#like I can feel it so viscerally
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yannfredericks · 5 months ago
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it’s actually outrageous how even thinking about ‘half life’ sends me straight back to 2016 sitting at my desktop and scrolling tumblr for every scrap of information I could find about cursed child and scorbus
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sharkylad · 6 months ago
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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.
Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?
Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.
The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.
Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.
It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.
I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.
He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#STANLEYYYYYY#STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants#Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with#the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten#The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you#that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help#If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once#Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON#I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming#But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything#Like he really mattered so little to the people around him#and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too#I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him#The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things#And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year#Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people#the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better#its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand
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vaguely-concerned · 1 year ago
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sometimes I think of all the on-the-surface warm, well-meaning but deeply ineffectual advice and attention john gives harrow through harrow the ninth (make some soup and get some sleep! get a hobby! don't be so hard on yourself! self care harrow! as long as I need take no actual responsibility in this relationship whatsoever I would have loved to be your dad!) set up against the stark truth that with his other hand he has been staging her attempted horrific murder again and again and again like a living nightmare on the logic that it will 'put her down or fix her'. and then I find that I wish there is a hell. a special hell where twitch streamers turned necromantic death emperors go
#the locked tomb#harrowhark nonagesimus#john gaius#harrow the ninth#this is why I don't buy john as misunderstood and initially well-meaning AT ALL#this is a pattern you see with him again and again and again -- right down to his interpersonal relationships#(and indeed it's in the more grounded interpersonal relationships you can most clearly see him as he is I think#the fantasy death empire of a thousand years doesn't register quite as viscerally because it's like. heightened; not quite real#but the emotional violence and manipulation that surrounds him? oh boy that is EXTREMELY real and scarily well-observed)#there's a premeditation to so much of what he does (contracts with planets that only end 'in the event of the emperor's death' anyone?#yeah john we get it you're hilarious and I wish you weren't)#the greatest trick john ever pulled was making anyone think he's just a lil guy. what does he know he's only god#when you first read the book the complete callousness of the other adults is so horrible that john seems like an oasis of care#(though you start to get this uneasy feeling when that care never seems to translate to like... relief or soothing or resolution)#and it makes it feel almost obscene when you find out what's actually going on#it's the mercy & augustine enabler hour but at least they're completely honest in their cruelty there#while john is -- well he sure is being john huh#this is just me being angry with him btw philosophically I don't think this is how the story will or should end#(with john slam dunked right into hell that is)#it's just... harrow is so vulnerable. and what he does to her is so insidious and fucked up#john is very deeply human. unfortunately the capacity to quite simply suck so much is deeply human too
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bunnieswithknives · 11 days ago
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Can we possibly get your version of osma? I'd be interested to see what you did with her
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Here you go!! I was putting this off a bit cause, I'll be honest, the way the reveal/transition scene was handled was actually kinda upsetting for me.
I did read on her Wiki though that she's apparently a fairy which is awesome as hell. I haven't gotten to that part in the books yet but I'm glad to have something to chew on in my time of need.
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mellosdrawings · 2 days ago
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May I ask what you like about Jamilkal?
Oh my gods ok Imma try not to infodump but also stay clear while I'm rambling.
So, mostly I'm a "platonic soulmates KaliJami" believer. It's less about romance or lust or whatever else and more about them just... gravitating around each other in a way that simply cannot be described with the words we usually associate with love.
Especially since you gotta add the hatred/hurt aspect to it all. The power imbalance. The fucked up situation they're both in. The traumas they've both gone through.
They love each other. They hate each other. They need each other. They keep sabotaging each other. They can't imagine their lives away from the other. They drag each other down and themselves all the time. They care so much for each other. They keep hurting each other.
It's all about tragedy. There is no way for them to heal and get a better relationship but by being separated. But they could never willingly part ways from each other. They'd need to be forcefully pulled apart, and even then they'd probably fight tooth and nail to get back to the other. Even when they're apart they can't stop thinking about each other. The other is seared in their DNA at this point, it'd be like cutting a limb to force them away from each other.
You might think "yeah but Jamil tried to kill Kalim." While he was overblotting, yes. As did all the overblotters, whether or not they loved the people they were attempting to hurt or not. But Jamil, while he did try to ruin Kalim's reputation and have him leave the school, never intended on hurting him. He could have done so much worse, Kalim and his family have so much faith in him, and the only thing he did was trying to get Kalim fired. He would have ended back under the Asim service as soon as school was done. He never meant to get rid of him forever, just push him away long enough so he could find himself.
Which he couldn't. Because fate simply refuses to leave them separated. Because Kalim or his father insisted they stayed together. And now you might think that Kalim is the one pushing this relationship, but have you heard just how much Jamil refers to Kalim? Kalim can live without Jamil, but damn is Jamil obsessed with Kalim. To an unhealthy extent.
Yes it's because of his upbringing. Yes it's because he fears for his and his family's sake. Yes it's because he's an overbearing mom friend. Doesn't change the fact that he has Kalim under his skin 24/7.
The point isn't that it's healthy. They could never be healthy together, no matter how much they try to change their dynamic. Jamil stifles Kalim's growth by being overbearing. Kalim stifles Jamil's growth by constantly relying on him. They feed off each other. Their flaws feed off each other. They just keep making each other worse.
And that's just such an interesting dynamic to explore. They're made for each other but they can't be together. Their story can only end well if they separate. It's as tragic as you could make.
So yeah. That's why I love KaliJami. They're a tragedy. They gonna burn together and they're gonna do it clinging to each other.
And boy, if that ain't love.
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athenasplan · 9 days ago
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"You don't have to call me that" destroyed me.
I will try to put into words why in the next days, but for now I will just try not to break down crying everytime it crosses my mind again.
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cecoeur · 1 month ago
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I should've taken more photos | Singapore 2024
#daniel ricciardo#dr3#i'm sure someone on tiktok has already done this but i'm staying far the hell away from those#and this is where i put all my daniel ricciardo brain rot and sadness so it's just going to have to live here#obviously i've been thinking a lot about daniel and this song like all the dirlies#but i was in my car listening today and i thought about how he should've gotten to take more photos of his last race#that he didn't pull out his camera until the last minute just in case this was it just so he'd have *something*#and so he didn't get to take photos of all the moments he may have wanted to or of people he may have wanted to#didn't get to take photos with his family#doesn't get to have those memories. didn't get to document each and every moment.#but then thought about the photos that he did take (or blake took) and that he chose to share#that these small moments were important to him and he wanted to remember them#and celebrate the people and the time and the importance of them regardless of how average they seem#he didn't get to capture more memories of that last race in photos#but he got these moments and he knew appreciated them for what they were and what they meant in a 13 year career#it's almost fitting in a weird way that he didn't get a bunch of flashy happy professional photos of his last race#but instead got the kind of photos where you can viscerally feel the love these people had for him and that he had for them in return#these photos remain incredibly hurtful and beautiful in their simplicity
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loriache · 9 months ago
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honestly i'm kind of interested in the idea of laios in an arranged marriage. because obviously straight-up inherited monarchies are ...bad, to say the least! but it's what the characters are familiar with (even laios' father's extremely local, extremely minor leadership role is inherited, presumably through the male line). and it isn't just about what they think the best way to run melini is; in terms of ensuring that the other longed-lived nations respect melini's continued sovereignty, having it passed down in a manner that's close enough to their own ways for them to understand it and respect it is important. And it seems like most of the other nations have leadership through inheritance - thought that isn't confirmed for certain except with the elves.
Also, a marriage carries the potential to establish foreign allies - something melini is certainly lacking. A marriage could come with resources they'll badly need, treaties of mutual defence, money, legitimacy and political capital... not that these things can't be worked around, but if laios isn't strongly opposed, there are a lot of advantages! and i don't think he would be, because that's the framework for marriage (conferring practical advantages, building intracommunity relationships and providing a partner to do important work that he can't do) that he had grown up with. he isn't exactly a romantic and I doubt he's holding out for any sort of relationship of that nature.
Like, I don't think it's impossible that they would go with this path, because it's the most obvious and it carries a lot of advantages and it's what almost all the decision-making characters would consider normal and not objectionable. and it could be so interesting.
I think Laios would have major hangups if expected (i.e., by Marcille) to establish a genuine, romantic interest in a woman. Whether because of his sexual or romantic orientation, or just his own deep-seated trauma about rejection and being inherently disgusting and scary. And I think he'd hate the idea of having kids, too, and be very frightened of being like his father. But I don't think he'd refuse on that basis; he could cope with a marriage contract, with clearly laid-out expectations and responsibilities. And when it came to having a kid, I think he'd be reluctant to express that he doesn't want to do it, because he isn't naive and he understood when he agreed to be king it would carry responsibilities like this. It's clear from his nightmare that he already felt pressure from his parents to have children, probably magnified by the fact his father has got a position, responsibilities and wealth to pass on. Obviously he isn't a perfect martyr, so he might struggle when it comes to actually going through with it - but I don't think he'd actually, outright refuse. I think he might do it even though he doesn't want to, and I think that could be really messy in a way that appeals to me.
I don't know, there's something about negotiating these kinds of complicated situations that's interesting to me. and i love a platonic marriage. If they find a woman who has an interest in education, for example, and can work with marcille on setting up schools and universities. she'd ideally be politically savvy enough to be an able partner to laios: even though kabru can and would continue to do a lot of that, there are different spheres that a queen and a prime minister can work within!
how would their relationship work? maybe she finds laios' perspective on the world, and his frankness, unexpectedly liberating after an extremely controlled, cloistered upbringing. maybe she had a rebellious phase, has magic, or something else which makes her a relatively unpopular candidate for marriage - even as melini grows in power, i doubt that they'd be getting offers for the cream of the crop in terms of perceived value on the marriage market, because laios' relationship is a bit too ambivalent/monstrous for that, and melini too new. maybe she's a widow! an older woman, wouldn't that be cool - though they'd want her young enough that she could definitely still have kids.
certainly i think he'd be happy for her to pursue other relationships, though ideally in a manner that couldn't produce illegitimate kids. with other relationships in play, that's even more interesting. like, both kabru and toshiro have complicated emotions relating to infidelity. i think kabru would actually find it quite cathartic to be in the kind of high-status environment that rejected his mother for perceived infidelity, pursuing an affair that all parties consent to, though he'd likely be incredibly aware of the public image - since "image" is what he was rejected for. toshiro... i just really really love the way he'd feel about being the "other woman" in laios' marriage, considering his feelings about his father and maizuru. especially given how much closer he is to maizuru than his mother, being in her position...! his emotions would be so complex, it's incredibly tasty. i bet he'd make a bunch of assumptions about how laios' wife feels about it and be totally wrong, and that's so interesting. also, i think laios' wife should fuck marcille (she and falin have an open relationship).
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spaghetticat3899 · 6 months ago
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When you absolutely despise something a lot of people like, and no matter what way you look at it you cannot see the appeal, but you know you can’t talk about it in public or else you’ll get dogpiled to hell and back, so you just kinda sit there frothing at the mouth like this
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#spaghetti speaks#minor blood#I know this image is typically used in positive contexts but it felt fitting here too#Also you probably know what I’m talking about if you’ve spoken to me before#The AM speech but aimed toward this one particular series because the rage it causes is GRAHH#it had so much potential#it could’ve been so so good#YOU COULD'VE KEPT THE PILOT PLOT INSTEAD OF INSTANTLY ABANDONING IT IN FAVOR FOR ONE OF THE WORST ROUTES A STORY CAN GO IN#I’m so mad because I WISH I could like it#I WISH I could make art for it- the character designs are fun to draw#but I’m not a fan of it#I have a visceral hatred of the series and its creator#but I’m alone in the opinion#minus my friends who agree with me#but I just#I don’t understand#I feel like if it was made by a bigger studio- people would hate it as much as me#Steven Universe was written significantly better than it- I’m sorry#SU got so much shit for years- this is praised everywhere I see#I could explain every single problem I have with this series and people will defend it#it’s so popular despite nothing being resolved or making sense#The people behind the studio were revealed to be shitty to employees but no one cares because this series got a new episode#GRRRRRGHGGHH#I hate the characters- I hate the nonsensical plot- I hate the plot holes- I hate the villain- I hate the wasted potential#I’d hijack this series and make a Snoot Game type thing if I could- my autistic ass will make this better#I'm not arrogant I’m just saying the writing is on the floor and it doesn’t take much to just fix it up and make it pretty#I’m ranting#sorry#I’m very passionate about things like this#Inorganic killers
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wreckedhoney · 11 months ago
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MASSIVE SPOILER for one of the endings.
it's been a while since i tried looking, but i did hear that something like this happens last year and over time started to think, "was it a fluke?" bc no one posted footage or caps of it then, and i aimed for a completionist run in my first playthrough. turns out it's real! and definitely shines a new light on a character that, for most other types of playthroughs, will not give this much emotion! EDIT: transcript now included, and some stillshots under the cut
[0:28] Marie: Henry, this is the man who kept you from doing the right thing tonight. Kill him. [0:15] Forrest: Henry, you don’t have to do this. If you’ve not killed anyone yet, there’s still time to make the right decision. [0:05] Out of shot: (Gunshots) Henderson Police! Freeze! Marie: No! Henry, get out of there!
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#killer frequency#henry barrow#these hands………#so yes MORE spoilers and further commentary ahead here in the tags:#yes this is a fairly tragic ending if you already know how to get it. but again TERRIFIC VOICE ACTING BEFOREHAND AND AFTER.#feel free to reply in post if you want to ask about that part.#i didn't include that in the vid bc it's so visceral and raw but i love their performances. that shit hit hard dang.#but i want to ask anyone if their perspective on henry changes after seeing this? mine does tbh. i didn't expect a possible show of remorse#like at most hesitation! but bc of the context of forrest's dialogue- does it lean into remorse? a large definite shift in his mind!#even if he Has killed already then he's still taking forrest's words to heart and reconsidering everything which DAMN-#-my videogamey headcanon of forrest's character stats showing his Persuasion and Charm MAXED OUT is pulling tf through here!!#also can anyone reply re: would forrest's dialogue change but he still survives if henry kills maurice or murphy? or would forrest die?#and if the devs Actually gave henry other official kills in the game but didn't disclose them in the narrative- then is this the test?#like if henry kills AT ALL in game even though the player isn't privy to knowing which victims are his then is this ending unattainable?#also placing this scene/character moment behind THIS ENDING SPECIFICALLY heck that's cold. dang fellas.#going to eventually pull out a hc i've been holding back for a long time in a later post and i'll mention this scene again then-#-but this part in particular as well as another “easter egg” has really put more fuel to it
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im-a-natural-gloom-boi · 6 months ago
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The fact that they play I Think We're Alone Now by Tiffany at the end after everyone's dead feels like the biggest kick in the nuts ever
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bacchuschucklefuck · 9 months ago
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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest
#not art#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit#kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it#until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it#until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her#but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs#she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying#probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone#lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear#Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked#but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now#yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc#man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet#and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out#lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help#it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around#but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever#its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous#its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot#yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry#doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it#ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking
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pinazee · 9 months ago
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Sixty five million years off
I. Love. This. Episode. I think of all the eps this one makes everyone eat their words the most with Shawns prediction. Lassie, juliet, chief vick, henry, gus, and even Shawn was a little like wait, i was right? I eat that shit up, yum yum yum!
It is insane the teacher praised Shawn for his project. He taped a toy dinosaur to a remote control car and that receives a 👌 when Gus built this amazing dinosaur head?? I think this is the beginning of them showing how Gus is substance over style and Shawn is style over substance (though in this case Gus clearly got both). Which i think ill talk more about later.
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Im adding artistic talent to Shawns list of mystery talents. He did this in <5 minutes (also genuinely impressed by whoever did draw this)
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Its such a small thing, but it was nice that Shawn was protective of the dino head because he knows it means a lot to Gus. He just sounded so genuinely concerned that it maintain its integrity.
It’s a little contradictory for shawn to be like i know theres a pattern to these dig locations because i know archaeologists, and act flabbergasted that Gus knows you can’t fill a hole for the same reason. At some point im going to discuss Shawns previous jobs and my own headcanons for some of his history, even though the writers pretty much used them as a mcguffin whenever they need him to know something specific (like what t-rex teeth puncture wounds look like).
Shawn will say two things about someone and then they’re friends. This psychiatrist was like yes i am stressed, you know me so well! Would you like to get a coffee? He does this with a lot of ppl and ill probably discuss more later, but this psychiatrist jumped on board immediately haha
And Henry really had to eat shit this ep lol but he deserved it. He initially told the psychiatrist that shawn was delusional and at the end, essentially said, you’re making cops look bad and that hurts my feelings. Somewhere in the middle is a vague hint of concern for shawns safety (which even Chief Vick had to tsk at him for). Love the psychiatrist calling him out for being a control freak, even though it was probably unethical to be like, surprise bitch! This is your therapy session! (Heres a grown man throwing a fit lol)
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That little hug between juliet and lassiter 🥹🥹 mind you, this is S2E2. Juliet and Lassie have known each other less than a year. Besties for life right here
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P.S This makes me flinch in sympathetic pain every time
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peridot-tears · 1 year ago
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During the main quests, this appears p often. It literally means "Jin's Journey":
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But the kanji for "Jin" -- 仁 -- also means "benevolence," emphasizing a respect for humanity. So 仁之道, while it means "Jin's Journey," can also be read as "the path/way of benevolence."
He isn't following the bushido, or 武士道,the way of the warrior/samurai, but rather 仁之道, the way of benevolence, a path that diverts sharply from the "honor" that samurai follow.
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canisalbus · 1 year ago
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My love mine all mine fits your boys so well in my opinion, especially that one line, so soft and tender, one waking up while the other still sleeps and seeing his peaceful face, feeling his warmth so close, watching a smile and a laugh, the sun reflecting off fur, eyes glowing in candlelight, nails (claws?) running through fur, melancholy as tears drip down the other's face, hands clenched too tight, jaw taut
.
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clit-a-cola · 5 months ago
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Saw art of Vi from Arcane where someone slapped a dick on her to bang her gf
like if you hate a f/f pairing that much just kill yourself already you insane homophobe
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