#but also begging him to stay away from chromedome

[wortsandall]

okay so like lets talk about this...2k words of prowl analysis. mostly from mtmte 27 but also just general observations. i dont even know where to put a keep reading but just be aware this is long:

prowl has major issues. like i get him fr fr. but he's got problems. and the most important is his perspective. he doesn't trust anyone. he can see the capabilities of a scenario. he's a rule follower to an extent. sometimes rules are made to be broken for the greater good mindset. he isn't really close to anyone. they all find him grating in some way though they appreciate his skills. he's good at his job. i feel like because of this he thinks he's always right. and thats dangerous.

he always sees the bigger picture. the next move. like pieces on a chessboard. he sees the next big fight and how they respond. he looks down on those that can't seem to do that. bumblebee especially. but also...chromedome

because theres two scenarios here in mtme #27...either prowl is just really mean deep down. or he was trying to put himself on the same level as chromedome so that they can make up.

for the first option: prowl is unintentionally mean. he's sarcastic and blunt and honest but not malicious. what he said sucked but i don't think it was intentional. he sucks at talking to people one on one. outside of his position in command, outside of war times. normal day to day conversation is not his forte. so i don't think he intended to walk up to chromedome and blame him for what happened. i think he was trying to compare. put himself on the same level rather than say to chromedome that things going bad on cybertron was his fault, because chromedome had left that opening in his head allowing decepticons in. he does have a focus on the fact that chromedome removed his memories left him open to decepticon control. he mentions it twice. so i think he is bitter but trying not to show it and failing

for the second: he was trying to say basically that they both lost things. lets put our differences aside. but he goes about it so stupidly and without context of where chromedome currently is. prowl says first thing, the memory stuff. the memory stuff that chromedome is making a valiant effort to no longer do. and then he compares it to losing rewind. and thats when chromedome snaps. but chromedome was already in a bad mood. i mean i get it. from chromedomes pov-overlord was on the ship bc of prowl, bc prowl couldn't take no for an answer and tried to manipulate chromedome (and succeeded) into doing what he wanted anyway. he put overlord on the ship and told the rest to get chromedome to do what he already said no to doing when he's compromised. bc prowl knew that chromedome is essentually an addict to this memory stuff and would fold. which is exactly what happened. and the overlord thing is what KILLED rewind. chromedomes partner. and prowl walks up and basically says that they're the same. they both lost things-prowl his memory leaving him vulnerable and chromedome his partner. but its not equivalent to chromedome. and its too flippant, too casual of something to base a reunion on.

its clear that prowl is NOT over chromedome in anyway. that first conversation where prowl tried to get chromedome to look through overlords head is filled with jealous ex energy. snide comments about rewind and then threatening him. he basically provoked chromedome into taking prowls memory. he was trying to protect rewind and himself from prowl.

in prowls pov, it looks like chromedome snapped. that he got mad and wanted to hurt prowl for what he said which might be true to an extent. but prowl started that confrontation by not taking the no and trying to manipulate and threaten him into saying yes. prowls inability to let sleeping dogs lie is why rewind died. and still when he showed up and chromedome basically said he didn't want to talk to him, he pushed on anyway. once again.

and then is hurt by the realization that chromedome is more like bumblebee than himself. that chromedome is focused on the fact that his partner died rather than the big picture. of why prowl needed to know overlords memories. of what that could've done for the cause. because prowl doesn't work like that. he's too busy looking forward to see the mess he leaves behind. and he sees what bumblebee and chromedome do as a weakness.

and its hypocritical. because at the same time he keeps bringing up the consequences of what chromedome did. that it left him vulnerable. a personal thing just like rewind. he'd argue that its about the decepticons using his body to create chaos instead of peace but the reality is that its both. he is still mad at chromedome-a personal feud. the same thing that he's accusing chromedome and bumblebee of having too much focus on.

prowl NEEDS to learn how to focus in. to not see everything at once but small things. he overlooks the things that hurt people for the greater purpose of winning the war. but with the war over, where does that leave him? alone. and he will stay alone because he uses people. he manipulates and uses people. he makes comments on their decisions, unasked for. he patronizes and judges and it keeps people at a distance.

i think the one person he ever loved was chromedome. and he thinks that because chromedome didn't erase him that means he still cares. when chromedome erased his other partners because of how much he loved them and how much it hurt. in reality, chromedome meant more to prowl than prowl did to chromedome.

chromedome is the type to get along with others just because. he listened to shit he didn't care about just because someone else did. thats probably how they got close in the first place. but thats not sustainable. they're different people. prowl didn't even want to fight, he wanted to leave. and he just assumed that chromedome would follow. that was probably their downfall. chromedome had reasons to stay, people he cared about and such and prowl was willing to leave them. because the greater good doesn't care about personal attachments.

so they broke up and chromedome moved on. but prowl didn't. he watched from afar. and every chance he gets to show back up in chromedomes life he takes it. because of this misunderstanding of chromedomes motives.

his hurt at this rejection. another one showing that chromedome doesn't even want to resume being semi friendly like they were before hurts. he wants to hide behind impersonal truths like that chromedome lacks perspective. but in reality he had hoped there was a future for them that just needed rekindling and he didn't realize that chance died the day he asked chromedome to look at overlords memories.

and the altercation that follows and it being broken up by ultra magnus didn't help. because what ultra magnus said is objectively true. that prowl makes decisions that others carry out and he never has to deal with the consequences. the biggest most obvious one is overlord which killed pipes, rewind and two others. prowl counters with it being war. that decisions have to be made but it doesn't contradict what magnus said at all. its almost an acknowledgement of that. its not purposeful or malicious but that's war. people die. and its hypocritical for magnus to be upset at him for it when magnus has had to do the same. he tries to be flippant but magnus is hurt. he almost DIED himself that day. he would've. and it was because of prowls actions. so both prowl and magnus are correct here. but once again it shows prowl's inability to come to terms with peoples motivations or their emotions. he defaults to logic and the greater good, while most people talk about whats personal to them. but prowl doesn't know that magnus almost died that day. but im unsure if that would change his response.

magnus parting words are interesting too. he says that he's glad prowl has company because prowl is the loneliest person he knows. and thats true. prowl isn't close to the rest the way that they are with each other. yet he was upset when bumblebee questioned if they were even friends. they spend a lot of time with each other yet prowl spends most of that time crtiticing bee. he probably thinks he's being helpful when it comes across as overbearing. i think he overestimates his value to the rest of them. in his eyes they are friends, even if he knows they aren't close. but in everyone else's eyes its hard to tell. because there is no work prowl and friend prowl. he's one prowl 24/7.

but thats a lonely life to live. and the constructicons trust prowl because now he is a part of them technically. they've seen his memories. they understand each other. and thats essentially all he has left. and so i think it hits doubly hard. that prowl has never really had people to lose. before he had chromedome to lose and he lost him. but most of the time he's alone, and he doesn't know how it feels to lose close people. every one hes lost has been to war-he knows that reality. he signed up for it. probably adds to why he doesnt get bee or chromedome. people die thats war. and its cold but not necessarily unfeeling. i think he does feel bad that rewinds dead. not enough to recognize his part in it, but because he can see that chromedome is upset by it. and that makes sense. they were conjux. but prowls never really had anyone like that. except chromedome. so yes its good he has company. but at the same time i think magnus was also saying that its good that he has people to lose. that maybe he can understand where the rest of them come from. when they talk of their petty feuds rather than the bigger picture. its sincere but its also a damnation.

i think prowl is a really lost person. he's thrown himself so fully into the job that he's lost how to be. how to exist among others without purpose. without some grand plan and back up after backup plan. until he learns how to loosen up. how to live in this new era...he will keep losing people. the first to go was chromedome. thats not fixable, not for a long time. but he doesn't have to lose anyone else. he just has to learn how to change. how to adapt. ironically, he needs to transform.

and the constructicons:

he hates them so bad. bc he hates decepticons. and he was forced with them-into a gestalt of sorts. and now hes stuck with them. they seem to think they understand him, that theyre similar. which prowl hates because he doesnt want to think like a decepticon or be seen as one. when in reality hes one of the autobots who is most similar because of his affinity for the ends justifying the means. the bigger picture. he hates how megatron excuses his actions bc its needed for a united cybertron, but he makes the same excuses. its probably projection. something he doesnt want to acknowledge but its something he cant help but see.

and the constructicons put it out onto the open.

but he doesnt want hero worship from them, no. he wants to be left alone. he's used to being left alone. and now he's got 5 idiots following after him. but this should be a good thing for him. to learn how to navigate people. but instead it leaves him a little unstable. they bonded because they all hate spike. and now thats driving him. i havent read anything past dark cybetron. i have no idea what hes doing next or whats going on. but i feel like its not going to go well. and its because he cant let go. he lives in the past-constantly spouting off about what each person has done. while leaving his own sins off the table. it was war and they did what they thought they had to. and that logic applies to both himself and megatron and the decepticons he so hates. but he doesnt see it that way because hes stuck ruminating over the past and all the lives lost.

[petitelepus]

A Simple Femme In Beast's Suit, Part 4

Apparently, I had forgotten to post part 4 here in Tumblr! What an idiot I was, forgive me, my dear Readers, this was purely my fault. Enjoy the late chapter!

Swerve yawned and stretched his arms far above his helm. Last night at the bar was a long one and he had to stay extra late to clean up the mess Whirl left behind after his latest bar fight. Swerve should start to charge him for every cube he broke or smashed against someone else’s helm.

The minibot sighed as he made his way to his morning shift. He should probably ask from Ultra Magnus if he could change Swerve’s shift to midday so he could recharge a little bit longer after a long night working and serving the ship’s crew.

Swerve was actually so deep in his thoughts that he didn’t notice another mech standing in the middle of the hallway before he had walked straight at them and successfully knocked himself on his aft.

”Ouch! What the—? Who’s blocking the hall, people are walking here and if the hall is blocked they won’t be able to walk and get where they are going and—” Swerve lifted his helm to look who he had bumped into and was intimidated into silence by enormous dark figure over him.

His mouth was going, but no sound came from his mouth. There was a humanoid figure so tall that its head almost grazed the ceiling, it’s pitch black form sucking all the light around it and the eyes. The split crimson gleaming eyes stared straight through Swerve’s chassis and into his spark. He recognized those eyes, he saw them in his nightmares.

”M- m- mon- mons…!” Swerve stuttered in horror as he struggled to back up. He had to let everyone know that the beast had escaped. Everyone was in danger!

”Wow wow wow!” Came a loud yell from behind the dark figure and Brainstorm appeared from behind it. Swerve had to warn him, maybe he could stun the monster or run and call captains to help! ”Brainstorm, i- it’s the monster! It’s out!”

”Oh Swerve! I didn’t see you there! What are you doing on the ground?” Brainstorm asked, just noticing the small mech. Before Swerve could answer, Brainstorm walked up to him and offered his hand for him. ”Here, let me help you up!”

Swerve shakily took the flyer’s hand and the mech yanked him up with one quick yank. As soon as Swerve was on his pedes, he jumped behind Brainstorm. ”How can you be so calm, there is a monster right behind you and we need to let others know before it kills someone!”

”Blazy? Nah, Blazy wouldn’t hurt even a Decepticon!” Brainstorm laughed, nimbly removing minibot’s servos around his waist and walking up to the dark creature standing before them.

”Down girl.” Brainstorm ordered jabbing his servo downwards sharply. The figure silently crouched down until its head was just above the scientist’s own.

”She’s kind and tame as cybercat! Aren’t you, yes you are, yes you are!” The mad mech baby talked to creature twice as big as him, trapping its head between his hands to ruffle and nuzzle his forehead against its own. The creature growled and Brainstorm just ruffled it harder and Swerve was sure it was going to hurt the scientist, but it actually closed its eyes contently.

Swerve’s spark was pulsing double the speed it should be, but as Brainstorm kept petting the creature, the minibot slowly calmed down and his fear ebbed away. That’s when he noticed that it wasn’t a monster before him, but a very large Cybertronian femme.

”S- she’s a femme?!”

”Of course she is!” Brainstorm laughed and let go of her in order to introduce the mechs to each other. ”Swerve, allow me to introduce you to Blazebite! Blazebite, this is Swerve. He’s our metallurgist and bartender!”

”Swee… lug?” The big femme questioned very slowly. Swerve felt his fans start up. Her voice was absolutely gorgeous. It was primal, sultry and it had this unknown accent in it that promised wonders beyond mere Cybertronian’s imagination. As Brainstorm proceeded to explain to Blazebite what a metallurgist was, Swerve took in her appearance.

She was enormous, probably as big if not even bigger than Fortress Maximus or Overlord. She had to be to hold in her former wings, tail and beast’s limbs.

Her armor was a mix of different shades of black and grey. It was ragged and primal looking armor, nothing like Autobot’s frame was. She had a crown of sharp horns grown from her helm, a pair of gleaming crimson optics that carefully followed Brainstorm’s hectic hand motions, sharp servos much like Cyclonus’ owns hanging limply on her sides and crimson biolight linings running between her armor plates.

If the minibot looked more carefully, he could see the unique shape of her optics, fine nasal ridge, pretty lips, and amazing frame’s figure and chassis like no other he had seen before.

Swerve wasn’t sure if he liked it, but he couldn’t deny it. Blazebite was hot.

”—and that’s what Swerve does! He’s also a bartender that takes care of mechs and serves them drinks of engex!” Brainstorm finished explaining Swerve’s job to a very confused femme who tilted her helm. ”En… eks?”

”It’s a drink. You drink it and it makes you feel funny and usually happy.”

”Unn… ny?”

”You’ll get to know a funny feeling once you’re old enough to drink. I’ll take you to Swerve’s then for your first drink.”

Blazebite didn’t ask any further, but she did growl shortly as a way to say yes.

”Um… Brainstorm? May I have your attention for a moment? If that’s okay with you?” Swerve asked. The mad flyer made a quick spin and threw thumbs up at the metallurgist. ”Go ahead! I do love explaining things to a certain degree!”

”Why is she so…?” How could he say it nicely? Stupid would have been too harsh. ”Slow?”

”Aaah, well, I asked Chromedome to reboot her and wipe down all her memories. She’s at the same level as a giant sparkler at the moment, but no worries! With my genius guidance, she will grow quickly into a great crew mate for us!”

They had her rebooted? Meaning she didn’t have any memories left from her life as a giant killer monster? She had no memories of choosing Swerve as her mate or even giving him… oral pleasure?

Swerve was so happy! Now his nightmares and fears about her breaking out could end! No more fear of shame that someone found out about their interfacing or how he was begging and crying for his life. This was his chance to continue living normally! There was only one thing reminding him from that day and that thing’s red optics stared right at him.

”So, uh, we are you two heading? The bar is closed now just so you know, so there won’t be many drinks now and so on? Do Rodimus, Ultra Magnus or Megatron perhaps know about her so no one starts wrestling for their lives again…? We wouldn’t want that happening again!” Swerve tried to crack a joke of the situation as a sad excuse to cover his slight nervousness.

”I was asking Rodimus, Megatron and Ultra Magnus to come and see her, but she wandered outside while I had my back turned. Might as well take her straight to them. Wanna join us? You can show them that Blazy is completely harmless!” Brainstorm asked as he grabbed giant femme’s helm and dragged her down to look at Swerve.

The metallurgist shivered, not really wanting to have anything to do with the former monster, but the way Brainstorm was looking at him meant that if he was going to refuse then the flier would manipulate him one way or another to join them. With a heavy sigh, he nodded. ”Fine, I’ll come, but I won’t be happy about it!”

”Awesome!” Brainstorm squealed and started pushing Swerve towards the bridge. Blazebite walked close behind them, making Swerve feel like she was there to make sure he wouldn’t escape.

When they entered the bridge, all eyes were on them. Swerve could see Rodimus’ optics widen when he saw the pitch black giant hovering over minibot and flyer, Megatron’s optics flickered and Ultra Magnus’ lips tightened.

Swerve swallowed as he and Brainstorm walked in, but when it came to Blazebite’s turn to enter, she actually had to squat down to make it in. She was halfway inside when she straightened up and accidentally banged her helm straight into door’s hinge, hard enough to create a huge dent on it.

Swerve was scared by the sound and jumped far away from the Brainstorm and his guinea pig, only to see the big femme crouching on the ground and holding her helm. The minibot was shocked to see that Blazebite was shaking, her armor rattling against itself. Rodimus, Megatron, Ultra Magnus, and Swerve shared a confused look with each other, but Brainstorm was horrified.

”Oh frag!” The flyer cursed and just as soon as he said that, Blazebite started to sob and then outright cry. It started with a couple quiet hiccups that evolved into crying and wailing out loud. Her screams of pain pierced through every mech’s audials like the spikes DJD used to torture their prisoners. Couple cubes that were holding energon shattered under her voice and the captains appeared to be worried that her crying could even crack ship’s windows.

”Brainstorm, make her stop!” Ultra Magnus ordered over her screeching, but Swerve doubted that he heard him. Heard or not, but the scientist quickly sprinted to Blazebite and started to pat and pet her.

”Shh shh shhh!” Brainstorm shushed, but to make her hear him he almost had to yell. ”It didn’t hurt, you’re a big girl…! You just got scared, didn’t you? Didn’t you?”

Blazebite was still crying, but she stopped screaming her helm off and just cried quietly by herself now. Swerve and others sighed in relief and they lowered their hands. Brainstorm made her look at him, her red coolant dripping optics locking with his golden optics.

”Hey now, look at you! You’re a big and strong girl! Watch!” Brainstorm patted the top of her head, minding her horn crown. ”See? You’re fine! Big girls don’t cry when they destroy something! They cry when they’re disciplined for destroying something!”

Brainstorm kept talking her through her little fit, but more he blabbered nonsense the more she calmed down. Blazebite finally stopped crying and only sniffled and occasionally hiccupped as she tried to wipe her optics clear. After she calmed down enough to move, Brainstorm helped her up on her pedes and walked her to captains and Ultra Magnus.

”Captains, Magnus and Swerve, may I introduce you to Blazebite! Blazy, these two are our captains and this is their right-hand! Whatever they say, you must do it, unless I say otherwise!”

”Brainstorm.” Ultra Magnus warned.

”Never mind, you do what they say.”

Blazebite looked Brainstorm quizzically and slowly moved her gaze to three most powerful mechs in whole Lost Light. She looks at Rodimus for a long time, probably intrigued by his bright paint job and flames, but once their optics meet she’s taken aback by the suspicious glare Rodimus was giving her.

She looked over at Ultra Magnus and she was immediately intimidated by his size, even if she was bigger than he was. His dead serious look also frightened her. Blazebite actually backed up behind Brainstorm’s back.

If she thought Rodimus or Ultra Magnus was bad when she was in for a surprise when her optics landed on Megatron. The former warlord didn’t make any attempt to hide his gruff appearance or ever so sweet personality. One look from the grey mech and Blazebite whined like a kicked puppy and kneeled, trying to hide her big frame behind scientist and pressed her face against his back. The sight reminded Swerve a little bit of old Cybertronian cartoons where characters would try to hide behind something smaller than themselves.

The trio of mechs in charge looked at each other in confusion and then at Brainstorm and Blazebite behind him.

”Is it… afraid of us?” Rodimus asked.

”SHE, Rodimus. It’s a she.” Megatron said and looked at her slumped form. ”And she appears to be at least intimidated by us.”

”A great change since our first meeting when it was another way around.” Ultra Magnus noted and Rodimus scoffed. ”Speak for yourself, I was never scared! Not even once!”

Megatron rolled his optics. ”Whatever you say Rodimus.” Then he turned back to Brainstorm who was gently petting Blazebite’s head, minding her horns again. ”What have you learned from her?”

”Nothing that I haven’t already told you. She doesn’t hold any memories from her former life in the wild and she’s as clueless as a sparkling, but you probably noticed that already!”

Everybody nodded and shared a look between each other before looking at Brainstorm again. ”What is your plan of proceeding with her?”

Brainstorm shrugged. ”I don’t know, but I have many ideas! I could start by teaching her the basics of lasers, then time and space continuum, then—!”

”NO! No more time shenanigans! No more! We had enough of that when you pulled your latest time travel stunt!” Rodimus said and stomped his pede on the floor, scaring Blazebite. ”As your captain, I’m ordering a proper Autobot raising for her and you are in charge of making sure she doesn’t turn out as crazy as you!”

”You’re asking me to do the impossible and I know a lot from impossible, I do it all the time, but this is beyond my brilliant abilities! She’s bound to grow into a genius mastermind like me!” Brainstorm screamed.

Yeks, Swerve wasn’t sure if he wanted another Brainstorm, A GIANT Brainstorm, running around the ship and creating crazy and extremely dangerous weapons. Scratch that, he was sure he didn’t want that. He had to do something!

”Not to bother, too much at least, but I have an idea, small, yeah, but it’s still an idea, right, ain’t it?” Swerve spoke after a silence too long for him. He regretted it immediately as everyone turned to look at him and not like he hated attention, but Blazebite was also staring at him and it made him nervous.

”Uuuh, why don’t we all participate in her raising? I mean, there are many great guys all over the ship and they could all help her grow! Like, Velocity could teach her first aid, Nautica can teach her to dance, Rung could help her to listen, Chromedome and Rewind would make a great couple and Skids! Skids could teach her anything!” Swerve put extra weight on other mechs on the ship, as in, not him!

Everyone seemed to think about it. After a good moment of silence, Rodimus smacked his fist against his hand and smiled. ”That’s a good idea! Everyone get to take turns with her and teach her things! Since it was your idea Swerve, you get to start!”

”Wait, what!? T- that’s not what I meant, not at all!”

”Don’t be so modest Swerve! If I remember right, you didn’t even have a roommate ever since Red Alert left! It’s perfect! She gets to learn and you get a roommate you always wanted!”

No! This is not what Swerve wanted! He wanted to be as far away from the former monster as he could be, not live with it!

”Rodimus, you’re ignoring the fact that Blazebite held Swerve as a hostage. This isn’t easy for Swerve.” Ultra Magnus said.

Swerve sighed in relief. He could always trust Ultra Magnus to be the voice of reason. He wouldn’t let the minibot go through anything that could further damage his mental health or make his trauma any worse.

”I agree. Swerve must first be fine with this.” Megatron declared. Primus bless Megatron and how he was the smart captain. Swerve never felt happier to have the former Decepticon as his captain.

”I think he should start taking regular psychiatric meetings with Rung to speak about things that occurred at Ovika 1.5 and to overcome them.”

Swerve took it back. As much as he might have needed some alone time with Rung, he didn’t want it to be about Ovika 1.5! It would be far too embarrassing for him to talk about!

”N- no, I couldn’t, I don’t want to bother other, besides I don’t have time, I have a bar to tend at nights and daily shifts around the ship and—!”

”Your health, just like every other crew member’s, is important to us. I will personally arrange every other day meeting with Rung after breakfast for you to take. You don’t need to worry about time at Rung’s office, you can take all the time you need to heal as long as it doesn’t disturb other crew members.” Ultra Magnus said as he walked up to Swerve and put his hand over metallurgist’s shoulder.

Swerve was heartbroken. ”But I—!”

”This is an order and there are no objections.” The blue giant said and the minibot knew it was the end of the conversation. ”To help you overcome what happened, Blazebite is going to join your sessions under Rung’s supervision. With Brainstorm’s permission, he will prepare a kit for her and she will move to your quarters tomorrow.”

Everyone turned to look at Brainstorm and Blazebite. The scientist was left without attention for too long and was now sulking at the side with the big femme poking carefully his wing in childlike fascination.

”Brainstorm?”

The flyer glanced other mechs over his shoulder and when he realized that he had all the attention in the room again, he bolted.

”Of course! I make sure everything is ready by tomorrow! I only want what’s best for Blazy! That, and I want to do routine check-ups on her every three days! Nothing serious, but great success for science!”

Swerve was horrified. He was going to live with a giant mech that kidnapped him, orally pleasured him and nearly killed his friends. What force on space could swear to him that she wouldn’t one day regain her memories and go on a rampage!?

Ultra Magnus, Rodimus, and Megatron changed couple words with Brainstorm as Swerve thought about every horrible outcome if Blazebite went wild. But then he thought about it harder and he realized that nothing bad could happen!

There were over two hundred mechs in Lost Light, all of them able to take care of themselves and protect others. She couldn’t possibly beat all of them! Swerve sighed in relief as he calmed down and Brainstorm prepared to leave the bridge. Just as minibot was about to smile for the first time that day, Blazebite gave him a curious look as she was walking past him, going after the scientist.

”Swee…?”

And with that, all the reassurance was blasted into space dust.

Swerve and his stupid big mouth.

[spockandawe]

So, Kaput.

You guys, I think we’re all out of good boys. There are no more good boys to be had. Because I’m pretty sure Kaput needs to join Terminus in gay baby jail.

Behind a cut for length.

And also let me start by saying that I love this. I didn’t have a way to get emotional purchase on him before and now I do. That being said. This is going to start from a suspicious place. He’s had little enough screen time that the build from zero to >:O wouldn’t be that satisfying. But my goodness do I have receipts to back me up.

Okay, so who even is this guy? Well, mostly we don’t know. He was around in the background here and there, heavy emphasis on background. But we do particularly see him show up in the text stories that go with Last Stand of the Wreckers. And there’s one especially interesting tidbit.

Kaput was the one who said Ironfist was a dead man walking, and he said made that call ‘too quickly for Ironfist’s liking’. Okay, not that suspicious, it’s totally understandable that Ironfist would be upset about this and not want to admit that he’s really truly dying a slow, inescapable death. But what do we hear later?

Um??

So that’s two doctors saying as sure as anything that they could have saved him. Not that there might have been a chance, they’re saying they could have done it. First Aid isn’t even technically a full doctor when we meet him on Delphi, he’s a nurse (just demoted because of the autobrand-examining fixation and the psych evaluation, but hey). And just look at the other injuries Ratchet repairs. Look at the scope of the war and the crazy injuries any medic would have been exposed to. Even if Kaput didn’t know how to do it, couldn’t he have sent the info to… any other doctor? Anyone?

This is an awfully suspicious call to make is all I’m saying.

Pure ridiculous speculation: Ironfist got that injury developing the cerebro-sensitive bullets. And when those were done, the ethics committee nixed them, saying it would be a war crime to use them in almost any situation. And we also hear about the Gideon’s Glue inquiry, where another horrifyingly deadly creation of Ironfist’s was somehow leaked to the Decepticons. We even see/hear about the aftereffects of that mess in the section with Rung and Flattop. Ironfist was right at the middle of these two projects, and when an accident happened, a doctor was like oh, yeah, you’re definitely dying, this is super untreatable.

I don’t want to say that someone told Kaput to let him die (especially if Brainstorm was doing design work at the same time and got off scot-free), but this is interesting and just begging for speculation to happen.

But! Back to canon. The first thing in the comic that Kaput does is roll on in and pick up Anode after Tailgate accidentally, uh, impales her. The first time we hear him speak is when she’s waking up.

You took her stuff? My first thought is that hey, not cool. My second thought is that no, if he’s going to operate on her, he’d need things to be out of the way, that’s fair. But look at his own words. It was a nasty wound, but localized. He was operating on her stomach. Why was it necessary to take things out of a compartment by her shoulder? And we don’t see anything to suggest he emptied those compartments conveniently right there for us to see on her hips. Mister doctor man, why are you meddling with your patient’s personal possessions?

(Especially when those possessions just so happen to tie conveniently to his own medical area of expertise and lead conveniently to exciting medical experiments involving the personal possessions he was meddling with)

Now, a lot of the Terminus meta meant looking at his words and actions outside the framing that made it so easy to see him as a decent guy. Then the bitterness and his controlling ways really show up. But even without context, Kaput is so nonthreatening and friendly and helpful. He spends all his time helping people! But let’s look at the way he just wedged himself RIGHT into the middle of the narrative.

For an awesome look at some of the thematic elements of the story and Kaput’s role in them, you should definitely check out the meta by @sunderedstar written here. It’s super interesting stuff. I’m less good for thematic analysis. I’m better at compiling discrete events and looking at them like hard data. So that link has storytelling and fairy tales. But what I’ve got is that when you pull the screencaps together, by LL07, Kaput has lodged himself in every single major thread of the plot we touch on.

(pedantic: except for the two whole panels worth of chromedome and rewind talking to rung)

He’s in the middle of the Anode (+Lug+Velocity+Nautica) tangle.

He’s most of what Brainstorm and Nightbeat talk about in their very brief appearance.

He’s at the center of the action with Ultra Magnus and the armor, which brushes up against the rest of the old ship officers.

And my goodness me is he involved with the Tailgate stuff.

Remember, this is a rando who we’ve barely even seen before LL02. Even Megatron didn’t invade every storyline quite that extensively when he joined the crew. And he’s Megatron. This is just… Some Guy.

But what’s weirdest is just how… central he is. Not just that he’s everywhere. But suddenly there are three urgent medical events, plus two minor ones, and they all go to him. There are piles of new mechs on this planet, and the only ones who get any attention at all in all of LL07 are Kaput and Fangry.

This is slightly out of order, but check out this panel again.

Nightbeat is brilliant. It’s his thing. And not only did Kaput beat him to the punch in terms of trying to decode the flowers, he landed on an answer before Nightbeat even started working on the problem. Brainstorm even calls it ‘stealing his thunder’. Kaput is seriously at the center of everything.

Anode grabs this random stranger and is immediately down for her one and only shot to try this complicated, tricky blacksmithing thing she’s never done successfully before. No prep, no getting to know you, just damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead. Which… is honestly pretty in-character for Anode :P

So this is the storyline where his presence is most understandable, and Velocity and Nautica staying out of the mix with the blacksmithing procedure is understandable too. But this is honestly the medical subplot where he has the least presence as a person. He does give Anode the feedback from the monitoring equipment, which is what she uses to adjust her blacksmith… thing, but not much past that.

Minimus Ambus, why are you bringing your armor problems to Kaput?

One, you’ve known Ratchet since forever. Two, Ratchet already has very thorough knowledge of how your armor works. Three, you were surprised he had this knowledge. Why are you going to Kaput over this?

This isn’t even a spark-related issue, your best guess is physical damage, why did you bring this to Kaput?

Um. And why are you so distressed at the idea that Kaput isn’t coming with you? Why are you pinning your hopes on him? You have two medics already. You have an impressively high medic concentration. Ratchet is an expert in everything, he’s demonstrated that he has longstanding knowledge of your armor, and you trusted him enough in MTMTE 40 to tell him about the little figurine that you thought was meant to mock you.

Yeah, this all is kind of… weird.

Kaput didn’t really do anything suspicious during the blacksmithing procedure. But first, from a narrative perspective, that was way too easy. Lug’s doing fine physically and mentally and she has most of her memories, and Anode patched things up on the trust/communication front right away? I don’t trust one tiny little bit that things are happily wrapped up on the Lug front. And also, oh my god, just look at that wording. Lug is doing improbably well? I’ve never seen anything that suspicious in my entire life (I love it).

Nautica, why are you bringing your eye problems to Kaput?

You also know two other medics. Who you have known for longer than him. One of them is the Chief Medical Officer and is an expert in all the things. And the other one you’ve been friends with for years and you just, just finished amica-marrying her. Why on earth are you bringing your medical problems to Kaput??

And also… her eye wasn’t injured, as far as the art went. Her face was injured, but her optic was always drawn looking intact.

So this is also pretty weird.

And now we’re in the land of incoherent. What on earth is even happening here. I guess armor… could be designed that way, if you really really wanted to, and put a lot of effort into developing a ‘personality sensor’.

But like, just look at those words. ‘Personality sensor’. That sounds ridiculous.

And this is a suit that has been worn by many people over the years, presumably people with different personalities. But. All of them have had to let their own personality be subsumed by the single continuous identity and legacy of ‘Ultra Magnus’. Designing this armor to require a strong, consistent sense of self sounds like the worst possible idea.

That’s apart from how everyone was in a long war, and folks have been getting screwed up left and right. Admittedly, Cybertronians have been a little slow to the punch with the whole mental health care thing. But shellshock, come on, people have been able to recognize at least some signs of PTSD for a long fricking time. The people wearing this armor. Are in a war. Where sufficient trauma can pretty severely screw up your mind, your sense of self, your conception of who you are.

Let’s make the armor dependent on being calibrated to sense one specific personality before it’ll work! That can only end well.

And anyways, I can’t see Ultra Magnus’s thing here as anything but unhealthy. Whatever was up with the armor, I don’t think an aggressive return to black-and-white thinking is at all healthy. He might be mobile now, but this isn’t good for him in the long run. He had a whole quiet personal crisis over this exact thing before, and now he’s being nudged in the opposite direction.

Also, Minimus Ambus thought there was a physical damage problem with his armor, and then Kaput comes right back and says that nooo no no it’s definitely personality-sensing magic. I mean science. I don’t know what to think, but I do think it’s suspicious that Kaput was examining the armor and then it stopped working even harder than before.

First, it worries me that Tailgate is putting blind faith in someone’s good intentions again. The Getaway thing is still pretty fresh. He and Cyclonus just had a mini-fight about Tailgate getting close to other people when Tailgate was trying to push him away. But then he turns right around and trusts Kaput just like that.

(Given his responses when he’s told about the dangers of this treatment, I do bet it’s at least partially because he’ll do anything to fix this problem, so he stops being a danger to Cyclonus. But he also is prone to thinking the best of people, and it’s come back to bite him multiple times)

Wait, what?

Okay, Cyclonus coming to Kaput to tell him about Tailgate, and telling him to treat Tailgate’s injuries, that makes sense.

But Cyclonus told Kaput that Tailgate had an abnormal spark?

First of all, the super strength originated with a traumatic event. The other people affected by the spark spasm suffered eventual negative side effects. It only makes sense that mister epicenter here would eventually have some problems of his own.

Cyclonus said it was like Tailgate was trying to claw out his own spark, but that doesn’t exactly match these words. Blaming an abnormal spark… the connotations of ‘abnormal’ make this sound more like a birth defect. Not a recent development. And Cyclonus is usually very good about deferring to experts and trusting their experience and knowledge in their own field. We just saw that last issue with Brainstorm. He handed off Killmaster’s wand, said ‘I’m sure you can figure this out’, and… trusted him to figure it out. This doesn’t sound like him.

I am a fan of fixing up Tailgate, but wow, what a convenient, immediate offer of a solution. Buddy, you haven’t even examined the guy yet, there’s no evidence you read Velocity’s reports on the original issue, and I don’t trust you at all when you talk about Cyclonus saying it was totally this thing, this is definitely what’s wrong. You haven’t even looked at him and you’re saying ‘hey, check out this convenient offer of assistance!’

I don’t trust you.

You haven’t even examined him yet and you’re talking about depowering his spark? A potentially fatal procedure? When you haven’t even looked at him?

And also you just said you might be able to find a solution, but now the solution is totally to depower his spark? You’re moving the goalposts so fast that I missed that completely on the first writeup of this meta.

Oh look, Kaput hasn’t told Tailgate anything about what’s going to be done to him.

Also, “inescapable.” So much D:

More things Kaput never mentioned to Tailgate.

Oh my god, he didn’t even tell Tailgate how long the procedure is supposed to take.

Moments before you enter this impenetrable box that is barely larger than you, let me just tell you that you’re going to be stuck in there for six solid months with no food, no nothing. Just you. Alone.

I also didn’t tell you about the slow painful death part until after I built your underground radiation coffin

Good lord, that wouldn’t be comfortable for a day, never mind six months. Why not build it large enough for like. A bed and a chair? Space to stand?? This is creepy, bro.

Oh my god, he never even told Tailgate whether or not he’d be able to talk to anyone for those six solid months.

I’m not happy about the situation Fangry sets up for Tailgate here. However, I am also not terribly distraught to see Kaput’s decapitated body.

But for the last bit of medical sleaziness, look at Kaput just casually leaking patient info to some rando who wandered into his office and decided to cozy up to him.

I pretty much understood what Terminus was aiming for, once I went back and reread. I am totally lost when it comes to Kaput, but wow do I not trust him.

And I don’t trust that he’s gone either.

Kaput told Anode some weird stuff about how there can be bleedover between a spark and a brain. Kaput’s brain is… nominally gone.

But you know, it’s remarkable. It’s like I can remember something from the long long ago days….. Almost like a few issues into MTMTE we met a doctor who seemed like a decent guy at first, then turned out to be extremely not-decent. It’s almost like we saw that doctor very-probably die. And then he came back later and he very-probably died again, this time complete with a missing head.

Lemme just--

Hm.

We see Rung, Red Alert, Metroplex, Whirl, and (it’s gonna happen) Pharma surviving having their heads blown up, or their brain modules severed from their spark for a period of time. Whirl survives the soft termination in the holiday special. Windblade took Metroplex’s brain on an adventure without worrying that he was going to die right away. We hear Cyclonus reference Rossum’s rule of thirds, which seems to tie back to how long a spark can survive while being severed.

Kaput worked in a research facility where they did theoretical work, but also developed new technology for use in the war. He worked alongside Brainstorm, mister mad science. He’s a spark specialist, he’s a medic, and it’s extremely speculative (but also extremely plausible) that he tried some things out on himself. Things like maybe a built in emergency spark support system. Or relocating his brain module from that obvious, vulnerable head down into somewhere in his more-shielded torso.

And now, let’s get silly and speculative about writing techniques, because it’s fun and I live for this kind of thing is why

All covered by the end of season one (except the Brainstorm thing that got cut off), pretty straightforward once you know how the story goes. But now. For fun. Recalibrate to look at the time-traveling warning message in terms of where the Lost Light at the end of season two stood before everything went to hell.

Abort the mission. Do not leave Cybertron. - Or, abort the mission, don’t leave the Lost Light?

Don’t open the coffin. - Don’t open the Necrobot’s pods?

Don’t let them take Skids. - I’m snickering, but I feel very bad about it

Don’t go to Delphi – Random chill side quest to another planet early in the story that goes right to hell? So... don’t go to functionist!Cybertron? (we even learn that Tarn Glitch lives there)

Do not—I repeat do not—look in the basement – Don’t look in the basement… of the planet? :DDD

And for the sake of the Cybertronian race itself, don’t trust Brainstorm – You know, I left this off at first, since it didn’t show up in the original issue one message. But given Nightbeat’s joking comment about Brainstorm breaking the rules of science. I’m just going to slip this in here too. Brainstorm accidentally an alternate dystopian timeline, I am sure he can find even more havoc to wreak. He broke the space-time continuum, maybe he can break physics next!

I’ll freely admit that I love to play with conspiracy theories, and I sure know how to stretch a point, but this really took less stretching than I thought it would to make it fit. Plus I am very suspicious of how similarly Kaput and Pharma make their entrances into the story. Oh hey actually, you know what, the Delphi arc was also when Tailgate and Cyclonus had their first big clash, and it ended with Cyclonus hitting him, kicking him, and leaving. And this time, Cyclonus was the one on the defensive, and Tailgate made him leave :’) Just noticed that. But also look at this panel from after time traveling Tailgate leaves a time traveling voicemail.

Every one of those bad things they tried to warn about had a net positive outcome. Season one and season two of MTMTE also started off with a giant pileup of everything happens so much, but there are always things that are terrible in the moment, but play critical positive roles in the future. The winning conditions in the future wouldn’t be possible without the disasters of the past, and the big climaxes in this story are always wonderfully crafted. So I spent a lot of the early comic being disoriented and confused, but history does suggest that this story foundation being laid out now is going to make for a glorious whole.

But back to Kaput! Basically I trust him about as far as I can throw him (and he is a unicycle man who is two stories tall), and I also am extremely skeptical about him being dead. It’s driving me crazy that I can’t tell what on earth he was up to. The way the narrative distorted around him was bizarre, and I want to know what he’s trying to accomplish. Terminus was friendly and affable in company, until he decided to start being a dick in private. There have been plenty of assholes in the Autobot ranks. There’s no reason to believe other people who came out of the pods aren’t also controlling users who know how to keep up a good public face. Especially with the Pharma parallels, I am very unwilling to believe this is Kaput’s real face. I’m dying to know more, because I sure don’t trust what he shows us on the page.

[notwhelmedyet]

fic: You and Me and the Devil Makes Three

…so I locked myself into writing from Chromedome’s point of view in Seeing Double, but there were some things that could only be expressed from Rewind’s perspective. Hence, I’m writing a couple of very short stories to fill in the gaps! This is number 2/3 (I think 3)

While this is a story that takes place in the same continuity as Seeing Double (link), all you need to know is that both Chromedomes survived and that Rewind was kidnapped by the DJD but has now been rescued. Now Rewind and Chromedome 1.0 need to have an honest talk about Rewind 1.0's death.

Read on ao3 (link) or below:

Their knees were close enough to touch. Rewind sat on the edge of the berth, hands wrapped around his body, feet dangling above the floor. This person, who both was and was not his conjunx, sat in the chair he'd pulled to face the bed. Curled in on himself with his chin tucked so he wouldn't have to look Rewind in the eye. Neither of them had been ready to have this conversation, but it was too late to go back now.

"I understand the facts, as you've presented them," Rewind said. "It's the whys that I'm getting stuck on. Why did you go along it?"

Chromedome laughed, a bitter little sound. "That's the question I've been asking myself ever since you...since he died. Not long before, y-he nearly died in an explosion. Some little side trip Rodimus thought up and, you being you, had to go along. Tailgate was trying to diffuse a bomb, but accidentally triggered it."

"Why was Tailgate diffusing a bomb?" Rewind asked.

"It's a long story," Chromedome said, and he could hear him smiling briefly under his faceplate. "You'd have to ask him. But when Whirl and Cyclonus tried to get you two to safety the door auto-locked and trapped you and Cyclonus next to the blast zone. You were fading. And First Aid, he's come up with a way to revive shrinking sparks by jumpstarting them off a compatible donor. I don't really understand. But we're both vitreous positive and you were dying so I volunteered. And it didn't work. Apparently I have so little spark that I really could give you nothing. First Aid sent me away and there was nothing I could do to help you."

Rewind cringed at the way Chromedome had shifted, once again, into speaking of the other Rewind as him, but didn't interrupt. It had been hard enough coaxing him into talking in the first place.

"And that was when Brainstorm first tried to talk me into it. When I was sitting alone in our habsuite, feeling helpless and unable to save you. And I didn't say anything to him then. It turns out Whirl is also vitreous positive, would you believe it? And he volunteered to save you. And you were okay but it was only because of the kindness of Whirl. I just felt so...I don't know. Useless? That I went along with what Brainstorm was offering. And Drift was in on it, and the Captain, and they were all so confident that it was under control. That I was capable, that I could help. And nobody had ever turned shadowplay on me like that, I didn't even think it was possible. So I didn't think to be scared. I just don't know. I wish I could take it back, but I can't ever undo that mistake."

"You want absolution, and you want it from me," Rewind said. "But that mistake you made killed seven crewmembers and nearly killed Ultra Magnus. Drift took all the responsibility and he's been banished from the ship. Rodimus shifted the blame and then owned up. But you and Brainstorm have never told anyone what you did. You made a mistake, yes, you know that. But the other mourners were never even given the decency of knowing why their friends died."

"You want me to confess to the crew?"

"I don't want you to do what I tell you to do. I want you to listen and understand and then decide what the right thing to do is for yourself."

Everything he said was on thin ice. Everything. If he pushed too hard, he'd snap him. If he didn't push, this stubborn, obstinate, thick-helmed gearstick would never understand. But his duplicate, the other Rewind, he'd forgiven him. And he didn't want to betray the other Rewind's last wishes by letting this Chromedome stay mired in the past.

But how would he have felt to be replaced? Rewind tried to imagine himself, gone, forgotten. And then replaced, not by some other mech, but by some alternate version of himself. It was a variation on a theme, one of his closest held fears. Someday, he will live without you and they will make him happier than you ever could. He didn't know how he would feel and, more importantly, he couldn't know how the other Rewind would have felt. They weren't the same person.

Rewind sighed, and tried to figure out how to put all of that into words. "He forgave you, even if he didn't have all the facts. I'm not him. I can't be him for you. So I can't step in and arbitrate absolution in his stead. We're different people."

"I know you keep saying that. But we've spent three million stellar cycles together. The time since the ship took off is the tiniest fraction of the tiniest fraction of divergence in our shared histories."

"That's true. And it's complicated and I understand that that's the way you feel. But think about the other Chromedome. Is he you?"

Chromedome jittered his leg and shrugged. "Sort of? But he has major brain damage. He acts differently because he doesn't remember you. I mean, he's friends with Cyclonus, of all people. And recent exposure to trauma has made him more reflective, I think. But yeah, he's a different person, but only because he's who I'd be if I hadn't had you."

"I disagree. I think that every point of divergence, from the moment that ship took off was shaping you into separate people. Whatever the first thing that happened that was different, that was when you were no longer the same person. The shadowplay, yeah, that's a big reason he acts differently than you. But it's not why he's a different person."

"I can't stop my spark from thinking you're him," Chromedome whispered. "Every time I see you, it's like time stops again and I feel-so, so much. I know that you keep telling me you're different. And I think, in time, I could learn to use the right pronouns. But I don't think I can stop this feeling, even if you reject me outright."

"I don't want you to forget him," Rewind said. "I don't want to be the one who replaces your Rewind, just like all the others got replaced."

Chromedome froze. "The others?"

Oh slag, he hadn't meant to say it. He'd never meant to say it.

But Chromedome just looked up at him in horror and Rewind realized someone must have told him already. "You knew?" He asked. "You knew? How long did you know?"

Chromedome hadn't been the only one keeping secrets. "From the beginning, almost," Rewind admitted. "Prowl told me way back, when he was trying to scare me away from you. I didn't want you to ever know. You already carried so much guilt."

"So you just sat around and imagined me erasing you? He knew too? The other Rewind? My Rewind?" His vocalizer spluttered. "Do you think, did he make that video to try and stop me from-"

"I can't know that," Rewind interrupted. "But I might have. He might not have. I was always so scared you would do it, it wasn't until I was begging my Chromedome to erase me that he could live that I realized I didn't need you to know me. Not as much as I needed you to live and be happy."

Chromedome reached out a hand. "I'm sorry that happened to you. All of it. You've been carrying so much weight for so long. I'm sorry I'm part of what's hurting you."

Rewind laughed wetly, optics heated to overflowing as he took his hand. "I've been carrying your weight for a long time. I don't need you to be sorry and I don't need you to apologize. I just need you to try and respect my boundaries."

"Anything, for you," Chromedome said.

"Well, boundary number one, don't assume we're already conjunxes. We're not. You're his conjunx and his lamentarum. We're different people."

"I'll try."

"And number two, don't rush me. We'll take this one day at a time."

Chromedome vented in a whistling sound, squeezing Rewind's hand. "One day at a time. I can do that."

"And three, I need you to be there for the other Chromedome. He's my conjunx and he's suffering right now. If you feel you owe a bond to me, consider that I owe a bond to him. Right now he blames himself for doing what I begged and pleaded for him to do. He's lost and alone and afraid and he needs more than me to make that right. I know it'll be hard for you, if you can't see yourselves as different people. But loving me, if that's what you chose to do, is going to involve learning to love him too."

Chromedome's optics began to leak and he leaned over to rest his helm on top of their clenched hands. "I don't know. I'll try. If you want me to, I'll try."

And that would have to be enough. Maybe Chromedome could never love himself the way he loved Rewind. Maybe he could never love Rewind's Chromedome, not the way he could. But they were just going to have to try. And maybe it would be enough.

[spockandawe]

sunderedstar asked:

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞ ::::)

Song 2/8. This time, we’ve got Joan Baez singing Lady Gay (lyrics) (a child ballad!!)

And oh man, as an old timey ballad, this song is mostly story, and takes a little explanation to understand. But the idea is that a mother sent her three children away to school, and they all died. She grieves, and she begs God to return them to her, and she makes up a bed for them and sets a table with food. Her children’s ghosts do return, but instead of staying, they tell her that they’re dead and she has to let them move on. This song is lovely, but the ending lines get me every time.

Green grass is over our heads, mother, Cold clay is over our feet, And every tear you shed for us, It wets our winding-sheet. 

Now, Cyclonus and Tailgate and cybercrosis. From a reader’s perspective, Cyclonus obviously cares about what’s happening to Tailgate. He’s been having trouble dealing with it since he heard the news. And Cyclonus is experienced with grief and loss and death in... how do I put this. I’d love to see Cyclonus trying to think through the grief process, in that last day or so. Something like the sentiment of those words in the lyrics, directed at himself. By grieving openly, he’s placing another burden on Tailgate. The idea of telling yourself that your grief is a selfish, that it’s the kind thing to do to detach your needs from the person, and offer comfort without getting emotionally involved yourself. Emotions don’t turn off like that, so it means just internalizing everything. Which brings a whole new set of stresses, but they’re stressing him and not Tailgate, and that’s what counts, right?

I’m also kinda disappointed in how fast the Anode/Lug situation moved along in canon. I know there wasn’t really time to linger, because the plot was packed full. But I wish we’d gotten one conversation before ghost!Lug faded out, with her confronting Anode over the whole thing, with her trying to demand answers and both of them being confused and upset. Because that Lug is genuinely Lug, and not just a complete hallucination, then this is really getting close to the situation of someone’s grief keeping someone tied to the earth, even past their death. I'd really like to see Anode falter for longer than canon has let her so far. I want to see her trying to deal with the idea that the person she love is dead and has been dead and there’s genuinely nothing that can be done about it, for a nice solid beat, before the miracle solution pops up.

Or. A number of characters are uncomfortable with Chromedome erasing his own memories of his dead husbands, because he can’t cope with the grief. Brainstorm even says a thing about how most people never find a conjunx, but has had many, and he loves so hard that he just can’t handle it when his partners die. I’d love to see... a perspective that disagrees with Brainstorm’s emotional response. I’d love to see, say Pivot dying and his ghost lingering out of worry for Chromedome, and seeing him go into his own mind and erase Pivot from his memories altogether. It must hurt, that’s for sure. But I want to see the emotions that go past that, to yes, this-- hurts. But he’d rather take this on himself than see Chromedome suffering. It’s hard to accept that Chromedome would do this to him, but since it did happen, thinking through what would make Chromedome do that and worrying over him without being able to help in any material way, and making some kind of peace with the idea because it might hurt, but it’s better than watching Chromedome hurting instead.

OHHHH. OH. So. There’s that comic out there about the similarities between the names ‘pivot’ and ‘fulcrum’ and what if secretly pivot never died, like maybe he went missing in action and people assumed he was dead, but he ended up switching sides and getting a new name. And then meeting Chromedome in the present day and realizing that not only does he have a new husband, but... he doesn’t remember you at all. Similar to that last entry. Pivot/Fulcrum hurting, hurting a lot over that revelation. But with that same gradual acceptance, that it’s better not to see him suffering, it’s better to see him happy, and if means taking on some of that pain yourself, that’s a price you’re willing to pay.