#libraries are actual heaven ok
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arggghhhsstuff · 2 months ago
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big companies don't deserve you money and you need it more than them. pirate stuff. shoplift. download that pdf. get that game for free. put your spotify playlists on cds and listen to them on repeat. when they'll destroy everything we ever ever loved you'll be fine
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caterpillarinacave · 2 years ago
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why is being in public so hard
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morphids · 2 months ago
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false pretenses, hange zoë
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so im absolutely obsessed with this thank you for putting this idea in my head😰😵‍💫wish i could tag u anon </3
original request here [X]
pairing: college au - engineering student!hange x student!female reader - they/them pronouns for hange, afab anatomy for both
summary: the best way to get what you want is to do it yourself right?
warnings: listen this is real slutty ok, explicit sexual content 18+ minors dni - loser lesbian!hange (hange has that autistic nerd rizz), its always the quiet ones, r thinks she’s slick af, poc friendly- no physical descriptions of reader, kinda-bratty/switch!reader (r gets v subby) top-leaning!Hange (im a top i swear), strap, dirty talk, nicknames, munch activities, fingering, finger sucking, cunnilingus, praise, brief asphyxiation, i cant think of anymore
wc: 4.9k (not proofread)
an: excuse the shitty engineering attempts im not a stem girl!! hope y’all enjoy <3
You watched Hange from across the library, gazing over their features as they frowned. Brow creased as they solved equations that your professor had so kindly left everyone to complete after your seminar. Sometimes you’d catch their teeth nip at their bottom lip, in pensive thought.
Hange wasn't around many people, not that you saw anyway, usually kept to themselves or with the same two friends you'd seen them with. Their head often deep into a book or back hunching over a desk working some form of assignment, headphones placed over their hair.
Looking over their face, you studied Hange's strong jaw, the way their slender hand held up the weight of their head as the other scribbled down notes into their notebook. The sluttiest black tank top layered underneath an unbuttoned white dress shirt, draping over baggy brown straight-leg pants. Hair up with so many layers resting against their cheeks, framing their lovely face as multiple strands plumed out from within the hair tie. Their amber eyes lay under small, thin, glasses atop their nose. God, that nose. Perfect to sit on. Perfect to ride to holy heaven.
If it wasn’t clear, you'd had a bit of an eye on Hange for the last semester, they had transferred from a different university a while back. Upon seeing them for the first time, you wanted to speak to them. Their slightly introverted nature had made you keep your distance, though, but it was getting harder to fight the urge to go talk to them. I mean, how weird would that be? Hi, I know you don't know me but I've been obsessed with you since you transferred here? Yeah right.
No, you had to be more creative than that.
You needed a valid reason to speak to Hange so that you didn’t come across as the world’s biggest creep. Luckily for you, Hange was by far the smartest person on campus. Grades always incredibly well above average, scoring top marks in every assignment they’d submitted. So much so, that the professor had pretty much already taken them in under his wing. Due to their helpful nature and extensive knowledge in a fair range of fields, your professor was preparing Hange to be his TA after graduation. Oftentimes, passing Hange over to tutor students in his classes that lacked the grades that were expected of them at this stage in the course.
And even more luckily for you, you seemed to be really struggling with the new module. Or at least that’s what your alibi was. Who needed to know that your grades had actually been consistent passes? You were pretty strong at your theory, but you had only slightly slacked off in your classes during your professors teachings of mathematical methods and linear equations. It couldn’t hurt to get a bit of extra assistance to fill in the missing gaps.
Deciding to bite the bullet, you walked up to Hange, they barely noticed a presence beside, music blaring through the headphones, until your shoes came into their peripheral vision, spotting the black boots right beside the chair.
Their gaze followed up your bare legs, eyes slightly widened as they realised you were indeed about to induce a conversation with them and not just wandering past to get to an actual destination. They removed one cup of their headphones off their ear, holding it up with their fingers so they could listen to you. You noticed the multiple bands resting above their knuckles, bulky metallic rings varied with different patterns and weldings.
“Oh, um— hi?” Hange spoke, slightly confused, they had been deeply distracted into their equations, not anticipating someone coming to speak to them. Definitely not you, of all people.
“Hey, um— sorry to ruin your flow, but I was wondering if you could,” hesitance struck you, feeling your carefully planned script fall apart under Hange’s gaze, eyes still wide and nodding their head as a prompt for you to finish, removing the headphones fully to rest the band on the back of their neck. Why are they so hot, you thought, fumbling over yourself. “If you could tutor me with this module, you’re the smartest person in this place according to Mr. Fritz,” You joked, softening your words with a meek giggle. An attempt to make not make it seem like a big deal even though you could feel your heartbeat thump in your ears and throat.
“You can totally say no, of course,” you quickly added, after realising you didn’t actually offer them an out, not wanting to pressure Hange into having more on their plate than there already was.
Hange’s eyebrows pulled together, lips split as a wash of suspicious perplexity strained their features, only for a second before returning to normal. Back to their friendly warmth with an amiable smile stretched on their lips.
“Sure, I’d love to help,” Their eyes held yours, you to let out a faint breath of relief. “I’ve got a few things to do on campus for a while, but, I can meet you after?”
“That’d be great, thank you!” You offered to exchange phone numbers for ‘easier communication’ to plan around Hange’s schedule, before duly proposing that they come over to your dorm, as the library closed after five o’clock, and your roommates were gone for a week-long field trip.
“I’ll let you know when I’m on the way, then,” They smiled, an amused smirk etching itself on their lips before they could help it.
“That’s perfect, I appreciate it,” You beamed, “I’ll, um, leave you to your equations,” You stepped away, turning around to make your exit from the library. Hange didn’t miss the way your eyes fell onto their lips for just, perhaps, a little bit too long than was deemed socially conventional, or the way you seemed to grow flustered as they stimmed with their fingers. Hange’s gaze followed you as you walked on, trailing down to your exposed legs underneath a short skirt that hung over thick, sinuous thighs. Hange looked back down at their notebook, as they chuckled, shaking their head with endearment at your crafty deceit.
Hange certainly isn’t stupid, due to their proximity working with the professor, they were painfully aware of the more… problematic students in Mr. Fritz’ class. You were never one of them. In fact, he had even used some of your past assignments as example guidelines for the newer students. Needing help with the easiest part of the module? No way were they believing that.
A knock at your door, and you smoothened the fabric of your clothes, hoping to reduce any lingering creases or maybe even just to calm your nerves. You had tidied up, making your bedroom look more presentable and less like a cove of disordered chaos.
Opening the door, there stood Hange, handsome and ravishing in all their tall glory. A hand reached up to stabilise the one strap of their backpack that hung on their shoulder, the other strap dangling behind. You tried to stop, you really did, but you trailed over their figure, lured into their nonchalant stance that just exuded casual confidence as they looked back at you, an eyebrow cocked up.
Breaking contact, you welcomed them in, Hange dropped their backpack onto the floor to relieve the weight of all the heavy textbooks from their shoulders. Hand raising back up to remove the headphones from their neck, placing them atop their bag, hooked on the top handle.
You sat at your couch, leaving enough space for Hange to comfortably place themselves on. Trying to be discreet, you watched as they took off their dress shirt, hanging it on the arm of the couch, you presumed Hange was using the layer against the slightly cooler breeze outside— you couldn’t lie, you were kinda glad to see it off. Hange’s bicep was well sculpted against their black tank top as it melted into toned forearms. Tanned and strong. There was a brown cord bracelet dangling from their wrist as they rested it on their propped up knee. God, I’m no better than a man, you thought.
“So, what’d you need help with?” Hange pushed up their glasses with their ringed index finger, you wondered if that was something they often did subconsciously before beginning a task.
“Linear algebra and probability theory,”
“Hmm,” Hange nodded, a short tug at the corner of their lips, leaning their elbows on the top of their thighs, “Yeah, that stuff is pretty hard, but,”
“What did you score on the last exam?” Hange turned their head your way, amber eyes meeting yours, with a devious look.
You froze, shit. It felt like a trick question, surely Hange didn’t know the score you totalled? Surely, Hange didn’t know that you were just seven marks from a full score? It almost felt as if they were luring you into a trap; to see if you’d double down with the lie and continue with this facade or if you’d crack and admit defeat. Lose-lose either way, you’d end up embarrassed or having to make yourself look incredibly foolish.
Voice breaking in your throat, you held eye contact. Whereas Hange’s was steady and sharp, yours felt like you were just exposing yourself further the longer you remained silent.
“I-I don’t remember,” A neutral answer, you decided, totally not because you had been rendered nonverbal, clearing your throat and seeing the way Hange’s lips stretched fully into a knowing smirk.
“Hmm, you don’t remember,” They were definitely mocking you now, voice low, humming and melodic as you felt the thunder in your chest beat. You looked down at your thighs, fingers fiddling with a loose hem on your skirt.
“Getting the impression I wasn’t invited over for some homework,” They chuckled, leaning back against the support of the couch, arm stretching over the top.
One sentence and it was out in the open, the illusion you thought was so deceiving completely shattered as your true intentions came to light. Yup, embarrassing, just as you thought.
“So, why don’t you tell me the actual reason you invited me over,” If the last sentence was a stab to your confidence, this one was an extra twist in the wound. Hange was smirking at you, the mirthful look in their eyes showing you that they were relishing in your embarrassment and flustered face.
You swallowed a deep breath, feeling your skin ignite both with anticipation and nerves so lethal you almost wanted to bury yourself underneath the seat, never to be seen again.
“I, uh—“ you mumbled, the script had truly crumbled, you had no plan B apart from just spewing out the truth. You’d die before you had to do that.
“You seem a bit flustered,” Hange hummed, leaning on the back of the couch, as their thighs came to spread, “Why’s that, hm?”
The unlevelled confidence that radiated from them just seemed to further your own unease. It wasn’t often you felt that way, usually being the one to initiate flirtations with others. Yet, everything about Hange just seemed to drag you into a state of bashfulness, totally out of character as you failed to make eye contact.
“Will you look at me, love?”
You ceded, eyes meeting, as you let out a sigh. Hange placed a testing hand upon your bare knee, tentative runs of their thumb over the skin. Soft, Hange thought. The feeling eliciting shivers down your spine, warm waves down to your core, reducing you to a state of feeling unreasonably touch-starved. Hange gazed down your thighs, deliciously covered by the fabric of your skirt, moistening the edge of their upper lip with the tip of their tongue, before flickering their eyes back to you.
“What is it you really want?”
Fuck. A short gasp escaped your throat as their hand trailed up, fingers reaching underneath the hem of the short skirt. Hange was toying with you, no doubt about it.
“I… I wanted to speak to you,”
Humming, their hand moved further, “Why?”
“I found you…” you paused when their fingertips skimmed over your panties, your thighs twitched. “C-captivating, needed a reason to speak to you,”
Hange chuckled, as they leaned forward to reach the bottom of your ear, your breath hitching as their lips ghosted over the skin.
“You could’ve just asked, pretty,” Hange’s voice whispered against your ear, as you closed your eyes. You were so down bad.
“Think I haven’t noticed you, huh?” One light kiss at your skin, “Think I haven’t seen the way you stare at me?” Another kiss, ever so gentle that you almost melted into them, biting back a needy groan. Hange’s hand squeezed at your thigh, fingers towards your centre, just barely grazing over the fabric.
“I mean—god, darling, if you wanted me to fuck you that badly all you needed to do was ask nicely,” Hange’s teeth nipped at your lobe, drawing out the skin with it.
“So, ask me nicely,”
Another squeeze at your inner thigh, and no longer could you withhold the groan that you’d been holding back. You were fighting so many demons right now, hesitant to verbalise your inner desires. Hange remained near your ear, licking at the soft skin. Fuck it.
“I want you so fucking bad,” Your voice came out so much whinier than you expected, used to hearing that tone from others, but never from yourself.
“Aren’t you gonna say please?” They chuckled, dragging it out, teasing. Hange eyed the pout at your lips, the slight frown in your brows—could tell you were used to getting what you wanted easily, to not submitting. They planned to fix that.
“Fucks sake—please, Hange,” You pressed your thighs together, trapping Hange’s hand as they gripped you, as a prompt for them to do something, anything.
“Better.”
With their other hand, the one not currently trapped in between your legs, Hange grabbed at your hip. Kneading over your hip bone, where the dainty zip of your skirt dangled. The sensation caused your thighs to loosen autonomously, as Hange opportunely released their hand an inch. Slipping underneath the hem of your damp panties, fingers teasing at your slit, collecting your slick.
“You this messy just for me?” Their sinful, warm words made you shiver, goosebumps down your arms as they hit your ear. You wriggled, skirt rolled up to your hips, exposing your panties. Messy, indeed. You were growing impatient as you attempted to roll your hips into their hand, craving contact. Hange’s fingers recoiled, pushing from your slit pulling the fabric with as they tutted. Tightening their other hand on your hip once more, stilling your movements.
“C’mon, surely you’ve figured out how this works by now,” Hange’s words sounded so sweet, if it wasn’t for the absolute torture lurking underneath. Eager to tease and play with you for as long as it would take for you to actually listen and cede. With a brattish groan and a sigh, you nodded.
“Words, darling, use them.”
“Y-yes, shit—all for you, Hange.” Voice breathy, avidly impatient. Your core leaked more slick when it clenched, totally ruining your panties as it clung to your folds. The sight absolutely delectable. “I need you so bad—can’t take it,”
There it was. Finally.
“Was that so hard?” Hange hummed, a satisfied smirk creeping over their lips as they teased a finger down your slit, only slightly breaking through your entrance. Pressing your lips against theirs as you whimpered into the kiss, biting at Hange’s plump bottom lip.
“Now then, be a good girl and stay put.”
Hange pressed their finger fully into you, soon adding another two once they saw how keenly you were taking them already, walls wet and ready. Your head fell into Hange’s neck, meek moans spilling from your mouth as their slender fingers hit the back of your squishy walls.
Without removing themselves from your warm heat, Hange cased a hand at your ass, pulling you on top of their lap. Using their clothed thigh to rut their fingers up even further, other hand forcing your hips into gyration against them. The friction from their jeans hit against your sensitive clit and with their fingers inside you, you were a hot mess already. Needy and desperate from their heartless teasing.
“Ah—that’s…fucking good,” You hissed, as Hange lapped their tongue down your neck, before sucking, branding you with many dark marks leading down to your chest.
Catching the hem of your shirt, you threw your arms up to discard it, revealing your breasts to the room’s cool air, heaving up and down with heavy breaths. Hange almost moaned at the sight of you, shirtless with a short skirt pooled around your hips, draping over their knees. Of course you weren’t wearing a bra, they thought. As Hange thrust their fingers into you, their mouth wrapped over your nipples, flicking over them with their tongue. Nipping lightly over the peaks. You arched your back into them, feeling yourself grow closer, the tension in your abdomen building as you bit your lip.
Your hips lost their rhythm, aimlessly chasing the feeling of Hange’s fingers deep within you. Languid gasps and breathless moans escaping your lips. So, so close to your peak until the sensation was suddenly stripped away, leaving you totally empty. Hange removing their fingers, you could hear your own slick cry as they did, your walls tensing.
“Wha-“ You were a bit dazed, a truthfully a little annoyed, you had been so close.
“You’ve not earned it yet,” Hange laughed, clearly relishing in your frustration. They liked this, liked making you destitute, left wanting. Hange had every intention of fixing that sugared insolence they could see within you. Had every intention of tearing it inside out.
Hange reached down to their leather belt, maintaining eye contact as they unclasped the metal peg, lifting you up off their knees slightly to pull their jeans down, before removing their tank top. Their chest rose up and down, bound beneath a black binder. You could see their own centre soaking through their underwear. You ogled their figure, groaning as your sinful thoughts worsened. The kind of imagination that would surely commit you to purgatory indefinitely.
Hange pecked your charming pout away, before bringing their soaked fingers up in front of your mouth. Spreading your lips open with their thumb, shoving it inside so you could taste your own slick on it. Their other fingers followed suit.
“Clean up your mess,”
Hange watched you, your lips bruised and plump as they split to allow entrance for their index and middle finger. Sucking your juices off them as you moaned, gagging as they hit the back of your throat. Brows pinched and eyes brimmed with tears from the hot burn. Hange’s thumb pressed against your bottom teeth, pulling your jaw open, a line of drool slipping out from the corner of your open mouth. Hange would kill just about anyone for you, they thought. Irreversibly addicted to you, your needy eyes and the way you fell to follow their orders.
“So beautiful,”
Hange hung over you. Looking into your glassy eyes, with the hold against your jaw, pinky finger at your chin, they held your mouth open, spitting on your tongue.
“Swallow.”
You did. Quite happily as you groaned, muffled as your mouth was stuffed. Feeling yourself grind against Hange’s bare thigh, your core clenching around nothing as you yearned for the feeling of their fingers back inside you. Your inner thighs completely soaked, spreading it all over Hange’s bare legs.
“Such a good girl—so obedient for me,” They hummed, relieving their attack on your mouth, taking their fingers out and grasping the back of your neck, “Wonder if anyone else has ever slut you out like this, hm?”
You shut your eyes, leaning into their touch as you whined out a passive ‘No’, shaking your head to Hange’s question, not fully trusting the strength of your own voice. Fuck, you were totally gone, lost in salacity and paralysed by your own thirst. Almost brain-dead as your desire thumped in your ears, and throbbed at your core. About to explode from your own ardour as it’d eagerly been building up. Hange was divinely addictive, a substance you should never have risked trying. You could never possibly go back now, too ruined to ever possibly go to anyone else. Totally and utterly hooked on Hange.
“Aw, look how docile you are now, pretty.”
Hange kissed at your neck, coming back up to meet your lips again as you mewled against them.
“H-Hange— please, need more,” You squirmed against their lap, “Can’t take it, need to cum so badly,” You were finally begging, hesitation leaving you to fend for yourself as Hange had you right where they wanted.
“Yeah? How do you want it, baby?”
In between strained breaths, you pointed to your drawers. Strategically placed next to the couch, as Hange reached over. Chuckling once they saw your strap in its resting place.
“This what you want?”
Nodding, you rutted against Hange’s thigh, forcing some friction to rub against your clit.
“Please, fuck,” You sobbed, visions of Hange stuffing you with your strap forcing you to squeeze your thighs against Hange’s lap.
“Since you asked so nicely,”
Hange gently nudged you off their lap, to allow them to slide the harness over their thighs. You sat beside them, legs folded underneath yourself. Hand placed delicately on the side of their head, pressing sweet kisses down the skin of their neck as they adjusted the harness to fit around the circumference of their thighs. Hange shivered under your lips, eyes shutting as they indulged in the sensation for a moment, cursing as you began to lick under their lobe. You were delightful.
Hange’s hand danced along your thigh, fingers streaming past your slit as they groaned at how unbelievably wet you were.
“You’re fucking sublime,” They groaned, dragging you over their lap, hands ripping both the skirt and your ruined panties off your legs. Hange laid their back on the couch, folding your bare thighs over their jaw. You bit your lip in keen anticipation, it was almost as if you had manifested this.
“Fuck—Hange, I’ve dreamt about this for so fucking long,” Your legs twitched above Hange’s face, as a radiant smirk shone on their lips.
“Yeah? Thought about this?” Their hands clung around the plush skin of your ass, fingers squeezing tightly. They pulled you on to a steady stream along their face, teased a lick up your folds before your slit was pressed down against their flat tongue, lapping up your slick as their nose rubbed over your clit.
“F-fuck, so much—was just like this,” You gasped as you rode Hange’s face, watching dumbly as their face contorted with gluttonous solace. Eyebrows creasing as they focused on eating you out. You crumbled, finally feeling some release after being teased for what felt like many unbearable hours. Truly, it was better than you could have imagined, Hange’s fly-aways catching on their cheeks and the sides of their face as they grew dampened, your slick slapping their cheeks and fogging up their glasses from splatters and wet heat.
Resting your hand on their knees for stability, your fingers acted on their own as you came to reach underneath the strap that was dangled in the air, waiting to be used. Your fingers came to meet Hange’s folds, sliding easily past their sensitive labia, nearly as wet as your own, aching. Having been unbearably turned on since they saw your body’s visceral responses to them.
“That’s—so fucking hot, shit,” You whimpered, lost in the feeling of Hange’s insistent tongue slowly flicking deep against you and the way their centre seemed to just suck your fingers right in. Hange let out a muffled, guttural grunt into you, the vibrations making you clamp your thighs tight against their head. You almost felt apologetic, if it wasn’t for Hange, who seemed to get riled up by the very prospect of being choked out by your luscious thighs. Oxygen supply decreasing as amber eyes rolled into the back of their head, toned arms pulling you closer against them. Leaving behind marks on your skin that outlined where their fingers had been digging in.
Whilst simultaneously, you were plunging your fingers knuckles deep into their entrance. Your body leaning back as you bucked your wrist against them, fingers curling inwards against their walls. Hange’s eyes were stuck on you, watching as your body rocked against their mouth. Head hung back and breasts perked up as beads of sweat trickled down, illuminating your skin, the fine hairs around your stomach standing upright. Looking properly, they spotted a few moles scattered on your stomach, your lips were swollen as they bit out mutters of curses under your breath. Still trying to return the favour even despite feeling ruined. How divine.
The sight alone brought Hange to their knees, hazy pleasure erupting through them as they felt their body tremble. Truthfully, Hange seldom let people touch them, opting to typically give rather than receive, yet they felt like giving you permission to do whatever you wished with their body. They were so hypersensitive, extra responsive under your ambrosial touch. Debauched gasps melted into your core, still lapping at your slick as they rode through their own peak. Shuddering, as they seized their thighs against your wrist.
“Did you cu-“ Your excited, breathy voice was cut off by Hange grabbing your wrist, ripping your fingers out of themselves from overstimulation, their centre tensing with arousal dripping down their folds. Hange nodded as an affirmative, you could tell they were slightly stunned. Hange held your wrist against your back, elbow folding over as they lifted themselves up. Disconnecting your slit from their mouth, and moving you around as you returned to facing each other, your legs resting over their lap once more.
Hange’s spare hand caressed your jaw, uniting your lips together as they melded over yours. Sloppy, open-mouthed kisses, slipping their tongue into your mouth. You whined as they angled the tip of the strap over your folds, your slick lubricating the plastic. Hange was frenzied, desperately needing to see you stuffed with the silicone length. Elated from their own high, their words grew more depraved.
“Need to fuck this pussy,” They rasped, voice at the lowest frequency you’d heard from them, “Prettiest fucking pussy I’ve ever seen,”
Your lips parted as Hange slipped the tip inside, stretching your walls out as you gripped onto their shoulders. Hissing as you adjusted to Hange burying themselves into your tender flesh. Sinking yourself down on the strap as your hips undulated against them, pressure building up again within your abdomen as Hange fucked the strap deep into you. Tip massaging over your inner walls, repeatedly hitting that same spot that made your breath catch in your throat and your vision go white.
“Fuc—keep going, pleas—please,” Mewling, you shut your eyes, eyebrows furrowing as your nails came to scratch at Hange’s back. Your words coming out in broken sobs, tears spilling down your cheeks as you were split apart on your own strap.
“So full—Hange—“
Hange sucked against your neck, then licking over the sore spots.
“Taking me so well,” Hange praised, voice sweetly laden with saccharine honey, “Sat so pretty on my cock,”
“ngh—Shit-I-I’m gonna come,” You were shaking, thighs trembling and abdomen twitching. Finally about to release after being so cruelly edged twice. The expression on your way was picture-worthy, fucked out and wanton.
“That’s it,” Hange kept rutting up into you, muttering praises, “Come all over me, baby,” A nibble at your earlobe and you were done for. Your climax reached you, tensing up your spine, mouth agape as you shuddered, face contorted.
“You look so pretty when you come,”
Your core tightened as you spilled out your release; the force pushing the strap out from inside you, squirting all over Hange’s lap. The hardest you’ve ever come in your life.
Hange didn’t relent just yet, making sure to fuck you through your peak so you could ride every second of it. When you finally stilled, your head fell onto Hange’s neck, murmuring softly against their clavicle. Sighing, you lifted your head up, greeting Hange’s half-lidded eyes with your own. A beat and Hange reconnected your lips together, gently kissing you as you came down. Mind still fuzzy and reeling. Their hands caressed your hips, thumbs running down your skin.
“You’re beautiful,” Hange whispered, pressing a tender peck down against your swollen lips, “Wish you would’ve talked to me earlier,”
You laughed, breathy and uneven, as bashfulness struck again. Once the cloud of lust had settled, you were left with nerves, that doe look back in your eyes as you weren’t quite sure what to do now. What if Hange never wants to see you again? After all of this, you don’t think you could handle being emotionally ghosted. It was unlike you entirely, but the interest in Hange remained, simmering as you relished in their tight hold— a hold that almost promised you it wasn’t going to leave. You dared to dream.
“What are you thinking about?” Hange muttered, resting their forehead against yours, eyes closing.
“Um…” You hummed, hesitant, “This, I guess, I’m a little… nervous,”
“I guess I am, too,” They chuckled, pressing their head closer, hands still setting your skin aflame, “But, i-if you’d like to, I wanna take you out,” Pausing, “On a real date, that is, not under false tutoring pretences,”
You pulled your head back, trying to suppress the smile that threatened to stretch, an attempt at masking the hopeful beam in your eyes.
“I’d love that.”
listen u guys 😭 someone pls sedate me or give me a lobotomy cos what am i meant to do when i PINE over 2d characters
let me know if u guys enjoyed <3 i love to read ur comments and inputs
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alwaysanundertone · 3 months ago
Text
What could possibly go wrong?
Barty Crouch Jr x fem! reader
word count: 1k
part 1 , part 2
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You loved the library.
Being addicted to reading and learning, and also not having many friends, made that place your personal heaven.
So today, as any other day really, you were seated on an armchair in the very back of the library, a Dostoevskij novel on your knees. Being a Saturday night, it was so quiet, the only sounds being the rain hitting the windows.
However, your peace was interrupted by a certain Slytherin that seemed to be getting a tad too comfortable around you, in your opinion.
“Hey love, what are you reading? But most importantly, why are you reading on a Saturday night?”
You rolled your eyes.
“Crouch”
“Oh come on Y/N, you don’t have to pretend you hate me. I know you find me, in fact, really sexy”
You widened your eyes, a pink hue suddenly coloring your cheeks.
Even though you found Barty Crouch Jr unnerving, you couldn’t deny how hot he was, or how he, unfortunately for you, had a way with words.
You didn’t know why, but he always seemed to get you flustered. Maybe it was his confidence, or maybe his fluffy hair that you just wanted to touch, or maybe just the fact that he seemed to be the only one that actually wanted to get to know you.
“… I think you’re not listening to me. Got lost dreaming about me, baby? Why settling for daydreaming when you have the real thing in front of your eyes?”
Now you felt your ears starting to burn. “Yeah Crouch, keep believing that, I won’t stop you”
“Yes, I think I will keep believing that. If the colour of your cheeks is of any indication, I think that you must really like me”
You rolled your eyes, fighting the grin that was desperately trying to grow in your lips.
“Anyways, you must know that I’m hosting a party in the Slytherin dungeons, and I find it really rude of me to not be present”
“Then why are you here?”
“Because, being your knight in a shining armour, I’m here to rescue you from boredom! Come with me, be my guest at my party”
You widened your eyes. “You are really going insane if you think that I’ll be attending a Slytherin party”
“Why?” He gave you what you assumed was meant to be his take on puppy eyes, when really it looked like he was about to have one of his eyes pop out of their socket.
“Why? Well, for instance, look at what I’m wearing”
He looked at your joggers and your hoodie. “Well, princess, even though you’re still beautiful, I will come with you to your dorm, where you’ll be able to change, and then you’ll be coming to my party”
“Well, I don’t know anyone from your House?”
“Exactly! Perfect way to introduce my future girl to my friends!” You stared at him, mouth agape.
“But… But-“ You really had to get ahold of yourself. “But I’m socially awkward! And I’m having a really great time here with my book” He looked over at your 800+ pages novel, a brow quirked. “And I don’t smoke, nor I ever have drank any type of alcohol! I don’t even know how to dance! And parties aren’t really for-“
You stopped mid sentence, while you were giving him a piece of your mind he just took your hand in his and tugged it, now you were in his arms.
“Ok Y/N, listen to me. You don’t have to drink, you don’t have to smoke, you don’t even have to dance in order to have fun at a party; if you want to do those things and are a bit shy to do them alone, don’t worry, you can do those things with me. You won’t be alone, I will be sticking to your side for the whole night.” You tried to protest, but he put a finger on your lips. “I noticed you don’t have many friends in your House, which proves that Ravenclaw aren’t really as smart as they pretend to be.” You tried, again, to say something, but the shushed you out, again. “I know you have this whole “do not speak to me or I’ll bite” vibe going on, which is really sexy, but even Reg has us! So give us a chance, and you’ll might end up with a new group of friends!”
You stared at him blankly. What hurt the most is that he was right. You didn’t have many friends, and during the first year you were really sad about it, not knowing what you were doing wrong. So you built an armour, you pretended that you didn’t want any friends, because pretending hurt less than accepting the fact that you were, in fact, alone.
So now, having Barty read you out like that, and caring enough to try to convince you to come to a party, made your heart melt a little.
“Okay”
The smile that grew instantly on his face was something so beautiful, that you had to stop your own smile from forming.
“Okay! Fantastic, we have to hurry! The party already started!”
In a blink of an eye you were on his back, him speeding outside the library, and you trying your best not to make a sound, in order to not be caught by Gazza.
While he waited patiently outside the Ravenclaw common room, you were frantically putting together an outfit. You didn’t want to stand out to much, but you didn’t want to look underdressed. You opted for a pair of low rise jeans, a black corset and put your hair in a slick back; with lots of jewellery, you thought you looked okay.
When you finally joined Barty, he stared at you in awe.
“What? Not enough? Too much?”
He shushed you, again. You were getting kinda annoyed with all of this shushing.
“You look amazing, I swear you have to teach me how to put on eyeliner”
You rolled your eyes playfully, as you started to speed walk to the Slytherin dungeons.
New year new you, right? What could have possibly gone wrong?
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dandelionjack · 8 months ago
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torchwood is a little bit funny in the way it tries to be SO morbid and grim about death but all it really does to achieve that is to reiterate ‘there’s nothing there’ ‘it’s just darkness’ ok and?? that’s just the bog-standard atheist view of death? if there’s nothing then you’re not conscious and you’re not aware so what’s the fucking problem. an eternal afterlife is literally worse. there’s an scp about that. it’s the plot of the good place for fuck’s sake.
it’s also funny because the main show that it’s spun off from directly contradicts this later on with the existence of testimony in twice upon a time. yeah the actual ‘afterlife’ may not exist but if everybody who ever died is uploaded to a posthuman ai-heaven with the same memories and personality they had while alive, what’s the fucking difference? there are also like 3 separate digital afterlives apart from that one, say, the library archive where river ends up, missy’s nethersphere… lmao. oh no what are we ever going to do it’s so dark and cold and alone. shut up
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xcaptain-winterx · 11 months ago
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Apricity
dad!Lloyd Hansen x sunshine!reader
summary: Lloyd finds himself getting jealous once he realizes what he’s feeling
warnings: fluff, talk of NSFW 18+, Lloyd, possessiveness, rape, drugs, manipulation, obsessive behavior, denial, acceptance
a/n: English is not my first language, meaning you will probably find a lot of misspelling etc.. This is when they both were in Harvard, so way before having LJ. This is the first time we get to see a bit more of Sunshines side of the story
Main Masterlist Daddy Sociopath Masterlist
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The air is cold outside, freezing Lloyd’s breath as he walks across the campus. The ground is covered in thick snow, but luckily enough people already walked through it, so it’s pretty much already stamped away. Otherwise, Lloyd would have chosen another way.
Lloyd is making his way to his next class while side eyeing the other students who are already in the Christmas spirit. It’s the first of the December and they are already wearing Christmas sweaters and are talking about how they are so excited to see their families.
He hates the holidays. Blame it on his childhood, but singing song together, going to church and faking happiness when you get some shit from your parents that you didn’t want for Christmas isn’t a thing he likes.
He hates it even more because it’s during winter and he despises that season. Like right now, he’s freezing his ass off. He would like to wear a nice polo shirt, but he can’t. He’s ok with Autumn because it isn’t that cold there yet. Lloyd gets to wear a nice sweater and a thin jacket and that’s it. During winter, he would have to wear the thickest jacket possible, which would make him look like a fucking marshmallow.
He rather freeze than look like a fucking sugar bomb.
“Hey, Moonlight”
Lloyd turns his head to see that you are walking towards him with a smile on your face. You look like a ray of sunshine as you walk towards him. The sun is shining behind you, making you look like an angel send from heaven just for him. He swears his knees almost give in as you then smile at him.
“Hello, there Sunshine” he says, facing you with his fuckboy smile. Lloyd takes in your scent as you stand in front of. If he could describe what heaven probably smells like, he would say it’s you. He quickly breaks out of his trance, trying to act unfazed by your presence. “What brings you here?”.
There was a time where Lloyd was better at talking to girls.
Though he never had a crush on-
“Can’t I just say hi to my favorite law student?” you ask, giving him a teasing smile. Lloyd continues his walk with you walking next to him, while trying to hide his blush.
“Aww I’m your favorite” he teases back.
“Of course. After all, you spend time with me in the library”.
Lloyd thinks back to the day. He thinks a lot about that day actually, and how much he hates Carmichael for showing up at the library.
“No no no, I got forced to spend time with you. The weather decided to be a bitch” he explains.
“Oh, you poor boy” you laugh at his answer, making him chuckle too.
“I’m not a boy, Sunshine. I’m a man. My dick is the living proof of that” he states, pointing towards his crotch. He turns his head towards you as you interrupt in laughter, throwing your head back. Lloyd ignores everything around the both of you and just watches you being happy.
His Sunshine
“Well, for all I know, you could be lying” you respond with a teasing raised brow.
Lloyd bites his lip, thinking of what your reaction would be of seeing his dick. Of seeing him naked in all his glory. He imagines how he would show you. At another frat party? In the football locker room? In your bedroom? In his bedroom? The options are endless, but the thought of him naked in your or his bedroom does something to him. You would be his first to see his room. He never has a girl in his room because he doesn’t want some dirty ass whore liquids on his experience bedsheets. Lloyd has sex with them on his friend’s beds.
He would break this rule for you, though. He would make so many exceptions for you.
Lloyd imagines what you would think when you see him naked. Would you be impressed or perhaps even turned on?
You wouldn’t be disappointed in what you would see. Definitely not. Lloyd knows that he’s massive, so he shouldn’t worry what you would think.
He does, though.
What if you think he’s….small?
What if you’ve seen bigger and better?
Lloyd just keeps telling himself that this wouldn’t happen. All he knows, you could still be a virgin by the way you act and dress. Perhaps you are. Perhaps you never had a boyfriend or someone you trusted enough to take your virginity. Perhaps you need a strong man to take care of you.
Lloyd’s pants start tightening at the thought of being the one who takes your virginity. To be the one to slowly break your walls and lead you through the process of pain and pleasure until you are a mess under him, begging for more. The thought of being the first to touch you, feel you, bring you to your high is making him feel something he never felt before. He knows he’s good at what he does, so he knows he would give you the best experience, how no one else ever could.
The more Lloyd’s mind wanders around this, the more he thinks about you, specifically you, naked.
He imagines what your curves look like under your clothes. How your boobs must feel in his hand. How your stretch marks decorate your soft skin, like an expensive necklace. Where your skin is covered in beauty marks. How your pussy looks, but not in a bad way. He doesn’t mean that your pussy could look unpleasant, he just wants to know what beauty lays under your panties. Lloyd wants to know all the ways he needs to touch you to make you a crying mess.
He imagines how you must look like touching you yourself at night with your little fingers, trying to bring yourself to your release. How you desperately try to give yourself the pleasure no one else is giving you. The sounds you make while you are doing it. Are you quiet? Are you loud? Do you moan or let out soft gasps or murmurs? Do you sometimes hump your pillow or even ride it? What are the things that turn you on?
Lloyd has no clue what could turn you on. Perhaps older men who know what they are doing or guys with the same interest who share the same passion about the Vincent ven Google guy. Just the thought of you liking anyone else than him, makes Lloyd’s blood boil.
“I wanted to congratulate you for winning against Yale yesterday” you say, breaking the silence that’s been going on for a minute now without Lloyd noticing. You reach into your bag and pull out a small container covered in small paint splashes. “Here, for your hard work”.
Lloyd quickly hides his growing boner behind his coat before he takes the container and looks at it, confused. He raises a brow as he studies the container. “What’s that?” he asks, even though his first instinct was to tease you about watching him play.
“A container”.
“No shit, Sherlock. I see that it’s a container” he says, putting on his jerk facade again. “I mean why”.
“As I said, you are my favorite law student and the only one who plays football too and is good at it”.
Lloyd almost blushes, but just almost.
“How many law students are your friends?” he asks, slowly opening the lid.
“Just one” you answer and watch him as he opens it. He stares at the content in the container before looking at you.
“Brownies?” he expected something….different. “I thought in there were condoms. I’m low on them”.
You roll your eyes at him. “Remember what we had when we first met?”
“Sexual tension” Lloyd answers without thinking. As he realizes what he said, he quickly looks up at you from the brownies, scared that you realized what you said, but to his luck, you just continue.
“We had some special brownies, so because of your win, I made you some” you say excitingly.
You noticed what Lloyd said and you are trying your best not to blush at what he said. Since that night where you just wanted to have some peace alone outside and didn’t expect a typical frat boy to join you, you spend every second remembering this event. You remember smelling his expensive cologne and his soft sweater against your arm. You remember how your face heat up when he leaned over you and the butterflies you felt when you looked into those blue eyes of his. Oh, his eyes. The eyes that have been haunting you ever since. You never seen such beautiful eyes. During the years you’ve painted hundreds of blue eyes, but never one’s like his. Since meeting Lloyd, you did more than just that one sketch of him. There are so many of him in your book, created whenever his face filled your mind to the brim. Whenever you felt the butterflies take over and your face heat up again.
You could say you have a small crush on him.
Hell, you didn’t even care that he ruined your favorite self made pastel purple cardigan.
Lloyd smiles as he sees that there are a dozen brownies in that small container of yours. He closes the lid before giving you a small smile. Lloyd thinks about what he’s going to say. He could say ‘thank you’ and take the chance to kiss your cheek.
Should he make a move?
“Where did you get them, Sunshine” he asks instead. He would never admit it, but he got scared.
You try not to let your smile fall at that. He’s allowed to ask that, but deep down you wished he would have thanked you or said that he likes it. “I got the weed from TJ and then started baking”.
“You buy the stuff from the Junior drug guy?”
“Yes, he’s nice and often sells me the stuff for only have the price” you say happily with a smile on your face. You like TJ.
Lloyd’s heart beams as he feels the warmth of your happiness. His face doesn’t show that though, because all he can think of is Thomas liking you.
“You should be careful, Sunshine. Thomas sold some of my friends some stuff that got them to the hospital. Oh, and he took advantage of some girls in which he gave them stuff that made them completely dazed. Once in that condition he lead them somewhere where he then…you know” Lloyd says sympathetically, giving you a pained look.
Of course he’s lying, but he can’t let you go near TJ again if that guy actually likes you. Lloyd knows that TJ never sells stuff for only have the price and that can only mean one thing.
“What?”
“Yeah, I know, but don’t worry, my friends and I gave him a good beating for that” Lloyd assures you, lying like the devil. “Please, don’t go near him again. Please, Sunshine”.
“I…I think that…ok” you say after some seconds.
“Now you could’ve picked a nicer container, you know. This one is not clean” Lloyd interrupts your thoughts of TJ and holds up the container.
“You don’t like the paint stains on my container?”
“That you gave ME” Lloyd throws back, pulling the container to his chest. You chuckle at how pouty he suddenly got.
“Oh come here, you big baby” you say and don’t give Lloyd a chance to talk back again as you take the container away from him.
“Sneaky, Sunshine” Lloyd murmurs as you manage to get the container from the football player. He’s normally faster than anyone else.
Lloyd watches you as you get out some pens from god knows where and start to draw something on the container. He tries to see what you are drawing, but a quick ‘don’t look’ from you makes him look away.
“Ok, here you go” you say after two minutes and give him the container back. Lloyd takes it and smiles at you. He loves how you do things extra for him.
His gaze wanders down, and his eyes immediately widen as he sees what you did. You expanded the paint splatters and made a sun and moon. Not only the sun and moon but also the sky to each one. The upper half is decorated with dark blue and purple lines. In the corner you have the moon and around it small stars. The lower half has orange and yellow lines. The sun is colored in a different yellow, making it stand out from the yellow lines. It doesn’t take Lloyd a second to realize that the lines are a reference to ven Googles Art Style.
“Wow” that’s the only thing that Lloyd manages to say. Everything you gave and did for him is more than anyone has ever done. You are his first. Maybe not his first in means of sex, but you are his first in true kindness.
“Do you like it?” you ask hopefully.
Lloyd’s expression is softer than ever before as he looks into your beautiful eyes.
“I like it…thank you, Sunshine” he says and reaches for your hand. He waits for you to give in and reach for his hand to which you do. Your pinkies lock together, like how they did in the library.
You smile when you hear Lloyd likes it. As he looks at you, he realizes that the sun could never shine as bright as you do. You don’t need the sun to shine.
“I need to get going. My class will start soon and I can’t be late” you say, removing your pinkie from his cold finger. Both of you don’t want this moment to end, but sadly, it has to. “See you” you say before walking away towards your next class. Lloyd watches as you walk away, his eyes following every step you take.
Everything that happened so far, everything that he felt so far, made him realize one thing.
You are his
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coolheadofficial · 6 months ago
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Once you've learned to correctly pronounce every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world
Dearest creature in creation, Study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy. Tear in eye, your dress will tear. So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word, Sword and sward, retain and Britain. (Mind the latter, how it's written.) Now I surely will not plague you With such words as plaque and ague. But be careful how you speak: Say break and steak, but bleak and streak; Cloven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery, Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore, Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles, Exiles, similes, and reviles; Scholar, vicar, and cigar, Solar, mica, war and far; One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel; Gertrude, German, wind and mind, Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet, Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. Blood and flood are not like food, Nor is mould like should and would. Viscous, viscount, load and broad, Toward, to forward, to reward. And your pronunciation's OK When you correctly say croquet, Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour And enamour rhyme with hammer. River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb, Doll and roll and some and home. Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour. Souls but foul, haunt but aunt, Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant, Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger, And then singer, ginger, linger, Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge, Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very, Nor does fury sound like bury. Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth. Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath. Though the differences seem little, We say actual but victual. Refer does not rhyme with deafer. Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer. Mint, pint, senate and sedate; Dull, bull, and George ate late. Scenic, Arabic, Pacific, Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven. We say hallowed, but allowed, People, leopard, towed, but vowed. Mark the differences, moreover, Between mover, cover, clover; Leeches, breeches, wise, precise, Chalice, but police and lice; Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal, Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal. Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, Senator, spectator, mayor. Tour, but our and succour, four. Gas, alas, and Arkansas. Sea, idea, Korea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria. Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean. Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion and battalion. Sally with ally, yea, ye, Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key. Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver. Heron, granary, canary. Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface. Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass. Large, but target, gin, give, verging, Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging. Ear, but earn and wear and tear Do not rhyme with here but ere. Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen, Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk, Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation -- think of Psyche! Is a paling stout and spikey? Won't it make you lose your wits, Writing groats and saying grits? It's a dark abyss or tunnel: Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale, Islington and Isle of Wight, Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough -- Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough? Hiccough has the sound of cup. My advice is to give up!!!
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batbux · 11 months ago
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Batfam as music pulled from my library
Bruce Wayne
The Darker The Weather // The Better The Man by MISSIO "Sun shines through an open window, Close the curtains real slow to hide the light, But in time, maybe I can change it We'll find someone who feels the same as me."
Dick Grayson
HE by TAL "But I wanna believe in that notion I'm needed. I really just wanna be wanted. I don't want my work to be currency Used in gainin' your love. I just want you to- Please, clap for me, Laugh at my jokes, don't ever let go. Please, brag on me, with a smile, Tell me it's fine if I stay a while."
Barbara Gordon
Invincible by OK Go “When they finally come to destroy the earth, They'll have to deal with you first and now, My money says they won't know about, The thousand Fahrenheit hot metal lights behind your eyes.”
Jason Todd
Hell's Coming With Me by Poor Man's Poison "There was a drifter passing through that little valley, See he had promised he was coming back to town, They didn't know him by his face, or by the gun around his waist, But he come back to burn that town to the ground."
Cassandra Cain
GODDESS by PVRIS "So come back from the dead, Keep 'em guessin', Lazarus, Is she a wo— or a man? I'm a motherfucking brand."
Tim Drake
You're a Man Now, Boy by Raleigh Ritchie “I was a Small Soldier and I still am. Can't say what has changed apart from days and, I loved Jurassic Park, well, I still do. Actually, I'm the same except that now I take a pill or two.”
Stephanie Brown
Lady Jesus by UPSAHL “Welcome to my funeral, please take a seat. Right here lies the body of the bitch I used to be, She was crying every night, I sacrificed her in her sleep. If she didn't get to Heaven then I hope she rests in peace.”
Duke Thomas
Show Them Who It Made You by Kai Straw "Are you made to break, or made of stone? Will you live afraid of showing your glow? Will you step into the light, And kill the devils you hide? Oh, you can be free, my son, You've got a king inside."
Damian Wayne
It’s Alright by Mother Mother “It's alright, It's okay, it's alright, it's okay. You're not a demon, there's a reason, You behaved in that way. It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay. I believe, yes I believe that you'll see a better day.”
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theriverspath · 6 months ago
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Ineffable May 2024 Day 13: Heavenly Hosts
I'm playing catch-up for the last few prompts, so please accept this fever dream of a crossover as my day thirteen. Rated General Audience. Spoilers for the first episode of the anime Ouran High School Host Club, maybe?
Beez packed their bag and left the library’s quiet room. Unfortunately for their plan to study there after classes, it had become anything but quiet. The background buzz of other students chatting or giggling wasn’t entirely unpleasant. It just made it difficult to concentrate on their work. A familiar dull ache in their chest accompanied their thoughts as they closed the library door.
Hey, Mom. These angels are so different than what I’m used to. I’m managing ok, I guess, but I wish you could give me some advice on what to do about it.
Their sigh and their footsteps echoed down the endless corridor of huge windows and locked classrooms. Maybe one of the club rooms was empty? Beez stopped under a sign indicating that they’d found a music room. When they didn’t hear any instruments or singing, they gingerly pushed it open and peeked inside.
The door unexpectedly swung inward, pulling them in and causing them to stumble. They wobbled back, and the door closed behind them with a solid thud. As they caught their footing, white sparkling light filled their vision. A delicate rain of rose petals floated down from the ceiling. They barely had time to register the frivolous miracle before a chorus of voices rang out.
“Welcome to the Haven Host Club!”
Beez blinked, trying to clear their vision enough to see the group of angels gathered in front of them. A pair, as opposite in appearance as two beings could be, gasped in unison. Though the timbers of their voices were different, the shocked inflections were perfectly in sync when they spoke.
“A low ranking angel?”
“Uriel, Sandalphon, that’s no way to treat a guest. Especially an honor student.” Another member of the group admonished the duo. Their calculating expression was accented by their perfectly coiffed hair and the delicate lace cuffs below their uniform jacket’s sleeves.
“An honor student? Michael, are you saying that we have the privilege of entertaining the infamous Beelzebub?” An arm draped itself over Beez’s shoulders, its hand cupping their upper arm and guiding them into the room. The brightly lit expanse was dotted with little clusters of low tables, finely crafted chairs, and elegant settees. In the middle of it all rotated a large globe. The brilliant blues and greens practically glowed underneath swirling wisps of clouds. Beez had never seen such a lifelike representation of Earth. It was almost as if it had been plucked from the actual heavens and placed here to be admired. After a moment, they realized that the owner of the guiding arm had said their name.
“Wait. How do you know who I am?” Beez looked up into a pair of shining violet eyes. They crinkled at the corners with amusement. The tall angel smiling down at them had a solid, athletic build. Dark hair was cut short, and their school uniform was immaculately tailored.
“Are you kidding? Everyone’s heard of the scrappy little scrivener striving to climb their way up the ranks.” Their voice was smooth and charismatic. It wasn’t displeasing, but it approached condescension in a way that made Beez narrow their eyes in annoyance. Before they could reply, another voice, bubbly and full of sunshine, piped up from the group.
“Yeah! You must be a hero to the other low-rankers!” A being almost as short as Beez skipped forward and clasped their hands around the arm that wasn’t currently smooshed against the other angel. “Don’t you think so, Saraqael?” That last question was directed at a stoic angel seated in a floating chair. Their only acknowledgement of being addressed was to raise a single eyebrow. A feeling of acute claustrophobia swept over Beez. What in all of creation was going on here?
“Look, I’m no hero. I’m just a regular student looking for a quiet place to study.’ They tried shifting their shoulders and raising their arm, hoping that the two beings attached to them would get the hint to let go.
“Nonsense!” The taller angel actually hugged Beez closer in a too-familiar jostle. “Not only are you trying for the academic angle, but now you’ve gathered up the courage to attempt to engage the services of our elite host club! Of course, we usually restrict reservations to Thrones, Dominions, or above. But, I think we could make an exception in your case.” The jostle was escalated by the shorter angel on their arm jumping up and down with excitement.
“Brilliant! Come sit at my table with me! I have tea all set up and ready. I’ll even let you drink out of my favorite cup! It’s so pretty to look at. Oh! My name is Muriel, by the way…” The claustrophobia turned to a rising panic.
“No! No reservation! No tea! I just need to find a quiet and empty room!” Beez wrenched their corporation backwards, and the two angels released their holds in shock. The sudden lack of support sent Beez sprawling. Their fall was broken by something large and round. They swung around just in time to see the glowing globe tip off of whatever invisible pedestal held it upright. It hit the ground and shattered. A burst of glittery shards skidded across the floor in every direction, decorating the white tiles with pieces of continent and ocean. Beez stood frozen, unable to believe what had happened.
“Oh, you’ve done it now, low-ranker.” The shorter of the two mismatched twins spoke up. The taller finished their thought. “Indeed. That globe was created using an eight million Lazuri miracle.” Beez felt their knees go weak as they realized the implications of what they’d done.
“I … I’m going to have to pay you back.” Their voice cracked as they struggled to get the words out.
“How?” Uriel and Sandalphon chimed in stereo. “There’s no way you could perform that kind of miracle with your current rank.”
“Well.” Michael leaned down to pick up a particularly pretty piece of the broken Earth. They kept their eyes on it as they straightened back up. “What do you think we should do, Gabriel?” The violet-eyed angel flashed a self-satisfied grin at the question.
“There’s only one way this aspirant academic is going to climb that steep social ladder to reach their full potential, Michael, and that’s with the help of the Haven Host Club!” Gabriel turned their attention to Beez. “That means starting today, you work for us.” The edges of Beez’s vision started to close in, narrowing to a pin-point surrounded by fuzzy black. They lost track of the beings around them as they thought, I don’t know if I can handle this, Mom. I’ve been captured by a bunch of angels that are calling themselves a host club. They felt two little pokes of someone’s finger on their shoulder, then the room quickly tilting to the side as the floor came up to meet their fainting corporation.
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prompt list
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Hello ladies and gentlethems, guess who is back?
You know who should be a ship? Lily and Marlene. Like omgg they'll be THE couple. Ok not the IT couple cause in my mind that will always be marylily. But like the couple that no one saw coming but it makes so much sense and they're ruling the world now.
1) It starts off with Lily going to watch her practice (but nope she will never admit it she is just there to read mhmm)
2) OHH for the sake of dumb oblivious sapphics, (a lil love note to @her-midas-touch ) Lily thinks she is only going to the practice to watch James cause duhh all his flirting is finally starting to sink in or something but omg why is Marls flirting with me. Oh wait- she flirts with everyone. BUT WHY AM I GETTING AFFECTED BY THISS REMUS HEEELLPPPP
3) I think once her initial crisis is dealt with, Lily will start flirting back (which will in turn send Marlene into a crisis of her own cause omfg how to respond when someone that isn't Sirius flirts back sjndsjdkfnjd). I'm so dam sure that Lily will rope Mary and Remus into helping her get Marlene to admit she likes her too
4) Their dates would be so cliché but like thats the best part. Think riding in the same broom and watching the sunset in the clouds, sitting in the library and Marls watching as Lily gets excited and over focused interchangeably over books, ohh they would so go to Madame Puddifoots just to like beat the heternormalcy of it all.
5) Lily would absolutely lose it when Marlene wears a suit. But then, Lily wears one and Marls is dead. She is deceased. Slay in Peace gurl
6) Late night swims and wild flower bouquets and books with dog earred pages that open to silly doodles and kisses to joined hands and secretive smiles across the table and Lily wearing Marls's quidditch uniform and Marlene wearing Lily's hair tie in her wrist. That's them.
7) Their ship name would be something like... I actually have no idea what the hell my brain is empty halp
LILYLENE/FIRELILY!!!!!! they have my entire heart fr
1) absolutely. that girl would rather die than admit that she's there for marlene (or anyone for that matter. she has a reputation after all)
2) so real of her. dumb oblivious sapphics have my entire heart btw. she would be freaking out at first bc how could she let james get to her like that??? oh god, she's so much better than this (she is, but she doesn't know that yet). her running to remus is so real of her. moonflower supremacy
3) oh absolutely. marlene had the biggest gay panic ever over it
also, yes. lily gets everyone involved (with the exception of james who would tell marlene the second he gets drunk bc he would feel bad about keeping a secret from his "sister")
4) hejsbs9eh9b I NEED a fic of them just going on cute dates :(
5) lily thinks she's entered heaven or something (she has). marlene knows that she has
6) it so is. it absolutely is
7) I will stand by firelily 🤧
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ofliterarynature · 11 months ago
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NOVEMBER 2023 WRAP UP
[ loved liked ok no thanks (reread) DNF ]
The Moonstone • Chaos Terminal • (The Raven Boys) • The Ghosts of Trappist • (Fugitive Telemetry) • From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler • The Art of Destiny • The Bell in the Fog • (Exit Strategy) • Who Goes There? • Salt Magic Skin Magic • The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up • (Dracula) • (Rogue Protocol) • The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store • The Boneshaker • The Archive Undying • (The Scorpio Races) • Camilla
Total: 18 (audiobook: 15 / ebook: 3)
I started my month off by finishing my reread of The Scorpio Races on November 1, as is right and proper :) This has consistently been my favorite of Maggie's books, and it never feels right the years that I haven't reread it. I think I hit the right method this year and rather than binging it or following a structured reread (which would be cool, if you could match the timeline of the book) I listened to the audiobook on and off throughout Oct and finished it off in one last burst one the 1st. I think this is some of Maggie's best writing, but I also admit I am no longer able to judge this one objectively and will save you all the sales pitch for now :)
The Archive Undying was...confusing. It wasn't that I couldn't follow what was happening on the sentence level or in the immediate present, but try zooming out to the larger picture and I was lost. It was hazy, very much like a fever dream. I would not be opposed to trying some of the author's other work in the future, but I have no interest in revisiting this book/series, and wouldn't really recommend.
The Boneshaker has been sitting on my bookshelf for years ever since I picked it up at a library book sale, and it's managed to survive every shelf purge since. And I'm glad it did! It's a strange MG/YA book about a girl, her bicycle, a small western town just off a crossroads, a snakeoil salesman, his medicine show, and deals with the devil. It was fascinating! I've been almost tempted to send a copy to Sydnee McElroy just for fun. I will definitely be investigating the author's other series.
The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store - I got tempted into this one because the Book Riot Podcast couldn't stop singing it's praises, and then it started making some of the year end/best of lists and... it's ok I guess? I don't really get the hype, tbh, and I got close to DNFing because it just wasn't interesting. I was at least forewarned that the "murder mystery" in the marketing was overblown, but I am here to tell you to ignore its existence completely. There is no mystery, there isn't really even a murder, and it doesn't happen until the end of the book anyway. I fully admit this was just not a book for me, and anyone who wants to read it I wish you well.
Not much to say about my Murderbot reread, other than choosing to give the audiobooks a break and rereading in a text format was an excellent choice, I really feel like I've picked up on a lot of things I didn't before, and it gives me time to think about things (I have some questions about the actual irl existence of rogue secunits, tbh). This is my second full time trough the series, and I think Exit Strategy is maybe the weakest solo link in the original quartet, but that makes me very happy to have the newer books as well. And I have to say it, FUGITIVE TELEMETRY IS BETTER IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER.
Dracula Daily wrapped up this month, so I'm probably not the only one to have Dracula show up on their reading list. I listened to most of it via RE: Dracula, which I appreciated so much for helping keep me on track this year. I probably won't follow along next year, but big thanks to everyone for helping me learn to enjoy a book I hated both times I had to read it for school! I'll still be percolating that Greenwing & Dart AU somewhere in the back of my mind in the meantime.
I picked up the idea of "sparking joy" from the general internet and have found it hugely helpful in letting go of things in life, so I've been meaning to pick up The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up for a while, and was finally spurred into it when I picked up a copy at goodwill. I found some actionable advice in Kondo's method, but sooo much of the book felt like a sales pitch on how following this method could fix everything wrong in your life (and I mean *everything*). It left a very bad taste in my mouth - I think a workbook or checklist could be useful, but wouldn't recommend the book itself.
Salt Magic Skin Magic is a historical fantasy with magic, adventure, and a gay romance, which is so entirely in my wheelhouse. It hit all the same points I tend to find/enjoy in KJ Charles' work, and I had such a good time reading this - no surprise, apparently she helped edit this! Thanks to the HOTE discord group for reccing this one, I'll definitely be checking out some of the author's other work!
If you didn't know, Who Goes There? is the short story that the movie The Thing was based on - which I have not seen, but I went on a brief dive into antarctic exploration/horror in anticipation of this month's book club (All the White Spaces, which I actually read for last month but that meeting got delayed) and this popped up pretty quickly. It was available from the library and short, so why not?! The beginning felt a little rough, but I would have loved to see the tension of the main plot drawn out even longer. Liked this a lot better than the actual book club book, but I don't know that I'll watch any of the adaptations.
The Bell in the Fog - Lavender House sequel! I was so glad when this was announced; I love queer books, historical books, a mystery with a lead who actually does some detecting, and a character trying to find themselves and their community? Absolute catnip for me. It also doesn't pull its punches about the violence and injustices faced by the queer community, so it's definitely a bit darker than my usual tastes and will have to try hard to make it onto my favorites list. But if the author continues to write these I will absolutely pick them up.
The Art of Destiny - bless the library for not dragging their heels on the audiobook for this sequel, but lucky me, they did finally add the first book in time for me to get them both in the same year. Unlucky me, this does not appear to be the end of this series D: third book when??? Anyway, I won't deny that these books move a little slowly, but when they move, they move. If you want a big fantasy that's diverse, funny, cartoonish but epically violent, has a cast of all ages, and centers it's story on non-romantic relationships - this is so good, come join me in wailing for a book 3 announcement.
From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler has lived in the back of my mind for a while as a favorite childhood book of a booklr friend who is sadly no longer on tumblr, but who I say hi to occasionally on other sites - anyways, I found a copy at goodwill and took it as a sign. This one's for you, Lourdes! If I'd found this as a kid, I probably would have reread it a lot, that's how I was too lol. For now, it was a fine read, but I don't think it'll have a lasting hold. Any fans interested in more middle grade about fine art might check out the Chasing Vermeer series by Blue Balliett.
The Ghosts of Trappist - I think it's impossible for me to not enjoy myself reading this series (NeoG), but this one was a bit of a backslide from the improvements in book 2. On one hand - a very ambitious plot, probably the least soap-operaish of the bunch, and I loved the emotional arcs (and the possible ART/murderbot reference?). On the other - over a dozen pov characters is too too many. my god. I think a tighter focus could have done a world of good, but if this is also where the series wraps up I'd be totally satisfied. I'll definitely check out the author's other series.
I admit, rereading The Scorpio Races sparked something in me and now I'm determined to set off on a full Maggie Stiefvater read/reread, starting with The Raven Boys. I really loved this when it first came out, but my interested petered out as the series progressed and I started college, and I haven't touched the spinoff yet. My impression from the first book is still that Maggie's writing is so goddam beautiful. Her sentences make me want to weep, but for me there's so much focus on the line that I'm constantly losing track of the big picture. I'm still enjoying myself, but I feel like I'm coasting a lot on nostalgia and aesthetic between moments of a story - though is it me, or does she write a lot in scenes/vignettes, rather than a constant flowing story? I've found some success in centering myself by imagining the scenes as depicted by a CW supernatural teen show of my high school years and it's quite lovely, actually - I can't believe the TV show plans got dropped and never picked up again. We'll have to see how the rest of the series goes.
Genuinely, I can't believe that I read Station Eternity earlier this year and that the sequel, Chaos Terminal, is out already. Despite liking the author's first book (Six Wakes) and normally liking the tropes they're playing with here, I did not like the first book. No idea why I read the second one then (hope?), but it was better, definitely! I still didn't like it. No idea if I'll finally call it quits on this series or get lured into another one if it gets written.
The Moonstone was an unexpected surprise! I made it to November still 2 books short on my 6 classics challenge and panicked when the first one ended up dnf'd - what if this one was bad too??? But I really should know better, give me a half decent mystery and entertaining characters, and I'll be fine. And it was epistolary! I had a good time groaning over all of the characters foibles and quirks, even if I spent the whole time just going, Hey Guys? you could avoid all of this if you just let the nice Indian men have their diamond back. Good fun if you like a mystery and have some patience.
My only DNF this month was the previously mentioned classic - from the moment I decided on a classics challenge, I knew I wanted to try something by Frances Burney given how much I liked her novel Evelina. Unfortunately for me, the only one the library had on audiobook was Camilla... and it was 37 hours long. I gave it a shot, but only made it about 3 hours in. I really do applaud Burney for her ability to create characters who are intentionally/unintentionally causing harm even if they sometimes have the best of intentions. It's absurd, truly, but I'm not in a place I can take that right now - especially since the victims were children, and it happened *repeatedly*. I think if I was to try this one again I'd need to take it slowly in small parts.
Am I horribly wrong about anything? Do you have any classics you'd recommend for next year?
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astr0-philia · 8 months ago
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ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟙: 𝕎𝕖𝕝𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕋𝕠 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕍𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕒𝕚𝕟'𝕤 𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕝𝕕
Prolouge 1 2
[Y/N] POV:
My eyes finally opened as if they had been closed for a millenia.  'Why the hell is it so dark...???'  Yes, that was my first thought. It was pitch-black, just like the mirror. The darkness felt as if it was swallowing me up. It was terrifying. I don't like this at all.  'Where is this?'  A bead of sweat rolled down my face. 
How did I not notice where I was? This is scary. As I looked around, with trembling hands I touched everywhere as if to find solace in finding something familiar to hold onto.
Then as my hands moved below me I felt the cushion underneath. It was soft as if covered in silk and fluff. It reminded me of the chairs and cushions in my library where I would spend most of my time reading and passing time. Tears were welling up in my eyes. Suddenly I slammed myself back into reality by slapping my cheeks 'Ok ! '  The slap started to sting. I seriously cannot be;ieve any of this is real though.  'I need to get out of here, this place is Uncomfortable...'  With annoyance I looked around as if I hadn't already. ' Dang this space really cramp'  As I started to nudge the top, but It wouldn't even budge at all. 
Panic was the first thought that came to my mind and panic is what I did.
I started to pound at the lid with panic.  'I don't want to be stuck here forever!'   I start to pound at the lid. I can't believe I am so naive! What if some kidnapped me! I can' t be stuck here forever! Then in my moment of panic I heard a voice.....
"Darn it, people are coming soon! Grr....Better get the uniform fast...." mumbled a high-pitched voice.
'Who the hell was that? The person's voice sounded high-pitched like they had inhaled helium?'
The person as if on cue walked towards my box at a rapid pace, making me stunned. I froze in place. Was this really it? Was I the future empress of Andromeda really going to die?
*Starts to recite the holy bible of Andromeda*
"Oooo.... I don't think I want this one. This coffin looks shabby as hell. Hey, that one looks cool! I want that one!"
As if the heavens heard my plea the helium voiced individual scurried off to the coffin in a terrifyingly quick pace.  'Wait....COFFIN????'  I was in a freaking coffin? Who in the right mind would put a person in a coffin.....
'Damn did the soldiers really think I dropped dead or something?'
"Ugh- why is this lid so heavy? Guess I'll have to use my last resort...."
Then it felt hot. So hot that the coffin I was in was starting to become humid and even more uncofortable. I do not like this at all. 'It feels as if i am getting burned alive....don't tell me....AM I ACTUALLY GETTING BURNED ALIVE??? ' 
Then all of sudden I heard a new voice.
"You, why are you awake already?!" said the high pitched voice.
Then the new voice, as if had just woken up from deep sleep, replied with "A t-talking raccoon?!"
'Ok, excuse me, a talking racoon? Is the guy out of his mind or something?'
The voice sounded like a male. Maybe this guy could help me get out! And maybe he can help me find out how to get out of this place. So then I screamed.
"Hey whoever is out there help me! Get me out of here! Please!" I begged in plea.
I could not handle being in this cramped and humid coffin anymore. It was getting very uncomfortable.
As if hearing my plea. I heard the person scurry over in a fast pace towards my coffin and start to pull. I got the gist of the plan and started pushing as well. This is such a mess.
I don’t like this situation at all! I just wanna go back to my palace and see my family again!
"I-it’s opening! Just push a bit more" said the stranger.
"I'm trying! I’m trying!!! It's just so hard to budge!" I felt my energy getting drained from me.
With the last of my strength I kicked the lid of the coffin as hard as I could. 
Then boom 💥
The lid flew off the coffin and almost hit the head of the stranger. The next I knew I was falling from the coffin at high speeds. Just as I was about to hit the floor, I closed my eyes waiting for impact.
Then I collided with something.
“Oof-"
’Huh? That didn’t hurt…..’
I opened my eyes slowly….. I was on top of the stranger. 
I.Was.On.Top.Of.The.Stranger.
Why is my luck so bad?
I looked at the man’s face in a hurry to see who caught me.
…..was this the man who just saved me?
Well damn... he looks kinda cute. Also why was his chest so soft? 
‘Dude has man-boobs fr’
Well was very nice to look at as well. His face has a sharp jawline and hints of baby fat but it was still very cute. He had black eyes and black hair too. To sum it up he was handsome.
As I was laying there the man caught me staring and asked “Are you okay?” In slight concern.
It was then when he said that the situation had dawned on me. I was still on the man.
I got up as quickly as possible,
"I am very sorry! I just w-wanted to get out and-" Why did I stutter! Now he'll think I am weird......
"It's okay." Even his voice sounded a bit hoarse. It was probably because I fell on him. I feel kinda bad…...
"What's your name?" I asked trying to start a conversation to diminish the awkward atmosphere.
"My name is Enma Yuuken and I am a first year in college. What’s your name?" He asked in curiosity.
Knowing me I was prepared to answer this question.
"I am the royal princess of the planet Andromeda. My name is [Y/N] Alastair, it is a pleasure to meet you." Heh. His jaw slacked in suprise and looked at me with wide eyes.
Did I say too much? He looks a bit out of himself right now.
"W-wait a princess-" Was that too much for him?
'Hmmm….. Nahhhh’
"Hey what the hell are you two doing? Did you forget about the great Grim?!" exclaimed the high-pitched voice. What's with people cutting each off today?
I turned my head around trying to find the human with the high-pitched voice, but instead saw a raccoon. My face contorted into one of confusion and surprise. Was the guy Enma Yuuken really telling the truth?
’Well damn, guess I was wrong.’
"You better give me your robes if you don't want to face the wrath of the great grim! There's no time to chit-chat!"
"Why would we give you our robes?" I replied back wanting to receive an answer but instead was faced with a huge blue flame thrown at me. Just as it was about to hit me, Yuuken jumped in front of me and pulled us both out of the way.
"Give you robes now-"
In the rush of the moment we both ran together to the safety of the hallways trying to get the raccoon off our trail. Then we reached a library. It was teeming with towers and towers of stacked books. Looked even bigger than the library we had in our palace. It looked amazing. 
As we entered I heard Yuuken mumble something, "If this is a dream please let me wake up." he whispered. 
'Me too, my man. Seriously how did we end up here anyways?' 
Getting bored I turned from Yuuken and looked around. As I looked around our surroundings, I couldn't believe what I saw.
Floating bookshelves. How in the world were they able to accomplish that. 
"Did you think you could run away from me!? You lowly humans!" A voice suddenly interrupted my thoughts.
I turned around only to see the fire-breathing cat. "OH MY GOD?! How did you appear here so fast?" I screamed in terror.
"Now, if you don't want to be roasted whole, give me those clothesーFugya!?" A flash of black appeared in my vision. I couldn't identify what it was but it sounded like it hurt a lot.
"It hurts! What's this string!?" In pain as something wrapped around him with a vice grip.
Looking closely at the object wrapping him my jaw dropped. Was that a whip?
Me and Yuuken stared in disbelief as a guy with a bird mask came up to us with a whip in hand.  It looked too kinky and weird for its own good. Grim was tied up in the whip and was grunting in what sounded as grunts of pain and displeasure. The sight was very unpleasant to watch.
"It's not a string. It's the whip of love! Aah, I finally found you." Turning to us he exclaimed. "You're this year's new student, right? You should not be wandering around like this! Also to have a familiar! It's against the rules in this school, I'm afraid." he warned us, putting his hands on his hips. First of all okay????
Second of all....school? I didn't sign for any school? I already have royal tutore back home in Andromeda.
Third of all. A familiar? Since when did was grim a familiar? He's probably talking about Grim being Yuuken's familiar-
As I turned around to look at him in a questioning gaze, I looked at him in disbelief as even he looked confused. Was it not his either? He then also looked at Grim and spoke,
"Sir, that thing is not my familiar."
"Yeah and it's not mine either." I said gathering up all my courage.
"Yeah! Let me go- I'm not this guy's familiar!" Grim shouted in annoyance. That whip looked quite uncomfortable in his defense. 
"Oh what a rebellious familiar you have, well then let's head to the mirror chamber not quickly." said the bird man, ignoring our statement. Was he serious? Why was this adult man ignoring our statements?
I  in disbelief took a closer look at the bird man. His eyes were hidden behind his mask and his yellow eyes shone amidst the darkness they held. They were like amethysts shining in the light. He had a large jacket on his shoulders which had irregular feathers sticking out of them, quite fashionable I would say. He wore a hat atop his head. His ears were pointed as if he was those of an elf from my homeland. His hair was also quite wavy and messy too.
"Where is this?" asked Yuu in a apprehensive voice.
The bird man sweat-dropped and coughed at the question, as he answered. "This is Night Raven also known as NRC. Its a place where magicians with exceptional talents gather, Twisted Wonderland's most prestigious magician training academy." in a monotone voice he spoke. "I am the acting director and headmage of this college, my name is Dire Crowley." So that's his name. Also Why is this unresponsible man the headmage of this school?
"The chosen ones are called into this academy through the door, from all over the world. In your place, too, surely a black carriage carrying a door came to pick you up." Wait what....wasn't the thing that brought me here a black mirror?
"Wait so you're saying I was forcefully brought here by a carriage against my own will!?" shouted Yuuken with shock.
"Yes, yes. Happens to everyone who enters this school" Crowley sweat dropped as he calmly responded.
"I was brought in here by a mirror though?" In unsureness and contemplation.
"A Mirror? How...hmm.... interesting.... Well then let's head to your orientation now!" Okay bro let that go too fast.
I couldn't help but give him a side-eye. He is really too ignorant for his own good.
As I looked at Yuuken in acknowledgement as if asking him if I could follow him, he nodded. So then I quickly grabbed his hand and headed to where Crowley was. Grim was grunting and wiggling  as if trying to get out of the vice-like grasp of the whip. Then Crowley...Crowley was just whistling and enjoying his day. While me and Yuuken were behind him trying not to give up on life. 
This is not a great day.
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Author note:  I hope you guys like this chapter ;) Wait till you see what I got planned for the next chapter!
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thewatercolours · 2 months ago
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Muahaha peer pressure
3, 5, 6, 18, 21
3. All-time favourite pairing?
"What do you think of this? ‘Two young adventurers for hire. Willing to do anything, go anywhere. Pay must be good. No reasonable offer refused.’"
“I should think any offer we get in answer to that would be a pretty unreasonable one!”
“Tommy! You’re a genius! That’s ever so much more chic. ‘No unreasonable offer refused—if pay is good.’ "
- The Secret Adversary by Agatha Christie
Oh, let me see. There are a few I could name, but my heart is whispering, "Say Tommy and Tuppence." I have adored these two since I first ran into them. These two old friends run into each randomly after being demobbed from the First World War, both barely keeping their heads above water to pay the bills. And then suddenly, an extremely important government guy is offering them money to take on fake identities and retrieve these papers that could be dangerous if they fell into the wrong hands, and - over the top zany humour!! Thrilling action!! And... could it be love?
One thing I love about Tommy and Tuppence is that 1) the series follows them through their whole lives (aging in real time with Agatha Christie,) from bright young things caught up in a thriller, to newly married couple starting a detective agency with guaranteed 24 hour results even though they have no idea how the business works, to empty-nesters fighting Nazis during the Blitz and pretending to be unmarried just so their fake identities can fall in love all over again, to... well, actually I never read the books where they're old because someone told me they had some disturbing themes, and I was afraid to ruin Tommy and Tuppence. But I might just have to try them now and make up my own mind.
5. Favourite platonic pairing?
How am I supposed to answer that? But just to stick my hand in the hat and pull out a few among what must be at least hundreds: Frodo and Sam. Mosca Mye and Eponymous Clent. Figaro and the Count. Napoleon and the Strange Lady (ok, Napoleon's real, but he counts as fictional in this case.) Blanche and Rose Brier.
6. Favorite headcanon?
Another one that will have me stumped! You're mean. You bullied an overthinker into answering questions like these! I will no longer associate with you. Begone from my life.
But if I must... um... Not favourites, just randoms:
In "Ruddigore," all who inherit the title of baronet also inherit the witch's curse that they must do a crime a day or perish in inexpressible agonies. My headcanon is that besides the loophole they find in the show, you could also loophole the curse by painting a crosswalk at the end of your driveway, and never using it. Always jaywalking further up the driveway. Every day. Boom.
Adolin Kholin from The Stormlight Archive does not have the capacity to become a radiant. Even if he went through terrible trauma and it opened up the necessary cracks in his spirit web or whatever, he would not become a radiant. (Dagnabbit, somebody has to just be normal and still awesome. If Adolin becomes a radiant in final book that's dropping this December, I will personally drive down to Utah and ruin Sanderson's Christmas.)
Sydney Carton from A Tale of Two Cities never actually became friends with Charles Darnay. All those years he came to their house, he faked it. For Darnay's sake, for Lucy's. But he ALWAYS rubbed him the wrong way, even as he wished he were like him. (and he still disliked him when he laid down his life for him...)
There is actually doing to be some equivalent of the Library of Amarganth from The Neverending Story in heaven. All the stories we loved and started or dreamed about but just couldn't create/finish - told in their completeness and best form and lovingly bound and collected. Yes.
18. All-time favorite fanfic?
I don't know. I really don't. My brain's overheating. :-)
21. Favorite fic trope?
This isn't a trope, but - when the dialogue perfectly evokes the character's canon way of speaking? The best. The best.
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halucynator · 1 year ago
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@catastrxblues I will kms I'm so sorry I lost the ask somehow so I'm just gonna work off memory bc I'm an idiot 😭
If I miss anything please tell me!!!! I'm once again really sorry and will defenestrate myself once I'm done with this! (How tf did I lose AN ASKKK??? ITS NOT EVEN A PHYSICAL THING!?) I made this into a review bc yes
It contains like spoilers ig? It's actually not even spoilers I don't think I'd call it one because it doesn't ruin the show for anyone at all just unnecessary info provided ahead
OK HERE WE GO
Lockwood and Co: Worth watching?
Ok so, Lockwood and Co. I'm so glad you're liking it so far!! It's honestly such a good series you need to finish it ! However, if you want more context/info (because let's be fair books have more information than shows because obvi it contains thoughts of the characters that can't be said aloud in the shows) i definitely recommend reading through the books first!!! The books are from Lucy's perspective as far as I can remember and the sarcasm not only of her but every single other character is SO IMMENSE. Like all of them are so sarcastic at the most unexpected time it's actually hilarious. It's like they are meant for each other and became besties the moment they met like it's SO CUTE. it's banter and if you don't know me I'm an absolute banter girly LMAO
it's (in my absolutely correct opinion jkjk) one of THE best book series. I'm very picky when it comes to books (especially series where you have to spend quite a bit of money) but lemme tell you, this book was an absolute 1000000000000000000/10 for me. The way the book is presented, the characters are presented isn't a drag which is my problem with most books. it's a thriller right at the start. It provides relevant information, never digressing (unlike me LMAO) and never steering off-topic. Stroud knows how to capture it's readers and once you've made past the starting bit of the first book (the only bit that seems like a drag to me and it isn't really it's introducing characters so ykyk) you will absolute enjoy it if you love thriller books. Needless to say, it's one of my absolute favourite series for that exact reason. Thriller books to me are the equivalent to heaven because of how there's always something happening. There is a mystery and it's solved. You just need to be patient enough to reach the end of the books and WOOHOO! you've just finished a thriller book! and you loved it (ofc bc why wouldn't you)
The thing with me is that i hate anything that isn't a sick twisted mystery with a bajillion plot twists, supernatural things and contains people that yield weapons.
Favourite Lockwood and Co book?
Yes there are 5 books in the series! I got gifted the first two Lockwood and Co books buy a friend and lemme tell you I thought I wouldn't like them at all. Boy was I wrong. I feel like it takes ages to find some book that you actually like. Finding a book/movie genre is similar to finding a music taste! It's all subjective. All opinion based (well apart from the fact that Lockwood and Co is the best book series to ever exist. That's completely objective). If you like supernatural stuff, books that keep you on the edge of your seat etc then Lockwood and Co is very much recommended.
My favourite book is either 4 or 5. 4 is the creeping shadow and if I remember correctly it contains info about Lockwood's past. It gives insight on him and his character and everything else so I love it! If you're wanting to read book 4 however, I definitely recommend reading the earlier books first because they are in order and it's just better that way ykyk. 5 is the empty grave (I read that book by borrowing it from the library LMAO). I love it because well first of all it's the last book in the series: kinda bittersweet but ykyk. And secondly, because it's such an immersive book. I mean that the case with every single book in the series but 5 specially.
You didn't ask this but my favourite character is definitely the skull! I love his absolutely sarcastic nature he's just absolutely hilarious. And he helps but in such an indirect way it's hard to tell! And he's sarcastic all the time to the point that you can't tell when he isn't!!!
Locklyle Romance
You are absolutely right in that the romance is a major part of the series unlike the books. The book contains quite a bit of tension but sometimes that tension can be felt better when you're watching then when you're reading. Also, lockwood and co is about supernatural ghost hunting saving the world sorta thing. So, while the books explore some romantic themes, it isn't solely about romance. Nowadays, almost all shows contain romance: doesn't matter if it's comedy, horror, thriller, mystery and whatnot. Romance has become such a recurring theme in shows, movies etc it's hard to find shows without romance. Lockwood and Co as a netflix show and book ofc doesn't contain STRONG romantic themes. This allows it to be a show for comparatively younger kids. Not like super super young but like not 15+ either. It's a well balanced show: contains a bit of everything. The tension however leaves people wanting to see Locklyle be a thing.
In my opinion, the romance and tension makes the people want to watch more for more than one reason which I think is a start move from the creators side. I LOVE Locklyle and I am the #1 Locklyle shipper because they're so cute (poor George). And they're both so oblivious it actually makes me want to kms because JUST KISS ALREADY!! My favourite Locklyle scene is either the toast one or when she's calming him down outside (I don't want to spoil it for you or anyone so I'll be very vague) I also love the bandage one but like Lucy calming him down one is so CUTE! I'm not sure if you've already seen that it might be in later episodes so I'll be really vague. Also the toast scene>>>>!! get yourself a man who looks proud after giving you a buttered toast it's actually so cute I love Lockwood smmmm
UNFORTUNATELY, NETFLIX DOESN'T CARE ABOUT THAT AND AS FAR AS I KNOW IT CANCELLED (CANCELLED!) THE SHOW.
If netflix doesn't change it's mind, I will find out where the person who cancelled it lives and make them be a ghost in a new Lockwood and Co book written by me which will be based on a true story 😇
Anyways, I had SO MUCH FUN. TYSM NADINE (also is it okay if I call you that?) ILYSM and sorry about the stupid ask disappearing without my consent 😭
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eybefioro · 11 months ago
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Can you imagine: Aziracrow x Stardew Valley AU.
Aziraphale works to Heaven, a cold corporation that is indeed trying to take over every city and destroy the world in the process.
Then he henriets the farm from Agnes Nutter, a distant relative (that later he discovers to be a great grandmother of Anathema is the wizard, who lives in the tower). He just flee and start taking care of the farm. He gets to know the villagers.
Crowley is a rebellious son of the famous adventurer Beelzebub, that runs Hell, the guild that claims to protect the village from the monsters in the mines - but are in fact just exploring the mines themselves for money, and have a very particular contract with Heaven. Crowley works fixing his Bentley, in hopes to be able to just flee the house someday, and has an amateur rock band.
The local shop is run by the Young's, Pepper and her mom runs the animal farm, Brian and Wensley are brothers. RP Taylor is the mayor, and Warlock is his nephew who comes visit from the city, and always gets in trouble with Crowley (who is often hired as his nanny). Madame Tracy and Ms Sandwich are the seamstresses of the village, and Shadwell is the blacksmith. Newt is his apprentice, but he is really not good at it. Michael takes care of the Heaven branch in the village, Dagon is the fisher (yk where this is going) that is retired from mine work. Maggie is the teacher from the village, and is madly in love with Nina, who runs the restaurant. Although she teaches the children, her true speciality is in music, and she always helps Crowley with his band. Ligur and Hastur are miners at Hell, and they live with their child Shax. She's part of Crowley's band, but it's not that good at bass. Metatron is Mr Q in this, but he's actually ok-ish and not a piece of shit.
Aziraphale ends up helping renovate the community center, and a large part of it becomes the library/museum, before non-existent. Since he has to take care of the farm too, Muriel is the one to run it, until Crowley marries Aziraphale. Crowley is better with plants, so he begins to care for the farm while Aziraphale works in the museum with them.
THERES SO MANY LITTLE IDEAS THAT WOULD FIT SO NICELY!!!
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foccaccia · 11 months ago
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who are your ttrpg blorbos i LOVE hearing abt ttrpg blorbos...
omg ok im gonna try to keep this short or else ill write a whole novel but
In Monster of the Week:
Sunny (Sunsheighne Lydeighah Suarez) is a Monster of the Week character. She's 22 and bubbly and petty and and so, so, so, so, so, so stupid. Barbie Girl without the Barbie Accomplishments. Sunny started out as the Spooky playbook but has since migrated to the Chosen playbook - she's got the Green Dragon Crescent Blade and is maybe sort of the antichrist a little bit. She takes Every Drug. She's Mexican-Chinese and grew up in a trailer in Texas. She's so good at magic and hitting things, and so bad at thinking. She has phoenix ancestry and also was cursed. Normal girl things.
One of her moms is a failed country rock star and the other is a dragon. One of her dads is a cranky old monster hunter who turned into a god, and her sort-of other dad is a lich. Her brother has anxiety and is also a dragon, but is actually just a stressed college student with a band.
Sunny is engaged to a fae who is also Bees. She also has a girlfriend who is a crack shot and who enjoys accounting, and who we just unbrainwashed from a vampire tree. Sunny also has So many phone numbers.
Right now she's road tripping with her family (blood and adopted) across America as they break into the library of congress, try and fail to rob banks, and blow up a water tower to flood a town.
Sunny's ex-girlfriend was Audi Mercedes Windsor. Audi died, but Audi's fetch - her death omen, basically, like a changeling/copy only meant to survive til the original's death - survived, and got named Mercy Benjamin. I'm also playing Mercy - she's the Monstrous playbook.
Audi was the adopted daughter of an extremely rich film director, and most of Audi's life was filmed as she was trained very carefully to be picture perfect onscreen, and was exploited as basically a show dog. She was actually a mean selfish bitch, so Mercy is too - but Mercy is currently learning how to be a person and not an asshole. Audi was also in Sunny's brother's band, and Mercy in some canons is tentatively as well. She's roadtripping with the others, trying to avoid being noticed that she looks just like the dead rich girl splashed across billboards and magazines.
Jaime de Villiers is also one of my MotW characters in another campaign. They… are sort of three people fused into one. One of their component parts is a demon general named Kokabiel, who was the only true death in the war between heaven and hell. They wanted to be a perfect soldier and stand up for what they thought was right, as well as avenge their dead human spouse and child, but jumped in front of an attack meant for their commander and died, and became a ghost until summoned by their second component part by accident VERY long after, and the two fused.
Second component part is [redacted].
Their third part is a fae Spanish / French pirate from 1700's Spain, named Jaime de Villiers. The original Jaime served as first mate under the Kokabiel Fusion, they fell in love, and terrorized the coasts, but eventually Kokabiel Fusion and Jaime both nearly died and fused in order to save their lives. Now they are One Person with some very weird life experiences.
They've spent most of the last few thousand years at sea, trying desperately to be alone and Not Exist. Now they've been dragged kicking and screaming into a weird small Michigan town full of cults and secret police and monsters and witches and more, to be with their family (original Jaime's grandmother is a vampire and has a whole line of descendants who are wonderful and insane) and Be Helpful. Jaime is bearing the company and forced morality as best they can, and to their immense horror is actually starting to have a good time and learn to be happy again bc of their family. They accidentally stabbed their beloved cousin in the chest when they tried to kill The Actual Devil, but it's okay bc their cousin just became a goddess. Also they're now dating their old commander they died for, which is cool.
Another MotW character is Hector Carnage, who is a butch drummer in the up and coming band Bubblegum ☆ Carnage. She used to be a hockey player until a permanent hip injury screwed her out of her contract and now she's living her best life with her three insane bandmates. They’re about to play the weirdest craziest concert ever.
My last MotW character is Crescendo ‘Cres’ Flair, a.k.a Woebegone Lightfoot, a.k.a Harmony Caravaggio, a.k.a Beowulf Sublime, a.k.a Ophelia Divine, a.k.a - you get it. They go through new names every few months to Avoid the Government. They're a genderqueer Flake who uses they/he/she. He's also a sixty year old full out victorian goth with garrote wire and some wild conspiracy theories. Right now a hunter-for-hire, basically. She grew up on a dairy farm in Iowa.
Other than the MotW characters I'm playing now, I do have a scattered few others but I never did use them a whole lot. Here's a few,I can't remember all of them right now.
Daisy Smith is a fallen Aasimar who is sworn to defend all retail workers, is overly emotional and naive and genuinely kind/sweet, and also is a scary as hell warlock. Her patron is an eldritch horror of luck who looks like a bowling alley carpet.
Umami is a half-orc ranger with a panther familiar who I wanted to develop more but got shafted in the short campaign I got to play her and I'm still bitter about that.
At one point I had a rock dwarf who was a rockstar but I don't even remember her name. But I did love the concept.
And finally. Deco is my Baldurs's Gate character. Because I started playing Baldurs's Gate a week ago (no spoilers, please). That's basically a ttrpg. They're a Seldarine Drow, a druid from the circle of the spores. They became a druid because of the beauty they found in the Underdark nature, and because of their views on the beauty of death as a part of the circle of life and nature. Deco also is a decent leader, very forward, a little violent, and striving for true neutral if they can't hit neutral good. And they are absolutely going to smooch the shit out of Karlach.
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Sunny (the second piece is a parody of Mucha's 'The Moon and the Stars')
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Mercy (another Mucha parody piece)
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Jaime (the second piece is a parody of Klimt's 'Water Serpents I')
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and finally, Deco!
…that was kind of a novel. Sorry 😭
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