#like damn your hatred for your job is literally not my issue

[worldwake]

I'm gonna be really honest I think most of the people who keep harassing me to get a "real" job are just pissed that I actually enjoy my job and that my job actually fulfills me in many ways. Sorry you're miserable I guess, but just because I enjoy what I do does not mean that it's not "real" work!

[laffy-taffy-creations]

Day 1 of whumptober!

This fic was cross-posted on Ao3 here

Just One Day

Safety Net | Swooning | "How many fingers am I holding up?"

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Words: 1,040

Warnings: sickness, overexertion, self-hatred, human experiments, broken promises, adultification of a minor, child abuse

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, uhhh…3?” someone asked.

I turned. “Oh, hey 7. What’s up?”

“9 sent me to see you. Whatcha doing?”

“Fixing the home remedy for tonight’s batch of allergic reactions. Our stupid ‘caretakers’ decided that fish sticks would be a brilliant choice of dinner despite at least 170 of the nearly 300 of us being allergic to fish or the oil the use to fry shit.”

“Really?”

I scoffed, “I know right? You’d think they’d realize what a bad idea that is.”

“No,” she said, “I mean you know how to combat allergic reactions?”

I looked at her confused. “Yeah, I’ve been the one making the remedies for everyone since being chosen as an experiment… did you really not know this?”

“I mean, I knew someone was making them, but I figured it would be one of the adults, not… you… do you even have allergies?”

“No, but that doesn’t really matter?”

She was stunned. “3. You’re 11. Are you trying to tell me that ontop of caring for literally every person in this facility, teaching everyone Japanese, making sure we’re all safe and that fights dont break out, keeping us educated as possible, ensuring we all make it to sleep at night and tending to the other kids teens and sometimes adults that have issues sleeping, you’ve also been the person keeping track of allergies and making the drinks infused with whatever it is that keep allergies from being life threatening?”

“Uhhhh, yeah? Why is that so confusing to you?”

“3! You’re 11 for crying out loud! Are you trying to tell me you’ve been single-handedly taking care of everyone in every aspect imaginable SINCE YOU WERE NINE?!?!?!”

“7. Calm down.”

“I will NOT! You’re a fucking fifth grader taking care of nearly 300 people on your own!”

“And I’ve been doing that job just fine for 2 years.”

“3-”

“Sayovai.”

“No, I dont wanna hear it, what the actual fuck 3?-”

“Sayovai.”

“You cant be serious, I mean-”

“SAYOVAI! YEHLISA UMOYA!”

She finally paused.

“I am fine. You are fine. I am doing what I have to so we can all survive here, I’m our safety net. Ngicela ungithembe nje, kulungile?”

She took a deep breath and nodded. “Fine. So long as you promise awuzicindezeli… you can promise me that, akunjalo?”

I laughed a bit. “Yebo, ngiyathembisa.”

“Good.”

----《 ¤ 》----

I tried to keep my promise.

----《 ¤ 》----

“3, you doing good?” Max asked me.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, I think, just a mild sickness…”

He paused. “Go back to your room.”

“What?”

“Go back to your room. If you’re sick right now, you have to go rest.”

I protested, “I’m fine Max! It’s just a mild sickness of some sort…”

“OV, if you could see yourself right now, you’d know damn well this isn’t ‘mild sickness’.”

I scoffed.

“You’re barely walking right now.”

“Liar.”

“I’m not lying, I-! Actually, you know what, stay right fucking there, I’m getting 9.”

“Okay, but I’m telling you, it’s not that bad.”

I waited for a while.

They finally returned but… Was I on the floor now? When had that happened?

There was some noise, it was faint. Like someone was calling to me. I saw what looked like a hand in front of me. I made some sort of noise, trying to respond. I felt like I should be panicking, but I had too little energy.

Next thing I knew, I was off the ground. Was someone carrying me? Everything was blurry. I could barely keep my eyes open.

Then it was soft.

Incredibly soft. I recognized the feeling of a bed.

I melted into the dark surrounding me. Eventually my hearing cleared. And I was able to open my eyes again.

“3? 3 are you awake?” I heard.

“Mmmmmm…”

“Hey, hey! Dont fall asleep again! Look at me,” it sounded like Relena.

I opened my eyes and weakly pushed myself up. This whole situation was so vague in my memory… I feel like I have something to do…

“Hey, 3, look at me. How many fingers am I holding up?”

I concentrated as best I could. “Mmmm…. Four?” I guessed.

She sighed and put her hand down, “No OV… Just rest, I’ll take care of today. You’re too out of it to do anything right now.”

That jogged my mind a bit. There’s… a lot of us… in the building… I’m meant to be taking care of us… I’m meant to be taking care of us!

I instantly started to get out of bed and was just as instantly pushed back into in. “No 3! You stay here!”

“I’m meant to… be taking care of… the others right now!” I slurred.

“No! I’m taking care of the others today! You’re sick!”

My vision started getting blurry again and I could feel a tightening in my throat. “But I-"

“But nothing! Rest!”

I felt something warm go down my cheek. “I’m supposed to- I’m our safety net! If I’m not there and something really bad happens-”

“We’ll take care of it! There’s more people than just you here, 3. If things really go wrong, we’ll figure it out.”

I was starting to have some trouble breathing. Crying. That’s what’s happening. I’m sobbing.

“But- the, the others-”

“Vee, I can take over for a day. It’s one day. You’re usually our safety net. Let us be yours.”

She lifted my mask and wiped away my tears. “We’ll be fine. Just take a break. You’ve already done way too much for your age. Just one day, okay?”

I nodded as best I could. I ended up crying myself back to sleep. Even after waking up again, this time alone in my room, I couldn’t shake the feeling I’d somehow failed everyone.

It should’ve been fine. I should’ve been able to handle it. It’s my job to take care of the others. Today shouldn’t have been any different.

“Hey, 3, you awake in here?” someone called from the doorway after a while, pulling me from my thoughts.

“Hm? Oh, yeah, what is it Agno?”

“Dinnertime. C’mon, join us. We missed you today.”

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a bit, just gimmie a moment.”

You shouldn’t have missed me today. Because I should’ve been there. I should’ve been there.

[cloud-somersault]

I couldn’t fit it all in a simple comment so I’ll write it out here. This is in regards to your most recent post about chapter 4.

Something that’s incredibly natural about emotional and relational issues is that they are a constant nagging thing. The fact that these two are going to bring up similar things time and time again is actually very realistic. Because they haven’t SOLVED anything yet. So the angst, regardless if we’ve seen it before, is going to be reoccurring! I totally understand what it’s like to feel like you’ve literally beaten something dead in a story with how much it’s brought up. But it’s only natural that characters who have been deeply hurt are going to bring it back up. People are always going to feel shame and regret for the terrible things they’ve done, and it is always going to come back. Same with hatred and anger. I promise you, from a writing standpoint, it is going to feel weird and nonsensical to constantly bring it up, but it is necessary to move the story a long! And you’re doing an amazing job at it!

Sometimes, in life and in writing, we’re going to feel like we’re walking through mud. So it’s a-okay if the chapter feels like this too, I promise it’ll work out(we are always our worst critics). :]

AWWW THIS IS SO SWEET!!! And it's all completely true LMFAO Though there is some back and forth (🤮) in chapter 4, it's more that...I've edited this fic so many times and reread it over and over trying to get the pacing/tone/dialogue down that the emotional high and low points do not impact me anymore, so I'm unsure if they're going to be effective.

But there's definitely some of that go-around of hashing things out...and I was unsure about that too, and you're right that it's natural and all the EMOTIONS that come with that are very pointed. But then I'm worried about pacing -- that things are "solved" too quickly AUGHGHEHRHGHG

I know it's not as bad as I'm making it out to be. It's just that this is the next-to-last chapter of the fic. 5 is technically the last chapter, and I'm still holding plot points in my hands unsure of where they should go. I'm having to move things around because chapters 2+3 were supposed to be ONE but then that pushed things over into chapter 4. which pushed things over into chapter 5. and it's a whole mess ughggh

i don't like to complain about the process, and I shouldn't do it on a nice ask like this JFFJJ but damn...I dunno, in the morning this'll all be embarrassing but holy shit, I just want this to be SATISFYING. I want it to end and be like "Ah, that was a good fic. From start to finish, I enjoyed it."

That's what I want. 😔

[the-cult-of-russo]

Biggest regret (part 2)

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

A/N: Quite a few of you guys wanted a part two to this one. Mixed angst and fluff kind of? So... I didn’t wanna rush this one and it kind of got away from me. I want to do a part three to it which will be where the main fluff begins if you guys are interested. 

Warnings: cursing, angst, sadness, fluff kinda 

-----------

Nervous didn't even begin to cover how Billy felt now he was back stateside. He was on his way home after a successful mission and his thoughts were consumed with you and the baby. He hadn't been able to think of much else. He didn't regret sending the letter but he was vulnerable now. He'd put himself out there and he hated how out of control he was with the situation. 

There was every chance you wouldn't even get the letter. You could have easily moved since the last time he spoke to you and you'd never know he'd tried to reach out. And of course he had the resources available to track you down if needed but it felt wrong to do that. Although if he got desperate enough he knew he was selfish enough to do it. 

He wasn't sure what would be worse; you never getting the letter or you getting the letter and ripping his heart out. Hypocritical, he knew, after what he'd done to you. But he wasn't sure how he'd handle it. There were too many variables for this whole thing and it set him on edge. Even if you got the letter it didn't mean you'd respond. And if you responded it didn't mean it would be anything he'd like to hear. You could be telling him to go fuck himself, which he'd wholeheartedly understand, but it would hurt nonetheless. 

He didn't dare get his hopes up. He knew that the very best he'd probably get was the bare minimum information about his kid. Name and age, if that. And while it may not be a lot, it would mean the world to him but he wasn't holding his breath for even that.

He felt like a string pulled taut ready to snap as he made his way to his apartment. He made a beeline to the mail room and unlocked his mailbox and grabbed the stack of letters. He knew it was stupid as he held his breath and flicked through the envelopes. He tried so hard not to get his hopes up yet he hadn't been able to help it. There was a bunch of junk mail and more formal business-like things. But then a handwritten envelope had his heart stopping completely. He'd know your handwriting anywhere. He stared at it for a long moment and all he could hear was the blood rushing to his head. So much hung on what you'd say in this letter and it left him open to complete and utter heartbreak. He felt sick. 

Deciding to open it upstairs so he'd be able to have a mental breakdown in peace, he all but ran to the elevator and made his way up to the top floor. It felt like it took a year to get there and he made quick work of getting inside his apartment. The other mail got tossed on the counter, forgotten and not important and he walked over to his sofa before sitting on it. He placed the letter on the coffee table, glaring at it as he wrung his hands. He was genuinely terrified of what was inside. He'd faced so much in his life, fought literal wars. Yet this was the most scared he'd ever been. 

He jumped off the sofa, going in the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of whisky before he went and sat back down, his leg bobbing up and down without even noticing. He didn't need a glass and instead just took a large gulp before he set the bottle down. He needed to stop being such a little bitch and open the damn thing. With shaking hands, he grabbed the letter and opened it. He pulled out the paper, unfolding it as his heart thumped wildly in his chest. The first thing he noticed were the few splotches of now dried wetness on the page that had the ink bleed slightly. You'd cried when writing this and his heart seized up.

Billy,

I was surprised to hear from you, I won't lie. At one time I expected it. When I was pregnant I kept expecting you to call or turn up here or something, but as the months went on I realised it wouldn't happen. Better late than never though, right?

Ouch. You weren't wrong but it stung all the same. He imagined you, scared and pregnant and alone and hoping he'd turn up and be the man you needed and it hurt him more than he felt comfortable with.

It kind of hurts that you think I'd withhold information about our baby from you. I thought you knew me better than that. I thought a lot of things though and I was wrong so I'm not surprised. You were the one that walked away from us, I'd never be petty enough to keep you away just because of what happened with us.

He did know you well enough but he hadn't been able to stop his mind going there. Because he knew deep down he didn't deserve you bothering with a reply for how he abandoned you. He knew he was asking for too much. He shouldn't have been surprised you'd reply since you always went above and beyond for him. He never deserved it. Not then and certainly not now. 

I won't sit here and lie to you. It crushed me when you walked away. I was terrified to tell you when I found out I was pregnant. I wasn't sure how you'd react. A part of me thought it would end the way it did but… I really hoped it wouldn't. I held out too much hope and I see that now. 

You thought he was a better man than he was. Gave him too much credit. It stung like a bitch that he'd hurt you this much. He never wanted to hurt you. 

The pregnancy was tough. I was in and out of hospital and I was really sick. Then I had issues at the end with the placenta. I had to go through all of it alone and I stupidly wished you'd just magically turn up every time I ended up back at hospital.

His lower lip wobbled and he sneered at himself. He should have been there. He should have held your hand and told you it would be okay. You shouldn't have had to go through any of this alone. 

We have a little girl. I called her Delilah. I know you might not like the name but it was left down to me and I liked it. I think it suits her.

A girl. His chest ached and his hands trembled, eyes filling with tears and a sad smile spread on his face. He had a little girl. And he loved the name. You could have called her something ridiculous and it wouldn't have mattered to him. 

She came early. With all the issues with the pregnancy she ended up being a month premature. She was tiny. I was terrified she wouldn't be okay. I couldn't even hold her right away because she was in an incubator. I was so scared, Billy.

A choked noise left his lips and a few tears leaked down his cheeks. What had he done? He left you at your most vulnerable and his baby had been sick. And what had he been doing? Living his life like nothing had happened. He made himself sick. ‘I was so scared, Billy. I was so scared, Billy. I was so scared, Billy.’ He could practically hear your voice saying those words. Hear how it would waver like it did when you got upset. Hear the hurt and fear in your voice. He should have been there.

She's four months old now and she's doing amazing. She's such a happy baby. It's like all she does is smile. She has your eyes and my hair. She mostly looks like you though. 

He sniffled, wiping his eyes with one hand as he gave a watery smile. He tried to imagine what she looked like. A mix of you both. She'd be perfect. It eased him a little to know she was okay now, that she wasn't sick anymore. He hadn't expected you to give him so much information but it made his heart swell that you were. As always, it was way more than what he deserved.

When I got your letter, I think I didn't stop crying for hours. A mix of hurt and relief, I guess. I'd be a liar if I said there wasn't any bitterness. I went through everything alone and now you just turn up because you're ready. I didn't get that luxury, Billy. I didn't have a choice. It was either have my baby or not, there was no walking away until I felt ready for me. 

His chest felt even tighter and your disappointment only fueled his self hatred about the whole thing. You weren't exactly wrong and he'd been a coward. 

I won't hold it against you though. It might take time to fully forgive you but I won't make you suffer. You're still her dad and I'd never deny either you or her that right. The fact that you even want to be part of her life at all means alot to me. I never wanted to have that talk with her when she was older about why you walked away.

It was bittersweet. Knowing you were extending an olive branch and letting him in even after all this time. But the knowledge that you'd been worried about what to tell your daughter when she was older hurt him. It was exactly what he didn't want. He never wanted her to feel unloved by him. 

I sent you a few pictures and they're yours to keep. 

He set the letter down instantly and scooped up the envelope, he hadn't noticed anything else in there in his haste to read the letter. But he pulled out a few Polaroids and his heart squeezed painfully in his chest. 

The first was of you. You were in the mirror standing sideways with the Polaroid camera in one hand. You only had on leggings and a bra and your bump was pretty big, cradled by your other hand. You looked so beautiful and he couldn't believe he'd missed out on this. Couldn't believe he'd walked away from you. The writing at the bottom had '7 months inside' written on it and his thumb stroked your bump as he wished he had been able to do in the flesh. With a heaving sigh and heavy heart, he set the picture down to look at the next.

The second was of a tiny baby in an incubator. She had on a knitted pink hat and she looked so tiny and small. A sob left his lips then as he gazed at her. She was beautiful but so fragile and he hadn't been there. His job was to protect her and he hadn't been there. He could only imagine the pain you'd been in going through that alone. In your writing at the bottom in black ink was the date and her name. His breathing hitched as he read 'Delilah Russo'. You gave her his last name. He hadn't expected that at all and he found a rush of joy and pride flooding his system as he openly cried at the picture. She was so fucking tiny and he remembered you saying you hadn't been able to hold her right away. He knew it must have killed you. 

His hand set it down shakily as he looked at the next. His little girl was still small but you were holding her now. You looked tired and like you'd lost a lot of weight. It hurt him deeply. Yet despite that you had a look of pure love and happiness on your face as you stared down at the little bundle in your arms and it made him cry all over again. He idly wondered if his own mother had ever looked at him that way when he was born but he highly doubted it. It stirred something deep inside of him to see how much you adored her.

The last picture seemed more recent and was of Delilah all on her own. She was propped up by pillows and had a cheeky smile on her face, her grubby little hands holding a stuffed blackbird. Oh... He thought the tears were done but apparently not and he hated himself so fucking much. All these little things in his honor were killing him because it was clear that no matter what he'd done to you, you still tried to have him in your daughters life somehow and that shit hurt. The writing at the bottom said '3 months outside' and he smiled through his tears. 

She was so fucking beautiful and you hadn't lied that she had your hair and his eyes. Dark pools of almost black were staring back at him through the picture and it was a foreign sensation to see a mini version of him. The one difference being she was happy and well loved and he wanted nothing more for her than that. 

He stared at the picture for what felt like forever as he took in every little detail in her chubby little face, committing it all to memory. All of these pictures were special to him and way more than anything he thought he'd get in response to his piece of shit letter but he was grateful. He slipped the last one into his wallet before picking the letter back up to finish it. 

I'm glad you reached out now and not later. She's still only a baby, too young to really remember any of this. It would have been harder to have you in her life later and have her be too confused at who you are. It's gonna take time and patience, she's not used to you, but if you'd like then I'd like you to meet her.

He felt like he stopped breathing altogether for a moment. You want him to meet her. You'd let him… he broke down, sobs mixed with pure pain and guilt with the sheer relief that he'd actually get to meet his little girl. He never thought in his wildest dreams you'd gift him that and he felt so overwhelmed he didn't think he'd be able to stop crying. He was a far cry in that moment from the man he knew himself to be. 

I won't put pressure on you to meet her if it's too much but I will say this. You're either in or out with this. You can't decide to come into her life and then leave again, Billy. I won't let it happen. You broke my heart and there's no way in hell I'm letting you break hers. Really think about this before you contact me because you need to be fully ready for it. I won't have you half ass this, okay? If you're really ready to be her dad then call me. If not, I'll understand and I'll leave you with the pictures. It's your call, but don't fuck it up.

Y/N

He laughed, the sound watery and pained but he couldn't help it. Something about you being so protective over your baby made his whole chest bloom with warmth. And while it hurt him that you had to warn him at all, he knew he deserved it. He'd walked away once before and you wouldn't let it happen again. It killed him to read that he broke your heart even though he already knew. But you were protecting your kid. His kid. And it only made him love you harder at you not taking any shit. 

Your number was scrawled at the bottom of the letter and he wanted to call right away. He didn't though. He would respect your wishes and think about it, at least mull it over for tonight. He knew without a doubt he wasn't planning on walking away, no matter how hard it may be down the line. He had no intention of hurting his girl. But you asked him to think hard about it and he'd give you that. Just the notion that you'd allow him to meet her had his head spinning. 

It wouldn't be perfect by any means. He'd hurt you beyond repair and he wasn't stupid enough to think that being in his daughters life meant getting you back the way he wanted. But it was better than he ever thought he'd get. 

He sniffled again, grabbing his phone and pressing speed dial one without hesitation. He didn't give the person on the line a chance to speak once they answered.

"Frankie... I got a little girl," Billy beamed through his sobs. Frank made a choked noise on the other end.

"Shit, Bill. Congratulations," he replied, his own voice thick with emotion and wavering. 

Billy would never forget how badly Frank reacted to the news you were pregnant and he'd just walked away. It stuck with him for a long time and he knew Frank was hurt by what he did. Billy was his family which meant his kid was family. 

Billy didn't care as he openly sobbed down the phone to his best friend and he knew Frank wouldn't rib him for it, not this time. Once he mentioned he had pictures, Frank didn't hesitate to tell him he was on his way over. 

Despite the pain he was feeling and the self loathing, he felt a sense of completeness that he'd never felt before. And he knew no matter what he'd do right by you and his baby girl. He'd be the man you both deserve. You were both his family and he wouldn't abandon you. Not again. He wouldn't perpetuate the cycle of his own harsh upbringing. It would be different this time. He'd be a good dad. A good man for his girls.

[oh-boy-me]

Demon Outfits Discussed

The wait is over :) thank you for your patience and all the lovely comments on the casual discussion!!

I feel like it got longer this time, so I hope it’s all an enjoyable read!  Also, I apologize for the ugly pictures--it was the easiest and fastest way to both have all the design in one image and also prevent it from stretching so far.

Like last time, please don’t take this too seriously; we love these boys and Justin doesn’t know them but has no grudges against them.  We’re just harping on their fashion sense.  Absolutely no hate is intended towards the boys or the design team!

Participants in the discussion were

Jo ( @jodaneko ), our art major with storyboarding/character design experience, who finds they have more in common with Satan each passing day.

Justin ( @justinlester0629 ), our fashion expert, who dressed up and filled a wine glass with water for the occasion.

Noodle (Me), our untrained eye who owns the Barbie as the Island Princess video game on three different platforms.  It’s not even that good.

Featuring emergency guest star Megan ( @maggo77​ ), my sister who is physically near me as we look at the backs of their designs for the first time.

Edit: Distracted by the pretty jacket, we made a mistake when putting in Levi’s silhouette rating.  It’s the worst.  2/10, not 6.

Lucifer:

“Boy looks like he’s about to swing open the doors of an expensive mansion during a debutante party and give some SCATHING NEWS.” ��Justin

“Short shoulder cape and a long split butt cape lol” —Jo

Jo has realized that based on both outfits, Lucifer doesn’t want people looking at his butt.  Possible reasons are: he doesn’t have one, or Diavolo someone was getting distracted.

His shoes match his outfit.  After last time that’s all I care about.

A triple popped color, and how many layers is the middle one?  Is that a book?  Dude has like 27 collars.

The forehead diamond is very important and it’s great that there are diamond buttons to match it.  But uh.  How about those red diamonds on his sleeves.  They.  They sure are there.  (I actually like the red accents and that they match his gloves; I just can’t take the diamonds seriously.)

  Lucifer 🤝 Some Horses Diamond on the Forehead

The peacock motif is HERE and we’re all living for it.  HOWEVER, the feathers on the cape and coattails should have matched, OR there should have been more lime green because there’s so little of that color.

The pants have a pleat in the front, which Justin says means he responsibly irons his clothes, and Jo says only heightens the fact that under the capes this is a marching uniform.

Can he fly?  Jo says these are baby wings that can’t support his weight, and his cape has a hole for the top pair but blocks the bottom pair?  Can’t believe Lucifer handicapped himself for the sake of fashion.

The red makes it regal and the wide flowy design makes it imposing.  Good job, Lucifer!  I might actually be intimidated if I saw you.

Definitely the classiest outfit.  You can tell they put care into it.

Mammon:

“BITCH MY BODY CANNOT TAKE THIS KIND OF SEXY, I THINK I AM OVERHEATING!  NO MORE FURTHER COMMENTS, YOUR HONOR.  HAUTE AND HOT.” —Justin

The whole thing does amazing with only three colors.  We’ve noticed the trend of black and white + one color, but I mean hey.  It’s working so far.

Damn those pants sit low.  No wonder literally all of you wear belts.

The leather jacket?  The studs and harness?  Bless.  Justin calls it “the perfect blend of stylish and ‘I’ll see you tonight *wink*’”.

Kind of don’t like how the belts connect to the pants, though.  It looks better in the back.

“He found a really cool jacket, but it didn’t pair with anything so he just didn’t wear anything.” —Jo

Honestly though?  We’ve all made fun of Mammon for having big hoe energy in his outfits, but like, he knew he had wings and planned his outfit to accommodate for that.  He’s the only one who didn’t cut holes in his outfit.  Maybe Mammon was the smallest hoe after all.

Also if there’s a motif it repeats elsewhere, like the studs and diamonds on his jacket and pants.  Did he and Lucifer have a “tastefully putting diamonds on my outfit” battle?  Because Mammon definitely won.

One of the charms broke off the belt loop and he never bothered to replace it, and honestly thank god there isn’t two of those anymore.

Torn between wishing the boots were tighter to match the rest of the outfit and saying “yoooo they’re open in the back!!!”

Ok so so far we’ve said generally only good things, but there is one major issue with the design: Its gravity.  Everything points down, his tattoos, the diamonds, even his wings.  The center of gravity in the image is his shoes.  Bitch loved his shoes so much he made his whole outfit point to them.

Either way this was universally considered the best and I mourn Justin who doesn’t know how far Mammon’s standards are gonna fall from here.

Leviathan:

Diagonal zipper

“Levi what the fuck.” —Megan

He looks like an e-boy.

Honestly it looks like he borrowed something from Justin’s wardrobe for Pride but he didn’t know how to put it on.

APPARENTLY the biggest hoe.  Abs that he shouldn’t have coming through a mesh t-shirt.  I thought Mammon’s pants were low, but Levi’s whole-ass ass is out.  Ok Levi, I see you.

The shirt pattern is good but he probably leaves it partially unzipped because it’d look really dumb fully closed.

Justin loves the funky pants pattern and Jo likes the pants but not with the outfit.  It’s because the devs were too coward to give him a thick tail base so his pants had to fill that role by sharing the pattern.

The shoes are good, and not just because they incited Justin’s deep-set hatred for Christian Louboutin and his uncomfortable red-bottom shoes.

Justin is offended that he’s hiding his suspenders; either show them completely or not at all, no in between.  Jo’s not fully convinced it isn’t just one suspender.  What are his suspenders doing?  What are they attached to?  Are they holding anything up?  Apparently not.

Jo pointed out that if you squint the belt on his waist looks like fangs and the orange dots on his sleeves looks like eyes so it’s like theres a snake head on his outfit.  Cute!

The gloves are throwing us off though.  Why is Levi of all other brothers need gloves?  I bet he has sweaty hands.

Ok really, does his sweater unzip all the way into two pieces?  Or does it hang by that tiny thread underneath the tail hole?  There’s even a button, just in case.

Can’t believe this antler-sporting, suspender-wasting nerd went diagonal zipper on us because we beat him at a trivia game.  Should have just zipped his hood.

Satan:

HONEY.

“I hate everything about this.” —Megan

First of all, he’s straight up wearing Lucifer’s casual shirt.  Does it only button down the back?  Can he take it off?

Then he spilled bleach on his pants.  Like I get what they were going for but with the white on black that is literally just bleach stains.

Incredibly differing opinions on the belt.  He got it in the cowboy department.  Justin adores it.  Jo despises it.

And are those… athletic slip ons?

And now the elephant in the room.  The ribcage made of ribbons.  The ribboncage.  The idea is great! ��I love that they gave him a skeletal theme without throwing him into a Hot Topic.

But if you take the ribboncage and feather boa off he’s literally just wearing a dress shirt and some nice jeans.  And that’s the problem with Satan’s demon form.  Not that it looks goofy.  It’s that they took risks but then hid all the risks behind business casual.

Also Megan said that the back of the ribbons look like a rock climbing harness.  Someone (probably Justin) said the front reminds them of the underbelly of a green cockroach.  Ew.

The feather boa would look better if it was over something you wouldn’t literally wear at the office.  (And also didn’t look so much like worm on a string.)

“He is going to Dragcon 2020 and is definitely going to take a picture and ask to lip sync, but accidentally start beef with Acid Betty.” —Justin

On a good note, loving how the tail fades to highly radioactive green.  Feels dangerous.  Megan pointed out that it’s a pretty wimpy tail, though.  Jo enjoys the self-conscious posture it expresses.

That’s basically the only good thing we have to say, though.

I just????

Merry Christmas.

Asmodeus:

The kanji on the picture is just saying that the coattail is the same on both sides.

Ok now with that out of the way, HONEY.

I’m sure he says that to others but I hope he says it to himself too when he looks in the mirror.

Starting with the good.  The wings?  Adorable.  The heart-shaped hole to accommodate them?  Adorable.  One of the only good adjustments.

And I love that the tips of his horns look venomous, like a scorpion tail!

We love a good floral design and a good twin tailcoat.

But once again, the shirt just has too much going on.  The flowers.  The buttons.  The brick-pattern stitching.  The brooch.  The long collar.  The fact that if he closed the last button it’d end in a diamond covering his crotch.  Sometimes less is more, Asmo.

That scorpion brooch is the best thing to ever grace my computer screen and it shouldn’t have to share the spotlight with the rest of his shirt.  It should have wrapped around his arm and been paired with some more jewelry.  Then he could have ditched those giant cuffs.

The bleeding heart tattoos are a really good idea!  But they should have been angled better and not like someone else put them on at the roller rink.  And maybe they shouldn’t have been outlined in pink.  Those aren’t tattoos, those are gaping holes in his arm.  Is he ok.

I’ve been avoiding the pants, but.  The pants.

“Oh dear god. Oh no that’s… I thought you were a designer…” —Jo

One side is buckled the ENTIRE way down, and then the other side is COMPLETELY plain.  It’s too extreme on both ends.  It should have been only half a leg of buckles.  Not whatever this is.  I still don’t think he can bend that leg.

The shoes are ok but they COULD have been a stiletto so.

Jo is DONE with these demons’ inability to wear socks.

We expected better from you, Asmo.  I hope you have to fasten all those buckles every morning as retribution.

Beelzebub:

He said “how many belts can I wear on one outfit.”

Justin said it’s like Barry B. Benson and Post Malone had a beautiful baby boy, and Obey Me! is cancelled for creating a sequence of events that could lead to me hearing that with my own two ears.

The jacket?  Stunning.  “It’s steampunk mixed with Jack Sparrow, mixed with Billie Joe Armstrong,” says Justin.  It’s got puffy sleeves!  And there’s objectively too much going on with the jacket, but since it’s a leather jacket I can forgive it.  Justin and Jo can’t.

I’m not sure why they keep giving him weird jacket collars but I prefer belt number 9 to fur.

“Why is it bucked in the back?  Couldn’t it have just been a jacket?” —Megan

Good that the black tank isn’t only black, but he has so little color on his outfit that it would have been nice for it and the matching pattern on his boots to have been a color besides gray.

I don’t mind the belts down the leg because they’re not too in your face.  Jo wants the white belt to be thinner.  Justin wants him to just pick one and go with it.

Poor Beel, he can’t do his lil thigh pat pose without his right hand being assaulted by studs and that bear trap-shaped buckle.

Justin feels like the cowboy boots are too wide up top and it’s probably because they’re FAKE cowboy boots.  I don’t know why he didn’t just get cowboy boots instead of putting fake coverings over his dress shoes.

Can’t fault the twin belt, though.  And the wing hole isn’t terrible.

Idk I guess.  They knew what they wanted to do at least.  

That seems to be the pattern with Beel: they know what they want to do, but something weird happens in the middle of it.

Belphegor:

“I don’t know which Teletubby let their son go through the it’s just a phase mom phase, but they should be ashamed.” —Justin

A toddler who just learned how to cut holes in paper got a hold of his hoodie.

Is it a hoodie?  A jacket?  A poncho?  The cow print actually isn’t terrible.  At least it had the decency to be unique in its spotting.  And the actual presence of blue is very appreciated.

On the topic of colors, Jo is calling the devs out on their apparent fear of color.  “Put the pink elsewhere, cowards,” they say.

We actually don’t hate the horseshoe, and using it for the belt buckles is actually really clever.  Even if 75% of them are doing literally nothing.  Feel like he didn’t need that many.  Could do without the bottom one, maybe even bottom two.

There’s a teeeeny tiny cowbell on the back?  Megan apparently finds that VERY important.  Why do they go to such great lengths to remind us that Belphie’s a cow?  Beel doesn’t rub his hands together 24/7.  Mammon doesn’t even get bird wings.

Just like Satan spilled bleach, Belphie has tar pants.

It’s nice to see a change in pant style, but.  Am I biased because I hate harem pants?  Maybe.  Are these harem pants too short on him?  Yes.  Maybe they were supposed to be parachute capris?  But it just looks he outgrew them too fast and Lucifer won’t buy him new pants yet.  At least they look comfy.

If he puts his keys in those pockets will his pants fall down?  Probably.  That’s a problem considering his are the only pants that look like they could hold any keys.

The shoes are fine.  I can enjoy a high topped sneaker.  …Is that a security tag?  Did he steal his shoes.  Belphie stole his shoes.

On the tiny tail hole, I appreciate that Belphie went for modesty.  But I hope it’s impossible to wear these outfits outside of demon form because I don’t want him walking around with a tiny hole right above his ass.

Honestly he doesn’t even look like a demon?  He just looks like… a cow.

There’s one more aspect of their demon forms that I didn’t feel comfortable forcing into a smaller space than it deserved: Silhouettes.  Jo puts a lot of weight on silhouettes and their role in character design.  Is it dynamic?  Is it recognizable?  Jo ranked them as such:

1. Lucifer: 9/10.  Care and effort were put into this design and it shows. 2. Mammon: 7/10.  Points deducted for most of it being form fitting but otherwise still manages to get a passing grade. 3 (tied). Beelzebub: 5/10.  His wings have actual mass but his horns being mostly hidden by his head reduce his score. 3 (tied). Belphegor: 5/10.  Evens out since his clothes aren’t as form fitting as the others but they also kind of turn him into a blob. 5. Asmodeus: 4/10, and only because he’s got multiple wings and that his tailcoat breaks up the bottom half. 6. Satan: 3/10, for the fact HIS BOA carries most of the work in altering his silhouette. 7. Leviathan: 2/10.  The tail and horns prevent this from being a total flop.

Our (surprisingly unanimous!) ranking of their outfits (not counting Megan her opinions deviated) were:

Mammon

Lucifer

Leviathan

Belphegor

Beelzebub

Asmodeus

Satan

In conclusion, any M-rated fic that doesn’t have it take demon Satan 20 minutes to take off his shirt is too unrealistic.

[fairycosmos]

in regards to people not caring about mental health until someone dies.. like not to bring up a celebrity but when demi lovato overdosed people were online absolutely making fun of her for being a crackhead and saying shit like "i don't have sympathy for crackheads" and I even saw some stans saying she should've died or that they don't care about her almost dying because of some shady stuff she said to their faves and it's just so insane?? i also remember mac miller died I think like two months after demi's OD and everyone then was like "mental health is SO important omg" like HELLO??? like there are so many examples of people online using demi's multiple traumas to make fun of her and it's so gross, like make fun of her for actual bad shit she does pls even now it literally took her doing a documentary and talking in detail about what happened for people to finally start sympathizing with her. and obv we see this happen so much with big, mainly female, celebrities (see: britney spears)

yeah it really fucking bothers me 2 see how the public approach her struggle w addiction. like did we learn nothing from amy winehouse nd countless other celebs who have dealt with a similar fate. they treat them like zoo animals then when something happens they preach faux mental health awareness that helps exactly no one. just to boost their own image. thats insane that some stans took it as far as to wish death on her??? WHAT is the thought process WHERE is the basic human compassion. nothing is that god damn serious that you cant just shut up if you have nothing productive to say yk. it's not edgy it's not funny theyre boringgg. plus it's like ppl wouldn't even see her circumstances as valid unless she exposed all her trauma like out in the open for them to consume. and even then it's often ridiculed and made a mockery of. theres so many things to criticize these ppl on and their mental health is never going to be one of them. atp say youre ableist and go, say you hate addicts and go. other ppl who share those problems hear and internalize all the hatred. not that this is exactly the same thing but i notice a similar thing when ppl find out what happened to my sister. IMMEDIATELY they have all these preconceived notions and all of this judgement just bc drugs were involved. they really did a good job at collectively dehumanizing substance abuse issues in the eyes of the general public im so sick. everyone talks so much shit about things they don't have any idea about and that ideology permeates everything. also yeah it's absolutely not lost on me how a lot of the artists the media religiously hound r women. sometimes just for fuckin breathing meanwhile theres male abusers with entire careers still thriving 😐 auggggh

[kinetic-elaboration]

September 17: 3x07 Day of the Dove

I am incredibly discombobulated today—usual weekend nocturnal shenanigans I guess! Anyway it’s somehow midnight. Gonna try to write up these note on the Classic episode The Day of the Dove in as efficient a manner as possible.

Hmm, a planet with wavy pink Fraggle plants. I like it already.

But where is Spock? Very suspicious.

I really appreciate Kirk giving a little speech to set up the overall question/issue for us. (I know he does this all the time with the Captain’s logs but this is out loud and so… more obviously expository.)

Oh no, it’s our old friends…the Klingons.

I will admit that this ONE TIME, the Klingon is being reasonable. Like, it is reasonable to think that Kirk and the Enterprise attacked his ship, given that his hip WAS attacked, and who else would it be?

Three years of peace between the Klingons and the Federation? That is inclusive of the show so all this tension must technically be “peace” and also implies there was something more like a direct war going on, like, right before Kirk got the captaincy.

Zoolander voice: What is this, a colony of the INVISIBLE?

“We have no devil. But we understand the habits of yours.”

No takers? No takers on the torture? No volunteers to be mercilessly tortured by the Klingons?

Star Trek Beyond could have had Kirk and Chekov bond over being brothers! I mean, to other people.

They’ll kill 100 hostages at the first sign of treachery. He does know there are only 400-some people on the ship right? Maybe you should pace yourself, Kang.

Kirk’s so badass he needs MULTIPLE guns trained on him just to use the phone.

Oh-ho secret message to Spock. Which version of the iPhone will be capable of doing THAT?

The Klingons are “suspended in transit” is an awfully nice way of saying they’re just dematerialized atoms in space. Philosophy major and/or Bones nightmare fuel.

How did Kang not see this coming, by the way? Like, he just says “I’m taking your ship now, me and my 6 men versus your 400-some men, and I’ll do this by simply declaring it to be so. Now let’s beam up to your ship, where I’ll be greatly outnumbered, and there are armed security guards all around me.” Guess he’s been reading The Secret!

WIFE AND SCIENCE OFFICER

Aka the most important part of this whole episode.

Kirk’s face is very ?????? You can have both????

It’s legitimately not even important for her to be the science officer tbqh. Like that is so gratuitous. That’s just in there to drive me insane.

"We're prisoners, somehow, after I demanded to come on the ship, assuming they'd just give it to me without any kind of fight. How DID this happen?”

Federation death camps lol—someone’s been watching Fox News.

I do kind of wonder… is this an actual rumor that goes around the Klingon homeworld or is it something that the alien entity put in her head specifically to make her angrier right now? I mean it really could be either.

I also appreciate this episode for being pretty much the only one to actually attempt to give the Klingons a reason for being as they are. The Romulans… maybe aren’t well-described, but they do have a sort of regalness to them, appropriate for being related to Vulcans, and you can kind of imagine that they are the way they are because they’re Vulcans without the intense self-control. Plus they’re literally only in 2 TOS eps and in the second, the Federation are the aggressors. But the Klingons show up a half-dozen times only to be depicted each time as just like Cartoonishly Bad, aggressive, violent, and selfish for basically no reason. And I mean, some people really are!! But TOS has so much nuance in other places, that it always seemed a little disappointing to me that the Klingons are really just like ‘well we’re just bad and we hate everyone and we really like killing I guess.” At least in this ep there’s a little more added to that: that there is poverty on their world, that they feel aggrieved, that they feel unprotected, that taking and conquering is how they look after themselves…

I think that’s later in the episode though.

He’s detaining them in the LOUNGE lol. With their favorite dishes available to them to eat. Absolutely barbarous conditions.

I can’t believe Chekov is hanging in the elevator with the cool kids. Like, one of these things really isn’t like the others.

Kang is officially sure of himself for someone currently imprisoned in the lounge, that most fearsome of Federation death camps.

Hmm, could the glittery light alien have taken over??

You know what, that's a lot of tasks for Johnson to do all by himself: search the whole ship, fix the engines, and free 400 people.

Sulu would love this: everyone gets a sword!!

“Bridge. I gotta show this to Sulu immediately.”

Klingons have maintained a dueling tradition. That’s interesting. Finally some characterization going on.

Spock is really living up to his logical nature today. Everyone else has gone off the emotional deep end and he’s like “have you considered this completely rational explanation that accounts for the actual, observed facts??”

Whoops Chekov is actually an only child. Scratch that previous Beyond headcanon. (Interesting that his dead brother does really resemble Sam though—killed on a research colony??)

Love that Sulu knows that about him though.

Oh, that’s a pretty schematic picture of the Enterprise. I want that on a t-shirt.

Lol the pan out to the armory, now filled with… swords!!

Do ALL of these men have a fetish for swords? Sulu and fencing, Spock displaying swords in his quarters, and Kirk in his San Francisco apartment, and Scotty salivating over this Scottish blade.

“Klingon units.”

Finally Sulu gets his sword! It’s what he deserves.

Love that the shiny light alien also has a fetish for swords.

Oh no, it’s our old adversary, an alien life force.

What is the alien’s purpose? Um, I’m pretty sure its purpose is to start shit.

“An appropriate choice of terms, Captain.” I don’t even remember what this is referring to but I think it’s pretty clear that Spock is enjoying himself during a crisis again.

Bones, being so dramatic. Were there atrocities? He’s talking about the Klingons as if they were literally hacking off limbs—it’s a few stab wounds here and there, chill.

Oooh, time to behave like military men—strong words. (But I thought it wasn’t the military?? @ S**** P****) (This might not even be my best argument, given the context of this episode, but I’m sticking with it.)

This is like a giant game of capture the flag.

AU that’s just about the Enterprise crew playing capture the flag with the Klingons.

Sulu in the background standing guard with his sword

Damn, turning on Spock with the slurs now!!

Spock was absolutely ready to kill him. Like he would 100% have taken him out with a blow to the head. And he’d been doing such a good job of not feeling the alien’s effects so far! Admittedly, that was a strong provocation though.

Honestly, I really like this scene. It’s uncomfortable and tense and you can really see how the alien is bringing out the worst possible influences of their respective races. And I liked how Spock was definitely full on pre-Reform Vulcan for a minute there. It was a more effective portrayal of what that might have looked like than All Our Yesterdays tbqh.

A result of… stress?

Kirk got himself out of it first. He’s so strong. He knows himself so well, he cannot be outsmarted by any alien.

“We’ve been taught to think in terms other than war.”

“The alien brings out the worst of us—patriotic drumbeating…even race hatred.”

He’s so sad; he can’t imagine thinking like that about Spock :(

Sulu in a Jeffries tube! A man of many talents. It’s okay bb, take credit for turning on the lights.

The alien must have been getting bored. The Klingons must have been doing too well, and the playing field needs to be leveled for maximum shit-stirring.

“Let’s find that alien.” That’s how I ALWAYS feel.

Oh, Kang, you’re so close—“What power supports our battle but thwarts our victory.” So, so close to getting it.

ALIEN DETECTED.

Spock takes his sword, of course.

“Jim.” Obligatory Jim moments hit differently when they’re not so obligatory.

“Jim—stop hitting my protégé. And put that sword down.”

Kirk looks so sad, picking Chekov up to carry him bridal style.

Also in addition to ‘race hatred’ I think we need to add ‘rape-y tendances’ to the bad stuff that the alien is inspiring here.

“A brief surge of racial bigotry. Most distasteful.” Spock winning for understatement of the year.

They're assuming the alien is trying to test out their relative powers but I think it just wants entertainment. I mean, doesn’t it look like a naughty little thing?

Mara’s outfit is… little shorts? Interesting. Usually not my style but she makes it work.

Spock doesn’t even look at Johnson as he falls lol. Another one bites the dust.

“It exists on the hate of others.”

What does this remind me of? Oh, the Vast of Night and the whole “aliens made us do every bad thing ever” conspiracy theory. At least this one makes more sense, in part because it is not quite so overwhelmingly broad!

All hostile attitudes must be eliminated, he says, and there's Mara right behind Kirk giving him a death stare lol.

Kang is so obviously posing. Google Earth, always taking pictures.

Only a few minutes before drifting forever in space becomes inevitable? Good thing Kirk works well under pressure.

“Well… do whatever you can, Scotty. You know the drill.” Doesn’t even bother giving real directions anymore. We’ve been in this scenario before.

“So we drift in space, with only hatred and bloodshed aboard.”

And the 392 people below just get to…live in Enterprise prison, I guess.

Star date: Armageddon. So dramatic!

I’m not even making that up; that’s an actual quote. Can you imagine being an Admiral listening to this?

“Stop the war now.” An actual line, really aired on television.

Spock wants to threaten the wife lol. That's the old pre-Reform Vulcan seeping through. Surak who?

Damn, Kang is cold. “Eh, she gets the concept of being killed in battle.” They’re gonna need marriage counseling after this.

“There is another way. Mutual trust and help.” Yes that’s my hero!!

“No one can guarantee the actions of another.” Can’t remember the context of this entirely anymore, but great line.

The entity is loving this—multi-person choreographed sword fight!!

"Those who hate and fight must stop themselves. otherwise it is not stopped.” Another baller line. Spock has a lot of deep thoughts today. And so does Kirk. And Kang.

Kirk tries to reason with the alien. Nice try.

“Shoo. Shoo, alien. Off the ship, go away.”

Omg that last moment—Kang slapping Kirk’s back way too hard, Spock’s completely ridiculous wide-eyed expression when he does, like some sort of combo of amusement and confusion, and then Sulu just passing on by in the background….

Then the alien just yeets itself into space. And that’s the end!

Always feels weird when there’s no wrap up on the bridge.

Also, what are they going to do with the Klingons? They have no ship. They really did come out of this a lot worse than Kirk and co. No ship, huge casualties—and no one to blame even, but the alien.

I feel like the alien messed up a little in killing so many Klingons. Like, it could have accomplished its purpose, angering the Klingons and turning them on Kirk, by attacking the ship a little less violently—you know they’d react to 5 deaths pretty much the same as 400, and then there would be many more people to fight forever and produce that sweet sweet anger!

Maybe the alien’s powers aren’t strong enough to influence 800 people though. Also it wants equal forces and 800 people wouldn’t fit on the Enterprise, one assumes. So it still makes sense.

That was, of course, an excellent episode. 100% agree with is classic status, even though the main things I remembered going in were the wife + science officer bit, and everyone laughing at the end in a really forced, fake way, in order to make the alien go away.

I thought the Klingons were a lot better/more interesting today than usual. First, I think Kang is a better character, or a better actor maybe, than the others; he has a certain way about him that is… more watchable, more sympathetic. And he’s always saying these really dramatic things that make it seem likely he writes patriotic Klingon war poetry in his off time. Also, including his wife made them seem more… not human obviously, but normal. Not just cardboard cut-out villains. And of course the actual lightly specific motivations I earlier mentioned helped too.

Also, the plotting was very good: it built up slowly but surely over time, so at first the alien’s influence wasn’t that obvious, and then it became more so, and then it became horrifically obvious and extreme. And then you had to re-evaluate earlier moments: was that the alien changing facts in their heads, or a real part of the animosity between humans and Klingons? And it wasn’t always clear, which I appreciated. The tension when the people were at their worst wasn’t overdone, like in that moment with Scotty, Spock, and Kirk—or even in Chekov’s assault on Mara, tbh. The various strategies of the different sides were very entertaining too; there was never a dull moment, and they fit in a lot of straight-up actions and twists into 50 minutes.

The possible threat was truly terrifying, also: stuck in a space ship, forever, unable to die, feeling the worst possible emotions all the time, besieged, angered, despairing, fighting a war that can’t be won, being injured and suffering only to recover and fight again, and it never stops… A perfect nightmare mixture of insanity and violence and pain. And the alien, in encouraging hatred and anger, doesn’t discriminate between sides: they turn on each other just as much as on the Klingons, breeding paranoia and infighting. For eternity.

The episode also felt much more strongly anti-war than I remember tbh. Like it was not subtle. Kirk literally says “stop the war” in so many words. He has a part in his speech where he talks about the possibility of other aliens out there, encouraging other wars. And while I do think “maybe the aliens are making us do it” is a cop out explanation, or would be if it were real, the scenario gave the show a lot of room to say, like, pretty ballsy things: to include “patriotic drum beating” along with “race hatred” in a list of corrupting feelings they were experiencing; to show how the same instincts that lead to warring also lead to sexual assault and the aforementioned ‘race hatred;” to reveal the true horror of an endless war by making the participants unkillable and sticking them in a singular space ship in the middle of nowhere; to imply that the combatants of war gain nothing from it, but outside or third-party entities will pull strings of their own design to profit from the conflict as long as possible; even to make an impassioned plea to camera to stop the endlessness of the conflict. Like I can’t even totally unpack this but it is a lot!

Finally, it was also a great Kirk episode, which of course is my most important factor. He’s smart; he’s strong; he’s so sure of himself and his values that he cannot be manipulated to mindless hatred, he represents the values of the Federation, and the show itself; he treats even his enemies with basic respect and humanity; and ultimately, he saves the day.

Okay I was not efficient in writing this up at all! It is very late!!

[ardenttheories]

Though I believe the relationship between most of the hs fandom and the hs2 writing team is pretty toxic I think your 'us and them' attitude is going to perpetuate this. Your posts frame them as villain of sorts and the actions of some justify your distane of them all. I do not know the lives of these people nor all the beliefs they hold within themselves or if they all agree with each other. You need to lurn to be concise in your arguments and where to draw the line between fiction and reality.

The “us and them” mentality was founded by their attempts to isolate a significant percent of the fandom away from the recent content. This is not me perpetuating an ideology; it is me pointing out the flaws in what is happening, currently, and giving voice to the people who have been isolated by the writers and feel as if they are the only ones who feel the way they do. 

I have stated several times how things could improve, and frankly, I think I have been rather fair in many of my assessments - especially at the beginning, when most of the content was being released. But the fact of the matter is, it probably won’t change unless the writers can change the views of people like Kate or talk over her views in Homestuck^2 itself. Because the fandom isn’t the issue, actually; it’s solely in the hands of the writing team.

They are the people with the power, here. They decide what goes into the text, how things are presented, what views come through. They are capable of implementing every transphobic, homophobic, abuse apologist, anti-survivor sentiment we’ve seen in the comic so far - and they’re just as capable to... not do those things. They know their content is triggering. They know how much of the fandom can and cannot handle these things, and how much trigger warnings are important to individual people. And they have actively done everything they can to harm the fandom - have admitted to doing so, actually - that they possibly can. 

You do not take chapter-by-chapter trigger warnings away if you do not want to hurt the people reading your content. You do not respond to criticism by calling your fanbase transmisoynists because you don’t want to admit that your favourite is an abuser. You do not try to make everything you do better by claiming that canon is dead when you are writing the official story. 

What you seem to have completely misunderstood is that we are powerless in this relationship. Yes, we can complain; yes, we can plead; yes, we can try to appeal to them; but they are the ones writing the content. We are only the consumers. They can literally do anything they want to these characters, and they will, and have, merely to spite us. They can make the comic as dangerous as possible to mentally ill people as punishment for daring to say that they weren’t handling triggers well. 

I likewise do not know the lives of the people on the HS^2 team. I do, however, know most of their beliefs - because they do a damn good job of being transparent about it on Twitter. Their beliefs are toxic at best, and outright violent at worst. The problem is, of course, that it doesn’t matter if they don’t agree with each other on these views; they’re still coming through loud and clear. 

If the “good” writers are unable to stop the “bad” writers from pumping HS^2 full of untagged triggers, badly-handled sensitive content, incest, abuse apologism, transphobia, and victim denial, then that honestly says a lot about either: 

- How loud the “bad” voices are that the “good” ones are being spoken over

or 

- How quiet the supposed “good” voices are, and how much they might actually agree with the “bad” voices

I would also like you to, quite kindly, go through and read literally any of my posts. I have gone over several times the distinction between fiction and reality -and how, also, the opinions of a person in fiction tend to shine through in their reality as well. Kate’s abuse apologism isn’t just towards Vriska. She genuinely believes that. The same way as her transphobia isn’t just a fictional thing; she talks over transmen and masc-aligned enbies all the fucking time, and tells them that they don’t have a voice. Her racism is evident in the trivialisation of the BLM movement - and her outright hatred of Gamzee, who is very clearly meant to be an anti-black stereotype, as well as a representation of psychosis. 

The fact of the matter is, they need to be held accountable. We cannot just say, “oh, actually, us vs them doesn’t work”, because us with them didn’t work, either. They have started this mentality, made it clear that they are not with us, and in fact that they actively want to hurt us. All we want is for them to listen to genuine criticism and accept it, to take into account what people are saying - what transmen, mentally ill people, poc, and abuse survivors are trying to tell them - and handle the topics they’re bringing up with slightly more care.

I’ve said several times in my posts that this would literally fix everything. If all we got was an apology, an “we, as a team, are sorry for the hurt we have caused; we have reinstated a better trigger list on each chapter, we are listening to views more closely and have retconned some events that were transphobic/racist/homophobic, or we will take more care with them in the future, and for those instances that did happen, here is an explanation that isn’t just denial or us saying that we’re the writers and you have to accept what we do”, then... we’d have nothing to be upset about. The fandom would be content, would support HS^2, would be more than happy to praise the writers and break the “us v them” mentality. 

But they haven’t, and they seem to outright refuse to do so. And why the fuck should we be the ones to give? If we don’t hold them accountable, they will never change. They will continue to implement harmful and toxic views into Homestuck^2 without criticism or care. We, as a fandom, should not be the ones to end the “us v them” mentality when we are the ones being actively hurt, when they are the ones with the power, when they began the mentality to begin with. 

Of course, if you don’t find that this ask sits well with you, I’d like to suggest some advice to you the same that the writers like to tell us about Homestuck^2 and its content:

If you don’t like it, you’re free to leave. You are in no way obliged to interact at all. In fact, this could be the perfect place for you to write your own posts! Because, naturally, mine have no actual sentiment behind them and should not be viewed in any capacity by people who don’t agree with me, specifically. 

(I want to point out, of course, that the above paragraph is satire. You can do as you damn well please, and this blog IS meant to be interacted with. But maybe now you can see the irony - and fury - behind HS^2 for fans. Imagine if every time I got an ask even vaguely going against my own views, I just turned around and said, “sorry sweetie, not my problem, go do your own shit”. After a while you’d get fed up, and I’d get a callout for actively ignoring valid criticism. I don’t see why, in this capacity, the HS^2 writers shouldn’t be faced with the same.)

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Ishqbaaz Liveblog, E8: Devi Maiyya Works Solo for Anika

Previously: E7 “Awesome Tia, Terrible Shivaay”

Well, this episode and the one before this made me extremely happy because the show treats Anika independently. Her tears, her life, her struggles - just her. And that is so important. Also, can I say I LOVE Saahil. I LOVE CUTE KIDS. Thank God, post the VERY weird Bubbly and less weird Aarav (I loved his cute scenes, the ones with Khushi were problematic at best) in IPK - we get to see kids who are smart, wise, sweet and share a healthy relationship with the adults in their lives. 

Now, enjoy the liveblog.

- JWB

Episode 8: “Devi Maiyya Works Solo for Anika”

- (I’m ignoring the star plus editing style of showing an important scene going : few hours before. It’s not a thriller. It’s a daily series. So please star plus, don’t do so.)

- IT IS SAAHIL’S BIRTHDAY!!! I LOVE THIS BHAI DIDI DUO.

- Is Anika going to lose her job for being righteous and not serving a customer shitty food? 

- HOW IS TIA ALWAYS SO BEAUTIFUL! 

- Explosion? What are the two bros betting on? 

- OMG CANTEEN LADY IS AMAZING! SHE PROMOTED ANIKA FOR EVERYTHING! NOW ANIKA HAS HER OWN CANTEEN! Ok is the blue saree lady Devi Maiyya in disguise? Like screw the shit of setting a love story for Anika, let’s get her independent career start!

- OK THE BLUE LADY IS Devi Maiyya. SHE TOLD ANIKA NOT TO WORRY ABOUT DAD’S NAME/SURNAME. WHAT MATTERS IS HARDWORK. YESSSSSSSSSS

- What is Tia planning for?

- Mean bros. Om and Rudy are being 5 year olds who have planned to be mean to Tia because they want to dislike her and they don’t have an actual reason to do so. They have an image in their heads who’s the perfect person for Shivaay and Tia doesn’t match up - again, in their heads. 

- YES SHIVAAY, I CAN’T BELIEVE I AGREE WITH HIM WHEN HE DEMANDS ANSWERS FROM OM AND RUDY AS TO WHY THEY HAVE ISSUES WITH TIA.

- Seriously, Tia being upset that her cake isn’t right for her engagement is JUST AS VALID as Anika getting furious if something small isn’t right. 

(art by eloisemarseille)

- YES OM, TIA IS CALM AND COMPOSED. RUDY, YOU IDIOT, YOU DON’T KNOW THAT TIA DEFENDED YOU WHEN SHIVAAY GOT TO KNOW YOU SCREWED UP YESTERDAY WITH DUPATTA PRANK. And Om, did you forget how Tia didn’t make a single fuss of canceling her date with Shivaay - at a place so exclusive that they had the chef who cooked for Brad and Angelina? 

- Rudy back to his shits, pataaoing a sad woman. Child, go and study and do something with your life.

- Sweet Tia, I love it how she didn’t like yelling at the planner for things not being right. 

- Shivaay… I don’t know how to feel.

- Aw, Om giving tea is sweet.

- OK DRAMATIC TEJ JUST STOOD THERE AND JUST… WAS THERE? I love dramatic Tej though.

- Ew, the dramatic relative I don’t like - Bua ji - is back. Getting upset that Anika had a small party planned for Saahil? Arrey someone kill her.

- Oh, Saahil literally fulfilling my plan. Unlike Shyam Manohar Jha, this kid actually knows how to use the power and instantly give Bua ji shock. I’m happy and proud.

- Arrey nacho, the jhatka Buaji got was amazing.

- Damn it, why did she fall on the cake! 

- LOL I HAVE TO QUOTE THIS:

Anika: Saahil, why did you do this?

Saahil: Didi, what did I do? Since then she kept on harping that she’s shocked, she’s shocked so yes - she got ‘shocked’.

- YO DRAMATIC TEJ ENTERS TO RUIN HIS OLDEST SON’S PEACEFUL TIME.  

- Ok, Tej trying to sow hatred between Om and Shivaay thinking Shivaay treats Om like a servant. Ok, great conflict going on between Tej and Om about brother, power, faith, control - etc. 

- LIFE IS NOT A RACE. Wise words Om. 

- I love how Om stands ground and doesn’t allow Tej to brainwash him. 

- Hmm… Pinky overheard. Seriously, Pinky and Tej should’ve been married. 

- Anika and Saahil re-make the cake :D I can’t have enough of this adorbs duo. 

- Hmm… I think Tia is going to end up LOVING Anika’s cake and hiring her for her engagement.

- HUNDRED RUPEES!!!!!! HUNDRED RUPEES ON THE ABOVE STATEMENT.

- AHAHAHA, YES, NILOFER BAKERY - YES I CAN SEE EVERYTHING. 

- Ok, Anika gets the other order and Tia gets the chocolate cake!!!! 

- Aww, Saahil IS SO UNDERSTANDING. He’d rather have whatever the bakery sent than see his sister upset. YES. 

- I agree with Dadi’s logic, a lot of people judge food based on where it is from than what it is. 

- I WANT THAT CAKE!!!! 

- Hehe Shivaay liked it too. Idiot, he likes it too because its from ‘five star’

- Dadi’s psychological trick worked. 

- Awwwwww TIA IS ADORABLE! She immediately took her lesson for the day to not judge a book by its cover. 

- Shivaay, why is road narrow? Why don’t you talk to the MLA and make changes.

- Ok is Dadi today’s psychologist? I love her line “that if God gave you more, then it doesn’t mean you’re more than whom he gave less.”

- Rudy and Om should actually make fun of Shivaay. He has all the issues they accuse Tia of. 

- OH THESE SMALL RESTAURANTS/BAKERIES ARE AMAZING! I REMEMBER HAVING FOOD/CAKE from these places. 

- I AM NOSTRADAMUS! I KNEW IT WILL END UP WITH ANIKA BEING HIRED TO CATER FOR OBEROIS! 

- This chawl literally called Shiv-Parvati. 1000/10 for foreshadowing and the entire Shiv Parvati thing. 

- Oho, Shivaay entering Anika’s house.

- Anika might just kill him. Just saying. 

- Shivaay, calm down and see. 

- SHIVAAY YOU MET YOUR MATCH IN SAAHIL.

- I HATe the weird editing bUT YOU DESERVE IT for calling someone handicapped just because the person didn’t stand up and give you tissue. (Also Saahil genuinely has a limp)

- Shivaay looks good… wet? What’s with all these boys looking good when they’re wet? 

I *grits teeth* AM NOT *sigh* DISTRAC-

*cough* *cough* gif by @pakki-ya-nahin​

- So where was I? Yes, this time the editor took my notes and didn’t play O Jaana. Oh Shivaay, you don’t get the right to demand an apology from Anika!

— The End —

I am very, very excited. So far, things are looking up and to be honest I’m more interested just in the lives of Om, Tia, Jhanvi, Tej, Shakti, Dadi, Shivaay and Anika than actively ‘shipping’ Shivika. Tbh, I’m not even shipping them. When that ‘moment’ will happen - you’ll notice!

See you soon!

- JWB

Next Up: E9

[hoe-imaginess]

OMG THAT MADARA FIC WAS SO GOOD WTH 😩💕💖 I LOVE IT! You did a great job writting this! I hope you are proud of this fic...COZ YOU SHOULD BE 😤👏👏👏 it's almost 5 am and I haven't gone to bed coz I be reading it over and over again 🥺 I swear the way you write Naruto characters in general is amazing, you always know how to portray them accurately even in your own stories! You're an amazing talented human being, thank you for writing this masterpiece 😭💖

!!!! omg thank you so much 💖💖

It wasn’t a fic I was necessarily proud of I just thought some of you guys might want to read it but still I really did not expect this much of a response wowwie

I really really hope I always portray the characters as accurately as possible sksksksks that’s my biggest fear. I’m really glad you liked it!!!

Um.. spoilers (?), if you haven’t read my recent Madara fic, below

Also to every who’s sent me personal messages or reblogged my fic with comments thank you so much! I’ve seen them all and read them and I feel sksksksksaakjshfksjd uwu inside

oof oof oof well since I don’t know if I’m going to ever upload the rest of it, a general plotline of the rest of the fic is:

-yes she keeps the baby

-lots of general ‘madara is being nicer to her now bc she’s pregnant’ scenes that show a bit of his softer side (which was really there all along, just overshadowed by his anger)

-Her generally brushing off his gentleness bc she’s got a lot of anger still. Which pisses him off, but what can he do? She’s pregnant and he thinks it’s his. Speaking of... 

-I never 100% decided who the father was but I did write it a certain way which I... am still gonna keep under wraps, unfortunately. Just in case I ever do want to write more

-Tobirama and the Senju do make an appearance, but a rescue (if there is one) is still a long ways away

-Tobirama’s feelings on the subject

As per the last question, would Tobirama still accept her if the baby isn’t his?... That’s a good question. I never actually sat down to think about it because I haven’t physically written that far. Part of me says no, tbh. Another says yes, but begrudgingly, with a lot of uncertainty in his heart

I wish I had some on hand for you but alas I do not ):

more fuel to the fire that is his hatred for the Uchiha? He’ll take it

She was really out here ready to end Uchiha lives

True!! Honestly whether the baby is Senju or Uchiha, they’re getting taken away immediately. Senju... I... we won’t talk about it 

Uchiha because Madara can’t be sure she won’t do anything rash. And no way he’s letting her harm the baby. That’s his heir now. The whole thing is a little rattling to him but also now pretty important to him

Your English is fine!! And thank you!!

tysm!

I actually had that in my original draft (when I wrote it like... damn... two years ago or something lol) but took it out for 1. to keep the angst going later on and 2. because I didn’t give her a specific occupation, I thought maybe she might have been/be a kunoichi, so her body might be able to handle some of the brunt of Madara’s anger a little better

She would definitely cry okay, she’s bringing the baby into a confusing and harsh world and not even to a father she wants the baby to have

asjkhfkajsdh i love making the angsty food <3

@florssils !!! I didn’t know how else to tag it lmaoooooo kjashdfkjsh “really harsh and traumatic illusions” I didn’t know

Hashirama is constantly keeping Tobirama on a leash omg yes

Although I do think Tobirama is also rational enough to know the Senju have to think this through before trying to launch an attack/take back their land so that’s a big part of the issue too

AHHH on one hand yes that is what I was going for, on the other hand please forgive me

ssksksksksk thank you omg <3 I really wanted it to be an emotional rollercoaster

WELL I actually don’t have a specific ending in mind but it may not be very happy depending on what I choose sksksk. Thank you!

It was something a friend and I started playing with literally yearssss ago and then I just kinda started writing it for myself to get the ideas out

still not sure yet!!!

AHJKSHFKAJSHF Tobirama did you send this ask

[miracvlovs]

✗✗✗   you see [ kaleb yıldırım ] around lately? yeah i heard that the [ cis male ] is up to no good. [ he / him ] has been here for [ five years ] now but they’re still pretty [ abrasive ] which is fine because they’re also [ debonair ] so it balances out. the [ twenty-eight ] year old [ hitman for hire ] actually looks like a lot like [ alperen duymaz ], don’t you think? it’s best to watch out, though, because it’s been said that they’re really into [ strong cigarettes & even stronger whiskey ].

hey, hello, hi, bonjour! s’up buttercups? ‘tis i, your friendly neighbourhood loser chrissie ( a.k.a an irish doofus who is utter plot trash and the actual WORST at keeping track with discord messages, oops ) and i’m super duper excited to be here among you fab human beings! anywho, this is my first kiddo kaleb and he is … how do you say … morally grey. basically his morals are very questionable in every aspect. but! on the plus side, he’s very talented and good at his job even if he is ruthless and callous, oop. he is … the worst and also lowkey messed up inside tbh so pls excuse his blunt and sarcastic nature. plot-wise i’m open to literally anything and everything so come at me with any ideas ya got! i’m always diggity down to spit ball ideas and form some dope connections so pls feel free to invade my ims or hmu on le cord ( chrissie.#9606 ) and we can brainstorm until our heart’s content! if ya wanna, go ahead and light that lil grey heart up red and i’ll shimmy my butt your way for all of the good stuff. anywho, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty, shall we?

fundamentals.

KALEB EMER YILDIRIM     —     twenty-eight, hitman for hire,   +   one snarky son of a gun   /   troubled dude with daddy issues   /   all issues tbh ! 

aesthetics   ➤   dried blood caked into the grooves of cut knuckles, the lingering scent of smoke and gasoline, silver slivers of past scarring, five o’clock shadow peppering a blunt jawline, discolourations of blue and purple decorating battered hands, a subtle smirk etched upon a devious countenance, calloused fingertips riddled with small paper cuts, dark circles under almost-black eyes, the noise of screeching tires in the middle of the night, a tall stature adorned in all-black attire, ghosts of bruises staining calloused skin green, a scuffed zippo lighter in a pack of marlboros containing only one cigarette, white shirts with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, a sly grin under stormy dark eyes, a sniper on the roof of a deserted building, the roar of a car engine, & clenched, white-knuckled fists.

nicknames. kal.

date of birth. november third.

gender. cis male.

pronouns. he + him.

birthplace. manhattan, nyc.

orientation. bisexual + aromantic.

education. bachelor of music degree obtained from manhattan school of music.

spoken languages. can speak fluent english, turkish, spanish, & french.

negative traits. haughty, abrasive, enigmatic, cynical, temperamental, calculating, hedonistic, distant, sarcastic, & volatile.

positive traits. adept, diligent, charming, resilient, candid, adept, charming, audacious, determined, & resourceful.

strengths. efficient, energetic, self-confident, strong-willed, strategic thinker, charismatic, & inspiring.

weaknesses. stubborn, dominant, intolerant, impatient, arrogant, poor handling of emotions, cold, & ruthless.

talents. piano, retaining information, memory recall, lock-picking, carjacking, hand-to-hand combat, automobile knowledge, tracking people down, & excellent problem-solving abilities. 

physiology. dark brown eyes. dark brown hair. six feet, one inch tall. of a lean, broad stature with a straight posture and evident height. has a few silvery scars littered across his skin. has a few tattoos in a few less visible places. is ambidextrous.

psychology. scorpio zodiac. water element. slytherin house. entj-a. chaotic neutral. type eight enneagram. choleric temperament. interpersonal intelligence type. addicted to alcohol, tobacco, prescription drugs, cocaine, and cannabis. suffers from addiction and insomnia. his vices are lust, wrath and pride. his virtues are ... honestly, probably just diligence tbh.

background.

possible triggers   :   infidelity, divorce, alcoholism, drug abuse, cancer, death, car crash, funeral, blood, murder, suicide mention, gun mention, & various references to death and murder. 

a synopsis.   ah, here he is—my tol, troubled, grouchy son : ' ) don't u just adore ur resident trashy, snarky, but precious and sad fuckboi muse? bc i know I DO! anyways, before i digress, i'll cut to the chase. so, waaay before he blessed the universe with his presence, his mother ( who was originally from turkey ) moved to the states where she met one alexander hale. you can probably guess the rest: the pair married, they had children, everything seemed to be going swimmingly, yada yada. here’s a lil background: the hale family—a line of manhattan-born businessmen / lawyers / diplomats etc. they're dripping in wealth, not always as squeaky clean as they portray themselves as to be. kaleb’s dad was a douche, expected both of his sons to follow in his shadow and become lawyers, ran around behind his wife's back: the whole shoot and shebang of a classic a-hole. he always kind of ignored kaleb in favour of his eldest son joshua so kaleb kinda became hard-hearted and resentful due to the lack of his father's attention. skip a few years and he spied his dad cheating on his mother with his secretary though he refused to tell another soul for fear of any potential backlash. soon enough, his mother found this out for herself, their argument ruined his thirteenth birthday party then they divorced soon after. his mother fell off the wagon, became terminally ill—all while his father was remarrying and expecting a daughter with his secretary. it was a hella rough two years for kaleb. it got even worse. eventually, his mother passed away and his step-mother divorced his father to breeze off into the sunset with her new lover; leaving her daughter with her piss-poor excuse of a dad. at this point, kaleb was lonely and angry but adopted the role of his step-sister's protector, shielding her from their father's increasing substance abuse induced violence. just before his seventeenth birthday, his father died in a car crash. of course, he didn't entirely mourn the loss. almost immediately, he and his younger sister moved in with their elder brother who helped kaleb get into university. with dear ole dad out of the picture, he could finally pursue his interest and flair for music. after he graduated, he moved to santa ysabel with his brother and brother's family. in the beginning, things were going fine. yeah, sure, he was struggling for work and felt bad that his brother had to keep him afloat. normal stuff. then, one day, things quickly turned sour in his world. [ TRIGGER FOR GORE, BLOOD, SUICIDE MENTION, GUN MENTION, MURDER, DEATH ] he’d came home to find the locks on the doors busted, advancing into the house carefully only to find his brother’s lifeless corpse crumbled on the kitchen tiles: his throat and wrists slashed, posed as a suicide. of course, kaleb knew better. he knew his brother; knew he would never leave him or his family. upon further inspection of the house, he’d discovered the body of his wife upstairs: a bullet hole between her eyes. [ TRIGGER OVER ] the whole ordeal was enough to turn his stomach but once the sickness had subsided, all kaleb felt was a strong thirst for blood. sure, it was pretty damn stupid to try and seek revenge or whatnot ... but kaleb had always been one to let his heart guide his brain. anyways, time skip now to the moment he’d uncovered his brother’s entanglement with some dodgy loan shark, drug dealing criminals who were responsible for his murder. in the end, he’d hunted them down and eradicated them one by one, over a span of weeks. at first, he hated himself and what his desire for vengeance had turned him into but he kept going until he’d got them all: until he’d grown numb. truthfully, how he wound up taking lives for a living is beyond him. he woke up one day, found himself hired by some big-wig businessman who wanted rid of his business partner and et voilà, he was tangled up in the dark side of existence. i mean, was he blackmailed into doing his first paid hit? yes. but who can blame him? especially when they claimed to have intel regarding the sudden demise of a prominent figure in the criminal underbelly of the city, a.k.a his brother’s killer. it was a risk kaleb simply couldn’t take. he prefers to keep himself anonymous, hidden behind shadows, unsuspecting. death has become a job. nothing more. nothing less. it’s simply the algorithm of his existence: receive a dossier, take care of the target, get paid a hefty lump sum. and all just for enacting a stranger’s revenge in the blood of another. he moves like a deadly phantom, his footsteps light as a feather, whipping through the night like a bullet through a target’s skull. sartre claims that hell is other people. and if you were to stare into kaleb’s eyes—eyes eerily similar to having been cut from coal—you might just see hell and everyone in it staring right back at you. as nietzsche wrote: “ he who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. and if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee. ”

random extras.

he has a lot of small scars over his body, most of which he can’t account for or has forgotten about.

owns and drives a black 1969 boss 429 mustang which he loves arguably more than he loves himself.

speaking of, he actually is full of self-hatred so don’t let the haughtiness fool you.

trusts nobody but himself and is loyal to nobody but himself.

has a lot of anger issues so often ends up taking part in underground fights.

he rates around a solid three on the kinsey scale.

is a distant person; closed-off emotionally and prefers to keep himself to himself.

when it comes to whether or not he is morally decent or an extremely bad person, he is somewhere in the middle of that spectrum.

he isn’t heartless but he isn’t exactly compassionate either.

kind of shady but knows how to pass himself as charming. 

has been thru sum shit n seen sum shit so he’s v messed up inside.

though he does have a soft spot for animals and children.

his marksmanship is impeccable.

he’s naturally gifted with firearms and his shot is always on point.

dark eyes and bruised knuckles are his ultimate aesthetic tbh.

actually really appreciates classical music, though he’ll never tell. blame it on his piano lessons from childhood.

speaking of piano, he’s low key gifted at playing although he rarely does these days.

has a very short fuse and can lose his temper quite easily.

he has a good heart and good intentions when it comes to those he actually cares about although he’ll never let this show.

favourite coping mechanism? isolation.

a bit of a lone wolf. he keeps people at arm’s length but acts in a way where people are under the illusion he’s their friend.

basically the tall, dark and handsome trope: ( most of the tall, dark and handsome men display aloof, cold and distant personality but they do have a gentle and caring side. )

is a little snarky and grumpy but if you manage to break this exterior, you’ll find he’s quite witty and easy going.

he got into fighting at a young age. it was the only way to try and learn how to defend himself against his father.

sleep?? he doesn’t know her.

tends to repress his emotions until he explodes.

healthy coping mechanisms?? he doesn’t know them either.

is prone to pushing the self destruct button.

you can find a pinterest board for him by clicking anywhere here.

[hydralisk98]

Just planning out some ideas for a iCivics WhiteHouse's playtrough video

Hya comrades of the world, I am Klara Kér, better known as Olyvier Bouchard. We are gonna have alot of fun here, so enjoy your stay.

Beware though that as we dive deeper and deeper into the topics at hand, some of you may believe I am against the United States of America or against Republicans. Be sure that as long as you are civil in our conversation I am gonna keep a listening type of ear. Fair, is it clear now? Good, because we got alot to unpack here.

So for the Democrat policies, I stand some official ones as well as some more that are quite niche really.

Federal funding of Education: I agree upon letting some room for a private education market but I cannot stress enough how a well-funded public schools system helps the common folk into jobs and into fuller lives as well. Especially over colleges and universities where the cost of entry has expanded to ludicrous prices. So ya, get your shit together America.

LGBTQ+ rights: As of the latest anti-LGBTQ+ bills in southern America I simply can't stand how primitive some lawmakers are in the USA. It really goes to highlight how much Wilsonism has destroyed alot of potential for America as of human rights and all. When some black-colored inhabited towns are literally getting no clean water in a supposedly fist world nation that is quite the statement of ours backwaters this country is at times.

Global cooperation: We all know Trump has destroyed foreign relations with pretty much the rest of the world making it the joke it is as of today. But that ain't new really. As far back as the infamous Woodrow Wilson, we can see how America has sabotaged itself for long-term longevity barely held together by the vast quality of it's geography. America has lost Russia's trust on WW1, lost France's on WW2-Cold War period, and it is soon gotta fall because of all those poor decisions done starting from Wilson and continued by all the other folks since then.

Climate change: Sooner than later if not already, we are living in a global climate crisis that is gonna make pretty much everybody in the future hate our decision-making quite deeply. And the effects are only gonna get way worse for every second we stay in the current capitalism-induced consumerist status quo. So ya, alleviating the effects of the crisis at a incredibly deep level is pretty much what should be a main focus at the moment. And like I said, the third and second world are gotta pay for most of it whilst we are gonna pay some but definitely gonna profit more than anytihng. Make no mistake, because the steep divide and hatred of those nations towards the West is mostly of our shared society's fault and is probably gonna get real profound in no time at all.

Campaign finances Transparency: Deliberately hiding information that concerns our citizens' policies is quite bad honestly. Get your shit together Biden and answer the call of your country rising left movement caused by your predecessors' stubborness and by yourself alike. Not solving nor trying to solve the issues we got since like forever is quite fighting back against America, the World, Liberty and Progress overall.

More cultural FLOSS-ness: More affordable culture and much more proper lefty-licenced works to use would greatly benefit not simply America but the world as a whole. I mean, the situation over copyrights and reserved permissions only to big corporations is just insane. It really has to let go from those older works and we really deserve some damn free licenced works upon on hands with much easier access, also for the metadata information as well.

Adoption of FLOSS hardware and software into Government: As a Linux user over my server desktop at home besides Windows 10 over my laptop and iOS for my smartphone, I really put a emphasis upon a freer open and libre experience with governmental as some countries do elsewhere. I know the entire governmental tech situation is quite a bit slow most of the time but I think we got alot to win with minimalistic blob-free experience inside government. Especially as we can't trust big corporations to not put backdoors of their own everywhere they can.

Regulating further mega corporations and their oligopolies + encouraging smaller businesses / individuals into innovation and sustainability: I know we live in a digitalized world where big corporations seems better to offer such costful services and all but I think you underestimate the balance with the small businesses and individuals. Seriously, you should reconsider such a balance as whenever a new innovator comes by to challenge authority or even just to bring new innovative products into the market it just fails to deliver long term as they often get bought by those bigger corporations simply to bring profits and not to enhance the products really. Capitalism and consumerism 101 become also big issues with big corporations too as they are not so concerned to sustainability as smaller bodies by law are.

Supporting and legalizing Labor Unions and Cooperatives: I don't know how has America taken so long to go without supporting unions and cooperatives while the rest of the world has but this is a big problem. I know a bit about the Ben Shapiro's but are we seriously gonna trust big corporations to properly protect their employees? Of course in a ideal world we would but this Earth ain't like that my quite a margin. So ya, just looking at Desjardins, especially back in the early 20th century, you can see how decentralized and advantageous this is.

So... what's my whole opinion about the Republicans, especially as of the Trump administration? Well, I have a single word to describe it's entirety and beyond: Wilsonism. Modern 'republicans' and Conservatives could make it count but honestly all you are doing right now is pretty much fueling alot of the bad in this world really. I am building off a fantastical world of my very own for a reason. And it is to get a overall less toxic and more enjoyable world to live in. So ya, Trump and all conservatives of the world, get your entire ideology together and start building up something smarter and way more useful than just whining upon modern progress and liberal policies. I may actually help for that bit if you are sincere and honest about it but meanwhile I am gonna prepare my damn safety exit out of this really mad world. (including the details of such a better Post-Conservative movement)

And before somebody asks why I am writing all those walls of text, no worries, I have some cute animated drawings and edits on it's way as well so ya.

Still Work.In.Progress but I am gonna get there eventually with more visuals and content.

Cya mates.

[onthevirgeofdestruction]

Dreaming While I Wake

Sanders Sides Foster Care AU - Roman-centric Angst & Hurt/Comfort & Abuse Recovery

Roman tries to be upbeat and hopeful despite all the shit that’s happened to him. And a lot of shit has. Luckily, his new foster home is with two literal rays of sunshine (and a sarcastic asshole).

Words: 4,059 Warnings: Death Mention, Doctor Mention, Suicidal Ideation, Foster Care Issues, Anxiety Attack, Bad Self-Image, Bad Self-Talk, Self-Hatred, Stealing/Theft, Desire to be Punished, Food Issues Characters: Roman, Patton, Thomas, Virgil Universe: Dreaming While I Wake Genre: Angst/Family

Chapter 16 

chapter 1 for new readers - ffn mirror

   “Are you doing okay, kiddo?” Patton asked, sitting across the couch and looking at him with those damned kind eyes. Roman didn’t respond. He didn’t feel like he could even form the words without breaking apart. He didn’t even want to think about how not all right he was at the moment, much less articulate it. Patton seemed to get the picture after a lengthy pause, because he changed the subject. “So what were you looking to buy that you wanted a job for?” Patton asked politely. “If you need to sign it, just hold up the letters long enough that I can read it,” Patton added after a prolonged moment of silence. Roman held up his hand to sign the letters, but kept a hold of the glass of water between his legs with the other hand and didn’t look away from focusing on the melting ice cubes in the water.

   “D…S…? Is that right?” Patton said, sounding very confused. After a moment it seemed to click with him. “Like the Nintendo? Kiddo, I think Tomathy had one in his office he doesn’t use,” Patton said plainly, sounding like he shifted on the couch. “I don’t think he’d care if you wanted to borrow it. What game did you want to play on it?” Roman looked up and scrunched up his face, trying to remember that one what had dragons and farming one of his old friends really liked. It took a minute, but he eventually raised his hand to sign the letters. “R-u-n-e-f-a-c-t-o-r-y? What’s that? F-a-r-m? Oh, one of those farming games? Did you want to play something relaxing?” Roman nodded and signed yes. Patton smiled lightly, but his eyes were still laced with concern. As long as he didn’t vocally acknowledge it right now. Roman signed why he wanted to play it. “B-e-d? Not in bed, I hope. B-4? Oh, before. I don’t think Thomas has that one,” Roman shrugged. He was intending to save up for a DS in the first place, buying the game was assumed.

   “Thomas doesn’t have what?” Thomas asked, coming back down the stairs. He didn’t look too distressed, so hopefully that meant Virgil was okay. Part of him wanted to ask, but that meant that meant he had to acknowledge it as his fault and that he also wasn’t okay and Roman wasn’t capable of doing that at the moment.

   “Run-e… factory, I think? Roman wanted to play it to calm down before bed,” Patton explained and nodded to Roman.

   “Runny Factory?” Thomas asked, making a baffled expression and looked to Roman. Roman spelled rune again for him. “Oh! Rune Factory! No, I don’t have that. That’s a fantasy game, right? I’ve heard good things about it, the storyline and music are supposed to be superb,” Thomas said and Roman nodded silently. He just liked the fantasy element and thought breaking up the farming with monster murder would be more interesting than just farming. Breaking up the monster murder with something laid back also seemed cool. He took a deep breath and sipped his water again. His throat was still so tight it hurt a little going down, but he was feeling like maybe he could continue to be okay as long as nobody made him think about himself. “Hey, uh, Roman, did you know?” Thomas asked a little awkwardly and Roman looked up at him in confusion. “About… Virgil?” Thomas finished. Roman put the glass of water between his legs to free up his hand.

   ‘What about him?’ Roman signed.

   “Are you having trouble talking? I’m not any further than learning the alphabet yet, I’m sorry,” Thomas said, sitting next to Thomas. Roman motioned for him to come closer and Thomas complied and leaned in.

   “Know what?” Roman whispered. He could mange whispering right now. He was just trying his damnedest not to break down again. He was not stuck in the shitty boat Virgil was. He picked back up his water cup and held it with both hands.

   “That maybe he also has PTSD from… other homes?” Thomas asked softly, looking disconcerted.

   “What do you mean also?” Roman whispered.

   “The ER doctor thinks you have it. Do you remember being in the ER?” Thomas asked, sounding concerned.

   “Not much,” Roman said under his breath. This was going into territory Roman wasn’t so comfortable in.

   “There’s stuff about PTSD I guess we didn’t realize until now, I guess. Like that it wasn’t just about certain triggers,” Thomas clarified. “Did he say anything to you?” Thomas asked with concern.

   “He might have mentioned it,” Roman whispered. “He noticed I was… worried about you guys hitting me and he told me I was safe. Then explained that it’s why he noticed. He implied he didn’t like talking about it. I kind of agree with him,” He admitted. He didn’t want to talk about it right now, for sure, but talking about it any time wasn’t ideal.

   “I wish one of you would have told us, but I can’t fault you for not wanting to think about it,” Thomas looked frustrated for a moment, but his face softened again when he saw Roman back up slightly. “Have you heard of age regression?” Thomas asked. That seemed out of the blue. It baffled Roman enough that he no longer was shying away from Thomas.

   “That’s that thing perverts do, isn’t it?” Roman asked quietly and raised an eyebrow at Thomas, a little confused on why he would bring it up.

   “What?” Thomas looked just as bewildered as Roman felt. “Oh, I hate having to google these things,” He muttered. “Not that. This is medical,” Thomas said more clearly and sighed, shaking his head. Oh, well, that’s good, maybe? “Sometimes certain triggers can cause age regression in PTSD patients. Do you know how I know how I know you had a gun pulled on you?” Thomas asked, looking like he was examining Roman now. It unnerved him a bit.

   “No,” Roman muttered, watching Thomas nervously in return and gripping the cold glass firmly.

   “Because you told me. You were a very mouthy 13-year-old. You also thought I was Satan for a bit,” Thomas said, sounding kind of amused. Roman stared at him for a moment while he processed what Thomas said. When he realized he that he might have cussed out Thomas, his eyes widened and he shut them tight, trying to to freak out. Thomas didn’t deserve his defensive bullshit. He had to put up an aggressive front or people wouldn’t take him seriously. It didn’t pay off for him in the end, though, and he regretted ever doing it.

   “Sorry,” Roman choked out and tensed up.

   “No, no, it was kind of cute,” Thomas chuckled weakly and looked to Roman reassuringly. Roman took a deep breath and tried to settle down. Cute wasn’t exactly what Roman was going for, but at least he didn’t hurt Thomas’s feelings or anything. “Well, Other than the fact that you were disappointed you didn’t die. You don’t still feel like that, do you?” Thomas asked softly, sounding sad. Roman’s shoulders flinched, and he swallowed hard.

   “Doesn’t everybody?” Roman whispered, joking weakly. The small broken laugh that accompanied it wasn’t the most convincing thing he’d ever done.

   “No, Roman, that’s not normal,” Thomas said, putting his arm on the couch over Roman’s shoulder’s without touching him. Roman could feel the heat from his arm but appreciated not being touched. He was even closer to breaking down now, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold out. “You got a referral for a psychiatrist at the ER and I’ll be making you an appointment, okay?”

   “No, Thomas, please! I’ll be good, I’ll try not to-” Roman started babbling loudly, shooting a desperate look up to him.

   “Hey, kiddo, it’s okay!” Patton held his hands up and cut Roman off. Roman held his lips closed tight in a thin line.

   “Why are you scared of the psychiatrist?” Thomas looked pointedly at Roman.

   “My… They’ll know- The foster people. That I’m a bad kid. And then they won’t be able to place me, and then I’ll be stuck in one of those holding centers, they’re worse than the group homes, they’re really awful and that’s… I just can’t,” Roman rambled choked on a sob. He sniffled and dropped back against his cup, a tear breaking loose despite how hard he fought against it.

   “Why are you worried about going to a holding center?” Patton asked, sounding concerned.

   “’Cuz having mental health record is bad and harder to place since I’d be special needs,” Roman mumbled between his legs, starting to cry.

   “Do you still think we’re sending you back on Friday, Roman?” Thomas sounded sad.

   “Maybe,” Roman breathed.

   “I missed that,” Thomas said. Roman looked up and glanced at Thomas.

   “You should! I don’t belong here! I belong somewhere crappy where I’m too busy trying to survive to have to think about things. I never… I never struggled like this. At least not until I got used to not having Remus around,” Roman sighed, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. He and Remus had a shitty time when the memories were fresh, but losing Remus was worse.

   “Actually, sometimes people who have been in a hard situation for a long time usually struggle in more positive environments because they’re not sure how to process love and support. Did getting separated from your brother really hurt?” Patton piped up, sounding very compassionate when he suggested an explanation. Roman barely understood what he meant, but he could follow the question easily.

   “It was like they took half of me away when they tore us apart,” Roman grumbled.

   “Maybe because it was the last bit of stability and support you had, you closed off and just tried to deal with the situation, and you’ve been doing that ever since,” Patton offered, continuing his explanation. Roman couldn’t completely follow, though.

   “What?” Roman asked. His head hurt and he didn’t comprehend a lick of that. Some more tears broke free, and he sniffled again.

   “I think you belong here,” Patton said resolutely. Roman could follow that much easier. Wait, what the fuck? No, he couldn’t!

   “What?” Roman asked more incredulously, wiping his eyes.

   “You love Disney and The Princess Bride and books and you’re kind and considerate and quick and Lita loves you. And Virgil’s opened up more since you got here, so I think he likes you, too,” Patton said, holding up a finger. “You fit in just fine! All the other stuff isn’t you. It’s what you’ve been through,” He smiled brightly, looking confident. That didn’t make sense, though. He was a fuck up for a castle keep full of reasons.

   “I wasn’t able to sleep or keep track of time or sit still or do well in school before everything else. There’s plenty of stuff that I’m bad at, that’s all me,” Roman grumbled in objection.

   “And there're ways you can learn to cope with all of that when you’re somewhere safe,” Patton provided.

   “I can’t stay here,” Roman rested his chin on his legs and stared forward, feeling despondent. He couldn’t stop the stray tears, but he was too empty to freak out anymore. Thomas looked bewildered and sad out of the corner of his eyes, but he said nothing.

   “And why is that?” Patton asked evenly, though his eyes looked sad.

   “I’ll…” Roman dropped his head into his legs again. He couldn’t bring himself to say it.

   “You’ll what?” Patton urged him to continue.

   “It’s selfish, and it’s unrealistic,” Roman grumbled, shifting to sip his water. A timer in the kitchen dinged and Thomas got up. Roman flinched from the motion and sighed. He was so on edge it physically hurt. He was buzzing with restlessness but too tired and sad to even start figuring out how he could fix it.

   “How about I decide that?” Patton asked softly.

   “I have to get to go to a home that’s willing to take two kids when Remus also needs placement. I’ll never see him again until we turn 18 if I don’t. If he doesn’t hate me by then, anyway,” Roman sighed again and looked up to the ceiling.

   “I promise we’ll take you to see him when we can, Roman,” Patton said, and he sounded like he meant it, unlike most other times he’s heard it. Though he could never really trust adults meant it when they offered, though. He’d been burned too many times before. Patton probably only meant it at the moment, but it would be too much when the time came, just like always.

   “But I won’t get to be his brother again,” Roman said despondently. “Whisper nonsense words and have him completely understand me. Play fight like the fate of the world depends on the outcome. Write stories with him that turn into whole universes. All the stuff we used to have. The brother stuff you can only have when you’re a kid and you live together,” Patton looked somber but didn’t say anything. There really wasn’t anything to say.

   “I hope you’re hungry, Roman,” Thomas called from the kitchen.

   “You know I’m not,” Roman groaned loudly.

   “Too bad!” Thomas called back. Roman sighed and sipped his water again.

   “I would miss you guys… I’m not trying to say I don’t… appreciate you being nice and stuff. As much as it drives me up the wall,” Roman chuckled weakly and Patton pouted at that. “I just… I’ve been going this long on the hope I’d get him back. I got through everything I did because I never let go of the hope of being reunited, you know? I just can’t let go of that. And I don’t want to make it harder to be placed and then lessen my chances even further of getting to be with him again. I’ll be good, I promise, okay? I just can’t have that go on my records,” Roman begged him.

   “How about I talk to your caseworker about it when we see him Friday? See what we can do without it going on your state records?” Patton offered gently, looking strangely conciliatory for someone who did nothing wrong.

   “I’m a ward of the state who is just staying at your house. They own my ass,” Roman bit, though there was very little energy or aggression behind it, mostly just tired frustration with his situation.

   “Roman, I know you’re upset, but you don’t have to be mean,” Patton chided, frowning slightly.

   “Sorry,” Roman sighed heavily. “Right after I said I’d be good and everything,” Roman muttered to himself sourly. Roman wished he knew how to stop being a bastard already.

   “It doesn’t hurt to ask,” Patton said. “And I’m going to either way as your guardian, but I’d much rather you be on board with it,” Patton said gesturing with his hand.

   “Thanks for your honesty, I guess,” Roman rolled his eyes. “I’m on board as long as it doesn’t hurt my chances,” It was just asking, not acting in it. Roman leaned back again and put his cup down on the side table. He was so fucking itchy still. Thomas couldn’t see him, though, it was just Patton in the room. He probably wouldn’t freak out at a little itch. Roman scratched at the edges of the bandages and exhaled in relief as he itched at the adhesive, which stung slightly.

   “No scratching!” Thomas called from the kitchen and Roman froze in complete and utter bafflement.

   “What the actual fuck, Thomas?” Roman groaned loudly enough to project into the kitchen.

   “Dad powers,” Thomas said seriously. “Apologize for cursing,”

   “Sorry for saying fuck,” Roman huffed and dropped his arms in defeat to the couch with a light thud.

   “Roman,” Patton said firmly, furrowing his eyebrows at him.

   “Sorry for saying it again,” Roman rolled his eyes and saw Virgil come back down the stairs. He looked pretty okay other than kind of tired, which was relieving.

   ‘Saying fuck in front of Pat twice?’ Virgil signed. ‘Props,’ He fingerspelled.

   ‘Nice to see your dumb face again,’ Roman signed back.

   ‘Can’t say the same to you,’ Virgil signed and smirked at him before sitting back down at his controller and starting to play again. He glanced over to Patton, who mostly just seemed to be considering something. Roman was just glad the conversation was over. He turned his eyes back to the TV screen to watch the game again. He slowly loosened back up as he watched Virgil play. The long scarf physics were really eye-catching, and he just let himself drift to that.

   “Dinner’s ready!” Thomas called after an interminable period of silently watching the cloaked guy running through the level. Patton smiled at them and got up and headed to the kitchen. Virgil looked Roman up and down after he paused the game.

   ‘You don’t look capable of crime,’ Virgil signed and looked at him disbelievingly. Wow, Virgil didn’t beat around the bush.

   ‘Thanks?’ Roman signed, raising an eyebrow. Maybe that was a good thing?

   ‘Can you do anything other than sell drugs?’ Virgil signed.

   ‘You cut right to the point,’ Roman made a face at him. He wasn’t sure what Virgil was getting at, but it was weird to straight-up ask.

   ‘Can you?’ Virgil signed again.

   ‘I can pick pockets and pick locks,’ Roman fingerspelled. He could do other things, too, but he wasn’t as ashamed of those things as the others.

   ‘No shit?’ Virgil signed and some excitement in his eyes leaked into the disbelieving expression.

   ‘Seriously,’ Roman signed back and nodded.

   ‘You’re lying,’ Virgil frowned. Fucker. Roman wasn’t lying.

   ‘I’ll prove it,’ Roman signed, getting up from the couch. He had to talk carefully and tenderly to the kitchen on his fucked up feet, but found a stride.

   Thomas was still at the stove getting things on to serving dishes and Patton was putting water cups at the table. This was too freaking easy. Roman picked Thomas’s wallet as he passed and nonchalantly slid it in his pocket. He sat down and smiled at Patton, who smiled back and sat down. Virgil joined them at the table and stared at Roman, clearly waiting for him to do something. Roman smirked and pulled Thomas’s wallet out, throwing it at Virgil. He caught it and looked between the wallet and Roman. Patton looked up from serving himself food and saw them.

   “Virgil, why do you have your wallet at the table?” Patton asked, peering closer. “Actually, isn’t that Thomas’s? Did you find it somewhere?” Patton asked, taking it from Virgil’s hands. “Virgil found your wallet, Thomas,” Patton said as Thomas walked over with the last of the food and placed it down on the table, looking confused.

   “What? I don’t remember taking it out. Thank you, Virgil,” Thomas said, taking the wallet back from Patton and sliding it back in his back pocket before sitting down. Roman leaned on the table and smirked, raising his eyebrow at Virgil in anticipation.

   ‘You absolute bastard,’ Virgil signed, looking extremely impressed. Roman took a bow.

   ‘Careful, it’s not all I can do,’ Roman sat back in his chair, looking concernedly at all the food now.

   ‘Don’t threaten me with a good time,’ Virgil signed back before reaching over to serve himself a giant pile of tater tots. He served a single tater tot to Roman with a smirk before reaching out to grab a piece of chicken.

   “I’m not beyond serving you food and sitting here until you eat it,” Thomas eyed Roman. Roman sighed and grabbed a small piece of chicken and a single scoop of vegetables. “That’s half as much as Virgil is eating, Roman,” Thomas said critically.

   “I’m 100% positive he’s powered by a black hole,” Roman objected sourly, motioning to Virgil.

   ‘Thanks,’ Virgil smirked and started eating.

   “Teenagers are biologically hungry, and you are not exempt,” Thomas corrected him.

   “It’s fine,” Roman huffed.

   “I think we’ve successfully established you don’t have the best impression of what fine is, Roman,” Thomas said critically and leaned back in his chair.

   “Thomas, sassing Roman isn’t nice,” Patton chided him. “Just take a tiny bit more, okay, kiddo?” Patton looked at him pleadingly. Virgil served Roman another single tater tot.

   ‘There. More,’ Virgil signed and Roman laughed. This fucking guy.

   “Thank you,” Roman smiled and signed as he spoke.

   “Virgil, don’t encourage him,” Thomas frowned and chided Virgil.

   ‘Sure. You suck, Roman,’ Virgil signed with a lopsided grin.

   “Oh, I’m wounded,” Roman put his palm to his forehead and leaned back dramatically. It did actually start to smell good, at least. Roman began eating slowly, trying to get it over with, but the more he ate the easier it finally felt and the more his stomach woke up. It stopped hurting when he ate, and he ate more comfortably. “Thanks for dinner, Mr. Sanders,” He said absentmindedly as he reached out for another serving of vegetables.

   “Um, you’re welcome, Roman,” Thomas sounded a little confused, but the food was good and Roman didn’t bother looking up from eating. He grabbed a second piece of chicken, as well, after finishing the first one. Virgil knocked on the table and Roman looked up at him.

   ‘Are you going to tell them you stole his wallet?’ Virgil asked. Roman put down his fork and swallowed.

   ‘Why?’ Roman signed back, confused. Tell them he stole from Thomas? That was dumb.

   ‘Because they won’t be mad and I want to see their faces,’ Virgil signed. Maybe they wouldn’t and everything would be chill. But if they did get mad, maybe he’d finally get punished and fell right in the freaking world again. It seemed like a win-win scenario with a bonus of amusing Virgil.

   ‘Fair,’ Roman shrugged. He finally felt awake and feeling impulsive. Virgil laughs, well, as much as he does, and Roman gets sent to his room without dessert or something assuredly way too tame for what he did.

   “You didn’t lose your wallet, Thomas. I picked your pocket,” Roman said flippantly, eating one of his two tater tots. They both stared at him dubiously and exchanged a look before looking back at Roman. Virgil leaned forward to watch, looking amused already.

   “…Why?” Patton asked after a quiet moment of confusion. Virgil did that silent laughing thing behind his hand.

   “He didn’t believe me,” Roman pointed to Virgil. “I didn’t take anything. I don’t think it’s right to steal money. I just wanted to prove I could,” Roman explained with a smug smile and a little shrug. Roman had enough money stolen from him that he genuinely couldn’t bear to do it to anyone else anymore.

   “Why can you…” Patton started to ask but trailed off. He probably answered his own question as Roman raised his eyebrow and leaned on his arm.

   “I learned how to do lots of things,” Roman passed his hand over the tater tot on his plate and it disappeared. Roman passed it quickly behind his back and popped it in his mouth while they were all looking at the plate. “Magic!” He announced. Stoners fucking loved sleight of hand. He once got a fifty dollar tip from a guy who was completely blasted.

   Lita weaved under his feet and he shivered from the dog fur through his sock. His feet were still feeling raw from his run this morning. Roman pulled them up and went back to eating his vegetables. Thomas looked shocked and Patton beamed in delight. Virgil looked unimpressed as usual and returned to going to town on the pile of tater tots.

   “Do you know any other magic tricks, Roman?” Patton asked with a sparkle in his eye.

   “I know sleight of hand and card tricks, not any magic-magic tricks,” Roman shrugged. “Nothing fancy,”

   “Well, will you show me one after dinner?” Patton smiled, returning to cutting up his chicken.

   “Do you know the four kings in the tower?” Roman asked, interested in getting to show off.

   “No,” Patton shook his head, looking invested already.

   “Then that it shall be,” Roman declared regally, twisting his fork in the air. He rolled his eyes at his own idiocy and returned to eating.

Personal Taglist: @bunny222 @elizabutgayer @prinxietyforever @kanene-yaaay-o-retorno @the-sympathetic-villain @croftersjam15

the taglist repository:

High school:  @dragonwithproblems @starlight-era @averykedavra  @potatsanderssides

Roman Angst:  @k1ngtok1 

Hurt Comfort:  @callboxkat @nonasficcollection @supernovainthenightsky @evoodo123

Roman-Centric:  @smileyzs  @robinwritesshitposts @thatgaydemigodnerd 

Fostering AU:  @i-am-not-a-dinner-roll 

literally everything sanders sides:  @katelynn-a-fan @dwbh888 @grouptalekindnesssoul @the-hoely-bleach @anvil527up @fanficloverinthesun  @brain-deadx0 @the-grounded-raven  @ananonsplace @ollyollyoxinfree

[asterekmess]

S3A - E3

Hiya, back with another episode of the rewatch. I am...not looking forward to this episode. *deep breath* here we go.

Read More’s save sanity

Hey, so I know this is a really heavy first bullet point...but isn’t anybody else uncomfortable with the image of a black boy running around out of his mind with fury and bloodlust and going after little...white kids? Am I reading too much into this? I know Cora’s running around too. I just...whatever, I’m just gonna keep my mouth shut.

Straight from way too heavy to way too light. So that girl dropped a big jar of fireflies, but they say that fireflies that actually glow aren’t native to California, which would mean these are part of the whole magic thing going on, and at the end of the whole firefly thing they get rid of all the fireflies. So...what if someone finds that jar and opens it?

...nevermind the jar opened up somehow...

Okay, listen, I have a petty and biased hatred for this moment with Scott. Like...is it so hard to say, “I had to get the kids he was chasing away from him?” It’s not like they don’t have time..they just stand there in silence for a while. I also hate the savior pose he strikes there with the kids clinging to him. Like, I get that it’s a very common trope. I still hate it. I use the anti-scott tag for a reason, let me be salty.

why te fuck does Scott FLOAT in the intro?

Lydia has seriously emptied an entire bottle of ibuprofen? She should be dead. Or at least at a hospital. She’s too smart not to know how dangerous it is to take ibuprofen (even the recommended dosage) for too long at a time.

Lydia...Lydia knows about werewolves now. Did no one tell her about this whole escape plan for the betas? She could’ve helped.

Cue the shitty SFX running. Y’all look ridiculous.

Man, come on. Are you seriously telling me that Derek never played hide and seek with his siblings? Like, they’re werewolves for fuck’s sake. Derek never did fake chases through the woods? He tracked PETER for christ’s sake, all the way across town. He was like yards behind him before he got shot that one time.

This show relies a lot on character’s losing time and just finding themselves places. Jackson losing time, Lydia losing time. Lydia losing time again, but in a new way. Later, it’ll be Stiles losing time. I’m just saying, it happens a lot.

It’s fucking august in California. Does it actually get that cold? Poor Lydia’s nose is always red cus she gets forced to wander around in the dark and freezing. I can see her goosebumps when she kneels next to the pool.

I know it’s gotta be hell on her voice, but I think it’s so interesting the way Lydia screams and how it has to jump around the chords before hitting that one note. I don’t know why I find that so interesting. Guess it just reminds me of a wolf howl. Seriously, look ‘em up. Weirdly similar. GO  Holland!

What do you mean the last memory that she had of her mother, Scott? You should’ve told her RIGHT THEN. Right off the bat. There was TONS of time between her getting bit and when she died. You should’ve told Allison right away. Fuck you, you had all of spring break!

god fucking damn it now I’m crying again. Erica, sweetie...Derek honey...

I’m trying to get past the tears to enjoy this romancey stuff, with the candles and the lil lamps, and the LOTR references. I’m really trying.

This is totally not what I should be thinking about while watching the two of them make out, but like, so does Caitlin not go to their school? She just sort of appears a couple times, but Stiles doesn’t seem to know her. Maybe she went to the same school as Heather?

don’t like bugs don’t like bugs ew ew ew ew

Hi cora!

Isaac! You’re somehow feeling better, even though you were apparently out of commission like an hour or two ago...wait huh?

I gotta say, okay, listen I just can’t help it. I know this is serious, but that lil smirk on Isaac’s face? I don’t think he looks smug, personally, I think he looks like he’s about to go play, go rolling around in the grass and leaves, playing with a pack member. He’s been alone for so long this summer, what with Jackson leaving. he’s had no wolves to play with (cus’ we know Derek’s a grump). As worried as he’s gotta be, I bet he’s having funnnnnn.

I..uh..Cora what sound is coming out of your mouth? That..that does not sound like a wolf. That sounds like a wild cat of some kind. Wolves don’t make that screechy noise. They bark and growl, like the sound that came just before. That doesn’t even sound like a roar. Who gave you cheetah sounds?? You’re canine, not feline. Come on they did SO WELL with Derek’s sounds-- No. NO Do not tell me they gave Cora cat sounds cus she’s a chick. I’m gonna fight someone. (For those of you interested, if you scroll to the bottom of this webpage, you can listen to wolf growl snippets and they’re such good quality (I think the bark snippet is broken tho). Listen to those whimpers and whines too, fucking fascinating. I love wolves. Such beautiful animals.)

Cora with Isaac and Scott attacking her and growling at her: “Fuck you, I’ll bite you!” Cora with Derek just growling at her: “BYE bro!”

Stiles, honey! I missed you! Literally, just the sound of your voice makes me feel better.

Scott, Seriously, Derek just said you haven’t tracked either of them anywhere near the pool. You’ve both been following them all night! Yeah, they’re dangerous, but they couldn’t get to the pool and back in time to fight you! I”M GONNA SMACK YOU. DOn’t use that fucking patronizing tone of voice when Derek is TELLING YOU FACTS.

OUR fault? OUR FAULT? I’m gonna fucking *kicks a chair and storms off, grumbling* *Spins around, cus fuck it i’m gonna yell. it’s my post.* NONE OF THIS is DEREK”S FAULT. NOne of this is ISAAC’S FAULT. Fuck dude, I’ll even say that it’s not Scott’s fault! If it’s anyone other than the Alphas’ fault, it’s Allison’s, but tbf she thought she was helping.

DEREK SHUT YOUR PRETTY MOUTH. I swear to god.

ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING? DEREK WOULD NEVER SUGGEST MURDERING BOYD AND CORA. NEVER. He thought Cora was fucking dead and he just found out she’s alive! HE WOULD NEVER. NEVER. FUCK YOU. FUCK EVERYTHING. *Throws a plate* YOU KNOW YOU ONLY FUCKING WROTE IT SO THAT YOU COULD SHOW OFF SCOOT MCFUCKFACE’S SUDDEN FLIP IN MORALITY BY HAVING HIM SAY THAT “KILLING ISN’T THE RIGHT THING TO DO” OH REALLY Scott? REALLY? Killing is bad? YOU DIDN’T THINK SO WHEN YOU SPENT MONTHS attempting to commit PREMEDITATED MURDER of a GUY WHO WAS ALREADY DYING. MONTHS. Scott. FUCK YOU. FUCK THIS SHOW. 13 minutes in and I’m already about to chuck my laptop across the room. MY CAT WON’T EVEN CUDDLE ME ANYMORE I’M SO ANGRY.

And now I’m really fucking sad, cus’ I hate watching this poor girl get told she’s just hallucinating.

WHY does everyone go shopping at fucking 8 pm in Beacon Hills? What...Chris you don’t even have a day job.

I don’t...I don’t understand this scene with Isaac. Like..what exactly are they trying to imply? That he thinks she’s hot? All he’s seen is her raging around with fangs free and glowing eyes. And yeah, some people definitely think that’s hot. But like...that’s just so...what? I choose to read this scene as him just wondering about Derek’s home life. Like, “Since when do you have siblings? Why don’t you tell me these things? I have an aunt?”

WHAT DO YOU mean “Your world?” CHRIS YOU GREW UP AS A HUNTER. THIS IS YOUR WORLD TOO. He was YOUR dad. You’ve been a part of this WAY longer than Scott! Don’t blame the werewolves for ruining your life! THAT WAS YOUR DAD and YOUR STUPID HUNTER CODE’S FAULT.

OKay, listen, I have so many issues with this I need a therapist to mediate my conversations with it. FUCK YOU TW for bringing in Chris. I dont’ give a fuck if he’s experienced or trying to redeem himself. He is a HUNTER he has Slaughtered Derek’s kind for his entire life. He may want to do the right thing, but the right thing definitely doesn’t involved him Standing in front of Derek and forcing him to listen to hunter PROPAGANDA BULLSHIT. I’M SO FUCKING MAD. This was so inappropriate, holy shit. SO far beyond okay. Even the CONCEPT that werewolves wouldn’t be as good at tracking other werewolves as hunters are is fucking stupid. You said it yourself, Chris they can follow scent up to TWO MILES AWAY. Wolves can track their prey for weeks without losing the scent. Just because Isaac stepped on some footprints doesn’t mean he’s incapable of finding them. And what’s all this shit about them “Being able to rely on their human half”? NO? First off, minor detail. Werewolves aren’t half wolf, half human, dumbass. They’re all werewolf. AND The show has said like Ten TIMES that they can’t access their human form/the thought processes they would normally have during a full moon without an anchor, and Boyd and Cora are effectively anchorless on this moon. This is just utter bullshit and I’m so goddamn angry I don’t even know how to process it. “If you’re not trained like me you have no idea this print is Boyd’s” YEAH THEY DO. THEY CAN LITERALLY SMELL IT.  DEREK ALREADY IDENTIFIED THE TRACKS. FUCK you.

ALSO. Getting REAL SICk of people slicing their wrists every time they need a little blood for a ritual or for bait. YOU CUT THE MEAT of the arm. ON THE BACK. WHERE YOU WON”T HIT a VEIN. DUMBASSES.

WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK DO YOU MEAN NINE YEARS DEREK? YOU’D BETTER MEAN CORA WAS NINE YEARS OLD, CUS’ THE FIRE WAS SIX YEARS AGO. and what do you mean you don’t have a lock on her scent? you’ve been following it just fine all night! Wolves remember human scents decades later.

Booooo, i hate the entire concept of wolves going mad on a full moon. It’s lazy and boring. Wolves are not vicious animals, they’re shy as fuck. THey don’t attack without reason. Werewolves should be the same. Full moon’s enhance their wolfishness, so it should make them MORE SHY. The moon should enhance whatever they feel, rather than just making them mindlessly aggressive.

“Primal apex Predatory satisfaction”? seriously? Shut the FUCK up Chris, I’m really fucking sick of your hunter bedtime stories.

....i hate this woman.

Casual reminder that Isaac wouldn’t suggest Killing boyd. Ever. I fucking hate these writers.

yeah yeah, running scene. blah blah blah.

See, I never really understood those fics where Peter just refuses to give anyone any info. He tells Derek what’s up constantly. He didn’t lie or hold anything back when he helped Derek figure out what was up with Jackson or how Jackson needed Lydia to be cured. He walks right up to Derek and says “Hey, so those Alphas clearly want you to join them and that means they’re trying to make you kill your own pack” Peter helps Derek all the time. He’s just a dick while he does it.

Look, I love this moment with Peter, his “Let Scott be the hero of his morally black and white world. You and I, we live in shades of gray” lines are so good, and they speak so much to his character and personality. And he’s right. But I hate that they built the scene around Derek planning to kill his own pack, and following Scott around doing as he asks. I just hate what they do to Derek here.

The dog whistles suddenly have no effect on their hearing? Love it.

Take a second to bring up a plotline you won’t explain for ages. I vibe with that, so long as it is eventually explained.

OOh, suddenly BHHS has a football field?

Not gonna cry, not gonna cry. FUCK I’m crying again.

I just...dude I’m over here trying not to completely lose my shit and cry like a baby, and Stiles is in the middle of panicking and losing his oldest friend and he still puts the dots together. Like. Jesus christ this boy.

NOW Derek? You choose NOW to take Every Single Step down the stairs? JUMP.

...what is this a cartoon? Glowing eyes in the dark? one too many sets? Yeah, yeah, I get it, they’re supposed to look like fireflies.

Why did you stop to look at each other after blasting them? Just go.

OH, yeah, of course Scott has to be the one to hear the extra heartbeat. Scott. Not Derek. Not the ALpha who’s senses are heightened above the a Beta’s. Not DEREK the ALPHA who has a PACK, which makes his senses even stronger that that. No. Scott. The omega. Because he’s like an inch closer to the door. Yah. Sure. That makes sense. SUre.

Dude I wish my high school had that much backup supplies free for the teacher’s to grab. Also, I hate this woman.

WHy were the lights off in the boiler room if she was in the back grabbing stuff? That..what?

OH. I forgot, so Caitlin’s out of high school? She’s...what, 18? 19? Okay, fine, I’ll take that.

Oh stop faking Jennifer, fuck you.

Crying again. dont’ mind me. This is Derek. Not choosing to kill his beta or his long lost sister. Choosing to die himself instead. THAT is Derek (it’s self-sacrificing and it’s because he gives his own life no worth, but it’s still him.)

HOW IS IT DAWN? THAT WOULD BE like 6 HOURS of standing around! Or did the sun not set until like 10 pm? Hm? This show has no concept of time, and werewolves are very time oriented. Someone take away the show from the writers. They’ve lost their privileges.

I hate this. I hate that Isaac shouts for Scott. Not Derek. That’s just so fucking dumb. I’m so tired of it. I’m just so fucking sick of it.

I don’t even wanna look at this. I hate this woman so much.

YOU REALIZE that the third Virgin was Taken. The third virgin is DEAD. the sacrifices have been made, and now Jennifer has control over people. This is where she starts controlling Derek. Right Fucking Here. He loses his agency the moment they touch, if not the moment they make eye contact or he gets in range. I hate it. I HATE IT.

BOOM. Episode three, and Stiles already has the villain after next figured out. He’s past the Alphas now. 

Final Thoughts: I’m angry, I’m tired, and I honestly got very little joy or interest out of this whole episode. I hate what this show did to werewolves and how much insane Scott glorification there is and how every little thing HAS to be about Scott. Scott’s relationship with Chris. Scott saving the kids. Scott’s the one Isaac calls for. Scott’s the one who hears the heartbeats. I get that he’s the main character. I also hate that he’s the main character. It’s just so sad and pathetic and boring and just....ugh. I’m going to bed. I will try for another episode or two tomorrow.

(I promise I’m okay. Just go listen to the wolf howls for me in that link, huh? Listen to those beauties and imagine how amazing a wolf show could have been.)

[jbuffyangel]

The Good and the Bad: Arrow 8x09 Review (Green Arrow & the Canaries)

Arrow did another backdoor pilot for the spin-off even though 7x16 felt like one, 

but it’s clear from this episode things have been… retooled. 

Not always for the better. I liked Green Arrow and The Canaries more than I disliked it, but I’m an easy sell. If Olicity’s progeny are available via my television then I’m watching. Period. End of discussion. 

There’s good content for the writers to mine, but there’s definitely some kinks to work out.

Doing things a little different with this review. Yes, I can change. 

It didn’t feel like a fully fleshed out episode and I have a feeling we’ll be repeating this pilot in some form if Green Arrow and The Canaries is greenlit, so for now we’ll just hit the highlights – the good and the bad.

Let’s dig in…

What I Loved

This is the first episode immediately after Crisis, so we don’t entirely know how the present day is impacted, but the future certainly is bright. Mia and William have grown up in an almost paradise. Star City is the safest city in the country. There’s been no crime for almost twenty years and it’s all thanks to the city’s hero – Oliver Queen.

Source: feilcityqueen 

It’s nice to see Oliver being honored years later by the ungrateful twats of Star City. They are slightly less ungrateful in my eyes. However, it’s even more wonderful to see that Oliver’s children grew up safe, protected, and maybe even a little pampered. It’s everything he wanted for them. 

The big stick with this carrot of course is Oliver not being able to raise William and Mia.

Mia Smoak is the princess we were promised and she is ready to ascend the throne. I loved everything about her character. 

Source: kathmcnamara 

The alternate timeline/universe (?) has softened Mia. There’s no anger. No dark and twisty past. No hatred of vigilantes. No resentment over lies and betrayals. 

Mia knows her father was a hero, but she hasn’t grown up hiding out in a cabin with Felicity. Instead she grew up with William in the Queen Mansion (where she currently resides). On the surface, Mia’s life has been pretty friggin perfect, even if she’s a little adrift. That said, the Grand Canyon sized hole in her life is that her dad is gone.

Source: oliverxfelicity

Mia blissfully wakes 

Source: kathmcnamara

and is proposed to by… JJ DIGGLE!

Source: kathmcnamara 

We have a scantily clad naked Diggle boy and he’s already dropping down on one knee. This show is my crack.

This also means JJ Diggle isn’t evil! Plot twist!! Dun dun DUNNN!!!

Source: kathmcnamara 

Mia says yes after a brief hesitation and the DIGGLE BROTHER LOVE TRIANGLE HAS COMMENCED. I know I’m the only person who wants this love triangle, but I don’t care. 

JJ is the “good” brother and Connor isn’t “evil” but he seems like a colossal screw up with questionable facial hair. 

But also maybe I like the facial hair? 

It’s clear he has an adversarial relationship with Mia, but so many romances have been born from loathing. Enemies to lovers is a classic trope. I’m all in.

Of course, we’re supposed to expect Connor in Mia’s bed since the Season 7 flash forwards more than hinted at a brewing romance between the two, 

but instead it is JJ. A plot twist the Olicity fandom called ages ago.

John Jr. is new and improved though. There isn’t much to dislike about this version of him. He’s kind, sweet, sexy, attentive and pulling out expensive jewelry in the first five minutes. What’s not to love? There’s a smol and tol aesthetic happening too. Everyone knows that’s my shipping jam.

Things immediately get rocky though (pun intended). First, JJ gives Mia the Queen family engagement ring. 

Source: arrowdaily 

Mia makes a point of saying it was her mother’s which gives me the feels. 

I never had the same issues with Moira’s engagement ring others did, but even I can recognize there’s some bad juju in it

Next, Mia gets her memories back (more on THAT later) and officially remembers her fiancé was a psychopathic killer who ran one of her friends through with the pointy end of a sword. It’s a little difficult to kiss JJ after that visual. 

Things don’t get much easier after Mia accuses JJ of being the mastermind behind Bianca Bertinelli’s kidnapping. (Yes, she’s Helena’s daughter). He’s not the kidnapper. All his secrecy revolves around the honeymoon JJ is planning. It does lead to a truly hilarious moment between the two characters. 

JJ: Jumping to conclusions is I’m cheating on you not that I’m a kidnapper. For the record, I’m neither.

It’s a heavy moment, but I died. It’s going to be a little hard to pick out cake now.

The scene itself is heartbreaking. Charlie and Kat acted their asses off in it too. JJ thinks Mia doesn’t want to marry him. She hesitated before accepting his proposal (Yes, he noticed that Mia. So did I). JJ believes Mia is commitment phobic. It’s not wildly unlike how Oliver’s story began. Thank God there’s no cheating with siblings though.

Mia is merely struggling with the idea that her fiancé was a cold blooded killer in another world. She just needs some time to… adjust. She’s also a little commitment phobic. After stopping the real bad guys, Mia reassures JJ, but she doesn’t tell him the truth about who she is.

Mia: I couldn't imagine spending my life with anyone else."

I see your not-so-subtle wink at SmoakNHawke writers. I AM SO HERE FOR THIS.

The truly awesome moment with JJ’s character is when he gets his memories back too. I was not expecting this and was genuinely surprised. Charlie Barnett is a PHENOMENAL actor. He played that scene perfectly. 

Giving JJ his memories back is a stroke of genius because now he's a more complicated villain (I hope). He gets to struggle with his love for Mia and his loony tune desire to take over the city. 

Katherine McNamara also does a fantastic job of blending the two versions of Mia after she gets her memories back. 

Source: supercanaries 

She’s reeling from the suffering and loss, but Mia is still our bad ass princess who takes no crap. 

Source: oh-my-hades

She is still every bit the hero Oliver and Felicity raised her to be.

Source: feilcityqueen 

She’s just a little more pragmatic. Her communication skills are much improved. One of the best moments of the episode is when she gets to show up L*urel with her “new” experience.

Source: supercanaries

Mia telling L*urel where to stick it was a long time coming. We had to wait twenty five minutes for it to happen, but it was GLORIOUS when it did. 

Source: arrowversedaily 

William is a perfect cupcake, excited to be Mia’s man of honor, but bummed his boyfriend cheated on him. We hate Kevin. 

Source: arrowdaily 

He encourages Mia to join Smoak Tech, but she’s not sold on joining Mama’s company. William running Felicity’s company fills me with a deep and abiding joy.

William Clayton-Harris-Smoak-Queen is perfection from start to finish. 

Source: oliverxfelicity 

The chemistry between Ben and Kat is so natural. William’s good natured teasing about their “family heirloom” exuded warmth and love. 

Source: feilcityqueen 

I adore how comfortable the two characters are now. Erasing William and Mia’s separation is the best thing to come out of Oliver’s Crisis retcon.

ZOE IS ALIVE because I said she would be and I like to get my way.

Source: oliverxfelicity 

Din*h owns a bar (Thea’s old club) and lives in the apartment upstairs (Thea and Olicity’s old loft).  

Source: canarynetwork 

She woke up in the future after Oliver’s funeral and discovered she doesn’t exist in 2040. I’m only mildly curious about this. The bigger shock is Din*h is tolerable. She’s compassionate towards Mia and often serves as the peace maker between her and L*urel. She feels like an older and wiser Din*h Dr*ke. More like Season 5 Din*h, but not so angry.  

Also, hello that voice? She can be like Lorne on Angel and randomly break out into show tunes.  Juliana did a beautiful job.

E2 Oliver cheated on L*urel with Sara too. There is no universe where L*urel & Oliver end up together. Nobody hates L*uriver more than these writers.

What I Hated

L*urel. I hated everything about L*urel. 

At first, I thought I was being too sensitive, but after a certain point it was clear she is just an asshole. L*urel being unbearable in Arrow pilots is a tradition apparently.

It starts with how Mia gets her memories back. There were some spoilers out on this, but I wasn’t entirely sure how it would play out onscreen and yeah… total dick move. 

Source: supercanaries 

L*urel destroys Mia’s life by forcing unbelievably painful memories on her without discussing it with her first. And for what? So, Mia can help L*urel find her kidnapped friend. 

Even the newspaper article L*urel drops about the Green Arrow failing the city doesn’t excuse the way she gave Mia her memories back. I understand she is trying to convince Mia to be a superhero, but I feel a more effective approach would have been to sit down, grab a cup of coffee, offer the pros and cons of getting her memories back and then let MIA DECIDE.  

Source: supercanaries 

L*urel didn’t need to grab her from behind at her graduation/engagement party.  It had the uncomfortable vibe of mind rape and no amount of “girl power” makes that okay.

Oh hey - if  J'onn J'onzz from Superg*rl is going around and zapping people’s minds without clearing it with them first - 

What was with L*urel insulting Mia every two seconds? UGH. Where is that damn bird baton?

There’s a fine line between snark and nasty. L*urel was just nasty.

L*urel decides Mia is a lazy, self absorbed, idiot because she’s not immediately jumping at the chance to be the Green Arrow. She literally blew this kid’s life apart, gives her no time to process, and immediately begins insulting her because she’s not following all of L*urel’s commands.

On what planet does L*urel have any authority over Mia's life? 

They have a warm and fuzzy heart to heart about choosing to be a hero to smooth over L*urel’s wildly unpleasant personality, but it’s ludicrous. L*urel didn’t even rate a goodbye from Oliver. I find her suddenly being an expert on what Oliver would want for his daughter pretty tough to swallow. 

This conversation should’ve been with William. PERIOD.

Source: oliverxfelicity 

It’s insane L*urel is judging anyone about anything because SHE IS A MURDERER. But sure, being a socialite is the real crime. Thank goodness L*urel is here to stop all the shopping.

The show was desperate glaze over Bl*ck Sir*n’s history with bizarre explanations.

L*urel: I wasted a lot of time pretending to be something I wasn’t because it was easier.”

So, Bl*ck Sir*n was pretending to be a murderer because it was easier? 

That’s not a thing. You don’t pretend to a murderer. You just are one.

Bl*ck Sir*n wasn’t like Oliver Queen. She killed good and innocent people. We’re just supposed to accept she was always a good person simply because she says so? Sorry sweetheart, the evidence does not exist. I would send your ass to prison for a good 25 to life, but the network didn’t ask for my opinion about your participation in the new show. THEY SHOULD HAVE.

Then there’s the way they casually avoid things Bl*ck Sir*n has done.

Din*h: I can let go of the people I lost and mistakes that I made.

Din*h lost her boyfriend because L*urel murdered him. They ate French fries and drank milkshakes in a ten second scene and now we’re supposed to believe they’re best friends. Umm… no. If you want to make this friendship believable don’t pretend their history doesn’t exist. Most of your viewing audience is coming from Arrow. We remember that L*urel killed Dinah’s boyfriend.

L*urel: D you’re up. You ready?

Din*h: Never not.

Ugh. Cringe. Arrow was effortlessly bad ass because Stephen Amell made Oliver Queen look effortlessly bad ass. 

The action was show, not tell, and that includes the dialogue. There is no making L*urel and Din*h cool, so just-

And POSE. It’s like mannequins in a Macy’s window. YIKES.

Source: canarynetwork

They force this “Ra Ra Girl Power” nonsense with clunky lines and empty camaraderie while at the same time; L*urel eviscerates Mia’s life choices by insulting her all hour. If you want to bolster “female relationships” on this network then start with the women treating each other with respect.

There was a criminal lack of William, Zoe and Connor. TERRIBLE DECISION.

Hopefully, this changes dramatically if the show goes to series. This is what I meant by “retooled.” It is clear two different concepts are being slapped together. The one we saw in 7x16 and whatever KC pitched to the network. The biggest flaw in this backdoor pilot is how disjointed it feels.

It’s like there are two shows. Mia has her life with William, Zoe, JJ and Connor and the other show is Din*h and L*urel. It’s similar to Oliver and L*urel/Tommy/Thea versus Diggle/Felicity in the beginning of Arrow, but it feels really unnecessary to make that mistake again. I do not feel Green Arrow and The Canaries is Marc Guggenheim and Beth Schwartz’s vision for what they wanted the spin-off to be and it is GLARINGLY obvious.

No mention of Felicity or Diggle. Yes, I understand why. We have to watch the Arrow series finale to find out what happens to our beloved characters. Mia and William never mentioning Felicity and JJ and Connor never mentioning Diggle & Lyla is WEIRD. Particularly since it was Mia’s graduation and her engagement party with JJ.

Stray Thoughts

 I vote for this to be Mia’s next tattoo. Source:  amunetblack

Well… that’s new information Din*h. Source:  shawgroves

Why is L*urel calling Din*h “D?” When did that start?

Rene is running for a third term. Do we need to be concerned about a utilitarianism regime happening?

I will never believe Din*h can do “Felicity stuff.” Where the hell is William?

“Oh frack you.” FINALLY.

The adversarial relationship between Mia and L*urel is a wise choice given how KC and Katherine McNamara interact online with each other. Or don’t as the case may be.  

What is happening with L*urel's boots? Are there bombs attached to them or something?

The lipsticks on L*urel and Din*h are not good. There's a lot of eye makeup happening too. Let's tone it down makeup department.

This is my face whenever I see L*urel too.  Source: supercanaries

You killed her fiancée L*urel. Pay your fucking tab.

Female Big Bad. Could be awesome. Just have to wait and see.

I'm really glad William and Mia are rich again. I missed billionaire money. It's fun.

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me. 8x09 gifs credited.

If you’d like to support the blog, please buy me a cup of tea!

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog - 2012 annual

iirc the annual takes place between 7 and 8, or something. whatever, im gonna go for it

shifts in art style always throw me off phewwww

i cant remember what theyre doing but i find it really funny that first aid is there squaring the fuck up to punch shit

ah yes of course how could i forget the time they shrunk down to fight tiny robots in ultra magnus’s head. a comic classic 

poor magnus lmao

HBJSDKFBSHJFDHJSD HIS TERRIFYING SMILE HAUNTS MY NIGHTMARES. LOVE IT

love the continuation of magnus’s law-vision

the fact that everyone is dunking on magnus for smiling ONCE hvbhjdksbfjks

rewind and chromedome ough

i feel like cyclonus spends 90% of his early mtmte screentime staring broodingly out of windows lmao 

tg so precious

lmaooo i love the flashes of rodimus saying ‘til all are one’ All The Time

rodimus just wants to be like his dad ok

rodimus telling drift to go meditate or something vbhjfdbhdsjkf

i love rodimus calling magnus out on referring to himself in the third person lmaoooo but also I'm like Oh I See That [eyes emoji]

wish i had emojis on the computer sigh

lmao so the circle of light is a bunch of pacifists With Big Ass Swords

them betting on how long it'll take rodimus to say ‘til all are one’ vbkjsdhbfjhkhsdf

damn so ambulon rlly did switch sides late in the game 

cyclonus is here!! being an emotionally closed-off fool as usual 

nooo rodimus let tailgate speak

cant believe rodimus graffiti’d tailgate

drift, immediately: rodimus is FUCKING POSSSESSED 

ratchet: ok, no, 

godddd everything abt the galactic counsel here is so funny. ‘its big - its grey - its taxpayer funded’ hvbkjshdbfjkdf and the fact that their ship is called ‘the benign intervention’ lmaooo

also DAMN that is a BIG ASS SHIP 

‘a fleshling in a stupid hat’ i love rodimus and his irrational hatred of hats

magnus comin in CLUTCH with the dry-ass clauses shit 

rewind vhjbdskfbaksdfn ‘the sub-section 7 defense - sneaky’ ily

tailgate hvbhjadkfbjskdf its ok that you don't know what's going on

also tailgate serves a vital role in the story as the audience insert character (or w/e its called), bc he’s often confused which allows for handy exposition that we the audience also need lmao 

i find it so interesting to see how the cybertronians are viewed by the rest of the galaxy - we don't see a lot of aliens but its always fascinating when we do, because of COURSE they’re mostly gonna think of the cybertronians as destructive and war-like when that’s what they’ve been up to for 4 million years 

ooof swerve :( swerve is one of those characters who you’re like ‘haha he’s funny’ most of the time but pretty often he’ll have startling moments of like, deep pain about life or w/e, and you’re like Oh Shit and then you kinda move on, until finally the swearth arc hits and it all comes together. what I'm saying is that this is some nice building towards that 

HGDSBJFKJSJBDF THERE IT IS THERE IT ISSSSSSSSSS

THE PANEL WHERE REWIND IN ALT MODE CAN FLY FOR SOME REASONNNNNN

i fucking love that shot so much. does everyone see this. rewind is a GIANT FUCKIN FLASHDRIVE and he’s hovering ominously thru the air. like, what happened to all the biz from issue 1 or w/e where his husband was roasting him for having a non-mobile altmode? if he can fucking HOVER than Actually rewind is the fucking coolest, no contest 

or like, is the implication that they all teleported there (having switched to alt mode along the way i guess?) and rewind is just like, suspended in midair? bc that's what the speed bubble text implies, but it also totally looks like they're just travelling across the area and rewind can levitate

anyways. that panel has always cracked me up lmaoooo

rodimus calling the council ‘fascists’ hvbhduifbjsdjfajskf sir i love you 

GODDD and there's the joke payoff from a few issues ago - rewind, facing front, hearing drift transform behind him and not only being able to tell its drift without looking, but also being able to tell that drift is upset, JUST like chromedome said he could....fucking PEAK i love that type of payoff humor

ooof and more swerve introspection. i mentioned earlier but i fucking LOVE how this series showcases the extremely wide range of reactions/coping mechanisms that everyone has towards the endless war finally being over - and swerve really nails it here: confusing peace with happiness, and assuming that everything would automatically be better after the war is over, when in reality you still have to work just as hard to build shit rather than break it

also i adore the horror of a guy who is half-embedded in the wall, his face stuck in a rictus of terror & death, waxing philosophical about how peace is about the freedom of choice, and how they should all just feel lucky to have survived...oof, that's very specifically ironic coming from you, dude 

but i do love the little characterization we get here for ore, a character who is literally already dead and has so far been used as a plot device pretty exclusively, but we still get to know little things about him here, and how HE feels about the war and the current peace, etcetc. it really makes the story and characters seem believable, like every character has a story even if we don't take the time to see it 

love cyclonus posing coolly 

kinda love how clear it is that drifts whole hippy schtick is just a front to cover his anger, and a tool to make him seem like an approachable, upstanding autobot

drift dramatically monologuing while pointing his sword at the sky is extra funny with everyone else just staring at him doing this

cyclonus why are you grabbing at the edge of the hole you're falling into, you can LITERALLY FLY, 

magnus finally getting some appreciation for being The most law abiding guy like, ever 

genuinely forgot abt the whole metrotitan plot that happens here 

GOD when rodimus is like BRAIN QUEST TIME and then we smash cut to them at the brain ‘six minutes later’ vhbhkudfjbjksf i live for that shit 

also that would be even funnier animated which further proves that we need an mtmte/ll animated series, please, somebody, 

HBDSJKFSHDJF REWIND IS SO FUCKING FUNNYYYYYY you cant even tell if he GENUINELY didn't think cyclonus could talk or if hes just being a dick but either way? comedy gold 

oh i adore the flashbacks being in a different artstyle, especially one that's so retro 

i love rewind being a history geek, and cyclonus passionately explaining cybertronian creation theory

HHHH i fucking LOVE the myth/lore stuff like....a lot of franchises tend not to dwell in this type of mythology, you tend to get The True Version Of Events, but this kind of explanation rocks bc it totally sounds like the kind of religious mythology that naturally develops based on a species’ progression

and drift and ratchet’s very opposing and polarizing views certainty do make for interesting perspectives, tho i feel like the story sometimes leans too much towards ratchet being ‘more correct’ bc, logic! or something idk i feel like i used to have a couple mild opinions on this but i don't remember

and its funny bc i am, irl, an atheistic medical professional who believes in science above all else - essentially just like ratchet. but i feel like the narrative portrayal skews a little more in his favor than i’d like, despite that 

skids just out here being a bummer, completely unprompted. cant even blame you tho dude 

hhhhhh chromedome talking abt rewind ;_; 

and when he says ‘maybe there’s someone out there who can save your life, too’ and cyclonus is there....hhhh

god i fucking LOVE drift and rodimus’s entire relationship. the layers...the LAYERS!!!

OH HEY ITS THOSE ROBOTS SKIDS FOUGHT 

ah, inconvenient laser time!

ok i fuckgin love how cybertronian’s brains look just like the planet cybertron. that's so fucking great 

of COURSE brainstorm brought his shrink ray 

truly i love the convo between ore and swerve, especially overlaid onto everyone fighting 

oof, the themes and plot threads of this annual are all so nicely tied up (which is something i love abt mtmte, especially early on when the story is smaller), with swerve now choosing to disobey an order from rodimus

oh yeah, the circle of light! that's who you've been looking for this whole time basically! 

and then the ending, hearing that magnus smiled (willingly!) :) i love it

rodimus’s profile says ‘finds it difficult to sit still’ bc rodimus is an adhd icon

lmao i feel like over half of my sentences in this recap - and in most of my recaps - contain ‘i love it’ or ‘i love how-’ or some variation upon that theme. I'm predictable 

anyways - the annual! i love this issue. its really long which is cool and i feel like it does a lot to flesh out the setting and lore, and even the characters as well. also, as i said above, it does an excellent job telling an exciting and well-contained story, with solid story beats throughout and plot threads that emerge and get resolved all within this issue, even while leaving plenty of stuff up for future resolution. that's the Early MTMTE Special, and i adore it. tho i will say I'm glad we’ll be getting back to the regularly scheduled art style, bc this one didn't really do it for me