#light exercise is better
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#endometriosis#pcos#just twenty or thirty minutes a day!#it makes all the difference#light exercise is better#may not be true for everyone with PCOS but try it out#see if it works for you#pcossupport#it is helping inflammation and depression for me#also fatigue#no weight loss yet but we will see with time
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Had a bit of a crisis over trying to draw Boba, so I did the adult thing and did some face studies. Learned a lot, hopefully some of it sticks
#mainly I learned that contrast-y shadows freak me out; I muddy up my colours super fast and easy#and that I REALLY need to learn some colour theory for good this time#also sketching needs to happen more. MUCH more - that was supposed to be the point of this exercise -.-#temuera morrison#boba fett#commander cody#captain rex#I really liked the lighting on that Cody pic but if I were to draw him before Rex I'd never live it down okay??#face study#star wars fanart#my art#the clone wars#tcw fanart#I'm still not any better at drawing Boba with hair and keeping him looking like himself... which I should have seen coming but...#gotta double down on work now I ran out of my warm up paintings#clone portraits#Tem clones
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no idea if youre into p5 at all but,, could i get a ryukita (ryuji/yusuke),,,, they are very important to me
hi so after 13 business months manager has finally gotten to the. suggestion box. i hope you enjoy and rate 5 stars
#assk#inprisonforsparkling#persona 5#p5#ryuji sakamoto#yusuke kitagawa#ryukita#arttag#boot.tingting#// i was supposed to color all of these but my hand was out of wack and i drew too small to use markers oops#// but it was a good exercise though im glad to break out and actually draw something else#// yknow i dont really get the concept of shipping anymore or something but i like pair of besties#// i mean if we're using ship names like kpop idol duo names then i guess we could be in the same boat AHAHA#// edit: i couldnt sleep so i colored it in digitally HAH#// scrambling to salvage this iphone6 with a marginally better camera than this current gen ANDROID. i need more light
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i mean it in the best way possible (to u) but wow from what u've been posting ur uni friends sound like fucking cunts. hope it gets better :/
haha well, yeah no i agree with you
the thing is it's not really uni friends. those just either don't reply or reply that they're busy when it's about something esle than school, they're clear with us that they have their own friend groups they value more and outside of the university setting we don't really keep in touch too much. i mean i tried befriending one girl but it eventually backfired at me so i decided it's not worth to spend my time and health on that
the thing that's happening lately is with people i have known before for ~5 years out of which one of them is my rommate. and only around january/february this year it started becoming clear what we stand on. that's probably why the whole thing is so frustrating to me now, especially that situationship with my roommate/best friend that we ended up in. it's such a complicated and multilayered situation at this point that it's just simply more tiring than upsetting
but in any case thanks for nice words, i hope it gets better too
#the psychologist lady im meeting for personalized development exercises told me the same actually#she was like okay you're upset that they don't value you as much but do you really want to stay friends with people like who don't#the problem is that it's not that easy because i don't have anyone esle here. like at all#so my takeaway from that was that since at least when it's all good i have people around me then it's better than having no one no matter#whether it's good or bad#and when it's bad i can always type down all my annoyance into the void that is my tungle dot com blog#it's not the same as having a friend to talk about it with but it's not that awful option either i guess lol#ive been working on myself a lot this semester so im now viewing it all in a different light than those 6 months ago#and im really starting to thing that the fault for how im feeling in all on this doesn't really lie entirely on my side#because they really could've just been better friends. and people in general i suppose#but i still deeply care about them and that's probably why it's so frustrating#think* not thing goddammit autocorrect
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Exercised 1 (one) time and am bedridden
#tbh may not be from the exercise lol#but I can't think of any bad foods I ate to cause this#anyway I've only had appetite for watermelon today and still ended up throwing it up 💔#my husband and roommates are being angels and helping with kiddos so I can catch as much horizontal time and toilet time as I need#i hope that whatever is going on my baby is still okay :(#10ish weeks#it was light exercise because I knew better than to push myself since it's been a while#genuinely looking forward to when I can push myself again and get some gains. maybe in 1 year...
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oh nooo that's quite a bummer :( but i'm very glad that i helped brightening up your day :") tbh your writing brightens up my day too (≧▽≦)
AND WAIT I'VE BEEN ACTUALLY QUITE THINKING ABOUT WHETHER ZOMBIE MOB HAS FOUGHT OFF A ZOMBIE WHEN I ASKED IF HE HAS EVER BITTEN SOMEONE and since you brought it up, well, would be okay to ask about the details of how it went 👁️👁️ (also him fighting off a fellow zombie to protect tome got me sobbing)
- 🪻
aww im glad my silly little words brighten ur day!! ur so sweet :]
and yes, it went horribly <3! tome prolly wasn't paying attention as closely as she should've been and got herself surrounded by a crowd. to be clear, that's not Always dangerous, since zombies arent like,, after ur brains in this constantly. but these zombies did look quite hungry, and human or not, she looked like a good meal,,
she had wandered off a bit from mob n ritsu, but mob heard the commotion first. tome has a big fucking baseball bat in this au that she likes to swing around, but a baseball bat can only get u so far in terms of self defense. she thins the horde but there's simply too many of them
mob lets exactly One zombie grab her and yank her toward them before he goes ballistic
watching zombies fight is a lot closer to watching wild animals fight than anything else, and it gets quite horrid sometimes. since their bites aren't rly "dangerous" to each other beyond the typical Oh No a Chunk of Flesh is Gone (not even painful for them, since their nerves r.. less than functional), the fight is a lot more close up and gruesome than a fight against a zombie and a human would be. humans usually back away from zombies immediately and try not to touch them at all in fear of getting bitten; zombies don't need to care abt that
most of the horde realizes that this meal isn't going to be easy and they wander off, but a few more hungry, more desperate ones try to rip into mob's throat at the first sign of defiance. it's not exactly a fair fight; it's like 1 against 4, so he's sorta bound to lose
thankfully ritsu shows up and shoots two of them down (he's Terrified of shooting mob by accident, but either way he'll probably die, so) and tome gets the last one with a good swing to the head. ritsu rushes to mob and is horrified by the amount of blood dripping from his neck and his arm; tome is equally as shocked, but she's mostly thinking, "ive Never seen a zombie defend a human before"
mob's neck is thankfully mostly just scraped up and clawed, but there Is some gruesome punctures where canines sank in and tugged. it's a lot worse along his arm that's bitten and gouged beyond belief. he loses a lot of blood here, but the whole nerves-no-longer-work thing is a blessing in disguise atm; he'd be in a lot of pain otherwise. while ritsu and tome are patching him up w shaky hands he simply glares beyond their shoulders like he thinks he's still in danger, even when they tighten the bandages. it's like he barely notices what they’re doing
his strangely alert behavior makes them think abt the possibility that maybe mob Knows he could've easily been shredded apart there, and he's a little scared and worked up abt it. the only reason he managed to fight as long as he did without dying is prolly bc the other zombies weren't as well-fed as mob—they were kinda weak and shaky from days of no food, but mob has humans taking care of him and keeping him fed 24/7
they're all shaken up by it pretty good.. tome is still reeling from the fact that mob defended her so valiantly, and ritsu is quietly horrified by the idea of another zombie killing mob instead of a human. he doesn't know which is worse
#qktalks#anon#zombie au#this isn't the first time ritsu has had to kill a zombie btw ^#this is just the first time he's had to kill one since he started seeing zombies in a different light#it was either letting his brother die or killing a zombie. ritsu's upset that he had to make that decision at all#but he's not afraid to say that the decision was incredibly easy to make#it sucks that he had to kill one but . for mob ? literally anything goes#ritsu checked tome over after they took care of mob too. tome's very surprised when he's rly gentle abt it#ritsu's been known to .. lose his head a little in moments of stress#and sometimes he snaps at tome bc of it. he never means to he's just..worked up#but this time he's kinda fretting over her and it opens her eyes a little bit#ritsu has indeed grown to care abt tome a lot. they bicker Most of the time but it's usually not very serious#in all the excitement tome just hadn't rly realized that until now. ritsu is so high-strung that it's hard to get a read on his softer side#but now he's not just directing his softer side to his brother‚ but to tome as well#i have 15 more tags to explain smth i wanna make clear btw let's hope i don't start rambling abt smth else entirely#so i've been using a lot of vocabulary in these au posts that hint toward mob being ''special'' or ''abnormal'' in his behavior#he is not special or abnormal in any way#Every zombie is like that. every zombie has a personality‚ and a gentler demeanor hidden behind that desperate starvation#and remnants of their past selves in there somewhere#mob is simply one of the only zombies that have been taken in and cared for and treated like a sick person rather than a monster#as i've said before most people just.. either run away or shoot them between the eyes when crossing paths with a zombie#they don't give any of them a Chance. mob is a very very lucky zombie.#he is healthier than most other zombies and he is treated far better#and the way ritsu constantly talks to him is actually great for his health ! gets those rusty gears in his head rollin#exercises that brain‚ even if‚ to ritsu‚ he's only responding in odd gibberish#that's only one of the things ritsu gives him that other zombies never receive in their lifetimes#i'd say mob prolly ? has one of the longest ''zombie lifespans''#most zombies either die of starvation‚ dehydration‚ or sleep deprivation within a few weeks#he's lived a long zombie life !
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Me: I should probably clean my room, unpack, find my laptop and finish the work tasks that were due yesterday
Also me: I think I'm going to hot glue flowers, vines, and ribbons to a basket instead :)
#no my room is so bad it even hurts my chronically messy soul#i moved back in with my parents in May and im terrible at unpacking#so everything is just strewn about because i just pulled shit out of boxes when i needed them and never put them anywhere productive#and i just got back from my summer camp job. i still need to digitize my inventory and write my closing report#it was supposed to be done before i left camp but i convinced them to let me do it by monday#today is tuesday#part of the reason i havent done it is because my laptop is lost in this mess#last thing im procrastinating is ren faire prep#truly its not much prep just adding vines and flowers to a basket and needing to try on my whole outfit#and practice my makeup and hair#makeup will be light bcuz i dont know how to do makeup#so im just doing some lipstick and glittery highlight#and i need to figure out what to do with my hair. i have a tiara that i might see about fastening into the braids#or i may braid ribbons into my hair. gotta test to see whoch one i like better#i am so fucking excited for ren faire bcuz im going with my gf and some of her friends#im so excited to meet her friends and spend time with her outside of the summer camp we worked at together#AND im going to do her hair and she asked me to braid ribbons into her hair so im so excited#i just need to practice some braids to figure out how i want to do her hair and practice braiding in ribbons#i fucking love doing hair and i cant wait to do hers. ive done single strand braods for her before BUT#she has long beautiful hair and ive been wanting to try more braids on her and i think i have an idea of what i want to do#but instead of doing anything productive. i am sitting in bed. doing nothing#(spoiler alert its because every time i leave camp i get treated to a terrible depressive episode)#(its because i lose the routine and sunshine and exercise and social aspect of camp probably)#(now worsened by the terrible state of my room and the passing of one of my rats while i was at camp that i just learned about)#anyway im doing fine. gonna go do something now ig
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Sending love from one depressive spiral to another.
One thing that's helped me, as I'm coming out of this one, was getting my friends to pick prompts for me (to write in my case) which I then committed to filling BADLY. Because sometimes intending to create stuff that is just dumb and shit, means it doesn't mind that my brain tells me that it's dumb and shit because I'm like "yes brain, I know, that was the brief" and then before you know it you're back in the creating zone again
Tldr: commit to being shit. 🤷♀️
Hello, thank you! Depression is a little shithead because it takes different forms for everybody and sometimes warps depending on the circumstances so even when i think i have a handle on it and can prepare for gaps in my exercise routine that keeps me functional....something will happen and throw me for a loop and im back to struggling. For me, when im like this, that constant voice in my head drowning out everything else - and i mean everything - saying 'you're worthless, this is pointless' over and over and over and over is almost paralyzing. Try writing a cover letter when your brain is telling you that you are probably the most useless person ever and you cant see anything even remotely good about yourself. Its why i have friends proofread if i make any major changes to my generic letter content. Especially this one friend who has the same problem - he cant sell himself, i literally can hear him talk himself in circles into thinking he's old and washed up and not valuable on the market anymore - and i cant sell myself. But i think he's the most amazing talented person ever, and he's never said it but im pretty sure he thinks similar of me, so we check each others work pitches to make sure they sound suitably enthusiastic and glowing. Ive had other people also read my letters but if they dont understand how depression can sit on the brain and make it impossible to write this shit, they dont quite know how to help me. While my one friend who gets it knows that he needs to tell me 'hey, you left out this very important vital contribution to that one project, dumbass' (only nicer lol). So i have one very happy sounding, very aggrandizing letter that i tailor to wherever im sending it. But thats all stuff i need to do. Its vital, its a requirement, i can force myself to sit down and do it.
Personal art isnt exactly a requirement. So instead of making myself sit down and do it, i can just lie on the floor feeling numb and wish i dont exist anymore 🙃
#This isnt a constant state of being btw#And i know it will pass even if this right now is the worst its been in a while#I can already feel it getting better and todays run helped#I need to feel needed again really is what it comes down to#and i miss working with people i miss having a team#And doing what i know i can do and have been working in for over a decade#After every let down i just keep going because i know that that is what im working to get back to#my dad has this too and i think the biggest failure of his generation is being unable to talk about this shit#like i watched my dad go through this and quite often i was his one link to the world family members would talk to me instead of him#because he was so checked out. still functioning at work but with no energy left for anything else.#dad was the reason i figured out exercise was a factor#the only time I could get him leave the house was either the tennis club or grocery shopping#and i think i was around 13 ish when i realized that my brain became sluggish and weird and depressed during vacations#and it was because i quit my usual gym exercise routines#i have never missed longer than a few weeks ever since#i am not kidding about that by the way running multiple times a week every week for over two decades now#except for that knee injury in 2021 when i think i missed 6 months but did light dance routines since i couldn't run#but this sinking void of self hatred im in now is what i am forever running from#anyway but it never occurred to my dad that his daughter may struggle from the same issues
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#listen#I know you guys all love to see her happy and I do too#but that is simply NOT a good cover objectively like…. it looks like a mediocre fan edit sksnfnfngng#NOT A KNOCK AT MY BUDDIES WHO ALL DO AMAZING EDITS (better than this cover tbh)#but come ON#the layout is awful!! no balance at all it’s all over the place#the photoshop job is terrible#she looks absolutely adorable and I know it’s blinding a lot of you#but even the wierd fake bob has me like ??????#COMMIT OR DONT#I will say ON THE OTHER HAND#the original cover is so iconic#her most recognizable cover ever that was the most high concept best use of mixed media (barely but it qualifies)#launched a whole AESTHETIC#so I totally see why the exercise in even trying to do a modern take on it is totally foolish and it would look terrible no matter what#so to go in a totally new direction is just the only option she had#I just wish the direction had been well….. more thoughtful#it’s an adorable photo of her but it belongs in the inside or needs a different design structure to accommodate it#THE SEAGULLS LOOK TERRIBLE WHY ARE THEY SO IN FOCUS AND DISPROPORTIONATE#THE LIGHT ON HER AND THE SEAGULLS ARE COMING FROM COMPLETELY DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS#THIS IS BASIC ART 101 LIKE WHAT YOU LEARN IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL#anyway hater moment over#I was just shocked at how shitty it was made like GIRL YOU HAVE MONEY HIRE SOMEONE GOOD
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that moment when you really need to watch something cheerful but your watchlist is just crime dramas mixed with action thrillers 😐
#i'm so tired of crying i decided it's time to escape to a fictional world#i'm on a period and that explains why everything annoys me and makes me cry. but this time it's boosted#i've been looking forward to meeting my friend and family on the weekend but now i want to cry when i think of getting out of bed#i think i will clean up my room and exercise tomorrow to feel better....#and meet my friend in the evening#and if i still feel shitty in the morning then i just won't go to a family dinner....#ah i really want to forget about everything#sorry i've been so inactive here but tbh i feel like shit and my anxiety levels are through the roof#3 of my coworkers asked me if something happened bc i looked so bad#which only annoyed me lmaoooo but anyway. i will be fine soon i just need to be dramatic first etc.#i'm kissing you all#k.txt#btw if any of you have any drama recs pls send them my way. i just need something light that's also not a straight romance...
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HOW OFTEN ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO RANDOMLY BE IN PAIN
#I often have pain in my lungs for 20 minutes to a few hours at a time#Like once or twice a week but some months it's more and some it's less#And I sometimes also get a random ache in my heart but that's less frequent#I also often have shin pain but I am holding out hope that that's just due to a lack of exercise and will get better when I move more#Also frequent headaches but I know that's because of light sensitivity
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yo past me was so big brained ok so I ran out of insulin today and when I went to the pharmacy to get more, they told me that the prescription that my doctor was SUPPOSED to have given them LAST MONTH didn't get to them and my most recent prescription ran out of refills (I hate this system so much). So I need to wait until tomorrow morning to call them and get them to send the prescription AGAIN. anyway I only have like 15 units left (this is very little) and I was already planning how I was going to minimize the damage but theeeeeeennnn I looked in like...the deepest corners of my fridge and found a single vial of the Walmart brand insulin that sucks dick that I forgot I had. I bought one in case of an emergency like a year ago and this is truly the most prepared I've ever been in my life I feel like I received a magic boon from a distant ancestor right before the final fight.
#walmart insulin sucks because it's like....1960s tier insulin#so I have to be super strict with my diet and there's a very strict schedule I have to follow when I'm on it#as opposed to modern insulin like humalog or novolog where I can be a normal human with near-zero inhibitions#but whatever it's better than literally consuming crushed up vitamins and water for dinner and then doing light exercise for 5 hours str8#which is what I was going to have to do without this shit tier insulin discovery
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Ok actual real goal of my forever is to build a life where I'm doing so many things daily (or regularly) that support my mental health that I no longer need antidepressants. I know they're essential to me for the time being cause the alternative is - not something I want to talk about - but I think with the right, highly focused combination of habits I can support myself drug-free.
#for example#apparently with a certain (duration/frequency/intensity) of exercise you can equal or better the impact of antidepressants#i need to follow up cause i only saw this in a video by a licensed psych doctor but id like my own look at the evidence#plus there are a ton of things you can do (or not do) that demonstrably support your mental health when done (or avoided) with regularity#ive always know meds are essentially the pilot light of my coping/recovery but i always struggle with the follow thru#the aim is to use the springboard of medication to help build a lifestyle that truly supports and nourishes me to the point that its#self-sustaining#i do believe it's possible. i just havent landed on the right combo of help+effort yet#august talking#mental health
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I love interior decorating on the sims but I’m absolute shit at building so all of my builds are the most godawful ugly buildings you’ve ever seen with rooms scattered around haphazardly but you bet that those rooms are fantastic
#i always forget about windows until the end and it’s a fucking mess#doesn’t help that I get bored and jump around#so I can never just build the whole thing and THEN decorate#sims 4#this is why I always get builds from the gallery#but i like to build stuff from my writing to help me visualize it#and i already got an idea what it looks like so changing it would frustrate me too much#i need a personal sims builder I can commission that works off their own enjoyment#closest I got is having my brother set up the lighting lmao#(which I’m also shit at)#the only reason I’m even building now is cuz ea themselves isn’t all that great at builds#and I’ve been wanting to redesign copperdale high school for a while#got a whole basketball court and Pool and exercise room#and classrooms for each subject they do#and a better library and music room#and a counselors office that’s purely aesthetic#just wish I could build better lol
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im literally only on day 2 of me trying to do better this year but I can definitely confirm: if you feel sad/out of sorts/general malaise and despair, PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN. go outside and touch some grass. walk through your neighborhood (or run, if you want an extra endorphin boost). be reminded of the world you are immediately a part of and the places you can see whenever you want. do it for like 45 minutes and then come back and read a book. idk it might fix you!!!!
#this is based solely on me having a good day for 1.5 days#and limiting my screen time#I love the blonde woman but reading/knitting/exercising/TALKING TO YOUR LOVED ONES#is so much better for my mental health tbh#note to self#also it’s okay if you don’t live somewhere glamorous#I walk by a limo rental company and a traffic light and my street is full of potholes!#but then I get to some trees and everything feels nice
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every time i see people talking about how taking walks is good for their mental health i just know that we are in different worlds
#cro zone#being disabled is so. funny. youre just like cut off from 'the human experience' as its colloquialized#the thing is i totally get why it makes you feel better! its light exercise that takes you outside in daylight and nature#and you connect with your environment and your community.#im just. jealous bc i cant do that. taking a walk harms me badly
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