#▌ ◈ shi qingxuan ; ⌜ study ⌟

[supportershy]

I decided to make a list of my fics, just in case anyone wants to take a look.

Until now, I have only written in one fandom (tgcf). I hope I can change that anytime soon.

They are divided between "multi chapter" and "one shot", and from most recent to oldest.

-

*Multi chapter*

And we sail with the wind - [beefleaf] [Ongoing]

The New Rooster - [PeiHuang] [Ongoing]

When the arrows fall like rain - [Feng Xin - Character Study][Finished]

Between the ground and the sky, my darling. - [He Xuan - Slightly beefleaf] [Finished]

*One shot*

Classification system of Feng Xin's smiles - [fengqing]

Light a way through the fog - [Feng Xin]

À ma manière, à ma façon - [fengqing]

Losing what you haven't found - [fengqing]

Little Talks - [beefleaf]

This person. That person. - [fengqing]

Glitch - [Mu Qing]

We are going to turn this thing around - [fengfeng - Feng Xin/Shi QingXuan]

-

[nirrvana]

safe haven 🫧 (photo study)

[chandlerchannie-dzi]

gumball and darwin duos>>>>

[ariiiiih]

Since the blackwater arc in the radio drama of TGCF began (also a new song for blackwater arc, really great!), I plan to write a few posts to talk about He Xuan, and some of ideas are came from the conversation with my friends in weibo and lofter.

(The outline & conclusion is bold if it’s a bit long for you to read:), and all citations are from book 4)

First, his original plan for vengeance.

1. Shi Qingxuan knew the truth of his fate was altered to save his life and five people died because of it, and he turned to be a mortal.

From chapter 53-56 showed the first part of his original plan, which was not disturbed by Shi Qingxuan’s decision and not greatly affected by HuaLian:

The time of the Reverend of Empty Words appear--the day before Hanlu(the official end of autumn)—indicated that He Xuan wanted to show Shi Qingxuan this story. If without Xie lian, He Xuan will be the only friend he would ask for help, like what he did in Ban Yue Kingdom. And He Xuan could draw the teleportation array to take him to Fu Gu and explain the Bloody Fire Social himself.

What he did in the Terrace of Cascading Wine indicated that He Xuan wanted to “tell” Shi Qingxuan the truth (Xie Lian had speculated Shi Qingxuan may see the gory scene from the Bloody Fire Social (chap 60, pp. 133)), and extracted all his power to let him be the mortal that he supposed to be.

2. Shi Wudu’s remorse and death because of his crime.

3. Ming Yi (fake) died.

When He Xuan pretended to be the Reverend of Empty Words, his prophecies were his plan. For instance, at the beginning it said Shi Qingxuan would never see his brother and Fu Gu would be his nightmare, which turned out to be true. So, another prophecy he made at Fu Gu— “Your closest family, your best friend—they’ll all die a disgraceful death because of you!”—could also be his plan/intention, though how Ming Yi would die was not clear (maybe in Shi Wudu’s third tribulation or in the Black Water Demon Lair).

He Xuan asked Shi Wudu to kneel before the altar and kowtow before the urns (chap 65, pp.239), and he said you have no remose (chap 65, pp. 249), which indicated that he didn’t simply seek for punishment, but for Shi Wudu’s remorse.

4. Not let Shi Qingxuan know Ming Yi=He Xuan=Black Water.

Based on his original plan, all Shi Qingxuan knew was his fate was exchanged with a person called He Xuan and his brother did this, and because Ming Yi died, there’s no way for Shi Qingxuan to relate his best friend with He Xuan. Black Water may never appear. Even in the Black Water Demon Lair, when his original plan was changed, He Xuan still pretended to be Ming Yi until he couldn’t.

Then, why it was changed?

The main reason was Shi Qingxuan chose to cover up what his brother did, or at least not determined enough to against Shi Wudu. This let He Xuan down.

When He Xuan, Shi Qingxuan, and Xie Lian escaped through tunnels, He Xuan asked: “Was it the Reverend of Empty Words?” Shi Qingxuan answered, “No matter who did it, this whole thing is over and done with.” (chap 58, pp. 114). So, what does “the whole thing is over” mean? Based on current situation, Shi Qingxuan was a mortal, and he decided to be because he knew his fate was exchanged, but he never said anything about Shi Wudu. If thing were just over, Shi Wudu would still be a heaven official that nobody else know his crime, and the justice was not fully executed.

When they arrived at Yushi Country, Shi Qingxuan said again let’s end it here, only Xie Lian asked him and he then told the truth. And he said: “But I must beg everyone here to keep this a secret! Don’t say anything yet! Just for now. Only for now…Give me time to think properly…about what is to be done. Even though I’ve been thinking for days now and still came up empty…Anyway, let me cool my head first.” (chap 60, pp.136).

All these indicated that he didn’t want to tell the truth (at least just for now) in the first place.

So, why he wanted to keep this just for now and thought for days without a solution?

Actually, this matter was not complicated. The crime and evidence were clear. If it was exposed, Shi Wudu would be punished, turned to be a mortal or the worst case, he died. And since Shi Qingxuan had already been mortal, it was unlikely he would receive further punishment (The worst case could also be dying though). Then, what solution did Shi Qingxuan want and kept him from telling the truth? Because his relationship with his brother. He didn’t want his brother to be punished, so he tried to figure out a way that avoided or at least reduced the punishment his brother would receive while also not against the morality and justice. However, Shi Wudu had committed the crime, and there’s no way to have both. This was also proven in his later action, when He Xuan blocked Shi Qingxuan’s way, and Shi Qingxuan decided to help his brother pass the trial first (chap 61, pp. 142-143), which Xie Lian also questioned: “was it really appropriate to help him climb to a new level of power before investigating the matter?”

There’s a Chinese idiom, “大义灭亲”, which means placing righteousness above family loyalty. As Shi Qingxuan couldn’t do it, He Xuan changed his plan, both Shi brothers will be punished in the Black Water Demon Lair.

And why this let He Xuan down?

Because He Xuan thought Shi Qingxuan was the one who would choose justice/righteous over personal benefit (include family relationship). For instance, when they were in the Ban Yue Kingdom, Shi Qingxuan prosecuted Pei Xiu, who was committed a crime by feeding the ghosts by living people. Besides covering his own crime, Pei Xiu did this for Ban Yue, the girl he secretly loved and wished to rest in peace, but Pei Xiu’s relantionship with Ban Yue was not an excuse of his crime. And as Shi Qingxuan not let the ghost Ban Yue compensated for Pei Xiu's crime, it showed that he cared justice more. However, when thing turned to himself, he realized it was hard to choose between family and justice, and that’s where He Xuan disappointed. This was also shown as He Xuan said in the Nethor Water Manor: he didn’t know at first, but after that he was still ignorant? And He Xuan gave chances (chap 65 pp.241-242).

Back to his original plan, even though it was changed, his main goal was almost achieved (1,2,3) besides’ Shi Wudu’s remorse, and for 4, he tried to keep this friendship as much as he could until there’s no way to keep. He still pretended to be Ming Yi until Shi Wudu killed him. I guess if Shi Wudu didn’t, he would let Blackwater kill Ming Yi so Shi Qingxuan would never know he was the reason that his best friend died.

And why he didn’t want Shi Qingxuan know? Because he knew it would be too cruel for Shi Qingxuan to learn this truth (and Shi Qingxuan did broken as he learned it), and telling this didn’t have anything to do with his purpose of vengeance. Besides, I think he want to see, if Shi Qingxuan only knew He Xuan as a stranger not a best friend, what will he do? Will he still want to die for this? Or be the beggar in the end? What he wanted Shi Qingxuan to do was no matter how others related to this matter, it shouldn’t affect the righteous, for a stranger or a friend.  

So above all, it was not He Xuan who betrayed this relationship first, but Shi Qingxuan. I think He Xuan did his best to keep this relationship, but he had his bottom line.

All in all, from his plan and purpose, what he really wanted was the truth to be revealed and justice be executed, letting the criminal knew it was wrong and regretted for it. Rather than physical punishment, I think what he sought was an admit of crime in heart. So to me he’s actually an idealistic person and had his softness in this vengeance.

[deiscension]

I'll take "posts that aren't about SQX but also are completely about them too" for 500

[dayafterdayna]

some sketches to get the brain rot of these five novels out of my head as I wait for the sixth novel to come out and bc I *miss* them

[biipbop]

Was doing some studies when I saw this and thought beefleaf

[bluberryblurays]

Why Shi Qingxuan IS TGCF's Plum Blossom

Heaven’s Plum Blossom❀➢

Throughout Heaven’s Official Blessing Shi Qingxuan’s character represents both uplifting joy and resilience in the face of unimaginable hardship, the same values as the plum tree’s blossoms. During his first appearance as a character, Qingxuan works to defend Xie Lian –our protagonist– and also defend the truth. He then is seen further assisting Xie Lian through their adventures in Ghost City, bringing a characteristic flair and positivity to the third realm. He then faces unimaginable hardship, imprisonment in the Black Water Demon lair, and loss of godhood. But even as a beggar, as a mere mortal. Qingxuan showcases that flair and positivity still kept his positive outlook, and still fought for the greater good.

We met Qingxuan disguised as a lady during the Banyue Pass arc of the series, and from that point forward he was characterized by the greater good and his positivity. When all of heaven is called to meet before Jun Wu in the Palace of Divine Might, Qingxuan defends Xie Lian and the true events of Banyue Pass unfazed by the threats from Pei Ming, unwavering in his defense. From these early moments we are informed that Qingxuan’s guiding ideals are pure, and that he is a agent for the greater good.

Immediately following this arc we see Qingxuan alongside Xie Lian venture into Ghost City to investigate a distress signal scene in that region. Another dangerous task he takes up even without being a combat focused martial god. Throughout this whole arc we see Qingxuan assist Xie Lian and face their challenges with bravery and optimism. He doesn’t shy away from the unknown dangers hidden in ghost city, all because someone else's life was on the line, someone they weren’t even sure was still alive. And all the while he keeps his characteristic flair, from costume changes to gender changes, Qingxuan’s look remains a defining portion of his identity.

We next time Qingxuan is seen of substantively is in the beginning of the Black Water arc, where he in ernest meets strife. From betrayal by his best friend, to discovery of his brother’s deceit, Qingxuan is repeatedly bombarded with hard choices, hard to swallow information, and we finally see his joyous stature falter. In the start of this arc, we see Qingxuan try to keep a hold on positivity while he jokes with Ming Yi and makes Xie Lian and Hua Cheng play a silly game. But after he is imprisoned twice, we see him react to his dangerous circumstance more logically, with fear. But even while in the disgusting prison of the Black Water Demon Lair, Qingxuan’s appearance still signals the purity he represents, his white robes being a point of contrast against the muddy prisoners around him. Even when he is knocked down, he still represents that perseverance.

The last appearance we see of Qingxuan is in the mortal capitol, where beaten, bruised and a beggar, he still offers to put his life on the line for others. He is the first, and the leader of the rest of his beggar colony to join the fight against the spirits of Mt. Tonglu. Qingxuan shows his dedication to the greater good, and his pure spirit with his unwavering desire to help others, a desire unswayed by being a mortal ejected from heaven. During this meeting we also see his symbolic appearance take importance again, with his bright teal eyes serving as the shibboleth to alert Xie Lian to his identity. Once again, even in times of extreme strife and when he has been knocked down as far as anyone could possibly be, he still wants to help, he still shines brightly if even through just his eyes.

Now this is all true, but how does that relate to the plum blossom? In the cultural traditions of both Chinese and Japanese culture, the Plum Blossom represents the ideals of perseverance and hope, just like Qingxuan. As the first flowers to blossoms in late winter and early spring, their bright colors poking out from the dead environment signal the hope of a forthcoming spring. Plum blossoms also represent purity of the mind and the ability to elegantly overcome challenges as they do when blooming in winter. Qingxuan’s ideals of the greater good, and his flair ever present when fighting against even the harshest of evils perfectly exemplifies this. 

Through both his actions and appearance Qingxuan’s identity is intrinsically that of the Plum Blossom. Perseverance through hardship, grace, bravery, elegance, hope and purity are words equally interchangeable between the two. When looking at Qingxuan, you shouldn’t just see him as a supporting character in the book series, but see him as the purest form of good and the most representative god in heaven of the greater good. His elegant problem solving, dedication to helping mortals, and commitment to the greater good even when in the face of indomitable evil shows why Qingxuan, falsely ascended, is most deserving of godhood. if you found this remotely interesting, give it a kudo on Ao3!

[reiminuviel]

a brainrot sketch

[arohuacheng]

it's me and all the little pei ming aus/fic ideas that i know nobody else will ever care about but live in my head forever and ever and ever

[deiscension]

      ⌜◈⌟    ▌ ── 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭 𝐒𝐡𝐢 𝐐𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐧'𝐬 𝐧𝐚𝐩𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞 𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞, prompting her to unfurl her fan and shield her lower face from view. Few dare argue with her so forwardly aside from her brother. Even fewer have ever chastened her to such degree. How insulting. How... exhilarating! It's been too long since she engaged in a proper debate.

       𝐅𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫, 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬, "An easy gesture doesn't negate that the gesture was made at all. The initial outcome isn't where it all has to end. You say the light only goes so far before the darkness swallows it, but that doesn't stop the light from entering the darkness anyway. That is the nature of goodness: it will return again and again even if it seems a futile effort. The world doesn't need to give presents for being good. That's what we should do for each other." She flicks her fan in the other's direction. "Yes, there would be different outcomes in your scenario. But doesn't that make it all the more important that we ought to be kind in spite of what may come of it rather than because of what will come of it?"

" No. " Normally Lamia would play the sweet, helpless role but with her words already heard, there was no point. So she lets the mask half-fall. " Only those who live good lives think such naïve thoughts. " She answers matter of factly, lips twisted into a bitter smile. " Flowers require little effort from either party; it's a poor example. Perhaps one would give you a flower back or an umbrella one day, but that's only because it is a gesture of equal value. " She twirls a strand of her hair between her fingers. " Light only goes so far before darkness swallows it whole. Besides, if an attractive person hands out a hundred flowers versus someone who is considered a freak, the outcome is bound to be different. "

[cremezin]

a quick shading study/practice that turned into shi qingxuan

[anshares]

Once upon a time, there was a prince most beloved by all.

He was highly doted on by everyone but especially so by two men: his older brother, His Majesty the Emperor, and by his secret suitor, a childhood friend by the name of He Xuan.

By all accounts, Prince Qingxuan should have a blessed life. Unfortunately it was nothing but a wretched beginning,with a wretched end.

His brother, wary of him vying forthe crown, kept him on a tight leash, while the other man in his life perished on the battlefield. To live your life in a guilded birdcage, that is the tale of this prince.

Click more for full plot!

ROYALTY AU (M/M Flavor Beefleaf)

Shi Qingxuan is a royal prince, brother of Shi Wudu the emperor who is known to be a tyrant

He Xuan comes from a military family but he refuses to practice the sword and prefers to read instead.

They first met in the palace as kids when HX was accompanying his father to a meeting and he explored the palace grounds while he waited for his father.

He is reading by the garden and meets SQX there who is playing hooky from royal lessons and from that moment on they become friends. (SQX the talker and HX the listener). Emperor Shi Wudu, seeing that his brother favors this kid, assigns him as his playmate.

Then one day SQX got kidnapped by rebels, HX tried to rescue SQX and found him after a day. They managed to escape from the kidnappers but were found by one of the rebels,

they tried to run as fast they could and managed to lose the guy chasing them but SQX sprained his ankle so HX had to piggyback SQX

luckily they were found by the royal guards and the rebels who dared kidnapped the Tyrant Emperor’s only brother were executed and put on display in the plaza.

Emperor Shi Wudu awards the He family for what their youngest son did and officially appointed HX as SQX future retainer and personal guard, SWD acknowledges how smart He Xuan is and was impressed by his bravery,

he saw potential in him and to HX dismay he has to learn the way of the sword which SQX teased him over because he kept whining about it during their breaks or sparring sessions.

As they grow up they become inseparable and people talk about how incompatible they are, like how the young prince who is beloved by everyone is with this gloomy person but it works. They are closer as ever CLOSER than anyone thinks.

They sometimes have a rendezvous in the library where they “study” or at the garden where SQX likes picking his favorite berries. SQX feeds HX one and he sucks the leftover juice in SQX finger which leaves him flustered.

The truth is they have been in a relationship for years now but they just hide to protect SQX reputation, as their genders and status won't let them be accepted by society and it will cause quite a scandal.

Hx and sqx also have talks on having life outside the palace and he sees that sqx is not really fond of palace life, and sqx admits that there are times where he just wants to run away from it all but he can't

Contrary to popular belief, emperor swd is known as a tyrant and his brother is no exception to the treatment. As his brother constantly watches sqx every move and punishes him even for the slightest mistake,

making sqx doubt himself and belittling him to the point where sqx life is controlled by swd.

This makes sqx be easily influenced that he himself even forgets he has choices on the matter.

All he knows is that his brother controls his fate, his marriage and as a prince he has a duty to his country, he can't entertain selfish thoughts which is why these few moments of reprieve where he could spend his time with his lover dreaming about life outside the palace is all he could do,

there's nothing bad with just dreaming inside his gilded cage with his lover by his side, he feels like he can soar free.

Even with HX gloomy countenance he is quite popular among the ladies that there were also rumors how HX is gonna be engaged to a woman he is usually seen with and visits his house

but in truth he just treats the girl as a younger sister and is actually from the family where his own sister is getting engaged to.

During a marriage interview where SQX meets with his possible marriage candidates he meets the rumored girl as she was part of the selection. She asked about HX to SQX and disclosed her true feelings about HX.

SQX assumes that something is going on between them and with how the rumors are, SQX gets worried about this so he asks about it to He Xuan, HX assures him that nothing is going on between him and the lady.

SQX is a little bit jealous so HX smirks and “do you want me to show you how much I love his highness” and they proceed to have a passionate night where they assure each other that they are the only ones they will love and be loyal too.

They actually talk about running away from the capital and just settle down in a rural village without their statuses getting in the way they'll just be Shi Qingxuan and He Xuan, just 2 normal people but skirmish/war with the rebel army happens so they have to draft up every son in each family.

It is also perfect opportunity for Shi wudu to get rid of a pest that might ruin his brother’s reputation because he learned of his brother's growing affection for HX since a palace maid witnessed one of their “study” sessions

so he dispatches him to the front lines at the border where he is the appointed strategist. SQX is not aware that SWD knows about their secret tryst.

Before HX leaves, SQX makes him promise to come back alive because he has something to tell him, HX asks why wouldn't he just tell him now SQX says it isn't the right time and at least he will have motivation to come back as soon as he can to the capital.

He was actually going to tell him “I love you” since they hadn’t said it to each other yet, SQX also requests that he write often, HX does but it gets intercepted by SWD and alters the contents so it'll look like HX is gradually changing his mind about their relationship.

Unfortunately HX dies in war with a lot of arrows in his back (like the visual in bloody festival) he tries to get back to camp but with his heavy injuries he won't survive,

he knows this but still tries because he promised SQX he will come back, he hasn't heard what SQX wants to say yet and it seems important.

SQX won't hear news of his death, Shi wudu will keep it under wraps and make up a story on why HX is getting transferred. He tried to ask around and find out why HX hasn't come back yet even though the war is over.

All SWD said was for their service to the country the He family was granted a piece of land to a far away place. HX decided to settle there and get married which was impossible since HX promised SQX,

did he change his mind after being away from each other for years, is this why his letter gradually stopped and the contents were not as sweet as they were during the first year.

SQX can't go out and check it out himself with no good reason, so he look at records and stuff everything checks out, he is hurt but he is glad that at least HX is alive and well somewhere even tho far away from him,

SQX doesn't want to get in the way of HX happiness even if they grew far apart from each other so he decides to let him go but SQX doesnt know that the reward also doubles as compensation for the grieving family and that the family decided to leave the capital because of painful memories.

At the end SQX monologues if it was a sin of falling in love with HX since they are both men and how he wishes in the next life he can love him freely without their status getting in the way and being condemned by society.

Epilogue:

SQX finally gets to go out for inspection and it's in the city where He Xuan's whole family relocated he was all cheerful like even tho HX is probably married now at least he can still visit as his friend as long as he is happy and healthy even if it wasn't with him that's all that matters

so when he asks the parents where he xuan is…. it got sus cuz why the home is so gloomy then he sees the family shrine…..with He Xuan's tablet in it.

SQX is shocked and can't believe what he is seeing because how could that be?? Were all the things his brother said to him are lies all these years….

Sqx didn't even know he had already lost hx years ago, did he die swift and painless, did they find the body in the battle field and give him a proper burial. He wasn't even able to give his lover respects and he couldn't even see him one last time because of her brother's intervention.

What about those letters then? Were they really from he xuan??

and then realizes it's indirectly his fault. He connects the dots and realizes that it's swd's fault but the blame doesn't just falls on his brother but also him for he wasn't strong enough to defy his brother,

didn't fight harder to ensure his lover's safety, he shouldn't have been ignorant, he should've have been more observant, he should've been more…..Then hx mom interrupted his spiraling thoughts as she noticed how pale and shocked the prince looked.

Hx mother knows how close she is with her son so finding out hx this way is shocking.

" Your highness, I wanted to let you know that he died honorably in battle protecting the city and its people.

They were able to find his body and give him a proper burial.

I can't thank the emperor enough for bringing my son home. Also I wanted to give you this, it was one of A-xuan's belongings, a journal. I think it may be best if his highness hold on to it."

After he paid his respects and did his exception he left the city with a heavy heart he didn't expect this outcome. As he journeys back to the capital, he opens HX journal. Its full of entries of hx listing everything that reminded him of sqx,

like how he saw the wildflowers that he used to collect for him to make into a crown as kids, how a nervous soldier reminded him of sqx's inability to lie, how he noticed sqx's influence in choosing the meals sent to the soldiers, etc.

Growing up as royalty he was thought to have a good handle on his emotions but he couldn't after reading the journal and so he broke down,

he sobbed and called out to he xuan even though he knows no one will answer anymore when he calls out the name. He just lets out all his grief, anguish and love lost.

When he calmed down he made a promise that he will devote himself to serving the people better so that they're not left at his brother's mercy and tucks the journal safely back to his sleeves as he sees the capital over the horizon.

-THE END-

[cecropiacrown]

Little mini-fic for Fengqing 💜

Modern AU

Word count: 1075

TW: alcohol mention

Mu Qing crosses one leg over the other as he settles in on Hua Cheng's ridiculously comfortable loveseat. He smooths down the fabric of his pants and pretends to inspect his nails, while in actuality he's assessing the scene around him.

Shi Qingxuan is animatedly talking to He Xuan on the couch opposite from Mu Qing, her legs thrown over the man's lap as her hands move excitedly with each indecipherable word. How anyone understands her fast-paced speech is lost on Mu Qing. He Xuan gently guides Shi Qingxuan’s sandal back onto her foot where it had begun to slide off, never lifting his eyes from her face. His own face is as stony as ever, but Mu Qing sees the undeniable care in his gesture.

Xie Lian is giggling from his place on Hua Cheng's lap as they both sit in that gaudy leather wingback. Mu Qing is sure Hua Cheng had such an ugly piece of furniture custom made because there's no way something as horrid as that came from off the shelf. Hua Cheng kisses Xie Lian's cheek again and Xie Lian breaks out into a wide smile, nuzzling his nose against Hua Cheng's temple. Gag.

“Do you want anything, A-Qing?”

Ah, and there's that voice again. Mu Qing shrugs and waves off Feng Xin as the man stands nearby in the kitchen doorway.

“Whatever.” he says offhandedly, running his nails over his scalp as he pushes his hair back.

Feng Xin has made himself bartender for the night and has been back and forth between the kitchen and the living room, distributing drinks of varying colors and alcohol contents. He sighs in reply to Mu Qing and ducks back into the kitchen.

Pei Ming and Ling Wen are over by the monstrous record player in the corner, sorting through records and debating on which one to play. Pei Ming holds up a contender and wriggles his eyebrows at Ling Wen, only for her to shake her head and turn her attention back to her sorting. Pei Ming pouts and gently puts the record away, returning to helping Ling Wen sort.

Inwardly, Mu Qing sighs.

He's not sure why he comes to these parties Hua Cheng hosts. All he knows is that he's here now, a carefully constructed look of nonchalance on his face, while his heart hammers in his chest.

He and Feng Xin have been dating for three months now.

Secretly, that is.

They're taking things slow, with this being Mu Qing's first relationship and all, and it's been going really well. The only thing that's not going so well is figuring out how exactly to act around their friends.

Mu Qing wants to slowly ease their friends into the idea that he and Feng Xin could be dating, but old habits die hard and Mu Qing, especially, is struggling. The vulnerability required of him to… openly express his feelings, is gargantuan, to say the least. It took years for him and Feng Xin to even form a friendship and Mu Qing was in love with the man. Admitting those feelings to Feng Xin alone was difficult enough, he has a hard time imagining he'll ever feel comfortable letting people outside their relationship know, even if those people are their… friends.

It was Mu Qing's idea for them to start calling each other A-Xin and A-Qing, respectively. But even just that got them suspicious glances from their friends. It's been a weird situation to navigate. Mu Qing simultaneously wants to push Feng Xin away and pull him in for a kiss. It's frustrating. Ah, but they're managing. They'll drop some hints here and there, and maybe in another three months, Mu Qing might be ready to talk about it.

Feng Xin shoulders his way through the kitchen door with two fancy glasses in his hands and makes his way over to the loveseat. He stays standing as he holds one of the drinks out to Mu Qing.

“Here, try this. It's like mine but without vermouth.”

Mu Qing eyes Feng Xin warily but quickly plucks the small glass from his hand. He can hear the faint pop of carbonation and he studies the, admittedly pretty, gradient of the drink as it goes from blush red at the base to shimmery clear at the top. He swirls the drink once, then twice and brings it up to his nose. Sharp brows furrow and then raise for a moment in surprise as he lets out a soft oh. He smooths out his expression and forces his voice to come out evenly.

“It smells nice.”

In very Mu Qing fashion, Feng Xin rolls his eyes, but waits expectantly for Mu Qing to just try the damn drink already.

Mu Qing takes a tentative sip, letting it sit on his tongue for a moment before swallowing it down. His face stays still except for his eyes, which glint with satisfaction.

“That's not bad.” He admits.

Feng Xin sighs and relaxes his shoulders, a little relieved.

“Huh, well, I'll take it. That's a compliment in my book.”

“You can read?” Mu Qing asks innocently.

He touches the cool glass to his bottom lip for a moment before deciding he doesn’t want to appear too eager to have another taste. He lowers the glass only slightly and swirls it again, watching the gradient dissipate.

Feng Xin groans and crosses his arms, but the way he looks at Mu Qing is much too fond to be called a glare.

“You’re absolutely insufferable, did you know that?”

“Wow, that's a pretty big word for you-- and also,” Mu Qing can’t help it. He takes another sip of his drink, not as reserved as the first sip, and does well to mask his pleasure.

“I'd argue that you actually suffer me quite well.”

The smirk he offers too closely resembles a smile and both men realize in this moment that the room has gone silent. Everyone is staring at them.

The atmosphere of the room is thick with tension and Pei Ming, ever the chivalrous one, cuts through it with his stupid, teasing voice.

“Since when have you ever been this nice to each other? Did you two lose a bet or something?”

“Yes.” “No.”

Mu Qing and Feng Xin say simultaneously.

They both visibly bristle, their cheeks red as they each take sips of their drinks and pointedly look away from each other.

Yeah.

Things are going just great.

[mediocretosubpar-soup]

so more about the messed up reincarnation AU:

shi qingxuan spends shi wudu's parties either out or locked in his room with noise cancelling headphones on with a few appearances to get something from the kitchen or the cellar. these are not to keep an eye on shi wudu's associates. pei ming and ling wen would beg to differ as shi qingxuan glares at them every time without fail. conversations with shi qingxuan are filled with insinuations on how they better enable shi wudu to do anything immoral. anyways, shi qingxuan deals with shi wudu's parties like this for years, even though shi wudu never fails to tell them that they're more than welcome.

until one day, shi wudu hears shi qingxuan laugh, he jumps up from the couch startling pei ming and ling wen. they weren't cuddling, ok, there's just not enough space! yes even ginormous can run out of couch space, it happens. shi wudu stalks along like he's doing a mission impossible heist. ling wen and pei ming following him curiously. they peek inside the kitchen.

"who is that?" pei ming asks.

shi qingxuan is mixing drinks for a nerdy guy in glasses whose pallid skin suggests that he spends more time in the library than ling wen.

"he-xiong that's so cool." shi qingxuan laughs, the nerd raises a brow at him. shi wudu seethes just look at qingxuan, they're gorgeous, looking like a million dollars, who does this peasant think he is not to worship the ground they walk on?

"his name is he xuan. i think." ling wen mutters. "the rising star of the literature department."

uggh, literature. only pretentious rich kids and delusional scholarship kids study literature. the guy is definetely not rich. he's some sucker, he's a leech...

"your shi wudu's younger brother, aren't you?" shi qingxuan's smile freezes for an instant. oh, they hate being called that. shi wudu's mouth pulls down, it would have been nice for shi qingxuan to make a friend. "what do you do?"

"i run a pop up bar." shi qingxuan says and shi wudu can see them brace for the reaction. the disbelief, the barely veiled assumptions that he's paying for shi qingxuan's business. shi qingxuan didn't speak to him for three weeks because shi wudu dared to hand out their business card at a work event.

"you make a living of that?" behind him, pei ming winces. shi wudu wonders if he can get a scholarship revoked if he makes a donation big enough.

shi qingxuan giggles. ling wen makes a noise that expresses shi wudu's exact feeling, what the fuck?

"he-xiong, you're so bold asking me that when you've been inhaling my drinks all evening."

a big hand clamps over shi wudu's mouth. an arm wraps around him and he's pulled back. his foot kicks against the wall making a noise that sends ling wen running, pei ming with shi wudu thrown over his shoulder right after her. they jump into a linen closet. shi wudu bites pei ming.

"tell me you didn't see that!" he demands. pei ming and ling wen stare back at him. "shi qingxuan was flirting with that guy."

ling wen pats his shoulder. "there, there," she's so charmingly terrible at comforting. "everyone makes a few mistakes. just look at pei, what is his dating history but a long line of mistakes?"

"harsh." pei ming calls, he's pressed all along shi wudu's back.

"but true." shi wudu mutters to which pei ming responds by flopping onto him. "i never thought qingxuan would be interested in anyone." li

"don't worry, he'll always love you the most. just this evening, he insinuated, he would molotov my office if i got you implicated in tax evasion."

shi wudu huffs. "as if you'd be caught." ling wen laughs and threads her fingers through his hair.

the door to the linen closet is wrenched open. "what are you doing?" shi qingxuan demands flatly.

shi wudu glares at his sibling who apparently doesn't think it's important to tell him about their flirtations ambitions. well, two can play that game!

"what does it look like? we're having a threesome."

which is the wrong and the right thing to say. the right because it's nice to know that shi qingxuan isn't opposed to a potential relationshhip. wrong because they disapprove of the linen closet , loudly and at length as it is not a fit place for pei ming and ling wen to romance shi wudu. eventually, shi qingxuan has to draw breath which is when a cold voice interjects, "shi-xiong." he xuan creeps from the shadows like some kind of ghoul. honestly, what does shi qingxuan see in him. it can't be his fucking eloquence because the guy just stares. after the moment has long passed from awkward to cringeworthy, he xuan grits out. "what's the name of your bar?"

shi qingxuan softens, "he-xiong are you drunk? come on," he takes the man's arm. "let me call you a taxi."

shi wudu stares after his sibling. "fuck." he lets his head fall on ling wen shoulder. "they're doing it again."

"the distancing thing?" pei ming asks.

"fuck." shi wudu says again. he knows shi qingxuan, knows they will put he xuan into that taxi with a bottle of water, knows they won't exchange numbers and try their best not to talk to anyone for months. he also knows what shi qingxuan looks like when they genuinely like someone. he'll have to invite this he xuan person to all his parties.

[deiscension]

Type of person who says "I think my lipstick would look soooooo good on you!", gives you a kiss on the cheek, declares their lipstick looks fantastic on you and they'd like to see it on you more often, then breezes on by all those mixed signals to continue on with whatever was at hand.