#like I was about to sob during work | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

introspectivememories · 9 months ago

Text

#AUUUGH WAILING SCREAMING CRYING SLIDING DOWN THE WALL SOBBING #BROCEDES PLEASE WHY COULDN'T YOU TWO HAVE BEEN NON-FAMOUS #WHY DID YOU DRAG ALL OF US INTO YOUR SITUATIONSHIP #my mom is sick of me wailing about them. nearly collapsed at work when i remembered 'yes... and team-mate'#sliver springs is going platinum in my house rn #how can you be childhood friends and just fall apart like that? i think about falling out with tas like that and i go nearly catatonic #yeah you're a 7x wdc winner and you got the one wdc that you wanted but was it worth it? was this loss worth it? would you do it again?#going by the interviews they probably would and that's why they fell out in the first place. i literally cannot imagine caring about some #trophy over my childhood best friend but like i guess that's why they're pro level athletes and i'm in my room posting about them #anyway what the fuck was up during f1 photographers during their fallout? why is every photo of them cinematic? did you know we'd be using #them? did you know we'd go crazy? or were you also like 'oh this is cinema in the making. i gotta capture this.'?#anyway for all of that want to know where the quote is from‚ it's jacob black from twilight when bella is getting turned into a vamp #stephanie meyer had one (1) banger line and it was this #brocedes #brocedes edit #f1 edit #f1 web weaving #nico rosberg #lewis hamilton #nr6 #lh44 #formula 1 #web weaving #please ignore my absolutely atrocious photo editing skills. thank you imgflip!!

277 notes · View notes

hecksupremechips · 4 months ago

Note

Night shift or short attention span for the wip thing?

I’ll choose night shift basically Akihiko has this nightmare based on a real memory where he and Shinji got into a very heated fight that dissolved into like, chaos and angry beatings on Akihiko’s part and his nightmare is a warped version where he just keeps punching Shinji in a blind rage until there’s nothing left of him. He wakes up terrified and unsure of what’s happening and Shinji isn’t there BUT ITS OKAY HES FINE he’s just at work I think sadly unfortunately my man has to work a shitty convenience store job to make some money while trying to figure life out and he’s temporarily working night shifts so that’s why he’s gone and Aki does call him at work in the middle of the night for reassurance and asks if that incident really went down the way he remembers it (it didn’t). It’s kinda dark but has a nice ending at least

#ask #idk if ill ever like. finish and post that one hm #but what triggered this idea was like. the pain of a loved one crying and screaming over you but all you can do is sit there unfeeling #akihiko was mad at how removed shinji has become and how he just doesnt seem to care about anything anymore and its very upsetting #and aki gets really emotional and theyre fighting and hes crying and shaking but shinji isnt fighting back hes just letting it happen #hes just lying there and seeing his friend on top of him sobbing doesnt seem to affect him in any way cuz hes so emotionless #and akihiko just gets more mad at that and thats what causes him to freak out cuz why isnt shinji fighting back anymore #and then you know in the nightmare its warped with guilt and fear and ends with aki being so caught up in his reactions #that he doesnt notice how hes hurt shinji and its too late and hes killed him #cuz id say once everything settles down post canon theres a lot of lingering anxiety about everything #aki fears that he pushed too hard and drove shinji away and didnt notice his pain until it was too late #but when he calls shinji to get the real story it obviously isnt how aki remembers cuz he first off didnt kill shinji #what really happened was akihiko was sobbing and kinda just swinging haphazardly everywhere and landed some hits on shinji but not enough to #really fuck him up and it ends with him giving up and laying on top of shinji crying #shinji kinda awkwardly embraces him cuz what else can he do when he still cant feel anything but hates to see his friend upset #so the actual incident wasnt very pretty or happy but they made it out alive and are working things out now #very bittersweet very angsty shinji is so goddamn emotionally repressed i mean they both are actually #also on a lighter note shinji was just like on the phone with his bf during his shift and aki is like wait are you slacking off #and shinji is like bitch you literally called me??? and who cares id like to see these bitches try and fire me 😤#hes behind the register in a stupid uniform while horrible music plays theres like one customer there #theyre making direct eye contact the entire phone call

3 notes · View notes

next-semester · 5 months ago

Text

i'm starting to get really emotional about this narrative coming to an end again.

getting to witness such an incredible piece of storytelling since nearly the beginning has been such a privilege and honestly one of the most joyful experiences of my life.

#i am 100% going to cry during my drive home from work #like i'm gonna put on oldies and the second i hear that first 'don't quite mind'#i'm gonna be a sobbing mess thinking about how thankful i am that i'm alive to be a part of this #this fucking band!!! god #m

2 notes · View notes

starsteemer · 6 months ago

Text

Love that when I try to look for better coping strategies for RSD than sobbing for 6+ hours all I get is a bunch of mindfulness shit which I already do

Like thanks I already know how to look at the facts and focus on my strengths and 0revent it from hurting my friends but how do I make the pain STOP

#can i get advanced coping techniques for someone who already put in the hard fucking work to get this far #cause the thing about emotional brain being in charge is the facts mean jack shit #they might help me feel better after but i need help during the fucking meltdown #cause sobbing until i feel like a flaccid noodle is Not It #how do i ask for help without sounding like a loser #i genuinely appreciate when a friend is honest with me and trusts me to react appropriately when they set boundaries #and i do my best to be honest in return without like. guilt tripping #i can handle it maturely and appropriately in the moment but then i like fucking implode later on

2 notes · View notes

naisaa · 1 year ago

Text

okay i. didnt expect you are so not invited to my bat mitzvah to actually make me cry real tears. ???? the adam sandler teen comedy movie??? was good???? and genuinely funny??? and made me so emotional?????

idk maybe im surprised bc the last time i watched an adam sandler movie was in like 2012 and i never rly liked any of them. and with this one Some of the humor and over-the-topness was a toned down version of the same type of not rly my thing... but i liked and felt for the characters and the overall tone was so. charming?

i feel like if i was a teen i'd've haaated this movie bc of how it portrays teens. like i assumed the 'ha ha look at the silly slang and behaviors of Kids These Days amiright' would start to annoy me v quickly at the start of the movie... and i do think there were a FEW moments of it being like that. but overall i was so surprised that it just felt very loving, more like lighthearted teasing. i'm sure it'll grate on actual teens anyways (and fair enough) but as an adult the more remarkable thing was rly the palpable empathy.

'look i dont understand all of this and think a lot of it is silly or even worrying and i will make fun of it a little bit, but i can see you're struggling and i care and feel for you regardless.' like. im not even a parent but that was the vibe of the whole movie and it was. genuinely rly touching. and i did not EXPECT THAT

#you are so not invited to my bat mitzvah #i just. did not expect this movie to be what it is or for this type of story to make me FEEL THINGS #it looks like a movie id roll my eyes at bc of the schmaltzy teen drama romcom-ish tropes but??#it just felt earnest and that made it work for me #the no spoilers big thing at the end...#listen i dont normally cry during movies and when i do its like a singular tear. So When I Tell You I Was Sobbing #also sarah shermans character and entire wardrobe was a delight. bless.#N ALSO. im not jewish but currently trying to learn more abt it so idk how to put this but. i just rly liked? the jewishness of it all? :D #the setting just being like everyone here is jewish just roll w it but we do have one (1) model minority token christian kid was so funny #the fight between stacy and her dad sdkjfhfkjgdf #THATS WHY WE FOUGHT THE NAZIS?1 SO YOU COULD HAVE A MOJITO BAR?!!#pls i was on the floor #but also the only religion im personally familiar with is christianity and im so like. intrigued by how different the approach feels to me #idk why but i never feel particularly comfortable hearing christians talk about god and religious concepts #and to my surprise i dont have that at all hearing jewish ppl talk abt it?#like to bring it back to this movie. there was obv a LOT of talking abt that but instead of alienating me it feels more like #oh wow i can listen and engage with those topics without clenching my whole body for once?#and even discover that i LIKE a lot of the concepts and approaches #maybe its the absence of personal baggage? but also i just think its neat dot meme im INTERESTED i wanna know more #much to think about much to learn u__u anyway go watch it its on netflix

7 notes · View notes

immamapletreekid · 7 months ago

Text

work anxiety starting before work itself hahahahaahahahahahahhhaha

#IM BAKCIJ THE FUCKIGN BUIDLIGN .AGAIN. AUSUSUXHEHWHGLHKF #im grateful i have an internship for this summer with the way the job market is like currently.#im grateful that i have the opportunity to lessen the burden on my parents shoulders. im grateful that this job can pay rent and groceries #and tuition for a few terms im grateful i get to gain experience while still in school that will hekp me in the future #IM GRATEFUL FOR ALL THIS!!!!! BUT STILL I FUCLING HATE EVERYTHJGN #i hate being unable to eat anything ir sleep at night bc all i can think about is shit i have work tomorrow i have to email this guy and #finish these tasks and impress my manager and be approachable and enthusiastic and eager to learn and not make any mistakes #and not fail anything bc im getting graded on this its alwags grades its always the fucking grades #isnt it. it was the grades that had me crying on walks home from school when i was 9 and it was grades that made me waste away 9th grade #it was grades that made me unable to stomach anything during weeks with tests and it was and is still grades that #dictate every single fucking part of my life #and even tho the ppl who used to yell at me for getting a B in math in 5th grade are no longer yelling at me for getting 60s in linear algeb #ra and stats and calculus and cs #haha.ha when ur university is famous for its.. horribly high suicdie rates #i find that the yelling comes from me now. ive replaced the adults who would sit beside me at the dinner table #yelling bc yea guess what 8 year old me didnt understand division at first #god i hate this school so much. i hate what im studying im gratefula nd am so privileged to be ahle to further my educarion and receive #all these experiences mot everyone can have but god everytime i return to the city where the school is #i feel like throwing up and sobbing and just never ipening my eyes again #haha yea. i hope i csn get a job to support myself in the future #i hope i can still have time for hobbies #why si everyone at school so good at everything #ive met more people who have passed their rcm 10 and arct exams for piano than those who havent #i have classes with people who have already published research papers with professors in the states #my classmates can breeze through a cs assignment while still playing fir varisty teams. working out everyday. goijg ti parties.#eating and cooking balsnced meals each week. having a social life..the whole combo #meanwhile i get overwhelmed because i have to respond to an email and finish an assignment in one day #how do i become like them #why was this about work anxiety at first and why is it about the eternal imposter syndrome and lack of self confidence #i just want money man... i dont give a shit about snything anymore

3 notes · View notes

hayakawalove · 7 months ago

Note

HI LEGEND

im a lurker from ao3 and obsessed with your works and even more obsessed finding ur tumblr,,,your characterization of suguru makes the world go round ok. he’s everything to me these days, thank you for blessing us with your wonderful writing<3. Everything about suguru is so warm and fuzzy and so good to his sweet baby 🥹.

(cw: dissociation) i feel like he would be so good to his angel that struggles w dissociation and keeps her grounded. always giving squeezes, notices the signs when it happens. he’d help you through it and be so comforting :( the way i would ugly sob if it happened fucking too LSDKSK. I hope all is well and giving you a big hug!

-🗿 anon

HELLO

This ask made me so happy! Hello lurker from archive of our own,, WAHH I’m so glad you like my work that really makes my week honestly. AND SUGURU,, yeah he means so much to me IDJXODJDOKDKD IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY CHARACTERIZATION OF HIM to Me I think he is a very soft boy, even in canon when he defected he still did it out of love,, i love writing him honestly. I also really like writing Gojo too though. I think I like writing Suguru because it makes me Flustered but I like writing Gojo cause I feel like our sense of humor is very similar. AND THANK YOU FOR BLESSING ME BY READING! Yes yes I concur he really is so sweet to his baby. In my Heart and Soul I just know he would melt for you and do anything for you. I think his love is very. Devotion based. He would devote his life to you, and that’s so sexy of him.

AND. You have no idea how I reacted to the second half of your ask, well I mean all of it but like. You are in my Head. I’ve actually thought about that at length with all my blorbos, but he takes up the biggest residence for that idea. I actually have one or two WIPs with poly satosugu where they care for you during a mental health episode, I don’t think any of them are dissociation but. I’ve never posted them just because it almost feels Too vulnerable,, but I struggle with dissociation. Like. Very badly. KDJKFDKKDKDJDJ I think the thing with Suguru is he would be so good for you during bad mental health episodes, cause he knows what it feels like. He’d be able to notice all the small details. But yes dissociation is a very interesting topic for him. I think Suguru as a whole is a very Grounded character, and I mean we kinda see that in the show how he keeps Gojo’s feet on the ground. You’re so right though he would absolutely try to keep you Here. And he wouldn’t make you feel weird about it. I feel like when I’m dissociating I feel. Crazy KNDKDKDKDK but I think he would be very in tune and calm and treat you Normally, except he always has a hand on you and helps you do grounding exercises. Maybe stands in front of you so you can See him while he holds your face :(( he also would step up. I think he’s dominant generally speaking but I think if he noticed you dissociating he would automatically do all the talking if other people were around and guide you places.

I HOPE ALL IS WELL WITH YOU TOO I AM SENDING YOU A BIG HUG WITH CHOCOLATE AND MAYBE A TEDDY BEAR

#asks #🗿#did you know you are my first emoji anon #it’s true #this ask really made me so happy you have no idea #I am so grateful to have people like you read my work #I think sometimes as a writer you can get into the habit of writing something and posting it then Thats it #but then you get comments from people and it’s like Oh. People are actually reading my work #and have thoughts about it #I am so glad we agree on the characterization of suguru #and the dissociation thought is so good I think I will be thinking about that for the next month #I also would sob hysterically if suguru took care of me #I think he takes care of you all the time but even more so during those times #he is so important to me #so is Gojo but we aren’t talking about him #I love thinking about characters taking care of you during times you’re having an episode #I find it very soothing #thank you for this ask #I can’t wait to write more for you and to see what you think #tw dissociation #tw mental illness

3 notes · View notes

louismygf · 2 years ago

Text

girls when they just finished watching aotv

#ok this is my review #i didnt 'just finished watching' but u get it wtv #louis tomlinson #all of those voices #ok unless u wanna b spoiled u need to get off these tags rn!#i honestly thought there'd be more of the songwriting producing planning and bts footage of him working on his music #like i thought that'd be the main focus #more..... artistry and musicianship things yk? this thought made me want a behind the album doc so bad djfjf #but i do get it bc he set touring up as his ultimate goal as a solo artist. he said early on how it's his fave part in onedee #now im not saying touring ≠ artistry bc duh going on tour is fundamental for artists and for some like louis- it's what they love most #anyw thats just me. a behind the album doc could easily fix this. kinda my fault for expecting a whole different narrative hahshdj #OKAY BUT ANYWAY the first half was jam-packed with lots of feelings. heart rending gut wenching soul crushing stuff #it was so emotional i was with my sister and i didnt wanna cry beside her but i just couldnt help it 😭#him and his family talking in depth about their loss felt gutteral. strong family... about his mom and about felicite #hm yeah </3 mmkay thats a wrap we dont need me sobbing again thinking about this family #so about the touring!! we see him struggling to find his feet to perform confidently through the years #yk... last 1d performance in xfuk. jho for xfuk. ultra fest too i think? ...ccme. telehit. scala... 2 walls tour (2020) shows in spain #aotv spoilers #its actually insane how massive his insecurities became during and post 1d 😭#bro was acting small roles as a child. was 'popular' in school. lead singer in a cover band. main lead in grease & auditioned for xfactor #and post 1d??? man didnt know what to do with himself. it's sooo!!!!!!!!#it's evil actually leave that man's poor confidence alone! 😭#the doc ended beautifully :> showing scenes of his show in milan. 30k+ people. ONLY there for louis!#by this point hes built up enough confidence to perform btm live for the first time!!!!! hard song to sing and he smashed it 🥹#the title truly encapsulates everything huh. voices in his head. voices of industry ppl whispering in his ear. voices of criticism. and #voices of fans cheering and singing his songs #cathartic ending 🫶🏼 loved aotv!!! when btm played girl you Know i was gone 😭#loved that he included the fitf uk no.1 too!!! it's a pretty little bow to this wonderful gift #i would Love to add more but i reached 30 tags LMAOOO yk what maybe i'll rb this with more tags😭💀#louis u deserve the world the moon the stars entire planets and all the galaxies 🫂 mwuah

19 notes · View notes

lisbonsteresa · 2 years ago

Text

he's HORRIBLE

#tm #all the bullshit she put up with from him for 10 years and she's late to a crime scene ONCE and look at him ffajdslk #as if you give one single shit about punctuality patrick; but this brings up a point that i can't believe i never considered in all my bs:#does patrick jane know how to be jealous? discuss #i mean...obviously he KNOWS but....does he though #at the very least he's exceedingly out of practice #of course we know next to nothing about his and angela's relationship but between that and this he's basically had 10+ years of red john #and we know lisbon dated during that time (and we know he DID get jealous because...obviously how could he not)#but not jealous in a way he could act on - in part because ms 'intense and particular' didn't seem to have many repeat dates #(idiots) but mainly because of the red john of it all #i doubt he realized it on any conscious level (and if he did he repressed/ignored the shit out of it)#but he couldn't see anything happening with them while he had red john hanging over his head #(tangent: all his 'you deserve a good man' 'he's a good man' later on...he really doesn't see himself as a good man does he #my poor little meow meow - thinking about naomi's tags about the letter again god i wish that had happened)#and she deserves better than that; deserves better than him (SOB); so he lets the hints and the moments of jealousy pass by #but now....well now there's no more red john #he's still got a LOT to work through but that gigantic weight is off his shoulders and there's been this shift between them #(i can't come up with a better way of saying it than) they're flirting like they mean it....not that they didn't before #but now there's this sense of actual possibility behind it; this could be going somewhere; it's slow but they're taking actual (baby) steps #and then pike shows up and the whole thing is imploding as they speak - like he knows from the second that cab pulls up #how her date went and she knows that he'd know and they're just talking around it and they're so AWKWARD where they'd been #working so well together (minus an airplane ride or two)#and now he's trying REAL hard to be supportive even though he probably wants to curl up and sob #because he wants her to be happy (more than maybe anything he wants her to be happy) and he couldn't make her as happy as pike #she deserves a GOOD man and that is not him; she shouldn't have to put her life on hold for him anymore she's done that too much already #but what he doesn't get - what he can't quite comprehend (what absolutely stuns/amazes/thrills him at the end of blue bird)#is he DOES make her happy; he IS a good man (he might be the best man she knows; flaws and all); and (in this instance)#she'd be more than willing to wait for him; to be patient with him #if he'd only let her know that there's something there to wait for; something concrete they could be heading towards together

15 notes · View notes

lauryn-order · 2 years ago

Text

I’ve spent my whole night crying and just want some love.

#I just am having a no good v bad day #and one of my work clients pushed me over the edge #and made me sob for hours #and I have a massive headache and feel so sad #I feel like I didn’t take my meds last night but I did #I’ve just been overworked pushed past my breaking point #and I had to talk during a meeting and pretend like I wasn’t sobbing #which didn’t go well #and everyone knew I was crying #which isn’t v bad bitch of me #and baby won’t be home until 3:00 am #and my friend’s phone isn’t working for some reason #and my anxiety is worried about her #and I just #it’s too much

13 notes · View notes

lilgynt · 11 months ago

Text

i will sob my brains out at 5 am remembering events from this year and also christmas last year and being annoyingly petty and unable to let go of relatively small comments just bc i’m sensitive and raw and have a complex

#personal #fake therapy is fun till ur sobbing and biting ur lip and realize how hard ur gripping your arm #ben said i was an adult after i jokingly not jokingly mentioned mom made me go to work for 3 days with a broken foot #after she was complaining about how mean we are to her #which i imagine was just resentment of her calling me abusive the other day #and also i was out returning stuff for my mom at like 4 different stores and came back home like give me five to change so i don’t look #frumpy when we get dinner #and then moms like hurry up oh my god and bens like stop that’ll just make her take longer and fuck both of you i’ve been changing for what #5 fucking minutes? is it that deep ?#and mom saying i should have gone earlier but i didn’t bc i was sick and she’s like whatever and i can already feel the difference with my #brother home and it’s awful bc i do love him and enjoy his company #and maybe i’m on edge bc he only visits during holidays and holidays never go well for home #me #and we have fun and enjoy dinner but also that comment and like yeah maybe it was my fault for not just going anyway #but also mom was threatening to kick me out and making fun of me crying in pain #and fuck you you have a completely dynamic to her and she actually fucking likes you #and i just turn into this worst verison of my self around him bc i have a complex and i hate it #anyway. my tummy hurts. im no longer crying so this emotion will be purged pretty soon amen

1 note · View note

just-rogi · 2 years ago

Text

I just had the single most uncomfortable phone call of my LIFE !!! Someone run my phone over with a TRACTOR and then SHOOT it with an GUN!!

#basically I was talking to a coworker asking for advice on how to handle another coworker of ours who had said some vaguely racist shit #fairly regularly #like she’s older so her heart is in the right place but it’s…. uncomfortable yk ?#and this coworker set up a meeting with admin to talk about how I feel victimized and am afraid to speak up (I’m not)#but I had my meeting and basically said ‘I want it on paper that I talked to y’all and asked for advice but I’d rather try to approach this #on my own and solve it person to person without attacking her or having her reprimanded’#and admin was like cool so we are actually totally gonna let you do that and also have a meeting where we do the opposite of that tehe #so I got a call from my coworker today that was like ‘UHHHH DID YOU GO TO ADMIN AND TELL THEM YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE IN MY CLASSROOM BECAUSE #YOU THINK IM RACIST??’#like bro #I eat one meal a day and I get this shit during my dinner time #fuuuuuuuccccckkkk #like I was completely blindsided with this and thank god I can talk normally while crying bc I was fuckjng sobbing from anxiety #like yeah you did say some racist shit but working with you is better than working with any of the other people who don’t have their shit #together #as shitty as it sounds I’ve kinda come accept a certian level of micro aggression (and macroagressiom bc tbh Glenda girl you go too far)#like I’m always uncomfortable and always unhappy and I’m always gonna be like that but NOW I’m uncomfortable because I’m getting #a phone call during MY dinner bc admin did exactly what I did not want them to do #like I wish there was a way that I could be like ‘yo I’m formally reporting that some shady shit is happening- I wanna handle it peacefully’#‘but if it can’t be resolved I want to cover my ass and not get my words twisted #I like working with Glenda most of the time… just not when she’s talking about white privelage or lack there of…#no Gelnda the teacher shortage isn’t caused by bps only hiring poc teachers and not giving jobs to white people #I promise reverse racism isn’t the root of why we can’t get coverage for music health or financial literacy or seventh grade ELA or math #idk idk I’m not doing it Justice #like I was uncomfortable in the classroom before but now I’m gonna be MORE uncomfortable bc all this shit blew up in my face #all this taught me is to never speak up about microaggressions and never go to administration with concerns of how to solve issues-#you know: the exact WRONG takeaway because everything is so fucking messy #fuck me I can’t wait to apply for work outside of the US #also not to have a cynic victim mentally but none of this shot would’ve happened if I was white… :/#but yeah.. whatever … middle eastern people don’t experience racism ig

2 notes · View notes

arlathen · 2 years ago

Text

reading thru my old wips and finding the one where nate has to turn lucy and is like 100% sure it killed her and hes just sitting alone in their house w her corpse in the next room. like BROTHER....

#a few years after they get married and start poppin out kids lucy gets diagnosed w extremely aggressive brain cancer.#the twins are like 3 at this point. and theres treatment available but shes got like a 1% chance of surviving #and she and nate have their worst fight ever about it. which says a lot because neither of them are combative.#nate wants her to try treatment and only look into supernatural options as a very last resort #lucy is like 'if becoming a vampire ends up killing me i still dont want to spend the last months of my life sick and weak'#i think. probably adam takes her side in the end and convinces nate. and they go on a big family vacation together.#last hurrah if thats what its gonna have to be #and when they get back rebecca takes the kids and lucy and nate have sort of a last date night #and then he turns her. and i hc that because of her fucked up blood situation it takes a lot longer than normal.#and during that time her heart stops or drops to like. one beat every few minutes. slow enough that he cant hear/notice it.#i mean it works! im not strong enough to kill my ocs. hes sitting there curled up sobbing and she just walks out like 'hon im staving' HDJD #carly.txt #carly's ocs #oc: lucy

1 note · View note

lesbiten · 4 days ago

Text

my current class schedule is probably one of the easiest sets of classes ive had throughout college and yet every week feels like getting punched in the stomach 30 consecutive times and i dont know why

#simon says #i think its partially that my roommate dropped out for now and we were in a lot of classes together #so having someone to study with and talk to about college consistently made life a lot easier #combined with the fact that im currently taking a lot of classes for my minor which means all my other friends from my major are like #nonexistent in my life cuz we arent in any classes together anymore #to the point where ive been asked by multiple people if i dropped out because they havent seen me on campus once this semester :sob:#but idk i have long days and 3 labs which sucks but objectively speaking the class material and work and tests are easy #several of my classes are open note tests. i have one class that has traditional tests and even then i get Bs on them #so not bad even if it takes many many hours of studying to get said Bs #it might also just be that i dont have time to work during the week so im primarily working weekends so i dont have days off #and i cant visit my family or anything #idk. life is hard. i have like 40 tests this week and no time to study. im going to die

1 note · View note

mbat · 15 days ago

Text

its just that its always like...

its always something?

usually stuff from the past

when im actually doing well and getting on with stuff

as if the universe is clawing at my legs while im trying to walk away

like... im allowed to walk away. it cant stop me. it keeps trying to. but it cant

its just weird? like. i just want to move on. thats what ive wanted for years

#my post #this situation isnt even that much or bad or deep or honestly whatever like #im just thinking about other things now #like seriously why cant it ever just be nothing while im doing stuff #im fully actually moving on with my life finally #like im in therapy im in school #why is stuff trying to drag me backwards into hell. i climbed out of there. fuck off #im patting down the fire and wiping off the ashes. ive done my work. im still doing my work. leave me alone #ignore me #hell im moreso thinking about like... my ex LMAO who has nothing to do with what happened today #like last year only days before i moved out of that last house they sent me a dm and it sent me fucking spiraling. stuff like that #people ive stopped talking to for years just hitting me up as if its like... not weird #okay i guess with my ex we technically ended on good terms from their perspective like they werent being weird or rude #they had no way of knowing that them messaging me would make me start fucking sobbing LMAo #but still. yknow? like. why cant the past just stay where i left it. collect dust lmao #i think maybe during this 2 week window i should do what i said i would and start writing down that one thing lol...