#lets ask the person afraid of talking to people
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
HOW TO SET BOUNDARIES
1. identify your core values and personal limits, and let them guide your decisions.
2. identify certain traits in people that drain you or traits that you can't tolerate in people in your circle, then limit interactions with these people or activities. ex: narcissism, people who only talk about themselves, people who only come to you to complain, people who ask too much questions about your life, people who always feel the need to have an “upper hand”
3. purge toxic social media accounts and limit exposure to negative online content as over consumption of social media is damaging to the subconscious mind. too much scrolling, too much consumption, too much reading other people's thoughts and opinions, too much looking at other people's lives is a sure way to undervalue what's actually happening in our own personal lives. i don't want to mindlessly consume. it has the power to ruin my moods. it has the power to destroy my self image. my perception of other human beings. and so much more.
4. healthy intellectual boundaries these include awareness around appropriate discussion topics as well as respect for the opinions of others. these boundaries are violated with the dismissal of someone else's thoughts or ideas.
5. practice saying "no" without feeling guilty.
6. create designated alone time to recharge. free from external demands. ex: discernment at the end of the day, meditate, thought diary to acknowledge and label all of the unnecessary thoughts.
7. communicate your boundaries assertively and respectfully to those around you and remain consistent in enforcing your boundaries, and don't be afraid to reinforce them.
8. set strict work-life boundaries by establishing specific start and end times for work.
9. create financial boundaries by setting rules about lending money or sharing expenses.
10. prioritize your self-care and schedule time for activities that nourish your well-being.
#studyblr#studyspo#self improvement#it girl#mental health#psychology#self care#self esteem#college#self love#becoming that girl#that girl#pink pilates princess#university#medblr#self worth#self help#self awareness#boundaries#personal development#spiritualgrowth#spirituality#student#study
71 notes
·
View notes
Text
Nonna Rosa fixes it
Okayyy, it's officially not the weekend anymore, but only for like five minutes, so technically I'm on time! This got totally away from me, and I had to actually force myself to end it where I did. Nonna Rosa took the narrative from my hands and said 'I'll take it from here', and good for her. Not to be dramatic but I love her. Anyway, if any Italian-speaking people read this: I AM SO SORRY. This is all Collins dictionary or Google Translate, I don't speak a word of Italian and I'll be very glad to correct any mistakes you might notice ♥ I hope you guys enjoy it! if you want to know more about Nonna Rosa, send me an ask, I have looots of headcanons for her (and Tommy's childhood). Here you go:
A week after breaking up with Evan, Tommy is still feeling like shit. He can barely sleep, anything he tries to eat tastes like sawdust, and he feels like he’s living on autopilot. He goes to work, he comes back home, he tries to eat, he tries to sleep, rinse and repeat. Nothing else matters, there’s nothing else he feels like doing. He doesn’t answer Howie’s texts asking how he’s doing (he answered the first one, telling Howie not to worry about him, but can’t do more than that); he completely ignores Eddie’s invitation for Muay Thai and basketball, and he comes up with an excuse as to why he can’t make karaoke bar that Thursday. And yet, there’s one thing he can’t put off, as much as he wishes to: talking to his Nonna.
Tommy calls his grandmother at least once a week; she still lives in Indiana, in the same house he spent most of his childhood in, and he knows his uncle Bart visits often. But he likes to hear from her himself. Visiting her was a rare occasion, and the last time he was able to was about four months ago. The minute he had stepped in, Nonna had asked him if he was ‘innamorato’, because he was looking so much happier than usual.
And he knows she’ll perceive his sadness just as quick, if not quicker. The woman has always been able to read him like an open book. She’s probably the only person alive who can; he’s always made sure to keep his layers hidden from everyone else, even from…
Well. Doesn’t matter now, does it?
Fact is, that if he misses his call with Nonna, it’ll be even worse. She’ll know something’s up, and he doesn’t put past her to fly across the country to check on him (he’s always been the favorite grandson and everyone knows it). So it’s best to get it over with. With a heavy sigh, he sits down on his couch (and tries not to think about how empty it feels when it’s just him in there) and rings her up, bracing himself.
“Pronto? Tommasino?” She answers the call, as always with the camera too close to her face, and that at least brings a smile to his face.
“Nonna, you need to stretch your arm a little. Remember, like Charlie showed you?” He asks with a chuckle; Charlie being his cousin’s daughter, Charlotte, who taught Nonna how to FaceTime so she could ‘see Tommasino’s pretty face more often’, in her own words.
She stretches her arm and Tommy gets a good look at her. Nonna looks the same as always, sharp blue eyes in a soft face that’s wrinkled both from age and from a lifetime of smiles. Her hair is wrapped in hair rollers and tucked safely behind a red bandana. Tommy misses her fiercely, and wishes more than ever that he could get wrapped in one of her hugs.
They always did wonders for him when he was a little boy who used to climb trees and get scrapes and bruises; when he was a scared eleven-year-old missing his mother (and as a grown-up he can appreciate Nonna was hurting at least as much as him, having lost her daughter, but still never let it show) and dealing with an angry abusive father; when he was a scared eighteen-year-old, before leaving the only home he’d ever known to join the Army. And when he was a scared 33-year-old man, coming out as gay to his 75 year-old-grandmother, afraid of being rejected by the one person alive who truly loved him, and Nonna had stood on her tiptoes, pulled him into one of those hugs, and told him all she ever wanted for Tommy was to see him happy, and that she would always love him.
A hug from his grandmother had always made Tommy feel like the world was an easier place to be faced, and right now, that’s exactly what he needs. And his longing must show in his face, because she’s frowning at him, her eyes full of concern.
“Oh, Tommasino” She says softly. “What’s wrong, bambino mio? You look so sad” She asks, and to Tommy’s horror, he finds his eyes filling up. Nonna has that way of bringing out every emotion he tries to repress.
“Everything’s wrong, Nonna, and it’s all my fault” He blurts out before he can stop himself, and the look on his grandmother’s face tells Tommy she’d be placing a sizable plate of cake and a cup of strong coffee in front of him if she could.
“You have a habit of saying things are your fault even when they aren't, so I'm afraid I'll need the entire story, my boy” She says gently, and Tommy watches as she sits down by her kitchen table (the same kitchen table where he did most of his school homework, the same kitchen table from where he always used to steal a biscotti while they were still warm), supporting her face in her hand and turning those sharp blue eyes at the phone screen. Tommy swears he can feel them pierce through his very soul. “What happened? Is it your Evanino?”
The question sends a knife right through Tommy's chest as he imagines what could have been. Gosh, Nonna would have loved Evan (who doesn't love Evan, you idiot?, he tells himself), and he knows deep in his heart Evan would have loved her as well. Every time Tommy would talk about her (which he did fairly often; he was a grandma's boy and had no shame about it), Evan would get a wistful expression on his face and tell Tommy that she sounded awesome.
He had been planning on taking Evan with him next time he managed to visit her, not wanting to introduce them through the phone. Now it's for the best he didn't; at least Nonna won't have to miss him like Tommy does.
“He… he's not mine anymore, Nonna,” He admits, his voice thick with emotion. “We broke up”
“What?! Ma comme?! You were so happy last time we talked!” She asked, and of course Tommy was happy; it was the day before their six month anniversary, and he had been so full of excitement. “Was he not happy? Is that why you're blaming yourself, Tomasino?”
A smile as bright as sunshine crosses Tommy's mind. A smile that only started to fade once Tommy told him he knew how it ended. A smile that had become his personal beacon of light in the past six months. A smile he misses like a lost limb.
“He… he was happy” He says, because that much he knows to be true; Evan was happy with him, Tommy made sure of that. His grandmother frowns at that, and Tommy doesn't blame her; the story seems convoluted, feels convoluted, even to himself, and he lived it.
“Thomas, you have to help your old grandmother, because I cannot understand what is the problem. If you were happy and he was happy, then why are you not together anymore?”
“Because he asked me to move in with him” Tommy says, and that doesn't seem to clear the situation for her. If anything, her frown deepens, and she reaches for a piece of bread, fiddling with it; Nonna could never keep her hands still, especially when she was nervous, and Tommy had inherited that from her.
“Does that mean something different when it’s two men?” She asks, completely genuine, and that earns a surprised chuckle from Tommy.
“No, Nonna” Tommy says, and all of a sudden the urge to laugh is gone again; it never lasts long, not after Evan. “It… It means the same”
“Very well, and you said no? That’s why he ended things?” She asks, and Tommy sighs brokenly, the memories of the night no less painful than when it happened.
“No. I… I broke up with him, Nonna. He asked me to move in with him, and I didn’t just say no. I… I broke up with him," Tommy admits with a heavy heart.
“Tesoro, you do realize you are not making any sense? You and your boy were happy; he asked you to move in with him, and instead you broke up with him. Then you show up looking like your heart was broken and tell me it is your fault. What am I missing, bambino?”
“I have a house, Nonna!” He snaps, finally being able to voice the things that have been stewing in his heart and mind since that night. “I have a house, and he lives in a rented loft, and it makes no sense for me to move in with him!”
Nonna doesn’t answer right away. She chews thoughtfully on her bread, letting a small silence fall between the pair of them before she eventually sighs and answers him.
“Benne, you have a point, it wouldn’t make sense. But that isn’t the whole problem, is it, Tommasino?” Nonna adds shrewdly. “You could have talked it out, explained that to him. So what made you walk out of the best thing that happened to you in years?”
Tommy can always trust Nonna to lay things down exactly as they are, no matter how painful it sounds. She’s right, he did walk out of the best thing that happened to him in years, maybe ever, and it’s getting harder and harder to justify that decision to himself.
“N-Nonna, I was… I was falling so in love with him” He tells her, and feels tears starting to prickle the corner of his eyes.
“Yes, I’ve known that since last time you were here” Nonna says impatiently. “That’s not a reason to leave, Thomas; that’s a reason to stay”
“Only if he loved me back” He says automatically, and Nonna crosses her arms, unimpressed.
“And who says he doesn’t? Did you ask him?” She asks sharply, and Tommy sighs. This conversation is taking a completely different route than what he expected.
“I didn’t have to, Nonna. I… I just know it, okay? I was his first relationship with a man. I cannot be the last, that’s not how it works. And I… I thought I was okay with it, that I could enjoy it while it lasted, but… But I didn’t expect to love him this much” He admits, as much to himself as to her. It’s all his fault, really, for falling so deeply, flying too close to the Sun. “I-it’s safer to break my own heart now than to let him do it when I’m way too deep to recover. N-not that I’m recovering all too well, but… could be worse” He finishes, already wiping the few tears that inconveniently decided to rush down his cheeks.
If Tommy expects his grandmother to nod sympathetically at that and coo at him (he kinda does; she has a habit of doing that when he cries), he has another thing coming. Nonna scoffs loudly, hitting the table with her hand, strong from decades of kneading bread. The noise is enough to startle Tommy out of tears.
“Thomas Domenico Kinard, I didn’t know me and your dear Mamma, may God have her soul, had raised an estupido vigliacco!” She exclaims, her hand flailing loudly to emphasize her words.
Tommy will be the first to admit his Italian is rusty, but he’s pretty sure she just called him a stupid coward. And. Ouch.
“Nonna!” He exclaims back, but she isn’t dissuaded. She tuts him with a sharp ‘Silenzio!’ and a raised finger, and Tommy shuts up right away. He knows that when Nonna starts, the best he can do is take the scolding, so he leans back on his couch, trying his best not to look like a chided boy who got caught stealing fruit from the neighbor’s orchard.
“You are my grandson, and I love you more than anything in this world. You are a good man with a wonderful heart, but you have one big problem, Tommaso. You always assume you know people’s feelings better than they do, and then you make your own decisions based on that without actually asking anyone. Remember when you decided I should move to California because you thought I was lonely here?” She asks, raising an eyebrow, and Tommy nods sheepishly. “Do you remember what I told you?”
“That if and when you wanted to move to California, you would let me know, but you were perfectly capable of making your own decisions” He mumbles back, the epic scolding from five years ago still fresh on his mind.
“Esattamente. Now, I think your Evanino deserves the same courtesy. He is not a silly child, Thomas. If he wants you to be his last, if he loves you, who do you think you are to decide that he doesn’t?”
“But he never said he did,” Tommy replies stubbornly. “He… He never even told me he loved me, he just asked me to move in with him. It’s like… It’s like he wanted to prove a point, Nonna. That he could be… committed, or queer, or whatever, I don’t know. But he never said he loved me”
“Did you say it to him?” Nonna asks, and Tommy stares at her with his mouth agape. Damn this woman and her ability to ask the most uncomfortable questions.
“N-no” He admits. “I… I was too afraid of him not saying it back”
“Hmmm” Nonna hums thoughtfully. “That’s your other problem, bambino mio. You think you don’t deserve to be loved. I blame that man for that” Nonna says with a scoff, and they both know exactly who she’s talking about; there’s no lost love between Rosa Lucciola and her ex-son-in-law, Brian Kinard, and the way he treated Tommy and his mother before she passed is the sole reason for it.
“Well, that’s neither here nor there, Nonna” He says with a shrug, always uncomfortable when his father becomes even a small topic of conversation, but she tuts disapprovingly.
“Ah, isn’t it? Has it never occurred to you that maybe your Evanino could have the same problem? That he was as afraid as you to show his heart and have it broken?”
Tommy desperately wants to say that he thought about it, that it occurred to him; but it hasn’t. Evan is such a sunshine of a man, always so prone to smiles and loving gestures towards anyone he cares about, that Tommy never thought there could be insecurities there. Now it makes him feel selfish and stupid (or estupido as Nonna had so accurately called him).
“Nonna…” Tommy says, his mind catching up to everything she said and a horrifying realization dawns on him. “What if he did love me back? Oh my God, did I fuck this up?!” He asks before he can stop himself.
“Language! Do not take the Signore’s name and swear in the same sentence!” She chides him, and Tommy mutters ‘sorry’, but her look is impossibly fond. “But, well. Maybe you did; maybe you didn’t. Are you going to sit around and mope or try to find out?” Nonna challenges him.
“W-what if he never loved me, Nonna? Or what if he did, but me walking out made him stop?” Tommy asks, not knowing which possibility scares him the most.
“What if he still does, Thomas?” Nonna counteracts. “What if he loves you and is too afraid to reach out because you already rejected him once, hm? Someone has to be brave, and he already was when he asked you to move in, bambino. Maybe it was a little impulsive, but his heart was in the right place; it was in your future together”
Tommy realizes Nonna is right. He can’t expect Evan to reach out (he realizes he was at some level, and he would have rushed to it; one call from Evan and Tommy would be right back to his life, ready to reheal his own heart when things inevitably went wrong, just for another glimpse of Evan Buckley’s personal sunshine); it’s his turn to fight for them. It’s his turn to be brave.
“Ah, you finally realized it, hm?” Nonna says; something must be showing on his face, because there’s a satisfied smile on her face. “Fight for that boy, Thomas. Fight for your happiness, tesoro. Prove to your Nonna you are not estupido”
“Nonna, you are most definitely the best person on the planet, and I promise you didn’t raise a estupido. I’ll do right by Evan. By… By me. By both of us” Tommy promises to her, promises to himself. He blows a kiss to the screen of his cellphone, desperately wishing he could kiss her cheek in person. “Ti amo, Nonnina” (I love you, granny)
“Ti amo, nipotini del mio cuore” (I love you, grandson of my heart) She tells him back, and a mischievous smirk appears on her face. “You better bring that boy here to try my rondelli before the year is over, you hear?”
“Dio, I hope so, Nonna” He tells her, and they say their goodbyes before hanging up. Tommy already misses her.
He holds his cellphone close to his heart, wondering if he should text Evan, but decides against it. This is too big for a text, too big for a call. He’ll go over in the morning, probably with a bouquet of flowers or whatever other extravagant gift he can come up with, ready to grovel and explain himself and beg for a second chance, even if it’s only to hear a ‘no’. Even if it’s only to let Evan yell at him and get the closure he deserves. Even if it’s only to get his already shattered heart broken into even more pieces. Tommy has to be brave.
After all, nonna and mamma didn’t raise a coward.
(Evan doesn’t say no. And when Tommy explains, after several rounds of make-up sex, what made him change his mind, he promises to send Nonna a present. The present ends up being him and Tommy, because they go to Indiana for Christmas, and Evan falls in love with Nonna and her rondelli. Just like Tommy knew he would)
-- Tag list (let me know if I missed anyone! also if you want to be removed or only tagged in Little Blobs' Verse):
@bidisasterevankinard @unhingedangstaddict @silversky9 @music-is-the-voice-of-the-soul @asmugfirefighter @rubydaiquiri @racerchix21 @actuallyitsellie (Although here's a lil spoiler - Nonna Rosa will probably show up in Little Blobs' verse cause I'm not ready to let go of her and she'd whack me in the head with a spoon if I didn't let her meet her great-grandchildren)
#bucktommy#tommy kinard#evan buckley#mentioned anyway#this turned out very much into a tommy character study#fix it fic#nonna rosa#gabby writes
68 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi can you do a smut with CEO! Karina and female! reader who is her secretary ?
Karina x Reader
Chinese couch
Late nights.
It was starting to feel a little bit too usual for Jimin to work until night lately. Being the CEO of a worldwide renowned company for sure comes with the prerogative but it was slowly messing with her sleep schedule and nothing good happens when Jimin is sleep deprived.
As her assistant you witnessed it all, her temper slowly getting worst and worst, the number of people getting fired slowly rising up.
Usually you wouldn't say anything, afraid to loose your job and even more afraid to face an angry Karina but it's been days and you're slowly feeling responsible.
It might be a tiny bit because of the S.O.S. looks from all the people getting kicked out that pass by your desk everyday.
Anyway you figured out you might as well try to calm your boss down before becoming the very last person employed here.
So when the clock hit nine, you made your way to her office. Stopping right in front of the door, contemplating whether you should enter or not. After building up the courage, you finally decided to knock.
But of course the door opened wide right when you were about to, revealing your boss in all of her intimidating self. Her face only a few inches away from yours.
"Please tell me you weren't coming to tell me some bad news, because I swear I'm gonna kill myself if anything goes sideways again."
You couldn't help but chuckle a bit at her frown but were fast to remember she was your boss.
"No actually I was coming to ask you if you'd like to eat with me, I'm ordering."
For a second there Jimin was bewildered, not expecting the offer but she was fast to put on her serious face.
"I don't have time to eat I have better things to do."
She was about to go back to her office when you suddenly grabbed the door keeping it opened.
"Chinese it is."
You don't know what's gotten into you, it's like you're trying to get fired.
Karina stared right at you for a minute, probably waiting for you to back down but you didn't.
"Fine."
And with those words she went back inside letting you choose what to order. You settled for a restaurant that was just down the street, hoping it would be delivered faster.
Sadly it didn't, you waited for almost an hour at your desk before the delivery guy came up.
You went to Karina's door knocking on it carefully, not wanting to interrupt a phone call.
Even though you got no answer you pushed the door opened, after all you did warned her you'll be treating her food.
When you entered the room you were surprised not to find your boss in her chair where she would always sit.
She was laying down on her luxurious couch, she probably got too tired to notice she was falling asleep before it was too late.
You set the food on the table before shaking her shoulder to wake her up but it didn't work.
She did not move nor did she said anything. She actually remained so still that for a second you wondered if she might have passed out of exhaustion.
It's only when you got close to her face to see if she was breathing that she suddenly opened her eyes.
"Getting comfortable there I see, you should have told me you weren't talking about food when you ask me for dinner."
You frowned not knowing what she meant until you took a closer look at your position noticing how you were pretty much all over her.
You took a step back and an other just to be sure.
"Excuse me for checking if my boss is still alive."
You tried to play it cool but you knew you were blushing at this point so you turned your back at her to hide your embarrassment.
Her face closed up, the movement upsetting her. She took a hold of your waist, turning you around and getting insanely close to you.
"Don't ever turn your back on me like that."
Once again you don't know what went on your mind because for some reason you couldn't help but to provoke her.
"Thought you liked my backside."
She stare at you before answering.
"Careful sweetheart, I don't like brats."
As you were about to argue back she shut you up, kissing you hard, her teeth sinking into your bottom lip so she could have access to your tongue.
As much as you'd like to resist her, you've been waiting for her to make a move on you forever so you weren't going to back down now.
So you kissed her back, pushing her back to the couch where she has been sleeping except now you were on top of her, kissing her neck.
You would've continued if it wasn't for her switching positions.
"I'm on top."
You couldn't careless all you wanted to do was for her to kiss you right now.
"Stop talking and start kissing."
And so she did, trailing her kisses down your neck to your breast, getting rid of your top on the way.
She cupped your mount, tasting them and playing with your nipples as you tugged on her hair asking for more.
You might have marks of her lips tomorrow because of how hungrily she was kissing every inch of your skin.
As she was kissing your lips again you decided to stop her.
"Wait, let's eat."
Jimin looked at you with confusion in her eyes.
"What do you mean 'let's eat' ? What do you think I was about to do ?"
She was now clearly frustrated as you sat up on the couch ans started unpacking your order.
"You need to eat, you haven't even eaten lunch today."
"Who cares ?"
Seeing her frustration wasn't getting to you she changed tactics, brushing her hand on your thigh and kissing your neck.
It was indeed tempting but as you let out a content sigh, you broke contact.
"Eat your food and maybe you'll have dessert."
Not really a smut but here is a little something -Ael
#girl group#kpop girls#girlfriend#girl group scenarios#aespa jimin#aespa imagines#jimin aespa#aespa#aespa karina#karinaxreader#karina scenarios#karina#yoo jimin#aespa x reader
42 notes
·
View notes
Text
billy remains silent as lucy gray recites the words of this very personal song. the story of her life. she may not be singing but her voice still moves him, his chest constricting some more. he briefly wonders if she’s talking about his brother or maybe this other boy, his namesake, but doesn’t ask. instead, he glances over at her bag, catching a glimpse of orange-tinged silk and feeling horrible about trying to take his mother’s scarf away from her as though she’d stolen it. “may i check ‘em out?” her other songs. he makes no move to reach for her book, afraid he may find even more gutting, heartbreaking pieces there. “why don’t you want to be remembered? it doesn’t have to be about coriolanus. it could be about all the other little girls out there who need a little hope and someone to look up to. don’t you want to show ‘em that birds may be small and seemingly fragile, and evil people can try to break their wings and rip out their colorful feathers, but it takes a lot more than that to truly silence ‘em?” hearing that faint, little okay, billy leans in and gathers lucy gray into his arms with ease. she’s all skin and bones, weighs about as much as a bird, and so it really requires no effort on his end. he uses his other arm to fluff up her pillow and prop her up against it, making sure the blanket remains wrapped tightly around her petite frame. she has to stay warm. he smiles softly when their eyes meet, reaching for the bread and tearing off a small piece, pressing it to her lips. “it really is. but thank you.” her hand reaching for his, touching, his fingers curling around hers briefly, loosely. it takes him by surprise and puts a smile on his face. “that means a lot to me. you won’t regret it, i promise.” letting him be a part of her covey. his eyes light up, a thin thread of trust forming between them. “i’ll help you, lucy gray, but you need to do somethin’ for me. you need to find that strength within you again, that will to live.” without it, the infection may take over with ease. “no, i don’t really believe in vengeance or fightin’ fire with fire. i won’t ever forget what happened to my mom, but nothin’ can bring her back. what’s the point of inflictin’ more pain on the world if it changes nothin’?” a heavy sighs escapes him, but his shoulders lift in a shrug. “look at reva blue, she’s fearless, isn’t she?” he takes the raggedy bear by the only arm it’s got, turning it toward the only window and using a silly, high-pitched voice to say, “you stupid thunderstorm! don’t you dare scare lucy gray again or else!” just trying to humor her, bring some life back to her eyes.
“i do, actually. over there in my bag, i got a song book. i wrote a ballad about things i’ve seen. when i was a babe, i fell down in a holler. when i was a girl, i fell into your arms. we fell on hard times and we lost our bright color. you went to the dogs and i lived by my charms.” talking through the song rather than singing it, feeling no energy to strain her voice that much. i danced for my dinner, spread kisses like honey. you stole and you gambled, and i said you should. we sang for our suppers, we drank up our money. the one day you left, saying i was no good. “besides that, i don’t want them to remember me— i disappeared, even coriolanus didn’t find out if he succeeded in killin’ in me.” unless he’s coriolanus or coriolanus really does have a twin brother and he sent him to find her. the more he talks, the more he acts, the less it starts feeling like coriolanus to where it’s undeniable and unable to be faked. his thumb on her cheek making her eyes squeeze shut tighter, reminding her of the moment in the zoo when he wiped her tears then. after that, he became mostly unaffectionate. since when does coriolanus word things like that? speak like this? peeling her eyes open, she slowly moves her head to look over her shoulder to stare at him. brows gently creased, brain coming to a little bit of her senses, an odd feeling come over her she might be staring at an entirely different person. giving a tiny, “okay.” permission to help her. listening to the story about his family, she feels sorry for him. which is conflicting, because he’s not supposed to be his own person— he’s connected to coriolanus one way or another. “that’s horrible.” gently shaking her head, hand touches his for comfort. “if i make it to see another day, then you can be apart of my covey.” but that may be her fevering already, deciding to be woozy and accept him like he didn’t betray her. “you didn’t turn vengeful against those people?” lucy gray wonders quietly after a minute or so passes. “it just scared me.” but gently nods to let him know she knows she’s safe, she doesn’t know how she feels safe when he never made her feel that way before but maybe that’s just death around the corner. maybe that’s the lord’s comfort. they did say dyin’ was a lot like that, maybe this is it. forgiveness and safety, because the lord’s safety is greater than any one or anything trying to hurt you.
77 notes
·
View notes
Text
TW: mention of social anxiety and stalking
The yandere content that I’m writing is absolutely in no way me promoting this type of behaviour. I do not romanticise it; this is just a way for me to explore the more darker side of my writing. If you do relate to these characters or think that it’s romantic, please seek help.
You are welcome to send asks/requests about my existing characters or others. Just make sure to read my rules.
If someone had ever told you that there was still bullying present, in the final year of high school, you would have laughed in their faces. What kind of idiot has enough spare time and immaturity to go around and mock somebody with exams coming up and university/college applications, while also transitioning into the early stages of adulthood? Well, 13 year of school and there you were, trying to study in class while some asshole kept criticizing your looks, your handwriting, even the fact that you were reading out loud. You didn’t really care for it since you knew he was doing that to almost anyone who would let him get away with it, and frankly, you did not have the energy to tell him off or get confrontational. Plus, one of the reasons teachers let him get away with it is because his parents were also teachers at this school, so how the hell anyone could complain.
So, every day, whenever you would bump into him, you would just continue on with your life like any other day before meeting him. He would just throw insult after insult at you, before moving on to another one of his other victims. But the worst part, was that you barely had friends, only acquaintances that you would talk to frequently, so venting to them about your bully was obviously off the charts. You didn’t need to bother them and risk overbearing them with something they didn’t care about and be the loner of the school.
But then everything changed when you bumped into Devon at the local library. Devon was… a delinquent as teachers liked to call him: he always skipped classes, he didn’t listen to the teacher that he didn’t respect, and he always got into fights (that he never started mind you). But with you ? He was a sweetheart. Well, he was a sweetheart with anyone that didn’t ask for trouble, but it was different with you. He always proposed to hang out with you, help you with homework and such, and after you two became friends, there wasn't a day when your bully bothered you. His friendship really saved your final year !
And it seems like you fixed his attitude in return. Ever since you two became friends, he stopped getting into fights, often times just threatening the ones who asked for one and walking away. He came to school every day, not just for homework and tests, and he never talked back to teachers, no matter how much he wanted to point out their ridiculous rules.
Your friendship got so strong, in fact, that some students around the school theorized that the two of you were dating. You of course quietly laughed to yourself and got embarrassed by the subject. You finally had a friend, a true friend, and you were afraid that these rumours would ruin things for you. Sure, he was handsome enough and had a nice personality but dating him didn’t really seem like something that you would be satisfied with.
“So, [Reader], you and Devon are dating, right ? You two are totally in love.”
It was lunch, you were sitting with Devon and some other students when the dreaded question came up. You could only blush and stay quiet at that, due to your social anxiety, but your friend quickly stepped up to reject the accusation, as he always did.
“Me ? In love with [Reader] ? You're an absolute clown for thinking that.”
He always just got sarcastic responses when he denied anything between the two of you, but you were still grateful that he was decent enough to not joke about it. You had told him countless times how much public attention was making you uncomfortable, especially when it was directed at you by a bunch of people you didn’t really know.
And you thought he would always respect that clear boundary until one day, out of the blue, you’re standing in the school hallway, surrounded by a sea of classmates and others, with him professing his feelings and asking you to date him. He knew how much that would make you uncomfortable, he knew, and yet he still did it. He couldn’t have possibly done it on purpose, right ? Well, he did, he confessed it himself shortly after you two left, as he accompanied you to your home.
“Y-you are an ass… How could you do this to me, Devon ? Why the hell would you do this to me ?”
“Darling-” he whispers into your ear, “You cannot really blame me for this… All is fair in love and war, right ? So how could I ever deny myself the opportunity to love you ?”
After that, he continued to confess to every single thing that he did in order to get close to you. He confessed to stalking you ever since he laid his eyes on you. He confessed on threatening the guy that bullied you so that he left you alone. He also confessed that he asked you out in front of others because he knew you would be unable to say no. And worst of all, he told you that this was your fault for not being able to stand up for yourself, that if you could just suck it up and be normal around people, this wouldn't have happened.
And that got you thinking that maybe he was right. Perhaps this was your punishment for your behaviour. It didn’t make you feel better, though, just made you want to curl up into a ball and cry until it would hurt your eyes. And every single time you broke down, Devon would be here for you, offering his shoulder to cry on, and not so secretly relishing in the fact that he was the only one that could make you feel better. And you could only accept it, because nobody would offer you the same attention that he did, he was sure to make you believe that.
Thank you so much for reading ! Why don't you spend some more time on my blog and look through my navigation ?
#tw yandere#yandere#male yandere x reader#yandere male#yandere x darling#yandere x reader#yandere x y/n#male yandere oc#male yandere#yandere x you#yandere oc#yandere delinquent#yandere imagines
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
To love someone (Levi Ackerman x Reader) Modern AU
Author's note: I did it again. I wrote something no one asked me to and for a fandom most people don't even know I am a part of. So, if you want to, please enjoy this one-shot.
Summary: Petra asks you for a small favor. So now, you have to convince your husband to do something he most definitely will try to avoid. However, your interaction sparks interest in how you are not afraid to ask Levi for things that you know he doesn't like. But he loves you more, and both of you know it.
Words counting: 1942
You were grading tests when you saw Petra leaving her seat and coming towards your desk, but when you raised your head, she was going to the coffee machine. You didn’t have enough time to question her actions and went back to grading. The class was your husband’s and you knew that you had to finish it before he finished his lesson, otherwise, he would stay near you, commenting on every mistake his kids made. However, Petra had other intentions and a coffee put on your desk stopped you in the middle of Sasha’s sentence. You could have ignored your colleague if it was Mikasa’s test, or Armin’s, or Annie’s, because they were easy to understand. However, Sasha… She was a different case. It took you three tries to get what was the thought behind her writings and getting even a little bit distracted made you lose all the comprehension of what was going on. So, Petra had your entire attention now.
“I wanted to ask you for a favour,” the young woman started, while shifting from one leg to another. You tilted your head, waiting for her to continue. “I have a driving exam this Friday morning and I won’t be in time to give my lesson. So, I’m searching for a substitute teacher,” Petra explained and pushed the coffee she brought towards you.
Something was strange. You were in a good relationship with all your colleagues, and you even considered Petra as one of your friends. She also knew your timetable, well aware that you also had lessons on Friday morning. So, why was she asking you?
“But I am not free during that period,” you mumbled, trying to understand if she was okay or not. What could have been her problem? Did she overwork herself, or had a burn-out, was she too stressed regarding the driving license she tried to get for the past year, or was it something personal?
“I know. But you are the only one who can help me. Please! Can you talk with Levi and convince him to help me?”
You let out a giggle. Of course, she knew not only your timetable! She also knew your husband’s.
“Why don’t you ask him? He would definitely agree. After some incomprehensible mumble and complaints, he will!” You said and laughed.
“The last time I asked him, he made me write all the emails to the parents of his students for three months!”
You laughed even harder because it sounded like Levi more than even Levi himself. It was the thing he asked the most every time other teachers wanted something from him. There was no one in the entire school not to go through this and if your colleagues weren’t doing it, it was you. It went on for so long that most of the teachers already forgot why it started. And the reason behind all of this was that once he called out a parent so badly for not taking care of their kid that the parent threatened to sue the school for defamation and verbal threats. Only thanks to Erwin’s negotiation skills everything was managed.
You reassured Petra that you’d talk with your husband and that she probably could go with ease to her driving test. Before starting grading tests again, you smelled the coffee that your colleague gave you and put it away. Levi liked that one more than you, so you’d give it to him while telling him about Petra’s favour.
And back to Sasha’s test. It wasn’t awful, she definitely did better than in the beginning, but it was so hard to go through it and try to understand everything she meant: missed comas, sentences without a predicate, ideas that changed three times before the period, and every now and then a small stain from whatever she was eating. Sometimes, if the test was very hard, you could even see tear stains. At least this time, you spotted no tears on any paper.
“How many do you have left?” Levi said, appearing out of nowhere. You probably missed the bell. He took the chair from the desk near you – his desk – and pushed you a little to get some space near you. You rolled your eyes and let him be. “Eren is definitely better at writing numbers than letters. What the hell are these? A secret code of a double spy?”
You laughed and punched your husband in the shoulder. “Don’t be mean. It’s a teacher’s fate to know how to decode kids’ secret messages. And you know, it was a couple of school teachers who decoded Zodiac’s first letter.”
Levi stopped and looked at you. “And you know, this is definitely not where I would like to use my skills of understanding this brat’s writing.”
You shrugged and continued to read the kids’ essays. It was going way slower than before, because you took more breaks, listening to your husband’s comments. At one point, he reached out his hand to take the coffee on your desk, which made you remember Petra’s request.
“By the way, can you substitute a lesson on Friday morning?” you asked after putting away the last test. Levi raised a brow and stopped sipping on the coffee.
“Do you have some plans I am not aware of?” he asked and you shook your head.
“It’s not for me, it’s for Petra. She has a driving test,” you explained, while pointing towards your friend. This made Levi roll his eyes.
“Only if she…” Your husband started.
“No. That’s exactly why she asked me, so you don’t make her message the parents for the next few months.”
Levi rolled his eyes again and started to aggressively sip on the coffee. You knew that you won, but you also knew he would continue to try to convince you otherwise.
“I accept only if she asks me personally.”
“No. You know why she won’t. Dealing with parents is a pain for everyone, not only you.”
“She has to grow some balls.”
“She doesn’t. You can be a team-player.”
“I have had my driving license for nearly two decades.”
“Good for you.”
“No. It’s… She… I don’t wanna!”
“Levi Ackerman! You will substitute the first lesson on Friday. Period.”
“You missed a mistake in Connie’s essay,” was the last thing that Levi said before he left your desk. He threw the cup of coffee in the trash a few meters away from it. It ricocheted from the wall and went right into the garbage can. Then, he shoved his hands into his pockets and opened the door of the teachers’ lounge with his elbow. You rolled your eyes. A few seconds later, Petra came to your desk, with an apologetic look.
“It’s okay if he won’t. I don’t want you to quarrel just because of me. I can reschedule the exam.”
You tilted your head and raised an eyebrow. Quarrel? When did you quarrel? Oh… That exchange of pleasantries. Maybe it really looked like a fight from outside.
“It’s okay. I know him well enough to know it is not going to affect us in any way. You know, that’s how love works,” you said and smiled. Only after Petra looked at you in confusion, you understood that she didn’t really get what you said. “When you really love someone, you are not afraid to make mistakes, or piss them off. Of course, you try not to do it, but even if something happens and they end up angry at you, you are secure enough to know it won’t end your relationships. I’m not afraid to talk in contradiction with Levi, or cause him discomfort, even if I better avoid it. But it’s not always possible, so it’s okay. And don’t worry. We weren’t fighting just now.”
Finally, Petra could breathe easily. This whole time she was so uptight, you even forgot how relaxed Petra looked like. She hugged you, saying thanks after thanks.
“How did you come to this conclusion?” a new voice said from behind you. Damn, every time Hange was silent, you forgot about their existence. Everyone was so used with their energetic self, that if they weren’t talking, you assumed they weren’t even present. “What was the thing that made you understand that Levi will choose you over his comfort?”
Hange was looking at you behind their thick glasses, with their head supported on the hands they elbowed on their knees. Of course, Hange would ask for more details. There was no way they would find out something new about their colleagues and not poke their nose further into it. Nothing in this world was of more interest for Hange than other people, and it meant their personal matters too. But you took advantage of Levi’s absence and decided to roll down the memory lane towards one of your most precious memories from the start of your relationships.
“You all know how Levi is obsessed with cleanness,” and everyone nodded. Of course, they did. The guy had a disinfectant spray with him to kill the germs on his desk every time he was approaching it. He was going to his class five minutes before the class started not to prepare for the lesson, but to clean the surfaces he intended to touch. “One of the first times I stayed over at his place, he left before me. We were students and he had classes early in the morning that day, when I had that period free. So, I took a shower after he left and started to blow-dry my hair. I felt how the blow-dryer started to get hot and wanted to unplug it, but before I could do it, it kind of exploded in my hand and caught on fire,” Petra gasped in shock, while Hange was nodding, looking directly at you. “I put it out fast, it wasn’t big or dangerous. But enough to scare me. However, I also knew how obsessed Levi was with having everything clean and perfect in his house, and a black spot with a hole in the middle, on the bed sheet wasn’t really going well with it. So, I messaged him, asking him not to be mad and sent a photo of the sheet. And you won’t believe it, but the first thing that he asked was if I was okay! He said he didn’t care about the sheet, or the bed – and he said it in a more vulgar way, as you can imagine – what he cared about was me. That’s when I understood that I can do things that can make him mad, but he will care more about me, than about the anger that it caused. The end!”
You smiled, Petra smiled, and Hange nodded. At some point, they took out a journal and started to note down what you were talking about. Levi would be pissed if he saw it, you thought.
“What are you talking about? Isn’t this what it means to love someone?” Levi said, as he closed the door behind him. He went towards the trash and took a wet wipe from the pack he had in his hands – he probably went after it when he left the room, you thought – and started to wipe above the trash, the part which the coffee cup hit when he threw it. You looked at Petra, who raised a brow at what was happening in front of her. Now, she could see that Levi didn’t storm out of the room, he wasn’t mad at you, he didn’t act like an angry teenager. Everything was just a coincidence.
Mad or not, it really was just love.
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
I love how I challenged myself to volunteer for the Pinkdot protest even tho I've never physically been to the event before :D Hell yea me.
They said to wear a pink shirt, they never said I couldn't embroider what I wanted on it.
#lets ask the person afraid of talking to people#be in charge of having to talk to people#truly I know myself so flippin well#anyways look at that ugly blob :3
1 note
·
View note
Text
astarion origin playthrough worth it just for all the extra moments where he does the "sad wet cat" face
#bg3#bg3 spoilers#thoughts about media#astarion#*kisses his forehead* my awful little bastard man... i love you and your big sad watery eyes.#IT'S SO FUCKING QUIET THOUGH IF YOU YOURSELF ARE PLAYING HIM GOOD LORD#I'M SO USE TO HIM COMPLAINING TO MY TAV!!!!#OR BANTERING WITH HIM OR KARLACH OR WYLL!!!#I MISS HIS THEATRICS!!!!!!!#not that it's ENTIRELY quiet. until i found karlach i was travelling with shadowheart lae'zel and gale.#and let me tell you. gale and lae'zel do NOT shut the fuck up if they are together.#they were literally having an entire tinder date while we were trecking through the woods to go get karlach.#i NEVER knew they talk so much because while i've travelled with them individually in past saves...#...i've NEVER had them in my party at the same time!#gale is actually pretty nice to lae'zel! he asks a lot of questions but doesn't condescend her as he does others sometimes.#that's probably because he's afraid of her though. I would be too were I nothing more than a wizard with 8 strength.#I do like how you can look at pretty much any two companions and get a well written and generally enjoyable dynamic!#It feels like they considered that a lot of people would want to maybe pair off the companions they didn't romance with each other!#and wanted it to be easy for really any pairing to work... if a person just paid attention to their shared interactions.
465 notes
·
View notes
Text
that autistic feeling when social rules changed so suddenly and randomly and you don't understand why and everyone refuses to offer an explanation becuase everyone ~should just know why~, but you're the only person that didn't get the update.
do you ever see people do something a lot and assume it's fine and normal and acceptable and harmless, then suddenly out of nowhere when you (or even someone else) do it, it's now suddenly "bad/offensive/weird/creepy/a red flag/unacceptable" and you just get so confused and dont understand why it suddenly changed.....
#it was someone else who did it. i just witnessed it. and im afraid to ask why thats a problem now......the person was banned and. wtf tbh#there was no explanation. the mods just said its bad and creepy and a red flag to let someone know you dm'd them. BUT#I SEE THAT ALL THE TIME. everywhere on the internet people will throw out a “i sent you a dm” so whys it suddenly bad?#i never did it because they will get the notif probably so why give them 2 notifs...but still. it seemed so normal and harmless#and now its creepy and weird and unacceptable and a red flag. red flag for what exactly lmao. they didn't explain#its stuff like this that makes me afraid to talk to people in groups like discord servers and twitch chats because#you will get banned and blocked for saying the most harmless things without warning and get no explanation at all#im too autistic for this shit. if someone does a “bad” thing EXPLAIN IT TO THE REST OF US WHY ITS BAD!!!!!!#always offer explanation and another chance because some people genuinely dont know why youre so upset suddenly about harmless things#autistic#autism#actually autistic#lee rants#im the type of autistic that is very good at saying the wrong things without knowing and gets no explanation#especially when just repeating the trendy words and phrases said by others and copying what others do. its only wrong if it's me 🤷#when it happens to others i get upset for them because. the fuck?????? that could have been me walking into an unknown trap
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
truth is SOME BITCHES OUT THERE are boring as fuck.
I miss the old days when we were all fucked in the head and down for whatever novelty take/approach we had to these characters in this DARK FANTASY trilogy we adore.
not..... you know. who is the nicest character doing the nicest things in the nicest way.
#god forbid we have fun anymore like jesus!!!!#i'm so sorry i answered a fucking ask#iykyk#i miss talking for hours and hours and HOURS about all the fucked up insane unhinged stuff Damen and Laurent did to each other#instead of trying to cleanse them from their faults and severe personality flaws#if you want it baby i can make a post JUST LIKE MY PREVIOUS ONE#about Laurent abusing Damen for YEARS and Damen choosing to stay with him out of guilt#finding excuse upon excuse to overlook the damage Laurent's doing to him because in Damen's head it is his fault Laurent even acts like tha#because it was his killing Auguste that offset years of suffering for Laurent#so laurent hurts him PHYSICALLY and on purpose again and again but Damen stays and never lets anyone intervene#because most of all he loves laurent#while most of all Laurent resents Damen while refusing to let him go#just because of how afraid he is of being alone -- and how much deep down he enjoys inflicting pain onto Damen as pay back for Auguste#like?????#it goes both ways love -- they are TOXIC people#both of them#but then#i suppose you didn't send the ask did you? what a shame#i guess abusive damen is what we got for lunch today 🤭
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
my one (1) friend invited me to her sister’s place for games night a couple weeks back so (in a move that was very true to myself and very transparent to her) i said sure knowing it would be super easy to back out but then she responded by asking me to pick her up (scuppering my exit strategy) and she just let me know that she cornered me into driving specifically so i couldn’t bail because she knew i’d have fun if i went 🥺
#we’ve been friends since school despite me being ultra prone to dropping off the face of the planet for sometimes years at a time#she’s looped into all the food stuff + she’s not afraid to ask questions#not in a blunt way more in that i’ve let her know that she’s cool to ask whatever she wants to know because a) i’m not easily triggered#or whatever and b) i’m super aware that it’s interesting in a morbid curiosity way#i’m always fine to talk about it if anyone has respectful questions because#because i understand the curiosity but also because it can be helpful in terms of identifying it in other people and widening the typical#view of what an eating disorder is and/or looks like y’know?#same reason i was always cool with med students sitting in on any of my appointments or whatever#like good for them to see someone who’s at an ‘’average’’ weight be treated#and also someone whose body looks kind of outside the norm having been as big as i was#anyways. this was so super sweet of her to do and it was so nice to be outside of my own head for a bit#and also nice to just hang out and have a fun time#personal
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
I really wish my mom would just fucking. respect the fact that I have no desire to be religious and that I don't know if I ever will be because it feels like she's subtly trying to convince me to come back and idk. I just kinda wish she'd respect the fact that I don't want to have anything to do with it
#like. when i first left the church she encouraged me to go to therapy to Get Everything Worked Out and i did !!#i went to therapy. did all the work. took a look inside and went ''yep. still queer. still nonreligious''#and left a more emotionally healthy + put together guy.#and when she asked me about it and i said i still was quite sure i didnt want to go to church#she was wringing her hands like ''oh...winter youre so twisted up and confused inside...you need to get all this figured out..''#and for a while i TRIED. but eventually i put my foot down and was like. Mom. i am not confused. i am not twisted up inside.#and she looked pretty upset ans flabbergasted because HOW could HER KID possibly FALL AWAY from the church and become a HERETIC!??#or something idk#so now we've reached a sort of impasse. where im semi happily living at home w them and not having to do religious shit#and she lets me. but idk she always brings up god and church and shit in conversation#and i dont even think she's TRYING to !! its just a really big part of her life and its important to her#so she tries to use it to comfort me or whatever. but it falls flat because its not important to Me. and she just cant comprehend that.#and idk. idk#im just rambling at this point but i also feel like. i cant really be the person i am around my family#because she's pulled me aside and made me promise i wouldnt do or say anything that could Lead My Siblings Astray#so i cant really talk about queerness. or my own experiences as a queer person. or how people should be able to choose for themselves#what they believe in.#and since im living in their house when im old enough to not be im afraid that if i break the rule she'll kick me out#and i do NOT have the money for my own place rn#and throughout it all there's this underlying feeling that she doesnt want my siblings to Be Like Me#which only reinforces the feeling ive had all my life of being the family black sheep. lol#anyway. sundays are particularly shitty in this regard because theyre Church Days.#so idk. im just thinking out loud rn#winter speaks#personal
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
I just had the single most uncomfortable phone call of my LIFE !!! Someone run my phone over with a TRACTOR and then SHOOT it with an GUN!!
#basically I was talking to a coworker asking for advice on how to handle another coworker of ours who had said some vaguely racist shit#fairly regularly#like she’s older so her heart is in the right place but it’s…. uncomfortable yk ?#and this coworker set up a meeting with admin to talk about how I feel victimized and am afraid to speak up (I’m not)#but I had my meeting and basically said ‘I want it on paper that I talked to y’all and asked for advice but I’d rather try to approach this#on my own and solve it person to person without attacking her or having her reprimanded’#and admin was like cool so we are actually totally gonna let you do that and also have a meeting where we do the opposite of that tehe#so I got a call from my coworker today that was like ‘UHHHH DID YOU GO TO ADMIN AND TELL THEM YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE IN MY CLASSROOM BECAUSE#YOU THINK IM RACIST??’#like bro#I eat one meal a day and I get this shit during my dinner time#fuuuuuuuccccckkkk#like I was completely blindsided with this and thank god I can talk normally while crying bc I was fuckjng sobbing from anxiety#like yeah you did say some racist shit but working with you is better than working with any of the other people who don’t have their shit#together#as shitty as it sounds I’ve kinda come accept a certian level of micro aggression (and macroagressiom bc tbh Glenda girl you go too far)#like I’m always uncomfortable and always unhappy and I’m always gonna be like that but NOW I’m uncomfortable because I’m getting#a phone call during MY dinner bc admin did exactly what I did not want them to do#like I wish there was a way that I could be like ‘yo I’m formally reporting that some shady shit is happening- I wanna handle it peacefully’#‘but if it can’t be resolved I want to cover my ass and not get my words twisted#I like working with Glenda most of the time… just not when she’s talking about white privelage or lack there of…#no Gelnda the teacher shortage isn’t caused by bps only hiring poc teachers and not giving jobs to white people#I promise reverse racism isn’t the root of why we can’t get coverage for music health or financial literacy or seventh grade ELA or math#idk idk I’m not doing it Justice#like I was uncomfortable in the classroom before but now I’m gonna be MORE uncomfortable bc all this shit blew up in my face#all this taught me is to never speak up about microaggressions and never go to administration with concerns of how to solve issues-#you know: the exact WRONG takeaway because everything is so fucking messy#fuck me I can’t wait to apply for work outside of the US#also not to have a cynic victim mentally but none of this shot would’ve happened if I was white… :/#but yeah.. whatever … middle eastern people don’t experience racism ig
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#rejection and heartbreak rant part 3#i wonder if hell let me adore him as friends#but im right back where i started before confessing#where im afraid to be affectionate because i dont know how he feels about it#except now i fear even more than hell be uncomfortable#i asked him his boundaries on physical affection once and he said he wasnt ok with it when there was a deeper meaning#idk being in love with him seems like a deeper meaning to him#i wouldnt be doing so to try and get into a relationship#i really just want to fucking relax and enjoy one of my two comfort people#but everythings messy#im pretty sure id be happy without a relationship as long as i could freely show my love#but i dont know if hed be alright with that#we starting talking a bit about that#but i didnt get very far because i didnt want to overwhelm him with everything at once#why does he have to be the most complicated and closed off person ive ever met /aff#i wish i knew all his thoughts#i wish he wanted me#im not delusional when i say were practically perfect for each other#oh and im afraid that even if i am happy adoring him but not being with him#that hell choose a romantic partner over me and leave#because lets me honest#thats what happens in society#i dream of having a home and raising a family with him and my qpr#(who he loves /pl as well)#(or at least i assume platonically)#(but a part of me fears that maybe he likes her instead)#(he always did prefer fem people and shes way more confident and funny and similar to him than me)#anyway returning to my dreams with him in the next part#him
0 notes
Text
nsfw:
simon and reader who is in an "open" relationship.
the night your boyfriend brought up the idea of an open relationship your heart crumbled, but you agreed due to being too afraid of losing him. his idea of open was bringing people over an fucking them in your shared bed while your hid your teary face the next morning.
that was until you met simon at a bar, it was a night out with your friends, drinking to forget the person your "boyfriend" brought home last night.
his big figure sat at the corner of the bar, ordering shot after shot of whiskey, his accent thick as he talked to you and heard you rant and complain about your boyfriend.
"wanna give him a lil pay back?" he asks, glass against his lips and a cocky smile, you feel your cheeks heat up.
"what do you mean?"
"i think you know what i mean sweetheart."
simon walked home with you as you were too scared to get on his bike, his big frame making you feel minuscule as he walks a few steps behind you. you talk all the way back, a bit nervous as you see the lights on your apartment on.
once the both of you walk in he gets cocky, looking at your flustered face as you grab his hand and lead him to the couch.
"wanna drink?"
"i think we had enough lovie, just enjoy the moment." his hands went to your hips, pulling you to him, making you fall on his lap. his kisses were suprisingly soft, his calloused hands rubbing your body in all the right places.
he stood up, your legs wrapped around your waist, keeping you close to him, between kisses you lead him to the guest room. he gently placed you on the bed.
he took of his hoodie, you bite your lip as you see his tattoos, his big muscles and the veins that run all over his arms.
simon smirked as he crawled in bed, on top of you.
that night, he made sure that you were loud, hitting all the spots your boyfriend could never, touching and squeezing your body like no one, spanking and kissing at just the right time.
the next morning, when simon was sipping on a cup of coffee, only a towel around his waist, he smiled brightly at your "boyfriend".
"mornin', rough night?"
lets just say that your "boyfriend" wasnt happy about it, and you broke up with him.
#ghost x male reader#ghost x reader#simon riley x male reader#simon riley x reader#ghost smut#simon riley smut
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
[ Seriously no matter how many new threads are started I will always, always happily return to and pick back up any older / previous threads,
Even if it's a thread that previously was decided felt had reached it's end, or just abandoned due to a lack of direction only to later change your/our mind that is completely fine. Let's do it and pick it back up, a little time away is sometimes all that's needed to revive a spark, get the ball rolling again.
I've certainly gone back looking at old threads where maybe at the time there hadn't had any clear direction / didn't really know what direction to take but now with a fresh perspective can inspire new ideas.
Like I can and will fully acknowledge when getting Tim's ball rolling in his earlier Wonderland/ffu interactions that some of my writing was, maybe not bad but a bit clunky at times, a lot of kinks still needed ironing out which affected it. Think I was about as confused as he was in the new setting heh.
--
Which I guess also leads into the secondary option which is, even if a thread dies the idea / plot surrounding it doesn't have to. Whether it was written into a corner or just really not feeling the thread, despite still being really into the scenario/plot/idea itself. That's fine. Let's pack it up, take everything we like and enjoyed, figure out and drop whatever it was that wasn't working or didn't like and start a new.
--
But yeh the main point is, threads don't hold any shelf life, they can't expire. While interest and motivation may wax and wane, that doesn't mean it's the end.
So let's have all the threads, do all the things. And just go with where inspiration and motivation leads, whether it's picking up something old or getting fired up over something fresh and new because hey maybe right now you just aren't feeling it with the others for whatever reason ]
#psa#out of the nest; mun#Also like if there's ever one you want to continue but can't find it cause you forgot to draft it- or maybe it's actually my turn and forgo#don't be afraid to into my dms and ask to help dig it up/find it#some times all it takes to return to a thread is remembering who's turn it was lol#no lie I've been that person who digs up old threads and gone 'here's this if you want to continue' with no pressure if they don't want to#there are people I haven't talked or rp'd with in awhile and if suddenly got a message from one of them asking to continue an old thread#hell yah I'd agree in a heart beat#equally valid is if you dig up/find an old ask/meme response that makes you go 'hmm you know this could actually be a fun to expand on#do it share with me your ideas and lets do it#While I agree not all asks need to be made into threads I'm also fully on board with making any ask/memes into a thread so it's fine
0 notes