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sarcastic-space-gal · 5 years ago

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Dark Past (Part 1)

Summary: Black shirts are supposed to be the most trained and deadly members of the Starfleet. However, they are considered just stories or legends, because no one has ever saw one before. But after John Harrison attacks the London’s Archive, the Enterprise may acquire a new crew member.

Part 2

Pairing: ?

Word Count: 2k

Warning: Fighting (?)

A/N: Hi everyone! It was a long time since I wrote for Star Trek and I thought this was the time for another story. The pairing is voluntarily mysterious, if you want to guess who will be, send me a message or comment! Hope you will like it, feedback is always appreciated. Love you all xoxo

The only one or the last one? Everyone who ever looked at you wondered about that every time, whether it was out loud or in their mind, and even he didn’t want to admit it, Kirk did ask to himself the same thing. I mean, seeing a black shirt was rather rare in the Starfleet, many of the crew members around the ships always thought about them as legends or as made up stories used to intimidate the enemies. As the Captain thought, they were probably rumors, just some odd, silly stories told by students in the Academia. Turned out, it was totally untrue.

When Admiral Pike convened all the Captains in order to decide what to do about John Harrison, Kirk couldn’t help but find in Pike’s expression a slight hint of concern: John Harrison was probably more than just a terrorist, what was his real purpose?

Admiral Marcus entered the meeting room “Be seated”

“By now some of you know what happened in London. The target was a Starfleet data archive. Now it’s a damned hole in the ground, 42 men and women are dead”

Silence filled the room.

“One hour ago, I received a message from a Starfleet officer, who confessed to carrying out this attack, that he was being forced to do it by this man, Commander John Harrison. He’s one of our own. And he is the man responsible for this act of savagery.”

“A single man against all Starfleet?”

“That’s what it seems” Marcus responded simply.

“I think we must introduce the black shirt”

After Admiral Pike had spoken everyone in the room started murmuring to each others both in surprise and amusement.

Marcus looked down at the table, hesitant “Are you sure about this?” he asked at Pike.

“Sir, what are you talking about? I thought that black shirts were just a story” a rather young captain said suddenly.

Marcus sighed and looked even more serious “Those stories are true” he said.

Kirk shared a confused look with Spock, who was on the opposite side of the table.

“But we have no time for a campfire story now. Kirk” he glared at him, making the captain’s eyes dart to him “the black shirt will go with you and your crew on the Enterprise, you will track him down and kill him.”

The Enterprise was his again. But something in all the situation just didn’t sound right. An archive? Why bombing an archive? What was his real purpose?

Soon after, Marcus invited him to talk about the matter, seeing him and Pike murmuring frantically.

What happened next was completely unexpected. As soon as Jim explained his concerns about the matter, the room shined in a deep red light as John Harrison appeared in a jumpship and attacked Starfleet Headquarters. It was a bloodshed. Many members of the Senior Council died along with Admiral Pike.

Kirk almost couldn’t believe it when he saw Pike’s limp body on the couch.

After that night Kirk was wracked, emotionally and physically. He knew he had to regain his composure, for him, for his crew, and for Pike: he had to complete the mission.

Admiral Alexander Marcus reinstated Kirk and Spock to Enterprise with orders to kill Harrison using a new long range stealth photon torpedo.

“Jim, I know you are here c’mon!” Kirk heard a far-to-well known voice coming from outside his cabin.

“Bones I told you already, I’m fine!” he said opening the door and quickly heading to the shuttle. The doctor was right after him with medical equipment steady in his hand ready to check on Jim.

“The hell you are” he said but the Captain could see his concern behind the snarky response.

With a heavy sigh he gave his friend a small smile “I’m fine”

Bones didn’t insist this time.

“Everything is ready Spock?”

“Yes Captain, we are ready to reach the Enterprise”

Suddenly a sound of quick footsteps echoed in the hangar as everyone’s attention was brought to Scotty. “Jim a black shirt? Aboard? I heard the others talking about it but I wanted to hear it from you sir” Spock and Kirk shared a look.

“It’s true” Jim said with a small smile. He wasn’t sure what to say, because the pieces of information he had were quite limited, even if he was the captain.

“Well, that’s a surprise” responded Bones folding his arms. The doctor was really curious and even if he would never admit it, he was rather excited. He wasn’t the only one: by the time they were talking, a small group of crew members formed around the Captain, probably out of curiosity. Word travels fast.

“We will all talk about the mission and the new uhm, member of the crew on the Enterprise, for now let’s just get there and gather everything we need”

With a shared sigh of delusion all the crew members who gathered around the captain quickly went to take their seats on the shuttle.

The Enterprise was ready to fly, all the check ups were done. Bones was gathering medical supplies in his studio when the sound of Jim’s voice echoed through the ship’s speakers. A meeting. And everyone knew what was the matter.

“C’mon let’s go and see this mythical creature” he said.

The CMO reached the bridge after few minutes and walked up to Jim and Spock who were talking to Sulu. Jim looked a lot better than few hours ago, as Spock kept his usual quite demeanor, with his hands behind his straight back, but Sulu was hiding a small smile, probably out of excitement.

“So? Where is the legendary black shirt?” the doctor said sarcastically.

“Trust me Bones, I was surprised too”

Sulu nodded “I think we all are, sir”

Suddenly the elevator’s doors opened to reveal a figure who steadily entered the bridge. The room went silent, all the chattering muted almost instantly as if their breaths were caught in their throats.

Adjusting the fabric of your uniform, you entered in the elevator and pushed the button. Your hands went behind your back as you used to do when meeting the Captain or the person in charge. Your eyes closed as you moved your shoulder softly inward and outward a few times, trying to relieve some of the nervousness. The elevator took just few seconds to reach the bridge but they were enough for your mind to drift away. So much time had passed since you joined a normal ship, with normal crew members, but it was quite refreshing you had to admit it. You opened your eyes again and saw your reflection on the glass doors of the elevator. The black fabric of your suit still fitted perfectly, even if you probably didn’t want it to be. This mission was very important and you had to handle it in the best way you could, as a black shirt should do.

With a soft sound the elevator reached its destination and you entered the bridge, feeling all the crew’s eyes on you. Even if you were aware of the fact that black shirts were considered nothing more than stories and jokes, that was probably why everyone’s mouth went shout the moment you entered.

Walking steadily with you arms still behind your back and a severe but calm expression, you approached the captain, who was now watching you attentively as you could attack someone at any moment. The men close to them looked the same way, only the Vulcanian First Officer remained calm, even if you noticed the slight movement of his weird-shaped eyebrow going up in slight surprise.

“Captain Kirk” you said, standing right in front of him “I’m the black shirt assigned to your mission, I’m really glad to be part of the Enterprise’s crew. My name is Y/n”

He looked at you hesitantly “We are happy to have you here, welcome to the crew Y/n” he then said with a small smile.

“Let me introduce you our First Officer, Spock”

“Welcome aboard Lieutenant” he respectfully said with a smile.

“Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu, the Chief Medical Officer, Doctor McCoy with his ‘legendary hands’”

The doctor turned his face towards Kirk and muttered “Unbelievable”

“and Lieutenant Uhura”

You listened carefully and shook their hands, but all the time you felt two pair of eyes on you, which you didn’t mind it at all. But now you had a mission, you had to keep yourself focused.

“So you exist” a male voice with a thick Russian accent caught your ears. The yellow shirt was a very young man who was looking at you in awe.

“Well,” you started, but Kirk quickly replied.

“I must say, as Mr Chekov has already introduced, that is very surprising, for all of us, to see a black shirt around”

“I understand that, we’re not so popular around”

Everyone had to admit it, your presence was quite intimidating, maybe for the deep color of your suit, but instead your voice was so calm and gentle, and at the same time steady and strong. They all probably expected a massive muscular mountain-looking man with a neutral face probably drooling in rage. Instead here you were, with the calmest voice in the universe and a killer look that rose in your face every time your smile faded. If possible, everyone was even more intrigued and they were all waiting to see you in action.

“Definitely not enough” Mr Chekov said with a small smile on his face.

“Mr Chekov, I think you should get back to the warp core”

“U- yes sir” he said before sprinting out.

You couldn’t hold back a small laugh.

“Well, Y/n, let me explain the mission”

Apparently John Harrison was now on Kronos. Perfect. Klingons. you thought. It didn’t matter what creature you would face, your had to complete this mission. You began gathering all thing you needed, eyes darting around your supplies with determination. When you were finally ready you headed towards the bridge.

Walking around the corridors was amusing: everyone looked at you like they saw a dragon let loose, but you were far too used to it. A long time ago this was normality...

Ten minutes had passed since the ship entered the planet’s atmosphere and even if the area was supposed to be uninhabited, a Klingon ship suddenly appeared in the sky. The captain had tried few quick maneuvers to avoid them but ultimately you found yourselves surrounded and forced to land.

Lieutenant Uhura offered herself to go out and try to talk to them, leaving you, Kirk, Spock and two others crew members aboard ready to take action.

“We should help her”

Spock looked at the captain “I would not recommend that”

Kirk sighed and then turned his head towards you “When was the last time you went on a mission Lieutenant?”

“Surprisingly not so much time ago Captain” you said as your eyes kept staring forward.

Some Klingon soldiers approached Uhura as she started talking to them in their language. Kirk’s hand tightened around the blaster.

Few seconds went by when suddenly the soldier talking to the lieutenant grabbed her neck ferociously, lifting her up.

“NOW” you shouted while exiting the ship as you started shooting at the Klingons. Uhura took advantage of the moment and stabbed the Klingon, who released the grip on her neck with a horrible scream.

Kirk and Spock, along with the others red shirts, followed you out the ship and started shooting too. The captain’s eyes searched for you in the battlefield but you were nowhere to be seen. Furrowing his eyebrows, he had no time to think about that and kept fighting.

All of a sudden, from an unknown position, someone started shooting at the Klingons.

“Where is Y/n? And who is it?” Kirk shouted while leaning on his back as Spock and Uhura approached him. That’s when he saw you, when they all saw you. With extreme agility you were fighting against the soldiers, swinging your legs and shooting, you never missed a shot. You were so skilled that all your movement almost seemed staged, as your eyes darted in every direction, fully focused. When all the Klingons around you were finally down, you looked up and saw a figure, your features darkened in rage. Kirk and the others looked up too and saw the mysterious figure pull off his mask to reveal John Harrison himself.

“John Harrison! You are-” Kirk started, but he couldn’t finish what he was saying because it all happened so fast.

Harrison jumped down from his high position without even flinching and started aiming his weapons, but, much to Kirk’s surprise, he was aiming them at you.

“You” he said in a deep and steady voice. He then dropped the blasters as you did.

Only few meters separated you both, as everything around you went silent for an instant: you stood steadily in front of him with an intense and undefined look on your face.

Kirk, Spock and Uhura shared a quick glance as they all thought the same thing. He knows her? What is happening?

“Khan”

As soon as you responded, you ran to him and started fighting with all your strength, punching, kicking as he did the same. Khan grabbed you neck but with a rapid movement you moved his hand away, pushing his elbow down and then swinging back your leg making him fall to the ground. You had no time to punch him because he had already stood up and punched you in the face. As nothing even had touched you responded striking a hard blow to his chest.

“So you work with them now?”

“Always had, always will” you responded seriously. He then took a gun from his belt and fired at you, hitting you on your shoulder.

“NO!” your crew members shouted, but they were all soon surprised.

You turned again towards Khan, your suit now had a big hole where the shot pierced but you weren’t bleeding, your skin was red but instead the wound was rapidly healing, leaving no trace of the hit.

Kirk watched in utter confusion as Spock and Uhura kept their weapons aimed to Harrison or… Khan.

He saw your skin healing and scoffed a little.

“Like I thought” his low voice pierced you ears. Analyzing the situation he asked one last question “How many torpedoes do you have on the ship?”

“72” Spock said.

You looked at him, your face contorted in rage.

He then looked back at Kirk “I surrender”

#star trek #star trek imagine #kirk x reader #spock x reader #leonard mccoy x reader #bones x reader #jim kirk x reader #star trek into darkness #into darkness #star trek beyond #kirk imagine #spock imagine #bones imagine #khan noonien singh #chris pine #zachary quinto #karl urban

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boldlygo-boldlygoing-boldlygone · 4 years ago

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And We Do It All Again - Chapter 7

Summary: Jim has two big problems right now. The first is that he is hopelessly in love with his First Officer and his Chief Medical Officer, and neither seems to return his feelings. The second is that he’s stuck in a time loop where his ship is destroyed and his crew killed, over and over again.

Things can never be simple for James T. Kirk, can they?

Warnings: angst, (temporary) character death, swearing, time loops, suicide attempt in a later chapter (again, it’s in a time loop so it doesn’t really work)

Pairing: McSpirk

Chapter 7 of 7

First Previous Next

A/N: Can also be read here on AO3!

Jim woke and sighed, his eyes catching the chess board, the whiskey glasses. A familiar sight by now. He thought about the confessions.

Without another thought, he rolled in his bed and grabbed his communicator. Bones and Spock arrived together, just as Jim finished pulling on his uniform.

"Jim, is all well?"

"Seriously, you better be dying. I was still asleep!"

"I need to tell you both something." Jim informed them, watching them enter the room from his seat on the bed.

"It couldn't wait until breakfast?"

"It's waited long enough." Jim looked at them both, love and a desperate need for them to know rising in him. "This may sound insane, but I promise, I am mentally and physically fine. Bones, you can even check after this, if you want." He began calmly. Both looked concerned, but he continued before they could interrupt. "I am in love with both of you. Have been for a while."

There was a long silence, a moment where they both just stared at her. Then, Spock spoke.

"Captain, I must ask, what has caused this outburst?"

Jim shrugged. "It needed to be said. I'm tired of hiding it." He was so damn tired. It had been so long and he was just so tired. It felt good to admit this. After the last few cycles, it almost felt natural.

"Jim, stop messing around."

"I'm not." He shrugged. "I'm in love with both of you. Whatever happens next is up to you guys. I don't expect anything, but I needed you to know."

"T'hy'la." The word was whispered reverently, Spock's voice shaking. Jim felt a smile tugging at his face despite his exhaustion.

Bones glanced between the two then straightened, shaking his head. "Idiots." He mumbled, turning for the door. Jim rose to stop him, but Spock beat him to it. Spock caught the doctor's wrist and pulled him back. "Leonard. Please, do not leave. I- I must confess, I have also been harboring feelings for both of you as well."

Bones didn't look convinced. "Look, you two are great for each other. You don't need me mucking it up. Just- let me go with my dignity."

"Shut up, Bones." Jim couldn't think of a time when his heart had felt so full.

"I must agree, Leonard."

"This is insane. Actually insane. You just wanna jump into a polygamous relationship? What's the crew gonna say?"

"It's the 23rd century, Bones. I think it'll be okay. And we don't need to rush into anything. Like I said, I don't expect anything. I just... I needed you to know."

"Perhaps we should continue this conversation after our respective shifts. It is nearly time for us to be on the bridge, Jim."

Jim nodded. "We can meet here at 2300, okay? We'll figure out what this all means." The promise of later felt so abstract, so unreal, but it was what they'd expect him to offer. So he offered it.

"Affirmative."

"I guess."

Jim stepped forward, love washing over him as he took the two in. Then, he grabbed Bones and pulled him into a tight hug. "I love you, Bones."

Bones returned the hug. "Love you too, kid." His voice was gruff, but Jim knew better.

In the turbolift with Spock, Jim put a hand on his First Officer's bicep. "I know touch is sacred to Vulcans, so I don't expect anything. I just want you to know I love you."

Spock looked at him, face as calm as Jim had ever seen it. "I love you as well, Jim."

It should have made him happy. Here was Spock, saying he loved him. After everything, it should have been a relief. Somehow it only managed to break his heart.

"Captain on the bridge!"

He sat through his shift, sneaking glanced at Spock (who was doing the same to him) and hating everything. It had been shockingly easy. They weren't his yet, but they were willing to talk. They were both interested.

Well, Spock was. Bones hadn't said it explicitly, but Jim could remember how he'd kissed him, how he'd gripped him. He knew Bones loved him. He suspected he'd always known, deep down. Until now, he'd just been too afraid to allow himself to hope. Of course, now knowing that didn't do him much good. Not when he'd wake tomorrow starting all over again.

"Sir, there's an unidentified ship approaching."

There it was. The worst ship in the galaxy. If only he could stop it. Steer the ship to some safe location. Maybe get aboard it and-

Get aboard it.

An idea hit him hard and he jumped up, body in motion even before his mind had fully considered this new plan. "Mr. Sulu, shields up! Mr. Spock, take the con!"

"Captain-"

"Do it, that's an order!" He called, already sprinting from the room.

He commed Scotty to meet him in the transporter room. They both arrived just as the first hit shook the ship. Jim jumped onto the platform, the seconds ticking away in his head. "Beam me onto that ship!"

"Sir, I don't know if-"

"That's an order!"

Scotty's eyes widened and he began punching buttons, clearly shocked. Jim wasn't one to bark orders like that.

He wasn't sure where he was when he landed, but he had a half-formed plan and that was further than he usually got. Jim took off, squinting at the signs and arrows directing him. As he ran, he shot any and all he came across.

"Enterprise to Captain Kirk!" There was a tightness to Spock's voice. A small shift, something most wouldn't notice. But Jim knew his first officer well. Spock was not pleased with him.

"Kirk here." Jim responded, slightly out of breath as he approached the engineering room.

"Captain, you must beam back aboard the Enterprise immediately. We do not know who is controlling this ship, but they are clearly hostile."

"Can't, Spock. Nothing else is gonna work, they're too strong. I'm taking it down from the inside."

"Captain-"

"Sorry, Spock." Jim snapped the communicator shut and shoved it back into his pocket, just in time. He sprinted into the engineering room, scanning for the most volatile pieces of machinery. It didn't take long to find them. Jim wasn't entirely sure what he was doing. He knew how the Enterprise ran. He knew what to do to keep her happy (though not as happy as Scotty kept her), but this wasn't the Enterprise. It was all cruder, more basic machinery.

Good thing he wasn't trying to keep this ship happy.

"Hey!"

Jim spun, phaser up and firing, but too late. He gasped, grabbing his side as pain seared through him. Huh. Being shot. That was certainly different. Boarding the enemy ship really had opened a world of possibilities.

Still, his aim was true and the last guard was down. He turned back to the equipment and set to work destroying anything he could get his hands on. The timer inside his head was running out. Jim counted himself lucky, then, when something exploded a few feet away from him. The force knocked him down and sent pain up his side, but he ignored it and scrambled to his feet, sprinting for the door.

"Kirk to Enterprise! Requesting immediate beam up, if you have the capability! I repeat, requesting immediate-"

It was too late. Just as he cleared the door, fire engulfed him, catching him and spitting him out. It was somehow just like being on the Enterprise as it exploded and yet so different. Briefly, he was relieved he didn't have to see Bones or Spock die again. As he was thrown out into space, he shut his eyes and let the darkness come, that thought a comfort as he slipped away. Maybe next time he'd figure out how to save them all. Maybe next time, he'd do better.

. . .

He woke slowly and repressed a sigh, keeping his eyes shut this time. Briefly, he wondered if this was a day when he stayed in bed. It was like his pain from the last day had followed him. Everything ached and he was so, so tired. Still, he should probably keep working. Getting aboard the other ship was new. Exploring that might bring new choices. He had to escape this damn loop somehow. There had to be a way. There had to be.

It was just so hard to keep going.

"Jim?"

And now he was hearing things. Great. This damn loop had finally driven him crazy. He thought repeating the same day would keep that from happening, but evidently not. Because now he was hearing Spock's voice, and-

"Jimmy, open your eyes."

And Bones. Great, just great. Like this wasn't hard enough as it was.

"We can see your vitals. We know you're awake."

Might as well get it over with. Sighing softly, Jim let his eyes fall open.

He wasn't in his room.

Immediately, he bolted up, eyes widening and head twisting, searching the area. He was in the sickbay, in a private room. Spock and Bones stood beside him. "Woah, calm down!" Bones grabbed him and forced him back. "You need to lay down!"

"I'm not in my room."

"No, you're not." Bones scowled. "What the hell were you thinking, beaming onto that ship? You're lucky Scotty had the brains to get Chekov to catch you or you'd be dead right now!"

"Chekov caught me?"

"Yeah, after that damn ship blew up and spit you out."

"Wait, the ship- Is the Enterprise okay?"

"Oh for God's sake!"

"Yes, Jim." Spock responded. "There was substantial damage, but because of your early order to put up shields and distraction aboard the other ship, we were able to avoid destruction."

"How many dead?"

"None. Thirty-six injuries, but no deaths."

No deaths. Not a single one.

"We very nearly had one." Bones scowled at Jim, jabbing a hypo into his neck. "You damn fool!"

"Ow, Bones!" Jim complained.

"Don't wanna get hypoed, don't almost get yourself killed!"

"I had to."

"No you didn't!" Bones' eyes were burning. "You pull this damn stunt right after telling us you're in love with us and you expect me to believe you had to? Bullshit!"

"Bones-"

"I was preparing my speech to convince you two to enjoy yourselves without me and then I find out you beamed onto an unknown, hostile ship? Seriously, Jim?"

"I'm sorry."

"You damn well should be! You're an idiot!"

"I am."

Bones stared at him for a long moment, then grabbed him and pulled him into a bruising kiss. "If you'd died before I had a chance to kiss you, I'd have brought you back just to kill you again myself."

"Noted." Jim let out a breathy laugh, chest bubbly with too many emotions to process. He could feel Spock's eyes on him, so he turned and raised two fingers, remembering the Vulcan way of kissing. The corner of Spock's lips turned up and he returned the gesture. Before Jim could speak, however, Spock's other hand curled around the back of Jim's neck. He pulled Jim into a human kiss. It was gentler than Bones', but still filled with emotion.

"As illogical as it is, I must agree with Leonard." He said once they'd pulled apart. "You must learn not to endanger yourself."

Jim let his eyes flutter shut and he laughed again, breathy and tired and so relieved. "I think I can do that. For you two."

Bones snorted. "Yeah right."

"Hey!"

"Lay back down. You still need to rest."

"I'm fine!"

"You were shot, you arm was nearly burned off, and you almost suffocated. Shut up and rest."

"Bones!" Jim moaned, obeying none the less. He let the doctor work, smiling fondly as he grumbled and Spock stood over his bed, watching with those sharp eyes of his. He thought about explaining his actions. Telling them about the loop, about being stuck going through the same day over and over. Giving them the highlights of his experience. But then Spock's fingers pressed rest lightly against his wrist and Bones' hands lingered a moment longer than necessary on his shoulder and he knew he couldn't ruin this. So he lay still and let their presences wash over him.

It was over. The nightmare was finally over. And in this moment, he didn't want to relive any of it. He'd tell them eventually. He'd explain why he'd done what he had, tell them about the highs and lows of his experience, about how much he'd seen and done and felt, but for now he just wanted to remain in the present and let himself feel loved.

And how so very loved he felt.

#star trek #tos #aos #spock #leonard mccoy #jim kirk #mcspirk #st fanfiction #fanfiction #my stories #mine #and we do it all again

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qvid-pro-qvo · 5 years ago

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fuck, marry, kill

aos!leonard mccoy x female!reader, who’s a nurse on the starship enterprise.

word count: 5885

rating: explicit (workplace sex, at the end, for fun.)

part one of more than a game, you and me.

A silly game from your academy days gets interrupted, leaving you to think over how you really feel about the great Dr. McCoy.

“Goddammit, bastard, son of a fucking bitch,” you hissed, shaking your hand after yanking it back from the control panel next to your shower. It had the gall to shock you, one that rippled down your arm and almost made your other hand drop the towel you clung to for decency. Somehow the same steady hands that could wield a pair of hypodermics and a tricorder without thinking about it managed to break every other piece of equipment on the Enterprise.

A year since you got transferred, a year since the last major headache, and you had managed to build up a routine. Waking up to beta shifts until the six-month mark when you transferred to alpha shifts that gave you more to do without the headaches of fighting artificial daylight. Crew physicals and routine exams for viruses carried onboard from earth until all the crew had been cleared. Lunches six hours in, dinner six hours after that, followed by a jog, some yoga, a shower, and then… repeat.

It was a good routine. One that made you friends with other nurses in blue and engineers in red and a few on the captain track who came in more often because of their proximity to the action. You could now say “hello” to Sulu and “good morning” to Chekov and other niceties to a couple other officers. And they’d smile back, and all in all nothing was disrupted. Your routine kept you going.

But now, that routine was stopped in its tracks.

With a little huff, you shook your head. Fortunately for you, your connections through routine hypos and the occasional healing after a scuffle gave you one particularly good friend. One who was very good at fixing up the Enterprise in any state she was in. And because of your clumsiness and tendency to get shocked, that friend was simply a comm unit away. Decency first, of course.

“Y/N to Scotty.”

“Aye, lass, Scotty here.”

A sigh of relief that he wasn’t on break, or worse, sleeping. That’d been a bear you wouldn’t want to disturb more than once. Your fingers tapped away, allowing his voice to fill the room rather than sound tinny coming from the communicator and your hands to hunt for a shirt.

“Yeah, we’ve got a situation. My shower isn’t working?”

“Is that right,” the chief engineer replied, and you could tell by his voice that under the amusement there was distraction. Your problem was not the only one on his plate, then. Or at the very least, not his main focus.

“Yeah, that’s right. Shocked me, as a matter of fact, when I tried to get it going.”

“Mmm.” Make that a lot of distraction.

“Scotty?”

“Yeah, lass?”

“Can you come fix it?”

“Fix what?”

With a soft sigh you pulled your shirt over your head, shaking out your hair before pulling it up into something passable for company.

“My shower, Scott. Y’know, again, the one that shocked me. That’s not turning on. That shower.”

“Shocked you? Well, this is the first I’m hearing about it,” he scoffed, indignant, and your eyes went wide with disbelief before you heard his chuckle.

“Oh, so I’m the entertainment for this evening, then,” you muttered with a scowl, scrounging around for the pants you just had on and the regulation zip-up you could walk around the halls in.

“Of course, Y/L/N,” he retorted. “I was wondering when the next time you’d call was. After all, it’s been, what, almost a week since our last incident with the replicator, hasn’t it been?”

“Two weeks, thank you,” you snapped, the pants snatched off the floor and shaken out with a vengeance. One foot began making its way inside the leg of the pants, the other hopping on the floor. “Monty, please, I just got off shift, I’m tired, and I’m sweaty, and there were three cases of Takarian bronchiolitis that we had to treat with airborne precautions. Never mind next week’s also Christine’s birthday, who I love with all of my heart but the party I got roped into planning for, of fucking – agh!”

“Y/N!”

Bouncing on one leg could only last for so long, of course. Your head thankfully did not contact anything with a hard surface. Your ass, however, got the brunt of the blow, specifically your tailbone.

“Y/N?”

When you groaned, you heard the relief, as well as the stifled laughter.

“Can you just please come fix my shower? I think there’s an analgesic hypo with my name on it back in the med bay.”

Of course, you weren’t one to completely bypass the rules. The Enterprise had enough of that in places other than the medical unit, and your chief medical officer, Dr. McCoy, was a stickler for right and wrong and lines that shouldn’t be crossed. So, your hypodermic needle was checked out by Christine, administered by her, and all logged and dated with a note about the situation. And, because your appointment didn’t technically end for another fifteen minutes, there was enough time for a little bit of gossip.

Your type of news always was the kind of shit that got the whole crew talking. The next adventure, who was sleeping with who, the drama that came out of confessions when the ship was falling apart. Anything to work through the monotony. But Christine’s favorite topic was almost always you, much to your chagrin.

“You know I don’t have a love life,” you said with a roll of your eyes, sitting up on the biobed and letting your feet dangle off of the edge. “That hasn’t changed in the three days since you asked me last.”

“I do know you’re at the very least no fun about it,” she responded with an eye roll, fingers tracing over your vitals the bed collected and reported. “There’s hundreds of people on this ship, and you’re telling me that none of them catch your eye? What about the chief engineer?”

Immediately your eyes widened, and you couldn’t help the laugh that left you. “Scotty? No. No, no, we’re just friends, aggressively friends. He keeps me around because I’m the only one who gives him stuff to do during the night shifts. Without me breaking lightbulbs it’d be too dull.”

Of course, her eyebrow crept up in suspicion, but when your gaze held steady, she dropped her eyes, waving a hand like the idea was preposterous anyway.

“All right. So, no Scotty. Any ensigns?”

“No.”

“Lieutenants?”

“No.”

“Cadets?”

“Oh, my god, Christine,” you gasped out with a laugh, jumping off of the biobed, smacking her on the arm. “Stop it.” Your eyes glanced around the med bay, but just like every beta shift began, it was pretty damn quiet. Not a soul in sight besides the two of you. “There’s no one.”

“Well, you’re no fun,” she sighed, pushing off of the wall to meet you nose to nose. “But there’s gotta be someone who at least catches your eye, right?”

“Chris…”

“Someone on this ship you’d be willing to fuck – “

“No, we’re not – “

“- marry, maybe – “

“Christine, I swear to god – “

“- or kill?”

Again, your eyes darted around, but at that point the game had been called. A throwback to your time in the academy, when your classmates would find the local bars and a booth to heckle each other in. When passersby would be unknowingly subjected to a game based on nothing but good fun, and usually a whole lot of booze.

Simple premise. Three names called out. Each gets a label, and the rounds continue until the players decide they’ve had enough. Called anywhere, at any time, and Christine had thrown the gauntlet.

“You’re on duty,” you pointed out, but you leaned back on the biobed, crossing your arms over your chest.

“And if there’s a patient I’ll tend to them. But you’ve got nowhere to be, and if I have a say we’re finding someone on this ship for you,” she pointed out, before swiping your scans away from the vicinity and joining you on the bed. “Three rounds. I bet you I can do it in three rounds.”

With an eye roll you proceeded to glare at her, but her grin did not budge once, and with a sigh you just nodded.

“Perfect. Why don’t we start with a throwback? Old classmates? Harrison, Twyla, and Betty.”

Your smile crept up on your face, and without a second thought you rattled it off. “Fuck Twyla, marry Harrison, kill Betty. Obviously.” Considering that two of the three weren’t even on the ship, you knew that it was more a warmup than anything. Lots of pretty people at the Starfleet Academy.

“All right. And then… oh, what about the bridge crew?”

“Christine,” you groaned, hand smacking over your face. “We’re in public.”

“There’s no one here, and you can’t chicken out of the second round! Look, we’ll do�� Lieutenant Sulu, Lieutenant Uhura, and Ensign Chekov.”

Your jaw clenched. Forget about saying hi to Sulu ever again.

“I would… I would…”

“C’mon. You can say it, Y/N.”

“Fine, fine!” But you couldn’t help your laughter as you shoved Christine’s arm again. “I would… I would fuck Uhura, marry Sulu, and – “

“And kill Chekov? He’s got a baby face! You’re gonna kill him where he stands!”

“Christine, this is not real life,” you reminded her with a hiss, shaking your head before beginning to walk towards the door. “I’m leaving before I end up having to resign.”

��Oh, no! We’ve got one more go.”

“I’m walking. My tailbone doesn’t even hurt anymore. The miracle of modern medicine.”

“Y/N!”

“What?”

“Captain Kirk.”

“No, Christine.”

“Commander Spock.”

“Stop!”

“And Dr. Mccoy!”

“What about me?”

Your heart stopped.

“Nurse Y/L/N, is that right?” Dr. McCoy, the man himself, stated, raising a brow as he moved into the med bay, boxes stacked up in his hand. Christine did the smart thing, moving forward to help the doctor carry them inside, but your feet were cemented to the floor, mouth a little agape, color flooding your cheeks.

“Y-Yes! Hello, sir, I was just – uh, I was just –“ you stammered, turning to follow them both with your eyes as their load was dropped on one of the biobeds. “Well. I was just leaving, really.”

“She had an appointment,” Christine offered, her best and most polite smile on for your shared boss, who seemed too tired to do more than nod. “And we were just discussing… shifts?”

“Shifts.” Again, Dr. McCoy’s brow raised, and with skilled fingers he reached to slide them along the seam, a hiss sounding out as they opened up, bearing unloaded hypodermics, some bandaging supplies.

“Shifts.” Your voice was weak as you confirmed it, but while his eyes were down Christine gave you a subtle nod, winking even as you scowled at her. “You see, I was just – I was just wondering if I could take the beta shift next week, and… well. That’s a change I need you to sign off on. Dr. M’Benga and dr. Olson didn’t have a preference when I asked them.”

“Uh-huh,” was the gruff response, and as his fingers reached up to scratch at his chin, something like amusement seemed to play in his eyes. Although, thinking about it, you reasoned it was probably just the exhaustion and the lights in the med bay you saw instead. “So, you scheduled an appointment with Christine and my medbay, takin’ up one of the biobeds here, to talk about shift changes?”

“No. No, no, it wasn’t just about that,” you got out, more heat rising to your cheeks, and thankfully your feet were moving backwards, towards the door, as their hands slid into gloves and prepped the new cargo for treatment.

“She… took a spill in her quarters. Needed an analgesic. I did a scan to make sure it wasn’t anything more than a bruised tailbone and then gave her a dose of lidocaine for the area and acetaminophen for the pain.” Of course, Christine could chime in, sounding composed, while you had just managed to regain motor functioning.

“I see,” McCoy responded, and there was a brief moment where you were sure he was gonna call your bluff. You didn’t even remember right away that there was a hypo-stick in the first place, and the lidocaine definitely did not happen, right? But then, something, almost like a smirk washed over his features. They relaxed, and those eyes lit up again, deep and dark and warm. It was like taking a shot of whiskey, the sour leaving behind something that made your breath catch.

“You know you could just say you fell on your ass, Nurse Y/L/N.”

The stories about Dr. McCoy in a nutshell. No southern charm, just a sweet Georgian gut punch. Humor hiding in the comment, of course, but at that point your embarrassment made it taste pretty damn bitter.

Thankfully, though, the moment was gone. The smirk vanished, the exhaustion seemed to settle over him like a blanket, and his eyes glanced toward you once again before shrugging. “beta shift works for me. Just don’t let it screw with your head too much and find someone who’s willing to trade.”

“That’s… yes. Well - good night, sir,” you got out, biting your lower lip, bowing your head before shooting another glare at Christine. “Good night, Nurse Chapel, and I’ll see you both… when I see you.”

“Good night, Y/N,” Christine called out, and the good doctor managed a hum of acknowledgement, his attention already pulled away from your retreating form. And if there was a second glance at you, it was nothing more than confirmation that the night was back to peace and quiet.

“I am never going to recover from this.”

“Mmm,” Scotty ground out, his arm elbow deep into the guts of the Enterprise.

“I mean it, Monty!” You cried out, back flat on your bed, arm thrown across your face but leaving your mouth wide open to complain. “Jesus Christ and now I’ve gotten myself roped into beta shifts, ready to be bored out of my skull for a whole damn week. He thinks I’m an idiot. An idiot and insane!”

“D’you think?” Was the reply, but the lack of attention didn’t bother you one bit. You were barely paying attention.

No, your head was running wild, with the fear that the greatest job you had, the job you were best at, was now at risk because of some dumb game you played with Christine. What if Dr. McCoy had heard all of it? What if he had just walked in because he had heard enough, and then you’d get called into his office, not a smirk in sight, and request your resignation? Could he do that? Off of a conversation?

“Y/N!” Scotty called out, and that’s what finally broke your spiral downward, your body shooting up to a sitting position, looking up to see Scotty staring out of the bathroom at you. Your water was running, you could hear it, and Scott was grinning from ear to ear, some kind of tool tucked behind his ear.

“All fixed,” he crowed with joy, brushing his hands off on his uniform. When he leaned on the doorway, his eyes were gazing around the rest of the place, as if it was just waiting to break on him, too. “computer, shut down the shower. Now, what were you saying, lassie? Somethin’ about our chief medical officer, yes?”

And as Scott smiled at you, no recognition of your crisis in him, you just smiled back, standing up to give him a hug. Even without saying anything, he had the best ideas.

“Nothing, Monty. Thanks for the fix.”

He was hustled out a few moments later, after a playful argument taking bets on what piece of machinery in this poor room would fall apart next (he was a fan of the faulty replicator, but you had a gut feeling it’d be the temperature control). But soon he was out of the room, and you knew that ignoring the whole thing would be the best option.

Except with Christine, ignorance was never an option for bliss. When your padd beeped, and then your communicator, you were forced to answer the message, looking to see a little smiley face emoticon with a message that left your heart falling to the floor.

“Your answer? :)”

Your answer? For the game? After all of that and Christine had the gall? But you could see her smile, even from this far, a smile that made you smirk.

But they were the rules, and so the question was left in your head. What was your answer? What were the options?

You thought about it as you started to get ready for bed, t-shirt set on the counter in the bathroom, hot shower started. Your hair was put up before you stripped, your face splashed with water and a towel as steam began to fill the room.

“Captain Kirk.” No personal experience with him, but you, like everyone on the ship, had seen him around. Had heard the legends. There wasn’t a soul who didn’t seem stricken by the love bug when it came to him, blond hair perfect, smile bright, blue eyes startlingly, well, blue. Friendly, quick, brave. He was the perfect man. But not everyone knew Christine. Christine, who’d had the lovely interaction with Cadet Kirk, at the time, who ended up kicking him out of your shared dorm room after a bad argument gone bad. The air was cleared enough that he managed to get polite smiles from her, but after that captain kirk never had the appeal. He was a playboy. His nature, his right, you supposed. But not for you.

“Commander Spock.” Tall, handsome. But very Vulcan, and very taken. Now, you knew he had to have some kind of sweet side, and there was something, you guessed, about the confidence that his reliance on logic seemed to convey. After all, you’d heard him lecture a few times, and if you were honest that would’ve been when you were most attracted to him – using his knowledge and logic and proud spirit to lead others on the path toward serving the federation. But there was only so far that logic and a lack of emotion could go, and even though you’d heard of outbursts occurring where his emotion made their mark? No. Arguments aplenty.

And who did that leave?

“Dr. McCoy.”

At that point, you still hadn’t entered the shower, and the computer was telling you that the water was about to automatically turn off to preserve the function of the ship’s supply, but your head was no longer in your bedtime ritual, instead thinking about the mysterious Dr. Mccoy, the infamous Dr. McCoy.

The Dr. McCoy that made nurses cry every so often from his outbursts – never violent but fierce, always due to the protectiveness he had for his patients. The Dr. McCoy who was a doctor before he even became a cadet, with enough knowledge to fill a few books. The Dr. McCoy who had smirked at you with those dark and deep eyes, brown and full with some kind of life as he... Well, teased, southern accent lilting just a bit, maybe? That Dr. McCoy? The Dr. McCoy who saved lives and healed and always, always, always fought for more healthcare, for more hypos, for more protections for the nurses who somehow, even in the 24th century, managed to get pushed to the wayside?

When you stepped in the shower, it took a second for your fingers to bang at the control panel, your legs held together, and with a quick setting manipulation the steam quickly cleared, the water’s temperature dropping to ice cold. You were in, and you were out, but by the time you had dressed and brushed your teeth color had crept on your cheeks again.

All you could see were those eyes.

“Fuck.”

“Ah, Nurse Y/L/N,” the doctor said, eyes barely looking up from the singed hands of the red-shirt in front of him. “I need dermatological regen started here and a full body scan initiated on the biobed two over.”

Like nothing had even happened. Like your nightmare interaction two weeks ago hadn’t resulted in you unintentionally taking night shifts, resulting in a fucked up circadian rhythm and bags under your eyes, not to mention hours bored out of your skull.

Christine wasn’t here, and for once you were grateful. The last thing you needed was her eyes on you as you maneuvered around the doctor for a new shift while exhaustion lingered in the back of your mind. But it also meant that there was no one to offer a united front. Just you.

“Nurse Y/L/N?”

And you just spent the past minute mulling all of that in your mind. Making yourself look like a dumbass in front of the doc and his patient. The patient hadn’t noticed, staring at his own hands in horror, but Dr. McCoy seemed like he was regretting letting you back on to handle days.

Shit.

“You got it, doc,” you managed with a kind smile at the engineer, whose face you could now see as you walked past him toward the wall. Your hands expertly manipulated to storage system, and with the tricorder kept at your waist you gathered the necessities.

The great thing – you were damn good at what you did. Especially when you could focus on it. Your face was bright, uniform neat (until it wasn’t due to fluids of some kind), and your hands were steady. And no complicated patients came in that day, especially since no away missions were sent out and nothing malfunctioned horribly deep within the ship’s bowels.

And yet, no matter what you did, no matter how competent you showed you were, no matter how many laughs or smiles or even nods from the most stubborn of usual patients? Eyes were on you. Dark, deep eyes. The whole day, no matter where you went, a furrowed brow and focused tailed you, watching your interactions.

All in all, a good day. A great day, even, as you injected your last hypo and the padd reported a normal set of vitals, no reaction to the medication after fifteen minutes.

The shift was over, now. It was a good shift, one that required no personal defense. You gave report to the next nurse, said goodbye to the others on-duty. Your jacket put on, your hair pulled down and back up after the frizz of the day had ruined it. Nothing really to note.

So why did the doctor not let you out of his sight?

The rest of the week, the same routine. The flow you had gotten into on alpha shifts returned, and your week of off nights was left behind in favor of much better mornings. Back on track, the same old, same old. And yet with every shift there was a new weight, those eyes on you. It felt like if he wasn’t tending to a patient, and he wasn’t in his office in the back of the bay, he was watching you. Critical of every injection and admission. You were starting to go a little crazy with it, your mind going a million miles an hour, second guessing the simplest stuff just so you wouldn’t fuck up in front of the CMO.

But after a while, the fear of failure turned into anger.

What right did the doctor have to analyze like that? You were a great nurse! You treated your patients and coworkers fairly, with respect and compassion. What was there to complain about? You knew your shit, and here was McCoy, looking like the Enterprise regretted your assignment there in the first place. By the end of the week, that anger had built up, and once the weekend rolled around, and your two off days in a row loomed, you decided you were done.

“Is there something on my uniform, Dr. McCoy?” You asked, terse as you organized the vaccine cart, the new year meaning new yearly injections to follow up on.

His fingers had been steadily scrolling through files of crew members, but their nimble work paused at your question. His eyes had taken a break from tearing you apart, but now they were focused on you once again.

“Excuse me, Nurse Y/L/N?” He asked, his face looking almost pinched.

“I was just wondering if there was something on my uniform. Or in my teeth, perhaps. Something in my hair, maybe, too.” Your hands kept chugging along, automatically rearranging the colored liquids, but there was a tightness you couldn’t shake, a tension.

“Something in your hair?” The doctor repeated, and at his tone, somewhat amused, you finally turned to face him, your brow raised in a mimic of his.

“Well, there’s gotta be something, considering that you haven’t gone five minutes without staring at me like I’m your least favorite sight in the world. So, what is it? Uniform out of regs? Did I administer a medication wrong? Did a patient complain?”

At that point, the amusement had turned to indignation, maybe even anger. His jaw was clenched, and the padd in his hands had been abandoned on the desk in favor of crossed arms over his chest.

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, nurse,” he ground out, eyes flicking around the med bay. But there was no one to look at. No one to distract or overhear.

You couldn’t help your laugh. “Oh, I think you do,” you snapped, and almost mocking him, your arms crossed as well, a hip cocked, your eyes like daggers. “Ever since I came back on alpha shift, you’ve been doing all you can to catch me in a fuck-up. Well, it’s not happening! I’m damn good at what I do, and no amount of posturing, even from the CMO, would ever change that!”

His scoff was hard, arms uncrossing so a hand could pull through his hair in disbelief. “darlin’,” he said, slowly, as if you were dense, “There’s no posturing going on. Your abilities aren’t being doubted. Hell, I don’t even know your first name. Whatever story you’ve got going on in your head? It’s a story!”

His frustration showed through his accent, a southern drawl that got thicker as his sentences rambled on. But that couldn’t distract you from calling him out on his bullshit, no matter his position.

“I’m not senile,” you huffed, eyes rolling hard, and your steps closer were unconscious, crowding him against the desk he was leaning on now. “And I’m definitely not blind. So, tell me what your problem is with me, so I can go back to focusing on my job, and you can go back to focusing on yours!”

“There’s no damn problem!” His voice was almost a yell now, but you had no fear, and you sure as hell weren’t backing down. “It’s nothing. Hell, there isn’t anything to be nothing.”

And then it clicked, it clicked, as you stared into brown eyes that wavered for a second, that scanned you top to bottom in a split second. A break, a tell, whatever it was, the pieces were put together, and you stood tall, not letting his height on you intimidate.

“You overheard me and Christine, didn’t you?” It was low. “Is that what it is?”

“Overheard.” The clench in his jaw hadn’t loosened, but you watched that brow tick upwards again, his arms uncrossing so his hands could rest on the desk.

“When you walked in on us, last week,” you clarified. “You overheard our game.”

The anger was gone now. Now that everything had slotted into place, you weren’t angry. A little bit embarrassed maybe, but not angry. Frustration felt like it was leaking out of you, but the tension wasn’t gone. The standoff wasn’t broken. And after all of what, you had just yelled at your superior officer.

“Dr. McCoy,” you started, uncrossing your arms, and holding them up to offer a truce. “I apologize. For yelling. That… well, it shouldn’t have been my first move. But. I can explain, if you want me to.”

There was no verbal reply, but his exasperation came through with a huff, and he simply lifted a hand, gesturing for you to go on.

“It’s just a game we’ve played since the academy. It was inappropriate to play while Christine was on shift. I apologize for that as well,” you told him pulling back to glance once more at the sliding doors, which mercifully stayed closed. “It won’t happen again, I promise.”

“Just a game,” he repeated, and at first you didn’t catch the shift in his tone. Didn’t connect it with the glance toward the doors, or the way he stood from the desk, so that you were almost close enough to brush against him. “Just a game… using the names of your captain, commander, and chief medical officer?”

“Yes,” you said, shaking your head. “I’m sorry for that, as well, that definitely won’t be happening again.”

“A game talkin’ about who you’d rather have in your bed.”

Your eyes shot back to him, color flooding your cheeks.

“I’m… I’m sorry?”

“Well, that’s the game, isn’t it?” He said with a shrug, and as he leaned forward you could feel your breath catch in your throat, looking up into a face you imagined in your own quarters in the dead of night, as you let steaming water hit your skin. His jaw wasn’t clenched anymore, and his voice was a low rumble.

It wasn’t a threat. But it gave you goosebumps all the same, that the bass of his words, and you managed to nod, swallowing even as you kept your chin lifted.

“That’s the game. Is there a problem?”

And God, there was that smirk. Warm like whisky, it made your hands clench, your legs shift as that warmth rushed through you.

“No problem at all,” he hummed, and as he leaned close those lips brushed past your cheek. You could smell his cologne now, spice flooding your nose, the antiseptic of the day fading away. The chill in the air that always seemed to linger was gone, nothing but heat on your mind. Right in your ear you heard him, after a low chuckle that made you want to scream, beg him to get on with it. “I guess I’ve just been wondering what you would’ve answered, had I not… interrupted.”

Lunchtimes were surely coming to an end. Any second a patient could come in, could see the both of you crowded against the desk and know exactly why the whole place felt like an oven. But something possessed you, then, to bring one of your hands to his shoulder, the other to his hip, and lean just as close, almost pushing up on your toes to whisper right back.

“Give you one guess.”

Matches. That’s what that kiss felt like, a box of matches all lighting at once – the spark and the flash and explosion of heat as Dr. McCoy pulled back just enough to press his lips against yours. Nothing gentle, nothing kind, just a ferocity that made you moan against his mouth. His hands, broad and hot, began to roam on your back, settling just enough to pull you ever closer, so that your bodies were flush against each other. Your hand ended up twisted in his hair, the other fisted in his shirt. And just like matches, it was the start of a fire, one that had you both stumbling towards his office, the door sliding behind you with a quiet hiss.

“You were teasing me,” he ground out, directing you between kisses until the back of your thighs were against his desk. His hands gripped you then, around the waist, lifting you so you could sit. “And you didn’t even know it. Your voice over and over in my head, thinking about how it’d sound with my name.”

“So, you stare at my ass instead of asking me, hmm? What a southern gentleman,” you laughed, and for that you got teeth against your neck, a hand shoving your skirt up. The tips of his fingers seemed to skate over your skin, tickling your inner thigh. But those slow circles never quite got where you wanted, just left burning trails in their wake. “Talk about teasing.”

“At’s what you get for having a smart mouth,” he chuckled, face still against your neck. But soon he was back to kissing you, making your head spin.

“That I know how to use,” you shot back, once again between presses of lips and gasps of air. “I’m – I’m not just a pretty face.”

“Never said you were,” he purred, and this time both hands lifted your skirt high, reaching for the panties that did a poor job of hiding anything. “But why don’t you let me use my mouth first?”

“What an offer.” One you certainly wouldn’t refuse, especially since he looked hungry for it, for you.

There was a brief moment’s hesitation, his finger curled around the elastic and so close to ripping them off. But while his body was begging for it, his pants more than a little tight, his eyes met yours.

“Is that a yes?” He asked, his tongue running along his lips as he got to his knees.

Your gaze didn’t waver, a grin coming over you. “That’s a fucking yes, sir.”

His grin matched yours, sharp and wily as he rid you of your underwear, hands on your knees so he could pull them apart. You were bare to the cool air, and your teeth caught your lower lip as he leaned forward with a hot gasp on your inner thigh.

“Fucking gorgeous.”

The first thing you felt was the swipe of his tongue, a furious push against where you were wettest. A taste, almost, before he licked a line through your folds until his mouth enveloped your clit. You were swollen, desperate for it, and your gasp was thick as fingers once again tangled in his hair. If you said anything, it was a “please,” a “yes,” a “god, right there” as he worked.

He took you apart with his mouth, no hesitation as his tongue worked you over, swirling around your clit as a finger began to tease your entrance. It was with a gasp you came, his hand spreading you open with two fingers inside of you, and when you were able to see straight you saw that grin again, his chin wet, his lips red.

“Holy shit, Doc,” you huffed, your hand falling from his hair to his chin, thumb swiping across the mess and bringing it up to your mouth so you could get a taste of yourself. He did you one better, leaning forward to kiss you again, and the taste of him and you made you smile.

“Leonard.”

“Leonard,” you repeated, and when you pulled back his smile was softer. Almost… vulnerable. “Suits you.”

“Well, I hope so,” he laughed. “It is my name.”

“And it’s my turn,” you pointed out, reaching for his waistband. “I think you should move to the chair.”

#reader-insert #leonard mccoy x reader #bones x reader #leonard mccoy #christine chapel #montgomery scott #scotty #bones #fanfic #my fic #star trek: aos

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ichayalovesyou · 4 years ago

Audio

My last Lyrical Fanfic was Pon Farr (An Amok Time Tribute) check it out Here.

Shame & Shores To Walk On:

Ship: Spirk (Spock/Kirk)

Episode: The Naked Time

Premise: Poorly timed soul baring, mutual and intense pining, angst, and very messy confessions brought on by sickness and a life or death situation.

I Am Sorry (Act One): Starts with Ugh, Spock having an emotional breakdown in the briefing room.

Bad Taste (Act Two): Starts with I Don’t Know What To Do With My Hands, Spock struggles to confess his feelings for Jim.

Better Off (Act Three): Starts with These Streets, Jim laments his love/hate relationship with the Enterprise and longs for a relationship, something real, something permanent.

The Risk Untaken (Act Four): Starts with After All, what was seen cannot be unseen, done undone, said unsaid, time warp or no time warp. Jim & Spock have seen things in one another that neither was ready to show, the question is what do they do about it?

Full fanfic below!

~Act One: I Am Sorry~

Ugh~by The Warning, from Queen Of The Murder Scene (Album) “I am in control of my emotions”

Spock is having a full blown panic attack, he’s enraged, embarrassed! He hasn’t had one since he was a child! What could have possibly brought this on? Was it the accidental meld with Christi- the disease. He cannot be seen like this! But, the Captain needs him. Spock is horrified to discover that he needs him too. Where had this need come from? Why did it insist on tightening his throat and setting his hands trembling? He cannot be seen like this!

“There’s so much more to this than that, suppress those feelings bite them back.”

The Sailor Song~by Autoheart, from Punch (Album) “I am an officer, an officer!”

Spock is absolutely irate with himself, this was horribly unprofessional, horribly Human. He is a starfleet officer and his Captain needs him, they’re all in grave danger and all he can do is sob?! And shudder?! The Vulcan in him wanted to run, hide, desperately. The Human half, more than anything else, wanted to seek Jim out. Neither could be satisfied, so here he would remain, and hope he would be found. Not just by anyone, but, by Jim…

Pathetic.

“Your overbearing best friend, hoping, for some attention.”

Love Love Love~by Of Monsters & Men, from My Head Is An Animal (Album) “My duty- my duty is to- too late. Too late. I’m sorry.”

The shaking, the tears refused to stop, no Vulcan meditation or mathematical litany could get them to cease. Spock was suddenly overwhelmed with the pointlessness of it all. The effort to stop it, the effort to fight both halves of himself. He did not have the strength to fight the needing, wanting for James Kirk. The Captain, who did not have time for a First Officer who was now unfit for duty by his own carelessness. No, it was better that he was alone, he had failed.

“And those bright blue eyes, can only meet mine from across a room filled with people that are less important than you.”

Lazy Eye~by Silversun Pickups, from Carnavas (Album) “Where have you be-?! What happened?”

To say Captain Kirk was shocked to find his First Officer in such emotionally compromised straits would be a woeful understatement. Spock barely recognized that he’d arrived, whatever Jim was saying, it didn’t matter, not yet, perhaps never. There was a silver lining to this, madness, brought on by the disease, it was that Spock was free. He could speak his mind, his heart- If he could get these words out, then maybe the freedom would be permanent. He had to tell him.

“I’ve been waiting for this moment, all my life. But it’s not quite right.”

~Act Two: Bad Taste~

I Don’t Know What To Do With My Hands~by Minor Alps, from Get There (album) “Living on a planet where love, emotion, was in bad taste.”

Precision and coherence had left him with the carefully cultivated logic Spock so prized. He had been flung so violently against his human half in this moment, normally enduring a constant fight to come to the surface, was now running amuck. He felt like a freak of nature, he was, a freak of nature. But that didn’t matter, so long as he could talk to the Captain, Jim deserved to understand. Understand what has prevented him from speaking his heart all this time. If only he could reach him. Then everything else could matter.

“May be some kind of monster, maybe I just don’t know how to reach out, reach out.”

The Moon Will Sing~by The Crane Wives, from Coyote Stories (Album) “I respected my father, our customs, I was ashamed of my earth blood.”

Spock felt his resentment claw at his throat. The blow reminded him of childhood bullies. His father, though he’d never struck him, but wasn’t much better; Cold, seeking weakness, seeking emotions, that forbidden humanity. Why did he feel as though something had been kept from him? What had been stolen and could it be found again? This madness let him see it, but he could not touch it. Whatever it was, he wanted to give it to Jim, why couldn’t he understand?

“My heart knew the weight, ten years worth of dust and neglect, we made our peace with weariness and let it be.”

Runs In The Family~by Amanda Palmer, from Who Killed Amanda Palmer? (Album) “Jim.. When I feel friendship for you I’m ashamed!”

Spock quickly found his resentment mingle with rage. Why did his parents insist upon his being born of two worlds?! Could they not have afforded him the blessing of being from only one? There was no logic in being shamed for biological differences by his peers! It was illogical to feel shame over it! Why couldn’t Jim see what he was trying to tell him? Why wasn’t he listening?!

He grabbed Jim’s hand, perhaps they could both be certain then.

“We tend to bruise easily, bad in the blood, I’m telling you ‘cause I just want you to know me, know me and my family”

The One~by The Warning, from Queen of The Murder Scene (Album) “Understand Jim? I’ve spent a whole lifetime, learning to hide my feelings.”

Could the Captain really understand? He was Human after all, and there was no doubt Spock’s feelings, grotesque or not, were undeniably Human. Spock needed an explanation, he needed words, he needed them so that they could be given back. All he could receive from the Captain were feelings, feelings between to shouts that could not yet matter. The emotions that radiated from his touch were as painful and confusing as his own. More so than the feeble strikes that accompanied them.

“Can you explain to me what’s this feeling? Love it or hate it it’s never leaving. Want to believe, that you feel it too.”

~Act Three: Better Off~

These Streets~by Bastille, from All This Bad Blood (Album) “I’ve got it, the disease… Love. You’re better off without it and I’m better off without mine!”

This new, vulnerable Spock, Jim was ashamed to admit, scared him. And not just because he smacked him clear across the table! If Spock was trying to say what he thought he was, he couldn’t afford it! He couldn’t allow it, he wished he were more like Spock, able to just block the feelings bubbling up within him. Everyone he’s ever loved has left or gotten hurt, he couldn’t let that happen to Spock. The only thing that could not leave him was this ship, and he could not afford to lose her!

“These streets are yours you can keep them, in my mind it’s like you haunt them, and passing through I think I see you, in the shapes of other women.”

Various Storms & Saints~by Florence + The Machine, from How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful (Album) “You’re allowed to notice her, a captain’s not permitted-“ “Jim.”

Jim found himself thinking of Janice, he couldn’t touch her, not after what his other half had done. Besides, he shouldn’t, he didn’t deserve it- and Spock… He wanted him too, but the ship needs him more, it needed them both more. It hurt so much all the sudden, it was like he was drowning, anchored to the bottom of the ocean, if he could reach the surface for a moment- what made Spock think they could be together?! Have anything at all?!

“I know you’re bleeding but you’ll be okay, hold on to your heart you’ll keep it safe, hold on to your heart don’t give it away.”

Crimson Queen~by The Warning, from Queen of The Murder Scene (Album) “A beach to walk on, a few days no braid on my shoulder”

If they could just get out of this place, live to fight another day, then, maybe! But… even if the ocean would be gone and the anchor would still be there, there’s nowhere to go. Why did this scare him more than the immediate danger? More than any other feelings he’s felt for someone else? Was it just the disease… or something more?

“I know love shows in mysterious ways, still my screaming makes no sound, just silence at the roundabout.”

Hearts A Mess~by Gotye, from Like Drawing Blood (Album) “…no beach to walk on.”

“Sinner repent?” Ha, that much was true, it seemed to James Kirk that these, whatever these feelings were, were his repentance. He couldn’t reach out, couldn’t speak, and Jim didn’t want to, couldn’t afford to. The blood was still there, it could be wiped away. The ache? He could live with it for now, he’d live with it forever if he had to. As long as Spo- the Enterprise and its crew were safe.

“Your hearts a mess, you won’t admit to it, it makes no sense, but I’m desperate to connect, and you can’t live like this.”

~Act Four: The Risk Untaken~

After All~by The Altogether, from When We Were Kids (Album) “Are you alright Jim?”

Part of Spock looked forward to being cured, the other wanted to hold onto the madness, just a little longer. He thought of the three words he could not say even with the peculiar freedom the sickness brought, and certainly could not say on the bridge… “Let me help” would not work, the captain could not show weakness at this time, perhaps, this other verbal trinity would suffice, in place of “I love you”.

“To heal the hearts the world had broke, a song for every sacrifice.”

Three Little Birds~by Branches, from Three Little Birds (Album) “… are you?”

Neither of them answered, but the silence was more than enough, of course they weren’t alright. They had revealed to each other things neither were ready to share. Sure, they’d survived, thankfully no one had died. Jim was no longer drowning, the anchor was lighter than he had remembered, and Spock seemed, fine, back to normal, sort of. They weren’t alright, but maybe, they would be.

“Singing don’t worry, about a thing, ‘cause every little thing is gonna be alright.”

She~by dodie, from Human (Album) “We have three days to live over again.” “Ha…Not those last three days.”

Three days, all over again, perhaps they could pretend what happened… No of course they couldn’t, what is done cannot be undone, nor said unsaid. But, what was said? Did he know? did he understand? Does he feel the same? For now, he is content to let the answer lie hidden. Not daring hope that he was right, but… why was he still staring at him?

“Am I allowed to look at her like that? Could it be wrong? When she’s just so nice to look at.”

Drive~by Incubus, from Make Yourself (Album) “We may risk it some day Mr. Spock.”

Fears and aches or not, Jim had learned a great deal about his First Officer today. It would only be a matter of time before the Vulcan in him took over again. If the anchor was light enough, maybe he could drag himself, little by little, close enough to reach him. Regardless of what may come, at least they knew each other now. If Jim could help it, he was going to learn more.

“Whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there, with open arms and open eyes.”

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ladyideal · 5 years ago

Text

Our Love 3/3

Pairing: McKirk x Reader

Word Count: 11.5k (it spiraled away, I’m sorry.)

Warnings: Geez, where to begin. Lots of alcohol, lots of cursing, description of injuries, fighting, mild panic attack, major character death, really 95% angst, crying and sobbing. (Probably missed something, let me know if I do.)

Summary: After three years with Leonard, and one year with Jim, both your boyfriends proposes to you during Jim’s bday. You said yes. With a new away mission, both Jim and Leonard were called down. Even though you had a bad feeling about it, you let them convince you it will be okay. It was not okay. Honestly, go read the story.

A/N: Welp, here’s the end folks. And I’m quite at a loss of having typing down almost 12k words in this part. It’s long, but it’s worth the read, I promise. This has become my longest story ever, and I’m proud of it. Hope you like it still, @cuddlememerrick. I did tell you it was gonna break your heart. I chose “Close Your Eyes.” as my last prompt. You’ll only get 2k of fluff. That’s it.

Please get a box of tissues ready. I promise you’ll need them.

Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3

Jim confessed.

No, he wasn’t jealous. He wasn’t upset. In fact, he wasn’t feeling any of them. He loved you. He wanted you. He loved Len, and Len did too. After a talk with Leonard late one night, you and him agreed. Logically, two became three.

Starfleet had mentioned no relationships with the direct superior, something that Spock continued to point out every time he gets the chance. Jim snorted, and waved it away. To hell with that rule, he said. There was no way that Starfleet could really enforce that rule without making several people upset.

Plus Jim was unorthodox that way. As a Captain, he wasn’t very strict with the rules, a more laid back attitude to them. Sure, it gave you problems and headaches when annual ship inspection came around. But it was worth it.

It was worth having Jim as your Captain and now boyfriend.

Since then, your relationships with your two boys have only gone up, and much better. It was double the fun, and double the love. It wasn’t easy to spend time together, especially as Captain and First Officer, your shifts were staggered in order to accommodate between the three shifts. All three accommodated the circumstances by working on the ship.

You cherished the time together when you can. Whether it was going down to Engineering and almost always having a displeased Doctor yelling at you for being so careless or spending time at the holodeck or drinking at the officer’s lounge and passing out, it was good times.

Especially since the horrible fight with Leonard, you and him had reconcile and found a better way to help convey your side of the opinion and then his. It took time to get back to where the relationship was previously, but with Jim on board, everything was seamless.

It was almost as if you were living a fairy tale dream. Your two princes and you all dressed up in a wonderful life. Leonard snorted at the idea when you mentioned it to him, but in his eyes, you knew he was pleased. Jim was the opposite, laughing and grinning at the idea. You even wondered if it was even a good idea to tell him that. By his shit eating grin to go off of, you knew that he was cooking up an idea in his head.

You weren’t disappointed.

Since Jim’s birthday was in a week, Jim had finally announced that he wanted his birthday party to be a fairy tale themed. Immediately, you and the doctor both rolled your eyes at his antics. The blonde pouted.

“Come on, Y’N,” He tried to convince you. “I know Bones wasn’t going to like it. But you? Please.”

Throughout the day, he’d begged you in all sorts of different ways. A message there, a message written on the foggy mirror, a sticky note on your computer, a frowny face on your PADD, and so much more. He’d even somehow got Leonard to jump on board, and help with his pleading.

“Enough Jim,” You finally broke down, shaking your head at him as you sat across from him over dinner. “Alright, alright. I’ll do it. I’ll put something together for you, but only because you’re insufferable.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

You did it anyways. Swinging down to the education side of the ship, you spoke to the teachers there to organize an event with the kids. Draw some pictures of the Captain and even draw some pretty castles in the background, and make it a contest. It would be a nice background and decorations around the rec room when Jim was able to get off duty and judge who was best.

Cake. You frowned in the kitchen of your quarters, looking down at the recipes that your PADD was able to come up with. Being on the ship was hard enough, much less had enough of the ingredients you needed. You sighed.

Replicator it was.

While you were busy mixing the sprinkles within the batter, a pair of strong arms and the scent of bourbon enveloped you from behind. Ignoring your surprised squacks, Leonard gently planted a kiss on your cheek.

“Leonard McCoy!” You grumbled, swatting his arms away. “You almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Good thing I’m a doctor,” The bastard smirked. “Baking Jim’s cake?”

“If you keep hugging me like that, I will never be able to get it finished on time,” You groaned, lightly pushing away from him. “Now come on doctor, get an apron on. Still need to get started on the cupcakes.”

You threw a nearby apron to his face, grinning back at him. Reproachfully, he pouted at you, but pulled the offered apron off his face, and rolled his sleeves up.

“Where can I help, sweetheart?”

Rows of children’s drawings of Jim hung across the walls of the room, and a large “HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAPTAIN KIRK” decoration slung above them all. The large cake and a dozen or so frosted cupcakes sat in the center, and a modest pile of unopened presents sat tucked away in the far corner of the entrance. Officers milled about, all with a drink in their hands. Uhura was dancing with Spock, Scotty was already drunk and waving his arms around as he spoke to an equally drunk but interested Chekov, and Sulu was dealing out poker at another table.

“Thank you so much, Y/N,” Jim hurried over when you and Leonard finally entered.

“Hey, what about me?” Leonard grumped as you were lifted into the air.

“Let me down, Jim,” You laughed, kicking slightly in the air. “Let me down!”

“You too, Bones,” The Captain smirked over at the doctor, but reluctantly set you back down on your feet.

“Happy birthday, Jim,” You and the doctor chorused, kissing the blonde and grinning as Leonard kissed his cheek too.

“How did you get the kids to draw all these?” Jim pointed at the pictures and models of him.

You smirked. “All I had to do was say it was your birthday, and whoever draws the best picture or the best model wins a prize. Judged by you,” You spoke, watching as Leonard left the conversation to grab some bourbon from the bar. “You do have to give out three honorable mentions though.”

Jim laughed, and brought you tightly to him again. “Thank you so much, Y/N. You really outdid yourself this time.”

You beamed at him. “Anything for you, Jimmy boy.”

Jim eyed Leonard for a moment, and in that silent exchange, both men nodded.

“Alright, everyone,” The Captain spoke up louder this time, gaining the attention of those that attended his party. “Thank you for coming to my party. It was spectacular, much more than I ever expected on a ship, and away from home. You can thank Commander Y/N for planning and setting everything up.” He paused, briefly smirking at you again.

“But I have a surprise of my own.”

You frowned slightly, confused at the turn of events. It was supposed to be you having the surprises, like the lingerie bag hidden underneath the bed, not the birthday boy himself.

Leonard slid closer to you. “Close your eyes, sweetheart.”

With no other choice, you obeyed. Closing your eyes, you listened to the shuffles in front of you. What the hell was going on.

“Now open them.”

Your eyes widened at the sight of the box held by Jim and Leonard in front of you, and both your boyfriends on one knee. Feeling your heart leap inside your chest, your jaw dropped in surprise. Several officers around you gasped loudly. A surprise squeak bubbled out of your mouth, as you understood what was going on. Rather carefully, Jim pried your left hand away from your mouth.

“Y/N, when I first met you on the ship three years ago, I couldn’t believe there could be anything that shone brighter than the stars. I thought that this could be it, that you were the one that I was looking for. I have this ship, I have this crew, and most importantly I have you. I was scared at first. My reputation hasn't been the greatest, and thought that alone would scare you away from me,” Jim smiled tentatively up at you. "Being on this ship is scary enough all alone with no one beside. I know I make more mistakes than I have made right ones. But I promise to do my best to do it right for you, for Bones, for us.”

You could only blink in response, wiping away tears with your free hand.

“Sweetheart, when I first met you three years go at your cafe, you rudely barged into my life with no care at all,” Leonard picked up, pausing when you giggled. “You set my coffee down, made me eat those overly sweet cookies, and talked with me even though I was a total stranger. You didn’t know me, and I only knew your cafe because all my nurses were begging me to go and try your coffee out. You made me realize that there was still hope in the future, and that you were it. I know I can be temperamental at times, but you love me just the way I am. Joanna loves you, same with ma, and everyone else in our family and Jim’s. We want to spend the rest of our lives with you.”

“Will you do us the honor of marrying us?” The two spoke in complete unison.

Tears streaked down your cheeks as you nodded.

“Yes,” You spoke, clearing your throat. “Yes!”

With breathtaking smiles, you watched as Leonard pulled the snug diamond ring out of its confines and slowly pushed it up your finger.

You stared in amazement at the row of dazzling diamonds on your hand for a minute, before lifting your head up at the sounds of people cheering all around. Leonard and Jim beamed as congratulations were offered, and the party continued long into the night.

"I can't believe you Jimbo, for pulling that off," You grumbled, but the smile on your face robbed you from being serious. "You too Len."

"Can't a guy have his tricks up his sleeve?" The blonde spoke, changing out of his regulation shirt into his pajamas.

"Besides Y/N," Leonard added on, digging through his drawer for some sweatpants. "You're not sneaky enough. We've known for quite some time about what's hidden under the bed."

You gasped out loud from under the covers, and groaned in frustration. "Come on! It was supposed to be a surprise." You pouted at your now fiancees.

"You don't hear us complaining, do you?" Jim wickedly smirked. Your eyes widened at his words, then swung over to an equally smug Leonard.

It was going to be a long night for you.

It was a day later when the Enterprise received a distress call from one of the Federation colonies. Jim being Jim insisted that he was going to go beam down, and somehow managed to convince Leonard to join him.

“J, are you sure about going down? I can go in your place,” You punched a couple buttons on your PADD, entering his ready room without knocking. Frowning at the lack of response from your captain, you looked up in time to see Jim gently nipping at Leonard’s lower lip. You shook your head.

“Close your eyes, Bones,” The blonde purred.

Of course.

“Ahem,” You loudly cleared your throat. Immediately the doctor and captain bounced apart, faces red after the amount of making out they were having.

“Good god sugar, there’s somethin’ called knockin’,” Leonard scowled, smoothing out his tunic. “You should try it sometime.”

Jim waggled his eyebrows at you. “How long have you been standing there watching us, hmm? Bet you want to join us.”

You rolled your eyes at the blonde. “While you went and had your fun,” you paused, glaring daggers at Leonard as though the make out session was all his fault.. “I really need to get this away mission sorted out.”

Jim shrugged, righting his shirt. “Just me, Bones, and some security is needed. They’ve got some injured, and need some supplies to be beamed down to the colony.”

You frowned. There was a bad feeling about this mission, almost making you nauseous as your stomach rolled. “Jim, something feels wrong about all this. They want you and Leonard specifically. No other missions have been like this. You, yes, but not Len.”

Clapping you on the shoulder, you watched as the captain sat back down in his chair. “It’ll be alright, Y/N. It’s just a routine mission.”

“Now hold up Jim, you didn’t say that they-,” Leonard interjected.

You bit down at your lower lip, unsure. “You’re the captain here, I can go down instead. If something happens, it’s not only you anymore. The ship can’t lose its captain. It’s a gut feeling, J. Something’s wrong down there.”

“You said it yourself, doll,” Jim leaned against his seat. “It’s dangerous out there for you. Let me and Bones take care of it.”

You huffed in frustration, turning to Leonard once more. “And what about you? You’re hardly one that likes to go down for missions like this.”

“M’Benga has gone down the last five missions that needed a doctor,” The doctor scowled at Jim. “And someone has to keep an eye on the infant. Heaven forbid that I look away from him for a second, and the next minute he’s sporting an injury.”

You threw your hands up into the air, done with the pair. “This isn’t over,” You grumbled, pivoting on your heels and storming out.

Needless to say, the next two days you needled and prodded at the two whenever you got a chance whether it was face to face or by via messages. You couldn’t believe your fiancees. If both went down, and god forbid something does happen, you would be losing one, or even both. Jim was always a risk taker, but what surprised you was the doctor.

Leonard was one to never go down on a mission, if he could help it. In fact, he would be turning to the other doctors and nurses to fill in the spot so he wouldn't have to go. Now, him volunteering himself to go down, was absolutely mind boggling. You didn’t know what else to do, but to badger them as much as possible.

“Get some sleep, doll,” Jim spoke firmly to you in front of your shared quarters, and gazed into your eyes. “Someone out of us three have to be the alert one, and watch it all up from the ship where you won’t be in harm's way.”

“J, please. You have to listen to me, Something’s not right,” You pleaded quietly. “I can’t lose you or Len if something were to happen.”

“And nothing is going to happen, Y/N,” Jim gently brought you into a tight hug. You laid your cheek on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. “I’ve got Bones beside me, and I’ve got you watching from above. It’ll go fine, I swear.”

You chuckled weakly. “You can’t make that promise, Jim,” You croaked, tears welling up in your eyes. You couldn’t lose him or Leonard or both. It would devastate you. “Not when every time you go down for a mission, something always goes wrong and you always land yourself in Medbay.”

“Tell me, baby doll, what are you wearing on your hand?”

“A-a-a r-ring?” You stuttered out in confusion, flickering your eyes up at his face.

“A promise, Y/N,” He gently corrected you, rubbing comforting circles on your back. “My promise to you, and Bones’s promise too. No matter what happens. We will be back.”

You whimpered silently into his shirt, and closed your eyes briefly. Other officers walking along the same corridor skirted around you as much as possible, but some had lingering curiosity. You could care less at the moment. All you wanted, desperately hoped for, was for both your fiancees to return safe and sound.

“Get some sleep.”

“You too, Jim.”

Leonard was already fast asleep on the bed when you entered. The lights were at 10% brightness, something he must have thought ahead for you. As softly as you could, you stripped off your uniform, threw it into the clothes hamper, and slowly squeaked out the middle drawer for your pajamas.

After brushing your teeth in record time, you sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing your unshed tears away. The mattress squeaked when you sat down, but silenced as you crawled under the covers. As though the doctor could sense your body heat, his arms shot out, and gently pulled you in to him.

“Wha took you so long?” He mumbled quietly, still sleep addled. An eye peeked down as you yawned, pressing yourself closer into your teddy bear of a doctor.

“Jim,” was all you managed out, closing your eyes.

“It’ll be okay, baby girl,” Leonard replied. “We’ve got you.”

Despite your fears for the coming day, you shoved your worries away for the meantime and let yourself drift away. It wasn’t long before the other side of the mattress dipped down and squealed, another pair of arms wrapped comfortably around your middle. You’d tensed up briefly, but relaxed again as Jim kissed your cheek, careful to not wake you.

“I’m here, doll,” Jim settled himself right alongside your body.

“Always.”

With that, you were lulled back into a dreamless sleep.

Beep.

As your alarm blared loudly from one of the nightstands, you were stuck between two furnaces of bodies, and limbs thrown carelessly at every angle. It didn’t take long before the men on both your sides groaned and whined unhappily.

“Someone shut the thing up,” Leonard grumbled unhappily from your right. You groaned this time, sliding deeper under the covers in an attempt to catch a few more zzs.

“J, please,” You mumbled, poking the captain insistently for a few minutes.

He was awake in an instant, rubbing his eyes open. “Who set the alarm so early?”

“You told me to last night,” You replied from within the covers.

“Oh, shut up the thing first.”

Naturally, Jim stuck a foot out and tipped the blaring alarm over the edge and onto the floor with a light crash, finally ending the noise for good.

“I’ll have Scotty fix it later.”

Leonard groaned again with a quiet finally. The three of you continued laying in bed for another moment before you reluctantly untangled yourself from both Jim’s and Leonard’s arms, and sat up.

“Come on, you two. Can’t have the Captain and the CMO late.”

It took some prodding, and some veiled insults to finally get both your teddy bears up and out of bed. Even then, both seemed rather grumpy as everyone started their morning routine.

As the two men hogged the bathroom, you hummed to yourself as you poured in some real coffee grounds, and then hot water into the coffee maker. After a moment, you steeped it, and poured a generous helping of coffee into three mugs. Knowing Leonard wanted his coffee black and bitter, you set his aside and concentrated on Jim’s next. With a little bit of sugar, into yours and Jim's, you stirred both mugs, and ending it with a splash of milk into yours.

You adjusted your gold shirt in front of the mirror, rubbing your eyes every once in awhile. “Coffee’s ready,” You called out when the door to the bathroom opened.

“That the real thing?” Leonard called from the bedroom, hunting down a new shirt to wear.

“Yup.”

“And you’ve been hiding it away from all of us?” Jim asked in feigned disappointment from the couch, trying to lace up his boots. “I could have had this kind of coffee a long time ago, and the actual caffeine would really kick in.��

“Only break it out on the harder days.”

“That’s not fair,” He whined. “You brought this from your cafe, didn’t you?”

“Dammit Jim,” Leonard emerged from the bedroom with some lingering bed hair left, saving you from explaining. “It’s too early in the morning for your yapping right now.”

You laughed. Leonard grunted beside you, and picked up his steaming mug on the kitchen counter. His arm snaked around your waist, and you smiled in the reflection. Before long, Jim stood on your other side with his mug in one hand, and the other on your shoulder.

“Okay you two ridiculous asses, it’s almost 8 and we’re still in the room,” You grouched after a moment of content silence.

“Look who’s talking first,” Jim grinned. “And I know you enjoy watching our asses in the regulation pants. Don’t deny it, doll.”

“Shut up, Jim.”

You chuckled, and grabbed your mug on the way out the door as you followed them.

Two hours went by as you and Jim sat on the Bridge catching up with the Gamma crew and then looking over at missed messages. You frowned down at your PADD, head bent down as you took another sip of your coffee.

“It’s some good grounds you got there,” Jim leaned over your shoulder, trying to get a glimpse of what you were working on. “Should pop it out more often. Coming for breakfast?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

You set your tray down beside Leonard’s and Jim’s across from yours. You’d finally give in after the prospect of replicating some chocolate chip pancakes and bacon was too tempting to ignore. The doctor eyed your breakfast with a scowl.

“Isn’t that a mountain of unhealthy sugar and fat you’ve got there, Commander?” He pursed your lips at your choice of breakfast.

You rolled your eyes at him, ignoring the snorts from Jim. “Want some, Doctor? It’s not bad at all. The replicator got it mostly right this time” You offered.

“No thank you,” He wrinkled his nose, and went back to scooping his yogurt.

“Your loss,” You shrugged, but said nothing when you let him steal a piece of bacon off your plate too.

To most of the crew, it was a normal day. To you though, your worry gnawed at your thoughts. Halfheartedly, you worked your way into cleaning the plate in front of you. A lot of things could go wrong, and you weren’t sure what you would if this particular away mission went badly sideways. As though he could sense your thoughts, Jim grabbed one of your hands into his.

“It’ll be okay, Y/N,” He assured you. “I’ve got Bones with me. He’ll keep me safe from the bad guys.”

You shook your head. “I can’t help it, J. Until you both are safely beamed back up, I won’t know what’s going on there. I’m letting my two favorite people down onto the planet with nothing else but phasers and others to keep you safe.”

“We’ll keep you posted at all times.”

You didn’t look convinced by his words.

“Hey, hey sweetheart, breath for me. You’re turning pale,” The doctor watched you, setting his fork down with a clatter. “I’m still here, Jim’s still here. We’re not going anywhere. But I need you to take some deep breaths for me first.”

It took a moment for you to reign in your terror, and drawn in a deep breath.

“There you go, you keep breathing like that,” Leonard encouraged you, rubbing circles on the back of your hand. You took another shuddering breath in, and smiled weakly up at him in gratitude.

“Thank you.”

“Anything for you, sweetheart. Jim and I will always be here for you,” He paused, scowling over at the Captain. You let out a breathy laugh, and returned to your breakfast.

“Once this is all over, we will be in each other arms laughing upon it tonight,” Jim smiled at you.

“Just be safe, okay?” You looked seriously between the two men.

“We promise,” Both your fiancees replied in unison, and you couldn’t help but tentatively smiled back.

When you were full, and almost sleepy again, Jim turned away from the conversation with the other senior officers, and towards you and Leonard. “We should get going to the briefing, Bones, and you need to be back on the Bridge soon, Y/N.”

Half an hour went by before the Captain and the doctor reappeared by your side on the Bridge. Nothing much had changed, save for the medkit swung across Leonard’s shoulder.

“How’d it go?”

“We’re ready to head down to the transporter room, and have a rumble with them,” Jim answered first. You raised an eyebrow at his words, a habit you’ve caught on from no other than the doctor beside.

“Okay okay, we’re ready to help them out, and get our asses back here with you,” Jim hastily revised his statement when he saw both the scowl on Leonard's face and your raised eyebrow.

“I’ll go down with you,” You stood up, indicating for Spock to take the conn. “Let’s go before Len frowns the entire universe upside down.”

You made small talk with the two on the way towards the transporter room. It was mostly gossip, but it was something to fill the silence. When you reached the transporter room, you realized that the other members of the away team had already arrived and received their phasers from security.

“Well, I guess this is it,” You turned back to Leonard and Jim, gazing up at their faces.

“We’ll be okay, I promise,” Jim hugged you again, kissing you full on the lips. He lingered there for a moment before breaking away from the hug. “I’ll see you real soon, doll.. Take care of the ship for me. Let me worry about the mission, okay? I love you.”

You nodded. As Jim stepped away to call out the rest of the security going alongside him, Leonard approached you, face full of concern. He knew what you were going through, and understood the worry that spiraled you into a mild panic attack.

“Hey, I know you’re anxious about this mission, Y/N,” The doctor delicately cupped your face with his palms, gazing down at you affectionately. “But I’ll be there to watch Jim’s ass and he’ll watch mine. We’ll be fast, I promise. Get ‘em fixed, get ‘em their supplies, and we’ll be back on the ship in no time.”

“You promise?”

“Cross my heart,” He kissed you, and you eagerly responded back. Staying in his embrace for as long as you could, you closed your eyes and leaned your cheek on his chest.

“I love you,” You muttered, just loud enough for him to hear your words.

“I love you too,” Leonard murmured softly.

You and him stayed in the embrace for the rest of the time it took the Captain to straighten out his team and up onto the pads. It wasn’t long before you heard the shuffling and rearranging of people when you heard the cough.

“Bones, we need to leave,” Jim regrettably called out.

“Love you,” Leonard kissed you on the lips one more, this time in full view of everyone else. You kissed him back. Too soon before the doctor broke the kiss and stepped towards the pads. You smiled sadly at them all.

“Energize.”

In a blink of an eye, they were gone.

The Bridge was silent as you paced repeatedly from left to right, spin around, and back where you came from. It was nerve wracking being on the ship, and having your two fiancees down there on the ground.

“Kirk to Enterprise. Do you hear me?”

“Captain, we read you loud and clear,” You replied immediately, stilling for once.

“We are at the edges of the colony, but so far there seems to be no life.”

You frowned, resuming your pacing once more. “There’s no one?”

“No one in sight,” Jim confirmed. You heard the trace of worriness in his voice. “The sun’s up already in the afternoon, should be seeing movements and daily life by now.”

“Check a little further in, and see what’s going on.” Your pacing increased as did your worry.

“Will do, Kirk out.”

You waited.

And waited.

And waited some more

“Bones, is it just me or something doesn’t exactly feel right?” Jim spoke, leading the front as he surveyed the quiet settlement in front of him. The wind screeched around the buildings, and echoed as the trees swayed, and rubbed branches against one another. The back of his hair stood up, and goosebumps traveled up his arm..

Nothing felt right.

“It’s too calm if that’s what you’re tryin’ to say,” Leonard too was on high alert, instinct screaming at him that he shouldn’t move closer into the eerie calm colony. He sniffed the air, and stilled. The scent of copper was in the air, faint, but very noticeable. “Jim, there’s blood in the air.”

Jim looked over at Bones, and looked back towards the front. He squared his shoulders, as though he had made the decision.

“Phasers up everyone,” He instructed, pulling his out too. “We’re going to have company really soon.”

By this time, several hours had passed by and no other news was given.

“Any luck you’ve got there, Lieutenant Uhura?” You shot at her, finally sitting down in the Captain’s chair after nearly exhausting the floor that you were pacing on earlier.

“I’ve got their signals, but they aren’t picking up,” Your best friend spoke from behind, and you sighed, nervously running a hand through your hair.

Spock watched you as you turned into a nervous wreck, silently striding over to you. “Perhaps it is best we send the other team down, Commander.”

“I’m going down, and leading the back up,” You jumped to your feet.

“Commander, may I remind you again that you are the First Officer aboard this ship. Regulations state that the Captain and First Officer can not both be present on an away team,” Spock spoke.

You scowled, bristling at his words. To hell with the regulations. What with the dread curling tightly in your stomach and the lack of communication, you were beyond worried.

“Starfleet can reprimand me all they want, but I would rather be safe than sorry right now. You’ve got the conn, Spock. I have to do this. Nyota, could you send a message down to Security to have the back up team ready in the transporter room in five?”

Once she’d given the affirmative, you swept out of the Bridge and into a turbolift without a backwards glance. Impatiently, you tapped your foot and crossed your arms across your chest. You should have never let them down. If only you were a bit more convincing, made both Leonard and Jim realize that they should send other people down and not themselves, you wouldn’t be in this current situation. When the lift doors opened, you hurried out towards the transporter room.

“Scotty,” You turned to the Scot in front of the controls.

“Commander,” The Chief Engineer glanced up, pausing his fingers on the network of buttons and levers and all sorts of gadgets there.

“Could you comm Medical for me, and have them on standby?” You accepted your phaser with a nod of thanks at the Ensign. “Two teams should be enough. Send them down when I give them the okay.”

“Aye,” The Scot nodded, reaching for his comm on the side to do so as you ordered.

Stepping up to the transporter pad, you counted the number of security heads going with you. Ten, you counted, making eleven with you. Should be enough, you reckoned.

“Everyone ready?” You called out, stuffing your phaser away.

“Ready, Commander.”

You took a deep breath, and loosened up your tense shoulders. Whatever happened down there for no one to radio back in could only spell one word: Death.

You would do whatever it took to save your boys, and your crew. And if that meant you were going to go in guns a blazing, then so be it.

“Energize.”

When you and the team materialized on the planet, you swung your head back and forth in confusion. There were supposed to be fire starting, dinner cooking, sounds of little kids running around and chasing each other, sounds of the elderly complaining at the kids, and the rest of the adults out and about on their daily errands. It wasn’t easy as a newly found Federation colony, but the colonists worked it out after some adjustments.

“It’s quiet,” One of the lieutenants spoke from behind you after a moment.

“Let’s see what’s going on. Phasers out,” You ordered, taking yours out too. Slowly, your team descended down the small hill, and warily approached the settlement. Your eyes roamed around as far as they could, taking in the structures as you passed them. The wind blew unsteadily, and there were times you swore that there was an alien like screeching behind you.

“Commander, look!”

You whipped around, halting the team at the exclamation. You furrowed your brows at the speaker, then looked down on the sandy ground where a comm was found smashed into broken broken pieces. Looking back up, you grimaced at the implication of what it meant.

“They were being followed,” You indicated a couple set of distinct footprints on the sand, much different than the Starfleet issued boots that officers wore. Frowning down at it, you squatted down along with several others to better examine it. Carefully, you traced the prints with a finger.

“Romulans,” You spoke just loud enough for the team to hear. “Several of them too.”

The team glanced at one another, and you sighed, rubbing your temples. Straightening up, you tilted your head up high at the structure roofs. “Stick together everyone, and listen very closely. We’re going to have to have a fight on our hands.”

The next thirty minutes, you spent focusing on your task while doing your best to not let your mind wander away too much on the possibilities of where the previous team ended up. Dread curled tighter within your stomach to the point that you physically nauseous at the thought of your two boys injured, or even dead at the hands of your enemies.

It was easy to give up the control, and spiral yourself into an endless variety of worry and what ifs. You took a couple deep breaths, in and out; a technique that Leonard taught you to steady yourself. Honestly, you were glad that you listened to him when he said so-.

“Commander, did you hear that?” Someone spoke behind you, and you frowned. Opening your mouth to reply, you caught the sound yourself. It was shrill, but muffled as though something was covering the sound up. It went silent for a moment, and at first you thought it was just part of your imagination. Then, it happened again, but now less discordant.

Nodding your head towards the direction, the team headed left to investigate the sound. What you were greeted with was a nightmare beyond imagination.

Blood was splattered on the building and on the ground in front of you. Three security officers laid face down on the ground, and a landscape stained with a river of blood flowing in between the buildings on either side. Broken bodies shot dead with phaser wounds and other injuries could be seen laying in a row, executioner style. Men, and even women and children were all dead on the ground in massive pools of blood. It seemed like no one was left. Just beyond the corner though, you noticed a singed piece of blue fabric fluttering in the wind

“Double up, half of y’all scan the perimeter, 100 yards and report back here,” You barked, gulping as you approached the blue fabric. Please, please, please no, you begged, desperately wishing on any deity above that Leonard was alright. Rounding the corner with your phaser out, your eyes widened.

Leonard was tilted against the wall of the building, as though he was shielding something away from harm. There were bruises and scrapes on the visible parts of his body, but it didn't seem like he was seriously injured.

“Len? Love?” You called out, crouching down beside his head. With a shaky hand, you placed your index and middle finger together, in an attempt to find his carotid pulse. Initially, you’d panicked when you couldn’t find it, but stilled gratefully when his steady heartbeat pulsed against your fingers. Weak, but it was there.

“Dammit, Len, you scared me. What the hell am I supposed to do without you and Jim?” You muttered, beyond relieved that at least one was alive. Before you could fish out your comm, a quiet gurgle could be heard in the crook of Leonard’s arm. Curiously, you gently moved Leonard onto his back, only to find a tiny bundle held tightly against his chest.

You gasped, ignoring the sounds of your badge going off, confirming the perimeter was secured and that the three other security officers were still alive. Softly, you lifted the infant up and into your arms, gently rocking the little boy. You ducked your head once more, and brushed your lips against Leonard’s.

“Come back to me, you hear?” You whispered, nuzzling his cheek with yours. “I’ll see you back on the ship, love.”

Cooing gently, you bundled the baby tightly in your arms, and returned back to the spot where your team huddled together.

“Is that a-?”

“Yes, it’s a baby,” you interrupted the ensign. “Do me a favor, and get my comm out. Need to get a hold of the ship.”

Hastily, he did so.

“Commander Y/L/N to the Enterprise.”

“Spock, here. What’s the status?” The half vulcan answered.

“Not looking good here, Mister Spock. We found half of the team unconscious and all the colony inhabitants dead,” You explained, shifting the baby again. “There is only one survivor at the moment; an infant boy. Have one medical team be beamed down at our exact location. Tell them to not go any farther into the city.”

“Any word yet on the Captain?”

You cringed. “None for now. We’ll keep locating for them. Judging by what we’ve seen, they were followed by Romulans. Doctor McCoy has been found, but not the others.”

There was a pause. “Understood, keep us in touch, Commander. Spock out.”

You sighed, and cooed silently at the baby. One thing led to another, and now this was no longer a back up team. This was rescue, a complete 180 of what you were expecting to do.

“Ensign here, hold the kid,” You gingerly transferred the baby into the arms of a nearby Ensign. “Wait here for the medical team. They should be arriving any moment now. Get back up to the ship when they’re done. Everyone else, we’re going to find the rest of the team. Any questions?”

The team shook their head no, and with another concerned glance where Leonard laid, you took the front and led the team deeper into the colony. The warm wind howled as it twisted and turned between the buildings, and shadows lengthened as the sun slowly dipped down below the horizon.

Damn, you swore. It was bad enough that some of the team was missing, but it made the mission even more precarious as darkness enveloped the planet. You were running out of time. If you couldn’t find them with the last of the sun’s rays, it would take the team even longer to find the rest.

With the odds stacked against you, you continued as best you could, eyes and ears opened for any disturbance. Out of nowhere, beams of orange and red could be seen and shouts were heard in the distance.

With your heart dropping to your stomach, you indicated for the rest to run. The sounds of screams were good in a way, at least someone was still alive. The silence for the last couple hours was almost deafening, and there seemed to be nothing but death lingering in the air. Hopefully, you could get them out of the sticky situation, grab the Romulans, and return without any trouble. But of course, the universe had other plans in store for you.

“Shit,” You cursed, docking behind a corner as the Romulans waged an all out phaser battle. You made sure the team doubled up, and the odd number left, stayed with you. Breathing heavily, you peered around the structure, observing the Romulans from up above some of the rooftops. You scowled, turning back to your partner.

Already, you spotted some of the previous team members huddled together alongside the walls of another building across from where you were. When they finally met their gaze, they lifted their arms and gave a weak thumbs down. One indicated a body not far away from them, and drew a line across their neck with a finger.

You cursed again. One casualty already. Many more if you didn’t end this quickly.

“We have to take them out, or we’re gonna end up being sitting ducks,” You grumbled, breathing hard. Already you had accumulated some minor injuries, and the layers of sand and dust being kicked up by the fight irritated your throat making it hard to breathe at times, but you pushed on.

Scurrying into the building you were laying against earlier, you hurried up the stairs and onto the second level. Dropping onto the floor to avoid being detected, you and the lieutenant wiggled your way towards the balcony. Placing your phaser through one of the decorative holes and aiming, you squinted.

“Tell me, Lieutenant,” You spoke. “How long is the pause between each blow of the wind?”

The lieutenant hemmed and hawed for a minute. “About three minutes, Commander.”

“Count for me. When the wind kicks up, let me know. The sand will obscure our position, and I can take down more of them this way with less visibility.”

You took the silence from the Lieutenant as a sign of assent. Licking your dry, chapped lips, you patiently waited, all the while everything screamed at you to keep moving. You let out a breathy sigh, the only indication out of your features that chaos rolled within your mind.

“Now.”

As the steady wind picked once more, you aimed your phaser again at the Romulan across from you that were giving the rest of the team a hard time. With your finger on the trigger, you pressed it. Screams of pain could be heard from the other side, but you swung your phaser to another, taking the three out in succession before anyone could comprehend what was going on.

Wanting to help out, the lieutenant put up shop the same way you did, and started sniping at the romulans from those wanting to stage a surprise attack. A few phaser bolts came in your direction, forcing you to duck back down. You grunted in pain as some of them made contact with the wall you were hiding behind, wincing when a larger piece of rubble came down and smashed your other hand.

“Commander?”

“No no, keep going,” You hissed out. “Can’t afford to stop now. They’re still pinned down.”

As the screams of pain got weaker and there was less resistance from the other Romulans, you closed your eyes briefly. You’d definitely broken one of your wrist, and you were 99% sure that a phaser bolt grazed your right leg earlier, and blood was trailing down your pants.

“Ground team got the rest, Commander,” The lieutenant spoke as the rest of the team threw a thumbs up at the balcony where you laid against.

“Splendid, let’s haul our asses down and see the damage,” You weakly pushed yourself back up into a standing position. With the help of the lieutenant, you hobbled your way towards the street where the rest of the your team stood.

You looked around their faces, studying them all. Scratches there, bruises, broken bones, but miraculously everyone but one was still alive. You could thank the stars for that. You already had two casualties on the list, and it was already one too many.

“Anyone seen the Captain?” You weakly coughed out. Your heart sank deeper as everyone shook their heads, and you shook your head. “Lieutenant, comm the ship. Have the second medical team be beamed down here. I’m going to go search for Jim.”

Without waiting for an answer, you turned back towards the building once more, hoping you could get a better vantage point from up top. Squeezing your eyes shut in an attempt to get a hold of yourself from the growing pain, you opened them up to look up at the starry night.

Where are you, Jim?

A sparkle of gold from the edges of your eyes caught your attention. At the low lighting, you squinted in the direction. Visibility was low, and growing worse as the night went on. It wasn’t going to be long before a sandstorm kicked up, but you couldn’t leave Jim on his own. You couldn’t. When the moon appeared again from the clouds, you gasped out loud as you saw the moonlight bounce against his gold shirt on top of a building some distance away.

Cursing, you hurried as fast as your legs could carry you. The medical team had already beamed down, and was tending to the more critical members. Some watched as you streaked past them, and those less injured attempted to follow you.

One minute Jim was fighting close quarters with a Romulan and then the next minute, the second floor exploded, sending him several yards away. Orange red bolts of phasers repeatedly fired at both him and the rest of his ragged team. He assumed that the other half he sent away never made it back. Yet, everything sounded fuzzy to him, voices were going in and out like a broken record player. It was silent for one minute, and then loud screaming the next. They were all foreign and distant.

The blood gushing from his head and chest would attest to that. However, no matter how bad it looked, he didn’t feel pain. In fact, all he felt was utter bliss.

No. He wanted to see you and Bones again.

“Jim!” You screamed out, the same voice that soothed him on a stressful day; the very one that encouraged him on the harder nights. Arriving at where he was, you immediately knelt to the ground, desperate pushing your hands on his most critical injuries to put pressure on. “Jim? Jim, please. Open your eyes, baby.”

It was Jim. Your Jim in fact.

You just about died right then and there. Seeing Leonard was horrible already, but now this was a whole ‘nother level.

In the cool night, all the captain could think of was how beautiful your voice sounded, like the beautiful sounds of wind chimes swaying in the wind. For a moment, he imagined Bones and himself in handsome tuxedos, and you in their hands as they announced you wed in front of all your friends and family. For a moment, he let himself be content.

“Hey doll,” Jim opened his eyes, instantly grinning at the sight of you. You were pretty in gold, he had always mentioned to you. That you were just as pretty as a wickedly gold star in the night sky. To him, you were his angel in gold. “You came for me.”

“Hey J,” You choked up, briefly pressing your comm badge to alert medical to get their ass up. “It’s not looking good though. You’re bleeding everywhere. And oh god, Len-Leonard isn’t doing too good either. Does it hurt?”

You felt stupid though. This was your first time comforting someone on the brink of death and all you could offer was if they were in pain. You weren’t a medic, and certainly didn’t have anything on you that could ease the pain.

“Not anymore,” Jim smiled up at you, weakly bringing his hand up to your cheek. Automatically, you obliged him, nuzzling your cheek on his bloodied hand. “So beautiful, my beautiful star, my gold angel.”

For a moment, you let yourself smile. It was a familiar gesture that was between only you and Jim. It meant that he was okay, that you were okay. It broke your heart at the sight of his comforting hands. He was trying his best to console you, even though you were supposed to be the one doing it to him.

“I love space. I love the planets. I love the new things, but nothing can compare to me loving you and Bones,” he whispered, a slight slur in his speech now. He gazed at you with the utmost adoration and love you had ever seen from him. “You and Bones are my love, and I love you all so so much.”

Then it hit you why he was saying all this now. This was his goodbye.

Anxiety hit you like a semi truck, as you drew in a shaky breath. You knew it was bad, you knew that by the time the Enterprise could beam him up and rush him down to Medbay, it would be far too long to save him. Still you held onto hope. “Listen J, you are not dying on me and Leonard, okay? Hold on a little longer, and-and we can go find a priest or whatever and legally wed us, do you hear me?”

“Okay, Y/N,” He spoke, giving you his signature shit eating grin. You released a deep sob, nowhere near as happy as Jim was at the moment. This couldn’t be happening at the moment. This was the famous Captain James T Kirk of the goddamn USS Enterprise that took no shit from others, and believed in going out and doing right. “Doll?”

You raised your head a fraction upwards, meeting his baby blue eyes. His smile was gone, and all that was left was seriousness in those eyes. You had a feeling you knew what was going on. Intuition yelled at you to do something, anything to get him back onto the ship, but you could hardly move your limbs, let alone have the thought of moving him anywhere. Your eyes were glued to his gaze.

“I have one more wish.”

You shakily nodded at his request. The snot and your tears mixed with one another, and you hastily wiped them away as best as you could. “Of course, J, anything you want.”

“Close your eyes, Y/N. Tell me about the date again one last time.”

Each syllable destroyed what remained of the shattered pieces of your heart. That was his one last wish, his very last memory and he wanted to spend it with you in his final moments. And honestly, who were you to deny such a thing to him?

“Yes, Jim. Of course, anything for you.”

Drawing yet another shaky breath in, you slowly laid down next to his body, despite the fact that the warm blood stained your entire body and hair. With a flip of your uninjured wrist, you opened up your comm, wedged it between your bodies, and closed your eyes as requested. Sooner or later, Nyota would catch on that this needed to be transmitted ship wide.

“Alright Jim,” You gulped. “We were at the carnival back on Earth during one of the few shore leaves we had. It was getting dark, but you pulled your pout at the operator of the ferris wheel, begging him to let all three of us get on it one last time before the park closed. Eventually, he let us ride it again, but the time was halved. You didn’t care, Len didn’t look too happy at you at the thought of being stuck on the ride again. But we rode it. At the top, you pointed out the different constellations, the various other Federation planets, and the Spacedock where the ship was docked, wheeling around the planet.”

An audible gasp could be heard from your comm, but you ignored it. Some came from the stairs too, but you concentrated on your story as best as you could.

“It was then that you said you were ready to settle down. Find an officiant to wed us together, and we’d be happy forevermore. You said that all you needed was me and Bones, and that that was enough in your life. You had your captaincy, your ship, your crew, and us. You said that even if Starfleet took away everything, at the very least you still had me and Bones. Then afterwards, you took a couple photos of all of us together with the night sky in the background, and soon we were going back down again. Len called you a sap, and grumbled that he would never put up with your antics ever again. We all knew that was a lie though,” You trailed off at the end. Jim couldn’t help but smile at your words. Slowly, he closed his eyes, as the lights disappeared.

Once his breathing completely stopped, you tightly held his cold, still hands in a futile attempt to ground yourself one more time before you let go of consciousness.

“Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise, aged 28, lost his life in a fight against the Romulans.”

After that, you passed out beside him, letting the darkness overwhelm you.

Beep.

A rather annoying heart monitor beeped alongside your heart, and you weakly opened your eyes to the grey and white ceiling above. For a moment, you laid there in confusion. Why were you in Medbay this time?

Then everything hit you all over again. You groaned at the thoughts, of seeing Jim’s broken body, of talking to him one last time. Your heart rate jumped as the memories endlessly cycled.

“Easy there, Captain,” A face leaned into your eyesight, blocking the harsh overhead light. For a split second, you thought it was Leonard that was speaking to you. Then frowned in confusion as Leonard stopped calling you by your rank unless it was for something official.

“Doctor M’Benga,” You managed out, wincing at your desert like scratchy throat. “Where is Leonard?”

The doctor nodded to the bed beside yours, and you followed his gaze. Leonard laid on the biobed, looking peaceful as ever. For once, you were glad that he didn’t know yet. It was going to be a painful conversation when it did happen.

“Leonard is alright, in much better condition than you are,” The doctor regained your attention. “Slight touch and go for a little while there with you. Couple of broken bones that still need a couple passes with the osteo generator, and a couple times with the dermal regen is what you need left.”

“Does he know yet?” You asked, voice trembling once more.

“No, not yet, and it is best to keep it that way until both you and Leonard are in better physical condition,” The doctor shook his head. “He should be waking up soon though. Get some rest, Y/N.”

You frowned, and immediately put up a fuss about going back to sleep. You wanted to stay up, and wait for Leonard so he could be the first thing you saw. Apparently M’Benga disagreed with you, and eventually sedated you back under, claiming that there were enough injuries to heal and didn’t need more emotional ones to add onto it.

M’Benga was right though.

Soon, Leonard was up after an hour or two after you were sedated. Groaning, he opened his eyes, and sat up.

“Good to see you too, Leonard,” M’Benga moved over to Leonard, face impassive.

“Geoff,” Leonard greeted, laying back down on the biobed. “What happened? Where’s the baby and Jim and Y/N?”

Geoff grinned wryly at the other doctor, handing Leonard a glass of water. “Y/N beamed down with a rescue team, found you and the rest, and got you all beamed back onto the ship. As for the baby, he’s with Christine at the moment. The Captain is in another room, and Y/N was just sedated again right there.”

Lying in front of his superior was something he disliked doing, but for the meantime it was necessary. After all, it was still correct in a sense.

“Doesn’t look so good,” Leonard replied, observing you from his biobed as you peacefully slept. “What happened there?”

“A phaser battle presumably,” One side of the attending physician’s mouth twitched. “Y/N was up before you, and wanted to stay up to speak with you.”

“So naturally Y/N made a fuss about it,” Leonard rolled his eyes, but felt the warmth that you were willing to wait for him.

“Yes. Leonard you’ve got a mild concussion,” Geoff hurried onward. “Other than that, if no other complication arises, you should be cleared to leave the next time you wake up. Get some rest, Leonard. I’ll handle everything for the meantime.”

“Thanks Geoff.”

Couple hours passed before you woke up once more, looking even more exhausted than before. Geoff greeted you again with a faint smile, and had Christine speak with you while she ran the dermal regen on your more superficial cuts.

“-And then it all just happened at once,” You mumbled, laying back on the biobed as though you’d exhausted all your energy.

“It’ll be eventually alright,” Chris assured you.

“I still got so much to do, and I’m afraid of taking up command and breaking down. You know the regulation-.”

“Hey sweetheart,” A familiar southern gravelly voice interrupted you from the bed beside.

“Len!” You brightened up, silently thanking the stars above that Leonard was alive and well. Slightly injured, but alive at the very least. You wouldn’t know if he couldn’t make it as well.

“Thank god you're awake, sugar,” Leonard grinned. “Heard you gave Geoff a hard time.”

You turned red, and blushed. Turning away from him, you kept your gaze on Christine’s work.

Geoff chuckled as he strode over. “Good to see the both of you more coherent.”

“Doctor M’Benga.”

“Geoff.”

“In this case, Leonard you’re free to leave whenever you’re ready,” The doctor then turned to you. “Y/N, once Chris gives you the thumbs up, you can leave also. I’ll have you scheduled with Leonard in three days for a follow up on your femur and wrist.” He gave you a nod, and a brief sad smile.

“I’ll wait, and take Y/N back to our quarters.”

You nodded at what Doctor M’Benga was mentioning at, and heaved a deep breath in. Oh boy.

“Fortunately Leonard, the baby boy that we found,” The rest of M’Benga’s words were drowned out by you as you focused on the pale pink skin on one of your cuts. Jim’s lips were pink too, and soft, and pretty much everything you needed. Now, you didn't know what to do with yourself.

“Alright, Y/N, you’re good to leave with Doctor McCoy,” Chris finally straightened, wrenching you out of your thoughts. “I’ll see you back here in three days, you hear?”

“Thanks, Chris.”

“You know Nyota and I will be here if you need a shoulder,” Chris gave you her knowing look, another sad smile on her face.

“Come on, sweetheart, let’s go home,” Leonard took your hand firmly in his grasp, and led you back to your shared quarters.

“Len?” You mumbled on the bed, cuddling him. It was two days since you were down on the planet. There wasn’t any chance since then for you to cry it out, and Leonard still didn’t know.

“Hmm?”

“I-I want to speak to you about something important,” You pushed yourself up, wincing at the added pressure on your newly healed wrist.

“What is it, sweetheart? Can it not wait for tomorrow?” Leonard sat up also, holding you close against his bare chest.

You shook your head no.

“It’s about Jim, love.”

“What about him?” The doctor quietly rumbled. “Geoff told me that he’s fine, and stable. A slight touch and go with the extent of his injuries, but we can go see him tomorrow.”

"Leonard,” You twisted around to properly face him, and caught his gaze.

“Jim is dead.”

Later, you and Leonard insisted on seeing Jim. Volunteering himself, Spock had stayed by your side as he walked up towards the small line of silver body bags. Your hands clung to the edge of the table with white knuckles as the half Vulcan unzipped the bag slowly.

You bit the bottom of your lip as you let Leonard approach Jim first, wiping your tears away. Tearing your gaze away, you settled your tearful gaze on Spock instead. You knew that despite his stoic face, his gaze had softened a fraction from his usual rock hard sharpness. The broadcast was transmitted ship wide during a brief red alert, you'd learned afterwards, which meant all 465 crew members heard it all.

The Bridge and the senior crew were all too close to him. Nyota, you, Spock, Len, Sulu, Chekov, Scotty, everyone was affected in some way or manner. He was liked, and easy going. Everyone liked him. You could imagine Sulu holing up with his plants, Nyota crying in her quarters and Spock comforting her the best he could, and both Scotty and Chekov almost drinking their stash dry.

“Y/N,” Leonard hoarsely beckoned you over.

“Hey J,” You croaked out, placing a gentle kiss on Jim’s forehead. “I love you, so so much.”

The letters had been Leonard’s idea. One from Leonard to you, another one from Jim to you, and the same with Jim. Leonard. Letters written in the event that in the event that one of you died, there would be final words in hopes of giving comfort to the others. Just like your will, you, len, and Jim would update it from time to time, always hoping that there would never be a need to open them.

After speaking to Spock that you and Leonard would be taking the next day off, Len guided you out and slowly made your way back to your shared quarters. Leonard was a seasoned doctor, patients’ deaths weren't new to him. But to a loved one? He only felt cold and empty within, colder than he had ever experienced.

You brought out three glasses from the kitchen, while Leonard popped open a new bottle of bourbon. With a nod from you, he poured a generous amount to each glass. You reached out for your glass, and paused. Sliding your gaze up to him, down to the third glass, and back up to Leonard’s puffy hazel eyes, he nodded in understanding.

You both clinked the third glass, then to each other before tipping the glass upside down. You were on your fourth glass of booze before you even remotely remembered the letters inside the drawers.

“Sh-should we then?” You nodded your head towards the drawers.

Leonard’s gaze sharply brought back to your tired ones. He nodded.

With a huff, you slid out of your chair, and strode over to them. Rubbing your eyes again for the hundredth time or so, you slid out the bottomest drawer where Jim’s clothes were stacked neatly on top of each other. You’d remembered, as it was your turn to do laundry, and it was only you who would fold Jim’s socks that nicely. Pushing them away, your hands trembled as you gingerly took out the two letters. There was one more underneath, but it wasn’t for you or Leonard. Letting out an unsteady breath, you sat back down in your seat, giving Leonard’s his.

Y/N.

You stared at his gold ink lettering, and reluctantly turned it over. Breaking the seal on it, you carefully peeled it open. Pulling the sheet out, you were surprised when two photos tumbled out onto the dining table. Curiously, you flipped one over and smiled despite your tears.

You and Jim were skating on an ice rink. You were bundled up from head to toe and falling over. Jim was half turned to you in the middle of a laugh, while you were in the middle of falling. You hated the photo so much, and you remembered how much your hips hurt after that time on the open rink. He loved it though.

You sniffled, and felt your tears well up again when you turned your attention onto the second picture. It was you, Len, and Jim on the ferris wheel, the same story that you had spoken to him on his final minutes up on that roof.

Whimpering, you tore your eyes away to look over at Leonard. He too wasn’t doing so well either. Setting the photo aside, he turned his attention to the letter now. Your tears streaked down your face and dripped constantly onto the table as you read.

Hey Y/N,

If you are reading this, then I guess this is it.

You’re sad and frustrated, I know. Sometimes I feel like I can read you more than I can ever understand myself. Whether it’s twenty, thirty, forty years before we’re united again, I can’t wait. But don’t rush back to me. Live your life the way it ought to be lived. Become the next Captain, have a life, and settle down with Bones when it comes time. My biggest regret in life is that it was so short, and cut off right at the time where I wanted to live through the most. Bones once told me that love was harsh, and unforgiving. When I met you though, you blasted that all away in a heartbeat. However, I’m not afraid of what life would be like without you, but what your life without me.

I’ll never forget the memories that we shared together. The first hug, the first kiss, the first time all three of us enjoyed ourselves on shore leave, and the time we spent together on the ship. I’m glad that Nyota finally pushed me into getting to know you better.

Take care of Bones, take care of yourself, take care of each other, and please take care of mom for me. She’s already lost dad, and it’ll be even harder when she learns that I’m gone too. I’ll be up above, watching over everyone. I’m not gone completely. You have memories of me, and my love in your heart. One day, it’ll all be okay. There are so many people in our lives that care about you and Bones. Let them heal you please.

I love you and Bones, simple as that. Words can’t describe my love for you. Keep your head up high and make me proud, Captain Y/L/N.

Love and forever yours,

Jimmy Boy

Bam!

Startled, you let the letter flutter down, only to find Leonard roughly slamming his glass down on the table. You heard a whimper, and you honestly didn’t know if it was coming from you or him.

“One more?” You managed out, wiping the tears away with the back of your hand again.

The doctor filled both glasses again with bourbon, and smiled tearfully at you.

“To Jim.”

Leonard, Winona, and you were dressed in black as you held each other, watching as Jim’s casket was lowered into the ground on Earth. As a Captain, he was given full honors and rights and a minute of silence was held. You and Leonard wrote the eulogy together, and the senior crew took turns upon the podium to tell their tales of the wonderful Captain Kirk. When they were done, you sobbed into Leonard’s chest as one of the Admiral stood up and concluded the funeral.

You were made Captain of the Enterprise after a month into the three months shore leave. You were grateful for Starfleet giving you time to grieve for Jim’s loss. It was eventually going to be exciting, but without Jim by your side, you didn’t know if it was possible.

Laying on Jim’s childhood bed in Iowa, Leonard cuddled you. You let out a sigh, and looked out the window and at the stars above. It was new, not having the rambunctious captain to not be poking out from a corner, and teasing you. Gradually as time went on though, you expected less of his appearances.

“Could I get you two anything to drink?” Jim’s mom called from the door.

“We’re all good here, mom. Thanks,” You called out, glancing up at Leonard.

It only made sense to call Winona as mom since you were going to marry her son. She needed the warmth of a family, now that both of her husband and son were gone. You and Leonard were more than happy to step in. Jim would have wanted you to.

“Alright, yell if you want anything,” Winona left. You listened as her footsteps padded away from the door, and relaxed back into the embrace.

“Will we be okay?” You asked in the silence.

“Yes, sweetheart,” Leonard spoke quietly, but his voice was distant as though he had something else in mind.

He was a doctor. He was trained to look for patterns, and he excelled in that. Something else was gnawing at him, and it troubled him. He wanted to speak to you about it, but he knew that it wouldn’t dissuade you.

Christopher Pike, blonde hair, blue eyes, Admiral, dead.

George Kirk, blonde hair, blue eyes, First Officer, dead.

James Kirk, blonde hair, blue eyes, Captain, dead.

Y/N Y/L/N, blonde hair, blue eyes, Captain.

Star Trek Tags: @mournthewicked (Enjoy your day off!) Join the taglist!

Thanks for reading! If you want to read some fluffy fics to ease up from this sobfest, my masterlist is here. Or better yet, send in a request! (Always looking for ideas)

#ugh #cried while typing this #was almost too much #god damn mckirk and reader are going to have a beautiful piece #mckirk x reader #jim kirk x leonard mccoy x reader #leonard mccoy x reader #bones x reader #jim kirk x reader #jim kirk #leonard mccoy #leonard bones mccoy #star trek #star trek aos #deb writes #aimeesfirstwc

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pagesofivy · 5 years ago

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Ball of Memories

Prompt: Commission by @theweepingvulcan91 for Kirk x Vulcan!Reader (Spock’s Sister)

Jim is very tactile, especially knowing how much it means for a Vulcan partner, maybe some way there’d be a kiss to the ear to get the reader to blush, in a formal setting being very subtly inappropriate with their partner

Warnings: FLUFF!! Also, this is a Star Trek fic, so if ST isn’t your bag of chips, hop off the train.

Beta: @sheinthatfandom

Word Count: 1927

Tagging: @meganwinchester1999 @calmjoon @winchester-with-wings @mrswhozeewhatsis @myfand0msandm0re @feelmyroarrrr @quilliamfears @danijimenezv @mogaruke @aikibriarrose @sea040561 @becs-bunker @letsdisneythings @gone-to-fight-the-fairies @autoblocked @ashengem @mysticalhood-main @haven-in-writing @emoryhemsworth @sassy-losechester

Find it on AO3 here

As you get ready for your evening with Jim and the people of Starfleet, you look back on your relationship with the captain, a fond feeling settling over you as you remember how courting Jim Kirk took far more time than most would expect.

Upon your first meeting, you knew you desired him, and you thought he had felt something similar. However, as soon as your brother Spock stepped up to welcome you to the Enterprise, Jim had stepped back and become almost coldly professional, far more distant with you than with any other crew member on the ship.

Though you knew immediately what you felt for him, Jim was hesitant to admit or try anything. Your human emotions stung- at first, you thought he was outright rejecting you and didn’t want you, something you had never dealt with. Despite being half-human, you had still been desirable to many of the Vulcans on your home planet, and many had tried to connect with you on multiple levels. Determined not to let Jim’s dismissal of you ruin your much-anticipated time on the Enterprise, you did your best to shut off any feelings except respect for the captain, and went about your duties, ignoring how your heart quickened around him. After accepting that your feelings were not reciprocated, you took a different route and pushed to be friends, wanting a similar connection that he shared with your brother, wanting anything more than the coldness he regarded you with at that moment.

Slowly, after much pushing and coaxing, Jim warmed up to you considerably, though there was still a sense of him holding something back. You refused to let that discourage you from your friendship with the captain though, content with the progress you had made. Friendship was the first step in a long road you hadn’t even thought of starting down.

~~~~

One shore-leave night, a few years after first deploying with the Enterprise, you put your responsibilities on hold for the next few days and allowed yourself to get a little too inebriated. Spock would have been ashamed, had he seen, but he wasn’t around, and you didn’t care. At least, not while this drunk.

You still had control over your body, able to walk in a… fairly straight line, and weren’t stumbling around, though your inhibitions were down and emotions running more freely than usual. You desperately began searching for your captain, your Jim, needing to see him, your pent-up feelings for him coming to the surface an an inescapable bubbling-over. You found him strolling along a path in a nearby garden, and you nearly swooned. He looked so perfect, hair highlighted by the moonlight, and you paused a moment to admire him, only to have your location revealed by a nasty stick that broke when you accidentally stepped on it.

Jim turned and spotted you, looking surprised only a moment before smiling hesitantly. “(Y/N), what brings you out here this late at night?” He asked, friendly. You had the sudden urge to run away, but you quelled it, instead taking a bold step towards him.

“Jim, I’ve come to tell you something, something important that you may already know, but it still needs said.” Your words were surprisingly clear and not slurred, and it emboldened you even more. Jim, for his part, looked concerned and even more guarded.

“What is it (Y/N)?” His words were slow, cautious, and damn him, his responsibility made him all the more attractive.

“Jim, I believe I am, as you humans say, in love. With you. I’ve been infatuated with you for quite some time, and I think over that time it grew into love. And it pains me occasionally that you only see me as a fellow crew-member. I do my best to ignore these emotions, to follow in Spock’s steps and repress the humanity inside me, but I am not as strong as my brother, nor do I wish to be. I like embracing the human part of me. I can accept tomorrow going back to friends, or even simply a captain and a member of his crew if that is what you deem appropriate, but tonight, I needed to admit to these feelings plaguing me.” With a definitive nod, you felt your body relax, your biggest secret finally revealed.

Looking at Jim, it was hard to read the emotions on his face. Really, it was hard to see any emotions on his face; he looked pretty much like a blank slate, which was rather frustrating. In the cool air, your buzz from the alcohol quickly started to fade, allowing embarrassment and shame to creep in. “Forgive me Jim, I overstepped my boundaries. I believe I will return to my quarters.” You started walking away, wanting nothing more than to escape, but Jim’s firm tone stops you:

“Stop (Y/N).” His voice was firm, an order, and while you wanted to just continue moving, disobey, you knew that facing him now would be less painful than facing him back on the ship. With a fortifying breath, you turn around, head held high, deciding to face the mess you’d created straight-on.

Jim sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, looking conflicted and sounding frustrated. “(Y/N) I… I appreciate you coming to me with your feelings. I feel for you something more than friendship or camaraderie, but… You’re Spock’s sister, I’m not sure… I’m not sure that’s a line I can cross. Your brother’s friendship is important to me, and I don’t want to upset him. As much as I care for you, I’m not comfortable moving forward without his permission…. As archaic as that sounds.” He cringed when he said the word “permission” and you understood a whole lot about your interactions with him from his confession.

You took a minute to process his words, then nodded resolutely. “Of course Jim, I understand. Thank you for letting me know that my feelings are at least partially reciprocated. If you feel comfortable broaching the subject with my brother, please do so, but do not feel obligated. We shall resume life as normal tomorrow.” Your words are a bit stiff, but the idea of getting your brother’s permission to pursue Jim is uncomfortable; you love Spock, but he doesn’t fully understand your desire for the type of connection that courting someone brings, and with Jim of all people - illogical, wild Jim - he wouldn’t be too happy about your choice of lover either. Kirk looked like he wanted to say more, but you bid him goodnight and walked back to the small apartment you’d been assigned for the leave.

~~~~

You shake yourself from your reverie and you’re back in your shared quarters, preparing for the gala. Jim’s somewhere else, probably dealing with a last-minute crisis, so you’re alone getting ready, which is something of a relief. The dress that hangs on the back of the closet door is daunting, beautiful in a way that you feel you don’t match. Jim bought you the dress though, because you’d fallen in love when trying it on, and he is not in the practice of denying you things you want, as much as he is able.

You shower and do your makeup, something simple that you learned from one of the crew members specifically for this event. Staring at the dress, you take a fortifying breath before deciding to brave putting it on. Just as when you first tried it on, it fits your body perfectly, and, taking in your appearance, you almost don’t recognize yourself- your ears are a reminder though, of who you are, where you come from, and your differences. Half-Vulcan, half-human, toeing the line.

Before your thoughts can go any further, there’s a knock at your door and once you give the all-clear, Jim pops his head in, letting out a low whistle of appreciation when he sees you in your full gala attire.

“Damn (Y/N), you’re more stunning in that than I remember. I might have to fight some men tonight,” Jim says, walking fully into the room, and it’s all you can do to keep a straight face.

“Jim, don’t you dare fight anyone, especially over me.” You scold, but Jim just smirks and winks before walking to the closet to get himself ready for the event.

“I make no promises my dear, but I’ll be on my best behavior. Your brother wouldn’t let me cause too much trouble anyway.” Jim’s teasing helps you relax a bit, and you admire him as he gets dressed in his suit, looking dapper as always. With him by your side, you just might be able to conquer the gala.

~~~~

This shore leave is less relaxation and more, as Jim calls it, schmoozing with the important people of Starfleet, trying to drum up funding for further exploratory efforts. It’s your first time in a long time being at a formalwear event, and you’re a bit self-conscious. You remind yourself not to tug at your dress or fiddle with your jewelry, because you refuse to seem unsure in front of others. After years of teasing for being half-human and half-Vulcan, you’ve learned a thing or two about interacting with people, and how they often sniff out weaknesses before trying to truly be friendly.

Sitting at a table alongside Jim is the saving grace of the gala, where everyone seems to be uptight and overly-formal. It is uncomfortable how often you’re getting stared at, especially with Jim by your side, and you notice the whispers being exchanged. Jim must notice too, because as a slow song comes on, and pairs rise from their chairs, converging on the dance floor in close couplings, Jim smiles and stands, then holds his hand out to you, an invitation to dance. When you accept and stand gracefully from your seat, he runs his thumb along your knuckles, a gentle caress that sends chills along your skin. Jim holds you at a respectable distance, not too far but also not inappropriately close, as you two sway together. It’s calming and comforting, being like this with Jim, when everything is usually chaotic.

Jim is basically cheek-to-cheek with you, just briefly, but it’s enough to heat up your entire body, out of both embarrassment and arousal, and you have to stifle a moan when he presses a soft kiss to your ear before he takes a step back, returning to that respectable distance you started at. He’s smirking, looking proud as he takes in your reaction, and he winks.

“Don’t worry darlin’, nobody saw, except maybe your brother. As much as he respects us being together, he’s worried I’m gonna do something to harm you.” Jim scoffs at the idea and you smile softly at him, reaching up and stroking his cheek.

“I’m his sister, and he and I have been through a lot, Jim. He loves you and knows you won’t cause me harm on purpose. He’s more worried I’ll cause trouble, or you’ll incite an incident.” Returning your hand to his arm, you give it a squeeze and wink back at him, teasing.

“The only incidents I’ll incite, dear, are ones involving you and some private one-on-one time.” His comment can be easily construed as lewd, but you know better, know he simply means time together and away from the prying eyes of your brother and the rest of the fleet.

“One-on-one time seems to be exactly what the doctor ordered.” You tease back, and Jim lifts your hand to kiss the tips of your fingers.

#jim kirk x reader #Jim Kirk x vulcan!reader #vulcan!reader #star trek #star trek fic #jim kirk fic #commissioned fic #commissions #twx writes #twx fanfiction #twx fanfic #star trek: tos #star trek: aos

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thedreamsmith · 4 years ago

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How (Not) to Seduce a Blueshirt (Chapter 3)

@atc74 @alleiradayne @arrowsandmixtapes @captain-s-rogers for #OC appreciation day 2020

Warnings: Swearing, mild sexual sitation

Pairing: Jim Kirk x OFC

Chapter summary: Jim grows a pair.

The halls were quiet the next morning, Alpha shift had barely begun as Jim strode down the halls of the Enterprise. The usual bounce in his step was damped by the task ahead of him. Generally, all it took for the infamous Captain Kirk to secure a date was a crooked smile and a smouldering look, but here he felt that neither of those would be of any help to him.

The doors to the menagerie slid open without a sound but the bespectacled veterinary officer glanced up at him as he stepped into the main exam room. Jim searched his memory for the name of Reyne’s co-worker. Doctor...Anderson?

Yes, Anderson sounded right. It wasn’t his fault that usually whenever he was about, Doctor Lyall was also there with that arresting gaze and hourglass figure.

‘Can I help you, Captain?’ Doctor Anderson straightened, grimacing as he stretched out a kink in his back. There was a vial of vivid blue liquid on the table in front of him, and the sight of it made him shudder involuntarily. He had a sneaking suspicion that it had belonged to the Lethian rat. Jim rubbed the faint scar on his hand subconsciously.

‘I was looking for Doctor Lyall. I was told that she was on Alpha shift today.’

He felt decidedly bare as the veterinary officer raised his eyebrows, and he reminded himself that for all Starfleet’s scientific breakthroughs, mindreading was not one of them. His mission remained a secret. He hoped.

‘She’s in the aviary at the moment.’ Doctor Anderson tipped his head to a door at the far end of the room. ‘I’ll go get her for you.’

As the shorter man disappeared through the aviary door, Jim eyed the venom on the desk. His curiosity made him desperate to examine it, to skim over the documents sitting next to it as well. The notes were on old-fashioned paper instead of a PADD and bore the neat, looping handwriting that he knew belonged to Reyne.

Only the memory of Bone’s lecture about touching things that he had no business touching stopped him. Sometimes the cure was worse than the disease, he’d discovered; especially when the cure involved admitting to Bones that he touched the thing he had told him not to.

Jim’s moral dilemma was cut short as the aviary door swung open once more. Reyne brushed a few stray feathers from her science blues as she headed towards him.

‘Murray said you wanted to speak to me?’ A wry smile twisted her mouth as she took note of the flush creeping up from beneath his shirt. ‘Why don’t we talk in my office?’

Jim just nodded mutely and followed the dark-haired woman into a small room tucked into the back of the menagerie. The space was filled by two desks piled high with PADDs and stacks of real paper.

Reyne threw herself into one of the chairs and regarded him with those startling eyes.

‘Is this about the creatures you’ve been releasing onto the bridge?’

The way his eyes widened a fraction told her everything she needed to know about the ‘accidental’ incidents on the bridge, just as she was sure that Commander Spock’s information would further corroborate the evidence.

‘No.’ The captain was making a valiant effort at keeping his composure, although the faint sheen of moisture on his forehead belied the fact that he was sweating like a green cadet at their first disciplinary meeting. It was nice to see the golden Captain James T Kirk squirm for once. ‘I was wondering if you’d like to go out for dinner with me during shore leave next week.’

Reyne’s eyebrows shot up. Well she hasn’t been expecting that.

Now it was her turn to flush; though she would later blame it on Murray fiddling with the thermostat, even though the ship’s computer kept the menagerie at a constant temperate.

Reyne made herself hold her tongue; an overeager yes would do nothing good for Jim’s ego. Besides, there was also the implications of dating her superior to consider. Not that Captain Kirk seemed like the type to ruin her career for turning him down.

She rearranged a stack of PADDs before meeting those damnably blue eyes. Surprise hit her when she saw that there was none of the cocky, flirtatious man she had come to expect in his expression. The Jim Kirk before her was bare, gazing at her with such raw hope that she was momentarily at a loss for words.

‘I’d like that.’

It was almost comical how Jim visibly sagged with relief, his eyes lighting up as he gave her a crooked grin.

‘Great, how does Tuesday at 8pm in the main plaza sound? There’s this fantastic little place that Scotty and I went to last time we docked at Yorktown. Their steak is excellent.’

Reyne couldn’t help but return his grin. The man was like a puppy – all bouncing exuberance and unshakable optimism. She had to refrain from check to see if he had a tail that was wagging.

‘I’ll be there.’

With a pleased nod and a final grin, Jim turned to leave the office, giving a jaunty wave to Murray on his way out. Nope, definitely no wagging tail but from her vantage point she had a truly spectacular view of the Captain’s ass.

Her co-worker waited all of five seconds after Jim had left the menagerie to pop his head round the door of their shared office.

‘I take it the captain finally found the balls to ask you out then?’ Murray’s eyes glinted with wicked delight behind his thick glasses.

‘Wait what?’ Reyne jerked her head up to glare at her friend. ‘How did you know?’

Murray snorted and strode over to his desk, shifting a stack of paper from his chair.

‘Ree, everyone on the ship knows that the captain has been pining after you for months. There’s a betting pool on when he would finally grow a pair and make a move. Michael and Stephen owe me 50 credits each – most of the medbay bet that he’d get drunkenly confess his feelings for you during shore leave.’

Murray’s smug grin only got wider as she gaped at him.

‘Seriously?’ Reyne fought back the urge to throw something at him. ‘I need to have a word with Doctor McCoy about keeping his nurses in line.’

‘He put the most into the medbay pool. Cookie?’

‘Those are mine!’ Murray just shrugged and popped the biscuit into his mouth.

‘I’ll buy you more; your love life has made me a lot of credits.’

Reyne sank further into her chair and stifled the urge to strangle her co-workers. But even this couldn’t dampen the bubbly feeling in her chest. The one that certainly didn’t have anything to do with one Captain James T Kirk.

Jim was above doing a victory dance. Really, he was. But that didn’t quite diminish the bounce in his step as he made his way to the medbay. Bones was gonna love this.

#oc's are people too #oc appreciation day 2020 #star trek #jim kirk #jim kirk x oc #spock #bones #ofc #fanfic

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paramounticebound · 5 years ago

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Send me a symbol for five times... || ☪: five times our muses almost hold hands, and the one time they do || @fasciinating || accepting.

i. The first time is when his mouth is metallic, slurring the language of savagery over a molten tongue. He spit-swallows venom, a dark cloud among the crew. Implosion is likely. The collision course for reprieve is an abandoned corridor, where fist meets steel. He doesn’t notice the other, not with an imprint of his knuckles reverberating through his teeth, but the first officer needs his attention. Something’s come up. Spock almost grasps his free hand to snap him out of his storm, deciding that the sensation of skin could resolve him–

Sometimes it really is better to let a sleepwalker stay asleep.

ii. The second time is when the lights of the bridge illuminate him just enough to call him a ghost. Ghost and shadow. He’s a statue immutable, angular features sharp, highlighted beneath pale, flickering lights. He’s not alone, but he may as well be solitary, haunting the halls of the Enterprise even when night isn’t so readily defined. Spock’s not entirely certain what motivates him, or what wants to. The captain’s fingers are laced at the small of his back, and Spock admits that he wonders what it would take to break that hold. He perishes the thought, leaves the ghost to haunt his halls.

iii. Three thoughts manifest after the chaos. It’s not where Spock wants to be– Khan seems to be a natural– he’d never witnessed the captain falling apart. The Ceta Alpha V colony had also come in threes– first a message, then a home, and now a graveyard. Khan is in ruins, and he is a graveyard. This is not the first that Spock finds the human in him, hunched over the convulsing remains of his oldest friend, but it is the most visceral. He’s lost more than a crew member, he’s lost a brother. Tears ruin the blood on his face, pooling onto Joachim’s chest, as if that might bring him back. Spock almost reaches out to him, almost brushes his fingers against the quivering confession of his– and then decides against it.

He suffers alone because that is the grave he digs; he’ll eat the dirt.

iv. Four days, and Khan hasn’t slept. Screams and fire, the beautiful destruction left in its wake, how easily flesh melts away: his skull is a necropolis. It’s been a year to the day, and all of the mandatory counseling and mission prep hasn’t done a thing. It’s time for a new rotation, at least a few, and he needs his bravest face– it just isn’t there.

Night isn’t really night in the depths of space, yet everyone needs structure, something to find normalcy in, something stable.

Khan doesn’t think he’s ever been stable, not entirely.

Wandering the base has become an easy habit, and if his bed is the next best thing, it’s also become an easy companion. The only soul that dares to notice him is Spock, became he’s not afraid of the iron-hearted captain, the whirlwind about him, curing rage with broken and bruised knuckles. He ought to ask why there are two phantoms crowding the corridor; questions are dangerous and he’d rather not slice himself open for all of his demons to pour out.

It’s not like Spock doesn’t know.

Instead their voices retreat into the tresses, two silent specters staring into the infinite unknown. Khan thinks to take the other’s hand, to thank him– he vanquishes the thought before it becomes tangible.

v. Five minutes until stasis. Five minutes and Dr. Marcus will stop talking. Five minutes and he can pretend that everything about this mission isn’t somehow off, somehow digging under his skin, a warning that resonates so deeply inside of him that it physically makes him sick. Khan longs to believe that his fear is rooted in uncertainty and instinct, rather than the illogical dread that digs razor-sharp talons in, deep into the center of him. He knows that nothing will happen because it never has; nightmares are like that, he thinks. Like shadows, eternally trailing, without substance.

The captain is always the last one to sleep. His duty is to protect his crew, from afar, from the last-minute preparations as they already float. The Enterprise is too small, too claustrophobic for eternal avoidance, but it’s something to quell the thrum of war drums in his chest. Anxiety swells in his throat, burns his gut when it’s swallowed down. It’s been seven minutes.

Marcus, Chekov, Rand, Sulu, Scott, Uhura, Chapel, he pauses over Alkaev, Kirk, McCoy. Two empty chambers. He thinks he’s still, far from quivering, reminding himself that he doesn’t need to say goodbye.

Are you alright, Captain?

Of course. I am and I must always be.

If that were true, he wouldn’t have nearly reached out amid the silent comfort of the other, close enough for atoms to react in a bought of friction

– it’s been ten minutes, and they both enter the chambers.

vi. Sixth time is the charm. Khan watches the lights in the medbay flicker above him, staring idly into them as if they might heal him faster. This time it is his fault– he brings danger and breathes ruin.

He wants to blame the ship, he wants to blame Marcus– he wants to tear both apart. The hallucinations are becoming worse. The shadows, the slithering vines of violence, decaying darkness, the stench of rot permanently at the back of his throat. At least this time, he knows the pain is a mild concussion. An eternity of concussions were preferable to another moment on the Event Horizon.

It was his fault.

There hadn’t been a choice. There still isn’t.

“I am sorry.” It’s Khan that says it when Spock enters the room, because he has nothing else to say.

They both know that he’s not apologizing for the concussion– it’s for the strange words, hissing under the breath, staring at the gravity core for far too long. It’s for how he wants to claw out his own eyes, how he wants to skin Marcus alive. It’s for his descent into madness, how he is falling apart at the seams.

“I am sorry,” he says again, this time with a low voice, jagged with raw, unnameable melancholy. The sob in his throat chokes him– he knows it makes him weak. When Spock’s fingers clasp around his own, it hardly feels real. Khan hardly feels alive. If he were, he might have realized the irony of too little, too late.

#fasciinating #verse: hell is only a word; the reality is much much worse (event horizon.)#x: MY WITNESS IS THE EMPTY SKY (drabble.)#:')#tw blood #tw gore mention #tw violence #??#long post for ts

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annoyedfanfiction · 5 years ago

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Jim Kirk x fem!reader (14) aka I finally get to the point

“Just be glad you’ve still got hair, kid,” Bones was saying as you entered the medbay two days later. “What?” Jim questioned, staring blankly after the CMO. “Hair?” “Ny was going to cut it off,” you explained, leaning against the doorframe. “To be fair, you were conscious when she threatened you so it was fair game.” Jim ran his hands through his hair, as though checking it was all still there. “It’s your best asset,” Bones teased, walking out. “Even (Y/N) wouldn’t love you without it.” “Don’t listen to him,” you protested, limping over to Jim’s bed. “Your eyes are a pretty good bonus too.” He gaped at you, feigning offence, and you grinned, leaning your head on his shoulder. “I’m kidding, we obviously all stick around for your charming personality.” “I’m surrounded by liars,” he professed, dramatically, throwing himself back on his pillows. “Liars, crooks, faux amis!” “At least we didn’t leave you to die in a pit.”

“You should be asleep,” Jim pointed out, ambling onto the obs deck at 0530. “Bones told me about your full night vigil. You must be exhausted.” “And you should be in medbay, but I guess neither of us likes the rules too much.” You spun around to face him, standing to help him sit down. “Besides, I’m rather fond of our early morning stargazing.” Jim laughed, leaning against you, tiredly. “Uhura told me what you did down on the planet,” he continued, eventually. “You could’ve died getting Uhura and I out of there.” “You may not have been physically right behind me doing the same thing this time,” you bit back, without heat, “But I was definitely channelling you as I did it. Besides, as you said, I could make the hard decision because I knew I was with the best crew, and if there was a way to get me back, they would.” He sighed, and you ran your hand through his hair. “I can’t pretend to like knowing you put yourself in danger,” he conceded, relaxing against your touch, “But I can’t pretend I wouldn’t have done the same thing.” “I’m not going to go down to a planet and leave there knowing there was something I could have done to save you, Jim,” you admitted, resting your chin on top of his head. “I can’t. I won’t leave you behind.” “That’s what scares me,” he answered, though he didn’t pull away. “That could get you killed.” “And I wouldn’t regret it.” You pulled away, looking him directly in the eye. “Jim, you must know by now that you’re special to me. In a different way to how Ny and Chris, or Bones, Scotty, Chekov, Sulu or Spock. But I’d do anything in my power to keep them safe as well. I love you, so much it hurts and I didn’t even think I knew what that meant until I met you. But I love them as well, and I’m never going to leave any of you behind knowing that I could have done something, even if it has a one in a million chance of working and I’m more likely to die in the process. And you know every single one of us would say the same. That’s why we’re the best crew in the fleet together, beyond our qualifications.” “Are you telling me that emotional compromise is the key to what StarFleet has trying to gain for the last hundred years?” he queried, almost laughing despite himself. “No, I’m telling you that in a crew as disciplined and eminently qualified as the one you’ve collected here, the one thing that puts all of us so far ahead of the other experts in our fields is the loyalty we share and the faith we have in that.”

“Bones!” McCoy rushed through the medbay to Jim’s bedside, keeping one eye on the monitor as he examined Jim for any change. “What?” he asked, eventually, seeing no physical changes. “She said she loved me.” Jim was staring, unseeing, at the wall, before he flicked his head to McCoy. “She said she loved me!” “Kid, if that’s news to you, you have worse observation skills than I thought.” Bones felt himself sag with relief as he processed his next biting remark. “And that’s saying something.” “Boooneess!” Jim grabbed him by the arms. “She said she loved me.” “Jim, as your CMO, I have no comment,” he settled with, eventually. “As your friend, I can tell you there’s been an illegal betting pool running on when you two would get together since she passed the Maru. And if you made your move in the next week, you’d really be doing me a favour.” “You what?” Jim stared at him for a minute, then scrambled out of the bed. “What are you doing?” Bones stabilised him as he wobbled a bit, grunting as Jim shoved him lightly to the side and took off at a brisk limp. “Jim! You can’t just–argh.” The turbo lift shut in McCoy’s face, the obstinate captain disappearing inside it.

You and Nyota turned to face the turbo lift as the doors opened, eyes widening as Jim staggered out. You jumped to your feet, instantly, and caught him as he stumbled. “What the hell?” you questioned, holding him up. Spock turned to face the commotion. “Captain?” The raised eyebrow showed none of his concern, though his dark eyes brimmed with it. “You are still on medical leave.” “Damn bloody well right he is!” McCoy busted in, angrily, storming onto the bridge. “Running around like a lovesick fool!” Jim clung adamantly to you as McCoy took his other arm, trying to catch his breath through the pain in his side. “You’ve still got a punctured lung!” McCoy flicked his head to you, and you nodded, helping him lead a relatively willing Jim back to the turbo lift. The doors shut off the bridge behind you and Jim turned to look at you, opened his mouth, and slumped forward into you. You caught him, instantly, lifting him bridal style even as McCoy tried vainly to balance him. “What was that about?” you asked, following McCoy through the halls towards medbay. “Apparently he has problems with hearing as well,” Bones scowled, gesturing to a biobed and calling Christine over. “Whatever great love confession you slipped out this morning only just sank in.” The two of them bustled away, wheeling Jim’s biobed away, as Christine shot you a sympathetic glance over her shoulder. You stared after them for a second, sighed, and returned to the bridge, leaving a note on the door saying very firmly to comm you when Jim was out of surgery.

“Len, he’s awake!” Jim blinked blearily against the sterile white lights of the medbay, your voice gentle at his side as you held his hand. He groaned as Bones prodded him with a hypo. “Serves you damn right for trying to kill yourself on your own ship in the one moment of peace we’ve had for the last week,” McCoy scolded in response, checking over his vitals. “When I said I had money on you making a move this week, I didn’t mean to go running off to the bridge immediately. You have a punctured lung, Jim!” “So that’s why I’ve been short of breath for three days.” A lopsided grin formed on Jim’s tired face as Bones spluttered, indignantly. “Relax, Bones. I won’t go anywhere.” “Damn right you won’t.” You clapped a hand over your mouth as you and Bones spoke at the same time. Bones grinned, victoriously, and swept out of the room with a bounce in his step. “Look what you’ve done to me, James Kirk,” you sighed, melodramatically. “Got me sounding like Bones!” Jim chuckled, but it devolved quickly into a cough, and you handed him a glass of water as it subsided, helping him slowly into a sitting position to drink it. “Well, apparently, you love me for it,” he responded, once he got his breath back. “Yeah,” you admitted, with a soft smile. “Yeah I do.”

#jim kirk x reader #jim kirk #james t kirk #tw: injury #leonard bones mccoy #bones #mccoy #spock #s'chn t'gai spock #uhura #nurse chapel #scotty #chekov #sulu #hurt/comfort ish #finally the love confession #jim's a dumbass and we love him for it #james t kirk: the walking genius/idiot paradox

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hellodarjeeling · 5 years ago

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Title: Middle Watch

Fandom: Star Trek: The Original Series

Rating: K

Warning: None

Tags: James T. Kirk, Spock

Summary: Post ST:TMP. Spock visits Kirk’s quarters, curious about the emotions he’s so newly embraced after his encounter with V’Ger.

Notes: My first time posting ST rambles.

James T. Kirk sat at the desk in his quarters, surrounded by stacks of old books and documents from previous missions, catching up on a bit of reading that he simply hadn't had time for until now. In between learning the new ship, the whole business with V’Ger, losing both Ilia and Will Decker, and Spock’s sudden and dramatic reappearance, he felt he only just had the opportunity to catch his breath. Here, in the quiet of his own cabin, for a few hours at least, he could temporarily forget the duties and chaos that awaited him just beyond the sleekly paneled walls.

He heard the door open behind him and the sound of boots crossing the threshold. He glanced over to check the hour; Dr. McCoy was late this evening.

“What’s it tonight, Bones?” he asked, not bothering to look up from the page. Kirk suspected the good doctor had come with one of his more palatable remedies. “Finagle’s Folly?”

His query met with silence, he turned to see Spock standing just inside the doorway. Kirk immediately closed the book he’d been thumbing through and stood up.

“Spock!”

“I hope I am not disturbing you,” Spock answered, taking a few steps farther into the room. Despite the Starfleet uniform he still looked somewhat out of place, as if he were merely visiting the Enterprise on some diplomatic mission, and would depart once mutual gains had been negotiated. The Vulcan clasped his hands behind his back and stood quietly as the pneumatic door closed after him, plunging the room into a heady silence.

Kirk didn't mean to stare but found he couldn’t tear his eyes away; he still couldn’t believe Spock was truly back aboard the ship, again at his side. Spock had refused an offer to return to Vulcan, where he might continue the Kolinahr discipline. He didn't completely understand, but acknowledged the importance it held for Spock; for what other reason would he leave Starfleet behind, wish to exorcise his human half and the emotions it engendered?

Spock.

It hurt him to think of Spock suffering in any capacity. A small part of Kirk believed with disquieting certainty he himself had been a source of that pain.

A moment passed between them, one of comfortable newness, of old friends who suddenly find themselves once again in each other’s lives after an extended separation. Kirk felt warm affection bubble up inside him, brightening his face with a smile; he gestured toward the berth.

“Please, sit down.”

Spock acquiesced and crossed the room to sit on the bed’s edge, his hands folded in his lap. Kirk returned to his seat but turned the chair so that his full attention was trained on his guest. A shimmery chime filled the room as an antique timepiece nestled among the books struck the half hour.

“It’s late, Spock. We humans typically sleep at this time.”

Spock’s eyes cut through the room’s low light like two bright stars.

"I know you to keep late hours." His eyes flicked to the myriad bound volumes crowding the shelves beside the bed. The titles were varied; Spock suspected they were borrowed from other crew members. "I see you still enjoy reading in your spare time. You are what some would consider a 'creature of habit'."

"You know me quite well, Spock," Kirk chuckled. "I'd say even more than I do myself."

Spock's face softened. In the quiet light he appeared more and more the remarkable individual Kirk had come to know so well and less the stranger who'd boarded the ship in their time of need. I’ve missed this, Kirk thought.

“I confess to having heard your thoughts during my time on Vulcan," Spock said suddenly. Kirk shifted in his seat, surprised by this revelation. Vulcan was light-years away from Earth, too far a distance for any conventional mind-link to span.

“How is that possible?”

Spock's brow arched in the way it did when met with a peculiar conundrum. He shook his head, obviously perplexed.

“Unknown. However, I distinctly felt your thoughts during the culmination of the ritual."

Kirk looked at him openly, searching. A million questions tumbled in his mind. One formed into coherent thought.

“Only then?"

Spock returned his gaze with such intensity that Kirk broke contact, shifting the conversation.

"And your task on Vulcan? The Masters—"

"My task," Spock stated quietly, "is complete. I have found my answers."

Kirk settled back into his seat with a sense of relief. The past few years without him were challenging and he had no desire to live through more of the same. He needed Spock by his side, needed him in his life. Spock watched closely as Kirk examined his hands, shaking his head.

"After the mission, when you left, I—” He sighed heavily. “Somehow I ended up behind a desk..."

Kirk rested a hand on the table beside him, feeling the smooth material under his fingertips. Accepting the promotion had been a mistake, he knew now. He was never meant to give up command. Hadn’t Bones tried to warn him? His eyes wandered around the room, taking in the stark modernity of his surroundings. Without Decker he’d leaned on Scott to help familiarize himself with the ship’s new designs and functions. Beneath the shiny new refurbishment was the same old Enterprise, pulsing with her powerful, understated grace. The more things changed, the more they stayed the same. He looked again at Spock. Never meant to give this up.

"I can’t tell you how glad I am to have you back, Spock."

The Vulcan felt a familiar dull ache in the pit of his stomach. He knew it to be the unnamed, persistent longing that tainted every interaction with the humans he’d moved among while aboard the Enterprise. After many years he finally understood what it was that had pained him for so long, pain enough to turn his back on the only place he’d truly considered home. That understanding had led to wanting, needing.

Having was not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. It was not logical, but was often true.

Spock stood suddenly, and Kirk had the fleeting impression he meant to approach him, but Spock had instead turned toward the door, his hands once again clasped behind his back. He took a few slow steps to leave but stopped, his eyes to the floor.

Often, but not always.

"I had hoped, in light of recent developments..."

That well remembered voice was cautious, careful. Kirk watched as the Vulcan faced him. Their eyes met and Kirk felt the overwhelming pull of raw emotion wash over him as it radiated across the room. He raised his arms and held them out in invitation, beckoning Spock over.

“Come here,” he said softly.

Spock slowly approached him, his eyes locked onto Kirk’s. He stopped as he reached the chair; he scarcely seemed to be breathing. Kirk looked up at him for a moment, taking in every detail of the face he’d memorized long ago. He stood, rising to his full height, gazing into the melancholic eyes before him.

Spock was so thin—time on Vulcan had whittled the flesh from his cheeks. Kirk reached out and rested his hands on Spock’s shoulders. He could feel the toll the Kolinahr had taken through the tunic fabric. Those shoulders, angular before, were sharper. Where Kirk has gained a few pounds from life behind a desk, Spock had lost them.

Oh.

Kirk slipped his arms around the lean waist and settled them into the small of his back, pulling Spock close. The distance between them disappeared as they pressed comfortably together. For a moment Spock seemed frozen with indecision, but allowed himself to relax into the embrace, resting his arms across Kirk’s back.

“Jim.”

That name. Speaking that name after years of restraint was a homecoming. Spock let its weight rest on his tongue, savoring the taste.

“Jim,” he said again, with reverence befitting a prayer.

Kirk hugged him tighter, burying his face into the fabric at the Vulcan’s neck. He imagined he could smell the spiced Vulcan breeze lingering on Spock’s skin.

“I missed you,” he murmured, not trusting his voice to speak any louder.

Spock’s fingers tensed, pressing into the warm flesh beneath their breadth. It knows that it needs, but not what. He inclined his head, resting his chin against Kirk’s temple, listening to the steady thrum of the human heart he'd so nearly broken with his pilgrimage to Gol.

T’hy’la! he thought. Jim!

After years of needing, he had finally accepted what it was he sought. Of all the strange and wonderful worlds discovered during their historic mission, none could compare to the one he found himself inhabiting in that small ship's cabin, lost amid the vast expanse of space.

He was exactly where he belonged.

He was home.

#star trek #tos #my fic #star trek the motion picture #kirk #spock #spirk

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1shirt2shirtredshirtdeadshirt · 6 years ago

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Of Stars and Plebes Chapter 13 Preview

“Jim . . . “ Spock’s voice was rough and velvety, and it made Jim shiver involuntarily. Truth be told he had let himself get so comfortable there staring at the stars with Spock pressed against his side that he had entirely lost track of time. He felt his face flush in the dark and was grateful for the cover.

“Mmmm?”

“We are supposed to be studying.”

“And we will!” Jim assented earnestly. “First thing in the morning.”

“Absolutely not.” Spock said with a calm firmness, causing Jim to raise his eyebrows and smile cheekily as he came to an elbow, resting his head in one hand. He was suddenly very awake.

“Oh?”

“I do not see the humor in the matter. I am your tutor. I made a vow to Dr. Vaidya to mentor your performance in this course, hence your work ethic and commitment are a reflection of my own. Do you understand?”

Jim raised his hands in surrender, still wearing that lopsided grin.

“Consider me told. Message received, boss. I will stare at that book until I die on it tonight.”

Spock stared, impervious.

“A study session will suffice.” He insisted, getting to his feet. To Spock’s amusement Jim actually raised his arms without thought or hesitation, fully expecting the Vulcan to just help him up. Spock complied, taking Jim about the forearms and tugging him easily to a stand.

“Hey, you know what we should do?” Jim prompted immediately as they set into a trot.

“No, as you are yet to provide any inkling of a specification to your statement.”

“We should start bringing that book out here to study!” Jim was now flitting about Spock animatedly.

“In the dark.” Spock said pointedly as Jim was inexplicably walking backwards in front of him, smiling. “Jim. No.”

“Come on, it’d be less cramped than my dorm room.”

“And far less sufficient light to study in. It would be illogical.”

“There’s that word again.” Jim teased.

“And furthermore did I not provide you with a replacement PADD? Why do you insist on utilizing the archaic and outdated text that is considerably more challenging to peruse in the name of time and efficiency as well as a greater physical burden on mobility?”

“I like the way it smells.” Jim confessed, to which Spock could only study him helplessly for some semblance of reason. He did it long enough that Jim actually laughed incredulously, experiencing self-consciousness. “What? You’ve never smelled a book? . . . what?”

Contrary to claims earlier made with a considerable flourish of drama, Jim Kirk did not die in his book.

He did however pass out face first into its open pages and started to leak drool onto the text somewhere around quarter after two. Spock promptly but gingerly moved Jim’s marigold head from the groove of the spine, going about the delicate task of peeling page 228 from Jim’s cheek. He shut the book and placed it on the nightstand, prepared to get up, but found himself stopping to stare at the book again.

He leaned in close, checking to see if Jim were still asleep. The soft snoring was his affirmative reply. He picked the book up again, opening it to a random page showcasing Andoria being dwarfed by a ringed ball of gas in its shadow. He leered suspiciously over at Jim one more time as he ever so hesitantly lifted the open pages up to his face and quietly inhaled.

Something strange, warm and fond lit a kindling in his chest; yes, he did know this unique fragrance. It was a familiar scent long rooted in the past of his earliest cherished memories. It smelled the same as the novels which sat in his mother’s personal library.

Further proof that I am complete and utter academy trash.

Chapter 13

Full Fic

#oc #ocspirk #fanfic #mcspirk #spirk #triumvirate #gary mitchell #spock #mccoy #kirk #dr. mccoy #James T. Kirk #tos #tos fanfic #spirk fanfiction #spirk fic #academy fic #kirk/spock #spirk fanfic

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goldenworldsabound · 6 years ago

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Envelope That Mountain (Of Feels)

The title is a bit jokey BUT this is the story of how the Interwoven Stars poly ship got started!!! It’s a bit long so most of it under the cut.

“All ready for the camping trip?” Kirk poked his head into Bones’ room, assuming he’d find the doctor putting the last touches on a backpack for an overnight trip. He was startled to find the doctor with no such thing, instead dressed like he was going out for a casual stroll, with a bag suspiciously lacking in sleeping bag or tent shaped bits.

“Hm? Oh, sorry Jim, it must’ve slipped my mind to tell you, but I’m not wasting my shore leave going on a camping trip when there are drinks and girls to be had.” McCoy replied, grinning wide. “I’m a little rusty on flirting probably, but I’ve been practicing some lines, wanna hear ‘em?”

“Er, no thanks, Bones.” Kirk fidgeted, feeling surprisingly queasy all of a sudden.

“You feeling alright?” McCoy asked, noticing the change.

“It’s just, I suppose that means it’s just Wendy, Spock, and I…” He murmured, realizing what exactly it was that was getting to him and immediately regretting verbalizing.

“Oh, well, sorry to leave you with the lovesick couple.” He chuckled a bit. “Although really, they aren’t that bad, are they, Jim?” McCoy raised a brow at Kirk.

“No, no, they aren’t, you’re right. It should still be fun.” He made an effort to perk back up to stop the questioning, afraid of the answer he would have to give. “I’m sure when we come back and tell you about it you’ll be rotten jealous you didn’t come with us, Bones!” Kirk grinned at his fellow.

Bones snorted. “Uh huh, sure thing. Well, I’m off for the day, so I’ll catch you later!”

Bones pushed past Kirk, who had never left the doorway, locking the door to his quarters behind him.

“Oh, I will!” Kirk shot back, watching Bones head down the corridor. He wished he believed his own statement as much as it sounded like he did. And why was it he didn’t?

Nope, not going there right. He sucked in his breath and hurried back to his own quarters to grab his stuff.

-------------------------------------

The hike was going smoothly enough.

Bones was right, of course, about Spock and Wendy. They weren’t all over each other. In fact, they were both fairly quiet. Wendy would occasionally make an observation or a quip, Spock would respond. Kirk found himself just listening without much response. He had quite a lot on his mind.

He hung back as they steadily padded through the woods. It was quiet back here. He felt himself relaxing, his thoughts beginning to unfurl despite his best attempts.

They knew. They had to know! How he felt about them...when Spock had connected with him, in that urgent moment when his life was slipping away...Spock, and with his connection Wendy as well, had brought him back, kept him on this plane. It had felt so warm with the two of them. It had felt like he belonged. His own feelings had spilled out - he wanted to stay with them, he wanted to be with them, he loved them-

He felt nauseous remembering. Kirk was a man who felt a lot but appeared to feel little. He kept everything close to his chest, nestled deeply in his heart. Having shared such a vulnerable thing, admitting to his two friends, who were deeply in love with each other, that he was in love with the two of them! It seemed selfish at best, and malicious at worst, now that he looked back on it.

They had been kind about it. They had still felt so warm and welcoming. And when the connection ended, they had treated him no different. There had been no time though - disaster after disaster before they finally arrived here, to shore leave.

He had specifically agreed to this trip because Bones was invited as well. He somehow hadn’t figured on going with just Wendy and Spock. He smiled derisively to himself. But what was he expecting? That they’d…

He stopped the thought. They would never purposefully embarrass or hurt him. He was certain of that. The most likely thing, he concluded, was that they’d simply say nothing about the whole situation, and he could just go on pretending it had never happened, while secretly missing that brief moment of warmth he’d enjoyed in their shared connection.

Sounded great.

He was startled out of his thoughts as he bumped into Spock, who had stopped walking ahead of him.

“Jim?” Spock asked, raising a brow questioningly.

“Whoops, sorry about that. Just lost in thought I guess.” Kirk replied, unfortunately aware of how his cheeks were flushed. At least he could blame it on the exertion.

“Spock and I were just thinking this was a good place to camp.” Wendy said, smiling at him. Kirk smiled back, feeling a bit uneasy with the knowing look she seemed to wear.

“It will be dark in 126.5 Terran minutes.” Spock reported dutifully, gesturing with his gaze at the setting suns. “It would be wise to set up camp quickly, so that we can eat while it is still bright out.”

“Is that an estimate?” Kirk asked on reflex, tone teasing. Spock raised his brows. “Well, it just wasn’t very precise, for you.” He grinned a little, falling into the easy comfort of speaking to his friend, despite his prior misgivings.

“For the past year, when I have given estimates more precise than one decimal point, you have reacted with some form of teasing 83.563% of the time.” Spock remarked.

Kirk gawked at him. Wendy laughed. “Alright, enough banter, boys, let’s make camp.”

-----------------------------------

With the tent and assorted bits finally set up, Kirk found that he was starting to feel better already. The three of them had their usual banter - nothing had changed. They’d cooked dinner, and reminisced over the last few incidents, Wendy and Kirk often ending up in stitches while Spock looked on with the slightest smile on his face.

The trip was going to be fine after all.

As the sun set, they remained around the campfire. Wendy had begun to lean on Spock a little, looking content, and the Vulcan had put his arm around her. Kirk felt an ache in his heart as the conversation began to die down.

“Jim?” Wendy asked, sitting up a bit as she addressed him.

“Hm?” He responded, snapping out of his daze. Gods, how badly he wanted to join them…he could see that they were holdings hands now.

“Do you remember, on Hestus VIII, when you were hurt?” Wendy asked softly, gazing at him.

He felt a blush creeping up on his face. Shit, this was exactly what he’d been worried about. Just play it cool.

“Uh, yeah...that was...thank you…” He murmured, rubbing the back of his head, trying to buy himself some time to think his way out of this conversation.

“It is illogical to thank us. You have done the same for us, and I am certain you would do it again.” Spock replied. “But that isn’t what we wanted to discuss.”

Kirk tensed, prepared for Spock to simply blurt out whatever it was he was going to say. He wasn’t sure which was worse - bluntness, or the gentle way Wendy was seeming to tiptoe around it.

“Look, Jim, I think you know this, but the, the mental link we all shared...we felt what you felt. And you felt what we felt. And we thought we should talk about it.” Wendy squeezed Spock’s hand as she spoke.

“Uh, yeah, well, about that…” He took a deep breath. “Look, I was...I was scared, I thought I was gonna...I thought I might die, so I...I let some things slip that I shouldn’t have. It won’t happen again. And I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” His hands were fists on his lap, clenched tightly. He slipped into diplomatic form as he spoke, his words coming across strongly and confidently, even as they cut at his own heart.

Wendy and Spock stared at him in silence for a moment.

“But...but Jim, didn’t you-” Wendy gaped at him.

“Wendy, humans often have trouble distinguishing who a feeling belongs to in a connection like that.” Spock commented, before turning his gaze to Kirk. “Jim, how did it feel in the connection?”

“Warm…” He murmured before he could stop himself. He blushed. “What are you trying to tell me?” His tone was cautious, but curious.

“That was because we love you too.” Wendy said quietly, blushing.

“That’s-” Kirk froze, completely unprepared for that. He stared. Even Spock was a tinge green on his cheeks. Kirk couldn’t believe this. They had just come out and said it. He was reeling. He hadn’t anticipated this in even his wildest dreams. “You really do?” He asked softly, in whisper tones.

“Yes, Jim. I love you. And Wendy loves you.” Spock replied, his lips curling up into a wider smile at the confession. Kirk had never seen such a thing on his friend.

“And we wanted to...well, to date you, if you’ll have us.” Wendy said, with a little laugh.

“Wow I...I never expected…” He groaned into his hands, putting them over his face to cover the huge blush deepening over his face.

“Jim?” Spock asked, with a hint of concern. Wendy pat his arm gently, knowingly.

Kirk began to laugh a little, until finally his laughs were loud and happy. He wiped a tear from his eye. “I’m so happy.” He said simply, grinning.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Wendy replied, with her own grin. Spock was smiling again too. She stood up, and Spock followed suit. They each sat down on either side of Jim, who looked startled. Wendy and Spock held hands behind his back, and then each took one of Jim’s hands, pressing against him gently.

And suddenly Jim felt the warmth again - and this time he recognized it for what it was. Their love for each other, and for him. The three of them sat contentedly by the fire, snuggled up like this. He couldn’t believe it. But it was real.

After a moment, his mind began to linger on concerns that he couldn’t shake.

“But I...I have to say this, at least once. The Enterprise will always be my first love. She is the most important to me.” He said softly, reluctantly.

“Of course, Jim. It would be wrong of us to expect you to change your nature to be with us…” Spock replied without hesitation.

“We understand. And we love you knowing this.” Wendy squeezed his hand, nestling her face into the crook of his neck.

Kirk felt his eyes tearing up. He was overflowing with happiness. He had accepted long ago that as part of being a starship Captain, this sort of love was off-limits to him. And yet, he had found it. In two of his best friends, now his lovers. Nothing could be better.

When they finally retired to sleep, they fell asleep cuddling with smiles on their faces, Kirk firmly sandwiched between Wendy and Spock.

#interwoven stars #fic #self insert #self ship #self shipping

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alexisnoir · 6 years ago

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My sad dream was as follows...

Spock and his father did not get on, as you know from TOS, because of Starfleet. In my dream, Sarek had nothing against Starfleet, he was more against Spock loving other men. Sarek wasn't homophobic, from what I remember of my dream, Sarek’s clan was dying out and Sarek himself was pressured to produce more heirs. Since he and Amanda could not have any more children, this request was moved to Spock. He was to be bonded on his 18th birthday to a Vulcan woman (not T’Pring) so he could get what the clan needed - heirs.

Spock finds about that by accident from someone at the Vulcan learning center and he tries to talk to Sarek. His father won’t change his mind because if Spock won’t produce heirs, his father will have to divorce his current wife, Amanda and take a new one.

Spock, I think didn’t believe him, and took a very radical decision. Since he’s 17th at the time of the conversation, he takes some of his fathers credits, packs a single grey bag and leaves Vulcan undetected in a cargo ship. He travels for about a week and ends up, finally, on Earth in San Francisco.

There he is faced with a dilemma, what to do? Statfleet’s tuition costs quite a bit but then he overhears Jim Kirk and Leonard “Bones” Maccoy talking about a job that is perfect if you want to work and pay for your schooling.

There are still some families in San Francisco that want to have butlers. You get a roof over your head, a room, some pocket money, you work for them and in turn they pay for your school tuition.

Spock, secretly follows them into such a house. He didn’t want to be spotted by the mansion owner but he was. He thought that Maccoy would apply to but he was mistaken. So after some honest conversation with the man of the house, as they say, he and Jim get the job. Some days they will work, some they will go to school. In my dream it worked 50/50.

In that mansion lived a British man and British woman. They had a stable and a huge place for the horses to run freely or someone to ride them.

My dream jumped through that part into the graduation where Spock and Jim were very good friends, best friends really. Jim finished a command track, Spock Science and command.

They both are commissioned onto the Enterprise under Captain Pike.

Again my dream jumped into the moment where it’s Jim as the Captain and Spock as the first officer. Maccoy is there too as the Chief Medical Officer, Uhura and the rest is there too. However they were on Earth getting ready to leave for the 5 year mission.

I remember that Spock and Jim lived together in a small house, three rooms, kitchen a bathroom. One room was their bedroom (they already sleep together by that time apparently), the 2nd bedroom was a study/library kind of room and the third one was made into a child’ room but as of yet there was no child.

When they got on the ship they were talking very excitedly about their little Angel, their little miracle.

From what I’ve gathered from this dream, they were starting their 5 year mission but also they were on the way to “pick up” their child, their little miracle.

My dream, again, jumps to the moment where the child, a little girl is on board.

At the beginning she is about a year old, half Vulcan but unfortunately I don’t remember the other half. Either in my dream it wasn't said or I forgot. But lets say half vulcan half human, like Spock.

Everything is perfect order. Their daughter little Tiana grows up, healthy, happy and having Spock wrapped around her little finger.

Everyone always comments on her cute little pointed ears and blond or maybe red hair? I think they were red. Unusual for a Vulcan/human hybrid.

In my dream I saw moments with Spock, Jim, they separately with their daughter, together, with the crew, the doctor giving her routine vaccines.

All is well for about 2 years. When she two and half or three years old a multum of things happen.

Firstly USS Enterprise gets a mission, to pick up the Vulcan ambasador to Earth. his wife and his aids from a colony where there were peace talks and transport them to Earth. Easy right? Not if you’re Spock. When Spock finds out, he confesses what he did in his youth and why. Jim’s only answer was “Screw him. I’ll be civil to him, because it is expected from me as a Captain but if he so much as wrongly looks at you Spock or our daughter, I’ll hang him by his pointed ears and make him listen to what I have to say” (more or less it was said like that)

When Sarek and his wife (Amanda Grayson still is his wife, turns out Spock was right) walk out of the shuttle, Spock is not there to welcome him to the ship. He hopes Sarek won’t know Spock is on the ship, since from what Spock knows and owns all the necessary documentation, he Spock of Vulcan is declared vrekasht - outcast. Never to return to Vulcan. He is as good as dead to them.

Unfortunately for him, Sarek knows exactly where Spock is. He knows he is in Starfleet, hard not to know if the first and only Vulcan hybrid is a renowned first officer. Yet he doesn’t say anything to Jim or anyone else. Amanda Grayson has no idea where her son is, Sarek made sure of that somehow.

My dream jumps to a moment in Spock’s and Jim’s cabin where Spock is checking their daughter because she wasn’t feeling well. She has a fever and Spock takes her to Maccoy because before they leave, Jim is requested to go to the bridge.

On his way to sickbay, Spock walks into his father path. You can guess how shocked Sarek is to see a small 2,5- 3 year old Vulcan child in his arms, an information he didn’t have. Argument ensues and words, harsh words are exchanged but that argument is cut short when Spock’s daughter Tiana coughs and a small trickle of pinkish (not red) blood runs down on the side of her chin.

Spock hurries to sickbay, his father on his heels but Spock tells him to bugger off, literally those words he used in my dream. Reluctantly he stays in the office part of sickbay. Spock calls Jim on the intercom. He must hurry to sickbay because their daughter is very sick and weak.

My dream jumps to the moment where Maccoy tells Spock and Jim that their daughter is dying. Because of her hybrid status, her non Vulcan part is killing her. As I mentioned before I have no idea if Tiana was half Vulcan half human but I think not. Her blood in my dream was more pink than red so keep that in mind.

Maccoy can’t do anything. She’s just falling apart for a lack of better choice of words. All they can do is make her comfortable and be with her.

Tiana is placed in a separate single room that is mostly used if someone catches a contagious disease but it is private and that’s what they need right now.

My dream then fast forwards through few days. I remember seeing Spock and Jim with her in that room, Spock singing to her in Vulcan an Earths lubally. Jim tells her stories of princesses and kings, dragons etc. The bridge crew comes to visit her.

Her request is to see the stars on the observation deck. Spock and Jim take her there, walking through corridors. When they get there, the Enterprise is in some kind of star system that looks like a rainbow of colors.

Something like this below but more rainbow colors were there.

All she says that it is very pretty Daddy (Spock), Papa (Jim) and goes to sleep.

Forever.

Spock and Jim are of course heartbroken, there was a lot of crying from both of them. She was their little angel, their little miracle.

And my dream ends with the view of the three of them in the observation deck, Spock holding their daughter, Jim holding Spock, both crying and hoping that their daughter is in better place now. That;s when I woke up actually with tears in my eyes, unbeknown to me that dream was more “real” than I wish to imagine. This dream was about a child dying in the end.... the reality had similar ideas...

The moral from this dream is that a child doesn't need to be a product of you and your partner, that child can be adopted and loved as much as your own born child. Family is not always about genetics but love.

Unfortunately my dream did not answer one of my questions: did Sarek and Spock made up as father and son?

The saddest thing for me is that THIS dream was way too close to the reality.

I had this dream on Thursday/Friday night.

On Friday in the afternoon my friend that lived in a block of flats next to me fell from his window when he was cleaning it. From the 7th floor.

He didn’t make it :(

He was 27 years old.

#sarek #spock #jim kirk #spirk #dream #long post #post #dreams #their meaning

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tonystarkreactor · 7 years ago

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Peter Parker's Step-By-Step Guide to Get These Two Dumbasses to Kiss Already

They were pathetic.

Adorable, but absolutely fucking pathetic.

Peter realized this one afternoon as he was sitting in the kitchen, doing his homework. Colonel Rhodes was practicing with his braces. Mr. Stark was walking right beside him, acting as his spotter.

Peter looked up, across the island that separated the kitchen from the living room, a question about his math homework on the tip of his tongue. However, as soon as his eyes landed on Mr. Stark and Rhodes, any previous thought left his mind.

Rhodes was on the floor, his legs pulled up beside him, and Mr. Stark was kneeling down beside him, asking questions and checking if he was okay.

With the biggest heart-eyes he’d ever seen.

Peter’s jaw dropped as he stared, his eyes turning to Rhodes, only to realize that he had the doe eyes, too. Not quite as bad and obvious, but holy shit.

Holy shit.

Peter wasn’t sure how he hadn’t seen this before. These two grown adults were looking at the other like he was the light of his life. Peter resisted a gag. Oh, this was getting gross. They were still staring! Even as they were talking, they looked disgustingly infatuated.

Peter sighed before flipping the page in his notebook. He was not going to sit to the side and do nothing about this revelation.

Step 1: Confirm that they have romantic feelings for each other.

Peter didn’t want to waste his time, so his first step, obviously, was to make sure he wasn’t.

Step one wasn’t difficult. That didn’t mean it wasn’t painful. Peter didn’t anticipate how frustrating it’d be to watch as they stared at each other longingly while the other remained completely oblivious.

Mr. Stark’s proof came when they were all sitting in the workshop. Peter was unwillingly working on his homework, because Mr. McCall was a dick who assigned an essay over spring break. Colonel Rhodes was helping Tony tweak the design of his braces, and the two were rambling about Star Trek. Peter didn’t really know what they were talking about, because he’d never seen Star Trek, but he knew that Ned was confident that Spock and Kirk were gay for each other. He remembered that Ned mentioned that there was a phrase– T’hy’la?– that apparently was some pretty significant evidence.

“Hey, what does T’hy’la mean?” Peter asked, glancing up from his homework because following this train of thought was more interesting than analyzing Gatsby.

Colonel Rhodes barely looked up, but Mr. Stark immediately looked at Colonel Rhodes. “It’s a Vulcan term that means ‘friend, brother, lover.’” He frowned, looking up. “Why?”

Oh. Yeah, that was proof. By the way Mr. Stark was staring at the colonel, Peter got the feeling that T’hy’la perfectly summed up the genius’s feelings.

Shrugging, Peter looked back at his paper. “Nothing. Ned just mentioned it one time when he was gushing about Spirk.”

“You heathen,” Mr. Stark said, snapping out of his Rhodes TranceTM. “It’s not Spirk. It’s just Kirk-slash-Spock. We didn’t combine names like you kids. If it wasn’t Kirk-slash-Spock, it was just K-slash-S.”

“Personally, I like Kock,” Colonel Rhodes said, grinning, and Peter rolled his eyes.

“We know you do,” he said, and he was rewarded with Mr. Stark’s laughter and a snort from the colonel.

Colonel Rhodes’s proof came when they were all sitting in the living room and watching The Force Awakens. Peter was apparently the only one who’d seen it, as the colonel had been on duty when it came out and Mr. Stark had been preparing for some gala, and they’d both just never gotten around to it.

The pure excitement on Mr. Stark’s face when Peter suggested watching it was kind of priceless. He had immediately grabbed Colonel Rhodes and Vision (who was very amused by the excitement in the room), and they had all piled onto the couch.

When Han and Chewbacca appeared on the screen, Mr. Stark shot up and grabbed his best friend’s arm. Peter snickered, Vison hid a smile, and Colonel Rhodes pulled his gaze away from the screen only to give Mr. Stark the most besotted expression Peter had ever seen.

It was absolutely adorable.

They continued to be cute as Mr. Stark began smacking Colonel Rhodes excitedly in the arm, whispering, “ Rhodey, Rhodey, Rhodey,” and Rhodes just grinned at him like a lovesick idiot until it became sickening.

Step 2: Now that you know for sure these dumbasses are infatuated with each other, get them alone.

Peter had been hiding in the kitchen for twenty minutes, peering into the living room and making sure that Colonel Rhodes wasn’t going to get up anytime soon. When he changed the channel to a show on HGTV, Peter did a little fist pump and pulled out his phone, shooting a quick text to Mr. Stark, asking him to come upstairs to help out with some math homework.

Seconds later, he got a reply. Didn’t you say you didn’t have any homework this weekend?

Oh. He had, hadn’t he? Ugh, screw Peter from the past. He made up a lie about simply forgetting and sent that.

Could you come down here? Can’t really walk away from this project.

Peter glowered at the phone. Was it so fucking hard to take an elevator upstairs. Was it? He texted, But I’m lazyyyy.

How is it that you complain about taking an elevator down a few floors, when just three days ago I saw you on the news scaling a skyscraper.

Peter groaned and threw down his phone, storming through the living room to the elevator, ignoring Colonel Rhodes’s surprised “Wait, have you been in there the whole time?”

The next day, he tried the reverse. Mr. Stark was making a sandwich in the kitchen, and Peter was hiding behind the couch in the living room. He texted Colonel Rhodes, asking him to teach him to make that chili everyone loves, because he’d like to make it for Aunt May for her birthday (which wasn’t even technically a lie, even if her birthday was a month away).

Colonel Rhodes texted back, I dunno. It’s a family recipe. Not sure if you’re worthy.

Peter’s fists clenched. Did he have to be so difficult? Come on, rhodes, pleeeeaaase.

Luckily, Colonel Rhodes textes back fine , and Peter did a fist pump, before darting into the bathroom and hiding.

After a few minutes, the elevator’s doors opened, and Peter peeked around the bathroom doorway. From here, he could not only see into the living room, but he could see into the kitchen as well. He watched Colonel Rhodes walk out slowly; he was making lots of progress, and Mr. Stark’s braces helped a lot.

Peter watched as Mr. Stark looked over, and the way he perked up was both endearing and ridiculously pathetic.

“Hey, sourpatch, you’re doing great!” he said, grinning as Colonel Rhodes joined him in the kitchen.

“Thanks, Tones…” Rhodes said distractedly, looking around the room with his eyebrows furrowed. “Where’s Peter?” he asked, and said teenager quickly ducked behind the doorway.

“He… was here a minute ago,” Mr. Stark said, walking into the living room, sandwich forgotten. Finally, he shrugged. “I don’t know. Teenagers,” he huffed, and Colonel Rhodes rolled his eyes affectionately.

“Alright,” he said, letting out a grunt before shoving himself off the counter and heading towards the elevator.

No, Peter thought, glaring daggers at Rhodes. Don’t you dare go into that elevator. Stay and confess your feelings, you stupid, emotionally constipated–

The elevator’s doors closed, and Peter threw his head back in frustration.

Colonel Rhodes was reading the news on a tablet, and Mr. Stark was working again. Peter glared at both of them, going completely unnoticed, before he blurted, “You two should go see a movie together.”

They both looked up, confused expressions on their face. “Or something,” Peter added, and refused to back down when the men looked at him like he was insane.

“What?” Mr. Stark said finally, his eyebrows furrowed. He looked concerned for Peter’s mental being.

“You two. Should go see a movie together. Or something,” Peter said. “When’s the last time you guys just chilled together?”

“Chill,” Mr. Stark repeated, narrowing his eyes.

“Yeah.”

“Peter, are you okay?” Colonel Rhodes asked, setting the tablet down. “You’ve been acting weird.”

“No, you’ve been acting weird. You guys are too stressed. Just, like, go see a movie. Relax.”

Colonel Rhodes and Mr. Stark shared a careful look, before looking back at Peter. “Pete, we watch movies all the time.”

“Yeah, old ones. With me. You should go see a new movie. Uh. He thought about what was in theaters, and he said, “You guys could see, like… Beauty and the Beast . That has really good reviews.”

“Kid, if you want to see a movie, just ask. You don’t have to be weird about it,” Colonel Rhodes said, and Peter facepalmed.

“No! I’m not– just– fucking go see a movie together! Is that so difficult?” he snaps, and the two men gape at him, looking completely lost and very worried.

“Aren’t you supposed to be past the whole… mood swing stage of puberty?” Mr. Stark asked slowly.

Peter threw his hands up. “I’m not– it’s not puberty! Just– God, you guys are so annoying.”

Peter looked at his handiwork. The kitchen table had a fancy tablecloth that he might have stolen from Aunt May, with plates set up with all the necessary silverware that Google says is required. He’d plopped some takeout Italian onto each of the plates, even served the salad he ordered onto the tiny salad plates. He’d poured grape juice into two wine glasses, because Mr. Stark had gotten rid of all the alcohol in the tower months ago. Peter even looked up how to fold those cloth napkins.

Not bad. He looked around, though, frowning, because something was missing. Oh, he forgot to light the candles. He turned around, dug through a drawer for a lighter, before spinning back around. He flicked the lighter, and carefully lit each of the candles, before setting the lighter aside. Huh. Something still wasn’t right.

“FRIDAY, can you dim the lights? Fifty percent?”

Perfect.

He grinned, pulling out his phone and texted both Colonel Rhodes and Mr. Stark to go to the kitchen.

He heard a notification sound right outside the kitchen, and he jumped, whipping around to see Mr. Stark watching him. “Uh–”

Mr. Stark gave him a disappointed, exasperated look. “What are you doing?” he asked, before pulling out his phone to check the notification. He frowned, looking up at Peter, eyes wide with realization. “Wait. Is this for me and Rhodey?”

“Uh.”

Peter bolted.

Step 3: Gather recruitments.

“Peter!”

Peter’s footsteps stopped halfway through the door into his apartment. He carefully took a few steps forward, finding Aunt May leaning against the couch with her arms crossed.

He paused. “… Yes?”

“I got a call from Tony.”

“… Okay.”

She raises an eyebrow. “He says that you’ve been trying to set them up. On dates.”

“That’s… he’s lying. Obviously, he’s lying, why– why would I do that? That’d be… weird. I wasn’t. Didn’t. I didn’t do that, clearly.”

“Peter, why are you messing with two grown men’s love lives?”

“No! I’m messing with their lack thereof! So they actually have love lives. Because they could.” He mutters to himself, “If they just get their heads out of their asses.”

Wait.

He brightened, looking at Aunt May with wide eyes. He pointed to her. “I need your help.”

She opens her mouth, looking at him exasperatedly. “What? Peter, I am not going to help you interfere–”

“C’mon, Aunt May! They have known each other for thirty years, and they still haven’t confessed their feelings for each other. If we don’t interfere, they’ll never say anything! Please?” he begged.

She raised her eyebrow skeptically.

“Please, Aunt May. I just want them to be happy,” he said, smiling innocently.

She huffed, side-eyeing him reluctantly. “I did think they were dating the first time I saw them together.”

Peter grinned hopefully. “So?”

She huffed, rolling her eyes. “Fine.” She began to walk away, before she stopped and pointed at him. “But you have got to learn to be more subtle.”

He gave her a mock salute. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Ms. Potts!”

The woman turned her head, her hair flipping over her shoulder. “Peter,” she said, sounding surprised. “What are you doing down here?” It wasn’t often Peter was in the office levels of Stark Tower.

Peter hurried to a stop beside her, his backpack jostling behind him. “I need your help,” he said, looking at her pleadingly.

Her eyebrows raised. “With what? What’s wrong?”

Peter shifted, realizing suddenly that this might’ve been an awkward request, asking her to help him set up her ex with his best friend. He tried anyway. “Have you noticed that Mr. Stark and Colonel Rhodes are pining over each other?”

Ms. Potts stared at him for a moment before snorting. He blinked in surprise. Was this a good reaction or a bad reaction?

“Uh,” he said.

“Peter, I have known that those two have been in love with each other since the first time I saw them together.”

Peter blinked. “But…”

She sighed, shaking her head. “Tony did love me when we were dating, I’ve never doubted that. He’s always loved Rhodey, too, though. That, of course, had nothing to do with us breaking up. That was just–” She cut herself off, shaking her head again and widening her eyes. Peter understood that expression, felt it enough when Mr. Stark was feeling particularly self-destructive. (Which, luckily, was a state that was occurring less and less often.) She also probably didn’t want to get into her dating history with a sixteen-year-old.

“Point is,” she said, “Trust me, I know he’s pining. I’m assuming you want to do something about it?”

Peter nodded.

“Well,” she said, sighing. “Good luck. Tony is the worst with expressing feelings. Especially deep, deep feelings that have been buried for decades. But,” she said, giving him a calculating look, “you may be able to do it. Maybe. You can’t talk to Tony directly about it.”

“Of course,” Peter said, mentally taking notes.

“You might not be able to talk to Rhodes about it either, because he’s probably pressed down his feelings for a while too. He’s not as bad at expressing his emotions as Tony is, but he’s not exactly great. Being in the military probably hasn’t helped.” She flicked her eyes toward the ceiling, before looking at Peter again and asking, “What have you tried so far?”

“I keep trying to get them alone, but one of them always leaves and they never actually talk. They just talk about movies and the suits and the leg braces, but they don’t talk about their feelings. Also, Aunt May says I’m really bad at being subtle.”

“Wait,” Ms. Potts said, her eyes wide. “Rhodey told me he found candles in the garbage. What did you do?”

“Listen! I needed them to actually stay in the same place, so I tried to set up, y’know, a little date–”

“With candles? Like that wouldn’t send Tony running for the hills?” Ms. Potts demanded, her eyes wide with disbelief.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” Peter said glumly. “But I didn’t know what to do. What should I do?”

Ms. Potts looked contemplative, placing her clipboard against her hip. Finally, she said, “You can’t push them toward something new.”

“But–”

“Ah,” she said, cutting him off with a flick of her hand. “We have to use what we’ve already got. They’re both very protective of each other. Rhodey loves Tony when he’s happy and soft. His levels of affection seriously skyrocket when Tony’s sleep-deprived and cuddly.”

“So I need to make Mr. Stark sleep-deprived?” Peter asked, confused.

“Not necessarily. He gets sleep-deprived on his own all the time, though he’s getting better. Thank you, by the way.” Peter didn’t really know how he helped in that respect, but okay. “You just need to make sure Rhodey catches him in that state. Maybe lead him into the workshop when you know he’s getting tired.”

“But then I’ll be there, and they won’t do anything if I’m there,” Peter countered.

“You’re right,” Ms. Potts conceded, tilting her head. After a moment, she nodded. “Recruit FRIDAY. And the bots, especially Dum-E. He’s been around since MIT, he’s experienced the pining longer than anyone.”

“Okay,” Peter said, nodding. He went through his mental checklist, before nodding again. “Okay. I’ve got this.”

“You’ve got this,” Ms. Potts repeated, looking amused.

As soon as the elevator doors closed behind Peter, he said, “FRIDAY, I need your help.”

“Is this about your matchmaking endeavors?” FRIDAY asked, and Peter nodded.

“Yes, and I need your help. And the bots’.”

There’s a pause, before FRIDAY says, somewhat hesitantly, “How can I help?”

Peter grinned.

Step 4: Follow Pepper’s plan.

Peter watched the display of his phone (courtesy of Mr. Stark) from his room, his eyes narrowed and focused. This had to work. It was a plan by none other than Virginia Potts. Colonel Rhodes and Mr. Stark may be infuriating, but Ms. Potts is Ms. Potts.

There was a knock on his door, and Aunt May stepped in, her mouth open to ask something, but it fell shut when she saw the holographic display. “Peter! Are you spying?” she demanded, looking at the footage FRIDAY was feeding to him of Mr. Stark conked out on the sofa.

“It’s part of the mission,” Peter objected. “I need to see if this works.”

“Peter,” she says, exasperated.

“C’mon, Aunt May! Oh, shut up, it’s Rhodes!” he said, looking at the screen excitedly as the colonel entered the room onscreen.

Aunt May rolled her eyes. “Now you’re sounding like Tony,” she said.

“Thanks,” Peter said absently, obviously not catching what she meant, but she couldn’t help but smile at his automatic response.

Then she focused on what exactly her nephew was up to, and she forced her expression to be stern. “Peter, you can’t–”

“Shuuuuhhh–” he shushed, waving his hand in her face. Aunt May rolled her eyes, looking at the screen and crossing her arms.

Rhodes looked around the workshop until he spotted Tony, fast asleep on the couch, his mushed against the arm. Jim sighed, but he smiled fondly. Of course , Tony had passed out down here. He’d been hoping to get the man to bed first, but he’d take what he could get.

He jumped as he felt something prod his back. He turned to find Dum-E, and he squinted at him, about to question him, but the bot simply nudged him again. “Dum-E, what the hell are you–”

But Dum-E just kept pushing him until he fell onto the couch right next to Tony. Jim looked at Dum-E incredulously. “What is going on?” he asked, but Dum-E simply picked up Jim’s arm, much to his bemusement, and gently dropped it onto his creator’s leg.

“Wha–?”

“Rhodes?”

Jim jumped, looking at Tony who was squinting blearily at Jim’s hand. On his leg. His thigh. Jim snatched up his hand like he’d been burned, an apology already on his tongue, but Tony seemed to shrug it off as he sluggishly sat up.

“No, Tones, go back to sleep.”

“Your hand was on my leg,” he said, looking at him in confusion. Or maybe he didn’t shrug it off.

“No, I just– Dum-E was–”

Tony interrupted him with a sigh. “Did Peter put you up to this?” he asked, rubbing his brow with his thumb and forefinger.

Jim’s eyebrows furrowed. “What are you talking about?”

Tony sighed again, slumping back against the couch. “Peter seems to think I need romance in my life. Or something. I caught him trying to–” A yawn cut him off, and Jim’s insides did a little twist at the way his faces scrunched up. “–I caught him trying to set me up. On a date.”

“On a date?” Jim repeated, squinting.

Tony nodded. “Yeah. With you. Like, candles and everything. I don’t even know. You know, I knew I was taking on a lot when I brought him in, but like, Jesus, I didn’t think I would have to deal with matchmaking. And terrible matchmaking apparently, because we’ve known each other for thirty years, if there was going to be any dating, we’d have done it already, it’s not like–”

An uncomfortable feeling settled in Jim’s gut. “Oh, so no secret pining I should know about?” he joked, grinning, trying to push the feeling away with pure will.

Tony let out a startled laugh, and Jim’s gaze flashed to Tony’s eyes, because that was Tony’s nervous laugh. He hadn’t heard it in a long time, but there was no doubt in his mind. Tony… Tony was nervous.

“You wish, honeybear,” Tony said, smirking. “Any secret pining I should worry about?” he asked.

Jim stared at Tony for a moment, eyeing him carefully. Finally, with his heart racing so fast he could feel it in his toes, he said, “Now, I never said worry.”

Tony tilted his head, squinting at Jim, now much more awake. “What?”

“I asked if there was any pining I should know about. I never said ‘worry,’” Jim repeated, mentally praying that he was right. Please, please let him be right.

After a moment of more staring and confusion, Tony said, “I don’t think I–”

“Tony, if I’m misreading this situation at all, tell me, but–”

“Wait, are you–?”

“Tony, listen, I’ve kind of–”

“Am I reading this right? You–?”

“ Yes, Tony, I really–”

“But you’re– we’ve never–”

“For the love of God, Tony, shut up,” Jim said, grabbing Tony’s face and kissing him.

Kissing him.

Holy shit.

By the way Tony went rigid, Jim could tell the genius was short-circuiting. He gently pulled away, eyeing him carefully. “Was that okay?” he asked quietly, letting his hands slip to Tony’s shoulders instead.

“I…” Tony muttered, looking lost.

“Tones, I just want to know. Was that okay?”

After a moment, Tony shuddered a sigh, shut his eyes, then opened them again and said, “I don’t know.”

Jim’s heart fumbled as he looked down, dropping his hands. Of course, he shouldn’t have–

“I might need you to try again.”

Jim looked up so fast, he could’ve gotten whiplash. “What?”

Tony smiled slowly, nervous but sly as well. “I might need you to try again. Just to make sure.”

A grin gradually formed on Jim’s lips as he repeated, “Just to make sure.”

“Just to make sure,” Tony said, nodding.

“You’re an idiot,” Jim said fondly, leaning in again, and fifteen miles away, Peter Parker cheered victoriously.

#iron husbands #james rhodes #tony stark #peter parker #i love them #pepper potts #may parker #dum-e #my writing

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