#lets all hold hands and be sad
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Nocorro but Spider loves Neteyam ikran more then anything in the world (apart his boyfriend/mate)
But no for real, i just picture Neteyam making Spider go on this flights with his ikran.
Spider loving them,
The ikran loving them,
And Neteyam 50/50 because Spider gets off balance and he is scared he might fall.
Spider (especially during the 2 years the RDA came back)takes care of Neteyam's ikran, Neteyam only watchs them from some meters away.
Ikran and Spider bonding a lot, so much that the ikran would and could glindly take Spider on a flight only the two of them, but Neteyam says absolutely no.
After Neteyam death, Spider is found sleeping with the ikran, both curl up togheter.
It hurts me inside lol.
Well, this is just rude, anon. Animal sadness combined with nocorro sadness.
Plus, that he could ride the ikran if Neteyam let them? That implies that once Neteyam dies, Spider and Neteyam's ikran are kind of all that's left. Spider probably would fly him, what would he care about being reckless now? So in a way, he gets what he's always wanted; his own ikran and to fly by himself as a taronyu. But ironically, it doesn't mean anything anymore.
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knownoshamc · 4 months ago
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proof that they were together in the past or... it could all mean nothing
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screwpinecaprice · 8 months ago
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Just a silly guy, with silly silly thoughts.
@glowweek Day 2
Casual | Surprise
A casual surprise?😬😬😬
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softquietsteadylove · 11 days ago
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Helloo, how are you?
So its halloween and i have a little request for something scary. Maybe the eternals somehow end up in this very old and problaby haunted house, and then the ghost in said house take a liking for Thena, so they start to hide her and make the others see her when she is not there. And poor Gil is more scared that he would like.
(Also thank you for answering to my asks🩷😭)
"This place really is massive," Gil commented mildly as he moved the flashlight around the walls. It was just the sound of their steps and their breathing. The halls of this old asylum were oppressively quiet.
"It's easily the largest space we've ever been in," Thena agreed as she too moved moved her light to examine their surroundings. "Its a good thing the others agreed to come with us to man the equipment."
Their friends were being good sports about it, whether or not they were present as true believers or because if half of their group was already in, they might as well all come.
"I hope they don't hate me for dragging them out here all Halloween night," he gulped as they turned a corner down - what a surprise - another pitch black hallway.
Thena scoffed at the idea, though, allowing him to walk even closer to her, all but clinging to her arm. "Please, all they would be doing is loitering at Phastos' anyway. He and Ben would be watching something, Makkari and Druig would be pretending not to make out in the corner and Ikaris would be trying - and failing - to hold Sersi's hand during the whole movie."
Gil snickered beside her. Thena's observations could seem cutting at times, but they were never all that inaccurate. And they could be pretty funny, in that way. "I'm sure he'd get there eventually."
"I have yet to see it," she drawled about their mutual friend, more frenemy when it came to her and Ikaris in particular. "Speaking of, when did they last check in?"
Gil pulled pulled out his walkie-talkie. "Ground floor, do you copy?"
"Ugh, Gil--aye, we're still 'ere. You don't have to go all air traffic control for it."
Well, if he was going to be such a stick in the mud. Gil huffed, "roger that, Party-Pooper."
"Oi!"
Thena took his hand and pulled the walkie closer to her. "Sersi, tell us if he holds onto you too tight and we'll switch floors."
"Watch it!"
The constant radio static of the channel clicked again and Sersi laughed. "He's really quite all right, you two. Anything up there?"
"Nothing, so far," Thena sighed before remembering to add, "over and out."
Gil smiled as he put the walkie back in his pocket. Thena probably thought it was silly too, but she would never actually say anything. It was one of the many ways in which she indulged him on these ghost hunts. "Hey."
She looked at him, wondering what had caught his attention. Once she saw him wiggling his hand at her, her smiled turned a little bit shy as she slipped her hand into his. "Do you think they'll know what to look for?"
"I told them about what all the equipment does, they should be able to tell if they get any activity," Gil murmured as they turned down a hall into a more residential looking area. "Whoa, this looks like an actual house."
"This must have been an area for those in a palliative sort of care, like a true hospice," she muttered, pressing closer to him. It was still old floors and concrete walls, but there were now rooms with more than nothing, some even still had an old metal bed frame in them. There was a dresser or two, even a mirror.
Gil winced as their flashlights both hit it head on. He lowered his, but he blinked and rubbed his eyes after the fact. "Can't believe something like that is still standing in a place like this in one piece."
Thena had no comment on it, apparently.
"Kinda freaky, right?" he sighed as he rubbed at his eyes again before shaking it off. "Thena?"
He looked around.
"Thena?" he called out with a little more urgency. He moved the flashlight around, plenty of the room doors were open, but he would have heard her. He would have felt her, wouldn't he? "Thena?!"
He rushed to check each of the rooms, forgetting how creepy everything was. His stomping feet were echoing all over the place, but that didn't matter. "Thena, where are you?!"
All that came back was his own voice bouncing around. He was starting to panic.
"Thena, please, answer me!" he panted, even moving the creaky, old doors to make sure she wasn't hiding somewhere. How could she have just vanished into this air?
He shouldn't have let go of her hand.
"Thena, please!" he shouted, retracing their steps, shining his flashlight down every hall he passed. He knew most of them led to dead ends. Where could she have gone? His hand pulled out the walkie-talkie again, fumbling with it a little. "G-Guys?!"
"Gil, what's wrong?"
"Th-Thena!" he gulped, knowing they needed more information than that. "She was right next to me and-and now-"
"Whoa, Gil, slow down. Nothing's happened to Thena, I'm sure she just went to look at something that caught her eye," Sersi attempted to diffuse his worry.
"Why the hell weren't you keeping an eye on her?" Ikaris snapped at him in sharp contrast.
"Oi," Druig chimed in on his set. "You all need to calm down, I just saw 'er."
"What?" Gil frowned. Druig and Makkari were on the second level, although most of it was sectioned off thanks to a fire from the last century. He rushed to the stairs, "you're sure?"
"Yeah, I saw her walk clear through that light grid you put up, actually," Druig narrated. He paused and then continued, "Kari saw'er goin' down the far stairwell."
"You mean the one to your left?" Gil asked, rushing down the main stairs so quickly he almost tripped at the very bottom. But he took off, full on sprinting.
"Yeah?"
Based on where they had set up, there was no way Thena could be on the stairwell to their left, because it led to absolutely nowhere, just a collapsed hallway downstairs and a boarded up room at the top. Whatever they had seen wasn't Thena.
"Keep your nightvision cam on, okay? And you two stay there--and stay close together!"
"Gil, man, you okay?" Ikaris asked a little more sympathetically, obviously hearing the urgency in his voice over the loud and static-y walkies. "Like Sersi said, I'm sure Thena's just fine."
"I'm on my way to you, just sit tight," Gil huffed. His chest felt tight, like it was on fire. He looked around, only now on the second floor. This place was such a massive hell hole, who knew what kind of malevolent spirits were in here. "Guys?!"
"Hold yer bloody horses, man, hell," Druig flashed his light at him from within the main hallway of the floor. As soon as Gil rounded the corner, though, Druig was already on his feet. Despite his words, his face was dead serious, "she really not with you?"
Gil gulped. Tears sprang to his eyes, although he knew this wasn't the time. He shook his head, trying to catch his breath. The light grid they had set up to pick up any kind of movement was still shining into the closed off areas ahead.
He jumped, but Makkari rubbed his back with a reassuring smile. Druig shone the light a little closer to them to illuminate her words. This place is like a maze, I'm sure she's looking for you too.
That was actually what worried him. He had screamed for her, at the very top of his lungs. And not only had he not heard anything back, but apparently none of their friends had heard him either, which seemed impossible.
And if he couldn't hear Thena, then how would he know if she needed his help?
"Where did you see her?" he asked, shining his own light closer to his face for Kari to read his lips.
She pointed. I swear I saw her walk through the grid. I thought she saw something in the window.
Thena would never walk through the light grid herself; it would compromise any evidence they got of a spectral figure. Still, Gil moved closer to it. He shone the flashlight into the corridor, through the propped open door. It was hard to tell with the light in the window reflection, but he was pretty sure it was just a boarded up, empty room through there.
Druig took the liberty of packing up the light grid and putting it back in his bag. "Take a look."
Gil slid closer to the darkened hallway. Despite never having been on one of these hunts before, all their friends were far less scared than he was. Maybe because they definitely didn't believe in ghosts. His heart hammered as he entered the suffocating dark of the hallway. He pressed his flashlight to the window of the door that was boarded closed. If something jumped up at him he might have a heart attack.
It was just a closed up room, full of evidence of fire damage. He angled the light around as best he could without giving himself nothing but reflection to look at. He jumped as some kind of movement caught his eye. He tried to follow it but it was gone as soon as he saw it. But he knew it moved towards the other door to the room.
And it looked blonde.
Druig and Makkari made room for him as he started running towards the main stairs again. "Come on!"
"If she's messin' with us she's makin' us go through a hell of a workout," Druig felt the need to chime in, following him down the stairs.
But Gil knew that wasn't the case. Maybe - maybe - she might mess with Ikaris a little, possibly Druig, all in good fun. But she would never make him worry about her like this, she just wouldn't. She would never scare him like this, not when it was always her calming him down on these hunts.
It really was like a labyrinth in this place. Gil leapt down the last two stairs and whipped open the doors to the main floor. "Did you see her?!"
Ikaris and Sersi both jumped off the bench of the entrance hallway. They looked at each other and then at him. They still had most of the equipment set up around them, and a floodlight pointed at the ceiling for a little more illumination of the area.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Ikaris growled at him for storming in the way he did. "Didn't you see her on your level?"
Druig shrugged, "thought we did."
But Gil rushed past all of them, taking a right and pulling open the doors. This place was so massive, it was hard to keep track. But if the figure he had seen in the other room had been Thena, or worse, something else, it would have ended up in here. "Thena!"
Still, nothing but his own voice. It didn't echo like it did upstairs, though. He moved his flashlight around, seeing all the junk that was pushed into this empty but undamaged area of the building. He moved more slowly.
His heart was still hammering, but he made himself take each next step. He couldn't stop until Thena's hand was in his again. "Thena, are you in here?"
He could have sworn a voice whispered back to him. It would have been great potential evidence if he had any equipment or was recording anything. But for now, he took the potential whisper of 'she's mine' and scowled. "No, she's not."
Whatever whispered at him didn't have another reply to that.
Gil slid around a corner constructed of old office furniture, flashing his light in every nook and cranny. "She's my girlfriend! Whatever you are, find someone on your own plain of existence!"
Something rattled in a far corner. He really was going to have a heart attack in here. But he gulped, re-grasping his flashlight in his sweaty palm. No ghost was getting his precious Thena--not tonight.
He moved closer to the rattling. It was a doorknob turning. Okay, so he might die in here tonight. He hoped his friends would escape, at least. But if he did die, then maybe he could be with Thena. If she had died alone in here, he would never forgive himself.
There was a door, and the doorknob was turning.
Gil let out a breath and steeled his resolve again. He could do this. He would do this! He could do anything if it was for Thena. Thena, he repeated to himself as he reached for the doorknob, Thena, Thena, Thena.
As soon as he touched the doorknob, it was no longer locked, and flew open. Thena tumbled into the room, straight into his chest as he caught her. Both of their flashlights fell and rattled on the ground as they held onto each other.
"Gil!" Thena gasped into his shirt, burying her face in it as soon as she knew it was him. "I-I-I didn't--I-I thought-!"
"It's okay, it's okay," he gulped, holding her as tight as he could without hurting her. It was really Thena in his arms, small and warm, blonde hair under his chin. His tears came again, and he didn't force them away, "you're really here."
Thena held onto him just as tightly, clawing at the back of his shirt so she could hold fistfuls of it. "I-I turned around and you were gone--just gone! And I tried shouting for you but I couldn't hear anything around me but silence. And then I thought I saw this--th-this thing-!"
"It's okay, I'm here," he whispered. He couldn't process any of what she was saying right now. All he could think about was the comfort of having his Thena in his arms again.
Slowly, they released one another. Thena sniffled, laughing as she put her hands on his cheeks. "I'm supposed to be the one here for you."
He laughed as well, just as watery and tearful. He put his hands on her cheeks as well, "I can be here for you, just this once."
She leaned into him again as he kissed her.
"You two okay?!"
Thena pulled back and picked her flashlight up first. She shone it around the room, "where are we?"
Gil frowned as she handed him his flashlight as well. "We're on the ground floor, in that side room we checked out first thing tonight."
"The ground floor?" she repeated, looking completely baffled. "We were on the third floor. I-I felt something pull me and I thought it was you, then I was in this completely other room. I was trying to find my way back to you in the hall."
Nice try, ghost creep; Gil took her hand, weaving their fingers together. He could carry his flashlight in his mouth if he had to.
"Gil," Thena continued to frown as he guided them back towards the entrance, "I didn't go down any stairs. We can't possibly be downstairs again."
"It's okay, Thena," he reassured her blindly. It didn't matter. None of it mattered, now that his fear was lifting. He waved as a flashlight circled from where the door was. "I got her!"
Collective sighs of relief were had. Ikaris was the first to bark at them, "what the hell, Thena?! You nearly scared the big guy half to death--that's not funny!"
"Shush," Sersi soothed the beast beside her, as she always did. "We're just glad you're both okay."
Druig and Makkari gave them both more curious looks, "where the hell were did you go?"
"I-" Thena looked at each of them, seeming completely stunned. "I don't know."
"Doesn't matter," Gil spoke up, more sure of this now than he had been about anything all night. "We're getting out of here--now."
He pushed through them, pulling Thena to the door to the outside, hand in hand. He could hear their friends packing up all the equipment behind them.
"Yappin' orders at us now, is he?" he could hear Ikaris gripe behind them.
"Stop it, they've been through enough." How did Sersi put up with him?
Finally outside, Gil took a deep breath. He put his hands on Thena's cheek again, urging her to do the same. She did, but she looked up at him. "Really Gil, I thought I was making my way back to you. I didn't even see any stairs, there's no way I could have-"
"We'll figure it out later," he resolved. They could do that in a safe place, where there was overhead lighting, and a warm mug of her favourite tea. Maybe he'd even have a blanket around her shoulders and massage her feet. "All that matters is you're safe."
Thena's face shifted to something like guilt. She looked down at their joined hands. "I thought I saw you."
"What?"
"What lured me away," she admitted quietly, and maybe with the first bit of true fear he had heard her voice all night. "I thought I saw you in one of those other rooms. That was what made me follow...whatever it was in there."
It had lured him the same way. But, again, that could wait until they were in a brightly lit space with firmly locked doors.
Gil kissed her forehead and pulled her into his arms. "I found you again, so it doesn't really matter."
"Hm," she sighed, nuzzling her face into his chest again. "I knew I'd find you, I guess you finding me is okay, too."
Ah, his invincible Thena. She was the truly unshaken of the two of them. But he had to admit, he was assured by tonight that he had what it took to square up if he really needed to. If it was for the woman he loved, at least.
#Oh my gosh sweetie thank YOU for sending me asks!!!#I always try my best with all of them#and it's nice to feel wanted y'know?#Thenamesh Ghost Files AU#as always shared with the amazing @taran-chan#I thought about it and I thought this was the best au#because the immortal Eternals either#A: cannot be touched or harmed by ghosts or#B: have plenty of experience with ghosts and thus don't fear them#but this Gil loses hold of Thena's hand#and he freaks out loses his mind#he's like where is my emotional support girlfriend please???#that sad hamster with the eyes and the music#meanwhile everyone else came along for the ride for fun#for the halloween vibe#and now they're like um im sorry are ghosts real#Phastos comes and picks them up like you all look like shit#Thena really doesn't believe how it happened#she just kept going into room and after room chasing glimpses of him#until all of a sudden she's in a locked room on the ground floor scared and alone?#Gil tells her everything#and she's like are you FUCKING KIDDING that's the best evidence we've ever had and we don't even have solid recordings of all of it?!#Gil: it doesn't matter just let me hold you#more sad hamster with eyes music#Gil says no more hunts for at least a month maybe ever#and he wants them to be tied together at the waist from now on#the others still kind of don't believe but hey it was kinda cool#and Gil is now in his overprotective boyfriend era#also imagine you're a ghost and this group of - let's say - late twenty somethings barges into your home#if I were a ghost I too would have a crush on Thena all I'm saying
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codakk · 1 year ago
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dave "the only touch i know is my older brother's violence" strider and jade "i've long forgotten what the touch of another human being's felt like" harley both being lonely best friends struggling with their touch starvation but maneuvering through it and healing from it with each other's guidance and company
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cloud-somersault · 6 months ago
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Alright guys, no more copium. We got the truth from Sara (the LMK showrunner/director at Flying Bark) that Season 4 was the last season Flying Bark is gonna work on.
Take it easy this weekend, guys. go rewatch season 3...and remember Macaque at his best 😞
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robotsafari · 5 months ago
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“Darkness is inside everybody… nothing to be ashamed of.”
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torchickentacos · 11 months ago
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dubacheryking · 6 days ago
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It seems like you really like the IT book( it 1986), so do you remember Eddie Corcoran’s story from chapter 6. Because like his chapter is for real one of the most heartbreaking chapters in the whole book and he’s like so underrated for no reason. Soooo like what’s your opinions on him and other little interesting thing like that lol.
:)
oh my GOG tbh i think eddie corcoran's death is straight up the most horrifying part of the book. like if u put a gun to my head and said "what part of IT 86 do u find the most stomach churning" THATS IT RIGHT THERE. no one ever really talks abt it by 90% of the fandom on here is movie based and they dont FUCKING include it for some godawful reason (i can understand the 1990 ver not including it specifically for censorship reasons, since it was the 90s and also made for tv and ALSO cut to 3hrs lol) but like. the fact that it wasnt in the movies is criminal tbh.
but i digress.
as for opinions and such regarding the corcoran boy.... i mean, we get next to nothing abt him. what we know is a) his stepdad is an abusive piece of shit b) he had a younger brother that he seemingly cared about deeply (SOBS) c) his pos stepdad killed his baby brother (LIKE ACTUAL BABY. A 4YO???? FR????) d) his death was horrific. theres a little bit more but but but i havent reread that chapter recently so some of it is certainly escaping me. i wish there was more about him as an actual person, but i also understand that w the book already being a billion pages long there is only so much small details that could actually be included, and the history of derry and main story obvs will trump this specific smaller story--but like, fr, i want to know more abt eddie. we know he was terrified of the thing from the black lagoon (fair) and obvs holds a lot of fear and anger and guilt regarding dorsey's death, we know hes abused, we know how he dies. its a weird paradox of being very close to this character (in terms of his pov at the time, being in his head and all just like w any of the main losers) and being extremely removed (we know nothing abt his internal life beyond what his abuse brings out). which. frankly it's somewhat genius bc, yeah, abuse DOES tend to stifle the actual personality/interests of the person being abused and DOES like literally fuck w the brain chemistry and processessing of a child (source: happened to me lolololol), but its also heartbreaking that all we know him as is One of The Missing. he can never be more. its fucked.
soooo . this got away from me. sorry if it makes little to no sense ill just do a small bit on my thoughts summarized HERE:
i wholeheartedly agree that eddie corcoran's death is like. the worst part of the story. listening to it makes me legit sick to my stomach in a way NO OTHER PART OF THE BOOK DOES. LEGIT. and i think the main reason for that is while cosmic horror space clown spider thing is fake, duh, and more obviously used as a stand in for trauma and specifically for childhood trauma and the lasting effects that it has on our psyche, eddie's death is REAL. dorsey's death is REAL. we see, in grusome, up close detail, the actual consequences of abuse and how it destroys people's lives--specifically children's. we see how the complacency of those around such families (eddie's mom, the teachers, the principal, the town of derry at large) contributes to the horrific mistreatment of the most vulnerable, and how NONE OF THEM suffer any consequences for their lack of action. the section ends with eddie's mother getting access to his savings, which amount to less than 20$. to do so, she has to have him legally declared dead, EVEN THOUGH THEY DO NOT HAVE A BODY. AND THAT'S FUCKED. SHE DOESN'T EVEN WANT TO MAKE SURE HE'S FUCKING DEAD BEFORE SHE DOES THIS, DOESN'T WANT THE CLOSURE, DOESN'T WANT TO LAY HIM TO REST, DOESN'T WANT A PLACE TO VISIT. I CAN'T. like obviously we see themes of abuse and neglect in the whole book, that's the whole point, but eddie's story is different. there is no winning. there is no escape. you can't spin it into a better life.
he's a kid, just like any of the losers, but to the universe, he's not 'special,' so his death doesn't matter. he could have been swapped in with any of the other characters--fuck, he literally shares the name of one of them!! and yet he's not, and because of that, he doesn't matter. his death effects no one. the only positive is that it reopens dorsey's case, and even then, the reopening of his brother's death almost entirely sweeps eddie under the rug. the town of derry turns away, and when the truth of dorsey corcoran's death is revealed, the shrug, go so very sad, and wipe their hands of it. just another child death at the hands of an adult monster, just another day.
#richie answers#maladaptivedaydr3amer#im so sorry i dont think i actually answered ur question at all#i tried:/#i have so many thoughts abt this book but nowhere to put them so anytime i try to write them out its just AGHH#if i was still in hs i could write a pretty damn good essay abt this book im certain of it. alas i am now 23 and stupid.#maybe one day ill write an analysis that makes sense. but today is not that day#but yes dear friend i hold eddie corcoran's story very close to the chest#i dont really have hcs regarding him. maybe i should change that. but for now i am simply really fucking sad abt it#esp him just hanging out in bassey park in the middle of the night..... i get it. my stepmother used to kick me out of the house during#arguments and i would just end up wandering around for hours until she finally unlocked the door at ass o'clock at night and let me in. it#was peaceful but the fact that i HAD to do that to get away from her and that she did it in the first place is fucked.#sleeping in the park would have been a repreive tbqh. so. eddie. eddie. eddie. im so sorry eddie......#i wish more people on here were talking abt the boook i NEED to talk abt the book but i also NEED someone to talk abt it w#otherwise i make no sense ever at all. not that i do anyway but its at least a little easier!!!#thank u so much for this ask i have been DYING to get all of this out. thank u thank u thanku#if u ever want to ask me more abt the book PLEASE DO. this applies to anyone. but esp u my good friend maladaptive.#ok richie out bye bye my hands hurt lol#IT 1986#IT Stephen King#Eddie Corcoran#<-tbh idk how his name is actually spelled. i listen to the audioboook ive never actually peeped the correct spelling lol
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introspectivememories · 2 years ago
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literally can't stop thinking about mafia!bernard and police informant!tim
it got too long for the tags
bear's in the mafia for whatever reason
and tim is part of a police team called idfk the bats
anyway bear's mafia is getting too big and they need sm1 on the inside. enter tim.
tim is a police legacy. his dad was a policeman and so was his father's father and on it goes
and he might've made it onto captain wayne's team but he's desperate to prove to the force that he's not a fuckin nepo baby
so he takes the job. enter bernard who only meets tim after he's been on the mission for a year now.
bear quickly takes a liking to this new recruit who's efficient and smart and has the tiniest waist he's ever seen.
and tim goes along with this liking cause hey information from the top will be more valuable right?
and they fall into this fuckbuddies relationship that quickly becomes way more. because like fuck bear looks at tim like he's worth smth
like he's more than what his parents have set out for him. like he's somebody. like he loves tim for tim. and not for what tim can do for him.
and fuck he loves bear and his smiles. the way his eyes crinkle and his gums show. he loves the way bear looks with a gun in his hands and he knows that's fucked up but the first time he saw bear with a gun in his hands and blood splattered across his face he had to actively stop himself from jumping bear in front of the mafia. and no matter how rough bear is when he's on the field he always caresses tim's cheeks with a softness tim didn't know was possible
and fuck his dick is massive and it's really not helping tim's feelings. and he knows he's compromised and fuck cpt. wayne probs knows too
but shit bear holds him like he's precious. bear looks at him like he loves him. bear twines their bodies together like he'll die if they part
bear whispers sweet nothings into his ears as they fall asleep and it'll break him when he has to give bear up but he's always been selfish
he'll keep this for as long as he can. (please lord let him have this.)
and on bear's end he really only becomes interested in this new recruit when he watches the boy deliver 10 backhanded compliments in a row
and nobody pick up on it. it takes 3 months before bear figures out that tim's a spy and still he keeps seeing him
bc it doesn't matter that tim'll be his downfall. it doesnt matter that tim doesnt really love him or care about him. that it's only a mission for tim bc tim is the best thing bear's life.
he is the sun to bear's moon. the first word on his lips when he wakes up and the last when he goes to sleep.
and he loves every version of tim -- when he's caustic and biting, when he's blissed out in bed covered in the marks bernard left, when he's laughing, when he's crying
every version on tim is a version he likes. and one of these days, his pretty bird is going to have to leave their nest but at least bear can hold tim until then
at least bear can press promises into his thighs. at least he can whisper his devotion into the crook of tim's neck. at least he can leave marks on tim -- lovebites on his neck, handprints on his thighs and hips -- a tapestry that says "i was here. and i loved him. i love him and i am here."
but until that day comes, bear will work on quitting smoking and turning his favorite safehouse into a home for them.
(please lord, just let him have this. just let him have tim.)
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deiscension · 8 months ago
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I've mentioned before that S.hi Q.ingxuan has codependent tendencies and usually said so in a light-hearted "haha yeah watch out she'll latch onto your muse like a leech" manner but it really is a major problem that sets her up for nothing but failure.
Everything she does, from the way she dresses to the way she handles her responsibilities, cries "look at me, look at me!" Some of it has to do with vanity and having been spoiled by her ge's attention, yes; she's pretty, she's kind, she's the lady wind master, so why shouldn't she be admired and adored? A good majority of it is just naturally how she is; even when keeping face, she's never once thought to hide the heart she so openly wears on her sleeve. If it were just those two facets of her personality, it wouldn't be so debilitating. But it's not. She does not know how to exist without being seen. It's not a lack of confidence in who she is as a person (she knows who she is- she thinks she knows -and she's so very confident in who she believes herself to be). But that confidence has a foundation based in there always being a hand to hold, always a back to hide behind, always a pair of arms to catch her when she falls, and if there's just one thing she knows how to do it's to be a persistent presence. Everyone needs someone else around, so it all works out quite nicely, doesn't it? She has no reason to believe otherwise.
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claire-starsword · 2 months ago
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on one hand it's not like i don't get it, because i never played Shining Force Neo and hated to watch it, and also understand how mad everyone is about the series losing the strategy roots etc etc
on the other hand it's really tragic to find even less scanned content from a game released in 2005 than the games more than a decade older. like, i can't find even the japanese manual. that's how dire it is
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kkkindered · 2 months ago
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Onyx/Antares for @astra-stellaris
MOODBOARD MEME.
Read the tags. I worked hard on them lol
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yuelun · 1 year ago
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A semblance of a ghost's caress was the only other sign of life aside herself amidst these ruins of a home, their home, that had long since been lost, perished, and abandoned. And it had been the second time that she'd succumbed to it, this— chill that claimed her spine as it did. Was it the echo of the life that once built the paths and buildings that once surrounded her where she stood, that caused the ache that resonated so vehemently within her chest? Memories of a sigh at a day's end, and memories of a smile at the next's beginning. Memories, they were memories, and so little more than that now.
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The leaves beneath her feet, bare still as they were so long ago, crunched as she kneeled amidst them as if she were no less than a kindred spirit. And when the tips of her fingers brushed them aside, and touched the soil beneath— perhaps only the most attentive of mortal gazes, or an eye much too divine, could perceive the flecks that seemed to hover and sink into her skin one by one, as if in an instinct ever innate, dust and ash beckoned to return to where, and to who, they always belonged. The sigh it had drawn from her was bare, and unlikely mortal in its sound when it escaped the lips that were so far from any such human concepts, as it existed within a smile, one much too bittersweet.
@maquiscursed (Xiao) // Starter call 🤍
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slippery-minghus · 1 year ago
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i want to paint, but autism is hungry and needs to be fed 8hrs of skyrim a day
#i'm trying to set up to paint bc i want to!! but every bone in my body says no#i'm gonna feel sad and disappointed in myself if i don't paint because i want to actually *do* something#and not spend this whole weekend having barely even scraped the surface of what i truly genuinely wanted to do#and instead just burn away the time looking at skyrim#i'm not even really having all that much fun playing it!!! but i can't break away from it#which isn't always a bad thing especially on week days but? on a long weekend where i want to enjoy myself??#and i can't because my brain won't let me??? not fun!!!#painting is so boring and understimulating and my brain is way too foggy right now to think about mixing colors and layering#(secretly i don't even want to paint i just want to feel satisfied at creating a thing!!) (my brain is too fried to hold a thought long#enough to do the physical action of painting! it sounds wayyyy too daunting and taxing right now!!)#but if i spend this whole weekend having sat on my ass doing nothing will i feel rested? no!!!#but if i spend all my energy doing A Hobby will i feel rested? also no!!! but then i'll at least have something to show for it#i'm riling myself up and i feel like i ALMOST could make myself paint right now#but as soon as i think of what it will feel like to sit here and focus and move my hands to do the painting my brain screams NO#and sure i can argue i'll feel better if i do it i'll be glad if i do it and it'll be easier once i start#but this isn't the walk i took yesterday (that i was glad i took but still felt like garbage after)#i WANTED to take a walk. i was just struggling with the level of exertion i could manage (walk my neighborhood or drive 30min to the park?)#my brain is latching on to 8hrs a day of skyrim bc that's all i have the energy for#work has been killing me#and it's so painfully bright in my apartment but i can't close the curtains bc i need all the sunlight i can get#i WANT to have the energy to paint and enjoy it but i just don't.... (but i feel like if i Give In to the exhaustion then i'm#no better than my mom who just sits around all day refusing to live her life bc she refuses to take care of herself.#and calls sitting perfectly still—instead of actuvely managing her condition—'not letting her disability win')#(so i don't want to be that. i don't want to waste away like my mom bemoaning how i Just Can't when i totally can!!!#i could push through this exhaustion and hype myself up but the only thing i'm going to be thinking about is Am I Done Yet? Can I Rest Now?)#and i can't convince myself that 'just paint for 30min' is worth it bc mixing paint and setting up is Just So Much#enough that 'just 30min' is a lie and not a legitimate out if i need it to be#i need to commit or not do it. and i just can't......... my eyes hurt and i'm tured and i just wanna play my game#and all this indecision and feeling like i'm wasting time is just making me want to cry. im gonna close the curtains and boot up the xbox;(#personal
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anewbrainjughead · 9 months ago
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i actually think all celebrities should kill themselves
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