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sysmedsaresexist · 1 year ago

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Hello - wanted to ask as someone in an endogenic system.

What are your general opinions on endogenic systems and their existence? I'm asking because I saw one of your recent posts and am confused.

Is it a case of viewing us as completely separete and sharing no actual similarities with DID/OSDD as a phenomenon in the slightest (like viewing it only as a spiritual belief, for example), or of being open to considering our validity once there's enough reaserch done on us, or being open to accepting us because you think that all real systems who claim to be endo are actually traumagenic without knowing it? Or is it something else? I genuinely want to understand where you're coming from on this.

(Also, I think it might need adding: having DID/OSDD, imo, is a very different experience to being endogenic in many ways, and to claim that it isn't wouldn't be truthful. However, I do think that there are some links between both the phenomena and that they shouldn't be disregarded as completely unrelated).

Wish you a good day!

Hey, I appreciate you taking the time to ask, that's a fair question

I suppose, honestly, a bit of all of the answers (let me explain), starting with stating the biggest one upfront

I believe in the perception of multiple selves.

Funnily enough, so do some of the most prominent DD specialists in the world (Ross has written extensively on it).

But I don't believe it's comparable to DID in any way, shape, or form.

There are a lot of "types" of plurality.

I support people having religious beliefs about their plurality, though I ask that it not be in my personal spaces because hearing talk of it is triggering based on my own trauma, and because it tends to start confusing us and causes us to dissociate in really messy ways. I don't think religion/spirituality and mental health mix very well in cases like DID. It's not a disbelief in or disregarding of their experiences, but more of a, "please don't compare that to DID, it's not the same, and the potential that I'll be influenced in negative ways is too great." Like, some of my alters could be easily convinced time/space travel is possible and that I'm a gateway. Believe me, that's going to make my life hell. The issue here is the comparison to a mental disorder.

I believe in the perception of various self states, and being very emotionally and mentally tuned to different emotions and moods that can feel and appear to be separate from yourself. I believe that people genuinely experience themselves this way. However, I firmly believe and support the research into the physical cause/mechanism of DID, and that it is not what endogenics are experiencing.

I believe there are people that are purposefully causing themselves to dissociate in an attempt to create headmates (or whatever is most similar to alters in DID). I do not believe they are actually capable of this, unfortunately, because dissociation is only one key part of DID, and the brain is no longer capable of dissociating to that degree after adolescence-- it's a learned trait in childhood that is limited by biological predispositions (this is why some people can experience extreme trauma in childhood but will not develop DID/OSDD).

I do believe they can train themselves to experience multiple selves as an internal perception, though, and that dissociation greatly helps this process.

Do I think it's healthy? For some, maybe, but generally no. That's pretty understandable considering my experiences, though, if you ask me. Like, people purposefully dissociating and disowning parts of themselves kind of goes against everything in the treatment of my disorder, where we need to work on embracing and coming to terms with other parts of ourselves.

The biggest takeaway:

These are actually the minority of cases, and the experiences are not comparable based on physical mechanisms

So on to the rest.

I believe a lot of endogenic systems ARE DID/OSDD systems. This realization happens frequently, and having run this blog and seen SO MANY different reasons why people think they're not DID/OSDD has made it clear that there's a distinct lack of understanding among the endogenic community of how DID/OSDD functions and what's considered a "normal" experience. My most popular post is a list of things that are actually totally normal in DID/OSDD, and it's filled with people going, "oh 😬". There's a lack of understanding around trauma and what that is. There's a lack of understanding and some EXTREMELY ableist views around what being "disordered" looks like and what dysfunction in the DSM is.

I think there are also many people that are experiencing a different mental disorder and that are exasperating their symptoms by aligning themselves with endogenic communities. It's really hard to talk to that community about what other disorders (BPD, OCD, schizophrenia, delusions, etc) are actually like. As much as there's a misunderstanding about DID, it's twice as bad for other disorders. Talking about other possibilities doesn't mean I don't believe their experiences, but learning what might ACTUALLY be driving your behavior and mood will help you plan your healing journey (because let's not lie, many in the endogenic community are struggling with several different issues, and there are likely just as many in the DID community going through this, too).

Like it's not a one community problem, but the endogenic community IS harder to talk to about this stuff because any question of one's perception or experiences is basically taboo.

And I think more research will come out, eventually, that'll help me form a more solid opinion and understanding of both experiences.

#syscourse

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shtern-and-art · 3 years ago

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"Skeppy will probably cry" "Bad will probably cry". Bish, screw, that I am crying!!!

This whole thing was bloody gorgeous and I wasn't expecting that ending. I had no clue what ending to expect but that was definitely better than any I could have hoped for. Forest spirit to soulmate your honour!

I was terrified that you were gonna leave it at the point where he loses the spirit and becomes mortal again. If you had I would be actively sobbing!!!! And oh my god, the art!!! I still can't get over how wonderful your style is.

Imma ask fun things because if I don't I'll sit in a puddle of emotion all night:

What's the first tech thing Bad will buy and how annoying will he be about it? Poor Skeppy trying to answer 101 questions about something he doesn't really use XD.

Is no one concerned that the odd couple from a town they never name has a pet wolf??

Do they immediately go over to a different town or do they wander for a while. Find hidden creeks and befriend bears?

Does Bad still have a connection to nature and animals, like are creatures naturally more trusting of him?

Do they ever visit the og town again?

Does Skeppy still cause absolute chaos in other towns or has he learnt his lesson and only causes minor trouble now?

Does Bad ever try and study again? If he did what would he study and would Skeppy try to study as well?

Does Skeppy steal? I dunno, he just give off the vibe of a naughty lil trickster who'll pocket something if the owner refuses to sell it him.

Immediately after leaving the forest what the first 'argument' they have (not including the car one)?

Would they ever ride horse? If yes, how terrified would Skeppy be?

Skeppy falls outta tree. I don't know why but my mind keeps telling me that this man has great balance until he climbs trees. They are his mortal enemy and Bad finds this both hilarious and terrifying because he is going to hurt himself.

I had waaaaay more questions than I intended to have. My bad '^_^ but this story was way too much fun to read and you are entirely to blame for making it so engaging!

Make sure to take care of yourself and do stretches after and during drawing. You don't wanna hurt yourself <3

AaaaI’m so glad you liked it! :D And, dang, man, I cried while writing that part too :D

And I promised a nice ending for the main story, I did, and this one also makes the most sense narratively! For the story I wanted to tell, at least. Bad can’t really become human again, he’s changed to much. He can only move on, and do something with what he is, and has. And he did! :D That’s really nice and inspiring, this story will always have a place in my heart, heheh <3

Being a guardian spirit connected to a person and all, Bad may be not as strong as before, but he can’t die unless Skeppy dies first. And Skeppy can do that, but he’s pretty sturdy, and his lifespan operates on a whole other scale than human ones. And Bad knowing Skeppy’s real name balances it all out, makes them equal in the power and influence they have over each other.

So hellyeah, soulmates for the win :DDD

I’ll answer all questions under the cut, and this close up from one of the pages!

1) What's the first tech thing Bad will buy and how annoying will he be about it?

Probably a pager! Because it’s a more feasible thing to get than a wholeass computer Bad actually wanted :D An it means Skeppy will have to get one too, and that Bad will be having the time of his life texting him and everyone he can get a number from, even if they’re still in the room with him.

Poor Skeppy indeed, he can learn to appreciate the pagers, and later phones, too, and computers, but he really has 0 idea on how it all works and why Bad is so fascinated by it all.

2) Rat and regular people

Oh, she can shapeshift, just like Bad! If they’re out with people around, she takes form of a puppy, and Bad can pass her off as a weird mix breed rescue doggo.

3) Do they immediately go over to a different town or do they wander for a while?

Oh, since they have no end destination in mind, they can ride around for a bit, go visit some cool places and roadside attractions. Sadly, Skeppy is probably not spiritually or morally ready to full on befriend wild bears yet, and they do need money for gas and snacks. So, at some point they will have to stop somewhere and find work – at least for a bit, to save up. Life’s gonna be a bit complicated with all that, until Skeppy figures out his treasure-finding abilities :DD

4) Bad and nature and animals

He is definitely still in tune with all wildlife! Even more – Bad could become a proper guardian spirit for Skeppy in part because, in a way, Skeppy himself is part of the nature.

So yeah, Bad can understand animals (and plants) and communicate with them; they’re just more free to not take his shit, and Bad’s emotions do not “possess” them unless he makes an effort to do so.

He doesn’t like doing it, tho.

5) Do they ever visit the og town again?

Hm, I think they will completely forget about it for a while, until, like, 30+ years later they will be going somewhere, and find themselves around those parts. And they try to not appear too often in the areas they’ve spent a lot of time in already (they can be pretty recognizable, and also barely show signs of aging). But it’s been a long time, and the town’s really different now… So they make a stop, and spend a day there. They walk the unfamiliar streets between the new buildings, check out the popular hiking trail, the advertisements for hot springs and winter activities. The old cinema is still there, and is hosting an all-night marathon of classic horror movies of the last century.

Bad and Skeppy leave the town after sunset – the day was nice, but they have nothing more to do there. They ride through the forest on a well paved road, with radio playing something barely above the whisper. And in the dark of hot summer night, Bad can see the white stag running between the trees alongside their car. Shadows dance over the shimmering light of it’s fur.

Somewhere after the towns border, the stag disappears back in the forest. But the air in the car stays light and fresh, saving the smell of old pines and dry leaves all though the night.

6) Skeppy and chaos

Well, after the whole mess in the main story, Skeppy definitely learned some lessons, especially about not being a dick :D

But the thing is – he can’t really help the fact that things tend to stir up around him a lot. He naturally brings in chaos into everything, because he is, in part, a personification, or an outlet for it in the world. And so, to feel, well and good, and himself Skeppy gotta do stuff that disrupts balance, and creates some mayhem. And in gave him a lot of trouble in early life, but in the course of the main story he learned that he can chose were he lets that chaos to take hold, learned what can come of that chaos, apart from utter misery.

Like, where it can help dismantle something destructive, and where – bring in the more positive change, that was already brewing, possible, but is stagnant for some reason.

Soooo, I can’t say Skeppy causes only minor chaos in his life, but he sure learns even more about not being a dick :DDDD

7) The studying

I think Bad will want to get a higher education at some point, because he wanted to, and because it’s already new millennia and all that. Bet he’ll go for something very technical and/or literature. Maybe he’ll start by piking up some classes in small time colleges, when they stop in one place for a while, and later get into an online program, because why not.

Skeppy is not a college guy at all. He’ll listen to Bad talk about it, read textbooks if he wants to, can research stuff, buuut going to classes and doing homework is definitely not his thing.

8) Stealing

Well, you’re right, Skeppy can and will steal stuff out of spite! And will be scolded by Bad for it, and will not feel (that) sorry about it. But real stealer between them will be Bad himself :D

It’s just… he has the corvid tendencies, and a hoard (a box) of sentimental mementos from different people and events, and the thrill of stealing something small and harmless is very exciting. Bad is very proud of his little collection. Skeppy finds it very adorable, a bit hypocritical, and kinda creepy. Like, that pretty box he gifted Bad at some point is now full of stuff like:

- pressed flower from the clearing they had a picnic at on their anniversary

- the button the waitress lost that one day the storm caused a black out in the whole town

- some small animal bones

- couple pretty rocks Bad stole from Skeppy’s pockets

- penny that was once glued to the ground

- a handful of teeth people (and not people) lost in fights with Bad

- pen from some fancy hotel

- rainbow dash keychain that belonged to a child

- the list goes on

9) Argument

Oh, that same day they’ll fight over whether they should stay at the really crappy and suspicious looking motel, or go sleep in a perfectly fine forest near the road. Ironically, Bad wanted to try out the motel (because, yay, first time spending the night back in civilization), and Skeppy was the one insisting on sleeping in nature (because the motel looks like it could give you 10 diseases if you even stand near it, and sleeping in the forest is kind of nice, and means they can cuddle).

10) Horses

The guys will probably ride them at some point. Well, Bad will ride, and Skeppy will sit on his horse and hope it knows what to do and where to go, because trying to make this giant thing do something seems dangerous. If they’ll have to actually go somewhere fast, Skeppy will not survive that day, his butt (and legs) will be dead for days to come.

And riding with Bad on one horse may sound romantic and nice, but all romance dies when the gallop starts.

11) Skeppy and climbing

Skeppy is more down to earth kind of guy, more of a “rocks and caves” kind of creature, real-life lizard person or something. Up on the trees and in the air – not really his element, yeah. But it doesn’t mean that Skeppy will accept this fact easy. The embarrassment of never managing to safely make it down a tree is too strong, he just has to do it all over again, and again. And again. Because, clearly, he was distracted this time. And the time before that Bad was teasing him, and it “disrupted his flow”. And, really, maybe these trees here just do not like Skeppy much, and make him slip a lot. Yeah.

So, more often than not, if Skeppy climbs a tree, he will not stop climbing it until he falls, or the tree ends. Bad had to take him off high branches couple times, forcefully, because, of course, Skeppy was sitting there for 2 hours just to properly enjoy the sunset. He can climb down at any point, he just Choses not to. The view is amazing. The bark is literally part of his skin now, not because he holds on tight, no, he’s just Than Much one with the nature )<

---

Don’t apologize for the questions! It’s always so fun to answer them, and it makes me think more about stuff I may have skipped, or didn’t think about before. It’s really nice :3c

Again, thank you for the ask, and for being here for this story! <3

(And I’ll try setting timers for rest breaks while I draw, mb that will help)

---

In The Dark - masterpost

#mcyt #mcyt fanart #badboyhalo #skeppy #skephalo #In The Dark #it's so hot here #my laptop's keyboard is like a stove #=c=#shtern talks

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rainbowsky · 4 years ago

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About the Recent Twitter Drama

I can understand some people feel shaken up by what’s happened, so I want to start out by making a few things really clear

My BJYXSZD belief is genuine.

I am a forthright person, for better or for worse. What you see on my blog represents my real feelings. If I have concerns about the fandom I try to be open and honest about it on my blog.

If I ever left the fandom I would attempt to do so in a way that leaves people feeling as good about my choice as I possibly can make them feel, with as little drama and fanfare as possible.

That is not going to be happening anytime soon. Such thoughts aren’t even on my radar. I have at times considered scaling back on some of what I’m working on, but as for leaving the fandom - NO.

Now that’s out of the way, I will address the situation. I’m not going to respond to the asks I’ve been sent about it. Sorry I only have enough mental/emotional energy for one post, and this is it. However, I will try to address everything people have raised in those asks.

Background

In case people are wondering what happened, I’m not really going to go into any detail on it, but basically a couple of high profile BXG Twitter accounts said some pretty controversial things about BXG and about the fandom. They said they don’t believe GG and DD are queer or in a relationship, and they dislike that there are so many people in the fandom who do. They say they shipped GG and DD for fan fiction purposes, not because they believed BJYXSZD.

The people in question either left the fandom or scaled back dramatically on their involvement in the fandom.

There has been some speculation about whether all of this was sincerely how they feel. I think we have to assume it is. They made their positions pretty clear and as hard as it might be to accept, I think we need to respect that they’ve stated their feelings. They’ve taken a lot of backlash for what they said, and it seems unlikely they’d go through all that if it wasn’t how they really felt.

My thoughts

First of all I feel really strongly that:

People have a right to approach fandom in whatever way works for them. No one is obligated to believe BJYXSZD. No one is obligated to stay in a fandom they no longer feel comfortable with.

It’s nice when things can be done amicably and without a lot of hurtful talk or drama, but life is messy and sometimes that stuff just happens. As I often say, we have no control over what other people do, say or think. The only thing we can control is how we respond to what people do, say or think. How we respond shapes our experience much more than what people have done or said.

Nothing that happens, however upsetting, can take away from the contributions people make to the fandom. Their contributions help shape the fandom, and nothing changes that. I am saddened by what has happened, but I’m going to try to focus on those contributions and continue to appreciate them, rather than get too worked up about the negative side of things.

How do we avoid bitter disagreements like this?

One of the questions that comes into my own mind when reflecting on the situation is, “How can we avoid this happening in the future?”

I’ve thought about this off and on for the past couple of days, and for me, I think it comes down to carefully curating our online experience. Surrounding ourselves with people who we respect, whose perspectives - even if they aren’t in full alignment - can exist harmoniously with our own.

When we allow ourselves to be surrounded by people whose views and attitudes we find offensive, it’s only a matter of time before we start to resent them and even turn against them. And that’s a real shame. Unfair, even, given that they have as much right as we do to choose our own approaches to fandom.

And when we are immersed in views that - to us - represent the very worst of the fandom, there’s always a risk it will color our own perspectives on things. That it will taint the experience and make us turn against what we once enjoyed.

While I admit I feel disappointed by what’s happened, I can’t help but feel some of this was a bit inevitable given the nature of Twitter. It’s a very raw, unfiltered, moment-to-moment format that puts everyone up in each other’s business, but with few tools to actually discuss and debrief any of it.

Being on Twitter can be like drinking from a firehose sometimes. Everything we want to see comes in as a wild mixture with everything we don’t want to see. We will see things that offend us. We will see things that go vastly against our own values and perspectives. Disagreements and disputes end up in that mix as well, and can influence the climate of the community.

For that reason I see Twitter as a place to visit periodically, but not a place to live. I don’t have the sort of personality that can thrive in such a chaotic, often toxic social experience.

I suspect that those who thrive in places like Twitter are the sort of people are acclimated to this type of thing. The sort of people for whom drama like this will likely blow over fairly quickly. People who don’t feel that way, will hopefully move on to spaces that are more suited to them.

Final thoughts

I am saddened that people have been hurt by this, and I understand that there is a sense of loss among some fans. I think that everyone on all sides of this issue has had a rough couple of days.

I know that it can upsetting when a fandom is shaken up like this. It’s understandable if people feel hurt, angry, confused and even betrayed. Our feelings and reactions are valid. I encourage everyone to try to be as charitable as possible with each other, and recognize that we all have our own way of experiencing fandom.

This will blow over. It will blow over that much faster if we refuse to engage in fan wars or fights over it all. If we come across something that upsets us, making liberal use of the block function is the best course of action.

People might find my Fandom Survival Guide useful right now. That can be found here.

#bjyx #yizhan #bjyxszd #fandom reflections #love not war #twitter is a cesspool

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btsficsforthehumble · 4 years ago

Text

adj.: 1. Modern, unfamiliar, or different

2. Not based on or conforming to what is generally done or believed

pairing: reader x ot7

genre: college au; angst, fluff, smut, poly, ot7

Summary: You begin your first year at a prestigious university, set out on achieving your academic goals when a series of men step into your life that change the way you view the definition of love.

A/N: Small s/o to Fae from sope-and-shine for giving me great inspiration for this chapter!

Part Three

Warnings: none in this chapter

Word count: 1.8k

You continue down the street, noticing yourself hold a faint smile from your time with Jimin. You have a feeling Intro to Comp will be more fun than you anticipated with him to keep you company. You really appreciated his easy-going nature that allowed playful digs to seem second nature between you two, even if you had just met.

You glance up at the sun, now starting to feel more intense as it approaches midday. Noticing, you slip your sunglasses out of your backpack and look at your phone to double check directions --- you weren’t too confident getting around campus quite yet. As you are looking at your GPS app, you see a text pop up from an unknown number.

*Hi y/nnnnn it’s your favorite seat partner from intro to comp!! Hehe*

You roll your eyes at Jimin’s text, and save his number.

*You are my only seat partner from intro to comp, Jimin. It’s been one day.*

*:( Don’t be a meanie, y/n. You know I’d be your favorite no matter what :DD*

*Who's to say? Maybe next time I’ll sit closer to Yoongi*

*GASP. You wouldn’t dare*

*Are you willing to put money on that?*

As you text Jimin, you follow the directions on your phone and end up at a cute little grocery store, with a built in cafe off to the side. When you notice it, you get some spring in your step. After seeing the coffee that the other students had in class you were yearning for a cup of your own, especially after your hectic morning.

The barista sent you a smile as you read the menu. Deciding on a nice warm cappuccino, you tell her your order and walk over to the side to receive your drink when she finishes.

She rings you out, and as you wait for your drink you begin running though your mental grocery list. Thankfully your apartment had a decent kitchen, which you knew you’d get good use of as you enjoyed cooking when you had a chance. Not to mention, your parents owned a small bakery in your hometown which meant you were well versed in the art of baking, and often found yourself baking during stressful moments in your life as a distraction. Maybe while you were here you’d pick up some basic supplies for baking… sugar, flour, baking soda, vanilla extract….

Your train of thought was quickly cut off by the barista, sliding your drink across the counter with a smile. You give her one back as you thank her, and stroll over to where you think the baking aisle would be. You take your time, checking out the products in each section to make sure you got everything you needed, beyond just your baking supplies.

As you near the paper goods aisle, you barely see a figure swing around the corner and run smack-dab into a paper towel display, which happened to be less than a meter from you. Unfortunately, the collision caused several of the rolls to go flying --- and one flying hard enough to knock the fresh coffee right out of your hand.

The chaos of the moment causes you to stand a little open mouthed while you stare at the now half-empty cardboard coffee cup rolling on it’s side away from you.

Toward the top of your field of vision you see a pair of men’s sneakers, which causes you to scan up towards his face. He is looking at you with the widest doe-eyed shocked expression you have possibly ever seen. His arms are half reached out, as if he wants to help, but can’t as he already caused the damage. One of the arms reaching out at you has a patchwork of black ink, trailing down over his toned muscles to his knuckles. His oversized grey t-shirt and loose jeans seem to swallow him a bit, which only adds to the almost child-like innocence of his wide eyes. Wavy brown hair frames his face, accentuating his masculine jawline.

Once your eyes connect for a few seconds, surely both wide in shock, he makes a squeaking noise and bends down to collect the scattered rolls.

“I’m so sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going and I took the turn too fast, I’ll go buy you another coffee as soon as I pick these up---” His voice, while speaking rapidly, remained soft and delicate, obviously embarrassed at his mistake. When you bend down to join him in collecting the runaway towels, he cuts himself off to again look at you with a wide-eyed expression.

You smile at him, the surprise from the situation fading as you stretch your upper body as far as you can to grab one that rolled particularly far. “It’s okay, we all can be clumsy sometimes. I promise it’s not that big of a deal, it was just a coffee.” You give him a warm smile in reassurance, wanting to ease his obvious anxiety.

You both stand up, having collected the spilled display and him grabbing your abandoned coffee cup. “Um, what were you drinking? I’ll get you a new one, it’s the least I could do.” His blush deepens with his question, and he nervously glances off to the side as he grabs his elbow of the hand holding the empty cup to make himself smaller.

“It was a cappuccino… but honestly, you really don’t need to, it’s okay.” Sending him another warm smile, you hope to convey your ease at the situation.

“No, I want to. I’ll be right back, okay?” He holds your gaze for a second, seeming to double check that you weren’t going to run away on him.

“Okay.” Once you let out your reply, he sends you a quick smile as he turns around and lightly jogs away from you, back the direction you came from.

You can't help but notice the subtle ripple of his muscles across his shoulder blades as he does so. For being so meek, he sure had quite the muscular build under those baggy clothes. He definitely was “yummy” to use the word Jimin so aptly applied to Yoongi earlier. At the memory, you couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle under your breath.

You scan the area quickly, making sure your run in with the boy didn’t leave a mess anywhere in the store. After seeing it clear, you glance back over your shoulder to watch him talking to the same barista. You could tell, even from this distance, that he seemed slightly embarrassed and had a pink tinge to his cheeks. The duality of this guy honestly is blowing your mind… his tattoos and muscular physique would give the impression that he would be super intimidating and confident, but by the way he blushed at attention so easily and was so timid when he apologized to you showed that he was was really a big sweetheart.

As he was now waiting for the barista to remake your drink, standing in the same spot you occupied a few minutes ago, you felt awkward hovering in the spot of the incident. After a quick glance back at him, you thought he would be able to find you pretty easily if you ventured down the aisle further. An aisle down from the paper goods, you found yourself in the exact aisle you were looking for.

Your mind quickly abandoned any prior thought as you took stock of the baking supplies the store had to offer. It looks like you’d be spending more on groceries today than you had anticipated.

“Um, here’s your coffee…” The boy from earlier had returned before you realized any time had passed. Caught, you looked at him, now looking at you, with a hesitant look on his face, as he saw the almost comical amount of stuff you had balanced in your arms. Now embarrassed a tad, you realize you have no hand to take the coffee from him, and it seems like it had just occurred to him too. He looked back and forth between the coffee in his hand and your ridiculously full arms and quickly offered, “I’ll be right back. I’ll get you a basket.”

“Oh my gosh, thank you so much. I’m sorry, I guess I got carried away!” You sheepishly respond to his kind offer. It was above what a normal person would do. He nodded his head quickly and did his half-jog thing again to go back to the front of the store. You weren’t getting tired of the view, to be honest.

Before you even knew it, he was back and gently removing items from the tetris you created in your arms of baking supplies. “Thank you so much, you really don't have to do any of this…” you feel slightly guilty for the boy’s kindness.

“No, it’s really okay, I shouldn’t have thrown paper towels at you.” As he speaks, he catches your eye and gives you a smile you could only compare to a cute bunny or other small adorable creature. You couldn’t help but fall just a little in love with him right there in the aisle. Now comfortable enough to joke with you, you left out a surprised laugh in response. You tip your head back slightly and feel your cheeks squish up without warning.

“I suppose you got me there. Maybe try to lower the aggression levels on your next grocery store run,” you egg him on slightly, a teasing smile remaining on his face.

“What would be the fun in that?” His eyes hold contact just a millisecond longer than normal, and you swear you see a glint of mischief in them. Ah, so bunny-boy knows at least a little how much of a hunk he is.

“Do you flirt with pretty girls at the store by knocking the coffee out of their hands for fun then?” Your eyebrow is raised slightly, and your tone stays as a teasing lilt.

Apparently at his banter limit, he blushes and gapes for a second. “Just teasing you. Thank you again for the coffee,” you reassure. Full basket and fresh coffee in hand, you flash him one last grin before you make your way around him to head towards the register.

As you leave the store, re-entering the street, you can’t help but hope you run into that guy again. He seemed like a genuinely sweet person that you’d love to be friends with. Starting towards the direction of your apartment, you ponder the chances.

You also ponder what baked treat you were going to throw the rest of your afternoon into. After some mental deliberation, you settled on muffins. Easy to take with you for that pesky morning calculus class. Ugh, at the thought of calculus you groaned inside a little. Not only did you have to grapple with the boring math, but you now have to grapple with the decidedly not so boring boys in your class.

#BTS #ot7 #ot7 x reader #poly ot7 #fanfic

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sweet-royalty · 5 years ago

Text

Never Been in Love

Summary: Patton is alone at home and is enjoying this time dancing and filling himself with pride (Extremely self-indulgent but at this point all my fanfics are like this and I have no shame at all so yeah xP)

Genre: Songfic (Will Jay, Marina and the Diamonds and Moses Sumney)

Word Count: 3371 words (9 pages)

Pairings (All of them are heavily mentioned but they are not the focus of the story): Queerplatonic LAMP, Romantic Analogince and Romantic Dukeceit

Content: Slight Angst w/ Comfort; Human!AU; Aro!Patton; Closeted Aromantic; Virgil, Roman and Logan are romantically dating and each one of them are Patton’s QPPs; Fluff; Just pure fluff despite many things; Sympathetic Deceit; Sympathetic Remus; Hoh!Deceit; Sign Names mentioned for 2 characters; Hoh experience written by someone who is not hoh (read as “please tell me if I’m doing something wrong”); Non White Sides;

Trigger Warning: Nudity (without sexual content or genitalia description), Snake mention, Amatonormativity (the characther is not actually arophobic, he just doesn’t know Patton is aromantic) (Tell me if I forgot to tag something)

Disclaimer: I couldn’t find a hand sign for “vitiligo” other than actually spelling it to make as Deceit’s sign name so his sign name in this story might not be so good. If you have any other suggestion for his sign name and explain how to sign it I’ll really appreciate it!

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“Don't you want somebody to never let you go? Knowing someone's body better than your own Don't you want a family with a white picket fence? Tell me when's the wedding, the names of all your kids” Will Jay – Never Been in Love

Being alone at home was always one of the best things that could happen for Patton.

Not because he doesn’t like his family but because he enjoys the freedom of being alone. And this time, the house would be all his for the whole day. His parents were taking his brother to see if they could fix his hearing-aid or buy him another one. And after that they would take him for a sleepover at the twins house and go out to celebrate their marriage birthday. It was simply P E R F E C T.

Patton noticed his brother walking in the room and sitting on the sofa in front of him while their parents were going back and forth taking everything they need. He knew what that meant. That’s usually what they do when they want to talk privately. Patton paused his music player and left the cellphone behind.

- Sorry about your hearing aid, D - he signed with a sad face.

The last sign made him sulk

- I adore when you call me like this - he said rolling his eyes when pointing his index and middle finger to the side and touching his heart so Patt would know he was being sarcastic. He giggled.

- Ok, can you teach me the s-n-a-k-e sign again, please?

D made a two with his fingers, pointing to Patton, brought his hand to his chin then lowered it with a zig-zag movement like a snake moving. He repeated the movement but instead of a two he rised his index finger and touched the other ones together forming a “d” with his hand.

He gave him the thumbs up. D’s love for snakes made him really happy for being given this sign.

- Don’t worry about my hearing aid - he showed his broken aid, hand painted as a snake – I’ll paint a new one if we can’t fix it

- What are you doing with this one then?

He shrugged then placed his index and thumb together under his nose and slid it on his upper lip before crossing his fingers. “Mustache” followed by “R”.

The sign he gave to one of the twins.

- Remus asked if I can give it to him if we can’t fix. Maybe he wants to open it? I don’t know

Patton smiled and gave him a malicious face.

- You will be cuddling with your boyfriend!

- Remus is not my boyfriend! - he sulked while grunting.

Patton tried not giggling too loud, since D could still hear something from his right ear.

- Ok, he’s your crush. I hope you’ll have fun

He rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything else to defend himself.

- You’re lucky you don’t have a crush. I’ll make your life a living hell when you do!

Patt snorted.

- Good luck

“… with that” he meant.

“I'm not missing someone that I've never met Maybe a little scared, still I don't care” Will Jay – Never Been in Love

Patton took some of his clothes off having just a baby blue long T-shirt covering his brown-skinned body, feeling the wind from the open window run through him. He spinned around the room and laid down to the sofa, grabbing his phone and scrolling to see if there were any new messages for him.

Roman (7:01 AM): Good morning~ Who is ready for today?

Virgil (7:02 AM): Ro, it’s 7 in the fucking morning

Virgil (7:02 AM): Lemme sleep

Roman (7:02 AM): I’m sorry, lil sunshine

Roman (7:03 AM): But if you actually were sleeping you wouldn’t be answering it!

Virgil (7:05 AM): Ooooor maybe I WAS sleeping but then a stupid bird sound woke me up!

Roman (7:05 AM): Not my fault if you sleep with your phone glued to your face!

Logan (7:05 AM): Can you stop bickering this early in the morning?

Logan (7:05 AM): We’ll be ready when the time comes, Roman. No need to rush.

Roman (7:07 AM): Oh my lovely nerd

Roman (7:07 AM): I meant to ask if you were excited

Roman (7:07 AM): Not if you were literally ready.

Roman (7:08 AM): The movie is only at 7 PM

Virgil (7:08 AM): I’m extremely excited, your highness

Virgil (7:09 AM): Now would you please stop texting here and let me sleep?

Roman (7:09 AM): As you wish, my love <3

Virgil (7:10 AM): -_- <3

Virgil (10:23 AM): Ok, now I’m up

Patton (10:30 AM): Good morning, my dears ^_^ <3

Patton (10:30 AM): Are you going to the movies today?

Virgil (10:33 AM): Sup, Patt

Virgil (10:35 AM): Yeah… I kinda won 3 movie tickets…

Virgil (10:35 AM): We’d call you but the movie isn’t really your type

Virgil (10:36 AM): I’m so sorry, Patt :( I didn’t mean to exclude you or anything…

Patton (10:36 AM): No no! I didn’t feel like this at all, love!

Patton (10:37 AM): Don’t worry! I’m happy that you’re goin out!

Patton (10:37 AM): Send me pictures of you once you meet, I wanna see your pretty faces <3 <3

Virgil (10:38 AM): Are you sure? :/

Roman (10:39 AM): Patt, you’re just as important as any of us. We don’t want to make you feel like a third wheel.

Logan (10:39 AM): Just because you’re not involved with us romantically that doesn’t make our platonic feelings for you less important.

Virgil (10:40 AM): Just tell us if something is bothering you, ok?

Roman (10:40 AM): Yes, if you want we can try to see each other earlier so even if you don’t go to the movie we can at least see each other

Logan (10:40 AM): Yes, we’d gladly do this for you

Patton’s smile got wider. He was being sincere when he said he wasn’t feeling excluded and he knew how genuine that invitation was because they all genuinely loved him as much as he did and in the same way he did.

As strong as everything he could feel.

They were the friends he never wanted to miss, they were the people he could always count for and know they’d do anything to help him just like he’d do anything for them and they didn’t need to be in love with each other for it.

Patton (10:43 AM): You’re amazing, loves <3 But really I’m not feeling like going anywhere today. D went out with our parents and I’ll be alone the whole day, I think I’ll spend this time with myself here at home ^_^ But I appreciate it, really. I love you so much ;u; <3

Roman (10:43 AM): Anything for you, my dear! Enjoy your day!

Virgil (10:43 AM): We love you, ok? We’ll make sure to include you next time.

Virgil (10:43 AM): Promise

Logan (10:44 AM): Tell us if you need something or change your mind

Patton (10:44 AM): I love you too <3 Don’t worry

Patton swiped the chat group off and searched for something to listen while baking some cookies

“I know exactly what I want and who I wanna be. I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine I’m now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy” Marina and the Diamonds - Oh No!

Patton was mouthing the lyrics while scooping the cookie dough. His shoulders wiggling with the song’s catchy rhythm as he felt every beat controlling his body.

Patton didn’t really listen to Marina and the Diamonds so often but Roman successfully made him addicted to this song. Last time he came to sleepover they danced together the whole night and without noticing they were practically lip-synching this song, which was so amazing and powerful that Patton never left this rush go.

He turned the stove on, started the chronometer and just left the music flowing through his body

Patton twirled off the kitchen, the wind following his movements filling his legs with a chilling sensation that would only make his movements more and more powerful.

He was throwing his head back with his eyes closed, shaking it so hard that Patton could feel the curls of his hair touching his cheeks making him smile as bright as the sun.

That’s what he likes the most about being alone. As long as nobody could see he could be as cheerful, loud and expressive as he wants without any judgement. He could manage to make his entire body feel happiness and express it in it’s own way.

He could shake his as weird and as careless he wanted.

His thoughts were cut off by a loud ringing.

- Oops! Almost forgot my cookies!

“Oh yeah I'm tired of falling Oh yeah For someone else's story 'Cause he gets the girl and I get ticket stubs I guess it's time to write my own personal version of love” Will Jay – Version of Love

Patton (6:34 PM): Hey, Dee! Are you already at Remus and Roman’s house?

DD (6:40 PM): Hey there. Yeah, we’re watching the Saw movie for the 4th time this year -_-

Patton (6:40 PM): Wow…

Patton (6:41 PM): Why you never tell him you don’t like this movie?

DD (6:42 PM): No one likes to hear him beaming about the deaths and all the gore stuff.

DD (6:42 PM): And it’s funny to hear him laughing when that woman tries to reach the keys and ends up trapped

Patton (6:44 PM): Awwwww

Patton (6:45 PM): It’s cute that you do that just to see him happy

DD (6:50 PM): -___-

DD (6:51 PM): If you wanna see it this way

DD (6:55 PM): At least the movie don’t make me feel uncomfortable so it’s more bearable

Patton (6:56 PM): Yup

DD (7:00 PM): Hey, Patton

Patton (7:01 PM): Yes?

DD (7:02 PM): I think I’ll try to tell him tonight

Patton (7:05 PM): Tell what?

DD (7:02 PM): Don’t worry, I’m hidden in the bathroom. He’s not seeing our messages.

Patton (7:03 PM): Oh, ok!

Patton (7:04 PM): Well, good luck! ^^ I’m pretty sure things will turn out fine

DD (7:05 PM): I’m not worried about it

Patton (7:05 PM): Pfff

Patton (7:05 PM): Sure ;)

DD (7:06 PM): urgh

DD (7:07 PM): You should tell Roman too

Patton sighed. There we go again.

Patton (7:07 PM): D, I told you before. I’m not in love with Roman…

Patton (7:08 PM): He is my best friend, just like Logan and Virgil.

DD (7:08 PM): Well, I never said you were not in love with them TOO

DD (7:09 PM): Look

DD (7:10 PM): I know talking to mom and dad will be hard

DD (7:11 PM): It is hard for me too

DD (7:11 PM): But you don’t have to talk to them if you don’t want to

DD (7:12 PM): None of us have

DD (7:13 PM): I’ve always hid my relationships very well, and you know that

DD (7:13 PM): I can help you so they won't find anything out too

DD (7:14 PM): Or… Idk, protect you if they react badly about it

DD (7:14 PM): Just know that I’m on your side, ok?

DD (7:14 PM): I’ll never judge you for being who you really are

DD (7:14 PM): And polyamorous relationships usually go great

Patton didn’t know how to answer. It wasn’t the first time they talked about it.

No matter how many times Patton would say he’s not interested in anyone, D would try to say that he’s in love with Roman or one of his boyfriends.

Or act like he will be in love with someone someday.

But Patton highly doubted that and was pretty fine with it

Patton (7:15 PM): I know, D

Patton (7:15 PM): I love you

DD (7:16 PM): I need to go back now, I’ll talk to you tomorrow

Patton (7:16 PM): Good luck!

He never told his brother about being aromantic and all this talk actually makes him less inclined to do so. He knew he means well despite everything, so Patton never felt like yelling or fighting with him for insisting on it.

But at the same time…

He was so DONE.

It was already difficult for him to find out who he really is.

It was already a huge pain to see that the fact that he doesn’t feel OK with the idea of being romantically attached to someone. That this whole thing actually makes him feel sadder, empty and chained just by the simple thought of it because “that’s what everyone needs to feel”.

It was already difficult for him to see how he can explain his relationship with Logan, Virgil and Roman.

Yes, they were made for each other.

No, he never wants them to go away.

Yes, he loves them A LOT.

But his love was not romantic.

His 3 partners were dating each other romantically but they all see Patton as someone just as important in their lives, even if they don’t see him as a boyfriend.

When they found out about Queerplatonic Relationships it was like big realization and a good way to include Patton in their lives that was not just a simply “he’s my best friend”.

And that makes him so happy, special and wanted he didn’t need or wished anything else.

But it was almost like the whole world was revolved in romance and that was the only way for anyone to find happiness. Like not having a romantic partner meant you’d be “alone forever” as if that was the worst thing ever.

Patton was not alone.

Patton was not unhappy.

Patton was not repressing feelings anymore.

Patton was free. Patton was Patton.

And that was everything he needed.

Why wouldn’t anyone get this? Why was everyone so fixated on it? Why-

- No! – Patton murmured before eating one last cookie and getting up from the sofa and turning his TV off – I’m not letting this ruin my day. I’m gonna take a shower.

“Am I vital If my heart is idle? Am I doomed? … If lovelessness is godlessness Will you cast me to the wayside?” Moses Sumney - Doomed

Ok, maybe choosing this album to listen while taking a shower wasn’t a very uplifting choice. Not that his songs are bad. But they were not the type of songs for you to feel good, it’s more like a song to give you a relatable feeling. Something might make you say “yes, that’s what happens to me".

But the shower did gave him some good, since the cold water mixed with Moses’s voice echoing through the walls were relaxing and almost swooning, like meditating. Logan taught him how to fixate his thoughts in one single thing until he could slowly focus on the sensations of his surroundings and Patton particularly enjoyed doing this in the shower.

Patton threw his naked body in the bed and turned to see his own reflection in the mirror close to it.

He stared at his freckles, covering his entire brown body, and smiled as he remembered how Virgil made a small comment about how much he likes it because as a child he used to look at people with freckles and try to form constellations with them and it was like they have a little piece of the sky with them. That was the best “non-intentionally” cute comment he ever made.

He sat on the side of his bed and stared the mirror, giving more attention to his own details. He looked through his whole “galaxy body” passing some of his fingers through them, mentally picturing the whole sky moving around it. He never knew why but sometimes imagining things like this made him feel so good and at least for a second forget about everything else.

- Let’s see this galaxy dance.

He picked up his phone, chose the first song that came with shuffle mode and got up.

“You're vulnerable, you're vulnerable You are not a robot You're lovable, so lovable But you're just troubled” Marina and the Diamonds – I Am Not a Robot

This time he danced slowly and with his eyes closed.

His arms embracing his body and his movements had no shape or choreography.

It was just free and random.

Patton’s hands were running through his arms gently, like a self-cuddle, having this short moment to love himself.

He was moving his shoulders inclined his head behind and instead of just mouthing the lyrics, Patton allowed himself to actually sing.

He definitely was not.

He was a human being.

A lovely human being.

“It's okay to say you've got a weak spot You don't always have to be on top Better to be hated Than loved loved loved for what your not”

Later that night, now completely undercovers and almost ready to sleep, he received a photo from the chat group of Roman, Virgil and Logan in the cafeteria after watching their movie.

The image of the latino man and the black goth kissing each side of the ginger haired nerd made Patton smile fondly.

Patton (11:12 PM): Omg, you all look so adorable <3

Patton (11:12 PM): I’m happy you enjoyed your movie :3

Virgil (11:14 PM): Yeah, it was really cool

Virgil (11:15 PM): Logan and Roman wouldn’t stop geeking around it after the movie, they almost didn’t finished their meal

Roman (11:16 PM): Oh, come on! There were many things to think about after that

Virgil (11:17 PM): I’m not complaining, charming prince. It was cute seeing you theorizing things.

Roman (11:17 PM): UwU

Roman (11:20 PM): But hey! I guess we were not the only one who had a good movie night ¬u¬~

Roman sent a picture of his twin, laying on the living room’s couch, sleeping with his mouth open and his eyes slightly allowing to see his sclera as a short man with a small vitiligo around his left eye was sleeping on him with this arms embracing the rat man. Patton cooed upon the vision of his brother in such a lovely state.

Roman (11:22 PM): @Patton Morales blackmail? >:)

Patton (11:23 PM): Pffff come on, Roman. We both know none of us would do this xD

Roman (11:23 PM): Urgh, yeah you right…

Roman (11:23 PM): Ah to be a poor honest man, who loves his brother too much

Roman (11:23 PM): ú-ù

Virgil (11:25 PM): Say this for yourselves, I have no sympathy for those dirty little sinners

Roman (11:25 PM): omg VIRGIL!

Virgil (11:26 PM): Urrrrrrgh alright alright, I’m the one who’s not allowed to be a jerk. Sorry.

Roman (11:27 PM): I’m afraid some sins shall not be forgiven, sweet pudding… ú-ù

Virgil (11:27 PM): Tsc, fuck you then. I want my Nightmare Before Christmas DVDs back

Patton (11:27 PM): Omg, dears. Not this late at night xD

Virgil (11:28 PM): lol ok, Patt. Don’t worry, I was just kidding

Virgil (11:28 PM): I highly support your brothers

Virgil (11:29 PM): I love you all

Roman (11:29 PM): I love you too, storm cloud <3

Patton finished to curl up on his bed, hugging one of his pillows like a teddy bear and smiled to the phone screen with his lovely partners texts

Patton (11:30 PM): Hey, loves?

Virgil (11:30 PM): Yeah?

Roman (11:31 PM): Yes, Patton?

Patton (11:32 PM): I know this will sound random but… Thank you

Patton (11:32 PM): Thank you for being with me for so long

Patton (11:32 PM): Thank you for accepting and understanding me

Patton (11:33 PM): Thank you for being so kind and so nice and for having me in your lifes

Patton (11:33 PM): Having you as my partners was the best thing that ever happened to me and I don’t know how I’d be able to live without any of you

Patton (11:34 PM): I just have a lot of feelings hehe

Patton (11:34 PM): Anyway… That’s it. I’m going to sleep now but I had to say it.

Patton (11:35 PM): I love you, dears!

38 notes · View notes

black-cherrie · 4 years ago

Text

Friends and More Pt.3 ------------------------

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Plot: Y/N and Jimmy talk about what happened between them and it leads to much more

Warnings: daddy kink, dd/lg dynamics, oral (female receiving), unprotected sex, squirting (first time)

Word count: 2,831

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It's been a few days since everything happened between you and Jim and it was constantly on your mind. What did it mean? Are you two an item now? Is this just friends with benefits? That can't be, you both admitted to loving each other.

You love Jim, you really do and it would absolutely break your heart. When he said he loved you you felt he was being serious. You felt that he really did love you. It's obvious to you now that he was always showing his love. If you were depressed, sad, angry or anxious he was always there. He always let you cry your heart out without judgment. If you hadn't eaten for days because you were too focused on upcoming deadlines for your asshole professors then he would come to your place and cook for you. He'd make you stop working and wouldn't leave until he knew for sure that you've eaten, showered and had some sleep.

When your period showed up and made you feel like the ugliest, fattest girl alive he would show up and take care of you. He would bring anything you needed along with your favorite snacks and some of his clothes. He knew that his clothes comforted you when he couldn't be there.

You almost wanted to slap yourself at how blind you've been. Of course he meant it when he said he loves you. He'd never hurt you on purpose and you know that.

After getting up and showering for the day you decide to head to his place and have a serious talk about everything that happened. You put on some jeans and a t-shirt and head out. Your mind goes crazy on the way, thinking of everything you want to say.

As you arrive your stomach turns into knots. You shouldn't be nervous yet you are. You do your best to shake off the nerves as you knock on his door. Waiting for what seems like forever, you figure he isn't home and are just about to walk away when the door opens, revealing a very sleepy looking shirtless Jim.

Just looking at him makes your heart skip a beat and you can feel the warmth radiating off of him.

"Uh hey Jimmy. I didn't mean to wake you up. We can talk later if you need sleep." You feel bad for waking him up.

"What? Nah it's fine. I was just being lazy and overslept. Could you come in? It's cold you know."

You roll your eyes and step inside, making your way to the couch.

"So what did you need? Are you ok?" He sat next to you and the genuine look of concern made your heart flutter.

"I uh...I just wanted to talk about what happened. You know, the whole oral sex thing." You blush hard looking anywhere but at his face as your cheeks heat up.

"You're so cute when you blush." He chuckles and pulls you closer to him, your head laying on his shoulder while his arm wraps around you. "So what about oral sex?" You don't have to see in to know he's smirking.

"Well. I was hoping that it wasn't just a one time thing. I really love you Jim and i don't know what I'd do if you didn't want me the same way." Sensing the seriousness in your voice and moves to face you, lifting your head wit a finger under your chin.

"Of course I want you the same way. I love you Y/N, so fucking much. You have no idea how much you mean to me. Even if we never went down on each other in the first place I'd still want you. You're everything to me."

His words bring tears to your eyes, making him hold you close and rub your back. "Now I'm crying like a baby and it's your fault." You let out a small chuckle and hug him tighter.

Jim moves back enough to bring your head up, kissing you gently as he wipes your tears.

"You're my princess, you're stuck with me baby." He smiles and kiss you again softly, making you moan just a little.

"Can we just lay in bed and hold each other for a bit? I just need to be close to you for a while?"

"Of course we can princess. We can do anything you want." He smiles as he gets up and lifts you, carrying you bridal style to his bed to gently lay you down in it. You kick off your shoes and take your jeans off, leaving you in just a bra, panties and your t-shirt. Jim can't help but bite his lip at the sight.

"Hurry and get in Daddy, I need you to hold me and love me." You peek up at him and pat the spot next to you.

"Fuck kitten. Daddy loves it when you say his name. You keep it up and there's going to be more than just cuddling happening."

You giggle at him and roll your eyes, immediately wrapping your arms around him as he gets in next to you. He gives a loving kiss to your forehead, holding you close as you both settle down.

You let out a relaxed sigh as you feel his fingers card their way through your hair, gently massaging your scalp. You scoot closer and tuck yourself under his chin with your head on his chest, resting your leg over his.

"I want this everyday. I want to wake up to those beautiful (y/e/c) eyes. This soft and silky hair. This perfect body." His chest rumbles slightly as he speaks, making you lift your head to give kisses all over it.

"You've got me Daddy. No one else is ever going to have me the way you do." You smile and close your eyes, feeling at peace.

"That's right princess. You're all mine and I'm all yours. The way it should have been all along." He kisses the top of your head while rubbing your back.

"I wish we would have gotten together sooner, think of all the dates we could have gone on." You mumble against his chest, fanning your warm breath against his skin.

"You have no idea how much I hated seeing you with other people. Watching them put their arm around you to pull you closer. You don't know how much i wished it was me getting that attention."

"Jimmy you had my attention you're my best friend. Although I guess now we can say we're more than just friends." You prop yourself up on your elbow, watching his face for any signs of disagreement.

"We're definitely more than friends. You're my princess, my baby girl, my little one. My girlfriend." His words cause you to smile brightly, feeling your heart flutter.

He grabs the back of your neck, pulling you in for a searing kiss. The slight movement causing your leg to brush against his hardening length, making him groan.

He grips your waist in both hands, pulling you on top of him. You grind your hips down against him, his hard cock nestled perfectly against your needy cunt.

A whine catches in your throat as he pushes his hips up slightly, causing friction against your swollen bud. He smiles at the sound, wanting to hear more of it. Loving that he pulls such sweet noises from your lips.

Without warning he flips you over, his body covering above you as he kisses and nips down your neck. Stopping occasionally to suck purple marks into your skin as he moves further down.

"I love the way you react to my touch baby girl. You make such pretty noises for Daddy." You bite your lip at his words, combing your fingers through his hair.

"It's all for you Daddy. Only you can make me feel this way."

"That's fucking right. This gorgeous body, those kissable lips, that delicious fucking cunt. It's all mine isn't princess?"

"Yes Daddy! My body is all yours to do with as you please." You whine at the way his words make you throb in need. You desperately need him. Any part of him. His mouth, his fingers, his cock.

"That's right baby. Let Daddy show you what you mean to him." He laid gentle kisses across your stomach, nipping slightly at your belly button before kissing further down. You can feel his hot breath against your dripping center, making you squirm and whine from within your chest.

Jim places soft kisses against your panty covered core, breathing in the scent of your arousal. "God you smell so fucking delicious baby. I can't wait to get my mouth on you."

You bite your lip hard enough to draw blood, your fingers gripping his hair in desperation.

"You want that baby? You want Daddy's hot tongue against this pretty little pussy? You want my tongue in your tight little hole?" You can only nod as he gives small licks over your panties, making you squirm against him.

He tugs the edge of your panties with his teeth before letting them snap back against you, causing you to moan lightly. At hearing the sound you make for him he finally removes the only thing between you and his mouth.

He groans at the sight of you, pink and dripping for him, your clit a swollen little bud just begging to be touched. He grips your thighs and spreads your legs as wide as they can go before gripping them tightly to pull you into his mouth.

You let out a loud whimper at finally being touched where you need it the most. The feeling of his tongue flicking and circling at your entrance makes you arch your back, pushing your cunt more into his mouth.

"This yummy little pussy is all mine. I didn't get to appreciate it the last time since people were just outside the door. But now I'm gonna eat this tight cunt like its my last fucking meal."

You keen at the vibrations his words make against your pussy, rocking your hips against his tongue as he dives back in like a starved man. His tongue everywhere at once, licking wide stripes up your lips and back down.

"Daddy your tongue feels so fucking good in my pussy. Don't you ever fucking stop." You're basically fucking his face at this point, gripping his hair tighter than before but he clearly doesn't mind as he only gets more eager to please you.

He uses to fingers to spread you open, licking one stripe from your dripping opening to gather your wetness and drag it up to your throbbing clit. Wrapping his lips around your little bud he sucks sharply, eliciting the most erotic moan you've ever heard.

"That's right baby, feel Daddy suck on this pretty little clit." He slides two fingers deep into your core, crooking them just right to rub against your spongey walls. Your breathing picking up as he gives you the best pleasure you've felt in your life.

He looks up at you as he starts to finger fuck your core quickly, bringing a hand up to press on the small of your stomach. His skillful fingers creating feelings you've never had before.

Before you know it you feel that familiar coil in your stomach, letting you know you'll soon be cumming on Jim's tongue. "Daddy I'm gonna cum. Please let me cum, I've been so good."

"You wanna cream on my tongue baby girl? Am I making your pretty little pussy feel good baby?" You nod quickly, breathing too heavy to form words anymore.

Jim latches onto your clit, sucking hard as he fucks you even faster on his fingers, rubbing that spot over and over again.

"Daddy I-" You couldn't finish your sentence as you cum hard, harder than you've ever cum when you fucked your own fingers. Your thighs trying g to close around his head but his strong arms keep you spread open as you shake and tremble for him.

"That's a good girl, cum for Daddy. Show him how good he makes you feel princess." He licks and sucks you through your orgasm, bringing you down gently from your high. He pulls away and crawls up your body, planting kisses along your body as he goes.

He braces himself above you, kissing your lips passionately as you wrap your arms and legs around him. He can't help but grind his erection against you, making you both groan.

You reach down and grip him, palming him through his boxer shorts as you get a feel of his length. "I want you inside me." You bite your lip and look up at him innocently.

"Are you sure baby? We don't have too just because i ate you out. We can just lay down and cuddle."

"Im sure Daddy. I need to feel you fucking me with your big yummy cock." He closes his eyes and groans before quickly taking his boxers off, grabbing his cock.

He runs the tip of his cock up and down your slit, making you jump in sensitivity. He groans at how wet you are, positioning himself at your entrance. Pushing in slowly he makes your back arch, tightening your legs around him.

"Fuck you're so tight princess. So tight and wet for Daddy's cock. God you feel so good." He has to stop about halfway through, gritting his teeth as he concentrates on not blowing his load just yet.

He takes a few deep breaths before pushing the rest of the way in. Leaning down to kiss you as he slowly starts to thrust. You hold him close as you finally become one. Your heart is filled with pure joy as he loves you.

You trail your fingers down his back as he works his hips. His muscles rippling under his skin as he focused on bringing you pleasure.

The both of you moan and gasp at how good it feels to be together. Every move his hips make grinds your clit against his groin, making you tighten around him.

"You feel so good inside me, better than I thought it would feel." He smiles at your words, his chest bursting with pride as he makes you feel good.

His thrusts get faster as he sits up on his knees, grabbing your legs to place them over his shoulders. Efficiently pulling you closer as he holds your thighs and fucks into you faster, going just a bit harder. Sweat starts beading on your bodies as you make love.

Jim's hair is shaking with his efforts. You run your nails down his chest and stomach, making his muscles twitch as he fucks into you harder and faster. "Good lord baby girl you have an amazing pussy. All tight and warm for me."

He holds onto your legs tighter as he speeds up, his climax nearing. He brings a hand down to play with your clit, rubbing circles against it quickly. "I want us to cum together baby. Can you cum again for Daddy? Can you cum on his cock?"

You moan loudly and nod your head, your back arched as you tried to fuck yourself back onto him. His cock hitting all the right places deep inside you. "Come on Daddy, make us cum together. Make me cum for you."

He groans at your words, fucking harder as he gets closer and closer. His finger racing against your clit, wanting to feel you squeezing his cock as you cum. Just a few hard thrusts mixed with his fingers I all it takes to make you gush on him. Spraying his stomach and cock as you unexpectedly squirt.

His eyes wide as watching you come undone for him triggers his own release, his seed spilling deep inside you as he pushes all the way in.

He collapses next to you, both of you breathing heavily as you come down. As you catch your breath you notice he's looking at you with a smile.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You fucking squirted. I didn't know you were a squirter." You blush hard, turning your head to hide your face in embarrassment.

"Neither did I. I guess it just took the right person to make it happen." He leans over slightly and kisses your forehead before getting up and disappearing into the bathroom. You close your eyes and relax, almost drifting off as Jim comes back with a wet washcloth and wipes you down. You whine a little as he gently runs the cloth against your pussy.

"Sorry baby." Once he's finished he throws the cloth in a laundry hamper and gets into bed with you. Scooping you into his arms as he holds you from behind, his warm breath fanning against your neck.

Pretty soon your breathing is even as you both drift off into a deep much needed slumber. The both of you happier than ever.

TBC...

#codyfern #codyfernfics #jimamason #jimamasonxreader #thetribesofpalosverdes #friendsandmorept.3

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idk-loving-kpop · 5 years ago

Photo

FYI SUPER LONG POST! You have be warn, but still show it some love. okay!

OKAY!!! Super excited!!! Cause 1 this is the LAST ONE I have before I open my ships again. 2 I LOVE doing my “triple threats” with BTS. Okay cause after Super Junior, BTS is my bias group (no thanks to my friend who ask me to go to their concert, literally I went to their concert & became a fan of them because I saw them live.)

This person sent me the request via messaging ... She requested Selca, Written & Astrology.

When people request all 3 ships this is how I do them.

1st : Selca - To me easiest ones you can do. I base it on looks & vibe.

2nd: Written - How person describes his/herself looks & personalities. The more details the better. JUST DON’T START WRITING YOUR AUTOBIOGRAPHY. *lol*

3rd: Astrology - This take me the longest to do because especially if I have to compare DOB. And I have to check astrology signs for the members, which at this point I have some memorized, but some I don’t.

----------------------------- LET US BEGIN -----------------------------

DOB: DAY/MONTH/YEAR

I'm 5'4, slim thick/hourglass figure (a uk size 8 but my breast are +DD and my waist is 24 inches so it gets hidden by my boobs a lot which is honestly kind of annoying), I have brown eyes, and naturally dark brown hair buts its bleached platinum blonde and its shoulder length.

I am a ambivert. I can be outgoing when a want but its usually around people i'm comfortable around or familiar surroundings. but I can also be quite withdrawn and shy especially around someone I like. I have social anxiety which makes me a lot more quiet around new people or in situations which involve public speaking (I even start shaking because my anxiety levels spike so high). I love music and am always singing. I can't dance but I really love dancing and at one point wanted to be a dancer but I never really got a chance to take any lessons or anything so...yeah. I'm a creative person so I enjoy art such as drawing and painting when I feel motivated to. I love love love reading my favourite book is probably The hobbit by Tolkien. tbh i'm interested in anything that tickles my fancy. I'm a huge nerd! Anime, memes, vines, manga, video games I love it all. My fave video games are interactive ones like Tomb Raider, Outlast, Uncharted, Dead Space, etc. I'm studying History and Archaeology at Uni and museums are my second home. Although I am quite soft spoken and kind hearted (I literally cry if something on tv is heart-warming or sad like if a dad and his son have a heart to heart and hug or something) BUT I am also outspoken. My BS meter is low so if someone is chatting shit about something i don't agree with such a racism. sexism, homophobia, xenophobia, men staring or harassing women or girl, etc I have to say something. I just can't sit there and let it be. I am quite outdoorsy I love working out, running, martial arts, football, etc. I grew up going football club and taking karate and MMA so I've always been pretty active. also lowkey i'm a huge tree-hugger (literally and mentally) I once bumped into a tree and hugged it and said sorry....I studied Geography in High school and sixth form so i'm very passionate about the environment, animals, etc. P.S. I LOOOVE ANIMALS mainly cats overall I am a huge sucker for animals. I'm also a older sibling so i'm quite protective of the ones I love and literally would do anything for them or to protect them. I have insomnia so i'm a night owl but I've always been like that I usually only sleep for about 4-5 hours and i'm good to go. I love having deep conversations late at night with my sister, thinking about trippy things like what the meaning of life is and if aliens exist or if planet of the apes actually happened and what would we do? I also really enjoy movies; mainly horror movies even though they scare the shit out of me, I still watch them. Also i'm all about girls supporting girls. Girl power all the way. I also south Asian so desi culture is also very important and very prominent in the way I behave. I usually speak a mixture of Urdu and English in my sentences as opposed to just speaking one language at a time. I really love languages so i'm also learning Korean and i'm studying latin at Uni. i think that's all.....i'm pretty sure i left something out but it feels like I've been typing for years so i'm going to stop now...soz if this is a lot. also i wrote this as fast as i can so i apologise for the spelling and grammar mistakes

Damn ... I didn’t know how much you wrote until I copied & pasted on the post . *lol* ... It didn’t seem that long when I was reading it. Ok, so I put in bold stuff that stood out to me ok.

FYI shout to all the girls w/ big boob problems ... I have the same issue it is really annoying. I joke w/ my friend all the time that I would give her half of my boobs / body fat cause she is skinny a flat . *lmao*

I can’t help myself so I will make some comments ... I am the same way, I can’t sing or dance (even though I am Latina) but I do it anyways because ever sine I was little I love music & boy groups. So I will keep on doing me. I have a great work environment that we do that at work sometimes too. I’m not a talented in the arts what so ever. But I have always loved and appreciated them.

That is so interesting that you are studying that in Uni. History has always been my favorite subject, quiet a nerd when it comes to almost got a perfect score on my state test when I was in school (fyi I hated school but I liked learning). Not many people study that in Uni/College.

The tree incident made me laugh so much ... Again your not alone cause I sure do have a picture when I was on a high school trip of me hugging a tree. *lmao*

The meaning of life, is different for everyone. We can’t have functioning society without everyone doing their own part. Everyone life means something, no life is great than another life.

Aliens do exist. Our universe is so big for just the human race to exist. Also I grew up watching Star Trek and I like watching Doctor Who.

If planets of the apes happen I would die.

When I read “girl power” literally said it like Spice Girls with the peace sign & everything …

Okay I will shut up now & get to the ships …

Western Sign: Pisces Eastern Sign: Tiger “Ideal” Partners for Pisces: Cancer and Scorpio “Ideal” Partners for Tiger: Horse and Dog

BTS Selca – JHope (Aquarius / Dog)

BTS Written – RM (Virgo / Dog)

BTS Astrology – Suga (Pisces / Rooster)

Western – Suga

Eastern – RM & Jhope

Comparing DOB Suga matched better, followed by Hobi a close second and then Namjoon.

Shout out to V who came in 2nd place on my Selca & Written.

Stray Kids Selca – Hyunjin (Pisces / Dragon)

Stray Kids Written – Lee Know (Scorpio / Tiger)

Stray Kids Astrology – Lee Know (Scorpio / Tiger)

Western – Lee Know & Hyunjin

Eastern – Lee Know

And NO I didn’t plan it like this it sort of just happen. And yea it is a lil freaky that Astrology ships kinda had the answers to Selca & Written … For Stray Kids couldn’t find much of their personality or ideal type so I kinda based it on hobbies more than anything. Probably has the years go by & they do more interviews and stuff, I can better match them with people.

Hope you like your results.

And let me know what y’all think!

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ohalemalia · 6 years ago

Text

Daily Dose - Part 5 (S.M. Imagine)

Pairing: Scott McCall x Reader

Warnings: none (:

A\N: soooooo, new chapters of DD will officially be going up on Mondays now. Also I PROOF READ THIS ONE. WHAAAAAT. WHO IS SHE?

Word Count: 2268

Summary: Scott takes Y/N on the ride of her life. A waitress ships Scott and Y/N so hard that Y/N starts to question the nature of their relationship.

Remember all that big talk about YOLO that I had just a few minutes ago? Yeah, it definitely didn’t prepare me for getting on the back of Scott McCall’s motorcycle and riding off into the night. I’m not really one for thrill seeking, I mean the thrill of not knowing when your entire immune system will suddenly collapse on you was enough adrenaline for me, thank you very much. Did I want Scott to know that I was afraid? Absolutely not. He would only turn us around and make us sit on the couch and watch a movie or something and I was tired of just sitting. I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life on my ass.

My nails dug into the palms of my hands as I crept towards Scott’s motorbike. The blood was pounding in my ears and my head was spinning at the thought of speeding down the street on the back of this vehicle that had no doors, half the number of wheels of a regular vehicle and didn’t even have an FM radio.

Scott looked back at me, a small smile on his face as he outstretched the helmet to me, “You still wanna do this?”

“Y-yeah,” I tried to look confident as I folded my arms across my chest, “Of course I do.”

But Scott wasn’t buying it, but rather than call my bluff, he just chuckled at me, “Y/N, if you’re afraid it’s okay. It’s part of being human. You don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to.”

“No,” I was not about to let him talk me into giving into my fear, “No, I want to. I’m going to.”

I took the helmet from him, finding it to be a lot heavier than I anticipated. I stared down at my reflection in the visor of the helmet, wondering if I was really about to get on the back of this boy’s bike.

“It goes on your head,” Scott joked.

I rolled my eyes, “I have lupus, Scott. Not dementia.”

I pulled the the helmet over my head and blinked a couple times to get my eyes adjusted to the darkness inside of it. My head felt like it was inside a bubble, the sounds of the outside world were muffled.

Scott threw one of his legs over the bike and straddled the seat. He started to put his helmet on but then he caught me staring at him, probably looking like some rejected member of Daft Punk with this huge helmet and my arms straight at my sides.

“You can get on,Y/N,” Scott tossed his helmet from hand to hand and never stopped smiling at me, “Just hold on to my shoulders and hop on.”

“Right,” I took a couple tentative steps toward the bike. As Scott put his helmet on, I put my hands on his shoulders and stepped on the right peg. I hoisted myself up, threw my left leg over the bike and sat down on the seat. Great. I had made it on the bike in one piece now let’s try to make it off the same way.

“Okay, so,” Scott strapped his riding gloves on, “I guess I should lay some ground rules down.”

“Like no kicking your seat?” I leaned over to get a better look at him, “Or no food on the bike?”

Scott chuckled, “Like, hold on tight to me unless you want to get smeared on the pavement.”

“Oh wow,” I blinked. I really needed that imagery. “I bet you get all the girls with that one.”

“You’re actually the first and only person who has rode on the back of my bike.”

My eyes widened, “I--wait, what? You’ve never done this before?”

“Nope,” Scott said, fiddling with some of the gears on his bike.

“Scott!”

“It’ll be fine, Y/N. I promise,” He turned around to look at me and lifted the visor covering his eyes, “Do you trust me?”

I frowned, which he couldn’t see, but nodded.

“Great, so keep your feet on the seats and your butt on the seat. It’s also better if you’re as still as possible, so that the bike is balanced. If you want to look around, look with the turn so, if I’m turning left, look left, if I’m turning right--”

“Look, right?”

Scott smiled and I hope it was because he appreciated my pun and not because I was being a good pupil, “Right. Basically, do what I’m doing. If you need me to stop at all, for any reason at all, you can tap my thigh three times and I’ll stop as soon as I can, okay?”

I nodded, “Got it.”

I looked around, seeing where I could put my arms for the time being. It felt kind of awkward and unsafe to have them down at my sides, “Where do I, uh, where should I hold on to?”

“Telling you to hold on to me wasn’t just a pick up line,” Scott flipped his visor down and started the bike.

The roar and rumble of the bike underneath me was enough to make me grip onto Scott’s waist like my life depended on it (I mean, when you really thought about it, I guess it did).

Scott said something to me, but I couldn’t quite hear over all the noise of the monster underneath me. Before I could ask him what he said, we lurched forward on the bike and I was officially riding a motorcycle.

The wind whipped violently at my clothes and I’m pretty sure I would’ve felt it on my face and through my hair if it wasn’t for the helmet on my head. As we exited the residential road and got onto the main street, the traffic lights and the lights of the city blurred together in a mosaic of brilliance. It was terrifying and exhilarating all at once and I hadn’t felt anything like it. The adrenaline bubbled in my chest and lodged itself into my throat. It was threatening to pour itself out.

And the thing about the body is, my body especially, you can’t control it sometimes.

My mouth opened and I let out a shriek. I wasn’t sure if it was fear or happiness, but I didn’t care. I stepped out of it’s way and let it out. I was shrieking and screaming until I was laughing. I felt like throwing my arms up in the air, but no matter how much fun I was having, I didn’t want it to end in me smeared across the pavement, so I kept my arms around Scott.

No matter how much I was screaming and how much I was afraid, I didn’t feel unsafe. I trusted Scott and I felt completely and utterly safe with him. I finally felt like, for the first time in a long time, that I was living, truly living.

And it was all thanks to Scott McCall.

---

“Where are we?”

I watched Scott get off his bike and put the kickstand out. He shoved his hands in his pockets walked over to me, “We’re at Darla’s Diner.”

“Yeah, I can read the bright neon sign,” I chuckled, “But why?”

Scott dug around in his pocket and pulled out a folded square of paper. I could recognized it even before he opened it by the purple glitter pen that was bleeding through it. He unfolded the square and read off it it, “Y/N’s List of Places to be Other Than Here. Number fourteen, a diner.”

I laughed, “You still have that?”

“Yeah,” Scott folded the list backup and stuck it in his pocket, “I can’t take you to Italy or Paris or Greece, but I can still get you some good food.”

I followed him to the front door of the diner, “Can you maybe give me my list yet?”

“Mmmm,” Scott opened the front door, the bell above the door ringing to announce our arrival, “Not yet.”

I raised an eyebrow, “Not yet?”

“Not until we finish everything on the list,” Scott gestured for me to head inside.

“That’s literally impossible,” As I stepped inside, the smell of buttermilk pancakes and coffee enveloped me, “Like you said, you can’t take me to Italy.”

Scott followed me inside and smiled, “Not yet, at least.”

I rolled my eyes, “Scott, there’s no way you, a high school junior is going to take me all the way to Italy.”

“Never say never, Y/N,” Scott greeted the hostess with a smile, “Two please.”

The hostess grabbed two menus and beckoned for us to follow her, “It’s a little late for you two to be out, don’t you think?”

“It’s never too late for a good waffle,” I smiled at her.

She smiled back as she brought us to a booth and sat us down, “Ah, I remember being your age and sneaking out with my sweetheart.”

“Oh,” As she set the menu down in front of me I laughed uncomfortably, “We aren’t--I mean we’re just--”

“Oh you don’t have to explain anything to me or put a label on it,” The hostess pulled a notepad out of her apron, “Just let it be and enjoy it. My name’s Darla, can I start y’all off with something to drink?”

��Water’s good,” Scott and I said at the same time. I looked up from my menu to see him sitting across the table grinning at me.

Darla laughed, “You two are adorable. I’ll be right back.”

As Darla walked away, I fought the urge to slam my head onto the wooden table, “That’s so embarrassing.”

Scott looked puzzled, “What is?”

“The fact that she assumed just because we’re two people, a guy and a girl, that we’re together.”

Scott shrugged, “I don’t see what would be so bad about that.”

“It’s not that it’s bad,” I laughed to hide my discomfort, “It’s just, I mean, you wouldn’t want to be with me.”

Scott’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he tilted his head at me, “I’m with you now.”

“You know what I mean,” My face was starting to grow hot because yeah, I had thought about this stuff but I never really had to explain it out loud to anyone, “And I meant ‘you’ like a general you. Like anyone with common sense would know not to get involved with the chronically sick girl. Hospital dates don’t exactly sound romantic.”

“Y/N,” The way Scott said my name so softly made me look up at him. He was leaning across the table, his eyes all soft and concerned, his hand stretched out but face down on the table as if he was reaching for my hand. My heart fluttered around in my chest and I didn’t know why.

“You’re not just “The Sick Girl”. And you’re more than capable of having a normal life. You rode a motorcycle for the first time. That’s badass!”

I chuckled a little but it was mostly from the unexpectedness of Scott saying that I, Y/N L/N, did something “badass”.

“And you’re here, at a normal diner, having a normal dinner, being totally normal. But you know what? You’re better than normal. Normal people wouldn’t be able to go through what you go through. You’re a fighter, Y/N. You’re strong and brave and smart and you’ve read more books than anyone I know.”

I chuckled a bit at that remark. Scott grinned at me, his dimples prominent, “And anyone would be lucky to be here with you.”

I gave him a tight lipped smile, my face was burning from all the compliments he laid on me. I wasn’t quite sure if I believe it, but I could tell from sincerity in his eyes that Scott believed it with every inch of his being.

“Thank you,” I managed to whisper.

“Alright, I’ve gotcha two water,” Darla to our table and set our glasses of ice water on the water along with some straws, “And a little treat.”

She set down a milkshake in a glass that was probably tall enough for me to stick my entire arm in. It was topped with a mountain of whipped cream and two cherries on top.

I was breathless, “Holy--”

“Um,” Scott looked up at Darla, “We didn’t order this.”

Darla waved a hand dismissively and winked, “It’s on the house.”

“It’s the size of a house,” I muttered.

Darla laughed out loud, “It’s our 2-is-Better-Than-1 shake. So we’ve double the recipe, doubled the glass for double the drinkers. And it comes with these funky keepsake straws.”

Darla put down two crazy straws for us, one pink, one green, “If y’all can finish this together, then ya relationship is about as strong as ya stomachs. Y’all bout ready to order?”

Scott looked over at me face which was still gawking at quite possibly the largest drink I had ever seen in my life, “I think we need a bit more time.”

“We’re gonna need a lot of time,” I countered.

“Make that a lot of time,” Scott relayed to Darla.

“Take all the time ya need,” Darla grinned, “Let me know if you need anything else.”

And so Darla left me alone with Scott and the King Kong of dairy beverages.

“Well,” Scott picked up his straw and sank it into the hill of whipped cream, “Whether we’re together or not, I hope you’re not going to make me finish this alone.”

And so I picked up my straw because whether we we’re together or not, I did not mind sharing a gigantic milkshake with Scott McCall.

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therandomfics · 6 years ago

Text

DISTANCE: 3

Sonny,

I’m sorry that it came to this, that your last contact from me will be in the form of this letter. Truthfully, I have no idea when you’ll read this, or if you’ll read it, but I want to cover my bases and let you know a few things. We’ve been together for how long now? Two and a half years? I’ve barely seen you for the last 8 months. I respect your line of work and appreciate your commitment to serve and protect, but at what point were you going to protect our relationship? When we first met, I couldn’t believe how wonderful you were. Do you remember? You interviewed me, and then Mr. Barba prepped me for trial. I was so thankful I was able to save that woman’s life, so thankful that I made a difference, and so thankful to have met you. My Knight in Shining Armor. The first handful of dates we went on left me reeling - I felt manic if I’m being honest. I just couldn’t believe that someone like you wanted someone like me. Even after we moved in together, or rather I moved in with you, it still felt like pure magic. I never wanted that feeling to end. Yes, I’ve lied awake at night, wishing that I’d never met you, wishing that you’d turn in your shield and take up law, or anything other than leaving me for as long as you did. But you know, I was patient, and forgiving. I trusted you to be the one that would never betray me. I know you know why it’s so important to me that I give my all and get the same in return. You know my parents were together nearly 30 years when my Mom left my Dad for some random man she met online and destroyed my concept of trust. You know the horrors of dating I experienced - it’s not easy being a woman, especially in a big city. You know the absolute nightmare my mother has become and how she tried to pit me against you so many times just to feed her own sick, sad little mind... and I never let it happen. Sonny, you were number one in everything. Nothing came before you, but I will not promise that nothing comes after you, because I deserve something more. You’ve left me lonely for too long. You didn’t check in, you didn’t have anyone check in on your behalf, nothing. If I hadn’t seen you with her.. I would have thought you were dead. You told me you were going back to find out what was going on, why someone would be trying to contact me, and then you’d be back. I understood - I was angry, but I fucking understood. Then, after I’ve been missing you for so long, I see you on the platform kissing that woman like you’ve loved her longer than you pretended to love me. What did I do to deserve this? Amanda said you’re deep under and you’re trying to make friends with someone who know what’s really going on in hopes that you can bust a ring. A ring of what? Pedophiles? Rapists? Traffickers? Who cares? I don’t? I’m so sorry it ends like this, darling. Please know that I will forever think of you as the man who taught me how to love and simultaneously want to kill myself at the same time. What a delight - what a SKILL SET you must have to make me feel so wildly unstable. I’d say I’m proud of you, but only if that translated to burn in Hell.

Wishing you the best...

Y/N

You sealed the letter in an envelope and left it lying on Sonny’s pillow for his long awaited return. A return, of course, for which you would not be present. It took no time at all to reach out to a friend in Brighton Beach and ask if you could stay with her for a bit, as things had gotten murky with your boyfriend. The neighborhood was a bit further from work, but you didn’t mind. After all, you’d no longer be in any rush to come home in the hopes that you’d find Sonny. You’d just be going home to Kristin and her childish but sometimes amusing boyfriend. Plus, it was only temporary, you reminded yourself.

You changed your number, deleted your Facebook and Instagram, and created a new e-mail account in hopes of moving on and getting things together again. Sonny’s name had stayed on the lease and rent was drafted monthly from his account, so you weren’t too terribly concerned with that portion, either. Even more, you had started taking a new route to work just in case he tried to find you. For all you knew, though, he was still undercover, playing house with his new girlfriend. It occurred to you in a painful fashion that it was possible that his charade had been going on for quite some time - but, you weren’t worried about any communicable diseases, as you hadn’t been intimate with him in almost 9 months. It had been so long since you’d seen him, you had to admit you’d felt single but betrothed for so long, that you didn’t know how to act anymore.

“Alex is gonna invite some friends over tonight, cool?” Kristin asked you before you headed to work. It was too early for conversation but she was doing you a huge favor by letting you stay there, leaving you no option but to be polite.

“Yeah, no problem, you know that. I’m not gonna be home until like 8 or 9 tonight. The kids have their poetry reading tonight and I promised I’d supervise,” you explained as you slung your bag over your shoulder. “But yeah, definitely fine with me. See you tonight.”

When you finally arrived back home that night, you were surprised to see that Kristin hadn’t been lying. Usually her some people meant at least fifteen people crowded into the apartment, but this time it really was only Kristin, Alex, and three of their friends. Two females and one male, whose names you didn’t catch as you went to your room and secluded yourself from the festivities in the living room. They were playing cards and drinking, which was a fairly common way to pass the time for them, you’d noticed.

Even though you’d been staying with Kristin for about two months and had grown comfortable there, you wished you had your own place again. Before you met Sonny, you’d scored a loft for a steal and had stayed there for two years. But, along came Carisi and your life was flipped on its head. He changed so much of your day to day, you wondered how you’d ever move on without him.

There was a knock at your door as you were changing into more comfortable clothes. You grumbled and opened it to find the mysterious man in the hall. It was a welcomed interruption. Human interaction normally meant not thinking about Sonny, and when he was a 6′1″ linebacker build with brown eyes and a mess of brunette curls, you were obliged to interact.

“Hi?” you asked, brow arched.

“Hey. Sorry to bother you. Alex said that you might have a phone charger?” he asked and held up his dying phone.

“I do. Yeah, I’ll grab it,” you offered and walked over to your desk to unplug the cord. “When you’re done with it you can just leave it in the living room, I’ll grab it in the morning.”

“Uh.. I was actually hoping I could hide out for a while,” he said with a nervous laugh. “Kristin and Alex are about five minutes away from being pornographic and Jennifer and Rachelle are.. not far behind. I’m the DD so I can’t exactly leave them. But, if not it’s totally fine!”

You shrugged and handed him the charger. “You’re welcome to hang out here. I was just gonna watch TV for a while.”

“Thanks. I’m Ryan by the way.” He plugged the charger into an outlet and plugged his phone in, setting it down on the floor. He pulled the chair out by your desk and sat down, considerate enough not to assume he could sit on your bed with you.

“Y/N. Nice to meet you, Ryan.” You sat down and turned on the TV in your room, scanning until you found a B-Rated horror movie on Netflix and settled in. Your bed was against the wall, acting as a massive couch lined with pillows and blankets. It was comfortable, and you felt slightly selfish for making Ryan sit at the desk. “You’re welcome to sit over here, by the way. I know that’s an uncomfortable angle and a hard chair.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” he confessed and stood up, finding a spot as far away from you as he could. “You haven’t been living here long have you? I feel like I’ve only seen you once.”

You nodded absently and pulled your knees to your chest. “Just like, a couple months. I had a failed relationship and exiled myself to Brighton,” you explained with a small laugh.

“Me too, actually. That’s why I hadn’t been hanging out with Kris and Alex as much. My girl - ex girl - wasn’t a fan of their company, said they were too wild. I dunno, they seem alright to me. It’s good to be free again.”

You looked over at him and smiled. “You might be onto something. It is nice to know that I don’t have to expect anything. Things just are the way that they are.”

“You’re really gorgeous though. I doubt you’ll be on the market too long - unless you want to be,” he added quickly. Compliments and common sense.

“I dunno about that one, Ryan. I thought I had a good one last time - you know, being so pretty and all - but he wasn’t really around much. Left me pretty lonely, especially the last almost year of the relationship.” You sighed, and then kicked yourself mentally. You didn’t want to appear vulnerable but there you were, admitting freely that you hadn’t been intimate in almost a year. “It’s fine though, you know, I’m tough and everything.”

The blush that flashed across his cheeks meant that he knew what you’d accidentally confessed. “I’m sorry that you had to experience that. I hope that when you’re ready, you’ll find someone who gives you the attention that you definitely deserve.”

Embarrassed, you averted your eyes to the television in time to see a poorly made up zombie trudging through the woods outside of an unsuspecting family’s home. You suddenly felt awkward, your face burning and your heart racing. The freedom of knowing that you could lean over at any given point and touch this new friend of yours left your head spinning. You’d forgotten what it felt to be with anyone but Sonny, and truth be told you’d almost forgotten what that was like, too. You spent the next half hour staring at the screen without understanding what was happening; anything to avoid looking at him.

“Why do women wear heels when they’re staying at a cabin?” he asked after a while, watching a woman run through a dense forest in stilettos.

“Because they’re sexy.”

“You don’t need heels to be sexy, you know. A woman can look great in shorts and a hoodie,” he explained glancing over at you, pointedly, as you were wearing his described clothing combination.

“But stereotypical sexy means cleavage, heels, and an air of damsel in distress,” you countered, trying to ignore his compliment.

“That’s not really my thing, I guess.”

“Yeah, mine either. I mean the stereotypical man - the whole Harvard or Hudson look.. I hate it,” you confessed with a laugh. “Give me some flaws, some rough edges, something else.”

“You’re in luck. I am flawed, and very rough,” he replied, then laughed. “Not like that. I mean. No, no, nevermind.”

Pressing pause on the movie, you looked at the time and sighed. “Ryan, it is my bed time as of twenty minutes ago. I’m sorry to interrupt your internal conflict but I really have to tell you goodnight.” You scooted to the end of the bed and stood up, walking to the door.

He followed suit and grabbed his phone, pausing as he stood in between you and the door. The world moved slowly around you as he leaned down and placed his hand on the back of your neck, pulling you closer to his face. When he finally kissed you, he pressed his body to yours and pushed you back against the door frame. It was aggressive and sexy, but it wasn’t right. You pulled away a few moments later and stared up at him in confusion. Yes, you had enjoyed it, but it just wasn’t right.

“I.. uh..” you stammered, taking a step back. “I really need to sleep. I’ll see you around?”

“Goodnight,” he said with a smile, and headed back down the hall. He turned around a few seconds later and stopped. “Hey, also? Next week Jennifer is hosting a Halloween at her place in Queens. Go with me. You’ll have a good time. I was thinking about being a Priest but I’m not sure yet. I’ll pick you up.”

Once Ryan left, you shut and locked the door, fighting back the need to sob uncontrollably as you washed your face and brushed your teeth. You slept like absolute hell that night, dreaming of Sonny everytime you closed your eyes. Had you made the right decision? Who knew if he’d even read your letter yet.

#sonny carisi x reader #detective carisi x reader #carisi x reader #svu fanfiction #dominick carisi #sonny carisi

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transcriptroopers · 7 years ago

Text

Regarding Veteran’s Day

So it’s Veteran’s Day! 11/11 huh? Sometimes that brings back memories. I was in JROTC in high school and they organized the schools at these events every year. It was optional, but I attended every single Veteran’s Day memorial service, whether it was being on color guard or just showing up to stand with my fellow cadets in uniform. Some would leave as soon as the ceremony was done, but I loved to make the rounds and talk to the aging vets who came to speak at the ceremonies. I actually made my mom take me to it every year, and that is impressive for me because my mother was pretty abusive and I hated asking her for anything :’)

I hope all of my vet followers are gonna have a rad day. It’s Saturday! The world is at your finger tips. Spend time with friends and family; reflect on the good in your life.

and most importantly

As soon as the clock turned midnight, I knew it was Veteran’s Day. That’s because my passengers (I’m a Lyft driver) started giving me the ol’ “thank you for your service” (to which I always respond: “and thank you for yours!” because I choose to hear it as “thank you, a Lyft driver, for performing this service) razzle-dazzle but pumped up to eleven. And yeah, I bring it upon myself by even saying it. Somehow the passengers who want to converse with me always wind up asking me how I moved to the area or what kind of work I did, and having lived a pretty uneventful life I always wind up mentioning the army. But it’s not just Lyft, right? It’s like I can’t escape it. Every year I’m getting bombarded with e-mails, news articles, tumblr posts, webcomics, “thanking me for my service” and talking about how golly-gosh-darn much they respect the military and those noble folks who serve. I have some words that are part advice and part cry for help. I hope I’m understood, but this is personal for me, so it’s inevitably biased. Whether you read or skip, thank you for your continued support and appreciation, and I hope you appreciate my new URL based on the anti-fascist cult classic Starship Troopers.

— “Thank you for your service” isn’t common courtesy whenever you see a soldier. It’s just something civilians say because they’ve been taught all their lives to hero worship the military no matter what. The only ones who like you doing it are the ones who especially don’t need it – those who have some sort of superiority/martyr complex about being in military. Please don’t enforce this kind of culture. And I’m not saying “be disrespectful.” Just talk to veterans like normal people, yeah?

Other things NOT to say: • What did you do over there? • Did you kill/shoot anyone? • Did you like it? • So you’re probably in favor of -most recent military newspiece- • My so-and-so is in the military, so a) I’m going to talk about that for twenty minutes because I’m sure you appreciate hearing about other people in the military/ b) I 100% understand what you all go through. • That’s so brave/selfless/patriotic/courageous of you (to join) • So how much did they fuck you up/so did it leave it in one piece/other euphemisms for “are you disabled now and how?” • Me: “Oh, I was in the army.” You: *loud screeching, cheering, clapping, and wooing* (This is embarrassingly common in Lyfts). Please also don’t…run up to us suddenly and ask to shake our hands? Or just thrust your hand out and hope we reciprocate without even getting our attention? What are you doing??

Things that are okay to say: • Can I ask about your time in service? <— for real though like…stop assuming every vet wants to talk to you about everything they ever did in the military. • Were you stationed anywhere cool? <— gives vet option to omit assignments they don’t want to talk about/allows vet to decline to answer. people usually just straight up hit me with “where were you stationed?” like it’s an interrogation and like… no offense but ?? • Did you hear about -insert military news here-? <— vets aren’t a hive mind. We don’t always know what every other branch of the military is up to. People hit me with “What did you think about that x that happened in y because of z?” Also I once casually mentioned I spent a year in South Korea and got back “Oh man so you probably have the inside scoop on North Korea and everything huh?” and like…bro vets usually aren’t much more informed than civilians about military maneuvers tbh like sometimes they’re less informed because they think they don’t HAVE to be. And like…just in case I haven’t made it clear in the past, the vast majority of soldiers will never be in combat and they will never so much as aim their weapon at another person, let alone fire it. Somehow so many civilians seem to think soldiers shooting people is inevitable; i wonder why…

If you are with or know a veteran and you’re going to a restaurant courtesy of the now popular ploy of offering freebies on the 11th, be sure to

A. Tip on the original amount. Servers get fucking screwed on V-Day because veterans get their whole meal for free and tip on the cost of the drinks. Don’t be that asshole. B. Don’t engage the server with military stories or solicit perks because they’re “serving a hero.” They’re busy. They have four hundred other heroes to serve today who aren’t going to be tipping them and who expect way more respect given than they give in return so eat your free frozen spaghetti with microwaved meatballs and leave. C. On that last note consider just…NOT going to these restaurants?? Come on; they’re all overpriced and shitty chains and franchises with frozen food, they usually only offer you some partial free item or something from a list of like three super-limited entrees, and they want you to come and get a free meal so your friends and family feel obligated to come along and they have to purchase their meals and it’s really not about helping or appreciating veterans it’s about drawing business. Excluding poor veterans because free food is free food I get it. D. Consider giving your leftovers or perhaps your full free meal to a homeless person. Personally this is how I’m going to be spending V-Day; I’ll be going restaurant to restaurant for anyone who’ll give me that free food to go, and then I’ll just pass it out to the innumerable homeless lined up in my area. And no, not specifically homeless veterans. All homeless deserve to eat. I mention this specifically because I had a conversation recently with a Lyft passenger about how I thought it would be better to give all of this free food to homeless instead of soldiers, (because hint hint - active duty soldiers are veterans, and they’re getting this free food despite already having their every need provided for) and I was told that many homeless people are veterans, so it works out in the wash. • It can be hard to keep track of the dates when you’re homeless. You’re assuming they’ll know it’s the 11th to begin with, or that they’ll have access to the knowledge of which restaurants are offering deals. • Homeless people usually have to walk to get around, and the U.S. is not very accessible on foot. So you’re assuming that homeless person even has access to a restaurant offering this deal. • These deals usually require that you purchase a drink or something, and drinks can be upwards of $3. It’s like the only stipulation for it being “free” and it specifically inhibits homeless accessibility. • Homeless are not welcome in society. A homeless person, even a vet, walking into a restaurant for a free meal is facing a lot of risk; at the very least the staff will probably treat them poorly, at the worst they’ll be kicked out, especially if they try to use the bathroom because everyone assumes they’re doing drugs in there and not, you know, the thing we all have to do five times a day. • Trust me, I’ve gone to a lot of these free meal things. There ain’t no mass movement of homeless vets lining up to get that free food. Besides, if society wanted homeless vets to get the food, they would target homeless vets and low-income vets; not try to bribe people to bring their family to Applebee’s. And finally if you weren’t convinced • You need to have proof that you’re prior military to get that food. And not just like your old dog tags or being able to recall your time in service. You need a military I.D or a DD 214, the paper that officially releases you from service. How many homeless vets do you think are carrying around their discharge paperwork from decades ago? Does everyone on the streets have a valid ID? Dude some homeless don’t remember their goddamn names. Get a fuckin’ clue. In short

Happy Veterans Day. I hope all other veterans have a nice day. Please don’t hero worship soldiers. Please treat us like people. Please also look back on the lives lost in unethical political wars, illegal invasions, hostile takeovers, foreign overthrow of governments, and the ever-present “collateral” damage that is still murdering innocent civilians in the form of hushed up drone strikes. Please consider how the United States has been at war for 222 years out of its current 239 years of existence. Doesn’t that seem weird? Almost unreal? Like something out of a dystopian novel? Ask yourself why this holiday began as a remembrance of the dead and the celebration of the end of the Great War, a global day to celebrate world peace, and ask why it is that other parts of the world still know it as such while America’s 222 years of war has caused it to instead hail the tools of those wars. A final statement: there is currently nothing to thank your military for.

-Kingsley

#veterans day #military #army #navy #marines #air force

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sunshincwrites · 7 years ago

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general rydrey for the ship meme??

Gives nose/forehead kisses: I think Ryder would be the one to do this more than Audrey. He doesn’t do it often but he’ll kiss her forehead when they’re laying in bed and he doesn’t want to get up and everything just feels perfect.

Gets jealous the most: They both get jealous but it’s the way they react to it that differs. Audrey turns more in on herself and compares herself to whoever she’s jealous of like ‘she’s so this. I wish I could be like that too. He should be with someone like that.’ But whenever she gets like that, Ryder tries to remind her taht he only wants to be with her. Ryder has more of a physical reaction. He gets quiet and his body tenses up. He tries to tell himself the same thing, if she wanted to be with someone else, she would but it takes a bit more to talk him down.

Picks the other up from the bar when they’re too drunk to drive: Probably Audrey, just cause Ryder would be the one to go out with friends without her. Though for her girls night with Regan, Quinn, and Mandy he would volunteer as DD.

Takes care of on sick days: Both! Audrey probably takes care of Ryder better than he takes care of her. His idea of helping get better is soup, one or two rounds of medication as instructed by the label, and binge watching Netflix. So Audrey gets Progresso chicken noodle soup and a whole lot of FRIENDS whereas Adurey probably makes Ryder rest up and actually go see a doctor.

Drags the other person out into the water on beach day: Beach days with these two probably start out with both of them soaking in the sun while Maggie investigates the beach and the water. Once Audrey breaks out whatever book she brought along, Ryder will give her a kiss and then go play fetch with Maggie and see how far he can get her to swim out in the water. But after awhile, he’d get bored and try to get Audrey to go for a swim with him. He’s got this idea that anything at the beach is romantic, especially in the water so he offers going to the beach as often as possible for weekend plans.

Gives unprompted massages: Audrey does it more than Ryder would for her. Ryder carries his stress in his shoulders and the tension usually doesn’t find its way out of his body unless its worked out. Audrey can see that so she tends to rub his shoulders and back when she knows he’s stressed out from work or from having to deal with his dad. Ryder loves it and tries to tell her just how much he appreciates it every time he feels her hands start to press into his shoulders.

Drives/rides shotgun: Ryder drives. Right now he does it cause he knows that Audrey and Marley share a car and he has his own and doesn’t want Marley to ever get stranded somewhere so it’s just easier if he drives. He doesn’t mind it though, he likes driving.

Brings the other lunch at work: Audrey started bringing Ryder lunch at work, she knows he tends to get busy and tries to push through lunch instead of stopping to take a break. Now they meet up for lunch at least once a week and he’s trying to be better about bringing her something at her office too.

Has the better parental relationship: This one’s tricky cause they both have pretty shitty dads but have good relationships with their moms. So I guess it’s a tie.

Tries to start role-playing in bed: I’m not so sure that either of them are really into that. Like yeah, Ryder likes it when she gets dressed up for him but I don’t really see either of them being into roleplaying.

Embarrassingly drunk dancer: Ryder’s just an embarrassing dancer period but when they’re both drunk and together, they don’t even care about who sees them being their weird selves.

Still cries watching Titanic: Audrey. For sure. Audrey’s a romantic, of course she cries. But Ryder’s always there to be her shoulder to cry on and wipe her tears for her.

Firmly believes in couples costumes: Ryder. He’s already lowkey planning on them dressing up as Han Solo and Princess Leia next year for Halloween. And probably bringing along Maggie as a wookie, if he could get Oliver into a costume, he’d join in on the family fun.

Breaks the expensive gift rule during Christmas: Probably Ryder, just cause he wants to make sure she has a really great Christmas and gets gifts she deserves because she works so hard. But Audrey’s gifts for him always seem more thoughtful.

Makes the other eat breakfast: Audrey, probably. He goes into work pretty early as it is and he usually only grabs a coffee and a slice of toast or something and she already has to make sure he eats lunch sometimes. On the weekends once they finally get up, she probably has to tell him he needs to eat something.

Remembers anniversaries: Audrey is way more organized than Ryder is, probably because part of her job is keeping someone else’s life organized. It’s not like Ryder forgets or anything, he just needs a couple of reminders whereas Audrey probably has it written down in her planner for a while.

Brings up having kids: This is honestly a toss-up. They’ve briefly talked about either of them not being ready for kids just yet. But I think that the first time one of them sees the other playing with a kid or holding a baby or something it’ll click in their head like 'hey this is the person I wanna have kids with’ and then bring it up somehow.

Send a ship and I’ll tell you who

#wink!rydrey #answered memes

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druidcore · 7 years ago

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nsfw alphabet and split it up between all of our muses because... stealing your words... IDC DO IT DANI

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Tessa I can imagine being super snuggly after sex. Running her finger down Ford’s chest, sighing contentedly like a happy little kitten. She stretches out, burrows down into the bed and will stroke Ford all over. Her hands will grip his biceps and rub all the way down to his hands and up again, while she hums.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

April’s favorite body part for herself is actually her stomach. She’s spent hours before in front of her mirror running her hands over her taut skin, admiring the way her ribs don’t protrude, but expand like wings wrapped around her heart. She deeply romanticizes forgotten ares of her body showing them the love that the rest of her body gets without prompting, but her stomach is her favorite one. She intends to preserve it forever.

On Dominic, her favorite body part is his back. It’s corded with muscle speaking of years and years of dedicated work and labor. She daydreams daily of kissing him there, an inch above his jeans all the way to the nape of his neck. Her fingers itch to knead into his skin, working out all the tension and stress knotted there. His back is magnificent.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

One of Rhiannon’s dirtiest fantasies is to have not one –– but multiple people cum on her face. There’s something to the act, a little degrading and a little rewarding which pleases her. To be an object of desire that not just one but two (or even three) guys are obsessed with is something that has always fascinated her. She’s never admitted it to anyone though, out of partial shame and fear that she’ll be ridiculed or slut-shamed for it. Opinions on the matter tend to vary, and if she’d ever do it, she’d want to do it with people that wouldn’t make her feel dirty (in a bad way) for it.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Penelope once masturbated in the Quidditch stands. She was one of the only people there –– it was a cold day out –– and the Slytherin team was likely practicing and she was trying to study, but the more she watched them practice, the more she got the urge to do something a little… dirty. And before she knew it, her fingers were her down her skirt, behind her books. She came once and instantly stopped. The whole experience was incredible, but extremely nerve-wracking and she never did anything of the like again.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Safe to say Mandy’s got little to no experience. The first boyfriend she had tried to pressure her into sex and she didn’t want to and ended up running out of his house. The most they did was over the top petting and he made her stroke him and she hated it because he kept pointing out everything she was doing wrong, and it was all just too much too fast. And then her next boyfriend was a kid from her mom’s Church, and she set them up, and when Mandy was making out with him and actually wanted to jerk him off, he shamed her and made her feel dirty. Her relationships since have been with guys who make out with her and bring her to family events and stuff, but she always gets cheated on with other girls “willing to put out”. Because she’s from a small town there’s word around that she’s a goody goody among the school kids and then that she’s promiscuous among the church kids. Either way, no one is giving her any, so she hasn’t had chances to explore what she likes or not.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Ronan’s favorite position is actually simple missionary –– he likes to see a woman’s pleasure on her face as he’s, ahem, giving it to her. And honestly, what woman would protest that? Having him above with a hand braced on the wall, driving into her? It’s been nothing than successful so far.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Zahra is definitely kinda goofy. She likes to make her partners feel comfortable and will probably like laugh and smile a lot during sex, which sometimes intimidated some of her ex boyfriends because they weren’t secure in their confidence as a result of hers. She likes having fun, wild sex and trying new things and sometimes kind of embarrassing incidents occur and sometimes you just have to laugh them off and she’s great at that.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Before the whole apocalypse started, Willa occasionally shaved down there when she had to –– for bikini season and for swimming classes. But after, obviously things sort of took a turn. Razors weren’t really one of the most important things to stock-pile or focus on, so that… kind of took a backseat to bigger and more important things. Still, when her and JP started sleeping together, she put an effort into finding a pair of scissors at at least trimming a little when things got too wild. She’s not too bothered about the situation down there though, she’s never been too hairy, and honestly if he can’t deal with her body hair during the zombie apocalypse, there’s no way they’re ever going to make it out of it.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Nesrin has a hard time being intimate, if she thinks about it. Her favorite sex positions are reverse cow-girl and doggy, just because that level of eye contact and kissing during sex are so... intense and she never knows how to handle it. She’s never really had sex with someone she was in love with, and whether she knows it or not, it’s like she’s subconsciously waiting to be fully intimate (and romantic) with someone she does genuinely have feelings for. Malcolm, probably, would be the first. Uh oh.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Fallon can never get herself off. It’s just one of those things where it’s unsatisfying and she’s always left more frustrated after than before. She can’t manage to get out of her head –– she needs to be firmly planted in the moment to really get off. Her inability to do so leaves her feeling discontent and insecure. She’s tried –– believe her, but at a certain point she sort of just gave up and hasn’t bothered to keep trying. Now she only orgasms when someone (Graham) gives her one.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Mera’s definitely got a huge daddy kink and is always interested in a lg/dd type relationship. She wants to be pampered in every aspect of life and being “daddy’s little princess” is something that highly appeals to her. Her dating history has always landed her with attractive but trifling and broke men and so she needs someone sturdy and reliable, but still a little wild and sexy (and preferably rich lmao) to lay it down good, and spoil her with goodies and love and lots of sex.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Dana’s favorite places to “do the do” are pretty wild, as compared to the usual bed, bathroom, etc. She likes doing it in wide open spaces. Her biggest fantasy is to do it in big palace courtyard or something of the sort. Other places that rank up there are rooftops (element of danger there, obviously) and her high-school basketball court (the acoustics in that thing are phenomenal okay??).

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

There’s just something about sexting in plain view which gets Lauren wet like no other. When her and Josh are on opposite ends of the counter, looking so innocent as they wait for new customers in silence, but being so absolutely filthy in reality, she sometimes feels like she could hop onto the counter and ask him to have sex right there and then.

And the way his arms flex whenever he does anything flexible is also an incredible turn on. He’s got strong arms, and large palms. She finds herself daydreaming about their imprint on her ass more often than not.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Taylor’s absolute biggest no-no is anything to do with bodily fluids separate from cum. No golden showers, none of that. Despite being pretty nasty in bed, this is the one thing she’ll be super judgemental about and easily disgusted by, not only because personal hygiene is important to her, but because she also thinks it spawns terrible expectations and ideas in people’s minds.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Wes likes to receive more –– but that’s just because he’s so used to giving in all other aspects of his life, that getting feels like a huge gift to him? I feel like he really savors and appreciates every single blowjob he ever gets. As for his own skill in giving, his first girlfriend was older than him and boy did teach him him well.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Cassia is as #romantic #aesthetic sex as it gets. I’m talking like, candles and having slow sex in the moonlight. It’s hips writhing like the slow roll of the ocean waves and the drawn-out rise and plunge of herself on his length. It’s the complete opposite of frenzied. It’s intense, and yes, incredibly sensual. It’s a stimulation all over the body, everywhere they touch.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

It depends on the person she’s with, when it comes to Aislinn. She’s come to hate them with her boyfriend, because it feels impersonal and almost disrespectful, but she has a feeling that might not be the case with Jax, because he actually pays her pleasure attention.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Parker’s kind of wild tbh. He’s experimented a lot. He love love loves rectal stimulation and is always down to try new things, including but not limited to: threesomes, sex parties, sex swings, swinging… Anything along those lines he’s always ready to try at least once. His mantra happens to be: try it once, and if you don’t like it try it again just to make sure.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Justine is kind of-kind of not a virgin. There’s never been time to lose her virginity to someone, as in have sex, but she has broken her hymen before using –– yes, you guessed it –– a hairbrush. It hurt a lot and she had to weather it herself, but it hasn’t scared her off sex. She just hasn’t had time to have a boyfriend or anything, but she’s eager to actually have sex for the first time, especially since she won’t have to deal with the pesky issue of losing her virginity to someone who’ll blunder through it. She wants someone experienced who will take care of her right. But again, where even is the time?

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Tessa has tons, tons, tons of toys. In her line of work she prided herself on not having to sleep with anyone, but since a) not many of her past boyfriends had ever been adept at finding her G spot (or her clit) and b) she’s sometimes had to go through long dry spells without sex, she’s built up quite a nice little collection of toys. She tends to prefer dildos to vibrators because most brands tickle her too much, even though dildos are more work. Her favorite one is a waterproof clear silicone one that she saves just for when she wants to take a bath or shower –– which is, for some reason, her favorite place to masturbate. Something about the steam and the atmosphere.

She’s proud of her toys, and even when she’s in a relationship with Ford, she won’t throw them away. They’re her babies –– in fact, she might even have names for some of them.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Tessa is not a tease. Not at all. She has very little patience when it comes to someone she actually likes. If she wants him, she’ll make it obvious and she’ll go for it. And as for being teased, she has a love/hate relationship with it because on one hand she’s getting the attention she wants, but on the other hand, god damn it, its not enough –– she wants more.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Taylor is, of course, loud. Not only is she loud, she’s vocal about everything she’s feeling too. She grunts when Tyler bottoms out, she swears when she’s close to the edge, and during particularly exhaustive romps where they’ve fucked more than once in one night, his name tends to blur into other words. And she’s always been this way –– uninhibited. She’s the roommate you never want to have because sometimes not even wearing headphones is enough to block her out. If you’ll recall, she’s got the lungs of a future broadway star. Her voice can pitch super high –– the shitty university dorm walls never stood a chance.

BONUS: Tessa gets… very complimenting in bed. Ford can expect a lot of “oh god, I love your cock! don’t stop!” during and after. She’s also opinionated and will easily give directions like, “go faster!” “harder!” etc. until it’s perfect and by then she can hardly speak, save for the gibberish that’s coming out of her mouth.

EXTRA BONUS: Fallon is quiet. She’s not a screamer, she’s not loud, but in contrast it’s intense and earth-shattering the way she comes. Her breathing deepens and stills and she makes these short keening gasps the closer she gets to orgasm. She’ll try to moan Graham’s name, but the sheer pleasure makes it impossible for her to get past the first three letters before her eyes are rolling to the back of her head and she’s coming for him.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

It had to happen. It’s not that she’s got a dirty mind (alright, she sort of does) but they work at a bagel shop, for Christ’s sake. It’d be criminal of them to not take advantage of the fact. One day Lauren proposes to Josh that they make a bagel with a hole big enough to fit his dick through because… Well, why not? All the tools (pun intended) are at their disposal, and they’ve got the whole place to themselves after they lock up. Even if he doesn’t agree, it was worth a shot to ask, and to see the look on his face.

And if he does agree? Well, she loves Bagels, and she loves Josh’s dick so… Best of both worlds.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Yeah, Jasey definitely has a piercing down there. Her clit is pierced, something she got done when she was 18 and wanted to do something wild. Her and her best friend got it done together and cheered each other on. Jasey swore up a storm when it was done, because she’s incredibly sensitive down there. It also was a very hard healing process for her because it got infected once, but she took care of it afterwards and now it’s all good. She also happens to not shave or wax, but trips the pubes when they get too long. Her hair is light brown and slightly coarse, and grows slowly. She has to do maintenance maybe every three weeks.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Kaja’s sex drive has never been too high. She’s been called a prude many times simply because of it. Sex has just never been one of her primary, or even secondary interests. She’s also never met anyone where the connection between them has been electric. To be honest, her life has been pretty bland, as far as things go. She entirely expects for sex to be the same, even when others claim it’s this awesome, epic thing.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Nat never really falls asleep after sex. Due to always having to be on the run and on the move, there’s never anytime to sleep, and even if there was, she usually never trusts people enough to fall asleep next to them. However, down the line with Nik, I can imagine that show of like… vulnerability almost where she’d finally allow herself to nod off? I don’t know if she’d tell him the significance of it, though.

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carpemermaidtales · 7 years ago

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Hello!!! ❤ I was thinking about my favorite scenes/lines from my favorite fics and got to wondering what scenes/lines stood out to the people who wrote them. Lolol. What would you say are your top 10 favorite bits from your fics?

Ok, well I spent ENTIRELY too long doing this lmao (like an embarrassingly long amount of time, so thaaaaaanks)! *squints at you* Picking felt impossible, because I think I have favorite parts from everything I write--each of them feel like my children I’ve raised and released into the world. Not to mention, some of it I’ve just plum forgotten and I’ve had to skim through my stuff and re-discover it LOL. And then there’s stuff tied up in anon fests, and wips that aren’t even posted yet, and every time I write something new, that becomes my new favorite bit. Sometimes it’s a snappy line I’ve managed, sometimes it’s a little bit of imagery, and sometimes it’s a scene that I was most excited to write when planning the story concept.BUT BOY HOWDY, HERE WE GOOOO (cut for mermaid rambling):

1. “Don’t be so smug, Potter, it doesn’t suit you. You don’t have the bone structure for it,” Draco drawled when he’d regained his composure. (From Partners of the Four-legged Variety) // Now, there’s actually a lot of parts to this one I love, but this is one of my favorite snarky Draco lines I’ve got in my repertoire. I really enjoyed exploring Harry’s past issues with his childhood through the veil of Crup training and contrasting it with Draco’s more firm methods and Harry’s more lax ideals. I also love the beginning from this, Draco’s visitor badge when he enters the Ministry still makes me smile./2. “Hermione says I shouldn’t cast duplication spells on things I’m actually wearing, so,” Potter says absently as he lays his trousers on a desk. “We had a mishap once, when we were on the run last year.” (From It’s Joggers Season [or so the Muggles say]) // This is also a fic I somehow managed to pull a post-war emotional plot out of with the premise of Joggers, so, there’s that, too. I’m also quite fond of Harry’s first entrance at the beginning of the fic./3. I don’t have any one favorite line, but I’m pretty happy with the way the imagery turned out in when life hands you (lulu)lemons :) Especially the way the sunlight is described./4. The beginning of Harry + Draco’s date in Chapter 2 of Never Feel the Burning Light, and in particular Draco’s exasperation at Harry changing in front of him. Also the walk to WWW after the date. Also Harry and Lucius’ stand off at dinner in Chapter 3./5. The intervening years into adulthood—the stint in prison and Remus’s own ongoing battle with his personal demons—hadn’t made the all-consuming need wane in the slightest. It had taken them some time, tiptoeing around each other as they mended the scraps of their friendship, tattered and broken by a war against a madman, but then there had been Firewhisky to help smooth the way.Sirius couldn’t even remember which of them had moved first, but suddenly they’d been kissing each other roughly with just as much fierce passion as they had in those secret hiding places, their hands hungrily mapping the changes in their bodies from boys into men and fingers tugging urgently at clothes until there was nothing but the drag of their fingertips against heated skin and the faint trembling in their bodies when they sagged against each other afterwards, sated and panting. Remus’s lips had twitched with an amused, tired smile and Sirius wanted to crawl inside his body and stay there forever, his heart thudding heavily in his chest. (from By the Light of the Moon) // The thing I love most about writing Wolfstar is all the angsty, heart-panging feels for these two broken men who had to grow up way too fast, so exploring some of that threaded with a quickie for that month’s DD theme was really enjoyable./6. The kiss by the sea in Weekenders, but I also had a lot of fun creating this from the art it’s inspired by, especially Harry introducing Draco to pub games. This whole thing is an exercise in Harry introducing Draco to the Muggle world and it was a lot of fun to play around with!/7. More Draco in the Muggle world from Never Got No Good Doing What I’m Told, and all of Harry’s stalking and his convoluted ideas for what Draco’s motives are for going to the market and watching movies at the cinema./8. Keith cut Lance off before he could admit to whatever—or whomever—he thought of in his masturbatory habits by jumping on him, still sweaty and disheveled from his training, and slapping his hand over Lance’s mouth, catching Lance’s laughter in his palm.Lance smelled like citrus and coconuts—something he made himself from a planet full of lush fruits and plants they’d discovered in deep space. Keith fought hard not to lean closer and bury his nose in Lance’s neck. He was warm and soft and laughing against Keith’s hand, and Keith’s heartbeat was suddenly rocketing out of control, pounding away inside his chest.Sometimes Keith really regretted his impulsive decisions, after the fact. (from [don’t] hold my breath) // I’m also really fond of the imagery of this one, especially the descriptions of water and Keith’s dream about kissing Lance underwater. S O F T./9. “Oh, that works,” Lance said, grateful to finally have some relief from the sharp tugs of skin and awkward sleeping positions. He waited a beat before leaning close to Keith’s ear to tease him. “You should’ve just said you were down to cuddle. I love being the big spoon, you know? Or the little spoon. I’m not picky.” (from Stuck on You) // I also really adore all of Keith and Lance’s bickering in this one, and the descriptions of the Dr Seuss jungle planet in the beginning./10. Annnd for the last one I thought I’d go with something from my WIP folder, but I’m not sure whether to share an except of the magically binding New Year’s Eve promises or this Love Bug/Soulmate/Fake Dating Garrison AU (a smorgasbord of Voltron tropes), soooo both?

The Love Bug AU: Keith is like an octopus, his arms winding around Lance’s neck and latching onto him when Lance tries to squirm out of his hold.“Uh, quick question, what the fuck?” Lance asks, shooting a helpless look at Hunk.Hunk shrugs, looking just as bewildered and surprised as Lance is in that moment.All Lance can focus on—aside from, uh, everything, about Keith being all over him—is that wow, okay, Keith actually smells really nice and his hair feels soft brushing against Lance’s cheek. Keith peers up at him and Lance’s stomach swoops when their eyes meet—and, holy shit, are Keith’s eyes actually some kind of indigo? Lance thought they were just dark before, but now he sees the complex color and gulps. This was not how he pictured his night of celebration going.

The Drarry Magically Binding New Year’s Eve Promises: The magic was making his mind work in a maelstrom of thoughts, shoving desires and questions at him left and right. Will you please go out with me? Can I kiss you? Did you enjoy your date on Valentine’s? When will you leave me to get married? Harry was panting by the time he managed to get his mind under control. He realised belatedly that Draco was speaking to him in an increasingly faster and worried tone.“…something you took? Are Ron and Hermione alright? You’re starting to scare me, can you say something?” Draco’s words rushed at him in a rush of sound.Harry felt like a plug had been pulled and all of the water had drained from his ears with a swirling gurgle. He turned and clung to Draco’s arms instead of the sofa.“Water?” Harry asked, his throat scratchy and dry.Draco’s eyes darted back and forth, holding his gaze for a moment before he pulled his wand from his pocket and summoned a glass to fill with Aguamenti. Harry’s lips twitched briefly. Draco apparently didn’t want to leave his side, even for a short moment to get a proper glass of water. He took the glass with shaking hands and gulped it down in three large swallows that left him huffing for breath.“Better?” Draco asked.Harry nodded, feeling some of the magic abating when it didn’t seem like Draco was going to turn him away or turn him down immediately. He supposed just having Draco’s undivided attention was enough for the Promise for the time being. Harry sagged back against the sofa, sinking down heavily to sit on the arm. Draco hated when he did that, but he didn’t complain this time. His face was etched with worry.“Good. Now, you’re going to tell me what the fuck that was as soon as you’ve caught your breath,” Draco commanded. He crossed his arms tightly over his chest. Harry’s eyes rested on his forearms, appreciating the way they flexed.

/I wanted to include parts from our collab, too, but I think I’ve forgotten which bits you wrote and which were mine because damn did we blend it all together well hahaha! This was super fun, boo, thanks for asking!! It made me think of taking this one step further and making it into a game: list your 10 fave parts from your fics and have people send in their favorite line/scene/etc from one of the fics listed! (people, consider this carte blanche to do that with this list)Expect me to come back at you with this question in your inbox, too!

#drarry #klance #carpemermaid writing #carpemermaid answers #bixgirl1 #self rec #omg don't judge me this took SO LONG #*sweats loudly*#*scurries off to write erised stuff*

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writing-right · 7 years ago

Text

Flowers

Fandom:Percy Jackson

Ship: Solangelo (Yes, again. I have no shame)

Prompt: “Sometimes I steal flowers from your garden on my way to the cemetery, but today you’ve caught me and have demanded to come with me to make sure the “girl is pretty enough to warrant flower theft” and I’m trying to figure out how to break it to you that we’re on our way to the a graveyard” With Nico staring as the flower thief and Will being the flower holder person.

The first time Nico stole someone else’s flowers, it was completely by accident. Usually, he buys the flowers a day or two ahead, so he can definitely remember to go. But the last two days he’d been awfully busy. His friends Jason, Percy, Leo, and Frank thought it would be a good idea to have a “Guy’s Weekend” over at Jason’s place. And so, wanting to try and be a good friend, he went.

They watched movies, played video games, attempted doing card tricks, and just doing whatever they wanted. Nico had to admit, he did have a pretty good time. But in the back of his mind, he still thought of the flowers.

So, first thing Monday morning, Nico left Jason’s. He intended to go to whatever store was nearest and buy some flowers. Until he realized that he had no idea what stores were nearest to him.

He could recall that Jason’s place was closest to his destination than his own house, as he usually drives or rides his bike. So, he set off, with the intention of picking up whatever flowers he found along the way.

As Nico was nearing his destination, a slight panic came over him. He still didn’t have flowers.

When he has about two or so blocks away, he stated to look around. He saw this house that had a lovely garden in the front. It had flowers of different color and variety.

Part of him knew what he was about to do was wrong, but another part of him just didn't care. He needed the flowers. Plus, he could always stop buy and apologize.

So, without any more doubts, Nico headed towards the strangers garden. He didn't want to take too many, as that would be too noticeable. He decided to jus take one of every flower.

Once he had what he needed, he quickly left the garden, intending to apologize the next time he came around. He was unaware of the eyes that were watching him from behind the window of the house who’s flowers he just stole.

The next time Nico stole flowers, it was, once again, accidental.

He had a lot on his mind. He was going to meet up with his friend Reyna afterwards. He hadn’t seen her in a while, as she had traveled out of the country to visit some family, so he was excited to see her again. He just wanted to get some flowers and drop them off.

Except that he woke up later than usual that day and had just about two hours until he had to meet up with Reyna.

So, Nico quickly threw on some clothes and was out the door onto his bike. He didn’t have any time to go to any store, so he just rode on down the same path he took last time.

He ended up at the same house as before. He knew he shouldn't take any more flowers (he still hadn't apologized for the last flowers he had taken). But he was empty handed. He couldn’t show up empty handed.

So, with the intention of both apologizing and replacing the flowers he took, he didi what he dd last time. He took one of every flower. He was semi-pleased to find that, if you didn’t pay too close attention, you wouldn’t even notice the missing flowers.

Nico left the garden, once again not noticing that he was being watched.

From then on, it just became kind of, instinctual. Anytime he was going to his destination, he always ended up by the same house. Nico never took too much, not wanting it to get noticeable, but he took just enough.

But even though he was taking their flowers, he never actually met and apologized to the owner of the flowers. He had hoped he would get to one day.

After a couple of months of flower stealing, Will decided he wanted to meet this flower stealer. He had nothing against them. Will always planted new flowers after the boy left. He was just, curious. Curious as to where his flowers were going. Curious as to why they had decided to steal his flowers.

So, after a quick calculation, he found when the Flower Boy, as he has started to call him, would come by again. He always came by on the twelfth of every month. So the next time the twelfth came around, Will sat the porch steps, waiting for his Flower Boy.

Nico took his time walking today. He was walking from his house all the way to his destination, which was a good two or so miles. But he didn’t mind. He needed time to think.

The only thing that was bothering him as the cold. It was December now (he had been stealing flowers for about 6 months now, he realized) which meant that it was cold pretty much 24/7.

He wrapped his aviators jacket tighter around himself, then shoved his hands in his pockets to keep them warm. He was nearing the house. Maybe he shouldn’t steal today. Maybe today he’ll just walk by it. Yeah. He’ll just walk by it.

Nico was walking by the house when he heard an unfamiliar voice.

“Hey!”

He turned around. Standing at the gate of the house whose flowers he usually steals was a boy about his age, maybe a year older. He looked to be a bit taller than Nico was, with shaggy blonde hair that reminded him of the sun. He was wearing a beanie on his head, gloves on his hands, jeans and a plain turquoise hoodie.

“Uh, yeah?” Nico looked at the boy quizzically.

“You’re not gonna steal any flowers today?” The boy had a hint of a smirk on his lips.

“What do you- oh.” Nico’s face reddened. He realized who this boy was. This was the owner of the flowers.

Sunny, as Nico had decided to call him, chuckled. “Yeah. So . . .”

“So . . .” Nico ran his hands through his hair. “You’re, uh, probably wondering about the flowers. And who I am.”

Sunny chuckled again. “Yeah, those would be nice to know. How about you show me where my flowers disappear to, and on the way there, you can tell me about yourself?”

“Yeah. Sure.” Nico was about to lead the way when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Wait. Can’t forget about these.” Sunny put a handful of flowers into Nico’s hand. Nico looked at him, confusion on his face.

Sunny chuckled once again. “Consider these on the house. Besides, I usually plant more.”

This time it was Nico who chuckled, if only a little. He took the flowers from Sunny’s hands. Then he lead the way, with Sunny walking next to him.

“So, what’s your name?” Sunny asked.

“Nico Di Angelo. And you?”

“Will Solace.”

“Nice.” Nico inwardly cringed when he said that. Will, on the other hand, laughed. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

They walking in silence after that. Will was wondering where they headed. Nico was wondering how to break it to Will where they were going.

Finally, they approached the entrance. They stopped walking. Nico turned his body to Will’s, but refused to look at him, his gazed fixed on he flowers. Will looked at the gates, then at the flowers, and then rested on Nico. A look of understanding dawned on his face.

“Oh, I see. May I ask who?” His eyes watched Nico for any sign that he was getting too nosy.

“How about I show you instead.” Nico looked back up and lead Will beyond the gates.

A few seconds later, Will and Nico stood in front of a tombstone that held flowers in different stages of life. The tombstone itself read “Biana Di Angelo: Beloved daughter, sister, and friend. 1995-2007.” Nico walked over and placed the new flowers next to some of the older flowers. He stayed there.

Will watched Nico. He figured Bianca must have been Nico’s sister. He also figured that the two must of been really close. He stood there awkwardly for a bit before deciding to kneeling next to Nico.

Nico felt the presence next to him and figured that Will was kneeling next to him. He appreciated that. The two barely even knew each other, yet Nico was showing Will something that was really personal and Will was being respectful about it.

After a couple more seconds, Nico pushed himself back until he was sitting on the grass. Will did the same. The two sat in a comfortable silence facing the tomb before Will broke the silence.

“So, was she your sister?”

“Yeah. She was the best.”

“Can I ask how?” Will watched Nico.

“Car accident. My mom and her were driving home late at night when a drunk driver drove through a red light.”

“What about your dad?” “He left when I was barley a year old. Bianca was two.”

“Ahh, I see.”

A comfortable silence settled over the two of them.

“So,” Will started. “Why weren’t you going to bring flowers today?”

Nico started fiddling with the skull ring on his finger, a gift from his sister. “Today’s the anniversary.”

“Oh.” Was all Will managed to say. The two sat in silence once again.

“Do you wanna talk about her? I bet she was a lovely person.”

Nico smiled. “Yeah. Yeah, she was.”

Nico started to tell Will everything about Bianca. Will happily listened. He was glad he had waited on the porch steps today.

#solangelo #Nico di angelo #will solace #flowers #flower stealing #bianca di angelo #winter #anniversary #sorta sad #I think #semi feels #possible sequel #graveyard #cemetery

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daresplaining · 8 years ago

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Hey, me again. This may seem like a weird request, but have their been any memorable times, in your opinion, where Matt has been really kind and compassionate to others in the comics? Not just in a 'willing to do violence on your behalf sort of way' but in any other way as well.

Sure! Matt is generally a very empathetic and compassionate person. That’s one of his myriad reasons for being a superhero (and a lawyer too, for that matter). Of course, he’s (usually…) kind and caring toward his loved ones, but it’s telling that he has also been known to show compassion not only for strangers, but for his enemies as well– so that’s what we’re going to focus on here. There are more moments than we could possibly include here without making this post ridiculously long, so rather than trying to cover everything, we’ve narrowed it down to some of our favorites.

Matt: “The media likes to pigeonhole anyone in a costume into easily digestible sound bites. ‘The Man Without Fear’ is the title they’ve stuck me with. What they’ll never understand, of course, is that it’s not a matter of fear. It’s about honestly asking yourself, ‘What other choice is there?’ It’s about caring.”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #303 by D.G. Chichester, M.C. Wyman, and Christie Scheele]

First and foremost…

Matt: “Gee, you’d think someone would help that blind man across the street! Say, mister… can I give you a hand? He didn’t seem to hear me! He might be deaf, too! Say… there’s a truck turning the corner… coming towards him! […] He won’t have a chance… unless I can reach him in time!”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #1 by Stan Lee, Bill Everett, and Sam Rosen]

Matt’s origin story is characterized by what is inarguably an act of courage– but more than that, it is an act of compassion. He notices a stranger in peril, he sees that no one else is going to help, and he puts his own life at risk to do something about it. This willingness and desire to be a force for good in the lives of people he doesn’t know is at the core of why Matt becomes a superhero, and it’s a desire that keeps him going later on, in spite of everything it costs him. After all of the pain this preliminary selfless act brings him, young Matt could very easily have lost interest in helping others right then and there. But he doesn’t.

Willie: “Skip it, DD! It ain’t a pretty yarn anyhow! And it’s something– I gotta ‘tend to– by myself!”

Matt: “Okay, mister! I’m not about to pry! But, let me leave you with this thought– There are lots of people– without sight– who lead useful, productive lives! All it takes is guts– the kind of guts you’re loaded with, Willie!”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #47 by Stan Lee and Gene Colan]

1960s Matt did a lot of 1960s things, including once performing for American soldiers in Vietnam. In the audience at one of his shows is a young man named Willie Lincoln, whose battle injuries have left him with rapidly deteriorating eyesight. While watching the performance, his vision gives out completely, driving him into a fit of panic. Matt hears about this, tracks Willie down, and visits him in the hospital, wanting to offer someone suffering through a life change he knows all too well some encouraging words. They talk, and when Willie tells Matt that he is in legal trouble with some corrupt cops at his job back home, Matt immediately agrees to represent him in court pro bono (courtesy of his *cough* lawyer friend). Matt helps Willie to restart his life once he returns from service, and provides him with hope in what he’d previously seen as a hopeless situation.

Willie: “Y’know, boy– just a short time ago I thought I’d really hit bottom! But then I found me a friend– and cleared my name! Now, even without my eyes– I’m looking forward to tomorrow– for the first time! I feel like I’m part of the human race again! Murdock never made a big deal about it– but, when you get down to where it’s at– maybe that’s what brotherhood is all about!”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #47 by Stan Lee and Gene Colan]

The two end up becoming close friends, and Willie sticks around for a while as a recurring member of the Daredevil cast. (Sadly, however, he hasn’t been seen in a long time. Marvel, bring him back!)

Foggy: “…You’ve really let yourself in for it this time, Matt. I mean, since it’s been named a federal case– there’s nothing a lowly district attorney could do to help the Hulk– even if I wanted to!”

Matt: “And you’re probably right in advising me to withdraw from the case… but somehow, I just can’t! The Hulk is alone– friendless– as much sinned against as sinning. Thus, I feel that I have to defend him… even if it may mean the end of my legal career! If you can’t understand that… then I don’t know who will!”

[Incredible Hulk vol. 1 #153 by Gary Friedrich, Dick Ayers, and Herb Trimpe]

We’ve mentioned Bruce Banner a number of times when talking about Matt’s friends, and he is someone who Matt will always drop everything to try and help. In their very first encounter, Matt is hired to defend the Hulk in court. When the Hulk turns violent (no surprise there) everyone else involved with the case treats him as a threat. But Matt sees past the violence and understands that the Hulk is suffering, and reacting in the only way he knows how. Matt offers Bruce/Hulk his support and friendship, and places both his legal career and his life on the line to help him get a fair trial and a chance at a normal life. This is a choice he makes again and again over the years, as Bruce continues to be betrayed and abused by the system and the world in general.

Matt: “Melvin, we’ve come so far. I know how much you want to be well… to go straight. We can help you, Betsy and I.”

Melvin: “I been trying, Matt. I been sitting in that courtroom, listening to them say those things about me, feeling my guts churn up, wanting to rip them all to pieces… They hate me. They all hate me… so I’m gonna hate them back!”

Matt: “I’m not letting you off that easy. If you want to become the Gladiator again, you’ll have to get past me.”

Melvin: “Past you?! Look at you– you’re just a skinny little blind guy! I’d break you in half! It’d be easy […] Why not? I’m the Gladiator! The Gladiator! When I’m wearing my armor, I’m unbeatable. I’m… I’m all alone. Help me… please…”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #173 by Frank Miller, Klaus Janson, and Glynis Wein]

The Gladiator is an early DD villain who was gifted with a lot of extra complexity and the possibility of redemption by later writers. After fighting him for years, Matt is finally confronted with Melvin’s humanity and suffering, and immediately joins forces with his parole officer/psychiatrist/eventual girlfriend Betsy Beatty to give him both legal and emotional support. Matt comes to understand that Melvin’s fits of criminal behavior are brought about by feelings of isolation and helplessness– and while he doesn’t always succeed, Matt at least tries to be there for him when he needs help.

Jester: “A moment ago, you unmasked. Now I shall perform a similar gesture… I am, your humble and obedient servant– the Jester! At your service!”

Matt: “You deserve the bow. You were magnificent.”

Jester: “Indeed! I trust the critics will change their tune.”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #218 by Denny O’Neil, Sal Buscema, and Christie Scheele]

This is a touching issue– surprisingly so for a story about the Jester. Despite his goofy appearance and Silver Age-y backstory, the Jester is a dangerous criminal. He specializes in misinformation and mass media manipulation, and he has wrecked the lives of Matt and his friends on a number of occasions. However, at heart he’s just a spurned actor looking for an appreciative audience. When Matt learns that the Jester has kidnapped an actor who was supposed to perform on live TV, and jumped into the main role himself, he hurries over, ready for a fight. However, when he gets there he discovers that all the Jester is doing is… well, acting– and doing a really good job of it. Realizing that his enemy is achieving a harmless lifelong dream, Matt decides to leave him alone, and distracts the cops who have arrived on the scene long enough to allow the Jester to get his longed-for applause.

Number Nine: “A girl should look her best in battle!”

Brandy: “God give me strength, and keep me from slapping the lipstick off that bimbo!”

Matt: “Brandy, you fight for so many humane causes, can’t you muster up some compassion for that poor girl?”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #273 by Ann Nocenti, John Romita, Jr., and Christie Scheele]

The “Lone Stranger” arc of Matt’s story presents a fascinating exploration of his mindset and morality. In the aftermath of his first major run-in with Typhoid Mary, Matt is left physically and emotionally destroyed. Unable to face life in New York City, he gets on a train upstate with no plan or destination. The method he comes up with to cope with the pain of his lost life is a complete smothering of his thoughts and emotions. He lives from moment to moment, immersing himself in his immediate sensory experiences, and emotionally cutting himself off from the world around him.

Over the course of his trek across upstate New York he has brief encounters with people in need. One of the most notable of these encounters is with a woman called Number Nine. She is an escapee from what is essentially a slave trade, in which women are genetically engineered to be beautiful, docile, identity-less, and are then sold to men looking for “perfect” wives. Having been through this process, Number Nine remembers nothing about who she was or where she came from, and struggles to understand her new existence. She imprints on Matt (another effect of the procedure), and while he is initially hesitant to let himself get involved, still determined to avoid personal connections, he tries (with… varied success and tact) to provide her with support as she negotiates the confusion of her new life and programming.

Number Nine: “Oh! It’s okay, I have a healing power! They gave it to me… […] You’ll see, my cuts will heal, fast, like magic!”

Matt: “Number Nine– try to tell me what you were doing just now…”

Number Nine: “Cutting. I think it’s… Physical pain– it helps drown out the pain in my mind… Cutting helps…”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #273 by Ann Nocenti, John Romita, Jr., and Christie Scheele]

This is a loaded story arc, and Number Nine is a character who deserves a lot more attention and analysis than what we have time for here– but we wanted to at least mention her.

Matt (caption): “The words don’t come easy… but ultimately, they must come. Leave it unsaid, risk dwelling on the evil this man’s done– the injuries he’s brought down on my life, onto others’– and the road traveled is one of bitterness. Of revenge. But let go of the hate, rise about it, and maybe there’s something worthwhile that can provide the inner drive. Maybe then there’s hope for something noble.”

Matt: “I forgive you…”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #300 by D.G. Chichester, Lee Weeks, and Christie Scheele]

This is a big moment from the pivotal “Last Rites” arc, in which Matt finally topples Fisk’s criminal enterprise and destroys his life, in much the same way that Fisk once destroyed his. When the final fight is over and the Kingpin is left physically and emotionally beaten, hunched in the remains of his once-great empire, Matt finds the will to look past all of the pain his nemesis has heaped on him over the years, and to offer forgiveness and a chance to remedy their mutual hatred. It’s not exactly an act of compassion, and it’s a gesture that Matt angrily takes back not long afterward… but given the circumstances, it’s a testament to Matt’s willingness to try to be a positive force for others– even for those who least deserve it.

Matt: You’re going to make it, hear me? You’re gonna–

Owlsley: “You should’ve let me…”

Matt: “Unh-uh. You take my hand– you’re willing to take my hand– I don’t let go. You’ve got some long ways to go, mister… but you can count on me…”

[Daredevil vol. 1 #303 by D.G. Chichester, M.C. Wyman, and Christie Scheele]

The Owl has always gotten the short end of the characterization stick as far as Matt’s villains are concerned. He’s your typical over-the-top, hilariously avian-themed bad guy in his early appearances, and a bumbling Kingpin-wannabe later on. Only a few writers have attempted to add nuance to his story. The most notable development in this direction is a story arc that sends him into a literal physical breakdown. He discovers that the procedures he has subjected himself to over the years in order to make himself more birdlike are slowly destroying his body, and he is forced to face the truth of his own mortality and legacy. When he attempts a desperate scheme to reestablish himself as a power within the criminal underworld, Matt is, of course, right there and waiting to stop him. But when he witnesses firsthand the broken, haunted person Owlsley has become, he steps in to save his life, and to offer him the hope of moving forward in a positive direction.

Sadly, this step forward in their relationship has been ignored by most of the creative teams since. Clearly, Owlsley is most useful and fun to write when he’s completely villainous.

Matt: “Why are you doing this to her?”

Natasha: “She thinks she’s Natasha Romanov. She thinks she killed Yelena Belova. But she is Yelena Belova. She’s coming undone.”

Matt: “But why, dammit?”

[Black Widow (2001) #2 by Devon Grayson, Greg Rucka, and Scott Hampton]

“Breakdown” is one of our favorite comics, and one we’ve been meaning to post about for a while, so this seemed like the perfect place to mention it. It’s also known as Black Widow (2001) #1-3, and features Matt in the role of sympathetic outsider. The previous arc of the series introduces Yelena Belova, a young graduate of the Red Room who is determined to prove her skills by killing Natasha and usurping her as the Black Widow. She faces Natasha and Matt (who cameos in that arc as well) as an enemy. But in “Breakdown” the situation becomes a bit more complicated. Wanting to teach the arrogant young agent a lesson about the realities of being a spy, Natasha has Yelena kidnapped and surgically switches appearances with her. Yelena wakes up in Natasha’s apartment, frightened and confused, and is forced to live Natasha’s life while rapidly losing grasp of her own identity. Having previously seen Yelena only as a threat, Matt is initially happy to involve himself in Natasha’s plan to mess with her. However, when confronted firsthand with her terror, he tries to stop the mission and steps in to comfort Yelena, despite Natasha’s insistence that he not interfere with her breakdown.

Yelena: “…You…know?”

Matt: “Yes.”

Yelena: “Then who… Who am I?”

Matt: “Yelena Belova.”

Yelena: “Yelena… I’m… Yelena Belova… the Black Widow…”

[Black Widow (2001) #3 by Devon Grayson, Greg Rucka, and Scott Hampton]

Of course, Natasha knows Matt very well, and we can assume she knew all along that he would react this way.

Matt (caption): “Over the deafening house music, I pick out one heartbeat. It has to be one of the kids… because my gut clenches with anxiety the closer I get to him.”

Matt: “Ssssh. It’s all right. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m a good guy, see? No fear, kiddo. No fear. You’ve got to be brave–”

[Daredevil vol. 4 #10 by Mark Waid, Chris Samnee, and Matt Wilson]

Matt has had a lot of great moments with young children over the years, and we weren’t planning on including them because showing compassion toward suffering kids– while always touching and wonderful– isn’t really that notable. He’s a good guy. Come on. (We may end up doing a separate post on that, actually…). But we had to include this one because the Purple Children technically count as antagonists, and because we just really like it. He helps them, despite how dangerous they are and the horrible things they do to his emotions, and it seems that his willingness to help them again in the current run may be what caused his life’s most recent implosion.

Matt: “I’m worried about him, Tasha.”

Natasha: “Oh, come on! Clint’s a big boy now– and an Avenger, to boot. He’ll be fine.”

[Daredevil and the Black Widow vol. 1 #99 by Steve Gerber, Sam Kweskin, and Stan Goldberg]

And of course, there’s this memorable exchange from the masterpiece that is DD 99, which we’re contractually obligated to mention whenever possible.

Foggy: “He will confound you. He will frustrate you. He will make your choices FOR you, he will manipulate you without CONSULTING you, and you will want to PUNCH him in his self-assured face at least ONCE AN HOUR. […] But he will care about you in a way that no one else ever could.”

[Daredevil vol. 4 #5 by Mark Waid, Chris Samnee, and Javier Rodriguez]

We wanted to end with this great quote from Foggy, because it exemplifies this side of Matt’s character. He’s not perfect, and he may not always show it, but he does care– to a gut-wrenching degree– about the people around him.

#queenmorganlafay #Daredevil #Matt Murdock #Willie Lincoln #Bruce Banner #Melvin Potter #Jester #Number Nine #Wilson Fisk #Leland Owlsley #Black Widow #Yelena Belova #Purple Children #Phew...#Asks #Commentary

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