#there is no dearth of good shit to read in this fandom

[vamptastic]

danganronpa is whispering its siren song to me but alas nobody shares my big brain million iq opinions (drv3 hater) (korekiyo defender) (ishimaru understander) (celeste and hifumi apologist) (kaito hater) (protagonist love triangle poly advocate) (post sdr2 anime enjoyer) (fucking hates the writing bar the first half of sdr1 and ending of sdr2) (never even finished v3 because it was so dogshit terrible and also i genuinely can barely get through the minigames) (problematic psychological horror fan)

[phoenixwrites]

Hi there! Just dropping by your asks to say that I’ve followed you for years (2012 OUAT era, I think?) and I’m so in love with the Hellcheer content I keep seeing from your blog. I marathoned Stranger Things recently and it just seems like the best ship to look at canon and go “…so? They’re amazing and will now have rich and full lives together, thank you very much.”

You’re inspiring me to mosey over to the archive to read some fic. You may have already answered questions like this already, but is there one you’ve written that you’re particularly proud of where I could start? Or one that you think is a good intro to Hellcheer? (Just diving in would work too, I’m guessing.)

That’s all I got. Mostly this is just a yay and a thanks for being awesome :)

God did this ask MAKE MY DAY considering the dearth of nonsense I’ve dealt with on Tumblr dot com this week. I can’t believe you’ve been here that long! That is so wildly flattering, I am tickled PINK that I got you into Hellcheer. Every time I hear that from someone, it makes me go squishy inside.

First off, I should warn you that most of my fics will be smutty. I’ll include a T-rated one for flavor, but I come to this fandom purely for SMUT.

Well, of MY fic, my first Hellcheer fic was “But then you kissed me and suddenly I don’t care anymore…” which I think is a decent fic to start out with.

My most popular Hellcheer fic is “Keep Sweet, Pray, and Obey” which is an incisive look at Evangelical purity culture.

Since you just binged Stranger Things, might I recommend my season 4 redo “Prodigal Girl”, where Kali returns to Hawkins to kick everyone’s ass? (And falls for Steve along the way?)

My Five Drunks and a Cheerleader series is absurdly fluffy. There is literally no conflict in this one, it’s just pure sugary goodness for Eddie and Chrissy.

I’m deeply proud of “You Make Me the Best Kind of Nervous…pretty sure you do that shit on purpose”, which I think is my closest canon characterization of Eddie.

I hope this helps! And if you would like some recs of fics that are not mine, please let me know!

[terriyakiblack]

I’ve been going through the backlog of (recent) footage I have, which means I occasionally find myself writing when we’re between rounds of whatever we’re playing or I’m not doing SoT, or maybe I am and I’m just waiting for someone to do something on an island or whatever. Point being, I’ve looked and I haven’t written as much as I have this year as I did last.

That’s fine, I suppose. I wrote a lot last year. Getting on meds did incredible things for my productivity in that regard. Earlier this year we tried some more, with mixed results. This is going… less well. Hopefully I can figure something out with that.

And what with moving later this year… hm.

I’m mostly happy with what I’ve done, though. Very early on, I struggled to write, not because of a lack of inspiration or anything, just because that’s how I was – everything was a struggle and I hadn’t even realised it. Now, when I sit down and start writing and actually writing, it’s much easier. I’ve also gone from writing some more character-driven and slice of life sort of stuff to some more plotty stuff. That’s been interesting to note and funnily enough, this change basically happened as I started posting DYTSHF publicly, which I still think is funny as I never thought I would do that. I don’t know that I’ve stated it outside of the group anywhere, but this was supposed to be a quick little thing of maybe five chapters, and it very quickly spiralled out of control into the behemoth of just a first part that it is.

I am, however, quite happy with this. I’ve never undertaken such an epic project and my interest in it has only grown. Its influence on me and the guys is impressive, too. We talked about tattoos today for a few minutes with a random crew and I still can’t believe he’s got those things permanently etched into his skin – that’s so insanely awesome to me. – To mention but one thing it’s influenced.

OC broke 300 views with its last update while also hitting the first-year-anniversary and that’s pretty neat. I see that number go up here and there and on update day and the weekend following, it has its predictable little spike; that tells me I’m doing something right. The occasional kudos or bookmark or what-have-you does, too. It’s a feeling I can’t quite put my finger on but I’m doing something right and that feels good, if vaguely so.

Another one of them was right: there is a painful dearth of SoT (fanfic) literature. I made it a point a long while back to read every piece of SoT fanfiction I could find. The way it is with the rich world and lore, the way it oftentimes revolves around the player characters, there’s so much crazy potential for storytelling with it and it just boggles my mind that there isn’t more out there. The game practically begs you to retell the stories that you and your crew go through, and there’s canon crossovers to pave the way for outlandish fanfic crossovers!

In fact, SoT fandom in general seems a little lacking even when just considering the sheer reach of the game. I dunno.

Just some more random shit I think about, I guess.

[scottspack]

SO YOU JUST FINISHED THE UNTAMED AND YOU WANT TO READ SOME FIC

Congratulations Jen @jlf23tumble on finishing The Untamed (tomorrow)! Now that you’re done with the show (tomorrow), you can finally dive into the wide and wonderful world of untamed fic!!! I’m ecstatic to be personally curating your reading experience! LET’S BEGIN!

I’ve started off with a list of 5 fics I think you should read in this specific order to 1. get some resolution from the end of the show and 2. get you acclimated to untamed fics! Then, I’ve listed a bunch of fics in different categories for your perusal to read at your leisure! This is an unbelievably long post holy shit brace yourself.

I’m like fairly certain that all of these follow the tv show canon BUT also its very typical for authors to combine many aspects of all of the different forms of canons to their liking. Therefore, I feel like I need to give a quick explanation of a couple things from the novel that show up frequently in fics that idk if you know already or not:

In the book, when Wei Wuxian is resurrected, he is brought back in Mo Xuanyu’s actual body and has his face and everything. Mo Xuanyu was pretty young when he died, I wanna say maybe 17 or 18??? and he was also short and pretty and flamboyantly gay. This is where the references to their crazy height difference come from, but again, I think I tried to include mostly fics that skew more heavily to the tv version where WWX keeps his same body and he and LWJ are more evenly matched physically.

Its novel canon that LWJ smells like sandalwood incense and has golden colored eyes. This is mentioned in like almost every single wangxian fic ive ever read, even if the author said they were strictly adhering to show canon lol

At the end of the novel wangxian run away together and elope! Obviously in the show that’s not how it goes down, but I think a couple of the fics I’ve recced might mention it in passing. (Oh also when they elope they make a pact to fuck “everyday,” a concept that might be mentioned as well.

Obviously, we have to kick it off with some fics that both reunite wangxian and give more resolution to the actual show. If you’re like me, it both took you a while to get all the way through the show AND took 100% of your brain power to remember all of the characters and plot lines. If that’s that case: these fics should be helpful in serving as a kind of emotional refresher for the show to wrap up some loose ends and to dive deeper into some of the things the show glosses over for one reason or another!

1. A Lot of Edges Called Perhaps by hansbekhart (Wangxian, E, 21k) 

The funny part is - and it is a little funny, even if Wei Wuxian has no one left to share the joke with - they never have. Not anything. He has never kissed any part of Lan Zhan besides his slim hands; never been even partially undressed with him anywhere besides a miserable, xuanwu-infested cave. It’s always been like this between them, this simmering need, this desperate understanding: a knowledge so deep that it lives somewhere in his bones, that if he wanted to have Lan Zhan he could have him, and if Lan Zhan wanted Wei Wuxian he could have that too. But they never have.

I found this fic on someone’s blog when they said that it was the definitive fic to read directly after finishing the series so i saved it, read it directly after finishing the series, and felt COMPLETE. Beautifully written, seamlessly fits with canon, and has a super fulfilling resolution. The perfect way to kick off reading untamed fic!

2. One Rogue Spark In My Direction by hansbekhart (Lan Wangji/Xiao Xingchen/Song Lan, E, 5k)

He’d thought, in Yueyang, that they’d seen something in each other, something familiar. That maybe they’d recognized something in him. But it’s been many years, and many things have happened since, and he’s guessed wrongly at other people’s hearts before. Lan Wangji looks back down at the table, at his steaming, bitter tea. He’ll beg if he has to.

In “A Lot Of Edges Called Perhaps” Wangji mentions that he has had sex before and this is the in-universe story of that time and WHEW BABY!!!! AHHHHHH!!! While this fic is like, almost pure smut, I think there is a ton of value to it in terms of emotional perspective on how fucked up LWJ was after WWX’s death. Also, it’s very hot.

3. Gathered Herbs & Sweet Grasses by hansbekhart (Laz Sizhui & Lan Wangji, G, 19k)

Later, when he’s older, it’s this that A-Yuan will remember most: the stretch of silence, the two of them both dirty and shaking with fever, as he looked at Brother Rich, and Brother Rich looked back at him.

This is a fic about Lan Wangji raising Sizhui from when he rescues Sizhui from the Burial Mounds until they bring WWX back to the Cloud Recesses after he’s resurrected. It made me cry about 18 times and I consider it fully canon in relation to the show. I think this gives a lot of emotional depth to the Wangji/Sizhui family relationship that is very important in most fics, so this acts as a good base since the show doesn’t really talk about it too much.

4. Your Name, Safe In Their Mouth by astrolesbian (Lan Sizhui & Wei Wuxian, G, 10k)

“You’ve got a fever,” Wei Wuxian says soothingly. “You just keep still as well as you can. We’ll have you fixed up soon.”

Lan Sizhui recognizes his tone—this is the voice that Wei Wuxian uses on hurt people and young children, a very calm and no-nonsense voice that has none of the mischief and cheer of the way he sounds the rest of the time. Lan Sizhui looks up and meets his eyes, and they are dark, stormy gray, muddled and concerned.

“I’m all right,” he croaks.

“Hush,” Wei Wuxian says, in a low croon, like someone quieting a baby. Then he blinks, and looks away, awkward. “I mean—you shouldn’t speak. You’re tired. Rest if you need to.”

or: lan sizhui gets sick on a night hunt. wei wuxian comforts him. they both have a lot of feelings about it.

The Wei Wuxian and Sizhui bonding fic that I so desperately desperately needed to read. Since we got the emotional depth to Wangji/Sizhui in the last fic, here’s some emotional resolution for Sizhui and his other dad!!!!!!!!!! Scratched the very particular itch of “but have they REALLY talked about what it means that they’re reunited after 16 years???”

5. climbing up that coastal shelf by Sour_Idealist (Jin Ling, Jiang Cheng, & Wei Wuxian, T, 15k)

Jin Ling had begun to suspect years ago that there were parts of his family history that had been crossed out; long streaks of black where Wei Wuxian had been. The truth is more like whole books being brought up from their hiding places again.

Or: Jin Ling tries to figure out what family means, now.

OKAY!!!! Last emotional resolution before I send you on your way to explore! This is the emotional resolution for the other half of WWX’s family. Featuring just a FUCK TON of family feels and a lot of TALKING that this fucked up family needs so damn bad. *chefs kiss* muy delicioso! ALSO i think this is a good introduction to a lot of the naming conventions that are used frequently in untamed fic that took me a while to pick up on!

WHEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now that you’ve gotten some post-show catharsis in the form of a few extremely well-written fics, it’s time for a full rec! I’ve divided it up into seven categories: long fics, smutty one-shots, 3zun (lan xichen/nie mingjue/meng yao) fics, fics about the juniors, family fun fics, some miscellaneous fics, and then some yizhan RPF! I wouldn’t have put any of these fics on here if I didn’t think they were worth reading, BUT! I did mark my particular favorites with asterisks to demark the crème de la crème of the bunch. SO! LET’S DIVE IN!

EPIC TALES (LONG AND/OR IMMERSIVE)

My Age Has Never Made Me Wise by idrilka (Wangxian, E, 63k) ***

“We hear that His Excellency might be married by summer’s end,” the merchant’s wife says and Wei Wuxian freezes, his heart in his throat. “The Gusu Lan sect has been buying enough red silk and brocade that the merchants in Caiyi can’t satisfy the demand.”

He feels himself grow brittle inside, like a flick of a finger to his temple might make him shatter. His ears are ringing.

“Who’s the lucky bride?” he asks despite himself. His tongue sticks to the roof of his mouth.

Or: The story of a marriage.

I LOVE THIS FIC. YOU MUST PROMISE ME YOU’LL READ THIS FIC. The absolute best kind of slow burn and I think such an extremely accurate representation of the canon material. I’m always surprised by the authors in this fandom’s ability to write shit that is so concretely grounded in the universe. This could and should be a real companion novel. Amazing. I love it. (Also I know you said you’re not into fics that are long just to be long and I think this fic is the exact opposite of that, it’s long but for good reason and has such an insanely satisfying payoff that it’s completely worth dedicating a few hours to!)

The Year of Drought by idrilka (Wangxian, E, 24k)

Wei Ying could not be contained by the walls of the Cloud Recesses, alive again and overflowing with it, bursting like a dam in spring with the force of two lives unspent. And so he had to go. Lan Wangji understands that—he understood it when Wei Ying told him of his plans, looking at Lan Wangji above the rim of his cup with an apologetic smile, like craving freedom was something to apologize for.

Wei Ying would go, and Lan Wangji would see him off; this has always been the only way it could be.

Or: In the absence of Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji waits.

The previous fic but from Wangji’s perspective. Absolutely required reading if you read the other one. Wangji baby.......i love you.....

further than the grave by idrilka (Wangxian, E, 32k)

There is something about grief that turns Lan Wangji numb. He cannot be certain if it is not some kind of defect inside him that makes him so. But just as he grieved his mother’s passing with dry eyes and a stone in his chest, so he grieves Wei Ying: quietly, frozen inside, without tears. Beyond the Jingshi window it might be spring, but Lan Wangji’s body and mind are still held within the winter’s grasp.

As the anniversary of his leaving seclusion approaches, Lan Wangji ponders the nature of grief and healing.

One last fic from the same verse as the previous two, this talks about Wangji post-WWX’s death and then them dealing with the past post-marriage. Its just as good and immersive and amazing as the previous two parts, but this is the only untamed fic that actually made me gasp out loud and if you read this and can guess what it was we will be best friends forever. (There are two other fics in this verse that are also good but these three in particular are god-tier in my eyes.)

Vagabond by xantissa (Wangxian, E, 66k)

Wei Wuxian comes back to Cloud Recesses after a year of wandering the world, hoping to start a relationship with Lan Zhan. He doesn’t expect to come into the middle of a case of sleeping sickness mysteriously killing people, nor does he expect what follows, putting everything he holds dear on the line once again.

OOOWEE CASE FIC! CASE FIC! This is truly the twisty turny intense and INTERESTING type of fic from this fandom that blows my mind. This could fully be a stand alone novel its that good and there’s that much to it. Another one that isn’t long just to be long, it has so much PLOT!!!!! REAL GOOD SHIT!

Seldom All They Seem by Fahye (Wangxian, E, 25k)

or, one hundred and thirty-three principles of the Gusu Lan, pertaining to the state of marriage

***

He bows to Wei Wuxian, sword in hand, sleeves falling properly. Wei Wuxian bows in return, and the sect leaders begin the opening courtesies, and for all of ten minutes Lan Wangji is under the impression that he is betrothed to a boy who is perfectly normal and acceptable apart from an unfortunate tendency to fidget with his clothes.

That impression does not last.

A canon-divergent fic exploring “what if Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian were betrothed from when they were young like Yanli and Jin Zixuan?” It’s extremely good and very compelling and also made me cry multiple times. (The confrontation in the rain doesn’t get any easier even if they’re betrothed!)

Half Cloak & Half Dagger by Fahye (Lan Xichen/Meng Yao, E, 13k)

Jin Guangyao lifts his head and smiles. "I'm considering a problem."

"Can I be of any assistance with it?"

He drops a kiss on Lan Xichen's chest. With the nail of one finger he lightly traces the characters for irony on Lan Xichen's side. "Not this one, er-ge."

A follow-up fic set in the “Seldom All They Seem” universe but focused on xiyao. Has hands down the best written characterization of meng yao in any fic ive read so far. I continuously come back to this fic just to read the absolutely genius way this author writes the Head Bitch In Control of the cultivation world.

The Absolutely True Story of the Yiling Patriarch: A Manifesto in Many Parts by aubreyli (Wangxian, T, 20k)

Wei Wuxian’s hand jolts, spilling a drop of wine onto the tabletop. “Love?” he croaks, then clears his throat and tries again. “Lan Zh— uh, Hanguang-jun, in love?”

“Have you not heard the story?” the other young woman asks, looking pitying. “You must, it is a truly heartrending tale of star-crossed romance and mutual pining — go to any storyhouse in town, everyone has been requesting a reading of this book.”

“There’s a book?” Wei Wuxian says blankly.

In which the junior disciples (namely, Lan Jingyi, Ouyang Zizhen, and a reluctant Lan Sizhui) turn to RPF in an attempt to rehabilitate Wei Wuxian's reputation so that he and Hanguang-jun can get together and get married and live happily ever after. It's... surprisingly effective.

I kept avoiding this fic, even though it was really high up on the list of most popular fics in the fandom, bc the premise sounded pretty goofy BUT I finally bit the bullet one day and AHHHHHHHH!!!!! Very very very cute and fun, made me smile like an idiot throughout the entire thing. Heartwarming and very well written!!!

never let me go by yiqie (Wangxian, E, 69k)

Wei Wuxian has certainly hoped so ardently in his two lifetimes, for so many different things, in so many different ways, that he could have summoned the demon to his front door with his bare hands. His eyes wander to Lan Zhan, settle on the back of his head, the blue-black curtain of his hair. Oh, how he has hoped.

Another extremely good and super immersive case fic. If you ever just want to sink really deep into an untamed fic, this is a great one for it.

hunters seeking solid ground by Attila (Wangxian, E, 24k)

“Hanguang-jun,” Wei Wuxian repeats. His heart clenches. He wants—but he’d really meant to have this nightmare stuff down before they met again, so he wouldn’t find himself relying on Lan Wangji’s nearness. He’s not supposed to go back yet. But he’s so tired, and his will crumbles. “Yeah,” he says. “All right. Take me back to Gusu with you.”

You want hurt/comfort? I gotcha hurt/comfort RIGHT HERE!

shadows in the sun rise by Yuu_chi (Wangxian, E, 25k) ***

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji says, voice slow and a pitch too quiet. A second later Wei Wuxian understands why. “I cannot hear.”

Or; Lan Wangji is cursed into internal isolation. Their ability to understand one another remains as unwavering as ever.

OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD. I have been thinking about this fic nonstop since I read it. It is…..fucking incredible. One of the best qualities of wangxian is that they’re so in tune with each other and able to work so cohesively with little communication and this fic is like “what if we take that and DIAL IT UP TO ELEVEN” and i was like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

I hope that you will come and meet me by feyburner (Wangxian, M, 28k) ***

The second time Lan Zhan said Wei Ying, come back, Wei Wuxian did.

okay so this is literally getting added to the fic rec one day before i send it to you because i just finished it and WHEW BABY!!!!! YES it is just another wangxian post-canon reunion get-together fic, BUT 1. i cant get enough of that specific brand of fic and 2. ITS SO GOOD. ITS. SO. GOOD. achingly tender and incredibly soft but also funny and sweet and very in-character! i love it!

THE BONE ZONE (WANGXIAN SMUT)

Sweet Night by corteae (Wangxian, E, 10k)

It was like coming back to life again, like being restitched into existence, cell by cell, nerve by nerve. From the surface of his skin to the marrow of his bones, everything new and purposeful. Like being pulled back from oblivion into an embrace of pure light. A feeling of absolute asylum.

That’s what it felt like, to realize Lan Wangji was in love with him.

An in-show au of “what if they just admitted they’re in love and fucked during episode 43?” Soft and romantic and hot!

the crucial point by dissembler (Wangxian, E, 7k) ***

Months after parting on the mountain, Lan Wangji makes up his mind, plots his course on a map, and has faith.

I LOVE THIS FIC! Very realistic and sweet wangxian reunion fic from wangji’s perspective. Has so many good little details and is very true to their characters. Good shit. Great.

Stainless by Fahye (Wangxian, E, 6k)

"I'm starting to feel," says Lan Xichen, "that this was a counterproductive suggestion."

Wei Wuxian looks down onto the pristine, tranquil cold springs of the Cloud Recesses. Sitting in the water, their bare shoulders rising like dumplings carefully spaced in a steaming-basket, are a large number of Lan disciples.

"They seem to be doing better," he says, encouragingly. "If they--oh, no, I see what you mean."

At the near bank, someone has pressed someone else against the rocks and is kissing them frantically.

What is getting into a new pairing if not an excuse to read sex pollen in new and exciting ways!

To Recklessly Confess by la_dissonance (Wangxian, E, 8k)

Lan Wangji has a fantasy. Wei Wuxian gets several clues.

The “what if they just fucked in episode 43” au but from a different angle.

all the depths of me, real by northofallmusic (Wangxian, E, 15k)

Wei Wuxian is dealing with a curse a little worse than he'd like to let on, and Lan Zhan is a little less than willing to let it slide.

Another “what if they just fucked in the show” fic, this time set when WWX has the curse on his leg and Wangji has to carry him back to the inn. 

Every Day, Learning More by phnelt (Wangxian, E, 6k)

The pink was high on Wei Wuxian’s cheeks. “I mean I haven’t been able to… that I can’t. Not without you.”

Lan Wangji stared. “In this body, the whole time you’ve had it -- you’ve never…”

Wei Wuxian kicked his heels into Lan Wangji’s back. “I just said that!”

I knew at least one of these was more book verse than show! WWX hasn’t been able to jerk off in his new body, LWJ helps him out :-)

the meaning of the ritual by newamsterdam (Wangxian, E, 8k)

“Lan Zhan… wants to bed me?”

The hand on his chest is shaking, slightly. “Mn.”

“Oh,” Wei Wuxian breaths out.

There’s something— something powerful, about that. Lan Wangji wants to bed him. Lan Wangji wants to sleep with him. Lan Wangji wants to touch him, and kiss him. The immovable, implacable Second Master of Lan, with a face and principles both carved from jade, wants him.

“Is this a fantasy of yours?” Wei Wuxian asks. “Forcing all the demonic energy out of me with your—”

Lan Wangji claps a hand over his mouth. “Silence, now.”

When the entire cultivation world turns against the Yiling Patriarch, Wei Wuxian makes a risky gamble— he'll agree to participate in an ancient ritual for cleansing the spirit, so that his character can no longer be called into question. The catch? He has no idea who his partner for the ritual will be.

This is also book-verse! As the tag says “Let Lan Wangji Fuck the Yiling Patriarch”!!!!!!!!!!!

Hurricane by gdgdbaby (Wangxian, E, 6k) ***

"Haven't you heard?" Nie Huaisang replied, clicking his tongue, though he was clearly pleased that he could be the one to break the news. He leaned in to announce with a dramatic flourish: "Lan Wangji just took emergency family leave this past weekend."

WANGXIAN AS SPIRK STAR TREK PON FAR AU!!!!!!!!!!!!! WEEWOO WEEWOO WEEWOO!!!!!!!! This was actually recced to ME by CHI and I have not stopped thinking about this fic for a full month. It’s like author gdgdbaby sat down one day and was like “Tumblr user Liv Scottspack deserves everything she wants in this life.” and then wrote this fic. Thank you author gdgdbaby, I love you.

WORLD’S WORST THROUPLE (3ZUN)

The body is a blade by rheawrites (3zun, E, 2k) ***

In which Lan Xichen is taken by surprise, Nie Mingjue takes what he can get, and Meng Yao gets what he wants.

This was the first 3zun fic I ever read and whew baby, got it in one! It’s actually a slight AU but it gets their characterization so right and is a very fun read. One of those fics I go back to frequently because it does so much with so few words.

shang tiantang by fuckwarlock (3zun, E, 4k)

They wanted so much, and with the way A-Yao gasps at the saber-calloused hand unfastening his belts, he does, too. The night air twirls with the scents of osmanthus and cinnamon and melon. Lan Xichen smiles, leans in, and ghosts his lips over the crook of A-Yao’s neck. What kind of brother would he be if he didn’t give A-Yao what he wanted? “I think it’s your turn to ascend, A-Yao.”

The Venerated Triad celebrates the Mid-Autumn Festival the best way they know how.

Truly the only way the venerated triad works is if meng yao gets Destroyed :-)

Favour and Fate by soulgusttheguardian (3zun, E, 8k)

There have been times in Meng Yao’s life when he couldn’t help but wonder how he came to be in his current situation. Found himself reflecting on the choices leading up to whatever misfortune had befallen him that day, and pondering why fate hated him so.

Granted, there had also been times when he couldn't help but wonder just what he had done to earn the favour necessary to be rewarded with certain things...

The current situation he found himself to be in, however, was definitely the latter.

More of the same! Truly I personally can never get enough of the 3zun dynamic in smut fics its just too goddamn motherfucking GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

the stars do not take sides by everyearning (3zun, E, 4k)

Mingjue isn’t sure he’s ever seen Xichen do anything other than treat the boy like a porcelain doll and it’s laughable to him, to think of Meng Yao as something breakable, instead of the sharp, deadly object he is.

Okay one last “Destroy Meng Yao” 3zun fic! Enjoy!

never as alive as we are right now by ThirtySixSaveFiles (3zun, E, 12k)

Three perspectives on three sworn brothers, at three different times in their relationship.

(Or, three times 3zun got it on and some of the feelings they had along the way.)

Wait actually I want to end the 3zun fics on this one because it has true Emotional Resolution at the end and I think they deserve a little healing.

BABY BOYS. BABIES. (THE JUNIORS)

A Civil Combpaign by Ariaste (Jin Ling/Lan Sizhui, T, 20k) ***

“And,” said one of the pompous ministers, “there’s the matter of a marriage to consider as well!”

Jin Ling, who at the beginning of that sentence had expected to slam into the very last wall of his patience and lose his temper entirely, paused. “A what?”

Thing was… it wasn’t such a bad idea.

A MUST-FUCKING-READ!!! Jin Ling gets it in his head that as sect leader he should get married and sets his sights on Lan Sizhui. I cannot stress enough how FUCKING CUTE this fic is!!! Sizhui being the best boy! Jin Ling having more uncles than he knows what to do with! Jiang Cheng being the worst at relationship advice! It’s so fucking good it love it so much.

Anyway, Here’s Wuji by kakikaeru (Lan Jingyi/Lan Sizhui, T, 18k)

The melody gets a little clearer when he breaks out of the trees, and Jingyi changes course with certainty, barreling down the back hill and through the Cloud Recesses, dodging scandalized disciples left and right. He throws open the doors to the Receiving Hall without announcement and bows nearly double, eyes on the floor instead of on the shocked faces of the Mei delegation and the impenetrable gaze of the Chief Cultivator.

"Forgive this disciple," Jingyi shouts, because he's going to get punished for rule breaking regardless. "From the back hill, Hanguang-jun, there is a song in the wind!"

Lan Jingyi comes of age.

A Jingyi-central fic about Jingyi growing up and falling in love and being a hero and being the second best boy of my heart right after Sizhui. Not only is this fic sweet and romantic but it’s another one that explores a lot of interesting things within canon and all of the supporting characters are written very well and are just as interesting as second best boy Jingyi.

Ok, JiuJiu by kakikaeru (Jin Ling/Ouyang Zizhen, T, 16k)

Uncle's jaw works in the way that suggests he's about to say something irredeemable. Jin Ling, in a move of diplomacy he hopes the Chief Cultivator appreciates, distracts him with spicy food and his favourite subject: the incompetence of his own officials.

"I hear the lakes in the south east are having drainage problems?" he asks nonchalantly, sticking three big slices of braised pork belly into his Uncle's bowl.

Jin Ling just wants to get through the Discussion Conference with his Sect, his dignity, and his heart intact.

A follow up fic to “Anyways, Here’s Wuji.” I LOVE the Jin Ling/Ouyang Zizhen dynamic of Jin Ling having been raised by Jiang “I keep all my emotions right here and then one day I’ll die” Cheng AND being hopelessly charmed and smitten with Ouyang “President of the I Love Love Romance Novel Book Club” Zizhen! I LOVE IT! EXTREMELY CUTE!

Lan Sizhui's Guide to Courtship by Kimblydot (Lan Sizhui/Lan Jingyi, T, 23k)

In which Jingyi is a little oblivious, Sizhui is patient (and should have said something in the beginning), and everyone else is resigned to watching them dance around each other for far longer than necessary.

(Or: five things Sizhui tries to do in his courtship, and the one time Jingyi realizes there was one happening in the first place.)

I’ll stop describing fics about the juniors as being “cute” when they stop being SO FUCKING CUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

His Merit All My Fear by violettressed (Lan Sizhui/Lan Jingyi, G, 16k)

It’s too late for any of Hanguang-Jun’s rabbits to be awake -- one of the sundown chores for young disciples is to herd them back into their hutch -- but the rabbit field is as good a spot as any for quality sulking, so Lan Jingyi makes his way there.

Someone has beat him to it.

Lan Jingyi stares at Hanguang-Jun. Hanguang-Jun stares passively back.

When Lan Sizhui is swept away with the Ghost General, off on a new adventure, Lan Jingyi is the one who returns to Cloud Recesses alone.

Not only another extremely cute Sizhui/Jingyi fic BUT one that includes a Wangji/Jingyi friendship??? Incroyable! *chefs kiss*

spirit running wild by idrilka (Lan Sizhui/Lan Jingyi, E, 17k)

He doesn’t know, exactly, when the friendship he shared with Sizhui over the years has changed into something that’s made Jingyi finally understand why Hanguang-Jun always wears that expression whenever he looks at Senior Wei. There hasn’t been one single moment that he can point to and say, yes, this is where it started, because the thing about falling in love with your best friend is that it happens gradually, until it’s impossible to tell which step has been the deciding one.

Jingyi goes to Baling with a crush.

Written by the same genius that wrote the first three fics I made you read so you know it’s good. Its truly the childhood best friends to lovers of it all! Sizhui is adorable and Jingyi is a mess! *muah!*

FAMILY FUN TIME (NO ROMANCE, JUST FEELS)

Grow by cafecliche (Lan Sizhui & Wei Wuxian, T, 14k)

“Okay,” Jingyi says, as Sizhui puzzles this out aloud. “Okay! So the demon has been turning its victims into children.”

“I think so,” Sizhui says.

“To make them easier prey,” Jingyi says.

“Yes,” Sizhui says.

“So—” Jingyi’s voice cracks here, “this kid is Senior Wei.”

Wei Wuxian, still tangled in his own massive robes, blinks politely at them.

(Or: Wei Wuxian is cursed on a night-hunt, and the junior quartet rapidly finds themselves in over their heads.)

What I expected to be a goofy, silly fic turned out to be extremely emotional and made me FULLY CRY! It’s a very moving fic about Sizhui coming to understand himself and Wei Wuxian a lot better AND features all of the juniors arguing over who’s turn it is to hold 6 year old Wei Wuxian. A true win/win of a fic.

To The Act of Making Noise by words-writ-in-starlight (Lan Sizhui & Lan Wangji, G, 19k)

His father in white plays the song late into the night, and when A-Yuan wakes up confused and afraid, the guqin lulls him back to sleep.

Lan Sizhui hears his father play the same song every night for his whole life, and never, ever get an answer.

Another very moving and heartwarming fic about Lan Wangji raising Sizhui and Sizhui figuring out Wangji’s past and then eventually reconnecting with Wei Wuxian. It’s cute and soft and Sizhui is my best boy!

History (Proud To Call Your Own) by words-writ-in-starlight (Wen Ning, G, 5k)

“A-Yuan? Um—Lan-gongzi,” Wen Ning corrects, trying to set a good example. The children are young, seven and eight, exactly a dozen of them lined up in two crisp lines of tiny blue and white robes. Wen Ning can feel them staring at him, even though most of them have already mastered that Lan trick of neutrality. The smallest, a little girl with liquid dark eyes, is clinging to her nearest shijie’s sleeve and half-hiding. “Can I—what can I do for you?”

Wen Ning gets himself recruited for services, while he and Sizhui are visiting Cloud Recesses. Wei Wuxian gets a fan club.

Set in the same universe as “To The Act of Making Noise,” a very cute fic about Wen Ning finding his place in the post-canon world and being proud of Sizhui and being the world’s best substitute teacher. As the official Wen Ning Fan Club President, I had to include this.

the stone-filled sea by yukla (Lan Sizhui & Wei Wuxian, T, 9k) ***

He forgets how quickly Wei-qianbei changes faces, sometimes. Like pulling a theater mask over a bruise—color over color, a diversion with the swipe of his hand.

Lan Sizhui navigates a world that hates his father, one endless wave at a time.

Oh man oh man. I will never get enough of the fics where Sizhui (and the rest of the juniors) get ANGRY on Wei Wuxian’s behalf!! That’s their dad and their teacher and their friend and they will DEFEND HIM!!! YEAH BAYBEEEEEEEEEE!!!

PICK & MIX (MISCELLANEOUS)

This Side of Paradise by greenfionn (Wei Wuxian/Wen Qing, E, 3k)

Wei Wuxian does some very quick math in his head that goes something like this: He is pretty sure he’s in love with Lan Zhan - Lan Zhan is not here and likely never will be here - Wen Qing is here, not to mention very hot and let us not forget, actually interested in sex with him - there’s a solid chance he goes genuinely crazy or dies, or both, in the next few months and really, who wants to die a virgin?

Listen.......the fic premise is “Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing, noted bisexuals, figure life sucks enough at the Burial Mounds, they might as well have any fun they can before they die” and........I Am Looking Directly At It. It features Wen Qing bossing Wei Wuxian around and Wei Wuxian’s canon he-wants-to-be-pregnant kink. It’s........I liked it.

palm to palm is holy palmers’ kiss by iodhadh (Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen, M, 15k) ***

The realization strikes Song Lan like a bolt of lightning: Xiao Xingchen laughs, and he wants with a sudden, stunning desperation to kiss the mirth from his beautiful mouth. How, precisely, he is meant to manage that—that, he has no idea at all.

Or: introspective meditations on touch, trust, and the problem of desire.

I Am Baby and for some reason cannot handle how sad the entire Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen storyline ended up so I rarely read songchen fics, and when I do they’re always soft pre-canon fics like this one. Luckily there are some very beautiful and moving pre-canon songchen fics!!! I love you fandom!!

purpose and ritual by iodhadh (Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen, E, 8k)

Song Zichen has beautiful hands. He's a powerful swordsman, strong and skilled, unfairly impressive and unreasonably handsome. He is devoted and self-disciplined and he takes direction like a dream. And he doesn't touch people—no one at all, if he can help it, except for Xiao Xingchen.

The poets might call him a saint, but Xiao Xingchen is so very, very human.

More of the same :-)

born to sweet delight by la_dissonance (Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen, E, 10k)

Xiao Xingchen lightly jumps into the center of the pool, the water a shock that cools his sticky, heated skin, and does nothing for the heat building inside him. When he surfaces, pushing the hair out of his face, he finds Song Lan's gaze and meets it. Between them, everything goes both ways. What Song Lan will offer, Xiao Xingchen will freely give too.

Or, Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan meet, pledge their lives to each other, and then fall in love.

This is about the angstiest I will go for songchen and its still absolutely Baby Soft lmfao!!!!!!

Pin it down by rheawrites (Jiang Yanli/Jin Zixuan, Jin Zixuan/Nie Mingjue, E, 2k)

“Yanli, I did not lie on our wedding night. You are the only woman I have gone to bed with. But… there was a man.”

“Oh?” Yanli blinks up at him. She does not appear horrified, or betrayed, which is surely a good sign.

Jin Zixuan swallows. “It was Sect Leader Nie,” he says quickly, as though that will make it easier.

“…Oh,” says Yanli, and her eyes are dark.

-

Jin Zixuan tells his wife a war story. Or, two thousand words of Jin Zixuan getting railed.

Have you ever looked at Jin Zixuan and been like “I bet that mf likes getting PEGGED!!!!!!!!” Well here’s the fic for you. 

*YIBO VOICE* DIDI LOVES YOU! (YIZHAN RPF)

never really over by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 10k)

The thing is: it would be good to see Xiao Zhan again — if Yibo could just trust himself to be normal.

Author gdgdbaby is the yizhan master, so here are five of my personal favorites of their fics, starting with this post-filming reunion fic that was the first yizhan fic I ever read and HIT real good after having just finished the show myself.

pedagogy by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 17k) ***

Yibo opens his mouth and says, "I want to learn," barreling past the rapid rise of Xiao Zhan's eyebrows. "To last longer. Will you teach me?"

Quick-fire Yibo comes too easily and Xiao Zhan helps train him to last longer :-)

you’re the reason that i just can’t concentrate by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 10k)

Xiao Zhan hears about it from Yu Bin, which probably should've been the first warning sign.

Yibo was only 20 when they filmed the untamed, which lends itself perfectly to fics like this.

a truth so loud you can’t ignore by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 5k)

It's their last day of filming in Hengdian when the secret comes out.

If yibo has to be a fictional virgin than SO DOES XIAO ZHAN!

if you would only let you by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 32k) ***

"Well?" Yibo demands. Past the severe frown tugging at the corners of his mouth, a flicker of the old him slips through, the persistent boy who shoved his way into Xiao Zhan's space without a second thought and made a home for himself there. "Are you coming or not?"

Xiao Zhan's heart twists. He forcibly settles it back in his chest. He's only told Yibo no once in his entire life, and it was already the hardest thing he's ever had to do. "Okay," Xiao Zhan murmurs, quiet but decisive, and thumbs his phone off. "Let's go."

Like I said, all gdgdbaby fics are incredibly good, super well written, and very hot, but this one does stand out from the bunch for being a Full Epic Romance! This is one of Chi’s favorite fics so that should speak to it’s quality!

baby, who’s counting by nobirdstofly (Yizhan, E, 12k)

Xiao Zhan gasps, trying to rein in another peal of giggles. “What do I owe you anyway?”

Yibo shrugs one shoulder, and his smirk deepens. “Haven’t decided.”

Xiao Zhan’s still staring at him, laughter gone in his dry throat, when he hears someone yell for a reset. Yibo’s eyes are so, so dark, and he hasn’t stopped watching Xiao Zhan this whole time. Xiao Zhan swallows, nods, and pushes every dirty thought out of his head.

(Or: Yibo bets Xiao Zhan he'll break first during a take, Xiao Zhan loses, and it's all downhill from there.)

Ah sex bets, who doesn’t love sex bets!

Mystery Dance by mrsronweasley (Yizhan, E, 16k)

"That? That's your confession?" Yibo's toppled onto Xiao Zhan's side and is clutching his shoulder, trying not to fall over. "That's pathetic!"

"Oh, what, you can do better?" Zhuocheng is pretty flushed and there's a challenge in his voice that Yibo just can't walk away from.

"Hell yeah, I can. Hit me, Yu Bin." Yu Bin cheers and refills Yibo's shot glass. "All right!" Yibo downs the shot, gags only slightly, and says, "Everyone! I'm a fucking virgin!"

WHAT’S better than a Yibo virgin fic? A SECOND YIBO VIRGIN FIC!

This author also writes extremely good yizhan threesomes so here’s three of them!

Some Nights by mrsronweasley (Yizhan/Xuan Lu (Jiang Yanli), E, 2k)

Xuan Lu opened her legs to him and Xiao Zhan wasted no time diving in. He pressed his mouth against her pussy, licking her out steadily as her thighs trembled around him. She was nestled between Yibo's legs and if Xiao Zhan looked up, not only could he see the planes of her body, her small breasts going up and down with her breathing, ribs expanding, her tipped back head and open mouth, but Yibo, gaze boring into Xiao Zhan's as he ate Xuan Lu out.

The entire cast is hot and there is no reason they shouldn’t ALL fuck! Not one reason!!!!!!

gege loves you by mrsronweasley (Yizhan/Wang Zhuocheng (Jiang Cheng)), E, 7k)

"We are very sorry," Xiao Zhan murmured as he unbuttoned Zhuocheng's jeans while Yibo kissed his ear, "for how we've been acting."

"Is this how you apologize to everyone," Zhuocheng panted, hands already going for his zipper to help Xiao Zhan along, "or am I special?"

WHEW LORD!!!!!!!!! WHEW!!!!!!!

Talking in the Dark by mrsronweasley (Yizhan (Side Xiao Zhan/M/F), E, 14k)

Xiao Zhan has a light-hearted romp of a threeway with some friends, then makes the mistake of telling Yibo. It goes down.

A non-yizhan threesome BUT features jealous!yibo which is a ton of fun.

Finally, a couple AUs!

With Joy and Purpose by feenwitch (Yizhan, E, 30k) ***

Yibo has been alone for approximately five Earth years when Xiao Zhan crash lands on his planet.

YIZHAN ANDROID AU!!!!!!!! This is a very star trek-esque universe which is fun, but the fic itself is also CRAZY interesting and moving and beautiful!!!!!!!!! It’s A LOT! This was a rec from Nina, so thank you Nina!

Bound With a Same-Heart Knot by mrsronweasley (Yizhan, E, 59k)

London, 1892. Xiao Zhan, a promising young attache at the Chinese embassy is tasked with showing the new ambassador's son Wang Yibo around London. The inevitable happens.

Victorian AU! I actually think you already read this, but included for posterity.

AND SCENE! This is the result of two months of daily fic reading, having 50 tabs of fic open at any given time, reading truly anything and everything, and Loving The Untamed. I’m SO EXCITED you’re diving into fic for this show and I can’t wait to talk to you about all of them and to have someone to scream with! WOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

[loquaciousquark]

hi!! I was wandering if you have any thanzag fic to recommend? I'm new to the fandom and I would love to read some good works 🥰 thank you!

Boy do I!!

I am also baby to the Hades fandom (I'm running on--oh, maybe a month now), so this isn't as exhaustive as my previous Dragon Age rec lists. It's also worth noting that Hades is a much, much smaller fandom than Bioware's games, so the pool to pull from is smaller as well. Still, there are some beautiful gems in here, and hopefully you enjoy some of these as much as I have!

A couple notes: these are all ThanZag unless noted otherwise, and almost all of them are complete. I've marked any WIPs, works featuring ThanMegZag, and works which contain smut.

1. Orange Lilies | achillean | 17000 words | contains smut | Complete "Zagreus wondered how long the wedding would be, what sort of woman he would marry. Beautiful, no doubt. The Gods had said it was a pity that Hades was to choose his bride." An alternate universe where Zagreus is a classical Greek hero and his divine spouse ends up Thanatos in an arranged marriage situation.

Y'all, this is probably my favorite fic in the Hades fandom so far. The plot is just what you'd expect from the summary and so much more; the relationship is developed so well in so few words, and the characterization is impeccable. More than that, the prose is unspeakably beautiful. This is one of those writing styles that I spend half my reading time trying to deconstruct so I can steal from it later and the other half just luxuriating in its artistry. It's lyrical, poetic, vivid, and shockingly funny. More than that, there's a spectacular shipside battle in chapter two that made me giddy with jealousy. The ending is incredibly satisfying and very realistic for the two of them in this iteration. Love it.

2. match//cut | sighdotjpeg | 16,500 words | contains smut | Complete “Hey,” he says, wiping a crimson smear on his bottom lip away with his thumb.

Red blood. Redblood.

“Hey,” Thanatos says, and tears his gaze away from that crimson mouth before he can start thinking about what it tastes like.

I included this one for the worldbuilding. The relationship moves as fast as the neon in this cyberpunk AU, and Thanatos features as an android assassin accidentally falling in love with his target. I really, really love this author's transposition of Greek myth to the cyberpunk aesthetic, and the villain's takedown is great.

More under the cut!

3. in the half light | harukatenoh | 14,000 words | Complete You don't die over and over again without internalizing some shit, even if you are a god.

This author's Zagreus voice is amazing. I haven't attempted it yet because I'm a coward and it's such a specific good-natured cheer, but this is a beautiful example of it done perfectly. Zagreus struggles with nightmares, and both Meg & Than get a chance to help him out of it again. I really like the author's choice to give the entire second chapter to the Meg conversation, because she's shortchanged a lot in the Hades fandom and she deserves better. Thanatos is also described as a god of brattiness in this fic, which is funny every time I read it.

4. found a way to rise | renquise | 2909 words | Complete The river is high again. It laps up against the greaves of the statues in this chamber this time, the long grasses submerged and waving gently in the hazy waters. Last it took this chamber, it only rose to the top of the pedestals.

He's learned to see the signs of when the river is about to rush out of its banks to take the chambers: the river grows wilder and the ground becomes soft and damp, water rising up between his toes and hissing into steam where it meets his feet. He’ll be glad when the water recedes again.

As the author notes, this is the one with Lethe-induced amnesia. There's a tragic dearth of plotty hurt/comfort in this fandom, but this is one of the best of them. It's so, so tricky to write from the amnesiac's perspective without getting too precious with it, but this is written perfectly. I could read another ten thousand words of this without getting tired; still, it wraps up exactly as it should, and I've gone back to this one several times for the satisfaction.

5. Smooth Waters | mombasas | 1100 words | Complete It’s not Zag's fault that the temple’s in an extreme state of disrepair, or that its worshipers have such good aim. Unfortunately, high on satyr venom and half-buried in a pile of rubble is not the least dignified Than’s ever seen him.

“I bet Meg does this stuff recreationally,” he tells Than, squinting up at him.

A short, complete oneshot with another spectacular Zagreus voice. I laughed so many times reading this, and the perspective he takes on Thanatos is both hilarious and warmly bittersweet. Really nice character work on Thanatos and his place in the world/underworld as well.

6. Mark of Life | MeZaKi93 | 16,500 words | Complete Apollo decides to pay a visit to the God of Blood and Life to ask for a favor. To seek out someone he had loved and lost to the sudden clutches of Death.

As Zagreus strives to complete his newest task of reuniting people, he also learns some important things along the way that prompts him to re-define what his role really is in his newfound godhood.

I think classics Apollo is kind of a dick, but I really like this take on him. Again, there just aren't a ton of plot-heavy fics in this fandom (that I've yet found), and this really scratched the itch of one more story à la Achilles & Patroclus that could easily be contained within the game itself. There are some great explorations of the gods' relationships with mortals (especially Apollo & Achilles) and some reasonable and really interesting exapansions of Zagreus's powers as a god.

7. Scythe to the Harvest | JuniperCypress | 5700 words | Complete For a Prince of the Underworld, death is never a danger. Life is.

Zagreus doesn't come home.

So I gotta preface this one with a disclaimer. After my first warm-up entry to the Hades fandom, I started a plottier h/c fic along my regular lines, and about halfway through writing it I started wondering if anyone else had written anything like it in the fandom. Turns out lots of people! With various flavors of the hurt, of course, but this is one of my favorites of the genre. It's Thanatos POV and the villain's actions are both perfectly understandable and perfectly horrific. The hurt is delicious, and the resolution is vividly described and really well characterized. I personally would have loved to sit in the comfort just a touch more (because I have a very specific weakness for it), but one of Zagreus's lines at the very end makes me cackle every time.

8. the longing needs the leaving | waveridden | 4700 words | Complete An Inception AU, a portrait of Zagreus on the run, and five times he almost gets caught.

I LOVE this worldbuilding. I think the author is primarily an Inception writer, but it's translated beautifully to Hades and even I, who have seen Inception all of twice, had zero trouble following along. Zagreus's characterization is fabulous and the Thanatos relationship develops in perfect fits and starts just like it does in the game. The ending is very satisfying, and if the author ever comes back to close some of the loose ends, I'll be there in a heartbeat.

9. strange and beautiful (i'll put a spell on you) | 17000 words | Complete “Thanatos?” Zagreus’ brow furrows in confusion, and the worry on his face makes the butterflies in Thanatos’ stomach launch a violently militarised assault on his insides. Thanatos suddenly finds himself feeling quite strongly, and entirely against his will, that nothing should ever be permitted to make Zagreus unhappy; he wants to reach out and smooth the lines marring the otherwise flawless expanse of his forehead, wants to lay a soft kiss on the delicate curve of his perfect brow ridge, wants to cradle him gently in loving arms until his expression reverts to its contentedly gormless default.

“I wish I was mortal so that I could kill myself,” Thanatos says, fervently and with great feeling.

Thanatos is in love with Zagreus and is super mad about it. I really like this Thanatos voice--I think (at least, in my early perusing) there's a bit of a tendency to make him too suave and smoldering, especially for someone who trips over his own words like three consecutive times in his canon arc, and I think this piece nails a perfect balance. I also like some of the headcanons the author has come up with regarding Persephone's relationship with her son and how Thanatos fits with them both. I really enjoyed the prose of this piece as well.

10. Heart, in Twain | elemmacil | 25000 words | Complete Thanatos' heart lies outside his body.

Just a really beautiful, lyrical piece about what gods do with their hearts. It ought to be read as much to just bask in the prose as for the story; it's lush and firm, and the characterization through Thanatos's eyes is excellent. Meg also gets some nice moments of focus. The last line made me literally clutch my chest the first time I read it.

11. icarus, point to the sun | cassafrans | 11000 words | ThanZag with background MegZag | Complete In which Zagreus repeatedly fights his way into the underworld in search of his kidnapped mother, and Thanatos is sent to stop him.

WE GO BACKWARDS. Zagreus fights into the Underworld instead of out, and Thanatos is one of the regular bosses sent to stop him. I love this concept and this execution is so much fun. There's so many thoughtful little details about how this would actually affect in-game mechanics, and the ending is a delicious sweet treat guaranteed to make you grin. Thanatos's perspective is perfect for this conceit, and his developing thought process is delightful. I've gone back and reread this one several times, and I pick up new super-smart touches every time.

12. A Young God's Heartbeat | Luddleston | 25,600 words | Complete Zagreus' life in the most boring Midwestern town imaginable is decidedly ordinary. It becomes less so when he learns that nineteen years ago, his mother, who happens to be a goddess, escaped the Underword and moved so far away from home that none of his relatives there or on Olympus would ever find them.

And he's a god. Apparently.

Ridiculous and perfect. I don't want to spoil it, but every transition of the original to the USA's breadbasket makes me laugh. (Dionysus shows up on a throne made out of boxes of beer. I'm spoiling that one. It's amazing.) This author has also been prolific in the Hades fandom & has something like 45 fics to read if you enjoy this! I've really liked everything I've read, even if it's been spotty with my random clicking.

13. keepsakes hold power | dustandstatic | 15000 words | contains smut | Complete To the naked eye they look no different from ordinary trinkets, lucky charms perhaps, simple objects the dead often keep on them in the grave.

Maybe they are. Maybe it’s Zagreus that makes them hold power.

Each keepsake has a serious effect on Zagreus in his escape attempts, and Thanatos is left to worry about the changes he's going through. I really like this exploration of what it means to have the attention of the Olympians, and the way it concludes is immensely satisfying. Thanatos's POV is very strong, and I always love a Zagreus that's allowed to be competent in more than just battle.

14. weightless, breathless, restitute | theroyalsavage | 10000 words | Complete When Thanatos falls in love with the kingdom's trouble-making crown prince, he is not expecting it will amount to anything more than a passing infatuation. He is also not expecting to be made the prince's bodyguard, and he is certainly not expecting the prince will ever love him back.

Thanatos, it transpires, is wrong about many things.

Bodyguard AU! :D Y'all know how this one goes. It hits every note it needs to and a few more just for the flourish, and I love Zagreus in this piece. I love the details kept in the transposition of worlds, and the kingdom is fleshed out really well into a living place Zagreus can inhabit. Thanatos's POV is great, and I love the realism (such as it is) of the developing relationship.

I think that's plenty long; again, I hope you find something to enjoy here! I'll continue to save pieces I've liked, and if anyone has any interest, I'd be happy to do another post later down the road.

[slow-motion-picture]

001

hi. long time no see.

when i started my first tumblr account, the world was a different place. the sherlock fandom was still going strong, arabelle sicardi was the unofficial queen regent of beautyblr. sjw was a legitimate insult. color-coded graphics explained the many valences of gender and sexuality. 

when it came to theory, tumblr was my playground. it was also a lifeline to a world that was bigger than my deeply introverted suburban existence. i found people who obsessed over fanfiction, reblogged the same arctic monkeys songs i loved. i discovered barf troop, lorde, and the power of a good gifset. of course, there were moments of ugliness. fandoms at war. hateful messages. the usual suspects. but more importantly, on tumblr, i saw vulnerability, i saw people unafraid to like the weird shit they liked. tumblr was a place where no one apologized for being. 

all good things must come to an end, however. as it turned out, i couldn’t stay hidden in my room forever. the real world beckoned. i abandoned my account in favor of real life human connection. i pursued all the things you’re supposed to pursue in your early 20s: gainful employment and other people. unfortunately, in doing so, i lost a vital part of myself. by the time i entered grad school at 24, deeply anxious and traumatized from decades of people pleasing, i was completely alienated from my own taste--and sense of identity. a professor asked my class to make a list of our favorite foods and favorite places. not only was i unsure of my answers, i found myself with a startling dearth of memories in general. 

looking back, i can see the pattern. so unused to having a life full of other people (shout out to the lonely black gworls in the back !!!), and subsequently, other people’s energy, i simply took on the interests of the people i was around. 

now if this shapeshifting was obvious, like idk, me suddenly getting in WELDING or smthing, i would have noticed earlier. but it was sneaky. subtle. i watched certain movies or listened to certain albums because they were kinda what i was interested in, or because they seemed like the kind of thing IdealMe(tm) would be into. slowly, compromise by compromise, i drifted away from my center. i stopped reading fiction--stopped reading at all--one of the few activities that always returns me to my own mind. i was attracted to people who seemed fully immersed in their personal interests and tried to ride the coattails of their enthusiasm (cue codependent no more). 

it wasn’t until (yet another) quasi-romantic connection burst into flames that i (all too slowly) began asking myself the hard questions. what was i hoping to escape? why did i expect other people to rescue me from my despair? where the fuck was i and how did i end up there????!??!?!?! help!!!

and, so on.

a year of covid passed, and several relationships grew more troubled. i began to see my own toxic behaviors mirrored back to me, this time magnified to the tenth power. i saw how attachments form. i saw how unfettered need might cause us to siphon other people’s life force, even those we respect and admire. especially them. i saw that i was not responsible for anyone else’s opinion of me. i saw that, in fact, the only thing i could be responsible for in this life was myself. and, that terrified me. i worried that i wasn’t up to the task. i worried that i would fail myself as i had so many times before. after a number of traumatic experiences and the longterm effects of relentless misogynoir, i didn’t feel capable of living my own life. this was partly because i had been wandering for so long, but also because i realized that i would have to become a different person. 

i would have to become myself. which meant letting go of so much baggage re: what i thought i wanted or knew i was supposed to want. i discovered i was in school for a degree i didn’t care about. i discovered that my inner fire was almost burnt out. i needed to bring it back.

after deliberating how i might go about doing this, i decided that i would return to the place that started it all. the olde cursed site. the place where so much of my humor comes from. the place that has shaped me into a weirder kinder human being in the hope that maybe, just maybe, there’s enough magic left to do it again. 

“something good can work” by two door cinema club, a song i first became obsessed with at 16/17 just popped up on shuffle. i hope that title still holds true. 

we’ll see. 

[jaynovz]

Fandom and Media-related Academic Papers Masterpost

Eyo. I mentioned awhile back that I wrote a bunch of stuff for my English MA that I never ended up publishing but I’d like it to be available anyway. I did the work, the research, imbued a lot of passion into these papers--so I want people besides me and my profs to have the chance to read them. Though they’re a few years old now, I feel a lot of it still holds up. :) 

(Please don’t repost or use without permission, though I’m aware I can’t really regulate that.)

Hope y’all enjoy~

-

The Phenomenon of Coded Communiqués in Folklore: Abu-Lughod’s Veiled Sentiments and Tumblr Fandom: This is about fandom and tumblr specifically as a new form of folklore as compared to Bedouin oral poetry aka a “tried and true” form of folklore. Written December 2017, before the Tumblr purge, so the landscape I was writing about has changed, though I do think most of the points stand.

Rich and Rehabilitating Representations of the Queer and Disabled in Bryan Fuller’s Hannibal (2013-15): This is basically what it says on the tin. Queer and disabled rep in the Hannibal tv show, how those identities intersect, and what representation means/why it’s so important. Ohhh lads, if only I’d known about/seen Black Sails while I was in this class -clenches fists- Anyway. This was one of my favorite papers to write. Written May 2018.

“I’ll see you again in 25 years:” The Surreal horror, Legacy and Cultural Implications of Twin Peaks (1990-2, 2017): This is a cultural studies paper about the original Twin Peaks and then its Return, horror, specifically surreal horror, why we need it, why we like it, why it’s important. My prof wanted us to write what’s called an “object analysis,” which is a little bit of different animal from lit analysis papers. Written May 2018.

The Wendigo, The Folkloresque, and Hannibal (2013): Yep, Jay writing more Hannibal papers. I wrote as many as I could get away with, lol. This one deals with the Wendigo, how its folklore developed and how it then is reinterpreted into pop culture, ending up in the tv show in various forms. Written December 2018.

Korrasami, Bechloe, and the Dearth of Femslash in Fandom: Okay this is kind of my pride and joy in a lot of ways. Also, a bunch of you fine folks helped by participating in a Google doc survey regarding femslash :D This paper asks why there’s so little wlw fan content comparatively and frankly this is still a big issue 3ish years later. Written December 2018.

Bonus:

Here’s the one undergrad paper I want to include which I wrote for my capstone class.

Adaptation Fidelity and Intertexuality : Pride and Prejudice (1995) and The Lizzie Bennet Diaries: This was when little baby Jay realized she could write about pop culture! This one is not up to par with the grad work because of course it wouldn’t be. But I’m still pretty happy with what my fledgling cultural and media studies self made of this. This paper is all about what makes a “good” adaptation by comparing different versions of Pride and Prejudice as well as talking a lot about high art vs pop art and intertextuality. Written May 2013.

--

Blanket disclaimer that I’m just another scholar be-bopping around, I don’t know everything and I have my own privileges and blindspots. I’ve also learned a shit-ton in the intervening 3ish years (8ish years for the Austen paper), so these won’t necessarily reflect that new/current knowledge. So yeah, like, just please don’t be an asshole. 

Engage with it critically if you like, I would frankly love if someone wanted to discuss any of this with me, but argue in good faith.

[antiphon]

fanfic ask: 5 & 12 :)

5. Favorite tropes? Absolute jams? Are they consistent from fandom to fandom?

Look for me you are never gonna beat a good old-fashioned sick fic. I just love giving the characters a chance to come through for each other! A sick fic is not the only way to do that, but it’s one of the standard ones. 

That said--this easily applies to most of my ships and fandoms, but I’m finding myself really stuck on Ocean’s 8 sick fic, as a concept. You could have really cute ones - a million Tammy/Nine instantiations, for instance - but I’m not sure I’d love it in the same way. The capacity for great Hustlers sick fic is there, but it’s not the first thing I’d go for. Maybe it’s that a ship that feels less lived-in in canon (those are both movies, not tv shows, and just don’t have that much time) doesn’t lend itself so well to sick fic; maybe (more likely?) I don’t love taming women who do ridiculous rad shit in canon and making them sleep or sit at bedsides. For a more high-energy ship? Everybody loves a good road trip au, whether crime-ridden or not. Changing circumstances can get you interesting character stuff.

12.  Are you a picky reader?

Truly, no. I mean, there are stages, though! I usually come to fic because I want more of/from canon, so I arrive ravenous, but you also have the most choices then, when you haven’t read anything already. So maybe after a few pages of ao3 reading, I start closing stuff that I’m not really into. (There are things I’ll always close, but they aren’t really content-based.) But then, once I’m out of fic and just hanging around waiting for new stuff, I get less picky - after all, I only get to read what’s been posted since I last checked. As the hyperfixation fades and I don’t want to read so much, I might focus on writers I know I like or continuing with WIPs I’m already committed to.

I guess this makes it obvious that I’ve never read for a super popular ship or fandom with never-ending fics. I have absolutely read in fandoms where the dearth of fic made me try new things I turned out to like, change my mind about ships, etc. I’ve also read in fandoms where the backlog of fics outlasted the hyperfixation, but not by a lot, so that I sort of slogged through a few pages of fics to get to the end so I wouldn’t miss anything. I have no idea how I’d behave if I like suddenly got intensely into Marvel or something.

[itsclydebitches]

Maria mentions that she had tried to hide her silver-eye powers as a Huntress, but it didn't do her any good - and that her father noticed the dearth of silver-eyed warriors and realised that someone was eliminating them. Ozpin's immediate noticing of Ruby's silver eyes and accepting her into Beacon early takes on a much darker meaning; he likely wasn't accepting her because he thought he needed her for the war against Salem, but to keep an eye on her and make sure Salem's forces didn't find her

I personally never thought he wanted her for the war. Not directly. Not anything beyond her desire to kill grimm/assist the world in other huntress-y ways. If Ruby had continued to prove herself and express a desire to do more? Then yeah, he’d offer her a more overt place in the fight, like he did Qrow and Summer. But despite what most of the fandom seems to believe, Ozpin doesn’t manipulate people into doing his bidding. I don’t think he looked at this literal child and went, “Perfect! Another advantage against Salem...” 

We learn all we need to in the earlier volumes when Ironwood asks Ozpin, “Do you honestly believe your children can win a war?” and he responds “I hope they never have to.” Which, notably, he says to himself, quietly and after James has left. It’s a heartfelt, personal answer. Ozpin doesn’t want people to fight... but what he wants isn’t an option. So at the very least he’s going to make sure that all his allies are volunteers. 

So yeah. At the time Ozpin’s decision read as purely “This kid is crazy talented, the niece of my most trusted ally, is already showing a knack for getting in trouble, and has one of the most pure drives to do good I’ve ever seen. Why wouldn’t I let her into my school, the school specifically designed to nurture all these characteristics?” And yeah, now we have a secondary motivation: all of that plus “Oh shit, the kid throwing herself into fights with criminals also has silver eyes. If I didn’t want to let her in before I definitely do now, just as a means of keeping her safe. Because Salem’s bound to find out about her soon. She’s not exactly inconspicuous...” 

We know via Jaune that Ozpin is willing to let people in with almost no fighting skills, so I think he would have enrolled Ruby even without her drive and talent with a scythe, just to keep her safe. But actually having those? Being worthy of this two year jump regardless of eye color? Icing on the cake. 

[overthinkingkdrama]

what are your thoughts on the first 2 eps for boyfriend so far, how are you liking it?

I’m sorry I was so slow replying to this that the first 4 episodes are out now. I appreciate you sending me the ask. I was thinking about whether I should create my own reaction post or not. I’ve seen quite a bit of activity in this tag, which is delightful because lately I’ve only been watching dramas where the tag is a total ghost town.

For me, the first episode of Boyfriend was one of the strongest and most visually striking premiers of the year. I’m not always one for destination romances in Kdramas because a) you know the return to Korea is inevitable and it often feels like a gimmick and b) sometimes the beautiful scenery seems to be there to make up for a dearth of character writing or chemistry. Boyfriend didn’t stumble into either of those pitfalls as far as I’m concerned.

Certainly there was a lot of beautiful scenery and I felt the PD really knew how to make good use of all that beauty to set a mood and establish characters.

The biggest complaint I keep seeing about Boyfriend is that it’s boring and old-fashioned. Obviously, I don’t fall into that camp at all. I do think there is something really old-fashioned and almost dreamy about the pace and feel of the show, but I don’t see that as a problem. Rather I think it’s an intentional artistic decision. And I’m digging it.

People who aren’t interested in a fairly what-you-see-is-what-you-get sappy noona romance about two star-crossed lovers, sleazy chaebol maneuverings and class difference, are not going to enjoy this. This is one of the most classic chick flick feeling dramas I’ve every watched. Like a lighter Secret Love Affair without the infidelity angle. The first two episodes are a soft, lovely escapist fantasy about a woman who has been wounded and isolated by her shitty family and a pure, sincere, bookish boy who falls in love with her and brings warmth back into her life. And it looks like with this week we’ve made it past the set up and into the melodrama and gradual upping of stakes for our leads. I’m actually excited for it. Bring on the melo angst. It’ll give all our leads a chance to really flex. Especially Park Bo Gum. He’s been very good so far, but he’ll be even better when Jin Hyuk is in pain.

Personally, I think it’s great, but I totally get why people who enjoy the Strong Woman Do Bong Soo’s and Goblin’s of the world are not getting into it. (Am I throwing shade? No! I would never do that…) It’s not quite loud and frantic enough for a good half of this fandom, and there’s no wacky hook. It’s just nice. Visually stunning and classically romantic. That’s it.

And for what it’s worth I think the writing so far has been pretty good. It’s not blowing any minds, but I don’t know why it has to. I was honestly worried when I read who the writer was going to be. She’s the writer of both Pretty Man and Entertainer, neither of which instill confidence. But I didn’t realize she was also the screenwriter of a handful of movies I quite enjoyed (The Royal Tailor, Like for Likes, My Annoying Brother) and I relaxed a little bit. I think she has a good drama in her. I hope it’s this one.

Jona

[queerfictionwriter]

Something > Nothing

When I first arrived in fandom on AO3, I puttered around for a good long while, enjoying fic and figuring out where my niche was. I spent a couple years as a reader before posting anything new (I’d moved over old fanfic from another site, because it was going to go under, but that’s not quite the same thing). And, while I was there, getting the lay of the land and figuring out that holy shit, the Steter ship is where I wanna be!, I wound up a recognized name. 

Specifically, for my commenting practises. Because I would sit down and devour a story, and then go full-on English major in the comment section, talking about metaphors and characterization and symbolism, about what I felt and character technique. To be clear, I wasn’t dumping unsolicited concrit on people who didn’t want it, I was genuinely positive and gushy about all the things I loved in the story I’d just read. I’d write whole paragraphs. 

But, well. There was an issue with that--namely, that writing that sort of mini-essay takes a lot of time, and effort, and intellectual engagement. And that’s not a bad thing, necessarily, but I didn’t always have that kind of time or the energy it required, especially if I was comfort-reading as self-care on Bad Brain Days. And, since I didn’t want to give a writer less than my best, I tended not to comment. 

But after being on Tumblr and hearing about how the AO3 comment culture is so hard to struggle through for so many people, with a dearth of comments and a loss of the sense of community that fandom is for, I realized my approach needed to change. I decided that, even if I couldn’t go on at length, something was better than nothing. Telling an author one (1) thing I loved about their story, or how it made me feel, or that their story was exactly what I needed today, or that I was back for a re-read because I just love this story so damn much, was better than silence. So I started trying to leave comments on at least 75% of what I read, even if it’s short. 

I do still leave long, flaily, gushy comments, but I don’t put pressure on myself anymore. If I have the energy that day, or if someone wrote a fic and gifted it to me, or if I’m having a lot of thoughts about what I just read, or if a fan author has indicated that they’re unsure about this fic or their writing (or even having a really hard time of things) then I will go on a ramble in the comment section. But I’m trying to make this a positive place for everyone, and since comments are love, leaving more of them--spreading them around to more people, doing my best to encourage creators and appreciate the gifts they give us--feels like the best way to have a positive impact, while still being kind to myself, too. 

[jenniferjuni-per]

Fictional women who shaped me

I was tagged by @skitzofreak, thank you my dear!!

Rules: List ten of your favorite female characters in ten different fandoms and then tag ten people. 

Leia Organa (Star Wars) - I feel like this will be a popular one, given our fandom, but I couldn’t leave her out. As a child growing up in the late seventies/early eighties, there was a dearth of positive female role models. Then came this little sci fi movie, and this little spitfire of a woman who took nobody’s shit and had just as much of a hand in saving herself, who took control and command, who was respected, AND she was a princess to boot! I wanted to be Princess Leia SO BAD when I was a kid lol

Wonder Woman (DC) - I grew up with Lynda Carter playing the role, but Gal Gadot can definitely hold her own. I was so jealous of my brother getting to read all of these comics about awesome male superheroes, so when I discovered Wonder Woman I was over the moon. Strong and smart and beautiful and compassionate, and also took no shit lol

Arwen & Eowyn (LOTR) - I’m grouping them together because they both had an impact on me for different reasons. I admired Arwen’s steadfast devotion to the man she loved and to a life she chose, but I also admired Eowyn’s strength of character and devotion to her family. Also that fucking scene where she kills the witch-king and says “I am no man!” FUCK ME UP I had to put the book down and walk around the room for a bit lol

Peggy Carter (Captain America/Marvel) - I knew I would love her once she punched that soldier in the face for being fresh. Kickass, takes no shit (there’s a theme here lol), KNOWS HER WORTH, and she got to snog Steve Rogers to boot :-)

Melinda May & Daisy Johnson (Agents of SHIELD/Marvel) - I had ZERO role models that were WOC when I was growing up, so when I saw these two Asian women having such prominent roles on a Marvel show, I couldn’t have been more ecstatic.

Elektra (Daredevil/Marvel) - Ok I might be cheating choosing all of these Marvel characters but whatevs. I read the Daredevil comics when I was a teen, and I just fell in love with this complex character. Was she good? Was she bad? She was probably the first “morally gray” character I’d encountered, and I was fascinated. Elodie Yung does a BITCHIN job of playing her on the Netflix series, and kudos to them for choosing an Asian actress :-)

Anna (Frozen) - This was the first Disney movie I’d seen where the princess chooses family over a man, and for me that was groundbreaking. My daughter was sitting beside me in the theater, and when that scene came on I was ready to roll my eyes (and have lots of ‘splainin to do) but then she saved her sister instead. What a wonderful message that I hoped my daughter had absorbed especially because at the time she hated having a little sister lol

Buffy (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, series) - I wanted to be cool like her, I wanted to fight like her, I wanted to be quick with the one-liners like her :-)

THE ENTIRE DORA MILAJE (Black Panther/Marvel) - I just saw Black Panther and I have been blown away. Of course I loved Nakia and Shuri, but Okoye and the fucking Dora Milaje MY GOD

Ripley (Alien series) tied with Marion (Indiana Jones series) - Cheating again and putting two together here, because they came out around the same time, and I loved watching these women onscreen, clearly terrified in their situations but somehow still keeping it together.

Tagging: @karis-the-fangirl, @wheres-your-rum, @pingou7, @punkpoemprose, @imsfire2, @ruby-red-inky-blue, @incognitajones, @jupiter235, @jessica988, @morgaine2005 (if you haven’t done it already, and only if you want to!)

[bluering8]

Fandom: Transformers Animated

THE OTP: Either Jazz/Prowl or Lockdown/Prowl. On the one hand, Jazz/Prowl is very cute and I think their shared background as cyberninjas gives them enough in common that they can complement each other rather than clash in the areas where they differ. On the other hand, Lockdown/Prowl is an awful awful ship full of terrible things and slow corruption and possible coercion and I just (thumbs up) I’m human garbage and I am so here for this.

M/F OTP: Lugnut/Strika. I feel bad for caring about a ship where one of the characters gets like five seconds and a paragraph of personality, but oh my god look at how Lugnut acts towards Megatron, don’t tell me he wouldn’t act exactly the same way towards his wife. It would be adorable. Like my absolute favourite dynamic for M/F ships is the one where she’s a complete powerhouse who could effortlessly snap him in two and he is completely unabashed about thinking that’s the hottest thing ever.

M/M OTP: Not counting Jazz/Prowl or Lockdown/Prowl… aaargh I don’t know. I’ll pretty much ship anything but there aren’t a lot of ships I’m invested in. Optimus/Sentinel I guess, although I prefer them as a trio with Elita-1.

F/F OTP: Nope. Look man I love this dumb cartoon about shapeshifting robots but it has a major dearth of ladies. Basically like I just (gestures) (shrugs) I don’t know.

Fav Female: SARI SUMDAC. I love Sari she is a treasure and a delight. I wish she’d had more screentime towards the end, I kind of feel like there should’ve been more exploration of her character and how she was dealing with things.Fav Male: Lockdown. Look man I just. I love bounty hunters and I love his aesthetic and I love what a piece of shit he is. He’s like the second most attractive character in the whole show ngl

Least Fav Female: uh. Slo-Mo. Her speech patterns just piss me right the fuck off, okay.Least Fav Male: The Constructicons oh god I loathe the Constructicons. I don’t even remember what they did to make me hate them so much I just remember the all-consuming white-edged rage they provoked in me.

Why I joined the fandom: Once upon a time I was reading a thread where some people were discussing a comic about shapeshifting robots and then I accidentally got emotionally invested in the shapeshifting robot characters so I read the comic and then I fell in love and then oh look here’s a cartoon which is also about shapeshifting robots and apparently it’s really good? And it was super good.

[hermanwatts]

Sensor Sweep: Antiheroes, Theodore Sturgeon, A. E. van Vogt, Dreadstar

Popular Culture (Adam Lane Smith): Much has been made about the oft-lamented shift from Hero to Antihero and the modern obsession with romanticizing evil. Most frequently, I’ve heard this complaint directed at modern western media’s fixation on selecting one unyielding human trash fire after another as every main character. There’s a reason modern book sales and movie sales are struggling. To understand the shift over the last hundred years of stories and main characters, one must understand the cultural environments and the mental aspects at play, particularly attachment formation and its impact on society.

  Writing (Rawle Nyanzi): With every passing day, it seems that global pop culture disappoints us more. Classic franchises are vandalized into self-parodies to “modernize” them, creative talent increasingly treats fandoms as the enemy, and geek-oriented media champion the intimidation and silencing of creatives who don’t toe a very particular ideological line. The Pulp Mindset is not a book on how to make millions with one simple trick. It is not a book about gaming Amazon’s ever-changing algorithm. It is a book about having the right mentality for storytelling.

Hugo Awards (Dark Herald): This years Hugos went so far beneath my radar I didn’t know they had happened. I think we have finally reached the point where a Hugo Award is actually damaging to an author’s reputation. Certainly, no one who loves Science Fiction will want to buy a book with the words Hugo Award winner on the cover. As you may know by now. George R.R. Martin hosted the 2020 Hugo Awards and he was apparently too old to be Woke.

Fiction (DMR Books): Now I don’t have to wait six months to release my collection! Necromancy in Nilztiria will be available in next month, and the cover illustration (which you can see to the left) is based upon “A Twisted Branch of Yggdrasil.” In this tale, the Norseman Hrolfgar and the Atlantean Deltor have been drawn through the labyrinths of time and space to the world of Nilztiria by a sorceress, who commands them to slay her enemy, Xaarxool the Necromancer. But as you can see this is no easy task, for Xaarxool has giant skeletons to defend him.

Fiction (Marzaat): Like most critics, he regards Sturgeon’s supreme strength as characterization. Sturgeon was allegedly good at seeing the cruelty behind civilization and the ways “conventional morality” (supposedly Sturgeon distinguished that from “fundamental ethical systems”) created anxieties and phobias hence some of his horror stories like “Bianca’s Hands”). Stableford contends Sturgeon never was onboard with John W. Campbell’s enthusiasm for science and technology. He suggests that Sturgeon’s “Killdozer!”, with its bulldozer under the control of a hostile alien force, is a hostile metaphor for that enthusiasm.

Fiction (Wasteland & Sky): Much credit should go author and editor Richard Paolinelli for all the work he has done in the Planetary Anthology series. After Superversive Press shuttered it looked unlikely that the project would ever be completed and was destined to be a what-if, but not only has Tuscany Bay released more volumes than Superversive did (and next month will have re-released all of Superversive’s old volumes), it has also carried the project into a whole new medium. That would be into the burgeoning audio book world.

History (Jon Mollison): The pre-history of the Americas is a true dark age – a time of great uncertainty and filled with mysteries for which we may never have solutions.  The most basic of these, who was the first to arrive, remains shrouded in conflicting narratives and contradictory evidence provided by scattered and controversial archaeology sites. The question assumes the Bering Straits Theory is the only one that holds water.  A rather sizable assumption given the dearth of evidence.  And the possible explanation lies in the stone-age sailing ship piloted by Thor Heyerdahl.

Dragon Awards (Dragoncon): In this three-part series, past Dragon Award recipients talk about their award-winning novels and their Dragon Awards experience. During this time, nothing provides a better escape from the world than diving into the pages of a Dragon Award winning novel. The Dragon Awards, launched in 2016 in tandem with Dragon Con’s 30th anniversary, allows readers, writers, publishers, and editors a way to recognize excellence in all things Science Fiction and Fantasy. These Awards are by the fans, for the fans, and are a chance to reward those who have made real contributions to SF, books, games, comics, and media.

Cinema (Other Master Cylinder): John Saxon was born Carmine Orrico in Brooklyn, the first child of Antonio and Anna Orrico. His mother was born in Caserta, a small city near Naples in Italy. There’s some confusion about John’s age, partly due to his fiddling’ of the dates for his first contract. “I was born on August 5, 1936. Many have it wrong because I made myself a year older to get a Universal contract at the start. If I had been younger it wouldn’t have worked.”

Review (George Kelly): The 9th book in the Harry Dresden series features Dresden in a desperate quest to clear his vampire brother, Thomas, from a cunning plot by powerful Magical Interests. Harry Dresden, professional Wizard and Private Investigator for the City of Chicago, grew up an orphan. His upbringing included a lot of physical and mental abuse which explains his taciturn disposition.

Comic Books (Totally Epic): Finally! After 3400 pages of Epic Illustrated, we’ve (that is, I) have finally arrived at the first thing published by Epic Comics! Er, or, rather not, because first we’re doing Marvel Graphic Novel #3, Dreadstar. I mean, I kinda have to, because it bridges the story started in Epic Illustrated and The Price (over at Eclipse) and the Dreadstar series proper.

Fiction (Amatopia): I’m three-quarters through The Fall of Hyperion by Dan Simmons–sequel to Hyperion and book 2 in the 4 book Hyperion Cantos series–and I can’t stop singing these books’ praises. I think so far I’ve convinced over ten people to give Hyperion a shot. It has been a long time since I’ve found a novel or series that has engrossed me to this degree, particularly a sci-fi novel.

Fiction & RPG (The Other Side): Over the last couple of years, I have been on a quest to find and read all the Raven books by “Richard Kirk” who was, in reality, the pen name of authors Angus Wells and Robert Holdstock.  Both wrote Book 1 and then they alternated with Wells on Books 3 and 5 and Holdstock on Books 2 and 4. The story is one that is simple, but close to many FRP gamers. Raven wants to kill Karl Ir Donwayne. How is going to do that? Well, they need to Skull of Quez to appease this ruler to get to Donwayne.

Review (Rough Edges): The Digest Enthusiast, Book Twelve – Richard Krauss, ed. Interviews

Tony Gleeson (Fantastic, Amazing Science Fiction, Mike Shayne, Personal Crimes).

John Shirley (Weirdbook, Fantastic, The Crow, Constantine, Wetbones).

Games (25 Years Later): From the very beginning, you are made readily aware of not only the stakes but the epicness of the tale at the heart of Darksiders. The tale I speak of is at first set in modern-day Earth, and you take up the role of War, one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse, who finds himself in our realm in the midst of a battle between Heaven and Hell. This is where Darksiders gives us a taste of War’s power before stripping it all away when he is killed during the battle. After War’s demise, he is brought in front of the Charred Council, where the blame of the apocalyptic events is placed squarely on his shoulders.

Pulp Fiction (DMR Books): The story starts in the “author as ghostwriter” conceit, as was the fashion of the time ever since its popularisation by Edgar Rice Burroughs in his Sword and Planet tales, and indeed utilised by Merritt himself in other stories such as The Moon Pool. So ubiquitous is this method of acclimatising the reader to tales of death-defying derring-do, it almost lulls the reader into a false sense of security – that this adventure will be just another ripping yarn, good for the mental exercise, but could safely be put down after reading.

RPG (Black Gate): Getting into Conan 2d20, for the casual gamer, or for the merely curious, demands a fair amount of cognitive load. This is because, I believe, the system is so innovative — and those innovations are precisely what makes this a Conan game. I have encountered many anecdotes of gamers and consumers gleefully obtaining this gorgeous hardcover tome (or PDF), riffling through it, saying, “Huh?” then setting it aside with a “Sorry, not for me, but the art is pretty, and this still makes a good resource.” adventures, the pandemic hit, and these two players weren’t interested in online play.

RPG (Silver Key): Ideas are a dime a dozen. It’s all about execution. The title of the post should speak for itself, but a little context. Heard on the intranets recently… “Gary Gygax ripped off Dave Arneson! Dave is D&D’s true creator!” My response: Horse shit. Ideas are like a@#$holes. We’ve all got one, and most stink. I can sit here in the calm quiet of my living room and fire off a dozen. “Weight loss app.” “Online mentoring program for pediatricians.” “Telehealth scheduling interface.” “Dying Earth role-playing game.”

Comic Books (Bleeding Cool): Sylvian Runberg writes: “When I was offered to do an adaptation of Conan, I was immediately thrilled, and for several reasons.     The first is that this character was a part of my childhood, especially with the comics drawn by John Buscema and obviously the film with Arnold Scharwzenegger. But the second, and maybe the most important reason, is Patrice Louinet, one of the worldwide best specialist of Robert E. Howard, who could advise us during the making of this adaptation, offered me the possibility to discover an another Conan from the one I had in mind from this childhood, a more complex character living in a more complex world, even if we’re still talking about fantasy, magic spells, epic adventures and monsters.

T.V. (Dark Worlds Quarterly): In 1982, Robert E. Howard’s Conan the Cimmerian was brought to the big screen in a film featuring Arnold Schwartzenegger. The success of Conan the Barbarian spawned a plethora of bad Sword & Sorcery films (including Conan sequels). I will make no comment on those films here but state none was better than average and most were far below the worst of the Ray Harryhausen’s classics. Until 1999’s The Thirteenth Warrior I can’t think of a post-Conan film of a heroic fantasy of any real interest. Since the release of Peter Jackson’s The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Fantasy films have been experienceing another renaissance.

Tolkien (The Wert Zone): The Hugo Awards are the premier awards for science fiction and fantasy literature, first given out in 1953 and every year since 1955. One of the more interesting mysteries of the award is that J.R.R. Tolkien, widely regarded as the most prominent fantasy author of the 20th Century, was never given one despite being eligible on multiple occasions.

Science Fiction (Fantasy Literature): This collection of nine short stories, novelettes and novellas originally appeared in hardcover form in 1952, from the publisher Pelligrini & Cudahy, and sold for $3.50. By the time my edition came out, the Berkley Medallion paperback from 1963, with another wonderfully abstract/Surrealist cover by the great Richard Powers, the cover price had dropped to 50 cents but the number of stories in the collection had been reduced to seven. Missing were the novelettes “Vault of the Beast,” from the Aug. ’40 ASF, and “Heir Unapparent,” from that same magazine’s June ’45 issue.

RPG (Grognardia): I bought Mörk Borg solely because of its physical characteristics. A local friend of mine raved about it months ago and then, while perusing Free League’s website recently, I caught a glimpse of it in all its lurid glory. I was so intrigued by its bright yellow cover and black, white, and red artwork that I ordered a copy and anxiously awaited its arrival. I was not disappointed when it appeared at last: the 96-page A5 book is sturdy and well-made, like so many European RPG books these days. Most of the paper in the book has a satin finish, but its last section, presenting an introductory adventure, has a rough, natural feel to it.

Fiction (Adventures Fantastic): Today, July 24, is the birthday of John D. MacDonald (1916-1986). MacDonald wrote for the pulps and transitioned to paperbacks when the pulps died. (I wish someone would collect all his science fiction.) For today’s birthday post, I want to look at One Monday We Killed Them All. Dwight McAran beat a girl to death and went to prison for it. He’s about to get out. Dwight is Fenn Hillyer’s brother-in-law. Fenn is a cop. They don’t get along.

Sensor Sweep: Antiheroes, Theodore Sturgeon, A. E. van Vogt, Dreadstar published first on https://sixchexus.weebly.com/

[itylien]

I’ll be honest - fandom disappointed me greatly with terrible dearth of good fanfic which is why I am now watching the show again. To figure out if it can’t be done.

And holy shit it absolutely can be done it’s just you have to set it properly. And, frankly, 70% of what I read, to date, jumped the gun so terribly early fics turned unreadable in first paragraph. 15% went too close to RPF territory and died there. Some got the characterization so wrong I don’t even know what the fuck.

So. Yeah. Those are the same fangirls I am. Hopefully not stupid people so why the hell is there nothing to read?? Because in 4th episode the show attempted to serve us some standard HBO war drama and it sucked. Successfully distracting us from the truth that time for porn is after 3rd ep.

[lifeonashelf]

CAT POWER

When I started working as a clerk at Rhino in 2001, one of my floor managers was a guy named Aaron, a real cool cat who was a few years older than me and a fellow writer (poetry, mostly, but working on his elusive first novel, if I recall correctly). At the time, he probably also fit the textbook description of an alcoholic—hey, it was a record store; most of us who worked there fit that textbook description. But Aaron wasn’t one of those slovenly, discernibly reckless drunks. He was a good-looking dude whose unruffled mien suggested that when he got wasted, he got Elegantly Wasted, and whenever he came in the morning after a bender, the luggage under his eyes was accompanied by a knowing smirk which intimated he had way more fun than you did last night and possibly woke up next to a foxy companion whose name he could only vaguely recall. Naturally, since I was a budding writer with aspirations of being an Elegantly-Wasted alcoholic, I looked up to the guy.

After Aaron left Rhino (I was promoted into the managerial spot he vacated, so he did me a solid there), he switched to bartending at a spot called the Second Avenue Alehouse, where we continued to have positive dealings. Since one of his duties was booking bands to perform at the pub, he slotted Happyending into the schedule several times. Second Avenue was in Upland—only ten miles away from almost everyone I knew at the time—and the place drew healthy business with or without us, so our Alehouse gigs were all reliably well-attended. We were also allowed to play for as long as we wanted, an attractive proposition since our repertoire had ballooned to something like 50 originals and 15 or so covers at that point. Since we obviously thought we had a lot of good tunes to offer, executing a Pearl Jam-esque thirty-song set was much more appealing to us than whittling our wares into a tidy thirty-minute package to be efficiently shoe-horned into rosters with like six other bands at the more traditional clubs where we performed. Plus, Aaron always made sure we got paid—generously, I might add, for an outfit of our limited stature—and kept us plied with free beer all night. Unsurprisingly, the Second Avenue Alehouse ended up being my very favorite venue that ever hosted Happyending.

[Our experiences there were infinitely preferable to some of our more ill-starred outings, such as one disastrous gig at a Cask ‘N Cleaver steakhouse (yes, really) in Orange County, where our entire audience consisted of my dad, the restaurant’s staff, and the consequently aggrieved lady who booked the show: an amateur promoter named Linda, who we had done a few previous gigs for despite ascertaining she was fucking insane. Linda was in particularly rare form the evening of that fabled Cask ‘n Cleaver show. While we were chatting with her upon our arrival at the eatery, she erupted into a lengthy tirade about how the government was putting chemicals in Hostess Twinkies which allowed the CIA to use said snack cakes for nefarious mind-control purposes. She was wholly sincere—and rather frightening in her fervor—so I didn’t have the stones to tell her that the only post-hypnotic suggestion I’ve ever received while eating a Twinkie is that Twinkies are goddamn delicious and I should eat five more of them in immediate succession. Anyway, Linda was incensed that we had failed to lure vast throngs of people to come watch us play in the lounge of a two-and-a-half-star chain restaurant located in a city where we didn’t know anybody. As our scheduled set-time drew near and the establishment remained completely empty, her fretfulness morphed into a vehement lambasting. “Where is everybody, Taylor?” Linda growled, to which I summed up the utter idiocy of the booking by shrugging and telling her, “Linda, this is a Cask ‘N Cleaver.” Nevertheless, we played reasonably well to that room full of vacant white-clothed tables—the candles ornamenting each one gently flickered as I threw power-chords and throaty yells at them, almost like a swaying sea of lighter-hoisting admirers; if we had any ballads in our set, we might have found ourselves in the midst of a poignant moment there. I also definitely noticed the bartender rocking out while he idly wiped down all the mugs behind the bar, ostensibly preparing his glassware just in case the zero people sitting at his counter started ordering pints. However, what I remember most about that night is how dejected we felt driving home from the gig… Not because my father was the only person who showed up to see us, mind you, but because we realized we had inadvertently walked out on the sizable tab we accrued for the hearty appetizers-and-all feast we devoured before our performance. I assure you our malfeasance was wholly unintentional (the food was really quite good; the joint handily earned its 2.5 stars). We simply forgot all about the bill because we were so focused on making a quick exit from the premises after we finished packing up our gear—as I said, Linda was livid; we were justifiably worried she might assault us with Scopolamine-laced Twinkies if we stuck around to give her the chance. In any case, I never returned to that Cask ‘N Cleaver (apparently, the dearth of clientele wasn’t limited to the nights Happyending performed there because the location has long since closed) so it’s entirely possible there is an outstanding warrant for my arrest in the city of Fountain Valley.]

My memories of hanging out with Aaron after each of our Alehouse performances are just as fond as my memories of the shows themselves. We closed the pub down every time we played there, and our host was always game for a few after-hours rounds once he cleared everyone else out; more than once, we ended up lingering to drink and smoke and shoot the shit until four or five in the morning, which naturally proved to be a fertile milieu for some extremely pleasant and memorable conversations (actually, I can’t really remember them, I just remember they were pleasant). Anyway, aside from that, the main reason Aaron has turned up in this essay is because in addition to being a real good dude, he was also a big fan of Cat Power.

I hadn’t yet heard any of Cat Power’s music when she first came up in palaver with Aaron at Rhino, so it was through him I learned that moniker is the stage name used by a highly-regarded singer-songwriter named Chan Marshall, who he assessed as follows: “She’s a fucking trainwreck, man. But I love her.” He then went on to tell me about some of the various Cat Power gigs he had attended over the years, which he succinctly described as “iffy”—he was being overly polite, I think, considering the particulars he then shared.

Aaron told me he was present for at least one show where Marshall abruptly ended the set after a few songs and walked off stage without explanation (which was evidently a common occurrence at the time), and another which was cancelled moments before it was set to begin because she didn’t feel like playing at all (which was evidently also a common occurrence at the time). Yet Aaron sounded positively tickled as he described these episodes to me, as if an aborted Cat Power concert was still a rewarding event to witness—to hear him tell it, Chan Marshall’s histrionic refusal to perform somehow endeared her to him more, perhaps even perversely validated his enthusiasm for her work because her erratic conduct reinforced the brittle-diva mythos she had cultivated. Since he had already accepted the “will-she-or-won’t-she” cliffhanger as part of the whole Cat Power mystique, even when Marshall was too much of a mess to operate, she was still satisfying some aspect of his fandom. And he clearly wasn’t dissuaded by either of these experiences; the very next time a Cat Power gig was announced in our area, Aaron bought a ticket for that show, too.

In a very real sense, Chan Marshall was playing hard to get. But Aaron kept chasing her because he was optimistic that someday, if he persisted, she was bound to eventually put out and play songs at one of her concerts. I’m fascinated by the singular impact this prolonged ear-tease fostered for him. Imagine: when he finally did get to watch a complete Cat Power performance, that gig must have been momentous by default, simply by virtue of it actually happening. And make no mistake, the effusiveness of Aaron’s gushing suggested he would remain a steadfast fan for life; though the wearisome cycle he described made me initially reckon that Chan Marshall was either a pretentious wanker or a narcissistic wacko, the more I think about it, she might actually be a genius.    

[When I told my friend Paul I was working on this piece, he shared a strikingly similar reminiscence of a Cat Power performance he went to in Claremont several years back. According to him, that show started 45-minutes late because Marshall kept sending out a roadie in her stead to fastidiously tune and retune her piano several times; Paul also added that when Chan finally took the stage, she was essentially dragged there by one of her handlers and never once used the piano which had been so painstakingly fussed over.]

To this day, I still know almost nothing about Chan Marshall or her music, beyond Aaron’s insinuation that she apparently doesn’t like performing it in front of people. I do have one Cat Power selection in my library—you wouldn’t be reading this if I didn’t—though the sole reason I own You Are Free is because one of the tracks features a guest appearance from Eddie Vedder, and that is the only song on the album I can recall ever listening to (I didn’t even purchase this disc, actually; mine is an advance promotional copy that was given to me when it was released in 2003—in a precisely literal sense, I could say to this CD, “you are free”).

Despite writing nearly 2,000 words up to this point, I still have not cued up a single song off You Are Free. I decided to take an atypical approach to this essay because I wanted to examine this particular offering in a more concentrated fashion. Although I’ve spent a lot of time heckling Cat Power thus far, my casual mockery isn’t motivated by any authentic malice—I’ve been doing it mostly just because I’m a dick sometimes. The truth is, I have lofty expectations for this record. Marshall’s work comes enthusiastically endorsed by multiple people I know, and the credentials she has cultivated since Aaron first told me about her (widespread critical acclaim, concert appearances at which she presumably actually performed, etc.) have made me far more curious about Cat Power now than I was 12 years ago. So I’m ready to give Chan Marshall my undivided attention. And just to make sure I’m listening closely, I’m going to tackle You Are Free one track at a time:

Okay, so the first song on the disc is called “I Don’t Blame You”. It’s essentially just a rudimentary piano melody with an austere vocal on top of it—it reminds me of all the songs in Tori Amos’s catalog I don’t like, mostly. Marshall’s voice sure is lovely, though. Delicate. Subdued. Lamenting. And the piano has obviously been meticulously tuned.

Up next is the quasi title-track, “Free”. This cut kicks off with a cycle of four stabbing power chords, so I’m anticipating that it maybe-possibly is going to rock. A few bars in, I’m slightly reminded of Elastica, which is totally fine with me because Elastica is awesome. Now an atonal second guitar part has joined the fray in the background—sweet, the song is building. Chan keeps repeating the same riff over and over again, but this motif is bound to make a huge impression when the drums kick in and the chorus arrives. Yep, there we go: a crunchy guitar just dropped in to double the chords, and… Oh… So, that only happened twice; now we’re back to the lumbering refrain she’s been playing this whole time. Okay, here come the drums… Wait, those aren’t real drums—they sound like the percussion pads on a child’s keyboard, and it’s not even a “beat,” really, just some clunky tap-tap kick-snare thing. Something’s bound to happen soon though, I can feel it. “Everybody / get together / free.” There aren’t a whole lot of lyrics in this song. Okay, any second now, the dynamic payoff is going to… Wait… It’s over? What the fuck, Chan? One dopey riff for three and a half minutes, “everybody, get together, free” like eight times, and that was it? Shit. That was anticlimactic.

Thankfully, “Good Woman” is much better. The warm guitar tone sells it: slow, chiming notes on reprise, but there’s some emotional atmosphere behind them. R.E.M. has built countless great tunes around this same minimalist approach, and it’s working just fine here. I also dig the fiddles randomly scissoring through; they sound like they’re playing the chords to an entirely different song, but that’s kind of neat and it works. This is super-droney and super-gloomy, but in a good way. Chan Marshall really does sing beautifully. Maybe I like Cat Power. My promo copy didn’t include a lyric booklet, but this track is making me sad, so I’m assuming it’s about something sad. That’s cool, I love sad music. Hey, there’s Eddie Vedder. He sounds sad, too.

Now we’re on to “Speak For Me”. Yeah, I can get on board with this—perhaps those first two unexceptional tracks were flukes? This is a perfect spot on the album to encounter a decent mid-tempo number that actually feels like a fully-formed song, with chord changes and a chorus and everything. This reminds me a bit of Neko Case, and I figured out a couple entries ago that I love Neko Case. I wonder if the Girl With the Neko Case Tote enjoys Cat Power. I should text her and ask her. There’s a nifty plinking piano line and a few layers of textured guitars along for the ride, so this track has a lot going for it. Good tune.

“Werewolf” is a rather glum exercise, but I like the sparse arrangement and the way the lazily-picked campfire acoustic sits way down in the mix and the pair of melancholy violins moaning on top of it. Marshall’s pipes are the clear centerpiece here, though; now that I’ve heard her run through a few modulations I’m getting a better sense of what all the fuss is about. I can’t tell if this song is about metaphorical werewolves or actual werewolves, but from the sound of things I’m reasonably certain it’s about werewolves who are non-metaphorically depressed. I’d probably be depressed if I was a werewolf, too. I can totally relate to this one.

Now I’m listening to “Fool”, which sounds exactly like what I assumed Cat Power would sound like when I didn’t know what Cat Power sounded like. This track isn’t doing much for me. The only instrumentation here is an elementary replicating guitar line; while there’s nothing wrong with “simple,” “Fool” veers much closer to “dull.” There are a couple of harmonizing vocal stratums present to beef up Marshall’s quaver and infuse the track with some nuance, but there’s nothing especially special about this one, I’m afraid. The promotional blurb on my CD notes that “You Are Free marks Chan Marshall’s first album of original material in nearly 4 years…” “Fool” is only four minutes long, and shouldn’t have taken any capable musician much longer than that to write—I can’t fathom what Chan was doing for the rest of those four years.

“He War” marks the record’s mid-point and would, I assume, be the last tune on Side A if I was listening to this on vinyl. That makes this a significant cut in terms of placement, though it’s not particularly significant in terms of quality. Actually, this is the first song I’ve heard on You Are Free that I’m having trouble distinguishing from other songs I’ve already heard on You Are Free—it basically just marries the repetitive chugging of “Free” to the loose groove of “Speak For Me”. I’ve heard enough sparks of excellence thus far to discern that Marshall is a skilled songwriter, but this is another one of those instances where Chan merely stumbles into a single serviceable riff and continuously recycles it for the entire track. This album is starting to frustrate me; I still have the haunting hum of “Werewolf” in my head and I keep wishing Cat Power was consistently as good as that track suggests. Marshall’s voice remains great, but “He War” doesn’t conjure up a very exciting backdrop for it. Instantly forgettable, this one. I hope Side B is stronger.

The second division begins with “Shaking Paper”, which is indeed stronger than the last two numbers. Marshall is still only playing one phrase, but it’s a good one, and this tune at least has a legitimate snapping drum beat carrying it along. There’s also a feedback-rich binary guitar track lending some effectively menacing ambiance. This one, I get.

“Baby Doll” is another somber narrative in the same tonal vein as “Werewolf”, and I like this one a lot, too. Marshall’s husky front-and-center vocals here are exquisite. She hits a couple of plainly-audible flubbed guitar notes, and I totally dig that she left the mistakes in; the emotional urgency of the track benefits from those spontaneous human touches. This song sounds like something you’d hear in a pivotal film scene—Jennifer Lawrence driving down a lonesome shadow-swept highway in a torrential rain storm looking gorgeously despondent at the end of the second act, perhaps. I’m not sure if that’s exactly what Chan Marshall had in mind when she wrote this; You Are Free came out in 2003, so she was probably picturing Kate Winslet instead. Nevertheless, “Baby Doll” is more evocative and potent than anything else I’ve heard on this disc. If all of Chan’s stuff was this strong, I would definitely consider going back and deleting all of the snarky jibes in this piece—but, you know, I’m not going to do that.

Alas, the title of the next song serves as an apt rejoinder to my supposition that maybe I’m starting to genuinely dig Cat Power: “Maybe Not”. I wasn’t craving yet another Chan-at-the-piano exercise, let alone one that is essentially a lackluster reworking of “I Don’t Blame You”; I think she may be playing the exact same chords, even. The blurb on my CD’s insert proclaims that “You Are Free is most assuredly not easy listening,” which now reads more like a warning than a sanction. I’m always suspicious when publicists whose job is to promote an album use “challenging” as a buzzword. That just seems like a democratic way of saying, “this record sounds terrible at first, but maybe it will grow on you if you listen to it a whole bunch of times.”

In a sterling example of what could only be kismet, one of the first lyrics I discern in the next cut is the phrase, “having difficulty.” And I am: “Names” is so drearily monotonous that merely lasting through it is a grueling task. It’s the longest track on the album, stretching to nearly five minutes (though it feels much longer; I had to pause the song in the middle for a cigarette break). Yet again, Marshall is milking a single dowdy and dismal piano melody all the way through the tune. Which means that “Names” sounds exactly like “Maybe Not”, which means that it also sounds exactly like “I Don’t Blame You”, which means that I’m bored. Even the vocal performance is uninspired—this track evidently bores Chan Marshall, too.

“Half of You” is half a song, more of an interlude than a lude. At least it’s pretty. It’s got drums, too. Actually, just one drum, resounding over the soft acoustic flutter like rolling thunder, or like a heartbeat, maybe. Similes.

Hey! The intro to “Keep On Runnin’ ” sort of reminds me of a slower rendering of the intro to Metallica’s “The Unforgiven”. Now, that’s a killer song. Kirk Hammett’s climactic solo on that number gives me goddamn chills. That dude’s one of the greatest lead guitarists ever, hands down. Metallica got all kinds of shit for making such a blatantly commercial record after cranking out four underground thrash classics in a row, but as far as I’m concerned, Metallica (more commonly known as “The Black Album”) is a truly remarkable piece of work that has aged splendidly. And not just the obvious tracks, either—give “My Friend of Misery” and “The God That Failed” another spin sometime soon; fucking fantastic stuff (“Don’t Tread on Me” still blows, though). That album also features the song “Of Wolf and Man”, which is about non-metaphorical werewolves (the lyrics don’t specify whether or not they’re depressed). Granted, “Of Wolf and Man” is kind of cheesy, but it’s still a solid cut with some excellent chugga-chugga riffing; in the pantheon of hard rock songs about lycanthropy, I’d rank it slightly higher than Ozzy Osbourne’s “Bark at the Moon” (which I have to assume is about metaphorical werewolves since actual werewolves howl at the moon rather than bark at it—though this distinction is somewhat puzzling since Ozzy had himself made-up like a non-metaphorical werewolf for the cover of the album and the song’s video). Anyway, The Black Album was a keystone disc for me that opened up a whole lot of sonic doors and proved to be a tantalizing viaduct to the more brutal metal I would soon become obsessed with. Since I heard “Enter Sandman” long before I heard “Fight Fire With Fire”, I wasn’t even cognizant that Metallica was toning down their sound—besides, I was too busy being floored by this aural juggernaut with walloping drums and an insanely cool riff progression to care (fun fact: “Sandman” was the very first song I learned to play on my very first guitar, a red Peavey Predator which I of course still have). Oh… “Keep On Runnin’ ” just ended. Shit, I wasn’t paying attention. It was… okay?

“Evolution” is a glaringly unsuitable title for a song that is practically identical to three other tracks on this disc. For all of their elemental equivalencies, “Evolution”, “Names”, “Maybe Not”, and “I Don’t Blame You” could have been recorded in a single sitting—hell, they could be alternate takes of the same tune which Chan Marshall simply superimposed different lyrics over. I’ve run out of clever ways to indicate when she’s playing the same plain melody ad nauseam for the entire song. Instead, I will merely note that “Evolution” features Marshall playing the same plain melody ad nauseam for the entire song. The best endorsement I can give this redundant ditty is that it marks the end of an album I have not enjoyed listening to very much.

So, there’s a really terrific EP buried amidst the hour-long straggle of detritus and tedium that comprises You Are Free, and there’s just enough testimony to support Chan Marshall’s classification as a worthy artist. However, I didn’t find the record “challenging” as much as I found it inconsistent and wearying. Marshall’s voice is sincerely magnificent, and I have no doubt she’s talented, but she seems to struggle with channeling her energies into songs which demonstrate both of those things at the same time. It’s possible she’s just one of those artists whose entire body of work needs to be absorbed to cultivate an inclusive appreciation—regardless, I have little desire to labor through five more Cat Power albums searching for a few additional tunes as good as the stronger tracks I’ve heard here. I highly doubt I will want to listen to You Are Free again for another 12 years, so I’m not sure there’s even a reason for me to keep my copy of it. Still, in the interest of thoroughness, I did replay the disc from start to finish while reading over what I’ve written here so far. End result: I’m still mostly meh about You Are Free, but now I’m totally in the mood to hear Metallica.          

I also ended up texting The Girl With the Neko Case Tote to ask her feelings on Cat Power; as I guessed, she is a fan. Interestingly, her estimation of Chan Marshall’s work is markedly similar to mine—she’s just far more forgiving than I am of the bouts of ennui between Chan’s intermittent bursts of excellence. She also informed me that Marshall’s history has been dogged by recurring struggles with alcoholism. This data probably should have caused me to reconsider the way I’ve been making light of her eccentric fitfulness in this piece, but instead it makes me wonder why her music isn’t more interesting when she has such an artistically-suitable vice to inspire her (I told you I was a dick sometimes). Deducing that booze is at the root of Cat Power’s gig cancellations and wildly uneven songwriting doesn’t necessarily make me enjoy her work any more or less—though her conduct does disqualify her from being an Elegantly-Wasted alcoholic and shift her more into the realm of a too-wasted-to-play alcoholic, which is a far less appealing breed to me.

Anyway, I asked my secret soul-mate’s permission to quote her response because it provided a nice balance to my own conclusions. This is what she typed:

“Here’s the thing with Cat Power tracks, they are either stunning… OR they’re… sort of eh matte mess because they sound half finished or undone or loose at the seams.”

This seemed to be right in line with Aaron’s assessment from 12 years earlier. Which makes me suspect that acknowledging Cat Power is terrible a lot of the time is an integral part of being a Cat Power fan. When I shared how unimpressed I was by Chan’s brand of prosaic, single-idea song-writing, she added:

“Baby listen, she’s drunk. And she’s Cat Power. So we forgive her and just stop listening to her songs for a while. Until I or we (Royal) become drunk and take her records off the shelf… And appreciate her humanity in all its stand-up and stumbling glory… She reminds us of someone we know, or someone we sometimes have been.”

The Girl With The Neko Case Tote may be onto something there. This entire installment has been crafted under the influence of mere coffee, so I might be missing the point because I’m missing a key ingredient of the Cat Power recipe. I wouldn’t be any kind of reporter if I didn’t pursue every possible avenue of our story here, which is why I’ve decided to do some field research: I have just opened a beer, and I’m going to proceed to get heavily intoxicated while listening to You Are Free one more time before I write the conclusion to this essay…

[a couple hours later] Okay, I’m drunk now and I played the disc again. Here’s what I found out: Ritual Brewing Company’s “Love & Malt” brown ale is mighty tasty. Still, the tunes I didn’t already enjoy on You Are Free only sound marginally better to me when I’m smashed—except for “I Don’t Blame You”, which sounds approximately 41% better. However, after I was done listening to Chan, I went ahead and cued up Metallica’s Black Album, and “Nothing Else Matters” sounds waaaaaaay better when I’m drunk  (“Don’t Tread on Me” still blows, though).

So now I’m loaded and I have no idea how to finish this piece (which, consequently, likely explains why many of the songs on You Are Free sound as slapdash and half-formed as they do). Reading back, I’m realizing this entry has been a rather vicious one. That’s not something I’ll necessarily apologize for—hey, I did my due diligence; I’ve listened to the record three times now, and by every objective criterion it’s more not-good than good. But after conscientiously ruminating on why the Cat Power apologue resonates as so uninviting to me, I think an explanation may have dawned on me: Chan Marshall is unstable, often disappointing, and she spent many years squandering her tremendous potential because of her self-destructive habits…

She does, indeed, remind me of “someone [I] sometimes have been.” And that evocation isn’t a particularly welcome one, because I’ve never liked that person a whole lot.

Goddamn. That’s a non-metaphorically depressing epiphany right there.

 November 28, 2015