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#ive been working on myself a lot this semester so im now viewing it all in a different light than those 6 months ago
drysauce · 2 months
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i mean it in the best way possible (to u) but wow from what u've been posting ur uni friends sound like fucking cunts. hope it gets better :/
haha well, yeah no i agree with you
the thing is it's not really uni friends. those just either don't reply or reply that they're busy when it's about something esle than school, they're clear with us that they have their own friend groups they value more and outside of the university setting we don't really keep in touch too much. i mean i tried befriending one girl but it eventually backfired at me so i decided it's not worth to spend my time and health on that
the thing that's happening lately is with people i have known before for ~5 years out of which one of them is my rommate. and only around january/february this year it started becoming clear what we stand on. that's probably why the whole thing is so frustrating to me now, especially that situationship with my roommate/best friend that we ended up in. it's such a complicated and multilayered situation at this point that it's just simply more tiring than upsetting
but in any case thanks for nice words, i hope it gets better too
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hpdfag · 10 days
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IM SO GLAD YOURE GOING TO SEE MITSKI??? I’ve always wanted to see her, but she usually doesn’t come to Italy…she did come but I was seeing SKZ that day </3 I love concerts so much! Big concerts can seem scary, but if you’re seated down they’re pretty calm…if you’re standing though, it can be overwhelming at times! But to me all of that adds up to the experience. As someone who’s super autistic, they don’t feel as overwhelming as they probably should, but more…soothing. Make sure to arrive early! Even if you don’t get front row spots, it’s still an amazing experience :} I saw a lot of vids from her tour and she’s really an amazing performer, so you’ll have a great time…also, make sure to bring a lot of water!!
I understand school is so stressful and all… WhatI do when school starts, since I myself hate school and all about it, is trying to romanticise it! I try to get into these wonyougism and study stuff and feeling like an academic weapon…wether I’m failing or not! I just start to feel organized and proud of myself, but of course, that’s hard. So good luck with school!!! You’ll do well, I’m sure…
About the dysphoria thing…I really get it. Sometimes I do cave in and try to change my bodily appearance to resemble my IRL sources! Not sure how to call it. But yes, it’s really painful…I’ve started to view my human body as an “avatar” for my real self, which isn’t super satisfactory of course, but it makes me feel a bit less dysphoric. Of course, I’d love for it to be just like how I remember my soul, but for now let’s…just customise it in a fun way, like a character of some way. This might be more understood if you’re a system, which well you are…I hope I could help a bit with these words, I’m sure you need someone to hear you sometimes :} I hope you’re having a good day!!
- 🧶
YESYESYES IM SUPER EXCITED !!! we got the tickets at the end of last year so ive been waiting for this for so long .... it should be seated as well which is good!! ive only ever been to concerts where im able to sit its like. a requirement almost. i dont have anywhere near the stamina required to stay standing for hours on end ... and we certainly will be arriving early! portland gets crowded as HELL when there's big events, so we'll probably be taking the train in about an hour before the concert starts. and i'll for sure make sure to bring lots of water, and take my meds before leaving as well. it would suck to end up super thirsty at such a cool event !! v_v
and yeayea i get that, i wish smthn like that cld work for me </3 im just pushing through as best as i can! it's not gonna be perfect and aesthetic but i think thatll be alright. the only course im worried about really is credit recovery for math, since i really need to do well with it or ill get kicked out of online school for real which is. very scary!! i feel the best mentally when im able to do my work at my own pace at home, so i'd hate to have to go back to in person school for the last semester of my high school life ...
and that makes sense, yeah! i typically see this body as just an avatar anyways, considering i see this reality as another iteration of the neo world program. its really comforting and can help me with some of the worst of it, but even still, it feels like playing a character very unlike yourself in a video game if that makes sense? there's a dissociation inherent to it. even though this is my avatar that i can customize however i want, the sliders aren't perfect, and the only options, while cool, are more aesthetically pleasing than affirming.
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madisonrooney · 2 years
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been getting more and more emotionally and socially drained by work. ik people on here joke a lot about like “i hate being perceived and seen and known” and all that but i honestly have felt that way a lot of my life, and when you work in retail, youre constantly in view and being watched yknow? 
sure i went to school for a big chunk of my life but at least in college when the mental illness really started fleshing out, i could just hide in the back of the class on my computer and an entire semester would go by without my classmates learning pretty much anything about me. now its not only customers but coworkers, youll say some embarrassing shit, which isnt uncommon when youre there as many hours as you are since you start to get rambly, and you cant just shrug it off bc guess what youll see them again tomorrow and the next day and the next day...
ive already had to leave early bc of panic attacks on two different occasions. ive already cried while out on the floor. ive already cried in front of multiple leads and managers. and again, you have to face them again and god its humiliating. 
i just constantly find myself needing time in complete isolation and silence to recuperate, but not having much of it. typically, i only have 2-3 hours after i get home to do anything before i go to bed, and it usually takes me that much time just to catch up on my social media. even if i forgo that for a night, with my attention span, i still cant get much of anything done.
plus im typically busy on any and all of my days off
i just. would really love to have like a week where i just do not have to be seen by a single other person, or at least my public outings can be anonymous like shopping or something. i feel my best on days like that. during quarantine, i honestly had no problem not seeing anyone else besides my parents for more than a year. if anything, i got sick of my parents lol. id spend months on end on my own and dont remember having much of a problem at all with it. sure, id want to remotely hang out with friends, but that would feel more comfortable bc i didnt necesarilly have to be on camera and i could end it whenever i wanted to. i remember going 13 days without setting foot out of my front door and i honestly loved it.
anyway im getting off topic. going back to the matter at hand, i guess my brain is just trained to think that im gonna get a “summer break” at some point but i wont. i feel like i need something like that but idk if i can get it. even if i had my own events going on, it would be nice to have a few days in between where i just had nothing going on, which is what my summers used to be like.
bottom line is this doesnt have to do with my job specifically, its just jobs like this in general. i think in serious enough cases, im good at not just taking what i get but getting what i want out of a situation and i would say thats the case here. im not complaining bc i should have a different job and just dont feel like getting one, im complaining bc capitalism is just inherently like this. my job checks all the main boxes for me: i get pretty much all the days off that i want, the hours are late so it works with my whack sleep schedule, and its not a creative job where theres work to take home, it ends at a certain hour and then you dont have to think about it until you come back, which is p much necessary for my ocd. anything beyond those three factors matters much less. so yah, its the best i can get all things considered, but it still has its issues.
the one potential thing that could get me less social interaction would be training to work in the back, but i mean id still have to socialize with coworkers, plus ive heard you kinda make your own schedule back there so haha thats a no go for my ocd. it also seems too physical for me.
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luminous-studiess · 4 years
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still studying for one more exam but im hoping to update my study tips/general masterposts on resources that have helped me so far...... but if i could say in a nutshell what helped me (a chronically-ill, mentally-ill, struggling student) last year i would say: 1. keeping a diary religiously to help me process some of the thoughts that i usually bottle up or vent online in unhealthy ways. i started incorporating pastel drawings into it as well. ive been very mindful and peaceful.
2. “deep work” aka not necessarily working longer hours but using work hours ONLY for work 
3. making sure not only to eat regular portions of fruits and vegetables but 2 also take my maintenance medicine + vitamins 4. exercising regularly. light exercise. walks. i hit a fitness goal doing this, and even built up some muscle! more importantly, it helped me feel less sluggish and helped me feel like i could do SOMETHING even on my worst days.
5. building a routine. nothing fancy. often my panic comes from not knowing what to do, so i map out the most urgent tasks and figure out the simplest way to do them. done, not perfect.
6. i set a lot of time for my hobbies. law school is difficult, but i refuse to allow what may be my career to define what i do as an individual. i baked, cooked, played piano, learned to sing, played video games, wrote, watched a lot of animation and did some rigorous drawing practice
7. i reached out to people. there will always be people who love you and are willing to help when you’re in a rut. i would have never survived the semester without my family and the friends who helped me study, work through my little slumps with me, and generally just shared their time and love with me. 8. i learned not to expect too much of myself. it became much much much easier to get by in school, in life, in general when i learned to have a very honest, very measured view of my capabilities. i know i can do some things, and there are some things that i know i can’t do. some things will never be easy. i think learning what my limitations were, in a way, helped ground me-- i realized that all i have to do for now is to do the best i can, with what i have. that’s all we can do.
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how do u handle ur social anxiety? ive been struggling a lot with it lately to the point ive sorta been breaking down and what better way for advice than to ask someone that comforts u (mun[?] too)
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Mun... might have something more useful for you.
aesops way of coping is probably avoidance but we all know that aint the best way aha. anyway this was one ask i could not stop thinking about because i read it n went (john mulaney voice) Huh my anxiety never got so bad till a break down, n then it happened to me a few days later. i do find this funny yes
anyway, the most useful thing ive learnt to handle my social anxiety (not entirely tho but its a good start) is to identify which trains of thought is Social Anxiety tm speaking so u can immediately know those r lies. stuff like Oh they’re laughing at me just as I walk by, they’re laughing at me, or Someone else is here, they probably hate me, I should go somewhere else but I cant, aaaaaaaaaaaaa
(if im not wrong,) usually theyre statements that are along the lines of “they hate you” or “you’re wrong”, n they’re based off an irrational fear of others that can be countered using evidence or, well, logic and rationale. things like “No one is keeping a checklist of your mistakes, you’re literally the only one doing that and scrutinizing each one of them, others dont care so much about these things.” (ive found this to be a very good counterargument to use for a lot of situations so im bolding it) or “You wouldn’t think that if someone else messes up, it should be the same for them. And if they say it isnt a big deal, it probably isnt”. for me i usually keep repeating these more logical explanations n counterarguments to myself to kinda quell the social anxiety voice for a bit. i know there are cases that it doesnt work 100%, but its a good start
n if ur also like me who avoids eating/ getting food cos theres human interaction involved, i kinda try to get my friends to drag me out whenever possible. no shame, even a simple “hey lets drop by the convenience store later so i can grab a snack” is better than starving for like. a day or so. its also cos of this whenever i plan my schedule for the day, i see if i can plan it such that its convenient for me to get food for both lunch and dinner (sorry im not one for breakfast aha). n also i find that if i dont like the food (sorry im a very picky eater), i would rather starve than eat, so now im willing to pay a bit more for food i like n will eat
or just having someone else to talk to about these kinds of things, and kinda having a second opinion of “was that weird of me” or “should i have done that” with someone (ppl give advice better to others than to themselves aha) really helps, i think. u could probably also ask for advice maybe (like this? XD) ((after i had a small meltdown that day i went to my boyfriend’s to complain for an hour n honestly that helped me to release a lot of distressed energy n its better than stewing in it for the rest of the day + i got some advice that i slowly worked on when i was feeling up to it enough))
im also still kinda bad at small talk with strangers, especially ppl whom i just met. i find a small trick to this (that again does not work all the time) is to try to find a relevant topic (background is also fine i guess, depends on context), n as they answer find something about their answer that u can branch off into another topic. it could be a personal anecdote that is remotely related to that topic, it just gives u things to talk about aha (eg someone saw me drawing n commented that one of their friends also draws, n i started talking about how i used to get really bad grades in art class. which wasnt quite the topic but it worked). n when ur ending ur turn to talk, try to have something that the other person can comment on/ answer. having said that, this is hard if the other person is equally awkward/ doesnt give u much to branch off on from their replies (i mean they really only answer your question n rarely elaborates unless prompted. eg “what did you have for lunch?” “pasta.” “oh, what kind?” “carbonara.”). then i say its only as awkward as u make it to be, perhaps u would be better off kinda just sitting together in silence. its not weird unless u make it, n not every moment has to be filled with conversation.
thank u so much for this ask by the way, social anxiety is a huge bitch to have n it sucks extra much that a lot of our fears seem incredibly stupid from a “normal” point of view n we are constantly on edge even if we seem 101% fine cos we’re not fine aha. but just know ur not alone in this, n i hope some of these might have helped. 
i guess i should put some sort of disclaimer here, these r just some of my own personal problems n the solutions i have are mostly for me (maybe except for countering the thoughts), so i understand if they might not work for others. so i kinda recommend just sitting down, identifying which aspects social anxiety is affecting n finding a solution that works for u is kinda the best. try out different methods, if they dont work thats alright, if it does then thats great. it takes a lot of time, admittedly i starved myself for a couple of semesters before i found this solution for myself. it also take a lot of constant effort to counter, n to that i wish u all the best, n good luck in finding methods that work for u <3
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shakingsphere · 5 years
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um i need a distraction so heres a question thing that yall are supposed to send to me but i just answered all of them if ur interested
Alisons: Sexuality?
straight i think
Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?
she/her cis
Amaryllis: Birthday?
january 30th!
Anemone: Favorite flower?
idk what they’re called but these vine type flowers on the side of my porch!
Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?
atla
Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?
depends on the context, definitely nothing where they could take advantage of me
Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?
i hate quotes i can never remember any lmao
Aubrieta: Favorite drink?
.... diet coke
Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
no
Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?
maybe? he didnt love me back
Baneberries: Favorite song?
vienna by billy joel
Basket of Gold: Describe your family.
my parents are nice and supportive but overbearing and judgmental. my dad has a tendency to talk when its not his place and my mom is very jewish. my sister doesnt like me very much and is kind of rude. one of my brothers is really nice and the other is awful
Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?
I dont
Begonia: Favorite color?
green
Bellflower: Favorite animal?
red panda
Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?
night
Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?
a cat
Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
an animator 
Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?
i love kids theyre so cute
Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?
heights bc theyre scary, and unachieving because i dont want to waste my life
Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.
i used to play with ants a lot
Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?  
like if i was conscious it was my last day? i dont even know
Buttercup: Relationship Status?
single :/
Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?
central asia and iran
Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?
when im with my friends and we’re just hanging out
Canna: Do you have any tattoos?  
no ma’am i am a child of god
Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?  
my ear lobes and i want to get my doubles done
California Poppy: Height?  
5′3. it be like that
Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?
yes!!!!!!!!!!!! omg
Carnation: What are you currently wearing?  
a college sweatshirt and pj pants with penguins on them
Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?
when i was little....
Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?  
my friend hannah
Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?
i haven’t...
Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?
um lobster?
Columbine: Are you tired?
yeah lol
Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?
college and moving out of state!!
Coneflower: Dream job?
something where i can use my degree lmao
Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?
i think im an introvert but i also might just have anxiety
Crocus: Have you ever been in love?
maybe?
Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?
i would take a bullet for most of my loved ones
Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?
yes. a tie-dyed teddy bear named tie-dye. he is my husband.
Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?
aquarius
Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?
nothing that people who arent me should remember, but i think our experiences shape us so
Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?
im not dead idk
Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?  
um id probably be upset i care about my parents approval way to much
Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?
my friend hannah again lol
False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?
public speaking!!
Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?
math
Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?
um i met my future roommate, i lost a bit of weight, and i got some cute shorts
Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?
stressful! 
Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?
no
Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?
join my college’s honors program and study in russia
Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?
im not doing this one too tired
Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed? 
xanax 
Hellebore: How do you show affection?
i try to tell ppl they are important to me
Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?
im funny i think
Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.
i wake up at 9:30 its 70 degrees Fahrenheit and i get lunch with some friends and then we hang out for the day
Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?  
im so bad about this all i do is watch youtube and study, but i love to draw and im going to start reading more
Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?
Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?
Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?
Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?
Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?
Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?  
Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?
Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?
Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?
Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?  
Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?
pretty sure its french for clear or bright (depending on the context). my mom just liked it
Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.
im from a suburb of kck. its a nice and safe place to grow up but i wouldnt choose to live here
Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?
nice, but its in the basement so the view is really bad i hate that
Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  
no nope no
Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.
she is very smart and hardworking but very judgmental and a bit inconsiderate. she loves me very much tho
Onions: Tell about your dad.  
he is short and angry. he tends to interrupt me a lot. he is supportive of everything i do. he is stingy about money tho
Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.
my mother’s mom died before i was born, and my i was never close with her father. he died when i was 8. my other grandma has bad dementia and isn’t sure who i am anymore. shes presbyterian but she would send my sister and i dreidels and such for hanukkah. im told i look a lot like her. my grandfather has been very grumpy for as long as ive known him.   
Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?
my 13th. i had an anxiety attack and had to go home early.
Peony: What was your first job?
i was a hostess at a seafood restaurant.
Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?
Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?
i give myself time to process it and then just move forward i guess
Pink: Where is home?
where your sense of belonging is ig idk
Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?
i would have made better grades and quit band in middle school haha 
Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.
Primrose: Describe your ideal life.
i want to be happy with 2 kids and a husband and live below my means but still be comfortable 
Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?
nihil was a philosopher. 
Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?
fuck idk my dog
Rose: What’s your favorite sound?
background noise when your sitting outside
Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?
Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?
Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?
for everything to work out!!!  
St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?
very very hard
Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?
the internet
Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?
8 hours but i overslept
Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?
i have to
Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?
i dont have a job rn and thats bad
Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?
my jeans from uo
Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.  
cool librarian or 90s mom
Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?
160,000 dollars :)
Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?
the cost of college!!!!
Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?
oof like 2. i read Dune, and Slaughterhouse Five
Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?
college! finishing up my first semester
Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?
yeah :( 
Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.
ive been late to ap french almost every day this semester #c’estlavie
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kendal111 · 2 years
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i cant decide anything.
im completely rekt.
that girl fucked me up so bad.
she completely broke my heart into pieces and spit on me.
fuck man, no wonder im having trouble functioning.
cant decide shit for the life of me.
had a decent chance with my crush-
i completely ruined that by trying too hard. I scared her off, AGAIN.
Why didnt i think this through? It makes complete sense why she was over it. I was over it too, it didnt work. I spent too much money, loved her too much. suffocated her and myself. Now it burst into flames and we dont talk at all.
had a chance to do GT-
backed out twice because of how expensive it is. missed out on being in korea. I could be in korea RIGHT NOW. didnt want to do the year in shanghai. didnt want to pay 15k a semester vs 5k a semester. couldnt take advatage of my tuition waiver.
tried to get a studio in town-
backed out and lost my deposit. was too scared to live in that area. too much in the middle of town. 1300 wasted...
had a chance to get a month to month studio-
wasnt good enough for me. too small. wouldve been the perfect temporary place but it wasnt up to my standards.
had a chance to go to a festival-
didnt want to spend 1700 dollars for a weekend. now im feeling FOMO
i have one more chance at a festival. Day.MVS looks like itll be a lot of fun. Total cost: 1,400. just send it please for the love of god. you can always make money back- once in a lifetime experiences are priceless.
i have one more chance to move
its a really nice place in manoa. its like my dream place. ive always wanted to live in manoa again. its perfect. owner out of state, its pretty much its own little unit. everything included in the 1350, except internet. its on a relatively quiet street in the back of manoa. Nice views. I can be as loud as i want. I can cook, I can do anything without having the anxiety of having to make conversation. or anything. Its such a cute little studio.
all i want is my own place where i can have girls over and not worry.
LOL its will getting my own pad motivate me to talk to girls again?
of course it will. its just what you need to get back on your feet again. you cant rely on your dad for the rest of your life. think about Zoe. she would want you to get the studio. think about your mom, she would say go for it. i would sacrifice and chance to intern out of state next year, but do i even really want to?
I just really want a spot to bring girls over.
this is the perfect spot for that.
just think about it- its what you always dreamed of.
the only thing stopping me is the fact that ill be commited to a year long lease if i do it.
My ex says, if i have an opportunity elsewhere and i cant do it because of a lease i might regret it. but will i really?
i need to think hardcore-
where do i see myself in 5 years?
where do i see myself working?
where do i see myself interning next year?
do i even want to intern out of state?
if i do intern out of state-
id have to sell my car or find a place to store it for 900-1200 dollars.
id have to rent a small storage room for my desktop for 300-400 dollars
who know what would happen with my job.
id have to work around that-
I want to keep it, right? I need this job.
shouldve just stuck to being instate from the begining.
i wouldnt have lost 4000 dollars to enrolling in outreach college.
i wouldnt be so wishy washy about moving. wouldnt have all this anxiety about what ifs and could have beens
shouldnt have lost that 1300 dollar deposit.
the only reason why i figure living somewhere else would be cool is because
my ex suggested i try it
my dad suggests i try it
from the beginning, i never had a desire to live anywhere else but here for the remainder of my education.
why would that change now?
living at my dads is driving me insane.
cant cook,
cant bring girls over comfortably,
cant live,
have to tip toe
make conversation
report to him like a 14 year old.
listen to him rant and complain about everything.
be around his negative vibes
im 32 goodness gracious.
32!!!!!
thats OLD
OLD AS FUCK
YOURE AN ADULT NOW.
PEOPLE YOUR AGE ARE ALREADY MARRIED WITH KIDS AND A WIFE AND OWN A HOUSE.
YOURE HERE, LIVING WITH YOUR PARENTS.
PATHETIC, I BET IT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE A LOSER.
IM UNDATEBLE UNTIL I GET MY OWN PLACE.
DONT YOU REALIZE THIS?????
i know im supposed to be living it up right now.
enjoying my youth- being adventurous, exploring new places, traveling.
how can i do any of this when i feel chained to my existence? i feel weighed down by the thought of living with my parents. how am i supposed to invite girls over to my place? how am i supposed to do anything fun in life when i have to report everything to him like a fucken child? I couldve gone to the gorge but i told him about it and he thought it was a dumb idea. so i didnt do it.
its SO limiting living here. I CANT STAND ANOTHER SECOND OF THIS.
although i am saving money. IM ONLY GETTING OLDER EVERYDAY- EVERY SECOND IS A SECOND LOST.
and about that internship out of state?
FORGET IT.
IT MIGHT NOT EVEN HAPPEN.
plus so i even want to intern out of state?
sure i have a strange desire to get off this island and experience something else. like a city or a different country.
but i can always do that later in life!
why do i need to do it next year?
i think i should stay in Hawaii for my education.
intern at a firm on this island.
set my roots, build my foundation.
and take personal trips to travel. nothing about this plan says i cant do that.
you know what fucks me up even more?
the fact that i didnt stick with GT.
couldve gone to Korea.
Could maybe be going to China in Sept.
That was the plan wasnt it????
wtf happend dude
now im here and i aint doing shit.
wtf is this
what if i try and go back to GT
will that solve my life?
0 notes
lebilliam · 7 years
Text
111 questions with @imaginationisendless3
001: What is your biggest dream? uhhh. that depends on how you define dream. im gonna go ahead and say that the dream is to be able to wake up and go to the airport and just travel all around and come back home to the same old home at the end of the day
002: What is the bravest thing you've ever done? this q is quite a doozy. i really dont keep track of this kind of stuff
003: Is it hard for you to show your feelings? hell ye
004: What is your dream job? What was your dream job when you were little? when i was little i thought looking at space and being an astronaut would be really cool but now its just being able to travel
005: What is your favorite sound? mechanical keyboard clicking hands down
006: Would you rather be in front of the camera or behind it? wait this q seems familiar but im gonna say in front
007: What do you notice first when you meet a new person? (Both in real and on the internet): what kind of memes they like
008: Is there anybody you *fully* trust?: sure theres a list
009: Do you like / love someone? If yes, who?: there was this cute girl once but i never mustered the courage to really talk to her rip 
010: Have you ever received / sent hate? How do you deal with it?: i flame brian and logan all the time but i dont think that constitutes hate mail. tbh i dont recall an instance of being perturbed by excessive hate
011: What are you going to spend money on next?: food in martinique (or maybe some chacos here)
012: What are three things you never leave your house without?: phone, wallet, jacket
013: What is your favorite place?: ive had a lot of favorite places over the last few years but now that im being asked i cant recall any of them. all my favorite places have this one thing that i dont like about them and thats why i have so many
014: Do you sing and/or dance in front of people? nah not earnestly
015: Have you ever cheated on a test?: have YOU? i say i want to cheat on tests all the time bc itd be so easy but im just too lazy to enact a foolproof cheat strategy
016: What is your current desktop background?: last time it was a bunch of functional groups for Ochem, but now its specific reagents and pathways!
017: How would you describe yourself in 3 words? indecisive, unpredictable, decisive (i thnk)
018: What does make you happy?: honestly?? knowing im appreciated
019: What time were you born? uhh i dont know off the top of my head atm but i can check
020: Do you give second chances? Why? why the fuck NOT? well i say that but all the second chances ive given have been disappointments. trying to find someone to surprise me i guess? xd
021: Name your biggest turn ons and turn offs: serious turn offs are lacking empathy for the struggles of others (i say stop being poor ironically, but there are people who really dont get it which is scary to me). turn ons? Jacinda asked me this and my answer still hasnt changed-- the neck. i ALWAYS go for the jugular
022: When was the last time you hugged someone?: hmmmmm probably last month or so?
023: What is your favorite food? GOD dang it i know i say a lot of things are my favorite but now i cant think of anything. something im always down for is KFC though
024: Do you save money or spend it right away? FUCK i try to save it but money just has a way of leaving my hands
025: Do you have any tattoos? If yes, what are their meanings? If no, would you get any?: id love to get tattoos. sleeves and all those seem really neat but also i know im just rash with decisions like that sometimes
026: Name five things you find beautiful: ooo hair in sunlight, pure moments of unadulterated laughter, crafts that people work on, technology, and mechanical keyboards
027: What is your favorite clothing style? (Both in you and others): lately ive been joking about the CLOUT a lot with champion and supreme branded stuff but its ironic. tbh i like buttonups with nice colors.
028: How do you cheer yourself up? i slid into this girl’s dms with this very question and then i linked her a minecraft song parody so i guess minecraft song parodies and stupid things
029: Do you show affection in public?: i would IF I COULD
030: What is one thing you are looking forward to?: martinique, being refreshed enough to actually care about school bc this last semester was a shitshow
031: Have you ever been to other countries? If yes, where?: france, spain, italy, canada, (japan when i was uber young), vietnam, fircrest
032: What was the last lie you told and why? ill start on this at 2pm. i was still in bed at 2
033: Who are the people you can always turn to? mo, lo
034: Have you ever done drugs? If not, would you ever try them?: it sounds like itd be a cool experience but im also scared all of those horror stories where the drugs were laced with other stuff that turns you into a 4 year old
035: What is your favorite word? i think about the word obsequious a lot but i think my favorite word has to go to discord
036: Do you consider yourself a romantic? sure why not
037: What are 3 objects that are *very* important to you and why?: notes section in my phone ( i write a lot of my thoughts and weird dreams in there), my laptop ( i use it literally every single day), my dice ( bc dnd has been uber helpful to me and its a great pastime)  
038: Have you ever met someone famous? If so, who?: nope! not special
039: What would you like to change, mentally and physically, about yourself? id like to start working out but i say that all the time. id like to be more dedicated to school stuff but honestly its whatever. idk jsut trying to be more confident in myself and smiling more
040: Have you ever won a contest/competition? What for? i won a smash tournament once and i got fourth or third in another one but that was a long time ago
041: What is one illegal thing you would do if there were no consequences? steal, armed robbery. 
042: Who are your favorite fictional characters? borutos dad seems kind of cool, they should make an anime about him or something
043: Do you ever wish you were somebody else? yea i wish i was me but better
044: What is your favorite store to shop at? FUEGO and the runway fashion exchange and idk some other cool store but it doesnt come to mind
045: Do you want to have children one day? How many? How would you name them?: i think about it. having children would be cool but also NOT having kids would be cool
046: How do you cope with stress? How do you vent your anger? i say reee unironically but then it makes me feel better 
047: What do you want for your birthday? honestly? lots of money but idk a new set of dice would be nice ore maybe a new computer
048: Have you ever had an imaginary friend? yea probably
049: Have you ever said "I love you" even though you didn't mean it? in the times ive said it i feel like i have meant it but you can never be too sure
050: What is the best advice anyone has ever given you? starting to write down all your feelings and stuff that happens
051: Do you have any regrets? If yes, what do you regret the most? not taking the opportunity to go to high school/ college early / skipping grades / trying harder on admissions tests
052: Do you find tattoos and/or piercings attractive? theyre pretty neat imo i like them
053: Do you want to get married? What are your views on marriage? marriage is such an old concept but also it seems kind of cool
054: Who are you most comfortable around? tbh its been myself for the last few weeks 
055: What are you wearing right now? What do you wear to bed? i am wearing shorts. i try not to wear too much when i sleep bc i overheat but if i have someone else in bed with me ill wear a thin shirt and shorts
056: When is your birthday? feb 26!
057: What is love to you? love is being able to send memes to each other and being able to go from 2 blobs watching videos to a fancy date and 
058: Are you a jealous person? i can be jealous if i dont trust whatever is happening
059: Would you rather go to a party or stay at home? hmm tbh id probably party if my friends were there or if not id stay at home 
060: How many relationships have you had? quite a few
061: Are you a positive person? sure, i guess ;)
062: What kind of people do you feel attracted to? smart people who are smart but also dumb and cute
063: What is the longest time you've stayed awake? oooowee i think 21 hours or so?
064: Have you ever been told "I don't want to lose you"? yep! proceeded to then lose me!
065: What is your favorite genre when it comes to movies? action comedy
066: Do you collect anything? memories and dust and trinkets
067: In your opinion, what is your best quality? i can make you laugh
068: Have you ever changed for someone?yep! it happens and its sad but it happens
069: What is your idea of a perfect date? a date is the entire day, starting out with waking up next to the person, eating breakfast together, maybe do some errands / work out, netflix and chill, chill, go out for a nice dinner and night out, come back, netflix and chill, chill, go to bed.
070: Are you shy or outgoing? i would love to say im outgoing but idk!
071: In your opinion, what is the secret for a great relationship? surprises everywhere
072: Are you the kind of person who breaks rules? hm im sure i did at some point. maybe i still do?
073: Is it hard for you to trust people? yea it can get a lil hard
074: What does your dream house look like? fat front yard, lots of plants, lots of green grass
075: Do you feel attracted to people your age, younger or older? hmm im at the ripe age of 19 where options younger than me are a lil sketch. idk according to the historia older people have been quality
076: How much have you changed over the past year? a LOT boii
077: Longest friendship you've ever had? hmm about 6 or 7 or 8 years
078: Do you have pets? If not, what animal would you like to have? no pets, id love dogs
079: Are you left or right handed? ambidextrous
080: What talent do you wish you’d been born with? perfect pitch would help a lot with what i like to do
081: Where do you get motivation and inspiration? minecraft parody songs, also seeing professionals doing what they do
082: Do you know how to swim? If yes, when did you learn? yea, i learned when i was in bellingham and then i learned more when i was in kent
083: You are given one wish: What do you wish for? i wish for 100 million dollars with no inflation, no taxes, no debts, no one filing a lawsuit or slandering my name (this is all a part of getting the 100 mil. ive thought about getting money a lot)
084: Do you like to give / receive flowers? What is your favorite flower? i like giving flowers bc i feel like if i receive them,  i dont know what to do. its now ur problem if i get you flowers
085: Would you rather travel to a cold forest or a warm beach? warm beach if its not in the early morning when the sun rises, otherwise, forest
086: What is one thing you can't forgive, that can destroy a friendship or relationship beyond repair? if u kill me i dont think i could get over that
087: What is the last thing you purchased? corsair mouse
088: Have you ever broken someone's heart? Ever gotten your heart broken? yep and yep
089: Have you ever cheated on someone? Ever been cheated on? no and yes
090: Do you believe in soulmates? uhhh its possible. theres 8 billion people on this planet, what are the odds that soulmates DOnt exist
091: Is there anybody you would do absolutely *anything* for? If yes, who? hmmmm not anything, but id do a fair bit for my friends
092: Share three facts about your life.: i like to eat, make friends, and travel/experience other cultures
093: Do you believe in love at first sight? i do, but most of the time it isnt reciprocated ;p
094: Would you date someone who smokes / drinks / does drugs / has a mental illness? yea, i dont see why that would stop me from dating them
095: You are given 15 minutes of fame: What would you do? ask for money
096: How is your dream partner like? shes funny, makes me laugh, smells good, etc
097: Would you rather commit to one person or have several relationships? id rather have several relationships so i know exactly what im looking for in a person.
098: What are some of your hobbies? league, hearthstone, watching people play league and hearthstone, french, etc
099: What kind of person do you want to be? i want to be the cool old person when im old
100: What did you have for breakfast? i had some vietnamese cuisine
101: What is your Top 3 favorite shows? What was your Top 3 favorite shows when you were a kid? the office is something i enjoy, mythbusters, uh scooby doo? idk 
102: What are three places you *really* would like to visit one day? hmmm maybe the trevi fountain, il duomo, totally la sagrada familia 
103: What was your last meal? What was your last beverage? breakfast, water
104: Who is the last person you had a deep conversation with? hmm probably anastasia
105: What is one thing that made you smile today? thinking about martinique
106: Do you like taking photos? If yes, what do you photograph the most?i love taking photos, but i never have subjects so i dont really take photos too often
107: Has anyone ever written a poem or a song dedicated to you? Have you? FHCk man i wish. wait there was a 100 things i like about you and i think about it all the time. i actually have written poems and stuff but tis been a  long time and i dont think my creative juices are back from that yet (but trust me, it was straight fire)
108: Do you remember your dreams? If yes, what was the last dream you remember about?: i remember almost all of my dreams because i always tell someone about them and idk talking helps me remember things 
109: If you could go back in the past, would you change anything? If yes, what? i would start learning things so much earlier and stick with theme
110: If you were given 3 million dollars, what would you do with them? invest 2 mill in the bank, get that monthly interest coming back in the mail, use that mill to pay off all my and my friends debts, live life the way i wished i could when i was little
111: What are a few facts about you that not many people know of? i like learning languages but its not profitable in this day and age i feel
'111 Questions': by Ira V. Simon (priveting)
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saintkimora · 7 years
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well i havent made a detailed personal post in a while so here is what my life has been like starting last thursday!
so thursday was when i had my last finals. i had my sociology final in the morning and it was easy. then i went home for a few hours. then i went to the library to go over my final project for psych w my group. like it had to be 10 min and the day before one guy had said he finished the script for us but i looked it over and it sucked! and it was barely over 5 min! so i got to the library and i was like i need to fix this. like the presentation was literally just us taking turns reading off information and the prof wanted us to be creative. so i decided to assign characters to everyone and since i was going first in the original script i made myself like the host and gave myself triple the number of lines i had before just to extend the length of our presentation. so i fixed it and the prof liked our presentation! but one of my group members literally forgot a whole section of his part and it was literally one of the six bullet points we needed to touch on! i was like wtf but i talked to the prof afterwards and she was like its fine
so then a few days later my final grades were all posted. i got As in anatomy, psych, and sociology. but in orgo lab i got a b+ and in orgo lecture i got a b- :/ it was frustrating bc if i had just gotten a few more questions right on the final i wouldve gotten a b instead of a b-, or if i had just done the extra credit but i couldnt figure out how to synthesize an epoxide ring on a benzene so i had no chance of doing it right. but in orgo lab i deserved at LEAST an a- if not an A so idk why i got such a low grade. so rip my gpa this semester was like a 3.4ish and now my cumulative gpa is like 3.807 or something. next semester i seem to have all fair classes except maybe physics so hopefully for the first time in my college career i can get a 4.0 for the semester
so then i had work on saturday. i got there and i was on the register and emily was also on the register. she is the lady i attended orientation with, so i view her as my rival since we both started at the same time. so we were there and she literally got like 3 credit cards in a row i was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO mad! ive gotten like 2 close together before but 3??? i was bitter but it also motivated me bc i was #determined to at least get 3 by the end of the day. and i reached my goal! i got my third one as we were helping the last few customers before closing. and like we give 20% off for signing up for a credit card but the managers tell us to throw in a 20% coupon on top of that just to make it more appealing to the customer. so my last ones were these 2 middle aged/old (? maybe like in their 50s) people and they were already gonna sign up just for the 20% so i was like “oh ill also throw in another 20% off just because” and they were like so grateful they said i was literally a god to them asfjadkfnjdksgn that was so nice of them and then they were like “i hope this kindness youre putting out comes right back to you” like oh i WISH it would
so on saturday the store got 8 credit cards in total. emily and i were tied w 3 each and some other person got 2. and like the managers sometimes just get on the walkies and give us all pep talks and its so nice tbh even though i know its strategic its nice to have some positive reinforcement whereas at toys r us they would threaten to like murder me if i didnt reach my credit card goals 
then i worked again on sunday. i only worked like 4 hours and 45 minutes but i got 3 credit cards again! i was so happy. this time the whole store got 11, and my coworker ally got 4 so i wasnt the top performer :/ but i was still happy i got 3 but also that reminds me! on saturday when i came in to the break room to clock in ally was talking to a manager and she said hi to me or something and a manager jokingly said s/t like dont try to change the subject by talking to perry and she was like “well he is my friend so im gonna talk to him!” even though she was probably exaggerating it was still a cute thing for her to say and it made me happy
on monday i had my first appointment w my therapist for the summer! her name is nancy. shes much more therapist-y than gwen bc shes a lot more focused on like strategies and doing things to minimize my issues whereas gwen was more focused on just understanding my issues. but i actually really liked the things she said like the way shes telling me to view things is way better than the way ive been viewing things and i think i will definitely make some good progress with her
then ive p much been playing persona 5 ever since. i have work on friday saturday and monday so its gonna be a lot but thats better than doing nothing! also i got paid today and i just really love getting money! and im not even dreading work tbh bc i enjoy my job  
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lilc4ctus · 8 years
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22 of not ur avg school tipz
will maybe increase ur chances of doing well in college
these are suggestions, but tip 22 is strongly recommended
source: me, a dying second year student
invest in a small portable blanket bc sometimes big study areas can be cold ESP during long periods of time when the sun has gone down. also if u live in cold place and u taking winter semester!!!! 
also u might wanna consider bringing cosy socks with you so u can be all comfy when u study 
do u know what place has unlimited wifi, lots of food, lots of walking space (4 ur breaks), pretty views, + is never closed (usually all these things anyways) ur local airport. my local airport also always has the perfect amount of background noise 
i can diarrhea work when i put on some turnt up music when im doin subjects like physics and math. number based courses idk try it maybe??? IDK MAN IDK!!!! 
have a study signal. like only turn on ur desk lamp when u ready 2 study otherwise leave it off even during ur study breaks. this way ur body knows when it’s GO TIME!!! i stole this tip from that rly famous yt video w the white man who is a psychologist it’s a rly good video 
tip six is to go watch that video 
bill ur school 4 all ur acne products!!! ha ha i’m kidding kinda 
don’t quit ur extra currics when shit gets hard ull regret it and spiral down into a hole of procrastination. busy is good !!! learn from my mistakes!! (this 1 varies ofc) 
party L O T S. ESP if ur working extra hard. it a positive correlation. or if ur not into partying do some social stuff whatever u like but whatever it is MAKE TIME FOR IT!!! KICK BURNOUT IN THE A S S 
2x!!!! this is a gift when ur trying to review concepts via yt videos. bump down if 2x is too fast but eventually ull get the hang of it and u’ll b balls to the walls smart
coffee doesn’t have to take over your life. if you need to be caffeinated but it makes u too anxious to focus (me) then try some tea. david’s tea the buzz is rly good n has ginger in it i luv ginger 
study motivation: the best way to cheat is by storing the information in ur head. this makes it way more exciting 4 me i’m so dumb!!! 
don’t fix what isn’t broken. if ur study routine or note taking system is all working there no reason 2 go follow ur fave studyblr’s way. this is common sense i think this tip is just a reminder 4 myself honestly 
exercise!!!! eat clean!!! u will feel much more productive n adulty so ur self loathing will decrease and im sure self loathing and productivity r negatively correlated 
imho 4 me it’s best to do NO work on my way to school bc i already hate having to go to school so any way of making that process easier make it so i at least look forward to it more. if ur a real functioning adult ofc u can use this time to b productive??¿ 
ur school supplies does NOT have to be expensive but imho I THINK u should have an enjoyable experience using ur school supplies even if that means spending a couple dollars on 1 pen!!! luv urself i always feel better whenever i look forward to writing 
it’s totally ok if u have no idea what in the balls u are doing w ur bullet journal. ive been bullet journaling for more than 2 years now and what the hell
wake up early!!! my family r the loudest ppl alive so the best work i do is in the morning. u also feel like a productive adult. this is dependent on lots of things ofc but try it?? rmr it is easier to wake up at the time you want and u will just naturally fall asleep earlier than forcing urself to sleep at a certain time to wake up earlier. 
get sleep but figure out how much you need to perform ur best. usually best to do during summer. i personally feel best with 7 to 7 and a half hours of sleep
do smt mindlessly productive in the morning like washing the dishes or just in general cleaning. it gets you going and feeling productive without much mental effort. I find it helps me prepare to do school work.
make time for ppl. your studies are important (as important as you want them to be), but rmr that assignments and study time are much easier to schedule in but ppl aren’t going to be here forever. take the time to spend with ppl esp if you’re young. take some time to go fuck shit up!!!
stay away from frat boys
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Car insurance for a new driver?
"Car insurance for a new driver?
Car insurance for a new driver?
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Is full liability auto insurance the same as full coverage auto insurance?
Need advice on a life insurance policy for my parents.?
My parents are 67 and 57, and despite being the youngest of 6 children, I am somehow viewed as the most responsible. I have power of attorney over their estates. They trust me more than each other or any of their other children, because they know that I don't care about money for myself. I believe my parents have life insurance policies on themselves, but with the way they manage their finances the policies may very well have lapsed. I would like to open policies on both of them myself. I would like to get coverage for not only death but any life-threatening incidents so I can pick up the slack for them if their coverage is insufficient or doesn't kick in. I already have a policy on myself for $500,000, and I pay only $30/month. I'm sure that it'll be much more expensive for my parents, but this responsibility falls to me. My father is in poor health and probably won't make it another 5 years. When that happens I want to be able to pay off his house and any remaining debt, put on a nice funeral, and make sure that my mom has a financial buffer for retirement. Any advice on bringing up the issue of mortality with my parents, and getting their consent? Also, is there anything that I should know about policies for older people?""
""Car Insurance, young male?""
I'm 18, i applied for a 6000+ loan and was approved, I didn't even need a cosigner because my income is very good. Its too bad the insurance company's just DESTROY ME when I find a car I like. I dont wanna drive a damn beater, I dont care how much it will save me. I am currently insured under state farm, they told me insurance for a mitsubishi diamante vr-x would be about 2800 a year.... My family has been with state farm since my grandpa, we have insured over 30 cars in our familys, and this is just the terrible quote they give me!? Its despicable, I refuse to insure with them. What are some good insurance companys that will cost less? I already checked e-surance and the price was better by far.""
Estimate on drivers insurance?
Hello, i'm 16 years old and about to get my licence any ideas on how much insurance would cost me? My family has Allstate and i can qualify for the good student discount.""
What is the cheapest car insurance for a 17 year old young man?
I'm 17 and passed my test a couple of months ago. i've checked websites like go compare and the cheapest car insurance i can get is around 2000 pounds. this is way too high. whats the cheapest i can get? i understand if i go on my mums insurance i could probably get it cheaper. whats can i do to make it cheapest? for example go on my grandma's with 3 other people insured on it or something ? i havent got a car so if anyone could tell me the cheapest car to insure? i understand clios are quite cheap? thankyou
Cheap Insurance for 17/18 year old in UK?
Currently I'm 17, going for my practical soon, I checked insurance for myself and it's over 15000 for a Vauxhall corsa 1999 reg. Does anyone know where to get cheap car insurance for under 25's?""
Car insurance for a new driver?
Car insurance for a new driver?
Which is the most inexpensive car insurance in california? please give me 2 or 3 names. cheapest car insurance?
Which is the most inexpensive car insurance in california? please give me 2 or 3 names. cheapest car insurance?
What is the cheapest auto insurance?
What is the cheapest auto insurance?
Honda city - 4 wheeler insurance -?
for a new honda city 2012 model, what will be the yearly insurance for it. for 31 yr old with 2 yrs of 4 wheeler driving record how to shop for cheap 4 wheeler insurance...and what to look for while buying it this is in chennai -""
Which insurance company is the cheapest for a new UK rider?
Which insurance company is the cheapest for a new UK rider?
Same insurance company but different rates?
Is it true same insurance company but different agent offers different rates?
Color of vehicle and insurance rates?
Does the color of your vehicle really play a part in dictating your car insurance rates?
Best insurance company for a 16 year old driving a v6 or v8 camaro?
best insurance company for a 16 year old driving a v6 or v8 camaro? my thought is that while a v6 camaro might be reasonable to insure a 16 year old driver with, the v8 wouldbe some unuearthly figure in the 8 digits. i know its based on SO many things, but im just asking if anyone has a HUNCH about what insurance company is the best/cheapest for a teen driving a camaro? assume its a v8, ad it cant get any worse if it ended up being a v6, if you know what i mean. btw dont say american faimily. they wont even insure a person with less than 5 years driving experience driving a v8 camaro AT ALL, let alone at a huge rate. finally, do you think there is any way on earth for insurance for a 16year old driving a (2000 lets just say for example) camaro v8? including all the little bonuses like good grades, clean record, etc. all of which i have. thanks so much for your answers! they REALLY help!""
Cavities before getting health insurance?
What are the rules with getting dental insurance. I am willing to pay monthly for it because I really need my teeth fixed. I heard you can't get any teeth fixed you had before the insurance and also you had to have the insurance for a certain amount of time before getting your teeth fixed. Who knows what the rules are about this?
What kind of car insurance can i obtain?
I am 20 years old and i live in California. I have a driver's license but no car. I have heard that there is a type of insurance policy that can cover any car that I drive that is not of my own. Does anyone know which policy that is and from which agency is it from. Also if its an expensive one.
""I am in the militarty and moved to another state, can I have my car insurance from my home state?
I am a resident of and my vehicle is registered in South Carolina and I am stationed in California. California's insurance is way higher than SCs. I would like to carry insurance from SC on my vehicle.
Will having to file a SR-22 with that state of Illinois cost me more in insurance?
Will having to file a SR-22 with that state of Illinois cost me more in insurance?
Does Obama think $600 per month is a low price for health insurance?
Does Obama think $600 per month is a low price for health insurance?
No auto insurance on loan vehical in california?
My auto insurance through farmers insurance has lapsed as of December 1st on my vehicle which I have a loan through coast hills banking. I really am having a hard time getting the money together to get it going again. I told my husband even if a couple Bills go behind I have to pay it by Feb because I'm getting very nervous that it will be taken From me. Has anyone ever had to do this before? its my first time in this scary bind but I got in an auto accident that took my insurance money from me to pay for it so can someone tell me if its possible to loose my vehicle? Thank you
Got in an accident with no collision on my car insurance?
I got in an accident at and intersection the other day. i was heading north ready to turn west(my left) at the intersection. the other driver was heading south with her left blinker on ready to turn east (her left). so when i saw her blinker o n i figured it was safe to take my turn now. but in the middle of my turn she decides to keep going straight rather than turning left like her blinker had indicated. therefore she hit me in my rear passenger side with her front passenger side. she did not have much damage. however my car is fairly warped up in the rear end. it may even be totaled although it is drivable. i am just waiting for the appraisal right now. when we began speaking to the cop i mentioned that she had her blinker on, but she denied this. i alerted my insurance company and they filed a claim. i heard from her insurance company and they sent me to get and appraisal. i sent the accident report to the police station the rmv and my insurance yesterday. I do have insurance but i have no collision so i am real scared that it they put me at fault for some reason that i may be in some deep water. i am almost sure the damage to my car is at least a $5,000 fix. what are the odd of them ruling it her fault? and what are the odds of them ruling it my fault? also...how do you think think my damage will be fixed or covered? any help is much appreciated! thx!""
What cars are cheap and affordable for first time drivers ?
I am booking my driving test soon and looking to save some money for a car, already have some saved up, i wondered on any opinions on cheap cars, low-ish insurance and a reliable one. In the UK which i could buy.""
Any Cheaper Car Insurance..?
Hi I'm in U.K (young driver, no claims bonus). and ive just recently bought a nissan micra 1.0 R reg i got a quote from AA, churchill, norwich union, zurich and they all are giving me a price of over 1500 pounds. I have pass plus. Any cheap car insurance out there in U.K please help need to get one fast. Thanks""
Do any states not require car insurance by law?
Looking for a state that does not require me to have car insurance.
Look! Auto Insurance?
Has anyone heard of Look! Auto Insurance based in Michigan? Are they a legit agency? http://www.look-insurance.com/home.nxg
Whats the difference between molina & caresource health insurance?
Whats the difference between molina & caresource health insurance?
Can a car insurance broker be wrong?
This insurance broker gave me a quote that is a lot lower than what i pay for my car insurance right now. He double checked my information and my driver's licence and gave me a low quote, while all the other brokers told me higher amounts. Could he be wrong? What if I say I want to switch to that insurance, and it turns out he cannot get that locked quote for me? what happens then?""
No claim bonus on previous car insurance?
HI I WOULD BE GRATEFUL IF YOU COULD ANSWER ABOUT CAR INSURANCE CLAIM BONUS DID 2 YEARS INSURE WITH FIRST CENTRAL INSURANCE FROM DECEMBER 2010 TO DECEMBER 2012 THEN STOP DRIVING AND NOT DRIVE FOR 13 MONTHS DO I STILL HAVE CLAIM BONUS I WAS TOLD YES IT EXPIRE AFTER 2 YEARS IS THIS TRUE? I TRY CONTACT MY PREVIOUS INSURANCE ABOUT THIS BUT NO REPLY YET THANK YOU
Do you really believe that America has the best healthcare in the world?
Please say why you believe this when all evidence points to the contrary. You talk about health, cost, care, ect, we do not have the best. People in other countries have better. I mean...I listened to sean hannity say that we have the best healthcare and the only evidence he could provide is some vauge story about a politician from another country coming here to get healthcare...that doesn't really qualify as evidence. Especially when the world health organization ranks healthcare, and we're nowhere near number 1. Now this is a fact that I've known for about two years before this debate even flared up. How is misinformation getting so out of hand? Please...tell me why we have the best with 50 million people uninsured. When we pay the most of any country in the world with some of the worst care. When we have some of the most unhealthy people. When insurance companies exempt for preconditions, when healthcare cost is the biggest contributor to our debt, when we pay premiums every month for something that doesn't happen, and when it does we have to co pay, then when it runs out we're screwed. Healthcare is the number one bankrupter in this country...over 70% of the people have health insurance when they first get sick and they still go bankrupt. Explain how this is the best please. And this has nothing to do with Obamas plan so keep it to yourself, this is about thinking we have the best healthcare and that other countries are somehow much worse then us (they aren't). Provide a source if you can.""
Insurance through the military?
My dad was in the USMC back during the Vietnam War and is now on 100% disability. I was approved for the Dependents' Education through the GI Bill and now I'm wondering if I can get low-cost health insurance through the military as well. I'm 18 and am his only child living at home. We live in New Hampshire and I am currently going to school full time. Like I said, he is on 100% disability through the VA and I was looking at the US Family Health Plan at Martin's Point but I'm not sure if he has to be on the plan so it would be a family plan or if I could do it as an individual plan. He is covered 100% but has to travel like 2.5 hours away to go to Togus in Augusta but I'm not sure if I would be covered in any way through any of this or if I could at least get affordable health insurance through him? Thanks for reading and thanks in advance for any of you who attempt to answer my questions! (:""
Is medicare a good insurance plan or will a lot of things not be covered. I know there is no drug coverage.?
I recently started recieving medicare after becoming disabled, and pay over $100 per month to recieve this insurance out of my small disability income. I am wondering if this will ...show more""
Car Insurance question..Im confussed ?? ( uk )?
O.k so Im a new driver and bought a car and signed up with insurance which worked out about 60 a month. My car broke down beyond repair and I have suspended my insurance as had to scrap the car. Now I been on car insurance websites to compare many different cars to see which is cheapest and all my other details are same but no matter what car details i put (different ages/ values) but all small cars similar to my last vehicle the quote comes up double the cost at over 110. Why is this ?
Car insurance for a new driver?
Car insurance for a new driver?
Collecting on insurance policy?
Ok, so here it is. A guy hit me, police report said his fault. Totaled my truck and I got a huge amount of med bills. Now I know his insurance co. is payin for my truck and my med bills, but can I also claim on my insurance for pain and suffering, etc?""
Can I get insured for a Volkswagen Golf GTI? (i'm 18)?
Hi! I wanted to buy the new golf gti, and I was wondering how much insurance would cost. What do you think will be cheaper, insuring the golf, or importing a car from another country (i won't have to buy it- i'll just take one of my parents' cars. Please don't say you won't be able to afford it etc. Trust me, I can afford it. Full stop.""
If you work at GEICO what is your insurance rate for your car and house?
how much of a % off is it compared to customers?
Can you insure two people separately on the same car?
My girlfriend is doing her lessons and driving to work and having her own car would cost more than it does to get the bus with price of parking, and I don't want to put her on my insurance so would she be able to insure her self on my car as well on a different policy?""
What is the average price for motorcycle insurance (PLPD or full coverage) for a 17 year old with 0 tickets?
What is the average price for motorcycle insurance (PLPD or full coverage) for a 17 year old with 0 tickets?
How much of a monthly take home pay should you pay for a car & insurance?
How much of a monthly take home pay should you pay for a car & insurance?
What is The Best Life Insurance Policy?
What is The Best Life Insurance Policy? I am Looking For the Best Life Insurance Policy We are having another child and I have to do something about not having any life insurance Can I get A free Online Life Insurance Policy Quote somewhere. Thanks for your time
How come Americans can't afford medical insurance?
Yet we seem to have PLENTY of money to blow on Ipods, Itunes, Iphones, lap top computers, DVD players, flat screen TVs, designer clothing, fast food, porn, alcohol, cigarettes, and concert tickets?""
""Young driver getting a new car, insurance?""
Me and my fiance are buying a new car, im 20 and hes 22. Its a 2010 Mazda 3. We already went to the dealership and got a good price on it and even 0% financing. Signed all the papers and now we are looking at getting insurance but its putting us back a little bit. The car is all ready to go but not until we have insurance. Any ideas on good cheap insurance or are we basically screwed?""
How to get a cheaper car insurance in new jersey?
i leased a car a year ago and allstate just add 500 dollars on my premium and actually my car insurance is way more expensive than my car note. although i have 2 points on my drivers licence but it has been almost two years now and since i havent had no moving violation. Am planning to take a online defensive driver class to remove them. Please let me know what should i do to lower my premium or where to go cause its killing my finance. i am living in new jersey.
Insurance agents - Life insurance commissions?
Hello everybody, I am hoping to find life insurance agents working with different companies. my question is what is the commission I can accept to receive from different publicly traded companies what offere not only auto, home and others but also life and disability?? I am currently working with Mutual Company and I am a captive agent and only receive 35-55% commission on any life insurance produce i sell and it seems like it was important for me before to work for a mutual company and never was conserned about low commission, but I am also getting invoved with Auto and home insurances and i am hearing that these public companies offer higher commission and let me tell you now days I want to get higher commission becuase the industry has slowed down for me and I am interested to make the most out of what I do right now... any information about commissions with different companies would be appreciated.... I am open to any advise, suggestion, information, and comments.... thank you all""
""Car Insurance: What are premiums, legal fees and voluntary excess?
I have been trying to get car insurance quotes online but I dont understand what the above terms mean Also if my road tax (UK) is not due for renewal till thursday can i buy it today? Will they adjust the date for me. Any help will be appreciated Thank you for your time
Does anyone know the best car insurance to buy from with just the minimum required?
i am so sick of car insurance companies taking advantage of people with these super high prices just because the dumb law says you have to have insurance.
Do car insurance quotes go up daily?
I am being quoted much more now than a fortnight ago
How does car insurance work for a student learner?
I'm 21 years old and I just got a permit to learn driving in the state of Illinois. I do not live with my parents, I live with my aunt and uncle who have a car and have auto insurance. How does auto insurance work for someone in my situation? The car I'll be using to practice is not of my parents, and I myself have no auto insurance (I don't own a car or have a DL, obviously) Is auto insurance attached to the car and not the person? Suppose I'm driving a car which has auto insurance of my aunt and uncle, is the car still covered by the insurance? When I take the drivers test using a car that belongs to my aunt/uncle, they will obviously not be present in the car. Will I need to have car insurance at that point to be able to take the exam?""
Will Health insurance costs be lower now that they are making us get it?
How much will we be Taxed if we still can't afford it ?
Do insurance companies use mortality rates to set premiums and other costs for certain age groups? Why?
Do insurance companies use mortality rates to set premiums and other costs for certain age groups? Why?
How much does your car insurance cost?
Im 18, third party fire and theift on a Nissan Micra and its 400""
Insurance companies rating?
I am thinking of changing insurance companies how do i check their rating.
Motorcycle Insurance?
I am looking at a red 2007 Honda Shadow VLX. I'm a 21 year old female, I'm on State Farm with my car, living in Lake Charles, which is probably one of the bigger cities in Southwest Louisiana. Just wondering what average cost might be to insure this bike. Like, minimum or if it's totaled. I only have one speeding ticket from a year ago on my record I believe. Thanks!""
What is the cheapest car insurance company in San Antonio?
I'm just looking for a liability insurance. Thankssssssssss!!
IM 19. I HAVE A FULL PAID CAR. WHAT IS THE CHEAPEST INSURANCE I CAN GET?
IM 19 YEARS OL. I HAVE A FORD CONTOUR. WHAT WOULD BE THE CHEAPEST ROOT I CAN GO FOR ONLINE INSURANCE. ALL I NEED IS COVERAGE..HELP!
I got a ticket for failure to show insurance in NJ . How will this effect my insurance rates.?
The day I got my car, I was got a ticket for not having insurance in NJ.I had insurance but paper had not come in the mail yet. I went to court and it was lowered to failure to show insurance and I paid like $185. How will this effect my points and and my insurance rates. Should I reopen my case and plea not guilty or see if I could get it dismissed and would I have to get a lawyer for that? Is it worth the money? This is my first ticket ever. I though he would dismiss my case after explaining my case but my public defender was really rude and impatient when I asked him If I could have the case dropped saying You're should be glad I am not getting your license taken for a year! which is true, but I had proper documentation so there was not way my license would have been suspended.""
Why did my insurance go up for switching cars?
I have liability insurance in the state of California. The company is multi state. Recently I switched the vehicle I have on the policy from a 2005 pontiac GTO to a 1995 lincoln town car. I am wondering why my monthly actually went up, vs going down. When I spoke with a representative they explained to me that the GTO is a level 21 and the town car is a level 26 . Was this true? I hardly understand how a 1995 4 door sedan is more costly than a 2005 400hp 2 door. I have had no accidents or tickets hit my record, in all, it only went up $15, but I'm still at a loss about why it went up. Thanks.""
Do you pay a lot of money for car insurance where you live?
Wher so you live an dhow much does it cost. I live in NY it the sh*t is HIGH.
Car insurance for a new driver?
Car insurance for a new driver?
Do you need a Car Insurance to get a license?
I'm Male 18 yrs old. I don't have a car yet. I finished taking DMV Written Exam. My problem now is the Behind the Wheel. My mom told me if she will include me in her Insurance, it will add her around $400 more. I'm planning to go to a driving school maybe to lessen the amount. My question is, if I would use the car of the Driving School, do I still need to have an Insurance? Any suggestions? Thanks!""
How much would my insurance be?
I will be a sixteen year old male and im getting my lisence the summer before junior year i have around a 3.2 gpa and the main car ill drive is a 2006 honda pilot and my dad has a 2007 honda civic. Also my dad is insuraned through geico and same with my sister but shes at college. Around how much would my insurance be? I know its more cause im a male but I would just like a ballpark amount. Thanks.
Does car insurance cover this..?
my freind borrowed my car and he and his father went to the mall,his father got into a car accident which was his fault.now the car is totaled.i only have basic insurance does that cover my car or am i out of a car?""
Car insurance for a 16 year old girl?
I will be getting my license in march. I will be driving a 1998 4 door buick regal. I was wondering how much insurance may be. My parents have clean records and excellent credit. I maintain a 3.8 GPA but the insurance company doesn't give rebates for that.
""California Life and Health Insurance, How can i Lower my Insurance rates?""
California Life and Health Insurance, How can i Lower my Insurance rates?""
AAA auto Insurance policy ?
I'm currently having auto insurance with AAA and my bro is going to get his car soon. If I can get both of our cars insured under 1 plan, would that be cheaper ? thanks""
Cheap health insurance for college students?
Hi im a college student who is broke. Can someone help me out with cheap heath insurance? I cant even afford the insurance that the school offers. Please help me out.
My clutch & break failed can i get insurance !?
how i can get the insurance cover of my car maruti wagon r vxi purchased in 2012 !
Healthcare Homework help?
Here is what i need to find: 1) explore insurance costs for patients with and without cancer 2) will the new Obama healthcare act help patients with cancers be able to access affordable health care insurance rates? 3) do hospitals have the right to reject some patients and refuse care? 4) what are the local, state, and federal laws regarding right to treat? Okay so i've already done some research but some of the questions are kinda vague and im having trouble figuring out what to say and finding info...especially #1. It's supposed to be placed on a poster board for a showcase so it needs to be nice. I dont know much about healthcare so i dont know what i need to focus on?""
How much is insurance for young men drivers?
I want to get a new car and im 18 years old. My dad says he wont put me on his insurance if i buy a new car but insurance on a new car will be like $400 a month!!!! I have no accidents or tickets my record is clean. Is this normal? I dont live in a bad area and it is a convertible pontiac g6. ThanX
Insurance Cost?
I'm 18 and I have a 3.0+ GPA and I'm a male. I'm looking to get a new 2007 Honda Accord two door manual transmission. I live in California in the L.A. area. Does anyone know the price range of my insurance?
Why would insurance pay double what someone paid for a motorbike?
If a motorbike was stolen and returned with minimal damage why would the insurance company pay out twice what the bike cost?
Car insurance INCREASE every 6 months with no accidents/tickets? wtf!?
Last year I had Unitrin Direct....they were charging me $85 a month...this is with NO tickets or accidents for the last 5 years of my driving record....this is also with the BASIC insurance that you need in Florida...10/10/20...NO collision...and a $1000 deductible..... So at the end of my 6 months...it was time for a renewal...they tried to bump me up to $140 a month for no reason...still no accidents/tickets...nothing had changed...i had expected my rate to DECREASE....they tell me it's a STATEWIDE INCREASE ......so i called around... Ended up switching to Allstate who has been charging me $90 a month (better than $140 right?).....6 months go by, everything's cool.....now my policy renewal is coming up and they're trying to tell me i need to pay $160 a month for their basic insurance. Are you kidding me? And according to them it's another STATEWIDE INSURANCE INCREASE ...... They also told me that it could be due to not having CONSECUTIVE insurance for the last few years, as in...I switched from State Farm to Unitrin to Allstate......they told me call the state insurance commissioner...which I did.... Got connected to some guy in Gainesville who tells me that the INSURANCE companies are the ones who decide the rates and increases...not them. Pretty much BS....Allstate's blaming the state, state's blaming them...feels like a huge runaround to me. Guess my questions are.... Should I stick with Allstate and pay $160 a month for this absolute BASIC insurance (keep in mind..no collision, $1000 deductible)...my car's not even worth a YEAR of their insurance. .... Or shop around? But if I switch back to Unitrin or get Geico or whatever....will I risk having ANOTHER increase after 6 months? And is it true that one of the reasons for these statewide increases is not having consecutive insurance with the same company for so many years? Thanks all.""
17 year old car insurance prices ?
im comparing cars on moneysupermarket because im 16 an need a heads up on insurances costs etc... but i compared a classis mini 1.0- annual: 6000 and Monthly: 650 also, 2007 vauxhall corsa 1.0- annual: 8000 Monthly: 852 and a 1993 Ford Fiesta 1.1- annual: 12000 Monthly: 1152 now i can sort of understand the price for the mini, due to its a small car with a small engine, but the corsa's like brand new? how can the insurance be sort of lowish. but why are they charging huge amounts for a fiesta that is older than me and is probably falling to piece's slowly ? im so confused :S can some one help me and please explain this i really want to be able to have a first car at 17 but at this rate i might be stuck on a motorcycle for a few years then maybe have enough money to afford a car :/""
""How much cheaper would it be to go under my dads insurance for a van, if it was 2000 on my own policy? (Year)?""
My INSURANCE quote is around 2000 Annual for my Ford Transit Van. Im 17 years of age and would really like this to be a tad cheaper for the first year until I get my little own run Business going a bit more. Is there anybody who can give me an estimate on how much Im looking at if I went under my fathers Insurance? Cheers Guys! Jack Osborne. All Answers Appreciated. (Added - I am not able to get a quote from my dads insurance people so we are changing it over. Please do NOT give me nasty answers as these will be classed as immature) If you haven't got anything nice to say, Don't say anything at all.""
""I pay right now about $160 for car insurance a month. It's with progressive, and this is the cheapest I can""
get and it doesn't cover much at all it will only the cover the other car if i cause an accident. I live in midtown atlanta so this is why insurance costs so much, but does anyone know anything I can get cheaper? Is safe auto a good deal? Help please!""
A question about how much will insurance cost?
i am looking at a few cars , toyota mr2 which should be cheap on insurance because it's a classic car and im looking at a renault clio 1.2 now im just wondering because im nearly a 17 year old and wanting to know how much would insurance cost on these 2 cars thanks people""
""My brother wrecked my car and the Insurance wont cover it, what can I do?
While I was out of the country my brother wrecked my car and the insurance company wont cover it. I have full coverage and my brother had my permission to be driving my car so how can they refuse to pay?
Car insurance?
i live in northern ireland , just got a really good quote for car insurance from a company called endsleigh, i have never heard of them does anyone know if this is a good reliable company""
What are california's car insurance laws?
Im a new driver and was wondering if its a type of insurance i need. I only have Liability on my car nothing else am i ok if i get pulled over and asked for proof of insurance??
1999 Chevy Cavalier convertible insurance price?!?
I would like to know how much the insurance for a 1999 Chevy Cavalier convertible would be for a 17 year old driver with no tickets or accidents! Please help me out.
I live in NC and I cant afford my car insurance; I'm on disability and I can't drive.?
Can someone else get insurance and use my car and take me to appts.?
Do I really need travelers insurance?
We are taking a trip from Oregon to Cancun Mexico soon and am wondering if I should purchase travelers insurance. We are going to purchase airline tickets directly from Delta Airlines and also from our chosen hotel. I'm thinking that if there are any problems, the airline and hotel would take care of it. What are your thoughts?""
Which state has higher insurance rates texas or california?
I am getting stationed in San Diego and moving my car from Texas to California.
""I have AETNA insurance full coverage, and my hospital bill is $42,519, will my insurance pay all of it???""
i was in a sever car accident, lost control hit a tree. and my hospital bill is $42,519, for only 5 days in the hospital. No broken bones, no surgies. i only had a minor head concussion, and a few bruises. i have AETNA full coverage insurance and i am a full time college student. now will aetna pay all of the hospital bills..or do i have to pay some. im really confused.""
Car insurance for a new driver?
Car insurance for a new driver?
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/affordable-health-insurance-medicare-solutions-cincinnati-jose-silva/"
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jess-oh · 7 years
Text
Reflection
why is it so hard to focus or concentrate?
i just need to stay on task and get these things out of the way. it’s not even that much! I also need to sleep an ample amount of time so that I can be alert for class tomorrow and get everything done for my posters for graphic design I.
i dont really know what im feeling still. just depressed, i guess. i feel....like im not good enough. i think im struggling so much with physics bc im trying so hard but it’s not enough to get that A. i need to try harder and push myself to do better. i thought by now i would’ve fallen into a kind of rhythm and be pumping out lab reports like it was nothing and acing them all the time. But science isnt my strong suit and so, im struggling. and honestly, all the events that ive been thinking about have been impacting me in ways much heavier than i would like to admit. i dont want to say i just self harmed but i kind of did. i just scratched into my arm. deep. deeper. and i was tempted to do it all over my body. as an attempt of escaping this overwhelming burden and stress and strain. the scratches stung after but im tempted to do it again. my arm is so warm now. but i want to do it again. bc i feel so helpless. bc i feel like im trying but it’s not enough for an A. at least before i had excuses because of Genie dying or the election. I guess now I kind of have the fire and suicide and my granny other things. but these just happened recently. it’s not an excuse for how i’ve been doing in my classes thus far. i want to get all As. I want the semester to go by faster so that I can maintain my high GPA. I went here bc it was within my strengths of working hard. and I’m wondering if i just took on too many extracurriculars. i do want to be involved at church but i dont have time. i do want to do nonprofit work with in.powered but i dont have time. i do want to hangout with my ASO friends but i dont have time. i just need to really focus on my studies and worry less about my relationships. i cant afford to fail a class. i really cant. i have to pass everything and the best way to do that is to get the best grade so that theres not even a chance of failure.
i really really really hate failing and i feel like im failing at life right now. i realized that i didnt have enough time to stop by the health center so i got my tweezers and just went in. i def popped a bubble of pus but my splinter might still be there. it does still hurt to my hand but it might just be the result of an open wound. idk. im just so tired and i want the week to end already bc so much is happening and i cant fully comprehend anything and i just want to rest and take a break bc it really is much needed right now but i cant afford to miss class bc then i’ll be so behind and i cant miss work bc then i’ll have no money for food. i just have to wait until saturday to rest and hope that i dont have homework to work on. i just feel like im in a neverending stress loop, even though i’ve been pretty on top of my homework. i havent missed any deadlines and im not behind on anything and i have mostly all As. I just. I don’t know how much more of this that I can handle. Maybe I just need to get in the habit of doing homework immediately after class instead of resting and saving it for the weekend? Maybe it’s better to just grind hard for 5 days and rest 1 day? Instead of trying to balance it throughout the week? Because this. This is a lot to handle right now and I think I can survive until the end of the semester but I don’t know if I’ll be able to do it again. i am so emotionally and mentally drained but i literally do not have the time to rest. i just have to keep pushing forward. i cant afford to give up now. i’ll be way too behind in class. i just have to keep going.
andrew’s youngest brother ran away from home and i guess it happens kind of often. and i tried to be more empathetic bc i understand what it’s like to be in his shoes. you just cant trust anyone bc they all have a certain expectation of you and it’s hard to understand that if you’ve never been in that position. but i tried to reason with andrew and wonder why he isnt more worried. yes, he’s spoiled. but he’s his family. and i did not get along with my fam at one point either but when push comes to shove, they are there for me. and i’d like to believe that andrew’s fam is there for one another too. even if it doesn’t always seem like it. im wondering if they just need a break from each other. i think that’d be the healthiest choice for his brother. im just worried that he’ll end up like me. depressed and alone. but it might be better than staying at home, lying in his old, dirty habits. bc im sure that that’s how my family viewed me. and we’re better now and i cleaned up my act. but if i never left, i dont know if much would have changed. i just never felt good enough for them, no matter what i did. it was constant criticism. never any appreciation or encouragement. and it tore me apart.
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