#life can gargle my balls

[mooifyourecows]

the vibes today are atrocious

which should be illegal because i look cute

[jupitervega]

asked 4 help on the bookbindin subreddit & some fucken jabroni has to give me grief for typin "-in" at the ends of some words instead of "-ing" & like

i personally myownself don't PRONOUNCE that fucken g when i speak most of the time, & i use a lot of other southernisms, & there ain't a single damn thing wrong with composin posts that Sound The Way I Sound !!!!!

& if any a y'all anywhere got issue with the way i write, y'all are cordially invited to get glad in the same pants y'all got mad in cause i ain't stoppin (ง •̀_•́)ง

[gurugirl]

I need a breeding kink blurb PLS 🙏🙏🙏

⛔️ WARNING ‼️ SMUTTY SMUT BREEDING KINK SIZE KINK ALL THE KINK (enjoy 🤭) + plus a link to an audio porn on tumblr to really get into that wet pussy sound 🙈 I'm so sorry in advance but I am in fact ovulating according to my calculator and this was... Anyway there's no plot, this is basically only smut. PLEASE DON'T READ IF YOU'RE NOT INTO THIS KIND OF THING THANK YOU

587 words

😈😈😈😈

"Oh baby... look a'you... getting stuffed so deep. Loves getting her little pussy filled up and bred yeah? Need Daddy's come honey? Need me to put more babies in this belly? Fuck you til your tummy's swollen, your tits are full of milk, and pussy ruined?"

"Mmm..." you tried moaning but you were out of breath and your gargled noises were stifled by the way he was plowing into you, long and heavy strokes that dipped into your guts and punched the air from your lungs. All you could do was lie there with your legs spread apart as he fucked the life from you. His fat cock was making your walls ache he'd been going at if for so long.

"Can't speak, little mama? Don't want the kids to hear do we? That's right... just let daddy fuck you til your come hole is full of my sperm and let it sink in deep so I can knock you up over and over again. Likes her pussy stuffed with cock and come and her womb full of babies..."

Harry loved it when you were pregnant. You already had two kids and he was raring to go for a third. But so were you. You loved watching him be a dad. And you'd love to see him holding another tiny baby again - your tall, tattooed, and strong husband holding that delicate bundle against his chest with tears in his eyes, humming a tune and swaying slowly back and forth. Just for that, you'd give him as many babies as he wanted.

"Already had you stuffed with all my cream this morning, now here you are all sweaty and gagging for more. Fucking need it don't you? Gonna take my come honey? Little mama wants it, yeah?"

You could barely nod but you managed to knock your head back and forth. You were exhausted after he'd already given you two orgasms but now you could feel him coming to his end, his arms were shaking and his thrusts were getting sloppy with that big cock twitching as he stretched your walls. His impressive size was addicting.

"You ready? Think you can take another load?"

"Mmmm..." a pathetic wet mumble fell from your lips as Harry choked out a groan, trying to keep quiet so as not to wake the kids and you felt him throb and throb as he dropped his mouth open wide and pasted his hips against yours, unloading hours and hours worth of vital come into your womb, his balls emptying every drop inside of you.

You were very much done for by the time he pulled out but Harry wasn't. He angled your hips up with a heaving chest and stuffed himself back inside, holding his shaft to keep steady as he fucked his come into you, "There we go. Let's get that all in there," he watched as he dipped inward, keeping you full of his sperm, wet squelches (NSFW LINK - opens up a tumblr audio porn, no visuals 😈) coming from your pussy with the way he was plunging back into you to make sure his come didn't leak out, "Get that pussy fed and happy," he hissed as he pumped in gently, his cock sensitive to the touch after his orgasm.

He enjoyed the view of it... your shiny puffy pussy wrapped around his thick shaft as he pushed his come back inside you until he couldn't stay hard any longer. You were sure that was baby number three.

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[lipglossanon]

Day 24

Kink: Cock Worship

Pairing: Leon S. Kennedy x Kitty!reader

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, hybrid AU, cock worship, dirty talk, blow job, ball sucking, deepthroating, throat pie, cum swallowing, pet names

not proofread

You’re an insatiable force to be reckoned with, something Leon found out immediately once you moved in with him. After retirement, Claire dumped you into his lap. Quite literally. He came home from stocking up on groceries, had just settled down on the couch with a beer and some shitty TV when Claire breezed in with a spare key— 

(“You know that’s for emergencies, right Redfield?”

“Your whole life is an emergency, Leon.”)

—set you down in his lap with a short introduction and headed out the door. 

Months later, he still hasn’t told her thank you, but then again she’s seen how much more relaxed he’s been so that must be thanks enough. 

Now however, he’s waking up to you nuzzling his dick through his briefs (for the third time this week). Your tongue bathes his thickening cock through his underwear, soaking it down until it’s molded around his dickprint. You chuff and whine, face pressed to his bulge as you rub your cheek against him. 

You don’t go any further and Leon’s hard as a rock, trying to keep quiet and stay still to let you have your way. Mewling, you suckle the tip that begins to poke through the leg of his briefs. His eyes practically cross as your rough tongue laps at his slit over and over, eagerly licking up the precum that’s beginning to drip from his tip.

“Kitten,” he groans out, gravelly with sleep. “Baby, I just woke up.”

You hum, sleek tail swishing behind you as your eyes gleam up at him from between his thighs. Without hesitation, you yank his briefs down, watching his uncovered dick flex. Burying his cock in your throat suddenly, he tries his best not to cum. One hand rakes through his hair as the other rubs across your ears. Whining, you slurp messily at his dick before pulling up. 

“Just wanted a taste,” you pout for a split second before your tongue lolls out to lap at his sticky tip. 

“Yeah? Fuck,” he groans. “My little kitten just wanted some cream.”

You moan, eagerly sucking his cock back into your mouth. It’s warm and wet, drool slipping from your lips as you bob your head up and down. The suction is to die for—he’s never had anyone give head half as good as you. Your rough sandpaper tongue laps up the precum and spit dripping down his cock before licking down to his balls. 

“Fuck, kitten,” he groans, spreading his legs so you can suckle and lick at his sac. “So good.”

You whine and gargle around trying to fit his balls into your mouth, saliva coating the thin skin. The vibrations from the noises you’re making has his cock leaking steadily, a puddle forming against his pelvis. Your eyes must light onto it because you pull back with a ‘pop’, his balls now shiny with spit, as you lick your way up his cock then to the puddle on his skin, lapping it up with a mewl.

“You got it all over your lips, baby,” Leon grunts, cock kicking and blurting more precum for you to lick up. “Such a messy girl.”

“Mmhmm,” your tail drapes over his legs, tickling the hairs. “But I’m your messy girl.”

“Y’sure are,” he pets your ears and you smile, sharp little teeth on display. 

With another swish of your tail, you drop open your mouth and swallow as much of as his cock as possible. He bucks up into your face and you moan, more of his dick sinking into your throat. Leon’s pretty worked up by this point, so it’s not long at all before his balls begin to draw up. 

“G’nna cum,” he groans loudly. “Fuck, gonna cream your tight fucking throat.”

Mewling, you bat your tear stained eyes up at him and relax your mouth to sink even further down on his dick. 

“Fucking, god—“

His cock kicks, ropes of cum spurting from the tip as you drink it all down. You pull your mouth up, letting him shoot the rest of his load onto your tongue, filling your mouth with his spend. After swallowing everything, you begin to lave your tongue across his softening cock, cleaning up anything you might have missed. 

“Thanks for the treat,” you nuzzle his pelvis, kissing the tip of his cock. 

[blkkizzat]

ꨄ︎『Cookin in the kitchen like a pot roast』ꨄ︎

☞ ꨄ︎『Masterlist』ꨄ

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Where my bad bitches? Fuck these niggas, give them trauma Coulda fixed his life but now that nigga need Iyanla

FYI write for a female identifying perspective with no racial descriptors so all can enjoy but a lot of my fics are inspired by hip hop lyrics or culture so very much black coded. If I decide to write black reader exclusively I will call it out in the summary/heading somewhere. My works are tagged: #♋︎kizzatcookedthat & #♋︎kizzatcooks Kinktober: # ☾﹒✖☠𝘬𝘪𝘻𝘻𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘣𝘦𝘳

CONTENT KEY ↴  fluff = ✿ | smut = ♡ | suggestive = ➹ | manga spoilers = ⌦ | AU = ☯︎ | canonverse = ∞ | drug/alcohol= ☻ | crack fic = ꩜ | black reader = 🐈‍⬛ | dark themes = ✟ STATUS KEY ↴  completed = ✔ | in-progress/continuation = ✎

ৎ੭ JJK MEN FAV ALT FUCK KINK - M.LIST - ♡∞ | ✎

ৎ੭ WE BE BURNIN': JJK 420 SERIES - M.LIST - ♡☯︎∞ ☻ ✿ | ✎

ৎ੭ NERD/VIRGIN SERIES - M.LIST COMING SOON

ৎ੭ OTAKU!GOJO: THE OTAKU IS MINE - M.LIST - ♡☯︎꩜| ✎

ৎ੭ THE NURSERY: YAKUZA!TOJI x MILF!READER - M.LIST - ♡☯︎∞ ☻ ✟ | ✎

ৎ੭ Daddy & Baby - ♡∞ | ✔ ❛You get the best of both worlds from a Choji [Choso x Toji x Reader] polyship❜

ৎ੭ FarmHand!Toji - ♡☯︎ | ✔ ❛Farm life ain't so bad when you got a sexy ex-con to use as a distraction❜

ৎ੭ Sins of the Father - ♡☯︎✟ | ✔ ❛You really need to repent for tormenting Father Kento like this.❜

ৎ੭ Sneaky Link: 1 & 2 - ♡∞☻ | ✔ ❛When Yuji goes to sleep, Sukuna comes out to play.❜ ৎ੭ A Bumpy Ride - ♡☯︎꩜ | ✔ ❛A long miserable ride on vaycay? Why not cockwarm your bf Suguru?❜ ৎ੭ Lessons in Anatomy ✎ P1: Nerd!Geto - ♡☯︎☻꩜ | ✔ ❛Your nerdy bff Suguru teaches you how to study and squirt.❜

ৎ੭ Toji x TumblrSmutWriter!Reader - ♡∞ | ✔ ❛Your new bf Toji finds out his cute n' innocent gf has a filthy imagination.❜ ৎ੭ Do You Eat Pussy? - ♡∞☻ | ✔ ❛Asking a sexy stranger a wild question gets you a wild answer. [Toji x Reader]❜

ৎ੭ WFH!Nanami - ✿ ♡☯︎ | ✔ ❛You wont let your WFH husband miss his most important meeting of the day.❜

ৎ੭ YakuzaBoss!Toji - ♡☯︎☻🐈‍⬛| ✔ ❛Uh-oh! You're about to find out what happens when you ignore Yakuza!Boss Toji. ❜

For one/shots fics of WE BE BURNIN' see 'series' section above ꜛ Plug!Choso 3 Parts - ♡☻☯︎| ✔ 420 True Form Sukuna - ♡☻∞꩜| ✔

For one/shots fics of JJK Men Fav Alt Fuck Kink see 'series' section above ꜛ Nuru Massage ft Choso - ♡∞ | ✔ Foot Jobs ft Geto - ♡∞ | ✔ For one shots/fics apart of Kinktober, see kizzatober m.list below ꜜ Ghostface!Choso - ♡☯︎☻✟ | ✎ (complete but epilogue/P3 coming) Werewolf!Toji - ♡☯︎☻✟ | ✔ Tricks or Treats: JJK Halloween Fluff Anthology - ✿➹∞꩜ | ✔

< 1k words

ৎ੭ "HoneyDick"!Gojo - ∞➹꩜ ❛Satoru gonna learn to stop playin' with you today.❜

ৎ੭ Kissing True Form Sukuna - ♡∞ | ✔ ❛How you gonna make this man jealous of is own hand like that.❜

ৎ੭  Intern!Reader - ♡☯︎ | ✔   ❛Being a legal intern for Nanami and Higaruma is tough business.❜

ৎ੭ "Chef"!Toji - ♡∞ | ✔ ❛Don't ask Toji to make you dinner unless you're ready to be his dinner.❜

ৎ੭ Ab Riding Sukuna - ♡∞ ⌦✟ | ✔ ❛Being the personal fuckdoll of a four-armed evil monster isn't so bad if it's for a good cause.❜

ৎ੭ Objectifying Sukuna - ➹∞꩜ | ✔  ❛Dayum, Daddy what them thighs do?❜

ৎ੭ Broke&Kinky!Toji - ♡∞ | ✎ ❛No money? No problem! Best 'O' of your life for under ¥500.❜

ৎ੭ Do My Dance - ♡∞ | ✔ ❛If you throw it back this good, Toji might even pay your rent.❜

ৎ੭ Smoking with Choso  -  ✿ ➹∞ | ✔  ❛Your sweet bf deserves all the cuddles and indica blunts.❜

ৎ੭ Oral Fixation w/ Toji - ♡∞ | ✔ ❛Gargling Toji's balls like listerine❜

ৎ੭ April Fools With Toji - ∞➹꩜ | ✔ ❛Toji can dish it but he can't take it.❜

ৎ੭ Toji is Ugly - ∞➹꩜ | ✔ ❛Girl okay? that's MY ugly ass man.❜

ৎ੭ Choso's Chinchin ♡∞ | ✔ ❛A guide to what it's like fucking Choso. ❜

ৎ੭ Why Toji Stays With You - ∞➹꩜ | ✔ ❛Toji has yet to figure out he can't play the player❜ ৎ੭ Pussy Talk - ∞➹꩜ | ✔ ❛Your kewchie is multilingual thanks to daddy Toji.❜ ৎ੭ JJK Men x Black!Reader Bonnet Headcanons - ✿☯︎➹🐈‍⬛ | ✔ ❛Daddies are showing us how much they love us and our bonnets.❜ ৎ੭ Cult Leader!Suguru - ∞➹🐈‍⬛ | ✔ ❛Suguru called the wrong b!tch a monkey, he finna learn today.❜

ৎ੭ Choso Coded - ➹∞ | ✔ ❛How down bad he is for you after a sip of kewchie.❜

ৎ੭ Toji Lies About Being Broke - ꩜∞| ✔ ❛Taking care of a grown ass man for so long pays off❜

ৎ੭ JJK Men Getting Through TSA ❛They should really just try to drive next time❜

For headcanons apart of Kinktober, see kizzatober m.list below Why you can't watch scary movies with JJK Men - ♡∞| ✔ Slutty JJK Men Halloween Costumes - ♡➹∞ | ✔

Kizzatober '23 presents ↴  ৎ੭ m.list: Thrilling Ghouls & Smooth Criminals #☾﹒✖☠𝘬𝘪𝘻𝘻𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘣𝘦𝘳

ৎ੭ The Nursery - (Yakuza!Toji x Reader) ♡☯︎☻ | ✎ WIP ❛Toji on his Joe Goldberg bullshit. Lactation kinks too.❜

© ʙʟᴋᴋɪᴢᴢᴀᴛ 2023 & 2024. ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛꜱ ʀᴇꜱᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ. ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ꜱᴛᴇᴀʟ, ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇ, ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴏʀ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇꜱ ꜰɪᴄꜱ, ᴅʀᴀʙʙʟᴇꜱ, & ɢʀᴀᴘʜɪᴄꜱ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʙʏ ᴍᴇ ᴜɴʟᴇꜱꜱ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀᴡɪꜱᴇ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴇᴅ. ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ.

[incorrectbatfam]

If you could create and add a new DC character, what would they be like?

I'm going to tell you about David, and knowing you guys, you'll agree with me when I say he should have his own comic.

David has been my best friend literally since we were 8. He is the only constant I've had through my life. He introduced me to the drums and helped me get a motorcycle after I got my license. We are each other's platonic ride or die. If he asked me to bury a body, I'd do it no question, and I know he'd do the same for me.

That said, I clearly have the braincell in this friendship.

Don't get me wrong, he's smart in certain aspects. He's a talented musician, good athlete, taught himself to fix most plumbing issues, speaks decent Japanese, easily clicks socially, and is super empathetic. But in others, he's like a plate in a knife drawer.

Some highlights from over the years:

He ate the brown paper bag his lunch came in on a field trip

He thought hot chocolate was just cocoa powder (no milk or water) in a mug and the microwave would melt it. His sister had to call the fire department

He gave a stray dog his scarf for warmth and never saw that scarf again

He licked the dust off an XBox controller

He got a speeding ticket outside the DMV literally five minutes after getting his license

He made gender reveal cupcakes to come out to the rest of our friend group when we were 17, but he threw them into a Ziploc and they jostled around his backpack for half a day before lunch

He thought closing a browser tab would get rid of a computer virus

He tried hotboxing his own car while driving

He almost seasoned his food with pepper spray before someone stopped him

He had a tire swing on a tree in his backyard. He decided to stand on it while swinging and smacked his forehead against a branch in front of him. It was literally the most hollow thwock ever, as if confirming his lack of braincells. He then proceeded to get pissed off and punch the tree. He said it was his most gender-affirming experience

He brought me along on a family road trip and used me as a footrest in the car

He frequently writes drum tabs the way he'd write guitar ones (in short the two are very different kinds of sheet music and I'd need three hands to play them). He absolutely knows better. I think he's messing with me at this point

He mistook wasabi powder for matcha

He once got drunk at a frat party, crawled out the lawn of the house, and began eating grass like a cow

I wanted to know what kissing a dude was like out of curiosity and this was before he started physically transitioning, so to make it a more "authentic" experience, he gargled Gatorade beforehand

He tried to make his first battle jacket with washable Crayola markers

He also tried to dye his hair with his sister's watercolors

He's worn the same sweatshirt since he was 14 and I think I can count on one hand how many times I've seen him wash it (I was over at his house a lot)

He's the motherfucker that wears running shorts in the snow

He thought his area code would automatically change when we moved to a new state

He once kicked a soccer ball into an oncoming train

BONUS: when he came out to his parents, they were accepting and while he was at school, his dad mounted a fish on David's bedroom door because men I guess

So yeah, if I worked at DC, I'd insert David in the background of every comic just being his chaotic himbo self. David is beyond space and time. There could be a battle on fucking Oa and David would just be there doing a kickflip. That's who I'd choose.

[osamucide]

where is the mean dom aku post youve been teasing me for weeks about this >:(

but fr i love the idea of him becoming more mean as he gets comfortable, not less. he likes his partner so much and hes so afraid that his presence in their life will hurt them. at first its just him fucking them a little too rough or tears coming from their eyes as they blow him, and it worries him for only a second before he can clearly see that they like it. and then its only a matter of time....

fuck I feel like I keep putting it off because I have SO much to say……so much to collect……but here are some thoughts before I go to bed >:3

it takes a lot of communication and reassurance that tears, marks, and sounds of pain from you are not equivalent to no. that you will tell him to stop if you want him to. establish safe words/motions/touches that will allow either of you out of anything at any time.

and as delicious as relinquishing control is, we also know there’s one thing Akutagawa holds close to himself, basks in, makes him also too feel ‘normal’—it’s the control itself. something that goes a long way here with both of you is the conception of control without fear. because of the safety systems you put in place, there’s no reason to be afraid of control the same way there’s no reason to be afraid of losing it.

and once he understands this, deeply and fully, he will get as mean as you want.

I’m talking brutal arch, his fingernails unforgiving in the fat of your ass cheek, one hand gripping your waist hard enough to bruise, and a platform boot on the side of your face pinning you cheek-down to the mattress—rhythmic groans leaving him as his balls smack lewdly against your sopping hole.

and when he gets vocal, he nearly fucking growls. his voice drops so low, so gravelly, mimicking near-possession—that’s just what you do to him, though.

“my filthy little fucktoy—such a good fuckin’ hole for me.”

“you love being my slut, huh? you love takin’ this cock? let me hear you say it.”

also, also—bondage with rashoumon.

binding your wrists behind your back during all of the above. stretching your ankles apart while he pistons his fingers into you relentlessly—frees up his other hand to press down on your stomach and make you squirt all over him so he can laugh in your face about how much of a messy whore you are. his messy whore. his lithe grip around your throat, again, bruising and unforgiving, while strips of fabric keep you spread in all directions so he can use the headboard of the bed as leverage to fuck you so hard you see stars. feel him in your throat. think you might die.

and you love it. and Akutagawa loves that you love it, and vice versa. he’s not the strongest, but he’s not as weak as he looks, either—he’ll bully his way against your cervix with your knees pressed tight to your shoulders for what feels like forever, his arms and thrusts unfailing despite his stature. be a brat and mouth off to him just so he can slap you into silence and gargled moans. lock your legs around him and call him daddy until he threatens to make you both parents. claw at him, bite him, do it all in the name of love and beg him to do it back; he’ll choke you out, spit in your mouth, expect you to return to the favor because he trusts you to, you trust him to—yeah, once he’s comfortable, he only gets rougher. <3

[despazito]

Antipsych ppl can gargle my balls maybe therapy words annoy you and they don't belong in every context but now I have accurate words to process my thoughts and feelings and I'm starting to make sense of my life

[whyrubuyingclothesatthesoupstore]

Watching last life and loving how much fun Scar is having making up rules for how his magic is supposed to work and making everyone do stupid things because "it won't work if you don't!" Oh you need a crystal? Here you go, but remember: you need to really believe in the magic for it to work and keep it in your hotbar AT ALL TIMES. Can you feel the power of this bravery crystal yet? Don't you just wanna roar as loud as you can? You need to enchant your gear as well? Here's the enchanting table, keep at least three blocks away from it and also throw compliments at it while you enchant to make it stronger. You have to. That's how my magic works. Do a headstand and gargle my ample balls, fool.

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls: 3x8 Let The Games Begin (Aka Let The ShitCircus Begin) (Send In The Clowns) (Send Help) (Part 1)

You can read my thoughts on all previous episodes in my Pinned Post. Ladies and Gentlemens, do you know what time it is? it is officially Literati Kickoff Time.

To get everyone up to speed, in the last episode, Rory recieved a Public Dumping for the Ages, Dean has stepped down as Rory's Primary Male Life Ruiner and handed that crown to Jess, Shane has been eviscerated into a bloody pulp, Lorelai and Luke both missed the showdown at the DM and so Lorelai learned about this tea off-screen sometime between the last episode and this one. It's yet unclear whether Lorelai learned what happened through second hand gossip or if Rory dusted off her Season 1 Balls of Steel and had the courage to inform her mother that Dean was out and Jess was in. Episode Opener: we see Rory and Lorelai walking through town shortly after the dance marathon, complaining about their sleep deprivation and achy feet. ("At least you bitches still have your feet," says Shane's dismembered ghost, looking down at her new webbed swan feet).

What is this shirt? It looks like an octopus ejaculated on this shirt.

Hey baby hey baby hey! J: Hi R:Hey J:Hi Lor: Hi (Who told you you could speak? Butt out, bish) Luke: Hi Jess: Hi R: I have to get to school. J: Me too. R:Bye J:Bye. Bye. Lorelai: Bye (bish, I swear...) R: Bye Luke: Bye Jess: Disappears

Only THE CUTEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED?! That was so cute, they should be immortalized into a pair of Precious Moments figurines. The little plaque on the figurine would be titled "Idiots In Love." So naturally, a certain Grinch in a lavendar blouse has a problem with this and it only further reassures her that Jess is nothing more than A Sex Criminal (who would never murder anyone).

Yay. Lorelai and I are both crying on the inside over this development, but for vastly different reasons. Anyway, look at her hanging her head! This bish is in mourning! Look at how depressed this bish is! Hahaha! Get SAD, BISH! I WILL LICK YOUR SALTY, SALTY TEARS! Ahem. I haven't seen such a somber delivery since the medical examiner delivered the news to Shane's parents that he had positively identifed her mutilated corpse.

Who will visit my home and sift through my panty drawer now? Luke: What happened? Lorelai, somber as a funeral director: Jess happened. Luke, uncharacteristically giddy with excitement: Wow! WOW! This is great! Wow! Rory and Jess! Jess and Rory! This is great! Don't you think this is great! Honestly Luke and Lorelai reflect both sides of my conflicting feelings about the Literati Shit-Circus. Lor: "I'll tell Dean you said that." I'm sure you will before the next time you gargle his dick. I think it's the next episode where Lorelai tells Dean, "Just because you and Rory broke up doesn't mean we did." #Sick

MOMMY FAIL! Rory is 18. She's a fucking adult so leave her alone. Anyway, what does that mean? I think it's code for "It's about time Rory dated a boy who knows how to remove a bra.' Luke: I know Jess is tough (LOL, yeah, he's a real toughie, just look at that last exchange) but he likes Rory and Rory's a good kid. Her good will rub off on him.

You are so full of baloney. You're a Baloney Superstore. You are the Walmart of Baloney. Oh, this episode contains multitudes. Lorelai is insufferable on not just one but two fronts. Heavens to betsy. This is the episode where she has a shit-fit over Richard taking Rory to interview at Yale. One of the most ridiculous Lorelai tantrums I can ever recall, at least in the earlier seasons. Maybe not as insane as "I'd rather my child and I be homeless than accept a loan from my mother to save my termite infested house" but it's up there in the top 5 for me.

I am so brave. Ar FND, Richard invites Rory to embark on said Road Trip to Yale, which shouldn't be a big deal for a child with any other mother besides Lorelai Gilmore, but this is Rory so she is shaking lke a flu stricken chihuaua at the thought of her mother finding out she would ever deign to visit a school endorsed by her grandparents. She reluctantly accepts, then quietly pees her pants.

God speed, girlypop.

Fun with Product Placement time: Rory went to fetch a soda from the kitchen, and my immediate thought was: "These rich bitches better have name brand Coca Cola in their fridge, and not that odd Hansen's soda that Rory is always drinking", and they do. A real honest to god prominently labeled Coke can. Girlypop here is feeling the heavy weight of possibly displeasing her mother in both her romantic and academic choices. She has a lot on her plate right now. While the car is parked in the Gilmore Grands driveway after FND, girly pop musters up the courage to tell Lorelai "Grandpa wants us to go on a road trip to Yale" which causes Lorelai to huff and immediately exit the car. She begins storming back into the house, intent on demanding that her father explain this unbelievably callous and cruel attempt to brainwash her daughter into considering another school besides Harvvard. Rory stops her at the porch. where a lengthy argument ensues. Rory has to (once again) dig in her heels to defend her position against Lorelai over something so STUPID. I am really sitting here watching Lorelai and Rory go back and forth forever just because (ADULT) Rory wants to visit a college campus at the invitation of her own grandfather. Lorelai even calls Richard a "master manipulator" for this evil plot. You know what Rory, stop asking Lorelai for her input. Since you don't have a car, just hop on a bus to New Haven and just fucking go. After comparing the city of New Haven to leftover sludge at the bottom of a coffee pot, Lorelai decides she's going to accompany Rory on the trip anyway, even though its been made quite clear she does not have to go (just like the Sherry Baby Shower). In both instances, Lorelai's presence will ruin everything. Per @frazzledsoul: "Lorelai is so spoiled here. Imagine being a parent of a teenager and your worst problem is what Ivy League school your kid goes to." Amen. The rest of this episode promises to be a complete shitshow of epic proportions. At least the next episode is "Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving", one of the best.

[bunny-j3st3r]

your sooooooo annoying you act like people are your friends but no offense but i would hate you as a friend i'd be hinting at you to kill yourself lollll

Nah you know what fuck you bitch ass cunt.

You're to pussy to even come off anon because you know your ass would get got.

You fucked me up for a day or so I'll give you that you tactless bitch, but you can gargle and choke on my balls because while you sit behind ur little grey face pussy ass coward anon I got people that love and care about me and acutally want to see me live and want to take my hand and help me.

I got people who love me, I got friends that make me laugh and I got friends that feel like I'm someone they can confide in because they can because I love them.

What's your ass got? Nothing bitch and ur to coward to come off anon to prove to me otherwise. You ain't got no bitches, no aspriations and I bet your ass has never created a piece of art in your life.

Choke on my balls you pathetic ass loser

[alyimoss]

im heading off to war guys wish me luck (going to watch videos despite my brain screaming that theyre "too cringe" bc 1. i deserve it 2. cringe culture is dead 3. this is my life i am in my room in my house i get to do what i want and shame can gargle my balls)

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Ask about Gotham (2014-2019): Was it worth it?

listen man I'm gonna be so real with you right now: I thought it would be really funny to write, like, a huge academic essay responding to this as a joke and then the punchline would be at the end I just say something like "in conclusion the producers of Gotham owe me money and can gargle my balls." and I do have a draft of that right now which, for the record, is 2600 words long and cites Susan Sontag's "Notes on Camp" pretty extensively as well as Glen Weldon's very neat book The Caped Crusade: Batman and the Rise of Nerd Culture. which IS funny, but I'm also not going to get around to finishing it for a while so here's a short answer

it's worth it for the sense of accomplishment, I guess, in the same way that you get to feel satisfied about being done with any grueling and unpleasant thing that's entirely self-inflicted. this is how marathon runners feel, probably, when they're gasping on the ground drenched in sweat with their lungs on fire and legs aching to be cut off.

but in the sense of whether or not Gotham was, like, worth it as a piece of art, I can't say it really was. as a prequel Gotham is grossly bloated and overlong; as a standalone story it's meandering and utterly lacking any original point of view to justify its existence as the 9000th Batman adaptation. things just happen in Gotham and all of it feels hollow because we the audience know how this is going to end; nothing good or bad will actually meaningfully change the status quo of Gotham City as we are seeing it because Gotham City needs to remain in stasis until Batman is old enough to legally buy a beer. it's just exhaustingly nihilistic, nothing matters because nothing is ALLOWED to matter yet and by the end that inherent meaninglessness makes the show an exhausting hollow shell of itself that sucks the life right out of you.

you can't even really call it camp because camp relies so much on sincerity, and by the latter seasons you can TELL the writers have given up and embraced being the silly goof goof weirdo show on purpose and are throwing everything they've got at it. riverdale before it was riverdale. genuinely I think the third episode of season one where the villain of the week is a man killing people by tying them to weather balloons and everyone takes it DEADLY SERIOUSLY is more high camp than anything that happens in the entire fifth season where all of the long-suffering actors are winking cheekily at the camera from beneath their party city wigs.

[ambassadorarlert]

idk why you think you’re the shit just bc you’re “married “to armin 🙄🙄🙄🙄 you’re not the only person who loves him hop off his balls and let other people enjoy him to!

thank you SO much for being honest. i sincerely apologize. i had no idea that my fictional marriage was making you so uncomfortable on the world wide web, caused you emotional distress and disrupted your every day waking life. in an effort to make peace, i will un-gargle my fictional husbands fictional colossal ballsack. then, i’ll use my handy-dandy shrinkinator to turn our fictional children back into sperm, and put them back in the for mentioned ballsack from whence they came. again, i apologize and moving forward i hope you can feel more comfortable in an online space curated for people to share art and talent. 🙄🖕🏻

[blkkizzat]

PLSS KALI i need a whiff of those balls right after a workout. sweaty , musky testicles to the bridge of my nose im not kidding. can you imagine what those pits smell like after the gym 🤤🤤🤤. my mouth is watering in real time. but the way i wanna play w his balls in my mouth like two marbles swishing around im FERAL for that fictional dick. when im ovulating all i can think ab is toji doing me dirty in prone bone OH MY GOD i need that massive man fucking me into the mattress. like i need his balls to tense up when im around. he needs to know im his BEST eater. need his libido saying SLOW DOWN BITCH. i need him abusing my gspot just once 🤓☝🏽 and ill be set for life 😩. thank u gege for creating my baby daddy, now creat a scene in the manga where he comes back and breaks my fucking back and bed. this is very incoherent but jesus seeing yall talk ab tojis gooch made me wanna rant.

can i be 🦷 anon? pretty please?

HIII 🦷 nonny welcome pookies!! dflhjkadskfj prone bone toji yasss with like a foot on the back your head keeping you down...dfjklhsfdkjs gege needs to deliver toji doujin porn istg.

also you got me writing... smellygym!toji thots... imagine toji gets home from the gym and you just immediately attack him. he always works out hard so he lets you pretty much do your thing and love him and all his stinky down.

you do just that as your drag him to the couch, already having a beer open ready for him the second you heard his car in the driveway. haphazardly, you toss him the remote so he can watch whatever game was on while you straddle him.

toji turns on the game and takes a sip of beer while you grind on his thick daddy sized thighs. needing more sticky wet contact, you peer off his sweat soaked shirt. toji grins at how eager you are scent yourself on him rubbing your body against his. uncaring how "gross", he was, in fact he was almost sure you preferred him better a lil sweaty.

spoiler alert—you do.

toji can feel how warm and moist your lil cunny is getting through his gym shorts. especially as you burrow your head into the musky fold under his shoulder. swirling patterns of slick sweat over his ribs and biceps as you grop him desperately while you gasp like you've never breathed air before while inside his pit.

toji can feel your hips pick up speed and your thighs clench around his muscular one.

"ya gonna cum already, mama?"

muffled affirmations fumble from your lips, he smelled extra potent today. the pheromones lacing his scent making you lose your own goddamn mind.

"did extra sets today just f'er my nasty lil slut, made sure to get nice and sweaty."

"f-fank yoou dafdy, fuk!" you cry out into his pit.

toji takes another swig of beer before placing it down on the table next to the sofa, his free hand now guiding your hips even faster on him. leaving a slime trail of your depravity lingering on his shorts.

wanting to taste him your tongue flattens to lap at the musty sweat, not caring that his this thick hairs scrape over your tongue. you gasp as the bitter taste of his musk stains your throat and you nearly choke from the loss of air as his heavy bicep presses you deeper into him. toji twitches, ticklish from your nasty lil tongue. the jerk of his body drives his thigh further up into you and smashing your sensitive clit and that's enough from your orgasm to rack threw your body as your muted moans resound from his pit.

you take a moment, dizzy as you heave, sliding your head out and onto his chest.

"ya still want more, my freaky lil' mama?"

you can only weakly nod as your body replenishes itself with the much needed untainted oxygen.

toji lifts you momentarily chuckling at your whines as he pushes his shorts down his hips just enough to bring out his dick and balls. "well you better get to it then mamas." toji smacks your ass. "these dirty balls ain't gonna gargle themselves."

.....lmfao nonny u got the toji demons coming out of me right now. cause wtf is thiskdshfsjkdhsdjhk 😭😭😭 consider this welcome present.

[strandnreyes]

thank you episode 7 for confirming that TK can ball

There’s a certain kind of serenity in Carlos’ bedroom. 

It’s not the typical college bedroom that TK has seen way too many of; it feels more mature. All his furniture is of the same design and his bed isn’t shoved into a corner. His curtains match the comforter and they block out the lights of the city, the room only bathed in the soft glow of the bedside lamp. 

TK’s in here alone for the moment. He can hear Carlos gargling mouthwash in the bathroom after he left to toss the comforter in the washing machine. Carlos threw on a pair of boxers when he left, meanwhile, TK just slipped under one of his blankets. 

TK doesn’t know if Carlos expected him to get up, but he doesn’t say anything when he comes back into the room. He simply slides under the blanket next to TK.

“You’re quiet tonight,” Carlos says, after a moment of comfortable silence. They’re both on their backs, but TK's knee is bent and Carlos is close enough that it brushes against his thigh. 

“Sorry,” he mumbles. He picked up on it himself, but he didn’t realize Carlos had too. His fingers curl around the edge of the blanket. “I can go.”

“TK, don’t be ridiculous,” Carlos says quickly, his words bathed in a soft tone. He rolls his head to the side. “I’m not kicking you out because you had a bad day.”

There’s a hidden invitation in there for TK to tell him what happened, but TK doesn’t know what he’d even say.

He flips onto his side to face Carlos instead. “Tell me about your day.” 

Carlos sighs, looking back at the ceiling. “Well, it didn’t go great, so if you’re looking for something to cheer you up it’s probably not this.”

TK shakes his head. “I wanna hear about it,” he insists. “If you want.”

Carlos grows silent and TK thinks that maybe he won’t share, but then Carlos quietly says, “It wasn’t bad, I just… My dad’s really excited about the season.”

TK frowns. “That’s a good thing, right?”

“It is,” he agrees. A beat passes and he confesses, “I don’t want to disappoint him.”

“Carlos…” TK says slowly, his heart hurting for the man beside him. TK wants to be let in, but he knows he has no right to what’s going on in Carlos’ mind.

Carlos swallows hard and TK watches the bob of his throat as he fights to get the words out. He shakes his head, almost to himself. “He has all these ideas for me and my future and I don’t–” He cuts himself off, trying again with, “I don’t know if I’m going to meet them.”

TK doesn’t know what propels someone like Carlos to hold that much doubt. It makes no sense to him, but then again, he knows that fears aren’t always rational. “Well, I don’t know him, but I’m pretty sure he’d love you regardless.”

TK can tell there’s more Carlos isn’t saying, but he doesn’t force it no matter how badly he wants to see those lines of tension in Carlos’ forehead erased. 

“Yeah,” Carlos says absentmindedly and then snaps out of his head. “What about you? Did you see your family?” Carlos asks and TK’s surprised to find himself wanting to talk about it. Or at least, he’s not resistant to the idea.

“My dad, yeah.”

“You said he lives here?”

“Mh hm,” he confirms, flipping onto his back again. Carlos moves in tandem with him, switching their positions from before as TK twists the blanket around his fingers. “I had dinner with him and… it was fine.” 

Carlos’ knee nudges him under the blanket. “That was convincing.”

TK sighs. “We fought.”

It’s been in the back of his mind for the better part of the night. Everything about Carlos distracted him from the argument for a little while, but as soon as he could think clearly, his thoughts went back there, to what his dad said. He feels a little bad about storming out like that, for his parting words. The longer TK sits with it, the more he’s forced to admit to himself that the reason he got so upset in the first place was because he wonders if his dad might be right. 

Basketball is his life. He clung to it like a lifeline his freshman year of college because his mom always told him how good he was, how proud she was of him. And during the depths of his grief over her passing, he didn’t have much else. Somewhere along the way, he forgot how to get the rest of it back. Even Carlos is tied to him through basketball. He doesn’t know what they’d be without it. He doesn’t know who he’d be without it.

“I don't know,” TK mutters. “He might’ve been right.”