#thankyou for sharingsincerely

[pjisskullourful]

For some reason I feel really safe with you???? Even tho we don't talk??? so yeah I'm coming here to rant for a bit even tho its not really the vibe of your blog so I'm sorry for that. Ok so I'm bi and proud now including to my family, and I have a girlfiend of almost 2 years that was my best friend for about 4 years before that, my family knows and loves her. Well... my mom is sort of a dick and decided that she hates my gf now that I came out and also to just discredit my relationship and my sexuality saying that I dont know what I'm feeling and all that and like... I know its none of her business, this reaction is actually a lot better than what I expected from her and I know she is just a dick in general (my quarantine realization was finally understanding that no I'm not dramatic, I just have a emotionally abusive mom) but damn it fucking hurts bc I love this girl so much,she has saved me from myself so many times, she can make me smile even through my darkest times and my mom gets all mad just at me TEXTING her. For some reason I was chill with her glossing over my sexuality bc well, I already expected that and worse from her homophobic ass, but her being dismissive and disrespectful of the only long term relationship I've ever had just bursts so fucking much????? I don't know why I'm bothering you with this I just needed to put my feelings out somewhere and for some reason I felt comfortable doing it here.

hey you are not bothering me! i am very much offended & outraged on your behalf. i hope that you feel empowered in the realisation that you are not being dramatic in response to your situation. all of your feelings are so fucking valid & i want you to know that, 100%. having an emotionally abusive parent is really shitty but it does not have to define you or rule over your life- 1 day those chains will break & it will become someting you can put in your rearview mirror, its part of your past but it doesnt have to be your future.

i am very happy that you have a gf you can lean on in times like this. almost 2 years is such a significant amount of time (congrats to both of you!!!). its clearly not a phase- this relationship is a beautiful living & breathing creation all on its own & the best part is- you & your gf do not need any outside sources to validate/cultivate it for you, it is yours & yours alone, you dont have to ask for anyone elses permission, there are only 2 people in your relationship & so long as youre on the same page, everything else should work itself out.

having someone that can be there for you & save you from yourself is literally the most valuable thing in this whole entire world. having someone that cares enough to be there in the darkness, it is literally the most significant & beautiful thing & my heart just overflows to know that you have that.

stay centred with your gf, stay fixed on the relationship that does nourish you.

its really shitty that as queer people we literally anticipate homophobia as a default-- but theres a silver lining & that is that we all get each other! the gay experience is unfortunately a whole lot of trauma, but on the same side of that coin, its fortunate cos we can look at each other & just know: hey yeah you've seen someof the same shit as me, im safe with you

pls know that your relationship is nothing to be glossed over or dismissed or diminished in any shape or form. what you have with your gf is beautiful, you 2 have found in oneanother the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow & the rainbow is gay & its bright & its beautiful & guess what- the pot of gold is even more beautiful & you deserve it!

i guess my only advice is that gay is defined within each person & you dont need your mother to approve of your own definition of your gayness, it can exist indepedent. it will get easier. the 1st time i came out to my mum she laughed, the 2nd time i did (both times as bi) she said ‘you might find you’re 1 of those people who likes 1 or the other’ & being invalidated like that (clearly in no way comparable to your current bullshit state) itkinda screwed with my head. but i live independently now & i have people who understand my position & respect my journey & never question my identifiers. so just know that there are people out there who will not only accept you for your bisexuality but they’ll fucking love you for it & they will never question it or make you feel lesser than for it. there is a community here & you never have to feel alone