#im still that young boy to you
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"You don't have to call me that" destroyed me.
I will try to put into words why in the next days, but for now I will just try not to break down crying everytime it crosses my mind again.
#it's so visceral i just#im realizing i see so much of myself in dorian and i cant stop thinking about it#critical role#dorian storm#critical role spoilers#its like no mom no..#that name was for people who dont know me#not you too please#please tell me you remember me as your sweet brontë#im still that young boy to you#please tell me you remember#i hated that name because of my duties but never because of you#im sure his mother chose his name i can feel it in my bones#and he feels guilty he abandoned it because what if his mother thinks his baby hates her for giving that name to him#idk man#it's like#i know i went away and made a new identity and now i pretend im all charismatic and carefree but please mom i know you know its not true#tell me you dont believe me#i need to know you dont believe me
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another (relatively) old gf comic i did.
#gf#gravity falls#mabel pines#pacifica northwest#MY ART WOO#this was made in november but that’s old by my standards#bro Paz you GOTTA lock in#you CANT SAY STUFF LIKE THIS#im sure there are people who would agree but still#*disapprovingly shakes my head* can’t believe someone would simp for Ford at any age…. even young Ford.. ESSPECIALLY him.#boy am i glad i’m not a portal era Ford simp making comics making fun of old man Ford simps! that would be WILD ahah
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when adam met 11yo keith he immediately knew that keith was gay and was like i have GOT to support this kid!! (runs into traffic) meanwhile shiro spent years operating under the assumption that keith had like a gender thing going on
#do you see my vision#voltron#shiro#keith#adashi#people are like 'haha voltron renaissance!! klance 4ever!!' meanwhile i'm still stuck in the adashi mines#shiro wasn't entirely wrong but adam was more right.#i like to imagine young adult adam and shiro are going to bed and adam is like 'we need to talk about keith.'#shiro (immediately): don't listen to iverson that guy has it out for keith.#adam: no that's- it's really cute how you always immediately have keith's back. but no i'm talking about supporting keith as he grows up#adam: because i think keith is like Us. if you get my meaning.#shiro: huh.. (oh!! Gender.) i wasn't sure if i should bring it up but yeah i've noticed a couple things.. what's our game plan?#adam: (giving a heartfelt speech about making sure keith always feels loved and cherished)#shiro: (earnestly listens but also in the back of his mind he's planning on how to casually introduce gender-neutral pronouns to keith)#adam is waiting with bated breath for keith to bring a boy home meanwhile shiro is like geez this egg is taking a while to crack...#shitpost#wait this post makes more sense if you buy into my other vision which is that shiro is transgender. always assume im writing trans shiro.
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So... When the game comes out tommorow, are we all gonna do what we did in 2015 and just go crazy about our Cross' again? Or?
#i know some of you never stopped but still#im gonna make the exact same dude all over again lol#i need to make a ref sheet#i miss you seven#come home to me my boy#i was a bit too young to get fully involved in the oc scene last time but now I am 26 and READY#shoves my guy at you aggressively#xenoblade x
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If you liked the entire Five × Lila thing in season four and genuinely shipped them, then I'm so sorry. My condolences. Hope you get better.
#im not just bitter it is genuinely weird#like they WAITED for aiden to become of age so he could do that with Ritu.#and dont bullshit me with “they were together for seven years” FIVE WAS IN THE APOCALYPSE FOR FORTY FIVE FUCKING YEARS#AND NEVER GAVE UP ON HIS FAMILY#not the way he did in season four.#im so mad#im just pretending it never happend#Also lila is a cheater? you guys okay with that?#'erm' 🤓☝️ well she technically gave up on diego-#what if i pulled your bottom lip over your skull.#just say you fetishize young boys and older women together and call it a day.#its still better than admitting you liked this shit.#tua s4#the umbrella academy#umbrella academy#the umbrella academy season 4#five hargreeves#lila pitts
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Will isn't a twink, yet I love it when Hannibal calls him 'boy.'
#its the age gap your honor#i love it#and he still calls him that no matter the dynamic in their relationship#that 'what a cunning boy you are' scene changed me#i know you dont have to be a twink or young to be called boy#im just babbling#hannibal is also not a twink#my exceptions are excessive time travel#or an au where they meet when they're younger#musings#shut up j#will graham#hannibal lecter#hannigram
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Demyx (my beloved)
#kingdom hearts#demyx#honestly is there an organization member i dont like? not really tbh#ok i lied maybe one but even then i find him fascinating so even he gets a pass#demyx being such a good boy who doesnt actually care for fighting then having the whole kh3 thing#where he has the yellow eyes but still just helps the good team vaguely then dips out of the entire game#where did he go and why .... what secrets do you hold young man#i should replay kh3 cause there are things i think i remember but idk for sure#like wasnt there actually a scene where hes just... been benched for being bad at being bad or smth#i really remember a scene where either he says or someone else is like oh yeah he got benched lol#like why does he have to be so funny yet get so little screen time im dying squirtle#though for the record him just handing a mannequin to even and saying peace out for the rest of the game WAS hilarious#this is me living the best time line where not only does demyx just dip and never get mentioned from anyone#but also in an otome i played theres a route where my fave guy just also dips early on#and then in the very end some other LI asks another LI what happened to him btw like where did he go#and the another LI was like oh my god i forgot about him idk man#my favorites just making an appearance and leaving is really funny to me#these tags got super long bc im very stressed and now devoting brain power to vgs in order to not cry
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palisade has been sooo good for me because pre-palisade it truly felt like i was the only jesset guy in the world and now i see people talking about him and i'm <3 <3 <3
#i love this man!!!!!!#when you're a 23 year old 'very young' austin walker revolutionary but then you break the curse and LIVE and continue the work#and you don't even get disillusioned you're just out here. former leader of the WHOLE revolution who served his term and now keeps working#and you work hard to be cheerful and you like your emojis and your friends and your boys#i just love him!!!!!!!!!!!! he still thinks of himself as party of the wolf T_T the only person in that damn election he could respect won#and he stuck with them#im gonna throw up thinking about how much i love jesset city#palisade#f@tt#friends at the table
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the school arc to me is so good because it drags ciel out of his position as a powerful figure and literally places him in the shoes of the person he could have been. the circus arc ALSO drags him out of his position as big bad queens watch dog/head of the phantomhive estate but the school arc feels like a mockery of a future that never was. this is what he could have been had his parents not died. and even then its NOT because he will never be that kid.
he never was.
#ramblings#incoherent beyond belief its 4 am#and im trying to avoid manga spoilers#might add a reblog with more coherent thoughts when i wake up but im off my meds so i cant promise anything#actually correction im being vague w the manga spoilers#manga readers know whats up#idk if there are any anime only ppl who havent been spoiled on The Plottwist Ever yet#but i figured there will be new fans and though im not tagging this it might still get seen so#cant WAIT to see our boy absolutely miserable in animation form should they recreate that arc LMAOOO#which ofc is after the germany arc so thats still a long time away#but STILL. itd be fun i need to see this young teenager lose his mind in color with sound#him relying on sebastian to do all his fag duties (sorry. dredge) so he can work his way up the social ladder#trying to gain power while simultaneously proving that he cant do anything but rely on others#hes always needed help in basically every way and he hasnt CHANGED he just got a demon to do it for him#he learns to lie and charm and cheat and all the while hes a fucking CHILD WHO STILL STRUGGLES WITH NORMAL THINGS#ciel is my little baby and i love him deeply no matter how much of a little bitch he can be#his helplessness isnt just 'oh he was raised in british high society' its also that he never got the chance to learn anything#which to elaborate on that id also have to go into manga territory. iykyk#like absolutely at this point he just refuses to learn how to do things he has a pet demon to do it for him#but.#hi the phantomhives backstory is killing me again its so late#both atlantic and the school arc are just setup for the Big Arc but theyre very good in their own right i SWEAR#also when i rewatched the circus arc a while back and i realised how some scenes were shot#the heavy foreshadowing that i didnt realise. yk. 7 years ago or however long its been since i first watched it#CRAZY#if you are new. to kuroshitsuji. and you havent read the manga. dear god. read the manga#ALSO GRELLE IN THAT ARC IS SO BEAUTIFUL & OTHELLO IS TRANSMASCULINE. OKAY GOODBYE
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youtube
#first time listening to this in like#almost 10 years#but anytime i clean my coffee maker from used ground and i hit it with a spoon to get the grounds out#i think of the opening drums#and sing some of the lyrics#''through rolling hills. and many miles of blood''#''we slept through the rainfall and marched through the mud''#''but you were not like anyone id known''#''you spoke with impunity had nothing to attone''#''when all was fire and the devils out for blood''#''and the boys still too young to drink would drown in the flood''#''id hear you laughing as im coming out for air''#''and id laugh with you pretending that we cared''#Youtube#some of the lyrics are wrong cuz memory
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things keeping me together this week as I prepare for a brutal Milton exam and a philosophy final that's about to kick my backside:
that blessed sandwich and the fond memory of it
friends at the dorm and the shenanigans we get up to while studying and after studying
matcha lavender latte my beloved (I am running out of money to spend frivolously at coffee shops) (I have not been regularly spending money at coffee shops all semester so it feels justifiable to have Little Treats during exam season)
the promise of a SECOND SANDWICH !!!! on Friday (a personal gift to moi)
prospect of sleep
#my finals are kicking my backside and so's the lingering awareness that i am still not immune to the charms of a certain young man#and by charms i mean i learn new things about him and im like well i didnt need to know THAT#for instance did you know that he teaches sunday school at the church he's attending on campus?#i learned this recently and had to close my eyes and think hard thoughts#such as: well. many men DO. but the fact is that they actually don't.#i know this because i used to work in ministry#anyway the other boys i live with and know do not volunteer in ministry.#they're 'busy with school' or it simply has not crossed their mind to serve#the fact that he does and is intentional about it was like a slap to the face :)
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So my brain has been buzzing about Young Dracula again and I realised vlad’s 17 in series 3 so hes assumably taking Alevels. When Jonno turns uphe mentiones he’s taking a look around the Sixth Form. But we hear him revising history with Erin and see him going to a cookery class in episode 8. So what on earth are his actual Alevel choices!
Then I remembered in episode 2 we see his timetable for a brief momemt when the count shows it to Miss McCauley. I haven’t managed to get a clear screenshot espically of the whole thing but it reads as follows:
Monday: DT, home ec, english, maths, art, History Tuesday: science, english, art, home ec, french Wednesday: RS, Science, Sport, Geography, Maths Thursday: Personal and social development, english, history, maths, science Friday: sport, french, english, science, geography
@thatsadsmallchild and I have been trying to narrow down what his actual alevels are as clearly Garside Grange enforces a lot for Alevels. If it didn’t state “lower sixth form” at the top of his timeable it’d be assumed he’s finishing up GCSEs tbh.
Obvious ones for being enforced are Sport, social dev, RS, DT, and home Ec. I would assume Art would be a part of this mostly as Vlad’s a little nerd. That then leaves us witth: english, maths, science, geography, history, and french.
Id assume French is one of his Alevels. An easy pass given he can speak languages easily with vampire powers. Mostly as I don’t see many schools enfocing forgein languages up to Alevels.
We reckon that his other two Alevels are: History and Geography. partly as they suit his personality and partly as Eng, maths, and science seem most likely to be enforced.
Although if he’s doing 4 its almost certainly gunna be english I’d say.
Fun amusing thing we found also is his lunch is from 12:50 till 12:10???
In conclusion Garside Grange would be a shit place to take your Alevels as you barely get to in between all the enfoced classes.
#young dracula#cbbc young dracula#cbbc#vlad dracula#i mean obviously someone just threw together a timetable quickly for this scene and it was NOT meant to be taken so seriously#but its been ages and im obsessed with this show still#funfact his most common classes are eng and science at 4 then maths at 3#his assumed choices are only at 2 times a week???#boy when do you get your coursework done wtf#i had at least 3 classes for each alevel a week p sure#added a read more for tmy poor followers who dont even know wtf im on about
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#like in general#but also last weekend was literally like a skins episode what the fuck im still processing it#we went to see a football match#then spent over an hour getting back to our dorms on foot bc the trams were packed#we were JUST abt to reach the dorm building byt there were these 3 guys standing and they were like#'hiii girls look we reallyREALLY urgently need to get to the club but we re too drunk to call for a taxi wchi means you gotta walk us there#so we were like no fucking way obv we didnt know them AND THEN WENT WITH THEM ANYWAY#we stopped by this one place where young ppl usually meet up to drink bc our friend was partying there#drank her beer lool the boys convinced their friend to go with us qnd this girl turned out to be our mutual friend which is jdjeisbwjkw#so anyway on our way to teh club theres fierworks and ppl shouting celebrating the match we watched#we get to the club we get drinks we start dancing#THE GUY WHO I WENT OUT WITH ONCE AND WHOS OBSESS3D WITH ME BUT NOW PRETENDS I DONT EXIST IS IN THE VERY SAME CLUB AT THE SAME TIME#man#thinks get heated between me and one of these guys we just met#long story short we made out (s&m by rihanna in the background)#at like 3am we left the club and got back and i was glad to finally go to sleep BUt my friend just had to mention that she had whiskey#so we stayed up till 6am in front of our dorm building drinking and being stupid in general#ive got photos of me braiding one of the guys hair and laying on teh ground lol#so anyways#oh also one of the guys lost the fucking thingy ? they give you when youre leaving your stuff in the cloakroom or whatever#so while we were waiting for the cloakroom guy to return with his jacket he was like 'listen i lost the fucking thing#'the moment he returns with my jacket you grab it and we fucking run out of here you hear me?'#and we fucking did 💀#most importantly i got told im a good kisser that night 💯💯💯 but still all that kissing and touching did nothing for me like i said#felt bad for the guy bc he was ..... hmmmmm eager and he was fukcing trying ok so i was out there fake moaning so he doesnt feel bad lol💀
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IM CRYING IM BAWLING IM SOBBING (episode 12 of love live school idol punched me in the gut)
#crow talks#love live#HONOKA. KOTORI. WAHHHHHHHHHHH#they said “let's make this young boy realize that in this one part of his life he was just like honoka/kotori except he had only himself!”#AND IT WORKED.#i didn't think i would cry over love live but here i am crying. (i ramble abt how these girls hit me right in the feels)#it wasnt madoka levels (snot dripping and nonstop tears) just. tears bc of how much i understand both kotori and honoka's struggles.#i was literally kotori last year without an umi. i had to do it myself but it was too late and i never got a proper goodbye.#i was also honoka a few times. kind of. that feeling of a friend leaving you and how you feel it couldve been stopped if you simply paid--#more attention to your choices and the people around you. i understand that part too well. ive now learned to do better and pay attention--#to others and think over how my choices effect things in those around me but im still struggling. im still learning.#i dont knoww..... bushiroad just knows how to make me go 'wow i understand your struggles to a degree so concerning it makes me worried'#anyway time for me to watch ep 13 im probably not gonna cry
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