#like at best i'll get half points on it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kuiinncedes · 1 year ago

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bro why am i doing data science

#sometimes stats classes are doable and feel ok #AND THEN THERE'S THIS ONE #and the one i took last sem and dropped #i'm like feeling the same abt this one like i wanna drop TT #but bro like #this is a requirement and i wanna graduate in 4 years any real reason not fucking really but #adjsngbldhfgakjdghsadjhl #i have LOST motivation to keep chatgpting the shit out of this hw due in like less than 1.5 hours #the coding part is ok with chat gpt #but there's so fucking much derivation and proof shit like bro #why do i have to keep doing this shit in stats classes #makes me want to scream #im gonna call my mom tonight and we'll see if i manage not to cry woohoo aka 100% chance im gonna start crying lmfao #i need to get back to this hw #like at best i'll get half points on it #bc i've just given up on like the first half #which is derivation shit i dont have time to finish it anyway #but chat gpt doesn't rly help for that bc i can put it in but i have no idea what the fuck it's doing #ughhhghhsjfgllsdriaduhroiwngjfdshgd why did i do stats #nfjdghjlbdjsbfljgabgjhglksajhflkhgiuqerhihfnglkajfdngddjfaksjgd #jeanne talks

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13eyond13 · 10 months ago

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love it when a character that's hard to read intuitively for you has like a dedicated fandom interpreter who can just glance at their blank face in a panel and then give you a 3k word essay on their innermost thoughts & desires & fears and neatly tie it back into the themes & whatnot as if it's the most obvious thing in the world

#im talking about griffith btw #guts i feel i get intuitively - maybe because i have some personality traits in common with him #and we get more about his life concretely told to us in canon. so he is a bit easier to pin down as a character and feel attached to for me #but whenever i was reading the manga i just kept wanting more insight about griffith's actions and feelings #like ok yeah its fun to have mysterious antagonists and suspense /tension etc but its also fun to feel like you deeply understand them too #and i felt like that was a bit missing from him for me in canon #so reading about him in analysis and fics is the most fun for me rn #he always felt kinda half unreal to me- which maybe was the point of him - but i wanted a bit more about his childhood or something?#and wished we had more stuff explicitly from his pov in the story to read or explanation about his transformation or wtv #and now he's so much more closed off to me even than he was in the golden age. i keep waiting for him to explain stuff and he does not #ANYWAYS all this rambling to say some people out there are very good at interpreting him and making his like. insecurities #more obvious to me bc i didnt really get that side of him from canon intuitively well #also im really enjoying reading the first few berserk fics ive read #there may not be a ton of them out there but there is def writing talent in the fandom #i'll share some recs once i'm done sifting through most of what's out there to read #also (not to tie everything back to death note but it IS my home fandom after all)#i feel griffith is obvs the more light-like character here and L maybe a bit guts-like? but unlike berserk in death note #light is the one you get to know best and L is the mysterious / unreal one you don't get a lot of concrete insight into #and in the DN fandom I can read the more mysterious character intuitively but had to warm up to the less mysterious one instead #and the mystery of L makes sense to me and doesnt bug me as much due to like - he HAS to hide a lot about himself or else he will die lol #so some similarities there but also some opposite feels as well #berserk spoilers #p

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orcelito · 4 months ago

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Gotta love that we have nearly all the named konoha kunoichi (minus Tsunade, Kurenai, and a few other even more minor kunoichi)

AND YET. the guys still outnumber them.

Still. 5/12 is still way more than we usually get (since it's normally teams of like 1/4 to 1/8 or so)

Wow the female characters ratio in naruto is absolutely atrocious.

#speculation nation #fanny watches naruto #still tho. im happy to see these 5 here. i'll savor the Almost half of the whole group ratio while it's here #of course 4 out of 5 of the girls are on the sealing team bc they have 'better chakra control'#aka 3 of them are medical ninja. and then theres hinata who's a gentle fist user.#naruto even comments on this. says girls must just have better chakra control. then points out that Tenten is Not on the sealing team #bc she is Not as good at it. that girl's a weapons nut. thank you.#i do love this anime so dearly but the misogny in the writing is so continuously vexing.#like better chakra control sounds like a good thing. except then you realize that's because they lack the brute force of the guys #even sakura and tsunade. known for their super strength. it's because of chakra control rather than pure muscle.#and this turns into many of the girls being healers (because it requires chakra control)#which means they end up shoved to the back and out of action Most of the time.#if they do get a moment up front it's very brief and they end up injured.#hinata who became a captive in that crystal. ino who ultimately did very little in the Avenging Asuma plan.#and ykno Tenten is here at least instead of being ignored like she is Most of the time #but her fighting ability is still far too basic. she's on a team with Neji and Lee for gods' sake! the taijutsu freaks!!!!#her entire thing is physical attacks. kenjutsu and shurikenjutsu. why not taijutsu too??!?#bc that would have a girl fighting with her fists rather than just throwing weapons. and we cant have too much of That.#sakura's most of the allotment to that. hinata should be doing that too but she just kinda sucks shit in battle.#shes trying her best but Wowza. kurenai is Not doing a good job at training her.#we have all these female characters but most of them r gonna be busy sealing #and i bet most of the fighting is gonna fall right back on the guys. frustrating.

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priafey · 24 days ago

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things the US needs to address:

the collective psychosis that leads people to make posts like these

#in case it's unclear what i mean:#1.) blaming gen z men or any of the listed grifters is useless idpol #2.) half of your country did not 'vote against [your] collective best interests' lmao #if you truly believe that you have a fundamental misunderstanding of the position your country occupies in the global economy #and the benefits conferred onto its citizens for supporting the imperial world order #3.) i feel like OP kept this point purposefully vague (ofc social media has on effect on the common good. what effect specifically?)#but i'll still respond by saying #social media has helped immensely in exposing how often traditional news outlets lie retract revise and outright fabricate information #the more aligned with bourgeois interests they are the worse it is #the past year of western media's reporting on the genocide in palestine has done nothing if not highlight the incongruence #between what people see n share on the ground and what narratives corporate interests deem fit to disseminate through traditional channels #the importance of following independent (which does not equal 'unbiased') journalists has never been greater #4.) 'lazy minds and lack of empathy' empathy is not some bulwark against fascism. it can actually serve to further it quite easily #idk what OP is trying to get at here. lazy point = lazy response #5.) i can't say anything here that isn't summed up better by that tweet that's like #'american *sees something american happening americanly in america*: what are we a bunch of ASIANS?!?!???'#cause there's just nooo way politicians and public figures in the US could spew reactionary nonsense and get a huge following #unless the evil russians had a hand in it #cause it's not like the US is racism central or anything #come on now #(for those unaware i'm citing this tweet bc orientalism of this kind has historically been directed at russians/slavs in addition to #people from MENA and asian countries broadly)#6.) see point number 3 above; trying to police AI is a fruitless endeavor; people need media literacy in order to #understand the interests of the parties involved in the coverage of any event and better discern the truth about what's happening;#identifying the bias inherent to any news channel and then examining how that bias impacts its reporting does far more to help dispel #misinformation than just labeling anything you don't like or you think influences people the 'wrong' way as misinformation #anyway i'm done. clown.#sansgwilie

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cuteniarose · 4 months ago

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The consequences of my poor financial decisions are here!!

#blame Kat for this lmao. she got the Yangchen novels first and I very easily give in to peer pressure (that wasn't exerted. but whatever)#three days earlier than scheduled too. which worked out perfectly bc I picked them up on the way home from grandma's #and carried them for 2 km. 2 hardcover books + the thick cardboard boxset they're in #+ the backpack full of food my grandma gave me #in the rain #I nearly fucking died #I'm not made for this level of physical exercise 😅#okay moving on #nia stop calling things like this poor financial decisions challenge #it cost like. the equivalent of 40 bucks #I have 30 times as much hidden away in my sock drawer #and I am usually responsible with my spending. I'm allowed a slightly more expensive treat every once in a while #also my dad doesn't know but I'm sure if I would him 'hey I spent 3.8k on a pair of books is that okay'#he'd be like 'why tf are you asking when have I ever said no to you spending money'#but again. I do try to be mindful #which is why as much as I want the lok art books and could probably ask for money for them. I won't #bc they cost an arm and a leg and I cannot morally allow myself to spend that kind of money #anyway. getting distracted again #do you know how hard it was to get these? I checked like 3 marketplaces before I did #and I was fully ready to get them in russian because non-classical english books are impossible to come by here #sanctions and all that. but somehow I did. and it only cost half the money in my bank account #I don't even know if Russian editions exist. these books were written before the war and before the gay propaganda ban but still #I didn't find them when I looked. maybe they don't sell them now that the law is in place or smth #I don't really care enough to look it up #the point is. I now own the books and can happily read about best girl kyoshi whenever I want #if the stress for an upcoming event doesn't kill me. that is #also I have read rok before but it was 3 years ago so my memory is vague. and I just realised how much thinner sok is?#I'll have to check the page count later

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longagoitwastuesday · 3 months ago

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I'm three interactions away from spreading my Ijichi/Gojo agenda

#The most trusted person of the strongest sorcerer in hundreds of years is the man who drives him places #because he's so weak when it comes to powers that even a first year kid considers irrelevant in a fight #With the implications that has in this world #Wish we had breakfasts in this manga #(scene of Shoko‚ Megumi‚ Yuta‚ Ijichi and perhaps Utahime and Yuji reacting to Gojo's death as his death and not just in a Sukuna context)#But in five chapters I doubt we'll get even the main arcs sufficiently closed #so I don't dare hope for the impact of the loses in a 'normal' sense #But I would give an arm for some breakfast interactions so to speak #The second ending plays with that idea a bit. A pity I don't consider endings and openings canon #So I don't count them. As much as I would like to think somewhere in the time line they painted Megumi's sleeping face jigglypufflike #and went to give a walk by the beach while Yuuji wistfully looked at them #I talk too much #I should probably delete this later #With so many tags I forgot what this post was about xD #This is half a joke. Conceptually they're not bad but I'm also not invested at all in anything in a shippy way #I just pointed the Ijichi/Gojo thing out a bit in the context of how I have never seen something with them #while I see a lot of the ships with the other characters #Also not that it's bad the lack of a shippy air. And probably it's for the best considering the lack of breakfast scenes so to speak #I'm loving the potential of the platonic dynamics and it's already messing me up that there's no real depth to them #Megumi and Gojo could have been everything to me. Everything. I can't say it enough haha #Edit: Actively looking for this now and I can't find Ijichi x Gojo stuff here on tumblr. I'll try twitter and ao3 later or something maybe

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threepige0ns · 4 months ago

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While I'm waiting for my friends to catch up with the finale I wanted to share my personal most terrifying silt verses experience

I was solo camping, 18 hours driving distance away from my nearest friend, having spent the last 16 straight hours on the road and listening to my latest podcast obsession, The Silt Verses. I arrive to my campsite at 2 am, no cell phone service. Totally expected and normal. To not wake the other very asleep campers, I pitch my tent far enough from everyone else to where the sound of me getting settled in won't bother anyone. Right by the river. After 16 hours of River Horror Podcast. I'd never been scared to sleep outdoors in my life before, but I think I tried to send texts to multiple people that if my phone was found somewhere and I'd gone missinf firever that the damn trawler man had gotten me. 10/10 would recommend

#tsv #i think that finale is all I'll be thinking about for a long time I've already listened to it two (and a half now) times #and we'll be starting from the top here soon if anyone wants to join me!#I can't stop thinking about it #you guys are safe from spoilers for now here but only because my best friends haven't heard it yet then watch out #also for real if you want to be scared go do that #i listened to ep4 while climbing a mountain and past a certain point the woods changed to mostly birch and oh man #that camping trip was out to get me it was so much fun!#that night by the river was so scary and it wasn't even the sleep deprivation #every splash I was in my tent like :| if i see two heads out there I'm done #and then I'd sweep my lantern around and discover something horrible and it was always the same warped log #it was a gorgeous river in the morning but damn

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loumauve · 3 months ago

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I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.

(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)

#been feeling anxious af ever since bc it's the first time I've been this firm in a reply and idk how they'll take it #there's underlying issues in inter-departmental communication that need fixing that cause these issues to happen again and again #but my boss is on parental leave and his substitute is sick not that she cares or is up for doing her job where communication is concerned #so there's no real sense in addressing that rn esp by me who's only been there since June. but it does frustrate me a lot #anyway. I'm sure I'll get over this too. but yeah.. ppl not thinking things through for the two mins it takes to create an account #or the twenty seconds it takes to check if one already exists before creating a new one #or the minute it takes to check if folks still have an active contract past their time working in your department before deleting an accoun #just jfc. put in a smidge of effort and five mins total and save the rest of us from spending half a day to fix your mistake #oh well. if I get a pissy response I'll just blame it on being new as an intern and being too motivated and idealistic I guess #god forbid I expect people to do their jobs thoroughly or with at least a singular thought..#anyway. I feel like I'm allowed to be grumpy abt this since we are the folks who end up having to fix this shit #and by we I mean pretty much mostly me at this point bc one colleague is sick atm. my boss barely has time for this and is on leave #and my other colleague only works half time so I'm the one who's been handling most of these over the past month or so #which.. is still insane considering how I'm a goddamn intern who shouldn't even have admin rights tbh #but without them I couldn't do anything at all lol so here I am. nice that they trust and believe in me I suppose #that's why I try to do my best. (who am I kidding that's always the case anyway)#but yeah. definitely a 50% staff support job and only 50% of the other important things that need doing rn it's more like 90/10 #and it's funny how I still dread my two hours of hotline. but every time the line is too busy I still jump in #we are also only 6 people atm out of 10 and three of us are still in training. and one of the trained folks had to come back in mid time of #next week we'll likely be 4 #depending on if our substitute boss lady is back.. not that I'd look forward to it. she's a mess and she's been horrible to deal with latel #sure. she's stressed. but she's either snapping at me when I ask abt shit I can't know yet or she's ignoring me. great basis for team work.#so honestly I'd rather she not return on Monday. esp not if she's gonna spread her germs everywhere #but now sleep. sorry for the rant. it's certainly been quite the month since I returned from my own wisdom tooth rated sick leave..#gotta be up again in 6.5 hrs so I can be at work at 6 to let the electrician in. I'm gonna sleep so hard over the weekend I stg #a day in the life of..

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vettely · 4 months ago

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i really thought he was the one bc he let me talk about goncharov on our first date and he listened!!!

#so sue me if i can't get over this break up #it's been such a short relationship but it was the best time of my life #but he never loved me lol #and now it's been two months since the break up #and two week since i blocked him after writing him a paragraph about how bad of a person he is #and i didn't mean half of it #but now we're no contact #and i'm never gonna see him or talk to him again #he was a bad boyfriend but he was cool and accepting and loving person and i miss having someone like that in my life #i don't think i'll ever have that in my life again #i felt so free with him #and now i'm so miserable #and i miss him #oh look it's me oversharing again #personal #oh #i also remembered how i held a power point presentation about multi 21 #and after i was done he officially asked me to be his gf #oh god #i miss him sm

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monty-glasses-roxy · 7 months ago

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Just had the idea of doing a Roxy askblog that's based on it being a secret blog she's not allowed to have and every so often if someone asks her something she just says stuff like "To the Fazspy reading this, I'm not the real Roxy." to try and throw the staff off her trail lmao

Will probably never make a blog like that, but it could be kinda funny. Maybe I bring the idea of an 'ask Roxy anything' game back where I draw the answers for it instead so it's not a whole ass blog dedicated to Roxy being a sneaky lil shit on the internet

#there's several reasons I probably won't do it but it's a fun spin on stuff #roxy exploring the closed off parts of the plex in first person lmao #taking pictures like 'look see? its right there!' and she's pointing at literally nothing because the camera doesn't see what her eyes see #could be funny!#but doing things is... I would say it's improving but not really #it's improving in a maybe it is maybe it isn't sort of way so who knows if I'll ever get to do it anyway #ANYWAY yeah I'll probs not do this. literally no one would interact with it #the people are bored of my plex history stuff anyway so like... yeah it's cool I know when something won't work #an askblog only works if it gets asks and uh yeah the amount of askblogs I've seen die off within a week here because of that is crazy #no thank you to that I think!#I'm not putting the effort into something like that just to have it die so fast #hi if you read this far go find an askblog and pester the shit out of them it's fun #I haven't seen any around for a while but I also can't view half of tumblr on my phone #so it's really fucking hard to see them even if I follow them :(#but yeah if there's any sb askblogs out there or anyone that wants to have a go at it tag me in a post.#I WILL show up to be silly in your inbox though I may not always remember the plot if there is one #again. I can't see half of tumblr on mobile and that includes blogs but I'll do my best man #askblogs are fun! they're goofy and chaotic!#highly recommend!! I haven't ran one in years but they were very fun!!#ANYWAY Roxy just making posts like 'Jerry. Sandy. I know what you two keep doing in the Gator Golf caravan. :)'#just name dropping random plex guests to be like 'I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE' for shits and giggles #'who are they?' 'oh just two morons that dont know I know Everything Ever. Don't worry about it.'#ya know?? fun! goofy shit! could be funny!#random pictures from inside the plex like 'lmao they think I cant see them' and its just a fucking wall like yeah I wonder why #maybe it's the fucking wall in the way who knows? it's a mystery sdfdsf #pop rox talks

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deadrlngers · 1 year ago

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everyone pick which romance i should do first i can't choose by myself this is too hard i need others to decide for me i swear i will follow your judgment

#rena.txt #context if you aren't familiar with my girl: half moon-elf warlock from waterdeep (don't get swayed here skfjsk)/disgraced noble who lived #most of her life under the wings of very abusive parents that didn't love her at all. her approach to love was killing the codependent best #friend she was obsessed with (his fault trust me) and nearly killed the girl she was later in love with (i sense a problem with killing..)#she thinks of herself as unlovable. mostly a weapon you can point and use. she doesn't know what a home should feel like and needs #someone to show her what love is (healthy this time). also she loves poetry and the sea and music and plays the lute and loves good jokes #even if she barely shows her laugh she can and will if you're a friend she trusts. also i fear she's barely in her right state of mind since #she can sometimes hear the dead bestie speak to her and she has his skull in a pouch so she can talk to or unleash her rage on it.#weird girl but who isn't :))) skfjskfks my best friend said i need to let her find happiness OR ELSE so here we are.#i had a tragic demise planned for her but he said i need to stop making my ocs suffer for once #also i'll surely romance both at some point but like. first choice usually fries my brain forever

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tired-o-fighter · 1 year ago

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So you may wonder

Hey tired

You made so many promises for propagandas

Why didn't you post a single one?

Wellp

I am not exactly in an alrighty ish mental state lmao (nothing bad or tragic or anything just used all my brain energy and I'm running low and can't actually function like a human being lol)

But more importantly

I made the decision to go get my nails done. And because i basically had no actual nails to work with i got poly gel nails annnnnd it's too long. I ACTUALLY CAN'T FUCKING DRAW.

Holding a pencil like i used to is actually not possible but I'm relearning so it'll be alright

But digital? Haha no way. I use my phone and finger for all the digital art you've seen. Guess what when you get long ass nails you can't use your fingertip to touch the screen.

Still haven't had my mental breakdown over this. But for now (the next 20 days) i gotta draw traditionally 90% of the time. Which is what I'm working on. As again, Holding a pencil the way I've been holding for the past like idk 14 years is actually not possible and a tad bit painful when i try to do it by force

I'm actually genuinely sorry for not posting the stuff i promised. Regardless of the results of the polls , I'll post all of them as soon as i can.

Right at this specific moment i have no creativity like none and I'm just trying to figure a way out to prepare for the last day of polls

If you still want something. Whether it's art ask or au questions or anything you'd like to tell me or ask me, my ask box is always open. I'll do my best to answer them. Especially the none art ones

Thanks for reading my rant.

I'll bounce back just gimme a lil bit of time and don't let me isolate myself please

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atlantablack · 1 year ago

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You know, i've been reading a lot of steve/tony fic the past month and i love them both a lot but i've been seething mad all day just thinking about how so much of this fandom treats him and purposely mistreats his character and Steve Rogers is this skinny kid from Brooklyn who signed up for a war over and over again despite knowing it would kill him because he didn't like knowing that other men were out there dying and when Erskine asked if he wanted to kill Nazis he said no and he spent years fighting in alleyways and causing trouble and getting beat up and probably would have ended up dead if Bucky hadn't been there to pull him out of shit because he doesn't like bullies and he refuses to back down and "Whatever happens tomorrow, you must promise me one thing. That you will stay who you are. Not a perfect soldier, but a good man." and grenade get back get back and azzano and i have to put her in the water and "Yeah, we compromised. Sometimes in ways that made us not sleep so well. But we did it so the people could be free. This isn't freedom, this is fear." and "the price of freedom is high. It always has been. And it's a price I'm willing to pay. And if I'm the only one, then so be it. But I'm willing to bet I'm not." and "we're not at war, captain" "they are" and he gets up and he gets up and he gets up over and over and over and he's seventy years out of time and everything keeps changing and every time he gets comfortable something destroys that comfort and he's always losing people, losing friends, losing soldiers, and there's never a clean break with Peggy because he misses their dance and then has to lose her in a separate more permanent way as well, and he loses bucky and finds him and loses him over and over and wants to trust people and keeps getting betrayed and he's trying to be a good man but it gets so complicated but he's still trying even when it would be so much easier to just not try at all and he hurts people because he's human and unfortunately being a superhuman with superhero friends means the capacity for hurt is wider and deeper than anything you or i could dream of but he keeps going and keeps fighting and loses the biggest fight of his life and lives with that every day for years when there are reminders of the biggest failure ever around every corner and then he just keeps going. He's twenty seven when he's unfrozen in 2014, younger than i am now, and the reasonable thing for him to do would have been to get out. leave the fighting and the aliens and the bullshit to someone else. But he's a good man and to him, sometimes, that means being a good soldier and sometimes good men hurt people but that doesn't mean they aren't still good men, it only means they're human and i think people could stand to sit the fuck down and think about what it would feel like to wake up in a year where every single person you knew is dead or close enough to it that they might as well be. there's no option to go make up with a family member he doesn't like, there's no old friends to become new again, everyone he knew is dead and he is still reeling from the fresh grief of losing bucky and somehow, instead of having a perfectly understandable breakdown, he picks himself up and keeps going.

and while i'm here, Tony Stark wouldn't thank anyone bashing on Steve in his defense. You destroy his character in your defense of him and he wouldn't even thank you for it.

#steve rogers #should i post this?#i meannnnnn #no probably not #but still mad about it #he just doesn't deserve even half of the hate he gets #and for what? because he wouldn't fucking sign the accords #he wouldn't fucking hand his best friend over to the fucking government #has is not been established by that point in the universe that we can't trust the fucking government???#the same government that was like yes we shall simply bomb NYC :D that's a totally reasonable solution to an alien invasion #like lowkey not sure i trust anyone who thinks people should go blindly signing government agreements like a good little citizen #anyways i'll die on a hill protecting steve rogers #which is hilarious because i think i'm most like tony and i get him i do but i get why he was behind the accords and why Nat was #and they had points but they went about it wrong #and if you think Steve “let me run off to azzano to save Bucky” Rogers was going to do ANYTHING #except exactly what he did #then you have literally no understanding of this man #mcu

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aberooski · 1 year ago

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If I have another breakdown at work tomorrow like I did the last time I worked a Saturday I'm going to kill myself because last time I screamed in the hallway and cried so hard I was shaking because of how stressed I was.

#working at the movie theater sucks I hate people so much #I also hate that the movie theater was the best I could do even with a fucking degree because I've never had a job before #and I haven't even been there a month and I'm already the most fucking competent usher we have #i have to do fucking everything and I'm the only one keeping us on track every fucking day #also the only other ushers I actually like aren't the ones I consistently work with and tomorrow I have to work with the one that I hate #they literally do not pay me enough for this shit #anyway I'm back to considering opening art commissions becauae as I said they don't pay me shit and I really do need the extra money #also another reason I'm pissed about working tomorrow is that I have to miss christmas cookie baking at ny grandma's and that's one of-#-my favorite traditions every year. I'm actually very upset about it I might cry about it at work tomorrow.#alao they're making me come in at 10 am when all the other ushers don't start coming in until like 12 and the first theaters don't let out-#-until like 11:40 so there's literally no point in me being there that early other than to just piss me off #I'll take the extra like fuxking 20 bucka those 2 hours will get me but fuckibg seriously? I know I'm technically available-#-which is probably why but all it's gonna be is me making sure our usher cart is stocked then sitting around for an hour and a half #fuck everything #I fucking hate that this is my life this is awful #I can't have literally anything can I?#abby after dark #abby's having a crisis

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paskariu · 1 year ago

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It's getting colder so it's time for *skin hurty season*. Yay

#my skin is incredibly sensitive to cold it sucks ass because the rest of me isn't #if it's below 15°C i have to wear gloves if i don't want the skin on my.hands to dry out and literally crack #has your skin ever been so dry you make a fist and it rips open and bleeds? yea #vent #it's mot that bad yet but it's already noticable #meanwhile other parts of my body i can't easily cover (like my lips) are just constantly fucked #lip balm barely helps at all :)#the best thing is that i need really strong hand cream.for it to help #and i usually get that at a pharmacy #but for people to believe me that np i'm not just a little worried I know for a fact that my skin WILL get really fucked if i don't use the #strong stuff because weak hand cream has no effect (or might just contain stuff i'm allergic to)#i need to let my hands get to the point of my skin breaking for people to believe me #if i run out of the hand creams i have #i cherish the half a tube of hand cream so strong you need a pescription so much because i'll never get it again #unless again my hands are so fucked i cannot use them without injurong myself

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belovedspector · 1 year ago

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#i feel like venting and not a lot of people follow me here so i figured this is the best place to do it #i'm just so tired all the damn time #depression has been kicking my ass #and i've been trying for so long to get a handle on it #and nothing seems to work #going to possibly be starting a new med in a few weeks but idk #i just want to feel normal but i feel like i'll never get to that point #and then there's the fact that i don't really have any friends #the only person i do stuff with is my mom which is kinda sad #but idk how to meet people #ugh i'm just so done with everything #like work has also sucked recently #i had to leave after like half an hour on wednesday and took the rest of the week off #and my boss has been super understanding which is great but again i just want to feel normal and be able to do my work #i feel like such a failure in every aspect of my life #i'm 25 and what have i accomplished?#i know everyone goes at their own pace but god i feel like i'll never catch up #okay i think i'm done now #i doubt anyone read this but if you did uhhhh thank you and i hope you're doing well xo #jace talks #delete later?

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