#let me know if you ever remember what the intended purpose for the note was i’m fascinated gjfjj

[catty-words]

I have a note in my phone that was supposed to turn into a longer Tumblr post but for the LIFE of me I cannot remember what my point even was or why I thought it was a good idea. It just says “Ben & Devi both date Des???” 😂

totally unhinged, love it. i’m imagining ben - in retaliation for devi cheating on him - inserting himself into her monogamous relationship

[chimerical-daydreams]

Hiiiiii for that pre king wish au. Is Loop going to deal with the repercussions of Siffrin always drifting and never finding an anchor? He was just a traveller, moving forward day by day, with nothing new or exciting to live for... until he met the family :3 BUT NOT WITHOUT THE KING-

OK SO. i have Many Thoughts about this, so bare with me here.

Loop, having gone through the Same Two Days for so long they've lost count of time, has a complicated relation with predictability and stagnation. On one hand, if nothing changes, then they can just follow the script, and they'll know what to expect. On the other hand, they'd rather die than be stuck repeating the same lines over and over again, not after finally being freed. And now, by a twist of fate, they're face to face with the past version of the monster they were fighting so hard to defeat.

I think, at first, they stick around as a helpful "guiding figure" while they sort through their own feelings and decide if they're gonna kill this guy or not. After much deliberation and one failed murder attempt, they decide to let him be. Unfortunately for them, in this time they've grown attached to the sobbing wet cat of a man they were stuck with (the King is actually very similar to Siffrin in this AU, so he probably hits a soft spot within Loop, that remembers the horrible feeling of confusion when they first landed in Vaugarde).

After the emotional tumult settles, I think that King intends to go to Corbeaux as per cannon, and Loop (without any better things to do), follows. On the way there, though, they pass by Bambouche, and Loop is hit by the Dread as they watch a slightly younger Bonnie with their sister run by them without giving them a second glance (well, they do look their way, but with confusion and curiosity instead of recognition). That's when it hits Loop that no one in their family is ever going to meet each other because the disaster they bonded over never happens.

I'm still mulling over how I'm gonna make this happen, but I want Loop to put the gang back together with the King's help (maybe on the pretense of finding more about the forgotten nation?). Loop clings to this purpose like a goddamn lifeline, because otherwise, as you mentioned, they would just go back to wandering aimlessly, stumbling around in a land that is not theirs. They want their happy ending because, after All of This? They deserve it.

(On an addendum, there is also a Siffrin in this AU, back when they still kept his hair dyed black.)

(On a second note, I'm currently making those in-game character profiles for the ones who don't have them yet - Loop, King and Nille - so. Uh. There is more to come 👍)

[herstoryheaven]

Descendants Carlos de Vil x Reader: Dating Headcanons

Request: Hiii could you do a dating headcanons of Carlos De Vil? With female reader please.

Reader: Female

Word count: 907

Average reading time: 3 min 20 sec

Category: Fluff 

Warnings: None

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Disclaimer: All events portrayed in my stories are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual events is purely coincidental. Any actions or behaviours portrayed by the characters may differ from reality and cannot be connected to any actual person. This work is purely fictional and intended for entertainment purposes only.

Sweet Good Mornings: Carlos is always the first to text you in the morning. His messages are filled with sweet words like, "Good morning, love! I hope you have the best day today. I love you so much!" If you wake up together, he'll gently brush his lips against your forehead and whisper, "Morning, beautiful. Did you sleep well?"

Thoughtful Surprises: Carlos loves surprising you with little gifts and gestures. He'll hand you a bouquet of your favorite flowers, grinning as he says, "I saw these and thought of you." Sometimes, you'll find a handwritten note tucked into your bag with a simple, "Can't wait to see you later, my love." And when he plans a spontaneous date night, he’ll look into your eyes and say, "Go get ready love, I’m taking you out tonight."

Adventures with Dude: Carlos absolutely adores his dog, Dude, and loves including you in their adventures. As the three of you walk through the park, Carlos will toss a ball for Dude, then turn to you with a smile, "I think Dude loves you almost as much as I do." During cozy movie nights, Dude snuggled between you both, Carlos will chuckle, "Looks like moments with just us two will be a rare occasion."

Having His Hand On You: Carlos always needs to have his hand on you, whether it’s holding yours as you walk through Auradon Prep or resting it on your waist while exploring the Isle of the Lost. He’ll occasionally give you a gentle squeeze, whispering, "I need to know that you’re okay, I can’t have anything happen to you."

Supportive Partner: Carlos is your biggest cheerleader. When you're facing a tough challenge, he’ll sit beside you and say, "You’ve got this. I believe in you love." During stressful times, he’ll pull you into a hug, adding, "I’m here for you, no matter what."

Tech Savvy Gestures: Carlos loves using his tech skills to impress you. He’s built you a custom app that sends sweet notifications throughout the day. One might pop up saying, "Hey, remember that time we stayed up all night talking? Best night ever. I love you." He’ll grin as you read it, knowing it made your day.

Movie Nights: Movie nights with Carlos are always special. He sets up blankets and your favorite snacks, making sure everything is perfect. As you cuddle up together, he’ll whisper during the romantic scenes, "You want to try this too?" and you can feel the love in his voice.

Romantic Picnics: Carlos often plans romantic picnics under the stars. As you both lie down, gazing at the sky, he’ll turn to you and softly say, "I’m so grateful for you. Ever since I left the Isle you are the one thing I never want to lose." The sincerity in his voice makes every word feel like a treasure.

Dance Partner: Carlos is an amazing dancer, and he loves pulling you into spontaneous dance sessions. He’ll grab your hand in the middle of the room, twirl you around, and laugh, "Come on, dance with me. Let’s make the most of this moment." Even if it’s raining, he’ll spin you around and say, "Nothing can stop me from dancing with the love of my life."

Whipped and Proud: Carlos is completely whipped for you, and he’s not shy about showing it. He’ll proudly tell his friends, "I’m the luckiest guy in the world." and doesn’t hold back when it comes to public displays of affection. He’ll shower you with kisses, hug you tightly, and always say, "You’re everything to me."

Protective Nature: Despite his sweet demeanor, Carlos is fiercely protective of you. When someone crosses a line, he’ll step in without hesitation, saying, "Hey, back off. She’s with me." His protective nature makes you feel secure and cherished, knowing he’ll always be there for you.

Heartfelt Confessions: Carlos often expresses his feelings through heartfelt confessions. He’ll take your hands, look deeply into your eyes, and say, "You’ve changed my life in ways I never imagined. I can’t picture a future without you in it." The depth of his love is clear in every word.

Customized Gifts: Carlos loves creating customized gifts for you. When he hands you a personalized piece of jewelry, a dress or a tech gadget he designed, he’ll smile and say, "I made this just for you. I hope you like it." Sometimes, he’ll sheepishly admit, "I may have asked Evie for some help with the jewelry and dress, but it’s all made with you in mind."

Celebrating Milestones: Carlos never misses an opportunity to celebrate your milestones together. On your anniversaries or even the celebration of the day you first met, he’ll surprise you with something special. He’ll wrap you in a hug and say, "Here’s to us and all the amazing moments we’ve shared. I love you."

Unwavering Loyalty: Carlos’s loyalty to you is unwavering. He’s always there, putting you first and showing you how much he cares. He’ll reassure you, "I’m committed to you, and nothing will ever change that." His loyalty and dedication make your bond stronger every day.

Favorite Kisses: Carlos has a special way of showing affection, he loves kissing you behind your ear. Whenever he leans in to place a soft kiss there, he’ll whisper, "I love you." making you feel cherished and adored. Whether you’re happy, sad, or just relaxing, those kisses are his favorite way of saying he cares.

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Copyright: All stories contained herein are the intellectual property of the author. Unauthorized copying, reproduction, or distribution of these stories, in whole or in part, without explicit written permission from the author, is strictly prohibited and may result in legal action. Respect the creator's rights and creativity. For permissions or inquiries, please contact: herstoryheaven@gmail.com.

Request Guidelines: When submitting a request, please ensure that your request does not contain any explicit sexual content or graphic depictions, and avoid any form of extreme violence or graphic descriptions of violent acts. I appreciate your understanding and cooperation in maintaining a respectful and inclusive environment for all readers. If you're unsure about your request or want to request about someone I haven't written about yet, feel free to ask me anytime.

Requested by: Anonymous

[army93bangya]

The Moon Goddess's Chosen | Chapter 4| MYG [M]

*Chapter 4

*Summary: Y/N wakes up disoriented in unfamiliar surroundings, what is going to happen to her now that she has been taken from her father? What will Alpha Min do to her now that she is in his grasp?

*Genre/Rating: Mature, 18+, Werewolf/Fated mates, eventual smut? 🤔🤷🏻‍♀️

*Warnings/Potential Triggers: Talks Child of Abuse, Abuse, Non-con Touching, Non-con Confinement, Angst, Mistreatment, Being Detained, Anxiety, Nervousness, Mention of Murder, Mention of plotting Murder, Reader is going thru it, Confrontation, Slight mention of Rape, Poisoning, Possible future Smut,….more to be added in future chapters.

*Disclaimer: This work was written and owned by Army93bangya and there is no consent for anyone else to post it as theirs, this story is intended for entertainment purposes only, this story is a work of fantasy, seems a bit ridiculous to say but I do not own or have rights to BTS or the members and the characters in this story are a fictional interpretation of members. Wolfsbane is an actual poison and there truly is no cure. DO NOT EVER INGEST WOLFBANE!

*Words: 5060

*Notes: Well...here we are.. I don't even know what to say. Currently this story is slow burn, but I am just kind of going with the flow when writing it so that could change. Jimin is an absolute sweetheart! Don't come for Y/N her trust issues are real with good reason. I did a tiny amount of research on herbs and wanted something somewhat realistic in the story for a medicine to help with her poisoning. Khella is a real herb that is native to certain parts of the Mediterranean and Asia and can be used medicinally for heart ailments. I will leave a link with an article I read for the purpose of this story. As always thank you so much for reading and please leave me a comment telling me what you think so far! :)

7 Health Benefits of Khella - Healthy Focus

Previous Chapter ------ Next Chapter

You're comfortable. That's the first thing you register when you start to regain consciousness. Maddie must have found more padding and blankets for your bed, she is such an amazing friend. UGH your body and head both ache with the aftermath of the wolfsbane, feels like you drank a ton of wine and are now hungover, only worse. Did you faint? Did Darius carry you to your be- Wait! As your mind starts to catch up you remember the gathering, Maddie mated and led away, your own mate connection made to Alpha Min, the words spoken, Alpha Mins words in particular being a great concern, Darius’s futile attack, the beta that had you and…and…he lifted you into his arms. Your father was bested. No no no no! This can not be happening! 

Your eyes are heavy but you manage to open them and take in your surroundings. Letting out a breath of relief to find that you are currently alone, But it is overly obvious that this isn't your bedroom, or your tent at camp. You're snuggled into a massive pile of blankets and furs on a platform of some kind about a foot off the ground. The bed you are in is situated at the far left corner of this huge tent with a chair positioned right next to it. In front of you to the left of the entrance is a couple decent size baskets and a big chest. A modest fire pit is set up at the center of the tent with its embers currently banked, two stoops stand upright for sitting outside of a stone barrier that circles the pit. The front right corner is blocked off by a couple partitions and in the back right corner of the tent is a large long table with benches set up on both sides that look like they could fit four people on each bench, a chair sits at the head of the table facing the entire tent. A tent this size with such furniture inside for a temporary encampment can only mean one thing. This is the alphas tent, You’re in Alpha Mins tent…in his bed.

Don't Panic! You can't freak out right now, need to think. You don't know how long you will be alone in this tent so it's best to use what time you have to reflect on everything that has happened, and come up with the best course of action. What do you do? With everything you have heard about this pack and your fated mate, it would be unwise to think you will be treated with any type of kindness, you're not that dense. Alpha Min could come through that entrance at any second, he is unpredictable and almost completely unreadable. He might come in and hurt you or force himself on you. No you can't stay, so that leaves you with two options. Either you stick around and try to placate Alpha Min into believing you want to be his mate, maybe he won't hurt you if you are compliant. You would just have to wait and hope that your father can successfully retrieve you. It is not the best option, and you REALLY don't want to go back to your father and Darius either, but it is the better option as it is more likely to be a successful outcome. 

The alternative would be to find Maddie and attempt an escape. You can not run and leave Maddie to this fate, no you would have to find her in this camp first. But where would you even go? Two she wolves on the run are a massive target to both rogues and packs. And it would be foolish to try to seek refuge with any pack. There would be too many questions that would need to be answered before a pack would take you in. Not to mention packs that provide sanctuary to outsiders are the first places your father and Alpha Min would look. No you would have to go rogue and find unclaimed territory to hide in, somewhere far away. That is if you could even succeed in the impossible feat of escaping. 

You would need to inspect the complete layout of the Bangtan camp, find the best spot to sneak out of here while observing for the best possible moment as well. Locating Maddie is a top priority and you are hopeful that you would be allowed to speak to her alone. It is most likely that Alpha Min will keep you under guard, so being able to get away from your keeper is something you have to take into account too. But perhaps the biggest difficulty with this plan is Alpha Min himself. Taking everything he disclosed at the gathering and assessing it you know he will be your largest obstacle. For reasons unknown to you, he wants you, and you don't take him for a wolf that rolls over and accepts defeat. With his heightened senses it will be near impossible to get away from him undetected. And with him being your mate he will be able to pick up your scent easily. So if you are successful in fleeing undetected the next challenge would be being able to evade him till you get a far enough distance. With so many unknown variables it would be next to impossible to escape. Basically both options are awful, uncertain, and unfavorable. 

You're doomed. And you really need to relieve yourself. You glance at the entrance and instantly anxiety saturates you completely. You can do this, laying here is not going to accomplish anything, you have to do this. Besides, if you urinate in Alpha Min's bed that probably won't endear you to him at all, and the thought of being in his bed when he comes back is an immediate motivator to find your courage. Slowly you lift up into a sitting position, the dress that you wore to the gathering is still on your body so that somewhat soothes you. You find your shoes positioned neatly by the bed, removing the blankets from your body and sliding your legs off the bed you grab the sandals and strap them to your feet. You yearn to be able to just shift to wolf form and go relieve yourself easily, maybe explore without having to speak to anyone. But your father only let you shift when necessary, when the itch to do so became too much. He did not like you being in wolf form so you're not about to do so here without approval first. You need to be compliant, obedient so that with luck your time here will be as painless as possible. 

You let out a groan as you stand, your body feels stiff and everything aches. Surprisingly though you don't feel quite as sore as you usually do coming off of wolfsbane and that gives you pause. You get a flicker of a foggy memory, being held up in a sitting position and having liquid coaxed down your throat. Huh. They weren't lying about the healer it seems. You are used to the wolfsbane running its course through your system and it is usually about a week before you are feeling back to normal. They must have given you Khella tea. While there is no cure for wolfsbane, Khella is known to aid in ridding the body of the toxin quicker thus speeding up recovery time. Judging on how you currently feel and if they give you more Khella tea, you will probably be fully recovered in about three to four days instead of your regular seven to eight days. But until then you will bear the discomfort as you always have and face the outside of this tent. 

It is bright when you first step outside, you squint your eyes and give them a moment to adjust before taking in your surroundings. Alpha Min's tent seems to be at the back of the camp as there is a big open area in front of you with a communal fire in the center for cooking and heating water. There are several tents on both sides of the area left open for the pack to congregate. “LUNA!” your eyes shoot towards the loud exclaim to take in a man briskly approaching you. On instinct you take a step back closer to the tent you just came out of and he instantly stops a few feet from you. Oh. You recognize him. It's the beta that came to you after Darius released you, the one who still seems to be calling you Luna. Funny he looks about as nervous as you feel. “Luna, you should not be out of bed in your condition. I was just coming to check on you. I am so happy you are awake but we should really get you back into bed to rest.” Before you can be concerned by his words, he gives you a boyish smile and visibly softens his entire demeanor completely contradictory to everything you have heard so far about the wolves in this pack.

Even though he seems genuine with his caring demeanor and sweet smile you know better than to be led into a false sense of security and let your guard down. No matter how endearing he looks right now. But for your own well being you will play along to this facade you seem to have walked into. You try to appear more at ease before answering him. “I'm sorry, I didn't know I was not supposed to leave the bed, but I really have an urgent matter to attend to.” You give him a pointed look and his eyes widen and he starts garbling words before being able to actually respond. “Ofcourse Luna! let me guide you to an area to take care of that!” He turns to look at the two other men he seemed to be talking to before identifying your presence and bolting to you. “Can you guys go find Alpha and let him know that his mate is awake?” They both incline their heads and walk away to perform the task given to them. You hope it takes them a very long time to find him.

The beta promptly turns back to you, gives you a sheepish look, and raises his arm to show you what direction to take. You start slowly walking and he instantly falls into step with you hovering an arm behind you like he wants to wrap it around you or is worried you will fall. “How do you feel?” You had been trying to analyze the area and layout of the camp as much as possible when his soft question came out. “Better with some sleep. Thank you.” There, polite and short. He shoots you a concerned look and continues to inspect you like he is worried you are going to keel over and die on him right here and now. Regardless if he is putting on a show for you or not, his jumpy fretting exterior is humorous to you. It is like he is scared of YOU. The thought is amusing and you can not help the slight upturn of your mouth, the subtle softening of your features. 

The change in your gaze seems to be the balm he needs, because he immediately becomes more at ease and begins to cheerfully engage you in conversation. “It is such a relief to know you are feeling better! We were all extremely worried about you, Yoongi was very distressed with your condition. It is not often any of us see him in such an agitated state anymore, he is an expert at masking his emotions. Oh! My name is Jimin by the way, I apologize for not introducing myself sooner but it definitely didn't seem like the right time.” Jimin lets out a nervous laugh. You think back to your first contact with him, how gentle he was with you, how he tried to soothe you. Dammit! He seems so kind and endearing you have to remind yourself letting your guard down would be detrimental to you. Dread passes through you when his words about Alpha Min being agitated registers. Does this alpha get violent when upset? You will have to be extremely observant around him, cooperate entirely so that hopefully his anger will not be directed towards you.

You are almost to a secluded wooded area that Jimin is leading you towards. You decide then that he seems safe enough to talk with, while discreetly attempting to gather some information from. Also it would only be polite if you provide him with your name as well, and it would be a plus if he stopped calling you by the title of an alphas mate. “My name is Y/N. I wanted to thank you for helping me at the gathering. If you don't mind me asking, where is Alpha Min now?” He studies you for a second, but not in a bad way. Instead it is like he is checking to see if you are upset about the alphas absence before responding. “Your mate has been by your side as much as he can, but as the alpha he knows it is also his job to keep his pack safe. He left earlier to run our camp's perimeter and personally receive updates from all the wolves acting as sentries to the borders he has set. Don’t worry Luna, I'm sure as soon as he hears you are awake he will finish quickly and return to you.”

Just as he finishes speaking you reach the outline of trees, saved from having to respond to everything that is expelled out of Jimin's mouth. You’re gonna need some time to mull over his words and all of the implications before coming up with another question that doesn't sound too intrusive. Jimin follows you into the woods, he makes an excuse that you are still recovering and he needs to make sure you are safe, but it just confirms that you were right in your assumption earlier. It looks like you will indeed be kept under constant watch. He does however move a few paces away before giving you his back. So Alpha Min has put precautions in place and is monitoring the area his pack has made camp. Even in neutral territory where there is supposed to be no attacks or acts of violence outside of simple mate disputes, he is taking strategic defensive steps in case your father decides to try something. It is a wise decision, you wouldn't put it past your father to have already met with his betas and concocted a plan. 

Doing your business quickly you make your way back to Jimin and stop by his side. He starts to analyze you from head to toe as soon as his body is turned towards you. “Let's get you back to camp and back in bed so that Yoongi doesn't have my head. Okay Luna?” You freeze staring at him but he has a slightly playful look on his face that says he is joking and you turn to start walking, before he can comment on your panicked flash change in body language. Still so weak from the wolfbane, and the exhaustion of all the emotional turmoil you have been put through so recently, this simple walk has you feeling completely drained and pushing yourself to make it back to where you apparently were supposed to stay. Breath coming out labored you are almost out of the trees and back to the clearing of the camp when you sway and your body starts to give out. Stumbling you hear Jimin curse through the slight ringing in your ears, he catches you before you completely lose balance and once again you are hoisted into the betas arms. Jimin is now carrying you and walking at a fast pace towards the camp. The thought of being carried by the beta into camp leaves you feeling both ashamed and weak for all the eyes of this pack to see. “I can walk on my own, I just need to catch my breath for a second.”

Jimin stops walking and angles his head to look you in the eye. “Please let me do this for you Luna. You still have wolfsbane in your system, I can not imagine the kind of pain you are in or how exhausted you must feel. Your mate has asked me to watch over you, to protect you while he is not here. I will do anything and everything to make sure that you are taken care of until he returns.” You lower your gaze to your hands that are resting in your lap out of learned behavior. He must take your silence as acceptance because he starts his fast walk back to camp. “Why do you call me that?” he doesn't falter in steps but he does shoot his head down to look at you in confusion. “What?” “Luna. Why do you call me Luna?” Jimin looks away but you can see him smiling. “Because that's what you are. Even without my Alphas mark, you are his mate and Bangtans Luna. But we also know you are so much more than that arent you?” 

He is gazing at you again with such a warm bright look that you have to turn your head away to escape it. Instead you look to see that you are almost back to the Bangtan camp and begin to feel the anxiety creep in. “Please put me down before we make it back to the camp.” Jimin is silent for a few seconds, seeming to be mulling over your request. Then he is looking at you again and listening to your breathing which has settled back down. “If you let me continue to offer you support and help you back to your tent I will let you back on your feet.” Did he really just give you a compromise for walking on your own two feet or being carried?! You let out a slight snort of exasperation before nodding your head in agreement. He grins and shoots you a look raising his eyebrows that says he also finds you somewhat exasperating as well. His playfulness puts a simple quick smile on your face before you are gazing towards your destination again. 

Jimin puts you down when you are but a few paces from the closest tent and puts his arm around your waist to take some of your weight while you walk back to camp. His hold is firm but extremely gentle compared to Darius’s painful grip that you're sure left a bruise you haven't been able to examine yet. You give him a look that says this is unnecessary, but he just gives you a somewhat stern one back and you decide not to argue. Making your way back to Alpha Min’s tent there are more people out and moving about the camp than before. People are looking at you and staring with looks that can only be recognized as admiration. Some even go so far as to bow their heads to you and Jimin as you walk past. It makes you extremely uncomfortable and confused, you do not meet anyone's gaze after that. You begin to contemplate what this pack thinks it is you can do for them that has them so thrilled to see you. That overwhelming dread is back, what will Alpha Min and this pack do to you when they find out you do not have complete control over your gifts and try not to use them when you are able and not fighting wolfsbane poisoning.

You make it back to the open area between tents with the fire and an older woman with the marks of a healer makes a beeline for you. "There you are! Jimin! Why did you take her out of bed? I wasn't gone that long but imagine my panic when I came back to find her missing! almost sounded an alarm!" You watch with wide eyes as the irked woman rants at Jimin and smacks him on the arm not wrapped around you. "Kit she had to relieve herself! What was I supposed ---" The betas words become background as a knowing sense shoots down your spine and you turn your head feeling the drawing of the mate connection right when Alpha Min and 2 of his other betas come into view between tents making their way into the open area. He stops walking when his eyes immediately snap to yours most likely feeling the pull as well. Alpha Min looks directly into your eyes for only a few seconds before taking in your position leaning heavily on his beta, his face tightens and you see his jaw clench. You start to panic when he starts advancing straight towards you with a pissed off look on his face. In flight mode you begin attempting to get out of Jimin's grasp so you can try to escape the alphas sudden wrath but freeze when Alpha Min lets out an impressive growl before he is suddenly upon you scooping you into his arms. Startled, your arms act on their own and fling themselves over both of the alphas shoulders so that you can grip him for purchase. He doesn't even halt his movements when he lifts you, continuing straight to his tent. 

Once back where you started the alpha goes straight to his bed placing you upon it. He places a knee on the bed and begins to reach his hand toward you. On instinct you start attempting to backpedal away from him. Alpha Min puts his hand down and straightens his body. Maybe he wasn't as stoic as you believed because he is giving you a bewildered look, almost stunned even, like he can't believe you are frightened of him. “You do not need to be fearful of me. I will never purposefully hurt you. No one in this entire pack is going to hurt you. You are safe here, with me.” Eyes wide you just stare at him, unable to process thoughts enough to respond. What would you even say? That you don't believe him at all? Shit your plan was to be compliant and you are already fucking it up! He places his bent leg back on the ground before crouching down so it is not to seem like he is towering over you. The alpha just stares at you with a blank look. Not in a bad way but like he is patiently giving you time to calm down and talk to him. 

Your terror and panic greatly decreases seeing him with a calmer exterior, and you are saved from having to collect yourself and come up with an amicable reply when the healer's voice breaks through the stare off you both seem to be having. “Alpha may we enter?” Alpha Min turns his head to the entrance before straightening back to his full height and turning to face the entrance. “Yes.” Although his back is now to you he does not move from the bedside. If you were naive and mate-struck then his placement in front of you would seem more of a protective stance. Heck maybe it is in a possessive way. The healer, Jimin, and the two betas that were just at their alphas side all enter the tent. Both the betas, unknown to you, perch on stumps near the fire facing their alpha while the healer starts to make her way to you completely disregarding Alpha Min as she passes him. Jimin stands a few feet in front of his leader looking very twitchy. Focused on the alpha and his endearing beta you startle when you feel a hand placed on your shoulder, sucking in a quick inhale of breath and causing all eyes in the room to snap to you. Alpha Min is facing you again, eyes flitting between your face and the hand on your shoulder. 

“I'm sorry Luna, I didn't mean to startle you. My name is Kit, I am one of Bangtans healers. I would like to take a look at you and ask some questions if that is okay?” Your eyes flit between the alpha and his once again blank expression to the healer before giving her a nod of affirmation before looking down at your hands held together in your lap. You feel Kit reach for your neck gently to feel your pulse before hearing someone clear their throat prompting you to look back up at the alpha and his betas. “Luna woke up and had to relieve herself. We had just made it back to camp.” You feel embarrassment at Jimin discussing your need to piss with multiple ears in the room. Alpha Min sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Jimin, you could have gotten a bucket for her so that she did not have to strain herself walking into the woods. She still has wolfsbane in her system and needs rest, not to mention I don’t like the idea of you two on the outskirts of camp while I am still trying to determine the threat level we could possibly be facing.” Jimin lowers his head to stare at his feet in submission. “I’m sorry alpha, I will not fuck up again.”

You want to say something to defend Jimin, he did nothing wrong and has been nothing but kind towards you….so far. Curse your soft heart. “Luna, your pulse is elevated and your fever is spiking again. I’m going to make you some more Khella tea. How much pain are you experiencing?” Welp all eyes are back on you again and you almost want to die at having your anxiety ridden heart rate being announced in front of these wolves. Alpha Mins eyes are back on you, his form is tense, fist clenched. You don't want to say the wrong thing and make him even more angry so you settle with a quiet ‘I’m fine’. Kit huffs at you seemingly exasperated. “Luna please don't put on a brave face and be dishonest with me. I know a extensive amount about wolfsbane poisoning and how much pain it causes to radiate throughout the body.” You don't know what to do or how to respond, on one hand you are afraid to say the wrong thing and make this alpha mad, but looking at this healer you know she isn't gonna let you get by with short feeble answers.”The pain is there but bearable, the Khella tea is helping and should shorten the recovery time. I usually just have to sleep it off and that typically takes seven to eight days.”

Kits face has taken on shock and the entire tent is eerily quiet before Alpha Min breaks the silence. “What do you mean you usually have to sleep it off?” His voice comes out in an almost growl and you visibly flinch. The alpha takes a small step back and the look on his face can not be mistaken. He is upset and you are wondering what you said wrong. “I’m sorry Alpha Min I should have explained better. When I have wolfsbane in my system it typically takes me seven to eight days to recover with rest. I have built up a slight tolerance to the poison though and this was a smaller dose so I may recover quicker. Well I will recover faster with the Khella tea regardless.” The alpha takes on a stoic expression and slowly approaches you. You stay still this time when he crouches next to the bed, his eyes stay on your face as he slowly raises his hand to rest on yours in your lap. The current of the mate bond flows through the both of you. His touch proves to be the remedy your heart needs to slow and your entire body to calm. “How many times have you been poisoned with wolfsbane?” His voice is soft when he asks and he maintains a calm exterior, like he is cautious not to frighten you. You don't know what to make of his eyes though. They look pained. Like he is the one hurting from poison and not you. It leaves you feeling flustered and so unsure that you stutter your response. “ I-I’m not sure. I never really thought to count.” You drop your eyes back to your lap. Looking at his hand gently resting on top of yours, he gives a tiny squeeze prompting you to meet his eyes again.

Jimin takes a step forward breaking the trance you two seemed to be in when you glance at him. He looks tormented. Like it was his fault you were poisoned. It is all too much, you feel stripped and vulnerable all of a sudden. Not to mention extremely confused and conflicted with the way they are acting towards you. Kit seems to pick up on this placing a calming hand on your upper back. “Alpha, a hot bath would help alleviate some of the pain in your mate's body as well as her fever.” Alpha Min looks at her and then back at you before nodding, removing his hand from yours, and standing to address his betas. “Kook. Jimin. come with me to have water heated and walk the camp, Hoseok will you stay here?” The muscled up beta simply stands and starts walking to the entrance while the other gives a bright grin before nodding. Jimin shoots you a small smile and follows muscle-beta out of the tent. The healer huffs and mumbles something about ‘overprotective’ but that's all you get from your spot next to her. The Alpha moves to the right corner moving the partitions aside to reveal a tub before turning to look at you one last time and waltzing out of the tent. You clench your hands together feeling bereft with the alphas exit, his warm hand no longer holding yours. That frustrates you even more because it feels like your body is betraying you. He is dangerous and unknown, and when he is near his scent and presence intoxicates you to the point you want to rub yourself all over him until you're drenched in his scent and warmth. Yep. You're screwed.

[mcntsee]

deer y/n,

Summary: First part of letters to her. I recommend reading the prologue first.

Warnings: Ooc Kaz Brekker, I think one cuss word, terrible writing.

Note: Here it is! First part of the letters to her series. This is super short, I was struggling to figure out what to write for this letter, but I promise the rest are better. I am also trying a new writing style. Enjoy!

* ੈ✩‧��˚

“Oh my.”

“What is it?”

Y/n managed to misplace her necklace—yet again—turning what was supposed to be a delightful date into a search mission for the elusive piece of jewelry.

Kaz was grateful she had agreed to getting some food and dining in. The past week had been a whirlwind of meetings with everyone in the forsaken city, leaving him overwhelmed. He'd endured an excessive amount of handshakes, enough to last a year, maybe three.

But Y/n understood. After all, she had been by his side since he could remember, never passing judgment on him for anything.

"Love?" He called out again. Kaz despised the silence. It could only mean two things: something good or something really bad.

“Y/n?” Usually, he was the type to lean towards options that gave him more than a fifty-fifty chance.

“Y/n!”

“Yes! Sorry I just-“

He found her in the dining room. “What is it?” As he approached, he noticed she was holding something in her hand. However, before he even had the chance to ask about it, she turned, fully facing him with her hand extended out.

"This," she said, glancing at what Kaz now recognized as an aged letter, "happens to be the first letter you ever wrote me."

She cleared her throat, preparing to read the letter to him.

“Deer Y/n,”

“For fuck’s sake.”

Kaz remembered that day with as much clarity as he remembered his lunch from a couple of hours ago.

It hadn't been anything out of the ordinary, no. Yet, he remembered it nonetheless.

“What is the matter with you?”

"Deer." He pointed at the word that was meant to be 'dear'. "Are you not reading?"

“I am and I’m well aware of the fact that is says deer. Once again, what’s the matter with you?”

“Can you put it away, it’s embarrassing.”

“Kaz, you were five.”

He had indeed been five, and apparently, not the brightest when it came to spelling. However, he laid the blame on his dad, who assured him it had looked good enough to send.

“How do you even have that still?”

“I could never lose it.”

“It’s just a letter, Y/n.”

“The first letter I ever got from you.” She corrected.

“It’s still just a letter, Y/n.”

“Whatever Kaz. It’s my most priced possession.”

He could tell she intended to keep reading the letter, but as her mouth open to let out the words, he noticed a mischievous glint in her eye.

“That and the drawing, of course.”

“The drawing?”

“The drawing.”

Kaz really had thought that it couldn’t get worse. Of course he hadn’t needed her to read the letter for him, so he had more than enough time to realize just how bad his grammar had once been.

But then, she decided to turn back around to grab the drawning and show him.

“I miss spots.” she said. In truth, he shared that sentiment. Spots had been his first and only pet.

He had entertained the idea of getting another pet with her. Perhaps another feline, or a loyal canine. Maybe even a crow. A replacement for the family he knew he couldn’t provide to her. “He was a great cat.”

“Indeed. He had to put up with you everyday.”

“I-, You know what? Same goes for you.”

That laugh. He was convinced that her laughter was the only force capable of resurrecting him from death. That and her eyes, of course, especially when they sparkled with mischievousness.

“Wait! Look,” Before he had a chance to see what she was pointing at, she covered the letter with her hand, completely defeating the purpose of asking someone to look.

“I am trying.”

"No, wait. Before I show you, you know how you always ask why I always sign: Love, my name, and then an exclamation mark with a heart instead of a dot?"

If he was honest, the question about her peculiar signature had crossed his mind only a couple of times. However, with the letter concealed and her mischievous grin, he wondered if uncovering the reason was a journey worth embarking on. “Mhmm...”

“Look!” She said while pointing at Kaz’s - or, well, five year old kaz’s signature. “Look, look, look, look, look.” Kaz couldn’t help but smile at her excitement, but he still couldn’t fathom why she was making such a fuss over his childhood attempt at penmanship. “Sweetheart, I am looking.”

There it was, his old signature in all its glory, proudly proclaiming, "Love, Kaz!"

[saarovar]

Hihi I have a question!! How would you rate the travelers’ ability to sing (both games :D) from worst to best?

Hiiiii!!!! :D This is going to be LONG. But I have thoughts again so I will answer it now! :D I'm going to group them within just rankings as well, kind of like tierlists but for... people like me who do not know how to make tierlists. (Oh and Crick is included because I like Crick don't mind me. :3) Here we go! (SEE REBLOGS FOR THE REST I LITERALLY BROKE TUMBLR'S CHARACTER LIMIT AND IT WON'T LET ME POST IN ONE THING)

TERRIBLE: #17: Cyrus Canonically, he cannot sing, referring to singing as "his weakness" in his banter with Olberic and Tressa. Maybe vocal lessons would help, but he'd need to find a teacher who knows what they're doing. He's the type who likes to learn EVERYTHING, so I can't imagine him just not caring and brushing it off. I think he just doesn't know how -- he can probably pick up on the relative pitch of all the notes, but can't translate what he's hearing into stuff to do with his own voice; he probably has NO idea where his range is and frequently tries to hit notes too high for him; he can do falsetto but can't really control it well; and he kind of just decides he's going to try to hit a high note now when THE SONG DOESN'T GO THAT WAY PROFESSOR. #16: Partitio Also kind of canonically. If I remember correctly he was kicked out of the tavern or something when he tried to imitate what Agnea does and sing to cheer people's spirits. I feel like he has NO concept of where the notes are other than "that high note is higher than that low note," so Cyrus actually has a better ear than him, but at least Partitio doesn't try to hit quite as many high notes. Partitio also doesn't really know how to do falsetto, and just sings louder to try to hit higher notes (which does not work as well as he thinks it does). #15: Ochette Well... she's great at howling... if that's what you're looking for. I think she thinks that "the louder you are, the better you must be at singing" and that is exactly how she functions. She doesn't know what she's doing at all, she's just having fun... much to everyone else's chagrin. The good news? She generally doesn't try singing unprompted. The bad news? She WILL join in if someone else is singing. The party often ends up with mysterious headaches coincidentally soon after a duet between Ochette and Partitio, which also happens more frequently than it has any right to. #14: Throne She's bad. She knows she's bad. She won't sing for anyone no matter how much Agnea tries to encourage her to join in when the party is entertaining themselves on the trail or during "karaoke night" (or whatever the hell they have in Octo-universe) in the tavern. She's completely tone-deaf AND she's anxious about performing, so if she were to try it would be a lot of trailing off and shaky words that are kiiiiiiind of close to the intended note if you squint. She can't go into falsetto at all... no one knows if she CAN'T or if she just ends up too quiet for it to work whenever she tries. Also she has managed to "harmonise" with Temenos in tritones before and has no idea if she's actually that bad or if he did that on purpose.

BAD: #13: Osvald Never tried to sing in his life. I don't know what happened to actually manage to get him to sing for this particular scenario, maybe he was mind-controlled or something, but when he sings it... doesn't hurt anyone's ears? But he's incredibly monotone, only drifting the tiniest bit above or below his default voice if he decides the note is higher or lower -- it's more monotonous than if he were just talking, honestly. He doesn't insert any emotion at all, and if there ever came a time when he "sang" emotionally it's because he overheard someone say something that sounded kind of like Harvey's name and he got distracted. He would never do a duet with anyone, and honestly no one wants to try singing with him (he'd throw them off so bad).

#12: Tressa She doesn't sing to be "good," she sings for the fun of it. Loudly. But at least she's kind of close to the notes she's trying to hit for the most part, though there are plenty of times when she'll try to go for a note WAY out of her range and fail spectacularly. She's another one who tries to sing louder to hit higher notes, though she probably COULD do falsetto with someone to teach her how, she just hasn't figured that out yet. She and Alfyn have a blast doing duets, and the rest of the party (sans Therion) doesn't mind her being off-key, they just are happy she's having a good time. #11: H'aanit She's another "I don't want to do it don't make me" anxious one. When she tries, she's bad at it, but it's more the "never tried to sing before" bad than anything else. She's closer to the actual notes than Throne would be, but her voice wavers a lot and she ends up drifting away from the intended notes even when she might initially hit them. She won't try hitting high notes, and she won't try falsetto. She gets more comfortable if someone sings with her though, and (if the other person is good) she might be able to match their notes on occasion.

MEDIOCRE: #10: Olberic He's not really comfortable singing in front of other people, and feels like he needs to practice a lot to get good at it. If he doesn't know a song well, he'll pick the parts he does know and sing those ones (kind of like when there's a song that comes on in the car that you kind of know so you sing along to the chorus), but mostly mumbles or is quiet through the rest of it. Or he might just sing the chorus and say that's the song, that also works. He does have that one song that he knows really well that he will sing if prompted (probably learned and sang with the other knights of Hornburg), but that's going to get old really fast... but the first couple times he did it were really good! #9: Castti She doesn't really sing, she just... doesn't have the time... yeah, that's it. Too busy going around treating all the headaches the rest of the party have accumulated from the last Ochette/Partitio song... because that is very, very important work, what if they get sicker if she doesn't treat them? Okay, okay, more seriously, she's just another person not comfortable with trying, because she worries she'll be bad at it. She definitely hasn't had any practice or anything, and that's obvious if she were to try by herself, but she actually CAN do falsetto and can control it pretty well, though she might not be exactly perfectly on tune all the time. She's able to follow what other people are doing if someone else sings with her, and actually sounds pretty good if she has Agnea or someone to guide her, but she can't pull off the same level of skill on her own... but the fact that she can do it with others means she might be able to eventually! #8: Primrose She dances, she doesn't sing. She knows she's not an expert at singing, too, and she doesn't try doing it in front of people because she thinks it will ruin the dance. She does practice her dancing while singing (or humming) the song she'll be dancing to though, and it sounds on-tune "enough" to her when she's doing it. But it's always really clear when comparing her singing with the actual song that she's a little off, and if she were to hum the song to others they'd never be able to tell what song it is. If she ever were to sing in front of people, it would be alongside her dancing, so there might be a lot of pauses in weird places because she's having trouble multitasking and finding where her next step is going to be at the same time as remembering what the next word is (she'd get better at that if she seriously practiced both singing and dancing for a show though). #7: Crick He might be good if he practiced and were more confident in himself, but as it is he can never seem to get a song right and it frustrates him. When singing to himself he's actually better than he thinks he is, and can hit almost every note without thinking. When singing in front of people though he freaks out -- his voice gets super wavery and he can't hit any of the notes right, when he tries to go into falsetto his voice cracks and doesn't work, and he keeps forgetting the words. He's "good" but with a missing ingredient (confidence)... or he's "good" if you subtract an ingredient (other knights and/or inquisitors watching him), but as it is now he's stuck in mediocre category.

#6: Alfyn He's... kind of good, kind of bad. It really depends on the song and how drunk he is at the time. He loves singing alongside the other party members, and he'll always be really encouraging to those that aren't as comfortable with it (without pressuring them too much), so a lot of times when he sings he's joining someone else, trying to heighten the mood, or starting something off for one of the more nervous people. He can do falsetto, but he doesn't know where his range is, and if something is too low or too high he WILL try to hit it anyway and sound bad, but he has managed to get some songs down perfectly if they're right in the perfect point of his range.

[bonefall]

I know you like Nightheart, but what about NightSun? I think you've brought up the issues with Nightheart X Sunbeam before, but I don't remember if it was a dedicated post or not.

Ok so like, to understand why I do not like NightSun, it's important to know why I like Nightheart.

I like Nightheart as a young, arrogant person who is the cause of many of his own problems in life. He doesn't mean to be the way he is, but it's as if everything he says comes out twice as mean as he wants it to, and the first of every thought is the worst one. While he resents the legacy of Firestar that he's part of, it also FRUSTRATES him that he isn't treated like the prodigal little hero he feels like he is.

It's an inferiority complex and a superiority complex, but he doesn't know that. He's intelligent, but he isn't wise. So he grabs at all these different complaints; "Why does no one see me for my own achievements?? I can't be what you want me to be. Let me prove myself! No, not like that, I'm not a child I'm a warrior!! Who do you think I am? Who do you think YOU are?! Why is everyone being so mean to me!?"

So, what I LIKE about ASC is watching him make messes, as he thrashes around to get loose and only ends up tangling himself even further into his troubles. He's fun when he's making shortsighted choices that should be ruining his relationships and putting himself in danger. What I DON'T like about ASC is that "fuck around" never becomes "find out."

I would have liked NightSun a lot if it was a story about how Sunbeam's complacent, conflict-avoidant personality crashed into Nightheart's self-absorbed, passionate nature like pop rocks and coke. They feel like such a unique, compelling sort of toxic to me. I LOVE the way that Sunbeam just immediately allowed Nightheart into her Clan, just straightup ignoring the red flags. I liked the way that Nightheart responded to his problems by running away from home, POSITIVE that his Tigerkin would treat him better than his Firekin.

Unfortunately, it seems like they're playing it straight. Nightheart left her ass alone THREE times when she asked him not to, and she's just shrugged her shoulders. Nightheart's already talking about babies and they're cooing at each other. It's painfully boring.

Why can't the writing team ever do toxic relationships on purpose? Why is it that when it looks like a relationship SHOULD be barreling towards a terrible conclusion they just end up playing it wholesome and soso sweet (Star Flower x Clear Sky, NightSun), but when they intend for two cats to be the obvious, perfect choice for each other (Bramblesquirrel, Turtle Tail x Gray Wing) it ends up absolutely radioactive?

(Side note, isn't it weird that StarClan was able to DM ThunderClan and tell them "hey, dont be mad that nightheart's leaving for the 400th time" but Frostpaw comes back with legitimately important information and Splashtail is able to go "nuh uh." GOD Nightheart's life is so easy)

TL;DR NightSun should have gone down in flames and we were robbed.

[iamcautiouslyoptimistic]

Crawling Back to You (Part 1) ~ Alex Mason x Helina "Bell" Soldatova

{Author's Note} Y'ALL I HAVE IDEAS AND MOTIVATION AGAIN!!! Summer school has started but it's way more relaxed so I don't feel so burnt out all the time now. I'm also less stressed about my brother, though things are still kind of up in the air. Anyway, I don't know how many parts this series will be but I promise it will end happily! Just wanted to write about Alex and Helina finding each other again after the events of Cold War, inspired by the wonderful drawing @alypink did for me🥹 Let me know what you think, especially if I didn’t get any of the characters right! Still getting used to some of their traits. I also tagged about as many of my moots as I could remember lol❤️ (let's hope the tag system actually works since it's been weird lately) {Tag List} @alypink @efingcod @welldonekhushi @walder-138 @imagoddamnonionmason @littlemissclandestine @mango-parfait @thedevillovesflowers @http-paprika @mctvsh @adlerboi @deadbranch @moosch @theqreatorsworld

>Part 1< | Part 2 (coming soon!)

‼️Content Warnings: swearing, violence, mentions of death‼️

Helina "Bell" Soldatova belongs to me!

~ ~ ~

The pain was blinding and she knew she wasn’t dead because she felt it so intensely. The bullet had carved a path of white fire along her temple, just missing her eye. It hadn’t penetrated her skull but the blood that poured from her head was enough to convince Adler that his shot had found its intended mark. 

Helina didn’t move, paralyzed by pain and too frightened to even breathe. She realized for the first time in her life that she didn’t want to die, a notion she was completely unfamiliar with as death had always been a lifelong friend. 

Adler gazed down at her with more remorse than she’d ever seen on his face, his features twisted into an expression of guilt. She didn’t even blink, hoping her stillness would convince him of her death. 

“I’m sorry, Bell,” he said softly, “But you’ve served your purpose.” 

He grabbed her wrists and began to drag her toward the cliff’s edge. She was too weak to fight back, too overcome with agony and heartache that she didn't try to free herself from his grasp. Images of Alex invaded her thoughts, the moment of their first kiss in a dark corner of the safe house playing over and over in her mind’s eye. Tears trailed down her cheeks as she remembered the last words he'd said to her, his feelings for her obvious in his tone and in the softness of his gaze. She just wished she could’ve told him that he was her first love, the only person she’d ever yearned for a domestic life with. 

Adler forced her over the cliff’s edge with a grunt but she barely felt the drop in her stomach as she plummeted toward the water below. She didn’t even feel the cold when she hit the waves. Its embrace was almost comforting, wrapping her up in the closest approximation of peace she’d ever known. Nothing was expected of her anymore, she belonged to no one but the sea. And the sea was more than happy to make her its own. 

The last breaths of air escaped her lungs as she let herself sink, unaware of the shadow that inched ever closer to her. Her final thoughts were of how beautiful the sunlight looked streaming through the water and what color Alex's eyes would be if the light were to hit them just right.

~ ~ ~

“Tell me what the fuck you did to her!” Mason screamed and slammed his fist into Adler’s face, knocking his glasses to the ground as his knuckles connected with a sickening crunch. “Where is she?!”

Adler stumbled but remained as stoic as ever, wincing slightly as he held the back of his hand to his bleeding nose. He could barely meet Mason’s gaze, knowing his answer would only hurt him more. 

“I shot her,” he stated. “She was a loose end. We couldn’t risk it.”

Mason inhaled sharply and swallowed a sob at the revelation. “Where’s her body?” he asked after a bout of tense silence, his voice cracking under the weight of his emotion. “At least let me bury her. She deserves that much.”

Adler knew there was no body to bury but decided not to reveal that fact. If Mason wanted to erect a gravesite for her, he’d let him do so. “On the cliff side, ‘round the back of the main island. That’s where it happened. You’ll know from the blood.” 

Mason’s expression soured further, twisting with a rage he’d rarely displayed before. He was about to hit Adler again when Woods stepped in, placing a gentle hand on his friend’s shoulder. 

“Come on, Mason. We’ll find her. He’s not worth any more of your grief,” he told him with a stony glare at the still-bleeding Adler. The pair stormed out, leaving Adler to pick up the pieces of his broken glasses and bruised dignity. 

[victorianpining]

The Game is Now

(Well The Game is over a year ago, if you want to be technical about it)

I finally took the time to write up my notes and reactions to the original BBC Sherlock Escape Room Experience! Sorry in advance if things are a little vague at points, we only played through the room once and am mostly running off of iphone notes I wrote 13 months ago. I hope to be able to go back to try out the new Mind of Moriarty room during its run, if this one was anything to go by, it should be a fun time!

My usual disclaimer that while this is a TJLC slanted writeup, I'm just playing The Game for fun at this point, I really am not expecting any of this to lead anywhere. Enjoy your television responsibly, don't idolize television writers, eat your veggies, etc. etc. etc. And spoilers for the room, obviously.

Oh, and huge thank you to @watermotif @betweendoctorsanddetectives and @647763 (and her girlfriend) for playing the room with me! I had a blast suffering with you all <3

The way I'm getting myself to finally actually write this up is by telling myself it's okay if my thoughts are a little informal, especially after this long, so this is going to be written the way I usually structure my outlines in the format of chaotic bullet points. Hopefully it's still readable!

I'm starting my recap of the experience outside of the escape room itself, which was located in what was, for all intents and purposes, a random, abandoned seeming mall in London (it wasn't actually abandoned malls are just like that now)

So imagine you are just walking through what looks exactly like your local, very dead, mall, when there's just this massive wall with dark damask wall paper and the most DFP Sherlock quotes you can conceive of plastered on it. Think "I may be on the side of the angels but don't think for a second I am one of them" "heroes don't exist and if they did I wouldn't be one of them" "I'm a high functioning sociopath" etc. It's already hilarious

You come around the corner from that and there's the gated off "Doyle's Optometrist" office, where you have to page in (I think we had to state our group name, I can't remember exactly how we got in)

Once you're inside the staff helping you are named Stamford. Yes like Mike Stamford. Yes all of them. If you didn't know you were in for psychological torment, you do now

[brief intermission here because some of us arrived early, so they actually let us through to the Mind Palace bar while we waited. It was pretty cool, apart from the guy working there being really pushy about ordering drinks. The bar is Victorian themed with framed pictures from TAB and the biggest one in the room, like by far, was a framed picture of Sherlock and Moriarty's little gun standoff, so you know, that was fun.]

[here we are trying to be normal about it]

[also I went to the bathroom at this point and there was a little sign in the stall which said that the Sherlock theme song was exactly the right length to wash you hands to which was the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen in my life]

Anyway back to the intended order of the experience, Stamford led us back to the optometrist waiting room where we sat calmly while John Watson's voice read out random advertisements. (The only one of these I wrote down was "the eyes are the legs of the face" because it was so random, but there was a set of them)

Also as you will see in the following picture, the posters in here were Bananas

(In case you can't see it since it's small in dash, the purple one behind Mia says "Doyle's Audiographs: for those who hear but don't listen" very evocative of the "I did tell you but did you listen" motif, 0/10 very infuriating)

Stamford came over at this point and brought us back and gave us the rules, which included no photography so photos end here unfortunately

So we were taken to a projector room where John Watson addressed the players, saying that while it says the office belongs to Doyle, this is actually a front for one of Mycroft's plans (ha ha ha (deadpan)) and that he's coopted John into helping. (hah. do you get it? the author and the narrator? hillarious)

It was so clear that Martin did not want to be there. Like yes John in character also doesn't want to be there but Martin literally looked like he was being held at gunpoint. His eyes were dead. Poor guy.

Stamford led us through another room into the 221B living room! Being in here was surreal. Because there are a few groups lumped together at this point, we had a bit of time to look around the room. Rachel found a book about fetishes on the mantle, which was something.

We took our group picture, they let you pick from a few props. I went for the white queen chess piece for Dracula reasons and got bullied into wearing the deerstalker, which was homophobic.

Also the skull was the Yorick version, and I took a moment to stare into ACD's eyes, out of respect, as one does.

At this point the game proper begins! Sherlock's voice comes on (Ben is not on camera other than one brief exception which we will be coming back to later) and starts prepping us for our mission.

I don't remember the context but I think while telling us to be careful in the flat he told us "don't scrape your knees, or do." which was funny considering "the state of her knees"

Mycroft then addresses the audience (hah) only to be interrupted by Moriarty (hah) hacking the TV (hah hah hah)

The mirror above the fireplace? Also turns into a TV that Moriarty hacks. Ha. Ha ha ha ha.

Moriarty informs us that he has kidnapped Mycroft so the point of the game is to save Mycroft from Moriarty (I was fighting the urge to bash my head against the walls of 221b at this point, like I was expecting M Theory but like Come On you're killing me here)

You may be wondering how exactly Moriarty has kidnapped Mycroft considering he is dead. Great question! You don't get an answer apart from Moriarty saying "remember I am definitely dead" in the most sarcastic voice I have ever heard come out of Andrew Scott's mouth. Full psychological warfare at this point. Having a great time. The usual.

Also at this point, while talking about Mycroft, Moriarty compares him to Sherlock, and he definitely listed off a bunch of things but the part that most stood out was he said verbatim "Mycroft is like Sherlock without the fangirls or sex appeal" so uh. Um. Yeah. M Theory Time!!! All Aboard!!! Choo Choo!!!!

We were taken to the first of our three puzzle rooms: the morgue at St. Bart's. Moriarty is introducing the room and jokingly refers to the brief time he spent dating Molly, lets us know that our goal is to break into the computer system (a development which had me thrilled, you know I love the Moriarty as a Virus angle)

Not one full minute after Moriarty joked about Molly being his cover, Molly voice over talks to John (who by the way has a beard at this point, that I had not mentioned) and goes "nice beard!" Hah. Hah.

To get into the computer we needed to put in a date, I don't remember the context for this puzzle but the answer was 2012, the year of Season 2.

The case in the middle of the room then lights up and you're able to see the corpse. On the computer, a database comes in, and in order to get into the server, we need to fill out a series of questions about the identity of the corpse.

One of the filters is the relationship status of the corpse with three options, single, married m/f, and married m/m. I let out the most exhausted sigh of my entire life and hit married m/m without even looking at the corpse. (we briefly removed it because the room was giving us clues out of order that made us think for a moment that this was wrong, it was not, the corpse is gay, you have to not assume he's straight. Do you get it?) (war and strife on the planet earth)

So the clue for that is that the corpse has the name Stephen tattooed on him (really? of all the names? Stephen????) and you're meant to figure out that he wouldn't get a tattoo of his own name. Or just be so mentally exhausted that you intrinsically know the corpse is going to be gay because of course he is.

If that wasn't enough, the corpse was also a member of the Royal Navy who was left handed. Hi John.

At this point my friends in the room with me pointed me up to the TV in the corner, which was showing random news feed but the ticker tap at the bottom was advertising BBC Dracula, which was fun.

When we were finally getting into the cage the server was in, Moriarty kept ominously chanting "let me in"

Again, don't remember the context, but one of the clues in this room was identifying the heart

We discovered the corpse died of a horrific virus (hah) just as Moriarty hacked into the server thanks to us (once again was genuinely enjoying the code stuff, this is a 10/10 from me, makes fadow better for everyone who has done this silly escape room sdhgakjdsg)

The second room was Mycroft's underground office and our task from Moriarty was to locate where his agents were stationed throughout the world and once again send off his virus. I was giggling.

Flipping around with switches on Mycroft's desk, we found that the mirrors on either side of the room were actually windows! Because of course they were!

Sherlock comes in with a clue at this point and lets us know something to the effect of "Mycroft likes to hide clues in photographs" which was uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... normal.

Those are my only notes for this room and I don't remember literally anything else about it so sorry about that on to....

The final room: The Victorian Operating Theater! Oh boy!!!

Moriarty has been using us to access the genetic code (hah) for a virus (hah) last scene in the Victorian Era (hahahahahahahaa). He literally phrases it as "an old treasure brought into the modern day." Hillarious.

Then the absolute highlight of the experience: there's this giant console thing in the middle of the room that comes to life with all these screens, and on them including Moriarty taunting us and, the absolute 12/10 winner, footage of Sherlock wandering around 221B. This is the only Ben footage you get and not only does it confirm the "Moriarty is always spying on Sherlock" part of M Theory, it's very similar to the wall of monitors I came up with for fadow. Fellow Moriarty fan Mia and I were dying at this as much as we were able to while still trying to solve the room.

Moriarty freed Mycroft but had infected us with the virus (this is why I joke that Moriarty gave me COVID, because I caught it this day and it might as well have been from him)

His plan was to unleash the virus on the world unless we could stop him

This room was more physical puzzles than mental, and we had to cure the brain, the heart, and the lungs respectively. The brain and the heart are obviously big Sherlock meta staples so since then I've been like "why the lungs tho?" My best guess is it has something to do with breathing new life into an old story, but that's just a guess

While we were solving it and making progress Moriarty came on to rant something like "the game was over! You should have known when to give up!" Flames, flames on the side of my face.

When we won, Sherlock insulted us, but Mycroft then came on to compliment our efforts and talents, which was a great way to leave off.

Apparently only 20% of people actually solve the room, and we were in the top 20% of that, all while trying to take in the meta of it all, go League of Furies!!!

Final thoughts: this really was like if watching the show was a thing you could live through in real time. If you've ever wanted to be tormented by Mofftiss in a more visceral way, this room is exactly what you're looking for. Also shoutout to Andrew, who acted his absolute heart out, 15/10 thanks for all the M Theory, it was delicious

Also once again to reiterate, I can't believe James Moriarty gave me COVID, after all I have done for him, rest in pieces except he isn't even dead all the way.

I guess 4 months of not being able to breathe fully was the real lungs meta all along.

Can't wait for the Mind of Moriarty game next though for real, that's gonna be Bonkers, if one of the scenes is a virtual version of the waterfall scene from TAB I think I would combust on the spot

Thanks for reading!!! Sorry this took me forever only to be such a casual writeup in the end, but hopefully this recreation of my mental breakdown in a mall was entertaining.

[nordschleifes]

extra — que me paso?

➝ fernando is heartbroken. but the show must go on.

➝ word count: 3,7k

➝ warnings: alcohol consumption, angst, puppets

➝ author's note: for all intents and purposes, all dialogues between fernando, alberto and the el hormiguero team are in spanish, however, translated for easier reading. i'm sorry for breaking your heart again, marco. tagging @christianpulisic10, @alonsogirlie and @enaticosencantados as requested.

Staring into space, the words repeated inside Fernando's head.

— We've gone too far — Charlie said, her eyes full of tears, her wet hair falling over her green uniform. 

“But does that mean, too far?”, he asked himself, as his mind replayed the moment when he watched, paralyzed, the woman he loved slipping through his fingers and disappearing from the suite.

He couldn't remember feeling such pain before in his life. Not even with all of the heartbreaks and injuries he’d suffered in the course of his life, this one felt different. Fernando didn't understand how or why, but what had happened in Japan had cut him more deeply than any wound he’d ever suffered.

Maybe it was the fact that he said those three words with complete conviction that he would be reciprocated. Maybe it was the fact that he saw love in those beautiful blue eyes. Perhaps it was the fact that they had walked such a long path, filled with so much strife and pain, only to find more sadness and frustration.

In his hands, the phone's screen lit up with a notification. However, the simple eye movement made Fernando's heart ache again. It wasn't a message from the woman who was smiling, hugging her cat, in the background of the device. And if it wasn't her, it didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

— Fer?

He looked up to find Alberto sitting right next to him, staring at him with a worried expression.

— What? — Fernando muttered, turning off the cell phone screen.

— You're thinking about her again, aren't you? — his friend asked softly.

He snorted, feeling defeated. There was no point in denying it, Alberto knew him like no one else. There was a reason that his name wasn’t listed in Fernando’s contacts as Alberto or his nickname, Galle, but hermano. He was the brother life had given him.

— I am.

The friend pursed his lips.

— Hasn’t she answered you?

— No — Fernando muttered.

— Not even the note at the factory?

— She read it, saw me at the door of the engineering office, and threw it in the trash.

— Oh — Alberto said quietly, seeming to absorb the impact of Charlie's attitude. Something that Fernando was still trying to do, even if it filled his chest with inexplicable anguish — So, you don't think it’s time to…

— No — the driver said, not waiting for him to finish the question. He already knew what Alberto was going to ask him and Fernando was absolutely sure of the answer — I'm not going to give up on her.

— Fer, Charlie doesn’t…

— She'll talk to me, I know she will — he replied — I'll convince her to talk to me.

— And how do you intend to do that?

— I — Fernando began, before being interrupted by the door to the green room opening Sara, the show's producer, came in, her curly hair tied on top of her head and a friendly expression on her face.

— Could you come with me, Fernando?

Forcing a smile, the driver got up, brushing past Alberto in silence and following Sara out of the room. While she was talking about the segments that would be recorded that afternoon, they passed by a window, where the Madrid landscape lay gray and melancholy. 

It was exactly how Fernando felt.

Charlie was like the sun and Fernando bitterly regretted having hidden from her shine for so long. It had only been in the last few months that he started to realize how she brought color and joy to his life. Simply getting a message from her wishing him a good morning was able to make all problems disappear from Fernando's day. There were no clouds when she was around, let alone rain or cold.

Charlie was light. Charlie was warmth. Charlie was life.

— Alejandro, can you put the mic on him? — Sara said, bringing him back to the present.

— Of course — the dark brown-haired man replied, approaching him with a nervous little smile. Fernando couldn't help noticing that his hands were shaking as he clipped the microphone to the collar of the white shirt he was wearing underneath his black leather jacket.

— Are you okay? — the driver asked, which made the man look up, his eyes wide with shock, as if he couldn't believe Fernando was talking to him.

— Me? Yeah, I'm fine.

— You're shaking — he said seriously.

— It's not every day that I put a microphone on my childhood idol — the man said, before handing over the transmitter for Fernando to clip to his pants. As he looked at the young production assistant, Fernando felt strangely old, as if he had only just now realized that he was 42 years old. He didn’t often feel his age, especially when he was with Charlie. She was able to bring the fresh-faced 22 year old Formula 1 rookie out of him. She was able to bring out the boy full of dreams, desires and plans for his own future.

All of them had Charlie included.

— Pablo just finished his monologue and he's going to introduce you, okay? — Sara said, and Fernando nodded. Taking a deep breath, he tried to focus on what he needed to do. He was used to performing as an athlete, and this was no different. “Promoting the Las Vegas Grand Prix, talking about the performance this year and the search for the third championship”, Alberto repeated in his head.

— Today, who comes to have fun at El Hormiguero is the two-time Formula 1 champion and Aston Martin driver, Fernando Alonso!

The audience's applause was the cue for him to enter the studio, an artificial smile screwed on his face. After greeting Pablo warmly with a hug, he walked to the stand, waving to the audience before taking his seat. When the music ceased in the studio, Pablo turned to him and smiled.

— Welcome, Fernando, how are you?

— I'm good — he said, with a smile.

— It's been a long time since you've been here, hasn't it?

— Yes, I think I last came in person in 2019, and then only by video call.

— And a lot has changed since then, hasn't it?

— Yes, a lot — Fernando said, trying to remember where he was in his life the last time he was there. He had just competed in the Dakar and was back in Formula 1, despite all the resistance from his family and Linda, his girlfriend at the time. At that moment, she seemed like a distant memory, a flash overshadowed by…

— But they certainly changed for the better — Pablo continued — You spent two years at Alpine and then, with Vettel's retirement, you took over his seat at Aston Martin. And from there, you started stringing up spectacular results.

— Yes…

— This season, there were three wins, in addition to seven podiums, all in your first year with the team — Pablo said, eliciting applause from the audience. Fernando gave a small smile, a bittersweet feeling rising in his chest.

— Yes, it was indeed an excellent first year, better than I could have imagined. The car is very good and the team is brilliant, so it's impossible not to have a good season.

More applause, more smiles. Until that moment, a perfect interpretation of the happy and successful driver who was there to promote the Las Vegas Grand Prix on Spanish television. A performance worthy of a Goya award.

— The next race is in Las Vegas, right? — the presenter asked.

— That's right, we're heading back there.

— There were races in Las Vegas before?

— Yes, there were some in the 80s, but on a much smaller circuit. Now we're going to race on a new circuit, designed for today's cars.

— And what do you think of this new circuit?

— Well, at first I thought it would be a slower circuit, just like Baku, because it is a street layout, with many turns and a long straight but it has several straights, and it is extremely fast.

— Fast in which sense? — Pablo asked, laughing — It's because you have a different concept of fast than we do, you know?

— I think it is possible to hit 360 kilometers per hour, considering the DRS and the clean air of the other cars.

The presenter and the audience seemed impressed, some even scared, by this information. After questioning about the layout, the difficulties and the reason why they would be racing on Saturday night and not Sunday, Pablo adjusted the round-framed glasses on the top of his nose.

— And what do you expect from this race? — he asked.

— I believe we have everything to make a good fight against Mercedes and Red Bull. Both myself and the team's engineers are optimistic about the simulations and data we already have from the track and we have everything to have a very positive weekend in Vegas.

The television host smiled broadly at him. 

— Well, since you mentioned engineers, we have a few things to show you today. Laura, please.

Turning his face to the projector screen to his left, Fernando felt his chest sink as a video played on the giant screen, repeated on the smaller studio monitors across the soundstage.

— Are you ready? — he heard his own voice say through the studio's audio system. In the projected image, he was looking into the passenger seat of the DB12, at Silverstone. Charlie was seated next to him, her bangs barely visible under the edge of a black helmet with a visor strip that had the Pirelli Logo with the words “Hot Laps”.

— Of course I am! — she replied, smiling — Don’t go easy on me, either.

The video cut to the moment when he stepped on the accelerator, accelerating down the straight to the sound of the 680-horsepower V8 engine and Charlie's laughter. She squealed with joy as her hands tightened on the leather seat in a vain attempt to keep herself stable as Fernando contourned the Village.

— Come on, is that all you can do? — she asked in a loud voice, trying to overcome the roar of the engine, looking at Fernando with a mischievous gleam in her eyes — I thought you were a two-time world champion!

— If you say so — the driver muttered, hitting the Wellington straight, the numbers on the car's dashboard skyrocketing. The loud rumble made her put her hand on his arm, pulling away as he slowed briefly to round Luffield and head toward Copse.

Hearing her laughter, Fernando watched as the two rocked side to side as they passed Maggots and Becketts. Charlie looked completely fulfilled there, urging him to go faster even in corners where he was being more conservative. She was intense, direct, deep and passionate about what she did.

No wonder he couldn’t help but fall in love with her. It was as easy as breathing.

The applause from the audience brought Fernando back to reality, meeting the curious look of Pablo, who had a slight smile.

— Well, we've seen this lady several times with you during the season, accompanying you during the weekends, talking to you before the races and even on your social media, like on your birthday...

— Yes, that’s Charlie. Well, her name is Charlotte, but her nickname is Charlie — the driver replied, giving a small smile when he saw the photo he had posted to his Instagram. She was posing with the cake she had requested to come to their table on the night of his birthday, in Belgium, the words “happy birthday, asshole” written in chocolate syrup.

— She's your engineer, right?

— Yes, my race engineer.

— And what does she do, exactly?

— Well, all drivers have race engineers, who are the people who inform us about what is happening on the track, the condition of the car, whether it will rain or not, a bridge between the driver and the outside world.

— So she's the one who tells you everything, basically the voice in your head when you're driving?

— Something like that — Fernando replied, chuckling.

— But this isn't the first time you've worked together, is it? You two worked together at McLaren before your sabbatical, didn't you?

— That's right — he said, looking at the photo they'd retrieved of the two of them talking, both dressed in black and white and with less than happy expressions in their faces. Her hair was blonde then, and she had a different haircut, without the fringe bangs she had now. She looked like a different person — We worked together at McLaren for four years. She was my performance engineer at the time.

— Well, that explains a lot the closeness between you that we can see on television…

— Yeah, it does — Fernando replied — The fact that we had worked together helped a lot in my arrival at Aston Martin, since I came from a team with a different project, a different vision, different equipment, while she had been there for a longer time.

— And is it always this quick for an engineer and a driver to get into this sort of marriage, so to speak? Or is it something particular to you, because you already know each other?

The word marriage made his stomach churn.

— Well, the truth is that there is no formula to make a partnership like this work. Other drivers use different ways to maintain this relationship. Lance, my teammate, for example, likes to go cycling with his engineer, Ben. I know that Hamilton likes to run with his and Ocon likes to travel to the circuits with his.

— And what do you do with Charlie?

“We fuck”, he thought, smiling to mask his discomfort.

— A little bit of everything — Fernando finally answered — We eat together, travel together and we are always in touch, even when there's no race.

— Did you ever fight?

— Sometimes.

— So it's like a real marriage — Pablo said, making the audience laugh and Fernando give a weak smile — And, between us, being married to a beautiful woman like her shouldn't be difficult at all, right?

The driver laughed, nodding.

— She would hate you saying that, Pablo.

— Uh, why?

— Nothing annoys Charlie more than that.

— Being called pretty?

— Being summarized as just a pretty woman, because she is so much more than that.

Pablo’s expression lit up with curiosity.

— Oh, tell us more.

— Charlie is extremely intelligent, intuitive and observant. She is not satisfied with points or podiums, she wants victories, championships, trophies. She is ambitious and has the same hunger to win that I have and that, in a way, brought us together. And that makes her one of the best race engineers in Formula 1, if not the best.

— A strong statement, Fernando…

— Not to mention what she’s like as a person, outside of work. She's funny, loving, and caring, plus she has amazing taste in music. Anyway, she is much more than a pretty face and I admire that about her. I admire her and am proud to have her by my side — he finished, the last sentence making something ache in his chest. Charlie wasn't there for him anymore, she never would be, as much as he wanted her to.

— Putting it that way, I think we're going to have to have her here sometime, aren't we? — Pablo said, turning to the audience. Fernando forced another smile, trying to hide his own pain.

The rest of the recording was a blur, the questions and jokes mixing with the memories of Charlie inside his mind. Everything reminded him of her, from the comments about cats to the moment when Trancas, one of the puppets, asked if he had ever forgotten an important date, like a girlfriend's birthday. The bouquet of English roses he had sent to Charlie's suite on the morning of October 23rd was proof that he would never be able to do this.

At the end of his guest appearance, Fernando said goodbye to the show’s production team and got into the car with Alberto, who suggested that the two of them go somewhere to eat, which he accepted, without paying much attention, his eyes lost in the streets of Madrid. Stopping the car in front of a bar that he didn't bother to see what it was, the two sat down at an empty table, being promptly served. After Alberto asked for sparkling water and a board of jamón and cheese, the waiter turned to Fernando.

— And you, sir, what do you want?

Usually he asked for water or juice, even a soda when he wanted something different, but always without alcohol. However, he needed something stronger than Coke that night.

— I'll have a beer — he said flatly.

Fernando didn't tell how many glasses of beer he had drunk until the end of the night, much less how he got back to the hotel they were staying in downtown. Still in the clothes he'd worn on the recording of the show, he was sprawled on the bed, staring at the ceiling. In his head, Charlie's laugh echoed like a distant memory, her smile wide as she held the team trophy at Suzuka.

He needed to hear her voice again. He needed her.

Picking up the phone, Fernando tapped the screen a few times until he found Charlie's number in the contact list. Pressing the green button next to her nickname, the long beeps made his heart sink. She hadn't answered any of his calls so far, why she would…

— Hello? Fernando? — he heard Charlie say on the other end of the line. His heart leapt in his chest, his mind slow to process an answer. After so much time trying to talk to her, the driver had no idea what to say — Are you there?

— Charlie — he drawled in a slurred voice — You answered me…

— You called me at two in the morning, I thought it might be an emergency.

— It's an emergency — Fernando said, the words slowly coming out of his mouth.

A few seconds of silence passed.

— Fernando, are you drunk?

— Yes…

— You never drink — Charlie stated.

— I wanted to drink today.

— Why?

— I was missing you — Fernando murmured.

She sighed on the other end of the line.

— You know you can't drink. It's not good for you.

The driver was silent, processing Charlie's words. There seemed to be concern in her tone. But why was she worried?

— It's not like you care...

— Of course I do, Fernando — she replied on the other end of the line, seeming outraged by that idea — I care so much that I'm going to send a message to Alberto now...

— He was with me — Fernando replied.

— And he allowed you to drink that much?

— He's not my mother.

Charlie was silent for long seconds, looking like she didn't have any arguments to rebut him.

— And why did you call me? — she finally asked, making him sit on the bed.

— Because we need to talk.

— Fernando…

— It's no use saying we don't need it, Charlie, we need to talk and sort it out.

— But we can't do that over the phone...

— Why not? — Fernando said, in a harsh tone that, in a way, reflected the pain he felt — You refuse to look me in the face since that night in Suzuka. You barely talk to me during debriefs. You ignored my note at the factory and the flowers I sent you for your birthday.

— But I thanked you...

— Do you know how many flower shops I had to call to get that bouquet? More than seven! — he continued, feeling his eyes fill with tears — I don't know what to do to show you that I'm serious.

— Fernando, please — Charlie said quietly.

— Why don't we settle this now? — the driver questioned, feeling his voice crack.

— Because you're drunk, Fernando, and it’s late — Charlie exclaimed — You shouldn’t even be awake right now, never mind having a serious discussion about our relationship.

— I'm perfectly in a position to discuss our relationship.

— For God's sake, it's two in the morning!

— Fuck, Charlotte! — he yelled, tears streaming down his face — It doesn't change anything! It doesn't change the fact that I want to give you everything. I want to give you a home, a family, a future. I want to give you my days and my nights and everything in between.

— Fernando!

— I only want one thing from you, and that's your fucking heart! Why are you making things difficult? Why can't you be happy with me? I'm not enough for you, is that it?

Charlie sighed on the other end of the line, clearly annoyed.

— This is exactly why I don’t want to discuss this with you right now.

— Why?

— Because won’t listen to me!

— And did you think of listening to me in Suzuka, Charlotte?

She sighed.

— Listen, we're going to talk about this in person, calmly, like two adults, and not over the phone after you’ve been drinking. 

He stared into space in silence for long seconds.

— Are you going to run away again? — Fernando murmured.

— No, I won't. 

— When? — he asked, a spark of hope lighting up in his heart. Maybe if they talked, Charlie would finally be honest with him and herself. Maybe Fernando could convince her that he was the perfect person for her.

— In Las Vegas — she replied, making him feel dismayed.

— But that's a week from now! — he whined.

— Fernando…

— Why don't you fly to Lugano? Or, I can go to your house so we can talk? I can get a last-minute flight…

— You're not going to get a flight, Fernando. You're going to take a shower, take some paracetamol and go to sleep — she replied. Her voice reminded him of the way his mother spoke to him when he was younger, which made him briefly imagine what it would be like to see her taking care of their kids — You’ll feel much better in the morning.

— Fine — Fernando finally relented, passing a hand over his wet face.

— We'll talk, but in Vegas, in person, okay?

— Okay.

— Now, go do what I told you.

— Okay — he said, in a low voice.

— Good night, Fernando.

— Good night. I love you — the driver replied, hoping to hear the same back. However, instead of the sound of Charlie's voice, he heard the beep that indicated that the call had ended.

“Maybe she doesn't love me in the end”, Fernando thought to himself, letting himself fall onto the mattress again.

[itzrafee]

SPOILERS for The Sandman comic book series. All of it. Especially the ending. Okay spoiler alert over.

And a content warning about suicide.

I'm not into the fandom of Sandman so I don't know if Gaiman addressed this or if this is a widely held thought but from the incredibly affecting day I finished it so long ago, I've always held the belief that the series is essentially Morpheus's suicide note. Essentially, it being a series of him wrapping up his affairs as he orchestrated his death. I remember reading the quote from Gaiman, "“The Lord of Dreams learns that one must change or die, and makes his decision." and then realizing his actions in a purposeful way, lead to his death. He set it all up. I know he says he didn't but how else can you see his actions? He even finds his own successor. He comes back out into a dreamless world that could use him more than ever and he's tired. He's playing catch-up and barely keeping up. And his devotion to his duty doesn't let him rest. He sees the need and knows he can't fill it. He can't meet the change. He tells his sister as much. And his constant orbit around his sister shows him everything he can't be. And the opportunity that lies there.

But that's not what The Sandman is about, it's just what it is. What I find the most interesting is when the Dreams of Morpheus come together with Stories that are a result of those Dreams. And how Death wraps those two up in her arms. They're all intrinsically tied to each other. The Inn at the end of the world serving as both the prologue and epilogue to Morpheus's death really shows that they are. We are a lot of things, people I mean. Or maybe just even living things. But in one way we are the same. We are stories. We have a beginning. We have a middle. And unfortunately we have an end.

I don't know if it was just me but I remember feeling a profound emptiness and hollowness at the end of The Sandman. A grief at the story ending. And I feel as if that is what Gaiman intended. Through the inn we learn of the ways Morpheus had affected people. When we leave this world we leave a lot of grief behind. Grief in the form of stories and dreams. I remember once seeing an ask of Gaiman where it was mentioned he was the one who said "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem". And I think The Sandman reinforces that philosophy through the grief it shows. In a way, the tales those at the World's End Inn share are a form of grief but we also see the way dreams, death, stories and grief intersect in many of the important side characters. Hod Gadling, an incarnation of dreams as much as death, an outlier and an immortal. Someone who more than almost anyone would mourn Morpheus. We see it in the Dead Boy Detectives, a ghoulish emptiness where a story should end. And in Orpheus, forced to live on in grief. They are all twisted apparitions of dreams, of death, of stories, and of grief.

We are stories. And when we end, people grieve. They grieve through retelling and remembering. One of my favourite iterations of this idea is the story of Shakespeare and Hamlet. Shakespeare pays for the price of his dreams through his son and as we in the real world know, he grieves through telling a story of Hamnet. Hamnet gets turned into a tale that lives on long after he passes. These are all imperfect forms of life and death but they're all stories that do end. They have to. Maybe through telling and dreaming up these stories we keep them alive just a bit longer. Maybe until the heat death of it all, Hob Gadling will live on, being the last person Death take in, but she will take him. Death may be a mug's game but it's a game we all have to play. And grief is the price those that love us pay for it. It's the high cost of living.

[rin-and-jade]

This question touches upon the notion of “traumagenic” and “endogenic”; as well as The Theory of Structural Dissociation. The Theory of Structural Dissociation seemingly supports endogenics as it states that there are “natural born” systems. They would be “endogenic” because they're not born from trauma, (as those who are “traumagenic” are).

I recently had a discussion with someone in a yt comment section about those two terms and they pointed me to you, so I just want to see what you think.

I believe in endogenic systems; because why would a book (the DSM) made by those who don't even experience plurality determine whether something exists or not? And as systems, those who are heavily categorized and misunderstood or looked down upon because they don't fit the singlet category, I feel as though we should embrace different forms of neurodiversity.

My questions are: what is the real line between "traumagenic" and "endogenic"? Are systems who were born as a system and weren't exasperated by trauma (like an endo) any less valid or real than those who were exasperated by trauma (traumagenic)? Or because of that theory, if that's how all systems work, aren't all systems "endogenic"?

Before reading: Long post. This purpose is to discuss and look at things in another pov, not intended to debate current beliefs/opinions. TLDR Provided. Last notes at bottom.

To clarify first, im in a neutral stance between the endo and traumagenic community as i focus more on the better of living for any kinds of plural people. Your question did seemed interesting and i had ever discussed this by myself on free time, so i do got some answers for you!

The line between these two are its origin and functionality, to put it in my opinion. The unique thing about plurality is that, i can totally see it being possible that it can exist outside of trauma.

Well, let me explain it to you like this:

An intact personality is where multiple facets are cohesive, and these facets that gives you that said personality is your identity. It's how you see yourself, and act like who you know. Basically, it's how you can act differently in different situations be it at school, at home, at somewhere else etc.

The thing about where personality is located in our brain has been a complex topic for scientists, if i remember correctly, there wasn't a specific spot for it as our brain has multiple areas with different functionality, and these regions cooperating creates a tangible output like how you react, or your typical behaviors.

I kept finding singlets discussing things that looks like really mild system things, and especially from this one youtube video (im so sorry i couldn't provide the link, it has been months ago i had watched but it discussing this too by a doctor or something. lmk if i have to find it again) quotes that the brain fools us into thinking theres only one 'kind' of us, not by it's exact words but close. These people can have different levels in terms of sense of personality unity btw, so not all singlets are the same either.

Now the origin and functionality for a traumagenic is different, because these states are being separated, and compartmentalized due to trauma. The presence of amnesia blocks the other side's of selves sometimes to severe degrees, now acting independently. There is also proof that the grey matter and the communication between regions are different, compared to a healthy brain (i can find the links for this too if needed). Well, you could read more about DID if needed.

So no, neither are less valid, but that doesn't mean both works the same or have the same processes either. Which means, not all systems are endogenic by origins.

Lastly, this is from what i had learnt and connect the dots over many sources i had read to ensure a wide perspective, nuanced understandings in topics. I am fully aware if some of you seem to disagree or see my views as wrong,, we have our own pov's ofcourse. i don't want to fight about validating my pov alright? Im also open to feedback/extra questions, im as well aware of the existence of fake/bad endos and do not support them.

TLDR: There are real life experiences and proof that supports the idea of being plural in mild/different ways, or ways that are different to traumagenics due to the complexity of the brain. Neither are the same in terms of how it functions and where it came from. Neither are also less valid.

- j

[raintakesabow]

I don't know what i'm doing really, but here's some Rain World Iterator Oc's i've conceptualized. (Picrew used: https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/2063093)

Twelve Bells Toll (She/Her)

Bells is an iterator with a heavily damaged Memory Conflux. Due to this, she has trouble remembering specific details and uses a myriad of pearls to make up for this, storing vital information and important memories within. After growing fond of a certain knowledge hungry slugcat, Bells taught it how to read and create data pearls so it may collect it's own research. Archie, The Archivist (yes i know archivist isn't pronounced with a soft C but shush), is a curious slugcat who found their way into Bells' can through typical slugcat shenanigans. After growing fond of the iterator, Archie has taken up the role of organizing Bells' pearls and learning plenty about the world in the process.

Twisting Pathways Ever Changing (Any Pronouns)

Path spent their days studying the echoes, trying to find exactly what would cause their appearance in the hopes of finding the Great Solution, as well as maybe saving the Ancients who had already become Echoes. They failed, of course, and went insane in the process. Trying to properly study an echo and it's anatomy proved extremely difficult and even trying to simply commune with one led to more and more desperate experiments with Karma and Void fluid, leaving his can in complete disrepair with many creatures stuck in states of not quite death, and other in states similar to echoes, unable to move on. The sheer amount of echo activity throughout the structure has caused a bit of a strange phenomenon surrounding the passage of time and the structure of space. Path's interior seems to be ever shifting, with walls moving in and out of eachother and doorways opening up that you could've sworn weren't there before.

No Stone Unturned (It/It's)

(Picture not applicable) Stone was originally a multi-purpose factory for producing all kinds of machinery and parts. After the Iterator project began and the Ancients moved atop their cans, Stone was given consciousness and repurposed into an iterator. (Why spend resources on a new building when you already have a mega factory you can repurpose). The majority of Stone lies below the surface, deep underground. This means that rather than creating a large amount of rain each cycle, Stone instead produces a dense and consistent fog over the earth. Despite being far more mechanical than biological in nature, Stone's interior feels the most alive compared to other iterators. Conveyors moving left and right, pistons pushing and pulling, drones and claws moving materials anywhere it needs to be. As part of the lack of biological parts, however, Stone sees everything as pure data. rather than seeing a green lizard as it is, Stone sees the data of each individual pixel which make up the camera feed, and manually translates that into a visual for themself. As such, they are much more confident working with machines than biological organisms due to the lack of variables requiring less visual processing. It still highly cares for life, and tries it's best to prevent suffering. Stone will lead any creatures that find their way inside back out, and will take any creatures that were injured within, render them unconscious, and provide them with a prosthetic before letting them back out.

Small notes:

Bells is intended to be heavily ADHD coded, and their inspiration comes from some of my own personal struggles with it, along with a fear of losing details from memories i hold dear to my heart. So while they may be rather simple, they're definitely my favorite due to being more personal to me. Path's old name has been forgotten to time, and this is the name they have given themself since. Pathways speaks with a weird sort of rhythmic prose, speech twisting and twisting in a way that's so easy to get lost in if you aren't careful. Similar to the statement in episode 165 of The Magnus Archives. Stone speaks through a tinny P.A. System, (and as such can speak to anything no matter where they are within it) I like to imagine that Stone has a small colony of various critters that live within the higher and safer parts that it takes care of. The Idea for Stone begin with thinking "Iterators basically are their cans, so what if there was no puppet for all the processes to center upon?"

[unorcadox]

2 years of unorcadox.

hey hi welcome all -- hello especially to my trans and nonbinary followers, hope we’re all doing well ^_^  today’s the blog’s birthday!!  as of this post going live, assuming tumblr actually does its job, it will have been 2 years since uo’s first post!  i wanna just talk about the blog a little because i haven’t talked on here much as of late.

however, before that, i want to just say that i’d like to eventually start releasing video edits to accompany certain edits!  i have no idea when this’ll get sorted, but i’m gonna try to get it ready by the turn of the year, so keep an eye out for that!  these will mostly just be a single edit with accompanying audio on them, but who knows.  maybe i’ll do something more?

in case you choose to not read the stuff below the read more, i just want to say thank you to everyone for supporting the blog over the years, and for continuing to do so!  anyways, onto the actual post:

first of all, thank you all SO much for 9000 followers!!  it’s over 9000 wow!!  ok but seriously, when i first started this blog, i didn’t expect anyone to ever see it.  i know it’s a cliche thing to say but i told no one i was making it, i didn’t network to other blogs, i just made a really shitty edit and slapped it up on here, and somehow i got lucky.  i’ve made over 800 edits as of today’s post, and that’s just the ones i’ve posted!  fun fact, if i’d never mass-posted my backlog in august, i would’ve ran out literally days ago.  that’s how much content i try to stay ahead on.

second of all, i kinda wanna take a moment to say that i’m sorry about the lack of requests being fulfilled -- both recently and in the past.  i edit in batches, and prioritize content i need for scheduling purposes, but sometimes requests get kinda forgotten in the shuffle, or i don’t really have much in the way of ideas for it, so i shelve it and hope i can come back to it later... which i very rarely do.  😔  going to try and catch up on a couple of ones i have and feel free to send in more!  i know i don’t really interact as much on here as i probably should, but i love getting asks and requests and i read the notes on my posts frequently so.  thank you for being there!

third of all, the future of the blog.  so, i want to make this clear now -- uo’s not going anywhere!  i don’t intend on changing the blog at all, if anything i’d want to add onto it.  i post 3 times a day now currently, with intermittent unplanned posts at off-times, mostly reblogs of others’ edits.  however, weirdcore is probably not forever and i am kinda thinking about where this blog could go in the future.  i’ve considered opening a redbubble, ko-fi or patreon, as a way to support myself financially (i take virtually every photo used on this blog, and use very little outside content esp. in these newer edits) but i am uncertain about it.  i could also try branching out my image editing into other styles or something, but idk what!  what would you guys like to see?  i’ve considered actually talking on the blog more, transitioning to having text posts be a major part of the blog, but i’m not quite sure about how they’d be received.  let me know if you want to see anything on here!  --  relatedly since we’re mentioning blogs, check out @dreamlink3d as i’m still working on it :)

one last thing actually, for those who choose to read the read more, enjoy the secret -- before i had to go on hiatus in august, i was working on trying to attach songs to specific uo edits, for a compilation album of some kind.  i ended up running them through a site that just attaches audio to an uploaded images in ...ways i don’t understand, BUT the end results were so fun, i edited and compiled them into 2 “albums”!  i don’t consider them my own work as i didn’t make the audio, and they won’t be used in the upcoming stuff, but you can listen to them here [1] and here [2] !  click on a song title to see its associated edit btw!

i know i said the last thing was the last but i just remembered actually, i want to say like.  it’s weird being one of the “first” weirdcore blogs to really hit its stride, and one of the only from that time to still be around and actively posting.  cahwwcabh is deactivated and they were a huge influence on me and wc as a whole, sanfor has deactivated, shwenthe/hazy/dragon/hauntedearth/a lot more tbh have more or less gone inactive, godenteredmybody and pirate-flavor still post intermittently, and most of the active blogs now are a newer set that i didn’t ever meet in my time in weirdcord.  it’s weird but cool in a way!  i really like the newer set of editors tbh, and i hope that me supporting them encourages people to check them out.  in general this whole section is meaningless but idk i felt like vocalizing it.  it’s a weird feeling watching all your peers more or less move on while you stay behind and see a new wave of artists take their place more or less.  anyways, i just hope that my edits still bring happiness and meaning to the people who see them :)

ok NOW i’m done.  sorry for the wall LMAO i just felt like actually saying something for once on here.  btw i’ve been doing a lot better since i got back from hiatus, i hope you (yes you, the reader of this post) are doing well too -- i know this blog tends to lean heavily on negative emotions, and as such it kinda attracts people who are troubled -- so i feel like i gotta check in every once in a while LMAO.  i hope life is being kind to you, thank you so much, and have a lovely day <3.

[spanishskulduggery]

I'm currently at the learning stage where I'm reading tons of side-by-side English/Spanish stories and I just have to say...the translations *really* leave something to be desired. Would you ever do side-by-side translations of, like, public domain stories? (Edgar Allan Poe could be fun?!) and sell those as mini ebooks? I would buy them so fast and it would be a GREAT learning tool for your blog readers. Not to give you an assignment lol.

I might in the future if I can find the right formatting for it

In theory, doing a side by side translation would be easy enough assuming I can find out how to have English on one side and Spanish on the other and having them mostly the same as far as page for page

If anyone has any idea how one does that, let me know

But yes, I understand what you mean about some translations being... off

The problem I have with a lot of older translations is that so many translators tried to make things flow by sacrificing the original feeling of things

Some translations are particularly egregious. I remember reading a translation of Don Quixote side by side with the English and this dude full on inserted a special side story because he was so pressed that Cervantes forgot about Sancho's donkey

Some of those translations go more into officialized fanfiction in my opinion

As a personal preference, I do my utmost to give an accurate translation even if it sounds clunky. If needed, I adapt it and leave a note or a footnote to explain myself

The only time I think it's generally appropriate to be more liberal with the translation is poetry if you're trying to preserve the rhyme scheme, which is extremely difficult along with the meter. I usually just translate it very literally and make a note of the general rhyme scheme or any puns I notice

There's an interesting theory (for lack of a better word?) about translation that's like a punnett square - beautiful, ugly / literal, non-literal

Essentially your translations can either be beautiful and literal [the dream], ugly and literal [faithful but lacking in flair], beautiful and non-literal [thin ice], and ugly and non-literal [you failed]

On our best days translators try for beautiful and literal, or ugly and literal.

There are a few cases where beautiful and non-literal is okay especially for poetry and cases where you're trying to fit an established rhyme or meter, or there's a joke or cultural reference that doesn't translate well. Humor, poetry, and cultural references are the hardest to translate and also sometimes the hardest to catch as a translator. I tend to abuse footnotes in that case

It's really hard to defend ugly and non-literal, especially if you intended it that way. I would hope that ugly and non-literal translations are just mistakes or misinterpreting the text, but there are people in the past who have purposefully misrepresented texts for political or religious purposes and it's really hard to defend that

[pink-strawberry-kissess]

i just saw that essays on how ships work and the person has no clue 😭

they kept just shitting on aeon too 😭😭

heart rambles yadda yadda lol

PLEASE i love reading "analysis" from some 18 year old that just finished reading romeo and juliet or whatever jskbdfjsfs (not that all younger people are stupid- but i just.. question them sometimes.) (also i'm not BULLYING THEM LOL, i haven't even named them and i'm purposely being vague right now on who it is. i also blocked them already so i don't see them and if they see me- that's their problem ig)

ya know, i've never had the intention to "shit on other ships" it's one thing to "shit on" a ship that's not canon and is purely made in fanon.

when people shit on aeon, they

only played a single game (or not even played at this point, some seem to just be watching letsplays or tiktoks)

are a leon dick rider (which, hey whatever- but leave leon's face model alone already what the fuck)

find ada intimidating and "in the way of their own ship" (they tend to put their insecurities onto ada instead of going to therapy lol)

or are racist or misogynistic or try to demonize and sexualize ada

think that ada is "the whore" and doesn't deserve leon

(side note: i find it a good litmus test to present ada to young girls and see how they react to her and how purity culture and misogyny is so closely tied together)

i'm not being untrue when i say that i don't like certain ships because they fundamentally do not make sense and are not written to make sense. this isn't me SHITTING on the ship; im stating facts. devs never intended the ship to exist, they specifically wrote things out to make the ship not exist. certain ships are WRITTEN to be PLATONIC.

and when people interpret these ships as platonic- they aren't SHITTING ON THEM. when i think of leon and ashley as "siblings" or older mentor- i'M NOT SHITTING ON IT. IT'S BECAUSE I CAN NOT VIEW THEM AS ROMANTIC.

when i think of leon and claire as acquaintances- i'm NOT SHITTING ON THE SHIP- they IN THE LORE DO NOT MAKE SENSE AS FRIENDS- LET ALONE LOVERS.

(if YOU INTERPRET it as romantic- THAT'S FINE, but don't come to me for approval because i (along with the media- disagree with you) you are COMPLETELY FINE! to ship whoever you want! i DO NOT CARE lol i'm just going to block and move on

but any interpretations of romance are based in nothing- and the story does not push for romance between two characters.

THAT'S NOT ME SHITTING ON A SHIP

i've seen a lot of "LEON'S DONE WITH ADA" interpretations of re4r and while i find it mostly amusing, capcom isn't going to rewrite AND retcon 3 pieces of media where leon and ada are STILL CANON.

we have to remember that re4 is set in 2004. and re6 is 2012. we have YEARS to see how and what else happens in between leon and ada's lives to see how intertwined they are. re4r doesn't ERASE their ship, it's just another iteration of it. i find it funny that people HOLD onto this as if it's a trump card. it's really not- leon and ada have always been a push and pull- and with how they decided to characterize leon in re4r, it makes SENSE (i've said i don't necessarily agree with it) that leon PUSHES BACK. re4 has always been their SECOND MEETING

reminder. this is the SECOND TIME THEY'VE EVER SEEN EACH OTHER. WHY THE FUCK WOULD THEY ACT MARRIED OR WHATEVER???

anyways im hungry bye lol