#like Brennan being alive

[pippin-pippout]

Also I just finished reading the fourth wing and…

MY BOYYYYY 😭😭😭

I felt it coming but I hoped every second it wouldn’t turn out.

I’d love for him to somehow come back. She teased the idea of resurrection being impossible so that means someone’s gotta do it, right?

[ghostlyeris]

this is the only show that matters actually

[13reasonstoeatthatcake]

I really want to know how Lilith Sorrengail feels about trying her best to get her youngest daughter away from whatever it was that her dad supposedly found in the Archives after Brennan 'died', just to get said daughter even more involved with the tyrrish rebellion two: electric boogaloo.

[shalanos]

I just finished reading fourth wing for the first time.

[renegadeontherunn]

if you have it out to kill your pcs you’re a bad dm idc

[roll-for-gaslight]

have to talk about Sam and Evan and Jammer and K and the genius character choices made in the previous episode because it was all so good. It was so goo. Evan Kelmp fucking died. Holy shit.

We're going to start with Evan, because he's the one who died and I can't stop thinking about the image of Shadow Evan slowly collecting his things that K threw around and putting on his nice shoes. Putting his belongings back in his backpack because even if he's dead his things matter because they were the only things he had. Brennan's acting in that moment as well, stretching his arms out to mimic a shadow's distortion in a two-dimensional space and being so confused and out of it for the first several minutes due to shock. He wants to be alive, to be good, to have friends, but he can't even consider the idea that they might want him back. He can't think too hard about whether he truly belongs to them the way they belong to him.

Sam, who loved Evan so deeply that even when he is literally a shadow of himself she smiles at him like he is the whole world. Jammer is freaking out and K can't look at him at all but Sam sees him, knows him, and loves him, any amount of him she can have because Shadow Evan is better than Dead Evan. She's scared but she knows he must be even more scared then she is so when he asks if she can carry him of course she says yes. Danielle Radford I love you and your choice to have radical compassion, such a deep kindness and care within Sam that se does everything within her power to bring Evan back, being careful and risking nothing because she can't just leave her friend like that and she can't lose him. Sam builds the community around herself through that same compassion, helps everyone, loves everyone, but in this episode the full force of that love is narrowed to only focus on Evan and getting him back no matter what.

Fucking Whitney Jammer. "We'll body it." I think about that scene from s1 every single day and that is exactly what he did. Oh, Evan died? We'll fucking fix it. That's the mission now. We'll body it. He made a promise and he's going to keep it. He's furious, and I feel like while he may not have known where to direct it in the moment he may end up having conflict with K because of what happened. Also, just the image of Jammer, not facing his friends and not wanting to turn around to see what happened because if he sees it then its real, then when he does turn around just doing the only thing he knows how to do, taking care of his team.

And K. K, my beloved... Erika Ishii is a genius in every season, every campaign, every role, but I love this new version of K who just can't deal with the idea that they are not a one-man army. They can not fix the world, they can not be as isolationist as they have always wanted to be, they can not single-handedly dole out justice in every situation. They are not the secret dark chosen one who's extra special. They need their friends, their people, need their network. They can't look at Shadow Evan because they know the whole time that it's their fault. They did it again, they broke magic, they killed Evan. They always make the wrong move. I think a lot of this season for them is going to be about slowing down, being forced to take things one step at a time, accepting help, and eventually rebuilding confidence.

[callsign-rogueone]

bedtime

🏷️: some bedtime / cuddle headcanons for our 8 boyfriends, presented for your consideration in no particular order. implications of a sexual relationship between y’all in some of these, but it’s very mild. all of them are gender neutral as well!

Garrick holds you like you’re his teddy bear. it’s so easy for him to loop his arms around your waist and tug you into his chest and put his chin on top of your head and keep you there all night. you fit perfectly in his arms, since he’s an absolute giant. but he doesn’t want to let go of you all night, so if you need to get up… no you don’t. he gets up at the crack of dawn every morning to go lift weights, but he won’t wake you up — he’ll just tuck you in and give you a little forehead kiss before he leaves. he’s always so happy to see you in the morning when you’re up and ready, greeting you with another kiss and a gentle squeeze of a hug and asks how you slept. he’ll tease you lightly if you were drooling or snoring when he got up, but he finds it cute.

Dain is annoyingly responsible, so he’s getting you both into bed by ten every night. but he’s going to help you get ready — picking your pajamas and laying them out for you, packing your bag for the next day while you’re in the shower… makes sure that you brush your teeth and all that, and then tucks you in next to him. he likes having you wrapped up in his arms for a while, your head resting on his shoulder while you drift toward sleep. he’s always so happy when you choose to sleep in his bed, because that means you trust him — both not to hurt you, because it’s kill or be killed in the riders quadrant, and not to read your memories (because MY version of Dain would never 🥰) and also you’re making a conscious decision to choose him, over everyone else you could be with. (our boy’s a little insecure. probably because daddy dearest is such an ass.)

Brennan needs to be bribed into bed because otherwise he’ll work through the night and fall asleep at his desk. method that always works: show up at his office in your cute little jammies, stand behind his chair, gently massage the stress out of his shoulders and use that soft sweet voice to ask him to come up, because you can’t sleep without him :( and he’ll fold immediately. paperwork: abandoned. just let him drag himself through the shower and he’ll be ready to curl up with you. he likes to rest his head on your chest and listen to your heartbeat as a reminder that you’re alive and well. like Garrick, he’s not letting go of you any time soon. you’re stuck there, sorry <3

conversely, Bodhi is the one tugging you into bed. he wants to lay down and cuddle as soon as you’re done with dinner. he likes to alternate between big spoon and little spoon, because there’s perks to both. as the big spoon, he gets to keep you nice and safe and warm in his arms (this boy is SO toasty warm at all times) but also he needs to be touching you at all times. and as the small spoon, he gets to be held the way he deserves! he likes to be facing you, though (I know that’s not technically spoons, but idk the name). put your arm around his waist and play with his hair and let him nuzzle his cheek into your shoulder and give you a few lazy neck kisses before he knocks right out.

Ridoc is absolutely shameless. yes, he likes being close to you and showing love, holding you and keeping you safe and warm, but his favorite part of snuggling is the access to your body. you’re right there — and so are all the soft parts of you that he loves. he can squeeze your hips / thighs / ass / chest, and rub his hands all over, under the guise of helping you wind down. he’s respectful though — if he knows you’re truly exhausted, or you tell him to quit it, he won’t do any of that. maybe one little affectionate pat on the hip, or him rubbing your back a little, but otherwise he’ll be hands off and just go to sleep, holding you gently. apart from the feral side, he’s very sweet, and wants to make sure you’re comfy. he’d let you have more of the pillows and blankets / the better ones, because he loves you and knows you need your sleep.

Liam is another that is tugging you into bed. he gets pouty when you stay up too late doing other things bc he wants to cuddle. likes to lay his head on your chest for, wrap his arms around your waist and let your heartbeat lull him to sleep while you give him head scratches, sweet puppy baby. he’s also subconsciously protecting you this way, curling up on top of you to shield you from danger. you don’t sleep like that all night though, because you need to move around and get more comfy, but you’ll find yourselves cuddled together in the morning, you laying on him, or spooning or something. he always wants to be close to you for a while before he goes off to follow Violet around, so he’ll purposely wake up 10-15 mins early. if he accidentally wakes you up, he’ll whisper like… “Get some more sleep, honey. I love you.” and then when you settle back down against him, he’ll lay there for a while just silently appreciating that you’re his partner and you’re so pretty and sweet and soft.

Sawyer would be a little shy at first, but once you’re in an established relationship, he’s shameless about it. if you get in bed first, he’s tugging you into his arms, or if he gets in first, he’s making grabby hands and opening his arms to you like — ’mere. lemme hold u. when he has his injury, that complicates things a little since you don’t want to put pressure on his leg or cause him pain. you settle for holding hands, like sea otters, and make up for the lost physical contact with plenty of hugs and kisses. once he’s finally healed, though, it’s back to snuggling every night. he likes to be the one to hold you, because he wants to feel like the more masculine partner in the traditional sense (the same with Dain. idk. they just give me the vibe that they want a sweet little partner to protect and hold. that’s why I gave him peach).

Aaric… I’m torn on him. I feel like he’s a little prissy about his beauty sleep, but he’d still cuddle with his partner a bit and share a bed. maybe not every night, though. he’d have a very comfortable bed, both in the castle, because duh, but also in Basgiath and at Riorson house, because he’s somehow acquired extra pillows and blankets; the softest ones, too — rich boy habits die hard. he’d like to be the one holding you, though. letting you rest your head on his chest / shoulder, or being the big spoon for you. he’s pretty tall and pretty built, so it would be nice to have him completely cover you like that. he’d probably also be up super early, like Garrick, and would also give you a soft little goodbye kiss and let you sleep another hour. he really likes the sight of you in his bed (not like that, but also yes like that — I mean more in a sense of: this person is mine, they’re sleeping in my blankets and making the bed smell like them, and nobody else gets that.)

[mareastrorum]

There is a very binary view that in, like, genre fiction that people tend to take of [characters] where they go, like, "Is this character redeemable or not? If they're not, I'm going to cheer while their head gets squashed, and if they are, then every bad thing they did is forgiven and they're my best friend now." And that is a wildly binary way to think about how people get to where they are, the complexities of human behavior, and all that stuff. One of the biggest takeaways I have from, like, uh, studying ethical philosophy was the idea of, like, what is redeemability in theory and what is it in practice? And the idea that a character, and in fact, like, that a person, can be theoretically redeemable-- by the way, what does redemption mean outside of a religious context? I don't know. Like, "redeemable" when you're talking about, like, secular ethics is a way murkier conversation than when you're talking about a literal religious concept of redemption. That being said, like, a person can be "theoretically redeemable" in the way that, theoretically, I can take a hammer and smash a mountain into gravel. Like, I'm going to be alive for another 70 years, I'll find a small mountain made of weak stone, and I have a hammer, so I'll just break it apart with the hammer. Theoretically, you could smash that mountain apart with a hammer. Is that gonna happen? Is that gonna happen? [...] In any case, my point around conversations about the redeemability of characters is certain things can be theoretically true but still never gonna happen. Like, when you're thinking about human beings, it's like: does every human being have the capacity to change? Sure. Are they going to? Do you know how to change them? Could you go up to the bad, bad man and say the perfect thing to make the man not bad anymore? If it's theoretically possible to say something that changes someone's mind, does that mean someone's actually going to say it and that it's gonna happen? Is it gonna happen in five minutes? Or is it gonna take five years? Or fifty? So there's a lot of ways in which-- all of this is to say that the conversations around whether characters are good or bad, and by extension, whether people are good or bad, get boiled down in a way that underlines how easy people would like the conversation to be and that there is a deep ethical desire for simplicity that I fundamentally disagree with on that level.

- Brennan Lee Mulligan, in the Adventuring Party for episode 15 of The Unsleeping City: Chapter II, at 49:18.

Zac Oyama: Well, if you were Naruto, you could've.

[dropoutconfessions]

Going into FHJY I had assumed Kristen (and by extension Ally) was going to be a very hard to watch character that ONLY acted selfishly and impulsively based on the multiple posts I had seen on tumblr basically saying as much.

Imagine my surprise when I realize that Ally plays Kristen in a manner that acknowledges that she requires a lot of growth and development AND recognizes she is supposed to be 17. The decisions made seemed completely in line for the character and the development was far greater than I would expect to see from teenagers in real life (having been a teenager and also working with them…very stubborn crowd).

What I think has happened is that many of y’all expected for Kristen to change from an impulsive, judgey teenager to a mature, well-rounded adult in the course of a year. When reality is often that teenagers are wishy-washy and might taken five steps forward and three steps back. Ally plays Kristen very intentionally, even the chaotic moments. And those chaotic moments are met with a significantly more grounded and realistic sense compared to Sophmore year.

—

Also, while this confession wasn’t a response to another confession…the shoe fits, being upset that Kristen/other players did not trust Kalina is so incredibly illogical to me.

First, in what world do you just forgive and become buddy-buddy with someone that tormented you and your friends for days (months even for some or you) and promised to kill you every time you took another step closer to solving the mystery. I need y’all to like really sit down and think if you would forgive someone who made your life a living hell, killed at least one of your parents (or your friends parents), and wanted you dead. Regardless of whether or not she’s supposed to reflect Cassandra why would they trust her?

Second, the players (and subsequently the characters) operate on the information they have (that’s is whatever they learn from Brennan before, during, or after the session). They will operate based on that information. This is how DND works. If the players know that a character has a violent past that involves the murder/attempted murder of their parent/friend’s parent and are being f told said character is reformed (but gets zero real opportunity to actually gauge it for themselves outside of vague clues) they are going to act in accordance with that knowledge.

Just because you the viewer have come to the conclusion that Kalina was meant to be good and reformed (there’s some irony there that Kalina gets to be reformed without any work and Kristen doesn’t) does not mean the players will. If you’re not at the table you don’t get to call the shots.

Also who’s to say Kalina is actually evil. Maybe she’s still rage starred. Maybe she has other plans going on. Maybe she felt bad for Buddy. It was never confirmed. Fantasy High has been the one series that’s pretty consistently said, “don’t trust everything you hear or see”.

—

Last part of the rant, a final response to that other confession about Kristen.

Why shouldn’t she judge a god that let her die on the first day of school? Why couldn’t he answer her question honestly? Why would she feel any care or love towards an idol that has only represented suppression and pain for her? Why should she be kind to the symbol of a religion built on lies, hypocrisy, hatred, and death? So what if he’s a little nice. Is being nice going to keep you alive?

-

[sparksly-mage-of-light]

Three level Inception PvP Bingo may just be my new favorite Game Changer episode. I knew there would be a third layer and it was so satisfying being proven right. And seeing Brennan looking dismayed at the fact that he didn't just lose the game, but was the game, was pure gold.

And the layered game structure is like layered realities, meaning my Game Changer Multiverse Theory is alive and well!

[ratgrinders]

So Ankarna used to be a giant god of summer/sun, justice, and conviction who, after her wedding to Cassandra, slowly had her domain changed to instead be fire, rage, and conquest. Specifically, it looks like:

Summer/Sun to Fire: From Brennan's wording it seems like Sol may not have had direct influence over maliciously taking over Ankarna's domain (such as Bakur clarifying "was it Sol or Sol's followers?") but that Sol wouldn't have necessarily tried to stop it if there was a mass effort by followers of Sol, as "the gods play a different game" and don't necessarily like to work with gods of their same domain, their first priority will always be to ensuring their own lives and influence.

Judgement/Justice to War/Conquest: Outright stated by Emily in this episode, Ankarna changes her set of scales (a signifier of justice) to a warhammer. Gorthalax says that it was odd that she studied conquest and that she was a "mistress to her people" who stopped leading her followers and instead followed their will. I think maybe Ankarna's followers, enraged at the injustice of the spreading of Sol's influence and the subsequent eroding of their god's domain would think it Right and Just to fight back against it, which maybe warped over time.

Conviction to Rage: Ankarna, marrying a goddess of doubt, had "the conviction to act with the burning fury of the sun" against those who wronged her or her sister. I keep thinking back to Fig's running arc this season of rebellion being in league with doubt as it represents standing up to what you believe to be wrong. Ankarna, full of conviction that what was happening to her was wrong and unfair and with the strength to act on it, would be filled with rage. (Sidenote: Ankarna gaining influence over Cassandra was exactly this, rage and conviction that what was happening to her was unfair.)

And this all theoretically happened while the god was still alive, before they died/became a fiend. Brennan states back in episode 10 that these fire references and the red stars/blades of fire appeared "around the same time period" as the god's death.

So, Ankarna's domain gets changed by her followers, she acts on their behalf, but then perhaps makes the decision to leave and become a fiend instead because this domain is not sustainable to her, thus leading to the death of her divinity.

[respectissexy]

One of the things I love about Evan Kelmp is that, despite everything he's been through, he loves being alive. Most people who have lived lives like Evan have begun to falter on whether survival is worth it, but Evan puts all his considerable mental resources behind optimizing himself for survival. There's a part of Evan that wants to keep kicking the salamander forever, but so far that we've encountered, there's no part of Evan that just wants to let the salamander eat him.

This is something Brennan has described about himself in interviews, where he says he really doesn't relate to his friends who say "if there was a zombie apocalypse I'd probably just kill myself." As someone who is psychologically, shall we say, much more of a hothouse flower, I really find these kinds of characters fascinating.

[wardencommanderrodimiss]

Yes yes yes. Esti wanting to dash off and Brennan stopping her because he knows she'll be blamed if she immediately dives into the middle of it is exactly what I pictured too. And him managing to keep his composure only because he has someone with him who is panicking even more is... so them. Their friendship in a nutshell.

Oh hey, hey Wolf. Remember how the other day you suggested an AU where Ena is the Inquisitor/has the Anchor, and Esti and Brennan are just there along for the ride? One must consider the inciting incident of this, that Esti and Ena split up to better nose around and get information, Esti meets Brennan, and then the two of them go down to Haven to be nosy there.

And then the Conclave explodes. There is talk of one single survivor. All Esti knows is that Ena was up there in the Temple when it blew up. She's dealing with the most profound grief of her life and the only shoulder she has to cry on is that of a human she met four hours ago. And all Ena knows is that she doesn't know where Esti was, maybe she could have gone down to Haven, but more likely she's just - gone. "What do you mean," she asks Cassandra, "that everyone is dead?"

Ena stops the Breach from expanding further, everyone's talking about the Herald of Andraste, but the stories are probably so jumbled that it would take days for Esti to realize that the Conclave's sole survivor is her sister.

This AU concept simply speedruns the angst. Starting right off with it.

Brennan would actually be looking to join the Inquisition, I've realized, because this is the furthest he's ever been from his family, and this will give him something far away from them, money, etc. Like it's a mess rn but if they're taking recruits, he's got experience with horses, he'll be a messenger or stablehand or anything. Like, I think that's something in the back of his mind.

So he's sneaking around to see if they're hiring and also because he's the Trevelyan shame and he wants to be left alone and runs into Esti, who is also sneaking around, and once initial shock wears off, he'd probably offer that she could stick with him because people will assume she's supposed to be there if she's with a human, like, why else would she be walking around openly talking to one? And exploring is more fun with friends, right? And really, he doesn't believe in the Maker anyway, so it might be a bit fun to make fun of everyone.

Brennan is in the middle of a dumb joke, he's been telling them for the past hour to his new friend, (Esti, she'd said, and she likes that he enjoys taking the piss out of everything) and he's making the kinda jokes that are only funny when you're mocking the church that runs everything but you both think is kinda a load of crap.

When the sky explodes. Brennan, when he was in the templars, read a lot to escape. He ended up loving the stars and everything they knew about the night sky because he could always see it and there was so much that was incredible about it.

No book had every described the event happening above them now. The sky is split open, and Brennan has seen wounds. Reminds him of a gash, of split open knuckles, of fights he'd had in training and shallow wounds, of how something supposed to be whole pulls apart.

"What the fuck." He breathes, as he and Esti pick themselves off the ground, immediately having to grab her, "where the fuck are you going, stay here!"

"My- my sister, she was here too, she was up there-"

"Stay here." Brennan drags her back, away from everything, "are you out of you- okay. Fair enough. You're scared, I get it. Esti!" She looks at him, rather than past him like she's gonna bolt for it, "listen to me. I know how things... not like this, but they're gonna look for someone to blame. The last thing you wanna do is be the Dalish they find up there."

Esti blinks and nods jerkily, and Brennan sighs heavily. He didn't want to go back before this anyway. Esti's been the nicest person he's spoken to in the past month.

"And I'll stay with you until we find her, okay?" He offers a hand, "we stick together, deal?"

"Deal, shem."

"Please, Shem is my father's name, call me Brennan." He thinks Esti snorts at that because it's one of the stupidest things anyone's ever said, but as everyone is scrambling about around them in a panic, he's succeeded in one small thing. Keeping either of them from panicking.

He takes a deep breath, "now, what's your sister look like? You came down here, maybe she did too. We'll start where all the Chantry people aren't."

[highfantasy-soul]

I'm loving how complex and flawed both K and Evan are this season - Brennan and Erika bring so much nuance and reality to their portrayals and in that last episode, I genuinely think both characters are right and wrong with what they're doing.

K should never have tried to 'heal' Evan's already healed arm without his permission.

But Evan is wrong when he said "you don't get to tell me what my problems are, I know what my problems are"

I think a lot of people are seeing that as the truth and treating Evan like some perfect person who's magically 100% fully self-aware when like....he's not. No one is. Quite literally, that's why we have community (and interventions) - we don't always see ourselves clearly and friends are there to point it out and try to help us through it.

Evan DOES ignore his own health. Evan DOES ignore his own need for therapy and community. He has convinced himself so thoroughly that no one actually likes him that yeah, it's a problem - and his friends DO get to call that out. [Seriously, Evan reminds me of Goob from Meet the Robinsons where his internal monologue is "Everyone hates me, they all despise me, I have to ostracize myself" while in the background, literally everyone is saying hi to him, inviting him to hang out, etc]

He literally does that to Sam in the previous episode - she tells him he's not awful to be around, that they do love him, and his response? "You're full of shit - you couldn't possibly actually like hanging out with me."

You know how terrible and hurtful that is? It's not just uwu sad boi isn't he so tragic and in need of love!!! That's him treating his friends like shit.

His own self-depreciation reflects back onto the people who care about him and he devalues THEM as people because of it. That's an issue of his he doesn't see. He DOES do things that are harmful for his mental health and when the others encourage him to do things differently, he ignores them and chooses to continue the self-destructive behavior. Is it born of trauma? Yeah. But again, there's an issue of Evan's that he doesn't identify as an issue.

i think Brennan is fully aware of this. I think he's very purposefully playing this character to show that just because a character is riddled with trauma and has been victimized so much in their lives, doesn't mean that it makes them a perfect person. That trauma, ya know, traumatizes them and can lead to them having behaviors that hurt others around them.

K attempting to 'heal' Evan wasn't out of nowhere nor was it them reverting back to their season 1 self (after all, as they pointed out, K wasn't trying to fix him season 1, K fetishized Evan's "brokenness" (*cough cough* just like a big section of the fandom is doing right now *cough*)), that act was the culmination of her loving Evan and him constantly rejecting expressions of that love by saying 'you're faking it - I love you, but you don't actually love me, but I'm going to stay in this relationship for some reason while constantly belittling you and calling you a liar'.

It was K trying to help Evan after seeing his shirt on fire for so many years and Evan being burned alive but continually telling K "no, I don't need to take off this shirt, don't try to pour water on me, I'm fine" all the while his flesh is peeling off and he's suffering and K is getting singed by the fire too.

100% K was wrong to try to heal his already healed arm without his permission, but the sentiment DOES ring true.

Evan isn't perfect and I think Brennan has very carefully crafted him that way. His trauma doesn't excuse the way he treats his friends - and they're perfectly within their rights to call him on it.

[auraisereigh]

"Promise me, Little star"

Chapter One

Brennan Sorrengail x Riorson reader Blurb: When the battle of Aretia ends Star is left to pick up all the pieces her loved ones left behind. wc: 5.6k ☆ SPOILERS FOR THE EMPYREAN SERIES. Violence, Fatal injury, Death, Grief and loss, War. Let me know if i missed something. Uses pronouns: she/her. i use Star as a nickname as y/n sounds weird, and i'm awful with names.

Star's masterlist main masterlist

We are losing. No doubt. The amount of dragons they have on us is too high. We only have the riders who decided to side with my father. And most of us are infantry.

And it's all too clear when you're standing on the top floor of Riorson house.

I might have shot some riders out of the sky but that doesn't kill their dragons. The cross bolt does that, but they're reloading too slowly for the amount of dragons in the sky.

I keep looking out for a certain Black dragon. Hoping he stays alive. He is not a price I'm willing to pay for war.

I draw another arrow and aim at a passing dragon, a brown. I loosen the arrow. It shoots through the dragons wing, not its rider.

I stand there aiming and loosening arrows for the longest time, there seems no end in this battle. The only thing that would show that is the amount of men we are losing.

I'm running low on arrows when I see an Orange dragon go down, behind Riorson house in the mountains. I don't think much of it when I see a Black dragon follow. Naolin.

I look over to my dad on the battlefield, making sure he can hold his own, when I'm sure I turn and run down the five floors this fortress has. I make my way to the back door that leads to the mountains I saw Naolin and his dragon fly to. I don't have to make it too far in. I can hear the two dragons.

I make my way around the mountain quietly, not wanting to startle the dragons. Naolin's dragon, Tairn, knows I'm not on their side but he also knows I wouldn't harm him.

I drop my bow when I see Naolin crouched next to the body of a man, a rider. Blood pooling from his body, an arrow in his chest. He's dying.

I make my way over to them, unarmed, except for the magic I was born with. When I reach Naolin he is not crying, there are tears streaming down his cheeks but he is not crying out loud.

No, he's channeling his power. But he's a siphon, what could he possibly do for a dying man.

"Naolin?" My voice is soft but there's a hint of uncertainty. He is the only person who knows me completely. The one I'm not scared of to show vulnerability or weaknesses.

He doesn't respond but his dragon takes a step back and lets out a noise of disagreement. They must be talking to each other.

"Naolin?" I try again, my voice is much quieter this time.

"Star?" His voice is strained. He looks drained. More than he was when I just arrived.

I crouch next to him placing my hand in the crook of his elbow "it's me." I know that if he was in the right state of mind he would scold me for being here. In the open, where anyone can attack anytime. "What are you doing?" My voice panics a little feeling how hot he's becoming, how pale his skin is, how he looks like he's trying not to scream.

"Promise me something," he starts, his voice strained and rough.

I hold onto him, my magic pouring into him in the hopes to warm his cold body. "Promise me you'll live a full life." He's saying goodbye. No, he can't. I don't know a lot about siphoning but it's impossible to resurrect someone. And that man looks dead. "Naolin?" I try to pull his hands off the body but it feels like they're glued on. "No, please..." My voice has never been so vulnerable. Never sounded so broken.

"Promise me." He says again. "Promise me, little star." I can tell he's on his last life line and my heart slowly shagged. It doesn't matter how hard I try to keep him alive through my magic, I can just feel him slip away.

"Naolin..." My voice breaks completely. Tears slowly start falling down my cheeks. Theres no point in stopping him, there never was. This is who Naolin is. He'd sacrifice himself for anyone he loves. It's what is both beautiful and sad about him. He doesn't think his life is worth more. He never has. But he means more to me. He always has. He's been my rock, my comfort, even when he was days trip away at Basgiath.

I can feel the life drain out of him, his light. I can hear his heart slow and see the color drain from his face and body.

And then he falls down but I keep holding him. I don't want to let go. Not of him. Not of his soul.

I lay down next to him, his body has never been so cold. He can't be gone, no one can resurrect anyone. That other man isn't breathing either. Why would Naolin give his life for him?

Naolin's dragon, Tairn lets out a mourning roar as he lays around naolin and me, the orange doing the same with the other rider.

☆

I don't know how long i stayed there. All I know is that by night time Tairn leaves. Giving one last sniff at Naolin before flying off. Naolin once mentioned Tairn had a mate, he must be going there. Must be nice. To have someone who will comfort you, hold you in a time of darkness. Naolin was that for me.

The battle ended. Seeing as no one is looking for me I'm pretty confident we lost.

Did I lose everything? The question haunts me as I stay curled up by Naolin, looking for warmth but finding none.

The crying stopped a while ago. My heart feels hollow, empty. My head hurts with a pounding headache. My hands a red from blood. My finger bruised from pulling my bow string too much. My eyes burn from the tears. And my heart... Shattered.

In the morning I wake up, my face burning from the sun, my mouth dehydrated. I slowly sit up, hoping it's all a nightmare. But seeing the mountains and blood says enough.

A few tears escape again. But no sounds come out.

I look over to the man, his chest.... Rising and falling. He's alive... But that's impossible.

His dragon looks at me, it's head tilted as it looks at me. It would take me 2 minutes to get my bag from Riorson house.

Something kicks in, something that alarms me to get out of plain sight. I don't want to leave Naolin, but there's nothing I can do now. I get up and walk the two minutes to Riorson house. Take my bag from underneath a hatch, and walk back.

The orange is still there, curled around the man, most likely keeping his body warm.

I crouch down next to Naolin. He once gave me a simple ring, he had the same one, I put mine on a necklace I haven't taken off since I put it on. I carefully take his off his finger. Trying not to feel the dead cold that is now his body. I pocket it safe for later. I'll come back for him later, that's a promise. I give him one last kiss between his brows. He was always much taller than me, it was the highest spot on his face I could reach.

I begin to walk away when the orange snaps my way. I flinch and look at it, its snout going to the man's head, then back up at me.

"I'm not taking a body with me." My voice is void of emotion. The orange huff looks at me with its lethal eyes.

I sigh, too drained to argue. I look at the steep hill i’m supposed to go down to reach my already selected safe place. There is no way i can drag a body over there, dead or alive.

I look back at the man, his chest rising and falling slowly. Naolin gave his life for him, there’s got to be a reason for that.

I shoulder my pack and secure it, i attach my bow to it and walk over to the man, he looks pale but not like Naolin. I hook my arms under his and lift him up, he’s heavy but i’ll manage. Once i have a secure grip on him, i slowly start dragging him to the selected hiding place. The dragon not far behind, giving him occasional glares.

☆

Eventually we get to the cave, the dragon actually fiting in it, i hoped he wouldnt. He looks like he wants to grill me.

I lay his body down near the center of the cave, drop my pack and bow. Getting here took so much time it’s almost nightfall. I go to light the fire that me and my aunt had secured a week ago when a flash of fire blows past me, scaring me, thinking that he finally decided to use me as food. But i feel… nothing. I open my eyes to find the fire place on fire, i look back at the dragon who is settling behind the man.

“That's a way to do it too i suppose.” I mutter. I open my pack and finally drink the water i’ve been yearning for. It feels so good, my entire mouth has been dry for way too long.

After that i lay myself on the stone part of the cave. Perhaps letting a fire on, here, now, during the night isn’t smart but it sure as hell brings some comfort.

The next day, i stay inside, having packed some food to live on. By night time the man wakes up.

I sit myself next to him, he’s too weak to attack so no use in tying him up. His eyes open slowly, the amber shade are in certain places darker than in the places where the fire reflects.

I give him the space to sit up and collect himself, the orange dragon is now awake it's head tilted in a curious manner.

I start speaking once it looks like he collected himself. "Who are you?"

He looks at me clueless. I'd be confused to if I was in his place.

"Where am I?" He says quiet, his voice hoarse from not having used it in a while, or from being brought back from the dead. "In a cave in the Aretian mountains." I start but I need to know. "Do you remember what happened?" I ask cautiously.

"Someone shot me with an.... Arrow. I fell..." His face is scrunched up like he has a headache. "I don't remember anything after that."

"Do you know... Naolin?" The question is quiet, whispered.

His face twists in a painful expression. It says enough. "He... Sacrificed himself for you." A sob threatens to break through. My throat tightens.

I see the first tear fall down his cheek. And my heart aches even though I don't know him at all. Naolin was a beautiful soul.

I come closer to him. Carefully wrapping my arms around him and pull I him into me as he sobs.

I might not know him but we share grief for the Same person, the same soul we lost.

☆

The days after, we go through the motions. I've come to know his name; Brennan. He sleeps most of the time, when he wakes up he eats a little. When food goes low I start hunting to get fish out of a small pond not that far from here. I can't go far away, it's too dangerous now.

We're almost a week later when I go out at night, needing fresh air. It's been difficult not knowing what's happening out there. Feeling like you constantly have to look over your shoulder.

I look up at the sky letting out a deep breath. My heart aching the be with the ones I love. But I'll see them again. Soon.

"I'll see you soon dad, I love you." I whisper to the moon. I look up at the sky one last time.

To see a dragon fly over by the moon, from the moonlight it seems to be a red one.

☆

[angstywaifu]

Take A Chance - Brennan Sorrengail

Part 2 to Love Doesn't Suit You Requests Open.

Masterlist

My eye lids feel heavy. Gods my entire body feels heavy. It’s like I’m wadding through water to even try to open my eyes. When I finally do, I’m met with a dimly lit room. The mage light above my head barely emitting light. And judging by the slight coolness to the room it must be night time. Then the smell hits me. The infirmary.

I was alive. Somehow I was alive. But I shouldn’t be. There was no way to get me to a healer or mender in time. I should have died in the training room. Should have bled out on the floor. And yet here I was, lying in the infirmary alive. No pain. Nothing. A sniffle draws my attention to a chair pulled up next to my bed. The occupant leaning forward with their elbows on their knees as they stare at the floor, one of their hands clasped firmly around mine. Brennan. Brennan who is crying. Brennan who I’ve never seen cry a day in my life.

”Bren?” I say, the words barely audible due to how hoarse my throat was.

Brennan's head snaps up at the sound of my voice, his eyes puffy and red from crying. His amber eyes are still filled with tears. For a few moments, all he does is stare at me, as if he can't believe I've woken up.

”What are you doing here?” I ask him, my voice shaking as those damn words echo in my head again.

”Y-you almost died. You were bleeding out in my arms.” His voice cracking slightly. “I… I thought I lost you. I should have lost you.”

I look down at his hands still clasped firmly around mine, noticing the slight tinge of red to his skin. Blood. My blood. He was the one I heard screaming my name as I fell to the ground bleeding out. The one to pull me into their arms before I blacked out. I should have died in his arms.

”How?” I ask, looking up into his pained eyes.

He drops his gaze from mine, letting out a shaky breath as he squeezes my hand. “My signet.”

But Brennan didn’t have a…. He’d manifested his signet because of me. I reach down and pull the sheet back revealing my exposed stomach. Where there should be long gaping wound, is smooth skin. No sign of the knife that had cut me open. There was only one signet that could make that possible. Brennan was a mender.

”Thank you.” I say softly as I place the sheet back down.

”I’m sorry about yesterday.” His voice so quiet I barely hear it as I look back at him.

”You weren’t wrong though. Love and me don’t go together.” I say bitterly as I remove my hands from his.

A pained look quickly flickering in Brennan’s features as I remove my hands from his. “I just….. I just thought we we’re going somewhere. That you might finally give me a chance after all these years of whatever this is.”

He wasn’t wrong. I wanted to be with him so badly. Everything about Brennan drove me crazy. I wanted his eyes on me, his hands on me, wanted to be his. But I couldn’t. I had seen first hand what came from two dragon riders being together. My parents. My very dead parents. Both gone, leaving me behind.

”I… I can’t deny it’s something I want. But we both know what being a dragon rider is like. Any day could be our last and… I don’t know if I could cope with losing someone close to me again. It’s just easier this way.”

”Easier?” My eyes snapping back to him at the anger in his tone. “It’s easier for you to just keep screwing other people than it is to just take the leap and actually be in a relationship?”

”Yes Brennan. Because if I get attached and you die……” Lies. I was already attached. A tear rolls down my face as I look down, quickly trying to wipe it away before Brennan sees. “I have my reasons. Just because it’s easier doesn’t make it easy.”

Brennan scoffs as he shakes his head, pushing up from the chair, his eyes staring down at me. “You’re a coward. You’d rather push away people that care about you so you don’t have to suffer.:

I pull back the sheets, standing up to face Brennan. Fresh tears rolling down my face.

”You don’t know what I’ve been through. Watching an entire family of dragon riders die, till I was the only one left. Till no one came home. Sorry if I’m protecting myself. But I know I can’t go through someone I care about not coming home again.”

Brennan and I just stare at each other. Brennan’s breathing slow and deep as if trying to compose himself. I’d never seen Brennan like this before. Never seen someone push him to this point before. Brennan was always the level headed calm one. But not now.

”You’re right. I don’t know what its like to live like that. But you’ll stand there, and call that protecting yourself? You know as well as I do you’re just afraid. You’re afraid you don’t deserve to be happy. That’s the real issue here.”

”Because I don’t Brennan! Anyone I’ve been close to, anyone I’ve let myself love has died. I don’t deserve to be happy.”

Brennan shakes his head, stepping towards me. Taking one of my hands in his. “That’s not true. None of it is.” He sighs. “Please, don’t do this. Don’t push me away.”

I reach up with my free hand, placing it on his chest. A war ragging inside my head if I should push him away or not. If I did push him away… There was no going back. If I did that would be it. We’d had this argument before, but never like this. Beneath my hand I can feel his heart beating heavily. Just like my own.

”And what if I don’t push you away?” I ask softly.

He places his hand on top of mine. “Don’t push me away. Give this a chance. Give us a chance. Give this a chance knowing I will do what ever I can to get back to you every night.” His voice almost pleading.

I step forward, a small smile on my lips, my heart beating heavily in my chest. Absolutely terrified of what I’m about to do. There was no going back from this. I take another step forward, barely any space between Brennan and I, having to crane my neck to look him in the eye.

”Then I won’t. I won’t push you away.”

Brennan’s shoulders sag at my words, letting out a breath I don’t think he realised he was holding in. His hands moving to cup my cheeks. “Then prove it.” He whispers, his thumb gently rubbing across my cheek.

I’d kissed Brennan many times before. But as I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him down into a kiss….. It feels different. My heart beating fast, as if this was the first time we’d kissed. But even though this wasn’t the first time we had kissed, this was our first real kiss. Not as friends hooking up. No. We we’re more now. I wouldn’t push Brennan away anymore.