#spock just had NO REASON to bring it up so far

[spawksstuff]

Star Trek Logs 1991 MTV

De's Parts

McCoy: Well either choke me or cut my throat make up your mind

I’ll look at them and think, “God, were we ever that young?”

McCoy: I’m a doctor, not a bricklayer.

It was established that he originally came from Georgia.

McCoy: Hiya Jimmy boy. Hey, I’ve taken care of everything, now all y’all gotta do ‘s just relax. Doctor’s orders.

A guy, a homespun doctor, a country doctor. That had come aboard for one reason or another, some disappointment in his life brought him aboard into the service. He was not written as your military man. I think he was bringing him in as the conscious of our king, the catalyst so to speak.

Spock to him represented a computerized generation that was taking-everything was so far out-he hated to see this kind of thing come about where people don’t really care anymore, this cold way.

The fans used to refer to us, in the series, as a trinity.

That picture had a feel about it, and a scene in the movie before he dies he does this thing with me and says:

Spock: Remember

And I thought uh oh, you know, Leonard’s going to come to life.

You must remember they’re facing retirement. If you could do everything all over again, would you do this again? And I thought about it. I stood there and thought about it you know, for a while and I said, yes I would.

[t0ast-ghost]

So the thing is I wasn’t going to comment on the sixth episode. I just got home from a hella good play and I’m tired so I relax with Star Trek but holy shit

What IS that

With that HELLO and welcome to my first thoughts on the sixth episode (The Enemy Within) of the original Star Trek series

Here we go:

- that is a fucking dog

- IS THAT BLOOD?!? On Star Trek???

- so he got transporter cloned.. WHY IS HIS FACE LIKE THAT THO

- I like the fact it’s told a bit in retrospect, like it starts off with the star date and saying that at the time they didn’t know he got cloned

- MCCOY! His friendliness and then the “I have no sympathy for clumsiness” bro wha

- DONT YELL AT MCCOY

- McCoy not knowing what to do about Jim so he goes to Spock lol

- what the fuck is that fuckin thing, it’s rabid man.

- anytime someone is holding the creature there is literally no reason for them to be holding it. Like Kirk is just holding it and then HANDS IT TO SPOCK.. WHY IS THIS NORMAL NOW

- so do people casually just sit on tables here? First we had McCoy, now Spock. Is it just science/medical officers?

- Vulcan nerve pinch for the win

- POV your boyfriends are deeply concerned for your wellbeing (side note: bones looks so soft in the first pic. He cares so much)

- “you have a point, Spock.” “Yes. Always, doctor” STOP FLIRTING

- “If I seem insensitive to what you are going through, you must understand it’s the way I am.” HE SAYS THIS WITH ALL THE CARE IN THE DAMN WORLD. Spock is the most emotional character I have ever seen

- uh oh the circuits

- nooo Sulu! Do they not have better cold protection?

- YEAH I HOPE YOU’RE IN PAIN FUCKER

- so I think what they’re trying to promote is the idea that there’s the kind and indecisive side and the animalistic “sinful” side that has all the impulses and power to make decisions and together they work so that the former side can calm the latter to be more… civilized?

- “god forbid I have to agree with Spock” they’re married and you cannot convince me otherwise

- was that dog okay? Like it was really fuckin angry at something

- HES DEAD JIM MOMENT! WE HAVE A HES DEAD JIM MOMENT

- “for once I agree with you, doctor” THEY ARE MARRIED

- Spock is so riled up rn (every time he shows emotion I’m commenting on it because I think he is so so emotional but then his whole thing is he isn’t)

- SPOCK YOUR LOGIC ISNT LOGICING (having a human half and Vulcan half I think is a bit different than literally being split into two people, but what do I know)

- they are literally the angel and devil on his shoulder, but married, and also in love with him

- what no no bring Sulu back. That was such a good delivery of lines I am so

- this episode shows the power imbalance between Kirk and Janice and that messaging could be more powerful if they really wanted. Like showing how Janice felt forced to say she was okay with it and wouldn’t tell anyone because it was the captain I feel was a big step to take in the 60s (because it was rarely if ever talked about especially on tv) but it still wasn’t enough and was treated horribly in the end. They brush off her experience and also let Kirk be near her which is not okay. I know they wouldn’t but I wish they’d actually addressed the fact that Kirk can pretty much get away with anything and the crew wouldn’t/couldn’t stop him unless they deem it truly necessary (which would be way to far)

- I think the Kirk stuff could be more impactful

- some of those close ups on Kirk are crazy

- Bones is so damn worried about him in the transporter room

- SPOCK IS STRESSED AND HE HESITATES

- “the imposters back where he belongs, forget him” but isn’t the thing is that he is you? Like he’s still there and apart of you, Kirk

Okay, that’s episode six. I don’t have much more to say about this episode.

Ep 1

All other episodes

[1863-project]

One of the reasons I really don’t engage much with fandom spaces at all these days is just how much casual ableism there is in fandom spaces, a lot of which is internalized ableism. And unfortunately, when you try to explain this to people, they often don’t want to hear it or accept that the ideas they’ve latched onto are actually often pretty harmful to people in the real world.

An example, one of many: people have had theories on N being a Zoroark since Black and White first came out in 2010. That was ableist then, and it’s ableist now - the changeling myth is thought to be rooted in children turning out to be neurodivergent (especially autistic), and if you’re looking at a human character that feels neurodivergent-coded and going “What if they’re not human?” it’s...well, neurodivergent people are already dehumanized in the real world. We’re so often treated as less than human that having a character who comes across as neurodivergent suddenly being not human can feel like a slap in the face to our own humanity.

(Ironically, neurodivergent people often found representation in non-human characters before human characters with neurodivergent traits started popping up in media - this goes back at least to the half-human, half-Vulcan Spock in Star Trek, and possibly far, far further. But that’s a topic for another time.)

Every time I see a character who feels pretty damn neurodivergent, I also see a wide chunk of the fandom interpret their neurodivergent traits really negatively, and it hurts. I don’t engage with the Submas fandom anymore outside of answering people’s train questions that they bring to me because enough people in said fandom looked at Emmet, a character who is more like me than any other fictional character I’ve ever seen in my life, and decided he was scary and unhinged, creepy because of the way he talks when he isn’t close to someone, potentially violent because of his intensity. He’s none of these things, he’s just one of the most autistic characters to ever be written. But the damage was done, because when I saw people treating a character just like me like that...well, it basically told me how they saw me, too.

I graduated high school way, way back in 2007. Some of the people on this website now weren’t alive back then. I wouldn’t get my autism diagnosis for two more years, and all I knew was that I was somehow different from the kids around me, and so many of them had bullied me for this. I was treated horribly because I was intense about my interests, talked differently, walked differently, and acted differently from them. It more or less went on for my entire time in school before I got to undergrad. That shit stays with you. I had this notion that this was how everyone saw me, and that still sits in the back of my mind in my 30s. It’s actually one of the things that prevents me from trying dating, because my bullies were primarily my male peers growing up. It was so important for me to see Ingo and Emmet being themselves and being accepted as themselves, because it meant that maybe people could accept me, too. Except then PLA dropped, and a bunch of new people came rushing in...and enough of them reacted in ways similar to how my bullies did when I was younger, so I had to disengage because it hurt too much.

And the cycle continues with every new character that takes the stage. Nemona debuted in Scarlet and Violet, and once you get more of her backstory in the later game and eventually the postgame you realize she sounds like a neurodivergent person surrounded by neurotypicals. I’ve seen headcanons of autism, ADHD, and a few other neurodivergencies, all of which were definitely people relating to her experiences with their own - Geeta even introduces the “weird girl” to the “new kid” at the beginning of the game in the hopes that she’ll make a friend, a common experience for neurodivergent kids growing up. But then I started seeing people calling her a yandere, and they weren’t joking, and I knew that people who related to Nemona who saw that were going to feel hurt the way I did with people taking Emmet’s autistic traits so negatively.

Fandom spaces tend to be online bubbles, so to speak, and people don’t often realize the impact that these attitudes have in the real world. It’s important for people to have representation and see themselves in the media they interact with, because that’s extremely affirming and validating. Seeing a fictional character just like you being accepted for who they are goes a long, long way when you’re being bullied for who you are in your real life. When you see a bunch of people looking at those harmless traits of yours that people bully you for and interpret them in ways that portray you as scary, creepy, or even unhinged and dangerous...it does damage.

I think about people with psychosis. I think about how media has portrayed them throughout the ages, and how stigmatized they are as a result. I think about people with personality disorders, about people with OCD (of which I’m one myself), about autistic people and ADHD people and people with Tourette’s and other tic disorders, about plural people/systems...the list can go on, and on, and on, and this post doesn’t even touch upon physical disabilities and how ableist fandom spaces can be to them, too (cons being physically difficult to navigate are just one challenge of many they face). I think about how desperate we’ve all been to see ourselves as characters - nuanced characters that feel like real people, not caricatures. The days of the “evil, unhinged schizophrenic” need to be over. We know people with disabilities and mental illnesses are more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators; we have so many studies affirming this. And yet the rest of the world is taking a long time to catch up on this.

Sometimes, you’re 12 years old and you make an edgy OC who wears a straitjacket because they like to stab people, and then you get a little older and you realize that was pretty ableist and you grow and change as a person. That’s normal - you’re learning about the world around you and learning how to be more kind. But if someone who’s out there in the real world explains why something is ableist towards their disability or mental illness, and they provide examples, that’s not the moment you double down and act like you can do no wrong and that everything you’ve written is fine. It’s supposed to be a learning moment for you, a chance to step back and try to do better. And this especially applies to internalized ableism - like I said, so many fandom spaces are heavily neurodivergent, and the internalized ableism I’ve encountered in fandom spaces has grown substantially with the rise of social media. Sometimes the call is coming from inside the house, and we need to be mindful of how we’re portraying people like ourselves, too.

I think it’s a good idea to really try to be aware as we engage with others in fandom spaces and try not to perpetrate harmful stereotypes or portrayals, and becoming more thoughtful and nuanced about how we depict characters is a big part of that. If you’re writing something edgy just for yourself, that’s for you, and you don’t really have to think too hard about it. But if you’re sharing it in a public space, remember that anyone can encounter it, and it might do damage you’re not really thinking about. It’s important to remember that the internet is a public space, too, just like the places we go in real life, and that we should carry ourselves the way we would if we were interacting in person - we need to try to be respectful, and accept feedback and improve things when we accidentally aren’t.

As an extra reminder, here’s a great graphic from Sonny Jane Wise on Instagram that shows just how many things fit under the neurodivergent umbrella:

Please do your best to do no harm, but if you accidentally do, please listen to the people who are being harmed and want to help you do better.

[councilman-horsemeat]

The Greatest Star Trek Characters, Ranked

I was recently reading a few articles ranking the various Star Trek characters and got really infuriated. I started punching my solid wood table until my fists were blooded and filled with splinter. Kirk, Spock, Picard- who gives a shit? There was no flavor, no spice to these lists. After taking a long walk and eating some meal, I decided I oughta make my own. Here it goes; In no particular order, so they're not actually ranked at all.

Sylvia Tilly Star Trek: Discovery is full of people whose lives have sucked, in a way which reflects their outlook on life. Some are hardened, some burdened, some both. Sylvia Tilly offers a delightful contrast to these characters. I’m not through the first season of Discovery yet, but I hope she and Michael Burnham become best friends forever.

Mobar (Fake Tuvok) Part of a criminal group that travels the Delta quadrant scamming various strangers through various schemes. Mobar and his friend Dala ended up acting as Tuvok and Janeway, fooling hapless aliens into joining the “Federation”, which meant little more than handing over their starships or cargo. Mobar ended up getting WAY into character, oftentimes chastising his fellow criminals for not adhering to Starfleet protocols. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough to make him not a criminal, and in the end he went down like a chump. RIP to a legend. I don’t think he died but whatever.

Dax (Jadzia, Ezri and Curzon/Odo) Jadzia Dax, our first true look into what trill really are. The fusion of Jadzia and Dax created a woman with wisdom far beyond her years, enough to make her approach life in a very confident, laid-back way. This, along with her highly analytical mind and charm, would have made her a perfect ship’s captain. Gone too soon.

On the other hand, I really liked Ezri Dax too. I’m conflicted, because seeing what it’s like for an unprepared, naive trill to be joined (despite never training to) was really interesting, and I even wish we got more than just the one season with her- but I also wish Jadzia could have been around for the finale.

When they were temporarily joined in a trill ritual, Curzon brought a certain down-in-the-dirt, slob attitude to the usually uptight Odo. I really liked him. He could have been less of a pervert.

Bearded Geordi LaForge Beautiful. Majestic. Just a touch of rogueish charm. Too bad he only had it for two episodes and like some movies or whatever.

Mirror Sarek I understand WHY he has a goatee. They needed to make him visually distinct from normal Sarek and it’s an homage to mirror Spock from way back when. The problem is that the homage only works if you didn’t already think mirror Spock’s goatee is funny as hell. They also call him the prophet for some reason. All in all a weird guy, which means I like him.

Neelix He brought a genuine heart of gold to the crew of the voyager when they needed it the most. A rock, a true friend and a shoulder to lean on. His friendship with Tuvok allowed him to occasionally bring out a different side of the indomitable vulcan. I also liked that his eye color randomly changed with no in-show explanation.

T’pring Spock’s almost-wife T’pring probably has the quickest turnaround from “WTF why is she so needlessly brutal” to “she’s a genius and she’s so logical” of any Star Trek character. She will always have my respect.

Sela It’s just really funny to me that she had all that buildup on top of already being the return of a written-off main character’s actor. And then like, nothing happened.

Kai Winn Opaka There’s something so incredibly about Louise Fletcher’s performance as Kai Winn in the later seasons that I sometimes have a hard time putting into words. She just captures the self-righteous, holier-than-thou, but also absolutely desparate character in such a captivating way- while also maintaining this underlying confidence and power.

“Klingon Chef” Deep Space Nine’s resident Klingon chef/opera singer showed a side of Klingon culture we don’t often see - the civilian side. He truly made the most of his few appearances, and I will always love him for it.

Seven of Nine (Possessed) Maybe it’s because of Seven’s usually stoic, reserved demeanour, but seeing Jeri Ryan take on the exaggerated personalities of a Klingon warrior, a Ferengi DaiMon, and the EMH of the USS Voyager amongst others, was one hell of a lot of fun. Enough fun to end up on this list! Unfortunately, not enough for that Oscar nom. Next time!

Dr. Michael Dingo Dingo’s brief stint as nurse aboard the Enterprise-D established him as little more than a grumpy old man, but he really shone after his promotion to main cast member and CMO of the USS Pioneer. His usual snarky personality being torn down upon meeting his long-believed-to-be-dead wife went down as one of my favorite moments in all of Star Trek. His refusal to poison the crew on behalf of his madly sick captain gave me goosebumps.

Lwaxana Troi She started out as no more than “Deanna Troi’s Annoying Mom” but evolved into so much more across her many appearances. Absolutely wonderfully played by Majel Barrett, the writers explore many facets of sorrow, motherhood, and what it means to grow old. I also believe that she should have ended up with Odo instead of Nerys, but whatev.

Falow The leader of the Wadi, a gamma quadrant species that value various types of games above all else. He and his entourage visit Deep Space Nine and end up throwing the main cast INTO a highly-advanced video game where they think they’ll actually die, but it’s actually just a game. What I like most is that he truly looks like the Most Advanced Gamer. If I was a highly advanced space-gamer this is what I would want to look like.

Riker Picard’s number one actually features on a lot of these lists. They usually list his loyalty or how cool he is or whatever. I’m mostly interested in his absolutely off-the-charts adventurous spirit. He was the first starfleet officer to serve aboard a klingon ship and was GLAD to eat gagh. When he learned that a trill symbiont needed a new host he practically jumped at the chance, despite the fact that no human had ever hosted a trill symbiont before. And he had absolutely no shame in wearing his slutty outfit in ‘Angel One’. There’s many similarities between Riker and Kirk, but Kirk would never have worn it so proudly.

Horny/drunk-ish Picard Patrick Stewart’s performance as a pseudo-drunk and very horny Jean-Luc Picard in The Naked Now has seared itself into my mind forever. It’s like he’s screaming, but also whispering, and sort of putting on an accent? Deciding just how to portray the usually stoic captain so completely out of his element must have been quite the challenge, and Patrick Stewart ended up making some very inspired choices.

Alyssa Ogawa She may not have done much more than help out in medbay every now and then, but the conversations between her and Crusher were the first to show that the main crew actually DO have friends outside the “inner circle”. Does that truly earn her a spot on a list of the greatest Star Trek characters of all time? Probably not but I don’t really care and neither should you.

Grand Nagus Zek Every time he got more screentime I remembered how much I loved his dumbass voice. His shrill bleating is hilarious, and every time he shows up I can’t wait to find out what his latest scheme is. His behavior towards women is regrettable, but that’s true for a lot of Star Trek men and unlike most of them, Zek actually sort-of changes.

Ishka And who is Zek without Rom and Quark’s moogie Ishka? Despite the usual underestimatable Ferengi personality traits, I genuinely believe Ishka could have one of the highest power levels in all of Star Trek canon. Women not even having the right to wear clothes has been a part of Ferengi culture for centuries and she managed to turn it around COMPLETELY in a handful of years. If she put her mind to it, I genuinely believe she could have brokered peace between the Cardassians and Bajorans, and that’s on the prophets.

Jae Yeah, I got a bit of a crush on this frankly random Enterprise-D crewmember. I think she’s friends with Picard? She sat next to him at a poetry reading once. I’m not sure if she even had any speaking lines.

[ikuzeminna]

In my previous post I talked about the women of Gundam Wing not being treated as awards or reasons for man pain for the guys and I’m actually a little surprised that no one so far called me out on Meilan because at first glance, she falls right into that category. Because her death is specifically there to motivate Wufei and do nothing else. No one else knows about her, her death doesn’t affect anyone or anything else.

Except for her grandma who is apparently still so grief-stricken she blows up her entire colony. Thanks for more trauma, Master Long.

But I guess I’m gonna call myself out here then and derail this into a meta about Meilan’s portrayal actually being male-coded. Apparently I’m also gonna make up words while doing so lol

What do I mean? Let’s first clear up what I meant when I said the Wing women aren’t used for man pain. Man pain is quite an umbrella term that’s supposed to describe any instance of the narrative portraying a male’s emotional pain be of a higher magnitude than anyone else’s within his story. Especially women’s.

In my post I was referring to the very specific case where a woman’s suffering is stripped from her narratively and made exclusively a guy’s problem, to the point it only exists if it’s in relation to him. Think Gwen Stacy’s death affecting Spiderman or 2009‘s Spock’s mom dying or Aang burning Katara and then moping about never firebending again, necessitating her comforting him about his (accidental) assault on her. messed up doesn’t even begin to cover that last one The girl with the puppy is actually an example of this in Wing because her death only exists to make Heero feel bad. She isn't even given a name. The most classic example really is a guy’s mom dying though and him being forever sad about it. It’s the easy way for the writer to give his manly man something to cry over without making him a wimp. Otherwise Kira from Gundam Seed would be more popular.

But when we get asked to name a famous fictional death, I think most people will pick Mufasa, the prime example ever of a death affecting the audience. And it makes sense. Because not only was Mufasa a good parent, who sacrificed his life to save his son, Simba’s entire hero’s journey is basically living up to his father’s example. It's what drives the story.

And that’s the difference between men and women dying in fiction, especially parents. If a mother dies, it’s something to be sad over (i.e. Spock). If a father dies, it’s a legacy to uphold (i.e. Kirk). Simba is never worried about living up to Sarabi’s expectations. Hiccup spends three movies trying not to shame his father. Katniss won’t shut up about what a great person her dad was even though her mom is right there, being the medic for her entire district, but never being worth emulating in any way.

The same goes if it’s just a friend. A female friend’s death is a devastating event, a male friend’s death is a call to not let his sacrifice be in vain.

Which brings us back to Meilan. Meilan may have been written as just a device to give Wufei a tragic backstory, which lands her squarely in man pain territory, but narratively she is the same category as Mufasa, influencing Wufei to the degree he changes his entire way of life to live up to her memory and hold himself accountable during the series when he fails to do so, which yanks her right out of it again.

Besides, Wufei never goes around openly mourning her death. It’s hidden in aggressiveness and weird sexism towards Noin and his odd reverence of his Gundam. I love that it was supposed to be a secret that would have been revealed at the middle of the series, just like everyone else’s backstories, had the schedule not been crazy, giving us the recap episodes instead. Alas...

But this is one of the reasons I love Gundam Wing so much. The colony leader Heero Yuy and the late King Peacecraft may be revered figures within its universe, but by the end of the series, and definitely by EW, the person the entire galaxy admires is Relena. A girl. Which is completely deserved for all the things she manages to pull off, mind you.

I love most that Heero admiring Relena also has a very personal aspect to it. He knows her. He knows how bullheaded she can be. She’s not an abstract to him, he’s intimately familiar with that Gundanium backbone of hers. That scene on Libra where they keep throwing compliments at each other is great. Relena tries to transfer her accomplishments to Heero, playing into narrative tradition of gender roles here where the guy always gets all the glory, no matter how competent the girl may have been (glaring at you here, Hiccup and Astrid >_>) and Heero, the show’s male protagonist, bounces it right back, telling her he is nothing compared to her, landing a sweet blow to narrative sexism.

Gundam Wing is a weird little show where I don’t know if one could call it feminist considering how every woman is assigned to a man, with Treize and Zechs and Duo and Wufei standing above their female counterparts due to their strength or lineage or because they’re the series’ Char clone, but within the roles it assigned to everyone, it does a wonderful job of not being sexist about them. Une is portrayed as more competent than Treize, who is more of an opportunist. Zechs outright says Noin is better than him. Wufei won’t shut up about Nataku and what a failure he is. It's like the show apologizes for being Gundam and made in the 90s, explaining why the pilots and big bads all have to be male, but they'll make the female characters as cool as they can to make up for it. Here, have some Sally and Noin being a badass duo or Relena and Dorothy carrying the philosophical debate during the Cinq arc.

....Except Hilde. I got nothing here because her and Duo are classic gender roles to a T, haha. But at least Duo is not being a jerk about it, which is more than can be said about most fictional guys trying to dictate a female’s actions. Duo lets Hilde make her own decisions.

[aurumacadicus]

1 FOR SPONES *rabies noises*

I just think that Spock should be able to punch Jim for Leonard once. As a treat.

--

Leonard had not originally been one of the few Starfleet medical officers who was privy to the biology of Vulcans. He hadn’t cared at the time. Spock had imparted the basics of how to treat him in the rare event of injury, and that had been enough for him.

Things had changed since then, Spock thought, hands placed on either side of Leonard’s head as he kept him crowded against the wall to his room. Leonard had started looking at the muted creams and browns of his wings speculatively. He’d put a replicated cup of coffee at Spock’s elbow sometimes, no matter the time of day. His blue feathers would ruffle in approval whenever Spock said something positive to him, although no one was stupid enough to bring attention to it.

Leonard had learned enough about Vulcans on his own to figure out how to turn his courtship bobbing into the bowing that Spock’s people preferred, and Spock had ruffled his feathers at him in acquiescence.

Things had changed, Spock thought, metal creaking ominously under his hands.

“I thought you weren’t due pon farr for a few more years,” Leonard finally said, throat bobbing with a hard swallow.

It was distracting. Spock found himself having to tear his gaze from the nervous up-and-down of Leonard’s Adam’s apple as if it physically pained him, eyes lingering on the other man’s lips as his tongue darted out to wet them. “There are so few Vulcans in Starfleet that they don’t yet have regulations for this. So far, the expected action is for me to discreetly tell the captain of my ship so that I may take medical leave. I am asking whether you will be joining me for the duration, so I can best plan for the extent of my removal from duty.”

Leonard looked down between their bodies uncertainly. “Would it be safe?”

“Doctor,” Spock said, fighting the urge to grit his teeth. He’d hoped that using the honorific would make his mind realize that he still needed to show restraint, that his pon farr hadn’t actually started yet. It didn’t work. “I assure you my mother was never injured in her relationship with my father.”

“Okay,” Leonard said quickly, uncharacteristically agreeable. “I just—would it be, like. The same as always, or. I don’t know what goes on during pon farr. So. I mean, the literature just… literally isn’t there. For me to read.”

Spock couldn’t help but narrow his eyes at him skeptically. “If you need the literature to make an informed decision, I can let you borrow some of my files,” he finally said, slowly, as if he’d be able to parse Leonard’s feelings any better if he gave himself more time to watch him. Leonard just nodded in response, though, a touch frantically even. “It will not be the same as always,” he added, because while Leonard would learn that in the files Spock sent him, he could cut through that expectation quickly now. “This is a biological imperative to mate. There is nothing slow or intimate about it. I will not be the receiving partner. If you join me, I will be taking what I need.”

It took Spock a moment to realize that he’d drastically miscalculated. He watched, stunned, as Leonard pulled his bottom lip between his teeth the way he always did when Spock did something that he found attractive but knew Spock wouldn’t understand his reasoning. His pupils dilated. His weight shifted from foot to foot, making their bodies brush together in a way that made something primal and possessive thrum happily. Leonard wasn’t frightened of him. He didn’t find Spock’s pon farr-driven desires confusing or repulsive.

He was aroused.

“Leonard,” Spock said carefully, proud of how level and calm his voice sounded even as the metal panels under his fists creaked and crumpled further. “Your eyes are already saying yes. Now, I just need your mouth to tell me the same. This is important. I need your verbal confirmation.”

Leonard sucked in a deep breath, finally dragging his gaze away to stare at something behind him. “I have to say it?”

“Yes. I need to hear the words,” Spock answered, even though he felt guilty for forcing the point. Leonard had difficulty asking for what he wanted, to the point that he’d just give up on it. He hadn’t been able to ask Spock to be intimate; instead, he’d let his raised wings and quivering feathers do the talking for him. He’d learned, later in their relationship, that Leonard didn’t like leaving himself vulnerable. Giving voice to his wants gave someone the opportunity to hurt him. And Spock understood. The ripples of hurt from his divorce still sometimes made Leonard physically flinch.

“Please,” Spock whispered. There was only a hint of desperation in his voice. He needed to hear a yes. He needed to hear Leonard consent with words. Otherwise, once his neurochemicals stabilized again, he’d feel like a monster. He needed to know that Leonard understood what this meant.

Leonard’s wings fluttered, and Spock felt his heart sink into a pit in his stomach. He wouldn’t be able to accept a flaring of wings, a quivering of feathers. He needed the words.

“I,” Leonard began, eyes dropping to the floor.

“It’s okay, Leonard,” Spock told him gently. He tried to force his hands to relax, but the metal had warped around his fingers.

Leonard slanted a look up at him out of the corner of his eye. Then he turned to face him again, chin jutting up, jaw clenched. “Yes.”

Spock blinked, surprised. It took a moment for it to really register. “Yes?” he repeated, and he could hear the thread of wonder in his own voice.

“This is my mouth agreeing with my eyes. Yes,” Leonard answered, and there was the irritation Spock was used to. “Are you going to make me say it in Vulcan? Ha.”

“Fuck,” Spock breathed, and Leonard’s wings finally flew up, eyes wide and surprised at his overwhelmed curse even as his feathers quivered invitingly. “You can tell Jim later.”

“Oh yeah?” Leonard began, sounding immensely pleased with himself.

Spock pulled his hands free of the wall with the sound of more metal crumpling, followed by the faint ‘fzzt’ of something electrical, so he could hook his hands under Leonard’s thighs and haul him up against his body, forcing Leonard to wrap his legs around his waist. For good measure, he threw his wings back to mirror Leonard’s, so he had no doubt what was about to happen.

Leonard let out a quiet, sort of… swooning noise, hips hitching forward into Spock’s stomach once, twice—before he fell limp in Spock’s arms.

.-.

“God, this could only happen to you,” Jim said, trying not to look delighted and failing, as Chapel used a tricorder to check the extent of the abrasions on Leonard’s head.

Spock considered what he could say to get Jim to stop teasing him as quickly as possible. He watched as Leonard swatted at Chapel’s hand irritably and got his own slapped away in response. He swallowed the desire to growl at her for hurting his prospective mate. “Captain. I fear I have miscalculated the timing of my… requested leave.”

“Aw,” Jim answered immediately, frowning. “Well, now I feel bad about teasing you. Well, Bones’s still here.” He swiveled. “Did you really get so horny you passed out?”

Leonard’s wings flew up in a threat display. “Shut up, Jim.” Jim opened his mouth, and Leonard growled, “Shut up, Jim.”

“Huh?” Jim began, then turned.

It was only as Jim’s eyes met his that Spock realized his hand was up to give him a nerve pinch. “…My apologies, Captain,” he said, but even to his own ears, he didn’t sound apologetic at all.

“Ah. Well,” Jim said, taking a careful step away from him. “Anyway. Just send me the dates and—” He paused, then smirked, glancing back at him. “Shall we add a week’s leave for Bones to physically recover?”

“Kill him, Spock,” Leonard said, and Chapel nodded approvingly.

It took two steps for Spock to get control of himself again, and he allowed himself a moment to scowl as he turned and left the sickbay to return to his room. He flapped his wings as he went, knowing his span would accidentally knock into Jim, and he couldn’t help the thrum of pride that went through him when Leonard out a crow of vindicated laughter as Jim let out a squawk and slammed into the opposite wall.

[worflesbian]

things i liked about strange new worlds:

the costumes (aside from the starfleet uniform) were so intricate and cool!

the alien designs, especially the practical effects and makeup, were inventive but not overdone

it tried to take a lighter tone than the prevailing edginess of current sci fi, there were some fun moments and genuinely good character stuff bc of that

things i disliked about strange new worlds:

okay i've got to give the context of the journey i went on with this one. i didn't initially like how chapel, uhura and t'pring were written bc the first two were basically brand new characters and t'pring's inclusion messes with continuity so badly, but i found myself being won over by the seemingly honest intention to give more screentime and depth to the otherwise underutilised women of 60s trek. that's an admirable goal! i didn't like how they had to rewrite uhura and chapel's personalities to achieve it but i still respected the intention. until several things became clear to me: firstly, the writers of snw are far better at lighthearted writing than serious drama, and secondly, they cover up that deficit by taking their cues from soap operas. i think other people have mentioned that giving every single character a tragic backstory is not a shortcut for writing realistic sympathetic people (this was the main problem they had with uhura), and that relationship drama and love triangles is not a solution to not knowing what to do with your female characters (the main problem with chapel and t'pring), but it stands to be said again because it's so fucking frustrating! why bring in uhura only to kill off her loved ones and make her suffer needlessly? why bring in t'pring under the guise of developing her relationship with spock only to have him leave her for chapel? why bring in chapel and rewrite her as a hashtag girlboss looking to advance her career if she's theoretically going to end up still a nurse on the enterprise pining for spock by tos? there's no reason or purpose to the plotlines so they just feel aimless

m'benga, una and la'an also suffered from needless tragedies, as well as the writers' difficulty tackling serious subject matter. i liked the plotline with m'benga's daughter and the pre-holodeck holodeck episode that concluded it, but the man got no time to grieve or adjust to the loss before they threw him into a war trauma plotline. una's main character moment was a weaker version of several stronger trial episodes in past trek that came very close to saying something slightly challenging (to the average trek viewer) about race but apparently forgot the real reason that eugenics are bad, and have been bad long before fictional warlord khan noonien-singh was on the scene. la'an's gorn trauma plotline was, like many of snw's "serious" episodes, ripped directly from better sci fi. like i could've been watching aliens. aliens is a good film. ortegas got very little to do and pike isn't really worth talking about as i think the writers know he's not that interesting and tend to sideline him anyway, so aside from hemmer (rip) and spock (it's all been said) that's the full cast and it's all pretty disappointing!

i'll also say that while i enjoyed the lighthearted episodes more, the only one that i felt was actually warranted or contributed meaningfully the overall season was the body swap episode in s1, but then in s2 they repeated the same formula with a far weaker episode so even that's lost its shine for me. politically the show is a mess as many others have explained (the whole gorn thing...) and when it comes close to making a point it always seems to flinch away into a marketing-approved federation optimism that feels way more sinister than it ever did in tng for the fact that it's obviously Trying to keep you from thinking too deeply about anything. the number of gimmick episodes they've already done in two short seasons is indicative of a fundamental lack of substance that they're trying to cover up with whimsy but it just feels unearned and imbalanced. shallow hijinks or vapid angst, void of meaning.

so yeah now that discovery's concluded with its fifth season, stp is dead and gone, and prodigy is cancelled it's only strange new worlds and lower decks left and although i believe lower decks relies a lot on references to older trek (i've not seen it) it's not inserted itself awkwardly into some past era of the timeline, nor is it bogged down with legacy characters, meaning strange new worlds is the last remaining pillar of the reboot remake rehash industrial complex in current trek and i hope you'll join me in wishing for its downfall 🤞

[crowzwrites]

Day 5 of mcspirk week - tender

Ao3

Content warnings: Blood and injury

@mcspirkevents

Yeah I’m a bit behind, I’m trying lol.

didn’t have time to check thru it so I shall tomorrow haha

Spock and Jim along with some other science officers had beamed down to a new planet that required further study and exploration as the scans did not reveal much of anything apart from that the atmosphere is breathable and that it’s rich in plant life. The sky is a light green hue whilst the deciduous forest that emcompasses much of the planet is a blue colour, an opposite to Earth. The vast diversity of the planet's vegetation is astounding and if he had the time to document every piece of it he would, however the stars call to him as do his partners.

So perhaps Spock is a little excited to observe the planet closer and bring back samples to the ship so that he can examine them. Jim smiles at him warmly when they beam down, he breathes in the fresh air and takes a step forward. The bluegrass crunching under their boots. Two other science officers have beamed down with them and they start taking recordings of the vast data around them. Obviously Kirk is here just to support Spock as he usually does even if there is no logical reason for him to be. McCoy had no reason to join them today and had made them promise not to get into trouble this time otherwise he’d kill them, illogical as always.

Speaking of interesting fauna, he comes across some small glowing mushrooms and other luminescent plants. Kirk crouches down next to him then gently touches the shroom.

“Huh cool.” he says nonchalantly, he glances at him.

“Indeed. I do not believe I have seen a planet with this many bioluminescent plants, fascinating.” Spock starts to explain more about the readings he’s taken and Kirk listens intently as if he’s talking about the most interesting thing ever, he feels Jim’s affection for him.

“Love it when you nerd out on me, I love you Spock.”

Jim looks over his shoulder for a moment, no doubt to check whether anyone is around. There isn't. Jim kisses him tenderly and brings a hand up to caress his ear softly. All is quiet aside from the wind blowing through the trees, Spock breaks the kiss to look at Jim and appreciate the human for all he’s worth. Those beautiful blue eyes staring back at him with so much love in them.

Then he hears a noise not so far away from them. It’s a scream.

Spock and Kirk are on their feet immediately, rushing towards the shrill of terror to find a thorny vine latching onto Lieutenant Sarin. She’s trying to rip her arm away but only making the thorns dig deeper into her skin. Kirk grabs his phaser and shoots at it, a direct hit, making the fine retreat away from Sarin. Green blood soaks her arm and she’s panting, the other officer - Ensign Tamar helps her stand up. Spock is about to call for an emergency transport but the vine knocks it out his hand as if it knows what he is going to do.

“Run!” Kirk shouts to the two officers.

Then the vines latch onto his ankles and dig into his skin, causing him to fall over and scream at the agony of the thorns in his skin. He can feel Jim’s panic through their bond, he curses. Trying to keep still so that his partner can shoot the vines but quickly they make their way up his legs and then Jim is thrown onto the floor and crying out when the vines lock up his hands so he can’t shoot. Spock grabs Jim’s hand and holds it tightly, he blocks out Jim’s agony and his own temporarily so he can think clearly for a moment. Then he feels a foreign entity in his mind, an instinctual drive to protect itself from danger and a fear of the unknown beings coming close to it. Spock gasps as the thorns dig deeper.

He realises that the vines are sentient to a certain degree and are reacting purely out of drive to protect it from danger. Spock opens his eyes, now the vines are snaking up his abdomen, he reaches down and puts two fingers against the plant. He’s unable to initiate a proper mind meld with it and instead sends a message that he is not a threat and does not mean any harm and nor does his crewmates, that they only wanted to learn about it.

For a moment nothing happens, then the thorns retract out of his skin and the vines slink away. He sighs in relief and looks over to Jim who is also being freed. Crimson blood stains Kirk’s arms, his sleeves shredded to pieces much like his trousers, his own emerald blood dripping down his legs. Through their joined hands he can feel Jim’s pain but he can’t block it out any longer lest he pass out. Spock grunts as he tries to get up. Thankfully the two officers return and help them both up, then they beam up quickly.

McCoy is pacing worriedly when they all beam back. For once they are spared the usual lecture as they require immediate medical care. He, Kirk and Sarin are wheeled off to sickbay hastily, McCoy has Chapel treat Sarin whilst he treats them. Spock can feel the anger and worry emanate from the Doctor, who treats them both with a regenerator. First Kirk gets his arms treated, McCoy carefully cleans the blood away. Jim winces as his skin is knitted back together and gets a quick kiss on the cheek before he turns to Spock and sighs as he begins taking off his trousers. Kirk’s shirt had already been ruined and the sleeves had been ripped off so there wasn’t a need for it to be cut up. The doctor had put them in a private room. Slowly, McCoy cuts into his trousers and removes them along with his boots.

“So what the hell happened down there then?” he huffs.

“We were attacked by some vines that appear to have some level of awareness and perhaps are sentient. I will have to conduct-“

“The hell you will! You’re not going back down to that planet again.” McCoy glares at him, he pokes one of Spocks injuries as he’s cleaning them which makes him wince. “You really wanna risk becoming injured more? Damn Vulcans and their research.. Ah sorry Spock, I’m just-“

“I understand, Leonard. I do not think they will attack us again as I conveyed that we are not a threat and simply want to learn more about them.” he scrunches his nose up when Leonard starts using the regenerator on him, it’s an odd feeling

“I promise we’ll be more careful next time, Bones” Kirk puts a reassuring hand on the doctor's shoulder and Spock puts his hand over Kirk’s.

“Ah I can’t stay mad at either of you can I?” he rolls his eyes but puts Socks thigh as he gets up. McCoy gives him a soft kiss on his forehead and repeats the gesture with Jim, Spock knows the stubborn man means well and genuinely worried about them.

Both he and Kirk get a change of clothes and then they’re heading back to Jim’s quarters. Not long after they eat, they all end up in bed and falling asleep in each other's arms.

[thesconesyard]

Yeehaw! I really, really, really wanted to make the uranium fit. With my fascination with all that is nuclear, uranium was the perfect, perfect prompt. Alas! With the unofficially Old West setting of my tale, it just did not fit with the timeline of uranium’s boom in the States. So, I substituted for what would have been a more likely Old West boom theme.

When the Cactus Blooms

24. Uranium Fever

“They found gold on the Herndorff place.”

Sulu’s statement had everyone at the table looking at him. He had gone to town that morning for some supplies and the mail.

“Everyone was buzzing about it at Gaila’s.”

“And what were you doing at Gaila’s?” Uhura asked with a wry smile.

“Catching up on the gossip of course,” Sulu smiled broadly back.

“That’s the saloon in town,” McCoy saw Chekov whisper to Jaylah.

“Uh huh,” Uhura laughed.

“Someone may have asked me to pick up a bottle of something for them while I was in town,” Sulu continued, and many sets of eyes looked down at McCoy.

“Hey!” he laughed in surprise. “It wasn’t me!”

“Sure Bones,” Jim said, eyes twinkling.

“Who it was is between me and them,” Sulu said.

“So what is happening at Herndorff’s?” Spock asked. “More searching? Mining?”

“Oh please don’t let it start a boom,” Christine groaned.

“We’ve had too much unlawfulness as it is lately,” Scotty agreed.

McCoy couldn’t help but see John Harrison’s and Krall’s faces behind his eyelids as he took a deep breath.

“They’re going to do some more searching, see if they can find more. Prospect a bit,” Sulu finally answered Spock.

“Well, good luck to them,” Jim said.

“What did you have Sulu bring?” McCoy asked as he and Scotty walked along the creek.

“Me?” Scotty asked, feigning surprise.

“Yes you,” McCoy laughed. “I know that glint in your eye and I saw it when Sulu said.”

“I’ve been drinking all your whisky, thought it was time to pay back the favor, so I had him get me some. Though,” he said quietly, “it’s never quite as good as at home.”

McCoy thought for a moment.

“Len?”

“Hmm? Oh. You always call it home. Isn’t here home now?”

“Well- yes- but—”

“But you want to go back someday,” McCoy finished. His heart skipped in his chest and his shoulders grew heavy.

“I would like to,” Scotty whispered. “But I cannae can I? Not if I want Robbie safe.”

“I’m sorry darlin’. I wish I could do something to help.”

“You do love, you do.”

A few mornings later Jaylah came racing around the corner to the shade of the stables. She was out of breath, and collapsed in a heap next to McCoy.

“What is it?” McCoy cried, looking at her worried and already reaching to take her pulse.

Jaylah looked up and opened her hand. It was dripping for some reason, and in the center of her palm sat something, gleaming pale yellow.

Around her everyone looked on in surprise.

“Where…!?” Jim exclaimed.

“The creek… I… I was walking…” Jaylah panted out.

“Catch your breath first,” McCoy insisted.

Jaylah took a few deep breaths and Chekov brought her some water.

“I was walking along the creek, past the big tree the doctor likes to sit at with Montgomery Scotty—”

McCoy felt his face warm at that and saw Scotty’s cheeks color as well. Jim raised a cocky eyebrow at him.

“—and I saw it in the water. Is it really what I think?” she demanded.

Spock took the rock from her hand and looked it over closely.

“As far as I can tell, yes. It is gold.” He handed it to Jim.

“Christine isn’t going to like this,” Jim said with a laugh.

“What do we do?” Chekov asked.

“See if there’s more lad!” Scotty said eagerly.

Jim sighed, and McCoy looked over.

“What is it kid?” he asked.

“As much as it would be good for the ranch,” Jim said slowly, “it would change things too. It definitely warrants a better look, but I think it’s a decision for all of us to make. We all live here.” He stood up. “But for now, come on, let’s go look. We can decide after we see if there’s gonna be more.”

Jaylah took another drink and then began to lead the way to where she had found the gold.

“So that’s it,” Jim finished at dinner. He had filled everyone in on Jaylah’s find. “We seem to have two options. Prospect and search for more, mine if we do, or we can ignore it and simply enjoy it as a bonus if we find some from time to time.” He looked at each person around the table. “There are ten of us now, so I hope we don’t end up in a tie.” He grinned.

“We’ve all ended up here for a reason, which is beyond me to know why,” Scotty said slowly. “And we’ll always be open to others like us wanting to join us, but to just let anyone around, especially ones who just want to make it rich, that isn’t appealing to me.”

“I like the quiet way we have now,” McCoy agreed.

“Me too,” Christine agreed and reached over to squeeze McCoy’s hand.

“I do not like to be around lots of people,” Jaylah said softly.

“Riches would be nice,” Chekov said, “but not if it disrupts what we already have.”

“I agree with Pavel,” Sulu said, smiling across the table.

“It could add income to the ranch,” Uhura said, “but it would come with a price I don’t think we want to pay.”

“Uhura makes a good point about added income. And if Herndorff finds enough to begin a mining operation, things may become more expensive. More income would not be a bad thing. However, I agree that what we have now is worth more than a few nuggets of gold.”

“Why Spock—” McCoy began, grin curling his mouth upward.

“No changes,” Keenser cut him off.

Jim smiled at the head of the table. “That seems settled then.”

“What do we do with this piece?” Jaylah asked, pointing at the nugget on the table in front of her.

“It’s yours,” Jim gave her a slightly puzzled look. “You found it. Sell it, keep it, whatever you want. And that goes for everyone. If you find any, you choose what you want to do.”

“Thank you James T, but you take it for the ranch,” Jaylah said. “For all you have done for me that I can’t repay.” She picked up the rock and held it across in front of Chekov, up towards Jim.

“Jaylah— no,” Jim began.

“Yes,” Jaylah said firmly, standing up and moving towards Jim. She put the nugget in his hand. Jim looked helplessly down the table.

“Ahh, take it kid,” McCoy said. He gave Jim a look, and Jim gave a tiny nod.

“Ok,” Jim said to Jaylah, “But just this once.”

[westworldparty19]

Strange New Worlds is so crazy. (I’ve always been a non believer in Pike and this episode feels like vindication). So they bring a war criminal turned peace negotiator on board and Pike forces the veterans to interact with him with seemingly no regard for their feelings…I thought Pike was the

sweetie captain who loves his wittle crew 👉👈

Anyway so we have Spock who is really excited? To talk to this war criminal. Spock. Who’s sister STARTED THE KLINGON WAR?! Right!! That was the whole point of Disco? Michael started the Klingon war. So all of Spock’s “friends” and his “girlfriend” are personally traumatized by a war caused by his literal sister and he like doesn’t stop to think about it at all? No one does? Why put Spock, Una, and Pike in Disco if they’re never ever gonna make a connection at all??

This show is so weird!! And not in a good way! The characters are all over the place so so traumatized but they never actually deal with the trauma!!!

M’benga seemingly getting away with murder….come on. Personally have complicated feelings about saying someone deserves to die but like this was just so crazy. The only push back he gets is Pike saying “come one bro you can talk to me? Did you do it? It’s okay if you did?” WHAT! You can’t just murder people!! I know Pike says something like that but in the most milquetoast way possible and then the episode just ends?

What was the point of this episode? Murder is okay if you have a good reason, also your friends will help you and you won’t face any consequences? Wait I didn’t even touch on that M’benga is also a war criminal….I think I would be more okay with this if he turned himself in or felt any remorse or if any character had anything of substance to say to him.

Compare M’benga to La’an in the Khan situation. (I equally hated that scenario but) She’s like following her moral code and is shown having complicated feelings about her decision. I’m trying to be nice by comparing the show to itself but honestly both episodes were so messy and have no actual moral that it’s hard.

So let’s compare to any number of TOS episodes where Kirk is faced with the choice to murder an enemy, or to let them face the consequences of their actions. Kirk could kill Karidian but chooses not to and when he learns that someone else is trying to kill him he actively goes out of his way to save him. Kirk could kill the Romulans in Balance of Terror but instead offers them rescue, he could kill the Gorn captain but offers mercy, could kill Khan but offers him a new life, I could go on. Of course basically none of these solutions work out for the antagonist of the episode but they are punished by consequences of their own actions and in spite of Kirk’s humanity.

Maybe this episode was to say that war irrevocably changes a person. But who doesn’t already know that? What new story or perspective is being shown? I feel like a great way to show progress for his character would be to stab the guy and then save him. Right?! He lets his base, traumatized instincts win but then snaps out of it and realigns himself to his current goal of saving lives. Maybe it’s different in Starfleet but healers take an oath!!

And if we want to compare this to something more tonally similar than there are DS9 episodes that explore this situation much better. I’ve only seen up to season 4 so I’m sure I’m missing a bunch and I’ve only seen the episodes once so if I’m wrong please feel free to gently correct. But there’s an episode where Kira and Gul Dukat get stuck in danger together. I believe they are each faced with the opportunity to abandon each other in danger but even though they were enemies during the war and are still opponents, they save the other. Kira’s sense of what is morally correct overrules her need for revenge. I know there’s a war crimes episode that I haven’t seen yet lol.

Anyway. This season is such a mess. The highs are high but they are few and far between and the lows are so low. I think my biggest problem is that none of the characters have a moral backbone or any real principles that follow from episode to episode. The thing about episodic tv is if you want it to be episodic you have to keep the characters pretty consistent. Or if you want it to be serialized and have characters change, then they need to learn and grow episode to episode or at least arc to arc.

I think La’an should have been more heavily featured in the episode. I think a convo of her and Ortegas on one side and Spock and Uhura on the other would be a good way to actual explore the concepts they were trying to? La’an and Spock both have tangential experience (La’an being a victim of alien war crimes and Spock’s sister starting the war) and Ortegas has direct combat experience and Uhura has none. Uhura can get to be a little naive with Spock backing her with pursuit of knowledge reasonings. La’an and Ortegas can push back on trauma grounds. Spock and La’an can come to some kind of resolution and Uhura and Ortegas come closer to understanding the other side.

I did love that Chapel got a plot that didn’t really involve Spock.

Ok I’m done for now.

[opinions-about-tiaras]

It seems basically completely determined that the series finale will involve the core cast being the heroes of their own story; that's been every single season finale so far, even the first one where Riker had to show up to bail them out. Ever since then, every big final confrontation has involved the Cerritos rising up to prove that they're fuckin' Starfleet, their dinky little second-line vessel is a hero ship.

It's absolutely crazy that the fun office comedy has been at the forefront of reminding people that Vulcans are awesome, that we love them for a reason, and that being a Vulcan isn't a problem, it is a solution. SNW has some of the Enterprise poison in its veins; a lot of times Spock's Vulcanity is portrayed as a problem and Vulcan society composed of fucked-up fuckers who seem like more polite Romulans.

Of course Lower Decks would be the ones to bring back T'Pol and of course she would feel just right. This is the series that brought us T'Lyn, who is highly empathetic, intuitive, and codes heavily as autistic, who was exiled from her own ship, and told us "She is Vulcan as a motherfucker." In retrospect, Lower Decks were the only ones who could open this door. My biggest anger over the series getting its throat slit is that we won't get more T'Lyn and more Vulcan stories. I want to see her inevitable confrontation with Sokal, dammit.

As far as the multiverse goes... maybe I just have low standards, but I am, in general, absolutely okay with putting a different hat on a character and then getting excited over the hat. I suppose it depends on what the hat is? Because that's sort of, you know, the whole point of these things from my point of view. The original Mirror, Mirror was largely about different hats on the same people; it asks the very simple question "What if the Federation was fascist?" and then shows us how that works. (It does a much better job of this than DIS.) Similarly, Through the Looking Glass asks us "Kira Nerys was a slave from a society of slaves; what if she were a ruler from a society of rulers?" and the answer to that question is "She's Gul Dukat." That's not really very deep, but was still a story worth telling. (I know, I know, the DS9 Mirror universe went off the rails later on.)

I mean, hell, the most effective part of TNG's Parallels is a half-deranged, screaming Riker, trying to murder Worf from the bridge of his fucked-up, falling apart Enterprise-D, shrieking "The Borg are everywhere! We won't go back!" It's like twenty seconds of putting a different hat on him and DAMN does it work.

As far as Curzon goes, I think Sean Ferrick over at TrekCulture said, basically, "Yeah, okay, he's just Shax, innit he?" and he's right about that. Jadzia would have made way more sense; nobody had a very strong connection to Curzon as a character, and he doesn't do much beyond yell and stab and be happy about yelling and stabbing. In fact, he felt wrong to me AS Curzon; Curzon was a bon vivant, a gambler and socializer, as befits an incredibly successful diplomat. This guy doesn't feel at all like what we saw; everyone else feels like themselves, Garak and Bashir are recognizably Garak and Bashir, T'Pol absolutely feels like she should, Curzon is... just some guy. Where's the wish fulfillment here?

(The nitpicky side of me would also like to know they get Trill biology wrong; the symbiotes can survive perfectly well without a host, they do it all the time for extended periods. When Jadzia died sending the Dax symbiote back to Trill was considered routine, it only ended up in Ezri because of exigent circumstances.)

To circle back to T'Pol; Lower Decks were the only ones who could open this door, I think, but SNW are the only ones who can give us the more generous, serious version of her story. SNW is spending an awful lot of time on how Spock becomes Spock. And Spock only exists, in both a thematic meta-narrative sense and a very real physical in-universe sense, because of T'Pol. This is the only context in which she can get what she deserves, because it is the only hook that reasonably exists.

Lower Decks, "Fissure Quest": Scattered Thoughts

As someone who has had a complicated relationship with Lower Decks precisely because of how rooted it is in references, fanservice, and callbacks, you'd think this episode would be my Kryptonite. But you know what, I'm going to let them have it. One episode from the (thoroughly unjustified; this show could have run another five years, easy) end, I don't think it's fair to complain about Lower Decks being Lower Decks. And while I didn't unreservedly love this story (more on that below) I actually found the complete immersion in references (while leaving "our" main characters offscreen) more tolerable than a lot of episodes that center around how these new Star Trek characters just happen to be Star Trek fans.

(Also, I'm holding out hope that, having gotten the fanservice component of the show out of their system in the first half of the two-parter, the Lower Decks writers will end their show by telling a Lower Decks story, about the Lower Decks characters being heroes in their own right. We shall see.)

Obviously the fandom focus is going to be on canon(-ish) Garak/Bashir (and it is rather clever how the episode manages to have its cake and eat it on this front, distancing these versions of the characters enough from the originals that if this ship isn't your cup of tea it doesn't have to color the baseline story). But to me the most important choice in the episode is T'Pol. I was talking just recently about how screwed-over this character was - not just by the Enterprise writers' sexism, but by a backlash against Vulcans that spread through DS9, Voyager, and Enterprise in the late 90s/early 00s, and which Lower Decks has been at the forefront of addressing (Discovery and SNW have, in comparison, been rather wobbly on this front). T'Pol, and Jolene Blalock, have for a long time deserved the kind of redemption Seven of Nine has gotten, and hopefully "Fissure Quest" isn't the full extent of it.

(One complicating factor is that Blalock has left acting - she apparently goes by her married name these days, and is credited only as "Jolene" in the episode credits. This might complicate a potential guest appearance on SNW, for example.)

Another thing I liked is that this episode functions as a redemption for William Boimler without going too hard on this point. He's still fundamentally different from our Boimler in not-terribly-likable ways, but he gets to save the day and to behave like a real officer and captain, without becoming just another copy of OG Boimler. I also appreciated that all this is achieved while keeping the Section 31 of it all to a minimum. Boimler is still working for them, as evidenced by his badge (can we pause for a moment to contemplate how nonsensical the idea that Section 31 have their own uniforms and badge design is?), but their name isn't even mentioned, which I am taking as an indication that the Lower Decks writers agree with me about the misguidedness of this whole concept.

(Also good: a sciency, risk-averse Mariner who nevertheless rises to the occasion and saves the day.)

And having said all that, here comes the complaint: I am largely on W. Boimler's side on the whole matter of the multiverse, and when he went into his rant about how it's all just eye-catching variations on familiar things without any substance to back them up, I wanted to stand up and cheer. Until, that is, I remembered that this opinion was being voiced by a character who is a) a villain, and b) in the grips of depression. The fact that the opposing view is expressed by Lily motherfucking Sloane is, I think, a pretty solid indication of what side the episode wants us to come down on, but I remain unconvinced. It would be nice if multiverse stories were about exploring endless possibility and, through that exploration, learning more about where you started from. But most of them are just about putting a new hat on a familiar character and getting excited over the hat.

Which I think the episode itself mostly bears out. Boimler's crew are all fun and cute, but none of them go very deep into the characters or stories they're riffing off. Garak and Bashir are together simply so fans can have the visual or them as a cute married couple, not as a result of any attempt to grapple with how these two complicated, flawed characters might actually end up in a romantic relationship (or, for that matter, with the fact that Garak ends DS9 in a quasi-suicidal state). T'Pol deserves her more generous, more serious story, but it's telling that this story (she's best friends with Curzon Dax!) feels almost random, a reminder that what Enterprise did with her - stripping her naked, insulting her Vulcanness, and killing her loved ones - doesn't lend itself to a continuation that is worth following. And the Harry Kim gag does nothing to address, and in fact tries to make a virtue out of, the stasis that character was held in for seven seasons of Voyager. I don't want to ding the episode too hard, because I did end up enjoying it. But the conclusion I take away from it is that if you want to really explore a character, especially one who has been overlooked, you're much better off doing what Picard did with Seven of Nine, moving forward from where they left off while giving them more serious consideration, rather than just cycling through a bunch of different variations on them.

Finally, does anyone else think that Curzon Dax was originally meant to be Jadzia Dax, and things just didn't work out with Terry Farrell? Given how every other crewmember is someone who was screwed over by the narrative or the writers, or just something the fans have long wanted to see, the choice of Curzon seems to stick out. A Jadzia Dax who wasn't killed by Dukat (and an opportunity for Farrell to come back to Star Trek after the bad blood of her departure from DS9) feels much closer to the "fan wish fulfillment" ethos that seems to have been this episode's brief.

[gar-trek]

oh noooo what abt snw is bad 😭

:smiles:

One million little things. I’ll will put them in an arbitrary numbered list for no reason.

1. Enough TOS already: we get it, tos was pretty awesome but like…. No need to beat a dead horse. Spock is the most deadest horse to ever die. The fact that there has now been THREE actors to revise the roll of Spock is a red flag. When Spock came back on TNG, in the 80s, I felt like they were jumping the shark with that. Enough Spock, let Spock rest. I don’t care about his secret siblings that’s literally dumb. He was at his ever best in tos and everything else after has been a bad interpretation only created so people can go “look it’s Spock!”. Also speaking of which

2. Spock isn’t Spock: SNW Spock serves no Spock energy anyway, so why even bring him back. Just have a different Vulcan character for the love of god…. OH WAIT you can’t because you decided to make a tos prequel and Spock was the first Vulcan in Star fleet so you literally on god cannot have another Vulcan… sucks to be you. And then…. For some unknown reason… they were like “you know what Spock needs ???? A love triangle” like dear lord in heaven the cringe factor just shot through the roof. I don’t even wanna get started about how in amok time it was very clearly implied and stated and tpring and Spock had an arranged marriage and only ever met as children. You know, the whole reason they didn’t wanna get married because there was nothing between them in the first place and being shackled to a stranger for the rest of their lives would have been awkward as hell….. instead the writers of SNW were like “what if we retconned one of the most iconic episodes of tos… and instead made it so Spock and tpring were bitter exs 😂😂😂😂” LIKE SHUT THE HELL UP! Honestly Spock not being interested in pursuing romantic/sexual relationships was very fundamental to his character. It set him apart from the others in the show and was definitely meant as a parallel to Kirk who was constantly falling in love with everyone. How many times did they have to explain the concept of love to Spock who would then be like “hmmm I don’t personally get it but you humans do seem to gain something from it.. so” AND NOW WE ARE MEANT TO BELIEVE THAT SPOCK WAS IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP AND IN LOVE ???? Literally giant retcon for something so fundamental to his character.

3. They based a show off a failed pilot from the 60s: that’s kinda all I have to say about that one. It’s just kinda funny on principle and kinda gives the whole operation doomed vibes. They were like “nooooo we can make it happen this time I swear!” Yeah. No.

4. Pike is nothing: Pike is a lame captain, I’m sorry. He constantly seems like he doesn’t know what’s going on and his plastic face is stuck in a smirk as if he’s epic, and I feel like the show keeps TELLING us how epic he is and yet he has done nothing to prove that so far. Like character will walk up to him and be like “pike you are so bad ass!” But it seems like whenever anything bad happens pike looks exactly like the below picture.



Maybe he did awesome stuff in disco that I just didn’t see yet but still…. No proof of anything bad ass. I feel like he’s not even in the show that much, really.

5. I don’t like the humor: humor is personal of course so I won’t go too much into it, but they rely on a lot of quippy one liners and characters reacting to something random happening by being like “well that was random!!!” Which to me is just like the laziest form of humor. I honestly think that classic trek managed to be very very funny at times, especially tos and ds9, and they never much relied on pointing at something, turning to the audience and going “well isn’t that crazy!”

6. Weird pacing: I feel like I’m constantly being bored to tears and yet often get taken off guard by events happening. I think this is because they try and throw in as many plot twists as possible. I do not like unnecessary forced plot twists. For example at the end of episode three they were like “the transporter didn’t work….. because m’benga is keeping his daughter in there!” Like what. Literally what. No hints to that before. No nothing. Plot twists that come out of left feild with no hinting before hand are just empty. That whole episode was filled with empty plot twists. “Number one is genetically modified!” Like okay. Do you want me to feel shock at this revelation that is never brought up again and holds no relevance in the bigger picture

7: I dont like new trek aesthetic: again just a personal preference. I can barely look at the stark white shiny chrome polished plastic of it all. I hate lense flares too and it’s disappointing that the new trek aesthetic seems to be mostly established from AOS movies… like why. I will say they have built some impressive sets and don’t seem to be relying too much on CGI to get the job done, so that’s good to see and to their credit. But yeah, I think the 60s modernism of TOS was very timelessly beautiful. I understand it was very of the era and won’t hold up the same, but I wish they would have incorporated more aspects of modernest design when creating the aesthetic for new trek. Like that wouod have cool. Oh and also most the uniforms are so 🤢🤢🤢

8. there is only 10 episodes per season: that is like, not enough time to get into a show in my opinion. No time to get to know any character or nothing. Oh and speaking of that

9. Why is there so many damn characters. I can’t even tell who’s supposed to be a major character and just kinda a background character. It leaves no time to explore their personalities since we have only got to know them for 10 episodes. I guess maybe since half of them have been mentioned before we are supposed to know them already? Like Spock? But for a character we know the most about, we sure do spend a lot of time on Spock.

I don’t know, I could probably keep going. Like I said a lot of this is just personal opinion and it’s not an awful show. It’s just I care so much about the franchise it would be hard for any show to meet my expectations. I did go into it kinda exciting but pretty neutral and wanted to watch as much as possible before I formed an opinion. I’ve seen up to episode 9 now and am definitely gonna finish it off, just for completions sake. Overall it just feels pretty stale to me, like they aren’t trying to do anything new and are just relying on recognizable stuff from the franchise to get them through. I’d really like to see them make a show that continues the journey (you know… maybe We can meet the…. Next generation… of people in starfleet?) instead of shows that keep going back or are based around well known character.

I think they are really scared to make a series that doesn’t heavily lean on TOS or TNG because those are their two most recognizable shows. However, if they made a show that took place where canon left off (after ds9) then they would have to bank on the fact that everyone watched a much less popular series. I feel like they don’t even want to touch the dominion war because they are afraid no one will know what that is, but in order to make a truly new series they do kinda have to talk about it, don’t they? So like, instead of dealing with that whole mess let’s just keep making prequels because everyone knows who Spock is. So yeah those are most my thoughts on SNW (I could keep going) if anyone reads this whole thing feel free to send angry messages and pick apart the probably countless misspellings I made here cuz I am not going back to edit all this. Bye

[jillianallen14]

Spirk fanfic rec

Some amazing Spirk fanfic to bless your dash because I’m falling in love with this shit all over again (this is like the 10th time this has happened lol):

Entering Orbit:  Jim escapes to Iowa to avoid the media frenzy following the Narada incident, but a late-night miscommunication results in Spock turning up on his front porch; rated m; 30,957 words

Papers in the Roadside:  Non-Starfleet AU. Jim owns a small bar in Chicago, keeps on picking up strays and taking care of everyone no matter how hard it makes his own life. Spock is a journalist writing feature articles for the Chicago Tribune; he depicts the world with uncanny skill, but hides more than one personal drama and is possibly under surveillance from the Vulcan royal family. They meet by accident just before their lives start to spin out of control; rated e; 49,637 words

Take Refuge in What You Know:  AU - Kirk has moved into a apartment/house and wants to get to know his neighbors. He meets his neighbor Spock, a loner who suffers from extreme agoraphobia. Kirk thinks he's beautiful enigma; rated e; 120,334 words

Listen, this is not only my favorite Star Trek fic of all time, it’s also one of my favorite fanfics in general. It’s right up there with Text Talk and The Shoebox Project from the HP fandom, which if you’ve read, you know are incredible and frankly life-changing. And this fanfic changed my life. The description the author gives doesn’t do the beauty of this fic justice. I suffer from agoraphobia and Spock’s depiction as an agoraphobic man was probably the most well-researched, sympathetic, empathetic, caring, realistic portrayal of what it’s like to be agoraphobic that I’ve ever witnessed in fiction. It made me cry like a child because I had never felt so seen and understood. This writer is incredible, and this fic is incredible. I can’t recommend it enough. It’s an AU, which I’m usually pretty wary about, but it barely even feels like an AU. It just feels like Jim and Spock. The author’s understanding of both of their characters’ is perfect, like just a spot-on portrayal of who they are. This fic genuinely helped me accept who I am and helped me understand that I am capable of & deserving of love. If you don’t read any other Star Trek fics (and you def should read more Star Trek fics because they’re amazing), then let this one be the one you read. I dare you not to read it three times in a row like I did.

Observations:  First Officer Spock comments on life aboard the Enterprise and his service under Captain James T. Kirk; rated m; 500,000+ words.

So the author of this fic actually did a thing where they made this fic into two books (similar to what The Shoebox Project authors did many years ago in the HP fandom). They don’t get any money from people buying the books; the cost is just to go towards producing the books. This fic is the equivalent of two LARGE novels. We’re talking 600 pages & up. It’s a huge fic. Now, that being said, I read it in one day. ONE DAY. It’s that good. This is another one of my all-time favorite fics, though not quite as dear to my heart as the one I listed above. It’s focused on AOS, and tbh, I forget that what happens in this book isn’t actually canon. Like it’s so well-told, it just feels like it’s now part of the timeless story of Kirk & Spock. The “professional” Star Trek writers would never be brave enough to do what this author does with Kirk and Spock, though. This fic will make you angry, will make you laugh, will make you cry. It has such a good grasp on every single character. It also shows the love between the crew of the Enterprise, which is always a treat, and it’s beautifully done in this fic. It has a sorta-enemies-to-lovers arc between Spirk and an enemies-to-close-friends arc between Spock and McCoy that is beautifully done and fleshed out. This fic is definitely a journey to go through, and I can’t recommend it enough. It’s extremely slow burn, and you will want to slap both Kirk and Spock (and McCoy) upside the head at certain points lol. 

Of Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves:  The progression of a relationship, through Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves. Basically, it’s an AU where Kirk works at a coffee shop to pay his way through school, and Spock visits often. rated t; 16,429 words

Love, love, love, this fic. It’s cute, it’s in character. They have kind of a rocky start together, so it’s got a little bit of that Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy i-hated-you-but-now-i-love-you-marry-me vibes to it. I’m a sucker for that, if you haven’t figured that out by now lol. It’s really good, and a really enjoyable read. And it’s not too long, if you’re in the mood for something on the shorter end of things.

 Please Don’t Touch the Vulcans:  The "yes" is out of Jim's mouth before he can think about it. Jim is chipper about having time off for the holidays. He asks everyone if they want to spend time together but sadly, everyone ditches Jim over the holidays because they have plans. McCoy visits his daughter, Nyota visits her family, and everyone splits. Not knowing Spock has feelings for him, Jim doesn't even bother asking if he wants to spend time together figuring he has something to do. Something cute, romantic with the boys spending time with one another and confessions; rated m; 17,690 words

Super cute and has lots of Sarek, which idk about y’all, but I’m always a fan of. Sarek and Jim kind of get to know each other a bit, and it’s cute. Sarek knows about they’re in love before Spock & Kirk know lol. If I remember correctly, there’s also some appearances from everyone’s favorite: Old!Spock! You also get a little bit of jealous and protective Young!Spock. So you’re in for a real treat with this one. 

The Ren shat’var Trilogy:  A split-second decision changes Jim's life forever, as he enters into a bond with Spock in the face of certain torture. Enemies to the Federation emerge from unlikely places, and the command team must contend with unexpected threats, as well as challenges within their own intense relationship. In this three-part series, the Enterprise races across the galaxy to confront the unknown, and Jim and Spock discover the true significance of their unprecedented connection; rated e; 184,411 words

Textual Attraction:  Valentine’s Day does not bring up pleasant memories for Cadet Kirk. But the serendipitous switch-up of his cell phone with a particular Vulcan professor’s will make his day far more interesting –and romantic. Perhaps some new memories can be made! 15,900 words

SO GOOD. Just SO good

Spaceman:  Academy AU. Five times Spock realizes he's attracted to a barista at the academy spaceport, and one time he decides to do something about it. rated t; 3728 words

Short, sweet, funny. You’ll love it.

Subtext: Texting your Vulcan first officer in the middle of the night is never a good idea. Especially when you have an obsessive crush on said Vulcan.The holidays are approaching and Jim is left entirely Spockless aboard the Enterprise when his First takes shore leave on New Vulcan. After some midnight pining, Jim sends a text he instantly regrets. That is, until Spock responds and willingly continues their textual communications to an inevitable conclusion; rated t; 13,032 words

Cute, sweet, funny. It’s a texting fic. I think you’ve probably figured out I love those. This one makes me laugh so fucking hard. Like actually laugh-out-loud-omg-did-i-just-snort kind of funny. Spock is great in this one

All Spock Wants For Christmas:  While Jim is away on a delegation mission, he panics about what to give Spock for Christmas. With help from Bones and Uhura, and in between some spam texting with Spock, Jim realizes he already has the perfect gift. And all it needs is wrapping paper and a bow; rated t; 11,966 words

And here we have another cute, sweet, funny texting fic. Sue me lol

The Morning After:  Jim convinces Spock to take shore leave with him on Risa, hoping the time together will help re-solidify their bond of friendship after some recent tension. Meanwhile, Spock convinces himself he's on Risa for one reason and one reason only, to prevent his wayward captain from getting into trouble. After a passionately illogical night of Romulan Ale and chocolate infused liquor, everything changes when Jim wakes with something other than a hangover filling his head. Something he's sure neither he nor Spock can handle. Because if Jim knows anything for sure, it's that his messed up thoughts belong nowhere near Spock's clean, ordered mind; rated m; 50,381 words

HAHA. This fic fucking cracks me up. You’ve got drunk boys pining over each other & not realizing it. You’ve got accidental marriage. You’ve got bed sharing. It’s great, it’s cute, it’s funny. 

Take This Sinking Boat (And Point It Home):  In which Spock pines, Jim isn’t stupid (except he kind of is), and Christopher Pike has had enough of this bullshit; 6698 words

Pike is great in this one, and it’s super, super funny.

Extracurricular Activities:   Spock returns to the Academy from a tour of duty to find an intriguing cadet captures his attention; rated e; 15,433 words

Veritas: Basically, Kirk and Spock are on trial because the Federation thinks they are emotionally compromised by each other, which is putting the lives of their crew in danger. They have to convince a court they’re not actually in love with each other. They think the claims are bullshit. They think it will be easy to prove that they aren’t in love or emotionally compromised, damn it. It isn’t; rated m; 186,80 words

This one is so, so good. A real gem off of Fanfic.net. I remember it was actually one of the first Spirk fanfics I ever read, and it blew me away. The progression of their relationship is really well-done and interesting. It has star-crossed lovers vibes and has some really emotionally intense moments in it, especially for Spock. 

A Habitual Affection:  Living in 1930s New York with the Vulcan you're secretly in love with is no simple thing. But Jim never liked anything simple. And then, the big snowstorm hit...; rated t; 7998 words

A beautiful TOS fic about one of the gayest episodes of Star Trek. Love this one. 

Atlas:  Between what was and what will be stands James Tiberius Kirk, in all his fractured patchwork glory. Because saving the Federation was only the beginning; rated t; 135,529 words

A beaut. Really great characterization, and the progression of Jim and Spock’s relationship is really well-done.

[captainpikeswoman]

Chocolate covered Strawberries:

A Spock x La’an Drabble.

It has been an incredibly long weekend. The whole crew had had to pull double shifts to repair the ship and conduct and audit following the latest adventure that went ever so slightly off plan…but finally, after basically 48 hours of no sleep and all the hard work- especially for Spock and La’an as senior officers- they could rest.

They’d agreed quietly on the bridge that tonight they would both stay in La’an’s quarters. Ordinarily they preferred to stay in Spock’s, but given that the Captain appeared to be arranging a similar beneficial scenario between him and his lover, both individuals knew (from experience) that it would be best to be in a cabin far away from Chris’s rooms. (I mean really, the ‘sound proofing, cladding did NOT do the job it’s supposed to!)

By this point in their slowly blossoming relationship, Spock and La’an have truly perfected the art of following each other at a distance. And it for that reason that La’an has enough time to shower and prepare some food for them both, as Spock would’ve showered and changed in his own quarters before sneaking along to La’an’s.

So when Spock lets himself in, he finds La’an sat on the kitchen counter with a big bowl of strawberries and a small bowl of melted chocolate. The aroma of the sweet chocolate hits Spock the minute the door opens, and he practically floats as he walks towards it. And he notices, with a thrill of delight that starts in his heart, that the heating has been turned up too- to his preference. The thought of La’an considering his needs makes Spock feel better already, though he hadn’t actually realised how bad he’d felt before then.

“Chocolate, La’an? You know that it is essentially alcohol to Vulcans?” He questions in that baritone voice of his as he comes to stand between her swinging legs on the edge of the counter. Her lips are smeared in strawberry juice and chocolate, and it takes every ounce of Spock’s control not to just surge forwards and kiss and lick her clean, but somehow he manages not to.

La’an nods and smiles a little dreamily before dipping one of the big, ripe, juicy strawberries into the melted chocolate and holding it up to his lips. She kept her doe like eyes trained on his as she gave a tired smile.

“We need to relax, we need some comfort. A little bit of chocolate isn’t going to hurt Spock.” La’an reasons well.

Anyhow, Spock cannot resist her when she’s like this: when she’s wearing an old shirt of his and nothing else, her hair loose in waves, her impossibly deep eyes just begging him to sin a little. He’s helpless to resist.

His plump lips close round the strawberry, eating all but the stem in one big bite. The effect is instant- his eyes slide shut, sparks sizzle in his veins and a feeling of total euphoria washes over him the minute the chocolate is on his tongue. He moans.

The woman gasps delicately, his lips had brushed her fingers, almost kissing her. It had felt like fireworks, like a thanks. She grins, and as Spock opens his eyes, he realises that her beauty is more radiant than a sunrise, more precious than rain in a drought, more unique than a snowflake. He smiles too, a genuine smile, not the fake one he’s learned.

His fingers slide round her waist, pulling her to the edge of the counter, so that they’re face to face. The half Vulcan nudges his nose gently against La’an’s, oh how he adores her button nose!

“Another.” He demands softly, still smiling. He watches as his lover chooses another perfect strawberry and generously dunks it in the melted chocolate, and brings it to his lips.

There’s absolutely no place where either one of them would rather be.

[bcnes-archived]

Suddenly he gets it, why Kirk was so damn intent on picking this kid and his mother up against all of those protests about the Prime Directive - why he still doesn't seem like he's in much of a hurry to drop them off. The Enterprise is no place to raise a child, but it's got to be a hell of a lot better than where they came from, and if he's comfortable here... well, McCoy can't find any reason to change that. They deserve the time to breathe, for god's sake. Or maybe just to live for the first time.

"It's alright," he informs him quietly, seeing him withdraw and visibly hesitate to continue. But he can't just not press the matter a little bit further, even if he feels a cold pit settle in his stomach, something that - were he younger, more inexperienced with crises, back in medical school - might wind up falling in-between dread and panic if he were to let it. He feels like a damn fool; he should have asked, but it hadn't seemed particularly abnormal on the scanners and there was so much else to take into consideration that surely it could wait until he cobbled together a medical record for the two of them, figuring out what sort of tech was in there. It wasn't harming them actively, and for the moment that was all that had mattered. They needed time to adjust before they were tossed into worrying about anything like that. It's the worst sort of balancing act, factoring in what a patient is capable of mentally - emotionally - discussing versus what you absolutely have to find out.

"Well, Mister Ani, I've got some good news for you: nothing in the whole of the galaxy can blow up a person from this many lightyears away, no matter how bad they might try." Maybe McCoy's not the best candidate for reassurance, as shit as Jim always tells him his bedside manner is, but he can offer frank truths and sometimes that's just as helpful. "You've already run away, and," he produces his hand scanner from his pocket, makes a show of waving it around the kid, and then turns it around to read it with a frown. "Yep, I was right. Look at that, no countdown."

McCoy rises from his crouch, striding to his computer, already intent on pinging the captain to discuss this. He wonders if Kirk knew, if he actually had done something down there to get rid of the other end of whatever these devices are - not that it matters exactly, because he really is certain that they're too far away for it to do anything. But it might be an additional level of comfort for the boy in the meantime, more so because he seems to hang off of every single word Kirk says sometimes. He glances back at the kid, wonders if he's too young to hear the more serious medical side of all this, and then decides that if he's seen all this shit already he'd probably just find it condescending if McCoy withheld it from him. Christine will call him a callous bastard, but Anakin's got a bomb in his head, for crying out loud - McCoy's pretty damn sure he wants to skip the bullshit. Kid's too goddamn smart for it, anyway.

"But I'll bring your mother in here and take another look at her - and I'd like to talk to her about this. It's possible we could see about surgically removing it as soon as today," if her vitals are steady enough for it. She was relatively weakened upon being transported to the ship, but nothing outside of what McCoy might expect from someone in her circumstances. She'll have to be thoroughly consulted before considering it, but he's optimistic on that front, at least - the bigger problem is the matter of finding it, making sure it actually can be removed without doing additional damage, making sure it doesn't explode mid-surgery and get the whole of his team killed. He should ping Spock, too, now that he thinks about it. If anybody would have a foolproof idea of how to neutralize the danger entirely, it'd be him. "Yours, too. I'm sorry I didn't know about this earlier, Anakin, but we're going to fix it."

Well, if he wasn't nervous enough before, seeing the man slowly rise from his desk and come towards him really just amps it up. He's grown considerably more still as he's approached, looking like a startled bantha ready to make a mad dash out of the room. He doesn't, although there is a noticeable flinch as the hand is raised. Thankfully it only rests on his shoulder, and his voice softens.

It's spoken with caution now, as if worried he'll say the wrong thing, but still willing to speak.

"Me and my mom have them - it was to stop us from trying to run away. If we did, or if ma - or, um.. Watto got really upset with us, he could blow us up. I don't know if he got rid of his part of it when he let me go, or moms. I don't know where it is either."

[writingfromkitchenator]

Shy Love For Christmas

Christmas Fic

Masterlist

Leonard McCoy x Female Reader

Words: 2,192

Warnings: Awkwardness, fluff, mentions of pining, teasing, set up, not serious death threats.

Christmas brought out all sorts of things in people, and on the Enterprise, it was absolutely no different.

It quickly became clear who loved the holiday, Christmas songs starting to be sung under their breath, or even out loud; some would even begin to decorate small spaces, just to see if anyone would notice.

Others, were indifferent.  They didn’t care about Christmas either way, and just generally shrugged their shoulders at the idea.

Then, there were the few like Leonard, who despised Christmas. It wasn’t like he’d never celebrated it before, nor that he’d never enjoyed it, but it did bring up memories that he’d much rather forget about.  The only time he’d ever found it tolerable, was when he was able to spend it with his daughter.

The other reason he despised Christmas, was because someone was usually up to something, and it didn’t take him long to work out that that someone, was Jim.

Again.

Something about Christmas time brought out the worst in the captain, and his particular favourites to get with some sort of prank, were Spock and Leonard.  Spock often got his own back, in his own subtle way, but Leonard usually just refused to participate, saying it was a waste of time.

This year was absolutely no different, but Leonard knew that Jim had an extra bit of ammunition now. Yet again, Leonard cursed himself at allowing Jim to get him drunk, and in that drunken state, he admitted to the growing crush he had on a certain member of the crew.

You.

As soon as Leonard had (soberly) realised what he’d done, he’d made Jim swear not to tell anyone.  This had to remain in the strictest confidence.  Relationships weren’t uncommon on the Enterprise, but with you, if he did anything about his feelings at all, he wanted to do it right.

The problem was, he did want to do something, but what that something was, he had no idea.  It felt like a long time since he’d had genuine feelings for someone, and back then, he’d been a much younger man.

He shook his head at his desk, pushing all thoughts aside. His troubles could wait till he was back in his private quarters, while he was working was not the time to bring it up, the last thing he needed was to be distracted all day.  The problem of course being, was that in the back of his mind, he knew that there was the Enterprise Christmas Party coming up, and they always promised to hold some disaster or another.  Leonard had a feeling that it was going to be his turn this year.

Several hours passed and he did manage to lose himself in his work a bit, or at least, until there was a knock on his door.

He barely contained his eye roll at Jim’s shit eating grin. “Is there something I can help you with, Jim? Or are you just going to stand there staring at me all day?”

“Well, you are an incredibly handsome man,” Jim chuckled, stepping in and taking a seat.  “I even heard Y/N say so herself.”

Leonard scowled at him.  “Don’t do that to me, it’s very much unappreciated.”

“What?”  Jim asked innocently.  “I’m just telling you what I heard.  No harm in that Bones."

"I know exactly what you're trying to do, and I'm telling you it's not going to work."  He said firmly.  "You promised to leave this alone.”

“No, I promised to not tell anyone," Jim smirked. "It doesn't mean I can't give you absolute shit for it.”

Leonard sighed.  “What do you want?"

His smirk widened.  "I want you to ask Y/N to the celebrations."

"Absolutely not!"

"Why not?"

“Because...because...” Leonard couldn’t believe that he had said that too him, that that was his big plan, now far too many things were running around his mind and he didn’t care for it one bit.  “Because it doesn’t work that way.  You make it sound easy!”

“It is easy!”  Jim said with a shrug.  “She thinks you’re handsome, Bones, what more do you want than that?  Just go up to her and ask.”

“Have you no manners man?”  Leonard growled, ignoring the flush rising in his cheeks.  “Or any sense of humility?  Go on if that’s all you came to bother me about, some of us actually have work to do.”

“Oh, that’s cute, are you actually embarrassed?”  Jim asked, only chuckling at Leonard’s glare. “Y/N should absolutely know this one.”

“One of these days, I will murder you and make it look like an accident,” he said, watching as Jim got up.  “And as head doctor, no one is going to know any better.”

Jim grinned at him.  “You’d miss me too much.  Don’t be a spoil sport, Bones, go and ask her before someone else does.”

What was this?  Senior prom? Who asked people to these things nowadays?

Leonard shook his head and tried to get back to his work, but his mind was filled with questions now.  Had you really called him handsome?  Should he ask you to this?

Eventually, he gave up and took the rest of the afternoon off. This was not going to happen to him, Jim was not going to out these thoughts in his head.  He was going to go and relax and ignore it.

The thought stuck in his mind.

The Christmas Party approached far too quickly and Leonard could do nothing but curse Jim.  It was clear by the sheer look every time he ran into him that he had something planned, knowing full well that Leonard wouldn’t ask you to go with him, no matter how much he wanted too.  Leonard would only grumble when anyone asked why he was annoyed more than usual at the captain.

There was no doubting the excitement on the ship the day of the party, parties were always something that was greatly looked forward too, and Christmas even more so.  Leonard saw you laughing away with a couple of the others, but still he didn’t approach, it just didn’t feel like the right time.

Leonard kept to himself as the party started, ensuring to keep an eye on Jim and trying to work out whatever he had planned.  He let people approach him to talk and not the other way around.  He was utterly determined not to fall for anything that Jim had planned.

“Leonard?”

Your voice made him jump, and he quickly looked at you, clearing his throat as he quickly glanced around, seeing Jim on the other side of the room.  “Um, hi Y/N. Enjoying your night?”

You smiled and nodded, then held a drink out to him. “It’s been good, although I thought I’d see you out there more.  You looked like you were running low.”

“Oh, ah, thanks.”  He took it, a little awkwardly, putting his empty glass down.  “I, er, haven’t felt like socialising much, been a rough couple of days.  I’m okay though, you don’t to keep me company.”

Still smiling, you giggled just a little, taking a sip from your own glass.  “I like your company though.  We can just stand here together quietly, I don’t mind.”

Leonard stared at you for a moment, his heart racing a little in his chest.  You were so damned adorable, and he knew it wasn’t just the alcohol making him want to pull you to him and kiss you madly.  Then the thought of whatever Jim was up to came back to him.

“Jim didn’t put you up to this did he?”  He asked, sounding far harsher than he intended.  “I’m not about to be apart of some game here.”

Your eyes went a little wide and you shook your head.  “I know the captain can be an arse at times, but I wanted to come over and talk to you.  He...he gave me the drink and pointed you out, but that’s all, I promise.”

He deflated with a sigh, partly relieved, but partly still annoyed that Jim was intervening.  “I’m glad I’m not the only one that’s noticed that about him.”

You smiled sympathetically.  “He’s been following me around the ship, took me ages to get out of him what he wanted, so yes, he is an arse.  He means well, but still an arse.”

Leonard chuckled quietly, even as panic rose in his throat about just how much Jim had said.  “What was he following you around for?”

“To get me to ask you here tonight.”

He stared at you, flabbergasted, and quietly enraged. “What?”

You looked away a little shyly.  “He seemed to think that we’d make a good pair, but that’s all he would say.”

“Oh, I am going to kill that little bastard,” Leonard growled under his breath.  “I’m sorry Y/N, I didn’t meant to come across like I did.  He’s been nagging me much the same.  It’s fair to say I’m at my wits end about it all.”

“He…what has he said to you?”

Leonard didn’t get a chance to answer, a loud whistle slowly silencing the room and making you and Leonard quickly see Jim on the other side of the room.

You both froze, knowing Jim’s amused smirk all too well. “Well, it looks like we have our first victims for this evening.”

“Victims?”  Leonard asked slowly.  “What the hell are you on about?”

His question was answered by several chuckles, slowly more joining in, and Leonard noticed that gazes were going above yours and his heads.

Inwardly, he groaned, knowing exactly what he was about to see, but it was your wide eyed gaze that made him finally look.

Mistletoe.

God he hated Christmas.

He didn’t want to know how Jim had got it, let alone get it on the ship, and he certainly didn’t want to know how he had managed to get it above the two of you.

“Don’t look so surprised,” Jim said, still grinning like a Cheshire cat.  “You all know I do something every year.  Makes it more interesting.  Now, come, show time.”

Leonard silently swore to himself that he would kill Jim later, but for now, his gaze went back to you.  You were embarrassed, as he was, and he could see the nervousness of your fingers on your glass.  You kept meeting his gaze briefly, before looking away, but you don’t move away from him.

He stepped a little closer, his face burning from feeling all the eyes on him.  “Y/N, I don’t expect you to do this if you don’t want to.”

“I do,” You said quietly, again briefly meeting his gaze. “Oh Lee, I do, more…more than I want to say, but…in front of all these people is not how I imagined this going.”

Leonard chuckled after a moment, earning your gaze. “Yeah, me either sweetheart. Let’s make sure we get him back for this.”

You held his gaze, your heart racing a little, and silently hoping that no one could hear your conversation.  “You…you really want to do this?”

“I do,” Leonard nodded, even as he felt his face burn further. “Do you?”

“I do,” You admitted quietly, eyes darting down to his lips almost subconsciously.  “Is this why Jim has been so adamant about this?”

“Get on with it!”  Jim called across the room, getting scattered laughter.

Leonard grit his teeth a little, rolling his eyes which made you smile.  “Annoyingly.”

You giggled and stepped into him.  “Then lets definitely get him back later, otherwise he’s going to be impossible to live with.”

He smiled, fingers brushing your cheek gently.  “May I kiss you Y/N?  Mistletoe be damned.”

It may have been the alcohol, but when he asked, all caution and embarrassment thrown to the wind.  You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. Luckily, he wasn’t taken too off guard, managing to balance the two of you, somehow neither of you wearing your drinks, and returned the eagerness of the kiss.

There were cheers, laughter and whistles through the room, and Leonard wondered just how many people Jim had told, but it was quickly pushed away, much more focused on you and the way you pressed again him.

You pulled away, eyes half lidded, and for a long moment, the two of you just stared at each other.

Jim’s whistle and laughter could be heard above everything else, even as most people went back to what they’d been doing.  Your eyes flashed with anger and annoyance, your head snapping around to glare at Jim.

You pulled away from Leonard and started across the room. “You are so dead James Tiberius Kirk!”

This got more laughter than when the two of you were caught under the mistletoe, even more so when Jim quickly took off and tried to escape your ire.

Leonard found himself laughing with everyone else, his chest feeling like it was about to burst.  You still seemed to linger against his lips, even as you disappeared from sight, and he couldn’t help but know that you would be even more of a distraction now.

He honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.