samgirl and i dont mind if others feel differently about this but if you are interested in a samgirl perspective, the short story to sam's allegorical queerness is that sam grew up feeling fundamentally different from his family. He felt that there was something dirty or unclean about himself which is how a lot of marginalized queer children feel growing up. It's not that queerness itself is monstrous but that society and the patriarchal family unit will cast queerness as the monstrous Other, which is why monstrosity is a pretty common queer allegory.

I keep getting asks about queer Sam and I'm not sure exactly why, other than people maybe assume I have a strong opinion about it. The simple truth is that I just don't find what's said about it compelling so it doesn't interest me. I have no issue with other people exploring it and don't have any desire to ruin anyone's fun. It's just that I don't personally see it when I dig deeper than the surface level of "he felt different" and examine why and exactly what Sam actually wanted and why he felt that way. I will get into that here to an extent I guess because I was asked in another piece of mail what my opinions were, but I don't intend it as an "argument" to start a fight or to dismantle anyone else's perception—just an explanation of my personal lack of interest in this particular type of meta.

First, I don't think "Sam grew up feeling fundamentally different from his family" works for me as a queer meta when the reason Sam felt "fundamentally different" was that—according to his own early framing—he was the normal one trapped in a family of freaks who wanted him to be a freak like them.

Sam says in 1.08 that he felt different from Dean and John, but when we read on to see why, he says it's because he wanted to play soccer instead of being a child soldier.

SAM Because I didn't wanna bowhunt or hustle pool - because I wanted to go to school and live my life, which, to our whacked-out family, made me the freak. DEAN Yeah, you were kind of like the blonde chick in The Munsters.

For people too young to get "the blonde chick in The Munsters", Dean is referring to Marilyn Munster, who was the one "normal" person in a family of monsters in a 1960s sitcom.

In childhood flashbacks in 4.13, Sam refuses to fight Dirk at first even though he could easily best him using the skills he learned from their father.

YOUNG DEAN That's right, you don't. You could have torn him apart. So why didn't you? YOUNG SAM Because I don't want to be the freak for once, Dean. I want to be normal.

In both situations, Sam views his family and what they do as freakish and wants to distinguish himself as the one normal one trapped in a family of monsters who is at threat of becoming like them by pure association and family pressure.

YOUNG SAM Yeah, my, aah -- my dad's a mechanic. So I have to be a mechanic, too. MR. WYATT Do you want to go in the family business, Sam? YOUNG SAM No one's ever asked me that before. MR. WYATT Well? YOUNG SAM More than anything, no.

In 5.16 Dark Side of the Moon, one of Sam's greatest childhood memories is getting to sit down for Thanksgiving dinner in a normal, upper middle class household instead of sitting around with "A bucket of extra-crispy and Dad passed out on the couch."

In 1.01, he says he wants to be nothing like his family. He says he is normal unlike them when Dean is telling him they're the same:

DEAN You can pretend all you want, Sammy. But sooner or later you're going to have to face up to who you really are. SAM And who's that? DEAN You're one of us. SAM No. I'm not like you. This is not going to be my life.

Sam sees the upbringing that he has in common with Dean as something almost... humiliating—to the point that he plans to lie to Jess forever about how he was raised and about his family (1.01).

All of this to say... when the queer allegory I'm being sold is that a guy is queer because he wants to go to college, get married, have 2.5 kids, go no contact with his brother (because Dean isn't normal like him?), and lie about his family to his friends because the idea of them knowing he didn't grow up normal is embarrassing... I don't feel like I'm reading a queer allegory. I'd be more likely to think that if anything, I'm reading a comedy from the POV of "the token straight" who initially functions (in the Pilot) as the "normal" character to introduce the "normal" audience to an "abnormal" world in a relatable, palatable way.

That said, when we embrace the fact that the Winchesters are a family of freaks, there is an easy counterpoint here which is that Sam's attitude in the beginning of the series represents being closeted and desperately trying to assimilate with normal society and be perceived as just like everybody else... and his freak family is in the way. In this case, Sam knows deep down that he is like his family (i.e. queer) but desperately wishes he wasn't so that he could fit in. Given that I'm a big believer in Sam being a hunter through and through despite his occasional denials, I find this much more compelling than the argument that Sam feeling othered in his family because he sees himself (at least at first) as the one normal one makes him queer.

*One of you shaking me back and forth*

"But PK—WHAT ABOUT THE DEMON BLOOD?!?!"

Yeah yeah yeah. While it doesn't start out that way, eventually, Sam does reflect on his childhood and see himself as Megamind instead of Marilyn Munster. This is retroactive though (in my opinion. I do not actually believe Sam could "sense" his dormant powers) after finding out that Azazel dropped blood into his mouth when he was a baby. Instead of feeling like the normal one in a family of freaks, Sam starts to feel like the biggest freak in the family, and Dean's "I'm a freak too" suddenly feels like platitudes. Dean—whose calls Sam didn't pick up for years—starts to seem like the normal one—the good one—between them. Dean is the hero character, the righteous man, the sword of heaven... and Sam thinks in his worst moments that he is someone Hero!Dean should be duty bound to kill (2.11). These are all feelings that (again—in my opinion) develop later. I talk about Sam's feelings of otherness and why he actually had those feelings and how I think the demon blood erroneously comes into play as an explanation for his insecurities here.

I think it probably also makes sense to mention here that the idea that Sam was treated as a monster by his family is very very overstated by portions of fandom. I'm not saying Sam never had reason to feel different or othered or unloved or neglected—he absolutely did (as did Dean). I am saying that people like to write about things that never actually happened when they talk about how Sam was treated growing up. Sam felt different from his family because John let Dean start hunting when he was younger than Sam, then he felt different because he wanted to play soccer and go to school while John wanted him to hunt, and because he thought Dean enjoyed being a parentified child and being raised like a soldier and Sam didn't. Retroactively, Sam feels different when he finds out he has powers. These do not develop until he is an adult, and it is never indicated to us that John knew about any of this when Sam was growing up—much less treated him differently growing up because of it. Retroactively, Sam believes Dean sees him as a freak for having visions even though Dean repeatedly treats his visions as no big deal and psychics are an accepted and trusted group within the hunter community (see: Missouri, Pam, Fred). Retroactively, Sam feels different because he was fed blood as a baby. He did not know this until he was an adult, and neither did Dean, as far as we know, neither did John. Sam never believes that Dean would act on John's last whispered command (that again—does not transpire until Sam is an adult) to the point that he repeatedly tries to guilt Dean into promises to follow through and carry out John's will. Retroactively, Sam feels like a freak in season 4 because Sam chooses to drink a completely different demon's blood of his own free will and develop a completely new power set and Dean doesn't think it's a good thing.

TL;DR Sam did not grow up being treated as the monstrous other by his dad and brother. He grew up as an understandably rebellious kid whose dad was a neglectful asshole and a drill sergeant, and he hated being dragged from place to place with no say. He felt different because he stood in contrast to a brother who tried his best to keep the peace because experience taught Dean that refusing to obey would get people killed (1.18), John would send Dean away if Dean gave him lip (14.12), and Dean felt he had to be there to take care of Sam and John (1.06).

More or less, these are the reasons I don't find the queer Sam metas I have stumbled across particularly compelling (along with—imo—Jared's lack of romantic chemistry with other men). At the same time, people seeing Sam as queer or not queer doesn't bother me. I am not trying to "take away" that interpretation from anyone else (as if I even could). I'm just not interested.

[sharksnshakes]

New Perspective- Leon Kennedy

After losing a bet with friend and fellow DSO agent Leon Kennedy, he takes you for a ride on his motorcycle. Unforeseen consequences include windburn, watery eyes, and maybe developing a crush on him. Maybe.

AN; so i'm back with another installation of bestie leon wanting to be more than besties. you can read as a continuation of this one, anyways post-re2 leon is still on the brain and likely will be forever

Wordcount; 1.1k

TW; mentions of a potential motorcycle crash, mildly suggestive

Never again are you making a bet with Leon Kennedy.

"What were the terms again? Five minutes?" He asks, a shit eating grin on his face.

You speak through gritted teeth. "Yeah. Five."

Leon's grin widens.

"Shut up," you say halfheartedly, warily glancing down at the motorcycle you're both perched on.

"Didn't say anything, sweetheart."

You roll your eyes and zip your jacket up.

You're not sure how Leon's bike is supposed to safely carry you at all, let alone through busy downtown streets, without throwing one of you off or blowing up or spinning out of control or something. Suffice to say, you're not a fan of motorcycles--Leon knew that when you'd made the bet, and you'd only agreed because you'd been so certain that you'd win. Why else risk life and limb on the back of his Ducati?

That was the thing about Leon Kennedy and bets, though, because you've come to realize that he's got a way of winning regardless of how the odds are stacked. It's great for field work, but it's also a massive pain in your ass, because (news flash) you lost and now you'll have to endure a five minute ride on his death trap of a motorcycle.

"Let's get it over with," you sigh, looping your arms around his waist. The engine purrs beneath you, sending a shudder through your body.

"Y'know," he muses, and you can hear the grin in his voice, "I bet I could do a wheelie."

You laugh, you hope he doesn't feel the slight tremble in your hands, you hope he can't hear the nervous twinge to your voice. "Absolutely fucking not."

He drives slowly through the parking garage. Most DSO staff have already left for the night, and it's probably better that way, because the last thing the two of you need is for a hotshot supervisor to call you out on your antics. Meaning Hunnigan. Because if Hunnigan saw that neither of you were working on the literal mounds of paperwork gracing your desks, she'd probably hit you with a Jeep.

"Might wanna hold on tighter than that," Leon says offhandedly, revving the engine as you approach the street entrance.

"I'm not your backpack, Kennedy."

He chuckles. "Didn't think you'd know the lingo."

"You know that nobody says 'lingo' anymore, right? This is why Claire says you sound like an old man."

"Well, suit yourself," he shrugs, and suddenly you're rocketing into traffic.

You curse violently, digging your fingers into Leon's sides hard enough to bruise. You swear you feel him laughing, but you can't hear a damn thing over the engine and you're more focused on not falling into oncoming traffic.

"Fuck you, Kennedy," you mumble against his leather jacket, your eyes tightly shut.

The agent banks around a turn and you just barely hold back another string of curses. As his body shifts in the seat, you can feel the muscles in his sides stretch and shift and move beneath your fingers, and, wow, he's built, and now your cheeks are pricking with heat. You try not to think about it.

"You okay back there?" Leon calls, bringing the bike to a slow stop at a red light.

"Haven't decided yet?"

"Well, lucky for you, we're at-" he stops, glancing quickly at his watch. "-The two minute mark. Only three to go."

"Technically," you say, peeling yourself off of his back, "It's already been five, if you factor in the drive from the parking garage. So I say we head back."

He casts a glance over his shoulder at you, a smile playing across his lips. "That wasn't the deal, sweetheart."

"Would you quit with the 'sweetheart'?"

"You'd prefer 'backpack', then?"

"I'd prefer nothing, actually," you tease back, even though a tiny voice in your head riots at the thought. This banter with Leon is nothing new. You go back and forth like this in the office, on jobs, whenever, but perched on the back of Leon's bike has you feeling like you've crossed a line with the teasing somehow, like maybe he's actually flirting with you and maybe you're not actually minding it.

"Yeah, well..." The light changes to green. "Nevermind. Hang on, yeah?"

This time, you're feeling brave enough to divert some of your attention from clinging to Leon like your life depends on it, and instead you glance to the sides and take in the bustling downtown scene around you.

The sun's just barely set, casting a dusky haze over the streets. Pedestrians clog the sidewalk, passing through pools of golden lamp-post light; some duck into stores, some leave their apartments, some walk their dogs. You pass a restaurant with outdoor seating, a bookstore, a bank, and you've seen all of these places before on your daily commute, but the back of Leon's motorcycle is affording you a new perspective.

You turn your head to look at the other side of the street and catch a waft of Leon's cologne in the process. It's faint, but distinctly him. It's enough to bring the tiny voice in the back of your head to center stage, where it drenches the situation in rosy colors and 'what if's and 'sweethearts', grabbing you by the shoulders and practically injecting fantasized scenarios into your head. Everything from grocery shopping to painting your living room to getting in bed--

Oh, fuck, are you being a creep?

"Just another minute!" Leon shouts.

You nod against his back and swallow with a dry mouth. Your cheeks are flushed, you can feel it, and you hope you'll be able to play it off as windburn. The last minute of your ride is spent not unlike the first: with eyes slammed shut, ignoring Leon's heartbeat at your chest and ignoring the way your own heart whispers that there's more to be had here than just a friendship.

When Leon finally parks the bike in the garage and cuts the engine, your chest unclenches. Your five minutes are over and you are never getting on a motorcycle again.

The blond helps you off, looking far too amused.

"So, sweetheart... you liked the ride, yeah?" He raises his brows at you suggestively, but it's so exaggerated that you're positive he's just doing this on purpose.

You still nearly choke on your spit.

All the way back to the office, the two of you go back and forth over whether the Ducati's evil and dangerous and a horrible investment. He's laughing, insisting it isn't necessarily deadly, and you keep laughing incredulously and saying that's not a strong argument. Things feel normal again, and you've effectively written off the tiny voice in the back of your head as a bizarre, anxiety-induced response to your first and last ride on a motorcycle.

But his hand lingers on your shoulder for a little too long when you say you're heading out for the night, and after the rapid-fire scenarios that flashed through your head on that goddamned bike, you're not so sure you got rid of that tiny voice after all.

[starillusion13]

Hello! I love your writing!! I saw that your requests are open so I would like to ask what type of outfit would attract and turn on ateez members👀

Imagines...

These are just my thoughts, you might can agree and disagree at some point in your perspective but knowing them since predebut, this is my opinion on their likings and nature. But honestly, I was really imagining myself while writing this like how would I dress up if I ever get to meet them personally lol. i'm being too much delulu right now. I need some serious therapy.

Hongjoong

The man who is in love with passionate and hardworking girls rather you can say, a dedicated woman. He loves the way if you are always dressed up fashionably according to the occasion. If you are wearing a tight short dress or a long body-hugging slit gown for a night party or business meeting party then you should have to feel under watch. He would steal glances of you now and then and would keep you by his side and whisper some good and nasty compliments, to let others know how to keep their eyes off from you as you are taken by him. He would try to maintain a proper image in front of everyone with a wide toothy grin but behind the sly smirk is how he thinks of bending you in-front of the mirror and see you falling apart in that classy dress. Also, his soft side would get attracted if you wear any clothes and shoes designed by him, like the designer jackets which will make him proud that you are appreciating his hobbies and he would secretly click your pictures in it.

Seonghwa

Oh, a sweet personality who has always this adoration and awe in his eyes whenever he gets a glimpse of you. He loves a person who is a very soft aesthetic and dress up femininely. Wearing cute skirts or frocks like summer dress or casual wears. He would find you the most beautiful one in these outfits. He likes the way your dress flows with the light breeze and a bright smile adorning your face which brings a small smile on his face. He would hold your hand and feel himself the most luckiest one to have you and would try to help you in every other household chores so that you don’t look exhausted and can spend sweet times with him. But, it’s not always about this sweet romance as he might sometimes lose control to see you cooking and back hugging you in the kitchen in those frocks and well, he would bring the heaven to the kitchen counter.

Yunho

A tall handsome who doesn’t know how to keep his eyes off from you. He just finds you attractive in anything. He is like a hopeless lover and feels so happy just to see you holding his big hands with your cute little hands. Maybe, he likes you the most when you wear skirts as he would swiftly lift you up in his arms and place you on his lap, you placing your hands around his neck and both having beautiful smile on your faces. His one hand would caress your face and the other would going up and down your bare thighs. He loves the way you look so vulnerable in those cute skirt and top that it’s very difficult for him to leave you alone. Your every small shifting on his lap makes him hard and painful but no matter what he just wants to keep those cute skirts on you, rest everything off. Theres one more thing that attracts him more is you in his big clothes as you looked like a kitten dumped under the pile of clothes and he would coo and hug you all the day.

Yeosang

Well, he might be of two types. His one personality like you in some cute outfits which are totally like frocks and skirts and sweetly hold your hand and compliments here and there. He would often try to match his outfits with you and let you buy couple wears to let others know to whom you actually belong. His sweet demeanour is far to recognise that’s hiding a demon of possessiveness. He is very shy whenever he tells you about his favourite skirt or dress that looks absolutely beautiful on you. He loves it more whenever there are some cute floral or pattern designs on the dress. But if the dress is looking too sexy on you then just expect his other personality, his fingers inside of you as he would love to see you making little noises in those cute outfits. He just loves you so much so he doesn’t know how to really appreciate you in the dress so he sometimes tries to make a drawing of yours and you secretly keep it treasured in your closet.

San

He just can’t keep his hands off to himself whenever you are around him. He loves to see you in classy outfits where he can proudly present you as his partner to everyone. He has this side where he wants to see you in all elegant and classy and people admiring you for your beauty and success but he also loves your silly side. So, You in any elegant outfits might make him go crazy for you as he would definitely bring you to his parents to arrange for a wedding the next day. Speaking of turning him on, maybe if you are a very confident woman in a classy dress approach him but acts all shy during the conversation with him closely, it might turn your planned day into something else. Maybe his hands and minds both will be somewhere else unlike other times. Welcome the demon inside the sweet man.

Mingi

Tight outfits will make him hold you tightly against his body. Anything that highlighting your curves and hugging your body perfectly would turn him on. His here and there light touches and patting your head with a smile as if letting the others around him know that even if they are looking at you but you are only for him to touch and desire. Licking his lips and staring at you while you sexily sits across him on a sofa when you both have gone for a dine out would make it so hard for him to not drag you home and see you fall apart. But apart from this, he has a soft side which is majorly available the whole day, he is just always whiny for your attention so if you are wearing his favourite outfits then it might make him too soft for you to handle. He might also like baggy clothes on you sometimes as he thinks those look cute on you.

Wooyoung

He is such a Loverboy that he will always let you know about his likings and love for you. As usual, you both first met in the dance studio so that’s the very first thing he liked about you being having the same passion as his and you in the dance practice fits like a tank top or crop tops with sweat pants is the weakest point for him. He loves you in those funky outfits or tomboy-ish clothes but would definitely love anything which gives off an aura of dominance from you. Simply, those just turns him on even if you both are in public. Sometimes, you jokingly wear his clothes especially those hoodies as they are very much comfortable but to him, he wants you to always wear his clothes and maybe do all the nasty things that coming across his mind at the moment.

Jongho

He will never let you know that he loves you in your classy work outfits. Yes, this man is very reserve but a cute lover if you know him after spending 24/7 with him. Every morning whenever you are wearing those straight pants with a plain shirt or solid top , or maybe like a knee length skirt and blazer outfit. OH GOSH, have mercy on the man as he would be staring a bit too obvious that you have to raise your eyebrows and ask him continuously if you would change it or anything wrong with your look. He will wave it off as nothing or swiftly sing few lines for you to make you smile but inside his head the only thing is going on that why it is necessary for you to appear such perfectly for the meetings where all the eyes will be on you and he would not be there to glare them off. Lastly, he might just love you in outfits which are not too much revealing.

[ Please let me know if you like this sort of imagines, this is really my first time doing this sort of writings so idk how it turned out but I had fun. I want to make a NCT ver. on this so badly. Aldo, the other requests are in the queue to be posted soon. wait patiently babygorls, I'm back with all my out of world imaginations..... ]

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades [open!]

[mxtxfanatic]

I would also like the mdzs fandom to stop inventing turmoil between Jiang Fengmian and Jiang Yanli just because Jiang Fengmian had a strained relationship with Jiang Cheng. There’s nothing to say that the father-daughter duo had issues, that Jiang Fengmian was neglectful (to either of them, tbh), or that he was indifferent to his daughter's presence. You feeling like Jiang Yanli is disappeared into the background of her family life because she, like her father, doesn't have a lot of scenes is not supported by the canon. While we don’t get a lot of interactions between them (because there is literally no plot or conflict to highlight), what we do get is Jiang Fengmian sticking up for his daughter and terminating a marriage contract that his abusive wife set up, something even Jin Guangshan was afraid to do:

[Jiang Fengmian] told Jin Guangshan, “The engagement was originally made at the insistence of Ah-Li’s mother. I never agreed with it. Given what happened today, it seems both sides aren’t very fond of each other, so it’s best not to force the issue.” Startled, Jin Guangshan hesitated a bit. Regardless of the situation, ending an engagement with a member of another Great Clan was never a good thing. “What do children understand? Let them fight. Fengmian-xiong, we need not take notice.” “Jin-xiong, though we can help them arrange a marriage, we can’t live the marriage for them. In the end, they are the ones who will spend their lives together.” This marriage business wasn’t Jin Guangshan’s idea in the first place either. From the perspective of consolidating power through a marriage alliance, the Yunmeng Jiang Clan would not be his first choice, nor was it the best choice. The engagement had happened only because he was perpetually afraid of opposing his wife. But in any case, since the Jiang Clan had brought it up of their own accord, and Jin Clan was on the male side of the arrangement and thus had fewer things to be concerned about, it was not necessary to remain entangled. Besides, he knew Jin Zixuan wasn’t happy with having Jiang Yanli as his fiancée. After giving it serious consideration, Jin Guangshan found his backbone and he agreed.

—Chapt. 18: Elegance VIII, fanyiyi

We get him hand-making kites with her to decorate for Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, and the rest of the disciples to play with:

Back when Wei Wuxian lived at Lotus Pier, he had played the kite shooting game with the disciples of the Jiang Clan and had placed first many times. ... Jiang Fengmian had constructed the frame himself and Jiang Yanli had drawn the design. Thus, whenever Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng had taken their kites out to compete, they had felt a kind of pride.

—Chapt. 32: Morning Dew V, fanyiyi

We get them having family dinners often enough that Wei Wuxian seems worried that he would miss one right before the Wen show up to Lotus Pier:

Wei WuXian asked, “Uncle Jiang went out so early in the morning —why hasn’t he come back yet? Would he make it in time for dinner?”

—Chapt. 57: Poisons, exr

We get him having no qualms with Jiang Yanli's hobbies such as cooking, even seems eager to partake in her creations—if we assume he hasn't before:

With a smile, Jiang YanLi wiped Wei WuXian’s mouth and chin, and walked happily out with the bowl in her hands. Jiang FengMian sat down where she had been sitting. Glancing at the porcelain jar, he seemed as if he wanted to taste it as well, but the bowl had already been taken away by Jiang YanLi.

—Chapt. 56: Poisons, exr

The reason why Jiang Cheng thinks his father hates him is because he takes any whiff of disapproval from his father to mean hatred, a trait he picked up from and that is nourished by his mother's own insistence that Jiang Fengmian "must" hate her son for being like her:

The founder of the YunmengJiang Sect, Jiang Chi, was born a rogue cultivator. The ways of the sect were honest and unrestrained. Madam Yu’s manners were the exact opposite. And, both Jiang Cheng’s looks and personality took after his mother. He hadn’t ever been to Jiang FengMian’s liking. Since birth, he taught him in many ways, yet he still couldn’t change, which was why Jiang FengMian had always seemed as though he didn’t favor him too much.

—Chapt. 56: Poisons, exr

The founding father of the Jiang Clan of Yunmeng, Jiang Chi, came from a knight-errant background. The family was exuberant, honest, magnanimous, and carefree in its ways —all of which were in complete opposition to Madam Yu’s spirit. Jiang Cheng took after his mother in looks and personality, which had never been to Jiang Fengmian’s liking. He had tried to educate Jiang Cheng in a myriad of ways, but it had all been for naught. This was why it always appeared as though he didn’t favor his son.

—Volume 3, Chapt. 12: Sandu: The Three Poisons, 7seas

Notice how it doesn't say that Jiang Cheng, himself, was never to Jiang Fengmian's liking, but that Madam Yu and her personality type that Jiang Cheng inherited was never to his liking, and it only "seemed/appeared" that Jiang Fengmian did not favor his son because he spent a lot of time trying to correct Jiang Cheng's bad habits, something Jiang Cheng resented. Notice how it also does not say that Jiang Fengmian avoided or ignored his son. In fact, we are told that he tried different ways to teach Jiang Cheng, a futile action we see him still committed to even up to the fall of Lotus Pier. Jiang Fengmian never gave up on his son. Jiang Cheng gave up on himself as Jiang Fengmian's son. None of that has to do with how the Jiang Fengmian and Jiang Yanli interacted in life nor how Jiang Yanli felt about her parents in death, still visiting their tablets regularly to clean and talk to them:

Jiang YanLi was kneeling in the ancestral hall. She cleaned her parents’ memorial tablets as she whispered. Wei WuXian poked his head inside, “Shijie? Talking to Uncle Jiang and Madam Yu again?”

—Chapt. 71: Departure, exr

To say that Jiang Fengmian is a terrible father simply because Jiang Cheng is more comfortable believing his mother’s lies than understanding that unconditional love does not mean unconditional tolerance for poor behavior does Jiang Fengmian’s character a disservice. To say that Jiang Fengmian is a terrible father to Jiang Yanli based on Madam Yu and Jiang Cheng’s own fantasies of victimhood is just an extra unnecessary lie to give credence to an idea that the story proves untrue. At worst, Jiang Fengmian was a man reserved in physical displays of affection that could have stood to hug his son more if that was what Jiang Cheng truly wanted. But if we are being truthful, Jiang Fengmian's just a regular fucking guy juggling raising kids and leading a clan with deterring his abusive wife from turning his home into a battlefield any time she deigns to show her face. Whatever issue you think Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng should have with their upbringing, the locus of the problem is named Yu Ziyuan, not Jiang Fengmian.

[deeplyshalllow]

Hi! I've seen some fans, in my opinion, completely misunderstand Elphaba telling Glinda in the deleted scene that choosing Fiyero was a "mistake." They are taking that to mean she would've preferred bringing Glinda and hates that she chose Fiyero?

I saw her calling it a "mistake" as her 1, sparing Glinda's feelings, and 2, she called it that because it was the event that made her feelings for her BEST FRIENDS BOYFRIEND grow, so of course she has some regrets. 😅 She loves Glinda, her not choosing Glinda doesn't devalue how she views their friendship, she just subconsciously knew Fiyero genuinely cared for the same cause.

I love your takes, so I was just wondering as to what your thoughts exactly were in that scene?

^ Video for context

(Firstly, apologies if I repeat some of the same things you’ve already said, I had a lot of thoughts about this scene and I just wanted to get them down and it was easier writing this as a bit of a scene analysis rather than just a direct response)

*Checks there’s no Gelphie fans holding sharp objects in hearing range*

Ok let me begin.

I’m glad it was cut.

I don’t think it was a very good scene. I think it doesn’t really make sense with the train station scene (there’s no way Glinda would still think Fiyero was distant and moodified about Dillamond if she knew this) and it introduces Galinda’s suspicions about Elphaba and Fiyero too early (I like the scene with her waking up and noticing they were both gone, I like the scene where she notices the moment between them at the train station, I want the niggling doubts in her mind, but something big like this doesn’t feel right pre-interval).

Saying that, I don’t think it’s saying what the Gelphie fans think it was saying.

I actually think it’s a fairly selfish scene from Galinda’s perspective. She’s upset because she was left out – which I do understand, but she’s failing to see the bigger picture. There was a sentient, intelligent, being in danger and it got saved and, instead of being happy about that or even asking if the Cub was ok, her first reaction is “but what about me?” Contrast this to Fiyero not even listening to Elphaba’s panic in the Lion Cub scene, because he’s seen an opportunity to get it to safety, or Elphaba who immediately joins him. Their first priority is about the Animal – any focus on feelings or why this happened doesn’t come until the Lion Cub appears to be safe.

And let’s imagine, for a second, the scene of Galinda in the Lion Cub scene. She would go with Elphaba, I believe that much, though it would not be Galinda who made the first move the way it was for Fiyero. She’d be discouraging Elphaba from doing it at least at first “Elphie, we’re going to get in so much trouble!” and she’d be busy complaining about going through the forest in heels. There probably would be some concern for the Lion Cub, in so much that it’s cute and small and vulnerable, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t end up asking “are we sure that the teacher isn’t right that the cage is for his own good?” Galinda doesn’t like challenging the status quo and is known to downplay atrocities (hell, we see in the train station scene that she refers to Doctor Dillamond being literally dragged away by guards as an “old Goat” that she was surprised Fiyero cared so much about who was “fired”).

Her insistence that “you could have picked me” isn’t one of her genuinely thinking she had the ability to help in that situation. It’s that she’s uncomfortable that her best friend and her boyfriend shared something she didn’t, that Elphaba (quite rightly given the circumstance) didn’t immediately turn to her for help. There also possibly is a hint of her realising here (if, I think, subconsciously) that Elphaba and Fiyero might have feelings for each other, and reacting to try and prevent it.

From Elphaba’s side, she is feeling guilty for having feelings for her best friend’s boyfriend. She first tries to downplay it “he just helped me rescue the Cub,” and then, on further pushing, apologises, says it was a mistake and promises to “pick” Galinda next time.

How do we know that it was a matter of her feeling guilty over feelings for Fiyero rather than thinking it was a “mistake” that she “picked” Fiyero? BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T PICK HIM! We know that she didn’t have any control over the spell, we know she was just as surprised as Fiyero when he didn’t fall asleep with the others. The only reason she wouldn’t have said “I didn’t pick him, he must have been immune to my spell for some reason, maybe he took a lot of hay fever tablets that day,” is because the mistake is not about that. The mistake was letting Fiyero get close enough at all that she caught feelings for him (perhaps even ones she sort of knew she was brewing – given the cut Boq train station scene implies that he’s noticed too and they’ve all be hanging together for a while before this point).

Therefore, her promise to Galinda is not about trusting her, or thinking she’d have been a better person to save the Lion Cub with, it’s about making it up to Galinda, and proving to herself that she will never do something that might hurt Galinda again.

And Defying Gravity proves that Galinda was indeed the wrong person to be “picked”. We see Elphaba and Glinda in a very similar situation to the Lion Cub scene, they’re breaking the law for the good of the Animals. Firstly, Glinda doesn’t even follow Elphaba until Morrible tells her to “get her back”(again, Fiyero takes the lead in the Lion Cub scene, he’d have saved the Cub without her), then she tells Elphaba to come back, that she’s out of her mind and, while she does clearly flirt with the idea of joining Elphaba, not only does she quickly back down, it’s never, never about truly believing, or even fully understanding, why Elphaba wants to go.

Ultimately, the promise scene is a tragic one, it’s the first scene where we see how different both girls’ morals really are. They’re making the promise for two different, selfish reasons, that have more to do with their own insecurities than actual belief in each other, and it’s a promise that gets broken before the end of the movie.

It’s also worth noting that Glinda even has another chance to keep this promise in Act 2. In the throne room scene, she could have gone with Elphaba and Fiyero – it would have been easy to say “me too” when Fiyero says he’s going with her, but it doesn’t even occur to her. Meanwhile Fiyero, again, has already stepped up, willingly giving away his palace life, reputation and become a traitor to Oz to ensure Elphaba gets away safely.

Fiyero was always the right person to pick in the Lion Cub scene.

[twig-tea]

Taiwanese Talk Show The BL Era

Thank you @thisonelikesaliens for shouting out the Taiwanese talk show miniseries The BL Era: Taiwan's Spotlight, it was really well put together and gave me some good insights into the Taiwanese BL market. And thanks @my-rose-tinted-glasses for pointing out Aliens' posts to me when I've been mostly off tumblr.

Aliens has posted about all of the episodes on their tag, which I recommend going through (all of the episodes are linked there).

Here are my main takeaways from all 6 episodes, in case it helps anyone decide if they want to watch/which eps may be of most interest:

Ep1 on Unknown and The On1y One: The discussion about the adaptation choices in both of these shows (as both of these were adapted from danmei) was really interesting, though the lack of discussion about where to end the first season of On1y One was glaring to me. I did like that this episode talked about what made both of these stand out (the build of the feelings between the characters) and how much emphasis this episode put on good writing. There was an offhand comment that Director Liu Kuang Hi made about not needing a shower scene that made me wonder if he regretted that scene in Your Name Engraved Herein (I for one am very glad it was in the film as a critical character moment). That last bit is just me speculating BTW, I don't mean to put words in his mouth.

Ep2 on HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count: It was new information for me that this aired in a time where Taiwanese culture more broadly was interested in tragic stories, I liked having that additional context. Also I was interested to hear confirmed by writers and creators that there was a lot of pressure post-MODC to write only happy endings, though some of the fans interviewed talked about how a sad ending can be acceptable if it's earned. This was such a tumultuous experience for BL fandom, if you didn't experience it in real time I recommend watching this episode to get a sense of the impact.

Ep3 on VBL: This was my favourite episode of the series; it was the most interesting to me because it got into a side of the business I really don't pay a lot of attention to: Fandom management outside of the series itself. I learned a lot about the VBL series including that it was produced in partnership with a Japanese company and that it was the first BL since 2018 to air on TV in Taiwan. I also hadn't realized that this company had worked hard to build fandom around the pairs outside of the show itself, and that was a part of why it was so successful. I had no idea that this set of shows did such a good job managing fan engagement. It was really interesting hearing the network person talk about how they think about the show as just one part of a whole that they are selling, and how managing how it lands and what impact it has and what trends is another part. All of that was fascinating. I also liked hearing the actors talk about what it's like being in a CP. This episode did not hold back that the writing in the VBL series felt shallow and that the actors were green, which I was impressed by--I appreciate creators who acknowledge their own gaps especially when they then talk about wanting to see those improve.

Ep4 on Kiseki: Dear to Me: Placing this right after the VBL episode was smart because they talked about the effect of the fanmeet flop and its subsequent handling failure and the impact on the show, which is given more context from the previous ep. I knew almost nothing about this other than that the pressure on the secondary CP in this show was high, so getting this BTS insight into what happened from fan and industry perspective was fascinating. I did not realize that Taiwanese BL producers experienced expectations formed by Thai fanmeets (which differ from Taiwanese fanmeet styles) from both international fans and from Taiwanese BL fans. The framing of expectation and the question of whether Taiwan should follow the Thai model or just do its own thing but better set expectations in advance is an interesting one.

Ep5 on HIStory 2: I'm so glad HIStory 2 got some attention because it's my favourite season that I rewatch regularly. The news that they had a plan to have an check-in on the family from Right or Wrong hurts my heart; how dare they pain me with this info. That being said, the actor Steven Chiang writing what is essentially fanfic for his own character made me very happy. The idea of the Thai market being a one-stop shop and Taiwan still experimenting with small producers that don't have a production line or 360 business model was very interesting. I also loved the Taiwanese pride in this episode, and the frustration that came through when they were talking about how Taiwan has great IP to adapt too, it's just hard to get it off the ground. It was smart to end on this episode, as a speculation on how Taiwanese BL should move forward in the context of everything above: Its legacy, it's fumbles, the international pressures and the realities of the Taiwanese industry. Also, LIN PEI YU PRODUCING A TAIWANESE GL IN 2025?! GIVE IT TO ME!!!

[sea-owl]

I was just thinking about the whole Debling vs Colin thing and I kinda wanted to point this out.

Debling and Colin are actually both perfect for Penelope but different sides to her.

Debling is Lady Whistledown's perfect match while Colin is Penelope's perfect match.

Debling has work he leaves for years to do, passions that take up more of his heart than any living human would. He left behind his own family who he says never understood him but that's all we know. He wants a wife to take care of the estate and the home front. He doesn't read Whistledown, meaning he won't ever see any similarities between Penelope's writing and Lady Whistledown's. If Penelope was truly Lady Whistledown all the time like the switch was flipped and never turned off, then this is a perfect life for her. On her own, left alone, and can run her business without interference. If she wants, she can fudge the numbers a little bit to hide some of her own money away in the estate. She'll have children one day that she'll love. She will be secured. She will also continue the status quo of her life before of being alone in her own home, and I would make the argument becoming more like Portia as time would go on. Now, don't get me wrong. Debling is a good man, but he is also Lord Featherington in a different font. Penelope already knows what life with Lord Debling would look like she's seen it in her parents' marriage, in her father. Lord Featherington put his own passions before his family as well, and while he never physically left, that man completely dissociated around his family. Again this type of life would be perfect for Lady Whistledown but Penelope rightfully so hesitates.

Colin, on the other hand, while he has his own passions, will still put someone he loves first. He's willing to be there to support them if they need it. He has a close bond with his family and wants to open that bond to any potential spouse that may be folded in. Once he knows his feelings, he's not afraid to show them. He's affectionate and sensitive to others. He also I noticed forgives rather quickly meaning he has the ability to see from someone else's perspective. This is someone Penelope has dreamed of for years, and frankly kind of needs. She's been emotionally starved of affection and never has seen or heard acts of love outside the few she's had from the Bridgertons. She was raised on tough love and never really shown softness before. Colin can give her that softness, that love, and happiness. But Colin is also a horrible match for Lady Whistledown. He is always in Penelope's business and space, and if not him, another member of his family would be. All in good faith, they watch out for one another, but it would make Penelope's absence a lot more noticeable. Penelope will also be shoved in the spotlight as well marrying in and while she has craved the potential change it makes her work much harder. His disdain for Whistledown as well has been well spoken to others. He also potentially has the clues to piece together Penelope's identity. He has her letters and Lasy Whistledown is not hard to get either. If Penelope accidentally made any mistakes in either writings, like similar phrasing or she reused something from his letters in Whistledown he could clue it together. He will most likely be angry at first but I also think given time to cool off he be willing to hear her out. He's already shown he's not afraid to fight for her so what's one more round?

And the funny thing is Colin has the potential to be Lady Whistledown's match as well. He's a good writer and has been shown to engage in gossip, too. He moves fluidly around the ton, charming them and easily communicating with them. His strengths compliment can help boost where Penelope has a weakness. They can very easily become true partners, Lord and Lady Whistledown. We first just have to get Colin to warm up to the idea.

[rosinchenbroetchen]

"Cooler than me?"

"Nah, that's impossible"

Summary: You are friends with Hobie, but he'd like to be more than this. Out of jealousy and perhaps insecurity, Hobie holds back from making his move despite pining deeply.

An old sfw Hobie Brown x Reader fic, first posted on ao3

this is the second chapter, the first chapter (the story from the reader's perspective) can be found here. can be read as a stand-alone, though.

Word count: 3476

The math teacher is blabbering on about some test Hobie couldn't care less about. The only thing actually keeping him here is the person sitting next to him. His gaze falls on them, he takes in the concentrated look on their face as they note down the topics of said upcoming test. Their hair falls perfectly onto their adorable face and the afternoon sun shining through the windows perfectly accentuates their features. He frowns a little when he realizes that he is not the only one enjoying this view; the boy on their other side is gazing at them, too. Hobie can't tell if the look in the boy's eyes is admiration or love, but either way, he doesn't like it.

Hobie's thoughts are interrupted by the bell ringing. He looks away but doesn't move from his place, calmly watching all the students hurry out of the classroom. All of them except for two. Him and them. They have already packed their things and seem to be waiting for him. He looks away, feeling the aftermath of the one-nighter he spent thinking about his life, capitalism, but most of all them in his bones.

"Hey, Hobie!"

Their voice is sweeter than honey, even when they aren't trying to sound sweet.

"Hm?"

"Class is over, come on!"

Hobie watches as they go over to his desk and start picking up his things and packing them into his bag.

What have I done to deserve such a nice friend?

And yet, he still wants more, though he is already getting more than he should.

He thinks if he wasn't looking at them, he would've probably already rested his tired eyes, but they literally and figuratively are a sight for sore eyes. But it's not just that. He has no idea what it is, but something about them is different. They're like a person with all the qualities Hobie could ever want in a partner.

A partner.

A partner?

Hobie never really likes to think in labels like that, but labelling them as a partner, or somebody he is in a relationship with somehow just sounds... right to him.

"Come on, now."

Their voice makes Hobie snap out of his thoughts again and take the hand that they are offering him. They pull him up and let go way too quickly for Hobie's liking. Sometimes, he can't help but be selfish when it comes to their attention. He slings his bag over his shoulder. They usher him out of the classroom.

The halls are busy as a bee hive, but not nearly as organized as one. Hobie drowns out the noise, focusing all his attention on them. He thinks about what it would be like if they held hands.

He knows that he would love to.

But would they?

The two exit the school, walking back home together. Hobie notices that their steps are light and their pace is quicker than his. They seem to have something on their mind.

Are they excited for the weekend?

Why?

Whenever he doesn't have music, there's nothing but the thought of them to distract him from less pleasant aspects of his life. Lost in his thoughts, he recalls the first time he walked home with them. He still remembers it as clear as day:

It was a rainy afternoon. Hobie was taking rather slow steps, letting the cold rain drops sink into his clothes. His shoes made strange squeaky noises and Hobie could only hope that the rain wouldn't severely damage the leather on both his shoes and jacket. The make-up he had put on was only semi-waterproof and starting to smudge. He looked over to his side when he heard quick steps catch up to him. He recognized their face: the person who was sat next to him in math class! They were looking away and Hobie was about to ask what they wanted of him when they held their umbrella over his head. He smiled nonchalantly at the considerate gesture.

"Sorry if this is awkward, I just thought- We know each other from our math class, right? I didn't want you to freeze out in the rain."

Hobie nodded, sensing the nervousness in their tone.

Their cheeks were flushed from the cold and so was their nose. Hobie thought it was cute.

Hobie looks beside him. Right now, they are seemingly still thinking about something.

Almost automatically, Hobie asks, much like every Friday: "So, can I stay at yours for the weekend?"

He waits patiently for a response, but gets none. He looks over to them, slightly irritated. They are still thinking about something, staring into nothingness with a small smile on their face. This isn't exactly an unusual occurrence; Hobie often catches them in the middle of a daydream.

"Hey, you listening?", Hobie asks as he waves his hand in front of their face.

They blink and shake their head, getting back to the current situation, away from their thoughts of whatever made them so happy.

"Sorry, what were you saying?"

"I asked if I could stay at yours for the weekend."

"Yeah. Haven't asked my parents, but I'm sure they're ok with it."

Hobie nods, internally grateful that they don't ask why or what is going on in his home. It is a sensitive topic for him and they understand. He appreciates how considerate they are.

Hobie is glad that he doesn't have to get anything from his place since a lot of his stuff is already in their closet or bathroom.

His mind wanders and he thinks about what they would look like in his clothes.

Do they ever think of trying them on?

He wouldn't stop them.

Upon entering your place, Hobie takes his shoes off and neatly puts them aside. The first few steps without the extra three inches feel a little weird, but he manages.

When he hears their mother mention that she has already cooked for one extra person, his chest grows warmer, knowing that your family cares about him, almost as if he were a member of it.

Hobie gobbles the food down, thankful for every last spoonful. He isn't quite sure if he offers to wash the dishes to show his gratitude or out of politeness. Maybe he just wanted to have fun with his best friend. That he did, because once the dishes are done, the two of them run up the stairs in wet, soapy clothes, giggling and playfully fighting. He opens his eyes, which are teary from laughing, and wishes he could remember this moment forever. They look so beautiful, despite disheveled hair and wet clothes. There's a fuzzy feeling in his stomach and although he wishes it were from his body still getting used to the new, radioactive blood that is running through his veins, he knows better.

The both of them change in the same room, not caring for privacy when half of their days are spent around one another anyway.

Hobie, who is done changing before them, catches himself admiring their body. He wants to slap himself for it, but he can't resist the eye candy in front of him. Once the T-shirt is over their head, he quickly looks away and they flop down onto the bed.

He does the same thing, lying down beside them. Hobie's eyes are close to fluttering shut and he knows that he needs to occupy his mind with something to not fall asleep.

"Got any ideas?" Hobie asks, turning his head to look at them.

When they do the same thing, his breath hitches slightly and his stomach does a cartwheel. Their face is so close to his. It would be so easy to lean in and kiss them.

"Uhh, not really. Study maybe?"

That's right, he asked them a question. Hobie groans in embarrassment, rolling over so his back is turned to them. His mind wanders so easily when he is around them. It is almost scary how captivating love could be.

"So that's a no?"

Not really, anything could be fun if he did it with them.

"Hm."

"You know we have to."

"We don't have to."

He rolls back onto his other side, now facing them again. He had underestimated how close his face would be to theirs and he is sure he can feel his pupils dilating. They think for a minute, practically scanning his smug face with their eyes. Instead of an answer, Hobie only gets a shake of the head before they look back at the ceiling way too soon for his liking. They are often the one to pull away sooner than Hobie wants them to - perhaps they are uncomfortable with the thought of being so close to someone they consider a friend. That's why Hobie always lets them, afraid of losing the person that means the most to him.

They grin as their gaze stays glued to the ceiling.

Why can't they look at him? He's far cooler than the ceiling.

He shifts to lie on his stomach, afraid that he will fall asleep if he doesn't move around a bit. That would be embarrassing. Controlled by the need for them to pay attention to him, he starts poking their arm. He knows exactly how to annoy them just enough so that they give in without getting too mad or annoyed. It works right now, just like every time, but not in the way he expected.

"If you're that bored, then studying would be an efficient way to spend your time, no?"

Hobie stops poking them. This is not what he was expecting. He was expecting something like doing each other's manicure or makeup.

They get up, searching for their math book with a slouched posture. They want to do this just as little as he does. Well, them being his teacher does make this better, though.

Hobie rolls and closes his eyes. Their body dips into the soft mattress of the bed. They don't open the book, though. Hobie opens his eyes, asking himself what they are doing. They're looking at him.

"Did you pay attention in class at all or should I explain it to you?"

Say something funny, something snarky.

"Enlighten me."

A snort escapes them and Hobie's lips curl into a small grin. They liked the joke, good. While they explain, Hobie's gaze always darts back to their lips, no matter how many times he tries to look away. They might think he's just watching them talk, but he's not even registering half of their words. Hobie hears their voice, but he doesn't pay attention to the boring math they are explaining to him. He thinks of telling them how he feels, of kissing those soft lips right in front of him, but he quickly pushes those fantasies away. Those things are never going to happen. Not in this universe, certainly not. The memory of the boy next to them come back. Hobie suppresses a scowl at the thought, deciding to actually listen to them, now. He already knows all of this, though. Despite seemingly never listening, he can concentrate on what the teacher is saying while looking at them or thinking of lyrics for new songs. Lately, all of those have been sappy love songs. His bandmates have noticed and teased him for it. They don't understand, they haven't seen or talked to them.

They close the book and look into his eyes.

"Do you understand now?"

He already knew before they explained, but he still enjoyed listening to them talk. He wants to compliment them, make them smile and feel good about themselves. While he was actually listening, Hobie noticed that their sentences were coherent and easy to follow.

"Yeah. You're good at explaining things, you know that?"

They smile at the compliment. Their smile is so beautiful.

"Oh, really?"

"Of course, I wouldn't say it if it wasn't true, would I?"

Hobie smirks, stating the obvious. He's never really been a people pleaser, telling people what they want to hear. Instead, he often speaks his mind - as long as he knows it's safe to.

"You're right. Think you'll ace the test now?"

"If I'm even showing up, yes."

Of course he's showing up. He wouldn't miss an opportunity to be next to them. The test won't change that. He's definitely coming.

"You can't just leave me hanging like that! I'm not going to survive a lesson of maths without some company."

They dramatically let themselves fall back into the mattress, a little sigh escaping them.

"I'll think about it."

Hobie smiles, already having made up his mind. Of course he's coming. If he said that, it wouldn't seem cool, though, right? He keeps up his nonchalant exterior and pours his feelings into song lyrics instead of telling them. He never thought of himself as a coward, but he is, in a way. He doesn't think he could bare to lose them, so he pretends to be content just being their friend. Their best friend, actually.

While Hobie thinks about his feelings, he subconsciously starts playing with his lip piercing. He needs a distraction from these thoughts.

"I'm bored."

"Then think of something we could do."

We could kiss.

They sigh, probably out of boredom. Now, without distractions, Hobie's thoughts drift back to the guy from maths. He was a normal, regular dude. Much more normal than Hobie. He wonders, do they like more 'normal' guys?

"You know that guy that sits next to you in maths?"

"You mean yourself?"

Hobie shakes his head. "No, no. Your other side."

"What about him?"

Is that a blush on their face? Hobie hopes it isn't at the mention of him.

"I think he likes you."

"What? Why?"

"He's always ogling you. You've never noticed?"

They huff. "Well, I am busy listening to the teacher most of the lesson."

"Hm. You'll have to pay attention to him next time."

"Pff. I Don't think I've ever really interacted with him. I think he'll get over it. Besides, I have my heart set on someone else already."

Oh.

Ouch.

For a moment, Hobie's heart stops. He wants to be happy for them, but it's hard. Normally, he's pretty good at concealing his feelings but his tired mind isn't helping. Hobie forces a smirk and shifts to sit up. He leans over them. Might as well find out who stole their heart before he could.

"Who? Do I know them?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Well, then tell me. Come on!"

"Oh, I'm starting to notice I shouldn't have told you."

They cover their face with their hands, embarrassed. Hobie takes their hands away, gentle but firm.

"Exactly. Tell me!"

The least you could do is tell me. Please.

"Well, he's, uh, tall, handsome and very cool."

"Cooler than me?" Hobie jokes. He chuckles, but it's very clear that he doesn't feel like it. He's always been the type to joke in serious conversations.

"Nah, that's impossible."

If that guy isn't cooler than him, then why is he better?

"And what's his name?"

"That's not important."

What?

"Hm? If it's not important, you could just tell me, no?"

"I- I don't know his name."

They look away and it's clear that they're lying. Hobie squints his eyes, expressing his suspicion. Could it be? No, they can't possibly be talking about him - right? Hobie smirks. Why would they hide it from him if the person they liked wasn't him? His heart beats faster in his chest, blood rushing to his cheeks.

"You're lying." Hobie smirks, still not completely sure if they like him.

They sigh, furrowing their brows. He hopes they don't notice the rather desperate look on his face. He chews on his lip.

"Yeah, I am."

"Why?"

The silence says more than a thousand words. Hobie can clearly see the frustration in their features; their furrowed brows and clenched jaw, just like their nails digging into their thighs subconsciously. It's very obvious now why they were lying. All Hobie wants to do is to tell them that he loves them more than words could ever describe. He wants to show them all of the songs he wrote in math class, an attempt to do just that: put his love into words. He would probably be embarrassed, but maybe they would smile at the lyrics and give him a kiss and would make it worth his embarrassment. Maybe. But what if he's all wrong? What if there was another reason for them to lie?

Please, say something. Even if the truth hurts, I want to know it. I can't take this.

...

"I like you, okay? I didn't want you to know because I know that you see us as friends."

Really? He's not dreaming? He didn't fall asleep while listening to the new math topic?

He bites his lip a little harder than earlier, feeling a small sting. He is not dreaming. Quick, answer them!

Before he can answer, they scowl, quickly sitting up. Hobie has to move away, as he was still leaning over them. They look away.

"That's not true."

They look back at him. Their eyes are glossy, like they're about to cry.

Don't cry.

There's not a lot of things that can make Hobie genuinely upset, but seeing them cry? He doesn't think he'd be able to hold his own tears back.

"What's not true?" Their tone is laced with confusion and hurt. Hobie doesn't often get sentimental, talking about his feelings. Doing just that is the best thing he can do for them -and himself- right now, though.

"I... I don't just see us two as friends. I know I know I always say that I hate labels, but it's different when it comes to us two. I don't know why, but I wouldn't mind labelling myself as something like your partner or boyfriend or whatever, I don't care about these words, but what I know is that I wanna be with you."

It's easier for him to admit this while staring down at his lap, clasping his clammy hands together. After he's done, he searches their eyes, waiting for a reaction. They stay quiet, processing his response. His heart is beating quickly again, hammering against his chest. The sound rings in his ears and he's convinced they can hear it too. He doesn't even know why he's so nervous. They confessed first, of course they like him. But what will they do? Is it just one of those crushes where you can't even imagine yourself really being with the person?

Hobie is surprised when they pull him by his big T-shirt to hug him closely. He reciprocates their affection, resting his head on their shoulder. Hobie can hear them suppress a sneeze when they rest their head on his shoulder. His hair is probably tickling their nose. Cute.

He wishes he had hugged them like this before, he really didn't know what he was missing out on. Their body is soft in his hands, just like he had imagined those nights that he just couldn't manage to fall asleep. Both of their hearts beat against each other. It feels very good be so close to someone -scratch that, close to them, Hobie didn't know he needed this until now. He can't make himself let go, only loosening his grip when they do. Just like always, they pull back first. But this time, not too soon for Hobie's liking. Even after the hug, they are still so close to him. Their face is dangerously close to his, too. Hobie takes in the sight of their face. There was never a reason to be jealous of the guy in maths class. He might get to see them concentrated on solving equations or raising their hand eagerly, but he will never get to see their face like this, flushed after hugging him, eyes yearning for more. While Hobie admires them, they take their hands off of his back, instead cupping his cheeks. Without even having to think, he leans in. They nod, closing their eyes just like him. The kiss is slow and sensual. Hobie enjoys every moment; the warmth of their lips, the feel of their skin and the amount of love they put into each of their movements. Hobie smirks, slowly pushing his tongue into their mouth to show them his rather freshly pieced tongue. He's lucky it's healed already, otherwise he wouldn't have been able to feel this sensation. When the both of them pull away, Hobie feels that the cheeks in his hands are hotter than before. His are, too.

Nothing could hold back the smile tugging at his lips. Hobie hadn't thought they would like someone like him. He can't put into words how happy he is about having been wrong.

"I'll totally go to school on Monday. Just to see you, though."