#like 90% of the family is not fucking getting it cause they’re not gonna be allowed to come visit us

[raeathnos]

.

[hihhasotherfixations]

John Price headcanons sfw & nsfw P2

Part 1

Here’s some more of my headcanons for this man. They’re a but all over the place, apologies. But enjoy :3

Sfw:

While he himself is not religious, he was brought up in a Christian family.

Speaking of his family, he unfortunately doesn’t have a very big one. He has a father he barely talks to and older sister. His mother passed away from cancer when he was still a lieutenant and because of it, when he got promoted to captain there was no one around - his sister was caught up and stuck with work. It was not a good time for him. Instead of celebrating his accomplishment, he was alone and stricken with memories and grief.

His dad was incredibly strict growing up and Price’s relationship with him is still very strained to this day because of it.

His late mother was very adamant on not swearing and while he tries to uphold that, he’s also been in the military for 19 years. And sometimes (very often) the danger or his men become too much. This has caused him to adopt swearing even though he tries so hard not to. One of his most used swear words however is ‘jesus- fuck’ as it’s become almost a habit to swear with jesus christ, though he always catches himself last moment and tries to divert from swearing with the religious man’s name and says fuck instead.

Price can’t ride a bike. And I don’t mean a motorcycle, he’s fine with those - really good even. But an actual bike? Man can’t do it. Do I say this purely because I find the thought/image of Price on a bicycle cursed? Yes, yes I do.

Price finds it hard to say ‘no’ to the 141 when it comes to small and inconsequential things. Due to this, there was a time where for over a month, the 141 walked into his office, asked him to doodle a cat and then left without a word. And yet he did so every time, confused but content enough whenever they waddled off with their doodle. What he didn’t expect, was to show up on Christmas morning to find a blanket strewn over the couch in the rec room - it’s print being littered with every small cat he had doodled. It is now one of his favourite things.

Not a headcanon but I wanted to let the world know: Price has a tiny birthmark on his nose and it is the most adorable thing in the world. (Thankfully I’m seeing more people bringing attention to it >:3) Because of it, if you repeatedly kiss his nose for that reason? To kiss the birthmark? He’s gonna get really flustered really quickly. Not much will bring this man to a stop mid order-giving, but that would shut him up real quick ;3

He does not like singing but you can often catch him humming when doing something such as cooking or cleaning. He doesn’t really realise he’s doing it so don’t point it out! Otherwise he’s gonna be conscious of it and you won’t hear it for a month or two.

Terrible at golf. Gaz once took him golfing cause he thought that’s something Price enjoyed/was good at. It in fact turned into Price getting frustrated and nearly obliterating the golfbal with how hard he hit it. He gave up after that.

This is more logistics that I keep for myself but Price was in the British army for 4 years before he moved to enlist in the SAS.

Loves, loves, loves playing with your hair if you let him. Sitting/cuddling on the couch? His fingers are touching it in some way. Kissing? His hand is keeping your head near his via the back of your neck and his thumb will be rubbing back and forth over the hair there.

Pretty sure 90% of people share this headcanon but good LORD his sneezes. They are loud and you can hear him from across the field. He then proceeds to shrug it off like they’re nothing.

Man has the sharpest and loudest finger whistle and 100% uses it on his men to get their attention. Both the 141 and the soldiers he reigns over as captain. It’s a noise ingrained into every single person who has served with him and will get them to shoot straight and pay attention instantly.

This is a little more niche. But this man sucks at almost every game except for survival games. FPS? Absolute shit, will get maybe one bullet to hit before dying. Horror? While he doesn’t jump at the jump scares, if he is being chased by a monster or a killer, you can almost guarantee he will die. But survival games?? Give him the forest (kinda) or Subnautica to play and this man will absolutely tear it up. You can leave him for an hour or two and when you come back he’ll have crafted a base and be halfway through the game.

This includes Minecraft. Kinda. Man is an absolute god at building, but do not send him into the mines. You will see a message pop up of him falling into lava or dying by mobs every 5 minutes.

Basically any game where he’s not in constant danger, he’s fine.

Avid peanut butter enjoyer.

If Price were to ever have children, he would try very hard to give them the childhood he never had. He would not deny those kids of anything. They want to go outside in the rain to play in the mud? Alright, let him get the raincoats, he’ll wash the dirty, muddy clothes later (he is 100% out there with his kids, splashing them or letting them push him into puddles).

In the same vein, he would try very hard to separate work and life. Sure he might need to get stern sometimes and tell the rambunctious rascals off, but he tries very hard to do so in his dad voice, not in his captain voice. It would still happen sometimes though and he’d feel absolutely awful. Especially if he makes his kids cry because of it.

One of his favourite songs is Escape by Rupert Holmes (The piña colada song). You can oftentimes hear it and songs like that softly playing in his office while he’s doing paperwork.

Not really a headcanon and don’t ask me why, but this donkey is giving me Price vibes: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJV6o5cB/

While he smokes cigars, he’s not at all a chain smoker. Usually saves them for moments where he feels he earns them (after a mission, completing paperwork he really didn’t want to do etc), high stress, or when he’s really craving one.

In a similar topic, he hates cigarettes. Tried one when he was younger, hated it and instead unfortunately took over the cigar habit from his father (when said man was home). Because of this however, he can’t stand to smoke with Laswell. She tries sometimes - cause while she’s trying to quit, it’s hard - but Price only allows it if she’s upwind from him, blowing her smoke away from him.

He stubs his toe SO often. Don’t get me wrong, when out on the field, every step is calculated and precise and you will never in your life see him slip up. It’s a different matter entirely when he’s on leave or just around base though. His body doesn’t need to be on edge 24/7 anymore. Which means that if you’ve served under him, you’ve heard him curse out a door for daring to stand open in the way it did. When he’s at home with you? Double so. He tends to walk around without shoes at home - logically so. Which means his poor toes meet cupboards, table/chair legs and doors a bit too often. He’ll swear less when at home tho, more… take-a-deep-breath-to-control-the-rage kind of reaction.

For the love of god, call him pretty. It’s just- it does something with him. He’s heard handsome, rugged, manly, weathered, etc. And don’t get me wrong, if you call him any of those? Pride bursts through his chest and he’ll make sure to repay you in kind. But if it’s just you and him on the couch, leaned into each other, the tv softly playing? Just a quiet moment? And you call him pretty? It heals something in him.

Has once overheard soldiers insulting/mocking his facial hair and definitely made them shit themselves when he appeared behind them with his full 6”2 (188cm) buffed up captain stance - arms crossed with the most vicious glare you can even imagine. Also definitely made them run until they dropped and then do it again or gave them toilet duty for a month. It also definitely wasn’t only one time he overheard someone.

He’s an absolute history buff. At one point he seriously considered to become a history teacher but at that point he was too far into his military career. He didn’t feel like he could leave his men. It also felt like he’d have wasted years of his life and going back to school wasn’t really on his ‘want to do’ list at that age. So instead he opted he’d be of better use to the world right where he was.

If you allow him to infodump however? He will absolutely tell you the most random facts. Disturbing ones too. He just wants to tell you cool facts, its a way of showing love :)

Quality time often consists of him sitting beside you while you do whatever. He’s either reading a book or doing a puzzle, if he can he will have one hand on your thigh, absentmindedly rubbing it while his mind is elsewhere (its a bit hard when he does puzzles with one hand, but he makes it work)

In the vein of those puzzles, he absolutely LOVES them. If you come home with a newspaper saying “I got this for you!” and show him the not-yet-made puzzle, he will absolutely fall a little bit more in love with you every time. That’s his form of you coming home with roses for him.

Ridiculously good at crosswords. Very rarely has to look up an answer. He also tends to ask you out loud. Not per se to actually ask you though. It’s more of a way of thinking out loud. “What’s a six letter word for a cloud formation in space? …Nebula, thank you.” And then just moves on without you ever having said a word, not even realising he does it.

He always feels guilty when leaving you for long periods of time due to work. Tries very hard to make up for it, even if you assure him he doesn’t have to.

He does things while on missions that he is not proud of. He does not tell you any of the more inhumane things he’s done because he’s terrified it’ll change your perception of him.

These moments haunt his every moment however. Sleeping and awake. You are his only escape.

He is not proud of a lot of things. But the 141 is one of them.

Kyle is one of the most prominent ones. From when he found him in Piccadilly to the elite soldier he is today, Price is incredibly proud of who he’s become. Though he’s also very worried for the danger he’s put the younger man in by dragging him into this world.

Price also makes sure to look after Ghost. Strangely enough, he feels almost responsible for what happened to Ghost despite him having nothing to do with it. Because of it however, he feels very protective over the man and tries to treat him the best he can.

Soap is someone who he sees a lot of himself in. So he always tries to push the man to be better than he was. Price sees the potential Soap has in furthering his military career and if the moment came to it, he’d recommend the man for a promotion in a heartbeat. Soap is someone he always trusts in.

He has a lot of scars on his body from his years of service. If he feels you run your fingers over the scar and you ask him about them, he’s okay with telling you about how he got it. Even if he spares the details sometimes.

Lastly, if Laswell and her wife ever got a child, Price would 100% be the favourite uncle and regular babysitter whenever he’s off deployment.

That’s it for the regular headcanons again :3 Please respect the banner and onto depravity.

Nsfw:

Whenever he’s making out with you, he LOVES having a hand on your throat. Not to squeeze. Never to squeeze. He does not like the thought of choking you at all, brings bad memories. But he is addicted to the thrum of your heartbeat underneath his fingertips. The submission that comes with it as you let him hold a place so vulnerable while he attacks your lips.

Doesn’t have to be during sex either. You two can be cuddling on the couch and he’ll gently pull you in by your neck or throat and press his lips into yours. Or push you up against the wall by it when you greet him as he comes home. Just let him hold you and move you like that.

Fingerprint bruises. Oh my god he properly leaves them whenever you two are having an especially… passionate night.

Don’t get him wrong though! He’ll kiss the bruises and apologise after, even if seeing them sends a flutter down his spine. Loves walking up to you and slotting his fingers right over the marks, careful and appreciative as his hands fill up the spots.

Man loves biting and nipping any place of you he can reach. Have I mentioned how much he loves leaving his marks on you? Hickeys and imprints of his teeth e v e r y w h e r e. (Won’t go above the collar if you don’t want him to)

Depending on how okay you are with it, he’ll definitely bite hard. He’s holding you in a mating press, kissing you to hell and back and when his hips start to stutter, when that telltale spark begins to come up, he’ll divert to where your neck meets your shoulder and bite while fucking the last few strokes into you, muffling his groans and noises of pleasure into your skin.

He has once broken skin while doing it, he felt absolutely awful after it. Immediately after coming down from his high and realising what he did, he went to go get the med kit from the bathroom. Naked and sweaty, he waddled away and back, concern and guilt as he disinfected the wound and dressed it, pressing a million apologies to you.

While it is rare to get him to actually fully give the reins to you and be submissive, when he does, call him by his honorifics still. Praise him with them. “You’re doing so good for me, captain” , “Are you feeling good, sir?” Whisper things like that in his ear and he’ll be whining and desperate for you like never before.

Man has a raging breeding kink. Will absolutely fill you up as many times if he can. Just the sight of seeing his cum leaking out of you instantly gets him going for a second round. The possessive side of him comes out thanks to the thought of you walking around with a piece of him inside you.

I don’t know if I mentioned it in p1 of this but he’s an absolute aftercare KING. Literally won’t want you to do anything. He’s cleaning you up with a towel first and foremost, gentle and careful - especially if he was a little rougher that day. After that, if you’ll let him, he’ll run a bath or shower for you and gently wash you himself. Kisses, cuddles and clean sheets are all in his service.

[watarfallar]

I'm on a roll with these!

Impulse: I wouldn’t wish that upon my worse enemy! Impulse: Unless of course. . We’re talking about my enemy, Gem. Fuck you Gem, you know what you did!

Joel: I just found out from Grian today that when Pearl died and the service did the 21-gun salute at their funeral, Gem said, “They should aim at the coffin to be sure.”

Jimmy: If I had a face like yours, I'd put it on a wall and throw a brick at it. Scar: If I had a face like YOURS, I'd put it on a brick and throw a wall at it.

Gem: You ever get so tired that you start seeing spiders? Etho: Me after I take 17 Benadryl and start seeing the hat man. Gem: THE WHO? Etho: Oh is this not a safe space suddenly?

Jimmy: Cause your pretty and your smart, and your ignoring me so your obviously my type. Tango, who was distracted: I'm sorry- what were you saying? Jimmy: Perfect.

Tango: Self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath or putting on a lot of make up if you like that, or taking a nice warm nap and stuff like that basically. Ren: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you. self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists. self care is the fear in your enemies eyes. Gem: Self care is stealing someones birthday cake just to eat the frosting. Ren: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

Scar: You know what bothers me? Bats. Why can bats fly? Martyn: Not again! Scar: No. Seriously, who gave them the right? They're mammals! Mammals walk on land, no exceptions. Pearl: Just wait until you hear about whales. Scar: What now?

Martyn, texting Jimmy: Please don't text me for the next hour, I'm going to be on the treadmill. Jimmy: I wasn't planning on texting you. Martyn: What did I just say?

Cleo: When will Ted himself...finally show up to the talk? Impulse: The final boss. Scott: You guys know TEDtalks stands for technology, entertainment, and design talks, right? Cleo: I will not let Ted hide behind these lies any longer

Tango: According to the footage here, you shook the vending machine and when the shake alarm went off, you punched the glass and broke it. Gem: …I was hungry.

Pearl: BigB, get that hidious thing out of the living room, would you? BigB: Tango, Pearl wants you to get out of the house.

Scar: I wanna be a knight! Scott, a knight: What the fuck do you want this shit for? I kill people, all right? Their blood is on my hands! Every night, when I go to sleep, I see their FUCKING faces staring at me! Their families weep, and I FEEL NOTHING! I’M DEAD INSIDE! Scar: Man, I want some of that in my life!

Lizzie: When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Lizzie lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the person who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

Bdubs, holding a gun: If the conspiracies about life being a simulation are true WHOEVERS CONTROLLING MY SIM I JUST WANNA TALK.

Skizz: Dearly Beloved, we are here today to remember Mumbo, taken from us in the prime of life; when they were crushed by a runaway semi, driven by the Incredible Hulk. Mumbo: Aww, you knew my favorite cause of death.

Impulse: The ‘how the fucks’ and 'why are you so dumbs’ don’t matter. All that matters is that I have a new gun.

Bdubs: Grian is off at an appointment, so while they’re gone, I’m going to cut the sleeves off all of my shirts. Gem: Why? Bdubs: They’re like 90% of my impulse control.

Skizz: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.

Joel: ...This is one of those moments where it doesn't really matter what I have to say, isn't it?

Jimmy: What’s the announcement, Lizzie? Lizzie: It’s a lecture. Skizz’s gonna tell us everything they know about sex. Etho: It should be an enjoyable 60 seconds.

[the-tulpar]

Mouthwashing Highschool AU

Disclaimer: This is so self indulgent, also we like the idea of them being a weird friend group, just pretend they're all around the same age. This is an AU so if they’re slightly OOC we dont think it matters, besides they're completely different ages here than in the game so ofc they’ll be different. We didn’t include Swansea (I can only picture him as a dad 😞)

Takes place in the 90s ‘cause why not

Includes: Jimmy, Curly, Anya, and Daisuke

Jimmy(mod) wrote Jimmy and Anya, Curly(mod) wrote Curly, and we collaborated for Daisuke, some tie into others

Pinned post

Group HCs -

They hang out in the music room or school yard depending on the day

Once a week, usually on Saturdays, they will all go out to eat

Curly always pays

They all bully each other(the way friends do)

Jimmy - 

This is 100% me basing this on myself

His stye is definitely grunge or punk leaning

His favorite band is Nirvana

He was majorly surprised Curly wanted to be his friend

People assume he smells like shit but he doesn’t

He isn’t bullied, people just avoid him

There was a rumor he vandalized the teachers lounge

He won’t confirm if it’s true or not

Closeted bisexual

Bass player(casually)

From Florida and hates getting the “omg ur from florida you must have been to disney so many times” 

Has definitely said some weird shit to make people leave him alone

Unfortunately those things he says follow him

Did have a public breakdown ONCE in Sophomore year and for a week people looked at him weird

His family is republican and he isn’t affiliated(Punk beliefs, won’t ever vote, thinks ALL politicians are shit)

Tried to hitchhike to Seattle for Kurt Cobain’s vigil

In a moment of weakness let everyone doodle on a patch he added to his pants

“This was a stupid idea.” “You don’t have to wear it-” “No I’m gonna wear it forever fuck off.”

Curly -

Kandi kid

Isn’t cis but hasn’t realized yet bc he’s a Himbo

Sometimes feels more feminine but thinks it’s just bc he enjoys hanging out with Anya and his little sister

Him and Anya paint each others nails and gossip

Has a growing stuffie collection bc every year for his birthday and other holidays his sister gifts him a new one

Gym bro who plays sports

Accidentally homophobic and transphobic, says smth not realizing the implications and apologies profusely when corrected/called out

Tries his best and will ask questions to better understand

Thinks homophobia is stupid bc kissing a guy can’t feel any different from kissing a girl right???

Besides everyone’s thought someone of the same gender was a little attractive before…right????

In denial 😔

Doodled a mushroom on the patch

Anya - 

Her favorite band is Tears For Fears

Is actually social within her group

She is soft spoken with people outside the group but not outright shy

She usually has a book with her, and keeps one or two in her locker

She was hesitant when Curly added her to the group since she knew Jimmy was in it, because she knew him in middle school

Wants to get into nursing school

Is surprisingly good at math(I say surprisingly cuz math is hard, man)

Had an emo phase for a few months before deciding it’s not for her

She has many emo friends though so she appreciates the style and music

Though the emo we know is obviously different from the 90s (Very)

She’s definitely lesbian imo

She can play piano but doesn’t very often

She does enjoy messing around with the trap set in the music room

Once asked Jimmy if a rumor about him was true and he got a biiiit pressed but it was sorted out

Will defend her close friends with her life 

Ride or die fr

Enjoys making bracelets on occasion, it’s a very casual thing for her

Doodled stars on the patch

Daisuke -

Listens to many different genres and if you ask for his favorite band he’ll just name a ton of songs he likes 

Style is whatever a t-shirt, jeans, and fun patterned shirt over it is (idk not my style TwT)

Is pretty energetic and is usually the one suggesting stuff the group does

Has a few game consoles but loves his game boy

He’ll let any of his friends use/play whatever console they want

Jimmy once convinced him to write smth in sharpie on a bathroom stall

Jimmy thought it was hilarious and Daisuke got so nervous about being caught

He's pan and genderfluid in the way that he just doesn't have a preference for anything, people can see him as whatever they want and gender doesn't determine if hes attracted to someone

Loves making bracelets with Curly and has made some for each member of the group 

All the different colors of the beads make him happy and he always makes the best patterns

Was last to join the group cuz he’s the youngest, but was definitely the most excited

Is constantly hungry throughout the day so he always has snacks on him, like his bag is AT LEAST 1/3 snacks

Has a huuuge sweet tooth so the snacks are usually sugary

Always willing to share with the rest of the group

Doodled flowers on the patch

Imagine this scene tho:

[bubblergoespop]

My Top Sam Quotes

i love me some cowboy ♡ yeehaw and all that

“You’re a werewolf, not a damn tank, what the hell were you thinking?”

“I want you comfortable. What that looks like, you tell me.”

“Oh god, don’t call the 90’s vintage, you’re gonna give me a complex.”

“Don’t you whistle like that at me you smartmouth, this ain’t anything you haven’t seen. I am not blushing. I don’t blush.”

“Mr. Shaw.”

“You’re a big softie under it all too. Boop.”

“You don’t have to keep the armor up tonight. The fighting’s done. You can just rest. I got you, Darlin.”

“You’re my heart, Darlin’.”

“Oh you hush, of course that got my heart speeding up again. Wiseass.”

“Have some popcorn, it’ll soothe you.”

“Matter of fact, yes, I do know how to get food delivered nowadays. Do you know what the inside of a grocery store looks like?”

“Yeah yeah, I’m a mother-hen, what else is new?”

“Don’t worry, if the shock takes you out, I’ll be sure to catch you.”

“You feel like home, Darlin’.”

“It’s a Vamp’s favorite season. Well, my actual favorite season’s Fall, but you get me.”

“That’s for strangers. We can be as mean to family as we damn-well please.”

“How do you wanna do this? You wanna ride your cowb- you little-“

“You feel like sunlight on an easy day. That warmth and that comfort. Gentle and all around.”

“You like that? You gonna be good for me?”

“Hey. Look at me. Please.”

“Yeah, you’re awful put-upon. Your mate’s a heartless old curmudgeon who wants his arm rest.”

“No. No, I’m not falling asleep. Couldn’t be me. I’d never do such a thing.”

“Your vampiric pillow awaits.”

“Hey. Jokes aside. You do make sense, Darlin. Just cause some people don’t wanna put in the work to understand why doesn’t mean you don’t.”

“What the hell do you have against flannel? It’s efficient.”

“Oh I’m sure. My big bad wolf certainly would never get tired after a completely understandably draining day,”

“Tell me how you look so damn good right after waking up. Bullshit. You look heavenly.”

“You know better than me that if you don’t answer that goofball he’s just gonna keep calling.”

“Man’s gotta point. [smack] Ow.”

“Make it two.”

“I’m an equal opportunist shit-stirrer once you make the mistake of getting close to me.”

“You keep that up and I'll buy a walker just so I can beat your ass with it.”

“I didn’t realize those were our names, I thought he was drawing pictures…”

“Who you calling an underdog, pup?”

“Oh, so I’m a flop now?”

“Want some chocolate? It might soothe you.”

“Darlin’ what the hell is an Igglybump?”

“Play nice. I know you can even if you don’t like to.”

“Being so good for me. Wait until I tell ya.”

“So what if I am soft for you? You deserve soft.”

“I am not charming. I’m a moody curmudgeon, and I like it that way, thank you very much.”

“When I’m with you, my brain takes up shop in the wrong head.”

“Keep his name out of your fucking mouth.”

“I’ve got you. Tears aren’t ‘stupid’, Darlin’. They’re human. You don’t have to hold back any part of yourself with me.“

“[punch] That’s for Frederick. [punch] That’s for his Progeny. [punch] And that’s for me.”

“The only thing that makes the two of you worse hellions than you already are is when you put your scheming heads together on something.”

“I’m practically a glorified backpack”

“I want you moving like this in a different position. Mmhmm. How did you put it back in the day? ‘Riding your cowboy’?”

“You’re so damn beautiful. You are.”

“My big bad wolf. I get to say that without getting hit nowadays? My, the times are a-changing.”

“Look. You can call me every version of ‘cowboy’ you want, but you keep ‘duke’ just locked up in that pretty head of yours, you got it?”

“It’s a fancy dick-swinging contest with a side of hors d’oeuvres.”

“Vincent. You’re my family, and I love you, so please don’t take this the wrong way, but four years ago when he was still around, you were just as much of a pain in the ass to be around most of the time.”

“What you and me got is stronger than any of this bullshit the world throws at us. Even if the world’s got a hell of an arm, lately.”

“Brown. My eyes were brown.”

“Where do you want these fangs, baby?”

[spidercookie18]

I've had this idea in my head that Paul uses M&M tubes to keep his joints in! They're perfect, they start out having candy AND they're air tight! If you can make anything out of that for the love of all that lives, you gotta.

Summary: Paul is a fiend, and makes it grandpa Emerson's problem Word Count: 2.5k

Great ask! I love this one a lot, you’re gonna get a crack response, but it’s a good response. Cause I’m smoking a crack pipe full of these fruity little bitches!

So, I’ve been toying with the idea of the boys going to COSTCO; hear me out. Any TLB AU where everyone survives, means Lucy will take the boys in; no if’s and’s or buts about it. She is the best 80’s mom ever, she’s for sure adopting them. Which makes the whole David x Michael thing weird bc they would be…stepbrothers? Whatever, vampire relationships are complicated. She would also have to be feeding like 10 people. Hold on, lets actually count. It’s the boys, that’s 4 + Lucy, Sam, Michael, Grandpa E, another 4, then Star, and Laddie, which is 2 AND maybe Max, and the Frog brothers… depending on how that goes. Anyways, that’s still at LEAST 10 mouths to feed.

So, Lucy, being the mom that she is, would get a COSTCO membership to get all the things that her new, big family would need. Now, you’re probably wondering, “Ari, where the fuck are you going with this?”

WELL

Lucy would get a COSTCO card so she could get these rambunctious fuckers what they need. Max would foot the bill, and everyone would be ‘happy’ about it and shut up forever.  (FYI, Costco in the 90’s looked more like a Home Depot, which I hate).

Lucy notices, IMMEDIATELY that her new sons have some interesting snack choices to say the least.

David is waaay too into eggs, to the point where she doesn’t know if he’s even eating them, or if he’s just hiding them somewhere. Marko goes through wheels of cheese like they’re apples. Dwayne likes… pickled fish and marshmallows. And Paul… well, she’s concerned for all of them, but she’s most concerned for Paul.

He’s quickly becoming her favorite. He always helps with chores, even if he doesn’t want to.  He changes light bulbs for her, even catches and releases the bugs that get in the house for her. Sure, he’s screaming and yelling the whole time it takes him to get the damn bug outside, but it’s the thought that counts. He's a mama’s boy through and through.

Lucy started worrying for him though, the second she noticed he would go through candy so quickly.  And not just go through candy, he would go through the damn candy. Paul could eat a whole box of candy, within a few minutes. When she got trick or treat candy for one Halloween, Paul went through several hundreds of dollars’ worth of candy within a few hours. Specifically, she noticed, he would tear through the mini m&m tubes like nobodys business.

Which, if you asked Paul, he’d say it really was, “nobody’s business.”

She would buy the giant COSTCO boxes that had 24 tubes and he would just walk off with the whole box. After he’d done that three or four times, she brought it up to David.

Lucy: I’m worried that Paul is… going to make himself sick.

David: *Leaning against the kitchen counter* We’ve been worrying about that for a lot longer than you have, he’s just like that.

Lucy: No, I mean, he keeps stealing these… little… *gestures with her hands* tubes of candy and I don’t know what he’s doing with them.

David: Oh, *rubs his chin* well that would be concerning… if it wasn’t Paul.

Lucy: Can you just make sure he’s not eating all that candy, can you boys process sugar fine like that?

David: *shrugs*

Michael: *walks into the kitchen, and grabs something from the fridge*

Lucy: OH, oh, Michael, *waving her hands* tell David about the thing.

Michael: *closes the fridge* Oh, no, not this again. *To David* Is she bothering you with this? *To Lucy, pointing with the soda bottle* Are you bothering him with this?

David: *snorts* This is a real hot button issue, eh?

Lucy: I’m worried about him, is no one else worried about him?

Michael: He’s a weird guy, mom. He’s just like that.

Lucy: But-

Michael: Mom if it’s that big of a deal why don’t you ask him about it?

Lucy: I TRY. But every time I try to ask him about it, he bolts. And, *pointing at Michael and David* with all that damn candy, I might add.

David: *laughing* Yeaah, that sounds like Paul.

Michael: Don’t encourage her.

Lucy: *glares at Michael*

David: Listen Ms. E, I wouldn’t worry about it making him sick. But if it means that much to ya, I’ll talk to him about it.

Lucy: Thank you, David, *pats his back*

David: *already halfway out the room* okay byeeeeeeeeee

What lucy didn’t know, was while, yes, Paul was a fiend for sugar, he was hoarding the m&m tubes for a much more nefarious reason.

Paul was like a pack rat. Step one foot into the cave, and you’d think it was just a mangled mess of shit. But, if you looked closely, you’d notice all the little things hidden away.

Paul had been, for the last several months, eating, emptying, and refilling the plastic, airtight containers with grandpa E’s marijuana. He had been sneakily snatching the sticky green buds in the middle of the night and stashing them away for safe smoking.

Albeit, not as sneaky as he thought. Cause, on more than one occasion, grandpa E had been waiting outside in the garden with the spray hose for Paul. Whenever Paul would slosh into the cave the boys knew he got hosed again, and they’d laugh at his ass.

But, Paul, the ever persistent, learned grandpa E’s habits, and how to better sneak the weed away undetected. He’d crawl on his belly across the roof of the house with a bag slung across his shoulder (think army style, when they make them crawl through the mud; that’s Paul). He would peep his little face over the side of the roof and watch for grandpa in the garden. The first few nights, grandpa E stood outside for a few hours with the hose, waiting for the wild blond.

His persistence paid off, after a few days, grandpa E thought it was safe, and Paul snatched up his goodies. Paul thought he was being sneaky by hovering above the ground and not leaving boot prints; but the next morning, when Lucy, Sam, and Michael were having breakfast and they heard a string of old man cuss words, they knew ‘smokey the bandit’ struck again. Lucy didn’t believe for a second that sweet Paul could steal from her dad, so she chalked it up to her dad smoking too much and being old.

The next night when the boys went to visit for ‘pizza night’ grandpa E railed into Paul. He would not stop ranting and raving about how he was, “going to hog tie his ass,” and, “turn him into the ugliest taxidermyed vampire there ever was.”  Lucy gave the boys some money and sent them to get the pizza to let her dad cool down, but when grandpa E insisted he didn’t want Paul back in the house until he apologized, she told the boys to just go out for pizza.

Marko: Paul, you asshole, just apologize so we can go back.

Paul: If I apologize, then that proves I did it- which I didn’t.

Dwayne: Dude, we all know it was you.

Paul: Hey, he’s getting old, that’s 100% not my problem.

David: You know, if you strip the stalk, that kinda makes it more obvious, dumbass.

Sam: You shoulda heard him this morning,

Michael: Yea, it was pretty bad. I’ve never heard him blow up like that.

David: Really? What happened

Sam: He went crazy! He wouldn’t stop screaming!

Marko: *giggling*

Sam: It’s not funny dude, okay? He said words I’ve never even heard before!

Dwayne: Like what? ‘Dagnabbit?’

David: *snorts*

Michael: *Pulling Paul’s jacket by the sleeve* You know if he catches you, you’re dead.

Paul: I’m already dead, also, I’m so not scared of your ‘pappy’.

Michael: Hey, it was a fair warning.

After that, grandpa E went through with operation: catch that flying asshole. He brewed pots of coffee to stay up all night and traded in his hose for a shotgun. Grandpa E sat outside with a chair and his shotgun across his lap, just waiting for Paul to show.

Paul, the ever persistent, waited over a week for his prize. Lucy watched from the kitchen window, as her dad sat outside and stared at the night sky. Her, and Sam were beginning to worry about his mental state. He’d been forcing himself to stay away for hours, and whenever he did fall asleep, Paul would chuck pebbles at him to see if he’d gone to bed for good. Grandpa E would immediately wake up, startled, and one time he’d rang a shot off into the night. Lucy scolded him, saying what if he’d hit a bird, or one of the boys. And his response was, “good! Those fuckers need to learn to stop stealing my stuff!”

One night, after almost 10 nights, there was an opening.

Paul laid on his back, staring at the night sky, rolling the little grey pebble around between his fingers. He was getting sick of waiting, and if he wasn’t worried about what Lucy thought of him, he would have just gone and taken the whole damn garden already. He stared up at the stars, watching the clouds roll in.

Clouds.

He listened to the water as it began to fall softly onto the roof. The pitter-patter came slowly, then faster, then it came in a downpour.

Grandpa E: LUCY!

Lucy:

Grandpa E: LUUUCYYYY!

Lucy: What dad?

Grandpa E: Lucy! Bring me the umbrella!

Lucy: No Dad!

Grandpa E: WHAT?! But it’s a downpour!

Lucy: If you want the umbrella, you gotta come get it yourself!

*Lucy had had enough of her dad’s shenanigans and was determined to get him to come inside from the cold. She hoped this rainstorm was the wakeup call he needed. *

Grandpa E:

Grandpa E: SAM! MICHAEL!

Lucy: They’re not here dad!

Grandpa E: LUCY, YOU BRING ME THAT DAMN UMBRELLA BEFORE I CATCH MY DEATH OUT HERE!

She was done entertaining the notion that Paul, her sweet, kind, always there to help anyone, Paul, was stealing from her dad. He would have to come inside one way or another.

Grandpa E grumbled as his button-up shirt started to get soaked.

Paul turned to lay on his belly and watched his nemesis shift around, trying to determine what to do next. “Go inside, you old bastard,” Paul mumbled to himself. The rain was coming down hard now, if it wasn’t for his vampire eyes, he wouldn’t be able to see anything through the rain. Paul could stay out in the cold and wet forever if he needed to, but he knew grandpa E had to go inside, “go in,” Paul insisted.

He watched as grandpa E pulled the shotgun off his lap and scampered inside. He could hear him mumble something about an umbrella as he ran through the screen door into the kitchen.

Now was his chance!

Paul quickly flew down to the garden. He planted both feet firmly on the ground, what did it matter if his boot prints were in the ground, grandpa knew he was there, and also the rain would wash them out. Paul’s boots squished under him in the wet, burbly mud, he squatted down and grabbed the plant from the base of the stalk and ripped it out of the ground. The roots of the plant dripping down with mud and rain. He repeated his process a few more times. “Fucking old bastard,” he grumbled, as he pulled another plant up by the roots, “making me come out here in the - *grunts* FUCKING RAIN.”

He grabbed a few stalks, tucked them under the strap of his bag and flew off into the night.

Grandpa E heard the “woo-hoo” as he was reaching for the screen door. He ran outside, looking for the umbrella was a flop, it took him too long to search in the cramped closet, so he gave up and decided to return to his green patch of goodness. He scampered back to the kitchen and saw a hurried mess of hair shifting around in the garden.

Grandpa E: Look! There he is! *Pointing out the window*

Lucy: *Walking to the window* Dad, I don’t see anything?

Grandpa E: What do you mean?! He’s right there!

Lucy: *straining her eyes* Dad, it’s a downpour, I can’t see anything.

Grandpa E: *running to the screen door* I got your ass now!

But, as we all know, by the time he got out there, it was too late. Grandpa E, stared at the ground in defeat. He watched as the holes where the stalks used to be burbled and filled with mud and water. The boot prints were fading before his eyes. He knew no one would ever believe him now, and he knew Paul knew that too.

If he didn’t hate him so much by this point, he’d might have applauded him. But for now, he just fell to his knees, the mud sloshing under his pajama pants, and he wailed into the night.

Paul laughed the whole way back to the cave.

When he finally landed, he happily stomped down into the cave. He leaves of the stalks rustling, mud dripping off the stalks and the roots.

His boots squelched under his weight and the mud tracked in behind him.

The other boys and Michael watched as the cocky, rain washed out blond walked into the cave.

Marko: No fucking way.

Dwayne: Oh, Paul you didn’t

David: Atta boy!

Michael: Oooooh, I’m not here.

Paul hummed happily to himself; he ignored his brothers’ jeers as he walked to his alcove. He slung the bag off around his head set the stalks down next to his bean bag chair. He sat down on the tattered, ratty thing with an oomph. He looked at the stalks, he’d clean em and prep em for use later. Paul intended to pluck the seeds out and plant them near the cave, entirely done with being ‘smokey the bandit’.

He shifted to one side and reached a hand under the bag. He rifled around under the chair for a second before he produced what he was reaching for, an m&m tube. He patted his jacket for a lighter and popped open the blue plastic container. He wafted the open container under his nose and turned the tube upside down. A joint slid out into his open palm.

Paul plucked the twisted white paper and set it in his mouth. He flicked the lighter on and lit the end. He took a deep inhale and laid back further in his bean bag chair, still ignoring his brothers half-assed remarks.  

Victory never tasted so sweet.

[quietwingsinthesky]

Do you agree w/ the fandom interpretation that john was so homophobic he’d have beaten up and abandoned his sons for being gay? Cause sure, he grew up in the 60s as a mechanic and then later became a marine during the vietnam war, but i also don’t think homophobia would’ve necessarily been a priority for him? Like obviously he’s not gonna be the full on supportive and politically correct loving dad, but i think that the fandom’s general opinion on that is pretty warped by people’s relationships w/ their own fathers

I do think this is one place where people tend to project. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that; working out our issues through fiction is healthy and good! I don’t think there’s any canon proof of it beyond, as you said, him being a marine from the sixties who would probably not be super knowledgeable about being queer, maybe a little apprehensive about it from what he’s absorbed through the culture he grew up in. I think we’d be correct to point out that if Sam or Dean were queer, he might be uncomfortable about it, he might try to avoid the topic, which is in of itself hurtful.

The thing about me is: I fully disagree that John was ever physically abusive towards his kids. At most, I will bend this interpretation to say he was probably too harsh on them while teaching them to fight and that maybe he and Sam have traded blows before when arguments got too loud (by blows, I mean, probably shoving with the yelling, you know, assertion of physical space. It seems realistic to me that two people who have been using violence for a long time to protect themselves, and for John, his family, down to the hierarchal power he’s put in place of him -> Dean -> Sam, would resort to it when things got too heated.)

(I also think that sometimes fandom’s insistence that John had to be physically abusive can sometimes get a little insulting because it perpetuates the idea that emotional abuse does less harm and can be overlooked and for flattening out John’s character in a way the show very literally pointed to and said He Did Not Do That. This is the entire point of Max’s episode in s1, for the show to point out that their experiences of abuse were different. How well it was handled is arguable, but I take it as clear evidence that when we talk about John’s relationship with his sons, the focus should be on the emotional abuse, the codependency he developed with Dean from a very young age, his neglect of them both, his attempts to suppress Sam, etc. And I appreciate this about the show, because you can’t talk about any of those things without also talking about why they’re happening, why John thinks this is necessary, how he loves his sons and isolates them to protect them and ends up doing more and more damage that will never leave them through their entire lives.

I’m sure there’s depictions of John being physically abusive that handle it with the same amount of nuance that the show handles him being emotionally abusive in canon. I have not seen them, unfortunately. I’ve seen John being physically abusive 90% of the time just being used as shorthand for him being Bad and Evil and A Terrible Father. Which does not interest me. So I will remain here as a staunch defender of He Would Not Fucking Hit His Kids.)

Sorry, okay, we got off topic there this is about gay shit.

The point of All Of That was for me to be able to say, John’s not going to react to his sons being queer by beating them. He’s definitely not going to abandon them. Hello? John Winchester? Abandon his kids? John Winchester, the guy who has been keeping them in warded up motel rooms their whole lives and moving them across the country out of paranoia the demon who killed his wife could find them if they say anywhere too long? John Winchester who only trusted one or two people to ever look after his sons when he went on a hunting trip too long? We think that John would ditch his kid because they’re queer???

Like I said, I think the most realistic reaction for John, (if not just flat out him going ‘that’s fine, now load this gun while I time you because that’s more important for me to know that you can do’, because. He kind of has bigger priorities to worry about here. Like werewolves.) would be discomfort and pushing it out of his view, ignoring it. Which would still fucking hurt! And would have horrible effects on Sam and Dean both, would encourage Dean to repress it if he thinks his dad is ashamed of him, would push Sam away if he trusts John with this fact about himself and can’t be accepted easily.

I just think this is truer to John’s character.

Anyway. If nothing else here persuades anyone reading that John Would Not Fucking Do That, well. He thought his kid was demonspawn, remember? He thought Sam was corrupted and might not be able to be saved. I don’t think you can get more clear queercoding than that, and you know what John’s very telling response was to that information, to finding out something a thousand times more terrifying than Sam being gay ever could be? To refuse to look at it. To insist to himself that whatever Hell wanted with Sam, he wouldn’t let it happen. To tell Dean to take care of it, because even when John is certain that his son might literally become a demon, he could never bring himself to pull the trigger on him. Because he loves Sam.

So like. He literally would not do anything for the much smaller realization that Sam is gay. His son has demon blood that might turn him super evil, and John still wouldn’t hurt him.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is, I try to keep the fact that John loved his sons at the forefront of my mind when I’m writing stuff about him, because I think if you let that slide out of your head, you can very easily make him much worse, much more flat than he was in canon. The real picture of him is just an extremely flawed man in a terrible situation who fucks up his kids as much as he protects them.

And also he wouldn’t care about them being gay because JohnAzazel real and true and they fucked sloppy in that hospital basement-

[thatanimewriter]

UNDERGROUND.

➳ request: Hello, can i ask pyrrha with a gn mafia boss s/o who is a private person who has a dangerous semblance and hides it from pyrrha due to fear of pyrrha be disgusted by them and pyrrha doesn't knew that s/o is  vale's no 1 underground boss until s/o need to save pyrrha from cinder and told they're underling to fight off the grims and the white fang during the battle for beacon when the battle is over pyrrha ask about s/o's semblance and s/o confess to pyrrha about their semblance and how they become a mafia boss

➳ character/s: pyrrha nikos

➳ warnings: swearing, mentions of death and injuries, spoilers for volume 3 onwards 

➳ notes: thanks for requestinggg @unlikelyturtlelad​

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 / 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭  / 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 / 𝐰𝐢𝐩 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

──  𝐏𝐘𝐑𝐑𝐇𝐀 𝐍𝐈𝐊𝐎𝐒.

probably was a little bit upset that you never told her

but idk how you were supposed to go

“hello, my love, i’m the most renowned mafia boss in vale with the highest kill count and when i kill someone, i just carry their soul with me forever and i can hear everyone kinda talkin in the background while i do my shit, but i can release them and it’s some serious body horror type stuff and it hurts like a bitch, but it is a good intimidation tactic :))”

...

honestly, that probably is the best way to summarise it but you don’t wanna get into that conversation when you can pretend to be a normal person, yknow???

you have no clue how to break it to her that you’re not actually a villain, even if you’re mafia-involved

all you did was steal something from the schnee family because fuck jacques

n now you’re a public enemy-

and you don’t know how to explain your distaste for ozpin

or ozpin’s distaste for you

ozpin just doesn’t like you cause you know his secret

i guess that’s the one benefit for mafia involvement

but you absolutely hate the whole maiden project cause you know it won’t work against salem but he’s trying anyway

n then pyrrha came to you to tell you about her being the next fall maiden-

and she can safely say she’s never seen you so angry

maybe even a little scary since your semblance started to flair up with your anger

a dark red fog starting to swirl around you and eyes forming from within the fog

she claimed she would be ok, but you knew better than she did this time

but first, she had to make sure ozpin would be ok, because she was 90% you were gonna kill him

this was especially evident when you found out she’d gone after cinder by herself from jaune

with a sigh, you made some hand signals to send your goons to deal with the white fang and grimm in your stead while you went to go find your girlfriend with a hero complex

naturally, cinder is aware of your existence

and she knows very well what you’re capable of

so when she’s nearly about to shoot an arrow into pyrrha’s chest, she hesitates when she sees the thick fog circle around the room, creating a dome shape

now, pyrrha knew about that part

but she wasn’t prepared for your body to warp in ways it really shouldn’t have ever warped

layered screams of agony echoed throughout your little dome as you drew your weapon and promptly forced cinder to aim at you instead of pyrrha

but it’s ok, as fucking terrified as she is, she knows she’s safe 

she thinks-

when things are over

things being cinder’s ass kicked and knocked the fuck out and a pleasant smile on your face after hearing ozpin is dead

which was quickly wiped off when you realised he’d just reincarnate

but surely you wouldn’t have to deal with him again, right??

wrong

but when you’re in the infirmary gettin everyone patched up, pyrrha has some QUESTIONS

you answer them

but answering 1 question leads to 5 more

in the end, she’s glad that she has someone like you to keep her safe

but she never wants to hear the screams of many people in her ears all at once ever again

she tried to ensure that, but you just said

“no promises”

because who knows when you need to use it again in this strange, strange world

and if you ever see ozpin again, you’re gonna want to use it anyway

just for putting pyrrha in danger on purpose and knowing what she was going against but still decided to go through with it anyway

[gothwives]

reposting this list of new muses and plots i want for them feel free to like this or hmu if you see anything that interests you!!

-shelley gibson (c.amila m.orrone fc)- she/her, 23, bisexual, photographer/groupie (70s)

all the band/musician plots!! she flashed your muse while they were performing and they let her backstage/ran into her outside the venue, she got caught breaking into your muse’s dressing room (your muse could be security or the musician), your muse cheating on their partner with shelley while on tour

this one is depraved ik but i want a thread where the whole band passes her around and she just lets them use her whenever they’re h.orny or bored

“but daddy, i love him!!” type ships, your muse is the rebellious rockstar that shelley’s family doesn’t approve of but she’s head over heels for them

accidental pregnancy plots (or perhaps she did it on purpose bc she would 100% do it to trap her favorite musician in a relationship)

-victoria “vickie moon” mooney (s.uki w.aterhouse fc)- she/her, 28, bisexual, musician (70s or 90s)

someone from her hometown (perhaps a former partner/fling/best friend) running into her while she’s on tour

messy celebrity exes who she keeps writing songs about

pr relationship

falling in love with the opening act/a roadie/member of her band

she and her partner formed a band when they were together but now they broke up and it’s causing turmoil with the whole band

-onyx souza (b.arbie f.erreira fc)- she/her, 25, queer, thrift shop sales associate/witch (90s or modern)

-salem park (t.ati g.abrielle fc)- she/they, 26, lesbian, apothecary owner/witch (90s or modern)

members of their coven (perhaps a newbie wanting to be welcomed in like in the craft)

onyx or salem used magic to disguise themselves as your muse’s crush only to humiliate them to get back at them for something they did to piss them off

one of them put a hex on your muse but it backfired somehow

they were gonna sacrifice your muse for some spell but then they actually started to like them

people they can degrade and dominate in general, perhaps someone that is super into one of them but they just likes fucking with them to see what they can get away with

rival witches/covens that keep hexing/cursing each other back and forth

they used a love spell on your muse (perhaps accidentally) and it worked too well

[includeangieinthesequel]

More Madrigal 2022 Headcannons

I am once again asking someone to draw these.

Thank you for all the love on the other headcannons I made!

Mirabel likes to guess what’s gonna be on her Spotify wrapped each year.

Camilo and Mirabel take their Snapchat streak very seriously.

Julieta loves when her daughters ask to take selfies with her.

Pepa demands selfies. As soon as she sees someone taking one she immediately jumps in.

Felix’s lockscreen is Pepa.

Isabela is Tiktok famous. She definitely advocates for injustices on her platform too. As does Julieta. I still think Julieta is like Tabitha Brown on there.

Dolores is constantly watching hair tutorials and trying every single one.

Camilo had AirPods. He lost them exactly a week after getting them. He doesn’t know Antonio found them and uses them all the time.

Isabela is the one that got Pepa into Meg Thee Stallion. It started with “Cash Shit” and just went from there. Isabela heavily relates to the beginning of “Girls in the Hood” cause hell yeah “fuck being good I’m a bad bitch…”

Pepa used to listen to a lot of rap in her day. Like all the greats. She really liked Tupac back in the 90s. Julieta did too but no one believes her.

Agustin gets really emotional when he hears any sort of ballad. He just starts weeping at the first chorus. Julieta thinks it’s sweet.

Luisa has headphones with cat ears on them. Isabela gave them to her and she teared up a little about it.

Mirabel likes to help Isabela dye her hair. She always ends up with stained hands though.

Isabela straightened Dolores’ hair once and Dolores wouldn’t go near her Mami for a week. She didn’t want the humidity or the rain to revert it back before she was ready.

All of them like doing hair masks together.

One time Mirabel accidentally shaved part of her eyebrow off and asked if her mami could fix it.

Julieta said, “Oh honey, I can heal you but I can’t fix bald.”

Mirabel was not impressed.

Isabela can grow weed. She didn’t know what it was first but Julieta knew and told her she’d take care of it. She made edibles. She later explained to Isabela what it was. They had a lot of fun

Felix and Pepa love when Isabela and/or Camilo ask them to do Tiktok dances with them. They’re really good at it.

Isabela had to restrain Pepa from learning the Wap dance from Tiktok. She personally wanted to see it but she didn’t want to scar Camilo for life.

Mirabel cried when she watched Moana (assuming other Disney movies can exist in this universe)

Sometimes Julieta let’s Isabela do her make up for Tiktok. It’s really cute watching them giggle together about whatever Julieta is saying to make her daughter grin.

Luisa often interviews the donkeys the way people do with dogs by holding the mic up to their noses. Antonio loves to translate.

Julieta’s lockscreen is her and her siblings. Her home screen is her daughters and Agustin.

Bruno’s lockscreen is rats.

The triplets have some secret tattoos they got when they were young. They’re good at hiding them too. Pepa and Bruno didn’t think Julieta would actually agree to it but she did.

The cousins accidentally showed Antonio a scary YouTube video and they had to face the wrath of Pepa until he could sleep on his own again. Bruno was also terrified by the video.

The whole family played Among us when it was first popular. Antonio thought it was funny to call people “sus” even when he wasn’t using it right.

Felix knows how to tap dance. He taught Agustin.

Luisa loves wearing lashes. Pepa does too and taught her how to apply them. They share make up tips since Luisa likes to look pretty while doing her chores and Pepa’s make up has to survive all the elements.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 325: Deku VS the Outside of U.A. ~Conclusion~

Previously on BnHA: Ochako was all “dear bloodthirsty mob, this kid you see standing before you has fought harder than anyone and put his life on the line to protect you all, so please chill the fuck out, jesus christ. like, putting aside that he’s humanity’s best hope and so it’s very much in your best interests to let him rest and recover someplace safe so that he can keep fighting for us, are y’all seriously going to turn away an injured and exhausted child in front of his sobbing mother?? seriously?? come on now.” I’m paraphrasing here but that’s basically how it went down. Anyway so then the mob was all, “...” and Deku collapsed to his knees in tears, and Gigantic Fox Lady and Kouta ran over to give him a hug but then the chapter ended.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “FINE, YOU CAN HUG HIM”, which, was that so hard?? The U.A. Clown Mob is all “come to think of it, we’ve kind of been taking the heroes for granted this entire time, maybe we should be less passive in the future. anyway so Deku if it’s not too much to ask, can you please save everyone and fix everything.” Deku is all “I sure can, and by the way I forgive you for swarming around all menacingly two minutes ago and trying to deny me basic shelter and stuff.” Ectoplasm is all, “hey Todogang get a load of this. [walks in a circle].” Hawks is all, “that’s literally the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.” Rat Principal is all, “anyway so that’s what your students did today, hope you’re enjoying your new *~*ROBOT LEG*~*, Aizawa.” Aizawa is all “[lots of exposition about Kurogiri and for some reason, Toga, while being all brooding and sexy].” All Might is all “[standing here right outside of U.A. doing absolutely nothing and being foreboding AF]” and that immediately sucked away all of the warm fuzzy feelings from the hugs, goddammit.

each new week has become a waiting game of “when will Deku finally get to take a bath so people will actually be willing to go near him and give him the hugs he deserves.” the stakes have never been so compelling. I’ve almost forgotten about AFO entirely

lmaoooooo

me: for the love of god will someone please give Deku a hug before I die of old age

Mineta: YOU GOT IT!! --

Iida: [SWIFTLY CUTS HIM OFF] NOT YOU

fucking losing it at Mineta’s crying face. he really wanted to hug him. I legit feel bad but this is also the funniest thing I have seen all week, omg

somehow Kouta, who last week was only a hand’s breadth away from touching Deku’s head, is now twenty miles away from him in this new chapter

can I make a Loki reference here. is this recap a good place to insert a joke about someone using a TVA time-rewinding device to fuck with my poor boy Kouta over here. well anyway there it is

AND NOW HE’S BACK ALL OF A SUDDEN OMG

(ETA: since when is he “niichan” omg?? can’t handle this cuteness.)

BUT THEY’RE STILL NOT HUGGING HIM FFFFKFFFFF. WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO. WHO DO I HAVE TO BRIBE AND/OR BLACKMAIL

OH NO KOUTA IS CRYING THAT’S IT I’M DONE FOR

“when I heard that lady I knew that I had to go, but then stop again within inches of actually touching you because you smell like week-old rotten onions.” listen Kouta, I’m not saying I don’t get it, but you all can’t keep doing this to me. it’s the way you guys keep teasing it. like, if you’re gonna hug him, hug him. don’t just stand there with your arms held rigidly out in front of you like a molded action figure

OH MY GOSH BUT HE SAID THE THING

KOUTA SWOOPING IN AT THE LAST MINUTE TO TAKE ALL THE CREDIT FOR FIXING DEKU LIKE THAT ONE KID IN THE GROUP PROJECT WHO DOES ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BUT STILL TAGS HIS NAME ONTO THE REPORT ANYWAY, WHAT A KNAVE

GASP

(  ´͈ ᗨ `͈ )

SHE PICKED HIM UP LIKE A LITTLE BABY OMG?? she just leaned right over and lifted this child like he was a small animal. like a lil baby futon that she was about to hang up to dry. oh my god

-- HEY WHAT

(: well that’s extremely fucked up. though sadly not too surprising given what we just saw these past couple chapters

incidentally, I hope that anyone who was legitimately defending the civilians’ perspective earlier takes note here of how quickly that line of thinking -- “we’re just trying to keep our families safe” and all that-- can lead to straight up bigotry. if you’re willing to deny a child shelter and protection simply because he’s not YOUR child, and because you’ve decided based on Internet rumors (no real-world parallels there, I’m sure) that he might present a threat, it’s really not that much further of a leap to discriminating against entire groups of people simply because you perceive those groups as being dangerous. I’m sure the people who turned Gigantic Fox Lady away also told themselves afterwards that they did it to protect their families. “better safe than sorry.” “she’ll be fine, someone will take her in, but as for us, we can’t afford to take that risk.” people can come up with all kinds of justifications for treating other people as less than human, and the really scary thing about it is how fucking easy it is

one last quick side note, which is that Horikoshi does a great job here of showing how scapegoating works, given that AFO is the one who’s really to blame and who presents the actual threat, and yet Deku is the one who ultimately winds up being the target of the mob’s fear and outrage despite him being as much of a victim as they are. gotta love that irony, which unfortunately plays out far too often in the real world as well.

anyway I’ll get off my soapbox now, sorry about that. let us continue

YES, FINALLY OH MY GOD!!!!

AND THAT’S THE STORY OF HOW GIGANTIC FOX LADY BECAME THE GREATEST HERO. PACK IT ALL UP, WE’RE DONE HERE KIDS

holy shit. the real MVP right there. thanks for getting it done champ

jesus christ I have had it up to here with these people

literally the bar is set so low at this point that I’ll go ahead and take it. helping him because it offers them a tactical advantage is at least one step up from not helping him at all

“WHY NOT SHIKETSU” MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD

-- thank you!!

okay this one guy with the antennae hair is having himself a character development speedrun here

-- okay, but this part?? fucking this part, right here??

can we repeat that again?? the part where this guy acknowledges that the problems of hero society were caused not just by said heroes, but also by said society?? the part where he acknowledges that they treated the heroes like celebrities who were putting on a show for them?? the part where he acknowledges that when push came to shove, the vast majority of those heroes, when faced with a situation that offered no reward, were nonetheless willing to put their lives on the line to protect the very same people who then turned around and blamed them rather than thanking them?? are the civilians of BnHA even allowed to have actual deep thoughts about this stuff. holy shit

bro!!

ANTENNAE HAIR GUY SHOVING KOUTA AND GIGANTIC FOX LADY OUT OF THE WAY TO SLAP HIS NAME ONTO THE END CREDITS AS EXECUTIVE PRODUCER. CONGRATULATIONS SON YOU FIGURED OUT THE CORE PHILOSOPHICAL QUESTION AT THE VERY HEART OF THE MANGA. WAY TO GO BUD

meanwhile, on today’s episode of “one more chapter to go till the big volume cliffhanger, how else can I drag things out let’s see”

it’s a panel. of people’s feet. just a bunch of normal feet. with sneakers and shit

this All Might shirt guy is getting more screentime in this arc than 90% of the class 1-A kids

I guess I’m supposed to feel sorry for this dude now that he’s all “if we let you stay here do you promise to somehow magically fix every single problem that we are now currently facing?” those are some ridiculously exacting standards my dude. come on now

KACCHAN SIGHTING

thank fuck I’m not the only one who’s thoroughly unimpressed by absolutely all of this lol. I feel better now. meanwhile Iida and Kouda and Kiri are ready to run over there and hug them all. you guys are way too forgiving. damn you and your pure hearts

anyway so Deku’s like “yeah, definitely”

(ETA: almost forgot to comment on the “I’m no longer alone” part – he basically corrects the guy and says “sorry, but you’ll need to direct that question towards all of us, not just me, because moving forward we’re a team.” good stuff.)

you know what though, all joking aside... fuck yeah. because perfect victory, right. the strongest guys don’t settle for anything less. so I guess Deku has pretty exacting standards himself

also can you all just take a look at this fucking kid who’s got so much light in his eyes now that I’m gonna need eclipse goggles. hot damn. “you’re welcome” says All Might Shirt Guy as he is frantically interviewed by several local news networks asking him how he daringly managed to save Deku all by himself. “well I guess I’ve just never been the kind of guy who can sit back and let a bunch of rabble-rousers blame a little kid for all of humanity’s problems. someone had to step in and take action, you know?”

oH MY GOD THE SCENE IS FINALLY ENDING

don’t let the door hit you on your way out All Might Shirt Guy

but meanwhile, sudden Tododrama action??

oh shit

there are honestly so many ways in which Ochako’s very moving speech could have wildly backfired that I genuinely have no clue where this is headed lol. how exciting!!

so now Horikoshi is once again stalling for time with random filler panels, but this one is 10x better than the shoes lol omg

(1) was Ectoplasm’s jacket always this oversized. (2) did you guys know that if you go back to chapter 319 you can see that Horikoshi gave us a sneak peak at Enji’s Sad Detective disguise and I in fact made a joke about it in the 319 recap not realizing it was actually the stone cold truth. (3) did Shouto deliberately speed up out of impatience because Hawks was walking so fucking slow and he couldn’t take it any longer. (4) and what, I ask you, is up with these dramatic speedlines. so many mysteries here. what a masterpiece

everyone is acting all shocked about something ahh what’s going on

wait what

what the heck. did they just loop around behind everyone. what was the point of that lol. “anyway, so this is what they look like from the back” well okay, thanks for that Ectoplasm

(ETA: so it seems like they were actually hanging out someplace else away from the crowd this whole time, I guess? here I thought they had more faith in Enji’s disguise. I guess Shouto and Hawks don’t particularly want to attract this crowd’s attention themselves right now either, though.)

I am so fucking confused lmao

speaking of All Might WHERE THE FUCK IS HE lol. but yes, good, OFA brings everyone together, and Hawks is very deeply moved about this out of the blue all of a sudden. you know how it is

aw heck yeah now this is another filler panel I can get behind

Mineta really wants that hug, good lord. I genuinely love this actually. Mineta if you could just stay little and cute and keep crying about how much you love your classmates in a non-gross way for the rest of the series I would be so appreciative. you’re doing great

IIDA IS HOLDING DEKU’S HAND THIS IS NOT A DRILL. ONE TIME WASN’T ENOUGH FOR MY MAN HE’S ADDICTED NOW

what did I tell you. Kiri wants to get all of the mob’s autographs now. Kiri you’re a peach

Shouji having a conversation with another mutant type is a very nice touch! we really need to get to his backstory soon. I feel like that casual remark from GFL earlier was kind of hinting at more to come

is this the first time we’ve ever seen the Yaoyorictionary in action?? never forget that Viz tried to call it the “Yaoyorozu Reference Book” because they hate fun

last but not least, KAMIBAKU IS BACK ON THE MENU, FUCK YEAH. Kaminari trying to spice things up and introduce a little bit of controversy by smacking Kacchan on the back of the head for god knows what. I will be deeply disappointed after this if I can’t find at least one person unironically declaring that KamiBaku is now toxic and abusive

lfkdlWLWK TODODRAMA??

oh my god. Shouto’s face. Enji’s face. the back to “oyaji” again. the blunt, not-taking-no-for-an-answer, “I don’t know how much louder the universe can scream at you that doing things alone is not it, so hopefully you got the point” directness of it. fffdlkslj I’m so ready for this Horikoshi please don’t fuck it up my expectations are so high

HOLY FUCK

I SCROLLED DOWN AND HE WAS ALL “( ❛‿❛)” AND I JUST WASN’T FUCKING EXPECTING THAT OKAY. JESUS CHRIST. GIVE ME A SEC

lol okay moment over and now Enji’s pulling his hat down all dramatically like a world-weary Cowboy

OH MY GOD WERE YOU FACETIMING??

AHHHHHHHHH

(ETA: not to put Iida down or anything, but it’s kind of strange that Aizawa is all “the class rep sure did great” when Ochako is the one that was giving that whole big speech for like twenty minutes just now lol.)

(ETA 2: “thank god Iida stepped in just in the nick of time to keep Mineta from hugging Deku.” sorry Mineta I really do like you lately but it’s still low-hanging fruit lol.)

HE LOOKS SO SAD??! HE LOOKS LIKE HEARTBREAK ITSELF??! I AM BESOUGHT WITH THE URGE TO REACH INTO MY SCREEN AND PULL HIM INTO THE SAFETY OF MY ARMS??? MY GOD, AND I THOUGHT DEKU NEEDED HUGS

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH okay I was gonna just hold down the letter H for a full minute and count it out loud but within about ten seconds I realized I needed to chill lol

-- but then again NO, I DON’T NEED TO CHILL, I HAVE ZERO CHILL, ACTUALLY, BECAUSE IT’S AIZAWA WITH A ROBOT LEG AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

COMPLETE WITH ROBOT TOES FOR THAT EXTRA TOUCH OF AUTHENTICITY!! I LIKE HOW HORIKOSHI PUT ALL THIS EXTRA “!!!” EMPHASIS AROUND IT IN CASE WE COULD SOMEHOW POSSIBLY FAIL TO TAKE NOTICE. “REMEMBER, EVERYONE?” SAYS HORIKOSHI HELPFULLY. “REMEMBER THAT TIME AIZAWA CHOPPED OFF HIS OWN LEG?” oh wow now that you mention it we somehow forgot all about that. like who do you take us for

OH NO NOT THE SAD BOYFRIEND ANGST THAT I WAS SECRETLY LOOKING FORWARD TO WITH GLEE

well at least he’s not M.I.A. or back with the villains again like I thought he might be. still, that’s gotta be brutal to know your friend is in there somewhere, but to not be able to reach him again no matter how hard you try. that’s the kind of angst that pays off in final battles just when you most expect it. such is my hope, at any rate

what’s this now??

trying to decide if this is Horikoshi’s way of saying don’t worry about that, or his way of saying definitely worry about that lol

anyway so Aizawa is out here being all irresponsibly handsome once again. when is someone going to do something about him

here for Sexy Robot Leg Eyepatch Aizawa clenching his fists and making speeches about revenge. pretty sure we’re all here for that

WELL, WELL, WELL

IT’S ABOUT FUCKING TIME

I’M VERY GLAD YOU’RE ALIVE AND SEEMINGLY WELL, THOUGH!

BUT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK THOUGH, ALL MIGHT

ffff. bracing myself for that cliffhanger next week. you’d better not touch one hair on this man’s head Horikoshi. I’m watching you 

[sammyloomis]

random hobbies i think the ud kids have

hannah - she buys and repaints those weird dolls with the articulated joints. beth has 100% been scared shitless after turning a corner and walking into hannah wearing giant fkn magnifying glasses carrying a half painted doll head, and it’d explain why the washingtons have a doll house in the basement thats full of what looks like high end designer dolls fghjk

beth - bug taxidermy. i used to have this hc for hannah but i think it fits beth more tbh, i just feel like all the washington sibs have vaguly unnerving hobbies bein horror kids n all :’]. she made a butterfly display for hannah one birthday and its one of hannahs fave things in the world. on a related note, she’s the go-to sibling for getting spiders out of rooms

josh - goes to thrift stores and buys unmarked vhs tapes and just spends hours upon hours watching them in the hopes of finding some Weird Bullshit... tho its mostly old soap operas and ads from the 90s. the weirdest thing he’s found so far is what looks like a home made porno that halfway thru gets taped over with an episode of star trek. he was very disappointed. its what a good 60% of his shelves are made up of amidst the collectors edition blu rays

sam - sammy..... ohhh sammy sammy sammy what to do with you. sams the kind of person who, as well as being the mom friend, makes exercising her whole personality and i Love that for her so so much. as a fandom i think we’ve kinda agreed sam rock climbs recreationally, but i think we can extend that to Most physical activity. shes never Not moving or on a hike or doing yoga or at the gym and when she Isn’t doing those things shes either asleep, studying, working, or at a party following everyone around with water bottles.

ashley - once i read a fic where they mentioned ashley drawing with charcoal and its truly never left my mind since. she has them all over her room, taped to her door, over at friends houses where shes just started sketching and Left it there. for someone who hates horror and scary things, they’re always Super Fucking Creepy cause she bases them off her nightmares n anxieties. her hands always have black soot all over them and her rings leave little white spots when she takes them off

chris - paints and collects figures, everything from warhammer to gundams to ships in bottles, if its to scale hes gonna want it. its kinda hard for him cause hes got those big sausage fingers but he manages. has whole shelves full of the things and paints dnd figures if u ask him nicely. also owns a pair of those magnifying glasses that hannah has for her dolls and he looks like the epitome of nerdism when his mum comes in with snacks for him and he looks up from painting a fkn orc in his barely lit bedroom with those things on

jessica - collects bottle caps, she just has a whole drawer full of the things. shes been doing it since she was a kid and wants to find Some way to display them one day but not any time soon, has a surprising amount of variety considering she almost exclusively drinks diet coke. she also steals everyone elses before they throw them out and it’s not just everyones habit to hand jess their bottle caps when they open a drink, and she just makes grabby hands at them until they do

emily - emily has bigggg collage energy. but like, rly artistic and fancy shit?? like she goes to thrift stores to find stacks of old magazines and newspapers and art books and fashion catalogues and has whole scrapbooks full of her creative ideas. semi related, but i think shes Big into designing her own clothes and uses said collages as a way to kinda blurt her ideas onto paper in a more fun way. NOBODY but jess has seen these btw, they are Very Secret and Embarrassing

matt - BAKING!! matt loves baking so much i swear to GOD this boy knows how to make a killer tray of brownies. whatever his family dont eat he ends up taking to whatever party and/or gathering everyone else is at because he just makes so much stuff it’ll go to waster otherwise (and having a friend group where half of them are stoners defo helps)

mike - hes always struck me as a mechanic kinda guy?? like he used to hang out in the garage when he was a kid and watch his dad fix the family car and hand him the tools. it translated into him always wanting to tinker with something, tho he usually breaks it. had those “build ur own lamp” kits as a kid

[cantdanceflynn]

 OK QUICK DISCLAIMER OF “THIS ISNT SUPPOSED TO BE “OH EVIL CREEPY PHINEAS AND FERB” OR “OH HAHAAHAHAH GONNA RUIN PNF FOR U” THIS IS “IM VERY HYPERFIXATED AND IF U WATCH LIKE A WALKTHROUGH AND ALSO WATCH THE SHOW EVERYONE MUSIC VIDEO THIS GAME WAS JUST BEGGING FOR A PNF AU” ANYWAYS IVE TRIGGER TAGGED EVERYTHING I CAN THINK OF IM RLY SRY IF THIS RUINS SOMEONES DAY OR SOMETHING CAUSE IK PNF IS A KIDS SHOW AND I WENT A LIL OVERBOARD WITH THE BLOOD IK BUT IT WORKS WITHIN THE AU BC LINDA(DAISY) AND LAWRENCE(NICK NACK) ACTUALLY GET USED AND ALICE IS. SIGNIFICANTLY MORE PROACTIVE IN HER OWN WAY COMPARED TO MORTIMER

BUT LIKE. IM SO PROUD OF THIS U GUYS HAVE NO CLUE IG I NEED TO DRAW HORROR MORE OR SOMETHING

ALSO FOR THE OTHER UN-DRAWN CHARACTERS: ANTONY IS IRVING AND OWEN IS MYSTERY.

TECHNICALLY THIS AU TAKES PLACE OVER A FEW MONTHS INSTEAD OF THE MULTIPLE DECADES OF HELLO PUPPETS CANON. BOTH BC THE FLYNN-FLETCHERS KNOW HOW TO GET SHIT DONE AND BC I DIDNT WANT ANYONE I DIDNT HAVE TO HAVE DIE(SRY MYSTERY) DIE.

LONG STORY SHORT, ODDLY SIMILAR TO CANON, MYSTERY ENDED UP CASTING A(VERY NORMAL DEMONICALLY INFESTED) SPELL TO BRING ALICE(JUST A RLY INTRICATE AND FREAKY PUPPET IN THIS AU) TO LIFE, WHICH TURNED INTO ALICE KNOCKING HIM OUT, ESCAPING TO THE STUDIO, MAKING FUCKED UP PUPPETS OF MOST OF THE FLYNN-FLETCHER FAMILY(THE BOYS, LINDA AND LAWRENCE) AND THEIR SOULS BEING FORCED INTO SAID PUPPETS. LINDA AND LAWRENCE FALL TO THE DEMON PRETTY EASILY(LOSING THEIR MEMORIES IN THE PROCESS), BUT PHINEAS AND FERB ARE HARDER TO CONTROL. SO THE DEMON GOES “FUCK IT” AND FORCES PERRY AND CANDACES SOULS OUT OF THEIR BODIES AS WELL. UNSURPRISINGLY, THIS LEADS TO PHINEAS AND FERB PANICKING, QUICKLY MAKING VERY NOT GREAT PUPPETS OF PERRY AND CANDACE, AND WILLINGLY GIVING INTO THE DEMON AS THEIR SIDE OF AN AGREEMENT TO SAVE THEIR LIVES BY PUTTING THEM INTO PUPPETS AS WELL. CANDACES MIGHT BE MESSY, AND SLIGHTLY IMMUNE TO THE DEMONS NORMAL POSSESSION(ALTHOUGH STILL MOST OF THE MEMORY WIPING), BUT HERS IS STABLE. PERRYS ON THE OTHER HAND, WAS NOT BUILT FOR THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HUMAN AND ANIMAL SOUL, AND HAD TO BE EDITED SEVERELY, EVENTUALLY ENDING WITH PHINEAS AND FERB SEWING THEIR HOSTS INTO PERRY TO KEEP HIM ALIVE AND STABLE. BASICALLY 90% OF THE SHOW CAST ENDS UP GETTING KIDNAPPED BUT, AS SHOWN IN THE COMIC, THEY’RE KEPT IN ODD HALF-CONSCIOUS HOST STASIS WHILE THEY MOSTLY USE OTHER RANDOM PEOPLE AS HOSTS INSTEAD. EVENTUALLY, DEMON POSSESSION OR NOT(AND THE DEMON FORCING ALMOST EVERYONE INTO DISDAIN FOR HER), CANDY FINDS THE WORKING TV. AND THATS WHEN THE MEMORIES START COMING BACK. FIRST FOR HER, THEN OVER THE COURSE OF CANON, EVERYONE.

THATS AROUND WHERE THE GAME ITSELF STARTS, WHICH IM PLANNING TO HOPEFULLY MAKE A LOT OF COMICS FOR BUT WE’LL SEE

@pyxehastoomanyinterests @official-crucified-mortimer

[theficplug]

Taking Erik To The Beauty Supply Store 2 / Barber Shop With Erik

Erik Killmonger x Black Reader

Warnings : mature/sexual conversations?

it's a regular day in the stevens household. going to the beauty supply store again & the barber shop but hey it's fun cause it's you and your man.

First taking Erik to the beauty supply store fic:

“I could beat the brake off her lying ass. First of all, I should’ve known something was up cause she asked me if I’m natural. I said yes. She said well I normally do relaxed hair.. Then said you got to have your hair washed and blow dried already… Talking about she was going to have me serving 90s Nia Long. This bitch got me looking like big momma when she came home for that motherfucking party.” You continue your rant as Erik moves around the room looking for your body butter and your fluffy shoes to put on for the day.

You wanted a cute 90s pixie cut to go along with the theme of the maternity shoot which was like the cheesy 90s mall style set with the faded backdrop.

180 dollars and a lopsided , almost a golden bob later and you are still thinking about snatching her out of that salon.

“I’m gonna try and trim it up myself and dye it before the maternity photos tomorrow. But I’mma get two wigs just in case I mess up.” You explain to Erik as he begins to spread the body butter up your legs leaving a golden glow on your skin.

“Not you down there cackling after getting some hang time on the locs you been growing since high school... It’s quiet, ain't no back talk.” You banter with him and he stops massaging your legs to give you a look and laughs softly before giving you a retort of his own.

“You got a lot to say for somebody that can’t even lotion they ashy lil knees.”

“Your daughter been pushing against my organs for 8 and a half months. I don’t wanna hear nothing unless its about my push present. You know that I like rings… My engagement ring looking reeeealll lonely.” you say to him as you dangle your hand in front of his face.

“You look so fucking good today baby… Say, Big Fine, lemme get your number… I’mma eat the f-” he trails off kissing your legs and letting his tongue trail up it and you grab his chin softly.

“Boy if you don’t come on before you be late for your appointment… Can I stop and get a blue raspberry slushie first though?” you ask him and he sighs softly before giving you a small smile and nodding.

“Yeah, hold on let me grab your shoes and purse and then we can go.”

“And obviously yes when we come back before I install that lace front you can beat, duh.” you reply to him before giving him a peck to his lips.

After he grabs everything and helps you down the stairs. And with his help of putting you into his big ass truck you two are on your way.

“We’re going to get my hair cut first cause I already know you’re going to want to go to 2 different stores and it’s only gon’ take him about 15 minutes at the most to line me up.”

He wasn’t lying with the way that you liked to scan every section of the store before you left because to be honest where else were you going to get a pair of skittle shorts, bomb ass lip glosses, and a cute little panda hand sanitizer holder all in one place?

“Okay, sounds like a plan.. The way that I was supposed to have a hot girl summer this year and ended up with a damn its too hot for me to even put my clothes on mom summer. You really were not playing about trying to start a family on your birthday.” you joke as you crunch on your goldfish and look over at Erik.

“I think you just got finer through this whole thing. Watching my baby grow my baby is something surreal. In the beginning watching you go through all of the morning sickness and the body aches and stuff. I felt so bad you know not being able to physically take on all that was going on with you. I aint gon’ never not be appreciative and awe of you.” Erik replies with a serious comment that you were not expecting and you’d be damned if the hormones aren’t doing their thing.

“I really did not expect you to say that. Baabbbee, come on. You know I cry about everything right now. Love you.” you lean over to wrap your arms around him gently and kiss the side of his face while he’s focusing on the road.

“I love you too…. I think I’mma get my locs cut off soon. I don’t know why I’m ready to get a fade and just call it a day.” he questions before looking over at you briefly

“Either way you still gonna look good. I knew you before you even got your locs so you’re gonna look even better now because you grew into your head. Dee be cutting the fuck outta your hair even though he been bald for a good 40 years.” you say and it causes Erik to let out a loud laugh and shake his head.

You eventually ended up ordering a blue raspberry lemonade slushie, a hotdog and fries because Sonic basically took all of Erik's money at this point in your pregnancy.

The rest of your ride was chill as you both swayed to the music or turned it down for a little chat every now and then.

In public was always very protective of you but especially since becoming pregnant he has been hovering over you like a lion waiting for someone to even look at you for too long.

He hops out of the sleek matte black truck first to help you out and sling his arm around your waist with a hand resting on your belly.

You feel some eyes on you as you walk through the door. Your multi-coloured sundress that showcased your back, flowing with you.

Some of the men, new to the shop you assumed, were eyeing you down before Erik looked over their way and nods at them and they pretended to check their phones.

“What's up E? Damn lil sis look like she’s about to pop! How you feeling baby girl?” Dee greets you and Erik as you both walk in and some of the regulars in there say hey to the both of you.

“I’m alright Dee. Baby is just really ready to see the world. She has been kicking up a storm at times. I think we might have a little athlete here.” you reply and you watch as the greyed man with freckles across his cheeks and bridge of his nose eyes crinkle as he finishes cutting the man's hair sitting in the chair.

“I remember when I became a father for the first time. Shits wild because you think that you know everything there is to know and then when you actually see your baby take that first breath. It’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced before.” He continues as he shows you a photo of his 4 children and you give him a small smile.

“Ooh, they’re beautiful.” you compliment him as you settle into your seat and scroll on your phone on your phone waiting for Erik to be next.

Some time went by and the men seemed like they were trying to keep their conversation in a hush and you can see some eyes on you as they talked back and forth.

“I’m just saying if you want a threesome with your girl and you expect her to be okay with letting another woman into her bed. You need to match her energy. Could you imagine your girl asking you to bring a whole nother man into your room if that’s not what you’re into? Instead of asking for it. Maybe try bringing toys into the situation. Could spice it up a notch and be in both of your comfort zones. Personally, couples vibrators seem to do the trick just fine.” You advise as you look up from scrolling on your Pinterest feed.

The little huddle of them in front of you stopped talking and immediately looked up at you in silence before Dee’s laugh broke it.

“I don’t know about bringing another man in. That ain't my thing but I get what you're saying. Which ones would you recommend?” The one named Leron asked and you notice Erik is now paying attention , looking from you to them to make sure they stay respectful.

“You better let them know , baby girl! That’s how that baby popped into fruition. She got you with the tantric breathing, huh E?” he jokes and Erik cracks into a smile, his golds gleaming as he looks at you.

“She not wrong. Engage in what your woman like too. Yoga, talking during sex, giving as much as you receive from her, all that. ” He says casually and shrugging and you give him a small smile cause this man done come so far from when you met him.

After he finishes lining up his beard, Erik pays and you’re on your way to one of your favourite places.

“You look so sexy. Your beard is all lined up crisp and stuff. I told you that beard oil was gonna even it out.” you say to him and kiss him below his ear . His hand gripped your thigh gently and you repeated it again.

It didn’t take long before you were at one of your favourite places.

You turned to Erik and asked him to buy a stocking cap for you to try on the wigs that you liked and wanted to see before you purchased it.

You slid on the stocking cap over your hair before grabbing a cute little 27 piece pixie cut wig just to try it on and see what it was giving . You finger combed it and turned to Erik to ask him how it looks.

“Like you finna start singing “Truth is i’m tired. Take me to the king. Here’s my offering-” .” You hold in your laugh as you push Erik’s chest and he grabs your hands.

“I can’t stand your ass !” You say cracking up and Erik grabs the stocking cap from his pocket that he brought himself and slides it over his locs.

You watch as he grabs one of the bobs from the mannequin and sits it half cocked on his head before shaking it side to side.

“What’s cooler than being cool? Ice cold. You know what to do doooo. You know what to doooo.... This is your grand daddy. This is your grand daddy.” Erik starts acting like Andre 3000 and Mr. Brown. You swear this man was gonna make you push out this baby with how hard you were laughing at him.

“Why are you moving your lips like thaaat? What’s your name? B.O.B, so they calling you Bob? Stop playing nigga you know that I’m known for the bob.” you sing the nicki minaj lyrics to him and both of y’all get a good laugh before he takes off the wig and places it carefully back on the mannequin.

He looks over at the one that looked the most like your hair before you got it cut and slides it on.

His expressions changed and he narrowed his eyes at you before putting his hand on his stomach.

“Whew, my god E. You did this to me and for what? My ankles looking like cornbread huh? Look at this shit bae! If my nose swells for real in these next months, we fighting. Damn, I’m getting thick. I look like I'm pregnant in the front and the back. Can you get me two shrimp po’boys and some fries on the way home? ERIK, wake up- You our baby look like Stitch in this ultrasound? Stop playing , im for real.” he sounds exactly like you and mimicked your expressions to a t.

You giggled softly and snatched his wig off leaving him standing there looking crazy in the cap.

“You wanna fight?” You ask him before walking up on him like you’re on bad girls club and swinging the wig at him.

He helped you put the wig back on the mannequin and kissed both of your hands before continuing through the aisle with you.

You both ignored how many times the employee passed by or watched you as you grabbed some of the products from the shelf and put it into your little cart that you wanted to try.

“You wish this was you, huh? You wanted to be Future from 8 Mile so bad, huh? ” you ask Erik , laughing as you point to the full lace faux locs wig that’s in front of you and he shakes his head.

“She got you down bad. This you?” he asks you as he points to the lil gold church wig that’s sitting on the top shelf and you suck your teeth at him .

“You wanna dip dye your hair for tomorrow? A pretty auburn colour would look so good on you or even a baby blue?” You ask him as you move away from the wigs after deciding to put a off black lace front straight wig in your cart and another in sandy blonde with deep waves.

You scan the shelf of dye as Erik wraps his arm around your waist and takes a look.

“This one looks good right here.” He adds as he hands you a colour called Electric Blue.

“This is gonna look so good on you bae.” You compliment him and he leans down to kiss you softly.

“You only tryna compliment me cause you want me to help you install that wig. You think you slick bae.” he calls as he walks off towards the hair care products for his locs.

“Well, if I’m finna use the little energy I have to retwist your hair you could at least extend the helping hand!” You call after him.

“I haven’t tried peppermint oil yet but it should be good to add to my mix? Look, I found this small ass bonnet. She’s gonna be able to match us.” He says walking back to you and showing you the lilac bonnet in his hand and you swear you were about to tear up again cause all 3 of you were gonna have matching bonnets and durag.

“If she takes after both of us she’s gonna have a head full of hair. To cover that melon from your side.” You tease him

“Come on and grab your butterfly wings for your eyes so we can go home and finish our show. I’mma cook them snow crabs for you too.” he says to you and you can see him watching you like you hung the moon in the sky yourself as you venture off.

You grabbed the edge control, lashes, a new lipstick, earrings, glosses, Got2b spray, and some accessories for Erik’s hair before meeting him at the counter.

It took him all of two seconds to pay for your beauty supply store addiction and you were off on your way back to the crib to love on him.

Erik was currently standing behind you while you sat in the chair in his old large tshirt and held down the wig to the Ghost Bond glue.

You were talking him through helping you finish the install because you just didn't have the energy to do it.

“Okay you gon’ take a lil piece and wrap it around the wand. But please be careful baby. This one goes from like 0 to a 400 degrees so fast.” you warn and watch in the mirror as he takes the first piece and follows your instructions.

You watch him for a while focusing on your head and asking if you liked the way that it’s turning out. You smile softly at him and nod.

“I'm so grateful , you know. “ you say to him with a pout

“Damn, I was just about to send you a do you like me back yes or no text after this too.” he jokes and you shake your head.

“I’m tryna be serious and appreciate you-” you are cut off by him leaning down and pushing his plump lips out for a kiss from you

“I love you too. 2 more weeks and I get to have my two babies in my arms. What more could I want? ”

Tag list: @doublesidedscoobysnacks

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(Long post. Sorry I'm still learning how to do the read more thing! Sorry for being gone from here for so long. This one really helped me ease back into writing especially after how much love the first one received!)

[stereostevie]

When you think of grunge, do you picture a bunch of long-haired White guys in plaid shirts, singing about teenage angst and self-loathing? Time to expand that viewpoint. Standing above them all should be Tina Bell, a tiny Black woman with an outsized stage presence, and her band, Bam Bam. It’s only recently that the 1980s phenom has begun to be recognized as a godmother of grunge.

This modern genre’s sound was, in many ways, molded by a Black woman. The reason she is mostly unknown has everything to do with racism and misogyny. Looking back at the beginnings of grunge, with the preconception that “everybody involved” was White and/or male, means ignoring the Black woman who was standing at the front of the line.

Bam Bam was formed as a punk band in 1983 in Seattle. Bell, a petite brown-skinned spitfire with more hairstyle changes than David Bowie, sang lead vocals and wrote most of the lyrics. Her then-husband Tommy Martin was on guitars (the band’s name is an acronym of their last names: Bell And Martin), Scotty “Buttocks” Ledgerwood played bass, and Matt Cameron was on drums. Cameron would leave the band in its first year and go on to fame as the drummer for Soundgarden and Pearl Jam. But he paid homage to his beginnings by wearing a Tina Bell T-shirt in a photoshoot for Pearl Jam’s 2017 Anthology: the Complete Scores book.

“For some reason a couple of skinheads are up front, calling her [the N-word] And all of the sudden, Bell grabs a microphone stand and she starts swirling it around her head like a lasso… She swung that fuckin’ thing around her head and about the fourth time, she smashed that son of a bitch.”

Bam Bam’s sound straddled the line between punk and something so new that it didn’t have a name yet. Their music combined a driving, thrumming bass line; downtuned, sludgy guitars; thrashy, pulsing drums; melodic vocals that range from sultry to haunting to screamy; and lyrics about the existential tension of trying to exist in a world not designed for you. The band’s 1984 music video for their single “Ground Zero” is low-budget, but Bell’s charisma seeps through.

“She was fucking badass. That’s all there is to it. She was amazing as a performer. I’ve only seen one White male lead singer command the stage in a similar way that Tina Bell did, and that was Bon Scott of AC/DC,” says Om Johari, who attended Bam Bam shows as a Black teenager in the ’80s and who would go on to lead all-female AC/DC cover band Hell’s Belles.

Christina King, a Seattle scenester who was close friends with Bell from 1984 until the early ’90s, says the singer’s talent was obvious. But she believes a lot of people dismissed Bell as a gimmick.

Among those attending their shows: Future members of grunge bands like Nirvana (Kurt Cobain did a stint as a Bam Bam roadie), Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, and Pearl Jam.

“I remember one person saying to me that they didn’t get ‘the whole Black girl singer thing,’ it just didn’t fit whatever they were into,” says King. “They were too ahead of their time.”

Bam Bam came into being in an era when hundreds of underground clubs, taverns, bars, and social halls — anywhere that you could cram in a band — were within the Seattle city limits. Bam Bam played almost all of them, and often to big crowds: The Colourbox, Crocodile Lounge, Gorilla Gardens, Squid Row — just to name a few.

Among those attending their shows: Future members of history-making grunge bands like Nirvana (Kurt Cobain did a stint as a Bam Bam roadie), Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, and Pearl Jam. Not to mention all the other people, mostly White and male, who would become prime targets for music labels trying to market this new sound.

Bell “already possessed everything they were trying to attain. She had a truer rock and roll spirit than almost any of those guys in that town. Everything they tried to do, she naturally was,” says Ledgerwood, still a loyal bandmate.

One Seattle club, The Metropolis, became “like our fucking living room,” says Ledgerwood. It was also the site of an overtly racist verbal assault against Tina Bell.

“For some reason a couple of skinheads are up front, calling her [the N-word],” Ledgerwood recalls. “And all of the sudden, Bell grabs a microphone stand and she starts swirling it around her head like a lasso… She swung that fuckin’ thing around her head and about the fourth time, she smashed that son of a bitch… She nailed that fucker right in the temple of his head. Split like a melon. And the other guy next to him caught it too, they go down, and we’re like, ‘What the fuck?’”

Ledgerwood says that after going backstage for a while to regroup, Bell came back “and put out the most blistering set of our fucking career.”

This could easily be an anecdote about Bell’s power, her resilience, and willingness to fight back against oppressive forces. But it’s also a story about the cost of being a Black woman who does something that some people don’t expect or approve of.

“She’s being pulled out of her zone because somebody is acknowledging how the rest of the world can see her,” says Johari, empathizing with the star rocker. “And even to react to it by picking up a microphone and smashing someone in the face, that means that that incident cost her not only that moment it takes to get back into the song, but the whole [effects of her] action will last for weeks.

“She’ll replay that over and over and over and over again. And then the people she sees that were there when it happened, they’re gonna come up to her and they’re gonna forget everything that she’s saying, all the stuff that she had did, and they’re only going to focus on, ‘I was at that show where you knocked a dude in the head for calling you an N-word,’” Johari says. “It has nothing to do with her artistry. But it reminds her of the way in which she has to be prepared, just in case it happens again.”

King remembers Bell also felt that some of the other men in the band’s changing lineup failed to treat her as an equal partner: “She’s getting that from her own band members — what do you think audience people are like?”

A European tour in the late ’80s gained Bam Bam international fans, but ended after Bell and Martin split up, and Bell was caught in an immigration enforcement dragnet in the Netherlands.

When they returned to the Pacific Northwest, Bam Bam continued playing shows until 1990, when Bell abruptly quit as they were packing up to head to the studio in Portland, Ore.

“She had just had enough,” Ledgerwood says. “For almost eight years she had almost literally eviscerated herself for the audience.”

But that work never resulted in the national recognition they deserved.

“Grunge, whatever that means, is being identified as from your community, your colleagues, your sound that you were a participant in help shaping, and you’re not even mentioned in any of it.”

“Sometimes you need to be a little bit of an asshole to protect yourself. And Bell wasn’t much of an asshole,” Ledgerwood adds. “She was a pure-hearted person and had a really hard time believing that people couldn’t accept her over something as stupid as race.”

Bell didn’t just quit the band, she withdrew from music completely, says her son, Oscar-winning documentary filmmaker TJ Martin. Not out of resentment, he adds, but perhaps to escape the painful reminders that the music she helped pioneer was now earning other bands multimillion-dollar record contracts.

“Grunge, whatever that means, is being identified as from your community, your colleagues, your sound that you were a participant in help shaping, and you’re not even mentioned in any of it,” Martin says. “I can’t even fathom what that would feel like for it to be sort of spit back in your face with such frequency.”

Ledgerwood believes Bell died of a broken heart. But when Bell died alone in her Las Vegas apartment in 2012, the official cause of death listed was cirrhosis of the liver. She had struggled with alcohol and depression. Her son says the coroner estimated her time of death as a couple weeks before her body was discovered. She was 55 years old.

The things that could have told Tina Bell’s story in her own voice are lost. Martin arrived in Las Vegas to find that the contents of his mother’s apartment — except for a DVD player, a poster, and a chair — had been thrown away. All of her writings — lyrics, poems, diaries — along with Bam Bam music, videos, and other memorabilia — went in the trash without her family even being notified.

If you think you were in Seattle in the ’80s, in the grunge scene, and you don’t remember Tina Bell and Bam Bam, you probably weren’t really fucking there.

“I couldn’t help draw a parallel between her not being respected and seen in the first chapter of her life, as the front person of a punk band, and then even in death being disrespected and not being seen for the merits of the life she lived,” says Martin.

Bell’s death is also an indictment of the way she was written out of her own story. The way grunge’s almighty gatekeepers chose to look through her instead of at her. Grunge became the domain of alienated young White men in flannel shirts, and Tina Bell didn’t fit the narrative they were trying to sell.

“Black herstory can suffer immense amounts of erasure if somebody is not brave enough to ensure that women get counted,” Johari says.

To many of those who were part of the scene at the time, the amnesia seems intentional. Ledgerwood brings up the seminal history of Seattle’s grunge era, Everybody Loves Our Town. In it, the author refers to Bam Bam as a three-piece instrumental band mainly notable because Matt Cameron was the drummer. Tina Bell isn’t even mentioned.

“How in the hell would he have a recollection of how great Bam Bam and its drummer was, and not this unbelievably beautiful woman, this firecracker, this explosive rock and roll goddess?” Ledgerwood asks. “Even if he thought she sucked, to not remember the only Black woman on the whole fuckin’ scene is — well, it’s like that old joke about the ’60s: If you think you were in Seattle in the ’80s, in the grunge scene, and you don’t remember Tina Bell and Bam Bam, you probably weren’t really fucking there.”

You can listen to more of Bam Bam’s music on this Spotify playlist. A vinyl album with the band’s songs is coming out this year on Bric-a-Brac Records.

[thecorvidrotation]

I posted 508 times in 2022

18 posts created (4%)

490 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

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I tagged 507 of my posts in 2022

#queue - 323 posts

#ronan - 173 posts

#gansey - 169 posts

#fanart - 149 posts

#text - 142 posts

#adam - 95 posts

#blue - 90 posts

#quote - 69 posts

#td3 - 63 posts

#declan - 58 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#adam: well as reluctant group-appointed dark chess entity. apparently. i decree that the first person to make sand chess hell gets 20 points

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

professionally (librarian) the trc misinformation trend unnerves me but personally. personally. it is so fucking funny oh my god

9 notes - Posted July 4, 2022

#4

dammit i heard a song the other day that made me feel ronan-feral and now i cannot for the life of me remember what it was

12 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

#3

probably gonna be a month before i get my hands on Greywaren so i’m gonna just say meaningless generalities about the dreamer trilogy that i can’t actually know or prove.

17 notes - Posted October 22, 2022

#2

i was rereading some of my old posts on a whim and now I’ve made myself deeply emotional about Gansey and his friends because like... I said once how in TRB, Ronan and Adam have this interesting dynamic where they still don’t seem to actually like each other very much, yet they understand each other much better than Gansey appears to understand either of them. I think there’s mutual recognition that they are each, at their cores, uncompromising; mutual comprehension that they can’t be shaped into anything other than what they are or (in Adam’s case especially) what they want to be. 

Adam and Ronan don’t appear to like each other much in TRB, but they respect each other – and Gansey respects them no less! He cares deeply about his friends, he trusts them more than anyone else, and he feels the least himself when he’s forced away from them. Gansey’s respect and love for his friends is undeniable.

Yet, he’s perpetually running headlong into their uncompromising natures. 

And it’s not that he’s unaware of who his friends are, it’s not that he’s consciously trying to force them to be what they’re not. No, what’s kicking me in the heart today is that “fixing things,” smoothing things over and making it all look okay, is how Gansey was taught to care. 

Gansey’s first instinct, always, whether it’s his own actions or someone else’s life, is to reduce the amount of fuss and commotion. This is his anxiety and his masking, this is how his WASP family operates. “Fixing” the problem without actually addressing the cause, hiding the issue, smoothing things over for polite company, minimizing the impact, that IS the way the Ganseys show that they care. WASPs are deeply subtextual in how they express a lot of feelings (source: knowing my WASP-adjacent mom for my whole life and still learning how to correctly interpret her many layers of subtext). Care is often implicit, communicated quietly through actions but rarely expressed outright. 

The difference between Gansey and his family is that his family fundamentally doesn’t understand him, making their care for him very abstract at best and disconnected from the reality of who he is, while Gansey’s love for his friends is deep and true. When Gansey tries to “fix” Adam or Ronan’s lives, he’s not being his parents in intention – he’s NOT merely trying to sweep the truth under the rug to hide something difficult from polite company. He is truly, genuinely, attempting to help, and he means well. But he still emulates his parents’ in actions, because it’s what he knows how to do. 

And that’s where the critical miscommunication lies: Because Gansey’s friends can’t see gestures that so run counter to who they are as expressions of care, and Gansey can’t (yet) recognize that he’s copying the same behaviors that have made him feel so stifled in his own family. And thus his confusion and anxiety, as his gestures are rejected, is genuine as well.

95 notes - Posted September 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

there’s almost no way that Stief would leak major top-shelf plot spoilers on social media because (1) that’s unhinged (2) Scholastic’s publicity team WILL hunt her for sport over it if she did, but the implications of Adam asking Ronan if he’s the Lace NOT being a major plot spoiler are still absolutely BANANAS. like good golly what’s the wild ride we’re gonna go on just to get to the point where Adam feels like he has to ask that and it’s NOT EVEN the cornerstone of the plot???? cannot wait to absolutely lose it reading this book.

123 notes - Posted July 2, 2022

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