#life without art is a sad one indeed

[luxlightly]

Drawing steps

Step 1: try to draw

Step 2: fail to draw

Step 3: 10-30 of the most intense, violent anger, self loathing and impulse to break things and/or self harm ever felt by mankind

Step 4: anywhere between a few hours to a few weeks of depression and suicidal ideation, occasionally going back to extreme self loathing and anger

Step 5: wait until the temptation to try again grows too strong to resist and go back to step 1

( at least this time my anger and frustration was slightly less aimed at myself and more outwardly aimed at fate. So i guess that's progress. We'll see how long step 4 lasts. In the meantime I'll be face down in bed listening to "please please please let me get what I want" by the Smiths when it doesn't make me want to kill myself too strongly)

[kiyosato-yuri]

something about Ryōshū and Yoshihide

[might be a bit offensive, most is personal thought about Yoshihide and how PM build Ryōshū at the moment]

As someone who love Ryōshū, me and my friend wanted to make this post

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In Jigoku hen (Hell’s Screen), Yoshihide is a peculiar, arrogant, and conceited painter who looks down on all rules and traditions. He’s someone who cast away the Five Constants 五常 ( 義 justice, 禮 politeness, 智 wisdom, 信 fidelity and 仁 benevolence) to pursue art.

「あゝ、これでございます、これを描く為めに、あの恐ろしい出来事が起つたのでございます。又さもなければ如何に良秀でもどうしてかやうに生々と奈落の苦艱が画かれませう。

あの男はこの屏風の絵を仕上げた代りに、命さへも捨てるやうな、無惨な目に出遇ひました。云はゞこの絵の地獄は、本朝第一の絵師良秀が、自分で何時か墜ちて行く地獄だつたのでございます.... 。」

“It was for this reason, indeed, his consuming desire to paint this picture, that the terrible incident occurred. If it had not been for this event, how could even Yoshihide have succeeded in painting that graphic picture of the tortures and agonies in Hell? 

So, he could complete the picture, his life had to come to a miserable end. Indeed, it was to this very Hell in his picture, that Yoshihide, the greatest painter in Japan, had condemned himself.”

In the game, Ryōshū is depicted almost exactly the same way, if not more explicitly deranged than the original. There are numerous moments in the game that describe her eyes lighting up when she starts “painting” or marveling at piles of [censored] meats while exclaiming in delight.

You don’t even have to look so far—just read the uptie story of Warp Corp. Ryōshū. It vividly portrays her happiness and joy in cleaning up the hellscape created by centuries of despair-driven madness. I'll even quote here

"I get to visit a museum, an exhibition featuring brand-new pieces of art every single day. All that for a bit of physical labor." "When this train that people take without giving it a second thought, every single day...Turned out to be a gallery of arts, sculpted with chisels of time! While I was impressed with how well they were hiding this truth from the public... three words came to mind. This. Is. It.

" In hindsight, I was so absorbed with chasing after and creating my own art "

"One that wrapped its flesh around the plush side of the seat, embodying a new chair with extra cushioning...One that is an amalgam of many, taking the shape of a new organism and lurching on... Though I wouldn't classify that as 'art'. Not yet."

"Shambling without intent is… in the end, insufficient to be called art. It is incomplete at best. I butcher them. Because the company ordered me to make them easier to clean up. To interfere with the process of involuntary art isn't to my liking, no… But that doesn't happen very often. Besides, there is plenty to be gained from the rest."

If that’s doesn't prove much, in the opening moments of the game, she’s visibly enjoying watching people get tossed into a bus to be crushed into fuel, while Sinclair is terrified, and Dante is questioning the morality of what’s happening.

With such evidence, there’s no way to claim her sadistic tendencies are just a façade or mask—it’s her bare essence. And that’s without even touching on her masochistic tendencies, which honestly make Yoshihide seem tame in comparison when it comes to twisted and warped personalities.

Ryōshū and Yoshihide are both artists consumed by blind, inescapable devotion to their craft. They are the kind of people who would willingly open the gates of hell and hurl themselves inside. They are also inevitably doomed to fall into Avīci Hell.

And as for being sad? Was Jigoku hen supposed to be a tragic tale of a father losing his daughter? Was Yoshihide meant to be a character that evokes sympathy for his suffering? Absolutely and definitely not.

Yoshihide himself opened the gates of hell and threw himself in—no one pushed him. He discarded the Five Constants and trampled over human lives in the name of art.

「檳榔毛の車にも火をかけよう。又その中にはあでやかな女を一人、上﨟のをさせて乗せて遣はさう。炎と黒煙とに攻められて、する、車―それを描かうと思ひついたのは、流石に天下第一の絵師ぢや。褒めてとらす。おゝ褒めてとらすぞ」

"A charming woman dressed up like a court lady shall ride in the carriage. Writhing amidst the deadly flames and black smoke, the lady in the carriage will die in agony. Your suggestion of finding such a model for your picture does you full credit as the greatest painter in the whole country. I praise you. I praise you highly."

What Yoshihide receives at the end of the story is the consequence of his own actions. In the end, he finishes painting the hellish screen—only after watching his beloved daughter burn alive before his eyes—and then hangs himself. The masterpiece he created was painted with the agony of witnessing his daughter’s death, and yet, just moments after despair, he finds joy and radiance in it. At his core, Yoshihide is still a painter who sacrifices goodness for the sake of beauty.

He’s no different from his original inspiration, Ryōshū in Uji Shūi Monogatari (Tales of a Rainy Night), who took delight in watching his house burn, his wife and children still inside. Akutagawa’s addition of a sense of love and grief in Yoshihide is a form of punishment—because while the original Ryōshū lost his humanity, Yoshihide still feels pain, which haunts him after completing his masterpiece.

「その火の柱を前にして、凝り固まつたやうに立つてゐる良秀は― 何と云ふ不思議な事でございませう。あのさつきまで地獄の責苦に悩んでゐたやうな良秀は 、今は云ひやうのない輝きを、さながら恍惚とした法悦の輝きを、皺だらけな満面に浮べながら、大殿様の御前も忘れたのか、両腕をしつかり胸に組んで、佇んでゐるではございませんか。

それがどうもあの男��眼の中には、娘の悶え死ぬ有様が映つてゐないやうなのでございます。唯美しい火焔の色と、その中に苦しむ女人の姿とが、限りなく心を悦ばせる― さう云ふ景色に見えました。」

"In front of the pillar of fire, Yoshihide stood still, rooted to the ground. What a wonderful transfiguration he had undergone! A mysterious radiance, a kind of blissful ecstasy, showed on the wrinkled face of Yoshihide who had been agonized by the tortures of hell until a minute before.

His arms were tightly crossed on his chest as if he had forgotten that he was in the presence of the Grand Lord. No longer did his eyes seem to mirror the image of his daughter's agonized death. His eyes seemed to delight beyond measure in the beautiful color of the flame and the form of the woman writhing in her last infernal tortures."

Because of how Jigoku hen is written, readers are left with the impression that “Yoshihide, despite his twisted nature, still has humanity.” But they forget how much pleasure he took in watching his daughter burn. Now they project what they read onto Ryōshū… even though the game hasn’t explored her backstory? So far, the game hasn’t dropped a single hint about Ryōshū’s backstory. She remains one of the most mysterious sinners on the bus. None of the uptie stories for her IDs provide even a shred of evidence that she’s secretly melancholic like Gregor.

What we can confirm is that she cherishes her sword, has some connection to the Five Fingers, and always speaks up when the topic of family comes up. Using the original work as a basis to interpret a character is fine but announcing your personal interpretation as fact while accusing others of not understanding the character is like running ahead of the car you're supposed to be riding.

Ryōshū, Sinner No. 4 of Limbus Company, is a violence-loving mystery of a character with shady connections, an artist who finds beauty in the grotesque. While this is not the entirety of her character, it is who she is. 

Ryōshū is Ryōshū—not Don Quixote or Rodion with a mask slapped on.

Liking her for her violent and twisted nature doesn’t make you a fool. It’s not the same as liking someone and then realizing the person you admired was merely putting on an act or presenting a beautiful façade. If PM later explores a more humanizing or empathetic aspect of Ryōshū, your reaction would likely be, “Oh, so Ryōshū still has humanity/she also has this side to her?” There might be some surprises, but it definitely wouldn’t feel like being deceived.

Even though I’m pretty sure most of the Ryōshū’s shrimp pond will continue simping for her because of her twisted nature as it is now. Either way, even if Ryōshū is shown to have humanity, she’ll still be Ryōshū—she’ll still turn people into a heap of [CENSORED] and call it art. That’s also how Akutagawa described Yoshihide up until the moment he ceased to live.

From start to finish, Yoshihide was always the blind painter single-mindedly pursuing his art, to the point that even his last shred of humanity couldn’t overcome his identity as an artist. As some analysts point out, the last remnants of Yoshihide’s humanity were burned away with the monkey that threw itself into the flames after his daughter.

「さうして朱塗のやうな袖格子がばらくと焼け落ちる中にのけ反つた娘の肩を抱いて、帛を裂くやうな鋭い声を、何とも云へず苦しさうに、長く煙の外へ飛ばせました。続いて又、二声三声 ― 私たちは我知らず、あつと同音に叫びました。

壁代のやうな焔を後にして、娘の肩に縋つてゐるのは、堀河の御邸に繋いであつた、あの良秀と諢名のある猿だつたのでございますから。その猿が何処をどうしてこの御所まで、忍んで来たか、それは勿論誰にもわかりません。」

“Amidst the burned crimson-lacquered lattice which was crumbling in pieces, it put it hands on the warped shoulders of the girl, and gave, out of the screens of black smoke, a long and piercing shriek of intense grief like the tearing of silk, then again two or three successive screams. Involuntarily we gave a unanimous outcry of surprise. 

What was holding fast to the shoulders of the dead girl, with the red curtain of blazing flames behind it, was the monkey, which went by the nickname of Yoshihide at the mansion of Horikawa.”

That would be Ryoshu, following the original Yoshihide's portrayal most closely—not some tragic, repressed character. As for how Project Moon plans to cook her up, only they know. They’re keeping it under wraps, so no player can analyze her in depth just yet. What if they decide to make her a fusion dance of the lord, the painter, and the daughter?

For those who like Ryoshu because she’s a handsome, domineering figure—well, lucky you, no worries there.

[iphigeniainaulis]

Spirit of Sadness*

Can't believe it's already the third anniversary of the @flash-exchange 💛 This is my gift for lovely @rinaririr. I hope it will remind you how strong and talented you are!

Character: Leonardo

Prompt: You cannot see the light without darkness

*the title of Le Gallienne's poem

Today is that day. 

Human life iridesces like a diamond in the sun. Versatile, bright and eternally beautiful. But when the rain comes, even gems get dirt on them. 

You can't call yourself a sad person. Surely, life gives you lots of lemons, but somehow you’ve learned to make the very best lemonade out of them. Most of the time, at least. 

Yet, sometimes days like this occur. When suddenly the last pack of sugar is gone, and lemons are sour. When the rainfall turns the golden forest in front of Comte’s mansion into a mess of dirty green and ochre. When the brush in your hand no longer follows your command no matter how much you dip it into the deep blueness of oil paints. 

Covering your face with your hands, you try to find a specific rhythm to breathe. Darkness makes your senses stronger, ears and nose catching what eyes can't see. The sound of old wooden clocks. The cracking of the fireplace. Time runs but moves nowhere, so you give yourself permission to cry, warming icy hands with hot tears.

A sudden rush of wind brings you the smell of wet leaves and the melancholy of autumn. Being forced to hang in the air for a split second, you end up in the comfort of your lover's embrace, covered from tip to toe with his endlessly long, endlessly wide coat.   

“He’s caught in the rain. That's why the scent of cigarillos didn't warn me of his presence,” is the only rational thought produced by your tired mind.

“What’s happened?” he sounds unbothered. His long calloused fingers are playing with your hair, a habit he shows when feels nervous.

You’re searching for the right words to come, and Leonardo gladly gives you as much time as you need, lulling you with deep murmuring and gentle touches. 

At some point you accept your defeat and say what’s been on your mind for quite a long time.

“It’s just that sometimes I feel so much doing so little. Today I haven’t drawn a single sketch. But time goes by, and I feel as if it leaves me behind, while others live their lives to the fullest.”

Wiping a tear, you continue.

“And it makes me feel so guilty, so ashamed of myself. The world is full of so many problems that are way more important than mine. Still, I can't get rid of this pain, and it scares me that someday…this dark feeling will never leave.”

You’ve run out of words, and the last of them vanish in the air like the sound of cork pulling out of an emptied bottle. The silence isn't uncomfortable, and you’re grateful that Leonardo allows you to come to yourself.  

The room becomes less dark when he lights a cigarette, creating a puff of sweet smoke. The man’s deep voice sounds like a lullaby, and you press yourself closer to his wide chest, where it’s safe, where it's home.

“I’m an engineer, cara mia, and hardly know a thing about art and stuff.”

A weak smile, the only one you’ve had on this never ending day, carves your lips.

“...but lemme say this. No vehicle is safe to use if you ignore the rumble. Humans are way more difficult than vehicles. And so are their feelings. Learn to accept them, reveal them, that's the only way you don't destroy yourself from within. Happiness doesn't come when sadness is neglected.”

“So, in other words…you cannot see the light without darkness?” you mumble, enjoying the feeling of his voice, scent, words and touch getting through your skin.

A hoarse chuckle is your response. “Couldn’t say it better. You’re good with your words, principessa.”

You slowly sink into the healing yet still so painful abyss of dreams, listening to the melody of Leonardo’s heartbeat. His arms are on your waist, warm, almost hot. Lumiere’s tail tickles your legs. The night is finally kind. 

There are indeed days when you have to face your demons. But if you have people ready to stand with you no matter what, then this battle is worth fighting.   

[lokorum]

Your art so surreal, did you take inspiration from African masks it’s amazing. You have probably gotten this question before but what’s your process and how do plan these beautiful pieces out. I am a beginner artist and would like some advice on how start doing digital painting.

thank you for bringing me back from the dead with your kindness, (i was so sad today ughhhh i think watching vampire diaries starting to affect me hjkhjk), i really, really deeply thankful that you spend your time to write something so sweet (also sorry it took me literally ages to reply phphp THE USUAL)

yeah, in buryatia shamanism like the big thing, so when i went to search what's out there in the masks department - google's mess of the results for once was helpful and showed this massive collection of beautiful african masks. the one that was inspo for tiisha lived in my head rent free for weeks before the character was even born phphph now i cant even imagine her without it 

(here is little tiisha for you before i'll proceed to be not helpfull phphphph)

oof advices are not my strong side , like..........my process mostly is just sleep through the whole thing i guess..........................i very rarely do sketches, i hate study anatomy and perspective, drawing cubes makes me physically sick etc etc my approach to drawing were "fuck around and find out", always about chill and fun and barely ever about learning. imho thats why im so shitty at drawing simple things but not bad at coloring. so yeah, my biggest advice always and forever will be - be gentle to yourself, please

digital or traditional or whatever else is out there, dont forget you make it for yourself and for yourself only okay? it supposed to be fun, not sad tiring and competitive 

advices for digital specifically tho - very objective, apply with caution

learn all the keyboard shortcuts, ideally to press them without thinking 

explore more instruments than just brush. it will be tedious and sometimes feel like a chore so mb pick one victim once a month and browse youtube for a stuff like SECRET ULTIMATE TIPS ABOUT MAGIC WAND TOOL THAT WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE (they indeed will save your life) 

check if your drawing program has artboards - turning it on will give you more freedom over canvas positioning  and your refs will always be there and not in the separate window 

idk about others but using auto tone, auto contrast and auto color often gives me well needed perspective on what im doing 

in 99% cases be sure that you can reanimate even the most messiest artpiece you ever did. working in digital gives you the chance to mess with shapes, colors and perspective at any time so if you dont want to gave up on something - you absolutely didnt have to

from time to time while you are still learning - go out there in the wilds and search for the new brushes. tweak with them if you want. i have like ~500 and i use 6 max, but those 6 i found by at some point trying to draw with all of the 500

MADE. BACK UPS. and i mean not like save layers just in case before merging them (tho that's too will help) no, i mean click SAVE AS once an hour and create A NEW FILE. PLEASE. i lost so much stuff to sudden power outage. its never pretty and you loosing will to work for days

watch at least one tutorial about the whole rgb srgb and cmyk thing - i did, understood not a thing, but at least im not playing dora the explorer with my colors after the export now 

uh idk think thats it? tried to think about those that id hope i knew when i started so hopefully something will help 

have fun with your drawings!! 

[smurfs-insideout-au]

Emotion Smurf Bio/Refs

Here is the list of all of the emotion smurfs,along with links to their original posts,designs and informations (be warned: it's long af). For the boy smurfs,there will be two versions: one with hair and one without hair. You can draw them as either of those.

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Smurfsunflower (emotion Joy volunteer)

Oc by @thedarkqueen14

Link to her original post: https://www.tumblr.com/thedarkqueen14/770302465572732928/next-is-introducing-azaleas-best-friendwho-is

Smurfsunflower (she/her) is a loveable sunshine who is in charge of the Smurf grove's cleaning team and best friend of Smurfazalea!!

A very optimistic and happy Smurf who sees light in everyone,taking any chance she gets to spread the joy and positivity to everyone. A kind and helpful one,who is indeed very happy to help. She is also packed with good leadership skills,knowing how to keep everyone in place and can be the voice of reason whenever tension strikes

However,under that positive smile is the disturbance that she hides to herself,as she can be rather passive-aggressive at times and is pushy about her way of positivity. This leads to her having a rather negative side to her optimism,pushing her ways a bit too far and even tries to change those she views as "not positive enough".

The reason for this is because of the destruction of the original Grove location that changed her life forever,with her having a very hard time adjusting to the sudden changes. She uses her happiness as a protective shield,but doesn't realize it's cracking.

Now this cute and peppy Smurf early volunteers in the project as the role of "Joy". She's very excited to meet you all!!!

—-—-—-—-—-—

Smurfpigment (emotion Joy volunteer)

Oc by @funnibluecreturs

Link to her original post: https://www.tumblr.com/funnibluecreturs/747935198720720896/just-going-to-finally-post-smurfpigmentss-design?source=share

Smurfpigment (she/her) is the Color Expert of the Smurf Grove Village and the older sister of Smurfgraphite.

Pigment is the go-to Smurf if a Smurf could use some color to their day! Literally and figuratively! She is known for her cheerful and supportive nature, giving positive affirmations and encouragement. She also acts as an older sister figure to not just Graphite, but to any Smurf she comes across with.

The destruction of the previous Smurf Grove Village motivated Pigment to work on her self-defense skills. After the devastating event, Pigment was inspired to create her infamous color bombs after a potion mishap (the first color bombs she made were so strong it made her previous house explode to pieces.) Pigment can also be a little reckless at times, which is why there are moments her color bombs can get set off at unpredictable times. She can also slip up and can let her emotions get the best of her, especially if she feels Graphite is being treated unfairly.

Despite that, as a Smurf who wants to serve as a role model, she tries to put her impulsiveness aside. She's very compassionate and understanding of other Smurfs, even those who are misunderstood, like Grouchy for example since she doesn't really judge him for his attitude.

Pigment becomes one of the volunteers of the Emotion Project, volunteering as the role of "Joy" after Sunflower. She wants to understand what it's like to be an emotion in the brain!

—-—-—-—-—-—

Writer Smurf (emotion Sadness volunteer)

Oc by @thedarkqueen14

Links to his original posts: https://www.tumblr.com/thedarkqueen14/764417871570993152/updated-reference-sheets-for-writer-and

Writer Smurf (he/him),the author with a sorrow attitude and Brainy's older twin brother. Both glasses smurfs hail from the same stork delivery,at the same time. Writer is considered the older one due to his more mature personality.

Writer was once an energetic,reckless and adventurous fellow,with a passion of traveling here and there to find inspiration for his books. The reason why they're well received is because of his input of reality plus fiction. However,a careless move of opening the forbidden "Pandora's box" has changed his life forever. Cursed to become permanently sad and drown in tears. Yet,he overcomes this and is trying to become better

Currently,Writer has become a reserved and shy Smurf who can cry at the drop of a hat. That's not to say he's basically Weepy,but he's not. He's more of the type to constantly looking melancholic. He has also grown a huge guilt complex ever since the curse,leading his confidence to shatter and drowning in constant self doubt and highly criticizes himself. Yet,he harbors great empathy,along with kindness and maturity of an older brother.

Writer has a pessimistic view of life. To him,there's no such thing as true happiness,but only those that can be enjoyed throughout their lives,even if it's small and insignificant. He explores a lot about the Smurf mind and loves learning about it,using his writing medium to convey his knowledge and his experiences.

Despite the sadness,he's doing much better now,thanks to the help of his younger brother;his beloved boyfriend,Painter;and his friends,old and new.

Now,Writer is one of the first volunteers for the project,taking the role of "Sadness". He helped Brainy out a lot during the process,too.

—-—-—-—-—-—

Scaredy Smurf (emotion Fear volunteer)

Canon character (Art/design by @thedarkqueen14 )

Scaredy Smurf (he/him),the Smurf who gets scared of everything and anything,whether it's a small insect or a large storm.

Scaredy bears a fearful and anxious nature,making it hard for him to do anything without thinking the worst of it or finding worry about anything. Tho,because of his jittery nature,he's great at keeping others safe,as his insight has proven to be very useful. Scaredy is quite shy and isn't much of a talker,mostly due to the fear of being shut down

The scaredy cat does possess great strength,speed and agility at times,mostly when he's provoked. Despite his cowardly nature,he is willing to build up courage to do the things he's normally afraid to do,for the sake of saving his friends or needing to face responsibility. Scaredy is also very honest and has a hard time lying,due to his guilt complex

Now this loveable coward of a Smurf has gathered his courage to join this possibly dangerous project,as the role of "Fear". He may or may not be regretting this later,but at least he's trying.

—-—-—-—-—-—

Dragonfruit Smurfling/Pitaya Smurfling (emotion Anger volunteer)

Oc by @thedarkqueen14

Link to his original post: https://www.tumblr.com/thedarkqueen14/764866902969499648/dragonfruit-smurfling-or-pitaya-is-a-manmade

Dragonfruit Smurfling (he/him),or known as Pitaya,is a manmade Smurf,created by a kind witch,being raised under her care. However,when she passed away,she gave him to her son to take care. The son,drenching in alcohol from the stressful and unfair life;started to neglect and abuse the poor smurf. The young one eventually survived when the man tried to sell him for some gold. He was lucky to be found and adopted by a Smurf Grove called "SmurfSnapdragon".

Pitaya is an aggressive and violent child,using destruction as a defensive mechanism. The young Smurf is also quite the hothead and rude to others,having trust issues and anger issues. He doesn't mean bad,he's like a spicy kitten,hard to open up.

But under that hard shell is a bumbling and chaotic lil child,full of fun and mischief >:33 Pitaya is also a smart one and can be quite mature,with great observing skills. And if he likes you,he can get clingy as well. This is due to his separation anxiety and claustrophobia.

Now,Pitaya has volunteered to become one of the emotions in the project,as "Anger". He's convinced by his older sister to join and learn more about emotions.

—-—-—-—-—-—

Snob Smurf (emotion Disgust volunteer)

oc by @theskybug

Link to his original post: https://www.tumblr.com/theskybug/764722753800716288

Snob Smurf (he/him) has a nasty attitude, high nose and is obsessive with cleaning and keeping his looks tidy. He is a waiter for Chef Smurf’s kitchen. Helping around the kitchen with serving food, preparing meals. But mostly the cleaning. Despite that cold heart, he really does care for the village and secretly has a crush on Chef. Even through everyone knows it, but hates admitting it. (He's in the Tundere category because Azazel and Sky said so)

Once you get to know him. He’s not so bad lf you manage to stick around long enough that is. snob actually used to be a kind and helpful Smurf, until Gargamel captured him and used a powerful personality changing spell, leaving behind some features. With sharp teeth and attitude, as well a burn like scar of his chest. (A Spell burn) he was saved just in time before gargamel could fully turn him into a monster.

Now. Snob signed himself as one of the emotion volunteers. Known as ‘disgust’ (he is silently regretting it)

—-—-—-—-—-—

Draftsman Smurf/Drafty (emotion Anxiety volunteer)

Oc by @thedarkqueen14

Link to his original post: https://www.tumblr.com/thedarkqueen14/770303376904847360/and-finallymy-last-bean-for-tonight-is-draftsman

Draftsman Smurf (he/they),or Drafty for short,is an aspiring new artist in the creative crew,experimenting with new art styles and mediums to draw

Drafty wishes to be the best at it,he has always been! Packed with enthusiasm,a touch of zest and lively energy,they are known to learn things quickly and is able to practice nonstop until they master it. This has garnish them a good chunk popularity within the Smurf community. This popularity can have them to grow a tad arrogant,rubbing off his talent in front of others just because he can,and will get aggressive if anyone tries to defy his hard work

Behind the arrogance is a fumbling,incredibly anxious Smurf who is constantly looked at by smurfs. Putting on a high pedestal ever since they were known as "Perfectionist Smurf",this Smurf is always afraid of losing or falling behind. Their mind is a hive of endless negativity and self criticisms,always thinking about the worst that could happen. That's why he's always prepared! Tho being prepared so much leads them to be neglectful of their own mental health.

Their anxiety has lead him to have stomach issues,easily getting nauseous and sick.

Now,Drafty joins in the project as the infamous "anxiety". He wonders if he could learn a thing or two about his conditions. Nah,he's fine!

—-—-—-—-—-—

Enamoured Smurf (emotion Envy volunteer)

Canon character (art/design by @theskybug )

Link to his original posts: https://www.tumblr.com/theskybug/771639956156383232/enamoured-smurf-hehim-is-the-villages-romance

Enamoured Smurf (he/him)is the village’s romance and love master, Known as the Cupid of the Smurfs.

He is polite and can be the sweetest around, Enamoured is also a huge sucker for romance, yet he's a hopeless romance who has trouble finding a partner. Talking about it to reading about it, gushing over love stories and even spying on couples. He has this thing called ‘the love vision’ where he can see a certain Smurf ‘duo’ would develop into a couple or not. (He’s mostly not wrong)

Despite loving Valentine so much, he also hates at the same time,because he’s single,as he takes the holiday very seriously. He likes to invite others to the ‘single mingle’ club and have tea, show off his baking skills as well.

Unlike canon Enamoured,this Enamoured has evolved from just falling in love with Smurfette,now to become the best romance expert,dating counselor and true love connoisseur

Now adorable Enamoured wants to set foot or rather his mind into the emotion volunteering as ‘envy’

—-—-—-—-—-—

Butterfly Smurf (emotion Embarrassment volunteer)

Oc by @theskybug

Link to his original post: https://www.tumblr.com/theskybug/770728626182373376/butterfly-one-of-the-sweetest-innocent-like-of

Butterfly Smurf (he/him) is one of the sweetest, cutest Smurfs of the crew (or village) with a shy, curious personality. Loves a little adventure who tends to wonder about and others had to find him.

Butterfly has a huge fear on any kind of bird, including storks. Although he’s somewhat more comfortable with storks than the rest of the birds. Which Smurfs used storks as their transportation for long distances. The reason for this fear, when he was a smurfling during a little camp trip that papa promised some little ones. Butterfly wondered off again not expecting to face to face with a rare magical bird,whose ability is to make a horrid screech,loud enough to make you become deaf. Which is how butterfly became profoundly deaf in the first place, using sign language as his main communication all his life (includes a little note book in his hat) It annoys him through, since not many knew sign language and missed out alot.

That’s until later, his life completely changed when he fell in love with partly blind Smurf named Archer Smurf ( @thedarkqueen14 ‘s oc) who later gifted butterfly magical earrings,which was helped by Papa Smurf and Handy Smurf. The earrings allowed butterfly to ‘hear’ as long as he wear it. The gift was given during a date,where Archer asked Butterfly to be his boyfriend,who in turn said "yes"

Now butterfly happily and bravely volunteers the emotion known as ‘embarrassment’ he’s excited to meet you all!

—-—-—-—-—-—

Smurfgraphite (emotion Ennui volunteer)

Oc by @funnibluecreturs

Link to her original post:

Smurfgraphite (she/her) is the Sketch Artist of the Smurf Grove Village and younger sister of Smurfpigment.

Graphite is an introspective and reserved Smurf, known for her usually stoic nature. Back then, she isn't really talkative nor does she interact with the other Smurfs very much unless it's Pigment. That is until the disastrous event involving the previous Smurf Grove Village. This pushed her to get out of her comfort zone and start talking to Smurfs more.

Graphite isn't as emotionally expressive as others and she tends to think deeply about dark topics. She also can doubt or underestimate her own self-worth. But she also has a dry sense of humor, making jokes while keeping a straight face. Despite not being as emotionally expressive, she does feel very deeply and expresses her feelings through her artworks, a lot of her drawings have hints of melancholic tones to it, that is... If she's not making absurd drawings. And despite her gloomy nature, she's not really a pessimist.

Graphite volunteers for the emotion "Ennui." She's not satisfied until she gets a deeper understanding about emotions.

[lurkingshan]

Every You, Every Me

Story 4 (Part 2)

Picking up from where we left off.

Man, you should NEVER butt into a harassment situation without actually knowing what is going on. I would have left, too.

Sad, though, I was hoping for more sex and dick jokes instead of drama.

This plot has taken a weird turn. And kind of a boring one tbh. I don't really care about this Phukan drawing credit conflict. Let's get back to what we're here for, please.

Thank you, show 🙏🏻

Ope, James from the flashbacks is indeed an ex. He looked so uncomfortable at that marriage proposal? Weird vibe since it seems they didn't actually break up, but perhaps just a weak acting moment.

I love it when romance shows remind us it's fine and normal to have significant past relationships and people can love more than one person in their life and there's no need to be weird about it.

Okay that said this love confession and "I can't live without you" feels pretty fast for these two.

This shot through the shower curtain is strange, it's making Sian look like a ghost.

Hell yeah, rip the towel off! I love that we keep seeing shots of those painted blue nails.

Sian looks gorgeous in the window in that morning light.

Oh no he's singing... okay it's not nearly as bad as a lot Thai drama singing, I survived.

Cuuuuute montage during that song.

It must be said though that "you're my favorite musical note/you're my favorite work of art" are such cheesy lines.

Hahahaha little brother you really need to start knocking.

HEY THEY ARE MONTAGING ACROSS THE STORIES ALL OF A SUDDEN

OMG @twig-tea was right!!!! They are actors making a series of BLs yasssssssssssss

"You and Your Beautiful Soul" is the show they're currently making.

Is this breakup scene yet another BL, or the real guys?? OMG

New names Pun and Inn (which matches with the previous brief glimpse of BTS). I think these are the actual actors who have been playing all these other characters.

FIAT IS BACK

YEP, they showed up to set upset from their breakup.

"You're not me, you don't understand." WTF that line is the same as in the breakup we just watched.

Oh, so they breakup and make up frequently.

Who is this sassy tall man 👀

Ope, and next week we seem to be staying with this story of the actors instead of changing up again. This has been the real narrative all along, and it tracks well with the stuff I noted in my binge watch--the changing names, the performances getting better as the episodes go on, the way the physical intimacy differed so much and built to be stronger across each story. All of that makes perfect sense if they're an actor pair working together across multiple shows and getting more seasoned and comfortable as they go. Such a smart concept. I'm curious if we'll learn when they started dating and about the arc of some of those previous breakup and makeups against their BLs. I hope so!

[primordialsoundmeditation]

Words for these Times

(I've copied and pasted with tags since that's the best way to be sure you get to see it.)

Hopi Indian Chief White Eagle commented a few days ago on the current global situation:

"This moment that humanity is living through can be considered a door or a hole. The decision to fall into the hole or go through the door is yours.

If you consume information 24 hours a day, with negative energy, constantly nervous, with pessimism, you will fall into this hole.

But if you take the opportunity to look at yourself, to rethink life and death, to take care of yourself and others, you will go through the door.

Take care of your home, take care of your body. Connect with your spiritual home. When you take care of yourself, you take care of others at the same time.

Do not underestimate the spiritual dimension of this crisis. Adopt the perspective of an eagle that sees everything from above with a broader vision.

There is a social demand in this crisis, but also a spiritual demand. The two go hand in hand. Without the social dimension, we fall into fanaticism. Without the spiritual dimension, we fall into pessimism and futility.

You are prepared to go through this crisis.

Grab your toolbox and use all the tools at your disposal. Learn to resist by the example of the Indian and African peoples: we have been and continue to be exterminated.

* But we never stopped singing, dancing, lighting fires and having joy.

Don't feel guilty for feeling lucky in these difficult times. Being sad and without energy doesn't help at all.

* Resilience is resilience through joy!

You have the right to be strong and positive. You have to maintain a beautiful, cheerful and bright posture.

This has nothing to do with alienation (ignorance of the world). It is a strategy of resistance.

When we walk in the door, we have a new view of the world because we have faced our fears and difficulties.

This is what you can do now:

- Serenity in the storm,

- Keep calm, meditate daily,

- Make a habit of encountering the sacred every day.

Demonstrate resilience through art, joy, trust and love."

From Hawk Henries : ( I honestly don't know if the identity of Chief White Eagle is real. Real or not the essence of this message feels important to consider)

And additional comment from one of his fans:

Yes, very good advice indeed! Yes, he was a real person, a chief and a poitician who died in 1914. He fought for Indian rights and homelands during their most troubling times when they were disposed form their native lands and wantonly killed. But, that is why history is important, right? Most of what he speaks to can be applied to certain times affecting the human condition thru history; this is one of those times, so his wise words are both a balm to the soul and a roadmap for going forward into the future.

I'll put the Wiki link in the comments.

Thank you for finding this timely message, Michelle Heddinger!

Mara Clear Spring Cook

[autistichalsin]

My case for Halsin x Art Cullagh as a ship

First of all, these are two characters with a LOT in common. Both are intimately tied to the Shadow Curse. Both lost everything because of it: Halsin lost his homeland and Thaniel, while Art lost (temporarily) his sanity and would eventually lose his life to it.

Both care very deeply for Thaniel (and, later, Oliver). Thaniel was Halsin's first friend, who "made (Halsin) who (he) is today", while Thaniel helped Art in the Shadowfell. Thaniel played with both of them. Both of them felt protective- one might say paternal- towards Thaniel. Art tells the player that Thaniel is a sweet soul- too sweet for the Shadowfell- and he can't wait for the player to meet him.

Both are kind, gentle souls with a strong sense of justice and a call to do right in the world- Halsin by fighting against threats like the Shadow Curse and the Absolute, Art by being a Flaming Fist.

The link through Thaniel is strong (and not just in the "Thaniel has two daddies" sense). Thaniel tells Art about Halsin; Art repeatedly says that Thaniel told him that only Halsin can save him, that Thaniel "spoke of little else".

After being comatose for who knows how long, when Art startles awake and calls out for Thaniel, the first person he sees- and the first person to speak to him- is Halsin. Halsin, who instantly kneels to softly, kindly tell him to relax and breathe- a heartwarming way to be introduced to someone (and indeed, the devnotes say, "warm. Good bedside manner.") As soon as Halsin mentions that he too wants to help Thaniel, Art recognizes him, saying in shock (perhaps amazement?) "You're... you're Halsin," before repeating his request that Halsin find Thaniel. Which Halsin instantly agrees to, but repeats that he needs Art's help, and Art gives it.

When the curse is lifted, Halsin tells the player how sad he is to be leaving Thaniel's realm, how he hopes Thaniel and Oliver will stay as a pair because then they can have a friend after he's gone... clearly missing them, but knowing he has a greater mission in stopping the Absolute. What does Art say if you talk to him in the act 2 epilogue? That he feels Thaniel should have someone with him when he wakes, so he's staying. One might even argue that Art staying is the reason Halsin felt so comfortable leaving- sad, yes, but not worried. He knew Thaniel and Oliver were in good hands with Art. He trusted the two halves of his best friend to Art.

Art knows, tragically, that he's going to die soon after. He mentions it to the player, and in the epilouge, he sends this note to the player:

To an old acquaintance, I write to you from the sunny porch of the Last Light Inn. A light breeze blows now and then. People are milling in and out - builders, visitors, the children of all ages in Halsin's care. I can no longer hold a quill, or eat without assistance - a kind friend is transcribing this for me. Thaniel, re-joined with Oliver, has promised to be with me when the end comes, and as our old songs drift on the wind, ever louder, I know I have mere days left. But I do not fear it. If not for your help, this land would still be shrouded in darkness, and I'd still be lost within it. Know that my heart is full and happy, and I am grateful for my last moments. Do visit some day. And if you have time to stop by an old Flaming Fist's grave, I know I'd love to see you. Art Cullagh

Halsin and Art are still in contact. Art lived long enough to get to see Reithwin being reconstructed- by Halsin. Halsin lifted his shadow, Thaniel and Oliver's shadow, and brought Art peace during his last days- including the peace of having his close friends with him as the end comes. And presumably, Halsin himself stays- it's hard to imagine that Halsin, of all people, wouldn't.

They just work really well as a tragic ship, brought together by loss and heartbreak.

Fittingly, that extends into scenarios when one of them dies. If Halsin dies before act 2, or dies when the portal collapses, and the player tells Art this, he is heartbroken- while he frames it primarily in terms of being sad the curse can never be broken now, he must also be sad that Thaniel's friend has been lost, too.

And if Art dies (either because Last Light fell or for some other reason) and the player learns what they need from Art's corpse? Well.... let's just say that Halsin has some VERY strong things to say for someone he barely knows.

Halsin: That is what I needed to know. It should be cause for joy, but... that poor man didn't have to die.

Player: His existence was worse than death. Now he's at peace, and we have what we need.

Halsin: True. But are we still deserving? Only time and nature can tell.

To think that he might not be worthy any longer of breaking the Shadow Curse because a man he barely knows died is.... quite an intense emotion. Almost illogical, and Halsin is an extremely reasonable person. Make of that what you will.

Alternatively:

Player: There was no other way.

Halsin: You can claim it so... but I don't think it will ever be true. Oak Father willing, we will soon lift the curse from this place. But I suspect a shadow will linger here, because of what was done to that man.

Again... these are VERY intense emotions. Understandably so, of course- Art was clearly Thaniel's friend, and he suffered so much only to die. But if Last Light falls, MANY people die besides Art, yet Halsin is focused on him- the only other person he mentions with quite this much grief is Isobel, and even she doesn't get a mention from him here. "A shadow will linger here, because of what was done to that man"? Not "what was done to those people" or even "what was done to Art and the others"? It is.... a very interesting way of phrasing it.

In conclusion: Halsin cares Art A LOT, Art deserves peace and happiness, and Thaniel and Oliver deserve two daddies. Flaming Bear is the ultimate tragic doomed ship and we are sleeping on this ship

[rxttenbxnes]

Hello! Do you have any fun headcanons to share about Idia? Honestly, I just find it painful to see how badly this guy gets butchered in headcanons sometimes. People always forget that he is in fact a complete ass with a massive superiority-inferiority complex and not just a sad boi, or they overplay the weeb part and ignore how he has other interests like science and art, or they make him too pathetic by assuming he would still be a blushing incoherent mess like a year into marriage, etc. Anyway, it’d just be nice to hear the headcanons of an actual Idia fan since that’s the only way to get anything sane.

Omg totally, first I'mma do a little rant, I'll make sure to label where the HCS begin so y'all don't have to read my rants 😭

܀⊹ ིྀ🕸 ۫ ִ ׂ💭 ◟♡ ˒ ⊹ ݁ ִ  ۫🎮ೄྀ⊹܀

❱❱﹒⟡﹒𝑅𝑎𝑛𝑡﹢﹒🎮

Okay we gotta acknowledge the fact idia is indeed, an asshole you guys. 💀Well not completely obviously but he's not just gonna be nice to you for no reason. He's not just some depressed dude needing sympathy.

The way Idia is so Infantilzed by the fandom it's actually gets me tweakin, You guys this actually makes me mad, he's not some sensitive bottom uwu boy that stutters 50 times every sentence In fact I honestly cannot see him being submissive half of the time, this man is actually a asshole on the low. Most people get the fact that idia would be submissive from his shy and closed off personality which is just SO wrong to me.

Idia is extremely pessimistic and if we're being real Idia is actually not a good narrator for his own experiences, the constant self deprecation mixed in with his his thoughts about being superior to others is so fascinating to me, one moment he sees himself as nothing but a piece of trash while in the next moment he's boasting about how he's the only one component enough to be ignihyde's dorm leader. He's such a complex character I can Yap about him constantly

I get making jokes and stuff but some people genuinely think idia is some stinky incel creep that hates women and just purposely chooses to not go outside and be chronically online. Like yeah, he has nerdy and loser like hobbies but this man literally has trauma and chronic depression, along with an anxiety disorder, it's not something he can just make disappear. He likes science, engineering, art, anime, games etc which is all just cool, it's not like he's some creep that's afraid to talk to people, nor is he some super submissive guy that'll fold for you in a tiny interaction.

Had to get ts off my chest 💀

܀⊹ ིྀ🕸 ۫ ִ ׂ💭 ◟♡ ˒ ⊹ ݁ ִ  ۫🎮ೄྀ⊹܀

܀⊹ ིྀ𝐼𝑑𝑖𝑎 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠 🎮ೄྀ⊹܀

🎧 Caramelldansen. Idia adores this song unironically. At first he had just saw the meme and quickly ended up falling into the whole thing, laying on the floor completely dazed out of his mind as the colorful lights flash in the background from the music video playing on repeat lol

���� I said this in my earlier post but Idia definitely draws his crushes all the time. Luckily he has a little self control and draws anime/manga characters in most of the pages, he's really protective over his sketch book due to 1.) His social anxiety and 2.) The fact that he doesn't want anyone to know that he likes drawing and observing people, especially his crushes.

🎧 Idia constantly has his headphones on, I know of a fact that Idia listens to Nightcore, anime OSTs, Vocaloid, animation meme music, Vkei, video game sound tracks and breakcore religiously. I think idia would honestly listen to everything he can get his hands on

🎮 I feel like he had a 2020 alt kid phase lol. I feel like quarantine would've been his time to thrive, his peak enjoyment of life would be set during this time lol. Being able to express himself like he wanted without others seeing??? Sign him up

🎧 Ironically, he's not super weak. I feel like he just sucks at physical activity, especially running since he doesn't leave his room much. His hands/fist are definitely strong, I feel like he has a strong hit.

🎮 That being said, I think Idia’s hands are large, thin and boney. They definitely have a few scars and calluses from all the machinery he works with, you can't tell me that his hands aren't pretty rough.

🎧 Idia is a fashion icon, in games. Not irl, he would never due to the attention it would grab him, though he definitely is into all of the alternative and Gothic fashion stuff. He'll give his characters the most perfect and pretty outfits and make sure everything is customized perfectly, not mind at all if it takes him hours to do so.

🎮 This man definitely collects figures. I feel like they're all anime and video game figures; he's even commission artist and such to make custom work of his favorite interest and brag online about it.

🎧 Has an habit of repeating words and phrases he likes over and over again. It doesn't matter if it's from an obscure meme that literally only 5 people including him know or if it's in a different language, he'll constantly reference and repeat it like no tomorrow.

🎮 He's a biter. He bites a lot of things randomly, he'd bite someone out of love if he got the chance. I'm telling you he'll just naw on random stuff, not caring if it's edible or not. It could literally be a plushy and he'll randomly bite it while he's hugging it.

🎧 Idia definitely finds confort in the rain and gloom weather. Really, he just enjoys typically gloomy things. It's extremely comforting and relaxing to him to just be able to sit on his bed with his headphones on while it rains harshly outside, making the world around him dark and gloomy.

🎮 Curses, like a lot. Gamer rage is real you guys and he definitely has it. If he loses a game too many times or gets too frustrated with his teammates, he'll curse like a sailor. His anger isn't directly to his teammates or anything, it's of him being frustrated with everything in general.

܀⊹ ིྀ🕸 ۫ ִ ׂ💭 ◟♡ ˒ ⊹ ݁ ִ  ۫🎮ೄྀ⊹܀

[klapollo]

“Madame Morrible, if you please,” said Elphaba, “we never had an opportunity to discuss the Quells that you recited in the parlor last week.” “Discuss,” said Madame Morrible with a generous though shooing wave of the bangled hands. “Well, Doctor Dillamond seemed to think they were in questionable taste, given the Banns on Animal Mobility.” “Doctor Dillamond, alas,” said Madame Morrible, “is a doctor. He is not a poet. He is also a Goat, and I might ask you girls if we have ever had a great Goat sonneteer or balladeer? Alas, dear Miss Elphaba, Doctor Dillamond doesn’t understand the poetic convention of irony. Would you like to define irony for the class, please?” “I don’t believe I can, Madame.” “Irony, some say, is the art of juxtaposing incongruous parts. One needs a knowing distance. Irony presupposes detachment, which, alas, in the case of Animal Rights, we may forgive Doctor Dillamond for being without.”

“So that phrase that he objected to-Animals should be seen and not heard-that was ironic?” continued Elphaba, studying her papers and not looking at Madame Morrible. Galinda and her classmates were enthralled, for it was clear that each of the females at opposite ends of the room would have enjoyed seeing the other crumple in a sudden attack of the spleen. “One could consider it in an ironic mode if one chose,” said Madame Morrible. “How do you choose?” said Elphaba. “How impertinent!” said Madame Morrible. “Well, but I don’t mean impertinence. I’m trying to learn. If you- if anyone-thought that statement was true, then it isn’t in conflict with the boring bossy bit that preceded it. It’s just argument and conclusion, and I don’t see the irony.” “You don’t see much, Miss Elphaba,” said Madame Morrible. “You must learn to put yourself in the shoes of someone wiser than you are, and look from that angle. To be stuck in ignorance, to be circumscribed by the walls of one’s own modest acumen, well, it Is very sad in one so young and bright.” She spit out the last word, and it seemed to Galinda, somehow, a low comment on Elphaba’s skin color, which today was indeed lustrous with the effort of public speaking. “But I was trying to put myself in the shoes of Doctor Dillamond,” said Elphaba, almost whining, but not giving up. “In the case of poetic interpretation, I venture to suggest, it may indeed be true. Animals should not be heard,” snapped Madame Morrible. “Do you mean that ironically?” said Elphaba, but she sat down with her hands over her face, and did not look up again for the rest of the session.

-wicked: the life and times of the wicked witch of the west (1995), gregory maguire

[bluenpjm]

CLOUD9 AGENCY ☁ JJK X OC

Ⓒ bluenpjm — all rights reserved. do not repost, translate, or claim as your own.

synopsis.  faced with decisions that can change the course of her career, the art director of the cloud9 agency decides it is time to act and reignite the flame she had once lost. and all because of an intern… genre.  non-idol au ; slice of life au ; intern!jungkook ◦ fluff ◦ angst ◦ smut pairing.  JJK x OC rating.  M wordcount. 4.8K warnings.  foul words, sad vibes and life not making sense, drinking, arguing, lying, just a lot of different feelings!  a/n.  after months without being able to form a sentence, I couldn't be more pleased to be able to continue this series. to everyone waiting, thank you so much and I hope you enjoy this rollercoaster! chapters. 4 — 5 — 6

Just as he had promised, Jungkook texted Carolina the day after. He continued doing so the day after that, and the one that came next. Slowly but swiftly, he attained Carolina’s friendship back. 

Some days, their exchanges would be as simple as the man sending something funny he saw online. Others, especially when the messages deepen into the night, they would text for hours. They had comfortably conquered a perfect streak ever since that day in Carolina’s apartment. 

Today, however, Carolina hadn’t had the opportunity to reply to Jungkook’s message. In fact, her head was in a twist over the message he had sent her the night before. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever. Let’s hang out. She was up for it, no doubt. But she already had plans that were impossible to cancel. And if she said so, he would ask. Jungkook was as curious as he was shameless. So, she struggled between simply pretending she didn’t see the message and unequivocally not telling the truth. 

Could it really be considered misleading if she was omitting information? In Carolina’s textbook, yes, omitting information was, indeed, a synonym for a bad thing. 

Inside Carolina’s apartment, the energy is a mix of anticipation and enthusiasm as she and her friends busy themselves preparing for Jae’s surprise birthday party. Their situation over the last month had turned… complicated, to say the least. It somewhat resembled the chaos that had taken over her home. 

Balloons in various colors cover every available surface, some swaying gently in the air while others lazily drift on the floor. 

Deo had done the favor of gracelessly opening up yet another bag of balloons, despite the ones unattended at the table, with such force that resulted in them spilling all over, creating a small hazard that Hyori rushed to solve. Lu and Sarah were neatly hanging streamers crisscrossed along the walls, filling the room with bursts of color. They had also raided Carolina’s stash of fairy lights, draping them around the room like twinkling stars, the perfect feed photos already forming in their minds. 

A makeshift photo booth had been set up in one corner, complete with an assortment of quirky props and a backdrop adorned with glittering stars and shimmering curtains. “This is going to be a great makeout spot,” Deo muses as she admires the final result, the old curtains brushing on the floor providing full privacy inside.

“My room is off limits,” Carolina says loud and clear for the room of single ladies. 

“Noted,” Sarah pretends to take a pad and pen from her jeans back pocket and scribble on it. “Hookups on the balcony and bathroom only.” 

“And photo booth,” Lu adds with a smirk. 

“Kitchen counter could also be a good spot.” Hyori's giggle sounds far more innocent than her statement and if the girls in the room hadn’t been acquainted with her already, they would be shocked as the words didn’t match the delicate and innocent features of the girl.

The owner of the apartment can’t help but laugh at the witty comebacks of her friends. Drifting away from the photo booth, her gaze wanders deeper into the living room. There’s still a soft smile adorning her features as she surveys the space around her. She’s pleased with what they had done so far, but something was still missing. Determined, she approaches the coffee table, hands reaching out to grasp its edges, only to be met by another pair. 

“Let me help you,” Lu’s smile reaches her eyes as they carry out the one-person job. 

Removing the coffee table opens up the space for people to move around the sofa and as they rest it near the corner, their hands fall to their hips, admiring their not-so-hard work. Carolina purposely ignored Lu's curious stare on her, focusing instead on the task at hand. However, Lu's intuition couldn't be ignored for long. 

“What's up?” Lu asks, her voice soft, contrasting against the backdrop of laughter and chatter. Their eyes met briefly and the girl senses there’s something on Carolina’s mind. “You seem a little lost—more than usual, at least.” 

Carolina hesitates for a moment, her smile faltering slightly before she replies, "All good. Just thinking about how to make sure everyone has a good time tonight." Her attempt at reassurance fell a little short.

“You guys okay?” Lu's question hangs in the air.

“Oh, yeah! Peachy,” Carolina tries to brush off the concern, knowing that the photographer would see right through her. The room was too crowded and if a single word from this conversation was caught by any of the other girls present, Carolina would be in trouble. Although everyone meant well, she did not feel like chatting about this right now—or ever, for a matter of fact. 

“I won’t press…” Lu sighs, helpless, sensing Carolina’s discomfort. “But you know I’m here.” 

The last sentence is barely heard as Deo’s voice calls out from the kitchen. Seizing the opportunity, Carolina steps away. 

“Thank God,” Carolina whispers as she reaches the youngest in the room. “What do you need?” 

Ignoring the initial comment, Deo goes straight to the point, “We’re out of ice. You should text one of the boys so they can bring it.” 

“Why don’t you do it?” Carolina raises her eyebrows, suddenly amused. “You have Hobi’s number.” 

“I am currently in the process of getting over him and the feelings I made up in my mind. If you want all your drinks to be warm, don’t ask for ice.” The passive-aggressive phrase is accompanied by an all-aggressive smile. “Also, can I borrow your phone to put on some music? Mine’s about to die.” 

Carolina nods and Deo takes the phone. The owner of the device notices as she texts Hobi first before searching for the music app. She rolls her eyes fondly at the stubbornness of her friend. “You should at least give him a chance.” 

“Mind your own business,” Deo sings as her eyes scan through the playlists. “He’ll be nothing but trouble.” 

As Deo’s about to return the phone, a new notification pops up, immediately catching their attention. jjk.97 sent you a video slides on her screen, a silent reminder of the text that was pending an answer from her end. Despite the turmoil, Carolina suppresses the urge to scream.

Deo remains silent as she waits for action. Just a few nights ago, they had discussed this whole Jungkook and Jae situation. On one side, the latter was dependable and gentle, a signal of safety that Carolina had started to enjoy. He was a sort of human Golden Retriever that always seemed to make her days better. On the other side, though, loomed Jungkook. Despite the pain that Carolina had somewhat managed to forget, Jungkook still had the power to evoke butterflies with his simple, albeit silly, texts. 

Without exchanging a single word, Carolina silently navigates through her phone settings, silencing all notifications from Jungkook for the next 12 hours. Her heart feels a little lighter. 

“Let’s see if that’ll be enough to take him off your mind,” Deo sticks out her tongue before disappearing into the living room. 

“Brat,” Carolina shakes her head before moving into the living room and continuing the preparations for the party. 

Not too far from Carolina’s kitchen, Jungkook was at his friends’ apartment. The room’s loud, filled with laughter and chatter from the two tenants, but if he had to be honest with the pair, he hadn’t heard a single word for the past half hour. Sitting on the edge of the couch, phone in hand, Jungkook had been scrolling through TikTok. He would always do this, but he had spent today’s watch time in stealth mode, carefully selecting the best ones to send to Carolina. Their chats would leave the message apps just to be continued on the video platform and he loved it. Teasing Carolina with videos had easily become one of his favorite hobbies and it was his way of keeping the conversation alive, of staying connected to her. 

Today, however, there was no response. For the millionth time, he unlocks his phone and glances at his messages. No reply and no bubble signaling typing. She had left him on read and it was gnawing at him. He missed her. He wanted to see her. And he was too close to throw a tantrum. 

Of course, every possible scenario had crossed his mind. At first, he assumed she was busy. She fell asleep during their conversation last night and today had a packed schedule. It had happened before. But then he got to thinking about whether something was wrong. And after he had gone through all the probabilities, he started to freak out. Was she avoiding him? 

Jungkook’s fingers hovered over his phone screen, contemplating sending another message, when he was jolted back to reality by a sudden snap. Jimin’s fingers were right in his face. 

“Hey, what do you think, JK?” Jimin asked, his eyes searching his for a response. 

“Huh?” He sinks onto the couch and finds Taehyung looking at him as well. “I wasn’t listening.” 

“The plan for tonight,” Jimin clarifies, raising an eyebrow. He hated when he had to repeat himself. “You’ve been zoning out for a while now.” 

“Yeah, sorry man.” Jungkook runs a hand through his hair. “I was just… thinking.” 

“About the art director?” Taehyung is quick on his feet. He might’ve forgotten the girl’s name, but he sure was curious to know more about her. She got Jungook talking about his feelings out in the open and that was a first in the long years they’ve been friends. 

“Yeah,” Jungkook smiles sheepishly just thinking about her and immediately regrets letting his guard down as his friends’ eyes widen and they suddenly become interested in whatever kind of confession could come out of his mouth. “I just… haven’t heard from her all day.” 

“Oh, I remember her!” Jimin remarks but he lies. Regardless, he’s excited. “So, what’s the deal with you two? You like her, she likes you..?” 

Jungkook hesitates, glancing at his phone again as if waiting for some sort of rescue from it. “Well, we’ve been texting a lot. And I think we got a good thing going. But it’s still unclear.” 

Taehyung crossed his arms over his chest after ditching his phone that wouldn’t stop ringing on the coffee table. “So, what are you waiting for? A signed letter of forgiveness? Maybe she’s just busy today and didn’t have the time.” He gets up, rilled up after seeing Jungkook so sadly slouching his shoulder. “Why not just drop by?” 

“What?” Jimin and Jungkook ask at the same time, confused. 

As Taehyung strides from one side of the room to the other, his hand falls into his pocket, an idea forming in his head. “Yeah, grab her some flowers or some food and drop by.”

“What about our plans?” Jimin whines and Taehyung is quick to dismiss him. 

“I don’t know man. I don’t want to come off as too pushy or desperate.” Plus, Jungkook knows that Carolina most likely wouldn’t dig the flowers. 

“Dude, you miss her right? Sometimes, you gotta go for it.” 

Jimin nods in agreement. “Sometimes all they’re waiting for is a gesture. So, show up and tell her how you feel. It’s been more than time.” 

Jungkook looks between his two friends, their excitement infectious. And if he stopped to think about it, it hadn’t been the first time that showing up unannounced to Carolina’s apartment had paid off. “You really think so? What if she’s got plans?” 

Taehyung’s phone buzzes on the table again. “Jesus Christ man, who’s trying to catch you?” Jimin comments annoyed at the noise before turning his attention to Jungkook again. “You just gotta roll with it. At least she’ll see you’re serious about wanting to spend time with her.” 

Jungkook exhales, “Alright. Maybe, I will.” 

“Atta boy!” Taehyung claps him on the shoulder, smirking. “Just be yourself. She already likes you, man.” 

“Yeah—yeah, you’re right!” Chest filled with his inflated ego, Jungkook smiles confidently. “I’ll drop by her place later.” 

Jimin cheers, throwing his hands up. “That’s the spirit! Now, let’s finish this game, and then you can go win your girl.”

As the game resumes, Taehyung adds, “And remember, if all else fails, just be extra charming. It works for me... sometimes.”

Jimin grins, “And bring food. Everybody loves food.”

The banter continues and Jungkook, amongst the sound of laughter, the buzz of the city outside, and the support of his friends, starts to believe that maybe—just maybe—tonight could be the night he finally tells Carolina how he feels. 

Electricity can be felt in the air as everyone rushes to hide. The sound of hushed whispers and stifled giggles fills Carolina’s apartment, blending with the soft rustle of fabric as friends duck behind couches and crouch next to the available furniture. 

Carolina’s heart raced widely from the moment she got Jae’s call. She’d lied effortlessly, telling him that, as per usual, she was running late and invited him to wait inside. It was a white lie, but still, it had left her nervous. In reality, she had been nervous about this party and her feelings for Jae for some time now. Everything was a whirlwind of emotions that made her head spin and made her feel lost. The silence in the apartment was almost oppressive, the only sound Carolina was able to make out was her own shallow breathing and the pulse pounding in her ears. 

Jae knocks on the door, and Carolina feels like her heart is going to leap out of her chest. She quickly opens it, the darkness inside the apartment swallowing him up as he steps in. For a brief moment, it’s like the world freezes. Then, in a synchronized shout, everyone screams, “Surprise!” 

The lights are immediately flicked on, revealing the grinning faces of friends and the vibrant decorations hung around the room. Jae’s eyes widened in genuine surprise, his face lighting up with a joy that made Carolina’s heart swell. Everyone in the room can tell that he is touched by the gesture, and his smile is infectious. 

Without hesitation, the birthday boy crosses the room and pulls Carolina into a tight embrace. As his lips met hers, the world seemed to tilt slightly. The kiss was everything one would expect from a rom-com—passionate and heartfelt—, yet something’s missing for Carolina. The room erupts into cheers and Hyori swoons the hardest right by Namjoon’s side. 

Carolina can hear the whoops and hollers, the clapping and laughter, but it all feels distant, like background noise. With her mind racing, she notices how Jae’s kiss is warm and soft, his hands gentle as they cupped her face. She is aware of the dozens of eyes on them and it makes her feel exposed and vulnerable in a way she hadn’t anticipated.

Breaking the kiss slightly before Jae does, Carolina’s cheeks are flushed not just from the kiss but from the intense scrutiny of the audience. “Let’s drink!” The hostess tries to act nonchalantly and Jae looks at her with a mix of happiness and adoration, oblivious to her inner conflict. He’s beaming, clearly thrilled by the surprise and the kiss, while Carolina forces a smile, hoping to match his enthusiasm.

The party quickly shifts into full swing. Laughter and chatter fill the apartment as drinks are poured and people mingle. The living room is a blur of color, the decorations the girls had worked so hard on during the afternoon glittering under the lights. The sound of clinking plastic glasses and upbeat music create a backdrop to the best surprise party of the year. 

Carolina found herself slowly relaxing as she moved through the party while making sure everyone was having a good time. Deo, Hyori, Sarah, and Lu soon gather around the karaoke machine, pulling her with them. 

The opening notes of Wannabe by Spice Girls fill up the room. 

Deo took the lead, carrying out the iconic lines shamelessly after only a couple of drinks in her system. Hyori and Sarah danced along, their voices harmonizing perfectly. Lu added her own flair to the performance, twirling and striking poses that had everyone laughing. Carolina joined in but mostly with her phone, as this was a moment she did not want to forget and needed to record it.

Meanwhile, the other guests enjoy drinks and chatting in small groups. The photo booth, as predicted, was a hit. A couple stumbles out of it, laughing and clutching a strip of photos, their faces red from the flash and the drinks. The party’s alive with energy. 

As the song comes to an end, the room erupts into applause. And, of course, Carolina and her friends took exaggerated bows, their faces flushed with laughter and exhilaration. Carolina is quick to pass the microphone to the next singers as her body slumps onto the couch with Lu and Sarah by her side, their laughter still ringing in their ears. They lean back, slightly breathless. 

“That was amazing! I felt like I was 15 again,” Lu giggles, eyes sparkling with excitement. 

Sarah nods, still catching her breath. “I still can’t believe I remember the lyrics. We should form our own Spice Girls tribute band.” 

Carolina laughs, outfits already forming in her mind to fit every one of the girls. “We’d be a hit at every party.” 

Lu grins, nudging Carolina with her elbows. “Speaking of hits, this party is fantastic. Look at everyone having such a great time. You did an incredible job organizing it.” 

Carolina smiles and looks around the party. She easily spots Jae across the room, chatting warmly with Namjoon and Hyori who had run back into the latter boy’s arms. Meanwhile, Deo and Hobi had lost themselves on the balcony, taking cute pictures together, their giggles so loud they occasionally drifted back inside. “Thanks, Lu.” 

“You really nailed it, Cece,” Sarah adds, leaning back with a satisfied sigh as she too adored her hard work. “This is exactly what Jae needed.” 

Carolina nodded, taking in her words. “I’m glad everyone’s having a good time. I’m going to grab a drink from the kitchen.” 

As Carolina returns to her friends, cup in hand, she notices something amiss. The front door to her apartment is swung open, a crude light ruining the party’s ambient. Jae is standing there, looking into the apartment with a curious expression. Standing in the doorway, looking equally confused, was Jungkook, his face twisted into an awkward smile. 

“Oh shit,” Carolina’s heart skips a beat, a sick feeling washing over her as she rushes to them. The two boys who had taken over her heart were facing each other without even knowing who the other was. She felt a lump form in her throat as she approached them. 

“What’s up, guys?” She does her best to sound casual despite the rising panic. 

Jae turns to her, a puzzled look on her face. “I was just about to come find you. Heard someone knock, and then found him at the door.” 

Jungkook’s smile falters slightly as he looks between Carolina and Jae. “I tried calling but couldn’t reach you. I didn’t know you were having a party,” He tilts his head slightly and Carolina can tell that he’s trying his best to understand everything happening inside her apartment. “Just dropped by to see how you were doing.” 

“Come on in, man! It’s my birthday and this lovely lady over here decided to surprise me.” Jae side-hugs Carolina, his arm wrapping around her shoulders. 

“Good thing I brought this, then!” Jungkook hands a bottle to Jae without even looking at him. His eyes are laser-focused, trying to burn into Carolina. She never mentioned this guy before and a million questions were starting to form in his mind. “Happy birthday—”

“Jae.”

“Jungkook.” 

They shake hands, the tension palpable as their eyes meet briefly. 

“So, how do you know each other?” Jae asks as Jungkook enters and closes the door behind him. 

At that moment, Deo appears, her eyes widened by the sudden sight. Before Carolina can even begin to form a word, Deo swings her arm around Jungkook’s and says in the most friendly tone possible, “Through me! JK and I are long-time friends. Come on in, I’ll introduce you to everyone!”

Deo quickly leads Jungkook into the party, her arm still looped through his. Carolina only has time to trade some glances with Deo, silently thanking her for the quick save, before Jae steals her attention yet again. 

“Great guy!” Jae is chipper, oblivious to who Jungkook is and what he means to Carolina.

At that moment, it was like time stopped and the lump in Carolina’s throat had gotten so big that it was keeping her from breathing. Things were already bad—she didn’t like the fact that she had been masking it for the past weeks, and now amplified by Deo’s well-intentioned but ultimately disastrous lie, it was gnawing at her insides. She felt like she was about to explode. Her mind was rushing with thoughts and emotions, each one more overwhelming than the last. 

Ultimately, Carolina’s biggest wish was to march up to Jae and tell him the truth—about Jungkook, about the lie Deo had just plastered in their faces, about them, and her feelings. She wanted to clarify that, although they’d been having fun and he was a great guy, it wasn’t fun anymore. Yet, to have her peace of mind, she would have to ruin the party—the party that she had painstakingly planned. She had planned every detail to ensure Jae had the perfect birthday, and now it was all teetering on the brink of disaster. 

Putting on a brave face, she plasters a smile and nods along as she finally loses Deo and Jungkook in the crowd. But inside, she was unraveling. Pretending that someone had called her, she quickly excused herself, “I’ll be right back,” she said, her voice strained but steady. “Go have fun.”

Carolina refuges herself in the kitchen. Out of all the places at the party, it was the quietest, and finally, she’s able to let out the breath she had been holding. It’s shaky and she tries to dig her nails into the napkins. The facade drops and she feels the tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. Bringing her cup to her lips, she downs the liquid in one gulp, the bitter taste numbing her from the chaos in her mind. She immediately pours herself another drink. “Get a grip!”

As the evening wore on, the party showed no signs of slowing down. The apartment was alive with a symphony that consisted of laughed and animated music. The vibrant atmosphere was almost enough to mask the tension Carolina felt. 

Eventually, the moment everyone had been waiting for arrived: the birthday cake. The lights were dimmed, and the room filled with the flickering glow of candlelight. A hush fell over the guests as the cake was brought out, candles blazing atop it. Jae stood at the center of the room, his eyes twinkling with delight as he took in the scene.

As the familiar strains of the birthday song filled the air, Jae reached out for Carolina, pulling her close to his side. He wanted her there, wrapped in his arms, as everyone serenaded him. Carolina felt a pang of discomfort and forced a smile, trying to match the joyous energy of the moment, as she could feel Jungkook’s gaze on her, heavy and intense, like daggers piercing through her.

As the song drew to a close, Jae took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and made a wish. His face lit up with a beaming smile as he blew out the candles, the room erupting into applause and cheers. Carolina clapped along, forcing a smile, but her mind was elsewhere.

Jae turned to her, his eyes sparkling with gratitude and affection. He gave her a quick squeeze, his joy evident in every gesture. “Thank you for this,” he whispered in her ear, his voice filled with genuine appreciation. Carolina nodded, her smile faltering slightly as she glanced around the room.

The guests began to dig into their slices of cake and Carolina took advantage of the fact that everyone’s focus was on the sweet to slip away from Jae’s side. 

Carolina steps out onto the balcony. The city stretched out before her, its lights twinkling like a starry sky. Leaning against the railing, her slice of cake droops in its plastic plate, forgotten in her hand. Chocolate cake—Jae’s favourite. She sighs as she closes her eyes, the cool night air a welcoming friend from the heat and noise inside.

“Quite the party you got going here.” Jungkook’s voice startles Carolina. Her hand flies to her chest as the sliding door of the balcony is slammed behind him. “My invitation must’ve gotten lost.” 

“What are you doing here, Jungkook?” Carolina’s voice is stern, her patience running thin. It was the same tone she used when they worked together. Jungkook hadn’t seen it often, but each time it happened, he knew he ought to tread lightly. 

“I came to check in on you.” His eyes are sincere as he takes a step towards her. “I honestly got worried that something was wrong.” 

Carolina huffs at his response, her irritation bubbling over. Of course he did. She turns to face the city again, her back to him. 

Jungkook doesn’t appreciate the lack of response so he continues, now standing right by her side, close enough that their arms brush. “Had I known you were throwing your boyfriend a party, I wouldn’t have come, obviously.” 

“Excuse me?” The sarcasm in Jungkook’s voice makes Carolina see red. If she could, she would have punched him in the face right then and there. “First of all, he’s not my boyfriend. And even if he was, I don’t remember you being the boss of me, so I don’t have to inform you of anything.” 

The answer doesn’t exactly please Jungkook and he presses his lips before gaining the courage to speak again. “You’re right.” 

Carolina sighs deeply, fingers finding her temples and massaging them for a while. “You should leave—” 

“Do you like me?” Their eyes meet briefly only for Carolina to roll them. Impatient, Jungkook continues, “Or him? Do you like him?”

“It’s complicated.” She replies. “And—again—none of your business.” 

Apprehensive, Jungkook decides to face the city. “Do you remember the first time we kissed? In my car, when I took you home?” Carolina hums in response and takes the opportunity to admire his side profile. She notices how he plays with his lip piercing and how much darker than the night sky his eyes are. “I had been wanting to do that for months. I had the biggest crush on you ever since the moment I laid my eyes on you.” 

“I—” Carolina tries to speak, but Jungkook cuts her off. 

“Then I fucked up and you already know the whole story. My point is that in all that time, I never stopped thinking about you. And now, that we’re friends—can I say we’re friends?” 

“Sure,” Carolina bites her lip, slightly flustered at the man’s monologue. Jungkook gives her a small smile. 

They are engulfed by silence for a second. “I actually came in here to do more than check up on you.” His head hangs low and he laughs, suddenly feeling shy. “I want to be more than your friend. I want to kiss you again like we did in my car. And after the club. I can’t take you out of my mind. And I don’t want to hide this from you anymore.” 

“I appreciate you finally disclosing what you want or what you feel. I really do.” They are back at facing each other. “You have been a pain in the ass to deal with and I hated the fickle thing you made this to be—I made this to be. Because it’s not. and yet I can’t give you more than this at the moment.” Realizing the course of her words, Jungkook can’t help the frown that falls on his features. “It’s not fair for Jae. Or for me for that matter. He’s not my boyfriend but he came close to being something for me, so I need the time to think about this mess. You can’t just barge one day in my life when you’re finally ready and just—you get the gist.” 

For a moment, Jungkook is at a loss for words. “I understand that. Yeah—I get it.” He speaks almost in a whisper. “We’ll speak soon then, Cee.” 

“Jungkook,” Carolina calls out. He looks heartbroken and it’s painful to see. 

“Great party, man.” Jungkook doesn’t look back and his words to Jae who was standing on the other side of the door aren’t accompanied by a smile. 

“Thanks!” Jae steps foot outside, confused. “What happened?” 

Carolina sighs. Damn surprise parties. 

[ chapter 6 ]

☁ want to be tagged in the next part? comment below or send me an ask!

[blackswaneuroparedux]

My mother was right: When you've got nothing left, all you can do is get into silk underwear and start reading Proust.

Jane Birkin

...or spend one night in bed with Brigitte Bardot. As a much older male literary friend once said to me , one night with Brigitte Bardot would make up for not reading Proust and answer any existential questions one would have about life and meaning.

Unfortunately most of don't have that luxury and so the next best thing to do is to try and read Proust.

‘À la recherche du temps perdu’ (In Search of Lost Time) is a novel dedicated thoroughly and deeply to love. In a sense, it serves as a compendium of the different ways we can love, do love, and should love. Of course, one of its central insights is into the ways that we shouldn’t love - whether that means loving the wrong person or in the wrong way. If you’ve ever wondered whether Proust is more about love or heartbreak you realise, once you’ve actually read him, you realise you can’t cleanly separate the two. Proust routinely explores the very specific strain of sadness that can only occur in romance. In doing so it is also in part about virtue, vice, prejudice, and folly.

Reading Proust expands your universe and your inner life for at the core is a set of big, wonderful, difficult questions about life.  Here are a few of them: how we can feel at home in the world; how we can find genuine connection with other human beings; how we can find enchantment in a world without God or if indeed is it possible; how art can transform our lives; whether an artist’s life can shed light on her work; what we can know about reality, other people, and ourselves; when not knowing is better than knowing; who we are really, deep down; what memory tells us about our inner world; why it might be good to think of our life as a story; and how we can feel like a single, unified person when we are torn apart by competing desires and change over time.

Moreover to read Proust is to read about ourselves through someone else trying - and ultimately failing, as we all fail - to capture the past. We are interested in our pasts, not least because our past has made us what we are. Our past is filed with treasures and disappointments, missed opportunities, and regrets, all of which fascinate us: the full value of the treasures can never be recovered, but as compensation we have the rest to mull over as we sip our tea and take a bite of a Madeleine.

RIP Jane Birkin (1946-2023)

[just-someone-who-likes-to-write]

Delayed Fate

(A/N): Hello everyone this is my first fic where I don't take requests ((And first Namor Fic!))but get ideas by spinning three wheels in an app. One wheel has characters that I like, Second sentences that I will be using, the third is the AUs it would be set in. The third Wheel has only Soulmates AUs, but if I got inspired I might add another AU to future stories, just to make them more interesting. Without further or do, I hope you enjoy this one.

Character: Namor / Ku'ku'lkán

Alphabet AU: A...Aging stops at 18 until you find your soulmate so the two of you can grow old together.

Sentence number: 40 - "Anywhere with you is everywhere I want to be."

Warnings: black panther forever spoilers, angst, mentions of injuries, fluff at the end, grammatic error. (If i missed any warnings please tell me.)

Word count: 9,724

Aging can be a terrifying process for most.

Growing older, becoming weaker, your body changing in ways you didn't expect or understand, and having to depend on others for the smallest of things. It is indeed terrifying. That is why some people would try and stay young as long as possible, and it's not by doing the usual thing where they would use pharmaceutical products or do surgeries. But they would be going as far as doing everything in their power to not meet their soulmate, the one person who they are meant to grow old with, to finally start their life together.

In this world, people stopped aging after their 18th birthday, when they are meant to go out and explore the world and meet people in hopes that one of them is their destined partner. But meeting a soulmate is like a cruel game of guessing because you would have to spend significant time with this person in order to see if you aged or not. When realizing that none of them aged the partners would either break up immediately or stay together for the sake of not being alone, but as said before, others would do everything in their power to disconnect themselves from people for the sake of an immortal life, which is foolish since there is no true immortality, everyone dies in the end, either by fate or beside the one they love.

That's why after (Y/n)'s 18th birthday she did not waste time and ventured into the world to meet people and have new experiences in hopes that one day she would meet the one who is meant for her and her for them. Now, the longest a person stayed 18 before meeting their soulmate was less than 50 years, so imagine her surprise, disappointment, and sadness when she spent almost 300 years alone.

In the first 100 years (Y/n) was crying, not only because she still haven't found the one, but also because she saw how the world around her was going by fast, her family was dying, her close friends who already found their soulmates were growing older, forcing her to be left behind as everyone around her was living their lives. She realized that she doesn't have a place around in her hometown so she decided to leave and find a home somewhere else. During her 200 years, she explored everything she could, the different cultures, learned different languages, and learned how to fight to protect herself from those who found out about her "Situation" and wanted to use her. Shield reached out to her and asked to help them build their organization with the promise of tending to her every need as long as she lived and she took it.

(Y/n) even came across magic users, which lead her to meet the ancient one who helped her accept this long life of hers, she stayed with them a good 40 years, learning what she could about magic since she did not have the talent for mystic arts. During that time (Y/n) has already several homes around the world, thanks to the money that she was investing and the money that Shield would provide her with, she owned several weapons, mechanics, firearms, and even traditional weapons. One day she heard of an artifact in the corners of Nigeria that might hold some magical power, she didn't know what it was but she knew that if it was dangerous she needed to keep it with her or at least deliver it to the ancient one.

That's how she met King T'Chanda and found out about Wakanda.

She remembered the look of pity he gave her when she told him her story, maybe that pity is the reason why he extended a hand of friendship, and to maintain this friendship she swore that she would never speak of his country's existence. Every few years she would go there and visit him, for a while he was the same as her. He lived as a young man for a long time, which made her understand the look of pity he gave her because he understood what she was going through. So her jealousy was also understandable when she came to visit one day and found him aged a few years with his hand wrapped around a beautiful woman who was pregnant. (Y/n) held no romantic feelings for the king, but she hoped selfishly that he would remain without a soulmate like herself, that she would at least have a friend like herself. But again, she forced herself to accept the reality that she would be alone for a very long time until something came to end her life, but up until that happens she would live her life the best she could.

Now, the great thing about the Wakandan Royal family is that they accepted her as she is, they did not give her weird looks nor did they attempt to experiment on her, like how most of the world acted. She remembered how annoyed she was when T'Chanda made his son T'Chaka call her "Great Aunt" and from then on she was called as such despite her very youthful look. But she accepted in the end and even enjoyed it a bit.

Then (Y/n) entered the 20th century and everything started to go crazy. She could handle the super soldier project because it was kind of expected after seeing in what way humanity's technology was taking, especially in the name of winning a war. Then there was the time when she found out that aliens existed, which means that alien invasion was inevitable so she took the right measures and that was staying away from it, because what can she do? Immortal or not she was still a human with no power, yes she has magical items that can be used as weapons but that would be risking exposing the existence of sorcerers so she decided to just stay back, after all, Fury assured her that he has a plan and that is by assembling a team of heroes.

Where was (Y/n) during all that? Having a very long vacation in Wakanda, where she was helping Shuri test her new inventions and helping her prank her brother. She would train with T'Challa and give him bits of advice that he might need as a future king. And, Of course, she would chat with T'Chaka and Ramonda and even lecture them, which was a funny scene for their children to see them being lectured by an 18-year-old girl. Yes, she had a really close connection to the Wakandan royal family, which was understandable when she helped T'Challa try and catch his father's assassin. (Y/n) got a lot of backlash because of it from Fury when he found out the truth. It caused her to be kicked out of shield, but she didn't care because she knew that if she stopped T'Challa from seeking revenge his anger would have blinded him further, and would have probably rebelled and caused further harm not only to himself and his family, so she allowed him to let out everything from his system knowing, in the end, he would be able to find his own way back.

So it was understandable how happy she felt when T'Challa came back with the said assassin wanting to help him recover after learning why he did what he did.

Then after that in a few years, the snap happened, and (Y/n) did not disappear like half of the universe. Because of Fury's disappearance, Shield contacted her begging her to come back and help them control the chaos, which she reluctantly did. She did not want to go but Queen Ramonda assured her that they will keep in touch and that Wakanda was probably more prepared than the rest of the world, which was engulfed in chaos.

(Y/n) might have lived centuries, but those 5 years felt longer and emptier. Jumping from country to country to help assert order, calling what is left of the Avengers to see if they had anything they could use, and when she has time she would contact Shuri and Ramonda. At the start of her, "immortality" (Y/n) would have depressive episodes that she struggled greatly with but thanks to the ancient one who helped her learn how to cope with it, she thought she got over it but there she was crying in her apartment wishing that all of it would just end, the loneliness is getting to her again and she was afraid that this time she won't be able to escape it.

Thankfully, Scott Lang showed up and gave them the hope to fix all of this. When they finally built the time machine (Y/n) told them that she was going back to Wakanda to tell them the good news, coincidentally, shortly after the time of her arrival the people who had disappeared in the middle of the battlefield materialized back. (Y/n) cried with joy as she saw T'Challa reunite with his family.

After the war was over (Y/n) resigned despite Fury's attempts to persuade her to stay, but she refused because she did not want to be alone anymore. She moved permanently to Wakanda, who welcomed her with open arms. She became an unofficial consultant to King T'Challa, whether it was concerning his people or his love life she was there to aid him, same with Shuri who always told her about different types of shields and weapons that she could create for (Y/n) to protect herself with since she was still just a human, she would keep Ramonda company when her children were too occupied with their work to be with her.

They were her family, her people, but she knew that one day she would have to say goodbye to them as she continued living, but she didn't expect that goodbye would come much too soon with T'Challa.

(Y/n) was with Shuri in the lab trying to help her think of how to bring the plant back to save him, if they could turn back time to save half the universe then why not bring back an extinct plant to save their king. But when T'Challa asked to see them, (Y/n) went while Shuri stayed back saying that she was so close and can't waste time.

"I… I have a request to make-" His words were cut off by a harsh cough, which caused (Y/n) to hurry to his side in an attempt to soothe him.

"Don't strain yourself." She lectured but T'Challa shook his head and waved his hand to those who were in the same room extracting them to leave them alone, before turning back to her.

"My great aunt…" He murmured with a tired smile, which caused (Y/n)'s heart to ache as she fought back tears.

"I know that I might be asking too much of you…" he uttered between gasps as he struggled to breathe. "Take it … as a dying man's … final wish…"

"Don't say that, Shuri and I will find a way to bring back the plant and you will be good again." she assured. "Just … please hang on a little bit longer."

He just smiled at her, which caused (Y/n) to break into tears, T'Challa squeezed her hand as a way to comfort her but it only made her cry more as his hold was also weak.

"I'm sorry to have caused you more pain…I know you had gone through enough loss… but…my time is coming soon, I can feel it." He tried to reason but (Y/n) only shook her head, refusing to acknowledge such truth. T'Challa decided to continue.

"Please look after them…" He finally confessed. "Not my mother and sister only…"

(Y/n) immediately understood the implication and looked at him and nodded as she wiped her tears.

"And don't tell Shuri…she is not ready… at least not now."

Throughout her life (Y/n) saw many different reactions to loss. Some cried and screamed until they had nothing else to let out. Others raged out, breaking everything in front of them and even fighting others. There are those few who ignored it and continue with life as if nothing had happened, very few accept it. but the reaction that she saw the most of, was acting hastily and irrationally. Whether it was by saying something they don't mean or doing something that they might regret later thinking it was the best decision while they were high on emotions. Both (Y/n) and the queen understood that things weren't safe enough to bring T'Challa's son, not only the world but also Wakanda, and if Shuri found out she would probably demand that the boy be brought back or she would go to him, which would risk his safety because they still don't know how she would act when she does meet him. So after the King's death, Ramonda and (Y/n) grieved with Shuri and did their best to help her cope with her emotions.

After a year of isolating herself in her lab, Ramonda decided to take Shuri out one night so she might connect with her daughter again, which (Y/n) encouraged. She expected many reactions after their return.

Anger, more sadness, neutral as if nothing happened, and the reaction she hoped for was happiness and acceptance, but what she did not expect was both of them to return with a look of pure fear and worry.

"There was this kid- well he looked like a kid but he isn't, he has wings on his ankles!... he just comes out from the water and started making demands-" Shuri was trying to explain to (Y/n) who was lost and trying to understand her.

"Shuri, breath dear, who are you speaking about?" (Y/n) Asked with great concern.

"He said his name was Namor."

When they explained her situation more clearly, (Y/n) to try and help them come up with a plan on what they should do, she told Ramonda how some will agree to just give him the American scientist to do whatever he wants with them and that others will demand a fight. She must be the neutral ground so that they won't dare judge any decision she makes. So she decided to just bring the scientist, to at least be protected by them, and then on they would negotiate with this "Namor" person.

"What if we took great aunt with us?" piped in Shuri and her mother and Okoye's not so whispered conversation. "Maybe even call in my favorite colonizer."

Ramonda was hesitant when she thought it was only Okoye and Shuri but having the great aunt with them reassured her a bit, that's why (Y/n) can't imagine how she must be as she stared up at the walls of the cave around her. She was the first to wake up after she, Shuri, and Riri were taken by the blue soldiers whom she assumed were Namor's. The women that were assigned to them, who were also blue, motioned for her to come with them, giving sleeping Shuri one last look (Y/n) hesitantly followed her to a room covered in murals, and in the middle of it He stood.

"I assumed you are Namor?" She questioned, earning his attention.

When their eyes met (Y/n)'s heart thumped heavily against her rib cage, her body felt as if something washed over her as if something was lifted, and looking at him she could tell he probably felt it too because he gave her a look of bewilderment. Before any of them could say anything another woman came and told him something and he replied to her an order before she bowed and left.

"It looks like the princessa is awake." He stated, his voice causing a shiver to go down her spine.

"If you dared to harm her, I swear to-"

"All of you surface dwellers are the same, always marching to fight without thinking." He replied.

"Says the guy whose people ambushed us on the bridge and then kidnapped us."

"If I remember correctly it was you who came to me willingly."

"And allow you to kill an innocent soul?"

"I will kill thousands if it meant the safety of my people!"

Before she could reply to him Shuri came in and stood between him and (Y/n), in an attempt to protect her after hearing his last statement.

"And if you dared to harm my great aunt it would be you who dies next!" She threatened while glaring at him.

"Great aunt?" Repeated Namor with a puzzled look as his eyes darted between Shuri and her. then it clicked, and he focused on (Y/n). "How old are you?"

"You know … up there it's rude to ask for a woman's age." (Y/n) jested as she deflected the question, not trusting him enough to tell him anything about herself.

Having a closer look at the boy in front of her she realized that he was also around her age, he had a lean yet fit body, and his face was bare from facial hair, the thing that is giving him some sense of maturity was the accessories that he wore but from the way that he was acting he must be like her, stuck in this young body until they met their significant other, she didn't know if he was older or younger than her but what she does now is that this long life can have different effects on people, and since he was so determined to protect his people to the level of taking innocent lives she can tell he was unbalanced.

He asked to talk to Shuri privately since she was only true royalty of Wakanda, but (Y/n) still insisted to keep a safe distance so she can see them, and every now and then her eyes met his when Shuri wasn't paying attention, it's as if he was examining her and she couldn't blame him because she was doing the same thing to him. (Y/n) protested when he offered for Shuri to see his home but the princess assured her that she was going to be safe, when she did come back after what felt like forever she was met with a tight hug.

"I'm fine." Shuri assured as she hugged her back.

"I'm just glad that you're back safe." (Y/n) pulled away enough to examine the princess, then glared at Namor who chuckled at your actions.

"Great aunt I'm fine… it… it was beautiful!" Shuri exclaimed excitedly.

Shuri started chattering away to (Y/n) about the city that she saw, the Talokan, its people, and the "sun" that he had built for them, Namor was right beside them listening in, probably to make sure she doesn't tell too much.

"She is the first from the surface to come to Talokan." He confined before pulling out a bracelet to give it to Shuri. "Please take this as a token of our gratitude."

Before Shuri could accept his gift (Y/n) stopped him, being suspicious.

"What is it?" Shuri was about to lecture her about being too paranoid, but Namor's answer confirmed her suspicions.

"It was made with the plant that saved Talokan." He informed as he continued to give the bracelet to Shuri and tight on her wrist, he was staring at (Y/n) as if silently challenging her to stop him again before turning back to Shuri.

"You are young, Princess." He Stated. "When you age as I do, you realize we all lose everyone we love."

"But when I lost my brother, it just felt different." Shuri said with grief in her voice. "He suffered in silence. When he finally asked me to help him I couldn't"

(Y/n) hugged her in an attempt to comfort her and the princess leaned into it as she fought tears.

"How does it make sense that the ancestors would give me gifts and skills to help me save my brother, and I couldn't?... Why?"

"I don't have an answer for that question." Replied Namor.

"But I do…" (Y/n) chimed in earning both their attention. "My dear, I won't go into a long rant about what the ancestors were planning for you. I have lived long enough and have come across many religions, but most of them if not all believed in similar things and that life challenges us to become better. It can be a very painful journey, but what I know for sure is that you can never come out as the defeated if you knew how to harvest those talents and skills along with those emotions you can be better, not only for yourself but for everyone around you."

Shuri sat there as if she was not convinced by what (Y/n) just said, even pulling herself away from her hold, which saddened her. Seeing the woman's frown Namor felt the need to comfort her, but he didn't know how until he finally said.

"My ancestors would often say, "Only the most broken people can be great leaders"." Those words earned him the two women's attention again.

"I admire what you have built here." Started Shuri. "And you've protected your people.  But as a princess of Wakanda, I will not stand for you killing that young woman."

They tried reasoning with the king but their efforts were in vain as every time they tried to reason with him, promising him that they will do everything to protect not only his people but also the secrecy of their existence, he refused. Their conversation was cut short when one of his people came and told him that the queen was there to speak with him.

"You said you wanted to burn the world." He said to Shuri. "Let's burn it together."

And before he left completely he gave a glance to (Y/n), which she returned. When they went back to Riri to tell her of the possible upcoming war, Shuri and (Y/n) tried to discuss their next move, not noticing when Nakia came shooting one of the women warriors, then the poor terrified girl who was tending to them.

"We need to go." Nakia urged but both Shuri and (Y/n) refused to.

"Give me the beads I can save her." the princess ordered.

"Shuri, I don't know who this lady is, but we need to listen to her." Riri pleaded, fear clear on her face.

"Listen, I hit her with a sonic round, it is lethal from this distance. There is no chance." Nakia informed.

"You don't understand this will mean war." Shuri argued back.

(Y/n), sick of their banter, pulled Shuri's hands away from the injured girl before pulling her own beads and started aiding her herself.

"Shuri, go." (Y/n) ordered.

"Great aunt-"

"I said GO!"

With that said Nakia pulled Shuri away knowing that there is no time to also convince (Y/n) to come with them, the princess was a priority and both of them knew that. The immortal woman refused to pull away from the injured girl until she was sure that the bleeding stopped, she was so focused that she did not notice when Namor came behind her, and upon seeing the blood he pulled (Y/n) away harshly to kneel beside the girl and hold her head in his hands.

"What happened my child?" He spoke in his language, which (Y/n) did not understand, she was about to say something but stopped when another warrior came and slammed her to the ground pinning her.

"The Wakandans….they came for her." she struggled to speak, before pointing to (Y/n). "She stayed…"

Namor looked to the pinned surface dweller who did not struggle against his warrior's hold, as if to show her submission.

"K'uk'ulkan…." The girl called, grasping his attention again. "Can you save me?"

At her question, Namor looked down at her wound and found it mostly closed and the bleeding has stopped thankfully.

"You are going to be safe my child." He said before turning to one of the warriors and giving him an order, the warrior knelt to pick up the girl and hurried out of the cave.

He stood up and walked to (Y/n), who could only see his feet, but she assumed that he was staring down at her, and he was. Another woman came dressed in red to speak with him.

"They came… while you spoke to the queen?" She questions. "We should not have trusted her, the queen has seen our home, what is stopping them from coming for Talokan?"

"I will…" He replied. "With her here."

Namor order the warriors to bring her to his hut, and even though they did it harshly by pulling her up and dragging her around like a rag doll (Y/n) still did not fight back and kept calm. She was forced to stand in front of him as they were left alone and Namor knew it was a struggle for the woman for he can see how her figure was shaking slightly, yet her face held a stern look.

"You attempted to kill my people." He started.

"You kidnapped their princess, what did you expect them to do? To set back and wait?" (Y/n) shot back, which earned her a scowl from the king.

"If that child have died it would be your head on a spike right now."

"But she didn't."

Namor was in front of her in an instant and grabbed her by the neck and squeezed, not giving her any chance to breathe, and just watched as (Y/n) struggled.

"I could snap your neck like a twig right now and they won't care. The Wakandans have proven to be just as worst as the rest of the surface dwellers after I have shown my home and people to her and you dare to still defend them in front of me."

"B..Because…" (Y/n) struggled to take breaths as she spoke. "You…are a rash … brat!"

With those words Namor let her go, causing her to fall to the ground as she took quick breaths.

"A brat?" He repeated. "I may look young but I assure you I am older than your great great grandfather."

"And I can be your great great GREAT grandmother." She retorted mockingly. "You are not special just because you lived long, because you are not acting it."

"How dare you insult me!" He seethed.

"No." (Y/n) stopped him from talking more as she stood on her feet. "You are the one who came out of nowhere demanded an innocent life delivered to you, and even when you had her you still wanted more. you didn't want peace from the start you just want the war to quench your own rage against humanity."

"They are the ones who threatened my people's existence by exposing their resources, causing them to hunger for it."

"Maybe they shouldn't have done that, but to be fair Wakanda did not know of your people's existence when they revealed themselves they were ready to fight the world by themselves, they didn't know of Talokan, or else it would have been a different story." (Y/n) continued. "Listen, what happened has happened and we cannot change it, but what we can change is what will happen next. Both the Wakandans and I have ways to assure Talokan's safety, we can-"

"I don't need your help!" He bawled. "I gave Wakanda their chance to yield and they threw it away."

"See! There you go again and you say why I call you a child."

Namor reached out to her and (Y/n) closed her eyes and held her hands up ready for pain but it didn't come, and when she opened her eyes slowly she could see that he had stepped back and given her his back as he faced the murals of his people.

"The only reasons you are still alive are two." He said as he turned back to face her, his face suspiciously calm. "The first is because you stayed to save one of my people, which I would be lying if I said I wasn't grateful for."

He started taking a few steps toward her making her take a few steps back until her back touched the door, he stopped in front of her and leaned forward, his face inches from her own. (Y/n) wasn't the same teenage girl who would get flustered over the smallest things, like a charming smile, or a wink but she doesn't understand why was her heart beating fast she was face to face with a man in an isolated cave that she can never escape from, who can kill her at any desired moment. She would have marked it as fear if she didn't feel her face heating up.

"You are welcome." She replied, trying to make light of her emotions. "And what is the second reason?"

"Isn't it obvious?" He asked rhetorically, before looking to the door behind her. "Llévala!"

Suddenly, the door opened almost making her fall but was caught by the same warriors who brought her here, instead of being as compliant as she was previously, she was struggling and demanding to be let go.

"The second reason is for you to stay here as my captive, that if the princess decided to do anything stupid it would be you who will pay for it."

He promised and motioned for his hand for them to take her away, but before she was out of earshot (Y/n) said one last thing.

"Don't do anything rash you brat! It's not only the Wakandans who will suffer!"

Namor believed that those words were a threat, which fueled his determination to go and give Wakanda a taste of who they are going against.

---

(Y/n) was pacing back and forth in her cell, anxiety eating her alive as she was biting her lip until it bleed and nail until it was gone. Looking outside her cell she saw the guards who didn't move an inch since they threw her there, she tried talking to them but they either didn't understand her or just ignored her. Searching for an escape was useless, she did try to use the beads to communicate with Shuri and warn her about Namor but a cave under the sea is hardly the perfect place to find a signal to the surface let alone to Wakanda. (Y/n) made a note to herself to tell Shuri about a possible new upgrade.

She was pulled out of her train of thought when she heard the sound of splashing. She wasted no time and pressed herself against the bars and started to call.

"NAMOR!" She shouted. "Namor! Is that you!?"

Saying nothing the king came from the corner, and looked at her and when her eyes met his own she could feel a chill of fear go down her spine. (Y/n) lived long enough to know what that look meant, but she hoped to any god that is hearing her that what she was thinking was not the truth.

"What did you do?" The question slipped out unconsciously. Namor averted his eyes with an angry huff at being confronted, but in his eyes, she could see a hint of shame, and that filled her with rage. "If you hurt Shuri in any way I promise I will kill you myself!"

(Y/n) saw many people die in her long life, most of them were really dear to her, but no matter how many times she goes through the heartache doesn't become easier, especially if she was there since their birth. The only reason she was able to go through T'Chaka and T'Challa's death was that she had someone to support her and people to look after to distract herself. But here she was alone, in a cave under the sea, facing the man who probably hurt Shuri and not being able to do anything.

"No harm came to the queen." He replied simply, and that fueled her rage.

"I was talking about the princess! Not the queen!"

"She is queen now."

Namor said nothing more as he started walking away leaving (Y/n) to realize what he had meant. Before he could close the door to his chamber he can hear a distant scream of distress and a series of curses of his name. He just groaned as he isolated himself in his room trying to block her voice as he thought about his next step before the week is up. However, he couldn't do any of that for the entire time he was fighting the urge to walk to that cell and stop her from crying, not by yelling at her but by trying to reason with her, to try and justify his actions, how it was the only way. Or maybe it was just to let her let out her anger against him, give her the satisfaction to curse at him, and probably even hit him, which he know will not do any real harm to him.

It drove him crazy, but what drove him even crazier is WHY was he feeling these urges towards a surface dweller. Was it because he understood her pain? To live for so long and see everyone around you die and not be able to do anything to stop it? to not being able to say goodbye to someone you knew since their birth?

He couldn't dwell on those questions more as he realized that it became quiet again, taking the chance that her screams will not distract him Namor went immediately to planning. Determined to bring Wakanda to submit to him.

---

"There is another machine in our waters"

Namor said from outside of the cell as he stared at the back of his immortal prisoner who decided to set in the corner with her back to the exit, completely ignoring the king, which annoyed him. but he couldn't find it in himself to voice this annoyance.

"We will go and destroy it." He informed. "But there will still be a guard over you and a maid to make sure you are fed and looked after."

When he said those words his eyes landed on the bowl of fruit that was untouched and it bothered him greatly. He knew she was immortal and cannot die so easily like himself, but he knew that they were still affected by physical pains, including hunger, and (Y/n) didn't have anything for almost a week now. The only thing he was sure of to keep her functioning was the few sips of water she would take now and then. He did try to trick her once into drinking juice but when he did that she still refused to take it. Whether it was out of grief or she was just being rebellious either way, it saddened him and angered him at the same time.

He didn't even know why was he trying to talk to her now. He tried talking to her since the day he told her of what happened, but she kept ignoring him, making him feel stupid as he had a one-sided conversation, trying to justify what he did and lecturing her on how what she was doing to herself was stupid but she didn't care.

Feeling that he had wasted enough time Namor huffed in anger before turning around to leave, then he finally heard her.

"You are going to regret it."

"What?" He questioned as he turned back to her, but she went back to being quiet. "What did you just say?"

"….You are going to regret it."

(Y/n) finally looked at him from over her shoulder. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy from crying, her hair disheveled and her skin pale from lack of nutrition. He didn't say another as she turned again and gave him her back.

Namor would have probably lashed out at her, confronting her on the threat she threw at him, but she said nothing as he turned back and walked away. it was probably because her voice did not sound threatening or taunting, but rather a statement.

---

(Y/n) eyes tiredly opened as someone was shaking her awake and calling her name in a panic. When the fog cleared up she saw that standing above and holding her in their arm is none other than Shuri, whose eyes were full of tears yet still had a relieved smile on her face. She said something that she couldn't grasp before the young princess pulled her into a hug, and mustering any strength she had left (Y/n) hugged her back as a few tears escaped her eyes.

Looking up she noticed that Namor was standing there the entire time, observing the reunion in silence, but that wasn't what drew her attention, but rather a scratch mark on his face, and one of his ankles was wrapped in bandages, he was wearing a poncho that covered his upped body but she swears she could see more, and deeper scratches littering his body. Their eyes met and looking at him (Y/n) almost didn't recognize him, she didn't know how long she was out for, but she could swear that Namor looked more mature.

"What did you do to her?!" Shuri shouted at the King, snapping him out of whatever trance he was lost in, and turned to her.

"I did not lay a finger on her or mistreated her." He clarified. "She is the one who refused to eat or drink after… the news."

He said the last part quietly as he looked away in shame. When he said that more tears showed on (Y/n) at the memory and pulled Shuri back into a hug, squeezing her as hard as she can, which wasn't a lot but it was enough for the princess who hugged her back crying silently.

"I'm so sorry my dear." (Y/n) said her voice horse from not talking or consuming anything. "I…I wish I was there… I should have…"

"You have nothing to apologize for." Shuri assured as she cut her off. "Let's just go back home."

(Y/n) let out a sound of surprise as Shuri hooked her left arm under her legs and the right one on her back before lifting her up, which shocked the weak woman.

"Are you wearing some type of a new upgrade?.. Because I'm sure that I haven't lost THAT much weight for you to just lift me like I weigh nothing."

Her question made Shuri laugh as she carried her outside the cave, passing by Namor who stayed out of their way and just followed them silently. When they reached the edge of the pool Shuri was moving around (Y/n) to give her the latest update that would help her swim easily even in her weak state. During that, she would steal glances at Namor and each time his eyes never left her. She wanted to say something but couldn't or didn't know what to say, and from his few glances at Shuri, she can tell that he was also hesitant to speak. The sound of reeving power pulled her out of her thoughts as she saw the machine wrapped around her glitter with pulsed energy indicating that it was ready.

"We can go now, just make sure you stay close to me."

She instructed before reaching around her neck to activate the mask but (Y/n) stopped her, which earned her a confused look, but her great-aunt simply turned to the king who was still standing there. Namor's face showed no emotion but he was preparing himself for her to lecture him, insult him, curse him, let out her pent-up anger, and maybe even express her disappointment since she did warn him that his rash actions would cause him to lose in more ways than one. but he didn't count on her to give him a kind smile as if they were close friends.

"I will see you again."

Not a question, but a promise. If the feeling of surprise was obvious on his face then none of the women mentioned it as they dived into the water and left. When he broke out of his surprised state he just scuffed and went back to his chamber where he will paint a mural of the battle that took place against the black panther for his people's history. But in a different part of the room, one where it was mostly for himself he painted the immortal woman, when she interacted with him, when she saved the maid, and when she was his prisoner.

"I will see you again."

The promise echoed in his head, which made him unconsciously smile while he painted her smile, secretly excited and hoping for the next meeting to come soon.

---

(Y/n) sat on her private beach under the umbrella with a book in hand, trying to relax but her eyes kept scanning over the same paragraph without absorbing any of the words as she kept recalling what happened on her last visit to Wakanda which was last week.

"I'm sorry, what??" (Y/n) exclaimed as she stared at the screen that the A.I presented for both her and Shuri, who also was in disbelief.

"Your body aged 2 years." Griot repeated as he held up 2 pictures of (Y/n) on the glass screen and started noting the slight differences. "There are discreet changes, for example, Your muscles and bones have grown stronger, your weight changed, which brings up your metabolism lowering very slightly, but it is still noticeable like the start of wrinkles showing around the eyes and acne surfacing-"

"That's enough, Griot." Shuri cuts him off as she stares at (Y/n) who was in shock.

She always knew that she was still a mortal despite her long life but for it to finally start to come close to an end without her being aware of it was overwhelming. Shuri did not leave (Y/n)'s side since they found out, she did her best to comfort her great aunt, even starting teasing her and listing to all the possible people that she had met that could be her soulmate, but (Y/n) shot every possibility down for she already had someone in mind and instead of explaining it to the now queen of Wakanda she excused herself to have alone time.

Shuri thought that when she said she wanted to be alone was to be left in her room until (Y/n) was ready to talk, she didn't expect to talk to her great aunt via call scolding her on when and how she left Wakanda without saying anything. But they worked it out. And here she was now, convincing herself that she just needed time to think about what to do next and how to approach the situation when she was in fact too afraid to actually face it.

"So this is where you have been hiding?"

A familiar voice asked making her jump away and take a fighting stance, an instinct she has from years of fighting and being ambushed, but she stopped when she saw that standing in front of her was none other than Namor, but he looked different.

"Did you grow a beard?" Was the first thing that came out of her mouth, which made him chuckle.

"Yes, it is nice to meet you again too." He replied sarcastically.

Namor still looked young except for the small amount of facial hair that looked well taken care of, and he felt her staring because he subconsciously reached his hand to his face and started scratching his beard as he averted his eyes.

"I always wanted to grow one but never got the chance with my body stuck at a certain age." He started explaining. "You could imagine my surprise when a few months after my battle with Wakanda that hair started to grow on my face."

His eyes then met hears again, none of them saying anything but the silence was loud enough for (Y/n) to understand what he was trying to say. Saying nothing the woman sat back down at her spot but this time made space beside her and patted it encouraging the king to set beside her, which he hesitantly did. They stayed quiet for a long time before he finally spoke.

"You have your own part of the sea?" it was more of a statement than a question.

"It's called a private beach." (Y/n) explained. "You can imagine how crowded and dirty public beaches are, and since I have a lot of money I bought my own, not even fishing boats are allowed around here."

"This part of the water did look cleaner as I came closer and the creatures beneath are thriving from the lack of fishermen and filth."

"I do my best to have my own little piece of heaven in this world." She shrugged, trying to hide some of the happiness she felt from his comment.

It was silence again between them, only the sound of the crashing waves can be heard, which eased any anxiety the two might have felt.

"How are your people?  Since … well, you know…" She asked awkwardly just wanting to break the silence.

"They are well." He answered. "The black panther kept her promise on protecting my people's safety, although some of them are still unsure of the treaty."

"You say it as if you were ok with it." He tried to say something but she stopped him. "Don't even try to say you aren't, I know it was hard for you to submit."

She could practically see him tense for a moment as he clenched his jaws, probably angry but forced himself to calm down as he took a few breaths and closed his eyes.

"I will do anything for my people's safety… even if it means yielding to a worthy opponent."

"what wise words, I see you have grown more than just a beard and a mustache I see." (Y/n) teased him with a smile.

"A person grows in many ways throughout life…" He said before averting his eyes to the sea. "… Especially after meeting their soulmate."

(Y/n) eyes widened slightly as she too averted her eyes to the sea thinking about what to say next. She knew she can't escape the topic, but it didn't make it any easier to face it.

"When did you find out?"

"I wasn't sure at first." He started to explain. "When I noticed the changes in my body years ago I suspected that it could be either you or the panther."

"Then why didn't you say anything?" She asked annoyance clear in her voice. "It must have been nice having all that time to accept what is happening, but I only found out about my aging a couple of days ago."

"After the battle and everything that I have done, I wasn't sure if either of you wanted to see me again, let alone accept me as a soulmate." He explained as he turned fully to face her. "You must understand my hesitation to come up to the person I imprisoned or killed their mother and ask them to be with me."

 Of course (Y/n) understood, but it is still frustrated her that he knew and she didn't, that he had the time to get in terms with this new reality, then come to her and confront her…

"Wait… how did you know it was me?" She questioned. "You keep saying that you suspected that it was either me or Shuri."

"She called me." He answered. "She used the shell I gave her to call me and she told me it was about you and how to reach you."

"So much for a private beach." (Y/n) muttered to herself.

"Are you…. Are you disappointed?" He stuttered out the question causing (Y/n) to almost snap her neck with how fast she turned to him in shock.

"What?"

There was a look of concern and uncertainty, dare she say even fear in his face as he tried repeating the question.

"Are you disappointed?" He asked again this time more firmly.

"About what?" She asked not because she was confused but rather because she was unsure if he was indeed asking her that.

"About me being your soulmate." He continued. "I know it must be how you feel given the brief past we had. But that was in different situations, we can start anew as you humans put it, to know each other more before deciding hastily to not see each other again and then-"

"Wait! Wait wait wait WAIT!"

(Y/n) interrupted him quickly catching the king by surprise at her sudden outburst, her hands were up wanting him to halt any more words but her face was facing down, so he was not able to see her expression. He started panicking a little when her shoulders were shaking slightly, thinking the reality of their bond upset her, but his confusion grew when she started giggling before letting out a bark of laughter. Her sudden change of behavior was alarming to the king, dare he say he was offended.

"Can I ask why are you laughing at my confession?" He asked calmly yet the silent anger behind it was very clear.

It didn't intimidate (Y/n), but she forced herself to calm down for her soulmate seems to have a very short temper, which she noted to herself to work on with him. She stopped her laughter but her smile was still showing.

"Sorry, I'm not laughing at you, but at what you said." When gave a confused look she started explaining. "You came here confessing to me how you thought your soulmate could be either the warrior queen of Wakanda who also happens to be the new Black Panther or some woman with no title nor magic power of some kind and you ask me if I was disappointed with having the king of an underwater city, who is worshiped as a god, for a soulmate."

He seems to understand her view on the matter, but he still shook his head as if disappointed. He reached forward slowly for her hand as if expecting her to pull away but when she didn't he was confident enough to grasp her hand. His rough fingers were tracing the lines in the palm of her hand.

"You are… a woman, a human woman who  doesn't have the power of the panther nor that of a god." He stated making her narrow her eyes at him.

"Buuut?" (Y/n) asked calmly yet that was this small hint of irritation, which made him chuckle. Seeing his smile made her show a smile of her own.

"But...You still walked this earth as one."

"As one you mean?" she trailed off confused.

"As a creature who pushes beyond the limitation they were given." He continued before looking up at her, his eyes holding softness towards her. "The panther told me of your past, or at least what she knows of it."

If he felt her hand tense in his hold he said nothing and just continued to rub the palm of her hand with his thump, it helped soothe her nerves but she still felt uneasy about what he had to say next.

"I don't know what you exactly did, but I know enough to tell from our short time together… that you didn't set back and watched as the world passed by around you. Learning everything the world has to give and returning it by helping those around you. You had a great part in building this world, even when they don't deserve it."

(Y/n) didn't know whether to roll her eyes or laugh at his last statement. They have to work on that attitude of his if they are going to act on what is happening between them.

"I understand how you feel." She finally said, getting the king's full attention. "But I decide who deserves me or my labors, whether they would misuse it or not I will be the judge of that and will take responsibility for it."

Namor said nothing and just nodded and looked away toward the crashing waves whether he respected her ideas or not he didn't show it. for a while, neither of them said anything, both of them collecting their thoughts on what to say next, and the sea king seems to beat her to it.

"What do you want to do?" He asked giving her a side glance of curiosity before looking back to the sea. His question was simple yet the real meaning behind it was real. Do you want to have anything to do with me?

"First, I want to know you more." She answered in all honesty. "I don't want to rush anything between us only to be hurt later on."

"We are soulmates." He said in an almost hurried manner probably from the fear of rejection, she gave him a reassuring smile.

"I know, I just wish to understand why did fate bind 2 different souls from 2 different worlds together."

(Y/n) explained genuinely while extending her hand to his face she stopped inches away from his face, silently asking for permission, which he gave by resting his cheek in the palm of her hand and closing his eyes as if relishing in the feeling of her hand caressing his face. She brought her other hand up to hold the other side of his face and stroked his checks while her other fingers were gently scratching his beard. She can tell Namor was enjoying her attention towards him but she had to break the moment by pulling away and causing a frown and confused look to show on his face.

"Second…" She said, reminding him of the unfinished conversation. "I need to contact some… special people I know."

"Do you mean the panther?" He asked, thinking she needed to tell her of their decision.

"Well, I will have to speak to her too, but no. I need to talk to some people who might help with our…. situation."

"Situation?" He repeated confused. (Y/n) bit her lip finding it hard to explain.

"You age very slowly… I don't." She said gently,  his eyes widened slightly as if he had just realized it himself, she didn't like the sadness that started showing on his face so she explained. "I will just ask them if they have a way to extend my life."

He just nodded and gave a small smile, but the sadness was still clear in his eyes. (Y/n) knows the pain of watching the people you love grow old and disappear with time and not being able to do anything about it, but from what Shuri told her, Namor experienced this since his eyes opened to the world around him. Like her, he probably also hoped that his soulmate would show up soon to escape the loneliness. But she turned out to be a mortal, and with the time-freezing spell being lifted after their meeting, she will age in human speed while he will return to watching silently as the world kept moving fast around him, seeing people come and go into their world… including herself…

"Hey…" (Y/n) called catching the king's attention, he was met with her attempt at a comforting smile, which eased some of the grief he was feeling. "Those people live far away from any body of water but maybe I can contact one of them to come here, or maybe you can join me? You Can see some of the world and maybe even meet new people? I can understand if you don't want to, but if you did then I promise you there will be a lot of traveling to strange places. Fair warning seas king your soulmate here loves to travel a lot."

She teased him at that last part still smiling. (Y/n) she was asking him too much, not that she expected him to come with her considering not only his responsibility to his people but also his hatred for humanity, but she still wanted him to know that he is always welcome to be with her whenever he wishes to. Namor looked her in the eyes, his piercing dark eyes that 2 years ago looked at her with such loathing, now held nothing but softness towards her.

"Anywhere with you is everywhere I want to be."

Those words were spoken with such sincerity before he leaned forward and placed a kiss on top of her forehead, leaving her shocked as she stared at him with wide eyes, but the shock melted off her face and was replaced with a playful grin as she hit his shoulder.

"Don't get all sentimental on me, I thought you were a relentless sea king, not a softy lover."

"I am your lover now?" Namor asked as he scooted closer to her.

"You focused on that and not the relentless part?" (Y/n) questioned back with a raised brow.

"If it means I'm yours in the end, then yes." He had such a happy grin on his face that made her blush with how handsome he looked.

"You are so arrogant." She stated with a small chuckle as she tried to hide her face.

"But I'm yours." He replied confidently as he tried to make her look at him again.

"You're hot-tempered."

"I prefer fiery."

"God, you're obnoxious."

"Still yours."

(Y/n) was trying to push him away with every word she threw at him while fighting back laughter, but Namor kept leaning forward to her, enjoying this little game between them and wanting to enjoy her expression longer.

"Don't tell me you're going to be this clingy all the time?"

"More like affectionate and protective."

"Yeah, I have seen you being "protective" before, I know what that really means."

"Good, that means I don't have to hide it."

"what? Wait-"

(Y/n) let out a small screech as the Talokan king throw himself over her, just to lock his arms around her so she cannot escape his hold. She struggled and even hit his arms playfully, ordering him to let her go, but he wouldn't budge and just buried his face in the top of her head and closed his eyes, having a look of pure satisfaction. Seeing that, caused (Y/n) to show a smile of her own and decided to just give up the playful struggle, closed her eyes, and just relished the feeling of finally being complete.

---

I hope you guys enjoyed my first Namor fic!

[andy-wm]

Why Jungkook made an explicit version of SEVEN, and why we should be thanking him for it.

The answer to the first question is short:

Because he wanted to.

THAT'S IT, AND IT'S ENOUGH.

It's his song, his career, his voice, his time. It's his choice. He doesn't need OUR approval and he certainly doesn't need our permission.

I think we should be thanking him frankly.

Not just because he made a sexy song although I think it's more sweet than sexy personally but also because it's started so many conversations that I think we need to have.

And that's what is really on my mind, The conversations we need to have, not just about JK and his artistry and his choices, but also about ARMY. About us as human beings.

Let's start with him...

JK's Adult Life:

First thing for me is that JK is UNQUESTIONALBLY an adult. But he's a (relatively) young adult in an industry that's very judgemental, controlled, and tightly scheduled.

He may have money coming out of his wazzoo and millions of adoring fans, but he has limited personal freedom. It's sure as hell not an exchange I would make. I'd choose an average income and the freedom to walk down the street hand in hand with my guy without making headlines - every day of the week.

The fact that he has any kind of personal life is cause for celebration in my eyes. And like the 19+ version of the song, it should be his choice.

I hope it is what he wants it to be. I hope he does have s3x every day of the week if he wants it (and I'm quietly cheering him on) but I don't need to know. I'm not going looking for any information (gossip, let's be real) about that aspect of his life because it's none of my business.

JK's Artistic and Creative Choices:

The songs he sings, the photos he poses for, the choreo for his dances, the words he speaks... these are his creative expression. To an extent they reflect who he is as a person, but largely they reflect a concept or story he wants to tell with his music. I would really hate it if he started creating work with the aim of pleasing someone else (ARMY, or the media, or any other entity). To me that would mean he had lost his self-belief, and that his spirit was broken. It would be a sign that he was more motivated by fear of rejection than by his own desires and creativity.

Personally I love that he trusts us and shows us so much of himself through his art. If that ever changed, it would be a sad, sad day indeed.

Cool, that was easy

Now let's talk about ARMY - and for the purposes of this discussion, I'm talking about ALL OF ARMY but mostly in relation to JK.

ARMY - Our Diverse Fandom:

The fandom has a beautifully broad demographic. I love that about us. Of course it means we have differences, but if we acknowledge that and we respect each other's right to those differences, we are all good.

And because we are all fabulously unique individuals, it's a given that not everything JK (or BTS) creates will appeal to every one of us.

BUT...

We can support their right to make creative choices without engaging with the things that don't work for us.

If some ARMYs are uncomfortable with explicit lyrics, they can scroll past/skip/block songs that are outside their comfort zone.

If some of ARMYs are minors, their parents can supervise their media consumption (because that's their job as parents).

If some ARMYs feel that songs about making woopie aren't their jam, they can instead listen to other songs that are more to their taste.

Magic! Problem solved!

Not really...

We really do need to talk about S3X

ARMY, we are humans:

Most humans have s3x. As adults (hopefully), when we are ready (hopefully), and if we want to (hopefully).

So what's the big deal about an adult making a choice to sing about that? We were all fine with him singing about 'loving you seven day a week' but when he clarified what that meant, suddenly there was a crisis.

Is it the word F**K? Because if it is, that word is everywhere and it's honestly just a word. He's sung it before. RM sang it, YG sang it, JM sang it. And let's be real, Letto's lyrics were far more explicit and she didn't say that word once.

WARNING: REAL S3X TALK COMING UP.

Is it because he's explicitly telling us that he's sexually active? Did we forget he's an adult? Where do we think he learned to move his hips like that... yoga?

For the ARMYs who are shocked that JK is sexually active, where do you think you came from? We humans don't reproduce like flowers. You were also concieved. Your parents, your grandparents, your great grandparents, have all had s3x... probably many, many times because s3x isn't only about reproduction. It's also about human connection, pleasure, stress relief, and being an adult.

In his live, JK told us that he doesn't consider the explicit lyrics to be 'dirty' and that's awesome.

S3x positivity is healthy both physically and emotionally. Seiously, considering how much of our humanity is linked to this instinctive need, it would be so much better if we weren't conditioned to feel shame about it. If we were instead taught to talk about it comfortably, to express our desires, to understand our bodies, and to protect our rights.

I could go on and on about this (and about control, the patricarchy, and body autonomy) but let's just say that JK is right. It's not dirty, its not immoral. When consenting adults choose to do it with someone they trust it's f**king awesome.

If the term sex positive is new to you and you want to find out more, please do. It could make all the difference in the world to your happiness as an adult. There are many websites you can look at to get more information. This is just one.

Even if nobody else is going to, I am going to say THANK YOU JK for this opportunity to talk about s3x. It's an important part of being human!

*I'm censoring my language so the ratings police don't block this post.

*as always, opinions expressed here are my own.

[dk-thrive]

nothing needs to be too much of an effort at this point, not anymore, just living itself is enough, it's plenty enough, enough of an effort

You don't have to be accomplishing anything, take it easy, there is no need to strive or contend, you're under no obligation to achieve something spectacular in your life, that's pure hubris, no one is judging you out there, very few people in the world actually are thinking anything at all about you, which is a relief, just breathe, take it easy, this sadness will pass, it will abate, no it won't but you'll have to learn to live with it yet again anyway, take it easy, try not to be thinking about anything for a second, concentrate on your breathing, stifle a sob if you must, take it easy, you don't have to be productive with your time, life is too short for that, breathe, in and out, just breathe, you don't have to beat yourself up for not filling your time with more important pursuits and undertakings of some creative character, don't be hard on yourself, of course you'll be missing them all like crazy, that goes without saying, without saying, saying, but take it easy, just breathe, it gets late earlier and earlier these days, keep standing right there breathing, it's all right, take it easy, you don't have to be learning foreign languages for God's sakes or mastering the art of a handstand or juggling five tennis balls at once or losing a lot of weight, it's perfectly fine that you won't ever be starring in the NBA or dancing any major or minor ballet parts on the Mariinsky stage, granted that was an unfortunate thing to think or say, but the word is not a sparrow, take it easy, admittedly you won't ever see St. Petersburg again, so what, it's is not the end of the world, just accept it, generally accept everything without questioning, that's the way the old cookie crumbles, nothing needs to be too much of an effort at this point, not anymore, just living itself is enough, it's plenty enough, enough of an effort, if something's eating you ignore it, the time of your being hungry yourself is behind you, you don't have to start and finish a novel, the new "War and Peace" or "Moby Dick," nor can you cure cancer, the world has no such expectations from you, just be quietly thankful for having had those beautiful people in your life, just breathe, take it easy, still being here at this point is plenty enough, even though it doesn't feel that way, them's the breaks, take it easy, you don't have to relive your entire past in your mind, there can be no satisfactory closures in life, especially not ones supposed to be arrived at under pressure from yourself, life is not about that, it's not about anything, take it easy, you've had your turn in this word, be grateful, that should be enough, just breathe, remember them with gratitude, your heart doesn't need to be heavy with regret, life passes very quickly indeed, any child knows that, sometimes too quickly and sometimes not quickly enough, take it easy, that was a silly thing to think or say, breathe, you don't have to do anything now, just be there, just stay here, just breathe, in and out, standing by the window, looking out with unseeing eyes, have a potato chip or something, why not, survive, breathe, be, that should be more than enough.

— Mikhail Iossel, “Love Like Water, Love Like Fire." (Bellevue Literary Press, 2021) (via Alive on All Channels)

[rainroses45]

A Lover & Fighter

☾description: Neteyam realizes something important about your relationship (Neteyam x fem. reader)

☾a/n: i wrote this at night because i need a sad word dump…anywho i tried (not edited :))

☾song inspiration: try-pink (sped up) & teen suicide - haunt me (x3)

⋆｡°✩ ⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊✩₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆ ✩°｡⋆

Her hair was laced in beaded braids. Her necklaces hung from her neck like medals. The twinkle of hope and despair infused with one another in scent of glistening power. With each moment of silence the clan knew she was conspiring a better idea. Every war call, meant there was a forest filled with blood shed. The simple glance of her marmalade eyes, could defuse any fear inside a companion’s heart, but could cause any enemy a loss of color.

No one knew of her parents, nor how she came to be conceived. She was a wild horse in the pasture filled with snow ball sheep. Not a threat at first, but never mistake the power of a liberated spirt.

Neteyam was the fool in this game of hearts. He tried to soothe her into his arms with sweet praises of temptation. He tried to connivance her that they were meant to be. How he had known her his entire life. He read her in poems, pictured her in many songs, watched the flowers blossom and thought she might like them too. He was a fool, such a fool to fall for a girl without a future.

A sudden smack stung Neteyam’s cheek. His thoughts suddenly faded away with the wind, leaving his mind blank. A hand print darken his face as bubbling rage spread through him like a wildfire.

His cocky laugh irritated Neteyam with passion. Only an idiot would hit the son of Toruk Makto on the face, an idiot indeed. Auayew stood there proud and tall as he saw the masterpiece form on his opponent’s cheek. In no way was Neteyam considered a fighter, but at this very moment a new sense of thinking sported with in him. Maybe it was time to change that?

Before Neteyam could defend another blow, she came. Her soft hands pulled Auayew away from his body and soon they did ruins. Each punch caused another flood of tears to pursue down his bruised face. Drops of liquid metal began to pour out of his mouth. She didn’t care though - she never did.

He stood there and watched in awe. Even as her face stayed still like the sand, her eyes showed waves of fury crashing upon one another. Her hair flowed in the wind as the beads rattled in a warning.

Emerald stones embodied her skin with grace. Sparkling stars twinkled across her skin in series of aggravated kisses. Harsh strokes of red scattered across her body, blemishing and staining her like a tarnished painting. She was the definition art, she wasn’t the most beautiful women in the world, but she made you feel something real. And that - that is what truly mattered when loving her.

“I suggest you get out of here before I stop pulling my punches.” Her words caused him to shiver in awe. Her stance was so powerful, so surreal and inspiring. He watched as Auayew scurried away, holding his nose in pain. It brought a smile on Neteyam’s face to see him suffer a little.

“Are you okay?” His heart felt like it was about to erupt from his chest. The pain from his cheek was long forgotten, unlike thoughts of her.

“Oh yeah, it didn’t hurt me that much,” he tried shrugging off her intimidating gaze. It was enchanting to stare into her eyes from a far, but up close it made him feel nervous and insecure. Was he good enough for her?

“Are you sure?” She asked again with a softer gaze. A smile bloomed on her face as she heard him let out a nervous laugh.

“Yeah..I- I’m not much of a fighter.” He stumbled upon his words trying to find the right phase in describing his pervious actions. “I just don’t want to cause a scene.”

“I like that.” Her words had caused him to finally look up. She was even prettier in person. Her golden leaf diadem floated around her head like a halo of life. Strands of her hair wired around the air as they tried to escape with the leaves worryingly in the breeze.

“You do?” His wide eyes, maybe he didn’t need to change. Why would he need to change when she already liked him like that.

“Yeah, not everyone needs to be a fighter. We need more lovers to converse with.” True words fled her mouth, but he thought differently.

“I think fighters are lovers. They are just more passionate about their love.” His words clearly sparked something inside her because you could clearly see it radiate on her face.

Neteyam truly believed his heart couldn’t suppress the yearning to break free any longer, that was until she fell to the ground in laughter. Like an angel falling down from her throne of faith, she laid there open and free, allowing herself to enjoy the humor of it all. Her laugh was contagious causing him to go down laughing as well.

“Oh oh that’s absolutely brilliant, but unfortunately I’m not a lover..” She looked over at him in curiosity, his name was never given to her as a keepsake. He caught on this rather quickly and awkwardly.

“Neteyam, my name is Neteyam,” her eyes lit up in realization, and soon they filled with sadness. Quickly, she turned away to look back up at the trees. A soothing shade crept over their bodies and left them to enjoy the cool moss.

“My name’s Y/n.” He already new her sweet name backwards and forwards, but for that moment he pretended he didn’t.

“That’s a lovely name.” She didn’t respond back to his complement, instead she chose to bathe her self in the natural music of Pandora.

It wasn’t until the sun ripened that the she got up from her spot. She didn’t look back at him, but stayed staring at the new painted sky.

“Tomorrow, I am joining the warriors on a mission.” Neteyam’s heart sank with those words. Truly, she was not serious.

“What?” He felt like crying in despair. How? How could it be? Just when he got to enjoy the moonlight sinatra with her, she was going to leave to battle. Of course, this was not her first time battling in a war against the sky people, but this upcoming one was different. He had eavesdropped last night on the plans for tomorrow. It was going to be a gruesome fight, and the clan knew some would not make it.

“When I come back, maybe we could go enjoy the sunset and sunrise together.” There were no tears pricking from her eyes. She chose this title, and now she must live up to it. Unlike Neteyam, she had no parents to carefully guide her through right choices. Y/n was pushed into the world with no responsibility, so when the opportunity of fighting for her clan showed up. She took it.

He didn’t have time to respond, for she gathered her weapons and left. Neteyam didn’t sleep well that night, he was too busy wondering if she was dreaming about today.

The next day when the fellow participants gathered to leave, Neteyam stayed behind the crowd and watched. He saw her standing there. Her head held high and her posture tall. Not an ounce of fear reeked from her soul, yet a dreary cloud floated over her. He wanted to ask her why so blue? Hoping maybe it would make her laugh, but they already began to depart. He prayed Eywa would talk care of her.

When news of their return spread amongst the na’vi, he dropped his bow and arrow, quickly running towards the base to greet her. Frantic voices surrounded Neteyam’s ears as he watched swarms of medics wrap our them. It wasn’t until a set of marmalade eyes hit him that he figured out what happened.

And as the blood fell from her hands in exhausting amounts, Neteyam realized something. He realized there would never be a chance to capture her heart, for her heart would turn to stone from the amount of life lost. She would be buried the same year she shall prosper, not because of her ego, but it was in her nature. People like her weren’t meant to last long. They were too great to be tarnishing the lands with prosperity. Y/n would die young, and Neteyam would grow old carrying on the memory of his first romantic love. It was written it stars, it was being written right now.