#like exercise. exercise hurts.
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being chosen as the dedicated sadist because you're actually a masochist and know the best techniques
#best being a synonym for safest#once devised a whole infosite called Safe Harmā¢#i never implemented it though because my job sucked out all of my creative energy and i didn't finish it#it's a pun on self-harm; the idea was to provide methods of inducing pain but in moderateā healthy ways as a form of therapy#like exercise. exercise hurts.#spicy peppers are just capsaicin oils binding to specific ātaste budā receptors to signal heat pain;#they don't directly cause ulcers like once believed and even has some minor plausibility in promoting the body's ability to heal#things like that#i don't personally self harm for emotional relief or self therapy. and i don't want to be in pain all the time.#just as a disclaimer.#i don't judge or look down on the cutters or punchers or scratchers or immolators; I love you and genuinely want to help#but i don't participate in methods that cause or could potentially cause permanent injury#but there are moments/periods where the desire is there and present and exciting.#And sometimes it's not an appropriate moment and there's no struggle to resist;#and usually that resistance has the urge go away for another 2 or so months with zero mental or emotional regret or other negative impact.#for meā in those momentsā pain is fun. and it doesn't matter if it's real or simulated. it's just gotta be safe.#also i didn't finish the safe harm site also because I was not trying to glamorize self-harm.#i was trying to destigmatize it and give safe alternatives#but#it was mostly taken as glamorizing and romanticizing unsafe coping mechanisms#so I opted to just not continue it if my creative determination returned#op
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(:Ģ²Ģ
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a monthās worth of whump prompts ]Ģ²Ģ
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Ā¹ā¾ blood swirling down a shower drain
Ā²ā¾ stitches on a cheekbone
Ā³ā¾ fingertips numb from cold
ā“ā¾ painkillers and a cup of tea left on a nightstand
āµā¾ a thick plaster cast
ā¶ā¾ canine teeth tipped with blood
ā·ā¾ a bruise in the shape of a boot print
āøā¾ dried tear tracks
ā¹ā¾ an inescapable migraine
Ā¹ā°ā¾ sunglasses over a bruised eye
Ā¹Ā¹ā¾ scars littering the expanse of a back
Ā¹Ā²ā¾ bloodied teeth
Ā¹Ā³ā¾ skinned knees
Ā¹ā“ā¾ a torn-apart first aid kit
Ā¹āµā¾ frozen peas pressed against a fresh bruise
Ā¹ā¶ā¾ brambles and twigs knotted into hair
Ā¹ā·ā¾ lipstick and a split lip
Ā¹āøā¾ an especially improvised tourniquet
Ā¹ā¹ā¾ blood seeping through clothes
Ā²ā°ā¾ a heart monitor
Ā²Ā¹ā¾ unbearable nausea
Ā²Ā²ā¾ a hoarse throat
Ā²Ā³ā¾ blood under fingernails
Ā²ā“ā¾ a thermometer between bitten lips
Ā²āµā¾ hands soothing over a shaking frame
Ā²ā¶ā¾ a twisted ankle on the side of a mountain
Ā²ā·ā¾ cuddling for warmth
Ā²āøā¾ thin hospital blankets
Ā²ā¹ā¾ broken glass
Ā³ā°ā¾ a knife pressed against a throat
Ā³Ā¹ā¾ night terrors
#not assigning it a month bc i donāt feel like iāll do multiple but. enjoy <3 a fantasy one is on the way 2!!#prompts#whump prompts#whump writing prompts#whump rp meme#whump writing#prompt list#writing prompts#writing exercise#rp meme#hurt/comfort writing prompts#hurt/comfort rp meme#hurt comfort prompts#hurt/comfort prompts#hurt/no comfort#hurt/comfort#angst prompts#angst writing prompts#angst meme
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hey guys did you know that doing stretches and exercises makes your body feel better? it's crazy, they should tell people about this it's so wild.
#everyone talks about noticable benefits from exercise like they're long term things you frgrind for but like#I've been doing 15 mins of v basic core stuff while laying around on my bed for half a week and it no longer hurts to lean 45 degrees#marina marvels at life
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Imagining Denki being casted as the villain in a training exercise and after plenty of confirmation that he should be acting like a villain would 100 percent and he doesn't need to play nice and for the love of GOD Kaminari just do the fucking exercise already, he takes one of his classmates hostage during the fight to get away from the heroes (his other classmates)
Holding his fingers up to the classmates head, threatening to electrocute their brain into mush, even shocking them a teeny bit to show he's "serious", he actually manages to get his classmates to lower their weapons and shoots a truly harmless amount of electricity into his hostage's back to stun them as he pushes them at the heroes and makes a run for it
At the end of the exercise, he gets a really good grade for his skills in undercover work
Because if I can't give him my theatrics what even is the point
#āDenki took Jirou (just the first classmate to come to mind here) hostage#that was so underhanded and sucky!ā#āActually#that was really good work and Kaminari is getting an Aā#āWhat?ā#āIt was?!? I am?!!???ā#āYou convinced your class#who knows you would never hurt Jirou#to put down their weapons to save her#you managed to show enough force to make it look like you were actually willing to hurt her without ever actually doing anything that would#you played the part of a villain so well that even your friends treated you as an actual threat whether they meant to or not#That was excellent undercover work Kaminari. Good work.ā#āHoly crap#really!?ā#āJust sit down and take the damn gradeā#denki kaminari#jirou kyouka#aizawa shouta#bnha#mha#villain denki#but its just for a training exercise hes not really evil
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Trans women. I'm grabbing you by the shoulders and yelling. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE SKINNY TO BE FEMININE AND PRETTY AND CUTE. PLEASE STOP MAKING DIETS PART OF YOUR TRANSITION GOALS. WEIGHT LOSS IS A SCAM. I LOVE YOU. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES. YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.
#I see so many transfems say they want to have āflat stomachsā or do diet and exercise regimes to try and get an āhourglass figureā#and it really worries me. girls you do not have to destroy yourselves to fit into unachievable beauty standards#the vast majority of cis women don't even fit those standards#and the same goes for you transmascs! I see you! I see you trying to get smaller chests and hurting yourselves with weight loss routines#and excessive workouts. it's not worth it. weight loss has OVER a 90% long-term failure rate and there's a reason for that#I assure you whatever diet you think you've found that āworks for youā won't be working so well 5 years from now#and you're going to blame yourself for āslacking offā. but it's not you. it was never you. it was designed to fail.#these standards are made to hurt people and then sell them a false solution at the price of your health#I encourage you to transition if you'd like and live your best life I really do. but please please please do so SAFELY.#if weight loss is part of your transition goals please reevaluate WHY you believe thinness is necessary for achieving femininity#(or masculinity or androgyny but this stuff particularly affects women in the way it's marketed)#do research on fatphobia and the roots of weight loss culture. Learn where these ideas come from and why they're so prevalent.#It's extremely important#take care. stay safe. love you very much#trans#fat liberation#transgender#lgbt#trans rights#fat positivity#diet culture#fatphobia#transfem#trans positivity#transgirl#trans women#trans woman
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slowly but surelyā¦ šš„š„ another wip of my wintersberg piece
#trained so well in the gym yesterday that my whole body now hurts... i added weight to a lot of exercises#and yesterday i did a deep push-up from knees for the first time!! i did push-ups right to the floor! i've never been able to do this before#bc i've always had weak arms but the exercises in the gym helped me achieve this i was so glad ššš#although my right hand with suspected carpal tunnel syndrome was unhappy šµāš«šµāš« it began to hurt... but!! if usually it can hurt for#half a day after push-ups then this time it was for only a minute - exercises with an expander helped me! i do it for a two weeks now almost#everyday. i'm so glad that exercise is effective in my life and has a positive effect on my health. i really like to do this#train thinking about my favorite imaginary men thinking āi want to be like themā lol šš#and listening to either a bimbo playlist or some hard rock where they yell in your ears ahaha nothing in between#0039pf shitposts#wintersberg#re8#karl heisenberg#resident evil#re8 heisenberg
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im being so so brave but also i am gripping you by the shoulders and leaning in and letting you know i am so tired of being brave
#my job has invented new and even more agonizing ways to make itself stressful to endure#and that isn't even counting the fact that i've now seriously fucked up my wrist transporting 30lb boxes up and down stairs#or the fact that i occasionally get piercing shoulder pains if i'm not super careful about how i use the hand truck#or the fact that whenever i come home on mondays my entire lower body is so sore that i can't move beyond a weak shuffle#it's the fact that my boss has no sense of organization#so my supervisor and i are basically salvaging or starting from scratch every week#it's the fact that some of our clients are asking for things we're not even contracted to provide#like access to our company materials or additional resources outside of our scheduled bookings#and that there's this constant looming threat of 'ohhh don't be bad at your job!! or else we'll lose our contract with these people!!'#but 'bad at your job' in this case means 'not bending over backwards to accommodate the least accommodating circumstances possible'#like 'hey you need to lead this training exercise meant for 20 people except actually you only have 4 people'#'and actually none of them are familiar with the prerequisites for this training or have any experience with the skills'#'and also none of them want to be there and half of them just Don't Do These Things as a rule'#'and if you try to make them do anything they don't want to do (even if it's literally the point of the training) they Will leave'#'and then we will no longer have enough clients to pay you'#like. what am i doing. this company was not designed to work with this format. we're not an arts and crafts group or a club meeting#hi so i wrote this post before starting weekend work prep#it has been 3 hours now#im still not done#i haven't eaten and my wrist hurts so bad#i need to.................. take a break................................
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"This is how it should be"
#bonne art#digital art#art#fanart#persona 3#persona 3 reload#shinjiro aragaki#ken amada#my wrist hurts but i liked the sketch so i did something simple#it's october 4th so we cry#i've been watching the musical a lot lately. i really like how Shinji shields Ken there#I'll go make some exercises for my wrist/elbow pain and cry brb#also#persona 3 spoilers#spoiler tagged so we safe
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my body is in complete shock. i have never done an athletic thing in my entire life and just decide to pick up ice skating. holy fuck i can barely move
IāM HAVING FUN THO
#blair skates#haha everything hurts#my coach gave me off ice exercises to practice one foot glides and i swear my ankles look like wobbly pieces of tin#i do fall a lot
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i had a dream that there was a genuinely benevolent man who wanted to give away $400,000 no strings attached to someone who truly needed it, and for some reason he considered me in the running, and i was like, "oh, i would have been last year, but i'm not anymore. like i need to be honest with you, i'd LIKE the money but i can't in good conscience take it from someone else. i'm able-bodied now and nearly back to full independence"
and he was like "okay, show me. climb these stairs."
and then he brought me to a staircase made up of about 60 incredibly steep steps. that were so sheer it was like a vertical rock climb.
my right hip was already hurting but i was like "yeah lmao, no problem :)" and started to climb. it became Immediately Apparent that i couldn't put my full weight on my right side, so i carefully hobbled up each step using my left leg and the railings.
halfway up my hip fully gave out.
the guy was like, "okay, okay, stop, i've seen enough. oh my god no. hey. STOP" and i was like "NO, I CAN FUCKING DO IT. I TOLD YOU I CAN DO IT AND I'M GOING TO DO IT." and then i pushed myself up the remaining steps by using my arms and hopping on my good leg.
which was difficult but achievable! i was incredibly proud of myself. i am the hulk. i am buff. i have the arm strength of a god.
sadly no one else was nearly as impressed. at the top there were a couple women who i guess worked with the mysterious benefactor, and they grabbed me and hauled me onto the upper landing like "WHY WOULD YOU FUCKING DO THAT?? WHY DID YOU DO THAT" as i Finally got to sit down.
anyway.
i then woke up with my right leg twisted well over 90 degrees. and pinned beneath me.
because my hip had subluxed worse in my sleep than it has in probably, like.... Over A Year.
so.
this is what two weeks without PT does to a motherfucker.
#dreams#pt tag#ehler danlos life#autoimmune tag#etc. all the health things.#my dream self is usually super selfish too. girl take the fucking money?? WHY#i mean clearly because my subconscious was trying to express YOU'RE REALLY HURT. WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP#but like. good god.#all is fine i popped it back in and i can walk. just with pain.#i skipped 2 weeks of PT bc of the antibiotic migraines and now i'm paying for it. i'll do my damn exercises today.#GOD that hip does hurt though. like CATASTROPHICALLY.
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still thinking about this rly small moment from yesterdayā¦.. the silences weigh so incredibly heavy here . they donāt know what theyād do if they lost pomme :(
mini transcript below the cut
[Video Transcript:
Etoiles: On the other hand, dude, if we have to save the Eggs and thereās an Egg that isnāt savedā no, thatās horrible. It canāt be that.
Aypierre: Imagine youā I donāt know. Imagine we have a group ofā theyāre unable to save Pomme, and itās the only group without any French.
Etoiles: No but itās horrible.
Aypierre: Do you, uhā do you hate them forever?
[Pause]
Etoiles: Well then again you couldnāt blame them.
[Pause]
Etoiles: You couldnāt blame them, butā
Aypierre: Imagine itās Slimecicleās group, and he misclicks on Pomme, and he kills her.
Etoiles: Then againā oh, Slimecicleās group, yeah.
end Video Transcript.]
#qsmp#etoiles#aypierre#Ć©toiles#jay clips#3/11/2023#i do honestly believe theyāll have to save eggs who arenāt their own#thereās two groups where there arenāt any French so i think itāll be either one of them#god . what a fucking trust exercise man#i think through the chaos of everything going on it makes moments like the one in the clip hurt more#moments where they get to pause and reflect and open up (if only slightly) about how bad things really are#horrible posting time for people in the americas so iāll reblog later too
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Iām having normal thoughts about boys right now ok (I have a deep visceral need to hunt someone through the forest, nothing but the sound of him gasping and breaking through the brush with his heartbeat thrumming like an animal of its own in his chest and in my ears, my paws beating against the earth as I race after him, teeth clicking and practically foaming at the mouth at his scent. Just him and me in the dead of night. And when I finally catch him I pin him to the ground and fuck his brains out under the full moon <3 )
I can be left alone with a pretty guy in the middle of the night under a full moon. Yeah just leave him by the forest :) no yeah donāt worry abt it haha yeah Iām just gonna go out for a run :) it will be good for me and also him. Enrichment :) being hunted by a big werewolf counts as a couples exercise right
#yeah ok Iām on my blood moon right now Iāll admit#anyways I donāt know what the otherkin equivalent of monsterfucking is.#Iām a monsterfucker in the way that Iām a monster and I want to fuck other monsters or humans. But not in a āhuman who wants to get#fucked by monstersā way.#cough. Anyways.#*gripping the sink gritting my fangs trying to be normal* pleaseeee I need to run through the forest completely unrestrained and free#I need to chase someone and hunt without killing someone bc I feel bad about hurting animals and people#pleaseee it would be so good for me to hunt a guy and fuck his brains out at the end#I promise Iāll take care of him afterwards and lick his bite wounds and wash the bramble scratches clean and put the bluey bandaids on#afterwards. Iāll give him a nice bath and water after he ran all that way through the woods. Giving him blue gatorade.#and then I take him to bed and curl up around him and we sleep together like#that scene from totoro. just sleeping on a big fluffy werewolf. Pleaseeee it would be so good for me so so good#itās enrichment ok?? Itās for my mental health!! And we both get to exercise together like thatās basically hiking right guys??#itās a great couples bonding activity to be hunted by your werewolf boyfriend right#monster fucker#monsterfucker#trans werewolf#werewolf tag#blood moon bite#< my hornyposting tag#terato#terat0philliac#teratophillia
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I do wanna say re: Silver Backstory and my rec list and my tendency to poke and prod and explore where he may have come from--
That's not me saying that the way his character is presented in the canon *needs* that, at ALL.
First off, the speech on the cliffs, the Solomon Little stories, the complete inability to share?
It's perfect for the character, as well as an absolutely jaw-dropping ballsy as hell decision to make a prequel/adaptation about the most famous pirate figure in Western media and simply... refuse to define him in those terms the way we've seen the other main characters. It's such a ballsy and brilliant move that sometimes I stare at the wall thinking about what they have done and just, god I hope one day I can write something that great. I could go on about that but it's not my main point.
Second off, many ppl have said that the point is that the story of Black Sails itself *becomes* his origin, and in many ways that is absolutely true and I agree.
However, I also wanna point out that the acting and the writing reflect all the information we would ever need to know about John Silver even if he cannot bear to speak it in specifics.
in 4.9, Silver says:
āI have no story to tell. It all might seem as though Iām trying to conceal something from you, butā¦ truth is, there is no story to tell. ... Not unremarkable, justā¦without relevance. A long time ago, I absolved myself from the obligation of finding any. No need to account for all my lifeās events in the context of a story that somehowā¦defines me. Events, some of which, no one could divine any meaning fromā¦other than that the world is a place of unending horrors. Iāve come to peace with the knowledgeā¦that there is no storyteller imposing any coherence, nor sense, nor grace upon those events. Therefore, thereās no duty on my part to search for it. You know of me all I can bear to be known. All that is relevant to be known."
"Other Than That The World Is A Place Of Unending Horrors."
Now, coming at this as someone with my own fucked up trauma, that one sentence coupled with the performance from Luke really tells us everything we need to know.
So yeah, in a way it both does and doesn't matter that we don't get his history wrapped up in a pretty package, both bc it's NEVER THAT SIMPLE, and bc his REACTIONS to events/ppl are... so VERY clearly the reactions of someone who has been deeply traumatized. We don't NEED to know for the story and character to work EXACTLY as intended.
We can see him, we the audience. If you pay attention, he is not some mystery at all. We may not know exactly what happened to him, but also, we do... don't we?
#i rambled a bit here but like...#it's perfect it doesn't NEED an explanation it's all already on page#what we choose to extrapolate can be a fascinating exercise and I personally love doing so#but he is the quintessential survivor he eschews being known or human attachments bc THAT'S HOW YOU GET HURT AND DIE#he has never been treated well he has never had anything#he's only had the scrape for survival#he either lost ppl very early or he's literally never had anyone but regardless#SOMETHING happened to give him some textbook PTSD#and he's literally 40 trauma responses in a trenchcoat#he doesn't act rationally#yeah I rambled more#I just have a lot of feelings about John Silver#put that on my grave lol#john silver#black sails#black sails meta#thoughts
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why do i have to have the nervous system of someone who's being hunted for sport
#i wake up and my chest hurts and i cant go back to sleep and i have to do breathing exercises#and i'm like ?????? GIRL YOU JUST WOKE UP. YOURE IN BED. THERE'S NOTHING HAPPENING YOURE FINE!!!!!!!#also yesterday i remembered im finally getting my pap test done on monday and i started freaking out š„²š„²š„²#like i know its not a big deal but im ngl im scared#raquel speaks
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Fuck the people who perpetuate the idea that corsets are painful! That theyāre meant to be laced up so tight you canāt breathe and that women who wore them in history were being tortured.
I get to wear them every year at my local Ren Faire and do you know how I feel? Comfortable!
Theyāre snug and form fitting like a good hug. They literally lower my anxiety like one of those vests designed for dogs during thunderstorms.
They take pressure off my back by forcing me into a more proper posture. I wear that thing for six hours then feel its effects for days afterwards.
On top of that I look sexy as hell! Do you know what that does for my self esteem? Do you realize how much I strut and smile and laugh just because I think I look pretty!?
I will not tolerate corset slander!
#corset#corsets#ren faire#renaissance faire#Renaissance festival#not trek#I hurt my foot and didnāt get to go Sunday#and wonāt be able this coming weekend#but I love the Faire so much#honestly being outside in the sun with nice people who are like me while getting exercise walking does a lot for my mental health as well#anyway back to your regularly scheduled ramblings
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God I'm so stupid sometimes... they're sisters. The two girls, one in white, gold, and blue and the other in green with a reddish pink are supposed to represent Piltover and Zaun respectively. One keeps her hair short while the other pulls her hair into a braid, though the braid's obscured.
And it's like, oh right, it's called A Tale of Two Sisters. Piltover's the older sister and Zaun's the younger sister. They even put Vi and Jinx on the same sides. It makes me wonder how literally Arcane will take the metaphor.
#arcane#jinx arcane#vi arcane#obviously it feels downright criminal to say vi treated jinx like piltover treated zaun#like if piltover was a sister she'd be a shitty sister#but we can't discount the chance vi will treat jinx like piltover treats zaun in the near future like next season#where even at its most well meaning piltover fundamentally misunderstands the needs of zaun and hurts it more than helps#and yet piltover still feels it's its right to exercise control over zaun#arcane meta#piltover#zaun
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