#like A.) fuck you i dont centre my experiences in hate

[whatdoinose]

as a osdd system i feel incredibly isolated in system communities not only cuz theyre so alter-based but also. every fucking OSDDID specific space is founded because they don't like endos and not cuz they just wanna have a nice supportive place for OSDDID folk. its incredibly stupid. like what are we even doing atp?

[vigilskeep]

hey do you guys ever think about how justice’s inexperience with people and anders’ reliance on laughing over his trauma would’ve made justice wholly unprepared for the kind of shame and hurt and fear that was now suddenly a part of him. i think abt it!

[thedemolitionderby]

Sexuality and divinity (a incoherent rant not a fancy essay)

Overly posh title but here to write my thoughts before they leave me 🤡 oh. Also. Obviously this post will be talking about sex so. Don't read it if you don't want to see it. Honestly if you don't why are you still reading lol leave shoo

last warning 👺👺👺👺👺👺👺👺👺👺

--->

On the physical plane I am aroace. I dont experience sexual desire or attraction or 'horniness' towards people, I do feel sexual arousal but it's not towards anything it's just kinda there. However the more connected to my divine aspect I feel...spiritually pan or bi, more bi in particular with a female lean since I find women more attractive. But some guys too. Namely Crocus - for some reason I recently can't stop thinking about him.

Its especially weird because if I weren't asexual I would consider myself straight, so thinking about a dude all the time, and bro I'm even feeling some heat on my cheeks about a dude- it's just so surreal to me. I feel a ache and loss over him - I guess I get to experience alloromantic/sexual folks feelings in a way even though my feelings are from another realm. Cool I guess.

Its definetly ...something for sure. Its like my attraction is limited to another plane and dosent translate over here but due to me often being in more than one things start to blur but it isn't something I feel in this realm.

I would like to explore these feelings more even though its like...another realm's sexuality bleeding into mine (I am very asexual over in physical, I have kinks but I hate the idea of someone doing them with me its like wtf no ew, which is...something because my kinks do centre around a specific type of person - which again if someone like that offered to act it out with me I'd absolutely HATE it!)

It is very interesting! I guess I'm just ace in one realm but I think one way to explore the other realm's bi-feelings is to do something like I would there here. Though ugh everyone in this realm who told me they were good with having one night stands without any romantic entanglement ended up admitting they are into me so. Fuck. This is actually happening so often I'm like (??) It's not even remotely a flex - when it say this people think I'm boasting but it's a geniune annoyance and I hate it.

Yea anyway some day in this plane I might sleep around some but istg I'm going to make sure my partners aren't lying about not being attracted to me. I would do it with strangers but I dont want any unpleasant surprises regarding BO and cleanliness. Whereas with someone I know i can just sniff them and since I know them I know they generally don't smell and wash regularly.

And yes I will indeed shower also.

-🪽

[waywardstarfishkid]

Outragiously long and stupid rant incoming!

I like never make posts on here but I wanted to scream into the void about heartbreak high. Since s1 I've seen like really strange takes and half the time I'm like is it because people don't know how Australian school is different or is it a lack of critical thinking.

Like in s1 I only saw people either hating or loving spider and don't get me wrong either of those is valid but the way people were explaining it was strange to me.

For me I didn't like spider but not because he was some unrepeatable arsehole I actually think he was a great representation of a lot of Australian guys I knew growing up. Like he says dumb shit but then when things are serious he does the right thing like he helped malakai with the cop (then said fucking stupid things after) and he helped amerie at the festival, he wanted to help harper and let her in even though it would mean he and American would have to stop hooking up.

In comparison I swore people liking dusty who in my eyes was way worse than spider. He acted all woke like he said the right things and then did shitty things like shaming harper and deciding to frame jojo.

Like theyrr both shit but I would trust spider with my drink over but maybe not dusty.

Then ant I understand if you like ant and spider together but I think people maybe don't understand how touchy guys are with each other in Australia. Like gay straight bi whatever guy friends hang off each other and I think it's actually healthy to show that. I also saw someone complaining about spider and ant doing gay shit but only as a joke but I never saw that like I don't think any of it was a joke it just wasn't gay. Like spider calling him pet names them cuddling and stuff is just affection which is actually great especially for men who often don't know how to have affection that's not sexual.

Also can we agree that ant just doesn't care about the gender he's hooking up with like I don't think he's bi I think he's just into who he's into (is that pansexual? Sorry).

I was a bit disappointed with all the bisexual characters ending up in straight relationships but that's mostly because I really wanted an ant malakai and I liked Rowan Malaysia before it went to shit. But at the same time I dont like how people critiquing it often feels like Bi erasure. Like I'm a bi woman whos first gay relationship ended because my gf (lesbian) cheated on me with a lesbian because she constantly thought I was cheating on her with my guy friends and for a long time I just dated guys because I didnt know many bi women and lesbian girls kept being horrified that I would go near a dick (not all of them my ex was very understanding and actually encouraged me to embrace my sexualising when I was just a baby bi) but my point is I totally understand how having a straight relationship when bi can actually be more understanding (at least in mine and my friends experiences) and it's totally valid even though the relationship is straight.

Also people angry about not as much quinni (I agree more quinni she and cash are my loves) I'm actually happy they took a back-seat with her on the relationship front like her and Sasha were a big deal/quinnis first relationship and I think it wouldve really messed quinni up with how it ended. I also love that they're not just centring her storyline around being the gay girl you know like she I a multifaceted queen.

Also for the Sasha redemption, I get why people are calling for it but unlike spider and dusty like Sasha didn't really do anything wrong (except for how she treated quinni but they talked at the end of s1 and seem to be moving to a place of good friendahip) shes mostly just annoying and pretentious like the other idiots actually fuvked up. I don't really want a Sasha redemption I just want to see more of her character make her a bit less of a two dimensional hipster, which I honestly think they only didn't fo because they had a lot of characters to juggled Sasha had to take a back-seat so Missy could shine (and I love Missy so I'll allow it also her and malakais friendship means everything to me the indigenous representation that shows not just the aspects of country and family but also shows them as fully formed characters I LOVE)

Sorry for the obscenely long rant this is just all my thoughts from s1 and s2 so ignore it by all means and also if you disagree that's fine and you are probably right lol.

[mclwcc]

they haven't quite turned on vcarb the way they did mclaren but from what i've read that seems to be bc daniel keeps saying "it's not the same problem as mclaren" when like idk dude if the only time you've finished a race ahead of yuki was bc you got put on softs at the end of the race it is smelling very shades of mexico '22 to me. just without the having to make up a time penalty bc u punted yuki off the track.

i can say yuki is already getting the lando treatment though. "hOW MANY RACES HAS HE WON AND YOU DARE SAY HES PERFORMING BETTER THAN AN 8 TIME GP WINNER?" (ya i'll go to the top floor of my apartment and shout it into the void through a megaphone too what are you going to do about it) only this time there's a heavy dose of racism added in. the amount of people i have seen calling yuki a "pokémon" derogatorily and refusing to admit the racist connotations there are wild. not to mention the ableist terms i've seen be used to refer to his height. it's all very gross and yet again daniel says nothing to even try to prevent it. it's wild how someone always has to get harassed by his fans regardless of if he fails or succeeds.

ok so like first of all yikes. i rly rate yuki but im v selective w my online (especially my tumblr)

experience so i rly almost never venture out of my mclaren-centred bubble, which means i never rly see what ppl say abt him. 'pokemon' is actually vile like thats so clearly racist bc its not even a pun of his name at all or any sort of reference to his personality?? AND the fact that its a cartoon w the infantilising implications of that... ku's essay on the infantilisation of east asian drivers u will always be famous.... like u guys ever noticed how nyck is also rly short and has a youthful face and nobody ever talked abt him in the way they talk abt yuki? much to think abt

now. permission to be mean here but even if its 'not the same problem as mclaren' is the problem not STILL the fact that daniel in his 10+ year career hasnt bothered to understand the way the engineering of f1 cars works in like any material way and thats the reason he always struggles to identify his driving issues / has a disconnect with his chassis unless its tailored exactly to what he already likes and knows how to drive? i saw that bit from newey's book about how max and checo give rly good feedback and so did webber and vettel and it was kind of subtly implying that during the bit in between (the daniel era) he designed less effective cars be he wasnt getting enough precise feedback.... i genuinely havent been able to sleep at night since. like it felt like smth slotted in my head like aaaah this has been the problem all along. if only daniel wasnt so busy going on podcasts making fun of the idea of women in motorsport and actually spent some time to do some way overdue physics homework... lol. Imao even

the truth of the situation is yuki is in the best form of his career and also wiping the floor w daniel. like factually so. EVEN with team orders favouring daniel so his fans cant say its bc of that like they did with mclaren. i genuinely think its quite sad the amount of personal stock daniel fans have clearly invested in this mans career and how much it bothers them when he doesnt perform to their expectations - like he's ur driver, swallow it and accept it, because thats what he's been doing to try to move on. doing all this intense online hate bullshit only makes him look bad bc it highlights how badly and for how long he rly has been embarrassingly underperforming. but by this point it feels like they WANT him to underperform bc they crave that martyr underdog victimised figure to root for and fight for - which is why ur totally right anon, that someone always inevitably gets harrassed regardless of if daniel is failing or succeeding. 

i will say one thing which is that i rly dont think daniel is at all aware of whatever the fuck his fans do on twitter and instagram (and deffo not tumblr lmao). so i dont think this is an issue of like him telling his fans to chill out - and it doesnt work anyways, bc lando literally has made talking abt how much cyberbullying sucks a part of his personality and theres still some rly mean and hateful lando fans (not in a fun way like me<3 lol) (i hate on my own blog and in discord groupchats). so like thats not necessarily on him, its more on netflix for making him the lowest common denominator guy to like, ykwim? also the unfortunate reality is that despite the tshirts and the kneeling (or no kneeling) no one rly seems to stand up to defend the drivers of colour who literally constantly get SUCH vitriol thrown towards them w any occasion. im not expecting daniel of all ppl to say anything abt it ngl

[ennaku-sirri-da]

ALL I KNOW IS THAT THE ENDS BEGINNING

[ Plaintext: All I know is that the ends beginning ]

[ ID: Digital fanart of Dr.Habit from the game Smile For Me. It is done mostly in grayscale. The style is semi realistic leaning more on cartoony. The faint rough sketch lines are visible.

However his design is from my AU Roseverse. The changes are as follows. Habit is is fur covered. His face is gaunt and freckled with protruding furry cheeks, then fur-ruffles under his makeup-applied eyes, then a thin pencil stache with surrounding chin and neck hair. The middle of the neck is surrounded by a scar, and he has an Adams apple. His teeth are broken, uneven and he has one snaggletooth fang. His voluminous curly hair is more subdued and messed up, but he is clearly balding on one side too with stray hairs perking up.

The background is black with a very mild grey light at the centre, and covered over with static. In the centre is a bust of Habit till his freckled shoulders. He is done in mostly light grey tones, face is left in white with some blurry, sometimes splotchy, uneven shading. The dark grey is used for emphasized features of the face and contrast like eyes and beard. There is some blurring of the lines in various places. Habit has an expression of anger and sorrow combined, his wrinkled brow furrowing deep as his glass eyes crack and oil spills in long lines from them akin to tears. He scowls strongly and his eyes are narrowed. His head slightly tilts at the viewer, facing front.

White text written in a sort of cursive style above him reads, " And one night I realized". The text below him reads," I never had a choice. I'd have to give years for something I don't really care about "

At the very bottom of the drawing a small, widely round-surfaced candle burns with a small flame out of the darkness. It is a real picture edited in. End ID]

--

Talk under the cut! This one's really personal. It's based on my experience, and was done during the same time. TW for very heavy topics, please heed the tags

These are the very words in a message I sent a friend:

"God dude it just keeps weighing on me that I have to give five years for something I dont really care about and very well much more

Realising how my chronic insecurity and constant abuse by my parents and loss of identity and them never supporting my interests at all is all correlated to trapping me in this golden cage

I wished I failed NEET

But then what could I have done to change it? Nothing in my life ever indicated strongly that the stream of Arts was a real viable option I should take. Except maybe like a few English teachers but they couldn't break my mindset

It's like I was fucking doomed from the day I was born to them to be unhappy

And now I have to work and work to be exactly what they want they wanted me to be all along

I cant take it I feel like ive been buried alive"

It was HORRIBLE. I went only for a few days to medical school, but every day I felt like dying. I really seriously wanted to kill myself. I have many times before, but this time the special dread of finality set in again like Judgement Day. I came home, the portion kept building and building, the teachers kept talking, the students kept talking and laughing, the building kept making me get lost, my family could only encourage me more, I couldn't take ANY of it. I HATED them. I HATED this WORLD. This cruel world. I cried until my eyes and heart ran dry when no one could see. I cried until I became nothing more than a hole in my chest and I called the suicide hotline and they couldn't help me.

And you know what? I fucking survived.

I'm here, bitch. I'm here and I'm breathing and I'm happy and I'm going to the stream I wanted, B.A English. I don't care if one more person has to be bewildered that I left MBBS. My precious life is more important than that.

It was like a miracle. I think God is on my side, for some confounding reason. There was a court case involving my seat for another student's, and I heard about the news right on the day I'd decided to "leave". I'd made plans and said goodbyes and everything. And there I heard it. Leaving school, hearing my aunt tell me, like a golden ray of light from heaven. Of course I jumped on the opportunity. No, don't fight for my seat. I've been very unhappy and in a dark mood. This is not what I want to do in life. I told my father this, and he surprisingly agreed. With his support I could be a little calmer about everyone else arguing with me not to do it. For once right now he did something right.

What can I say? I got admitted to an Arts college just yesterday. And this still evening felt like a fitting time to pull this out again and post it. Reminisce. On where I was and where I am now. Be thankful that the end began, but only the end of my old life and the beginning of a new one.

Thank you to every single stranger, friend and family member who was kind to me during this time. To that one fanfic creator who told me to hang in there, to my dear friend who heard out all my deathly woes day by day and held me tight in spirit, to my family who eventually came to support me and say I could do what I wanted(even if it was a hard process).

I will never forget that kindness. And now as I grow up into the world, and hopefully do what I want to do, I hope I can show the same kindness,

And I hope I will be happy.

[str8aura-no-not-that-one]

I would like to recommend an album for the sole fact that the first third of it is a narrative about transformation. "Murder of the Universe" has the first story centre around the Altered Beast, I was giving it a listen recently and thought it was something you may enjoy the narrative aspect of.

Ill admit, while this is my first experience with King Gizzard, ive been around the block a few times and nowhere from what ive heard did i begin to anticipate they might have an affinity in adapting Sega Genesis videogames into albums.

Because of that, I'm unfamiliar with the greater Gizzard Universe, and needed a bit of clarification from Genius on some parts. That being said, I very much enjoy the music and the narrative it seeks to tell, even if to a layman, it seems very much anthological. Obviously I enjoyed Part 1 and the Altered Beast best, although I recognize Part 2 and the Lightning Lord as the much more technically impressive part. Once I realized the album was trisected, I considered turning it off now that I had gotten what I had came for, but stuck with it out of respect and curiosity.

it could be that i dont typically listen to rock operas, but parts do seem to drag on for a long time. I know, calling prog rock long is like calling the sun bright, but i enjoy the length of albums like Dark Side or Lamb Lies Down on Broadway because they're slow and transcendant and give me time to zone out. When an album like Murder wants to keep a tense atmosphere, it keeps said atmosphere going across 8+ tracks, and eventually i get bored of hearing the same riff. Really, there were no slow parts in this album.

I appreciate the Altered Beast narrative for what it is, the the constant flip flops between perspectives before they eventually blur into one. It achieved what it set out for and complemented it with some nice descriptions, which are always the best parts of tf of course. From an artistic standpoint, it was very impressive, if slightly generic.

I wasn't a particular fan of the spoken word narration. The actual singing consisted of very basic rhyme, which was frequently evocative, but too short and sparse to ever allow me a chance to get into it. Sung narration with that same style of evocative language, and a good metal scream or too would have greatly increased my enjoyment.

And the AI voice narration... Whoof. Nobody could have seen what would become of AI voices, and I'm sure they only did it to make their character sound properly inhuman, but this time it's simply a victim of time and happenstance.

But for good things to say about part 3, the association of humanity with the revolting act of vomiting fucking slaps. I hate to self-fellate, but i wrote a fic a while back about a transhumanist who wished to make himself feel disgusted to tie himself to his old flesh body (which is so far removed from MLP canon im sure ill just deponify it at some point and release it as a short story), and i still love the idea that the imperfect and wretched parts of our biology are what make us people. The ending track might as well make up for every criticism I had previously about the album. It's fucking perfect, and it's not even what i came for.

7/10 no notes

[toburnup]

ill be a iylo steve defender until the day i die but i just wanted to touch on this aspect of their early relationship where theres the power imbalance of steve getting to deicde the terms of when they meet up and unintentionally lording it over eddies head and fucking it up --- ive like experienced this to a degree and ive been in steves shoes (minus eddies physical trauma) where you are always reaching out to those you love and where you are always the one who drives over the one who messages first and the one who reaches never the ones who takes

and then thinking that maybe youre making a nuisance of yourself and that the person you love struggles enough and they dont need your bullshit on top of everything else so maybe it would be best to. leave. but you always find yourself coming back one way or another because you cares about this person and you want to be in their company and you want to help them if you can and it feels like this ouroboros where you are your own destruction and its neverending

(to see it from eddies perspective too was really important to give us this clarity into how it feels to be on the other end of "you secretly hate me so i will leave" and how damaging it can be to be the one who is left)

anyway i am a iylo!steve defender and supporter but hes also my fucked up little meow meow and i love him

ahh i really appreciate this whole message!! steve is tricky. he's a bit selfish and self-centred, which is one of the big reasons why i keep going back to the eddie pov. because steve doesn't really... recognize his own moments where he steps outside of himself and meets eddie where he's at.

steve never really resented the effort he had to put into their early relationship and how it was skewed in his favour. he almost didn't notice it, and definitely didn't consider how eddie might feel about the situation. steve has a certain brand of self-involvement that leads him to think "if i feel (x) about this situation, everyone else does too" - he views his own feelings and experience as the standard (something he's getting better at tho).

i get what you mean about always being the one to reach out. it's made all the more tricky in iylo because eddie couldn't reach out to steve even if he wanted to.

[ultradiqueer]

A 'Brief' Comment on the Quadrants (and how humans interact with them)

so this is gonna be a mess sorta cause im not good with formatting. also SORRY it took so long for this to be made im miserably low on motivation rn. but yaknow

For anyone who (somehow) isnt aware, the trollian quadrants are 4 separate, unique relationships a troll can be in. Hence the name "quadrants" since, yaknow,,, theres 4 of them

Of these 4 quadrants there are: 2 conciliatory, 2 concupiscent and 2 red, 2 black. Red-rom is for quadrants that are more centred on feelings of pity (being the trollian ~equivalent~ for love), and black-rom quadrants, hate

♥♦♠♣

♥ Matespritship (represented by the heart <3) is the red, concupiscent (Flushed) quadrant. It is the most similar to human romance, so I won't really explain it cause, yaknow, humans/non-trolls can experience it (and other trolls know what its like anyways)

♦ Moiraillegiance (represented by the diamond <>) is the red, conciliatory (Pale) quadrant. It centred on emotional regulation, extreme care expressed by both parties, and is generally utilised most in (social) troll society to help mitigate the extreme violence trolls are prone to

♠ Kismesissitude (represented by the spade <3<) is the black, concupiscent (Pitch) quadrant. Being a black-romance quadrant, it is more centred on feelings of hate, and is generally a more ~intense~ relationship as a result (keep in mind that feelings of Hate and just general Dislike for another troll are very clearly different, at least in my experience.)

♣ Auspisticism (represented by the club o8<) is the black, conciliatory (Ashen) quadrant. This quadrant in particular is an outlier from the others, at it contains 3 trolls (which is generally unheard of in regards to the other quadrants, which only contain 2). This quadrant arises when a 3rd troll feels Ashen for two trolls in a Kismesissitude (typically, the kismesissitude that one would feel Ashen FOR is unbalanced, or excessively violent). The third troll (being the Auspice, or Auspistice) would then mediate between the two Pitch trolls to ensure they dont Fucking Kill Each Other

♥♦♠♣

My problem with human's interactions with the quadrants is that: They don't understand them, and don't make an effort to.

When you see a human post about Matespritship, they get it right, since its the quadrant most comparable to typical human romance. That's all fine and good, obviously

The real issue arises when they try to talk about any of the OTHER quadrants

For example, Moiraillegiance. A lot of humans look at moiraillegiance as the "besties" or "best friends" quadrant. IT IS NOT. It is a ROMANCE. It is in the QUADRANT ROMANCE SYSTEM for god's sake.

Ashen romance clearly just goes over humans' heads. Most seem to not consider it at all when it comes to art or fanfic or anything, since its just seen as an "add-on" to Kismesissitude, which is WHOLLY incorrect, and frankly, really fucking rude. The Club is a quadrant that is centred on another trolls' Spade quadrant, yes, but that doesn't make the quadrant inherently less. It is just as important, and valuable, and REAL as any other quadrant, and frankly, I'm quite fucking tired of seeing how little humans seem to care.

And Pitch romance. Oh. My. God. I hesitate to say this is the most misrepresented quadrant, due to how wide-spread the issue is with Moiraillegiance. But holy god. If I see. Another fucking person. Say that "pitch romance is inherently abusive". I'm going to lose my mind. First of all: Trolls are an alien race. The concepts of abuse, romance, love (pity/hate) and so on are COMPLETELY different for us. People don't ever seem to take this in to account when talking about how ""toxic"" kismesissitudes are. Secondly: Did you even fucking READ the quadrant explanations? Like at all. Did you just skip over the Pitch quadrant? Pitch romance's MAIN FEELING is HATE. Fucking obviously theres going to be insults, and fighting. That is the nature of the quadrant!!!! Can pitch romance be abusive? Absolutely it can. just like how ANY OTHER QUADRANT can. But it being Pitch doesn't ~make it toxic~. Pitch romances can be abusive if theres an imbalance in hate, or manipulation or violence that exceeds the boundaries of what can be considered Pitch. For example, a purpleblood using chucklevoodoos to psychically torment their jadeblooded kismesis, even though it's been established that that is too far and excessively cruel, that would be considered abusive! If a kismesis emotionally manipulates their pitchmate? Abusive! A lot of things that would make human romance abusive do apply to pitch romance. But Pitch romance being ~kinda violent~ and involving ~Hate~ doesn't make it abusive by default, considering That Is The Nature Of The Quadrant (not that humans CARE because they're not trolls)

Additionally, I am extremely fucking bothered when humans use quadrant terms to describe their relationships with other humans/nontrolls. Because humans CANNOT EXPERIENCE THE QUADRANTS. They just Can't. It is not a thing they are Capable of experiencing. A human cannot be Pale for another human. Two humans cannot be Pitch for each other. And while human romance does fall close to Flushed romance, it is not the same, so the issue applies there as well. Humans cannot, and never will, experience the true emotional and romantic scope of the quadrants. A human cannot have a moirail (and someone calling their QPR their moirail does not work, because moiraillegiance is a romance). A human cannot have a kismesis (that'd just be a rival they have feelings for, which doesn't make it a kismesissitude). Ashen quadrants cannot exist between humans.

In the case of a human-troll romance, it's up to the troll to decide if they want to use quadrant terms (NOT the human. For reasons I hope are obvious considering the above ~rant~). If they decide to use quadrant terms, sure. Who am I to say anything about it. But it is woefully inappropriate (and I'd go so far as to say it bastardises the terms entirely) for humans to use quadrant terms for their relationships with other humans

As always, I'm totally down for asks or questions. Sorry it took so long for me to post about the quadrants lol

[novemberdevils]

Apparently it was only puck drop thoughts because I have fallen asleep on my couch, I have dreamt of those idiots they decided for some reason to have their make out session in the merc garage?? Dont ask me why; anyway a journalist took a picture of them and posted it but no one can tell who is it just that they are a rb and a Ferrari driver so the chaos begins with carlos and perez holding this over their head -idk dont ask me I was EXHAUSTED so I will not be held responsible for my dream-, and im actually writing this on different days because I had to babysit my nieces and nephews so this will be a mess because I genuinely forgot what I said and I will Not reread the mess I made-how you read is beyond my comprehension as half of the time I write it after midnight where my brain cells are long gone-

Onto ROUND FOUR we go!! And it’s Bahrain!! I saw my first ever Ferrari 1-2 there so it has a special place in my heart, “How do you know they’re always talking about you if you don’t even know who they are?” Because jack is the centre of the universe next question, spanish media hating the other Ferrari driver more likely to happen than you think, oh jack believe me; lex, nico and I all love when you are a bitch to the media but the difference between all of us is I dont even exist in the universe and one is a fan but nico is getting the point across in how we appreciate cunty jack, I HATE FERRARI DAMAGE CONTROL like let them be haters it generates funny memes and radios why are you so scared of cunty drivers?, you know what I think jack needs?-aside from therapy- someone in his corner that isn’t involved in any type of racing; there is a lot of thing that he might be able to talk about if the other person doesn’t have an idea about what it means exactly to being told (you dont belong here) but that person wouldnt understand how bad it is for carlos to say that so yeah he needs someone who wouldnt judge and would let him fucking talk without thinking let his thoughts be out rather than being in and locked.

I NEED someone else’s pov because jack is such a critic but I also feel like the media hold him to this standard that even a single word that he misspoke would be ok; he is held to this high standard because he crafted it himself but the media doubled it so they made him seem like someone who doesnt lose his cool and is an angel even though he is a RACER who gets pissed off but they use that against him say oh look the American jack hughes has lost his cool today; it always go back to his nationality, jack cant be this bad at reading nico I feel like he cant read read him because he himself doesn’t understand what is happening and he is projecting that feeling to nico so he doesn’t have to feel that himself?, IT MAY ALSO BE IMPORTANT TO NOTE THAT JACK HUGHES HAS BEEN SPOTTED AROUND THE RED BULL HOSPITALITY THIS SEASON, AND HISCHIER HAS BEEN SPOTTED AROUND THE FERRARI HOSPITALITY. Those embarrassing bitches are making everyone panic and they are too busy making out to realise it.

I feel like this is what made jack so concerned about how people perceive him because he DID start in Ferrari he wore that red for as long as he remember and he is the only one in the whole grid that has the responsibility of being an a Ferrari driver and an American so he feels so lonely in the fact there isnt anyone in the world who shared his experience and feelings, That he was around Red Bull so he could yell at and subsequently make out with his title rival? I mean you COULD say it no one really told you not to do it but I fear that if anyone would know about it jack would be judged way more than nico, realky carlos?? Telling someone that they dont belong and then they acted accordingly by saying fuck to everyone and now you call him dramatic? Please shut the fuck up genuinely shhhh, and we have reached the agreement!!! I btw have this unexplained terror that this would come back to bite jack in the ass so I hope you dont do something drastic like having carlos lie to the media about it, I feel this is the bad thing about teammates because you do want them to race each other but at the same time it’s such a thin line between getting the points vs crashing and not having a single point so it’s a delicate balance, but also as jack said if they force them to yield positions did they really earn? Because he didnt pass him he was given the green light to pass and sometimes sure it would make sense if the driver behind is fighting for wdc and the one in front of him was out of the mathematical position to earn I will get behind it but only then, omg nico stop it why are you touching jack’s shirt????, “So quiet, Hughesie,” nico it’s fine you can tell me if you like having people watching you while you have sex but dont drag jack into it, nico must get something from all of this?? Like getting close to jack in front of people and cameras; being tge one who decides when is the conversation has ended but what does he think about everything? Jack is such an unreliable narrator to tge point he is unreliable with himself about himself. 

The phone-call with Trevor is here!!! Trevor was the one who I talked about earlier about understanding the racing but not understanding the place he is from, ok as im writing this my brain cells is not cooperating but is Trevor’s rookie seas based on someone? because I swear I remember a rookie almost winning it but I dont remember who but I think it was Colton,  “I hate my teammate’s guts and I want to knock him off the track, and I want to sign with Red Bull.” Ah a plot for a tv show, poor trevor is going through a whiplash of emotions first he is comforting jack tehn boom jack drops the bomb that nico kissed him, although I do want to say a couple of things but I feel like the people around jack have failed him in the way that they are letting him handle all of that pressure and expecting him to be ok; he is the first American in how many years to be in f1 AND leading the championship and then to add on top of that pressure he has Ferrari pressure but everyone keeps ignoring how he is drowning and he asked for help in his own weird way; asking carlos how was nico as a teammate and the outbursts in the media all feel like either a cry for help or a cry for someone to stop and tell him that they are proud and the voices in his head are not true, back to jack saying nico kissed him first the fact that he said it without thinking support my theory in that if jack was talking to someone who wouldnt judge him or run to the media to tell them you wouldnt believe what I know would get the unfiltered version of jack and rn the only person who fits the pill is trevor-nico too but unfortunately jack doesnt trust him-.

YOU CAN’T HAVE A TOP-LEVEL TEAM WITH TWO “FIRST” DRIVERS. The fact that this is a real life quote is INSANE max and nico being in love with their rivals that it’s borderline embarrassing for everyone around them, jack and the fake-meditating is a bond stronger than anything, a Ferrari 1-2!!! Sure it’s quali only but still, but nico 6 bud what has happened but sid being 10 in a haas damn he really dragged that car all on his own, The interviewer makes a face, as if he wasn’t expecting Jack to say something like that. Both of them are embarrassing and obsessed with the other you shouldve seen this coming a mile, NICO VISITING JACK!!! And he remembered the room number!!  “You were off your game in Suzuka,” nico you sound in love get it together, but omg their conversation is insane like telling each other that they are disappointed because they didnt achieve maximum results and someone else beat them; embarrassing behaviour from both, this is getting quite repetitive but why the fuck is nico so hot? No need to sweep my of my feet and im falling for a rb driver how embarrassing of me jack get your shit together so I can return to righteousness, it’s so fucking funny that nico can read jack like an open book but jack questions if nico is playing mind games or not like nico KNOWS camera!jack is as a liar as it gets and the jack he gets when he is in the room with him is the real jack; the bratty and sassy jack, “You’re cute when you’re flustered,” Nico says after a beat, voice dipping lower than it was before. It does nothing to help Jack’s situation. “I am not,” jack I hate to break it to you but you ARE cute when you’re flustered, jack wanting to ask why is nico disappointed in him boy your praise kink is being put on blast calm down, oh jack baby putting his best picture on the camera so the people who hates him like him back is so painfully close to him but his is on another level because he focuses too much on the people who hates him and distance himself from the people who actually love him for him, jack doesn’t realise that he has the power in whatever fucked up stuff nicojack are doing but I need those two to talk before something goes wrong, nico gives jack the opportunity to be nothing none of the pressure is there when nico holds hum and it’s a high that he never gets other than being with nico and it messes with him so badly.

“You’ve got this one, Jack,” Dave tells him DAVE CAN SPEAK!!!, [SAINZ; RADIO]: I WILL DO WHAT I WANT. Ok kimi-please get the reference-, “Still on Plan A?” NOT THE LETTER PLANS I thought I escaped them but apparently I did not, I fucking HATE safety car restarts it always too stressful for no reason, although I prefer the standing start because rolling start feels too sudden and stressful if it wasn’t beneficial for my driver, THE STRESS OH MY GOD it’s too early for me to get this stressed the sprint isn’t on for three more hours, A JACK WIN!!!! Everyone stay calm A JACK WIN A FERRARI WIN YAY!!!!, I have always wondered what do drivers feel when their national anthem is played on the top step especially of it was one that doesn’t get played often and now with jack and the American anthem and how long it was last played it must feel like a dream come true, AT LEAST THEY DIDN’T START HITTING EACH OTHER. I laughed f1 could never embrace the chaos of indy and NASCAR but could even imagine of they did embrace it? But unfortunately the fia are a bunch of babies who freak the fuck out if someone say fuck on the couch.

No because jack is telling the truth it’s too early in the season to decide who would play the fiddle so them asking carlos and jack not to fight would feel disrespectful to both of them, “even if it takes both of us out.” And that when he knew he fucked up, well jack would be locked in pr prison until further notice after the mess lf that interview and no one would notice that he had changed except for nico who would realise it because jack Isn’t being bitchy towards him, oh my goddess they have a special knock wtf??? Those two should stop the foreplay because it’s getting ridiculous like genuinely I think them kissing in front of everyone would be better than what they are doing, “Soon they might start saying I’ll go to Ferrari.” Boys this is NOT a joking matter you are causing heart attack left and right because you want to kiss each other, “Hey, maybe in another life, we’re teammates,” you are!!! A captain and his alternate the best of friends and love to compliment each other for the whole world to listen, “I think you are a bit egocentric sometimes,” hey now dont be so harsh on him he is a poor meow meow who needs someone to put him out of his head and that’s you nico do it for us!!!, I NEED A NICO POV jack is so unreliable my boy wouldn’t notice a break if it hit him in the fucking head; because surely nico isn’t as mysterious as jack think he is, also this fic would end with me murdering jase and I cant even block her because she exists because of you but I loathe her, and remind me how many wins s*inz has this season? 🤭 LEX MY QUEEN I LOVE YOU, personally i root for him because he’s a dick this is so funny because it’s the reason why my rb friend supports max because he is a dick.

I will be answering you in a different ask because this shit is getting too long and I only commented on ONE race like who do you think is the worst yapper me or you?

i love that inertia is permeating the dreamscape. i think you are the second person to say you dreamed in the inertia universe so three cheers to that lmao

real jack IS the center of the universe. somebody is Always talking about him. positively or negatively. he will always be famous. i love cunty jack which is why he is asserting himself so much... i had initially half-intended for it to take a little longer for him to get like that but unfortunately writing him that way is too much fun. my bad. and it does create some fun narratives so i'm not really complaining. just another example of these idiots writing themselves, i have nothing to do with it, i am merely a vessel to put their nonsense into words. i claim no responsibility

i will say the whole fic (all eight billion trillion words of it) will continue to be told from jack's pov so nobody else's pov explicitly... but eventually there will be some more revealing dialogue. i know i have given jack a tendency to not overtly trust things people say to him and therefore it's hard as a reader to figure out what is explicitly true and what isn't, since someone could say something and mean it earnestly but jack will interpret it as a lie or a half-truth or something that's been said for personal gain. yknow. as unreliable narrators do. but in my very subjective very much personal opinion i feel like letting on nico's Actual thoughts would take away... like... we will get there. there's some nonsense in imola/monaco that i accidentally started that i think. YOU'LL SEE. no explicit spoilers. mwahahaha

the more i think about it narratively the more i think imola should get its own chapter and be separated from monaco lmao this is going well. i need to go re-organize my outline

anyways. yeah jack is kind of shit at reading nico. mostly because he wants to assume the worst in him (as a rival) but nico is actually Not 100% evil and a lot of the nice shit he says about jack and his driving he actually means. no he is not Only saying it to get in your head and ruin your game dude maybe he actually thinks you are a good driver!! you fool!! and like yeah obviously nico and jack are either scheming to just swap seats or they're exchanging Important Team Secrets between sessions they're not making out that would be ridiculous

ohhh ferrari-specific pressure. my. beloathed. i will say i do not have plans to make carlos lie to the media or anything he is only low-level evil not like fully evil. he and jack don’t really like each other much and that will continue to be true (best they ever get is Civil with each other) but they do remain in agreement about the team orders stuff, even when they face consequences. which is arguably unrealistic lmao but it’s my fic i do what i want. jack has enough problems as it is he doesn’t need carlos spreading mistruths about him to the media on top of all that

nico is always playing a dangerous game. he’s an idiot. i will say i just wrote a scene (for monaco) that i think is more revealing of nico’s Truth. underneath all of jack’s. Assumptions. monaco is a very important race for development tbh which is part of why i’m considering splitting it from imola like maybe it needs some room yo breathe… also it will probably be long… still on the fence about all that. imola has some more Nico Revealing scenes but of course jack is still being unreliable on top of it. but maybe as a reader you’ll be able to read nico’s mind

love u trevor. that scene is so freakishly long for no reason lmao but shoutout. i didn’t directly or intentionally base trevor’s indy career on anybody i’m just making shit up, so any similarities to a real guy are purely coincidental lol. fun fact it was an impulse decision mid-writing this scene to make z an indy driver i was originally gonna make him a Regular Guy then i thought this would be more fun. and it is. i am having a lot of fun. and i had to make jack tell trevor mostly because i think it’s funny but also i think he would blow up if he kept a secret from Everybody. i will admit i have started two separate dialogue scene where jack tells one of his brothers (one for quinn and one for luke) then went back on both of them and deleted all of it so. trevor is still the only outsider who knows (unless nico told somebody in his corner who knowsssss)

yeah all fair. even if jack would never admit he’s crying for help he totally is like he’s definitely losing his mind and it kind of blows up in his face sometimes like he has no idea how to handle all the pressure, and he hasn’t since he got into f1, but now it’s all amplified and more intense bc he’s closer to the top and he doesn’t know how to handle it himself. imo a lot of the people around him understand he’s stressed but can’t really see how stressed he is, bc in their heads they think he should be more outwardly excited about his performance than he is. like you’re leading, this is your dream, shouldn’t you be happy? maybe, if i wasn’t surrounded by people who all expect things from me. he actually blows up about this soon you’ll see. har har

BIG STEALING FROM MAX MOMENT it was too ridiculous of a quote i couldn’t not steal it. but they’re both crazy. nico is more likely to open his mouth about it though (and he keeps doing this nonsense). jack has a Very Secret praise kink what are you talking about… he is SO slick about it… jk bitch is so conspicuous. Idiot. and they will talk i promise uh eventually. not right now though. nico has his own shit tbh i’ve constructed it in my evil writer brain and despite being More open than jack he is still pretty terrible at a lot of it and maybe also in some similar denial. but he. i don’t want to say too much… eurgh… he is definitely going about some things the wrong way both him and jack are very much flawed but jack loves to see the worst in him and then like make out with him desperately it is what it is

OKAY DAVE DOES HAVE SPEAKING LINES THANK GOD i did give him some more. my bad. Uhm. tbh one of my favorite things to do in au fics is blatantly reference the canon/real life of it all like yeah damn… maybe in another life… we’re teammates… on a hockey team in new jersey usa… i just enjoy. a little easter egg if you will. A Reference. and lex is so real in my headcanon (canon) she is an ao3 warrior i love writing her tweets and i am also murdering jase idc if i created her she is Evil. get out of my house

we fight to the death in the Yapper Wars

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

I'm sorry but I should be able to learn things at a job as slowly as I want to, without a diagnosis or other reason. I fuckimg hate that me being slow to learn the stupid as fuck way the government call centre I was at earlier this year literally told me to my face that "you're a drain on resources bc you can't learn our convoluted way of responding to calls with our labyrinthine knowledge base (with scripting etc, must use 10 billion diff tabs while on call), our notes tool, the other database we use to communicate with the rest of the aged care system and our text tooland us picking people for you to sit with to assess the way you take calls and constantly quality assess you bc you're ruining our quality ratings despite being in training where you're NOT supposed to be quality assessed until about the 6th week) mean that's you're draining our resources and wasting our time bc you dont know how to learn quickly enough to do it all on your own. so we believe you have something wrong with you, or we'll just fire you/you can leave"

like I shouldn't have to provide a diagnosis or reason for learning slowly??? WHY does EVERYTHING have to be learnt so efficiently and quickly and at the drop of a hat??? like i get that it's the nature of the shitty jobs that hiring managers think i'm qualified for, despite having so many quals and like a years experience in customer service. but every other job i apply to shouldn't have the expectation that i learn things instantly??? so fucking what if it takes me like 3 to 6 months to learn something fully??? fuck you. fuck the idea of employees needing to be uber efficient, productive, fast/quick in EVERYTHING they do..... and if they don't pick something up INSTANTLY they're then a "dRaIn On ReSoUrCeS" or a 'tHreAt To PrOdUctIvItY aNd CoMpAnY pErFoRmAnCe" etc etc.

[artemisiafem]

i honestly dont get how people can interact with TIMs and not peak. even online when i was super immersed in the community id reblog the cursory posts (rb if ur blog is a safe space for tr*ns w*men!!! etc) but found a lot of their behaviour to be self-centred - and this was when tumblr was still the TIF website and youd hardly see TIM's posts, at least compared to how much you do now. things about how actually, transmisogyny was the worst form of oppression, and how trans men constantly needed to think about how privileged they were compared to trans women. but i suppressed this. i put it down to people online being annoying. i figured online theyd be a lot easier to be around and id befriend them in the name of solidarity.

then i got to university. the first TIM i met set off alarm bells in my mind almost immediately. id gotten past my anti-feminist stage of my early teens and was already critical of liberal feminism as well, firmly identifying as a marxist feminist. the first time i met the TIM he talked about how estrogen made him dumber and a worse driver. he constantly talked over everyone else and was obsessed with being the centre of the conversation. he constantly asked for validation and was very obviously mentally ill. he pressured us into hanging out with him. well, i had some sympathy for him still. i figured he was just annoying. but his comments about women lingered in my mind. i didn't like that i felt like i had to force a laugh or else be called transphobic.

the next TIM i met was a university lecturer, actually. a decent lecturer, but i did some digging. he was pretty openly a fetishist who wore womens clothing as a "social experiment," and decided to keep wearing it because it was more sensual than men's clothing. huh, i thought. thats weird.

then there was this guy in my group of friends. he'd constantly say stuff that made everyone uncomfortable, fetishising people's races, and making weird comments about how they'd be good wives, or how much he wanted to fuck them, he'd go on about how he was scared of turning into an incel, and he was obsessed with these girls from his high school who he called bitches and mocked in a high pitch voice, hitting the word with enough violence that i realised it really was a slur. he talked about how much he hated boobs (despite being bisexual, apparently) and how much he loved cock whenever any of us spoke about women's genitalia. he said weird things about my family unprompted. then he came out as a transgender woman after buying a maid dress online, and something in me clicked. i went online. i realised this was the norm, not a bunch of exceptions.

i really hope every TIF and libfem who havent peaked yet will peak soon. hanging around TIMs is honestly so infuriating.

[wrongsofpower]

My rings of power midpoint review:

Initially I liked it, the sets and visuals were good and there was some potential, but 4 episodes in I don't even know what's going on. Why is nothing clear? It feels like everything is just a hint and a mystery so that people will speculate on social media. It is a story that was written years ago so we are supposed to know what happens but the timeline has been so screwed up that none of it makes sense. I referred to Tolkien and all the numenor stuff is such a mess. Al pharazon was king in SA3000+ and this is set in the beginning of the second age so why is he there? Miriel was around the same time, isildur shouldn't be there for ages and don't get me started on galadriel's whole thing. We know that sauron is around so why not just establish the character instead of trying to trick people into speculating who he could be?

The writing is shocking, the acting is possibly worse. Why not get some classic actors in there? Where exactly did the biggest TV show budget of all time get spent?? Why don't the elves seem in any way ethereal?!

They claimed they weren't making a TV show but a 'new viewing experience', if they actually wanted to do that why not create a 8 hour film perfectly choreographed and then chop it up into episodes. It's already slow so do it properly and let it build. They have thrown every character and storyline at the wall and rushed it all so much that you don't care about what happens or understand how it all links. It is literally a worse made and written version of game of thrones in every aspect, the title sequence is boring and there is no action, just poor dialogue.

Tolkien had some incredible values woven into his work and such unique and high level themes, and none of them are apparent. Oh, arondir said a few words to a tree before chopping it down, theyre referencing Tolkiens respect for nature! Great, why not actually centre the show around the themes of the books instead of chuck one reference in and then job done. It's like no one making this actually thought about what they should be bringing to the table. Elves are beautiful and wise and beyond any perfection we could imagine, but let's just put some ears on a bloke and say he's an elf. Let's make galadriel, one of the most wise and respected beings in middle earth, hateful and wreckless and tactless and lets give her the most thirsty wig imaginable. Her hair is literally one of the greatest beauties of middle earth but we dont need to worry about that detail. Uuuggghhhh.

Every aspect is like that; just a total squandering of potential. Galadriel is known for being tall, so why is halbrand taller than her? Please god directors just put her on a box or something, please just think for a second about the details!!! Make the characters do cool stuff, give us some actual lore that we have been waiting years to see.

Oh man and the harfoots and their Irish accents. Please hire some Irish actors. Why are they all Irish anyway? Do they start off primitive and Irish and then as they become civilised they turn west country? They are all ethnically different, a mix of white, black, asian etc etc but they all speak with the same accent? Make it make sense Amazon.

I could go on for days but who has the time. I'm bored, disappointed and can't get that fucking image of galadriel on the horse out of my brain.

[pjisskullourful]

For some reason I feel really safe with you???? Even tho we don't talk??? so yeah I'm coming here to rant for a bit even tho its not really the vibe of your blog so I'm sorry for that. Ok so I'm bi and proud now including to my family, and I have a girlfiend of almost 2 years that was my best friend for about 4 years before that, my family knows and loves her. Well... my mom is sort of a dick and decided that she hates my gf now that I came out and also to just discredit my relationship and my sexuality saying that I dont know what I'm feeling and all that and like... I know its none of her business, this reaction is actually a lot better than what I expected from her and I know she is just a dick in general (my quarantine realization was finally understanding that no I'm not dramatic, I just have a emotionally abusive mom) but damn it fucking hurts bc I love this girl so much,she has saved me from myself so many times, she can make me smile even through my darkest times and my mom gets all mad just at me TEXTING her. For some reason I was chill with her glossing over my sexuality bc well, I already expected that and worse from her homophobic ass, but her being dismissive and disrespectful of the only long term relationship I've ever had just bursts so fucking much????? I don't know why I'm bothering you with this I just needed to put my feelings out somewhere and for some reason I felt comfortable doing it here.

hey you are not bothering me! i am very much offended & outraged on your behalf. i hope that you feel empowered in the realisation that you are not being dramatic in response to your situation. all of your feelings are so fucking valid & i want you to know that, 100%. having an emotionally abusive parent is really shitty but it does not have to define you or rule over your life- 1 day those chains will break & it will become someting you can put in your rearview mirror, its part of your past but it doesnt have to be your future.

i am very happy that you have a gf you can lean on in times like this. almost 2 years is such a significant amount of time (congrats to both of you!!!). its clearly not a phase- this relationship is a beautiful living & breathing creation all on its own & the best part is- you & your gf do not need any outside sources to validate/cultivate it for you, it is yours & yours alone, you dont have to ask for anyone elses permission, there are only 2 people in your relationship & so long as youre on the same page, everything else should work itself out.

having someone that can be there for you & save you from yourself is literally the most valuable thing in this whole entire world. having someone that cares enough to be there in the darkness, it is literally the most significant & beautiful thing & my heart just overflows to know that you have that.

stay centred with your gf, stay fixed on the relationship that does nourish you.

its really shitty that as queer people we literally anticipate homophobia as a default-- but theres a silver lining & that is that we all get each other! the gay experience is unfortunately a whole lot of trauma, but on the same side of that coin, its fortunate cos we can look at each other & just know: hey yeah you've seen someof the same shit as me, im safe with you

pls know that your relationship is nothing to be glossed over or dismissed or diminished in any shape or form. what you have with your gf is beautiful, you 2 have found in oneanother the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow & the rainbow is gay & its bright & its beautiful & guess what- the pot of gold is even more beautiful & you deserve it!

i guess my only advice is that gay is defined within each person & you dont need your mother to approve of your own definition of your gayness, it can exist indepedent. it will get easier. the 1st time i came out to my mum she laughed, the 2nd time i did (both times as bi) she said ‘you might find you’re 1 of those people who likes 1 or the other’ & being invalidated like that (clearly in no way comparable to your current bullshit state) itkinda screwed with my head. but i live independently now & i have people who understand my position & respect my journey & never question my identifiers. so just know that there are people out there who will not only accept you for your bisexuality but they’ll fucking love you for it & they will never question it or make you feel lesser than for it. there is a community here & you never have to feel alone

[lonelyheartsmotel]

fic writer tag game✨

thank you for the tag, @nocompromise-noregrets​!!

how many works do you have on AO3? 15!

what’s your total AO3 word count? 98,645

how many fandoms have you written for and what are they? 

these are the fandoms listed on ao3 - not counting the different hobbit tags, it’s 10, but some of them aren’t really the fandom i’m writing for. for example the taylor swift ones are all album inspiration for lotr/th fics, and the ari & dante was a fusion fic where i wrote a supernatural fic where the story and setting were inspired by ari & dante.

what are your top 5 fics by kudos? in descending order: New Perspectives on the Origins of Paranormal Experiences (trobed ghostfic),  Workshop in Serial Publishing and Office Romances (trobed christmas office romance),  the road not taken / tell me i've got it wrong somehow (bagginshield modern au inspired by evermore),  Contemporary Analyses of Speculative Fiction (trobed space au where abed is a librarian outside of time and troy grows and harvests stories), and  a compulsion to come back (trobed pirate au).

do you respond to comments, why or why not? i respond to most if not all! i’m an attention whore and i always love getting comments thats why

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? nothing i’ve written and actually take seriously has an angsty ending, but i have an angsty pwp from my high school days that doesn’t end happily -  storm and stress, a queen of the tearling fic lmao :bota:

do you write crossovers? literally all of my fics are AUs and a lot of them are fusions that take place in another media property’s universe! but i’ve never written a crossover where characters in one universe go to another fictional universe and interact with the characters/story/setting there.

have you ever received hate on a fic? no...i don’t think my fics are read by a large enough audience to get hate ajsdfklajsdflkdjs i’ve been lucky so far.

do you write smut? if so what kind? yeah, but not much ahaha i wrote more of it in high school and then did not write any until 2020 when i unexpectedly wrote it into the road not taken / tell me i've got it wrong somehow. and i have another fic with barduil smut in my wips but i dont even know if thats ever gonna see light of day lmao

have you ever had a fic stolen? not to my knowledge..

have you ever had a fic translated? nope!

have you ever co-written a fic before? me and my wife @nadir-barnes​ are writing a big trobed project (it’s [redacted]) :)

what’s your all time favorite ship? i can’t pick one of anything let alone a ship asldfj;alsdjg im sorry babes they’re all special to me

what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? great tenors of the past (barduil high school au). i already have some of the ending written and i know how it’s ending but it’s the Getting There :facedown:

what are your writing strengths? most people say my visual description which i really appreciate! but due to my personal philosophy i am trying to branch out of that and engage a sensory writing experience that isn’t so vision-centred and not only touches other senses but also transcends the taxonomification of the five senses if that makes sense god sorry that was so pretentious i hate myself

what are your writing weaknesses? writing ahahaha . ok im sorry that sounded like a joke but like writing is hard Bros. also dialogue and character voices.

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? i love it! fuck english

what was the first fandom you wrote for? idk probably harry potter or artemis fowl or merlin

what’s your favorite fic you’ve written? hmm that’s a hard question but i’m pretty fond of Contemporary Analyses of Speculative Fiction and i have a soft spot for a feast of starlight (barduil college au).

tagging with no pressure: @butterednoodlesjules @slutabed @imaginedmelody

[sanstropfremir]

second part of that long ask from ur swf anon :)

after the main dancer was chosen for each class, they would complete the choreo and decide formations for their performances. one of the benefits of the main dancer was that they were always center. they also had the benefit of wearing more embellished clothing to stand out (most noticeable in x class, where rian the main dancer was wearing orange while everyone else was wearing green). here is the full list (mnet truly has the WORST camera angles, so i only included the full cam ver of the performances):

1. assistant class: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF2evLz98h4&ab_channel=MnetTV

2. leader class: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srjJzRVVmxc&ab_channel=CHANNIECHANNEL

the judges shared that even though no:ze was the main dancer/in the center/had the most shiny outfit, they didn't really see her. all the other dancers, in their opinion, stood out and overpowered her.

3. sub class: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mY_3E7W8v30&ab_channel=CHANNIECHANNEL

4. x class (i'm not sure what this class was called): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC-_8fbn_s4&ab_channel=Whatthejess

judges shared that lip j was the stand out of this class. she's the girl on the far left at 0:36. (it was originally her choreo but rian was chosen as the main dancer so that's why she is credited.)

*i only included comments that were stand outs.

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i'm not sure how much creative input the main dancers were given regarding stage design... they didn't show it in the episode so i'm assuming that mnet just told them to show up and perform (because like, the rainbow thing they shot at the end of the leader's performance seemed so random? it didn't match what they were doing). after each performance, the main dancers from each class were asked to pick someone who they thought was the worst dancer. in doing so, the person chosen would lose points for their crew.

judges also chose an mvp crew they thought were the best. prowdmon (monika + lip j + others [sorry i don't know their names. the show really only focuses on these two]) was selected and this gave them the advantage of choosing which crews went against each other in ep4. so, it wasn't a random lottery draw! in the episode, they only showed the part where prowdmon chose to go against wayb (context: no:ze, the main dancer from the leader class, chose monika as the worst dancer. and this made her mad so she was like we're going against wayb - no:ze's crew). i'm not sure why they didn't show how the other crews were paired up. because ya, coca n butter + hook is definitely an interesting match.

also like, wayb was eliminated from the show after ep4's mission.

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and it seems like from here on out, there will be a mission each episode to determine who will be eliminated. i'm honestly not too sure. for their next mission, they're doing a mega crew mission and mnet doesn't really explain it; but it seems like each crew is doing a performance on a larger scale (with more members added to their crew). also, like mnet is ass and doesn't upload all the performances onto their channel..... they only upload the ones that were the most popular/had the biggest public reaction which is why i had a hard time finding the clips for the classes mission. hopefully they do from here on out.

another v long post. thank u again for reading and sharing ur thoughts! always love hearing them. (also, pls let me know if i'm oversharing. u mentioned not caring for the competitive nature and drama so i'm not sure if i was adding too much. there really isn't drama imo. mnet tries to do their best to edit and make it seem that way but when u watch the show, the girls truly root for each other and are friends.)

mnet truly has the worst camera angles i hate them so much. also why are they still streaming on a goddamn potato. the quality is SO bad i can barely see anything!! there's a lot of me complaining in this one i'm sorry in advance.

1. assistant class

i have to assume that whoever they chose as the main dancer is the one that stays in centre because i cannot tell from the clothing at all. i don't think she was a standout performer here, but also the camera and the fire effects are WAY too wild to actually get a good grasp on who even was the standout. i also have to assume that the dancers have no say in the design because design is not a big part of street dance and this kind of chaos screams m 'too-much-money-dont-know-how-to-use-it' net. they built this massive set, barely used it, and didn't leave enough room for the proper formation spacing!! ugh. i hope the judges actually got to see a locked off version of this without all that fire in front of the camera because if i were them i would be squinting down the end of my glasses like a grandma at the screen. that's what i was doing anyways but still.

2. leader class

i have to agree, i don't think noze stood out as the main dancer here. and geniunely i cannot tell that they embellished her costume more. like damn, that stylist took a masterclass in subtlety, because i was easily paying more attention to whoever was wearing those massive thigh high cutout garter stockings and woven bodysuit combo. i am assuming that the point of these challenges was probably to be noticed the most so that they can score points and pick who they went up against for the elimination round? i'm not entirely clear but my point remains; ngl i don't really like this method of creating performance because it means that no one is there to create a performance, yanno? troupe/group choreo like this thrives on teamwork to actually make it a good performance. i know it's a pretty classic method of weeding out people for auditions and stuff like that but personally i find it a wholly uncompelling viewing experience, especially when it's a fully produced stage like this. i know everyone very likely gets along behind the scenes but the incohesion of intent is very obvious. also what's up with the assistant class getting a massive set and the leaders getting a bunch of cars and some smoke pyrotechnics? i mean, i am glad they filmed it during the day, but i am confused by the disparity.

3. sub class

i wish i could describe how poorly mnet shot this. it's not a fucking mama stage, it's a dance stage!! we need to see the choreo properly!!!! and together!!! obviously i don't care about stitching together different takes for the final edit but just...not having a continuity at all in the choreo is a bit jarring. again, i am also not sure how one is supposed to evaluate how well these dancers did, because i can barely see what people are doing. or who the main dancers are. i know i'm railing a lot on mnet here but i can't give an accurate reading of the dancers because legitimately it is so hard to tell what's going on. if they want to bill this as a legitimate dance show, why are they shooting it like a kpop performance? the camerawork for kpop serves a specific function: to add to the visual spectacle and to highlight the idols' faces. you don't need either of those things for shoot choreography, so why do we keep getting closeups of dancers' faces? not that these dance videos aren't spectacle-y or fun, because they very much are, but they really suck at their one primary function, which is displaying the choreo.

4. x class

this is definitely the one where the camera work is the closest to what it should be, but then they go and fuck it up by adding rain! just the groundwater would have been fine, but noooo they had to add the extra rain so there would be extra water drops on the lens!! this is my favourite choreo of all four of these, i think there's the most cohesion and (excluding the rain) it's got a good mix of spectacle with the water and the blacklight and the right camera angles to show the choreo mostly well. i still don't understand why they cut in those sections that don't fit with the rest of the flow though. why. you could have one-taked this and it would have looked dope as fuck. i agree that lip j stands out the most, obviously it's her choreo so it's the best suited to her character and abilities.

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if it wasn't a random lottery draw they should at least have the courtesy of showing people why who picked who!! that's the most interesting part! and i'm not that surprised about wayb being eliminated, prowdmon really stomped them into the ground with that revenge energy. i'm interested in this larger scale performances concept, because i'm not really sure what that looks like in this particular context. if they do end up on youtube i will review them! and you're not oversharing at all, the context is fine! i don't mind reading it as information, i just don't like actually watching it with my own eyes. i can't watch that kind of thing in reality tv because it makes me want to sit everyone down like a kindergarden teacher and go "ok, now why are we all yelling?". too many years of tense rehearsal conflict negotiation and i just want to whack everyone upside the head. it's not very cathartic for me lmao. i have no doubt that everyone is friends because dance scenes are small and i'm sure they've all worked together lots, but even just the editing sets off my fight or fight reflexes.