#let's see if i can fulfill my little resolution list by the end of the year :P (<- the face of someone who WILL NOT fulfill even half of it

[qrevo]

HAPPY NEW YURI EVERYONE 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[realtorjamier]

How to Keep up with Your New Year’s Resolutions!

Let’s face it: New Year’s resolutions are renowned for failure. Studies show that between 50 and 80 percent of these well-intended self-promises are abandoned within months. You’re probably aware that there’s a gym membership spike in January, but did you know that there’s actually a “Fall Off the Wagon Day” (typically in February) when resolutions are notoriously abandoned and fast food restaurants see an uptick in visits?

The biggest reasons for failure include having unrealistic goals, not keeping track of progress, forgetting about resolutions, and making too many resolutions.

So how can you avoid these pitfalls and stay on course with your ultimate goal of self-improvement? Here are four ways to turn 2023 into a year of positive self-transformation.

Create your personal mantra.

As a more promising alternative to the typical resolution, this year try mindfulness through a mantra. What is a mantra? Derived from two Sanskrit words, “manas” (mind) and “tra” (tool), mantras are typically short statements that are repeated over and over, often to aid in meditation. These mind tools can help us focus on our highest intentions.

Commit to an ideal without strict rules. Manifest good intentions over rigid guidelines, and make sure your mantra is personal and meaningful. The most powerful motivators are intrinsic, based on your deep-rooted values and purpose. 

The three most popular New Year’s resolutions from January 1, 2022 can broadly be categorized as living healthier, personal improvement/happiness, and losing weight. If your New Year’s resolution tends to be “I will lose 20 pounds by this summer,” you may find that you fall short of this goal every year.

The premise of this weight loss statement is that you are starting from a place of weakness and are striving to improve. Losing 20 pounds would be great because your clothes might fit better and you may look better. Neither of these are bad things, but quantifying your goal can be a losing proposition. If you lose 14 pounds, that’s great, but technically you’ve failed because you didn’t lose 20. 

The more important purpose for losing weight is probably improving your health, so consider focusing on that goal. 

By choosing the mantra, “I am healthy” or “I honor my body,” you will start off the year in a position of strength. Internalizing this affirmation may be more effective in the long-term than committing to a number on the scale within a certain number of days.  

Make manageable goals.

There are many ways to honor your body and get healthier. By staying optimistic with a positive, open-ended mantra, you can achieve many small wins in many different ways – not simply by a measurement on a scale.

Create a clear plan, identifying actionable steps. These steps are not resolutions but ways you can commit to your mantra. Here are some examples:

My healthy habits list

Improve my sleep by:

Maintaining a schedule of 10 p.m. to 6 a.m.

Moving the television out of the bedroom.

Charge the phone at night and use an outlet that is out of reach of the bed.

Create a relaxing bedtime ritual beginning at 9 p.m.

Attempt new recipes using more vegetables.

Snack on fruits and nuts.

Take the stairs when possible.

Drink more water.

Lift weights a few times a week.

Try yoga.

Meditate daily.

Walk more.

Eat more meals at home.

Choose healthier restaurant options online before heading to the restaurant.

Track your wins.

There are so many goal tracking tools at our disposal: apps, calendars, charts, spreadsheets, graphs. Choose one that works for you and be diligent about keeping a record of the ways in which you are fulfilling your mantra.

Be kind to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up or throw in the towel over a lack of wins. Get back up and keep going. Aim for progress, not perfection.

Reward yourself.

Little rewards along the way can keep you motivated. Here are some healthy reward options:

Get a massage.

Buy new athletic wear.

Eat a delicious (healthy) restaurant meal.

Explore a new hiking trail.

The bottom line: enjoy this journey toward self-actualization (becoming the best version of yourself). When you stumble, practice self-compassion, and then continue to maximize your potential for a happy new year and a more fulfilling life.

[yandere-sins]

Glad to see you back! Could I ask for 41 from the prompt list with Kitsune Dabi. It just reminds me of that ninetales myth from pokemon mystery dungeon about their tails bringing calamity if someone touches them.

Oooh, yes, I remember that! Ah, how nostalgic, Ninetales is also my favorite Pokémon lol! Thank you for requesting it, hope you enjoy! :D

“Yes, you can touch them.”

»»————-———— ♡ ————————-««   

Curiosity might have killed the cat, but you were so sure that you weren’t the cat in this scenario. Neither was he, you had to admit, his traits way more fox than cat. The softness of his tails shone in the sweet grace of the moonlight, the black and red fur so prominent and visually appealing, it was like an invite to come and take a nap. Safe and comfortable in the tender feeling of those enormous tails.

Damn, you were so exhausted.

As long as you had been running, you hadn’t noticed it, but now that you came to a standstill, it was almost like your body demanded compensation for its work in the form of sleep, food, and water. Anything really, to keep you on your two legs, which were shivering enough to break down beneath you any second now.

“Tired?” he - the creature, the presence, the whatever he was - asked, grinning knowingly. “I’m not surprised; you ran quite a few circles through the forest before coming here.”

“Is... Is this...” you looked around you, the clearing so peaceful and serene, it was hard to imagine that just a bit of time ago, you had been amidst screams and terror as your village burned to the ground in the middle of the night. “Am I dead?”

“Dead?” he scoffed, laughing lightly. “Why? You feel like you are?”

Looking down at yourself, you inspected your hands, black from the ash. There were little cuts on your palms, up to your arms from where you got stuck to burning buildings and falling debris. “N-No, but everyone else... they... I... There was nothing I could...”

The blame was enough for tears to form in your eyes, heavy and hot, and you knew he was right, you weren’t dead at all. “I couldn’t help them at all,” you sobbed, ignoring the smearing feeling of your hands on your face, as you covered your eyes in shame. Slowly sinking into you, you sat down on the grass ground, wrapping your arms around your legs to give you some kind of comfort as you cried into what was left of the ruined clothes you were wearing. They had been so beautiful, so delicate, made just for you and your wedding that should have taken place instead of that awful disaster back home.

Perhaps you should have been more worried about who you were talking too, but you couldn’t bear to care at that moment. In a matter of hours, you had lost everything, even though it should have been the happiest day in your life. Sure, you didn’t know the groom you were supposed to be married too, but for your family and your village, you had been glad to overcome your initial fear, especially knowing he had picked you out of all the other marriage candidates that lived in the nearest villages and cities, and even from your own town.

It was only when you felt a soft touch, incredible to the feel, against your cheek, that you looked up on your own, seeing the tail dance just next to you, at least, one of them. You were so tempted to reach out, rub your face on it more, the softness and warmth bringing comfort that you sought out so desperately. But still, you hesitated, lowering the hands you wanted to reach out to it and digging them into your shins again.

The irritated click of a tongue did finally reach your ear, and you looked up in front of you again, helplessly brushing away the tears to see less in a less blurry vision. When he moved, he did so graciously, just like you expected from a fox spirit. The tails separated, giving him the freedom to move without them in the way, revealing his oddly colored and seemingly imperfect skin. But who were you to judge? You probably didn’t look much better.

“Crying? Really? On our wedding day?”

It didn’t take him many steps to approach, long fingers with sharp nails brushing under your chin, threatening, yet not painful. He lifted your chin, far more than you could in your current position, urging you to stand up on your knees as he wouldn’t stop the pressure under your jaw. “And here I thought I chose a ‘bride’ a bit more resolute than the others.”

“I-I don’t understand,” you had to admit, having to grab his wrist by now as his fingers laid around your jaw, pulling you up into a stand by the underside of your mouth alone. “There isn’t much to understand about, little Human.”

The tails behind him moved as if they had free reign to do what they wanted. One wrapped around your left shin, its tip tickling the sensitive skin of your feet. Another two laid themselves around your hips, giving you some cover and also warmth, while another slung itself around your right wrist multiple times, giving you the feeling of being held and restrained by it. “Do you like them?” he asked, the gleam in his eyes almost akin to fondness.

“Everyone loves them. You can touch them if you want.”

Another tip appeared right before your eyes, wiggling temptingly. You couldn’t deny the mighty need to touch it, cuddle it to yourself in an attempt to get more comfort. But at the same time, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were forgetting something. “N-No, I shouldn’t...” you eventually muttered, trying to find some eye contact with him, but you found yourself stared down by the cold, icy circles in his eyes, making it incredibly hard to look directly into them.

“Yes. Yes, you can touch them. I’m being nice, don’t leave me hanging.”

“No, I don’t want to...”

“Do it.”

Silence, neither of you moved.

“Just fucking do it!”

Baring his teeth, you couldn’t help but jump from the sight of the sharp canine ones he showed. It made sense to you that they were there, but the sight, almost as shiny as they tails, made you realize how real they were. Real and sharp.

He reached for your free hand himself, wrapping his fingers around the wrist as he pulled it forward to his tail. Though you reacted quickly, balling your hand into a fist, causing the tails wrapped around you to stir in anger, tightening ever so slightly. “Why are you being so damn difficult?!” he barked, pulling at your arm roughly again and again.

“They promised you to me! They sold you out, you know that?! Couldn’t fulfill their debts to my clan for months now, so they promised me one of their own!”

“Wh-What?! No! I was promised to some man from another village! I was chosen from many!” you screamed at him, in pain, but your adrenaline skyrocketed.

“It’s not my fault when they told you that,” he growled back. “But it’s time to keep your end of the bargain! Your parents thought they were very clever, sending us a decoy and trying to get you away before we would find out, but I’m not that stupid.”

“You mean...” Your resistance weakened as your memories flooded back. You could clearly remember sending off your sibling, who was smiling and crying tears of joy. It was true that they always had been a sickly child, so hearing someone wanted to marry them was a surprise, yet the greatest joy you could have experienced in a long time. And on the same day as you even! You two would have become the happiest people on earth at the same time.

The tears flooded back, as you couldn’t help but think of what might have happened to them. The pain that you felt was instant, like a cold dagger in your chest, yet stinging in your whole body. “Are they...? Too...?”

The smile curling on his lips was a one-of-a-kind one, mischievous, yet, a poker face like you had never seen one. “Maybe,” he hummed, shrugging lightly. “Maybe not,” he added, grinning only wider with the spark of hope in your eyes. “They could be very much alive, and I could lead you to them. But you need to accept what you are first.”

Pulling on your arm again, you flinched over the strength he used to wrap around your wrist. You knew what he wanted. Knew what he was trying to make you do. Whatever plans he had with you, he needed you to touch his tails out of your own free will. Agree to the marriage put upon you two. Become his.

There were a million reasons not to, alone because you couldn’t know if your sibling even was still alive. But if they were, they were all that’s left from your family, all you had left on earth even. “The longer you wait, the more likely it will be that they are roasting over a campfire, you know.”

It was a taunt, a challenge even. But the way he was, you could only imagine how the other creatures in his clan behaved. Slowly, almost painfully, you opened your hand, revealing your palm. Noticing your cooperation, he finally let go of you, blood pumping through your wrist noticeably from being cut off by his strength before.

Carefully, you settled down into the fur, the tail bumping back into you, letting itself be gripped and held like an affectionate animal. It felt exactly like you imagined it, just as comforting as you hoped it would from all the other touches you had experienced. “Good,” he hummed, and you felt the tails around your body tug you forwards, closer to him until he could put his arms around you in an almost loving embrace.

“You decided right. I promise that our marriage will never be boring as long as you live. Otherwise, I’ll just burn down another village for you. Wouldn’t that be fun, Darling.”

Curiosity might not have killed the cat, but you knew it was on you to keep this maniac of a husband from killing more humans. And all you could think of as he gave you a kiss so bitter, tasting like smoke itself before he left the nibbling sensation of teeth on your lower lip, was that you hoped your sacrifice would be enough to keep your sibling alive at least.

[jaskiersvalley]

The Bard’s Guide To Keeping Your Witcher Happy

It started off as a joke, Jaskier compiling a list of stupid things that a bard would need in order to keep a Witcher like a pet. If only he hadn’t been a little drunk and joking showing the list to a friend in Oxenfurt. Because now he had a book deal and a headache to go with it. Still, it was going to be a hit, even if he said so himself. This was what he had put together so far:

Introduction So, you want to get yourself a Witcher. Here are a few things to help in the taming and domestication of your companion. Once they are embedded in the routine of having someone by their side, they are wonderful partners in everything. The relationship between the Bard and Witcher is quite beautiful and deep, fulfilling needs of adventure, companionship, inspiration and safety.

Choosing Your Witcher They can be quite tricky to catch, preferring their solitary “I don’t need anybody” kind of attitude. It’s just something that’s been drummed into them, don’t let it put you off. But, if a Witcher already has a Bard then it is very poor form to try and steal a Witcher (looking at you, Valdo Marx). Also, it’s a pointless endeavour, Witchers are terribly loyal and do not take kindly to having something they consider theirs being taken away from them. So choose carefully, it’s something you’ll only have once chance to do.

Bathing Your Witcher This is a delicate operation. Because sometimes Witchers are resistant to cleaning up. Unless they’re covered head to toe in selkimore guts, they will happily keep on going, like a small cloud of vile, pungent violence. They take the attitude of “why bother when I will only end up like this again in a few days”. Do not allow this kind of reasoning to bother you. Your Witcher needs a good bath. So demand that you be treated right, to a room with a bath if coin will stretch that far. You may have to earn said coin and sneak it into your Witcher’s pouch so they feel they’re providing.

Anyway, once there is a bath, a Witcher (minus armour and clothes), make sure your Witcher actually gets in the tub. They may stare at it for a few minutes, let them. Just take their clothes to be cleaned while they have a stare off with the water. By the time you return, they should have gotten in. That’s the time to bust out the salts and oils. Once the scent is acceptable (remember to keep it soft, their noses are rather delicate), it is time to move behind the tub.

If your Witcher is the kind with hair, start by picking out the larger pieces of guts, leaves and twigs. You may need to soak the more stubborn pieces. Then move to cleaning products. Even if your Witcher doesn’t have hair, they will probably appreciate their neck and shoulders being rubbed. It’s just easier to hide such ministrations under the guise of washing hair.

Once your Witcher is accustomed to the idea of you touching their hair and shoulders, you can help work over their arms and chest. Chamomile is my personal favourite scent to use, especially when rubbing it into a lovely bottom.

Feeding Your Witcher In public, they are quite polite company, if a little quiet. But they show restraint and eat like anyone else. But always have a stash of food sent up to the room, fill your packs with snacks. Being a Witcher is a lot of hard work, they like to eat even if they can go longer without food than a human. A hungry Witcher is a sad Witcher. They make adorable noises when presented with their favourite snacks - try jerky, fresh fruits and, if in a village, raid their bakery with all the coin you can spare. Fresh, warm pastry is a Witcher’s weakness.

Defending Your Witcher Your Witcher’s worst enemy is themself. They generate their own doom and gloom reputations so changing that falls to you. Do it well and you’ll be rewarded - you’ll earn more coin and you’ll also have more options available if people aren’t running scared from a grubby Witcher in from a fresh kill.

Sometimes, you may have to do some work behind your Witcher’s back. They tend not to care about slander. But you need to keep an ear out for that. Don’t be scared to throw your lute down and tear someone a new one. People will give you a wide berth, especially if you’re well bonded with your Witcher. Anyone sees you playfully whacking a Witcher on the arm, stealing food from their plate, snagging their drink for a sip or even carefully wiping a bit of filth with a licked thumb, will decide you’re more dangerous than the Witcher. So be affectionate with you Witcher in public (and behind closed doors). They need you even if they resolutely deny it.

Final Note Your Witcher is your responsibility. Don’t take one on lightly, they are for life, not just a few adventures and songs. As much work as they might initially seem, they are worth so much more. You’ll definitely enjoy platonic love with them but, if you’re both that way inclined, romantic love too.

I shall leave you with a few words from the other side. Wisdom from a Witcher who has a Bard by their side, and has done so for a long time. Geralt, over to you.

Witcher’s Warning If you find yourself in the company of a feral bard, don’t panic. Just accept your fate, you have a bard to care for now. They will stick by you, no matter what. Congratulations, you’ve been adopted.

[scottspack]

SO YOU JUST FINISHED THE UNTAMED AND YOU WANT TO READ SOME FIC

Congratulations Jen @jlf23tumble on finishing The Untamed (tomorrow)! Now that you’re done with the show (tomorrow), you can finally dive into the wide and wonderful world of untamed fic!!! I’m ecstatic to be personally curating your reading experience! LET’S BEGIN!

I’ve started off with a list of 5 fics I think you should read in this specific order to 1. get some resolution from the end of the show and 2. get you acclimated to untamed fics! Then, I’ve listed a bunch of fics in different categories for your perusal to read at your leisure! This is an unbelievably long post holy shit brace yourself.

I’m like fairly certain that all of these follow the tv show canon BUT also its very typical for authors to combine many aspects of all of the different forms of canons to their liking. Therefore, I feel like I need to give a quick explanation of a couple things from the novel that show up frequently in fics that idk if you know already or not:

In the book, when Wei Wuxian is resurrected, he is brought back in Mo Xuanyu’s actual body and has his face and everything. Mo Xuanyu was pretty young when he died, I wanna say maybe 17 or 18??? and he was also short and pretty and flamboyantly gay. This is where the references to their crazy height difference come from, but again, I think I tried to include mostly fics that skew more heavily to the tv version where WWX keeps his same body and he and LWJ are more evenly matched physically.

Its novel canon that LWJ smells like sandalwood incense and has golden colored eyes. This is mentioned in like almost every single wangxian fic ive ever read, even if the author said they were strictly adhering to show canon lol

At the end of the novel wangxian run away together and elope! Obviously in the show that’s not how it goes down, but I think a couple of the fics I’ve recced might mention it in passing. (Oh also when they elope they make a pact to fuck “everyday,” a concept that might be mentioned as well.

Obviously, we have to kick it off with some fics that both reunite wangxian and give more resolution to the actual show. If you’re like me, it both took you a while to get all the way through the show AND took 100% of your brain power to remember all of the characters and plot lines. If that’s that case: these fics should be helpful in serving as a kind of emotional refresher for the show to wrap up some loose ends and to dive deeper into some of the things the show glosses over for one reason or another!

1. A Lot of Edges Called Perhaps by hansbekhart (Wangxian, E, 21k) 

The funny part is - and it is a little funny, even if Wei Wuxian has no one left to share the joke with - they never have. Not anything. He has never kissed any part of Lan Zhan besides his slim hands; never been even partially undressed with him anywhere besides a miserable, xuanwu-infested cave. It’s always been like this between them, this simmering need, this desperate understanding: a knowledge so deep that it lives somewhere in his bones, that if he wanted to have Lan Zhan he could have him, and if Lan Zhan wanted Wei Wuxian he could have that too. But they never have.

I found this fic on someone’s blog when they said that it was the definitive fic to read directly after finishing the series so i saved it, read it directly after finishing the series, and felt COMPLETE. Beautifully written, seamlessly fits with canon, and has a super fulfilling resolution. The perfect way to kick off reading untamed fic!

2. One Rogue Spark In My Direction by hansbekhart (Lan Wangji/Xiao Xingchen/Song Lan, E, 5k)

He’d thought, in Yueyang, that they’d seen something in each other, something familiar. That maybe they’d recognized something in him. But it’s been many years, and many things have happened since, and he’s guessed wrongly at other people’s hearts before. Lan Wangji looks back down at the table, at his steaming, bitter tea. He’ll beg if he has to.

In “A Lot Of Edges Called Perhaps” Wangji mentions that he has had sex before and this is the in-universe story of that time and WHEW BABY!!!! AHHHHHH!!! While this fic is like, almost pure smut, I think there is a ton of value to it in terms of emotional perspective on how fucked up LWJ was after WWX’s death. Also, it’s very hot.

3. Gathered Herbs & Sweet Grasses by hansbekhart (Laz Sizhui & Lan Wangji, G, 19k)

Later, when he’s older, it’s this that A-Yuan will remember most: the stretch of silence, the two of them both dirty and shaking with fever, as he looked at Brother Rich, and Brother Rich looked back at him.

This is a fic about Lan Wangji raising Sizhui from when he rescues Sizhui from the Burial Mounds until they bring WWX back to the Cloud Recesses after he’s resurrected. It made me cry about 18 times and I consider it fully canon in relation to the show. I think this gives a lot of emotional depth to the Wangji/Sizhui family relationship that is very important in most fics, so this acts as a good base since the show doesn’t really talk about it too much.

4. Your Name, Safe In Their Mouth by astrolesbian (Lan Sizhui & Wei Wuxian, G, 10k)

“You’ve got a fever,” Wei Wuxian says soothingly. “You just keep still as well as you can. We’ll have you fixed up soon.”

Lan Sizhui recognizes his tone—this is the voice that Wei Wuxian uses on hurt people and young children, a very calm and no-nonsense voice that has none of the mischief and cheer of the way he sounds the rest of the time. Lan Sizhui looks up and meets his eyes, and they are dark, stormy gray, muddled and concerned.

“I’m all right,” he croaks.

“Hush,” Wei Wuxian says, in a low croon, like someone quieting a baby. Then he blinks, and looks away, awkward. “I mean—you shouldn’t speak. You’re tired. Rest if you need to.”

or: lan sizhui gets sick on a night hunt. wei wuxian comforts him. they both have a lot of feelings about it.

The Wei Wuxian and Sizhui bonding fic that I so desperately desperately needed to read. Since we got the emotional depth to Wangji/Sizhui in the last fic, here’s some emotional resolution for Sizhui and his other dad!!!!!!!!!! Scratched the very particular itch of “but have they REALLY talked about what it means that they’re reunited after 16 years???”

5. climbing up that coastal shelf by Sour_Idealist (Jin Ling, Jiang Cheng, & Wei Wuxian, T, 15k)

Jin Ling had begun to suspect years ago that there were parts of his family history that had been crossed out; long streaks of black where Wei Wuxian had been. The truth is more like whole books being brought up from their hiding places again.

Or: Jin Ling tries to figure out what family means, now.

OKAY!!!! Last emotional resolution before I send you on your way to explore! This is the emotional resolution for the other half of WWX’s family. Featuring just a FUCK TON of family feels and a lot of TALKING that this fucked up family needs so damn bad. *chefs kiss* muy delicioso! ALSO i think this is a good introduction to a lot of the naming conventions that are used frequently in untamed fic that took me a while to pick up on!

WHEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now that you’ve gotten some post-show catharsis in the form of a few extremely well-written fics, it’s time for a full rec! I’ve divided it up into seven categories: long fics, smutty one-shots, 3zun (lan xichen/nie mingjue/meng yao) fics, fics about the juniors, family fun fics, some miscellaneous fics, and then some yizhan RPF! I wouldn’t have put any of these fics on here if I didn’t think they were worth reading, BUT! I did mark my particular favorites with asterisks to demark the crème de la crème of the bunch. SO! LET’S DIVE IN!

EPIC TALES (LONG AND/OR IMMERSIVE)

My Age Has Never Made Me Wise by idrilka (Wangxian, E, 63k) ***

“We hear that His Excellency might be married by summer’s end,” the merchant’s wife says and Wei Wuxian freezes, his heart in his throat. “The Gusu Lan sect has been buying enough red silk and brocade that the merchants in Caiyi can’t satisfy the demand.”

He feels himself grow brittle inside, like a flick of a finger to his temple might make him shatter. His ears are ringing.

“Who’s the lucky bride?” he asks despite himself. His tongue sticks to the roof of his mouth.

Or: The story of a marriage.

I LOVE THIS FIC. YOU MUST PROMISE ME YOU’LL READ THIS FIC. The absolute best kind of slow burn and I think such an extremely accurate representation of the canon material. I’m always surprised by the authors in this fandom’s ability to write shit that is so concretely grounded in the universe. This could and should be a real companion novel. Amazing. I love it. (Also I know you said you’re not into fics that are long just to be long and I think this fic is the exact opposite of that, it’s long but for good reason and has such an insanely satisfying payoff that it’s completely worth dedicating a few hours to!)

The Year of Drought by idrilka (Wangxian, E, 24k)

Wei Ying could not be contained by the walls of the Cloud Recesses, alive again and overflowing with it, bursting like a dam in spring with the force of two lives unspent. And so he had to go. Lan Wangji understands that—he understood it when Wei Ying told him of his plans, looking at Lan Wangji above the rim of his cup with an apologetic smile, like craving freedom was something to apologize for.

Wei Ying would go, and Lan Wangji would see him off; this has always been the only way it could be.

Or: In the absence of Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji waits.

The previous fic but from Wangji’s perspective. Absolutely required reading if you read the other one. Wangji baby.......i love you.....

further than the grave by idrilka (Wangxian, E, 32k)

There is something about grief that turns Lan Wangji numb. He cannot be certain if it is not some kind of defect inside him that makes him so. But just as he grieved his mother’s passing with dry eyes and a stone in his chest, so he grieves Wei Ying: quietly, frozen inside, without tears. Beyond the Jingshi window it might be spring, but Lan Wangji’s body and mind are still held within the winter’s grasp.

As the anniversary of his leaving seclusion approaches, Lan Wangji ponders the nature of grief and healing.

One last fic from the same verse as the previous two, this talks about Wangji post-WWX’s death and then them dealing with the past post-marriage. Its just as good and immersive and amazing as the previous two parts, but this is the only untamed fic that actually made me gasp out loud and if you read this and can guess what it was we will be best friends forever. (There are two other fics in this verse that are also good but these three in particular are god-tier in my eyes.)

Vagabond by xantissa (Wangxian, E, 66k)

Wei Wuxian comes back to Cloud Recesses after a year of wandering the world, hoping to start a relationship with Lan Zhan. He doesn’t expect to come into the middle of a case of sleeping sickness mysteriously killing people, nor does he expect what follows, putting everything he holds dear on the line once again.

OOOWEE CASE FIC! CASE FIC! This is truly the twisty turny intense and INTERESTING type of fic from this fandom that blows my mind. This could fully be a stand alone novel its that good and there’s that much to it. Another one that isn’t long just to be long, it has so much PLOT!!!!! REAL GOOD SHIT!

Seldom All They Seem by Fahye (Wangxian, E, 25k)

or, one hundred and thirty-three principles of the Gusu Lan, pertaining to the state of marriage

***

He bows to Wei Wuxian, sword in hand, sleeves falling properly. Wei Wuxian bows in return, and the sect leaders begin the opening courtesies, and for all of ten minutes Lan Wangji is under the impression that he is betrothed to a boy who is perfectly normal and acceptable apart from an unfortunate tendency to fidget with his clothes.

That impression does not last.

A canon-divergent fic exploring “what if Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian were betrothed from when they were young like Yanli and Jin Zixuan?” It’s extremely good and very compelling and also made me cry multiple times. (The confrontation in the rain doesn’t get any easier even if they’re betrothed!)

Half Cloak & Half Dagger by Fahye (Lan Xichen/Meng Yao, E, 13k)

Jin Guangyao lifts his head and smiles. "I'm considering a problem."

"Can I be of any assistance with it?"

He drops a kiss on Lan Xichen's chest. With the nail of one finger he lightly traces the characters for irony on Lan Xichen's side. "Not this one, er-ge."

A follow-up fic set in the “Seldom All They Seem” universe but focused on xiyao. Has hands down the best written characterization of meng yao in any fic ive read so far. I continuously come back to this fic just to read the absolutely genius way this author writes the Head Bitch In Control of the cultivation world.

The Absolutely True Story of the Yiling Patriarch: A Manifesto in Many Parts by aubreyli (Wangxian, T, 20k)

Wei Wuxian’s hand jolts, spilling a drop of wine onto the tabletop. “Love?” he croaks, then clears his throat and tries again. “Lan Zh— uh, Hanguang-jun, in love?”

“Have you not heard the story?” the other young woman asks, looking pitying. “You must, it is a truly heartrending tale of star-crossed romance and mutual pining — go to any storyhouse in town, everyone has been requesting a reading of this book.”

“There’s a book?” Wei Wuxian says blankly.

In which the junior disciples (namely, Lan Jingyi, Ouyang Zizhen, and a reluctant Lan Sizhui) turn to RPF in an attempt to rehabilitate Wei Wuxian's reputation so that he and Hanguang-jun can get together and get married and live happily ever after. It's... surprisingly effective.

I kept avoiding this fic, even though it was really high up on the list of most popular fics in the fandom, bc the premise sounded pretty goofy BUT I finally bit the bullet one day and AHHHHHHHH!!!!! Very very very cute and fun, made me smile like an idiot throughout the entire thing. Heartwarming and very well written!!!

never let me go by yiqie (Wangxian, E, 69k)

Wei Wuxian has certainly hoped so ardently in his two lifetimes, for so many different things, in so many different ways, that he could have summoned the demon to his front door with his bare hands. His eyes wander to Lan Zhan, settle on the back of his head, the blue-black curtain of his hair. Oh, how he has hoped.

Another extremely good and super immersive case fic. If you ever just want to sink really deep into an untamed fic, this is a great one for it.

hunters seeking solid ground by Attila (Wangxian, E, 24k)

“Hanguang-jun,” Wei Wuxian repeats. His heart clenches. He wants—but he’d really meant to have this nightmare stuff down before they met again, so he wouldn’t find himself relying on Lan Wangji’s nearness. He’s not supposed to go back yet. But he’s so tired, and his will crumbles. “Yeah,” he says. “All right. Take me back to Gusu with you.”

You want hurt/comfort? I gotcha hurt/comfort RIGHT HERE!

shadows in the sun rise by Yuu_chi (Wangxian, E, 25k) ***

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji says, voice slow and a pitch too quiet. A second later Wei Wuxian understands why. “I cannot hear.”

Or; Lan Wangji is cursed into internal isolation. Their ability to understand one another remains as unwavering as ever.

OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD. I have been thinking about this fic nonstop since I read it. It is…..fucking incredible. One of the best qualities of wangxian is that they’re so in tune with each other and able to work so cohesively with little communication and this fic is like “what if we take that and DIAL IT UP TO ELEVEN” and i was like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

I hope that you will come and meet me by feyburner (Wangxian, M, 28k) ***

The second time Lan Zhan said Wei Ying, come back, Wei Wuxian did.

okay so this is literally getting added to the fic rec one day before i send it to you because i just finished it and WHEW BABY!!!!! YES it is just another wangxian post-canon reunion get-together fic, BUT 1. i cant get enough of that specific brand of fic and 2. ITS SO GOOD. ITS. SO. GOOD. achingly tender and incredibly soft but also funny and sweet and very in-character! i love it!

THE BONE ZONE (WANGXIAN SMUT)

Sweet Night by corteae (Wangxian, E, 10k)

It was like coming back to life again, like being restitched into existence, cell by cell, nerve by nerve. From the surface of his skin to the marrow of his bones, everything new and purposeful. Like being pulled back from oblivion into an embrace of pure light. A feeling of absolute asylum.

That’s what it felt like, to realize Lan Wangji was in love with him.

An in-show au of “what if they just admitted they’re in love and fucked during episode 43?” Soft and romantic and hot!

the crucial point by dissembler (Wangxian, E, 7k) ***

Months after parting on the mountain, Lan Wangji makes up his mind, plots his course on a map, and has faith.

I LOVE THIS FIC! Very realistic and sweet wangxian reunion fic from wangji’s perspective. Has so many good little details and is very true to their characters. Good shit. Great.

Stainless by Fahye (Wangxian, E, 6k)

"I'm starting to feel," says Lan Xichen, "that this was a counterproductive suggestion."

Wei Wuxian looks down onto the pristine, tranquil cold springs of the Cloud Recesses. Sitting in the water, their bare shoulders rising like dumplings carefully spaced in a steaming-basket, are a large number of Lan disciples.

"They seem to be doing better," he says, encouragingly. "If they--oh, no, I see what you mean."

At the near bank, someone has pressed someone else against the rocks and is kissing them frantically.

What is getting into a new pairing if not an excuse to read sex pollen in new and exciting ways!

To Recklessly Confess by la_dissonance (Wangxian, E, 8k)

Lan Wangji has a fantasy. Wei Wuxian gets several clues.

The “what if they just fucked in episode 43” au but from a different angle.

all the depths of me, real by northofallmusic (Wangxian, E, 15k)

Wei Wuxian is dealing with a curse a little worse than he'd like to let on, and Lan Zhan is a little less than willing to let it slide.

Another “what if they just fucked in the show” fic, this time set when WWX has the curse on his leg and Wangji has to carry him back to the inn. 

Every Day, Learning More by phnelt (Wangxian, E, 6k)

The pink was high on Wei Wuxian’s cheeks. “I mean I haven’t been able to… that I can’t. Not without you.”

Lan Wangji stared. “In this body, the whole time you’ve had it -- you’ve never…”

Wei Wuxian kicked his heels into Lan Wangji’s back. “I just said that!”

I knew at least one of these was more book verse than show! WWX hasn’t been able to jerk off in his new body, LWJ helps him out :-)

the meaning of the ritual by newamsterdam (Wangxian, E, 8k)

“Lan Zhan… wants to bed me?”

The hand on his chest is shaking, slightly. “Mn.”

“Oh,” Wei Wuxian breaths out.

There’s something— something powerful, about that. Lan Wangji wants to bed him. Lan Wangji wants to sleep with him. Lan Wangji wants to touch him, and kiss him. The immovable, implacable Second Master of Lan, with a face and principles both carved from jade, wants him.

“Is this a fantasy of yours?” Wei Wuxian asks. “Forcing all the demonic energy out of me with your—”

Lan Wangji claps a hand over his mouth. “Silence, now.”

When the entire cultivation world turns against the Yiling Patriarch, Wei Wuxian makes a risky gamble— he'll agree to participate in an ancient ritual for cleansing the spirit, so that his character can no longer be called into question. The catch? He has no idea who his partner for the ritual will be.

This is also book-verse! As the tag says “Let Lan Wangji Fuck the Yiling Patriarch”!!!!!!!!!!!

Hurricane by gdgdbaby (Wangxian, E, 6k) ***

"Haven't you heard?" Nie Huaisang replied, clicking his tongue, though he was clearly pleased that he could be the one to break the news. He leaned in to announce with a dramatic flourish: "Lan Wangji just took emergency family leave this past weekend."

WANGXIAN AS SPIRK STAR TREK PON FAR AU!!!!!!!!!!!!! WEEWOO WEEWOO WEEWOO!!!!!!!! This was actually recced to ME by CHI and I have not stopped thinking about this fic for a full month. It’s like author gdgdbaby sat down one day and was like “Tumblr user Liv Scottspack deserves everything she wants in this life.” and then wrote this fic. Thank you author gdgdbaby, I love you.

WORLD’S WORST THROUPLE (3ZUN)

The body is a blade by rheawrites (3zun, E, 2k) ***

In which Lan Xichen is taken by surprise, Nie Mingjue takes what he can get, and Meng Yao gets what he wants.

This was the first 3zun fic I ever read and whew baby, got it in one! It’s actually a slight AU but it gets their characterization so right and is a very fun read. One of those fics I go back to frequently because it does so much with so few words.

shang tiantang by fuckwarlock (3zun, E, 4k)

They wanted so much, and with the way A-Yao gasps at the saber-calloused hand unfastening his belts, he does, too. The night air twirls with the scents of osmanthus and cinnamon and melon. Lan Xichen smiles, leans in, and ghosts his lips over the crook of A-Yao’s neck. What kind of brother would he be if he didn’t give A-Yao what he wanted? “I think it’s your turn to ascend, A-Yao.”

The Venerated Triad celebrates the Mid-Autumn Festival the best way they know how.

Truly the only way the venerated triad works is if meng yao gets Destroyed :-)

Favour and Fate by soulgusttheguardian (3zun, E, 8k)

There have been times in Meng Yao’s life when he couldn’t help but wonder how he came to be in his current situation. Found himself reflecting on the choices leading up to whatever misfortune had befallen him that day, and pondering why fate hated him so.

Granted, there had also been times when he couldn't help but wonder just what he had done to earn the favour necessary to be rewarded with certain things...

The current situation he found himself to be in, however, was definitely the latter.

More of the same! Truly I personally can never get enough of the 3zun dynamic in smut fics its just too goddamn motherfucking GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

the stars do not take sides by everyearning (3zun, E, 4k)

Mingjue isn’t sure he’s ever seen Xichen do anything other than treat the boy like a porcelain doll and it’s laughable to him, to think of Meng Yao as something breakable, instead of the sharp, deadly object he is.

Okay one last “Destroy Meng Yao” 3zun fic! Enjoy!

never as alive as we are right now by ThirtySixSaveFiles (3zun, E, 12k)

Three perspectives on three sworn brothers, at three different times in their relationship.

(Or, three times 3zun got it on and some of the feelings they had along the way.)

Wait actually I want to end the 3zun fics on this one because it has true Emotional Resolution at the end and I think they deserve a little healing.

BABY BOYS. BABIES. (THE JUNIORS)

A Civil Combpaign by Ariaste (Jin Ling/Lan Sizhui, T, 20k) ***

“And,” said one of the pompous ministers, “there’s the matter of a marriage to consider as well!”

Jin Ling, who at the beginning of that sentence had expected to slam into the very last wall of his patience and lose his temper entirely, paused. “A what?”

Thing was… it wasn’t such a bad idea.

A MUST-FUCKING-READ!!! Jin Ling gets it in his head that as sect leader he should get married and sets his sights on Lan Sizhui. I cannot stress enough how FUCKING CUTE this fic is!!! Sizhui being the best boy! Jin Ling having more uncles than he knows what to do with! Jiang Cheng being the worst at relationship advice! It’s so fucking good it love it so much.

Anyway, Here’s Wuji by kakikaeru (Lan Jingyi/Lan Sizhui, T, 18k)

The melody gets a little clearer when he breaks out of the trees, and Jingyi changes course with certainty, barreling down the back hill and through the Cloud Recesses, dodging scandalized disciples left and right. He throws open the doors to the Receiving Hall without announcement and bows nearly double, eyes on the floor instead of on the shocked faces of the Mei delegation and the impenetrable gaze of the Chief Cultivator.

"Forgive this disciple," Jingyi shouts, because he's going to get punished for rule breaking regardless. "From the back hill, Hanguang-jun, there is a song in the wind!"

Lan Jingyi comes of age.

A Jingyi-central fic about Jingyi growing up and falling in love and being a hero and being the second best boy of my heart right after Sizhui. Not only is this fic sweet and romantic but it’s another one that explores a lot of interesting things within canon and all of the supporting characters are written very well and are just as interesting as second best boy Jingyi.

Ok, JiuJiu by kakikaeru (Jin Ling/Ouyang Zizhen, T, 16k)

Uncle's jaw works in the way that suggests he's about to say something irredeemable. Jin Ling, in a move of diplomacy he hopes the Chief Cultivator appreciates, distracts him with spicy food and his favourite subject: the incompetence of his own officials.

"I hear the lakes in the south east are having drainage problems?" he asks nonchalantly, sticking three big slices of braised pork belly into his Uncle's bowl.

Jin Ling just wants to get through the Discussion Conference with his Sect, his dignity, and his heart intact.

A follow up fic to “Anyways, Here’s Wuji.” I LOVE the Jin Ling/Ouyang Zizhen dynamic of Jin Ling having been raised by Jiang “I keep all my emotions right here and then one day I’ll die” Cheng AND being hopelessly charmed and smitten with Ouyang “President of the I Love Love Romance Novel Book Club” Zizhen! I LOVE IT! EXTREMELY CUTE!

Lan Sizhui's Guide to Courtship by Kimblydot (Lan Sizhui/Lan Jingyi, T, 23k)

In which Jingyi is a little oblivious, Sizhui is patient (and should have said something in the beginning), and everyone else is resigned to watching them dance around each other for far longer than necessary.

(Or: five things Sizhui tries to do in his courtship, and the one time Jingyi realizes there was one happening in the first place.)

I’ll stop describing fics about the juniors as being “cute” when they stop being SO FUCKING CUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

His Merit All My Fear by violettressed (Lan Sizhui/Lan Jingyi, G, 16k)

It’s too late for any of Hanguang-Jun’s rabbits to be awake -- one of the sundown chores for young disciples is to herd them back into their hutch -- but the rabbit field is as good a spot as any for quality sulking, so Lan Jingyi makes his way there.

Someone has beat him to it.

Lan Jingyi stares at Hanguang-Jun. Hanguang-Jun stares passively back.

When Lan Sizhui is swept away with the Ghost General, off on a new adventure, Lan Jingyi is the one who returns to Cloud Recesses alone.

Not only another extremely cute Sizhui/Jingyi fic BUT one that includes a Wangji/Jingyi friendship??? Incroyable! *chefs kiss*

spirit running wild by idrilka (Lan Sizhui/Lan Jingyi, E, 17k)

He doesn’t know, exactly, when the friendship he shared with Sizhui over the years has changed into something that’s made Jingyi finally understand why Hanguang-Jun always wears that expression whenever he looks at Senior Wei. There hasn’t been one single moment that he can point to and say, yes, this is where it started, because the thing about falling in love with your best friend is that it happens gradually, until it’s impossible to tell which step has been the deciding one.

Jingyi goes to Baling with a crush.

Written by the same genius that wrote the first three fics I made you read so you know it’s good. Its truly the childhood best friends to lovers of it all! Sizhui is adorable and Jingyi is a mess! *muah!*

FAMILY FUN TIME (NO ROMANCE, JUST FEELS)

Grow by cafecliche (Lan Sizhui & Wei Wuxian, T, 14k)

“Okay,” Jingyi says, as Sizhui puzzles this out aloud. “Okay! So the demon has been turning its victims into children.”

“I think so,” Sizhui says.

“To make them easier prey,” Jingyi says.

“Yes,” Sizhui says.

“So—” Jingyi’s voice cracks here, “this kid is Senior Wei.”

Wei Wuxian, still tangled in his own massive robes, blinks politely at them.

(Or: Wei Wuxian is cursed on a night-hunt, and the junior quartet rapidly finds themselves in over their heads.)

What I expected to be a goofy, silly fic turned out to be extremely emotional and made me FULLY CRY! It’s a very moving fic about Sizhui coming to understand himself and Wei Wuxian a lot better AND features all of the juniors arguing over who’s turn it is to hold 6 year old Wei Wuxian. A true win/win of a fic.

To The Act of Making Noise by words-writ-in-starlight (Lan Sizhui & Lan Wangji, G, 19k)

His father in white plays the song late into the night, and when A-Yuan wakes up confused and afraid, the guqin lulls him back to sleep.

Lan Sizhui hears his father play the same song every night for his whole life, and never, ever get an answer.

Another very moving and heartwarming fic about Lan Wangji raising Sizhui and Sizhui figuring out Wangji’s past and then eventually reconnecting with Wei Wuxian. It’s cute and soft and Sizhui is my best boy!

History (Proud To Call Your Own) by words-writ-in-starlight (Wen Ning, G, 5k)

“A-Yuan? Um—Lan-gongzi,” Wen Ning corrects, trying to set a good example. The children are young, seven and eight, exactly a dozen of them lined up in two crisp lines of tiny blue and white robes. Wen Ning can feel them staring at him, even though most of them have already mastered that Lan trick of neutrality. The smallest, a little girl with liquid dark eyes, is clinging to her nearest shijie’s sleeve and half-hiding. “Can I—what can I do for you?”

Wen Ning gets himself recruited for services, while he and Sizhui are visiting Cloud Recesses. Wei Wuxian gets a fan club.

Set in the same universe as “To The Act of Making Noise,” a very cute fic about Wen Ning finding his place in the post-canon world and being proud of Sizhui and being the world’s best substitute teacher. As the official Wen Ning Fan Club President, I had to include this.

the stone-filled sea by yukla (Lan Sizhui & Wei Wuxian, T, 9k) ***

He forgets how quickly Wei-qianbei changes faces, sometimes. Like pulling a theater mask over a bruise—color over color, a diversion with the swipe of his hand.

Lan Sizhui navigates a world that hates his father, one endless wave at a time.

Oh man oh man. I will never get enough of the fics where Sizhui (and the rest of the juniors) get ANGRY on Wei Wuxian’s behalf!! That’s their dad and their teacher and their friend and they will DEFEND HIM!!! YEAH BAYBEEEEEEEEEE!!!

PICK & MIX (MISCELLANEOUS)

This Side of Paradise by greenfionn (Wei Wuxian/Wen Qing, E, 3k)

Wei Wuxian does some very quick math in his head that goes something like this: He is pretty sure he’s in love with Lan Zhan - Lan Zhan is not here and likely never will be here - Wen Qing is here, not to mention very hot and let us not forget, actually interested in sex with him - there’s a solid chance he goes genuinely crazy or dies, or both, in the next few months and really, who wants to die a virgin?

Listen.......the fic premise is “Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing, noted bisexuals, figure life sucks enough at the Burial Mounds, they might as well have any fun they can before they die” and........I Am Looking Directly At It. It features Wen Qing bossing Wei Wuxian around and Wei Wuxian’s canon he-wants-to-be-pregnant kink. It’s........I liked it.

palm to palm is holy palmers’ kiss by iodhadh (Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen, M, 15k) ***

The realization strikes Song Lan like a bolt of lightning: Xiao Xingchen laughs, and he wants with a sudden, stunning desperation to kiss the mirth from his beautiful mouth. How, precisely, he is meant to manage that—that, he has no idea at all.

Or: introspective meditations on touch, trust, and the problem of desire.

I Am Baby and for some reason cannot handle how sad the entire Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen storyline ended up so I rarely read songchen fics, and when I do they’re always soft pre-canon fics like this one. Luckily there are some very beautiful and moving pre-canon songchen fics!!! I love you fandom!!

purpose and ritual by iodhadh (Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen, E, 8k)

Song Zichen has beautiful hands. He's a powerful swordsman, strong and skilled, unfairly impressive and unreasonably handsome. He is devoted and self-disciplined and he takes direction like a dream. And he doesn't touch people—no one at all, if he can help it, except for Xiao Xingchen.

The poets might call him a saint, but Xiao Xingchen is so very, very human.

More of the same :-)

born to sweet delight by la_dissonance (Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen, E, 10k)

Xiao Xingchen lightly jumps into the center of the pool, the water a shock that cools his sticky, heated skin, and does nothing for the heat building inside him. When he surfaces, pushing the hair out of his face, he finds Song Lan's gaze and meets it. Between them, everything goes both ways. What Song Lan will offer, Xiao Xingchen will freely give too.

Or, Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan meet, pledge their lives to each other, and then fall in love.

This is about the angstiest I will go for songchen and its still absolutely Baby Soft lmfao!!!!!!

Pin it down by rheawrites (Jiang Yanli/Jin Zixuan, Jin Zixuan/Nie Mingjue, E, 2k)

“Yanli, I did not lie on our wedding night. You are the only woman I have gone to bed with. But… there was a man.”

“Oh?” Yanli blinks up at him. She does not appear horrified, or betrayed, which is surely a good sign.

Jin Zixuan swallows. “It was Sect Leader Nie,” he says quickly, as though that will make it easier.

“…Oh,” says Yanli, and her eyes are dark.

-

Jin Zixuan tells his wife a war story. Or, two thousand words of Jin Zixuan getting railed.

Have you ever looked at Jin Zixuan and been like “I bet that mf likes getting PEGGED!!!!!!!!” Well here’s the fic for you. 

*YIBO VOICE* DIDI LOVES YOU! (YIZHAN RPF)

never really over by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 10k)

The thing is: it would be good to see Xiao Zhan again — if Yibo could just trust himself to be normal.

Author gdgdbaby is the yizhan master, so here are five of my personal favorites of their fics, starting with this post-filming reunion fic that was the first yizhan fic I ever read and HIT real good after having just finished the show myself.

pedagogy by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 17k) ***

Yibo opens his mouth and says, "I want to learn," barreling past the rapid rise of Xiao Zhan's eyebrows. "To last longer. Will you teach me?"

Quick-fire Yibo comes too easily and Xiao Zhan helps train him to last longer :-)

you’re the reason that i just can’t concentrate by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 10k)

Xiao Zhan hears about it from Yu Bin, which probably should've been the first warning sign.

Yibo was only 20 when they filmed the untamed, which lends itself perfectly to fics like this.

a truth so loud you can’t ignore by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 5k)

It's their last day of filming in Hengdian when the secret comes out.

If yibo has to be a fictional virgin than SO DOES XIAO ZHAN!

if you would only let you by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 32k) ***

"Well?" Yibo demands. Past the severe frown tugging at the corners of his mouth, a flicker of the old him slips through, the persistent boy who shoved his way into Xiao Zhan's space without a second thought and made a home for himself there. "Are you coming or not?"

Xiao Zhan's heart twists. He forcibly settles it back in his chest. He's only told Yibo no once in his entire life, and it was already the hardest thing he's ever had to do. "Okay," Xiao Zhan murmurs, quiet but decisive, and thumbs his phone off. "Let's go."

Like I said, all gdgdbaby fics are incredibly good, super well written, and very hot, but this one does stand out from the bunch for being a Full Epic Romance! This is one of Chi’s favorite fics so that should speak to it’s quality!

baby, who’s counting by nobirdstofly (Yizhan, E, 12k)

Xiao Zhan gasps, trying to rein in another peal of giggles. “What do I owe you anyway?”

Yibo shrugs one shoulder, and his smirk deepens. “Haven’t decided.”

Xiao Zhan’s still staring at him, laughter gone in his dry throat, when he hears someone yell for a reset. Yibo’s eyes are so, so dark, and he hasn’t stopped watching Xiao Zhan this whole time. Xiao Zhan swallows, nods, and pushes every dirty thought out of his head.

(Or: Yibo bets Xiao Zhan he'll break first during a take, Xiao Zhan loses, and it's all downhill from there.)

Ah sex bets, who doesn’t love sex bets!

Mystery Dance by mrsronweasley (Yizhan, E, 16k)

"That? That's your confession?" Yibo's toppled onto Xiao Zhan's side and is clutching his shoulder, trying not to fall over. "That's pathetic!"

"Oh, what, you can do better?" Zhuocheng is pretty flushed and there's a challenge in his voice that Yibo just can't walk away from.

"Hell yeah, I can. Hit me, Yu Bin." Yu Bin cheers and refills Yibo's shot glass. "All right!" Yibo downs the shot, gags only slightly, and says, "Everyone! I'm a fucking virgin!"

WHAT’S better than a Yibo virgin fic? A SECOND YIBO VIRGIN FIC!

This author also writes extremely good yizhan threesomes so here’s three of them!

Some Nights by mrsronweasley (Yizhan/Xuan Lu (Jiang Yanli), E, 2k)

Xuan Lu opened her legs to him and Xiao Zhan wasted no time diving in. He pressed his mouth against her pussy, licking her out steadily as her thighs trembled around him. She was nestled between Yibo's legs and if Xiao Zhan looked up, not only could he see the planes of her body, her small breasts going up and down with her breathing, ribs expanding, her tipped back head and open mouth, but Yibo, gaze boring into Xiao Zhan's as he ate Xuan Lu out.

The entire cast is hot and there is no reason they shouldn’t ALL fuck! Not one reason!!!!!!

gege loves you by mrsronweasley (Yizhan/Wang Zhuocheng (Jiang Cheng)), E, 7k)

"We are very sorry," Xiao Zhan murmured as he unbuttoned Zhuocheng's jeans while Yibo kissed his ear, "for how we've been acting."

"Is this how you apologize to everyone," Zhuocheng panted, hands already going for his zipper to help Xiao Zhan along, "or am I special?"

WHEW LORD!!!!!!!!! WHEW!!!!!!!

Talking in the Dark by mrsronweasley (Yizhan (Side Xiao Zhan/M/F), E, 14k)

Xiao Zhan has a light-hearted romp of a threeway with some friends, then makes the mistake of telling Yibo. It goes down.

A non-yizhan threesome BUT features jealous!yibo which is a ton of fun.

Finally, a couple AUs!

With Joy and Purpose by feenwitch (Yizhan, E, 30k) ***

Yibo has been alone for approximately five Earth years when Xiao Zhan crash lands on his planet.

YIZHAN ANDROID AU!!!!!!!! This is a very star trek-esque universe which is fun, but the fic itself is also CRAZY interesting and moving and beautiful!!!!!!!!! It’s A LOT! This was a rec from Nina, so thank you Nina!

Bound With a Same-Heart Knot by mrsronweasley (Yizhan, E, 59k)

London, 1892. Xiao Zhan, a promising young attache at the Chinese embassy is tasked with showing the new ambassador's son Wang Yibo around London. The inevitable happens.

Victorian AU! I actually think you already read this, but included for posterity.

AND SCENE! This is the result of two months of daily fic reading, having 50 tabs of fic open at any given time, reading truly anything and everything, and Loving The Untamed. I’m SO EXCITED you’re diving into fic for this show and I can’t wait to talk to you about all of them and to have someone to scream with! WOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Lucien’s Fireworks Date

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date which has not been released in English servers! 🍒

A very observant anon sent this in to provide some context as to where this date fits into the main storyline!

Am here to fulfil @superlemniscate’s wish of seeing this cancelled CN date translated 🍮 

More from this Collection: Gavin // Kiro // Victor

The date begins with MC waking up in a hospital because she fainted from overwork.

Lucien comes into the ward just as she is about to call Anna to check on work. It has been half a month since they last met, so seeing him now leaves her with mixed feelings and an inexplicable happiness.

MC: I haven’t seen you in a long time…

Lucien: You wanted to see me very badly?

MC: I didn’t mean it that way…

Lucien: It has indeed been a long time. It felt like a long winter.

MC: It wasn’t that long, we met…

Before I can finish, Lucien towers over me, caging me in his shadow.

Lucien: It’s been so long, and you still haven’t learnt how to take care of yourself.

He looks like he has more to say, but stops himself.

MC: It’s just gastric…

Lucien: … Then what kind of sickness falls outside “just”? You really…

He pauses, and a coldness appears in his eyes. I’ve never seen such a Lucien before.

MC: I’ll take better care next time…

Hearing this, he sighs. He rubs the top of my head gently, as he did in the past.

Lucien: …There wouldn’t be a next time. Come, be good and lie down. Rest early.

Lucien sits at a corner quietly.

Lucien: I’ll keep you company here.

I watch him silently and notice his deep eyebags.

Did Lucien set aside his work to hurry here? He’s already in such a state and still wants to take care of me…

With this in mind, I flash him a big smile.

MC: I suddenly feel a little tired. You don’t have to accompany me, I’ll be fine!

Lucien gently pinches my face, a look of resignation on his face.

Lucien: But there is a silly little girl who has expended my trust. If she wants me to believe her, I have to stay here and ensure that she’s asleep.

My cheeks grow red, and I hide my face under the covers.

Lucien: Or… are you trying to chase me away?

MC: No, I’m just worried about you… You don’t look too well.

Lucien: Don’t worry. Staying here with you is a form of rest. It’s better than being anywhere else.

He says this with assurance, and I can only nod.

Lucien: My only task for today is to stay by your side until you fall asleep. If you continue being energetic and waking up, I wouldn’t be able to complete my task. So, could I trouble this lady to cooperate?

My eyes are covered by his large, gentle hand. It blocks out the white light from the hospital room, and blocks out everything that worries me.

That cold Lucien I saw just now seems to have just been a hallucination.

His low voice seems to carry with it a certain magic, and I temporarily forget the pain in my abdomen, and obediently close my eyes.

A sudden tiredness comes with the warmth from Lucien’s palm, and takes over my entire body.

The date switches to Lucien’s POV and explains how worried he felt when he heard MC was in the hospital

He doesn’t know what he is anxious about. He doesn’t know why he feels angry.

Only when he sees the girl, and sees her caring for him, does Lucien understand that this anger is all because of one person.

Because he has learnt an emotion called “worry”.

Lucien stays until he has nothing else to do, tucks her in a little more, then leaves.

MC wakes up to find that Lucien is gone. Anna calls to check on her and assure MC that everything is all right, but MC can tell that something has gone wrong at work because she hears quarrelling in the background.

She’s prepared to leave the hospital but trips into the arms of none other than Lucien.

MC: …Lucien?!

Lucien doesn’t respond, keeping his arm around my waist, his eyes boring a hole into me. His expression is unreadable, and I am filled with guilt.

MC: Why haven’t you left?

Lucien’s eyes trail to the back of my hand where I had injections earlier, frowning.

Before I can make sense of the situation, I am lifted and wrapped into Lucien’s warm arms.

The people walking past us stop and stare, some even whispering amongst themselves.

MC: Lucien, I…

Lucien: Be good.

He ends with these two words. Carrying me, we return to the ward.

A tense atmosphere hangs in the air. There is some coolness in Lucien’s embrace, and his cold buttons are on my face. The tension dissipates slightly after he sets me down on the bed.

Lucien holds my hand, gently applying pressure and rubbing the back of my hand.

Lucien: Does it hurt?

MC: No, no it doesn’t.

Lucien’s eyelid moves slightly. He looks at me silently for a while, indifferent, his eyes having within them a faint light. Although there doesn’t seem to be a change in his mood, I can sense a sort of anger hidden in his calm expression.

Lucien: Mm. I’ll make a move then.

Lucien’s tone has become a little cold. He turns around, taking large steps as he leaves the ward.

Is he angry?

For a moment, I forget the reason why I even left the ward in the first place. I am in a daze, watching the open door and not knowing what to do.

MC: [groans in pain]

My abdominal pain returns, and I hurriedly grab some medicine off the bedside and swallow them.

MC: Where’s my cup…

A shadow crosses in front of me. My vision becomes clear after a moment of dizziness.

A glass of warm water appears in my hand.

MC: Lucien… Didn’t you leave?

Lucien just stares at me.

Lucien: It’s not hot anymore.

Lucien’s tone is steady. I nod, drink the water, and return the cup to him.

I don’t dare to look into his eyes, the guilt eating me as I keep my head lowered.

MC: I… I just wanted to go to the office and then return to the hospital…

Lucien releases a long sigh.

Lucien: You always say you’ll take care of yourself and not worry me… When exactly can I stop worrying about you?

The way he says the second sentence is as though he is confused and doubting himself.

MC: I’m sorry that I’m always making you worry and for going back on my word… But this time, I definitely have to go to the office.

I look at Lucien and say this with complete resolution.

Lucien lets me sit down, lowers himself, and lifts his head to face me.

Lucien: Can you tell me why?

MC explains the importance of being there for the sake of ensuring the film has no issues, and to make the people around her proud.

Lucien: You think that is enough to ease my worries?

He exudes an unfamiliar aura, different from the gentleness that I am used to.

Lucien: I’m the advisor of your programme, so I can take your place instead. Or do you not trust me?

MC: That’s not it. I trust that you can settle the problem. But… I want to rely on myself this time!

I resolutely say what is in my heart, and meet Lucien’s gaze without hesitation.

Lucien: The doctor told me that you still need to be kept under observation for one day. If you still want to go, I won’t stop you.

I stare into his unreadable eyes, think about the situation at the studio, and make a decision.

MC: I want to go.

As though he didn’t expect that I would remain steadfast in my decision, a flash of astonishment crosses his eyes as he slowly releases his hold on my hand.

He stands up, putting some distance between us.

I steady myself, ignoring the pain in my abdomen, and walk out of the ward.

Lucien follows me from behind, maintaining a distance between us. I secretly sneak a peek behind me, and can only see his calm expression and his lips pressed together tightly.

When I turn back, someone knocks into me.

MC: I’m sorry I’m sorry…

I hold on to the railing, apologizing profusely. Lucien stands behind me, silently watching.

In the past, Lucien would have pulled me aside to prevent this from happening. Today, he doesn’t seem to have much of a reaction. He must be really angry with me…

A bitter sensation arises in my chest. Even when faced with difficulties in work, I’ve never experienced such a feeling before.

Thinking about this, I speed up my footsteps.

The footsteps behind me follow suit. In a corner without sunlight, he grips my wrist.

I bite my lips and not turn back.

With a long sigh, Lucien stands in front of me.

Lucien: Don’t walk so quickly.

For some unfathomable reason, when I hear this, there is a sour taste in my mouth.

Lucien: I’ll send you there.

He takes off his outercoat and places it over me. It’s a warmth I am used to, yet it feels a little foreign.

I want to get close to him, but Lucien maintains a distance between us.

MC resolves the issue at work, and notices Lucien talking to the external producer. By the time she’s done, it’s already dark.

Lucien remains by my side, but is completely silent.

It’s usually a short route home, but it seems like an inordinate amount of time passes before I finally reach my door.

MC: Today-

Lucien: It’s late, rest early. Goodnight.

Only for a second, Lucien’s lips curl into a smile. He turns to leave.

Looking at his retreating form, I feel an indescribable emotion.

When did the distance between us feel like a gigantic chasm?

I want to muster my courage to run forward, just like in the past, hold Lucien’s hand, and say “thank you” and “I’m sorry.”

But I am deterred by the indifferent expression I saw when we were in the hospital corridor. 

Even after he disappears through the door, I am unable to take a single step.

~

This is the fifth day that Lucien and I have had no communication. I can feel him putting deliberate distance between us.

I turn on my phone, looking through my chats. The last message sent was on that night.

The message reads: I’m sorry for worrying you today.

It sits in my chat list without a response.

I keep turning my phone on, then turning it off.

This is the first time I want to reach out, but I don’t dare to do it.

There are sounds coming from outside the window. MC goes to the balcony and sees the sky filled with fireworks.

MC: It’s already the firework festival… I even planned to go see them with Lucien…

I never thought that the day would come and I’d be watching them alone.

I suddenly recall something. I run into the study room and retrieve two tickets to the firework festival from within a book.

MC: I even secretly bought them as a surprise…

It’d have been great if I didn’t make him angry or made up with him.

I turn around. A building blocks my view of the fireworks, and I can only see them as they dissipate into the night.

By the time I come to my senses, I’ve already put on a jacket, gripping onto the tickets, and standing at my door.

Even before I knock at Lucien’s door, the phone in my hand starts ringing. It’s Lucien.

Lucien: MC, are you at the balcony?

His voice is a little faint, and I nod my head hurriedly, running to the balcony.

MC: Yeah, yeah. You-

When I step onto the balcony, I am frozen to the spot. The tickets in my hand fall to the ground without a sound.

Our balconies separated by a mere metre, I see Lucien holding a stick of fireworks with a small smile towards me.

A gentle breeze tousles through his hair, clothes. His eyes are illuminated by the starlight.

It feels like a beautiful and faraway dream.

Tears spill from my eyes. The more they fall, the worse my crying becomes.

I hear footsteps. In a second, I am wrapped in his arms, and he holds me as though he would never let go ever again.

Lucien: Don’t cry.

Hearing his voice, the day’s sadness, worry, and conflicting emotions are mixed into my tears as they continue flowing.

Lucien holds onto my face, gently wiping the pearly droplets away.

Is this a hallucination? In the night, it looks like his eyes are tinged slightly red.

Lucien: I’m sorry. I don’t have anything for your tears. So… don’t cry.

I try my best to suppress my tears, nodding my head vigorously.

MC: I’m s-sorry, it’s my fault. I just keep thinking… that I can’t keep relying on you, that I don’t want to disappoint the people around me, and yet I keep hurting them…

Lucien presses his forehead to mine, his eyes full of emotions, as though he wants to lock me within them.

I’ve never seen him in such a state of regret.

Lucien: It’s not your fault. You did very well. I’m the one who didn’t.

He closes his eyes, his fingers gently massaging my face.

Lucien: Silly, you’re not the one relying on me. I’m the one relying on you. Don’t cry anymore. You can be angry with me all you want, okay?

I wipe my tears and take in deep breaths.

MC: No more anger. Let’s both not be angry anymore.

Lucien: Mm, no more. Not even in the future.

I close my eyes, leaning my forehead onto his. In this moment, my heart, which was in a state of chaos before, finally settles.

Lucien: I’m sorry for being late.

A magnificent firework blooms in the sky along with Lucien’s voice.  

I shake my head, looking into his eyes with a serious expression.

MC: It’s all right, I don’t feel like going to the firework festival anymore.

Lucien: Hm?

MC: We have this!

I lift up the sparklers in Lucien’s hands, my eyes crinkling upwards into a smile.

Lucien gently wipes the tear streaks off my face, and holds my hand.

Lucien: They are all yours.

MC: That’s wonderful, this shall be our firework festival!

Lucien takes out a lighter, setting a sparkler alight.

The tiny, bright, star-like fire light is within reach.

I lift my head to look at Lucien, and then at the sparkler. My heart is energized by joy and contentedness.

Lucien: Do you like sparklers this much?

MC: Yes! Don’t you think they look like stars? We can even touch them.

Lucien laughs, taking out another stick. Pressing it to the tip of mine, the little light travels over to his stick.

Just like this, we keep the flame alight with the other sparklers, happy and amused.

Lucien: Right now, we have the entire starry sky.

I wave the sparklers in my hands happily. 

One stick, two sticks, three sticks… like shooting starts that have fallen onto the balcony.

The small sounds from the sparklers are covered by the larger fireworks in the distance. 

The small starlight in our hands cannot be compared to the light produced by the fireworks at our backs.

But, we are truly happy.

Lucien: Be careful, don’t get it on your clothes.

MC: I’m not afraid!

I laugh, handing my firework stick to him.

Lucien pauses for a long time, then suddenly takes both of my hands, pulling me into his arms.

MC: Be careful, your clothes!

Lucien: I’m not afraid either.

MC: Not afraid of even this?

I boldly embrace him. Lucien laughs, encasing me even more tightly.

I seem to have fallen into his trap. I think for a moment-

MC: Ahh, the flame has really gotten onto your shirt…

Lucien: At most, you can just pay me back.

MC: How does that even work…

I flush and try to escape, but am afraid that the flame would really get onto his shirt, so I remain in place.

Our heartbeats resound in the surroundings.

Lucien lets go of me, pinching my nose.

Lucien: If you like it, we can do this frequently next time.

I ponder for a moment, then shake my head.

MC: We can’t do that, or else today would no longer be precious.

A gentle wind blows by, and another firework blooms behind us. The flickering stars are reflected his eyes.

Lucien: … Silly.

A little tired, I half-lean into Lucien’s arms, holding on to one firework stick.

Lucien’s chest is pressed against my back, his chin lightly propped on the top of my head. He takes both me and the tiny firework into his arms.

This small area has become our entire world.

MC: Lucien, our film has already finished. I want to invite you to the screening the day after tomorrow.

Lucien: Why?

MC: Because no matter how it turns out, I want to share it with you. I want to make you proud.

Lucien’s chin slides to the side of my cheek, and his touch carries with it his unique scent.

Lucien: All right. Do you know that you’ve already made me very proud?

MC: What if I fail?

Lucien: Even if you fail, you are still you. Don’t shoulder all the stress by yourself.

MC: Mm… But if the result turns out bad, I might cry really badly.

Lucien: Then I’d have to help this cry baby wipe her tears, hold her hand, and bring her home.

I burst out laughing. This is Lucien, the Lucien I am most familiar with, and the most genuine Lucien.

MC: That day, I saw you talking to the external producer. What were you two discussing?

Lucien: I told him that this fledgling would leave an indelible mark on this programme’s history.

He says this with certainty and seriousness.

So he was already helping me back then… and I still thought he was angry…

I bury my head in Lucien’s chest, and mutter…

MC: Lucien, can I take back what I just said?

Lucien: And that is?

MC: In future, let’s play with sparklers every six months.

Lucien: All right.

The flame from the sparkler in my hand finally extinguishes.

On the balcony, Lucien hugs the girl tightly. 

He hugs the only ray of light in the dark expanse of night.

There are still glimmers of light in Lucien’s pupils from the girl’s lively face.

He recalls his cruelty in the hospital corridor.

He recalls the anxiety-ridden life he led over the past five days.

And right now, he quietly enjoys a rare instance of life’s peacefulness.

Since he has decided to protect this girl’s innocence, he would not force her to grow up.

He will set them aside - those plans that have already taken form.

This time, he has decided to temporarily halt his footsteps.

Until his rose is sufficiently independent and strong.

[drshebloggo]

how to make WW84 a stronger movie

As sort of requested, here’s a beefed-up version of the list of notes I made watching WW84 because I was getting cranky with the execution of this movie and couldn’t help but jot down ideas. I WANTED to love this thing but the script was not selling its ideas to best effect.

For me, I think there were a few challenges inherent in the movie they wanted to make. BUT with a few different choices here and there in the way the story was told, it would’ve improved its impact without sacrificing what they were going for with tone and characters. 

CHALLENGE #1: this movie is set SO far in the future from the events of the first film. 65 years have passed, and Diana is still just gliding somberly through her life and that makes me SAD. All her friends are dead! She’s on her own and cursed with immortality!! She lives in an ‘80s decor sadness chamber surrounded by photos and memories of people she’ll never see again!!!

And yet the film gave us no real textual information about that. They did the laziest thing possible, which was pan the camera around a million photos on mantles and told us NOTHING. Literally WHAT has Diana done for the past, say, THIRTY YEARS since her Earth Friends all died without her??? Has she literally made NO OTHER friends? She’s still sad about Steve 65 years later and nothing else has progressed?

This lack of specificity leaves Diana fading in the lead role of her own movie despite the fact that there’s TONS of material there that they just... ignored. For me, she read flat, which bummed me out majorly. Her best stuff was with Steve because that actually MEANS something. But it’s all she’s got in this film. They didn’t bother filling in any other information about her life. 

FIX IT: literally just make Barbara already friends with Diana at the beginning. Not only does it make Diana more interesting, it reduces the sheer amount of exposition that the film piles on in the first 45 minutes. This also means you can bring Steve back sooner than the 45 minute mark, which would help grease the wheels in the first third of the movie. And it also means that Diana losing Barbara to inhumanity would actually have a greater impact on Diana beyond “oh my kooky new friend turned into an evil cat; this is vexing.”

CHALLENGE #2: the tone is WILDLY different than the tone of the first. They went from WWI trench warfare to shopping malls and fanny packs. It’s a HUGE tone shift, and it takes some getting used to. But there are good things to it; namely it provides great comedy for Steve, who is a definite bright spot in the movie. 

Overall I’m on board with doing a superhero movie that pivots away from grit and darkness and toward camp and comedy, and it’s cool to do something new rather than reiterate the same tone from the first film. But I think they could’ve done more to sell the tone shift. 

There are HIJINKS inherent in the premise that I’m guessing were fairly unilaterally unexpected. There’s a vaguely historical magic WISHING STONE and three buffoons each made a wish and turned shit upside down. I myself wish that Maxwell and Barbara and Diana were rendered in triplicate, as equal collaborators in this batshittery. I don’t think you’re watering down Diana’s role as lead (no more than giving her no other emotions to play than sadness) by doing so, and it even works nicely to own the idea that Max and Barbara are on equal narrative ground as Diana.

As far as the villainy goes, Max is more recognizably a Bad Guy, but Barbara is NOT, and it’s fascinating to show at least Diana and Barbara working together but slowly falling apart as shit goes SIDEWAYS. Hijinks can be zany and also meaningful! What if a villain is just a friend who wants something different than you and you have to come to terms with that and stop them from doing dumb shit? There’s an element of screwball to this premise and I wanted them to lean in more. This would also give Diana more to do than cry and fight.

FIX IT: show Barbara getting her powers using the same tropes of other superheroes getting their powers and figuring them out. Play it like she’s Peter Parker finding out she’s Spider-man. Hell, do a montage with all three of them using/abusing their powers: Barbara beating the shit out of things, Maxwell manipulating people, Steve and Diana making the fuck out and enjoying the shit out of it. These are the joys of wish fulfillment! 

AND, if they had set up the rules of the artifact beforehand (see Challenge #3), then the audience would know they were watching very happy people who are going to have their LIVES RUINED SOON. And that is good storytelling. (Maybe this is oversimplified, but honestly half of good storytelling is just making the audience feel two opposite emotions at the same time. The other half is dramatic irony, which would also apply to this trio montage.)

CHALLENGE #3: What the hell are the rules of this magic wishing artifact anyways??? The audience should know them before the characters do. The way this movie doled out information was bananas. They waited right before they were going to the tell the audience something to show us what they were about to tell us. Just show us earlier and tell the characters later!!! That way WE’LL already know because we’ve seen it, and THEY’RE not saddled with expositional dialogue to make sure the audience follows the idea.

FIX IT: For the love of humanity, nix the opening sequence with the horse race and make it about the damn stone!! Rip off Lord of the Rings and tell the history of the innocent but dangerous thing. Rip off Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and animate something about how it gives wishes at a cost. Hell, let Connie Nielsen and Robin Wright(’s unbelievably ripped arms) tell young Diana the story so they can still hang out and be a part of the film! Throw in some lore about the gods, just to remind us where Diana comes from and her belief system, and we’re good to go.

While you’re at it, toss in the whole point of the film into the moral that Diana’s moms impart to her at a young age. It’s not a spoiler. We don’t wonder if 1984 Diana will do the right thing. She does not need to LEARN this moral. She already knows the moral, but she still has to make the hard choice to let Steve go and of course it doesn’t come easy.

In summary: that horse race had little to do with the rest of the movie and it’s wasted story space, especially for setting up the entire magical premise that the movie hinges on, let alone the actual message of the film.

CHALLENGE #4: Do we care about Maxwell and his kiddo enough to rest the entire movie’s resolution on it? Ehhhh. The glimpses into young Max’s abuse is another example of showing information RIGHTBEFORE it’s important, rather than setting it up earlier to pay off later. It’s a far weaker choice.

FIX IT: Age up Alistair. If he’s a teen or preeteen, then the stakes feel higher because it seems more monumental to undo the trauma of neglect at that age. Much like in his business pursuits, the clock is ticking and Max is running out of opportunities for success in all realms of his life.

Maybe show Maxwell trying to reason with Alistair earlier in the movie, saying that he’s a good dad because he’s not as bad a dad as his own father. It shows us how he justifies his behavior, gives us the information that he had an abusive dad, and gives an actual interaction between father and son other than “daddy you’re not here�� and “shhh son here’s a pony.”

Possible other fix-it which connects to other fixes: what if Barbara actually renounces her wish before Max does? It should be more painful to the audience to lose Barbara to her wish because we’ve technically LIKED her at one point. She means something to Diana, and so she means something to us. Honestly, the audience has rooted for her independent of Diana! The scene where she realizes she’s not powerless against her harasser but then completely loses herself in violence against him? One of the movie’s best. It’s pretty dissatisfying that she just goes completely off the deep end and then nothing with her is resolved after the wishes are broken.

But, with the way the movie is set up, the big emotional climax is the scene of Diana getting through to Max/the entire planet, so it’s hard to undo that and give it to Barbara instead, considering that it won’t wrap up the plot. But geez, do SOMETHING with Barbara that’s based in actual emotions. Don’t hinge your entire movie’s emotional resolve on a father-son relationship that’s two-dimensional and doesn’t have anything to do with the main character! You had emotional investment in Barbara; use it!!

At the very least, have Diana get through to Barbara in some way, either before Maxwell renounces or after, and maybe even intercut it with Max and his kid. 

CHALLENGE #5: I experience great existential malaise at watching a mylar balloon drift off into the ether. Was there no better visual for the final moments of the film? Asking for myself, and also the planet. (This one is mostly a joke... but seriously, you guys, the PLANET.)

[irkenheretic]

okay i promised id do it and im doing it: Explaining The Plot Of That AU I’m Vague About: The Post

(as i was preparing to write this i actually got my 250th follower, which slapped)

so i’m just gonna start with the simple version, which is this: it’s a rebel AU which primarily centers around the tallest, who are both defective. they give up on trying to make any meaningful changes as figureheads, and instead direct their attention to being involved with the “neo defect revolution,” or NDR. they do manage to make one change as tallest- there is a garbage dump planet turned into a sanctuary for defectives (who in this au are executed once discovered,) and eventually enough of the populace finds out about it that the tallest have to deal with it. they finesse their way into kicking it out of the empire, so now it’s its own planet with its own rules, governments, and most importantly, immigration policies and protections

a lot of stuff happens and it’s gonna be structured using arcs, and each arc has a separate protagonist/deuteragonist/tritagonist lineup (but that doesnt mean the same lineup won’t be used multiple times!) and yes the insane list of OCs are for this au alone: some arcs are very OC-centric, some have OCs as supporting characters, and a couple are all-OC or mostly-OC. 

its going to be very longform and it’ll span from the tallest’s elite training days to twenty years after zim arrives on earth. (the 20 year gap btwn zim arriving on earth and the story proper isnt as tightly plotted as later tho.) the point is to see how a revolution on the scale of the NDR works, who was fucked over by defact laws, who was fucked over by other laws, etc. theres a lot of lore and a lot of headcanons i made for this AU and even a conlang. i am a being of hubris. itll be a series of fics, some multichapter and some oneshots. 

the series as a whole is gonna be called Invader Zim: Annexed or just Annexed for short. its a pun on an irken word that sounds similar but means the exact opposite. i am not explaining more bc itll be explained in the fic itself. but thats why the tag for it is #anx lmao

i didnt mean for this to be as long as it got but under the cut im gonna breakdown some of the early arcs:

so it all starts with a fanfic called Love Is The H-Word (no the “h-word” isn’t “hell.) it centers around red and purple as elites-in-training, who do a little whoopsie and have an egg. purple doesnt wanna smuggle it into a smeetery, bc then he’ll never see it again, so they go to the defect sanctuary (still a part of the empire at this point.) purple knows he’s defective while red has a hard time accepting that he is as well, due to events from his past. but being around all these other defects are starting to wear down his denial, and the fic is all about that. it also sets up some plot stuff, like how defects adopted a self-identifier in the word “heretic,” hence the sanctuary being named, “heretirk.” (hey look my url!) (no, the “h-word” is not heretic, either.) 

i dont wanna say what happens in that fic bc spoilers, but stuff Happens. its also when we meet some ocs that end up being important, and the existence of others are foreshadowed. this is also where we meet the tallests’ future advisor, rarl kove, for the first time, as a local who decides to keep them company. purple bonds with kove due to their shared interest in politics, while red reluctantly bonds with titch, a young irken (a smeet in heretirken standards, an adult in imperial standards- did i mention he and red are roughly the same age? lol) who is interested in military stuff and thrill-seeking and general destruction. titch is pissed because he claims his father is stealthing on devastis as a military commander, but won’t let titch sneak in as a soldier, as titch is deaf. 

(fun facts: in the au, “titch” is regional slang for “a little bit.” ironically, titch the character is above-average in height.)

due to titch’s deafness, he developed “gesturespeak,” irken sign language, so he can communicate. this existing becomes important later

a oneshot called invade the system is right after h-word in publishing order. it details zim’s exploits in leaving foodcourtia, where he was assigned and infiltrating the invading academy he eventually graduates from (in this au, zim is too short to be an invader, which sucks because the hight minimums for the military are really short to begin with lmao)

the fic chronoligically after H-Word focuses on red and purple being back in their platoon on devastis, specifically red navigating his training and his relationships with two defective platoonmates, pon and zi (who are in h-word a little,) after the realization that he too is defective. it also focuses on how the irken military works, and how they train their soldiers. 

the first arc overall focuses on red and purple going thru training and such, and ends after they graduate and are on the field, working to get commander rank. (they planned to gain commander rank then leave and go back to heretirk to train an army there, as heretirk has.... no army.) in the middle of this, they’re pulled out and told they are to become the next tallest. they debate over staying and taking the job or just running to heretirk, and they ultimately decide to stay.

the next arc i call the “bridge,” tbh. its less tightly plotted than the other arcs; fics are spread apart from each other chronologically and all that. it spans the time after the tallest being appointed to a little after zim arrives on earth. it also has a couple of anthologies focusing on imperial defects- each chapter is a new character. these guys are all important and the easiest way for me to introduce their backstories without cluttering everything up is anthology style, lmao. other things that happen are a look into how the tallest work, eventually culminating with the resolution of the tallest having to Deal With Heretirk, tenn’s rescue from meekrob, and zim on earth obtaining a half-irken smeet named pip due to stealing an Unethical Science Experiment from dib (which is pip.) the bridge is basically just. “heres some stuff that happens between point A and point B so when we get to point B you’re not confused as all hell.” 

the next arc focuses on zim. in the first fic, pip is sick and zim is trying to get into his neighbor’s pants, to cope. this basically sets up that zim in this au has no idea how to find personal fulfillment in living- he’s only OK if he focuses on pleasing someone else, be it taking care of pip or doting on the neighbor, some rando human named piqu (pronounced, “peek.”) this is mainly a cute romance story with the underlying veneer of “a child is slowly and painfully dying” in the background. fun! 

without spoiling the circumstances, zim and pip end up on heretirk, which at this point is its own independent planet. pip is in the hospital for most of it so zim has to do his own thing. computer fans rejoice bc hes basically zims dad at this point, who tells him to go outside and get some fresh air and talk to the locals instead of schmooping or screaming in anxiety. im sneakily introducing more characters like ini, the “next-gen zim;” a short bio-engineer (she works on PAKs) who was constantly passed over by everyone because they dont trust someone that short or they dont trust someone that spazzy, even though shes actually brilliant. also her brother mo, who’s a pilot that NOBODY will teach military-class ships to (at this point, HTK has a population of ex-military that had their old ships, but still no formal army) because he doesnt talk and they think hes “slow” as a result. for the curious, he is physically able to talk most times, he just doesnt like it. zim ends up teaching him how to fly military-class which ends up being important laterrr

(haha ini and mo. wheres meenie and minie? ILL GET TO THEM)

no really, theyre quadruplets. named ini, myni, minie, and mo. these are real characters. 

minie isnt introduced till later. shes too cool to be the side character in someone elses arc. she is feel uncomfortable when we are not about her.

myni is busy palling around with pip and pip’s friend “elly” (real name elevenn, with two N’s.) elly is a half-meekrob War Crime Baby and tenn’s smeet. he has vision problems (he can “see” energy signatures of things, as opposed to conventional sight. everything is monochrome and he has to really focus to see like, words on a paper. also fuck tablets) but the trade-up is telekinetic powers (that he cant use too much or his brain will melt. fun!) this isnt relevant until the arc AFTER zim’s, where they end up poking around a historical site due to myni’s interest in that kind of thing, and they find logs of an old revolution (that was actually pretty successful in their goal, before they were caught and executed,) that lead them to a man named lefy. he helps with revolutions and helped these guys, and the trio go to seek him out; myni because he wants to impress his parents with helping them, pip because after they’ve recovered enough to walk around and do stuff, feel like they need to justify the choice to save their life and make their dad proud and all that, elly because he doesnt want pip to get hurt and die. And thats where the stuff REALLY starts happening and i cant tell u more sorry

this seemed kind of disjointed but thats bc i cant really be too detailed otherwise id like.... spoil it lmfao. but thats the summary of the first few arcs.

[ofcloudsandstars]

Can you do or have you done a post about how to chart planets and other things? I wanna learn how to do it and interpret it so what posts do you recommend?

Wow so lol this is a hefty question and it’s probably going to reveal that I’m nuts cause you have to be a bit patient and determined to do this lol. (Also sorry for getting to this so late, my work has been demanding so I haven’t had much time to properly respond to this. Even now I need to get ready for work so this may seem rushed.) Before I hide the endless paragraphs of information behind a read more as to not give innocent bystanders arthritis by scrolling, I would just like to point out that charting planets is cool if you want to figure out Lunar aspects, work with asteroids that may go unnoticed since they are more personal influences, or channel the dwarf planets like Ceres which still has important influences over our lives. Otherwise for the main planets and celestial bodies, there are a lot of apps and sites out there. Some helpful apps are like time passages, a lot of people like co-star and Time Nomad. 

Some things to be aware of while charting planets:

You should know each Zodiac sign well and their characteristics. 

1. Google the zodiac signs, 

2. What are Zodiac Qualites: Cardinal, Fixed, Mutable - which helps make sense with aspects later. 

3. Zodiac elements like Fire + Air being “active” and Earth + Water being “passive”

You should know each Planetary influence well like what each Celestial Body represents

You need to know the 5 Major aspects.

Minor aspects can mostly be helpful with natal charts, the same way asteroids can be really personal. But the quintile/biquintile can be helpful for unlocking magic but that’s another rabbit hole, and best to use in relation to your personal horoscope.

Aspects tend to be categorized by good and bad which is annoying and unhelpful to look at anything in astrology like that but I like to think of them as either more relaxed or confrontational. In case you may find my personal explanation below a bit confusing here is a general breakdown of the 5 major aspects.

My breakdown: You can think of the aspects as passive and active too but sometimes that can be vague and it's oversimplification can lead to assumptions that don't always work, so I made this grid where you can still see the 'passive' and 'active' qualities but more fleshed out:

So I put Active and Reflective. The Active side likes when you take action and you will start to see some positive results coming from it. The Reflective side can demand your attention and needs you to think about whatever they may be bringing up for you, whether it's epiphanies or challenges. Positive things come from reflecting, broadening your perspective or planning from these. Then there is the 'Ambient' and 'Urgent' line which describes how well you will notice these aspects influencing your life. Ambient means the vibe of the aspect just lurks in the background and you may notice it's presence but honestly it doesn't really demand that you do anything about it vs Urgent makes you feel a push to do something about it.

Starting from the Urgent side (right) we have Sextile (when planets are 60 degrees apart) which likes Action and then Square (90 degrees apart) which likes Reflection. You will often feel these influences on your life in little ways like a sextile will make you want to put the two planetary energies together and make it work, like a match meeting friction. There's a spark and it allows for a positive push to get the two planets to work together. A square’s flow of energy feels like the opposite. Instead of a harmonious push wanting the two planets to work well together it creates tension. It's like trying to jam a circle block into a triangle square, or a traffic jam from two intersections. Something isn't fitting right but because of this lack of harmony you feel the discomfort and often feel inclined to do something about it. Since the energy is not as harmonious, taking action now will only lead to further frustration. However reflecting during intense square transits can lead to excellent planning and sometimes incredible resolutions.

From the Ambient side (left) we have the Trine (120 degrees) and Opposite (180 degrees). I thought of 'Ambient' being the appropriate word cause you will sort of notice these aspects but they are just kind of a vibe in the background. They don't take up your immediate energy or attention like the urgent aspects. The worst offender for me is the Trine which brings benefits and abundance if you take action on it, but it's so chill and harmonious, most people tend to not notice it's passing. However if you mark when planets are doing positive trines or when the Moon trining the sun (waxing gibbous or disseminating moon), you will notice if you do positive magic based on the elements of those planets (for example a positive trine with Venus and Mars for love/sex magic) you will reap great benefits. However Trines will pass you by with their tranquil vibe that they are infuriatingly easy to miss. 

Side note: in a way I feel like Trines and Squares seem more opposite in our reaction to their energies cause Squares make you feel like you MUST DO something RIGHT NOW cause of the attention they are forcing you to give and sometimes the tension or discomfort but it's really not a time to do anything but just plan on changing your ways or creating a strategy. Where as Trines bring luck if you do something during it, but they are so relaxed you hardly notice them passing by. 

Then there is oppositions. A classic example of an opposition is the full moon. It is generally ambient but it may cause you to reflect on external circumstances or whatever the opposites the planets are reflecting. Often you are met with choices which you must reflect on or find ways to bridge the middle ground between the two opposing forces. This energy can also bring tension as well but it's generally more of a vibe that you can take your time with self reflection and exploring choices rather than the urgent feeling that squares bring.

Lastly there is Conjunction! That is in the middle of the grid cause it's a bit of a wild card. Conjunctions are when two celestial bodies are in the same place in the chart so their energies fuse! It really depends on which planetary body it is and if those planetary bodies are aspecting anything else but often the energies are blended. For example lets say it's a day when the Sun is conjunct Mars, the day may feel energetic, full of confrontation, potentially challenging, heated, but exciting. If the Sun was conjunct Neptune the day may feel very dreamy, ungrounded, hard to get work done, wonderful for escapism and creativity.

To make some examples of the five major aspects I can do like the Sun and Saturn for example:

Note: though Astrology King can be a bit gendered in it's approach (yes sometimes people shove gender into astrology too lol) and can see astrology from a bit more of a classic old school perspective, I like looking up their aspects between planets cause it can be pretty helpful.

Sun trine Saturn: (Ambient vibe that likes Action), There is great benefits today with focusing on responsibilities and tasks. If you took the time today to work on your task list or any important things that have to be completed you will find you can complete them with ease and have more of a sense of maturity.

Sun Sextile Saturn: (Urgent vibe that likes Action), The theme today will revolve around things that need to get done or your work, but you will feel fulfilled in accomplishing them. You will feel motivated to focus on these responsibilities and get a lot of work done.

Sun Conjunct Saturn: (Fusion of the two celestial energies), The overall energy today will feel slow paced, restrictive and heavy. Everything may feel like a chore, the theme of work or things you have to do may consume the day.

Sun Opposite Saturn: (Ambient vibe that likes Reflection), You may feel restricted by external obstacles causing blocks and limitations or responsibilities/tasks which you cannot move past until they are confronted. You need to figure out how to either bring the two energies together by addressing these limitations by your will power (the sun's influence) or make a choice on how to deal with these issues and figure out what you will prioritize in this time.

Sun Square Saturn: (Urgent Vibe that likes Reflection), This incredibly tense transit will make you feel bound, restricted and suffocated by your current job, responsibilities, tasks, obstacles or any adversity in your life. Time will feel much slower like when you watch the clock oozing by hours away from when the dreaded class you want to escape would finally end. You may feel the urgent need to break free but it will cause further restrictions. It's a good time to reflect on these responsibilities and create a plan of action on how to address them moving forward.

OK once you are comfortable with this info then you can get into the very ridiculous task I enjoy doing which is busting open an ephemeris (a calculator for celestial bodies including asteroids etc.) and Charting them! :) I love Serennu as it's pretty helpful.

First pick a time frame. (Lets say August)

Then a celestial body you want to chart. (Let's say Ceres)

Note: A lot of major celestial bodies are already charted since a lot of Astrologers pay attention to them so it may be a lot of needless work doing something like charting Venus or the Sun when you can find that info here or on apps like co-star and Time Passages. The moon sometimes does not get charted as much other than caring about it's aspects to the sun but lunar aspects lasts for like 2 hours sometimes so it depends on how important that is to you or if you are planning a spell in that hour.

1. Bust out a little Notepad on your computer. Write on it August 1st 2020 at 23:59. Then the planets you want to keep track of in order to relate the planet you are charting to it.

2. So find: (using Ctrl + F)

Sun Mercury Venus Mars Jupiter Saturn Chiron Uranus Neptune Pluto

Also look up Ceres during this date.

3. Once you are complete, jump to August 31st 2020 23:59 and do the same.

4. Then focus on Ceres, the planet you are charting. Notice if there are any differences between the first of August and the end. Did it change signs? Leave retrograde? etc. If you've noticed it changed signs, narrow the time down to when. I like to first look at the middle of the month (August 16th) and if it was still in the same sign from August 1st, I know the change is inbetween the 16th-31st. So then I jump in the middle of those dates, August 24th. If it's still in the same sign for example then I know it's in between the 24th-31st etc. etc. I keep doing it in the middle and then dividing time through that. Once I narrow down the time change then it's easy to see which day it was and I jot that down to the chart.

5. Now for the very extra fun part :) figuring out the aspects!

I mean don't worry it's simple matching most of the time. Sextiles are just when they are 60 degrees apart and this is easy to remember cause you just have to think about complimentary elements like fire + air signs and water + earth signs (It's essentially matching the two Active and Passive elements). If Ceres for example is in a water sign, just look for the planets that are in an earth sign, and if both of their degrees are the same number then they are sextiling.

Trines are when they are in the same element and same degree.

Conjunct is literally they are in the same place. So same sign, same degree.

Squares are same quality so cardinal, fixed and mutable but same degree.

The only one that uses math which is simple subtraction is Oppositions. If two celestial bodies are in opposite signs they only make an opposition if the degrees are mirroring each other. You find this out by subtracting the planet you are charting degree from 30. So if you are like: ooh I noticed Ceres is in the opposite sign from, lets say mercury for example, and you subtract Ceres's degree from 30, if that number matches up to Mercury's degree then they are opposite.

6. Organization: So it's a lot of information but one way I like to do this is by doing the celestial bodies charts (the 11 celestial bodies I've listed above along with Ceres) weekly (Like each Saturday at 23:59) and then color coding them based on element and qualities. Fire is reds, Air is grays/yellows, Earth Green, Water Blue. Cardinal is neon/bright colors, Fixed is dark, mutable is tertiary-adjacent. I mean this may seem complicated so find your own system lol but I am a visual person so it helps me to see the visual color change and see which planet is where and their energetic correspondence.

7. THEN I make a list with Ceres again. It's just the five aspects- Conjunct, Opposite, Square, Sextile, Trine; and I scan through the week and say -Is there any Conjuncts with Ceres this week? Any Squares? Any Trines? Etc. In general weekly overviews you can see when these aspects will happen. After filling out the chart you can go back and narrow down on Serennu which day it will happen.

---------------------------

Yes I know I am wild for doing all of this. It's usually only relevant for minor celestial bodies or TNOs that not many people pay attention to, but I find Ceres and Chiron important to pay attention to (I count Chiron as an important astrological presence like the other planets) and you can work with asteroids for self exploration and working with Eros really helped me with some stuff so that's why I do it. Also Lunar transits are great for spell work and you can do a smaller version of this just weekly just to figure out the moon's transits, but you gotta chart the moon daily cause it moves fast.

It was a lot! Let me know if you have any additional questions. <3

[notapaladin]

tell the world that we finally got it all right

Instead of asking Acatl’s permission to court Mihmatini at the end of SotU, Teomitl asks Acatl’s permission to court him. When Acatl accepts, he finds himself falling in love over fierce determination, infectious smiles, and eminently practical gifts.

Also on AO3!

-

“I still have to get your permission to court you, after all.”

Acatl was absolutely sure he could not have heard right. Maybe he’d hit his head in the fighting and was just now realizing it. Maybe he’d fallen asleep and this was a dream. Maybe he was dead. But the city spread out below him was still lit by torches for the funeral vigils, and there was none of the acrid smell of Mictlan in his nose. He stared out at the light reflecting on the canals, felt a breeze ruffle his cloak, and tried to form words. “You want to what,” he managed, through numb lips that didn’t seem to be attached to the rest of him.

Teomitl was still looking at him, and still smiling like the dawn. “You heard me.”

He opened his mouth. He closed his mouth.

Now, it wasn’t unheard of for priests to marry; they were not allowed children, and were still prohibited from unions that could result in them, but for two men or two women to marry was an acknowledged...well, not precisely a loophole in the vows, but certainly a long-established and permissible bending. His own mentor’s husband had died before Acatl had met him, but the man had worn the single red-wrapped braid of a married priest until his own death. Still, it was one thing to know in theory that it could happen, and another for it to be happening to him. He was High Priest of Mictlantecuhtli. He dealt with rituals, and his temple, and the bodies of the dead. He did not—had never even thought he might, no matter his most secret desires—deal with the bodies of the living. And now Teomitl, the bright and beautiful youngest brother of the Revered Speaker, was casually bringing up the idea of courting him as though it didn’t turn his world upside down.

He took a breath. Good, he could still do that and not feel like he might faint. “...Why?!”

Alright, that sounded more like a strangled parrot, but Teomitl didn’t seem to mind. His gaze softened when their eyes met. “You’re brave. Intelligent. Patient. Considerate. A diligent and honest and honorable man, and I don’t meet very many of those.” Then he grinned, sharp. “And you’re very, very handsome, which doesn’t hurt.”

Acatl heard himself make a sound that wasn’t connected to any kind of word. His face felt like it was on fire.

“...That,” Teomitl added matter-of-factly, “was the short version. I can come up with the longer version once I’ve had a bit more sleep.”

He thinks all that of me—wait, he thinks I’m handsome? Me? Me?! An objection reared up from the stunned blankness of his mind. “I thought you were interested in my sister.” Yes, that made sense. Mihmatini was beautiful and strong, after all, and Teomitl should be interested in her. Not in him, a man of no great looks or fame or physical prowess.

Teomitl looked almost embarrassed at that. Almost. “...Your sister is very pretty, and I’m very impressed by her magic. But she’s not you.”

And it’s you I want, he didn’t say, but Acatl could feel the shape of the words between them. He willed his heart to dislodge itself from his throat. Yes, part of him was...was interested, he couldn’t lie about that, but there were more considerations at hand than just his feelings. There had to be. “And you still want me to teach you the magic of living blood.”

Now Teomitl actually looked embarrassed. Acatl wished he didn’t find it endearing. “You...are all those things I just mentioned. I know I need—that is, if you want to teach me, I want to learn from you. It’s just that...in addition...well.”

In addition, he wanted to court him. Acatl swallowed a few times until he thought he could speak without being half-choked by the shock of it. “...I’ll think about it. When this evening is over.”

There were still vigils to stand, after all. Teomitl seemed to relax at that, surprisingly; Acatl wondered if he was as nervous as he was at the idea of courting someone. If he was, it showed only in the new set of his shoulders. “Right. Let’s go, then.”

They went.

Unfortunately for Acatl’s peace of mind, the chants for the souls of the dead were something he could recite in his sleep, and so they provided absolutely no distractions. His head still felt like it was spinning, like any moment he might fall over and need Teomitl’s strong arms to hold him up. And he does have very nice arms, came a particularly traitorous thought from the back of his mind. He sternly told it to shut up. True, Teomitl was an attractive young man—he was sworn to Lord Death but he was neither dead nor blind, and had definitely noticed rippling muscles and that bold, warm smile—but that didn’t make marriage a good idea.

Even if he was brave and bold and honest. Even if he’d made arrangements for that old woman, Mazatl’s grandmother, to be provided for. Even if that smile had made an answering one curve at his own lips. Even if Acatl, as a High Priest, was surely a worthy match for a youth of imperial blood.

Even if…

When he finally went to his mat cold and alone as he always did—it had never bothered him until then, until someone had asked to share it—he closed his eyes and saw Teomitl’s smile on the inside of his lids. He thought of magic like sunlight, skilled and confident hands, a determination to live up to a dead mother’s valor that had led him to Tlalocan by his side. And he knew what answer he’d be giving Teomitl in the morning.

“Yes,” he’d say, “you can court me.”

&

Teomitl did not, surprisingly, fling himself into Acatl’s arms when he told him the good news, but he looked very much as though he wanted to. Acatl felt himself blush all over again at being the source of all the joy in his face, moreso when he bowed and said simply, “You honor me, Acatl-tzin.”

They were alone in the courtyard of Teomitl’s rooms at the palace. If they’d been a man and a maid, they would have had a chaperone; Acatl was intensely thankful that they weren’t and didn’t. If he’d had an audience for what he did next—what, in fact, he’d been thinking of doing since waking up that morning—he might have actually died.

He stepped forward, reached out, and took Teomitl’s hand lightly in his own. It was calloused and warm and fit perfectly against his, and he never wanted to let go. Teomitl’s head snapped up and his lips parted and Acatl thought oh no but resolutely ignored it long enough to say, “If you’re serious about courting me, shouldn’t you be calling me Acatl?”

Teomitl’s throat worked as he swallowed. “...Alright. Acatl.” Gods, he was flushed and a little stunned and it was...he was…

Lovely. Acatl met his eyes and felt a little like he had in Tlalocan—like he should be drowning, except somehow he was still breathing air. He was suddenly very aware that there was, technically, nothing separating them from a kiss. With difficulty, he forced that awareness down and made himself continue with what he’d planned on saying. “I’ve thought it over, and if we’re going to do this properly, we need to set some rules.”

Teomitl’s expression changed, and he held himself a little straighter—a warrior, not a young lover. Some part of Acatl’s brain applauded his choice. “Name them.”

Acatl had to look away, though he kept his hold on Teomitl’s hand. He’d come up with the rules that morning and had felt very smart then, but now the words seemed to be slow in coming. “You can’t give me anything worth more than two cotton cloaks.”

“That’s hardly anything at all!”

“It’s quite a lot for the average person, and I don’t have any use for needless luxury. Practical gifts only.” When Teomitl—pouting slightly—nodded, he continued, “While I’m giving you lessons in magic, I am your teacher, not your lover, and I expect you to take those lessons seriously. No flirting until we’ve put our supplies away.” He’d decided after considerable thought that he wouldn’t mind flirting in general, but there had to be limits for safety’s sake if nothing else. Heightened emotions and sharp objects didn’t mix well, even before you added magic.

That got a mildly incredulous look. “Of course.”

Huh. I’d thought he’d put up more of a fight about that. “No parading our relationship around at the palace until we’re—if we’re married, I won’t have your standing damaged by association with me—”

Teomitl choked, fingers tightening around Acatl’s to the point of pain. “Damaged by association—Acatl!” And now he was glaring at him, though there were no threatening jade ripples in his eyes.

Acatl blinked back at him. “...You have to have noticed Tizoc-tzin hates me.”

He grimaced, waving a hand. “Tizoc has fine qualities, but the ability to see past his own nose is not one of them. You are wonderful, Acatl, and anyone who doesn’t see that isn’t someone whose opinions I care about.”

Acatl’s blush returned with reinforcements. “I. Uh.” Then he shook himself, tried to gather his thoughts again, and came up with, “When Axayacatl-tzin dies, Tizoc-tzin will almost certainly be Emperor, and then he’ll be the one who decides whether you can marry at all. Please, Teomitl. Don’t antagonize him.”

Teomitl sighed. “...Very well. Though really, I think you sell yourself far too short. I did promise you the long list of reasons why I want to court you, didn’t I?”

“...That’s not necessary.” Mostly because he was pretty sure he’d spontaneously combust if one was produced, and he was starting to suspect that Teomitl was the sort to fulfill his promises to the letter.

Teomitl still didn’t look pleased, but he nodded. “If you say so. What else?”

He drew in a slow breath. Here was a rule he’d wrestled with, but it seemed fair enough. “...Absolutely no public displays of…” He gestured with his free hand, since it didn’t seem like Teomitl was going to let his other one go anytime soon. “Affection.”

He watched as Teomitl’s eyes narrowed thoughtfully and therefore saw the exact moment he spotted the gap Acatl had left in his words. “Hmm.” Then he took a half-step forward and tilted his face up, meeting Acatl’s gaze head-on. “We aren’t in public right now.”

Even though he’d been expecting it, the words still made his skin warm in a way he couldn’t blame on the sun. “No,” he agreed. “We aren’t.” And he’d known they weren’t, but having the knowledge laid out so plainly in front of him was a different beast entirely. He couldn’t tear himself away from the warmth of Teomitl’s eyes or that of the hand in his. Almost unconsciously, his gaze fell to the fullness of his lips. He’d never been kissed before, but he was very willing to try.

A pink tongue slipped out to moisten lightly-parted lips, and Acatl’s blood roared so that he almost missed Teomitl breathing a question into the air between them. “Can I kiss you, then?”

He swallowed hard. One kiss, whispered his mind. You can afford one kiss and still keep your self-control, still comport yourself with the dignity of a High Priest. But Teomitl was so close, so warm, and his mouth looked so terribly, terribly soft and tempting. He might take that one kiss—it was an impropriety allowed for a courting couple, surely—but he didn’t know if he’d want to stop.

So he stepped back and pulled his hand away, fighting back an urge to smooth his unruffled hair. His heart was still thumping erratically inside his chest. “...Maybe later. After we’ve seen if I can teach you anything at all about magic.”

&

It would have been easier if Teomitl was a terrible pupil. If he was rude or impatient or disrespectful, if he dismissed the very real risks of working the magic of living blood. Then Acatl could have looked at him, shaken his head, and declared that they would not suit—that his heart would be remaining safely ensconced in his chest, thank you, and not held out tenderly on a platter for someone else to tear apart. Of course he wouldn’t have been happy about it, but it would have been easier. He was used to being alone. He was half expecting it, anyway; surely a proud young warrior of imperial blood wouldn’t be willing to lower himself for so long, especially not in front of someone he wanted to court.

And so of course, Teomitl proved all his expectations false. While it was blazingly clear that he could be rude, impatient, disrespectful, and generally as abrasive as the rough side of an adobe wall, it was also just as clear that he was trying to temper all those bad habits. Not very successfully sometimes—there were times when he made comments that, if Acatl had been a much sterner teacher, would absolutely have earned a slap—but there was effort being made there. And it was equally clear that he was approaching his lessons with the sober and careful air of a man who was determined to learn, and who wouldn’t let himself be distracted for long even if he found himself visibly and adorably flustered each time they brushed hands. It was a reaction Acatl couldn’t blame him for; their lessons necessitated that they touch frequently, and frankly he wasn’t the only one affected. Teomitl was simply…

Well.

He was nothing like Payaxin. Payaxin had been eager and enthusiastic, each new lesson a grand adventure; Teomitl was eager, true, but his eagerness was tempered by a grave and intense determination to get each spell right, and the way his brow knit when the magic spiked out of his control or fizzled prematurely made Acatl long to smooth it for him—an impulse he most certainly had not had with his last apprentice. Then again...well, he hadn’t been courting Payaxin, and he was rapidly discovering that some things were very, very different when his apprentice was also the man who made it clear he wanted to marry him.

The man who greeted him with a smile and tucked errant locks of hair behind his ear. The man who he was not only allowed but encouraged to look at when he stretched like a young jaguar—though when he did that, Acatl couldn’t have torn his eyes away whether he’d been allowed or not. The man who not only listened to his lectures on spellcraft but made serious, well-reasoned suggestions for improvement. The man whose laugh made him want to grin back, joy sitting new and unfamiliar in his chest.

They still hadn’t kissed. It had been a month, and they hadn’t kissed. Oh, they were growing closer in other ways—after each lesson they would sit and talk or sometimes go out to the markets for more supplies, and Acatl would learn that Teomitl disliked monkeys, loved the color green, and enjoyed both watching and playing tlachtli, though he refused to bet on the results. Sometimes he would share the better stories of his childhood, and Teomitl would smile and share some of his own. Every time they touched, his heart rolled over like an otter in a stream. Yes, they were definitely courting.

But after that first day, Teomitl hadn’t asked to kiss him again. He was being as respectful and courteous as Acatl could wish for, and at this rate it was going to drive him mad. He heard his voice, watched his lips move, and thought Do it. Grant me permission to want you.

But he didn’t.

Granted, at the moment Acatl thought this they were winding down a lesson, and it was probably difficult for most people to work up the desire to kiss someone when you were actively bleeding. Acatl wouldn’t know. He’d woken up thinking about the sinuous curve of Teomitl’s spine and the dip where his shoulder met his bicep, and the images hadn’t left even while he was paying his devotions to his gods. He’d thought he could probably have driven the knife into his chest and not felt it.

Presumably, Teomitl was more easily distracted. He was currently trying to wrap a bandage around his bleeding forearm one-handed and doing a terrible job of it. As it slipped again, he swore and muttered, “Oh, come on—”

Acatl stepped forward and willed his hands not to shake. “Let me?”

It wasn’t the first time he’d patched Teomitl up after a lesson, but every time—no matter the nature of the wound—the sensation of warm, bare skin at his fingertips sent a shockwave through him. At first he’d dealt with it by being as careful and professional as possible, but…

He’d been so good. He’d denied himself so much. And Teomitl said he wanted to court him; surely it was alright to thrill over the feeling of his skin under his hands. So when Teomitl, leaned over, looking put-upon but trusting, he let his fingers trail over the sturdy bones of his offered wrist for a moment before pressing a fresh pad of dayflower to the short cut a few inches above it. Teomitl’s shiver had nothing to do with pain.

“...Acatl-tzin.” Acatl had heard his name spoken thousands of times, but never like that.

Against his better judgement, he lifted his head to meet Teomitl’s eyes, and the warmth in them struck him to the core. It was a good thing he could wrap and bind wounds in his sleep, because there was no possibility of him being able to tear his gaze away. Teomitl was gazing at him so softly, so—yes, he could think the word, longingly—that it felt like his chest had been hollowed out and refilled with warm honey and butterflies. He drew in a long, aching breath. Teomitl, he thought, and couldn’t bring himself to say the name aloud. They were much closer than he’d realized.

Teomitl licked his lips. “I…”

I could kiss you. He could. Teomitl was right there. And he was catching his bottom lip hesitantly between his teeth, which frankly made Acatl want to bite it for him. He could do it, too; all he would have to do was lean in.

“Can I…?” He barely recognized his own voice, never mind whatever he was actually saying, but it must have reached Teomitl’s ears anyway, because he tilted his face up, a flower towards the sun, in the clearest invitation Acatl had ever seen.

He lowered his head, feeling warm breath tickle his lips...and stopped. He couldn’t make himself close the distance, couldn’t make himself presume that far.

Teomitl whispered his name again. “Acatl.”

Yes, he thought. Yes. Call me by my name when you’re about to kiss me.

They were so close.

“My lords!”

The slave who’d burst into the courtyard looked terrified—as well he should, because Teomitl was glaring not just daggers but all manner of weaponry at him. Still, he held his composure admirably as he continued, “Tizoc-tzin and the Revered Speaker request your presence at once. Both of you.”

Acatl could cheerfully have committed regicide in that moment. He took a deep breath and stepped back, letting go of Teomitl’s arm with a pang. For a long moment, he had to stand with his eyes shut and his hands on the handles of his knives, praying for calm. It almost worked.

Then Teomitl muttered, “Surprised it took them this long,” and his equanimity vanished.

Irritation rose with a nasty, sick feeling of betrayal hot on its heels as he spun to glare at his betrothed. “Excuse me?”

Teomitl had the grace to look sheepish. “Ah. I. Uh. From what I’ve heard—of course they don’t talk to me about it—Tizoc has been trying to turn Axayacatl against you, except I don’t think he’s gotten that far since nobody’s actually forbidden me from seeing you, and it’s not like we’ve been doing anything that would give them cause to think—you won’t even accept gifts from me—anyway. I’m sure Axayacatl will continue being reasonable.”

“You could have warned me,” he snapped.

Teomitl bristled. “I was going to!”

The slave cleared his throat hesitantly. “Ah, my lords?”

Teomitl waved a dismissive hand. “We’ll be there soon. Leave us.” When the slave’s footfalls had died away, he fixed his gaze on the ground. “I didn’t think you’d care,” he gritted out, and Acatl had to strain to hear it. The breath he drew sounded like it pained him. “You didn’t seem particularly enthused about this whole thing in the first place.”

He wondered, distantly, if the sharp pain in his chest was how it felt when your heart broke. “Teomitl.” Further words failed him, so instead of relying on them, he reached out and squeezed Teomitl’s hand hard. You little fool, how could you think I don’t care? Can’t you see my heart in my eyes when I look at you?

Teomitl jolted, twisting so that for a moment Acatl thought he’d pull away—but then his head snapped up, and he fixed him with a glare through suspiciously shiny eyes. “Tell me I’m wrong!”

Ah. Evidently Teomitl couldn’t see his heart in his eyes. He inhaled, thought back over his actions of the past month, and had to admit that...well. Perhaps he had been a bit too hesitant. If Teomitl wanted him—and he clearly did—he would be twice and thrice a fool for denying himself what he wanted in return. His lips almost ached where they’d gone unkissed. “You are wrong.” His voice was low and even, and he was proud of himself for that. “I care very, very much. I would never have agreed to any of this if I didn’t. You are brave and honest and smart and yes, sometimes you infuriate me, but getting to know you has been the most…” He shook his head, unable to come up with the right words, and settled for the simple truth. “You make me feel alive.”

Teomitl looked stunned. There was joy leaking around the edges of his expression, but his face clearly couldn’t decide whether to start beaming yet or not. “...Truly?”

“I will never lie to you.” His heart was strangely steady; now that he’d said what needed to be said, it seemed his body had decided there was no need to panic. Besides, from the look on Teomitl’s face, his betrothed needed him to be the calm one, and that felt right. He couldn’t do much for him in this world of imperial politics, but he could do that. “Let’s see what your brothers have to say about us, hm?”

“...Alright,” Teomitl whispered back.

They held hands the entire walk there, discretion be damned.

It was quite a trek, which unfortunately gave Acatl ample time to regret his earlier display of confidence. I’ve never met Axayacatl-tzin, but Tizoc-tzin hates priests in general and me in particular. I can’t see this ending well. Even if Axayacatl-tzin approves, there will be a rift there, and it will be my fault. I’ll tear another family apart, just by existing.

When they arrived, laying their sandals neatly by the door, the audience chamber was empty of other petitioners. There was only them—and, at the far side, Axayacatl and Tizoc. The Revered Speaker sat beside a golden screen, not behind it, and when they knelt he bade them rise with a wave of his hand. He looked pale and shrunken, the skin stretched tight over the planes of his skull, but his eyes were clear. “So, you’re the man Our youngest brother intends to marry. The High Priest for the Dead. Cicuacen Acatl, wasn’t it?” His voice was a phlegmy-sounding rasp that made Acatl wince.

“Yes, my lord.” He kept his eyes lowered. They weren’t holding hands anymore, but he was acutely aware of Teomitl’s presence besides him.

He was also aware of the way Tizoc was glaring at both of them. No—at him. The glare was definitely aimed at him. “You see, my lord brother? Look at this—at this priest, who thinks he can meddle in the affairs of our family.”

“Tizoc—” Teomitl began.

“I see the priest,” Axayacatl said dryly.

Tizoc turned the edge of that glare on his own brother, gesturing between Acatl and Teomitl as though they’d committed some great crime. Acatl supposed that by his standards, maybe they had. “Then you must understand why this...travesty cannot be allowed to continue.”

“It’s been a month, and if We had not seen it for Ourselves We wouldn’t have known they were courting at all. They have been most admirably discreet. In fact…” He leaned forward, peered at Acatl for a moment, and nodded firmly. “This is the first time We have met him. Hardly the actions of a man seeking his own power and glory.”

Temporarily stymied, Tizoc changed his battle tactics. “Teomitl, you can’t possibly be serious about lowering yourself to—”

“I am,” Teomitl snarled.

With all three brothers in the same room, the resemblance was so obvious that Acatl couldn’t imagine how it had taken him so long to spot it. But where Tizoc’s anger was a sick, vicious thing, the snapping of a wounded dog’s jaws, Teomitl’s rage shone like the gold of a jaguar’s coat. It made him want to kneel again, but instead he took a long breath and thought Oh. That’s the sort of man I’m marrying.

“You want to marry him? To bring him into our family? That—that peasant’s son?!”

Axayacatl didn’t raise his voice. He didn’t need to. “That peasant’s son is still the High Priest of Mictlantecuhtli. Regardless of his origins, that makes him more than a fit match for Our youngest brother. I daresay his age may even make him a steadying influence, which We think Is sorely needed.”

“But he—”

Axayacatl ignored him. “Teomitl. You’re sure you want this man for a husband?”

“I do.” There was no hesitation at all.

“My lord,” Tizoc said. He sounded horrified.

The Revered Speaker continued to ignore him. All his attention was on Teomitl, who he favored with a smile even as he sank back on his throne. He had to clear his throat several times before speaking. “You have my blessing. You’re both dismissed.”

Tizoc’s eyes narrowed, fists clenching before, with something like a spasm, he made them relax. He looked as though he might have quite liked to tear Acatl limb from limb. Acatl remembered the sham of Neutemoc’s trial, remembered the way Tizoc had sneered at him, and felt the shadow of his own rage stir in his breast. Stir...and then subside, because Axayacatl was coughing and looked pained and he remembered with slowly rising dread that a man’s blessing meant nothing if he died the day after giving it.

But they’d been dismissed, and so at least Acatl wouldn’t show fear in front of his enemies.

They stepped into the next courtyard, and he realized he was shaking like the reed he’d been named for. Teomitl was steady and tense and immovable by his side, unaffected by how close they’d come to a disaster. He almost couldn’t breathe, never mind think. I knew this would happen. I knew Tizoc-tzin was going to oppose us. Now Axayacatl-tzin is dying and Tizoc will be next in line and when he’s crowned—when he’s crowned…

“...Acatl?” Teomitl’s voice held the careful, wary note of a man who wasn’t sure of his partner’s emotional state and didn’t want to see it get worse.

He didn’t bother to soften the blow. “I told you this would happen.”

Teomitl sucked in a breath and met his eyes. “Acatl—”

But now that the floodgates had been opened, he couldn’t stop. “Tizoc-tzin hates us. You for marrying beneath you, and me for having the temerity to rise above my station in life. You heard him—I may be the High Priest for the Dead, but to him I’ll never be anything more than the son of peasants. And you saw how Axayacatl-tzin looked; it will only be a matter of time until the council’s voted in Tizoc-tzin to replace him. He’ll never allow us to—” To live together. To be married. To be happy. I was a fool to think otherwise. He didn’t get a chance to say any of that, because Teomitl stepped into his personal space and grabbed his arms so that he couldn’t twist away.

Teomitl’s eyes burned, and his voice when he spoke was a growl like a jaguar’s. “I don’t care what he’ll allow,” he snarled.

And then he kissed him. Hard.

When he’d imagined his first kiss, he’d pictured something sweet and careful, something that slid against him like warm water. This...was not that. This was messy and rough, Teomitl’s tongue licking into his mouth and his fingers digging hard into his biceps, anchoring him to the earth as surely as the foundations of the Great Temple, and while his body had absolutely no complaints whatsoever his mind scrambled to catch up. He wasn’t sure what he ought to be doing with his own tongue, for starters.

Teomitl drew away, mouth red and wet. “I’m going to marry you. I swear, I don’t care if Tizoc is next to become the Revered Speaker, if he tries to separate us—”

Acatl kissed him back. It was the only possible outlet for the feelings raging within him, and he put into that kiss all he couldn’t say into words. I want you on my mat and in my life. I want to tie our cloaks together. I want to wake up next to you every morning. If you say you won’t let us be parted, I want to trust you...no, want doesn’t enter into it. I’m going to trust you. His arms slid around Teomitl’s waist and yanked them together, that lean body hard as stone against him, and he had to pull away for a heartbeat to breathe before sealing his mouth over Teomitl’s again. I might...gods, I might love you. Either way, I am never letting you go.

When they broke apart, chests heaving, he breathed, “Axayacatl-tzin has given his blessing. Let’s marry before we lose it.”

Teomitl stared at him, eyes wide. Then he sighed out, “Duality, I love you,” and all Acatl could do was kiss him again.

&

The first courting gift was not delivered to Acatl’s house, but to the temple; three palace slaves arrived early one bright morning to hand over a silver plate embossed with owls and spiders. Acatl, who had expected something pretty and impractical despite trusting Teomitl’s word of honor that all his gifts would serve a purpose, couldn’t even be upset at the expense. A trifle embarrassed, admittedly, but not as much as he probably should have been. It shone like a mirror, so clear and unblemished that he could see his face in it.

It wasn’t a terrible face, he supposed, but he really couldn’t understand what Teomitl saw that made him call him handsome.  

Anyway, after he properly expressed his appreciation for that—really, he’d meant to only give his thanks, but Teomitl had beamed like the sun and then he’d had to kiss him—more gifts began to arrive. Jade hearts, magically imbued knives, warm cloaks for the dry season and straw cloaks for the rainy season. Things that would be useful for his priests, if not the kind of soaringly romantic jewels and flowers that a man in love was supposed to give his intended. Each time he took inventory of whatever Teomitl had sent him this time, he felt himself melt with the sheer rightness of it; the knowledge that he was being courted by a good man settled in his chest like a sleeping hound.

He wasn’t the only one. Ichtaca had begun to smile every time he saw Acatl, which might have been a touching reassurance that he was doing a good job if he didn’t strongly suspect it was more due to his choice in marriage partners. When a finely carved heart of celestial turquoise was delivered one morning—and where Teomitl had gotten his hands on that, Acatl couldn’t even begin to guess—Ichtaca announced it in the same tone a man might use for the birth of a new child.

He lifted his head from the ledgers he was reviewing. Gods, nobody had warned him that the life of a High Priest involved so much paperwork. When he shook out his writing hand, he thought he could have throttled Ceyaxochitl with the other. “That will be useful for when we need to track creatures from the heavens, at least.”

“Indeed.” Ichtaca hummed his approval. After a moment, he added, “Teomitl-tzin is...very generous.”

More generous than you know. Oh, their lessons still continued and Teomitl had kept those strictly and scrupulously professional—gods, Acatl admired him so much—but when their tools were set aside it was a very different story. Then they were free, and Teomitl spared no effort in showing him how much he wanted him. Acatl’s face burned in memory of how heated some of those kisses had gotten. “You think highly of him, don’t you.” The thought filled him with some measure of relief; it would have been a terrible thing to have a husband his Fire Priest disapproved of.

“A High Priest should have a husband,” Ichtaca said simply. “And Teomitl-tzin has shown himself to be considerate and kind. You’ve chosen very well, Acatl-tzin.”

He found himself smiling. I have. Gods, I have. “Thank you.”

And then of course, because he couldn’t have nice things for long, Ichtaca continued, “Oh, but I actually came to tell you that the Guardian is here for you. She’s awaiting you in the receiving room.”

Grimacing, he got to his feet. Ceyaxochitl never brought good news with her. He only hoped it wasn’t another senseless murder or room full of blood. Or another god in the Fifth World. Please, please let it not be that. “...I’ll go and speak with her, then.”

Delaying the advent of trouble didn’t make it better when it finally arrived, after all.

The Temple of Mictlantecuhtli’s receiving room, much like the rest of the complex, wasn’t especially ornate, but it had walls and a ceiling with a skylight, so it fulfilled its function. At present, it also had the Guardian of the Sacred Precinct waiting for him with a slight frown on her lined face.

She neither rose nor bowed. “Acatl.”

He inclined his head politely. “What news do you have for me?”

“Ocelocueitl is dead,” she said bluntly.

It took him a moment to place the name—it meant “ocelot skirt” or “jaguar skirt” and had been astonishingly popular among the young men of his calmecac days—but then he remembered the old priest of Huitzilopochtli and took a deep breath. Well, he told himself, you knew she would bring bad news. It’s only the shape of it that’s a surprise. “...I see.” He hadn’t known the old man well, but that didn’t make his death any less an upheaval. He didn’t really want to think of what it would mean at the palace.

Ceyaxochitl wasn’t giving him a chance to ignore it. “Tizoc-tzin has already appointed his successor, young Quenami. His father and uncles are all Eagle Knights, and his grandfather was Master of the House of Darkness.” A noble, then. She set her walking stick across her lap and met his eyes. “You should be prepared.”

He grimaced and had to swallow down the old familiar tide of bitterness accompanying the mental snarl of I didn’t ask for this! No, he hadn’t. But now that it was put in front of him, he would do his job to the best of his abilities. Still… “You knew I was ill-suited for politics when you put me forth for this position,” he muttered.

She was smiling. That was never a good sign. “Ah. But your husband isn’t, is he?”

The blush felt like it was spreading all the way down to his toes. He opened his mouth, made a slightly strangled noise, and tried again. “My—he’s not—” There were rituals. Ceremonies. Knots to be tied and incense to be offered, and he and Teomitl hadn’t done any of that no matter how much every one of the man’s sunny smiles and glorious kisses made him yearn for it.

She made a little humming noise, unrepentant. “Your intended, then. I admit, this isn’t what I meant when I said a close relationship with him would be to all of our benefits, but I can’t complain about the outcome. Good for you.”

“I…” It was entirely possible that he was never going to stop blushing. His face might be stuck like this for the rest of his life. Teomitl would just have to marry a tomato.

For a moment she seemed to be considering patting his hand sympathetically, but clearly thought better of it. “A word of advice from someone who’s been there—yes, Guardians can and do marry, wipe that shocked look off your face, you look like a concussed deer—is that everyone will fall over themselves to give you advice. Ignore them.”

He swallowed back the first, second, and third questions that sprung to mind and settled on, “I suppose you’re going to say that your advice is best.” Strangely, her meddling did make him feel a bit better; anything was preferable to thinking about his marriage and what came afterwards in front of her.

She shrugged. “My husband and I were married for ten years until his death. We never went to bed angry with each other, and we managed that by talking. If you keep your words bottled up inside, they fester and rot. That’s all I have for you, and I hope you take it to heart.”

He closed his eyes and remembered how he’d thought, so foolishly, that Teomitl could read the secret language of his heart when he didn’t let it show. No, he wouldn’t make that mistake again. “...Thank you.” He made to rise, and Ceyaxochitl didn’t stop him. “I ought to see to Ocelocueitl’s funeral as soon as possible.”

“Mm. Bring Teomitl with you.”

He stiffened. “I don’t need his protection.” Teomitl was strong, brave, and making great strides with his magic, but he was High Priest for the Dead and could take care of himself. He wouldn’t marry the man just to hide behind his shield.

Ceyaxochitl hummed noncommittally. “...Maybe. Maybe not. But you want his company, don’t you?”

He was glad he’d already turned away so that she couldn’t see his face, because he knew she was right. Yes, if he was going into a den of snakes, he wanted Teomitl’s light and warmth by his side.

At least it was a short walk to the palace with a small escort of his priests, though it did require him to change into his formal regalia. He hated his formal regalia. The dry season was cooler than the rainy season, but not cool enough to make the heavy cotton of his cloak comfortable, and the less said about his feathered skull-mask headdress the better. It never fit quite right, and tying it to his belt just made it smack against his hip with every step. He wondered if the bruise would be permanent.

Then he saw Teomitl heading out of the palace gates and promptly forgot all of that. It had been days since they’d been in each other’s company; he’d been busy with the temple, and Teomitl had had his other lessons. The sunlight rippled faintly where it hit the shifting web of magical protections over him, but that wasn’t what made him radiant.

No, that was all due to the way his face lit up when he spotted him. “Acatl!”

An answering smile tugged at his own lips. I love you. He hadn’t said it out loud yet, but he would. One day. “Teomitl.”

Teomitl bounded up to him, gazing at him with such open warmth that he briefly wished they weren’t in public. “What brings you here? Not—not that I didn’t miss you, but I know how busy you are.”

“The High Priest of Huitzilopochtli is dead. I have to collect his body. Ceyaxochitl thought there might be some...trouble...with his successor.” Even saying that last part made his face twist. Politics. Gods, I love my temple and I love Teomitl, but I could happily have gone the rest of my life without thinking of politics. The boundaries are far more important than our petty mortal concerns; is it too much to hope for fellow High Priests who see that?

All at once, Teomitl’s joy vanished, and he was once again the young warrior. When he squared his shoulders, Acatl found himself thinking of his imperial relations and wondering how he might look in turquoise and gold. “Not while I’m here.”

He didn’t know the way to Ocelocueitl’s chambers, but apparently his half-dozen priests did; they swept ahead of him, leaving him and Teomitl nothing to do but follow along in their wake. Acatl found he didn’t mind; it gave them a chance to talk uninterrupted, and when Teomitl took his hand he didn’t pull away.

Teomitl murmured, “I knew this would happen eventually.  Ocelocueitl-tzin was old when I was born. Still, I wasn’t expecting it now.”

“Do you know anything about the new one? Quenami?”

He shook his head. “Nothing beyond what sort of family he comes from. You?”

“No.” And that worries me.

He didn’t say it, but apparently Teomitl could read it in his face just fine. “I’ll do my best to stop him from making your work harder.”

“I shouldn’t think you could make it any easier, with all the gifts you’ve been giving me.” There was no heat to it,  though he couldn’t help the faint scolding tone that crept in; really, the courting gifts were wonderful, but he was sure it had to be making a dent in the imperial treasury.

“Those were for your temple.” He flashed Acatl a smile like the reflection of the sun on water. “I have a better gift for you. I hope you’ll like it.”

Despite his intentions, he smiled back. By now he was almost accustomed to the sensation of his heart turning somersaults in his chest. “I’m sure I will.”

But then they were ascending a broad set of stairs, and there was a man waiting outside a closed entrance-curtain with the familiar expression of someone who’d been politely-yet- firmly ushered outside while preparations went on. Acatl normally wouldn’t have given him more than a second glance, but that second glance revealed blue face paint, gold in his ears, and a fresh headdress of heron feathers set on top of long and tangled blood-matted hair, so he felt his heart sink.

The man looked them over with the same expression he might have used for something found on the bottoms of his sandals, and then he started to smile. It didn’t improve his looks. “Ah, the famous Acatl and his intended. Your priests have already taken charge.”

He dropped Teomitl’s hand, straightened his back, and wished he was just a handspan or so taller. “You are Quenami?”

“Mm. Such a pleasure to meet you both.” There was an attempt at a bow. Quenami was tall and lanky with a face that put Acatl in mind of some sort of malevolent heron, if herons had hooded eyes and a smile that didn’t reach them. “I look forward to many happy years of working with you.”

Acatl had been in his presence for half a minute and wanted a steam bath. Even his accent set his teeth on edge; it was the rounded, perfectly enunciated one of a man who’d grown up speaking the noble dialect all his life, and it made him want to check the hem of his cloak for field muck. “Indeed.”

Quenami’s smile only widened. “And might I congratulate you, Acatl, on your upcoming nuptials? Such a coup for one of your...humble origins. My lord Tizoc-tzin doesn’t think so, but never fear; I’m sure he’ll come around eventually, perhaps once Teomitl has finally proven himself as a warrior.”

Teomitl stiffened, hackles rising like a dog. Before his valiant, foolish lover could cause a political incident, Acatl laid a hand on his arm and took a deep breath. Quenami’s been High Priest of the Southern Hummingbird less than an hour. I will not punch him in the face. “He’s already proven himself admirably in my eyes, and since I am the one marrying him I don’t see that it’s any of your business.”

“As you say, Acatl.” And he was still smiling. Gods, Acatl hated him already. “I truly hope you don’t regret it later.”

They watched Quenami walk away. Acatl’s shoulders felt wound tighter than a drawn bowstring. Ah, he thought dully. Ceyaxochitl was right.

Teomitl broke the silence. “...He’ll be a problem, won’t he.”

Acatl nodded. He didn’t yet trust himself to speak. A problem was certainly one way of describing Quenami, but he could think of a whole string of others.

Teomitl sucked in a breath and met his gaze. “I won’t let him touch you.”

“You might not be able to stop him.” Such was the way of the world, after all. Not everything could be planned for. Not everything could be protected against. And Quenami, as High Priest of the Southern Hummingbird, would in all respects be his superior—a man with far more magical strength and noble connections than he could ever hope to have, no matter who he married.

His mouth twisted as though he’d tasted something sour. “I’ll try.”

“...I know you will.” Teomitl looked stubbornly valorous, and it made him want to kiss him. Since he couldn’t, he settled for touching his hand instead and hoped that his eyes spoke for him.

Apparently it worked, because his gaze softened. “I was actually on my way to give you a proper courting gift when we ran into each other, you know. I might as well hand it over now.” From the back of his belt, he pulled out a sheathed knife. The sheath wasn’t anything special, just dark leather, but when Teomitl pulled it out an inch or so the blade gleamed with a bright, metallic sheen. Copper? But copper made mediocre knives at best—

No, he realized in shock. Not copper. “This is…” As Teomitl pressed it into his hands, he almost dropped it in shock. Tarascan bronze. Expensive beyond the dreams of even some nobles, bronze wasn’t nearly as sharp as obsidian or flint, but it was so durable that you could throw it off the top of the Great Temple without making so much as a dent. And Teomitl was giving it to him.

“You deserve it.” Teomitl said it like it was a natural law. The sky was blue, water was wet, and he, Acatl, deserved a knife worth a king’s ransom.

He swallowed. He couldn’t form words. “...You know, I think I recall asking you to keep your courting gifts within a certain budget.” Well, not helpful words, at any rate. He could have kicked himself.

Especially because Teomitl was drawing back, brow knit with concern. “Do you not like it?”

“I do.” He inhaled, staring down at the knife. When he drew it out, the sunlight made the blade look like fire made solid. He didn’t need to test the edge to know it would be lethally sharp. A knife. He could have gotten me jewels or precious feathers or garlands of flowers, or beads to be braided into my hair like he’s always saying he wants to do for me. But instead he gave me a precious blade that can last forever, so that whenever I am armed I’ll think of him.

Inside the room, his priests were beginning to chant. He needed to be there. Grimacing at himself, he sheathed the blade and met Teomitl’s eyes again. “I love it. This is...gods, Teomitl, this is perfect. But I have a funeral to prepare.”

“Go. I’ll be waiting for you later.” His voice went soft. “I know how important your work is, and I’ll be the last one to keep you from it.”

Ah, he was in love. That was the feeling like a flood rising within him, the rich warmth that spread out to the tips of his fingers and made his blood sing. I love you. I love you, I love you. You’re growing so patient and diligent and good for me; how could I not love you? When you take your place in your brother’s court, your smoke and mist will fill the world. But it was too much to say, so instead he stepped forward, tilted Teomitl’s face up with a gentle finger under his chin, and pressed the briefest kiss to his lips.

When he drew back, Teomitl’s eyes were wide. Acatl had to smile at him. “I’ll come find you after this is done.”

Then he went inside Ocelocueitl’s chambers and joined his priests in the first steps of laying the old man to rest. And if his face was still a little flushed, that wasn’t any of their business.

&

They were married on the first day of the rainy season. It was a date that had taken some planning and a surprising amount of arguing between the royal calendar priests and the matchmakers from his calpulli clan, each of whom had a different opinion on the most auspicious day to make a good match between his Six Reed and Teomitl’s Ten Rabbit, but eventually they’d settled on the closest of their choices. Teomitl had warned him that Tizoc was still seething, but once they were married, there was nothing he could do about it.

That wasn’t the only logistical hurdle they had to overcome. He’d never imagined that so many people would have an opinion on where a High Priest married to a youth of imperial blood ought to live, but apparently they did and felt compelled to share them with him. At length. Even Mihmatini asked if he was going to move into the palace, and he’d shuddered so hard at the idea—gods, there was nothing, not even Teomitl’s love, that would induce him to share a roof with the other High Priests no matter how far away his rooms were—that she’d never asked again. When he put the question to Teomitl himself, the man surprised him yet again.

“I’ll move in with you, of course,” he said, and Acatl had been so overwhelmed with fondness that all he could do was kiss him.

Then there had been endless supplies that needed to be prepared—maize and beans and wild game for the feasting tables, flowers and feathers for decoration, entirely new cloaks and loincloths that needed to be woven. At least he hadn’t been expected to have an opinion on those. No, his function as the one marrying in was to wait patiently until the day before his wedding, when the first banquet was held. There was rich food, but he barely tasted it. There was tobacco, but he barely smelled it. There were fine gifts, but he barely saw them even when the Revered Speaker of Texcoco brought in a caged quetzal bird. All his awareness was on the fact that he was sharing the same mat as Teomitl, who smiled at him sidelong and, when a lull in the festivities permitted it, leaned over to whisper, “I can’t wait.”

He shivered, warm from more than just the hearth fire, and moved the hand nearest him so that just the sides of their pinkies touched. Neither can I.

And after the banquet ended in the small hours of the morning, his cousins descended to scrub him within an inch of his life while his uncle—his father’s eldest brother, taking the place his own father would have—recited what felt like the world’s longest speech on his responsibilities as a husband. After that came the rings of crimson parrot and pink spoonbill feathers pasted onto his arms, and then he was forced to hold very, very still as his face was adorned with glittering bands of pyrite flakes. He suddenly understood, intimately, why maidens were expected to spend the time before their wedding in prayer and contemplation; there would be no chance of him getting comfortable sleep that night. Still, at least he managed a doze.

He had a feeling he would need his energy for after the ceremony.

When night fell again and he was dressed in a variation of his formal regalia—a necklace of silver owls at his throat, jade flares in his ears, absolutely no skull-mask in sight—he was escorted outside to find his siblings waiting for him. Neutemoc was sporting the full garb of a Jaguar Knight; though his helmet was fashioned in a perpetual snarl, the face looking out from between its jaws was calm and set. Acatl found he wasn’t sure what to say to him.

Luckily, Neutemoc broke the silence before it could get awkward. “I never thought this day would come.”

“Neither did I.” He’d imagined contentment in a job well done. He’d imagined the security of knowing his place in the world. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined Teomitl.

“...Our parents…” Neutemoc began, and then shook his head. “It doesn’t matter how they’d react. What matters is that you’re getting married. If Teomitl isn’t a good husband to you…”

He thought of bronze knives and baskets of good, sturdy cotton cloth. He thought of a drawn sword and a sweet, bold smile. “He will be.”

“He’d better.” That was Mihmatini, resplendent in a bright red skirt and heavily embroidered blouse. The effect was spoiled somewhat by the deadly serious expression on her face; she looked as though she was going to a war, rather than a wedding.

Acatl smiled despite himself. Even though he was perfectly capable of handling his problems like an adult—he’d keep Ceyaxochitl’s words in his heart, for one—there was something deeply reassuring about the knowledge that his siblings stood in his corner.

“Come on, Acatl-tzin.”

Unlike him, Ichtaca was dressed in his full regalia, with stripes of black paint across his face and a cloak embroidered with spiders. He was smiling as he stepped forward to escort Acatl to the litter currently being supported by six strong men; it had been decorated with hanging curtains and a canopy of feathers, and Acatl had secretly thought it was far too much of an expense. Still, given that he wasn’t a maiden to be carried on a matchmaker’s back and of course he wouldn’t be walking to his own wedding, it would have to do.

He settled himself in the chair, closed his eyes, and—for what felt like the first time in a century—let out a long sigh of relief. Soon. Soon...I’ll be married. Teomitl will be my husband. We’ll be shields and swords in each other’s hands, and nothing and no one will part us in this life. He thought of Huei and how marriages could crumble, allowing himself a moment’s fear, and then he thought of Teomitl facing down his own brother’s rage and shook his head decisively. I won’t let that happen to us. Neither will he.

He had faith in that.

The trip to the palace gates passed in a haze. No matter how calm he was, his nerves apparently hadn’t gotten the memo; they were all but buzzing under his skin, and he had to clench his fists very hard and mentally recite prayers to his patrons until his heart and lungs remembered how to work properly again. Except then he was newly aware of the itch where the feathers had been glued on his arms, and that was somehow worse than pain would have been. Pain was an offering to the gods. Itching was just an annoyance.

But then there was torchlight penetrating the curtains, and his litter was being set down gently. As the curtains parted, Neutemoc and Ichtaca took one hand each to help him to his feet. He barely noticed them.

Ahead of him was the Revered Speaker’s grandest dining hall, and standing in the doorway was Teomitl in all his finery. He’d never seen the man in so much gold; it glimmered at his neck, his wrists, his ankles. The rings on his fingers were turquoise and jade, and his earrings were formed in the shape of eagles’ heads from which dangled golden flowers. The orange-and-black scorpion cloak he wore almost looked dull in comparison.

He took Acatl’s breath away.

“Acatl-tzin.” His voice was barely even a whisper. “You look…”

He cracked a smile. “Ridiculous?” He felt ridiculous. Traditional they might be, but wedding adornments really didn’t suit him.

But Teomitl looked awestruck, so he supposed he was wrong. “Incredible.”

Now Acatl was blushing, so to cover it—and to push down the sudden, fierce desire to kiss him—he cleared his throat and muttered, “Come on. Let’s get married.”

Incense had been burning for hours, but the torchlight still reflected brightly off gold dishes and the jewelry of the invited dignitaries. Acatl kept his gaze resolutely forward; all the guests had been at last night’s banquet, and it was none of his business what they thought of him dressed for his wedding. Teomitl enjoyed the view, and that was enough to light a hot little coal in his heart. Together they stepped up to the wedding mat past the fire that had been lit, and took their seats on either side of it.

The speeches began. Axayacatl gave the first one, mercifully short, but then it was his uncle’s turn, and after that one of Teomitl’s innumerable paternal relations started talking in a voice like a thousand droning bees. Then another one. Then another one. Grass grew. The waters rose. The Fifth Sun burnt out and nobody noticed. Acatl’s sole anchor to reality came when Teomitl reached over and took his hand.

It was a relief when Teomitl’s elder sister, standing in for his mother, knelt and laid their new cloaks and loincloths before them. Their old cloaks were removed, and the new—blue and green as the lake for Teomitl, gray and black as the dancing shadows on the wall for Acatl—were knotted over their shoulders. Acatl’s fingers shook, and he balled his hands into fists to stop them.

When the corners of each cloak were tied together, he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. This is it. We’re married.

The rest were formalities, really—washing his mouth out, eating four bites of tamale, feeding four more bites to Teomitl who took them with trembling hands. The rest of the guests would feast, but not them. No, they were married now, and so they were being escorted to Teomitl’s chambers. As they walked, he felt the pull of his husband’s—his husband’s!—cloak as though it was attached to his heart instead.

And then they were alone. For the next four days, they would not be disturbed; at the end of that, unless something truly catastrophic happened between them in the interim, they would rejoin society as a married couple, and Acatl would wear a slender braid wrapped with red ribbon in his hair for the rest of his life.

But first, there was this. Their wedding night. He’d thought about it with increasing heat over the past few months, but thinking about it meant little when it was actually here. Acatl found himself swallowing down a spike of nerves. It will be fine. Teomitl loves me. Everything else can be dealt with. “So,” he said awkwardly. “Well.”

The look on Teomitl’s face said he felt the same way, which was a little reassuring. “Well,” he echoed. And then, slowly, he started to smile. “I’ve been looking forward to this for a very long time, you know.”

“...Have you.” He swallowed again, feeling his skin heat. His heartbeat suddenly sounded very loud in his own ears.

“Mm-hmm.” His husband stepped forward into his space, gazing up at him. His smile took on a teasing, hungry edge that made the memories of past kisses tingle against Acatl’s own lips. “I had a very...illuminating talk with a priest of Xochipilli to prepare myself. Did you?”

He hadn’t. It had seemed entirely too embarrassing to discuss with a stranger, and besides he was perfectly aware of the basic mechanics. But now Teomitl was looking at him and smiling like that, and there was a thick new sleeping mat just in the corner of his vision, and it was occurring to him that there may have been some gaps in his knowledge. “...I did not.”

“Well.” Teomitl set a hand on his chest over his heart and slowly—achingly slowly—started to slide it downwards. His eyes were molten. “Would you like it if I taught you some things for a change?”

He let his hands come to rest at Teomitl’s hips, suddenly exquisitely aware of the space between them. “Yes,” he whispered. His lips were dry. He licked them and watched Teomitl’s eyes follow the motion. “Yes, please.”

Teomitl kissed him, long and sweet. They made it to the mat together somehow, with his hands in Acatl’s hair and his own hands at Teomitl’s waist, and rolled until all Acatl’s feather decorations came loose with the movement. When they stopped Teomitl lay on top of him, so close their noses brushed, and smiled like the dawn. “Gods,” he breathed, “look at you.”

Acatl drew in a long breath. The air still smelled of incense, even here. “I’d rather look at you,” he whispered back. “Every day for the rest of my life. I love you, you know.” It slipped out so easily, between one breath and the next, that he knew it for the truth.

“Oh, Acatl.” On his husband’s lips, his name sounded like a prayer.

There was very little talking after that.

POSTSCRIPT: meeting the family

They were sitting in the open courtyard of Neutemoc’s home under the eyes of half a dozen slaves, servants, and whoever else happened to be passing by, so there was no impropriety in the gesture—but still, when Teomitl leaned back against his chest and beamed up at him, Acatl had to fight a blush. “Mazatl and Necalli are adorable,” his intended informed him. “I want a dozen of them.”

Acatl found himself smiling indulgently. He was allowed to curve an arm about Teomitl’s waist, and so he did. “And how many wives will you take for that?”

Teomitl jerked back, red all the way up his ears. “I—uh. Um, that is...”

Gods, he made his stone heart want to melt. “I wouldn’t mind.” He thought about the way Teomitl had roughhoused affectionately with Necalli and endured Mazatl’s endless curiosity. No, he wouldn’t mind his husband taking other spouses at all.

“I do!” Teomitl huffed. At least he was looking Acatl in the face again, eyes shining with conviction. “Acatl, you have to know I’d never marry anyone you didn’t want me to—I would never want to make you unhappy or let you feel like you’re anywhere but first in my heart.”

“I know,” he murmured. “But when you decide you want children of your own, I will be honored beyond measure to help you raise them.” He knew that his legal and social status would be more like a favored uncle than anything else, but he also knew Teomitl. Any children of his would be theirs.

“...Well.” Teomitl took a deep breath and relaxed back against him, starting to smile once more. This one held a teasing slant he knew well. “You don’t have to start worrying yet. I think I want you all to myself for at least a year or two.”

Then he was blushing in earnest, and Teomitl was chuckling, and the world around them was spun gold and honey.

[razberryyum]

The Untamed/陈情令 Rewatch, Episode 10, Part 1 of 2

(spoilers for everything MDZS/Untamed)

[covers MDZS chapters 29, 30 and 48…again, only kinda because things happen differently in the drama...I guess that’s why they call it an adaptation….]

WangXian meter: 🐰🐰🐰+ 🐰🐰🐰+ 🐰🐰🐰🐰+ 🐰🐰🐰+ 🐰🐰+ 🐰🐰+ 🐰+ 🐰🐰+🐰🐰🐰🐰+🐰

(Each WangXian scene automatically gets one 🐰 even if they’re just thinking of each other; one scene can earn up to five 🐰 depending on intensity of WangXian-ness. Each scene is separated by an “+”)

When I first watched this scene where Wei Ying was equating himself and Lan Zhan to Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen, I simply thought Wei Ying was just being flirty and adorable and didn’t attribute much significance to it beyond that, but now, after all that’s happened, it’s become so much more meaningful, especially to Lan Zhan, that not only do I love the moment so much more, but it also makes me feel that much sadder for Lan Zhan because of the almost careless way Wei Ying made the association.  Originally I think he did it as a means to gain Lan Zhan’s favor because Wei Ying sincerely wanted to be his friend and break through that cool exterior that Lan Zhan put up all the time. The romantic in me would like to think it’s also because Wei Ying was also starting to crush on him, butat the same time, realistically, I really don’t think Wei Ying in this point in time was even aware of his true feelings yet so while I don’t doubt his sincerity, his intentions were probably more simplistically platonic.  However, in contrast, for Lan Zhan, who was already “falling” for Wei Ying, the idea automatically embedded itself into his mind, so naturally he began to see Song Lan and XXC’s partnership as a goal in life.  Not only did the two cultivators embody their ideal of living without regrets while helping people, but growing up in a highly regulated environment, Lan Zhan probably also envied their freedom to live freely as they wanted.  

I really appreciate how Team CQL steadily lays down the bricks early on for the foundation of not only Wei Ying and Lan Zhan’s relationship but also for Lan Zhan’s character development so certain moments can build upon each other over time. This scene is a prime example of that: even though Lan Zhan didn’t react much to Wei Ying’s words at first, later on, as they were bidding farewell to Song Lan and XXC, the wistful expression on his face as he watched them leave followed by the deliberate way he looked at Wei Ying, again with that same expression, was a pretty good indication of just how much of what Wei Ying said earlier actually resonated with him.  

As time went on and he started to question the principles of his own sect and the cultivation world, I can only imagine how much more he longed to live the life that Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen did, with Wei Ying by his side. Therefore, when everything went so horribly wrong for the two cultivators, it’s no surprise that Lan Zhan took it to heart since it no doubt reminded him of happened to him and Wei Ying.  

Staring Contest

I just love all the many little times the two of them make eye contact, especially since, again, we went from Lan Zhan not even wanting to look at Wei Ying to this, where he almost can’t stop himself from looking his way. Again, brick building. Love it.  

You’re on your own, bro

Wei Ying instinctively protecting Lan Zhan from Xue Yang’s poisonous powder wasn’t surprising, but what did surprise me a little was the fact that he completely left poor Jiang Cheng to fend for himself. Didn’t even attempt to reach out to pull him back. If Jiang Cheng was keeping track of all the times Wei Ying was choosing Lan Zhan over him—and he probably was—that would definitely make his list (along with the aforementioned moment since it did sound like Wei Ying was giving up his place in Lotus Pier to go cultivate with Lan Zhan).  

SongXiao

When I first watched this episode, I remember thinking, “wait, they’re a couple too? How many gay couples are there in this show??” Seeing the way Song Lan swept down to protect XXC, how they called each other by their first names and referred to each other as good/close friends, naturally made me wonder if there was more to their relationship than meets the eye.  Of course the official MDZS answer is no, WangXian is the only gay couple in the story, but obviously Team CQL either didn’t get that memo or decided to ignore it so they can ship to their hearts’ content, or supply enough fodder to let us ship to our heart’s content. Whatever the reason, bless them for giving us these precious morsels which were unique to the drama since by the time we met the two of them in the novel, their lives had already gone to hell.  

I spend most of my time lamenting the suffering that WangXian had to go through before they were finally able to get their happy ending but truth of the matter is Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen probably suffered much more, especially since their ending was so much worse. Because they are called dao zhangs, I have to assume they live as Daoist priests and therefore have the vow of celibacy imposed on them as well, so whatever feelings they have for each other can only be emotionally consummated through chaste companionship and never through carnal fulfillment of any kind. Basically, unlike Wei Ying and Lan Zhan, everydaying could never be an option for them because of their lifestyle and beliefs. Being of much higher cultivation mindset (or so I assume since they’re much more revered), just being able to enjoy each other’s company was probably more than enough for them, and yet, even that they were denied. It’s like, they’re asking for so little and yet they are deprived of that in the most absolute way possible. So now, seeing the image of them walking away together, only fills me with immense sadness for them—I actually got a little teary-eyed over it tonight—knowing they will never be able to even enjoy something as simple as walking side by side with each other like that ever again.

Xue Yang

For how much I feel for SongXiao, again, I really should HATE Xue Yang, but dammit this evil monster is so damn hard to hate. If he was Lucifer in human form, my soul would be totally screwed. Every time I see Xue Yang again I can’t help but like him and want to see even more to him. Wang Haoxuan is very easy on the eyes, so that helps a lot, but it’s not just his looks, it’s also his very effective performance. He just looks like he’s having so much fun and by osmosis Xue Yang becomes fun to watch as well; it’s almost as if his joy at murder and mayhem is infectious. Everything he does works for me, like, I even got delicious excitement chills from just how he appears on the scene at the Yue Yang Chang sect...

...like some kind of sexy, malicious gargoyle of doom. The only other time I felt the same way is when Wei Ying first appeared as the Yiling Patriarch when he returned from the Burial Mounds. I said before that Xue Yang constantly has this DTF aura about him that makes him shippable with just about anyone and everyone, which makes this moment one of my favorites because I think his sexy evil energy was at maximum output while Wei Ying was feeling him down. It’s almost unfair how alluring he is, like all the time. I know his detractors absolutely don’t feel that way, and honestly, I envy being able to so resolutely dislike him.  

XueXiao

Considering all the pain and suffering he caused Xiao Xingchen I sometimes think Xue Yang doesn’t deserve to even be shipped with such a pure angel, but the two actors have such good chemistry it’s hard to resist. I mean, when Xue Yang said that to XXC, I seriously couldn’t wait until they met again and I was hoping we would get to see their future interactions (again, this was when I hadn’t read the novel yet and didn’t know what horrifying things were in store). And I felt this way even though I was already fully supporting SongXiao. I seriously don’t want to know what would have happened if Xue Yang had more interactions with Wei Ying; my WangXian-devoted heart is too afraid to even go there.

To be continued in Part 2...posted

[obeyme-and-you]

MC the Lamb Part 2

A look into the relationship of MC, Diavolo and Lucifer

Spoilers for chapter 37

Gabriel is Italics

Kimimela is Bold

MC’s Disciples

(The information used to explain the disciples was taken from this website https://www.britannica.com/topic/Apostle)

(Some of these Disciples don’t have much information about them or at all in some cases but they will be briefly mentioned for comparison sake still)

Fyi, even though 90% of the disciples are martyrs, and I do make jokes about them dying, I do not believe everyone is just gonna die, and I do believe that any character that may die, will come back.

Andrew and Diavolo

Andrew- The four main things that Andrew is known for are as follows: He was the first named Apostle named, he was the brother of Peter, he was one of the disciples to ask Jesus what the signs of the end of the world would be (Mark 13), and he was crucified on a cross in the shape of an “X”.

Diavolo- Similar to Andrew, Diavolo is the first of the twelve characters to be named within the game. Diavolo is very close to Lucifer, and probably sees him as a brother (which is possibly part of the reason why Diavolo was jealous of Lucifer and his brothers’ relationship to MC and why he doesn’t know if he can trust Lucifer to be on his side in the end). In chapter 37 of Obey Me, Diavolo tells MC how he believes that MC is the reason for all the weird things that are happening between the three realms. The earthquakes, the destruction of temples, a lake in the Celestial Realm drying up…, Diavolo has blamed MC for some “world ending” events. The crucifixion of Andrew on a cross in the shape of an “X” could mean that Diavolo could be killed, or it could mean nothing :). 

Peter and Lucifer

Kill me now

Peter- Peter is the brother of Andrew, one of Jesus’ three “pillars”, he was known as the leader of the twelve disciples, he was wavering and unsure of his relationship with the church of Antioch (the first Gentile church was founded in Antioch, which is were there’s the first recording of people being called Christians) but he was also known at times to be resolute. At times he was depicted as rash and hasty, or irritable and capable of great anger, and also had a forceful personality. Often pictured as gentle but firm, in terms of his relationship to Jesus, he was loyal and loving. Unlearned in terms of Mosaic Law (the 613 testaments of Moses in the first five books of the Hebrew bible, the lists are different depending on the interpretations presented), took to learning slowly and was wrong time and time again about them, but once entrusted with responsibility, he shown he was capable and mature. 

Was constantly the first question Jesus about his parables, was a spokesman, enjoyed his precedence over the other disciples, and when the disciples were discussed, he would always be named first, and at times the only one named. He was the one who faced a moment of weakness and denied Jesus (as in, when asked if he knew who Jesus was, at a time when he could’ve faced punishment, he denied knowing who he was). Before he denied Jesus, he sought to overrule the prophecy Jesus gave about his denial and said, that even if the other disciples abandoned Jesus, he would suffer death rather than disown him. This was rooted in his love of Jesus, and his overestimation in his own abilities. Afterwards he faced great guilt over it.

Lucifer- Lucifer has a very close relationship to Diavolo, now in terms of “brotherly” from his side is debatable. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

In terms of his relationship to MC, it is heavily pushed that he would be one of MC’s “pillars” for many reasons. He is the one who’s constantly trying his best to look out for MC’s wellbeing and helps them throughout their stay in the Devildom. He put Mammon in charge of keeping MC safe (even if not his best move in the beginning let’s be honest) and he saved MC when Leviathan attempted to kill them. Even though there are times where he is VERY bad at showing he cares, he truly does try his best. Also, in terms of his relationship with MC, is his wavering relationship with them and his brothers relationships with MC. On one hand he has shown time and time again, being fiercely protective of them, but on the flip side, in the beginning of the story, he had threatened MC’s life a uh, couple, of times because he didn’t trust MC and their adamancy in trying to gain packs with his brothers and interfering with their relationships. He also didn’t like how close his brothers were getting to MC, but didn’t try and stop them completely. 

Lucifer has been shown to be very resolute when it comes to protecting his brothers, MC, and in his loyalty to Diavolo. When he locked Belphegor in the attic, this was a rash and hasty decision on his part, because he was trying to keep him safe while remaining loyal to Diavolo. Another time he was rash and hasty, and capable of great anger, was when he found Luke in the royal tomb holding the grimoire. In his fury he almost killed Luke, Beelzebub, and MC, and was going to kill them in order to protect the grimoire. I feel like I don’t really have to explain him having a forceful personality, it’s a pretty obvious trait of his. There have been many cases of him being gentle and firm to both his brothers and MC. He does his best in terms of protecting them and taking care of them. He greatly cares for MC, both in terms of loyalty in keeping them safe, and his general love for them, to the point that Diavolo and Barbatos wonder that if the time comes, will he remain loyal to Diavolo. (Thinking about in chapter 20 when MC goes to talk with Lucifer and can give him a hug goodbye instead of a kiss and he thinks you must be in love with someone else ah ha ha ha,,, T-T)

Alright, in terms of him being unlearned in Mosaic law and being slow to learn it and also wrong in its understanding many times, there’s two main ways this could be interpreted. First one being in terms of when he first came to the Devildom it would’ve taken him time to understand the drastically different rules there to the Celestial Realm. The second way would be in terms of dealing with and taking care of MC. It took him, many times, to properly handle MC and their needs, and the fact they seem to be a magnet for trouble and a little too curious for their own good. He was,,, a bit slow in that department. But, just like in both situations, once he figured it out, he was dependable and trustworthy in his job.

He, constantly, questions MC and their antics. He questioned them when they seemed curious about the attic, questioned them and what they think they’re doing making pacts with his brothers, and questions them every time they decide to make a stupid decision (which, quite frankly, is a lot). 

When it came down to talking on behalf of the brothers, Lucifer was typically the one who did it (exception for MC being the spokesperson when protecting the brothers from both Lucifer and Diavolo which caused part of his Problems™ with MC). He was the one who directly talked to Diavolo about any concerns for the brothers or MC. 

Lucifer definitely takes pride (heh) in his role as the oldest. He has brought up the fact that he is the oldest, and therefore the strongest and one in charge against his brothers and he takes a certain amount of pride in having Diavolo rely on him. He is also typically the first one on everyone’s lips when talking about any of the brothers. There are numerous times where he’s the only one talked about and is typically the first one mentioned. Not to mention there are times where it’s “Lucifer’s and his brothers”, him being the only one named.

Peter and Lucifer comparison 

“He was the one who faced a moment of weakness and denied Jesus (as in, when asked if he knew who Jesus was, at a time when he could’ve faced punishment, he denied knowing who he was). Before he denied Jesus, he sought to overrule the prophecy Jesus gave about his denial and said, that even if the other disciples abandoned Jesus, he would suffer death rather than disown him. This was rooted in his love of Jesus, and his overestimation in his own abilities. Afterwards he faced great guilt over it.”

This is where things become a bit complicated. Peter denied Jesus three times, aka betrayed him three times. Lucifer has done two big betrayals to MC. Both of those being almost murder, but he really hasn’t had a third time, at least one that’s big enough in my opinion to account for this. This is why, if you remember in the Mammon essay, I, very briefly, mention how Lucifer choosing between country/Diavolo or MC isn’t as easy to come to a conclusion for. He has an obligation to Diavolo and is not one to back down against his word, especially in terms of protecting his family. (Demons and deals come to mind, possibly making Lucifer literally bound to his word) If it came down to it, he will always choose them over MC. 

Lucifer actually questions MC if they would choose their duty or love in chapter 30-19.“... You remember the play we put on for the school festival, right? My character… the prince… was forced to make a difficult decision. He had to decide whether to fulfill his royal duty by marrying the princess, or to throw everything away in the name of love… MC, if you were in the prince’s shoes, what would you have done? … Actually… …Never mind. I’ve said more than I should.” 

Lucifer, at that point of time, is questioning himself on which he would choose. Will he choose Diavolo? Or will he choose MC? (If he even can) The problem with this lies in the fact that he will overestimate his ability to do both. He has already proven how far he’s willing to go to follow his duty and protect those he loves, and it proved it blow up in his face then. This happened when he locked Belphegor in the attic. He was trying to protect his brother from Diavolo cause he knew Belphegor would’ve been severely punished, but he was trying to remain loyal to Diavolo and it proved to be too much. Even though he deeply cares for MC and truly does believe he can be loyal to both, he won’t be able to. In the Mammon essay, it talks about how you can’t serve two masters, you will always love one more than the other. “Ye cannot serve God and Mammon”, or in this case, Lucifer cannot serve MC and Diavolo. He will have to choose, and in the moment I truly believe he will choose Diavolo, and that will probably be one of his biggest regrets. First he loses Lilith, and now he loses MC, but unlike with Lilith, he could have chosen to protect MC. And by choosing Diavolo, he may lose his brothers too.

PREVIOUS: MC the Lamb Part 1 / NEXT: MC the Lamb Part 3

[talltalesandbedtimestories]

The Hunter Who Loved Me (Part 2)

Series Page

Characters/Pairing: Dean Winchester, Castiel, Jack Kline, Dean x OFC

Series Summary: Part Three of Some Sunny Day. Dean’s trying to balance his new relationship with Julie and his need to hunt. How long can he keep it from her? And can Julie keep her curiosity at bay?

Section Word Count: 8100

Section Content: language, fluff, angst, lots of dirty talk, role playing (a little of Dean taking orders and giving them), lots of smut, face riding

“So. Dean. This list. Enjoyment versus Duty.” Tricia lifted up a piece of paper. Dean squinted at his therapist on the screen. She’d printed out his hurried picture snap of the scribblings he’d texted over the other day. “First, I appreciate some of the venn diagramming going on here.”

Dean smiled, as proud as a little kid about to get their artwork slapped to the fridge. “Is there a ‘but’ coming?”

Tricia’s pixie cut spiked up her greys in the haphazard “I don’t give a fuck” style. It was 8am Tricia time, on a Wednesday morning. She sipped from a beer bottle. Salivating like Pavlov’s dog, Dean slid his tongue against the roof of his mouth. It seemed almost sacrilegious to watch her drink alone. But he’d been trying to wait until at least mid-afternoon before any alcohol passed his lips. “Second,” her small, bright blue eyes blinked away the question behind her glasses, “I was expecting you’d ask for more explanation or guidance on the task.” She placed the paper out of view on her desk and studied it for further inspection.

“You clearly don’t know me well enough, Doc.”

“Well, the arrogant part of me thinks I do. You take orders and fulfill them without question, when you agree with their importance and merit.” Her almost unnoticeable, grey eyebrows lifted over the top rim of her glasses. “I thought you’d think this was bullshit.”

Dean shrugged. “Maybe all this psychobabble crap is rubbing off on me.”

“You have your original masterpiece with you so we can reference it together?”

Dean tapped the paper on the coffee table. “Right here.”

“So. It looks like you’ve got the sheet broken down with enjoyment on the left and duty on the right. This first drawing. You have a ‘hunting life’ circle really big on the duty side, and a smaller one, labeled ‘being with family’, right inside it.”

“The whole enjoyment and duty thing going together that we talked about. Is that not right?”

“No right or wrong in this assignment, Dean. Just gives us things to discuss.” She leaned back in her chair a bit. “Hunting became everything for your family?”

“Hunting was my family. I know you know the stories, Doc. Hunter’s have the loosest lips on the planet, amongst themselves.”

“Humor me and pretend I didn’t hunt for decades and don’t know a damn thing.”

He sighed. “Before I was even born. Both parents. Both families. The Winchesters. The Campbells. I didn’t learn about the lineage, the legacy, the responsibility we all had in God’s master plan until much later.” Tricia took a swig from the bottle as she listened. His lips smacked together. Fuck it. It’s five o’clock somewhere. “I need a drink. Keep going. I’ll be right back.” He darted to the fridge.

“So.” Tricia’s voice rose. “Is it safe to say that the duty to your family, all that went along with that, ate away at the enjoyment of them?”

The fridge door swung shut and Dean popped the top off a cold one. He tipped his head back. The much needed liquid flowed down his throat. A large gulp filled his inner ear. “Ah.” There it was. The sweet, temporary relief. “Yeah! I’d say duty sat down at an all you can eat buffet, wearing a large ass fuckin’ bib, and went to town on enjoyment.” He yelled back at the laptop and placed the bottle on his breakfast bar. Flat palms leaned into the counter. He bent back, arms locked and stared at the vinyl kitchen flooring he kept meaning to replace.

“Any enjoyment at all, being with family?”

He sighed, rose up, swiped at the bottle and brought it back with him to the couch. “Yeah, of course.” My head hurts. Fucking finding feelings crap. “Taking care of Sammy’s that one circle in the middle of both columns with a line down the middle.”

“Taking care of him brought you enjoyment along with duty?”

He nodded at the screen with a ‘yeah, obviously, or I wouldn’t have written it down’ expression.

“I find it interesting that you had to title it ‘taking care of Sammy’ instead of say, being a big brother.” Dean leaned back, not knowing what to add to that little bit of insight from Tricia. “So. What filled both of those, enjoyment and duty, when you didn’t have to take care of him anymore? You said it’s been over two years since you and Sam have hunted together.”

“I don’t know. Bounty huntin’, this house, Cas and Jack, the occasional job.”

“But not really anything outside of that? No new territory explored or relationships that didn’t relate to those things? At least, prior to Julie?”

“No. Hung up my adventurous hat.”

“Scales tipped more on the enjoyment or duty end?”

“Before Julie? Duty filled up the days.”

“Explain the last drawing to me.”

Fuck. “Those diagrams. I don’t always see them as connecting, so much as pulling apart.”

“Explain.”

Dean sighed. “You know those magnified videos of cells dividing? Ones we’d have to watch in Sex Ed?”

Tricia nodded. “Cell division after fertilization.”

He focused on the drawing to which Tricia referred. “I’m enjoying her right now.” He looked down at the circle on the left. “But, it’s only a matter of time before hunting, that duty, pulls me away. Or she pulls away because of the hunting. Away from me.” The edges of the equally proportioned Julie and Dean circles barely touched each other between the dividing line.

“So. Can you put Julie in the duty column with you?”

Dean shook his head. “She doesn’t deserve that.”

“But, you do?”

“It’s all I know, Doc.” Dean mumbled.

“Back to Julie and sharing the duty. She might want that. Has nothing to do with deserving.” Tricia spoke, a little softer. The tone reminded him of Mary, when she had to reel in her impatience with her grown-ass sons acting like kids. “We all have duty in life, Dean. Those duties change, shift, evolve. And they can co-exist with enjoyment. You are a hunter. But, you aren’t just a hunter. Just like Julie isn’t just an accounting manager.”

“She goes all in with the duty and she’s in danger. All the time. Even now, being on the edge of it...” He sat up and chugged the beer. “There’s no way this is going to work, me riding this line between in and out. It’s me being selfish. Me wanting something with her is…”

“Human.” Tricia ended. “You won’t know what she can or can’t handle unless you're honest with her.”

“I tell her and it’s over.” He thumbed the opening of the bottle.

“Is that the worst thing that could happen?”

“No. The worst thing would be that she dies.” He nodded, resolute. “Because of me.”

Tricia’s thin lips pursed. The lids shut slowly over her blue eyes, then opened to stare at him. “Dean. I understand that over the past forty years you’ve been given a burden of unimaginable responsibility. Unfair, unwanted, unbelievable responsibility. Understand that simply your existence or being in close proximity to Julie does not make you responsible for every bad thing that could possibly happen to her.”

“I don’t buy that, Doc. That’s a fuckin’ cop out. My decisions make a difference. Actions have consequences.” He heard the resistance in his own voice.

Dean watched her hold in a sigh. “Of course they do. But, it’s the motive behind those actions that define your responsibility for the outcome.”

“I don’t know. Maybe I made a mistake, you know? Getting involved with a… civilian, for lack of a better word. It’s a lot to ask of someone. This life.”

“It is. But, there are lots of couples who are in similar situations. Military spouses, for example. Someone goes off to war, there’s no guarantee they come back. There’s a certain amount of independence and resilience necessary in both partners for those relationships to have any chance of success. Does Julie possess those qualities?”

Dean smiled. “Yeah, I think so.”

“What attracted you to her?”

“Besides her hot little nosey ass?”

Tricia shook her head and smirked. “I’ve got the initial attraction part down. I mean when you interacted. Her personality? Manner?”

Dean reminisced about the first day they met. When he mowed her lawn. When they shared dinner in the backyard. “She was real. Wasn’t putting on an act.”

“You’ve got radar for that stuff?”

“My bullshit meter is very sensitive and highly accurate.” Dean confirmed with an assured nod, then explained further. “She was careful, too. And, considerate.” He chuckled to himself. “She sent me home with some cobbler.”

“Dean?”

“Hm?”

“Would you like to be able to be real with Julie? And, not have to bullshit?”

Dean scoffed. “I’m not…”

Tricia tilted her head. “This dancing around the truth is only going to work for so long. It will exhaust you. Get you more on edge. Understand, I have no doubt you care for her and don’t want to hurt her. But, you can’t expect a strong relationship to be built on a foundation of half-truths. This will damage any chance of being with her long term if you aren’t honest about everything. Soon. So. Do you want to be real with her? Let her really see you? Hear your story? See if she wants you for who you are and can handle the job? Share the responsibility with you?”

The moments ticked by. “Let’s just say, hypothetically, I wanted all those things…” Dean’s gaze flitted over the keyboard. “How do I break it to her?”

The silence was deafening in Dean’s ears as he waited for an answer. “Well, if you want, during our next session, we can brainstorm, act out some scenarios.”

He nodded. “I’ll think about it.”

“Good. So. Will we be good for the same time next week?”

“Unless a job comes up.”

“Uh-huh. Well, if that does happen, I’m happy to reschedule and work around a job. Alright?”

She ain’t letting me out that easy. “Yeah, Tricia.”

*

Hot little librarian is home. Julie shut the driver’s side door of her compact and strolled out from the carport. Her fingers fiddled with her messenger bag strap. A serious look - what she would call her “resting bitch face” - appeared to inspect something on the path. The car beeped like a preschool toy.

Dean caught the moment Julie realized he sat under the enclosed patio in her backyard. A glance in his direction halted her, then produced a wide smile that he couldn’t help but match. She began the walk toward him. He licked his lips in appreciation at the tight pencil skirt and form fitting blazer in a matching purple. She even had a crisp white button up underneath. Damn. Heels replaced her usual flats. Hips swayed. Hair, twisted up in a tight bun, showed off the slope of her neck. When she got within ear shot, he rumbled, “I wouldn’t have let you leave the house if I’d seen that outfit this morning, sweetheart.”

Eyes narrowed behind her glasses. “Do I need your approval for what I wear?”

“Nope. I just wouldn’t have let you leave the house.” He wanted to say more but Wes and Samuel were in their backyard.

Julie got the hint and smiled over to the neighbors, offering a wave, before staring back at Dean. “Had that big presentation today.” She reminded him.

“Ah.” Something about projections and investments. Dean nodded. “How’d it go?”

“Eh.” She scratched the side of her neck. “It’s done. I’m home. And, you’re here.” She noticed the pizza box on the patio table. “A Margherita from Cosimo’s?”

He grinned at how her eyes lit up.

She pointed to her back door. “Why aren’t you inside?”

He shrugged. “Wanted to wait for you out here.” He inventoried her again. “Making me regret that decision. Inside would be much better for what I want to do right now.”

Julie dropped her messenger bag on the concrete and bent down to give him a kiss. There was firm intent behind the pressure of her lips on his. “Give me a slice of that first.” She smiled and slid into the chair beside him, snatching the bottle of iced tea he’d placed nearby.

Dean flipped the box lid open and presented the pie with a flourish.

“Hm.” Julie took in a whiff of the mozzarella, tomato sauce, and basil symphony. Her fingers danced above and over the selection like a conductor, eventually pulling out the slice Dean had eyed for himself. It had a singed bubble of dough and leaned a tad on the wrong side of crispy.  She folded it in half and dangled the tip near his mouth. “Share?”

She read his mind in that way she always did when it came to food, satisfying his tummy and his heart. Damnit, Jules. He snatched at the offering with his teeth. Mozzarella threatened to fall off the dough. But he gobbled about a third of it up to prevent any spillage.

She giggled and took her own enjoyment with the half eaten piece, pushing a napkin out from under the box toward him. “Thank you for getting dinner.”

He finished munching before answering. “I had time. Work’s been slow and I was home.”

“I’ve noticed not much on the hunting end.” She smiled. “Wouldn’t be because I’ve been tiring you out this past week?” She licked the sauce off her lips.

He gnawed at his bottom lip, then grabbed another piece for himself. “Might be.” He tore into the slice with abandon. “I may be turning down jobs so I can be home every night.” A wiggle of his eyebrows accompanied his stare that stretched down to her crossed legs. “And, I’m so glad I stayed home tonight.”

Julie shook her head and sipped at her drink.

He cleared his throat. “I wanted to talk to you about something.” He knew the tone in his voice would shift her posture into cautious mode. She sat up straight in her seat. “I’ve been thinking…”

“Thinking’s good.” She took another bite.

He pursed his lips for emphasis before continuing. “Sam. Eileen. They’ve got about a month or so before she pops.”

“Yeah. I’m sure they’re super excited and nervous.” Julie nodded.

“Was thinking, maybe I should go to California and visit for a while.”

He thought he spotted a tinge of sadness as she processed the assumed details. She slumped a fraction. “I think that’s a great idea.” She picked at some cheese. “How long do you think you’ll be gone? With the drive back and forth, and all?”

He spoke, still chewing. “Might buy a plane ticket. You know, cut down on the time away.”

Her eyes widened. “Are you contemplating a cross country flight?”

He grinned and shrugged. “Got a reason or two to wanna come back to Delaware sooner rather than later.”

Julie smiled more to herself, a little pink painting her cheeks.

“Unless…” He inhaled sharp, then exhaled. Do you want to be real with her? “Would you…” He sighed under her stare. “Would you be able to take some time off from work? Go with me? In a couple weeks, maybe?”

Surprise washed over her face. “I’d have to check, submit a leave request right away.” She paused. “Where would we stay?”

“Sam’s always telling me they have a ton of space at their house.”

“Are you sure, Dean?”

He smiled. “Yes, sweetheart. If you want to, I want you along for the ride.” That made her beam back at him. He shook his head. “But, it ain’t gonna be pretty.”

Her mouth tilted, waiting for explanation.

“Me, on a plane.”

She laughed and reached for his hand. “But, it will be entertaining.”

He huffed. “Thanks.”

Her fingers threaded around his. There was a slight change in her expression. “So?”

It was his turn to wait, but he continued to eat. Grabbing another slice with his free hand.

“You like this outfit?” Her voice had lowered, mindful of the outdoor company, but obvious in an attempt to get a literal rise out of him.

He stopped in mid-chew. Swallowed. Almost choked at the laser focus Julie donned behind the lenses. She leaned forward. He wished she had a few more shirt buttons undone. “Yeah.” He squeaked out, not recognizing the voice that emerged from his throat. He tried again, lower. “Yeah.”

“Does it remind you of something in particular?” She smiled, watching him. Her eyes narrowed. “Are you blushing?” She whispered.

He straightened up, shaking his head. Another scoff. “No.” His cheeks were most definitely warming up.

She squeezed his hand. “Come on. Tell. What installment of the Casa Erotica series is playing in that head of yours?”

He thought back to a night, maybe a month back. It was Dean’s turn to pick a movie and he thought he’d be a smartass and pop in a porn flick. Julie had been up to the challenge. So much so that after about ten minutes in, they were having sex on the couch. The background soundtrack and noises from the television had turned it into an exceptionally fun experience. Julie did her damndest to outdo the moans; Dean, the cheesy dialogue. The memory made his lips pop out in a corkscrew grin. Aw, Jules. Would you be jealous of the fact that I’ve slept with Carmelita from Cabana Nights or jealous that you didn’t get the chance to yourself?

“Is it the one that had the CEO Boss Lady of DRILLER?” She leaned back in her seat and broke the grip, thinking hard. “Or the Professor at CUN Tech?”

“Those were all awesome. Certainly could apply.” He licked his lips. “But, no.”

“Not what immediately came to mind. Huh.” She tapped a finger to her cheek. Then, she snapped her fingers. “Librarian?”

Dean felt his eyes go wide.

“Dean.” She whispered. “I haven’t seen you read a book. When’s the last time you were in a library?”

He shrugged, then chuckled. “Couple years back. I’ve been in lots of libraries.”

“Really?” Her mind was working. It was sexy as hell. Dean’s arousal pressed against the now tight denim. A quick gaze to his lap had her eyes pop open. She cleared her throat, then snapped her eyes up to his. “Got any overdue books you need to return?”

Oh, it’s on. “A couple.”

“Well, I’m sure you’re aware, Mr. Winchester...” She adjusted her glasses and held his stare. “There’s a penalty when they’re brought back late.”

His eyebrows rose. “How big of a penalty are we talkin’?”

“Depends on the length.” She smirked. “Of time the books have been checked out.”

“Oh, wow.” He scratched the back of his neck and did his best ‘Aw Shucks’ expression. “I think I’ve had one for two years. It’s, ah, hard… cover.” He shrugged.

Julie stifled a giggle. “Two years? I don’t have any experience with a delinquency THAT LONG overdue.” She shook her head. “Really, Mr. Winchester.” She stood up and grabbed her messenger bag. “I’ll have to go check our files in the back and look up the fine for that.” Acting disappointed, she sighed. “You can meet me in the periodicals section on the second floor in about five minutes. Then we’ll get things squared away.”

He gazed up at her. “I guess I’ll get what’s coming to me.”

She nodded. “Actions have consequences.” The phrase he’d uttered to his therapist earlier that day slapped him in the face. It knocked him out of the daze of the sultry game for some seconds. “Don’t be late this time.” A curt nod punctuated her flirty command.

He watched her ass sway away, even more sass and bounce in those hips than usual. The view centered his focus on the task at hand. Hot damn. I guess we’re really doing this role playing thing. The sliding door closed. He contemplated waiting a minute before going inside. It made sense to stay on her good side, give her time for whatever her dirty little mind was thinking up. In case we can do this again. He closed the pizza box and packed up the other takeout items, cleaned up the space, and headed in to find his sexy librarian.

Dean dropped the food off in the kitchen and put everything where he knew Julie liked things. He checked his watch every ten seconds to give her the five minutes she had requested. Then, he took the stairs up two at a time. His heart sped up and his cock hardened with each step. He gripped the railing and stopped at the top, glancing around the landing. His chest heaved. The office door was closed. Never closed. The quick click to snap his jaw shut held back a moan of gratitude.

A shuffle over to the door, then his knuckles hovered as he contemplated the best knock. Tap, tap. Pause. Tap.

“Come in.”

Dean grinned. He was curious how long she’d be able to play along without cracking. A deep throat clearing on his part was mostly for her enjoyment. He pushed the latch and entered. She waited for him seated at her desk. A swivel of the office chair in his direction gave Dean a good look at her attire. He couldn’t suppress the groan at the slight alterations she’d made to her work outfit.

Julie had switched out her glasses. To the thick black rim glasses she wears at home. Legs crossed. The professional work heels from earlier were replaced with shiny black stilettos. The white shirt under the blazer had been unbuttoned so low that Dean got more than a peek at the white lace bra underneath. His mouth watered. A hunger filled up his belly having little to do with food. “Mr. Winchester. Have a seat, please.” She motioned to the sofa. Both her hands wrapped over one knee cap.

Dean played up the nerves with a hand to his neck. The room was bright from the ceiling fan light. He inhaled. She put on my favorite perfume. She’d pulled the roman shades all the way down. Whatever we’re about to get up to isn’t for the neighbors to see. He walked over and sat as instructed. Elbows rested on his knees. Legs splayed wide apart. He leaned forward. The springs in the sofa bed cushion creaked. “How much trouble am I in, Ma’am?” It took every ounce of his control to not return her slight smirk with a grin.

“Not good news, I’m afraid.” She shook her head. “Turns out that book was extremely valuable. I found a note from the head curator in the catalogue database with strict orders. We’ve been asked to release information to the police about the person that returns it.”

Shit. She’s doing a whole backstory and everything. My busty little bookworm. Dean raised his hands in slight defense. “Oh, woah, wait a minute. That’s a little extreme, isn’t it?”

A shoulder raised. She uncrossed her legs and swiped at the fabric over her thighs. “I’m afraid my hands are tied, Mr. Winchester.” She had to throw that out there. Hands tied. He didn’t know how much more his cock could take.

He did his best Sam impression. Wide, puppy dog eyes begged. “There has to be another way. Some other penalty or… punishment.” Her eyes lit up at that word. Dean swallowed. “Please, Ma’am. I’ll do anything.”

One of Julie’s eyebrows quirked up. “Excuse me for being so forward, Mr. Winchester. But, you don’t appear to adhere to the simplest of rules. It’s almost as if you like misbehaving.” She straightened in the seat and popped the two buttons of her blazer free. A slow strip peeled the jacket from her shoulders and arms. There was precision and care taken to rest it on the chair back. She turned back, focused on his reaction, her knees locked together. “Do you like being punished?”

Woah. This is definitely new. Dean licked his lips. “I-I guess.”  

“Well, then… maybe we can find some way for you to atone for this egregious error.” Mischief lined her lips before she bit the bottom one. Her fingers went to work on the buttons of her blouse next.

His nostrils flared at the sight of her bare skin when she turned to place the shirt with the same care on the chair back. He wanted to run his fingers up the dip of her spine. The creamy lace caged those breasts he wanted to squeeze and lick. “I’ll do anything.” He repeated, groaning. The act was long gone.

“Will you?” He could see the sweet struggle on her face to stay in character. In control. Her hands fanned across the frilly fabric of the bra cups. Nails, coated in wine colored polish, scratched at the lace. The nipples, already pebbling and popping through the flimsy material, hardened further at her touch. Those big brown eyes closed and her chest arched forward.

“Damn, Jules.” He swallowed.

“Want to touch me?” Her eyes opened and returned to his gaze.

“You fucking have to ask?” He grumbled, burning with want.

“Hands and knees.” She smiled, sure and in charge now. She’d won the battle. Her eyes did not break from his. “Crawl for it.”

He smirked. “Want me begging for it, huh?”

The speed of her breath quickened and she gasped, continuing to play with her nipples. “Yes, Mr. Winchester.”

“Alright, Ma’am.” He slinked onto the area rug with a soft pounce, bent arms settling onto his palms. He contracted his fingers, getting a grip of the material, before his knees followed. The surprise and excitement on her face at his action was worth the theatrics. He surveyed and stalked her like a lion. The pace towards her was slow and steady. His gaze never left hers.

Dean angled his head to watch her reaction as he approached. Her hands were squeezing the bra cups now. She bit her bottom lip. Dean halted as her legs parted. The skirt rode up her creamy thighs. Her ass scooted towards the edge of the chair. He got an amazing view of what awaited him.

“No panties, sweetheart.” A low growl left his throat. He rocked back and rose up, sitting on the heels of his sneakers. His hand reached out to touch her thigh.

“No hands.” She whimpered. “Nothing but that mouth and tongue on me.”

He grinned. “That’s my punishment?”

She stilled. “You’re right. That would be too good for you.”

Dean wanted to slap himself. Should have kept my goddamn mouth shut.

Julie’s nails clawed at her thighs, slow and purposeful. Light pink trails skirted over the flesh. She shifted on the seat, pulled the skirt up past those hips to bunch at her waist. She straddled the edge of the seat with a wide stance, her legs bent at perfect ninety degrees.

“You’re fucking gorgeous, you know that right?” Dean shook his head.

“Flattery will get you nowhere.” She shot back. “But, thank you.” The palm of her right hand cupped her pussy. “Is this what you wanted?”

“Yes.” Dean nodded. She pulled her hand back, let him watch while one finger tested the waters between her folds. “Oh, I so want that.” He added.

“How do you want it?” Her middle finger dipped inside. “Nice and slow?” She slipped a second digit into the mix. “Fast and loose?”

“What do you want right now, Jules?” He shook his head, licked his lips, and clenched the denim covering his thighs. “Whatever you want, baby.”

The blush broke the act. There she is. A gasp left her mouth. “Really?”

Dean arched his brows. “Of course.”

Her lips rubbed together. “Lie on your back?” She stared at him, hard, then let the request escape her mouth. “I want to ride your face.”

Shit. How long has she been keeping that on reserve? He flopped onto his back, and onto the rug, like a dog playing dead. He tapped his chest. “I’ve died and gone to heaven. Get up here, sweetheart.”

His focus was on the ceiling fan above him, whirring as fast as his X-rated thoughts. Her giggle filled his ears. “Why do you have to be so addictive?”

He shrugged. “Could ask the same thing about you? But, I’m all about this mid-life sexcapade. I mean, any moment, you could go running for the hills.” Her frame was above him in a second, by his side. She was a disheveled, sexy, hot fucking mess. His tongue clicked. “May I suggest you take off the skirt?” His hand drifted up the back of her bare leg, from ankle to calf, resting on the back of a knee. “But keep the heels and bra on. Please.” Rug fibers rubbed into the back of his head as he tilted. “For now, at least.”

She nodded. The side zipper released. Fabric puddled and bunched atop his forearm, trapping her movement. He stared at all of her from his vantage. A deep breath steadied him. He slid his hand out from under the skirt. Both hands locked behind his head, cradling it.

“Whenever you’re ready, sweetheart.” He smiled.

She stepped out of the skirt and swished it away. Her soft tummy and hips jiggled. “I’ve never done this before.”

“I guaran-fucking-tee there’s no way you can disappoint me.” Dean chuckled. He sighed when she stepped over him, heels twisting into the rug. “Such a pretty view.”

*

The rush and embarrassment of being pantiless for Dean’s inspection from a very new angle flooded through Julie’s veins. Her whole body was on fire. He was relaxed now, leaning back onto the rug like it was a towel on a sandy beach. He was content now, staring up at her with brilliant bright green eyes. “Such a pretty view.”

“Pointers?” She shrugged.

“Well,” his palms unclasped from behind his head and latched onto the ankles caging him on either side. “You aren’t going to sit as much as hover. A throw pillow from the sofa will help get me into a better position.” He smirked. “And those pretty thighs need to get up by my head. Pronto.” A throat clearing followed. “You can face forward or do a reverse cowgirl up here.” His eyebrows wiggled.

Julie bit her lip.

“What are you thinking about it?” Dean asked. “Now’s not the time to be thinking.”

“It’s just… I want to, but…”

His bottom lip sucked back into his mouth. The tip of his tongue peeked out for an agonizing, tantalizing second. He was grazing over her figure from down below. “You know, I’m really enjoying this, Jules. How could I not? If that’s what you’re worried about. Don’t. And, you get to continue this little dominant dance you started. Fucking hot as hell. You’re in charge.”

She sighed.

“You’re good at it. Giving orders. It’s fun to switch roles every now and then. Come on.” His ass squirmed into the rug now and he smiled. “Break in this bronco.”

“I give orders everywhere else, Dean.” She pulled out of his cuffed palms and took a couple steps to grab a tiny pillow for his head. He ‘oofed’ and chuckled when she tossed it onto his face. “I know I’m good at it. But, I like it when you take the lead.” She melted onto the floor and sat by his head, leaning into the front of the sofa. The back of her high heels curled against bare ass cheeks.

He cocked his head around to stare up at her once he got comfy on the pillow. She teased at the strands of his hair. “I know you do, sweetheart.” His voice lowered further. “Honest? In this moment?”

Oh. He’s using it against me now.

“The thought of your business being all up in my face, with you on top… kind of makes you feel totally exposed, right?” He asked, reaching for her. The warmth of his hand caressed a thigh.

“Yeah.”

“You got to switch that thought process. It’s all up to you. I’m just a means to get you to an end.” A throaty groan slipped out of his perfect pout. “And, I fucking love that idea. With you especially, baby. I wanna give you that control. Let me let go of it. The need to be in charge for a while.” The final three words came out in a soft beg. His eyes narrowed. “Ride me, sweetheart.”

His voice made her core clench, like always. She was slick, ready. “Sounds like an order.” A massive grin threatened to emerge but she fought it back. “I’m surprised I can still walk after the week I’ve had with you. Now, I have to ride you.”

He didn’t hold back the cheesy, ear to ear grin. “Oh, yeah. It’s gonna tire you out. But, I promise, you’ll love it.” Julie lifted up onto her knees and shuffled closer. He stared back at her, upside down, arching his eyebrows. “Oh, so it’s reverse cowgirl, huh?” He hummed in satisfaction.

Julie frowned, realizing an important fact with this particular position. “I don’t get to watch that pretty face of yours.”

Forearms disappeared behind her. Those huge biceps flexed and stretched the fabric of his grey and white flannel. His palms patted the back of her thighs, trying to edge her forward. “Trust me, baby.” He tilted his chin up. “We can do it all sorts of ways. Next time.”

She nodded and held her breath, luxuriating in the fact that she knew there would be a next time. So many next times. The anxiousness crept in again. But, she situated herself above his face.

The groan of delight from him was one she had heard countless times. “Fuck.” He whispered. She clenched again. “Absolutely nothing to be blushing about from where I’m at.”

The bulge straining against his jeans became somewhat of a needed distraction and fortified her courage. God help me. This man is ruining me in the best way imaginable. Her knees wedged under the comfy material covering those hunky shoulders. The seam and soft give of the pillow rested against her calves. Her gaze dipped down, tracked his head tunnelling between her thighs. She lost sight of his eyes and nose and top lip.

His mouth dropped open to speak. “Get down here, sweetheart.” He urged. She quivered at the hot breath hitting her pussy. “You can lean on me. Remember, I’m here to be used. If you get a little carried away and I can’t breathe, I’ll tap out.” He chuckled and shot more heat up to her core. A few light kisses covered her inner thigh. “You do whatever feels good. No shame in your game.”

“Dean?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“Shut up.” Her palms splayed atop his shirt covering his pecs. Those perky little nipples pressed into her skin. His chest was strong and supportive; the view of his supine body was quite spectacular. Even if he had way too many layers on. One bow leg shifted as he planted a sneaker against the base of her filing cabinet to steady himself.  Arms locked, she guided herself down and closed her eyes.

It was the scruff of his chin that connected first. A gasp left her mouth. He’d maneuvered a bit, could feel him searching with his lips. He glided all over her wet and swelling flesh. Fingers had sunk into the plush of her ass cheeks. He found her entrance with his mouth. Then, he moaned. It rumbled into her pussy. He played her body like an expert musician. The tip of his tongue circled her hole.

“Shit!” She pushed into his stiffening muscle as it swirled and offered itself. Her arms provided leverage to move up and down over that face. “You should be against the law, you know that?” She whimpered.

That arrogant chuckle emitted from his throat, vibrating inside. The sounds were glorious as she rode him. Hesitancy faded. Curiosity emboldened her. She rocked her hips back and forth. His tongue flattened and he stilled, static, so she could lead and swipe her most sensitive spots over him. He snuck in a suck here and there at her clit when her arching became more pronounced.

“Oh, God. Dean.” Moans toppled one after the other as he clamped down on her ass and spread her cheeks open. His strength held her in place. He worked her over with every part of his face. His chin, his lips, his mouth, his nose, his tongue. A fleeting thought entered her mind that even his cheekbones and eyebrows had found a way to fuck her senseless.

Dean gasped for air under her. “Please, baby.” He moaned.

She froze, every inch of her ached, but she worried she was actually hurting him. “Can you not breathe?”

“No. No. I’m good. You’re so fucking good.” He praised her. “I just, wanna…” His fingers had continued to massage her ass. One digit slid closer to her back hole.

Julie gasped. Her body hopped in shock at the realization of what he was requesting.

“Only if you wanna see how it feels.” He kissed her folds. “Can just circle it. Or use my mouth.”

She sighed at his words. “Maybe just your finger. Outside.”

He moaned. “Thank you, sweetheart.” He feasted on her pussy once he’d been given permission.

Julie’s eyes bolted open wide at the new sensations. The pad of his finger circled her rim, testing her give and resistance. She couldn’t help but buckle under the pressure and pleasure he was providing her everywhere.

“Dean…” she groaned. “I’m gonna cum.”

He nodded, not stopping any of it, humming into her pussy.

“Yes, Dean. Oh, God.” She cried out, her body tensing with the impending orgasm. A wave of light and levity crashed into all her senses. His moans, his touch, they all felt far away for the briefest of seconds. Then, it all slammed her back. Cells, every one of them, super sensitive, on edge, as he continued to lick and tease her when she came down from the high.

“Fuck.” An obscene slurp followed his exclamation, still under her slackening body. “I gotta be inside you, baby. Can you handle that?”

She sighed. “Of course I can.”

He chuckled and eased out from under her like he’d been working on Baby’s undercarriage. His whole face glistened with her, tinted red with exertion. “That’s my girl.” He heaved and took in a deep breath.

She fell back on her ass, her whole body a quivering mass. He groaned and sat up, stripped off his flannel, then his t-shirt. Her fingers reached out to touch his skin. “But can you take the lead this time?”

He grinned. “Of course I can.” His head cocked to the side. “But, I don’t want to be any kind of gentle.”

Holy shit. He’s looking at me like I’m dinner. Even more than before we started this whole damn game. “Okay.”

“You sure?” He rose up and pulled her along. Her feet wobbled in the heels. “I mean, it could get a little rough.” His fingers sunk into the base of her scalp and her hair. He pulled her head back with a jolt, tipping her chin up. Her breath hiccupped. “Like that.” He sucked at her bottom lip. “You okay with that?”    

“Yes.” She was dazzled by the green and intensity of his eyes. She licked her lip and tasted herself. He was thick with the smell of the excitement and ecstasy he’d pulled out of her.

He turned and looked over his shoulder. He grabbed her by the waist and twirled her toward the desk. She clamped onto his forearms. The office chair rolled away, loud and careless, slamming into the closet door due to his forceful push. “Hope your shit’s insured.” He rotated her again in those massive arms, determined. His mouth latched onto her neck. His chest pressed into her back. She heard his belt unbuckling. The leather swished from the loops and thudded onto the rug. “Cause you’re getting good and fucked on this desk.” His voice thundered against her skin.

“Dean.” Her head fell back into the crook of his neck.

“Okay.” He sighed. His denim covered thigh wedged between her trembling ones and soaked pussy. He edged her to the corner of the desk where she’d normally sit. His hands shot out around her frame, grabbed at the computer monitor, and brought it back down to rest parallel to one of the walls. His hands returned to her thighs, raked up her skin and back. “Safety in the workplace, right?” The confinement of her bra released with the unclasping by his dexterous fingers. He slipped her out of the straps and cups, grasped her breasts. Fingers tugged at her nipples. Then he smashed her whole body back into him. His head bent to her ear, intoxicating with the sound of his voice and warmth from his mouth. “Let’s get to work. Bend over, sweetheart.”

“Jesus.”

He chuckled and used the firm grip on her breasts to bend her to his will. “Whatever feels better for you once I go to town, you do. Okay?”

She nodded and rested on her elbows, waiting. There was some shuffling again. His zipper. Out of the corner of her eye she noted he wasn’t even bothering to take his jeans completely off. The waistband of his denim and grey boxer briefs wrapped tight around his muscled thighs, spread wide.

“I already know how good and used up you're going to feel around my cock.” The tip brushed against her folds from behind. They moaned in unison. “And, still nice and wet for me.” A hand clamped onto one of her shoulders. She felt the pull back; groaned at the slide of him inside. He bottomed out. “Shit. This is gonna be hard and quick.” He inhaled and exhaled. “Sure you’re ready, baby?”

She knew what she was asking for when she gave him the flippant response. “Don’t I feel ready, hot stuff?”

His hands clamped onto her waist. “Alrighty, then.” A few “Ughs” and “Fucks” and “Shits” flew out of Dean’s mouth as he began to pound. He slid her back and forth over his cock, her ass smacking into his groin, balls rocking into her cheeks with his fast thrusts.

He used one hand to encourage her shoulders into the desk surface, her breasts flattening into the cool wood. She tilted her face and leaned her cheek on a hand for support, moaning at how the slight shift had arched her up into more pleasure. She was going to get a desk burn, if that was possible.

“Damn, Julie. You gotta wear these heels more often.” He grunted out the suggestion. “Gets you in just the right position.”

Everything on the desk was teetering and jostling with every one of his thrusts.

“So fucking lucky.” She caught the mumble fall out of his mouth. He swore again. “Aw, fuck. Yes. Close, baby.”

His admission made her pussy clench.

“Shit. Yeah.” She felt the tension in his body mount. He sped up into her. “Gotta, need to… feel so fucking good.” He pounded in all the way one more time and she felt him go rigid, his fingers sink into the flesh of her ass. Dean let out a soft gasp, connected into her like a jackhammer with one final thrust, and let go, spilling inside. He toppled over, sandwiching her between his body and the desk. His cheek rested on her back. Deep breaths matched hers. His heart beat pulsed against her skin. “Damn.” He finally spoke. A kiss planted along her spine. “Are you alright?”

She nodded into her hand. “So alright.” She smiled. “But, it’s official. I can no longer walk.”

He groaned and pulled out. “Shit. We made a mess of everything.” She could hear him slide his jeans back up.

Her body peeled off the desk surface, sticky with sweat. “Dean, I’m serious. I don’t think my legs work.” She giggled.

Without warning, his arms swooped her up and he carried her to the sofa. She wrapped her arms around his neck. He plopped onto a cushion and settled her on his lap, scooping every naked inch of her into his embrace. “Better?” His lips caressed her mouth.

Her forehead found his. “You make everything better.”

He pulled back. There was worry on his face. “I might not always be able to make everything better, Jules.”

How can he be so sure of himself one second and unwilling to take a compliment the next? “You’re right. Too much pressure.” She tried to ease the tension. “You make it better right now.”

That made him smile. His hand stroked her cheek. “You know, I’m going to have to go back to work. It’s not like I’m getting paid to be your sex slave.”

She frowned. “I feed you.”

He laughed. “I bought the pizza.”

She leaned on his shoulder. “I feed you most nights.”

“True.” He reclined back onto the sofa, taking her with him. “Will you be alright if I check in and see if I can grab a skip tomorrow? There was word of something in upstate PA. Might have me out of town for a day or two.”

“Honestly,” she giggled, “I could probably use the break.”

“Well, now, I’m just hurt.” He scoffed. “You could try and act a little upset.”

She snuggled. “Of course I’ll miss you.” She tapped his chest. “Don’t forget. Mom is having us over her house for lunch on Sunday. So, whatever you do, wrap it up before then.”

“See what I mean about how good you are at giving orders?” The sarcasm evident in his voice.

“Hm.” A forceful grab at his chin met his eyes to hers. “Kiss me.”

Dean grinned into the liplock. His words spilled into her mouth in between the tangle of their tongues. “Only a matter of time before I get on your nerves and you want nothing to do with me.”

“You get on my nerves now.” She smirked, tasting his salt and sweat and her sex again. “And, I still want everything to do with you. Glutton for punishment, I guess.”

“Guess we deserve each other, then.” He leaned back and ran a hand down her chest. “I’m hungry. Are you hungry?”

She nodded. “Starving.”

He hopped off the sofa and grabbed his flannel off the floor to toss it to her. “I’ll bring up the pizza box.”

She slipped into the warmth of his shirt, bringing her knees to her chest. “You’re bringing up that greasy thing?” Her eyes narrowed in half-jest.

Outstretched arms reminded her of the current condition of the room. “Might as well take advantage of the mess before we clean it up. Hey, I’m not taking it into the bedroom.” He put up a hand before she could protest again. “Remember, you don’t get to be all up in this for the next couple days.” He smirked and then did a flourish of his hand from head to toe.

She shook her head. “Hurry up before I change my mind.”

His bare chest flexed as he buttoned his jeans up. “So cute when you give orders.” He slapped the door sill and disappeared.

Julie situated her compacted frame in the corner of the sofa, buttoned up the oversized shirt. Her toes dug into the cushion. A pull of the shade cord gave her a view of the backyard. The sky was pink and darkening by the minute. How long have we been up here? So easy to lose track of everything else when I’m with him.

Her body was pulsing. Every part he’d touched, entered, hypersensitive. Thank God I’ve got my gyno visit tomorrow. She blushed at the thought of having to explain to her doctor that she and Dean had gotten a little carried away over the past week.

She had fallen into a rabbit hole of lust. How could I not? More worrisome? She was trusting him more and more. The safety with him was something she craved. What if I fuck it up? A pang in her gut. What if he fucks it up?

“Jules?” His voice drifted up the stairwell. “You win. I’ll bring up a few slices on a tray. Gonna heat ‘em up. Be up in ten. But, you’ve gotta clean up the office.”

She smiled and called back down. “Aren’t we bossy? Deal, Dean.”

Part 3

Series Page

[inikavulpixelreviews]

New Game Special: Let’s Talk About Pokemon - Sword and Shield

Just as a warning, this thinkpiece WILL contain minor to major spoilers of the newest games.

So. Sword and Shield, huh?

While the Pokemon reviews themselves might not be starting for a while just yet, I think these games and the little discourse that comes with them warrants a little “introductory” thinkpiece to drop my thoughts and hot takes out there. I've played all the way through Sword, beaten its postgame epilogue, and am currently working on a Living Galardex.

Honestly? As flawed as it is, this is the most fun I've had with Pokemon since Black and White. No way I would call it better than BW, or even my second-favorite game HGSS. But it was far more engaging than the Gen 6 games and its ideas felt like a far better way to “revitalize what is familiar” than Sun and Moon did. The Wild Area is a wonderful addition I want to see expanded on tremendously in future games. And I mean like. Almost every route should be a miniature Wild Area in and of itself.

So yeah, I've had a lot of fun with it. It's not entirely scratched the itch that I've been feeling about the Pokemon series taking a serious overhaul to its mechanics (more on that in a bit). And like I said, its flaws are very apparent. Graphically it's still not caught up to modern games, and it's still very much a Pokemon game anchored down by conventions that have been with the series since the very start. And online interactions leave a lot to be desired. The story is back to a much more simple structure, which is a shame since there's a handful of really good characters present between Bede, Hop, and even the game’s main villains that all had a lot of potential. I would love to see them in a story that was handled with the same finesse as Black and White.

But in the end? I did enjoy it quite a bit. A solid 7/10 from me. But with the little micro-review done and over with, we're gonna move onto the two bigger points I'd like to drop my thoughts on.

The Pokemon Themselves:

I mean, what else would it have been?

While Gen 8 is one I wouldn't say is in my top two favorites or anything, it's still very solid and has a lot of fun Pokemon within it. Without giving a ton away, and since I've posted this publicly already, here's a first brush tier list of what I think of em. Though Gigantamax form are missing obviously, and some Pokemon are just not here. For some reason, it's hard to find one of these tier lists with all the new Pokemon on it. Just know that Skwovet and Greedent are around C-range and Galarian Stunfisk, Darumaka, and Darmanitan would be in A.

These can change with time of course, there's quite a few Pokemon that my opinion has changed on once I've examined their design more closely. Yeah, leaning a lot more into the positive! I think Gen 7 edges out just BAAARELY ahead, but 3rd place behind the greatness of Gens 5 and 7 is not bad at all! All that really holds it back are some lackluster cover-legendaries and, tragically, the lack of any new Ultra Beasts.

Figuring out an order to cover these in is gonna be a thing. I'd rather cover new the lines in their entirety, but because some new Regional Variants evolve into entirely new Pokemon, it's puzzling to figure out where they aughta go! In the end, I might go in the order of covering Regionals with no relation to new Pokemon first, then Gigantamax forms, then go through the 810 to 890 in order, plus whatever Galarian forms are related to new Pokemon when they come around.

I’d still say reviews will likely not start until 2020. I’d obviously wanna wait until the official artwork of all the Pokemon in a decent resolution would be available, plus I’d like to put a bit of extra oomph into these reviews. I’ll save what exactly I mean by that for when I start the Gen 8 reviews proper.

But of course, Sword and Shield isn't all sunshine and rainbows. As I'm sure any Pokemon fan has heard, in the middle of this very year, Junichi Masuda himself came out on E3 with the very unfortunate announcement that Sword and Shield will be the first games in the series' long run to not feature every single Pokemon. And indeed, that this will very likely be the standard for all Pokemon games going forward, electing to chose different Pokemon that are best suited to the theme of the region, and all others will be completely incompatible. Fans didn't take this news lightly, to say the least.

And I've thought about it long and hard on my own time, occasionally listening to what others had to say about the matter. Which of course, brings me, the person who mind you hasn't bothered trading their team to the most recent games in a LONG time BUT also had their top favorite Pokemon of all time axed from the Galardex, to my own hot take, gulp:

How badly do we really need the National Dex?

Okay, before I get into it any further than that, I wanna preface this by saying if you're one of the people that are genuinely upset about the National Dex cut, I understand. If you don't think Sword and Shield are worth buying because of the National Dex cut, it's your money to do with what you please. If you think Pokemon from this point forward won't be worth playing anymore due to the possibility that it will never feature every single Pokemon ever again, I totally get it. I'd be a fool to deny that there's a lot to be upset with Gamefreak with at the moment. But I will rather boldly make the statement that, after all the consideration I've done over the last few months, the Nation Dex has been a long-running mistake that should've never happened and the very concept of having every single Pokemon in every single game should've died when Gen 2 ended.

While I have taken its presence much for granted over the years, since it had been such a matter-of-fact thing. Of course every Pokemon would be in every game, why wouldn't they be? Turns out, Gamefreak's insistence on making sure all Pokemon are present for every game could very well be a root for a good chunk of the series' problems, both in the long run and recent.

Implementing the entire Pokedex, for one, is a huge waste of resources and time. People have already proven that putting in the Pokemon themselves doesn't take too long; modders have already stuck their favorites not in SwSh into the games and they are more or less fully functioning (albeit with the need to program your own moves and stats onto them). But to take that as evidence that maintaining the Nat. Dex shouldn't be a problem would be fairly disingenuous. For every single Pokemon, form, ability, move, and whatnot that they add to the game adds to an ever-inflating problem in terms of Pokemon's scope. With how many combinations of Pokemon, moves, abilities, and held items there are, I can only imagine that making sure no catastrophic game-breaking bug is going to happen in-battle due to an extremely and stupidly specific interaction is a QA nightmare that eats up far more of the work force’s time and energy that could be better spent... literally anywhere else.

And all this for what? So that a small and ever-shrinking minority of the fanbase can fulfill the increasingly difficult if not outright impossible dream of catching them all. Especially given how many of said Pokemon are only obtainable during a limited time. Not to mention how you are required to own multiple games to catch them all at this point. And there's obviously FAR too many to reasonably pile into a single region. The other side of that particular coin is the opposite; the people that usually only bring over anywhere between 2-16 favorites. Even that, as much as it is understandable to be upset that Cacturne's biggest fan won't be able to have their favorite Pokemon in the newest game at all, is so much commitment to a relatively tiny part of the game.

...Which is a real shame, since the very existence of the Nat. Dex has only encouraged the deep rut of series stagnation the franchise has suffered. Most if not all other major RPG franchises have had the room to experiment and do major mechanical overhauls because they never have to worry about whether or not the most recent title is reliably compatible with previous entries in their respective series. Because Gamefreak has been so insistent that every Pokemon, move, ability, and item has to be present in all future games, it's lead to a bigger issue in ensuring that everything functions the same way it did in previous games (barring tiny changes made to numbers more than anything). Meaning even the most recent games in the series have been bound to game design decisions made in 1996 on the goddamn Gameboy. Because of Gamefreak adamantly making sure EVERYTHING can function in future games now and forever, the franchise has not been given the room it needs to properly evolve or have a major update to its battle mechanics. For every new major mechanic that's added to the game, they would have to go back and ensure that it works with EVERY Pokemon, their alternate forms, and whatever moves they all may learn. And all the other major mechanical features in the battles. Is it any wonder that it was only twice that an entirely new feature was added that drastically changed the way battles played out? Only twice! Once when Held Items were introduced in Gen 2 and again when Abilities were introduced in Gen 3. There's been other, comparatively tiny updates here and there (The physical/special split in Gen 4, The streamlining of the battle system and the Pokemon themselves finally being animated in Gen 5, etc.) Is it any wonder Mega Evolution only effected a select handful of Pokemon? Or that Z-moves were a feature that affected moves more than they did the Pokemon themselves?

If you chop down the number of Pokemon to say, 400 or so per game, it would be considerably more reasonable to experiment with each new title. It's disappointing that this couldn't be evident in SwSh itself (though I would attribute a lot of that game's problems to questionable mid-development decisions). I personally would just hope the backlash has them listening to the criticism but not take it so much to heart that they backpedal entirely. Otherwise we'll just wind up neck-deep in the first problem again. I really want them to commit to this because it feels like there's a golden opportunity to make a truly modernized Pokemon game.

(A bit of a side-note, but I’m also noticing that now that the Pokedex is down to a much more reasonable number, a lot of people, myself included, are actually attempting to complete Galar’s Pokedex.)

NOT TO MENTION that it'll free up opportunity to make more new Pokemon. A lot of the reason recent gens have slowed down in Pokemon numbers is simply because the the National Dex was getting too big. Now that there's no more National Dex, perhaps we can start having generations of 100+ Pokemon again? In fact, I think SwSh would've been all the better had they pulled another Gen 5 in conjunction with the natdex offing to say that Sword and Shield will ONLY have 200 or so ENTIRELY new Pokemon, and not a single returning one. Fans would've still gotten upset, but the prospect of a game with ONLY new ones in the form of a soft reboot would've gotten people excited to see a sizable generation again. It'd also have shown a bigger commitment to making up for the lack of a National Dex, even before large gameplay changes would be made. (Although again, who knows how plausible that would've been given the implications SwSh had a rocky development)

Could Gamefreak have handled this mess better? Absolutely. I love what y’all do but I’ll give brutal honesty when I feel it’s warranted; they have been ultra trash about communicating with the fans correctly. Between citing “to make high-quality animations” as a reason for the Dex cutting as if you wouldn’t have expected every single animation in the game to be under heavy scrutiny as soon as you said so. Plus rather tone-deaf responses to the backlash. Something that should’ve been communicated was a reaffirmation that this decision was made for the betterment of the series’ longevity, and that it’s a choice that would make the series better in the long run (Even then though, that sounds like admitting SwSh aren’t as good as they could’ve been. And I doubt PTC would ever let anyone at Gamefreak say anything like that.)

This next point is just a personal one more than anything, but it’s a lot better of a solution than the other thing I was fearful might happen at some point: a hard reboot on the National dex. As in, most if not ALL Pokemon get permanently booted from the series and they start over, only keeping a select few. At least with this, so long as they prioritize Pokemon that haven’t been featured in a regional dex in while, I’m all for it. Friggin CHARIZARD aside, the Galar Dex feels like it has a healthy balance of fan favorites and niche Pokemon as far as returning ones go, which is good.

And of course, the Nat Dex isn't the ONLY problems in the Pokemon franchise. For one thing, I'd love it if this annual release schedule just stopped right the hell now. It's hardly a secret that crunchtime because of Pokemon game development is a huge problem at Gamefreak, all because of decisions most likely made by Nintendo and The Pokemon Company, though I'm sure some blame can be shafted on GF upper management as well. It's literally as easy as making the supplemental media stop being so caught up in doing the exact same thing the main series is doing. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if the recent anime arc being “Globetrotting with Ash” is a move to distance the anime away from the games so the two don't have to be so coincided at all times. Like, Pokemon can literally do anything and make money off it. Why arbitrarily chain down the main series to a tight one-generation-every-3-years deadline.

Also Gamefreak REALLY needs to expand its workforce. There's evidently only 150 or so employees who natively work for Gamefreak, in which they have to rely on a lot of freelance work. Even so, that's a tiny work force to be working on a game that should be, by all accounts, treated with Triple-A game quality.

And again, let me just say that as much as I genuinely believe that the removal of the National Dex will be better for the series in the long term, nobody is wrong for being upset about it, and nobody is wrong for deciding they don't see the games as worth buying anymore. It's not your fault that Gamefreak made a promise to all of its players that they wouldn't be able to keep forever. And it’s certainly understandable to be upset given the very marketing has trained us to get very emotionally invested in these fictional animals. Like, as much as I saw this day coming, my first gut reaction upon hearing the news was genuine shock. And a slight tinge of disgust that Zorua, my top favorite of all time, could very well not be in the first home console main Pokemon games. At least until I realized “oh wait, I limit myself to only using new Pokemon anyway.”

And obviously this is by no means a guarantee that Gen 9's games will feature massively sweeping changes that fix all the shortcomings of the battle mechanics and will feature the vast Breath of the Wild-esque open world experience that fans have been clamoring for and 250 new Pokemon (plus 75 regional variants!). Gamefreak has been conservative enough about Pokemon to have landed themselves in this problem in the first place. Just forgive me if I hold onto even just a little bit of cautious optimism for the next games.

[love-takes-work]

Steven Universe Graphic Novel Camp Pining Play (2019) - Outline & Review

The fourth original graphic novel for Steven Universe, Camp Pining Play, is a new story for the Lapis and Peridot fans, presented as a theatre project but focusing on relationships and emotional resolution more than anything. It’s new content–unlike some of the trade paperbacks that collect previously released individual issues of the comics. It is written by Nicole Mannino, with illustrations by Lisa Sterle and a cover by Francesca Perrone.

This graphic novel involves Peridot and Lapis falling in love with a piece of Camp Pining Hearts fanfiction--which turns out to have been secretly written by Lars--and after they get permission and have auditions, they put on a play that becomes ever more loosely based on the original fan work. Everyone involved seems to have input that takes the story farther from its origins, but they're determined to still present its heart . . . which becomes difficult when Lapis is uncomfortable with a central facet in the finale--a pretend fusion--but doesn't feel empowered to speak up about it even though Peridot keeps checking in with her. It's actually pretty nuanced throughout despite also having a lot of pretty superficial gags, and every character works pretty well as themselves on more than one level despite this being written by people outside the show team. As usual with my reviews, I'll discuss the story and then present a list of notable items.

(I’ve got to cut for length, sorry. Please look at the amazing sample panels under the cut even if you don’t want to read all my rambles about it.) 

 [SU Book and Comic Reviews]

The story:

Peridot and Lapis are reading and enjoying Camp Pining Hearts fanfiction, relishing the author's faithfulness to the show while featuring their favorite non-canon ship (Percy x Pierre). Lapis indulges Peridot's desire to hear her "Percy voice," and they praise the fanfiction while kicking around ideas of how it could become more real--like maybe it could be made into a real episode or an animated adaptation. Soon, though, they decide a play would be a great idea, though they would have to find the author and get their permission.

Using her homemade app Find-A-Clod, Peridot discovers the identity of the fanfic author, and who should it be but good old Lars Barriga--the local "Donut Butler," as Peridot calls him. Predictably, Lars first denies his authorship, then requests secrecy while admitting it. Sadie, it turns out, also knew of his hobby, and she's edited his work tirelessly all along. Lars gives his permission for them to put on a play (as long as he gets to critique it from the shadows and not have his name attached in any way), but now they have another problem: How do you even put on a play?

Sadie jumps into the organizing chair, giving suggestions worthy of Peridot's title "Donut Master." She comes up with a series of steps, manages to get Mayor Dewey's permission, and receives a one-week planning timeframe. They jump into auditions next, and though everyone's enthusiastic, no one seems too fixated on what roles they want to play (besides Amethyst, who really wants to be a shell necklace used as a prop). Steven, as the most handsome human Peridot knows, gets propositioned to play Pierre, and Pearl becomes Paulette. Lapis is elected to play Percy even though she doesn't think she's actually as cool as the character is.

After the auditions, it's time for props. Lapis and Peridot make the actors create the props, though they soon find they need to give more direction or they'll get a bunch of junk they can't use. The sets and props become amalgams of what people can make and bring from home.

Finally, the rehearsals start. Everyone's struggling a little, from people who can't get their lines right to actors trying to destroy the props (well, Onion trying to destroy the props). But most of all, everyone seems to be awkwardly going through the motions, and Lars keeps shrieking "BOO!" because of how unlike his original story everything's going. Soon they come up with some ideas about making the presentation more their own so their characters won't be so awkward, and to help with the lack of chemistry between Percy (Lapis) and Pierre (Steven), Connie comes up with a unique idea. . . . 

She suggests Lapis and Steven should fuse!

Well, that's a controversial statement. Peridot's against it because she thinks their actions are enough to show their affection and they don't need fusion, and Garnet is opposed to fusion as a stage trick. But Connie isn't suggesting it willy-nilly; she thinks they'll need something big to really emphasize the characters' connection, and Amethyst thinks it'd make them seem "strong." But then everyone has ideas on how to change the story or characters, and the core creators of the production are split on how to feel about it.

The blessing is given to include more personal interpretation into the characters. Most importantly, though, Peridot decrees that the fusion at the end needs to be a fake fusion. Lapis isn't up for fusion, though she refuses to say so and ruin everyone else's time. Peridot believes this is a good compromise, but Lapis is still nervous. She keeps it to herself and the rehearsals continue.

The day before opening night, Peridot and Lapis have a heart-to-heart, because Peridot can tell Lapis is holding back a bit. She finds herself unwilling to be specific about her issue, while Peridot goes on a bit about how fun it's been to find a good balance between following rules and enjoying some flexibility. Lapis claims she's just a little shy, and pretends she is okay with the fake fusion scene. She clearly feels like she doesn't have any business objecting since it's not real, and Peridot simply takes her word for it. They distract themselves by fooling around doing voices of the characters.

Opening Night arrives and the audience is full of Beach City residents as well as some visitors. Peridot makes a speech backstage thanking everyone for helping (even the people who don't want to be acknowledged, like Lars), and she emphasizes that she appreciates Lapis's partnership. It's a very sweet moment.

But as soon as everyone scurries off to their places, Lapis gets nervous. The beginning scenes go on as planned, but then Lapis stalls with her entrance because she's freezing. She can't think about anything except how she'll have to fake a fusion. Sadie, as a background tree, gives Lapis a pep talk, and then Onion shoves her onstage and she tries her best. 

There are a few minor mishaps, but everyone mostly relaxes and carries out their roles. But then the climax occurs--Lapis's character Percy saves Steven's character Pierre from a dangerous lake after he's jumped in there to get Percy's special lost necklace. This is where they're supposed to have a moment and fake-fuse, but Lapis can't go through with even pretending. She lets loose what she's been feeling while on stage, forgetting about the play.

Peridot acknowledges that she knew about Lapis's discomfort with fusion, and she blames herself for approving the scene. But Lapis doesn't want Peridot to blame herself. She told Peridot that she was okay with it because she WANTED to be. It still didn't make her okay with it, though. And now she feels that she ruined the play through the very act of trying so hard not to ruin it for everyone else. But Peridot and Steven help Lapis understand that her feelings aren't irrational even though the fusion was "fake." Peridot only wants her to do it if she wants to do it.

With that, Peridot and Lapis embrace on the stage and exchange kind words, and then a smoke effect surrounds them. Some of the other actors get Steven, Peridot, and Lapis off the stage quickly and a pyramid of other actors assembles. Mr. Smiley and Greg begin playing a "Pierre and Percy Fusion" song, and the audience watches it blankly with little understanding, but Lars is emotional and clapping.

Finally the audience applauds, Lapis takes her bows, and everyone is grateful for the lessons learned and the wonderful experience. The End.

Notable:

1. The only Camp Pining Hearts characters whose faces have been shown on the TV show are Percy and Paulette. Pierre is mentioned frequently--since Peridot ships him with Percy--but we never see what he looks like. So it's pretty cool that the artists chose not to take artistic license with his appearance and drew depictions of him in shadow.

2. Peridot's analysis of why some fanfiction is better than other fanfiction--notably, that they fulfill the desires of the readers to see ships completed while still feeling like an episode of the show--was pretty spot on!

3. The fanfiction author--Lars--uses the handle xx54d4nd10ne1yxx. Even if it's private, I'm surprised Lars would use something that translates to "sad and lonely."

4. This graphic novel probably spends the most time outside Steven's perspective that I've ever seen; Steven is only marginally in the story, and we're used to seeing things from his perspective. This is quite a departure.

5. Peridot's app, "Find-A-Clod," was so unexpectedly funny to me that I almost choked on my sandwich.

6. As Dewey is still Mayor, Lars is not pink, and Sadie is still working at the Big Donut, we can assume this takes place before the episode "The Good Lars." That feels a little weird now, considering this book is fourth in the series of graphic novels and the one that came before it (The Ultimate Dough-Down) used Sadie's departure and Lars's space adventure as a plot point.

7. Lapis's negativity manifests in this comic as insecurity and frequent naysaying/pessimism. I thought it was really well done because it wasn't obnoxiously presented--as in, it felt genuine and appropriate for someone with her past and personality, not tacked on as her defining personality trait. You could really see her trying to have fun and not be the group's spoilsport, and you could tell she really felt those things.

8. Sadie says she's happy as a background character and that's kind of meta.

9. The shipping is strong in this thing. Peridot encouraging Lapis, the two of them solidifying their relationship, and the adorable compliments are so much fun. The Lapidot shippers have received their piece of heaven.

10. I couldn't get enough of Sadie obliquely insulting Lars when he acted like it was obvious he would take the "handsome guy" role if he didn't want to stay in the shadows. Sadie's like, "Oh, I vote for Steven."

11. Mr. Smiley and Greg are musicians for the play. I think that's cute, because we've seen Mr. Smiley as an out-of-work actor/R&B singer in the show. (And obviously Greg's an old rock star.)

12. New characters for Camp Pining Hearts have been invented: namely, Penelope and Parker, played by Connie and Onion, respectively.

13. Peridot is weirdly mean and disrespectful to Amethyst in this story? It seems to really come from nowhere. First she reluctantly lets Amethyst audition and grants her that she guesses she does have some talent after all, and then later when Amethyst comes in to impersonate a prop and "save the day," Peridot first voices her suspicion that Amethyst will not actually make anything better. It's weird; if you didn't watch the show, you'd think they had an ongoing rivalry or hated each other (or at least that Peridot disliked Amethyst). Hmm. 

14. The central conflict of the book's story is impossible to understand or interpret without a very good understanding of the show. The book does not explain what fusion is at all (though obviously in a stage play as a symbol for a fraught scene for an actor, it represents having to kiss on stage). It also gives absolutely no mention of why Lapis has trauma surrounding fusion. If someone were trying to read this without the show's context, they might think there was some kind of awkward past or bad feeling between Lapis and Steven, since she's acting reluctant to pretend to carry out a gesture of affection with him. And even though Lapis's past with Jasper is mentioned--by name!--on the back cover, Jasper is literally not mentioned in the book anywhere. As a fan I had no trouble understanding the source of her angst, but because of this pretty important detail, the book can't be enjoyed on its own without seeing several specific episodes of the show.

15. There are some fun Easter Eggs in the crowd scenes. Play attendees include Mr. Frowney, Mr. and Mrs. Barriga, Dr. and Mr. Maheswaran, Mayor Dewey, Yellowtail and Vidalia, Nanefua and Kofi and Kiki Pizza, Barb, Mr. Fryman, and what look look some extras. All the known characters are family or the actors . . . except Mr. Frowney. Does that imply what I think it does about Mr. Frowney and Mr. Smiley? Hey, maybe they’re married now. :) 

16. Lapis's speech where she emphasizes that she consented to the scene was powerful. She WANTED to be okay with pretending to fuse, but in the end, she wasn't. There are so many real-life scenarios that parallel this--when someone tries to downplay their own feelings because they feel like they're the odd person out and they will wreck others' good time if they express how they feel. But, as said in the comic, nobody there wants you to do that, and you not enjoying yourself makes it a worse time for everyone else too. Your real friends won't make you pretend.

17. You probably never thought you’d see Garnet in a squirrel costume. You thought wrong.

18. These two are too precious for words when they hug at the end of the play.

[SU Book and Comic Reviews]

[thebeautybunny]

5 Life-Changing Habits to Bring into 2020

5, 4, 3, 2, 1… Happy New Year! I'm sure most of you reading this right now have your own goals, resolutions, and ambitions you would like to accomplish this year. After all, it's 2020!! It's a new decade, a fresh start, and I want ALL of us to grow and shoot towards our highest potentials within these next ten years. Thus, I have put together a list of a few beneficial habits that you can bring into the new year that will help you with your growth and journey to success! These five habits are habits that I have implemented into my own life in 2019, and I can say that they've really made a difference in my work ethic and overall achievements. I would like to share them with you in hopes that you will try at least one or two of them out, and that they will make a positive impact on your life as well. Starting with the easiest one:

1. Make Your Bed as Soon as You Wake Up

Don't underestimate how doing something so simple can really affect your morning! Making your bed as soon as you wake up not only makes your bedroom look so much more put together but it subconsciously sets the tone for the rest of the day. Think about it: It is the first "task" that you complete in your day, which then starts your day off with a sense of accomplishment. And if you can't AT LEAST make your bed first thing in the morning, then how are you possibly going to go about the rest of your day?? If you tend to just roll out of bed and go after you wake up, try it. Try it every day for a week and then report back to me how you feel at the end of the week. And besides, who doesn't enjoy sliding into a neat bed at the end of the day? Your future self will thank you.

2. Read For at Least 15-30 Minutes a Day

This habit has changed up my morning routine so much! I used to wake up in the morning, immediately reach for my phone, and scroll through Twitter and Instagram. Now, I've replaced that habit with reading a book for about 15 minutes every morning. I was inspired to do this after visiting my city's library to study for an exam I had coming up and being surrounded by so many books that I could read for free! 

This is a good habit to implement into your life because reading a book- especially one that feeds your self-improvement- becomes a part of the thoughts that you generate daily. If you're reading a book thats purpose is to help you out at some aspect in your life everyday, you will soon see it manifest itself into your life, because it becomes a part of your thoughts and your perspective. You begin to see the advice from the book play out in your life, and it's very rewarding! Compare this to scrolling through Instagram or Facebook (which I am guilty of too, don't get me wrong 😅) and consuming hundreds upon thousands of different opinions, negative news, and empty information that adds no value to your life the same way that reading a book does. Just think of it this way: whatever you read becomes the little background voice in your head. It can either be something beneficial to you and your growth, or something that adds absolutely no depth to your life. Look, I get it…cat videos and World War III memes are great! But so are books on how to start living your dream life! Which one is going to be more beneficial to you in the long run? And if you don't enjoy reading, please stop lying to yourself!! You just read 3 paragraphs of this blog post. If you found the time to read this post, you can find the time to read for 15 minutes. Find books that speak to you that don't feel like a drag when you read them. No one is asking you to read Webster's Dictionary or a biography on Prince Henry the Third. If I can do it, you can do it too. I believe in you!

3. Create a Vision Board

I created a vision board at the beginning of 2019 with my monthly calendar sitting right in the middle of it. Around my calendar, I printed out pictures of a few different things that I wanted to accomplish that year- a stack of books to represent reading, the number "$2,000" to represent saving up money, a foreign country to represent my desire to travel, a platter of fruit to represent eating better, and a camera & laptop to represent creating more content! I can proudly say that I have accomplished all of these goals. (although my diet COULD be better, LOL.)  I really did underestimate the power of having a vision board and how seeing your goals in front of you every single day brings you closer to hitting each one! Especially with me being such a visual person, having a vision board really inspired me and allowed me to fulfill all the achievements that I put onto it in 2019. You just want to make sure that you put it somewhere where you are forced to see it every single day, which for me was around my calendar. You want to dream big, but you also want to put goals on it that will be attainable and achievable within the next year. 

4. Exercise

Okay, I know this one probably sounds super cliché, but lemme tell ya: increasing my exercise practice last year has helped improve not only my physical health but my mental health as well! I started off the year by going to cycling classes twice a week with my best friend, which helped kick my cardio stamina into high gear. From that, I made it a habit to go to the gym at least 3-4 times a week. I find the gym to be a great place for me to relieve stress after a long day of work. The boost of endorphins it gives makes me feel so much better afterwards and feels like a reboot to my brain. And, of course, it's nice to see my booty get bigger from doing squats 😉. It also allows for a deeper, more restorative night’s sleep. Aaaaand you don't necessarily need a gym membership to workout! Don't let that be an excuse, darling. You can always workout at home or go for a run in your neighborhood. It's a great habit to build and stick to overall. 

5. Plan Out Your Week

I don't know about you, but I feel like I have more control over my life when I write down the things I need to do and the upcoming meetings and events I have down somewhere where I can frequently see it. I really don't know I how I could function without my daily planner. I think I'd be running around like a chicken with its head cut off without it. For me, I have three different calendars: the one hanging on my bedroom wall, the one in my phone, and the cute pink spiral book planner that I take with me everywhere. My planner allows me to write down the things I need to do, due dates, and meeting/ event times into it and I can see my week at a glance. I think it's extremely important to keep some kind of planner on you, especially if you have multiple jobs and/or you are a student. It's important to know when projects and assignments are due, what time your next work meeting is, and when you're meeting with your girlfriends for brunch. It's incredibly helpful to have it all in one place, and you'd be surprised how much less stressed you'd be if you immediately put down important dates into your phone calendar! I like to plan out my week at the beginning of it, on Sundays. For my wall calendar, I start marking down important dates (like pay day, my ortho appointments, birthdays, and concerts) as soon as the month begins, on the 1st. And for my phone calendar, I just import dates as soon as I know it- or else I'll forget and just freak out on whether my next dentist appointment was on the 6th or the 16th. (Yes, this has happened to me before…. NOT a fun feeling.)

These five habits are all habits that I have done in 2019 and, although they MIGHT seem small and insignificant, they have actually made such a positive impact on my life in the past year. I hope by trying out even just one or two of these habits and implementing them into your life will cause a ripple effect of other beneficial habits to manifest in your life in 2020. I want nothing but good vibes for everyone this year! Here is to living up to our full potentials in this new decade. Cheers!

~ Xoxo Chiyo 💋