#lets be honest its mostly because he was jealous

[bambi-kinos]

Dakota Days Review

I got an ask requesting I post the Dakota Days review. The rest of the ask will be mega long so I don't want to just add on the review to the end and make it an even bigger read. So I'm posting this as its own free-floating thing.

So my deal is that in 2023 and 2024 I had enough time on my hands that I read a shitton of Beatle books (including most of the books in my big recommendation post, which I am still thinking about updating so keep in mind it hasn't achieved its final form.) I regularly talk these over with a friend and this review is mostly what I told her when she asked if she should read it or not. Either this will sell you on the book or it will not lol. I did some light editing for readability but otherwise it is mostly intact from the original post date February 13, 2023....good God, 2 fucking years ago!

Okay so Dakota Days. It's an account of John Green, also known as Charlie Swan who was a tarot reader that was close to the Lennons following John's return from his Lost Weekend.

Charlie states from the start that he is only trying to impart a snapshot of what it was like to live with John and Yoko during this time. He straight up admits that he has edited out certain parts of it to respect their privacy (and to cover his own ass as he did his fair share of scamming Yoko during this period.) He also straight up admits that he smushed together many years, events, and conversations in the book. He explains this very sensibly: while he claims a prodigious memory (which will prove not to be the case) he also says that he just spent too many years in John and Yoko's employment to recount all of them without boring the reader.

This is a very effective tactic. Charlie is deliberately telling us something that he is doing (editing the accounts of what happened) because it will make us trust him more. Being honest about misdoings you've done or will do tends to get people to like you more. This is what con artists do when they are trying to get people to fall for their schemes: they will tell you what they are doing and then they will do it. It is effective because it works. Charlie tells us that he is either misremembering or covering his own ass and because he does this we like him, which primes us to accept everything he says.

Charlie gets called up by Yoko only a few hours after John drags home. She renames him Charlie Swan because she knows John will be jealous of him having the same name. Charlie goes along with it because he knows Yoko is an easy mark; he claims in the text that he found John at Disney World of all places and that this is how Yoko ended the long weekend. Considering this is not how it happened we can guess that what Charlie actually did was pull the wool over Yoko's eyes and then claim credit for it. Again, a very effective tactic.

What happens next is really interesting: John feigns being poisoned. He's told Yoko that May poisoned him in his tea. Charlie reads the cards and they tell him "no way was John poisoned" and John leverages this to get Yoko out of the room. John picks Charlie's brain about the occult for a while and then lets him go home after a few hours.

Won't recount everything that happens next but I will say this: Dakota Days is the second half of the story about John's Dakota years and it compliments Fred's book perfectly. Fred depicted a manic John and a cold, distant Yoko. Charlie depicts a depressive John and an anxious Yoko in desperate need of hand holding at every single stage in her life. The amount of time and money that John and Yoko spend on con artists like Charlie as well as their other astrologers, mystics, and Korean herb healers is astounding. They were completely and utterly paralyzed with terror if they had to make decisions on their own. Indecisive, fretful, worried, anxious, Yoko straight up has a panic attack at one point because Charlie orders her to make a decision on her own and she almost dissolves into tears because she can't do it.

The funny part is I find none of these depictions at odd with one another. Yoko's imperious mask always hid the frightened baby underneath and John's aggressive ego always hid the broken hearted lover who wanted to be anywhere but where he was. Yoko didn't give Fred an "in" because he was a servant but she feared and respected Charlie so she could afford to be a broken little girl in front of him. John respected Charlie as a magician and hung on his every word. He didn't see a point in pretending to be something he wasn't like he did with Fred.

Charlie's big thing in the book is that he depicts himself as Spitting Straight Facts at John and Yoko. He condenses these into different conversations. For example, at one point Yoko takes John to Japan for a few months because she wants to convince him to live there full time. All of their clothes are packed according to what Charlie's tarot cards tell them are lucky to take. Yoko asks him to cast spells to keep John in a good mood. They plan out their journey to follow certain directions based on Japanese numerology that calculates the luck of cardinal directions. (Charlie cheerfully admits that this is outside of his education so he can't give an opinion on it. This is part of his set up, he doesn't have a problem admitting his weaknesses which makes him come off as more honest than he really is.)

It all goes wrong within two weeks: John hates Japan. Absolutely hates it. He hates having to entertain Yoko's family. He hates the hotels they are in. Yoko calls Charlie on the verge of tears and tells him that John is humiliating her in front of her family -- apparently Yoko's mother and sister called Yoko out on her bullshit and they accused her of accomplishing nothing with her art. (Holy shit, based?!) Yoko is desperate for John's wealth and status to impress her mother and tells Charlie, "I know what they say about me, they say that all I did was marry John and spend his money!" Which is of course absolutely true.

Yoko is desperate to win her mother's favor because she wants Sean to get a sizable piece of the inheritance but she was so disgusted with Yoko that she wouldn't even acknowledge Sean. (Brutal.) Yoko takes this personally because her sister Setsuko married a Westerner, a diplomat, and Yoko dissolves into hysterics over the phone demanding that Charlie tarot read for new, luckier clothes and have them air mailed to them. As far as I know, Charlie did it because it was an order and Yoko was paying his bills.

It gets worse though because John starts shuffling around like a zombie, moaning, whacking his head against the walls, etc. He tells Charlie that he's pretending to be dead. (I actually think I know what John was doing -- he probably absorbed some of Japan's pop culture about ghosts and he started imitating it.) This freaks out Yoko's family and her mother asked what the hell she was doing bringing this fucked up white guy to Japan. Charlie depicts himself as being the only person John can vent to which is something that I actually believe even though it probably didn't go down in precisely this way.

When Yoko tells John that they're going home soon, John perks up. He starts wooing Yoko's mother and makes nice with her. The funny part is that after all that, John actually succeeded in making Yoko's mother like him! Of course Yoko calls Charlie, again almost in tears, and tells him "John is doing it all wrong, he's being friendly with her, he's not holding her at a distance, he's buying her things and taking her out to fancy eateries!" Yoko is depicted as flat out hysterical in this conversation, enraged and upset that John charmed his way into her mother's good graces instead of making her submit by being ice cold and imperious (aka acting like Mimi) which dissolves her into anguish. And then, at the end of it all, Charlie says that Yoko is being ridiculous and it's a good thing that John is finally getting along with her mother. (Hittin' hard with that street wisdom!) Yoko is very bitter in response. After that chapter I thought, "man Charlie is putting up with a lot huh."

The entire book goes this way. It depicts a John that will make grand gestures towards Yoko (he has Charlie perform a "druidic" marriage ceremony to reaffirm his marriage to Yoko and Charlie has a GREAT time making shit up and forcing John to gather all this bullshit stuff that has nothing to do with Celtic traditions, Charlie's account is so so gleeful about making John dance like a monkey) but actively loathes her the rest of the time. Charlie outright states that their relationship is unhappy.

For example, when Sean was born, John was crazy with worry and made up the Dakota to be more comfortable for Yoko and the baby. But when Yoko finally came home she immediately handed Sean to the nanny (which John HATED, he tried to make her pick Sean back up because he was so upset) and went to her room after a huge fight with John. John then sat down with Charlie and bitterly vented about the fact that he knew Yoko didn't appreciate him and that he was furious that she smoked through her pregnancy and that she wasn't interested in Sean. He accuses her of making Sean sick which is probably true considering Yoko was probably on heroin through out the pregnancy! John is actually kind of stunning here because he is utterly pissed off at Yoko for putting Sean's health at risk and then snubbing John when she finally gets home. His breakdown when Yoko comes home is incredible. They have a baby that she hyped up to Charlie as a Messiah and then she didn't want him. And it still didn't make her love John. The despair in his words.

A lot of the conversations that Charlie depicts follows this pattern. At one point John gets so angry about Yoko's coldness that he picks a fight with her, gets in her face, and just starts screaming at her. She runs out of the room crying because she's frightened of him and then calls Charlie to do a tarot card reading on why John was so mad at her. Charlie speculates it's because she doesn't communicate well with John and he was trying to shake something loose. She goes on a long rant about why this can't possibly be the case because she's only doing what's best for him so please Charlie read the cards…. of course when Charlie spoke to John, John replied that he was angry that Yoko speaks Japanese because he doesn't understand what she's saying to the servants and he thinks that they're talking about him. He's paranoid and angry that she's doing something that he can't get involved with. So he started screaming at her and throwing cigarette packets at her.

At times like this, when Yoko and John are fighting, Charlie takes on an interesting role. He will tell them hard truths about their relationship that they don't like. When Yoko whines that John is being too independent in 1979, Charlie tells her that this is a good thing and that she should be happy that John doesn't need to be managed. He also tells her that she and John will be happier if they are independent of each other. This bounces off Yoko completely and she whines (Yoko is VERY childish in this book) that this isn't possible or safe because John is too stupid (!!) and naive (!!) to make decisions on his own.

Charlie very deliberately depicts himself almost as a marriage counselor to them. You can see his prodigious perfect memory fails him at these junctures because when he relays conversations, John and Yoko don't sound like themselves most of the time. But the funny part is, I totally believe it. I actually do think that Charlie Swan had moments where he gave his unvarnished opinion about JohnandYoko to John and Yoko. He could do this safely for a few reasons:

1) He knew they considered him superior to them. He successfully dug a foothold in their minds and had them both totally convinced that he was legit. They couldn't throw him out because he was their closest tarot reader and it looks like he also had a legitimate head for business because he was able to give them some good financial advice. All of this meant that they were in awe of him and neither of them wanted to go against what he said. They were completely at his mercy. In a way I think it's lucky that Charlie wasn't more malicious because he could have manipulated John and Yoko into doing some depraved shit if he felt like it. They both worshipped him completely. Independent sources verified that John called Charlie "the Oracle" and it wasn't all a jest.

2) Conmen are incredibly good at reading people. They see our weaknesses and they understand them. He had John and Yoko sized up the moment he met them. He realized John and Yoko were both inherently childish, very credulous, willing to believe anything, and that they would only take the easy way out. They wanted self improvement to come only at the cost of their check books. They loved spending money (I think they both had shopping addictions -- I know because I have a shopping addiction) and they didn't want to be disciplined in the slightest. In fact Charlie depicts several moments where outside parties force John and Yoko to be disciplined and they both react like children being forced to sit in the time out chair.

3) John and Yoko, being very petulant, lazy, and weak at this stage of their lives, were totally impervious to criticism. John at least admitted that he knew Charlie was right about certain things but Yoko always had excuses for why she couldn't give John a longer leash/respect him as her life partner, be nice to her mother (Charlie at one point straight up asks why she's being such a bitch to her mother and Yoko is full of pathetic excuses), spend time with her baby, etc. (She couldn't buy farmland on her own because she didn't know how to ascertain if any of the property was good, so she had Charlie do readings so she didn't have to take responsibility for it.) John and Yoko did not want to shoulder any kind of responsibility for anything at all. They are both depicted as sleepwalking through life, becoming outraged when anything temporarily waylaid them.

You could give them as many hard truths as you wanted and it would never take because they will never ever accept it or act on it or own their mistakes. John and Yoko are often at odds in the book, screaming and arguing with each other, John fucking things up on purpose for Yoko's family, but when it comes to Growing The Hell Up, they were a united couple saying "no the hell we will not!"

This is reading between the lines now but I think Charlie is straight up laughing at them at some points and he's letting us in on the joke. He knows that so long as they remain petulant and undisciplined, he will always have a job. So he can tell them honestly to their faces that they are bad parents, that they are a terrible couple, that John is a sullen asshole and Yoko is a whiny bitch, and they will never ever fire him. They will argue with him but Yoko will have him back in her bedroom in 15 minutes to get him to read tarot cards for her again.

A few things I found interesting:

Sean is not portrayed at all in the book. John once describes Sean as overly quiet and meek especially around John and John says it's because he knows Sean is frightened of him. Interesting that this is at odds with Fred's portrayal of Sean. However I actually feel a little soft towards Charlie Swan on this because I think he did it to protect Sean, the way he said he would protect the Lennons' privacy at the beginning of the book. I legit think he was shielding Sean because Sean under 18 when Charlie published this. I think he didn't want Sean to have to wrestle with being depicted in a memoir at that age. The Dakota situation is so fucked up that I legit believe that this expert scam artist might have been in the only moral person on John and Yoko's payroll. I say this because Charlie is absolutely fearless towards John and Yoko in this book so he clearly didn't give a shit about being sued for libel. So IMO he did it to protect Sean because Sean was only a child.

John goes in a 15 month depression in 1978 because Sean once asked him (after seeing one of their poor cats fall out of a window) what happened to the cat that died. John tells him that the cat went to the Land of the Dead because it fell, explaining that nothing can survive a fall out of a window that high. Sean apparently thought about it and said "then Daddy, why haven't you walked out the window?" Jesus Christ.

Charlie scolds John for being a shitty parent and tells him that Sean is just a kid and that he doesn't understand what he's saying. He's just repeating things that he's heard around the house, and if you read between the lines you can feel Charlie judging John and Yoko because Charlie understands that this exposure to the occult is fucking Sean up. John becomes very surly and asks him "how the hell do you know" to which Charlie replies "I studied art therapy and child psychology in college for my teaching degree." (Independent verification has proven that this is true!) John sinks even deeper into a funk that yet another person is proving to be more knowledgeable about John's children than John himself, and rolls over in bed, beginning a 15 month period where he won't see anyone. He just lays there watching tv with the sound off.

Yoko is constantly on edge. She's obsessed with what people think of her. Charlie describes 1979/80 as being very trying because Yoko constantly repeating the same questions for Charlie to read for, trying to divine what stories journalists will write about her next.

John is similarly obsessed with having a positive PR image. He's deeply upset that no one liked his Rock n Roll or Shaved Fish albums (because they don't have new material.) John spends an entire chapter moaning that he hates his audience because they don't love him enough. Then he admits that he thinks he owes them new material but that he won't commit to anything without having a decent stock of songs to burn through. Then he swivels back to piling more blame onto his audience and continues bitching that they don't love him enough to make up for the anguish that he feels all the time. He piled a lot of blame and resentment onto The Public for not being able to "fix" his sadness.

At one point Yoko wants to buy blessings/curses from an actual witch so they go to Brazil. They find a bruja and Charlie intimates to the audience that brujas are expert con artists in a class of their own. He relates that a bruja once sabotaged a building project at which time the builders invited her onto the property to do an """exorcism""" from which she made a tidy profit and they were able to resume building. (Charlie does not depict it in precisely this way but he relates the story in such broad ""magical"" terms that you can see him grinning, pointing, winking, and nodding at you from across the room. Charlie made it as obvious as he possibly could that he was totally fucking with these people and that he knew when other magicians were fucking with people as well.)

Yoko has to sit through a week of a Brazilian woman putting her through fake and expensive rituals, all while putting on a fake Jamaican accent??? Yoko is so dumb and desperate that she doesn't see through it. Charlie is incredibly contemptuous through out the section. He does have an interesting "magic" battle with the bruja (here called Nora, her actual name was Lena) where they size each other up and the bruja agrees to take Yoko on as a client. Eventually Yoko gets cold feet and begs Charlie for a way to get her out of the rituals because she's scared that Nora mentioned a "blood sacrifice" and Yoko doesn't want to kill someone.

To which Charlie replies: "Yoko, why don't you just tell Nora how you feel? You're the client, if you don't want to make a blood sacrifice then just ask Nora to do something different. I don't think she's going to kill a person but if you're that worried then you can tell Nora about your concerns and she'll either change it or explain what will happen. You're paying her, remember?"

Yoko dissolves into more hysterics. She's scared the bruja will put a curse on her or Sean or John. She's too anxious to ask for clarification or help. Charlie rolls his eyes through the entire section.

Then the actual ritual happens, Nora kills a dove (poor thing) and then tells Yoko to sign her name to sell her soul to…something? I actually didn't understand what, though Charlie told Yoko "it's impossible for you to sell your soul so just go along with it dumbass."

But Yoko melts down. She can't do it. She begs Charlie to sign on her behalf and it sounds like she was actually crying because she was so scared. Charlie and Nora both sigh but Charlie signs the document and Nora goes "okay, done!"

Yoko then asks Charlie "Hey did you sign Charlie Swan or John Green?" To which Charlie replies, "what makes you think I signed either of those names?" Yoko freaks out and follows him around going "What name did you sign?? Whose soul did you sell??? Charlie?!!!! Charlie!!!!" But he never tells her lmao. He is so fucking contemptuous of her, it's amazing. This sequence is Charlie Swan rubbing his superiority in Yoko's face with utter glee, and he completely gets away with it. She's too scared to argue with him.

Obviously Charlie doesn't talk about everything here. For example, he and Sam Green both pulled a fast one on Yoko by counterfeiting a painting and selling it to her -- her own boyfriend! It was a complete success, she paid them both handsomely for it. He doesn't talk about that here. But it's clear from the outset IMO that he lies his ass off about tarot reading through out the entire book and is able to do as well as he does because he does actually have some good business sense.

I have to be honest: I respect the fuck out of Charlie Swan. This man is a king. He scammed John and Yoko out of millions. He did so well that he could tell them how awful they were to their faces and they had no choice but to swallow it whole. They didn't have the sac to stand up to him. And he was kind enough to write this book and show us how he did it: by taking advantage of their fear, petulance, and refusal to grow up. Dakota Days is an amazing book.

I have decided that the rocknroll industry is one big trailer park and John and Yoko had the biggest trailer. John is straight up wandering around in a robe and curlers reading the astrology and Dear Abby sections of the newspaper, Yoko is knocking back forties wondering when she can upgrade to the younger model. Sean is their poor kid with a learning disorder that is doing the pyromaniac thing. Going to Swiss boarding school (so that Yoko didn't have to be reminded of John) is probably what straightened him out and saved him.

Not trying to diss trailer parks, I met a lot of nice people who lived in them when I worked insurance, so pulling more from sitcom trash here. But John and Yoko fought, a lot, like these types of couples always do (that anecdote of Pete Shotton's second phone call where Yoko is screaming her head off in the background. I live next to a trashy family like this.) Who knows what Sean heard and what he repeated because he was so young.

This is the book that convinced me that John retreated into the Dakota out of shame. He knew that being with Paul was the best thing that ever happened to him, the only good thing, and he fucked it up with drugs and untreated mental illness. Which sadly has to be hung around his own neck. He blew his life up for no reason and he hid because he knew that.

John thought there were only two options: go back to Yoko or eat crow and go back to Paul. He couldn't stand either but at least with Yoko he didn't have to dance for the press. It never occurred to him that he had options and could do anything.

[havesomewafflefrys]

The doctor, standing there, with a face of pure jealousy and discust, as he watched Rose pet a fucking cat. Will NEVER not be funny to me.

[notjustjavierpena]

you mentioned wife being the first person javi opened up to about his mother.

imagine him walking with her around his fathers ranch and just showing her all the places from his childhood, his favourite hiding spots etc and causally just mentioning his mum here and there. reader is clinging to his arm and just basking in the day.

at night they’re staying in his childhood bedroom since it got late and they had quite a few beers with Chucho and eventually javi is holding wife/then girlfriend close and just says “i’ve never told anyone about my mother before like this” or something like that ahhh

Open

Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator

A/N: This is extremely personal for me to write about as a person who knows what it is like to lose a parent when you are young. I have written this with utmost gratitude to Hubby Javi because I can process some feelings through him. I hope you enjoy this harsh thing. I hope you know that this heals me and I hope it heals other people too. It might not be completely how you wanted it but I hope you like it better.

Summary: Javier opens up about the loss of his mother inside his childhood bedroom.

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader (no y/n)

Tags: +18 smut, angst, talk about abusive parenting, talk about grief, descriptions of a child experiencing grief and the loss of a parent, descriptions of cancer and its effects physically and emotionally, talk about death obviously, hurt/comfort, love confessions, openness is beautiful!!! kisses, clit stim, sex to deal with emotions

Word count: 4.7k

Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56911576

Open

About two months ago, you promised Chucho Peña that you would help him with the annual apple harvest and suddenly, the leaves are turning brown, and September begins with magazines filling up with apple pie recipes. 

Today, you have dressed the part for a weekend on your father-in-law’s ranch with your boyfriend. Dressing the part means that you have gone out to buy yourself a pair of denim overalls that make you look mostly like a caricature of a farm girl. Javier promises that he finds it sort of endearing, reassuring you every time you bring it up with embarrassment on your face. 

“Stop worrying,” he says as he wipes his forehead with the back of his hand, standing on a ladder that you are holding whilst he plucks apples off what seems like the millionth tree in the orchard, “He likes you, baby.”

“I should have just gone with my usual clothes,” you argue with a little sigh. Javier doesn’t know how much it means to you that you aren’t seen as foolish, how much it would hurt to find out that you are seen as the butt of a joke behind closed doors. He doesn’t know how much you need this approval because Chucho Peña is the kindest and most gentle and attentive older man you have ever met, treating you like his own child with a soft mija (my girl/daughter) that had been enough for you to excuse yourself for a moment the first time you had heard it. He is not at all like your own father. 

“You’re making an effort that doesn’t go unnoticed,” Javier offers as a consolation after you have stayed silent for a little too long, stepping down the ladder and taking off his work gloves. He stuffs them into his belt and kisses you with another reassuring smile, “He likes you.”

“I guess I'll just have to trust you,” you sigh dramatically and Javier pulls you into an embrace, the chuckle he lets out vibrating against your chest. You feel his lips pull into a smile as he rests his mouth against your cheek.

“You are kind and honest,” he compliments and sways you from side to side as he holds you close. You wrap yourself around him too, listening to his sweet words and breathing in his scent, “And he thinks the world of you. I might actually start to feel a little jealous.”

A little smile forms on your face as he squeezes you tighter and when he pulls back just a bit to kiss you, you nod at him, trying to play it cool despite thoughts of self-doubt nagging at you, “I did warn you about how I get around parents..” 

“I know, mi amor (my love), I know,” he acknowledges and holds you close again, “But you did enough to charm him the first time to be invited back. And the overalls really do sell it.”

“Shut up,” you groan as he snickers in your ear. He always manages to make your heart flutter in your chest, teasing you relentlessly but grounding you as he does it. None of your baggage is too big for him, even as you present it with trembling hands from how heavy it feels to you.

“Just a few more minutes here and we can have a well-earned fucking break. I love you but not enough to skive off in my Dad’s garden,” he tells you and starts to loosen you from his embrace, “That okay?”

You nod and then you finally break apart. Javier gets back onto the ladder to pick the remaining apples off the tree in front of you. He starts the repetitive task once again, handing each one to you so you can carefully put them in the basket on the ground so they don’t bruise. While you do it, you find your mind drifting to the day you met Chucho. 

You remember the drive to the ranch, your heart pounding in your chest at a million miles per hour, and the fake smile you had given Javier each time he had asked if you were okay. During your stay for dinner and drinks, and as you smiled and charmed, you hid the anxiety until you were all the way back at Javier’s apartment once more, only then letting your facade crumble and telling him that the dizzying nervousness he had seen on the drive back had nothing to do with his father and everything to do with your own. 

Javier had asked you if your parents had ever hurt you and with a shaky voice, you’d had to explain that while the answer was no, what you received instead of deliberate cruelty was cruel indifference. 

“I don’t know what’s worse,” you had said with stinging tears in your eyes, “Being hurt or being invisible.”

“You’re not invisible to me,” Javier had whispered into your hair. He had held you tightly that evening, right in his hallway, feet planted on the floorboards that have become yours too, his arms a harbor of reassurance that things will never be like that again, “I will never allow anyone to treat you like that again.”

Now, as you place another apple gently in the basket, you think about how different Chucho Peña is from your father. Chucho’s attention is genuine and warm, listening to you with the same interest as Javier shows too, letting you know where some of your boyfriend’s mannerisms come from, whereas your parents’ show of care was always fleeting and conditional to the point where you wondered why they even decided to have you. 

“Hey,” Javier’s voice breaks through your thoughts. He’s looking down at you from the ladder, concern on his face and gloves already off again, “¿Estás bien? (You okay?)”

“Yeah, sorry,” you feel embarrassed that it’s so evident on your face that you aren’t at ease but decide to be honest, “Just thinking about parents and overalls.”

Javier steps down onto the gravel again, laying the gloves on the top step of the ladder. He tuts, face serious for a moment. 

“C’mon, you’ve been standing in the sun too long. Let’s take a break now and go for a walk in the garden. Still got a lot to show you,” he says with his hand reaching out for you. You take it with an unsure smile, but as you are interlocking your fingers and gently swaying your arms between your bodies as you start walking, you find that it feels more than alright to let yourself be comforted by him. 

Javier leads you through the apple trees until you are out of the orchard completely. He talks quietly about the ranch but there’s a slight hesitation to dig deeper than the materials and the construction of his childhood home. You decide not to push it, knowing that it was not easy to reveal your secrets, and instead admire the many flowers that will bloom in next year’s Spring. 

Javier seems to notice you taking in all the different bushes and flowers and you’ll never admit to seeing his shoulders slump slightly just before he starts talking again, “Mom loved this garden, you know. She spent hours here, tending to every single plant until her fingertips were green and dirt-smudged. I used to follow her around, pretending to help but mostly just getting in the way.”

“Didn’t get into trouble, did you?” You tease and lean into him as you walk. 

“Loads and I would hide up there when she got angry with me,” he points to an old and slightly weathered oak tree, a rope ladder in even worse condition hanging down the trunk, “But she’d always soften if I apologized. Once she said she liked her hyacinths without their heads to make me feel better.”

“I’d swap parents in a heartbeat,” you sigh with your head on his shoulders and he moves to let you hold onto his arm instead. He goes a little quieter and you allow him to hold onto her memory by himself for a moment, looking up to see a slight crinkle on his forehead. 

“Even when you’d only have one?” He eventually murmurs into your hair and from the way he exhales, you know that he regrets saying it, “I mean… I know you would.”

“You have beautiful memories of her, I can tell,” you say as gently as possible, “If you ever want to tell me more about her, I’m here to listen, you know.”

Javier clears his throat, “Thank you.”

A moment passes but nothing more happens. This would be the perfect opportunity but the silence stretches out until you walk beside him again, holding his hand instead of basking in his half-embrace. You want to say something but you are at a loss, searching for the right words to comfort him but failing just long enough for him to change the subject. 

“We should go see how far Pop has gotten,” he suggests lightheartedly and steers you back where you came from, out of what used to be his sanctuary with his mother. 

“Yeah, sure, baby,” you reply. 

Another time then.

—

When the sun has gone down behind the horizon and the cicadas have come out from their hiding places, singing their hearts out, Javier takes you to his old room upstairs. The both of you have had alcohol with dinner and while Javier had offered to take a cab, his father had scolded him for even thinking about such nonsense, telling him that it was a joy to have him home so wholeheartedly. Your father-in-law had looked at you with a warm smile as he had said it. 

Now, you lie in Javier’s old bed - just a little bit too small for the both of you - with the quilted bedspread lying neatly folded in the end. It somehow feels more intimate to be in his childhood bedroom than it would be to go through his underwear drawer. 

Right above you, several posters are pinned to the ceiling and overlapping each other. The corners of the posters curl slightly and their colors have dulled since the 70s but they display the men of rock bands like Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd. Some display the band logos too, they exist on the CDs that you have found in Javier’s glove compartment but he never listens to them when he drives you around. You make a mental note to casually put one of them on during your drive home tomorrow. 

Seeing those iconic faces from the 70s stare down at you, you can’t help but glance fondly at Javier when he isn’t looking but instead standing by the open window on the opposite wall, smoking a cigarette. Suddenly, his wardrobe consisting of denim jeans, colorful shirts, and leather jackets makes sense. 

You try to imagine Don Chucho coming in here with the determination to put out the cigarette in his son’s hand, holding in a lecture that would only have made the teenager roll his eyes. Then the snark that would have come out of Javier’s mouth, his face mustache-free and full of spots, and you smile so much that you turn around onto your stomach to hide your expression in his pillow. 

It smells faintly of sweat and the cheap cologne only a teenager would have bought, so you turn to peek at your boyfriend again. He taps his fingers on the window sill, overlooking the garden that you have come to learn so much about earlier. 

You spot small pieces of who he is everywhere; a stack of sociology books, paperback horror books with titles in both English and Spanish. The most worn down and loved one is El Resplandor which you guess to be The Shining. There’s also a corkboard on the wall with ticket stubs and polaroids, a framed photograph on the desk that you haven’t had the courage or chance to look at yet, beside it a figurine of La Virgen de Guadalupe that’s been tipped over in what seems to be frustration. Your smile drops a little as you feel the weight of the unfairness he must have felt. 

From the window, Javier exhales a puff of smoke and reaches up to rub his eye with his free hand. You glance again at the photograph on the desk, curiosity getting the better of you as you rise from the bed and walk over to it. 

As expected, the picture is of Javier's mother. What you didn’t expect is seeing your boyfriend at the age of what you calculate to be younger than ten. The resemblance is striking; her features are mirrored in his even with how much he still looks like his father. 

You chew on the inside of your cheek as you pick up the religious figurine next to the picture, placing her upright once more so her head is tipped toward Javier and his mother. There’s a surge of emotion in your stomach that you try to suppress, a sense of urgency to reach through the photograph and comfort the little boy who has lost half of himself. 

You hear him stub out his cigarette on the wood paneling outside, followed by the dry sound of him trying to brush the ashes off the wood again with his calloused hands. In his late thirties and still acting as if he’ll get caught by his father. 

He turns back towards you and you act like nothing has happened, holding out your hand for him to take. He glances in the direction of his mother’s photo but decides not to say anything even as he notices the figurine standing upright once again. You flex your fingers to draw attention to your hovering hand, “Come to bed.” 

You’ve both already been in your underwear for a while since it’s late and you’re alone - the overalls hang on the back of his door, scowling at you - so he simply takes your hand and you walk backward until the edge hits the back of your legs. You let yourself fall down onto the bed and into the mattress, moving backward until there’s room for him too. 

Javier sighs the second he is lying down next to you, your shoulders touching from the missing width of the bed. He turns onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow and staring down at your face. 

“What?” You ask with a little smile.

There’s a flash of something in his eyes and the fact that he hasn’t said anything yet makes you want to squirm nervously. He reaches out with the arm he has been lying on, splaying his fingers against your cheek as his thumb rests underneath your chin, and then he crashes your mouths together in a kiss that you know is him resolving back to past methods of dealing with it all. 

However, you find yourself kissing him back at first, grabbing his wrist, and leaning into him to make out with him in a way that his younger self wouldn’t have believed was possible to experience. There’s a warm feeling in your stomach as you tangle your legs together, desire for him swirling below your belly button. 

You gasp against his lips when his free hand slips into your panties, your heart hammering in your chest as he smears some of your wetness over your clit. He rubs you off until you breathe heavily, fingertip dancing back and forth over the hard nub.

“You’re so wet,” he moans quietly and slowly increases the pressure of his fingers. He really wants you to come, it seems. You didn’t have getting laid in your boyfriend’s childhood bed down on this year’s bingo card but you can feel your orgasm approaching so damn quickly that it makes you not able to think straight. 

“Baby,” you babble, horny out of your mind from the intense emotions in the air, “I’m not gonna— in your dad’s house.”

“Yes, you fucking are,” he says in a low voice, kissing your open and panting mouth to shut you up. You might come but he won’t have you making noise loud enough to reveal what you are doing. He growls in the back of his throat, “You want my fingers? Don’t reply. Just nod or shake your head.”

You dig your nails into his wrist hard enough to create little crescent-shaped marks. You want to nod your head so badly but it feels wrong to be nothing but an outlet, a distraction from what you should be talking about. So instead, you shake your head with a moan, on the brink of bursting, “Stop, Javier. Stop.”

Javier raises his brow but immediately brings his hand to a halt, watching as you whimper from being edged. You clutch at your own chest, rolling away to not tempt him to fall back into his bad habit. 

“¿Qué pasa (What’s going on)?” He asks with a crease on his forehead. He tries to kiss you again but you put a hand on his chest to create some space between the two of you. He scowls, “What? You’re not having sex with me because we’re in my Pop’s house?” 

“That wasn’t sex,” you bite with frustration throughout your lower body, reaching down to fix the waistband of your underwear. The fabric sticks to you and your throbbing clit tells you to beg for forgiveness so it can have its release. You ignore it, “That was you avoiding the elephant in the room with intimacy and I don’t want to be a part of that.”

Javier lets himself fall onto his back, reaching up to push the heels of his hands into his eyes. He groans and lets his palms run down his face until his arms rest along his sides again. He heaves a big sigh, “Shit. Shit, sorry.”

“It’s alright,” you promise because it is. You aren’t even mad despite how you probably should be, only feeling the way your heart aches for the boy who had to grow up too fast. Without a word, you reach down to entwine your fingers and give his hand a reassuring squeeze, “I promise. It’s okay.”

“We talk about her but we don’t talk about her,” he says to the ceiling. You go quiet and choose to simply listen instead of breaking the streak of him opening up about something so vulnerable. Instead of using your words, you rub his hand in soothing circles. 

“Pop likes to mention her occasionally but it’s with a little smile on his face and a funny story,” he continues quietly, “And that’s fine. Really, it is. I like remembering the good but he says all the right things without making it hurt. It feels as though he expects me to keep all the bad in check and believe me, there was a lot of awful shit. So much that sometimes it feels like I can’t move when I am reminded of it. Hospitals with never-ending halls, that poisonous shit they shot into her veins, her losing her hair, even her goddamn eyelashes, and suddenly not—“

He stops for a moment and swallows thickly. You turn onto your side and rest your forehead against his shoulder, still clutching his hand to let him know you are not letting go. He clears his throat to sound as if his voice isn’t wavering, “Suddenly not recognizing her anymore. This terrible sight of her turning yellow during her last few weeks. I was just a kid and it was horrible and unfair. I wish he’d acknowledge how horrible and unfair it was.” 

You kiss his bare shoulder a few times. There are so many things you want to say but mostly, it is that you are so sorry for what he went through. 

“I think I learned that nothing lasts forever,” he adds without looking at you, staring down at where his fingers are entwined with yours. He is quiet for a moment and you feel your heart pick up in rhythm as you try to find something to fill the silence with, something that debunks that belief. However, just as you are about to say something, he speaks again, “But I would like this to be. I would like us to be forever.”

“Javi,” you finally say softly. 

He lifts his gaze to lock it onto yours. He looks at his most vulnerable, eyes brown and big as he waits for you to continue. You take just a moment too long and he is off again, suddenly very chatty.

“I know I haven’t asked you to marry me,” he says, “But I promise it’s coming. I just need to get it right.”

“You don’t have to talk about that right now. You know I love you and I know you love me too; I know it’s coming,” you say to reassure, pushing the idea of only letting him speak away because this topic is too big to stay silent on, “I’m not lying here with you because I want a ring on my finger, and I’m certainly not treating it like a condition for you to open up to me. I want to know you, Javier.”

“Thank you,” Javier looks grateful to hear that, saying nothing for a moment before looking at the ceiling again. He laughs softly, “You fucking terrified me, you know, the first time we sat down together.”

“I terrified you?” You furrow your brows, huffing out a laugh of disbelief.

“I pull my grief up to every table I share with a person I would like to have in my life, mi amor (my love). I was terrified the first time we were on a date,” he admits, “I kept thinking when you were going to ask about family… If I was close to my mother. I hated to imagine the way your smile and curiosity would drop but I don’t want to just focus on the way I want to remember her. You were so kind and thoughtful and damn bright-eyed - that was before I knew about your dad - and I didn’t want to share how I actually remember her because you might have not wanted to see me like that.”

“Javi,” you let go of his hand to put your palm against his cheek, turning his head towards you. You weigh your words, “I want to know everything about you. I want to know everything about her too. Especially if you’re gonna marry me.” 

“She was incredible, loved music, always honest even if it meant war, and read so many books that Pop had to build her bookcase after bookcase,” he tells you with a tremble in his voice and a tear that threatens to spill down his cheek even as he smiles in remembrance of her, “But as warm and loving as she was hard. Believe it or not, Pop used to be the softie of those two.”

“I can imagine,” you say fondly. You let your hand fall down to rest on his chest, palm laying just where his heart is. 

“I don’t think I’ve seen a woman so defiant in her ways but she grew up with a lot of expectations of how she should live her life,” he continues, “I think that hardened her a lot. I think it brought a lot of trouble too. She was so fiercely independent. She was fiercely protective of me and Dad too but sometimes even more of herself. I guess I know what it’s like to defend oneself from all the bullshit people give you.”

“Fiercely protective?” You tease, “Sounds like someone I know.”

“Yeah, I guess. Maybe I got that from her,” he admits with both pride and sadness. He puts a hand on your wrist, rubbing it with his thumb as a way to fidget, “That’s why it got so hard when she got sick because that defiance just crumbled. I was just a kid but I was old enough to see through the facade she put up every day. I was happy to eat takeout all the time - I was barely ten, so who wouldn’t be? - but I knew it was because she was too exhausted to cook. The music was too loud, the TV muted so she could sleep on the couch all the time or maybe it had the sound turned up all the way because she was throwing up in the bathroom.”

It seems he cannot stop himself now, hand tightening around your wrist and tears falling from his eyes, “She would look at Pop with a scared expression because she knew she had to leave him all alone with me. I don’t think we ever talked about that fact. I think I just realized it for myself one day.”

Your chest constricts at seeing him cry for the first time in your presence. You’ve seen him in the aftermath of it on the nights when Colombia creeps into his head as he sleeps, where he excuses himself to the bathroom and comes out a few minutes later with puffy eyes and a reddened nose. Seeing him now, upset like this, hits you harder than you thought it would and your heart aches as you listen to him talk about the loss of his life. 

It is years of bottled-up cruel pain and sorrow flowing out of him, so you follow your instincts and throw your arms around him even if his arm is still trapped between you. You hold him tightly and feel his reluctance for a millisecond before he allows himself to tremble in your embrace. 

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” you say softly, “You were just a little boy, and you had to watch your mom suffer. No one should have to go through that.”

Grief is a funny thing because as you close your eyes, feeling his shuddering breaths against your chest in the midst of his emotional motion sickness, you swear that it is not an adult Javier that you are hugging but rather the version of him that had to let go of his mother. 

When your muscles start to ache from squeezing him so hard, you pull back a little to stare into his tearful face, watching his eyes glisten. You wipe a tear away but it is just replaced by another. 

“I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to mess this up,” he says and you’re not sure if it’s him or the little boy in him that speaks. 

“You won’t,” you reassure him, your voice steady like a lifeline that he can hold onto, “I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here.”

Javier sniffles with a hesitant smile. Like the instincts of a mother, you lift the hem of your shirt to wipe a few tears from his face. You lean close to kiss him afterward and then move to lie face-to-face with him, so close that your noses almost touch. Your voice is sincere, “I know she meant a lot to you and your dad, so thank you for telling me. It sounds like she was an amazing woman. I wish I could have met her.”

“She would have loved you,” Javier replies, “She had this way of seeing right through people, knowing if they were genuine or not. And you, you’re the most genuine person I’ve ever met.”

Despite the warmth outside, you feel a different kind flow through you at those words. You brush your lips against his in a tender kiss, “I need to make sure that I tell you that I love you even more when you are so open and gentle with me.” 

He looks tired now but it’s the tiredness that fills the body after relief, “I love you too.”

“I think you should get some sleep,” you say softly. 

“I’ve never talked to anyone about my mother like this before,” he adds, “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“You never have to find out,” you tell him and reach to rub a thumb between his eyebrows, “Close your eyes, baby.  I’ll stay awake until you’re asleep.”

He does as he is told and smiles until sleep takes over, his face relaxing, his mouth going slack, and his breaths slowing down. He is so beautiful like this, looking peaceful, looking like home.

.

.

If you would like to follow my writing then go follow @notjustjavierpena-fics and turn on notifications 💖❤️

[lxvsxjy]

Casual dominance • n.k

Cw: afab!reader, no uses of y/n, slight suggestive remarks, husband!nanami, pet names (babe, sweetheart) not proof read (sorry)

﹥*:ꔫ:*+ﾟ﹥*:ꔫ:*+ﾟ﹥*:ꔫ:*+ﾟ﹥*:ꔫ:*+ﾟ﹥*:ꔫ:*+ﾟ

Nanami has manners, he’s very polite no matter where he is. You would’ve thought that his mannerisms would have rubbed off onto you, but that’s not what happened. You sometimes get jealous of how natural his demeanour is, he doesn’t have to remind himself not to be a bitch.

He will always remind you to fix your posture, he puts his hand on your lower back to make sure you straighten it up, he didn’t realise what effect this has on you.

He’ll hold the door open for you, anywhere you go he’ll hold the door and let you go in first. Nanami is very laid back, he’ll mostly just get angry at his work. His laid back personality makes him even more desirable in your eyes. Nanami will always look you in the eyes when you talk to him, every time. It was so sexy but it can be intimidating at some points.

Like when he gets jealous, you know. His demeanour changes and his attitude is completely different. When he invites you to a work event, he knows he’s gonna have to keep an eye on his coworkers. There has been many times where his coworkers have tried to feel you up, he knows you wouldn’t let that happen but he just can’t stand the thought of someone else touching you in that way.

Your stood next to the drinks stand as you pour yourself a glass of wine, one of Nanami’s coworkers chatting you up. To be honest you weren’t even listening to what he had to say, you scanned the room in search for your husband. Your eyes stopped on Nanami, it was clear his eyes were fixed on the bloke who was clearly trying to make a move on you.

You notice his frame began getting closer. His hands snake around your waist. “Hey sweetheart, hope I’m not interfering” his voice was stern, his eyes glared at his coworker as he spoke. “Not at all, babe” His coworker seemed to get the hint because before you knew it he was making his way over to a group of people in the corner. Nanami still felt a slight pinch of jealousy, he doesn’t know why.

The rest of the night he tried to keep his cool, for the rest of the night, staying as close as you as possible. You were leaving the event, getting into the passenger seat of his car. It was an half an hour drive, his hand rests on your inner thigh, as his other one grips the steering wheel. “I don’t think bringing you to future events is a good idea” his serious tone was intimidating, not once did he take his eyes off the road. “Why not?, did I do something wrong?” Your head turns to look at him, he bites the insides of his cheeks as he focuses on the road. “Its nothing that you did, it’s just can’t stand the way they look at you”

The jealousy in his voice was clear as day, he finally turned his head to face you for a second before turning forward again. Pulling up in the driveway he stepped out of the car walking towards the passenger door to open it for you, you let out a small thank you in response as you followed him into the house. “I think we should continue our conversation” he placed his car keys down on top of the counter, as he spoke again this time walking towards you. “I don’t appreciate how those men talk to you, hell I don’t like the way they look at you either” his voice wasn’t harsh, he was just trying to talk.. “babe it’s okay it’s not like I’d let anything happen” you spoke up, looking anywhere but his eyes. “Look at me in the eyes when I’m speaking” this was a demand, though his voice wasn’t demanding. It was sexy, seeing him all jealous.

Safe to say, he’s definitely not going to take you anywhere near his coworkers in the future

[mariariley]

Simon Riley x reader

⋆✮⋆ relationship headcanons ⋆✮⋆

2nd person

female reader

NSFW warning

Word count: 1.4k

masterlist || have a request/ask? Here are the rules <3

I edited this one a little too many times 😭 added bunch of stuff so I’m sorry for the reblogs that aren’t getting the updates

Let’s be honest, it would be a hell of a journey to get with this man

At first, he wouldn’t be interested in you at all

It takes a lot of patience to actually make some kind of bond with him that isn’t merely because you’re a teammate or whatever you imagine in your CoD AU

If you’re patient and stubborn enough, you might get somewhere

If you treat him right, take it easy with him, prove yourself worthy and convince him you genuinely care, it’s a bingo

It might seem like you’re taming a wild animal but it really isn’t. Considering he’s a soldier preoccupied with duty, there’s no room for emotions

Or at least no room for emotions until he learns how to control them and put them aside when it’s mandatory which would take a while

That’s why he’d be slowly letting you in, step by step you’d notice he’d talk with you more and wish to spend more time with you

He wouldn’t tell you any of that though. He’d express that physically in a way - sit closer to you, stand closer to you (giving off protective vibes), stare at you

The staring part might seem a little unnerving but it’s just his way of admiring you from afar considering he can’t admire you up close (yet)

The situationship would go on and on as he’d slowly make room for you

When he finally makes sure the special little warm place for you in his cold heart is completely ready, he’d let you in

The moment you’d officially click would be spontaneous, you probably wouldn’t expect it. You’d be alone, probably just enjoying the peace with a TV on when he’d casually wrap his arm around your shoulder

He’d make a small talk, probably end up flattering you with a cheeky comment or make you giggle with a dad joke

For the first time he’d let you touch him. He’d let you sneak your hand underneath his mask and slightly lift it, merely to reveal his mouth

He wouldn’t hesitate another moment because he’d be tired of hesitation. You’d be surprised how gentle he is, how soft his kisses are and how careful he is with his hands

He isn’t into PDA so the crew would have to figure it out on its own

As your significant other he’d be ready to lay his life down for you. He’s extremely overprotective and would get jealous

At times it wouldn’t seem as healthy but if you’re good at communicating there shouldn’t be a problem with dealing with any setbacks

He loves pampering you, treating you like a princess, giving you everything he’s never had

He's a man of few words so his love language is mostly physical touch. It’s hard for him to choose which part of your body is his favorite because he loves holding all of you like a plushy toy

But if he really had to choose it would probably be your face and torso, his favorite parts to kiss, as well as your collarbone (has a thing for necklaces)

His sex drive isn’t high and it would take a lot of time to get fully intimate with him

First he’d spontaneously test your boundaries, make sure what you’re comfortable with and what not

Your first intimate session he’d take nice and easy. He’d realize how good you make him feel in every aspect. It would turn out to be very passionate, slow and intense

Every next time would be better than the previous one. You’d explore each other and experiment together and actually start doing it more and more frequently

You’d hear him praise you and dirty talk here and there. For example “You can take it luv”, “Do it for me sweethear’”, “There’s a good gal”

And when he’d make you squirt or when he’d want you to cum again: “Do it again for me”, “You can do it”, “Just one more time luv, do it for me princess”

He’s okay with oral but definitely prefers the real deal. He also prefers doing it inside, in complete privacy where he can cherish you properly

His favorite positions are the classic missionary, cowgirl and reverse cowgirl and even then he’d tell you to look at him over your shoulder because he prefers looking at your beautiful face

He loves holding your hand while thrusting deep inside of you, going slow with a perfect amount of roughness, stretching your walls. There’s something about this edging pace that makes his ears rumble in pleasure

Isn’t that vocal, mostly just grunts and groans and heavily breathes

Is a dom but not an aggressive one. Never.

He’d use classic nicknames such as “love”, “darling” but also “sweetheart”, “sweets”, “doll”, “princess”

You’re probably the only one he enjoys hearing Simon from. He loves when you call him by his real name

If English isn’t your first language and if you have an accent, he would love it. He’d tell you how adorable it is if you’re insecure about it

Fantasizes about moving with you to Manchester and owning a dog. He isn’t a family man, he doesn’t want kids

Loves when you admire his tattoos and touch his face. He’d always guide your hands to his face. He loves when you kiss his scars (and loves kissing yours if you have any, as well as beauty marks)

Loves to hold your hands and admire your nails if you like them painted and/or long (loves when you give him gentle scratches with them, especially his arms and back), perhaps has a tiny size kink

Loves your scent and your perfumes it you wear any, hence he loves when you wear his clothes

Takes his mask off when sleeping but only when it’s pitch black. Here’s a fluff oneshot I wrote about it

Fun fact: blud is not a morning person when he’s not on duty. It’s hell to get him out of bed

He sleeps none to lightly and wakes up when you make the smallest shuffle, checking on you and always making sure you’re nicely tucked in

He can neglect himself really badly and I’m talking hygiene and clothes. Not taking care of himself is a bad habit of his. For example he wouldn’t shave his beard for a long time, shower, wash his clothes etc

You reminding him to do such things can be annoying but if you do it in a peaceful suggestive manner there won’t be any escalations. He’d admit and probably call himself a dirty pig before finally putting his dirty socks and underwear in the washing machine and finally showering

He drinks. Bourbon is his favorite and he can consume too much at times. He’d reassure you he can control himself but sometimes he can get a little tipsy. He isn’t an alcoholic but the amount he drinks at times can worry you

He smokes too, often stinks of nicotine

Loves when you brush your teeth together

Also loves to watch you do your morning and night routines

Has a thing when you cook for him. Loves everything you make in the kitchen but he’s always the one making tea, no exceptions

Also has a thing to tickle you with his spiky beard when he doesn’t shave

He's a cheeky bastard, his sarcasm always on point. Loves making dad jokes and has a dark humor

Knows a lot of tricks e.g. with cards and that penny behind your ear trick. When you’d ask him to show you how he does it, he’d claim it’s “real magic”

Loves playing poker with his crew. Him trying to explain the rules to you is hilarious though because you probably wouldn’t understand anything. He’s rough on teaching

He’d love keeping you on his lap while playing poker with the crew along with a glass of strong bourbon, claiming you’re “his little helper/assistant”

Another fun fact: blud does not own enough clothes. You would have to go shopping with him which he hates

He would never open up about what he’s been through. He doesn’t want to traumatize you or ruin the picture you have of him. Or at least that’s just his fear. Only fear, to disappoint you and lose you

Though he would tell you about some missions and battles if you’re really interested. He’d tell you about his scars, where, when and how he got them. Some he’d skip because they connect to a part of his life he doesn’t want to talk about

What a journey to win Simon’s trust ey? Well he still can’t be surprised if one day something pulls you apart. Nevertheless he truly hopes it doesn’t

He wouldn’t want this to end, ever. He found his happy place and that’s you

Dividers belong to @firefly-graphics 🖤

[etheries1015]

Do you think the TOT group would mind tattoos?

Kind of self induldgant. I have an entire sleeve so I started wondering... How would the TOT gang react to that?

Overall I think they would be more open minded to it, seeing as they come from a generation where people getting tattoos are much more common. Yet they were also born just in time for their parents and grandparents to have wavering ideas about tattoos.... How would their upbringing affect how they feel about them?

General warnings: Female reader

Vyn

- I don't think he would be too fond of tattoos, just a vibe? He still is in the nobility mindset, so sometimes he finds his thoughts moving towards what he grew up around. However he will shove this line of thought down his throat. Just because he isn't FOND of them, doesn't mean he JUDGES others who decides to get them.

- probably has seen a lot of different people with tattoos in his line of work. They don't bother him, and he understands there are different reasons people decide to get them.

- He prefers someone who will probably be a bit more modest about showing them off publicly

however in private you are free to wear whatever you like. Encourages you to show them off in front of him, even. Tattoos or not, you still look like a princess in his eyes.

- loves that you can express yourself freely in such a way. All sorts of people express who they are through different means, and one of yours is tattoos. Will ask you about why you got them and their meanings, if they have any.

- Might be a little bit possesive in a way? Especially if your tattoos are in more of a hidden part of your body... He finds it attractive when he can see those parts of you and him alone.

Artem

- I REALLY get the vibe that he is more a traditionalist. Tattoos depending on what they are can be seen as unprofessional, and would prefer you to cover them up whenever you are working along side with him. Mostly in the sense of he wants others to respect you. He already has that respect for you, but he's afraid many of your clients will not treat you the same.

- Stares at them when you two are alone and have free time to yourselves. You ask him if he wants to touch them, but he blushes and looks away

- MEANINGS! He likes to hear about the meanings behind the tattoos. Stories about what happened in your life around that time, its his excuse to get you to talk about yourself

-honestly doesn't care THAT much. You're a smart person and he holds a lot of respect and affection for you, tattoos are simply apart of you and he comes to embrace that as well.

- If he catches someone staring at your tattoos too long...he gets a little bit defensive. Glares at them, pulls you closer towards him...sometimes you attract too much attention and he gets jealous!!!

Marius

- Literally does not give 2 shits

- Probably begs you to let him design your next tattoo

- likes to paint on your skin what he thinks would look good on you.

- so many dresses and outfits to show them off. Your body is a canvas! Tattoos are the art!

- when you two cuddle, he likes to draw his fingers around the pattern of your tattoos, comparing them to brush strokes and analyzing your tattoo artists work.

- "you're such a baddass, miss!" He often says when he flirts with you. You simply roll your eyes and laugh

- MATCHING TATTOOS. He would want something very small and discrete though, somewhere only you two could see.

- you can be very free about your tattoos around him. Zero judgement

Luke

- I have very minimal information on him if I'm being honest so I'm not entirely sure , but I'll give a couple ideas from what I do know.

- He doesn't care

- He loves you and the ways you choose to express yourself.

-honestly as if they don't really exist. He doesn't pay too close attention to it, its just you and your body, what does it matter? Having a tattoo doesn't change the fact your still his partner!

- Sometimes when you are home alone and you are freely showing them off, he will look at them. Comment on the artistry, ask about them, gives a good topic to talk about.

- Considers getting one too at some point. But probably best to sway away from it, due to his job (Maybe ?)

- Wear whatever you want and do whatever you want. Tattoos does not change the fact he fell in love with you and doesn't see you any differently for it.

[wortsandall]

okay so like lets talk about this...2k words of prowl analysis. mostly from mtmte 27 but also just general observations. i dont even know where to put a keep reading but just be aware this is long:

prowl has major issues. like i get him fr fr. but he's got problems. and the most important is his perspective. he doesn't trust anyone. he can see the capabilities of a scenario. he's a rule follower to an extent. sometimes rules are made to be broken for the greater good mindset. he isn't really close to anyone. they all find him grating in some way though they appreciate his skills. he's good at his job. i feel like because of this he thinks he's always right. and thats dangerous.

he always sees the bigger picture. the next move. like pieces on a chessboard. he sees the next big fight and how they respond. he looks down on those that can't seem to do that. bumblebee especially. but also...chromedome

because theres two scenarios here in mtme #27...either prowl is just really mean deep down. or he was trying to put himself on the same level as chromedome so that they can make up.

for the first option: prowl is unintentionally mean. he's sarcastic and blunt and honest but not malicious. what he said sucked but i don't think it was intentional. he sucks at talking to people one on one. outside of his position in command, outside of war times. normal day to day conversation is not his forte. so i don't think he intended to walk up to chromedome and blame him for what happened. i think he was trying to compare. put himself on the same level rather than say to chromedome that things going bad on cybertron was his fault, because chromedome had left that opening in his head allowing decepticons in. he does have a focus on the fact that chromedome removed his memories left him open to decepticon control. he mentions it twice. so i think he is bitter but trying not to show it and failing

for the second: he was trying to say basically that they both lost things. lets put our differences aside. but he goes about it so stupidly and without context of where chromedome currently is. prowl says first thing, the memory stuff. the memory stuff that chromedome is making a valiant effort to no longer do. and then he compares it to losing rewind. and thats when chromedome snaps. but chromedome was already in a bad mood. i mean i get it. from chromedomes pov-overlord was on the ship bc of prowl, bc prowl couldn't take no for an answer and tried to manipulate chromedome (and succeeded) into doing what he wanted anyway. he put overlord on the ship and told the rest to get chromedome to do what he already said no to doing when he's compromised. bc prowl knew that chromedome is essentually an addict to this memory stuff and would fold. which is exactly what happened. and the overlord thing is what KILLED rewind. chromedomes partner. and prowl walks up and basically says that they're the same. they both lost things-prowl his memory leaving him vulnerable and chromedome his partner. but its not equivalent to chromedome. and its too flippant, too casual of something to base a reunion on.

its clear that prowl is NOT over chromedome in anyway. that first conversation where prowl tried to get chromedome to look through overlords head is filled with jealous ex energy. snide comments about rewind and then threatening him. he basically provoked chromedome into taking prowls memory. he was trying to protect rewind and himself from prowl.

in prowls pov, it looks like chromedome snapped. that he got mad and wanted to hurt prowl for what he said which might be true to an extent. but prowl started that confrontation by not taking the no and trying to manipulate and threaten him into saying yes. prowls inability to let sleeping dogs lie is why rewind died. and still when he showed up and chromedome basically said he didn't want to talk to him, he pushed on anyway. once again.

and then is hurt by the realization that chromedome is more like bumblebee than himself. that chromedome is focused on the fact that his partner died rather than the big picture. of why prowl needed to know overlords memories. of what that could've done for the cause. because prowl doesn't work like that. he's too busy looking forward to see the mess he leaves behind. and he sees what bumblebee and chromedome do as a weakness.

and its hypocritical. because at the same time he keeps bringing up the consequences of what chromedome did. that it left him vulnerable. a personal thing just like rewind. he'd argue that its about the decepticons using his body to create chaos instead of peace but the reality is that its both. he is still mad at chromedome-a personal feud. the same thing that he's accusing chromedome and bumblebee of having too much focus on.

prowl NEEDS to learn how to focus in. to not see everything at once but small things. he overlooks the things that hurt people for the greater purpose of winning the war. but with the war over, where does that leave him? alone. and he will stay alone because he uses people. he manipulates and uses people. he makes comments on their decisions, unasked for. he patronizes and judges and it keeps people at a distance.

i think the one person he ever loved was chromedome. and he thinks that because chromedome didn't erase him that means he still cares. when chromedome erased his other partners because of how much he loved them and how much it hurt. in reality, chromedome meant more to prowl than prowl did to chromedome.

chromedome is the type to get along with others just because. he listened to shit he didn't care about just because someone else did. thats probably how they got close in the first place. but thats not sustainable. they're different people. prowl didn't even want to fight, he wanted to leave. and he just assumed that chromedome would follow. that was probably their downfall. chromedome had reasons to stay, people he cared about and such and prowl was willing to leave them. because the greater good doesn't care about personal attachments.

so they broke up and chromedome moved on. but prowl didn't. he watched from afar. and every chance he gets to show back up in chromedomes life he takes it. because of this misunderstanding of chromedomes motives.

his hurt at this rejection. another one showing that chromedome doesn't even want to resume being semi friendly like they were before hurts. he wants to hide behind impersonal truths like that chromedome lacks perspective. but in reality he had hoped there was a future for them that just needed rekindling and he didn't realize that chance died the day he asked chromedome to look at overlords memories.

and the altercation that follows and it being broken up by ultra magnus didn't help. because what ultra magnus said is objectively true. that prowl makes decisions that others carry out and he never has to deal with the consequences. the biggest most obvious one is overlord which killed pipes, rewind and two others. prowl counters with it being war. that decisions have to be made but it doesn't contradict what magnus said at all. its almost an acknowledgement of that. its not purposeful or malicious but that's war. people die. and its hypocritical for magnus to be upset at him for it when magnus has had to do the same. he tries to be flippant but magnus is hurt. he almost DIED himself that day. he would've. and it was because of prowls actions. so both prowl and magnus are correct here. but once again it shows prowl's inability to come to terms with peoples motivations or their emotions. he defaults to logic and the greater good, while most people talk about whats personal to them. but prowl doesn't know that magnus almost died that day. but im unsure if that would change his response.

magnus parting words are interesting too. he says that he's glad prowl has company because prowl is the loneliest person he knows. and thats true. prowl isn't close to the rest the way that they are with each other. yet he was upset when bumblebee questioned if they were even friends. they spend a lot of time with each other yet prowl spends most of that time crtiticing bee. he probably thinks he's being helpful when it comes across as overbearing. i think he overestimates his value to the rest of them. in his eyes they are friends, even if he knows they aren't close. but in everyone else's eyes its hard to tell. because there is no work prowl and friend prowl. he's one prowl 24/7.

but thats a lonely life to live. and the constructicons trust prowl because now he is a part of them technically. they've seen his memories. they understand each other. and thats essentially all he has left. and so i think it hits doubly hard. that prowl has never really had people to lose. before he had chromedome to lose and he lost him. but most of the time he's alone, and he doesn't know how it feels to lose close people. every one hes lost has been to war-he knows that reality. he signed up for it. probably adds to why he doesnt get bee or chromedome. people die thats war. and its cold but not necessarily unfeeling. i think he does feel bad that rewinds dead. not enough to recognize his part in it, but because he can see that chromedome is upset by it. and that makes sense. they were conjux. but prowls never really had anyone like that. except chromedome. so yes its good he has company. but at the same time i think magnus was also saying that its good that he has people to lose. that maybe he can understand where the rest of them come from. when they talk of their petty feuds rather than the bigger picture. its sincere but its also a damnation.

i think prowl is a really lost person. he's thrown himself so fully into the job that he's lost how to be. how to exist among others without purpose. without some grand plan and back up after backup plan. until he learns how to loosen up. how to live in this new era...he will keep losing people. the first to go was chromedome. thats not fixable, not for a long time. but he doesn't have to lose anyone else. he just has to learn how to change. how to adapt. ironically, he needs to transform.

and the constructicons:

he hates them so bad. bc he hates decepticons. and he was forced with them-into a gestalt of sorts. and now hes stuck with them. they seem to think they understand him, that theyre similar. which prowl hates because he doesnt want to think like a decepticon or be seen as one. when in reality hes one of the autobots who is most similar because of his affinity for the ends justifying the means. the bigger picture. he hates how megatron excuses his actions bc its needed for a united cybertron, but he makes the same excuses. its probably projection. something he doesnt want to acknowledge but its something he cant help but see.

and the constructicons put it out onto the open.

but he doesnt want hero worship from them, no. he wants to be left alone. he's used to being left alone. and now he's got 5 idiots following after him. but this should be a good thing for him. to learn how to navigate people. but instead it leaves him a little unstable. they bonded because they all hate spike. and now thats driving him. i havent read anything past dark cybetron. i have no idea what hes doing next or whats going on. but i feel like its not going to go well. and its because he cant let go. he lives in the past-constantly spouting off about what each person has done. while leaving his own sins off the table. it was war and they did what they thought they had to. and that logic applies to both himself and megatron and the decepticons he so hates. but he doesnt see it that way because hes stuck ruminating over the past and all the lives lost.

[magicalgirlypop]

no, the sailor moon 90s anime is not more feminst than the manga

i've seen people herald the 90s anime as this beacon of feminism just because it focuses on the relationship between the inner senshi instead of usagi and mamoru's relationship. there's this idea that the manga being more about romance makes it inherently less feminist than the anime. but i want to shut that idea down.

people keep circulating these three screenshots to prove the 90s anime is this feminist masterpiece

but just a scene prior in the SAME EPISODE, rei calls usagi ugly COMPLETELY UNPROVOKED

yes there's teasing between friends but come on. usagi didn't even do anything to warrant being compared to a monkey.

and speaking of rei... she's so heavily lesbian coded in the manga. literally her nightmare in the dream arc is getting married and settling down in the trad family sense. which she destroys with her akuryo taisan like the lesbian queen she is. also her distrust of men is a big part of her character in every adaptation... except the 90s anime which made her boy crazy and have that plotline where she gets with mamoru for a while for the sake of a rivalry with usagi!

there's the whole jealousy thing with chibiusa which is honestly weird no matter the adaptation and idk why ANYONE thought that was a good idea. but its somehow WORSE in the 90s anime. at least, at the very LEAST in the manga she actually communicates with mamoru about her insecurities and the whole jealousy thing only lasts in the black moon arc (which continues staying the worst arc regardless of the adaptation). in the anime... it lasts well into the end of supers... TWO SEASONS after usagi found out chibiusa was her and mamoru's daughter!

and lets talk about how they made usagi jealous over small things in supers! look i get it, she's a teenage girl and she gets jealous easily. but when you get jealous of a child who is also your future daughter and an old woman your boyfriend tried to help, that's when you have issues. there's an entire fucking episode where she stalks rei just because mamoru is staying at her house for a day!

and the most egregious thing which makes me laugh at any claim of the 90s anime being much more feminist than the manga.. is how they handled prince demande. you know, the guy who kidnapped and sexually assaulted usagi? in the manga and crystal, he's killed off unceremoniously.

but guess what ikuhara, the feminist king who knows to write SO MUCH BETTER than naoko, did. he tried to make demande sympathetic. he made usagi sympathise with him.

yasssss ikuhara you go make the pedophile sexual assaulter sympathetic, you feminist king! you definitely know SO MUCH BETTER than naoko!

and people thought crystal was antifeminist? get outta my face with that at least crystal didn't try to make the fucking borderline rapist sympathetic, he disintegrated in a pile of dust like he deserves.

you might be thinking "get outta here no one says the 90s anime is more feminist than the manga". well yes people do. you'd be surprised. i went to an old anime confession blog and found these posts back when crystal was still new and still had a MASSIVE hatedom

and these are just some of the posts. there's so much more. people who dared to enjoy crystal were called misogynistic for... liking a show. even today i see people bash naoko for the smallest things while praising ikuhara as a feminist king and lgbt ally who did more for the community than naoko (which is funny because the 90s anime has an episode where makoto has a crush on haruka and the girls are like "nuuuuuu mako you can't date haruka you're a girl" which wasn't in the manga). when he wouldn't even have been able to make the anime without naoko's manga.

there's an interview with naoko takeuchi where she says that the difference between the manga and 90s anime was that the 90s anime had a male perspective as it was directed by men while the manga mostly had a female perspective as it was written by a woman.

and it honestly really shows when you watch the anime again.

was the 90s anime progressive for its time? yes. is the manga peak feminist literature? no. you can prefer the 90s anime over the manga but don't go acting like its inherently more feminist than the manga just because it doesn't focus as much on the romance aspect. the manga focusing more on usagi and mamoru's romance doesn't make it inherently less feminist.

[pentagonieslut]

DKB REACTS: "can you cockwarm me?"

cockwarming, cursing, slight sex, slight 's' (sadism) lune cause its my fave (i want him to be s with me so mf bad), mostly g/n except for lune (mentioning of VS), harry june(mentioning of stuffing reader full in both holes) n junseo, slight (my very evident) size kink with junseo bc it's all you need, slight voyeur with dongil n junseo, jealous harry (aggressively bites lip), harry's is probs the longest because its also love and deepspace based, mention of messy sex, gona popping off, evident desire to have sylus ruin me, i'm sorry i'm being honest, it's hard hours, i just want to ride sylus's thigh once, harry's thigh too, can't forget heechan's, i'm very much in love at the thought of sylus being a dilf, this isn't even about DKB anymore, if DKB were love and deepspace characters i would be pregnant, i'm sorry once again

okay, i lied..i'm posting it early.. enjoy cuties!! it's been a while huh (i've been playing love and deepspace and moved again)? well this time, i'm back and going nowhere (sylus ladsp drabble soon cause i'm delulu)! i hope you enjoy the reaction and i actually didn't even mean to make it this long but i'm lowkey a whore and the thought of sylus makes me just mm.. uh anyway, my requests are always open so don't hesitate to even ask smth even if i'm slow at publishing my writings because of my pickiness..ahem also if you wanna talk like about random things or wtvr my blogs are always open lol (ldsp ID below if you wanna add me). also happy comeback!!

HUNTER ID: 82000027511 | lv. 48 | kaina kaiser-ryu

changmin (echan):

changmin was working on a song and he sighed for the umpteenth time. looking up from your phone, you smiled at him as he turned in his chair to face you. "come take a break and relax, it's not good to work all stressed." you said as he nodded and walked over to sit on the couch next to you. putting down your phone, you turned to massage his shoulders as he visibly relaxed and moaned at the feeling. chuckling softly, you grinned. "someone's going to need some good care tonight, hm?" changmin nodded his head as he leaned back against you. "baby, I have a question."

stopping your massage, you raised a brow and looked at changmin who only cleared his throat. "can you cockwarm me?" laughing and nodding your head you smirked. "yeah, of course I can. let's do it right now."

changmin had grinned and unbuckled his belt, yanking you onto his lap and watching as your face flickered in pain, him not even giving you a chance to prepare yourself as you leaned towards him with a soft hiss. "you've just been waiting to fuck me.."

changmin only smirked and his hands gripped your hips tightly.

dongil (D1):

dongil was busy laughing and chatting it up with his frat brothers as they talked about the soccer game they had watched. you had appeared at the right time as the boys all decided to play FIFA and dongil hugged you tightly with a grin. "I'm glad you made it." laughing, you grinned as you kissed his cheek and walked past him, going to greet the others. "I wouldn't miss your loss to minjae whatsoever."

dongil rolled his eyes as he placed you in his lap, focusing on his game as you quite obviously joined the others in cheering for minjae. "I'm your boyfriend, hello?" dongil said with a slight pout as you laughed and ruffled his hair. "yeah but minjae deserves the love more than you do." you said with a grin as everyone expected, the match ended in minjae's victory.

taking the controller from dongil with a grin and shifting in his lap to get comfortable, you winked at him and focused on the tv, your match against minjae starting. "watch how the queen/king does it." you said as dongil watched you play against minjae, moving around in his lap as the match became more and more intense, everyone's cheers becoming louder with each second.

grabbing your hips as minjae called for a pause and everyone went to get snacks or take a piss, dongil pulled you against his chest and spoke in your ear in a low voice. "can you please stop moving?" smirking, you felt his boner against your thigh and shook your head. "no can do. can you wait until later?" you asked as dongil groaned. "I'm not going to be able to wait..can you just cockwarm me?" nodding your head with a grin you laughed. "anything to keep you satiated." you said as he quickly lowered his pants and lowered yours, placing you back onto his lap as you swallowed your moan and him biting his lip to silently choke on his, feeling you tighten around him as the game resumed once minjae came back and dongil gripped the couch for the sake of his sanity.

gwanghyun (GK):

gwanghyun was bored and seeing your collarbone with the hickey he had given you a few days before exposed had made him swallow as he remembered that night, how he had let his anger and possessiveness take over, leaving you a sticky mess.

"sweetheart." gwanghyun called as you turned to look at him, your sweater falling down your shoulder again as gwanghyun swallowed back the groan that was on the edge of his lips. "yes, gwanghyun?" you asked as he looked at you and swallowed his groan again. "l-lift your sweater up, it's falling down.." he said as you lifted your sweater up, smiling at him as you turned to focus back on the puzzle you were doing.

you jumped at feeling gwanghyun's arms wrap around your waist, his face buried in your neck as he groaned softly and looked at you. "sweetheart, I know your legs hurt from the other day and I'm sorry but this is a different matter and I have a question that needs an immediate answer." laughing, you turned to fully face the male as he took a deep breath and looked at your collarbone with the bite mark. "can you just cockwarm me? i know your legs hurt but cockwarming should be a little easier, no?"

"as long as you're gentle. i don't think over-the-edge angry you is the one I want to have in bed every night." gwanghyun smiled and leaned over to kiss your lips as he lead you to the couch and laid you down on your back gently. he smiled softly as he removed your pants and lowered his, leaning down to kiss your lips as he pushed into you slowly, a deep moan leaving his lips as he then moved to have you in his lap with a soft smile. "so pretty.."

sungmin (lune):

sungmin groaned in frustration as you ignored him, arms crossed over your chest as you sat on the couch and watched mo dao zu shi on the tv. the two of you had gotten into an argument over your modeling pics, him not being happy you posed for victoria's secret.

"baby! just look at me!" he yelled out as you turned and snapped at him. "why? so you can yell at me again?!" rubbing his face with a hand he sighed. "okay, I'm sorry. i was wrong about that." scrunching your nose up, you sneered at him. "oh really, you're sorry?"

his eyes narrowed as he walked crossed the kitchen and stood in front of you, grabbing your chin roughly as he spoke with a dark voice. "I told you I was, didn't I?" looking up at him with wide eyes and swallowing harshly, you nodded your head. "y-you did.."

"you know what, i feel like using a human fleshlight." sungmin said as he jumped over the back of the couch and plopped down, man spreading and looking at you as you struggled to hold back your groan. his face was pretty but he looked even hotter when he man spread.

knowing better than to keep sungmin waiting, you quickly stripped and walked over to him as he grinned and yanked you onto his cock, shoving into you as he sighed happily, feeling your wall clench around him.

heechan:

heechan had just finished dicking you down and you were a cum filled mess. you had no intentions of moving as heechan laughed and cleaned you up. "remind me to never tell you that you can fuck me all night ever again.." you said with a soft grunt as heechan laughed and laid down next to you, his arms wrapping around your waist.

"i beg to differ. you were busy begging for more." he said as you laughed. "okay yeah I did but still, you could've gone easy on me a bit." grinning as he kissed your neck, he shrugged. "not as fun as seeing you tear up under me."

as the two of you relaxed, heechan's voice filled the silence. "doll, it feels empty without you around me. can you cockwarm me while we sleep?" laughing and looking back at him in amazement, you raised a brow. "babe, I'm still leaking your cum..are you serious?" heechan nodded his head and pouted. "please?"

"fine."

smiling, heechan scooted closer to you as he entered back inside of you, a soft moan escaping the both of your mouths as heechan snuggled closer to you, satisfied as he fell asleep immediately.

junseo:

"tiny. i'll pick you up from school later." junseo said as he hugged you, his leather jacket left with a faint scent of you. nodding your head, you smiled and waved goodbye as he grabbed his helmet, exiting the apartment.

as promised, junseo and his friends were waiting outside of your school as the students all whispered with one another, surprised that you actually got along with the gang. hugging junseo as you greeted him and his friends, grabbing your helmet he had held for you, you slipped it on as you sat in front and junseo held onto you as you drove the both of you to the hangout spot.

once you arrived, you went to change your clothes out of your school uniform and into your normal clothes. junseo came over to you after seeing you in your new outfit, him pinning you to the wall as he kissed your lips. "you look so good." he mumbled as you laughed.

junseo kept kissing your lips and moved to kiss your neck, mumbling how gorgeous you looked as he kept kissing and even bit your neck lightly, a hand covering your mouth as he lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist.

junseo pushed your skirt up a bit as you shuddered at the cold air you felt hitting your core. "i could eat you up all day.." he mumbled as he kissed and nibbled on your lip. you moaned softly as junseo mumbled and whispered in your ear. "can you let me put just the tip in?"

you nodded as junseo lowered you down and lined his tip up with your entrance, pushing into you gently as he continued kissing you and lowered your skirt, so nobody would see the way his cock twitched inside of you as he continued kissing you once again.

"hey! no fucking in a public area, go to one of the rooms!" one of junseo's friends yelled as the two of you broke the kiss, you laughing loudly and junseo turning to flick him off, his face evident he was more than ready to fuck the shit out of you.

yuku:

yuku had asked you what you thought about cockwarming randomly. when i say random, i mean:

the two of you were eating ramen and you were in the middle of slurping your noodles when yuku had called your name. "cookie. what do you think about cockwarming?" you choked on your noodles and cut off the noodles in your mouth as you swallowed and chugged your water. "huh? why mention that now?" you asked as he leaned closer to you, his hand holding chopsticks holding his chin up with a grin. "you just looked cute in the panda onesie and cheeks full so i just had to ask."

that was two weeks ago.

yuku had sighed and was sitting on the couch, tired from dance practice. as you looked at him and smiled softly, you placed a hand on his shoulder. "i'll take you up on that offer from a couple weeks ago." yuku looked up at you his hand paused midair as he put his popcorn kernel back down. "what offer?" he asked as he tilted his head to the side, as it took a second and he smiled his gummy smile. "oh yeah, come here." he said as he patted his lap and you climbed into it, him smiling as he kissed your lips and watched as you moved off him and gave him head.

his head was tossed back against the couch as he laughed softly. "cookie, aren't you supposed to cockwarm me?"

harry june:

you were playing love and deepspace, ignoring everything going on around you as you stared at the misty invasion memory wish video (the video is basically sex, they're all half naked for those of you without the game), drooling over the scene of rafayel kissing her character and sylus lifting her character up and placing her onto the counter as he grabbed her hand and pushed her down, the kiss sensual.

"god, i want sylus and rafayel to be so rough with me i'm sobbing for them to be gentle.." harry turned his head to look at you as he raised a brow, listening to you talk to yourself as you kept hitting the 10x wish button. "you want who and who to what with you?" he asked as he folded his arms and looked at you, his phone in his hand.

looking up at him you raised a brow. "rafayel and sylus. i want them to fuck me stupid until they break the bed." harry nodded his head and squinted his eyes as he went back to scrolling on his phone as you got into a deepspace trial, cursing and yelling at rafayel as if you were really fighting the wanderers. "shit! rafayel, baby, i need you to move! no matter how sexy i look in the eternal desert outfit!"

harry looked up from his phone once again to see you furiously mashing the buttons on your phone screen as you started to stand up from the couch next to harry, screaming at your phone in panic, trying to make a buzzer beater before the trial challenge ended. "ah! raffy, baby, please don't! no, move! fuck, fuck, fuck!" you shrieked as you continued to furiously mash the buttons, screaming in delight as you jumped up and down. "yes! i knew i could count on you baby! i never doubted you in the first place!"

harry started to grow jealous as he watched you glued to your phone, even snatching his phone charger from him as he was about to use it, your evil glare sending a chill down his spine as he backed away and let you plug in your phone, your whines now about sylus, as he saw the animated parts of the storyline, shaking his head not understanding why you were so enthralled with 3D men when you had him, quite literally, a human 3D character sitting next to you.

"sylus if only you were real, the way i would cry if he did the take you down challenge.." she mumbled as she stroked her phone gently, harry rolling his eyes and becoming fed up, snatching your phone away from you. "okay, that's fucking it." he said with irritation as he turned your phone off and threw it on the chair across the room.

you glared at him and got up to grab your phone, shrieking in shock at how fast harry moved to have you pinned against the couch. he glared down at you, his eye twitching. "all damn day, it's been 'xavier this' 'zayne that' 'sylus fuck me' 'zayne would dick me down better than xavier' to that stupid fucking game on your phone. do i not exist anymore?" he spat as you stared up at him, eyes shaking as you looked around before becoming angry at him. "it's fucking love and deepspace! do you know what misty invasion has done to me?!"

"yeah, made you want to be fucked by men who don't exist! i'm your boyfriend for fuck's sake!"

"so?! why can't i fantasize about a demon dilf or a doctor who has ice powers?!" harry groaned and shook his head as he leaned down closer to your face. "because you're my property, doll." he said as you swallowed and squeezed your legs together.

harry had bit your neck, causing you to stop breathing for a second as you let out a soft groan of pain. moving down and his jealousy taking over, harry had marked your neck multiple times, grumbling about how 3D men should be banned around him if he was going to have to watch you be a whore for them.

an hour later, harry leaned over to lay on top of you, tired from how hard he just fucked the desire of sylus dicking you down out of you. "maybe i should get jealous more often. you won't be having those deepspace guys filling your holes the way i do." harry said as you hugged him and laughed softly. "jealous harry is definitely something i could get behind as long as i can keep playing love and deepspace to push you over the edge."

harry kissed your lips with a grin. "yeah, i'm going to stay inside you longer in case i need to remind you who i am and what you are."

[volturiprincess]

Hellooo

Im new on Tumblr and dont really know how this works,but i love the Romanians as well,would u be willing to write a head canon of how jealous they are and throwing a tantrum to their mates when getting jealous?

Have an amazing night☺️☺️☺️

When They Are Jealous

A/N: Hope you like it. To be honest when I found out the height for these two according to the book via google, didn't expect them to be short kings, Why was I expecting them to be tall? I mean everyone else is tall, look at the Volturi; Felix is freaking 6'7 [about 2.0 m], Demetri 6'3 [about 1.9 m], and Caius 5'9 [about 1.7 m]. No wonder its taken the Volturi so long to find them, they aren't looking down 😂. Anyways enjoy dear 💙

Let's not beat around the bush here, Vladimir is the one who will get jealous easily and have his little fits (it's always the fictional blondish-white haired men who just have anger issues, what's up with that?? 😂)

Stefan has his days (Lets us not forget how in the movies he called the Cullen clan and others “Fools, you are all fools” when the others refused to go chase the Volturi down)

The thing is since you guys aren't around others that often, them getting jealous gets ridiculous funny 

Vladmir gets jealous if you spend too much time with Stefan or you supposedly are ‘favoring’ him when you ask Stefan to do somethings with you that you know Vladimir hates doing

The way this vamp will have his tantrums is how a little kid react when you tell them to share their favorite toy, it's a mess and if Vladmir could turn red with anger he would 

Mostly his anger is headed toward Stefan and not you (“Are you trying to steal y/n from me? Because I will gladly have my fist in your face?, sheesh 😬)

If you are with others, he will not leave your side, he will have a hand on your back or around you or his favorite thing, standing behind you and trying to size whoever is talking to you (According to google my dude is 5’4 [1.63 m], he's a short king, love that for him 😂)

He might not be vocal about his jealousy at that moment but in private he will rant to you about how that person was looking at you a ‘certain way’, you reassure him you would never leave him for someone else because you love him and only him, plus you are mates 

Stefan on the other hand won't get to jealous but he will do whatever to get a reaction out of Vladimir for his pure amusement 

Only times he will get jealous is if you are talking to others for too long or even when you are spending too much time on your hobbies (“but scumpa, why can't we do it together?” Or “What does that person have that I don't?”)

He will usually hold your hand when you are talking with others when he feels his jealousy kicking in or has a hand on your lower back (hold up…. according to google Stefan is 5’3 [1.6 m], ha another short king, love that for him also 😂, there's nothing wrong with being short, im 4’11 [1.49 m] 🙃)

He does not throw fits like Vladimir, he’s quite the opposite, he will tell you if he feels jealous 

Same with Vladmir, you will reassure him you only love him and won't leave him until death tears you apart 

[frelonshi]

NSFW Alphabet ft. Jiraiya

I think I'm perpetually horny about this man. Horny men makes me horny. Gender is never specified and there's content for both pussy and dick owners. Jiraiya is mostly portrayed as a top dom. Don't hesitate to send me any character for a (n)sfw alphabet!

CW/TW are tagged at every letter if needed. There are mostly mention of oral (both reader and Jiraiya receiving), vaginal (unprotected) and anal sex, as well as masturbation. I think the most risky thing is the mention, at several points, of a fake kidnapping scene (not described though) and Jiraiya is very, very horny in general. Don't hesitate to tell me if you think I miss some!

Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

For Jiraiya, sex is only over the moment you two fall asleep, meaning that aftercare is as important for him as any part of the sex - and that he makes sure he's the greatest at this too. Jiraiya has very good stamina, meaning that after sex he can still do things and he'll be very attentive. He'll probably bring you water and a towel to clean you up, run a bath if you ask for it or give you a massage. More generally, he'll be very sweet, either ready to talk or to be used as a pillow because orgasms (always plural with him) made you sleepy. He'll murmur you sweet praises, about how good you were, about how lucky he is to have you in his bed and in his life. I think it's one of the moments where you discover the most his sweet, vulnerable side and when he is the most honest about his feelings for you.

Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

This man, being the biggest simp, loves all of your body but let's face it: your sex, your ass, your thighs and your chest are his favourite parts. He'll look and kiss every bit of your body when you're naked, but this guy will spend extra time marking your ass and thighs and watch them jiggle; I think he'd actually play with your thighs and ass even out of sexual moments, like you'd be reading a book on your stomach and he'll just poke at your ass with a childish smile. Same goes for your boobs if you have, for the same reasons: the jiggle and the marking. I honestly think he'd use them as stress relief, just fondling them brings him peace. Speaking of stress relief: this man eats you out/sucks you off as a way of relaxing. Whether it's active or sex-warming, he just wants to taste and smell you.

As for him, I think he likes his chest and stomach. It's a mix of muscle and fat, perfect to look intimidating, fitting for any daddy roleplay and he loves how much time you spend on them, whether it's during sex or naps.

Cum (Anything to do with cum) (unprotected sex)

His cum is thick and he cums a lot. He loves to cum on and in you. The visual of seeing your mouth or your holes leaking is just heaven for him. He'll probably masturbate and ask to cum on you, certainly on your ass or your chest.

Dirty Secret (dubcon)

It's pretty hard to find a dirty secret, because this man literally writes about whatever lewd thing comes into his mind; so, lots of dirty, not many secrets. Hm, maybe he'd get embarassed if you knew he jerked off with your panties; but at the same time, if he wanted to keep it secret, he wouldn't put back the panty, full of cum, back into your closet.

Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He has a whole lot of experience. He's a busy man, between his network work and his book writing, but he also knows that relaxing is very important. He spent decades on the road and slept with prostitutes or have one-night stands whenever he entered a new town, sometimes every night of his stay. He has plenty of funny stories to tell, between jealous spouses and confusing twins. He knows perfectly what he's doing, he's very attentive to your reactions, so he catches very quickly what works the best for you.

Favorite Position

Doggy style, a classic, but every classic has its reasons to be. It can allow him to take you with a brutal pace, pinning your head against the pillow, or slowing hitting your spot while kissing your back. He loves how he can leaves marks around your hips - he has a very strong grip.

Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.) (mention of cnc)

It'll really depend on what kind of sex you're having. If you're doing an act, like a kidnapping scene, or a roleplay, he'll really get into the character - which is a very intense experience. But if you're having more casual sex, just a moment of intimacy between you two, he'll quip some jokes. But it depends on his mood. If you've been separated or if he learnt bad news, he'll tend to get more silent, more serious; but if it's been a happy day, if he's in good mood, he'll cheer a lot. He's mostly serious, though, focused on making both of you feel good.

Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Hairy as hell. Take a look at his hair; it's like that everywhere: chest, armpits, arms, legs, pubis. Everything is hairy, thick. You'll probably end up with some hair on your tongue when you lick him but hell, that body is too sexy to complain about.

Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

A bit like goofy: that'll depend on the context. He's an excellent, invested actor, and if the scene turns into a ruthless bastard, he will be. But when it comes to more personal intercourses, he can and will be very romantic and cheesy. This man writes books, about sex and love, and will try to recreate as many scenes as possible - yep, especially that one with rose petals and candlelight, you can't get out. Scenery aside, if he's in a good mood he'll tend to get vocal, to tell you what he loves about you and in general how much you mean to him. If he's in a bad mood, he'll make sure his gesture, his touch makes you understand so.

Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Truthfully, if he could just live in a bedroom and have sex from dawn to dusk, he would. His sex drive, his libido is endless. I believe very few can fully satisfy him - and I don't think he expects any partner to actually have a sex drive that high. Which means that even if you two have regular sex, he still masturbates a lot. When you're not with him (and if he has the opportunity because ninja life is full of surprises), he'd masturbate four, five times a day. Anything can make him horny; just the thought of you naked is enough (and imagine when he catches a glimpse of you naked when you exit the bathroom!). He's pretty basic in his masturbation most of the time, only touching his dick. As I said before, he likes having clothes of you, especially a panty, to either smell or jack off in.

Sometimes, he'll jack off next to you. He'd ask you to open your leg, so he can place his head right next to your sex, comforted by the position, the warmth and the smell and jack off right there.

Kink (one or more of their kinks) (mention of roleplay of teacher/student, omegaverse

Is there even a kink he doesn't have. I'm going to focus on three I hadn't had time to develop:

He loves roleplaying and he's open to pretty much any scenario. Teacher/student? Yes, he also thinks he needs to be punished. Royalty/Gods? He also thinks you deserve to be worshipped. Some darker scenarios like kidnapping interest him too. I also think he likes to roleplay the characters of his novels (by the way, yes, you're a muse when it comes to his novel). I firmly believe he wrote something similar to omegaverse and will definitely act as an alpha or let you act as an omega; or roles reversed. He'll totally take some days where one of you pretends to have ruts or heats and well, you two need to take care of it.

Sensory deprivation, especially on him. He loves the idea of being tied up, blinded, maybe deafened, and you touching his body. It enhances all his sensations and makes me shiver and moan like crazy. In general, he's not that quick to ejaculate, but when you touch his body like that, he's really quick to come.

Underwears. We already established he loved smelling and jacking into your underwear. But there's another thing that gets him going: you wearing his underwear, preferably already used. He just loves the idea of your two smells mixing, of two very intimate things being close.

Location (Favorite places to do the do) (public sex)

The bed is a good place to have sex in it but he has so many ideas. Remember, this guy wakes up and spends his day horny; and the mere idea of fucking you in very mundane place sends him over the edge. You're cooking? He'll pin you against the counter. You're brushing your teeth? Bending over the lavabo. You're working on some paper? Nope, you're sitting on the table now and he's between your legs. He'll fuck you outside of course - and when I say outside, I mean on the streets. Not main avenue, but you'll definitely find yourself with your face against a concrete wall and your pants around your ankle, with fresh air brushing your sex. He also likes to fuck you when you're both taking a bath, just a pure moment of intimacy and relaxation.

Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

See Kink part: the real question is what doesn't turn him on?

Okay, more seriously. He likes you in your everyday clothes, but knowing you made yourself extra pretty with lingerie? That's the quickest way to send him on cloud nine. He also loves when you act all innocent but you're actually showing off your cleavage, outlining the line of your hard dick or jiggling your ass before him. You know the cliché scene when a character drops something and the skirt is short enough to show the panty? That. Oh! And it's even better if you don't have any underwear, actually. It means you want to get fucked and Jiraiya is more than happy to oblige.

No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) (mention of cnc kidnapping)

Few things are hard limits for him, and I think "true" cnc is that for him. He's fine, enjoys, scenes where he's the "bad guy", like, for example, kidnapping you, but it needs to be the kind of scenario where the victim secretly wants it/enjoys it quickly. Even if he knows it's fake, you screaming "no" or that kind of thing really makes him feel bad.

Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He eats you/sucks you like you're a meal - and he's going to eat at least three times a day. He's very skilled at this, knows exactly where to put his tongue and how to relax his throat. Whatever your length, he'll swallow you in a go. He loves making eye contact, watching your face dissolves into pleasure. He loves when you mount him, loves when he feels like his only use is to give you pleasure. I'd say he has two modes. Either he eats/sucks you slowly, sloppily, almost as if he only wanted to have something in his mouth, a bit like an everyday activity while you (try to) do something else; and when he puts his whole mind and body into it and you can only shake under (or above) him. This man isn't scared either to eat your ass out, it's really desert after main course.

He's, at his core, a simple man: you on all four, sucking him off is more than enough to make him pant and groan. If you're not skilled yet, he'll be more than happy to teach you how to do it. He can't stay still, though. He'll trust into you, pull your head, your head. He loves seeing you choke on his dick and even more seeing cum overflow from your mouth. He'd probably cum on your face or chest, too, because you're truly an art vision covered in cum. If you want to send this man to paradise, spend extra time on his heavy balls.

Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

You know the line: it'll depend on the mood. He's as much capable of setting a brutal pace, one that'll leave you shaking on the floor than making tender, slow (almost agonizing slow) love to you.

Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)  

This man can't live off quickies, he needs to also have longer moments with you. That being said, quickies are so hot to him. Not having even the time to undress, being in some public space (probably not at home), just the chase of both your relief… yes. There's something so casual, so intent relief, that really pleases him. There's the excitement at the idea that even knowing he's so big, you'd do little to no preparation to take him because you need him that bad. He'd be the one proposing them often, I think. He prefers nothing over your warmth.

Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)  

Very willing to experiment with any kink, even ones he didn't like before, because sometimes it's more about being on the same line than the thing itself? He's also ready to take risks, like doing it in public, that sort of thing but I think there's one risk he is absolutely no game to take: it's your health. If he thinks something will do more bad than right, can really harm you more than a few scratches and bruises, he won't do it. Same goes for himself: he enjoys being a bit roughed up, but no real pain.

Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He can go on forever, for real. First of all, he won't stop until you're at least satisfied, and he'll go for as many rounds as needed. If he still isn't satisfied and you're not in the mood anymore/already sleepy, he'll go for some personal rounds. He's the kind of guy who can spend a whole weekend just having sex with you - hence the rut/heat roleplay that he can pull.

Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) (unprotected sex)

Of course he owns toys, and it's a very large collection. He has dildos of every size, and some of weird shapes, that he's willing to use on you or himself. He has things to stimulate the clitoris and also straps. I think his favourites are the Ben Wa balls (I hope it's the good name) and will torture you with it a lot. And plugs! He has tons of plugs. He'll make you wear some. He loves when you plug yourself up after he filled you up, or when you bend over with a plug in your hole, meaning that you can take him right now. He'd own also plugs with tails (I realized I didn't have time to really mention or explore pet play with Jiraiya, but this man is definitely a pet owner), and lots of clamps for your pretty nipples.

Unfair (How much they like to tease)

The real problem with teasing is that he'll cave before you do, most of the time. He likes to tease you, make you catch a glimpse at his body, or touch your inner thighs, but he'll generally be the one stopping the teasing because he can't resist the urge to fuck you.

Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

It depends if he's the dom or the sub. As a dom, he'll be relatively quiet I believe, focused on you, on making you feel good. He will let out grunts and groans, sighs and little growls, but it'll be relatively quiet. When he's subbing, when you're on him or behind him, he'll be louder, lost between panting, aaahh-ing and pleading for more, or telling you how good you taste.

Wild Card (Random headcanon)

I think he struggles with threesomes. Before meeting you, when it was just for a night (or a few nights), he was more than willing to spend the night with several people. But when it comes to the two of you, he struggles. He both doesn't really like someone else touching you, but he frankly doesn't like touching someone that isn't you. I think it just blocks him. He knows it's not cheating, but it feels a bit too much like it for him, and he can't do it. Orgy, however, doesn't feel the same for some reason. It feels less personal: you don't know and don't have to know the people that bring you pleasure, and it's more mindless fun for him. I think he also loves the idea of you watching over him while he's getting used to please others - but in the end, you're the only one that matters to him and you're only watching him, so that's not the same.

X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

He's massive. Like "'it won't fit' is your first reaction" massive. He knows he is, but he also loves to know he can fill you, make you so full of him. Loves to know that when you take him, there's no way you can be thinking about something else than his dick. He's long, around 23 cm/9 inches and you can barely wrap his dick with your hand.

Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Probably higher than you, as I said. He can do it several times a day, every day of the week of every month.

ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He feels relaxed after coming, but not especially sleepy. Plus, he won't sleep if you fuck during the day. But if you have sex at night, he'll sleep after he's sure you've been taken care of, that you're ready to sleep.

[writeandsurvive]

Author's note: I liked this idea at first and I still do, but I'm not I did a good job at writing it. Sorry if it's not great.

Summary: You always respected rule 12, until you couldn't anymore

Warnings: angst and comfort, 'normal' ncis stuff, mostly based on ep 20x14 'old wounds', ex/booty call, jealousy, Alden being a dick to the team, happy!Gibbs in Alaska

Damaged Goods ~ Alden Parker

You've always respected Gibbs' rules, they actually became a code for you to live by. And Rule 12 - never date a coworker - was in your top 3, because you saw how bad it could turn. You saw Gibbs and Jenny having this strange connection, Tony and Ziva invading each other's lives but never being able to be together until very recently (let's be honest, it can only work because they left the agency), and lately Nick and Ellie. Lots of struggles and heartbreak. The only exception being your friends from LA, Kensi and Deeks. Every rule needs its exception, and since they had this spot, you knew it wouldn't work for you.

And surprisingly, you did pretty well all those years. Never dated someone from the office, nor even a federal agent. You never even had a crush on someone from NCIS.

But that was before.

Before him.

Alden Parker.

At first, you told yourself it was just some kind of attraction because let's be honest, this man is incredibly gorgeous. Knowing you'd never act on it - and Alden didn't seem to feel the same anyways - you decided to call your booty call a little more often; someone you actually dated a while back, with whom it didn't really work but the sex was amazing. You're a human with needs after all.

The team knew Joel, except for the two new additions, Alden and Jess. So when J dropped you off at work after a night at his place and kissed you goodbye under Alden's eyes, he immediately assumed it was your boyfriend, which you didn't see the point of denying.

Seeing Joel more regularly worked for a while, until it didn't. Spending more and more time with Alden, discovering about him and all those things he loves, seeing him take care of his plants like a dad, bringing pastries almost everyday, showing love and support to the team,... You weren't just attracted to him, you were developing feelings for him.

When a case involved his ex-wife Vivian, you realized how bad you had it. You felt jealous about how he still cared for her, thinking he may still be in love with this woman. And you were just envious of Vivian for being married to this man for ten years. How could she let him go, you'll never understand.

Despite the way you felt towards her, you offered support to Alden when she got shot. Showing up at the hospital with food as she was still in surgery, you told him he could count on you if he needed anything. It took you by surprise when he reached for a hug as a thank you, you didn't have time to appreciate it, his body against yours, his arms around you, his smell right up in your nose. It was all over too soon.

For weeks after this event, he never talked about Vivian again, so you convinced yourself she got back to her life and nothing was going on between them. You were relieved and happy.

Meanwhile, you kept seeing Joel, and he asked you to be his date at a family wedding. You had no reasons to refuse. But working for NCIS being what it is, you had to change and prepare yourself at the office. Jess and Kasie helped you with hair and make up, and allowed you to leave only when they were satisfied with their work. Walking back to the bullpen, you immediately spotted Joel talking with the boys. He looked very handsome in his fancy suit, but your eyes quickly fell on Alden who was already staring at you. You shyly smiled but he turned his face. When you finally reached them, Nick whistled at you. "Looking hot, mama!" You giggled and thanked him.

"Wouldn't say it that way, but Torres is right!" Tim agreed.

"Why thank you very much, Timmy."

You looked back at Alden's desk but it was empty. He had disappeared. Shaking off the deception - you'd have loved to know what he thought - you focused on Joel, who grabbed your hand and made you spin. "You're gonna outstage the bride." He then gently kissed your lips and that was when you saw Alden again from the corner of your eyes, upstairs, near the MTAC entrance. Fucking Houdini. His face was unreadable.

When you came back to the office on Monday, things with Alden had changed. He got distant with you, teaming you up with everyone but him, not getting interested in your free time anymore, and barely answering when you got interested in him and his life.

You couldn't help but get hurt at his behavior. And your defense mechanism was to hurt back, so you ignored him even more. If you told him three sentences a day, it was a miracle and it was strictly about work. Moreover, you were back to calling him 'Parker' or 'Sir', after switching to 'Alden' months prior. Maybe you were being petty, but you couldn't bring yourself to care.

What hurt the most was when Parker invited the team for game night at his place, and you only heard about it by Kasie. "What do you mean you're not invited?"

"I mean I didn't get an invite, a question, a text, a call, or a damn pigeon."

"I'm sure he counted you in anyways. We're a small group, he knew it'd reach you."

"Doesn't matter, I'm not going."

Somehow, by the end of that day, Alden stopped you in the hallways. "Hey, are you coming tonight or not?"

You stared at him for a second before laughing sarcastically, "Kasie scares you that much?"

"Look, I just assumed you'd spend the night with Jonas--"

"Joel." You corrected, arms crossed over your chest.

"Joel, right. But anyways, I didn't think you'd want to come, so--"

"You assumed wrong, Parker. Very wrong. But I don't want your pity invite, so I'll not be there." You started to walk away from him but he was quick to grab your arm and make you face him again.

"I'm sorry. It was wrong of me. I let my --" he sighed. "I shouldn't have assumed. And I'd really like it if you would come to game night at my place."

Alden really looked apologetic and sincere. All you wanted to do was say yes after asking him why he had been acting like this with you. No, the complete truth was that all you wanted was to close the gap and kiss the life out of his man. You wanted his hands and mouth on you, his cock inside you, his noises in your ear.

You never felt this way before, and it scared the shit out of you.

"Too late, I made plans with Jonas." This time he let you leave.

It was a big fat lie though. You spent the night alone in your apartment, drinking, and feeling sorry for yourself. And before you knew it, you were booking a plane ticket to Alaska for the following weekend. You didn't tell anyone you were going to visit Gibbs. All they knew was that you requested your Friday and Monday off to leave town. Of course, everybody assumed it meant a little getaway with Joel.

It felt amazing to see Gibbs after months, and you were so glad to see how well and peaceful he looked. He showed you his new place, took you around this little town he called home - it didn't take long -, he took you on a boat ride, and fishing. Photography being one of your hobbies, you spent lots of time snapping anything that caught your eye. At night, you'd eat his infamous steak, and have a drink on his porch, facing the lake and mountains. "So, you gonna tell me why you're here?"

"I told you, I wanted to see you. I miss you."

"I miss you too, sweetheart, but I'm no idiot. Talk."

You told him everything and much to your surprise, Gibbs laughed once you were done. "Laughing at my misery? Alaska makes you mean, Leroy."

"I'm laughing because you're the idiot."

"Wow, thanks?"

"Parker has a thing for you. It's obvious. He's ignoring you cause he's jealous of Joel. Who, by the way, is still desperately in love with you." Gibbs laughed more at the face you made. Pure confusion, you looked like you were trying to figure out string theory. "Here, have one more." He poured you another glass of bourbon, and watched you drink it in one swallow.

"Okay first things between me and Joel are pretty clear --"

"Maybe for you. Honey, all you have to do is snap your fingers and he's there, despite breaking up with you, because--and I quote 'this job doesn't leave you much time for us'"

You sighed and went for the bottle but Gibbs grabbed it first. "Not yet." He said, putting it by his feet.

"Now, about Parker. He's friends with Tobias you know, and Tobias calls me often."

"Okay?"

"Parker asked Tobias about you, soon after he joined the team."

"What kind of things did he ask?"

"Things you like outside the office, your backstory, if you were in a relationship..."

"I don't believe you."

"Call Fornell, and you'll see."

"I check on Toby every week, we try to see each other whenever I can and he never said anything about that."

"Because he knows."

"Knows what?"

"Alden could be your Shannon, your Diane, sweetheart."

You tried to enjoy the rest of your trip, but you couldn't. Everything Gibbs told you was replaying in your mind and you tried to remember whatever you could, any interaction with Alden that wasn't work related. Were Gibbs and Fornell reading too much into this or were you completely blind? As an investigator, this made you question your abilities. If he really had a thing for you, how could you not notice? Or was he a really good actor?

You thought about Joel too, and maybe a part of you knew that but selfishly, you never questioned it too much. It was nice to have someone to call whenever you needed, whether it was for sexual relief or just have someone there to hold your hand, which he always did.

On the plane back home, you decided to have a very thorough and honest conversation with Joel. You didn't want to lose him as you really care about the man, but it was for the best.

But you came back to a weird vibe at work. As you got into the office on Tuesday morning, everyone was already here except Alden - admittedly you felt relieved as it gave you more time to prepare yourself to see again - and the team got you up to speed. "We had a case yesterday, a murder that looks like drugs related and Parker stormed off. He's been MIA since." Jess informed you.

"I went to his house last night but he wasn't there. Called, texted and nothing."

"That's not very Parker like," you conceded, puzzled by what they were telling you.

They gave you more details about the case, and theories they had thus far - wasn't much - and Alden finally walked in. "That's a W. For Wills, Clayton Wills." He quickly took his coat off and threw it in his chair. You sat back at your desk, and started to do research on this Clayton guy. Nick asked about pastries and Alden immediately lost it on him.

"Do I have to do everything around here while you just beg for pastries and sit on your ass at your damn desk?!" He angrily shouted, standing face to face with Nick. Who was this guy?

"Agent Parker!" You all heard from upstairs, where Leon Vance was standing. Alden sighed and walked to the director.

Everyone agreed that something was very wrong.

During the day, the team made progress on the case, but Alden wasn't calming down. He kept snapping about everyone, making it sound like the team was just a bunch of useless investigators. He wasn't with you though, as he was utterly ignoring you. You honestly felt invisible. If you said something, Alden would answer to someone else, like it wasn't you who talked.

This was a side of him you never saw before and you didn't like it very much. By the end of the day, you were all in the evidence garage, when a man in a wheelchair arrived, asking for Alden. "You're Jeremy Brighton?" Tim asked him with a smile. "My wife and I love your book and your podcast! - Tim McGee," he extended his hand.

You all proceeded to introduce yourselves, but when it got to you, Jeremy already knew your name. No time to ask for some explanation as Alden walked out of the elevator and a moment later, you knew why this case was personal to him; Wills' case was the one that got Jeremy in a wheelchair. It explained a lot, but it didn't minimize Alden's behavior with the team. Especially since he kept snapping, until Vance actually benched him on Wednesday.

You never meant to eavesdrop on Alden and Jeremy's conversation in Autopsy, but they arrived, not knowing you were the supply closet. The door was slightly opened, you could hear everything they were saying and it was obviously too late to let them know you were there.

"It was my bullet that hit your spin, Jer! And that guilt is eating me alive." His voice broke and you felt shivers in your entire body. You wanted to get out and hugged him forever.

They kept arguing back and forth. Jeremy telling his best friend it's not easy to live with Alden's guilt on top of everything, and Alden saying that his hobbies are just a way to fill the void. That man was broken, the guilt had been slowly killing him for years.

"Since we're spilling the beans, are we going to talk about her?" Your ears tickled.

"Not a chance." Alden was stern.

"She's as pretty as you told me, more even." You could hear Jeremy's smile. "Don't tell Josie I said that though."

Alden's small laugh was a bit covered by the body drawer being closed. "I will if you don't shut up."

"I may have made a mistake -- I guessed her name before she told me." Oh yeah, they were clearly talking about you. You smiled despite yourself.

"What the fuck? Jer! She's not stupid, she's gonna question that!"

"Well you could tell her you've been pining over her since you joined."

"I haven't --"

Jeremy laughed. "'Jer, she was so pretty today.' 'Jer, she figured out the case all of her own, she's so smart.' 'Jer, she has a boyfriend. Of course she has one, how could a woman like her stay single?' 'Jer, I can't stop thinking about her, I need a lobotomy.' Should I go on?"

"I think I need a new best friend." You heard the automatic doors opening and closing and then silence.

So... It was all true? Alden has had a thing for you for over a year? He's been pining over you? While you had a thing for him too? You wanted to smile and cry at the same time. Cry for the lost time and the pain of the past months, and also for Alden's pain and guilt. Smile because the man you loved had feelings for you. Your stomach was jumping inside of you. You had to sit for a moment to process and figure out what you were going to do.

Obviously, having the conversation during this case wasn't an option, so the goal was to get it closed as fast as possible. Which the team did once you found out evidence against Wills. But of course, Alden was sent home by Vance instead of joining on the op to catch him.

However, Alden refused to let it go. After calling Tim to 'check', he went rogue; left Jeremy in his apartment, grabbed his gun and went to get Wills himself.

~

Seeing Alden holding Wills at gun point, his pretty face bleeding, and the pain and the guilt written all over his face, was your breaking point. You put your gun away, and slowly walked over to him, not caring about the team being there. You stared at his face, saw the tears in his eyes. But he wouldn't look at you, he kept staring at Wills who was on his knees. You let your hand run over his arm, until it reached his hands. "Let it go, Alden." You whispered, pressing on his hands so he would stop aiming at the scumbag. "Look at me." He shook his head no, but dropped his aim. The team proceeded on handcuffing Wills, but you didn't pay any attention to that. You grabbed the gun from his hands and handed it to Nick, slightly nodded at him. A silent understanding that they could go.

It was just you and Alden, in that dark forest. Thanks to some spotlights several feet away, you could see his face clearly as you stood in front of him. He looked down, still avoiding your eyes. You put your hands on each side of his face, softly stroked his beard for a moment before forcing him to look up. "We got him. You are okay and most importantly, Jeremy is okay. He seems to be a very happy man." At this moment, he locked eyes with him, slowly figuring out that you knew the entire truth. "It wasn't your fault."

How, he wanted to ask. It got caught up in his throat when you wrapped his arms around his neck, and held him tight. His shaky arms wrapped around your middle, and his face buried itself in your neck. "Not your fault." You repeated, playing with the small hair in the back of his head. He cried in your arms.

You drive him home with his car, holding his hand the entire ride. The music filled the silence, you didn't want to pressure him to talk. Once at his house, Jeremy was still there and immediately asked what happened. Alden just apologized, grabbed a beer and disappeared into his greenhouse. "Do you know a ride home?" You offered to his friend. "I'll come back here and stay if he lets me."

"He will, he needs you. He's--"

"I'm in love with him, Jeremy." You spurred out, not realizing the words leaving your mouth before it was too late.

Jeremy smiled. "I figured, but I'm glad to hear it. He's been self sabotaging his life and relationships since the accident, and he probably won't be easy 24/7, but please, stick with him. He's worth it."

"I've been told I'm pretty stubborn ever since I was born."

"Hopefully, you're more stubborn than he is."

"Are you done talking about me?" You heard from the greenhouse. You should've been embarrassed by the fact Alden probably heard your confession to Jeremy, but you were planning on telling him at some point, so you didn't. Plus, you were confident by the fact that he had feelings for you too.

"I'm leaving, pal. Looks like you're in good hands. I better see you at Eli's game this weekend."

With Jeremy gone, you joined Alden. He was drinking his beer while checking on his plants and flowers. "How do you know?" He asked, without looking at you.

"I heard you and Jeremy talking. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to spy or anything, I was there and you didn't see me--"

"I ruin everything I touch. Don't listen to Jer, you should leave before it's too late."

You knew that no words would convince him at this moment, so instead of talking, you grabbed his face and crashed your lips on his. It was the most meaningful first kiss you ever had. You tried to tell him how much you loved him with that kiss, and Alden returned with the same intensity. He held you by the back of your neck, trying to get you as close as possible to him.

You only separated when the need to breathe was too important. "Let's get this wound clean up."

As well as all of his other wounds.

[angsty-elf]

-Behind Closed Doors-

Chapter 3: Greed (FINAL)

note: this was originally posted on AO3 last july as a 3-part fic under my other handle professor_freaksworth, figured I would add it here since we'll be getting the reze arc movie soon ✨

word count: 21.4k, including all 3 chapters

summary: you have been living with and working alongside aki for around a year now, mostly keeping things professional, until aki catches you in a lie. will his petty jealousy push you away, or ignite something inside of him he's been desperately trying to ignore?

content: very mild dub-con + drinking + smoking + pining + eventual smut + fem!reader + jealousy + angst + fluff + cunnilingus + blow jobs + ass play + unsafe sex + slight power dynamic/light dom/sub + unsafe sex + aki being a jealous baby + smut in the final chapter

characters: this fic centers around aki x reader, including some platonic denji x reader interactions + original male character mentioned(for the plot) + other csm characters are mentioned and are present mostly in the second chapter.

CHAPTER 1 CHAPTER 2

kohai: junior

Since you were coherent enough to walk home without help, Denji insisted you play that fighting game with him almost immediately upon entering the apartment, not hesitating in the slightest when he resorted to guilt-tripping you about being gone last night when it looked like you might say no.

Surprisingly, Aki sat at the table, watching the two of you as he nursed an Asahi from the fridge. He was mostly quiet, save for a few underhanded comments to Denji when his character was getting its ass kicked. You played for maybe an hour before Denji was actively passing out with the controller in his hand.

Aki stopped you when you moved to roll Denji’s futon out. I got it, you should rest. Like you were some sort of invalid and not just a drunken degenerate. Any retort you had stocked in your mental arsenal was lost on your tongue when his gaze fell to that side of your neck, a barely noticeable dusting of pink littering his cheeks. Instead of whatever stupid thing you had in mind to say, you blurted out a too-fast “Goodnight!” and ran off to your bedroom.

You’re not sure how long it’s been, but you haven’t slept. Staring at your ceiling, replaying over and over the way Aki’s hands had felt on you, the eagerness of his mouth on your sensitive skin. The electricity that shot through you from his touch was a separate beast entirely compared to how it had felt when it was Daichi, and you wonder what might’ve happened if you hadn’t been interrupted, or if he had decided to take you back to the apartment instead of returning to the group.

You hadn’t thought in a million years he would ever go for it like that, and you’re still having to convince yourself it even happened at all in an attempt not to gaslight yourself. He’s been acting no differently than usual since it happened, you’re not sure if you should be relieved or disappointed.

You might be a little disappointed.

“God damn it,” you whine quietly to yourself, covering your face with the crook of your elbow.

Aki’s embrace alone had been enough to make you uncomfortably soaked, and if you’re being honest with yourself, it never really stopped. Even now as you’re laying in bed, in your favorite giant t-shirt and fresh underwear, you can feel arousal seeping out of you, enough to where you’ll likely have to change your panties again.

Letting out a tired sigh, you give in, cursing Aki’s name under your breath as you slip your hand under the elastic of your underwear. You aren’t going to get any sleep if you don’t get this out of your system.

***

Aki hasn’t been keeping track of the number of cigarettes he’s had today, probably too many, but fuck, he wants another one.

He’s turned on out of his mind, but he can’t even bring himself to rub one out because of how guilty he feels. Taking advantage of you in the izakaya restroom wasn’t exactly what he had in mind when he wanted an excuse to take care of you, and he’s terrified that you’ll hate him tomorrow when all the alcohol is out of your system and everything’s back to reality.

He just couldn’t help himself, the way you were looking at him so innocently, completely ignorant to how many times he’s imagined what it might be like to feel your bare skin under his fingertips and have the taste of you on his tongue.

Aki couldn’t even look at you when you went back to the table, afraid it might be obvious something went down between the two of you to the rest of the Division. While Himeno had teased him initially about taking an “awfully long time”, she dropped it fairly quickly when he refused to take the bait. He could feel the way Denji kept eyeing him from the other end of the table, of course, the hybrid being the only person there sober enough to sense something was weird.

As dense as Denji is, he’s still probably a little more perceptive than someone who has at least five cheap beers in their system. Likely for your sake, though, he kept his mouth shut. The accusatory glares he was throwing Aki’s way said a lot on their own, and he had even demanded to be the one to help you out of the building when it was time to leave, grabbing your bag for you and everything, which made Aki wish he had shattered his nose this morning instead of just causing some light bleeding.

Breathing out a sigh, he sits up in his bed. He hasn’t even changed out of his uniform yet - with the exception of loosening his tie - too scattered to do anything but brood.

If there was a devil on his shoulder, it would be telling him how much of a dumbass he was for not insisting on taking you home as soon as you left the bathroom, that he might not ever get a chance like that again. He has no idea what the fuck an angel would say, good job not sticking your dick in your inebriated kohai even though you really wanted to?

Repressing a shudder, he shakes his head.

He did really want to. He still does, the way his cock is stiff in his pants and the high likelihood of precum staining his boxers is proof of that.

Glancing at his closed bedroom door, he wonders if you might still be awake.

Actually, he’s not sure he cares if you are, sleep deprivation and the ghost feeling of your warm body in his grasp bringing his Mammonistic longing to a fever-pitch. If you are asleep, he’ll wake you up, even if it’s just to apologize. The idea of you withdrawing from him or resenting him makes his stomach lurch, he doesn’t think he could bear it. He needs another chance to touch you again.

I’ll just see if her light is still on, he tells himself as he stands up, carefully creeping out into the hallway, almost silently.

I’ll leave her alone if it’s dark, he promises as he stands in front of your door, his Adams apple bobbing in his throat. Maybe she won’t even remember what happened.

Fuck.

His heart sinks like a stone in his chest when there’s no light filtering out the bottom of your door, his hands flexing impatiently at his sides. As much as he wants to reach out and turn the handle, he can’t bring himself to.

About to throw in the towel and skulk back to his room, he suddenly freezes, hearing something. Holding his breath, he presses his ear against your door, wincing at the clicking sound of his earring against the wood.

He hears something again, hushed swearing followed by the dull thud of hurried footsteps.

What the hell?

He’s not quick enough to get out of the way when your door suddenly swings open and you barrel into his chest, your nose slamming into his sternum, making him wheeze.

“Fucking ow…” You cover your nose with your hand, not seeming to register what happened until you’re looking up at him, a crease forming between your brows. “What- why are you standing outside my door like some sort of ghoul?” Your voice is a confused whisper, muffled by your palm.

Aki’s face burns as he looks down his nose at you, his hands lightly holding onto your upper-arms. “I was- um, I’m sorry…” He wets his lips nervously before adding in a low tone. “Why were you charging out here like you were about to kick somebody’s ass?”

Your eyes widen, and Aki can see pink blooming behind your fingers. “I wasn’t!”

“You sure? Cause I’m pretty sure I’m gonna have a tiny, nose-shaped bruise on my chest tomorrow.” He grabs at your wrist, trying to pull your hand away from your face. “Let me see.”

You resist for a second, but inevitably relent, allowing him to expose your bright red nose. He nearly smirks at the childish look on your face.

“Does it hurt?”

“No.”

You both kind of just look at each other for a moment, matching dark circles under your eyes. He regrets not stopping by the washroom beforehand, he’s sure he must look like a fucking nutcase the way his hair is loose and messed up from tossing and turning, and how he’s still in his Public Safety uniform even thought it’s likely past 3:00am. While your hair is also disheveled, he notices that you washed your makeup off, and changed into that way-too-big shirt you like.

So damn cute. It’s almost annoying. Additional frustration is piled on when he realizes he can’t tell if you have anything on underneath, shorts or otherwise. Chewing on the inside of his lip, his gaze travels above your head and into your room, which is dimly lit by the small lamp you have on your nightstand. You seem to notice where he’s looking, and you panic, barring your doorway with your arms like you’re a bouncer. “D-don’t look!”

He quirks a brow, amused that you think barricading the doorway with your body will somehow prevent him from seeing over your head.

The way your arms have lifted, the hem of your shirt slides up your thighs, and he can tell for sure now that you definitely don’t have your usual shorts on. He feels beads of sweat form on the back of his neck. What were you doing, storming out here in nothing but a t-shirt?

Ignoring your dramatic whisper-yell of protest, he looks anyway. Right away, he can see at least three different vibrators strewn about on your floor, recognizing them from his indiscretion earlier. His heart jumps in his chest, blatant surprise on his face when he looks at you again.

Lower lip trembling, you bury your face in your hands, like that would somehow make you disappear. “You- I said not to look…” Your voice is small and pathetic, Aki might feel sorry for you if it wasn’t for the pure elation he was experiencing.

You had been awake all this time, playing with yourself. Unsuccessfully, he determines, from the way it looks like your toys had been thrown and the way you seemed obviously frustrated. A divine smack of understanding hits him, and his eyebrows shoot up. Were you about to seek him out, and he just happened to beat you to it?

A loud snore comes from the living room down the hall, Aki makes a hair-trigger decision and gently pushes you backwards into your bedroom. You’re too humiliated to fight.

You still don’t uncover your face, even when you hear the door ‘click’ shut and he leads you to sit on the edge of your bed, the mattress dipping when he takes a spot next to you.

“Are you gonna come out of there?”

Wordlessly, you shake your head side-to-side.

Aki sighs, and you feel weight lifted from the mattress.

A shocked yelp leaves your lips when you’re roughly shoved backwards onto the mattress and your hands are torn away from your face. In a split second your wrists are bound in Aki’s hand and firmly planted above your head, leaving you nowhere to hide as he looms over you.

“It’s too late for this,” he mutters, his voice authoritative and tinged with exhaustion. “You were about to come to my room, weren’t you?” The grip on your wrists tightens, phthalo eyes scorching into you beneath hooded lids. “You must need something, huh? Tell me. Use your big girl words.”

He doesn’t let up, even though your eyes are huge, watering from shame and embarrassment, tears pooling at your lash line. He doesn’t care that you’re looking at him like a scared rabbit that’s just been ripped from the ground only to be rudely plummeted back into the earth, broken and split open so hungry mouths can feast. He’ll beg for forgiveness later. For now, he needs to hear you say it.

Finally, you speak, a pitiful waver in your voice.

“I just- I needed…” You look away, sniffling as a frustrated tear threatens to spill over and trickle down towards your ear.

Aki should feel guilty at the sight, but instead it makes his cock throb, and all he wants to do is lap it up. “What do you need?” He loosens his grip on your wrist, just barely enough so he can soothingly stroke at the skin with his thumb, murmuring softly. “I won’t know how to help you unless you tell me.”

His eyes fall to your breasts, pupils darkening when he notices the peaks of your nipples straining against the fabric of your shirt and the way you rub your thighs together, squirming under his scrutiny. Rudely, he forces your legs apart with his knee, making it so you’re unable to get any sort of friction, ignoring the petulant whine it earns him.

“Come on,” he coaxes, his free hand moving to rest on your thigh, digging his fingers lightly into the soft flesh.

“…more…”

The word makes Aki’s heart skip a beat. He could barely hear you, only certain you said something because of the intent way he’s been watching your mouth. “Louder.”

“More.”

The neediness in your voice betrays the dirty look you’re giving him, forcing him to suppress a smirk. He’s not going to ask you for clarification, there’s no need. He can sense the warmth radiating from the apex of your thighs through the material of his slacks, and he’s not even touching you.

“There you go. That wasn’t so hard, huh?” There’s a hint of mockery in Aki’s voice, but a tenderness in the way he searches your expression. Slowly, he releases your wrists, moving to cup your cheek in his palm. “Keep your hands away from your face,” he warns, thumb caressing the damp skin under your eye.

When you offer him a meek nod, he dips down to place a soft kiss onto the corner of your mouth. “I’m going to touch you now, okay?”

The question is rhetorical. When he slides his hand further up the smooth skin of your thigh, he can feel you shiver underneath him, and when his fingers meet the edge of your panties, you cling onto his biceps tight enough that he can feel your blunt nails through his blazer.

Slipping underneath the fabric, he’s met instantly with the wet heat of your pussy, groaning softly when the tips of his fingers are drenched in the sticky arousal leaking out of you.

“You are worked up, aren’t you?” He murmurs against your lips, slowly tracing up and down your slit, like he’s trying to memorize exactly how it feels. “No wonder you’re being such a crybaby.”

You let out an annoyed sound of objection at his teasing and he’s quick to placate you, molding his lips to yours, his tongue sliding eagerly into your mouth when you allow him access.

The hand that had been cupping your cheek creeps lower to lightly wrap around your neck, giving it a possessive squeeze before releasing it to cradle the base of your skull instead. Deepening the kiss, his tongue languidly explores your mouth while his middle finger begins to tease your entrance, eliciting a soft gasp from you. To his benefit, his knee prevents your thighs from clamping shut, and he smoothly slides his finger inside you. A strained sound gets stuck in your throat and your hands are quick to find the nape of his neck, your nails scraping against his scalp as you pull at his hair.

Aki lifts from your mouth enough so he can look at you, his eyes darkening at the blatant desperation on your face. “Look at you. All this over one finger?” His thumb swipes idly at your clit while the digit inside you glides in and out at such an unhurried pace it’s almost tortuous, you feel like you’re going to lose your fucking mind.

“Such a dick,” you mutter half-heartedly under your breath, letting out a hiss when he adds another finger, stretching you more.

Continuing his agonizingly slow ministrations, he grips your face with the hand that isn’t buried in you. “Me?” He asks sternly, gazed locked onto yours. “The guy who’s playing with your pussy?”

“Yeah…” Nearly a whisper, the nervousness in your tone makes the word sound more like a question than a definitive statement. The calculated way he’s looking at you is almost unnerving, and it makes you clench involuntarily around his fingers.

You almost let out a cry of disappointment when Aki abruptly slides his hand out from under your soaked underwear, body straightening so he’s no longer looming over you. Expression never wavering, he removes his tie, folding it up into a neat square while his eyes rake over your body. Inadvertently, you have just given him an opportunity to see how far he can push you, and he’s not going to waste it.

“What are you-”

“Open your mouth.”

“Wait- why?” You stammer, blinking up at him.

“Well, since you think I’m such a dick and all, I would regret it if I didn’t do my best to live up to your expectations.” He states calmly, a flicker of something unreadable in his gaze. “Open up.”

When you hesitate, a trickle of ice drips down his spine, worried he may be going too far, assuming too much. Even if you’re willing to let him touch you, you have no obligation to do what he says outside of work. You could very well tell him to fuck off if he pushes it and he’s honestly surprised he’s gotten this far already.

Feeling like he’s starting to suffocate from the weight of “what ifs”, he’s seconds away from groveling when you obey, propping yourself up on your elbows. There’s a hint of confusion in your expression, but the intrigue under the surface is stronger, and a balmy wave of relief washes over his body.

You barely part the seam of your lips when Aki grasps your jaw, stuffing the folded tie into your mouth, deep enough to where you’re probably uncomfortable but not enough to make you choke. He would be lying to himself if he said he wouldn’t love to see you gag, but he’d much rather it be on his dick. The tie is just a pacifier, to shut you up for a minute so he can do what he wants and give you what you need.

“That’s better,” he remarks, heart beating wildly in his chest. Your pink lips are stretched, mouth full, a surprised and sheepish look veiling your sweet face. His cock is practically pulsing at the sight of you.

Unceremoniously and without warning, he flips you onto your stomach, ignoring the muffled noise of protest as he lifts your hips into the air so your back is beautifully curved and arched for him. A smug smirk plays at his lips when you glare at him indignantly over your shoulder, maintaining eye contact as he shrugs out of his blazer, tossing it to the floor before popping open the first two buttons of his shirt.

“It might be uncomfortable, but I need you to put your hands behind your back.” He says plainly, undoing his belt and sliding it out of the loops of his slacks, the swishing sound making you flinch.

At this angle Aki can see the wet spot on the crotch of your panties is almost completely soaked through, making his mouth water. You’re quicker to comply this time, a lingering mixture of hesitance and anticipation in your gaze. As soon as your arms are behind your back, he wastes no time securing your wrists together with the thin leather material of his belt, careful not to cut the circulation off to your hands, muttering soothing words of praise at your cooperation.

Leaning back to appreciate his work, he’s sure it must be painful.

The way your chest and the side of your face is crushed into your bedding, unable to support your upper body in the slightest, an almost unbearable amount of strain put on your neck and shoulders from having your arms forced behind you. Aki can hear a quiet, pathetic sound coming from your throat, but you make no move to adjust your position, eyes glimmering when he gently murmurs. That’s right, stay just like that for me. Such a good girl, aren’t you? Always out to please, even if it hurts.

Your shirt is pooled near the base of your ribcage, exposing the skin of your back, the soft curve of your waist and hips. Greedily, his hands roam over you, gripping possessively at every give of flesh, every dip and contour you have to offer him. His touch seems omnipresent, scorching you from the inside out. Even though he’s been neglecting the part where you need him most, you’re practically writhing underneath him.

“Getting impatient?” Aki asks in a patronizing tone. His hands find the meat of your ass, fingertips digging in aggressively before moving upward to tease at the waistband of your underwear. You look up at him pleadingly with lacquered eyes. He huffs. “Since when did you get so spoiled?”

In a careful yet deliberate motion, he slides your panties down over the swell of your backside, leaving them limp, drenched and useless around your knees.

Aki sees you clearly now. Dripping wet, bare and glistening, completely vulnerable. He’s almost too dazed to note the little sound you made at having your needy sex abruptly exposed to the cool air of your bedroom.

Fuck. Gritting his teeth, his hand flies to pinch at the tip of his cock over his slacks. He’s been painfully hard for a while now, and seeing you like this nearly sent him over the edge. Taking a couple breaths, he tries to pull himself together.

“It’s like you think you’re the only one who’s been suffering,” he mutters, voice strained and barely audible as he spreads you, watching a trail of arousal drip down between the V of his fingers and onto the back of his hand. “Is that it?” He’s so close now that you can feel his breath ghosting over your sensitive flesh, making you shudder.

When he places a tentative kiss onto your already swollen clit, you let out a muffled cry, flinching involuntarily at the sensation.

“Hold still,” he warns, hands moving just below your ass to grab onto the sides of your thighs, preventing you from wriggling around. Flattening his tongue, he runs a hot stripe from your clit up to your opening, forcing his tongue inside and swallowing the juices that trickle down his throat with a low groan.

You can’t think anymore, not even of the burning of your shoulders or the way it’s hard to breath with your chest crushed against your mattress. All you can think of is the way Aki’s tongue feels on you, desperate and sloppy at one moment, precise and leisurely at the next, his grip on your thighs almost bruising.

The tie in your mouth is drenched and drool has started to spill out the corner of your mouth, soaking into the bedspread beneath you, but you hardly notice. Aki’s fingers are in you now, pumping slowly in and out while he lazily sucks at your clit, you can feel a hot coil of desire building in your womb, almost snapping when he puts increasing pressure onto the soft spot inside your walls that makes you feel like your mind is going to break.

You’re so close, right at the cusp when his long fingers slide out of you, swiftly replaced by his thumb, but it’s only swirling around the surface now, gathering fluid. Annoyed, you buck lightly against his face in an attempt to get him to put something back in you before you lose it, and that earns you a sharp swat to the inside of your thigh, hard enough to make you gasp.

“Don’t be an impatient brat,” Aki scolds, continuing to gather your arousal onto his thumb before sliding up your fleshy cheek to circle slowly around the rim of your ass. Your eyes flash wide open. When you let out a high-pitched sound of objection, Aki soothingly caresses you with his other hand, tracing lazy circles around your aching clit with the tip of his tongue.

“It’s alright,” he murmurs, the low tone vibrating against you as he presses more firmly against the taught ring. “You wanted more, didn’t you?”

Heart fluttering like a caged bird in your chest, you emit a reluctant hum of agreement, even though your hands are flexing nervously behind your back and you feel like you can’t catch your breath. You eventually find yourself starting to relax, melting into the feeling of his warm mouth against you and the tender way he’s stroking the skin of your thigh. When Aki feels you loosen more at his gentle touch, he pushes past the resistance and submerges the tip of his thumb into you, pausing for a moment so you can get used to the intrusion. You groan.

“Not so bad, huh?” Aki mutters between sloppy licks, slowly sinking his thumb deeper. “Relax and let me take care of you.”

When he hears an affirmative moan come from you, he feels his shoulders sink, unaware that he was tensing them. Not holding back any longer, he practically cannibalizes you, licking and sucking on your pussy like he’s starving. His thumb glides in and out of your asshole at a steady pace, making a shiver shoot up your spine and your eyes roll to the back of your head.

It’s relentless, and soon you find your legs shaking uncontrollably, tears flowing out of the corners of your eyes. The black tie in your mouth is a sopping, disgusting mess, you can’t take it anymore and force it out of your mouth with your tongue, a thick string of saliva following it.

“Aki! Wait, please- I can’t!” Your words are no longer suppressed but they’re hardly coherent, wobbly and disjointed from the intensity. “T-too much!”

Uncaring that you’ve managed to un-gag yourself, your pathetic begging only drives Aki to double his efforts. He cruelly teases your pulsing flesh, his thumb showing no sign of slowing down. His mouth is coated, chin dripping with your essence, making it feel like he’s melting into you. It’s ecstasy, the way you taste and the way you’re crying his name. He needs you to fucking cum already so he doesn’t blow a load into his boxers.

Swiveling the position of his hand, he shoves his index and middle finger into your cunt, fucking you with his fingers and stilling his thumb, letting it remain snug inside of you. A strained sound forms in his throat when he starts to feel both of your holes lightly pulse around his digits, knowing you’re getting close. His actions grow more controlled and purposeful, wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking hard, tongue flicking at the swollen cluster of nerves while his fingers scissor inside of you, stretching you more. Finally, you break, a choked wail ripping from your throat as you cum hard enough for black spots to speckle your vision.

Fuck, that’s it. Aki lets out a low groan as a gush of your arousal drips down to his tongue, licking you clean until you’ve finished riding your high, only removing his mouth from your overstimulated flesh when he’s sure the peak of your orgasm has passed. He slows the pace of his fingers when your aftershocks begin to subside. His gaze remains locked on to the way your dripping pussy accepts his fingers so easily, like it’s been waiting for him.

He wonders to himself if it would accept his cock with the same eagerness. In fact, he thinks that if he doesn’t pull his dick out and bury himself in you right now, he might actually die. But, he’s not in his current position due to lack of control, so instead he reluctantly slides his fingers out of you and wipes his mouth off onto the sleeve of his shirt before gently freeing your wrists from the constraint of his belt, tossing it to the floor.

A small huff of laughter leaves his lips when you let your arms fall limply to the bed, clearly not making any effort to lift yourself up or move in any way. Carefully wrapping his arms around your torso, he lifts your form effortlessly, hooking his forearm underneath your knees. He drags you with him as he moves to lean against your headboard, trying not to wince at your weight against his still-hard cock when he sets you in-between his legs, encouraging you to lean your back against his chest. Your panties are still loose around your knees, but you’re so blissed out you don’t care enough to do anything about it.

You sit like that for a few minutes, quietly. Aki idly traces the marks around your wrists, pink and angry from being restrained, trying hard to calm himself down so his dick doesn’t stab into the small of your back. While he’s sure you’re probably exhausted after that, the silence in the room is palpable under the weight of what he’d just done to you, and he can feel his heart start to race, both panicked and stupidly turned on.

His stomach bottoms out when he feels you lean forward, already missing the warmth that slowly leaves his chest from the absence of your body. When you angle yourself to look at him, he swallows. Your face is bright red and your lips are pursed. Warm, glossy eyes continuously darting from his face to different points in the bedroom, like it would be painful if you let your gaze linger on him for too long.

“Listen, this…” Aki pauses, clearing his throat. His eyes soften as he watches you. “This doesn’t have to mean anything,” he continues, expertly concealing the hint of desperation that threatens to bleed through the calm tone of his voice. “If you want, tomorrow we can act like nothing happened. I don’t-“

“Wait- is that really all?” You blurt out, turning to face him fully. Kneeling in between his legs, your hands splay out in front of you as you lean forward, looking at him directly with wide eyes. “W-we’re not done yet… right?” You ask in a small voice, eyebrows creasing. “I haven’t even gotten to…” Trailing off, you glance down at the obvious bulge in Aki’s slacks before averting your gaze again, a furious blush creeping up your neck.

Aki feels like he might pass out.

It was one thing for you to allow him to touch you in the way that he did, but even the vague suggestion that you might want his dick anywhere near you is enough to make him tremble, his erection straining even more.

Wordlessly praying to whatever deity might be listening that his hand remains steady, he reaches out to lightly grip your chin, turning your head so you’re forced to meet his gaze.

Aki’s pupils are so large his irises look like endless voids. They bore into you, threatening to blot everything out. You inhale sharply when his thumb traces the delicate softness of your lips, encouraging the seam to part for him. Pushing past your lips to press the pad of his thumb down onto your warm tongue, he murmurs your name softly, the sound making you shudder.

“Still feeling greedy?” He asks, shoving his thumb further into your mouth. You nearly gag when he presses hard at the base of your tongue. “Then let me use this pretty mouth of yours.”

Before you can say anything, he’s dragging you off of the bed and down to the floor.

Standing tall, Aki looks down at you hungrily. The bob of his throat is almost imperceptible, eyes tracing every inch of you as he undoes his pants.

“Kneel properly. And take that shirt off,” he orders. “Let me see you.”

As you pull your shirt over your head, Aki finds the sheepish look on your face amusing. His face had been buried in your pussy minutes ago, yet you’re looking up at him like a blushing virgin. He knows better, his trained eye falling to the fluttering of your pulse point and the way the rising and falling of your chest has quickened. The corner of his mouth quirks at the image of little hearts forming in your eyes, like one of those dirty graphic novels Denji leaves lying around.

Exposed like this, your nipples harden immediately. It’s different than earlier. Now you have to see his face as he drinks you in, forced to bear witness to the way his eyes darken even further, looking at you like he’s trying to keep himself from eating you alive. A hint of smugness lurks behind the hunger, like he’s getting a kick out of making you squirm.

Kneeling before him, you impatiently push his hands out of the way. Aki stifles a hiss when you begin nuzzling your face against his clothed hard-on, making his cock twitch.

His mind is whirling, a myriad of conflicting emotions battling each other, the strongest one being jealousy.

The way you pull his slacks down just enough to place wet, hot kisses along his shaft through the thin material of his boxers. The way that you tease him, just barely grazing your fingertips along his length while you lavish attention to his balls, the feeling of your damp breath against him making precum dribble from his tip before you’ve even pulled him out.

You’re experienced, clearly. Of course you are. Aki isn’t that delusional to assume he would be your first for anything, let alone something so simple. Shit, even high-school students go further than this.

Still, he can’t stop the intrusive thoughts of someone else being on the receiving end of your practiced devotion, flashes of that damn cop’s face invading his mind. A suffocating flood of anger fills his chest, and in this moment, he truly believes he could bring himself to strangle the life out of Hasegawa if he sees him again.

The feeling of your warm mouth against the bare head of his cock propels him back to reality, his blue eyes snapping down to watch you. He sees your pink tongue dart out to swirl around the sensitive tip, the feeling making him bite back a groan. The soft sound makes you look up at him. Demure, a deviant form of adoration shining through like you want nothing more than to please him.

Aki’s heart twists. You’re perfect.

Tangling his fingers in your hair, he roughly pulls your head back. A sick feeling of possession overwhelming him as he cranes your neck, exposing the fragile column of your throat. Gripping his cock with his free hand, he presses your face closer, smearing a bead of precum across your lower lip.

He’s going to erase the trace of anyone else, even if it hurts.

“Open your mouth.”

There’s a startled look on your face at his sudden actions, but you comply, opening your mouth wide for him and letting your tongue hang out, a string of saliva dripping from the tip.

Fuck.

“Good. Now take a deep breath for me.”

You barely have time to register Aki’s words before he plunges himself into your waiting mouth, the fat head of his cock brutally stretching the tight entrance of your throat, giving you no time to prepare. Gagging violently around him, you try to pull away but his grip in your hair is firm and unyielding. He pushes himself even further inside, only stopping when his balls are pressed up against your chin.

You grab at his thighs in panic, feeling your lungs constrict from the lack of air, unable to make any noise of protest other than a pitiful, wet choking sound. Your silent pleas are met with complete indifference; Aki doesn’t seem concerned in the slightest. He’s not even moving, just holding your head still, watching you intently.

When your vision gets spotty and your ears start to ring, he finally pulls back just enough to where you can take a deep inhale through your nose. Tears of relief flood your eyes, and gushes of saliva pool past his cock to dribble down your chin.

You’re so beautiful like this.

“Such a mess already,” he remarks, keeping his tone indifferent as he lazily starts sliding in and out of your mouth, using your hair as leverage. “Take another deep breath for me, okay?”

Ignoring the sharp noise of protest you make; he shoves himself into your throat again. This time instead of holding you there, he ruthlessly pumps in and out, the feeling of his cockhead being squeezed over and over again making him groan audibly. The sight of tears spilling down your cheeks makes his balls tighten, and he has to pause so he doesn’t blow his load, soft pants escaping his parted lips.

Catching his breath, Aki’s gaze searches your flushed face.

Despite all he’s been putting you through, you’re looking at him so sweetly. Breath coming out in shallow bursts from your nostrils, you warm his cock in your mouth, patiently waiting for him despite your obvious exhaustion. The dark circles under your eyes are more pronounced now and he catches the slight shaking of your bent legs. He’s learned after watching you all this time that you won’t quit, you’ll keep going until you drop. Even if you made a big show of being under distress, calling him names, hitting him even, he’s certain at this point he could do anything he wanted to you. In the end, you would take it.

His gaze softens. What a stubborn girl you are.

Sliding out of your mouth, he crouches down. You’re breathing hard, lips pink and swollen from dragging up and down his thick shaft, shining in the dim lighting. Cupping your face in his hands, Aki wipes a tear away with the pad of his thumb. When you ask him why he stopped, he laughs quietly.

“Come here.”

Pulling you closer, he envelopes you in his arms, burying his face into your neck. He’s holding you firmly, but there’s an unmistakable tenderness in the way his hand slides up the bare skin of your back to cradle the back of your head. Maybe it’s how tired you are, or how weird this fucking 24 hours has been, but something about it brings fresh tears to your eyes. Your trembling body melts into his, and you return his embrace with the same intensity, gripping tightly at his shirt.

Not wanting to be called a baby for crying again, you press your face against his shoulder, but Aki can feel the warmth seeping through the cotton. He clutches you tighter, murmuring into your ear. “I’ve been a little hard on you, huh?”

Even though you shake your head, Aki knows he has. Uttering your name softly, he speaks again, fingertips tracing up and down your side. “It’s alright,” he soothes. “You can get angry. Yell at me, hit me if you want.”

When he feels the bottom of your fist lightly hit his back, he smiles. “Can I see you?” You shake your head again, face still firmly pressed into his shirt. Aki snorts. “Come on, I won’t make fun of you.”

Reluctantly, you relax enough to let him pull you away from his shoulder. Air shoots out of Aki’s nose when you glare at him in embarrassment. Your eyes are red, face wet with tears and drool, hair wrecked from his rough handling. You’re a fucking mess, and his dick has never been harder.

“You are just like a little kid, aren’t you?” He mutters, unbuttoning his shirt fully, shrugging out of it and using it to wipe your face.

“Knock it off,” you protest, trying to crawl away from him. “You said you wouldn’t make fun of me!”

Laughing gently, he grabs your waist to stop you. “Alright, don’t run off.” He plants you right back in front of him, tossing his shirt to the side and lifting his hands in surrender. “I’m sorry.”

Narrowing your eyes at him, your gaze travels across his toned shoulders, trailing down towards his lean abdomen. Heat returns to your cheeks when you land on his very much still hard cock. It’s thick and long, a pronounced vein running along the bottom of his shaft, the tip glistening with a mixture of precum and saliva. The longer you look at it, it seems to stiffen even more, twitching under your scrutiny. Seemingly in response, you feel arousal leak out of you and you quickly clench your thighs together.

You’re forced to tear your eyes away when Aki tilts your face up to look at him, an amused smirk on his lips. Wordlessly, he pulls you closer and crushes his mouth against yours. Worked up and desperate, you devour each other, tongues scraping against teeth, the sound of moans and heavy panting filling the room. His hands find your breasts, squeezing them roughly, almost hard enough to hurt. Pulling away from your mouth, he starts to aggressively suck at your pulse point, making you gasp. Licking a hot stripe up behind your ear, you feel his breath tickle against you when he asks in a hoarse voice. Still want more?

Seconds later, he has you splayed out onto your bedspread, lapping at your needy cunt once more, the panties hooked around your ankles long gone. You’re already soaking wet and ready for him, but he can’t help himself. Spreading your legs as far as they’ll go, he exposes your clit and presses the tip of his tongue firmly against it, moving in tight circles until you’re crying out from pleasure and overstimulation. Sliding two digits inside of you, he stretches you out, adding a third finger when it gets too easy to glide in and out. When he feels your walls start to squeeze him, he abruptly removes his fingers and mouth from you, making you whine pitifully.

Climbing on top of you, he holds himself up with his forearms. His raven hair tickles your cheek when he dips down to murmur in your ear. “I want you to cum on my dick.” Catching your earlobe between his teeth, he snakes a hand down the plane of your stomach to tease at your swollen pussy. “Can you do that for me?”

When you offer him a silent nod, Aki moves his mouth lower to the slope where your neck meets your shoulder, giving you a firm bite. You yelp in surprise; a deep blush sprouting on your cheeks. “Use your words. Tell me you want it.”

“I-I want it!”

“That’s better,” he mumbles, placing soothing kisses onto the angry teeth marks. Retracting his hand from your slickness, he tugs his slacks and boxers down further before gripping his cock and rubbing the angry tip up and down your slit, spreading your arousal and making you shiver.

Extending the arm holding himself up, he’s able to get a better view when he lines up with your entrance, the heat of your cunt luring him in like a siren. He can feel the tips of his ears start to burn, his heart is pounding so hard he thinks it might burst out of his chest and land onto you with a gory plop.

He’s about to fuck you. After countless guilt-ridden nights of fucking his fist to the thought, it’s happening. You’re underneath him, legs spread, eyes dark with need. He doesn’t deserve this, no one does.

His eyebrows shoot up when you impatiently wrap your legs around him, gently encouraging his hips to dip lower. Aki’s cheeks are a light shade of pink when he looks at you with wide eyes, like it’s baffling to him that you would want him anywhere near as much as he wants you. “Come on…” you whine, eyebrows furrowed. “Do I have to beg?”

He’s definitely dreaming.

Setting his jaw, he sinks into you, cursing under his breath when he feels your walls wrapped around the head of his cock. Gasping, you wrap your arms around his neck, lifting your upper back slightly off of the mattress. He breathes out your name. “Fuck- you’re so tight…try to relax so I can fit it all in, okay?”

Even though you’re dripping wet, your pussy is choking him out, and it takes conscious effort to push into you. Aki’s been holding out so long he’s worried it might only take a couple thrusts before he loses it and paints your cervix.

“That’s it…” he soothes, sinking even deeper. Sensitive and worked up from his earlier descent, your legs tighten around his waist and he can hear you whimpering a string of profanities against his ear.

When he finally bottoms out inside you, he can barely hold back the low guttural noise that vibrates in the base of his throat. The way your pussy coils around him is almost possessive, creating its own form of bondage. He could stay like this forever, buried inside you with your arms and legs constricting around him. Your embrace is so tight, he wonders if you’re afraid like he is. Like if he moves an inch the illusion will be shattered and he’ll jolt awake in his bed, drenched in sweat and heart-wrenchingly disappointed.

Taking the risk, he pulls back, dragging his length halfway out before surging forward again. The low moan that comes from you grounds him, solidifying that this is real and you’re not going to dissipate like smoke in his grasp. Laying you back, he tangles his finger into your hair. Harshly latching his mouth onto your neck, he sets a steady pace, languidly thrusting into you. The soft noises you make fuel the fire in his gut, when he feels your nails explore the plane of his back and shoulders he groans.

Biting and sucking, he hungrily bursts the small capillaries along the curve of your neck. You might be angry with him tomorrow, but he doesn’t care. He wants to create a collar of bruises around your throat, proof to everyone who you belong to. No one can give you the things you deserve like he can, he would happily offer you everything he has if it means destroying the opportunity for anyone else to try.

Blunt canines testing your pulse point, something akin to a growl wracks his chest as he starts slamming into you, the tip of his cock kissing the intoxicating sponginess of your cervix with each plunge.

Breathing hard, your nails dig in to the muscles surrounding his shoulder blades. “Oh- f…fuck!” The sound of your voice spurs him on further, pumping in and out of your sopping cunt with enough force to make any words that leave your lips completely unintelligible.

Tearing himself away from your neck, he nips at your lower lip before sliding his tongue between your lips, giving you a taste of yourself. “You’re squeezing me so much…” he murmurs against your lips, the snapping of his hips never relenting. “Feels good, huh?”

All you can do it let out a pathetic whine.

“Loosen your legs for me.”

Feeling your muscles relax slightly at his command, he coaxes one of your legs to release his waist before hooking your knee over his shoulder. Placing a kiss onto your forehead, he pulls back so he can watch your expression as he drives into you even deeper now. You quickly cover your mouth with the palm of your hand, muffling the sharp cries that are forced out of you.

Aki clicks his tongue.

Blue eyes flashing, he unhooks the leg that still remains curled around him and pushes both of your legs so far back your knees are level with your ears, eliciting a shriek from you that your palm can’t conceal. Gaze locked onto yours, he continues to relentlessly pump in and out of you. Filthy squelching sounds fill the space, your pussy is an absolute disaster and Aki can feel your arousal gushing past his cock, coating everything in its vicinity. His balls stick to your asshole every time they slap against you, making his shaft throb.

Your body is bent and contorted underneath him, breasts smashed together from the pressure of your thighs. Having removed your hand to hold onto his biceps for dear life, he can see the way your pretty lips are parted, ragged gasps and moans slipping out with every thrust. You look so deliciously fucked out; you probably wouldn’t even hear him if he were to speak. Strained with exertion and tinged with an almost painful desperation, Aki’s voice floods your ears.

“You- fuck… you’re so beautiful, you know that?” Pressing himself further against you, your clit grazes the patch above the base of his cock. “Drives me fucking crazy.” Halting his thrusts to briefly grind against you, your eyes roll to the back of your head.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to stretch this pretty little pussy out…” Releasing one of your legs, he angles himself so that his hand can snake in-between the two of you, his thumb teasing your worked up clit. His gaze falls, leaving your face to watch the way his cock splits you open over and over again. “Look at you, taking me so well.”

Aki’s praise, the way his cock drags against your walls and the increasing pressure on your overly sensitive clit has you seeing stars. The pleasure building in your core is white hot, spreading up your spine and giving you goosebumps. You can’t even bring yourself to speak properly, the moans coming from your parted lips are lewd and obscene. It’s too much, whatever’s building inside of you, and your eyebrows furrow in panic and pleasure. Trying desperately to form some sort of coherent sentence, you claw at his arms. Clouded with an insurmountable need, Aki’s eyes darken drastically. His expression remains calm and focused, like he knows something you don’t.

“It’s alright. Just let it go,” he coaxes in a low voice, his motions becoming more intentional and tortuous. “I got you.”

Wide-eyed, you look at him pleadingly, an almost confused look on your face. Shaking your head side-to-side, you’re about to beg him to stop when a scream rips through you, barely making its way past your lips when Aki quickly smothers it with the hand that had been holding your other leg steady. Pussy spasming wildly around his cock, your vision goes grainy and your body turns completely rigid underneath him. Another shriek is muffled against his palm when you promptly squirt all over his lower abdomen.

“Holy fucking shit-“ Aki pants, sucking his teeth. He can’t take it anymore. Apologizing in a choppy voice, he grabs onto your hips so hard it’s sure to leave marks and fucks in and out of you at a frenzied pace, making you cry out so loud he’s certain you’ll be getting a noise complaint.

“Fuck- I’m about to lose it,” he warns, brows knitted in concentration. Your walls are still pulsing around him, milking his cock. When your nails gouge into his back roughly enough to break skin, he can’t stop himself from unloading inside of you, letting out a choked groan as he floods your abused cunt with hot spurts of cum. The sensation is overwhelming and your hands fly to fist into his hair, dragging his face towards yours. Your lips meet in a sloppy, languid kiss as he fucks his load further into you, the pace of his hips gradually slowing as the throbbing of his cock subsides.

Trying not to crush you, he hovers above you on his forearms, catching his breath with his face planted into your neck. He places a gentle kiss behind your ear before slowly pulling out of you and lifting himself up. Weakly, you grab at his arms. “Don’t go…”

Aki’s heart swells.

“I need to grab something to clean you up with,” he murmurs, brushing your hair back. “Give me one second, okay?”

Too tired to even open your eyes, all you can muster is a nod.

***

The sound of a sliding door being opened jolts you awake and you sit up in a disoriented panic. Blinking rapidly, you take in your surroundings. Looking down at the plain, off-white bedding pooled at your lap you feel yourself relax a little. You’re in Aki’s room. You feel your face heat up when you realize you’re now in one of his shirts, he even managed to get a pair of his boxers onto you.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” a soft voice breaks through the silence. Your eyes flicker to the source. Wearing dark sweatpants and a gray t-shirt, Aki stands in front of the glass door that leads to the small patio attached to his bedroom, a cigarette tucked behind his ear.

Clearing his throat, he continues. “You were out cold so I cleaned you up and brought you to my room. I wouldn’t have moved you but I needed to, uh… wash your bedding.” Palming at the back of his neck, a hint of pink spreads across his cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

“Can I come with?”

He blinks. “Outside? It’s cold, are you sure?”

You nod. After slipping out of his bed, your legs are shaking like a fawn and they give out on you almost instantly, you crumple to your knees with a thud. You glance over at Aki with a stunned look, mouth hanging open. When you see him fighting back a self-satisfied smile the skin on your face feels like it’s going to burn off and cross your arms over your chest. “Whatever it is you’re thinking about saying, don’t.”

“Wasn’t gonna say a thing.”

It’s starting to get light outside. Aki can hear the rattling cry of a crow somewhere in the distance, followed by another. Taking another drag off of his cigarette, he watches the tendrils being pulled away with the breeze. He feels you stir in his arms and he tightens his hold on you. You’ve fallen asleep again, bundled up in his blanket and curled up in his lap.

Just like a cat, Aki thinks, wrapping his lips around the filter of his cigarette again. If he doesn’t move a muscle, he can hear the slow, steady rhythm of your breathing. He drinks in your sleeping face, smiling gently at the way your cheek pressed against his shoulder. Still asleep, you nuzzle even closer to him. Something spreads through his chest, syrupy and decadent, like honey warmed by the sun.

He could get used to this.

-END-

[hoe4rairai]

Raian with Friends & Family 👥️

Requested by @aneenasevla

▪︎ let's be honest, Raian doesn't have friends. His feral nature, type of life he is leading and the lack of emotional and social intelligence. He knows one thing only, how to kill and destroy

▪︎ Fast forward, he's now around 27/28 I guess so I hope after his Grandpa's death he'd become little grounded and tasted how it feels like to loose someone he secretly cared for.

▪︎We also established that Raian is an Introvert mostly, so connecting with ppl other than those who prepare his missions at the back office isn't a habit of his.

▪︎ Raian, only considered one person to connect with and that was Ohma and still is. Not out of appreciation per se, but out of inner respect and as a kure, it runs in their tradition to respect strong challenging opponents.

▪︎Raian and Ohma, are mostly training together, yes they do have side conversations, tease each other. Raian mainly pick at Ohma and give him hard time.

▪︎ Will Raian ever be loyal to Ohma ? the answer is yes and no.

▪︎ Raian is an assassin from a ruthless clan his loyalty will always be to the clan #1 any one else can die or go to hell he couldn't care less.

▪︎With Ohma, apparently his only acquaintance, he will consider being there for if needed or if he felt its needed. Anything related to destroying count him in.

▪︎ Raian is possessive and the jealous type, so If ohma has another group of ppl he would hang out with or a GF , Raian will hate it and will make sure he'll speak filthy about them, make trouble and cause inconvenience to anyone . That was few years back

▪︎ Raian now, has a huge responsibility on his shoulder that even his friendship with Ohma is on a stop-loss till he get his revenge.

▪︎Raian knows Ohma is there for him and the clan because they allowed him to live among them and be part of them,however; he is very distant now, training non stop , have no time and had grow bit mature, so I hope .

▪︎ In Festival seasons, Raian would occasionally enjoy some Saki or beer pints with the clan , the firework, he's not a fun killer. Few years back he would had ended with fights after each and every celebration just for fun, now he is hardly ever seen socialising at all.

▪︎ Fusui his sister, she is probably the only one who has full access to him. Knows his moods and his where abouts, his missions and she does check on him every now and then. He sometimes answers with a ( F*ck off ) or keep her on read and send her the middle finger emoji , his way of telling her he's in an ok mood or doing fine.

▪︎ the time he didn't respond with 24hrs, Fusui gets worried. Listen guys, Raian is an Asshole we all know that but he's a rare treasure to the clan and he's a big ass stupid idiot trouble maker baby who might be going through hard time after grandpa got killed. I feel he's been in an inner conflict for some time now.

▪︎ Raian will either mature or becomes a nightmare unstoppable and unattainable.

▪︎ I Hear you asking about his parents: not sure but I think they dropped his case with his first ever kill. They don't hate him they just believe and certain that Raian is war God and they probably just like the rest of the clan members, know he'd destroy anyone who'd try to speak up or trade the Clan secrets or jeopardise their Safety. THAT RAIAN NO ONE SHOULD SEE .. lucifer himself will dethrone himself and run straight to hell saving his ass from Raian.

RAIAN & Gifts 🎁:

▪︎ He basically rips the cute nice ribbon apart , has an annoying look on his face, without much though given to the gift he picks it up from the box look at it : ( WDF IS THIS ) no thank you and no consideration. Just throws it away in hopes he'll use it one day.

▪︎ At school , Raian had few crushes but he crushed them back quite literally when the girl used to approach him shyly with his birthday gift but instead he slams her to the wall push her with his body, lift her skirt teasing her, grab the gift , opening it fast, looking at it , through to the ground , laughing at her crying face and walk away. Still for some reason girls at school liked him a lot ...

▪︎ fast forward, the only one who gives him gifts is YEP YOU GUESSED IT FUSUI ...

▪︎she buys him gifts everytime she goes on a mission, expensive perfumes, showr gels, expensive knives sometime, she gets him a branded trainer, she knows his size.

▪︎ Did he ever got her anything ? The answer is

NO NO NO

▪︎instead he always gives her his Credit Card .. that's what he does for her and she's okay with it.

▪︎ Raian as an assassin he earns so much more than her .

▪︎ Surprisingly though; I think Raian do have great taste , basic, clean with a twist. He never shops he only goes online to certain stores picks something he likes throw it at his sister face and still calling her a bitch 🤣

▪︎ Christmas and Gifts : let's not be delulus , Raian purposely choose a mission to get away from all the gatherings that annoys the shit of him.

▪︎ he comes back and he has gifts laying on his bed, he secretly gets excited and has a tiny little smile.

▪︎ he would probably receive a gift from Fusui, Holies, karura, the school girl crush who still with a hope and I guess few more from the close clan relatives, his mom will try to hug him but Lord his eyes and the way he'd look at her sents her back to her seat ...

I hope you enjoyed it 🤗😚

[the-fiction-witch]

Serenaded

Media Nowhere Boy

Character Paul

Couple Paul X Reader

Rating Smutty!

I lay in bed, a wide smile across my lips. 

My body lay on the squeaky old mattress, the springs rough and slightly spikey, the soft cotton sheets layered and cradled around my warm bare body. The soft pillow laid under my head with the cotton cover over it red plaid the same as the duvet cover but that was mostly covered by the grey blanket. The room was set up as always with most of the faded wallpaper covered with posters and magazine cutouts of guitars and songmen, and various people of note that... I'll be honest I didn't know by their faces but I'm sure I would if I heard them, and then on top of those where notes and papers, lyrics and cords that I'm not sure I'd ever understand all written on ripped mismatched paper, some with lines, some with girds, some with flower boarders, but all with the same handwriting having scribbled away the notes needed and a colourful push pin forcing it in place.  Clothing littered the wooden floor and the old faded rug my own and his mixed in a medley of cotton, silk and wool. The Ceiling above me had a sweet scallop pattern to it letting shadows dance around it. The door to my side locked up tight for the evening and I knew a signal had been put on the outside, a do not disturb for those in the know, The window at the end of the room let light flood in, the early morning sun still an orange flow not yet enough to force the sun through the clouds, with the curtains blocking a fair bit but not all of it. The curtains blocked by the body of a figure sat at the little metal stool for the desk, his movements causing the dancing shadows of the room. The ticking of the bedside clock and the water moving in the pipes of the house sounded as inconsequential as the plucking, plinking and strumming of the guitar strings that came from the foot of the bed. 

I smiled as I turned a little clutching at the sheets to keep my body concealed as I looked at him, 

He sat there barefoot his feet on the rug, wearing only a pair of cotton boxers long enough they reached his knees lose around him with three or so buttons down the front, his trade mark guitar in hand his bare chest pressed to it as he cradled it in his arms, for a moment I was almost jealous to see how he held it, how he stroked it, how he pushed himself against it without a need to conceal himself, but I knew how foolish such a thought was. His callus fingers worked on the strings to make the gentle sounds, his face closed as he listened in, his eyes barely even fully open, his hair in its usual parting and slight quiff but messy from being in bed as well as the marks in his hair where he had greased it yesterday not removed it before bed and I, of course, had ran my hands through it almost leaving him with tracks in his hair from my nails. 

I giggled, a little as this beautiful song I was listening to him play... 

It occurred to me...

He was tuning the damn thing. 

He heard my giggle and looked up almost like he forgot I was there and a smile broke across his lips.

"Hiya Love."

"Hi, Paul," 

"You sleep alright?"

"Mhm..."

"Good," He smiled and he blew me a kiss across the room, so I blew him one in return. 

"why am I such a lucky girl?"

"Humm?"

"Why is it I get you to sit a the foot of the bed and serenade me a sweet song as I wake."

"Serenade?" he chuckled, 

"Mhm..."

"Because I love ya," he shrugged, 

"I love you too," I giggled, "But still, why do I get serenaded?"

"You like being serenaded?"

"I do,"

"Then that's why Love." 

"Will you play me a song?"

"Oh? Of course." He smiled, "What would my lady like to hear this morning?"

"Anything you like," 

He smiled and began to softly play a sweet song, his foot tapping along like his personal metronome, his fingers moving artistically and skillfully down and across the threat board strings, to create the sounds that sounded almost LP perfect. It only made my heart freeze up listening to him play for a good while, and I softly sang along with the song for him. 

Until the song was over, "You sing so beautifully,"

"I do?"

"You do, You could be a headliner with that voice and a standing Mic you know that." he smiled crossing his arms over the guitar and leaning his chin on his arms, 

"So could you, with just a mic, and your guitar."

"You flatter me Love."

"I mean it,"

"I know you do, so do I."

"I'm not a singer, and I don't wanna be."

"No?"

"No."

"Alright, if that's what you want love," he said, "But... One day you have to promise me, you'll let me write a song, I'll play, you sing, and you let me record it."

"Knowone will listen to me-"

"I will. That's all I want it for, just for us to sit and listen to. Even if no one else ever hears it." 

"You mean it?"

"Course I do,"

"I'd like that,"

"Alright, I promise. So long as you promise me something, Paul?"

"Ohh? Go on then."

"You'll serenade me waking up, from the foot of our bed every day."

He smiled, "You got a deal Y/n,"

I giggled opening my arms, he smiled and set his guitar down on its stand before he came and crawled into the bed looming over me and wrapping his arms around my waist, I stroked my own across his neck and into his hair pulling his lips down to mine, I happily kissed his sweet lips and he kissed my own with the same loving attentiveness as always, but as the kiss only intensified over time our grips on one another tightened and as any young people locked up in their rooms would, things turned... Intimate. 

My fingers knotted with his hair tugging on it slightly, stroking the soft skin of his neck, his hips rubbing on my own as his boxers tightened and his stiffness grew, his hands that had begun at my waist began to explore forcing the sheets away from us and wonder squeezing my ass and even fondling my breast as we kissed, till he pulled back a little. 

"I think I wanna be serenaded by you now love," He cooed rubbing his nose on my own,

"Ohh? I'm not sure I'll be able to serenade you as well as you serenade me." I giggled, 

"Ohh you'll serenade me perfectly love, I'm sure of it." he smirked as he moved down between my legs and began kissing my clit holding my thighs and stroking his callus fingers across my tender skin, 

"Ughhhh!" I moaned twisting my fingers in his hair fully aware I was about to be making an utter melody for him... 

[hellcifrogs]

To be completely honest I'm with anon on this one, in the manga/anime the whole Indra-Asure thing is indeed referred to as a reincarnation cycle of their chakra and soul together

That's also the reason why there was such a huge gap between Hashirama-Madara and Sasuke-Naruto, their souls are meant to always reincarnate together and Madara threw that off by using the ugly huge statue (I don't remember the name of it lmao) to keep himself alive longer than he should have

And in fact we see Madara let himself die after Obito comes back from Rin's death with the Mangekyō active, and like a couple years later Sasuke and Naruto are finally born as the new Asura-Indra reincarnations

They also stated that only someone from the Uchiha and someone from the Senju clan can be reincarnations, but I guess Naruto is somehow related to the Senju through Kushina from after Mito married Hashirama? Anyway, Naruto is so full of plot holes that it makes swiss cheese jealous and for the love of my own sanity don't even let me start on the bullshit that is Edo Tensei and its bullshit rules

This does seem to fit with the story timeline and wouldn't be weird if this is the case... I just don't see it like that mostly because Naruto is not Senju, so to me it doesn't feel right.

Btw swiss cheese of plot holes is now my favorite description for Naruto! 😭🤣